#i dont blame anyone for following or reblogging them

[scarletsaphire]

I DO NOT TAG THINGS!

Since I’ve been writing more frequently, I’ve gotten a lot more followers and more people just reading my stuff, which is super cool! I’m happy that yall are enjoying the things I make. But with the influx I wanted to make something very clear.

THE ONLY THINGS I TAG ARE MY WRITING. EVERYTHING I REBLOG IS UNTAGGED.

If you follow me for a little while you will notice I reblog a lot, and its pretty much everything, completely unfiltered. So. If you are someone who is triggered by something, who gets easily disturbed or sqicked, or who just doesn’t want that on their dash. do not follow me. This isn’t any kind of judgement on you; for your own safety, you should not follow.

If you would still like to read the things I’ve written (And I would very much like you to!! I want people to be able to read my stuff, community is a huge part pf why I write.) you can find me on ao3 at scarletsaphire. All of my stuff is posted there, including ask games or requested prompts (which I am always accepting.)

Once again, this is in no way a DNI or a judgement. The way I use tumblr is just to reblog wildly and tag sparingly, and that can be harmful to some people. I want to be as upfront about that as possible, especially as more and more people are seeing my blog.

[olderthannetfic]

I agree that DNIs are best used as a boundary warning / "excuse" to block (not that you need an excuse to block someone, but you know).

Are minors physically capable of pressing a "follow" or "reblog" or "like" button on an account with "🔞 NSFW so minors DNI" in bio? Are antis capable of following someone with "antis not welcome i hate you" in bio? Yes they are, in the same way anyone is physically capable of touching the "do not touch" display in a museum or anyone is physically capable of cheating in a class with a zero tolerance for cheating warning on the syllabus. But once you do it, you have a "reason" to get expelled from the situation now. (yes i know none of these things are on the same level lmao dont worry)

Even then, the group being asked to "not interact" will likely have a miserable experience on the account if they DO interact, so what even is the point? if a terf follows someone who says terfs don't follow, the terf has no right to be shocked when the person starts posting pro-trans stuff. . .if someone hates otherkin and follows someone with an "anti-kins don't interact", and gets upset when that person posts about their kintypes, they only have themselves to blame. . .it almost has troll energy when you get to a certain point? A common thing I see in younger groups on fan twitter (not using younger as an insult nor even as anything to mean "ha cringe teenagers", it's just a genuine observation that this is most common in ~-25 people) is "DNI if you hate my fave (characters/shows/ships/etc)s." If I follow you despite hating your fave shows because I like another fandom you're in, I don't exactly have the right to get annoyed when you post about them. What I do have the right to do is mute the words or unfollow, or realize, "hmm, yeah, maybe that silly DNI i rolled my eyes at initially is there for my own benefit as well as OP's."

I think the only time DNI is a sorta weird thing to expect to be obeyed, is when your post "breaches containment" so to speak. "If you're anti self diagnose, don't follow my mental health blog"? Valid. "Anti self diagnose, don't interact" banner on your posts you post to that blog? A little bit cringe, but overall can still be an out for "I'll block you if I notice you're reblogging my posts and you hold this opinion." "Anti self dx don't follow" warning that's deep in your carrd, that is deep in your links page, that is deep in your blog's pinned profile? Yeah, I'm not gonna check for that just in order to reblog your funny mental health meme that you made. (I'm now realizing this is a bad metaphor as I'm not actually anti self diagnoses so I'd be able to interact with this guy i just made up, but whatever.)

--

I would like people to phrase them as "I will block if" and not "DNI".

[wimpout]

Hey, I'm Elijah. Please just call me Eli, I don't have nothing against the full name but Eli is just better looking. I go by they/them. Don't try and assume my AGAB, you'll be exploded by my mind.

I had an account before this, but I couldn't log back in.

I believe I have the most normal and non-biased takes so if you even care you should check it out. I might see you around.

Here's my old school ID, or something. Ignore the char.

And, er. I have amnesia and some prior memory loss problems. Please, just ignore if I don't remember you at all or even clearly. I'm trying my best, alright?

last update 8/9 23:22

please read all they way below to find the 'tutorial' for this blog

hello! welcome to the ooc section of this blog... please, read it through before interacting! don't worry, as much text as there is, there are brief summaries.

about the mun/mod!

my name is adon! of course, you could refer to me as adonciant or guy either. i dont mind! i go by he/him only, but if you want to use any neopronouns, feel free. i am a minor! my main is @adonciant, which is where likes and follows will come from. of course, all my rp blogs are also listed in my pinned on main!

when a post is signed off with ~🎱, that means its me speaking. it will always be paired with ooc post

─ⵌ call me adon, he/him! main is @adonciant! ~🎱 is muns signoff

interaction!

pelipper mail/unmail/malice: allowed!

musharna mail/malice: allowed!

mystery gifts: allowed!

magic anon: allowed!

in-character anon hate: allowed!

ooc/questions: allowed!

anyone is allowed to interact with my blogs! fallers, eeby deebys, hybrids, sapients, self-inserts, ocs, and in-game characters are all very welcomed!

if you ever want to start a roleplay, it's best to discuss it with me first within the blogs dms, unless i already allowed an offscreen post.

note: if i dont get around to an ask, never take it personally! i will always read any asks i get, but i just may not respond if i dont find it necessary.

─ⵌ all interaction from all blogs are allowed, but discuss offscreen roleplays with me beforehand. i may not be able to get around to your ask, but don't take it personally!

boundaries/notices

─the mod is a minor, and the character is 17! slightly suggestive asks are fine, but never should it come close to nsfw.

─if you ever want to establish a connection between our characters, or want to plan events with yours involved, im always open for it! just dm me on either discord [username is adonciant] or on tumblr itself. i will be more than willing to hear your ideas and see what we can do!

─often times, i will do long threads of interaction. i like to reblog back and interact, but if you ever want me to stop without a sign in the roleplay itself for it to end, please tell me! alongside this, my threads do not get tagged with anything.

─there are not many content warnings to this blog. to roughly list, it's only angsty family stuff. however, anything else may be unsuspected and is up to the anons. this list is always subject to change, so stay aware. any triggering topics are tagged with associated tags ('topic' tw)

─ⵌ slighty suggestive asks are allowed, but nsfw is never allowed, always try to contact me if you want to establish connections or events, and heed the warnings! [you will need to read over the warnings.]

extra notes

heres the good part; how does this work???

in case you didnt see on orions blog, eli is a character who is collectively expanded upon by YOU!! the community of rotomblr!

everyone and anyone who has a rotomblr blog is allowed to contribute to eli.

logistically, if you wonder how it works with the fact these anons would seem to know an abnormal amount of information of eli, blame it on their old account they couldnt log into ^_^

how do you contribute, you ask?

simple! my asks are open. go ahead, ask them how their life is in galar. they'll respond as if their life is in galar. well, someone else already asked if they lived in unova? they live in unova! ask how their whimsicott is doing, because now they do indeed have a whimsicott! ask how their moms funeral was! because, uh oh, now they have no mom :(

but its important that you dont overlook the existing information other people/anons have already asked about. if they really do live in unova, you cant go out of your way to try and forcefully retcon that information: as a reminder, its a collective to create a story for them.

not only are asks open, but every type of interaction is allowed, even up to magic anons. if eli reblogs an ask game, he either responds appropriately to how his story has been shaped out or how i see is fit to the rest of his character! want to send musharna malice that means him seeing a nightmare of his past? say it! send pelipper mail of clothing from his dead relatives? say that!

all that i request is that you and the rest of rotomblr make a coherent story. you build off of previous information and make it into one, stable story. they could totally have been there for opelucid city freezing, but not for lysandre attempting to use the ultimate weapon at the same time.

genuinely, a lot goes by communication.

this blog is supposed to be fun. i dont want to see arguments over eli. its supposed to be something that a community works on together and adds in their words to the pages.

not sure whats canon and whats not? heres a google doc to check all valid information!

this intro/full body ref will be updated if need be.

[forgeofthenine]

I got bit by another idea bug and I blame you for reblogging the “Single Dad Dammon” post. I see that and raise you “Tav and Dammon were together before the fall and got separated because Tav was away when the city fell”. (The Tav in the scenario that bit me is not a tiefling, mainly because mine isn’t but this narrative does also work with a tief Tav)

And then when they’re freed from the hells, he has no idea how to find you and you have no idea how to find him. But gods you try. You follow every scrap of a rumor once you’re done grieving and manage to pull yourself together when you can accept that yes, for now (only for now, it can only be for now, please gods don’t let this be life from now on) your husband and child are gone. You chase every thread of hope until there’s nothing left to give and then you move onto the next. The old adventuring instincts you buried when you put away your weapons and armor come screaming back to life from where they went dormant the second you found yourself caught by a pair of eyes like the sunrise over the horizon.

And then you get the word that the city is back and you immediately turn and start running home. But before you can make it there you here word about the city exiling all the tieflings and you can only force yourself to march on, listening for any word of where they may be headed while a white hot rage burns in your chest at the thought of your family going through yet more hardship.

You finally learn that the exiles are heading to Baulder’s Gate and you make your way there, beating the crowds and finding a place to live in the city. (You’ve amassed a small fortune in your recent travels, but it was already a struggle to force yourself just to survive and frivolities held no joy. The only exception was if some little bauble or trinket caught your eye that you thought either of them would enjoy.)

You spend days checking with those managing the influx of refugees, checking multiple times a day for if their names have come though with no results. Logically, in the part of your mind that has to know these things, not everyone who disappeared would have survived Avernus. Ever more have probably fallen on the journey to a new home. But you can’t think about that. They will make it, you will hold them again. You will. (You dont know what you’ll do if you can’t)

One day you overhear some of the newer arrivals talking about the troubles on the road with the goblins and the Absolute’s cult and this is a problem you can help with. You had no way to get to the hells and save your family, never mind rescue your entire city (because as much as you want to, as much as you would want to take your family and run, you would have to try) but goblins and cultists? These are mortal issues that can be solved by mortal means. So you once again put away your sensible clothes, you lock up your new home and task a neighbor with watching it while you’re away and head off, newly armed.

Your maybe a day or two from the city when you get snatched by the Nautiloid and now you have a whole new host of problems to deal with and as much as you wish you could abandon everything and keep searching, you’re no good to anyone dead or a mindflayer. And so you gather your new companions and march on.

Back at the Grove, Dammon is as settled as they can be when your hosts are already planning to chase them from the only safe refuge they’ve had in recent memory. The Archdruid who championed their stay is gone and Zevlor isn’t making any headway with Kagha. Now the goblins are literally at their door again and they’re just waiting until the druids push them into their arms when a ruckus at the gate swells and then suddenly ends. The sounds of battle outside fade to nothing and the gate is opened.

Those that left with Halsin rush in first, followed at a more sedate pace by your party. You have your talk with Zevlor and learn that this is another group of refugees from Elturel. It takes a moment for your heart to catch up with your mind after the conversation ends and suddenly you’re moving, scanning every face you pace, looking for those eyes. The sounds of the world fade away as your ears are full of nothing but a roaring. You pass the training area, your companions following you worriedly. One shouts your name as you head into the common area the tieflings are sharing and Dammon head snaps up at the sound. Your eyes track the movement as a result of years of habit and there he is.

Your reunion is slow, you’ve never been one for big showy emotions but that does nothing to stop the tears from beginning to pour from your eyes as you abruptly start forward towards him.

Dammon is frozen as you walk towards him. He slowly puts down his tools and takes off his apron, convinced that every move he makes will wipe away the mirage he’s sure you are. And yet you’re still there, still walking towards him. He can see the tears and he longs to wipe them away. Then you’re in front of him and you don’t know which one of you reaches for the other first but you hold each other so tight you know there’ll be bruises. It’s only when your child runs up to you and cries out for you that you separate for a moment and come back together again, the three of you bundled tightly with Dammon holding you both so securely that you wondered how you hadn’t fallen apart without him.

I can honestly see it going either way after that, either Dammon joins your camp (because like hell is he letting you run off without them so soon. And you may as well be together anyway, the last time he and your child stayed behind for safety the hells opened up and swallowed their city.)

Or you separate with plans to meet up in Baulder’s Gate once you’re safe again and then reuniting at the Last Light instead. He confess how guilty he feels for running with your child, how others might have been saved if he stayed but he couldn’t take that risk. You hold him while he shakes with his guilt and kiss his brow, his cheeks, his lips, whatever you can while you thank you for saving your child and himself. 🪻

I'm honestly so obsessed with this you won't even believe-

The idea of a short trip separating you from loved ones for weeks, not even knowing if they're alive or if you might see them again. That sweet relief of reuniting (and the palpable confusion of the rest of your group), the needing to figure out 'whats next?'

I'd honestly love a way for Tavs to have a previous connection to existing NPCs (other than durge and Orin/Gortash), even if just from a roleplaying perspective. I adore this though, I always love seeing what you send in flower anon <3

[vorecommunitywoes]

if tinysuzy didnt block me u guys would have seen this earlier lol

more under the cut

pineapple, the red paste comment was literally on something u posted tht she reblogged. this is violent rhetoric that should never be encouraged. if you have a friend who talks about how they want to harm people who disagree with them, that is dangerous. you know those posts that talk about how you should never talk negatively about yourself because then you become more negative in general and hurt your self worth, especially if youre prone to things like depression and anxiety? thats the same logic here. if you express violent thoughts without any thought or care, or with a tone of genuinely wanting to do it, you are one step closer to being a violent person.

the admitting to reblogging blogs with nsfw on them (THE PERSON TINYSUZY IS TALKING ABOUT PROMOTES THEIR NSFW ON THEIR BLOG WITH MULTIPLE POSTS) because "minors can tell the difference between sfw and nsfw vore" when the line for kinks like vore are blurry. just bcuz theres no dicks in the art or other stuff doesnt mean that its ok for a minor to see. maybe the op intended it to be sexual and just isnt tagging it as nsfw because of the lack of genitals. if you post nsfw fetishes, and then post ab them with no mentions of genitals, that doesnt mean its immediately sfw.

and i am not "accusing things out of your control", suzy. YOU control what you post. YOU control what you reblog. YOU control your ability to do the bare minimum of checking if youre talking to someone who DOESNT WANT YOU TO TALK TO THEM because their content is SEXUAL. and they dont want your CHILDREN FOLLOWING to see their porn. THIS IS INHERENTLY ENDANGERING MINORS YOU SO WISH TO "PROTECT". that should NOT be the baseline of a "well respected person" in a fetish community.

would someone who posts about their feet fetish, or diapers, or pee or masochism/sadism fetishes to minors be ok if it was completely nonsexual? and if they reblog from ppl who post both sexual and nonsexual feet/pee/diaper posts for kids to see be ok? think about it. ppl can experience those kinks nonsexually, would it be ok for them to talk about minors to it? why or why not?

also i literally have evidence of her reblogging from nsfw ppl who didnt want their stuff to be seen to minors, its in my first post. there are screenshots and an archive link. her ignoring these ppls sexual boundaries is DANGEROUS. if you just took a look you would see it , and there are multiple ppl who agree with the ARCHIVED LINKS THAT CANT BE DELETED BY HER. (if u dont know what archiving links are, it means preserving a page forever and even if someone deletes the post it will still be on the internet and searchable). i dont know if you accidentally missed the "read more" part of the post, but you can click on that and it shows:

an archive link of the post (a screenshot that a bot takes and uploads what it sees when the page is loaded. i couldnt archive the page as a webpage for some reason but this is the second best thing)

and a screenshot of the person she reblogged from either saying their content is sexual or they dont want minors seeing it.

also like. cmon. thats an ableist comment, pineapple. dont do that, insulting people based off of characteristics they cant change (like someones intelligence, appearance, gender identity, race, or stuff like calling someone ugly or a slur, etc) hurts your friends more than it will ever hurt the person ur insulting. dont internalize behavior like that, criticize the actions, not the traits a person has.

and to clarify i dont blame anyone for not getting involved in this. i just wanted to spread a message about a very clear example of how easy it can be to expose minors to porn in this community, even if you dont intent it IT STILL HAPPENS.

[peaches2217]

(The post reblog abt catholic/protestant guilt) Ok good so its not just me who feels guilty that i feel like i dont belong anywhere.

Not at all. I’ve historically joked (though it’s not a joke at all) that I’m too queer to be properly Christian and too Christian to be properly queer. I got kicked out of a bi support group on FB after opening up about how my faith and my sexuality have intertwined and shaped one another, on account of “hate speech” (with the admin noting that “We don’t accept your kind here,” and I’ll give them credit for the spectacular bluntness of it all), and I’m generally treated with great coldness in similar groups if I mention being Christian; given my own experiences within the faith, I don’t really blame anyone, but it still stings.

On the flip side, years ago, I went to the pastor of the church I was raised in and asked for advice after getting out of an abusive relationship; all he got from it was that it was with a woman, and he got up in front of the congregation the following week and told them how proud of me he was for confessing to my sodomy and seeking forgiveness (which is not at ALL what I went to him for, and I had foolishly assumed it would remain confidential). To this day, people I considered family will turn and walk away if they see me in public, because the moment I was outed, I became a failure and a cautionary tale and nothing else.

So I kinda stick to niche little circles in which I can be fully myself without fear and otherwise just keep my head down. Maybe that sounds childish, but I fight for social justice and reforms within the Christian faith not because I wanna prove I’m a Superior Christian, but because that’s what Jesus did. My job isn’t to convince my church peers that I’m properly devout or to convince the overall queer community that the institution of Christianity is corrupt and Christians aren’t inherently bigots and oppressors. My job is to love and speak up for what’s right. But damn if it doesn’t get disheartening. 😅

[thehighpriestexx420]

PAC (Gif) Tarot Reading :

🔮 Your Connection With Your Specific Person 🔮

This reading includes what you both currently are in your connection, your challenges, & your unifying force.

Take a moment to ask yourself & sense which gif calls out to you. If more than one does, there are multiple messages for you. If one calls out to you instantly/significantly more, then this message is specifically meant for you & will resonate the most.

Piles are 1-4 & are in order.

💖 I offer a more detailed & accurate version of this Connection spread for $20. The rest of my services are pinned & start at $5. You get a FREE one question reading & reiki session when you follow & reblog my pinned post 👇. 💖

Pile One :

My abilities have been getting stronger & as a consequence, this message is a bit longer than my usual pick-a-card readings. If long formats aren't your thing, feel free to skim or take a look at my other PACs!

There's been something or someone trying to get in-between you two to disrupt your union. This attempt hasn't truly been successful. This 3rd party is in the picture but not in a union with your SP. You & your SP are truly in a union energy. You truly know eachother, are connected, & share a bond.

This 3rd party may have been a sex addiction, porn addiction, or some kind of fling. I'm not really getting cheating/betrayal vibes. The energy is more fitting of a situation where you've been dating someone & they haven't been forthcoming that they're dating/hooking up with others. If this is the case, it doesn't have anything to do with a lack of interest in you - it stems from insecurity and consequently an urge to have a back up plan.

This union may be triggering other unhealthy traits/traumas because of how scared they are of the amount of interest they have in you. They haven't been the type of person to put their all into someone for fear of getting hurt. But now that they've met you, for the 1st time or the 1st time in a while, they actually want to overcome these challenges for you & them. This is why they've been acting up/their behavior has changed.

For a significant amount of you, your SP literally has commitment issues. This has become apparent due to you either waiting to get engaged or them getting cold feet after your engagement.

There may be back & forth, hot & cold, in & out energy. Alot of you have an on & off again relationship with them. They have an avoidant attachment type.

I'm seeing someone who's had a difficult life & isn't well off financially as a consequence. I'm seeing someone with a low quality car being frustrated because they don't have enough gas money.

Criticism of self & others are a main theme with them. Try not to take it personally as best you can. They only do this because they don't have much hope for their life/relationships. They have a tendency to keep people at arm's length in general. It's for self-protection as they've had several experiences that have told them it's abundantly necessary.

With that being said, just because you shouldn't take it personally doesn't mean you should just deal with it. Your challenge is to love yourself first & set boundaries.

I feel like you're afraid that if you do that, that will only motivate them to distance themselves further. That may or may not be the case. That wouldn't be your fault. At all. Dont allow others to blame you for their own shortcomings.

There's still hope for this connection because, as I said, they're actually motivated to better themself for you. Despite them being a little embarrassed & not too forthcoming about how passionate & excited they are about you. You're not like anyone they've met before.

Weird note: I saw the letter "P" in this reading as a synchronicity a handful of times. Maybe you or them have a name that starts with P? Maybe their "PP" is a main theme in your connection? 😂

You've been seeking knowledge about this connection. Someone/something (article, youtube vids, this very reading, etc.) has been mentoring you. I'm seeing that someone(s) doesn't approve of your SP & are urging you to dump their ass for good.

I can't say I blame them too much because for some of you they don't treat you very well. They aren't as they appear to be & these people don't know them like you do. You're a little lost & in the dark about this situation. It's recommended you start thinking for yourself.

You have some learning & growth to do, especially in the mental, logic, & communication realm.

You both have 7 of Swords in your Unifying Force so I'm seeing that because of their lack of transparency with their feelings & what they're going through (even outright lying for some), you've been motivated to do the same. You've been looking at tarot readings hoping to find the answer instead of going to the direct source.

I'm seeing that you should find a balance with this. Check in with your own intuition to see if they're telling the truth & only *consider* others' opinions. Open your heart & feelings to them to potentially inspire them to do the same. Make an attempt to end the cycle. Initiate a heart-to-heart conversation.

You both want to take this relationship to the next level & are motivated to overcome these challenges in order to do so. The question is how much are you both willing to sacrifice & do you have enough knowledge/experience in order to have a healthy relationship. You may have to have more individual experiences first. You may not reunite at all, which is ok. What's meant to be is. And everything is for your highest interest, regardless of if you're currently aware of that or not.

For most of you, you've been given the "Very Soon" card so as long as you get your mind clear, it's very likely to inspire them to do the same. There's a high possibility of a reunion coming soon.

Pile Two :

There's no current equal give & take in this connection. Your focus is too outside yourself & their focus is too inside themself.

They've disconnected from you while you're still trying to force the connection, whether energetically or through action. For alot of you I'm seeing the type of energy where you're double texting despite them not responding the first time. You may actually be doing this, have sent a flurry of uninvited texts, & have sent angry ones.

Life goes on & it has to change one way or the other. I'm seeing there's a *major* change in this connection. Like, you're starting a whole new life with them. It won't be *smooth* sailing, as your SP has some turbulence to deal with, but you will indeed be making this huge transition. I'm actually seeing air travel so perhaps you'll be going on a vacation/road trip to several locations or moving far away.

You're holding on too tightly to this connection, for fear that it'll slip away if you don't. Focus on other areas of your life & know that you're abundant regardless. Make a conscious effort to take note of all the things you do have & be grateful for it. Accept what you can't change & change what you can. You'll be feeling alot lighter, grounded, calm, stable, & satisfied when you do.

When you focus more on yourself & find what brings you joy, this more aligned state of being attracts more of your desires in your highest interest.

Your SP desires the childlike playfulness & passion you've shared. They're currently struggling with inaction because they're overcompensating for the times they've not set boundaries with others.

They're currently mistaking self-love for over-protection & needless isolation. Be patient with this process as they're still learning. Respect their boundaries. Pushing them & trying to force things only makes their wall higher & stronger.

It reinforces their belief & you're giving them every right to. So, honestly, most of them aren't mistaking self-love for over-protection at all. You've had within you the ability to establish a respectful, equal give & take relationship more so than their past encounters. But by trying to force them out of their shell, you've forced their hand in not only maintaining their boundaries but enforcing them & making them more firm as well.

They need you to be calm & patient. Once you've given them the space they need, you've become more established in life & independent, & they've gained stability & clarity over this situation, they'll be coming towards you faster than you expected.

Trust in this process & allow yourself & them to heal. Specifically, both of your childhood traumas, past events, & inner children. Allow your inner child to come out & play. Life isn't as scary as it can seem.

Pile Three :

Your SP is some type of buisness partner. Whether that be a co-founder, boss, coworker, etc. For alot of you, they held a higher position of power than you in some sense. You may have just met at work. They may have just been too bossy & controlling. Refarding sexual dynamics, they were dominant.

Although they appeared to be more adult-like than you, you're being reminded that we all started as innocent children & still carry that innocence inside of us.

Your criticisms of this person were born from your ego's programming to defend itself. You got hurt & as a consequence your perception of them shifted in a way that motivated you to avoid/be wary of them. This is a false reality. Yes, you discovered flaws they have. But that doesn't change who they are at their core. They're still that person that attracted you to them.

You're being encouraged to view people almost as if they were children. We're all unconditionally loved children of the Universe - learning, growing, & experiencing. Learn from the mistakes that have happened & work to grow from them with your SP.

I'm also seeing codependency. Perhaps you lived with them rent-free/relied on them for resources & as your source of happiness & love. You're being encouraged to be more independent materially & regarding your relationship dynamics.

We all carry an inner child but we also have to grow along side it. Take care of yourself. We're the ones we're alone with at the end of the day. Make your inner experience enjoyable so you can enjoy your own company. Keep this balanced & allow support along this healing process.

You're currently too thought-based & in your head. Open your heart, let your emotions flow, & let your inner child out to have fun!

For some of you, your SP is from your past in this current lifetime. For most of you, your SP is in a karmic cycle with you. You've lived more lifetimes than this one with them. You're tied together in order to resolve this conflict.

They're waiting for you while you're living in the past & being resistant to change & the flow of life. Your advice is to move forward with what you've learned & to leave the burdens & pain behind.

Both of you wish for clarity, communication, & new ways of communicating. I feel that they were the one who hurt you. The clarity you're after is where this behavior came from, whether or not they can be trusted, & if this connection is salvageable. You both desire to work on your relationship & you're mostly the one wondering if that's even possible.

The clarity they're after is when, how, & whether or not to approach you. They know they hurt you & messed things up. They don't want to hurt & anger you further by reaching out when you're the one who ended things for good reason. But they very much want to express their feelings & desire to move on with you.

Another struggle they have is not really understanding where their & your behavior came from & why. They're internalizing it instead of taking a step back & looking at things objectively. I see that they're taking your exit as a personal rejection rather than what it was ; you protecting & respecting yourself.

They're also interpreting their behavior inaccurately. They don't truly feel that they're a bad person but it's like they feel that's the only conclusion they can come to regarding their behavior.

I feel that this very reaction is what they needed to work on. This situation happened to bring your traumas to light. To be forced to be face-to-face with them & work through them. Your SP is rejection sensitive, insecure, & takes things personally.

If you want to work through this relationship, you may have to be the one who makes the first move. Take your time & only do so if/when you feel called to.

Pile Four

What I'm noticing right away is weariness & questioning if the work you've put in this connection will produce the results you're after. If this connection were a seed, the soil you're planting it in is fertile. Gather your strength & perserverance to cross the finish line you're almost at. Take note of what you've accomplished so far.

You've gone through a spiritual awakening that has caused you to change your direction in this connection. I feel that your SP is manifesting you at a more physical/practical sense & you're manifesting them more with energy & spiritual practices.

Although you're both experiencing this strong desire to be with eachother, your SP isn't as in tune with their intuition. They have conflicting thoughts in their mind & aren't sure where to go from here. They may also have too much divided attention & aren't putting in the appropriate amount of time & effort. They seem to be taking on most of the doubt & weariness in this connection.

You're both experiencing challenges with codependency but especially you. It may have already been hard enforcing your boundaries & focusing on yourself, but with this activation in your awareness, it's made it more difficult to do this. You've been experiencing their energy & the energy of this connection - even if they're at a physical distance.

With this increased accuracy in your awareness has come increased optimism. The downside of your newfound sensitivity is, again, focusing on yourself & other areas of your life. You're being advised to bring your energy into your body & ground it. Look up methods of grounding. I'm seeing that a particularly beneficial one for you is basking in nature & physically familiarizing yourself with the ground - in whatever ways that come to mind.

I'm seeing that for some of you, you haven't even met this person yet. You're manifesting a soulmate in general. There's limitless potential with this. You're not receiving the results as soon as you've hoped for but there's just one more step you have to take before their arrival. One of those steps is letting go of the results & timing. Work on yourself & self-love in the meantime.

[lycanthian]

ao3 authors dont take bluntly worded messages personally (challenge level: IMPOSSIBLE!)

like youre mad someone showed enough interest in your work to ask if there would be more because, what, it was worded directly? not all people communicate the same way, neurodivergent people especially tend to have trouble communicating tone over text, and youre so mad someone you dont know didnt use the exact language you wanted them to when asking you a question that you blocked them and blamed them for losing your motivation to write??? how the fuck were they supposed to know that asking you a question would ruin your entire month? does somebody seriously need to write an mla cited 5 page essay wth mla citations praising your work to ask you if theres going to be more? is the desire in itself to see more not enough of an indication they like it????

hey! that wasnt my fucking post. i know exactly which one youre talking about. i dont know who you are but i dont know what youre getting out of directly sending me this considering im not even a big writer. and that aside, i agree with OP of said post youre referencing. as a neurodivergent person i struggle with task paralysis and executive dysfunction among other things and if someone were to go onto one of my work and make such a direct comment (regardless of if its a Demand or a Request) and ask for more, expecially if its something im doing just for fun, it would make it infinitely more difficult for me to get around to doing it now that it feels like an obligation rather than a hobby. besides the fact that we're talking about AO3 fics here, and writers dont owe you or anyone shit unless youre paying them adequately. you dont get to make a comment expecting a continuation of something from some who is not obligated to continue it.

argument aside, you dont get to respond to a post that i reblogged in my own asks and basically directly argue with me, and you dont get to be rude to people directly in my ask box. i dont fucking care who you are. i cant say im not mad, but like, cmon man. if youre gonna make such an obnoxious move, at least do it off of anon so as to be able to actually talk about it after this initial response. if youre some random person i dont know, what the fuck. if youre someone who follows me, or even someone who im friends with, im disappointed. i dont want anyone to unfollow or break mutuals or anything over this but like. if you even care beyond pissing me off just talk to me normally.

[circular-bircular]

Mmm. I caught a few free minutes today to sit down and respond, so let's unleash this one, shall we?

Below the cut is an ENORMOUS ask, and a (incredibly long, as much as I may try otherside) response. It's about the recent "censorship" (???) drama.

TL;DR: Everyone is allowed to be angry in life, and policing that is kind of outrageously infuriating, especially in spaces where people struggle with things like emotional regulation! I'm allowed to be upset and express that upset, just as much as anyone else. Me expressing frustrations isn't "demonizing" people or attacking them, and I'm sorry if it comes across that way. If you feel I'm attacking you by posting on my own blog how I'm upset about something, or feel I'm attacking you by reblogging posts on tumblr to dissect ableism in articles you yourself posted... Figure out that feeling, or block me? Good lord.

I am not posting anything more about this topic. Please don't send asks about it, or I will simply be deleting them.

Okay. For context, these two asks (combined below) came in about 3 days ago. I was wondering if I should post them in a different format to slim them down, but genuinely, I think I want to present this as I received it. Here it is (with your system name censored, anon -- I recognize your concerns about harassment):

abt frameaclouds post :: politely + trying to come to the table not to argue but to point this out I dont think you can blame a blogger for seeing people reblogging their post from you legit screaming "how dare you" or "fuck you" at them and them then assuming that it's probs best to just block and keep back from that whole group of folks. I liked some of your additions and thought they were interesting as one of frameaclouds followers.... but the way you and others focused almost entirely on nitpicking LB Lee's stuff and some ways things were phrased (ex. - like point 3; all frameacloud said was that DID does not require trauma. you then... agreed and shouted at them?), and the way a lot of you jumped to calling it censorship and silencing when frameacloud refused to engage afterwards, really kind of makes it look like you're interpreting their post and actions in the worst light possible. it makes it seem like you're coming from a place of bad faith. you mentioned some cool perspective in your reblog, where you talked about how it came off to someone who had your specific background and knowledge and what u found the issues to be, but you haven't done the reverse: you haven't considered how your reblog was going to come across to an otherkin whose been around for a really long time and who is probably used to dealing with tons and tons of trolls who are going to take what they say in the least generous way possible, twist their words, + use it to belittle and harass them. like this is an otherkin who's been around since the grilling times and usenet days. and a bunch of people who seem to be in ur circles citing back to the post and kind of beating their chests about it even tho frameacloud is making a point not to fight or argue about it and to just block and move on...and u urself described ur response as a 'rant' which has a pretty diff connotation than 'discussion' or 'criticism'...well its likely to just project that kind of image further, that ur just here to flame war, even if thats not what ur doing or how u want to come across. ik that's how it came across to me and even after seeing some of ur past posts on ur blog that i really liked im still a little skeptical that this ask isnt gonna be either trashed mocked or taken out of context by u or someone who follows u. and also i want to remind people that like......... u r not owed access to anyone on socmed. frameacloud and any other blogger is allowed to block anyone for any reason. and its unhealthy to say that ur owed other ppls blogs and posts to platform on. respect other ppls boundaries without villainizing them cuz otherwise ur just opening up a can of worms to lie in. and ik u said in a later post that theyre well within their rights to block u but u also reblogged a post before that calling it censorship. so like... this is what i mean about coming off as disengenuous and troll-y, stuff like this is why even if i liked some of ur reblog i wont rb it. if i rb it and end up deleting it later am i gonna be told by others that im 'censoring' u? if i make a mistake and say something wrong in a tag am i gonna get jumped with a 5k word essay from four different ppl telling me how much i suck? its a hypothetical but only sorta with whats been happening on ur blog and elsewhere in this discussion. its bad form and its not super fair to frameacloud who still hasnt done legit anything yet but block ppl and i really cant say enough how much i dont blame them with some of whats been said n what sort of conclusions ppl r jumping to abt them. (also now that im thinking of the context if u did come across as bad faith engagement to frameacloud then they probably didnt respond to ur ask because it screamed BAIT to them cuz ik in their shoes id think the same. i mean their blog 99% runs on queue...the last post they reblogged that wasnt on their queue was ONE post on the 11th from their boyfriend and be4 that ONE on the 9th...all while u have someone gossiping in a prev ask that they 'often do this'. i can see frameaclouds POV)

like i swear im not trying to start a fight but can u see how this comes off. claiming u want a discussion and then thanking someone who is calling blocking censorship, saying that theyre in their rights to block but then posting an ask that says this blog that makes maybe like two or three original posts a month "does this often", the original aggro all over the reblogs that stem from ur first reblog in the reblog chart... like frameacloud is the one who blocked first but u have to srsly consider why they did + why they refuse to engage at all + what it looks like to ppl outside of the type of syscourse ur used to, like them and like me. if u want ppl to listen, then this isnt a good way to promote the kind of discussions u say u want. it just drives ppl away and maybe it feels temporarly vindicating but its not helpful. i want to see the things ur talking abt talked abt more but if its always going to be like that and theres no way for it to be less like trekking thru a field of mines where someone might blow up at u for something u dnt even realize is wrong at the time then i dunno

...

So, first off, I apologize profusely to everyone for how long-winded I am. I write a LOT, a habit I have always, always tried to break, and I now realize just how much it is to see thousands of words in response to things. This is nearly 1k of words I woke up to right before leaving for my vacation. Talk about wild to read right after waking up. (I also apologize because what follows is similarly so long winded and I cannot figure out how to not do this).

I attempted to write up my response. Took a full day and a half, writing and writing and writing. And here's the thing, I wrote around 3k words trying to explain my perspective, trying to acknowledge what I agreed and disagreed with from your asks, from your perspective, and just...

Dude, I am so fucking done with this shit. Not your asks in particular, but with syscourse in general.

This ask presents me with a damned if I do, damned if I don't scenario. I could leave it to rot in my inbox, but then I'm a hypocrite for not engaging with discussions about things, which is what I say I want people to do. I could finish writing up my 3k+ word response, but then my words are going to be twisted as they always are because I'm long winded and I am just trying my best to (probably over)explain myself.

Or... I can just. Explain as briefly as possible here what I'm feeling, thinking, and doing.

So... Here goes my best shot.

One:

First and foremost, I could care less at this point about frameacloud. Good fucking lord, I have tried to keep their username in my head through all of this, but it's genuinely so hard and I just end up scrolling up. I have never interacted with this user before this, and I clearly won't be again. My beef is not with them. I could care less about this user or their business; they are a tumblr user who exists. Wow!

My upset was about how the conversation was cut off. That's all. That's it. Wow, it sucks how all conversations are cut off when people block others for any reason. I hate how long MY blocklist is, strictly for my mental health. I hate how many people I have to block to keep myself healthy, because it cuts off communication. Is it... condemning myself to saying, "It's a shame that they cut off communication like that" when I've blocked plenty of very vocal syscoursers?

No. As I've said numerous times through all this, people should be able to block whoever they want. Even if I talk about how upsetting that may be, I mean absolutely no ill will to the person who literally should not know I'm talking about how upset I am, because said person has me blocked.

Two:

I don't care why they blocked me. Maybe they personally hate me, maybe they heard about me from who-is-page or whoever (I know I've bumped heads with them in the past once or twice before), maybe they thought I was a troll, maybe they thought I was overly angry, whatever-

That literally means nothing to me other than " :( Fucking goddamn it, that means my response will be hidden."

What I am upset about isn't that they blocked me; I'm upset that the conversation was cut short and hidden in all aspects. By that I mean, I don't care I was blocked and hidden; I care that every single user who reblogged either me or SAS's reply was also hidden. Like. Every single tag was. I don't know if that's tumblr's doing, or OPs doing, or what have you, but again -- it doesn't matter.

All I'm saying is "damn, buddy, that sucks."

Three:

They didn't respond to my ask, and I mentioned that in my follow up post to show I tried to reach out genuinely. I didn't want people to think I was posting this without trying to reach out originally. That was all. It was once again me complaining that the conversation was completely cut off, regardless of the reason why it was cut off.

And here's where I'll address the elephant that I see, or at least the first one.

I'm allowed to be however angry I want on my blog, on my posts, and in my life. I'm allowed to shout, curse, and be pissed off. And no, they don't need to engage with it, and no, I don't need to be happy about that fact.

This is a tumblr blog, sir.

I'm not a medical professional or a debater on a stage in front of a podium. I'm a 26 year old trauma survivor who got upset about a fucking severely ableist post. I think I should be allowed to be a bit pissy about it.

Being told so frequently recently that I need to "be nice to convince people" is such whiplash, because less than a year ago, I was that person. I was the person telling everyone to let go of their anger, to be nice to convince the other side, that everyone needs to be polite. I did this so much that I literally was known as the Respectability Politics Syscourser. That was a legitimate label I used. I was told so often that I was a filthy centrist and that I was worse than homophobic bigots because I was trying to get everyone to just be nice to each other. I got fucking harassed for simply posting "Everyone should respect each other" to the syscourse tags.

Is that healthy?

A topic I discuss most frequently with my therapist at the moment is reclaiming anger. I struggle severely with loyalty and fawning, convinced that if I show any negative emotion whatsoever, I'll be hurt and shoved aside and abandoned by those I love. (Ouch). Here's just a few things I've learned in the past year or so:

Anger is the part of you that knows you deserve better.

Anger is a form of self-love.

Anger is a secondary emotion; what emotion lies under it? (This is the one I struggle with the most)

In... Fall of last year (the exact month escapes me), I ended up blowing up due to how long I had kept myself censored and kept myself "polite" for others. Due to how much anger I'd shoved aside and kept under wraps for the benefit of others. Because being angry would "reflect badly" on me and my friends; because it would make what I had to share less accessible to others.

... I'm done with doing that. Therapist's literal orders. In fact, if my therapist had his way, I would not have a system blog, be part of any system servers, or talk to anyone online who has DID, because the fact fucking is, none of you are safe to talk to. It will always be a triggering space. (Thankfully, my therapist also acknowledges that he is a singlet, doesn't know my brain, and that I am my own person who can make my own choices).

If OP of the post decided to make a big huge post blowing up in anger and frustration at how horrible I am, good for them. If you block me out of anger, good for you! I do not care, because I will be happy you are doing what is best for you. I am happy OP did what's best for them.

And equally, upset that a convo about ableism was hidden.

That brings me to:

Four:

Out of all the shit said and reblogged through that little single blip on the syscourse radar (I think around 10 posts out of 20 in that single 24 hours), I do regret posting that ask about OP "doing this often". That one is on me, and tbh, I'm gonna delete it. It was drama, and I do try to avoid that. I hardly added anything to it, and while I know my perspective on why I posted it, I also acknowledge that it'll do literally jack shit to explain why. So I'm just gonna delete it and move on.

But in everything else, I was only lamenting the fact that every response was hidden beyond those agreeing with OP.

I thanked Candlelight (the first user to call it censorship from what I can see) for stating that the responses were all hidden, but moreover, for mentioning that they didn't agree with everything I said. I spoke on that post primarily driven by anger at Lee's ableism. I KNOW it was not a perfect post. That's because I'm not a Perfect Debater(TM).

All I wanted was A DISCUSSION ABOUT ABLEISM!

(Note: This is commonly seen as yelling; for me, via text, I see this as EXTREME EMPHASIS. Sorry it apparently comes across as yelling! I see it as yelling a bit in my mind, but I can see how the TONE is lost in those cases. Right now, my tone is exhausted frustration, but I see no need to ACTUALLY raise my voice at you.)

I think that's the thing that's pissed me off the most. Everyone and their brother wants to either agree or disagree with me about censorship. I have my own thoughts on censorship (it's basically always bad, but there's nuance on all things, is exclusion censorship, etc etc) but those are not relevant because nobody has even fucking addressed the ableism.

The articles -- linked by OP, but who gives a shit at this point -- came off as ableist. I reblogged OP's post because they are the ones who posted the ableist articles to the DID tags. That is how tumblr is used, is it not? And yes, I expressed my anger... at the articles... on the post that had the articles...

And OP hid those critiques for their own reasons... and I lamented that they were hidden... so I made a post about it while explaining the context ('Hey if you're wondering why I'm making this big huge long post AGAIN, OP blocked my response and everyone elses, and yes I have tried to resolve it, but this one's plan B for getting the word out that these articles and ideas are really harmful online')

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. You see why this is so hard to keep short, right? I surely hope so. There's a LOT to tackle here, and a lot of emotions, and a lot of different topics/nuances.

FIVE: RAPID FIRE ROUND (With Review!)

I don't care about otherkin spaces or know shit about them. They're triggering for me. Bluh.

I don't blame OP for blocking me.

I don't hate you or want to attack you for this ask, sorry you feel that way.

If someone deletes a reblog, I just assume they made a mistake reblogging it? Do people attack others for this shit?

I nitpicked Lee's response because Lee's response was the most ableist shit I've seen in a bit, and I did that on OP's post because they're the one who posted it.

I didn't agree that DID does not always need trauma? I explicitly said it is always trauma based? I'm so confused about that point.

Is "Ranting" seen as trolling now? I use "rant" to mean "Shit, I went on for a LONG time." It's synonymous with ramble for me.

I don't know how to break it to everyone, but posting online means it is inherently unsafe, and someone may attack you or blow up at you. It's the world wide web. It sucks. (That doesn't mean it's deserved or that I endorse that behavior; it's just... life).

Ugh.

At the end of the day, I just want to be able to have my fucking disorder and scroll tags about my disorder without seeing:

It doesn't need trauma to form

Traumagenic systems are 'obsessed with suffering'

Endogenic systems are 'healthy' forms of plurality (As opposed to DID)

Yknow. Syscourse in general.

And similar shit.

Is that too much to ask??

Anon; I know this doesn't address all of your points. I KNOW I haven't gone point by point like I wanted to. My original draft did that, but I only got halfway before hitting 3k words, and you seemed... really adverse to a long ra- ramble, not rant. Sorry? Ugh.

Just take this, and I hope this topic doesn't come back to me, because I'm kinda done with it entirely at this rate.

[sterlingarcher]

I love seeing your posts about like bandom history and just discussion and reflection from a more mature adult's angle, it's really relatable to me at 29. And while I have not involved in bandom before late 2015, I have studied a lot myself, and Panic! and Brendon were my first faves and still high up there. It really disappoints me how brutal antis are as I have figured them out to a T, treating minor errors as hate-crimes from Brendon but not anyone else. Are we not all human?

i havent checked my messages in so long so im not 100% certain when this was sent but this was a really nice thing to stumble upon today 😭😭😭 it makes me feel good to know that there are people out there who can sort of ~smell what im stepping in~ so to speak and that when i talk about this stuff its not always falling on deaf ears. ive always rejected the term “anti” because it feels so immature to say, but honestly what other word is there to even describe most of these people? haters? bullies? assholes? they dont have any actual critical thought behind why they came to hate brendon, they just know it became the cool and popular thing to hate him and “blame him” for shit and they couldnt bear the thought of not following the crowd and fitting in. youd be hard pressed to find me anyone whos life has been documented and scrutinized for as long as and as harshly as brendons since they were a teenager who HASNT stumbled or fucked up or put their foot in their mouth at some point. its wildly hypocritical because these people act very pure and righteous, and like theyve never done or said anything wrong or questionable or problematic in their lives which is just…. quite literally patently untrue for every person on earth. to assert moral and ethical superiority over a person like brendon is to be horrendously disingenuous, and it grossly highlights the efficacy of social media fandom war smear campaigns, lack of proper journalism, and the terrifying degeneration of peoples ability to engage in critical thought and perform unbiased fact-based research. these people act like brendon singlehandedly committed genocide or some shit, and honestly i find these people spend far more time thinking and talking about him than we as fans do. like he quite literally lives in these peoples heads rent free, and these are the same people who call us pathetic for still enjoying him and his music after all these years and not dropping off and following the crowd of sheeple like they did. like these people have the nerve to behave like 13 year old lunch-room bullies and then turn around and call people cringe and pathetic for *checks notes* … enjoying someone and their art and music. like honey the call is coming from inside the house. they love to use the classics like “jeez its just a joke” or “its not that deep…” when the reality is that if it was truly not that deep they wouldnt spend so much time obsessing over him and talking about him more than his fucking fans do. they quite literally troll his and panics tags and quote retweet and reblog almost everything they see with a shitty snide remark that they truly think is soooo clever and original (🙄) like its their fucking 6 figure paid career path. they constantly poke the bear, go swinging at a hornets nest with lead pipes, and then they get confused and pissed when they get bit and stung. like literally dude what did you expect? you come into a space specifically to cause trouble and piss people off and then act like the victim when you actually accomplish that??? call people cringe and fail and annoying and strange when they get emotional over something they clearly care deeply about??? as though if the tables werent turned these people wouldnt immediately start screaming crying throwing up and playing the victim. honestly though at the very end of the day i truly believe these proudly self-proclaimed “haters” are more miserable than ill ever be no matter how bad my life circumstances get. because ultimately i only spend a few hours, maybe a day or two at most being pissed that these bullies and mean-girls exist and love to invade our spaces for shits and giggles. but they apparently spend entire days, weeks, months… YEARS of their lives being bitter and vile and mean for the sake of maybe 10 likes on twitter and 5 minutes of internet validation. what a sad fucking existence. i prefer to be someone who enjoys things and engages with and consumes things that make me happy and joyful thank you :) anyway sorry for the ramble! if you read all of it i appreciate and love you for it!! 💕

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

a loved one of mine sent me this post back in June, but i was immediately afraid of being a party-pooper so i didnt post my reply publicly but, now, ive had more than enough emotional distance from the knee-jerk anxiety of "oh no what if i correct people and everyone sends me hate and doxxes me" that im like "oh yeah i should post that" lmao (if i already did this: sorry, chronic memory loss stinks. i dont remember having done this before lmao)

if you dont like reading a long thing of text to get information btw, totally get it, here is a video link to Jessica Vill's video about the topic which will walk you through identical information if that is your preferred way to process/learn

also: you can easily google and wiki my sources, these arent hard things to verify once you know to look them up to begin with. but i did include screenshots below as my various sources; as well as evidence of "yeah, it would be super easy to fact-check me about this if you feel so inclined" [transcripts of images will be my reblog of this post under a read more, bc tumblr kept throwing a fit otherwise if i did it here] nonetheless, never blame people for not knowing what they didnt know. the misconception is absolutely the fault of PBS (for not fact-checking the author of that article pre-publication if nothing else) for publishing an article preying on the Black community's pre-existing attachment to Betty Boop for clicks. i wont be going into that article itself that had so terribly misreported, esp since PBS already apologized, im just reporting the information i know

i will add the following corrections to what i said in that DM:

i do not "blame" anyone above for the misinformation. if i "blame" anyone, it is PBS for claiming Fleischer consciously based Betty Boop's personality and design on Esther Jones, which you can see in the screenshot above; where BlackHistory.com cites and quotes that said misreported article. thats who i was groaning about in my DM, the PBS article; i was not nor was i ever attributing misinformation to come from @rikareena or @lveshae, but especially not @rikareena who fact-checked and was lied to by (a) said misinformation and (b) there not being an editorial within the snippet SAYING "oh btw sorry, our source we mentioned was bad actually. PBS apologized for the misinformation and not fact-checking it and we should too for spreading it without fact-checking our source ourselves". you should always google your facts and that is exactly what @rikareena did. it was not anybody in this post's fault that these sources were based on misinformation. do NOT blame or send negative attention to any tumblr-user/individual person within this post or outside of this post, istg, demand better of these website-sources instead (esp to have fact-checking teams themselves) and not individual people omfg

we do have few photos of Little Esther (you can see all of them in Jessica Vill's video), not just one. but they all are of her as a child. we have NO confirmed photos of her as an adult. also, to clarify, Little Esther was who i was talking about in regards to lost media, we have VERY little records of her performances (to which im glad people HAVE been looking into her and finding more about her that we can confirm is definitely her through this misreport. i love that she is re-gaining fans and her story is being shared, very big silver lining of this whole thing. if you're into uncovering lost media, please do look into her and help find more about her) also, she goes by "Baby Esther" and "Little Esther" as well as her name of Esther Jones/Esther Lee Jones

the photo i said was maybe her as an adult was incorrect. you'll see it below, it's the "Do Tell by James Van Der Zee, circa 1930" portrait that has oft been misattributed to Esther Jones. we do not know who this woman modeling for him had been

the cosplayer in question i mentioned was specifically Olya Gussy. she dressed up as Betty Boop and was photographed in 2008 by Retro Atelier. she is often misattributed as being an adult Esther Jones, which she is not

part of why i can never remember Betty Boop's primary "original" voice-actress is because Betty Boop has had SO MANY, even in just "classic Betty years". but i was specifically thinking of Mae Questel. the main three classic 1930s Betty Boop voices were Mae Questel, Mary Hines, and Bonnie Poe, but there were also several others in the 30s alone. but, yeah, when i was trying to talk about Betty Boop's voice-actress, it was Questel specifically who was in my head

i got my information wrong about the Betty Boop musical "Boop!". i got confused; i blame my chronic memory loss, but still my bad. anyway. it has so far ONLY been OFF-Broadway and is DUE to be ON Broadway in 2025 (get hyped!!! im so excited!!). off of Broadway, it has so far only been in Chicago according to the Wikipedia. and though it only had a had a short run in Chicago overall, the entire time it WAS in Chicago, Betty Boop was played by a Black musical actress: Jasmine Amy Rogers. love her, go support her!!

here are various screenshots with more information. feel free to look into them and/or the court-case on your own time. this is just "yep, shallow 2+2=4 levels of using google/wiki to fact-fact" on myself (which, to reiterate: is NOT a diss on anyone who didnt know what they didnt know, outside of this post or within it, idgaf, i do not tolerate trolls and dickheads being mean and utalizing me/my posts as a weapon to do that with) and show my sources in a more visual way

so yeah!! Betty Boop absolutely should be claimed by Black people since she has so many connections to Black American art within her performance, and Betty should 100% be drawn as a Black woman by any and everybody who wants to depict her that way

but also dont give Fleischer Studios credit for things they didnt do. they did not utalize Ether Jones in their initial conception of Betty in any purposeful or concious way; they did not design a Black animated female character in the 1930s. do not give them that credit that they have not earned. Fleischer Studios only utalized Esther Jones to get out of a court-case they had with Helen Kane. them accidentally creating a character whose performance is heavily in connection with Black American artists, like Esther Jones, is VERY DIFFERENT than them basing a character off of Esther Jones or being inspired by her in of by itself. do not give them flowers for making a Black female character star in her own shorts (and then rescind said flowers-that-they-didnt-earn for how she then "became white-washed" like that PBS article misreported) when they just?? didnt do any of that?

(also this is mostly unrelated but bc it is tangentially related to "dont give Fleischer Studios credit for things they didnt do" thing: if you know me, youll see me specifically crack jokes about Betty Boop being wlw and/or about her "he/him butch girlfriend, Freddie". im talking about her canon boyfriend, Fred or Fearless Fred, who is a human (unlike her also once-canon boyfriend of Bimbo, the anthropomorphic dog). do not take me making jokes about headcanons and how "Fred's design is too sapphic to be a cis man" as legitimate fact. youll see the internet jokes of a similar vein sometimes, im definitely not the originator of that joke)

Betty Boop is for everybody in the same way as youve likely seen that Hatsune Miku trend where everyone is making a cultural Miku re-design to their specific ethnicity or way of life; we've seen Betty Boop be flexibly "for everyone" tons of times, even outside of her being a nostalgic tribute to the flapper girl era (a cultural niche in which women of ALL backgrounds took part). in classic Betty Boop cartoons alone, we've seen:

Betty Boop as white/white-passing (especially any time they copied Helen Kane which Fleischer Studios did OFTEN and didn't even HIDE until it became a legal issue; but also Helen Kane wasn't even being that original. baby voices like Betty Boop's was a common gimmick of actresses then and Helen Kane's catch-phrase wasn't even her own. i still personally think Fleischer was copying Kane, but also it makes 100% sense why she lost that lawsuit),

we have had Betty Boop be Jewish (the most obvious being parents in some shorts speaking with thick Yiddish accents, implying she is the daughter of immigrant parents, most famously in the "Minnie the Moocher" short as part of the set-up before any music even began to play),

we've had her be rotoscoped dancing using Indigenous Hawaiian dancers, in their regalia, and given a tan (multiple times but my favorite is "Bamboo Isle" for sure),

we've had her collab with Cab Calloway (a famous Black jazz musician for anyone who doesn' recognize the name) along with others and had Betty Boop's catchphrase ultimately come from Baby Esther's scatting, along with other instances of Betty Boop's performances having connection to Black American performance-art

and, hell, you could even make arguments about Betty Boop as a cowgirl in her "Nan McGrew" parodies. cowgirls and cowboys were a largely queer and/or POC group, paid very little but allowed a lot of freedom of expression and welcomed isolation, until America cinema and the like white-washed cowboys to hell and back. you could see Betty Boop as anyone of any identity, really, but especially as being of the marginalized in that vein

Fleischer Studios did definitely (accidentally popularize infantalization in animated women woah who said that, who brought up my special-interest) only announce that they used an alagamation of flapper women in their design to better shoot down Helen Kane, but that doesn't mean it wasn't true. Betty Boop IS the 1930s tribute to the flapper era of the 20s and all the women from there, of all skin-colors and ways of life. anybody can cosplay or draw Betty Boop. but Black people especially do have a special connection to Betty Boop that cannot be denied and is v beautiful

(i could talk for a few hours about Betty Boop, and i will be the first to admit this isn't even her first "well, originally..." debate concerning her as a character, much less the breadth of her impact OR all aspects of her history. there's all the ways she did steal/borrow from Helen Kane, at least in my opinion; her impact of infantalization in animated women's designs; her hyper-sexualization and how theater at the time functioned (in a sexual way*) and her specific "gags in the margins"(*×2) animators would make; her almost movie about her and her father that a lot of Betty Boop fans have dug up and shared the conceptual work of around; and even the debate of her age as that is constantly in flux depending on where you look and at what time of history (*×3). all of which i mention in an "if you liked learning about Betty, there is a lot more to look into learning about her" way rather than an "ask me, ask me, ask me" way)

(said * clarifactions will be with the aforementioned reblog to not make this post even LONGER than it already is lmao)

anyway. again: A++ art though, absolutely love it ♡

boop-boop-a-doop

[macncherries]

Full grown white man typing an essay over why he's not racist. Jesus Christ

You are white. You are not a person of color. Please listen to brown and black people instead of talking over them.

Hello again! I assume this is the same Anon as before (i apologize if not.) Sorry for any confusion, i was not writing "an essay" on why i was not racist. I was outlining the new and old terminology i have used for clarification purposes! I thought you had made an innocent mistake. I understand that There is an answer under the cut. I do not feel it fair to subject my followers to an Anon consistently clinging to my ask-box, on a concept they do not care to understand, in motivation purely to perpetuate irrelevant, melodramatic conversations.

For everyone else, thank you for sticking around! I know its been mostly text posts from me lately >_< theres more Labru art on the way!! Im also planning on doing kinktober for Labru!!! please stay tuned!

I actually did not even know you were even attempting to call me racist. I thought you were confused on the difference between "race science" and anthropology. I assume you are young, or uneducated about more niche sciences (which is okay) but i dont think its right to call someone racist for having a special interest in something you do not understand. And for something you likely did not fully read. It is not appropriate for you to lightly throw around accusations like that. Especially without proper commitment, research, or evidence Considering youre calling it "an essay" at a measly 544 words, i can safely assume you also did not bother to read the full thread(s) of reblogs your comment originates from. 544 words is not even considered an essay in college. Im required to write that much for a discussion post. Regardless, I can also assume this to be the case because the person who originates that thread (whom i outwardly agreed with, amplified, and was newly informed by) is POC. I dont feel comfortable depending on that aspect any further though, because i dont know OP personally, and wouldnt feel comfortable roping them into anything.

And i am white, im not hiding that fact, so im not sure why youre using it as a "gotcha" moment. I am a person who cares deeply about ethnically accurate features, cultural implications, skeletal anatomy, and anthropology. I care about being accurate to characters ethnic backgrounds, whether canon or implied. White people can do that. Its better for white people to do that, rather than be racially ignorant.

And, by extension, I am listening to people of all ethnicities. Especially POC. I am not speaking over anyone, and am only adding my own commentary. More importantly; no one else, not white, not POC, has spoken against it. So i physically am unable to speak over anyone.

More importantly though, i have talked to, and received input from POC already. Thank you for your concern. I have received input that what information i put out there did help people. People from everywhere. It was so very beautiful to hear. I saw multiple people both here and elsewhere appreciate the research i did. That was so heartening. And so despite this whole text post, i also want to thank anyone who contributed, reblogged, liked, just appreciated, or talked to me in reference to those original posts.

All contributions to the reblog thread had an overarching theme, and since you didnt read it all, i dont blame you for not knowing. That is; assessing the best, most accurate, possible way to portray Kabru and Thistles ethnic ambiguity. I go very much in depth as to how achieve that, as well as where i specifically find Kabru to most likely originate from in comparison to our own worlds culture and geography. I use anthropological and facial-anatomical evidence to support that. The evidence i use is not related to "race science" or anything similarly grotesque. The implication that "race science" is at all similar to anthropology is a disservice to everyone who studies it, professionally or otherwise. Anthropology inherently acknowledges that each ethnicity is different, and that those differences should be demystified and honoured. For the purpose of integration, ethnic appreciation, and antidiscrimination.

You are of the opinion that commemoration and study of different ethnicities is racism. Why you believe that is beyond me, but nonetheless, what you are insinuating is the equivalent of saying "i dont see race". I hope i do not have to point out the issue there...

You will also likely not read the entirety of this, either. It is unfortunately 820 words, which is beyond your limit. That is okay. Im here to tell everyone else that your background and culture is deeply appreciated. If it were within my capabilities, i would love to speak to every one of you and represent you within someone you hold dearly. That is my goal. I hope to continue upholding that with my art. I hope to continue doing thorough research to help aid peoples solidarity and interest in characters.

[heatobrienswife]

.

[ml---gone]

yall really out here having strong and close friendships with your internet friends??? wild

[srjlvr]

hiiii ^^ i have been reading your works and i really love them so much!! especially the enha reactions ones <3

i was wondering if you could do an idol!reader & enha reaction to their idol!s/o crying/comes crying because they made a small mistake while performing? and like they reassure the reader and stuff hehe thank youuuu~ looking forward to more of your works, hope you have a nice day today!! ^^

notes💕

aww thank you so much!!🥹🥹 i got pretty much all my followers bc of my enha reactions and honestly i missed it a lot😭 thank you so much for requesting!! i love the idea so much!! hope i stood up your hopes!<3 ( just finished writing it all and idk i dont really like it— let me know what you think about this one!! )

© srjlvr , pls don’t copy/translate any of my works without permission ! | reblogs and comments are very appreciated !

𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍

. . ҂ Enhypen reaction to their idol s/o crying after making a small mistake while preforming ! . . ҂

. . ҂ Genre: fluff … ot7 idol!Enhypen X idol!Reader . . ҂

— Heeseung ♡

While preforming one of your songs, you accidentally bumped into one of your members and lost control for a second, you instantly fixed your dance moves and continued dancing, looking around nervously to see any reaction from your fans who were watching you.

Heeseung was backstage, waiting for you to finish and to support you, he saw your little mistake and giggled, thinking your one little mistake was the cutest thing he ever saw.

As you got off stage, breathing heavily as you felt out of breath from the physical workout, you felt your tears about to burst. Once you got in your backroom and saw Heeseung there, smiling with his shiny teeth and arms opened, you hugged him tightly while the tears finally streamed your face.

Heeseung worriedly hugged you back, his smile soon turned into a worried expression, “I made a mistake, everyone is going to hate me for that” You cried out. Heeseung weakly smiled and pat your head, “That one slip you call a ‘mistake’ was the cutest thing i’ve ever saw, and if anyone is going to hate you for that, i’m going to hate them back. You did your best, and i’m proud of you for that, you were so professional i could barely even spot the mistake” He gave you a peck on your forehead and kept hugging you.

— Jay ♡

Your earpiece stopped working at the middle of the performance and you lost the tempo, you were a little behind the others and freaked out for a second. You quickly removed one of your earpieces and fixed your moves.

The rest of the performance went well as the earpieces suddenly started to work again, you felt much confidence and less stressed although you could already feel the tears threatening to come out.

Jay was watching you from the side, from time to time you were looking at him smiling at you and clapping his hands loudly, however, after the quick accident you didn’t even dare to look at him back and it made him confused.

When you got off the stage, he tried to approach you but you were too busy with your accident that you forgot he got there to cheer you up. He caught your hand as you kept roaming around your room and quickly pushed you to a room for you two.

When he saw that a tear or two already fell from your eyes, he was quick to wipe them off with his thumb and made you look at him, deeply in his eyes. You told him right after what happened and he smiled at you. “If it’s because that stupid little accident, it’s not your fault, it’s really not. There are some things that are controllable and the earpiece is not one of them, you should let yourself relax and don’t blame yourself for that” He pecked your lips and hugged you tightly, whispering comforting things to make you more relaxed.

— Jake ♡

A week before the performance you got sick, not being able to practice on the dance and performance. You members suggested you skip the performance to have some more time to practice the dance but you kept pushing it and rejected the suggestions.

While performing, you happened to forget the few next steps, you freaked out a bit, roaming your eyes around the stage to follow your members’ moves, a few seconds later and you managed to remember the rest of the steps.

Jake, who was in the crowd, gasped worriedly when he saw your hesitation and realization, as soon as he saw your little mistake he knew you would probably blame yourself hardly for that. He ran backstage as you finished the performance and already saw you with tears.

The first instinct of his was to hug you tightly and take you to a room without anyone, and that’s what he did. After settling down on one of the sofas, he held your hands and looked at your sore eyes, “You did well, i always get so amazed when i see you performing” He pecked your forehead and smiled, “Aren’t you disappointed? I ruined the performance, it was too ugly to watch” You rolled your eyes, annoyed by your mistake.

“Ruined? Disappointed? I would never be disappointed in you,” He chuckled, “Why would I? This performance was the best one i’ve ever saw and whatever happened there was nothing, you were sick, you couldn’t practice enough and you managed to pull through it, i’m proud of you for that” He once again hugged you tighter than before until the tears stopped falling.

— Sunghoon ♡

The performance day happened on a rainy weather, the rain just stopped falling but you were forced to get on stage on perform. The stage was slippery, the staffs didn’t bother to clean it as much and you were left on a risk-to-fall stage.

You talked it out with your stylist who gave you high heels for the stage and told them about your concern, Sunghoon was also there to explain the stylists why its wrong and even managed to argue with your manager about going up stage. No matter how hard you tried, “The show must go on” They said, and so you did end up on the stage.

You and your members tried your best to perform and not slip off from the stage and were actually pretty shocked when most of the performance went well, Sunghoon was also backstage watching you nervously from the side, shocked by how focused you were, but couldn’t stop worrying.

You part was coming up and as you got in the center, you slipped off and fell on stage, shocked by the fall, you stayed there for a few seconds, the whole performance until now went well so why did you have to fall now? You blamed yourself hardly for that, but you had to continue the stage.

When you got carefully off the stage, Sunghoon was fast to pick you up and take you to your backroom, he sat you down and instantly checked on you to see if you got hurt. When he looked up at you he saw you were on the verge of tears, he quickly pecked your forehead and stared at you deeply in your eyes, “It’s not your fault, your manager and staffs are at fault, the stage was slippery as hell and you couldn’t do anything about it, stop blaming yourself for everything that happens” Usually, Sunghoon had hard time to notice what you feel, but this time, he figured it without you saying anything.

— Sunoo ♡

Your part in the stage came up and usually, the specific move you have to do is easy for you. It’s something about three spins with your hands up and then you lift your leg high while signing the part, like a ballerina. Today, you had a massive headache and weren’t sure if you could even perform.

Feeling commitment to perform, you took a painkiller to ease the pain, thinking everything would work just fine. But as soon as you got on stage you could feel the headache starting to hit you hard and when the first spin of your part came up, you fell on your knees, not being able to continue the rest of your part for a few seconds.

You got up after shaking your head and fixing your sight and continued to perform with hurting knees and head. Sunoo, who was in his own backroom, getting ready for his performance while watching your stage, gasped worriedly as he saw you falling. He immediately stopped his stylist and went to your backroom, waiting for you to finish.

When you got in after the stage, Sunoo ran up to you and hugged you, hand on your head and the other on your back, tightening his grip on you, “Are you okay?” He released the grip and looked at you, both hands on both sides of your face, he saw a few tears on your cheeks and quickly wiped them.

“I fell down, i ruined the performance, i couldn’t even finish the rest of the stage perfectly” You cried out. Sunoo was fast to wipe your tears once again and held you close to him, “It’s not your fault and nothing is ruined, you had headaches and still managed to perform amazingly, i’m sure the fans are more worried about you, you did an amazing job, i love you, dont blame yourself for that” He weakly smiled to you and again wiped the tears that kept coming out.

— Jungwon ♡

The song you were performing was one of your favorite ones to perform, you feel excited every time you’re performing this song. As your part came up, you accidentally bumped into the camera and caused everyone to stop. Too embarrassed with yourself you covered your face, apologizing over and over.

Jungwon who was watching you from behind, felt scared and nervous, he was worried you might blame yourself and it won’t end up well. You started the performance once again and this time you weren’t as excited as you were at first and Jungwon noticed it right away.

As you got down the stage you skipped Jungwon who was looking worriedly at you. He wanted to approach you but you were fast to disappear from his sight. He asked your members where you headed and they told him you wanted to be alone so you went to one of the rooms.

He knocked on the door to let you know he’s coming in and saw you sitting at the corner, hugging your legs with tears in your eyes. He went up to you and hugged you. “I caused the performance to start all over again, i almost broke the camera!” You cried, Jungwon sighed and pat your head slowly, “And what if you did? It’s not the end of the world, and no one can blame you for that, i almost punched Sunghoon because i was so overly excited when i heard the song” He giggled and caused you to laugh, he wiped your tears and kept hugging you and making you laugh until you felt slightly better.

— Riki ♡

You’re always performing live with your mic on so it was already hard for you in the first place. When your part came up you happened to forget the next lyrics and you just blabbered the rest, feeling too embarrassed to continue, you just smiled it away and let the music play.

When you got off stage you saw Riki laughing, you figured he was laughing because of your mistake but it wasn’t so funny to you. His laughs immediately turned into a worry as he saw the tears in your eyes. “Are you okay?” He put his hand on your shoulder, looking at you deeply in your eyes.

He figured alone that it must be because of your small mistake and smiled, “I thought it was cute, your smile was even cuter, it can happen to anyone you know, at least now people know it’s all live” He pat your head and wiped your few tears that fell, “I’m very proud of you, you know” He smiled and pecked your lips.

[shingia]

can i req suna,, akaashi and iwa (and anyone else u want!!) getting jelly abt the s/o hanging out with another guy and being touchy (like the playful smacking or smth) without knowing the guy was their brother? angst to fluff bc i want the ✨ pain ✨ if u dont wanna its fine too,,

thanks bby,, love ur works so much! stay safe and healthy 😫💗

✗ HQ BOYS GETTING JEALOUS OF A GUY WITHOUT KNOWING HE’S YOUR BROTHER ✗

me receiving a request : 🥰 the request including suna :🤩 tysmm bby stay safe and healthy tooo <3

-> suna, iwaizumi, akaashi

-> angst to fluff

-> reblogs help a lot <33

— SUNA

• he hadn’t asked many questions when you told him you couldn’t come over to his house in the afternoon. but now, as he was replaying your snapchat story for the sixth time, he really wished he did

• maybe if he had insisted on coming with you, you wouldn’t have let this guy - that he had never seen, for the record - act so touchy with you

• was it his fault for not making you feel special enough ? to the point that you preferred the company of other men rather than your own boyfriend’s ?

• just the thought of this was enough to make a few of his usually well-hidden insecurities bubble up - most of them due to what his friends always joked about « suna doesn’t care enough to be in a relationship, they’ll all run away after a week ! »

• so yes, suna was hurt, but you didn’t have to see that. your opinion on him was the only one he cared about, he didn’t want to tarnish it. well... your opinion and his little sister’s, who burst into his room as he was about to watch your story for the seventh time to tell him that « someone’s at the door ! »

• not feeling like getting out of bed, it took him a few minutes to drag his feet to the door before finally opening it. and of all the people he could have expected to see, you were the last of them

• « surprise ? » you smiled as you let yourself in, not noticing the surprised look on his face as you greeted him with a tight hug. « i felt bad for cancelling our afternoon together, so i asked my brother to drop me off »

• you weren’t even done talking that suna had already recognized the man in the car that was leaving his driveway. his embrace immediately softened, and a smile crept on his face as he felt all his doubts vanish in a second

• « nuh-uh, don’t take your jacket off beautiful, i’m taking you out », he told you, determined to spoil you in the way he regretted not doing sooner

• at his words, his sister almost magically appeared next to you, coat in hand and ready to go. « you weren’t planning on leaving without me, right ? » she flashed you a toothless grin, grabbing both your hand and his to drag you two outside

• suna shared a deadpanned look with you, « of course not... » you both said in unison as she was already leading the way to her favorite ice cream shop

— IWAIZUMI

• iwa’s trust in you was infinite. but something about the way this guy had his arm playfully wrapped around your shoulders didn’t sit right with him

• his practice had ran late and he was exhausted. but he had promised you he would pop over to the birthday party of your childhood best friend, knowing how much it mattered to you

• but your behavior looked an awful lot like an attempt at making him jealous... and it was working

• was it your way of letting him know that you two weren’t working anymore ? were you just too much of a coward to be clear about it ? he hated to think about you that way. and most of all, he cared about you too much to not step in

• « ok now you got my attention » he told you after pulling you to the side. « if you want to tell me something, go ahead, i’m listening »

• still trapped in the euphoria of the moment, you didn’t really understand how upset he was. but maybe it was for the best, because it allowed you to defuse the tension lightheartedly : « i can’t believe i forgot to introduce you ! » you let out as you dragged him back to where your brother was still standing

• his jaw still clenched, iwa couldn’t even bring himself to shake this stranger’s hand, as friendly as he looked. at least not until you spoke your next words : « he was actually telling me how excited he was to finally met his future brother-in-law ! »

• iwa’s lips slightly parted in confusion, you could almost hear the cogs turning in his head over the music. brother? well that explained a lot of things

• « h-hi, sorry i was... miles away » he apologized before finally shaking the hand your brother was holding out to him

• but once the surprise had passed, another word stuck with him : brother-in-law ? as in « my sibling speaks so highly of you that i’m willing to let you put a ring on their finger even though i have never met you yet » ?

• well, it was good to know that your brother agreed with the plans he’d had for you since day 1...

— AKAASHI

• it was not unusual for akaashi to think that maybe he was not good enough for you. but being actually jealous was a first for him

• he had promised himself to never be too overprotective of you. but the facts were here : it was 3am and the only thing keeping him up was this unknown feeling of pure jealousy

• if he had not been in such a hurry when he witnessed your lighthearted banter and playful fighting with this man in the afternoon, he would’ve come up to you. introduced himself. maybe asked a few questions. if

• suspecting that this unpleasant feeling would not go away unless he talked to you about it, akaashi found himself dialling your number in the middle of the night

• used to his thoughts polluting his mind at unpredictable hours of the day and the night, your ringer was always on. which is why you picked up after only two rings

• « hi angel, i’m sorry to wake you up, i just... » he started, the clarity of his tone letting you know that he had not slept a wink. feeling his hesitation, you were quick to reassure him « it’s ok keiji. what’s going on ? »

• « who were you with ? i mean- this afternoon ? i don’t think i’ve ever met that guy and i was just wondering if... maybe i should ? »

• sitting up straight on your bed, you felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders. if this was the only thing keeping him awake, he should be able to fall asleep in the following minutes. « i was with my brother. but i understand why you were confused, it’s a normal reaction so please don’t blame yourself for that, alright baby ? »

• the gasp you heard on the other end of the line made you chuckle. akaashi’s voice was much less tensed now : « well in that case, yeah i should probably meet him... if you’re ok with that »

• « i’m more than ok with that » you smiled, placing your phone down on your pillow « wanna stay on the phone for a bit ? »

• « that’d be nice », his voice sounded sleepy already, especially above the familiar sound of his covers being pulled up to his chin

— ATSUMU

• how could he put that in words ? he didn’t even know if he was allowed to be jealous because he knew how often you had to see him deal with his many fangirls

• and that was actually what bugged him the most : that he might have already made you feel as shitty as he was feeling now

• but atsumu wasn’t the type to sit down and seriously open up about his feelings. besides, it was much easier to look like a needy boyfriend rather than a vulnerable one

• so he resorted to what he was best at : physical touch as a way to get your attention

• sneaking up behind you, he didn’t give you any warning before wrapping both his arms around your waist and pressing his chest on your back so much that you almost had to bend over

• he really hoped you would be perceptive enough to understand that he wasn’t just being clingy, but in need of a lot of reassurance. and luckily, it was quick to come :

• « tsumu, let me introduce you my brother » you chuckled, understanding how and why he had been mistaken

• one hand still on your waist, he used the other to greet your brother. atsumu did not really seem fazed by the news. of course he was relieved to know that he had nothing to worry about, but this little experience had still been very eye-opening to him

• after your brother had left to give you two some privacy, tsumu’s grip on your waist tightened, but in a softer way

• « ‘m sorry if i ever made ya cry » he let out, completely out of the blue. you didn’t really understand the meaning of this, but it didn’t matter. your hand found its way to his cheek that you brushed lightly with one finger, admiring the how it was slowly turning red. « being jealous sucks... » he added.

• « it does », you approved, giving him a quick peck on the nose. « but there’s nothing and no one that you should worry about, i promise »

• a fond smile lit up his face. you looked sincere, and he really needed to hear that right now. quick as ever, his hands left your waist to come and rest on your cheeks. both holding each other’s faces, you stared at the other for a few seconds, wondering which one of you would give in to a kiss first

TAGLIST : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @kelsuuki @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac @ijustwantfreenetflix @mimaki @maitenight