#i don't think i'm at the Final final map but i can feel i'm close. enough to make me so scareds LMFAO

[moe-broey]

HUGE difference between "I never finished Three Houses" (🏘️ wait hold on. Wh. Why is there a Three Houses emoji. That is so specific.

Anyway HUGE difference between "I never finished Three Houses" (the story is probably good but my fuckinh god the calendar based gameplay wants my head on a pike. Missing important events/interactions due to the time based nature wants me DEAD. The general inflexibility when it comes to whatever cast of characters you're stuck with for what run like YEAH you can recruit dif students school arc but. The options still feel soooooo limited and if there's a house of characters you just don't vibe with but that's the run ypu have to do. Fuck your entire life. And then there's the time basedness of it all. The arc basedness of it all. The structure of it all IS DESIGNED VERY SPECIFICALLY to fucking Kill Me. You can't even fuck around and give yourself little side quests. The Fucking Time and Structure.) vs "I haven't finished Engage yet" (I have commitment issues 😔 I don't wanna let go.... 😟 I don't want it to be over 😢😢😭💔💔💔)

[iluvmattsbeard]

where were you? (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

VERY STRONG WARNING: SELF HARM/angst/swearing

(please do not read if you are highly sensitive with this subject.)

preview: you were the new student at school. you kept to yourself which caught Matt's eye. he was determined to figure you out.

a/n: this one hits close to home. if you are struggling with your mental health, know you are not alone. you are here for a reason. these type of emotions are tricky to figure out and no one should have to deal with them all by themselves. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOU THINK. I thank the triplets for bringing me back to life, especially Matt for shining light on the subject and being so genuine.

it was early in the morning at school. you just moved to Boston a few weeks ago. you were suppose to start school right away but you couldn't find the strength to do so. you were dreading being in a new environment and meeting new people. today, you had no choice but to show up. the school was blowing up your grandparents phones asking when you will be coming in. so today, you finally showed up.

you walked into the school's office getting your schedule. "name?" the lady at the front desk asks. "y/n l/n" you spoke out quietly looking around. she nods as she looks through a drawer pulling out a small sheet of paper, also grabbing a map. she hands you them as she speaks, "welcome to our school. enjoy your first day!" she says with a warm smile. you give a weak closed mouth smile as you thank her.

you look at the map as you find your way to your first class. taking small steps as possible still dreading being there. you finally stop in front of the classroom door as you put your hand on the handle gently, taking a small breather before stepping inside.

as soon as you walk in, all eyes land on you. you stand there uncomfortably with your heart racing fast. you took their looks feeling judged already. "hello! you must be y/n. correct?" you nod. "great. nice having you here. you may take a seat anywhere." you try to avoid looking around as you make your way straight to the back, sitting in an empty seat. you sat next to a brown haired boy not really paying attention to his face. "hey" you hear him whisper. you turn to look at him automatically catching his blue eyes. "hi" you whisper back looking away after. "i'm Matt" he says still having his eyes on you. as you don't respond, he continues to speak, "uh... I just wanted to introduce myself since we'll be sitting next to each other for the rest of the quarter. we usually do lots of partner work so, I was just hoping to get to know you so this isn't awkward."

you look at him with a blank stare. you appreciated his effort. "I'm y/n" you respond. he gives a soft smile as he looks at the paper laying on your desk. "can I take a look?" he asks pointing at your schedule. you nod sliding it over to him. "I can help show you around." he offers looking up from the paper and back towards you. you shake your head a bit before speaking, "no it's fine." grabbing your schedule. "i'll figure it out." "well I would like to anyways to make you feel comfortable." he suggests. you knew he wasn't going to stop pushing so you later on agree.

Matt walked with you during every passing period before lunch. he showed you where the bathrooms were, where the library was, and where the cafeteria was before walking you to your next class. the last class before lunch. "that actually helps a lot" you tell him with the same weak smile from earlier. "i'm glad" he says with a smile before walking away. you walk into class as you sit down looking at the clock already wanting the time to go faster.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you were finally home as you stand in front of your bathroom mirror sighing. you looked at yourself for a bit. analyzing your face noticing your heavy eye bags. you suffered from the worst insomnia. every night you felt yourself being so tired. but when you shut your eyes, your mind keeps you awake with thoughts you wish you could avoid.

“y/n?” you hear your grandmother say behind the door as she knocks. you open the door revealing her with a gentle smile. “hi y/n. how was school?” she asks. “it went great.” you reply lying through your teeth. you had no choice but to lie. you didn’t feel the need to throw your negativity onto her. you always kept your own thoughts to yourself. especially around your grandparents. you didn’t want to worry them or push them away. they were all you had since your parents disappeared with no warning a few years ago. that’s when everything went down hill for you.

you had this repetitive thought in your head telling you how much of a disappointment you were that even your own parents couldn’t stay. you slowly lost yourself and your ability to socialize.

when night time came around, you laid in bed in the pitch black dark as you let out a soft sigh shutting your eyes. you were practically begging at this point for a good night’s rest. but you couldn’t. you open your eyes as you get up and walk to the bathroom locking it. you opened the drawer and focus your eye on something you were use to. picking it up and letting out a shaky breath.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

it’s been a few days now since you’ve been at school. every day had you feeling drained. you even still felt like you were being constantly judged even though people’s stares soon disappeared. you still felt the need to be on your toes. it was lunch time. you walked out of class as you see Matt. “hey y/n. you want to join me for lunch?” he asks. you avoid eye contact with him walking as you speak, “i guess” he nods with a smile as he starts talking about how his day has been so far with you just listening.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you and Matt have been talking more at school. you told him where you were before moving to Boston, you shared common interests, and he talked about his brothers a lot. you were slowly getting used to having him around.

as you and Matt sit in class, you both just sat there doing your work. it was pretty silent in class indicating everyone was focused. you were minding your business until one of your classmates accidentally bumped into your table causing your phone to fall onto the ground. you lean down in your chair reaching for your it as the sleeve of your hoodies goes up slightly. Matt also went to reach for your phone but he stopped himself when he catches a glimpse of your slightly raised sleeve.

Matt’s POV

when i almost reached down to pick up y/n’s phone, i can’t help but notice her sleeve going up a bit revealing her wrist covered in red slits. it stopped me in my tracks as i sat there in shock. she didn’t notice at all that i seen. i look away as i continue to do my work, or pretend, having the image stuck on my mind. why would she do that?

End of Matt’s POV

when school finally ends, you walk out the doors as you get stopped by Matt. “hey y/n!” you turn to look at him. “oh hi” you respond. “you said you walk home so, can i give you a ride?” he asks. “no it’s okay. i like to walk.” you reply with a blank stare. Matt has now been eyeing you closely after what happened.

“come on” he says grabbing your hand softly with a slight smile pulling you to where his car is. “Matt seriously it’s no problem” you say. he opens the door for you looking at you before speaking, “get in” you step inside his car thanking him. “well that was nice of him”you thought to yourself.

the car ride was mostly silent as the only sound playing was his music slightly low. you notice he would glance at you from time to time. after a bit, he pulls up in front of your house putting the car in park. “thank you Matt. i really appreciate it.” you spoke looking at him. “anytime y/n.” he responds smiling. before you completely got out the car he stops you. “oh wait.” you turn around to look at him again. “is it okay to ask for your number?” he asks hoping you would say yes. “um.. sure.” you reply hesitantly. you never really gave anybody your number before. but Matt has been the first to ask for your number in the first place. he hands you his phone and you type it in. he thanks you with a smile and you just nod before going inside.

it was later in the night when you found yourself on your bathroom floor with a blank face. you look down and lift up your sleeves as you flinch a bit from the fabric sticking onto your fresh cuts. you looked at it feeling numb. you had your reasons for doing what you did. but nobody seemed to care to ask. you hid it from your grandparents because you didn’t want to crush them. they basically raised you when your parents couldn’t. they didn’t need to feel like they failed because that’s far from the truth. they did everything right. you just truly were stuck in your own head. that’s why the only comfort you were use to was picking up your razor blade.

you sigh as you let your thoughts consume you. you didn’t want to feel this way anymore. you just wanted to escape from your own head. you pick up the blade but hear your phone buzz.

unknown number

‘hey y/n it’s matt’

you pick up your phone as you reply back.

Y/N

‘hi matt’

as soon as you know it, you two were texting all night distracting you before going to bed.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

it’s been quite some time now you’ve been in Boston. even though you had Matt, every single day that goes by got you feeling weaker and weaker. Matt would distract you sometimes. he still had no clue what you’ve been going through. besides the one time he’s seen it but never brought it up.

Matt’s POV

i showed up to school anticipating excitement knowing i get to see y/n. she’s honestly the best person to talk to. it still crosses my mind the thought of her hurting herself but lately i haven’t seen any other signs. but when i arrived to class, she wasn’t there.

Matt

‘where are you?’

i text her but i get no response. i decided to wait and not think much of it until i realized she wasn’t texting back all day.

Matt

‘y/n are you okay?’

‘answer me y/n’

‘why aren’t you at school? why aren’t you replying?’

no response.

when school ends, i decided to get in my car and drive to her house. it was starting to scare me.

End of Matt’s POV

you sat on your bathroom floor with your head leaned against your bath tub, looking at the ceiling. your door wasn’t closed all the way so when Matt walked into your room and saw you in your bathroom, he felt his heart drop. you turned your head as you sat up, “Matt? how’d you get in here?” you ask confused. he walks up to you as he shuts the bathroom door.

“your grandma let me in.” he says. “why weren’t you responding to my texts? what’s wrong?” he asks. you avoid eye contact as you speak, “sorry. just didn’t feel like going.” all he does is stare at you before sitting down in front of you. “talk to me” he says quietly not pulling his eyes away from you. “there’s nothing to talk about?” you say in a confused tone. “clearly there is. i know you don’t like school but you will show up. how come not today?” he questions. “like i said, i didn’t feel like going.” you respond looking at your hands. “are you at least okay?” Matt asks with worry plastered on his face.

“of course i am” you say looking at him with a weak smile. “why wouldn’t i be?” he stays silent as he grabs your hand softly. taking his other hand to raise your sleeve slowly, with him looking at it frozen. you yank your hand away as you get up pulling the sleeve back down.

“what the fuck are you doing?” you ask as you feel yourself heat up. he stands up as well before speaking, “y/n why didn’t you tell me?” “what was there to tell you Matt?” you say in annoyance. “you doing that y/n. why didn’t you just tell me?” he asks with a somber face. “i saw them before in class when you reached for your phone. i never said anything because i didn’t want to pressure you.” “what was i suppose to tell you Matt?!” you say raising your voice. “it’s none of your business or your concern!”

“y/n please talk to me. i’m worried about you.” he says trying to grab your hand but you step back. “don’t touch me! i don’t need you feeling sorry for me.” you tell him. “i care about you. i get you like to keep things to yourself but i’m hear to listen.” he says. you let out a scoff, “this is unbelievable.” you say. “what’s so unbelievable about me wanting to be here for you?” you look at him with your face burning up from rage after his response. “i didn’t ask for you to be here! you should’ve minded your own business.” you exclaim. “i felt like i needed to be here y/n. for you. i don’t want you going through this alone. it pains me to know you just keep quiet.”

“because it’s none of your fucking business Matt! it’s my shit to keep to myself. not for you to hear. it pains you? well how do you think i feel!” you yell out. “y/n please.” he says quietly. “no Matt! i want you gone. no one has ever been here for me before and i sure as hell don’t need anybody now! especially you being here telling me you care when you don’t know shit!”

“yeah i don’t know shit y/n. that’s why i’m here trying to prove to you that i want to be here for you!” he says keeping eye contact. “Matt just get out!” you yell. “i’m not going anywhere y/n.” he says getting close to you trying to hold you but you push your hands against his chest trying to pull away from him, repeatedly screaming out, “get out! get out! GET OUT!” but he doesn’t listen and you eventually give into his hold as you break down crying with your legs giving out. Matt goes down as well holding you as he leans back against the sink cabinet wrapping his arms around you, embracing you in a hug.

he rubs your back softly as you sob in his chest. “i got you y/n. i’m right here for you.” he says reassuringly, resting his chin on your head. “i’m here to listen.” he pulls away as he lifts up your chin looking at the tears roll down your cheeks. he wipes them away and tucks your hair behind your ear. “i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i want the thoughts to go away and i try to put it into words but i just don’t get it.” you say sadly. he holds your hand as he speaks, “i know it can be difficult. i’m not asking you to tell me everything now because i know this is new for you. take all the time you need. but, i will be here. for you.” you look into his eyes as more tears stream down your face from his kind words. “you’ll be okay i promise.” he finishes, wiping your tears away again. you wrap your arms around his neck hugging him as he wraps his around your waist.

you knew you were safe with him. he validated that for you. “where were you when i needed someone the most?” you whisper out. “i could’ve avoided all this.”

“now they’re just going to turn into ugly scars…” you add on. he pulls away from the hug as he lifts up your sleeves. you gulp as he looks at them. he pulls your arms up gently to his face as he leaves soft kisses on your self inflicted wounds.

“don’t say that. when they turn into scars, i will look at them and tell you how incredibly beautiful they are.” he says. “you’re here for a reason y/n. these that will soon turn into scars, will show how you’ll progress to be stronger.”

you smile softly not even remembering the last time you actually let out a real smile. “thank you Matt.” you say. he smiles as he leaves a kiss on your forehead. “don’t thank me. i’ll always be here.” he says leaving the both of you still on the bathroom floor embracing each other.

A/N: i hope you guys enjoyed this Matt imagine. please always spread kindness and positivity!

[skythealmighty]

gang ngl i miss object universe. i should rewatch it again and get way too emotionally attached to Ice Cream and Map

#rocket talk #i made fanart of them with a steven universe song once i'm unwell

(1 note)

🪟 im-not-electric Follow

why does gamey get to be on ii TWICE. who gave him permission

🪟 im-not-electric Follow

thanks for the suggestion @cabtube-truther

📟 knockoff-gameboy Follow

You don't hear PBSB complaining about this...

🪟 im-not-electric Follow

well they're in a show that's super popular

📟 knockoff-gameboy Follow

Yeah, and you're in one that got cancelled

🪟 im-not-electric Follow

shut up you didnt even finish season one

#just one more cameo mephone4 thats all i ask

(316 notes)

anonymous asked: not sure you're gonna want a cameo rn mephone is going Through it

🪟 im-not-electric Follow

hold on im not actually caught up lemme see

🪟 im-not-electric Follow

holy shit

#I TAKE IT BACK

(58 notes)

anonymous asked: omg fan pleaaaase marru me ill do anythinggg ❤❤❤🥵🥵🥵

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

hey @test-tubular just checking was i ever this weird

🧪 test-tubular Follow

Weird? Always. This weird? No.

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

COOL just checking anyway

no please stop sending me these

#fans fantastic asks #this is the least weird anon ask from i think this specific anon #ive blocked them but oh my god #NO!!!

(83 notes)

💥🔃 fans-fantastic-features Follow reblogged 4️⃣ four-therecord

2️⃣ hey-two Follow

Hello everyone!! 👋 Since I've gotten many an ask about my cheesecake recipe from previous TPOT episodes, I've decided to make a longpost and put it here for you all to use!! Feel free to use without credit but credit is still appreciated 😊

Keep reading

4️⃣ four-therecord Follow

i hate you

#so they ARE on here #followed both immediately #how did i not come across them earlier...

(2,613 notes)

💊 the-cringe-one Follow

Recovery across different universes, a scientific theory

(Full post below the cut)

((Thank you to @not-tally-hall for the testimony regarding the S*n!))

Keep reading

😎 the-chad-one Follow

boring 👎👎👎👎

💊 the-cringe-one Follow

Get off my post

⛳ bossy-bot Follow

This is incredibly fascinating and an enjoyable read! There are some points of debate I've brought up in DMs, but otherwise this is a very solid theory. Good job!

💊 the-cringe-one Follow

Thank you, that means a lot!!

#I follow your papers closely so hearing that coming from you is an honor #anyway back to my regularly scheduled nonsense

(13 notes)

🟧 julian-waiting Follow

Bonjour! J'ai découvert ce cite grâce à des vidéos amusantes

Je suis encore en train de m'habiteur à la société et je pense que c'est une bonne façon de me faire des amis! Enchanté de vous recontrer tous 😃

🥖 shut-up-about-boto Follow

bienvenue sur le site de l'enfer ! la plupart des gens ici ne parlent qu'anglais, vous pouvez donc m'envoyer un message si vous voulez parler à quelqu'un en français. je peux également vous montrer des endroits en ligne pour apprendre l'anglais

🟧 julian-waiting Follow

Cela signifierait beaucoup pour moi, merci

🥖 shut-up-about-boto Follow

bien sûr!

🍐 betterthanpearaib Follow

Baguette we all know you're not actually French you don't need to keep pretending 😒...

🥖 shut-up-about-boto Follow

K

(172 notes)

anonymous asked: your iconic quote from episode 10 has unfortunately become a vocal stim for me. please help, i'm suffering

🍿 stevecobseviltwin Follow

Hey? This is the funniest ask anyone's ever sent me. Can we make out behind a Denny's

#my condolences though oh my god 😭

(4 notes)

⚾️ take-me-out-to-theballgame Follow

Guys, this site is easy! Just watch

⚾️ take-me-out-to-theballgame Follow

Based ball? Based on what?

⚾️ take-me-out-to-theballgame Follow

#hey. are you doing okay

No

(42,526 notes)

🍐 betterthanpearaib Follow

Finally watched II! Good show. I want that twink OJ dead why is he like that

☝ i-date-iconic-posts Follow

Date of origin: November 2nd, 2020

🍐 betterthanpearaib Follow

I DIDNT MEAN IT I DIDNT MEAN IT I DIDNT MEAN JT I DIDNT

#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

(26,942 notes)

🎒 liam-plecak Follow

Thanks everyone for the help so far! I'm not too much of a science nerd, unfortunately, @bossy-bot, so I didn't understand everything in the papers you sent me- but they still helped a ton! Especially the coding help. I was a telemarketer, not an IT person...

Now that I know what I'm doing, I have some free time. With some recommendations from @fans-fantastic-features:

If you have any other recommendations, just leave them in the comments. And please go and send help to @fire-cartoon-schtick while you're at it!

[raayllum]

a/n: set after 6x06 and heavily references 6x03 bc they were blessings

Sometime after they stop kissing — alright, they don't really stop, but languid silences, soft giggling, and sweet nothings fill some of the space in between kisses as they curl up together on his bed in the Starscraper — Callum asks, "So, what were you crying about on the Ray of Illumination?"

The sun is rising above the sea of clouds outside their bedroom window, and for a moment he regrets bringing up anything potentially sad, both of them happier than they've been in years, honestly. They have everything they need for her parents, his connection to Aaravos has been severed, the light and truth of her love filling the cracks in his heart, instead, and finally, finally she knows that his heart has always belonged to her. That it always will.

But he's always been curious, and he's always wanted to sooth whatever's troubling her, fix whatever is breaking her heart, and she'd had a good deal to cry over just a couple weeks ago — maybe even something from the last two years apart — and... he wants to know. He wants to help.

And, slowly, he thinks she's getting to a place where she wants him to be able to, where she'll let him.

"Oh, um..." Rayla averts her eyes, fingers tangled with his, but her smile doesn't dim. She sticks her tongue in her cheek. "It's a bit silly, really."

"Still." He uses his free hand to brush his thumb over the curve of her cheek, the blue bend of her marking, where he knows the tears would've fallen.

"Just an old diary written by the captain. Esme something. Stella pushed it open." Rayla scoots a bit closer and Callum lets go of her hand to wrap his arm around her, more than happy to give into her desire to be held; he never feels more at peace than when he's holding her, now more than ever.

The bump of the tip of his nose against hers as a gentle prod. "And?"

Rayla turns her face down, his lips brushing her brow, but he can still tell she's worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. He wants to angle his face down and kiss that worry away, draw her lips to his, but refrains. They have plenty of time, after all. To kiss, and rest, and prepare for their journey. It's close to dawn now, and Callum knows they won't leave till the day after tomorrow at least — they need supplies for the journey to the Nexus, recover from their trials, and to say goodbye to their new friends here.

Finally, Rayla explains, "She was writing during the last days of her life, on that ship I guess. About a man she left behind. Her one true love, Conrad."

"Oh." Callum pulls her further into a hug on instinct, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Just... resonated with me," she nearly sniffles, laughing weakly, but her smile is real and reaches her eyes when he glances down to check. "I'm sure you can imagine why."

"Lots of stuff about what she would've said if she saw him again?"

"Mmhm."

"Think I can relate to that too," he hums, giving her forehead another kiss. "I love you, Rayla," he repeats for what might be the millionth time that day, but he already knows he can never say it enough. He's always known that. "I'm so glad you came back."

She wraps her arms tighter around his torso, cuddling in closer, tension ebbing out of her and face half pressed to his scarf. "I'm so happy you're here, Callum," she sighs warmly.

"Always." He strokes her hair, wondering if she'll fall asleep like this—it always got her a little drowsy in the past—or if she'll let him weave her braid for her one of these days, musing, and then... "The Captain's name wasn't Esmerelda Skall, was it?"

Rayla lifts her head, brow furrowed adorably. "Er, yeah, it was. Why? How do you know that?"

"She was a famous explorer in the Human Kingdoms. Charted out a lot of our maps up north. My Dad—King Harrow—took me on a diplomatic mission once to Del Bar, where she's from, when I was eleven or twelve." There's a warm, content feeling blooming in his chest that he'll get to give her closure on this, too, somehow. "Conrad founded a town near the capitol and served as mayor. He named it after her. He loved her all his life—put a grave marker for her next to his when he died and everything."

Rayla's "Oh" comes out choked and small, but her smile is wide as she blinks back tears. "That's—that's beautiful. I guess he really—"

"—loved her?" Callum finishes, curling two fingers under her chin to lift her face for a moment. Then he brushes away the real tears trickling over, drawing her further into his snug embrace. Her breath is beautifully warm as it fans over his lips before he kisses her, soft and firm. "Yes. I really do."

[spencerified]

Hiii, well, English is not my first language, sorry for that. I'm not a writer, but a big reader, so welcome to the community ^^

I was thinking about a reader who works in BAU, gets kidnapped, and for some reason the su-des was filming, and the reader is forced to confess that she like Spencer, (The whole team saw it).

As if the su-des were playing a game like truth or dare, and ended up reluctantly confessing that, the reader having a lot of confidence. If you read this and do it I would be very grateful, ily^^♡

(Can be fem!reader or g!reader, it doesn't matter, I repeat, if you read it and do it I will thank you for the rest of my life)

hiii!!! first of all thank you so much for trusting me with your request 🫶 this came out a little (a lot) longer than I thought it would but i hope it's still what you expected and that you enjoy it!! any other requests are very welcome ♡ lots of hugs for everyone

✿

"Stop."

You're relieved that your weak attempt, your last resort at trying to get the Unsub to show you mercy, makes him stop in his tracks. You still feel the ghost of the edge of a knife itching against your skin, when it was unclear if he really wanted to hurt you or if it was just an attempt at getting you to break. To get you to spill your most deepest, darkest secrets, the ones hidden within the depths of your heart. 

Hidden even from Spencer, who looks at you from (presumably) miles away, through a sketchy live transmission sent to Garcia. Untraceable, of course. He desperately wishes he could just snap his fingers and make it all go away. Every tear, every ache, every whisper of pain. Wants to build a world where you won’t know suffering ever again.

Hotch's voice when he first trained you for what Penelope called 'The Non-Fun Parts of The Job' resonates in your hazy mind. Be aware your surroundings, he said, and you wonder if he might be disappointed on the other side of the camera haphazardly propped up a few feet in front of you, it's red light mocking you with each blink.

"Why are you doing this?" You say, emitting now only a pitiful vestige of your voice which is usually never afraid to speak on anything. It seems amusing to him because seconds later, a cheshire grin blossoms in his face, causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand. 

"Oh, you have no idea who I am, do you?" He says. You've never thought a person could inflict so much fear with only a look and a few words. "I don't remember you either, so no hard feelings. But the BAU has... humiliated me. Took everything I love away from me. My family, my job, my friends..." His voice grows low to the point that if you weren't so on edge, you would have to strain your ears to hear him. "They may think getting away for years feels like a reward to me, but they don't live what I live. 

Watching the TV waiting for the next time the BAU finally remembers me over the rest of the cases they have to push away to the… dusty corners of their file room because of their incompetency and decides to spread my picture all over the news once again... it's no way to live." 

The man's voice is so calm you constantly wait for the other shoe to drop. Like when you're so scared on a rollercoaster and your only option is to close your eyes and wait for the inevitable drop. It doesn't come. It seems like years of inflicting pain on others, and then years of hiding away from the consequences are an upstanding process on how to numb a person.

Spencer sees it too. He sees that this Unsub just won't lose control, and that scares him. Because someone this put together – in a rather bizarre way, wouldn't even bat an eye were he to decide on hurting you. And Spencer would have to watch it all, powerless, scribbling over and over again over his wide map spread out on the conference room's table. 

"I'm sorry..." You lie through your teeth. "That you have to live that way."

Fake empathy towards him, Hotch echoes on your head again. You must be reliving his instructions in your head as a way to keep your cool. You bite your lip so hard you fear it might bleed when you realize you're doing it. He's delusional, you reason. He thinks the BAU wanting to catch him for murdering at least 7 couples in public parks is somehow a way to wrong him. 

"Well, thank you," he says, a bitter tone bleeding into his words. "But it's not enough. Luckily for you, you know just what to do that will be." 

"I don't have any secrets," you confess. Outside of the BAU, you don't have a very interesting life. Go home, say hi to the neighbors in your building, sometimes smile at someone while shopping groceries. No burning, forbidden love affair – mostly because the only candidate you want is endearingly oblivious –, no superhero side quests that would make for an interesting conversation at lunch break with your coworkers. No skeletons in your closet, no secret vices or scandalous secrets that would obliterate your pristine reputation amongst your coworkers. Not even one involving the most important one of them. Of course not. 

"I'm sure you do. Everyone does," he circles your chair. You want to sob when you lose sight of him and feel his presence looming on the back of the chair. Not knowing when your life could potentially be taken away from you is jarring. 

"I don't," you say. You don't need to use the word 'please' for him to know that you're begging for your life. "I really don't." 

Pull yourself together, you think. This is not how a BAU agent must react when faced with a threat. But then again, you've only been here for less than a year, and maybe you just don't have it in you to keep your cool the way the rest of your team would. You take a harsh deep breath. 

Spencer has a rather uncanny ability to tune the world out. When he's engrossed in his job, his books, his facts, it's easy to lose himself on them. Specially when the only person who usually listens to him when he externalizes them is away. 

Not away, he thinks. That makes it seem like you're taking a vacation. A small voice in the back of his head wonders where would you go if you were given the chance to. Then, he remembers he might never find out if he doesn't figure this out soon. The case has the team's complete and utter attention, and he knows these are some of the best minds in the Bureau. But he still feels like it's his responsibility to figure it out; he can't help but think that it's what it's expected of him. He wonders if that expectation stems from being a prodigy, or because he's so close to you that it only makes sense it would be him. 

He feels a rush flowing through his veins when he feels like he's close to figuring it out. Then, he's harshly brought back to the reality where he hogs the conference room's table with his map and the team scatters over the rest of the room, working on who-knows-what, by a series of worrying hurried breaths of yours. 

"Okay, okay!" You say, when he roughly yanks you by the hair to keep you still. The knife you thought was previously discarded hovers over your ear. 

"One clean slash, and you'll be out like a light."

You don't find it in yourself to want to test the veracity of that theory out. 

So you realize your only shot at getting out of here might be giving him what he wants. You can't stall anymore, and one side of your brain tells you that it's your team, they'll get here in time, and the other asks itself if that might be a thing that just happens in unrealistic crime shows. 

"I..." You start. You wonder if Spencer is watching this. You would rather have every agent in the FBI hear this, all 35,000 of them, instead of him. You whimper when the knife inches closer to your skin. You can't die. Not here. Is keeping your perception of dignity worth losing your life? "I like my coworker." 

It doesn't satisfy the Unsub. "Which one?" 

You want to refuse to answer, to curl into a ball and cry until you recover the false sense of confidence you walk around with that has now been shattered. You'll get it back, eventually. Not if you die. So you toughen it up, and breathe deep. "Spencer." 

It sounds so stupid. A mere speck in the grand scheme of things, of problems and situations anyone would expect an FBI agent to have. But it's the hardest thing you've ever had to say.

And it's the hardest thing he's ever had to hear. If it were in any other situation, he wouldn't have put it past him to jump in glee. You, with your head always held high, never one to shy away from showing who you were to the world, with your gentle soul that lured him in even when he tried to keep his heart safe from rejection... You liked him. But that's not his focus right now. Even if every single train of thought in his brain has come to a catastrophic halt, he has to focus, because he can't take one more second of seeing you trying to keep calm with a knife to your throat. 

A picture of Hannah Davis, one of the victims from the original case, hung up on the wall behind you ends up giving the Unsub's whole act away. Still, it doesn't make a lot of sense for Hannah to have hung up a picture of herself in her own house, so the team splits to cover both the boyfriend's house and Hannah's. 

It's just a precautionary measure. Spencer knows exactly where you are.

"Oh, Dr. Reid. Idiots interrogated me about once or twice as a witness and he was a real boom with the ladies at the precinct back then. Let me tell you, if I had his charm, I wouldn't have had to resort to killing couples to get off." 

The Unsub lets go of your hair with no warning and your head hangs down as if you were a rag doll. You find it in yourself to hum uninterestedly at his sick attempt of joking. 

You don't think you've ever felt your heart beating as hard as it is right now. And when you tune out the sound of the man talking and rambling about God knows what, you realize that the thumping you hear in your ears isn't your heart. That maybe the creaking on the stairs isn't a product of your delirious mind conjuring up a sequence where you magically get saved from the bad guy.

You sigh when the man behind you yanks you back again. This time, you feel the need to put on a facade. Make it look like you’ve come to terms with it; if this is how you go, then so be it. The knife on your throat makes your heart rate pick back up, but you don't whimper. You wonder if you're trying to keep it together for yourself or because you are ashamed of the image your team will have of you after this if you don't.  

You hear Morgan kick the door down. Usually, you're on the other side of this. You help talk an Unsub down, and then make fun of Morgan after for kicking the door instead of opening it like a civilized FBI agent. Talking them down doesn't always work. Sometimes, you end up with another casualty added to the case. In the worst outcome, you end up with two more. You're not as unafraid as you thought. Please, God, you think. This cannot be the end. 

Morgan screaming at the Unsub to put the knife down falls in deaf ears. It's only white noise to you now, and maybe that stems from the fact that you have been held hostage for what felt like days with no food, no water, no sun, and you feel so close to it being over. Soon, you'll be on a hospital bed, eating food that only the thought of makes you feel nauseated but even that is better than this. Maybe Spencer will sneak you a treat. Or maybe that's wishful thinking. 

As you're dwelling on what the consequences of him potentially hearing your confession might be, you hear a gun go off. You don't even react when the pressure exerted on the right side of your neck, the weight of the arm holding you in place suddenly fades away as your head falls forward. 

You hear the thud of a body hit the ground. Maybe we can still be friends, you try to reason. Spencer drops his smoking gun to a side as Morgan tries to untie your hands behind your back. Maybe he'll reciprocate, or is that too much of a delusion to have even in your incoherent state? Spencer holds you in his arms when you have nothing pushing you back against the chair anymore. 

"I'm sorry," you sob into his shoulder, not an ounce of strength remaining in your body. You were not made for this. Not made for withstanding this kind of torment. If you mean the torment of being kidnapped, or the torment that awaits you once you're not hysterically sobbing in front of the man you're not ready to admit you love, you're not sure. "I'm so sorry." 

"Hey," he says, tenderly. You don't know how much time it's gone by since the last time you saw him. The only thing you know is that this kind of gentleness is now unfamiliar after harsh hands engraved themselves all over you. "Hey, it's okay. What are you sorry for?" 

"I'm sorry," you say, worn out, the words echoing around your head like a DVD screensaver. You then register his question. "For saying that." 

You don't specify what. It's not necessary; it never has been with Spencer. Somehow, you both know exactly what the other means, with just a glance, a brush of an arm when somehow you find yourself trapped in his orbit once again. 

"It's alright," is it? Part of him wonders if being with you might have become even more unattainable now than it was before. If you'll push him away because the memory of the circumstances of your confession is too painful to bear. His hand hovers in the air before he finds a moment where he feels like you won't get up and run away from him if he touches you. You shudder, but ultimately stay right where you are. "Don't cry. You're okay." 

Are we okay? You have to ask. But maybe right now is not the moment. Maybe right now all you want is to be held before everything goes down the drain. You've hit rock bottom, and everyone probably sees it too. Spencer just wishes you find it in your heart to let him be the one to help you out of there. You don't need to yell for help if you have him – the most minuscule mutter of your burdens will be enough to have him snapping into action. He knows what it's like to give every sign that you could ever think of and still have them ignored. He isn't about to let you go through that. 

"We're going to go home now, yeah?" You nod. When you come to it, your fingers ache from holding onto his shirt so hard you want to apologize to him in case you had hurt him. You don't find the words. The rise and fall of his chest had lulled you into the deepest, calmest sleep you have managed to get in a while, even before the kidnapping happened at all, and in this moment, you almost swear that it'll all be okay. 

When you wake up, there's a steady hold in your hand as the ambulance rocks back and forth. 

"God, they need to get that street fixed," you say. You don't recognize your voice, the rasp in your throat being the only thing to confirm that it is indeed you speaking. It takes you a moment to realize that the hand that holds yours firmly is Spencer's. 

You'd be lying if you said you weren't scared to look at him. What would his expression be like? Disgust? Perhaps Morgan made him ride with you until they got to the ambulance. Perhaps he offered to do so because he wanted to do something nice for you before he completely tore your heart to shreds by saying he doesn't like you back. Perhaps-

"We're almost there." The way his voice manages to shut every deprecating thought in your head should be studied. As a reflex, you turn your head to look at him. You wish you hadn't, because the way he looks at you like you're a masterpiece – a rather flawed one, even if he doesn't think so, isn't helping the ache in your chest. Your first thought is that it's awe, but then you think you might want to get that get that checked out when you get to the hospital. 

You barely notice his hand shifting around yours, until it holds your wrist, his thumb pressed softly but firm against your pulse point. He can probably feel the way your heart quickens when he leans in to take a look at your face. 

"Does the light hurt your eyes?" You nod, sluggishly. He turns over to look at the paramedic who sits next to you. You feel a little bit of relief at the fact that no one's hovering over you. It means you're okay. It's all minor. And mostly psychological. Spencer starts listing studies and tests they apparently need to run on you, and while you love the way he rambles, you don't think you can keep up with him without getting a stroke in the process right now.

You doze off again. God, you needed that. You hadn't closed your eyes for more than a couple of seconds during all of your stay in that house. Stay. You don't know what else to call it. 

Emily stayed with you while they checked you out and in her words, it was like you were moving on autopilot. It was unnerving, but the doctors had informed her that there was nothing wrong besides a couple of nasty bruises you would have to spend extra concealer on. 

Spencer offered to stay overnight. One can only imagine how unsettling it was for him to lift his head from his book to see you sitting up like a spring at 2:45 am. 

"Hi," he says, his voice a hushed breath as he sits on the edge of your bed, smiling awkwardly at you. There's no one else in the room, but it's like if any of you speaks louder than a whisper, the bubble you're in will burst. Your chest heaves with hurried breaths, and you rub your eyes.

"Hey." You're already dreading this conversation. Is there any way to go back to before you were kidnapped and forced to confess you're in love with your best friend/coworker? Anyhow, you don't want to stay in the dark anymore and hurry to speak directly to the point. "I don't want things to be weird between us." 

"We haven't even talked for a minute, what do you mean?" 

You let out a short, humorless laugh, which could be easily just interpreted as a hum. You scramble over the clutter that is your mind right now to find a topic that will help you evade the awkwardness. "... Why are you still awake?" 

He didn't expect you to ask that, if the way his gaze drifts to the side is anything to go by. 

"The book was very... interesting, to say the least," he blatantly lies. You don't know if he's a bad liar or if you're just an expert in the Spencer Reid sciences. 

"I'm sure it was." 

You don't speak for a minute. A minute and 33 seconds, he counts, and you're heading strong for a second one when his voice breaks the uncomfortable atmosphere. 

"Listen, I..." 

"I know you heard it." Everyone probably did. And it'll be less humiliating if you act like you don't wish you could just crawl out of your skin and hide. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to die." 

"I'm glad you said it." 

You don't know if he's glad you said it because otherwise you would have probably bled out before they even got to the house or because the fog that used to sit atop of whatever weird tension you both seemed to develop whenever you were the last ones in the conference room, paired to interview a witness, or sharing the big couch on the jet, is finally cleared up. 

You can't lie and say you're not relieved you did, too.

"I'm glad too," you say, mostly to yourself. Where do you go from here? Spencer knows a lot of things, none of which seem useful at the moment. He's almost tempted to bring Morgan in for moral support; otherwise, he's about to perform the worst ridicule he's ever had the pleasure to star in. 

You wait for him to speak. He doesn't, and instead stares at the bedsheets that look like their sole existence is an offense by the way his brow creases. 

"You look like something's bothering you," you say, tentatively testing the waters. Can you already joke with him, or is it too soon to pretend like everything's okay? "Is it not a nice pattern?" 

He smiles for a split second. You didn't realize the air had been lacking from your lungs until this very second. "The pattern is geometrically off. If you look at it closely, you'll see that the diamonds aren't quite aligned properly. It seems minor, yet it's still evident enough to unconsciously make the pattern less appealing to the eyes. I suppose that's what you get with mass-produced and machine-made products nowadays."

You smile warmly at him. Only then it's that your chest tightens as the realization of just how much you missed just hearing him talk about things that would have never even crossed your mind in a thousand years, dawns upon you.

"Sorry. I forgot my magnifying glass at home." 

"I see you didn't left the wit back there." You smile at him. It feels foreign. Just a second ago you were avoiding looking at him like the mere action of doing so would make you burst into flames on the spot. Your smile is like fuel for the burning courage consuming his insides as he opens his mouth again. "I... I think- No, sorry. I mean, I am certain that..." Okay, Spencer. Great way to start. He tries to gather his thoughts, which proves to be a much harder challenge when they're all a jumbled mess. 

"You like your coworker too?" 

"Yeah," he says. His lips curl into a warm, genuine smile that does wonders at speaking of the deep affection that harbors in the depths of his soul. One only reserved for you. He's quick to repress it because he doesn't want to seem stupid. 

You don't let him throw you off your feet. "Dr. Reid, can you wait until I don't feel and look like a bus just ran over me to confess your unconditional and undying love for me?" 

He wouldn't have expected a different answer from you. The confidence you wear on the outside is a mask for the way he makes you melt like a bar of chocolate in warm weather on the inside. You don't need him to answer to that. He touches your hair, and you turn to look at the bag of skittles placed on the bedside table, and you know he'll gladly wait until you don't feel like you've been stripped of all your defenses. Until you feel like yourself again. 

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

I'll Show You Just How Sad I Am

a raymond smith x reader quick little blurb, just 1k words

there's mentions of smut in this so read at your own risk <33 who knows, maybe raymond will make a more regular occurrence on my blog over the next few weeks

here's my masterlist in case you want to check out my other works

"Should be the door to your left, honey."

Your voice is sweet in his ear, a pleasant distraction from the run-down building Mickey had sent him off to. It's smelly and dirty and even though he knows he should most likely feel pity, he's still just as disgusted. He'd be with you in a heartbeat if he could, safe and clean in the comfort of your home.

"Mickey should've sent a cleaning lady", he grunts as he knocks at the door, your chuckle almost making up for the very truthful, thinly veiled anger behind his words.

"Mickey wanted you because you're the best", you recite - you've told him often enough by now that it really is reciting. "And because he trusts you to keep this clean."

Which is easier said than done.

Twenty minutes later, the whole thing's anything but clean.

Sure, he'd very much accomplished bringing Laura home - but he'd also left a dead teenager in a puddle of blood about two stories down from where he should've been sitting.

"Left, left!", you call into the mic. Even though you're far from panicking, you're still much too loud, your voice flowing from his earpiece and stinging his brain.

"I'm trying, darling", he grunts back, breathless and panting as he pushes on, one foot in front of the other on the pavement of some random South London streets.

"I know, I know", you sigh. He isn't sure whether he's actually hearing you chew on your lip or imagining it, but he doesn't really have the capacity to think too much about it at the moment. "He's right in front of you. You've got him, Ray."

Yeah... The only problem is that what you must be seeing as a moving, flashing dot on a digital map, he's seeing as a bunch of teenagers trying to look intimidating. Probably feeling intimidating too. God, this is exactly why he didn't want the job. He isn't made for the fucking low-classed youth.

"You've seen enough?", that bastard of a boy spits at him. "Now I've got backup."

Raymond steadies his hands on his thighs and takes a deep breath in.

"You couldn't back up a phone, you cunt", he rasps, his erratic heartbeat slowly starting to calm back down.

"Raymond", you scold. "That's a child."

"That's a bastard", he mutters, before he finally straightens and tries his best at a somewhat mannered bargain. He's really only here for the fucking phone. He needs those pictures, then he's gone. He doesn't want to leave more unnecessary corpses to take care of.

So he offers them money. Which is something that they should definitely take, just judging by how they look. Plus a visit to a very good psychiatrist. But they don't. It's the same fucking bastard who's taken the pictures in the first case and got him into this mess that refuses - and in such a really stupid way, too: "How 'bout you give us that bag and be gone anyway?" - god, even you let out a choked up laugh at that, your breath carrying through the mic and into Ray's earpiece.

He drops his chin to his chest and shakes his head. What a fucking bunch of idiots. Goddamn it. He can feel his blood boil, hot and hotter.

"It's bait", you mutter, your voice low. "Calm down, love. You've got a machine gun. Use it."

Yeah, fucking hell, it's bait, he knows that. It doesn't change the way he's feeling. But your voice in his ear at least brings him back down to reality.

"Right", he grunts, then he swipes his coat to the side, closes his hand around the grip of the gun and steadies his fingertips against the trigger. He pulls it out in one swift motion, points it at the sky and shoots. For a good three seconds longer than necessary.

"Just like that", you breathe, your grin dripping down onto your voice and melting into his ear like honey. You've really got to stop that, he actually loses his focus for half a moment there and in his line of work, next time that means sure death.

The entire bunch of teenage boys flees - as expected - and in less than a minute, Raymond has the phone pressed into his palm.

"God, sometimes I really hate that I'm not there", you sigh, something in the background ruffling, probably as you shift into a more comfortable position on your chair. "Kinda wish I could've seen you."

"Run after a little cunt like that? You didn't miss anything, darling", he says, turning his head left and right before he strides back towards the car, his steps long and purposeful.

"Turn the corner here", you mutter, your voice taking on that specific tone that tells him there's a lazy grin licking at your lips. He can just imagine how you're looking (especially now that he has the time and freedom of mind for it) - one foot propped up on those bar stools that you'd bought for the kitchen, your equipment organised on the table top in front of you, his shirt hanging from your shoulders and pooling in your lap, your head tilted back and your eyes half-closed as you talk to him.

"I don't mean the little idiot", you go on, undeterred even as he narrowly avoids a trash can. Fuck, you really distract him too much. "I'm talking about you. God, you sounded so hot I wanted to jump at you. Actually scratch that, I still do."

He lets out a chuckle as he spots the car, his steps slowing. He should hurry up, he knows that. But he's got you in his ear, talking in that sweet voice of yours about just how much he affects you. He can't pass up on that.

"You're a little fuckin' minx, darling", he mutters with a grin, throwing a glance over his shoulder to check if there's any possibility he could be overheard. He doesn't necessarily feel like making your conversation public, even as you hum into the microphone.

"Yeah, but yours", you mumble. It sounds like you're almost proud of that. "Here's an idea, love: Get back home before I finish my shower and I'll show you just how sad I am that I couldn't watch you."

[shhhsecretsideblog]

Me and the guy in the aisle seat shift out of our places as you waddle down the cramped airplane walkway. Your T-shirt and shorts leave little to be imagined in your near-due state but it was much better than being hot.

It was our final vacation before baby hopefully comes next week. It was a great time on the beach but the plane ride is leaving a sour note.

Unfortunately, we couldn't get the asshole in the aisle seat to swap seats, a pair in front of us are constantly leaning back in their chairs, yhe air conditioning doesn't look to be functioning and it seems like every other minute we hit a bout of turbulence.

You slowly sit down in your window seat after making the man stifle an irritated groan. I lean back to go to sleep but I feel you grasp my thigh and lean up to my ear.

"Don't..." You breathe suddenly. "Don't freak out...I think my water broke in the bathroom."

It's hard not to not jump out of my seat. I look straight down at your bump sitting between your thighs. A vague shade of brown covered your inner thighs.

"We should tell some-"

"No! I can hold for the rest of the flight," you look down at your tensed bump. "I'll-I'll tell you if it becomes to much..."

"I can last...I think I can last," you whisper through tight lips, seemingly to yourself.

I can't argue with you, it's your body and you know best. I try to relax back in my seat but out of the corner of my eye I see a fresh trail of fluid trail out of your shorts and down your thigh. Anxiety management isn't one of my strong suits.

Just seven hours till we land.

(P.s. I'm glad you seem to be enjoying these)

I can make it. I can make it. I said to myself over and over. A mantra. A promise. A desperate and hopeful plea.

Earlier that day I hadn’t given any thought to the odd cramps that had tightened across my belly as we packed up our suitcase, or to the spasms shooting up my spine as we waited in line for security scans before entering departures. I’d thought the building pressure between my hips was just because of the change in altitude or the baby pressing on my bladder. Yes people warned us about going away so close to the due date, but neither of us really expected the baby to arrive early, and especially not on the plane. No, this baby was not going to be born on a plane! I was grateful my waters had broken in the bathroom at least, it gave me an opportunity to clean myself up before returning to my seat. Not that it made any difference, the constant leaking between my legs was already dampening the cushion.

Without my waters the contractions struck with more vigour and bite. After yet another wave of twisting pain rippling my belly, I pressed the button on the tv screen embedded in the seat in front bringing up the map of our journey and the estimated time of arrival - 5hrs 57mins. I exhaled heavily, so far so good. Every time a contraction struck I would simply breathe my way through it, my hand softly rubbing at the tightness squeezing my belly. I could feel your eyes on me, watching me like a hawk. I knew you liked to sleep on planes but there was no way that was happening now. Trying to stay calm and still I breathed slowly, deeply, steadily. I can make it.

~•~

I don’t know when you started holding my hand through each wave of pain but I clung onto it like a lifeline. My body temperature was rising and I was shifting awkwardly in my seat; the broken air conditioning and the cramped aeroplane seats were making me feel trapped.

“Babe… do we need to maybe tell the air stewards-”

“No!….. hooooo…. It’s fine it’s just-hooooo…. they’re getting a little bit stronger n-now that’s all. But I’m fine. Really…” I breathed heavily, trying to reassure us both right now.

“But they’re getting closer together.” You worried.

“I know that.” I snapped at you under my breath, but when the contraction released me my anger disappeared and I saw the look on your face. “I’m sorry darling. I know you’re only looking out for us. But I’m fine, we’re going to make it. Four and a half hours to go. Babies aren’t born that quickly. We’ll be fine.”

I could tell by your expression that you did not feel as confident, and to be honest, neither did I. But there was no use in both of us panicking. And what could they even do? We were above water for the majority of our flight, there was nowhere for the plane to land anyway. The next contraction struck and I hissed through my teeth. I twisted in my seat so I faced the window, one leg folded beneath my large and contracting belly, the other firmly on the floor. “C-can you rub my back p-please?” I grit over one shoulder towards you and place my palms against the cream plastic of the aeroplane interior.

Although the pressure of your hands on my back and hips felt wonderful, it barely touched the side of the roaring pain splitting my pelvis in two. I curled over my bump as much as I could in the tight space and breathed through it as much as I could. But the pressure, the pressure was killing me. My hips were open in this position, a move driven purely by instinct, and I could feel the baby’s head deep and low and pressing even further down. I clamped my mouth shut tight as my body rocked forward and backward slightly, your hands rubbing up and down my lower back and pressing into the back of my hips under the waistband of my shorts. I took a long, deep exhale as the pain peaked and when I released it I found my body bearing down at the end of the breath. My heart froze at the possibility this baby wasn’t going to wait til we landed. I breathed again, slowly, purposely, and tried to ignore any call from my body to push… but when I got to the end of the breath every muscle in my womb was squeezing forcefully downwards and I could feel the baby sink lower and lower.

“Oh babe…” I whispered. “I think I’m pushing?!”

“What?! No, you can’t be pushing. We still have 3 more hours to go!”

Dearest Anon, these are perfect! Thank you so much! All the different scenarios you’ve given me are just…. 👌 this one might be my fav, if you wanna continue it in the next ask… 👀

[jmagnabo92]

Sirius Vs Remus last interaction with Harry in POA

With all this conversation about who's the better parent, the better guide to Harry, I'd like to address the LAST MOMENT in POA with Sirius vs Remus and WHY Harry ends up closer to Sirius and it has NOTHING to do with his 'status' as godfather and everything to do with their behavior directly after Harry discovers their relationship to his father.

Long Post under the cut.

First, Remus' last moment with Harry:

A shadow fell across them and they looked up to see a very bleary-eyed Hagrid, mopping his sweaty face with one of his tablecloth-sized handkerchiefs and beaming down at them. "Know I shouldn' feel happy, after wha' happened las' night," he said. "I mean, Black escapin' again, an, everythin' -- but guess what?" "What?" they said, pretending to look curious. "Beaky! He escaped! He's free! Bin celebratin' all night!" "That's wonderful!" said Hermione, giving Ron a reproving look because he looked as though he was close to laughing. "Yeah. . . can't've tied him up properly," said Hagrid, gazing happily out over the grounds. "I was worried this mornin', mind. . . thought he mighta met Professor Lupin on the grounds, but Lupin says he never ate anythin' las' night. . . . " "What?" said Harry quickly. "Blimey, haven' yeh heard?" said Hagrid, his smile fading a little. He lowered his voice, even though there was nobody in sight. "Er -- Snape told all the Slytherins this mornin'. . . . Thought everyone'd know by now. . . Professor Lupin's a werewolf, see. An' he was loose on the grounds las' night. . . . He's packin' now, o' course. " "He's packing?" said Harry, alarmed. "Why?" "Leavin', isn' he?" said Hagrid, looking surprised that Harry had to ask. "Resigned firs' thing this mornin'. Says he can't risk it happenin again."

Let's stop here - I included this part because it tells us something EXTREMEMLY important - Remus was going to LEAVE without even talking to Harry. He had NO intention of talking to Harry or explaining what happened. He had NO intention of following up on their relationship and build on it - he was just going to leave after ALL that.

Harry scrambled to his feet. "I'm going to see him," he said to Ron and Hermione. "But if he's resigned --" "¨C doesn't sound like there's anything we can do --" "I don't care. I still want to see him. I'll meet you back here."

This tells us that Harry wanted a relationship with Remus, and expected to have one. Only for Remus to disappoint him.

Lupin's office door was open. He had already packed most of his things. The Grindylow's empty tank stood next to his battered old suitcase, which was open and nearly full. Lupin was bending over something on his desk and looked up only when Harry knocked on the door. "I saw you coming," said Lupin, smiling. He pointed to the parchment he had been poring over. It was the Marauder's Map. "I just saw Hagrid," said Harry. "And he said you'd resigned. It's not true, is it?" "I'm afraid it is," said Lupin. He started opening his desk drawers and taking out the contents.

Here we have proof that Remus knows that HARRY would reach out to him - yet, he doesn't reciprocate. He sees Harry's upset about it and he just ... keeps packing. Using the Map to see Harry do just that.

"Why?" said Harry. "The Ministry of Magic don't think you were helping Sirius, do they?" Lupin crossed to the door and closed it behind Harry. "No. Professor Dumbledore managed to convince Fudge that I was trying to save your lives. " He sighed. "That was the final straw for Severus. I think the loss of the Order of Merlin hit him hard. So he -- er -- accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast." "You're not leaving just because of that!" said Harry. Lupin smiled wryly. "This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving from parents. . . . They will not want a werewolf teaching their children, Harry. And after last night, I see their point. I could have bitten any of you. . . . That must never happen again." "You're the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had!" said Harry. "Don't go!"

Here Lupin simply answers the question matter-of-factly and in fact, seems to expect that Harry would be affronted on his behalf. What's interesting here is that Lupin KNOWS that Harry has formed this bond with him and still makes what happened about him. Even though he ENDANGERED the kids ALL YEAR, here he focuses on the night before which was the most dangerous moment, and while he's doing the responsible thing but resigning and making it about the parents reaction to his condition feels like a ploy to make Harry feel sympathetic towards him. He didnot want him to feel like he screwed him over by not telling him about his parents, Sirius (and hiding something if it Sirius HAD been after him would've gotten him killed), and by slipping up the night before.

Lupin shook his head and didn't speak. He carried on emptying his drawers. Then, while Harry was trying to think of a good argument to make him stay, Lupin said, "From what the headmaster told me this morning, you saved a lot of lives last night, Harry. If I'm proud of anything I've done this year, it's how much you've learned. . . . Tell me about your Patronus." "How d'you know about that?" said Harry, distracted. "What else could have driven the Dementors back?" Harry told Lupin what had happened. When he'd finished, Lupin was smiling again. "Yes, your father was always a stag when he transformed," he said. "You guessed right. . . that's why we called him Prongs."

Okay. Here's Lupin's opportunity to talk to Harry - an orphan and his best friends' kid - about James and he doesn't take it. He just said - oh yeah, that's what he turned into.

Lupin threw his last few books into his case, closed the desk drawers, and turned to look at Harry. "Here -- I brought this from the Shrieking Shack last night," he said, handing Harry back the Invisibility Cloak. "And. . . " He hesitated, then held out the Marauder's Map too. "I am no longer your teacher, so I don't feel guilty about giving you back this as well. It's no use to me, and I daresay you, Ron, and Hermione will find uses for it." Harry took the map and grinned. "You told me Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs would've wanted to lure me out of school. . . you said they'd have thought it was funny." "And so we would have," said Lupin, now reaching down to close his case. "I have no hesitation in saying that James would have been highly disappointed if his son had never found any of the secret passages out of the castle."

Here, this feels very manipulative. Of course, if he didn't give the map/cloak back to Harry, James and Sirius would be pissed - that's his birthright. But It's pretty obvious that just like the other times that Remus uses James against Harry (Like when he discovers the Map - months previously - and he says 'I don't think your {dead} parents would appreciate you gambling their sacrifices for a bag of magic tricks'), that this time, he's using him to stay in Harry's good eyes. Especially given his parting statement.

There was a knock on the door. Harry hastily stuffed the Marauder's Map and the Invisibility Cloak into his pocket. It was Professor Dumbledore. He didn't look surprised to see Harry there. "Your carriage is at the gates, Remus," he said. "Thank You, Headmaster. " Lupin picked up his old suitcase and the empty Grindylow tank. "Well -- good-bye, Harry," he said, smiling. "It has been a real pleasure teaching you. I feel sure we'll meet again sometime. Headmaster, there is no need to see me to the gates, I can manage. . . . " Harry had the impression that Lupin wanted to leave as quickly as possible. "Good-bye, then, Remus," said Dumbledore soberly. Lupin shifted the Grindylow tank slightly so that he and Dumbledore could shake hands. Then, with a final nod to Harry and a swift smile, Lupin left the office.

Now, finally, the end of his last moment in POA - note that he says goodbye, says he was pleased to teach Harry, and THEN SAYS:

"I feel sure we'll meet again, sometime."

What does this tell us? That Lupin - Despite being around for a WHOLE YEAR & creating a relationship with Harry - DOESN'T WANT to continue the relationship. He "feels like" they'll see each other - he doesn't say anything about 'I'll write you' or 'you can write me' - he basically makes it SO FREAKING CLEAR that he's done. He came into Harry's life and plans to disappear. There's no excuse for this (especially given book 4) and THIS is exactly why Remus isn't a "Parent" - he's not a "honorary godfather" and he's TERRIBLE.

Harry can tell in this interaction that he's just a professor, just Lupin, nothing else.

It just makes it obvious that he doesn't really care for Harry, so he wouldn't be a parent and doesn't deserve all of that 'Lupin was a better option', Lupin 'should've been godfather', etc.

***

Now, Sirius' last moment with Harry:

Harry picked up the letter. It was addressed to him. He ripped open the letter, and shouted, "It's from Sirius!" "What?" said Ron and Hermione excitedly. "Read it aloud!" Dear Harry, I hope this finds you before you reach your aunt and uncle. I don't know whether they're used to owl post. Buckbeak and I are in hiding. I won't tell you where, in case this owl falls into the wrong hands. I have some doubt about his reliability, but he is the best I could find, and he did seem eager for the job. I believe the Dementors are still searching for me, but they haven't a hope of finding me here. I am planning to allow some Muggles to glimpse me soon, a long way from Hogwarts, so that the security on the castle will be lifted. There is something I never got around to telling you during our brief meeting. It was I who sent you the Firebolt --

Let's stop here. First, Sirius makes sure to send Harry the letter when he's alone. I bet he's thinking Harry's going to do exactly what he does with regards to Aunt/Uncle because he KNOWS based on Harry's quick acceptance of moving in with him & the runaway situation at the start of the book.

Then, he immediately tells him that he's safe because he knows that Harry was worried about him enough to go through time, so he assures him that he's fine.

Next, he tells him that he's thinking about him and the affect of everything that's happened and how he plans to fix it SPECIFICALLY so that HARRY is safer after he put him at risk. He takes responsibility and does whatever he can to make up for it.

And while Remus acknowledged that he was at fault, he also put it off on 'Snape let it slip and I have no choice'.

THEN knowing that Harry was probably wondering about the Firebolt - he tells him what he did. Proving that he's been watching over and caring for Harry even from a distance.

"Ha!" said Hermione triumphantly. "See! I told you it was from him!" "Yes, but he hadn't jinxed it, had he?" said Ron. "Ouch!" The tiny owl now hooting happily in his hand, had nibbled one of his fingers in what it seemed to think was an affectionate way. Crookshanks took the order to the Owl Office for me. I used your name but told them to take the gold from my own Gringotts vault. Please consider it as thirteen birthdays' worth of presents from your godfather. I would also like to apologize for the fright I think I gave you that night last year when you left your uncle's house. I had only hoped to get a glimpse of you before starting my journey north, but I think the sight of me alarmed you. I am enclosing something else for you, which I think will make your next year at Hogwarts more enjoyable. If ever you need me, send word. Your owl will find me. I'll write again soon. Sirius

Now, for the rest of the letter.

Sirius explains about the Firebolt and how DESPITE being in prison, he immediately wanted to make up for missing 13 years of Harry's like buying the Firebolt (which is noteworthy because Remus ALSO missed 13 years, and does nothing - and he could've done OTHER things besides a gift like pictures or letters or stories...).

Anyway, then, even though Harry probably didn't even remember that night he ran away, Sirius points out that the FIRST thing he thought of on getting out of prison was to CHECK ON HARRY.

He's been tortured for 12 years and has a mission to get the rat and his priority is check on his kid! And if he could do it - so could Remus. Anyway, he TELLS Harry what he did and what he wanted - just a glimpse to make sure he was okay - and then *apologies* - he's one of the few adults that does.

Then, lastly, he tells Harry's he's been paying attention by enclosing the Hogsmeade slip and ASSURES him that he WILL be writing soon and that Harry SHOULD write to him.

This IS SO OPPOSITE TO REMUS!

Sirius - I'm here for you, I'll write, you should too.

Remus - Eh, bye I'll see you around.

Harry looked eagerly inside the envelope. There was another piece of parchment in there. He read it through quickly and felt suddenly as warm and contented as though he'd swallowed a bottle of hot butterbeer in one gulp. I, Sirius Black, Harry Potter's godfather, hereby give him permission to visit Hogsmeade on weekends. "That'll be good enough for Dumbledore!" said Harry happily. He looked back at Sirius's letter. "Hang on, there's a PS. . . . " I thought your friend Ron might like to keep this owl, as it's my fault he no longer has a rat. Ron's eyes widened. The minute owl was still hooting excitedly. "Keep him?" he said uncertainly. He looked closely at the owl for a moment; then, to Harry's and Hermione's great surprise, he held him out for Crookshanks to sniff. "What do you reckon?" Ron asked the cat. "Definitely an owl?" Crookshanks purred. "That's good enough for me," said Ron happily. "He's mine. " Harry read and reread the letter from Sirius all the way back into King's Cross station. It was still clutched tightly in his hand as he, Ron, and Hermione stepped back through the barrier of platform nine and three-quarters. Harry spotted Uncle Vernon at once. He was standing a good distance from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, eyeing them suspiciously, and when Mrs. Weasley hugged Harry in greeting, his worst suspicions about them seemed confirmed. "I'll call about the World Cup!" Ron yelled after Harry as Harry bid him and Hermione good-bye, then wheeled the trolley bearing his trunk and Hedwig's cage toward Uncle Vernon, who greeted him in his usual fashion. "What's that?" he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another --" "It's not," said Harry cheerfully. "It's a letter from my godfather. " "Godfather?" sputtered Uncle Vernon. "You haven't got a godfather!" "Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. "He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though . . . keep up with my news . . . check if I'm happy . . . " And, grinning broadly at the look of horror on Uncle Vernon's face, Harry set off toward the station exit, Hedwig rattling along in front of him, for what looked like a much better summer than the last.

And Lastly, Sirius proves that he thinks of Harry's friends, too, by providing Ron an owl, as well as knowing that Harry's needs his form.

Also, it's worth noting that Harry was so touched by the letter that he kept reading and rereading it AND given that he'd run away after blowing up Marge & what happened with being locked in the year before, it's entirely possible that the Dursleys planned to lock him up again and Sirius gave him an adult that he could use against the Dursley's (WHICH IS APPARENTLY ALL THEY NEEDED TO BEHAVE) - and that means that despite reneging on the whole 'live with me' deal, he still provided protection that Harry desperately needed.

Which is what a PARENT does.

THUS, Sirius is the Proper Parent, the Best Choice, and did the BEST HE COULD DO for Harry, while Remus dropped the ball.

Also, worth noting the differences in the last POA interactions sets up the next few books nicely with regards to Sirius&Remus with Harry. Harry turns to Sirius when he needs someone, despite knowing Remus for more time. He writes to him, he lets Sirius reassure him and support him, he expects him to be there - and he is. Remus isn't. And he never planned or wanted to be.

That much is obvious from the get.

So, in conclusion, Sirius is a GOOD GODFATHER, and Remus can suck it.

This has been properly tagged, so don't come at me, but feel free to discuss nicely.

[asthedeathoflight]

I think part of why people get so weird and moralizing about the vampires' relationships with each other is that they're trying to map them onto human romantic relationships which just doesn't really work. And I'm not even talking about the moral dimension of "these people have to kill and eat humans to survive." I mean that for literally any of these vampires the healthy thing to do in the human world is just to never speak to each other ever again but that is just not an option for them. They're stuck with each other for ETERNITY. Either they kill each other or they find a way to live with each other those are basically the only options. They dont really get to go no contact.

And like specifically I'm thinking about the ways people reacted to the finale reconciliation between Lestat and Louis and how a lot of people read that as Louis going back to his abusive husband, and I can see how that would feel really off putting. But I think - awkward as it is - in that scene Lestat is more accurately described as being Louis' abusive father. Like if you think about the period of Louis and Lestat being together as a marriage then yes. Its insane for Louis to say he's grateful. But if you think of it as Louis' childhood then what you get is someone who has struggled with depression and being suicidal for his whole life going back to his parent and saying /im glad you brought me into the world./ Thank you for creating me. Thank you for giving me a chance to figure this out. It can be empowering for people to let go of their anger against their parents and finally see them as people with flaws. And before anyone comes at me with the forgiveness-is-harmful-to-survivors crap: I Know. I had the privilege of getting to go completely no contact with a family member without that impacting any of my other family relationships. I have no interest in forgiving him ever. But thats because I never have to see him again. If he was at family dinner - and you KNOW lestat is gonna be at vampire family dinner - I would have to learn how to let go of that rage for my OWN sake. Because living with anger like that eats at you and it turns you into something you don't want to be.

Louis forgiving Lestat isn't about Lestat. Its about Louis. It's about him coming to terms with the fact that these are the things that happened to him in his life and nobody can change them and like it or not he's gonna have to deal with Lestat for the rest of eternity and he's choosing to meet Lestat as an equal, to reconnect on his own terms. And that can be a very powerful thing to do! Not everyone wants to close the door on the people who helped raise them, even if they were hurt badly by them.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

❤️‍🔥can I request a number 17 from the smut prompts with Jack Hughes please, love your writing so much!

thank you sweet nonnie for not only complimenting my writing but also putting a players full name. 🫶🏻🥺

200 Followers Celebration

I also know Rutger is an hour from Newark but it's fan-fiction let's pretend the Newark campus is the main campus for the sake of this blurb. Please send in more requests this celebration is open till this Sunday. 💞💞

“Faster—ah shit—harder…”

Jack Hughes + alcohol + a slutty outfit = always equaled best orgasm.

Jack Hughes was someone who was more than a friend but less than a boyfriend. If someone asked to describe your relationship you would probably say something along the lines of "friends with benefits sometimes when convenient." Jack and you have had a weird complex relationship since you met him when you were freshly 18 and moved to New Jersey where you didn't know a single soul to go to Rutger University. He had just moved to New Jersey for the NHL, and somehow by fate you guys met. Both of became friends quickly, and that semester during your finals and his not so good rookie year, one night one of you (neither of you, years later now could tell you who) suggested to use sex as a stress relive.

Now years later, whenever one of you started talking to someone you would stop. But when both were single it wasn't uncommon to be in each-other's beds. Although when you went out to the club you were strictly "friends" until you made Jack jealous on purpose. It was the same pattern every time and if Jack has caught on, he's never said.

That's how it lead you to where you are right now, Jack grabbing you from the back holding your hips to his. Immediately your body felt at ease because it was him and also excitement in the pit of your stomach for what you knew was coming next. Jack didn't acknowledge the man in front of you both, instead he simply turned his head so his mouth could whisper in your ear. "If you think acting like a brat and flirting with some fuckboy in front of me. Who probably couldn't even find your clit if he had a fucking map will get you what you want when we get alone your wrong."

His words went straight to your core, making you push your legs together as discreetly as possible as Jack finally acknowledges the man in front of you both, but your too busy trying to get some relief you're not sure what words are exchanged nor do you care.

Next thing you know Jack is saying something about the Uber waiting for you both. The Uber ride despite 10 minutes, felt like an hour, as Jack couldn't stop himself from teasing you. His arm draped over the middle seat as he acted too busy talking to the driver while his fingers would ghost your exposed skin from your mini dress.

"jacky..." you whispered in a needy tone, not giving a fuck how you sounded to the driver due to how you felt.

Turning his head towards you, he said back "baby I'm talking to Isiah he's a fan." Leaning over the middle seat, his hand that's on your thigh gripping the flesh slightly. He whispered "after the stunt you pulled you can wait 10 minutes without acting like a needy little whore."

All you could do is nod to Jack's words, squeezing your eyes closed trying to control your breathing, as you could feel yourself dripping. Jack left a little kiss on your cheek, the driver thinking he was interrupting a sweet moment between the couple, little did he know the reality.

Finally making it back to his apartment, both of you thanked the driver as you exited the car. Jack grabbed your hand as he lead you into his building, he leaned down to your ear, his voice seething with authority. "Don't say a fucking word till we are in my apartment understand."

As soon we you step into the apartment, Jack picks you up, kissing you hard slamming you against the back of his front door. Pulling away, his mouth leaving little teasing bites down your down and collarbone. All you could do is moan in response, begging him to do more.

"naw naw naw now little one... who's in charge here?" he asked

"ya-- yoouu." you whimpered out.

"exactly and were gonna go at my rate. ya know tonight I was gonna give you whatever you wanted but then you had to go and be a fucking brat." almost spitting his words out in frustration at your actions early tonight. Taking his free hand that's not kneading your ass holding your jaw in place to look at him in the eyes.

"I don't know Jacky maybe he could fuck me better."

"oh now your gonna have it." As he takes the hand that was on your jaw, to unzip his pants and pull out his already hard cock. Going to rip your own underwear off only to discover you aren't wearing any. "your soaking wet, and you're not wearing anything."

"noo.. are you mad at me Jacky." you asked shyly.

"fuck" he whispered as he shoved his cock into you, barely giving you time to adjust to his size, before thrusting in and out of you at a fast pace. Letting his body act before his brain could react rolling his hips faster as he heard you scream in pleasure.

"ahhh fuck - " he exclaimed.

"please - faster - " you begged. "ah shit - right there Jack fuck"

"yeah you like that babygirl" he grunted.

"hmmm" you whimpered. your nails definitely leaving marks on the back of his shoulders. "see how good I make you feel. no one gets to you like this. not that fucker at the bar, not your ex who couldn't make you cum, just me."

"ahhh harder.. yeah right there FUCK." You screamed as you both chased your own person highs.

"say it. who makes you feel this good?" taking his free hand and slightly chocking you.

"only you. no one else J" At your confession he quickened his pace even faster, both of you grunting and moaning in pleasure as you both reached your climaxes.

[gaiathemexicanbeauty]

one finds the other crying

(bingo challenge prompt #3 :D)

pairing: sanji x reader word count: 756 warnings: angst to comfort, sanji but epic, LOTS OF COMFORT

don't ask me what arc this takes place during, just know its pre time skip

sanji steps onto the going merry with grocery bags in his arms and a cigarette hanging in between his lips, sighing softly and small tendrils of smoke slipping from between them. he'd been out all day wandering the city they'd docked in, making sure to find any new ingredients unique to the area; the crew was never hesitant to try new dishes from their cook even if he brought produce that sometimes had names only he could pronounce. the ship is quiet, everyone seems to be out doing their own thing if the lack of napping crew meant anything. sanji smiles cotentedly: no one to disturb him for his dinner prep just the way he liked it. he makes his way to the kitchen as he hums a small tune to himself, already mentally mapping the meals and side dishes and- and you.

he's about to call your name, a smile already etching onto his face. he never really got the chance to spend some alone time with you considering how nosy the crew (luffy and usopp) were. your back is turned to him and he considers sneaking up on you, a mischievous smile on his face before he hears a sniffle from you. he stops in his tracks instantly, groceries bags crinkling in his arms and making him freeze in place; now he's done it. he's not sure what to expect, but it wasn't this. you jump in the chair you're sitting in, looking over at sanji with wide eyes. your eyes are rimmed a swollen red and glossy, tear streaks down your cheeks. he doesn't seem to have any words, staring at you just the same way you stare at him with bated breath; what happened to you?

"i'm fine-" "are you-" the two of you stop talking, the silence thick between the two of you. sanji isn't proud enough to let it stay. before you can begin to excuse yourself, he's already walked over to you and effectively stopped you from getting up. you look up at him, your cheeks flushing before he outstretches his hand to you. "you don't have to talk about it, but i don't expect you to grovel on your own. let me help you. please." sanji says smoothly, his tone steady but the look in his eyes showing that he won't take no for an answer. you look at his outstretched hand before taking it with a shaky exhale, earning a subtle smile from sanji.

wordlessly, he leads you away from the table and to the stove; you don't need much instruction to realize he's helping you make tea. you aren't lost to the way sanji's hand will graze yours for a moment too long, rub a circle into your back or brush some hair away from your face. for once, you don't swat him away or giggle at him, you let him. his touch soothes you in ways you couldn't even believe, trying not to lean into his touch when you're bringing the teapot over to the table and he touches your arm so softly you could cry again. when the two of you are finally at the table, he sidles up to you with a soft hum, just close enough that his arm touches yours. there's a comfortable silence between the two of you as you blow and sip at your tea, feeling any and all sense of frustration washing away.

"i don't know what's got you down and i'm not gonna make you tell me. but don't try to tough it out on your own. what'd you think, this crew's just here to keep you company?" you look over at sanji who takes a drag of his cigarette away from you, your cheeks warming and a smile forming on your face; "don't go crying on me again, alright? you'll ruin that pretty face of yours." he says with a hum, cigarette hanging between his lips again when he turns to look at you again. before he can say anything more, you lean over and leave a small kiss on his cheek, giggling at the way he goes stiff. he blinks at you before the red rises from his neck to his face almost cartoonishly, his lips parting in shock as you get up and head for the doorway. "thank you, sanji." as soon as you are out of ear shot and away from the kitchen, sanji rises out of his seat and pumps his fists in the air, even doing a little dance of celebration.

◦°˚\(*❛‿❛)/˚°◦

im not gonna lie to yall, i didn't really know how to end this but you KNOW i had to bring in that sanji charm LOLL

PSSTT here's the link to the bingo masterlist to find all the prompts in one spot ;3

next prompt:

miscommunication

[anachronismstellar]

Fic writer curse got me fam, and the doctor didn't give me a note so I have to go to work. To cheer me up here's more Airplane vs The System because I wanna feel I'm making progress

And it's Cumplane Bros being smart because I love them and yeah

Hope you like it!

---

“There's…” he hesitated, glancing at Shen Yuan nervously before sweeping things around, going through names of missions. “There's stuff missing. And I can see the names, but now it's all gray? I can't select my old logs.”

Shen Yuan opened his own system, checking the same options Airplane had gone through, finding everything normal.

“That's weird, even for the System,” Shen Yuan took a step back, picking up his fan, tapping it against his palm as he walked back and forth. “And you don't remember getting any messages?”

“No, I would have told you if anything had popped up!” Which, yea, Airplane wouldn't be able to hide something like that. And they had been enjoying a nice life for the past couple of years, finally living their happy ending. Yes, some wife plots here and there but…

“I thought it was done with us now that the story was finished.” Airplane's voice cracked at the end, and this time Shen Yuan couldn't help but feel his heart squeeze for his fellow transmigrator, murderously rampant or not.

“Okay, we have to think.” Shen Yuan went back to walking, pressing his fingers against his forehead, his crown starting to feel too tight on his head. “We know Linguang-Jun was working with an Owl demon. Did he say anything else?”

Airplane blanched, trembling hand going over his mouth, rubbing his fingers over closed pressed lips. It took him some moments to compose himself, shrugging as he made the screen vanish.

“He said it wasn't a Demon, but a Heavenly being, which makes no sense, I didn't write the Heavens-”

“Oh so you do remember what you wrote, amazing!”

“-But he also said that they wanted Mobei-Jun alive. He said that they were powerful and they knew all about Linguang-Jun's schemes, down to the people he had bribed, that's why he had to help them.”

“Did he at least describe them? It was an Owl type of creature but what else?” He stopped next to the table, moving papers around with the tip of his fan. He couldn't help but think that something else was going on. “If we have the physical description we can focus on one area of the map.”

Shen Yuan huffed when Airplane ignored his comment completely only with a twitch of an eye. Airplane couldn't physically hurt him, Shen Qingqiu's cultivation skills being better than Shang Qinghua could ever develop, but Airplane looked just enough on the edge that he might try his luck with a punch.

Shen Yuan didn't want to test his limits, so he ignored that he had been ignored, letting it slide.

“He said that they arrived as a white Owl, then they changed to their humanoid form.”

Shen Yuan froze, eyes going wide. The color helped to focus their search on the Northern Desert, but where? The area was huge, most of it completely uninhabitable except-

“The Polar Owl,” he mumbled, not bothering to answer Airplane's “what?”, shoving away the pile of useless notes to grab the huge map of the demon realm hidden under it all. “You only wrote one fucking normal animal in this entire weird ass story, and it was the Polar Owl,” Shen Yuan grabbed a brush to circle the places the Owl hypothetically lived, not cursing out loud Airplane's lack of following through with backgrounds. This time. “They live in the furthest north anyone ever been, no one else can survive the low temperatures except-”

“The Mobei line.” Airplane's whisper wasn't loud enough to interrupt Shen Yuan but the awed expression on Shang Qinghua's face was.

“Exactly.” Shen Yuan snapped his fan open, a smirk tilting his lips up as he straightened up his shoulders, putting on his best peak lord smug face. “And they are considered sacred to the Northern tribes because of their resistance to low temperatures. Thus it is completely possible that Linguang-Jun thought that the person he spoke with had come from the Heavens.”

Ding!

Mission in progress: Author's favorite.

UV002 objective: aid UV001

[COMPLETED]

---

Off to work I go, wish me luck ✌️

[mia-maybank]

My predictions for heartbreak high season 3

-A backstory on Ant's homelife and how the map affected it -it feels like they built it up all s1 then s2 Ant was drunk or high 90% of his screentime so it feels like he was substance abusing to escape his family issues? Idk but I'm praying they give us this type of storyline in s3.

-Malakai realising he was infact just running from his problems so he comes back -he needs to address everything properly and finally have some happiness because the poor guy has been dragged through the mud in the previous seasons.

-Miss Obah helping Spider with his mother and Woodsy helping Ant with his homelife -Miss Obah makes it pretty clear she doesn't like Spider and it seems like Woodsy just sees Ant as a class clown so I think it would be interesting for them to both realise they are actually just struggling kids with shitty parents.

-Quinni and Sasha becoming close friends & Sasha redemption arc -with Sasha being vice captain they will be working together a lot, which will be interesting with them being exes. It would also be a good chance for Quinni to help Sasha realise her opinions or the way she goes about expressing her opinions is toxic and help her change for the better.

-Miss Obah talking Spider through a panic attack -because lets be real Spider bottles all his emotions and vulnerability up so it's bound to come crashing down at somepoint, plus it would be a good way to make Miss Obah realise that Spider's just hurt rather than the complete dickhead she thinks he is. It would also probably be the first time Spider has an adult figure look out and care for him and that would be good for him.

-Cash forcing Darren to sit down and communicate properly -because I love Darren but they definitely don't know what healthy communication is and to be endgame (which if they aren't I will personally riot) they both need to sit down and fully figure their shit out.

-Missy and Ant friendship -with Missy dating Spider and Ant being Spider's bestfriend it's kind of a given and she would be a healthy person to give advice to Ant.

-Missy, Spider and Ant having that dynamic where Ant is basically Missy and Spider's child -because Spider already has such a soft spot for him and I can just see them both giving him advice together and looking after him, especially if Ant gets a storyline about his parents being neglectful.

-Lots of Ant and Spider friendship screentime -in the first two seasons they are practically attached at the hip so the writers better keep it that way for my sanity.

-Malakai's reaction to Missy dating Spider as well as Spider apologising to Malakai if (when) he comes back and Malakai being shook by the fact that Spider's actually changed - it would be a good way to show Spider's really trying to change plus I feel like Malakai's reaction to Missy and Spider being together would be so funny.

-A scene where Malakai is hurt because he thinks Amerie just ignored his letter and Amerie is like "what letter?" -the writers have literally set this up by burning the letter and I'm now terrified.

-Dusty coming back to Hartley -they could so easily make up a reason for Dusty to come back and I think it would be interesting to see how he fits back in now Spider is growing to be a better person.

-Ant finding out Harper made the map too and being upset about it since it literally outed him and Spider going full protective best friend mode -the fact that everybody still fully blames Amerie just doesn't sit right with me and with Ant probably being the most affected by the map (considering his Christian parents) and with him falling for Harper he would definitely feel the most betrayed.

-Ant coming out to Spider properly or having a conversation with him about his sexuality -I think the writers just completely forgot that Ant is canonically not straight and it would be nice for it to be acknowledged, even in a small way.

-Cash self harm storyline and the others finding out the meaning of his name -This was set up with the writers revealing the meaning of his name at the end of s2 so it makes sense.

-Spider having less trust in teachers after Voss, leading to Woodsy and Miss Obah finding out Voss slapped Spider -because he literally slapped a child surely the wiriters won't forget about it and just move on??

-Ant breaking down sobbing in Spider's arms or vice versa -they are each others first point of comfort so it makes sense they will lean on eachother throughout their family issues. Plus I could so imagine a scene of Spider just completely breaking down in Ant and Missy's arms because he seriously does just bottle everything up until he explodes.

[softspeirs]

Steer Clear

A/N: Here we are, kids. This OC came to me out of nowhere. I had no plans to write anything for Ev Blakely, but once I started thinking about it, I couldn't stop. Meet Marie.

It was an innocuous request, in his mind. Hey, Fernandez. Run these messages to the Colonel on your way?

She had frozen in place, halfway down the tower steps at his words, and he recognized the look on her face. He's seen it a thousand times since he met her over a year ago.

"I'm pressed for time, Captain." She says. "I have to run these figures to the plotters--"

"You're on your way there anyway." He insists. He holds out a stack of messages. Weather reports, updated communications from nearby bases, messages about incoming ferries happening later that day.

She turns her back on him.

Heads right down the stairs like he hadn't even spoken, and leaves him standing there.

"For fuck's sake," he whispers to himself, and then he's taking off, hot on her heels.

She's like a wraith the way he catches only glimpses of her disappearing around corners, until finally she's in Ops, handing a message to Red at the maps before turning to pass on other messages, her steps quick and efficient.

The room is relatively quiet and he's sure he's not imagining the way people take one look at the two of them and pretty much clear out. They don't want to be stuck inside with them when the arguing inevitably starts.

He sighs. "Fernandez-- can you just wait a minute?"

"Not really, no."

The thing about an impending promotion is that he's starting to understand why Jack hates being Air Exec. He hates being stuck inside, or in the tower, or elsewhere on the base while others are doing the flying. He understands his role. He'll do it and he'll do a damned good job of it, but that doesn't mean he likes it.

Especially because it means he's in close contact with the Ops staff, who are all, except for Marie Fernandez, willing to work with him.

"Do we have a problem?" He blurts, because he already knows they do. The first day he met her she looked at him with.... nothing. She wasn't rude or anything, but he felt like he could have been any other suit standing in front of her, and it hit him in the gut like he didn't expect. "I'm not giving you orders, I just asked if you'd do me a favor." He's aware his tone is hardening. He's trying not to let it happen, but she's just staring at him in that way she does.

"I don't work for you," she points out, tone perfectly neutral, but something about it just grates. He opens his mouth to respond, but she beats him to it. "I work for the Colonel, and he's the one who gives me orders."

His hands go to his hips and he looks down at the ground, clenching his jaw as he fights his temper. "We're working together, Fernandez. All of us." He leans in, "Unless you forgot."

Her eyes narrow. "Because I couldn't possibly feel the same patriotism that you do, could I?" She pretends to think, finger tapping he chin. "I forgot that the only way to fight from the air is in the seat. Us pencil pushers don't count." Her eyes are blazing, a few tendrils of her dark hair escaping from their pins after hours and hours of work.

"You weren't supposed to hear that." He mutters. Not a good excuse, but he can't help but bite back at her. She gets under his skin - he needs to have the last word. It's a matter of pride, is what he tells himself.

"Then don't gossip where everyone can hear you, Captain." She raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "Now. Is there something I can help you with? Because if not, then we're busy."

He takes a deep breath, tries to lower his voice. "I'm just asking if you would be willing to take messages when you're on your way anyway--"

"-- And I told you I don't have time. I know you think I don't do anything but sit around and twirl my hair all day--"

"That's not what I think."

"Can I--" Harry Crosby's head appears around the doorframe of his office.

"Not now, Croz--"

"Shut up Harry--"

They both snap at him in unison, and he holds his hands up in surrender and backs into his office. He's been the third wheel of too many arguments between Fernandez and Blakely over the last few months, and he has no desire to get in the middle of another one, even though he's desperate for a few minutes of quiet.

The sudden quiet between them is tense and for a moment -- he doesn't even think she's aware she does it - the wall around Marie Fernandez comes down. Her face is open, vulnerable. She looks exhausted, just like the rest of them.

She takes a deep breath, settles her shoulders, and squares to face him again, and he's suddenly breathless. She is unbearably lovely. Especially when she's yelling at him. And his heart is pounding, and she's saying something but he can't hear her and--

"Well?" She snaps.

"I-- what?"

"I said, the next time you need something from Ops, send one of the other girls. There's no need for us to keep disturbing everyone else." Her voice is quieter than it was a few minutes ago and he hates it. The fight's gone out of her eyes too, and for a crazed half-second, he wants to reach for her.

To do what, he has no idea, but suddenly he feels out of control, like he has no idea how to speak or move or--

She brushes past him. The door slams behind her as she goes back to her office, just outside the Colonel's.

He pinches the bridge of his nose as the quiet of the room settles over him. He knows this has to get sorted. They can't keep fighting like this, not with the invasion so close on the horizon, not when the communication between Ops and the tower is so important.

They need to trust each other, and he needs to keep his big mouth shut and stop taking his frustrations out on her.

He knows all this, but there's a part of him that's itching for a fight, and she's always willing to give it. Perhaps it's the masochistic part of him that came back from Bremen, knowing everything had gone to shit and convinced that it always would.

Harry comes out of his office again, hands in his pockets.

"Don't say it--"

"You can't keep doing that." He says, serious.

"She started it--"

"She's just doing her job, doing what she's supposed to do."

"I asked for a favor! That's all! Goddamn, you'd think I'm asking for her to get in the goddamn seat and drop a bomb on Hitler's house."

Crosby frowns. "Look, I just-- you let her get to you, and I don't know why, but you're driving everyone crazy. We're all tired but this is too important."

He opens his mouth to argue that Harry Crosby of all people shouldn't be lecturing him about being tired, but he bites his tongue. The door behind him opens again, and he looks over his shoulder, expecting her to storm back in and demand he apologize to her, but it's Douglass.

"Fightin' with Marie again?" He asks, casually, leaning against the wall as he bites down on an apple.

"Jesus Christ." Ev mutters.

"I'm just asking because the two of you really know how to clear a room."

"I'm going to go now. Don't you two have anything better to do?"

"Besides bother you? Not really."

"Thanks, Dougie."

Douglass follows him out the door, calling after him, "Just let us know when you're finally going to do something about it so we can steer clear, alright?"

Blakely flips him the finger over his shoulder and walks back to the tower, his gut roiling for reasons he doesn't want to examine. No, he'll steer clear of her from now on. It's best for everyone.

[starchasersunseeker]

Wolfstar about jegulus {microfic, word count: 781} @into-the-jeggyverse

It was one of those rare moments when Remus had peace. He was alone in the dorm, reading a new book he had been dying to finish. Some book a muggle friend of his had recommended.

The quiet of the dorm room was disturbed by Sirius, who promptly started ranting about something. As he looked around the dorm, he noticed that it was empty apart from Remus. Noting that the boy was reading on his bed he quietly decided to join him. Sirius stopped by his chest first, where he took the Map out, murmured something and then sat next to Remus. They sat quietly side by side with their backs against the wall.

He tried to indulge Remus by quietly looking at the Map. He really did try. But he could stay quiet only for so long. His thoughts became too loud to contain, however, as he saw two names by the Black Lake, "Do you think they suspect anything?"

Remus kept his head down, still focused on his book, "Hm?"

"If they suspect anything," Sirius repeated. 

"Who?" Remus finally looked up. "And what are we talking about?" When he gazed at his boyfriend he saw a slight frown on his face. His lips were pulled to the side as he was lightly chewing at his cheek.

"Reggie and Prongs," he answered as he looked away from their names on the Map. Looking at Remus, he continued, "I've been trying to set them up. I'm not sure if they've figured that out, though..." 

Remus closed his book, putting it to the side "Why? I thought you said you would scare away anyone that even tries to get close to Regulus."

"And I bloody will!" Sirius exclaimed before pausing. His brow furrowed again. "Not James, though. I know he'd be perfect for Reg. That's the thing, I think they're perfect for each other." His lips turned upwards just slightly, "Balance each other out, you know? And I Know I can trust James with Reg. I know he'd never hurt him."

"Maybe they're just oblivious?" Remus suggested. He had seen James and Regulus together before, and it was not a question of 'if' they're compatible or interested but more one of 'when' they would actually do something about their connection. Their very clear chemistry. 

"What?" Sirius asked, startled. He didn't quite understand what Remus was talking about now.

"They're still not together, so maybe they just don't see that their feelings are returned?"

"Wait," Sirius was very confused now. And his face was contorted with a mix of emotions. Shock. Surprise. "You think they have feeling for each other?"

"I... Yes?" It was said more like a question than anything else. "I thought you saw how they looked at each other?" Remus wasn't quite sure why Sirius's face looked the way it did. Had he not seen it? He had been meddling with them long enough to have noticed. Surely.

"What do you mean? How do they look?" Sirius no longer looked surprised. Now he just looked confused. Very much so.

"Like they're all the other one can see." Remus explained. "Like how I look at you," he paused, his face fond and a small smile playing on his lips, "and you at me."

"Oh." Sirius paused for a moment. Processing the information. "Oh! So my plan is working!" Sirius's entire face lit up with a smile. His smile could light up the world, Remus thought. It did his, anyway. 

He chuckled at Sirius's antics, "Maybe it is. Why don't you give them time to sit on their thoughts and feelings, hm?" he said as he started to reach out towards Sirius. "They might just figure it out on their own," he pulled him in his lap. Threading his hands through his hair. He always loved doing that. And he knew Sirius enjoyed it too.

He sighed, "Yeah." Sirius's smile no longer took up his entire face, but was a smaller one. Not any less genuine though. "I hope they do. And soon," his smile got wider again and his eyes lit up with mischief. Teasing. "I want to go on double dates! Oh it'd be so fun annoying Reggie on double dates!"

That made them both laugh. When the laughter died down, Remus just placed a small kiss on Sirius's lips, "I'm sure it will be." And he was. He was positive they'd all have a lot of fun when that day came. Until then, he was more than happy to go on dates with Sirius alone. He quite liked it when it was just the two of them. It was a good thing they had one planned for that weekend. 

[thatfreshi]

Little Stars and Such (Astarion x Reader)

It's here, the piercing fic, in which body-modded Tav gives Astarion hella piercings. I made a previous post with his piercing map in case you guys don't know the terms (I basically didn't until yesterday)

Tw - needles, implied sex

Recommended Song: Gregg's Woods - Alec Holowka

For the past couple of days, Astarion has been asking quite a few questions about your piercings. You had adorned your nose and face in tiny pieces of metal, all done by hand. Your little collection has grown over time, most recently with an eyebrow piercing once you settled down in Baldur's Gate once again.

"Do they hurt?"

"Like, when you pierce them? Yeah. You get used to it though. Surprised you don't have any honestly, elves are known for having the most elaborate piercings."

He stays silent for a moment, and you realize he wouldn't know that.

"Wasn't exactly a thing Cazador just let us do. Body modifications were mostly limited to demonic scars and being cut up for fun."

"Right... sorry."

"Don't be."

The conversation ended pretty abruptly, but picked up the next day while you were swapping out your nose ring.

"Do you ever get scared that your little ring will get caught on something and rip out of your nose?"

A sudden question, but a welcome one.

"I mean, sometimes, but not many people are that close to my nose. Unless you're planning on ripping out my piercing?"

You eye him suspiciously and he smirks.

"Oh, I would never."

This goes on for days, little prodding questions about all your accessories. One morning, while the two of you are lying in bed, you catch him staring at the helix on your ear.

"Astarion do you... do you want a piercing? Because I can do them. I mean I did these to myself."

"I've been thinking about it. I'm just a little nervous is all."

"Why my love?"

"I mean, I've never really had the freedom to do what I want with my body, in a lot of ways. That's one of those things I never got to explore, all the body modifications people are oh so familiar with. I suppose I could've done one with an embroidery needle if I was desperate, but that's just not something I had the liberty to think about."

You move a strand of hair out of his eyes.

"Well, you have the freedom to do whatever you want now."

"Then perhaps I'd like a couple."

"A couple? You don't wanna start with one?"

"Nonsense! One would be sad and pathetic, and we know I am a man of extravagance."

"Alright, if you insist."

You then grab a notebook sitting on the bedside table, and begin to draw out a plan for his piercings. Astarion insists that he only wants them on his ears, because he doesn't want anything to ruin his perfect face. As you're sketching, you continue to talk.

"You know this is gonna suck, right? Since your ears are so sensitive?"

"Sensitive? What makes you say that."

You blankly stare at him until he gives up.

"Okay fine, but I'm sure it can't be that bad!"

"I don't know. I mean I'm going to stab multiple holes through your ears. You barely like them being touched."

"I've been through enough pain. Nothing compares to jagged cuts in your back, I promise."

There are many moments like that, where he says something tragic that you just can't bring yourself to argue with. Without another word, he curls up against you, and the two of you discuss the options he has. Eventually, you settle on five on each side, because he INSISTED they be symmetrical.

"Tav, what kind of idiot would I look like if I had one ear with a bunch of shit on it, and one just, empty?"

"I guess you're not wrong."

He decides on two helixes, two lobe piercings, and a daith. You're a little surprised that he's going all out on this, but you don't mind. Everyone has that thing that lets them feel free, the thing they finally do to show the world 'I'm my own person.' Besides, if he didn't like them he could simply let them heal back up, forget this ever happened.

You go to grab your little makeshift piercing kit, full of fine needles you've collected over time, just in case you ever lose some.

"Now, you'll have to wear some of mine since you don't have your own earrings yet, but I'm sure you won't mind because my collection is amazing."

He sits up in bed, his shirt sleeve softly draping off his shoulder. If he could still be in the sun, you'd imagine a beam of light coming through the window right now, illuminating his face. You sit beside him, gently placing the box of needles by your feet.

"Alright, I'm gonna walk you through this as I do it, and if you want to stop at any time we can."

"Thank you my love."

The thought crosses your mind, that he'd probably not let any other soul on the planet do this kind of thing. Any time he's let someone else have control over his body, it's been riddled with sin and scars. But you? You've always been kind, soft, present. That's one thing he loves most about you, that he feels like he can be present. Not drifting off somewhere else, not closing off his mind to defend himself, not playing a chess match in his head. It's, easy. Life is easy now, and isn't that something wonderful?

"Alright, we're gonna start on the lobe. You feel the needle?"

You hold it lightly against his ear, and he shivers a little.

"Mhm."

"Alright, don't tense, but it's gonna hurt."

You hear the air escape through his teeth as the needle goes through. A pretty clean job if you do say so yourself.

"Well?"

You put in a dangling gold moon, waiting to see how he feels.

"Painful, but not horrible."

"Want to go again?'

"Of course."

He says it a little suggestively, and you give him a playful push.

"Save it for later imp."

You continue with his piercings, taking small breaks in between for conversation. You've continued adorning his ears with astral-themed jewelry, little stars and such. By the time you've finished the last one, you're quite pleased with your work. Astarion almost doesn't let you put the last earring in since he's so excited to see what you've done. He had Gale teach him mirror image a while ago, so he could finally see his reflection whenever he wanted. After casting it and giving his ears a look, he smiles.

Astarion laughs at your comment, giving one of those genuine smiles you used to rarely see. You silently curse the people that took that smile from him, wondering how anyone could see this specimen and torment him. He's like a pixie, a little trickster, someone you could pick up and hold forever. You know you're probably the only one who sees him that way, the only one who would call him cute, but he is. He enjoys it, being viewed as something that isn't devious or sexual, but a bright presence. You told him once how it's ironic that he can't be in the sun, because he was probably sunnier than the sun itself. He'd never let you tell anyone else that though.

"I... I think I quite like them."

"I do too. It's fitting."

You plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Worth the pain?"

"Most things are my love. Like you."

His hand meets your face, taking you into a deep kiss. When you break away, you whisper in his ear.

"I think they make you sexier too."

A chuckle under his breath, lips meeting again, and the morning is soon wasted away in bed. What a joy, to wake up every day with him, with someone living their life anew. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Neither of you know, but it's exciting none-the-less.