#i don't mean to throw shade but

[helladventurers]

Mom burned out another cooking pot.........

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

it is so so funny to go back and rewatch the zahra and kash episodes of the original stream with their tlovm characterizations fresh in my mind. in tlovm zahra is like "ugh vox machina 🙄🙄 the twins stole my prize 🙄🙄 vex isn't as hot and charming as she thinks 🙄🙄" and in the stream anytime after her literal first episode she's like "hi vox machina 🥰🥰 hi vex 🥰🥰" and they're all like "HI ZAHRA 🥺🥺🥺🥺" and then she's instantly grabbing her staff to help them kill four dragons.

[jinxed-ninjago]

Shade is voiced by Andrew Francis and honestly it's pretty clear after looking it up because how Andrew Francis voices Shade and how Andrew Francis voices Cole sound incredibly similar. Shade's voice is just more raspy and the tiniest bit deeper I guess? Regardless they sound very similar

[ladyluscinia]

I don't disagree that fandom ran further with the concept of fuckeries, but I would say that 1x04 is an important spiritual successor to the concept that felt like it was going to be significant. The first demonstration we got of how good Ed and Stede could be together was the lighthouse escape, which I would definitely count as a fuckery. It's a clever, creative victory that doesn't require violence, and it seemed to sate Ed's s1 stated appetite for drama/excitement/fun without triggering him.

Continuing from here... I mean I personally agree with you, but that's also mainly what I was talking about with fandom giving the idea more importance and interest than canon did.

I think a lot of people - myself included - drew that connection from 1x04's proto-fuckery to getting a name for it (and its potential role as a raid alternative) in 1x06 to Stede becoming a true student in 1x10. More detailed examples went for looping in 1x02 and/or 1x05 to show Stede leaning toward trickery over force.

The point isn't that the fandom (basically all of us, not a few outliers) was wrong to run with this - I think it was brilliant, actually, and a big part of why I even cared about writing meta about the pirate society of a romcom - but that the canon of S2 didn't pick the idea back up at all in a way that indicates it was never going anywhere. The pattern we spotted in S1 was apparently not the interesting comedic alternate to action/adventure swashbuckling, but something (significantly more boring tbh) that served to buoy our underdog Stede along without dying until he was far enough in his pirate journey to swing a sword successfully.

Is the lighthouse escape the first demonstration in a larger pattern of how Ed and Stede will work together in the future? Where their mutual tendencies toward creative solutions and dissatisfaction with abusive and violent pirate culture can find a new, more fun way of life?

Or is it a, yes, clever and creative escape they come up with together, but one that only has those specific traits because they are in an impossible situation where they can't fight their way out - narratively because the ship is stranded and crewed by useless pirates, and meta-narratively because they need Stede to contribute as an equal instead of just getting rescued (that was for last episode) and he can't do that in a fight yet?

We thought that the lighthouse plan was supposed to connect to 1x06 and 1x10, but I think it might have only been meant to serve as a fix to Ed's fog and full moon plan (i.e. making an impossible escape).

They just looked similar because all the various wins and conflicts of S1 were shaped around Stede's character journey, but the part of that journey where he can't jump into the fray and kill the mooks too as a real pirate ended with 1x10. Which is why they don't come up with a brilliant way to slip out of the Republic without a fight in 2x08. Stede doesn't need the genre crutch anymore. He is a swashbuckling hero now, and he and Ed can kill people side by side.

You know, once the trauma-based reasons they might not do so are healed by "something something... love maybe?"

[pain-in-the-butler]

idk about anyone else but the horse anatomy glow-up has me shook

[a-sky-of-diamonds]

Does it seem familiar?

Waking up in a world with 13 other players, thinking nothing of them, at first. Running around alone, untied, unfettered, until a single choice binds you to a single person. but you now run around knowing how it ends, knowing of the inevitable red that will spread and then spill, knowing that now and more because of the ticking clock within your chest. but you now wake knowing that one of the players, the very one you would think of, is missing; and now you bind yourself because of an offer, rather than a debt. 

Taking up the role of protector. Bodyguard. Hand. Different words acting as shells around an essence of the same meaning; a meaning you never thought you’d apply to yourself, now worn with pride twice. but now you’re the one with less time on the the clock. but now the person you protect is in danger because of how much life he has, not how little.

Does it seem familiar? 

In just a few hours, chaos unfolding. Lives being lost; friends being hunted; and, when everything reaches its lowest point, the person you pledged your life to protect asking you to do the impossible. but this time it’s a resort, not a request. but this time it’s to give to you, not than to take from others. but this time it’s to bring peace rather than wage war.

...Does it seem familiar?

(And it’s the sea, not the land. A resort rather than a fortress, a duo rather than an army, a show from the 90s rather than a medieval war. But these are just different guises acting as shells around an essence of the same meaning; of the same actions, repeating over and over again.

And yet-

To offer, not to pay. To protect purely from compassion, not with necessity. To give, not take. For peace. 

...These events, you think, are like a shard of glass tossed into the sea. The essence is there and will always be, but the sharp edges are dulled by time and saltwater. They become softer. Smoother. Their core remains, and yet the harshness is lost to days the gone by.)

(Except there’s something else. Time may dull rough edges, but time is not the only force acting here. Just as sharp shards can be smoothed, smooth stones can be sharpened. 

After every winter, there comes a spring.

The thrill to kill the fleeting gill.

Always remember: the world is not kind. And if it is, it’s not very interesting to Watch.)

--

Or, in other words:

A single day/And then it’s gone

Doomed to repeat/Our will be done.

[bookishtheaterlover7]

👸 here- After a discussion with a good friend I wanted to point out a few tings

Please remember that people can go online and claim a lot of things. I can say I live in Idaho or I can say I live in Massachusetts and / or I can say I live in Rhode Island and you wouldn't know the difference. Because people have all kinda of different ways of finding sh*t out. This isn't directed at particular people but just a general warning I'm aure someone aomewhwee will go gaso i just said this and it has to be about me or my blog- nope, just a general its the internet and tumblr grains of salt people. Don't be stupid. Stay smart. Obviously, some people feel comfortable proving things while others understanbly don't. But just remember a lot of people can say a lot of things online and on Tumblr.

Websites aren't always correct and neither are people. Sometimes, things on websites are misleading. Furthermore, celebs are people too and not every day is trick or treating for halloween if you get my drift. It also can be easy to debunk things in 4 minutes with a correct website but it's not always something that needs to be shared or posted on here. (Once again not to anyone directly) Long story short who gives a rats ass what house a celeb sells especially before its sold and what's in a damn picture in a link that was posted at least 4 hrs prior to me writing this is now not working. (Ive aeen the link in question on a few pages actually) Maybe it was a glitch and is working now or the listing was changed idk. But regardless if you dont like strangers knowing where you live/lived why would celebs? Why do we need to know? Fans don't. Its not like there are fans clubs and thats the fan club address too. So chill the f down and stop making a mountin out of a mole hill. If we dont want whatever is left of the fandom to be called crazy then dont act crazy

Imma just leave this message here, because 👸 has seriously dropped the mic hard on this one👏

Honestly, one of the best gifts anyone has given me... And hopefully y'all will get a good gift from me to y'all 😉

[boop-le-snoot]

haircut day haircut day haircut day haircut day

[a-bombyx-mori]

started my job at the library today and I already like the people here better than the one at hs

[chiumii]

rough ~ sunghoon x reader

ଓ ⋆˙⊹ [ 성훈 ] ☆ thinking about how sunghoon comes across as the sweet, loving, perfect boyfriend out in public, but an absolute freak in bed. I mean absolutely fucking nasty.

Word count: 1k

sunghoon x reader smut

dom hoon and sub reader. daddy kink, size kink, breeding, slight hints at cnc, slapping, choking, manhandling, slapping dacryphilia degrading, praise. hoonie is so mean n ruthless ugh this was just a super quick thought I has so I decided to write something about it, dont expect it to be good, not proof read.

sunghoon being the most perfect, loving boyfriend is such a yes. he takes you out to fancy restraunts, buys you new jewelry whenever you want, getting you sweet treats as frequently as possible. he spoils you completely rotten. of course he would, you're his little girl! he would hold your hand as he leads you through the mall while shopping, his arms holding your bags as you sip on the cute little drinks you like so much. he would lean into your ear and whisper about how cute you looked today, pressing a long, chaste kiss on your cheek, smirking to himself as your face heated up in the prettiest shade of pink.

you would think he was the sweetest person alive an hour ago, but that opinion was ripped out of your head the second he got you alone.

"h-hoonie, slow a-ahngh please!" it took him less than a second after walking in through the front door, throwing your shopping bags to the side before pressing your front up against the nearest wall and hiking your little short skirt up over your ass.

his thrusts are ruthless as he pounds into you from behind, his hips snapping against your plush ass. his hands are holding you up against the wall and your legs dangle in the air. his pants aren't even pulled all the way down as they hug just below his thighs, your pink panties pulled to the side are now completely soaked as he fucks you through your orgasm.

you squirt all over the his dick and the wall in front of you. your juices dripping down your thighs and onto the floor as you thrash in your boyfriends hold, begging him to let you go.

"stay still you fucking brat" you don't listen to him, your legs still kicking out while his long dick kisses your cervix with every thrust.

"da-ddaddyy hurts, s-low please mmmh" he pulls you off the wall with a grunt, lifting you up in the air as he drags you to the couch, throwing you down onto the cushions. you land on your stomach with a soft 'hmph', and before you can turn around, you feel sunghoons hands force you onto your knees; your back arched with your ass in the air.

you go to look back at your boyfriend, but are quickly met with his hand tangling in your hair, forcing you face into the couch roughly. he gives you no time to think before his dick bullies its way back into your puffy cunt, instantly hitting your sweet spot as his balls slap against your swollen clit.

"shut the fuck up and stay down" his words are so mean :( but you feel your aching pussy throb when he speaks to you in such a way

his hips keep up a steady, quick pace as he fucks you. your screams being absorbed into the couch, your muffled cries only fuel him further, landing a harsh smack onto your ass, a bright red handprint being left on your perfect skin.

your walls squeeze him as he slaps you again, and again, and again. your legs begin to thrash around again, your hands coming up to grip the sides of the couch as you scream

"wan' cum, daddy please may I cum please please !-" he hears you, even though you're face is so deep into the cushions of the couch, soaking the material with your drool. it pisses him off. he grabs your pony tails on either side of your head and forces your head up, biting your ear lob harshly before speaking.

"did you not hear me? I said keep your damn mouth shut" he takes his cock out and flips you over on your back. you whine at the emptiness as he lifts your legs into the air, contorting your body so you fold in on yourself, your knees being pressed next to your head as he forces you into a mating press.

you shriek in pain, his dick finding its way inside you once more, bruising your gummy walls. you quiver at your boyfriends roughness, his delicate touch from earlier long gone as you're left with this monster.

your moans light a fire in the pit of sunghoons stomach. tears roll down your rosey cheeks, and sunghoon can't help but coo at you.

"dont cry sweetie, it'll be over soon, let daddy use your pathetic body just a lil more" you choke at his words, clenching around him when he speaks to you. knots form in your tummy, quickly beginning to unravel as fast as they came.

"daddy! cum please! wan' cum n-ngh fff' pl-please!" you're making such a mess, sunghoons assault on your cunt is so sloppy, and the sight of your ponytails becoming tangled and messy makes him throw your legs down.

His hand moves to your throat as he watches the outline of his dick disappear and then reappear with each thrust.

"oh my god, such a pretty little girl, so perfect and tiny. you like it when daddy abuses your tiny hole hmm?" he asks you and you nod, bringing your lower lip inbetween your teeth as you bite down hard enough to draw blood.

sunghoon retraces his hand from your throat and slaps you. your eyes fling open in shock as your lips quiver.

"you answer daddy when he asks you a question, understand slut?"

"yes daddy, I understand! love it when daddy uses my body, feels s' good !" you squeal, arching your back into the man above you, wrapping your arms around his neck, scratching his shoulders through his shirt.

"you wanna take my cum, sweet girl? stuff you so fucking full 'nd breed your tiny little pussy. oh fuck- good fucking god" sunghoons cock twitches, your cunt clamping down on him with insane grip.

"who owns this pussy, doll?" he slaps your clit, your juices leaping into the air, staining sunghoons shirt.

"daddy does !" you yelp, your orgasm approaching fast.

"such a good girl, cum for me baby, let yourself go all over me sweet thing" and so you do, creaming all around sunghoons length as you flutter around him like the pretties butterfly, souring right into sunghoons cage and being locked away from all eyes.

his pretty little baby ૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა

[coldfanbou]

Kinkcember Day 4: Breeding

Day 4 is breeding out bunny hybrid Nayeon. (She has bunny ears and that's about it...don't ask it was in the request)

Length 2K

Nayeon X Mreader

Nayeon rushed out of work, her ears hidden under a beanie, giving her the appearance of any other woman. You spot her all the same, though. “Nayeon! Over here!” You yell from across the road. The young woman stops in her tracks after hearing your voice and looks around. She turns her head quickly, trying to figure out where your voice came from. You yell at her again, and this time, she sees you. You see a smile creep across her face, and she bounces in place before running over to you. 

“What are you doing here?!” She yells, nearly throwing herself through the open window. 

“It’s cold. I came to pick you up.” You lean in and continue in a hushed tone, “And I wanted to know if everything went alright. You know it’s about time you go into heat.”

Nayeon’s cheeks grow a deeper shade of red, and she playfully pushes you. “I’m fine right now. I told you if anything happened, I would tell you.” 

“Alright, but get in. It’s cold out here, and I don’t want to have the window open any more.” Nayeon hops over to the passenger side and gets in, taking off her beanie to reveal her bunny ears. 

“Did they get cold?” You ask, gently pinching them. Nayeon shudders as you touch her rabbit ears. She covers them quickly, pushing your hand away. 

“They’re fine!” She says, scooting away from you. 

“Alright, alright,” you laugh. You start the car and drive home, taking the scenic route so Nayeon can see the snow falling. You glance at her every so often. “It’s pretty isn’t it.”

Nayeon nods quickly, her smile growing as she presses her face against the window. “So pretty,” You slow down, letting her take in the sight, knowing that you’d get home soon. “Why does it have to be so cold? It’d be a lot better if it were like this but warm.”

“It’s not so bad, we can snuggle at night,”

Nayeon turns around and pouts, “You know what I mean,”

“I know, I know.” You turn onto your street, “We’re nearly here. You might want to put the beanie back on.” Nayeon puts it on slowly, adjusting it around her sensitive ears. As you park the car, Nayeon opens the door and shoots toward the door, turning the knob but getting stuck because it is locked. You watch her pull on it frantically. It’s mildly entertaining, but you know you have to help her. “It’s locked! Use your key!” You yell, stating the obvious. Nayeon pauses and looks at the ground out of embarrassment before picking through her pockets for the house key. She puts it in slowly and unlocks the door before turning the knob and getting the door to open finally. She looks back at you, mildly embarrassed, before stepping inside and shutting the door. You sigh and shake your head; Nayeon could be a real goofball. You turn off the car and head inside your home, finding Nayeon already in her pajamas, sitting in front of a small space heater, her hands and feet right in front of it. “You’re going to burn yourself, you know.”

“I’m cold,” she replies, keeping her eyes on the red coils of the heater. You pass by Nayeon, patting her head as you change clothes. When you step back into the living room, you find Nayeon in the same position. “I think I can handle my heat this time,” she says quietly.

“Don’t even try it.” You tell her sternly. “The last time you tried it, you nearly cheated on me. I’m being serious here. I know it’s in your nature, but that’s no excuse.” Nayeon presses her lips together into a pout and looks up at you. “Don’t try to give me those puppy eyes either. It’s not going to work on me.”

“You have to be serious about this, Nayeon; you can get pregnant pretty easily in that state. It’s a miracle you haven’t after all the times we’ve fucked.”

“I know, but I’m pretty sure I can beat my urges this time.” You sigh and turn around, your hands on your hips. “I can!” Nayeon yells, feeling like a child trying to prove themselves right. 

“You’re due any day now. So we’ll see what happens.” You tell her before cooking dinner—one of Nayeon’s favorites, chicken rice. While you cooked, Nayeon could feel her body getting warmer; the temptation to touch herself began to worm its way into her mind. She shook her head and tried to push the thoughts to the back of her mind. She took deep breaths and focused on the heater's red-hot coils to clear her mind. She was too focused to notice you come by. Her body felt a jolt of electricity go through it as you touched her hand. Her head shot up; she gulped and got up with your assistance while her body began to crave more. She played with her food more than she ate; Nayeon could feel herself getting wetter the longer she sat across from you. Your scent filled her nose; her mind became filled with memories of the times you had sex. 

Nayeon ate a couple more bites of the food, finishing about half before she stood up. “I think I’m going to go to bed; I’m feeling a little tired.” She hurried without another word to the bedroom. The young woman looked through drawers until she found the melatonin. She took a few tablets and tried to get herself to go to sleep. By the time you got to bed, she was sound asleep, drooling on her pillow. You nudge her to her side of the bed and sleep beside her.

Nayeon tossed and turned in her sleep, eventually waking up from her slumber in a sweat. She bit her lip and rubbed her thighs together, her loins burned. Slipping her hand underneath her pajama shorts, she was wet, her panties already soaked. The slightest touch sent shocks through her system. She rolled onto her side and saw you. Her breathing quickened as she smelled your scent. Nayeon throws the covers off both your bodies and sees your bulge. She licked her lips and felt her instincts kick in. It was like she was hypnotized. Nayeon quietly crawled between your legs and pulled down your boxers, watching your cock spring free from them before she even got them off. The musk from it was enough to make her dizzy. 

Nayeon pressed her face against your cock, taking in deep breaths before dragging her tongue along it. She whined, needing it. Nayeon knew she should wake you up. You had always told her to wake you up when she was in heat, but her voice wouldn’t come out. She couldn’t even think of words to say; all she wanted, all she knew was your cock. Nayeon wrapped her lips around your cock and pushed it into the back of her throat. Her eyes rolled back as she got her first taste of you. It was like a drug to her; once she had a taste, she wanted more. Her tongue swirled around the tip of your cock as she prepared you for a long day. She bobbed her head slowly, moving up and down your shaft with her thick lips around your cock. Nayeon’s moans were muffled, but you started to wake up, your body stirring. Nayeon tried to hold you down to continue her blowjob. Her body was weak, though; Nayeon had gotten her first taste of your precum and knew you were ready. She pulled back slowly and stroked your cock. She straddled you and rubbed your cock between her folds; it was like jolts of electricity going through her body every time your cock rubbed up against her entrance. Her ears would go from drooping to standing on end each time. Nayeon couldn’t wait any longer and pressed you against her entrance, dropping herself onto your cock, every inch making its way inside her. She came instantly

She placed her hands on your chest for support as her walls tightened around you. Nayeon’s body shook from the intensity. She barely had the strength to rock her hips; the feeling of your cock moving inside her pushed her to another orgasm despite the movement barely being anything. 

You open your eyes slowly, a figure on top of you moaning softly. “Nayeon?” You groan, rubbing your eyes. Nayeon paused, her body tensing as you figured out what was happening. You look over at the alarm clock on your bedside; it’s just past midnight. “Did it start already?” You ask only to get no response. Nayeon just grinds against you slowly, desperate for more. You sigh and roll Nayeon onto her back, pinning her to the bed, as you grab both her arms. “You know what time it is, and I told you to tell me when this happened.” You tell her. 

Nayeon whimpers and rocks her hips, “I-I need it.” She whimpers. You sigh and pull out of Nayeon, dragging your cock out slowly before driving yourself deep into her cunt, knocking against her cervix. Nayeon’s body tenses as she cums again. You moan as you feel her cunt tighten around your cock. You know Nayeon will be active for a while, and you need to get her out of her heat. You begin thrusting slowly; Nayeon coos as she feels your cock slide in and out of her. 

While she loves the feeling, she knows what she really needs. She wraps her legs around you, keeping you from pulling out of her. You nip at Nayeon’s neck, listening to her whimpers as you quicken your thrusts and make her beg for more. “I need it. I want a baby,” Nayeon whimpers, her whines becoming more common as your cock throbs inside the young woman. You thrust quickly, driving your cock deeper into her cunt. Nayeon rocks her hips, trying to get you to cum quickly, desperate for you to breed her. On the edge of your climax, you bury yourself inside Nayeon and drop your first load inside her, painting her walls white as your semen makes its way to her womb. 

Nayeon’s body relaxes for a moment as she feels your cum pour into her, but you know she’ll be back to her needy attitude soon. You take advantage of the situation and pull Nayeon's legs up, folding her in half before ramming your cock back into Nayeon. She gasps, your hard cock going deeper than before. You slam yourself into Nayeon’s cunt, making your cum spill out of her cunt and coating her body in it. The smell makes her dizzy, and she rests her head back, gripping the sheets of your bed as you pound away at her thing body.

Nayeon’s eyes roll into the back of her head; her tongue wags in the air as you drive her crazy. Her entire body tingles, and the only thing she can think about is your cock as it slides in and out of her body. “More,” Nayeon whines, “I want more,” You continue thrusting into Nayeon, burying her body into the bed as you near another climax. You groan, feeling Nayeon’s walls tightening around your cock. You bury yourself inside Nayeon again and fill her womb with your cum, her walls milking you the entire time. Nayeon lips curl into a smile as she feels more of your cum being pumped into her. 

The night was long from over, though. You spend the next few hours fucking Nayeon over and over again, cumming inside her each time, staining the bed and her body with the stuff. By the end, you’re both exhausted; Nayeon lies on her back cum pooling around her as her legs twitch. 

There was little doubt in your mind that Nayeon would get pregnant this time, and you were right. A few months later, the young woman’s belly had grown to the size of a watermelon, her breasts had doubled in size, and she could barely walk, resorting to shuffling around the house.

[dramaticals]

following instructions

pairing: theodore nott x gryffindor reader

summary: enemies with benefits with theo where they're constantly insulting each other but they still can't get enough. smut. au where characters at hogwarts are aged up to be 19+. mdni. / requested by anonymous.

author's note: co-wrote this with lily (@softeliza) <3 we honestly wrote this as a theo x hermione, but swapped hermione for reader

✧ read part two: following instructions (headcanons) ✧

Theo's judging eyes watch as you dice the sopophorous bean before tossing it into your cauldron, your gaze shifting between your opened textbook and your cauldron. A bead of sweat drips from your forehead. You were meticulously following the directions, and yet something still didn't seem right about your potion.

Theo scoffs, shaking his head. What an idiot, he thinks.

"You're supposed to crush it." Theo says, demonstrating pointedly with a silver dagger and popping the squashed bean into his own cauldron. The cauldron bubbles, and the liquid shifts a shade darker.

"You're supposed to follow the instructions, which clearly say to cut it," you say through gritted teeth.

Potions was the one class Theo never followed the directions for, and yet he always seemed to be doing significantly better than you. You hated that.

"You know," you add with a huff, annoyance laced in your words. "Just because you don't respect the rules any other time doesn't mean you shouldn't follow a simple recipe."

There was something about pissing you off that gave Theo the right amount of joy to get him through the day. Hearing you huff at his words was like finding a jelly slug in a mountain of acid pops. It was glorious.

"Do you believe everything you read?" Theo asks mockingly, his eyes unmoving from the cauldron in front of him. He doesn't know why he was helping you—this was meant to be a competition for the coveted felix felicis. Maybe it was because Theo knew you weren't going to listen to him anyway. "Besides, I respect the rules." Theo says, but even he can't keep a straight face at his claim, his lips tugging into a smirk.

"I believe everything I read in a textbook," you say, your eyes narrowing and your mouth falling open in shock. Was he serious? "You know, that book of words that literally outlines how to make the potion? How else would you know how to brew it?" You hope he doesn't notice the genuine curiosity in your question. You actually wanted to know how Theo knew what to do all the time. It was so infuriating.

"Natural intelligence and charm." Theo says coolly.

In actuality, Theo had managed to find a textbook filled with inscriptions, correcting the printed text with tips and tricks on how to brew a potion every time. But he wasn't going to tell you that. Theo would gladly and happily let you believe he was gifted.

Theo peeks at your cauldron and has to hold a snort back. It looked just about ready to implode.

"This is a simple recipe, huh?" Theo muses. "Is that why your potion looks and smells like absolute shit?"

"Maybe I just thought I'd throw you a scrap with this one. I mean, we both know you're in desperate need of some luck, especially on the Quidditch pitch. If anyone needs this win, it's you."

"Oh, so you watch me on the pitch, do you?" Theo says with a smug grin.

You roll your eyes. Curse him.

Theo stirs counterclockwise a few times and then once again clockwise. The potion bubbles again. This time, it shifts into its final colour form. Bingo.

Theo, with an expression beaming with pride, calls over Professor Slughorn to inspect the potion. You zero in on Theo's cauldron and let out a small sigh. You didn't need confirmation from Slughorn to know that Theo did it. That bloody asshole did it.

Slughorn tosses a single leaf into the cauldron. The leaf disintegrates, and Slughorn clasps his hands together and announces, "We have a winner! Class dismissed!"

As Theo receives congratulations from all around, you begin to tidy your workspace, empty your cauldron, and pack your things. Anger boils in your stomach. As much as you tried to avert your gaze from Theo, your eyes are drawn to the tiny vile Slughorn passes to Theo. With a triumphant smirk thrown your way, he tucks the potion into his pocket before cleaning his workspace.

"Try to use it for something other than trying to sleep with girls," you quip, clutching your books to your chest. The confident, holier-than-thou persona slips over you like a glove. It was a default shield whenever you felt threatened, especially academically. And Theo was often on the receiving end of it all. "I mean, I'm sure you could use some luck in that department, but I doubt that's what Zygmunt Budge had in mind."

"I'm doing quite well in that department, actually." Theo says. With looks and an attitude like his, girls were flocking to him like nifflers to gold. "Much like potions, really. They all just come to me."

Theo awaits your signature glare and snarky remark, but he was simply met with a silent shove to his shoulder as you headed to the door. His brows furrow, disappointed in the lack of repartee, before Theo's walking after you. He falls into step with you, following you through the dimly lit corridors of the dungeon.

"What's the rush, little lion? Can't stomach losing?"

"I'm not in a rush; I just don't want to be around you. Don't you have some dingy hole to crawl back into?" You fume, your grip on your textbooks tightens, and your pace quickens.

"You wound me." Theo simpers, clutching his chest in mock-hurt.

Being in Theo's presence was getting you more and more riled up. You felt like you were minutes away from becoming a human version of a Filibuster Firework. Theo loved when you got like this. He can't quite pinpoint the exact moment he realized why he liked seeing you so worked up, but he's quickly reminded by the staggered breathing and the rapid rise and fall of your chest.

Theo continues to stroll alongside you, an air of arrogance in each step he takes. You quickly realize you have no idea where you're headed. The echoing of both your steps, coupled with the hovering nuisance on your side, makes you let out a sharp, frustrated exhale. You turn to Theo, glaring daggers into his stormy eyes.

"Can you just go? You're so—ugh." You growl, unable to find the proper words.

Theo's brows perk upward. There's something familiar about the expression you give him. He'd seen it before. Last time he'd seen it, the two of you ended up christening the boy's change room after a Quidditch match—Slytherin should beat Gryffindor more often.

Before you can articulate your frustrations, Theo grabs you by the wrist and pulls you into a vacant classroom. The feeling of his fingers around your wrist sends a jolt of warmth straight through your body. Theo pins you against the door, your books falling to the floor with a sharp thud. He skillfully locks the door with a slight flick of his wand before muttering the muffliato charm and putting his wand away. Darkened eyes meet your gaze, a mixture of amusement and want in his eyes.

"I'm so what?" Theo demands. His hand caresses your cheek before roughly wrapping around the base of your throat. "Use your words."

Your mind goes hazy, as if you've been confunded, the moment you feel his hand on your throat. You'd never admit how much you loved when Theo did that.

With a shaky breath, you meet his intense gaze to say, "Infuriating."

The way you reacted to Theo's touch was unlike any other girl he had the pleasure of fucking at Hogwarts. You were just so obvious, and Theo had no shame in admitting that he found it all extremely arousing. Of course, your mouth would claim otherwise, but Theo always had a plan to occupy your pretty little mouth.

You bite down on your lip, stifling the whimper begging to escape. Your breathing is in sync with each other, and the sexual tension makes the air around you thick.

"Are you going to fix it? Or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?" You tempt, leaning up slightly, just to see if he'll close the gap between your lips and his.

"I don't know," Theo responds, keeping a fair distance—only enough for your lips to brush lightly against his. To keep you wanting. Theo leans into your neck, ghosting breathy, teasing kisses up until he's milimeters away from your ear. "Are you going to say please?"

"You've got to be kidding," you huff, shooting a glare at Theo as you try to keep your breathing steady.

You weren't exactly experienced, at least not like Theo. You had a few moments with others, but no one had ever gotten you to feel as good as Theo did. It enraged you that Theo knew how good he made you feel, but you also took pleasure in knowing that you must be riling him up just as equally because Theo always seemed to come crawling back.

You bring your free hand up, tangling your fingers in his lush, brown locks, before tugging his head back a bit so he could look at you. He groans at this. It was one of many acts that really got Theo going, and it just so happened to be where your hands gravitated to the most.

"Please," you say, the tiniest of smirks on your lips.

Anticipation runs through your veins. You didn't need to say anything else. By the way he was looking at you, his lustful eyes boring into your gaze, Theo knew you needed him right now.

"Good girl," he muses with a cocky grin.

The first time Theo had praised you like that, while laced with ridicule, it had elicited a whimper that had him reeling. Today was no different.

Theo moves his hand from your throat and down to your waist, expertly pulling you away from the door and onto the desks behind him. Theo wastes no time and captures your lips with his. One hand finds your thigh, teasing up your bare skin and under your skirt. Your hands find and tug at his belt. Theo unbuckles it and tosses it aside.

"Let's see if you can keep it up." Theo says hotly against your lips.

It was in your nature to be good. But with Theo, there was that bubbling voice inside you that beckoned you to misbehave—to get under his skin. To be bad, all so he could teach you a lesson. Which is why, as Theo plants nippy, wet kisses down your neck, you can't help the words that blurt out of your mouth.

"Let's see if you can make me shake, like—what was that bloke's name..." You trail off, pulling him up by the collar of his shirt for another kiss and wrapping your legs around his waist to keep him close.

There was no other guy, of course, but you wanted him to think otherwise. The mischievous glint in your eyes changes to amusement as Theo's eyes darken. His fingers drag possessively across the insides of your thighs. It was hard for Theo to imagine you with someone else. You two weren't exclusive by any means, but the way you'd whimper and dig your nails into his back had him feeling territorial.

"Shake?" Theo asks against your lips. There was a tinge of something in his tone, and, deep down, you wanted it to be jealousy. "I'll fucking make you shake."

Feverish kisses move down your neck, eliciting a whine out of you, his free hands taking residence on the base of your throat. He plants open-mouthed kisses down the sensitive spots along your neck, sucking softly on the skin, surely leaving a mark everyone would be able to see. Theo pulls back to admire his work. He's pleased. You, on the other hand, were equal parts excited and annoyed. Excited because the sensation made the blood rush to your cheeks and to your core, and annoyed because you had to explain the markings to your friends.

"Theo," you hiss. "You know better."

Theo doesn't listen, obviously. Instead, he moves down your body until he's crouched and face-to-cunt. Slender fingers reach under your skirt, hook onto your panties, and slide the garment off. In an instant, Theo's between your legs, lapping his tongue relentlessly over your clit.

"Oh my god," you gasp, one hand grasping onto the edge of the desk, your back arching instinctively to bring yourself closer to his tongue. Your free hand finds his hair again, your hips rolling to meet his movements.

Theo's smirks into your core, a low groan escaping his lips as he feels you roll onto his mouth. Strong hands position themselves on either leg, urging you to spread your legs wider. You try to obey his silent requests, but it's not enough. Impatience hits him hard, and he's repositioning your legs so they're slung over his shoulders, a firm hand pushing your hips down onto the wooden desk. The new position allowed him to be flush against you, his tongue circling your entrance and lapping up any arousal.

"Theo," you moan, louder than normal.

You could tell he was pissed. It'd always been your goal, especially in intimate settings, but Theo had never been like this. He buries his face between your legs, his nose rubbing against your clit as his tongue works on your opening. He dips a finger in and withdraws it out of you slowly, contrasting his unyielding tongue. Your eyes flutter shut with pleasure.

"More," you choke out. "Please, give me more."

Your moans were fueling the already raging fire in him. Fuck, he needed to hear more of that. Theo uses his free hand to hold you steady, his tongue and lips unrelenting. He adds another digit inside of you, curling his fingers against your spot. Theo wanted to make you cum now more than ever. He wanted you to remember that even if you were fucking someone else, he was the only one who could make you unravel like this.

"Sit fucking still then," he growled against your slit, stormy eyes shooting up to look at you.

You fight hard to listen to him, desperately trying not to squirm. Theo was cruel enough to stop and leave you high and dry, so it was in your best interest to do as instructed. You dig your nails into the edge of the desk in an attempt to keep your focus on something other than the pleasure growing inside of you.

"Th-Theo," you gasp. "I—"

You're close, and you know what Theo wants—what he always wants. Theo wanted you to ask for permission, and with the image of someone else messing with you fresh in his mind, Theo needed to know he had that control over you now more than ever. Breathy pants fill the room, and you fear you can't hold it back any longer.

"Fuck, please. Can I please..." You moan, throwing your head back against the desk.

"Please what?" Theo says roughly against you. If Theo's cock wasn't already erect, it would be now. Your moans and gasps of pleasure were truly something that needed to be studied. Who knew these delightfully ragged breaths could come out of someone so irritatingly uptight? "Words, Y/L/N."

The fog of pleasure Theo has you in has made it impossible for you to do the one thing you pride yourself on: following the instructions. Typically, Theo would remove himself and make you beg for contact. Today, though, his actions were ceaseless. Despite your strong will to be good, your body wouldn't cooperate.

"Oh my god," you whimper, your back arching as an intense orgasm washes over you. Your body jerks—no, shakes—and your moans are broken up by desperate gasps as wave after wave hits you.

Theo curses under his breath. As pissed as he was that you didn't ask, Theo graciously allows you to release on his tongue, lapping up your sweet fluids. He'd reprimand you later. As you come down from your high, your body collapses onto the desk. You've never felt anything like that before.

Theo stands and slides his fingers out of you slowly. His darkened, lustful eyes are trained on yours. As much as he enjoyed the view, Theo wasn't happy.

"Don't," you breathe. "I know—I should have... I know."

"So much for following instructions," Theo says, disregarding your words. He licks your arousal off his fingers casually, and the sight makes you shift and clench your thighs together. He was the hottest irritant you've ever seen.

"Fuck off," you say with an exasperated huff. You prop yourself up by your elbows, slowly moving into a sitting position. "You didn't exactly help the situation."

So maybe Theo was being a bit of a prick. Not like he could help it—you squirming and moaning for him like that triggered something primal in him. Theo didn't want to stop; he wanted to make you scream for him. Still, it really shouldn't have been hard to ask.

By the way Theo was looking at you, you could tell it would take more than a crass brush-off to wipe the icy glare and pouted lips from his expression. Delicate fingers grip onto Theo's shirt, tugging him closer to you. You ghost your lips against his, meeting his steely gaze. "Will you let me make it up to you?"

You don't wait for a response. Instead, you nip at his bottom lip before pulling him in for a slow, deep kiss. Despite his annoyance, Theo kisses back, placing a strong hand behind your neck to keep you in place. The kiss is full of passion, anger, and need.

You maneuver yourself off the desk, unbreaking the hot kiss, as you reposition so that Theo's the one against the desk. He acknowledges you taking charge, and he allows it because, quite frankly, whenever you did take charge, Theo found it extremely intoxicating.

Only now do you break the kiss, peering up at Theo as your hands fumble with his pants. He kicks them off just as you remove your own top, making a point of leaving your bra intact. Theo's breath catches. God, he wanted to bury his face between the valley of your breasts.

"So?" You ask again, a devilish smirk on your lips, your fingers making progress on unbuttoning his collared shirt. "Will you?"

"Go on, then." Theo says. It's not lost on him how much leniency he gives you—not just in this moment. Any other girl who disobeyed his instructions would have been tossed aside so he could move on to the next. But with you, as vexing as you were, you also very much intrigued him.

At his permission, you lightly push him back so he's sitting on the desk, giving him a much comfortable position to watch as you slowly unhook your bra, letting the garment fall to the floor. You can sense his probing eyes on you, and you can't help the sly smile that appears as you straddle him, one leg on each side of him.

Theo's hands find your waist immediately, slowly sliding up your sides, to your bare back, and then to your front. He squeezes your breasts, eliciting a breathy moan from you. Your skin was soft under his rough hands.

"And I thought you were going to let that ego of yours make a horrible choice for the both of us." You tease.

Theo's too enamoured with this new position (and view) to respond to your jests. One hand rests firmly on your jaw as he pulls you in for a kiss, his teeth grazing your bottom lip. Meanwhile, your hand moves to stroke his length, feeling Theo grow even harder at your touch.

"Shit," Theo groans.

"Someone's missed me," you whisper against his lips. Your thumb teases the tip of his cock, evoking a slight twitch out of him.

"God, shut up."

Theo wanted nothing more than to wipe—no, fuck—that smug expression on your face. And he's just about ready to take matters into his own hands, but you beat him to it.

Still wet from your previous orgasm, you were beyond ready to have Theo inside you. You lift yourself up slightly, guiding him to your entrance. He bites back a groan, his hands gripping your waist. You lock gazes as you slowly lower yourself onto him, your mouth falling open in a glorious 'o' shape as you take all of him into you.

While this wasn't the first time you had Theodore Nott resting deeply in your cunt, you took a moment to adjust.

"Are you going to move, or what?" Theo growls impatiently, bucking his hips and roughly nipping at the soft skin on your neck.

His impatience makes you smirk.

"Hey," you say, with a wry smile. You snake your fingers up to his hair, tugging his head back slightly to give you room to trail a path of kisses along his neck. You were going to prolong this and make you both ache for more. You didn't want to be the only one who was a moaning mess today. "If I'm making it up to you, then it's my rules."

"You know I don't give a shit about rules."

"Too bad."

This makes Theo's jaw clench. Before he can utter another quip, you're rolling your hips, feeling him embedded inside you. The movement feels good, but you know it's not enough for either of you just yet.

"God, I'm thankful your ego isn't the only thing that's big," you moan against his ear.

This makes Theo's jaw clench. You hear a string of curse words in another language, something you've noticed Theo does in moments where his brain had short-circuited. Enough sense, it seems, is knocked back into him as you can understand the breathless words, "And you take me so fucking well."

Theo's lips find the top of your chest, kissing down feverishly. His tongue flicks expertly against your right nipple as his hand moves to grip your bare ass from under your skirt. You arch into him, letting out a sharp gasp at the dual sensation. Despite his sentiment about rules, Theo lets you control the pace. He holds back the strong desire to thrust upwards into you, to fuck you hard.

"Oh, Theo," you whine as you continue to roll your hips. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and lift yourself up, almost completely off his dick. Ghosting your lips against his, you push yourself back down—hard—feeling him go even deeper. You repeat these movements, your moans growing louder.

Theo can't stop the thoughts of how gorgeous you looked from clouding his mind. You weren't bad to look at normally, but seeing you fuck yourself with his cock had to be one of the wonders of the world. Only if that were a reality, Theo's not sure he could stand anyone else ogling you like this.

"Yes, that... that feels good." Theo groans, his cock throbbing from your movements.

You press your forehead against his, your eyes locking with his as you continue. One of the things Theo liked most about this little arrangement was your unnerving ability to keep eye contact—there was nothing more sexy than seeing the woman you were pleasuring crumble. Eyes can tell you everything.

"I'm trying to—" you breathe, rocking yourself against him. The movement wasn't nearly fast enough, but the way you were moving had him reaching depths you didn't know were attainable. "—to be good."

"Are you?" Theo asks between pants, squeezing your ass roughly. He leans into your lips. "Can you be a good girl for me now?"

You give him a small nod, your eyes fluttering shut for a moment. Your breath is quavering as you try to speak; your eyes re-lock onto his. "Am I not being good for you?"

This makes him chuckle darkly. Theo wasn't an idiot. He knew you practically yearned for his words of praise. The knowledge was something he took advantage of from time to time, withholding and dangling his praise in front of you just to see how far you'd go to make him say it.

To prove to Theo you were being good, you push yourself down onto him roughly, a whimper escaping your lips. You increase your speed, unable to hold out anymore, fucking yourself hard, deep, and fast on his cock.

"Fuck." Theo swears, and he can't help himself now. Hands keep you in place as he fucks up into you, cock hitting your spot repeatedly and mercilessly. He relishes the feeling of your wet core around him. Your clit presses against his pelvis at each thrust.

You took pleasure (literally and figuratively) in Theo's natural ability in knowing. He knew what to say, how to touch you so you were melting, and when to take back control. His hands digging into your hips told you everything you needed to know: Theo was going to fuck you senseless.

"I want to be good," you pant, your nails digging into his back, grasping for a release.

"Then you know what I want to hear."

He holds you flush against him, arms wrapping around you as he continues to thrust. He can feel his own pleasure grow. Your head falls onto his shoulder as you feel it building up in your stomach again. This time, you weren't going to wait until it was too late.

"Theo, please," you practically beg. Theo was the only person who'd ever make you feel like this, and you were past the point of caring whether he knew it too. "Can I cum, please? For you."

"Yes," Theo hisses. He was close too. "Cum for me. Now."

Your orgasm hits you hard and fast, your head falling back as you drag your nails into his skin. Theo continues to thrust up sharply, chasing the high for the both of you. You clench around his length, the sensation mixed with your moans pushing Theo over the edge.

"That's my good girl."

Theo's praise for you was not lost in the chorus of breathy moans and grunts of pleasure. His addition of the word 'my' made you shake even more as another wave of pleasure washes over you.

"Oh, God, yes, Theo."

His hand moves to the back of your neck desperately, guiding you into him for a passionate kiss as he spills into you with a moan.

Ragged breaths fill the room. There was always a moment of limbo after every encounter—a moment where the two of you stayed entangled and nestled with each other, savouring the proximity and stealing last, sweet kisses. You knew the moment you got up, the two of you would go back to despising each other again, until next time.

"So?" Theo asks after a moment, expectant of an answer, as if you could read his mind. "That dumb git you mentioned earlier. Was he better than me?"

His question makes you smirk, and you have to bite it back so as not to show how content you were that he had lingered on that thought.

"You don't want me to answer that," you say, giving him a small pat on the shoulder before getting up. You slip back into your clothes and adjust your hair.

The answer should have been obvious to Theo, but you weren't giving him the satisfaction of admitting it because it did nothing for your reality. This was as far as this would go. Theodore Nott was a pretentious asshole who just so happened to be a good fuck. There was never going to be more than that.

"You definitely exceeded expectations today, Theo," you say, gathering your books from the floor. "But you didn't do anything worth an outstanding."

With a swift flick of your wand, you unlock the door and leave Theo in the vacant classroom, already fantasizing about next time.

[questionable-sanity]

Xianle Quartet is a top tier polyship not only because of the metric ton of emotional baggage (and the sheer volume of sexual tension and awakening possible between 3 virgins and an effectively celibate fertility god), but also simply because they're all from a country renowned for beauty and pretentiousness, therefore treating impossible beauty standards as the norm.

Xie Lian's canon internal thoughts consist of not infrequently calling people ugly. Can we blame him? He was raised constantly surrounded by and continues to surround himself with devastatingly attractive people. Feng Xin, canonically olive-skinned and handsome, archer's figure. Mu Qing, canonically delicate-appearing and pretty. Hua Cheng, growing up to be tall and savagely beautiful.

Meanwhile, Hua Cheng is a literal fashionista, decked out in every possible silver accessory at any given moment, jingling like a Christmas elf and fabulous while doing it. He throws money around on luxury items just because he can, and his taste is impeccable. Mu Qing straight up destroys his own statues if they're ugly, literally described as wearing luxurious robes that he probably made himself because no one could do it better. They're the divas of this operation. They're judging you, hard, and they want you to know it, so you will.

Xie Lian is the equivalent of the naturally beautiful friend who doesn't wash their face with anything but a bar of soap and comes out looking flawless. He needs absolutely zero fashion sense because he could wear a trash bag and people would think it looks high fashion. Feng Xin is the himbo friend who washes with 10-in-1, yet his skin glistens in the sun like an oiled up ancient greek olympian. He does a normal amount of working out and comes out shaped like Captain America. They're simply God's Favorite, so they don't need to try.

Basically, I picture them as the blindingly hot polycule walking around like the Cullens entering their high-school cafeteria. Hair blowing in an invisible wind. Throwing incredible amounts of shade in the communication array.

They're hot. They're judgmental. They're literally the Mean Girls.

[euclydya]

If Izzet being Spotlit gave us a Peggle hyperfixation and Eddie being spotlit gave us a Pokefarm hyperfixation,,, Then what's *my* deranged hyperfixation gonna be.,,, Hmm. 🤔

[sir3n-s]

Steve knew that one day he wouldn't be able to refuse to play dnd. 

Especially since he was now dating a dragons master or whatever it's called. He can't keep up with all the names. 

And don't get him wrong Eddie is great and dnd sounds sort of interesting but he's been against playing for so long he doesn't want to give up the act. 

But he if was going to give up the act he was going to get something in return. 

The kids were all gathered at Steve's house for a movie night. 

They had 2 different kinds of movie night, one where they all actually watched movies and the other where the movie was just there for background noise while everyone either talked or worked on something.

Tonight Mike, Will, Lucas, and Dustin were making character sheets for Eddie's new campaign while trying to get Steve to join as well. 

"Just play one campaign" Dustin whined for the 20th time that night. And probably the 100th time in his life. 

"Are you ever going to let this go?" 

"No! You have to play one now that you're dating Eddie. Aren't couples supposed to try out each other's hobbies?" He got him there.

"He's got a point Stevie," Eddie says finally engaging in the conversation after being glued to the TV. Despite the volume being low he was still watching it with intense interest. 

"You're right, couples should try each other's hobbies" Steve agreed. 

"Uh oh," Robin says without looking up from the puzzle she was going with Nancy, knowing what he was going to say next since he ran his plan through her first.

"I will play a campaign but!" He says before the kids could get too excited, "you all have to play basketball with me" 

They all groaned. Except Lucas who was completely fine with this arrangement.

-

It was Saturday and they were all at basketball court in the park. Most of them were wearing their gym clothes. 

Except for Lucas and Steve who actually had basketball jerseys. 

Max and el were also playing since they wanted to join despite the fact they won't play dnd either. 

And who was he to say no to them? The more the merrier.

Robin and Nancy were sitting at the bench in the shade, Robin saying she refuses to play a sport because she's too clumsy and Nancy saying Robin shouldn't have to sit alone. But Steve knows they just want to talk shit about them. 

He wasnt going to stop them, he knew it was a lost cause to try to get them to join as well. 

The only rule they had before playing was that Steve and Lucas couldn't be on the same team, 'it wouldn't be fair' Dustin said and everyone else agreed. Even Robin and Nancy. 

So they ended up being the team captainsin on each team. 

Steve's team was Max, Mike, and El while Lucas had Will, Dustin, and Eddie. 

And it was going well! Better than Steve thought it would. Especially with how unathletic most of them were. 

Steves team was winng, and despite Dustin whinning about how it was because Steve was older and had more experience he hasn't even made all the points. 

He did score the first point but El scored the last 2. 

It's was 3 to 1. The only point they had was from Lucas. Eddie couldn't throw for shit, Dustin kept dropping the ball, and Will was actually doing pretty well but was kinda being ignored because Lucas and Dustin wouldn't stop arguing.

He can tell eddie was getting annoyed with having to constantly break up their fights.

Their team only needed one more point to win and Mike had the ball.

"Pass it to me!" He yells towards Mike and he does pass it to him. Just way too hard. 

Because it goes past his hands and right towardd his face. Smacking him hard in the nose and knocking him over. 

He hears everyone gasp as he groans on the ground.

He heard the tapping of people feet on concrete, and on grass, get close to him. 

"Holy fuck are you okay?" Despite his eyes being closed he can easily tell that's Eddie's voice.

"Damn Mike why did you throw it so hard" he hears max says. He also hears a light punch but doesn't comment on it this time.

"I didnt mean to!" 

"I'm okay" Steve says while getting up, grabbing his nose when he felt something on his lip. Blood, of course.

"That would've been a great throw if I was a little bit farther from you," he says towards Mike as Eddie helps him off the floor and leads him to the bench despite saying he was okay to keep playing.

Everyone gather arounds him as El hands him some of the napkins she keeps in her pocket.

"If this is how you all act everytime someone gets hurt it's going to get extremely annoying as we keep playing" Everyone makes weird faces, except for Robin who was grinning.

And Nancy because Robin definitely told her. 

He smiles. "You guys are going to want me to play more than one campaign, so you will all be playing more games of basketball."

While Lucas smiled, everyone else groaned.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Ma'am: Christmas

Aitana Bonmatí x Royal!Reader

Summary: Christmas in the Ma'am Universe

"Is it worth setting Real Madrid on fire?" You wonder aloud as you lay across three different seats in the friends and family box, throwing a tennis ball up and down thoughtfully.

"I'm afraid that might cause a diplomatic incident, ma'am," Your ever present bodyguard says gruffly," It doesn't belong to you."

You sigh, long and drawn out. "I guess." You think for a moment before sitting up. "Should I buy it? And then set it on fire?"

Your bodyguard, tall and serious and dressed entirely in black and wearing shades you're ninety percent sure means he can't see anything when the sun goes down, doesn't even let his lip twitch. You suppose he's meant to be intimidating with his stocky shoulders and large frame but he's holding your puppy Rufus, fast asleep in his arms, and shivering slightly in the cold air.

"Well?"

He sighs. "Why would you want to do that, ma'am?"

"For a Christmas present. For Aitana. It would make her happy, I think. For Real Madrid not to exist anymore."

"Has Her Royal Highness asked you that?"

"Well...no...but-"

"Then perhaps it's best that you refrain from that, ma'am."

You huff. "I don't think I want you holding the prince anymore."

That manages to get an upwards quirk of the lip from him though as you take poor sleepy Rufus from his arms. "Don't worry, Rufus," You whisper to him as you both watch Aitana walk onto the pitch with the team," We'll find something for your Mami that she'll love for Christmas."

Christmas for you have always involved pomp and ceremony and now that includes Aitana too. The family had their traditions and you were expected to abide by them.

Aitana hadn't really thought about how her life would change by marrying you. A lot of it hadn't. She could stay in Spain and with Barcelona and still play football. She could come home to the apartment you and her lived in with yappy little Rufus where you'll be at the stove, cooking up some monstrosity that she would eventually save you from after showering.

But this was Christmas and you were both expected at the Sandringham Estate to celebrate with the family so it wasn't going to be a quiet, private Christmas spent with just the two of you.

You had your traditions, which is what Aitana assumed this was.

"A present? It's the start of December."

"I can't give my wife a gift?"

No matter how many times you said it, Aitana could never stop the smile appearing on her face at that word.

Wife.

Your wife.

It was the new title that Aitana loved the most.

Because that was what she was.

Your wife.

"I...I haven't gotten you anything extra," She says," Was I meant to?"

You shake your head, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to her lips. "I'm the one that's changing Christmas for you. It's going to be different this year so I'm sorry. It's the least I could do."

"You're so sweet."

You grin. "I was planning on setting Real Madrid on fire but I was persuaded not to."

Aitana laughs, another kiss landing on you.

The gifts pile up after that.

For every day leading up to Christmas. Not one day is missed and you're both there to watch her open it, in front of the Christmas tree and happy little Rufus and his silly little puppy smile.

Jewellery, clothes and more practical things like a new pair of boots because her own were getting worn out or a book series she'd only mentioned wanting once in parting.

The gifts piled up and you didn't even seem to care for anything in return except for maybe a kiss.

"Tell me what we're doing later," Aitana says as you both lay back on the bed in the private jet," What should I expect?"

You'd delayed it as long as possible, letting Aitana have that private holiday season she had wanted. But you couldn't delay it forever so early Christmas Eve, had you both (and Rufus) flying back to England to join your family.

Aitana's fingers trace a pattern over the skin of your arm as you relax back into the pillows.

"Well William likes to play a game of football before dinner," You tell her," I expect you to show him how it's done and win. He's so excited to see your skills up close. But he'll be wearing stupid Aston Villa socks so be sure to tell him he looks stupid."

"So win a football match? I can do that."

"We do presents on Christmas Eve too. And then when all the kids go to bed we have a black tie dinner. I checked with Father though and our son can stay up and come."

Aitana laughs. "You don't have to keep referring to Rufus as our son, you know."

You frown. "Why wouldn't I? He is our son."

She laughs again. "What's next? Christmas Day? What do we do then?"

"Well, we usually go to a Christmas service but you don't have to come if you don't want to. After that, we'll have to go back to Buckingham Palace. That's where Father wants to broadcast his speech from this year."

"And we're coming too?"

You grin at her, biting your lip and leaning close to whisper in her ear. "I'm saving up a present for you. But you can't tell anyone."

"I can keep a secret."

And it's a secret Aitana does keep for the next day.

She does end up on a cold, English football pitch against your eldest brother and she does end up humiliating him much to your delight.

She plays circles around everyone like the professional she is and chooses William wearing the Barcelona kit instead of his favoured Aston Villa one as her forfeit.

Her pile of presents is large and not even all of them are from you but the ones that are, are her favourite.

Your own presents range from things you actual enjoy and want (from people like your father and auntie Anne) to gag gifts like one particular shirt planted with Aitana's face from your brother that you wear proudly before being forced to take it off for dinner.

"See," You whisper to Aitana with a grin," Not all English food is bad."

She looks down at her roast thoughtfully and purses her lips, fighting back a smile.

You poke her cheek. "Is that a grin? Is it? I think it is! I knew I would convince you one day!"

Aitana allows a weak smile on her face. "There's outliers in every cuisine," Is all she offers," I stand by what I said. Spanish food is better."

"Yeah," You laugh," That's why you've been eating all the Yorkshire puddings."

"They're nice! You should make these at home."

You kiss her hand with a wink. "As Her Royal Highness commands."

It's not the first time Aitana's been to Buckingham Palace but there's a different feel to it during the holidays. There's a tree in practically every room and festive lights hung up everywhere they can be fit.

You're giggling as you lead her through the halls, a pretty smile on your red cheeked face. You had a bit of liquid courage earlier in the form of a spiked eggnog that Kate had given to you before you and Aitana set off back to London with your father and his wife.

"Where are we going?" Atiana giggles as well," What is it?"

"Okay," You say, finally skidding to a halt in front of a pair of ornate doors," Close your eyes."

"You can't be serious-"

"Please? It'll ruin the surprise!"

"Fine."

Atiana closes her eyes and allows you to lead her into the room.

"Careful," You warn her," We're going up some steps. And then turn...Yeah, like that...And sit."

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"Just give me a moment."

Something is placed on her head and Aitana gets the feeling that she knows where she is.

"Okay," You say," Open."

You're on your knees in front of her, head pillowed on her thigh as you sit between her legs on the little dais.

"Beautiful," You say.

"You know I'm not meant to be sitting on this," Aitana says though she makes no movement to lift herself off the throne.

"But it suits you."

Aitana hums, lips pressed together thoughtfully as you plant a small kiss on the inside of her thigh. "You spoil me."

"Yes."

She frowns. "You'd do anything I asked."

"Don't say it like it's a bad thing," You say, eyes wide earnestly," It's not a bad thing. I'll do anything for you."

"Even now?"

You nod. "Even now."

Aitana grins at you, some of her own liquid courage swirling around her body as she widens her legs and fists her hand in your hair.

"I think you know where I want you."