#i dont even understand half of what i’m reading anymore

[obliviouskara]

Slowburn is just another word for sweet torture bc that’s exactly what i feel everytime i read a fic with “slowburn” in the tags

[sunwarmed-ash]

WIP Thursday/[Sinful Sunday post??]

hey so im gonna be taking time off writing for another job all next week so I'm posting this so you have something to read. DONT WORRY Sinful Sunday will continue, I'll just be busy this sunday and next making that capitalist coin!

This may turn into a fic, it may not. I wrote it right after I finished QAF for the 36th time.

Tags: Angsty steddiegrove, sex work, HIV+ character, violence

"Where do you go at night?"

Steve and Eddie are lying on Steve’s bed smoking weed when Steve asks the question that will inevitably change the course of their relationship, their future, forever. 

"What," Eddie asks, trying and failing for aloof. He thought he had been so careful. 

“You sneak out, every night. Where do you go, when you leave?"

Lying is the only probable next course of action. If he wants to keep Steve in his life that is. The truth will sever everything they once had. 

“Dealing doesn’t exactly fit a normal 9-5," Eddie says. It’s a half-lie. 

"You were selling drugs in Lafayette at 3 in the morning? Do you think I’m stupid," Steve snaps.

Eddie’s entire body flashes hot with the amount of detail in that accusation.  

"What? No! Wait, how did you- hang on, have you been spying on me?"

"Answer the question Eddie!"

Eddie feels cornered, and that’s never a good place for him to be. Because when he feels trapped, he lies, and he can’t stop. He will say anything to cover his ass, even if its just to survive to see another minute. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you..."

Steve scoffs at Eddie’s attempt at self ownership. 

"Why can’t you tell me, Eddie? I mean, after everything we’ve been through!”

Eddie bites into his tongue. He wishes it was that easy. God, does he wish it could be that simple...  

“i can't, not with everything baby. I'm sorry.” 

“Why not?” Steve demands and now he’s angry. His eyes are lined with tears and Eddie can feel the beginning of the end coming like an approaching storm. 

“Because you won't love me anymore.” 

It’s the truth. And Eddie hates to even hear the words out loud. Because its gonna hurt so bad to hear it twice. From Steve’s lips. The soundbite will live with him for eternity. 

“Isn't that for me to decide,” Steve objects. 

“You've already decided.” 

Eddie remembers the shit Harrington pulled on Wheeler when she hurt his frail male ego by just existing in the same space as another man. He remembers the hateful way Steve spits the word ‘whore’ because he associates it with his father and all of his sins. It’s how everyone says the word. Like its poison in their mouth. 

Slut. Hooker. Whore. But that's what Eddie is. Until he can find something that pays better. Because he has to eat. He and Wayne won’t survive an Indiana winter without heat. And after Eddie was banished and then half-heartedly rewelcome into a unstable healing community, no one in Hawkins treats him the same. Weed sales have dried up. No one wants to hire him for any job. Not even the mechanic shop down the street that is desperately understaffed and Eddie is overqualified for. So what the hell else is he supposed to do? Wayne just turned 68. He shouldn’t need to work 12 hour shifts just to barely support the kid he didn't ask for in the first place. Eddie never should have been his burden. So this is Eddie’s way of giving back. Pulling his own weight so he didn't feel so much like a goddamn freeloader all the time. But could Steve understand that? Steve wasn’t stupid, but he also wasn’t, lets say as morally flexible as some other people.

"I can't- do this Eddie... If you’re going to lie to me." Steve says and one look into his eyes and Eddie feels what's left of the tie between them sever. 

"I'm not lying," He insists but its a half truth at best. 

"You're not telling me everything, that counts," Steve all but shouts. 

"You don't tell me everything."

He referring to whatever the hell went on between Hargrove and him two years ago. Eddie and Steve arent the only people different after an apocalypse. Their previous heated rivalry has all but burned out. So has Hargroves own personal brand of anger. They move around each other like chess pieces, always conscious of the others movement to limit interactions at school. But after school? Eddie’s seen Billy’s camero parked at Harrington’s more than it's parked in the trailer park. 

"That's different Eddie,” Steve huffs, scoffs as he pushes his hair back. “and you know it."

"How, how is it different Steve?" Eddie’s never brought it up before tonight. Eddie’s never been one for exclusivity, why the hell should he expect Steve to be?

"It doesn't involve you, or us. This does."

"Right,” Eddie scoffs, “Well, for argument's sake, it is safer for you not to know. For both of us."

Steve is silent for three beats too long.

Here it comes. 

Eddie can’t look at him. His face goes numb before the words can hit his ears. 

"Then you have my answer Eddie.”

It still hits him like a slap in the face. Steve’s done with him. And it hurts so much more than he anticipated it would. 

Eddie knew it was only a matter of time. He knew what Steve wanted in the end, and it was still someone more like Wheeler. A sweetheart. A family. Nothing Eddie can guarantee. Eddie doesn’t have much to say in his defense. So he doesn’t. 

"I'm sorry Eddie,” Steve, obviously uncomfortable in the silence, speaks again. “This is just, too much for me right now.”

"Okay,” comes out of Eddie’s numb mouth, even if it's the complete opposite. 

Eddie knew a clean break now would eventually be better than enduring their relationship fizzling out slowly. But it doesn't mean the inevitable failure of one more relationship doesn't hurt.

-two months later-

“Munson?”

Eddie blinks, of all the people to find him, here, he didn't think it would be Californian transplant, and fellow trailer trash bad boy Billy Hargrove from Hawkins. He just wants to disappear into the pavement. 

Eddie’s feet move to sprint, but Billy’s lighting reflexes catch him before he can. 

“Where the hell are you going now, Eddie?”

Eddie rips away from him. He hates the way his name sounds out loud. He hadn’t felt like ‘Eddie’ in weeks. He’s barely felt like anything. More like Nothing and no one. A nameless face in a sea of sex workers, businessmen, and bar patrons that he cycled through every day. 

“It’s none of your damn business,” Eddie spits, though it doesn't have much venom. He doesn't have the energy. He's sick, he’s cold, and he’s so fucking tired. He still has two more clients he can’t blow off tonight if he wants to have a prayer at ever getting unburied under his last hospital bill. Billy Hargrove and Hawkins and all that past shit is his lowest priority.  

“People are worried man,” Billy says, stopping Eddie from taking more than a step away. “Wayne especially. Don't you give a shit about him?”

Now Eddie is pissed, because who the fuck did Billy Hargrove think he was, telling him about what he should do? Talking to him about Wayne. As if he understood a goddamn thing about their lives! His anger flairs up his cough that only aggravates the pneumonia-scarred tissue and then Eddie’s coughing so hard it nearly knocks him over. 

When Billy moves close to ‘help’ Eddie slaps him off. 

“Everything I’m doing is for him! You don’t fucking know shit, Billy! How could you, you're just a kid!”

And while Billy was 17 and Eddie was 6 months into his 23rd lap around the earth, he felt so much older. His tragic sequence of life events had aged him decades. He’d be lucky to make it to 24 at this rate. 

Billy watches him curiously, putting together pieces Eddie doesnt mean him to. 

“Why did you take off Eddie?” 

“Why do you care?” Eddie doesn’t really think it's concern he sees in Billy's features. 

“Wayne doesn't have anyone else. You scared the shit out of him when you left.”

“Oh and what, you two are bffs now,” Eddie asks bitterly. 

Billy shrugged. 

“We've been spending a lot of time together, yeah.”

Eddie scoffs wetly. Fantastic. Now even Wayne has his own Eddie replacement. A better, nicer son. If Wayne didn’t need him anymore, well, he didn’t have any more ties back to Hawkins. He should be relieved, but instead he just feels empty. Forgotten. Unwanted. Billy had said people missed him, but the only name he offered up was Wayne’s.  

Eddie sniffs up the tears threatening to spill and reaches into his jacket. He takes out the seven hundred dollars and change he’s managed to squirrel away after his last AZT prescription refill and holds it out to Billy. 

“What is this?” Billy looks at the wad like its poisoned, and well, he's not entirely wrong, it's certainly dirty money. But its still green. And that’s all the world runs on. And speaking of money, the man he was currently scheduled to suck off is honking at him from across the parking lot, eyeing Billy with violent intent. Eddie needed to move quick before this escalated. 

“I’m not coming back. T-To Hawkins, I mean. I can’t, so I need you to give this to Wayne for me. Can I trust you to get it to him?”

Billy finally takes the money, counts it, and then his jaw drops. 

“There’s over seven hundred dollars here Eddie.”

“I know,” Eddie sighs dejectedly. “It should have been more but,” but you got stupid and believed some pretty, coked-up twink instead of following your gut. And now you get to live with the weight of that decision, forever… “It doesn’t matter. Just, please make sure he gets it. It should cover the next few payments on the trailer.”

Billy looks at him for a long time. 

“What the hell have you been doing Munson?”

Eddie scoffs before the car horn across the street blares loud, startling him right out of his skin. 

“Nothing you want to know about. Just please make sure he gets it, and knows, I’m sorry. For all of it.”

Billy’s eyes lower suspiciously. 

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Eddie shrugs.

“Because it has to be.” Eddie can’t feel anything below his neck anymore. The honk is starting up again. He’s really pushing his luck now. 

“Eddie, come on,” Hargrove begs and why does it sound like he’s actually pleading? Billy’s never had a nice word to say to him or Steve. And now he’s gone for what, a few weeks, and his enemy wants to become best friends? He doesn’t understand this plotline. He’s ready to get out of it. 

“I’m gotta go, Billy. Please, look out for Wayne.”

Eddie leaves the very next minute and sprints across the street, just narrowly avoiding being hit by the semi that blasts his horn.

[pyrodolls]

gorgeous (havik x gn! reader)

warnings: slight gore i suppose? and spoilers for mk1’s story mode but if ur reading this i’m sure you already know.

a/n: i still dont know how tumblr works but i love havik sm so i just wanna keep writing him. anyways this is based off of how i was listening to gorgeous by taylor swift and thought of havik bc he may look like a burnt rotisserie chicken but HE IS VERY GORGEOUS TO ME!!

you always had a crush on havik. you originally met through quan chi, since you were both working with him. but you decided to not pursue havik, since he seemed very keen on his journey to liberation. you figured he wasn’t looking for a relationship, especially because he probably isn’t the type of guy to commit to one.

besides, you had some problems of your own to deal with. for example, even though you were working with him, you still found quan chi to be a pain in the ass. he was always asking you to do meaningless chores and missions, while giving the harder ones to your other allies like sareena, darrius, and nitara. you were tired of being treated like you were weak.

“quan chi.” you called out from behind him.

“oh, (y/n). i’m assuming you have finished scouting the area.” he said, as you were both at the ying fortress. you were there with quan chi, aiding him and shang tsung as they were working on their soul stealers. quan chi had ordered you to keep watch outside the fortress along with nitara and sareena. they apparently had a run-in with sub-zero, scorpion, and smoke.

“i have. sareena and nitara ran into a few intruders recently.” you informed.

quan chi furrowed his eyebrows. “intruders? were they sent by liu kang?”

you nodded. “most likely. nitara and sareena could not stop them. they are probably already inside as i speak.”

“stay here. keep watch while i apprehend our little intruders.” he growled.

you rolled your eyes. “i will not stay here. i’ll apprehend them myself, quan chi.”

then, you ran inside the fortress before he could argue with you. you must prove yourself useful, so quan chi will cease to underestimate your kombat.

you ran into the fortress and found a swarm of guards running around the area led by sub-zero himself and shang tsung.

“what is the meaning of this, shang tsung? isn’t sub-zero working for liu kang?” you questioned.

sub-zero scoffed. “i refuse to be associated with liu kang anymore. while working with him, the lin kuei were doomed to mediocrity. now, we will achieve greatness. unfortunately, kuai liang does not understand the lin kuei’s potential. we must not let him escape.”

you nodded, and went on your way to help find kuai liang. if you were the one to apprehend a member of the lin kuei, you would be well respected. you were determined to find him.

until you ran into havik and darrius. and they had just fought kuai liang.

unfortunately, it looked like havik’s face didn’t exactly survive the wrath of scorpion.

“havik..?” you whispered, seeing half of his face gone. it was flesh instead of his regular, beautiful skin and lips.

havik’s expression was of rage and exhaustion from his defeat. until he saw you, and his face softened. he went quiet, not replying to you and just looking down.

“what happened?” you asked, kneeling down to his side. “did scorpion do that to you?”

“yes. he shoved my face in there.” he spat, pointing at a pot of some kind of burning liquid.

“i see..” you sighed. “that must’ve hurt. aren’t you going to heal it?”

havik paused, and thought about your question. he stood up and looked into a reflective surface nearby, analyzing his new face.

“i suppose i won’t. i can use it as a symbol of chaos.” he claimed, proud of his new revelation. he looked down to your slightly disappointed face and scoffed. “is there a problem with that?”

“i mean, no, not at all. in fact, i think you still look… gorgeous.” you muttered.

havik raised an eyebrow. “still? gorgeous?”

you paused, deciding whether you can pretend you misspoke or be honest.

“yeah.. i thought you looked great when you still had your face. and now, i think you still look good. especially because of how proud you are of your new appearance. that is very honorable.” you admitted.

havik chuckled. “i see. i appreciate your compliments. i do believe my scars are a memorabilia of my past struggles and reminders of the kombat i have faced. my wounds are a sign that i honorably fight for liberation, and i will never surrender to anyone or give up, no matter how painful the journey may be.” he ranted.

you listened intently to his rant, genuinely interested in what he had to say. you didn’t fully agree to some of the things he does, but you overall sympathize with his struggles and understand that his anger and drive are because of his rough past. you wanted to help him, and free him of his pain. even if you disagree with some of his methods, you’ll be there for him.

“you are one of the only people to truly understand me. i appreciate your intelligence.” havik complimented. “would you like to join me in my journey? i could use your skills and i can provide you safe haven from harm. however, you must agree to accept chaos.”

you thought about his offer for a moment. if you decided to directly work with havik, you’ll most likely never go back to your regular life. you will make enemies that you don’t want. you realized he will probably be your only company for a while.

“i will join you.” you replied.

and so, you both worked together to spread chaos and bless outworld with anarchy. havik was very pleased with your efforts and how you wouldn’t hesitate to help aid him. he ended up confessing his feelings for you, and you were both pretty happy together. he was overprotective over you and vowed to keep you safe from harm. you were supportive and tried to help him heal from his past.

overall, havik loved you. even though he never imagined himself feeling so devoted to another being, he was grateful that you were the hope and light that kept him sane throughout his life full of blood, sweat, and tears. with you by his side, and slowly succeeding in freeing his people in seido, havik was very content with his life.

[dragon-queen21]

HI ! back again, im sorry for the lack of closure of my last ramble, i was going through it and just couldnt write anymore (im fine now!) i apologize for that and all the typos. i didnt get to re-read it before i submitted it.

-Im actually half hispanic too! twins! but your right, i can definitely see ace being pretty good at spanish, and luffy knowing a selective amount. luffy can hold a conversation but hes not going to start speaking it fluently out of nowhere. all his crew can speak the same language, and robin is always there if someone else doesnt speak what they are, so he definitely wouldnt have as much practice as if he were still living in the goa kingdom.

-kinda odd hc but for some reason i also feel like spanish would be his first language considering his island would be located in brazil and then he was taught english by maybe garp? or makino? (or would it be japanese? sorry i watch in dub) and shanks was the one who taught him more of eng/jp (like slang, nicknames, etc) and ge eventually just picked it up more and like you said his spanish got really rusty

-imagine that when ace luffy and sabo were kids luffy tried to teach them eng/jp. it was actually going pretty good until the 3 of them started spurting out pirate lingo when garp was around.

now fast forward imagine little luffy with ace and luffy starts trying to teach ace eng/jp and ace is pretending to learn it all again to make him happy aweeeee

-Now back on captain smoker, luffy somehow gets smoker to carry him or hold his hand (the fear of being alone is insane) and smoker is PRAYINGG his men dont find him. theyd totally tattle on him

imagine luffy getting upset because they cant find his crew and smoker is trying his boy scouts best to calm him down. smoker is sweating BULLETS on the hunt for these strawhats (all of a sudden when he needs them theyre not causing a rucus) (smoker ends up getting luffy like candy or something to try and chill him out)

smoker gives luffy back to the crew and theyre all debating whether or not to tell smoker that luffys actually a baby right now (they end of giving him their gratitudes and booking it for the time being, knowing luffy, theres gonna be a next time.)

-i also wanna drop what if shanks were with luffy if he were regressed? how would that come about? maybe luffy regresses after not seein shanks for ten years and shanks is just like “this checks out” and treats him how he used to ? him and shanks’ crew all just chill with little luffy, i find that ADORABLE. (luffy and usopp regress together on the red force and yasopp gets to treat his son, like the child he left banchina with) (sorry im a believer that usopp doesn’t absolutely HATE his dad)

-babyspace luffy being babied by shanks (and the crew) because everyone in the one piece world just KNOWSSSS dragons a dead beat, and theres no way garp coddled this kid HE WOULDNT BE SEEN DEAD

wow can you believe this and my last submission was supposed to be about sanji? luffy stole the spotlight

okay this is getting way to long i fear, but thank you for continuing to read and answer my rambles, i mean when i say that it means a lot to me. and in your last-last reply to me, im happy that i can make your day. i hope these continue to do so. thank you so much🤍

and i wanna say this, dont ever feel that you need to answer my asks, i understand that i write a lot, i dont ever want to overwhelm you.

📷

Eh first of all,don’t worry about any typeos, have you seen my writing even proof reading I struggle man ;-; I’m just glad you’re feeling better <3

Second; eyyy twins!!! :D

~Mkay but I will raise you one, Luffy ‘teaching’ Ace swear words and then being like “bu’ you can’t say those cause den Sanji and Nami get angry if you says.”

“trying his boy scouts best”

<- XD I love that. Poor guy. The ONE time not a single thing is happening anywhere!

~Smoker offering to buy Luffy cotton candy when he sees a sweets stand, only has the regressor crying more, babbling something about a… Chopper??? And he’s so confused. Kids like candy. What the heck?!

~ I can imagine meeting up with Shanks and a conversation going something like this.

“Uh captain, you aren’t wondering what’s happening to Luffy or if this is like- a devil fruit affect?”

Shanks meanwhile with a toddler regressed Luffy clinging to his side

“Nah, seems normal to me”

~Usopp would definitely be shy around his father. Sticking towards Luffy and following his lead.

~Let Luffy be spoiled! He needs the love and attention that he gives others.

“Luffy stole the spotlight”

<- As he often does. You know I started a fic with Nami and Usopp and it slowly just evolved to just start focusing on Luffy. It just can’t be helped sometimes :3

I love answering these! I literally got home and was like :0 :D new message!! They don’t overwhelm me at all. As long as you’re okay with me taking a couple days to respond :3

<3<3<3

[crosswindtakeoff]

I WANNA TALK ABT ARATA FOR A BIT AND HIS CHARACTER

ARATA IS GOOD CHARACTER WRITING, U GUYS JUST HAVEN’T READ POWER OF UNITY AND/OR U DONT READ BETWEEN THE LINES (/HJ)

  BUT UHM I THINK.  It is important to start off by trying to understand where his actions came from. They fr don't justify it in any way, but it can be a fantastic point to start off for sympathy and still look forward to them becoming a better person (kinda like how Akito was hella out of line for punching Toya in the main story but u still feel bad knowing how much Bad Dogs means to him)

Arata seems to act so bitter because he is jealous that Akito and Toya still chase the same dream he has while being partners. This is not even up for debate, it's canonically implied. He doesn't even start to be cocky before Akito says "We're partners" and Toya notes that his demeanor seems to suddenly shift. I feel like it's pretty blatantly obvious that Arata can see himself in Akito,, A young kid who's shooting high, but feels confident as he still has his partner beside him for support. 

Arata doesn't have that anymore. He's clearly grieving the loss of his partner, even if he is still alive, he can't perform with Souma anymore because he was in a car accident. A lot of his actions in the first place seem to rise from bitter jealousy. Again, it doesn't justify his actions, but it explains them. He's had this dream for so much longer, worked so much harder, and now some other people are shooting for the same dream and getting close fast all because they're all still together with their closest partner. He thinks it's not fair to him that he had to have his chance ripped away all by circumstance, and half of it isn't even because he's jealous about the aspiration of surpassing RAD WEEKEND, He's jealous Akito still has someone he can call a partner and be with. In conclusion so far: Arata is GAY AS FUCK for Souma and basically Akitoya if instead of them supporting each other and reaching for their dreams, they had it ripped away from them in a swift instant.

Arata isn't jealous that his dream of surpassing RAD WEEKEND is being taken up by other people, he's jealous of the fact that Akito has someone to share that dream with. It wasn't Arata's dream, it was his and Souma's dream, and when he's out trying to surpass it, even with Souma in the hospital, he tells people he's doing it for a friend. He's desperately clinging onto the idea that it is still the shared dream even if Souma can not even participate.

Also this first screenshot adds to my point that his initial bitterness started from missing his partner. It's implied by the end of Stray Bad Dog that Arata and Akito are on mutual terms of rivalry, but one built out of respect and recognition for the other's skill. In this screenshot, he's mentioning how Akito genuinely looks forward to Akito performing again before briefly lamenting how it'd be better if his partner was here. (Souma is referred to with they/them pronouns of this entire event for some reason?? I'm assuming it's a translation error, but in my heart it just means Souma is he/they #slay)

ANYWAYS I think that since they're now in a mutual place of respect, their relationship turns to one of sort of like a mentor and apprentice. In Power of Unity, (which is yet to be released in EN,) Arata mentions that he lost to Taiga and afterwards, he told him how to improve... The words confuse him and he doesn't know what to do.

Turns out, VBS is trying to get a feel at what holding an event feels like so they decide to do one but need people. Arata asks to join and they hesitantly do. Throughout the event he's genuinely trying to help them hype people up under the guise of Taiga's words. He really needs to stop and understand the people in this town and who they are... He even goes as far as to offer to change his song in the lineup to make it sound better instead of being self-important, a total 180 from his initial personality in Stray Bad Dog. He ends up getting distracted because Souma has recently transferred into a hospital in town and he starts taking calls about it and ends up inviting Toya and Akito to come visit with him. It's then they start to have a mutual understanding even more so of their dreams and Akito says "We're doing this even together - We're teammates." 

Arata then asks if he or Toya understands Taiga's words and they both say they don't but will do anything to try and understand for him. Eventually at the end, they hold the event together and just end up doing their best to do so. Arata says he has every intention of just figuring things out and working hard towards his dream with no shortcuts, but he wants to get there the fastest route possible and he feels like that's possible if he and Akito support each other and share their ideas and OHHHHFUHFU FUCK I LOVE THEM SO MUCH OK? THEY'RE FAMILY NOW :((((((((( <3 THEY ARE A TEAM. 

Hell, I'd even go as far as to argue that Power of Unity is as much of an Arata-centered event as it is an Akito-centric event... maybe even moreso Arata.

I just need all Arata haters who say "I don't like him bc of how he treated Akito. It makes me mad." to read power of unity bc AKITO ISN'T EVEN MAD AT HOW ARATA TREATED HIM ANYMORE LET IT GO U GUYS, LET IT GO.  /LH

[the-kipsabian]

Yo hi there! I’m very sorry to bother you at this time of the day, just reaching out if you’d be so kind to check the post that I pinned on my blog and maybe give it a little help by boosting/sharing it? it’s for my cat :((( and we need help to get him the dental care he needs. It would really mean the world to me and I understand if you don’t, still appreciate you and stay safe! and btw, please do send me a msg to reply or answer the ask privately instead as I want avoid other blogs to think im a spambot or what, once again im sorry for asking this, praying you’d consider! 🫶🏽🥹

you know what

no 🙏❤

hey kids, lets play a game of spot a scam again!! (im copying the message ive replied with before here and the original is at the bottom if you wish to reblog that one :) just editing this a bit here to show the new stuff they are putting out there in this very message yay!!)

okay this is literally the same story ive seen before at least three times. its word to word the same. youre not even trying

reblogs only from original posts. they have gotten "smarter" tho as this blog followed me in attempts to try to show its "real". and yet they havent reblogged from blogs they supposedly follow, only from probably the top posts from some popular tags and only from the original posters. also please note literally all the posts in their blog have been reblogged today within the past three to four hours (apparently im so loopy i cant read times rn, its been about the past 15 to 16 hours but the point still stands, they are all reblogged within the last 24 hours)

also they try to act more human with a decent description and likes and follows turned off. dont try hun

their only original post as far as i scrolled (which admittedly wasnt very far as its obvious this is a scam lol) is the donation post. unsurprisingly

ive said it before and i'll say it again - they seem to target people in similar positions that they are supposedly in, trying to pluck that sympathy cord with "your pet is sick so you are sensitive and know how this feels". this isnt my case rn but i obviously have posted cat photos and i have a donation ko-fi link in my pinned post sssoooo

"pls consider answering this ask privately" lmao so what people dont know youre a scammer? NEXT (they literally say this now like lmaooo for real? so that people dont think youre a scam bot?? honey please are you even trying)

a simple search even within tumblr tells you people already know about this. the account, the story and the cat. you aint fooling anymore

if unsure kids, ask a friend and google things 👍 reverse image search, for example, is your best friend!! also googling the latter half of the given paypal name reveals immediately that this is a scam. plastered all over the first search page lmao

also kids, in case youre asking "well what bad could a one little me reblogging a post even if its a scam do if i dont donate :/" 1. im sorry what and 2. it makes them look legitimate which they are not. the more notes the more trusted the source cause tumblr is full of idiots (sorry not sorry ive been here for over 11 years i know what people are like) plus you put your friends, mutuals and followers in a risk of participating in a scam. and have your name associated with it as well. do i need to go on?

anyways hi go report this blog and always be hesitant if someone you dont know asks you for donations like this. unless its a beloved mutual on your dash, reconsider. stay safe, thanks 💜

looking forward to being unfollowed and blocked immediately after posting this, but i'll be sure to report you for a scam. :) also fuck you for using someone elses poor cat and their situation to literally scam good natured people out of money, what the fuck is wrong with you

peace and love, fuck you ✌💜

[fourtyfourcatss]

୨⎯ "for @toyafreethoughts" ⎯୧

PART 1

[a/n] so in order to make things less clotted, i’m going to be posting in two parts! this has 5 of your matchups, while the other one coming in a few days will have the rest so you dont have to wait so long! (even though you said you can wait, snack on these for a bit!)

BSD ✯ MUSHITARO OGURI !

✯ oh my god the two of you are absolutely horrific to the people around you. x times x is equivalent to x^2 and that applies to your messy chaos together. mushitaro is the silliest man out there while keeping a straight face (always). the relationship is going to be that kind where its so chaotic (mostly because of him) but like, you dont feel that its chaotic. something major would be happening and with his dramatics, you’re kind of not surprised of anything anymore lol. hes a bonafide theatre kid in his soul, jax. he’s definitely going to (fake) faint into your arms or whisper something exceedingly obvious to you aloud whilst he is on another tangent. “hold me jax!” — gets very needy sometimes and he’s not afraid to show it

✯ “youre a genius, jax!” he says as you chime in with your thoughts. he thinks your words are deeply thought provoking sometimes, and might spend a few seconds thinking of a response before responding

✯ at first he’s like, half half being able to read whether or not your words are genuine or sarcastic or whatnot. but he loves reading! he won’t give up on trying to differentiate and understanding the connotations and meanings behind your words, not until he can properly understand what you are trying to express! this creates a lot of tension at first, since he thinks you were subtly poking at him, however, as your bond deepens, he starts to truly understand you as a person. and he wants to see you for you.

✯ he thinks you are very refined in your way of thinking and your actions of consideration. he gets you with the anger — he himself does not have a good temperament when things do not go to plan, but, it is not so bad of a thing. the two of you can work on it together, thats what lovers are for, taking and learning the good parts from your lover and reflecting on oneself. at times like these, he needs to ground himself, holding your hand tightly, fingers intertwined. you’re here with me, right?

✯ he admires you often times. the littlest actions of yours build up so strongly inside his heart, the way you would share your baked goods with your friends and acquaintances, the relationship you have with your family and your culture and dancing. its wonderful, absolutely engaging to his allured mind. while i do not see his extremely active participation, i see his gaze on you. unbearably soft in contrast to his brash outbursts.

✯ he has a very thick face, and doesnt get embarrassed easily. it takes a lot, a lot more than anything you will do to make him embarrassed - especially as a lover and a friend and a person in general. why should he? you’re a kind soul inside; he always knows he can trust that.

✯ sometimes there will be moments of dramatic mood shifts — suddenly the atmosphere’s turning sweet and somber around the two of you. sweet winds from the patio combing through your hair, watching you draw.

JJK ✯ TOJI FUSHIGURO !

✯ toji is… very adamant in accepting your help. this is a very curious development and a first to occur. he’s very taken aback by your emotional maturity during harsh times and your vibrancy after breaking out the shy outer shell! it exposes him to another light of you that he becomes enamored with from the beginning, and deeper down the rabbit hole as time passes. falling out of love? not a thing around here partner. and your upright countenance, always standing for your values and your loves, and it just squeezes his heart - because he knows and he doesnt know how that feels. in the zenin clan, there’s always an oppressing hand, a choking grasp, and he couldnt fight back until later onwards - yet all the same, he would forget his ways from time to time. you are like the moon reflecting the sun’s light, the closest celestial body to earth, reining him in like waves, a constant he realizes after being with you has made him hope again. you won’t leave, he knows you will not.

✯ you always somehow brighten up his day immensely with your actions and remarks, big and small. and by immensely, i mean you pull this man out of depression with your realism, yet unending strive to look forward. seeing you pack lunches for megumi and tsumiki, your compassion for other human beings. you’re an amazing catalyst and source of motivation for him to better himself.

✯ you know how some guys want to show off to the people they like? he does this whenever he can. toji is the type of man who knows hes attractive to others, but does not particularly think he is attractive to himself. he has neutral feelings about it. but, he enjoys caging you in his presence. your energy makes him want to stay close to you, and thats what he does. he really, really likes your hugs, i dont know why i think so but i feel like he would just love hugging you as you draw or read or game. a sleepy toji on your shoulder. but he knows you feel very uncomfortable with hugs — so arm links while holding hands is enough! if you can, use him as your muse for drawing! or perhaps a model. he would feel very flattered either way. you surprise him a lot with the combination of actions and things you say, and seeing his widened eyes is a common sight! he loves your lap too.

✯ not only that, he’s definitely the type to pull you in by the belt loops for a kiss! you get surprised in the summer with your favorite soft drinks being suddenly placed on your nape, and you look back to see him, lightly smiling and handing you what little things he may get you. toji is a very frugal man, so except for anniversaries, gifts are very simple but effective! power couple fr

DR1 ✯ MONDO OWADA!

✯ absolutely NOBODY expected the two of you to get together - not even the two of you yourselves. it’s been some time since ive played DR1, so excuse me for any mayhaps!

✯ a surmountable part of mondo’s character is that he is a man of honor, someone who is blazing inside with passion that is tilted so easily off the scale, someone who can reach out to you first and get you comfortable. you balance him out devastatingly well, keeping his unique traits and outstanding qualities, and toning down his temperament. your relationship with him is so gentle, he tries so hard to be tender with you. that’s because of your own characteristics, he feels deeply and connects with your own set of values. i can tell you are a sensible person who loves the people around you, and with what you’ve said about gratitude, mondo falls for you because of that first, and then everything next. you make him feel hyped up for things, and you make him see reason when he gets too heated under the collar. you make him feel like himself. you genuinely better him with your compassion - humbling him internally and helping him overcome his weakness. the two of you are so cute when you first meet! both of you are shy in your own ways, which is outputted on different ways too.

✯ he’s amazing at all sports, and definitely shows off while hes on the field. mans probably pointing and saying “this is for jax!” to the audiences. silly man has silly wants and needs.

✯ what he loves receiving from you is your words and your thoughts. your moods of deep contemplation fascinates him greatly, and he listens to everything you have to say like the apostle of a deity. many times i see him asking you for some advice and comfort, since he trusts your judgement.

✯ you have a free biker gang completely protecting you now. absolutely safe from everything in that territory, they treat you like a prince! and he treats you like a king. he definitely likes doing the princess carry on you, and riding his bike through the city with you at his back. the latter will definitely take some time to build up to due to the trauma he has received - he doesnt want to lose another person to a traffic accident - no. but, slowly, he learns to trust himself again, and drives very safe!

✯ the two of you share airbuds to listen to whatever you want! he has an adoration to you enough that he can tolerate almost anything - play thought vocaloid songs and those k/j-pop songs! he’ll find enjoyment with you, and thus enjoyment in that too. happiness is associated with you, growth is associated with you. he thinks he can go anywhere as long as he has you near him.

GORO AKECHI ✯ P5 !

✯ bro really thought romance couldnt catch up to him, but he is dead wrong. you are here and ready to steal his cold little heart.

✯ the two of you have a little sort of one-upping rivalry at first. it was never that serious with you, but he made it serious, he took it as a challenge and then the other phantom thieves fanned it, and it escalated. cue rivals to lovers! now that im thinking about it, you have a very particular taste in men, mostly the ones who people would usually keep away from association in real life if they were here.

✯ you are a miracle worker opening him up to his vulnerabilities. he absolutely loathes you for that, and he loathes how hardworking you are or how you smile or — everything he likes about you he also hates — but he cannot escape that little part of him that absolutely loves being seen and acknowledged. your independence is something he understands well, but in your case it seems to be natural, not nurtured like him, who was forced to be independent and never having a shoulder to lean on. he hides his exterior with this shell, but he’s so gooey and soft like an amazing chocolate chip cookie on the inside.

✯ he definitely is intrigued by you. he has to remark your music taste is not bad, however he will always prefer jazz. your inclination towards instruments though? that he is most interested in. what instruments do you play? may he come over sometime to hear your playing? your dancing too - dont be surprised when you spot a tuff of light brown hair if you perform, be it for any type of events. he’s a detective! he says in order to deter saejima’s teasing, he is a curious soul, just like you. thats why, he wants to know everything, and understand everything. it’s impossible to understand everything about a human being though, and there are many traits he must dash before he can truly enter a healthy relationship with you. you have time, but it is ticking closer and closer to the days where the consequences of his actions will catch up to him. nobody can ever take back what they have already done — but he trusts in your heart, and knows you will be waiting for him. do not worry though, it will not be a long wait.

✯ he spoils you rotten (those extra checks finally comes to show it’s face) and when you start piling little pieces your things into his apartment, he starts to really roll under this thing called love. forgetting your sweater or perhaps an earring or accessory when you visit, and he gets hit with a pang of his heart whenever he smells the scent you use for your laundry or the shampoo when he gets close to you.

✯ as a thief, he’s also very good with his hands. he partakes in your hobbies with you actively, especially pottery and puppetry. someone will make some mini puppets of you and him, and he would blush when he puts the lips of the puppets together lol. he’s cute and weird in love. he’s always looking and observing and etching your movements into his eyelids, boisterous but not sharp words. like sitting in a quiet cafe together, just the two of you.

KNY ✯ ENMU!

✯ for this one i the one caught off guard. enmu? it really secured down to me what type you have when it comes to men. here’s the thing: i have no confidence writing enmu whatsoever, but i’ll try my best anyways and see how it works!

✯ enmu is a very indulgent lover. for a demon who eats humans, he sure knows how to treat his human lover well - like many other human demon romances, it starts because of his curiosity in the human race with their behaviors and emotions. i think with you, he started with the intention of having you as a lover after meeting you mistakingly while on a quiet night out.

✯ he particularly enjoys the traits you have that he does not — the idiosyncrasies between the two of you often endearing him. he is a horrible person inside and out with his tendencies and his characteristics, to not sugarcoat, but all the same, enmu can definitely appreciate what is in front of him. you. he definitely enjoys getting a rise out of you to hear the way your voice sounds, and watching some of your reluctance but still indulging attitude has him smiling! won’t you kiss him goodnight too?

✯ absolutely adores your hobbies. music, dancing, filmmaking, creative arts. whenever you do such things, he snaps out of whatever reverie he had, your grounding presence keeping him inside reality. do you sing too? he reckons you have an amazing voice that’s begging to be heard — either you yourself does not know, or think otherwise. he’s a very clingy lover, so once he takes your hands, he won’t let go until you have to >_< lots and lots of pecks everywhere. he loves dotting your face with little kisses and watching you shut your eyes. he could kill you after this project, but, he’s thinking for this, he can make an exception

✯ ah but he’s definitely taken a more keener interest on the mandela catalog and the scp foundation. sweep him away with your knowledge! no matter how far the horror deepens, he’s always had an amazing tolerance for the grotesque and the arbitrary.

[ginnsbaker]

I hate reader so much 💀 like all of their actions leave me completely flabbergasted you have that dream about hurting a woman you love (or loved i can’t even tell anymore) because you know you’re a toxic person whos been using and hurting her and immediately after ending that jump straight back into things with another woman. I really want pietro to see reader maybe with yelena and just snap and have a fight and then somewhere in that lets it slip what wanda did cos reader needs to know and i’m interested to see how they react to that tbh i can see if reader does find out then wanda potentially getting the wrong idea like reader only suddenly cares out of pity or something like that. Also yelena is a weird one cos in some ways shes very similar to wanda in the sense that she doesn’t seem to want to give up on reader (genuinely cannot understand why but uno). Yelena surely must know that reader is not good for her (especially not without therapy and lots of it) and there are other/better options. It just seems that yelenas sense of self worth isn’t great either if she’s so willing to keep putting herself through things with reader. I also think if reader really cared about yelena they wouldn’t be perusing anything yet, since they ended things with wanda they haven’t really been alone and not knowing how to be alone seems to be doing more damage than good. Now im gonna talk a bit about wanda, I don’t know how you have me feeling so much sympathy towards a cheater (especially as someone who was cheated on). One thing i wanted to ask is why did wanda cheat? Like i can’t really get my head around it because there didn’t seem to be any problems or sense of unhappiness from her? Like seriously every chapter I’m waiting for a reveal like she was being drugged or blackmailed or something anything cos I can’t understand why. But anyway, im glad wanda is getting therapy finally someone in this fic is it’s about damn time. The dream in the start made me so sad because its so true reader is hurting wanda so much and shes just taking it all because she’s convinced herself it’s justified and she deserves it. Even when she was defending reader against her brother it was just heartbreaking because reader doesn’t deserve that. And like i know she was wrong and she cheated but even then she doesn’t deserve what reader is doing to her using her for sex and being so rough just doesn’t sit right with me at all. Also hearing reader say they wanted to hurt her is sad i was half expecting something saying that they just said that for yelenas sake and deep down they still love her but nope. And at this point i dont know if they should work things out even though i wanted them to at the start. The more i read the more i think reader fucked up more and keeps fucking up and honestly wanda deserves better than giving herself up and letting someone use her. Im not team yelena or team wanda im more team therapy or team make wanda happy 😂

💀 anon, is this you? if not, i hope you assign yourself an emoji cos this is GOLD reaction haha (minor spoilers ahead-wont affect you experience i think)

Reader - Not gonna make an excuse about her actions because Pietro is right. But Delayed-onset PTSD, is showing us the ACTUAL effects of the cheating on R's mental and emotional stability.

Piet - He promised not to tell R, and he will respect his sister's wishes. But... yes, R will find out.

Yelena - I didn't want to say anything about Y being that she's the one who's least fucked up, but to go after someone hard and refuse to give up on someone despite the red flags is also a cause for alarm. R and Y were each other's first loves. R got married. Then miraculously, R got divorced and Y couldn't believe the window opened to The One That Got Away/Love of her life. How do you let that opportunity go? Yelena is stubborn because she grew up with R, she think she still knows R, still knows how to fix her, that she can get better for her in the long run. Don't we all, at one point, chose to stick with someone even tho they are bad for us, because love gave us hope?

Wanda - "we accept the love we think we deserve" as long as Wanda hasn't forgiven herself, she thinks she deserves every bad thing thrown her way. Sometimes people really are genuine remorseful. This is why I questioned my belief if I can forgive cheating (and IFISS and ILGOSS was born)

Back to Reader - someone mentioned Reader is becoming the villain of the story. I kinda lean on that because out of everyone, R is the one who needs therapy, especially because on the surface she seems sane. She IS trying to still be good, to be decent, to give people what they want, and the thing that happened with Wanda was her momentarily giving in to her darkest deepest desires, and snapped out of it, stopped herself further by ghosting Wanda again. But this strategy clearly isn't working anymore, so yeah, therapy for everyone!

whew! I hope you get some insights about this, but as the story unfolds, i hope all the things ive said above will bleed through.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

Even more so for sending this reaction. I love reading everyone's thoughts!

[hopeless-eccentric]

https://at.tumblr.com/hopeless-eccentric/so-eowyn-huh-my-blistering-take-is-that-her/7321kxeb70wr

I really love this analysis. I don’t yet have a tumblr but while I’m thinking about it I just wanted to add on:

It is so important we remember there is no such thing as “feminine” and “masculine” natural to humans. Everything we call bt those words were always potential traits of all of us. And those concepts, even the idea to list and name passive/nurturing/subjugated vs active/conquering/dominant as 2 different types at all… that was a choice. That was a choice made by every culture that invented women’s subjugation and male supremacist ideals. While often vaguely tethered to something real without our invention, this is in the “grain of truth in the lie” way. Ex: of course mothers nurture most directly, yet taking this to mean nurturing is a woman-associated and not-man-associated role is a leap we chose to make.

So “feminine vs masculine” is a fake concept we made up and can choose to unmake (forget)

….. I guess it’s important to me in the context of this discussion because I don’t see Eowyn as wanting to be feminine at the end she wants to be HUMAN and whole, without reference to any of these false concepts. Not even androgyny is needed as a concept once we fully accept all people, ALL people benefit from being gentle, all people benefit from being strong, being calculating, being heartfelt, being angry when anger is called for, being forgiving when it’s time, and so on. That is not half feminine half masculine. That is not androgynous. Not really. Or, we don’t have to see it that way and I desperately feel we will all be better off once we don’t. It’s just people. People of whatever body type.

When a young woman who eschewed “being feminine” on purpose to defy what was put on her comes around to not auto-rejecting everything labeled feminine by others/society… she is NOT “embracing being feminine”. That’s the whole point. She has learned to see BEYOND these false concepts. She is no longer ruled by the concept feminine — not in conforming or auto-rejecting in resistance, in fear that if she gives an inch everyone takes mile after mile, including her own willpower to resist the allure, the rewards and skipped punishments, in feminine conformity. She now in contrast is comfortable in no longer being able to be controlled. Nonconformity is now so effortless it is not a resistance. Even in matching up with some random shit others label “feminine” she is nonconformist because she does not see it as related to this concept of “how 2 be woman” anymore. Woman is now just a state of her body. Nothing more to be read into it. She is now comfortable she has defeated the pressures external and internal, broken the socialization, developed her own critical eye and will never do anything that hurts herself, degrades her, or steals from joy. And she never needs to worry about any cultural standard or roles labeled “for woman” ever again. Because she is unbothered, and not listening to trash like that, fully, deeply not listening.

So now she can do whatever she likes, and does not need to think of the “gender” of any of it at all. A woman as I just described is as close as anyone in a still-sexist world can be to liberated and post-gender. I hope one day all of us are.

hey, thanks for sending this in!

i do think it's nice to read her in that type of liberating way, especially because she does get the same treatment/"reward" as male heroes in the text. tolkien's heroes are treated in a pretty egalitarian way in the text. basically dont enjoy war too much, observe the golden rule, and do good things for other people, and boom, youre a hero, have a nice long retirement where you never have to think about war ever again

i definitely understand why her ending can feel a bit reductive (ESPECIALLY in the movies where shes not as fleshed out) because even with the internal values of the text, a woman going from being the only lady swinging a sword to married and swearing off violence definitely has a different connotation outside of tolkien's whole internal textual rights and wrongs

however, i just think shes got a cool story at the end of the day, even if you have to take off your "real world connotation" goggles for a minute (which i suspect tolkien did to write it lol)

once again thank you for your ask! and also for teaching me that you can do asks without having a tumblr! after like six years youd think id have known

[kdreamer]

Wow. This is just so well written that there are no words to even describe what I feel from reading this.

This whole chapter is so intense. I don’t even know what to feel anymore loolll. I felt like half the time I was just holding my breath because the responses from both DO and baekhyun are so real. I love how despite the fact that baekhyun and DO are blinded by anger, baekhyun still knows to protect FL. His priority is himself obviously, but he acknowledges his feelings and doesn’t hold himself back from wanting to stand up for her, other than the fact that we know all he wants is to be her but his pride and the fact that she betrayed him is holding him down. But be fr, she has been quite literally falling apart lying to him. And we all know it. I think he’s just too deep in what has just happened and his emotions for him to realise how much this has been destroying her. I mean she works for the “good guys” but she’s falling for one of the “bad guys”. Ofcourse she’s going to feel insane. It’s going against what she believed in for atleast a while now. But again she’s literally a mess and doesn’t understand her own feelings so I don’t feel horrible for her.

Kyungsoos reaction is valid. But you guys were on a break. But again his reaction is SO valid. (Can you tell I’m conflicted). Part of me hates his reaction but another part of me understands and sympathises with him. He had lost a lot from trying to catch baekhyun; his career and pride that he had in himself because of his job and now his girlfriend. Correction Ex-girlfriend. Because remember he had already lost her once when he asked for a break. It just hurts him more loosing her again bc whilst he changed his mind/regretted asking for a break and started loosing it trying to get back to her, she’d already slept with the one person he hates most.

I honestly felt horrible for all parties involved. It’s so upsetting for baekhyun because whilst DO and FL may not end up together, DO can atleast move on and find someone else. But Baekhyun is a straight up criminal and now thanks to FL he has trust issues. So it’s gonna be even harder for him to move on. What makes it worse is that now he might even DIE if he gets caught by kyungsoo. *sighs*.

And our FL. She’s a mess. A hot mess. The state of the living room after baekhyun smashed everything inside it. A tornado. A tsunami. I mean the list goes on.

She is obviously in love with kyungsoo. Hell, she started all of this BECAUSE of him. I get that she was the one to come up with the plans and everything but if my man excluded her from the very beginning they’d probs be married and have kids by now. But she did decide to do everything herself so we can only hold her accountable. I blame her for falling for baekhyun but Ngl I DONT 🤭😂😭🫣🫠🤪🤌🏼. Are you kidding me. Have you seen baekhyun. Who wouldn’t fall for that man. And now he’s a THEIF AND EX-MAFIA MEMBER. LITERALLY BYE. I was folding every time they flirted with each other, so I can only imagine what she felt. I started this as a kyungsoo biased girl, but baekhyun be bias wrecking me. *clears throat*. Sorry I had to get the inner fangurl in me out. So yeah I don’t blame her for falling for baekhyun. But I do. And OMGGG that one chapter where they’re in the hotel, baekhyun be low-key flirting with her whilst HER MAN IS STOOD IN THE SAME ROOM LISTENING TO ALL OF IT. Well he was behind the curtain- BUT ZAMN. Like I don’t know how she handled that. I woulda fainted multiple times that day bc we also got exo mafia leader SUHO??!!!! And then ofc sehuns unbothered ass pushing a gun against the lower back of FL at the trade for the diamond. Like he’s too funny. Not me laughing during that scene. How to be FL. She be living all the dreams.

Sorry- I gotta stay serious. *proceeds to continue fangurling rant* Omg the amount of times I have audibly gasPED whilst reading this ff. omg especially when FL and baekhyun fOINally did it. I was so shocked the whole time because it literally just happened so quickly.

Okay fr now. But yeah FL has been going through it. I could feel the anxiety through the screen. It stressed me out how much she loves both of the guys because again her emotions are soooooo valid. But she also chose the mess she was in. I think deep down she’s already fallen for baekhyun. And I think it happened alot earlier than we might realise. I just think she’s fallen deeper in lover with him with every moment they’ve spent together. It’s worse because she’s also in love kyungsoo at the same time, but she believes that because kyungsoo is on the right side of the law and because he’s a policeman that he’s better for her. That might be somewhat true because then atleast her life wouldn’t be at risk 24/7 like it would be with baekhyun, but I think I’ve seen so much more passion and more of an emotional connection with baekhyun. I think she sees herself in him. The part of her that used to steal, the part of her that maybe finds it difficult to be vulnerable and the part of her that saw him fall in love with her. There’s so much more depth to what they have because there’s so much more at risk. And I’m not saying that the way she went about it is right or okay, I just feel bad for her and baekhyun bc they r so in love with eachother but they just can’t be together. It’s forbidden love. Logically FL is supposed to be loyal and stay stubborn and be with kyungsoo but she can’t help what she feels for baekhyun.

Now I’m sad.

I’m so invested in this story. It’s like watching a film or drama take place in my head. This is just soooooo amazing. Anyways thanks for reading my rant. Ima finish reading this. Hopefully baekhyun doesn’t die.

Felon | 11

◇ Link to Masterlist

◇ Baekhyun & Kyungsoo series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | ?

◇ Genre: Cop! Ksoo, Criminal! Baek, Crime! AU, inspired by Dhoom 2

◇ Summary: As your life takes a dangerous turn when you get caught between a criminal and a cop, you begin to question how thin the line between good and bad really is.

◇ Word Count: 3k

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[springcatalyst]

I might be just be overly generous to hatake cause of my crush on hiroyuki sanada but my interpretation of him crying while he was bandaging julia’s eyes was him facing the reality that while yeah, his plan worked and Julia’s immortal now, he put her through a lot of pain to do it and she’s forever in danger from ilaria now only apparently not according to the finale! Which leads to even more questions! Sarah’s actress was terrible and i’m not very surprised to find out she hasn’t done much else since but she was also super pretty so i could deal with her better than like, alan and peter. I have a v basic understanding of the plot of s2 and i don’t understand why they dropped so many plot lines from s1 to focus on that instead. Did they have the audacity to think this would get multiple seasons?? Apparently it was lucky to even get that second season and by the end of it the ratings were so bad it fell below the threshold at which ratings can be tracked. Idk, I just want to shake the show creator by the shoulders and demand answers. you🤝me, complaining over a bad show that no one else has cared about in like a decade

LITERALLY. when I did my obligatory look I to the tag to find gifs to ramble under when I finished it (as is customary) it was so empty. ain't nobody care about this bitch.

I rlly like ur interpretation of that scene. I will now adopt it because YEAH and I dont know how else that would make sense. I do think he aaaalmost cares about julia kind of? so it makes sense that hes like ah but everything you've gone thru to get here and everything the future holds. but also the way he cares about anyone is so selfish and conditional I think she was just convenient and idealized.

I also think I like thinking abkut hatakes character cause hes played by hiroyuki sanada but in my defense (OUR defense)... hiroyuki sanada is actually a bangin actor and so can do the most with the shit script, as opposed to other characters which... suffered a little more.

like his story arc and character was almost good. it wasnt, but it was enough to be kind of compelling, u know? if it was done better. like hes just so selfish and hes been alive for so long that human life means nothing to him anymore and everyone is expendable until he decides he wants them around (ahem. miksa). I like how he goes from being comically apathetic to miksa to half-assedly reaching out once he starts hating him and then when he sacrifices himself!! (<-not a choice that makes sense) he goes right back to being like 'well he wasnt REALLY my son'. honestly its probably just bad writing but it's interesting to think of it like hatake only seeks miksa loyalty when he no longer has it. you know? he almost realizes what he loses and regrets it- not his actions, but being found out. also worth mentioning that he never calls him miksa except maybe once when hes trying to satiate him. even when he dies he calls him daniel, despite him telling hatake he wants to go by miksa. kind of telling for what hatake really wants from miksa, which is not a son but a sort of bodyguard and attack dog, more like a toy than a person.

dont let that make u think I think the show was good tho. that's allllllll just me reading where theres really nothin. I just like to Think. but yeah its bad.

[gaybd1]

ok so for your roomie troubles, i really think you're in the right. did yall ever make an agreement, formal or informal, that you'd stay/pay the full two years of a lease you're not on? if no, then you're literally doing nothing wrong. maybe there was a bit of a communications breakdown that neither of you realized was happening until you were moving out, but that doesn't change the fact that the breakdown seems to have started because your roomie made an assumption and didn't ask to confirm. that's on them. you told them you plan and had no reason to expect that they thought you'd changed your mind. at least that's what it sounds like. second, you're still offering to pay an extra month. that's well beyond your social commitments imo. were you strangers, I'd say drop her and let her deal, but you are at least somewhat friends, so i get the desire to help her out. but you're still helping her out here. you do not live there anymore, even after she learned you were moving, she had time to find a new roomie. with the buffer of an extra month's pay, she has even more time. hell, if she's really struggling, i can understand her asking for another month's rent portion just between friends, cuz mistakes happen and getting a roomie can be hard. but she's calling into wuestion your integrity for not continuously paying rent for a place you dont live in?? no. you did not sign the lease. you did not have an agreement that you pay for 2 years. you gave her ample warning. even with less warning, you are giving her a grace period. and in the end, YOU DO NOT LIVE THERE. she can think whatever she wants, but your integrity is not at risk for refusing to pay the rent /continuously/ for a place you do not live.

frankly i dont even care that she's married. i dont know her or her spouse's financial situation, so if she needs a roomie to pay half the rent, then whatever. regardless, she had warning. she HAS warning. she has time to find someone to move in. it sounds like she's panicked and getting defensive because she doesn't know what to do. what she should be doing is asking for help instead of throwing accusations and defamatory statements. you would not be a bad person for refusing to pay beyond that extra month, regardless of what she says. if you're worried or feel guilty, i might recommend offering to help find her a roomie, or other means of paying the rent that don't rely on you, but definitely be cautious with that route. it sounds like she's the type to try to haul responsibility off where she can, and it shouldn't be your job to fix her negligence. and even if my read on the situation is wrong, that she really is trying her hardest to get another roomie, that doesn't give her permission to blame you, or ask you to keep paying indefinitely. situation sucks, and maybe she really is trying, but if she's struggling, she should be asking you for help, not retaliating and trying to tie you to commitments that were never agreed upon

Thank you, this helps me feel a lot better. Like, I also thought I was being extra nice and generous, and the gaslighting and calling my integrity into question really had me doubting. I appreciate your thoughtful response. I’ve been trying to look at it from the standpoint of ending a lease with a landlord early. Like I gave plenty of notice, I got out, and I’m not expecting my deposit back. The extra month rent is just an extra nicety and the fact that it somehow seems expected tells me to just be finished with all this…

[sunnnfish]

Hi kiri. I can’t contain my thoughts and actions in the tags anymore so here we are.

KKKIIIIIIIIIIIRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAUAUUUUUUUUUUHHHGGGGGG started screenshotting this like it was the real goddamn book. We’re going through this piece by piece so help me god. Realized I can’t put that many screenshots so we’re just quoting This is gonna take a while huh.

“It fits with their preconceived notions, huh?”

THEMATIC preconceived notions late combined with the sentiments of concealment and controlling those preconceived notions. Etc etc

“So, they’re kind of fragile,” I observed, “even if they’re made to look nicer.”

“Well, they certainly look pretty—the bright colors can enhance how distinct the banding is, so you could argue the dye only enhances the best features of agat and other types of chalcedony, but…”

“…But?”

“Dying stones is really common for selling fakes,”

Whooole conversation about dyed agate. It was at this point I made the connection of dyed agate=dyed hair. And again combined with later discussions of beauty and concealment and enhancement. Kind of fragile, even if they look nicer. The dye enhances the best features. Dying commonly used for selling fakes. Very metaphorical. To me

dying stones felt more like concealment that enhancement. And then I remembered what I likely wasn’t meant to hear—surely that dyed agate is prettier—and reached up to my forehead.

DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THIS. THE CONCEALMENT-ENHANCEMENT MENTION BEFORE HANZAWA SHOWED UP. Surely the dyed agate is prettier. augh.

Now that we were face to face again, though, the Riga arose of university had all but disappeared from my mind, and I watched his face contort into an expression halfway between awkwardness and concert. The awkwardness was a given—I hadn’t expected to run into him either. Half the reason for his concern was a girl from my university who I’d just learned was called Kaede. And the other half of his concern—a quarter of his total expression—was in response to seeing me, who’d just been shoved into the side of a building.

…

I felt a little ill-at-ease seeing the sheer expressiveness on his face. Of course, it made sense that he’d be so frazzled, considering what had just happened to his friend, but it was uncomfortable to see his lack of composure. Like this, he looked like an ordinary, unremarkable teenager.

PUT HIM IN THE PIT god hes so just. Teenager here. He’s awkward and concerned and like. Doesnt know what to do. ALSO PUTTING IN KAEDE KIRI YOU MAD GENIUS… back to hanzawa though. So out of his depth and ill-composed. BUT THEN

Amidst the commotion, Hanzawa stayed level-headed, guiding Kaede through the motions of making a report. Even though he wasn’t a student at my university—a fact that was strangely relieving to confirm—it was like he’d gone through this process before.

IT WAS LIKE HED GONE THROUGH THIS PROCESS BEFOOOOORRREEEEE…… also seigi being relieved they dont go to the same school. Seigi being so disconcerted by hanzawas. Everything. Maybe has to do with the way seigi and tashiro are so similar and have such reactions to hanzawa. Confused and disconcerted but also very concerned. Im normal.

“Richard is—he’s almost too incredible, I think. I’m lucky to work there.”

Hanzawa considered by statement carefully, and then asked, “Is it—and I could be overstepping, here, but—is it kind of a… scary feeling?”

“No, you’re right,” I said, feeling a euphoric rush of shared understanding. “It’s—I’m happy, of course. It’s impossible not to be. But it almost makes everything else pale in comparison—“

“And you being to wonder where you’d be without it,” Hanzawa concluded, perfectly reading my mind.

I sighed. “I mean… it’s not like this will be my job forever, you know? But still, compared to going to university, whenever it’s the weekend, I feel like I’m ten times as real. Like I exist as… I don’t know, more than I am.”

“As in… you’re able to express yourself more?” Hanzawa asked.

[EXPLOSIONS AND SIRENS AND GUNSHOTS AND CAR CRASHES] AAAAAUUUUUUUGHUGYFTYDRTUIPPIOIUHGGGGGHHUUUBHBUBUUU A SCARY FEELING….. seigi who wears all that on his sleeve all his admiration and fear and well. Love. And hanzawa who does feel the same things who doesnt know what he’d do without. [redacted]. Being around this other person makes them feel more. More expressive and open and like themselves and not under layers of masks and performance. Im normal.

“I see what you mean,” he finally replied as he sipped his coffee. “In a way, Richard-san’s store feels like… a place that’s too good to be true, it could be said?”

“That’s exactly it!” I exclaimed. “And then once you meet Richard, it’s like… he’s a fairy prince or something that’s descended on the mortal world…”

Hanzawa fell into a sudden coughing fit.

…

“How nice…” It was impossible not to hear the wistful edge in Hanzawa’s voice. He seemed to hear it too, because he added, “Well, I do wish you two the best,” with a knowing smile.

Hanzawa taking so much psychic damage from seigi. Boys we got another one who thinks Richard and seigi are for real dating and/or married and/or deeply in love. Also the way he lets that wistful edge out and quickly keeps going to like. Cover it up.

But I’d always thought of it as… having something to hide, I guess.” I felt like a fool as soon as the words left my mouth.

“Well,” Hanzawa said, still low and quiet, “I suppose we are aiming to hide that bruise of yours. But there is value even in concealment, I think.” A wry smile graced his mouth.

Their entire conversations about makeup and concealment and enhancement im for real going crazy does anybody want anything. There’s value in concealment. Covering up bruises and cuts and scars. Something that’s not supposed to be there.

“…Don’t people also value the truth, though?” I asked.

The shade Hanzawa had tested was far darker than it had looked in the tube. He paused over my hand, and without lifting his head, said, “Perhaps I’m being cynical… but I think most people only value the truth when it is beautiful.” He paused to dab a different concealer on my hand. “I don’t think you’re wrong—people do value authenticity. That’s exactly why so many makeup advertisements discuss how to achieve a natural look, or how to enhance your natural features by smoothing out ‘imperfections’… we’ve defined a kind of beauty that is meant to emulate reality but that doesn’t mean it is reality.”

It’s so over for me. Even down to the shade looked far darker than it looked in the tube. The way things are presented to the world hiding a darker shade inside. Who knows if that part was on purpose but it WORKS. People only value truth when its beautiful. Striving for fake authenticity. The “natural look.” Im very disjointed right now i just keep rereading and like. ITS ALL CONNECTED YKNOW. AND METAPHORICAL. AND SO SO SO GOOD. Smooth out imperfections. Look natural in a way thats too good to be true. It’s so OVER for ME

“A few things, I think,” Hanzawa said. “You’re both… open to many new experiences,” Though the fondness in his voice was palpable, it was deeply careful, like he was letting me know the shades of some terrible secret.

“You don’t find them exciting?”

“And equally likely to be hurtful,” he rebutted, though not aggressively.

[SIRENS AND EXPLOSIONS AND CAR CRASHES AND GUNSHOTS] hey kiri did you know you’ve somehow created the perfect blend of the jeweler Richard and ssmy light novel writing styles. Like. Kghr light novel “It’s not like i was going to say anything terrible.” And then like. I could not pinpoint or describe what makes this also feel like jeweler Richard but just trust me. The fondness in his voice was palpable[EXPLODES]

“The kind of people that do are amazing to me,” Hanzawa said. “Whether it’s simply a matter of liking it or wanting to be deviant from the norm—I think there’s a great strength in accepting oneself as anomalous.”

TITLE NAME DROP !!!! And the way hes dancing around queer themes like ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh[explodes]

…Was it really because of his older sister that he’d learned how to do makeup? Or was that just the easiest explanation?

The way this line kinda shifted my entire worldview just a bit. Messed with my molecules. Was that just the easiest explanation……. Thats so so real

Okay im out of direct quotes now just general thoughts. 1) REALLY REALLY GOOD as i said before it’s just a perfect blend of ssmy and jeweler Richard writing styles and like your own like its unreal. 2) everything else. The beginning section with tanimoto and her entire personality and explanations are sooo good. Also the metamorphism explanation was like. Not like. funny but just like enjoyable due to the poll you did. Like yeah ive heard the word and remember learning it was about rocks but i did not know the specifics. Thank you tanimoto. And kiri.

And again fitting in Kaede so naturally like oh my god. And the everything with hanzawa. His discomfort and concern at his friend being harassed and his curiosity about seigi and inviting him out and like the general way you describe him is sooooooo. Like. The way he curls his fingers around his cups looking so loose that the cup should just slip right out. Long fingers and trimmed nails. The way he cant hide the emotion in his voice. The way he speaks so metaphorically about everything. And SEIGIS whole reactions and thoughts about everything. The way he picks up on things and internalizes them but doesn’t really point them out. Just. Really really good. My god. And youre telling me theres gonna be MORE…… kiri this series is going to kill me dead i swear. Peace and love on planet earth i love you.

the anomalous agate (part two)

now: here's what some of you actually wanted to see yesterday.

a quick rundown for anyone who has no idea what this is: here's ch 1 on tumblr and ao3. I posted an updated version of ch 1 yesterday that flows a bit nicer, and recommend checking that out if you haven't already.

and, while it's even less necessary to do, consider checking this post out, too. the context in which it was written is kind of... irrelevant to this fic, honestly, but it provides a bit of background that I think enhances some of what's going on in this chapter and the next one (that I haven't written yet).

with that out of the way, this chapter is over 7k, so here's the ao3 link if you prefer. (there's also a bit of a longer author's note there at the end) if you'd like to stick to tumblr, follow me under the cut.

case 2-x: the anomalous agate (part two)

Even the usually oblivious Tanimoto-san noticed my listless mood in the following days. It wasn’t unusual for me to worry or speculate about my clients—everyone who stepped into Richard’s store certainly had some kind of interesting quality, but something about Hanzawa tugged oddly at my chest.

To complicate matters, I was pretty sure I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. Richard had spent Sunday carrying on as usual, but every once in a while, he’d drift into his thoughts and his brows would furrow like something was bothering him. This wasn’t a trait unique to Hanzawa’s presence, but this was possibly the first time I’d seen Richard look genuinely unsettled instead of troubled.

It wasn’t an expression I liked seeing on his face.

“Seigi-kun, you seem deep in thought,” Tanimoto-san said. “Something on your mind?” 

Class had ended. I flipped aimlessly through the pages of the book on gemstones I’d borrowed from Richard before tucking it into my bag. Somehow, I didn’t quite feel as if I could meet her eyes. “You mentioned there were many gems that did heat treatment, right?” I asked as we began to shuffle out of the classroom. 

She responded with less cheer than usual, and I felt dejected to be the cause. “Oh, yes… not just corundum,” she said. “Beryl and quartz, too. That encompasses a large quantity of jewels which are just named as different forms of these materials, really… heat treatment is used often to change their color. Apart from deepening the red of a ruby, there’s aquamarine—a type of beryl—which is most commonly green-blue. Heat treatment tends to enhance the blue color and really give it that expected ‘aqua’ color. One of the most dramatic transformations, to me, is amethyst—it can turn a deep orange when it’s treated with heat.” 

“Ah—I saw that last weekend,” I said. “It’s meant to mimic citrines, right?”

“Citrines tend to be a paler yellow, actually,” Tanimoto-san said. “But they’re rare—especially ones with a deep orange color. That’s why heat-treatment of amethysts is so common.” She sighed, gaze drifting off in space as we headed to her next class. “When we think of the term ‘citrus,’ the first thing that comes to mind is often an orange, despite the variety of citrus fruits in other colors. Sometimes I wonder if that’s the reason people mistake amethysts for citrine so easily.” 

“It fits with their preconceived notions, huh?” I said, earning an approving nod from Tanimoto-san. “I still remember what you said before—about wanting to appreciate the stones as they were without heat treatment. I thought that was a really beautiful idea.”

She smiled. “I’m glad you think so, Seigi-kun,” she said. We came to a halt in front of her next classroom, but she didn’t go inside just yet. “But we’d talked about this already… is there something else you wanted to ask me?” 

I swallowed around an uncomfortable bit of air. We were early for her class—it wasn’t a particularly long walk from classroom to classroom, but I liked spending time with her—but she usually went directly inside. It’s so nice of her to take time out of her day to worry about me, I thought. But again, I knew that I must have been really out of sorts for her to notice. 

“It was just mentioned in passing,” I said at her prompting, “But… well, a client was discussing agate, and I heard that some of them were dyed. Is that a common process?” 

Her expression immediately soured. For a minute I thought I’d stepped on some kind of conversational landmine, but though she looked unhappy, she spoke without malice. “It’s—not uncommon, no. Agate is porous, so it absorbs dye well, as do any stones like it.” I could see her turning over her words with care. “But… while heat treatment is an irreversible process, dyeing tends to be less effective. The color can fade over time, especially under sunlight, and it may not stain evenly. And depending on what dye is used, it can be removed with solvents like acetone… so it’s a process that’s much less certain.” 

“So, they’re kind of fragile,” I observed, “even if they’re made to look nicer.” 

“Well, they certainly look pretty—the bright colors can enhance how distinct the banding is, so you could argue the dye only enhances the best features of agate and other types of chalcedony, but…” 

“…But?” 

“Dyeing stones is really common for selling fakes,” she said. “And well—I just think that’s inexcusable, to conceal the truth like that. Even though dyed stones can be detected, that’s usually only after they’re sold, right? And this often happens with online purchases, so… I can’t help but feel resentful.” She frowned. “And every time I’ve traveled to see something related to rocks, the gift shop always carried those tumbled and dyed stones! It’s hard to find anything else…” 

“That must be tough,” I said, though it was hard to suppress a smile at the thought of Tanimoto-san scowling in the middle of a gift shop. She usually seemed so magnanimous, and it was nice to see that she had her weak points, too. 

She pouted. “I know it’s a petty reason, okay!” she said. A touch more melancholy, she added, “But every time I see them, I want to stand up and yell at everyone that rocks and minerals are more interesting than that, because it feels like these polished stones and other kinds of jewels are the only kind of beauty that people care about. For all kinds of rocks and minerals… I don’t think they possess a beauty that is just skin-deep. But when you limit the conversation to just rocks, because they look so different, the interests just don’t overlap…” She glanced up at me, seemed to realize that the type of person she was talking about was right next to her, and hurried to clarify. “Ah—I didn’t mean that as a strike against you though, Seigi-kun.” 

“No, I totally understand,” I quickly reassured her. “I mean, in an ideal world, that’s how we want to think of other people, too, right? Without judging based on the outside alone. And I think anyone would want to share their interest with more people. So, if what you like is rarer, or unappreciated, it feels sad, right?” 

“Right,” Tanimoto-san said. She smiled. “…I really am glad we get to talk about gemstones. I always feel like I end up hearing something interesting.” 

Not for the first time, I thought that Tanimoto-san was some kind of angel. I truly didn’t have any questions about rocks to reciprocate with, except— “There’s a few rocks that do count as gemstones, right?” I asked. “Like lapis lazuli.” 

“You remembered!” Tanimoto-san exclaimed. “Lapis lazuli’s a particularly special rock, you know,” she said, a gleam in her eyes. “Historically, it was used to make this very expensive blue paint…” 

“Ah—ultramarine, right?” 

“Exactly!” Tanimoto-san said, clapping her hands in excitement. “Seems like you’re already an expert on it, Seigi-kun.” 

“I just heard it in passing,” I explained sheepishly. “That customer from before—he and my boss talked about ultramarine for a bit.” I paused to recollect the various times I’d spotted the stone in Jewelry Étranger. “Though, the stone looks so unbelievable to me on its own that it feels strange to think it would ever be used for paint…”  

“It is one of the beauties of metamorphism,” Tanimoto-san agreed. Or at least, I was assuming she was. 

“Sorry, but… what exactly is metamorphism again?” I asked. “I feel like I’ve heard the term before, and I just don’t remember.” 

Despite the various expressions I’d put on her face today and in all the other conversations we’d had, this was the first time I’d ever seen Tanimoto-san look truly dumbfounded. It took me a while to even realize that was the expression on her face, until she cleared her throat and said, “I guess you said yourself you didn’t know much about rocks, but… well, I thought this was common knowledge, and maybe it… isn’t?” Worriedly, like she’d just learned she was privy to a secret for which she hadn’t voluntarily been made a confidant, she asked, “I mean, everyone knows that the three common classifications of rocks are sedimentary, igneous, and metamorphic, right?”  

“…That rings a bell?” I said unconvincingly. 

Her eyes flickered towards the classroom—she had only a few minutes before her next class started, so I imagined she would head inside, but instead she squared her shoulders, formed a distinctly “Golgo” look on her face, and said, “Well—metamorphic rocks are basically a type of rock that’s actually a combination of other rocks and minerals. So that’s how lapis lazuli has that beautiful gold coloring—it comes from the pyrite that’s part of the rock. The main blue comes from lazurite, but there’s many more mineral components that are mixed in with an average lapis lazuli.” 

“And metamorphism is how these rocks form?” 

“Right,” Tanimoto-san said. “Basically, they’re put under a lot of heat and pressure, and because of that, the composition of the rock ends up changing—so, for lapis lazuli, all these separate things fuse—or the crystal structure shifts, which is a kind of complicated thing to explain… But by the end, the new rock is distinct when compared to the simple sum of its parts. Something like marble or slate… you wouldn’t call simply a combination of other things, right?” 

“I would never have known unless you told me… that’s amazing,” I marveled. “In a way… it’s kind of nature’s own heat treatment, huh?” 

“That’s true,” Tanimoto-san said. “Just one without any motivation.”

This was something that had always fascinated me regarding jewels. Of course, it was untrue that they existed without human involvement. But before any human had laid eyes upon it, lapis lazuli had always been that brilliant combination of blue and gold. That, to me, was something like a miracle.

“You must have had an interesting customer this week, right?” Tanimoto-san guessed.

I shook myself out of my thoughts. “What?” 

“Well, Seigi-kun, you’re always curious,” she said, “So maybe it’s nothing. But this time you look like you really want to say something to someone.” She tapped the space between her brows. “Don’t let it give you wrinkles, though!” 

With that, she hurried into class, taking her seat just a few seconds before the professor began her lecture. I was left standing dumbly in the hallway, stuck with my swirling thoughts. Though I’d glossed over it at first, I supposed I was of the same mind as Tanimoto-san; dyeing stones felt more like concealment than enhancement. And then I remembered what I likely wasn’t meant to hear—surely that dyed agate is prettier—and reached up to my forehead.

Sure enough, I was frowning. I wanted to pull out my phone and text Richard something along the lines of This is your fault, but that would be truly nonsensical, and really, what I wanted wasn’t to assign something like blame. But since I couldn’t just run to him, I decided to follow Tanimoto-san’s advice and smooth out my expression. 

———

“Ah… Nakata-san?”

Richard had said that most serendipitous encounters were just a natural consequence of learning more about the world, but I was pretty sure this situation was the exclusive work of strange fortune. Though I doubted this surprise encounter would go as badly as the last one had, the sharp sense of déjà vu kept me wary.

Still, I inhaled a breath of crisp morning air, and replied, “It’s alright to call me Seigi.”

I was looking up at the face of Hanzawa Masato, who truthfully had been the furthest thing from my mind in the past few days. That space in my brain had been usurped and summarily overwhelmed by the tedium of classes and assignments. If I had to learn how to draw another kind of economic model using another set of conditions and parameters, my head was going to burst. In fact, my head ached at the thought alone.

Now that we were face to face again, though, the rigamarole of university had all but disappeared from my mind, and I watched his face contort into an expression halfway between awkwardness and concern. The awkwardness was a given—I hadn’t expected to run into him either. Half the reason for his concern was a girl from my university who I’d just learned was called Kaede. And the other half of his concern—a quarter of his total expression—was in response to seeing me, who’d just been shoved into the side of a building.

Maybe that was the reason my head ached. It was certainly the reason I was sitting down and staring up at him.

“Are you okay?” Kaede fretted. She had sunk into a worried crouch in front of me, hands hovering around my head like she could divine the nature of my injuries. 

I pressed a hand to my cheek, which was stinging, but didn’t feel scraped, and hauled myself upright. Any dizziness I’d felt had faded, and though one of my arms felt numb, I’d gotten worse injuries doing karate. “I’m fine,” I said. “It’s just a surface-level injury. Probably looks worse than it is. Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine—not a scratch!” she reported, standing up to demonstrate her lack of injury. “I had no idea he would do that, though. I’m so sorry—” 

“Don’t be,” I cut in before she could self-flagellate. “It’s not your fault at all.” 

Were I feeling charitable, I’d point out that I didn’t think the guy in question had even meant to push me into a wall—he’d just meant to push me and bolt. But he was also the kind of asshole that cornered people against the side of a building, so I wasn’t going to defend him in the slightest. 

“What happened?” Hanzawa asked.

I felt a little ill-at-ease seeing the sheer expressiveness on his face. Of course, it made sense that he’d be so frazzled, considering what had just happened to his friend, but it was uncomfortable to see his lack of composure. Like this, he looked like an ordinary, unremarkable teenager.

Kaede wrung her hands, stumbling through her words. “I—you know that senior who was bothering me? Well, he cornered me, and we started arguing, and then”—she gestured in my direction—“he hit him and ran away.” 

“I heard shouting, so I came over here,” I added when Hanzawa looked to me for further explanation.

It was really as simple as that. After exiting a horrendously early class, I’d heard arguing near the shadowed side of the building. And once I’d seen Kaede telling the other guy to leave her alone, I’d intervened without hesitation. He’d started aggressively posturing at me before shoving me to the side and running away.

The sharp spike of adrenaline I’d felt at the time was now wearing off, and my injuries began to twinge. I took a deep breath, and in an effort not to dash after the guy, I suggested, “We should make a report or something.” 

“Oh, right,” Kaede said, fishing out her phone. “There’s like… campus administration or something, right? Let me find out wherever it’s located.” She paused in thought. “Wait… do you two know each other?” 

“We just met by coincidence once,” I said, figuring that Hanzawa would value his privacy.

It was enough of an answer for Kaede, who just laughed and said, “Masato-kun knows, like, everyone, so it’s not really a surprise!” 

I was relieved to see that she didn’t seem too shaken by everything.

Soon enough, we were pointed the way of campus authorities, and I learned the full story while Kaede made her report. Apparently, this guy had been bothering her for a while after they’d met at a mixer—he’d seen her waiting to meet up with Hanzawa, and then blown up at her when she declined to spend time with him. Since he already had quite a few conduct violations on his record, the administration assured us that they’d act quickly. 

Their urgency might have also been prompted by the blatant injury on my face. Every time someone turned to face me, they would reflexively wince at the circle of reddened skin on my cheek. I’d seen it in a mirror while getting my injuries checked out—I was officially deemed concussion-free, which was a relief—and had flinched at my own reflection in surprise.

Amidst the commotion, Hanzawa stayed level-headed, guiding Kaede through the motions of making a report. Even though he wasn’t a student at my university—a fact which was strangely relieving to confirm—it was like he’d gone through this process before. I thought he’d escort Kaede home, too, but once everything had been squared away, she called some of her university friends to pick her up. They arrived with a slew of inventive insults that seemed to cheer Kaede up in an instant. She thanked me again as we swapped numbers, and then she waved us goodbye as she was whisked away by her friends. 

“You’re not going with her?” I asked. 

“Her other friends will be much better at taking her mind off things,” he said. “Besides, they all go to your university, so they can accompany her during classes.” He turned to face me as he spoke, and though he didn’t wince, his gaze lingered on my cheek.

“I’m alright,” I said. “I even got an ice pack when we were making the report.”  

“Still…” Hanzawa said. Hesitantly, he asked, “Could I treat you to lunch? Or a coffee?” 

The sun was high in the sky. On one hand, I wasn’t particularly hungry, but coffee sounded nice, and I didn’t have classes until later this evening. On the other hand, Hanzawa looked like he was already regretting the offer.

But Tanimoto-san was right; I had a few things I wanted to say to him. And despite his hesitation, it looked like Hanzawa felt the same. 

“Sure,” I said. “You can pick the place.” 

———

Hanzawa’s coffee order was a little more complicated than mine. Hearing him rattle off his order made me realize that Richard was right to only offer tea at his shop. The café he’d picked out was like many of the other cafés I’d been to—peaceful, atmospheric, and a neutral ground for conversations. Once we’d taken our seats, we each waited in a brittle kind of silence.

Hanzawa began to fiddle with his phone, and I took it as a clear indication he wasn’t ready to talk. My coffee arrived first, so I savored it while gazing through one of the café windows. Outside, the weather had snapped into a bitter frost, as it seemed wont to do whenever I wasn’t looking. I shivered a little—even inside the temperature-regulated café, I’d dressed a little lightly for the cold—and let the coffee’s steam curl against my skin. Though I couldn’t call myself a connoisseur, I’d begun to appreciate coffee for more than its caffeine. 

It was just one more thing I’d learned how to treasure since I’d met Richard. Thinking of him, I reflexively touched my face. We weren’t anywhere near Ginza, but I could imagine the shop’s entrance in front of me as I stared out the window.

“Is there something you’re worried about?” 

I started, noting that Hanzawa’s coffee had appeared between his hands. He held the cup strangely, his fingers curled around the sides without any pressure; I worried that it might slip from his fingers if he tried to lift it. Still, the pose seemed so natural for him that I wondered if he’d held the tea at Jewelry Étranger the same way, and I just hadn’t noticed. Like that time, any initial hesitation of his had melted away into a self-assured grace.

“I was just thinking…” I replied, tapping my reddened skin, “it’s going to bruise.” 

“Ah,” Hanzawa said. His eyes darted around the room—he could probably sense the curious looks I’d gotten, too, but that wasn’t my main concern. “You’re worried about your weekend work, I assume?” 

“No, it’s—actually, yeah, I am,” I said, cutting off my instinctive denial. First Tanimoto-san, and now Hanzawa… I wondered if my face was just becoming easier to read. 

“I doubt a bruised face is good for customer service,” he added, clarifying exactly where my thoughts had headed.

I explained, “I’d rather not scare the customers, and it’s something I’ve done even without my face like this, so…”

“That would be troubling,” Hanzawa said. “I’d apologize for the situation, but…”

“There’s no need for apologies,” I stressed. “You and Kaede already thanked me, and there’s no need to apologize for someone else’s mistakes.”

Still holding the cup as if it were air, Hanzawa slowly sipped his coffee. My attention was drawn to his fingers, which were exceptionally long, and neatly trimmed at the nails. “I’m glad you think so, Seigi—it’s alright to call you that, yes?” When I nodded, he set his cup down and made a confession: “I’m not entirely without ulterior motives, though—it’s not every day you meet someone with your job, you know? I like hearing from interesting people, so this is just me indulging in my curiosity, really. What was the application process like?”

“Ah… I didn’t quite apply,” I answered. Maybe I’d just developed a streak of cynicism, but I didn’t believe that he had invited me to coffee out of pure curiosity. I briefly imagined someone taking my place—making tea, talking with Richard, and learning about our clients—and felt a wave a jealousy so strong that I added, “I don’t really think he’s looking to hire anyone new…” 

Hanzawa laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m just asking out of curiosity. I’m not looking for a job right now.”  

“Ah,” I said, and drank some of my coffee to cover my embarrassment. “Anyways, even when we first met, I don’t think he was looking to hire anyone.”

“Is that so?” Hanzawa asked, a clear prompt for me elaborate.

I had no desire to do so. Instead, I was distracted by the thought of Hanzawa as an employee of Jewelry Étranger. He seemed like he would excel at any job related to customer service, particularly when it came to making conversation. Even now, though I was conscious of the fact that he was leading the conversation, it didn’t bother me. But he wouldn’t know what sweets Richard liked best, or how to watch his expressions to figure out if he was enjoying them. And he wouldn’t know how to brew royal milk tea—not that I’d known that, either…

“I approached him about a family heirloom of mine, and he offered me a job afterwards,” I finally summed up.

Thankfully, Hanzawa didn’t pry any further. “I can see why,” he said. “Something about you must have been unique enough to convince him, right?” 

“…You think so?” I asked, ducking my head. It was amazing how one word—unique—was enough to dispel my worries. Saying I had a talent for recognizing beauty—that already made me feel like the most special person in the world. The implication that Richard recognizing that had been a testament to my uniqueness was unbelievably flustering. Rather than think about it for too long, I downed my coffee. 

“I just thought that if he wasn’t looking to hire someone,” Hanzawa said, “it means that you must have been important enough to ask for, anyways. The atmosphere at your store would make one think you two had been friends for years.” 

I felt warmer than usual. “I just… guess we aligned somehow,” I murmured, feeling a need to deflect the compliment. As much as I privately liked to think of our meeting as “fate,” hearing it from a veritable stranger was something else. “Richard is—he’s almost too incredible, I think. I’m lucky to work there.” 

Hanzawa considered my statement carefully, and then asked, “Is it—and I could be overstepping, here, but—is it kind of a… scary feeling?” 

“No, you’re right,” I said, feeling a euphoric rush of shared understanding. “It’s—I’m happy, of course. It’s impossible not to be. But it almost makes everything else pale in comparison—” 

“And you begin to wonder where you’d be without it,” Hanzawa concluded, perfectly reading my mind.

I sighed. “I mean… it’s not like this will be my job forever, you know? But still, compared to going to university, whenever it’s the weekend, I feel like I’m ten times as real. Like I exist as… I don’t know, more than I am.” 

“As in… you’re able to express yourself more?” Hanzawa asked. 

I shook my head. “No, it’s like… I’m a more impressive person, even though nothing about me changes,” I said. “It feels like my actions have more meaning. And my world keeps expanding, each time.” When he didn’t respond, still wrapping his head around my words, I added, “…It might be a bit strange to blabber on and on about my job satisfaction. But I really think that being able to work where I do is a miracle of some kind.” 

“I see what you mean,” he finally replied as he sipped his coffee. “In a way, Richard-san’s store feels like… a place that’s too good to be true, it could be said?” 

“That’s exactly it!” I exclaimed. “And then once you meet Richard, it’s like… he’s a fairy prince or something that’s descended on the mortal world…” 

Hanzawa fell into a sudden coughing fit. 

I scrambled out of my seat, but he weakly waved me off, and so I stood over the table, watching him regain control of his throat. “Are you alright?” 

He took a few deep breaths. “I’m fine,” he said, though he looked obviously embarrassed as he met my eyes. “I was just—taken off guard, I guess. You must really respect Richard-san. Have you… told him this?” 

With a new understanding as to why Kaede had so uselessly hovered around me, I slipped back into my own seat. “Well, of course,” I said slowly, wondering what I wasn’t getting. “I needed to express my gratitude to him.” 

Hanzawa stared up at the ceiling like he’d received some kind of divine revelation. “And he reacted… well?” he ventured. 

I suddenly remembered the many, many times Richard had scolded me for speaking without considering the implications, and I grimaced. “I’m not great with words, so I’ve definitely put my foot in my mouth a few times, but… sincerity is worth the embarrassment, I think,” I said, refraining from adding that I liked to think it was at least part of the reason he’d hired me. “And, though he’s annoyingly mysterious sometimes, he’s sincere to me, too.” 

“How nice…” It was impossible not to hear the wistful edge in Hanzawa’s voice. He seemed to hear it too, because he added, “Well, I do wish you two the best,” with a knowing smile. 

It wasn’t hard to pick up on the distance in his voice. Despite talking about Richard and the shop, Hanzawa hadn’t once mentioned his own visit or his upcoming appointment.

Before I could prod him about it, Hanzawa cleared his throat and asked, “You’ve finished your coffee?”

I looked down at my cup, which had been empty for quite a while. “Yeah,” I said, bracing for a quick goodbye.

A strange look passed over Hanzawa’s face as he drained his cup, and he set it down on the table with a soft clink. His gaze moved sideways—I followed his line of sight, but it led nowhere. “If—if the bruising is a problem,” Hanzawa haltingly began, “I could… I might have a solution.” 

The words looked painful for him to say. “You’re already treating me to coffee,” I assured. “There’s no need to do me another favor.” 

He shook his head, firmer. “This… as I said, this was kind of a selfish request, anyways. If you’re willing, I’d be happy to help.” 

I wasn’t about to turn down the chance to hear him talk. Maybe, if I gathered enough courage, I’d even be able to ask him about dyed stones. “Well… what did you have in mind?” 

———

Much like the first time I’d visited the jewelry section of a department store, I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. This time, it wasn’t at the sight of diamonds as far as the eye could see, but of the bright lights, glossy photos, and shelves upon shelves of products I wasn’t sure how to name. I half-recognized some of the brand names scattered around the store, but otherwise felt wholly out of my depth. 

Were it not for the presence of a guide, I’d have never come here. But Hanzawa was shifting his feet next to me, a skittish look in his eyes like he was convinced I’d back out at any moment. That was the same way he’d broached the subject, too, saying, “Well… you could probably cover that bruise with makeup,” in a tone so soft I’d barely heard him.

“How?” I’d asked, pouncing on the option a little too eagerly. 

Hanzawa drummed his fingers against his empty cup. “It’s pretty easy,” he said. “I could teach you, but we’d have to buy some products, because we don’t have the same skin tone.” He mulled over his next words.

“There’s a department store near here,” I offered. 

At that, he seemed to relax. “My older sister is really into makeup and costuming,” he said with a light laugh, “so I ended up being forced into knowing a few things myself.”

Things moved quickly after that. He paid for my coffee, and I followed him to the nearest department store before he could have too many second thoughts. It wasn’t like I didn’t understand his hesitation—we were still practically strangers, and this was an offer that required considerable involvement on his part. Still, more than anything, I didn’t want to skip work. And as little as I knew Hanzawa, he seemed like the kind of person who would never suggest something that wasn’t an actual solution. 

“You’ll have to lead the way,” I finally prompted.

Hanzawa paused and corrected his posture. “Right,” he said, picked up a basket near the entrance, and then struck a path through the various displays, waving off staff with a polite, inscrutable smile. 

For all he’d been hesitant, Hanzawa navigated the store with a brilliant kind of confidence. Apart from the two of us, there were barely any men in the store, but Hanzawa didn’t look out of place in the slightest. Soon enough we were left to wander around unapproached. 

Finally, we came to a stop in front of a display that carried a variety of tubes in a variety of skin tones. Hanzawa leaned forward to inspect them, and I caught sight of the barely visible piercing holes in his ears.

“You’re not wearing earrings,” I observed. 

He answered me without turning his head. “I suppose it’s a leftover habit from high school,” he said thoughtfully. “I didn’t wear them in class, because—well, it’s a bit of a delinquent look, and I was the president of the disciplinary club.”

That explained why he’d been so composed when helping Kaede earlier. I wonder if he’d acquired that sense of reliability from his time in the club, or if had been the reason he’d joined. “What… am I supposed to get, here?” I asked, pointing at the display.

“To cover your bruise, we’ll need concealer, foundation, and a setting spray, probably? So right now, we’re looking for foundations that match your skin tone. What color do you usually bruise?” 

“…Purple, I guess?” 

“Then we’ll get a yellow color corrector to offset it,” Hanzawa said, plucking a foundation from the shelf. He held it up to the light—the color was kind of close to my skin, I supposed, but there were a lot that looked just like it. 

“How are you supposed to figure out the right color?” I asked. 

“Oh—you can sample it,” Hanzawa said, and he motioned for me to hold my hand out. We swatched various foundations on the back of my hand as Hanzawa explained to me the basic methodology for covering a bruise. The color corrector would negate the purple hues of my bruise, concealer would properly cover it up with my actual skin tone, and foundation would provide a smooth cover that blended with the rest of my face. The setting spray was just to make sure everything held for the entire time I was working. “You’ll probably want makeup brushes, too,” Hanzawa said as he explained how to apply everything. “We can buy some, or I could maybe lend you mine…” 

I could see him trying to work out how to lend me makeup brushes in a way that wouldn’t require an additional meeting. “No, I’ll get one of my own,” I said. 

“You sure?” he asked. 

I nodded. “It’s kind of weird to say this, but… somehow, I feel like this may not be the last time I need something like this?” 

Satisfied with the last foundation we’d tried, Hanzawa showed me how to remove all the makeup on my hand before leading me to another display. There he found a standard set of makeup brushes and gingerly placed it into his basket. “Well, I suppose you do lead quite an exciting life,” he commented. 

“This is the first time I’ve gotten injured,” I said. “But there are a lot of interesting people at Richard’s shop, so I guess I do end up having interesting experiences.” I paused. Like this, actually, I didn’t say, and instead asked, “You mentioned your older sister taught you this?” 

“It’s not really that I was taught,” Hanzawa clarified. “It was more like… a natural consequence of existing around her? I ended up knowing a lot of the terminology, and I’d get dragged to places like these, too. At that point, you have to at least learn the basics.” 

I’d never had a sibling before, so I wondered if it was natural for everyone to pick up skills from their family like this. With my mother, we’d always maintained a certain sense of distance, and with my stepfather overseas, the only one who could maybe qualify as family was Richard. Who I had, indeed, learned a lot from. “And you learned more on your own, afterwards?” 

“Well, at my high school, our cultural festival holds a cross-dressing competition each year—it was an all-boys school, hence the tradition—and I ended up learning a bit more because of that. One of my classmates actually attends cosmetology school, now, which is where I learned how to do this.” He gestured in the direction of my reddened cheek. 

I reached up on instinct, suddenly conscious of the fact that I was walking around with such an obvious injury. I’d attributed the stares of passerby to the fact that I looked out of place in a makeup store, but this was probably the real reason.

Hanzawa studied my face, and his tone gentled. “It’s been a valuable skill to me,” he murmured. “Makeup gives us the ability to beautify.” 

Hand still pressed against my cheek, I confessed, “I’d never really thought of it that way, before. Though I don’t really know anything, really. But I’d always thought of it as… having something to hide, I guess.” I felt like a fool as soon as the words left my mouth.

“Well,” Hanzawa said, still low and quiet, “I suppose we are aiming to hide that bruise of yours. But there is value even in concealment, I think.” A wry smile graced his mouth. “Speaking of.” 

We’d lingered for too long in one place, and so we moved to collect a bottle of setting spray and a pale-yellow color corrector before stopping to search through a row of concealers. As we compared various shades on my hand, I recalled the conversation I’d had with Richard about tiramisu.

“…Don’t people also value the truth, though?” I asked. 

The shade Hanzawa had tested was far darker than it had looked in the tube. He paused over my hand, and without lifting his head, said, “Perhaps I’m being cynical… but I think most people only value the truth when it is beautiful.” He paused to dab a different concealer on my hand. “I don’t think you’re wrong—people do value authenticity. That’s exactly why so many makeup advertisements discuss how to achieve a natural look, or how to enhance your natural features by smoothing out ‘imperfections’… we’ve defined a kind of beauty that is meant to emulate reality, but that doesn’t mean it is reality.”

Though I couldn’t see his expression, I could hear the raw sincerity in his voice. Something clicked into place, and I realized that for Hanzawa, enhancement was the same as concealment.

“The kinds of beauty we recognize are usually just skin-deep, huh…” I said, echoing the conversation I’d had with Tanimoto-san.

“And everyone prefers to be beautiful,” Hanzawa said.

Yamamoto-san, too, had thought that beauty was a great advantage. “Doesn’t beauty come with its own disadvantages, though?” I asked. At Hanzawa’s curious look, I paraphrased how Richard had described his own experiences. “Like, if you’re so beautiful that people think you’re unapproachable, isn’t that hard?”

“I suppose so,” Hanzawa said. “You’re talking about a kind of… unreal beauty, right? Like your boss.”

“Ah… was it obvious?”

Hanzawa smiled. “A little.” He hummed for a bit in thought, and then said, “In either direction, I think there’s a fear of… standing out, or looking odd. That’s why we’re here. Though I suppose there might be some people who have enough pride to eschew standards.”

The shade he’d just tried was a perfect match. “When you put it that way… there’s definitely times I don’t want to say everything about myself,” I conceded, remembering how I’d felt when confronted by Mami-san’s deep, uncomfortable sense of shame. “Having that kind of pride is… an ideal, but just that.” As much as Richard liked to ask if I had ever decided to think before I spoke, I, too, had things I found hard to say. 

“That’s everything, I think,” Hanzawa said, adding the concealer to the basket. “I’ve got makeup wipes with me, so you can just have them. Since we’re here, though, do you mind if I make a quick detour?” 

“Go ahead,” I said, and Hanzawa drifted through the store at a leisurely pace, inspecting different products. I took the time to observe the various advertisements pasted around the store, noting that Hanzawa’s description hadn’t been incorrect. Then I observed the array of colors scattered around the store as Hanzawa inspected different kinds of eyeshadow. “I guess blue is rare here, too.” 

“Hm?” 

“I was just reminded of ultramarine,” I said, pointing towards the overwhelming set of pinks and reds in a collection of lipsticks. “It was prized not just because the stone was precious, but because blue was a rare pigment color, right?”

“…Lapis lazuli sure was a precious stone,” Hanzawa replied. “In addition to blue’s rarity, I’d think it would be hard to collect pieces without significant gold spots. When ground into pigment, those colors would muddy the blue. If one needed to source pure blue lapis lazuli for ultramarine, that would only further increase its rarity and value.” 

 “Wait, are you majoring in economics?” I blurted out, a little bewildered by the clarity of his explanation.

Distracted from his inspection of an eyeshadow palette, Hanzawa turned to squint at me, bemused. “No, I’m not,” he said. “Are you?”

“I am, yeah.” I floundered, wondering how to explain that for just a moment, Hanzawa had reminded me of Richard. Maybe he was training to be a diplomat—that would explain why even when he spoke casually, every word felt measured. He was certainly better at speaking than me, who couldn’t figure out how to casually ask him what he was actually majoring in.

At my lost expression, Hanzawa laughed and went back to searching through eyeshadows. “…You actually remind me of someone I know.”

“How so?” 

“A few things, I think,” Hanzawa said. “You’re both… open to many new experiences.” Though the fondness in his voice was palpable, it was deeply careful, like he was letting me know the shades of some terrible secret.

“You don’t find them exciting?” 

“And equally likely to be hurtful,” he rebutted, though not aggressively. 

Hanzawa took my answering silence as agreement—which it partially was—and continued looking around the store. Conscious of the time we’d spent wandering, he explained, “The color I’m looking for is uncommon. Eyeshadows have more variety than lipsticks do, but the majority stay within the range of pinks to browns.”

“Even though it’s not a problem to make blue pigment anymore, it’s still a matter of supply and demand, isn’t it?” I surmised. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone wear blue lipstick.”

“The kind of people that do are amazing to me,” Hanzawa said. “Whether it’s simply a matter of liking it or wanting to be deviant from the norm—I think there’s a great strength in accepting oneself as anomalous.”

Finally, he picked out a sparkly lime green eyeshadow, and after holding the color up to the light, tucked it into his basket. It was no wonder he’d spent so much time searching—while accompanying him, I hadn’t seen a single product that looked like it.

“You really are fond of that color,” I noted. 

Hanzawa froze for a moment. “It’s for—the cultural festival, actually,” he explained. “I’m helping them out.” 

“Oh, I do something like that too—it’s with the karate class I used to attend back in middle school, though,” I shared. “You must be close with your juniors?” 

As we entered the checkout line, Hanzawa said, “I think it’s something like a leftover sense of responsibility. That guy… we used to be in the same club.” 

Before I could ask him what that guy meant, our attention was redirected to the cashier in front of us. She looked surprised to see two men in front of her, but quickly began scanning the items before her. “Picking up products for your girlfriends?” she asked with a smile, clearly hoping to ease our nerves. 

Hanzawa stepped forward, partially obscuring my view. “It’s for my older sister, actually,” he replied, the same smile mirrored on his face. “I just hope I’ve gotten it right!” 

Caught up in his mild, inconsequential lie, I stood there, hands hung limply at my side, as I realized that apart from her initial shock, she hadn’t once glanced at my cheek. To be accurate, Hanzawa hadn’t let her. This was probably what he’d meant by the value of concealment. It was like when Richard had pretended not to speak Japanese at that department store. While it wasn’t the truth, it was the option that limited any unwanted misunderstandings.

…Was it really because of his older sister that he’d learned how to do makeup? Or was that just the easiest explanation?

We exited the store with our purchases, and I handed over the eyeshadow to Hanzawa. He slipped it into his messenger bag, and in return, produced a pack of makeup wipes for me to take. “If you forget what to do, there’s a bunch of tutorials online,” Hanzawa reassured, gesturing to my bag of makeup.

“Thanks for the help,” I said. “I had a nice time, too—I feel like I got to hear from an interesting person, as well.”

“Don’t think too much of it—I was really just rambling,” he said dismissively before offering me a tight smile. “I do hope work goes well for you this weekend.” 

“…You’ll know, won’t you?” I asked, summoning a bit of courage. “Since you’ll be there.” 

“Ah,” Hanzawa said, and stilled before giving his confirmation. “…Yes, I will.” 

With that promise exacted from him, we naturally said our goodbyes and parted at a nearby street. The early morning chill had faded somewhat under the sun, and as I made my way back to campus, I thought about the many ways Richard’s face might change upon seeing Hanzawa arrive at his appointment. He wouldn’t give me a raise, but I’d get something out of it, nonetheless.

[levi-ish]

Breakfast and Runaways | Eren

Your company was your priority. Dating wasn't in your plan. Nothing could change that, not even one night of partying. Right?

Pairing: Eren x reader

Genre: [+18] CEO!reader, employee!Eren

Warnings: rough sex, mentions of abuse, use of alcohol and drugs.

A/N: this will be a short story, I have just read a lot of modern!setting erens but never seen him as an employee to the reader. so I wrote it. also, dont mind me recycling my old fics titles, they were just too good to go to waste. hope you enjoy <3

AO3

Masterlist

Fuck old people.

What do they actually do for society? They drive slowly, stop walking in the middle of your way, and worst of all, they think you actually owe them something.

And now, watching that wrinkly, bald, chapped-lip grandpa with his disgusting frown as he spoke so lowly of you, you kept on repeating a calming mantra, praying to whatever god was up there that you could keep your patience. And you did. Maybe you should go back to church, maybe cook a turkey as offering or something.

“Yes, Mr. Zackly” you spoke softly, maintaining the serious and understanding expression you always held during these meetings. A quick sign of your hands was enough to make your secretary open the folder in her hands and place a few sheets on top of the table, hanging there for each chairman.­ “I understand where you’re coming from, I just don’t see how the appeal from the public eye would change anything in this business. Our numbers are great, we’ve managed to keep it under the budget every year, everyone’s got their bonuses, we are known and wanted.”

The man threw both the men sitting by his sides a sarcastic look and crossed his arms in front of his face, resting his chin on top of his fat fingers.

“You are a very bright woman, Ms. Reader, you’ve managed—”

“Earned” you corrected him.

“Managed to grow this company and make your little girls dream come true” he kept on talking, you could see the spit falling on top of his beard as you tried your best not to let your disgust show, “but I’m just being realistic. For this company to go global, you’d need more approval than just us… the buyers, the sellers, the sponsors, they are used to seeing… other kinds of CEOs.”

“And what would you mean by that?” you clicked your tongue, not feeling like entertaining the calmness in your expression anymore.

“Well, Ms. Reader, I see our conversation isn’t reaching any points. We’ve talked about this part before, maybe it’s time for you to give it another thought. Enjoy your celebrations!”

Yeah, you knew exactly what he was referring to.

He wanted you to give your company away. The same company you built from the ground, saving every penny ever since you were just fifteen and working three part-time jobs, sweating yourself and almost passing out from exhaustion every now and then. The same company you battled with your teeth and nails to keep it on the ground, making sure everyone were getting paid and satisfaction from their jobs, even if it meant you would be back home with only half a packet of instant noodles to eat the day. The same company that you put heart and soul in, and you just couldn’t.

Fuck money, you didn’t want that. You just had a thirst for working hard and earning something of your own; something you could call your own, your publishing company. And now some old fuck was telling you that you should get married to someone to take over your place as CEO. Disgusting.

Dude, he even offered his nephew, as if you weren’t going to notice how bad he wanted to run your company for you.

And that’s how you ended up in that place now, drunk to the bone as you danced your legs off with a bottle of whiskey on your hand, swinging just as smoothly as your hips to the beat of the throwback songs playing so loud you could barely hear your thoughts — as if you had anything else going through your mind.

“Oh holy fuck” Sasha screamed, her hands falling to her exposed thighs that were almost glistening from the sweat from all the dancing. “Gotta take a break! Let’s go to the bar!”

“Yes, please!” Mikasa brushed her bangs from her face and you all retreated to the crowded bar, pushing your way through a bunch of drunken bodies as if they weren’t anything.

You leaned onto the countertop on your elbows, not caring to brush the hair away from your face, not minding one bit how you looked. Sasha started waving her hand around, trying to get the bartenders attention and failing miserably as he was rushing between orders.

“Hey!” She kept on screaming but her voice just fell into the void. “Fucking hell, I just want booze”

“Calm down Sash” Mikasa placed one of her hands on top of the other girl’s shoulder, clearly too buzzed herself. “He’ll get here soon— HEY!”

The man passed through you and started taking the orders from people from the other side of the counter.

You took a swig of your whiskey and passed the bottle to Sasha and she took the last sip, putting it in front of her as other bartender passed by to grab it and put it away, not stopping to take her order. She stood there in disbelief. “I give up.”

A drunken laugh fell from your lips as you turned around, leaning on your back and eyes wandering around. Your goal tonight was to get fucked up and get fucked. It was new years eve after all, so it shouldn’t be that hard to achieve that, in fact—

“Those gentleman over there offered you girls this bottle” the bartender came by and put it in front of you and three shot glasses.

You frowned and leaned back, trying to find the guys he was talking about, only to set your eyes on a deep and alluring set of emerald ones. You offered him a smirk as you turned to cheer with your girls, opening the new bottle of Don Julio and pouring it for you to take a shot. You, Sasha and Mikasa didn’t even mind who it came from, it was free booze, a free bottle of booze. And the good kind. Expensive

“Fuck old men” you cheered as you raised your cup.

“Yesss, get a sugar daddy!” Sasha screamed.

“That’s not what she meant” Mikasa corrected her, downing her own shot.

“Holy shit, came down burning like a fucking forest fire” Sasha put her tongue out and waved at it, as if to soften the acidic taste.

The booze from the adrenaline and the newly taken shot started to rush trough your body as you let a sigh fall from your mouth, holding the bottle so no smarty-pants would try and take it from you. You were so deep in trance of the alcohol that took it a whole minute for you to notice that Mikasa and Sasha were hugging some people in front of you, and the fact that you knew some of them.

“Oh my god, guys, when did you get here?” Sasha screamed as she put her arm around some guy’s shoulders, he had a buzz cut and clear hazel eyes and a deep flush stamped on his face as if he was already way pass his drinking limit.

“Jean suggested it earlier, so we came down to celebrate” Armin, your head of the HR tried to talk louder than the noise, and you had to lean closer so you could hear him.

“Don’t file a complaint” you winked as you downed another shot straight from the bottle, going to lean back as your back felt a warm body right behind you.

You looked up to find the same pair of emerald eyes, now burning a hole into you as you offered him a smile.

“And who are you?” You raised the bottle to your mouth as he took it from your hands and took a shot himself.

“Eren” he simply said, as if the information didn’t matter at all. He had his chestnut hair in a low bun, effortlessly put up as if he didn’t mind the way it looked, and he was right. He was attractive enough for people to care how his hair stood. He also smelled citric, almost like tangerines and lime.

Bingo.

“Where’s Jean?” Mikasa looked around, not minding the other two’s presence.

“Probably fixing his hair for the fifth time” Connie said and Sasha fell into laughter.

“You all know each other?” You asked, trying to move your attention from the Greek god that stood so close to you that you could almost smell his scent.

“Mikasa grew up with them” Sasha pointed at Armin and the man by your side. “The rest of us met at college.”

“Funny, I haven’t seen any of you before” you found it quite odd. Even though you transferred to Shiganshina Uni on your junior year, you’d never seen Connie or Eren around.

“Thank god, you didn’t have to deal with those airheads” Sasha let the remark fall and Connie gave her a push. “Ouch, fucker.”

You turned around, already feeling the green eyes burning in his presence, and a warm feeling was starting to pool deep in your stomach.

“Wanna dance, Eren?” He just nodded and you two went to the dance floor, sneaking in the crowd.

Seconds, minutes, hours passed and you didn’t even know what time it was until people from the bar started counting down. You were too busy grinding on this fine piece of man, swaying your hips with his as his hands roamed your body, feeling like turning into a puddle as he pushed your hair back to fit his face in your neck, giving hot kisses that made you melt under his touch.

5. You turned around, hands falling from his neck to his chest.

4. He stared deep into your eyes as you raised your bottle and took a swig of it.

3. You offered him a shot and he took it, eyes never breaking contact.

2. You licked your lips as one of your hands found its place behind his neck.

1. His hands were burning hot on the naked back of your dress.

As the ball dropped and the crowd fell crazy, you pulled him by the collar of his black shirt, lips finding each other in a feverish kiss, holding him by the long strands that fell of his low bun, not caring if you were making a mess of his hair, just wanting to satisfy all your needs and forget the frustrations that crept in the back of your mind.

And fuck, he knew exactly what he was doing, playing with your hair as his tongue found yours, exploring limits and feeling too hot for the crowded atmosphere around. Everyone was already long forgotten, and there were only you two standing in that oasis you built yourself. You kissed him as if he was the last cup of water in the world and he returned with the energy of marking you as his, almost animalistic, eager to get out of there.

That’s how you found yourself now in the bathroom, locking it so no one else could enter and dress riding up to your waist as you leaned on the mirror, his hands holding your hips still on the marbled counter, you were soaked up, not caring if you were going to make a mess out of your dress. His fingers worked on unbuttoning the black shirt and revealing a fit chest that made you gasp.

It’s not fair how some people seemed to be sculped by the gods. He was a fucking Michelangelo’s piece, but standing right in front of you.

You lowered your hand to run down the bumps of his abs until you found the happy trail, going lower and lower, enjoying how his chest was rising with his quick breaths, too excited with the control you held over him.

That was, until, in a quick move, he took your wrists and pinned them over your head, mouth falling to your neck and leaving hot, messy kisses all over your skin and the way his breath fanned over each of the marks he left made you tremble. Even more when his fingers were dangerously dancing on top of your inner thighs.

His mouth left your neck and you sighed, frustrated of not being touched for even a second, and he rose to your face to give you a quick peck, teeth holding your lower lip in between them as he gave you another one of his deep stares, going straight down to his knees.

“Hey, I— oh shit” you were going to complain until he left a slow, lingering hot kiss on top of your panties, and you felt like you were going to die right then and there.

He took his time after pushing it to the side, giving you slow licks as his thumb fell on your clit, massaging it and making you jump from the feeling every now and then. Every time he did something right, the fucker knew it, so he kept on the smug smile as his eyes fell on yours and you pulled on his chocolatey locks to make him shut the attitude, pushing him further into your cunt.

You threw your head back, banging on the mirror but not minding the pain because Eren’s fingers were already diving inside you, making your grip on his hard so hard that you could almost sweat he moaned.

“Aww, how cute, you enjoyed that?” You teased, having trouble to make sense in your words.

He lightly bit your clit, making you wince and kick him in the back with the heel that hadn’t fell yet.

He giggled as he curved the fingers inside you to reach your g-spot quicker, putting a lot of stimulation there. You almost had to bite your hand to contain your screams, and the man seemed to notice the muffled moaning happening, so he stood slowly, grabbing your wrist and pulling it away from your mouth and came so close to your face that his nose bumped into yours.

“Lemme hear ‘ya” it was all he said while his fingers kept on working wonders inside you, and now you let yourself free, moans coming out loud, knowing that it would be hard for anyone to hear from the outside, as the partying was way louder than any sounds you could make.

He stayed there, breath fanning over your mouth as you stared with dazed eyes, fucked dumb just from his digits and the smug smile came back, almost making you want to slap him just as much as you wanted him to slap you.

A whimper fell from your mouth as he retreated his hand, and you gave him a confused look. “Wha— I was almost there!”

“Want you to cum on my cock” he simply said, as if it was nothing.

No fucking way. Little shit.

Your grip on his hair tightened and you pulled his head back, leaning over to his ear, whispering: “you don’t make the rules here, pretty boy.”

“Yea?” He leaned back, taking hold of your other wrist, putting it away from his hair. “And who does? You?”

An intense expression washed over your face as you tilted your head to the side, grabbing the same tequila bottle that was almost empty by your side, almost forgotten on top of beige marble.

“Wouldn’t you like to know that?” You said softly, taking a swig of the alcohol and giving it to him.

Your fingertip bumped his nose as your other hand freed itself from his grip, running lower and lower on his chest, until you found the bulge that formed under the layers of clothing that you wished he had gotten rid of already. You caught the way he tensed under your touch and took liberty to tighten your grip on him, licking your lips as he took a shot.

You quickly undid his buttons and the zipper, hand fishing under his boxers as you kept the eye contact, knowing that it taking a brick from the tension wall you were building would make it all crumble down, and you liked that power of having him on your fingertips. Figurative and literally.

Just from the touch, you could take notes on how thick and big he was, his cock falling hot and heavy on your palm as you gave a few teasing tugs, rubbing the pad of your thumb over his slit, knowing that you were doing a good job from the small gasps and whimpers that fell from his mouth. More like they escaped, because he seemed flustered when he noticed that you were eating him up — in one bite.

As if in a battle for control, he took the backs of your thighs and pushed them back, the movement so sudden that you withdrew your hand and he took that as an opportunity to free his cock and go for your lips again. It was a quick kiss this time, but by the end of it, you could swear that he spat in your mouth, and by the way he held a hand in front of your face, you were sure that that’s what he really wanted. So you spat on it too and watched how he covered his length in both of your saliva.

It was a hot sight to see, you weren’t gonna lie.

He held his cock lined up to your pussy and you were just praying that he would fucking move already, and the other hand was raised to your neck, holding part of your jaw and slowly moving to the center of your throat, giving it a light squeeze.

“Fucking move!” You whined and he rolled his eyes, tightening his grip on your neck as he bottomed out so quick that you let a scream escape.

Both of your hands found place on the back of his neck, playing with the hairs on his nape and pulling some so hard that his hair tie fell somewhere on the floor. Neither of you cared, as you were busy enjoying the way his tip met your cervix with each hard thrust.

His dick felt too good inside you, even if there was a small burning by your walls from the size of it, but you enveloped him so good that stopping wasn’t an option. Your mind was empty, no thoughts on sight, not even a kilometer away, and you were fine with that. That moment you didn’t think of stress, you didn’t care to be perfect, you didn’t care about the old fuckers that wanted you to give all your hard work away. You didn’t care. That was priceless for you.

“Holy shiiiit—you’re fucking me so good” you whined as your face found a spot in his neck, biting the skin without noticing, wanting any type of adrenaline rush that you could get.

“You like that, huh?” He said in almost a whisper, breathless and so were you. “Let’s see how much you can take.”

His hand fell to where your bodies met, running down your navel to your clit once more, rubbing it slow, taking his time to savor the way you were moaning so pretty in his ear, taking every word you babbled out every now and then.

“That-that’s all you c-can do?” You tried to tease, almost failing as you stuttered between words. He took it as a challenge though, going slightly faster each thrust.

You watched the way he went all back until there was just his tip inside you just to thrust his whole length inside you, slamming the back of your thighs with his thick ones. Small whimpers fell from your mouth and you leaned back, malice sparkling in your eyes as you pretended to yawn.

“Why are you going easy on me?” You said, leaning on top of the sink as you let your spine rest on the mirror, but your eyes stayed on his.

Oh boy, how you would regret it later.

His grip tightened on your throat once more, now choking you for a few seconds before letting go.

“Fucking slut” he leaned closer to your face, pinching your cheeks so your mouth would open, and he let his spit fall on top of your tongue as you swallowed it with a wicked smile on your lips. “You can’t take it.”

“Oh, I know I can” your smile grew larger.

Guess what, you couldn’t.

His hand slammed your face to the side, your cheek colliding with the coldness of the mirror as he thrusted even harder, his fingers digging into your clit as he rolled the thumb in light speed.

You definitely couldn’t take it.

Now you were screaming, putty under his touch and whatever trace of the teasing act was now gone to never be seen again, hips moving on their own to meet his quicker, missing every millisecond his dick was gone until it met with your insides again. Your walls seemed to have molded around him, a perfect place for his cock and only his cock.

This stranger ruined sex for you.

You slipped under his touch and grabbed his face against yours, mouths barely touching as you made him swallow your moans, fucked dumb to the point that non coherent words were falling from your lips, things that rushed past your mind and you were vocalizing, not minding how loud or scandalous you were being. You only cared to find your release that built up from each slap of thighs.

“Let me—fuck—make me… Oh gooood, cum inside!” You repeated those words again and again, hoping that it would make him go even faster if it was even possible.

His hand rested on your cheek and you held his wrist with both hands, guiding his thumb into your mouth and sucking it viciously, sloppy and messy, and giving him a whole show to enjoy, content with the effect you had on him.

“Gonna fill you up” he said mid-moan, and you let his thumb go with a soft bite to the flesh.

You guided his head to rest on your neck as you wrapped your legs around his waist, encouraging him to go harder, the remaining heel fell from your foot as you moved with him, just as fast, wanting to reach your high.

He was now groaning louder and louder, you could almost swear you head a moan here and there, and you learned that he wasn’t shy to be vocal; it was pretty hot. As he came closer and closer to the climax, he craved his teeth in your shoulder, forcing a scream out of you. You took the chance to dig your fingernails even deeper into his skin, letting them dance around with scratches, making this man your territory for the night.

Soon enough, his movements fell sloppy on you and the hot feeling inside your walls grew hotter with the coloring of his seed, marking you his territory for the night.

[…]

Fucking stop screaming, you begged for the birds to stop with all the noise.

You woke up with the worst headache you ever had, face down on a plush pillow and feeling a light breeze on the back of your thighs. A soft smell of tangerines and lime invaded your nose. Your eyes opened slowly and quickly closed, noticing how bright it was in the room.

But I have blackout blinds…?

You sat instantly, looking around to notice that it wasn’t your bed, neither your room. Looking down, you found yourself in a Black Sabbath shirt that smelled like men’s perfume and definitely didn’t belong to you. On the floor, you could see your red high heels thrown around and your purse just by their side, so you jumped from the bed and quickly fell to the floor as your knees gave up.

The fuck?

You crawled to your purse and searched for your phone inside, only to find it with only 18% of battery and a lot of missed calls. Most of them from Mikasa.

“Shit, shit, shit” you muttered to yourself as you dialed her number, sitting down on the carpet and covering your eyes from the sunlight. “Hey, Meeks, what’s up?”

“Are you getting here?” She asked and you frowned.

“Getting where?” That’s when you remembered, you had work.

Who even had that dumb idea? Oh yea, the fucking old men from the board. The same ones that didn’t celebrate New Year’s Eve, they probably fell asleep watching the ball drop and disappointed their wives by not being able to get their dicks up.

It wasn’t even a real day of work, it was just a day where you would give a half-assed speech of orientation to the new employees and spend the rest of your day in your office approving deals and shit.

“Fuck, I totally forgot” you said to yourself, but Mikasa heard. You checked the time; 8:14AM. You’d slept only two hours.

“Just get here, Zackly is hanging around and I’ve already used the excuse of your car breaking too many time.”

She hang up and you sighed, trying to make a mental to-do list so you could organize yourself. What’s first, what’s first…

You grabbed your purse and heels, stripping from the black shirt and folding it on top of the bad, now looking around for your underwear and quickly redressing yourself. You put the dress back on and snuck out, looking back and forth the hallway to see if there was any chance of bumping into unwanted people. Shoes in hand to avoid any clicking noises, you rushed to what you guessed was the door of the apartment, only to find a shirtless man standing in the middle of the living area, a cereal bowl in his hands and a shocked look in his eyes.

“Who are you?” You asked and he frowned. He had light brown hair in a mullet hairstyle and a faint stubble growing down his jaw. His hazel eyes followed your movements.

“Excuse me?” He pointed at you. “I live here. Who are you?”

“Sorry, did we… hm…”

“If we slept together?” He sat down on the couch. “Nah, you’d remember if we did. You were with Eren.”

You were confused, the name was familiar but you couldn’t quite remember much.

“Also, maybe tune it down a little next time, it was hard to sleep through the screams.”

You felt a deep flush rush to your face and you shook your head.

“Sorry, also, I’m late, thanks for the stay or something” you babbled as you pointed at the door. “Gotta go.”

He nodded and you left, putting your heels back on as soon as you reached the elevator.

It wasn’t hard to find an uber, but the prices were way up from the events, and it almost felt like a deep stab to pay 40 bucks for a ride. You decided to go straight to work, knowing that there was a change of clothes in your office, and going back home to shower would take longer, and you didn’t want to give Zackly the satisfaction.

You quickly jumped from the car and rushed to the backdoor, knowing you wouldn’t meet anyone else in your way, so you quickly sneaked into your office and changed into a deep grey blazer with a matching skirt, keeping the same heels on. Walking on them were somewhat a challenge, since your feet hurt and your back was killing you from the night before.

You also didn’t remember much asides from fucking in the bathroom, fucking in the apartment, fucking in the shower, fucking in the bed again, fucking in the counter, and a whole bunch of fucking to add to the list.

Your memory was starting to clear and more images from the night before flooded your mind, how good you felt as skin slapped against skin, as he choked you until you begged for more, every little whimper and groan, all added to the whole package and making heat pool once more in—

For fucks sake, stop it!

“Oh god, you look like hell” said Mikasa standing behind your half-opened door, staring you up and down.

“Please, don’t remind me” you pointed as you went inside your private bathroom, washing your face with cold water, craving a cup of black coffee.

“I hate whoever had the idea of putting us to work today” she pinched her nose as she came in, sitting on your brown couch.

“I hate Sasha for not having to come in today” it was true, not a lot of you had to work that morning, Sasha was the head of marketing, so she didn’t actually need to come.

You and Mikasa on the other hand…

She must’ve been pretty mad that you made her CFO, now.

“Gosh, I feel worse than I look” you stared at your own image in the mirror, the messy makeup and hair all over the place, a frown painting your brows as you tried your best to conceal it.

“Ah, I’d almost forgot” she said from where she was and you gave her a look over the shoulder. “We hired the editor last week. He’ll show up today, but…”

“Great!” You interrupted her. “When’s he coming?”

“With all the new employees, by 10. Also…”

“Sorry, Meeks” you jumped out of the bathroom. “I really need some black coffee before speaking with Zackly. Talk later, alright?”

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but quickly closed it and nodded, leaving probably to her own office as you found the spare charger and plugged your phone in it.

A quick trip to the kitchen and you found Armin there, standing like an angel from above as he brewed the coffee. Thank god for this guy.

“You’re my salvation” you said as you approached him, grabbing your mug from the cabinet and putting it in front of him to serve.

“Rough night?” He asked and you gave him an exhausted sigh, rushing the mug to your mouth without caring about burning your tongue or the bitterness. He stared dumbfounded, but quickly dismissed it.

“You know you didn’t have to come, right?” You looked over the rim of the mug and he nodded.

“Yea, but my friend is coming in today, and I wanted to give him support.”

“Your friend?” You questioned, not because of curiosity, but to make small talk. Anything was better than actually thinking. It almost hurt to use your brain.

“Mhm” he poured himself a cup, but grabbed the sugar, unlike you. “Oh, you met him—”

“Ms. Reader” a voice came from the entrance and you felt sick to the stomach, throwing away all the prayers of not having to meet that man that early in the morning. “A word?”

Armin gave you a sympathetic look and you walked away, pointing at your office as Zackly followed you. He took the liberty to already sit his fat ass on your expensive chairs and you threw your body on your own, the other side of your desk.

“How was New Year’s?” He asked and you gave him a fake smile.

“Just fine” you nodded. “How was yours?”

“Had some wine with steak with a few friends from the golf club” he said and you had to hold in the roll of your eyes at each pretentious word that fell from his dry lips.

“Must’ve been great then” you kept on the fake smile and turned on your computer.

“But that’s not why I came here to talk” he kept on going. Of course. “I know you’re pretty resistant on the idea of choosing someone to fall under the CEO title…”

“Because it’s my title. I worked hard for it” you stated, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Still, it’s not as if you wouldn’t be doing the same work as before, it’s just a title, now.” He shook his head. “But that’s not why I’m here, again. We’ve got a buyer.”

You frowned, confused. “A buyer… for what?”

“For the company.”

Disbelief was shown all over your face, you didn’t know where this man got that much courage to bring up so much non-sense to you, and still believe that he was doing a brilliant thing. The nerve of him.

“Are you kidding me?”

He frowned himself. “No, why would I joke about a serious matter?”

“So, what you’re saying is that I should sell the company I built, and that have no financial problems whatsoever, just because you didn’t get your way?”

“Actually, it would be an amazing thing. If we sell it, you’d still earn accordingly and maybe join the board of directors if you want it so bad.”

“You must be kidding me” you muttered to yourself, pinching your nose as the headache crept in once again.

“You should think of what’s good for the company, not for you. Think of it as your child, wouldn’t you want it to grow the best it could? If we sell, Paradis Publisher could go global!”

You shook your head; a small giggle fell from your laugh. Soon enough, it turned into a whole belly laughter and you couldn’t contain yourself. A lot of pent-up anger and frustration took over you and you must had been looking like the Joker by now.

“Fucking get out of my office” you said mid-laughter, not caring about what else he had to say about your phrasing.

He tried to snap back, but your laughter grew louder and louder, and soon enough, you were crying. Crying from being still half-drunk, crying from all the frustration you held against this fucking man, crying from all the stress you accumulated, crying for not having a life of your own. If you had to say what was your lowest point, you would definitely mark this one.

Couldn’t get any worse.

You stood from your chair, grabbed your purse and went straight out, following almost robotically a path to outside the building, just wanting to buy some cigarettes and maybe some vodka to cure the hangover with another one.

As you stepped outside, though, you bumped into someone, a hard chest and a familiar scent, something like… tangerines and lime.

Your stomach twisted in its place as you stepped back, only to find a set of emerald eyes staring back at you, quite in shock, and so were you, too focused on staying composed as life hit you with its worst karma. Was it because you didn’t pay your park tickets last week? Was it because you dropped your niece once? Was it because you broke Sasha’s vase and blamed it on her dog?

You’d to have been a fucking criminal in your past life, and paying for all your doings in this one.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he held your shoulders, balancing you and you tried your best to get out of your shock state.

No. Fucking. Way.

And as if it wasn’t enough, you decided that things could actually get worse as your stomach twisted and turned and all the remnants of the coffee you’d just drank were now painting his shoes.

[hanazuma-inactive]

Hi, I love your writings ❤. I really enjoy reading them.

Um, can I request Oikawa Tooru with virgin!reader who is (sub, bottom); (praise kink, but doesn't know he has and kinda shy when he knows it); (has shy, soft, and really submissive personality) (3rd year student) ? Reader with Oikawa is a couple of lover, and a roommate. They usually do some cuddles in their bedroom that always started with Oikawa teasing the reader. One day, when cuddling, Oikawa asked reader if he wants to do something more intimate than cuddling and really feels good.

Sorry if that is too much. Thank you

king and his prince, (nsfw) oikawa x bottom!reader

pronouns: he/him (FEMALE ORIENTED DNI!!)

warnings: creampie, praise kink! flirty oikawa

a/n: oikawa is probs my least favorite character in haikyuu, im pretty sure i hated him at one point cuz of his personality. i later found out from many website i am unfortunately a oikawa kinnie (even tho i dont really think so but idk) explains all the self hatred lmao, again for the anon that requested it im sorry for the bad quality cuz i stayed up to write this at 6 am so undoubtedly there will be some mistakes

:(

_____

"y/n, my dear prince~ doesn't it feel good like this?"

"t-tooru…it feels good, i-it really does!" you said, messy hair and looking directly at your boyfriend.

"you look so beautiful when you enjoy it, keep up that pretty face won't you?"

oikawa tooru was too popular for your comfort at school. everyone liked him and they all had a good reason to, and that doesn't make you any different. you were shy and didn't catch a lot of attention so you were incredibly surprised that someone as popular as oikawa even wanted to talk to you.

you were smart and in fact smart enough to compete with oikawa. in fact the first time you caught his attention was when you corrected an answer, making him embarrassed in front of the class. he wanted to "settle this" only to find you harmless. later on he talked to you more and more. the contrast of personality of you two complimented each other pretty well. a cocky bastard who doesn't know how to shut up and a shy boy who likes to listen. inevitably the two of you grew closer as friends, so much to a point where you moved into the same apartment unit.

you didn't mind getting closer to oikawa, emotionally or physically with him being your crush and all so this was pretty much what you wanted, you just didn't think he would be the one to offer instead. being enclosed in a space together made oikawa get a lot more comfortable with you. random hugs here and there, maybe a little head pat, and sometimes leaning on each other's shoulders. it was practically a dream come true and you didn't think this could possibly get better until the man pulled something else out his sleeves.

one day you fell asleep watching the tv in the living room. the weather was a little chilly so falling asleep without a blanket near you wasn't the best idea. oikawa came home to find you shivering in your sleep so of course like the genius he is, he didn't decide to throw a blanket or carry you back into your bedroom and instead cuddled with you on the couch, leaving you wrapped around his arms basically unable to move when you woke up.

both of you would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it. therefore, this whole cuddling session became a regular thing between you two. oikawa being the big spoon and you being the small one. it went on for a while until both of you realized this might not have been the most normal thing that "friends" did. at this point you're pretty sure oikawa had feelings for you, or else he wouldn't have done a lot of the things he has. after a lot of urging from his friends, he finally decided to confess to you. despite him being the playboy he is, he was quite nervous this time, due to the fact that he had to say it to someone he actually has feelings for. so just like that, the relationship between you two finally became official.

another day you guys during your normal cuddling session, oikawa proposed an interesting idea, and to be honest you saw this coming.

"babeeeee, why don't we try something more interesting this time~?" oikawa said, staring at you with his arms around you.

you knew exactly what oikawa meant, you weren't stupid, but you know that he likes it when you act all innocent so you decided to do just that.

"hm? what do you mean tooru-kun? i don't think i understand?"

"oh…baby boy i know you know what i mean alright~" just as he said that the brown haired man grabbed you in for a kiss.

your tongues started to intertwine immediately. this was very much oikawa's style, aggressive and dominant, but soft and caring when he wanted to. the kiss was generally messy but you could tell that oikawa was putting effort into this with all his tiny and intricate movements. a string of saliva connected you after he broke the kiss. leaving you panting and gasping for air while he's on the other side with a sly grin.

"you ready for the next part now?"

"t-there's more ah-!" you gasped as your boyfriend pulled down your pants at once, leaving your hard cock to bounce out.

"of course there is~ we have to tend to this guy don't we?" he said, holding your dick and positioning himself to suck your dick.

yet again attacked by oikawa's mouth you just couldn't keep it for long anymore. it's like his mouth is heaven made or something and it will continue to turn you on and make you cum without fail.

"a-ah! tooru..i'm gonna cum! mmghm!" you said, shooting all your load straight into your boyfriend's mouth, which of course he gladly swallowed right after.

"t-that's it right? i don't think i'll be able to handle more, you know…" you said out of both fear and excitement.

however all you got in response was a smirk from oikawa as he slid off his shirt to reveal his perfectly toned abs.

"almost done, pretty boy."

something about that word, made your half flaccid cock immediately rise up and become as hard as your boyfriends again.

"heh? what a strange reaction, could this mean…" oikawa leaned in closer, enough so that all the hair near your ears would stand up and said,

"my prince likes to be praised?"

you've heard about this so-called praise kink before but didn't exactly think you'd be into it this much. your face turned redder than they already are and you just wanted to cover your face and run away.

"aw, c'mon, it's cute! and if you like it-' oikawa said, spreading your legs open, exposing your asshole and angling his cock head to the entrance of it.

"i might just praise you a little more than usual, hm?"

your boyfriend was hot but this was undoubtedly the most attractive he's ever been. towered over you whispering praises in your ear as he prepared you with his fingers for something bigger that's about to come next. without a warning oikawa began to inch his way into your ass, moving and adjusting his cock to fit your tight asshole.

"you're taking me so well baby...keep doing just that alright? i know you're so good for me aren't you?" oikawa said, leaning closer at you.

at a loss for words due to how flustered you are, you could only give your boyfriend a little nod and covered your face with your arms while flashing a little red on your cheeks once again.

"y/n, my dear prince~ doesn't it feel good like this?"

"t-tooru…it feels good, i-it really does!" you said, messy hair and looking directly at your boyfriend.

"you look so beautiful when you enjoy it, keep up that pretty face won't you?"

the praises that he showered you with were too much. you were already so sensitive since it was your first time and all. now with all these lustful words turning you on, you couldn't hold it in anymore and came onto your stomach while your boyfriend continued to make slow but deep thrusts onto your prostate.

your head was still a little fuzzy but you could still feel your boyfriend jerking his hips faster and faster, ending with a long thrusts at the end which wasn't hard to assume that your boyfriend came inside you, just like how you wanted it. before passing out from bliss, a hand cupped your cheek followed with a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"you did so well baby…i know you're tired so rest now, i'll be here alright."

you couldn't be more happy, with such a loving and caring boyfriend. that being said, you fell into his arms once again and slipped into your dreams even thought they have already become reality.

[thefanficmonster]

Bumpy Road

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Depression and Relationship struggles as well as Health Problems

Genre: Mild Angst, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: On a live podcast discussing his rise to fame and how its affected his personal life, Corpse stumbles over the topic of his romantic relationships, more specifically his relationship with Y/N.

Requested by Anon. Hello dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request and so sorry you’ve had to wait for it to be posted so long. However, here it finally is and I hope you come across it and read it an if you do I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

“Right, ok we’re officially live!“ Exclaims Anthony as he waves to one of the cameras - the one turned to him - and leans closer to the mic placed on the table in front of him. “Hello everyone, thanks for tuning in today. I’m here with the internet sensation and mystery known as Corpse Husband.“ He turns away from the camera to look across the table at his guest, “Corpse, I hope you know how much effort is being put into editing that sticker over your face for the duration of this whole podcast.“

Corpse, whose face is hidden by a sticker of his avatar, chuckles, “So you’re insinuating that I should probably not move so much.”

“Exactly.“ Anthony laughs, “My guy would be very grateful for that curtesy. Yeah, I have an actual person who I assigned to move around the sticker so there goes an extra paycheck.“

“In that case I promise to give you worthy content. A lot of never previously heard scoop.“ Corpse says, mocking the very words he uses, laughing about them afterwards, “Ask away, man.“

Anthony briefly looks down at a printed sheet of paper before pushing it to the side with a slight furrow of his brows, “You know, these are all cookie-cutter questions you’ve probably been asked many times before. So, I think it’s for the best I ask you something no one has had you talk about. Or something I hope no one has had you talk about yet. If you feel uncomfortable with any question just say so and we’ll skip it right away.“

The sticker moves up and down to mask Corpse’s face as he nods, “Got it.”

“Ok um...“ Anthony falls in thought for a moment, thinking of a question, “The first thing off the top of my head, um, what part of the dark side of fame have you had the displeasure of experiencing?“

Corpse lets out a laugh dangerously close to a scoff, “Almost all if not totally all of it really. There’s such a big chunk of privacy being taken away from you on social media. I got to that point where I felt so naked and seen I felt I was losing myself as my fandom grew. I know it’s many YouTubers’ dream to blow up and have a ton of fans and followers but I never wanted that. Don’t get me wrong, I love each and every one of my fans, I just never expected to accumulate so many of them. I’m such a private person, it was so anxiety inducing in the beginning but I sort of learned how to cope with it, you know? Sometimes, in order to stop people from reaching into my real privacy, I created a fake one that I’d feed into and let them enjoy.”

Anthony’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “Wow, how do we know what’s real about you anymore, huh?” It was said more as a joke but he truly meant it. If a person can fake a whole reality for people not to touch into their real one, Lord knows what else they can do.

Corpse huffs, “I’ll give you a hint: If it seems pretty, pink, peach and perfect it’s fake.“ The sticker may be hiding his face from the viewers but it’s most definitely not doing anything to shield the change in expression that occurs on his face from Anthony who’s sitting right across from him and notices the shift right away but before he could question it, Corpse prods on, “Y/N, my partner, can tell you just as much. They know better than anyone what’s the difference between what people know and what the reality is. They know that our relationship isn’t the sunny skies we put on display for our fans. I have my mental and physical health issues, my trust issues and paranoia play a big role in the ‘rains’ in our day-to-day life but they understand it’s all a part of me and a part I can’t control. It actually controls me sometimes and it’s so fucking annoying. But they understand. And while we pretend it’s perfect even though it isn’t, we find our happiness wherever and whenever we can. When it rains so often, you might as well look for a little hint of sunlight. That sunlight can create a rainbow after all. Believe me when I say, that rainbow is the most beautiful thing, makes you forget about the storm that just took place or might even be still raging all around.“ He sighs, preparing to bring his outpour of honesty to a close, “It may be a bumpy road 98% of the time even though on social media we pretend it’s the complete opposite, but that 2% of honest happiness we get from the tiniest of things are more meaningful than I could describe to you with words.“

And he’s more than right, words are often not enough. But the ones he used to describe what he just did were perfectly enough to bring one particular viewer to tears. That particular viewer who knows exactly what he was talking about. Because they are his other half and they’re going through it the same as he is. They’ve gone down that bumpy road side by side with him, ignoring the pain and turmoil while focusing their gaze on the rainbow above. That analogy was theirs from the very start after all. They both knew Y/N is the better one at finding the deeper meaning in everything even when there was nothing to be found.

They always found something. And Corpse will always cherish that trait as one of their best - always finding something to keep them both afloat.

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