#i dont do feelings sry
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#wyll#wyll ravengard#bg3#baldurs gate 3#my art#larian job openings but none for wyll fanartizt … hmmm….#.. change that and get back 2 me ok. …#anywyas . <looove saying anyways ~#rediscovering this brush and its kind of fun tbh.. i love the patchiness of the marker but this is soo round and full#and i like the opacity shift on the ends bc it looks so smooth .. like the subtle blending#do u see the mizora .i almost drew her w but i didnt want to make wyll scowl and you know he doesnt gaf abt her like thagt so.#aug.anyways . im soo soeepy .tired snzzz snorrkkmimi#MANN!!!! i havent played since they fixed the wyll glitch and i want to soosos soo bad (crying hamster pic)#k mneed to . draw more fomplete stuff again sry for headshot soft smile number 332#this feels more him to me .. i dont like the first pic i posted . whichever one is colored#🫵🫵🫵 i cant render faces for shit w color .woe is me#on the right track though i do like this 1 more . not there yet but SOON.for wyll at least HELPPPP i drew a few astsrions and shadowhearts#but no1 else ..
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⚔️🐬
#10!! they are going on a mountain trail PICNIC because i SAID SO!!!!! theyll use the empty basket to collect foraged plants (mushrooms)#i drew jade for one of my twst zine pieces and Also gave him this same hat. idk why it has such a vice grip on my brain for him#it feels right. i hate drawing jade (i love drawing jade) i am conflicted. he is SO cute and i always think it looks good but its tricky#maybe thats why i do the hat. idk. also ponytail silver Real. wait till tomorrow. giggles cutely#unrelated also but im dealing with some. really heavy irl stuff. so sry if i dont rly reply to comments on these posts. i normally try :(#friends can eitherrrr check my twt for what happened or dm on discord but. sighs. im stuck in a cycle not of my own making. hate it here#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#jade leech#suntails
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i've been seeing my gifs get reposted on twitter lately, and i'm p sure people are getting them off of my tumblr, so i wanted to make a post and say please don't do that, i have a twitter account & an entire directory of things i've posted, you can easily rt or qrt them from there!
i'd rather people didn't repost my stuff at all, but if you do, at least acknowledge that you got it from me? gif making isn't simple, and gifs don't just appear out of nowhere, someone had to take time out of their day to make them. and the entire process of making them, and making them look GOOD, takes work!
and yes it's a labor of love, but seeing other people benefit from your labor kinda sucks?
a gif before/after editing, for example!!
i know i'm not saying anything that hasn't been said before, but this has been bothering me so. here we are!!
pls don't repost gifs!!!!
reblog/retweet the heck out of them, by all means! it's easier than making your own post, anyway!! 😉
okay, got that out of my system, i hope. carry on!
#mine#xoxod#sry but this has been BOTHERING ME#i dont mean to be like lecture-y or whatever but i genuinely get the feeling that#some people dont truly realize that gifs don't just leap fully formed onto the internet#at least that is what i like to believe#rather than someone doing it maliciously#but im too nervous to Actually confront reposters so you get me kinda vaguing to the void#ok im gonna go eat dinner now
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This is a stupid rant but I've been scouring the internet for more content of some "rarer" (not really) tma ships and have found that for some reason there seems to be a great divide among the fandom on whether or not certain ships are unhealthier than the other or not. Which is:
1. stupid because NONE of these characters are capable of being in a normal "healthy" relationship in the beginning and become even less capable the more the series goes on
and
2. generally a weird thing because this new epidemic of people measuring the "goodness" of their ship by (their own very one dimensional) morals and their own (dare I say bitchless) standards of what is healthy is just?? embarrassing??? Not to add the fact that what is canon and what isn't is more and more treated like something untouchable as if fan content doesn't exist to add on, add your own touch or just go insane!!!
Thirdly and lastly where is the fun? Where are the people shipping things as a crackship or only if they are toxic exes that hate each other??? We are becoming more and more rigid and I fear for the time I get an interest in something brand new that is just full of these dull, boring people who think harassing people is a valid replacement for just using the block button or that fictional characters can be measured the same way a real person can be. No real person will ever be touched by eldrich fear powers or lose two ribs in a deal with a pile of flesh I'm afraid.
Anyways I LOVE Alice and if anything bad (like dying I think she's already traumatized) happens to her I will fly to England and leitner Johnny I'm so serious
.
#GOD YEA LITERALLY YEA#my fav ship in malev is goddamn arkayne bc i think theyre interesting and i love kaynes fascination with arthur#while arthur violently hates him#and then also the. fact kaynes a god trying to use arthur for his own gain thats also there anyways love the ship#its so silly to me#my 2nd fav fic is kayne x the king in yellow so. yea if you know the podcast i feel you can understand what im getting at#SRY TO GO ON THAT WHOLE TANGENT i dont rly ship stuff in tma but i do love toxic ships#*looks longingly at my ocs carter and dol pls ask me abt them*#magpod#tma#the magnus archives#magpod confession
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shaking the malevolent fandom by the shoulders guys don't forget that you have to reblog things to keep posts alive REBLOG ALL FANWORK NOT JUST ART PLEASE
#like yeah theres a larger conversation around typical ''art'' being much easier to consume than a written fic BUT irregardless that's kind#of a shitty excuse to give at the expense of writers who put in just as much time + effort right ???? like?? am i missing something or :/#i know its just how things work but seeing art with a bunchh of rb/tags while most fic posts don't break like. 20 notes is.....disheartenin#i hate saying this bc i feel like its pitting writers against artists I DONT WANT TO DO THAT but yall are bad about supporting everyone sry#malevolent#finch chirps#fandom culture#masked
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Hi hello here with my daily (hourly) (minutely) caged qphil musing because I have insane amounts of brain rot---I wonder if ccphil is gonna keep consistent with the fact that his character was still in his mexican independence day outfit when he got caught.
And other people have pointed this out, but I can't stop thinking about it, because like, assuming he does get rescued, the first thing his rescuer(s) are gonna notice is his outfit, and seeing him still in his independence day outfit---they're immediately gonna clock the fact that he's been in there since last friday. Like, qphil probably won't know exactly how long he's been in the birdhouse (there's no clocks in there, no windows, nothing; that's a whole other post entirely, though) but the others are gonna know. Immediately.
And it's not just that he's been in there since friday, but since the end of the labyrinth fiasco. Because yes, everyone else went straight from the party to the labyrinth without changing outfits, but then everyone went home. Went to bed or kept hanging out. Changed into comfier clothes. Not phil, though. He went to the party, to the labyrinth, to his house, and then was immediately dragged here. They're going to look at him and think, God, he was probably in the middle of getting ready for bed when this happened! (He was.)
There's something deeply unsettling about it, I just can't quite put my finger on it. It's like in a horror movie when a victim is picked off at a party and their body is found still wearing their cute dress or fancy button down, hair still done up, makeup still on. The knowledge that this person was caught completely unaware. The knowledge that they were having a good time, or had just had a good time, when it happened.
Idk if this makes sense but. Man. I hope ccphil keeps his mexican independence day skin on for when he gets out. I hope it's all dusty and wrinkled and torn up around the cuffs. I hope the red neck bow is coming undone. I hope it still has all its little golden tassels on it.
#sry if this is garbage. am sleeby. have work to do. houghh.#caged qphilza is all ive been able to think about this week can you tell#qsmp philza#a cage for a cage#dont mind me im just rambling#ykno sometimes i feel i apologize about making so many long posts about this and talking abt it way too much and then i remember#hey. this is the talking-about-it-way-too-much website.#and then i feel better lmao
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when I said I need a break from school I didn’t mean to get sick
#like I'm gonna write those exams with a fever idc 😭😭😭#reached a point where my throat hurts sm I rather spit into a tissue than swallow#also my mom istg.#the most unnecessary comment#idk tw for ed-ish behaviour ig ?????#like she asked if I was hungry and I said nah bc I'm like sick#and she told me to drink lots of water#and that me not eating isn’t bad bc I have a few pounds I could loose#like girl cmon#what a way to make me feel bad abt food and stop eating normally again#like I'm not even fat or anything??????#at least thats what my friends tell me#they say there is no fat to get rid of ??#i've been struggling with weight and my body for ages already#i lost 15kg from me eating only one slice of bread a day and feeling full from it#i gained it back yeah#but I dont look like how I did before#i still fit into the same size I did when I lost that weight#wtf do u mean I could get rid of some pounds wtf#sry rant over#the voices are speaking
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i get why ppl are saying we shouldn’t mock his death, bc death isn’t smth that you should ever make a mockery of, but PLSSSSSSS don’t let the fact that he was likely mentally ill excuse the shitty things he said. he was a BAD person and a BIGOT and maybe don’t joke about his death and ya ig its ok to feel like his death has shaken u a bit bc i understand he contributed to mcr but ALSOOO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE WAS A BAD PERSON PLSSSSS I DO NOT WANT 2 SEE THIS MAN GET TURNED INTO AN INNOCENT BC HE WAS ANYTHING BUT. HE CONTRIBUTED TO OUR FAVORITE SONGS BUT HE ALSO PROJECTED HATEFUL RHETORIC THAT PROMOTED VIOLENCE TOWARDS MINORITIES AND THAT IS BLATANTLY FUCKED UP. HE WAS HOMOPHOBIC, RACIST, TRANSPHOBIC, AND A TRUMP SUPPORTER PLS TELL ME U UNDERSTAND HES A BAD PERSON
#he didn’t deserve to die ok but PLS DONT MAKE HIM INNOCENT#PLS DO NOT ACT LIKE JST BC HE WAS IN MCR N DEAD NOW HES AUTOMATICALLY FORGIVEN 4 THE SHIT HE’S SAID#its just hard 4 me to feel bad about him dying knowing he probably wouldnt feel bad if he heard some1 like me (a queer n trans person) died#i haven’t seen anyone try to erase his actions but im very scared that ppl are going to start to … HE WAS A BAD PERSON LETS PLSSS REMEMBER#i understand he was mentally ill and sure his deaths sad but UHFHFJFJFJGJ#also his cause of death hasnt been confirmed n i feel its a little weird 2 speculate#eef’s ramblings 🗣️#sry i have a lot of thoughts on this situation#mcr
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no actually it is kind of a wonder to me how pb is operating with whb like it is bc. arent yall also hosted (i believe anyways im not sure if their partnership w/ erolabs goes beyond that) by another company w/ SEVERAL gachas under its belt. so whats goin on here. nobody taking notes? are we doing market research? is anyone even play testing. hello. its so dark in here
#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#LIKE. atp im just here to see how long it lasts#not even a full year yet and honestly it srarted going downhill december....#i feared back in march they were gonna be trying to do passes monthly and its not a good look. thats like ~60 per month#thats a bill payment.#even subscription based mmos dont cost that much.#and lets be frank the game is not of any sort of quality that justifies $60 for a jpeg (and imo a lackluster side story)#like sry u can only use the company size as an excuse for so long and i will never dickride a company ever#but its. man.#i am interested in the game and its characters and story if we could GET TO ITTTTT#RAHHHH#atp im like is anyone trying to make sure this game lasts. it feels like its gotta be fully aware sabotage now#bc these choices arent making sense unless the point is truly just a quick buck#theres some useful little changes here and there but. man#it get overshadowed by the greed real quickly#i dont even care abt beel either just on principle. this is. a real head scratcher.#also this has been in my drafts since may if that means anything.#i just rewrote my tags 😭
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i know its normal to like. tell your parents that you're moving and got a new job but why do i feel like i have to ask permission to fucking. apply for jobs outside of michigan
#shay speaks#sry i am. thinking about how i felt like i was asking permission to accept the job in colorado that i took#in my hashtag rebellious era by just taking seasonal work wherever#and doing my own thing. im hoping with some distance between my parents and me i'll actually be able to find something#of myself. just like. my own person.#i dont want to be an extension of my parents!!!! i dont want to do what they want for me!!!#but i feel like whenever i want to do something big i have to ask permission#which is why i havent told them about any of my adventures this summer#where i went to various lighthouses and such. fr some reason i just. feel like i have to ask them for permission to do anything#even though i am 23.#saying that as if they didnt force me to go to church while i was living at home with them last winter#but at the same time i do not want a '''''normal''''' job where i'm working at an office from 9-5#i dont think i'd like that very much. as much as i love the people from the museum i interned at#i realized i did not want to do office work or paperwork or anything like that#i like interacting with people and the fast paced kitchen environments#sighs. i probably need therapy but will not be getting it any time soon
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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2009 Monaco Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Rubens Barrichello)
#omfg jenson running to the podium is SOOOOOOOO ICONIC#he is an icon! he is a legend! he IS the *moment*!!#like who else is doing it like him???? wearing a whole racesuit and helmet jogging all the way down the pitlane?????? forrest gump who??#every race i somehow fall more in love him which i didnt think was possible as i am already incredibly endeared#hes so handsome on this podium my god...his pretty blue eyes....okay sry sry its very late at night#anyways not the most interesting race i dont think? i just feel incredibly proud of jenson and brawn as a whole#(not to jinx it but amr to me is the modern brawn so maybe they can pull something like this off this wknd!!)#watching seb era races is lowkey distracting for me cause i do care about all the other drivers but#i cant help but be like vader in rots like: 'where is seb? is he safe? is he alright?' and he DNFed this race and i was sad :(#i usually put the p2 and p3 as featuring but i realized kimi is nowhere to be found in these oops!!#jenson button#jb22#brawn#rubens barrichello#2009 monaco gp#2009 monaco grand prix#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#(2009: 6/17 races watched)#season: 2009
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not me realizing what caused my flare up and why it hasnt gotten better 😭😭
#its my SHOES#the insoles r completely trodden down now and causing pain 😭😭😭💀#as if i can afford new ones this late in the sneakers season#i use skechers arch fit bcos theyre literally the only shoes ive tried that doesnt cause me massive pain from feet up to shoulders#and the insoles r done for now (which i feel is silly that i didnt realize sooner)#im looking @ alternative insoles for a lower price since the shoe itself is technically fine. but u cant buy the skechers insoles seperatel#(fuck u capitalism) but spending that kind of money on insoles that might not even work is also p terrifying tbh#ill see what i can do but for now im basically cuffed to the bed whenever i Dont have obligatory engagements with the irl outside world#my brain is sooooo fried i might as well be put in a medically induced coma 😭😭😭#arfids still rly bad too but tbh its easier now that i dont move a bunch? require less sustenance energy 🙃🙃😭#abyways sry for my rant. im holding out nd miss u all so so so much !!!!!!#these r the longest words ive written for a while. im surprised im so coherent rn#nohr.txt
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I literally want you but you never pay attention to me
well rn you're on anon so idk who u are.. also im sorry that im not paying attention to u everything is too jumbled and cloudy and im not capable of making out what is infront of me or around me. i just dont know. im sorry.
#also its just hard for me to comprehend anyone wanting me#also maybe thats a littlw bc my brain works dofferently and i need a deep emotional connection to strongly want someone#differently* im not wearing glasses#like dont we have to talk? get to know eo? how else can we know eo well enough to know eo#well enough to want eo** ugh i cant type when im sleep deprived#and what does it mean that im not paying attention to u? are u messagin me or talking to me like idk :(((#anyway im sry i actually dont mean to ignore u i just dont know#like we need a talking stage and becoming friends and then know that we want eo#and if i sound too needy for u then yeah.. idk :((#what i mean is that as far as i know im like only even talking regularly to 2 ppl#and there needs to be a built rapport and mutual connection and like conversation for me to even feel something#so im just a bit confused.. do u want me.. actually get to know me and know eo#or do u just want me to be a certain way and fot a certain image? im confused#fit*... i need glasses
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I want to thank Misha Collins for inspiring me to do things that, for legal reasons, I cannot disclose online
and no, this is not a joke. Misha, through GISH especially, showed me not just the power of art-as-activism, but what creative modes function best in that setting, and how to organize and lead such efforts.
what I've done with that knowledge, again, would be legally dangerous to admit online
but I'm so happy I know how to do it. I've become a leader in my community, and a supporter of large and powerful movements.
specifically, those spaces know me as an artist. an artist with endless and diverse creative ideas, who knows no fear, takes no shit and is especially good at resistance and point-making via "funny" and lighthearted art.
would Misha approve of what I'm doing?
most likely, FUCK no he wouldn't
he's made himself damn clear where he stands on this stuff, even via silence alone
but I have him to thank anyway.
#misha collins#misha fucking collins#supernatural#love the character hate(?) the actor#Dont Meet Your Heroes.jpg#no ethical celebrities under capitalism#listen I'll meme on and cheer on Misha forEVER but know I have zero respect for him as a person at this point#“Misha Collins” the celebrity/public figure? hilarious. memeworthy. what the fuck is wrong with this man#actual human person Misha Collins? yikes. ik exactly what the fuck is wrong with this man and its Rich White Dude Syndrome#i feel like its a good day to mention that celebrities are putting on an act even when they act as themselves#fuck! im getting to know that firsthand rn!#for a far less controversial example see Jensen Ackles being a Total Deangirl Freak(i love him) and only wearing green at photoshoots#vs Jensen Ackles flying to hawaii to do a golf tournament while wearing khaki kneeshorts#btw I dont think this makes all actors bad or is a bad thing. its just part of the nature of celebrity.#the spn characters > the actors “in character” as spn actors > the blandest rich white texan men you'll ever see (they are v pretty though)#long ass tags#headcoldposting sry coherence is gone#I personally try to “play myself” on camera as principled organized and well-spoken. creative but clear on the movement's goals#in actuality I'm panicking almost 24/7. I drown myself in destiel angst nonstop and 50% of my internal monologue is in Old English.
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#hate to be annoying bc i know ive vagued abt this before but nothing pisses me off when ppl are like#'why do u say [offensive thing] abt ppl w/ mental illness when u would never say [offensive thing] abt ppl w/ somatic illness/disability'#sry ur so wildly ignorant but not WOULD ppl say that abt ppl with physical disabilities they DO say it like non fucking stop#like so many ppl think u can cure anything from paralysis to diabetes to cancer with good diet and positive mental attitude....#like how fucking myopic....confidently uncurious abt other ppls struggles#and i feel bad complaining abt it bc the person in question is a relative and an activist that i otherwise respect#but its like her favorite fucking line and it pisses me off to know end esp bc when we were kids she made fun of#another relative of ours with a mobility related disability.....i know shes sorry abt it now but idk i dont forgive her abt it#ive tried to talk to her abt it before but she just hears what she wants to hear its like total brick wall#uuuuugggggghhhhh she pisses me off so bad its not even funny
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