#i don't want to get attached to a show that won't air for another year. but i think it's too late for that

[mhokday]

FIRST DAY OF MY LIFE • BRIGHT EYES i went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed

for @ardentlytess

[ratcandy]

Actually nevermind being secret about it no I'm just completely demolished over Sindri. And the Huldra brothers in general. I will literally never recover Might just be my tendency to get overly attached to tragic lil men but good lird!

Sindri lost Brok three times!!! Once when he first died, another when they split after their arguments, and then. After being finally reunited, for a good few years, despite Sindri still constantly carrying the weight on his shoulders about Brok's missing soul piece... Brok is killed, right in front of him!! By a guy he was harboring in his house for weeks!!!! And can't be brought back this time!!!!!!!! AND WORSE, Mimir revealing that. without that missing soul piece, Brok doesn't even get an afterlife now. He's just gone. I just keep thinking about that. Horrified. Does Sindri know? Does he know the full extent of what he did by bringing Brok back to life that first time? Did he know, when he initially saved him, that he could be denying Brok any afterlife at all???? Or even that when Sindri himself dies he won't get to reunite with his brother??????

And Sindri was never even given the chance to tell Brok himself about what he did! Brok had to find out on his own!! My man had everything taken from him!!

Augghhdg. And the line from Atreus after Sindri essentially tells him to fuck off after taking away his only family. the fucking. "I thought we were family too." After Atreus refers to him and Brok as his "sort of uncles" earlier in the game. Only to lose both of them in one fell swoop. I hate it here.

The only and I'm talking the ONLY sense of closure this man was allowed to have was dealing the final blow to Odin. And I was so happy for him when he did. While Kratos, Freya and Atreus are passing around the soul like "No, killing him won't make us whole again" and all that nice character growth shit, Sindri just shows up and is like "then I'll fucking do it myself" and I LOVE that for him. Good for you. Fuck yeah

But it also just. It just still hurts the whole time. With Sindri covered in his brother's blood. Not wearing gloves. Not even caring anymore. Disheveled and a mess. Knowing how he was before all this. And how he's been so fucking broken down. I hate it here. I hate it here. I want Sindri back. I want him back how he was before. He was my funny germaphobe uncle who cracked silly jokes and made cool armor/weaponry. I want him back. I want his wholesome relationship with Atreus back. I want Sindri back. I don't like broken, silent, wrathful Sindri. I hate it here.

At the funeral. When Mimir finishes Brok's riddle as Sindri disappears. "A hole." Gets bigger the more you take away from it. I just immediately lost it and started punching the air. It was a metaphor for Sindri himself the whole time as he gradually loses everything he ever had. I hate you. Why would you do that. Who gave you that right. Fuck you

[hassiegfrieddoneanythingwrong]

Sure. I was more angry that the writers are conflict-avoidant when it comes to Kriemhild and passed over not one, but two large, potential character arcs that Siegfried could play a minor part in rather than the only, major part. Only one I easily understood because Byrnhildr is from Sigurd's legend, so she's not the Queen of Iceland and it would be silly to linger on Kriemhild's conflict with her.

Mind you, I'd still like to see an interlude on it, much as I'd like to go over Gudrun and Sigurd, but let's not kid ourselves here. The FGO writers nowadays don't seem like they ever want to bring it up given Sigurd's line on it.

Remember when I said I wanted a Enkidu-like interlude for Kriemhild? In that interlude, Enkidu spared nothing for Ishtar and went straight into catty dialogue with her. There was no delicately dancing around their hostile relationship nor any retcons regarding what was already said before in FGO regarding Ishtar and Enkidu.

Kriemhild, on the other hand, gets two lame excuses that cut off parts of the Nibelungelied she could possibly grow from: Brynhild's conflict with her and the long time she spent with Attila and the Huns.

I wasn't talking about the event entirely as it was a breath of fresh air from the last two events where she spent time with Siegfried. That's expected. No. I was talking about the small part between her and Altera where she said that she couldn't remember her time with Altera and the Huns - which contradicts Byrnhildr saying she smells Siegfried's scent on Altera. Which hints at Altera having spent time with Kriemhild. That little aside soured the rest of the event as it not only confirmed the writers don't want to dedicate time to fleshing out Kriemhild beyond her Fate-only conflict with Siegfried (thanks Higa), but that they're content in using any out to avoid going over Altera's time as Etzel/Attila. Want to know what I wanted when saving a pity for Kriemhild? Character expansions for both Siegfried and Altera on top of Kriemhild herself. Guess I wished on a monkey's paw. I'm now sure her kids with Altera are also retconned out of existence. Not too sure about Gunther II, though.

Oh yeah, want to know the best part? In the same cop-out dialogue, the writer of this event said there's another version of Kriemhild that remembers her time with Altera instead of casting away the memories as not important (even though Kriemhild's tactics in Traum say otherwise). I remember another servant version promised by the writers that never came out: rider Caesar. Yeah, it's been years and he still hasn't shown up. Sorry Cleo. Odds are, that version of Kriemhild won't show up either. And it's been nearly a year since the last batch of interludes too.

So yeah, that's what I meant about her being Siegfried's shipping attachment. It seems the writers only want to focus on their romance part of the Nibelungelied and not go over Kriemhild's personal development as a character herself. One issue I do have when it comes to couples in this game, regardless of who's being shipped.

But I suppose this comes with the territory of loving the character from the source material first before getting their Fate version. You start getting disappointed when the writing doesn't meet what you expect.

Anyways, I hope this explains it. And thanks for not immediately assuming I hate Kriemhild herself just because I have issues with how she's written.

OOOOOOOOOOHHHH, yeah that makes more sense now. As much as I would also love to see more focus on both Kriemhild and Siegfried (especially on the former), as well as possibly for Altera, the sad fact is that it will possibly never happen.

Kriemhild forgetting why she politically married Altera is like as if Artoria forgot why she abandoned her humanity to be a good king, or Gilgamesh seeking out the herb of immortality, or why Yu Mei-ren/Akuta Hinako initially wanting to summon her beloved Xiang Yu. It makes no sense on any level for her to forget it. Perhaps this'll be ignored and actual focus on them if Kriemhild gets an interlude, but I sadly don't have high hopes (or even a medium level of hope).

And for Altera, none of the writers seem to be interested in fleshing her out in FGO. All of them seem content enough that everything interesting about her is just locked behind another game. Like, her second interlude is the only one that's actually about anything while her first and third interludes are more vague memories before and after she became the leader of the Huns. There's a small (and I mean small) possibility that there probably could be an Extella collab at some point in the future, with a guest writer who is really damn passionate about the character(s) similar to what happened with Samurai Remnant, but again I wouldn't hope for it.

TLDR the only way to deal with the giant, tangled, unfocused mess that is the situation between Siegfried, Kriemhild, Altera and potentially anyone else is to Cope™️.

Or write fix-it fics, either way.

[suratan-zir]

personal life update, because I know some of you guys have been worrying due to me not posting anything in a while (this is not sims content again, I'm sorry)

in short: I'm fine, I'm alive, just depressed

very long pathetic rant about rats. Seriously, it's about rats and pretty much nothing else.

So…a month ago, my boy Kamysh died unexpectedly. This is the last video of him.

When I say unexpectedly - I really mean it. He was 2 years old, which is the average life expectancy for a fancy rat, but he was very active, energetic and happy little guy, stealing my food and trashing my clothes until his last day. I had some suspicions of a brain tumor, because his vision has deteriorated significantly, but I wanted to believe it was only due to him getting older. Other than that, he showed no signs of illness. Besides, he was neutered, which reduces the risk of pituitary tumor that older rats are prone to. Then one morning I saw him "sleeping" in a hammock, I didn't disturb him for a while, but he slept for a suspiciously long time, so I touched him and he was cold. He probably passed away in his sleep without waking up. His little hands weren't clenched into fists, he was in a typical sleeping position. So at least he wasn't in pain when it happened.

But this is the third rat death since February. Since the invasion started. Moreover, Kamysh was the last rat I was really attached to. The last thing I had left from my Bambook (my heart rat, it's a term rat keepers have for the one rat from the group that you have the closest connection with), because I got Kamysh specifically to be Bambook's companion (it's a really long story that nobody's got time for). Of course, I love my two remaining boys, Izyum and Bergamot. Just as I would love any other rat. But we don't have a very strong bond with them, they have always been more reserved and independent, they don't actively seek out my company and I respect their space.

After this third death, I finally snapped. In a way, I was left alone and empty, without that one thing that keeps me going and cheers me up even in these difficult war times. I know it sounds pathetic, many people have lost their homes or entire families. I know that objectively I'm fine. I'm the lucky one. But alas, my depression doesn't care, it doesn't listen to the voice of reason.

I swore to myself for the thousandth time to never get another rat again. Losing them doesn't get easier, in fact, it feels harder every time. After loosing Bambook this spring, I tried to get more into my hobbies. I started crocheting again. I learned to ride a bike and got a few new scars on my knees. I tried playing new games, which I honestly never do. But it all results the same, with me laying in bed facing the wall for hours on end. My husband was also against new rats because he can't see me grieving again and again. But then, after seeing me in a broken state for several weeks, suddenly he changed his mind and began to beg me to take new rats, the more the better. I resisted this temptation, I tried to be reasonable. And guess what? This evening, we are getting 5 new rat boys. We bought a nice huge cage, which I have long wanted, I really hope that Bergamot won't be too big of an asshole to the little ones (as he tends to be...), and they will get along. I'm very nervous and excited. I guess you can't expect any new sims content from me for a while.

About the war: it's been quiet for the last few weeks, at least where I live. Very few air raids until yesterday (now it's worse). A few downed missiles here and there. But in the Donbas, in Kharkiv and Mykolaiv, it's hell every day. I don't post about it not because I have nothing to say, quite the opposite. There are so many things I want to say that it's better not to start or I won't be able to stop. Nothing matters anyway.

Thank you for listening. Hope you are all well and safe 💛

[julianottheastrologer]

Astro Observation #Some number

Disclaimer: Is a bunch of observations, my observations, if if it doesn't apply to you and you want to comment, that's fine, but do it consistently. My observations is not to apply to everyone.

People with 3H in water sign sings in the bath

Virgo Uranus culture is if you're crying with joy or sadness it doesn't matter, what matters is washing the dishes

Having college is a mandatory practice after the generation Sag Pluto

People with South Node in 2H hate to listen to their audios/voice

People with South Node in 2H have a cat like eye

North Node is were you like to have big things in the most easier way, ex: NN in 2H want to be rich but not work on something daily, NN in 8H wants they spirituality to develop as soon as they start

People with Sun Aries cry with rage

You can give me all the reasons why a Sun in Taurus would be happier doing this than that, but it won't agree.

You know that person who talks to everyone in your work? Gemini

The sign with the most assassins? Cancer

The sign that has the most senior leadership position, such as president? Scorpio

Having a scorpio boss can be very problematic if you don't realize it first. If you are someone good at work it loves you and protects you, but if you do something it doesn't like it may very well find a way to screw you up

Zodiac means "circle of animals"

The astrological new year starts in March along with the Aries season

When astrology emerged, the first sign was Taurus

Usually Aries has some kind of scar... fights, surgeries, it doesn't matter.

People born on the same day can be of different signs

Taurus people are the one who are likely to have higher salaries. While Capricorn and Aquarius are the smallest, maybe is time to them work less and ask for their rights better, as the two always feel like they're not doing enough

Cancer people can have a lot of enmities at work

That person who likes to talk about sex in the workplace? Scorpio and Sagittarius

People with North Node in the eighth house can have a lot of difficulty with their spouse's parents

Pluto dominant can be that chic person as well as that person who is only happy in chaos and if it is the center of attention

Getting a Saturn/Pluto dominant to talk about what it their problems is a heavy work. They can, but if they trust you too much and if they have already started to resolve the emotional problem that the situation brings to speak to you in the best possible way.

In the same way that Venus Dominant can be very blessed and liked by people, they can be persecuted and harmed, especially if they have an Aries placement

Your mother will always see you by your moon sign

People with moon in cancer or air sign can create a unique language with their own mother, even after adult

The DC (7H) is the type of ascendant you are attracted to and not Sun. Ex: Cancer DC is attracted to people who are more closed and discreet with the majority but when you know them more, they are caring and sincere.

People with Moon in 6H can be more attached to their pet than their mother.

You may be reading your map wrong. Take some time and watch it, some planets will make more sense in another house. This is due to the whole signs system. For example, I don't read anything from my Moon in the fifth house, but I always jump to the sixth house, because even on the map it's at 5H, it's at my sixth sign, that is, 6H.

I see people getting along better with people who have the sun in the same house.

In addition to decans, signs can show themselves in two very extreme ways. Those who accept the gifts of the planets and those who rebel, as if they didn't want to bond with their parents. Ex: There are Capricorn who don't like to work and actually have no career or future ambitions.

Virgo and Gemini are communicative, but please communication is not just talking to someone face to face or on the phone. They can write, draw, sing, make any kind of art, what matters is sending a message.

Created by @madamsaturn

Instagram / Tip Jar

[disaster-j]

I came across an article from Celebestopnews on 21 March about Off allegedly confirming his relationship with Gun. On another platform (otakuart) another article appeared a day later talking about the same video and also confirming that they are dating. Now I don't speak Thai, so I have no idea what is said in the video that was attached to the first article, and I have at least sometimes the ability to be a bit critical of sources, so I don't think there is any truth in the articles - especially as I suspect the internet would have gone crazy if that were the case. But I would still be interested: Do you know more?

Thanks for having such a great blog!

Ugh yeah I have unbiased info.

Preface this by saying Off has leaned into the whole "offgun dating" rumours by making jokes about it for years now. It's basically a given that nothing they say about this stuff outside of an actual, official press conference should be taken seriously as confirmation of anythings whatsoever.

So here's what happened. Back in early 2020 (I think) OffGun were asked for the millionth time by an interviewer if they were dating/had ever wanted to date. They replied by explaining that their relationship is such that they already do many things that people who are dating would do for each other but that despite their closeness they've never actually said they wanted to date or should date. They left the possibility that it could happen someday open. Having seen that interview a couple times I can say that their response seemed to be a way for them to explain that they get that they have an unconventional relationship but it was not one where they were romantically linked. Although they weren't averse to the idea of someday ending up together, that was just not what they wanted from each other at the time. Now, people might say this is them doing fanservice or just saying it to fuel shipping delusions but to me they seemed pretty serious and genuine, like that really is just how they saw their relationship. They could date but they didn't feel any need to.

Flash forward to 21st March when OffGun were chatting with fans on video call and a fan brought up what they'd said then, asking if they were now ready to say they were dating. Off replied to this by saying something along the lines of "yes call a press conference I'll say it now" and then proceeding to give Gun a very exaggerated sniff kiss. Watching the clip it was very clear to me they were both just messing around because Off's tone was pretty playful and sarcastic, not serious at all, and they both laughed after.

As people who have both kept their dating lives extremely private over the span of their careers, even before the ship, it should be obvious that were they actually dating they would not joke around like this. They'd likely never actually announce it and if they did it would be a very clear announcement with official notices by their company backing it up because their status in the industry sadly would warrant that. I'm not quite sure why the joke was blown so out of proportion by the fandom, maybe it was a mix of a couple of things? OffGun have gotten closer than ever in the past year while becoming more and more private with a lot of their interactions. They use far more personal and affectionate pronouns for each other, they hang out all the time without posting about it or making it public. All this makes the fans think their relationship has changed into something even deeper than it was before. All of this happening as their possible last BL show with them as the mains airing is enough to stir the pot of rumours.

I won't say that it's impossible that they could be dating or could date in the future, simply because it isn't. But I will say that counting the joke as an announcement of their relationship is quite an odd thing to do. Especially for a fandom that has so far been quite respectful of the artists' boundaries. It feels invasive and unnecessary for fans to demand a label or more transparency from OffGun when their dating lives should never be any of our business. We should be able to just appreciate their wholesome relationship without needing to make it all about whether it's "real" or not. A label does not define whether or not two people genuinely love and care for each other.

Hope that helps clear things up!

P.S.- I would generally add links to the clips I mention but I'm currently waiting for a meeting and don't wanna risk opening videos rn xD but they can be found with subs on yt or twitter if you do a quick search

[captainstiddies]

Little One ; Lawyer! Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader

a/n: this is my first time in like years posting smut so be gentle lol, but massive thank you to @illumisbundles for being my test dummy and helping with the title and everything love u!!

universe: modern, lawyer! Levi

pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT MINORS DON'T INTERACT LIKE AT ALL, jealous!Levi, edging, dacryphilia, slight overstim, daddy kink, dom!Levi

Levi was always incredibly formal, always a firm handshake and a cordial nod at these types of events. He always had a firm hand on your back leading you through the crowds of people at the annual gala. He was already so stand-offish on the day to day but having to be surrounded by every single one of his rich clients whose only problem was picking which summer home to visit this year was headache-inducing. Having you by his side, however, made it so much more manageable. The way you could navigate any conversation with a graceful smile while always finding a quick way out, made these events much more pleasing for the lawyer.

He tapped your back twice signalling silently that he was going to get a refill on drinks and you nodded pressing a kiss against his temple as he walked towards the bar. Leaving you standing at a small table by yourself, it wasn't long until one of his interns had approached you sparking up a lively conversation. At first, it wasn't a big deal you learned his name was Eren Yaeger and it was his first gala and he at first just seemed nervous until you could tell he started leaning in a little closer, complimenting your 'form'. And when you met eyes with your boyfriend across the room you could see him seething.

Even with how logical Levi was he couldn't help how jealous he became whenever he saw someone flirting with you. Especially when they were almost a good foot taller than him and still taller than you in your heels. He stalked back towards you and by the time Eren even noticed you weren't interested Levi was beside you again this time his hand was gripping your waist, bunching the fabric of your dress. "Yaeger, don't you have better things to do than annoy her?" His stern voice could've made Eren shit in his pants if he hadn't rented the tux, so he almost ran away from the table.

Turning towards Levi you went to speak but instead, you were met with that look in his eyes that already had heat pooling between your legs. "Downstairs, get the car I'll be down in five minutes." With that, he kisses your cheek walking to Erwin to make some excuse that you both have to leave, and without a second thought, you gather your coat and clutch and head towards the elevator.

Your crossed legs bounced as you waited in the backseat of the car, the driver simply smoking as he leant against the wall. You on the other hand couldn't seem to relax knowing exactly what punishment you were going to be given. When the driver swung open his door you jolted upright and less than a second later Levi slid into the seat beside you adjusting his jacket and tapping on the divider signalling to the chauffer to leave. For most of the ride Levi's silent, his hand placed firmly on your thigh squeezing just enough to remind you what you were in for when you got home.

The minute Levi let you into your condo he pulled you into a searing kiss, his hands gripping your hair before he pushes you against the wall. "Levi..." His glare silences you before you can continue before picking you up by your thighs, instinctively causing your legs to wrap around his waist. Levi's lips attach to the soft skin of your neck, sucking and biting harshly intent on leaving marks in his wake. He carried you to your bedroom before letting you fall onto the sheets and Levi had to admit he loved seeing you like this, dress up over your hips, lipstick smudged across your mouth, your heaving chest showcasing the already developing array of reds and purples marks along your neck.

His hands came to run along the skin of your thighs as he sighed. "Oh angel, do you know how much Yaeger truly angers me? He acts like everything belongs to him, and you played right into that didn't ya?" His eyebrow cocked as he looked down at you but all you could focus on was the feeling of his index finger ghosting over your clothed pussy. "Answer me." His command is followed by a swift slap to the outside of your thigh, watching as the skin jiggled. "No! No, I swear Daddy." He tsked at your pathetic plea before finally rubbing against your clit through your panties eliciting a moan to fall from your lips. "Little one, don't lie, I know exactly what you did, you showed him just how low cut that dress was, you let him think he could have you but no. You're mine." Pushing your panties to the side he slid his fingers into your already slick core, curling against the spongey spot inside of you. Setting an intense pace he leaned over you.

"Say it, don't make me ask twice angel." Levi's hot breath against your ear sent a shiver down your spine. "I'm yours, all yours, please I'm all yours-Please." You begged a hand going to his shoulder to steady yourself as the heel of his hand hit against your clit eliciting a lewd moan to leave your lips. Levi snickered as he lowered to his knees. "Use your words little one." He knew you like the back of his hand he knew from the minute he entered the car he knew he had you all riled up the way each time he squeezed your thigh a little harder and you would jump. Now even with his fingers knuckle deep inside you he could read you like a book the way you rolled your hips at each curl of his fingers or the shiver and whine that came from him blowing cool air against your skin.

"I want your mouth, hnn Daddy please i-I'll be good I promise." Your voice hitched as he pulled his fingers from inside you, a whine leaving you as Levi hooked his fingers into the band of your panties pulling them down and throwing them over his shoulder the smirk never left his lips nor did his eyes ever leave yours as he lowered his mouth to your now soaked pussy. He blew cold air against your clit causing you to jolt and whine out for him a hand going to his hair before Levi grabbed your wrist. "Hands above your head angel, one-touch and you won't cum for the rest of the fucking week." You did what you were told and when he was satisfied he sucked your clit into his mouth causing a loud moan to leave your lips gripping tightly at the sheets above your head, back arching as he continued his assault on your clit.

Levi slid his fingers back into your aching core curling up against your g-spot. You were getting close and he could tell from the way you clenched around his fingers at each thrust and from how desperately you were clinging onto the sheets trying to be his good girl."'M so close daddy- Fuck! So close so fucking close, please!" Sadly, your cries fell on deaf ears as you felt the knot tighten in your stomach until Levi pulled away completely. "Bad girls don't get to cum."

Levi continued his attack on your pussy bring you to the edge over and over again until you were crying for him to just fuck you. You were a blubbering mess when he finally rose from his knees, from where he was standing he towered over you, was able to look over your naked form. The dress had been discarded almost ten minutes ago your body was twitching and shaking from the sheer amount of times your orgasm had been ruined. Levi wiped your slick from his chin as he watched you pant. Your eyes glazed over with tears as he undid his belt and pulled his pants and boxers off. Levi slowly worked his hand along his cock, precum already slowly spilling from the swollen tip. Grabbing you from beneath your knees he pushed your legs against your chest, exposing your spasming pussy to him.

He pushed himself into your tight walls, a low groan came from his chest as he bottomed out. "Still so fucking tight angel, so fucking perfect." He started his pace slow and deep rolling his hips against yours every time, hitting your cervix with each roll. It didn't take long for that knot to tighten again inside you, Levi's lips met yours in a bruising kiss, you could still taste yourself on his tongue causing an almost pornographic moan to leave you. The second his free hand came to your clit rubbing hard and fast circles your hands flew to his shoulders. "Please, oh god! Please 'm gonna cum!" This time however he didn't pull away instead he moved his lips to your shoulder biting against the soft skin. A scream ripped through you as the white-hot of your orgasm moved through your body.

Watching you come undone just drove Levi crazy, his thrusts turned erratic as he came closer and closer to his own edge his fingers never stopping as he made you jolt from the overstimulation "No, no daddy, I can't." Your cries were masked by the absolutely lewd sounds coming from your pussy as Levi pistoned into you. "You've been begging to-fuck cum for an hour angel, Jesus Christ can't take another one?" his head fell forward resting his forehead against yours as he pressed further against your legs with his chest his free hand came to your neck squeezing it as he watched you cry from pleasure, the orgasm almost catching you by surprise. You clawed at his back as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you.

Levi snapped his hips into you one more time as he let out a low groan quickly followed by thick hot spurts of cum. Pulling out he watched as a mixture of yours and his cum dripped from your fluttering and gaping hole. He was tempted to finger it back into you, maybe if you got pregnant no one would ever act as if you were free to be picked up like a common whore. His eyes scanned up your body and landed on your tear-streaked face. "Little one, look at me... c'mon open those pretty eyes." He cupped your cheek, thumb brushing against the damp skin of your cheekbone. Slowly you opened your eyes a hand coming to rest on his. "There's my pretty girl." He cooed softly as he kissed your forehead. Standing up he went to the ensuite damping a towel for your face and another to clean you up. Pulling on a clean pair of boxers he sat beside you running the cool cloth against your skin cleaning you as best he could until your shower in the morning.

Once you were situated under the covers he pulled you into his side, pressing soft kisses along your hairline, rubbing gentle circles along your spine. "You were so good for me little one, I love you so much don't forget it ever, please." His voice was soft as he whispered against your skin. Sleepily you nodded, your body was still sore and would probably be tenfold in the morning. "Levi...I love you too, 'm not gonna leave you for some stupid intern, you know that right?" It was his turn to nod, reaching over to turn off the table lamp. "I know angel, sleep now. You need to rest."

[youbloodymadgenius]

Nunky! (Modern!Ivar x reader - Modern!Ivar x OCs niece and nephew)

A/N: This is my entry to @flowers-in-your-hayr 650 Followers Celebration 🎉 Congrats again, love 🌸 And thanks for this amazing moodboard 😍

I'm awfully late, sorry about that. The truth is, do you know what it is to struggle? Let me tell you: there were three other drafts before this final version. More than 4000 words... All trashed...

Anyway, I'm quite happy with this one, that's all that matters.

@geekandbooknerd, thanks for beta reading this for me 🌺

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Summary: Ever wonder what kind of uncle Ivar would be? Let me show you 😉

Warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff 🙈

Words: 1978

"We're going to play Pete the Cat or Sneaky Snacky Squirrel Game, you in?" He shouts at you from the deck.

Lazily lying on a sunbed in the shade of an oak, you don't bother opening your eyes. As much as you love board games, there's no way you're leaving this perfect spot. Not yet, and certainly not for the next two hours.

"No, I'm good." You shake your head for emphasis, even if you're not sure he can see you.

"Okay lovebug, see you later," he says tenderly before changing his tone, "All right kiddos, get ready to lose!"

You let out a chuckle as Viola and Soren, feeling offended, express loudly their discontent. And you can't help but laugh. You know he's going to let them win anyway. He may be a sore loser who hates to lose and would do anything to win, whether in business or in a game, but things are different when it comes to his niece and nephew. That's just how much he loves them.

Your multi-faceted lover…

To the world, he is Ivar Ragnarsson, the crippled son – and true heir – of the mighty Ragnar Lothbrok, and, till last year – till you – Scandinavia's richest and most eligible bachelor, and all this in spite of his legs.

To his employees and business partners, he's an arrogant, cranky, demanding, cold-hearted, smart as hell, and very successful business tycoon. Oh, if they could see him right now, they wouldn't believe their eyes. No dress shirt, no suit pants, no blazer. With a backwards baseball cap, a basic black tee-shirt and stonewashed jeans, he looks more like a boy than a crafty businessman.

To you, he's the man you've been in love with for eight months; a complex human being, for sure, full of contradictions: so self-confident and yet in some ways so self-conscious; outwardly tough but at times so incredibly vulnerable. You won't lie, he can be infuriating; he's stubborn, strong-headed and short tempered. But he's awfully clever, deadpan and… well... devastatingly handsome, with his impossibly beautiful features and his otherworldly icy blue eyes. He's a fantastic lover too, unexpectedly caring and attentive, loyal and faithful.

To Viola and Soren, his favorite brother's children, he's Uncle Ivar – or Nunky, as Viola calls him – the best uncle ever, funny and mischievous, loving and supportive. He's always ready to go out of his way to teach them all the cool stuff kids are supposed to know; silly jokes, riddles and magic tricks. He's their favorite babysitter, the one who is completely devoted to them, the one who feeds them ice cream and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, before reminding them conspiratorially, with a finger on his lips: "You know the deal, sweet peas! Not a word to your mom."

You remember as if it were yesterday your first meeting with them.

Soren, chocolate all over his face, greets you with a big smile, immediately asking you if you want to play hide-and-seek with them. On the other hand, Viola looks at you from head to toe, scrutinizing you intensely. With her lips pursed and her brows creased, she doesn't seem very pleased, to say the least. The seconds tick by and finally, placing her tiny hands on her hips, the little girl takes a deep breath. "I don't want to play with her. I don't like her." The hostility in her tone can't be missed.

Speechless, you look at Viola with wide open eyes. You usually have a way with kids and are honestly a little stunned by such an unfriendly welcome.

"Viola, please…" Ivar grumbles, rolling his eyes, but he doesn't have time to say another word. "No, Nunky! You told me she was your lover!" Ah, now you're beginning to see her problem, and it brings a small smile on your lips.

Viola points an accusing finger towards you. "Are you Nunky's lover?"

You nod playfully but Viola doesn't seem the least bit amused. "That's why I don't like you. And just so you know, you may be Nunky's lover now, but I'm going to marry him. I just have to wait a little," she frowns, thoroughly concentrated, "I need to be a little older, maybe like… that," she stretches out the fingers of both hands in front of her, "but Nunky is going to marry me. Me, not you. So, you might as well leave right now."

You struggle to hold back your laughter, aware that this is a very serious matter for her.

"Come here, baby girl." Rubbing a hand over his face, Ivar pats his knees and then helps his niece as she climbs onto his lap. "We've talked about this, little bird, remember? We're not getting married, not in ten years, not ever." He speaks so softly, and there's so much love in his eyes, you feel like you're melting.

"But, I lo–" Viola interjects with a pout, but Ivar stops her, shaking his head. "There's no buts, baby love. Uncles do not marry nieces. That's the way it is and that's how it must be. And yes," he looks at you fondly, "Y/N is my lover. But it doesn't change anything. I'm not going anywhere, Viola. I'll always be in your life. I love you." He gently ruffles Soren's hair. "I love you both. You have no idea how much I love you."

You must have dozed off and are awakened by Viola high-pitched squeals of joy. "Oh yeah, let's go into the backyard." Hmph! Looks like you're going to have company. Bye bye peacefulness.

Well, so be it.

Yawning, you stretch like a cat before sitting up. Ivar and the kids are on the deck and you wave at them. Soren casts you a broad smile and takes two steps towards the backyard but Viola stops him.

"Wait, Soren! Nunky," you don't need to see her to know that she's blinking her big, beautiful blue eyes at Ivar, "please, we are tired. Right Soren?"

Viola's brother nods tentatively as Ivar bursts out laughing. "Is that so, munchkin?" Putting on a thinking face, he stares blanky up in the air for a second or two, tapping a forefinger on his chin. "Let me guess, you want a ride, baby girl? Soren, buddy boy, would you mind fetching the princess's carriage for me, please?"

At this point, you know exactly what is going to happen, yet it never ceases to amaze you. And as sure as the sun rises from the east, the next moment Soren is pushing a wheelchair in front of him, coming to a halt next to his uncle. Ivar immediately sits down, slipping his crutch into the intended holder attached to the backrest.

Reaching out, he now gently grabs Viola's wrist. "Your carriage awaits, princess." The little girl climbs very carefully onto his lap before wrapping her chubby arms around his neck.

Ivar pulls her closer, "Hold tight, princess!" and as soon as he's sure she's securely seated, he grabs his push rims and pops a wheelie, Viola bursting with laughter. He then looks at Soren, cracking him a smile. "I'll give you a ride too, bumblebee, stay put."

Soren, older than Viola and always overprotective when it comes to his beloved uncle, frowns, concern all over his boyish face. "You sure I'm not too heavy now? I'm over fifty-five pounds, you know?"

Ivar laughs, an easy smile on his plump lips. "Don't worry, I'll be just fine." A smile tugging up the corner of his mouth and Viola giggling on his lap, he rolls towards the wide wooden ramp leading to the backyard.

Ivar hates using his wheelchair. He despises it. He's very secretive about it. The truth is, it took him two months to tell you that he sometimes needed one and another two months to actually use it in front of you.

He hates it so much that he would rather crawl than use it. Actually, that's what he does every night, after taking off his leg braces.

Yet, he keeps his old wheelchair here, at his brother's house. For recreational purposes only; or in other words for Viola's and Soren's enjoyment. And he gives them rides, up and down the ramp, sometimes for hours, popping wheelies here and there. Because Viola and Soren love that and it makes them laugh. Because he would do everything and anything to make them happy.

That's just how much he loves them.

Ivar pulls a sunbed next to you and flops down on it, stifling a hiss of pain. "Where are the kids?" Raising yourself up on one elbow, you kiss him, your free hand gently stroking the tight muscles of his right thigh.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he kisses you back. "Gathering the things they want to take to the beach."

You want to give him a disapproving look, but you won't. You know better. You know him.

He shouldn't go to the beach. Not today. He woke up in pain this morning. Walking in the sand is a struggle even on good days. He'll pay for it later. You know he knows it. And you know he'll do it no matter what, and whatever it takes.

Because that, he can do.

Sometimes, you catch a hint of sadness in his eyes. When Soren and Viola are running and he can't run after them, because running is simply not an option for him. When they are jumping on the trampoline and he can't join them, because it would end with broken bones. When they are playing football, or riding a bike, or skating. When they are tree climbing, or playing gunny sack race, or rock climbing, or playing hopscotch, or skipping rope, or dancing, or…

But walking in the sand, even if not easy, that, he can do.

He's going to struggle all the way – wincing, hissing, silently swearing, even dragging his right leg with his hand if necessary – until they reach their favorite spot, a small cove shielded from the wind, with marvelous pebbles and smooth sand. And he will sit for hours, his legs aching, making sandcastles even though, even as a child, he didn't like that. Because it doesn't matter. Because Soren and Viola matter. And the sparkle in their eyes will bring a smile to his face. Their laughter will make it all worthwhile.

Yeah, this is what he's going to do, for Soren's and Viola's happiness. And you know there's nothing you can say or do that is going to change his mind.

That's just how much he loves them.

⚔️"What are you thinking about, love?" Ivar's soft voice pulls you out of your thoughts as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

"I was thinking what a fantastic uncle you are." You reply genuinely, your thumb grazing his cheek. "And what a fantastic father you will be one day. The father of our kids."

Ivar blinks several times. You know that no matter how many times you tell him, he still finds it hard to believe that you want to make a life with him; marry him; carry his children.

"This…" His voice trembles and he lowers his gaze, "this is really what you want?"

"Of course, it is, my love." You reassure him for the thousandth time, peppering his jaw with light kisses. "Negotiations with Viola will doubtless be tough, though…" You chuckle, your fingers threading through his hair as he nods. "But let me tell you a secret," you can feel his hot breath on your ear, "you've already won, love." He offers you a breathtaking, mind-blowing smile and then his mouth finds yours and he kisses you and it feels like you're alone in the world, nothing matters but your shared love, nothing exists but him, nothing counts anymore, nothing, nothing, nothing...

"NUNKYYYYY!!!!"

Well… You may have spoken too soon…

🛡⚔️🛡

@flowers-in-your-hayr @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @waiting4inspiration @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @a-mess-of-fandoms @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @ivarthebloodyking @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @pieces-by-me @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood

[kazuhasbunny]

Giiiirl, imagine you are on Baal's side, you are a general and commanding an army against the rebels' own general, Gorou.

You are all cocky and confident, your years of experience just keeping you aware enough so you won't be consumed by your pride. But oh, your face, when after all of those carefully thought out strategies and intensive training, you end up losing to that mutt.

He is insufferable. Even though his face and body is caked in a mixture only war can give-- blood, sweat and dirt, his smile is the biggest, smuggest thing you have ever seen in your life as a warrior. It does not help that you are on your knees, back stretching forward as the grip he has on your jaw tugs you up with such a force you won't ever believe an archer, a long distance fighter, would posses. The bodies of both sides lay scattered on the defiled land, but the purple spots decorate the most, as his last men stand straight and proud behind him, just as yours do, but the lack the attentiveness. Their tired and bored countenance ticks you in a wrong way. Why they don't look happy by this result?

Does your failure was already predicted? As if this end was something that was already calculated. Taken in account.

The man holding your jaw in a bruising grip let go of you, a mere blink of respite as the next second your left cheek explodes in pain, your vision swaggers for a second as you fall on your right side from the streght of that blow. You shut your eyes and concentrate on your breathing; the fight left you completely drained, as much as your brain screamed at you to stand up and attack that man, your bones and muscles protested as you tensed in hopes of getting up, but ultimately you only made yourself look pitiful.

Gorou turns to were his men are, his gaze lingering for a second on your laughable attempt. His focus switches to the army as he starts to pace from one side to the other, the victory was already decided, but the energy from the feat itself brought a surge of emotions within him.

Another quick glance at you, and something on his mind switched. He was wondering what to do with you; killing you off felt as a meaningless action, as the Shogun won't care for someone as low as yourself. You only were deployed to fight against them to gain time for the real force, to prepare and learn how strong the rebels actually are. With how confident you looked hours ago, it seems that your benevolent Shogun forgot to grace you with such knowledge before sending you off with a bunch of newly trainees.

"First of all, congratulations, my friends, for this well earned victory" Gorou began. The group of men on front of him quickly acknowledge his words, paying attention to what he had to say.

"Even if the outcome resulted as to what we--" He turns around, your eyes opened when he began speaking. You both made eye contact, and Gorou's smirk transformed into a full smile. Was it okay for him to fill such giddiness at the sight of your equally wounded pride and body? After all, he was the one to bring you into that state, he was the one to put you in your rightful place with just one arrow, kneeling on the dirty battlefield as the geo power incased on the arrowhead did its job in petrify you.

The glint of defeat on, dare he say, those gorgeous eyes of yours really made them stand out. Actually, as he approaches your form, he's starting to see some other appealing features he couldn't notice from a longer distance. What was the Shogun thinking, in even allowing you a spot within her number when you clearly weren't made for war?

"--Expected" his pause brought your attention to what he was actually saying. So they had all of this calculated...

"But now, all that is left to do, is tend to the wounded and take care of the dead. Yours and their sacrifice will bring an end to this stupid decree in no time. We need to prepare for tougher, real..." He gives you a glance "...battles from now on. Don't let this win get in your head"

The crowd quietly cheers between them, some of them patting each other on the shoulder for a job well done. All of that camaraderie made your stomach hollow, as you recognise the same speech you have told to your former men after a battle well fought. Those piercing blue eyes of his made you painfully aware of the consecutive part of giving a victory speech, about what is waiting for the losing side, the pit in your stomach grew in size and you really wished that it could swallow you whole before the man in front of you does.

Gorou thrills in your despair. That pretty face of yours plunging into dark dephts, your mind weaving one horrifying destiny after other speaks a lot of your character, as only those who have layed a cruel end to those before them can conceive. He knows what kind of thoughts those are, but as much of a monster as you are viewing him now, he won't do such a thing. He was quite merciful while deciding what your fate will be, even if he didn't pondered a lot in the few minutes after your fall, you are but only a child with a weapon, sent to die by that horrible woman.

And something he prides himself of, is learning from mistakes. He won't throw away something that can fulfill very well other duties than warfare ones.

"Sir! If I may--" a voice spoke between the masses of helms and spears.

"I know, I know. The general" Gorou waves off his hand, his eyes never stranding away from your form for far too long.

A groan escapes your body as his foot steps on your ribcage, not too hard but your weak body sense as if he had nails attached to the sole, your skin felt cold and as if it was being prickled by a ton of needles. He pushes your your body with a gentleness unexpected from an enemy, until you were lying on your back. The new position put pressure in the arrow wound on your right/left shoulder, your dominant arm, and for a second you were grateful of the rigidness granted by the geo element yet covering half of your arm or else you are sure you would have cried in pain, the last thing you want now is to show more weakness that what you are displaying.

"What I am going to do with her... I didn't know myself when we first begun this battle" Gorou continued. He removed his shoe from your chest to your side on the floor, so you'll be cage between his legs while he looks down on you. His arms crossed across his chest and he tilted his head to the side, as in assessing you, taking on your face just as covered in grime as his but not diminish your beauty in the slightest. He really made a good decision in regard of your fate.

The soldiers stood still, the atmosphere felt heavy like the air on a hot summer afternoon that feels stuffy on your lungs as your breath in. Their general had an unseen aura surrounding him, his usual careless actitud makes everyone forget that there's an animal side to him, although they aren't sure they will presence it for the first time, their captain is definitely switching towards that side... they even feel a little bit of pity for the woman under him.

"But as I see her like this, beaten, it makes me remember something of old, that the victorous usually sow. Can you guys guess what it is?" He squats over you, sweetly combing a couple of strands of hair out of your face.

Whispers break among the army after the question. One of them raised his hand, no barely 18 years old as he was one of the shortest in comparison to his bigger and wider shouldered comrades. The young recruit promptly lowered his arm as the general wasn't looking at their direction but that didn't stopped him from answering, eyes shining with excitement:

"They take something as a token of their victory, sir!"

Gorou hummed in affirmation. "Yes, they did. A spoil of war, if you may"

Dread washed over you. He wasn't going to kill you, as a way to demonstrate their superiority? To be taken as a trophy, a possession... He surely won't mean that, right? They are going to torture you and extract every drop of information that you have, until the last thing left in you is blood to shed on their hands as your usefulness is cut short like your troath.

You needed to say something. Anything, as long as it would arise anger within the young male, anything as long as you aren't degrade far from what you have been.

Gorou raised his eyebrows as you coughed. He wasn't expecting a monologue from you but neither silence. Your sudden wish of speaking made the men jump into action, their spears pointing at you with such terrifying speed made you realise furthermore that this battle was destined to end like this, another stripe to the tiger just like a new blow to your pride.

"Just kill me already. I won't say anything, and if given the opportunity, I will end it myself" you spat. You tried to transmit all of your pain, hate and shame in one stare, you won't go happy until you make that man see what you feel, how big your abhorrence is to his being.

All the males stare in silence, until the general himself chuckled. Your cheeks burn with rage, your teeth clenched together as you tried yo surf this flare of emotions. How dare he laugh like that! He already won and you won't speak a thing about the Shogun, why acting like that? Isn't the rebels supposed to act with nobility and fairness?

Gorou took a breath in. He's happy he didn't went for the traditional route and killed you.

"Aw, now you just proved me correct, sweetheart. I'll enjoy making you into a proper wife"

All of that just to say "Imagine being taken as Gorou's prize and he makes you his whore wife" LMAO

(Also? In the part that reader coughs? I wanted to put that Gorou spits on your lips because you looked thirsty AODJFJDC)

THIS 🙏 yes i’d love to be gorou’s housewife he should really take me in and train me to obey him . please i’d do anything for him

AND pleasee omg ... if u actually put that in i’d die on my chair it’s too hot i can’t hjnhnggrh

[wasabito]

thank you to @sparkexplosive and @vs-redemption for beta reading it for me! merry christmas & happy holidays everyone ♥️

➽ synopsis: being a member of the royal guard is a grueling and thankless job, so you decide to remind katsuki a little of what it’s like to be young again—what better way to do that than with some healthy competition.

➽ word count: 1.7k

➽ tags: fluff, budding romance, royalty au, childhood friends

➽ author’s note: i had a ton of fun participating in my first ever secret santa!! this is my gift-fic to the lovely @katsushimaa​ hope you enjoy, yssa!

"So, this is where the hell you've been hiding?"

His voice tore through the midday stillness like a blade, equal parts raspy and gruff. He sounded irritated and mildly fatigued. Not that Katsuki Bakugou would ever admit to being anything less than a hundred and ten percent. He climbed off his steed, heavy boots crunching under the weight of his feet, and secured his horse against the stump you were leaning on.

You flipped the page of your book, not sparing the man even a cursory glance. You would prefer to keep your attention occupied by fictitious worlds, warriors, and battles fought in the name of love and justice.

It was much easier to allow yourself to become the bearer of fictional hardships, because at least they could be solved through a well-constructed plot with each turn of a page, as opposed to the realities of your actual life, a slow spiraling disaster in comparison.

Bakugou stood in front of you, vein ticking on his throat with every clench of his jaw. His arms were crossed tight over his chest, red gaze pinned on your hunched form. He wasn't at all the kind of person anyone could easily ignore. His very presence demanded attention and drew eyes like a magnet.

Case in point, no matter how much you tried to ignore him, you simply couldn’t.

"Please tell me you aren't going to stand there the entire time. Take a hint will you." You went to turn another page, but Bakugou reached over and snatched the book from your hands with deft fingers and speed you couldn't hope to match.

"Give. It. Back."

"Nah, I don't think I will just yet." He sneered, thumbing through the pages. "I was told to bring your dumbass back to the estate, so that's exactly what the hell I'm 'bout to do."

You blew a puff of air from your lips, eyes blazing with a kind of defiance that only burned harder the more you glared at him. "Then I guess you'll just have to drag me back kicking and screaming."

Bakugou only smirked, teeth spread in a feral grin that sent a chill down your spine.

That had always been his intention.

Almost an hour later, you stood before your parents, clothes dusty, creased, and smudged from having been manhandled like a sack of flour before promptly dumped in front of your waiting audience.

A frown marred your delicate features as they began their lecture.

Your mind drifted elsewhere the more they reminded you of your lineage and that you were royalty and how it was imperative you behave as such. You’d heard it all before, known this for as long as you could remember. As the King and Queen of your home country, your parents never failed to emphasize the importance of keeping your every move in check because of the reputation you had to uphold.

Katsuki stood somewhere behind you, and although he stayed mostly silent, you could almost hear him grinding away at his molars. The King and Queen were taking turns subtly digging into him as well, implying that his incompetence was a stain upon the royal guard perfect record of achievements. If he couldn't keep you in line, what was the point of holding rank?

They annoyed him way more than they did you, but he dare not voice it, not if he wanted to keep his head attached to his shoulders. Far be it from him to send himself to the guillotine

You both were in for a long night.

“Honestly, this kind of behavior is unbecoming of someone of your status. What will our countrymen think if they see you roaming about unattended like a vagabond?” Your father stroked his beard as if waiting for a response. But everyone in the room knew he really just liked to hear himself talk.

He was no better than a machiavellian swindler in expensive robes. A puppet if you would.

The real leader of the land was your mother. After all, she had only married into the family, having been the daughter of a mere advisor with no royal blood. She spoke little, but her glare was more than enough to convey just what she was thinking.

By the end of the lecture, you felt like all of your energy had been sapped from you, but thankfully your parents left you to retreat into your bedroom for the remainder of the day. Bakugou escorted you, following close behind.

“You’re gonna do it again, aren’t ya?”

You paused, foot nearly catching against the carpeted floors of your bedroom. Fiddling with a piece of your hair, you shrugged. “...maybe.”

“You’re a huge idiot.” Bakugou shook his head with a low laugh.

A tiny smidgen of a grin danced on your lips as you considered him. He was your childhood friend. No one knew you better than he did. And he was also the guard most assigned to watch over you and keep you safe from harm.

Despite that, you’d come to notice how much he’d changed. He wasn’t the same Katsuki you grew up knowing and you missed him dearly. Occasions like this, where a part of his guard was let down, were becoming few and far between. There had to be something you could do.

“Let’s make a wager. If you can manage to find me, I’ll do one thing at your command.”

“Challenge accepted.” He reached into the folds of his uniform, pulled out your little novel, and slapped it right into your open palm. "No matter where you run off to, I'll find ya. Trust me on that, princess."

His eyes were like candles in the night, ignited by a spark of passion. Not a single lie could be detected.

"I won't make it easy on you, Katsuki, just so you know."

"Heh, you better not." He sniffed, tucking his hands into his uniform pockets. And with a final half-wave, he was gone.

In and around the capital city, winter had completely lost it's bite. The weather was tepid, swinging a mild breeze that coasted through the countryside. It was the sort of winter where one felt as if woolen clothing were worn more for comfort than necessity. In what should have been the chilliest part of the year, Bakugou found himself traversing one of the many beaches that hedged the southern peninsula.

After a full week following the challenge issued in your bedroom, Bakugou realized you were entirely too good at evading him or any of the other guards at the kingdom’s disposal, for that matter.

Day in and day out, he spent his shifts searching tirelessly for you, just to stumble upon you in the most random of places and only when you had wanted him to find you. The running score was six to five in your favor, but he was determined not to lose to you again.

And there you were, standing at the very edge of the shore, as if a mere thought had manifested you right before his very eyes. Your loose billowing dress of soft satin waved to him like a white flag of surrender in the air. He'd finally found you.

"Not gonna run off this time?"

"Nope! You won this round." Your cheeks creased in a smile.

Given the boots he'd worn, it was no surprise that his feet kept sinking into the sand. You said nothing as he toed off his shoes and socks, bare feet settling into the depths of warm, grainy sand.

He couldn’t help but feel more relaxed. Over the past few months, he’d found himself losing sight of his goals, caught in the dredges of the mundane and routine.

The cool waters lapped at both his and your feet, fizzing and bubbling, leaving behind traces of salt. You went further into the water’s touch, your back to him as the tides licked at the your calves. Even he had to admit, the view was a beautiful one, possibly even more so with you against the backdrop.

“I’m glad you found me,” you called over the cry of seagulls. “For a second, I was worried you’d lose this round.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Tch, as if I’d ever lose to you, princess.”

“Naturally.” You laughed.

“What the hell are we doing out here anyway?”

He knelt to roll up his pants, a mere moment away from following after you like always.

“I... really just wanted to show you the view. Do you remember when we used to come down here as kids? Remember how we used to dare each other to see who could go the farthest into the ocean?”

Of course he remembered. Those were some of his most cherished memories of his time spent with you before duty to the kingdom took precedent.

You reached a hand out to him, an open invitation. “I just thought you needed a little reminder of what that was like.”

For some reason, Katsuki was determined not to meet your gaze, scowling at some point on the horizon, until you came over and nudged him with your elbow. “It wouldn’t kill you to admit that I’m right.”

With a sigh, he reached over and tugged you into a hug. You snuggled close to his chest, gripping the back on his uniform. It may have been your imagination but you could’ve sworn you felt the soft press of lips against your temple.

“Thanks... you know... for everything.”

Beaming, you leaned back to get the full view of his heated cheeks.

“Of course, of course.”

There was something earnest in his eyes that told you no matter how far you went, or however far you traveled, he’d always be a step behind you. It sent your heart hammering in your ribcage. You were suddenly all too aware of the way he held you secure against him like he would never let go.

“What are you thinking, princess?”

You blinked owlishly, taken over by your feelings and mumbling a hushed. “Oh, nothing.” The two of you were just a royal and a guard, bound to one another by duty.

If there could be anything more than that...well, only time would tell.

[honesthammie]

Prompt 39: Death wants you to be terrified. But the scariest thing is wanting death.

13th Doctor x female curvy reader

Warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughts, alcohol and drug abuse, domestic abuse, fat phobia

I'm sorry for this. Its really depressing and I've been hesitant on letting you guys see it but I kinda like how it's written. I've made the abuser gender neutral as females can also be abusive. I promise the next one will be much happier!

"Come on (y/n), you can make it! Just jump across and reach for my hand. I promise you won't fall." The Doctors voice echoes across the widening canyon. If you looked down, you would only see pitch black. You didn't know how long you'd fall. Maybe this would be the perfect time to just go for it. Its not like you'd matter, you're only slowing the team down as is.

They wouldn't even be in this mess if you didn't slip and hit the world shattering drill, turning it on full blast. Unfortunately, you smashed the button making it unable to turn it off. Of course the only way you'd be able to turn it off is to actually go towards it. Everyone in the room screamed at you and some raised their tentacles to attack you if the Doctor didn't step in front of you. You know the Doctor noticed you flinching and your eyes gloss over and noticed you bracing for the impact.

You learned over the years to just accept your fate. You can't run from anyone when you weighed this much. You couldn't hide either, which often left you to just accept what was coming and hope nothing broke. Bruises were always easy to cover and so were any cuts but broken bones, that was always on display and you'd have to break your number one rule: never lie. You hated lying. The truth always comes out anyway so why hide it? If you hide it, you get punished worse anyway so why bother?

If you jumped and actually went with the team, you'd get questioned about earlier and about hesitating at jumping. But if you fell, would the Doctor miss you? As much as you hated to admit it, you were absolutely in love with the adorable alien. Why did you hate to admit it? Because she was a goddess and you were a waste of skin and bones. You weren't skinny and you didn't fit in with the team at all. You were only here out of pity.

You remember when you first met the team. You were the only person alive when they searched underneath the hotel. Even the spiders didn't want you. You were at the hotel because you heard about killer spiders and you wanted an out. You could never do it or something would come up stopping you from ending all your misery. You were the complete opposite of the Doctor. She was so brave and said whatever she wanted and didn't really care for the consequences.

You focused on the Doctors sparkling eyes. Despite the situation, she still sparkled with hope and encouragement. She wasn't upset with you. You really wished she was. This would be such an easier decision to make. Your head was pounding and your heart was going faster than her two hearts. Did you even want her upset? You couldn't tell, your head was spinning wildly, one thought going to another without a chance to process the last one.

You had come to a clear decision. You ran back and let momentum do its thing as your feet left the muddy gravel. You felt so free as you glided in the air for a few seconds. It was the most beautiful feeling. No punishment, no tears before going to sleep and no terror of going back home. Just you and gravity.

Then with a clearer mind you regretted your choice. You were horrified. You weren't ready. It wasn't time yet. Graham can't lose you. He'd only recently lost his wife. He'd feel the same as you and that thought terrified you. He'd survived cancer and gained himself a new family. He can't be like you. Ryan needed him, wether he was willing to admit that or not.

Suddenly you panicked and last minute reached your hand out hoping you'd grab something. Anything. You felt a soft warm object and latched on for dear life. You were then lifted up and onto soil. You focused on your breathing a moment and waited for your heart to calm down. You looked up and saw what, or rather who, saved you. You shouldn't have been so surprised to see the Doctors worried face above yours. She gave you a questioning look, knowing the question, you nodded your head and she straightened herself and helped you up.

"That was great (n/n)! So brave of you! Let's go gang, we've gotta turn this drill off before it splits the planet in half!" She shouted as she ran forward, seemingly knowing the way. She didn't let go of your hand until you reached the drill about 10 minutes later. You couldn't help the blushthat formed on your cheeks. The Doctor quickly opened a panel on the side of the drill.

The drill was massive, bigger than the Eiffel Tower and that what was on surface level, it went down much deeper that it had reached halfway to the liquid nitrogen that ran in this cold planet where our magma centre would be. The drill itself was purple and spherical. The panel box was the size of a human head which was about the size of the civilisations sucker pads. Inside were 3 buttons and 1 lever. You needed to type the pattern that would gain the access to the drill and force stop. If it goes wrong, it speeds up rendering this planet uninhabitable.

You watched as the Doctor quickly typed the pattern in. Red,blue,red,red,red,blue,black,black,blue. That was the pattern she quickly pressed in and held the lever down for 10 seconds. Soon the drill came to a halt and the planet was peaceful once again. You all let out a sigh of relief as it stopped.

You made your way back to the chief of the race and explained that they should dismantle and never use that drill again unless they plan to empty the panet of everything it has within. He quickly agreed and the fam made their way back to the TARDIS.

As soon as tye TARDIS was parked on the edge of your solar system, you got into your comfy clothes ready to nap or maybe play a few games to slow your adrenaline until you were tired enough for a full nights rest. You played a few rounds of uno and some poker where you used some bits of metal instead of chips. Eventually everyone had left except you and the Doctor.

You made your way to the doors of the ship and settled down just watching the stars in front of you. If the sentient machine hadn't already been aware of your darkest thought, you would have jumped out there and been amongst them. Just floating eventually turning to nothing but bones drifting, maybe to never be found. All the sights you've seen and yet this is where you were the most impressed. This was your home, your galaxy and because of all the light pollution, you had never been fully aware of how many neighbours you had because you had been literally blind. This was only stuff captured and faked and now, it's forever in your mind.

You heard movement and a shuffle next you. You knew who it was because she was the only other person awake and you knew she was going to ask and not let it drop until you tell her truth. And you were going to give her it but that doesn't mean you were ready to do so but you had to, someone had to know. Maybe you wanted help or maybe just someone to listen and know everything making you mentally naked in front of them.

The Doctor waited a few moments. She was figuring out how to word it without sounding horrible. "Is everything alright at home?" She asked her voice laced with genuine concern. "Sorry if this sounds a bit abrupt but let me explain. You've been really weird lately. You hardly speak and when you its with as few words as possible, you keep going elsewhere mentally and Rassilion forbid anyone getting angry with you! I also noticed how you hesitated today when jumping and I saw your worry and panic when you jumped. I think I know but I can't help you if you don't at least tell me what is going on! And don't change the subject or anything, just answer me please. I lo-. I can't lose you too." Her voice raised a little as she panicked just speaking about it. Halfway through she grabbed both of your hands and continued her speech.

You looked deep into her eyes for any sign of a lie but there wasn't one. Just like at the canyon, her eyes showed nothing but love. Maybe you should tell her, just her. No Yaz, no Graham and no Ryan. Just you, The Doctor and the TARDIS. You looked away for a moment as you collected your thoughts. However, as you opened your mouth and tried to speak, you found no voice. You couldn't tell her about them. Lord knows what she's capable of. But you've been looking for an out for so damn long. Maybe this is it. She's your out, no death involved.

You walked towards a panel in the console and pushed your hands inside and focused. You focused on the worst time it happened. You concentrated on the fear and everything attached. You couldn't tell her, but you could show her. The TARDIS disappeared into the vortex but didn't seem so sure on landing. She was picking it all up, she felt everything you did and she did not like going. "Please baby girl, I need her to know. I need help but I can't tell her. She's my only out that doesn't involve death and that terrifies me! Please. I understand your hesitation but she needs to see." You spoke mentally to the sentient blue box. She made a sad sound as she gently landed in the moment.

The Doctor looked at you bewildered. Her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. You walked up to her and grabbed her hand reassuringly. You led her to the doors that separated her from your darkest secret. You took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.

You appeared to be in the basement of your house. You walked up the stairs and took her to a storage room where she could see it happen. You sat in silence for a few minutes only the sounds of breathing and your heartbeat could be heard.

You knew this day off by heart, it plagued your nightmares often. It all started to sweet and went sour so quickly. At this time you were currently on your way back from doing your weekly shop to Tescos making sure you didn't forget their vodka and gin on your way to pay. Thankfully, the shop was only 10 minuets away and you doubted that the TARDIS would make you wait longer than nessacary. Just as the Doctor opened her mouth to speak the door opened and in walked an 18 year old you.

You set the bags down and started sorting the items into their new places. The canned foods go in the cupboard and the meat goes into the fridge. There were loads of food and stuff to go through and place properly. After you placed the last can of baked beans into the cupboard, the door swung open, nearly breaking the door.

They came home from their dealers place early. They stunk of weed and alcohol and had a little white powder around their nose. They looked like they had a good time until they had to come home. It was their dealers birthday so he was having a brothel themed party meaning there were strippers, pole dancers and prostitutes as well. The dealer was a rich guy who practically ran this city. The cops couldn't do anything as he could always bail himself out of jail.

They looked you in your comfy clothes and scoffed. They looked angry. "Why aren't you in your normal clothes babes? I thought I told you to throw away all of that shit. Come on now. Don't tell me I wasted all my well earned money on those clothes I specifically chose for you?"

You shuddered, both in the past and now except now they only made bile rise into your throat. You were so young and vulnerable. Now you know better.

The past you quickly scampered off to get changed. After only 5 minutes you reappeared in what was sexy school girl. The blue miniskirt covered less than most underwear so you were forced to wear a thong. The shirt was a bralet that barely covered your nipples. Your hair was in pigtails and you wore thigh highs. The sight made you silently sick in your mouth. You looked pathetic and weak.

You looked at them expectingly. You were waiting for your next order from them. They seemed to drool at the sight of you. "That's better babes. Why didn't you go shopping like that? Show the world your fat ugly figure? I want you to walk out there and see that no one else wants you but here I am, loving you. I am the only one who will ever like you in the way we have now. Your lucky I've had some fun tonight. All I want is my vodka and a new blunt darling"

You quickly went and grabbed their stuff and walked towards them as they settled in front of the TV. They turned the TV on and put Love Island on. How you hated that show. It made you feel bad for being the size you are. The women on there were beautiful but you also knew that, that kind of beauty costs money. So while your partner had fun watching the show for the romance, you watched it to spot what part of them was bought and what was real. Almost all the women had fake teeth and breasts. You hated how your partner would make snide comments on how they looked compared to you.

"You should be looking like Becky ya know. Beautiful teeth, big perky tits and a fucking great ass. What do you have? Flabs!" And there was the first comment of the day. The first of 30, you counted.

"Yeah well you are fucking broke so I can't look like fucking fake ass Becky or the others!" You thought. Then the Doctor gave you a look of shock and pity and then you realised you said that aloud. Not loud enough for them to hear you but enough for the Doctor.

"Make yourself fucking useful and make me some dinner. I fancy a steak and chips." They ordered as you got up and waddled over to the kitchen. A few minutes in you realised you put too much oil in the pan for the steak but the steak was already in and cooking quick. So quick that it started to smoke just a little bit. You tried blowing it away from them before they realised that you fucked up their dinner but ut was too late. They were already on their feet a marching towards you.

"I'm so sorry. I accidentally poured too much oil in. I'm so sorry. I have a spare steak, you can have my meal for tonight, I could do with skipping a meal anyways, helps me lose weight!" Past you was panicked and present you wasn't much better. Even though you were safe from them, they still made you uneasy. If you were to ever see them again, you'd freeze. They made your blood run cold. Even their voice sent unpleasant shivers down your spine.

"You better make me another steak but I still have to punish you. You fucked up, a lesson needs to be learnt." They said scarily politely. They grabbed your left arm and marched you towards the sink. They also grabbed the burning pan and pinned you so you had no escape as they poured the boiling oil onto your skin. You knew not to scream do you bit into your other arm knowing a bite out of it is better than causing more punishments for screaming.

When they were done left to watch the TV and you knew what that meant. You had to cook the spare steak and make there meal before you can get proper treatment at the hospital. Through your tears of agony, you quickly ran your burnt and bleeding arm under the cold water of the sink. You bit deeper into your other arm and tasting blood, but thay didn't stop you until the left one had cooled down. Then you got an old shirt, ripped 2 pieces of fabric off and wrapped them around both arm Injuries. You then continued their meal.

Once they had the meal they kicked you and punched you in the stomach because the chips were slightly cold and then they drove you to the hospital as they promised. When you had left you didn't realise you had been crying until a drop fell on your arm. You walked out of the storage room and sat on the sofa, turning the TV off.

The Doctor looked shocked for a moment before walking over and kneeling in front of you. The Doctor went silent for a moment. Before she could speak, you decided to speak first.

"I couldn't tell you because I couldn't think if a nice way of telling you. I didn't want to appear weak to you." You cried as your voice cracked in the middle due to the tears and the strain. The Doctor looked at you in pity and disappointment.

"This does not make you weak. Being abused does not make you weak. Because being abused is like being tortured by someone who supposed to love you and cherish you. They are meant to protect you from danger not be the danger. I would never hurt you. I know that I put you in risky situations but believe me, I would never intentionally put you in danger. You mean too much to me" The Doctor softly spoke with tears making a little river down her soft cheeks and onto your black carpet below.

"Before I met them, I was like you or Yaz. I was so happy at everything. Very little could bring me down. But I met them and started dating them and suddenly, my world of sunshine faded to grey. There was no light. I wanted to die Doctor. When you found me at that spider hotel, I wanted to be free from them as I couldn't do it. I can't because they'd kill me. I don't want to be alive whilst I'm with them. I have so many scars from either them or me trying to end my own life and that the scariest thing. Death wants us to be terrified but wanting to die is so much more terrifying Doctor, I know that." You cried as you emptied all you could to her. The Doctor was silent for a moment, taking in everything you said. Waves of emotion flashed through her, anger, sadness, pity and something you couldn't quite place.

"You said wanted. That's past tense. You said wanted to die. What changed? What made you want to live?"

"You did. You saved me from the spiders. You gave me a temporary out of the relationship for a while. You made me smile for the first time in 3 years! You made me laugh. The world of grey is now full of sunshine and rainbows Doctor. You also saved me today. When I jumped across that canyon, I jumped to end my life. I made a mistake that nearly ended a planet! If I wasn't so fat and clumsy maybe i-"

"Don't you dare say that! You are not fat (n/n). Yes you have more plush to your body but you are not fat. I hate that word. Its such a nasty word. You are gorgeous, amazing and so brilliant. You can't see what I see and I really wished you could for just one moment. You are worthy of being loved and cared for. You are precious, rare, one of a kind. I've never met anyone like you. There's always some skinny, fake bodied and caked up women but there's no one with as much natural beauty as you! Let's get back to the TARDIS and we'll talk more when looking at the stars because I can see that being here isn't doing you any favours" The Doctor spoke with such passion that you started to believe that her words held more than those of a supporting friend would.

Once the TARDIS was parked in the Milky Way you settled by the door once again and found yourself accompanied by the sweet alien. You both sat there for a moment just content with wrapping your heads around what's just happened. You looked over to the blonde and noticed how the stars made her glow in such an ethereal way that you felt almost compelled to worship her. Maybe you should after everything she's done for you. Her eyes sparkled with si many emotions from the past senario.

"Are you still with them?"

"Why do you think I never left this place? I mean even if could, I wouldn't want to but it's mainly because if I go back home, I'll come back with more injuries. I feel safer with you. You are my sunshine and rainbows and they are my storm clouds. Whilst I'm here, I'm alive and mostly unbroken. Whilst I'm there, I'm as alive as a puppet and severely broken. I can't leave, not on my own anyway."

The Doctor looked at you in thought. "The starlight compliments you. You look so pretty and almost angelic. I just wish they never hurt my angel. My innocent angel had broken wings and I'm going to fix what the Devil broke, I promise. Just hold on, I'm going to take us somewhere."

You held the nearest crystal as the TARDIS transported you somewhere but it seemed like the sentient machine was determined to take you there as quick as she could. As you opened the doors you noticed a familiar smell of weed mixed with alcohol. You heard the familiar tune of Love Island and knew exactly where you were. You were home. The Doctor saw your hesitation and whispered softly, "I want you to pack everything you want. I've written a note for them to find. I'm going to put it on the bed. If they notice you scream for me and I'll be there. They will not hurt you much, hopefully not at all. I just need to do something in the TARDIS before I help you." She turned and left into the TARDIS and disappeared down a corridor.

The atmosphere sent chills down your spine and you were frozen. The TARDIS seemed to notice and words of encouragement were sent into your head which helped you move towards your bedroom. You quickly buy quietly opend your suitcase and started to fill it with clothing and hygiene products. As you entered the bathroom a bottle of their shampoo fell into the tub giving you away. You knew you only had so long before they came in and hurt you so you closed the door and barricaded it with whatever you could.

As you pushed the last cabinet to the pile they roared through the wooden door. "Let me in you fat dumb bitch. You've been gone for 3 weeks and you've got some balls coming back! You're lucky I haven't burned all your shit! Where have you been?"

Your heart ran at an extremely fast pace nd you knew only one person could help you now. And so you screamed her name so loud it hurt your throat bit that didn't stop you. You screamed until you heard talking. You couldn't understand what was said but suddenly a thud was heard and then silence.

"Hey Starlight! It's only me. I've taken care of them. They're not dead but in a venishion aikido. They can't move, they're paralysed. You can come out and finish packing"

You moved everything out of the door and opened it to a view you expected. The Doctor with 2 fingers to their pulse point on their neck. The Doctor smiled at when they saw you. You finished packing and zipped the bag up. Then Yaz walked in with her police uniform on and arrested them for domestic violence and many other things. Now you understood why The Doctor left, it was to get Yaz as a back up option to completely take them out of your life.

The Doctor helped open doors for you as you got your room and you set the suitcase to one side to empty another day. You both sat down on your bed. The sound was filled with nothing but 2 lifeforms breathing and the TARDIS faint buzzing. You two stayed like this, staring into each other, trying to read the others emotions. But we all know what The Doctor is like, she can't stay silent for long.

"I had to save you because as long as you were with them, you weren't ever going to be truly happy. I didn't want my big bright star to turn into a black hole, I wanted her to be a supernova. My Starlight deserves to be happy."

"You keep saying my Doctor. And you asked if I was still with them and then when I basically said yes, you quickly, as in a rush, sent us home so I could leave them. You keep saying all these things about me. You held my hand from the canyon to the drill. You are always the first to check on me and you always make sure I'm OK first even if I'm the farthest person from you! Doctor, be honest, I don't want any more bullshit. Doctor why?" You spoke softly but with determination. The Doctor blushed and shifted her gaze to the stars and quietly gulped. She knew this day would come. The day her secret was revealed. And she dreaded her answer and she dreaded your reaction. And whilst she figured out what to say, you already knew the answer.

You gently grabbed her chin and made her look at you. Once her gaze caught yours, you smiled and placed your lips to her soft ones. Quickly she caught up and kissed you back with all the love and passion she could muster. She wanted to relay that she did love you and that she would do exactly as she said earlier, she would cherish you.

As for you, you smiled. You finally had an out that didn't end in death but instead ended with the same love that you yearned for, for years.

[glitterge1pen]

Have You Ever Considered Craft Supplies Instead Of Drugs? Then This Might Be For You.

Kyōtani Kentarou x reader, sfw, fluff, 1,691word count 

His room for the most part was clean. It’s main function was for sleep though. This was apparent. His clothes, which were mainly basketball shorts and blank t-shirts, were scattered about in a way that told you he threw them there when going to bed.

Kyotani had told you to give him a few minutes, while he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and struggling with the cap of his eyeliner pen. You felt comfortable enough in his apartment to check the fridge and see if anything was worth your while. But still you felt a bit like an intruder in his bedroom, which is where you had wandered off to.

The walls were white, mostly bare. There was a poster up for some band you didn't recognize, and another one advertising the Sendai Frogs that looked like he had ripped it off one wall to get onto his. You smiled at the thought of him stealing the poster from the grocery store display window or stadium parking lot.

You give his room one last once over before turning to leave. On your way out you trip over a shoe box. You would have just ignored it but a few tufts of paper flew out from the lid. You bend down to collect them but find that these aren't just trash from the shoe box. Quietly, and with a tinge of guilt, you kneel down to gently put the papers back in the box. The little scraps of paper you had found were actually sticky notes, you couldn't decipher the writing on them because of how faded and old the paper was.

You get one quick glimpse inside the shoe box on Kyotani’s floor. There are dozens of papers, printed photos, receipts, tickets, and what you assume are old keys. You feel like you've seen something very private of Kyotani’s and when you turn around to find him standing in the doorway, you gasp in shock.

“What are you doing in here?”

He seems more concerned and confused about you versus the fact that you are in his room. You decide sarcasm is the best choice of action.

“What? You embarrassed about me being in your bedroom?”

“Shut up and get out!”

Kyotani puts his hands on your shoulders and tosses you out into the hallway.

“Hey, hey, what time is it because we might actually be late to the movie now,”

You say pulling out your phone to get a glance at the clock. There was only twenty minutes before you were supposed to be at the theater.

“We’ll be fine, the trailers always play for too long anyways”

He says leading you out the front door.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

When the team wins a game and you head out to eat with the guys afterwards, your eyes don't usually follow Kyotani’s hands so closely. You hope that no one else has picked up on your new habit. But last week's venture into his bedroom has left you reeling in thought.

Kyotani doesn't really like to be hugged. During movie nights he sits separate from the pile of pillows and bodies. He tolerates head pats and high fives. When he hangs up the phone you can feel how difficult it is for him to say something like “bye I love you” platonic or not.

You hadn't really considered it before, at least not so intently in relation to Kyotani. Most people were easy to understand in their affections and how they garnered it. Or if they weren't so obvious, they made some sort of distinction, a simple “I don't like when people do this” or “I prefer this”.

Being friends with Kyotani you had assumed that he was content with what people gave him because he never asked for more. He didn't hug you when you two parted ways, and you never forced him to. He didn't ask or push on others boundaries but now after seeing that shoe box you wondered why he had never advocated for his own. You thought perhaps it wasnt that Kyotani disliked those other forms of affection or care, but rather he didn't regard those other acts as affections at all.

The sounds of the restaurant fade back in as your thoughts simmer down. You feel Tsukishima and Yamaguchi next to you. Enthralled in a conversation about some show they had been binging together. Apparently Yamaguchi had watched a few episodes without Tsukishima and everyone found the annoyed, bitter expression on Tsukishima hilarious, the table erupting in laughter.

“You good? You've been staring at nothing for five minutes,”

Kyotani said to you before taking another bite into his food. He sat across from you, his elbows propping him up over his plate of food.

“Yeah, just tired today,”

You say shaking your head as if trying to wake yourself up.

As the evening wears on, your eyes still follow Kyotani’s hands. Trying to catch the moment of thievery in action. To see if your contemplations are grounded in Kyotani’s actions or rather thoughts with nothing to hold as they pass you by.

But as everyone files out of the restaurant, the bill already split, the copy of the receipt abandoned on the table, you watch as Kyotani lingers for just a moment, to pocket the slip of paper.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You couldn't remember the last time you had attempted to burn a CD. Was it you who did it or a friend? It was years ago though that was for sure. You had made three playlists on spotify, checking and double checking that they were private playlists. After arranging them and finding the songs that fit just right with each list you started finding youtube videos of each song. From there you converted the links to MP3 audio.

While your computer whirred and the audio filed loaded onto the disk you thought about decorating the CD cases. Of course covering the clear plastic case with glitter gel pen and cute stickers was very tempting. But you weren't sure that was Kyotani’s style. At the same time this was supposed to be a gift from you. You met yourself halfway.  Decorating one CD case like how you would have wanted, and the other with more of a Kyotani flair, the third somewhere in between the two.

When the CD’s were done you carefully placed them into their new plastic homes. Grabbing a black sharpie to scribble the playlist names onto each. You felt like wrapping them would be too extravagant so you settled for tying a ribbon around the two.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“What the hell do you want?” Kyotani says as he pulls up next to you on the curb outside your place. You had texted him earlier while he was at work, asking if could stop by after he got off. He has the window rolled down and you take it upon yourself to unlock the passenger door and climb inside.

"I wanted you to test these out"

You were hoping that you had done everything right with the computer.You hand him the CD's, he flips them over in his hands inspecting them.

“Is it cool if I take these ribbons off?”

You nod and he turns the car radio on to insert the CD’s. As the first song starts playing you turn to him.

“This is that band you like right? The one on that poster in your room?”

Kyotani is visibly flustered by this.

“Yes? Did you...did you make these for me?”

You throw your head back in a laugh.

“Yes, I made them for you,”

“Oh,”

He says in a rather soft amazed tone.

“Look, I didn't mean to, but when I was in your room the other day I tripped over that shoe box you have,”

You keep your eyes trained on the street outside the dashboard window. Unsure and a bit nervous to see what Kyotani is thinking. Tempted by curiosity though, you do look at him for a brief moment, only to find him also intensely staring off into the street. His face lit up red with embarrassment.

“I’m glad that I saw it though. Because that stuff is important to you and I want to know what you think is important”

The air in the car feels like it is clinging to your skin with tension. You think the pressure will start to crack your bones when Kyotani’s voice splinters the suspense.

“It's easier to feel something when its tangible, when you can hold it, it's why people still buy polaroids and go to museums and shit”

You nod, a jovial ease overcoming you as he continues to speak.

“I don't really like, uh, I guess physical affection or even talking or it’s not like talking, people call it words of affirmation or whatever,”

You hold the smile of your lips down, you don't want him to think you’re teasing him in this moment. You're just happy that he is comfortable enough with you to say such things.

“I know lots of other people like to have those types of things though, and I worked really hard to get used to stuff, but I don't know, this is what I like,”

He says gesturing with the CD case to you.

“I mean so like, birthday cards, post-it notes, bus transfers? Things that are directly attached to memories and people? Anything else you want me to know about?”

While it hurts a little that he’s struggling to talk about this matter, you can't help but revel in the unusual brash shyness of Kyotani. He does mutter something, but when you lean in closer to signal that you didn't hear him the first time he repeats himself.

“Event pamphlets. I know it's trash but I like it”

“Promise you won't get mad?”

You drawl your voice out and make it sweet so he knows you're messing with him.

“Hm?”

He says, eyebrow quirked in question.

“I think you'd be really into scrapbooking”

“Shut the hell up before I kick you out of my car”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

A/N: Took a break from my current writing obsession to spit this out .

[thosch3i]

The finale of Ultimate Note airs 12/9 (tonight in China) for VIP. Thank you to this drama for bringing me my favorite Iron Triangle ❤ Longer discussion of why I love it so much, and why I strongly recommend it to book fans (especially those upset with certain previous adaptations) below the cut, apologies if it’s not fully coherent at times because I haven’t slept enough and also it’s almost 1am. But your TLDR is basically: characterization, plot, pacing, relationships are the best of any DMBJ drama. Iron Triangle especially.

First, the pacing of this show is excellent. Pretty much all cdramas I’ve seen or heard of have been inundated with filler, and the previous DMBJ dramas fall victim to this as well. Ultimate Note took 36 episodes to cover 4 book arcs, whereas previous adaptations have taken more episodes to cover far fewer. There’s really not any content you’d be wanting to skip, as almost all of it is plot-relevant or character-relevant.

Second, the plot is the most cohesive out of any DMBJ adaptation. Frankly, this isn’t saying too much, given the novel plot can also be confusing as all hell sometimes, but Ultimate Note goes above and beyond in pulling in information from later books and, if I heard correctly, common fan theories, doing their best to fill in the plot holes left by the author to create a more complete story.

Third, the female characters are actually done well. (As well as they can be, given the source material’s unfortunate habit of fridging its women.) For example, A-Ning’s decision to go the Tamutuo wasn’t because she was ~in love~ with some man. She is a determined individual who has made her choice about her path a long time ago, and she is willing to risk death to achieve her goals. Even her death was done about as well as it could have been--it wasn’t drawn out to the point of it being sickeningly cheesy, and Wu Xie tried his best to honor her goals and bring her to the Palace of the Queen Mother of the West (even emphasizing to Pangzi, “if you died, I would carry you too”). In addition, Chen Wenjin wasn’t stuck in some ridiculous love triangle. She loved Wu Sanxing, of course, but her loving a man isn’t made out to be her entire personality. Her goodbye to Xie Lianhuan is poignant but not mushy. She’s steady and sure in her goals, and she knows what she has to do in order to save herself. Yuncai’s character, as well, I think was handled about as well as it could’ve been given the source material. Her relationship with Pangzi wasn’t overexaggerated and nauseating, and I think their relationship was more tolerable in the drama than it was in the novel overall. (In addition, I prefer how they handled her death in the drama versus the novel--instead of just killing her offscreen, they give her a redemption, and show how she’d grown attached to her new friends, Pangzi especially, resulting in her hesitation to deal the final blow.)

Related to the above point: no added forced romances that destroyed the female characters’ personalities and reduced them to just love interests for men, thank god. Pangzi and Yuncai’s relationship was already there in the novel, but nothing about their relationship was distorted in the drama to the point of being annoying, and Yuncai is shown to have her own goals for cozying up to Pangzi (at first, at least). If you want to get technical about “added romances”, you could honestly argue that it’s Pingxie. (And Hei///hua, but I’ll be honest and say they’re not my cup of tea, so I won’t really be discussing them. However, I do think their characters, while also exaggerated for humor at points, were also done well, and their relationship--while AFAIK was not a really a thing in the books at all?--was written in a way that the development made sense, and their personalities compatible.)

But anyway, while Ultimate Note does make Pingxie seem closer to each other than they were in the novel, we do have to remember that the novel is from Wu Xie’s point of view, and he’s a little bit of a blockhead when it comes to noticing how much Xiaoge cares about him. (IIRC, he wonders if Xiaoge even considers him a friend in Zang Hai Hua...after Xiaoge’s literally called him his “only connection” to this world in book 8.) However, from an outsider POV, it’d be natural for us to see Xiaoge worrying more over Wu Xie. Because from Wu Xie’s perspective, what did he actually see? Xiaoge dropping in to save him a few times and often vanishing or turning away right after, leaving Wu Xie with mixed feelings and confusion about his value to Xiaoge. Xiaoge being aloof before they set off to Tamutuo, claiming that he is a person with no past and future, and that no one would remember him if he disappeared. (Xiaoge smiles before telling Wu Xie that he’s on Wu Xie’s side--that’s a smile that the viewers see, but that Wu Xie doesn’t.) Most of Xiaoge’s visible worry for Wu Xie in the desert was also when Wu Xie himself was not there to see it. During the scene where the fungus was growing in Wu Xie’s stomach, he was entirely out of it while Xiaoge visibly panicked about hurting him, and after the fungus was dealt with, Xiaoge only stood off to the side--only to smile faintly to himself, relieved, after Wu Xie wakes up. (Again a smile that the viewers see, but that Wu Xie doesn’t.) But because from an outsider POV we can see all this, while Wu Xie remains partly ignorant, lines like “thankfully, I didn’t bring death upon you” and Xiaoge calling Wu Xie is only connection to the world seem that much more logical, now that we can see some of the depth and development of how much Xiaoge does care about Wu Xie.

That brings me to the primary reason why I love Ultimate Note, because the main selling point for me on any franchise is not actually world-building or plot, but rather the characters and the relationships between those characters. And for DMBJ, the relationship I’m always looking for--and the relationship that the entire franchise ultimately centers around--is the Iron Triangle. And the mutual trust and the strength of the bond between this Iron Triangle is unmistakable; no one is treated as expendable.

As much as we have joked about Xiaoge's double standards with Wu Xie versus Pangzi, the end of the Banai arc especially and the last five episodes have cemented the importance of Xiaoge and Pangzi's friendship. Their relationship is often the weakest leg of the Iron Triangle in DMBJ adaptations, but Ultimate Note has nailed it. Pangzi helps carry Xiaoge out of Tamutuo, and Pangzi's the one who primarily takes care of Xiaoge after he loses his memories. There's also Xiaoge's clear worry over Pangzi after Yuncai's death, and his assurance that Pangzi won't die as long as he is here in the later episodes when the two of them are separated from Wu Xie--showing that the Iron Triangle is a triangle; Wu Xie isn't the single connection that Xiaoge and Pangzi's relationship hinges upon.

Pangzi and Wu Xie's friendship doesn't need much explaining: the two of them bicker like they're brothers, and they could probably star in their own buddy-cop comedy together. Both Pangzi and Xiaoge are shown to be clearly worried for Wu Xie after the Xie Lianhuan reveal, and even though neither of them quite know how to handle it, they are there for Wu Xie. And of course, there's the scene where Pangzi pours out the water while they're waiting for Xiaoge to leave the meteorite. Wu Xie cries for Pangzi when they're in the Miluotuo cave and he chooses to carry out Xiaoge first, and once again, his worry for Pangzi after Yuncai's death is palpable. Even when Wu Xie has to leave Pangzi in Banai, he instructs Xiaoge to look after him (not that Xiaoge really needed the instruction, anyway--that’s his best friend, too).

Wu Xie and Xiaoge's relationship needs even less explaining: anyone who's watched the show can attest to how much they care about each other. From Wu Xie's frantic scrambling to grab the tapes upon hearing they were from "Zhang Qiling" and Xiaoge's introduction in the show being him stopping outside Wushanju to stare up (longingly?) at the sign, we see their relationship unfold in all of its quiet pining and lingering looks. When Xiaoge claims no one would know if he disappeared from this world, Wu Xie doesn't hesitate in promising that he, at least, will. Xiaoge smiles before telling Wu Xie that he's on his side, and Wu Xie vows to walk with Xiaoge until the very end. During the entire Tamutuo trip, Xiaoge is visibly worried for Wu Xie--when the parasitic fungus grew in his stomach, that worry was the most clear. But Wu Xie worries for Xiaoge too: insisting on going to save Xiaoge from the snakes that night when they all went blind; swearing that even if he faces death, he would wait for Xiaoge to leave the meteorite; telling Xiaoge that he will take him home. (Related: the soft, almost vulnerable way Xiaoge tells Wu Xie “take me home” in episode 31.) Not to mention--even when Xiaoge loses his memories, he still remembers Wu Xie. (And Pangzi smiles knowingly right after that scene.)

There are too many character/relationship moments I could write about, but one that stuck out in particular was when they were facing the spiders, and Wu Xie stopped Xiaoge from cutting his hand and using his blood to make the spiders retreat. At this point, Wu Xie and Pangzi don't know the extent of how Xiaoge was (mis)treated as a child (and used as a blood bag, apparently), but they know about how "A-Kun" was captured used as bait. Wu Xie and Pangzi would never ask Xiaoge to bleed for them, no matter what. Not now, let alone 10+ years later. (I won't name names, but if you know what I'm talking about, then you know.)

Which brings me to my main point: the characters in Ultimate Note are the closest to their novel selves I have ever seen in a DMBJ adaptation, and this is objectively the best adaptation of the DMBJ novel. (Whether you prefer another adaption or not is your opinion--I absolutely love the Time Raiders movie, even though that plot is literally all over the place, and Xiaoge is decently OOC--but Ultimate Note is the best adaptation of the novel, and the characters are the most true to what they actually should be.)

You can see the innocent and naïve Wu Xie, but you can also see the developing confusion, frustration, and anger he feels because he's been lead around by his nose his entire life. And he is angry in the novel; he is a bit of a hot-headed bastard; he's not just a naïve child. I remember seeing some complaints that Wu Xie felt "OOC" in the first episode for being so furious with his San-shu, but I think his reactions were spot-on with how he felt, and how he wanted to react. A similar point is the scene where Wu Xie slammed Xiaoge against the car--aside from just being some fun fanservice, in the novel Wu Xie really was furious at Xiaoge for vanishing on him and never contacting him after leaving the Heavenly Palace in the Clouds. A lot of the novel is Wu Xie's inner thoughts, which are difficult to portray in a live action adaptation, but he really did pretty much want to pick a fight with Xiaoge about disappearing, and  Ultimate Note decided on how to express this frustration in a way that suits a drama adaptation. In addition, you can see how Wu Xie’s past experiences like the trip to Tamutuo has changed him in how he manipulates Panma into bringing him to the lake; and you can see how almost losing Xiaoge and Pangzi to the Miluotuo changed him as well, when he thinks he’s lost them for real in episode 36 (leading up to his decision to put on his San-shu’s mask by the end, despite the fact that “some masks, when worn too long, can no longer be taken off”).

As for Pangzi: even though he has scenes that were clearly exaggerated for comic relief, he has plenty of moments that build his character and the Iron Triangle’s bond. These include him pouring out the water while he and Wu Xie are waiting for Xiaoge, his grief over Yuncai’s death, his standing by Wu Xie during the hotel auction scene, and his almost mother-hen-like worry about Xiaoge while they’re entering the Zhang Family Mansion in the last five episodes. Not to mention, he’s really quite a smart and perceptive character, despite his goofiness: he sees through Xiaoge’s worry about Wu Xie, and he knows when to step in and liven the atmosphere (see: Wu Xie being all awkward about his gift to Xiaoge in episode 31, and Pangzi being there practically just for emotional support). Also in episode 31: Pangzi telling Xiaoge that he’s getting more and more humane (the implications about Wu Xie here are pretty obvious). All in all, Pangzi is a funny person; he is often comic relief, but he’s also a steadfastly loyal friend and someone who loves deeply and without regret. Initially we saw more of his humor, but we definitely got the depths to his character by the end of Ultimate Note.

Finally Xiaoge, who I’m discussing last because he’s my favorite character: for once, I can see the humanity behind the title “Zhang Qiling”, and in a way that isn’t OOC. Xiaoge isn’t treated as a free source of bug-repelling blood; he isn’t treated as some overpowered, untouchable idol; he isn’t treated as a rescue machine for whenever another character needs it. He is a human, not a god. For the rest, I think his actor’s words speak for themselves. (And now I really don’t trust anyone else except him with Xiaoge's character.)

Ultimate Note succeeded in capturing the nuances of its main characters: Wu Xie’s loss of his “tianzhen” and slow maturation to the man he will eventually become by Sha Hai; Pangzi’s outwardly humorous pseudo-caricature but inwardly deeply loyal and loving spirit; Xiaoge’s vulnerabilities, painful humanity, and the “heart” given to him by his mother, hidden beneath a seemingly impenetrable armor. This is an Iron Triangle that feels like the Iron Triangle, without needing say so much in words. This is an Iron Triangle with mutual respect and a friendship I can see and believe in.

In conclusion: Ultimate Note does the story justice; it does the characters justice; it does the relationships justice; and it did all this with a low budget and almost no promotion. You can tell the crew definitely cares about the source material.

My only complaint is that they couldn’t film the finale.

Rambling over! All my love to the Ultimate Note cast and crew <3

[everafterkeiji]

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐓. 𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

PAIRINGS: pretty setter squad x gn! reader

GENRE: fluff everywhere

A/N: who can write hcs without dying from how adorable they are- i barely survived

⟡ 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐀, perfection is the only thing I can describe it as. He'd honestly plan out everything— definitely thinking about the possibilities of the boys finding him so he sings to you in a different place.

It's so simple but this man is showering you with the heart warming lyrics as he sings to you while twirling you around. He kisses your hand at the end of the song and you'd be flustered as hell but who wouldn't be?

After him literally owning your heart, he kept laughing at how flustered you were but he suddenly pulls out your favorite flower with a movie ticket attached to the stem.

"I figured you'd like the first half of this, why don't we advance to next part, love?"

⟡ 𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀 would simply agree to serenading you because firstly, this idea was brought by Suga and second he simply couldn't decline especially when they said Hinata would top him in singing. He genuinely wants to show you how much he likes you so he chose to do whatever it takes.

Late in the night, he calls up Hinata and aggresively asks him to come with him because he's nervousness was as high as the ceiling— honestly just prepare.

As Kageyama sings, Hinata badly wanted to laugh at how Tobio needed the lyrics in hand just to accomplish the song.

"Louder." Hinata whispers, making Kageyama whip his head to boy, glaring at him in the process making you laugh seeing a certain tangerine hair pop up.

"Huh?" Kageyama asked making Hinata mentally facepalm but he sighed.

"Louder! Sing louder, idiot."

"Oh." Kageyama proceeds to obey, but without a tune in sight making you come down to meet him, unable to stop yourself from laughing at how adorable he was. With you in front of him, he just stops singing before speaking.

"I l-l-like you- would you mind going on a date with me?"

⟡ 𝐎𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀 would honestly nail this but I can't say how long it'll take him to not lose his shit. He had the idea in his head when he overheard a girl gossiping how he wished she was serenaded making him think it's suddenly the most romantic thing to do.

This man will hands down search a song in a span of three hours just because he wanted to succeed so bad. Once he's found the song, prepare for a prince to come by your house. The setter has a bouquet in his hands with endless time practicing the song whether in his shower or during training, maybe even buy a mic for it to be perfect.

So imagine this handsome baby prepared to give you the performance of his life but his amazing and totally not disturbing third year friends pass him while he was singing.

"Eh Oikawa what's this?"

"I bet that his voice will crack."

"You're on."

"Guys!" Oikawa shouts making him pout but the third years laugh at him but once his friends seriously take in what he was doing, they try to cheer up the poor boy making you come down from your balcony.

Leaning a sweet peck on his cheek, making them all stunned as Oikawa stands with wide eyes and pink tinted cheeks, but this was quickly replaced with a smirk when his efforts weren't all wasted.

"Since we were rudely interrupted- what performance do you wanna see now, cutie?"

⟡ 𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈, baby you are so lucky to have this boy sing for you. Unlike Oikawa who searches for hours to find the perfect song, this pretty boy has the perfect song on his mind already, since you invaded his thoughts too much.

Romantic. That's all I can describe it. Unlike a bouquet or chocolates, Keiji prepared you letters— one where he confesses how much he liked you, and the others consisted of all the features he adored about you, each ending with "only yours, Akaashi."

Strictly wanted to do this alone but a certain ace comes along thinking he'd be harmless while it unfolded in front of him.

Beautifully singing with soft eyes on yours, you were obviously swooning before you see a sign come from behind Akaashi. "Date him!" Written three times in white paper with a smiling Bokuto pointing to Akaashi who had no idea that he was there. You chuckle as you meet with them, hugging Akaashi as he hands you the letters, kissing your hand once you received them.

"AKAASHI! YOU DID SO WELL!"

"B-BOKUTO-SAN?"

⟡ 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀 honestly needed the whole Nekoma team to do this but with threats from Kuroo to take away his game, he could never back down to be seperated from it. It was initially Kuroos idea but when Yaku dragged the idea longer, he took Yaku's judgement instead (sorry Kuroo). Just like Suga, he will not do it traditionally so when you two are hanging out in his house you'll hear faint singing from the fake blonde beside you.

I don't see him overthinking this because he trusts that you won't give him a crazy reaction knowing you two are such good friends, leading him to a state where he wanted to be yours.

He's playing his game, avoiding to hold eye contact with you so he doesn't go silent from how flustered he is but with his sweet voice blessing your ears, you instantly smiled before leaning your head on his shoulder, drowning in his song.

He smiles as he continued singing to you, leaning his head on yours as well.

⟡𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐈 has this in the bag. The song he'll sing to you is a song that he wrote about you long before, writing from the day he met you, to what he loved about you, to how much he likes you. Right in his room, playing his guitar while singing, complete lost in the music and envisioning a date with you in the process. You would obviously drop everything to have this moment again.

You can't miss the way he looks at you with shimmering eyes along with a smile, or even a smirk if you looked long enough. Would casually wink at you, making you lose your mind.

"I know I've sung all the things I wanted to say but is it possible to spend some more time with you this Saturday?"

⟡ 𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐔, not gonna lie, he'd be cool about this. This particular setter just finds one song that made him thought of you and instantly goes with it. He thought it was silly at first to serenade someone but when he sees how the guy always get the person after they do it, the mans is hooked. Now this time, he actually takes time with his appearance and debating on what to give you.

You two are in your room as you constantly switch the channels when the song he wanted to sing to you was playing. He quickly shuffles out your bed as you stared with crazy eyes. He grabs a nearby brush flipping it in the air and catching it perfectly before pointing to you and singing the lyrics.

He'd hop you off your bed dancing around you, but he laughs from time to time making you laugh as well. You've finally familiarized yourself with the song so when he invites you to sing with him while holding out another brush to you, you gladly took it from his hands and sing with him, dancing around the room.

He was dancing with you but by the nearing end of the song he takes you in, twirling you before dipping you down looking at you seriously in your eyes, singing the last lyrics to the song. You were obviously speechless of this new side of Atsumu but he chuckles before speaking.

"So, do I get my lover now?"

[nightswithkookmin]

JK IS EXPOSING JIKOOK.... AGAIN!

This is not an analysis. Or may be a mini one. Just wanted to point out JK dumb ass exposing himself and his inability to stay away from Jimin even though he and his mans were in a middle of a 'fight.'

There was a chair right there, JK! An empty chair in a very spacious space next to the rack behind Namjoon and it was equally close to Jimin and the exit if that's where he really wanted to be!

But no. He needed to be super close. Super, super, close, didn't he? Leave no space for Jesus close. Crawl into Jimin"s soul close!

Does this remind you of any particular moment? A certain April/March 2020 YouTube Live uploaded in May 2020 where JK wanted to crawl into Jimin's soul?

This moment???

Sigh. Ding, ding, ding! Yes. Jk gets super clingy whenever he and Jimin get into a squabble- that is if Jimin is the one mad at him. *insert skull head*

If Jk is the angry one- well, Jimin also gets clingy! Lol. Color them whipped.

And yes, I been told y'all 2019 August up until July 2020 has been that time of the year for Jikook. *Sigh.

It's been a rollercoaster ride for- us. We are equally attached to them as they are to each other and so we can sense when things are off and I know some people think they hold hands and sing Kumbaya on a daily basis- it's called denial sweetie.

Anywho, notice how Jikook were 'seen' less in this episode or how their interactions were zero to none? How JK was almost nowhere to be found in those clips, how they each entered the rest room 'separately?'

There's a reason BigHit dont release their moments in real time and I've already told y"all BigHit loves to show off Jikook moments so they kinda hit the breaks when a moment has less Jikook in it. Fand are quick to raise a brow when they notice the slightest change in Jikook interactions or lack of it thereof.

It thus makes sense to me then that they will release this episode only after Memories 2019 was released. People are too high on that Jikook infested DVD that they won't make a fuss about Jikook not Jikooking in an episode that aired in the past. *Straight face: They ain't slick.

As for JK, it's just the need to reestablish an emotional connection with his partner after a fight to make him feel safe and secure about his emotional connection with his man.

Any physical proximity, touchiness, affection etc goes a long way of reassuring him that everything is alright, that his relationship is safe. It's part of his love language. Jimin's too. But they both lowkey exhibit anxious attachment styles among others which is another blog for another day.

I gotta go cry somewhere because Jikook is just so cute!

Needless to say, this is for entertainment purposes and everything said in here is just my opinion. It's not intended to be malicious or disrespectful in any way to anyone mentioned in here. Don't be weird about it.

Signed,

Goldy

[sakuric]

the story of us

pairing!oikawa tooru x gn!reader

wc!1482

warnings!some curse words

genre!fluff

a long awaited game—or rematch, as tooru liked to call it—with karasuno sparked a warrior flame within the volleyball players of aoba johsai. you had never seen a game as intense as the one going on right before your eyes from where you stood in the bleachers. the fangirls up there with you kept shouting at oikawa everytime his serves weren’t received, to your absolute dismay and annoyance.

karasuno’s captain groaned at, yet another blocked spike. another point lost and another embarrassing moment against their enemies. all of karasuno were burned out; the captain was furious, the wing spikers and blockers started feeling demotivated to the core and the setter, oikawa’s least favourite, was switched out with the silver-haired player on the bench.

and that’s exactly what seijoh wanted.

“mr. refreshing’s on the court, guys, we can lay back on the aggressive play.” oikawa sneered loudly, getting ready to serve.

“shut up, shithead, and make sure your serve doesn’t get received.” iwaizumi retorted. oikawa huffed from where he stood near the end of the court. he’s always enjoyed the feeling of the volleyball snug in his hands, and he’s always enjoyed the sweet, sweet taste of a successful serve. he took a deep breath, zoning everything out so he could perfectly send the ball over and earn his team another point. he lets out a soft puff of breath through his lips.

the ball was sent to the air with a gentle toss of his hand. his eyes were locked onto the multi-coloured ball. you could hear the squeaking of his shoes as he chased after the ball, brown eyes quickly flicking to where he wanted the ball to land. with laser-sharp focus, he zeroed in on the spot.

it all happened way too quickly for you to discern. within the blink of an eye, you could hear the loud, satisfying smack of the ball against the floor of the court. and then, a triumphant cheer from the white and teal-clad boys to the right of your line of sight.

so that’s what they call a service ace, you internally mused to yourself.

karasuno was in distress, you could clearly see the number five, whom you knew as bald head (via tooru) or tanaka, very obviously agitated with yet another service ace, sweat dripping down his forehead. the small tangerine-haired spiker seemed determined enough, not at all showing signs of giving up just yet. tobio-chan stepped back up on the court like the saviour that he was crowned to be. oikawa was craving the taste of revenge—he craved to see karasuno lose and feel how his team felt.

the score was 24-25, aoba johsai in the lead. from the last point onward, the game became intense. oikawa served once again, but this time number five recovered and received the ball perfectly. a few grunts left the lips of seijoh’s players, but they regained their forms and got ready for an intense play.

with a swift move and a strong spike, the ball was about to hit the floor on aoba johsai’s side. oikawa quickly dived down and received the ball with his palm splayed flat on the ground. no one noticed anything, but oikawa’s fingers weren’t in the right shape it should be in.

as he went to set the ball, his fingers cracked and a groan left his lips. the coach immediately called for him upon noticing—he should’ve known better; coach would never let anything slip past so easily. he got switched out and was led to the nurse’s office by you.

“tsk… this is so stupid.” tooru groaned, massaging the inside of his palm as you two walked.

“what is?”

“that i can’t play.”

“maybe if you let the libero do his job, you wouldn't be worrying about this,” you snarked.

“oh shut up, as if you’d play better than me.” oikawa rolled his eyes.

you and him always had this frosty back-and-forth banter. he never liked your guts and neither did you. you two finally arrived at the nurses office to be met by a sign on the door; ‘nurse is on lunch break’

“i guess you’ll have to tape me up, doctor y/n.” tooru smirked teasingly, walking into the office behind you.

“it’s not like i have any other choice.” you mumbled in defeat, ordering for him to sit down so you can tape him up and get this over with.

“wow, since when are you so bossy?”

“you know, tooru, if you keep talking to me, i’ll purposefully take a longer time to tape you and you won't get to see karasuno losing.” you retorted, a smug grin painted on your face. he groaned when you added the disinfecting cream, and when you started cleaning up his wound.

“tooru, i swear to god, stop groaning!”

“it hurts!”

“what, do you want me to kiss it better or something?!” sarcasm laced your voice as you tried to tape his fingers up as neatly as possible.

“i’d like that, actually.”

“sit still and shut up.” you mumbled, trying to hide the blush creeping on your face. you didn't want him to know that you didn't actually hate him, and that he could have this stupid effect on you.

“don't lie to me, you’d like that too..” he smirked, a smug grin painted across his face.

“no, not at all actually. i’d like your lips far away from mine.” you mumbled.

“who said about kissing on the lips?” he asked, raising a brow.

“i- shut up, tooru.” you plastered an icy, practiced smile on your face, embarrassment blooming in the pit of your stomach. you didn't want him to kiss you, because you couldn't bear the thought of it later. and now that you admitted to thinking about it, it makes it all a hundred times worse. oikawa tooru didn't like you in that way, hell, he didn't even like you. he made it clear that he would never want anything to do with you back when you were first years. but that was two years ago, maybe things changed?

you looked up and saw tooru looking at you with a soft grin on his face.

“you know, you look pretty cute when you’re focused.”

“so suddenly i’m cute? i thought you hated my guts.” you scoffed.

“who said that?”

“you did, back when we were first years and when you decided that we could never be anything more than enemies.” you mumbled the last part, finishing up taping his fingers and letting him go. cleaning his wounds gave you enough time to grow attached to the way his fingers looked, and the thought of how they’d look intertwined with yours, the way they’d feel holding your face, how they’d feel caressing your cheeks.

you were fighting the urge to just lay your head on his wounded hand, but you knew that you couldn't, and that was because of two reasons: you’d hurt him more than he’s already hurt, and it’d be awkward to explain.

it’s like oikawa read your mind when he grabbed your face and pulled you closer, despite his hand being wounded. his lips embraced yours in a warm, yet delicate kiss, not letting even a millimetre of yours get untouched.

you pulled away, stepping a few steps away from him. he sighed. “sorry, i totally forced myself on you, but i didn't want you thinking i hate you.” oikawa apologised and stood up, his tall figure casted a shadow over you. oikawa’s body brushed past you as he left the nurses office. you quickly caught up to him and pulled him down by his collar. “is it true?”

“is what true?”

“that you don't hate me?” you spoke, honestly, you asking the question was just an excuse to pull him into another kiss.

“i don't,” he chuckled. “was the kiss not good enough proof? or do you want me to kiss you again?” tooru smirked, puckering his lips playfully. he didn't expect you to actually lean in and kiss his lips again. this time, you both were kissing back and both felt at bliss.

“if anything, i like you, y/n.” he spoke after you both pulled away to take a breather. “let’s get back to the match, eh? wouldn't want them questioning what took so long.”

tooru placed a hand on your waist as you two walked back. and, to your surprise, the match was already over. seijoh won! the long awaited revenge was taken, but oikawa was happy not because of that.

he was happy because, finally, he let you know how he felt. and he didn't care if you didn't feel the same, all he wanted was to feel your lips on his at least once. now, he’s gotten more than he bargained for but hey, who was he to complain when he’s got the person of his dreams in his arms?

© all work written by sakuric is not to be posted on any other writing app or website without notice. if it is found to be reposted without consent, rightful action will be taken.

thank you to @elixhirs for beta-ing this piece!

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