#i don't think i could handle it if i didn't

[plantelo]

I love this style of more morally ambiguous Doctor - responsible in the sense that he could be counted on, but deeply irresponsible in that he never looked back because he didn't dare to. I feel as though this was broken down somewhat with the introduction of River Song - when the Doctor is the focal point, there's less of an opportunity to show him trying to earn his redemption - or endulging his repressed bitterness - because he's not an outsider in the story anymore.

Someday I want to go back and watch the classic series to see how they handled the emotional complexities of his meddling with fate. All I know for certain is that recent seasons have left me dissatisfied. And part of that is seeing the old new style go as audiences' expectations shift, for sure - but I don't think I like the newest style, nostalgia or no.

doctor who meme | nine scenes [3/9]

↳ “You’ve been in that skin suit too long. You’ve forgotten. There used to be a real Margaret Blaine. You killed her and stripped her and used the skin. You’re pleading for mercy out of a dead woman’s lips.”

[idolomantises]

What do you think of The Owl House? Like, I liked and respect Dana a lot for what she's accomplished, but I also feel like everyone is just pretending that the show doesn't have any problems, as I felt that the cast was always very poorly developed from the beginning.

I like the show, I don't love it, but i think it's pretty good. TOH has a lot of really cool world building and lore, but I also found a lot of the characters really lacking. Three of my biggest annoyances were Luz, the characters having altered personalities after one episode and the underutilization of Luz's friends.

I think Luz is actually a great protagonist, my issue is when the show really loves to tease her as this flawed and morally complicated protagonist when... she isn't? any time she does something bad, its completely accidental. It's funny when the show first came out and people negatively compared her to Mabel because Mabel actually did make a lot of selfish and careless decisions that she had to grow from.

The show also had a bizarre habit of giving characters new personalities after their first appearance, and I think Amity is the worst offender of this. Her first appearance she's the generic mean girl bully, and this is used to create conflict and for Luz to befriend Willow. But then after that, all of a sudden she's super "cold" and keeps to herself, and the characters act like she's just the popular quiet girl? and then the show has the audacity to blame a lot of the bullying Amity did on her friends and parents. I have no clue why the flashback episodes portrayed it like Amity just watched as her friends bullied Willow, SHE was a part of that! Similar issue with Hunter. Introduced as a snarky brat, and then his next appearance he's incredibly angsty and depressed so the audience could sympathize with him. Willow and the Collector were also ones that stuck out to me, but it was a change that was subtle enough that I didn't notice.

I don't know why writers do this. I like it when your characters are messy and flawed, give them unlikable traits so we can watch them slowly be better people. Don't tell me someone is flawed and then don't give them flaws and don't tell me to sympathize with a character by just giving them a new personality.

I think everyone is pretty aware of how poorly utilized Luz's friends are but there are seriously so many episodes where I was like "why aren't Willow and Guz taking Amity's place". They really feel like a studio mandate.

Also Lumity is kind of boring but honestly, I don't really think its as big of a deal as some fans think it is. Lots of cartoons have straight couples that quarrel, get together and their relationship isn't the most compelling in the world, but its still pretty cute. If anything I do wish Amity would work through her issues more than have what little personality she had disappear when she dated Luz.

With your point about how fans handle criticism, admittedly I think part of the reason why people don't want to admit the show's problem is because Disney fucked it over MASSIVELY and it feels like punching down (at least to them). I think there's a very common mentality of "is it fair to criticize a show that never really got a chance to fully find its stride?"

But I also know this is just a massive problem with shows that have queer characters in general. There's just this prevalent attitude that if you have a problem with a piece of media that also happens to have queer characters, it means you're "ungrateful" or trying to insult it on purpose. Though personally, I think TOH fans are a lot better at handling and giving criticism.

[spiderb00]

Meet the girls - Megan Skiendiel

Megan Skiendiel X Reader 

Synopsis - Meeting your girlfriend's parents can be scary, but the five girls she lives with, oh man... 

Genre – Fluff 

a/n - thank you for request this, 6’3 Anon! I wanted to write something about Megan, but my brain wouldn't give me anything. <3  (request)

You were nervous, the whole way here was extremely slow and as much as Megan tried to reassure you over the phone, you weren't entirely convinced of her words. So when you pulled up in front of the Kats' house, you hadn't been able to get out of the car.  

Megan was an important person in your life, the person you wanted to share everything with, the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. That's why you were so nervous to meet the Kats. It was as if you were entering into your judgment, the debate on whether or not you would be worthy of dating Megan.   

Your thoughts were interrupted when a smiling Megan tapped the window, finally getting you out of the car.  

"How long did you come?" Megan asked, standing for a moment on tiptoe to reach her cheek, giving a quick kiss there.    

"I think about five minutes ago. I was just..."  

"Yes, of course, I know you were up your big baby." Megan said, looking at you with playful looks. "You know it's kind of comical? You usually intimidate people a little bit, but here you are, shaking like a kitten." 

"Hey! I wasn't shaking, I just wanted to look presentable. And it's not my fault that people find tall people intimidating." You said, looking at your girlfriend, that she was looking at you with a defiant smile. 

"Alright then, Miss Nervous, let's get in before they start saying I made you up." Megan said as she intertwined your hands with hers, dragging you inside.   

The house was big, beautiful, and intimidating, but come on, you could handle it. Megan's idea was a relaxed dinner at home, where you could be more comfortable, since you weren't public yet. So when you all settled down at the dinner table, Megan introduced each girl and your nerves calmed down more by the minute.   

"So, Yn..." Sophia began. "Where did you and Megan meet?" The older girl asked casually.   

 "Oh, we have some friends in common. One day, my friend Malia asked me out with her and some friends, so that's when Kylie introduced me to Megan. And I kind of fell in love right away." You replied, looking at your girlfriend sitting next to you and intertwining your hands with hers on the table. 

"Aww, you guys are so cute!" Lara says looking at you two.   

All the girls agreed with Lara's line, immediately seeing how you treat Megan.   

"Are your tattoos real?" Yoonchae asked, making you laugh a little.   

"Yes, they are." you said, giving the younger girl a smile.   

"Wow, there are many, they are very cool."  

"Thank you, Yoonchae." you said, making the younger girl smile at you.   

"You kind of remind me of Sophia's girlfriend." Daniela says as she takes a sip of her drink.   

"What? They don't look alike." Sophia says laughing lightly.  

"No, she's right. It's just this whole aura of protective and intimidating, but when you open your mouth and we realize you're just a Golden Retriver, I don't know." Manon says, elaborating well on the comparison. "I'm sure you'd get along just fine with Sophia's girlfriend." Manon completes.   

"Girl..."   

The girls engage in a deep argument, being loud and electric as always. You and your girlfriend exchanging glances, laughing lightly at the whole situation.  

"So maybe I didn't need to be so afraid." You said, scratching the back of your neck.   

"I told you, I told you so, there's nothing to fear."  

"I just wanted them to think I'm good for you. That's why I was afraid." you said, looking into the redhead's eyes.   

"You're perfect for me." Megan said, taking your face in her hands and kissing you.   

"AWW!" A chorus of "aww's" interrupts your kiss with Megan, causing you to part with smiles on your faces.   

"Shut up." Megan says, throwing a napkin to hit any of the girls.     

That's it, kisses for everyone!!! <3

[maybanksmusings]

THE WALLS ; JJ MAYBANK

SYNOPSIS ; when an unknown face appears in the outer banks searching for a father she's never met, she's unaware of how her life is about to be completely turned upside down.

WARNINGS ; jjmaybank x routledge!reader, strong language, depictions of violence, afab!reader, sexual content, mentions of abuse, drug and alcohol consumption, strangers to lovers, fast burn to slow burn, canon adjacent, not proofread.

AUTHORS NOTE ; no yapping today

part one. part two.

you never knew how relaxing it was to lay in the sun, the steady movements of the boat gently rocking you side to side. it was almost as if you hadn't set fire to everything you and john b grew up believing.

john b knew his mom took off when he was a kid, what he didn't know was that she was pregnant when she left. you thought that your dad died and your mom lived in your hometown her entire life.

both of you agreed that, for now at least, this branch of the family tree would be kept from the others until you've had enough time to fully wrap your heads around everything without the added input from everyone else.

"ladies and losers." john b claps, grabbing the attention of everyone on board "with the newest addition to our dysfunctional family," he gestures in your direction earning applause from the group, with the addition of a cheer from jj "the no pouge-on-pouge macking rule is still in full effect, just in case anyone has forgotten."

you don't miss the glare sent in jj's direction, the blond in question, however, was too busy making a face at you to even notice that he was the target of that rule.

it takes everything in you not to laugh, you understand why the rule may have been implemented in the past. young kids making up rules to protect their friendship. but you surely were all old enough and mature enough to handle real adult relationships.

"does our newest recruit partake?" pope asked throwing a can of beer to jj and kiara before looking at you once more.

"are you forgetting she was flat drunk when she went all cat woman on topper?" kiara joked, cracking open her can and raising it to you "to passing your initiation."

"and to beating the shit out of a kook!"

"here here!"

you sit up to bow as the others raise their cans to you, unable to stop the soft laugh that escapes as you sit up again "thank you, thank you. i'd like to thank my agent, my manager,"

john b jokingly shoves your shoulder to shut you up "a little humility wouldn't kill you, you know."

"humility is for losers" you taunt, making your way over to the cooler to see for yourself what was inside "besides, you owe me so humility is redundant."

before you can continue excusing your incoming speech, you're jolted forward by a sudden bump in the boat. you lose your footing, grabbing the closest thing to you and dragging it into the water with you.

person. the closest person to you and dragging them into the water with you.

you were a pretty decent swimmer, decent enough to not drown at least, but when you hit the water, any swimming ability was replaced with dread. truth be told you shouldn't be surprised, not even twenty four hours ago someone did in fact try to drown you so it was only natural you began to panic.

your brain was begging your body to do something, to override your fear with instinct, but no matter what you did all you could do was kick and flail.

you cling to the familiar frame dragging you to the surface, wrapping your arms and legs around him like a koala clung to a tree. you hid your face in the crook of jj's neck to shield your tears from the group, even if there was a chance you could explain it away as water in your eyes.

"you're okay, baby" jj coos, his hand cradling the back of your head "you're safe, i got you."

"the fuck was that!?" kiara shouts, helping the boys drag you and jj back onto the boat.

pope peers out over the edge, trying to catch a glimpse of anything that could be in the water "guys, i think we hit a boat?" he calls out over his shoulder.

almost as if in sync, jj and john b exchanged a knowing look. they knew what it meant, from what you learned so far they've been attached at the hip for years so it wasn't a shock that they had some weird telepathy.

without a word from either of them, they dive off the side of the boat and into the water, undoubtedly to scout out whatever pope had spotted. neither kiara or pope showed much of a reaction, probably because they were used to their antics.

you, on the other hand, sat by the edge of the boat and peered into the murky water below. you were holding your breath, waiting for any sort of sign of life from either of the boys.

time passes agonisingly slowly, but soon enough you spot the unmistakable head of brown hair rising to the surface.

"jackpot, baby!" jj hollers, throwing his arms into the air in celebration "one poor bastard made aggie mad, that's a seriously primo boat."

kiara shrugs "what do those kooks expect, they're harming the environment with their flashy boats, it's karma."

"easy there, greenpeace." john b huffs, pulling himself up and into the boat "mother natures most recent victim could have all sorts of profitable shit inside."

"exibit a," jj announces proudly, producing a silver canister from his pocket "would our newest pledge like to do the honours?"

"i would love to incriminate myself by stealing private property!" you exclaim, sarcasm dripping off of every syllable. nonetheless, you take it from him and shake its contents onto the floor of the boat.

the metallic clang makes everyone wince, the group sighing in disappointment of seeing what was inside.

"wow, greaat, almost died over a lousy compass." jj groans, plopping himself down into a seat.

"it isn't a lousy compass," you mutter, scrambling to retrieve your fathers' compass from your backpack and comparing the two side by side.

they were identical.

"cause that isnt freaky.." pope mumbled, peering over your shoulder.

when you look to john b, he's already looking at you, knowing exactly who this compass used to belong to.

"it's a set," your voice sounds like you have just joined the dots of a brain wracking mystery.

"two compasses, one for each kid."

before anyone can question what exactly john b meant by that, a sharp noise zips past your ear, grazing the top of your arm and scaring the shit out of you.

the five of you look towards the source of the noise, another boat is coming towards the hms pouge, and the two men on board looked far from pleased as they aimed their guns right at the five of you.

"shit, shit!" john b ducks into the drivers seat and hits the gas, jolting all of you backwards as you sped through the marsh "get down!"

you all do as instructed, laying face down on the boats floor, rocking with every sharp, zig-zagged movement john b made. each of you flinch every time a metallic ding rings out against the boat's exterior, you hear kiara humming a tune to keep her mind occupied.

your eyes scan the boat for anything that could help, an idea coming to you the second you spot an old fishing net.

"y/n, what are you doing!? get down!"

you ignore popes shouts, moving quickly to gather up the net and toss it off the back of the boat. as you had hoped, the aggressors' boat gets caught up in the net, allowing john b to get you all out of there without harm.

"you moronic genius!" john b half praises, half scolds, the moment the boat stops at the chateau's dock. grabbing your shoulders and giving you a shake "what is with you and almost dying?"

"a thank you wouldn't hurt," you retort, the throbbing sting in your upper arm still as prominent as when it first happened "this poor girl couldn't handle it."

you pat the side of the hms as you climb off, your fellow pouges following behind as you all tiredly drag your feet towards the house.

"looks gnarly," jj remarked, appearing beside you and focusing his gaze on the small wound on your arm "here, lemme help out."

you are very much aware that it's nothing more than a surface wound, barely a graze, yet you allowed jj to lead you over to the hammock and sit you down.

when he headed inside to grab what he needed, you sank into the comfort of the hammock and closed your eyes. the slight breeze, the gentle rocking of the hammock, the warm sun burning down on you. it does a good job of helping you decompress from the insanity that ensued since your arrival.

the hammock shifts under you when jj returns, the extra weight tilting the fabric to bring you closer to him. he doesn't want to speak, to disturb you in your peaceful bubble. he knows he's staring but he can't look away.

"you just got here and you already look like you've been put through the wringer." jj jokes, though there's a clear sense of seriousness underneath.

and he isn't wrong, the bluish bruises staining your throat from toppers hand, and now the blood smeared all over your arm which made it look much worse than it was.

"two near-death experiences will do that,"

"two near-death experiences so far.."

you know he's telling the truth, but you can't help but laugh as he helps you sit up. a comfortable silence falls between you as he wipes around the graze with a cloth, before gently placing a bandaid over the wound.

the close proximity doesn't seem to phase either of you, at least not enough to get anyone to move. without a word, he reclines back into the hammock, an arm out in a silent invitation.

you reason with yourself that it was harmless, john b's 'macking' rule echoing in your ears as you considered your options. realistically speaking, both you and jj knew this was far from harmless but more like the edge of a slippery slope you could both snowball down.

but you were tired, and it was jj, and the others weren't even around to see it.

no harm, no foul, right?

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@rainingcecilias @gigistalked @loverofmarsss

[moonbutters]

My dad doesn't accept that I am transfem, and hasn't ever since I came out. He decided that I'm not mature enough to be trans, and therefore I needed to learn what "being a man" is like before I could transition.

In this case it meant using photos of me on various dating sites in order to get me a date that he approved of.

He decided that he didn't even trust me to talk to these women, and instead pretended to be me for stars knows how long. I only found this out when he came to me to tell me that he had been talking to some women on the app "on my behalf" and was trying to get her to just text me on my phone, which first off makes a bad impression of me on them as generally dating apps have a sort of protection to them to help prevent harassment, and also phone numbers are a bit more sketch nowadays than say, a discord handle. It also completely ruins my ability to determine how to act in front of people that I don't know very well because I will not have known these people at all, and they might think that they know me a little when in reality it's just my dad pretending to be me.

Not even to mention that him impersonating me is just bloody weird, y'know?

So for several months I tried to convince this man that it is weird that he continues to impersonate me on dating sites. I tell him I would like for him to stop, and if I wanted to be on these sites then I would do it myself. I also requested that he give me all of the login information for each of the website, which he has yet to do (it has been at least a year).

The only way I got him to stop was by telling him I was dating one of my current partners, and that I was pansexual.

I feel like in his head he sees me as significantly more innocent and incompetent than I actually am. The guy had continued to insist up to this year that I did not know how to talk to women (this had been running since early middle school, over a decade ago now, where it was a much better excuse than whatever gender dysphoria I was feeling at the time, which I did not yet have a name for).

But anyway, yeah, my dad impersonated me on several dating sites in order to try to get me a date that he approved of.

[atenea585]

23 with Dean plss!!! 🫦

Oh, I know what you are looking for and I will give it to you😏

Prompts: “Is there some space left in that bathtub?”

Tags/Warnings: 18+, smut, Dean being a menace, sex in the bathtub.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

You were sitting in the bathtub, eyes closed. Dean had gone on a hunt and this was your only way to relax and not think about his well-being. That's why you always said goodbye to him with a kiss and a hug, wishing him luck and asking him to return safely. You knew he was a professional and knew how to handle himself, but the fear was still there.

You were so deep in thought that you didn't hear Dean open the bathroom door. The first thing he had done when he arrived was look for you and when he didn't find you, he went to the room you both shared. He saw the closed bathroom door and the light peeking out from underneath and a mischievous smile spread across his face. He placed his bag at the foot of the bed before walking to the door.

Your body was so relaxed that your sixth sense failed when Dean approached.

“Enjoying your time alone?”

You jumped, opening your eyes in surprise. The water in the tub swayed, some falling to the bathroom floor. You put a hand to your chest, feeling your heart racing.

“God, Dean! Why do you have to be so quiet? You almost gave me cardiac arrest.”

Dean just laughed and raised both hands in peace.

“I'm sorry, honey, didn't mean to.”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest, drawing Dean's gaze to that spot.

“So…” He looked over your body.

"So?"

They exchanged glances and he ran a hand over his mouth.

“Is there some space left in that bathtub?”

You smiled sideways and shrugged.

“I don't know, maybe.”

"Maybe?"

"Maybe..."

He nodded and placed his hands on his hips.

“Well… We better find out.” He said before taking off his shoes along with his socks.

You laughed as he stepped into the tub still dressed, standing in front of you as the water rippled back and forth.

"What are you doin’?"

He took off his shirt and lowered himself until he was close to your face, keeping his balance by gripping the edges of the tub.

“You look beautiful like this, doll.”

He closed the short distance and kissed you, his tongue immediately intertwining with yours. You didn't waste your time, not after having him away. You ran your hands over his hard chest and lowered them to his belt, taking it off before unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them and his boxers down as far as you could.

Seconds later, he was inside you, water spilling around you as you moaned. Your nails scratching his back as his cock hit the inside of your pussy again and again, rubbing against your walls wonderfully.

“You feel so good, doll.” He rested his forehead on yours as he watched your expressions.

“I missed you.” You muttered.

“I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.”

And as it all built you felt comforted beneath him, most of your body submerged in the water, your legs around his hips and his breath on your face.

You wished it would last forever.

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[eternal-echoes]

“Your child says she's trans. Now what? Many parents are frightened that if they don't affirm the child's declared gender identity, they could lose their child. In fact, some trans activists openly discuss how they train family court judges to view parental hesitation as a form a "medical neglect."(2) As a result, some parents can lose custody of their children if they don't consent to hormones and surgery.(3) Therefore, what should you do if your child claims to be trans? If you don't affirm her proclaimed gender identity, are you rejecting her?

First off, here's what not to do: Don't freak out, be dismissive, tell her it's just a phase, try to win a debate, convince her she's immature, or remind her that the frontal lobe of her brain isn't fully developed. Upon reading this, some parents might think, "Okay, I already managed to do all of that during our first conversation, and now she's locked in her room with her earphones on, not answering the door, and probably staring at her cellphone screen again. Any suggestions for damage control?"

When the dust settles, approach her gently and say, "I want to apologize. I'm sorry I didn't handle that very well. I honestly wasn't sure what to think or what to say. Do you mind if I could try to listen again?" Although teenagers often have a short attention span when listening to their parents, they have a surprisingly long one when parents offer a sincere apology. Nonetheless, if she spouts off a snarky reply, give her a pass this time. Let her air her grievances.

Should she be willing to reengage in a conversation, here are ten tips for your initial discussions:

One: Express gratitude that she has shared this information with you. Odds are, these feelings have been brewing in her mind for quite some time, but she was afraid to talk to you about them. She might have privately navigated through stages of initial awareness about her gender dysphoria, followed by waves or confusion, shame, exploration, self-rejection, resignation, and acceptance. For her to confide in you more deeply about where she's at in this process, she'll need to feel safe.

Two: Express reverent curiosity. By the time she talks to you about this, she has probably spent countless hours learning about the subject online and discussing it with others. If you don't understand concepts or terms she uses, invite her to explain what she means by them. If some of them strike you as absurd, unscientific, or theologically unsound, now is not the time to debate. Listen and learn what she's thinking. If you show her that you're willing to listen to her, in due time she'll value what you have to say in return. If she's open to sharing with you some of the sources where she's learned about the topic of gender, take the time to explore what they are saying, so you can better understand what she's thinking. In time, as she sees that you're willing to learn more about what matters to her, she may be open to reviewing resources you could share with her, that charitably call into question some of the ideologies she may have internalized.

Three: Be empathetic. Don't try to disprove her feelings. Rather, find places where you agree and might be able to affirm her ache or discontent. You could say, "I can see why you would feel constrained by the way the world expects people to fit into stereotypes. That makes sense." Although you might not agree on what it means for her live as her "authentic self," you can affirm her desire to live authentically. You could also affirm that this must be difficult to experience and acknowledge that you realize she didn't choose to feel this way. It's possible to validate her feelings without validating her reasoning, beliefs, and ideology. You could add, "I can see this has been very hard on you. I hear what you're saying, and I want to help. Thank you for trusting me with this."

Four: Rather than interrogating her, ask thoughtful questions. For example, "Can you tell me more about this? I want to understand." "What can I do for you?" "What has it been like to tell me about this? It must have taken courage." As your conversations deepen with time, you might be able to gradually map out the history of conflicts she has felt with her sexual identity. For example, "When did you start feeling this way?" "What was happening in your life at that time?" "When does the discomfort feel most intense?" For some individuals, gender dysphoria is like a white noise always playing in the background of their lives. For others, it fluctuates in intensity, and certain things such as formal attire and events (where individuals are expected to dress in a strictly masculine or feminine way) could trigger dysphoria. Another female recalled, "I felt the most dysphoric in my teenage years just in my bedroom.”(4) As you learn more about her experiences, you can discover ways to avoid triggering some of the distress.

Five: Don't debate her memories, even if they seem embellished. Parents of gender dysphoric teens often note that their child often reinterprets their childhood history through a transgender lens. Rather than trying to disprove her recollection, listen to her perception.

Six: Be humble. If she points out some of your flaws and the hurts that you have caused, own what you can without blame-shifting. Seek forgiveness where it is needed. Often, parents worry that if they admit blame, they empower their children to hold things against them. The opposite is true. When children witness authentic vulnerability, they learn from example that ownership of one's shortcomings is a trait to be emulated.

Seven: Remind her that she is loved. Reaffirm that you will never leave her, no matter what. Explain that God loves her unconditionally as well. Perhaps you could take this moment to also apologize on behalf of the Church if she has ever been alienated by members of her faith community. Reassure her that God loves her, that He desires a personal relationship with her, and that the Church is her home. Assure her of your prayers and encourage her to have a genuine prayer life as well.

Eight: Listen for deeper motives. Drs. Yarhouse and Sadusky write:

What motivates their gender atypical behavior varies. Teens may engage in atypical expression to manage gender dysphoria, reduce anxiety about body image, express a sense of "true self," experience sexual arousal, seek entertainment, or respond to boredom. Moreover, some teens do appear to be in a search for identity and community.(5)

Each person's motivation is their own. But by listening well, you can gradually discover that there are often motives that run much deeper than simply the profession, "I'm trans." What might appear on the surface to be a feeling of inadequacy could have a layer of shame beneath it, and self-hatred at the core. Insofar as these or other deeper factors surface, try to help them distinguish how they feel from who they are. Your unconditional love will help her to explore difficult emotions such as resentment, anger, hurt, and self-loathing, so that the deeper unmet needs can be addressed with healthy strategies.

Nine: Don't pull away from your child. The topic of gender can cause so much relational friction that some parents opt for a "flight" response, hoping the difficulty will spontaneously resolve if they ignore it long enough. One young woman recalled that as she was wrestling with the idea of gender, she felt as if she were being pushed in a "confused and desperate head space" by her parent's isolated attitude toward her. Speaking of her mother, she wished that she "would have shown a bit more understanding and asked me some questions and talked to me like I was a human being going through a struggle rather than a problem to be solved."(6) So, rather than viewing her as a problem to be solved, consider her to be a mystery to be gradually revealed. According to existing research on the well-being of LGBT-identifying young people, the best predictor of their well-being over time is the quality of their relationship with you, their parents.(7)

Ten: Buy yourself time. You could say, "To be honest, this is a lot for me to understand. But I can tell that this really matters to you, and so I want you to know that I take this seriously because of that. I need some time to process our conversation and learn more about this." Telling her that you need time enables you to avoid making any major decisions or promises (other than love) in your initial conversations. It allows you time to strategize how to help them manage their dysphoria in the least invasive manner possible. Further, it models the type of thoughtful discernment around complexity that you hope your child would emulate.”

-Jason Evert, Male, Female, or Other: A Catholic Guide to Understanding Gender

—

Work cited:

2) Julian Vigo, "Capitulating to Bullies: Brown University and the Transgender Lobby vs. Science," Public Discourse (October 7, 2018).

3) Cf. Ryan Anderson, "Parents Denied Custody of Child for Refusing Support of Transgenderism: Here's What You Need to Know," Lifesitenews.com, February 19, 2018.

4) "DETRANSITION Q&A (#1)," https://youtu.be/kxVmSGTgNxI.

5) Mark Yathouse and Julia Sadusky, Emerging Gender Identities (Ada, MI: Brazos Press, 2020), 67.

6) "DETRANSITION Q&A (#1)," https://youtu.be/kxVmSGTgNxI.

7) Cf. Yarhouse and Sadusky, Emerging Gender Identities, 66.

—

For more recommended resources on gender dysphoria, click here.

[cultural-marxism-official]

@quickscribe i really have to address your tags here

first of all, we are not seeing a small and specific perspective, we are in the capital of the enslaving empire, we are in the slums of the slave capital city. if not here, then where would we see it?

second, this notion is extremely incorrect, we need only look to slavery in america, where enslavement, abuse and the sale of people was frequently done out in the open, many auctions took place outside on the town square for all to see. Slave auctions were openly advertised in newspapers and magazines as SLAVE AUCTIONS, not as some covert get together of "only the bad apples" in their evil basement.

It was not behind closed doors, people were not shy about owning human beings and abusing their slaves, it had widespread societal approval. You would see people in chains on the street probably every single day because enslavement was a core principle in the economy, that's why they had a whole war about it, half the nation didn't believe you could run a country without slaves. You can't hide that, nor did they care to. They didn't think it was taboo, they thought it was racially justified.

This is the case with most nations that practiced slavery. When you are of the mindset to own a person, you don't think of them as your equal, you don't even think it's wrong, because slave owners did not see their slaves as full human beings. Just as tevinter see slaves, and elves on a whole as fundamentally lesser than them.

to reduce it down to "just a few bad people do it and theyre shy about it, and they feel bad about it" is very reductive. There's no nuance to be found in how veilguard handles the subject of slavery, because it simply doesnt do it. If this was the case, how come no tevinter character says as much?

"yeah no the whole slavery thing is just southern propaganda, we dont really do that much enslaving" I must have missed all the dialog talking about that then, even a 100 hours in. It certainly did subvert my expectations of having slavery present after all the...you know... lore talking about the very real slavery issue, and the entirety of fenris and dorians characters being traumatized by it from both ends of the blade.

but yeah sure, i hate nuance

a really cool part about dragon age veilguard is the first scene where you meet bellara, especially if you're a shadowdragon mage and you have neve with you

so to set the scene: bellara, the dalish elf who's devoted her life to the conservation, discovery and protection of her people's lost and ancient history, meets two strangers, two tevinter mages, in sacred arlathan. They tell her, hey your gods are back in the world but also they suck and we gotta kill them, and instead of telling them "fuck off you vile enslaving shem, you defile this land with your presence" like most normal dalish, not only does she instantly believe them that her gods are bad for some reason, they're back among the people and need to be stopped, she also happily starts telling them all kinds of secrets and valuable knowledge about ancient elven magic and is even so kind to, without question, take them on a grand tour of this very historically important and sacred ruin in arlathan to find a truly priceless artifact, a one of a kind archive of ancient elven knowledge thought lost forever, because really, what could these unknown tevinter mages possible want with that!

...

are these writers smoking crack?? is that it? theyre smoking crack??

[zaine-m]

I like to think that Jayce and Viktor get a happy ending in the other universe too

Jayce feels awful that hextech took a life. Especially seeing powder (who is around the same age he was when him and his mom were saved by hextech) holding her dead sister's body

He says similar things as in the start of the trial but now fully meaning them and never mentions trying to create magic

Vander comes to Jayce's trial and stands up for him, saying he's just a stupid kid with a dream to help people who didn't know what he was doing

"Vi's with her mom now, let Jayce go home to his"

He does still sneak into his lab to attempt suicide but this time Viktor's "am I interrupting?" doesn't do anything, Jayce just turns back around and jumped, not being able to handle the guilt of accidentally taking a life while also realizing his life's work only caused harm

He survives the attempt and wakes up in a hospital bed, paralyzed from the waist down with his mother crying next to him

Viktor comes in a bit later while his mom is out making some food for him

His tone is completely too cold for the situation. Jayce is in complete despair and Viktor refuses to match the mood

He says most of the same stuff about how hextech can change people's lives but Jayce responds "yeah, well so far all it's done is a take the life of an innocent child"

"ehh, she was from the undercity. I grew up there, many children did not live to see adulthood"

"How does that make anything better?"

"Because this has the potential to change that. One explosion? There are toxic fumes and polluted waters slowly killing hundreds of children each year"

"Even if I wanted to I'm banned from the academy and ..." *waves at legs*

"pshh, you think trenchers are supposed to be at the academy and everything I did in my life I did while being disabled"

"Listen, I can't help you"

Viktor leaves Jayce's bracelet by his bed and heads towards the door. Jayce takes one look at it and throw it across the room in anger. "you probably shouldn't throw that", "GET OUT!"

A while later Vander comes to invite Jayce to Vi's memorial at the last drop

Jayce feels so guilty when he first comes into the last drop, everyone is staring at him

He sees Ekko, the kind little kid who had sold him such reasonably prices wares just days before his experiments accidentally killed his friend

Powder just starting going at him when she first sees him, her weak child-who-has-never-punched-before fists do very little damage especially because she's going so fast she doesn't fully pull her hands back

Jayce just lets her at it, crying and apologizing between the blows

Vander comes to pull Powder off of him, "it wasn't his fault, he didn't know how dangerous the materials were" she just looks back and screams at him before going back to her bedroom

Vander takes Jayce on a walk through the undercity to talk,

"Everyone in there knew what I did?"

"huh, no?"

"they were looking at me like I was a monster"

"yeah, that's cause you're dressed like a piltie"

"ohh, ha... I'm so sorry about what happened to Vi"

"It's a shame, but she's with her parents now"

*Jayce looks down, only feeling worse finding out the girl he killed was an orphan*

"You want to know how her parents died?" *they arrive at the bridge* "I thought I could help the undercity, create a better world by fighting for sovereignty. I led us across this bridge and lost so many people in the process, the undercity is still recovering"

"I'm so sorry"

"I was like you, I was young and ambitious and I wanted to help people. But you know what I learned. You don't need to make giant leaps to help the people around you"

On the way back Vander points out all the ways he's helped different people in the undercity, helping them make a business plan, caring for their kids when they were sick, helping them find a community at the last drop

He also points out all the things that could be helped like roofs with holes in them and cliffs that should have railings

"You don't need hextech to help the world, Jayce"

Jayce spends his time between his family's forge doing hammer work and around the undercity working as a handyman, building what he can to help people

Eventually he tracks down Viktor, hoping to find ways to make a more systemic change for things like the dirty water and polluted air

Viktor works on studies surveying the living conditions of those in the undercity and seeing what affects it has on expected lifespan and the likelihood of developing different diseases to present to the council

That along with the more pro-Zaun push that's been happening since Vi's death he gets quite a bit of work done

While he's doing this Jayce does what he can to start implementing changes by making water filters and distributing masks to those in the slump levels

After a few years Jayce petitions to be let back into the academy to help Viktor with his work on a formal level and with outstanding testimonials from many people in the undercity he's let back in

When their work making the undercity safer is done they move onto studying how to treat the various illnesses people in the undercity have suffered from living there

first starting with Viktor's various physical health issues and finding that a lot of his issues come from it never being studied how to use mobility aids and how improper use can put a strain on other parts of your body so he switched to a forearm crutch to help his back

I'm gonna say in this universe Viktor just has severe asthma which they're able to find medicines to treat so he still has issues breathing in a lot of the undercity, he just wears a mask most of the time and keeps his medication with him

Viktor and Jayce end up dating but it happens to slowly that it's hard to realize, they just spend all their time together working on their research and then they get an apartment together because they were both looking for roommates

Jayce stopped looking for people to date after the accident because he was going through a big life change and never got back in the game and Viktor always rejected anyone, saying he was too busy with his studies

Jayce is just physically affectionate in a way where hugging Viktor a lot turns into Viktor sitting on his lap whenever his leg is sore turns into Jayce playing with Viktor's hair when he's bored turns into them cuddling on the couch turns into them cuddling in bed turns into kisses on the forehead when one of them is sick turns into kisses when they're not sick

They're at the last drop one day and Viktor gets up off Jayce's lap to use with washroom and Vander asks Jayce, "so you think you'll propose soon" Jayce almost spits out his food, "what, what do you mean?"

"I mean you've been dating for like what 5 years now. You gotta pop the question sooner or later"

"umm... yeah" wait fuck are we dating, have we been dating for 5 years, what

In bed that night: "Viktor, I... I think I might like you... like romantically. I guess I never thought about it but I was talking to Vander and... and you've been the most important person in my life for the past like 6 years"

"Jayce, I thought we were dating? How are you only realizing this now"

"ohh"

"I called you my partner"

"I thought you meant like research partner"

"we kissed a lot"

"I thought those were like just for comfort... between friends"

*Viktor kisses him passionately but not the most passionately they've kissed before*

"Does that seem like it would be between friends?"

"heh, now that you mention it I guess not"

[anxiousapplepie]

Do you think any of the siffrins have the same touch miscommunication of everyone in the party thinking they don't like touch but they actually really like touch?

I feel like it would be amusing to drag the siffrins through the mud this way regardless of how different they are. With perhaps the only exception being housemaiden siffrin? Like flinching due to touch is something that isn't easily changed, so the potential is there.

You could even argue housemaiden siffrins case though it would be harder with him being an unconscious cuddle bug. but like if you ingrained the "people think you are gross to touch" early enough you could pull it off. As he would pull away first in the hopes of in part sparing his own feelings and mostly sparing the others having to touch him.

(I know I'm reaching at this point) you could have it be as he made his travels though various houses people noted his reaction to touch and he noted there reaction to touching him, how it would start strong in a new house before tapering off the longer he stayed, until eventually people would just not touch him unless absolutely nessicary and even in those cases hesitate, after all there isn't a lot you can say to someone with a very small grasp on the language you speak so actions would speak the thousand words they can't communicate and both would leave off with the wrong idea.

HEHEHE you bet I'm still gonna play with Siffrin's touch miscommunication in all the roleswap AUs because good grief it's too much fun to ignore! But every AU is gonna have a different way of handling it, I think! Fighter!Siffrin clears up the "I like touch! I'm just not used to it!" VERY quickly because they were the first teammate Housemaiden!Bonnie got. And Bonnie clicked that he just needed a lil warning like Nille, and they taught everybody to give Sif the heads up before any touchy-touchy happens. Researcher!Siffrin's cloak is so thick and heavy that normally bumping into them doesn't bother them- but without the cloak they forget how jumpy they can be. They clear up the confusion before they reach Dormont, though (was it awkward and embarrassing for them to admit they weren't used to skin-to-skin contact? you betcha! <3) Cook!Siffrin is the closest to OG Siffrin- everybody make assumptions and they had no idea everybody was treating them like a scared animal that didn't want to be touched. Traveler!Mira will fix that mistake when she's in the timeloops. And for Housemaiden!Siffrin? hahahahaaaaaa my favorite awful goat child. He wants to be touched and hugged and held so badly all the time, but doesn't want to be annoying or greedy without a reason. Not even Mira understands how deep it goes, despite them being feeling buddies for years. Your musings are a VERY good take and grief it just makes me want to hug Sif because it's all too much and too little and GIMME THAT ANGST AND MISUNDERSTANDING!!!

[kanyerealdaughter]

#EX BOYFRIEND

sexual content , masturbation (f,reader) , cussing , intercourse , creampie , *cum tasting a bit*

—————————————————

right now you’re currently driving to your ex boyfriend suguru house. you have no clue how to handle it to be completely honest, you never been too good with emotions but you both left on good terms and everything but you just can't stop the need you feel him one last time.

you pulled into his driveway preparing yourself to get all your stuff and leave as quickly as possible. you walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. after a few minutes he appears in the doorway, looking' sexier than ever. you were snapped out of the battle with your subconscious by his voices speaking out in a concerned tone.

" uh- you good..?"

" mhm, uh y-yeah, fine i just came to get my stuff remember." you replied weakly.

" well you're gonna come in?" he asked in his raspy voice, steppin' out of the way, letting me into his house.

you look over at the kitchen and remember all the times he fucked your from behind. so deep in you, so... rough. and the living room where he'd prop your legs up on the coffee table and eat you out. suckin on your clit…

your breathing picked up and you don't know what to do. your underwear is getting wetter by the second and you can't do anything about it... or can you? once the idea pops into your head, there's no turning back. you have to do it. you need to do it.

" um suguru can i use your bathroom?" you ask , pretending that you have to use the bathroom badly.

“ oh uh- sure. you remember where it's at right?" you nodded and headed off to the bathroom.

once you’re outta sight, you rush in, shutting and locking the door behind you. you don’t waste any time taking your jeans and underwear off. mmm you’re so wet… you don't even bother taking your shirt and bra off, you wanna make this quick.

you slowly insert your middle finger and it slides in with ease from all the wetness. you start to pump and move your hand. in and out. in and out. in...out. over and over. fuck it. you need this. you pick up speed, lifting your left leg up onto the sink for better access.

" mmm." you moan softly before putting your free fingers into your mouth to shut yourself up.

you can't be loud but it feels so good. you bite your knuckle harder in an attempt to hush yourself but it's useless. you move your hand quicker. the lightning fast speed of your fingers is amazing. you started to think of suguru. his big dick thrusting into you with quick speed. both of your skin hitting together because of his fast, hard pace.

" fuck." you muffled into your knuckles. his balls slapping against your ass cheeks. both of your moans and grunts are drowning out the others. you’re whimpering. you want to scream but you can't. you want him to fuck you so bad. you imagine him talking dirty to you even more.

" fuck, you like that i know you like it.

“ scream for me ma.." that was all it took to drive you over the edge.

" fuck yes..!"

you came all over your hand, hard. as much as you wish it were him you were cummin' for, you guess this will have to do. you clean yourself off realizing you’ve probably been in here for too long. you washed all your wetness and juices away from your hands, dried them and then went to leave.

as you opened the door, you found a very satisfied ex boyfriend suguru getting off right in front of the door. either he didn't care if you saw or he hadn't heard you come out.

whatever the case may be, you didn't care. you suddenly felt hot again. you once more felt the urge to have him inside of you again. watching him get off because of your moans from the other side of the door really turned you on. you need to feel him in you, at least one more time.

as you watched him, you could feel your juices pooling up as they did before. bitting your lip, you reach out and touch his dick. he looks up at you and you could see his once big dark purple eyes. eyes darken.

he stops and in a blink of an eye, you're pinned up against the bathroom door. with a strong large hand over your neck, his lips dive towards yours, connecting in a passionate yet lustful kiss. it was harsh and forceful, making your knees go weak. if he wasn't holding you up you would have fallen.

your hand instinctively wrapped around his hard cock, pumping in an attempt to please him. a quiet moan could be heard escaping his lips, that were molded together with yours, sending a long satisfying shiver down your spine. i need him in you now.

" i need you." you said in between kisses.

" i'm glad you said that ma i need you too my dick hard.." he said as a smile crept up on his face.

and with that he pulled his pants up and picked you up, carrying you to his room. when we reached your destination, he threw you on his bed and began stripping.

starting with his shirt, then his pants, then his boxers. you both kept eye contact as you began to get undressed with him taking off your shirt along with your push up bra.

when you both were done, he crawled up between your legs pushing you up on the bed. he once again connected your lips as he moved one of his hands to your breast. he squeezed and rolled my hard nipple earning soft moans from you.

you started to whine, letting him know that you can't wait any longer. a smirk draws across his face while he moves his hand down to my heat, collecting some of your juices on his finger, he stops kissing you and puts it in his mouth. he moaned lightly at the taste of you causing your hips to buck up at the sight.

he looked down and grabbed his dick and started rubbing it against your slit. pushing it a little to your clit, your legs shook. you’re so wet that he accidentally slid in hard, slamming into you, causing him to groan at the pleasure.

" you're still so tight fuck ma." he said in a low whisper. you moaned in response his pace started off slow but then soon quickened as his heavy breaths you felt in the crook of your neck. his thrusting grew harder. the bed creaked and rocked with his and yours movements.

" u-uh yess!." you moaned. it feels so good his grunts fill the room along with your moans.

" fuck ma you been givin my pussy..?" he whispered groaning at the end of his sentence.

you shake your no.

" words mama." he groaned.

" no o-ohh fuck." you gained the confidence too say no. he smack ass leaving a handprint thrusting into you kissing your cervix fasting into you even more making you moan.

" tell me, who does this pussy belong to?" he said while lifting my legs up by his shoulders, fucking me deeper.

(yesss kinggg lmfaooo ignore this.)

“ y-you." you barely got out in between your panting and loud moans.

" louder." he demanded.

" y-you suguru you suguru FUCKK.! u-uhh so deep..!" you ended up screaming, causing him to smirk.

" mhm." was all he said.

" fuck. f-faster." you said wanting more. his pace quickened from what it was before as all you could hear was his and yours skin slapping together.

" n-nugh!" you screamed. he was so deep and big he filled you up kissing your cervix once again

" s-shit..!" your back arched as your felt your orgasm forming.

" i-im gonna c-cum!" he stopped causing you to whimper.

" no.. fuck why suguru..?" you whined. he didn't answer but instead flipped you over to where your ass was up in the air and your back was arched. face in the comforter.

suddenly there was a sting on your ass cheek. smack. the skin on skin contact of his hand colliding with your plump ass made you moan.

" you like that." he said with a smile forming on his face.

smack another hard slap echoing throughout the room, the sound bouncing off the walls. you moaned again, this time a little louder. without warning he slammed his dick back into your soaking wet pussy making you scream at the sudden pressure.

his thrusting was quick and hard just like before. your pussy throbbed. your ass slapped against his front, reddening your cheeks smack.

" ooh fuck!"

it feels too good smack. he continued his thrusting that soon became irregular and uneven, getting even more sloppy. he was close and so was you.

" cum for me ma. cum all over my dick mamas ." you couldn't hold on anymore. your orgasm ripped through you like a tidal wave, but he didn't stop.

" ahh! f-fuck! fuck suguruuu!" his dick twitched inside you.

" mmm." he hummed.

“ scream my name again.” he said, his breath being just as scattered as his thrusts.

" suguru!" you screamed moaning right after.

" f-fuck ma..!" he stopped deep in you, filling you up with his hot spurts of cum. you shook and screamed into the comforter. you both stayed in that position catching your breaths for a few minutes and then he pulled out.

he cleaned up and then you both laid in his bed talking for about an hour until you finally decided to get dressed and head home. he stopped you right outside his front door by grabbing' your waist and pulling you into a kiss slapping your sensitive ass making you yelled out a yelp. he broke it off and tilted your head up to look at him looking him in his dark purple eyes.

" come back anytime you'd like and we can do this again ma." he winked at you but being all serious and then disappeared back into his house.

the drive home was silent. you didn't listen to any music, you just sat there thinking...

𖣂 KANYEREALDAUGHTER SPEAKS - old wattpad story.. since i couldn’t think of nothing.

words - 1.8k

» , ᴀ ᴋᴀɴʏᴇʀᴇᴀʟᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ

copyright ©️. ᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ . «

[cultlix]

𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

pair. soft dom! chris x sub/virgin! fem reader | genre. established relationship, power imbalance, slight angst, smut| warnings. use of pet names, dirty talking, profanity, penetrative/unprotected sex.

synopsis. "You've ruined me, I'm destroyed. How could any other girl be good, be enough for me after you?"

author's note. i wished it was him...

➽──────────────❥

"Scared?"

"Should I be, oppa?"

He shook his head. "You'll never be in danger with me. Unless you like it."

"I didn't know what I liked until I saw you."

Chris loved the pressure of your body on top of him while you were kissing, on his unmade bed, the silken cascade of your long strands tickling his nose, his cheeks, the delicate perfume of your skin burning everytime you met his faintly elusive gaze, under his daintily skilled touch, and the hesitant swinging of your tiny waist against his prominent lenght, a foretaste of what would have defiled you ceaselessly all night.

"Baby doll, beware, if you let me be the first to fuck you the only way I know how to fuck pretty cunts like yours, I swear, you'll be cursed forever."

He raised his lower back, flaunting his hardness, his thickness, making your mouth hang open when your still coated sex rubbed casually against his stirred, throbbing protuberance.

"Please," you said, voice incredibly clear, limpid to his ears, like a sudden rainfall of crystals shattering on the floor, "d-don't make me w-wait, oppa. C-can't wait to see w-what you'll do o-of me."

Sweet, rotten angel, can't even finish a sentence without miserably stumbling at the thought of getting fucked for the first time ,like she deserves, like the surreal, reckless, unaware temptress she is.

You flipped your hair, the long, disheveled cascade now falling wildly on your naked shoulders as you unhooked the front closure of your bra, taking his hands in yours, quivering, guiding them on your fair, flawless breasts, making him tighten his grasp to indulge in their tempting round shape.

So desirable, and still so inexplicably insecure, he thought, tracing with his thumbs your already turgid nipples, making you close your eyes and call his name like a fervent prayer in breathy sighs, does she even notices, imagines the effect she has on men?

He moistened his full lips, tired of anticipating, and lifted up just enough to put his hungry mouth on your extremely sensitive, rosy nub, sucking avidly on it, making you cry and tilt your head back.

"You want oppa to go slow?"

He pulled up your skirt and pushed aside your panties, circling unhurriedly your clit, making you so pathetically wet that you couldn't help but blush seeing how your honey-like essence irreparably soiled the fabric of his black jeans.

"You need oppa to make sure if you can really take his massive cock inside this untouched, sacred pussy of yours?"

He let two long fingers slid inside your crevice, going so harshly deep that you thought you would pass out. Chris started moving, in and out, carefully at first, then with a certain eagerness when he felt your hips instinctly following the agonizing rhythm of his movements.

"Goddamn, your smell, so intense…You really want me to fuck you so bad, angel? Shit, you look amazing while struggling with all your strenghts to keep my fingers in like this, in this thight, little paradise you call cunt, but will you handle the roughest part of me? Tell me, do you think you can really hold it there? Because once you'll let me penetrate you, deflower you, I know I won't be able to stop. I'll spoil you, baby doll. I'm gonna wreck all your precious doll parts, you know this?"

You whimpered, biting your lower lip, nodding. "The good girl you are," Chris praised you, slithering gently a third digit and curling it languidly, simultaneously with the others, watching you hissing, taking a fistful of his hair to fight the pain. "See, you can barely take another one, and we're not even close to what your body is going to experience."

Teardrops glistening on your eyelashes like morning dew on velvety rose petals.

"Am I not enough for you, Chris?" you asked him, dropping the honorific for the first time since you've met him, holding back the sadness, rejecting the thought of being nothing to him. "Am I not good like the other girls you had before?"

Chris watched your eyes become teary for the first time, and he felt like a part of him died the moment he knew he was somehow responsable for that. He couldn't tolerate it, he won't ever be able to endure it no more. He gently pulled his fingers out of you, letting the rapture wait, his desire arrest a little bit longer.

"Is it me who makes you believe you're not the prettiest I've ever seen? The only purest, perfect creature my tired eyes have truly met? Then punish me baby doll," he whispered sincerely with apprehension, grabbing your tiny wrist and using your clenched fist to attempt hitting his sculpted chest, "hit me. I don't deserve to be your first, to call you mine, if I can't make you see how much of a real man only you can make me feel. Look what you do to me."

He unzipped his jeans, letting his aching erection darting free from any constriction, then guided your hand on it. "Shit, do you even imagine how much self control I needed to forbid my instict to fuck you like an animal to prevail everytime you were sleeping next to me? Every single time you accidentally rubbed against my cock when I cuddled you from behind? You've ruined me, I'm destroyed. How could any other girl be good, be enough for me after you?"

Chris slapped himself aggressively in the face, his cheek turning ruby red. "I'm fucking bad, baby. I've been the worst if I ever made you doubt of me. Hit me."

"Oppa, please."

He took off his shirt and did it again, even more violently then before, then clutched his grasp around your wrist again. Your tears now flowing copiously, blurring your vision, hazing your mind.

"Come on baby, right here, on my heart, do it, hurt me like I've hurt you."

"Oppa, no. I don't want this," you cried frustrated, trying to fight against his will, but he was stronger, so much stronger and determined to suffer.

"Why?" he asked, mad at himself more than ever.

"Chris, stop," you cried, voice breaking and shaking.

"Why?" he insisted, his tone too peremptory to be ignored.

"Because I fucking love you."

You screamed at the top of your lungs, words still floating in the room, echoing in the narcotic stillness of the night, the only remedy to placate his fury, the only antidote to cure his pain, his torn soul.

"Let me be yours. I wanna be the only girl who can have you. I wanna turn into everything you've ever dreamed of, into everything you've ever needed."

He smiled, caressing your chin fondly.

"I didn't know what I needed until I saw you."

You kissed him, and it felt like drifting, like losing a part of yourself forever in that sublime exchange of minds and souls when you captured his lips in yours, stealing his breath, devouring his spirit.

Chris grabbed you firmly and pushed you against the mattress, onto his sheets, pulling down your skirt, making your panties slide down to your ankles, throwing them somewhere at the foot of the bed. He got up, taking off his pants alongside with his underwear. He positioned himself between your legs, unmoving, just admiring how breathtaking you were like this, with nothing on, exposed, frail underneath his ravenous gaze.

You grabbed his cock, so huge in your little palm, and massaged the tip delicately with your thumb, sprinkling it in his white, pearlescent fluid.

"Fuck honey, don't tease if you still want me to be gentle with you," he panted, not doing anything to make you stop though.

You giggled silently, secretly amused by his uncontrolled reaction.

"Does oppa like it like this?" you whispered.

"Oppa loves it."

You pushed the tip against your soft folds, rubbing it against your clit and the edge of your entrance. Chris cursed, shuddering, almost losing his balance, all the weight of his body risking to crash over yours.

"And like this? Does oppa like it better like this?"

"Fuck yes, so much better."

He pulled your body closer to his and spread your legs the widest he could.

"God, you're a fucking vision. So soaking wet, so open. Like this baby, rain for me, I'm so thirsty I'm gonna drain you, I'm gonna suck you dry," he warned, bending down to reach your sex glistening in your arousal, inhaling its forbidden scent deeply, making you flush, making you whine in ecstasy when he rubbed his upper lip against your swollen clit.

"Oppa wants a taste, will you let him?"

You nodded, incapable of articulating anything similar to a consent.

"Let me hear it coming from those lovely lips."

"Oppa?" you said, gulping, his nose already stroking your sensitive slit.

"Yes, baby doll?"

"I need your mouth on me, oppa, wanna feel your tongue, but please, please, let me cum on you, with you, let it happen when you're inside me."

"Is that what you want?"

"More than anything else."

"Then you don't need to ask."

Chris could feel your body writhing convulsively underneath his voracious wet muscle as he licked with extreme accuracy every inch, every soft ripple of your slippery folds, letting your flavor invade his cavity, permeating his palate, and your inebriating perfume dulling his senses like the finest of drugs.

You grabbed a fistful of his hair, moaning, as he sucked on your clit, flattening his tongue, using the tip to violate your immaculate fissure. He groaned satisfied, drinking greedily from that inexhaustible source of pleasure, the guttural sounds coming from his throat vibrating against it, sending fiery, violent frissons down your spine.

You arched your back and he helped you raise your waist to have full access on each perfect, most secret part of you, but you suddenly tried to stop him, gripping gently the long strands brushing against the nape of his neck, rebelling to his feral appetite, wanting to escape from that immeasurable delight.

"C-Chris…w-what…" you mumbled, too weak to protest, to withstand any longer.

"Oppa lied, sweetheart. He's such a demanding bastard. How is he even supposed to resist when your cunt tastes like fucking heaven? Tell me. I told you I wouldn't be able to stop, that I would have fucking spoiled you so bad."

His licking, still so precise, became quicker, feverish, his sucking vehement, avid, the tip of his tongue hitting persistently your yielding cleft, going everytime a little bit further.

You whined, cursing, crying desperate at the sensation, every limb spasming. "Y-you p-promised…"

"Never been a man of value," he confessed under his breath, looking at you through his long eyelashes, "I'm a son of a bitch, baby doll, not fucking prince charming."

You pulled his hair, without even noticing that you were rocking your hips towards his mouth to feel it moving again on you, but he stood still, remaining impassive.

"Beg me," he teased provocatively, "do it properly, and I'll stop."

You attempted to speak, to formulate any kind of plea, of request, but your words came out like nothing more but feeble, breathy sounds, confused truncated gasps.

"Fuck, C-Chris…"

His lips still cruelly consuming you, busy torturing you. "You can't do better than this, can you?"

"Please," you implored, breathless, exhausted, but in a surprisingly clear, firm voice.

Chris gazed into your eyes with defiance.

"Sorry honey," he purred, "I can't hear you."

One more deliberate twist, one last measured swirl around your irresistibly slick core, then Chris' tongue flicked inside your inviting slit, repeatedly, obsessively, so in to the hilt that he perceived a storm of irrepressible jolts coming from your body, shaking, screaming to let go. Cum, he finally granted, groaning, cum now, and you did, finally surrendering to him, jerking, cursing, crying, gushing so much, so shamelessly that you painted his chin, his lips, his mouth in your dense, snow-white nectar.

Chris drank every single drop of your orgasm, then got on his knees again on the bed. He lay his body over yours, so willowy, so fragile underneath his imposing one, and tried to kiss you, but you turned the other way.

He smiled, patiently. "You mad at me?"

You did not answer.

He pressed his lips on your temple gently, leaving a long trail of kisses on your cheek, on your neck, on your collarbone, going down to your breast where he sucked on your nipple, biting it, making you moan again, whine like he loved so much.

"I wanted you," you complained.

"And you'll have me," he said, taking your hand to guide it on his bulging, pulsing hardness. "Can't you see how much I want to see you cum with my cock buried inside you? But trust me, you weren't ready. I know what's best, you would have just hurt yourself, and I don't want this."

His hand dangerously slid to your overstimulated sex, fingers slowly sinking in your walls and coming out. "Fuck, still so thight baby, a bundle of nerves down there, and you don't even know you haven't felt anything yet."

You took his face in your hands, your piercing eyes meeting his, blurred by urge and lust.

"Fuck me, oppa. Do it till it pleases you, till it hurts me, till nobody will ever take me, will ever want me again, till I'd be nothing but doll parts scattered on your bed. I'm fucking yours, I don't care about the rest. Fuck me, please, fuck me now, fuck me hard, I need you, I love you."

Chris suddenly wrapped one arm around your hips to pull you closer to his frame, to trap you entirely under his weight, then grabbed your thighs and made your legs clasp around his waist solidly.

"Damn baby, the things you do to me when you talk like this. You're so docile and persuasive. I really wanted to go slow, doing it as it should be done, but God, you make it so difficult, you're not really bringing out the best of me right now."

You caressed his lenght in his entirety, from the head to the base, so rigid, impressive, veins popping out, pre-cum spilling gently in a long, thin stream. "I couldn't agree less," you stated, smiling maliciously.

He suddenly gripped your wrists and pinned both your hands over your head, making you giggle, watching you totally captivated.

"What?" you asked curious.

"I wanna remember you like this forever."

He entered you fully, heatedly, incapable of controlling himself, of resisting you, of waiting any longer and hushing his impatience, his impulsive exigency to fill your cunt for the first time, completely, to the extreme. He stared spellbound at how his huge cock disappeared under your sparkling skin, and how your pussy, so smooth, so delicate, took it in with absolute composure. He bent down, stealing a long, soothing kiss from your parted lips to try softening your pain, to help your body calm, relax, gradually and naturally adjust to his presence.

Chris moaned tilting his head back lost in the rapture of your thightness enwrapping him so hungrily, squeezing him so forcefully, then started moving his hips leisurely, his thrusts rhythmic and regular, constant and sustained. More, harder, please oppa, faster, he heard you crying, so eager, insatiable, desperately raising your waist to try fastening his phlegmatic pace, so his shoves got quicker, wilder, as he shortened the duration of his hammering movements and intensified their force, their steadiness.

He could feel distinctly your legs jerking, your muscles contracting, your walls constricting, fluttering erratically around him, suffocating his shaft in that furious, chaotic whirlwind of tremors and convulsions. He was well aware he was also irrevocably close to his own verge.

"Shit, p-princess, oppa wants to f-fill you with his c-cum, w-will you let him?" he panted, visibly struggling to articulate that coherent phrase as he kept on shoving himself into you relentlessly, hastily, ruthlessly.

"Yes, fuck, yes…" you allowed, and then, there was nothing left to do but abandoning to the gripping power of ecstasy.

You both orgasmed, collapsing enfolded in the warmth of your embrace, blatantly entranced, unbridled, floating blissfully in that heavenly, idyllic vortex of carnal and spiritual junction, ruled by that strong, passionate but contradictory feeling of coming to life and dying at the same time, you coating his golden skin in your honeyed juices and he releasing his hot fluid emprisoned in your trembling body, calling your name, no terms of endearment this time, no nicknames, just your real name forming sensually on his lips as he reached the culmination of his own pleasure, making you feel for once more than just his little girl, but his woman.

Chris fell down on his back, weary, sated, trying hard to catch his breath again as his chest moved up and down rhythmically.

"What?" he asked seeing you smiling.

You shrugged. "Nothing. I just wanna remember you like this forever."

He laughed wholeheartedly. "Come here."

And he kissed you, in the only way he could, he knew, leaving you wishing on bittersweet illusions, on the stupidly romantic dream that he wouldn't be just your first, but maybe even your last.

© cultlix, 2024. all rights reserved.

[clutching-our-plurals]

Aw, tryna weponize that internalized transphobia, are we? That's tough.

We don't use they/them because of gender buddy. It's because we're plural. You're really bad at this. It's actually very comfortable and euphoric being called it/its. Isn't that nice? I bet you'd find it nice if you didn't have that stick jammed so far up your ass. 😔

Anyway, bold of you to assume I give a rats ass. Speaking of, you can kiss mine, total stranger on the internet who has never had a single valuable contribution to my life. We don't care what you do, or call us, or think about us. You're lucky we keep our protector on a tight leash, or he'd start making more clown jokes, and I don't think you could handle that if you thought he was a mean girl earlier.

You can’t be a system if you’re still a minor.

And you can’t be endogenic and say you’re a system.

That’s not how it works, and y’all know that.

[rhapsodynew]

#memorial day

On November 29, 2001, the "silent Beatle" left this world. In memory of George Harrison, let's recall some interesting facts from his life.

George Harrison: A nostalgic and instructive interview.

Interview with Crawdaddy magazine

Question: “Were you nervous before the Beatles debuted in 1964 on the Ed Sullivan show?”

GEORGE: “Sullivan's show was funny because I didn't attend the rehearsal. I got sick during the flight during my first trip to the States. The band also played a lot of songs at rehearsals for sound engineers, they kept coming into the control room and checking the sound. And finally, when they found a balance between instruments and vocals, they noted it on the mixing console, and then everyone went to lunch. Then we came back to record the show on tape, and the cleaners had already been here and erased all the marks from the remote. In those days, the sound was somehow handled carelessly. Amplifiers, for example, were placed to the side of the stage so that it would not spoil the frame, you know.”

• After the Beatles' first visit to the USA, they became the most famous people on the planet - an inside look

“For the Beatles at that time, it was a great help: if someone ran out of press conferences, there was always someone else with a smart answer. There was always a reasonable balance, so no one could ever really pin us down.”

George Harrison is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (2004)

“For the first time, the most depressing moment came for me during the ‘White Album’. The problem was with making a double album because it takes so long.”

The Beatles were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (1988)

Q: “Why did you make a double?”

GEORGE: “I think it was because there were so many songs, but it was a period that started a little bit negatively. It was a bit difficult, but we got through it and everything was fine. We finally finished working on the album, and everyone was happy because the tracks were not bad. There were just too many restrictions based on the fact that we had been together for so long. Everyone was kind of imprisoned. It was unpleasant.”

“The problem was that John and Paul had been writing songs together for so long that it was difficult - primarily because they had so many tunes and they automatically thought their songs should be a priority. As for me, I always had to wait for them to record ten of their own songs before they even listened to one of mine.”

“‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ we were recording one night and there was such a lack of enthusiasm. So I came home very disappointed because I knew the song was good. The next day, I brought Eric Clapton with me. He was really nervous. I told: ‘Just come and play in the session, then I can sing and play the acoustic guitar.’”

“Paul always helped when you first performed his ten songs, and then when he started performing one of my songs, he helped. It was stupid. In fact, it was very selfish. Sometimes Paul would make us perform these really sugary songs. I mean, God forbid, ‘Maxwell's Silver Hammer’ was so cloying. After a while we worked on it well, but when Paul came up with an idea or arrangement… But Paul is still really writing for a 14-year-old audience right now.”

“I remember coming from California and shooting this piece for a film about Ravi Shankar's life called ‘Raga’, and I had a sitar. And we stayed in New York and checked into a hotel, and Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton were both in the same hotel. And that was the last time I really played the sitar like that. We hung out so much at that time, and Eric gave me a fantastic Les Paul guitar that he plays at that concert.”

“I helped so much with all the arrangements. Although there were a lot of tracks where I played the bass. Paul played lead guitar in ‘Taxman’, and he played guitar - the best part - in ‘Drive My Car’.”

Q: “Did you play the bass?”

GEORGE: “No, I didn't play. What did Paul usually do if he wrote a song? He would learn all his parts, and then he would come into the studio and say, ‘Do this.’ He would never have given you the opportunity to take the initiative. But on ‘Drive My Car,’ I just played a line that's really kind of a lick off of ‘Respect’ - you know, the Otis Redding version - and I played that line on guitar, and Paul recorded it with me on bass.”

Q: “Which Beatles album are you still listening to?”

GEORGE: “I loved when we worked on ‘Rubber Soul’, ‘Revolver'. There was something good in each album, and they developed. There were albums that, from my point of view, were no good, like ‘Yellow Submarine’.”

“We put all the songs together in album form - now I'm talking about English albums, because in the States, as we later discovered, for every two albums we had, they (Capitol) made three... because we included fourteen tracks in the album, and we also had singles that were not included in albums at that time. And they put in singles, took out a bunch of tracks, changed the order, and then made new compilations, like ‘Yesterday And Today’ - just terrible compilations.”

Q: “Was it difficult with the rest of the band when you started getting into Indian music?”

GEORGE: “Not really. They weren't really that interested. When I first met Ravi (Shankar), he played a private concert right at my house, and he came with Alla Rakha, and John and Ringo came to listen. I remember Ringo didn't want to know anything about tabla because it just seemed so far away from him.”

Q: “The whole Beatles image has been cleaned up and smoothed, which is always credited to Brian Epstein.”

GEORGE:

“In the Hamburg days, we had to play for a long time and burn out to the fullest, jump around the stage, foam at the mouth and do anything.”

Q: “Have you received any feedback from John or Ringo or anyone else-congratulations?”

GEORGE:

“I remember John was very negative at the time, but I was away, and he came to my house, and my friend lived there, who was also John's friend. He saw the album cover and said, ‘He must be pretty damn bad to have released three records. And look at the front photo, he looks like an asthmatic Leon Russell.’ There was a lot of negativity. You know... Ringo played on almost the entire album. I don't care about that. To hell with all this-we've been through this before. I felt that no matter what happened, whether it was a failure or a success, I would act on my own, just to get some peace of mind.”

Q: ”They say he was...”

GEORGE:

“Well, you know, John has experienced more negative events than I have with the Maharishi. Now I see much more clearly what happened, and a lot of it was due to ignorance. Maharishi was great, and I admire him, as well as Prabhupada, for being able, despite all the ridicule, to just keep moving forward. And now more and more people - especially in the United States - are following the teachings. And in the 60s, they laughed at us and said it was stupid. All those people influenced me, and I tried to get the most out of them without getting a spiritual twist of the guts.”

George's favorite color was purple. The musician loved Formula 1 racing, egg sandwiches, watched the TV show "Monty Python's Flying Circus", and his favorite movie was "The Producers" (1968) by Mel Brooks.

For most of his career and life, George considered his birthday to be February 25th, 1943. Many books about The Beatles and Harrison indicate this date. However, shortly before his death, George said that, in fact, he was born on February 24. The family document shows that the musician was born on February 24 at 23-50

George officially joined The Quarrymen on February 6, 1958, when he was 14 years old. During a tour of Scotland in 1960, the musician briefly changed his name to "Carl Harrison" (in honor of his idol, Carl Perkins).

George became the author of a slang word that entered English dictionaries. In the movie "The Evening of a Hard Day" (1964), he used the word grotty to describe some items of clothing. Grotty (from the word grotesque — grotesque) became a popular slang word of the 1960s era. It is still used today, although much less often than before

Harrison was "the best actor from The Beatles." At least, according to Richard Lester, the director of the films "Hard Day's Evening" and "Help!". Richard called George the most capable actor of the Liverpool four. According to the director, in the "Evening of a Difficult Day" the guitarist was the highlight of every scene he participated in.

George was the first "Beatle" whose solo composition reached the highest position in the national charts — this achievement was achieved by My Sweet Lord in December 1970

A versatile musician, George played 26 different instruments. Any Beatles fan knows about his talents in playing guitar and sitar, but Harrison has also achieved considerable success in studying instruments such as conga, African drum, xylophone, violin, harmonica, marimba, metallophone, ukulele, sarangi.

Harrison once spent $4 million "to watch a movie." When the Monty Python comic group began to have problems financing their film The Life of Brian, George actually mortgaged his house to help the artists with money. He said he did it simply because he "wanted to see the movie." According to Monty Python contributor Eric Idle, this is still the largest amount anyone has paid for the opportunity to watch a movie.

As we all know, George died in 2001, the cause of death was a malignant brain tumor. His mother, Louise, died prematurely due to the same disease in 1970. George wrote the song Deep Blue in her honor. The musician's father, Harold Harrison, died of cancer in 1978, on the night of his death, George and his wife Olivia woke up and both saw the color blue. Afterwards, they testified that they had seen Harold's ghost smiling at them.

"We could save the world with our love."

"The world is a birthday cake. Take a piece, but don't be greedy.".....

[ktlurksforsomereason]

A few new thoughts + theories about obxanon and Rudy's departure

I keep seeing the same angry, recycled theories on obxtwitter without a lot of critical thought, which like fine, people are mad, I get it. But I've been really trying to take my emotions out of the situation and just consider how this could realistically have happened, and I have a few theories that I want to put out there.

I think #obxanon is Lilah Pate, OR someone very very close to Lilah or the Pates. Why do I think this? For one, #obxanon mentions Lilah far too much. Like I'm sorry, she's just not that important lol. She's a nepotism baby riding on daddy's coattails, and she was not a major player in any of the bts drama until #obxanon mentioned her specifically in their first (now deleted) post. #Obxanon also seems to know a lot about the personal relationships between cast members, far more than a crew member or a producer might know (specifically in the way they describe Rudy and Madison's history/feelings towards each other). This tells me #obxanon is someone who personally spent time with the cast, especially in the s1 era. Finally, in a previous post, I've talked about how #obxanon is very bias against Rudy and for the Pates. I believe SOME of the facts they present (a lot of it is bullshit and opinions), but I think whoever is behind that account has personal anger towards Rudy and Elaine, especially Elaine. #Obxanon mentioned personal conflict between Elaine, the Pates, and LILAH. Why is that even important? Because Lilah thinks she's important, and Lilah is #obxanon.

2. In saying this, I think #obxanon's first post in August leaking JJ's death was an intentional move by the Pates (and maybe Netflix) to sus out how audiences would feel about JJ dying. I just can't believe that Netflix/HR wouldn't be cracking down on every single person who could know this information if they weren't already allowing it to be leaked. Like the first post? Huge leak of insider info. But ok, JJ death theory was gently leaked during Morocco filming so maybe not a drastic break of HR policy. But the second post after s4 part 2 dropped? And continuing to post answers to fan questions up until very recently? There's just no way. Someone would be getting sued. A crew member would be out of the job. The Pates would be putting a stop to it. Unless it was intentional. Unless it was Lilah. Who wanted to

a. gently prepare audiences for JJ's death,

b. get a feel for how angry people would be, so they could edit/prepare to launch their bullshit PR "he was always gonna die" statement,

c. know whether they should renew the show for 1 or 2 more seasons, depending on how much viewership would be lost,

d. maybe even try to convince/guilt-trip Rudy into changing his mind based off of fan response? And if that last ditch effort didn't work,

e. proactively shift the blame onto Rudy to redirect fan outrage, meaning the writers/showrunners could take slightly less heat.

The show getting renewed for a 5th and final season BEFORE part 2 dropped and all hell broke loose? This tells me that they had a solid idea of how bad it might be and opted out of the original 6 season plan. They probably didn't know it would be THIS bad lol, but clearly the writers have their heads up their own asses and don't know how shit they actually are, so they underestimated big time.

And before people start saying this is a conspiracy and couldn't be PR, I really wouldn't underestimate how involved marketing teams can be, especially for a high budget #1 show on Netflix. The Pates mention all the time how they read and monitor fan feedback. Like, if the obx twitter account can interact with fans the way they do? They can definitely be sneaky about leaking info on tumblr through an anonymous yet extremely, SUSPICIOUSLY informed source.

And finally,

3. I think the reasons for Rudy leaving (and I absolutely believe that he left) are far more complicated than simply "Elaine was jealous." I think the way he handled it was messy and shitty and immature, but I've tried to theorize WHY and I've come up with a few intersecting reasons. I want to preface this with I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW. But I like trying to understand people's decisions, it makes them more human to me and allows me to move forward with empathy rather than anger. So here's what I think:

a. He and Madison were previously FWB. I can't pretend to know the timeline or why it ended. But it happened sometime in 2019/2020 and Elaine was unaware of this (or at least how strong the feelings involved were) until later on in her and Rudy's relationship. Elaine not knowing about their fwb arrangement is alluded to in multiple Deuxmoi blinds over the years. Just feels too consistent to not have some truth to it. I can see how finding this out could blindside Elaine, make Rudy feel ashamed and uncomfortable, and contribute to growing jealousy and tension throughout years that finally hit a breaking point. I'm not saying jealousy is acceptable, especially because portraying a believable Jiara romance was Rudy and Madison's JOB. Obviously the healthiest decision is either break up or make peace with it. But I think this could at least explain why Jiara upset Elaine so much. She felt lied to. Also if Rudy actually cheated on Teo, that would increase Elaine's insecurity even more (once a cheater always a cheater). AND put pressure on Rudy to prove that he won't cheat on Elaine, making him all compliant and weird n shit towards Madison. The whole thing is just messy.

b. Rudy did not want to do Jiara in the first place. He didn't even sign up for it when he joined the show. Their "chemistry" in s1 was a literal representation of Rudy and Madison's chemistry in real life, likely due to their fwb arrangement. It wasn't JJ and Kiara liking each other. It wasn't planned. (I hate how Kiara asking John B "Did you tell JJ" is literally always used as proof against this, but I always saw that as Kiara not wanting to admit she actually did like John B and wanted to keep shit on the down low until they figured it out. That's totally how it's written. But the obx writers suck and don't elaborate on that ever again, so it gets misinterpreted). Regardless, fans saw their obvious chemistry and SCREAMED for JJ and Kiara to get together. They also screamed for Rudy and Madison to get together, which was probably fun until it was awkward. But Rudy literally NEVER actually liked it as a plotline. In interviews for S1 and S2, he talks about how JJ is not ready for a relationship, maaaaybe endgame could be them hinting at getting together but he just didn't think it made sense with the storyline. And Cleo was getting written in as JJ's actual love interest. And Kiara had already kissed John B AND Pope. It was not the writer's original plan, and Rudy has said that he thinks the show should not be swayed by fan desires. Except the writers are spineless and lack creativity, so instead they chose to listen to the fans and pivot their entire storyline to make Jiara happen. Which Rudy was contractually obligated to then do. Unwillingly. For 4 seasons.

c. Outside of Jiara, Rudy hated the writing on obx. And who can blame him? Everyone hated the writing on obx. The plotline has been getting more and more unrealistic and ridiculous since S1. If there was no bts drama and JJ lived and the show was renewed for 3 more seasons, season 4 would STILL be hot smelly garbage. Rudy has been getting increasingly more and more vocal in interviews about how he hates bad writing, he respects good writing, he wants to participate in art that moves people, means something, makes a difference. He basically calls out the obx writers in that Larry Moss interview for being trash. It is absolutely implied. The fan service of Jiara and the deterioration of the plot and the absolute destruction of his character JJ who he loved dearly and put so much effort into? God, that would piss me off too. Total opposition to his values. We all heard Rudy talk about JJ's storyline in S1 interviews as a nod to trauma survivors and how respectfully he tried to portray that. Only to have the writers not give 2 shits about any of that. I can totally see why he stopped giving a shit too. By s3 interviews, he literally repeats "my job is to do what the writers tell me" over and over. Dude was done long before asking to leave s4.

4. The final tipping point? The hate that Elaine gets. I'm not defending the girl. I think the whole conflict/tension/jealousy thing is wild. Hard to know what's actually true, but I think it's fair to say she doesn't make the healthiest choices (her launching her bikini line while Rudy is getting dragged by the media and fans?....wow.) However, the absolute visceral HATE Elaine has been getting for literal years, unwavering, unfiltered, unending? No one deserves that. Especially not for the petty shit she supposedly did (the girl posted some ignorant shit as a 17 year old on facebook in 2013. Like come on, she's not Kelly Osbourne saying Latinos only clean toilets on literal live TV). You can't make me believe that hate like that for 4 years straight on every possible social media platform wouldn't impact your mental health. You can't tell me it wouldn't make Rudy hate the fans, and hate the show, and hate social media. He would feel guilty, like it was his fault. He would want to protect her. They would both be so powerless to stop it from happening. Like, it literally killed her photography career before it could begin because her social media platforms were just bombarded with hate. And not just hate, but embarrassing, cancel culture accusations. If that was my partner getting treated like that because of my job? I think I'd leave too.

All of this combined = creates a total shitshow that Rudy probably couldn't wait to get away from. He's talented. He's passionate about acting. He likely wants to do other projects while he's still young and fit and eager. OBX contracts stopped the actors from doing any other work that conflicted with obx scheduling (filming and press). That reeeeally limits their other opportunities.

So I really can't blame the guy for leaving. I just think the way he did it was shitty. If he had just told them he wanted to leave before S4 was written and already filming, I think things could have been a lot more amicable. But I guess money complicates everything. Dude probably made a good mil a year with obx, that's hard to leave.

Soooo yea. Just my theories and thoughts. I could be totally off, a lot of it is hypothetical. But I haven't seen a lot of these theories fleshed out as people talk about everything, so thought I would add my 2 cents.

[vashtijoy]

Extremely random thought but do you think that cringy fanfictions written by preteens who then grew up to be embarassed adults would have never existed in the Marukiverse, considering how that art student who was in a slump was forcibly pivoted to archery instead?

wow, goddamn. I guess you could take it either way, couldn't you? Maruki does seem to think that struggling against the odds isn't worth it, and that depression and discouragement are best treated by giving up.

I do tend to think that Maruki is able to tell what people truly want, to somehow divine it out of their heads, even before 12/24—just because all of the kids get something they really want, even when it's not necessarily obvious. Maruki makes some startling judgements there, but the PTs all seem to agree that they were genuine temptations.

So my reading would tend be that Yusuke's artist friend really did think he might have been happier as an archer, and really did believe there was no hope for him in art—but, just as the PTs all turn down their wishes that they desperately want, Yusuke's friend has chosen not to switch paths, and to stick with his painting despite his slump. Until Maruki happens to him, at any rate.

What I think is more likely is that people who want to write would still write. They just wouldn't ever feel discouraged, or down. They wouldn't go through that phase of realising all their work is cringe. And of course, because Maruki's reality has no pain or challenge or complexity, nobody would ever write anything worth reading.

Which brings me to....

deleted text chat

While I was checking the archery chat, I ran into this deleted chat all about conflicting wishes, and how the very thoughts in people's heads, their ability to feel negative emotions at all, will likely be erased. It's unsettling reading, and confirms a number of theories that go around about what life in Maruki's reality would really have been like, and how he'd likely handle conflicts.

It's SCRIPTCHAT_282, and since it didn't make it into the English localisation, it will have been cut in very early dev. Look out for Akechi chiming in when Ann talks about wishing to get rid of people they don't want around.

Futaba 正月のこと覚えてるか? Do you guys remember New Year? Ryuji そりゃもちろん 嫌でも忘れねーよ… Course we do. There’s no way we could forget that. Futaba わたしのおかーさんいただろ? 春もおとーさんいたよな? My mom was there, right? And Haru’s dad was there too, right? Haru え、うん　いたけど… Uh, yes. I suppose so... Makoto なにかあった? Did something happen? Futaba ちょっと考えてたんだ I was thinking. Futaba 死んじゃった人に会いたいって 思ったら生き返ってたじゃん? If we think about wanting dead people back, they come back to life, right? Futaba んじゃその逆は? って So does it work the other way around? Sumire 逆…ですか The… other way around? Ann いなくなってほしい人に 消えろって願ったら… If we wish for people to disappear, who we don’t want around… Ann ってこと? Is that what you mean? Futaba そ! Yeah! Akechi なかなか面白い考えだね 、どう思う? That’s quite an interesting thought. Ren, what do you make of it? [Joker] 消える気がする I feel like disappearing myself. [Joker] 考え方が変わる It’s changed my perspective. Yusuke だが、誰かが生きてほしいと 願ったらどうなるんだ But then, what would happen if somebody else wished they were still alive? Sumire 一度消えて また現れるんですかね… They’d die, and then reappear again, wouldn’t they..? Ryuji 忙しいな Busy day. Akechi そういう考え自体 が 消えてしまうんじゃないかな You know, even thoughts such as these may die out in the end. Yusuke 自分のか? You mean our own thoughts? Sumire そういうこと考えなくなる ってことですね Do you mean we just wouldn’t think such things any more? Akechi 僕も同意見だな　思考自体を消されると思うよ It does seem likely. I’m afraid thought itself will be erased. Futaba あーなるほど Huh. I see. Haru 負の感情を抱かなくなるのかぁ… So… so we won’t be able to feel bad things any more..? Ann 平和になりそうだけど なんか気味悪いね It’s kind of creepy, isn’t it? We’d get to live in peace, but… Ryuji つか、よくそんな 物騒 なこと思いつくよな You always gotta think of the worst things, don’t you, Futaba? Futaba だってヒマなんだもん It’s because I get bored. Futaba あ、そうじろう帰って来た そんじゃな! Oh, there’s Sojiro! See ya! Yusuke 本当に暇潰しだったのか So this was all just to relieve her boredom? Makoto じゃあ、私たちも 授業に戻りましょう We should all turn back to our lessons, anyway. Morgana 人を生き返らせる、か。認知を使ってそんなことするなんて… Bringing people back to life, huh? Imagine using cognition to do such a thing… Morgana ワガハイには理解できないぜ。 I just can’t understand it.

revision history

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v1.0 (posted 2024/11/30)—first posted.