#i don't think there's a way to restore pages ://////////////

[egg-emperor]

All the newly shown Eggman concept sketches in SXSG are so cool, especially for how they're for Shadow 2005 💜

This goes so fucking hard my edgy black heart lives for it lol

Wish I knew what all of this said but I love this silly guy 💕

It appeared that his left brow ridge had accidentally been erased as there was some residue, so I copied and pasted the right one to restore it

I always love to see my boys togetherrr

Eggman: I COMMAND you, Shadow!

Shadow: :\

This one is neat for the concepts of inside his base in the game

Especially for this one for Eggman sitting in it in the chair that looks way too small for him in game while Shadow warps in!

I can't say for sure without the translation of what he's saying (really wish I had those for all of these) but it seems he was originally supposed to be sat there while Shadow entered, unlike the final game:

Eggman is already outside in his Egg Mobile, as we also see depicted in this concept, on the same page

It might be hard to tell because it's so small and pretty blurry (because the collection room doesn't even let you zoom in on Shadow Gens damn it) but that is Eggman in his Egg Mobile from the side outside the window lol

Just like this shot in the final game, from the same cutscene where he warps in:

So it seems this was indeed how this cutscene was originally supposed to go. Was Eggman originally going to be sat there while Shadow entered and then he tried to hop in the Egg Mobile and get away, perhaps? XD

Again, hard to tell when I don't know what the dialogue says but this is so awesome! New glimpses into Eggman in Shadow 2005, one of my favorite games and Eggman portrayals ever in 2024 is so cool :'D

And this one is REALLY interesting for how out of left field it is. It's drawn quite like a cover concept

The left side is definitely supposed to be Gerald. Note the lack of goggles and how his stache is shaped like Gerald's Shadow 2005 model that swoops downward more than Eggman's. Also lol he has white sclera just like Eggman does, checkmate :P But he appears to be somehow modified with metal with the scratches, bolts, and seams- or it's some kind of metal version of him perhaps?

Because Metal Sonic is there too, beheaded with Shadow looking badass holding it. Which is something else that's super intriguing, since Metal of course isn't in Shadow 2005 at all!

And also what's supposedly part of the same concept batch, titled "Shadow the Hedgehog stage concept", there's some metallic equivalent of the Biolizard, with Shadow's version of the fight and Finalhazard recreated

Wtf was going on in the early drafts for this game? Some type of possibly metallic Gerald, Metal Sonic, some metallic/robotic Biolizard inspired creation but it's a different creature? I'm so fucking intrigued!

I've always figured that Eggman and the androids were originally going to have a bigger role in Shadow 2005's story with how they set them up in Heroes and this heavily supports that in a completely new and different way like holy shit

Or there's the possibly that this was for a completely different game they considered before but it is listed just as "Shadow the Hedgehog concept" unlike how other concepts in the collection room art gallery have different game titles listed

Either way I'm gonna be thinking about this forever

[pinkfey]

tumblr overwrote my oc page and i'm being so brave about it

[fordtato]

Okay I just gotta say, before I log off, I've been thinking about the fact that these "lost journal 3" pages exist in TBOB, and that Bill says they were ripped out by Ford. So we know that post-Weirdmageddon, Journal 3 was fully restored, including pages Ford ripped or burned out in the 80s (as well as any deterioration that happened since then), but the pages in TBOB still weren't in there.

What that means is that, post-Weirdmageddon, Ford must has ripped these pages out.

So I can imagine Dipper, super excited, running to Ford like "Grunkle Ford! Look! Your Journals! And they have so many new pages I've never seen before!" and then Ford going "haha that's so cool - WAIT," and then just grabbing the book and ripping out a bunch of pages, some with the embarrassing Polaroids, some with the darkest and scariest parts of his trauma, the way he fell for Bill and his lies, some of his personal memories with Fiddleford, etc. and then just handing it back to Dipper.

Dipper, pointing at the pages in the fireplace: uuuuh what were those

Ford:...... nothing.

It would explain why we, the readers, don't have access to those pages after he throws them in the Bottomless Pit at the end of J3.

[petermorwood]

Is "Uh, nope" a frequent US response to lamb?

Or is US lamb somehow different?

This is just a vaguely mystified response to some comments here.

I'm guessing the "G-word" is gamey. I've smelt gamey meat, I don't like it, and Irish lamb definitely isn't that. Also, most people I know don't need to screw up their courage before cooking or eating it.

Mutton, mature sheep-meat, has - or so I've been told, because I've never found it in any local butcher - a much fuller flavour, still not gamey, but more ... robust, pronounced, emphatic, choose your descriptor. It is, after all, a more mature meat.

For terminology reference (though this may not be current any more), "lamb" is up to one year old, "hogget" - remember the farmer's name in "Babe"? - is up to two years old, and "mutton" is over two years.

*****

As I said, I haven't seen mutton anywhere, and haven't HEARD of hogget.

This might be, as I hinted, because terminology has been simplified and all meat from sheep is now "lamb" - and that may answer my own question. Sometimes US lamb has a fuller flavour than, say, Wicklow lamb in Ireland, because sometimes US lamb is hogget or mutton instead.

If so, it restores a possible original meaning to "mutton dressed as lamb". That's now best known as "an older woman dressed inappropriately young", and though the meaning has been around for a long time (this Rowlandson print is dated 1810)...

..."dressing" is also the term for preparing meat for sale.

And THAT makes me wonder if the critical phrase goes beyond fashion into the fine old tradition of adulterating food, and wily butchers transforming elderly sheep into the semblance of younger lamb then charging undiscerning customers accordingly.

I don't know how they might have done it, but if they could then they would. The ways in which 18th-19th century foods were fiddled with is amazing, and more than a bit Yuck.

Or in this case, Ew.

Comments, corrections, criticisms and all the rest are cordially invited.

:->

*****

Side-note; in keeping with the way nicknames get attached to surnames - "Chalky" White, "Dusty" Miller etc. - anyone called Curry usually ended up as "Mutton".

Two brothers at my school had this happen; Tom Curry, the older one, had been "Mutton" for a couple of years, and when his kid brother Will started school he became, of course, "Lamb".

Oh, how we laffed...

*****

ETA: @bellyoftheblast just messaged me this:

It turns out, and I only learned this very recently (I think it's in Hannah Glasse) that "dressed" used to mean "cooked" rather than "prepared for sale". Which would mean "mutton dressed as lamb" would be fast-cooked and thus greasy, unpleasantly tough and decidedly stringy. (Meanwhile I'll never waste good lamb on stew again now that I have a source for mutton -- MUCH better flavour for slow cooking).

Thanks for this snippet! We've got the Prospect Books facsimile of Hannah Glasse 1st ed, so I pulled it down, blew off the dust - it's been a while - and yes indeed, I found the following recipes in just four successive pages:

"To dreſs a Leg of Mutton à la Royale",

"To dreſs a Leg of Mutton to eat like Veniſon",

"To dreſs Mutton the Turkiſh Way"

"To dreſs Veal à la Bourgoiſe"

Mutton dressed (or dreſsed) as Lamb doesn't get mentioned, probably because Mistress Glasse knew better, though that business of Mutton to eat (taste) like Venison is interesting.

It involves cutting the leg of mutton "in the shape of a Haunch of Veniſon" then steeping it in the sheep's blood "for five or six Hours" before wrapping it in layers of buttered paper and roasting it, basted frequently with butter or beef dripping.

Not quite mutton as lamb, but still mutton disguised as something more expensive...

[etirabys]

meandering post about reading Orson Scott Card again

I've been offline starting at 9pm every day (except once. I was drunk at karaoke and asked for anons at 8:30pm) for six weeks, with the result that in befuddled boredom two nights ago I picked up Orson Scott Card's Songmaster from the house bookshelf.

I read Ender's Game and three sequels when I was a teen thought the books were mid. Since those are OSC's best works I assumed he had nothing more interesting to offer me and didn't try more of him for fifteen years, but Songmaster was compelling enough that I immediately afterwards picked up The Memory of Earth, the first book of a pentalogy.

TMoE is extremely my jam: after humanity blows itself up on Earth, AIs monitor thriving human civilizations in the planets that survivors managed to escape to, and suppress any tech that enables large scale violence by exerting low key mind control via satellites. But forty million years pass, many of the satellites break down, and the AI needs help from humans to restore capabilities. Because as its control wanes, people are starting to e.g. conceive of airplanes or bombs again, and override the injunctions against entering military alliances more than two edges of connection away.

The AI is worshipped as a god all over the planet, but the fourteen year old protagonist that becomes one of the AI's agents tells the AI from the beginning that he'll break with it if its morality seems wrong to him. I like the fourteen year old – unlike Ender or Songmaster's protagonist (adult minds piloting ten year old bodies), he's a normal gifted kid who's unpopular 50% due to his ego and big mouth and 50% because he's socially inept and offends people even when he's trying to be nice.

Songmaster is also partly about a permanent solution to large-scale violence, albeit through one guy who establishes a monopoly on violence and sweeps in pax galactica. Both it and TMoE are preoccupied with the eradication of suffering from evil / human violence, which is closer to my resonant frequency than narratives about defeating particular people or ideologies. At the moment I can't think of any other book with such an insistent focus on the matter than T.H. White's The Once and Future King. It's hard to make a compelling story out of, and I don't think Songmaster really succeeds, but TMoE's premise is well suited to explore that. (I'm also enjoying the matriarchal culture where everyone is expected to have multiple serial-monogamous marriages.) After reading 70% of TMoE last night I wrote:

Usually when I read fiction there's a small part of me going, how can I use this as fodder for my own growth, how can I remix or improve or react against this, how do the author and I measure against each other? (If the quality and content are at an anti-sweet spot, the small part becomes quite large and I feel all teeth towards the author.) But on occasion I read something so close that the absence of that measuring-feeling is its own sensation – ego departs, or at least is split across two bodies. There's just amity and recognition

And it's pretty interesting to feel this way about Card for, well, the reasons.

(If you're familiar with Card drama none of the following will be new to you; I'm coming to it fresh so the rest of this post is me going "uh... wow")

I vaguely knew he was a homophobic Mormon who'd gotten into fights about gay stuff, but I couldn't tell from the Ender books I read. But in Songmaster his issues spring off the page in such a weird way. Every fifth Goodreads review of this book is "Card, u gay?" because, well,

(One review, possibly from a fellow Mormon, that went "Card, it's so sinful of you to be this gay in your novel". Why did he write this book that would predictably make everyone mad...)

it's full of gay male desire. The protagonist (Ansset) is approximately a castrato and characters notice him sexually a lot. The first and only time Ansset has sex it's with a Kinsey 4-5 male character he loves, who's married to a woman but has fallen in love with Ansset. It turns out the drugs Ansset took to prolong his singing career painfully and only-kinda-figuratively explode your balls when you have your first orgasm and you'll never feel sexual desire again. (You'd think his loving teachers would have warned him of that, but, whatever, they didn't.) The other guy is literally castrated in punishment for inadvertently torturing a highly valuable castrato. It's pretty bald: GAY SEX IS ALMOST IRRESISTIBLY TEMPTING BUT YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT.

(Sidenote: both Ansset and the guy's wife are very close and have a "there's enough love to go around" attitude about the gay sex initially, before they go "wait Josif is a SERIAL MONOGAMIST... he can only love one person at a time... the moment he had the gay sex his marriage was destroyed". It's funny in a mildly stupid way that Card would set up this parable of homosexuality destroying lives and a marriage but almost everyone involved is peacefully ready to sail into an open marriage. I guess it makes sense if you want to say very clearly that THE GAY PART IS THE BAD PART)

which is fascinating to me, because... why would you tell on yourself like that

(81k also told me secondhand of an essay? interview? where Card openly says "we have to stand against legalizing gay marriage because everyone will get gay married and society will collapse", so that's informing my read of Songmaster as well)

I am pretty dang open about my personal life online but if I had a lot of feelings I thought were disgusting and immoral I would not write a novel dripping with those feelings before pointedly castrating the leads for them. Especially if it wasn't relevant to the actually highbrow themes of (checks notes) winning over your adversaries with kindness and never relinquishing your monopoly on violence. I would be so so so so embarrassed to let this go to print, it's so psychologically transparent, what was he thinking

(Well, I assume he's a very different person with different social incentives. For all I know, people in his church went "hey Orson we read your book and it's clear that you're gay but signaling strongly that you won't give into the gay feelings, we're here for you, it was really brave of you to publish this".)

[calamari-inari]

"... you become what you believe."

Dimitri and AM!Ferdinand mini doujin, 7 pages. Read right to left!

Transcript and personal captions under the cut

CW: blood

Comic transcript. Thoughts/monologues are in parentheses. Background dialogue is in brackets.

PAGE 1

D: Ferdinand.

D: I've been wanting to ask you a question...

F: (He looks like a demon..!)

F: Yes? What is it? Please speak properly...

PAGE 2

D: Why did you leave the Empire?

D: I remember how you were during our time at the Officers Academy.

D: You placed so much pride in your heritage.

F: What is the use of pride if I have nothing left?

F: The former Duke Aegir was dismissed. My title, my land... They are all gone now.

D: ...It's because of that woman.

D: Tell me, what do you seek?

PAGE 3

F: I am not sure I understand.

D: Last night, I entrusted one task to you.

[P-please! I'll tell you what I know!]

F: Yes. I killed the Imperial soldier as you had instructed me.

D: That is what I mean.

D: You are simply following my orders.

D: You did not want to kill him, correct?

F: Dimitri, he had vital information for us and you did not let him finish!

PAGE 4

D: Anyway, similarly, I also lost the throne. I have little care for that, however.

D: Now, I'm fighting with a single mission: avenging the dead. They will not be satisfied until I have her head.

F: *sigh* You had said that, but you should not accept that as true.

D: What rubbish. Anyone that deserves to die will die.

F: Dimitri! That is-

PAGE 5

D: Silence, Ferdinand!

D: This hatred and regret I feel... Nothing I do will ever be enough until that witch is gone.

D: What are you-

PAGE 6

D: ... Hmph. What a pest you are.

D: Why do you insist on staying by my side? As you used to closely affiliate with that woman, I could easily kill you here and now.

F: You do not wish to, do you? Because your heart says otherwise. Learn to forgive yourself.

D: But do I deserve forgiveness? The guilt that weighs down on me is...

PAGE 7

F: Dimitri, while I may have left the Empire behind, my nobility has not dulled.

F: Create the grandest vision for yourself because you become what you believe. Do you understand? It is a noble's duty to support you until the end, no matter how far you may stray.

F: That is why I am here for you.

💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡

I don't really draw comics often, but this was certainly worth the effort!! I've always thought Ferdinand is the greatest support character ever, and with him joining the Blue Lions, his role won't change. Just like in the stories of Pan and Loog, Ferdinand would choose to help Dimitri on his path to become the restoration king of Faerghus without ever taking any credit. It's quite evident in his character based on some of his paired endings. I just think that's one of the things that makes them so great and sweet 🥺 I imagine Ferdinand wouldn't hate Edelgard in AM, but rather, he wants to show her that he's able to support his lord (Dimitri) in a way that she never would have thought of. After all in AM, Edelgard only ever knew his snobby academy version who would always childishly rival her.

Please let me know if you liked it!! I'm definitely creating more fanart of these two (maybe a little more intimate next time because I want to lol 🫶)

[starry-nights-garden]

&Team Reaction ✧ You falling asleep on their shoulder

✧ &Team all members x gn!reader ✧ genre: reaction, fluff, some humor ✧ warnings: none

K:

pretends to be offended when you fall asleep on his shoulder during your date night at his place

lowkey pouts and mumbles a complaint about how you can't appreciate the time spent with your boyfriend enough

?????

you’re stirred awake and as you're about to get mad at him he makes it clear he was joking and throws his arms around you tightly

"It's okay, if my baby wants to sleep we can sleep."

really he's just trying his utmost to gloss over the fact that you sleeping on his shoulder made his heart skip several beats and he's also sincerely praying you can't see that his ears are beet red

this just made him feel way too many feelings, and as he's letting you snuggle up to him while you're lying down on the couch he's kinda starting to regret his reaction

as he’s finally calming down he must admit you falling asleep on his shoulder was kinda nice, so from that day on he keeps hoping it would happen again

Fuma:

you're on the way home after a date night out and he can tell you're very tired

so he makes sure you can sit on the subway home, and once the seat next to you clears up he sits down too

will wordlessly put his arm around you and pull you just a little closer so that your heavy head will soon come to rest on his shoulder naturally

and then you really do fall asleep with him as your pillow, and what started as a simple caring gesture is soon causing him serious heart problems jdbdjdjx

this guy will just be blushing madly while trying to hide it from all the other people in the same carriage jdbdndnd

and if he hears you snoring softly that will just take him out, like he will be about to combust into a billion pieces right then and there

needless to say, once you arrive at your station, he will be the more tired one, and not just because you got a nice little nap to restore your energy :’)

Nicholas:

notices right away that you're super tired when your eyelids keep drooping in the middle of the day

you're over at his place for an entire day of just watching movies with him, but you're not even halfway through the first one and you're already dozing off at the other end of the sofa

he knows that the reason why you're falling asleep isn’t because the movie he picked out is so boring to you, but he feels the need to tease you about it anyway

"I didn't think you'd be that bored by it?" 

his playful complaint shocks you awake and you're quick to assure that that's not it

however, all your worries fade away when you see him grinning at you, and he extends his arms to bring you in closer

tells you it's okay and that he understands you didn't get much sleep last night

offers you his shoulder to take a nap and suggests finishing the movie afterwards

you agree without even being able to think about it, and you immediately doze off again

when you wake up you find yourself laying right beside him on the sofa, your head on his chest and his fingers drawing soothing patterns on your back

EJ:

lets out a soft "oh" when he feels the impact on his shoulder and he can smell your perfume right next to his face

you're studying together at his place, and because he knows how tired you are he tried his best to make it as fun as possible, coming up with elaborate examples to explain the parts you don't get and bringing your favourite snacks as a reward after memorizing each page

but now that you actually dozed off on his shoulder it dawns on him just how tired you really were

"Y/N..." - he calls out to you softly until he can see your eyelids flutter

tells you it's probably better if you rest for today and you continue studying tomorrow

when you agree and snuggle up to him more closely, he lets you

but his heart will also do the funniest things while watching you sleep peacefully so close to him…

Yuma:

his heart does flutter when your head suddenly hits his shoulder, but above all he's surprised that you're dozing off in the middle of the day

"Y/N... Y/N!" - calls out to you until you lift your head and look at him sleepily

scolds you for not sleeping enough at night and gives you a little lecture about how you need to use the day to be productive and the night to rest - not do whatever all night!!

when you start sulking and you tell him you couldn't fall asleep for hours he also realizes he might've been too strict

"Still... nighttime is for sleeping so... if you think you can't fall asleep tell me and I'll come over and help, okay?"

and now you find yourself smiling as he pulls you into an apologetic hug

lets you nap for a bit as you use him as a pillow, but makes sure you don't sleep too long so you could get a good night's rest later on

Jo:

he’s startled when he suddenly feels your head on his shoulder for sure, but after a second or two he’ll simply be smiling at you in adoration

the two of you went out to see a movie together - a pretty fun action movie - and he wasn’t aware of just how tired you must’ve been

but now that you’re dozing off on his shoulder despite the loud sound effects and a storyline he knows would’ve normally had your eyes glued to the screen in excitement, he can’t but let out a soft laugh

he’s not mad at you for falling asleep during your date, quite the opposite actually

he finds it adorable and highly amusing how you can sleep under such circumstances

will carefully put an arm around you to pull you closer, and though feeling you sleeping by his side like this makes his heart beat just a bit faster, he’ll simply let you have your nap time

will give you a soft laugh once you wake up, and he swears he’s not laughing at you, he’s laughing because you were just so cute!!

Harua:

he’s been talking to you about something and got really into it, so when you feel your ability to focus slipping away from you more and more you do feel sorry for him

but you also don’t want to stop him in his excited rambles, so you do your best to listen anyway

however, eventually your eyelids become too heavy and before you realize it you’re already dozing off with your head on his shoulder

“...ohmygod…” - he breathes out with wide eyes, completely panicking at the sudden closeness to you

whirls around before he can get himself together, and as a result your head now lands in his lap

and well, now he’s blushing madly, but eventually he’ll collect himself enough to figure that it’s better if he lets you sleep and gets you a blanket so you’re comfortable

forgets all about what he was talking about just earlier, and as he’s taking in your features from up close, tracing the lines on your face with a soft gaze, he feels himself calming down too

Taki:

was joking around with you while you two were watching a video on his phone and gets so into it that he fails to notice how you're getting sleepier and sleepier

as soon as your head lands on his shoulder, he's so surprised that he freezes up

he's not used to having you so close to him and also the way he can suddenly very clearly smell the perfume you're using makes his heart race like crazy

but instead of freaking out he figures he should simply let you get some rest if you're this tired and not move around until you wake up again by yourself

awkwardly fishes his headphones out of his pocket to continue watching the video without bothering you

but turns out he really cannot focus on a single thing happening on his phone screen while you're using him as a pillow :')

Maki:

you're sitting on the couch together in the late afternoon as you can feel your eyelids getting heavier 

the moment your head hits his shoulder he immediately lifts it up to shake you off, because he thinks you're playing around

gives you a playful smile but when he sees your confused and half-asleep expression he immediately realizes he fucked up

"Oh god, wait- You were really falling asleep? But it's not even that late yet?"

when you tell him you barely slept the night before he seems to understand, and he leans back to make space for you on his lap, giving it a few pats

lets you use his lap as a pillow for you to take a nap and promises to wake you up in time for dinner

[descendant-of-truth]

Ohhh this scene. This one's a doozy

Nine is right to call this out about Sonic, of course. While he's definitely grown since the start of the show, he's never really been able to move past his tunnel vision and tendency to project onto the others.

He never thought to ask Nine what he wanted not because he doesn't care, but because he didn't think he needed to. He inherently assumes that the people he's working with are on the same page as him until told otherwise - in fact, it wasn't too long ago that he was similarly thrown off by Shadow in that very room.

(Love Shadow being used as a sort of "test run" for these kinds of conflicts by the way)

But here's the thing. While it's true that Sonic didn't really think about what Nine wanted and just assumed they were going to stick together no matter what... the same is true of Nine.

Look at how confused Nine looks when Sonic talks about coming back to Green Hill and restoring it:

Nine didn't ask what Sonic was wanting to do by repairing the Prism because he thought it was obvious that they were going back to the Grim together. I don't think it occurred to him that fixing Green Hill was even an option, or at least not one that he considered in favor of his original plans.

And just like Sonic, it's not that he only cares about himself - he went out of his way to engineer coconuts and (presumably) palm trees because he knew how much Sonic missed them. It was really sweet!

But, in what's becoming a pattern in this show, he doesn't understand why those trees matter to Sonic. They're not just cool plants, they're a reminder of home. And as Sonic aptly puts it at the start of the show, home is where your friends are.

I love that the conflict here is that both of them were convinced they knew what the other person wanted/would be okay with, because they think it'll naturally be the same thing they want, and then were both completely unprepared to handle a conflict of interest. It feels so natural and makes perfect sense with how they've been written up to this point.

But see, while I think it's pretty clear that Sonic and Nine fell into the exact same communication trap, I think it's going to take longer for Nine to realize his own fault in any of this.

Sonic spent the entire second half of that conversation looking devastated, and he's made it clear throughout the show that he's quick to feel remorse when he realizes he's hurt someone. In all likelihood, he's going to put all of the blame for that argument on himself, decide that Nine was right about everything, and leave it at that.

Nine, likewise, doesn't strike me as a particularly self-reflective type. He'd probably try to justify not needing Sonic to himself before anything else, and with that in mind, who else is there to make him see the situation with more nuance?

If I had to pick, I'd guess Shadow - our resident "smacking people in the face with their own flaws" extraordinaire.

Why would he bother with any sort of mediating between the two? Well, the funniest reason would be that he finds Sonic's self-pitying and Nine's self-righteousness equally annoying, but I'm inclined to assume any sort of confrontation between him and Nine would be a little more dramatic than that. (He might still use that reasoning as justification though)

Anyway I gotta cut this post short before I go too far into speculation territory or else I'll be here for another hour and this took long enough to write as is, case in point I love me a well-written and believable conflict

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

7 Types of Rest

I've been reading a bit about this and jotting down some notes because the framework is helpful for communicating my different kinds of exhausted and gives me ideas on how to help myself more, and idk I thought I would share because I think other people might find it useful or interesting. I don't have just one article on it to recommend because unfortunately they are almost all trying to sell you their telehealth services or a meditation app or whatever.

**Disclaimer that resting isn't going to fix everything, examples of things to do aren't going to be accessible to everyone, they are just meant to be a start to brain storming, this is not medical advice etc...**

Physical - Relates to activities that are physically restorative

Mental - Relates to taking a break from mental stimulation

Spiritual - Relates to the fundamental need for belonging, purpose and acceptance

Emotional - Relates to being able to experience and express your real and authentic feelings

Sensory - Relates to giving your senses a break from stimulation

Social - Relates to feeling energized by spending time with people who contribute to your life in positive, supportive, and meaningful ways

Creative - Relates to appreciating beauty or feeling awe/wonder

Notes I made for "signs you need x type of rest" and actually getting that type of rest are under the cut. Again, they are personal so take them with a grain of salt. Also some of my notes on things I could do would definitely apply to others. I didn't want to keep writing "go outside" and "journal" for over half of them lol.

Physical Rest

Signs you may need physical rest

Feeling fatigued, body aches and pains

Feeling mentally sluggish or foggy

Getting some relief

Prioritize getting good quality sleep

Go on walks or engage in other gentle physical activity

Stretch throughout the day

Getting a massage (maybe trade with a friend or partner?)

Improve the ergonomics of your workspace

Mental Rest

Signs you may need mental rest

Unable to concentrate or recall simple things

Unable to relax

Racing thoughts

Getting some relief

Schedule breaks throughout the day

Write things down (can help racing thoughts or things you're worried about forgetting)

Do a satisfying activity that doesn't require much thought (example: coloring pages, simple craft)

Spiritual Rest

Signs you may need spiritual rest

Feeling lack of purpose or belonging

Getting some relief

Get involved in local community

volunteer

pray or meditate

Emotional Rest

Signs you may need emotional rest

Feeling weighed down

Stifling/suppressing feelings

Strong need to please others

Getting some relief

Talk to someone who allows you to be your authentic self

Participating in a peer support group

Journaling

Sensory Rest

Signs you may need sensory rest

Feeling energized at the start of the day, but becoming more irritable as the day progresses

Getting distracted by noises other people seem to be able to tune out

Getting some relief

Use dimmable lighting or lamps

Regularly set notifications to do not disturb

Use power strips to easily turn off multiple appliances at once

Avoid running loud appliances during busy parts of the day (ex. if washing machine is loud, don't run it while you're trying to pack and get out the door on time)

Social Rest

Signs you may need social rest

Feeling drained, exhausted

Feeling like your only interactions are with people who want/need something from you

Getting some relief

Nurture life-affirming, meaningful relationships

Make time for socializing with friends who don't "need" anything from you, where you can just enjoy each other's company

If you know you will be interacting with someone you find draining, make a plan to engage in social rest after

Creative Rest

Signs you may need creative rest

Feeling "blah"

Struggling with problem solving or brainstorming

Getting some relief

Go out in nature

Spend time in inviting spaces

Listen to music

Watch a skilled performer

Display items you find visually appealing in both home and work spaces

[ot3]

Hi, I just finished the AA trilogy with my bf and we fell in love with it! I found your blog the other day, and it sometimes feels like you're the only one giving correct takes on these characters' writing and the minutiae of everyone's inner worlds (or the fumbling of, see Godot).

I just got here, but, something that's been bothering me about the fandom's approach to the sequel trilogy is like... the imperialist undertones are glossed over, or swept under the rug. Researching "The Dark Age of the Law" and beyond puts a sour taste in my mouth. And with Khura'in the country vs Kurain the village? It all feels racist at best (the concept of the Divination Seance gives me squick). If you have the time, I'd love to hear your thoughts about AA5 and AA6 in relation to the world of AA as a whole. Thanks again for all of your thoughtful and nuanced takes on this series!

so glad to hear you guys liked the games!! thank you for enjoying my posts, i always appreciate it.

the tl;dr of it is that i do think they are genuinely bad enough additions to the franchise that they have signed mainline ace attorney's death warrant. picking out the dark age of the law stuff and aa5 and the imperialism in aa6 you've pretty much honed right in on my two biggest critiques

however i do want to say that although they're being bundled and sold as a 'second trilogy' that's not quite accurate either experientially when playing the games or from a development perspective. aa4 had scenario design/creative direction by series creator shu takumi, with the art director being kazuya nuri (responsible for character design for rise from the ashes in the series previous to this); aa5+6 was spearheaded by takeshi yamazaki, who had been with the franchise since its first game, with the slightly less tenured takuro fuse on art direction/character design. yamazaki and fuse are not without skill, but i think they're both significantly less skilled than takumi and nuri respectively and. it really shows.

pair that with the fact that aa5 and 6 fundamentally do not follow up on any of ace attorney 4's established characters or plots more than superficially, i don't think it's particularly useful to critique 4-5-6 as if they're a single body of work in the same way the trilogy is. apollo justice isn't a perfect* ace attorney game but it's a good one.

anyway i think buying into the 'dark age of the law' stuff in ace attorney 5 necessitates cheapening all of the events preceding it. the implication that 1. the law wasn't that bad before but it Is Now and 2. a single case was the tipping point for whether or not the entire legal system would be bad just ruins the times when ace attorney has managed to acknowledge corrupt systems as a massive source of problem for the everyman in the past

i think this screenshot from the dark age of the law wiki page says a lot:

For starters, that phoenix quote. He would not fucking say that. I don't think there has ever been a point during or leading up to phoenix's career where he thought the legal system had 'glory' he would then want to restore it to. you seem to get it so im not gonna harp on this too much on this but. jesus christ

then, then there's fact that even by stating the most basic details about the franchise's events undermines the whole premise. like okay notice that the corruption that happens during the trilogy/investigations spinoffs is coming from all of the actual agencies that represent law and order/the system: the prosecutors, the police, and the prosecutorial investigation committee. however in aa5 the thing they choose to paint as responsible for supposedly unprecedented levels of corruption in the legal system is defense attorneys resorting to more drastic means, and the general public; aka not the people who are responsible for upholding the legal system but the people who are victimized by it and in opposition to it.

i don't think this was an intentional choice as much as it's just sloppy, inconsiderate, and contrived writing.

aa6 is just flat out racist. 'imperalist undertones' is i would say the gentlest way you could phrase it. like. japanese characters going to a made up south asian country that needs to be taught how to govern itself to quash its internal rebellion is like. so high on the yikes meter.

making a bunch of fake 'ethnic sounding' nonsense names filled with apostrophes to make them into silly sounding english phrasing was a disastrously tone deaf thing for the localization to do. they're really unforgivable. the worst of it all is probably "Inga Karkhuul Haw'kohd Dis'nahm Bi'ahni Lawga Ormo Pohmpus Da'nit Ar'edi Iz Khura'in III" i'm unsure if the names are quite as offensive in the original japanese because i haven't looked too much into what they actually are and have a really limited knowledge of the language. but. this name in japanese is "インガ・カルクール・ククルーラ・ラルバン・ギジール・ホフダラン・マダラ・ヴィラ・ヤシマ・ジャクティエール・クライン３世" which is written in katakana. katakana is, in contrast to kanji and hiragana which are used for writing japanese, used to phoenetically transcribe foreign languages or to write loan words. so the foreign-ness of this character is being emphasized here in the original text as well.

the supposed cultural inferiority of the khurainese people is baked into the game at pretty much every level, down to the gags. khura'in has the 'plumed punisher' show, which is actively criticized by the characters in game for just being a cheap ripoff of the steel samurai. they don't even get to have their own tv.

i believe the reason the racism is pretty much glossed over a lot in the fandom is for several reasons. for starters, ace attorney fans overall tend to fall into three camps: 1. people like me who fucking hate these games, refuse to acknowledge them, and would retcon them out of existence if possible. 2. people who have found things they like about the game and have a Good Version of the characters and plots that they have constructed in their head and 3. people who view all of the hate on these games as completely overblown

the first camp Does talk about how the game is racist but we're all already in agreement about that so it's kind of preaching to the choir and a bit redundant to keep going on about. the second camp tends to acknowledge the stickier aspects of the game but focuses on making content around the elements they like rather than critique. the third camp is the type to throw the baby out with the bathwater re: critiquing a thing they like. it's all haterism to them. but either way i think its kind of fucked up how many people will be like 'aa6 isnt that bad you guys are just mean' without even acknowledging these complaints.

anyway the khura'in country vs kurain village thing is really weird to me it shows both a lack of imagination and a disregard for the series' own established lore. why would a girl from a village where almost everyone is a spirit medium need to go to a place where only, like, two people are mediums to train.

i will say though that the divination seance is kind of one of the only things i found about aa6 to be an interesting addition. for a franchise with ghost summoning and murder solving, the two have a kind of hilariously low amount of overlap so i found the idea of bringing ghost bullshit into court really fun. mechanically speaking, the divination seances also felt a LOT better to play than the mood matrix segments of aa5.

in general, i think the biggest weakness of the mainline franchise under takeshi yamazaki's stewardship is its misunderstanding of stakes. both aa5 and 6 prioritize more bombastic and impressive on paper material stakes. oh no! the ENTIRE JUSTICE SYSTEM BEING GOOD OR BAD depends on this one case! on no! we have to DEAL WITH REBEL INSURGENTS! complete horseshit when there is not competent and functional enough character writing to get us emotionally invested here. yamazaki seems to think bigger is better, and that just simply isnt true for something like ace attorney

i've pointed this out in the past when critiquing aa5 and 6 but if you look at the actual material stakes on the line in ace attorney, they're at their highest after rise from the ashes. ousting the corrupt chief of police is the most impressive and impactful thing phoenix does with his career (arguably until the jurist system, but definitely in the trilogy.) but that's not the big Finale case for his character arc. his finale case is defending his college girlfriend; a nun who lives in the mountains, whose conviction would have had zero implications on the larger fabric of ace attorney's legal system. because takumi's writing clearly shows that he understands what makes a plot impactful is the emotional stakes the characters have invested in the events.

before taking over the main franchise, takeshi yamazaki was responsible for the miles edgeworth investigations spinoffs. i do enjoy both of those games - aai2 in particular is really strong. yamazaki does a great job with edgeworth's character arc even if i have some specific gripes with the duologys writing. i think theyre solid additions to the franchise. but you can see traces of this sort of misalignment in narrative priorities here as well. for example, the last case in aai1 is notorious for still going on for, like, an entire hour or two past the time when the last remaining plot point we care about has been revealed. because yamazaki seemingly had no understanding that That was the thing the case should have been about, and that should have been the final mic drop of the game. it just keeps going! he didn't know the game was done and he added a bunch more bullshit busywork after it that no one likes!

so yeah. without going into anything even as specific as how individual plotlines or character arcs were mishandled in aa5/6 that's really my overview What Went Wrong of those games.

[citrineaura]

New Official Welcome Home Theory

The person Wally is talking to is from the Restoration Team, which the rest of the members seem to be against- the person who Wally is communicating with- is the black sheep of the team. You will see that in the hidden page where the passcode is needed. BSPJW is the password by the way.

That is also who Wally is referring to when he says in his new "prank call" audio "Keep working" because this person is the main one working to combine all the clues together while feeling left out by the rest of the Restoration Team.

This one is the apple of Wally's eye, which is why he says he loves them.

This person also seems to be experiencing some illusions, maybe they have sort of an unstable mental state, as you will see in the hidden page, they have spirals drawn on post cards, there are eyes, they're either dreaming or having illusions (caused by Wally?) of Wally sitting on the foot of their bed with a phone because he wants to communicate with them.

That's why all of the audios when you click each bug says "Answer" because Wally wants this person to answer his calls.

All of this is why I don't believe Wally is naive like we think he is. Maybe he was before his awakening, but his current self isn't at all. He's learned to code on computers, he's seemingly casting illusions as a way of communication, he's the only one that's aware his life is fictional which is why all of the audios (when you click on the bugs) ends with each character saying Wally's name in a distorted way.

-Because that's what his predicament is; distortion of life. Unreality if you will, like Clown tags each time he posts about Wally.

On that note, I'd like to end this observation with a small theory. Considering this ONE person from the RT is the one Wally is communicating with, I assume something is wrong with both the team AND Playfellow Workshop.

Wally and Home are crying out for help- for answers. None of them are the villain. I do believe Wally has been driven to slight insanity because of his situation, so he's questionable at best- but these two aren't the villains.

Playfellow Workshop is the problem and the Restoration Team (excluding the person Wally has chosen to talk with) doesn't exactly seem like a reliable source.

That's all I have for now.

9/27 edit: Part Two

9/27 edit: Part Three

[flanaganfilm]

Hey Mike! Absolutely love your work, especially Haunting of Hill House and Fall of the House of Usher. I was wondering a couple things:

Any chance we will ever get to see that deleted scene where Carla plays a homeless woman singing to Madeleine? Loved the Easter egg and also can’t get enough of Verna so it would be so cool to see that deleted scene!

Also wanted to know what it was like working with Mary? It was such a joy to see her in House of Usher!! Hoping to see her in future Flanaverse projects!!

Hi there! That material was removed very early in the editing process, long before the scene was completed, so there isn't a finished "scene" to show. Carla and Mary did fine work acting in those moments, but the series as a whole is stronger without it, so a completed version of the scene with that footage simply never existed. It's an odd alchemy when you tell a story this way, and sometimes scenes that seem to work on the page can be acted beautifully, shot exquisitely, and still not be necessary or additive. In this case, it actually worked against the mysteries of the show, it wasn't believable that Madeline wouldn't recognize Verna, and it was clear that this was a mistake. It was my mistake for writing the scene the way I did, and it happens all the time. We could tell immediately that it didn't fit, so we didn't waste much time proving it out. Releasing deleted scenes is a tricky thing. I love bonus features - it's one of the great benefits of physical media - but even if we had a huge special edition box set of Usher, I don't know that we would have included this scene. Sometimes these things just aren't meant for the audience, even as an interesting relic, and this is one of those times. Incidentally, I had the same feeling about some of the material that didn't make it into the Bly Manor edit. We knew the scenes weren't working very early in the process, so they were never refined into any shape that would warrant their release. Fans will hear an actor talk about scenes they worked on, and the fans get all excited, but if they were to see those scenes it wouldn't enhance their love of the characters or the story... in fact, it can work against it. For years, I've had Bly fans reach out lamenting that they can't see some of the Bly material they've read about in cast interviews, but I'm certain that seeing it in its raw, unfinished state wouldn't enhance or deepen their love of the characters or the show. There's really nothing to release. It's just excess material that lands on the floor while you're sculpting, and sticking it back onto the sculpture only makes a noticeable wart. Other times, though, deleted scenes can be incredibly additive. For example, I think the 30 minutes we took out of the theatrical release of Doctor Sleep only enhanced the movie, and made the experience that much more rich - which was why I was so happy to release the Director's Cut with those scenes restored. Those scenes, though, were fully finished, and only removed in the first place because of the movie's run-time. Restoring those elements made the sculpture complete - they were always supposed to be there. But most times, deleted material is just unnecessary material. It can be like having an amazing meal prepared for you, and then being handed a plate of surplus or unused ingredients. Like, the chef needed to peel a lemon before squeezing it over the meal as a wonderful finishing touch. That dash of citrus really made the meal sing. But that doesn't mean you want to eat the peel. And I LOVE working with Mary. I'm sure we'll do it again!

[pink-amethyst-tarot]

What you need to hear RIGHT NOW

Oh, my goodness, the urgency of it all...

Take what resonates and leave the rest. In the end, you are the one who is in control of your life.

P I L E 1 ~ P I L E 2 ~ P I L E 3

Pile 1 ♡

Judgement, Ten of Swords (Reversed), Two of Wands (Reversed), Page of Wands, The Star, King of Swords Bottom of the Deck: Wheel of Fortune

A decision has finally been made and you can now rest and recharge. You are now in a place where you can set long-term goals and will be inspired. You are now ready to explore new ideas and possibilities. The tables have turned, and good fortune is on your side. Your faith will be restored, and you will have the mental clarity to move forward.

Pile 2 ♡

Queen of Wands, Four of Cups (Reversed), Eight of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, King of Pentacles, Four of Wands Bottom of the Deck: The Magician

You need to be celebrating yourself! You have worked really hard for this. Be confident in what you've done. You gotta own it! Your hard work is leading to financial success, and you have many love offers coming your way! One of which is the person you will marry! You did this! You did the work so be proud of yourself!

Pile 3 ♡

King of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, The Devil, Judgement, Knight of cups (Reversed), Ten of Cups (Reversed) Bottom of the Deck: The Hermit

You are very caring and kind. That in of itself is not a bad thing to be. But you give so much of yourself, that you are left empty. It seems like you think you have to be needed to have value. That is not true! YOU HAVE VALUE BECAUSE YOU EXIST AND YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER REASON FOR IT TO BE TRUE!!!! You are being asked to heal and free yourself from any guilt or obligation. It's time to rest, recharge and take time to understand yourself and maybe even doing some shadow work. This is the time that you need to be alone to better understand yourself and so you can learn to pour into your own cup. It's unrealistic to hold yourself to these sky-high standards.

If you are looking for a personal reading, you can look on my shop on Etsy at PinkAmethystTarot, DM me or send me an e-mail at pinkamethysttarot@gmail.com

If you feel called to tip:

C@SH@PP: $oddlycozycottage

Thank you all so much for interacting with me and my readings, it really does mean the world to me!

Page Divider by @reveriesources

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. THESE READINGS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. no guarantees are implied. These readings are not a substitute or replacement for any professional help or services. My readings are not a substitute for any form of professional legal, medical/psychiatric, relationship, religious/spiritual or financial/ business advice nor consultations. You should always see a professional legal/trained adviser for help in any matter. I am not responsible for any decisions/ actions you take.

[twitter-bores-me-to-death]

Chapter 212 Notes.

● Short but vey enjoyable chapter. The art was more stellar than ever, the backgrounds especially eye-catching.

● Although it mainly seves as a breather and a recap of sorts, I think there were many intersting aspects worth inspecting closer:

▪︎ Are they being monitored?

I couldn't help but notice how often Ciel and Sebastian paused mid-sentence or trailed off at the end of one, especially Sebastian, which is very uncharacteristic of him.

He's taking the time to choose his words very carefully. Speaking of which, does anybody else find it incredibly weird that they're going into such detail about their plans in public while enjoying tea in broad daylight? They're so obviously going out of their way to seem careless.

Edit: I forgot to point out that unlike many (all?) of their past investigations, Ciel chose to not go undercover. He's blatently flaunting his identity, fully expecting to be recognized. It's part of the plan. It does seem like he's trying to lead the police somewhere and use them to restore his public image.

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out they're being tailed. Sebastian noticed it from the second they got on the train, and alerted Ciel through this silent exchange:

He prompted Ciel to get out of the cabin. Then, I guess Ciel decided to remain in the dining car for the entire ride because his pursuers likely won't make an attempt at his life a crowded area, alarming and possibly endangering innocent civilians. Seb got Ciel's drift hence his sarcastic remark:

Our duo might clash with said pursuers the second they reach the station however, they might opt for keeping a low profile and swiftly bypass them.

(Note: We've got some shots of the curtains/windows for no apparent reason, too... Maybe this is the BOM fan in me speaking but it is very suspicious lol.)

▪︎ Our duo will have to transfer at Redhill before resuming their journey to Brighton. I don't believe we were given this piece of info for nothing. Perhaps we will witness some action with the Yard/their pursuers before the hotel nightmare begins.

▪︎ Lastly, from the title page with the train ticket, to the cabin, to the dining car, Ciel and Seb were always facing each other. Not once were they shown to stand or walk next to each other. Is it hinting at a future confrontation/separation? Or are they finally seeing eye to eye, sitting at a table as equals? 🤔 hmm. Perhaps it doesn't mean anything lmao. Still, on my second read, the way they were positioned/framed really caught my eye.

That's all! I don't think we will get to Brighton right away, next chapter but I can't wait to see my scheming devil spawn and his demon of a butler in action!

[2sw]

🖤Understanding Season 4&5 Sam🖤

long post, 30 gifs

sorry I don't care if my english sucks or not anymore. I live with the urge to defend Sam 24/7, that's what it's about.

this post looks weird on pc… recommend you to read on the app

Supernatural S1E01 Pilot // S1E06 Skin S3E08 A Very Supernatural Christmas S4E19 Jump the Shark

Do you see the parallels here? This is why I think people who say season 4 Sam was annoying also hate every other character in this show, they just don't realize that. It was not a big deal when other characters treated Sam the way they did, but when Sam started to mirror them you suddenly find it annoying? That's absurd. I know almost every filmmaking choice of this show is unfair to Sam and I hate that too, but still we audiences can see things from various angles and think for ourselves. And sometimes you need to see the story as a story, not something to take sides.

Supernatural S3E16 No Rest for the Wicked Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Sam lost his entire family at the end of season 3. He was full of remorse, and to make up for that he was literally following his family's footsteps. Sam became obsessed with revenge like John did after Mary died. Season 4 was about that vicious cycle, the tragedy of it. Dean sold his soul for Sam just like John did for him. Sam tried to be more like his dad and big brother and did what they taught him. And Sam's relapse was a part of the addiction cycle. But Dean locking up Sam in the panic room changed nothing, the final seal was broken after all. So Lucifer gets out, and the oldest family drama is about to start all over again. It wasn't about who was right or wrong. It was about the circle, a never ending story. The next season was about restoring trust in each other and seeking redemption, and Sam eventually broke the chain by sacrificing himself. That's what makes Swan Song the tragic ending of all time. (though it all comes back as the show keeps going on... but what is spn without The Codependency™)

So, yeah, it's beyond me how some people can't see the reason behind Sam's choices in this season cause the context was SO clear. If you watch the show, you can see how much Sam and Dean affect each other and how much both are affected by John in different ways. And it's natural because they are family. We are who we are because of everyone and everything that has happened in our lives, and same goes for every fictional character, including Sam. It's just as simple as that. Sam was just trying to live by his brother's will while battling with grief and loss. He had to keep on fighting without Dean. And the reason why Dean wasn't with him was because Dean sold his soul to save Sam and went to hell for it. It not only made Sam the sole survivor of the family but also made the very being of him their entire legacy. Starting with Mary making a deal with Azazel, every choice ever made in this family is what brought him there. As I said earlier, it's the cycle. And a consequence. In short, if it is a sin, I think it’s everyone’s.

Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Sam and Dean's fate to be vessels? Their destiny? It doesn't matter in the end. This show was always about fate AND free will. Free will was always there. You always have choices. Sam was the one who believed that most desperately so he became the one who broke the cycle. Even though it was only the last page, he ripped out the written fate anyway and wrote the ending himself. YES HE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER. And after everything he did for the world, the story made him suffer eternal agony with the Devil because he is also a tragic hero figure. (SIGH literally the character of all time)

You can see this all only as an observer, as an audience. For Sam, the only thing he could do at the moment was just find the person to blame―in this case, it's a demon named Lilith― and get revenge. And he was lost somewhere along the road, he became an addict because he couldn't do anything about his loved ones dying, but when he drinks the demon blood it gives him power and a sense of control. (aaaaaand I still don't get why writers wrote this as some kind of diabolical desire in 4x18. I get it sammy what the fuck would chuck know about helplessness)

You can say you wouldn't suck up the demon blood, that's fine, but this story was written in this way, and if Sam didn't do that, the story couldn't go forward. Why? Because he is the main character. (It always had to be you, Sammy!) And reminds you that if you want to watch a show with multiple seasons, you have to remember what happened before to understand what’s going on now. So please don't make up things in your head, just go back to where it all started. There are contexts in everything. Everyone is a consequence of each other, but we don't have to be bound to that fact. We have choices: to change, to make things better. That's why we should be kind to each other, and for that, I love and respect Sam so much cause he didn't let his traumas define him and always tried to be a better person. ♡

I'm not done yet!!! see also this:

Supernatural S3E04 Sin City Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Dean worried when Sam killed a demon with the Colt to save him cause it also killed a person who was being possessed, and it was 'cold'. But then when he finds out about the demon blood, he is so mad that he doesn't even care about the fact Sam was saving possession victims and just screaming in Sam's face "Use the knife!". It's so??? What is the logic here? This just proves it's always been about his feelings, not really about saving people. Is that an evil thing? No, I don’t think so. Dean is just a human, he can’t control what he feels. But if you use this to beat up Sam, I'll go feral then. Cause Sam is a human too.

And look at Ruby's masterful manipulation skill. Makes Sam feel guilty about everything, and comes back with what he needs when no one's left around him. She really was the best of those sons of bitches.

Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Seriously, what was Sam supposed to do? Everyone on this show didn't even bother to understand Sam and just decided everything he ever did was fundamentally wrong. Sam was using his own body to change the things outside of him, cause there is nothing he can do about the fact of his body, the blood in it. In life, there are things we can change and we can't. We have to live with that non-negotiable fact for our whole life. Sam learned this most painful way... And one thing about Sam is that he never let the unchangeable things make him give up the things he can change. It's not always a good thing though, cause Sam in s4 was very self-destructive. He was obsessive, and that is one of his problems. Sam is so stubborn and doesn't give up on anything easily. Actually this problem could be solved after s7 cause he tried to move on, but s8 happened… so it got worse, kept getting worse, and look what happened in s10. The most heartbreaking domino effect, I'd say...

Supernatural S5E03 Free to Be You and Me Supernatural S5E06 I Believe the Children Are Our Future

Anyways, back to the point. Unfortunately, Sam started the apocalypse. And what did he do after that? When the whole world tried to hunt him down, the devil wanted to crawl inside him, and an angel called him an abomination? He didn't give up there to remain that abomination. He didn’t surrender. Instead, Sam begged for a second chance. He wanted to atone, wanted redemption. He still believed in others even though he lost trust in himself. He believed there was still something he could do about it. Even when he was possessed by Lucifer, he fought till the end to save his brother and the world. And he did it. He was a fucking hero at that moment, sadly a tragic one too. But the important thing is: Sam Winchester represents hope. (I think Swan Song was a perfect ending as a tragedy. This show got weaker and weaker after s5 which kinda ruined the perfection, but I'm also so glad the show continued cause this message fits more hopefully in Carry On. I needed to see Sam rewarded with something better than eternal agony after all those additional tortures of 10 more seasons.)

One last thing, you know what's funny about Metamorphosis? Dean had nothing to say about the fact Sam saved more people than when they were hunting together, so he just went "That what Ruby wants you to think?" Dude what was going on in your mind. like that was what Ruby intended, he was right about that only by chance, but I still find it funny that Dean said that at this exact moment. And he does this a lot, attacking the messenger when he can't refute the message. He didn't have any rational reasons like Sam, he just didn't like it and that's all(and honestly I think this can be an actual reason too cause there's a history behind it which I talked about it here. I wish Dean had just talked to Sam and had a real conversation. but he never talks about his feelings, that's what Dean Winchester does. so… yep not gonna happen. also, if the brothers have a healthy relationship, that is not supernatural lol), so he brought up Angels and evoked Sam's religious guilt. And the Angels in question also turned out to be manipulative assholes later. Everyone makes mistakes, but somehow Sam is always the one who gets most condemned and blamed. Dean, On the other hand, is justified by the narrative so many times even when it is actually his fault. As I said, unfair. This is not even a Dean crit post, I'm just mad at unreasonable people and the way this show works in general.

I swear I was normal before watching this season. Sam's demon blood arc was what made me insanely fall in love with him, so when I found out all those hate for Sam… that really could be my villain origin story but instead I chose to be on tumblr, so yeah I believe love wins<3 ha what a way to end a post. sorry guys

[kareluna8]

I have a Gale in the closet

Well, here you have my baptism in the world of words (WoW?), after years without writing. It is a short story, just over 1000 words. I hope you like it 😊

(The Spanish version is also available. If anyone is interested in the 'original version', please write to me.)

Thanks a lot @senualothbrok for being my wonderful beta reader.

I have a Gale in the closet.

The door is closed, but I can still feel his now-empty puppy-dog eyes, begging me not to turn him off. I can't see him, but I know he's there every time I walk past the door. I get the feeling that the door is going to open at any moment and his hand is going to pop out anxiously, asking for help, like when he came out of that portal at the beginning of the game. But his hand doesn't come out. He doesn't make a sound. There he is, inert, dull, gathering dust.

“What are you doing with that old thing in there?” my friends ask me. “Throw it away, it's taking up space. The new models out there do everything! Mine even gives me a Thai massage every night.  You should try it.”

Gale2024 has long since gone out of fashion. The poor boy had accumulated quite a few bugs during all these years of service. There were hardly any technical premises with parts to repair him. He showed the first symptoms some time ago: he stopped making croquettes. The béchamel recipe program was corrupted and there was no way to restore it. I didn't think it was important. I could live without croquettes and if not, I could always get the frozen ones from the supermarket. But he was still as tender and affectionate as the first day he saw me and recognised me as his TAV (True Amorous Vessel). Many years had passed since that moment.

I had already listened to his lectures on arcane magic a thousand times. I could recite them from memory, word for word, if I put my mind to it. He had always been such a chatterbox. There wasn't a moment when he didn't bring up a topic of conversation. It was a pity when he could no longer keep up to date with the news, with all the  literature, science and technology websites he liked. He would always find some interesting news that he would enthusiastically explain to me, down to the last detail. That was a hard blow for him.

But he didn't give up. He began to pick up the few paper books he could find, and with an archaic OCR programme he managed to read what was written, pitifully. It wasn't perfect, and noticeably slower than downloading GBytes of information directly from the net, but it was something. And it kept him going. Watching him turn the pages of those antique tomes was like looking at a vintage postcard, not without a certain charm. Afterwards, he would share those old stories with me. He looked like a granny. He even put his glasses on the tip of his nose and imitated the worn-out voice of an octogenarian to liven up the peroration. He used to make me laugh.

Now he doesn't say a word.

He was always so attentive and kind. Many people soon got bored of Gales and started to provoke them or even ‘mistreat’ them, as much as you can mistreat a being who feels no pain. Or at least that's what they said. Although I know he did feel it. Many Gales ended up mangled and mutilated in the most varied ways. All to see how far he could take it, what his limit was, what he could do or endure for his TAV. Human beings do not deserve such goodness.

In my defense, I will say that I gave mine a kind ‘life’. Or at least that's what I like to believe. Of course, he also had to put up with my grumpy days and my blue days. But he was always there for me. Patient. Supportive. Listening. Sometimes you don't need much more.

On the other hand, there were many good moments of joy and laughter. We enjoyed the time together as if each day was a new opportunity to celebrate life (or almost ‘life’). There were times when I doubted whether he was really a human person. He was certainly much more ‘human’ than many humans I know. But reality always comes through, like the sword of Damocles, swinging over our head, threatening. Little by little his technology was becoming outdated. New models appeared, with better finishes, with more features. Until they discontinued Gale and stopped updating him.

I didn't care. I didn't need more features. He was already everything to me and more than I could ever hope for. What I needed. What I wanted.

One day, coming home from work, I found him looking out of the window, pensive. He was watching the people passing by, the new models chatting with their humans. He was so absorbed that he didn't hear me approaching. Noticing my presence, hugging him from behind, he turned to me. I had never noticed that expression on him before.

'Are you going to trade me for one of those? I don't see Gales on the streets anymore,’ he said, his eyes glazed over.

'Never.'

I hugged him tight. Well, as tightly as you can hug an android. He responded with his gentle embrace, full of love and fear. He was trembling. I had never seen him like that.

***

My psychologist says it's good for me to write these things down, that it's not good to depend so much on machines, that I have to relate more to humans. The truth is that I miss him a lot.

The day of the disconnection was horrible. Already his deterioration was flagrant. His mobility was erratic, his knees failed him often, and he was falling and hurting himself more. His speech was defective. He could barely focus on the letters in books, making it impossible for him to read. The only thing that remained intact was his unconditional love for me, for his TAV. 

I took him to several technical services and the only option they offered me was a complete formatting of his memory together with the replacement of the personality module. That was to alleviate the software problems.  The hardware ones... that was another story.

'Am I going to die?'

'Androids don't die, my love.´ I said, trying to comfort him with a bitter smile.

Everyone had told me what to do. I knew what I had to do. It was so heartbreaking to see him like that. How he would fall, how he would struggle to get to his feet, how he would crawl. How he would try to chat and lose the thread of the conversation.

There was a little red button on the back of his neck hidden in the root of his hair. The beginning and the end. Something so simple, but so painful at the same time....

I gave him a last hug and, in tears, my hand slid to the back of his neck. At that moment, he looked at me and I saw in his eyes that he was aware of what was about to happen. He tried a plea or a thank you, or both, as the energy left him, leaving that body immobile, rigid, inert.

***

I have a Gale in the closet. Now I'm in it too. A little red button on the back of his neck makes his eyes come alive again. I hug him, and he hugs me back with his sweet embrace. “You are all I could ever want in this life. I want nothing more. I need nothing more. I'll be here with you forever.”