#i dont care if their skin is a different colour or if they act differently than you or if they're a serial killer or pedophile.

[sideblogformentalhealtshit]

For such a long time, i truly tried to convince myself i saw the word 'human' as nothing more than a synonym for 'homo sapien'.

But that's just how i wish it was. I truly wish 'human' meant nothing more than this species, that i could identify with the word that way.

But i am a 'human' only in that i am a part of the 'homo sapiens' species. But as long as ppl continue to delude themselves into thinking that there is some specific requirement for the label, that some groups don't qualify for whatever reason they come up with, that anyone has the right to look upon another and declare them unworthy, i won't be able to claim myself as one.

I wish i was human, yet when ppl say the word i feel no connection to it.

[sexyandcringe]

Warning(s): implied racism (NOT by tsumu or his fam!!), just reader havin dark thoughts, suggestive but not too much, talk about 'accident' kids but it's all in good fun.

Content: BROWN/BLACK READER! angsty a little bit but mostly comfort and fluff !!! Atsumu asking for consent <3

A/N: this is so, sooo badly written guys 😭 i did not bother to read it more than thrice and the ending is so cringe lmfao, so yeah whatever. I hope it makes someone smile, that's all i want!

It's a weird feeling.

The one you are feeling right now as Atsumu's arms hug you tight from behind, his breathe tickling your neck and little kisses are littered all over it. It's not unpleasant. It feels comfortable, safe.

You still can't believe that Atsumu is your boyfriend.

Like come on, let's be real. Why would anyone like him be in love with someone like you?

But Miya Atsumu convices you that he is utterly head over heels for you, and you trust him.

He has shown you multiple times proofs of his love to you and you are so grateful for everything he does for you. Your heart is filled with so much love for him it might explode soon.

You always believed that you were pretty enough to fuck, but not enough to make people stay in your life. People finding you physically attractive was nothing new to you, but someone wanting to spend the rest or life lives with you? That's something you never heard of (nor hoped for) in your entire life.

Until Atsumu came in.

He was kind to you. A kindness that wasn't allowed to you throughout your childhood. A kindness that makes your heart cry because what the hell did you do to deserve him?!

And now he is your boyfriend and he looks at you like you're the most beautiful thing in this world. He is staring at you now, his honey eyes searching for your soul, trying to understand what goes through your pretty little head.

You blush furiously.

"My parents want to meet you." he suddenly says.

You freeze.

Fear seeps through your veins and your hands start to shake. A multitude of thoughts run in your mind and you try try try to appear unbothered and cool. But It's impossible with Atsumu.

"If that is okay with you, of course!! I dont want to pressure you into this." he says, gesturing with his hands as to emphasize the words.

You look at him uncomfortably, not knowing how to explain your thoughts to him. Of course you want to meet his parents, you want to know everything about him and be everywhere he has ever been, you want to know the people he loves and and the people he hates.

But trauma isn't this easy to overcome and it's even harder when your hypothesis have been confirmed over and over again: parents hate you. It's not an opinion to you, it's something unavoidable, a fact that you can't delete from your mind.

In all your previous friendships and relationships, your friend's or partner's parents have disliked you and asked their son to be less close, less friendly, less loving to you. You hoped and hoped and hoped that maybe this time would be different, you acted like it didn't affect you, like you didn't care. you hoped that your ex's parents weren't like that, but you were a fool. You knew inside what you were expecting and eventually you got what you wanted to avoid: his parents subtly told him to stop inviting you over. It started like this. Later, they asked him to come home earlier, to spend less time with you, and slowly, very, very slowly, everything fell apart.

You always knew the reason of their behaviour, it was nothing new to you after all, but it hurt every single time. It hurt back then, and it still hurts now to imagine what would happen if you met Atsumu's parents. They would see you, act nice and welcoming, make you a warm coffee and offer you a snack, but the second you leave, they'll have a talk with Atsumu. Something along the lines "She's a nice girl.. But i think you could do better.." or "You should think thoroughly about this...".

All this, because you are different from them. Your skin colour is different, your culture is different, your existence is different.

Not even your personality could compensate that kind of gap; you don't even know how to talk to parents, you barely talk to your own.

How do you explain this to Atsumu? That you are terrified, absolutely horrified with the idea of his parents hating you and him walking away from you to not disappoint them.

You decide that you are tired of all this.

"Sure" you say against your will.

You don't want to lose Atsumu, you don't want your past to happen again, but you have no choice. You would rather end the pain here than wait more months or years in which you get closer to Atsumu, just to be left devasted again.

End it now, end it all.

The day comes way sooner than you thought, than you hoped, but Atsumu is eager for it, and you can't suppress a sad smile when you see him all happy and giggly as he drives you to his home.

You try your best not to ruin his mood, this is as much about him as you, he told you he never brought a girl to his house before, all his exes didn't last enough to make it until his house.

Soon, he is parked in his modern style house's garage and you can feel anxiety creeping up your spine.

His house is pretty, a yellow painting with plants and flowers hanging from the balcony and at the entrance of the door. He has little garden with a little dwarf statue holding a cat, some leaves flying messily from one of the small bushes.

He doesn't ring nor knocks (duh, it's his own house), and opens the door.

You notice little details hanging around the walls, like a picture of him with Osamu and their dad, little hands holding a volleyball and a big smile on their face. Or the wooden shelf where all the keys are stacked in a ceramic bowl. You recognize the decoration on it, a "prothesis" in black and golden.

Atsumu invites you into the living room, letting you sit on the couch as he goes to the kitchen, where you assume his parents might be.

"Papa, Ma-" you hear him talk, but he stops in his tracks and you understand the reason when you hear him yell speak again: "Please, we literally have a guest over, you can have your baby making session later, in your room!"

"I was JUST kissing her, you little shit. You act like you've never seen two lovers kiss!" a male's voice replies back.

"You two stop fighting! Where is she Tsumie?" another voice, this time coming from a female.

You giggle at the petname you discovered of Atsumu and you are sure you're going to call him like this like, forever.

At that your heart clenches again.

Forever huh? If only it was this easy.

You get up when you finally see his parents coming out of the kitchen, followed by their son who gives you a bright grin.

"Hello." you bow, "I'm Y/N, Atsumu's garfield. AH- UM I mean, I mean girlfriend!" you blush furiously and hear Atsumu's suppressed laughter. You want Mother Earth to suck you in herself and make you disappear forever.

His mother's laugh makes your tense shoulders loose, "Nice to meet you Garfield." she jokes as she hugs you. You blush again. You have already messed this up.

"Hello sir." you bow to his father and you are hoping that his reply won't be too dry. If your communication skills with parents are bad, specifically, with fathers, they are the worst. At least mothers tried to hide their disgust and hatred towards you, but the father never cared about any of that. Not like they were outwardly mean, but they would just give you a dryass greeting and get out of the house (or shut themselves in their room). You are terrified of his father hating you, but your mind blanks out when Atsumu's dad reaches out to give you a hug, too. "It's so good to meet you, sweetie." he says.

You nearly fall from the shock but regain your composure soon enough. What the hell. What's this? Decent human beings?!

"It's nice to meet you, too."

His father's smile is kind and you wonder if it's all an act, a disgusted face hidden behind an evil grin, but really, it looks so innocent and pure you can't really imagine this man ever being angry at anyone at all.

He speaks again, "Make yourself comfortable, me and Atsumu's mother are going to make you lunch, what would you like to eat?"

You put your hands in front of you "Anything is fine really! I'm not picky! As long as eggplants aren't involved!" You joke, "Thank you!"

His parents smile at you and leave some privacy to you and Atsumu, who is now taking you upstairs to his room.

Fuck, Atsumu's room. You are about to enter his room. Atsumu's room. Him and you, alone. On a bed. Fuck. You didn't even think about this, too worried about his parents.

When he opens the door, it's exactly how you imagined it. White and blue walls with a lot of posters messily arranged, two volleyballs sitting on the floor and a gaming pc. Well, it is how you imagined it but less messy, you assume he cleaned up today before picking you up. What a cutie.

"You can sit wherever you want." Atsumu takes his shoes off and falls on his bed; you follow him and sit on his lap. He grins. "Didn't know you were that eager fe' me."

"You said I can sit wherever I want, and I want to sit," you point at his lap, "here."

It's surprising how comfortable you feel around Atsumu, as if the interaction with his parents didn't happen just 30 seconds ago, as if you weren't making scenarios in your head about when he will, finally, leave you.

"They look nice, your parents." your voice is a whisper for only his ears to hear.

"They are nice, sweetheart."

"Well, I wouldn't have known, I'm scared of parents."

He laughs at that, thinking you are joking- or maybe not - cradling your face in his hands. "My love, I have been telling them about you since, like, forever, they literally already loved you even before knowing you. So don't get stupid ideas in your little brain."

"Okay first of all, my brain is not "little", you fuckface," you point to him, "and secondly, yeah... thanks for the comfort." God you are terrible with words.

He squishes your face and kisses your puckered lips, "I love you." he says between kisses and you can practically feel his love all over you. You want to stay like this forever. He lets his hands wander on your body, stopping just right over your hips, under your shirt. His kisses get more heated as he pulls you tighter against him. His lips are everywhere, on your lips, your chin, your collarbone, neck, shoulders, "Y/N..." he breathes "Can I?" he asks with his fingers playing with the hem of your blouse.

Thousands of thoughts are running in your head and you don't know what to do or say, you want him, yes, but not now, not like this while his parents are downstairs and it's your first day over his house. You hesitate, not knowing how he will react if you tell him that you want to wait.

You are still thinking what to reply when his hands stop their movement, his eyes searching for yours.

"Don't be scared. I won't be mad, nor disappointed if you are not ready."

And god you want to scream, cry and punch holes in every wall you see because this man is so, so gentle, so kind, so perfect. He is everything every girl could dream of. Just for you.

You hug him, play with his golden hair, "Atsumu, I love you, and trust me when I say that I want you. I just don't want to do it now, if that's okay with you. I want to wait."

Communication with Atsumu comes easy to you. Everyone thinks he is not considerate of people's feelings and is rude, arrogant and what not, but you have come to learn that with you he actually has high emotional intelligence, he understands you like no one else and he does not act like a child with anger issues like people think he is. You are grateful for that.

"No problem at all baby." is all he says before throwing you on the bed and tickling you until you can't breathe anymore.

You both play fight, cuddle, make out and look at his old album pictures until his mother knocks the door, inviting you to eat lunch.

You follow them downstairs, sitting on the table next to Atsumu and in front of his mother, his father sitting adjacent to you.

His parents ask you a lot of questions related to university/work, family, friends and how you and Atsumu met (you tell them he asked for your number first and you rejected, making Atsumu whine. "ya weren't s'pposed to tell em that Y/N!"); you get to know them better too, his father is really good at cooking apparently and you wonder if Osamu got it from him, and his mother used to play in a rock band back in university as the bassist. So fucking cool, you think.

"Why did you stop?" you ask her, hesitating, wondering if you might touch some sensitive subject.

She laughs, "because this little shit here" she slaps on her husband's shoulder, "got me these other two little shits in ma belly!"

Your eyes widen in shock. What the fuck? Did she just out loud told Atsumu (and Osamu) that he is a mistake?!

"Ma, stop saying that as if we're an accident!" Atsumu yells frustrated. "It's not what you think Y/N. They decided that on their own, so my mom left the band after they both agreed to move in together and start a family. I am not an accident, nor is Samu."

"You won't let me spice up my life story, will you?!"

"There's nothing spicy in telling your child that he is a mistake, what the hell-"

"Okay okay calm down you too! Stop acting like kids! Y/N is losing her mind." it's his father now talking and you scratch your head, a small confused smile on your face.

Is this how normal families joke around?

Anyways, they are all smiling and laughing so you assume that's normal chit chat in the Miya household, so you join them, making fun of Atsumu and the way he always licks his lips after drinking anything, the little "chip chip" sounds he make with his tongue and how he actually loves being made fun of (he's a masochist).

The day's over earlier than you expected and you can't actually believe you had a good time. You were laughing and making jokes with his parents and they did not look at you weird.

They invite you over again and after a few weeks you meet them again and this time you cook with them and it's fun.

You realize not all parents hate you and the past does not define you. You have every right to be happy and be loved for who you are. You feel loved and accepted and really, it's all you could have asked for in this life.

You truly are blessed.

Reblogs are really appreciated!

[mysteriawrites]

Hello ,can I request a TWST matchup please !? And thank you .

**Appearance:**

I'm a 5'5" Arab girl (165cm) (she/her, straight )who wears a hijab. I am a brunette with big, light brown eyes and red-framed glasses. People often say I have a soothing aura when they look into my eyes. My face is round with a kind of heart shape with big cheeks, a small nose, and cute defined lips. I'm pale cause I mostly stay at home and avoid getting a tan. I have a lot of beauty marks on my face . I have eyebags, which might be due to anemia, and I always look tired unless i use blush ,tho i dislike the texture of makeup on my skin (but i do care about my skin by applying skincare ,but i dont do it very often 😅)people say I am cute and pretty but it's hard for me to believe them (insecurities and self doub go brr...)

**Hobbies:**

drawing, (sketches mostly) ,I plan to learn colour theory to start painting. I adore all forms of art, paintings , music , sculptures..ect (I love everything that is beautiful ,plus everything is beautiful in its own way).I enjoy reading. Although it's been a while since I found a book that peeked my interest ,I mostly read fanfics recently . Video games hold a special place in my heart, I LOVE the different art styles and plots in each game. I like anime, but I've been too busy lately to watch. I have some sewing skills, mostly for patching things up, but I want to sew clothes and learn crochet in the future. Crafting is another hobby I enjoy, I am good with my hands. I love learning new stuff. biology ,psychology, and physics r my fav subjects(i like learning about anatomy whether it's animal's or human's +plants in the medical field +my fav scientist is Nicolas Tesla). I speak 3 languages: Arabic (native), French, and English. I plan to learn Spanish, Italian, or German next, depending on my mood. I'm a quick learner and adapt easily to different situations(that's something I admire and take pride in) While I can cook simple dishes like pasta and eggs, I'm not skilled at cooking savory foods.but in baking ,if you give me a recipe, i will make the most delicious desserts you've ever tasted(but quiet ironically i hate cooking ,i only do it if i am forced to), lemon tart is my fav due to my sweet tooth.

I forgot to mention my love for horror movies and games(they dont even scare me . Even though I am a good swimmer, I have thalassophobia (ironic), but i do like me some facts about marine biology, with jellyfishes, anglerfishes, and Caribbean reef octopuses being my favorites.

**Personality:**

My personality is quite flexible and depends on both the people I'm with and my mood. When I'm outside , I tend to feel anxious, although I do my best not to show it. I come across as calm, chill, and reserved, often giving off a "don't approach me" vibe, but I'm friendly and won't reject anyone who wants to chat, although I dislike small talk and feel a bit uneasy around boys. I've had trust issues due to past betrayals, so I'm cautious with my relationships now (whether it is friends or family ,no lover tho ,don't get me wrong i can be quiet the romantic but the only man that I would probably get attached to would be fictional for sure lol)

With my close friends, I'm more open, bright, and cheerful. I talk a lot about my interests, sharing random facts (they call me a nerd). I'm caring and sweet toward my friends, and my love languages include gift-giving, physical touch, and acts of service. I give them presents and hugs, always respecting their boundaries.

I would describe myself as creative, passionate, and smart, with a hint of perfectionism. I admit I am lazy and unmotivated more often than i like (i can't help it). I am an INTP-T, Enneagram 5w4, and a Libra. I'm also an older sister.

I am a burnt-out gifted kid , but I try to be the best version of myself whether academically ,mentally or physically(i admit i do feel down thinking that i am never gonna make it ,but i always try to push these thoughts aside but most of the time they get the best of me sadly).I often feel I'll never be good enough for my mother (she has high standards for me that I can never seem to meet). I was bullied cause of my looks and weight, which made me depressed and anorexic for a year. Thankfully, I've changed a lot over time, tho it affected me making me antisocial, having trust issues and insecurities. I like energy drinks. My music taste varies from pop, alt/indie, classical( my fav pieces are moonlight sonata 3rd movement, danse macabre , in the hall of the mountain king and la campanella ) ,jazz, to rock/metal, with a particular love for rock & roll. Comfortable baggy clothes are my go-to(makes me feel good in my own skin) , and I can be quite sarcastic with a sharp tongue at times. Once I get comfortable with someone, you'll find I'm pretty blunt and honest .I am polite and respectful .I can also be stubborn and a pessimist if I am not in a good mood . I like cats, and I am afraid of dogs and horses and can't stand people who underestimate me .I have inferiority AND superiority complex (but mostly inferiority)

Hello hello thank you for the request (first hijabi request I’ve gotten which makes me happy cause i wear hijab too ❤️) sorry this took 80 years my life is on fire.

Anyway without further ado DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

VIL SCHOENHEIT!!!

You and Vil are surprisingly similar which makes it easier for you two to click than with most other people. You both try your absolute hardest to be the best people you can be and see the beauty in the world around you although while he tries to bring out the beauty in things you see beauty in the way they already were.

You and Vil met during alchemy class after you dropped into Twisted Wonderland. At first Vil was his usual perfectionist self: ordering you around and being controlling about how to do your project, but once you showed him your alchemic proficiency he was genuinely impressed.

Ever since then not only did you capture his respect, but also his intrigue. Despite being as busy as he is, when he had the time he would try to learn more about who you were by either word of mouth or asking your friends (Rook offered to “observe you” but Vil voted against it for it is rude and creepy).

One day while he was on a run he saw you under a tree practicing your sewing. He decided this was a good opportunity to strike up a conversation with you given he knew a thing or two about clothes.

He walked over and gave you some advice about your stitching. Sadly it came off a lot more condescending then he would like and it rubbed you the wrong way which lead you to giving him the cold shoulder but tried to politely dismiss yourself.

You know those guys that are more intrigued by those who aren’t interested in them? Yeah that’s Vil even if he’ll never admit it. The more you ignore or avoid him the more he wants to make amends and try to impress you.

Until one day where you’re in a particularly bad mood you have an outburst about how him not giving you space makes you uncomfortable due to old wounds and ask what his deal was.

This made him realize his behavior towards you was unfair and disrespectful. He didn’t take your feelings or comfort into account at all. He is as ashamed with himself.

He stood before you and gave a genuine and sincere apology before walking away.

You don’t know how or why, but his apology moved you. He’s not like other guys you’ve met before. You could tell that he felt genuine remorse and met every word of what he said

A week later you two run into each other again and make awkward small talk. You can tell that he still feels bad about what he did, so you propose that you guys start over as true friends.

And he agrees.

After that you slowly but surely grow closer and closer. Bonding over shared passions and views, before long Vil is falling in love with you. You’re not his first crush, but you’re the first one he truly feels love and affection for. Not just a relationship for the press or screens.

And so he asks you out like a classic fairytale prince for a fancy private dinner. And although you accept you let him know that he doesn’t need to do something so extravagant, that you would be happy no matter what. That takes him by surprise, but it’s not an unwelcome one.

You and Vil are like an old married couple once you finally get together.

Always bantering about how you both need to take better care of yourselves. It’s wholesome and funny at the same time.

Because he can’t always spend a lot of time with you, his love language is gift giving and acts of service. What better way to spend his money than on you. He gets you things he sees you eyeing in the store or on your wishlist or things that make your day a bit easier.

Since he’s not the best at showing it he wants to make sure you know you’re loved even without words.

Your dates usually consist of simple things like cooking at home where you have full privacy.

He is the Queen and you are the King/Queen/Royal at his side.

[tonberry-yoda]

Hello! I would love a MHA match up for the Mystery Date event! <3

I'm a pansexual cis-girl who goes by she/her pronuns!

I am a very affectionate girl who wants needs to let know everyone that they are loved and cared for ^^ I am the mother friend of the group and I love to take care of others, I just love to make everyone happy! (without forgetting my own happiness ofc 😌)

Leaving my caring part aside I am very active and I LOVE the feel of the adrenaline, I am this kind of person who just jumps on every roller coaster in a 5km radious. That also means that I love strong emotions, and that comes to strong activities, I would love to go bungee jumping or skydiving one day.

I dress in grunge style, I adore all the dark colours and aesthetic of the clothes under that name <3 I have to say that I dress grunge but still colorful! like, all the base of my outfit is black but then you see 7 bracelets of different colors forming a rainbow of bracelets in my wrist or a pair of rainbow clips in my hair.

I also love cozy and warm activities, like sitting with my partner in front of the television curled up in blankets inside of a pillow fort, sleeping together inside a cute pink tent installed in a corner of my room, doing skin-care routines or even my favorite one, brush each other's hair!!

My music tastes are very variate but my playlist is almost overshadowed by Marina and the Diamonds, Mitski, and Hombres G (a very good Spanish band <3).

My love language is physical touch, as you can see in what I've written before I'm a very cuddly and physical person who loves to share her love in hugs, kisses, acts like holding hands and all that cute things ^^ But I also love giving gifts!! And by gifts I mean from something shiny that I've found and that reminds me of my partner, from drawings I've made myself (because I live for drawing ^^), playlist dedicated to my partner, and handmade sweets or pastries to something I heard they wanted and bought them in the store <3

-with love, from 🇪🇸Anon. (HA! Bet ya didn't see that coming right? 😈) (Hope you are having a good day though, take care of yourself tonberry ♥)

notes 💌: OMG THIS WAS A SURPRISE! I was just reading through this and even picked you a character and was super surprised to see that it was from you, love <333 thank you so much for participating in this event because you have been nothing but kind to me, so to return that favor for you means the world to me <333 have a wonderful valentine's day and know that i am sending lots of love <3

THE CHARACTER CUPID CHOOSES FOR YOU THIS VALENTINE’S DAY IS…

MOMO!!!

i think having two mother friends in the group would be 10/10 tbh

i think both of your goals are to make everyone around you happy, so naturally, you two gravitated to each other

she will care for you and to have someone care for her means the world!!

she would love that active side of you

the two of you would just goof off outside while you both get your built up energy out

now the only thing is, i dont see her as a super daring person until someone else convinces her to do something super risky. she'll do it, but just know you got to convince her a bit

i think she would totally be down to try those fun risky things though

i dont call her a girlboss for nothing

she loves your style

she doesnt really have a style for herself, but to see you very confident in the clothes you love makes her so so happy

and she just thinks you look so good in everything you wear

SHE LOVES CUDDLING

just hearing you talk about wanting to cuddle next to a fire makes her blush

knowing that you want to do self care with her literally makes her so happy omg

like she could spend all day doing that, but with you??!?!?! you cant tell me she's not over the moon

she loves that you are just so sweet and cling onto her

she loves being the cuddle bug and having someone like you to tell her to take a break every once in a while

PLEASE MAKE HER HOMEMADE GIFTS

she knows they came straight from your heart, so they mean a lot more to her

plus she just thinks you're so talented that she gets all gushy whenever you get her a present

just know that you got yourself a lovely girl who loves every little thing about you <333

💌 HOW WOULD SHE ASK YOU TO BE HER VALENTINE??

she would write you a lovely hand written letter with pink pen that says some super lovely things about you and ends with "and will you be my valentine??" and when you say yes, she gives you chocolates and a teddy bear, a smile never leaving her beautiful face.

💌 VALENTINE’S DAY DATE

Momo wanted a chill day. The two of you had been training and working all week and the last thing you needed to do was go on some crazy adventure and call it a date, only to be both grumpy and exhausted. And you agreed. You were both just wanting some self care time. You both took the day off just to be together and when you woke up, it was already heaven. Momo had brought you breakfast in bed and planted kisses all over your face. "Today is going to be an amazing day," she had said, laying down next to you to eat breakfast as well. "It sure will be." You agreed, making a satisfied sound as you took your first bite of breakfast. "I have the perfect plan for the day!" Momo sounded so excited. You hadn't heard her sound like this in ages. It was probably because she slept in for the first time in a long time to be honest. She pulled out her journal and showed her the plans for the day and you smiled. It all sounded perfect. Every last bit of it. You couldn't wait to be curled up in your girlfriend's arms just sitting next to the fireplace in your living room. The day went nicely. Lots of good food, hugs and kisses every couple minutes, skin care, etc. It was just so relaxing. You hadn't even noticed that the sun had gone down until you were in Momo's arms, wrapped in a blanket talking about the future. Her arms were so warm pressed to yours and you couldn't help but place kisses up and down her hands and face. "Momo, I love you." Momo gave you a loving look and pulled you closer, placing a kiss onto your forehead. "I love you too. Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day." <3

~~~~~

mystery date rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

I just read the Erwin date scenarios and it’s so hood AGH could you please do one for armin? Plz 😚

You read my mind👀 ngl I think about Armin each time I write something for Erwin, despite them being alike i like to compare the differences and think they have different tastes and love languages.

Erwin strikes me a more act of services and gift giving guy while Armin would definitely go for words of affirmation and quality time.

Type of dates with Armin PT.1 {pt.2 in masterlist}

{ Armin x reader | tw: none | fluff, romance | modern }

{ "in bloom" by Abbott Fuller Graves 1859–1936 }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday, etc.

1. Spending a full day on the beach: when i say a full day I mean it, he's driving you there really early in the morning while you're struggling to stay awake in the passenger seat. He doesn't even need coffee he's running on 100% pure determination and will.

You'd arrive before anyone there, to get the best spot of course. It's close enough to the sea that you can feel the humidity of the water in the air, yet far enough from the rest of the beach that other people won't bother you.

He'd understand if you were too sleepy to help him set things up, he'd just kiss your forehead before letting you go back to sleep, promising he'll get you something to drink when the stores open.

You wake up to the smell of your favourite hot drink, just around 8am. The sun is up and the air is refreshing, you can hear the quiet chatter of people far away just arriving here. You sip your drink as Armin guides you to the small comfortable space he made, proudly showing off his work.

Please praise him and give him a kiss on the cheek, he will melt.

The rest of the day is spent with you two swimming lazily in the water, feeling the warm sunlight on your skin. Collecting whatever pretty seashell you see, using some to decorate the sandcastle Armin built with you. He takes a pictures of you at seemingly random moments, he promises to show you when he devolps them later.

You help him dry his hair afterwards, he take you to get ice cream. Despite getting you one too, he still ends up sharing his own with you, and if you're up for seconds he'd happily oblige.

When night falls and the people began leaving, the waves of the ocean get a little higher, wind turning colder. Don't worry, Armin thought about that, that's why he brought blankets.

He'd wrap you both in the same one, even holding you close to him, it's for warmth he says and yet he seems like he was looking forward for this. You help him in making a small bonfire, he brought marshmallows.

The rest of the night is spent with you laying against him while huddled in a blanket, looking at the heavens above and the constellation of the stars.

He takes your hand in his, guiding your finger to where polaris is. "It never changes" he says "no matter what" and from that star, he guides you through the formation of the little dipper.

Just right under it, directly under the polaris, begins the big dipper, a close replica to its little sister.

You spend hours like this, looking at the stars as new formations come and go with the time. You were early enough to catch Aries as it was leaving, pleiades, the seven sisters shining brightly next to it.

And just after midnight it was Sirius turn to say goodbye. That's when both of you decided to call it a night, he hugged you close to him, you could feel his heartbeat slowing down, he was oh so warm and tasted just like chocolate and marshmallows when you kissed goodnight.

2. Going on an adventure and trying new things: Armin has the need to try new things and gain new experiences, despite being someone who prefers small groups of friends and getting lost in a book than socialising. It's something that's been a part of him since he was a child, he wants to experience what the world has to offer and won't say no despite how utterly terrifying it can be to him.

And he wants to have those experiences with you, to share his love for the unknown with you, to see your reactions and share his own thoughts. The only thing that's better than going on adventures to him is going on adventures with you.

An adventure could be anything really, it could be going diving underwater or going to that creepy looking supermarket that never closes, you never know. An adventure is an adventure after all. The possibilities are endless.

So don't be surprised when he asks for you to go with him sky diving for his birthday despite knowing how terrfied he is of heights and how even a carnaval ride can make him sick.

Good or bad he doesn't care, he just wants to try and learn everything. He's full of curiosity and surprises that you'd never get bored, although a good thing about him is that he never is unprepared.

Yes he will take you on seemingly dangerous adventures but know that he really deeply thought about this before hand and is prepared for all the different scenarios that could happen, he likes the unknown but he's smart and cautious on how to approche it.

Not to mention that a single adventure can leave him satisfied for a long time before craving a new rush, probably once or twice a year. Just frequent enough to be something to look forward to but not too frequent that it becomes boring or too repetitive, he manages to keep that balance and walk on that thin line.

3. Hot air ballon ride: just imagine, it's early autumn, the weather is just right to wear those cozy yet good looking clothes, the earth seems like it's turning slower than usual as the trees change colours.

Around sunrise or sunset, both of you are high up in the air, the sun clearly in view with the golden clouds surrounding it. The world managing to look so small yet so vast at the same time.

Armin is wearing his favourite sweater and scarf combo, he's holding your hand in his pocket to keep it warm. It's just you and him isolated from the rest of the world like other people dont exist anymore, and strangely he's okay with that, at peace even.

He brings a camera and captures how the sun reflects in your eyes, how the chilly air makes you rub your hands together for warmth and how utterly breathtaking you look.

Beautiful, gorgeous even, these are the only thoughts in his mind at that moment.

And so Armin made a promise to himself that in the far future, when he wants to be even closer to you, to vow his life to yours, he'd propose on a hot air balloon.

But as much as he likes staying up in the air with you being his angel, the process of booking a ride is much more complicated and time consuming than he originally thought. Meaning he doesn't get to enjoy these rare heavenly moments as he wants to.

He needs to make reservations in advance, not to mention how important it is to choose a trustworthy company. Lastly how rides depend on the weather conditions, needing to reschedule if the weather takes a turn to the worse.

4. Visiting the aquarium or planetarium: he's just a boy with oceans for eyes and stars in his smile, can you really blame him for gravitating towards these places? Or for diving too deep in knowledge about the sky above and sea below?

Whenever the weather is too harsh for a beach trip or the sky is too cloudy for a stargazing night, these two places are his to go backups.

He's memorised the place like the back of his hand, no need for a map. Want to see the shark tanks and how they're doing? He'll take you there and introduce to them and the silly nicknames he gave them. Or how about saying hello to the dolphins who'll show off some moves just for your attention, or maybe you miss seeing the adorable penguins wobble around?

He knows endless facts about each fish kind, he makes it seem so fascinating and the way he phrases the information and coats them in milk and honey makes it impossible for you not to engage.

You both could have a slow with few words spoken walk and it still be as interesting, he'd even make special playlists to listen to while walking around and sharing his earphones.

Meanwhile at the planetarium, sometimes in the early mornings you'd run into kids just arriving for their school trip. Racing each other to the solar system panel and looking in amazement when the stars show begins. You and Armin have a nostalgic feeling when watching them, yet when you look at each other you remember how good it feels like to be grown and have someone special.

You never could get bored of seeing the stars, especially not with Armin.

5. Trying a new kind of art: one time you asked him what does he think the meaning of art is, what even is art?

"Art is communication" he said.

Armin has a deep love and appreciation for all kind of art, from classic oil canvas paintings to old greek sculptures. He doesn't pick a side, he likes both the modren and classic.

Music is art, writing is art and even making pottery is a form of art too. He wants to experience it, not for a need to acolmplish something or to rival Shakespeare, but for a need to communicate his emotions in a more subtle and personal way.

Like a secret language only he can decipher the meaning of, after all he was the one to create it.

Whenever he tries a new form of art, his usual fear of failure and absurdly high expectations actually go out the window. There isn't good and bad art, there's just different levels of communication and different styles.

So to him, the act of bringing you both some watercolours and cotton papers to paint on for a date is incredibly intimate, that's his true feelings and emotions he's showing you. But don't worry, he isn't here to take the whole thing seriously, he's actually playful and mellow most of the time.

Or maybe he'd like to make pottery with you, an excuse to put his hands around yours while sitting intimately close, maybe even give your shoulder a couple kisses while you shape the vase you agreed on making.

The next day, you find the finished vase near the window with a sunflower arrangements inside.

It also could be you two sitting next to each other, working together on a page of an adult colouring book or maybe to each one his own book. He'd hog the color blue most of the time so watch out, and don't lend him yours because he will hog it too.

Or maybe as a fun past time, you'd both attempt to make poetry, expect you're getting more and more drunk on the fruit flavoured beer he brought with him. You had fun laughing while reading what you came up with the next morning.

6. Going fruit picking in summer: it's his favourite way to celebrate the arrival of his favourite season, wear something light, pack some lemonade and go enjoy what mother nature has to offer.

You two would walk around in the fields, he's wearing a straw hat to block the sun, he thinks it looks better on you. Both of you looking at the fruits waiting to be picked, choosing the really unique shaped ones, the colourful ones and the especially delicious looking ones.

You might meet some small friends along the way, like a couple ladybugs that were crawling up Armin's arm. Two butterflies dancing in the air and even a frog that's taking a walk from its lake home nearby.

Going home that day with baskets full of different fruits waiting for your use, Armin and you discuss all the different ways you could use them for, like making delicious smoothies, or maybe saving them for baking a pie or cake. Maybe cutting them in small bites and covering them with different kinds of chocolate, maybe just making a fruits salad to enjoy while Armin reads you a book

Or maybe, maybe just washing them and eating them raw. Yeah that option sounds the most appealing after a day of walking through fields in the sun.

He'd feed you some, push them against your lips and smile when your eyes subtly light up at the sweet taste....maybe a kiss after so he could taste it too?

[sanstropfremir]

it’s the episode 8 review!!! how many episodes is this show supposed to even be?

the stages from the episode feel like such a grab bag.... i still don’t understand why they didn’t put all the skill stages together, and then did the normal two episodes of the third round. i guess it makes sense that they didn’t want to have six stages in one episode and then three in the other two, but eh. 

feeling kinda average on these as a whole, there’s a lot of good elements going on here but probably because of my own preferences (i don’t listen to ballads or blackpink) none of them really hit all the buttons. hopefully this will be a shorter review because i'm only going to do a quick rundown of the vocal stages; i dont really have that much to say about them because they are (intentionally) not very stage picture focused. i'll do the normal stage breakdowns for the other two though, even though i won’t rank them because we still need to see the other four!

vocal stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

not much to say here other than wow, that’s RED. glad to see some more specific use of spotlighting and i always love when they light things on fire. i do wish they had fill lit with a brighter amber so we could actually get a bit more detail on their faces, especially because there’s six of them. i appreciated the simple blocking and only using one of the ‘stages,’ this stage didn’t need to be anything complicated and it wasn’t. i don’t love spinning camera shots because they make me a bit ill, and i'll forgive the constant cutting because it's a vocal stage and there isn’t any other real movement that we should be paying attention to. not my favourite of the two, i found it visually a bit too repetitive and complex at the same time. always love a crushed velvet suit though, so bonus points for that.

atz + skz + btob

i was braced for the worst and i dont know what kind of miracle happened but it was listenable! like i said, not a ballad fan but i could listen to eunkwang all day. i love a good plinth for a ballad stage, they’re one of my favourite devices in kpop design and i especially love it with a good groundlevel fog. glad they kept it black and white for the first half of the stage, it was in line with the blooming flower projections, and it made a very clear colour arc. they kept the visuals clean and simple with very little blocking at all, a very smart choice for this stage. not sure why they decided it would be the chanel time stage, which i disapprove of because i don’t like chanel, but i do love eunkwang’s shirt with the cameo buttons and the massive turnback cuffs, very 17th and also 19th century. i know they never do it because they dont read on stage normally but yes absolutely more thin chain pendant chokers on men, thank you! i also liked that there was emphasis on a more traditional lighting scheme, there weren't any crazy concert effects, just some good directional beam spotlights and the rear stacks in the climax. 

third round stages

ikon

costume

the first look for them is definitely my fabourite of theirs so far. there’s enough variation in the jackets that the base layer of tshirt and jeans don’t look too repetitive. and i do love a good statement jacket. my favourite is probably donghyuk’s because i'm a sucker for fringe always.

i don’t like the backup dancers costumes, but given the way i’ve reacted to every other all black outfit for this entire show i don’t think anyone was surprised about that. these ones particularly irk me because they’re very matte; there's pretty much no texture or pattern differentials to define the shape of the limb, which makes them disappear when theyre all grouped together (mostly on the women). i think they probably were intending to make a statement/emphasis on the hands because of the sleeve cutoff point, but there were so many arm movements that were just totally missed because the costumes were just black voids. most egregious parts are here, with the female dancers up center. i can barely tell what the movements are unless i’m paying specific attention to them because there's so many black shapes. maybe it was the point for it to be an indiscernable writhing mass, but it wasn’t my vibe.

don’t love this styling on lisa. i hate peeptoe shoes in general but peeptoe boots are the worst offenders. they make you look like you have duck feet, no matter who you are. especially with a flat cutout like that. a universally unflattering shoe, and i would know, i worked in a shoe store for two years. this whole look is just pg-13 rihanna cfda awards 2014 and really nobody should try to run up against rihanna.

also i have to mention this because it’s actually really bothering me, but lisa’s backup dancers are serving very allgemeine ss looks and i do not like it. generally when we see ‘military’ uniforms in kpop theyre usually modelled off older styles (pre wwii) of western uniforms that usually aren’t in circulation, and they’re usually non-matching and embellished in ways that are deliberately not military. i know logically that it's a budget constraint+they’re backup dancers+current trend thing but the clean lines with only button detailing and the all black and that specific harness shape? it hit my brain the wrong way. i mean, technically those uniforms are designer because hugo boss did them, but the uh..... girlboss move didn’t land for me.

this is my PERSONAL OPINION please for the love of all that is holy do not come yelling at me about this. it’s all under a cut, you chose to read the post.

set

very glad to see some busy kitschy sets! this is a massive build, since there’s essentially three full sets here: the temple, the jungle, and the first tiny room. and all of them are very heavily decorated. 

the starting room is just five walls on casters (wheels), that have been set into place with the cameraman and ikon inside at the start, and then once they exit the walls can be easily struck and rolled off set. simple, smart, and convenient!

i missed it the first couple times around but glitching out the projections in the temple for a split second was a neat little trick.

the silver and polygonal nature of the tiger/panther/cat(?) head is a bit disconnected from the gold and the aesthetic of the rest of the stage for me. the difference between the original room set and the jungle tracks, but the cat head isnt able to make the same leap for me. i'm also not a fan of mixing metals so maybe that’s why.

the tiger/panther/cat(?) head is a fun physical transitional device; i'm a big fan of tunnels and small transitory spaces like that and if they’re well dressed like this one they do so much for establishing place and mood.

i'm very sure i’ve seen this style of polygonal animal head with laser eyes before....i cannot for the life of me remember where or for what. i know wang yibo did a panther stage for sdc3 that had a human formation panther with green laser eyes, i wonder if i'm just crossing wires.

OH nevermind it’s because it looks like the witcher medallion. wires were definitely crossed.

lighting

using purple/teal lighting for the jungle was a smart choice because purple is the direct compliment to the gold and also is much more flattering on humans than green. green is one of the colours that humans can see the most variations in, so when something is green when it's not supposed to be (like human skin), we register that very quickly and associate it with unease and sickness. you know how old fluorescent lights have that greenish tinge that kinda makes you feel ill? it's your cone cells and your brain recognizing that you’re looking at things that are not supposed to be green.

very clean colour arc, i love to see it.

sound

it’s.....fine? i don’t listen to blackpink and have no opinions on their music other than it's not my type. i dont really know what the thematic connection to the visuals is, which is not strictly necessary in a lot of cases, but i don’t particularly care for the conflation of ‘savage’ and a (presumably) precolonial religion that’s assembled from stereotypes of real colonized cultures. you can come at me about how ‘it's not that deep’ all you want but i am here specifically doing an in depth analysis, and i gotta point it out. i'm not here to pass judgement on you if you didn’t realize or don’t care or whatever, i'm just saying that it's important to consume content with a critical eye. what you do with that information is your own personal choice, but you should be aware of it at least. 

staging

they took a big risk eating popcorn right before singing, and we definitely got some residual mouth noises of them trying to clean out their teeth. eating on stage is difficult in general because you have to make sure it's not going to dry out the performers mouths, because they dont have access to water and it takes WAY longer to chew and swallow something than you would expect. there’s a LOT of testing that goes into making stage food and guaranteed it’s not made out of what it looks like or what its supposed to be; i worked on a production of amadeus were we did literal weeks of testing amalgams of different desserts to make sure that salieri could actually eat the ones onstage without totally drying him out, because fun fact about that show, salieri doesnt leave stage like, at all, so there was no way to get him water. poor bloke.

i thought the blocking of this was really smart. the long take from the ‘normal’ room and transition into the jungle was super slick, even if that weird circle the camera did while pointed up at the ceiling was unnecessary and pointless.

bobby’s ‘acting’ was extremely funny and that’s the only way people are allowed to act surprised now. edvard munsch scream style only.

the pacing is a bit off and this time it wasn’t mnet’s editing that fucked it up. as fun as it is to have a feature, clearly she wasn’t allowed within proximity of the rest of them for covid or other yg related reasons, but it made for some extremely long transitions, especially the one out of her verse. it kills the momentum of the stage in that beat, even though they manage to pick it up after.

this is a very simple little narrative arc that’s easy to follow and doesn’t require any extra explaining. which is exactly the kind of arc that groups should be doing at this stage in the game. this is a good formic step up for ikon!

i thought the turning off of the monitor at the end was fun and a good callback to them watching the videos at the beginning of the stage. a nice clean way to make it circular.

skz

costume

FINALLY something different on the skz boys! these were mostly fun eboy looks for them, and i like it on the basis that it's not the same as the last set of costumes.

bang chan out there with his thigh OUT and a (fake) bridge piercing? LOVE to see it. great work.

(copy-paste every thing i’ve said about backup dancers wearing all black)

the backup dancers that were dressed as bystanders/extras were great! they should have kept that with all of them because it would have given a little more shape to the choreography and establishing what function the backup dancers were supposed to have.

set

that is meant to be a giant rice cooker on stage, right? i think so because it's a god’s menu mashup? if that's not a rice cooker i have NO idea what its supposed to be

there’s only two large setpieces here, which was a smart way to go. i LOVE the subway car doubling as the truck, even if the truck itself makes no narrative sense. what a fun way to double the use of a single big piece. you’ll be able to see the way it moves in the full cam but it splits down the centre and there entrance doors at the back with attached stairs that bang chan and the dancers use to climb up.

lighting

not a whole lot happening here. i like the cool white leds in the subway car and the contrast with the more warm tones of the outside, which is good atmospheric establishment, but i can't discern a visible arc. 

not a fan of these projections; they’re in line with what we’ve seen from skz so far, which is: extremely literal. i dont think they’re that distracting, but they’re not to my personal taste. they really should have kept the comic panel theme that they did for changbin’s first verse, because that was inventive and fun to watch! and a great atmospheric indicator! i would love to see a bit more experimental projection use but it's hard when they don’t have a lot of time to build these stages and the lighting team is definitely working remotely.

sound

i love that they made the choice to do some actual talking, it’s a good gimmick and it works for the deadpool/comic book/fourth wall break theme, but australian accents take me the fuck out i am so sorry i cannot listen to either felix or bang chan speak english without laughing uncontrollably. 

i don’t like this arrangement but i'm not surprised about that, given my predilections. i'm also tired of skz shouting STRAY KIDS in every performance they do. i know on music shows it's probably more relevant and yea producers tags are a thing but we’ve been watching this show for nearly two months at this point. we know who you are, you can stop yelling. be more creative with it!

staging

my biggest issue with this stage is that it doesn’t have a payoff. there is an arc here: they’re stealing the truck, but why are they stealing the truck? who are they stealing it from? who are they fighting against? it's kind of important in a stage where the theme is stealing and fighting someone that you tell us who that is. in both of ateez’s previous stages were they were both stealing (rhythm ta) and fighting (wonderland), they made sure to show us who the villain was. there needs to be tension for a big blowup climax to actually pay off. whether it be against a a balloon arm kraken or a fascist government. this stage could have reached that next step if they’d just done a little bit more exposition. 

there were a lot of fun choreo moments here, and this is probably my favourite choreo of theirs so far. i thought the whole first bit in the subway car was excellent and a very fun play on those viral videos that we used to see roll around every so often of dancers doing routines in subway cars.

did it need the guns? not in the slightest. more on this point later. i could talk more about weapons and weight here, but i’ve done that several times already.

like with the tbz game of thrones stages, theyre relying a little too much on the audience's preconceptions of the source material in order to carry the theme. the guns are there because deadpool likes guns, but they don’t actually use the guns for anything? the most we get of the stealing segment is felix and the safe, which admittedly is a great bit with him leaping over and under the ‘laser’ lines (theyre likely led strips). because comic books are by nature procedural and deeply tied to narrative, it's unsatisfying when there’s no tension and no payoff.

HOW did we manage to get two stages that are blackpink covers with remote/tv static gimmick and durags? i know the slot machine of kpop tropes is not very big but surely the probability of hitting triple sevens on this one was pretty low. i’m pretty meh on both of these stages overall. skz was unsatisfying but i loved the choreo in the subway bit so that bumped it up a little ahead of ikon’s in my personal preferences, but i'm reserving my actual rankings for next week. assuming we get the other four stages next week and they dont do something stupid and only show two. which they very well might. i’ve stopped trying to understand why mnet does things the way that they do. 

as always the ask box is open, drop your comments/questions/personal opinions, i love to hear ‘em! but don’t be rude just because some of this is touchier subject material.

[breefarrow]

Just saw an anon saying ppl on twitter called ppl racist for not liking zayn or his music and ???

Y'ALL the hell is w/ twitter? IM MIDDLE EASTERN AND I DONT LIKE ZAYN'S MUSIC BRO THATS NOT RACIST??? LIKE??? HOW MANY BRAINCELLS DOES TWITTER HV? LIKE -0.0000001???

Do people not understand that different music is for different people and that not liking someone's music has NOTHING to do with their ethnicity, just your own individual taste in music. What pleases you may not please someone else. (I feel like this should be common sense?). Not only that but disliking someone for reasons that have nothing to do with their skin colour/race AGAIN do not make you racist, and again that is COMMON SENSE. Is twitter okay? They seem out of touch with reality. I never have time to check it and I'm lowkey glad I feel like I would just be annoyed with everyone now that I'm hearing how it is over there.

Also its very frustrating and annoying that if you were to post your thread on twitter you would get hate. But that to me says so much about the toxic environment that twitter clearly inhabits, where there is no room for opinions that may differ even slightly from the norm or what is popular. The fact that people are so insistent that their 'favs' can never do anything wrong is not only incredibly toxic for the fandom itself but also for the artist, who is human and will eventually likely mess up or do something the fandom does not like.

I honestly think its unfair that people have these expectations of other human beings, because they are human. It is an inevitability that they will mess up and that is okay, there is nothing wrong with that. They are at the end of the day human beings and like everyone else deserve room for error, it is much important how someone learns from their mistakes and the actions they take after said mistake, rather than the mistake they made.

I just can't fathom twitter. It sounds like a bunch of 12-15 year olds who have yet to realise that other human beings are, well, HUMAN. Which does not sound like a good combination of people. Yikes.

Sorry for writing so much, just increasingly frustrated by twitter the more I hear about it and also sorry about the fact that it's so toxic you can't even post there w/o getting hate, that's awful love :((

Anyway have a good night darling <3

Thanks anon I had a wonderful night. 😁

100% agree these people are HUMANS just like us they make mistakes stop acting like they can do no wrong. I have a mutral who was told you are racist for not liking Z music and someone else on their carrd wrote "all non OT5s are racist." Not liking someone's music has nothing to do with their ethnicity. I don't like Li's music either he has a similar styles to Z music and I just don't care for either.

Also once saw an anti say "anyone who thinks Golden is for Lou is racist" knowing damn well its just larries who say that and they want to make us look like shit people. I hate how people just throw big words around like "fetishizing" on the bird app as if they old little weight.

And i'm glad you like my post even tho I made sure to not sound anti anyone and what not [just stated the facts of what was said and what wasn't possible] I would still get hate if I posted it over there and that is why I haven't. No one over there can think for themselves they go with what the big accs say and you aren't meant to vier off the path of what everyone else thinks. It's such a toxic mindset.

[iamtaekooked]

Vanilla Rules || Ch 15 (Pjm)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers! AU, badboy! au, college! au

Word count: 10.1k

Synopsis:

The hate saga between you and baddie of the town Park Jimin rests on two very simple rules: 1.) Hate each other for the rest of your lives and 2.)under no circumstances fall in love with each other. But what happens when the possibility of love threatens this dynamic?

A/N: This was a long long long time overdue! I hope you enjoy it! Also the “dont blame for making you fall” line isn’t a 100% original. I was inspired by something similar I had read like a decade ago in some YA novel and but couldn’t remember what it was so just made my own version of it. So credit to. that book and its author. 

Ch 1 || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || Ch 6 || Ch 7|| Ch 8 || Ch 9 || Ch 10|| Ch 11 || Ch 12 || Ch 13 || Ch 14 

The incessant tapping of the pencil, the ticking of the clock on the wall opposite to you, the flipping of pages, and the sound of typing around you was making your anxiety worse. Worse because Jimin was already doing enough to make you anxious by looking at you from across the table. You didn’t know if he knew you were aware of his eyes surveying your face. It wasn’t the fact that he was looking at you. It was the way he was examining you. Whoever said eyes are the window to the soul was right because his feelings were apparent in his eyes. 

It was no secret anymore Jimin liked you. The evidence was all there: first he said it himself, second he got mad when Hoseok kissed you at the soccer game, and then he kissed you. Kissing would be an understatement. It was raw, primal energy that somehow rose from deep inside you, and even though the rational part of your brain was screaming for you to not do it, your body had already taken over. 

You could still feel the feeling of his hands on your body. The way his hands were tangled in your hair. The way his skin felt soft, and firm underneath the pads of your fingers. You couldn’t forget how warm you felt, and surge of emotions that washed over you. You remembered how his breaths had fanned your face every time you pulled apart even for a nanosecond.That soft, unnerving sensation he made you feel was still settled into your stomach and etched so deep into your mind you wouldn’t be able to forget it for a long long time. Even as you sat in front of him, your lips still tingled gently with the same tickling feeling that you had felt the night you kissed at Elijah’s party.  

You still remembered how he smelt that night: a little bit like beer and soft notes of musk and velvet from his cologne. You remembered his flushed cheeks, and intoxicated eyes which looked at you in a way that made you want to melt into a puddle of goo. He could snap his fingers and you would gladly will yourself out of existence. He tasted of beer and mint as your lips had melted together into kiss after kiss after kiss. 

Had you not been interrupted that night you would have gone all the way with him because you had lost all control. 

Jimin tapped the table using his knuckles which drew you out of your reverie. Suddenly your body felt really hot. You throat had dried like a piece of parchment and your lungs felt like they were on fire, as if you had just run a marathon. 

You cleared your throat and blinked to push away all the thoughts. “What?” your voice came out unexpectedly breathy-- well that was expected but you didn’t think you were going to sound like you had just been shown stars behind your eyes. 

Jimin’s eyes squinted as he cocked a sly brow. He licked his lips, eyes flickering to yours before he cleared his throat as well. “Were you thinking about that night?” 

You hated how he placed such emphasis on that night. “No!” your eyes widened as you gawked at him. “No way” you coughed suddenly feeling air getting stuck in your throat. 

“You’re completely red” he comments, settling back into his chair and leaning against it. Folding his arms across his chest that look was back in his eyes-- the one from that night-- like the world around you could crumble to dust and he wouldn’t blink an eye. He was looking at you in a way every woman in the world would want to be looked at-- as if you were the only thing that mattered and everything else was dust and nothing. 

His gaze did not waver as he scrutinized you ; studied you with eyes roaming all across your face. 

It took your breath away and you felt absolutely winded. “Why- why” you gulped hard. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Red is a good colour on you” he leaned in. 

You shook your head. “Stop talking like that” 

“Why? Does it make you nervous?” his lips stretched into a knowing smile, his teeth peeking from behind the little gap. He smiled like he just knew every thought, every feeling you were feeling. Like he could see deep down inside you and knew what makes you tick. Like he knew you in a way that was different from everyone else and he enjoyed it. 

“No.” you lowered your eyes back to the book. “Besides, we’re supposed to be studying” you couldn’t look up at him. You couldn’t face him anymore knowing that it was futile. Everything was futile because in this moment, nothing mattered to you. Not the book in front of you, nor the people around you, nor the trees and roads, and mountains. The world couldn’t distract you from your feelings even if it tried. 

“I don’t want to study” he answered. Suddenly, his face was blocking your view of the book as he had slid across the table.  He was looking up at you, hand cupping his cheeks and a cheeky grin on his face. He was enjoying every single moment of it. You flinched back upon seeing him like that, your back hitting the chair. 

“Dude!” you exhaled with a whisper, almost shouting. 

“Still red” he announced and lifted himself off the table and settled in his chair, his spine resting against the back.

“You are delusional. I don’t like you” you slammed the textbook so loud people around you looked up from their work. “Sorry” you looked at them sheepishly and apologized with a small nod of the head. He managed to get you so wrapped up that you forgot you were in the library.

“I did not say anything about you liking me” he quirked an eyebrow with interest. 

You did not have a comeback so you settled for the next response that came to your head. “Stop it”

Jimin let out a small laugh, and shook his head. “That’s very cute” 

“Will you stop for fucks sake? Why are you acting this way” you frowned at him, aware of why he was acting that way but his behavior was so frustrating that you had to ask. 

“Because…” he paused, as if for dramatic effect. “I li…” he paused again with the tiniest hint of a smirk at the corner of his lips. He let a few seconds pass before he closed his mouth. “Nothing” he lowered his head with a small shake and a soft chuckle. 

“You-you..you” your cheeks grew hotter by the second. “Park Jimin you are the worst person ever” you stood up, grabbed your book and your backpack that was slung haphazardly across the back of the chair. 

He did the same as he saw you and quickly gathered his belongings. While he was doing that you took the chance and walked away before he could join you. Because God knows it was the last thing you wanted.You had not even crossed the doors of the library when he fell into step beside you. 

“Stop following me” you quipped, looking straight in front of you. Once more you could feel the beating of your heart in your ears as a rhythmic vibration which had become a common occurrence lately in Jimin’s presence. 

“I am not following you y/n. I am right beside you, not behind you” he answered in an innocent tone, full well knowing your statement was not literal. 

Abruptly stopping in the middle of the hallway, you turned to face him. “I’ll ask you once again. Why are you acting so weirdly?” 

“Once again I’ll answer. It’s not weird” 

“Ughhh” you sighed and looked heavenward. “Why are you so hell-bent on complicating everything? Why can’t you just let it go”

“Let what go?” 

“I can’t let you burn me. I can’t allow you to… to make me feel as if I have no control over anything. So, stop complicating things” you replied curtly. 

Jimin scoffed. “You’re actually putting this on me? Do you think I like any of this? I fucking hate it. So don’t tell me I am the one complicating things. Why don’t you grow a spine and face your feelings?”his relaxed demeanour morphing into a more tense manner. He couldn’t understand why you couldn’t see how much he was trying and willing to be someone he was terrified of being. And all because of you. Why couldn’t you understand how absolutely terrified he was. Why could you not see past his facade and know that simple fact. 

“Yes! You are. You do things and you say things that.- ” you looked at him with an unflinching gaze and felt a wave of anger overcoming you. “It’s all because of you. We were fine weren’t we? Just the way we were was good. Why did you have to go and ruin things? Why do you have to make me feel as if-”  you sighed in frustration because you couldn’t explain to him what he makes you feel.

 Everything was so complicated. It was all so frustrating and Jimin acting like nothing was wrong, pissed you off even more. Everything was wrong. You had one unspoken rule in between you and now it was a remnant of the past. It unsettled and unnerved you. 

Jimin’s jaw clenched. “Don’t look at me the way you do then. Don’t look at me as if I matter to you. Don’t look at me like I am the only person in the room that you care about. Don’t look me in the eyes for more than a second and then blame me for making you fall” 

His words were followed by nothing but the chatter of people passing you by in the hall as both of you stared at each other. What could you possibly say to that? Because you did look at him as if he mattered. You did make the mistake ; not once, or twice. But you did it countless times without even realizing it. As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. He could never force your feelings even if he tried. You did it all on your own and now you can’t deal with it. 

“W-what?” you gaped at him.

“You still can’t see past your own stubbornness can you?” he snapped, nostrils flaring, chest heaving with effort. 

Your eyes widened and you gawked at him in shock, “You’re calling me self-centered?” 

“You are! That’s all you are. From the beginning to now. Do you have any clue how hard it was for me to say what I told you? I mean for fucks sake I was prepared to hate you for the rest of my life. The minuscule possibility of anything other than that was not even a concern for me because I was never going to allow myself to feel anything else. But…” his chest heaved with effort and he swallowed hard. 

“But, what?” 

“But all you can think about is yourself y/n. We are nothing but fools for you! You let me kiss you and I thought it meant something” he gulped, trying to make the tightness in his throat go away. 

“It-” you started

“Don’t fucking try to deny that you didn’t feel anything. But then you let Hoseok kiss you and didn’t even hesitate. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What am I supposed to think? You’ve played both me and Hoseok for fools.” 

“Are you serious right now? What the fuck do you mean I played you both like fools!” your voice rose to a shout.

Jimin’s nostrils flared and he scowled at you. “You know exactly what I mean!”. You noticed his eyes getting glossy, and a shine overcoming them. 

“Well fuck you then. We’re done here” your voice shook but you swallowed the growing tightness in your throat. 

“I think that would be best. Make up for you fucking mind y/n” his tone lowered and he shook his head. 

“Don’t you dare say that to me Park Jimin” you stepped towards him. “Don’t you fucking dare. Who the fuck was it that brought Bethany to the party. Do you think I am stupid? Don’t put all this on me because you can’t deal with your feelings” your voice quivered once more, and you bit your lip to stop yourself from letting out a sob you had been trying to choke back. 

He took a step towards you. “Tell me that on the day you figure out how to deal with your feelings” Jimin’s lip quivered. 

“You spoiled everything Jimin! I wish I had never met you. I wish I had never kissed you because it was the single worst mistake of my life.” you spat harshly. Finally the tears fell slowly. 

Jimin’s expression faltered as the frown from his face disappeared. “I wish I had never met you either” he replied through clenched teeth and the tears he had been trying to hold back slid down his cheeks.

It broke your heart. 

It broke his heart. 

Turning away from each other you went your separate ways. 

///

Your whole room was a pile of tissues and nothing else. Your nose was dry and it hurt to even touch it but the tears wouldn’t stop falling. You felt restless. There was a weird itch somewhere deep inside you which made it unable for you to focus. You couldn’t sit, nor stand. You couldn’t sleep or eat. Even when you tried to talk, you couldn’t get more than a single word out because you just felt so angry. 

Your whole body felt as if it was on edge. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. If you sat down, you wanted to stand. If you stood you wanted to lie. If you laid down, you wanted to walk around. If even for a second you felt drowsy, your stomach would tighten and all intent and desire to sleep would vanish. You did not know what to do with your hands, or the rest of your body. You really wanted to punch something. Maybe even break a few plates and cups, or scream at the top of your lungs until you lose your voice. 

Grabbing the pillow  next to you, you held it against against your face and screamed. 

“I hate you Park Jimin. I fucking hate you so much” you pulled the pillow away and sighed, hoping that with one breath all the tiredness, pain and suffering would end. But that is not how it works. Unfortunately. 

“Stupid fucking feelings” you muttered cradling your head in your hands. 

Self-blaming was a specialty of yours so naturally, you blamed a part of it on yourself because you shouldn’t even have talked to him. After that night at the party where you kissed him, you should have just distanced yourself. But you didn’t. You hated that you allowed yourself to feel something and couldn’t back off. 

How in the world could he think you were playing him and Hoseok? How was it so easy for him to put everything on you, as if he hadn’t complicated things on his end? 

The door to your room opened and Taehyung peeked his head inside. “Oh y/n” he sighed at your disheveled state. Opening the door wider he entered your room. 

“Why do you guys fight when you can’t handle the aftermath?” he shook his head as he approached you. 

“What?” you sniffled, wiping your nose with a tissue you picked up from the box next to you.

“I just met Jimin” Taehyung sat down beside you, against the headboard of your bed. 

Even after everything, a small part of you wanted to ask how he was doing. Why was it that despite being hurt a tiny part of you still felt compelled to look after his well being?

“He’s the same” Taehyung turned to look at you. “If not worse”

“I don’t care” you croaked. “He deserves to be” you felt contempt, and a lot of it. 

“I heard what happened” Taehyung stated with a soft voice. 

You felt his eyes on you, but refrained from making eye contact. What could he do? How could he possibly fix it? Hell, you didn’t even want anything fixed. At this point you wanted Park Jimin to be a distant memory. 

“I’ve never seen him cry you know?” Taehyung stared at you silently. 

“Are you trying to advocate for him right now?” you scoffed, feeling disappointed. 

“No!” Taehyung raised his hands in the air. “Not at all. He said something he shouldn’t have said. I get it. You’re angry at him. You have every right to be. But to be fair to both of you, it has been confusing. Neither of you know how to deal with your feelings” 

“I have no feelings towards him. I hate that guy” you bit through your teeth. 

Taehyung’s lips pressed into a thin line and his nose scrunched. “Right now he kinda hates you too” 

“Good. Because that’s how it’s supposed to be” you replied without hesitation. 

You heard Taehyung sighing next to you. “You have both put me in a very awkward position” 

“Trust me Tae. The position you are in is way better than the one I am in. It fucking sucks” you cradled your head in your hands.

“I know y/n. I am sorry” he gently patted your back. 

 “I don’t know what to do. I just want to slap Jimin. Honestly. He’s fucked everything up. Again. I can’t do this anymore. It’s not like I wanted any of it to happen. I was perfectly fucking content hating him. But no. He just had to go and ruin it. He’s ruined everything” you felt the tears welling up in you eyes again and tried to blink them away. 

“Just listening to you is making me feel frustrated” Taehyung chuckled softly. “If you like each other, then just forget everything else” 

“I don’t like him! besides after what he said to me, I am never going to feel anything for him ever again. The fact that I did feel something is a tragedy in and of itself” 

“It’s not that easy, bunny. This is your anger talking. Not you. We can’t control our feelings anymore than we can control our lives” his lips curved into a small sympathetic smile. 

Fuck feelings” you choked. “Fuck everything” you wiped your eyes using the back of your hand. 

Taehyung studied you silently and then he forced himself to lighten his expression with a smile. He hated seeing you sad and didn’t want to dwell on the same topic for too long knowing it would only add to your frustration.“But not ice cream!” he exclaimed with excitement as the smile stretched across his lips and reached his eyes, making the corners crinkle. 

“What?” 

“You’re sad and Jimin is sad. So naturally I feel sad too because two of my closest friends are hurt. So, lets just wallow in our misery and throw a pity-party” he pushed himself off the floor and stood up. Reaching out a hand towards you, he waited in silence. 

You looked up at him and felt thankful. For the first time in two days, your body felt lighter. Just seeing your best friend smile was enough to give you energy. So you slide your hand into his and he helped you up. 

///

You and Taehyung spent hours sitting on the couch and eating all the junk food items you could find. Sure, it felt gross and you were nauseated but there was a sense of satisfaction. You looked around and noticed there were so many tubs of ice cream, chocolate wrappers, cans of soda and wondered for a second how you managed to eat half of all that. 

Taehyung was still eating ice cream next to you. You grinned looking at him. “Thank you Tae” 

“Hmm? What?” he slowly turned his gaze away from the TV and towards you. 

“I said thank you” 

“Of course” Taehyung put down the tub of ice cream and grabbed you in a headlock and ruffled your hair but not without planting a kiss on your head. 

“Let go!” you slapped at his arm that was wrapped around your neck. 

“I love you, you crazy girl” Tae ruffled your hair once more before letting you go. 

“I wish I could say the same” you replied in a raspy voice followed by a cough. 

Taehyung laughed. “You’re crazy” 

It was silent as you both settled back and watch Star Wars, giving your complete attention to the movie. Chick flicks are a thing of the past. Now-a-days you get over your sadness by watching action movies. It’s mostly for cathartic reasons. If you can’t actually hurt the person who hurt you, then the least you can do is see other’s fight and vicariously live through it. 

Even though you were watching Star Wars, your mind was still restless. It was definitely better than before because your body didn’t feel on edge, but your mind was still stuck in the same rut. 

You know what I mean!

You could still hear Jimin’s voice in your head. The way he looked at you, the way he let himself be vulnerable enough to let a few tears slide down his face. All of it makes you feel irritated. Somehow he managed to make you feel guilty. So, how can you trust a guy like that? How can you feel anything for someone who doesn’t even show you a shred of respect and thinks you are playing him. 

Will you ever be able to explain to him your feelings?

“Stop thinking” Taehyung’s voice drew you out of reverie. 

“What?” your brows furrowed together in confusion. 

“If you’re just gonna think about him, then talk to him” 

“I am never going to talk to him again Tae. I don’t even want to see his face” your nose screwed up in irritation. 

“Well that’s going to be tough” Taehyung retorted, not exactly making you feel better. 

“Ughhh.. Don’t remind me” you propped your feet on the sofa and brought your knees to your chest. 

Just then your phone rang. 

 Your brows creased and you looked at Taehyung. You showed him your phone and his expression changed to one of confusion as well as he raised his crinkled eyebrows.

“Why is Jungkook calling you?” he questioned

“Like I would know” you replied and placed the phone to your ear. “Hello?” 

At first all you heard were sighs and grunts. The sound of heavy breathing filtered through and you wondered if he pocket dialed you while working out. 

“Bro” you heard Jungkook say through the other end. 

“Kookie?” 

“Oh- uh hey y/n” he sighed heavily. “Sorry. Jimin is fucked up right now” 

“What did he do?” you questioned

“Uhh..” Jeongguk sighed once more. “He got drunk and then he got into a fight. Someone called the police-”

“Police?” you shot up from your seat, heart racing in your chest. 

“It’s alright. I got him out” Jeongguk replied calmly. “The only problem is he won’t go home unless you come” 

“Me?” your heart quickened once more because lord knows you didn’t even want to see Jimin.

“Yeah. We’re outside the police station. He’s still drunk and half asleep yet he keeps asking for you. Please come down here. I am about to lose my mind and I might end up hitting him because he��s being annoying as fuck. Please” Jungkook pleads. 

You shake your head as if he could see you from the other side of the phone. “I can’t Jeongguk”

“Please y/n” the desperation was evident in his voice. “As much as I want to I can’t leave him here. Please. If not for him, then for me. I need your help” 

“Jeongguk” you sighed. After a moment of deliberation you agreed. “Okay. Text me where you are” 

Hanging up you turned to Taehyung. “You really meant it when you said Jimin wasn’t doing well” 

“What do you mean?” Taehyung eyed you curiously. 

“Well your friend got drunk, got into a fight, got hauled to the police station. Don’t worry Jeongguk got him out” you replied noticing Taehyung was about to speak. 

“Okay…” 

“Problem is your friend, won’t leave unless I go there. Jeongguk is seriously desperate. I am going there to help him” you explained to Taehyung who squinted his eyes at you. 

“Are you sure?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Are you sure you’re going there to help Kookie?” 

“Definitely” you nodded, making sure to look Taehyung in the eyes so he doesn’t think you are lying or conflicted. “I am pissed off at Park Jimin. I am not going there for him and honestly at this point I don’t really care for him. I am just going to help Jeongguk because he sounded exceptionally desperate over the phone” 

Taehyung nodded slowly but he didn’t look convinced. 

///

“What’s wrong with him?” you asked Jeongguk, while looking at Jimin who was nodding off. 

“He’s drunk, asleep and injured. But he kept asking for you a while back when he was still awake. Something about how he shouldn’t have been so mean” Jeongguk lips pressed into a thin line in what you assumed to be a sympathetic smile. “But thank you for coming” 

“Of course. I would help you out anytime, any day” the corners of your mouth lifted into a smile. 

“Do you mind grabbing his other arm?” Jeongguk grunted as he grabbed Jimin’s arm and helped his stand up.

You hesitated for a moment. Biting your lip you nodded your head. “S-s-sure” 

You reached for Jimin’s arm but right then the image of the you tangled withhim, his lips on yours, his hands traversing all over your body flashed in your mind. Instantly,your fingers curled into your palm just as you were about to touch him. Gulping away the tightness in your throat, you grasped Jimin’s arm and steadied him on his feet. With Jimin secured between you and Jeongguk you began walking. 

The sounds of your shuffling feet against the rough gravel, and the whistling of wind through surrounding trees was all that could be heard as you and Jeongguk stayed mum. Every now and then you could feel him glancing at you and somehow you just knew that he knew about your fight with Jimin. 

At one point you both ended up looking at each other at the same time and then awkwardly looking away with nervous laughter. 

“I am sorry y/n” he spoke softly, adjusting Jimin’s arm around the back of his shoulders. 

“Why?” 

“Because I know how hard it must be for you coming here and having to see him” he motioned his head at Jimin who was mumbling something that you couldn’t care less about. 

“Thank you for saying that” you offered him a tight lipped smile. 

“He was wrong to say what he said to you” Jeongguk continued and you wished he would drop it because being reminded of it left pangs of pain in your chest. 

“Yeah he was and I am glad you see it that way too” 

“Having said that, he’s also sorry. You didn’t see him y/n” Jeongguk peaked at you from behind Jimin’s head. “He was devastated if nothing more.I found him at the gym punching away at a sandbag until his knuckles bled. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen” Jeongguk paused. 

Somehow you were having trouble imagining a vulnerable Jimin. 

“Then despite me threatening to punch him out he went to a bar, got drunk and got into a fight with some dudes over a parking spot. He didn’t even fucking drive to the damn bar and he knew what he was doing. Because when I tried to stop him, he told me he deserves to be hit”  you glanced at Jimin’s hand which was hanging off your shoulder. It was bruised and blue. 

You didn’t know what to think or say because it sounded so unlike Jimin. 

“He doesn’t know how to express his feelings. He’s never been good at it. When he doesn’t know how to deal with something, he lashes out and says things he doesn’t mean” 

“I am pretty sure he meant it” you looked at Jeongguk straight faced because you did believe he meant it. 

Jeongguk shook his head. “I’ve known him longer than you. He didn’t” 

“Fine. Let’s say he didn’t. That doesn’t make it hurt any less” 

“I know this doesn’t make you feel better but I just wanted you to know that he did feel bad. Despite everything he has done in the past and now, he’s a good guy” Jeongguk pressed his lips together in a half-hearted smile. 

“Not to me” you whispered, his words bringing back the pang of disappointment and hurt in your chest. “Just out of curiosity, why are you telling me all this?” 

“Because I know that if Jimin was conscious he would say the same thing to you” 

You didn’t say anything but concentrated on supporting Jimin because you were starting to feel tired as all three of you stumbled. Thankfully, you didn’t have to walk far enough because his apartment was nearby. Jeongguk punched in the code for Jimin’s apartment and the door opened. You carried him through the elevator and up to the seventh floor. 

You didn’t have much time nor interest to look around his apartment. Jeongguk laid him down on the couch and ran off somewhere leaving the two of you alone. 

“Do you want water?” you heard Jeongguk calling. 

“No! I am good. Thank you!” you yelled back. You noticed that Jimin was nodding off again and couldn’t help but notice the gash on his forehead, his split lip, and bruises around his eye. 

Just how much is going to mess things up for himself?

The shuffling of feet against the marble floor alerted you that Jeongguk was coming so you quickly looked away from Jimin and slide your hands in your jacket pockets. He sat Jimin up and flicked some water on his face which made him perk up a bit. 

“Drink this” he put the rim of a glass containing some kind of green juice to his lips. 

Jimin flinched as the liquid touched his mouth. You stood and watched as he gulped it down and by the end he was coughing. Jeongguk patted his back. “Good man” hethen left again leaving you alone with Jimin, who was in a groggy state and still reeling from the taste of whatever Jeongguk gave him. 

As if he realized someone was standing over him he looked up. “Y/n?” he croaked, massaging his throat. 

 “I am leaving!” you called to Jeongguk. But he didn’t respond so you took that as your cue to leave and turned on your heels and headed towards the front door.

“Wait!” you heard Jimin. 

“I have nothing to say to you” you didn’t turn around. 

“ I am sorry” he said. He didn’t even sound sorry in the least bit. 

You turned around. “Say that to me when you really mean it” you scoffed. 

Jimin didn’t respond. He just looked at you and hung his head low. “I didn’t mean what I said” 

“Yes you did” 

He sighed and folded his arms across his chest. “I know you think I did. But I didn’t. I was just pissed” 

You chuckled bitterly. “Don’t talk to me about pissed, man. Let’s not talk about it. We’ll end up arguing again. I can’t deal with any more. It’s too much” 

“Yeah” he whispered. “Me too”. 

“Good. Because I don’t want to talk right now” you replied shortly.

You gave a curt nod, and made good on your word to leave because the universe knows that you want nothing from Jimin. Not even an apology. 

///

Jimin hadn’t come to any classes for the past three days. A sense of relief washed over you the first day you did not see him. But sure enough his fan club wasn’t very pleased with him not showing up. 

“Where is he?” one of the girls in first year whined to her friends and they all responded with solemn expressions. 

You rolled your eyes as you walked by them. Not having him around made the tight knot in your stomach and throat go away. It finally felt like you could breathe. You were still very angry at him, and you were thankful that he wasn’t there because another argument would be guaranteed if he showed up. 

On the first day after your fight you went about your life, trying to erase every trace of Park Jimin from your life. You stayed away from the gym because it would remind you of him. You stayed away from the basketball court and actively took measures to avoid running into any of his teammates. You avoided the library because you spent time with him there and it was the last place you wanted to be because just thinking about it brought memories of the argument back. You even skipped going to Monet’s with Taehyung because that is where you first realized this complicated thing called “feelings” between you and Jimin. You also skipped going to the soccer field to cheer on Hoseok for a friendly game with a rival college because it also reminded you of Jimin.  

On the second day of Jimin’s absence you spent most of your time in the student lounge studying and working on assignments. You ended up making friends with an exchange student and showed him around town. It was a perfect day, away from college, away from people who were associated with Jimin. You went to karaoke with your new friend Jaden, and had a blast belting out one song after another. Following the past few stressful months, this was the release you needed. Your body felt so light, and you could feel the endorphins having a positive effect because you felt a surge of energy and happiness. 

The third day brought about a whole day of classes devoid of Jimin which was perfect because you had no distractions. For once in months, you could finally concentrate on your lectures and managed to understand whatever was being taught. That felt like such a huge accomplishment that the rest of the day you had a skip to your step, and a huge smile on your face. Not to mention you ended up acing the in class quiz after the lecture which also helped elevate your mood. After having one failure in your life after another, one drama after another, doing well on a quiz provided you with a sense of self-satisfaction which you realized you had forgotten the feeling of. 

“Wow, you’ve got a glow” Yoongi offered you his usual gummy smile. 

“I aced the quiz and I finally after months was able to attend a lecture properly with full focus” you returned his smile and sat down across him on the cafeteria table. 

“Good for you!” he nodded. “Listen, Valentine's day is coming up-” 

“Ughhh. No. Whatever you are about to ask me, my answer is no” you shook your head vigorously. It was such a pointless occasion, you still couldn’t understand why half the world obsessed over it. 

“Chill. We were thinking of hosting a spring dance but a Valentines’ day theme and I wanted to ask if you would be kind enough to grab the decorations from the old art studio. Also, I wanted to know if you would come to the dance” 

“Fine” you sighed. 

“So you’ll come?” Yoongi looked at you with anticipation

“I meant fine that I will get you the docrations. But, no. I won’t come. No offense but I have a very different opinion about this “holiday” compared to other people. So, no” 

“I am not a fan either but we haven’t had a fun event in the months after that camping trip we took. Kind of feels dry so one of the student council members suggested we do this to bring up everyone’s spirits” Yoongi eyed you. 

“Yeah” you shrugged. “Do it. But don’t count on me. I am going to stay home and relax” you stretched your arms in front of yourself, feeling the tiredness finally leaving you. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “So much for school spirit” 

“I don’t have any” you replied coolly. 

///

The fourth day, Park Jimin showed up which was announced by the screams of first year girls. Your heart sank into your chest as you watched him approach your direction. You clutched the book tighter around your chest, knuckles turning white around the binding. Your eyes met, and no matter how much you wanted to look away you couldn’t. The closer he came, you noticed the small cut on the corner of his upper lip, and a small gash on his forehead partly hidden by his fringe, looked better than the day he got into the fight.

He didn’t take his eyes off you either. You gulped, noticing the quickening beat of your heart. Despite everything, that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach, under your skin was back. You had hoped it would have gone away but it didn’t as the moment you saw Jimin you started feeling it again. Your throat constricted once more, which happens when you are about to cry. Your stomach twisted, and your breathing fastened. 

He was still coming towards you and you were frozen. As if your feet had been stuck with glue to the floor. The urgency to move grew within the pit of your stomach but your legs wouldn’t move. Jimin was close. 

Move 

Move 

Move 

Just at the right moment you felt a tug to your arm and found yourself looking at Hoseok. You glanced towards Jimin’s direction from the corner of your eyes and noticed him looking at you and Hoseok. 

“Hi Hoseok” you smiled. 

“Long time no see” his cheeks blushed a slight pink colour. 

“Yeah” you avert your gaze down to the floor for a moment and then looked up at him. 

“How have you been?” you question offering a small smile. 

“Busy. I’ve got to start preparing for the upcoming season so I am just headed to practice” the corners of his mouth upturned into a bright grin. 

“No rest for you huh!” you teased. “Well, I won’t keep you from it. Good luck and don’t stress too much about it” 

“Thanks” Hoseok smiled and held out his arms towards you. 

You blinked for a second before realizing he was leaning in for a hug. You let his arms enclose around you and with your free arm patted his back. He tightly squeezed you and lifted you off your feet, immediately making you giggle. He gently set you down and pulled back. “I’ll see you around” 

“See you. Have fun at practice” you nodded and then he pivoted on his heels and strolled away past the crowd of students, and behind Jimin. 

He was still standing at the same spot and he had seen everything. It didn’t matter but you knew it couldn’t mean anything good given past experiences. You let yourself look at him for one more moment before turning the opposite way and vanishing behind the group of first year girls who were whispering, and squealing. 

It shouldn’t have affected you. Seeing him should have been a normal occurrence-- the way you notice other people around you and forget about them-- that’s how it should have been with Jimin. But it wasn’t. It was so much more than that. Before your mind could even react your body had taken over and you felt everything all over again. 

All sense of relief had been washed away the moment you saw him. Your stomach felt tight, and you were sure you were going to lose your appetite again. You did not like it one bit-- the way he was looking at you and Hoseok and you wondered if he would get into another fight with him. 

“Deep breaths” you mumbled to yourself. “Deep breaths” the thought in itself was enough to provoke anxiety. 

You turned a corner and entered the old art studio to look for the decorations that Yoongi had asked you to. You were thankful that for at least a little bit you would have something to distract you. 

The moment you opened the door a gust of dusty wind greeted you, immediately making you cough. The entire studio was filled with old canvases, and boxes containing decorations labeled with different events in the past. Stepping in further you tried to find the light switch, but even as you flicked it up and down the lights did not turn on. So, you opened the door wider to let sunlight filter into the dim room. 

Cautiously, you stepped over a bunch of canvases that had toppled over and made your way to the back of the room which was lined with giant boxes. Scanning through all the rows you found the two labeled “VD” which you assumed meant Valentines day. Standing on your tiptoes you reached an arm up to grab the box which happened to be on the top row. 

Geez. Thanks universe

Groaning and grunting with effort, you tried to extend your arm further but it wouldn’t reach. Looking around you surveyed your surroundings for some kind of a step stool, or even a stable enough box you could step on. But alas, as your luck would have it, there is nothing you can use. Not even a ladder. 

“Just one more fucking thing that won’t go right” you sighed and looked heavenward, silently praying to the man upstaird for some help. 

And help he did send. Just not in the form of something useful like a ladder. 

“Y/n?” 

The familiar voice tugged at your heart, which sank deep into the depths of your stomach as you felt your gut twisting into knots once more. 

“Jimin?” your eyes widened in horror as you whispered to yourself without looking back at him because the whole frickin universe knows you don’t want to. Why is he even here? 

“What are you doing here?” he questioned. 

You heard his footsteps coming closer and had half a mind to run past him, but that would only have been possible if you could clearly see. But there was just enough light to illuminate vague shapes in the darkness. It was a guarantee that if you tried you would trip over something and that would bring its own unnecessary embarrassment. 

You sighed heavily before turning to face him. 

“I could ask you the same” you rolled your eyes, hardly able to believe your fate. But then again everything that has happened so far wasn’t exactly the definition of stellar. 

“Yoongi told me to get decorations for some spring dance or something” he stepped further into the room,blocking the single ray of light coming in through the door and all you could see of him was a dark outline of his body. 

“What? He told me to do that?” your nose scrunched in confusion. “I swear if you are pulling some kind of stunt on me, there is plenty in here that I can kill you with” you threatened as you retreated deeper into the room, accidentally stepping over something hard. Stupid Park Jimin was blocking the light and you didn’t want to say anything because the less you spoke to him the better it would be for both of you. 

“Why would I do that?” you could hear the outrage in his voice. 

“Oh I don’t know” you paused. “Maybe because you have a history of trying to make my life a living hell” Despite that though, something felt off. 

You heard him sigh. He didn’t say anything and you felt glad for it. 

Shaking your head you turned d to face the myriad of boxes staring back at you, two of which were waiting to be taken out so you could deliver them to Yoongi. Although you tried once before, you tried again to reach up to the box but only managed to get your finger tips scratching against the box. It wasn’t enough height to actually grip it. 

“You’ll hurt yourself” you heard Jimin behind you. 

“I’ll do it. So leave. I don’t want to talk to you” you strained as you spoke still trying to reach for the box. 

Thud 

You flinched and turned back around to find that the door had been shut behind Jimin.

“Shit!” you ran for the door, shoving Jimin out of your way and almost knocking him over. “No!” you shook the door as hard as you could to try and open it, but it wouldn’t open. “Hey! We’re in here!!” you yelled as you pounded at the door. “Open it!” 

“It’s pointless. It was Yoongi” Jimin’s statement makes you give up. 

And then it made sense to you. Of course it was Yoongi. But it wasn’t just Yoongi. It was Taehyung and Jeongguk too. You could see Taehyung’s name written all over this. They knew about your fight with Jimin. He would obviously have told Jeongguk, and Taehyung would have informed Yoongi-- because why not your life is a damn drama anyway. 

“Fucking idiots” you groaned as you tried to pry open the door once more by violently pulling at the door handle. 

“Save your breath” you heard Jimin and your immediate reaction was to roll your eyes. 

You were half expecting him to apologize to you by now-- but you should have known better. It’s Jimin, and you should know by now to not have any expectations from him at all. Yet knowing that, you still somehow ended up with expectations. Jimin could never be the man you wanted him to be yet there you were agonizing over him and how you felt about everything. 

Despite everything, the nervous knots in your stomach still lingered behind the anger that was starting to boil over. Your heart somehow still managed to beat frantically against your desperate wishes for it to not. In spite of the frustration, you still felt unnerved, and completely helpless without control over your own mind and body. It served to add to your agitation because what could be more pathetic than feeling all these emotions because of someone you were adamant on hating, yet unable to do so? 

You hated how much control Jimin had over you and yet none at all at the same time. He was right. It wasn’t his fault you felt all these feelings when you were the one who looked at him and built expectations in your head. He never forced you, never asked you to worry for him. Yet you did. So how could you blame him and not yourself when a part of it was of your making? 

A long exasperated sigh left your mouth and as you slid against the floor and fell on your butt.

It was absolutely dark in the room. Whatever light had been coming in was blocked by the closed door. You closed your eyes and rested your head against it, bringing your knees to your chest and just waiting, no clue for what. It was not like you were magically going to get whisked away from the room and away from Jimin although that would have been a very welcome occurrence. 

Then you felt a flash of light causing you to open your eyes.You noticed Jimin had turned on the flashlight from his phone and was walking towards you. There was nowhere else to run towards so you stayed where you were. 

He mirrored your posture and collapsed next to you, leaning against the door as well. 

Neither of you spoke, and you both actively avoided looking at each other. You fiddled with your hands while Jimin tapped his foot on the ground. From the corner of your eyes you could see him biting his nails. 

As if the room wasn’t stuffy enough already, now you were stuck with Jimin and every breath you took seemed to get stuck in your throat. But this was not anything new because feeling suffocated around Jimin was like an occupational hazard. His foot tapping was starting to drive you nuts because it forced you to focus on him and that was the last thing you wanted to do. Not that you could have focused on anything else even if he weren’t sending you a reminder of his presence. 

“Stop it!” you snapped, slapping his knee. 

Immediately he stops but not without sending you a glare. “What the hell?” 

You sighed. “Just shut up” 

“I wasn’t the one that started it” he responded shortly. 

“Fine. I’ll end it then. Let’s not talk” you shook your head. “Unless you will apologize” you mumbled under your breath but not too quietly because you did want him to hear it. 

“How the fuck are we supposed to get out of here if we don’t talk about it?” he turned to face you, his profile illuminated by soft light. 

“I am going to call Yoongi, and tell him that we talked it out and we’re good because I am 99% sure they pulled this stunt because they wanted us to talk about whatever happened” you pulled out your phone and were in the midst of dialling Yoongi’s number when Jimin grasped your wrist and pushed your hand down to  prevent you from calling. 

“But we haven’t talked” 

“They don’t need to know it. Just put on those awesome acting skills of yours to use and we’ll pretend we’re good” you wrested your wrist out of his grasp. 

“Stubborn as always, Jesus” he shook his head and sighed in what sounded like disappointment. 

It worked it gaining your attention because you put your phone away. “Do you really think I want to talk to you after you basically implied I am some kind of two timing slut?” 

“That’s not what I meant!” Jimin immediately defends himself. 

“Sounded exactly like that” you squinted your eyes at him and glared.

“It wasn’t” he matched your gaze. 

But he still did not apologize. 

“Wow. You just can’t admit you are wrong can you?” the anger you were feeling bubbled over in your voice 

“Fine! I shouldn’t have said that. I was wrong!” he throws his hands in the air. 

“Great! Thanks. That totally sounds like a sincere apology” you stood up and dusted your jeans. You dialled Yoongi’s phone once again. 

“Y/n” came Yoongi’s voice. 

“Get us out of here” you said curtly, losing patience by the second. 

“Did you guys talk?” he questioned sounding thoroughly unconvinced. 

“We did. He apologized. I forgave him. We’re good and please don’t expect anything else” 

“I know better than that with you two” he chuckled. “Fine we’re on our way” 

You hung up. Great. There is more waiting around yet. Jimin was still sitting on the ground with his head between his knees. You glanced down at him and couldn’t help but roll your eyes. How could he not be sincere about it? Your hand clenched into a fist the more you dwelled on it and you raised it in the air to hit him when he lifted his head. You quickly put your hand by your side, planted your face against the door and pretended as if you were looking outside. 

He stood up, dusted his clothes off. “Y/n-’

“Nope” you craned your neck further against the door as if it would help. The only thing that would do was give you a neck cramp. 

“Fine. Fuck it” he snapped. 

Your brows creased in confusion at his reaction and you turned to face him. “Seriously?” you scoffed. “How can you-” 

The door opened and gust of wind blew through your hair. 

“Ah there you guys are” Yoongi appeared in your line of sight as you blinked multiple times to adjust to the light. “Still alive” he chuckled. 

“Can’t say the same for you” you slapped him on the arm. Hard. 

“Ow!” he rubbed the spot where you hit him. 

“Yay! You didn’t kill each other” Taehyung stepped out from behind Yoongi, offering you an awkward smile. 

“I am going to kill you” you glared at him and he averted his gaze.Jeongguk peeked in from behind the other door and offered a sheepish smile. “You too” you glared at him and he too looked away. 

You shoved past all three of them, hearing small groans and mumbles of complaints as you left. 

///

After the incident with Jimin and you being locked in the same room, you decided it was best to go home and rest. You did not have any other classes, and besides you felt too angry to want to talk to Yoongi, Jeongguk, and Taehyung. How could they do you like that? Taehyung especially knew how you felt about it, so how could he even think that you would be okay with something like that? 

You knew the moment your eyes started growing heavy, you had been pushed past your limit. So, after multiple sleepless nights you let the drowsiness engulf you and drown you in a deep sleep. 

A loud obnoxious knock on the door awoke you from your peaceful nap. Finally after so many days you had no afternoon class because the professor was sick and Taehyung also wasn’t home. But it seemed even a few hours of peace were not in your kismet. You stretched your arms over your head and groggily stood up, dragging your feet towards the door. 

You opened the it in your half asleep state and- “Jimin?” 

You were awake. Completely alert and awake. 

He shoved past you and inside. 

“What the-” you followed behind him. “I didn’t say you could come in” 

He was already sitting on the couch. “I know. Sit” he motioned to the spot next to him. 

“Why are you here?” you folded your arms defensively 

“To apologize” he sighed. “Sit” he said sternly, not removing his gaze from you. 

You didn’t want to give in so you dug your heels into the ground and stared back with a blank expression. 

Jimin pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Always so fucking stubborn”. He looked up at you again. “Sit down” 

“Doesn’t seem to me that you are here to apologize” you snapped tapping your foot on the ground. 

“Not until you sit down” he insisted. “Look. I am not here to fight or pick an argument with you. So please sit down” 

You regarded him in silence. He was just staring at you with conviction in his eyes. His gaze was unflinching. 

1 second

2 seconds

3 seconds

4 seconds

“Oh for fucks sake, sit down y/n” Jimin yelled making you flinch. 

“Stop yelling!” you matched the loudness of his voice after composing yourself. “And no, I don’t want to sit. I don’t want to talk about anything” you turned on your heels and headed towards the door. You turned the handle and just as you were about to open the door, it shut with a loud thud making you flinch. 

You felt a tug at your arm. 

“What are you doing!?” you pressed hard against his chest using your palms, but he did not budge. “Let me go!” you yelled just as his hands enclosed around your wrists and he pinned you against the door. He was holding your wrists against his chest as he pressed you further against the door. 

It was too close for comfort. 

“No. I won’t. You have to listen to me” 

“I don’t want to” you tried to wrest your hands from his grasp but his hands only tightened around your wrists in response. “Jimin, it’s hurting” 

“Good. Because I am hurting too. Why the fuck wont you just listen to me?!” he snapped. 

“Because!” you yelled. “Because I know what it will lead to and I don’t want that to come” your vision grew misty because of tears. 

“Why!” he pulled you towards himself, your hands still pressed against his chest.

“I don’t know. I am just scared. I am terrified of this Jimin. Don’t you see?” you swallowed hard to choke back a sob. 

“Yeah. Like it’s so easy for me right?” his eyes searched yours for any kind of indication that you understood. “You do not understand how frustrating this is for me” 

“I don’t understand? I can’t do anything Jimin! I can’t even sleep. I feel suffocated all the time and there is this tightness in my stomach that I am always trying to get rid of. Are you happy that you have created a mess out of me?” you glared at him feeling the heat rising in your body.

He scoffed. “I have never met anyone in my life who could destroy me so gently in the way that you have. I meant it when I said I was prepared to hate you forever. I was. I never thought I could feel anything other than dislike for you. But something changed. I know you don’t like talking about this but hear me out” he said when he noticed you were going to speak. He let go of your wrists and leaned in while placing both his hands on either side of you, effectively trapping you between himself and the door.

“These past few months have been the most frustrating, agonizing, and painful months of my life. I didn’t want my feelings to change. God knows, I tried. I tried so hard to make them go away. I tried to distract myself with girls to get away from my feelings. I know you are aware of why I brought Bethany to the party. Y/n, you have to know how unbearably difficult this is for me.I am absolutely terrified every time I am around you” he chuckled to himself. 

“Right now, I can’t even breathe because you are in front of me. My heart is going crazy in here” he pointed to his chest, eyes never wavering away from yours. “All I can hear are the vibrations of my heart beating so loud that I feel like I’ll have a heart attack. I am barely able to hear myself. You do something to me. Every single time I am near you, I just forget who and what I am supposed to be” 

“Jimin-”

“No” he shook his head. “I need you to know this. You and Hoseok, I don’t know what your dynamic is. I don’t know what you feel for him. It makes me jealous seeing you with him because I know what he feels for you” he cleared his throat because his voice quivered. “And because I know what he feels for you, I am terrified” 

“Why?” you asked, despite not wanting to interrupt him because you needed to understand this part of him if you ever wanted to truly understand the depth and complexity of his feelings. 

“Because I don’t want you to like him. Because he’s a better man than I am and a hundred times more deserving of you. Because I know you will be happier with him. Because at the end of the day I know you could do better than me. But the saddest part is I can’t do better than you and I know it. There’s you and then there’s nothing” he paused, trying to collect his thoughts. 

“It’s incredibly selfish of me to want you. I’ve spent my whole life trying to get rid of the empty feeling inside of me. Most of the fucked up things I have done in my life; booze, smoking, mindless sex-- it’s all because I had never truly felt anything. But then you happened and all of a sudden I felt the whole fucking spectrum of emotions. This isn’t an excuse for my past behaviour in any way. But it’s true” he bit his lip and let go of your wrists.

Dumfounded, all you could do was stare at him. “I-I didn’t know…” you trailed off unable to find the right words to say. Every single word of his hit you like a ton of bricks. You never thought he was capable of feeling so much because he always put on his don’t-give-a-shit- act on. 

He laughed softly. “You couldn’t have. I suck at showing my feelings. I don’t know what to do with myself when I am around you. I guess that’s why I do stupid shit” 

Silence followed Jimin’s words as both of you avoided looking at each other. Being this vulnerable with each other was not exactly something you were comfortable with.

“I am not playing you or Hoseok for fools” you said in a quiet tone which made Jimin look up at you. 

“Y/n-” 

“No. Let me finish. I don’t know what I feel for you. But Hoseok is just a friend. I don’t have any feelings for him. Yes he’s a very nice guy, but he’s not the right one for me because if he was I would already like him. But I don’t. Not in that sense. Being around you is suffocating for me too. You-” you chuckle to yourself. “You make me feel things no one has before. The night we kissed, I had never felt that way before. But whatever this is between us, it won’t work” you shake your head. 

“You’re right. It won’t because you have already made up your mind. I am sick of trying to be better so that I can feel like I deserve you. But you won’t even give me a chance” 

“What would change if I did? Hmm?” 

“Everything” he whispered, his eyes conveying desperation that you were feeling too. 

“What then?” you shrugged. 

He looked at you, trying his best to understand what you were feeling. But he couldn’t. 

“What are you scared of?” 

“You” you whispered. “ How do I trust you? How do I trust that you won’t hurt me?” 

“I won’t” his hands moved from beside you, to cup your cheeks. “I won’t” he whispered as he left a feather light peck on your forehead. You eyes closed instinctively, and your hands clenched into fists beside you. 

He pulled back to look at you. “It’s always been about you y/n. All of it”

You opened your eyes to look up at him. “Then prove it to me” 

“I promise I will” he replied.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Don’t forget to like or reblog if you enjoyed reading this! Feedback is welcome as always. Thank you for taking the time to read :)

[klaus-is-the-real-number-1]

I Wanna Be Adored (number 5 x reader)

A/N: wowe surprise its a five fic!!!!! anyways i was having major writers block on a different fic n got this idea,, just some cute fluffy five post apocalypse after they saved the world but dont travel back n everything’s good in the world :) also yet again teen five like 16 :)

Context: After the the Hargreeves saved the world from the apocalypse, Five still hadn’t recovered from his years living alone. He never slept well so always drowned himself in coffee to keep energised, until he met you.

Words: 1247

Froth swirled in the untouched cup of black coffee, looking like a hurricane coming over to attack. You heard Five sigh, placing his mug of now cold coffee onto your side table, you glance over at Five. He was sat with his back against the wall with his head tilted back, exposing his adams apple and the pale skin of his neck, his eyes lazily scanned the softly lit room, he appreciated the neatness and the calm it radiated. The room in question, your room, had cream coloured walls with random drapes of fairy lights and burst of pictures and posters, it was homely, just stepping into the room felt like the weight was lifted from Fives shoulders and replaced with a warm blanket. Not too mention the atmosphere was just right, music softly playing in the background and not to mention a more than welcoming bed, the softest bed Five had ever laid down on.

“When you asked me to come over I didn’t think you’d be doing your work.” he whined, flattening out the sheets next to him with his hands. “I though we we’re gonna, you know? Cuddle and sleep like we always do.” He says with slight annoyance, looking at you with puppy dog eyes. “Y/N.” He dragged out the last syllable of your name.

You finish the final part of your work, making sure to lay your pen down with enough force to make a small noise as it makes contact with the word filled paper. “Ok so I’m sure you invited yourself here and you know I’ve got to finish my work on Friday nights so I get a free weekend.” You watch as his shoulders sink and he puts on his best pouty face. You just could’t keep a straight face watching him put this act on for some attention, a smirk came over Fives face full well knowing that he’d won you over. 

Making your way over to him on your bed, you gently kiss the side of his neck and pull him down onto your bed, your limbs were intwined and you get comfy; you both sink down into the comfort of the bed, hearing him sigh with content, you smile, wondering how you got so lucky.

In the background, I Wanna Be Adored by the Stone Roses came on, you softly hummed the tune, aimlessly drawing patterns on Fives hands that were wrapped round your waist, he sunk his head into the crook or your neck, feeling his soft breaths against the base of your neck, slow and calm. Five slowly loosened his grip as he drifted off to sleep, holding you in his arms.

‘I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be adored. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be adored. You adore me’ You smile at the lyrics of the song, running a hand through Fives hair, letting the promising drowsiness of sleep take over your body, putting you into a trance.

The next day, you walk hand in hand with Five back to the Academy almost skipping ahead of him talking excitably about everything new you learnt that week, he would hum in agreement and swing your interlocked hands almost childlike. 

Nearing the doors of the Academy, Five turned too you. “Come inside with me?” He squeezed your hand. “We’ve got to be quite going in though, I don’t think they know I was out last night.”  

“Okay.” 

“Maybe okay can be our always.” He raised his eyebrows jokingly, you giggled, lightly hitting his arm.

“Shut up.” You say as he beams down at you, pulling you towards the door and placing a finger against his lips before gently opening the door to the Academy, he pulled you in front of him before closing the doors. 

You both quietly make your way towards the carpeted stairs attempting to avoid any hard surfaces, until the floor betrays you, creaking loudly. You looked at Five mumbling a quick ‘shit’.

 Before taking another step a voice spoke up from the other room. “Five, is that you?” Footsteps echoed throughout the empty hallways until a head popped out from around the corner. “Five, what time do you call- oh!” The mans eyes landed on you, suddenly stopping his sentence. 

“I’m Y/N, I’m a friend of Fives.” You give a warm smile, hoping to receive one back.

“Diego.” He said firmly, eyeing you up and then his eyes land on your interlocked fingers. “And I think you look a bit more than friends.” Your face went red, quickly releasing your grasp on Fives hand and placing them in your pocket. You all stood in an uncomfortable silence, you feel Five place a hand on your back.

“Thank you Diego for your observation, good to see you’re not blind. Now, if you don’t mind we’ll be going upstairs now.” He gave a shit eating grin to Diego before beginning to lead me towards the stairs.

“Not so fast, you still need to explain why you weren’t here last night. You know you can’t just run off.” You feel Five lower the hand resting on your back with a loud sigh he looks from you to Diego.

“I was at y/n’s house, I don’t think you realise how claustrophobic this house and all of you can be. It’s suffocating.” Five looks at his brother, hoping Diego would understand. 

“But you can’t jus-”

“We’re going upstairs now.” Five interrupted Diego. Grabbing your hand Five lead you upstairs quickly taking two steps at a time. 

He pulled you into his room and firmly shut the door, he embraced you, resting his head down on your shoulder. You leant into his grip, ever since you first met Five he loved any form of contact that you guys had and took any opportunity to be held or shown some affection. Pulling you onto his bed you look at the scribbles on his wall, complicated maths and physics equations constantly confused you, it always did and whenever you’d question Five about it he’d just shrug it off and call it his drunken scribblings.

“I’m sorry.” Five spoke in a soft voice. “My siblings just don’t know when to just back off sometimes.” He played with your fingers as he spoke. You smile looking down at his show of affection.

“It’s okay, I mean if my sibling didn’t come home or tell me where they’d gone I’d be pretty worried. I think it just shows how much they care about you.” He hummed in agreement, you could see where Diego was coming from being worried about Five not telling him where he was.

Five yawned loudly, stretching his arms out around you. “You know Five, since I met you I swear all you do is sleep.” You smile at him, pushing his fringe out of his eyes.

“I’m just not drinking as much coffee anymore.” He said matter-o-factly. “I used to not be able to sleep very well so I’d just drink a lot of coffee to keep myself awake but I guess I just don’t have to anymore. I’ve been sleeping really well recently when I’ve been with you.” You smile as you feel him gently press a kiss to the side of your head. You smile contently, beginning to close your eyes, his heartbeat sounding like sweet music to your ears.

“Five, do you have a girl in your room?” A distance voice was heard echoing through the academy.

“Shit.” He mumbled into your hair, you knew it was going to be a long day in the Academy.

[patchdotexe]

gonna ramble abt hlvrai appearance headcanons bc im trying to figure out how to draw everybody

gordon: exhausted rectangle. bulky even w/o the hev suit. taller than coomer, shorter than bubby, usually on par w/ benrey unless theyre fucking around. honestly even tho i draw him the most i still have NO IDEA how to draw him. FUck you can never take ponytail gordon away from me. he has a short but fluffy ponytail and its cute. also has messy bangs, might bandwagon onto “gordon has a grey streak in his hair from stress” i keep waffling on his arm bc like. im v inconsistent w if he gets it back or not, or has a prosthetic, or w/e looks either tired or exasperated 75% of the time, like he Does have an emotional range but his resting face is Tired post-resonance cascade

benrey: long hair, really messy and always tangled. somehow fits it under their helmet. looks human, if rather pale. skin has a slight grey tinge to it. also looks like they havent slept in 5 years. eyes are in permanent shadow even w/o their helmet but it just makes them look More Tired. eyes always half-lidded & expression apathetic. starts looking Less human at certain parts, like having sharp teeth when being threatening or doing the Evil Cackle. has the thing where their eyes glow in the dark if you shine a flashlight at them (it scares the shit out of gordon). teeters on the edge of the uncanny valley scale relative to other people is always inconsistent, changes height when no one’s looking to mess with them and it’s always either very minimal or “something’s different about benrey but hell if i know what” or “wait since when was benrey That tall”. not really sure abt bodyshape so that also might be a bit fluid black hair, eyes are a v dark colour

tommy: very tall and lanky w/ super curly hair & freckles! might have a tooth gap idk, im kinda back-and-forth on it. been trying to draw him Actually Looking Like An Adult bc like. he’s older than gordon. i dont really have any hcs for species stuff so he’s just like. human appearing. WAIT ACTUALLY his eyes do the glow-in-the-dark thing bc i think thats cool. like, actually glowing, not like benrey’s “shine a flashlight at me and shit your pants” thing. his ability to survive despite his high caffeine&sugar intake might also be a biological perk tommy is just. long. long face, long nose, long body. tallest of the science team unless benrey cheats. brown eyes, but they glow kinda orange-yellow in the dark i kinda wanna give him like. sneakers w/ loosely tied laces but im worried abt making him Too Childlike in vibes bc of like. yeah. i just also want the 3 scientists to have Some kind of unique outfit quirk

coomer: looks soft but is actually strong as hell. he’s built like a bear. shortest member of the science team but could easily carry all of them at once (except maybe benrey, depending on benrey’s size) has no exterior signs of his cybernetic enhancements so gordon thought he was joking until the PowerLegs:tm: thing where he just. fucking launched himself like 100 feet. probably has like, synthetic skin over it or something iunno wears tacky hawaiian shirts under his labcoat and just. generally has Fun Grandpa vibes. rolls up his sleeves at some point and then they just Stopped Existing w/ the activation of superplayer very round shapes! hair is very fluffy. eyes are a dark green (same as “ominous text” colour)

bubby: second tallest behind tommy, also a bit noodley but not as exaggerated. tommy is long circle, bubby is Long Rectangle im really torn on drawing him with Sharp Teeth bc i love seeing other ppl draw him w/ that but it didnt really vibe with me when i drew it? so i dunno im workshopping it i guess. he does have eyes behind his glasses but his glasses are mostly opaque so its hard to tell sometimes. gordon isn’t sure how he sees has like.. god idk what to call them. the term coming to mind is “platform shoes” but there’s no way thats it. ACTUALLY YEA GOOGLE SAYS IT IS bubby wears platform shoes to be Even Taller but is STILL shorter than tommy

also some ocs under the cut fdhgkzjdfgh

andi: just over 5 feet tall, very chubby / potato-shaped. this man has No muscle mass. hair is Ridiculously fluffy & is dyed orange (his natural colour is brown). his right eye is a bit fucked up so he’s always squinting with it and it makes his expressions look really weird gdzhkdjghdfj he probably needs glasses but keeps leaving them at his desk which is definitely not something i do he’s the shortest & youngest member of the science team. he’s just barely shorter than coomer. coomer can also definitely throw him straight up and he’d never be seen ever again has his labcoat sleeves pushed up / rolled up (its inconsistent) to the elbow, & wears plain colour t-shirts under it. his boots help him feel taller some of our self-insert ocs have scars on their arm bc of personal shit and im still undecided on if andi has them too. if he does, he gets them during the black mesa incident

john: short kinda-curly hair, but has been considering growing it out post-game bc of like. gordon reasons. kinda scruffy-looking. less square than gordon is + different build, but theyre the same height at least. brown eyes, hair’s darker than gordon’s, skintone is lighter. doesn’t quite have the “resting tired face” p much exclusively wears beanies and hoodies, doesnt care too much abt his appearance so he looks like a Trash Man. starts rolling up his right sleeve post-act 3 to remind himself that his arm is, in fact, there (although he has difficulty using it bc his brain gives him like 500 errors)

[sirfluffig]

(Sir) Silvio Durante

Chosen of Laverna

"I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly … stupid."

- Captain Jack Sparrow

Silvio Durante is the first son of a rather big family which originates in Rome itself. While their family tree is able to spread into hundreds upon hundreds other families, there is one consisting line of Durantes throughout almost all of history and it doesn't seem like there is going to be much change in the future. It is a family tradition that the children of said family branch are sent to the locally very known Olympia School of Magic to get educated under a specific gods guidance. While Family Durante is known for mostly being guided by the gods Mars and Iuno, there always were a few outsiders. Nonetheless, they accept any honorable Guide with welcoming open arms.

As part of this particular family branch, the young Silvio Durante was born in Rome and was homeschooled in fight and wisdom by his respective tutors, seeing that his parents never got the time to actually care for him. But these tutors were merely anyhow successful in their work and ethics. Silvio is a rather mischievous and cunning student, his overly developed charisma allowed him to charm his way out of problems, for example when he forgot to do his homework or mocked the teacher... while his bright and resourceful mind helps him coming up with a plan B if his silver tongue won’t be enough. 

If not forcefully tutored, Silvio spent a lot of time alone in his dark and shadowy room reading, drawing or partly also singing in foreign tongue that he picked up along the way. He also is very fascinated by muggle stage magic which lead him to train cards tricks and other classical manners of illusions and manipulation.

While many people may consider it unhealthy, Silvio actually did a lot of things under the cloak of the darkness, which can be dated back to the earliest days of his childhood, when he turned off the lights as soon as he entered a room, claiming that he would see better that way. 

Later on, when Sir Cyrus Durante and his wife Lady Fiona Durante got suspicious of their son's unique behaviour, they took him to see a children's doctor. Said doctor discovered that bright and pure lights lead to unspeakable painful headaches for the noble adept. From this day on, Silvio mostly slept through the day and rose to act at night. When he was awake during daytime, Silvio often wore and still wears sunglasses to protect his sensitive eyes. The general lack of sunlight made the boys skin turn very pale and prone to sunburns if not covered in cloth.

Now you might think that such an extroverted character shouldn't be all alone every day, only having himself around and even though he appears to be a social chameleon, Silvio prefers to keep away from the warm and bustling cities.

So it is indeed no wonder that when he attended the Olympia School of Magic, upon the sorting he was chosen by nobody less than the infamous and often quite mistrusted  Goddess of Lies, Trickery and Darkness: Laverna. Also known as the Matron of Criminals, Mother of Thieves and Protector of Charlatans.

The Durante family had to endure a lot of outsiders in their noble family, where honored warfare and educational wisdom are the top priorities and yet they gladly accepted these breaks but being chosen by such a disgraceful and unhonorable deity, couldn't be left unpunished in the eyes of Lord and Lady Durante.

Silvio was disowned and renounced all connections to his yet so "loyal" family that very day. Who takes care of him now, is broadly unknown and not an easy to access information. Some students mumble about the rumour that Silvio has been taken in by the Darkness or Laverna herself, but these are all just theories.. 

While receiving the blessing of said generous trickster, Silvio got a lot of helpful abilities bestowed upon him. For example, his most used talent is Shapeshifting. The possibility manipulate his Appearance or his voice to appear to his bidding. Bending the reality to his will and making people believe what he deems them to believe. He already stopped counting the amount of friendships he destroyed and hearts he broke. Because if the entire school judges and villainize you from the start, why not giving them what they ask for?

This pairs well with the fact that he is almost impossible to be spotted when standing in the shadows, engulfed in the darkness, Silvio is accustomed to live in. It is almost like he is invisible and decides himself who is allowed to see him and who is not. These two abilities of Laverna have been proven more than handy for tricking other students or teachers, countless of times. And the tendency is still rising

Alongside other minor traits and talents that may prove valuable for a trickster, Laverna granted an irresistible charm on the young student, making his already honeyed words, sound even smoother and trustworthier. This trait was one of the few things that lead Silvio to become one of the more infamous and generally mistrusted students.

Silvios deepest desire is love and acceptance but due to his parents betrayal and general lack of empathy, the jokester has no idea how to achieve this wish and uses his nefarious abilities to gain attention of people that he likes, often making his Chance of friendships even worse.

The pendant which was granted Silvio when he was sorted into the house of the ones chosen by the Matron of Thieves, takes the form of a rather big open lock in various silver tones and adorned with countless jewels across it. Silvio not only wears this sign around his neck, but also has it engraved on his belt buckle. As for his appearance, there always are a few violations of the dress code, that he has to talk his way out, but all in all, his uniform looks like everyone else's. 

While he still wears the long draped robes, he is supposed to wear while being in class, he somehow gets through with having the pieces of cloth magically coloured in a darker and more purplish burgundy than other students alongside with having long sleeves, covering the entire arm. But this is not the only difference to a uncustomized school uniform. Unusually for other students, Silvio's long and fine adorned robes don't end in fancy golden sandals with ornamented straps, the trickster is known for wearing more steadfast and secure brown leather boots around the courtyard. Seeing as he is almost allergic to sunlight, the teachers dont see s problem with that at all.

Thank you very much @kathrynalicemc for this amazing school and this even better challenge. It is my obligation to Tag @upset-hufflepuff because I know you will forget this otherwise. Anyways. Enjoy my Bastard boy, who will steal your kneecaps.

[hereliesbitches--me]

Full name:  Toruga ( Winchester ) Nicknamed:  The Good Doctor, Father, Doc, Purple Pimp

Gender: Male Species: Demon Age: Immortal, appears to be in his late 30s, early 40s Sexuality: If its a shade of royal purple, its within that field of interest. Otherwise, he couldnt care less Nationality: Travels about, German based design. Dude is a demon imitating human design City or town of birth: The Enigma , The realm of Neikan and the Emotions Currently lives: Moves where there is work, primarily between Europe and the United States, where is assets are located Languages spoken: English, Spanish, German, Russian, Korean, Japanese, variations of the chinese dialect (fluent in Mandarin) , Hindi -- basically a workable understanding of many mainstream languages of varying countries. He’s old, he’s been around, and he is able to retain and learn easily Native language: prefers English and German Accent/diction: Speaks with refined annunciation with his English, but in a more relaxed state he has a slight German accent. Relationship Status: A widower still obsessed with his monsters and his creator but she just wont see him in such a way rip the man

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Height: 6’6 Weight: 160 pounds in human form, his dark form varies in weight Figure/build: Tall, stocky built. His muscle is primarily in his arms, legs, and chest, with a faintly noticeable gut (lowkey dad bod) Hair color: Black, peppered with grey strands Hairstyle: keeps it medium length but professional, Eye color:  A deep orange Skin/fur colour: His skin is a sandy beige complexion littered by dark discolored scars. Having tiger features, he has inverted colors with black fur and white stripes. Tattoos: Neikan’s branding is on his left inner forearm. Tends to stroke it absentmindedly  Scars/distinguishing marks: Toruga is littered by minor discolored scars all over his arms and chest, but his iconic scar is the 3 clawed slashing going down his face. Preferred style of clothing: In a button up collared shirt and black dress pants, coupled with his lap coat, He never really goes anywhere without his labcoat. He has no real sense of.. Dressing casual. If not his lab coat, he still wears a kind of trenchcoat in some way. And suspenders for a touch of extra class

HEALTH

Bad Habits: -Cant form real human connection - sees everything as object variables to dissect ,explore, and use for experimentation. - Regularly abuses the fuck out of the other negatives because they are inferior idiots - Sociopathic murderer (“for Science”). -Obsessed with Neikan, the demon who created him, and will turn on anyone in her defense, friend or foe. -Views any personal connection to a person like having a pet you're fond for, but nothing is above Neikan. -Stress smoker.

Addictions: -Sexually infatuated by the color purple, - Takes Sadistic pleasure in watching the bold break down, - Gets off on taking control and causing pain in the act of intimacy.

PERSONALITY

Personality: Toruga is a deceptive man by nature, a demon conjured up and hand made by Neikan herself, inspired by Josef Mengele which she had seen in the lives of one of her vessels. Being based on the mad doctor, Toruga himself is brilliant in the fields of genetics, biology, and the anatomy of anything he can get his hands on. Despite the basis, Toruga is simply a being that never was a child, thus has formed a persona that imitates human emotion and relations to get his way. He doesn't feel true connection, he doesn't feel empathy, sympathy, or guilt for what he does, as long as it feeds into the goal of appeasing his mistress and furthering her goals. Which makes lying and altering his persona to the liking of his associates quite easy. Toruga presents himself like a fatherly figure -- even tempered, soft but confidently spoken, and constantly utilizing praise and interest in another when he’s looking to make nice. He’s a master of manipulation and will not hesitate to research a person’s history, or gauge a weakness from conversation alone, and exploit it if it makes them more agreeable or himself more appealing.   He doesnt respond to insults or physical attacks,  not a single thing in the world bothers him, save for the failure of the negatives to complete a task, or if the insult is directed at his mistress. Or if it is impeding his work, because that would make him unappealing to Neikan. Only then will he react. And he will do so swiftly and violently to make his point known. He is not afraid of death threats, or to be beaten or dismembered or tortured, because of his inability to die (Thanks to his connection to Neikan. For as long as she lives, he can) He finds those sorts of threats mildly amusing, because he has been here for centuries, and he will continue to be well after humanity is nothing more than bones and Ash beneath their feet. His personality can swivel on a dime, but overall he is a fairly pleasant person to interact and talk with. He;s had plenty of time to master human expression.  Toruga also tends to be very physical when he shows interest, with subtle touches, unbroken eye contact, and closeness. Its simply the spider tossing the silk of his webs to capture the poor fly that has no idea the fate to come. He can be incredibly jealous and spiteful when it comes to what diverts the attention of his mistress

Strengths: Determined, Even tempered, charming personality. Incredibly intelligent and gifted with holding conversations. A great asset if you need a doctor to work on any sort of viral or bacterial bioweapon, or if ya need a guy that likes to alter and play with mortal genetics. His inability to stay permanently dead makes him quite the threat in theory, and with that demonic origin he does have supernatural strength compared to the average mortal. He has no real blood, just inky mass of dark matter that makes up his form and drips in imitation blood.

Weaknesses: Neikan. Divine weaponry and magic also hurt like a bitch and would require he directly return to neikan to get fixed up.

Fears/phobias: Failing Neikan to the point she abandons him or makes another negative to replace him.

Favourite color:

P U R P L E 

Did I say purple?  Very important to know. And any shade that compliments it.

Hobbies: - Kidnapping subjects indiscriminately based on their viability and their chance of being pursued, disfiguring them, wiping their memory, and then using them as test subjects for his viral bioweapon projects. - Making handmade clothing for his test subject children. He’s quite the skilled tailor. He especially loves dressing up his daughter before she ran away - Traveling about to meet with and work closely with assorted allies towards an end goal of toppling human society and shifting power - Taking out his anger and frustration on the negatives because they dont die - Talking to his dead husband he keeps perfectly preserved in a case down in his lab

Theme Song: - “Pet” by perfect circle - “Trust me” from the Devil’s Carnival

SKILLS

Talents/skills: - Tailoring clothing of all materials - Extensive knowledge of the medical field - skilled virologist and biochemist - Manipulative - Skillful liar

Education: Multiple lifetimes of trial and error through multiple dimensions and a variety of different levels of technology he’s explored with. Lacking any formal training, being an extension of his mistress means he also inherits the knowledge of her vessels. Coupled with his own experimentation and studied through multiple worlds.

Abilities: Being a demon made of dark matter means he’s endowed with an assortment of natural abilities, however unlike the more well known hell spawn demons, the negatives and their abilities from Neikan are typically only physical based.  Those abilities include: - Enhanced Strength and Endurance (built up after years of handling monsters, and the lack of human limitations/strains on the body) - Complete Regeneration (as long as the weapon is not enchanted or by divine means) - Minor shapeshifting, limited to his true forms. From human, to the black mass in the shape of a man, to a beastial tiger form - A photographic and auditory memory that retains just about any information he finds worthy of withholding. It also allows him to learn any language with ease after being exposed to it for a period of time

FAMILY, FRIENDS AND FOES

Personal history: Created around the time period of Pride’s((The Vessel) lifetime, 6 vessels prior to Nikki, Toruga was formed at first out of curious reasons and the need for a friend, but her intent with him became malicious shortly after her grief in the following life which split her soul into two halves. Left with nothing but malice and hatred for humanity, with the worst aspect of her being, Neikan utilized all her negativity to create a figure that would help speed up the process of ending the lives of the future vessels. Toruga was based on Josef Mengele, which Neikan had been exposed to as a child through the eyes of her second vessel, Hate. The demon was never a child, born as a perfectly capable adult to keep this young grieving woman company, it was at the start of his existence which paved the way to his obsessive love for his Creator. Toruga was her friend, her pet project that she left responsible with overseeing any of her new creations were given a job and set in order. While not active at first, Toruga observed humanity from the distance and learned the art of imitating them perfectly to blend in and manipulate what he understood. He studied their texts, he studied their culture, the array of species, their anatomies, their science and their technologies, absorbed it all until he could put it to use at the very end. Toruga is in love with his mistress, but with her fixation on her vengeance and the delicate heartbreak, she refuses to see him in such a way. Which, in turns, drives his unyielding determination to please her to make her see him. Coming to the existence of the last vessel, Nikki, things got complicated. Neikan assigned him a task to make a malleable beast that can infiltrate, a living machine to be the wolf in sheep's clothing, so when the last life became known, this being would be sent to kill it. Unfortunately for them, that bio weapon became the last life. Once inheriting Neikan and all the previous lives, any of the previous wiring he had instilled in the fetus were completely wiped away with the new presence of thought and free will -- the result, which would send Toruga on a wild chase to retrieve his experiment , all the way back to Earth. He spends years having to establish bases and connections on earth, all while scouring for his little project, taking well over 10 years before finally finding her. When he eventually does kidnap her and attempt to reset her mentally, Nikki retaliates and flees, leaving him with the iconic face scar he has now, but his project was now an unstable mess.  

Toruga is a man who juggles many projects at once. Despite a singular failure, he is always looking to make improvements, which would have eventually led to the creation of Malakaid as a failsafe to getting rid of Nikki, then immediately lost after yet another raid by Rosie and the authorities. But there is no stopping, there is always alternatives to getting what he wants. His web is vast, his determination and will unyielding. The world will fall to his mistress, one way or another. As of now, Toruga works closely with a variety of associates, primarily the Branches of Virtues because of their plentiful assets, and acts as a kind of apostle for Neikan to gain more souls willing to join their cause. His main project is a viral mutagen called the Uxoru virus, and helping work towards a modified super soldier serum made from Angel’s blood.

Parents names: Neikan Shadou (Sheila Lunarcrest)

Siblings: The other negatives, including John, Sebura, Kura, and Joku. By technicality, anyone made by Neikan is a kind of sibling.

Relationship with siblings: Toruga is the head honcho of the show, responsible for directing and punishing the others for their failures. Their stupidity and clumsiness prove to be incredibly irritating to him, and because they cant die he has no hesitation in brutally maiming and abusing them for it. They all have a bitterness, but a respectful fear towards him, and he knows it well. None of them are his equal, for he was the first, and he intends to keep it that way.

Partner/Spouse: -Vermont (Former husband, now deceased. Murdered mistakenly by Toruga himself after Vermont questioned Neikan’s intentions and plans. )

Children:

- Nikki Ai (His first experiment, artificially created and planted within a mother. She has no recollection of him as her creator, but rather this monster that hunts her down. She never came back as she was suppose to, and thus is a nuisance he needs dead)

- Malakaid (The second improvement to Nikki’s design , made from Nikki and Jacob’s dna, spliced with his own. Malakaid was stolen as a baby by Rosie and imprinted on her. Because of this, he will not go back to Toruga.)

( From his relationship with Vermont)

- Veronica Winchester (Eldest daughter, ran away at 12 years old.)

- Toby Winchester ( A young boy, still living with him. He drags him around on his work trips when he’s able to. Because he witnessed his birth parent murdered as a toddler, Toby is practically a skittish mute of a boy that fears his father but will not dare leave the way his sister did.)

Enemies:

Basically got beef with everyone bcuz he probably fucked over your loved ones at some point and just doesn't recall it. He primarily has enemies with Rosie( A very personal vendetta) and the Angel Project, the Divine Calvary, and any enemies of the Branches of Virtues. He doesn’t try to make enemies but if people are gonna try to stop him from completing his work because its “unethical” and “Inhumane” then a bitch gonna go into the cage with the rest of the subjects. But he’s a hard man to hate because as long as you are blissfully ignorant, he seems like such a pleasant man to keep company with.

Associates:

- The Branches of Virtue

- Nathair Elerdand

- Neikan and the Negatives

Affiliated verse:

Tag: :The Good Doctor (Toruga):

- Iniquitous Essence (The info above)

- Pokeverse : Toruga is a scientist of the Aether foundation , working on a secret specialized project for Lusamine, to create a world where human and pokemon are one -- as halflings. He experiments using genetic information gathered from the ultra beast data, along with splicing human dna with that of Pokemon, varying from adults to unborn fetuses. Everyone of which failed (dying in a matter of months, if born. Dying and resulting in a stillbirth. Or death induced by the Human body rejecting the intrusive genetics and triggering a shut down response) until finally there was Rosie. He studied her for the entirety of her childhood, a secret success he dare not report until certain she would not die like the rest, only to be lost in a fire (as far as he knows) aimed at silencing her rowdy father.

Much to his dismay, Toruga continues his research on human genetics, milking the foundations of its assets to feed his curiosity, with no real loylty to anyone but himself. But those skulligans are a promising bunch of nobodies to utilize for testing. He’s on the hunt to get his pet project back

[seventhroses]

☁️ Dreams

👩🏻 A/N: It's here! This is my first story! I just wrote it as I needed an outlet to get my mind off reality. Probably gonna write again? Idk 🤔Anyway I'm excited to share this! Not sure if it’s good BUT I hope anyone that gives it a go would enjoys it! 🥰

🌠 Geners: Fantasy, fluff, slight smut

📃 Word count: 4.9K

Since young, you always have a thing for dreams. You were told many stories of different people's dreams and you've always finds it fascinating on what goes on in there when your body shuts to recharged.

There was one in particular that had it imprinted in you till now. It was your grandparent's dreams. You can't believe that they actually met in their dreams and how their love unfolds into reality.

How can anyone dreamed of someone else when they've never cross path or see each other before? You always questioned.

You could never figure out no matter how many times they tell you their tales. But even so, it was the sweetest love story that you've heard and of course, seeing it through parts of their times, you were partially convinced that maybe dreams do come true.

As you get older, instead of popping colours of life, nightmares get the best of you. You eventually start sleeping lesser and lesser hours. Dreams were no longer the happy fluffy thing you did look forward to every night.

Today was the worst. It was one of those days, where you felt like everything was collapsing on you. This week have been so exhausting and you probably had less than 10hours of sleep in total. Having to deal with your sickening boss that always throws you with piles of urgent paper work that you end up OT till 1-2AM to finish, colleagues that act as if they're the only one that have a life outside of work and dumped their unfinished work on you.

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worst, you sprained your ankle while chasing for your last bus home tonight.

"How great.." you sighed while limping up the bus with your now sore ankle.

"Well at least, I managed to catch the bus…" Trying hard to comfort your miserable self as you found a seat and sat down. 

You finally reached home after what seems like forever. Throwing your heels aside, you limped towards the kitchen to get some ice for your swollen ankle. Walking to the living room you plopped yourself onto the sofa, turning the TV on that you have no plans on watching. You find yourself staring into the ceiling, can't help but to question about your life.

Even though you're tired as hell, you can feel yourself fighting that tiredness, refusing to let another nightmare invade you tonight. But as the clock ticks away by the minutes, you know your fight is futile.

"If only.. I just wish for one good dream.. Just one, to end this miserable week" with that, you find your heavy lids closed as you fell asleep.

The next thing you know, upon opening your eye you saw the ray of morning sun shining into your room.

Checking the time on the clock, 

"It's 11AM?!" Now, widely awake. "Did I just sleep through the night?"

Not remembering when's the last time you slept through the night without waking up with cold sweat or hyperventilating from the nightmare you had. Though, you weren't complaining. You were in fact longing for a good sleep like this.

You got out of your bed, slipping into your bunny slippers, ready to kicked start your day. You just felt really good and recharged from the long sleep. After washing up and making yourself a cup of coffee, you walk to the sofa and sat down, finding a comfortable position to plan how you should go about your day before having your best friend over tonight for dinner and movie.

While you were making plans, a suddenly feeling strikes you. Something doesn't add up, but you can't seem to put it into words.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's 1PM. You're dressed in your ripped jeans and cute smiley sweater ready for some shopping therapy and groceries shopping for tonight's dinner. You grabbed a pair of your most comfortable heels and skipped out of your apartment. You were in a good mood, stress free and you know that's not normal but again you're not complaining. You're going to enjoy it while it last and so you thought.

As you were going down the long flight of stairs towards the bus stop, you were impressed at how you managed to go up these 'stairs of hell' with your swollen ankle last night. That's when you realised, they aren't painful anymore. You were pretty sure it was swollen before you fell asleep but they seem perfectly fine now. You also remember falling asleep on the sofa and not in the room.

So, how did I get to the room? When did I changed into the pj? Now, lots of thoughts are flying in and you couldn't much process or find an answer to them.  Are you that tired that you can't remember what you did?

 "Be careful!!" A loud voice snapped you back into reality and you can feel a strong hand holding on to your arm.

Facing the stairs down, you're pretty sure that you will get more than just swollen ankle if it's not for this person. You turned your head around wanting to thank your saviour but came to face with a white tee and strong veiny arms that is holding on to you. You tilted your head up trying to see who's this perfect fitting body belongs to and there, you saw a pair of small worrisome eyes looking at you.

 "Are you ok? Hurt anywhere?"  he asked worriedly.

At that moment, you couldn't seem to find a word as you were too focus on looking at this charming looking gentleman in front of you.

Let's be honest, ever since you start adulting, life has been a struggle of paying off bills and dealing with your work life. You hardly even have time for yourself, so let alone finding yourself a partner to add on the struggle with.

The only male presence in your life other than your dad, is your childhood best friend, Lee Minhyuk. Well, he's called your best friend for a reason. You have been in each other's life for more than a decade and you know each other all too well. Also, knowing that there will probably be no peaceful day ahead if you guys were to even try. You and Minhyuk can't even decide on a movie together for movie night without bricking for at least 30 minutes and ended up having to tossed a coin to decide. Which, you think it's probably going to happen tonight too. So, it has never really cross both of your mind about developing your relationship into anything else more than what you guys are.

You did met a few people, go for a few dates before but that was in collage when you had the privileged of time. All that just seems so long ago.

Right now, having come face to face with this charming guy, it is sure to activate your needs for a new male presence in your life. Not to mention, this gentlemen in front of you, his visual is… let's just say, he's totally your type. With your 'love struck' expression which you probably are showing now, he figured that you should be ok.

"Hi, I'm Hyunwoo." Waiting for your answer while holding on to you as you steady your feet. 

You noticed his expression changed to a shy and smiley eye, that would totally make anyone soft.

 "Hi" … "I'm y/n." Quite sure you sounded like a robot.

A red one to be exact because you can feel yourself blushing hard and the distant between the both of you and his perfume smell is not helping at all. You can hear him chuckled. His hand is still on your arms. His warm palm on your skin certainly have you feeling the butterfly flying wildly in your stomach.

 "Are you free for a coffee?" You blurted out of nowhere and a sudden realisation that you're thinking out loud, got you in panicked mode.

 "I mean… I mean you just saved me from the probability of cracking my head like an egg... so.. " pausing and cursing yourself for the lame joke. Now, you just want to dig a hole and hid.

He laughed. "I like that" not sure if he said that out of courtesy, just so your now red af face wouldn't burst. 

"and sure. I would love for a coffee with you, Y/n. "

You liked the way he calls your name. Like you never knew it could sound so sweet.

 After the awkward invitation, Hyunwoo slide his hand down from your arm. Holding on to your hand now, he casually walks down the stairs. Going one step ahead of you as he leads you down. He turned his head to looked at you and smiled,

"Now, you don't need to worry about getting your head cracked."

You're very sure at that moment, your face was in tomato red as Hyunwoo holds your hand and walk towards the nearby café.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you stay around here?" You asked as the both of you set down on the sofa seating in the café.

"Yes, I just moved here recently and was exploring the neighbourhood. You stay around the area?"

"Yup. Not far from the 'stairs of hell'." Almost rolling your eye.

Hyunwoo let out an airy laughed "I totally know what you mean."

Taking the first sipped of his drink, he started making some sound. "Mmmm! Mmm! This is so good!"

His reaction makes you adore him. How can someone be so charming, gentle and cute all at the same time.

"Oh, what did you ordered?" you asked out of curiosity.

"Honey grapefruit tea! It's on the drink's special menu. It's so refreshing!" You smiled at him as he sounded so proud of his order.

"Do you stay alone?"

 That question was definitely out of nowhere.

 There was a short pause as you were a little startled by the intruding question. Hyunwoo probably felt that he might have make you uncomfortable, so he explained.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. Since I moved here alone, I just thought it would be nice to know people in my neighbourhood. But its ok! You don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm sorry for the sudden question." Looking apologetic and not sure if he sounded weird.

But somehow his explanation makes you feel comfortable enough to tell him, so you looked at him,

"It's ok, dont be sorry. And yes, I kind of stays alone. But I have this best friend of mine, that would come crushing every so often to check if im still alive. So i'm not sure if that counts." Again, cursing yourself for the lame joke but it's kind of true too.

Well, atleast your reply showed Hyunwoo some relieved as you can see the smile back on his face.  

"It would be nice if we could have…"

 Before you manage to hear finished his sentence, the whole place start to shake violently. You could hear someone calling your name very loudly, somewhere but you couldn't find the source. Scared as hell, you closed your eyes shut.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 When you opened your eye, you were in a dazed. Minhyuk is now on the sofa beside you and shaking you violently. You frowned, now back to your sense. You were quite sure if he were to continue shaking, you would have thrown up on him that instant.

 "Babe! Back on earth?! You scare the hell out of me!" "What happen to you?!" "I came into the apartment and the first thing I saw is your dead body on the sofa!" "I mean lifeless. I mean.." As Minhyuk went on with his chains of words, you rolled your eyes at him. You can totally see that small smirked on his face.

 You had given Minhyuk the password to your apartment on day one when you move in, as he was whining non-stop about it until you gave him the digits. Since the both of you are having movie night every other Saturday, so you though it did be more convenient to do so too. But Minhyuk always says, it's for your safety so he can come by to check on you and see if you're still alive and kicking. You just want to rolled your eye, knowing all too well it's for his own convenience, as he always comes over for free meals, if not when he wants to escape from his mom's nagging. But even so, you never really mind it because he would keep you accompany whenever nightmares start taunting you.

 "What time is it now?" you asked.

 "It's almost 7PM, y/n! And you are supposed to start cooking dinner at 6:30PM!" He shouted across the kitchen while getting you a glass of water.

 You took the glass from him while trying to figure out what just happened.

 "Are you having nightmares again?" Minhyuk asked with concern on his face.

 "No, it's not a nightmare. In fact, it was a good dream." You paused.

"Well, at least it is until someone starts shaking me so violently, I thought there was an earthquake." You said to him with a somewhat annoyed tone now. He pouted.

You stood up wanting to get a quick shower because you're still in your yesterday's work clothes but your ankle give way. Now you remembered that you had sprained your ankle and it's still swollen. You realised what was not adding up. You were dreaming, that's why it wasn't hurting earlier.

And that guy in your dream, Hyunwoo.

Who is he? Have you seen him before?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It’s been a month since you dreamt of Hyunwoo and you were hoping to dream of him again but instead, the whole nightmare routine starts bugging you instead.

 Today, was no different as you find yourself fighting the tiredness to sleep. But after sometime, you finally can’t hold much longer and you fell asleep on the sofa. When you opened your eye and to your delight, you were at the same cafe, same sofa seat where you and Hyunwoo were at before.

 "Hey, your coffee." Looking up, you saw that smiley eyes that you were missing so much, right in front of you.

 "Hey.." You replied, fighting the urge to ask if he he's real. Afraid that it would break the spell to whatever is causing this dream.

 You decided to throw the thought to the back of your head, as you have been waiting for this to happen ever since that day, you tell yourself to enjoy it well it last. So, you turned your focus back on him.

 "How have you been?" You smiled while sipping on the coffee he got for you.

 "I'm good. And I've been thinking about talking to you again" That sudden confession caught you off guard.

 Has he been thinking about me? This is a dream, right? He's probably a reflection of what I've been wanting to hear from a guy.

Now you're very much convinced by yourself that all this are probably just in your head.

 The both of you talked for a while, enjoying each other's company. It felt nice talking to Hyunwoo and you were hoping to talk for a little longer but a loud ringing sound woke you up.

Lazy hand searching for the source of the dreadful sound, you grabbed the alarm and turn it off. Looking at the time, it's now 5AM and you know you are back at the harsh reality of work week. A sigh leaves you as you drag your heavy body out of bed.

 On the way to work, you can't help but be hopeful about dreaming of Hyunwoo again since the second time did happened.

 Indeed, you found yourself seeing Hyunwoo in your dreams for the third, fourth and fifth time in a spent of 2 months. It always happens at the same cafe. The both of you would be seating at the same sofa seat, drinking the same drinks. Even though, there's no knowing to when you will be dreaming of Hyunwoo but when you did, he never fails to makes you happy and recharged. You start seeing yourself looking forward to sleeping and dreaming again. Something that you use to love before adulting. Not to mention, nightmare have been less frequent and you were feeling better every day. It was a good sign for you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 And today you're dream again, the sixth time. But you found yourself at a different setting. It wasn't the usual cafe or the sofa seat that you always sat on. It was a place you are not familiar with. It was someone's home.

 It was Hyunwoo's home to be exact. You can see his family picture framed up sitting on the kitchen's table. He was smiling so brightly in the picture and you can see where he probably gets his youthfulness from. You smiled because in front of you, stands a familiar back hovering over the stove.

 "Your mum look so young and pretty." you said while admiring his back view.

 He turned around sounded in agreement. Now turning towards you, you can't help but to admire this perfect looking guy, in his home clothes and combing his hair back with his hand. He wearing a white tee that hug his body perfectly, showing his chest muscles curve and broad shoulder and a pair of shorts that shows his long legs. Unaware of yourself checking him out so openly, he chuckled

 "Enjoying your view huh?" he says jokingly as he turns back to cook.

 You cough trying to hid your blushing face, "Ahem, are you cooking ramen?" "The legendary 'Hyunwoo's ramen'?" You giggled as you teased him.

 "Yes, I promised its the real deal."

 "Are you sure is that good?"

 "Oh yes, it's that good that you would want for more." feeling challenged as he places the ramen in front of you.

"Go on, have a taste"

 He leans in on the table, moving into your personal space as you took your first bite. You're trying to ignore his extremely close presence, not sure if it's the ramen or Hyunwoo that's making you all hot now.

 "How is it? Good?" Staring at you earnestly, waiting for your feedback.

 How am I supposed to concentrate and eating with him being so close?

 In all honesty, he looks so yummy you just want to eat him instead. You can't help but blush so hard at your own desirable thoughts.

 "Are you ok?" Hyunwoo asked as his hands feels your burning cheeks and his face just inches away from you.

 Your face now so close to his. You looked at his so kissable lips and a sudden impulse urged you to slid forward and kiss him. You retreat back and shut your eyes, hoping to wakes up so you don't have to face the embarrassment from your action. But you didn't. Before you know it, you felt Hyunwoo lips clashing back on yours causing you to open your eye in a shock. That impulse and innocent kiss had turned into a heated open mouth kisses as Hyunwoo move his hand behind your head keep you closer. You felt yourself heated up from the action. You want more. He pulls away after a while, only to carry you up onto the table as he parted your legs to stand between you. He latched his lips back on yours and you swear you're feel all sorts of sensational feeling with what he was doing. Hyunwoo slowly moves his hand with lazy fingers gliding all over your body leaving hot trials and tingling feelings to where ever he passes. You can feel the shiver up your body and the tight knot somewhere inside of you wanting more of him.  

He pulls you closer to him while moving down to your neck, giving you soft open kisses. You can feel his growing bulge pressing on your centre as he grinds up against you, cause you to make soft seductive moans that you never thought you're capable of making.

 "Hyunwoo.." You murmur as you arched your back.

 He tilted his head up to look at you, so done for him just from the kisses. You can see his pupils blown; eyes filled with lust. He wants you. Before you can think of anything, you shudder as you felt the sudden contact of his palm cupping your heated clothed centre. You moaned and that encouraged him to move further. He slipped his hand through the side of your shorts and pushing your panties aside. You hissed at him when he parts your folds and starts making circle at your swollen nub. You can't remember the last time someone had taken care of you like that and saying you were a moaning mess is an understatement. You moved your hand wrapping around his now fully grown budge, wanting to help him relief from the strain in his shorts. You can hear his low moaned when you start pumping him. He sounded so attractive, yet so sweet. Soon after, both of you were helping each other to chased your much needed high.

 "Baby.." the sudden pet name got you closer to your high " I can't…" you curled your toe and shut your eyes, preparing for the rush that was going to come through.

 But talk about bad timing.

 As you opened your eye as you found yourself lying on your own bed. You rolled over, face pressed down and you screamed into your pillow venting out your frustration. You need to settle your sexual frustration. Reaching down to your panties which is now soak with aroused. 

You sighed. "I want him." 

You find yourself craving for Hyunwoo. While thinking of him, you settle your needs with the fate of your own fingers.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 2 weeks went by after that heated dream you had. The seventh didn't come.

  "Just go to that damn cafe! It won't hurt anyone…" Minhyuk retorted over at the other side of the phone. Clearly annoyed at you talking about the cafe for the nth number of times over the months.

 You had told Minhyuk about all your encounter with Hyunwoo in your dreams. Maybe not all, you did leave the sixth encounter out to save yourself some teasing that you would for sure get from him.

 "I dont know. I mean they're dreams. I shouldn't let it bothers me so much." turning and twisting your hair on your finger while you talked.

 You have been thinking of going to that cafe ever since the first dream but you couldn't find a reason to go. You make your own morning coffee so you won't willing to spend that extra money on coffee outside. Work also got the best of you, so you go only between your work place or home. Your life it's so exhausting, so during weekends you just wants to stay at home do your overdue laundry and spend the rest of the day sloth-ing.

 Today, Minhyuk finally convince you to get out of your den and you both were planning to meet for lunch.

 "How about you go there and get me a cup of coffee before we meet?" Minhyuk suggested. Clearly taking advantage of your dilemma but, it works. You were more convince to pop by the cafe for a reason.

"You're one smart ass." you can hear his sinister laugh, knowing that he succeeded in getting himself a free coffee.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Hi, welcome!" The girl behind the cashier smile as you walk through the door. In reality, you have never noticed this cafe before, so let alone visit it, but it felt familiar. The interior and the seating were the same as what you could remember from your dreams. You look at the menu board for a while, even though you know you would probably get an ice coffee to satisfy your caffeine needs as you didn't have one in the morning. But you saw 'Honey grapefruit tea" on the drink’s special menu and without much thinking you ordered it along with Minhyuk's ice coffee. You set down at the same sofa seat that you and Hyunwoo had sat on in the dream, while waiting for your orders.

Your phone vibrates.

TheannoyingBFF: Hey babe! Please dont kill me!

TheannoyingBFF: Hyungwon car broke down and he needs me to find him

You: ...

TheannoyingBFF: I'll buy you dinner tomorrow

TheannoyingBFF: I PROMISE!

You: You better!

You: Be glad that I'm still at the cafe and not on my way

TheannoyingBFF: I'm sorry and I love you!

You: I would've killed you

You: along with hyungwon

TheannoyingBFF: Hope you will bump into him, so my sin can be off set *Praying emoji*

You: ...

You: Bye

 You grabbed your drinks when your order tag buzz and went back to the sofa seat. Having your plans cancelled and with no back up, you decided to stay in the cafe for a while. This cafe makes you smile. You were happy when you're there, so it naturally makes you feel good.

 You took a sip of the new drink and with an impressed look, you mumble to yourself “Waoh, it's indeed nice and refreshing."  Continue drinking, you stare at Minhyuk's ice coffee that is place in front of the empty seat, you thought to yourself how lonely this makes you look. Like you've been bumped or something and this makes you feel like cursing at Lee Minhyuk.

 'Ting Ting' the doorbell of the cafe rang. You didnt react to it as it has been sounding out quite a few times. While you continue to scroll through your feed, a familiar voice started talking.

 "Hi, is this seat taken?" Looking at you and gesturing at the empty seat in front of you.

 You looked up, couldn't believe by the person standing in front of you. You start looking around and find the cafe seat all packed, so you turned back to him "Erm.. No" while you kind of avoid looking at him as you try to calm your nerves and trying hard not to show that "love struck" expression.

 He smiled and thank you as he set down. You moved the cup of now showing two layered coffee away, so he can have his space.

After a minute or so, his order tag buzzed and he stood up to get his drink. Your eye followed him as he went over to the counter. When he got his drink, you notice the table at the far end were about to leave and you can feel a slight disappointment in you, thinking that he would move to that available seats. 

But to your surprise, you see him walking back towards you.

 "If you don't mind, I did love to seat here. Is that ok?" His requested makes you smile.

 "I don't mind. Please seat."

 Both of you were quiet for a while, looking at your individual phones when you decided to break the silence.

 "Do you stay around here?"

A sudden Goosebumps came to you as you asked the same question, at the same place, same spot.

 He looked at you and with a soft smile, not questioning or looking at you weirdly.

 "Yes, I just.."

before he finished his sentence, you were mumbling under your breathe, like you already know what he would probably say.

"..moved here recently and was exploring the neighbourhood."

 He now looked at you with wide eyes but somehow it doesn't look like he was spooked by you but rather a sense of realisation. Like you know his secret.

He grabbed your hand and rushed out of the cafe, bring you to the 'stairs of hell'. That very spot when he first met you.

 "Do you know this spot?" trying to search for an answer from you.

 "Yes" is all you say, as you're trying to process the situation here.

 He grins, showing his teeth and his eyes turned into a smiley eye that were so familiar with.

 "This is real right?" you couldn't help but asked.

Because at this moment, you were just confused and happy all at the same time. Hoping that this could be real and not wakes up to nothingness again.

 "It is." "Let's do this all over again." Not sure what he means by his words, you waited.

"Hi, I'm Hyunwoo. Nice to finally meet you." he stretched out his hand wanting for a handshake.

 You couldn't help but to smile and hug him instead. The guy that you have been thinking of, debating if he is real or just fantasy, is right in front of you.

 "Hi.. I'm y/n" you murmur as you can feel the tears that trapped in your eyes threatening to fall out.

 He hugs you back and you could hear him say "Thank you for finally going to that cafe."

You look up at him "Did you go to that cafe frequently, hoping that you could meet me?" You're certain your face is now showing that 'love stuck' expression as you ask that question.

 "Yes" is all he said as he held your arms and gave you a kiss on your forehead. 

That moment, knew you're the one that needs to buy Minhyuk a meal and you can't love him enough for giving you the reason to go to the cafe.

 "Shall we continue where we left off?" He whispered softly into your ears and turns to look at you with a goofy smile. 

You can feel your face burning as he reached down to kissed you on your lips.

 Having to experience ‘real dream’ yourself, you now truly believed your grandparents dreams and that some dreams really do come true.

[babykyunbun]

Behind closed doors||Wong Yukhei+Dong Sicheng

🌜pairing🌛: Wong Yukhei+Dong Sicheng and f-reader.

🌜summery🌛: horror au!, ghost au!,house share,LOtS of angst, fluff, smut, please, please don’t read if you are easily tiggered, held hostage, murder, abuse, making someone believe they are ill,in the end it basically all goes down hill. I love horror and I just had tooooo yikes.

these will be short chapters in a quite long series, I’ll see where it takes me. I’ve had this idea for a very, very long time and I’ve thought about it and planned it. So I really hope you like it:))

Also let’s say they both speak fluent English okay hehe

BUT PLEASE DONT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED AND I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THIS IS HOW LUCAS OR WINWIN ACT, ITS FICTION.

I will put warnings in the chapters which will be triggering, the first few chapters will have nothing triggering at all so you can read if you want:)

||CHAPTER 1||~

~~~_~~~~

A new country, a new neighbourhood,new people, a new life. It all excited you, but you also feared it. You were all by yourself, you left your family behind, your friends, everyone you cared about because you wanted a change. I guess you could call it selfish, leaving everyone behind just because you wasn’t satisfied with how you lived. But there was no turning back now, you needed this, you wanted this.

You sat in your car, drumming your fingers against the wheel as you stared at the house infront of you. The white walls cracked and chipped, the bricks peeking through the paint. You kept rehearsing your lines, still not familiar on the Chinese language but you were getting there slowly.

“Maybe, hopefully they speak little English. Please god I beg you, I cannot handl-” your words were cut off as a shriek left your lips, your hands clutching tightly at the wheel as you feel your heart racing. You quickly swung your head to look out of your window, trying to find the source that made the loud tapping.

There stood two tall, thin boys. One taller than the other. large smiles gracing both of their faces, it made you feel calm, your heart beat suddenly slowing down. You quickly pressed the button to roll down the window, quickly the cold air hitting your bare skin making a shiver roll up your spine.

“Y/n? It’s nice to meet you finally, you should come in and get out of the cold. You look freezing sweetie.We will discuss everything as soon as we get in” one of the boys who you presumed to be lucas said with a sweet nod, opening your car door. You were surprised to hear him speak English, very good English, maybe even better than yours. You let out a giggle as you slowly pushed yourself from out of your car, grabbing his hand.

“Yeah I’m y/n, nice to meet you both. I’m very thankful that you rented me a room, I know it must be scary letting a complete stranger into your home” you say with a chuckle, pulling your jacket around you tighter as you walked closer to the door with them. Small flowers and weeds grew around the steps, a lamp that hanged from the wall lit up the dark driveway.

“Don’t worry about it sweetheart,we like helping. Don’t we Sicheng?” So that’s Sicheng, the shorter boy with the cute smile. You giggled at his short but rushed “yes”. You stared at him , watching the way he nervously looked around, his hair bouncing with every step. After a second He looked across straight at you, catching your eyes, a small smirk forming on his lips. You felt your whole soul leave you, literally.

Lucas caught onto both of you, letting out a small cough before opening the door. As soon as it opened you felt the heat of the house hit you, a satisfied feeling washing over you. The smell of mint filled the air as you step in out of the cold, it smelt like home in a weird way. The walls painted a calming cream colour, lamp light filled the room making it lighter but not too light. It felt comforting, the whole aroma of the house.

“This is nice wow, It feels just like home” you say, sitting on one of the couches, feeling your body sink into the cushions. You close your eyes, letting your head rest back. You hear a clink, like glass meeting glass, you glance up. Noticing Lucas place a cup into the table in front of you.

“Here’s some tea, cherry by the way, I understands flights drain you and make you feel ewie. If you get what I mean but anyway this might refresh you” he giggles, sitting down next to you as he sips his. You nod you head, sending him a smile before whispering “thank you”.

You pick the dainty cup up, taking a sip of the reddish liquid. A hum leaving you as you took a bigger sip. “So I guess you like it” you hear Sicheng say, knowing it definitely wasn’t lucas’ voice. You quickly take another sip, before placing it back down onto the table. You nod before lying back against the couch, a smile on your face.

“Why don’t you have a sleep, I can see you’re really tired sweetheart. If you don’t mind I will get your luggage out of your car and put in into your room. I’ll order something for dinner and wake you up when it’s here. Then we will explain everything and we will show you around” lucas says before tapping your knee and getting up, grabbing you a blanket from the other chair.

“I would like that, thank you. Yeah that’s absolutely fine, but you don’t have to I can do it” you go to stand up but he politely pushes you back down, sending you a smile which made you heart do a flip again. You sit back, pulling the blanket over you, letting yourself fall into the comfort. You hear your keys jingle, you move your hand up your pocket but feel nothing, you remember putting your car keys in your pocket before locking up.

“I have them don’t worry” Sicheng says jingling your keys again, you feel relief wash over you but also confusion. You shake the thoughts out of your head, closing your eyes again, feeling tiredness fill your body. You hear them share words before the front door opens then closes.

The last thing you hear are faint whispers,different voices, some louder then others, some deeper than others,before you succumbed to sleep. The one that stood out to you was the voice of a girl, her single word running through your sleep deprived Brain.

“Escape”

[thequeenb]

Until we meet again

Pairings: KamilahxMC

All the battle faded away when Amy's eyes fell upon Rheya making her way to Kamilah. Her breath stopped and so did the time. Blood was being spilled, vamprires were screaming in pain. Bones were cracking, skulls were violently crushing as ashes filled the heavy air.

Amy locked eyes with Kamilah who was so determinated, it was written all over her eyes. Without hesitation Amy was by her side, her presence making her more safe even if chaos evolved around them.

Kamilah's eyes were fixed on Rheya who just smiled devilishly. Her body was covered in ashes and blood the smell to strong not to be disgusted by. Amy was wounded, Jax was slicing Feral's heads, Adrian was leading and encouraging people to continue as Lily shot bolts through the air to Rheya's followers.

But Kamilah was there, next to her. She promised they were in this together and she kept that promise. Amy was no fool she knew someone had to be sacrificed to win a Queen and she was more than ready to do it twice.

"So pathetic, you two could have been so much more" Rheya's tone was echoing through her head, watching the bloody steak on her hand.

"I would rather die that be on the Evil side once more" Kamilah took a courageous step forward.

"You are no different than Gaius, you spread terror and pain to so many people and you enjoy it, you are amused" her stare was so sharp that it could cut the whole earth open.

An evil laugh was all Amy could hear, her eyes were carefully eyeing every move Rheya made.

"Dont act like you didn't enjoy it once upon a time" she moved the stake near her heart, Amy flinched

"No!!" she screamed pulling Kamilah's sleeve "Kamilah we can defeat her if we all--"

But she didn't move, instead she closed her eyes whispering a prayer in her native language

"I would be a fool wasting 2000 years of experience in an instant" Rheya relaxed her arm "be my right hand, and you shall live"

Amy now heard a sweet laugh, the one she heard for the past year, Kamilah's.

"I would rather die" she spat out coldly

Amy swallowed hard not understanding the purpose of this but before she could even think Rheya pushed the stake deep into Kamilah's flesh but she wasn't in pain no, she was smiling.

Everything was spinning, there were no words to put into the fact she was fatally staked. She was so focused on Kamilah that she didn't notice Adrian was behind Rheya stabbing her to death.

A scream filled the empty destroyed streets of New York as ashes flew around the air. Nothing mattered that moment only Kamilah in Amy's arms slowly dying.

"I promised that we were..that..we were..in this.. together.." she said slowly stroking Amy's cheek that was now filled with tears

"No..no dont go..we have so much more to explore..dont you dare leave me" Amy reached a shaky hand drawing Kamilah in watching her wound not healing

"I would die for you a million times"

Amy tried to breathe watching how Kamilah's eyes were slowly losing their brightness. She wanted to speak, say anything, do something but it was all to much, to sudden.

She watched as 2000 years of memories, experiences, love and pain pouring out of her body but she smiled a single tear running down her cheek

"I..i..i love you Kamilah..more than anything.." Amy said as her voice broke

"I..love..you..too" Kamilah tried to speak but she ended up coughing and wincing in pain

"Until we meet..again.." those were her final words before her body turned into ashes.

Amy was on her knees watching her lover's ashes spray around her palms, her neckless the only legacy that was left behind by her.

It took a moment. A moment to let it sink in that the woman she loves isn't here anymore, a moment to realize she will never see her caramel eyes again. A moment to accept that she wont be able to kiss her, hug her. She had been taken away from her.

A loud scream filled the air, she screamed until she felt she will suffocate. It didn't matter anymore, nothing did. She kept sobbing until her lungs gave up and she fell to the ground hugging what was left of Kamilah on her palm.

Lily was the first to approach touching her shoulder. For the first time she looked up, noticing everyone stopped fighting, that they broke free from that evil spell, that Rheya was truly dead.

Adrian gasped watching his sister ashes blow away by the wind.

"No..no..NO!!" Amy reached to catch them but it was to late.

Jax held her arms gently "Amy.."

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath as the sky colours were changing.

"We should go" Jax pointed at the sky

Lily nodded unable to speak as Adrian just headed their way. But Amy was still there, on her knees sobbing uncontrollably gripping at the neckless until her fingertips turned white from pressure.

"Amy? Are you coming? Can you walk?" Adrian asked extending his hand for her to stand up but she didn't want to.

"Amy no" he said trying to pull her on her feet but it was hard since she was to stubborn in her nature.

"Girl please come with us" Lily approached carefully trying to put sense into her messy thoughts.

"She wouldn't want this." Jax finally said as Amy stared at him. Her eyes lost every little hope she had. Even though they were a bright colour they painted a dark expression in them. She lost everything she ever had.

"I..need a moment alone and i will join you" she said forcing herself to speak.

Everyone took note and left wisely, leaving her behind with her tears.

"Why did you have to play it the hero Kamilah?" she asked looking at the sky knowing she was somewhere between those pretty colours that started showing.

"I never imagine i could lose you, you were always so strong, so powerful.." her tone was regretful, she regrets every moment she didn't cherish because she thought they had enough time.

"I thought now that i became a vamprire we..we would be together for eternity" a deep sign escaped her lips as tears threatened again to fall. She covered her mouth with her hand trying to not let out the painful sobs and screams she was holding.

"We are in this together" she whispered as she felt the sun on her skin. It burned, but she found comfort.

She looked around, taking in the light she missed for the last time. Closing her eyes she expected for everything to just stop, but instead she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Opening them she saw Kamilah, wearing a white suit extending her hand. She smiled and it made Amy think she was dreaming.

Taking her hand she let the electricity run down her spine as she closed her eyes.

"I wouldn't try her if i were you Lester, she seems business" Kamilah said amusingly.

"Who cares about a mewling mortal!!" Her voice was sharp, her eyes were red and threatening.

"Now i care little what happens to you, but if Adrian is in any trouble because of you, i wont hesitate to kill you myself" her stare was intense, her words so cruel full of hatred.

"You are beautiful arent you?" Kamilah said smiling, eyeing Amy's body

"I didn't want anything in a long time, but i want you" a surprised gasped escaped her lips knowing she broke one layer off her icy walls.

"I refuse do die knowing i have more of this to come" she leaned in touching Amy's lips sweetly

"I care for you Amy, very much so" she said looking lovingly into her eyes waiting eagerly for a response.

"When this is done, i am ready to be yours" Kamilah said kissing Amy sweetly under the night sky

"I am her Queen and she is mine" Kamilah said with a sweet tone to Gaius ready to die for Amy and her safety

"This wasn't enough, we didn't had enough time" she said watching Amy's fatal wound, tears running down her cheeks

"And i lo--" Amy couldn't hear anything anymore, just pinch blackness

"You..you are alive" Kamilah said shocked, a smile forming across her lips

"I thought i lost you Amy, i really thought i had" Kamilah said stroking her cheek enjoying the warmth she thought she had lost

"So long since i had felt loss, so long since i have cried" Kamilah looked at the floor unable to meet Amy's surprised eyes

"We are in this together i promise" she said taking Amy's hand in hers kissing her forehead softly

"I would die for you a million times" she said breathlessly trying to take in Amy's before she was gone.

"I..love..you.." she whispered before she close her eyes, her hand holding Amy's tightly before letting go.

All the memories past through her mind so fast she couldn't wrap her head around it, Kamilah's touch could be lightly felt on her body as her sweet voice was like an angel singing.

Opening her eyes she realized she was joining Kamilah so she smiled, letting the sun take her away. Before she could turn into ashes she whispered softly i am coming Kamilah.

Tag list: @mrskamilxh @wildsayeed @la-guera-69 @thepotatobleh @scarlet-letter-a0114 @sayeedbound @ilovetaylor13m @sleeping-with-her06 @blackphenix9527 @lightning-fury @amorettemcsky

[lamp-up-my-ass]

You wanna know what I want?

I am a lover of all things angst, and this includes toxic relationships, and sanders sides fanfic has not failed me with this. Theres the steadily growing amount of unsympathetic patton relationships gowing around, and a hanfull of unsympathitic roman fics ive seen. But the most ive seen is with deceit and remus being the abusers. I get it, its easy to put them in this role sense theyve been labeled the dark sides, but youre missing so much angst potential! So ive compiled some fic ideas revolving around these two characters.

Warnings:teen/adult, physical abuse, mental abuse, injury mention, smothering behavior, self harm, emotional abuse, blood, crying, breakdowns, isolating behavior, and unsympathetic patton and virgil.

Mociet with unsympathitic Patton

This can work in so many gut wrenching ways. Patton is so offten seen as the Dad friend, so maybe a fic where is older and Deceit younger? Imagine a 23 year old Patton, known for being nicest guy in the town, meeting 16 year old Deceit who, despite his punk style, is relatively sheltered and innocent. Patton prays on this innocence, but is put off by Deceits style, so he sets out to change him. All Pattonhas to do is treat Deceit to some tasty foods and kind words, and the teen cant stop thinking of him. Patton makes the first move and kisses Dee with no warning, before pressuring and convincing Dee into a relationship. They keep it secret, and for a while it's good. Until its not.

Patton starts to "accidentally" lose the clothes Dee would leave at his apartment, in exchange smothering him in gifts. Gifts of scratchy yellow sweaters and too tight pastel converse and other things that aren't his style. At first Patton acts normal when Dee doesn't wear these things, and its fine. Until one day Dee cant find his normal leather jacet on a cold day and opts to wear the sweater. He visits his boyfriend after school, and Patton instantly starts to cover Dee in praise when he sees him, calling him adorable and his little sunflower. They even have a heavy makeout session that abrudtly ends when Pat sees the black band T underneath the sweater. But its fine, Dee tells himself, probably nothing.

From then on, Deceit starts to notice how Patton becomes more distant, only ever gifting him cutesy clothes. All he wants is the attention he got that one day. So he starts to wear the clothes. Even when the sweater on his skin itches or the converse leaves small blisters or the bright colours leave him feeling uncomfortable. Its a small price to pay for the adoring look patton gives him.

Then, one day Deceit decides to wear his leather fingerless gloves on his date with Patt. When Patt answers the apartment door, he instanly frowns at the gloves. The dinner they have is stiff and quiet, patton not even glancing at the teen. When dinner is over and Dee is about to leave, Patt stops him. He asks why hes wearing those gloves, and starts to insult Dee. The teen tries to counter argue him, but Patts shouting and its scaring him. He never shouts.

Dee backs a few steps away, attempting to put space between him and his lover, but he bumps into one of Pattons flower vases and it shatters. Patton becomes more angry, screaming and stomping towards the boy. He grabs Dee and rips the gloves off. Dee panics and pushes himself away, but thats puts him off his balance. He falls backwards, onto the glass. The shards push into his hands and hes bleeding. Dee becomes upset, but before he can shout at Patt, his boyfriends there.

He has tears in his eyes and is apologising, pulling the teen into a tight hug. He keeps saying sorry and that he didnt mean too. He picks the boy up and puts him on the couch, smothering him in compliments. When patt "calms down" he attempts to lighten the mood. He says " next time dont be so clumsy." Dee ends up staying the night, missing school the next day. This is the last time he wears something like that.

When hes home, he gets a package from Patton. The note says " so that your not sutch a clutz next time :D." Inside theres a pair of pure white gloves, with little embroidered sunflowers.

Anxceit with Unsympathitic Virgil

This idea was easy to come up with. Virgil is the embodiment of anxiety and theres alot of things that can make you anxious in relationships.

They met at a concert. Deceit say the shorter man and his rainbow pin amd decided to give it a shot. He flirted with the little emo, cautious on if he was uncomfortable. They hit it off and went to a starbucks after the concert to get to know each other.

They kept in touch and continued to grow closer. Suprisingly, it was Virgil who asked him out. Their relationship was perfect. They ended up dating for 1 and a half years before they decided it was time to move in together.

Deceit noticed the change immediately. Whenever he would be on his phone, Virgil would go quiet. Whenever Dee came home from something or another, Virgil would launch himself at the taller individual. At first Dee thought nothing of this, thinking it was cute even. Until it was not.

Deceit had went out and visited some friends, talking and joking around with each other. Dee felt the constant buzzing of his phone in his pocket, but ignored it to speak to his friends. When he finally arrived home, he foumd out his mistake. Virgil stood in the living room, head bowed, and asked where dee was. Deciet responded quietly, concerned for his partner. Verge looked up and asked "why didnt you respond to my messages?!" Dee was taken aback, confused by Virgils behavior. Virgil saw this and started shouting at him. Right when Dee was about to respond, Virgil started to break down into sobs. Deciet ran over to him and tried to calm him down, but the other wouldnt stop repeating " dont leave me." When finally calm, virge looked up at Deceit and asked " can you please just tell me when you go somewhere?" Deceit agreed.

Things like this kept progressing, Virgil crying and breaking down any time Deceit doesn't tell him when he leaves the house. He starts to even get upset anytime Dee dosent text 5 minutes after he texts him, saying how hes scared that Dees leaving. Deceit feels bad for his partner, so he stops leaving the house for anything thats not work or food. Virgil is very happy about this. But only for a bit.

Since Deceit starts to be at home more, he keeps up with his freinds through text. He doesnt tell the why he stopped hanging out with them, ignoring the question anytime its asked. Virgil notices Dee being on his phone so often, and becomes jealous. One day, he sees Dee laughing at something on his phone, and jumps to conclusions. Virgil stomps over to Deceit and yanks the phone from his hands. He starts to shout, accusing him of cheating and lieing. Once agian, right before Dee is about to respond, Virgil cries. Once again he says hes scared and doesnt want him to leave. Deceit comforts Virgil, and Verge asks him something. "Can you just let me look at your phone when i get scared? Please?" Deceit agrees.

And once again, its all fine. They fall into a routine. Dee goea to work, calls Verge on his lunch brake, comes straight home, talk to Virgil, help make dinner, eat, have Virge check his phone, watch tv, and go to bed. It was simple. But Deceit was lonely. He missed his friends, missed seeing them and knowing whats going on in there life. So one day, Dee goes into his room and voice chats his friends.

Virgil enters and Dee stops the call. Virgil is mad. Hes shouting at Deciet and accusing him cheating once again. When hes done shouting, he glares at Dee and demands to see his phone. Deceit says no. This is the wrong answer.

Virgils eyes go wide, before turning around and marching out the room, slamming the door behind him. Deceit doesnt make a move until he hears Verge open a kitchen drawer. Deceit races out the bedroom to see Virgil cutting his arms with a knife. Dee grabs him and triea to get him to stop, only for Virgil to drop the knife and fall to the ground. Hes sobbing, saying that he has nothing to live for without Deceit. Deceit tries to calm him and carefully cares for his wounds, virgil still in tears.

Deceit doesnt contact his friends for a long time after that.

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Hi! So these were just two of many ideas ive been having, and i hope you enjoyed! I plan to make a part 2 to this with lociet, roceit, and intruciet. If thats something youre intrested in, give me some feed back! Im ooen to any constructive criticism, and please tell me if i left any trigger warnings un named. Also, remember i have nothing against Patton and Virge, i actually enjoy them quiet a bit, so dont think I hate them or something! I just wanted to write something small including things like different types of abuse and character takes, im not saying that these characters are truly like this. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!!