#i dont care in the employee was an idiot

[dittolicous]

Pokemon Tera-Leaker: Yeah I got info on the new games but I'm not going to share, I do have ethics! Just wait and see!

Also Pokemon Tera-Leaker: (Posts entire, easily searchable employee names and data for all to see with zero attempt at covering)

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Andriy's heart eyes are so sweet. 😁 With Andriy, Vova really has the best head of his office and such an awesome friend at his side in these times. God knows that these two went through since February 2022. And what they talked about or which decisions they had to make. Or what pictures and videos they saw.

Would also second that. Really hopes that Andriy finds his healing and peace and happiness after he war.

He literally got so much crap from all kind of people and shitstorms for the most idiotic things. But always stays loyal at Vova's side and accepted all the hate with grace and a smile, not giving a damn fuck. (Or as he said it - they better hate him and not Vova.)

And to add to anon: Also what they must have experienced. Stuff they will probably never be able to talk about. Andriy was one of the first people from the team who arrived after Vova in Bankova and is the only one who stayed with him until this day 24/7. He was with Vova in the first hours of the war and when they were faced with getting killed or captured. Not to mention that is name is probably also on some kill list. He was with Vova in the bunker and they shared a room. And he never left Vova's side and suffered with him through all the painful and terrible moments.

Not to mention is responsible for A LOT of Vova's projects and initiatives.

Andriy deserves way more love and recognition.

[viiennie]

i was watching stephanie soo and had an idea

spoiled!afabreader x loving!gojosatoru

in which: your billionaire father is now in the age of retirement and thought it was time for you to stop being so leisure and find a man to marry. it was one of your duties as the heiress after all.

tw: curse words, rich ppl, suggestive (gojo loves you a bit too much)

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

“daddy! i dont wanna get married, im only 29!” you whine, stabbing the three thousand dollar steak on your plate angrily, pouting as your father sighs.

“dear, im 61 years old now. i was supposed to retire lat year, but i decided to work for another year because you told me you werent ready.”

“….”

your silent response is proof that you knew you were being unreasonable. “but i dont wanna get married to a stranger..” you mumble, now playing with the veggies on the side of the plate. you tried your best to find your mr. right last year, but everyone was just either so boring, so bland, or was only after your money. you were fine if they were intelligent men who were after your money, but noooooo they were absolute idiots who had the guts to be after your money.

“dont worry dearie, i wont allow you to be with a trashy guy.” your father pats your head gently, careful not to mess up your hair that he knows you spent forever to style.

indeed did your father keep his words. he had offered 65 million dollars to the man who will marry you under the condition that he loves you and you love him. not only that, but all the blind dates he set you up on absolutely exceeded your expectations. one of them rented out an entire theme park for the two of you to enjoy, one had emptied out a five star hotel, and one even had booked you both a flight to greece.

all these men were gentlemen who were from different rich families. they were kind, they were caring. but one thing always set you off.

they always looked like they were just there to complete a chore.

you grunt, mushing your face into the window of your rolls royce. another day, another blind date. this time you were on your way to the biggest mall in the country, about to meet the heir of the gojo group.

“miss, you might rub your makeup off.” ijichi warns, pushing his glasses up as he organizes your schedule. ijichi was your personal assistant, your best friend since day one who was always there to take care of you.

you pout, furrowing your eyebrows and closing your eyes in annoyance.

next thing you know is when you open them again, youre standing in front of a white haired man with the bluest eyes you’ve seen. he is your first date that’s wearing casual clothes.

“it’s nice to finally meet you angel, my name’s gojo satoru.” he smiles, showing off his pearly whites and offering a hand.

you raise an eyebrow, impressed as you place your hand in his, watching him kiss the soft skin of your knuckles. you feel a smile creep onto your lips as you then allow him to guide you through the crowdless mall, greeting all the employees and managers as he walks past the stores. you swear he is the most gentlemanly date you’ve had so far with the way he walks to match your pace, makes sure you arent tired, and stopping with the occasional, “how are you feeling princess, you tired?”

as you eat, he slices the meat for you, separates the green peas from the fried rice for you if you didnt like them, makes sure you know you dont have to finish the food if you didnt like it or if you felt full. after you’re done eating, he tells you to sit and relax first, assuring you that there was no rush in anything. “just sit your pretty self and rest there baby.” he hums, paying for the food before putting all his attention back on you.

he asks you about your father, how hes doing. about your friends, the drama going on. he asks you about your hobbies, your interests, your skills, your talents.

and youre so glad because this time you dont have to talk about the changes in the company when you are to be married, you dont have to answer questions like, “will you sign a prenup?” “how many guests will you invite at the wedding?” “how is the revenue?” “where should i invest?”

with gojo satoru, you can be yourself, and not be a business partner.

as you talked about how you had an eminent talent in horseback riding, satoru cant help but smile as he admires the way you constantly glowed. each word you said was just so perfect, like a melody that had him melting. god, he could just eat you up.

after you decided you had enough rest, satoru leads you to the shopping area, telling you to buy whatever you wanted. you squeal, this time being the one to lead the way and dragging along the rich man as you hop from nike, to chanel, to hermes, to dior, and so on. he ended up having to carry multiple shopping bags, but he didnt mind, because he absolutely loved seeing that smile on your face each time you swiped his black card.

he couldnt help but slowly get hard, groaning quietly whenever you got more comfortable and touchy with him, often hugging his arm close to your chest and pulling him to the next store.

he had to hold back whenever you’d say, “gojo, i wanna go there next pretty please!” and look up at him with those pleading puppy eyes of your, batting your lashes in hopes of charming him.

he nearly reached his boiling point when you asked him to enter the changing room, needing help with zipping up the back of a particular skirt.

as he kneels to reach, he catching a glimpse of your pretty lace underwear in a baby pink color, his cock twitches as he goes deaf to your questions, “is the zipper stuck? whats taking so long gojo?” you repeat almost thrice before he goes back to his senses, quickly zipping up the skirt before standing, doing his best to cover up the tent in his pants.

he didnt want to make you think he was a weirdo after all..

you twirl around with the most beautiful smile, “what do you think, gojo? is it pretty?”

he can only stare with a strained smile, unable to focus as he nods. “its beautiful princess.”

you can tell somethings bothering him, “is it the top? i have another option there if–” you pause when he takes a step forward, hesitantly placing his hand on your lower back and lifting your chin with his other hand, “you look stunning baby.” he reassures you, and you feel your face getting hotter.

“o-okay, i’lltakethisthen!” you quickly say before shoving him out of the changing room.

satoru is glad he had the door blocking you because at this point he swears there might be a stain on his pants. embarrassed, he tried to pull down his sweater, sighing in relief when he looks at the mirror, seeing that it was oversized enough to hide his little gojo junior’s bulge.

it isnt long after when you tell gojo your daddy is telling you to go home before the sunsets, having to reject his offer to drive you home because you had ijichi waiting at the parking lot for you.

“well, i hope we’ll see each other again angel.” gojo smiles, having walked you till the exit of the mall. “hope i didn’t disappoint you today.” he adds honestly, letting go of your hand.

“oh, you didn’t disappoint me at all today gojo. i had lots of fun.” you smile, tiptoeing to place a surprise kiss on his lips. “i’ll see you again next week?”

gojo is dumbfounded, standing there as his brain goes completely blank, just staring at you with adorable wide eyes.

you giggle, taking that as a yes before walking off to the direction of your car.

as soon as youre sat in the backseat, you take out your phone, calling your dearest father’s phone number and with a big smile and a racing heart you tell him, “daddy, prepare 65 million dollars because i like this one!��

[philtstone]

24. Showing up injured at their friend/mentor’s house: for shawn? :)

[emerges from writing this fic bloody and beaten and on the verge of collapse] ill explore karen vicks character in an overly complicated post-episode missing scene fic or die trying! set immediately post "right turn or left for dead". i genuinely dont know if im happy with this but i also cant figure out how to fix it. actually, it would have probably been easier to write if i was willing to rewatch the episodes its based on. which i am not, because i am a sensitive little soul. so i winged it. i think there are like 10 different ideas that crop up and theyre all equally fascinating as character threads but i have no idea if i tied them together in an even remotely coherent way. also, WOULD she say that??? i had to call my brother twice to ask. this is what yall get for sending me actually interesting prompts, huh

“Oh, it’s no problem,” Henry’s voice said on the phone. “I’ll send Shawn over with them on his way out. He's going in your direction, anyway.”

In her short tenure as the junior detective to Henry Spencer’s lieutenant, Karen Vick observed two things:

First, that he was a far more clever strategist than most people gave him credit for. Despite the ongoing wreckage of his impending divorce and a kid who was slipping through his fingers as everyone looked on, Karen didn’t agree with the other junior detectives’ impression of him as a smash-the-door-down old school hard ass with thinning hair and a worst attitude. The man played four dimensional chess right out of a bonafide Star Trek episode. When he really wanted something done, Henry Spencer could bullshit and bluff and battle plan with the pros, and half the time you’d get too caught up in the blustering misdirect to realize his game was intricately thought out three steps in advance.

It was how they caught the Shorttown Killer, and also how they got that idiot Trembley at the mayor’s office to finally replace their coffee maker. Karen went home to her then-boyfriend, now-husband, and, right before bed, pulled out an old school workbook and took notes.

The second thing was that Henry Spencer loved his son. 

Not a lot has changed since then, Karen thinks, staring down the weirdness that she now faces through her open front door.

“… Oh — Mr. Spencer,” Karen says, because it’s rude not to greet your employees when they show up at your home outside of work hours, and are also your old friend-slash-colleague’s kid. “Hello. Thanks for — bringing these over.”

“Dad said it was urgent,” Shawn says.

Urgent isn’t quite how Karen would describe it, but hearing through the grapevine that your department might be facing an audit sometime in the next quarter does light a fire under the proverbial ass. Karen would rather bend a few rules and make sure the last year’s i’s and t’s are dotted and crossed right than leave her detectives vulnerable to the whims of a mayoral stooge. 

In general, Karen prides herself on caring about the people under her command just enough that it inspires genuine friendship and loyalty. The just is important. Care needs tempering – it’s important to pull back, press pause, keep certain lines uncrossed. It’s especially important if you want to be successful as a woman in an authority position where lives are often on the line. 

What she’s saying is that she tries to make it none of her business what her employees get up to in their spare time. She really genuinely does. She’s shut O’Hara down gently midway through the twelfth sweetly-frazzled attempt to overshare about her dating life (or her efforts to befriend her next-door neighbor, or the endearing personality quirks of her last cat – rest in peace, Triscuit, you will be missed –) enough times to be well-versed in the art of I Won’t Ask, You Won’t Tell, But You’ll Probably Know I Care Anyway.

An invaluable rapport to maintain. In any situation, Karen thinks, but especially when you’re a person who regularly hires and works alongside Shawn Spencer.

She’s not sure whether what she’s looking at right now makes her want to second guess or double down on her usual policy. 

“Special delivery,” Shawn adds, like everything is super normal.

Karen narrows her eyes. She glances behind them into the quiet residential street.

“Shawn,” she says.

“Yes, Chief?”

“You didn’t drive here, did you?”

“Ha,” he says, half rolling his eyes to accompany a weird aborted grin. “No. Even I don’t think riding a motorcycle with a concussion is a good idea. What if someone who wasn’t me got hurt? That’s — that would be no good, then you’d have to arrest me. Wouldn’t that be a huge bummer for the whole team, Chief? Gus would cry. And my dad wouldn’t let me take his truck.”

Karen stares at him. Shawn stares at the ground.

“I got a cab,” he says.

“And you are … taking another cab – home?”

Shawn looks quite suddenly like he’s going to be sick.

“Sure,” he says. 

Shawn looks terrible. Bruised face, bags under his eyes, and a weird frenetic energy twitching in his limbs that doesn’t pair well with his general air of exhaustion. He’s holding his shoulders stiffly and can barely meet her eye. His t-shirt and sweatpants are rumpled, like he slept in them, even though it’s too early in the evening for Henry to have woken him up to send him here, and when he thrusts the promised files out into the air toward her, abrupt and, admittedly, Shawn-like, he only just hides the awkward wince that immediately overtakes his left side.

The last couple days have been a bit of a whirlwind, so Karen can’t say she necessarily blames herself for not looking more closely. 

Even so.

Slowly, Karen reaches forward and divests him of the case files. They slip a little bit, because Karen can’t seem to stop peering shrewdly at Shawn’s face while she does it, and on instinct he reaches forward to stop the stack from toppling. 

It does help, but the autopilot he moves on makes it harder to mask what is to Karen’s eyes a very obvious flinch. 

“Alright,” is all he says. “Well, good to see you. Time to head back to the old hay stack.”

Like a needle in a haystack and time to hit the hay, Karen supplies needlessly in her own head. Aloud, she says, in many ways against her better judgment, 

“Mr. Spencer, are you okay?”

Shawn sways on the spot for a second, one fist clenched, mouth half open. For a strange moment, Karen gets the impression that he’s trying really hard not to say the wrong thing.

“... As rain,” he finally manages, then nods to himself like he achieved some great feat. “Okay. Well –”

“Did something happen to your shoulder?” 

“What? No!” Shawn’s eyes flutter closed and he shakes his head, “I’m – fine, Chief. It’s not – I mean, I’m – normal, fine. Fine in a normal way.”

“That’s not something an individual who’s fine in a normal way would say,” Karen says. 

“Uh, is it not! It is. I would know, because I am that individual. It’s – I was – there’s just mild – pfft … stab wound – or something, who would even …”

Is Shawn broken? is the unhelpful thought that pops into Karen’s head. She’s never heard an attempt to bullshit collapse so quickly into pathetic nothingness before – certainly not from Shawn.

Perhaps even more than his father, the kid’s a pro.

And then the rest of the sentence catches up with her.

“A mild stab wound?”

Oh boy. She watches Shawn’s eyes widen with the panic that proceeds an unquestionable blunder.

“Chief –” 

“In.”

“Chief, I really, really don’t think –”

“Inside my house. Now.”

He’s certainly uncoordinated enough that he doesn’t put up much of a fight. Karen herds him  through the door as firmly as possible and leads them in a beeline past Richard’s office toward the bathroom, ignoring the reedy stream of consciousness that spills out of Shawn’s mouth as they go.

“Oh, hey, woah, it’s been like forever since I was in here. Did you redecorate? I swear that lamp wasn’t there the last time we visited. It could be the tacos I had earlier, but I’m sensing a distinct neo-modern Chinese aesthetic going on here, Chief, which calls to mind the merits of cultural appreciation in suburban home decor – hey, is that your husband’s office? Can I meet him? Is he home? That man is a true enigma to us, Chief, and it’s leading me to believe that he must possess all the facial and personality qualities of the pop superstar Mr. Pitbull Worldwide –”

Richard is home, actually, and Karen needs to alert him to the fact that they have an unexpected house guest, so, ignoring Shawn completely, she calls out,

“Honey? Shawn Spencer’s here for a couple minutes about a work thing! I’ll go up to put Iris to bed in a second!” in the finely-honed There Are Many Layers Of Complicated To This secret married tone that Richard should probably be able to catch through the closed office door. 

“Alright,” floats out her husband’s pleasant voice. “Tell him hi from me.”

Perfect. There’s about a ninety-three percent chance he understood.

They make it to the bathroom, only stumbling slightly. Shawn says,

“-- or The Rock. Does your husband look like Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson? I really think that would make so many things about the Chief Vick family make sense –”

Karen closes the bathroom door with a snap and crosses her arms.

“Sit,” she says, in a voice that even he knows brooks no argument.

Shawn does. He looks – well, beyond uncomfortable, and more than a little bit miserable, and probably closer to completely dissociating than either of them are prepared for. Karen wonders belatedly if he's gotten any sleep at all in the last forty-eight hours.

“I’m assuming you have not been to the hospital.”

He gives her a baleful look, like he really expected better of her. She only just stops herself from rolling her eyes in response. And there’s that huge goose egg on his forehead, too. What, exactly, he got up to in between Carlton’s wedding reception and oh-eight-hundred hours this morning Karen has no idea, but he looks like someone’s run him through the world’s most aggressive industrial tumble dry cycle and spat him mercilessly back out. 

Or maybe over with a truck.

Sending a silent prayer to the universe that Iris never hit puberty and remains a sweet-tempered six-year-old forever, Karen gets to business.

“Well, I had to at least ask. Shawn. Does it need stitches?” He mumbles the answer the first time, and then looks beyond startled when she grabs him under the chin so he’ll look her in the eye. “Listen. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. But you’re going to tell me the truth. Got it?”

Shawn grimaces so hard at her words it’s almost a flinch. 

“No,” he says finally, clearly enough that she hears him. Karen raises an eyebrow. “No, I don’t think it needs stitches,” he articulates, but doesn’t meet her eye.

“Hm. Alright. I have gauze and tape in the medicine cabinet. Can I … is it alright if I pull up the sleeve of your t-shirt?”

Released from her hold, he groans and presses his face into one palm. “Chief –”

“I don’t really know what you expected, coming here! It’s not like I’m any less of a hardass than your father.”

“Yeah, but I can bitch back at my dad,” Shawn says, sounding like he’s finally realizing the magnitude of his mistake. Karen smiles grimly.

“Tough. Now pull your shirt up while I get the first aid kit.”

While Shawn proceeds to wrestle awkwardly with his t-shirt in a muted shuffle against the toilet seat, Karen rummages efficiently through the cabinet and eyes him through the bathroom mirror. He seems oddly reluctant to expose himself. In fact, in a stark contrast to his usual insistence on making his presence and contributions as obtrusively obvious as possible, Shawn seems intent on shrinking into the aforementioned Asian-flavored floral wallpaper (which does need an update, unfortunately) with all the equanimity of an anxious chameleon. Karen feels her eyebrows crease. Taking the first aid kit in hand, she brings it over and deposits it into his arms, ignoring his small startle.

“How about you hold that,” Karen says. Shawn does, against his chest, like a pillow. She walks around him and surveys the damage, antiseptic gauze in hand.

He wasn’t lying about the severity, at least. It’s a shallow thing, already mostly congealed, and has only stained his shirt in a small smattering spot of crusty brown blood.

Karen swabs at it with the alcohol using light careful fingers.

“Ow, ow ow ah –”

“Don’t be such a baby. It’s hardly a life-threatening injury.”

“Super insightful, Chief,” Shawn snaps, as genuinely sarcastic as he’s probably ever been with her, “never thought of that myself. Totally the reason why I just had to go to the hospital.”

He doesn’t pull away, but she can feel the tension radiating through his back. She blinks, one eyebrow crawling up her forehead. 

Alright then. So that’s how it’s going to be. 

“I’m assuming your father doesn’t know about this,” she says.

Shawn grunts, noncommittal. Huh. Maybe he does know, then, and has just been disallowed from doing anything about it right now.

She tosses the first used antiseptic wipe into the trash.

Goddamn four dimensional chess.

She supposes she’s never been bad at the game. She may as well work her way backwards through the moves: Guster, the most obvious node in Shawn’s turn-to-in-a-crisis-system, would never voluntarily abandon his friend in a time of need, so Karen assumes that whatever this is has either already included his support or not been made known to Gus at all yet. Henry’s likely exhausted his own usefulness in the situation, and Detective O’Hara is …

Karen has to work very hard for her hands not to pause in a way that gives away her hard-earned mental sleuthing. A bad feeling wholly unrelated to her ill-advised hangover of the day before begins to bloom at the back of her gut.

“You have really small hands, Chief.”

Shawn’s voice is notably more subdued than before.

“Do I?” 

“They’re like … little kangaroo hands. Like the mom kangaroo from Whinnie the Pooh.”

“Didn’t you know?” Karen says, not unkindly. “They’re given out at the hospital when all first-time moms leave with their baby.”

He lets out a tired little laugh, more boyish than he probably means it to be, and in spite of herself Karen feels her heart clench. She isn’t blind. In all her last seven years as the leader of their chaotic little precinct, she has never seen Juliet O’Hara look as ill as she did yesterday morning. The usually sweet-faced young woman had all the pallor of a Victorian ghost, and stood so far away from Shawn in any given room that to an unassuming observer he might have had the plague.

There are only a handful of things, Karen thinks, that could have invited that particular evolution in their dynamic. She rips the surgical tape from its canister a little bit more harshly than is strictly necessary and fights the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose between her fingers.

“So,” she says conversationally, laying the tape down in neat, gentle little strips, trying not to pinch the wound too tightly. “Any fun plans for the evening?”

Shawn sniffs. She can see him gripping his hands together over his knee from where she stands above him.

“Um, yeah, uh –” he clears his throat, “you know me, Chief. We’re working our way through a Robert Guillame marathon, which means some good old fashioned Benson, running commentary on the quality of that child acting, naturally.”

“Naturally.” 

“Then Gus and I were gonna hit up the new, the new chili cheese joint up by Hermosa, you know – they’re doing sliders –”

“Chili cheese sliders?” Karen hums, contemplative.

“Buy ‘em by the pound,” Shawn agrees. “Then I was thinking of getting a tattoo, maybe a belly button piercing, I’ve been really – really needing a change – would you let Iris get one, if she asked?”

“A tattoo?” Karen clarifies, cutting off the next piece of tape. The skin around the cut is warm to her touch but Shawn’s arms have goosepimpled. The hair at the back of his head sticks up unstyled, like he slept weirdly and couldn’t be bothered to fix it come morning.

“Of a marmoset. That’s what I’m thinking. With distinctly effeminate vibes.”

“Well, Dick hates marmosets. So I’d probably encourage her toward something else. Perhaps a sea lion.”

“Like Shabby.” The nervous note has bled into his legs again, and his earlier subdued tone has gone back to sounding strained. “Yeah, that’ll – that could be it.”

“All in one night, huh?” Karen says.

“I –” Shawn doesn’t even hiss when she presses down with a cotton gauze to cover the last of the thickened blood. His legs are properly jittering again. “I was – yeah, y-you know me, Chief, total night owl.”

“Shawn?”

“Yeah?”

“What about going home?”

Silence. Shawn doesn’t answer for a moment long and pregnant enough that Karen wonders if her question will be ignored entirely. 

Then,

“Chief,” he says finally, in an awful, tiny little voice, “I really, really fucked up.”

Finally, her hands do falter in their ministrations; as emotionally exuberant as Shawn often is, she doesn’t think she’s ever actually heard him close to tears. For a horrible moment she wonders if Shawn Spencer will suddenly start crying atop her toilet seat for reasons neither of them are capable of discussing honestly. Then she wonders if her horror makes her a terrible boss.

Boss – mother – person.

Oh, dear.

She sets down the surgical tape and lays a ginger palm over the newly-bandaged gouge in his shoulder. It’ll probably scar, but not at all badly. She doesn’t like to think about the far more obvious one just below, puckering in a violent yet unassuming divot. Another narrow miss for Henry’s boy. 

At this point there are so many of them to count, Karen has to question the statistical likelihood of the whole thing. Becoming a mathematical anomaly is, Karen can attest with confidence, not exactly the future the Lieutenant Spencer she knew dreamed of for his increasingly unmanageable teenager. 

Doing what he loved, on the other hand – absolutely. Being with a person he loved, even more so. Karen grits her teeth at the irritating web she’s spent the last six years constructing around herself and wonders if this evening right here is some kind of cosmic karma for leaving Iris in the care of nannies for the first three years of her life.

That sounds like the kind of thing those horrible parenting magazines and Karen’s mother-in-law would claim, anyway.

“Shawn,” she says slowly, because she has to at least knock this possibility off the list before risking her career in an attempt to mediate her detectives’ love lives, “did you … you weren’t – unfaithful, were you?”

“What?!” 

Shawn yanks his shoulder away and whirls around to face her with such a look of horrified betrayal on his face that it’s almost comical. 

“No!” 

Thank fucking God, Karen thinks. Aloud, she says,

“Well, I’m sorry, I had to at least ask!”

“No! No! What the hell, Chief!”

“Oh would you be quiet! I’m gathering my evidence here!”

“How could I – I would never – you’d even think that I could –”

“I know! Shawn, for God’s sake –” He’s scrambled to his feet in the cramped bathroom space, glaring, and has probably messed up all that surgical tape in the process. The half open first aid kit and his crumpled shirt press lopsided against his front and her garbage can is now full of oxidizing bits of cotton. Karen officially gives in to the urge to press her palms against her forehead. “I had to ask!” she repeats finally. “You and I both know you’re not gonna give me much else to work with, and you sounded so – so sad!” 

Shawn barks out a hysterical little laugh. Karen almost growls in frustration. 

“I am not going to risk all the very hard-earned rules I have in place without knowing for sure that my instincts aren’t wrong. Is that so hard to appreciate?”

Does it count as sound police work when the framework for your investigation is an unacknowledged lie? Karen doesn’t really know. Probably there’s another math metaphor to be made in there (you screwed your proof from the very beginning, maybe, Richard the professor would definitely have thoughts), or just a straight up joke. How to solve a case that’s cold before it ever has the chance to go live; a cover-up if she ever saw one. Unlikely that O’Hara will peep a word, and things will be a true mess for a few weeks, if she can’t make an educated guess about it. And no one will be explaining anything to Carlton, either …

Right before their goddamn audit, Karen thinks, aggrieved. She wonders if Henry considered this in his calculus. Send Shawn over, have her deal with him. Offer a huge unspoken you’re gonna be walking into a shitstorm tomorrow canary for her perennially chaotic mess of a coal mine. 

She can’t help but feel begrudgingly grateful, but that doesn’t mean she and he won’t be having words about this later.   

“Jesus, Karen,” Shawn mutters, pressing his face back into his free hand. Karen shakes her head and squares her shoulders.

“Well then! Back to the issue. You fucked up.”

“You know what? I can’t talk about this with you.”

“Oh, Mr. Spencer, I assure you I am more than well aware.”

Shawn blinks at her between his fingers, looking genuinely confused for the first time since he showed up at her door. 

Karen does not bother to clear up his confusion; it’s better this way, anyhow.

“Will you be sleeping at Gus’s place or your father’s?” she asks, crossing her arms.

“I’m – I don’t –” Shawn doesn’t meet her eye. The earlier thread of anxiety is back. “I wasn’t …”

So, neither. 

“Put your shirt back on,” she says. “We’re relocating to the living room.”

“Chief –”

“That was an order, Mr. Spencer.”

The living room is as quiet and mundane as it was an hour ago. It’s past Iris’s bedtime – she’ll have to go up, and soon at that. Karen seats her guest, retrieves a mug and a bag of chamomile from the kitchen, and removes the fluffy throw blanket from the basket behind the couch on her way back in. He’s deflated completely by the time the tea and blanket are set in front of him. Small and exhausted. Caught. It’s a horrible way to think about it. But she can’t avoid the hundred yard stare – Karen has seen it one too many times in people only just realizing they’re about to go away for life.

“Shawn,” she says, firm as she can make it. “Drink the tea. You’re dehydrated.”

“I’m … what?”

“Your lips are dry. You shouldn’t be dehydrated with a concussion.”

He doesn’t say anything for a minute, and Karen suddenly wonders if he’s going to get up and leave. She has experience with these things – she knows a runner when she sees one.

“I might as well have,” Shawn finally whispers.

She doesn’t catch it the first time. “What?”

“I – I might as well ha – Chief, I …” Deep shuddering breaths. He’s finally shutting down, she realizes. She can’t send him back out like this; Henry would give her the stink eye for a month.

Goddamn Spencers and their goddamn irritating overcomplicated lives.

Karen pushes the tea directly into his hands and tilts her chin so she can meet Shawn’s eye. He’s still lucid enough that she doesn’t think he’ll start hyperventilating, but now that the outrage and adrenaline has worn off, the symptoms of shock are pretty hard to miss. “Shawn,” she says again, and wills for him to understand.

“What if she – what if I never –” He can’t get the full sentence out. He looks at her, eyes wide and terrified.

Life sentence, Karen thinks again. The messy stack of files Shawn brought over sits almost unimportantly on the coffee table between them and a memory comes to her, unbidden, of words penned carefully in the corner of a modified police report that she pulled the minute the door closed on the McCallum case seven years ago. 

Date: May 4th, 1995. Reporting Officer, Spencer, Lt. H. Perpetrator a caucasian male, brown hair, five foot nine, insists on wearing those stupid earrings just to spite me. What the hell do you want me to write here, Chief? Spent two hours in the fucking principal’s office convincing them not to expel him one month off from graduation. All that effort, and I still booked the kid. It’s gonna follow him for life, and it’s gonna be me that did it to him. For life. You think he’ll ever forgive me? He’s the greatest thing in my pathetic little world and he keeps breaking my heart, and I can’t even properly accept that it’s my fault. 

How’s that for a fucking crime.

She needs to go put her daughter to bed. It’s the thought that keeps running through her head, oddly enough, like a strange antidote to the impotent anger and heartbreak and frustration she’s feeling for the people under her care.

With all the notes she took in that little workbook, she still let herself become complicit in the painstaking, convoluted resolution of Henry’s mistakes without accounting for all the variables.  

Richard’s footsteps sound muffled in the next room; he’s made his way upstairs in Karen’s absence. She needs to go. She wants to hear the soft and sleepy love you Mama that with her unpredictable hours and regular long nights isn’t nearly routine enough.

“Shawn,” she says evenly. “Do you love her?”

It’s hard to reconcile the smarmy kid who tried to barter with her for twelve hundred a day with the devastated young man sitting on the couch in front of her.

“Chief …” he starts, barely above a whisper.

“Good. Then she’ll see that. Detective O’Hara is a smart and observant woman. What she chooses to do next is her decision, but … you might be – well, comforted by the fact that she’ll know that – truth.”

Shawn stares at her. The tea steams in front of him, cooling in increments. She takes a deep breath and gets to her feet, patting his uninjured shoulder brusquely. 

“I have to go check on Iris. When I come back down, I can drive you to the Psych office.”

Iris is fast asleep when she gets there. A library book lays open face down over her stomach, and her soft brown hair fans out against the pillow, silhouetted by the soft glow of the unicorn nightlight in the wall above her. Karen turns off the bedside lamp, tucks her daughter in, and kisses her forehead. Just before she leaves, she hears it: murmured, half-awake.

“Love you, Mama.”

“I love you too, baby.”

Karen goes back to her living room, car keys in hand. She’s planned her next move in the driver’s seat enough times throughout her career that it shouldn’t be too hard. 

[strawglicks]

something i really wanna see explored more in TTCC lore overtime is how Cogs. Inc affects the cogs themselves. the individual workers and the company are not one in the same, and i think thats smth that never gets discussed.

while i think the toons are obviously in the right for protecting their lands, i think there are many cases in some of the individual managers where it is clear that this is not a black and white, good and evil issue.

Misty is probably the most obvious case here, being that they dont even have any desire to fight the toons and instead wants to be friends with them. Misty is probably one of the most controversial characters due to this, being that fandom looooves to take morally grey/complex characters and devolve them to either "perfect innocent wittle angel" or "demonic demon from hell", completely erasing the original character's complexities and flaws. the things that makes them..them. the things that make them interesting. and it sucks to watch ppl erase characters like this. (I could do a full analysis on her and probably will but it would be some time i have to refresh myself a bit on her)

That "good vs evil" view that toontown originally built itself on was challenged by TTCC's manager cogs when they were given more depth. and a lot of people who loveee to see things in black and white dont like characters such as misty challenging their point of view. and its saddening.

i personally love to see this built and expanded upon. i LOVE that TTCC focuses on the individual cogs and makes them. well. individuals. rather than focusing on the big bad company as a whole. theres no doubt Cogs Inc is terrible. so imagine how terrible it is for the workers serving said company.

"they applied for the position" yea so like theres a fancy thing called rent. in a world of capitalism like this, cogs need jobs and money to support themselves. (some proof of this being an issue for the cogs is graham freaking out at the end of MOTM when his chances of getting the job are threatened and he says his "life is in jeopardy". NO ONE talks abt this btw.) i think once again this excuse drives from people focusing on the big bad company rather than the individuals. so lets talk about the individuals.

Mary Anna. She applied for the position because she believes toons are the issue, they are the ones polluting the waters and environment, and she has good intentions joining this company and trying to put a stop to them. How he came to this conclusion is unknown, but does Cogs Inc give a shit? No. they care abt hiring employees so they can make money and function as a business. so, knowing mary is wrong, they do nothing to change it and simply use her beliefs to their advantage to keep her hired and doing her job.

You know whats funny? Most of the fandom either flat out ignores him or makes him out to be a complete idiot for thinking toons pollute the environment. Mary may be wrong, but his intentions are proof that cogs are not just. blank slates. And people HATE thinking deeper than just black and white. So they hate cogs like Misty and Mary and put them down for challenging their view.

You could go on and on, case by case. TTCC PURPOSEFULLY builds on these characters so you AVOID that boring black and white view of "toons good, cogs bad". I think the situation is more like "toons good, Cogs Inc. bad".

Companies like this destroy both outsiders and the people within the company. And so far, TTCC has done a good job displaying that. and people choose to ignore it. and it saddens me.

[basedhighsenberg]

I promised y'all a rant about some of my employees the other day- after sitting on it for a few days I decided that it's worth mentioning but also "it is what it is".

I have a really really really good boss, probably one of the better people I've ever worked for. He's a year older than me and not a corporate drone which is nice. But he's also just a really good human and is very understanding when it comes to scheduling and work-life balance, such that if you give him notice about something and, especially if it's family related, he's going to find coverage for you and make it work so you can get time off.

I have three coworkers between the age of 22-24, all three are LDS. Two are girls, one is a guy who is in college. The sociopathy comes into play because all three of them take advantage of my boss SO fucking hard and it's getting to the point that I'm having trouble respecting them as people.

For context- the two girls have essentially abused my bosses good nature and now have "family events" and requests for time off 2-3 times a month for 2-3 days at a time.

Two weeks ago my boss was taking us out for dinner, on his own dime, because we made max sale quota in August. 30 minutes before we're supposed to go to dinner, the two girls were ranting in the store about how they want to make Tik Toks on company time about the "dos and dont's of going to a jewelry store". I tried to give them a heads up about our company policies involving that shit- not that I actually care, but if they plan on trying to monetize their videos and they have the store logo/brand visible, they're going to get sued. They responded by laughing and acting like children saying "who gives a fuck I don't care if I get fired by [company] it doesn't matter".

If it were up to me, I probably would have fired them on the spot for that. But it's not, so I let my boss know that this is how they were acting IMMEDIATELY BEFORE HE TOOK THEM OUT TO DINNER ON HIS DIME and he has yet to confront them about it. I can tell he is extremely hurt by how they were acting but he is trying to pretend like everything is fine.

Onto the guy. The guy in college is supposed to be our 3rd full time manager/keyholder, but since September he has been all "sorry school bye" and now will not work more than 24-26 hours a week, despite promising to make his school schedule work in exchange for us giving him the manager position. He is also now a complete finance bro and it's getting insufferable, most notably because of his endless prattling on about his "prestigious marketing program" at BYU that he will launch into 3-4 times a shift. Moreover, the other week we were discussing an issue in the store over a group chat and he interrupts the conversation, which was a little heated, to bug all of us about taking a survey for him for school. With his complete lack of awareness of all things going on around him, he's non-functional as a manager but refuses to step down because he wants the pay.

We're about to go into the busiest time of year, and my boss is beside himself some days because he's realized that none of these people are reliable employees anymore, inspite of him bending over backwards to try and accommodate them. The girl moving to Florida promised she'd stay through the holidays but I don't see her making it through November. The other girl is very impressionable and would actually be a model employee if not for the first girl, but the longer they're together at work the more likely it is we're gonna lose her too. College boy openly talks about leaving Utah as soon as he graduates so he's a problem with a expiration date.

I do not have the same managerial tact that my boss does, I would be less accommodating and much less forgiving of this behavior. But I am not my boss and don't have the ability to do anything about it- expect show up each day and be polite, but also act like God send me as a punishment to these sociopathic idiots to protect my bosses good nature.

Or, I can clock in, abide, and clock out. We'll see.

[rockintapper]

hi again!!!!!1

the 1first one, the 2second one

heres me saying stuff about rhythm heaven fever charactersss yaaaayyyy

title girl - pres A and B to start!; what have they done to you

marshal, cam, and miss ribbon: the sillies ever hellooo hiii yayyy,,

monkey and mandrill (hole in one): someone in a yt comment section headcanoned that these two were gods. uh

golfer - is your foot okay

robot (gray/grey): oh, yeah!

robot (white): let's go! (screwbot factory 2 is so fun to play ^_^)

see and saw: YAOIIIIIIIIIIIIII

a boy/kouhai: autism be damned my guy can KICK /silly

his crush/senpai: ngl if i were kouhai i'd be blushing too

weasel couple: why is the girl weasel pink. why. why. why. w

fork: fork

monkey (tambourine): YOURE SO CUTE I WANNA SQIUSH YOU RHAUHURHUAHRAUHHRAHRAHARHU

frogs (tambourine): guh

the executives: they make good points. [spinning in a chair]

assistant: woouohwouuouwowuuowuuH

small monkeys: GOD I LOVE MONKEY WATCH /ref

monkey (remix 2): why is the girl monkey pink. why. why. why. w (shes serving though)

dough dudes: thats what theyre called???

mr. game and watch: what's a guy like you doin in a game like this? /silly

widget: hi widgets (i love built to scale 2 rhf)

baxter and forthington: YAOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

muscle doll: [heavy sigh]

reporter: wubadubaduba, 'zat true?

wrestler: e.

employee #333-4-591032: is munchy momnk your cousin or something /pos

microbe: THEYRE COLORED LIKE IKIGUSARE /VVVVPOS

demons: STOP STEALING FROM PEOPLE

pinwheel girl: gender? i barely know her

another child: wait i thought that was the pinwheel girls mom. wdym shes Another Child /gen

ann glerr: she has muscles. Muscles. character made specifically for lesbians /j

quicknibble: tniy snalll lmaoooo

pausegill: pausegill what the fuck /ref

threefish: once you get the hang of threefish, catch of the day is gg ez no re (<- got it immediately)

captain tuck: he'd be a polar bear. prove me wrong /j; him in the superd screen AHHH /VPOS

flippers: the cuties wauuwiuawuaiwa <333

pitcher: fuckin idiot hats what you get for cheating /lh

slugger:SLUGGER??? S;UGG??ER/ SLIUGG??? SWLUD?? SLGU..?? SLUG??? Watashime S

the huebirds of nah im skipping this one

rhythm rockets: no way its rocket rhythmrocket on tumbler!!! i didnt know they were in this game!! /silly

uh… those guys?: donk DWONK!; man. donk-donk gives me so much joy forever. i love donk-donk.

bossa and nova: they would do so many arts and crafts projects together <3

love posse ft. mc adore: into you! (into you!) (love rap is kinda hard for because i keep tapping too early :( )

the tall TAPPPEOPFWHOULWRIBUILRBVBWEFYBNOIQDWR3YW808u(&^^^^#$q@#%^THE TAPT T AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

the shrimp scamperers: you will never be them /j

school library pep squad: let's everybody go! yay!

bunny man: bunny man 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

girl from samurai slice 2: YAAAAY SHES SO HAPPY AAUHIGHLFVHUBFW THE CUTIE YAYYY

the dough person from working dough 2: what's in that cup. what does that Liquid taste like. is it tea

lady golfer: so proud of her transition <3 /j

cat: Cat. C (hi kasper)

pigeon (hato-kun): boy why you so eepy

clock (mezamashi-kun):if i was that pigeon id have such a negative reaction to that ringing (i hate alarms

beans (omame-chan): i almost didnt notice you hello hi

lady cupid: her and love-san HATE each other /silly

kasuke and kosuke: YURIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

girl's basketball team: why is the hoop alive

frog and frog princess: what if people mistake them for a roach and

chameleon: a precursor to that chameleon minigame in megamix

flies: whats the point of this one

clap trap doll: people Despise you and im curious as to why

driver: tHE FUCKING CHICKNE??? FROM

lieutenant: it's you!

police call guy MY SON HE HAS EVERY DIEASE THE CUTIE THE SILLY MY BABY MY BOY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANNA CRUSH HIM LIKE A BUG /VAFF

mr. hi-hat: if you were used in a normal drum set you would not survive

springs (hi-hat): MR UPBEAT??

rhythm fighters: i dont really care about these guys. uh yaoi

okay thas it.

WOWWOWWOW. OTOKO WA

MISSING YOU SABISHII

OH IT'S BLUE…

CRYING /LY

copy and pasted from notepad in case something happened while i edited this post!

[outivv]

I'm so distraught that there's people out there that fall for da wei's crocodile tears on the stream and going,

"noooo da wei is crying!! 😭 why are you so mean to him! ☹️"

"We must protect da wei from this hateful people, these people is such a lost cause and destroy the game 😞"

"You people is so full of hate!! 🤬".

Dear friends, (/sarc /neg) that is a motherfucking BILLIONAIRE and a FUCKING RACIST OLD MAN. that not just SEXUALIZE WOMEN but also CHILDREN in his oh so lovely games you enjoy! Good GOD they're babying him, maybe it's because he feed these brainwashed people with pretty characters and petty gifts and all that.

also fuck the fellow "boycotters" that says "go f2p guys!!" and then we see them still bought skins, collect hoyo's so called sorry "gifts", and goes "omg thank you hoyoverse for the gifts! we love you! btw stay f2p guys!!! <333" god spineless idiots, i'm so ashamed being in one group with you all.

I'm sorry for venting in your askbox, I don't know where should I go confess my feelings, because there's a lot of the so called "boycotters" running around :"(

Do not even get me started on the whole “omg guys da Wei is crying!!!”

Girl those are complete crocodile tears, stfu- you and da Wei will be FINEEEEE TRUST. TRUST. Bro has to approve most of this shit before it gets sent out, like he’s GOTTA- and the shit that has gotten sent out before has been sexualizing women and children- like you said!! So it’s like girl… girl he knows what he’s doing, HE JUST DOESNT CARE?? Bro if you don’t want you and your employees to be viewed as incompetent- then maybe DONT BE INCOMPETENT 🥰 OR RACIST 🥰 OR PEDOS 🥰

Omg… I’ve seen a few people on twt do that being like “guys make sure to be f2p!!” And then recently being like “wowww I just bought nilou skin!!” “Wowww I just spent money on Emilie banner!!” Stfu go away. Go AWAY. Hold yourself to the same standard you hold others to.

Like I’m happy for hyv’s “gifts” and optimization shit in the upcoming patch- but like 😭 girl that doesn’t mean I’m gonna spend money, they’re optimizing it so you don’t have to spend AS MUCH money- like good lord. Girl I’ll be saving for most of natlan if not all of it 🫡, maybe pull a character or two, but I’m not spending SHIT. Completely just… those people are boycotting for show, which is disgusting as fuck- and I hope their computer breaks.

Don’t be sorry for venting, it’s all good!! Gives me an excuse to messily ramble on about how much I agree with all of your point BAHAHAH

[insane-control-room]

i dont have a pairing prompt but what if you just put some guys in a situation - working for the company? :3

tysm for the prompt <3

Coi_ Factory

Jack's in a bad mood. T'ḥiát takes care of it. May has a not great time.

ft. @greenghostlyjekyll's Jack & @ichaisme's May :3 based on a real conversation lmao

words: 1,250 general fic warnings: light/playful violence; coil-heads

Fic under cut!

Generally, Jack was pretty chill, T'ḥiát would tell you. But really, you should not trust T'ḥiát’s opinion for diddly squat, as they tended to be an idiot. People who had worked with them would tell you that it must be that TZP that they were constantly inhaling like it was oxygen that muddled their brain to hell and back.

Jack was chill, sure, but they also did not mind if you ended up becoming mulch, as long as quota was hit and enough was made to head out to that desolate, far away planet Titan. 

Jack, dissatisfied with the newbies, and finding that they had lost one of them on quota number two, decided that the 120 chip price was more than sufficient to enlist T'ḥiát’s services once again - an idea assisted by the fact that T'ḥiát’s price of a fresh TZP can (instead of the empty canisters that the company begrudgingly gave them as payment) was 70% off in the shop. Well worth it, in Jack’s eyes. 

Especially after they were bunked up with one of the newbies on the next moon, who asked something so stupid, so ridiculous, so uneducated about Jack’s home planet that Jack only looked at them like they were crazy and stormed off, hoping they would get eaten by a spider or something.

Unfortunately for Jack, the “or something” happened, and that something was ‘got back to the ship only minorly injured from a stupid fall’. 

T'ḥiát, darting around the ship in a spazzing manner that defied some law of physics (clearly trying to savor the canister of TZP, only using it on the moons) noticed their bad mood, and zipped over. 

“What’s the matter, Jacks?” they asked, bouncing up and down. They stilled suddenly, head tilting. Someone who did not know T'ḥiát might have been unnerved. “You seem a bit miffed!” 

“Nothing, nothing, it’s fine, just…” Jack gave a quiet growl. “Somethin’ stupid is all.” 

“You can always talk to me,” T'ḥiát shrugged, hopping up on top of the controls console. “Even if you think it’s stupid, if it’s bothering you, it’s bothering me.”

“Someone just asked me, and I quote,” Jack said, raising their fingers to make bunny ear quotations in the air. “‘Does Titan have coil factories’?”

T'ḥiát stared at them - or one could assume so, by the way their blank visor was pointed directly at them without moving. 

“Oh, no.” they remarked, in denial. “No one could know that little about the moons.” 

“Well, they asked!” Jack gestured without any specific motions. Their helmet was off, so they took the advantage of being able to pinch the bridge of their nose. “Like! Buddy! Where do you think all the damn coil heads come from, Experimentation? Yeah, right, the only good that place is for is faulty V-type engines!” 

“Who asked that?” T'ḥiát wondered aloud. Jack pointed at the person ringing the company bell, and growled, “The FNG, who else?” 

“I see!” T'ḥiát replied lightly. “I’ll go give ‘em a talk.”

“You go do that, buddy,” Jack grumbled, though their mood was a little uplifted. “I appreciate it.”

“A lesson they won’t soon forget,” T'ḥiát went on, probably with a smile. Jack blinked, raising an eyebrow. “Bye!”

Jack watched them leave, and put a stick of gum in their mouth contemplatively. 

“Alright. I guess.” 

T'ḥiát came back after a few minutes of chatting with the new employee. 

“Done,” T'ḥiát remarked. “We’re going to Titan next quota.”

--

The snowy expanse of Titan loomed around them. The FNG was already in the complex, gathering loot with T'ḥiát. 

Said addict slammed down into the ship, and nudged Jack. 

“Doing well!” T'ḥiát chirped, then pressed the can of TZP to the inhalation module on their suit for exactly nine seconds. Their voice slightly higher than normal, they went on, “Going back!” 

The next time they came back with a haul, Jack grabbed their arm.

“What did you do to the newbie?” Jack asked. “Why was she so excited to come here?” 

“I told her that there were no coil factories on Titan,” T'ḥiát replied calmly, ignoring the eye twitch that was no doubt occurring behind Jack’s visor. “I told them that there’s a coin factory here and that cash registers are all the rage.”

“Mhm,” Jack contemplated their words for a long moment. Then they nodded. “They're gonna die.” 

“Ya, probably,” T'ḥiát agreed, then their arm was by their side again, as though Jack was never holding it in the first place. “Unless I feel bad enough for them. Well, going back.” 

Jack nodded, and watched them sprint off, chuckling to themself as they went back to the monitor. 

Sure enough, there was a red dot in front of the new guy. 

The new guy was strafing, one inch at a time.

Jack leaned back and smiled.

--

“Uh… can I get a bit of help?” 

The newbie’s distressed voice bounced along the corridors. T'ḥiát sighed, making their way to the sound's origin. 

“Ask nicely!” they called out, gauging the location of the lost employee. “Quick!”

“Please?” 

T'ḥiát came up swiftly, tilting their head and walking up to the coil head. They circled around it, and nodded once. 

“That there’s a coil head, alright,” they commented unnecessarily. The new guy gave a wheeze of fear. “Don’t you worry, I’ll get you out of here just fine. I see you got your cash register. May, was it?”

“Yeah- yes,” May replied, trembling hard. “I want to get out of here. Now.” 

“Calm down princess,” T'ḥiát soothed, shaking their can of TZP. “If you want, you can have a bit of this, it’ll help your nerves. Just promise that you’ll apologize to good ol’ Jack about the coil factories question when we get back. They got pretty offended by it.” 

“I didn’t think that it was an offensive question!” she defended herself with some bewilderment. T'ḥiát sighed and pushed her along. “Where are we going?” 

“Fire exit. Keep moving forward. I’ve got Mr. Crybaby.” 

“Crybaby?” 

“Don’t question it. Make a left. Your other left.” 

“To the glowing red dot?”

“That’s it. Right out there.”

T'ḥiát waited until they heard the door shut behind them before they phased through the crack.

May was breathing hard outside of the door. T'ḥiát nudged her to get her to start moving. 

“You’re a jerk,” May hissed. T'ḥiát shrugged. “I’m going to- to hurt you.” 

“Sure, doll,” T'ḥiát replied, just as peppy as usual. “That’s a nice cash register you’ve got there. Better make it count. Better crack my skull open in one shot.” 

“I’m not going to do that!?” May gasped, shocked. T'ḥiát tilted their head at her as they jumped down onto the lighting - May taking the stairs, like a normal person. They asked; “Why not?” 

“Because- because I’m not going to kill you!” 

“Coward,” T'ḥiát hummed. May stared at them through her visor. “Jack’s probably going to kill me when we get back onto the ship. Be more like Jack.” 

“Why would they kill you when we get back?!”

“You.”

Sure enough, as soon as they stepped onboard, Jack clonked T'ḥiát on the head with a shovel. They dropped like a popped balloon. May did not like thinking about the fact that their suit looked the part.

--

“Why did you save them!?” Jack demanded when they were in orbit again, shaking T'ḥiát violently. They shrugged, now next to the computer and out of Jack’s grip. “T'ḥiát! Stop teleporting!” 

“I don’t teleport. Also - I felt bad.” 

May rang her cash register. 

[nyaruhodou]

WOW some people on tiktok are fucking idiots....

a woman walked up to a group of lifeguards at the beach, filming them and asked "is your job beach?" referencing the barbie movie

and they very clearly misheard her as saying "is this dog beach" which is the name of one of the beaches there. and she captioned the video as them mansplaining the beach to her

one of the lifeguards in the video saw it, and commented that he was not filmed with consent and they got questions all the time about dog beach, hence it was very clearly a misunderstanding and not mansplaining

then people in the replies were like "lol you have no expectation of privacy in public, stupid lifeguard ken" "its not illegal to film people in public spaces" and in general they were just very condescending

i just... how do you live like this? finding it funny to film and laugh at employees just trying to do their job? i really dont care if its legal, its just a fucking shitty thing to do and i hate this new expectation of "you cant be upset" especially when there was no consent and people are making fun of you over something stupid.

[soulsfractured]

23 for Yazoo

16 for Tseng

12 for Kuja

3, 4 for All Listed Muses, not just the three picked above

Random Character Asks

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT ALL MY BABIES. I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH. I really need to write more with everyone at some point, once I get back into the swing of writing again.

It's a bit long so everyones answers are under the cut!

Cyril

3 - Wears glasses because he can't wear contacts they bug his eyes too much. Still wishes he could though because he'd look more like Genesis that way.

4 - "If it could help my dad come back faster? I'm willing to give it a shot. So long as no one gets hurt from it, because then I won't do it."

YOU WANNA SEE ME CRY. Cyril put all his focus into biological sciences bc he wants to help Genesis in every way possible. He just wants to live a quiet life with his dad please let him have this--

Kuja

3 - Absolutely wears a packer, and had his codpiece custom made to fit it. Has thrown it at someone before, will throw it again.

4 - "Peace is but a shadow of death, desperate to forget its painful past... Though we hope for promising years. After shedding a thousand tears, yesterday's sorrow constantly nears. And while the moon still shines blue, by dawn, it will turn to scarlet hue."

Its in there, it's one of my favourites coming from someone who doesn't think he can die. Really makes me wonder if he had suspicions about it, but Garland gaslit him into ignoring those thoughts.

12 - Absolutely has tried to dye his hair and his tail once. It went horribly and he couldn't get all the dye out. It was all a faded blueish colour for weeks

Luneth

3 - His hair is always in his face because he enjoys playing with it/having others play with it. But, he doesn't enjoy it against his neck at the same time so, ponytail. Not really practical, but that's not important.

4 - "Slacking off saved her from the curse, so maybe that 'luck' might rub off on us!"

I cant explain why this one sticks out to me, but Luneth and the rest of the party actually acting like kids and joking around is really sweet? Idk I guess I love that theres a bunch of moments we can see them enjoying their journey and not just be silent strong protagonists.

Sephiroth

3 - Literal cat eyes. They glow, his pupils shrink and widen with mood. He has cat eyes.

4 - "We'll meet again soon."

Just Sephiroth and Zack talking in that entire scene. The small smile when Zack says "I'll hold you to that" the notice that Zack wanted to say something before he left. It's one of my favourite CC Sephiroth moments.

Tseng

3 - Really enjoys wearing longer socks. Knee or thigh high are preferable, and 90% of them are just black. He organizes them so he doesnt grab two different lengths (which has happened a few times before)

4 - "There is nothing more precious than a human life"

It's SUCH a development for me to see Tseng say this. Consider all that he does, and all that he has done. He may commit atrocious deeds for Shinra, but he's failed missions to help random Shinra employees before, he's put himself at risk to protect others.

16 - Tseng's darkest secret that he won't admit is that he absolutely hates Shinra. Without a doubt he does wonder what life would have been like if he stayed in Wutai. Would he have stayed at the Temple? Would he had left anyways? What if what if what if. He will not admit this thought crosses his mind and tries to tell himself it's just hypothetical. But it's a thought that does come up more often just before Rufus becomes president.

Vincent

3 - Refuses to cut his hair. Even a trim it takes a long time to convince him. He's not gonna die anytime soon so whose gonna see the mess it becomes anyways. But he still takes pretty good care of it- mostly

4 - "I don't care what you are doing, so much as the idiotic way that you are doing it."

The tired dad quote of the year bc god dammit the party is a bunch if teenagers and their old man needs a fuckin nap so he can stop telling them dont put that in your mouth

Yazoo

3 - Vegetarian. He just doesnt like meat- usually he just takes whatever meat he gets on food and pushes it to the side or gives it to his brothers. He has picked a burger apart to take the patty out and just eaten it like that, just sides and bun.

4 - "I will not have you refer to Mother that way!"

One of the VERY few times that Yazoo actually shows emotions??? P l e a s e. I love him so much and actually getting to see that cool exterior crack is so interesting.

23 - As a candle Yazoo would be a more woodsy kind of scent. Damp earth, firewood, stagnant waters. There's a slight spice mixed in as well, like a faint hint of cinnamon.

[neonmetro]

What is Veraswamy and Ezras relationship with eachother?

And what are the recreational corpo head girlies' relationships with each other?

SORRY I HAVE JUST BEEN REALLY CURIOUS KGJGJFJGJGJ

-Ulysses loving anon

aishire and veraswamy are very close. veraswamy will defend aishire to the ends of the earth and will always think he's good at heart while aishire now fully depends on veraswamy for anything emotional and believes she can't trust anyone but him anymore (he does believe he's a bad person for manipulating and being so dependent on veraswamy and using him as a social meat shield but he frankly doesn't care anymore because he doesn't Want to change)

ezra and veraswamy are cordial in public tho ezra thinks veraswamy is a wishy washy cowardly idiot while veraswamy thinks she's got her reasons to be so callous right? right? ezra thinks veraswamy's aishire's lapdog while veraswamy thinks ezra is unbelievably greedy and vicious

ezra and aishire get along good but their opinions on each other are . Negative to say the least

aishire has no qualms about how ezra treats her with workers nor her work ethic, but thinks her personality is absolutely foul and insufferable ("she thinks she's so high and mighty? she doesn't even inhale the same air as her employees, she hasn't even dealt with half of the suffering the rest of the city has.") and ezra thinks aishire is a immature hypocrite playing veraswamy like a fiddle ("she thinks she's a living breathing genius? what a joke, she throws a tantrum at the slightest criticism.")

i dont have a relevant image actually have this aishire

[arctic-pop]

Bangchan vs Home Depot Manager

‐-------------------------------------

----‐------------------------------------

Bangchan x reader

Warnings: none

Imagine: bangchan defends you from your mean home depot boss

----------------------------------------------------

You sigh, just another boring day working at home depot. You were working outside in the garden area, its dirty but you dont mind it. Youre not like the other home depot employees, you actually like being outside. You were getting a plant vase when all of a sudden, someone bumped into you!! The vase dropped, shattering and even pieces of it cutting your cheek. "Ah! Hey!!" You turn around. It was your boss!!

"Stupid YN!" He yelled. "Thats home depot property you just broke!! You lost the company money! I cant believe they hired a woman. Youre too weak to work here!"

You start tearing up. But he just continues yelling "idiot women are too weak and dumb. Now you owe us money!"

All of a suddem you hear another voice behind you. "Hey!" It said.

You turn around, youre hair whipping in the wind. You find a beautiful boy with blue hair along with a bunch of other super cute guys. When youre eyes met, you blushed and he seemed to be struck too. But then he went up to your boss. "She wasnt too weak to hold it, you bumped into her and now youre bullying her for it!"

"Who the freak do you think you are?"

"Im bangchan, and Im not an idiot like you obviosuly. Women arent weak or stupid. You need to apologize. Or else."

Banchan looked so menacing it made you pee your pants a little bit. His dark eyes bored into your boss's skull. The rest of the gang stood by him also menacingly. Still your manager didnt back down. "Or else what?"

Bangchan pushed you behind himself protectively, then with his muscely arms, he wound up and threw up punch right on your managers face!!

The manager started to cry and ran away. Bangchan turned around to you. He saw the cut on your cheek and put his hand there. "Are you okay??"

You blushed furiously with his warm hand on your face, a hand that had fought for you! "Im- im okay. Thank you so much!!" You teared up again.

"I just cant believe he was bullying you like that. Why dont you quit if your boss is so mean?

"I cant- i have to take care of my family."

He nodded , his fluffy blue hair bouncing. "By the way, can you show me where plumbing is?"

"Of c-c-course." You stuttered a little, still flustered from when his hand had gently touched your face. You started walking to plumbing, the group of boys behind you.

"What do you need in plumbing?

"The biggest plunger you have"

One of the boys in the back spoke up. "Bangchan pooped so hard it clogged the whole houses plumbing!!"

Bangchan blushed and smacked the back of his head. "Shut up hyunjin!! Its a lie. The toilet just broke cuz its old."

"Its okay, "you said. "Our toilet is clogged too but i cant afford a plumber." You want to tear up, thinking about all the money your parents waste on drugs and alcohol, but you push back the tears.

You found the plungers, grabbed the biggest one home depot offered, and handed it to him.

Your hands brushed as he grabbed it and you quickly drew your hand away to brush your hair out of your face in embaressment.

"Cute" he whispered under his breath.

"What?"

"Oh heck did i say that out loud?"

All the guys started laughing at him, one of them rolling on the floor. It made you giggle.

"Do you need anything else?"

"No this is it"

You start to turn around when he suddenly reached out and grabbed your arm, "Wait!"

You turn around. "Yes?

"Will you go out with me?"

You gasped, so excited. "Of, of course!!"

"Ill take you on the nicest date ever, and then I can go over and use my new plunger to fix your toilet too."

"But but i cant pay you-"

"Its for free. Cause I like you, YN"

"No ones ever done this for me... can i hug you?"you ask.

He smirked and opened up his arms. You ran to him. Wrapping your arms around him, not caring that your still wearing your home depot apron. You can smell the faint odor of poop on him as you hug, breathing in his air, but you dont mind. "Thank you for being my home depot hero"

"Of course baby" bangchan said.

The End

[izzys-corp]

- September- 15th,19--. -

It's late. The suns down, the moon's light glints down on the forest, the wind rustling between the leaves in the trees, just nice, peace and quiet, nothing could ruin such a nic-

???:COME ON IDIOTS! IT'S GETTING LATE! WE NEEDS GET THERE QUICK DAMMIT! I DONT HAVE ALL DAY FOR YOU FUCKERS TO WALK!

Oh, of course. A group of four boys come down the path, a red hair is more further infront of the other three, holding a cay in his right hand, shouting at the other three to hurry up. That boy, is Sean. The other three consist of a gay Blondie, smart black kid, and a emo. These guys are isaac, oswald and felix, in the same order as they where introduced. Oswald held a camera in his hands, isaac held his flashlight, leading the way for them, looking unsure if they should be doing this, or even if they should just be outside, what a fucking loser. Felix just had his hands in his pockets, not caring about what Sean shouted at them.

Sean:GODAMMIT!WALK FASTER CUNTS! ARE YOU TRYING TO PISS ME OFF?!

Oswald:dude, like, chill? It's not like we can be late. The place is shut down.

Oswald giggled at his "joke", or whatever he was trying to say. But either way, the other three started to walk closer to Sean,as they then started to walk down the rocky path, talking all the way down to the place. This place was an older diner that had shut down a long while ago. Izzy's diner. It was a basic place, y'know, decent sized, basic but okay tasting food, nice, cold drinks, and some music playing. But, this place was pretty different, they had thought buisness was pretty slow, and decided they needed something to get more customers, something kids would love and tell their friends who would ask their parents to bring them, and that would loop, and there the idea had came through, the had decided to use animatronics. They spent awhile on making them, and a shit load of money to make them look good. There was four animatronics, a ostrich called Ozzie, a anglor fish called Fangs, a tiger called Stripes, and the main guy, Izzy, a lizard animatronic. They had these had shapes with long, opened Jaws, which could slightly move up and down. Izzy had three green points on the back of his head, a darker green than he was. He was also the shortest, Fangs could also swim in water, by the workers pouring a mixture of chemicals in him, was it safe? Probally not. But eh, was still cool. Though Stripes was known to sometimes to get, "violent". And then, some incident happened where the animatronics when apeshit, Stripes injured three kids and a employee, Fangs had gotten his chemical mixture fucked up and his just kinda stopped working, but before he stopped, he bashed his head against the glass, cracking the glass and breaking the light bulb on a rod on top of his head, which was meant to be like the light on anglor fishes head. His parts slowly came off, like his lower Jaws suit part. Ozzie started biting at everyone he came close to him, but Izzy. Izzy did nothing. He just stood there, still preforming. But of course, the place shut Down. Though they left pretty much everything in the diner, god knows why. Going back to the four, they continued down the path. Isaac looked unsure.

Isaac:I don't know man....We shouldn't do this, I mean, what if we get caught?

Sean:Shut the fuck up pussy. No ones gonna be there, and no one will come aswel, god.

Sean rolled his eyes, as he continued down the path, the others followed him.

-timeskip.-

So, skipping an hour or so, the four arrived at the diner. The signs lights flickered slightly, atleast, some did. Some lights where cracked and broken. Sean walked up to the door, before grabbing the key, shoving it into the lock. Turning to look at the other three.

Sean:Well then, are you guys ready to record the most staged shit, but make it seem so real and so cool people will watch it and believe it and we can make a sick fucking profit off of it!?

He looked at them excitedly. Oswald nodded, not really caring about the actual stuff they where meant to do, he just wanted to explore around the place, Felix couldn't give a fuck, but also nodded, yet Isaac hadn't changed from before, if anything, now just scared.

Isaac:W-we shouldn't do this....we should re-think about thi-

Sean:Well no one cares about what you think you fuck head.

Felix:Wow, rude.

Sean rolled his eyes, flipping Felix off, before turning the key. A click came from the door, as Sean took out the key, and pushed the door open. Grabbing his own flashlight from his pocket, shining it inside

Sean:..perfect.

He stepped inside, the others followed, Isaac took a step back. But Felix grabbed his hand, looking at him.

Felix:Donr worry man, we'll be in here for just some minutes, then we can go open,theres nothing to worry about, we're all here for eachother..except Sean, he's an asshole.

The, the four stepped in. Looking around the place, the tables with old cloths with colourful patterns on them. The chairs pushed out, or in, on the floor, broken, or on the tables. The floor was a purple carpet with some patterns on it, now dusty 'n stuff. The old bar in the corner, the bathrooms at a side, the main check-in desk at the sentence where they entered, a prize counter at the end of a hall, the kitchen with it's door sealed shut, and finally, the main stage,along with fangs uncomfortably large fish tank stage thing, still field with musky, dirty, unclear water. The animatronics still on their stages. All four looked at eachother.

Sean:This is-

Oswald:Cool!

Felix:Stupid as fuck.

Isaac:Creepy..

Sean:..what? The fuck you mean it's scary isaac, just like oswald said, it's cool! Actually, no, it's fucking awesome!

-END OF EP1.-

[snickerdoodlles]

#kinnporsche #necromancy AU #i feel like there's so much im leaving out of this lol #if anyone remember cash from my OC list #he's a reoccurring cast member in this one #because necromancy AU isn't named necormancy AU because of the necromancy #it's necromancy AU because of 2 jokes i wont let die #1. pol screaming every time he sees big #(big's starting to think it's personal 😤😤😤😤😤) #2. big's presence fucking up cash's accounting sheets #those are in fact 90% of what i already have written #also i say im not writing this one but i also wrote more while checking my notes to make this outline #maybe the true necromancy was me resurrecting this WIP along the way #ask game: fics im not writing #OH ALSO #everything of mine has patricide obvs obvs #but my story notes are Literally just #''korn gets eaten by a crocodile'' #i dont even remember how that happens #but thats apparently how korn dies in this one #no reanimation for him

okay so, about the bolded tags -- Cash is my long-suffering accountant OC for kinnporsche. i haven't properly written him into anything except this AU. so here's a few of him ❤️

Cash vs a necromancer's purchase history

Cash has had a very, very, very trying week. 

A full system crash during audit season! A plethora of bribes to clean up a warehouse explosion and minimise news coverage! A glut of new hires to cover replacements and the increased security needs! A jackass stole his lunch from the breakroom fridge! No one holds any respect for this family’s accountants, and they hold even less for the idiot in charge of this department (aka him). Nevermind that the whole bloody castle would come crashing down around their ears if he ever dared take a vacation.

Cash pops back a handful of energy pills and washes them down with a mouthful of coffee that scrapes down his throat like paint thinner. If he’s lucky, his terrible habits will kill him before dinner time, but since he knows he’s not, Cash just sighs and pulls out the folder for the new family accounts. His work pile is neverending, but maybe it’ll run away by the time he finishes this checkup. 

If Cash were one to speculate (which he isn’t), he’d wonder why Khun Korn requested two new allowance stipends for Khun Kinn’s boyfriend and the boyfriend’s brother. Usually, Cash is in charge of paying off the boyfriends and boytoys so that they stay far away and unattached to Khun Korn’s preferred heir. Cash firmly tells himself he still doesn’t care, lest he ask the wrong person the wrong question and get a bullet in his knee for an answer, and checks over the account details to ensure everything’s in place. Fear of Khun Kinn trying to give him another raise keeps Cash from sighing enviously at the account balances, and he quickly moves along. The boyfriend’s brother’s account has already procured several charges, which tells Cash he’s in for a treat with this one. 

Cash opens the details on the charges and nearly walks out right then. Snake blood! Powdered hen’s teeth! Dehydrated newt! What the fuck, why couldn’t this kid just buy questionable porn from shitty sites with more viruses than videos like a normal teenager?

Cash drains the rest of his coffee in one go. How he’d love to kick this up the ladder, how he curses that he’s the top of it.

Cash does not have a contingency for necromancy in his accounting system 💔

Cash and Big cross paths in a hallway

Cash does a double take

Cash books after Big frantically

“COME TO MY OFFICE THERE MUST BE A FUCK UP IN YOUR PAY STUBS”

...

Cash: pretty sure we paid for your funeral too that’s going to be annoying to sort out

Big: [sweats nervously]

Cash makes Big get his affairs in order. Big finds this rather unfair, as he'd been putting this off until death freed him of this responsibility the first time around.

Big looks between Cash and the stack of papers on the desk hopelessly. He didn’t even know the Theerapanyakuls had employee contracts, he’d thought Kinn was joking back then. Rigor mortis is helping his already specular poker face a little too much right now, because Cash is still looking at him staring at his new contract expectantly. 

Big has stared down more intimidating things than an employee contract. He has.

Big takes a breath he doesn’t need. “So I just sign the last page?”

Ooh, wrong answer, definitely the wrong answer, Cash has a wrinkle between his eyebrows now. Big didn’t even know he had the facial muscles for that. 

“No,” comes Cash’s acerbic tone. Big hadn’t known Cash’s voice could come in a pitch other than ‘drone’ before today either. “Someone as rich as you does not get to just sign a page and be done with it.”

Big stares. He’s having an out-of-body experience, but not for the right reasons. 

“I’m what?”

Cash doesn’t sigh or roll his eyes, but Big gets the sudden impression he’s seriously disappointed the accountant.

“You are a multi-millionaire,” Cash repeats, speaking slowly like he’s talking to a child, “At your pay grade with your savings, we can’t just ‘sign a sheet and be done with it’.”

Big has died and returned to life. He can take bullets to the chest without flinching or harm. He survived a whole horror slasher marathon with Tankhun and Chay. Cash’s blank poker face and vague impression of sarcasm make Big want to curl up and hide in shame.

Big stares at Cash blankly, hoping for a sign for what he needs to do.

Cash sighs through his nose. “We’ll start with naming a beneficiary.”

“A what?”

Are Cash’s eye-bags bigger now than they were five minutes ago?

“Someone who gets your money if you die.” Cash pauses. “Again.”

Big stares blankly, again. Cash looks close to showing an actual emotion. “Surely you have one? Why else would you save so much money?”

Big didn’t realize he was saving money. Big didn’t even realize he was getting a paycheck. Big had forgotten his account pin code when he turned twenty-one and washed the whole thing from his mind, and he’s been rationing his cash bonuses for smokes, booze, and lube ever since.

Big gets the feeling that if he tells Cash any of this, the man might wither to nothing from sheer disappointment.

“…put down Chay,” Big says weakly.

Cash nods, satisfied. “Good. I just need his given and last name.”

Big stares blankly, again, and Cash visibly droops with his next sigh.

Cash causes the suffering for once

Chay approaches Cash and shyly asks how he might get enough allowance for a really really really special date 

Cash thinking about Kinn’s really special date for Porsche: …..I’ll see if I can get you 5

Chay thinking Cash means thousands not millions: thank you so much, that would be more than enough 🥺❤️ 

then Chay sees his new account balance and he runs to Porsche to scream about these fucking mafia men 

Porsche: oh yeah he probably thought you wanted to do a helicopter ride

Chay: …….

Chay kicking down Big’s door: I HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY AND MY BROTHERS GONE TO THE DARK SIDE

Chay didn’t even know he had like, an allowance? he was given a card and he just assumed it was attached to Porsche’s account, which could prooooobably withstand him buying noodles every couple of days? (gotta be careful about going out tho!!!! hia says they have enough but he’ll say anything if it means spoiling him, Chay doesn’t want to take advantage even if he’s mad at him 😤👏)

then he learns he not only has a monthly allowance of several thousand, but Cash just dropped like a million into his account (that he didn’t even know was all his!!!!) for ONE date. Chay makes Kim instant ramen he got free from a school event and takes him out on a walk in protest

Kim: ……you know it’s fine to spend papa’s money, right?

Chay: don’t be silly P’Kim electronic money isn’t real

📖 for kinnporsche the series? your ideas are just so good!

thank u nonny!! 😭❣

this one took me a while to type because it is my weird whacky fic child who i love very dearly but struggle to explain. so, uh.

✨ Necromancy AU ✨

Big dies in the warehouse. Porsche gets Arm to get his body out, gets Kinn to delay the cremation, and gets Chay to reanimate Big.

(because reanimating the dead is just something Chay can do, because he figured it'd be a good skill to learn and he's my most specialest boy.)

Kinn (who's at the morgue for Porsche) is flabbergasted, Khun (who's at the morgue by a miracle) is stunned silent, and Kim (who's here because Khun texted him but didn't say Chay would be here) is more shocked by Big than Chay's abilities.

(Kim is the only person other than Porsche to just accept necromancy as A Reasonable Thing For Chay To Know. this is why they're Chay's favorites.)

anyways so Big is now awake and surrounded by this family. this is hell. not just for him, his sudden undead status is causing a lot of problems:

Porsche just had Chay bring Big back, he didn't like...tell anyone what was happening or make a plan for what to do with him.

Kinn just figured out his new guard roster, and now he has to redo it to accommodate one very grumpy and very loyal Big who now doesn't need trivial things like sleep or food.

there's the looming specter of Khun's upcoming dry cleaning bill because he won't. stop. poking. Big.

Big is trying very, very, very hard to ignore that not only do people know he knew about Porsche and Kinn, but that he loves Kinn so much he died protecting Porsche.

speaking of, Porsche just thanked him for saving Chay and (in a quieter voice) for saving him.

Big is in hell.

despite all that, Big's plans for his new life are to just go back to being Kinn's perfect guard. he is ignoring the awkwardness, none of this is fine, none of this will be fine, but it will be NORMAL.

this is hampered by the fact that whoops, turns out the undead need to hang around their "masters" for at least a few hours every couple of days to "recharge" so to speak, as discovered by Pol when he screamed so loud he set a fire alarm off because he stumbled over Big's body face down in front of Kinn's door at 2am.

this is even further hampered by Korn, who will absolutely not stand for his preferred heir being guarded by someone who might be more loyal to someone other than him. Korn uses the "recharge" issue to force Big out by way of making him Chay's permanent guard.

so now Big, the perfect bodyguard who only got better at his job in death, is now stuck hanging around a high schooler who doesn't get into trouble and just wants to make music with his bitchy boyfriend.

(because oh yeah, mr. the untamed nerd Kim is obviously ridiculously into Chay being able to resurrect the dead and leaks feelings before he can run away and sabotages all future attempts to ghost Chay (insert necromancer joke here). Kim's fears of love and hurting those he loves will cause different problems.)

anyways, Big is suffering. not only is he stuck guarding Porsche's baby brother (who! he's realizing he likes as a person! will the horrors never cease!), Chay keeps being nice and thoughtful and looking out for him as a person and asking after his happiness and shit (the horrors!! are not ceasing!!!!). when Big finally has enough of all this Being Treated Like A Human Being business and asks Chay why he even cares, Chay blurts out "Big, do you even want to be alive?"

because this has been eating at Chay ever since he brought Big back at the morgue. because he never knew Big and never asked if he'd want to be alive again, Chay just did it for Porsche, who wasn't doing it for Big but for his own guilt. and then Big's old life was like an ill-fitting glove, because he and Porsche can't be bitches with Big's sacrifice hanging over them but don't know how to act when they aren't being bitches, Korn won't accept him back because he only sees his own paranoia and none of Big's loyalty, and Kinn might appreciate Big's loyalty but he won't fight for it either, not when he's trying to juggle the rest of Korn's messes coming to fruition. Big's been completely forced out of his old life and any ties he might've kept to the other guards (as few as they were) are ruined by the others' guilt and discomfort, because Big might not have died in the first place if literally anyone had listened to him during the Tawan debacle, which they could ignore when he was dead but can't when he's alive and there in front of them.

and the whole confession draws Big up short because no one's ever asked him what he wants before. Big was just the son of a mafia enforcer who got scooped up young by the main family as a personal guard for Kinn. Big's never even considered that what he wants could be an option. even when he first came back, his main considerations were on the ways he was a better guard for Kinn. Big's chosen more things for himself in his weeks with Chay than he has in his life, and he never stopped to think how he feels about that.

he does now. kinda. this is Big after all. but after both forty-three excruciating minutes and three days, Big finally answers Chay, "i never lived for me before. it's...nice." Chay, who's gotten quite good at reading between the lines after all the exposure from Kim and Big, beams and makes him help him pick his electives for his first semester of university, because Chay's determined to help Big find a hobby and he's overcome far tougher things than emotional constipation.

[[ ask me about fics im not writing ]]

Bonus

small scene snippet from shortly after Big's first brought back to life, right after Kim's walked into screaming, stolen Pol's gun, and shoved Chay behind him for protection, because i love themm

Kim opens and closes his mouth silently before sputtering, “But you— I heard— What…?!”

Chay worms his arms around Kim’s waist to get his attention and his head pops over Kim’s shoulder. “It’s okay, phi,” he says soothingly, “I brought him back.”

Big gets an eye full of Kim’s face flashing through four emotions he recognizes and thirty he doesn’t, which is thirty-four more emotions than Big can deal with. Kim twists around in Chay’s hold, just enough to squint at him from the corner of his eye without letting Big out of his gun’s sight line. 

“You know how to resurrect the dead?”

Chay drops his chin onto Kim’s shoulder with a huff. “Why do people keep asking me that? It seemed like a useful skill to know!”

“Obviously,” Kim scoffs, which is the first original response Big’s heard to that all day. “I meant you can do it? What, we’re you bored and just googled ‘how to make a zombie’ one day after school?!”

Chay rolls his eyes and pokes the undersides of Kim’s ribs. Shockingly, Kim pushes further into his hold, rather than away. “Don’t be silly. You have to be trained by a shaman to make a zombie.”

Kim actually turns to look at him dead on. His gun is still trained on Big. 

Chay cocks his head to the side. “What? I just googled ‘how to bring back the dead’ and went from there. It’s basically CPR!”

“That worked?”

Chay looks genuinely baffled. “Why wouldn’t it?”

Kim stares at him incredulously before suddenly going boneless in Chay’s hold, squishing him back against the wall. Chay does not protest being squished between Kim and a hard place. He actually looks delighted by it. Big would like to go throw up now. He doesn’t know if corpses can do that, but he’s willing to make an effort. 

“Of course it works, you’re you,” Kim grumbles. He knocks his head against Chay’s and rubs in a move so cute Big will throw up, death be damned. “If life worked for me like that...”

Chay beams and pats his stomach. “I’ll teach you!”

Turns out corpses can't throw up, but they can gag so hard they choke.

[fuck-customers]

I apologize in advance, but today pissed me tf off. This is cream of the crop dumbfuckery from customers.

the fire alarm went off and we had to evacuate the building. As we are corralling customers and employees OUT of the store, more dumbfuck customers are trying to walk IN. I'm standing right outside the door and these idiots are still walking by without a care in the world. there's no fucking way you can be that oblivious.

An hour passes and the fire marshal allows us (the employees) back into the building first. I go through the middle entrance w/ my coworkers and as im walking back to the desk guess what? THREE FUCKING CUSTOMERS WAITING IN LINE AT THE DESK. My blood was BOILING how can you be THAT fucking stupid. I yelled at them to get out, i didnt even care anymore. Some idiot walked back in wanting me to get his order and when i told him he's not allowed in the building yet because the FIRE MARSHAL said so this fucker had the audacity to tell me to call the manager. I'm usually a very timid person but i had dealt with an actual karen earlier that day too. i was tired and fucking through with these people treating me like trash.

"Sir, I'm not dealing with this today. If you want to talk to the manager, you can go outside and speak to her *after* she's done talking to the *fire marshal* about the *evacuation* we just had". Thank fuck he actually went outside but jokes on him I had no fucking clue where the manager was at that given moment, i just wanted him the fuck away from me and out of the building.

die in a fire if that what you want i guess but dont do it on my shift for the love of GOD