#i dont hate it in that i hate jury duty on its own i hate it in that i hate driving to any unknown location and also having to deal with

[undyinglantern]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

[winderlylandchime]

I am back with reports for 2x01! I really apologize for how insanely long this is but he took me for a ride. We started off strong with him walking in, sitting down with a soda opening it and cheering to the sky and going ‘let’s fucking go!!!!!’ Hits play, sees the opening where Mikey pops up, hits pause, looks at me and goes ‘where the fuck is the boy?! I want the boy! This is bullshit’ when it showed Brian he went ‘ahh there’s one of the boys..oh no he’s not good. This is bad. Where’s the boy? I need him’ Then the Britin in the hospital scene popped up, he literally paused it, hands up in the air screamed ‘THE BOY!!! HE LIVES!! HES ALIVE! OH THANK GOD I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKER! HELL YEAH. And brian is there!!! LETS GOOOO! HE VISITS EVERY? EVERY WHAT? TELL ME! Why not? Brian why do you hate me’ Immediate next reaction to Mel,Linds and Deb where they talk shit was ‘man fuck yall, he was just there! I saw him with my own two eyes! I may be a little high but i know what i saw! I only took the light shit so far!’ NOW THE SCARF! THE GASP HE LET OUT! first he did say ‘stop being creepy’ to Mikey. And then THE GASP! ‘HES FUCKIN WEARING IT UNDER?! HES BEING BLOWN IN THE CLUB WHILE THE BLOODY SCARF IS ON HIM? OH HE IS NOT OKAY! HE IS ALSO IN LOVE! OR SOMETHING! I mean i know its love but he’s clearly still in denial’ The Britin reunion? First of he was so sad about Brian being drunk, kept saying why tf doesnt Mikey realize how bad it is? My favorite quote was ‘I know hes not okay and ive known him for 23 episodes, how can YOU not MICHAEL?! Hm?’ And then the reunion? ‘FUCK YEAH AGAIN BABY! I AM WINNING WITH THIS EPISODE!!’ He was so fucking sad during the loft scene. Oh the joy of having my brother scream for the second time ‘HE DID SEE YOU!! EVERY SOMETHING, THE LADY DIDNT FINISH THE SENTENCE! BUT HE SAW YOU EVERY SOMETHING! I SAW HIM MYSELF! WITH MY OWN TWO EYES!!’ ‘He doesn’t remember the prom?! HE DOESNT REMEMBER THE DANCE?! THE JEEP PART?! GONE?! GONE BC OF THAT LIL BITCH WITH A BAT?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY IF HE DOESNT REMEMBER BEING KISSED BY A GUY IN HIS SCHOOL WHERE THEY ALL BULLIED HIM FOR IT?! HOW?!’ And then Brian shared his memories and when I tell you my brother paused the ep and walked away. Came back, sat down and went ‘i no longer think i can ‘lets fucking goooooo’ this, this isn’t fun anymore’ Worthy mentions afterwards: ‘no more david??! Yeah! fuck you and your bone cracking business’ ‘oh he’s gonna see him again!! I take it back what i said before: LETS FUCKING GOOOO AGAIN BABAY! I AM HAPPY! THEY ARE BACK!!! *makes claw like hands and shakes them* THEY!’ ‘okay i dont like her but girl, how can you be shocked she doesnt wanna marry you? That was embarrassing for all three of us! Why did you make me witness it?’ ‘Brian showed up in court! See! If he didnt care he wouldn’t show up to stupid court! I should know i tried to get out of jury duty once….i failed tho’ ‘he got his ass glued to the toilet..you know what? Good for Brian, he deserves this’

The end scene was my favorite thing he said, it actually made me giggle bc it was so accurate. So it was them tossing the ball and Jen pulls up and he pauses it and goes ‘oh no, this doesn’t have the right vibesssss. Brian is here. And Justin is here. And they’re being cute. So this means that whatever is about to happen with them is probably going to hurt me. *looks at me in shock* why am i saying probably? Oh God, this is gonna fucking hurt’ Jen delievers her lines and my brother goes ‘EVERY NIGHT! EVERY NIGHT! WHY ARENT WE TELLING JUSTIN THIS?!…JEN! Girl! That was not chill at all! You are ruining my vibes jen. Why would you say that to him while he looks like that?’ And then in a high pitch almost cry sound goes ‘but he caresssssssssss about him Jen! Jenny! Jenny jen! He cares! Cmonnnn I’m sure we can come to an agreement all three of us together! Cmon jenny jen! I know you saw how he had to swallow to say he cares! IT WASNT HIS FAULT IT WAS THAT DUDES! He’s sad and pretty and you’re gonna be mean to him? In front of me? NOT CHILL JEN! NOT CHILL AT ALL! You ruined the vibes, whatever the fuck they were..oh fuck, i need my meds!’ And when Brian drove away, he went ‘SIR! If you don’t make a U-turn right this fucking second! HOW DARE YOU NOT MAKE A U-TURN! YOU careeeeee! I care! He cares! We all careeee, so why do i have to suffer bc of a woman in a blazer’ that was followed by a pause and him getting up, taking a pain killer looking at me and going ‘this is going to be a bumpy fucking ride, now excuse me I have to go outside for no particular reason’ he then went to the front door (he had me worried there ngl bc he is only days after very serious surgery), opened it up and just stared out. Now i do have a neighbor and i heard her say ‘hey __, you okay?’ And he went ‘do I look okay to you? I am having a horrible time’ and then he closed the door, went back inside and called our mom again. Like I said, rollercoaster. Except they give you acid before getting on the ride.

Oh my god. Dear sweet anon, you are doing the lord’s work. Thank you for this detailed report. I think the evidence points to “straight cis men: not so different” because maybe he uses different words “let’s fucking go baby!” but his reaction is all of us. Whether it’s cringefail marriage proposal to hating David to his devastation at Justin not remembering prom to SCREAMING AT JEN to noticing the SWALLOW (and the look up oh god he looks to the sky and it is everything) before Brian says that he cares about Justin to screaming at Brian for sacrificing himself for what he believes is in the best interest of Justin.

His point about Brian showing up to court and trying to get out of jury duty and how this means he cares takes the damn cake.

I love your poor neighbor and what is she to think with “do I look okay to you?” and your mom who is getting these phone calls from her fully adult son beside himself about two fictional characters from 20 years ago.

Brother Anon, welcome to the fandom.

[collection-19]

SUNDAY 09 FEB 2020

0400

(((I’ve messed up a lot in my life I wasn’t really there, not because of the people around me but because of me. I didn’t know myself and still don’t really know, but I’m closer because I can see what I was doing. I don’t know everything but I know im in a different place right now, mentally. And I feel stronger, more there, I was ready before for a lot of things, and people got hurt along the journey of my lessons and teachings and that what I feel for the most, the pieces lost along the way. the moments lost. I wasn’t honest, but first to myself and that was that caused it all. not seeing yourself here. But now I see more clearly, I am more of my own person, I acted unaligned impulsively because of the circumstance but I’m changing them now - the words are right, this isn’t how it sounds in my head 0445)))

Man shits been playing on my mind a lot in the last couple months. I’ve been through a lot and have absorbed so much knowledge and experience and choas along the way. The current climate scares me. Im talking about the social, political, economic and environmental climate. Theres so many wrong doings going on rn that my current positions as a student seems irrelevant to the future we could see. Im questioning a lot of things right now and i can see things in this huge web. Everything is interconnected. Its time to start waking up, growing, learning. We need to be absorbing quality content, i mean real shit man. What is happening with indigenous communiates. Why have their rights been stripped. Why are we not learning more about the world today. Why arent we leaning about the history that created the world today. How are we meant to move forward without understanding the past, our past. If you look properly, if you see, you see that actions have changed but the motivations are still the same. We need more dialogue, experience, understanding and to learn from each other. Just start using your time to learn, and enjoy. Enjoy the here and now, living in the present, and have a undertsanding relationship with the past and future. We are more than just employees, social media profiles, constituents. We are active citizens that should be more engaged and participating. We shouldnt just contribute to society throught misplaced votes, jury duty and taxes. We all have a voice right? Its should be normal to talk, speak up, its time to understand what you’re really hearing and seeing. I’m not saying be radical, i’m saying just start questioning more - openly! Without judgement and discrimination (i’m talking about that conditioned hatred not the shit you ‘know’ is bad, that systemic embedded bullshit - we all are players we just don’t see it) and be open to explore things from different perspecitives. Its time to wake up. Life is short, but it means something…

Intentions, motivations, morals, justifications. It’s fine and healthy to be questioning yourself no?, i wish more people voiced some kind of active search for understand of the roots of out opinions, prefernces and actions - right?. We are all people, just living different experiences.

What is speciesism? - why is this relevant.

Im not some radical person, if you knew me in my life you’ll see i’m just a mellow people whos trying to take life easy. Trying to embrace the flow ya feel. I have opinions but they change, i am open to all opinions were people are willing to delve deeper. I dont know much, i’m not someone who thinks they know it all bc i dont, theres too much, im just trying to make sense of the things around me. I dont know the definietions or how to use big words but language is powerful and its kinda mad. Life is a journey of learning and evolving. Are we moving forward? We need more love, kindness, positivity, for everyone. The bigger picture man.

If theres a possibilty of harm, isnt it even worth it. Im talking about suffering and lofe and death here. The real shit people are subjected too. I live a privileged life, i do, and its disgusting that i could be living such a different life if i was born as a different race, different sex, different gender, different appearance, different body type, different height, different household, different class status, different country, difference community, different species. Why would lofe be different? Bc we have lost that sense of collectiveness, them roots. its just comparisons. We’ve lost the sense and the fact that we all live of this earth sharing the same big varied environment but we’re all in the same atmosphere, in the same planet, in the same solar system. in the same… we can go on for days here aha. I guess something that might be fitting is something i heard years ago, (maybe from buddhism) but it went something like we are all just individual drops in a ocean, but a ocean can be still or turbulant right? I dont know what i’m getting at but i think i mean we are all small but we are all part of a collective you know. We can make waves together. I think the key is in that togetherness, is that understanding (but time is running out) we gotta come together man, in today with the people you see, we need to be talking about uncomfortable topics, about hate crimes, terrorism, sex, relationships, traumas, politics, laws, the environment, the food we eat, the things we do, our routines, our likes and dislikes, there are soooooo many more things, but think about some how you’ve known people but how many times have been talked about the experiences that have shaped us or the things that are shaping who we are and our actions. We gotta alogn ourselves, and inner selves. The mind that talks while its quiet. The things that bug you or lifts you. Its a lot more man.