#this was so unserious to write LMAO

[ubeb0nes]

Getting jealous (AGAIN) as Sevika's girlfriend...

you just can't catch a break, huh? your fault for falling in love with this absolute lady-killer

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a/n: ever since i remembered i have free will and can post all my sevika goblin thoughts i have been cooking entire posts up in like under an hour, somebody please help me LMAO

i had too many ideas for the jealous!reader, so here's another. i picture this as being my pit fighter!reader characterization, so do with that what you will :33

it isn't that you hate absolutely anybody looking at Sevika at all

like, you get it. and a part of you loves that everyone else can see just as clearly as you how absolutely captivating she is.

BUT IT GETS TO A POINT-

After the incident with the girl at the bar, Sevika does her best to make sure that you don't feel neglected in public. She slips, of course she does, but she does try like hell

It typically goes that anybody who approaches her, flat out doesn't acknowledge you. it's a by-product of how she's so non-PDA that it slips the mind of these thirsty women that she's even in a relationship

You, being a practical and results-driven individual, remedy this by being a little bolder in public every now and then

Nowadays, Sevika doesn't usually object. She understands why you're doing it now, and she's getting tired of the would-be homewreckers coming onto her too lol

You'll cup her cheek, give her a firm but quick kiss whenever you bring a drink over to her while she's in a game of cards. Come up beside her at the bar and rest your hand on her hip for a while (she fucking loves this one, she won't tell you though)

From then on, people start to get the message. If anybody's heartbroken over it, they become less inclined to showing it

So, you almost want to believe you're imagining things when you clock someone from across the bar who seems to keep giving you the stink eye

you're not dumb

you can see the way she's gesturing between you and Sevika to her friends, shaking her head in disgust. now that's a new one...

Sevika has her human arm over your shoulder while this is happening, the other holding onto her hand of cards. She looks over at you when you pluck the cigarillo out from her fingers and take a drag of your own in distress. She's deeply amused by this

"Okay, baby?" "Mhm. Peachy." You were not peachy. The hell did you do to deserve that look?

For a second Sevika thinks you're mad at her, frowning and angling her body towards you (she notices Ran trying to sneak a look at her cards as she does, and bucks playfully at them). Her eyes flick up to follow your line of vision, and then she understands

She chuckles under her breath.

"You could take her in a fight, princess."

oh, and don't you know it. You shake away the thought though, not wanting to escalate the situation in your head in the case that it's actually not at all what you think it is, and then you look stupid

You ask Sevika if she wants another whiskey and she declines, so you get up to just get yours. You're minding your business by the bar, trying to not grace that table with any more glances when that bites you in the ass as a shoulder checks yours

of course, it's the girl. I guess it wasn't in your head

You make eye contact with her when she looks over her shoulder at you and scoffs, shaking her head. You don't look away even as the bartender slides your drink into your hand

now, you have some options here. most of them include violence to some degree. you're contemplating them all as you're walking back to Sevika, eyes straight ahead

then you catch a few choice words from her table; something, something, "-can she fight..." you don't hear the rest, but does it really matter?

you stop in your tracks. you glance up at your girlfriend who didn't see what happened earlier but is watching you now, brow raised and mouthing what's wrong?

at this point, i don't think this even counts as jealousy, you're just defending your woman's honor

you give her a shake of your head that says don't worry (and now she's definitely worrying), and turn on your heel and make a beeline for the bitch's table

Sevika is about to get up to back you up- for whatever the situation may be- when she sees your posture as you stand over the girl from earlier.

Ran stops her though, grinning from ear to ear. "Let your girl have this, Sev. I wanna see her beat ass." Sevika scoffs, but tentatively sits back down. She trusts your judgement. Whatever your call is-

oh, you're smashing your glass over the girl's head. Ran gives a loud whoop

"You wanna take her from me? Go ahead, try," you'd said while Ran was talking Sevika down. The smile on your face was near-manic. "See what she does when you put your hands on me."

It's not like this woman was exactly tiny or helpless-looking; most in Zaun strived to be neither. But Sevika hadn't been lying when she said you could take her.

It was not a memo she'd received, though.

You couldn't recall what exactly she'd said, but you do know your mind reached an immediate state of singularity when she said she'd kill you before Sevika could do anything about it.

BET

"Goddammit-" Sevika barks out your name as she shoots up from her chair. Ran is doubled over with laughter

She's deceptively fast for her height, and thank fucking god for it. Her human arm wraps around your waist like a vise, pulling you back with ease

She would've been cutting up right with Ran in any other circumstance, given the way you were stancing on the now-dazed woman, fists clenched and shoulders shrugged up like an angry big cat

"Down, girl," she mutters to you. Her lips quirk up at the way you shift your jaw around, obviously still pissed off and ready to scrap

"I was defending your honor." "Mhm. What would I do without you, huh?"

Sevika's in front of you when the woman scrambles up out of her seat to retaliate. Sevika towers over the both of you, and you're nearly completely hidden behind her now as she glares at the woman

"You don't wanna fight her, much less me. Go ahead and clear off."

Maybe jealousy isn't as accurate of a term for you as territorial. You've got nothing to be jealous of, not with how fiercely devoted Sevika is at every turn

[corvusphilia]

★ MOST LIKELY TO HAVE A CRUSH ON AN ALTERNATIVE PERSON

ok so my favorite haikyuu blog (which has been inactive for 3 years rip) had this "most (to least) likely" series going on and I loved it sooo here's me throwing my hat in the ring as well (and yes this is mainly because I'm goth LMAO)

ೃ⁀➷ KAGEYAMA: He has NO IDEA what alternative culture is and doesn't listen to the music, but for some reason the fashion really catches his eye. A total sucker for gigantic/extra eyeliner.

ೃ⁀➷ NISHINOYA: Look me in the eyes and tell me he doesn't drool at the mere mention of fishnets. The edgy music? Black clothes? Silver accessories? The whole ragged aesthetic? Sign him the fuck up.

ೃ⁀➷ KUROO: CEO of wanting a goth s/o. He finds it so hot it's not even funny. I'm already a zero-rizz-kuroo-truther but I feel like it's even worse if you dress like that. Deadass got this man on his knees going "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-"

ೃ⁀➷ KYOUTANI: MY BOYFRIENDDD shit got him blushing fr. I mean just look at him. You're gonna tell me he wouldn't LOVE someone that can match his freak? Ugh just... sharing rings and spiked bracelets with him... guys I'm about to pass out

ೃ⁀➷ TENDOU: Let's get this outta the way: he likes interesting people. If you can catch his eye from the way you dress alone then yeah, he's interested. Also, absolute outfit thief. But it's okay because he lets you do his makeup to match the clothes he stole from you.

ೃ⁀➷ SEMI: This guy is in a BAND be for real. All he wants in life is an alt baddie to impress with his guitar skills. Also dare I say he'd look real cute with black lipstick marks all over.

ೃ⁀➷ SUNA: Again. Do I have to say anything. Look at this motherfucker. Yk what I'm going to be quiet because everything I have to say would regress feminism several decades you guys can figure it out yourselves

ೃ⁀➷ ATSUMU & OSAMU: They canonically have/had/whatever a crush on Saeko (which honestly who doesn't). Like there's just something about people who look like they could beat their ass that they really like for some reason. the miyans are bottoms in this essay I will

honorary mentions i don't have an explanation for i just know it in my bones: kei tsukishima, taketora yamamoto, kozume kenma, morisuke yaku (might as well just say the entire nekoma team at this point fr), hajime iwaizumi, akinori konoha, kourai hoshiumi

[tame-the-lion-writes]

Dang since maybe like

Fanfic is written for fun

People don’t have to critique it when critique wasn’t asked for 🤪

And basically say that their writing would be better

Wild thought really

I’ll probably delete this later lmao I’m just in a mood

Edit: THEY DONT EVEN USE PARAGRAPHS WHAT THE F UCC

[dayas]

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” + Klonnie 😈

But of course 🙂‍↕️

sliiigghhttllyyy nsfw

Drabble Prompts

—

Bonnie Bennett’s head pounded. She groaned, blindly fumbling about for her pillow. Her hand found smooth, corded muscle instead. Bonnie’s head snapped up to find a blonde haired hybrid with a suspiciously cherub like expression staring back at her.

��Yes?” Klaus Mikaelson prompted.

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

“Same reason you’re naked in it, love.”

Bonnie cursed, clutching her sheets around her tightly. Klaus tossed his head back, howling with laughter.

“It’s all coming back to you now, isn’t it?”

It was. Her hands rooting in his hair, tugging harshly while he bit down on her lip. Their bodies pressed together, slick with sweat as they moved. His head between her legs at some point, candle flames burning brighter and hotter. Him licking her off of his fingers and her tasting the smirk he wore.

Bonnie sank down deeper into her bed, grabbing the nearest pillow and placing it over her head.

“There’s no need for embarrassment, little witch. Though you’re especially pretty when you warm up like that.”

“Will you shut up?” Bonnie moaned, though the pillow muffled the sound. Thankfully, it also muffled the sound of Klaus’s laughter and hid the warmth in her cheeks he was no doubt referring to.

“You were rather warm last night,” he continued, “I’m sure you remember, when you were wrapped around my — ”

She threw the pillow off to the side, praying it smacked him in the face on its way. Then, Bonnie grabbed her sheets and sprinted from the room. She slammed her door shut as his laughter echoed through the house.

Stupid fucking hybrids and their stupid fucking dicks.

[msnihilist]

The Ben 10 writers are soooo unserious when it comes to writing relationships. They always make the woman perfect and flawless, and the man the bad guy if the couple fights as well as putting the burden of "proving" the relationship means something onto him, as well.

Like, the episode where Charmcaster and Darkstar hooked up is one of the most obvious examples of this. Darkstar is shown to be the undisputed bad guy in the relationship, for using Charmcaster for power, even though:

1) She is the one rushing into a two-day relationship with a teenager,

2) Charmcaster is a whole-ass adult, she's 22!

and 3) Charmcaster has killed people, why the fuck are you trying to make me feel bad for her because she got played by the minor she was desperate enough to throw herself at??

[ansburg]

cannot imagine getting mad about gnome racism when the main gnome cast is just like. white people who are purple

im very sorry barcus tucci but you are distracting from a serious conversation about racism in western fantasy when the slave-keeping race of dwarves overwhelmingly look like this

[noahtally-famous]

funny how this fic started off as an "unserious" idea (not cracky, more so i didn't take it that seriously, it was basically so i could rotate certain characters from my head into a google doc), i didn't expect to care abt it as much as i do now like i have a basic chapter layout for half of the set chapter count, specific scenes prewritten, a planning doc with around five pages thus far, the basics (title, summary, etc), random scenes for it spinning around in my head, and a bit of chapter one and three pages of chapter four written 😭

and i started properly thinking stuff for and working on this fic like...two days ago

it was not supposed to be This Serious hfjkdhf

[agentkatie]

modern AU where gale is unceremoniously sacked from his fancy university tenure and has to go work at the local comp with local moron sorceror tav (who recently set the department on fire)

[1o1percentmilk]

i am trying so so hard to make hatojosetou happen u guys

[sankttealeaf]

modern au ruetash is so funny to me because she would tell him to post thirst traps because it will "bring in the voters!" (she just wants to see him with his tits out)

gortash: "i am a respected public figure i cannot have my imaged scarred because you want to see me naked"

rue, ignoring him, unbuttoning his shirt further: "it's what the people want"

[kinnbig]

TRICKY TREET 🥺🎃🥺🎃🥺

hehehehe here is my very completely 100% serious Chart Topper playlist.

whether this is is a trick or a treat (or a tricky treet) is perhaps open to interpretation djckskcjd

✨🦇 fic writer ask game trick-or-treat 🦇✨

[writer-of-passion]

Working on this Fexi one-shot is so funny to me because why have I made Fezco into an utter thot in this? LMFAOOOO!

[blossoms-phan]

first paper of the summer semester that I haven’t started due in two hours and I’ve fallen down a dnp rabbit hole on Pinterest

[hauntingofhouses]

(tags via @icantbeseenlikethisonmymain)

no no you're valid and you're def not the only one!!

but in mizu and taigen's case they're arguably not merely turned on my harmless friendly sparring but also by violence and fighting with intent to harm.

i say this because taigen literally had sex with akemi while keeping his eyes closed the whole time, barely touching her, as he listened to her narrate a scenario of him stabbing and killing mizu.

meanwhile mizu's spark of desire towards taigen ignites while they are both tussling in the snow with the chopsticks, and throughout this fight, taigen is actively aiming for her still-recovering wounds and is repeatedly insulting her to her face. though he has no intent to kill her here, he is being outright aggressive, and fighting a little dirty. yet, when she thinks back to this fight in the next episode at madame kaji's, rather than feeling rage or hatred towards taigen, she is reminded of her own (sexual) desires.

so idk. getting turned on by sparring? not deranged! getting turned on by genuine aggression and violence? kind of veering into not-normal territory, but yeah, still not necessarily deranged. that was an exaggeration on my part. definitely kinky though. lmao.

"why would you ship mizu and taigen together they're sooooo toxic ugh taigen is AWFUL and mizu should be with ME instead!!!"

of course they're toxic they're both deranged and terrible and that's why they're perfect for each other.

cuz like omg you think mizu would treat you well? mizu would abandon you. look at how she left ringo multiple times. ringo who treats her so well and is nothing but patient and caring and loyal. if you are insecure she will laugh at you because she has no social tact. look at how mikio said "it's a stupid dream" talking about his ambitions of regaining his honour and mizu straight up chuckles and tells him he's right because it IS a stupid dream. and at this point their relationship was cordial and she was even warming up to him!

like. arguably, taigen would be a better romantic partner (per the ideals of his time and culture of course), or at least he would be on paper. cuz i mean as a husband, as he is now, i think he'd be awful. but i'm talking about if you and him were dating or courting or just seeing each other romantically, he would be good to you. like we saw how he behaved with akemi and he was nothing but sweet and gentle. the very reason akemi wanted to marry him so bad was because she KNOWS without a doubt that he respects women and would treat her well. "oh but he cheated on her with the prostitutes while celebrating his engagement!" yeah but per the norms of the time and place, it was not considered cheating and akemi (as well as any wife or romantic partner of that period) would not have minded or even cared.

and yes taigen IS an asshole and he IS obnoxious but come on. so is mizu, if she is allowed to act like herself around you. mizu will tease you and mock you and challenge you and even poke at your insecurities (see:her goading mikio on even though he clearly did not view her teasing as light-hearted banter and took it all very personally). she would tell you to your face if she thinks you're being annoying (see:mizu rolling her eyes and telling akemi to straight up just "shut up" when she'd believed mizu had killed taigen).

mizu is not merely a hot and talented badass with a sword and the insane hyperfocus on her desire for revenge which literally drives her to withstand like, extreme amounts of damage and survive it. mizu is also flawed and the show does a good job at showcasing this, and showing us that she's not merely a victim but also a multilayered person. we see throughout that mizu is blunt and sarcastic and prideful.

oh what's that? oh right, very similar to taigen, who is also hot and talented with a sword and with insane hyperfocus on his desire to duel mizu and regain his honour. taigen who is also flawed (though, arguably, more so) as he is blunt and sarcastic and prideful.

the only thing that sets mizu and taigen apart is the fact that taigen is a man and is not mixed race, which thus affects their positions in society and how people perceive them. these are external factors. taigen being a boy who is not blue-eyed allowed him to easily mingle with the other kids in the village, all of whom were similarly fed the same prejudiced values which led them to gang up against mizu and bully her.

but take all that away. strip them down to the bare essentials. suddenly it's like they are the same person copy and pasted.

and that's what makes them even more interesting. yes absolutely they would be toxic. whatever souls are made of, mizu's and taigen's are the same (derogatory). and we literally see them fight all the time!!!! but the thing is they are both deranged when it comes to this.

do you get me. they both literally get turned on by sparring. mizu's whole spar with mikio was her way of flirting. just look at how she smirked at him and said "unsheathe it" like it's clear that this is an innuendo of not just unsheathing his weapon but also what's in his pants. then during the chopsticks fight with taigen in the snow, despite mizu literally being injured and taigen trying to attack her, mizu gets attracted to him. meanwhile taigen got a boner after wrestling with her in the forge.

taigen goes around saying he wants to kill mizu to regain his honour but he still literally risks life and limb for her constantly. mizu gives ringo stomach ulcers by going around flinging herself into near-death situations 24/7. she ups and leaves her beloved swordfather with barely a goodbye twice to pursue her batshit far-fetched quest for revenge (against people she doesn't even KNOW btw because she literally starts off with practically No Leads and not even knowing the NAMES of the white men who are her maybe-fathers).

these bitches are crazy and you know what good for them. that shit needs to be contained and quarantined though and that's why in that sense they would be good together.

i want to put them both in a jar and shake it very hard and see what happens. personally i think they will argue and insult each other while working perfectly in sync with each other to break out of the jar and then proceed to kill me and make out sloppy style over my dead body while they're both covered in blood.

like that's it that's the dynamic. send post.

[beloved-daydreams]

Jurdan gets funnier and funnier the more you think about them and realize how much of a big loser both of them are when it comes to love.

Mfs get married to supposedly "form a trustworthy alliance" -> Cardan exiles Jude the next day to impress her, because apparently his rizz disappears when it truly matters 💀 -> Jude takes it seriously, stays in the human world for months and is salty af -> Cardan cries himself to sleep and writes pathetic little letters to her. Like wow you did that to yourself you dumb bitch 😭

And don't get me STARTED on their dumbass confessions. Cardan's was, I'm pretty sure, 80% on a whim. Like, maybe he had prepared the words in his mind but he didn't plan to confess to her right then and there at such a bad time. Says "well you probably already guessed as much" at the end then RUNS AWAY probably because he's overwhelmed and Jude is left standing there like???? No I fucking didn't guess you liked me lmao??? I'm dumb af bro, should've been this direct from the start :')

And Jude's is also hilarious because she says it kind of hurriedly as soon as they're alone, since she had promised herself to tell him the first moment they get together. Girlie confesses and CARDAN DOESN'T BELIEVE HER 😭 so homegirl has to EXPLAIN in DETAILS when she thinks she started to fall for him, why she started to like him, why she believed he didn't like her and why she felt the need to hide it. And ONLY after that whole ass explanation Cardan's finally like "omg!!! You liked me because I'm clever and funny?!?? Omgggg..."

Those fuckers were really married for months before fumbling their way through awkward confessions because they can't indulge in the thought that the other likes them. Like they were legit EMBARRASSED to admit that they like eachother while being MARRIED. Please this is so unserious, get real.

[maxverstappendefender]

baked goods // cl16 smau

description: baker!reader x cl16 (charles falls in love with a baker in italy)

tw: google translated french

face claim: madeline argy + random pictures from pinterest

a/n: this isn’t really winter themed but oh well. can’t believe this is my first time writing for charles! i don't own any photos used. part of my december fic series called winter in the fast lane

masterlist

winter in the fast lane masterlist

liked by user1, user2, and 523,019 others

yourbakery: whipping up some new things that i'm definitely excited to share with you all!

comments off

liked by user3, user4, and 20,475 others

clfan: SPOTTED - charles leclerc seen in italy signing some things and leaving a local bakery!

view all comments

user5: he looks so good

user6: the black jacket is superior

user7: a bakery?! what is this man doing at a bakery

↳ user8: who cares what he's doing at a bakery. look at the smile on his face!!!

↳ user9: who's got him smiling like that smh

user10: he better not be getting anything sweet at that bakery, we need all the help we can get this weekend at monza

↳ user11: FORZA FERRARIIIII

liked by user12, clfan, and 720,771 others

youruser: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I JUST MET THAT MAN.

view all comments

user13: WHAT MAN?!?!

user14: casual y/n freakout

↳ user15: calmest crash out ever

↳ user16: prettiest crash out ever

user17: WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT

user18: i fear y/n is me

liked by user19, charles_leclerc, and 802,641 others

youruser: swam with man.

view all comments

user20: now tell me you see who's in the likes too

user21: WHAT MAN LADY

user22: who are we talking about.

user23: never been so confused

user24: TELL ME WHAT MAN

user25: charles what are you doing here

↳ charles_leclerc: just scoping it out

↳ user26: what is happening

↳ user27: what in the crossover episode

liked by carlossainz55, youruser, and 1,092,485 others

charles_leclerc: went to a bakery and won a race - coincidence? i think not.

tagged: yourbakery

view all comments

yourbakery: definitely not a coincidence

↳ user28: i feel like i'm intruding

user29: now i don't want to sound crazy, but who took the picture on the last slide

↳ user30: literally what i'm saying

↳ user31: probably joris or andrea

↳ user32: or y/n. she went swimming with a man according to her instagram

↳ user33: OH MY GODDDD

carlossainz55: i don't think it was the stuff you bought at the bakery that was your good luck charm

↳ user34: what does this sneaky man know

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, and 812,301 others

youruser: went to a grand prix ✅ went on a scavenger hunt ✅ had help baking some delicious cookies ✅

tagged: scuderiaferrari

view all comments

user35: she knows about the speculation with charles lmao

↳ user36: she's just trolling at this point

↳ user37: unless she's not

user38: soft launching is so lame, just hard launch!

↳ youruser: where's the fun in that?

↳ user39: her hard launch is the first photo.

scuderiaferrari: forza ferarri

↳ youruser: sempre!!

liked by youruser, scuderiaferrari, and 1,273,478 others

charles_leclerc: heard soft launching was lame

tagged: youruser

view all comments

youruser: CHARLES

↳ user40: someone's sleeping on the couch lmaooo

user41: WHAT.

user42: well, couldve seen that coming

youruser: was it necessary to tag me omfggg

↳ charles_leclerc: of course, mon porte-bonheur (my good luck charm)

↳ user43: HE CALLS HER HIS GOOD LUCK CHARM

↳ user44: probably due to him winning monza when she was there

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 912,546 others

youruser: guess we're hard launching?

tagged: charles_leclerc

view all comments

user45: they're so cute together

charles_leclerc: glad i went into that bakery a few months ago

↳ youruser: i appreciate your business.

↳ user46: she's so unserious

carlossainz55: girl, we have the same boyfriend.

↳ maxverstappen: hey girly! i know you don't know me but... i think he's cheating on you

↳ pierregasly: ladies, ladies! enough fighting! he's mine, try harder next time 💋

↳ landonorris: well, this is awkward since he's actually married to me with 3 kids 😊

↳ youruser: i knew i was the side ho smh

↳ charles_leclerc: what did i just witness

↳ user47: poor charles

↳ user48: more like poor y/n