#i don't want ANYbody EVER feeling that way. not if i can even try to help y'know?

[ziminy]

If you love me tonight

You moved in with Toji out of convenience, however, you two started to get along way too good, it's getting suspicious

Tags: smut, minors and ageless blogs do not interact, f!reader, college au, friends with benefits, roommates, oral (f!receiving) (lots of it), both of you have a crush on each other, fingering, virginity loss, humping, bad language, phone sex, basically just me writing this with my inexistent dick, not proofread

Author's note: happy valentine to all my girlies out there. I can't be there to make your day better but hope this fic will 😘

Author's note: I was going to post this sooner but I was out the whole day and didn't got the time to.

Masterlist roommatesmasterlist

You were in the same friend group, because somehow, out of nowhere, you were dragged into this group of dorks one day while walking around the school. And now you're stuck with them. Even so, you and Toji never really talked.

Yes you do have each other's numbers, yes you follow every single one of his social media accounts and he followed yours. And yes, you were seeing each other every single day. But you never really had the balls to talk to him.

It was something about him that made you feel intimidated. The whole group had you like that for the first two weeks since they adopted you, but you got over it after one night of partying too hard, almost puking in Satoru's car while he was taking you home. Waking up the next day with the whole gang in your place, scattered all over your room and sleeping like they didn't had other places to be.

You realized that they're idiots, every single one of them. It didn't matter how scary Sukuna looked with his tattoos and his shitty attitude, because deep down he was just a dumbass who was awkward at making jokes. He was so bad at them that the first few times you actually took his words seriously.

Or the trio, Gojo, Geto and Shoko who were just them. You don't really have anything to say about them since you see them so much you feel like the forth wheel to their tricycle.

The only normal person in that group was Nanami, but even he could lose control over himself. Like when he's drunk. How can you forget about the time you managed to steal his watch right from his wrist because he fell asleep while talking. You gave it back, but you still think about it from time to time and you still can't believe it how much he changes.

And you can't forget about Choso who when you first met him you thought he was going to drink your blood because he was dresses like a vampire lord. He looked so edgy, how could you have known that he cries while watching princess movies. Which, you're still surprised about it and you promised not to talk about it ever again. For his own good.

Now, it's not like you don't want to get close to Toji, it's just that unlike the others, he was the same as when you first met him. The same charismatic smile on, the same fuck ass attitude and how he seems to keep everybody at a relatively close distance. He was open about everything, but at the same time he looked like he was always lying. And you didn't know if you should take him seriously or pass it as a joke.

You were scared, and maybe it was from the way he posses, the way he dresses and talks. He wasn't trying to impress anybody, and it made you wander how he ended up in the group. Because he always seems to want to pick fights from the way he interacts with others.

That scar of his, you know it was rude to stare, but you just could not stop. It made your eyes instantly move on him when he opens his mouth, because it was something about the way his lips moves, and that shit eating grin. He was bad and he knows it, that's perhaps what made you afraid of him.

"Y/N, what happened?" it was a rainy night when the white haired man opened his door, revealing you who was soaked from head to toes, still in pijamas and a bag with what he could only guess were the essentials in your arms.

"I got in a fight with my roommates. Can I come in?" you said like you didn't just ran from home.

"What happened this time?" he knew your situation wasn't really bright but he didn't thought it was that bad.

"I don't know. Just woke up with them screaming at me. Women, what can I say." you shrugged, not understanding what got into them either. "Anyway, can I sleep here tonight?"

"Of course. Go take a bath, we'll talk about this after." you didn't thought much when you opened the front door, just running to the closest person that lives near to you. It was moments like these where you're glad you didn't blocked Gojo the first time he tried to get in your dms.

"So, what happened?" Shoko asked, looking at you who just got out the shower. Satoru was exaggerating, he shouldn't have called the whole group there.

"My roommates wants me out the house." not really surprising from the way they kept acting for the past few weeks.

"You should move out. Those girls are out of control." the blonde said, looking like he was dragged out of bed to be there, still in pijamas. But it wasn't surprising that he rushed there when he heard your name being involved.

"I agree. This is going nowhere." Suguru was right, your situation only escalated with each day that passed.

"Want me to get rid of them?" omg, Sukuna shut up.

"So, again. What happened this time?" at least Shoko was the normal one in there.

"They want to get their boyfriends in or something. But there's not enough space because of me apparently." maybe it was your fault too for not trying to get to know your roommates. But you can't blame yourself since they're attitudes turned you off.

"We'll find a new place, don't worry." you hoped so too.

"Daddy will pay for it. I'll get you an apartment in the same building as me." the white haired man said, making you shake your head instantly. You'll never be able to financially recover from this if he does that.

"I want a small place, just a room is alright if I can sleep in peace." it wasn't just about you here. I mean, sure, your opinion counts, but how can a room be enough for everybody? If you get a place it wasn't just yours, it belonged to the whole group somehow. Because what does privacy even means when you have such a big group of friends.

And so, from the moment the sun came out the next day, everybody started looking for a place cozy enough to fit your imagine, a home that you could call your own with a smile on your face. And big enough to not look like a doll house.

Everybody was on their own, because why working together when you can work individually and get the thing done even faster? However, you didn't expected Toji to approach you when you were at school, hands in his pocket and looking just as nonchalantly as ever. Does he ever get bored of wearing just black clothes?

"Heard you're looking for a place." not a hi, how are you. He just got straight to the subject. Well, he wasn't good at small talk to begin with, and because of that he often comes out as rude.

"Oh, yeah. I am." you nodded, looking at the big man who seems to have been working out more lately.

"Me too." really? You had no idea. "Looking for a roommate or something? We could share the rent." i mean, it didn't sounded bad. That way you had more options to chose from, since you won't be living alone.

"Sure. Why not." that was surprisingly easy. He thought you would say no or something about how you'll think about it. But if you're being honest, you don't think you could live alone. You're always surrounded by people. At home and here, you're never alone, and you have no idea what to if you're by yourself.

And now, you had to let others know about it. But if you're thinking about this, you don't think you can do it. I mean, you know that they'll exaggerate. How could you accepted someone's else help when they're trying so hard. But to your surprise, this wasn't as hard as you thought.

Everybody accepted your choice without a single complain. So what if you're moving in with a guy, they knew him. After all, Toji was one of their idiots, and everybody knew how he was so busy that he's rarely home to begin with. There's nothing to be afraid because they all knew where he lived if he dared to get too close to you. After all, you were such a sweetheart, how could they let anyone harm you in any way possible?

And now they had a new task. Find a better place for you to stay at, and make Toji pay more than 70% of the rent, because how dare he ask for you to move with him and make you pay 50/50. But the dark haired man was quicker than the rest, texting you before anyone else could about this place that he found near your college, and if you wanna go and see it.

Hell yeah. You spend no time and went there as soon as you could, now being in front of a nicely looking building. Somehow, you were surprised by how good it was looking, sure, it wasn't anything fancy, it didn't look expensive and over your budget, you're just surprised to see that it's well taken care of. You're standards were already low, plus he managed to find this place in such a short time. It was normal to be surprised.

How can you forget that Toji was part of the group too. Everybody had connections, you wouldn't be surprised if they're actually in some kind of underground organization and they took you in just to look more innocent.

But man, he knew what he was doing. The whole place looked so nice.

The apartment was on the second floor, being welcomed by a small hallway with a built in closet where you could store jackets and shoes. And after opening one more door, you were now in the living room that was shared with an open kitchen, a not so big couch in the middle of the room and two doors next to each other somewhere behind it. Those must be the bedrooms. But now that you're looking around, there were actually three doors, a small bathroom in the corner that had a pretty big bathtub. You're surprised it even fits in there.

And there even was a balcony, you couldn't fit more than two chairs in total but still. You now had a balcony.

"What do you think?" he asked, looking at you as he was waiting for your answer. He had to make a few phone calls to get this place, but it was better than to wait for those fuckers to do something.

"When can we move in?" by the end of the week you were already in there.

But you couldn't just spend the first day in there all alone, after all, it was an important date. The whole group had to be there, now inspecting the place like they're about to buy it.

"I don't like it. The bathroom it's too small." Sukuna said, trying to convince you to move to the place he chose.

"It's not too late to move in the same building as me. I found a three bedroom, two bathroom apartment on the third floor. I couldn't fine anything smaller than that." Satoru too was trying to convince you.

"I talked to my old landlady and she said you can move in whenever you want." even Nanami was trying to convince you to move out.

"Is this your bedroom?" everybody's eyes were on Choso.

"Me first." the white haired man ran there, jumping in your bed and being welcomed with a loud bang.

He broke your bed, he really just broke your bed.

"I was gonna sleep there." Shoko looked at the bed that was half on the floor and half still standing.

"Damn." nobody expected this to happen. "You're paying for this." your roommate said, not wanting to pay a single buck for something he didn't do.

Well, guess that now the plan changed. Originally everybody wanted to sleep over in case you didn't adjusted to the new place, but now they went home. Leaving you alone with your new roommate.

"Where are you sleeping tonight?" you asked, looking at him getting out the kitchen with a bottle of water in his hand.

"In my room." then what about you? "Do I look like I fit on the couch?" and who's fault was it that he was so buffed?

"Good night.." you looked at him walking towards a door, opening it and leaving as wide as it could.

"This place is pretty bring even at night." you could see that.

Did he left the door open so you won't feel alone? He was surprisingly considerate. Well, you can't say that you're sacred of the dark or of the loneliness the night gives. You were surrounded by people who cared for you, it's not like you could simply just be afraid.

The next day you woke up with your back hurting, and someone at your door. Apparently, Gojo just got you a new bed so you won't be mad at him for what he did. A hard wood bed a lot bigger than the last one, taking more space of your room, but comfortable.

"At least he's good at something." your roommate said after the men that brought the furniture left.

"I'm surprised the bed broke from that much." the furniture was old and it needed to be changed at some points, but he wasn't going to tell you that. He might bring Gojo there more often, and who knows, he might as well refurnish whole house.

"Who knows." he shrugged.

"Are you free later?"

"Why?"

"I was going to buy a few things, just the essentials since we don't really have much." he shouldn't get more involved or he'll wake up with a hit man aiming for his head.

"I'm busy." he noticed the pout on your face right away. "Buy whatever you want." it's not like he haves a saying in this anyway.

"What if you won't like it?" he will like it or he won't be able to see the light of tomorrow.

"I'm fine with whatever." he said, but you still couldn't help but overthink a little.

"So he's giving you an attitude?" Shoko raised an eyebrow, walking around the store with you since you didn't wanted to go alone.

"I wouldn't call it an attitude since that's how he usually is." you said, looking at towels to buy.

"Put a hand here, behind his head, and one under his chin, move them in whatever direction you want and he'll be gone in the blink of an eye." you invited Suguru thinking that he'd be useful with caring your stuff for you. But he wasn't being useful at all.

"I'm not planning on killing anybody. Just needed your opinion on stuff. Is this bland enough or should I look for something even simpler?" you can't fill the house with everything you want, you have to think of other's opinions too.

"I like this one." Geto picked something with the brightest pink ever known to man. "Give this to Toji, I'm sure he'll like it." it hurts you own eyes, how are you supposed to give it to him.

"Go to the car. I'll call you when were done." Shoko tried to get him to leave. This was going nowhere. "If you're not sure about this then move in with me. I'm tired being around these clowns anyway."

"Clowns are the ones who aren't here with us." said Suguru.

"You still haven't left?" they're not going to fight in the middle of the store, are they?

You should have picked someone else for this task. It's impossible to get anything done with them here.

Well, maybe they're right. Think about yourself too. It's hard sharing a house, but that's how it is. You'll learn each other's tastes somewhere in the future, and then you can buy better stuff. You're not here to fill the house anyway, you're here to buy a few cups and towels, maybe get something on the side for yourself but that's pretty much it.

After a lot longer time than you expected, you finally got home.

How could you forget that you're not the only one living here, your friends also think of this place as their own. Of course they had to get a few stuff for themselves, to leave it in here so they could mark their territory.

Shoko reserved the balcony, smoking in there every time she gets the chance, and Suguru even chose his place on the couch, marking it with a heart shaped pillow just to piss the others off.

And the fridge, it wasn't just the things you like, there was all kind of alcohol and sweets bought by Satoru alongside other stuff that everybody enjoyed.

You were a bit concerned at first, but maybe this place wasn't that bad, especially since everybody seems to like it. I mean, you also liked it, but your friends opinions were also important. And your roommate it's somehow so considerate that you feel like you need to be doing more.

He looks and acts like a brute, but he's actually walking on thin ice. All the things he's doing at home are because your friends are making him to, and he's complying because it's not like he haves anything better to do.

Why he's acting like this is a mystery to him too. It's just.. you're you. The way everyone is all over you overwhelm him. He'd be lying if he says he's not curious, but again, he doesn't dare to do anything that out his power.

You do talk, I mean, it would be weird not to, since you live together. But it's always just the usual small talk. A hello here and there, did you eat, how was your day. And you're comfortable with your current relationship.

But soon everything was about to change.

It was a friday night, where you happened to be at home. Because why going out when you can relax in your bed for once?

You went into the kitchen, looking for some snacks, or something to drink during your movie. But while you were looking around you heard the front door, making you turn your head, waiting for who ever came.

It was your roommate, with a plastic bag in his hand, who somehow looked surprised to see you there. The others were all busy with something, so he thought you'd be out.

"Welcome back." you said, going back to your previous activity, back to your hunting.

"Yeah." he came into the kitchen, leaving the bag on the dining table along with his phone, now looking in his pockets for other stuff he's supposed to get out. "Heard Gojo is throwing another party tonight."

"He told me he's going to a party." you said, suddenly remember what the white haired man told you. "But it's always turning into his party, so I guess you're correct." every party that he attends it's suddenly his party, like he organized it.

"Same thing." he took some car keys out his pocket, making you raise an eyebrow. Since when does Toji haves a car?

"Ah." he looked at the metal piece with an expressionless face. "I was supposed to give this to Gojo before I left." no wander the keys looks familiar. "Whatever, he'll find someone to drive him home. No big deal." you let out a laugh, shaking your head and taking a bag of chips in your hands.

"You drink tea?" you asked, looking at the cans of ice tea he got out the bag.

"This is Suguru's." the dark haired man put them in the fridge. "I'm not dying to drink tea." you could recognize that brand anywhere, it was that bitter tea Suguru recently started drinking. Mostly to make Satoru stop drinking his stuff. "I like this instead." your roommate got a beer out. "Tea is for pussies."

"I like tea." you followed him with your eyes as he sat down at the small table that seemed like it was especially made for that kitchen. He didn't said anything for a moment, looking at you and then at the beer in his hand.

"Water, tea, the same thing." he clicked his tongue. "It's better than this." he raised his beer for a moment, shaking his head like he's disappointed with his choice of words.

"I want some too. Beer, I mean." you couldn't really pass his strange attitude as a joke.

"Do whatever you want." he sighed, taking a sip of his drink and trying to forget what he just said.

You sat down next to him, opening the bottle and taking a sip of it. "It taste as strange as I remember."

"You don't have to like it to just do it." he took another sip, turning his head towards the window and looking out of it.

"You're right." it went silent after that. Well, usually your conversations don't last this long. This was just one of those days where you're testing the boundaries, get a new record on the amount of words you said to each other. It's normal to be awkward, so it was alright. It was some improvement, so you can't say that this was a failure.

Suddenly, his phone started ringing, making both of you to turn your heads at it. He took the small metal box in his hand, looking at the screen with an annoyed face and then to respond.

"Yeah." he said nonchalantly, loud music could be heard from the other side of the phone, making your roommate move it away from his ear. "Your keys are with me." you couldn't help but laugh, suddenly remember about who's keys were on the table next to your hand. "No." he said and hanged up.

"Was it Satoru?" you asked, but you already knew the answer from the way he rolled his eyes, his shoulders dropping like some weight was lifted from them.

"Why would he leave his keys with me to begin with." your voice filled the room as you laughed. This is the first time you laughed to anything he said, and it took him by surprise because he wasn't expecting this.

"He does that." it went quiet again. But then, again, it didn't lasted for long. Because somehow, you wanted to talk more. Maybe it was the beer in your hand, or the atmosphere that gave you confidence to talk more. "Actually, I want to ask you something." his eyes was on you. "If you don't mind me asking."

"What is it?" he took a sip of his beer again, letting his back rest against the chair he's on.

"How did you ended friends with the others? I've been thinking about it for a while. It's a really strange group, so I can't help but be curious." you tried to come up with an explanation for your question, but you're not sure if you're sure of your own words.

"I was one time at this party." he said, trying to remember how it went. "Gojo was hosting it at his house, and somehow I got there. Don't really remember if I was trying to break in or was invited." he payed attention to your face, and at how you seemed so focused on him. "I stole a few stuff and I tried to sell it to this girl, at the same party. But turns out that she was doing the same thing as me, so perhaps I did, or perhaps not, threatened her, so she snitched on me."

"What happened after?" he thought you'd say that what he did was wrong, or try to lecture him about it. But no, you actually seemed invested.

"I snitched on her too, obviously." you laughed, again and again tonight. Surprisingly, he was a lot funnier than he looks like. But he too was taken by surprise at how easy going you seemed to be around him.

"I wish I had a cool story like that. I just bumped into them at school and well, I'm here now, so I guess you know what happens after."

"If I bumped into them at school they would beat my ass." you took it as a joke, even if you knew it was true.

"I wouldn't." probably. "But I'm glad nothing happened."

"Yeah, nothing happened." he looked away, avoiding your eyes as he drank more.

"No way?" you gasped. "What happened? Did you got in a fight?" believe it or not, most of the people in your group are here because of a fight, but if you don't know he won't tell you.

"It's getting late." he said, taking your beer away. "I'll take this, you go sleep."

"I want to know what happened next."

"Not now." he's really going to leave you hanging after letting such a bomb on you?

He pushed you to your room, closing the door after and leaving you all alone in there.

Guess you can say that was the start of a great friendship. Because after that night you became so much more open, perhaps a bit too open. But that's just how you guys were. At least in private, when nobody else was there.

When there were more people in there, you go back to your awkward self, keeping some distance so nobody would say a thing. It's not like you're hiding anything, so who were you like this? It was a mystery.

But then again, how you two got close was an even bigger anomaly. And it was about to become even stranger than before.

It was a beautiful morning when you woke up, the sun was up and shining like it was payed to do so. And somehow, it was annoying. The past few days have been so annoying in fact, and you can't really tell anybody about it.

But even so, you went into the living room, looking to see if anybody was there. And of course there was.

Your roommate sitting at the dining table, in the kitchen, scrolling through his phone and looking like he'd rather do something else. You get it, you would rather be productive in that moment, or do something with your life that would get your mind away from whatever you're going through at the moment.

You went into the kitchen, opening the cabinets and looking for any bottle of alcohol brought over by your friends.

"Drinking this early?" he moved his eyes awya from his phone, looking at you looking some a glass to drink from.

"I'm going through an existential crisis." your mind was all over the place, and so was your pussy, but again, you would rather not talking about it.

"It's that bad, huh?" he would make fun of you, but you were clearly having it bad. "You're sure you wanna drink?" he'd rather have you be the sweet thing that moved in with him, drinking wasn't your thing, even if you do it from time to time. "Want me to take care of it?" he thought you're having trouble with someone. I mean, why else would you be like this?

"Huh?" you placed the bottle down. "I heard it hurts? So I'm not really sure about it."

"I mean, depends? How bad is it?" he was going to beat who ever did you wrong.

You stood there for a moment, thinking about what he just said. Does he know? Is it that obviously? "It's ovulation week, you know how it is. Same old, same old." oh, well, he'll sit down on this one, you got it. "How did you know?" you two were on two different lines, completely parallel to one another.

"Ah.. that." there was something changed about you, more than just your grumpy attitude. You had a sweet smell, but he thought it was your perfume or something. "Just knew, I guess." he doesn't know what to tell you, leave it aside.

"I mean.." please brush it aside, he thought you were having problems would a dude, like a boy problem or whatever it's called. He haves no idea what is actually going on. "I never did it before so dunno what to tell you. I'm a bit scared, if I'm being honest." perhaps he needs the alcohol.

He too shouldn't had pushed it, but he's a fucker, and he loves pushing things around, poking and provoking people. And perhaps he wants a few answers out of you.

"Never?" you shook your head, blinking a few times and tilting your head to the side, waiting for what he'll say next. "Then I can't help you." he wasn't going to do that to begin with. "Gotta find someone else." it was obvious he was joking, you knew him and his shit ass humor. So why were you looking at him like that? With big eyes, curious, and a bit of mischief in them.

"I wasn't planning on doing anything to begin with." you got him sweating for a moment. He thought you'd ask him to do something. "You did it tho, didn't you?" does he looks like a virgin to you? "Can't I ask a few questions? I'm curious about it."

"Aren't you supposed to ask a girl or something?"

"I like getting informations about it from both sides." you sat down on the other side of the table, opposite of him. "How is it?"

"Same as always?" he haves no idea what to tell you. He should have let you drink some alcohol, because he haves no idea what to tell you. "How is it for you?" this haves to embarrass you, make you all shy and run away.

"Wet." he haves to admit, you keep hitting him when he's least expecting. You should stop playing with him like this. "I'm either like this all day or get triggered easily." triggered? Is that how you wanna call it? "I can't look at anything for too long without feeling a pool in my pants." you sighed.

"You can get someone to help you." you could. But then again, do you want to?

"Dick comes with problems. So I'd rather not." those were some words he never expected to hear from you. But at the same time, it responds to a lot of his questions.

You're always home, avoiding people outside your group of friends, not getting too close or friendly to people. No wander he never heard about you having any dates, like, ever.

"Get care of it yourself." what other options you have? You're giving him that look again, come on, stop playing with him and his feelings. Your eyes, sad, and a bit disappointed. Like you didn't want to hear that, especially from him. But what else do you want him to say? There's a line between joking and getting serious, and you know he'll never cross it. Unless you're clearly asking him for it, because he personally won't do shit. "Have you ever been eaten out?" he realized what he said only after he opened his mouth.

His words hit both of you, like a third person said it, not him. You both looked surprised at each other, now waiting for an explanation.

"I mean." did he really wanted to know, was he actually asking you or was this one of his other plays? In the end, you shook your head, not really knowing what to say. "Did you?" did he now?

"A few times while drunk." you were always all ears when he's telling a story, and you have no idea what it does to him. No one else reacts the way you do, and now he's always left disappointed when he's telling a story and the reactions are mediocre. "I was told I did a pretty good job." but now he's actually trying to figure out, remember, if he actually did a good job or the girls were all dumb from his dick.

"Then you must be good at it?" is that an invitation? Are you trying to provoke him? Are you telling him that you don't believe it and he should show you? Because if you feed his ego a little more he might actually show you.

"Got them screaming my name and shit." he was trying hard, like, so hard to play nonchalantly. But he's really not fine at all inside. You seem to only want answers for your dumb questions, not to actually want to know how he feels.

"I see." was that it?

"It doesn't hurt if it's not sex." now, here's where's when he's pushing the buttons. But he's trying to let you know, if you want it, it doesn't have to be his cock necessarily. It can be other stuff too, like let him have a little taste, show you that he's true to his words and his stories are no joke. He's real, the things he said are real, and he can make you feel something more real than anything you experience.

He can answer your questions, no, show you. You want to know about intimacy, right? He can make you feel it. But that all is going to cost you.

Dick comes with problems, and your not horny enough to beg for those problems yet.

"I know." you said, getting up from the table and going back to your bottle of alcohol. "Sometimes I like pain, you know? It feels good in it's own way." he needs a better answer than that. He won't take some vaguely words as a green light. "Anyway, this is mine now. Hope it will put me out to sleep." you said before going back to your room.

So this was it? You really are going to ask him all that and leave him alone? What is he supposed to do now? He made a fool of himself, you must think that he's some kind of clown. He can't believe he threw himself at what he thought was an opportunity.

But to his surprise, you really treated as a joke. Like you do this all the time, talk, provoke one another, or at least try.

No, it's alright. As long as you're not mad at him everything is fine. Or he thought.

Because the next day you came back to him, asking questions again.

"So like, oral right? How is it?" you might as well ask him to show it to you. You seemed to interested in knowing, but you don't dare to actually practice it. "Does it hurt? I mean, it might not, but still."

"It doesn't." that was reassuring, it lifted something off your chest.

"How long does it last?"

"Depends from person to person, it's like sex. It's different for everybody." for a thug like him, he was surprisingly indulging. Answering your questions, with care, and a calm voice. Like we knew one wrong move and he'll scare you away. "You're really that curious about it?" you nodded. It was normal to be curious of the unknown, no? "Why don't I should you?"

You bite your lip, looking at your hands, playing with your fingers a little and then looking back at him. "Sure."

You ended up on the couch in no time, pants on the floor, and tshirt all the way up, revealing your tiddies to the cool air. His eyes were on your panties, who had a visible wet spot on them.

It was embarrassing, the way he was eyeing you, up and down, looking at everything he wouldn't usually see.

He'll spare you this once, because it was the first time you done this. But he'll also pay extra extra attention to you, just in case if you're planning on asking for more in the future to know who to go to.

Your panties now on the floor alongside your pants, and Toji positioning better between your legs. Placing them over his shoulders so he knows he's secured there, close to your wet dripping pussy.

Call him a bit delusional, or even crazy, but he loved it there. How your juices were all over the place, waiting for him to do something, wanting him to calm the aching between your legs, calling his name. And he won't let you wait.

Dragging you closer to him, he wrapped his hands around your legs, placing soft kisses on your burning skin. And that alone was making you squirm around. But somehow this feels new to him too, because he never fucks around with people like you. So, him being in this position was as foreign as it felt for you.

He's never this attentive, careful with his touches. Caressing your thighs, and softly lapping at your sweet nectar. He's letting you breath, not just fucking your brains out. And it was weirder because this was so out of character. But it didn't matter, at the moment he couldn't care less of how he's acting.

He was circling your clit, licking it and kissing it all over. Looking up at you to see how you're doing, it only make him laugh at your reactions. If you asked him what he'll think of this situation a few weeks ago he'd say it was absurd, but noe he's loving it.

"Don't hide your voice, let me hear it." he placed a kiss on your clit before inserting one of his fingers into you with ease. It was so warm inside, and slippery, he had no other choice but add another finger. This time a little harder but it was alright, because you seem to take him so well.

You really got him overthinking this, and it was annoying because he feels like his confidence is evaporating. You got him sucking on your pearl while slowly curling his fingers inside you, way too slowly because he's afraid he might hurt you. And if he does that, he'll throw himself out the window.

He should laugh at himself, because this was stupid. He should ask you how you're feeling, but he's too prideful after all that talk earlier.

He said he's the best, he promised to give you an unforgeable experience, to make you come back to him. He can't show any signs of weakness. What if you'd think he's less of an man after that?

So, now he's stuck on sucking the life out of you, moving his fingers faster, his touch a lot rougher without even realizing. But you didn't said anything about it, only going with your hands through his hair and tugging at it lightly.

His eyes had something dark in them, like he couldn't even realize what he's doing anymore, lost in his own world as he tried to prove to you he's no pussy. He can make you cum like never before, you'll even beg him for more. So just wait a little longer, he'll show you.

He came back to his senses the moment you said his name, making him freeze for a second as he looked up at you. You're lucky he's not going all the way in today, he would have fucked you up for that look you're giving him. "Too much?" he's indulging today, he haves to remind himself that. He can't let his control slip for even a moment.

"A bit." you had a few tears in your eyes, and all he's wandering is what are you going to do if you're going to take things further? Crying from this much? You won't even be able to cockwarm him.

Believe it or not, he haves full control over himself. He's all about control, he always knows what he wants and what to do. But you, you little unpredictable thing, you make him rethink his life's decisions. Did he actually knew what he wanted? Because now his brain is upsidedown, not being able to think rationally.

Even in moments like these, jumping from bed to bed, he was always the one who decides everything. And yet, right now he's doing everything to your heart's desire.

Is he too rough? Do you want it softer? He'll do it however the fuck you want. Because who is he to begin with when it comes to you?

And instead of making fun of him, or ordering him around, you give him those puppy eyes. Careful with your touch as your hands brush against his skin, making him lean in for more, like he's some kind of pet waiting for his reward.

He's going crazy, he's absolutely going insane.

"That's.." you sighed, not even being able to finish your sentence. But he understood it perfectly. You don't have to tell him anything, he gets it. He'd be too stupid not to.

You want to come? Do it. He'll claim everything all for himself. He'll take it, and he'll even try to pull out more from you if you allow him to.

You let out some soft sounds, moans barely audible, too shy to let anything out loud. But he liked it, even if he was talking about making others scream, he didn't expected that from you. Especially when he's not even trying to.

Right now it was all about seeing how far you can take it. What you'll give him. And about making you trust him more. He won't push you, so give him everything you want.

You're so cute when you cum, and you have no idea. He might seriously be in love right now, and even he doesn't know it.

This haves to be ridiculous, like a thing you'd only see in circus, a type of charade especially made for movies for idiots. He doesn't think he can let you go just yet. He want to see something more, feel more. See something you haven't showed him yet. And the ridiculous part is that even he doesn't know why exactly he's doing this, why he feels like this.

"One more?" he asked, getting up from between your legs, and placing them on either sides of his body. He was waiting for your answer, an affirmation that gives him even more control over what he's about to do next.

"One more?" wasn't once enough? You don't think you ever managed to orgasm this hard in your life. He must be a wizard, because his hands are magical.

"You're still so wet, don't you want more?" well, you did feel like something was missing, but your body feels so heavy. And he already did so much, you feel bad to let him do everything.

"I do, but-" he didn't even let you finish.

"Then do you not trust me?"

"It's not that."

"Did it not feel good?" he leaned down, caging you between him and the couch, his face against yours as he looked down to where your private parts were.

"You did. It's just.. I want to do something for you too." you're just so cute. He was going to bite those cheeks of yours.

"And I want to do you. Let me do it and we'll figure it out after." he was going to sweet talk you until you give him a more acceptable answer.

"Alright." you give up so fast. But you did good, so he might as well give you something to think about.

One of his hands went back between your legs, slowly pushing two fingers inside your warm core, purposely positioning over you in a way that it makes you feel more of him. In a way that would play with your mind that his cock is actually going in, that's he's fucking you in that moment even if he wasn't.

He's playing with you, he's guilty of it. But he realized that if he's not giving you a little push then you'll never do anything on your own. So, he's giving you a little preview, to show you that it's not that different from what he's doing now. Even if it was, how would you know?

"How is it?" he asked, moving some of your hair away from your face.

"It feels different from before." because last time he didn't even tried going all the way in, mostly focusing on the outside, on your clit that seems desperate for his attention.

"Does it hurt?" you shook your head, leaning more into the couch, letting your body weight drop.

You were squirming around a little, feeling s bit too full of him. It was weird, the way you feel like he's deep into your guts, deeper than he actually is.

And he seems to enjoy this, seeing you struggle as you try to adjust to him. He was bigger than anything you took before, and those were only your fingers.

You shouldn't have been curious, because now look at this, you're stuck with this maniac who seems to take pleasure from seeing you struggle.

Then he started to curl his fingers, hitting a place where it got you gasping. Looking at him with a pout on your face, begging him to stop playing around.

You picked the wrong person, you definitely picked the wrong person. Because he was way too happy about this. Curling his fingers, again and again, giving you no time to think as he kept bullying your insides at a constant pace.

Your hands were tugging at his shirt, shaking when his palm started to move right into your clit. He knew what he was doing, and he didn't seemed to stop until he shows you all of his tricks.

"You're squeezing my fingers." he said, feeling the way your insides tightens around him. "You're cumming already? But it's just getting started." he was talking like he didn't enjoyed this.

"It's too much." you sobbed, making him lean more in, his hand moving at a meaner pace. He was trying to snatch that orgasm out of you, pull it like it was his life's mission.

But then again, if you can't handle this much will you ever be able to handle him? "It's alright, I'm here." not him talking like he wasn't the cause of your current state.

He can't get enough of this, he was going to go insane if you let him play with you more.

The way you're shaking, letting out broken cries as you cum around his fingers. Your hands gripping at him, dragging him closer, like you were trying to use him to shield yourself from the world.

One more, he haves to do it one more time. He doesn't know what he'll do if he doesn't do it one more time.

He was licking your tears away, making you sob as he seemed to press his body into yours. He's all yours, at least for the moment. So do whatever you want, eat him alive, rip those clothes off him and comand him as you please, because he's not going anywhere.

"No more." you shook your head, grabbing his arm in yours to stop him from doing anything more. "I can't take another more."

"Alright." he still stayed on top of you, keeping you trapped as he let some of his body weight fall into yours. Taking some time to calm himself, because he also need it.

He can't believe what he just did. If you didn't said anything he would have fucked up millions. This was the first time something like this happened to him, so he doesn't know how to react.

What even is this feeling? It was madness, it was driving him insane and he haves no idea what to do. You smell sweet, tasty, delicious even, and he only wanders how sweeter you can get.

He can't let this go any further. Picking your clothes from the floor, he dressed you up, now slowly guiding you back to your room.

He should have went out today, because he doesn't know if he can recover from this. Stupid him for being curious. And stupid you for falling right into his arms.

What is he going to tell the others? I mean, he won't say shit, but what if you do? He'll take responsibility if you want, even if he haves no actual idea how. But to his surprise, nothing changed.

You laugh at his dumb jokes, you greet him like always. You were clearly still in friendly terms, that same old distance between the two of you was still there. Everything was exactly the same of how it was before. This plus a bit more touches.

Your hands would touch, and it made both of you freeze. Sometimes you'd sit way too close next to each other and when you realize what's happening you both are staring into the void. Your eyes wanders around too, tracing along your bodies and trying to figure out if there's something new that you haven't seen yet.

You try to play it cool around other people, of course. But sometimes you can't help but wander.

To others, you're still awkward, your relationship haven't changed yet. In a matter of fact, it looked more like you're trying to talk and you don't have the courage yet. It was somehow true, but not in the way people would expect.

You both want to talk, but you don't seem to have the words yet.

That of course was until you happened to be home alone one time. Coming back earlier than usually, and having the whole house to yourself.

You never thought you'll see this place empty, without a single soul in there besides you. It was calming. Like you could finally breathe, sit on the couch and enjoy your time in peace. You even managed to take a nap, stretching your arms and legs as you tried to occupie as much space as possible. There was no one there after all, so you had the sofa all for yourself.

Soft light illuminating the room, even the sounds that are coming from outside are relaxing, like everything decided to be in harmony for you to be able to sleep.

You were tired, these days have been so tiring, it was normal to fall into a deep slumber the first chance you got. You were so gone into the dream world that you didn't even heard the front door, or the guy that got inside who was surprisingly quiet.

He didn't even knew you were home to begin with, he thought you'd probably be out, doing whatever you're usually doing. But then he saw you, laying on the couch, drooling as you didn't seemed to care even a little about anything else than to rest.

He was tired too, his body was aching, but he kept lying to himself that he's good. He kept telling himself that he doesn't need to rest, just yet. That he can go a few more days without some good sleep.

"You're back?" your words got him back to reality, he doesn't even remember since when he kept staring at you. You looked so peaceful, sleeping without a worry, and for some reasons he was jealous.

"Yeah." he took a step backwards, not daring to get any closer than that. He was still giving you so much space especially after what happened between you two.

"Are you tired?" you were still half asleep, you had no idea what you were saying. But he looked tired to you, like he needs to rest for a few minutes.

"A little." he couldn't even think of excuses in that moment, this warm atmosphere you created around you was suffocating. It was playing with his mind, making him feel relaxed.

"Why don't you take a nap?" he's a busy man, he doesn't have the time to do that. "Here." you pointed to the little space that was available on the couch. You must still be asleep because he doubts you would say that to him when you're wide awake.

"I'm good." he haves to go out again anyway, so it's not like he haves the time for that.

"Toji." you said his name softly, a hint of amusement in your voice as you looked at him with a smile on your face. Finally looking at him as you're not avoiding eye contact anymore. "Come here." you didn't sounded demanding or asking for it. And for a little he was tempted, like he was going to allow himself to let himself slide again.

"I have to go back in an hour." he actually doesn't even know what time it is. He was trying to give you an opening to back out.

"That's more than enough time." you pat the place next to you. "Come." you lay down, getting yourself comfortable as you moved to make more space for him to fit. You closed your eyes again, falling back asleep with your arms open, like you knew he'd come.

He doesn't really know what got into him for actually accepting your offer. It's just.. you as a whole. You're so welcoming, so warm, and your scent so confusing. He could practically taste you, and it made his head blurry every single time.

He wrapped his hands around you, his face buried in your neck as he fell asleep way too fast that he would like.

It was supposed to be a quick nap, but both of you woke up in the middle of the night, the sun being long gone as the whole room was filled with darkness.

No one said a thing, just staying in place and trying to remember what exactly happened to get in this situation.

Your arm was sore since his head been on it the whole time, and your body was stiff from the way you stayed in a single position, not having enough space to turn around and do something.

"You're awake?" his voice scared you for a moment, but somehow it calmed you knowing that he was the one next to you.

"Yeah." you're thankful that's it's dark at the moment, not being able to see much. "Are you going back to sleep?"

"Probably." no one moved, you were both in the same position as when you woke up.

You couldn't sleep, and neither could he. You were wide awake, your brain working way to hard on this situation and failing to process a single thought.

"You told me to come." he said. "Take a quick nap."

"I did." at least you remember that much. Don't blame him for anything he didn't do. "What time is it?" he doesn't even know at what time he came home.

"Dunno." and he doesn't want to know.

This is playing with both of your heads, all kind of thoughts filling you. Thinking of the possibilities, of what will happen if someone moves at least a little.

Your heart was beating so hard it might jump out your chest, and he seemed to be in the same situation.

"You know, what happened.." he said, clearing his throat. "Before." how could you not remember? Your pussy took you places you wouldn't go on gunpoint. Being horny wasn't for the weak. "Shit happens sometimes." you're aware of it. You know fully well it's on both of you, it's not only his fault of yours alone.

"I know." but you still can't help but feel a bit.. off. How can you put it in better terms? You're thinking about it every time before going to sleep, the feeling of another person on you, not really skin to skin but closer than you ever been to someone else.

"Don't mind it." he can't tell you not to when it can't leave your mind. Now you want more, as scary as it was, you're craving for more.

"Is it usually like this?" so you weren't going to give him a break after all? He thought he could talk you out, but you're only bringing him problems.

"Like what?" fine, he'll entertain you. He doesn't want to get up to begin with, so ge might as well answer a few more of your questions.

"Awkward? Strange? It left a bitter taste in my mouth and I don't why." he doesn't know why either.

"It's not." at least for him. "I don't feel anything afterwards." he could feel your eyes on him. "Usually." he continued, feeling like he had to explain himself.

"How do you feel now, then?" you're too curious for your own good.

"Like I left something unfinished." so he gets it then. "Empty." it was more like he overdid it, but still not quite enough. "I could have done more."

"More?" you sounded offended. "I thought I saw the light for a moment. What do you mean you could have done more? You're trying to kill me?" he laughed. It's alright if you don't understand.

"I didn't show you how I usually do it, so perhaps that's why I feel like this."

"Why don't you show me then?" you're trying to provoke him? He's trying not to fuck up again like he did last time, not do more.

"Now?" he can't never back down. And who is he to say no to begin with?

"Whenever you want."

"I got the time now." he had no idea what to do. He's usually more than just talk, but he was really not prepared for anything now.

"Now?" you weren't prepared either. "What should I do then?" but you trust him. So you'll follow his lead.

"Hop on." you got on top of him, your ass pressed against his cock who seems to get harder with each second passes. He can't do much, he can't free himself from his pants, he also can't let you bounce on it. He's not even sure if he's allowed to touch you to begin with. "What do you want to do?" he can't believe he's asking you this.

"I don't know." you're not being helpful at all.

"Move a little backwards." his hands were on yours sides, moving your hips on his hard cock. He was half hard, and yet he was so big already.

The room was bright, but not enough. The light from outside wasn't enough to see your expressions clearly. And at the moment that's all he wanted to see. What faces you're making, how did you react when you felt him? Stupid light, can't even help a man out.

"Grind on it." you figured out that much.

Placing your hands on the couch, right next to his body, you positioned better on top of him. You hoped for something more, but that's alright. You're learning something new everyday, and you're happy with it.

"Like this?" you moved your hips back and forth, your clothed pussy right onto him, feeling his cock jump around whenever you let out a whimper.

"Do it how you want it." that's not really what you wanted to hear.

You're unsure of what to do when he'll leaving everything to you. A bit of guidance would have been helpful, or some feedback. But he's not saying anything, only staring at you, like he suddenly got night vision. Or like he's trying to get one.

"How do you feel?" you asked, too lost in your thoughts to even realize how you're feeling.

"It's good, keep going." that lifted something off your chest, now focusing on how you're moving.

You never thought of how it would feel, doing this on another person. One who's surprisingly hardheaded, not saying much and making you overthinking about your actions.

Good thing your body was on autopilot, moving desperately on him and trying to cum. The darkness had it's own benefits, like the fact that he couldn't see you. So coming would be less embarrassing, especially in front of another person.

He wished he could get in your head, or at least have some kind of superpower that allows him to hear people's thoughts. Your soft sounds makes his mouth water, and yet it wasn't enough. He was a visual learner, he needed more than just your voice. And the fact that you seem to get so closer to your release didn't helped him. He needed to see it. "You're close?" he needed a confirmation. He can't make accusations based on his intuition, or better said, delusion.

"Yeah." you said out of breath. He's taking it from here.

With a quick move, now your positions changed. You were the one underneath him, and he was on top of you. Pressing his hard on you, grinding a lot faster than you did, harder. Taking you by surprise from the way everything turned around in just a moment.

You said you're close, didn't you? He's just helping you. After all, how will you come back to ask for more if he's giving you a mediocre orgasm?

His lips on yours, being way too lost in this competition only he's participating in. Kissing you like there's no tomorrow, and giving you once again the illusion of him fucking you.

See? There's nothing scary in it? It's just him and you, and your bodies. He's giving you pleasure you're asking for, the one you kept craving after. And he's going to give it to you every time you come to him.

Your mind went blank, not being able to think of anything as you're shaking in his arms.

He's not stopping moving, letting you ride your high out as he slows down. One of his hands went between your bodies, trying to tug at his pants to free his cock before freezing in place.

He's going insane, he's officially a mad man. He can't believe he really was ready to fuck you right there and then. He said this was about you and yet he couldn't even keep his dick in his pants.

Why are you giving him attention? Why did you chose to fuck around with him out of all people? Was it because he's always around? You're seeing him and something convenient to use when you're feeling horny? Then use him properly, don't talk nicely to him or he'll get the wrong idea.

"You're going to kill me sooner or later." you said, trying to catch your breath. "What about you, don't you need help?" how long until he finally snaps? Who knows.

"I'm alright." if you keep putting your hands on him he will not be able to take it lightly.

"You're sure?" seriously, let him be. He won't die from a boner.

"Yeah." he pushed his body up, giving you space so he won't do something stupid again. "I'm going to take a shower." and take care of the thing between his legs.

"Without me?" you giggled, like you were waiting to say that for a while now.

"Come and you might not be a virgin by the time we get out." oh, that made you shut up. Nope, you're not ready for it yet.

"I was joking." of course you were.

"It will take a while, don't wait for me." he said before finally getting into the bathroom.

You too need to change, your underwear might as well become part of your body from how sticky it was.

The next day? Surprisingly, you were pretty alright. You didn't seemed to walk on shells anymore. But that alone made him feel like it was alright to keep going. Because, believe it or not. Every time you touch he becomes more and more delusional. And perhaps you do so too.

It seems like your still craving for more, purposely sitting next to him, and trying to make as much body contact as possible. It was small touches, but it was still something.

He's down whenever you're down. Just say the word and he's ready to bend you over whenever.

You're shy, like you're waiting to see what he'd say. Does he wants you around, or does he not? You're trying to see what exactly he'll do.

You're giving him looks, biting your lip and fluttering those eyelashes at him like you're all innocent. When in reality you're far from that.

You told him your secrets, asked him embarrassing stuff you never dared saying before. Heck, you even let him do things you didn't even dreamed of doing. What more do you have to do to prove him that you trust him?

"You got pretty big hands." you said the thing. "Mine are so small compared to yours." if this doesn't prove that you want him, then you don't know what. "See?" it's like you're asking him to get in your bed.

But he's not satisfied with just this much. Because he knows you can say the right things when you're desperate enough. So how dare you think he'd take the bait just now?

"You'll grow." he's doing in intentionally. But now he wished he said something else. Your disappointed look got him rethinking his decision. Maybe he shouldn't make you try that hard. It was your first time doing something like this after all, so he should keep it easy.

"I won't grow more than this." well, it was true.

"You're alright the way you are." he tried to fix his mistake. "Or something." he had to play cool, so you won't think he's all soft.

You wanted to say something more until you heard the front door. You didn't expected anyone to come over today.

"Get your ass here already." Sukuna, of course. "Can't believe I came all the way here to pick your dumb face." you looked at your roommate, confused if the pink haired man was talking about you or him. "You're not ready yet?"

"Me?" you asked, not remembering having any plans for today.

"Not you. Him."

"What was today again?" the dark haired man asked, not being able to remember anything. He thought he'd be able to stay home tonight, but apparently that wasn't an option.

"Boy, get moving already."

"Bye." you waved your hand. "I'll miss you." you didn't mean to say that.

"I'll miss you too." Sukuna looked at you, not minding your strange words at all. "You though it was for you?" the tattooed man looked at your roommate, raising an eyebrow and waiting to see if he'd say something. But nothing, the dark haired man didn't said a thing, as he was getting into the entrance hallway.

Well, here you go, I guess. Now you're all alone when you thought you wouldn't.

But to your luck Shoko was calling you, checking to see how you're doing since she haven't been able to come over recently.

"Life have been boring lately." she sighed, walking towards the window and open it so she could smoke.

"That's not good." you couldn't say you relate.

"Anything good on your side." well, now that she said that, you have a few questions for her.

"Actually." should you ask her? What if she tells the others? "I need someone to talk to, like, a girl talk." you got her attention.

"Did something happen?"

"So.. I'm talking to this guy." you paused, waiting for her reaction to know if you should continue or find someone else to talk to.

"Do I know him?" that was a trick question. She knew everybody you talk to, your friends were her friends.

"Maybe. But that's not important. It's just need some advice."

"Go ahead then?" she lit a cigar.

"But like, don't tell anybody." who knows what they're going to do if they hear about you and a guy getting involved.

"I won't." she better.

So, you started telling her what happened to you recently. Letting out a lot of the things that happened, and names, and places. All she needs to know is how you want to move forward but he seems not to.

"He likes you." she said before you could even finish speaking.

"You're sure?" this happens if you let out more than you would like.

"It's either this or he wants to get in your pants." you sighed, not even wanting to this about it.

"I wish." she didn't expect you to say that.

"Oh?" now she needed the actual tea. "What happened?"

"I want to but he keeps holding back." he keeps dodging every time you try to flirt and it was annoying. Maybe he was actually doing all that because he took a pitty on you. Seeing you all sad and depressing.

"If you don't want him give him to me." you doubt she'll say this if she knows who you're actually talking about.

"Anyway, I don't know what to do."

"I still think that he likes you. Why don't you call him?" that wasn't a bad idea at all. Since he's not home you have all the time in the world to pack your stuff and leave in case things go south.

You waited, perhaps a bit too much than you would like. But you did texted him in the end. It was almost midnight when you did.

You're up? if he wasn't, that was your sign that you shouldn't try anything and sit down.

Yea. Wassup. he replied almost instantly, and for a moment Shoko's words were all over the place once again. Does he actually likes you?

Nothing, just wanna hear your voice. you became a bit too open with him than you would like. Who else would you text in the middle of the night that you're missing them if not him?

Want me to call?

Yeah. he didn't anything more than that, because in the next second he called you.

"Can't even go a day without missing me?" unfortunately.

"Wanted to see how you're doing." you don't even know what to say now that you're hearing him. "How are the others?"

"Left a while ago and they didn't even noticed." that sounds like your friends. "I could come home and they won't say shit."

"Everybody been busy lately. Why don't you go and have some fun?" you're supposed to ask him what he thinks about you, not make him hang up. Stupid you.

"Nahh. Don't want to." lucky you. "What are you doing now?"

"Talking to you." that's true. "Don't gave anything better to do."

"Missing me that much, huh?" he tried to joke around, but you weren't really in the mood for it.

"Yeah. Kinda." he get it now. This wasn't time for shits and giggles.

"Want me to do something?" what can he even do from over there? "I wanted to take a look at your pussy before I left, unfortunately didn't got the chance to." can he really say stuff like that? What if somebody hears him?

"Really? Because I remember it different." but you can't back down when he clearly started it.

"Believe it or not, I'm an idiot. I say things without a meaning all the time." he does that a lot. "Wished I could make it up for it now." you were bad at expressing your feelings, but you got more open about it when you're horny.

"I want to hear your voice more." he bet you do.

"Don't rile me up now." he let out a heavy breath. "Can't make it out past those idiots without being caught."

"Where are you now?" right, you had no idea where he even was to begin with.

"Some random room in Gojo's house. Might take home a souvenir while I'm at it." some things never change.

"Can't you come up with an excuse to come back?" you're doing that again, talking in a way that makes him say yes to whatever you're asking.

"Need me that bad?" there was a hint of amusement in his voice, but there was nothing funny the way his pants starts to feel uncomfortable.

"Maybe. Can't say for sure if you're not here." he'd jump out the window to come home right this moment if he wasn't on the eight floor. He shouldn't have left, he could have come up with something the moment those idiots texted him.

"I'll be back tomorrow, probably."

"Probably?" he loved the way you whine and the way you're so needy for him. Ugh, he's not alright at all.

"If I try to leave now they'll tie me up."

"I want to tie you up too." big words for someone who never experienced a dick before.

"Maybe not now. But we can do something different." his mind is working pretty fast.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Turn on the camera, let me see you. Bet your pussy is missing me." that's too much for a beginner like you.

"Can't we talk like this?" you were embarrassed, and man he wished he could see your face.

"Alright then." he'll be back tomorrow anyway, so it didn't matter. "Take your panties off, play with yourself for me. Let me hear it if you won't show me."

"I'm a bit embarrassed." he knows.

"I'll do it too. So you won't be alone." oh, well, that could help. But now you're more interested in hearing him than do something yourself. "Wanna see how hard my cock is? I'll send you a picture."

"I'd rather see it in real life than in a photo." the room was filled with his laugh. You were so bold out of a sudden. Wait until he gets back, you won't be that confident anymore.

"You're sure you won't cry from it? What if it's too big for that little pussy of yours?"

"If it's you, I'll handle it." you could hear him moving around, and for a moment you went quoet trying to understand what he's doing.

"Why did you stop talking? Say something, let me hear your voice." his voice was so low for some reasons, and you could only imagine why.

"What do you want me to say?"

"What are you doing now?"

"Talking to you?" you could hear him clicking his tongue.

"Not that." what else then? "Touch your clit for me, tell me how you feel." oh, he was really going to do it?

"Give me a moment." you won't say no when he also wanted it. You took your pants off with a quick move, alongside your panties, and throwing them somewhere around the room.

"You had all this time to get ready." it's like you're not even listening to him.

"I'm kinda wet." kinda? He wanted to hear about you having a pool in your pants just from thinking about him.

"Kinda isn't enough." you weren't prepared for this. You thought you'd have a little chat, not this. "Get it ready for me."

"You won't be back until tomorrow tho?"

"And? That doesn't mean that I won't be back. Get it ready so you won't say that I bullied you." did you ever said he did? Perhaps you did, but that wasn't important. "Can you push two fingers in? Doubt you can take more."

"I can."

"Yeah? I don't believe in empty words, I want proof." this fucker.

"On a second thought, two it's alright." he laughed again, running his hand down his hard cock and letting out a sigh.

"Then do it. Try to go as deep as possible." you followed his instructions, pushing two fingers inside your wet core and trying to do as he previously did.

You remember you used to do it yourself without a problem, so why were you struggling now? Are your fingers that little? You didn't feel like your even halfway through.

"How are you doing it?" you must be struggling, huh? He can't help but smile at the thought if you not being able to please yourself without his help.

"Something's wrong?" he could only guess.

"I can go all the way in." he bet you don't.

"Aww, poor baby. You must miss me even more now, huh?" he was way too happy at your misfortune.

"I can do it without your help." if he thought he was being funny, then you too can play. You started to let out any kind of sounds you made without any restrain. And all he could do is hear them through a phone.

Wasn't it funny? You're louder alone than you're with him. But don't worry, he'll take revenge on it later. At the moment he'll enjoy your voice since that's the only thing he can have.

He was paying more attention to you than him. To the way your voice would break a little when you do something your body likes it, like when you touch a place that feels too good for it's good. And how you'd move your hand away, afraid of giving into the feeling.

That's why you need him, he doesn't hold back unlike you. With him you can rest assured you'd be crying and shaking, while when you're alone you take so many breaks, not daring to push yourself at all.

He can't believe you avoid touching yourself in the places that you should. At this point this will take forever with you. No wander you're so obsessed with him. He does the things you don't dare to.

"Rub your clit faster, don't stop till I say so." now he was waiting. All ears on the wet sounds your body produce, and your voice.

You're listening to him so good, doing as he said without a single thought behind your head.

He can't get enough of you, and your dumb naive self. What will you even do without him? At this point you might need him more than he needs you, and he'd rather die than admin that.

He's practically chocking his cock as he was listening to you, his phone pressed against his ear as his head went backwards.

He wants to go home, he can't even cum knowing that you're there, in the darkness of the night, waiting for him all sad and alone.

"Just wait until I get home, alright?" that's all he said before hanging up.

You went to sleep, thinking you'd see him tomorrow morning. But he wasn't there, not a few hours later or even at noon.

Did he forgot where his house was, or did he perhaps didn't want to have anything to do with you anymore? You'd rather chose the first option than even think of him not wanting you anymore.

But he came back, late at night when you least expect.

He was breathing heavily, standing in the middle of the living room as he looked at you who was in the kitchen. "Sorry I'm late." that's all he said before getting closer, cupping your face with his hands and kissing you like it's been years since you last seen each other.

"Thought you forgot about me." you got the chance to say when he started to take off your clothes.

"Those fuckers. Had to run away or they would have dragged me to fuck knows where." his lips were back on yours, trying to lead the way to his room while kissing you.

"Your clothes." you said when you got to his bed.

"Fuck it." he took his clothes off so fast you're surprised he didn't ripped them.

He's not going out again any time soon. He's staying home, or at least he'll go wherever you're going. He's not leaving you alone ever again.

He got with his head between your legs, starting to eat you out, to ease you so it won't be hard for any of you later. Two of his fingers quickly slipped in, moving and making sure to stretch you out. But he's too impatient to do something for too long.

"Look at me." he said, getting up to be at the same eye level as you. Holding his cock with a hand and slowly pushing his head past your folds. You'd only get scared if you look down, and he'll try to distract you however he can.

He kept pushing himself in more and more, not stopping until he got all the way in. And staying there until you tell him to do something.

"Does it hurts?" he had to ask, to know if you were alright or if he went like an idiot right ahead.

"A little." you wrapped your legs around him. "But it's alright. You can move." here he was again, kissing you like he was trying to eat you while his hips were moving at a complete another pace.

He was careful, moving in and out slowly, painfully slow and letting you accommodate to him and his zise. But at the same time he tried to get your head away from him, or the fact that yes, indeed he was inside you.

You didn't complained, you seemed to be just as greedy as him, dragging him closer, wrapping your arms around him and securing him in your arms. In case he doesn't want this anymore and decides to leave.

But how can he leave? Especially when he came home all in a hurry, having to run away when no one was looking so he could be there with you. In fact, he's even more paranoid than you. What if you suddenly see him for what he is and leave? What if you don't want him anymore and go for someone else who can treat you better?

Just that thought alone was making him go crazy.

You can't leave him, not when he wasted so much time trying to get close to you. Not when you fit perfectly in his hands. Look, your body likes him, it craves for him. Your pussy is sucking him in and it doesn't seem to want to let go.

"Harder." you said, wanting to feel him even deeper. He needed to touch places no one else did before, to go as deep as he can and to practically become one with you. Because you needed him to. How else can you claim him as yours if not like this?

"No." he said, kissing the side of your face.

"Do it." and then you'll cry that he was rough. He won't give you a reason to look for somebody else. Instead, he'll fuck you nice and slow, show you that there was more to this that you think.

Sneaking a hand down your body, his thumb started circling your clit, his hips slowly hitting yours, filling the room with sounds barely audible.

This was good the way it was. Body against body, intimate touches and you craving for each other. What more do you need? Because he, personally, doesn't need anything more than this.

He wish he could keep you in this moment forever. In an empty house where only the two of you were. Where it was forever night, so no one else would disturb you.

"Stay with me. It's not done yet." his forehead pressed against yours, pushing more of him onto you so he could feel you more. He didn't want to come, and he didn't want to see you do it either. Because it means this moment had to end at some points.

"Don't leave me." silly girl. He won't leave your side even if you kill him.

"I'm here. I won't leave. I'm all yours." he better not be lying, or you won't forgive him.

[iscdisc]

You and your gorgeous TMNT art make me ship everything you ship. You could tell me to ship the most outrageous thing, draw it, and I would ship it. Like the most grotesque thing. I would love it. You are brilliant. May I ask for the fics you are reading and/or you have read?

Well I hope I wouldn't ship anything grotesque or that you feel would be grotesque- 💀😭 Lmao

But I get what you mean and that's incredibly flattering ! I hope everybody that engages with my content knows that I'm not trying to necessarily convince anybody to enjoy the pairings that I enjoy, but if you happen to click with my perspective whether it's from my art or from me talking about them, that's really cool to me !! ☺️✨

And sure ! I'll list some that I'm currently reading or have read recently that I really enjoyed ! I'll even include some that I plan to or started but haven't gotten very far yet- :

• "And It All Starts Again" (by Non_Parsimonious | Currently reading-)

I'm starting with this one because it is absolutely peak- Are you serious?? I'm telling you right now, this should have been Season 5 instead OR if the 2012 series had ever gotten the opportunity to have a film adaptation and it actually be well done narratively, this should have been that movie- I'm TELLING YOU, this story is absolutely phenomenal and I'm already in the process of making art for it to promote it ! 🫶 || I'm not going to spoil too much because I really want people to read it for themselves, but there's so much stress and angst that kind of pushes the narrative for that I'm just eating up because I enjoy those kinds of stories ! But if that's not your cup of tea, then feel free to skip this one-! 👍✨

• "Thoughts About A Boy" (by @jaywritezshitz | Currently reading-)

Maybe I talked about this one enough already, but I'd love to talk about it some more because it's a really great 2012 Jonatello story and I think it's incredibly well written !! I love the premise, I love the character interactions (Especially with April and Donnie, which says a lot in regards to myself because that's usually something I don't particularly enjoy because of canon / not fanon- /,, 😭), I love the build up and the constant anticipation that I feel waiting for confessions or for Donnie's letters to be weaved back into the narrative in the least expected way possible (Not to give too much away, because I really encourage you guys to read it for yourselves-), like !! There's just so much to enjoy with this one, and I really encourage people to read it cause I personally think it's really phenomenal !

• "Oh, Where'd All The Time Go?" (by @tae-rhymeswithslay | I plan on reading this one-)

My memory is kind of foggy with this one, because I swear I started reading the first couple of chapters but when I went back to confirm that I have read the story before it didn't feel familiar-?? So maybe I meant to read it and I thought I'd started it but I hadn't yet? 😭

But you're going to see a couple of Tae_rhymeswithslay entries on here, because I do enjoy their stories ! 👍✨

• "Purple Hokey" (by Ani_Wagner_7w7 | Have already read-)

The setup for this particular 2012 Jonatello fanfiction feels very authentic to the show, in the sense that this is a situation I can absolutely see the writers putting them in (Not that they were the biggest Jonatello enthusiast, but you get my point-), you know? LMAO / It sort of felt like a cliche trope but done well ! It does ramp up a little maturity wise towards the end, just to give a heads up for that-! But otherwise it's just a cute story in my opinion ! ✨

• "Of the Same Cloth, the Same Coin" by Kazegami | Currently reading-)

Another incredibly peak story- Are you kidding?? I genuinely get so happy every time the story gets updated because it's one of my favorites ! The premise is that Casey asked Donnie for help with his school tutoring since April's going on a trip with her father for a few weeks, so of course they build a better relationship through constantly being around each other due to this tutoring situation ! Another kind of trope-like premise, but how the author tackles it is my favorite thing ever- I also really enjoy how April is written in the story as well and the sort of subplot that's going on with her ! I swear these writers do such an incredible job with her character and it makes me both happy and upset at the same time because why couldn't she have been like this in the show? I don't know- 💀 Lmao / But another story that I highly recommend !!

• "Technicolor" (by SecurityTape | Have read already-)

This is one that I genuinely was not expecting to read, since I'm not the biggest fan of crossover pairings (Not that they're necessarily bad, they just don't always interest me in the way I feel the interest of the people-!), but this one was really charming !! I really enjoyed the writing of both Rise! Donnie and 2012 Casey in the work of fiction ! It really reminded me of how much I missed the energy of Rise! and that I need to rewatch that version more because it genuinely is very funny- 😭✨

• "A Kiss As A Prize" (by Mili_8a | Have read already-)

This is one of the few 2012 Raphril fanfictions I've read / found on AO3 that I really enjoyed ! It's pretty short, but the premise was really cute and there's such a shortage of Raphril content in my eyes, so anything that I find I'm pretty much going to eat it up immediately- LMAO ❤️💛

• "Northampton Echoes" (by Gladrial | Currently reading-)

I barely started a chapter of this last night, and I already love the writing so far ! It takes place at The O'Neil Farmhouse (So far at least-), which I find particularly enjoyable because a lot of my Raphril centric thoughts in regards to building their dynamic / better establishing a connection between them starts in The Farmhouse in my head (I actually have this whole comic that I was trying to make talking about how I felt certain things during The Farmhouse Arc should have played out differently in my opinion and it mostly focuses around April and Raph- Maybe I'll bring that up at some point on here !), so I'm already pretty enthralled in this story set up so far ! I don't have much to say about it besides that though, because like I said I haven't gotten too far into the store yet-! But there's 19 chapters so far, and I already know that that's probably not going to be enough for me- LMAO

• "The Day The World Broke" (by @saladmix | Started reading this one-)

I feel like an asshole, because I started reading this one like months ago and I just never picked it up again and I don't know why- I think I might have gotten distracted with other things going on? I genuinely don't remember- But seeing people talk about it on here (Tumblr) reminded me that I need to go back and read that because the story is incredible ! I genuinely loved the first couple of chapters that I read ! I love the dynamic that they were setting up between the Mutant Mayhem Brothers in the beginning of the story, especially since I feel like (at the time anyway-) the MM / TOTTMNT brothers weren't getting a lot of love or attention from people?? I didn't get into the more plot focused chapters yet, but I believe I was close ! So hopefully I'll go back and read that soon I'll have more to talk about ! 👍✨ (Sorry for the abrupt tag by the way, Saladmix ! I hope that was okay-!)

• "My Best Enemy Is You" (by Aethernight | Have already read-)

I didn't think I was going to like this story as much as I did, because I'm not super into vampire stories, but this story was really good !! I never knew how much I needed Vampiric 2012 Jonatello (But in the context of the story, Donnie's the vampire, where Casey's a vampire hunter-) set in like the 1800s (??) before now, it's wild- 🦇💜🖤

• "Something Dumb To Do" (by Aleaf737 | Have read already-)

This is another really short and sweet one for 2012 Jonatello ! It's about a marriage proposal and it honestly was really wholesome ! ✨

• "One Nice Moment" (by @tae-rhymeswithslay | Have read already-)

Another kind of short one but it was really cute ! 💜🖤

• "Make Me A Promise Here Tonight (Love Like A Tidal Wave" (by Imthebest_ever | Have read already-)

This one spoke to me immediately because it involves a sort of aftermath to the episode, "The Power Inside Her" ! I really liked the narrative here ! ✨

• "Ink On Paper" (by @tae-rhymeswithslay | Have read already-)

This is another short story, but it felt so in character for Donnie towards the end it's so upsetting- LMAO

• "Arnold Bernid "Casey" Jones" (by @tae-rhymeswithslay | Have read already-)

I feel bad for saying the same things about a lot of Tae's works, but they really are just short and sweet most of the time and I enjoy reading them a lot !! This one in particular had a lot of humorous moments as well- 😭👍✨

Hopefully those are enough ! There are probably some that I'm forgetting at this point, but oh well,, 😭 Lmao

[cantfightmoonlight]

“In your reality, maybe," He muttered under his breath as she insisted that her own perspective was the only version of the truth that could possibly exist. "Still not measuring up? Still? When were all of these other times I apparently rejected you before your birthday?" He blinked over at her in disbelief. "For the love of god, I can not read your mind! I'm not going to assume anyone wants me to kiss them unless they make it explicitly clear that they do or ask and, as for that night, did you ever think what might have happened if you stuck around longer than 60 seconds to find out? You were the one who ran out. You had already decided the way the night would go before you even gave me a chance to make a move, because yeah, my reaction wasn't 'enthusiastic' enough for you, and you can feel disappointed, but the part of the night, you seem to be forgetting is how I went after you. I went after you and, in doing so, was jumped, drugged and dragged out of town." If she wanted to talk disappointment, how the fuck did she think he felt when he was chained to the wall waiting for anyone to find him only to discovered that no one had even looked?

"Try and understand things from your perspective?" He genuinely scoffed at that. While, he wasn't about to make her feel bad for not having searched for him when he was gone, the notion that he hadn't been trying to understand things from her perspective before was rich coming from her. "Who the hell's perspective do you think I was trying to view shit from when I said I wasn't trying to embarrass you?" He exclaimed. As if him not wanting to put her on the spot and embarrass her by bringing up how she got drunk, showed up at his job in front of his coworkers and started to strip down was such a hot take. "You know, what? You're right, Dilan. I'm a fucking disappointment. I clearly don't act the way you want me to and never will."

"No..." His own voice sounded raw and agitated as he watched her standing there, arms curled around herself with tears building behind her eyes, knowing that there was no situation where they walked away from this where he wasn't the asshole. "Just someone to fix," His whispered under his breath. His voice a deep murmur as he recounted back to how it was always her job to fix everything and, if she could fix him, then maybe she could fix how she was feeling too...

"Don't be." His words weren't harsh. Quite the contrary as he adverted his gaze from hers. "You didn't do i-" He started to say only for his entire body to tense up as she pulled her into a hug. He let out a sharp breath as she hugged him. The last thing he wanted when recounting the worst few months of his life was to be touched, but he knew better than to pull away from her and have her think it had anything to do with her and not his own PTSD. So, he bared with it until she dropped her hands to her sides. It was only when she moved to place her hand on his cheek, that he found himself involuntarily flinching away from her touch.

He didn't say anything when she told him that she still wanted him. He had already told her that he wasn't the same person who had left. He had tried to open up more with her than pretty much anybody, but every time he tried, he felt like she didn't quite hear it. Like she was trying to place a bandaid over a bullet hole. So, he didn't what else to even say or do.

"That's not what I-" He squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a deep shaky breath. His fingers curled into fists as he dug his short nails deep into his skin. The sharp tinge of pain steadying him as he told her slowly, "Noted." One word and one she likely wouldn't take too well, but he couldn't bring himself to get into the nuances of what she was saying right now. He could tell her a million times over that shutting up and pushing it down wasn't the solution here. He could try to explain again that if she simply entered into the situation with less expectations, than maybe they'd be having an entirely different conversation right now. But, he also knew that wasn't who she was. She needed someone to reassure her and who needed her to help them through whatever it was they were going through. She needed to feel like she was helping and was fixing things. She had practically told him as much.  If I can fix this I can fix how I’m feeling. While, he needed to be given the space to figure it out on his own.

"Yeah... You to me too. We're still friends, Dilan. Don't worry. Now, if you excuse me," He promised her as he turned to go. Only before he did, he casted one more glance over his shoulder as he told her, "Though, uh, Happy New Year and sorry if I fucked the night up for you," before vanishing into the crowd.

End?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Because it happened!” Dilan countered. “You want to know how I felt about it? Disappointed. Like I’m still not measuring up to whatever invisible line there is for you to want to kiss me back. Of course I remembered it. It was my birthday!” As if it was the most obvious thing in the world that she would remember it. “It wouldn’t have put me on spot or embarrassed me. Song I wanted to talk about it, but god do you know how embarrassing it is for me to bring it up to you? I mean try and understand things from my perspective here.” 

At his words Dilan bit down on the inside of her cheek and looked down at her shoes, doing the best she could to will the tears that wanted to fall away. Looking back up at him when he sighed and she shifted uncomfortably as she fidgeted to try and make herself small. Staying silent as he continued to talk and she broke fully when he said she wasn’t a chore. Letting a couple tears falls and she for once didn’t attempt to wipe them away. “I never said you were.” Letting the words come out broken as she tried to talk but tears were already falling too fast and she couldn’t stop herself. “I don’t want you to be some scripted puppet, that’s part of what I like so much about you.” She admitted quietly to him.

Dilan looked up at him through blurry eyes and went to reach out for him when he mentioned being kidnapped for eight months, but when he took a step back from her she let her hand drop. Wiping her eyes as she inhaled a sharp breath, she listened to him talk about being kidnapped. “I’m sorry.” She was sorry for even starting this conversation, but more so for him being kidnapped. Reaching over to him and she took a couple hesitant steps towards him before she pulled him into a hug. “Song.. I” Trying to find the words to say but she couldn’t. “I’m just sorry that happened to you and that you spent eight months like that.” Letting her voice break again, she knew better than this but she couldn’t help it. Pulling back slightly as she put a hand on his cheek and gave a nod to his words. While it hurt to hear it somehow was comforting that it wasn’t a hurt issues it was more an everyone issue. Moving back as she let her hand drop from his face to her side, she didn’t know where to go with any of this. 

“But the problem is as low enthusiasm as you are literally all the time, I still want you.” She admitted softly. “Do I really? I mean I’m not a good person Song, I’ve never claimed to be either.” She countered softly at his words. When all she wanted to do was reassure him that he was enough. That while more enthusiasm would be nice it, wasn’t about any of that. It was just the simple fact it was him, as she recalled the conversation with Ken earlier about why she liked him the urge to recite all of that once more came up. She wanted him to know he was deserved the world too. “You deserve good things too Song. Despite what you may think.” 

Feeling the tears well up once more when he continued on and finally said it back but it was everything that came after that broke her once more. She knew he was right, that this wasn’t full stop, that she wanted exactly what he said. “I want more. More than you can give.” She admitted softly, she put a hand under his chin to force him to look up at her. “Song, I’m so sorry I did this too you. I should have considered you in this and I didn’t. I got in my head and my feelings about all of this when in reality I should have just shut up and pushed it down.” That’s what she had done with Chai and what she had planned on doing this time too, but everyone had just been so encouraging. “You’re right you’re not the same person anymore, but it doesn’t change that I like this person in front of me and wish I knew them better than I do.” Holding out a hand for him to take in case he wanted it. “No matter what though I’m here for you. Rather you want me to be or not. Because as much as this hurts, I’m not walking away. I’m just sorry that I’ve now made this so awkward between us.” Shifting uncomfortably, she made a move to try and wipe her eyes despite knowing her makeup was ruined. “You’re too important to not be in my life. I need you, even just as my best friend. Well besides Leyla and that, but you get what I mean.” 

[uncanny-tranny]

The biggest saving grace I feel I've done is to get into death positivity, to learn to appreciate death. It's definitely not going to help for many, but I have found that not stigmatizing my own interest and desire for death has greatly helped. Being able to interact with death not as a punishment, but as a way to express humanity has been truly what has made me feel more human. I no longer want to feel ashamed of this aspect of myself, and it's made me want to live. Death has done unto me life.

[arcane-vagabond]

.

[cygnusposts]

i think it's really funny when people try to assign batfam characters their own colors or whatever but refuse to use duplicates. could not be me. the inherent tragedy in using red for both jason and tim is something i will never get over

[lymtw]

Toji and his shy girl cuddle fucking WHO SAID THAT

A/N: EEHEE I heard it too 🤭 Even if the echo took a while to reach me 😔 No, but really, I loved this! It's been a while since i've written out a request 😅 I'm excited to start trying some of these, again :)

Thank you for sending in this request 💙

Toji and His Shy Girl

"Hey, you," Toji says, grinning like a menace at the way your body minimally jolts, like he scared you. "You don't like me or something?"

You turn to look at him, a barely there crease between your brows. "What? I do. What do you mean?"

"I mean, why don't you wanna be with me? You're sitting on your own island over there, while i'm over here... all alone... feeling like chopped liver."

He's cute, you think. Playfully dramatic enough to make you giggle. It's always nice to know he wants you around, too, when you keep your distance to give him that choice.

"I just thought you would want some space, is all," you explain. "This is a pretty long movie, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Would sitting with me make you uncomfortable?" Toji asks.

"No," you respond, though the thought of sitting next to him or on him, has your heart rate picking up. Most of the time, Toji wants it to be the latter, and when this happens, it feels like he's peeking at your soul. You feel like every nerve in your body is tingling and like your skeleton is buzzing. You know he can sense your nervousness, most of the time, and yet he doesn't take it easy on you. His patience, his charm, and his irresistible way of trying to seduce you—none of it ever gets easier to withstand without you feeling flustered.

"You're comfortable, I'm comfortable. We're both comfortable, so, come closer, sweetheart." He sees hesitance flash through your features, before you finally give in and start inching closer.

"Come on. Closer, baby," Toji instructs, watching as you continue to inch towards him. "Look at all this space. Get rid of it."

He chuckles at the properness of your folded hands in your lap, when you sit on the edge of the couch cushion, in front of his legs. "You're gonna stop there and keep watching the movie all uncomfortable?"

"It's fine," you say, smiling at him before facing forward, again. You can feel him staring at you as you try to focus on the movie. His hand goes to your thigh, an act that has your heart beating rapidly in your chest, close to being heard in your ears. He tugs at your sweatpants, earning your attention.

"I'll spell it out for you, doll. I want you here, lying right in front of me. Wanna cuddle with you and shit." You return your gaze to the screen and though anybody would think that it's rude, because it seems like you're ignoring him, Toji knows what it means. He knows it's hard for you to hold eye contact with him, sometimes, and that you looking away gives you time to collect your thoughts and prepare what you want to respond with.

"But you won't be able to see the movie," you say, as a last ditch effort to let him enjoy the movie without obstructing his view and invading his personal space.

"We'll make it work. Just come here. Please?" He pats the spot in front of him, directing you to lie right where he wants you.

"Okay," you say, more to yourself than to him. You scoot down a little more, before lying down on your side, on the exact spot he said he was wanted you. In an instant, you're swallowed up by him. He pulls you in so that you're pressed up against him, his leg overlaps yours, and his face goes straight for your neck.

"T-Toji, I know you can't see the movie. I can go back, if you want."

"Mm-mm. Nope. It's all good. Got what I need," he assures, low against your neck, a hand planted on your stomach. "Pretty baby," he murmurs, pressing kisses onto your skin. "You smell so fucking good."

You feel like some sort of soothing toy for him, with the way any time you sit with him, you end up stealing his focus and withstanding the way he mouths at your skin and runs his hands all over you.

"You comfortable? Have enough space?" He asks, kissing your earlobe. You nod in response and he hums, a click of his tongue and a couple pats to your stomach, expressing his disapproval of the nonverbal confirmation. "Say it, baby. Yes or no?"

"Sorry. Yes, i'm comfortable," you confirm, in a manner more to his liking.

"Mm... you're so good to me, doll," Toji praises, adding a kiss to the appreciation.

He understands that sometimes it's difficult for you to say things out loud and you'll dismiss your own discomfort for the sake of not having to verbalize what is bothering you. It's why he's so adamant on hearing you talk, over seeing you nod or shake your head in response to things. He's working on this with you. He's heard 'sorry' so many times, now, and each time, he rejects your apology, deeming it unnecessary, because he knows you're trying.

Things are still for a few moments. You get fully comfortable, lying there on the couch, with Toji spooning you, and manage to refocus on the movie. His hand goes under your shirt, meeting the warmth of your skin. It's a gesture that disturbs the calmness of your heart, as well as your focus on the TV, again.

"This okay?" He asks, caressing your stomach, occasionally pinching it, gently.

"Mhm," you hum, in response, before pretending to pay attention to the movie. You're too distracted by the dragging of his fingertips and the goosebumps he lures onto your skin. You're sure he can feel them, too, because his hand starts wandering higher up your torso, like he wants to get more reactions from you. You shift minimally when his fingers slide beneath the elastic band of your sports bra, grazing the bottom part of your breast.

"Still comfortable?" Toji asks, keeping his hand still until he receives a response from you.

"Yeah... you're okay," you assure, once again, resting your hand on his forearm. Your breath hitches when his fingertips brush against your nipple. Toji grins at the involuntarily squeeze you offered his arm, finding amusement in the way your body reacts to his touch.

Toji chuckles, lowly, at all your sudden fidgeting. "Does that feel good, mama? Want me to keep going?" He asks, planting a kiss on your shoulder. You're not stopping him. If anything, he can feel you gently pushing his arm so that his entire hand goes up your bra. "It's alright. You can tell me," he says, encouraging you to respond.

"It feels good. Please..." Your soft voice halts, a shuddered exhale released through your nose.

"Mhm, give me more. Please, what?" He says, baiting a more elaborate response from you. "Just saying 'please' doesn't tell me what you need, pretty."

"Please... keep touching me." You cringe, internally, the second the words come out. You don't even realize how proud Toji is or get to indulge in the praise he offers, because you're too busy overthinking what you just said.

"That was perfect," Toji murmurs, scattering light kisses onto your neck. His enormous hand stretches your bra, and grabs ahold of your breast. "I'll give you anything you want, sweetheart. Anything. The trick is... you gotta ask for it."

That alone is enough to teach you another lesson on not always being able to get what you want. It's not always so easy for you to ask Toji for things. He's seen you get frustrated, because of this. It happens, even if your frustration is never loud and you don't raise your voice or throw a tantrum. It's quite the opposite. Too many questions to your initial request, results in you shaking your head, as if to say, 'never mind. I'll do it myself'. Having to repeat yourself too many times, gets a similar result. Even in times when he's just asking you to describe something more, you lose patience with yourself and your inability to communicate what you need, efficiently, and essentially give up on explaining it to him, doing it yourself, instead.

It's times like these that really help you out in that aspect. You want something that you can make yourself feel, but receiving it from Toji makes it so much better, because of the element of surprise. You give him access to your entire body and he gives you everything you could ever want in terms of pleasure. You never know where he's going to touch you and what he's going to touch you with.

"You understand?" Toji asks, seeking comprehension from you. A small whimper interrupts the silence of an expected response. "I know. Tell me," he encourages.

Your grip on his arm gets tighter and more of your restrained soft sounds reach his ears as he keeps rolling your stiffened peak between his fingers. You gasp when he shifts his attention to your other breast and writhe in his arms. "Y-Yes—please—yes, Toji. I understand."

"Sensitive thing." He chuckles. "Look at that little arch. Bet you're soaked, already, huh?"

"Oh... god, i'm sorry," you mumble, relaxing your back against him, again. You feel like you could implode with how much attention you're being given. You just want to shrink and hide under the couch, and just watch the rest of the movie from there.

"You're fine, doll. I know the slightest touch does a lot to you," he says, brushing over your nipple, knowing that your reaction will emphasize his point. "You nervous?"

You groan in response to the question and turn your head so that your face is planted in the pillow, earning another deep chuckle from Toji.

"I'm not gonna eat you, mama," he jokes, grinning at the way your body trembles with contained amusement. "I mean... I can't lie and say I haven't thought about it before. You're sweeter than any candy or cookie—even cake. You're sweeter than all of it, but I need you here with me, so I can't... I won't eat you, alright?" His method of getting you to lighten up worked enough to lure giggles from you. "Yeah, there you go. Relax. Just wanna love on you," he murmurs, pressing kisses to your shoulder. "Wanna make you feel good. You want that, gorgeous?"

Throughout your time with Toji, you've learned that he's a very hands on man. He's constantly seeking your warmth and softness, because physical touch is his love language and he'll put in the work to get you to comfortably connect with him that way, too. You find that sometimes when you're lying in his bed, ready for the sleep part of sleeping over, he'll stick his head up your shirt and just fall asleep like that on your chest. It's easy for him to relax when he can hear your heart wildly beating in your chest. Sometimes, randomly, when you're just sitting next to him, he'll pick you up and set you down on him, just to watch you get flustered when he starts talking to you within such a close proximity. He loves the way you scramble to escape his sight, always ending up with your face buried in his neck.

"Aw, don't go all quiet on me, now, pretty. You know better. Say what's on your mind." His hand slides out of your bra and goes back down to your stomach, the roughness of his palm rubbing your soft skin. You don't like making him beg for you. He's patient enough with your nervous tendencies, you know he doesn't deserve it.

"I want you, Toji," you say, softly. It's a huge contrast to the hammering going on in your chest and the annoying rhythm in your ears.

"Yeah? Keep fucking going, baby. How do you want me?"

"Please," you mumble, reverting back to the familiarity of simplicity.

"No, not like that. Give me a little more," Toji clarifies.

"I... I want you to touch me... and make me feel good. Want you to feel good, too."

You feel and hear the rumble of his laugh behind you, a sound that makes your fingertips tingle and your stomach erupt with butterflies all over again.

"You precious angel. You want me to fuck you?"

You don't know how long you can last with your heart beating so fast. It's a miracle that it hasn't exploded, with how it's almost always racing when you're around Toji.

You feel like your face is on fire, but you nod, and offer a soft, yet, clear, "yes, please," giving Toji the consenting words he's been listening closely for.

"Alright, ma. You just focus on the rest of the movie and i'll take care of you, 'kay?"

"Mhm," you hum, in response. You pull on the drawstring of your pajama bottoms and begin pulling them down with one hand. Toji watches with a sly smirk on his face as he feels you shift around, more of your skin coming into view. This is your effort. This is what makes him love you so damn much. You try for him. He knows your heart is probably in shambles, as you kick the article off and wait for what's to come, but you're showing him that you want this, and that means beyond everything to him.

"You're so perfect, my girl," he says, pressing kisses to your ear. "So, so perfect..." he trails off when his fingers meet the wetness of your panties. He was right. You're utterly soaked. His hand dips into your underwear, instantly greeted by your warmth as he keeps digging. Two fingers drag through your slit, back and forth, for just long enough to have you fidgeting as he collects a sample of your sweetness. Once your thighs attempt to shut around his hand, craving more, he pulls it out and admires the glossy coating on his fingers. Without hesitation, he brings the digits into his mouth, a low hum of satisfaction leaving him as he licks them clean. His cock is throbbing in his pants, straining mercilessly against his boxers as he savors the aftertaste of you on his tongue.

"Straight up fucking sugar," Toji murmurs, as he hastily starts pulling down his own pants, ready to get a feel of what he just tasted. There's a breathiness in his voice, urgency that you can't process, because you can barely believe he sounds that way after tasting you. Then you feel it—the monster he packs, pressing against you.

"I'm all hard, just for you, pretty," he murmurs in your ear, as he starts grinding his bulge against your ass. "Feel that?" He groans. "It's all for you. All yours." He plants a kiss on your neck and halts the movement of his hips against you. His hand returns beneath your shirt, a slow drag up your abdomen, towards your chest. His fingers dip beneath the elastic once more and splay over your breast, squeezing. He can feel the stutter in your chest as he feels up the entirety of it. You keep fidgeting against him, and he recognizes this as your way of saying you need more.

"You ready for me?" He asks, still toying with your stiffened, sensitive peaks.

"Ready," you respond, maintaining your voice as steady and clear as possible. You squeeze his hand through your shirt for deeper assurance.

Toji smiles softly at your little gesture and pulls his hand out of your shirt. Just as he did when he was directing his touch towards your chest, he follows the same path down, tracing your curves until his hand makes it way between your legs. He moves the gusset of your underwear aside, an act that has you shaking your foot against the couch cushion.

"Relax, sweet girl," Toji hums, a low chuckle following. He lowers his boxers enough to pull his throbbing, drooling cock out and smears the precum that beads on his tip all over his length. Once it's all covered he guides his tip to the warm, slick ridden space between your legs. After running it through your slit a few times, to hear the squelching sounds and your little whimpers when he catches your clit, he slowly starts sinking into you.

"There, baby," Toji murmurs. His warm palm rubs the softness of your stomach and he scatters wet little kisses on your shoulder and your neck, all while he continues feeding your cunt his inches. "You're so fucking cute," he coos, listening closely to the sound of your little whimpers and gasps. "Fuck..." he groans, once his hips are flush against you. He can feel the way you clench and flutter around his pulsing cock, making the fit even more snug for seconds at a time.

"All good, little lady?" He asks, pinching your goosebump covered stomach.

"Mhm," you hum, a chime of your giggle following.

Toji's hold on you is secure. He has you. Warm and gentle caresses and brushes of his fingers on your skin prove it, along with the way he languidly grinds his hips against you, as if to remind you that you're connected in the most physically intimate way. It's not like you could ignore it, anyway. You feel all of him. His warmth, his strength, his company. It's impossible to ignore Toji.

"This movie's pretty boring, huh?" He asks, not even paying attention to what's going on, like he hasn't been since you crawled into his arms.

"You're not even watching," you reason, smiling at the kisses he presses to your ear.

"Got a reaaally good distraction right in front of me." He buries his face in your neck, inhaling your scent. "So warm and pretty and mmm... Can't focus on anything else," he purrs.

"It's okay. You can choose the next... the next one, too..." you gasp at the slow thrusts he offers. With every roll of his hips, his cock slides out just about halfway before sheathing back into the velvety warmth of your walls.

"I don't want to watch TV, anymore. Wanna watch you," he murmurs, monitoring your reactions to his movement. Every twitch, every shift of your legs against his. It's adorable, the way you push your face just a little bit more into the pillow when he tries to get a peek at you.

"Like that, baby?" He murmurs, a deep groan following. "Mhm? Yeah, I know," he says, like he's responding to your moan.

"Toji," you hum out, an unintentional amount of sultriness dripping off his name.

"Fucking- god,you sound so pretty, mama. Let me hear that again. Do it again."

His hips pick up the pace a little, just enough to coax more of those melodic sounds of yours. His hand dips lower, proceeding down the front of your underwear, his thick fingers gliding down towards your slippery clit. It doesn't take much of this electric addition to your pleasure to have you squirming and writhing against him. It's hard not to want to squish his hand between your thighs.

You whimper, a slight arch curving your back. Your clammy, shaky hands grip onto the couch cushion beneath you, your knuckles protruding from the force you put into your hold. You think he's on the brink of devouring you—absorbing you— with how he's holding you like you'll teleport into space if he lets go for a second.

"Say my name," he says, calmly, directly in your ear. "Call for me, sweetheart. Who's touching you? Who's making you feel like this?"

"T-Toji," you obediently pronounce, meekly, yet, to the man's utmost satisfaction.

"Again—fuck, baby—again," he groans, speeding up his fingers on your clit. He knows the motions spiked your pleasure because of how your body tensed up against him.

Sloppy kisses are pressed to your nape, as well as the side of your neck, where you know fully well that he must have left a plethora of marks already. You can hear the consistent sharp breaths he releases through his nose as he begins to desperately roll his hips into you, chasing what's coming up on him ridiculously fast. He's not aggressive—not entirely soft—but there's just enough movement to where you can hear a slight creak in the couch.

"Toji," you croon, softly. "T-Toji, Toji," you repeat, a high pitched whimper ending your little chain of his name.

"Oh, you're so fucking sweet, doll. So fucking sweet..." he mutters, his voice deep enough to make goosebumps spread anew, all over you. He hums at the feeling of your cunt erratically clenching around him. It's a tell tale sign—along with the frequency of your precious little sounds—of how you're right there, about to cum all over his twitching cock.

Toji loves how flustered you get when he has you tell him that you're about to cum, but he also loves the abruptness that comes with you being so overwhelmed by his touch and how he handles you, that for a few seconds you tense up and release all the sounds that bubble up in your chest, caving to the relentless amount of pleasure you feel without a warning.

"You're my pretty girl," Toji says, lowly, grinning when that's all it takes for you to gasp and arch off his front. Your body trembles and your thighs squeeze around his hand when his fingers continue to rub your clit. His tip just continues to prod at the sensitive spot within you, further intensify the sensation coursing through you. You're aware of how your moans have gotten louder and attempt to muffle them with the pillow, but your breathy little cries can be heard, regardless.

They spur on Toji's own release. His hand comes out of your underwear to avoid overstimulating you and glides up your abdomen, aiming towards your chest. He grabs ahold of one of your breasts, his hand smothering the entire thing as he squeezes and kneads it. You can hear his breathing grow heavier, his thrusts more punctuated, and a little faster in pace. The creaking of the couch is more frequent, as are his groans in your ear. His hold on you is tight. With his forearm having brought you back as close as you can be to him, you're locked in. With a few more thrusts, into your dripping wet warmth, he's spilling his load into you, breathy, deep voiced expletives tumbling off his lips as smears your gooey walls with all the warm, creamy substance.

"F-Fuck..." he groans, slowing the roll of his hips to a languid grind. "I got you," he says, chuckling at the gasp you let out from being filled even more. He drags unfocused, wet kisses over your shoulder and stills his hips entirely with a heavy breath. "Got you, mama." He loosens his hold on you, allowing you to breathe and move a little more freely. "Good?"

"Mhm. Good," you assure.

"Good. Gimme a kiss," he requests, smirking at the sound of your tittering. "What? You laughing at me 'cause I want a little smooch?"

"No," you say, through soft, but, more audible giggling.

"You promise?" He says, grinning at the slight tremble of your shoulders as your twinkles of laughter continue. "I'll let it slide, just this once. Now, give me a kiss, baby."

With a smile lingering on your face—the aftermath of your short giggle fit—you lie back a little and crane your neck as much as you comfortably can. Toji leans in the rest of the way and presses his lips to your sweet, lip balm layered ones, brushing them over and over as if he's parched and you're a glass of water. Both of your bodies react to the spark of desire reigniting through the gentle gesture. You can feel him throbbing inside you, while he can feel you clenching around him. His hand pawing at your chest makes butterflies swarm in your stomach and fuels the fluttering going on below.

You hear the dramatic background music of the movie's end credits and break the kiss, facing forward. You realize now that you paid just as much attention as he did—almost none—even when you agreed to keep watching as he touched you.

"Play another boring one," Toji says, behind you, already nipping at your ear, because your attention isn't solely on him anymore.

"But you won't watch it," you say, shuddering at the chill that runs down your spine, when you feel his lips behind your ear.

"That's the point."

[ubeb0nes]

Getting jealous (AGAIN) as Sevika's girlfriend...

you just can't catch a break, huh? your fault for falling in love with this absolute lady-killer

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a/n: ever since i remembered i have free will and can post all my sevika goblin thoughts i have been cooking entire posts up in like under an hour, somebody please help me LMAO

i had too many ideas for the jealous!reader, so here's another. i picture this as being my pit fighter!reader characterization, so do with that what you will :33

it isn't that you hate absolutely anybody looking at Sevika at all

like, you get it. and a part of you loves that everyone else can see just as clearly as you how absolutely captivating she is.

BUT IT GETS TO A POINT-

After the incident with the girl at the bar, Sevika does her best to make sure that you don't feel neglected in public. She slips, of course she does, but she does try like hell

It typically goes that anybody who approaches her, flat out doesn't acknowledge you. it's a by-product of how she's so non-PDA that it slips the mind of these thirsty women that she's even in a relationship

You, being a practical and results-driven individual, remedy this by being a little bolder in public every now and then

Nowadays, Sevika doesn't usually object. She understands why you're doing it now, and she's getting tired of the would-be homewreckers coming onto her too lol

You'll cup her cheek, give her a firm but quick kiss whenever you bring a drink over to her while she's in a game of cards. Come up beside her at the bar and rest your hand on her hip for a while (she fucking loves this one, she won't tell you though)

From then on, people start to get the message. If anybody's heartbroken over it, they become less inclined to showing it

So, you almost want to believe you're imagining things when you clock someone from across the bar who seems to keep giving you the stink eye

you're not dumb

you can see the way she's gesturing between you and Sevika to her friends, shaking her head in disgust. now that's a new one...

Sevika has her human arm over your shoulder while this is happening, the other holding onto her hand of cards. She looks over at you when you pluck the cigarillo out from her fingers and take a drag of your own in distress. She's deeply amused by this

"Okay, baby?" "Mhm. Peachy." You were not peachy. The hell did you do to deserve that look?

For a second Sevika thinks you're mad at her, frowning and angling her body towards you (she notices Ran trying to sneak a look at her cards as she does, and bucks playfully at them). Her eyes flick up to follow your line of vision, and then she understands

She chuckles under her breath.

"You could take her in a fight, princess."

oh, and don't you know it. You shake away the thought though, not wanting to escalate the situation in your head in the case that it's actually not at all what you think it is, and then you look stupid

You ask Sevika if she wants another whiskey and she declines, so you get up to just get yours. You're minding your business by the bar, trying to not grace that table with any more glances when that bites you in the ass as a shoulder checks yours

of course, it's the girl. I guess it wasn't in your head

You make eye contact with her when she looks over her shoulder at you and scoffs, shaking her head. You don't look away even as the bartender slides your drink into your hand

now, you have some options here. most of them include violence to some degree. you're contemplating them all as you're walking back to Sevika, eyes straight ahead

then you catch a few choice words from her table; something, something, "-can she fight..." you don't hear the rest, but does it really matter?

you stop in your tracks. you glance up at your girlfriend who didn't see what happened earlier but is watching you now, brow raised and mouthing what's wrong?

at this point, i don't think this even counts as jealousy, you're just defending your woman's honor

you give her a shake of your head that says don't worry (and now she's definitely worrying), and turn on your heel and make a beeline for the bitch's table

Sevika is about to get up to back you up- for whatever the situation may be- when she sees your posture as you stand over the girl from earlier.

Ran stops her though, grinning from ear to ear. "Let your girl have this, Sev. I wanna see her beat ass." Sevika scoffs, but tentatively sits back down. She trusts your judgement. Whatever your call is-

oh, you're smashing your glass over the girl's head. Ran gives a loud whoop

"You wanna take her from me? Go ahead, try," you'd said while Ran was talking Sevika down. The smile on your face was near-manic. "See what she does when you put your hands on me."

It's not like this woman was exactly tiny or helpless-looking; most in Zaun strived to be neither. But Sevika hadn't been lying when she said you could take her.

It was not a memo she'd received, though.

You couldn't recall what exactly she'd said, but you do know your mind reached an immediate state of singularity when she said she'd kill you before Sevika could do anything about it.

BET

"Goddammit-" Sevika barks out your name as she shoots up from her chair. Ran is doubled over with laughter

She's deceptively fast for her height, and thank fucking god for it. Her human arm wraps around your waist like a vise, pulling you back with ease

She would've been cutting up right with Ran in any other circumstance, given the way you were stancing on the now-dazed woman, fists clenched and shoulders shrugged up like an angry big cat

"Down, girl," she mutters to you. Her lips quirk up at the way you shift your jaw around, obviously still pissed off and ready to scrap

"I was defending your honor." "Mhm. What would I do without you, huh?"

Sevika's in front of you when the woman scrambles up out of her seat to retaliate. Sevika towers over the both of you, and you're nearly completely hidden behind her now as she glares at the woman

"You don't wanna fight her, much less me. Go ahead and clear off."

Maybe jealousy isn't as accurate of a term for you as territorial. You've got nothing to be jealous of, not with how fiercely devoted Sevika is at every turn

[lylian333]

~YANDERE LUKA X READER~

(this story may have changes soooo yeah but in the future I'll edit it to make it as perfect if I can )

WARNING: yandere, toxic relationship, read at your own risk, sexual assault,I need to touch grass and prey to god after this, noncon, weird siblings love(Luka isn't obsessed with hyuna in this story), if there other that I didn't contain please let me know

The first thing you ever see and remember is luka , he's always been there whenever you sad or happy he's always been there. Thankfully you both are taken in by an alien that wants you both to start calling him father , but to you as long as luka is there you'll feel safe.

Since the start you have always seen him as your brother he even knows about that, but perhaps he saw in a different way . you can even say he took advantage of you for being dumb and naive

Both of you are artificially bred but the end result came out quite differently especially health problems are the complete you are considered healthy perhaps even have a stronger immune system than others, while your brother is the opposite since he has asthma, and chronic migraines already.

before you both were send to Anakt Garden you both gown up with robots trying to teach and take care of both of you but the ways of it are scary and it is too much of a business that they would even care on how you smile and how you laugh .

But there are quite a few similarities between you both hate paparazzi like you guys like eating, sucking, and biting on things to satisfy you both hunger you both gown up with huge appetites as well and cause your father to worry about it and he starts giving us less food which to this day you curious that how you habits have begun.

Sometimes you both wanted to pass the time faster you both would cuddle but just cuddling tho there would be biting and touching at least your body wasn't comfortable with it but luka told you to just brush it off and you'll get used to it. this would only happened in private not waiting father or even anybody to find out about this just between you too. slowly the cuddle went from biting to kissing to even touching at weird spots but like luka said" just blush it off you'll get used to it after all you don't to make me upset do you ,dear ?"

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After that, you both were then sent to Anakt Garden father said it's the first step of your career you both are scared at first but at least you both got each other right? well luka health is kinda slowly getting worse there , and the other children's there kinda treat luka poorly because of his health but you always protect him by chasing the others away.

Not only that father give both of you guys top professionals to keep us well educated and healthy.

Time goes by in a blur, and with every passing day, you can feel the pressure of the competition looming over you both.The training is intensive and harsh, involving physical and mental conditioning to create the perfect idols. But they did have a playtime even so the daily routine consists of rigorous practice and training .

one day,while watching the other kids playing on the other side you and luka were playing with cube and seeing who can do it faster.two person came up to you both when you both look up they smile back and introduced themself" hello my name is hyuna and my younger brother is hyun woo do you guys want to be our friends and play?"

you look at luka waiting for him to make a decision he nod and your really happy about it cause you rarely see siblings and plus their very friendly not only that turns out that hyun woo is the same age as you while hyuna is the second oldest and luka the oldest.

After that day you guys would often hang out together you even started quit seeing them as part as your siblings because of how caring, kindful, and protective they are.

And slowly you start gaining feelings for hyun woo not just any feelings but a really special one even more special than luka and you.Hyun woo would often make a bouquet of flowers or flower head crowns just for you , he would also care for you talk to you a lot, and entertain you which you really enjoy. he would even help you to practice your vocals so that you wouldn't mess up in case and just overall a happy ball full of fun. and perhaps you can even say that you enjoy hyun woo accompany more then luka ones but maybe luka have caught on to you and hyun woo relationships.

About a year later of this at one day, after playing around you guys have gotten tried and decide to rest well hyuna go get some water you and hyun woo decide to lay down together perhaps even call it as a cuddle? Slowly you dive into sleep.

The next thing you knew when you woke up was you hear fighting??? you git confuse and rub your eyes and got up seeing what's going on.turn out it was luka and hyun fighting they rarelt fight even if they did it's usually luka who wanted to find trouble or he just didn't know about it but this fight is not like others it not playful it's like luka actually trying to hit hyun woo before you can fully process what to do luka use all his might and push hyun woo on the group causing him to accidently hit a rock.

Seeing that you instantly push luka causing him to fall on the ground when you turn around to check if hyun woo is okay but you notice his head is b-bleeee-bleeding , him not moving at all not even an inch

Hyuna came into the scene as well screaming" What's going on here and-...Hyun woo-"she stood there speed looking dumbfounded then robots and alien staff came in while hyuna was trying to leave his brother alone you turned around to your brother about to scream at him for what he did but you notice that he's hand is c-changing color-? it's was supposed to be- no not never purple you kneel against him confused picking up his finger and touching it not understanding what's going on why is so many things happening at once

You finally spoken out "luka why...?"

Hyuna kicked and screamed at all her might to put down her brother but the robots just pushed her away and the alien staff held her back she was madly crying. you wanted to go comfort her but when you were about to move luka held you tight "Don't leave me yet I'm not feeling well, sister" he said as he hold you tightly.

Ever since that day, hyuna has grown to have a negative sentiment to luka but even you can't blame her for what she has to be.

One peaceful night well sleeping, you got woken up by hyuna shacking your body trying to silently wake you up"(y/n) Follow me now" she whispered into your ear

'"Where are we going?"

"We're going to escape from this place from our owners and from this living hell, now come on we don't have much time left"

She then pulls your hand out of bed and starts running. You have so many questions in your head but before you can ask any question hyuna pulls you down onto the ground hiding from cameras and security "(y/n) , you may be confused right now but I'll explain to you when we both get out of here please escape with me you're the only person I trusted even after the incident. But please wake up there are many dark secret about this place and the future career all you have to do is just follow me and run across the field climb up a gate and get out"

Part of you wanted to listen to hyuna and escape this living hell and owners of a place but half of you wanted to stay with your older brother and is afraid that luka would be weak and may be left out .....

In the end you choose to escape for your own good for your own freedom and rights. You nod to hyuna who's smile at you and nod back understanding

You both slowly craw out of your hiding spot till one of you got caught by the camera and robots . you both run you tried keeping up to her speed . the alarms were to on alarming the others that the children's are escaping .

Some robots even try shooting you guys down but it can't . Hyuna begin to climb the gate to escape while screaming"(y/n) you can do this just trust me!"

Half way there you feel a strong pull at your leg and caused you to slip down and hit your head on the gate and the ground before you pass out from the pain you ever last encountered with her just looking down at you from the top with her sad and hopeless expression before she keeps going

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up you woke up your realized that you were not in the Anakt Garden bed you were in your home bed with luka on the side hugging you. You were curious and confused and eve scared that father would punish you. When trying to move you feel a sharp pain causing you to moan uncomfortable causing luka to wake up"Finally you woke up dear after a few days without you feel horrible but it's fine our owner has taken us back to home"

Hearing that makes you remember what happened you feel like you are disappointed in yourself you feel horrible for letting yourself down why are you so stupid there is nothing you can do but shed tears hugging your brother.

~Timeskip many years later~

You were sitting on the bed waiting for Luka to return from round 5 you both may be singers but never in the same stage or competition for both of your sake. Your competition was over with you winning and nothing surprising from what has happened multiple times in the past. But how do they manage to hold different competitions and different members at once.

Then you hear the door open, luka enters with his face injury and black eyes it's not your first time seeing this but every time you do it reminds you of the past...

Luka sat on the couch waiting for you to grab equipment to help with his injury. when you did he pulled you to sit on his lap "You're the only thing I want your life is mine and need I miss spending time with you like in the old days....why don't we cuddle again like how we used to maybe more intense now since you gown up right now a baby anymore..." he chuckles cupping your cheek

there hasn't been an ending yet sooon I came up with my own for now and maybe in the future I'll edit it better bc I only have one week left before my fucking important ass exam(please pray for me) .But I just fell into the fandom bc of the edit it's so good man and I'll also try understanding the concept alright I know this is really mess up but still...anyways thanks for reading

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Astarion doesn't ask for affection because he can't..... yet.

Ah, more tea steeping in this seeming endless sea of thoughts. This brew is a bit strong on the heart. Read with caution.

Warning for game spoilers and talk of abuse.

This perspective is from game content only. How anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right. No blame, no shame, it's your game.

I was always miffed at the lack of initiated affection from Astarion as a partner. YOU ask him for a kiss. YOU ask him for a hug. YOU ask him to tell you thank you after being an amazing partner and killing a massive beastie just for him! Brat...

But then I had a sudden realization. Given his past, affection is probably insanely hard to ask for. Like it can be for a lot of us.

Stay awhile and listen. (nerd)

Now when I speak of narcissistic abuse I am only speaking from what I know about it. I have no academic or phycology degree on the matter. Just good ol' tossed in the pond and forced to sink or swim experience.

Astarion spent 200 years under the crushing weight of narcissistic / psychopathic abuse. One of the things these types of abusers love to do is take what you love and make you hate it and then make you hate yourself for ever having liked it to begin with. All very nasty business that. But it's one of the main corner stones for the cage they build to control you.

They make you feel as if the request of a simple hug is the most pathetic thing you could ask for. Or the most selfish thing as it inconveniences them. They don't want it, why should they give it to you?

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..

200 years with a master who used him like a tool. 200 years with siblings that fought amongst each other so much comfort was a liability. Nights coming home assaulted only to be mocked for your tears. Insulted for your need of comfort.

"Pathetic! Weak! Disgusting! "

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..

Affection was nowhere to be found there, I assure you.

And for a Narc. anything given is expected to be "earned" in any way they see fit. And if you were "rewarded" with anything, it comes at high price.

And how dare you not find it fair. You ingrate!

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..

Hugs are pathetic. Kisses are an intrusion. Or they become gateways to other unwanted behaviors. To be held...what are you? A baby? The only way you are going to get held, is down.

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue.. The pattern continues.

But you ask HIM for a kiss. And he says..

"There is nothing I'd like more."

And he means it.

I'd bet a mountain of gold he wants to just ask you himself. But years of conditioning to expect pain when seeking pleasure probably keeps him in a choke hold. Like rats that are shocked every time they try to eat food out of a dish. They learn it is safer to starve.

"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but they might think i'm weak. But if they ask me first then it's them who wants it and they can't degrade me for it because they asked, not me. It's safe then."

"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or hug, but they might reject me for being too needy and shame and berate me for being so selfish or demanding of their time and person. But if they ask they have time and want me to kiss/hug them."

"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but my primal brain keeps telling me they might demand more than I want to give in return for it. But if they ask, I have the power of negotiating the outcome."

This leads me to believe he would view sex and affection very differently as well.

Where most find affection safe and nurturing, it's anxiety educing and unsafe. It means there are feelings and if there are feelings there is the risk and fear of rejection or judgment. It's much scarier.

Where most find sex to be connecting and intimate, it's been used so much it's lost any meaning. Something you can do a thousand times over and walk away the second it's done and feel nothing afterward.

This may even be a part of the reason why he wants to stop having sex.

He wants to connect with you in ways denied to him. He wants the experience of being courted, treasured, nurtured. It means so much more to him than sex. It is so much more connecting.

Feeling this way is wretched and lonely. The most basic instinct is to want to seek comfort in the arms of those who love us. But it's broken. The risk is too great.

And it's hard. Because you could be the sweetest most honorable Tav in the whole of Fearun. But after being fed poised apples one too many times, all apples appear poisonous regardless of if is true or not.

I have no doubt that this prickly elf soaks up every second of non sexual affection you give him. And truly is grateful for your patience while he slowly and carefully disarms the safety measures he put in place to survive. The fact that he even allowed you to touch him like that at all was a monumental act of trust. And why not? You are incredible after all.

I'm going to go ask my elf for a kiss now. And then cry in my cup.

[comicaurora]

I'm sorry that the terfs made their way onto your blog but it does feel good to see you support trans people. Thank you for that

Always.

I think, charitably, that the discourse going down on that post is an extrapolation and over-focus on one element of the point I was making: that for me, determining with certainty that I was cis was a rather fraught process. I was presented with many alternatives, but underlying their imposition on me was the oddly regressive idea that the things I liked, the principles I valued, the parts of myself I was proud of were not permitted of women. My whole life I got smacked with the background radiation that I couldn't like being strong because women aren't allowed to be stronger than men. I couldn't like being loud and boistrous because women aren't allowed to take up space. I couldn't be a math geek because women aren't smart. It was all deeply regressive misogyny from day one, but I started getting hit with it slathered in a fresh coat of paint - all those assumptions still held to be true, but now there was the out that I could do all those things if I just wasn't a woman.

Concluding that the underlying bioessentialist premise was wrong was very important. Absolutely none of those statements were true, and were only ever maintained by cultural saturation, goalpost-readjustment when they were actively disproven, and the occasional bout of lying with statistics to pretend they weren't just Shit All The Way Down. The core premise that certain things were only permitted of or possible for men was bullshit, and I didn't need to surrender the gender I liked best in order to play in the spaces I wanted to. I could simply exist the way I was already existing. I didn't need anything else.

The misinterpretation is the assumption that this being true of me means this is everybody's relationship with gender. I turned out to be cis, so for me, feeling that holding onto my assigned gender wasn't allowed was distressing - just another invocation of the same bioessentialist bullshit I'd been dealing with since the preschool playground. This is because misgendering is fundamentally denying that a person has the right to express themself the way they want. When aimed at me, it says I'm not performing traditional femininity well enough to deserve my pronouns. The same disrespect is the root of misgendering when aimed at trans people. "Perform your gender to my satisfaction or I will confiscate it."

The problem is, bioessentialism is 100% ingrained into the terf playbook, which is why, for instance, all their shitty talking points about trans athletes eventually boil down to "no woman can ever defeat a man in any contest because we are simply naturally weak and stupid and there is nothing we can do about it" and quite frankly nothing disgusts me more than the defeatist acceptance of the very lie that feminism is dedicated to overcoming. Instead of accepting that the paradigm of bioessentialism is a false dichotomy right from the jump, they embrace and weaponize it against the people whose existence proves the dichotomy is a lie. If gender essentialism is fundamentally false, then it is nobody's fucking business what anybody does with their gender. If the lines don't exist, nobody needs to enforce them. And yet there the terfs go, hunting down people whose lives are none of their business and trying to argue that they represent some great and terrible evil, some downfall of society made flesh, something that makes it totally correct and normal for them to spend so much time thinking about strangers' genitalia. They want this to be a noble crusade so badly they won't even examine what flag they're flying.

I love and support the trans people in my life and will always, always stand on the side of your right to exist, but alongside that, terf rhetoric especially disgusts and infuriates me because it is, at its heart, utter cowardice. The world told them they were weak and stupid and inferior and they fucking believed it. And now they think Fighting The Good Fight For Women means turning around and using the same paradigmatic weapon that hurt them to hurt the people whose existence outside the binary proves the weapon is a lie. They're the same shithead schoolyard bullies who made me believe my entire existence was foundationally wrong for years of my life and I will never, ever side with them or the shitty, cowardly rhetoric that contributed to the loneliest years of my life.

Figure out who you are and do it on purpose. Find the real source of the misery in your life and try fighting that instead of the other crabs in the bucket. Trans rights.

[vaspider]

Look. A little advice.

Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.

You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.

This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.

But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'

You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)

The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'

That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:

Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.

Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.

If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.

Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.

Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.

You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.

[feefivefoe]

I guess I'm unintentionally working my way up the age ladder, so Jason next-

This is the first part that contains backstory stuff I gave my reader, so unfortunately this is where a lot of the "they can be anyone" immersion dies, sorry y'all.

Genuinely, he thought he might hate you at first. Even at the preteen age of 12, where children were usually trying to start striving to independence, you had been so...bland.

It's not that you didn't stand out. Quite the contrary. Anywhere Alfred could be found, you were just a step or two behind him. A leech. Only ever speaking in a hushed voice, making the old man strain himself to hear you, surely.

He doesn't think you've ever even looked him in the eye.

It isn't until that summer he starts connecting the dots. You still cling to long sleeved shirts, pants over shorts, even when it's clear you're struggling to not overheat.

Then he catches you in the kitchen in the middle of the night, t-shirt and pajama shorts.

Burn marks, healed yet gruesome, decorate your arms and legs. Based on how they're positioned, he'd argue they probably exist on the rest of your body, too.

And yet, despite his invasion of what you clearly(?) wanted kept hidden, you merely bow your head in shame and offer a meek apology.

That's when he stops seeing you as a problem, but as a victim of consequence.

Not a bratty child who doesn't care enough about the lower class to speak to your new 'sibling,' but a lonely child who had never even once considered he might want to speak to you.

"Mister Wayne and Mister Grayson are very busy." You had said once, matter of factly rather than bitter or sad. "I'm sure they'd spend time with me if they weren't. But they have two lives, so they have less time than anybody."

He doesn't have the heart to tell you that they make time for him. And the rest of Gotham.

As you do with Alfred, you begin to shadow him. Meandering behind him without a care as to what his plans are, happy to receive the barest of acknowledgments.

You hesitate when speaking about yourself, as though taking up his time with mentions of you is an issue. He's starting to understand why.

Jason isn't sure if it's pity or growing affection that keeps him around, at first. For a while, he sees you as more of a sad, wet dog than as his family.

But you begin to connect with peers at school, finding validation outside of those that feel forced to give it to you. You mature, grow up more than you should, and realize the reality of your home life.

And Jason is thrilled! ...and...a little sad? He's happy for you, sure. Having friends is probably what you needed. People who want you around, genuinely. Who choose to make time for you.

But he'd be lying if he said that the way you used to stare at him didn't make him feel like a hero. Like he was doing so much, changing your world, simply by existing.

You still speak, of course. You're friendly siblings that get along well. You give him various foods you've tried making, courtesy of Alfred inspiring a desire to learn to cook and bake on your own. You talk about books you've read together, and listen intently while he rambles about his favorites.

You even peek in after particularly rough patrol nights, just to make sure he's gotten through it okay.

But it isn't...quite the same. No, but it's...it's for the best.

And he is still a hero! As Robin, he's protecting the whole city alongside Batman!

So he's still a hero.

He's still your hero.

"Jay? I was wondering if I could ask you for some help. The show my club is doing is one of those old books you like-"

"They aren't that old."

"-and my character doesn't show up much in the movie-"

"You watched the MOVIE before reading the book!?"

"-so I wanted to ask if you'd help me with characterization!"

He remembers groaning at you and rolling his eyes. "I'm busy tonight. Go watch the dumb, BAD, movie again." He pauses. "Uh, but I can tomorrow. I'll make sure I don't have anything planned, promise."

He saw you pause, and sees the constant same promises pass through you.

"I...have other arrangements. I'll make it up to you next time."

"Ah...sorry, kiddo! Big kid stuff. But next time! You trust your big bro, yeah?"

But this is Jason. Jason doesn't lie to you.

Jason keeps his promises.

You smiled. "Yeah. Tomorrow."

...

Then he died.

[acowardinmordor]

I kinda want a fic where Eddie is straight. Strong Ally, totally safe, but the guy is straight. There's a few months after they successfully take down Vecna that he and Robin and Steve are all besties, living in each others' pockets. During that time, he makes a lot of jokes that Steve is going to make a great housewife someday, makes some comments that aren't quite jokes that he wishes Steve was a girl, and has some very much suppressed thoughts that the only thing stopping them is that Eddie isn't attracted to men.

Near the end of the summer, before Steve is going to follow Robin to Sarah Lawrence, Steve comes out as bi to the whole group, and Eddie, for the first time, unashamedly thinks, damn, if only I wasn't straight. Steve even gets brave a few days before they leave and broaches the topic of Steve having a crush on Eddie. Keeps saying that he's not going to hit on Eddie, but wanted to take the chance, just in case Eddie had ever thought about it.

"Sorry, Steve, I only date girls."

And the awkwardness isn't the only reason the three drift apart, but it doesn't help. They send letters and post cards between Chicago and New York, and try to call at least once a month, but they're all broke, and long distance is expensive. Two years out, and Eddie knows something weird is happening with Steve and Robin, but they don't want to talk about it. They still talk, they're still friends, they'd still die for each other, but there is something they're hiding from him. Three and a half years out, and the bureaucrats finally got their act together. 'Thanks for not telling anybody' checks get sent to everyone in the know. Very large checks.

Robin graduates, and she and Stevie have a comfortable cushion. They don't have to take horrible minimum wage jobs anymore, and some expensive things they've been saving up to do for a while can finally happen.

This is where the fic in my head actually starts.

Eddie hears all about Los Angeles from Robin, but she tells him that Stevie isn't feeling great after the trip, and that Eddie will get a letter soon.

Its four months later, almost exactly four years since the three last saw each other in person when they finally meet again. Robin got a job in Chicago, and Eddie is still there, now a full artist in a tattoo parlor, playing gigs for fun with random friends. Stevie, of course, follows Robin, and Eddie tries hard not to stay upset with the guy for the weirdness and the sometimes silence, and the very obvious distance that Steve put between them recently.

Then they see each other. Meeting up at what has to be the queerest bar in the city, and it takes Eddie way, way too long to put together what's waiting at a booth along the wall. He's an ally, he's heard all the terms and types and nodded along in supportive silence because he doesn't get it, but he's trying.

But there's Robin, sitting on the outside, with a brunette beside her, possibly the most beautiful woman Eddie has ever seen, strong, tall, long wavy chestnut hair, and a spattering of very distinct moles. The little bit of a smile she has when Eddie first comes over melts into something small and scared as Eddie stares in shock. It's Stevie, it has to be, and Robin's exclusive use of what was once only a nickname suddenly makes more sense. He knows he needs to make sure he's using the right name, pronouns, whatever she wants. He's friend of a friend with a couple trans people, and again, he doesn't get it, but he listened, and he cannot fuck this up, because it's Stevie and this must be what they were hiding, but the inside of his brain sounds like an endless loop of mic feedback for a solid sixty seconds.

Sixty seconds is an insanely long time.

Before his brain turns over and he can smile and reach the table, Stevie has shrunk into the corner, and Robin looks ready to launch herself at Eddie's throat in her soulmate's defense.

A whole list of intrusive thoughts hit Eddie all at once while his mouth runs on autopilot, asking the right questions, smiling encouragingly, introducing himself to, yes, Stevie Harrington, and dragging the mood to a happy place by sheer force of will. Stevie starts to uncurl, smiles a little brighter, sits up straight, laughs properly at Eddie's dumb stories about terrible tattoos, and leans closer as the night goes on.

He fixes the weirdness he started in his shock, because there is no way in hell he's not going to keep two of his best friends now that they live in the same city again.

But his head is stuck spiraling around a snarl of horrible, selfish, invasive thoughts. The worst of which: Stevie is now Stevie because Eddie told her that he only liked girls. And he knows thats stupid and isn't why Stevie made this choice, and he hates himself for thinking it, but the thought is still there. That Eddie wanted so badly that she's now Stevie. Another, only slightly less horrible thought, is that the immediate fairytale ending he imagined on first sight - might be ruined because Eddie is still straight, and he's just not sure about, you know, the details.

Eddie did a great job that first night, and they're back to hanging out all the time as soon as the last boxes are unpacked. It is not Stevie's fault that seeing her in a sports bra for the once confirmed that the payouts, the LA trip, and her new shirt size were related. It's not her fault that Eddie can't stop thinking about how hot she is.

It's absolutely not her fault that Eddie starts getting weird around her. He's trying, okay? He's trying so hard. But its weird for him. He likes her. That part he's certain of. Loves her, almost definitely. He thinks she's gorgeous, high confidence on that part too. He has a crush, but he knows, deeper than the rest, that Stevie isn't confident in herself yet. She acts it most of the time, but its under the surface, a thread of fear that she's not girl enough to count.

And Eddie has a crush. And Eddie can't tell her. Because Eddie won't put them in a situation where Stevie's pants come off, and Eddie suddenly can't see her as the woman she is. It would hurt Stevie so bad, and Eddie would never forgive himself.

It's not like he can ask her just how much surgery she got in LA so he can prepare. And honestly, he's not sure it would matter one way or the other. He's terrified that whatever her choice, Eddie will fuck up his reaction. The risk is unsolvable. Robin calls him out on his crush two months later, and since the other choice is even worse, Eddie lies, and says she's wrong. No crush. Nope. Not even a tiny one.

Eddie tries to will himself into becoming bisexual for an entire month, going so far as making out with a very feminine twink at a club - he thought he'd ease his way into this - but he's still decidedly straight. Rubbing against the twink's remarkably small dick wasn't repulsive, but it didn't do anything for him either. Sure, he learns there's all kinds of pleasurable things to try that he didn't know about, but he's still not into anyone but girls.

(I don't know if this is the right resolution bc Ive spun Eddie pretty tight here, but this is getting so long. )

Robin's girlfriend has a party at a gay bar for her birthday. Obviously, Eddie and Stevie are invited, and obviously, just like every other day on this earth, Stevie looks incredible. She has a sparkly dress and tall boots and glitter on her collarbones and Eddie wants to lick her. His lovelorn staring only gets worse as the night goes on. Stevie is dancing, and Eddie is drinking at the bar with a collection of purses and carabiners of keys slung around and clipped to him. It's obvious enough that a gay couple - Nick and Chris - starts teasing him about it, telling him to man up and ask the pretty girl to dance already.

Eddie is too drunk for this, and he for sure has a guilt trip later for it, but he just starts talking. All of his fears and all of his love, and how he can't ever say anything because he's tried, and he's straight anyway, and he loves Stevie too much to hurt her like that. It's an entire miracle that Eddie broke down in front of a decent pair of human beings, and not some assholes. They sweep him off to a quieter corner outside, help him calm down as he smokes, and feed him some fries.

Eddie is still wearing purses like bandoliers, is snotty and red eyed, is on his third cigarette and fourth whiskey, and resisting the need to runaway forever when the older of the couple calls over someone named Angel. A woman who, if Eddie was not hopelessly in love with Stevie, would be the source of an immediate new crush. She's older than he is, thin through the waist, thick thighs, bottle blonde hair in a ponytail, and has a few inches on Eddie with her heels. The primal part of his brain wants to climb her like a tree.

'Hi Chris. Oh, honey, you having a rough night?" Angel has a few words with Chris, then grins like the cat who caught the canary.

'You're gonna be my good karma for the month, cutie. You are attracted to me, no don't try, thats a cute blush but I can still see it behind your hair, you are. You're straight, right? Yeah, that's why you think I'm hot. Hey, Chris? Do you think I'm hot?"

"Not at all, babe. You know I only go for men."

Angel turns back to Eddie and leans close to explain. 'Chris is a bit of a man whore. Loooooves dick. Don't worry, he says it all the time. Favorite thing in the world, and I've heard he's great at sucking dick. Tragically, I never get to find out, because I'm not a guy.' She pushes the word a little. Then she steps even closer so she's pressed against his side.

Arousal sweeps through him because in love with Stevie or not, Angel is hot as hell. 'Wanna go fool around in the bathroom?' she whispers

Eddie is definitely tempted, already nodding, but doesn't get to speak. Angel rolls her hips. He feels -- A new bolt of arousal shoots down his spine. 'this change your mind at all?' Her voice drops two octaves, and Eddie's brain breaks.

Because, as it turns out, no. No, it does not change his mind. He's half hard, he still wants to climb her, and he's not entirely sure how to get her off, but he takes direction well.

'Aww, figure yourself out, already, honey? Or do you want to test run this a bit more before you go for it?' Angel is back to her real voice, a high alto. She has one hand on his chest, and Eddie can hear Nick laughing nearby. 'I won't lie, I know I won't get to keep you, but you look like we could have a real fun time as I teach you. Happy to get you trained up for her'

Eddie shakes his head, an insane mix of bubbly and numb.

'Ohhh, so you're gonna go get your girl?' She's teasing him.

Eddie nods, already moving, vaguely aware of more laughter and jokes about karma and saving lost lambs, but too fixated to listen. He's still carrying all the purses. He's not entirely sure where Stevie is in the bar. He has absolutely no idea what he's going to say when he finds her. Still not sure how to worship her properly. Extremely interested in following directions on the topic.

Eddie is still straight, but luckily, the girl of his dreams is dancing inside, and the rest of the details don't matter in the face of the possibility of finally asking her out.

When he finally chases her down at a high top with a cosmo, she laughs at how he looks, but he's never, ever seen her smile like she does when she agrees to a date with him.

--

This is sort of about a friend as they worked through realizing they weren't attracted to their wife after she transitioned, but that was sad, and this needed to not be. I guess I'm just thinking about the non-fanfic nature of life. Where it takes a guy a long while to figure himself out, because good intentions are separate from shifting how you think. Basically wanted Eddie in a situation where he has to reconcile the difference between gender and anatomy, and rewrite his own definitions of what he is and isn't attracted to. Robin had to go through a similar thing as she became attracted to Steve but only in the abstract. They're too platonic for gender to stop their bond

[keto-keyes]

Slytherins with a non!Deatheater S/O

Imagine/preference

The Slytherins are down bad for their partners. So how do they rip off the band aid and break the news that secretly, they're all bad?

Mattheo Riddle:

We all know he's a bad boy with a bad attitude

...except around his S/O

He doesn't try to hide the blood on his hands, but uses the excuse "I was protecting you"

He does actually do it to protect you, don't worry

His dad threatens to end you if he refuses to do his Deatheater duties

So he makes sure to keep you around him whenever he can to make sure you can't get hurt

Our boy stresses the heck out whenever you get even the smallest bit injured

It might start fights sometimes between the two of you, but you KNOW this mamas boy would never lay a hand on you in the wrong way

If you try to join, he discourages it

He doesn't want to psychologically scar you

lots of time together whenever he can kick his dad outta his mind

Then he holds you tight like he's gonna lose you

Don't ever stop loving this man, alright?

Tom Riddle:

It's kinda impossible for you not to know about his...situation

It's all anybody talks about when you're around

But he only wants to protect you

So he makes sure to keep you distracted whenever he must get the job done

He'll take you dancing, or go shopping afterwards

sometimes you might need to clean him up after a scuffle

he lets you, but only if you promise not to ask how he got the injuries

His dad also threatens him with losing you and he could never be complete without his S/O safely in his arms

if somehow you get tangled in his mess of deatheater-ness, he will sacrifice EVERYTHING for you

his only thought is to keep you safe

Theodore Nott:

He doesn't tell you he's a Deatheater until you meet his friends

That's right, he didn't let you meet his friends

not at first

after you meet them, it's kinda like momentum until he finally tells you he's a deatheater

he definitely expects you to hate his ass, but you don't so he's hopeful

he smokes to forget all the horrible things he does.

he does it more once he finally confesses, but tries not to when you're around.

dw, his stoic attitude when you ask him about being a deatheater isn't him being uncaring

he just forgot how to feel remorse after being a human murder weapon for so long.

it's like torture for him, and he hates it

So care for him please, as best you possibly can

Draco Malfoy:

He's probably the most affected by the deatheater thing

If you're dating him, either you're younger than him or your families are close.

So you know all about the deatheater thing

he pretends having a dangerous father is a good thing

like, he can destroy draco's enemies in an instant,

but... he could also force you to join Voldemort, and that's something that can never happen.

you have to either be holding his hand or his cheek AT ALL TIMES,

otherwise his anxiety causes him to start shaking

he'll whisper all his worries as he weeps himself to sleep, and sometime you catch him doing it

his dad only protected him for so long, now it's your turn

Blaise Zabini:

He doesn't talk about it

ever

even when you two have been dating for a while, he doesn't mention it

it's not your problem, it's his

and he wants it to stay that way for as long as possible

he's afraid telling you will somehow lead to Voldemort knowing, and holding it against him

especially since the only thing Voldemort's actually threatening him with is death. extremely painful death.

so he doesn't even mention it.

you know though. you know how painful killing and torturing is for him.

it tears him apart, almost to the point where he wants to smoke with theo

sometimes he wishes desperately that he could tell you everything, but he's scared you would be in danger.

so he stays quiet and lets the anguish build

he doesn't crack. ever

he stays stoic and silent. caring

Pansy Parkinson:

she doesn't like to bother you with the gorey details,

but sometimes they slip out

she breaks down all the time. it's traumatising

but she can't really articulate what she feels

so she just cries as you hold her to your chest/side

yeah, idk i didn't really have any ideas for pansy

Lorenzo Berkshire:

he may be a little flouncy at times, but he cares about your wellbeing enough to protect you

its his main goal in life

so he tries to keep himself between you and the others for as long as possible. like theo

its less of a "you don't need to know them"

and more of a "what? other people? who needs people when I'm your cute bf?" while waving his hands in front of you so you focus on him

he lets you wash his cuts for him

and do his hair in consolidation for not being by your side for a few hours.

Voldemort really can't touch enzo without hurting you.

So he keeps his mouth shut about it a lot.

sweet boy livin in a cruel world, what can i say

[heeliopheelia]

𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐒/𝐎

part 2

genre: angst, established relationship

word count: 2.9k

warnings: curse words (and some of the boys are really cruel to yn :()

masterlist

LEE HEESEUNG

"Please, can we talk about this tomorrow?" Heeseung groans as he slumps down on the couch, rubbing his face with his hands. He really doesn't want to get mad at you at such late hour but he can't help it when you keep talking his ear off from the moment that he's walked into your shared apartment. "I'm dead tired, just let it go for now, okay?"

"I'm not sleeping with you today," you scoff, not even daring to look at him so that he doesn't notice the tears of frustration that have started brimming in your eyes.

You've just found out from one of Heeseung's friends that he was out with his ex for almost the entire day. Without telling you a word about it. Normally, you weren't the jealous type as you trust your boyfriend with your whole heart. But after hearing that he's been having the time of his life with the girl that has once broken his heart, while you were at home waiting for him to come back, your thoughts drifted onto a completely different track.

"Why? Fuck, so what if I saw her today?' He exclaims, slapping his thighs with a breathless laugh. "Nothing happened! She just wanted to talk, YN! Talk. Stop trying to turn it into something that it's not."

"Then why didn't you even bother telling me that you were meeting her?" You ask, involuntarily letting yourself get emotional and raising your voice as well. "Who even does shit like that?"

"I just didn't think it would matter so much to you, that's all. I thought you trusted me a little more!"

"So you're saying that if I were to hang out with my ex and didn't tell you anything about it, you'd be fine with it?" You snort when he nods his head. "Alright, yeah. I almost believe you."

"God, you're just like her! Why would I ever think of cheating on you with her when the two of you are exactly alike?" Heeseung ignores the hurt look on your face and keeps on talking nonsense, fueled up by anger. "Both have trust issues. Both are ridiculously jealous. Both are way too clingy for anybody to bear. Fucking twins!"

You laugh in disbelief as you stand up from the couch. "Why are we even in this relationship if I'm so fucking unlovable to you?"

"Good question," he quietly murmurs.

You don't bother to wait for his apology or pleads for you to stay as you know he's way too deep in his anger to even start acknowledging your feelings now. You don't even have the strength to slam the door, so you just quietly let them shut behind you as you walk out on the dark street.

PARK JAY

You cross your arms over your chest, watching as your boyfriend finishes getting dressed for work. He said he would take the day off today but he obviously forgot to do so and now is leaving you hanging onto another empty promise.

"You're twisting my words! I just said you promised you would stay with me today, that's all."

"Well and I said I forgot! End of the story," Jay grumbles at you, dismissing you with a flick of his hand. "Whatever, I don't have time for this right now."

"You never do!" You raise your voice involuntarily and turn your face away as you feel the tears gathering in your eyes. How could he forget? "Not even once have I ever been prioritized while being in this relationship with you! And it's not like you even have anything important to do today!"

"We're not having this conversation again," he laughs breathlessly, threading his fingers through his hair. "My boss called me and said he needs my help. Of course my job is gonna come first in a situation like that, YN! After all this time, I thought you'd be more understanding by now."

"Yeah, it's just there are days where I want to be put first for a change. It's not like I ask you for that every week!"

You can't help but let the tears drop down your cheeks, failing to hide your emotions for any longer. You're right, though. Jay knows it too. You never complain about his work or ask him to take the day off, unless the date is important to you. It's just too bad he is too much in his own head to think about it for a little longer.

"I can always take the day off next week!" Jay says with a roll of his eyes. "And, god, why do you always have to cry?"

"Because it's my fucking birthday, you asshole," you breathe out in a broken voice before standing up from the bed.

Jay's eyes almost double in their size as he lets your words repeat in his mind. Birthday. It's your birthday. He tries to grab your wrist as you walk past him but you jerk it away from him.

"Honey, I-"

"I don't wanna talk to you right now."

You rush out of the bedroom. Slamming the bathroom door behind you, you slide to the ground and bury your head in your hands, finally letting out the sob that's been weighting on your throat throughout the entire morning. 

SIM JAKE

As you walk out of the restaurant angrily, you dial Jake's number. It's the fourth time you've been stood up by him like that, sitting completely embarrassed and alone at the table reserved for two. Jake was supposed to meet you here forty minutes ago and while at first you waited patiently for him, knowing his schedule is rather tight, after almost an hour of having your calls not answered, you started losing your cool.

"Hi, baby. What's up?" You hear his cheerful voice from the other side of the phone.

"Nothing much besides the fact that I've been stood up by my boyfriend once again this week," you reply in a rather passive aggressive manner as you open the door of your car. "How was your day, babe?"

Jake keeps silent for a second or two before a groan leaves his throat. "Fuck, it completely slipped out my mind. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you should be," you nearly growl, starting your car. You curse quietly when the engine stutters and chokes but doesn't want to start by the first two times. "I waited forty minutes for you, jackass."

"Shit, are you still there? Just wait a little more and I'll be there soon, I promise."

You scoff loudly. "You've got some nerve, I'll give you that."

You can hear him sigh heavily and you can just picture how he's pinching the bridge of his nose at the moment. "Can you stop that? I already apologized. I'm sorry that I have to work."

"Oh, you're very welcome." You grit your teeth, keeping your phone pressed between your ear and shoulder as you drive out of the parking lot. "Would it really kill you to remember about me even once?"

"YN, you're not being fair right now," he says and you know he's pushing himself to his limits to not raise his voice at you. "Look, one of us has to actually make some money. I can't keep my head wrapped around everything."

"Oh, yeah? So you're at work right now?"

He stutters slightly. Got him. "Well, no I-"

"Jake, are you coming, man?"

Hearing Heeseung's voice shouting on the other line makes your fingers clench on the wheel tightly. You breathe in sharply and let out a short laugh. "Good to know what your priorities are, Jake."

"No, wait, I'm-"

You interrupt him again before ending the call, "Don't bother."

PARK SUNGHOON

You breathe out in relief when you hear the familiar sound of Sunghoon's car pulling up on the driveway. He hasn't been answering any of your calls since the afternoon and you really started getting worried. You've been arguing with each other throughout the couple past weeks and you took notice of how distanced he's become towards you. You've attempted to fix that but it's a really hard task to do with your boyfriend being as stubborn as he is.

"Oh my god, I was so worried about you," you say the second when Sunghoon walks into your house. "Where have you been?"

He only nods his head at you in acknowledgement and toes his shoes off wordlessly. You frown slightly at his sudden muteness and put the sizzling pan aside.

"I made you dinner, figured you'd be hungry," you start again and only get disappointed when he dismisses you curtly.

"I'm not."

Pressing your lips together, you nod your head slightly before following him to the living room and taking a seat next to him, not close enough to irk him any further though. The two of you sit in silence, mindlessly watching the random channel that Sunghoon played. He has his arms folded on his chest and you wonder what went so wrong that he suddenly turned so cold towards you.

So you try again, speaking with a soft voice. "Why didn't you answer my calls today, honey?"

You feel your whole body tensing when he lets out a groan. "Cause I didn't want you distracting me."

"Okay, what the hell is up with you, Hoon? Why the attitude?" You ask, turning away from the TV screen to look at your boyfriend's frowned up face.

You don't miss the roll of his eyes as he clicks his tongue. "For fuck's sake, if I knew you'd be this needy today, I would've stayed out longer."

You try not to show how much his words hurt you but the look on your face tells him a completely different story. You clear your throat and decide on voicing the thought that's made itself way too comfortable in your mind during the past few weeks. "Sometimes I just feel like you don't love me anymore."

"Well, maybe I would've loved you a little more if you stopped being so clingy. Seriously, fifteen calls, YN! Who the hell does that?"

Silence. His hurtful words linger in the air heavily and you both say nothing. You avoid his eyes, lips slightly trembling from the heartbreak. Sunghoon still says nothing as you stand up from the couch and leave the room in a rush.

KIM SUNOO

"Do you even hear yourself? Why would she be lying?" Sunoo shouts at you as he crosses his arms defensively.

You're gripping the edge of your sleeve tightly, trying to prevent yourself from raising your voice as well. Even though you're keeping cool, his words and accusations stab your heart with dozens of needles. Having your boyfriend believing his friend rather than you has got to be one of the worst feelings in the world.

"And why would I be lying?" You ask, glaring him down. "Why would I, your girlfriend, lie about my whereabouts? For fun?"

He scoffs at you. "Well, you didn't tell me you were hanging out with Sunghoon, did you?"

"No, because I wasn't hanging out with him, we just stumbled upon each other on my way back," you explain calmly as you clench your sleeve even tighter from frustration. "We literally talked for five minutes."

"That's not what what I've heard."

You roll your eyes at his stubbornness. "Yeah, cause what else would a person that's been in love with you for two years tell you?" You can't really help the sarcastic tone that's sneaked itself into your speech and you can see it only irks Sunoo more as he nearly scowls at you.

But all that you've said is the truth. Since the beginning of your relationship, you've noticed his best friend's spiteful looks thrown your way along with the heart-eyes directed at Sunoo. You've kept quiet for all this time, not saying a word even when he ditched you for her or made plans without your knowing. But this, this is just too much for you.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he has the audacity to laugh at you.

"No, Sunoo, it hurts me, you know?" You finally let all of your feelings that have been crumpled inside you for all these years. "Do you ever even try to acknowledge my feelings when you hang out with her?"

"Don't turn this on me right now. And I'm not allowed to have female friends now? What kind of a girlfriend even are you?"

You get up from his bed and scoff at him. "And what kind of a boyfriend accuses his girlfriend of cheating while he sneaks out without her knowledge to meet up with his best friend?"

With that, you turn on your heel and leave his apartment, slamming the door behind you.

YANG JUNGWON

"That's not what friends do, YN! Are you even listening to me?"

"I am but you're being ridiculous!" You bite back at your boyfriend, walking back from a lunch with your best friend.

Throughout the entire meal she's been throwing jabs and snarly remarks at you, and although you've already grown used to her attitude, Jungwon just couldn't let that slide. He thinks it's illogical that someone you've been calling your friend for such a long time, would act so mean and nearly insulting towards you.

"I don't understand how can you let her speak to you that way," he breathes out in disbelief. "I wanted to spit in her face after an hour of talking to her, why do you let her do this to you all the time?"

"Because she's my best friend, Won!" You try to stay your ground as you dig into your purse, looking for your keys. "That's just how she is. I've learnt not to take any offence in that. You shouldn't either."

"I just care about you, so forgive me for not liking it when someone insults my girlfriend!"

You sigh, feeling tired from the night and the ongoing argument. "I know you do but I don't see it that way. She's just rough around the edges, that's all."

"Of course you don't see it. All you need is constant validation. You just can't live with the thought of somebody not liking you. You'd let a stranger walk all over you only if it meant you had gotten his approval. That's not fucking healthy, YN!"

"How can you even say that to me? Why would you-," you stop yourself from engaging in this conversation and slump your shoulders with resignation. "I don't wanna do this anymore."

Jungwon sends you a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"I just want to be alone right now," you say and Jungwon can clearly hear the exhaustion in your tone. "I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for walking me back."

NISHIMURA RIKI

The moment that you hear the door slamming, you sigh as you realize it's one of these days again. For the past week or so, Niki has been coming home frustrated beyond words but not even once has he said what was bothering him. Sure, you've tried to intervene and ask him what's was it all about but he always dismissed you quickly. It hurts you to think that maybe he doesn't trust you enough to confide in you like that.

"Hi," you greet him as you stand up from the couch. You walk over to your boyfriend and wrap your arms around his neck in an attempt of hugging him but only get disappointed when you feel his body tense up. You pull away and look at him pointedly. "Another bad day?"

Niki hums and moves away from you, going into the direction of the kitchen. You follow him, feeling worried for him as you know he has the tendencies of bottling up his emotions inside.

"Wait! Don't ignore me again," you scolded him slightly, forcing yourself to stay calm and speak with the soft tone. You grab him by his forearm. "Niki?"

"Let go of me," he breathes out, voice heavy and your heart screams at the thought of him deciding to struggle with all of it by himself again.

You do as he asks and free his arm instantly. "Okay. Just talk to me, please?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Yn!" He snaps at you and runs his hand through his hair. "Stop pressing me!"

"No, you always keep acting like everything's fine when it's clearly not! I don't want you to keep it all to yourself. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about stuff like that," you explain, trying to keep him on your side. "I want to help you!"

"I don't need your help, though!" He scowls, sending you a sharp look. "If I knew you'd be sticking your nose into my business the second I walked through the door, I wouldn't even bother coming back."

"Hey, you're being mean now," you gasp slightly, feeling his words pulling at your heart again. "You're my boyfriend, of course I care about you! I hate seeing you like that but you just won't let me understand what's going on with you!"

"Are you my therapist or my girlfriend? Jesus, I'm not in the mood for that right now," he sighs heavily and walks past you straight for the door.

"No, wait!" You call after him but you're too late and he's already slamming the door behind his back.

permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19