#i don't really care what happens after that i just don't want to be one of those people that is always talking about writing a book | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

niningtori · 2 days ago

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the way we were before | oneshot

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: you've been in love with beomgyu for as long as you've known him. deep down, you've always thought that he loved you, too; so when he tells you that he's engaged to another woman, you decide to break it all off after a nasty fight in which he shows you just how little you mean to him. a life-ending accident seems to put your feelings to rest, for good. just when you think it's all over, however, you awaken to a time before everything fell apart; and you're determined not to repeat the same mistakes. it's just that beomgyu can't seem to let you go.

genre: ANGST (literally so much angst it's not even funny), romance, second chancelau, rebirthlau, she falls first but he falls harder, possessive!beomgyu

warnings: mcd (and rebirth), somewhat graphic depictions of death/a corpse, suicidal thoughts, you can interpret a scene at the end as somewhat suggestive but not really

word count: 12.7k

notes: this work contains a lot of angst... and that's coming from ME. this might be too sad to the point of being corny but luckily i was born on the cob. don't be mean to me tho i'm going thru it rn. feedback also means the world 2 me <3

some things are a matter of course. for example, when you were initially paired with beomgyu for a project in your senior year of college, it was a matter of course to fall in love with him. supporting him morally and emotionally while he struggled throughout the rest of the year and well into his adult career? well, that was a matter of course, too. being with him every day, spending every spare second you had with the intention to make him happy, and giving up any concept of self-preservation in exchange for even a morsel of his affection? the answer doesn’t even need to be said. through it all, you’ve suspected that all of the intimacy that you’ve nurtured will inevitably end up with you two being together, of course.

you haven’t done any of it for the outcome. truly, you haven't. you make him happy simply because it makes you happy just to see him shine. he’s always been such a bright, sunny boy, and it’s always been enough just to be the one who helps maintain his true personality. it absolutely kills you to see him hurting, so it isn’t unusual to drop everything, be it work or social events, just to give him advice, give him comfort, or even just give him company. while he certainly doesn't show his affection towards you as profusely as you do to him, you know he cares about you. you can see it in the way he notices the little things about you, and in the way he listens to you with full attentiveness, even when you have nothing particularly interesting to tell him. when everyone talks over you, he tells you that he wants to hear what you have to say. and that’s enough.

with all of this in mind, you jump at his invitation to hang out at his apartment. he’s been a little distracted lately, cancelling plans together for reasons unknown. it’s been odd, to be sure, but you know he’ll tell you whatever’s been bothering him soon enough. he always does. you greet him with takeout from his favorite restaurant in tow as a surprise, and he takes it with that smile you love so damn much. he looks a little nervous, but happy, mostly, and you don’t have to wait for very long before he clears his throat and announces that he has something important to tell you.

you try not to get your hopes up, but who can blame you for feeling a hint of anticipation? maybe he’ll finally confess his feelings to you. maybe that’s why he’s been a little weird. naturally, since your mind is racing so much with romantic hypotheticals, of course it comes as a shock to you that he simply says, “i’m getting married.”

beomgyu, notorious for never even having the time nor interest to date around, is not only dating, but engaged. your jaw drops when he tells you that it all happened so quickly, he doesn’t even know how it unfolded. all he knows is that once he met her, a whirlwind romance swept him up, and just a few months have been more than enough for him to know that she’s the one. in fact, as he so fondly declares, he knew it from the very first moment he saw her at the dinner between the company you two work for and her own. the one where you were his “date”. you knew that it wasn’t a real proclamation of love or affection for him to ask you to accompany him, but you can’t say that you weren’t beaming with pride and validation at you being his natural choice. when you arrived at the dinner, you remember some of your coworkers jokingly whispering to you to just make it official already. you spent the night mostly by his side, looking up at him in admiration and love. as it turns out, the time you spent fawning over him was equally spent with him falling in love at first sight with another woman. you weren’t even apart for very long, but apparently he met her when you two broke apart to mingle.

it’s a kick in the chest, to put it bluntly. you feel the wind being knocked out of your lungs, and you’re struggling to breathe. the first time you caught a glimpse of him, you knew that any attempts to stop yourself from falling in love with him were hopeless. his smile, his charm, his playfulness immediately had you enraptured. you’ve always, always known that he didn't have a similar experience with you, but you just assumed that he simply isn’t the type to be caught up in such childish romanticism. you've always loved him outwardly and persistently, and you've shown him that in every single way you possibly know how. you dared to hope that maybe he was just the type to quietly reciprocate. obviously, with how emphatically he’s professing his love for another woman, you were very, very wrong.

“what's the matter? aren't you happy for me?” you struggle to answer, but he continues as if he doesn’t notice. “you know, i was thinking you could be, like, my best man. i've seen people do it these days—you'd pretty much be my best woman. i really want you to do it. there's no one else i can think of to—well, actually, there's soobin, but you’re my—”

“beomgyu,” you sharply interrupt, wetness pooling in your waterlines. beomgyu may be a little emotionally slow, but he’s not stupid. you know he knows that you've had feelings for him since forever ago. while it hurts, the fact of them being unrequited isn't what really gets you; it’s the fact that he doesn’t have the decency to just tell the truth. he took advantage of your love for him, always calling for you when he needed you, without ever really doing the same for you. “what… what about us?”

“what about us? you’re my best friend, and i want you to be part of my wedding,” he says smoothly, but you level him with a watery stare. as if realization finally dawns on him, he replies in a way you sincerely did not anticipate.

“c’mon, you know i don’t see you like that,” he chuckles with a wave of his hand, and you really would’ve rathered him say literally anything else. you’d prefer it if he had just punched you in the stomach, actually, because that would feel considerably better than this… this humiliation. you’re silent for a moment before you feel the tears you’ve been struggling to keep in cascade down your face. to his credit, he has the decency to look uncomfortable, and his playful smile drops. before he can reply, however, you speak again.

“you knew how i felt about you this whole fucking time, you were just too much of a coward to be honest with me,“ you declare. “if… if you had just told me, i would’ve understood. i-i would've—you didn't have to do it this way.”

“listen, i’m sorry that you’re hurt, but i really didn’t mean—”

“are you really sorry that i’m hurt, or are you sorry that i showed you i’m hurt?” you cut in. “beomgyu, you don’t care about how i feel, just as long as you don’t have to be the one to deal with it.”

“i’m—you're being unfair. i didn't want to hurt your feelings, i just wanted us to stay friends. what's so bad about that? don't you want that?” he seems genuinely puzzled, as if he can't wrap his head around why you'd ever be indignant at the fact that he stayed friends with you mainly for his own comfort.

“jesus christ, beomgyu! a real friend would never do this. you kept me around so i’d keep helping you with work, with life, with what the fuck ever. why can't you just be honest, after all this time? just don’t lie,” you spit.

“i'm not lying! you've helped me a lot, and i'm grateful for that, but you can't expect me to just owe you my feelings,” he snaps.

“that's not what this is about, and you know it,” you tremblingly reply, dignity cut right to the bone.

“seriously? that's exactly what this is about. you're the altruistic angel who does nothing wrong, and i'm just a fucking scumbag who takes advantage of you, right? well, i'm sorry, but it's not my fault that you're acting so goddamn crazy over something so stupid.” your eyes burn with an intensity so great, it feels like they're being seared out of your skull. in this moment, you realize that he will never, ever respect you enough to consider you worthy of being leveled with. he doesn't think you're even worth the time. you're his silly, lovesick best friend who's absolutely delusional to the point of being laughable for suggesting that he actually take you seriously, for once. and that revelation breaks you like nothing else.

you won’t do this anymore. you couldn’t even if you wanted to, and you don’t.

“i never want to see you again,” you sob, and while it may seem juvenile to say, you truly mean it. before you can hear beomgyu reply, you dash out of the building and to your car.

everything is a blur when you peel out of the parking lot and onto the road. your eyes are pouring out thick, hot tears, and you try your best to swipe them away as soon as they come, but it’s difficult when they’re seemingly endless. you don’t even attempt to hold in your sobs—they’re far too deep and frequent for that. if someone were to glance at you through their window, they’d think you were absolutely insane. and maybe you are, you don’t know. maybe you’re insane for thinking that things could’ve ever been any different. maybe you were just imagining everything that seemed like confirmation that he loved you back. maybe it was all a delusion because you wanted it so fucking badly. and maybe that’s your fault.

but did he really have to crush you like this? he knew you were in in love with him. he knew you were waiting for him. he knew what he meant to you. why couldn’t he have just been honest instead of stringing you along? to ask for him to return your feelings would’ve been too much, you've always understood that to be the case; but even to the bitter end, he’ll call you crazy before he tells you the truth.

you try to keep yourself focused, but everything’s a blur with your eyes bleary with a film of tears. you have half a mind to just pull over and have a meltdown on the side of the road, but before you can do that, you hear your phone ringing. you pick it up in a frenzy, silently hoping that it’s beomgyu with an apology, but the number is unknown. you don’t even have time to feel disappointed before you look up and see that you’re barrelling past a red light. in a panic, you realize that you’re about to crash headfirst into another car. you swerve your steering wheel as hard as you can, seemingly avoiding danger, but the sight of a tree coming closer and closer into your vision paralyzes you with fear. you try to brake, but you’re going too quickly for it to be of any use.

the collision is bone-shattering in the literal sense. you’d think you’d feel adrenaline alone in such a situation, but you can feel pain bursting out of every cell of your body as you still after being thrown back and forth in your seat. every organ, every bone, feels like it’s just been crushed, and not for the first time today, you’re struggling to breathe.

as you slip out of consciousness, one immovable thought resounds in your head: i wish i'd never met him.

the sound of your alarm ringing pulls you out of the darkness. your eyes shoot open and you sit straight up in pure shock. while you pant—just trying to catch your breath—you grab your chest, clutching at your shirt as you feel your heart drumming erratically. did you survive? you scramble out of your bed and look in the mirror. there’s nothing on your face. no fresh wounds, bruises, no scars from what just happened. that can’t be right. you know you were torn up from the collision, and there’s no earthly way you came out of it unscathed. was it a dream? it can’t be; you can still feel the phantom of pain on every inch of you, even when there’s no indication of any material harm. you remember every second you spent before and after wrapping yourself around that tree. does that mean you’re dead? are you in the afterlife?

that doesn’t seem right, either. you don’t know much about what the afterlife is supposed to be like, if there’s even one at all, but this feels too real and familiar. you reach for your phone, with its alarm still blaring, and as you hit snooze, you notice the date. it’s just a few months before… before everything happened. did you go back in time? is that even possible? you try to reconcile yourself with that fact for a long, long time. so long, in fact, that you don't even realize you're supposed to be heading to work until it's five minutes after you're supposed to be there.

as if on cue, your phone rings with your boss’ contact displayed on the screen.

“hello,” he says as casually as anyone ever can. this just solidifies the idea that your accident must never have happened, because if it had, he certainly wouldn’t be greeting you as if it’s just another day.

“h-hey,” you attempt to reply, and your voice is so choked and thick with emotion, he can hear how badly you’re struggling to speak at all.

“is everything alright?” he asks, concern laced in his tone. that’s enough to make you break, and before you can stop it, you’re outright sobbing into the phone.

“i’m—i just—i don’t think i can come in today.” you fumble for an excuse, but it’s difficult to think straight as you feel your mind breaking down. “i, um, i—”

“hey, it’s okay. you can take the day off, alright? don’t worry about anything, just focus on feeling better.” his words, so comforting in nature, do nothing but make you cry even harder. it feels nice to be cared for like this. if you had the coherence to think so, you’d wonder how baffled he must be at your behavior. luckily, you’re far too gone to care. you think you end up stammering out something similar to a thank you, but you’re not quite sure. either way, the call ends, and you collapse onto your bed. you curl yourself up and tuck your knees to your chest as you grip yourself as tightly as you can. this is real. you’ve gone back. thank god, you’ve gone back.

you cry and cry until no more tears will come out, and while you try to keep yourself awake as the hours pass by, the relief you feel coalesces with the enticing nature of your soft bed, so you can't help but drift off. it’s different from the way you drifted off mere hours ago. it’s a lot warmer and kinder, and you're so, so fucking tired, you don’t even want to fight it anymore.

a knock on your door wakes you from your sleep. it’s a good thing, too, because you were having a nightmare. rejection, devastation, primal fear, mind-numbing pain, then total darkness repeated incessantly in your head for hours on end. you swipe away your tears, but they continue to flow as you practically drag yourself to your door. you’re so disoriented, you don’t even think to check to see who it is before opening it. what a mistake that turns out to be.

“hey! whoa—are you okay?” he asks, and who else could it be besides beomgyu? your heart pounds in your chest, and even more tears stream down your face as you let out a sob. his mouth contorts into a frown. his face, previously so endearing to you, makes you feel absolutely repulsed. you lost everything for the figure standing before you, and he has the nerve to ask you if you’re okay. a fire is ignited in your stomach, and you feel yourself on the precipice of carnal rage. while you’re trying to suppress that feeling, he speaks again.

“i heard you called in, so i thought i’d check on you. do you have a fever?” he questions, reaching out his hand to check your forehead for abnormal warmth. without even thinking about it, you smack his hand away.

“don’t touch me,” you all but growl, but beomgyu is undeterred.

“what’s the matter? i don’t care if you get me sick; i could use the time off,” he teases with a grin, but your face remains twisted up in pure anger.

“get out,” you mumble between clenched teeth.

“what?” he asks, and it's unclear if that's because he's confused, or because he simply didn't hear you. either way, you don't care.

“get out,” you repeat, louder this time, but not lacking any of the previous anger. your erratic behavior is enough to finally irritate beomgyu.

“fine, whatever. forget i even bothered,” he scoffs as he stalks out of the door. you slam it behind him before falling to the floor. this is your chance. you came back too late to avoid ever meeting him again, but it’s still good enough for you. from now on, you two will live completely separate lives spent being nothing to each other. owing nothing to each other. again, you find yourself sobbing in relief.

when you return to work the next day, the first thing you do is head to your boss’ office. he looks relieved to see you for a moment before he notices the envelope in your hand. with the way his smile drops, you know he immediately knows what it is.

“what’s that?” he asks, though the tension in the air is more than enough confirmation that he has no doubts about what the letter reads.

“my resignation,” you tell him.

“may i ask what this is about?” he probes. no, he can’t, because even if you told him, he’d never believe you.

“i just don’t think this position is right for me,” you deadpan, and the look on his face shows that he doesn’t really buy it.

“you’ve worked so hard for so long, and you want to give up now?” he has a point. your company is on the brink of a major deal with another company, which will result in a financial breakthrough like none other, if successful. as fate would have it, said company is the one in which beomgyu’s future wife works, and the dinner where the two of them met is the celebratory party for such success. you’d laugh at the circumstances if you could. “whatever the issue is, we can work it out. just don’t leave before we do this. we need you, and even if you want to leave after we close the deal, you’ll still be rewarded for everything you’ve done. don’t you want to see that happen?” you do. you really, really do. you’ve given so much of yourself for this opportunity, and you really want to see it work out. you guess, in a way, you already have seen it; but if you leave now, that’ll never happen. this particular project needs you to get off of its feet.

but can you really stand to see beomgyu for a second longer? have his mere presence fuck with your head? is it even worth it? you’re about to declare that it most certainly is not, but you stop yourself. the money will be good for you to start a new life. maybe you’ll move buildings, maybe even to a new city, maybe across the country, who knows? you’ll be more than comfortable with this potential payout, and then you can start a new life somewhere where you know nobody, and nobody knows you.

“i want a new partner, at least,” you counter, and his face morphs into a grimace. he’s undoubtedly confused at your sudden aversion towards beomgyu, but he doesn't mention it to you.

“that’ll be difficult. i need you both for this to work.” you’re about to flatout deny him, but he continues. “if you can just make it through this, i promise that you can go wherever you want to go, and i’ll even give you a bonus for your trouble. deal?” you purse your lips as you mull it over. if you can suffer through being partners with beomgyu, your move will be considerably easier. still, you’re undecided before you have an epiphany: in just a few months, beomgyu will meet his future wife and fall head over heels in love with her. all you have to do is ignore him until then, and he’ll inevitably leave you alone once he meets her. so what if beomgyu’s here? you don’t want to care about him anymore. and once everything’s settled, you’ll pack your life away and start somewhere without the bad memories.

“okay,” you reply, and his face breaks out into a grin.

beomgyu is very visibly ruffled today, which you would immediately notice if you just spared him a glance, but you do no such thing. your lack of attention towards him serves to only rile him up even further. he wants to be stubborn—act out until you apologize to him, but once he realizes you have no intention of doing so, he finally relents and approaches you.

“hey,” he says coolly, still a little annoyed, but prepared to forgive you. you look up at him blankly, and he’s unsettled by just how empty your eyes look, so he nervously asks you, “are you… are you feeling better?” you look at him as if he just spouted the most asinine question of all time, and for the first time ever, he feels small under your gaze. he shifts awkwardly on his feet before you break the silence.

“i’m fine,” you tell him. he waits for you to ask him how he is, but the words never come. in fact, you turn away and bury your nose in your work as if he’s not standing there, waiting dumbly for you to respond as you usually would. well, whatever. you’ll have to talk to him, eventually. especially since you two are working on such a big project.

you don’t really talk to him, though, aside from what’s absolutely necessary. for most of the day, you silently slide papers over to him without even deigning to look at him while you do it. when you do have to speak to him, your words are cold and detached, as if even speaking to him is a chore. it’s like you’re looking past him, almost. like you don’t even really see him, and he’s never felt as unsettled by a gaze in his life.

at lunch, you quietly remain at your desk instead of joining beomgyu like you usually would, and you can't quite bring yourself to eat. you just feel sick by this entire situation, and while you know you need food to survive, you’re sure you’ll vomit if you try to eat anything.

beomgyu, on his part, leaves you alone, though he desperately wants to try to get you to eat with him. he won’t admit it, but he’s actually afraid that you’ll reject him again. he doesn't know why, but the thought of you doing so slashes at his heart. this is a mystery to him. he shouldn’t really care if you reject him or not, since he’s been quietly rejecting you for years, but he can’t help it. still, as he watches you space out at your desk, he tries to will himself to bear the brunt of a possible denial before a coworker he recognizes approaches you.

you don’t even notice mingi walking up to you, so you jump in surprise when he greets you. you’re pretty familiar with him, but you’re not particularly close, so you’re a bit surprised by his arrival.

“can i sit with you?” he asks, grinning as he asks it. you nod in response, and he grins even wider before he pulls up a chair and seats himself in front of you.

“are you going to eat?” he questions, and you shake your head.

“not hungry,” you reply. he frowns.

“you still need to eat. you need energy, especially since you’re working so hard.” you’re actually a little sheepish because of his words. so he’s noticed how hard you’ve been working? it feels nice to be appreciated. is he worried about you?

“i’ll eat later,” you lie. he seems a bit reluctant, but he eventually nods.

“make sure you eat, okay? i’ll—i’ll text you and make sure you have. is that alright?” you’re stunned for a few seconds before agreeing, and he ends up sliding you his phone so you can put your number in it.

beomgyu watches it all from his desk, and he feels a sense of loss. is it because you’re directing your attention elsewhere? that has to be it, right? it can't be any deeper than that, but somewhere nearly unreachable inside of him, he feels an unfamiliar sensation scratching at his heart, begging him to acknowledge it. but he shakes away the thought. you’re acting really weird, but that’s okay. you love him, and you’ll get back to normal really soon.

that’s what he tells himself, but you remain as cold as ever throughout the rest of the week. you don’t look at him with those adoring eyes, and you don’t even crack a smile at his attempted jokes. he feels like he's going insane, as if he's on the brink of understanding something really important, but he can't quite make it there.

it all comes to a head when beomgyu shows up late back from grabbing lunch. he's done this a million times before, and he's always been greeted by your insistence that his tardiness isn't a big deal. in spite of the tension between you two, he still assumes that you'll be as forgiving as ever.

“hey, sorry i'm late. i got caught up with eating and didn't realize how late it was getting,” he says casually. he searches your face for any traces of leniency, for the indulgence you used to give him, but there is none. only anger, and maybe even something like regret, though he can't quite understand the latter.

“don't be late again. we don't have time for this,” you say coldly before sticking your nose back into your computer, effectively ignoring anything else beomgyu could say to placate you.

you two work late into the night. beomgyu gets so caught up in his work, too afraid to draw your ire again, but when he realizes he hasn't heard any noise coming from you in a while, he peers over to see you staring blankly at the wall. your face seems expressionless, but your eyes are what horrifies him. dead, empty, hopeless. “a-are you okay?”

the sound of his voice does nothing to break you out of your trance, however. in fact, it seems to have triggered something in you, decimated a dam that was already leaking. your eyes still look blank as tears begin to leak out of your eyes. they fall slowly at first, then incessantly. it's hard to reconcile the steady stream with the way your face remains completely devoid of emotion.

tentatively, he places a hand on your shoulder. suddenly, you're jolted awake, eyes now looking as composed and indifferent as ever.

“are you okay? w-what's wrong?” he asks anxiously,

you hurriedly wipe away your tears before you say, “nothing. just thinking about something.” you redirect your attention to your work, just trying to fully shake the way you were just locked into the memory of you dying alone.

“what could you possibly be thinking about to make you look like that?” he asks concernedly, his voice unintentionally rising in frustration. your eyes harden before you turn to him.

“none of your business,” you say firmly. before he can say anything, you're packing up your things. “i'm going to call it a night and go home.”

“wait! talk to me! what's been bothering you so much lately? you've been weird for a while now, so just tell me what's going on with you. i'm here. i'm listening,” he says as gently as he can.

“you're here? you're listening?” you sneer. “i'm so honored that you finally give a fuck about how i'm feeling,” you say sarcastically. he frowns at your words.

“what are you talking about? i'm always here for you,” he says, and he looks so genuine, it makes you even angrier. he sincerely thinks he's telling the truth. so fucking clueless and selfish.

“are you? do you think offering up your ear once in a blue moon makes you an altruistic angel or something?” you know he can't understand that you're throwing his own words back in his face, because he can't even remember saying them, but you don't care. it just feels too damn vindicating to stop yourself. “beomgyu, you're only as available to me as is convenient to you. you'd never put yourself out of your way to comfort me. meanwhile, i've always been ‘here’ and ‘listening’ at your will. i don't need your pity, and i certainly don't want it.” he's stunned into silence. you're absolutely correct, he realizes with a sinking feeling. before he can formulate the words to defend himself, you pack up your things and leave the office.

in the following weeks, you realize that mingi is… nice. really, really nice. you’re not used to prospective romantic partners actually seeming to like you, so the feeling is foreign, but not unwelcome. do you have feelings for him outside of appreciation? well, not really. in the back of your mind, you honestly doubt that you’re even capable of having feelings for other people anymore, but you try not to think about it too much. if you seriously search for an answer, you fear you won’t like what you find.

mingi is diligent, though, and you like that about him. now that you’ve made it clear that you’re not involved with beomgyu (and never want to be), he’s pulling out all the stops to charm you. lunches you would previously spend with beomgyu are now spent laughing with mingi. in the same way, downtime at work, which would normally entail catching up with beomgyu and maybe helping with a few of his assignments, are now reserved for chats with mingi. as beomgyu watches you two giggle with your heads together, he wonders what you two could possibly be talking about to ever be that funny. his jaw ticks in irritation at the scene. most notably, though, is the fact that instead of spending your off days with him, you flatout reject him with no explanation. not even with a perfunctory “sorry”. he doesn't have to wonder what you’ve been doing when he hears your coworkers gossiping about how you're always hanging out with mingi.

beomgyu feels you slipping away, and it brings a sense of panic he’s never known before. but why? he shouldn't care about your romantic endeavors. granted, you haven’t had one during the entire time that you've known him, but it’s only natural that he supports you as your best friend. best friend. does that term even apply to him anymore? he wants to insist that it does, but as the weeks turn into months, your disgust for him becomes clearer and clearer. as he sits across from you and mingi at an after-work dinner with your department, he watches as mingi flirtatiously whispers into your ear. when some of your coworkers tease the two of you about it, he realizes with sickening certainty that he doesn't just want to be your best friend, he wants to be the one who sits next to you. he wants to be the one your coworkers joke about being your boyfriend, and he wants them to be right about it. the time you two have spent apart has shown him that he can't imagine anyone else occupying the space beside you. with an overwhelming sense of clarity, beomgyu realizes that this feeling, so deep and all-consuming, is love.

how could he not love you? regardless of everything you've done for him, you're still so perfect to him, for him. he finds himself appreciating things he previously took for granted. you're beautiful, caring, funny, and smart. he loves your smile, your laugh, your company. he loves the way you look when you're focused, the way you look so innocent when you sleep. you're the first person he wants to tell any time something happens, good or bad. you're the face he wants to wake up to in the morning. you're the only person he trusts to be his partner for the rest of his life. and now, it's clear that he can't just let you go without a fight.

as everyone begins to leave the restaurant one by one, he follows you out into the parking lot, determined to make his feelings known. even if you don't reciprocate them anymore, he's willing to put in the effort to make you love him again. and even if you don't… even if you can't… the desire to simply be next to you supersedes the need to be loved back.

you don't realize that beomgyu is trailing after you until you get to your car. he calls out your name as you're about to pull the door handle. with a sigh, you turn around.

“what is it?” you ask flatly.

“are you serious about mingi?” he asks firmly, but he already knows that you are not. the way you look at mingi is laughable compared to the way you looked at beomgyu before your sudden change in behavior.

“yep,” you say.

“no, you're not. i can tell,” he argues with conviction.

“oh, and you know me so fucking well, huh?” you snark.

“i do,” he tells you, stepping closer. “i know you, and i know you don't really like him. not really.” damn. he caught you.

“just because i don’t like him now, doesn't mean i can’t like him later,” you insist.

“so what? you’re just going to string him along while hoping you’ll like him someday? are you just going to spend the rest of your life never really caring about anyone? you can't live like that.” his words leave no room for argument, but you’ll be damned before you don't at least try.

“you’re right, i shouldn’t lead him on, but what’s it matter to you? even if it doesn't work out with him, maybe i’ll meet somebody who i can tolerate, and who can tolerate me. i don’t think i need anything more than that.” beomgyu flinches at your bizarre words, but he's already reconciled with the idea that even if you don't want him anymore, he'll still take whatever you want to give him with a smile on his face.

“then what about me? i… i can be that person.” he's so nervous, you can tell that it took all of his courage to say that. but who cares?

“you can’t,” you argue.

“why not?”

“that would mean i’d have to be able to tolerate you, and i don’t want to do that.” not anymore.

“why are you acting like this? you’re acting like i’m so fucking horrible, but you used to lo—” he stops himself, but you both know he was going to bring up the love you had for him. “i just want to know what changed.”

“i did. i changed.”

“but why? i mean, i didn’t realize it before, and i know i wasn’t always the best, but i’ve always had feelings for y—”

“don’t even bother finishing that sentence. you don't like me at all,” you sneer, “you just don’t like seeing me move on.” this makes him pause, and even you don’t have the heart to pretend like you can’t see the hurt in his eyes.

“why can’t you ever just believe me?” he asks quietly. “i’m telling you i love you, but you don’t even care. i’m saying that it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, but you’re acting like… like i'm disgusting to you.” he looks like he's about to cry, and it makes you all the more frustrated.

“you don’t understand,” you reply in between clenched teeth.

“then help me understand. i just want to know why. i just want to know how to fix it. how can i bring you back?”

“you can't. look, i’m—” and you’re about to apologize, but you just can’t make yourself do it. “you’ll get it really, really soon. you won’t even remember feeling this way, i can promise you that, and you’ll forget all about me.”

“what are you talking about?” he says exasperatedly. beomgyu may not have always been the best of friends towards you, but he can recognize when you’re holding yourself back. “what aren't you telling me?” you purse your lips in response.

“nothing. there's no point in saying anything, because you wouldn't understand even if you tried. you wouldn't remember—fuck, never mind. just let it go, beomgyu. i have.” but he can't just let it go. this whole fucking thing as an enigma to him. but your words are… odd. what do you mean he wouldn't remember? there's nothing to remember, no matter how much he tries. before he can respond, you get into your car and drive away.

“c’mon, you know i don’t see you like that,” beomgyu tells you, forcing an awkward laugh. your expression immediately crumbles, and he begins to shift uncomfortably when he realizes that he must’ve said the wrong thing. your silence is deafening, ringing in his ears, but he still tries to maintain a smile. maybe you’ll lighten up. maybe you’ll go back to the way you were before. maybe you’ll even crack at smile at this ridiculous situation when you realize that he’s right in his assumption that you’re just being emotional. your feelings for him can only go so deep, right? you can go back to being friends after this, just the way he likes it.

his smile is wiped clean off of his face when your eyes redden and well up in pure, unadulterated hurt. hurt he’s never seen before. he fumbles for the right words, but before he can find them, you break the suffocating silence.

“you knew how i felt about you this whole fucking time, you were just too much of a coward to be honest with me. if… if you had just told me, i would’ve understood. i-i would've—you didn't have to do it this way.” any delusions beomgyu has that you’ll just let this go are promptly flushed away at your biting tone. jesus christ. you’re right, and he knows it. he flounders for a response, but nothing he can possibly say could really be enough.

he spends the duration of the argument mainly trying to defend himself. honestly? he doesn't want to remember everything you two say, but he knows he's being nasty in an effort to keep himself from reconciling with the fact that he is, indeed, a coward. he knows he’s never been the greatest friend to you, though he’s always justified it by recalling the times where he did do thoughtful things for you. when you tell him that your resentment isn’t about the fact that he doesn't feel the same way, but because of the fact that he won’t own up to his actions, he feels a stab to his pride. before he can stop himself, he lashes out.

“i never want to see you again,” you choke out between sobs, and he feels a piercing pain shoot through his body, all the way down to his bones. you don’t mean that. there’s no way you mean that. you care about him. you love him, and even if he doesn't feel quite the same way, he loves you, too. but one look at your resolute face is enough to tell him that you mean it. he wills himself to say something—anything—but you rush out of the door before he can quite muster up the courage to speak.

he stands in a stunned silence for longer than he could ever rightfully justify, but a call from an unfamiliar number eventually pulls him out of his daze. usually, he’d reject it and chalk it up to spam, but something tells him that he should—needs to—answer it. with shaky hands, he accepts the call.

“h-hello?”

the response mostly sounds rather clinical in nature, really. there’s a perfunctory greeting before the monotone voice detachedly states that there’s been an accident, and he will need to come to the coroner’s office to accurately identify the corpse, which had been declared deceased at the scene. as it turns out, he was your first emergency contact.

“we are deeply, deeply sorry.” the final words are the only ones that seem to hold any hint of an emotion in them, but beomgyu is too preoccupied to hear it. in a daze, he gets in his car and makes his way to the coroner’s office. hoping, praying, needing for this to be a bad dream. as he comes to find out, it is not.

beomgyu’s head whips up in horror, and he’s panting like mad in between whimpers. tears incessantly pour out of his eyes, wetting his flushed cheeks. was it all a dream? there’s no way; it was too real to be a dream. he was there—he lived it. no, no, no…

“beomgyu?” a voice says, somewhat breaking him out of his panic. his bleary eyes snap up to the doorway to see you standing there, your eyebrows knit with concern and confusion. you two have been working late again, awkwardly alone together once more after his confession. you saw that he had fallen asleep, but he looked so tired, you couldn't bring yourself to wake him up. “are… are you okay?” he's absolutely frozen as you tentatively approach him, pausing a bit uncertainly before approaching him to get a closer look. he grabs you and tugs you towards him, wrapping his arms around you in an almost bruising grip. he nuzzles his wet face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your familiar scent in between shudders.

“beomgyu, are you sick? did you have a bad dream?” you ask. his heart would flutter at your concern, concern you haven’t shown him for so long, in any other context; but as it is, he’s far too distraught to appreciate it.

“i… i remember,” he croaks, trying to get even closer to you, as if doing so is the only way to keep you safe. you’d like to break out of his embrace, but he’s so distraught while you’re so off-guard, you don’t do it just yet.

“remember what? something about the project? we can—”

“no. i’m—i remember… i remember losing you.” he can’t quite bring himself to be any clearer, but you seem to understand him, anyway. you stiffen in his arms before prying him off of you. he fumbles for you, just to touch you again, but you push him away. you exert very little force, but it’s firm and unrelenting.

“oh,” you reply, looking a little lost, but mostly just cold. he's basically wailing now, but he tries his best to answer.

“i’m so, so fucking sorry. i didn’t—”

“what, you didn’t mean to? you’re sorry? maybe so, but does it matter?” you cut in, almost snarling. now that he remembers, all of the feelings, all of the resentment you’ve kept bottled up come tumbling out of your mouth. “what's the point in telling me this now, after everything? you’re not sorry, beomgyu. you only care because i’m—because i was gone. i don’t want to hear about your regrets; they’re worthless to me.” he recoils as if you just punched him. his eyes turn even redder than they were before, too, and he’s silent at your words.

he wants to tell you that you’re wrong, because he really is sorry, but can he truthfully say that he’d realize his feelings if you didn’t… go? he can’t. for all he knows, he’d have rejected you forever. he's so ashamed, he'd rather die than feel this way. even so, he wants to attempt to explain himself; you deserve that much. before he can reply, however, you rise and stalk towards the doorway. it’s reminiscent of the way you left when everything happened, and he desperately tries to follow you, grabbing your arm before you can make it out the door.

“don’t touch me. don’t you ever touch me,” you seethe, ripping yourself out of his grip as if the mere feeling of his hands on you burns through your skin, and he staggers backwards. he keeps his arm somewhat outstretched, though. just in case you change your mind.

“don’t leave like this. i-i don’t want you to get hurt.” not again.

“what’s it matter to you?” you sneer. “you didn’t care before, so i won’t waste my life on you ever again.” his eyes widen in terror, and tears fall even more profusely than they already were. you begin to leave, but to your regret—and to his anguish, the angriest part of you forces you to turn around and face him again.

“do you want to know what my last thought was?” you ask, face mostly blank besides the slight traces of disdain in your eyes, and he’s too terrified to move or even speak at all. he knows whatever you say will be something that breaks him, so he tries to shrink himself to be as small as possible; subconsciously praying that doing so will make him disappear in the face of your anger. still, your eyes remain locked on his face—narrowing in on him regardless of his efforts. “it was of you, actually. i was wishing i’d never met you.” he visibly flinches as he gasps sharply, feeling like you just knocked the air out of his lungs. he feels like he can’t breathe. it would have felt better if you had just ripped his heart out of his chest, because as it is, it’s aching so badly, he wishes you had.

his lips tremble, and he looks like he’s just heard the worst news of his life. and he has. you hate him that much? you regret all of the time you had together to the point of wishing it had never happened? he’s never, ever regretted a moment he’s spent with you, but he guesses your company has always been better than his. how could it not be? you’ve always given him more than he could ever reasonably ask for, and even if you hadn’t, you’re still a much better person than he is. better to the extent of making him realize just how unworthy he is.

he lets you leave, but his anxiety makes him frantically pace about the room. he tugs at his hair, willing himself to calm down, but he just can’t. after a few minutes, he texts you and asks if you made it home. to his relief, it says that you’ve read the message, so he knows you must be okay. still, you don’t respond.

the deal is tied up exceptionally smoothly; you’ve done it before, after all, so that comes as no surprise. on the night of the celebratory dinner, you take mingi as your date. you’ve already told him that you don’t see things panning out, but he actually takes it really well. maybe telling him that you’re planning on moving helped smooth things over. still, he insists that you accompany him to the dinner, just as friends. you oblige.

it’s mostly the same as you remember. you spend the night mixing with your coworkers for the last time, and it’s bittersweet. they don’t know that this will be the last time you see them, as your two weeks before resignation have already passed in secret, and you’ll spend the next few weeks just packing and finding a new place to stay far, far away from here. it’s freeing, in a way.

at some point, your manager announces that he’ll be making a toast, and the room quiets as everyone’s attention is placed on him.

“firstly, i’d like to celebrate the success of this collaboration. everyone has worked hard to make everything come to fruition. secondly, i’d like to recognize two of the people who made this possible.” he specially thanks you and beomgyu, which is normal, but the unexpected happens when he voices his regret that you’ll be resigning.

your coworkers look at you in shock, but one person in particular is especially stunned. beomgyu. your manager probably thanks employees of the other company, too, but he doesn’t hear it. other voices, other people, are drowned out by the buzzing in his ears. you’re leaving, and it's all because of him.

he tries to drown his feelings in alcohol, stomach burning with every round, but the regret never seems to numb. the room seems to be spinning, and he looks visibly ill. eventually, a familiar figure takes a seat next to him. ah. his previous fiancée.

“hey,” she says, somewhat coyly. he doesn't respond. “wow, are you okay? you look a little green. how are you getting home?” again, he doesn't respond. she actually appears to be embarrassed, but she tries one more time.

“i actually—i came over here because you're really… cute. if you don't have a way home, i can take you. i won't try anything on you, but i can't just let you go home alone. and maybe, you know, when you're sober, we can—”

“beat it,” he snaps. he knows it’s not her fault, and that she hasn’t done anything, but he still can’t help his resentment, even when it should all be directed towards himself. but his recognition of his unfairness isn’t enough for him to care. she blinks in surprise and embarrassment, rising from her seat in defeat.

beomgyu continues to drink until he’s on the verge of passing out, putting his face in his hands. he draws attention from everyone, but he doesn’t have the mind to care. people try to approach him, but he flatly rejects everyone who attempts to offer their help in order to ensure that he gets home safely.

“should you… should you take him home?” mingi asks. it’s obvious who he’s referring to.

“it’s not my problem,” you reply, a bit more curtly than you intended.

“you’re right, it’s not. but you’re the only one he’ll listen to, and i think you know that.” mingi argues. you sigh. he’s right. as much as you want to blame beomgyu for everything, you’ve come to realize that after the conversation—more like confrontation—you two had, you’re not angry anymore. it was hard to see in the moment, but you’ve begun to question your merciless stance towards him. isn’t it partially your fault that things turned out the way they did? he didn't make you check your phone that day, so isn’t it unfair to completely blame him for everything?

with this in mind, you approach him. he initially bats you away, assuming you’re just another one of his coworkers, but your voice pulls him out of his drunken stupor.

“c’mon. i’ll take you home.” his head whips up in surprise, and he almost thinks you’re joking, but your face is completely serious.

“o-okay,” he replies, sounding extremely docile. you don’t respond, but you begin to walk ahead of him as you head to the exit. he’s having a hard time even following you as he clumsily staggers through the crowd, following you like a lost puppy. hesitantly, he reaches out for your hand, though the fear of you telling him not to touch you remains. you turn back to see his fingers hesitantly outstretched to your hand, and with a look of resignation, you let him grab it as you lead him out.

the ride to his home is a silent one. beomgyu rests his head upon the cold window as he stares at the scenery outside. he doesn’t really take anything in, far too dazed to appreciate the view, but he looks, anyway.

when you enter his apartment, begrudgingly letting him lean on you for support, you take him to his bedroom. he plops down onto his bed in an unnaturally clumsy manner.

“th-thanks for taking me home,” he says meekly.

“mm,” you reply, no inflection of emotion in your tone, getting ready to leave and head to your apartment.

“w-wait! can you… can you stay here tonight?” you look at him doubtfully, but before you can resolutely deny him, he begins to retch. with widened eyes, you pull him up and drag him to his bathroom. he hunches over the toilet and lets everything go. he’s trembling after he’s finished, and you clean him up as best as you can. he melts into your touch as you gently wipe his face. you’re not soothing him with your words like you would’ve a few months ago, but your care, no matter how unwilling you seem to give it, is something he revels in. he brushes his teeth, but he keeps his eyes on your pensive reflection in the mirror. after he's finished, you speak.

“i’ll stay,” you tell him.

“w-what?” he questions, eyes watery.

“i’ll stay for tonight. i’ll take the couch. i just don’t want to leave you when you’re feeling like this. it’s dangerous.”

“n-no! you can stay in the guest room.”

“i need to be able to hear you if something happens,” you argue.

“th-then i’ll sleep on the couch. i don’t want you to—”

“beomgyu, you need to properly rest. if you don’t sleep in your room, i’ll leave.” his face crumbles before he acquiesces with a strained nod.

“good,” you say with a ghost of a smile at his blind obedience, but he's too drunk to notice it. if he had, he would’ve clung to it like a man drowning.

“thank you,” he solemnly whispers.

“goodnight, beomgyu.”

“goodnight,” he says, and you rifle through his drawer for some clothes before heading to his living room and changing. you pull out spare blankets from his linen closet before sliding onto his couch.

you sleep rather peacefully, but beomgyu has no such luck. instead, he's pulled into a dream—one he comes to realize is a memory.

when beomgyu arrives at the coroner’s office, there is a moment, albeit brief, that he sickly hopes that it’s literally anyone else in the world, but when he sees you—body mangled nearly beyond recognition—he realizes that there is no such mercy. apparently, you didn't even die on impact, but by the time somebody reached you, you were already gone. he doesn't want to imagine how you must've felt, being alone in your last moments, but he feels like he should. against the warnings of the coroner and surrounding police officers, he demands for your face to be uncovered. he can surely identify you based on frame and clothing alone, but for reasons he doesn’t dare to dwell on, he feels like he just has to see. he just has to be sure. he just has to know what he did to you.

and he does come to know it. to his eternal regret, he begins to know it at that moment, and consequently, every moment after. as it turns out, they suspect that you were looking at your phone before you swerved off of the road. he doesn’t know how, but he’s instinctively sure that it’s because you were waiting on his call. one resounding thought thrums incessantly in his head: it’s all his fault, all his fault, all his fault.

your face is bloody, barely even showing any of the underlying skin, and marred from shattered glass. he swallows thickly as he reaches out to touch you, running his hands over the gashes on your face as softly as he can as to avoid hurting you, and he can’t help but wonder if it’s at all possible for him to tend to your wounds. he would go over single one, softly patching you up back to normal; but you're already cold to the touch, and though you definitely can’t feel anything, his mind imagines how much it must hurt to have him caress the gaping wounds on your face. he snatches back his hand, as if his touch is poison to you.

“s-sorry, i’m really sorry!” he panickedly exclaims. “i-i won’t—i didn’t mean to hurt you.” he’s unsure if he means that in the current physical or the previous emotional sense, but does that really matter? he already has. besides, you can’t feel anything anymore. all of your muscles are relaxed, leaving you devoid of any expression as your eyes hollowly stare up at the ceiling. for a moment, he wishes the hurt he saw in them a mere hour ago was still there. anything would be better than the current blankness of your features.

the blankness remains, however, even after all of the makeup and superficial repairs done to make you look like you’re only peacefully asleep. to him, you just look dead, no matter how badly he wishes the former were the case. as much as he wants to speak at your funeral, he does not. he doesn't deserve the dignity to speak, much less to properly mourn you. not after what he said to you. not when everything that's happened is all his fault.

the breakup with his girlfriend—or fiancée—is more bothersome than he can handle. in between her pleas and attempts to reason, all he can do is coolly recite the constant refrain: “i’m sorry, i just don’t want to be with you.” she tells him he’s just grieving, that he’ll get over it with time, and she wants to support him while he does it; but he montonously repeats his words as if they're the only ones he knows. in her anger and desperation, she tells him he’s making a mistake, and that he’s just feeling guilty because of your unrequited love, which ultimately proves itself to be the categorically worst thing to say. he finally explodes, telling her that she was the mistake, that he doesn't know what he ever saw in her that even closely compares to you, and he'd take every moment with her back if he could. she's the biggest regret of his life, which previously felt like it had only just begun, but now feels like it stretches far beyond what he can tolerate.

in the days, weeks, months that follow, he struggles to understand how something so unjust could occur. it doesn't make sense. really, it just doesn't make sense. eventually, even his initially patient friends grow weary of his neurotic harping upon how unfair it is, how sudden and wrong it all is. he should be punished. you shouldn’t have had to be the one to suffer, but you were. what kind of justice is that? what kind of universe allows something so cruel to happen right under its nose?

when everyone finally tells him that it’s time to move on and let go, he resorts to speaking to the only person who can’t argue back. you. he visits you every day, bringing you gifts on christmas and your birthday, and even just when he sees something he think you'd like. in a way, they’re almost like sacrifices to you to atone for what he did. his contrition. he spends many of his visits by raving like a man gone mad at a stone slab. he likes to think that you’re agreeing with him, that you see the unfairness for what it is. he’s realized that he loves you, has always loved you, but he was too self-absorbed to notice. as hypocritical as it is, he’s only noticed after you… left, and he’s more disgusted by himself than he ever thought possible. still, he thinks you deserve to know. you deserve for him to be brave and tell the truth, but who cares? what’s the use of only recognizing it after everything he’s done?

he apologizes to you while crying about how much he misses you. he tries to tell you about other things, too. about the things he thinks you would’ve liked to hear. about current events he decides you’d find funny or interesting, about life updates on your friends that you’d want to know, about how a new album has been released by an artist you really liked, and that he can't quite bring himself to listen to it yet. he’ll definitely listen, though, someday. he’ll give you his opinions after describing each track in great detail, once he’s able to bear it, that is. you always look(ed) forward to their releases, so it’s the least he can do to repay his debt to you.

but if you owe someone a debt as deep as their life, how can you repay that debt when they’re no longer here to collect it? if he really thinks about it, there are a lot of things he owes you. he owes you the years you spent caring about him when he couldn’t be bothered to reciprocate a fraction of the same courtesy. he owes you every thoughtful action, every encouraging word you wasted on him. he owes you the time you dedicated to make sure he always felt seen, felt understood, felt loved. yes, he owes you a lot of things—too many to properly account for, actually. and now, he even owes you your life. his debt is so heavy, he crumbles under it every day, squirming pathetically beneath the crushing weight of it all like an insect. the worst part is: he owes you more than you ever asked him for. all you wanted in return was honesty, but it appears that even that was too much to ask from him.

he wishes you were here to punish him, to scorn him for being such a fucking bastard. yell at him, hit him, kill him. anything would be fine—he’d tolerate it all—just as long as you were still here. he’d be perfectly content with your hatred, he’d revel in it, even; but he supposes that he doesn’t even deserve that much. as it is, your silence is the most punishment he can receive, but that doesn't feel like it's even close to enough. he finds himself praying for mercy, for some bizarre, cosmic event to put him out of his misery once and for all. he indulges in the idea that if he plays his cards right, if he begs and pleads enough, he’ll find you again. such a notion is initially enough to placate him, but it is to his horror when he realizes that he’s more afraid of that than anything else. what if he finds you, and you tell him, “i never want to see you again,” just like before? such a terrifying outcome is enough to keep him from snuffing out his own light with his own two hands for good. he’d rather live as if he were dead than hear those words again.

so he does. he lives like that for years, decades, until death mercifully takes him. he lives quietly and utterly alone. no wife, no children, and hardly any friends. if your life was robbed from you by his actions, then it’s only right that he lives as if his own were robbed from him, too. it’s the least he can do to atone for what he’s done. what keeps him up at night, though, is the possibility that it’s just not enough. if you do meet him again, what will you say? will you still tell him that you don't want to see him? that the lifetime he spent regretting everything he's ever done pales in comparison to the price you paid for caring about him? as the darkness overcomes him, however, he realizes that you deigning to say anything at all to him is better than your unbearable silence. his final thought before he's swallowed whole is: please, just let me see you one more time.

beomgyu awakens in a cold sweat, panting heavily as he struggles to understand where he is. is he still alive? that can’t be right—he clearly felt himself slipping away. but what if he can’t die? what if that’s his punishment? the thought alone is enough to elicit a guttural, “no, no, no!” out of him as he realizes that his nightmare is not yet over, and may very well never be. tears pour down his face as he wails like a child.

“beomgyu?” you say as you walk through the doorway, looking somewhat sleepy and disheveled in clothes he subconsciously registers as his own. when he looks at you, he's relieved, but the regret he feels is what overwhelms him.

“oh, god. i'm—it's all my fault.”

“what?” you ask, still a bit disoriented from just waking up, seeing as how it's still the middle of the night.

“it's all my fault. it's all my fucking fault. i did that to you.” suddenly, you realize what he’s saying, and your heart clenches at his words.

“beomgyu, no. i was distracted. i didn’t see—”

“you were distracted because of me. you thought i was calling you, i just know it. you were there because of me. because i’m a fucking coward who couldn't just tell you the truth.” you don’t know what to say. did he really blame himself for everything? even after all of this time? before you can answer, he speaks again.

“i saw—you just looked so small. i've never—i didn't even think anyone could bleed that much. you were so cold, a-and your face was—”

“hey, hey, hey, stop it,” you say firmly, but gently, “you're not—”

“they said you died at the scene, all… all alone. and i know i was the one who did that. if i had just listened to you, if i had just been honest with you, you would've been alright. but i called you crazy. i said you were being stupid. w-why did i say that? what did i do it for?”

“look at me,” you say firmly, which makes his unfocused eyes zero in on you. “listen, listen to me. it's not your fault, okay? i used to feel like it was, but now i understand that you were scared. i know you couldn't control how you felt about her, and you were right about you not owing me your feelings. you could've been honest, but that doesn't mean you killed me.”

“no, i did it. i did it. i did that to you. if i had just—”

“gyu,” you sigh, and his heart can’t help but stutter at the nickname you haven’t called him in months. “i’m telling you it’s not your fault. i used to blame it all on you, and i was wrong for doing that. but you get it now, right? you're supposed to be with her. you love her.”

“no, no, no! i don't. i really don't,” he desperately exclaims, trying to convince you in the only way he knows how.

“maybe not yet,” you concede, “but you will. once you get to know her, you'll want to spend the rest of your life with her. that's how it's supposed to be, just like before.”

“there is no before,” he cuts in pleadingly. “i lived and died alone, just like i deserved. i just—i love you so much, i couldn't stand to let you go.” you frown at his words—they make you actually feel guilty. even so, you guess that it's time to let the purgatory you find yourselves in go. besides, maybe he needs an apology to finally put it all to rest.

“i'm sorry that—” his heart drops to his stomach. please don’t say it. he’s begging you not to say it. not to someone as unworthy and filthy as him.

“don't. please, please, don't apologize to m—”

“—i made you feel that way. even when i hated you, i never wanted you to live like that; but you can't mistake guilt for… something else. maybe this is another chance to get it right. you can be with her guilt-free, and i can live without regrets.”

“no, i-i didn’t break up with her because of guilt! i did it because i realized that if it’s not you, i don’t want it to be anyone else. it can’t be anyone else.”

“you don’t know that,” you sigh. “you think you feel that way, but you’re just sad that things ended how they did.”

“you’re wrong!” he exclaims. “i didn’t realize it—i was too stupid to realize it. and i know it’s disgusting of me, but i only… i only understood it after i lost you. i-i’m sorry i didn’t realize it before, but please don’t tell me how i feel. i spent every day wishing i would just fucking die so i could see you again. i just couldn’t stand living without you. that’s not normal—that’s not how friends feel, no matter how guilty they are. i just wanted to die.” you purse your lips at his words as you feel dread pooling in your stomach. at least when you died, you didn’t suffer for long, but he suffered for the rest of his life. in the same way, you didn’t want him to hurt himself, no matter how angry you were.

beomgyu has begun to hyperventilate, but he doesn’t take his eyes off of you—too afraid that you’ll disappear if he does. he’s probably having a panic attack as tears stream down his face, and he ruthlessly tugs at his hair in pure distress. all he can do is repeat that it's all his fault and how sorry he is, and any lingering resentment you may feel dissipates like smoke at his absolutely shattered state. it seems like he really can't live without you, so are you sure you can abandon him like this? you don't think so. although it may not be right, you still think that it's worth a shot. you don't think he has the capacity to hurt you ever again, and you realize that even after everything, you don't think you can love somebody the way that you love him. so, you're willing to let him try again.

“hey, hey. stop it,” you coax, seating yourself on his bed. but he can’t stop it, he physically can’t. he’s whimpering now, like a wild beast with a mortal wound. you don’t hesitate to take him into your arms, holding him tightly as you shush him. “shh, it’s okay, i’m here. don’t cry. i’m here, and i won’t leave again. i promise. just breathe, in… then out. that’s it, just like that. good job.”

eventually, his breath begins to even out, though his body is still racked with shudders. you’re here. you’re okay. you promised that you won’t leave him, and you always keep your word when it comes to him. he finally feels like he can breathe, and even though he’s in so much pain, he still wishes this moment will never end. he wishes he could stay in your arms forever, never letting you leave his side. always staying where he can reach you.

“better?” you ask, pulling away to get a good look at him, but he shakily grips your sleeve in sheer desperation. he just has to be touching you, somehow. he forces himself to nod.

“good,” you say, eyes soft and lips slightly upturned in relief. he almost loses it again at the sight of your smile, no matter how small. he never thought he’d see it directed towards him again in this life or the next. “do you want to start over?”

“s-start over?” he asks. he doesn't dare to let himself hope that you mean what he thinks you mean.

“start over,” you nod. “we can try again, okay?”

“oh, p-please,” he begs. he’s so pathetic. he doesn’t deserve your mercy, but he supposes he’s too selfish to reject it. you look at him for a long, long time with soft eyes. you’re not angry anymore—he’s suffered more than enough, and you finally believe that he loves you just as much as you love him, and maybe even a little more than that.

“you promise you won't hurt me again?”

“i promise. i swear to god—”

without a second thought, you gently cup his face in your hands, which makes his words catch in his throat. his eyes widen as you lean in while pulling him towards you. when your lips meet, he’s electrified to his bones. he melts into the kiss, whimpering slightly at the feeling of your lips against his. when you break apart, you rest his forehead on his own, closing your eyes as he stares at you before he does the same. he clutches the hand you have on his face and grazes his thumb over it as he lets out a contented sigh. nobody has ever made him feel this way before, and if he could go back to the first day he met you, he’d tie you to him immediately.

“thank you, thank you so much,” he whispers. with a smile, you press your lips against his again. he falls into the feeling just as easily as the first time, and you push him down before continuing to go even deeper. before completely giving in.

you spend the night loving and being loved in a way that you never thought you could. you feel cherished to a degree you previously considered impossible. beomgyu reveres you as if you’re his god, and he shows you as much with how loving and gentle he is. when you’re finished, panting heavily against each other, he holds his hand against your cheek as he stares at you in awe.

“i missed you so much. i love you so much. i promise that nobody will ever love you as much as i do. i promise that nobody will ever treat you as well as i will. just don’t leave me, okay?” and when the time comes, even if you do leave first, he’ll be sure to follow you. he won't let you be alone ever again. but he definitely can’t tell you that, or else you’d yell at him for not caring about his life enough.

“okay,” you tell him with a sleepy smile, and he beams before kissing your forehead and letting you drift off. he stares at your peaceful face, resolving to always give you what you want, no matter what it costs him. even if it kills him, he'll gladly do whatever it takes to ensure that you're happier with him than you could ever be with anyone else. he'll prove to you how much he loves you, and he'll pay back the debt he owes you a million times over. you'll see. he’ll marry you, start a new life with you, and chain himself to you forever; which may sound selfish, but he’ll make up for his willfulness by being everything you could ever want and need. and finally, before he joins you to sleep, he thanks the universe for having mercy on him—for letting him see you again.

notes pt. 2: ... so? LMAOOOOO i hope this was worth the wait bc this work was so hard for me to get through it was making me so sad to write it. anyway, love yew. please don't be mean to me tho like if u don't like it just close your eyes n scroll 🙏

permanent taglists: (sfw only) @defnotleee @yaoizee @tubatukimoa ([n]sfw/sfw) @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @everythingvirgoes @midwinterblizzard @sooberryworld @20-cms @hyueika @boba-beom @vicurious28 @blossommi @lickingan0rchid @katsukis1wife @binniebakery @notevenheretbh1 @shymexican @that1sadgrl @archoive @paegesoobin @buttercreamerie @ifwtxt @softesyoongi @serenityism00 @fairfootedflekk @kyanmeai @definitelynotherr @hyunj00 @taehyunluvrs @m00gyu @denleave1088 @hwanghyunjinismybae @bmo-bri @todorokiskitten @choikanghuening @naoristerling

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#niningtori #the way we were before #txt angst #beomgyu angst #txt ff #beomgyu ff #beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu fic #txt fic #txt x reader #txt x you #beomgyu x you #txt x y/n #beomgyu x y/n

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trashytracktales · 2 days ago

Note

Idk if you write about this topics since they are really sensitive, but it is something I’m currently struggling with and I would like to see how lando would react after finding out that the reader has been hiding a her struggle with mental illness and attempts of ending her life. Once again I know how sensitive this request is but I started reading your work and fell in love with it and thought that you would write this beautifully

Seasons change | LN⁴

💌 REQUESTED by anon ──── This was a pretty difficult one-shot to write, even though it's not very lengthy. I know that mental health is still a topic of actuality that we all deal with in one way or another. The only thing that I want you guys to remember after reading this, is that you are not alone. I know that it may sound like a broken record, but it's true. Each of us has a Lando in our lives who will care enough to stand by you without ulterior motives or conditions. And if you really feel like you don't, I can be him for you. My DMs and ask box are always open, so don't hesitate to reach out if you need someone. You matter in all your forms 🤍

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

☆ summary ──── He's been away for work for a while now, but when Lando comes home to find his girlfriend at her lowest, they have to learn the hard way that love is about sitting with each other in the dark, not just chasing the light.

☆ pairing ──── Lando Norris x she/her reader

☆ rating ──── mature

☆ category ──── F/M

☆ word count ──── 2.6k

☆ date ──── Jan. 11, 2025

☆ warnings ──── 16+, established relationship, soft!Lando, mental health struggles, depression, suicidal ideation, mention of alcohol consumption and pills, emotional distress, vulnerability, guilt and healing, non-sexual nudity (bathtub scene, including tenderness and intimacy).

Please, proceed with caution and prioritize your well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling, these are some of the resources I personally used for years now & I think (and hope) that it might help you at some point:

☆ MENTAL HEALTH APPS

Calm

7 cups

BetterMe

☆ INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS

idontmind

thefabstory (also an app)

getreformative (currently inactive, but great resources posted there)

talkspace

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

THE APARTMENT IS too quiet tonight. A space that once felt like a sanctuary, now seems to close in on her, the walls pressing closer with each passing hour.

To anyone looking in, her life might appear perfectly ordinary, even enviable. She has a stable job that she loves, a couple of friends who care in their own way, and Lando. Lando, with his boundless energy, his boyish grin, and his unwavering ability to see the good in her even when she struggles to find it in herself. But beneath that polished surface, there’s a darkness she’s been hiding for as long as she can remember.

She’s not really sure when it happened, or what caused her to lose her spark. Most of the times, she thinks that she’s always been like this, but that can’t be right. Although, at this point in time, it went on long enough that she learned to wear masks and mimic people’s gestures. It’s exhausting, but it’s easier than explaining why some days she can barely drag herself out of bed, or why her mind feels like a storm she can’t escape.

Lately, the same storm has been relentless. Lando’s been away for weeks, hopping from one race to another, his life a whirlwind of fast cars, tons of people, and flashing cameras. She’s proud of him, of course, but his absence leaves a void she can’t seem to fill on her own, no matter how many phone calls they share.

She knows it’s not his responsibility to fix her, but without even knowing it, Lando does it every time he looks at her. In those moments, pieces of her heart are welded back together, giving her hope that one day, maybe, it will be whole again.

Of course, things aren’t that easy.

She’s always been a loner, someone who enjoys her own company more than the chaos of others. This is why she doesn’t go with Lando to all of his races. Over time, they’ve developed their own rhythm, and it only works when they both put in the effort to be together. However, she knows that he often works for both of them. She also knows that it’s not right to let him do this, but she doesn’t know how to stop.

But being alone isn’t the same as being lonely, and lately, the loneliness feels like it’s swallowing her whole. She tries to keep busy, to distract herself with work or a new book, but the dark thoughts always find her; a cycle she can’t break. They usually creep in at night when she’s most vulnerable, whispering lies she can’t ignore.

You’re a burden.

He’d be better off without you.

Everyone would be better off without you.

In spite of everything, she knows she’s lucky, though. She has a roof over her head, food on the table, and someone who loves her. And, somehow, knowing that only makes her feel worse. Most of the times, the guilt is suffocating — a heavy weight that presses down on her chest until she can’t breathe. She’s tried to push the thoughts away, to drown them in work or meaningless distractions. She tried to be grateful. But tonight, like many other nights before, they’ve won.

When Lando steps into the apartment, the soft click of the door is echoing in the stillness. It’s late — later than he’d hoped — and he assumes she’s already asleep, because he texted her hours ago to let her know he was on his way, but there had been no reply.

Dropping his bag quietly by the door, he toes off his sneakers and glances toward the dimly lit living room. The faint glow of the city skyline filters through the curtains, casting muted shadows across the floor. He moves carefully, not wanting to wake her, with a simple plan in mind: slip into bed, wrap his arms around his girlfriend, and fall asleep to the steady rhythm of her breathing.

But something feels off.

On his way to the bedroom, he spots the balcony door slightly ajar. A cool breeze sneaks through the crack, carrying with it the faint scent of something acrid. He pauses, his brow furrowing as he approaches the glass door.

That’s when he sees her.

She’s out on the balcony, her back to him, legs dangling dangerously over the edge. For a moment, he’s frozen in place, his mind struggling to process what he’s seeing. Then his gaze shifts, taking in the scene: some things are knocked over on the small table by the door, a small flacon of pills alongside a half-empty bottle of wine, and all the mess. The realization hits him like a physical blow, and his heart starts pounding in his chest.

But then, panic grips him as he slides the door open, stepping out onto the balcony. The sound startles her, and she turns her head slightly, her expression distant and unfocused. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and there’s an eerie calmness about her that chills him to the core.

“Hey, is everything okay?” asks Lando, his voice soft as he crouches beside her, careful not to make any sudden movements. “What… baby, what are you doing out here?”

She doesn’t answer immediately, her gaze drifting back to the city below. The silence stretches, each second feeling heavier than the previous one.

“Talk to me,” he pleads, his voice slightly cracking. His eyes dart back to the table, to the pill bottle and the wine, and he feels a surge of anger mixed with fear. “Is this—fuck. Did you take these?”

She shakes her head, a small smile curving in the corner of her mouth. “I’m so tired, love,” she whispers finally, her voice shaking over the hum of the city.

Her words hit him like a punch in the gut, and he’s suddenly aware of how fragile she looks, and how close she is to the edge. His hands shake as he reaches for her, gently gripping her arm. His heart beats so hard that he feels it throughout his body — his ribcage, in his throat, in the hand he tightens around her, to make sure he’s holding her with enough force.

“Okay. That’s okay,” he says, his tone soft but urgent. “Let’s go inside, yeah? I’m tired too, we can rest together. What do you say?”

“No… no, it’s not—” she tries to speak, but her brain is clouded by a mental fog, and everything around her moves too quickly for her to catch up.

“Come on, can you step back? Please. For me?”

His last question is what jolts her back to reality. For him? She would do anything for him. Lando knows that, and she soon realizes that he is using it to emotionally blackmail her. He always does that, and it annoys her.

She raises her head to look at him, her tired eyes meeting his, and for a moment, Lando thinks she’ll comply. But then, she pushes his hand away, a trace of betrayal crossing his face.

“No. It’s pretty out here,” she says, gazing down at the world that simply exists under her feet. The distance makes her stomach clench, knowing that all it takes it’s a small misstep for everything to end. Still, she doesn’t move an inch.

“I see that, love,” he agrees, “But I want to talk to you, and I can’t do that unless I make sure you’re safe. Did you… do this before?”

She nods slowly, refusing to look at him.

At that, Lando exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, trying to calm the storm in his chest. He knows her enough to know when to push and when to give her space, only this time around, he’s met with a weird combination of both. Luckily, his body decides what to do before his mind agrees to it and, cautiously, he climbs up to join her on the edge, his hands gripping the cold railing as his pulse pounds in his ears.

Her head snaps toward him, her expression instantly shifting, panic flashing in her eyes. “No, what are you doing?” she whispers, her voice cracking.

“I’m with you,” he murmurs, his voice tender, laced with fear he’s desperately trying to hide. “If you’re staying here, then so am I.”

She blinks, her lips parting as if to protest, but no words come. Instead, her gaze softens, the wine-induced haze in her eyes clearing. Slowly, she lets out a shaky breath and sits down on the narrow ledge, her hands gripping the edge. Lando follows her lead, sitting close but careful not to crowd her, his knee brushing hers. He hesitates for a moment before gently reaching for her hand, and he exhales relieved when her fingers close around his, grounding both of them.

They sit in silence for a moment, the distant city lights flickering around them.

“I’ve missed you a lot, you know?” he finally whispers, his voice barely audible, breaking the quiet. “I never… If something happens, I don’t want to have to miss you all the time—”

“Lando, I know,” she cuts him off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” she continues, staring at their joined hands. Her voice is small, guilt creeping into her tone.

He nods, looking at her, “Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Lando says gently. “I know I’m away a lot, but if you need me, I’ll do anything.”

Her grip on his hand tightens slightly just as she turns to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she repeats, tears pooling but not yet falling. “It’s not your fault, Lan. It’s me. I… don’t even know. There’s nothing wrong, but at the same time, nothing’s quite right, either.”

He shakes his head, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Don’t apologize for feeling. It just makes me think now, because I thought you trusted me,” says Lando, his words cutting through her like a knife through butter. “I trust you,” he adds, almost like pointing it out.

She knows he does, her mind instantly replaying the moments in her mind, the times he’d come to her with his struggles. When a race didn’t go his way, and he doubted everything he’d worked so hard for. When social media was brutal, tearing him apart with words that left invisible scars. When he felt hated and couldn’t understand why. He always talked to her, shared his pain, his fears, his insecurities. He let her in, trusted her completely. And now, here she was, shutting him out when he was only trying to do the same for her.

“Don’t say that…” she starts, but her voice catches, and her breath hitches. “I’m trying.”

“I know, baby. I know,” Lando says gently, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Can we, please, just go inside?”

The tears she’s been holding back for too long finally slip free, carving hot, silent paths down her cheeks. She looks up at him, her lips trembling as she whispers, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

His expression softens, and without hesitation, he lifts her hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to her knuckles, mostly to show her that she didn’t. The gesture is so simple yet so full of love that it sends a fresh wave of emotion crashing over her.

Lando doesn’t let go of her hand as he gently helps her to her feet, guiding her back inside the apartment. The night air clings to their skin, but it’s the quiet inside that feels even heavier. He doesn’t say much, just keeps her close, his touch steady and grounding as they make their way to the bathroom.

A little uncomfortable now, she leans against the doorframe, watching as Lando moves around, carefully. He runs the water, testing the temperature with his hand, adding just the right amount of bath salts from the container on the shelf. The pale lavender-scented steam begins to fill the space, creating a safe bubble for both of them.

When Lando finally looks back at her, his expression is warm and inviting, somehow hopeful. He steps closer, reaching out to gently cup her cheek, wiping away the tear stains that remain.

“You’re everything to me,” he says softly, his thumb brushing over her skin before his hands move to the hem of her hoodie.

She doesn’t protest as he carefully lifts it over her head, his touch tender, his eyes never leaving hers. For a moment, she stands there, feeling vulnerable under his gaze, but there’s nothing but love in his expression.

Her fingers tremble slightly as she reaches out to return the gesture, undoing the buttons on his shirt one by one. His eyes stay locked on hers, silently reassuring her, grounding her in the best way possible. By the time she pushes the fabric off his shoulders, the weight in her chest feels a little lighter.

They step into the bath together, the warm water enveloping them like a soothing embrace. She settles between his legs, her back against his chest, and his arms come around her instinctively. There’s no rush, no need for words. It’s just them, surrounded by the quiet hum of the water and the soft glow of the candles Lando had lit earlier.

He presses a gentle kiss to the top of her head, his lips lingering for a moment before he rests his chin on her shoulder. “Promise you’ll talk to me next time?” he asks, his voice small but steady. “I know things won’t change overnight, I don’t expect them to. But I need to know you understand that I’m here for you. That I love you enough to listen, and feel everything with you.”

The words settle in her chest, heavy but necessary, like the first raindrops of a storm. For the first time in what feels like forever, she sees beyond the swirling chaos in her mind. The weight of his love and understanding wraps around her like the warmth of the water they’re sitting in. And then it hits her.

How life itself is the changing of seasons, a constant push and pull — a constant chaos. Sometimes, the sun will break through, lighting everything in gold. Other times, it will rain so hard she won’t see the way ahead. But Lando’s right. It will get better again. Then worse. And then better again. That’s the way it is for everyone. A relentless tide of ups and downs, joy and pain, hope and disappointments.

As she leans back into his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart, she realizes the most important thing: it isn’t always black or white. Sometimes, it’s a hazy gray — a space where the lines blur, where the answers aren’t clear, and the path you find yourself on feels impossibly difficult to navigate. But it’s in that in-between, in the murky middle, that having the right person beside you matters the most. Not to pull you into the light or demand you leave the shadows, but to sit with you in the dark, holding your hand, letting you know you’re not alone.

She swallows hard, her throat tight, but not from sadness this time. “I promise,” she finds the strength to whisper. Her breath catches, and she turns her head slightly to meet his gaze, tears still pooling in her eyes. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I—”

“You deserve everything, my love,” Lando assures her, his lips brushing her temple, before placing a tiny kiss there. “And I’ll make sure you get it.”

His definitive tone sends shivers down her spine.

She closes her eyes, feeling the water ripple softly around them, and holds on tighter, knowing that no matter what storms may come, the most important thing is that they won’t lose each other’s touch.

And that’s everything to her.

PREVIOUS LN⁴ ONE-SHOT

MASTERLIST

Thank you for reading!

None of my works are available for reposting on other platforms. Reblogs, likes, and comments are deeply appreciated ♥︎

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rafeysdeer · 2 days ago

Text

dizzy (aka clumsy reader x protective jason)

civil!reader x jason todd

prompt: jason and his really clumsy girlfriend who is so used to her bruises from simply bumping around, that she forgets that it's not exactly the usual for other people to walk around with bruises. jason who isn't exactly happy to see his girlfriend hurt and makes it his new mission to take care of her.

a/n: that one i think it looks really cute, i'm also a really clumsy person, so it was pretty easy to come out with this one, him taking care of her was just so cute, i can sleep better knowing that they got eachother, anyways, english is not my first language, hope you guys enjoy it 💗

Jason was used to bruises and injuries, part of the job he chose, but he didn't expect that on a cold thursday night, he would find his girlfriend with a bandaged wrist and bruises all over her body, some that even looked old. He expected even less that she would give him a bright smile and run to hug him as if everything was normal, what he didn't know was that bruises and a bandaged wrist were just everyday nonsense for the clumsy girl.

"Honey, what happened to your wrist? Did someone hurt you?" he asks, carefully picking up her injured wrist to take a look, a worried expression on his face, his brow furrowed as he studies it. "Oh, it's nothing, I just got distracted and fell on it, it's okay."

And Jason looked at her face with a huge question mark on his face. "Did you fall on your own arm?" he said looking more and more confused. "Yeah? It was no big deal, really, I've had worse. Come in, i made hot chocolate" she said with the brightest smile on her face, as if she didn't have a fractured wrist.

He followed her into the apartment, the confusion never leaving his face as he slowly closed the door and followed her into the kitchen. Before he could even reach the cozy kitchen, he heard a soft groan of pain, followed by a muttered curse.

He rushes into the kitchen, afraid that she was hurt, even more hurt. And he was right, when he came inside, he found two colorful mugs of boiling chocolate with small marshmallows on the counter, some of the very same hot chocolate spilled around, and his girlfriend, with the hand that was not bandaged, under the cold running water of the sink, with a light burn on the torso of her hand.

"Love? What happened?" he asks, getting closer to her so he can see the injury more clearly. "Nothing serious, Jay, just a lil' burn, i'll be fine, just give me a minute to clean it up." she says, smiling and looking really calm for someone who just burned her own hand.

And as she moves to grab the rag to clean everything up, she bumps into the counter, holding onto it to steady herself, and it hits him, something finally clicks. All the times he watched her get hurt, bump into something or someone, get burned, fall awkwardly, it's too many to count.

She made a joke or two about being a distracted person and clumsy, but he didn't realize how much until now.

He smiled slightly as he watched his girlfriend try to balance the two mugs, knowing how this would end terribly, taking the mugs from her hand. "Honey, go sit on the couch, I'll take these." He noticed her frown, already starting to protest. "You don't have to do this, Jay, I want to help." But he was already interrupting her. "Sweetheart, please, you're going to help me by going sit on the couch." She huffed slightly but went anyway, sitting down and waiting for him to come right behind with the mugs, he put the mugs on the coffee table and went towards the bathroom to get the burn ointment.

And from that point, it just became a routine, her clumsily hurting herself, him taking care of her right after, and at some point it was like he had a sixth sense of when she was going to get hurt, being a vigilante also helped a lot with his reflexes.

So, they were walking down the street and she tripped? His arm was around her before her body could even dream of falling. They were cooking and she was cutting something? The knife was out of her hand before she could cut herself, and he told her to do something safer, like opening the dough.

And just like that, it became something of his, caring for her and looking out for her, knowing how to take care of her when she got hurt, and knowing how to stop her from getting hurt, and for that, she was eternally grateful.

#jason todd #jason todd imagine #jason todd thoughts #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood #red hood imagine #red hood thoughts #red hood x you #red hood x reader #batfam #batfamily

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writingwisterias · 3 days ago

Note

How would the different eras of Leon act if someone younger than him approached him in a bar with ulterior motives? Would they flirt back? Would they take her to their bed without thinking twice? Would they think long and hard before agreeing? 👀 (ofc legal age gap xs)

Sorry if my English is not that good, happy 2025 btw !!!

Hii!

Happy 2025! Sorry it's like a week late lmao, I hope the first week hasn't been too bad...I'd love to do this for you

Warnings: Age-Gap, Drinking, Flirting, Teasing, NSFW , MDNI, Smut

GN!Reader

RE2:

You were both at a mutual house party, neither of you wanting to be there but were dragged there by friends

He assumed you were of age or at least close to drinking age, he didn't realize you were only 18

The age gap isn't that big, he's only 20 soon to be 21

But it felt wrong at first, especially when you were so open at first with flirting

He assumed it was the drink that flooded your system, giving you the liquid courage to flirt so openly

Since the age gap isn't too big I don't think he would be too bothered, after all it's only like 2-3years

Towards the end of the night he would offer to walk you back home. Is surprised you have a dorm room on your own

You invited him back first, he was hesitant opting to just chill and chat before doing anything

He's very careful with the situation, might even back out of it and opt to talk when you are sober. He's a sweetheart he doesn't want to hurt you

RE4R:

He wasn't sure why he ended up at the bar in the first place, it wasn't at this point in his life somewhere he often ended up. Opting peace and quiet instead of busy town life

Maybe he should more often when you sat next to him.

Conversation was easier with you, you didn't know about his job or the expectations he had to uphold.

When he found out your age, only around 6 years his junior it made him freeze

You were legal, had around 3 years to play with others and at least just hit drinking age

His silence made you feel like he wasn't interested, you apologized profoundly. It wasn't like you to be doing this anyway, your dickhead boyfriend broke up with you weeks ago

Leon grasped your arm preventing you from leaving, opting to get to know you better and making a choice as the bar closed which was only a few hours away

That only made the tension higher, the drunker you both got the more lingering touches

Til eventually he dragged you to his place

Infinite darkness:

You were one of the newer interns, one that had yet to discover his habits

He just didn't realize how young you were

It didn't really bother him too much, you assured him that his flirting didn't bother you and you in fact liked the attention

He offered you dinner and maybe a few drinks and it led from there

When it came to sex he did think harder, opting to make sure you were sure you wanted this

After that he kept making sure the entire way home, almost killed the mood but you understood his concern

Even then he chose to make sure you were comfortable within his space or that he was in yours

The make out sessions grow longer after each break until eventually you both caved

Damnation:

When you told him your age at first he took about 5 minutes to think about it before following you around the rest of the night

I feel like hes the type of guy to keep buying drinks because you are the only interesting person of his night

He gets drunk as well as reads the situation wrong assuming that you want to sleep with him

You didn't at first but then you do now

Follow him back to your place and his touches get more intimate in the cab

Pays for everything don't worry, at this point though he's sobered up enough to realize whats happening and will make sure you can full consent and show him id

Then you are locked in for the rest of the night, and he makes sure you know what the older guys fuck like

He doesn't want you to go back to a younger cock

RE6:

He gives me sugar daddy vibes anyway so I don't think he's bothered

Probably gives him a little bit of an ego that you even consider it to be honest

As soon as you touch him it's end game, you are going home with him. Even more of if your touches are intimate

If your hand is inching up his thigh he's smirking and moving it higher on purpose.

If you work together, say you are a younger agent or something he's touching you in the small of the back as he passes or guiding you with a hand on your hip

Any excuse to keep you close and remind you of his presence

Vendetta:

I think he would like it but he also craves closer intimate relationship with everyone so he would think about it and then act quite quickly

He's touching you first, leaning on you, hugging you

Wandering hands very quickly

He's begging you to come back with him if he's completely drunk

Like he just needs a quick fuck, you are cute and adorable

Huge size kink

He's rough and messy with kisses too, like he tastes of the drink he's been nursing all night but it feels good

In the morning afterwards I think he would feel a bit slimy, probably come back to him in waves how rough he was

Not the type to slip out before you wake up so he'll wait. Admiring the close contact of someone

Will ask for your number he's not the type for just one fuck

He likes coming back for seconds

Death Island:

At first he thought you were using him for free drinks (you kinda were but will never admit it)

You were cute, you made his cock twitch and it's been a long time since he's felt like that

When he found out about your age he was off put at first but then the more he thought about the more he wanted it

Made sure you gave complete consent as he moved quickly dragging you out of the bar

When you got to his place he was very content doing it on the couch

So were you, he had you riding him since you had the energy for it.

Muttering how perfect you were to him, sloppy kissing everywhere

Wakes up with an even bigger ego at the fact he can still score so low in age. Certified dilf

He won't go and find others unless you wanted him too

He's very keen on letting you know what a proper fuck is

#~mads rambles #leon kennedy #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy #resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #leon kennedy x you #~mads~mail💌#leonkennedy #leon resident evil #resident evil leon #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy smut

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gyaruhana · 12 hours ago

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HELLO MY DEAREST!!

May I PLEASE request headcanons for Kang Dae-Ho with preg!reader? Could be an au or not, up to you, whatever you'd prefer

My guy is UNDERRATED and I love him very much he is my husband <3

(Also could there maybe be a small portion abt the birth? If your comfortable with that only though!!)

Kang Dae-ho/Player 388 - Pregnant!reader headcannons

Synopsis: Daeho headcannons for when you're pregnant..

A/N: tried my best with this one !! hopefully it's good

Warnings: none

NOT IN THE GAMES:

➠ it's no secret that daeho is a total sweetheart

➠ got super excited the moment you found out you were pregnant

➠ secretly wants a girl (it's not a secret)

➠ absolutely talks to your stomach all the time

➠ Like he'll just randomly kneel in front of you and start talking to your stomach even if you're barely pregnant

➠ also kisses your stomach so much

➠ because he's such a sweetheart, he's there for ALL your pregnancy cravings no matter how weird

➠ he will literally run to the supermarket to get whatever you're craving for

➠ Highkey gets emotional with you

➠ like if you start crying out of nowhere he starts crying too

➠ and then you're both just there crying your hearts out on the couch

➠ do expect him to refuse to let you do anything that might be bad for the baby

➠ Not like he wasn't doing this before but he always cooks for you

➠ cooks twice as much because he's convinced you need to eat twice as much for the baby too

➠ he wants to know the gender the moment he's able to but if you don't want to know then he won't ever mention the gender

➠ just to really hide it, he buys both girl and boy baby clothes so you'll never know

➠ he may have brought too many toys for the baby honestly..

➠ He says it's because he "doesn't know what the baby wants" so he should "get everything" so your child can have "a range of options and never be sad"

➠ (He's overthinking about what toys to get)

➠ got an idea to buy one of those pregnancy simulator things so he could get an idea of the pain when you'll give birth and regretted it so bad

➠ Became a million times more doting afterwards because he is so stressed for you

➠ The closer you get to your due date, the more panicked and stressed he gets

➠ He's always watching you because he's scared that the baby will come any second now

➠ When the day finally comes and you're just in the hospital, he's by your side and holding your hand

➠ he's lowkey sweating

➠ he may have watched a few videos on birth and he's not looking forward to seeing it in real life..

➠ he still stays by your side though because he wants to be there for you

➠ he is highkey freaking out when you're giving birth because you're practically crushing his hand in yours and you're obviously in pain and that scares him so bad ..

➠ he just hates seeing you in pain so much

➠ do expect him to cry after you finally give birth

➠ he is just so eager to hold the baby in his arms but he waits for you to do it first

➠ totally fell in love with you all over again even if you look like an absolute mess right now

➠ Overall, best dad ever and i don't think anybody expected anything less

IN THE GAMES:

➠ Moment he sees you he just knows your pregnant

➠ He must have some sixth sense when it comes to you or something

➠ so panicked and nervous because what if something happens to you??

➠ can not stomach the idea of something happening so he's immediately keeping you close to him

➠ very cautious of other people who he hasn't already bonded with

➠ Always taking care of you

➠ shares his food and drink with you because he's convinced you need it more than he does

➠ every single game he's by your side

➠ always making you lean onto him for support if you have to run

➠ Honestly might even pick you up and carry you himself just so you don't hurt yourself

➠ asks you how you feel after every game

➠ when it's lights out, he whispers the cutest things while in front of your stomach

➠ he just finds it to be so comforting to talk to the baby

➠ always promises you that you'll all make it out alive and he'll give you and the baby the best life he can

➠ Overall, still a sweetheart but also very afraid for you and the baby..

"Are you okay? Nothing's wrong, right?" Daeho asks as he sits by you. He had been incredibly worried for you the moment his eyes landed on you during the first game. He could just tell you were pregnant and that scared him so much considering you were trapped here - a place where you could lose your life at any moment. The idea put him on a constant edge and he spent every waking second by your side to keep you safe. He knows he'd never be able to forgive himself if something happened to you so he promised both himself and you that he'll get the two of you out of here and find a nice place to live where you can raise the baby. "If anything feels wrong, tell me, okay?"

#xaeinfinity #squid game #squid game 2 #squid game season 2 #squid game x reader #squid game s2 #kang dae ho

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bugslaststraw · 2 days ago

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See it's funny because in the games, and in any other assorted media before the movies came out, everyone low-key just hates Robotnik. And not even in the fun dedicated way like they all seem to think he's a bit of a failure. Which sounds weird if you don't know anything about Sonic (and certainly sounded weird to me three weeks ago when I was one of those people) but it really is just genuinely the case. I think?

Obviously his family all hate him. Movie-only fans will have an idea about this one; we've got good old Geralt Robotnik who didn't give a rats ass about him in favour of his long-dead cousin Maria, whom he wants revenge for. Geralt manipulated him and used him and said "oh Ivo you're no Maria" even though Ivo probably doesn't even know who the fuck Maria is in the movie universe and so on, et cetera. Geralt sucks just as much in the games and did approximately the same thing there.

What you may or may not know is that in one of the games, Eggman runs into a descendant of his from generations into the future. That guy's name is Eggman Nega, and he absolutely hates his ancestor. He thinks he's cramping his style? He's trying to go back in time and kill him to restore his reputation as far as I remember. Not to mention he has other family and cousins, none of whom give a flying fuck what happens to him. I distinctly remember someone who's name was Collin but who's nickname was Snively and who also worked with Eggman at some point, but hated him, and then later betrayed him. I can't remember a single family member of Eggman's that actually seemed to like or even tolerate him.

He's had a lot of henchpeople too. Most of them were robots. A lot of them, like Omega, and Gamma, and Sage to an extent (although she was more like a robot daughter he built for himself) betrayed him and joined the good guys too (Sage is another outlier, she isn't exactly switching over I mean she definitely likes him but she definitely isn't loyal either so.??) I mean, Eggman isn't even surprised by the fourth time. Smaller minions like Orbot (and Cubot? another outlier) and their predecessors weren't able to betray Eggman, but definitely would've if they could've because they all disliked him because he's allegedly a shit boss. (Who says he isn't. He's evil after all.)

He "contracts" a lot of spies and stuff too. Animal characters. They all hate him as well, but he tends to hate them in return, so at least those are entirely fair game.

Not to mention all the villains he's conveniently happened to need the same thing as at the start of the game, but become inconvenient to towards the end, so they betray him as quickly as possible to get ready for their final boss fight with Sonic towards the conclusion of the story. There's more of those than I can count or care to remember. He meets his alternative universe self once and they hate each other. There's even a moment in I think the comics where Eggman loses all his memories and temporarily becomes nice, and hangs out in a village and builds things for the furry people who live there. He makes a wooden puppet style robot that also becomes like a daughter to him. She's good at engineering, just like him. Of course when he gets his memories back and becomes evil again she leaves as quickly as possible and later helps Sonic & co. She's very resentful about it all, I've heard.

None of that is surprising, of course. Eggman is an evil villain to the heroes and a loser to the villains. It's funny! It's a joke. They need to introduce scarier villains in the games to ramp up tension but they can't exactly just drop Sonic's nemesis down a hole somewhere, being as iconic as he is... So he sticks around. But as a joke, rather than an actual threat. And it's a little sad, yeah. But he deserves it! He's trying to create some sort of totalitarian egg-state and he bullies Sonic for having friends, for Christ's sake. Why should anyone want to stay loyal to a guy like that- and why should anyone do it at all? Joining the heroes is the cool thing to do! Shadow does it, Knuckles does it, Omega kinda sorta does it, Sage is toeing the damn line from what I've heard, it's...

Okay, it's kind of a lot? I mean I understand having nobody that's a good guy like the villain, but like... Not even his damn henchpeople robots? In a lot of the animated shows and comics he keeps building robot wives for himself that are explicitly created just to like him, by him. That or he's into someone who's into one of the animals, or similar. I mean, it's that bad. And it's like... Nobody? Not even once in like thirty years did anyone come up with the idea to give Eggman?? This behemoth among famous pop culture characters? A loyal henchman?

And- well, okay, nowadays this isn't true anymore. I'm sure we all know why. And that's kind of fun; in 2020, Doctor Robotnik gained his first and only loyal henchperson. Great! But...

Jeff Fowler is a Sonic fan, isn't he. Would he know..?

Would anyone involved in making the movies know that Eggman famously... Doesn't have any friends? That nobody seems to like him? That he's apparently infinitely betrayable? Do they know? Do they know? Is that why the third movie is written like that? Is it not just a character complex pulled out of someone's- I mean, when movie Eggman says that there's only ever been one person who actually liked him and one person who actually cared about him... He's quite literally right, isn't he. As in... Since 1991... Like 34 years since conception as a handful of red pixels in the hottest new platformer game there's actually, literally only been one character..? ooh I think I need to lie down for a bit

#someone come tell me im wrong.#please.#sonic #sonic movie 3 #sonic movie universe #dr robotnik #stobotnik #yeah that counts why not #oh agent stone. you absolute enigma.#not to mention.#stone as a character is an accident that wasn't in the script as we know him and was lowk a result of the actors fucking around..#im ill i think.#long post

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maenoakasuna · 2 days ago

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All For Us Part III Part I - Part II

Hello ! It's me, again ! Not gonna Lie, I don't remember the last time i Finished that much part in less than a Week. I'm probably more picky when it come to my french words since it's my first language. I feel like english is easier to express feelings, but at the same time I don't know how to express it the way I like ? It's weird.

Anyway, A good part for more Reader and Thanos moment. Not the best but definatly cute. Nam-Gyu exist and he's a bithc ( I kinda like him for real and love the Thanos-Nam-gyu Duo, please don't kill me )

Anyway enjoy this part. TW : Mention of drug, cheating, Nam-Gyu exist.

Tag : @private-vampire @rafesbunniebby

You woke up the next morning, or maybe some hours later, you weren't really sure how much time you slept, on the sound of the music you heard when you woke up the first time. This annoying music can give you the worst headache. You still felt tired and hungry. The snack you had yesterday wasn’t that much.

You sat up in your bed, realising your felt sweaty and it gross you out. You didn’t remember but you probably had a bad dream last Night.

Whipping the sweat of your forehead, you remove the hoodie and tie it up around your hips and go place yourself in line to go take breakfast. The head still in the pillow, you never heard the voice from behind, calling your name, but you felt your heart skip out of fear when you felt two arms wrapping you from behind to give you a back hug.

«-Still ignoring me, princess ? »

Thanos, of course, you should have known better. Only him could do such a thing. You try to remove his arms from around your body, but he strongly sticks to you.

«-Thanos, please. I’m too tired to deal with your childish shit.-Then, don’t. Let me just hug you in silence.»

You sight and put your hands on his arms, ready to block him if he wants to go close to your belly.

«-I’m all sweaty, you shouldn’t touch me like this and i probably smell gross. -I don’t care, baby.»

You grunt, annoyed. Back in the days it would be things you would have felt for or found adorable, but today, everything is way more different. The pets name, his demonstration of affection in public, that were things you felt for.

Out of nowhere, you felt tears in your eyes. You were about to cry. Having him so close to you like this after what happened, the stress of him discovering the pregnancy, the lac of sleep. You hated everything, especially the hormones. Without all that you could manage to hide your emotions way better. One tear slid on your cheek and you couldn’t hole a snort.

«-Y/N ? »

You could feel Thano's concern in his voice as he turned you around. You quickly wiped his tears and looked away, not able to face him.

«-Mind your business, I'm fine, you said before he could ask you a thing.»

You quickly turn around and take your lunch before going back to your bed. You could ear Thanos calling your name and following you, but you ignored him, tears still falling from your eyes. It could be so easy if He could just ignore you and at if you were two perfect strangers. Before you put your feet on the first strai to go back to your bed, you felt it was to much to keep inside and you turned around to face Thanos. At this point you didn’t care if he could see you cry, or if the other contestant could ear everything. You were just a hurricane of emotions.

«-Why do you still following me ?! We spent the last two years in a fake relationship, so why could you not fake a little more ? Why are you still trying to get me attention ? Can you just not let me alone ?! Stay away from me !»

The other around ad stop eating and just looked at you and the purple hair rapper. Thanos didn’t care about them. He’s concern was all on you. You could see his expression, it wasn’t the same he normally show in public. The naturally confident and sassy Thanos was not the one you had in front of you Right now, it was more like a sad one.

«-Y/N…»

He get closer to you and gently takes your hand. His eyes were locked on you as he wipped one of your tears.

«-I know I messed up, more than once, but I swear I never faked anything. -Just like you swear you never cheated on me ? -I didn’t ! -Oh fuck You, I saw You ! I saw you in your private room with this girl. You kissed her with such passion that I taught you would fuck her right on the table. -But I didn’t ! »

You go silent just like the others. No one dares to say something or interrupts your couple-ish fight.

Thanos passed his hands on his face, already tired of this discussion before he continued since you had nothing to answer.

«-I was High as fuck and still mad from our fight in the morning. When I arrived at the bar that day, the girl still waited for me in my room. She worked at the bar and said she was a huge fan.»

He paused and took a deep breath.

«-She looked so much like You. That’s why I let myself go, but I never fucked with her. I stopped before.»

You were speechless, for many reasons. The first was because you were shocked he showed this part of him in front of everyone. He never really showed you his vulnerability before. And the other reason was how dumb that guy was. Even if he didn’t fucked her, he still kissed her and that was cheating, at least for you.

«-Listen, I don’t want to talk more about this, especially here. You cheated, End of the story. Now, leave and let me alone.»

That was where the conversation ended. You go back to your bed to eat, whipping out your tears. When you opened your plate, it was full of rice, some veggies and an egg. It wasn’t that much, but it was enough to make you smile.

Player 222 came to see you and sat down in front of you, placing in your plate half of the egg she had in her plate. You looked at her confused. She only smiled before saying it was good for pregnant women and this part was offered by player 149. It was the old woman with her son who’s the number 007.

You were thankful to 222 and 149 for this act of kindness, it warmed your heart after what just happened with Thanos.

«-So, Thanos is the father ? Asked 222, looking in his direction. -Yeah… »

You also looked in Thanos' direction. He was with other people. They all talked but him, he was silent, something who never happened. He’s more the kind of guy who is gonna lead the conversation. Seeing him like this made you doubt for a second, considering forgiving him, telling him the truth about the baby. You remember how warm it was in his arms when he hugged you lately. It would be a lie to say you didn’t miss it.

«-Did he know about it ? -No and I don’t know if I should tell him.»

What if he doesn't have a positive reaction ? Tonight you will vote to go home after the game, but if the majority decide to stay and Thanos refuses you keep the kid, who knows what could happen to you ? If he was willing to push people during the first game, leading them you death, maybe he was crazy enough to push you to your own death and the kid death by the same occasion.

The time for the second game came and you was escorted in another room and asked to form teams of 5 players. So far you stayed with player 222 but you had to go separate way.

«-Since we are both pregnant It will be easier for us if we found a team with mens or less than just one pregnant woman.»

It was her idea, but you agreed. You know nothing about the next game after all. Looking around you, you tried to find someone or a little group who could need one more people.

You stopped your research when Number 124, Thanos Friends found you. He looked at you up and down with a smile.

«-Still Looking for a Team ? -Definitely not yours, you answered.»

He let a small laugh escape his lips as he got closer to you.

«-I think our team will be your best chance if you want to keep yourself and the baby alive. »

You looked at Player 124 shocked, surprised he knew about your pregnancy. Automatically, you cover your belly by fear he could do something to you. Seeing you doing this make him laugh as he take some step back.

«-Relax, I will not lay a finger on you. I’m not that kind of guy. -Have You told Thanos ? -No, not Yet. But if you refuse to be our last team member, maybe the information could slip out of my mouth, Who know. -How did you know I’m …»

You didn’t dare finish your sentence by fear everyone will hear you.

«-I overhear your conversation with the other pregnant girl. You should be more quiet about it if you don’t want everyone to know. -And you should keep the information for yourself if you don’t want to die. -Are you threatening me ? -No, I’m warning you.»

You and this asshole will definitely not get along really well, that’s for sure. Your eyes were locked on his as his smuggy smile didn’t disappear. He knew what he put you into and he was pleased by that.You don’t even know the guy but if you could crush his skull on the first wall you gonna cross, you would.

«-So you’re in or not ?-Do I really have a choice.-Technically, yeah. That’s up to you.-Oh shut up and lead the way to the other teammates.»

You followed number 124 in silence. Once you were with the other, Thanos seemed surprised to see his friend with you. On his side, he was with a girl with her bottom lip pierced and a guy who looked shy. It’s not exactly the type of team you thought you would have, especially coming from your ex, but it was still better than no team at all.

«-Nam-Gi ! You actually convinced Y/N to join us. I’m surprised. What have you told her ? -Actually, it’s Nam-gyu..-Yeah whatever. What have you said ? »

Thanos seemed so happy to have you in his team, but you weren't as much as him. You were confused, even. This guy, number 124, Nam-Gyu, wasn’t supposed to overhear the conversation you had with Player 222 and He used it to his advantage to bring you there cause his ‘’ boss ‘’ asked him ?! You felt so defeated. Now how can he manage to explain that to Thanos without saying a word about your pregnancy.

«-Well, she looked for a team and since the time was almost out, she didn’t had many options. Right ? »

He looked at you with this venomous smile of his.

«-Yeah, exactly. Otherwise believe me I wouldn’t be there, you answered. -Welcome in the Thanos Team, the only one who can lead you to the Win.»

Some good old Thanos rap to put a good Vibe in our wanna be team. You cannot help but smile before you are led to another room with the other contestants. This Time, the game seemed more complex than the Red Light Green light. Every team will have feets tight up to one another and are going to walk to different activities. They need to finish every little game before the end of the Five minutes allowed. One of those games was Ddjaki. You were good at that game back in your childhood and you never lost against the recruiter. Everyone agreed to let you do it.

Once everyone had their positions, we watched the other teams and learned from their mistakes. Seeing some of them behind killed in front of you was something you wish you will forget one day. It gives you more anxiety minute after minutes. You gave a look at Thanos and Nam Gyu who didn’t even seem bothered by that, casually talking and swallowing their pills. What a bunch of Junkies…

When it was your Turn, your hands were shaky and you did your best to concentrate to hit easily the other colored paper. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and hit. It turned right away and you could continue.

The other did well too and you managed to finish inside 5 minutes. The guards removed the locks at your feets and you managed to go back to the main room, still alive. On your way, Nam-gyu walked by your side, hands in his pocket.

«-You will vote to stay Tonight, right ?-Absolutely not. I need to go home. I will not put my life in danger another day»

You were stop by his body who placed itself in front of you.

«-I will make myself more clear then. You will vote to stay Tonight, If you don't want your baby daddy to know about your dirty little secret. -Oh so you are the one who is threatening me, now. -Of course not, I'm warning you. But the choice is yours to make »

And he continue his was to the main room. You looked at him leaving as you swear inside if you have to play another game, this guy will not survive. He play to much on your nerves.

Back to your bed, waiting for the others to come back, you taught about what Nam-Gyu said. You never was the kind of girl to submit to something threatening like this and if Thanos have to know about the baby, He will probably understand the reason why you wanted to leave. So your choice will not change ; You will vote to leave.

That’s exactly what you did tonight. The loss of today didn’t change that much, you will not leave this place super rich, but you will find a way. It will be better outside than here, risking your life and your baby’s life. Your mind was also on player 222 who was in the same situation as you.

After you had voted X , you saw the girl smiled at you and Nam-Gyu on the other side who looked pissed, but you didn’t care, you knew you had made the right choice.

Sadly, the majority of votes goes to O so you will have to stay and play another game Tomorrow. People are really insane, that’s so creepy.

You managed to left the main room to go to the bathroom, where you found an open space to showed at the back of the room. With your stressful day and your sweaty dreams from last night, how could you say no to that.

After you had removed your clothes, you opened up the water and let the hot water flow. It felt like a release. You didn’t even taught about washing your body, you just needed to relax more than anything else. Eyes shut, face in the direction of the water, you never heard when someone entered the room, or maybe you didn’t care.

It becomes more serious when the water stops and your body got pressed against the cold wall. When you opened your eyes, surprised and ready to hit, you were surprised to see Thanos, who seemed angry.

«-Is that true Y/N ?! Is that fucking true ?! »

Your heart started to beat way faster. You had a good idea why he was there. Nam-gyu probably told him about your pregnancy. You knew it will happen but you didn't think about how you would react if you had to have this discussion. Trembling, more cause of the fear and anxiety caused by Thanos' anger you weren't able to place a word.

«-I…Don’t… -Don’t you fucking dare to say you don’t know what I am talking about ! »

He hit the wall next to your head before taking some step back to calm himself. You stayed there, trembling, trying your best to not cry again and hiding your naked body as much as you could. he definitely have seen everything by now but it was still embarrassing.

When he felt more calm, Thanos looked back at you, but his eyes were more on your belly than on you directly.

«-Are you pregnant for real ? Is that the real reason why you’re here ? »

#fanfic #fanfiction #thanos x reader #thanos squid game #squid game #squid game thanos #squid game x reader #pregnant

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bengiyo · 2 days ago

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Ben's Big BL Blurb 4: I Hope I See Jay Sorathon Again

New year, new blurb. Time to reflect on a few shows finishing, talk about some new shows, and see where we're at in January.

Haunted Hearts Sucked

Final Verdict: 5.5, Not Recommended. Y'all don't need to watch this weird mess of a show. Despite joking about "devirginizing" its lead multiple times, it was so chaste in the end. It also did some weird world shenanigans I was not feeling. The leads are supposed to be in another Oxin Films project soon, so we'll see if they're better there.

Caged Again Flopped

Final Verdict: 6, Recommended Only For Jay Sorathon. This one really hurts me, because I genuinely loved the first half of this show. Jay Sorathon as Junior was one of the most refreshing experiences I've had in a while. This young actor is charming in a way that felt different, and I found myself enjoying every scene he was in because he could deliver what he was asked to do. However, the show generally failed to do much with most of its themes, and I think it was a real waste of Nokia and Jaonine as a pair. There were interesting themes about how Junior and Sun wanted different things out of their relationship that didn't get resolved, so all of their skinship felt disconnected from the big themes they were teasing out.

I am sad that I cannot really recommend this as a complete viewing experience, but I do not want that to detract from how much I enjoyed the entire cast's chemistry. I just cannot pretend that this show didn't peak at the gif used above before floundering completely.

An Apology to City of Stars

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended. I skipped this show originally because I was overloaded and unmoved by the first episode. However, this show was actually one of the most consistent narratives we've had about the consequences of fan culture, sponsorship, and commercialization of queer actors we've had this year. Unlike Only Boo!, this show inflicted real consequences on Feuang for coming out to the point that he essentially had to change careers (which happens to real actors all the time, going back as far or further than William Haines).

The leads also kept having sex after getting together! A novel experience! I loved that Krom had almost no swag, and Feuang fell for him entire on family photos and his mom gushing over him. He really won as a tech worker. Watch this if you're interested in seeing a show with clear ideas about the entertainment industry and are willing to deal with some weak acting.

Our Youth Left Me A Bit Wanting

Final Verdict 8: Recommended With Reservations. I wrote my write up for this already, and will say here that I like parts of this show a lot even though I wasn't fully satisfied by the viewing experience.

See Your Love Got All The Important Things Right

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended for the Mains. I will admit that I didn't much care for the side couple, but I loved Shaopeng and Sean's relationship. I loved that this wasn't a story about fixing someone's hearing so they could be in a romance. I also love that one of our final scenes in Shaopeng's dad telling Sean's dad to go fuck himself. The leads reminded me of Jimmy and Tommy from Why R U and I loved their work together.

Love in the Air Koi Was a Genuine Delight

Final Verdict: 9, Highly Recommended. I liked it a lot. I think new and old fans will be able to enjoy it. I have high hopes about cross-cultural adaptations as a result.

Love is Like a Poison Was Spectacular

Final Verdict: 9.5, Highly Recommended. I had so much fun with this show. I love that this show blended multiple genres together, and I loved that Shiba was always in a legal drama. By blending this together this way, the show supports the idea that the different ways we love and see the world are not incompatible in relationships. Shiba and Haruto are one of the best couples we had this past year, because they each made the other better, and they each add something to their relationship. Also, this show was actively horny the entire time. Run, do not walk, to support this show (if you can) on Netflix.

Fragrance You Inherit Was The One of the Kindest Shows I've Ever Seen

Final Verdict: 9.5, Highly Recommended. Thanks to the constant efforts of @isaksbestpillow we were able to enjoy this incredible show. @twig-tea already wrote a great review. I will be thinking about Sakura and Touki for years. I will just add that I really loved that Hoshii was just a goofy dude that loved the women in his home. He respected both of them, and was just so happy to be included in their shenanigans. I cannot overstate how much the episode where we met him properly kicked this show into overdrive for me. I loved that he was a good dad and husband and that it was clear his wife and daughter felt safe and happy around him. I loved that this show was about kind people doing their best.

Okay, on to the currently airing stuff.

Your Sky is Faltering, but I Still Like It (8/12)

Look, I am just not keen on the Oh redemption arc. I'm also feeling the show dragging its feet at this point. I also am not sure what the relationship between the various sides are contributing to this story. That being said, I continue to enjoy the chemistry between the leads, and I am looking forward to seeing their dating era. This show has been riding the line on the bubble, and I am curious to see where it lands.

Ossan's Love Thailand (1/12)

I've grown to love Ossan's Love over the last year, and so I was cautiously optimistic about this adaptation. I don't think the humor is as tight or zippy as I would expect, and I think the branded pair component is hurting some of the initial setup. I also feel like the shower scene shifted in a way that doesn't entirely work. In addition, making Kongdetch a widower slows down his dramatic development. I'll check in again next month.

Call Me By No Name Started Weird (1/8)

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

This show got off to a moody and somewhat intriguing start. I am looking forward to our little gamer's interactions with this possibly-fey creature for the coming weeks. It's difficult when the show starts coy.

When It Rains It Pours Has an Uphill Battle (1/7)

I am personally interested in the journey this show wants to go on as what will more than likely be a double cheating narrative. I like that the show started with boy guys in relationships they feel a bit frustrated with due to a lack of intimacy that is being actively ignored by their respective partners. I'm also intrigued because both partners seem like they're overall committed to our leads. This one started off in a mild note, so I'm curious how it holds audience attention. Still, both leads had sad masturbation scenes, one explicitly remembering when his partner used to fuck him, so it has my attention.

That's all for now! I'll check back in with one of these in a few weeks and we'll see where we're at.

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ooooo-mcyt · 2 days ago

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Scott and Joel's rivalry is so !!!

On Joel's end, I don't think Joel really hates Scott as much as he resents what Scott represents to him personally.

Joel's grudge against Scott really starts during Last Life, but as early as Third Life you can see the seeds being planted. Joel tries to steal Scott's cows, but Scott catches him and waves him off like nothing, and when Joel does eventually get cows from Scott, there's this calm sense that Scott isn't bothered by it. Joel burns Scott and Jimmy's wall and lies about it, and Scott's annoyed, but when all is settled Scott just announces, sounding almost pleased, that he'd known it was Joel all along and was glad to be validated in that after everyone else thought it was Scar.

From the beginning, there's this implication that even when Joel wins, Scott comes away from it mostly unaffected, or even validated in some way.

And then Last Life happens, and it's a hundred times worse. Joel antagonizes everyone this season, leaving death and chaos in his wake no matter where he does. Most players are angry, afraid, see Joel as one of the biggest threats on the server. But Scott just..doesn't. Joel kills Scott, but is killed immediately after. Joel blows up Scott's roof, just for Scott to criticize Joel's inefficient method. Joel covers Scott's base in lava, and Scott thanks him for the "defense", saying he kinda likes it. There are multiple scenes where Joel sneaks around Scott's base, trying to stay quiet, just to panic when Scott finds him. As if Joel, a red name, were the prey, needing to cower and hide from Scott!

Because Scott refuses to be afraid of Joel, because Scott never shows vulnerability, because Scott somehow always manages to make Joel feel small.

Since then, it's been consistent across seasons- Joel is..offput..when Scott is doing well, and Scott always seems to be doing well. Joel makes a point out of targeting Scott specifically at every turn, every chance he gets, wanting to see Scott fail.

It's not really..about Scott, though? Like yes, Joel hates how calm and confident Scott is, and he does find Scott genuinely infuriating. But I think it's always been less about Scott actually doing anything to wrong Joel and more about Joel's pride.

Joel is someone who cares a lot about how he effects people. He wants to have an impact, to be important in the eyes of others, whether by being able to frustrate them, having them admire him, or being able to intimidate them. Joel thrives off attention, for lack of a better word, and he hates Scott because Scott never seems effected by him, which is a sickening feeling for Joel. Though I'd honestly also say it's often good for Joel to have a target for his bloodlust, especially if he's using that target to work through personal insecurities too.

Scott's feelings toward Joel, on the other hand, are..complicated.

In Third Life, he really had no ill will toward Joel, to be honest. At the very beginning of the season, Scott sent Joel specifically (and nobody else) the location of his and Jimmy's base so Joel could come see them, because Scott wanted Joel there. Scott, on multiple occasions throughout the season, stops by to 'gossip' with Joel and give him information as well, and while Joel antagonizes Scott a few times, so does, like, everyone else, so Scott isn't really clocking Joel in specific as an enemy. By the end of the season, Scott and Joel are even fighting together, and Scott is openly unhappy when Joel dies (albeit not extremely so).

It's from Last Life on that Joel is really antagonizing Scott, but I think it'd be a stretch to say Scott really hates Joel. Sure, Joel can be a pain and get in the way, but I've also always got the sense that Scott- on a good day- kind of enjoys it. Scott is honestly amused by a lot of Joel's attempts against him. Not just in the condescending way when Scott wants to show he's unbothered, but also in the sense that Joel is just a really funny person and he's good at making Scott laugh.

Furthermore, Scott often sneaks through to the end of seasons with very little challenge just because people don't want to target him, and I get the sense that Scott gets a bit of a thrill out of Joel targeting him sometimes. Plus it's probably nice for Scott, who always feels the need to be the "responsible" one, to know he can be extra petty with Joel and it won't really matter (because joel will target him either way, so it's not like scott can make things much worse).

Which isn't to say Scott is completely unbothered by Joel. As I said before, Joel can be..frustrating, and even beyond that, Scott is someone who needs to always be in control of himself, so the few times Joel has genuinely won over Scott have probably been..hard to take in stride. As has the fact that Scott seemingly can't make an ally out of Joel, no matter what he does. Scott's main talent is his charisma, and having Joel be so resistant to it is genuinely offputting. A double edged sword where Scott is, in some ways, powerless, for once, but finds that to be fun as much as it is upsetting.

Overall, I don't think Joel and Scott hate each other at all. They're both very strong willed people. Joel needs to be able to effect people like he needs to breathe, but Scott refuses to lose control of himself most of the time, so they're offput by each other. But as much as they complain about one another, offputting doesn't always mean exclusively bad.

I think Joel likes Scott more than he'll ever admit, and it's honestly good for Joel to have someone to target his bloodlust onto. Joel resents the insecurities Scott represents, but he doesn't hate Scott, really.

And I think Scott likes Joel too, if Third Life is anything to go off of. Furthermore, I get the sense he almost enjoys the feeling of actually being challenged by someone who'll probably never be an ally. Even if it's frustrating.

Really, for being "enemies", I just get the sense they're almost good for each other in a lot of ways.

#trafficblr #traffic smp #smallishbeans #scott smajor #it's a traffic jam

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shiningmystic · 1 day ago

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Welcome to the little space I created for you singles to see what's coming next in love! I hope this finds you before valentines day and always be open to the possibilities that the world has. I am an energy reader and will use the energy you are giving off now to see what you are attracting into your future. Prediction readings are not a guarantee especially with energy shifts so be open and to see what comes up. Enjoy the reading? I have a small shop on Ko-fi that you can order another reading from to support me. Check pinned post for all about me as a reader!

Ko-Fi I Shmfeedback I Pinned Post

This reading is for 17 year olds and older! Minors DO NOT INTERACT or assume this is an accurate reading for you!

Thank you for your support! I send luck in love your way <3

Theme Song: Die with a Smile by Lady gaga featuring Bruno mars

First Rose: Strength, Nine of Cups (rx), The Moon (rx), Five of Swords

Clarifying Cards: Queen of wands, nine of coins (rx)

For you my first rose I do see someone coming into your life but they might not be who you imagine. I see you hold onto a lot of past judgments from your previous relationships (familial or even romantic) these judgements towards yourself are projected onto others unintentionally. I see you using this defense mechanism for helpful moments but what you desire and what you truly want isn't fully aligned. I see your expectations are high and you may wonder why this person you have been manifesting isn't here. It may be because you aren't seeing the full picture or maybe you do and see to much of peoples flaws to let them in feeling like they are just not a right fit but you really don't know; many people are good at hiding there own true selves like how others are good at hiding there not so favorable traits.

There is a difference with having high expectations to choose the right person and those high expectations being used as a way of defense instead of being helpful. I'm NOT saying to lower your expectations or standards but there is this idea you continue to hold that hinders you from finding anyone that could fit your "list". Maybe there is a job or a certain requirement this partner should have to be before you accept them and everyone who may not meet those exact lines is out of your mind. I do not think this is shallow at all, I think your just doing it to not get hurt by someone that you previously have had to abide and cater to and you want to make this relationship more worth it. I see you have been patient and strong for yourself trying to choose the right one when the right one could be anyone; you do have to let go and trust when it comes to loving someone which is something I have to learn to. Trusting yourself that you will do everything in your power to leave if you choose the wrong one. Love isn't easy but it can be simpler with the right outlook. Your dream person will come along and maybe they will surprise you but pushing others away will only push that person away as well. I am also getting the message specifically for some of you that you are learning to trust yourself and that is beautiful yet you still hold onto judgments that make you feel like your can't trust yourself. Its funny how we can pick out insecurities of others because we are insecure of those flaws in ourselves.

I've said this on my blog many times "you are worthy of all good things happening even if you did nothing to 'earn' it." Take care of yourself and do physical things to build your confidence like getting a facial, exercise, start a new hobby; build yourself up and this person will pop into your life without you realizing it. Trust me, my sister found one of her soulmates when she was done with searching for a partner (after many many years of yearning for a true lover) and I am so happy for her.

Second Rose: Temperance (rx), The Fool (rx) Judgment (rx)

Clarifying Cards: Page of swords (rx), Four of wands

For you my second rose I see no one in particular coming into your love life for multiple reasons; I'm sorry to the singles who were really hoping for something soon but do not worry love can still come this is about the future after all. The future I say is always fluid which is why you can't really pinpoint certain things, just big themes and from there its up to us readers to interpret what is going on. For you my second lovely pile I see a reluctance. For some of you you have broken up with someone recently or have seen a relationship end very ugly so in your mind you have this understanding that you won't let any of that happen to you which leads me to this block that I feel in this spread. You're kinda like the first rose, you may need to reevaluate why you desire for a person; Is your life upside down and you desire peace? Has every relationship you have jumped into always surface level amazing and it ends up in a break up? The four of wands card is usually a marriage card but it can be seen as a setting of stability and finding a place of peace which may be what you truly seek at this time. I would like to say quickly that any reason is valid to desire deep love and to know you desiring a person has nothing to do with this block, it is just the approach to love that seems to hold you back and is a cycle that keeps repeating. The judgement reversed could also talk about you having a lot of self doubt and have someone on your mind but you have fear holding you still. If you have a person on your mind know that your fear is valid yet it shouldn't dictate your happiness and you won't keep sitting there asking "what if?"

Maybe your confidence is weak compared to your desire so when there may be a chance you may shy away. It's always about confidence and knowing your worth when it comes to attracting a person who will see you for you and if your ashamed of yourself? it will only hurt you and them especially if they like the you that you may judge harshly. I see many of you my second rose is that you are way better at connecting in person then online, that the internet may feel like the only way because of low self worth or confidence when you need more physical connection and communication. There is also a pressure on yourself for some of you, like you are running out of time; your soulmates and soul family are out there always so do not doubt the untouched potential within you and outside of you. This new beginning in love holds a lot of defensive energy like the first pile but I also hear, 'They wouldn't want me...who would see me as desirable?' but you are! we all are desirable to people and you would be shocked at how many people admire you. I also need to add that for some (maybe even all of you) have been working on this and I know its hard, just keep discovering and pushing. This is pretty general reading but I've seen horrible people find love so why can't you? (I'm referring to some of my family members who are married lmao) so reevaluate what love is to you and follow that love to find someone who aligns with that type of love. Don't deny your worth, you are lovable, you are worthy and you will find the courage to find the one.

Third Rose: Knight of Wands (rx), The Tower (rx), Page of Coins

Clarifying Cards: Ace of Coins, Two of Wands (rx), Nine of cups (rx)

For you my third rose I do see someone coming in and they are quite a lovely and rambunctious individual. I see you will love how they look and enjoy the fun side of them but I also see you learning a lot from this relationship. I sense a lot of stress going on and this person will lift a lot of it and give you perspective on love that you never would have witnessed before. I think you will not stay with this person (take that with a grain of salt because I hate saying that when things can change) but I see you discovering a lot about yourself and how stable you want your love and relationships to be. I see this person giving you a taste of this stable love and I see you enjoying your time together.

Ok, now to focus on the big message of this pile; You will be growing into your own, really getting to know yourself when it comes to this person being in your life and developing a dynamic with them. For some of you this person will show you things you may not want in love and may be a little to chaotic for your tastes even though I see this person also bringing fun so its a mixed bag. You may be in that energy too, going wild and living life but I think this relationship will bring you much love and happiness. Whenever I see the page of coins I think of my sister taking a leap and learning about what works for her and what doesn't in life that relates to routine money and stability (even in relationships). The earth element to me speaks about comforts and this person will bring a new comfort that you will enjoy so really live in the moment with this person ok? Always be open to what the possibilities are and if this person is a long time partner always be open to learning and communicating even if your feelings feel 'ridiculous', they are valid and should be spoken to the person that you are putting your heart and trust into. I do sense a big emphasis on communication which is interesting when I don't see swords in the spread but communicating is key in this new relationship coming your way (as it should be in every relationship). Trust in yourself and just be honest, if they aren't open to that then you know what is best for you.

Tarot Decks used: Tarot of the Divine By, Yoshi Yoshitani

#pick a rose #pick a card #pick a pile #love life #love tarot reading #singles tarot reading #tarot #tarot readings #pac #pap #tarot reading #divination

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growthhyp · 1 day ago

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The Garage Sale X

Paul's footsteps echoed down the quiet suburban street, the only sound breaking the stillness of the early morning. He clutched the finished story in his hand, his heart pounding in his chest. The garage sale sign, scribbled in thick, bold letters on a piece of cardboard, grew larger with each step. The house it led to was a stark contrast to its neighbors: a monolith of dark bricks and tall, pointed roofs, surrounded by a wild, untamed garden. A towering figure emerged from the shadows as he approached, and Paul's eyes widened.

It was Jack, the man who had once been the subject of his curiosity. Jack's muscular frame was illuminated by the early sun, casting dramatic shadows across the driveway. The white tank top he wore clung to his broad chest, displaying the results of countless hours at the gym. His black spandex shorts accentuated his powerful legs, and his white sneakers were a stark contrast against the asphalt. The gothic cross necklace around his neck glinted as he moved, adding an intriguing layer to his otherwise simple attire.

As Paul approached, Jack's eyes flickered up from the items spread across the tables. His gaze was piercing, yet the corner of his lips curled up in what might have been a smirk. "Well, well, what brings the journalist to my garage sale?" he boomed, his voice deep and resonant.

Paul felt his palms start to sweat, gripping the paper more tightly. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. "I actually finished my investigative project," he managed to say, his voice quivering slightly. He paused for a moment, watching Jack's reaction.

Jack's gaze was unyielding, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took the paper. "Your 'project' about me, right?" He unfolded it with a casual air that belied the tension crackling in the air.

Paul nodded, his throat dry. "Yes, it's about… well, everything that happened."

Jack's eyebrows twitched in disbelief. "Hmm," he murmured, his deep voice resonating in the quiet morning. "I thought I made it clear that I didn't care what you did with your little 'project'. Why the sudden change of heart?"

Paul swallowed hard, feeling the weight of Jack's gaze on him. "Okay, to tell you the truth, I don't really know why I have this urge to make you read it," he admitted, his voice wavering slightly. "But there's something inside me that compels me to do it. It's like I need to see how you react to it, how it makes you feel."

Jack's eyes never left Paul's face, a mix of curiosity and skepticism in his gaze. He took the paper, his fingers brushing against Paul's, sending a shiver down the journalist's spine. "Fine," he said, his tone a gruff rumble. "If this is what you really want, I'll read it."

Paul watched as Jack's eyes scanned the page, his heart hammering in his chest. The sun climbed higher, casting a warm glow over the garage sale items that now felt trivial in comparison to the story that unfolded before them. The narrative was a stark reminder of the past, of a time when Jack had been the target of bullies like Adam. It painted a picture of Maria, the woman who had stepped in and saved him from the torment, her fiery spirit intimidating even the most fearsome of adversaries. Her compassion had been like a beacon in the storm, guiding Jack to a new life, one filled with purpose and meaning.

Jack's expression remained stoic as he read, his massive biceps flexing slightly as he gripped the paper. The story didn't delve into the supernatural, keeping the focus on the human relationships that had shaped Jack's life. It was a tale of redemption and growth, of how a single act of kindness could alter the trajectory of a life forever. The words flowed like a river, describing how, after Maria's death, Jack had been fueled by a burning desire to live up to her wishes, to become the man she had seen in him.

Maria, as depicted in the story, was a saintly figure, her beauty not just in her physical form but in her heart and soul. The way she had taken Jack in, her fiery spirit now a warm embrace, had been nothing short of transformative. She had seen the potential in him, the goodness that others had overlooked, and had nurtured it with a gentle but firm hand. Her love and guidance had been the catalyst for Jack's metamorphosis from a broken, bullied boy into a man of strength and resolve.

As Jack read on, the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile, one that was genuine and filled with warmth. He had never allowed anyone to delve so deeply into his life before, not even his closest friends at the college. Yet here was Paul, a virtual stranger, who had managed to capture the essence of his journey with such finesse. The words on the page were more than just a recount of his past; they were a testament to the power of love and acceptance, and the profound impact they could have on a life.

Finally, Jack looked up, the paper fluttering gently in his hand. He handed it back to Paul. "It was beautiful, man," he said, his voice a soft rumble. "I didn't know you could write it like that."

Paul took the paper, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. "So, what do you feel about the story?" he asked tentatively, searching Jack's unreadable gaze.

Jack's smile grew wider, revealing a set of perfect teeth. "I actually liked it," he confessed, his deep voice sending a warm shiver down Paul's spine.

Paul's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

Jack nodded, his expression uncharacteristically vulnerable. "Yeah, I've never talked about that time in my life with anyone, not even my closest friends. It's… it's pretty personal."

Paul felt a pang of guilt at the admission. He hadn't considered the impact his prying might have had on Jack. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I just wanted to write something that mattered, something that could make a difference."

Jack's expression softened, his eyes no longer as piercing as they had been moments ago. He leaned in closer, his muscular frame looming over Paul. "You did, man," he said, his voice now a gentle rumble. "You really did."

Paul felt a jolt of excitement at the confession. "What do you mean?"

Jack leaned against the garage door, his arms crossing over his broad chest. The early sunlight painted his muscles in a warm glow, the shadows playing across his face giving him an air of mystery. "I mean, I knew you had the power to either make or break me with that story of yours." His voice was a low purr, a stark contrast to the earlier gruffness. "But you didn't. You showed me as I am."

Paul's heart skipped a beat at the confession. He had never expected Jack to open up like this. "Jack, I just wanted to tell a story that mattered. To show people that everyone has a story, and that even the strongest among us can have moments of weakness."

Jack nodded, his eyes searching Paul's. "I know," he said softly, his voice dropping to a gentle rumble that seemed to resonate through the very air between them. "But you see, the thing is…"

Paul waited with bated breath, his heart racing as he watched the muscular giant before him. He had no idea what was coming next, but he knew it was going to be significant.

Jack took a step closer, his towering frame casting a shadow over the journalist. "You know what, Paul?" His voice was a low growl that seemed to vibrate through the very earth beneath them. "I actually do care if that story goes public."

Paul's heart thudded in his chest. "What do you mean?" He stumbled back slightly, the reality of the situation starting to set in.

Jack's smile grew, revealing a hint of something darker, something more primal. "You see, I had a contingency plan, just in case my real story got out."

Paul's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

Jack chuckled, his muscles rippling under his tight tank top. "You think I'd let something like that go out without a fight?" He stepped closer, the warmth of his breath brushing against Paul's cheek. "The real story, the one that involves Maria's… let's call it 'unique' heritage, is something I'd rather keep hidden."

Paul felt his knees go weak as Jack's hand brushed against his arm, the touch sending a jolt of electricity through his body. "What was the plan?" he whispered, unable to tear his gaze away from Jack's piercing eyes.

Jack leaned in closer, his warm breath sending shivers down Paul's spine. "Let's just say I had a little… insurance policy," he murmured, his voice dropping to a seductive purr.

"What do you mean?" Paul stuttered, his eyes darting nervously towards the house and the mysterious garage behind Jack.

Jack's smile grew wolfish, his eyes gleaming with something that could have been mischief or menace. "You remember Aiden, don't you?" He said, his voice a low rumble that seemed to shake the very air. "The guy who could lift cars and never broke a sweat?"

Paul's throat went dry as he nodded. "What does Aiden have to do with this?" He croaked, trying to keep his voice steady.

Jack leaned in closer, his breath warm on Paul's cheek. "Let's just say, if you go through with publishing that story, Aiden will pay you a little visit." His voice was a seductive whisper that sent a thrill through Paul's body, despite the ominous undertones. "He'll make sure that you wear my special clothes that I have given him."

Paul felt a chill run down his spine at the mention of Aiden's name. "What's so special about the clothes?" he asked, his voice barely above a murmur.

Jack's eyes gleamed with amusement. "They're made from a fabric that's been enchanted by Maria's ancestors," he revealed, his thumb tracing the cross on his necklace. "When you put them on, you'll be strong, unstoppable, but with a mind as empty as a hollow shell, forgetting everything that I have told you. If that didn't pan out I also have a plan for Aiden to transform your roommate, Shawn. And he will be the one to make you wear my special clothing while you are sleeping. Oh and by the way, I think Aiden already gave the clothing that will transform Shawn."

Paul's eyes widened in shock. "Wait, so you're saying that Shawn's transformation was because of something you did?"

Jack nodded, his smirk widening. "Yeah, the mask was just the catalyst. I knew what he truly desired, deep down. He's always been a bit of a player, but underneath that, there's a man who craves true, unconditional love from one woman. So, I set the wheels in motion."

Paul's mind raced as he digested the revelation. He had always thought Shawn was happy with his casual flings and one-night stands, but to think that his best friend yearned for something more profound was… shocking. "So, what happens now?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jack leaned back against the garage door, his arms folded across his broad chest. "Now, we come to an understanding," he said, his voice still a gentle rumble. "You keep my true story safe, and I won't have to take any… extreme measures." His gaze drifted to the house behind him, and Paul couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear at the unspoken threat.

Paul nodded vigorously, his mind racing. "Of course, Jack," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "I promise, I won't say a word."

Jack's smile grew into a full-blown grin, the kind that made Paul's knees wobble. "Good," he said, his voice a low purr that seemed to resonate in the pit of Paul's stomach. "I knew I could count on you."

Paul took a step back, his mind racing. "But, why me?" he repeated, his voice sounding small in the face of Jack's overwhelming presence.

Jack stepped closer, his eyes softening slightly. "Why you?" He echoed, his thumb tracing the outline of the cross on his necklace. "Because I see something in you, Paul. Something that no one else does."

Paul's smile wavered, a mix of shock and relief washing over him. "What do you mean?" he whispered, his voice barely above the sound of his own racing heart.

Jack stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently cup Paul's chin. His touch was surprisingly tender, a stark contrast to the power that emanated from his body. "I've read your thoughts, Paul," he said, his voice a deep, hypnotic rumble. "I know what you desire, deep down. You're looking for something real, something that resonates with your soul."

Paul felt his breath catch in his throat as Jack's thumb traced the line of his jaw, his eyes searching the journalist's face for any signs of disagreement. The warmth of his touch was intoxicating, sending waves of confusion through Paul's body. He had never felt this way about a man before, but something about Jack's words, his touch, made him question everything he thought he knew about himself.

"Jack," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of his own racing heart. "What are you saying?"

Jack's eyes searched Paul's, a hint of mischief dancing in their depths. "I'm saying that maybe the reason you're still searching for that one true love, is because you're looking in the wrong place," he murmured, his thumb continuing to trace the line of Paul's jaw.

Paul's heart skipped a beat, his mind racing with the implications of Jack's words. "What…what do you mean?" He managed to stammer out, his breath shallow and quick.

Jack's smile grew more knowing, his thumb still gently caressing Paul's chin. "I mean that maybe, just maybe, your true love is right here," he said, his voice dropping to a seductive murmur that seemed to resonate in every cell of Paul's body. "Someone who understands you, who sees the real you. Someone who can give you the strength and acceptance you crave."

Paul's cheeks flushed a deep red, his eyes dropping to the ground. "I… I don't know," he stuttered, his mind racing with the implications of Jack's words. The thought of being with a man, especially someone as powerful and enigmatic as Jack, was both terrifying and exhilarating.

Jack's hand remained on Paul's chin, his thumb tracing circles that sent shivers down the journalist's spine. "Don't be embarrassed, Paul," he murmured, his voice a soothing rumble. "It's natural to be confused when you're discovering something new about yourself."

Paul's eyes snapped back to meet Jack's, the intensity of the larger man's gaze making him swallow hard. "But what if I'm not… what if it's just because of your… your powers?"

Jack's smile never wavered, his hand moving to gently stroke the side of Paul's cheek. "Powers don't change who you are, Paul," he said, his voice a gentle rumble. "They just bring out what's already there. And what I've seen in your eyes, in your thoughts, it's real. It's raw. It's you."

Paul felt his face heat up even more under Jack's gaze. He had never felt this way about a man before, but the more Jack talked, the more he couldn't deny the feelings stirring within him. "But I've always liked girls," he protested weakly, his eyes unable to leave the muscular giant's.

Jack's smile remained gentle, his thumb still stroking the side of Paul's cheek. "Sexuality isn't always black and white, Paul," he said, his voice a low rumble that seemed to soothe the journalist's racing thoughts. "It's a spectrum, and you're allowed to explore it."

Paul's blush deepened, his eyes searching Jack's for any sign of mockery. But all he saw was understanding, and maybe, just maybe, a hint of something more. "I… I don't know if I can," he admitted, his voice a mere whisper.

Jack leaned closer, his warm breath ghosting across Paul's cheek. "It's okay to be confused, baby," he murmured, his voice a gentle rumble that seemed to echo through Paul's very bones. "I'll help you figure it out."

Paul felt his resolve crumble as Jack's full, firm lips claimed his in a kiss that was as surprising as it was thrilling. His eyes widened in shock, but instead of pushing away, he found himself melting into the embrace. The taste of Jack was unlike anything he had ever experienced: a heady mix of power and vulnerability that made his knees wobble. He felt the world around them fade away, leaving only the heat of Jack's body and the demanding pressure of his lips.

Jack's arms encircled him, pulling him closer until their chests pressed together, the thundering of their hearts echoing through the quiet morning. The fabric of their shirts was the only barrier to the warmth and strength of their bodies. The scent of Jack's cologne filled Paul's senses, making him feel both safe and incredibly aroused. It was as if every nerve ending in his body was suddenly on high alert, responding to the unspoken promise in Jack's touch.

Paul's initial shock gave way to a fierce desire that burned through his confusion. He leaned into the kiss, his arms wrapping around Jack's waist. His hands slipped under the tank top, feeling the warm, firm skin beneath, his fingers tracing the contours of muscles that had been honed through years of relentless training. The feel of Jack's body against his own was electrifying, sending a jolt of pure want through him.

Jack's hands moved to the back of Paul's neck, his grip firm but gentle as he deepened the kiss. His tongue danced with Paul's, exploring the depths of his mouth with a familiarity that seemed almost predatory. Yet, instead of fear, Paul felt a strange sense of belonging, as if he had finally found a piece of himself that had been missing.

Paul's own hands roamed over Jack's broad back, feeling the play of muscles beneath the thin fabric of the tank top. He had never been with a man before, had never even considered the possibility, but here he was, kissing the most intimidating person he knew with a passion that was both terrifying and exhilarating.

Jack's grip tightened around him, and without breaking the kiss, he effortlessly picked Paul up, his muscles flexing with the ease of a man used to lifting much heavier weights. Paul wrapped his legs around Jack's waist, his hands fisting in the fabric of the tank top as Jack carried him into the house, kicking the door shut behind them. The sound echoed through the quiet street, a declaration of their newfound intimacy that sent a thrill through his body.

The living room was dark and cool, the curtains drawn to keep the early sun at bay. The stark contrast to the brightness outside made Jack's skin seem to glow, his muscles casting dramatic shadows on the walls. Paul's heart hammered in his chest as they moved, their bodies undulating together in a silent dance of desire.

Jack's strong arms held him securely, making him feel both vulnerable and protected. The fabric of the tank top was damp with sweat, sticking to the contours of his chest, as Paul's nimble fingers worked to peel it away. The sight of Jack's bare upper body was a revelation; a landscape of power and beauty that seemed to suck the air from the room. His broad chest was a wall of muscle, each ridge and valley defined with perfection.

Paul's eyes followed the line of Jack's abs down to the waistband of his shorts. His own body was responding in ways he had never felt before. The fabric of his pants grew tight as his cock swelled, pushing against the confines of his underwear. He watched as Jack's own erection began to tent the fabric of his shorts, the head of his cock peeking out from the side. The precum glistening in the shadows was a silent testament to the intensity of their connection.

With trembling hands, Paul reached for the hem of Jack's shorts, pulling them down slowly. The jockstrap that lay beneath was a stark contrast to the rest of his attire—simple and functional, yet somehow incredibly sexy. The fabric strained against Jack's massive cock, which bobbed free as the shorts hit the floor. It was a sight that made Paul's mouth water, and he couldn't help but let out a low moan of desire.

Jack's cock was indeed a thing of beauty, long and thick, with a glistening bead of precum at the tip. It was clear that he was just as turned on by this moment as Paul was, and the power of his arousal was almost intoxicating.

Paul watched, his heart racing as Jack removed his jockstrap, revealing his massive cock that seemed to demand attention. Despite his inexperience with men, the journalist found himself unable to resist the urge to kneel before the muscular giant. His eyes remained locked on the prize, a mix of fascination and apprehension swirling in their depths.

Jack noticed the uncertainty in Paul's gaze and reached down, gently stroking the side of his face with a calloused thumb. The gesture was surprisingly tender, a stark contrast to the power that emanated from his body. "It's okay," he murmured, his voice a soothing rumble. "I'll guide you."

Paul felt a wave of relief wash over him as he took a deep breath and leaned in, tentatively flicking his tongue against the head of Jack's cock. The taste was new, different, but not unpleasant. It was salty and musky, a heady aroma that filled his senses and made his own cock throb with anticipation.

Jack's hand found its way to the back of Paul's head, guiding him gently as he began to explore the new sensations. Paul's eyes never left the pulsing member before him, watching with a mix of fascination and awe as the precum continued to flow. His mind raced with thoughts of inadequacy, wondering if he was doing it right, if he could ever satisfy someone like Jack.

But Jack's gentle murmurs of pleasure and the increasing tightness of his grip on Paul's hair told him that he was doing just fine. With each stroke of his tongue and suck of his lips, Jack's breaths grew more ragged, his body tensing as he approached climax. Paul felt a strange thrill in being the one to bring him to the brink, to hold so much power in such an intimate act.

As Jack's cock grew harder and thicker in his mouth, Paul could feel the tension coiling within him. The veins bulged, and his balls tightened against his thighs. It was like a dance, a silent communication of desire and need. And Paul was eager to learn the steps, eager to give Jack what he needed.

For what felt like an eternity, but was only twenty minutes in reality, Paul devoted himself to this act of worship. His tongue swirled and his lips sucked with a passion that surprised even him. He could feel Jack's body tightening, his breaths growing ragged, and his thighs trembling. It was an erotic symphony that played out between them, each movement a note that brought them closer to the crescendo.

Paul's technique grew bolder, his tongue swirling around the head of Jack's cock, teasing the slit before taking him deep into his throat. The journalist had never felt so alive, so connected to someone. He had always been a curious soul, eager to explore the unknown, and this was the ultimate frontier.

Jack's thighs trembled, his hand tightening in Paul's hair as he approached the edge. His hips bucked slightly, his breathing becoming more erratic. The muscles in his abdomen clenched, and his cock pulsed in the warm embrace of Paul's mouth. With a low, guttural groan, Jack released his climax, spurts of thick, white cum hitting the back of Paul's throat.

Paul's eyes widened at the sudden intrusion, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he took Jack's cock deeper, swallowing around the head, eager to taste every drop. The sensation was intense, overwhelming, and yet… oddly satisfying. He felt a strange sense of power, a thrill that came from knowing he was the one to bring this powerful man to his knees—or at least, to his climax.

As he released Jack's cock from his mouth, the warmth spread through him like wildfire, igniting a hunger he had never felt before. He looked up at Jack, his eyes glazed with a mix of shock and desire. "Wait, am I actually getting transformed?" he managed to croak out, his voice thick with lust.

Jack chuckled, his chest heaving with the aftermath of his orgasm. "Yes, it's not just the clothes, baby," he said, his voice a smoky rumble. "My bodily fluids carry the essence of transformation. And as for your desire to be a Greek god, well, I've been watching your thoughts. It's one of the many things that make you so intriguing."

Paul's eyes went wide as he felt his body respond to Jack's words. The intense arousal that had taken hold of him grew even stronger, his cock swelling until it was painfully hard. He could feel it pushing against the fabric of his pants, desperate to break free. His shirt felt suddenly too tight across his chest, the seams straining as his muscles grew beneath them.

With a soft grunt, the fabric of his t-shirt tore apart, revealing the new landscape of his body. His chest had ballooned outwards, each pectoral muscle swollen and defined like a sculpted masterpiece. His shoulders broadened, and his biceps bulged, thick veins snaking down his arms like rivers of power. His forearms grew, the muscles flexing and rippling as he reached up to touch the new contours of his physique.

Paul's abs clenched and tightened, his stomach caving in as the fat disappeared, replaced by a perfect set of 6 pack abs. Each muscle stood out in stark relief against his now taut skin, the definition so sharp it looked as if he could slice through the air with his torso. His pants strained against his growing thighs and bulging cock, the seams threatening to split with every breath he took.

The sudden influx of confidence was like a drug, coursing through his veins, making him feel invincible. His hips began to rock back and forth, the motion involuntary as he felt his newfound strength and power. His legs grew longer, the calves swelling and shaping into powerful pillars that could crush rock with a single flex. The fabric of his jeans tore like paper under the relentless growth, the shreds dropping away to reveal the sculpted beauty beneath.

Paul's feet grew too, the transformation moving down his legs like a wave of pure masculine power. His toes elongated, the muscles in his feet bulging until they were the size of small fists. Each step he took was now a declaration of strength, the floorboards of the house creaking in protest under his newfound weight. His sneakers had become comically small, the laces snapping as his feet burst free.

The journalist's eyes were wide with a mix of shock and pleasure as he felt the last of the transformation take hold. His cock grew even larger, the head now a swollen mushroom cap that seemed to pulse with a life of its own. He looked down at himself, unable to believe the Adonis that stared back at him. His body was a masterpiece of muscle and power.

Without thought, Paul found himself humping the air, his newfound strength and confidence driving him to show off his body. His hips bucked and rolled, each motion sending waves of pleasure through him. He had never felt so alive, so primal. His breaths grew deeper, his chest rising and falling with each thrust.

The pressure within him grew until it was unbearable, his muscles coiled tightly as if ready to snap. And then, with a roar that seemed to shake the very foundations of the house, he came. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced. The orgasm was a tidal wave that crashed over him, leaving him trembling and gasping for breath. His cock erupted, sending spurts of cum that painted the walls and floor in a display of power that seemed to rival even Jack's own.

For twenty long minutes, Paul's body convulsed in waves of pleasure so intense they bordered on pain. His muscles tightened and released in a symphony of ecstasy, each contraction sending another shot of cum flying through the air. The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and disbelief that he was experiencing such an intense transformation. His mind swam with a haze of white-hot desire, unable to focus on anything but the feeling of his body changing before his very eyes.

Jack watched the show with a smug satisfaction, his own cock still semi-hard, enjoying the sight of the journalist's metamorphosis. He knew that this was just the beginning, that the transformation was far from complete. But the raw power and sexual energy that filled the room was intoxicating, and he couldn't resist reaching out to stroke Paul's cheek.

As the last tremor of pleasure coursed through Paul's body, Jack leaned down, his lips claiming his once again. This kiss was different, though—softer, more possessive. It was as if Jack was marking him, claiming him as his own. And as their tongues danced together, Paul felt something else stirring within him: a yearning to submit to this powerful man, to let him guide him through the uncharted waters of his new identity.

Jack's hand found its way to Paul's new, massive cock, stroking it gently. The journalist's hips bucked involuntarily, his body responding to the touch like a well-trained animal. He kissed back with a passion he hadn't known existed within him, his tongue eagerly dueling with Jack's. The taste of the jock's cum still lingered on his lips, a salty reminder of the power that now flowed through his veins.

With a firm grip on Paul's erection, Jack guided the journalist to the sofa, his own cock still standing tall and demanding. Paul felt himself being lowered, the soft cushions giving way to his transformed body. The fabric of the couch stretched and groaned under his new weight, but it was the feeling of Jack's cock pressing against his ass that truly captured his attention.

Jack's hand didn't stop moving, stroking Paul's cock with a masterful touch that kept him on the edge. Then, without warning, Jack's thumb found its way to his hole, teasing the sensitive ring of muscle. Paul's eyes shot open in surprise, his breath hitching as Jack pushed in, preparing him for what was to come.

The pressure grew, and with a gentle but firm push, Jack's cock breached him. The sensation was unlike anything Paul had ever felt before—painful, but also exhilarating. The feeling of being filled by such power made him whimper into the kiss, his body trembling with a mix of pleasure and trepidation.

Jack didn't stop, though; he held onto Paul's hips, his movements slow and deliberate as he pushed in deeper. With each inch, Paul felt himself stretching, his body yielding to the relentless force of the man above him. He could feel the veins of Jack's cock pulsing, the heat of the jock's body against his back, the scent of musk and sweat that filled the air. It was overwhelming, but in that moment, he didn't want it to end.

Paul's own cock was still hard, slapping against his abs with each thrust. He reached down, his hand wrapping around the thick shaft, stroking it in time with Jack's rhythm. The sensation was new, and yet, it felt like something he had been born to do. His eyes rolled back in his head as Jack's cock hit that sweet spot inside him, the one that sent waves of pleasure through his body with every stroke.

Jack's grunts grew louder, his hips pistoning faster as he claimed Paul's body. The sound was primal, a declaration of dominance that made Paul's heart race. He felt his own orgasm building, his prostate swelling with each pound of Jack's hips. His moans grew more urgent, filling the room with the sound of their passionate union.

Paul's hand grew slick with pre-cum as he stroked himself, his eyes locked on Jack's sculpted chest. The muscles rippled with every thrust, the gothic cross glinting in the dim light. He couldn't believe this was happening, that he was here, with Jack, experiencing something so raw and intense. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions, but the most prominent was the desire to please Jack, to give him everything he had.

Jack's pace grew faster, his grunts more animalistic. The headboard of the sofa slammed against the wall in a steady rhythm, each impact punctuating their passionate encounter. Paul could feel the tension coiling in Jack's body, knew he was close. And as the jock's cock swelled even more, filling him completely, he knew the moment had arrived.

With a final roar, Jack came, his cum spurting into Paul with a force that made the journalist's eyes roll back in his head. The warmth spread through him like a wildfire, igniting every nerve ending, setting his body alight with a pleasure that was almost unbearable. The force of Jack's climax sent shockwaves through him, and he could feel himself growing even more, his muscles swelling and tightening more.

Paul's chest grew even more massive, the muscles bulging outwards until it seemed as if they would tear through his skin. His biceps grew thicker, each vein standing out in stark relief, pulsing with power. His abs tightened into a washboard that could cut glass, each muscle flexing and releasing in time with his heavy breaths.

His moans grew louder, filling the room with a symphony of pleasure. The sensation was overwhelming, his entire body alight with sensation. The feeling grew in his legs, his calves swelling until they were as thick as Jack's, his feet growing until they looked like they could crush boulders with ease.

Paul's cock grew longer and thicker, the head a swollen monster that seemed to demand attention. Each pulse of his heart sent a fresh wave of blood through the engorged veins, making it throb with an urgency that was impossible to ignore. He felt the pressure building, his balls tightening until they were ready to burst.

With a roar that seemed to shake the very foundations of the house, Paul came. Cum shot out of him like a geyser, hitting the wall with enough force to leave a small splatter before running down like a white waterfall. The feeling was indescribable, his body convulsing in pleasure as he filled the room with his seed. The muscles of his chest and abs tightened with each spurt, his whole body a testament to the power that now surged through him.

As the last wave of his climax subsided, he pulled away from Jack, his cheeks flushed and eyes glazed with a mix of shock and awe. A cocky smile began to form on his face, the corners of his mouth curling upward as he took in the sight of the muscular god he had become. With a newfound confidence, he stood up, his legs wobbly at first from the intensity of the transformation. Each step was a declaration of power, the floorboards groaning beneath his massive new frame.

Paul's gaze never left Jack's eyes as he strode towards the bathroom, his newfound cock swaying with each step. The room was filled with the scent of their passion, a heady mix of sweat and cum that seemed to cling to the air like a second skin. His movements were fluid, almost predatory, as if his body had been made for this very purpose—to claim and conquer.

Once inside, he stepped in front of the full-length mirror, his breath catching in his throat. The man who stared back at him was nothing like the person he had been just hours before. His reflection was a masterpiece of masculine perfection, a Greek god come to life. He reached out, his hand brushing against the cool glass as he took in every inch of his transformed body.

The muscles of his chest rippled and danced with each breath he took, the cuts so deep it was as if they had been chiseled by an artist's hand. His abs looked like they could grate cheese, each one standing out in stark relief, begging to be touched. His biceps bulged, thick veins snaking down to his forearms like rivers of power.

Paul turned to the side, admiring his new V-shaped, his waist narrow and defined. The way the light hit his body, casting shadows across his bulging muscles, was like watching a sculpture come to life. He reached out to touch his reflection, the image seemingly unreal. The glass was cool under his fingers, grounding him in reality.

Jack's footsteps grew closer, and soon he was standing right behind him, his warm breath tickling the back of Paul's neck. "You're a natural," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "The transformation suits you."

Paul couldn't find the words to respond. He was lost in the reflection, in the beauty of the Adonis that stared back at him. He flexed his arms, watching the muscles bulge and ripple, the shadows playing across his skin like a lover's caress. His cock was still semi-hard, a testament to the enduring power of his new body.

Jack stepped into the bathroom, his own body still flushed with the exertion of their passionate encounter. He leaned against the doorframe, watching Paul with a knowing smile. "So, you like it?" he asked, his voice a low purr that sent shivers down Paul's spine.

Paul couldn't help but nod, his eyes still glued to his reflection. "Yes, Jack," he breathed, his voice filled with wonder. "I really, really love it."

Jack stepped closer, his own chest still heaving slightly from their recent exertions. He wrapped his arms around Paul's waist, pulling him back into an embrace that was both comforting and possessive. "You're perfect," he murmured into Paul's ear, his breath hot and damp on the journalist's neck.

Paul leaned back into Jack's arms, his heart racing as he felt the warmth of the jock's body pressed against his own. His hand reached up to trace the contours of Jack's muscular chest, feeling the power that lay beneath the skin. "I never thought I could be like this," he admitted, his voice still filled with awe.

Jack's chuckle rumbled through his chest, sending vibrations through Paul's body. "You were always meant to be," he said, his voice low and assured. "Your desire, your passion, it was all there. I just had to bring it out."

Paul felt a warmth spread through him, a sense of belonging that was as new as the muscles that now adorned his body. He turned to face Jack, the two of them standing inches apart, their eyes locked in a silent conversation of love and lust. "What happens now?" he whispered, his voice filled with a mix of excitement and trepidation.

Jack's smile grew, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Now," he said, "we explore the depths of your transformation. You've only scratched the surface, my love. There's so much more to experience." He stepped closer, his body pressing against Paul's, his massive cock nestling between the journalist's muscular thighs. "And I'm going to be there to guide you every step of the way."

Paul felt his heart race at the words, his body responding to Jack's closeness with a renewed sense of arousal. He looked into the jock's eyes, searching for any hint of doubt or deception. All he found was sincerity and a burning desire that matched his own. "I think I love you, Jack," he whispered, the words slipping out before he could stop them.

Jack's smile grew, his eyes softening as he leaned in, his massive arms tightening around Paul's waist. "I think I love you too," he murmured, the words sending a shiver down the journalist's spine. It was a declaration that seemed to resonate through every fiber of Paul's being, filling him with a warmth that had nothing to do with his transformed physique.

Their lips met again, the kiss a fiery dance of passion and need. Jack's tongue slid into Paul's mouth, the taste of their combined climax still lingering on his breath. Paul's cock grew hard once more, pressing against Jack's abs as they explored each other with a newfound fervor.

===

Morning came, the journalism professor was sitting at his desk when a big, hulking figure with the unmistakable confidence of a professional bodybuilder began to stride into the classroom. The room grew quiet, all eyes drawn to the Adonis that was Paul. The stark contrast between the student they had known and this godly creature was almost comical.

"Hi, Professor," Paul began, his voice a low, seductive rumble that seemed to resonate in every corner of the room. He placed a paper on the professor's desk with a thump that echoed the beating of his own enlarged heart. "This is the story I've worked on for the investigative journal project."

The professor took the paper, his eyes lingering on the powerful hand that had placed it there. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the sudden stirring in his pants. "Paul, you've certainly… changed," he managed to say, his voice betraying his shock.

Paul smirked, flexing his biceps slightly, the muscles bulging and casting shadows on his desk. "Thanks, Professor," he said, a hint of pride in his voice. "I found a new inspiration for both my story and my body."

The professor's eyes darted from the paper to Paul's massive arms, his gaze lingering on the veins that bulged like rivers across the landscape of muscles. "Your…inspiration seems to have had quite the effect," he stuttered, trying to keep his eyes on the paper. "I will read it now."

Paul's smirk grew, his eyes glinting with mischief. "I think you'll find it quite…enlightening," he said, his tone thick with innuendo. The professor's cheeks flushed, and he cleared his throat again, focusing on the paper as if his very life depended on it.

As the minutes ticked by, the class waited with bated breath. The professor's eyes scanned the pages, his expression a mix of surprise and intrigue. When he finally looked up, the room was absolutely silent. "Wow, Paul," he said, his voice filled with genuine amazement. "This is…this is incredible. You've truly outdone yourself."

Paul's heart swelled with pride. The transformation wasn't just physical; his writing had taken on a new dimension, a depth that even the stern professor couldn't ignore. "Thank you, Professor," he said, his voice still a gruff rumble that seemed to resonate with the power of his new physique. "I'm just telling the story that needed to be told."

The professor nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "And you've told it exceptionally well. Your writing has a… a certain power to it now." He paused, looking up at the towering figure before him. "I can't help but feel that this isn't just about the story, though. There's something deeper here, something personal."

Paul took a step back, his eyes flickering to the paper. "Well, I wouldn't say it's personal," he began, but his voice trailed off as he thought of Jack, of the night they had shared. The truth was, the story had become personal the moment Jack had claimed him, had transformed him. It was a tale of love and power, of finding one's true self in the most unexpected of places.

The professor nodded, his gaze thoughtful. "I understand," he said, though it was clear he didn't quite believe him. "But regardless of the inspiration, you've done excellent work. I'm giving you an A for this, and you're exempt from the finals. You've more than proven your skills as a journalist."

Paul beamed, his teeth flashing in the fluorescent lights. "Thank you, Professor," he said, his voice still carrying the same deep timbre that had filled the room earlier. He turned to leave, his newfound confidence making him feel invincible.

As he strode down the hall, his massive muscles rippling with each step, he couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement. The world was his to conquer, and he had the power to do so. His heart raced as he thought about Jack and the promise of more to come.

Paul pushed open the door to his dorm room, his muscular frame barely fitting through the narrow space. Shawn was there, his own body now a work of art. The sight of his roommate, once a lanky man, now a towering alpha male, brought a smile to Paul's face.