#i don't mean to be upsetting either
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hey i saw a post about being upset that content creators might start scabbing strikes and three things
1. that really is not a thing i expect to see happen, online creators are still microcelebrities. i get markiplier was cast for the iron lung movie or some shit but if i say names like "jerma, jacksepticeye" irl unless theyre a parent they probably wont have no idea what i am talking about, and even if theyre a parent, even still. i do NOT expect some old hollywood producers to be twirling their evil moustache and go haha excellent, now bring in corpsehusband. if i am proved wrong, whatever. but my point stands. unlikely!
2. please. i am begging you to think about how many content creators there are that are rly tiny, theres only a few big ones in reality.
3. the strike is important. but i also dont think making weird ass posts like that helps lol. mine doesnt either for the record but for the love of god log off and maybe go help out with the strike if you care so much instead of going oh my god i am so mad i know content creators are going to scab just fucking watch ohhghh like...who said they would? you are sitting there assuming lol
#today while i suffer on the toilet from my bad eggs diahreah i am telling tumblr to touch grass in my plce#also re theres only rly not that many ppl with huge numbers enough to be rly kinda known by the general public like#even if they scab there is still many on strike and it wouldnt fuckin replace ppl on strike#i also want to note most ppl ive spoken to around me support the strike#and i am by no means a big creator#but god damn that was such an internet brain post#YOU HELP NOTHING MAKING THAT POST LOL#i don't mean to be upsetting either#i get what people mean#but also i rly just want people to think a little less sensationally#i know its easy to these days
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Wowie rly digging the yandere clone headcanons… how would each react if their darling tried to run away from them?!
You said tried so I assume this was a failed attempt!
Short answer: they get really upset and try making it your fault (shocker.) Ain't no way any of these mfs think they're the problem. Good news! you're mostly unharmed and alive.
This will just be purely writing bc i mostly had thoughts! sorry no drawing this time!!
[cw! mentions of potential harm to reader (no actual harm done), manipulation, toxic relationship dynamics (yandere flavor), obsessive behavior]
Sekido
You're always being hunted the moment the sun comes down and you don't return home in time. Reasons like that are exactly why he hates it when you part from him.
This time is different.. he can't find you in your usual spots. There's no fucking way, right?
How could you.. No, how DARE you? Do you think that he's some joke? That his feelings for you are something that you can run away from like it's nothing?
The second he's sure the sun won't harm him, he's already white knuckling his khakkhara, swinging at anything and everything in his path until he gets to you.
They know how to sense if you're near or not, hell, they probably know how your specific blood type smells like.
Did you think cuddling up to you and memorizing every detail about you was for nothing? Don't be stupid. All he needs is a trace of you and he's gone in the blink of an eye.
You better enjoy running while you can because when he catches you, and he will, those legs of yours won't have much use after he's done with them.
Sekido doesn't WANT to do this, but you honestly give him no choice. After he trusted you enough to stop looking over his shoulder, you do this? How can he ever put any faith in you again!?
On the bright(?) side, Sekido's rage wouldn't be solely on you, it'll ricochet onto everyone, especially the other clones and himself.
They were supposed to be looking after you! But they can't do anything right, even a task as simple as this.
And why did he think it was a good idea to trust them with something of big importance when all they do is fuck everything up!? Everyone's idiocy is rubbing off on him!
The entire time on his search for you, he's cursing and wanting to crush anything he can get his hands on, especially your bones.
He doesn't even bother with speaking to the others, too busy spewing out all sorts of hurtful and frustrated comments about everything.
The brutal thought that you’d rather run away than be with him isn't one he wants to entertain, but it's echoing in his head.
At least, once the other clones get there, Karaku and Aizetsu brawl with Sekido so you're unharmed while Urogi carries you overhead.
Sekido's jealousy flares up when he sees you in Urogi's arms, making him even more pissed if that's even possible. Great, now he looks like the bad guy and the other three, the saviors. Fucking perfect.
There's a lot of yelling and a lot of blood, especially with Urogi making things so much more annoyingly difficult in the air. Karaku and Aizetsu aren't helping. Why is Sekido suddenly the problem?! You ran away!!
But when he calms down enough, he's cursing at everyone through clenched teeth. Sometimes trying to convince the others that you don't even need your legs anyway!!
Once you get back home (or temporary prison until you somehow regain favor), Sekido will eye your legs while gripping his staff from time to time.
Exactly why he's forbidden to be in a room alone with you for a while until he settles down..
He glares at you more often and grows colder than before. Arguments are more common where he twists your words just to have you talk with him and be angry within reason.
Any other type of conversation makes him so irrationally upset that the others need to step in so that he doesn't lose his temper again.
Karaku
The calmest out of the group. He brushes it off as “you're playing hard to get” again, and if he makes a ruckus, you'll scamper back and beg him to stop like always!
Then it gets darker out.. and when Sekido left, he seemed pretty pissed. Like more than usual..... shit.
Karaku sprints after Sekido when it clicks that he's found you. His mind starts reeling, unsure whether he should laugh at the absurdity of your decisions or get pissed off because you didn't even bother to give a hint!
Not like that would do anything aside from give you away but regardless!
Everyone needs to relax, this is obviously something they can sweep under the rug. This isn't that big of a deal and you're just having a fit, but things like these can get you hurt, y'know?
They're fun and all, sure, just maybe give him a heads up next time, yeah? Sekido can't take a joke, you know this!!! Still.. There's a way Karaku can work with this.
He'll be able to swoop in, save you, be your hero, and remind you why staying with him is kinda important. Just in case you forgot~
You don't wanna be out and about without his charming grin and protective hold would you? Don't answer that right now, he has a feeling you'll say something wrong!
Yet.. what if you need a firmer hand to remind you of what Karaku provides? What if you got a little too comfortable being protected so you thought you'd be alright leaving them? Man, who knew you could be spoiled!
Because of this, he would purposely fumble, letting Sekido get near you just so he can stop him at the perfect moment. He purposely gets hit too and makes sure some blood gets near you. To remind you how that could've been yours.
When Sekido calms down, Karaku laughs in your face and would pinch your cheeks if you weren't up in the air with Urogi on the way home.
You should've seen your face! It was really cute~! Maybe getting scared is your thing? He'll note that for later.
He offhandedly advises you not to do things like that all the time, fighting Sekido always kinda sucks, but it's not like you actually had a chance of successfully running away so he won't chastise you too much for it.
That's not his job, and his heart hasn’t pumped that fast in a long time.. not even in a fight! You're so amazing~~
And delusional if you think he's not going to milk this “heroism” thing back there for some extra affection points with you.
Don't be so mean. he got his head blown off twice and jaw dislocated thrice, not to mention everywhere else on his body. Don't you think those parts of him need some extra loving? more than usual?
There's not that much Karaku can say after that aside from reminiscing like it was a funny story. He's not upset about it, mostly a little miffed you got kinda far without him noticing, but he gets over it.
The usual routine starts back up for him when you're back home. It's like nothing happened, but he keeps a closer eye on you since everyone's so tense.
Urogi
If you're not home before the sun sets, Urogi's clawing at the walls with stress. He usually accompanies Sekido to go find you, but this time is different. Urogi could just barely tell you were around.. When Sekido bolts, Urogi's flying as fast as he can, trying to find you first.
You're so far.. you must've gotten kidnapped!!!!!
The stress from before burns into anger, expecting to see someone having their hands on you while you're calling out in vain. How could he let this happen?! Damn sun!
He darts through the skies even faster imagining it, and when he finally reaches you, you look.. fine? and alone. and looking at him like he's the danger. He's here to save you, dummy..
Urogi falls to his knees, burying his face against your stomach and finally wrapping his arms around you again. Your fists violently hit his head and yank fistfuls of hair back, but it doesn't phase him.
Your comforting warmth is back, that's all that matters. And god, your smell.. it's almost making him dizzy. He missed you so much.
There's many holes to the story in Urogi's head as to why you're so far from home, but he fills them in with more convoluted delusions. It's just a peaceful reunion right now..
That is until Sekido finally arrives and starts swinging his khakkhara way too close to your fragile bones.
Now he's back in defense mode where he scoops you up and tries flying out of reach. This is so stressful!!! There's lightning everywhere and he keeps having to dodge the multiple staffs thrown his way.
He shields you with his wings as best he can while trying to stay in the air, so you don't get hurt during Sekido's outburst.
In the skies, it's much clearer to see the hurt behind the haunting glow of Urogi's eyes. Did you care about how he might feel? Did you miss him at all? Did you not feel loved enough? Did someone say something to you?
As he maneuvers the sky, he holds you as tightly as possible, lightly digging his talons into your skin.
Being without you for a couple hours is agonizing enough on its own. If you HAD left him, abandoned, cold, alone.. he doesn't want to think about it. All that matters is that your kidnappers or liars or whatever influenced you are gone, and you're back safe with them!!!
You.. you still like him, right? Of course you do, fate wouldn't force your paths together if it wasn't for a reason!
Coming back home is uncomfortably tense, especially with how violently Aizetsu kicked Urogi across the room, nearly through the wall, when he tried to lick your wounds clean. It really hurt!
When you're patched up, Urogi is ten times as clingy if that's possible. He has his arms looped around you constantly so you can't stray too far, and if his hands are busy, he always has his wings!
As happy as he is that you're back, he can't help but cry into your chest sometimes. Everything is so tense nowadays, he hates it! How could you go and do something like that? Apologize immediately! Or at least hold him too? Doubt creeps in a lot, and your attitude isn't helping..
His mood swings are stronger. From sobbing uncontrollably into your clothes to being all smiles and radiating with joy the next just because you said something vaguely decent.
Aizetsu
The demotivation started to creep in the second you left. During the day, Aizetsu sits by the door, wanting to be the first one you properly greet. Sekido and Urogi usually bring you back and he'll be the one in your good graces without lifting a finger. That sounds nice..
But as the footsteps fade and the silence lingers, Aizetsu feels miserable the longer he waits... Hold on, silence?
Before he realizes what's happening, he's already dashing to where the familiar commotion is coming from. Dread sets in as his legs take him as fast as they can whilst being the slowest of the four. This doesn't feel like they're rushing over to you after a long day, it feels.. dangerous?
What did you get yourself into..? Why do you insist on going to places Aizetsu can't follow? Are you safe? He hates not knowing.
Usually you're the one who's fine. You deal with four demons almost daily! Please please please be okay. He can't fathom it if you were hurt.
When he gets there, the puzzle pieces fall into place and Aizetsu gets even more depressed, but at least you're not hurt. Well, not if he interferes. His movements are sluggish, a perpetual frown plastered on his face as he tries holding Sekido down.
Aizetsu wants to dissolve into the floor, and he does sometimes. Not wanting to fight Sekido off anymore, he slumps over.
This could've been a regular day where you came home.. Are you serious? Leaving? How pitiful could you be to actually think you could get away? Or was it that you wanted to play some sick joke on them? Well, it's not very funny... It's terrible actually.
Aizetsu stays silent on the way home, walking with a bit more energy knowing you're near despite his heart ache.
You can feel the harrowing disappointment radiating off of him the moment you all go back home.
He's tired, annoyed, and so unbelievably upset. Aizetsu grimaced when Urogi got near your scratches with his tongue, so he “politely” ushered him away.
Knowing a human's weak points is good in battle, but he started trying to learn how to heal them, specifically because he knew these types of things might happen.
As he cleans your scratches, he's actively scolding you for leaving in a cold emotionless tone. And by scolding, he's using manipulative language, trying to make you guilty for everything you did.
He barely has the energy to live, but now that he finally found his light in the darkness, you want to leave? Is it so wrong he wants to hold onto what makes him even a smidgen happier than usual? He reminds you that he'll wither away without you, but he's not really too keen on dying just yet.
When he tries to get back into a routine, he just can't. He knows why you left, but he doesn't want to hear it. Even if you're sweet to him or not, he'll hold you from behind when you rest.
Looking at you is too much, but being away from you is even worse. Aizetsu compromises this way, but gets quieter, occasionally sniffling when he hides his face behind you.
There's too much going on and he's so tired.. If it weren't for the others, he probably would've held you so tight for so long so that you both would perish together.
Maybe that’s why he's only allowed to hold you when you're asleep. Just please don't do that again.. He NEEDS you. Please, please, please.
Safe to say you gave them a scare. When they double down on the protectiveness, living is ten times more difficult for EVERYBODY. when you lose their trust, it's pretty difficult to gain it back, but not impossible!!
Sekido and Urogi will always assume the worst if you're gone for too long while Karaku and Aizetsu give you a little more freedom until the others drag them along into their worries.
#null rot#yandere demon slayer#yandere kny#yandere kimetsu no yaiba#Sekido#Karaku#Urogi#Aizetsu#cloaked cult member#not art#null brainwash#null gospel#IM NOT A WRITER!!!! JUST A REMINDER!!!!!!!!! JST A RAMBLER!!!!!!!!!!!!#i really couldn't think of anything drawing wise to go along with this.... but I really wanted to write for it even if I'm a bit amateur#Am I even doing this bullet thing right?? I'm not good at cohesive thoughts. but I try!! I hope I did this right..??#Also. Sekido honestly doesn't want to hurt you or even put his hands on you. he's just really scared you might something will happen to you#how the fuck is he going to live with himself if you somehow get eaten by another demon? or worse. used as bait from either demon or slayer#now that upper moon fucking four has a soft spot. its really selfish of you to run away..#don't you see how that can ruin everyone's lives including your own!? (manipulative)#why he gets more upset with any other type of convo at the end is bc it reminds him of how things were before. they were good.#but you had to ruin it didn't you? (manipulative ×2) and for sure for sure. if he holds your hand you're getting a bruise.#Karaku is hella chill bc he's wayyy too cocky that he can find you again. the little arrogance he has rearing its head again.#Hes not stupid. he knows you want to escape. but that means he has to whittle you down a little more. get you used to this. to them. to him#You can't escape. he won't let you. He belongs with you. so just try and get comfortable. yeah?#Urogi.. going through it. Hes like your ankle monitor. very fragile minded with his mood swings but extremely stubborn about letting you go#Hit him. pull at his hair. push him away. spit at him. hes sad for a while but bounces back. he always does! and he knows you will too!!#He just needs to wait.. even if it hurts his feelings sometimes. but never for long because you'll be back to loving him like before!#Aizetsu's stuck in a loop of angry -> sad until he ends up quietly crying because hes depressed you dont like them. eveything is pitiful.#he cant even move on bc youre his light. nothing will change that. even if you hurt him. all he can beg of you is to be kind to him. adjust#hes not the monsters you think he is. he can be sweet kind gentle. whatever you want.. just please.
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One criticism I saw about Dragon Age Veilguard was that everything in the game was kind of sanitized compared to past titles, making for overall weaker and less impactful writing.
And I would agree that Veilguard feels more "family friendly", which comes with both pros and cons. There's definitely a thoughtful critique to be made.
But the specific example used in this post was the Lords of Fortune and how they have scholarly experts examine their acquisitions to avoid stealing objects of significance from other cultures. And how this effort to avoid being problematic makes the entire faction seem more shallowly presented.
I think that ignores the fact that the Lords of Faction is led by Isabela. Isabela, who in Dragon Age 2 stole the Tomb of Koslun not really realizing what its value was to the Qunari people. Her ignorance directly led to so much conflict and literally hundreds of deaths in Kirkwall. It makes perfect character and narrative sense for her to have learned from the experience and to take pains not to repeat that kind of mistake in the future.
Isabela was always the kind of person who wants to make money with a minimum of effort and have fun. But even in her more selfish days, she never wanted to hurt vulnerable people to do it. I think her relationships with Hawke and Merrill helped her grow into a more thoughtful person, and the way she runs the Lords of Fortune is a reflection of that. It actually makes perfect sense.
#Dragon Age#DA Veilguard#DA Veilguard spoilers#there are so many critiques of this game that are upset that it isn't as miserable and and dark and grim as past titles#while it's definitely a significant tonal shift I don't think it's entirely negative#focusing on the extremes of things like fantasy racism doesn't always make a title more mature and thoughtful#sometimes it's actually less mature in the sense that it presents these behaviors as cartoonishly evil#when in reality oppression and discrimination are often far more banal#I do think it went too far in the other direction#but that doesn't mean the past titles got the balance right either
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me when the doomed yaoi is actually doomed. im so upset give them back (this post is about 4halo)
#goopert talks qsmp#qsmp#4halo#not actually upset i mean /rp upset like fittingly upset about the situation that has occured for q!bbh and q!forever on behalf of them#anyway WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOREVER IS EITHER TAKING A BREAK FROM THE QSMP OR IS LEAVING PERMANENTLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T KNOW WHICH#IM SO SADDDDD im gonna miss them so much#meanwhile cc!bbh when he sees a moment to make his character spiral: >:) (he's so real for that)#ohhhh everything hurts it's all gonna hurt so bad. ohhhhh god#also you know how bad can do x4 quests now for some reason?#imagine one of those is for richas. oh my god.#guys im already envisioning richas relying on q!bbh more and more and eventually wanting to call him pai im so sad
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Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
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Marinler wedding but when the priest says "you may now kiss the bride" Mariner dips him
#he's blushing very hard after btw#marinler#beckett mariner#brad boimler#bradward boimler#i am having Thoughts ok#also apparently this is my first time posting about marinler on this blog?? weird. but yea#also thing about marinler is i do not actually need them to be canon and will not be upset if they aren't. like i'd enjoy if they were but#either way is fine. compare to tendiford which while i do not NEED to be canon in the strictest sense i literally always assumes was 100% g#going to be canon. note that i started with hear all trust nothing (i like quark ok. in case you couldn't tell from the url) and then watch#watched the whole show linerarly after. and i didn't even know their names yet but by the end of the ep i was like 'oh so these two are end#endgame ok cool' and i have only started to ship them more since. but that just as an aside.#i mean this is literally a one sentence marinler post yet here i am telling you my tendiford history but whatever that's who i am now. also#i don't think this has a shot at being canon but i would very much enjoy if all four of them became a polycule. possibly plus t'lyn. yea.#anyway#ld#star trek#lower decks#star trek lower decks#lwd#st lwd#original posts fresh from quark's pussy
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Currently going down a rabbit hole of finding a lot of my art reposted on reddit
#Not upset.. just leaves me with a “huh” expression#I mean as long as Im credited it's fine#I don't have reddit anyways so not like I can do much either way
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mental illness/personality disorder acceptance isn't "i should be able to do what i want forever with no consequences because of my disorder, and if you get mad at me for being an asshole then you are being ableist"
instead it's not believing in thought crime. it's not thinking that low empathy makes you a bad person. it's not judging attention-seeking behavior. it's not enforcing ableist societal standards on people who can't meet them. it's being understanding when people are trying their best. it's not thinking that doing bad things makes you irredeemably a bad person forever, and supporting people who want to do better.
you do not deserve to have your harmful behaviors 100% excused just because you are mentally ill. you are still hurting people. you don't have the moral right to hurt people, and it doesn't make you superior to not want to get better.
#important context i have bpd and low empathy and i'm autistic#among other things#i recognize that when i hurt people that was a decision i made#and people are allowed to be upset at me for it#that doesn't make me evil. it means i make mistakes#and either 1. i try to be better and stop hurting people so that they will like me and because. yknow. hurting people bad.#or 2. accept that if i don't want to be better and i want to continue to hurt people then i am not going to have any friends and if i need#help i won't get it because i have pushed everyone away. because i prioritized my want to be an asshole over human connection#and that's your right if you choose that#but it does not make people ableist if you hurt them repeatedly and do not try to get better and don't take responsibility for your actions#and they decide they don't deserve that treatment and you are mean#not to mention that acting like people with personality disorders are powerless and cannot change or improve and are inherently evil#is going to make it harder for people with personality disorders in general
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Highly recommend every OFMD fan read Pretty Gentleman by Peter McNeil before they open their mouth about the connection (or lack of connection as they inaccurately claim) between fashion and effeminacy in the 18th century
#like either we’re using an 18th century lens to understand Stede in which case he’s femme#or we're using a modern lens to understand Stede in which case he’s femme#also people arguing that its only about class love to forget that namby-pamby was aimed at Ed#is Izzy saying that Ed is upper class?#I mean he is rich but I don't think that's something Izzy has an issue with#and also Calico Jack is the one that calls Stede a fop#so idk why some Izzy fans get so upset about people pointing out that fop is about effeminacy#Izzy could say Stede was of 'the dubious gender' or something and people would be like#'actually considering Izzy's accent this is a comment about class'#our flag means death#historical fiction
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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There aren't enough toxic sunflower AUs. I need to make another one. I have so many ideas
#mostly very close-to-canon things; maybe even a post-canon AU thing#just. sunny's habit of ignoring all of his problems until they go away (they don't) and never addressing anything#vs. basil's overthinking and need for frequent reassurance because. beautiful prince disorder#neither of them communicating because. like.#to sunny even the THOUGHT of addressing a problem would freeze him right into place so he just. pretends it isnt there.#and basil would be like. but what if im bothering him by asking what if he gets upset with me for being needy or clingy or what if-#so neither of them ever communicate/say anything and i can just SEE basil fucking exploding in a full-blown psychotic meltdown from anxiety#they would be terrible for each other in every universe ❤#not even because either of them like. does bad things or gets mean or whatever. their issues just Match like that. to me#rant#omori#sunnflower
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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should i make a tag list ,, would anyone care ,,
#respond pleek /srs#.txt#maybe it's the mental illness and i'm overthinking and upset over 30 things but i always feel i'm either shadowbanned#or ppl just never see my posts . (or worse just don't care but i don't wanna complain abt that here i'll just keep it to myself like usual)#and smtms i need that 😭 bc of my paranoia 😭#<- ppl to acknowledge and engage i mean#idek if you can get shadowbanned on tumblr lol but yk
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I don't know how to write this without it being horribly obvious who I'm writing about
#but at the same time. since when have I cared about that?#I wrote an entire poem about another writer and then flashbanged you all with a song. idk. I want to post this and talk about it#I like what I've written#but it IS very directly and not even vaguely about another person and I don't have any right to say any of these things#I've never had the right to miss anyone. I always love too hard. far more than is reciprocated at least#everyone means the world to me but everyone has someone who means far more to them than I ever will#I'm not anyone's most important person. or even AN important person. but everyone is so so important to me#idk a song came on my playlist while I was reading and now I feel really upset about something stupid#like. a friendship lost that wasn't even that close. I don't think this person cared anywhere near as much as me. and I didn't#care as much as I should've/could've either. so. it's complicated#Lu rambles#sometimes I think I could write poetry
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and if i say i hate that one of the uh 5 mentions hel.aena has in f&b is about her being loved by the people in contrast to the public opinion of rhae.nyra at that point and her death sparking a riot only to have to watch her be attacked bc rhae.nyra is the only good queen allowed on the show
#hotd critical#* out of character: { dreamfyre stan }#the people not caring who's in the throne so long as their needs are met is a valid point to make#but i don't have to like the way it's done or the fact hel.aena literally got NOTHING from the book so far#nothing with dream.fyre#nothing from the coro.nation#b&c was. hm#and her grief is never truly addressed#and she can't be a well liked queen either bc that's for rhae.nyra only c':#not a bad episode overall but unfortunately i was upset jkandkjsndkjn#it's ok i feel ok i ranted about it for an hour with my cousin already akdsjnfkasjdnf#(i could go on for longer. i never shut up about characters i'm attached to especially when they're portrayed in some way i don't like)#after that she asked me about the end of the dance and was surprised to learn how long aeg.on lives. also lar.ys#we watch the show together#and she's team whichever characters she finds interesting or entertaining which currently means ae.gon is high on the list#anyways. i have Thoughts about show!hel.aena and few of them are good 🤷#none of this is a dig at rhae.nyra or those who like her btw#i just don't like how the show portrays her#and i don't like the changes it makes to other characters and situations to fit that
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I'm actually glad that I read this because this is something I have expressed myself in the past.
It is very clear while a work and creator may not be perfect, some people obviously don't care at all about what they say and how it affects that person they're direction their hostility, too.
Not just the JJK fandom, but for any fandom, just in general, some people need to learn the difference between criticism and being a total ass.
Criticism should be helpful, should be advice that allows a creator of any kind to take and refine what they do. Criticism is tips. Criticism is pointing out mistakes that can be corrected. Criticism is something that should make a creator feel motivated to do sharpen their art.
Death threats is not criticism. Wishing harm qnd misfortune on someone is not criticism. Saying "this sucks, it's not for me, I wasted my time" is not criticism. Thinking you're better than the creator and your vision of THEIR story is not criticism. Acting like a whiny prick because the story isn't something catering to just you is not criticism.
And since some people think they can just hand out "criticism", here's criticism for you.
Do better. The next time you think you're criticizing something, stop and think how you're going about it. Are you actually being helpful? Or are you just being an ass?
#reading that gege actually was going through mental problems brought me to flashbacks#of when i was going through something mentally a couple of times while working on a project#people being an ass towards you doesn't help#jjk may have had flaws but it's damn sure an entertaining story to me and i don't think anything gege had done with the story#should warrant someone to actually wish hin harm or any mangaka any creator really#like if you get upset about a plot point and think 'Kys' you are terrible and should do better#and i don't even mean it's a pass to do it in a joking manner either#because you'll keep doing it and think it's okay without realizing to the other person it's not#just kiya's thoughts#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gege akutami#akutami gege
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