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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 1 year ago

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Who Taught You How to Love Like That? - Chapter Four

Pairing: Modern!Aemond Targaryen x female character (third person) Warnings: Sugar daddy/sugar baby dynamics. Smut. Oral (f receiving). Angst. Word count: ~3.5k

Series masterlist

Chapter summary: An understanding is reached and Aegon dishes family dirt at a BBQ.

Author's note: I don't have a tag list - please follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications. Only scabs community label fics. If you find yourself tempted to slap a label on this, please block me instead.

Her phone vibrates on the coffee table, the buzzing causing it to move dangerously close to the edge. Quick as a flash, Mysaria lunges forward from the sofa to catch it before it topples to the floor, smirking when she sees the name that’s flashing up on the screen.

“How many times is that today now?” She asks, gently tossing the phone to her as a missed call notification replaces the incoming call alert.

She shrugs, not averting her gaze from the TV screen as a rerun of Come Dine with Me, that neither of them are particularly paying attention to, plays to itself. “Dunno. He’ll get the hint eventually.”

It’s Sunday evening and she hasn’t spoken to Aemond since she woke up alone in his flat the previous morning, despite the fact he texts and calls her more times than she can count. She deletes the messages without reading them, and lets each of his calls go to voicemail. He’d made her feel cheap, used, put a price on her body, and she had no desire to ever speak to him again.

Mysaria sighs, flopping back against the sofa cushions. “Can I be a bitch for a second?” She asks, turning her head to face her. “You aren’t going to like it, but I think you need to hear it.”

She leans her head back, eyes flitting to meet her flatmate’s, already feeling a prickle of annoyance heat her skin, but decides to let her say her piece. “Go on then.”

“Why are you punishing him because you’ve caught feelings?”

Her annoyance bursts forth into anger as her brow furrows, her body language becoming squared and defensive. “I haven’t–”

“Yes, you have,” Mysaria interrupts. “I get that he did a shitty thing by leaving you high and dry, but he clearly feels bad or he wouldn’t keep trying to reach you. Give the guy a chance to explain himself, if you don’t like what he has to say then break things off.”

She scoffs in frustration, turning back towards the TV and rolling her eyes. “You are so bloody annoying!”

“Because I’m right,” Mysaria says smugly, leaning over to tap her on the nose. “You gonna call him back then?”

She chews her lip absentmindedly, turning her phone around in her hands. She supposes it wouldn’t hurt to reach out to him, if only to ask how to return the five grand he’d transferred to her.

The buzzer to the flat startles her out of her train of thought and Mysaria peels herself off of the sofa with a groan of “Finally! I’m bloody starving!”

Pizza first, then she’ll call him. She’s definitely not putting it off, she reasons with herself, she just doesn’t want her food to go cold.

“Erm…so it’s not pizza…” Mysaria says awkwardly as she re-enters the living room, a silver haired figure a good deal taller than her trailing behind her.

Dread gnaws at her stomach as she takes in the sight of Aemond, hair thrown back in a bun, dressed in a tight black henley and fitted black jeans, holding the largest bouquet of lilies and roses she’s ever seen before. Even when she’s angry with him he still manages to look absolutely breathtaking, and it irritates her.

“I’ll just…uh…” Mysaria makes a gesture towards her bedroom, and quickly makes herself scarce.

Lucky bitch.

“You’ve not been returning my calls,” Aemond says flatly.

“No…” She responds quietly, feeling the warmth of embarrassment spread through her, as she plucks nervously at the legs of her jogging bottoms. He’s never seen her not put together, and she loathes that she feels shame for her appearance, when she hasn’t done anything wrong. Him seeing her with messy hair, an oversized t-shirt and threadbare joggers makes her feel weak and vulnerable in his presence.

“Or replying to my texts.”

“I know.”

“Listen, if the other night wasn’t good, or I hurt you–”

“Why don’t you sit down?” She interjects, suddenly realising how absurd he looks, stood in the middle of the living room, dwarfing everything around him with his obscenely large bunch of flowers.

Aemond nods gratefully, taking the seat next to hear. “These are you for, by the way,” He tells her, handing her the flowers.

She hums a quiet thanks, immediately overwhelmed by the sweetness of their aroma, and places them on the coffee table, knowing she’ll need no distractions if she’s to say what she needs to say.

“The other night was great, really great, actually,” She begins. “But you just left the next morning without a word, and that really upset me.”

“You were upset because I left?” He asks, sounding almost surprised.

“Yes!” She replies with exasperation. “You made me feel cheap, and used.”

“Cheap? But I bank transferred you afterwards.”

“Jesus, Aemond! I’m not a prostitute!” She throws up her hands angrily, gesticulating her point.

He swallows thickly, clearly considering his next words carefully. “I know you said you’ve never done anything like this before, but neither have I, and I made a mistake. My grandfather called me into the office early on Saturday morning. You looked so peaceful sleeping that I didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry that my carelessness has hurt you, but I am keen to continue our arrangement.”

It all seems so simple when he words it like that. She could easily have reached out to question his actions, but she’d allowed her emotions to guide her and now feels foolish because of it. When she says nothing, Aemond presses on.

“No funny business, I promise. We don’t have to sleep together again, but I’ve enjoyed having your company at family functions, it makes them more bearable. Please say you’ll consider it?”

She’s not sure what prompts the words from her mouth, perhaps it’s the pleading look in Aemond’s eye, or the fact that she enjoys his company too, but she says them before she fully has a chance to think about them. “Okay, we’ll carry on as before.”

“Thank you,” He says earnestly.

The buzzer sounding again prevents him from saying anything else, as Mysaria hurries from her room towards the door, in pursuit of her pizza delivery.

“I suppose that’s my cue to leave,” Aemond says softly. “I’ll text you, okay?”

She nods, and they both stand, hovering near each other, both unsure of what would be an appropriate goodbye. Eventually Aemond leans in, kissing the corner of her mouth lightly before pulling back and exiting the flat. She holds her fingers against the area, still able to feel the press of his lips even after he’s departed.

It takes three days for Aemond to message her again, and in that time it feels as though she could crawl out of her own skin with the apprehension that his silence brings. Had he changed his mind, decided her withdrawing contact over an honest mistake was too much to deal with? It fills her with a nervous energy that makes the days unbearable.

The relief she feels when he finally deigns to reach out is borderline humiliating.

Not sure if you remember my half sister, Rhaenyra, but she is having a BBQ on Saturday. Are you free?

I remember. Are you sure you want to go after what happened on your mum’s birthday? Xoxo

My mother will never let me hear the end of it if I don’t go. Will you come with me?

Yeah, I’m free :) xoxo

When Saturday finally rolls around, she keeps her hair and make-up simple, wearing a floral sundress and strappy sandals, but immediately feels underdressed as she recognises the house they pull up outside of as being the one they’d been to for Jace and Baela’s engagement party.

She has little time to dwell on her appearance though, as Aemond ushers her through the expanse of the house and out into the back garden. A sprawling, lush green lawn that could be considered more of a field due to its size plays host to various members of the Targaryen and Hightower families, as the smell of barbecued meat lingers on the breeze.

Aemond leads her around, his hand glued to the small of her back, so she can say polite hellos to everyone. Alicent and Criston greet her with warm hugs and kisses to both cheeks, Helaena does the same, while standing with Baela and Rhaena, the two girls offer a quick “hello” in sing-song unity. Aegon merely holds up a hand by way of greeting, looking less than enthusiastic to be there, and Otto says a polite “good to see you both”. The rest of the family’s greetings are a little more frosty, with Rhaenyra, Jace, Luke and Joffrey giving curt nods of acknowledgement, while Daemon is too preoccupied with the barbecue to notice they’ve even arrived.

“Viserys and Aegon not joining us?” Alicent asks Rhaenyra softly.

“It would mean having to switch off their Playstation, so I very much doubt it,” Rhaenyra says with a roll of her eyes.

The tension is palpable, but her nerves subside slightly when she sees a Rhodesian ridgeback galloping around the garden, with a copper coloured dachshund hot on its heels.

“Oh cute!” She says, turning to Aemond. “Could you not have brought Vhagar?”

“No,” He sighs. “She doesn’t get along with Syrax and Caraxes, so I’ve left her with the dog sitter.”

She gratefully accepts a glass of Pimm’s that’s offered to her by Otto, before he tells Aemond he needs a word.

“You’ll be okay for a moment won’t you, darling?” Aemond asks her.

The pet name causes her breath to catch in her throat and she merely nods, not trusting herself to speak. As they walk away together, she wanders over to a corner of the large garden, pretending to examine an ornate sundial to keep herself busy, when she feels a presence beside her.

Aegon has sidled up to her, beer in hand, a slight smirk on his face. “Having fun?”

“About as much as you are, by the looks of things,” She replies with a tight smile.

“At least you’re getting paid to be here.”

Her eyes go wide, her chest tightening as she realises he knows.

Aegon chuckles. “Ah, you didn’t think I knew? It’s fine, who do you think showed him the app?”

“O-oh…” is all she’s able to stammer, feeling too shocked to say anything else.

“You play a convincing part,” He takes a swig from his bottle. “Too good to be acting, actually. You can’t fake how you look at my brother.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She snaps, feeling the familiar heat of embarrassment tingle at her flesh.

Aegon snorts derisively. “Look, take it from me, don’t get attached. My brother is the last person you want to get involved with. This whole family is a fucking car crash.”

She sips anxiously at her drink, nodding slightly. “I’d noticed none of you seem to get along that well.”

“That is the fucking understatement of the century. Has Aemond told you much about us?”

“Nothing substantial.”

“Allow me to fill you in,” He gestures discreetly towards Alicent. “My mother used to be best friends with my half-sister, they went to school together. My grandfather and my father were business partners, tri-owners of multiple companies alongside Daemon. When my father’s wife, Rhaenyra’s mother, passed away suddenly, my mother started dating my father.”

“Jesus…” She mutters under her breath.

“Oh, it gets worse!” He says with a leer. “See, Rhaenyra wasn’t happy that her best friend had shacked up with her dad. I mean, who would be? She was even more pissed off when the three of us came along, as it meant she was no longer an only child. She started sleeping around to get back at my father, that’s how she ended up with those three.”

Aegon nods towards where Jace, Luke and Joffrey all stand.

“What about her other two children, Aegon and Viserys?”

“Those are the kids she’s had with Daemon. They got married shortly before my father passed away. Mum thinks she did it just to strengthen her claim of the assets, as Daemon’s a partner in the business and Dad didn’t bother to leave a will. Everything Mum has ever tried to claim for us she’s contested.”

“So that’s what all that talk of Dragonstone Cottage was about at your Mum’s birthday?”

“Yeah, ‘Nyra’s sneaky way of trying to hoard assets for her brood.”

“How do Baela and Rhaena fit into all of this?”

“They’re Daemon’s children from a previous marriage.”

“But Baela is engaged to Jace, isn’t that a bit…” She trails off, not knowing the exact word she wants to use.

“Incestuous?” Aegon lets out a laugh that borders on being too unhinged to come from a place of genuine mirth, before taking another swig of his beer. “Yeah, yeah, it is.”

“So what does this have to do with Aemond? Why should I not get involved?”

Aegon rounds on her. “Has he ever told you about, y’know…” He taps his eye.

She shakes her head. “No.”

“Hmmm. Probably best to leave that to him to explain then.”

Their attention is pulled away by the sound of a fork being tapped against the side of a glass. She turns to see Daemon standing at the head of the garden. “Just wanted to thank you all for joining us today”, He says as everyone gathers closer, herself and Aegon included. “I think such an occasion is cause for celebration.” He brandishes a bottle of champagne, before popping the cork, a few that are stood closest step back out of its line of fire.

Luke smirks, elbowing Aemond. “He should be careful, almost had your other eye out.”

It happens so suddenly it seems like a blur, but Aemond has Luke by the collar and Aegon is rushing forward to tackle Jace away. Punches are thrown from both sides, until the ensuing scuffle is broken apart by Daemon and Otto.

Aemond’s eye is wild as he approaches her, his breathing ragged, and his usually immaculately styled hair tousled. “Come on, we’re leaving,” He grits out.

She has to hurry to keep up with his long strides through the house and to the car, and they drive in silence, Aemond’s knuckles blanched with the force of the grip he has on the steering wheel.

She drums her fingers anxiously against her thighs, not quite knowing what to say, but it is Aemond who eventually breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” He says quietly. “It was a bad idea for us to go today.”

“What was that all about?” She asks as gently as she can. “What got you so heated?”

Aemond sighs heavily, keeping his focus on the road ahead, and for a moment she doesn’t think he will answer her.

“Luke’s the reason I lost my eye,” He admits. “His little comment today got to me, and I lashed out.”

“What happened?” She turns slightly in the passenger seat to face him.

“It’s stupid really, an irresponsible rich family allowing their kids to roam the woods with Airsoft guns. The official story is that it was an accident, but accidents don’t happen at point blank range, accidents aren’t something you never apologise for.”

“Jesus, Aemond, I’m so sorry.” Her heart aches for him, having to play happy families with someone who has maimed him

“It is what it is,” He says with a slight shrug. “Makes being around them harder than it already is though. Thank you for being there with me today.”

“That’s alright,” She fidgets nervously with the hem of her dress as they pull up outside her block of flats. “Do you want to come inside for a bit? You shouldn’t be alone when you’re feeling like this.”

No funny business.

Her heart races as Aemond’s hands disappear up her skirt, reappearing with her underwear grasped in his fingers, dragging them down her legs.

We don’t have to sleep together again.

She buries her hands into the softness of his hair as he latches his mouth against her, bringing her to quick release with harsh strokes of his tongue. Every thought of what they’d discussed on Sunday evening leaves her mind as he pushes her back against the mattress, the force of his thrusts inside of her causing her toes to curl and her eyes to roll back, until he eventually collapses against her with a grunt, the faint pulsation of him inside of her signifying he’s reached his end.

They fall asleep, curled around each other in her tiny double bed and she’s pleased to see he’s still there when she awakens the following morning.

“Your mattress is fucking terrible,” Aemond grouses sleepily, pulling her tighter against him. “It feels like I’ve slept on a pile of loose change.”

She giggles, nuzzling into his neck.

They spend most mornings like that, over the coming weeks. Aemond becomes a frequent presence in the little flat. Her feet stay planted in his lap while they watch TV after work in the evenings, before he fucks her into the mattress like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. Their mornings are lazy and indulgent, spent slowly exploring every inch of each other, before they part ways to go to work, only to do it all over again in the evening.

She buys a dog bed, which takes up half the floor space in her bedroom. Aemond raises an eyebrow at this.

“Vhagar’s quite fussy about where she sleeps,” He tells her, only to watch in disbelief as the elderly doberman circles several times on it, before settling down to nap. “I stand corrected.”

Their presence in her life becomes larger as time goes on, and it’s difficult not to feel that it is more than it is, but she is constantly reminded of the transactional nature with every shopping trip on Oxford Street, every visit to Champney’s Spa, each time he hands her his credit card.

The thought occurs to her that perhaps she ought to broach the topic of what they are, how their relationship is developing, but each time she decides against it, too afraid he’ll say something she doesn’t want to hear.

Mysaria smiles as she sees them snuggled together in front of the TV, when she comes home. “You’re here so often, we’ll have to start charging you rent,” She says playfully.

Aemond pulls out his phone, bringing up his banking app. “How much?” He asks, deadly serious.

“Aemond, she was joking!” She laughs, swatting his arm playfully.

It’s been a slow Saturday morning, almost midday and she sits at the kitchen table, a satisfied ache between her legs, as she sips at a coffee while Aemond plates up eggs benedict for them both. One of the things that surprises her most about him is that he’s able to cook, and he does it well.

She eyes him carefully as she pokes at her breakfast, unable to shift the feeling of how his fingers dug into her flesh, how he gazed at her so reverently, his lips featherlight against her throat just an hour before.

His money, his lavish lifestyle, she wants none of it. She just wants him, so she decides that this time she’ll be brave and shoot her shot before she has the opportunity to second guess herself.

Carefully, she sets down her cutlery and rests her chin against her hand. “So I’ve been thinking…about us.”

Aemond pauses, fixing her with his right eye.

Nerves flutter in her belly at his silence, but she continues anyway. “What we have, let’s make a proper go of it? I don’t care about your money, Aemond, I just want to be with you.”

He clears his throat, setting down his own knife and fork, before slowly wiping his mouth on a napkin. “I can’t do that,” He says quietly.

She is immediately struck by the hollowness in her chest, sucking in a harsh breath to ground herself against the lump forming in her throat.

Aemond reaches across the table, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’re perfect,” He reassures her. “But I’m not, and I don’t do relationships. My circumstances are too complicated, I’d end up hurting you, and that’s the very last thing I want to do.”

She can’t argue with him, he’s being so bloody nice about it, and Aegon had warned her of this. She wants to scream at him, to cry, to tell him it isn’t fair, but it’s her that has asked for this, and at least he’s being honest with her, even if the truth does make her feel like her chest is being crushed under a vast weight. “I understand,” She chokes out.

“I’m sorry,” He says sadly, genuinely.

“Can you…can you just go, please?” She whispers, unable to look at him.

He nods, standing and presses a gentle kiss to her temple before leaving.

Only after she hears the front door click closed, and the feel of his lips have faded from her skin, does she allow herself to fall apart. Hot tears cascade down her cheeks, as she feels the presence that has taken up so much of her life leave behind a gaping void in its wake.

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strawberryblondebutch · 5 months ago

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So I read Britta Curl's apology.

Emphasis on read, because no way in hell am I listening to that whole thing with my shitty auditory processing. So please acknowledge that this means I'm potentially missing out on tonal cues and body language.

I don't think she's changed. A good apology recognizes what you've done wrong and how you'll improve in the future. She seems to think that her posts are the problem, not the beliefs that motivated said posts. Her improvement plan is to "grow in humility, and grow in love." I'm not sure where most marginalized groups would rank that in their restorative justice plans.

Even if the apology's content is lackluster, the fact it exists is good. That Curl felt she needed to say something, for her own and the league's reputation, means she knows that eyes are on her. There are degrees of harm in public figures. Among baseball players, you can trace a line down from Curt Schilling (actual Breitbart personality) to Jason Adam (refused to wear a pride cap in a game) to Brad Hand (likes Trump tweets on Twitter in silence). I have no respect for the beliefs Hand's social media activity suggests that he has, but he's not saying on the record that being gay is a bad lifestyle choice, nor is he tweeting about how awesome that Capitol riot was. My personal respect may be nonexistent, but Hand's actions are less directly harmful.

I would love if Britta Curl changed her beliefs. I don't engage in moral Puritanism. I believe that people can change, and I want them to. If she came out with an apology tomorrow where she said, "I understand that my words and actions have hurt members of the trans and Black communities, and here are the steps I am taking to understand why this is so harmful so that I can improve, I would support her. But that's not what happened.

Whether we like it or not, this shit does matter. Arguably, it matters even more in women's sports. I don't like it. I would love if the WNBA, PWHL, or any other league were one where you could shut up and play, and you weren't expected to be a role model for young girls everywhere (which, that's a rant all of its own). But at the end of the day, you can't cater who you are to a hypothetical ideal. You have to cater it to the world that you're in. And yeah, that sucks.

The increased scrutiny on female athletes will always affect marginalized groups more. I'm not going to speak too much on racism in the WNBA, because I don't consider myself an expert on it (I'm only a casual basketball fan, no matter the gender), but I've seen the scrutiny leveled on Angel Reese compared to Caitlin Clark. I also remember Hilary Knight being fucking terrified to come out as queer because of all the outside pressure on her. Having to hide what you believe is different than hiding what you are.

She's not going to get top-six minutes this coming season, and the discourse is going to be insufferable. Yeah, Curt Schilling's a terrible human being, and although his beliefs got worse after retirement, he was an outspoken conservative when he won the 2004 World Series. Compare that to Trevor Bauer, whose shooters claim that he's being blacklisted by the Woke Mob, when he's really just... not a good pitcher, and he's also managed to piss off every manager he's ever had. Britta Curl will not be one of the six best players on Minnesota unless something goes terribly wrong - she's not a better center than Heise or Pannek, and she's not a good enough sniper to move to the wing. The worst people you know will claim she's being punished for her beliefs, because they do not understand how sports work. Block and move on.

It is still very funny that she blocked me on Twitter. Block and move on goes both ways, but I didn't tag her in the post or anything, which means she name searches.

Once again, if you read this far, please consider giving to Prevention Point or Savage Sisters. Harm reduction is important. Those two organizations are why I'm still alive, and the city of Philadelphia wants addicts to die.

#kiera talks hockey #pwhl #britta curl #reblogs are ok but don't clown on this post #i'll answer asks about her but clownery will also be deleted #oh and respect addicts or die by my sword

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leahrintarou · 1 year ago

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☠︎︎ DAY NINE: THREESOME FT. MIYA TWINS

☠︎︎ WARNINGS: requested! soft!dom osamu, hard!dom atsumu, sub!y/n, fem reader, female anatomy, edging, wet dreams, oral sex, threesome

☠︎︎ WORD COUNT: 1.8k

"I'm going to take a nap in the guest room"

it was now two hours after y/n informed the twins of her exhausted state which is why the two decided to past time buy playing a game on the console located in atsumu's room. "after this game, we should check on y/n. she did seem pretty out of it"

"mhm" atsumu nodded, focusing on trying to win against his brother. it was their fifth match, each of the wins being in the hands of osamu. "i told you that we could adjust the difficulties-"

"no"

atsumu immediately replied, dedicated to winning at least one game against his brother. osamu shrugged before directing his own focus onto the game, a smile making it's way to his lips when once again, victory was on his side.

"fuck you" atsumu groaned, the screen displaying his lost for the fifth time. "it's not my fault you're shitty at this game". atsumu only rolled his eyes before standing up and walking over to the rooms exit.

"where are you going?"

"to check on y/n, dipshit"

osamu noticed the sour tone of his twin, making him sigh. if he knew his brother well enough, this attitude of his will probably last for the rest of the day unless some kind of miracle would happen to direct his attention to something else completely.

seems like luck was really on osamu's side today

"oh my gosh"

"what? speak quieter or else you'll wake up y/n" osamu only grew even more confused when his brother placed his palm over his lips, stopping him from speaking. the door was slightly open and as expected, y/n was asleep.

they'd walk away and return to their game if it wasn't for the fact that small moans and heavy breaths quietly passed by y/n's lips. there was a slightly noticeable expression of discomfort on her features causing atsumu to call y/n's name.

"just let her sleep" osamu said deciding against his twins idea. atsumu groaned slightly, turning around to leave y/n be but he stopped walking when he heard a moan of his own name.

osamu's lips parted in surprise and his eyes only widened when he too heard his own name. this time, osamu walked passed the blonde and into the room, carefully kneeling down to try and wake her sleeping figure.

"y/n"

slightly pulling the cover's from off of her shoulder, osamu noticed her shiver at the sudden temperature change. he heard the footsteps of atsumu get closer behind him before cupping y/n's cheek to tap her temple with his index finger.

"y/n" atsumu called this time. her eyes opened, adjusting to the slightly illuminated room. y/n scanned the dangerously close face of osamu before looking behind the grey haired figure, seeing the identical features of his twin.

fragments of her dream flashed behind her eyes before she mumbled a small swear and pulled the blanket over her head, the embarrassment quickly becoming her reality.

"y/n, are you going to tell us what you've been dreamin about?" osamu asked. "nothing" her voice came out as muffle due to the restricting fabric that she kept securely over her face to avoid any sort of eye contact.

atsumu walked up the the bed, deciding to sit on the edge. "really? you talk in your sleep, you know that, right?" atsumu placed a hand on y/n's thigh which was imprinted through the blanket. osamu sighed and reached for the fabric of y/n's cover, slightly tugging it out of her loosening grip, to reveal her face.

"where did you last leave off in your dream?"

atsumu's hand began to pull the blanket from y/n's body, the cold temperature of the room hitting her warm skin due to the fact that she was currently in her undergarments. "i'm not telling you" she mumbled, trying not to focus too much on atsumus contact. "that's fine, you don't have to use your words for me to understand what you need".

y/n sat up, leaning her back against the headboard before seeing osamu stand up. "y/ n, are you okay with this?" the grey haired twin asked, leaning down to y/n, placing a kiss to her forehead. she nodded and her eyes flickered between the reflecting ones of the twins.

osamu shared a look with his twin, rolling his eyes at the blondes small smile. "go easy on her" he mumbled, propping his knee onto the surface of the bed. either of his hands palmed the empty spaces by y/ns hips before leaning down to her lips.

y/n looked up at his hovering figure before allowing their lips to meet while atsumu admired y/n's exposed frame. osamu's hand met with the side of y/n's neck, thumb caressing her jaw as their lips moved in rhythm.

y/n could only moan into their kiss when atsumu leaned down, closer to her abdomen to allow purple shaded markings to rise to the surface of her skin. "you're fine, y/n. relax" osamu mumbled, his kisses beginning to travel to her neck.

on the grey haired figure suddenly traveled to the blonde. he'd already began to remove her underwear with a finger, unbeknownst to the fact that there practically wasn't a need for prepping.

"how should i look at my best friend knowing that she's gets so soaked just by a dream?"

"it's not my fault" she groaned, managing to send a glare towards him. atsumu let a breathy laugh escape from his lips when y/n closed her eyes at the fact that hid index and middle finger grazed her bare sex.

she shuddered at his touch, reaching for osamu's wrist in an attempt to ground herself to reality. expecting him to allow her to use his wrist for just that, y/n's eyes widened when he instead guided her hand to palm his clothed erection.

osamu leaned up, admiring the sight before him and y/n let out small whines due to the fact that atsumu's touches were short lasting and repetitive. osamu noticed his twin's teasing, causing him to mumble a small call of his name. "tsumu"

a hum of acknowledgement was heard, as he completely and intentionally stopped his movements, extracting and whine from y/n. the blonde purposely rested his elbow on y/ n stomach, propping his chin onto his palm, extracting a quiet whine from y/n due to the slightly heavy pressure.

osamu looked down at her panting expression and pleading eyes before noticing how she tugged on the hem of his pants and briefs. "atsumu, you're fucking annoying" she groaned, noticing how he 'absentmindedly' directed his attention to his brother.

"what's the matter now?"

"you know 'what's the matter' already. stop being such a tease-" his word we cut of by a grunt when y/n almost and completely pulled down his restricting clothing far enough. the physical touch of her knuckles grazing him was enough to make him lose the patience that he had.

atsumu noticed his brothers sudden change in emotion, before slightly smirking to himself. he went back to his teasing but this time, actually inserting his index and middle finger into y/n's sex and keeping a steady pace. he hummed in content when a sigh finally left y/n's lips.

osamu felt a bit of satisfaction due to the fact that y/n was receiving her desperately needed pleasure, causing him to finally allow y/n to completely pull the hem of his pants down, far enough to reveal his aroused erection.

y/n slightly parted her lips, to take in the length of osamu, making him gently cup her cheek. atsumu soon noticed this from the fact that a small moan left the lips of his brother. sitting up, the blonde released himself from his briefs before angling his hips with y/n.

he slid himself into her sex, the moan that she let out, vibrated against osamu's erection making him groan. atsumu kept his pace at an overwhelming speed, enjoying the way y/n's moans came out as mumbles due to her mouth being occupied by osamu.

"if you cum, i'll stop"

osamu pulled himself out of y/n's mouth after she squeezed his wrist a bit. "dont stop" she pleaded, eyes threatening to shut from the pleasure. "then don't cum" quicker. he only quickened his pace, making the situation even worse for y/n. she desperately tried to focus on anything else but the pleasure that she was receiving.

"you're doing such an amazing for us, y/n" osamu mumbled. "but, keep making me feel good, you do it so well" she nodded, letting another pant escape her lips before wrapping them around osamu once again. "aw, you're praising her for doing the bare minimum?"

"tsumu"

before he could answer his brother with a reply, y/n purposely clenched herself around him, causing the blonde's words to falter behind his lips. osamu began to rhythmically moving his hips, helping him reach his own peak at a faster pace.

his moans soon turned into deep whines and pants, as he reached forward a bit to rub circles against y/n's bud. she couldn't help but unknowingly clench around atsumu's erection before hearing his words. "remember what i said, y/n. i will stop"

"tsumu, i said go easy on her"

"seems like she's enjoying my way a bit more though" he smiled. osamu sighed before pulling himself out from y/n's mouth, the evidence of his arousal dripping from his length and onto y/n's chest. her grip around his wrist tightened as her peak also began to reach its high.

"if you can hold out for ten more seconds, i'll let you cum"

it almost felt like the longest ten seconds in her life. she could feel everything. osamu's arousal slowly dripping down her breast, atsumu's overwhelming paced strokes, and the ache that was felt in her jaw and thighs.

with the last three seconds of the blonde's countdown, y/n allowed her moans to escape pass her lips before her nails dug crescent shaped indents into osamu's wrist. accompanied by a quiet stream of swears, y/ n finally reached her peak, legs threatening to meet around atsumu's hips.

osamu only continued rubbing circles against y/n's bud, helping her through her high while atsumu held out a little longer to reach his own peak. after noticing her now shaky and unsteady legs, osamu retreated his hand before leaning closer to y/n, placing a kiss to her lips.

"did you even try to not cum like i said?"

"i held out, didn't i? fuck off." she mumbled, attempting to steady her breaths. atsumu soon pulled out of y/n, a smile quickly appearing onto his lip when she groaned at the sudden action. he jerked himself into his fist, his arousal leaking from his erection and onto y/n's abdomen before sighing in relief.

"I'd say that was a pretty fun dream"

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chucksfavouriteprophet · 2 years ago

Text

Heal - V

Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader (female)

MASTERLIST

🪡 Summary: You and Bucky can no longer ignore what has happened, and the truth must emerge.

Warnings: Discussion of past sexual assault, nudity, angst, mostly fluff to wrap this series up

Word count: 1,388

🫁 Part IV

When you awoke the next morning, you were incredibly uncomfortable. Your head felt foggy, and you were tangled in sheets that wrapped around your naked body. You never usually slept naked, so the sight stopped you - but when you turned your head to see the sleeping form of you alpha beside you, it all came rushing back.

"B-Bucky..." you breathed out with a sigh of relief, your hand unconsciously going to touch your new mark, fresh yet painless already. He stirred slowly, rubbing his eyes, before scrambling from the bed and shoving himself up against the wall.

"Wha-what?" Confused further, you pulled the covers up to your chin, suddenly self conscious. Had you dreamt it all? Had your alpha never come to save you? Had you lured him here in his sleep?

With a gulp, Bucky surveyed your body, and was pleasantly surprised to see that you appeared to be in no pain and seemed much better than the previous evening.

"How, er, how are you feeling?" He ran a hand through his hair shakily.

"Better, thank you. Will you sit?" You gestured to the dent he had made in the mattress, and he hesitantly obeyed.

"I know that must have been hard for you," you started, not sure if he was ready to be touched yet but knowing you needed to get out what you needed to say before he could beat himself up further. "But you did what you had to. You saved me, and I know you didn't want to do what you did again, but it was the right thing."

He opened his mouth to protest, but you continued before he could. "And I'm sorry too, Bucky. I'm sorry after all the work you've put in, He still haunts you sometimes. And I'm sorry that you have to feel that pain that He initiates. And yes, I'm sorry that was how it had to happen, but I'm not sorry that it did happen.

You're my alpha, and I'm your omega. Let's be honest here, we've been denying that for a while. What happened was probably inevitable sooner or later. And what He made you do was horrific, and it's going to take me some time to get over that as well, but we will get over it if we stick together. Just...just please don't leave me again. That I don't think I can get over."

You were both crying now, wetting the sheets beneath you. Tentatively, you reached up and wiped a tear from his cheek, relieved when he closed his eyes and relaxed into you rather than shy away.

"Leaving you is the last thing I want to do, doll, but I can't risk hurting you again. Like you said, He is still in me, and I guess He ain't going anywhere any time soon. What kind of mate would I be if I can't even protect my omega from her own alpha?"

"A pretty shitty one, sure. But a mate who actively works to stop that from happening? I can't think of a better alpha."

"You shouldn't forgive me."

"I don't. I don't forgive you for leaving me, even though I understand why you did. And I don't forgive Him for driving you to do what you did, but I don't place that blame on you. But fuck forgiveness. This is bigger than forgiveness, this is bigger than me or you or Him. This is about us, and I think we can handle this. What you say?"

"I love you, doll. But I don't know what to do," he wept, and you pulled him into the crook of your shoulder, stroking his hair.

"Then I'll tell you what to do. We're going to Wakanda, tonight. We're going to tell Shuri what happened, and she's going to work with you to get Him out of your nightmares. This is nothing compared to when you still had the trigger words in you, so I don't question that this will be a walk in the park for her.

And this time, I'm going to be there too. I'm going to stick with you, through the good days and the bad, because I am not scared of Him, and I'm certainly not scared of you."

He pulled off, straightening himself up, his eyes suddenly afraid. "What if I don't wanna go back there? What if all those memories only make it worse, or what if she can't get him out of the nightmares...you said it, theres no trigger words now, maybe He's just in me and He's never going to go away. What if I can't go?"

You knew it would come to this, and you'd been preparing for it through the fever. The only thing that had got you through the lucid moments were thinking about your future with Bucky, coming up with a way to make it work for the two of you. You knew how much he would be beating himself up, but you couldn't ignore your own trauma either.

"Then we break this bond medically, and I leave. This is an ultimatum, Buck. Wakanda, or I walk."

His eyes grew wide again and he chewed on his lip. That was fair, after all. But it was scary. Petrifying, even.

"Okay. Tonight, we go."

You smiled up at him, planting a nervous kiss on his cheek. You couldn't deny that you were still hesitant with him sitting there, so conscious of what he could do. Yet at the same time, you just wanted to climb into his lap and crawl into his body, never letting go and refusing to ever part ways with him. One day you would allow that feeling to take precident, just not quite yet.

Bucky closed his eyes and let the dying sun soak his skin, feeling the wind tug at his outgrown hair and whistle in his ears. His flesh hand played with the soil beneath him, cold compared to the day's heat. In the distance, he could hear the hum of a song, one of the Wakandan mothers singing her children to sleep, while a goat stew, something he had become a master at cooking, was boiling away in the village below.

"You ready?"

The voice should have ruined the peacefulness up on the mountain, but instead it made him smirk unconsciously. He didn't flinch when your arm snaked around his neck, and his eyes remained closed. He even trust himself to move his metal arm to rest on your knee, rough and bruised from helping out on the farms over the months the two of you had been there.

"I'm ready, doll."

Like they usually did, your fingers went up to play with his knotted locks, longer than you'd seen them in a long time. "We don't have to leave, you know. You were right, it is incredibly peaceful here."

Bucky opened his eyes as he turned his head, making sure your glowing features were the first thing he saw.

"No, I'm ready. Our lives are back home. Plus, we have to test if all this worked, right?"

You sniggered with a shake of your head. "Oh Bucky, you know it worked. Shuri cleared you weeks ago."

"But we still have to complete the final test - going back to that room."

"True," you shrugged, nuzzling into him. "But between us, I'm pretty sure we've had enough therapy to beat anything."

Bucky kissed the top of your head, once again overcome with gratitude. He had been given yet another chance, right when he thought he deserved it the least. You had stood by him, and in turn he had stood by you. Although his nightmares were much less frequent and never so violent anymore, you still woke in the night in tears, and would never fail to break his heart. But it was true - you were stronger together, and that bond was healing in many ways.

The sound of a horn below jolted the two of you from your thoughts, and he scrambled up, holding out a hand. "C'mon, omega, lets get home."

Taking it graciously and purposely using his metal arm to wrap around your waist, you set off down the hill, kicking dust up into the sunset as you made your way to the jet waiting to take you to the rest of your lives.

The End

Bucky Taglist

@elliebee01 @littlemiss-yeehaw @lolitsthings @missvelvetsstuff @spnexploration @justlovelifeblog @1-800-call-a-milf @raajali3 @broadwaybabe18 @vicmc624 @gostodosopa @kjah97 @sageandravens @kaz11283 @bucksdonkey @alright-i-guess @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @icequeen1371 @deandreamernp @almosttoopizza @maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals @lexikizerbarnes @lazycarolinamoment @lydklein1 @cjand10 @needyomega @tesseract69

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #alpha!bucky x omega!reader #bucky x female reader #alpha!bucky #omega!reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #alpha bucky barnes #bucky barnes series #alpha!bucky x reader #alpha!bucky series #alpha!bucky barnes

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yinwaryuri · 2 years ago

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Just a non-comprehensive list of all the things P'Jojo touched on throughout the entirety of The Warp Effect:

The harm of forcing teens to promise absolute abstinence from sex while not providing space for safe and open discussions about it

Some people have a strong sense of their sexuality/gender identity. Others don't

Even guys who seem like good ones can do horrible things and be unaware. They are not required to be forgiven no matter how guilty they feel

Being single by choice is not shameful

Fwb is not shameful either

No one has any right to expect more out of a relationship when you have communicated what you are up for up front

Female friendship is a beautiful, wonderful thing, why would we pit so many bad bitches against each other when they're cooler as friends?

Nonsexual kinks are valid and with the right person can make for a beautiful relationship

There are several methods for pregnancy and it's important to discuss things with your donor (if you've chosen one personally)

Listen to your partner! It is actually possible to be together for a decade and still be unaware of something they like/dislike!

You can be forgiven for being shitty in high school but that is not up to you, it's only up to the person you have wronged

Always know the age of whoever you're talking to so you don't accidentally sleep with a minor

Fatphobia and transphobia have never been cool

Trauma hurts and the journey to work through it is difficult. It's not wrong to want to reconcile with someone and find that you can't. It's not wrong to try to push past it numerous times. It is not your fault someone ruined what should be a good experience for you

Nonsexual intimacy is valid and the right partner will work with you to understand your needs

The choice to have children is a really big one and no it should not be an excuse to keep the relationship together. The choice not to doesn't always have to break it up either

Abortion is a personal matter and should be done safely and legally

STDs have all sorts of origins and are an important matter to address in terms of being polyamorous or even going from one partner to the next. They are also not a reason to feel shame and are simply a matter of getting proper treatment and abstaining from sex while healing. Straight couples can get them, it isn't just a gay stereotype

Anyone can have a romantic relationship and not have sex

Parenting from afar isn't being responsible, but it is still possible to create a relationship with your estranged child

Dick size is nothing to be concerned about - you can find someone who enjoys a sexual relationship with you no matter what

It is so important to see your doctor. If that doctor makes you uncomfortable, though, you should be fine to leave and go somewhere else

Gay does not mean pedophile and it's important for you and your children to know the difference because there are gay teachers and coaches who have enough on their shoulders

Cheating doesn't have to include anything physical if you're seeking pleasure from someone who is not your partner and have not discussed such things with your partner or the person you cheat with

Sex work should not be criminalized and more of us need to standing up for the rights of sex workers

Masturbation is normal and doesn't have to be treated as sad or pathetic

Cishet people can be amazing allies. You can have your group of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and trans people with a bunch of them included and it can be a fabulous group

Casting agents that don't allow for body and gender diversity don't deserve their job

The show gave us a whole PSA on pelvic exams????? HELP??????

ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX NO MATTER WHAT YOUR AGE, ORIENTATION, OR IDENTITY IS - ALWAYS HAVE A PROPER DISCUSSION AND STICK TO WHAT EVERYONE CONSENTS TO. ALWAYS

I swear I'm still missing stuff but everything that The Warp Effect said is so special to me

#the warp effect #thai shows #gmmtv #p'jojo

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aishabellasbigblogofeverything · 5 months ago

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My post about hating the Barbie movie and how it actually spat in the face of feminism and all that the franchise stands for is done and dusted, I'm afraid, but that being said there are still some points I left out of it that I would like to address, and I will do so here:

The movie portraying women as hopeless endless victims who have no hopes of succeeding or getting what they want out of life is bad enough, but there's a brief blink-and-you'll-miss it scene where Barbie is taking Gloria and Sasha back to Barbieland, and as they're on the spaceship, she says to them that women control everything and have all social and political power, which is fine...but THEN she goes "basically everything men do in your world, women do in ours" and that...that line just makes me so appalled and angry I could SPIT. Like you're really spelling out that you think women in the real world have no power or control in any aspect of society? I understand that it's supposed to be "commentary"(it's not good commentary tho) and that the real world IS a patriarchy, but we HAVE women in power in our world too! We HAVE female Supreme Court Justices! We HAVE women in high office! We HAVE female mayors and CEOs! We HAVE women in positions of power and leadership, period! And yet Barbie creates this illusion that women in our world such as Sasha and Gloria would have NO knowledge of or point of reference for women in power who do any important shit at all; it's completely fucking absurd. But then again, this movie was written and directed by a white feminist. A white feminist, who, like all white feminists, has a complete miserable victimhood/defeatist complex. So of course she projects it onto her female characters(even female characters of color, who are ofc SUPPOSED to be more sad and let-down than SHE is!), like the sad, pathetic fuck she is. And y'all wonder why I hate persecution flips so much. We need to shove that bullshit trope six feet under. If you want to tell a story about the patriarchy, then FUCK, WRITE ABOUT THE ACTUAL GODDAMN PATRIARCHY!!! Don't just do this nonsense "uwu what if men were the oppressed ones and women were the privileged--" no. Stop. Cut it the fuck out. This is getting ridiculous.

This part is probably incidental but fuck that, I'm still gonna knock it. Sasha and Gloria never actually get to experience the matriarchal utopia, and I just find that so depressing. Despite the bleak and frankly miserable lives that they lead, they never get to experience the escapist freedom of living in a society in which they are in charge, where womanhood isn't looked down upon and is in fact honored, where they have power and aren't in danger of being stalked, followed, or killed by men just for walking down the street. They leave their patriarchal world, hoping to see a world that is better, and instead enter a world that is just as bad and equally as patriarchal as the one they tried to escape from. It's truly depressing, especially for Gloria who specifically wanted to get away from her anxieties with real life and just have fun with her daughter for a bit. Instead she has to be confronted with ANOTHER patriarchy, watch the childhood doll she loved and played with have a panic attack and give up on life just like she did, and then give her infamous, cliche, and paint by numbers "being a woman is suffering" corny as hell speech. Before reinventing the matriarchy and getting her power back only by leaning in to patriarchal stereotypes about women's bodies and sexualities. And then leaving back for her regular patriarchy world without getting to experience any of it. It's almost like the movie was literally saying that women will never be able to free themselves from patriarchy and that a better world than this one does not exist. Patriarchy is insurmountable and all-prevailing, says this movie. It's truly tragic.

And honestly, with regards to that shitty ass clusterfuck of a speech, isn't it like, so totes ironic, that part of Gloria's speech is her complaining that women have to apologize for men's bad behavior...only for the "happy" ending of the movie to involve BARBIE HAVING TO APOLOGIZE FOR KEN'S BAD BEHAVIOR?!?!!??!?! Like no one fact-checked that shit and went "wait, something ain't right"? Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!?!?! I hate that scene with every fiber of my being and realizing this makes me hate it even more now. Just, ugh.

Tldr: Fuck this movie, but then again, I've said that shit like...several times before. lol.

#barbie #barbie 2023 #anti barbie movie

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moodymisty · 10 months ago

Note

Hi! May I request something comforting with Strife and a female reader? Work is exhausthing (a new hr system was implemented, it's not going well😑 - the project team could not delay the go live, so we now have less features and a nonexistent or randomly working interface). I'm done with everything... Hope your days are going much better!!

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: I understand the feeling, anon. Here's some cuddly Strife, I hope that makes you feel a bit better.

Relationships: Strife/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Just some early morning cuddles, I thought that would be the most comforting thing to enjoy a nice sleep after a shitty day :3

Word Count: 586

To wake up in one piece after confronting the literal Apocalypse is...

Something.

You don't know if you'll ever get used to it. People are just walking around and trying to go about pretending as if it never happened, to start back up where they left off, but humanity still has a permanent mental- and in many ways physical- scar that won't ever go away. Not many can say they don't flinch at shadows or loud sounds, or when the sky gets grey about to rain.

To go from that unknown terror to trying to sleep at night and go to work the next day for many has been, an adjustment. Especially with Humanity's new neighbors. At least the new friends were some of the better thing to come out of the End of Days.

The Makers have been more than incredibly helpful in rebuilding, but even then progress has been s-

"Why's it so Creator damned bright all the sudden?"

You were woken up by Strife's body shifting as he roused from sleep, his face buried in the nook of your neck. His right arm lays over your stomach, while the other is tucked somewhere under the pillows. You'd say his legs are tangled with yours, though given the size difference it's more like his are weighing yours down underneath the blankets.

He loves to hold you almost like some sort of stuffed animal. It's endearing, until you need to move anywhere.

"That's because the sun is rising, Strife."

The Nephilim lets out a groan as his face presses deeper into your neck, attempting to block out the morning sun. It's the crack of dawn, and you have no business being up this early. Nor do you want to be, as you close your eyes and attempt sink into the mattress and fall back asleep.

It seem Strife doesn't have any plans to let you do that however, as you feel him wiggle yet again. His warm breath fans over your skin as he attempts to fall back asleep same as you. His weight that pushes the limit of the bed frame's max limit makes it shift enough to jostle you, and wrench a groan from you.

To think he'd go from being so hesitant to get close his eyes around you to this. It's been interesting, seeing him finally let his guard down.

He loves the 'cool guy' facade, the rootin' tootin' gunslingin' Nephilim, but in reality his walls are nearly has high as Death's. He's just better at not showing them to anyone.

But now he has the security, that you aren't going anywhere and that nothing bad is going to happen. That he finally has you with him. And because of it, the Nephilim conks out like a light the moment he decides to sleep next to you.

Not this time however; As he moves his leg that dangles part way off the bed around and wakes up once again from the in-between space between awake and asleep. You weakly smack his arm.

"Strife, quit moving."

He finally raises his head and looks at you, glaring with his messy, sleepy face. You can't help but compare him to a beloved pet that you wake up from the middle of a deep sleep, frazzled and face scrunched. You can just barely make out a pile of armor and weaponry in the corner of the room behind him, where he'd dumped it the night before.

"Then fix the light issue, Princess." You look up at him, barely able to make out his shapes through the blur of sleep. You fill your cheeks with air to blow a raspberry at him, but he just uses his hand to force the air out with a pinch of your cheeks. It frustrates you, which is always his goal.

"I can't make the sun just go a-"

Suddenly Strife grabs a handful of the blanket and pulls it overtop of both of your heads, covering you completely. And now back in near total darkness apart from the tiniest bit of light bleeding from the top most part of the blanket, Strife resumes his trapping of your body in his limbs, his nose pressing against your cheek. You feel his lips against your skin as he talks.

"There, solved."

It's so warm underneath the blanket, despite the frigid cold weather outside.

But it's not as if you have anywhere you need to go anytime soon. And if you do, it clearly wasn't important enough for you to remember. After terrible your week has been as of yet, you'll gladly forget about all of that for awhile.

Strife clearly smiles against your skin as you sigh and grasp the part of his arm you can reach, wiggling to get comfortable and falling back asleep as the sun continues to rise.

#darksiders x reader #darksiders strife x reader #Strife/Reader #strife x reader #darksiders strife x you #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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velvetvexations · 4 months ago

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I think we need to like place the term socialization on a high shelf until people will learn what it means properly. Like it's just a term to indicate social messages and influences people receive due to traits and perceptions about them and where and how they grow up. There is no one "male socialization" and socialization isn't even something that Is it's something that one Experiences. Like I wouldn't say that I was "socialized female" unless I had to really really dumb down a concept (especially cause due to being fat, possibly noticably queer, having parents very different from my peers, and most importantly to my own interpretation of my life, a "Weird Kid" growing up, I experienced a set of social forces very different from most of my peers, even those who shared my gender-as-assumed-by-adults. Almost as if the concept of socialization is very complex and intersectional 🤔) but I would say I was influenced growing up by the assumption by those around me that because of my body I Should act a certain, gendered way, which has influenced me, but also in some ways that are contradictory to expectations of some mythical "female socialization" that only exists on the broadest scale imaginable.

Socialization is incredibly intersectional and context dependant and is a process that people experience rather than a determined set of traits about a person. A trans woman might have experienced a so called "male socialization" in that people assumed she was a boy and pressured her to act a certain way and develop certain perspectives, but it's just that: a pressure; It has no guaranteed influence on her in any way. Most discourse (terfs misusing sociological terms to be transphobic, and then people attempting to push back against that while still misguidedly arguing within that exact same framework (often ending up transradfemmy(eg. Trans women were socialized female cause every single young trans girl knew things about women were about them and the opposite is true for trans men(disregard nonbinary people entirely) and all trans women are the same in this)) flattens the idea of socialization into this binary all consuming force that affects every person of x identity the exact same and has no nuance ever and everyone will act as if you're attempting to set them on fire for daring to say that there's nuance to the concept and people can have their own interpretations about their experiences with gendered society

I've seen trans women say they feel they experienced male socialization and those that don't feel that. I've seen trans women talk about how their experiences were shaped by attempts to force them into Proper Gender Based On Body Parts (that all people, cis or trans, experience) directly conflicted with their internal sense of self which impacted how they view themselves and their genders. I'm not going to argue with them about their own experiences of gender and society!? Its shitty to act as if it's a net good to try and force people's lived experiences into the box of Correct Theory just to make a point.

Tldr: it bugs me when people use socialization in the most ass backwards ways to try and prove a point when they clearly don't understand what the term is meant to convey: it's a set of social forces that individuals experience on an individual scale. Not a one size defines a person's entire personality prescriptive label that is unchanging throughout life. People just hate nuance

Socialization is always diagnosed in others rather than based in self-reporting about one's experiences. If someone says "I was pressured to be my assigned gender and that affected me in this way" that's obviously a normal trans experience, but socialization as a term exists to explain the way people are, to take a pattern of behavior and say "this is why that person behaves that way". There's no great way to spin that.

#general trans discourse

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leafyaa · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 5.

"W-what..?" You mutter in disbelief.

"You know you're pretty lucky, having such a wealthy husband as well as him being the son of the president of Inazuma~" The other waitress giggles.

"Sorry, but he's not my husband- I'm- I'm leaving thank you for your service.." You say and hurriedly make your way downstairs to the private entrance. Not looking carefully enough to see you were running into a person that also was in a hurry.

"Fucking idiots can't do their fucking job right." A familiar voice mutters in irritation, most likely towards you.

"Sorry sir, I- I was just in a hurry." You apologize and quickly get up to leave. But before you can open the door someone grabs your wrist firmly to pull you back.

"Wait Y/n?" You turn around instantly and watch as a familiar person stares in shock at you.

"Kunikuzushi..." You mutter and look down, avoiding his gaze.

"Y/n I'm so sorry I-"

"Just let go of me. You don't deserve my fucking time." You say, trying your hardest to sound angry because you are. But being angry is just something you were never.

"Please let me explain!" Kunikuzushi begs but you shake him off. He lets go of your wrist and looks in pain.

"Goodbye Kunikuzushi." You push open the door and walk out the restaurant.

You quickly put on your shoes and start walking away.

But you hear someone running behind you.

"Y/n! Please hear me out!" Kunikuzushi who ran after you is now walking alongside you trying to talk through your stubbornness.

"Shut the fuck up Kunikuzushi." You glare at him and continue to walk to the bus stop.

"Please Y/n.." Kunikuzushi clings onto you, looking desperate.

"No. What do you not understand about no?? Are you fucking stupid?" You yell, harshly shaking him off of you.

"You sound so fucking pathetic right now. Fucking desperate trying to get me back while in the mean time you've probably ruined the lives of so many people. Just- just stop already!"

Oh how you want to hit him so badly with your purse just because he is pissing you off. But you decide not to.

"This is the last time I'm saying it, Kunikuzushi. Stay the fuck away from me." You turn around and continue to walk, leaving him alone on the ground.

Your heart is throbbing from the painful encounter and you just feel so tired.

Luckily for you a bus just arrived so you step in. You lean on the window, feeling exhausted.

You kinda feel sad that this is the way you meet Kunikuzushi after a long time.

Firstly he somehow got into your house, left his number and made you think he was Gorou (which also led to falsely accusing Gorou).

Secondly he left you waiting for half an hour, already making your appetite go away.

And lastly made the whole Uyuu staff think you were his wife??

Tears start to fall down your cheek. You just feel so frustrated after the whole ordeal. You just want to sleep, you don't even care about the fact you didn't eat dinner.

After 30 minutes you finally reach your destination and step out of the bus. You already stopped crying and were now walking home.

Very slowly, almost like you have no energy left.

Your day was officially ruined and you just didn't feel like even continuing onwards with living if you were being honest.

"Oh shit, wait I need to call Gorou back." You say and stop in your tracks, pulling out your phone from your purse and calling the correct Gorou.

But before you could talk to him you hear footsteps and before you can turn around you feel a needle in your arm.

You drop your phone as well as dropping to the ground.

Your last memory is the blurry vision of people dressed in purple and having green hair.

"Sleep shitty, you slut." Two females giggle as they drag your limp body over the pavement. Feeling anything but remorse as they create all cuts over your body.

The moon was up but covered by dark clouds. Only the lampposts were illuminating the dark streets.

No CCTVs captured their wrongdoings because well why would a small village like this one have any crime? Everyone knew each other.

"You know, it would've been more fun if we could torture her..." One of the two females says with a sigh, imagining all kinds of violent things in her head.

"True.. Though the doctor told us to bring her unharmed and blablabla. You know if it was Signora we would've been allowed to torture this little slut." The other female shrugged.

"But what if the injuries aren't our fault?"

The two look at each other and smirk.

"Let's do a little beating~"

They drop your unconscious body on the ground and pull out their extendable baton stick.

It was an expensive one decorated with snowflakes that faded to the bottom. And with a logo of the Fatui.

But before the two could beat Y/n someone sprinted towards them with a knife and slit their throats. Making them collapse on the ground.

"Tell me who the fuck send you." A male threatens as he draws his knife closer to their necks.

"W-we can't tell you!" One of them says, gagging on blood.

The male slit her throat further and her hit collapsed on the ground.

"Now you insect, tell me who the fuck decided you have to attack her." The male grins as he holds his knife closer towards the other woman's throat.

"I-if I tell you- will you l-let me go?"

"Sure if you tell me the truth." The male decided to play along, giving her false hope.

"It- it was the doctor-! I swear I-I'm telling the truth! P-please let m-me go!" But before she could hear his response he already slit her throat, leaving her dead on the ground with her acquaintance.

The male grabs their weapons, shrinking it back to their small sizes and tucking it away in his pocket.

He then bends over to carefully grab you from the ground and carry her in his arms.

He is enraged for having this happen to you and for his former co-workers to be targeting you because you are connected to him.

"I apologize once again Y/n.."

A day later you wake up to the sound of beeping.

Beep.

Your hair is a mess and your body is in pain.

Your limbs feel weak and you feel tired.

You open your eyes and are met with a

White ceiling, yet look to the side to see a blurry dark night.

The blinds are rolled down but you can still see through them as the curtains aren't closed.

You hear the sound of people walking, but not close to you. Just from a distance.

Why do you feel pain is what you wonder? What even happened before?

You push the covers away and start moving around the bed.

Noticing a tube that was connected onto your arm, you shriek and quickly remove it off of you, feeling terrified.

You quickly get out of bed but stumble onto the ground, making a bunch of noise because there was another tube connected to your other arm that also was connected to the machine.

People come rushing in as you lay on the ground face flat. You hear the sound of people screaming and panicking, but one particular voice stands out.

"What the fuck are you idiots panicking, help her get on the bed!" A voice you instantly recognize as Kunikuzushi.

You slightly move your head and see that he squats down to tilt you up like a kitten.

"Y/n please don't fight back for once.. They're going to help you get better, okay?" He says with a gentle tone as he puts you down on the bed again.

"What... Happened?" You mutter in exhaustion.

"Just rest for now, I'll explain later, alright?" Kunikuzushi smiles as he reconnects the tubes and pulls the covers over you.

Gently caressing your cheek as tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Don't worry, I'll be here to protect you."

⇠ previous ⭒ masterlist ⭒next ⇢

Notes:

Hmm mm why would the doctor send his subordinates after you? Is it because he has taken interest in you?

Summary:

You've dated Scaramouche in your high school and college years but just as you wanted to announce your pregnancy to him he broke up with you without any reason. He left you to be a single mom for 7 years. But now that your daughter has been missing and abducted for a year and you've not been doing well and out of a sudden he showed up into your life again trying to apologize for his past mistakes..?

Taglist:

@swivy123 @kichiyoshi @wwwrizchan @k1t0 @killumeo @pinkdreamerbailifflawyer-blog @samarill @xiaotopia @aqualesha @eattingshits @omoriaddict @mave-in @sketcheeee @xiaossocksniffer @elernity @ohmyfinggod @izukusshuu @divinechicha @arrowximpack @kariuu @scaramochies

#genshin #genshin au #genshin impact #genshin impact au #genshin impact x reader #genshin smau #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #kunikuzushi x reader #modern au #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche angst #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact modern au

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communistkenobi · 1 year ago

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I'm not gonna lie Nick, I've been following you for a long time and I almost always agree with what you say so this isn't in any way meant to be polemic or hostile and you don't have to answer if you don't want to. But, as a trans person myself, I don't understand how genital preference can be transphobic? I mean, the way people declare it can be transphobic, or the reason for it - but preference itself? isn't it, for most people at least, an intrinsic thing? Again I'm not asking this to bait you into discourse or anything I just. Genuinely trust your judgment on things. that's all, love <3

If you don’t want to sleep with someone because they’re, for example, fat, or disabled, or intersex, or have some other physical characteristic that would alter a sexual encounter in a way you wouldn’t expect with a “default” or “normal” body - is that not on some level bigoted? If you tried to sleep with a cis guy but found out he had a micro penis and decided against sleeping with him, or you tried to hook up with a cis woman with large labia and got turned off, is that “just an intrinsic preference”?

Yes people have preferences and preferences do not carry inherent moral judgement. But it’s worth asking: where do my preferences come from? if you meet a trans person, and you are attracted to them, and the only reason you don’t want to sleep with them is because you don’t want to interact with their genitals, because you believe a trans person’s genitals are universally unattractive, then like, why lol? “Transphobic” is a flat descriptor for bigoted beliefs or assumptions about trans people, and in the pantheon of transphobic things to believe or say or do, that’s not like super high on the list. I don’t think you’re an irredeemably bad person or whatever. You are also not doing activism by having sex with people you’re not attracted to or don’t want to have sex with, I’m not suggesting anyone do that because that would be bad for everyone involved. But attraction is socially mediated and explored - fetishes, kinks, turn-ons and turn offs can have embedded social values in them, some of them good and some of them not - and if your only hang-up with fucking a trans person is because they have “incorrect” or “incongruous” genitals to what you normally expect, then I think that’s a shitty hang-up to have. Is it “intrinsic” to find a trans person’s body a turn off? Are we intrinsically programmed as human beings to find transgender people’s genitals unsexy? I think any appeals to intrinsic nature quickly get into essentialistic territory, because whatever is intrinsic or “human nature” is necessarily outside of the social, incapable of change, and I don’t think it does any good to insist that the domain of sexual preferences exists outside of the social and political realms.

Yes sex will be different with a trans person who hasn’t had full bottom surgery than it would be with a cis person, and yes you will need to have conversations about what feels good or look shit up online (which you would do with a cis partner anyway!), but unless you’re solely interested in like, missionary reproductive PIV cishet sex catholic style for the rest of your life, I think it’s worth interrogating why trans genitals are a hard no for someone, especially when “genital preference” is such a handy shorthand for cis people to articulate their deep seated rage, disgust, and fear of trans people in a “polite” or inoffensive way - and, often, in a violent way, and that violence is rationalised on the basis of the “common sense” belief that trans people trick cis people into having sex with us despite our “bad” genitals.

I don’t want to have sex with anybody who thinks my body is disgusting and I’m assuming most people don’t want that either lol. But a lot of cis people find my body disgusting because it’s a trans body, and a huge part of that disgust is because I don’t have a dick - worse, I have a “mutilated” “grotesque” version of “female anatomy” because of T. None of those evaluations of a tran’s guys genitals are intrinsic, nor do they exist outside of social values about what “normal” or “beautiful” bodies look like.

And again to use the fat example, it took a lot of personal work for me to properly admire fat people because of how ingrained fatphobia is, and part of that fatphobia was directed towards myself - it took years for me to find myself even remotely attractive, especially as I progressively gained weight into adulthood. And that is not for “activist” reasons, it’s not activism to find fat people hot - but I am consciously working through some of the shit society tells you is gross or bad about human bodies and it’s made my life better lol, and as a consequence I can fully allow myself to admire other fat people. I think any state of mind that allows you to find beauty in more places, find pleasure in a wider range of human forms, is generally a good thing. I once dated a guy who hated his nipples being touched because he thought it was gay to enjoy that, and like, sex with him sucked lmfao. he was incredibly homophobic and that homophobia directly impacted the amount of pleasure he was willing to engage with, both with himself and with a partner.

So yes I do think it’s transphobic. It’s not end-of-the-world transphobia, you’re not a permanently shit human being, but anyone who refuses to have sex with trans people on the basis of us having the “wrong” genitals is not worth pursuing because we deserve to sleep with people who find us hot and don’t need to “rationalise” away touching our genitals. I don’t want to have sex with those people and no trans person should either. But I’m not giving cis people an out with “oh it’s just a preference” because I think that’s a very lazy and unserious way of engaging with your own desires

#asks #transphobia tw #ableism tw #fatphobia tw #intersexism tw #just tagging all that to be safe #also lmk if you need this tagged with anything else #not mad at you btw I’m cool with answering this #even old new york was once new amsterdam

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ca-suffit · 4 months ago

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what are your thoughts on lestat/gabrielle bc parent-child incest is always abuse yet sometimes it feels like fans treat that r/s and akashastat as jokes, maybe bc they can’t recognise female abusers or bc they don’t understand abusers (i.e. lestat) can be and often are victims of abuse themselves.

I already know this is gonna be a rly long reply bcuz there's a lot to talk about to answer this.

gonna put it under a cut for what the topics are. don't click if u don't want to read about incest and abuse obviously.

first, as I've said in other asks here and there, fandom does have a lot of problems with criticizing at least white women in fiction bcuz it's too much of a mirror held up to what fandom spaces are usually made up of to begin with. this is also why darker topics become jokes. it's all a way to create distance for engagement, whether the distance is not to look at urself or maybe ur own trauma (it's usually both here). I've seen a lot of this in the book side of the fandom over the years. it's also why lots of stuff is focused on surface level words ("it's gothic fiction," "they're all monsters") instead of any in depth exploration.

secondly, not to sound like a shitty book person, but incest *is* a major part of gothic fiction. the intention *is* to be repulsive, horrifying, and taboo. ppl should obviously take care to avoid topics that u find overwhelming and might harm ur mental health, but otherwise this *is* part of the genre.

lestat and gabrielle also....don't rly get that much into it tbh. the fandom makes it sound like more than it is. idk if the show is gonna make it more but I doubt it. although there was a dig about it in the trial script that I never saw anyone mention btw

"if u want to kill ur lover, or fuck ur mother, it'll have to wait."

I personally find the shifting power dynamics between human life and vampire life to be rly interesting. I don't think it's something the books explored enough tbh. bcuz lestat and gabrielle are the only vampires who came from being a human parent and child to the child then becoming the vampire parent to his own fledgling vampire mother.

it's clear in their human life that their parent / child boundaries are fucked and tbh that's the worst part for me. especially bcuz the fandom doesn't want to explore that bcuz ppl don't like to criticize gabrielle, as mentioned above. her life is awful so ppl give her a pass a lot. but she starts off as the human parent and she's a p bad parent in a lot of ways tbh (cuz she never wanted to be one).

anyway. I always saw the vampiric era incest as a metaphor for their broken relationship otherwise. like I said before, the fandom makes it sound worse than what even happens too. they never fuck each other. at most they kiss and think or say things that are inappropriate about each other's bodies and their feelings towards it, but modern day stories have had a lot more brutal depictions of incestual relationships between mothers and sons tbh. not saying that to downplay it or say "get over it" or w/e but just to touch on that, cuz it does get weirdly annoying here about it sometimes. ppl act tough about their love of "gothic fiction" all day for other topics in the books that are rly more graphic than this, then act like this is the one thing that goes too far? It's fucking weird, although I have theories about why that happens too.

back to the point tho. they're kind of a "failure" mother and son in life, so that's how I tend to read why this happens in the first place. lestat wants a mother and gabrielle wants to be a man (she directly tells him at a point "u are the man in me").

this is from TVL, before he leaves for paris (when they're both still human)

"I tried to take her in my arms. She stiffened at first but then I felt her weaken and she melted against me, and she gave herself over so completely to me in that moment that I think I understood why she had always been so restrained. She cried, which I'd never heard her do. And I loved this moment for all its pain. I was ashamed of loving it, but I wouldn't let her go. I held her tightly, and maybe kissed her for all the times she'd never let me do it. We seemed for the moment like two parts of the same thing."

after he makes her a vampire, they're kissing each other a lot in that first night. lestat saved his mother from dying and created his first vampire, which he wasn't sure he could do, and she isn't sick anymore and has more freedom than she knows what to do with. she's no longer his human "mother" either. he mentions a lot in these moments that there's no hesitance when they kiss each other like there was before. bcuz they're both happier in their individual issues and this is how they can express that as vampires now. he feeds her blood from his mouth later on in their first night and it comes across like more of a nurturing action than something weird and sexual.

so there's obviously incestual themes present but, to me anyway, this always felt a lot more sad than anything. like they don't know how else to meet each other's needs so they do this as vampires to act out a type of intimacy that otherwise they don't rly have still?

but ya. lestat did not become who he is from nothing. both his parents were abusive in different ways and akasha abuses him too. he constantly has vampirism forced on him against his will and tries his best to ignore how it makes him feel, especially about his own body. he has a lot of trauma attached to how he looks too and it's a whole thing. gabrielle and magnus tap into that in ways too.

fandoms don't rly like to look at cycles of abuse bcuz it's easier to say someone is just "bad" than to feel like maybe ur a bad person too if u sympathize with them. that's why ppl here are working hard to usually make any of these characters either the abused or abuser, depending on which side they relate to the most. it's almost always a combination of both in everyone tho.

#asks #vampire chronicles #lestat de lioncourt #gabrielle de lioncourt #akasha #abuse #interview with the vampire #amc interview with the vampire #I could not prevent it

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pretendingtoknowhowtowrite · 2 years ago

Text

TITLE: This is real, trust me

Summary: You had a shitty week, anxiety and fatigue are devouring you and you try to forget everything searching for something to drink. While doing so, you find Dean on the same situation. Everything seems fine but you suddenly faint and Dean takes care of your stupid ass.

Tags: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader - smut - 18+ - oral receiving (female and male) - penetrative s3x - fingering - DomDean.

Word Counts: 2,9 K

English isn't my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes

Author's notes: the reader is a crybaby here so...yeah, that's it. Feedback is much appreciated as always!

What a shitty day. You didn't sleep much and were on the verge of tears since you woke up. You and the boys were hunting non-stop for weeks, not a moment to relax or a second to think.

It was 3 a.m., and you were staring at the ceiling of that motel room; the fatigue of those days hit you, and tears started rolling down your cheeks. <<Oh, fuck it>> you said out loud and got up from bed. You decided to go down to take a drink from the vending machine, hoping you would fall asleep faster with some alcohol in you. Your eyes were red and swollen, your lips and cheeks red because of your crying. You tied up your hair, put your jacket and slippers on, and went down, wearing shorts and a tank top.

A cold breeze hit your face as soon as you opened the door, and a shiver reached your spine. You saw the light of the vending machine and went down. Unfortunately, the only alcoholic thing was a beer, so that was your best option for the night. You were inserting the coins in the vending machine when you heard a well-known voice <<Having trouble sleeping, Y/N?>>. It was Dean's, and he was sitting on the bench next to the vending machine with a beer in his hand. <<Yup>> you replied and bent down to take your beer. <<Be careful with that, it's gonna explode if you open it right away>> he told you while pointing at your can. <<Oh, right>> you replied and smiled at him <<Do you mind if I sit here for a bit ?>> you asked. He looked at you and took his time looking at your breast, then nodded with a downward smile. You didn't have a large breast, so you really didn't understand why he stared at it, but then you realized it: tank top, no bra, and wind = hard nipples; Dean found the silliest things arousing, so you covered yourself with your jacket while blushing a bit. <<Sooo, what is keeping you awake Y/N? I thought you'd be fast asleep by now>> he said while sipping his beer. You turned to look at him while answering, alcohol was dripping from his lower lip. <> a nervous laugh escaped your mouth as you answered his question, and you sat down on the cold bench.

He looked at you and noticed your swollen eyes and red lips <<Yeah, I get what you mean Y/N>>. Then he hugged you, it was a warm hug that felt like a fire in that cold weather, and kissed your forehead <<I'm here if you need anything, okay?>>, it smelled like iron and alcohol and when that scent reached your nostrils, your body relaxed; you were at ease with such a simple thing. When the two of you were alone, Dean was really sweet to you, he acted so caring and gently that he seemed like a whole different person. You often asked yourself why but always reached the same conclusion: you were younger than him, so he probably felt the need to protect you. That made sense. He did some innuendos and some allusions in the past, but Dean... He was like that with everyone, so you didn't think about it too much. You often replied with a laugh or with something even worse to tease him a bit, just to see him looking away.

<<Thanks, Dean>> you replied and hugged him tightly. Both of you let go of each other and you opened the can. <<No wait Y/N, it's too soo- >> Dean couldn't finish the sentence as beer started to splatter everywhere. You immediately got up to avoid drenching your clothes but the corner of your vision started to blacken. The sudden realization that you didn't eat for the whole day hit you. You tried to find support on the bench and said while looking at Dean <<I'm gonna fain- >>; you couldn't finish the phrase. You lost consciousness and just heard <<Fuck. Y/N!>>.

<<Y/N...>> he snapped you back to reality <<I-I think I love you>> he added while hiding his face with a hand. Your cheeks were red with embarrassment and your heart was beating so fast you were certain he could hear it. Your eyes were locked and you finally whispered <>, while staring at his lips.

Next thing you remember, you were in your bed, and Dean was swirling some sugar inside a cup of water while panicking a bit. <<Fuck Y/N, I told you you should have eaten that burger>> he said with a concerned tone and handed you the sugared water. <<Thanks>> you said while looking at the cup, feeling guilty for making him worry. <<Just take care of yourself!>> he added while looking at you, he had such a concerned look on his face, and you couldn't find the courage to look at him for more than 3 seconds. He took out a donut from the bag he was holding and gave it to you <<Here, eat this. They're from this morning>> he said while handing you the sweet. You silently started eating while looking down. A tear started rolling down your cheek; you were tired and hungry, and, on top of that, you made him worry. He noticed that tear and immediately rushed to sit next to you <<Hey Y/N, What's wrong?>> He asked you and cupped your face with his hand, wiping away that tear. You finally looked at him and started to cry <> you said sobbing and rested your head against his chest. He started caressing your back and holding you between his arms <<ssh Y/N, it's gonna be all right, let it all go>>. His head was on top of yours, your tears were drenching his t-shirt and the two of you stayed like that for a bit.

Finally, he moved you and lifted your chin up to see your face. You were sobbing and couldn't stop, he wiped your tears away and got closer to your face <<How can you be this pretty in such a state?>> he asked you with a hushed tone. Your cheeks turned red with embarrassment and your heart started to beat faster. Dean and you were looking into each other's eyes and your lips were millimeters apart. <<W-what?>> you replied with a shocked tone. <<Oh Y/N, don't you get it?>> he answered while staring at your lips <<why can't I be the same with you as I am with all the other girls? Why can't I stand your innuendos and can't be the usual dick I am with you? >> he said while looking at you. Your mind started to think about what was the aim of that conversation..Dean had feelings for you? "nononono that's impossible" you thought. Sleepless nights were caused by that dork, by his smile and his pretty eyes. You fell for Dean the moment you saw him but futilely tried to hide those emotions, cause like,,, how could he like you? These thoughts were rushing into your head and you couldn't think straight at that moment.

He smiled and kissed you, it was a passionate and gentle kiss, but soon he started twirling his tongue in yours and biting your lips. That kiss relaxed your whole body, your mind was finally empty and everything you could think about at that moment was Dean Winchester. He moved closer to your body and at the end of that kiss, he was on top of you, his gaze locked on your face. <<You have no idea how much I've dreamed about this moment Y/N>> he told you while caressing your face. <<M-me too>> you replied <>.

He smirked and looked at you <<Oh baby, this is gonna feel real, trust me>>. Oh, that tone, that ridiculously flirtatious tone that made you melt every single time. That burning sensation between your thighs started to grow bigger and you couldn't help but let a soft moan out. <<What was that?>> Dean asked you, giggling a bit. <<Oh, shut up dork>> you answered him and chuckled <<Come closer before I change my mind>> you added, (like that was gonna happen) and pulled him closer by his t-shirt. He kissed you again and started to move his hands on your body, caressing your waist, your hips, and your curves. His kisses slowly moved from your mouth to your neck, they became bites that sent shivers down your spine. You could feel Dean's heavy breath on your neck and that feeling was making you so aroused. His hands started to reach your breast and folding it, a moan left his mouth <<You're so fucking perfect>>. He took your top off and stared at you with a grin <<again, so so real. Trust me>>. You giggled and replied <<you better take that t-shirt off 'cause this isn't fair>>; he just nodded with a pretty smile and took his clothes off...all of them except from his boxers. Your mouth automatically opened when you saw his body, his chest, his scars, and his bulge. Fuck, you always believed he was big, but you didn't expect it to be like that. Dean Winchester was perfect and he was standing in front of you, caressing your body. He reached for your hips and slipped your shorts off with a smirk <<Now it's fair>> he said while getting close to your face again. You were so fucking excited and couldn't stop looking at Dean's eyes. He got closer to your ear and whispered with his husky voice <>. Oh...you were soaked down there, it was a fucking pool, to be honest. <<Stop teasing D- >> you couldn't finish that sentence as you felt Dean's fingers pressing against your clit through the cotton of your underwear. <<Okay baby, I'll stop teasing>> he said while gently biting your earlobe. His scent, his voice, and his fingers were driving you crazy. He moved your panties away, and pushed 2 digits inside your wet cunt. A big moan escaped your mouth, all you could hear was Dean giggling and chuckling in response. His thick fingers were moving inside of you, up and down, searching for your sweet spot. He reached it sooner than expected and you arched your back with pleasure <<Dean>>, you moaned his name while keeping his arm tightly. <<I'm not going anywhere Y/N, no need to hold me like that>> he said with a bratty tone. His fingers still moving and rubbing your g-spot, <<c'mon Y/N, let it all go..>> he said while looking at your body. You couldn't hold it anymore and started cumming on his fingers, shivering and trembling while moaning his name. <<Good girl>> he said and kissed you quickly. You were still panting when he took his fingers out, stared at them for a couple of seconds and then sucked your juices off from them with a smirk <<Sweet>> he added <<now let's take this off>>, as he said that, he went on his knees on the bed and took your panties off; a soft moan escaped his throat <<You're so beautiful>> he said while staring at your body. You were red with embarrassment, but Dean's gaze on your body was so heavy and ... arousing. You got up and went on your knees too, started to kiss him, and gently pushed his boxers down. You didn't have to look down cause you felt Dean's cock against your waist, but you did anyway and saw how much pre-cum he built up. <<All that..for me?>> you asked, teasing him a bit. He smirked and just answered <<maybe>>. You laid down again, and now his cock was at the same level as your face, you looked up into his eyes and slowly pushed your lips against his tip. <<Fffffuck>> Dean moaned while looking at you, covering his face with one hand. You smirked and took all his length in your mouth, not without complications... his taste pervaded your mouth and you started to go up and down on his cock.

Dean was moaning so loudly, he started automatically moving his hips and he made you gag on his member with his thrusts, but you didn't care and just let him use your mouth as he pleased. Seeing him so aroused thanks to you made you melt and crumble. That man could have done anything to you at that moment. You could feel his cock twitching inside of your mouth, he was practically mouthfucking you at this point...but you were so horny. Dean suddenly stopped <> he said while looking into your eyes, and raised you up. He kissed you, his precum and your saliva mixed together in that kiss, and you couldn't help but moan in pleasure. He pushed you onto the bed and spread your legs open, your juices were dripping from your thighs, you felt so hot and just wanted him inside of you. <<Look at you>> he said and got closer to your slit, you could feel his breath on your pussy, and you covered your face in shame. You felt his hot tongue tasting you, he stayed outside for a bit, licking your clit and gently sucking it with his mouth but then he quickly moved his fingers on it and went deep inside of you with his tongue. His fingers were rubbing your clit so fast that you couldn't help hit ... you started shivering and trembling while he was going down on you. Your hands reached for his head, and your fingers started going through his hair while you were moaning his name in pleasure. You arched your back and started to shake, your hips were moving and Dean wasn't letting you go for an instant. You looked down and saw his eyes fixed on you... those eyes made you cum again, you were whimpering his name at this point.

<<You taste so good>> Dean said while licking his lips and moving closer to your face. He kissed you again and now your juices melted in your tongue, he began biting your lips and moaning your name. You could feel his cock pressing against your pussy lips and you wanted him so badly <<Please Dean, put it in>> you begged him and spread your legs open for him. As you said that his tip went inside of you and a big moan escaped your throat. His girth was so big, you just weren't ready for that. Your walls tightened around his cock, and he started to slowly push his full length inside of you. He was breathing heavily, sweat was dripping from his body on yours and his scent was driving you mad. <<M-move, pleease>> you said while looking at him <<of course Y/N>> he replied and started moving inside and outside from your pussy, <<you're so fucking wet>> he said grinning, he was holding your waist while going in and out, he looked at your face and started to increase his pace. His thrusts were faster and deeper, one of his hands was now folding your breast, pinching your nipples and he was just looking at your body. Your moans were echoing in the room, your juices were running down your thighs and Dean was sinking his fingers into your body. <<fuuck>> he moaned and then reached for your clit again, he was rubbing it, pinching it, doing anything to make you tremble again. Your moans turned into screams and you could only yell his name with pleasure. He pressed his body against yours while moving his fingers and his hips faster and faster. <<Let it all go, Y/N>> He whispered in your ear. That was your last straw, you started shaking on his dick, sinking your fingernails in his back and screaming his name. Your brain was filled with pleasure and you cummed on his cock, your walls tightened around him and you felt his member twitching inside of you <<fuuck, I'm going to- >>, Dean couldn't finish the sentence as you felt his hot cum stuffing your insides. <<cum>> you replied while giggling a bit. He left his body weight on your body, and both of you were drenched in sweat. <<Yeah, cum>> he chuckled and raised himself up to look at you. He caressed your face and kissed your forehead. <> he added while looking at you with loving eyes. <<so do I>> you answered and hugged him.

<<This probably won't help you recover>> he laughed a bit <<Lay down, I'm gonna get you another donut>>. He got up while u rested on bed, covering your naked body with the bedsheets. His body was so good, you always dreamed of looking at him like this, <> he chuckled. <<Just bring me the donut, I'm gonna faint again because of you>> you said jokingly.

He took the bag and laid next to you, he gave one to you and ate another while holding you tightly.

<> he chuckled while looking at you.

#dean winchester x female!reader smut #dean winchester smut #dean winchester x female reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #smut #spn smut #spn

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usedpidemo · 11 months ago

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the craziest christmas party ive ever attended...(storytime!)

God, the flu fucking sucks. Imagine being healthy for three straight years, working out as often as possible, and then the one time you get caught in the middle of a rain, the next day you begin falling ill. Headaches. Body aches. Cough. Dry throat. Completely zapped all my energy and three years of positive momentum just like that.

One week later, after several trips to the hospital, plenty of rest and medications in between, I was beginning to pick myself back up. If there was any silver lining, I lost weight during that time period because I couldn't eat anything. Even so, I still felt...off. I was forgetting things more often than usual, my clarity and awareness would disappear at random times, and it felt like my body was moving on its own. I felt like I had no control over myself.

This is practically the reason why I've kind of disappeared over the last month or so. The illness completely took me down and I've basically forgotten how to write :< Seriously, I feel like the main character in Memento, trying to pick up the pieces of what the hell happened. I'm getting better with each passing day, though, so hopefully this will all be behind me as we enter the holiday season.

Anyway, it's not often that this country gets to host an international entertainment event, let alone one of the premier Korean awards. No idea, I don't really watch these things at all. The idea of seeing so many K-pop acts and actors in one setting appealed to me. Not to mention the actual lineup? NewJeans! Le sserafim! Mother Eunbi! Itzy! Stayc! Kep1er! Kim Sejeong! Many of these acts are either making their stage debut or have returned numerous times. This was easily a must attend. Who knows when we'll get another opportunity like this, especially after the controversy and backlash surrounding the handling of the ceremony.

I got fortunate buying the tickets. To be fair, they were expensive by local concert standards; 50 USD at the very back to 450 for VIP, which is a significant punch up compared to a typical K-pop concert even solo held in the very same arena. Not to mention, the site automatically picks the tickets for you, rather than give buyers the freedom of choice to select specific seats. It also helps that the pricing turned plenty of people off, on top of previous negative experiences in that arena for other fans. Even better was when I actually entered the venue; since there were so many vacant seats during the beginning, we were moved up to the very front, right where the artists were all seated ahead of us.

Honestly. Shitty camera aside, the scenes were priceless.

I admit I mostly went for the female acts, especially my girlies Le sserafim and Eunbi, but I've learned to give so much respect and appreciate everyone who performed. Regardless of their status and popularity, nugu or main event, the crowd was electric and passionate: they would cheer, sing along to the songs, and interact with the performer when they would ask. There wasn't a dull moment all throughout the seven hour program.

Speaking of seven hours, I can see why I don't watch this shit live: it can be taxing to the mind and body. I had to get up during one of the longer awardings, one where they gave it to like 10 different artists just to stretch my legs. I respect what Wonyoung, Daniel, and Hanbin did to host, cause I'm pretty sure either way my legs would end up melting like jelly after everything that had transpired.

Man. NewJeans. Freaking NewJeans. I understand why they're so beloved and revered like they're the second coming: they truly love their fans. And holy shit, the pop from the audience when they entered the venue for the first time, and they were practically the main characters of the show. Every little thing they did was met with raucous applause. They waved at us like a dozen times all throughout the show and were having fun from beginning to end. Also, the crowd went fucking crazy for their performance. OMG into ETA is insanely hard.

AND THE AUDACITY TO FOLLOW UP NEWJEANS WITH MOTHERFUCKING LE SSERAFIM?! Best transition ever! Their set was even better than MAMA: Perfect Night (holy shit that choreo) into Eve, Psyche, and Bluebeard's Wife (holy shit that choreo). Their aura was through the roof! Unsurprisingly, they also had the crowd going nuclear.

I'm just gonna blitz through the section of favorite performances because if I had to describe them all this would be longer than any of my fics in recent times. Kim Jaejoong is a fucking legend and I was shook when he transitioned from balladeer to a goddamn rockstar. The opening with &Team and SB19 with Gento set the tone for the rest of the show. Kep1er's dance breaks. GOD. I wish it wasn't accompanied with flashing lights cause they were so fucking hot. Mother Kwon Eunbi proved why she's goddamn mother! ITZY had me singing fucking Cake of all songs. AKMU was quirky and fun and thats why I love K-pop. Also, the sibling dynamic reminded me of my rather strange and turbulent relationship with my sister. Just a random anecdote.

The ending was where shit was dialed up to eleven. I feel very lukewarm towards Stray Kids' newer releases post Back Door, but they absolutely brought the heat by opening with Maniac. Get Lit then Topline was when they brought everyone to their feet, including us the audience! And if that wasn't enough, here comes BooSeokSoon (BSS) to end the show on the perfect high. Like none of us were sitting down once it ended.

On top of all the performances, there's the interactions too. Oh man. I was hoping that Le sserafim, ITZY, Kep1er, or Eunbi—any combination of these—would be seated on our side, but we got NewJeans. And they kept interacting with us. So much. Every single member noticed me at least once and I somehow got Hanni on camera. Insanity. If that wasn't enough, NMIXX were also placed on our side, and Lily, Haewon, Bae, and Kyujin waved at us multiple times as well, including during the final goodbyes. STAYC's Yoon went around to wave to everyone in the audience during the intermission period, and after their initial entrance into the venue, Sumin and Seeun waved at us. I really wish I had my cameras on but I was so focused on capturing anyone's attention! It worked; I also got the attention of several other groups, from ZeroBaseOne to Tempest to SB19 to Sakurazaka46. They transferred Le sserafim over to our side late into the ceremony and I was hoping they would interact with us; it wasn't meant to be. I don't have any negative feelings cause I still got copiously blessed with so many other acts.

I don't know what's gonna happen moving forward. Considering the backlash and issues that have sprung in regards to the handling of the ceremony, there's a good likelihood an award show of this scale will ever be hosted again. Or maybe the energy shown by the crowd will inspire future ceremonies, like MAMA or Golden Disc. Who knows. What I do know is that everything about this felt like both a dream and a movie. To see many of my favorites, gain respect for groups I hadn't heard of till last week, and just attend an award show in general is a damn good way to end the year.

#update #storytime

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