#i don't mean to be upsetting either
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hey i saw a post about being upset that content creators might start scabbing strikes and three things
1. that really is not a thing i expect to see happen, online creators are still microcelebrities. i get markiplier was cast for the iron lung movie or some shit but if i say names like "jerma, jacksepticeye" irl unless theyre a parent they probably wont have no idea what i am talking about, and even if theyre a parent, even still. i do NOT expect some old hollywood producers to be twirling their evil moustache and go haha excellent, now bring in corpsehusband. if i am proved wrong, whatever. but my point stands. unlikely!
2. please. i am begging you to think about how many content creators there are that are rly tiny, theres only a few big ones in reality.
3. the strike is important. but i also dont think making weird ass posts like that helps lol. mine doesnt either for the record but for the love of god log off and maybe go help out with the strike if you care so much instead of going oh my god i am so mad i know content creators are going to scab just fucking watch ohhghh like...who said they would? you are sitting there assuming lol
#today while i suffer on the toilet from my bad eggs diahreah i am telling tumblr to touch grass in my plce#also re theres only rly not that many ppl with huge numbers enough to be rly kinda known by the general public like#even if they scab there is still many on strike and it wouldnt fuckin replace ppl on strike#i also want to note most ppl ive spoken to around me support the strike#and i am by no means a big creator#but god damn that was such an internet brain post#YOU HELP NOTHING MAKING THAT POST LOL#i don't mean to be upsetting either#i get what people mean#but also i rly just want people to think a little less sensationally#i know its easy to these days
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horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs
i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food
you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)
#hey guys. every time i don't post it feels like i'm abandoning my own children#NOOO im sorry i'll come back home... i wont abandon you chat PLEASE DONT MAKE ME PAY MORE CHILD SUPPORT#i've been a busy little bee i snicker out. and by busy i mean playing. and by playing i mean hi3#i'm sorry my brain literally cannot handle having more than one interest. once i get into something else the other thing becomes ignored#IT MAKE ME SO UPSET BECAUSE WHY CAN'T I DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS I LIKE EQUALLY ☹️☹️☹️☹️ is this a me problem#anyways none of these tags were related to the post. i usually do little extra tidbits adding onto the post when i tag huh#i just recently learned (2 years ago) that youre supposed to put the fork and knife in that order. i still mess it up#i've been drawing on this notebook from the same brand from what i drew on in 2019 AND GODDAMN 🤤🤤🤤#this notebook is SO FUCKING SMOOTH I LOVE IT 🤤🤤 drawing on this paper is like drawing on fucking BUTTER it's delectable#a shame nobody likes traditional art i cry out (i'm not particularly skilled in either traditional or digital)#you could call me a jack of no trades master of none#got this idea bcs i was listening to binomi (HARDCORE MARETU FAN SINCE I GOT A PHONE. WHAT YALL KNOW ABOUT MARETU‼️‼️‼️)#and i was like omg food theme.... horror. so i drew it in earlier mentioned notebook#and i was like hmm what positions should i put the fork and knife. and then i got this idea#i KNOW cannibalism songs aren't exactly horror themed. but let me be delusional i wanna give my boy a cool theme and cannibalism is soo coo#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#this is funny but in a sad way because i added context to it. as is with all my mtt content#it's comedic because i think they're all stupid fucking idiots but i also make them do this dumb shit bc theyre traumatized
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euughh just saw someone say that Celegorm kidnapping Lúthien to force her into marriage was "out of character" and just. I understand the urge to smooth the edges off your blorbo's flaws or whatever but if you've gotten to the point where you genuinely believe the author's portrayal of his own character isn't in line with canon then I think you just misunderstood what you read
#do you know what “out of character” means?#they're warmongers. they deliberately sent finrod to his death to usurp his kingdom. why do you think they're above kidnapping#unless you think murder is somehow a lesser crime than kidnapping or SA for whatever reason. because that's just bs#this is why I don't engage with the silm fandom as much. I feel like people just flat out get their fanons mixed up with canon#it seems like most people are either very “pro-Fëanorian” or “pro-Doriath” with little to no inbetween#when there are very few “true” heroes in the silmarillion. and the Fëanorians are not among them. nor is Thingol for that matter#it's almost as if that's the entire point!! :0 (sarcasm)#not tagging this with fandom stuff because I don't want to upset people but if it breaches containment that's out of my control#I have nothing against fanon because I'm deep in the fanon sauce myself#but when people say stuff like this I can't help but believe we just didn't read the same book#my post#personal
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me when the doomed yaoi is actually doomed. im so upset give them back (this post is about 4halo)
#goopert talks qsmp#qsmp#4halo#not actually upset i mean /rp upset like fittingly upset about the situation that has occured for q!bbh and q!forever on behalf of them#anyway WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOREVER IS EITHER TAKING A BREAK FROM THE QSMP OR IS LEAVING PERMANENTLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T KNOW WHICH#IM SO SADDDDD im gonna miss them so much#meanwhile cc!bbh when he sees a moment to make his character spiral: >:) (he's so real for that)#ohhhh everything hurts it's all gonna hurt so bad. ohhhhh god#also you know how bad can do x4 quests now for some reason?#imagine one of those is for richas. oh my god.#guys im already envisioning richas relying on q!bbh more and more and eventually wanting to call him pai im so sad
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Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
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Marinler wedding but when the priest says "you may now kiss the bride" Mariner dips him
#he's blushing very hard after btw#marinler#beckett mariner#brad boimler#bradward boimler#i am having Thoughts ok#also apparently this is my first time posting about marinler on this blog?? weird. but yea#also thing about marinler is i do not actually need them to be canon and will not be upset if they aren't. like i'd enjoy if they were but#either way is fine. compare to tendiford which while i do not NEED to be canon in the strictest sense i literally always assumes was 100% g#going to be canon. note that i started with hear all trust nothing (i like quark ok. in case you couldn't tell from the url) and then watch#watched the whole show linerarly after. and i didn't even know their names yet but by the end of the ep i was like 'oh so these two are end#endgame ok cool' and i have only started to ship them more since. but that just as an aside.#i mean this is literally a one sentence marinler post yet here i am telling you my tendiford history but whatever that's who i am now. also#i don't think this has a shot at being canon but i would very much enjoy if all four of them became a polycule. possibly plus t'lyn. yea.#anyway#ld#star trek#lower decks#star trek lower decks#lwd#st lwd#original posts fresh from quark's pussy
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Currently going down a rabbit hole of finding a lot of my art reposted on reddit
#Not upset.. just leaves me with a “huh” expression#I mean as long as Im credited it's fine#I don't have reddit anyways so not like I can do much either way
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mental illness/personality disorder acceptance isn't "i should be able to do what i want forever with no consequences because of my disorder, and if you get mad at me for being an asshole then you are being ableist"
instead it's not believing in thought crime. it's not thinking that low empathy makes you a bad person. it's not judging attention-seeking behavior. it's not enforcing ableist societal standards on people who can't meet them. it's being understanding when people are trying their best. it's not thinking that doing bad things makes you irredeemably a bad person forever, and supporting people who want to do better.
you do not deserve to have your harmful behaviors 100% excused just because you are mentally ill. you are still hurting people. you don't have the moral right to hurt people, and it doesn't make you superior to not want to get better.
#important context i have bpd and low empathy and i'm autistic#among other things#i recognize that when i hurt people that was a decision i made#and people are allowed to be upset at me for it#that doesn't make me evil. it means i make mistakes#and either 1. i try to be better and stop hurting people so that they will like me and because. yknow. hurting people bad.#or 2. accept that if i don't want to be better and i want to continue to hurt people then i am not going to have any friends and if i need#help i won't get it because i have pushed everyone away. because i prioritized my want to be an asshole over human connection#and that's your right if you choose that#but it does not make people ableist if you hurt them repeatedly and do not try to get better and don't take responsibility for your actions#and they decide they don't deserve that treatment and you are mean#not to mention that acting like people with personality disorders are powerless and cannot change or improve and are inherently evil#is going to make it harder for people with personality disorders in general
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Highly recommend every OFMD fan read Pretty Gentleman by Peter McNeil before they open their mouth about the connection (or lack of connection as they inaccurately claim) between fashion and effeminacy in the 18th century
#like either we’re using an 18th century lens to understand Stede in which case he’s femme#or we're using a modern lens to understand Stede in which case he’s femme#also people arguing that its only about class love to forget that namby-pamby was aimed at Ed#is Izzy saying that Ed is upper class?#I mean he is rich but I don't think that's something Izzy has an issue with#and also Calico Jack is the one that calls Stede a fop#so idk why some Izzy fans get so upset about people pointing out that fop is about effeminacy#Izzy could say Stede was of 'the dubious gender' or something and people would be like#'actually considering Izzy's accent this is a comment about class'#our flag means death#historical fiction
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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There aren't enough toxic sunflower AUs. I need to make another one. I have so many ideas
#mostly very close-to-canon things; maybe even a post-canon AU thing#just. sunny's habit of ignoring all of his problems until they go away (they don't) and never addressing anything#vs. basil's overthinking and need for frequent reassurance because. beautiful prince disorder#neither of them communicating because. like.#to sunny even the THOUGHT of addressing a problem would freeze him right into place so he just. pretends it isnt there.#and basil would be like. but what if im bothering him by asking what if he gets upset with me for being needy or clingy or what if-#so neither of them ever communicate/say anything and i can just SEE basil fucking exploding in a full-blown psychotic meltdown from anxiety#they would be terrible for each other in every universe ❤#not even because either of them like. does bad things or gets mean or whatever. their issues just Match like that. to me#rant#omori#sunnflower
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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I don't know how to write this without it being horribly obvious who I'm writing about
#but at the same time. since when have I cared about that?#I wrote an entire poem about another writer and then flashbanged you all with a song. idk. I want to post this and talk about it#I like what I've written#but it IS very directly and not even vaguely about another person and I don't have any right to say any of these things#I've never had the right to miss anyone. I always love too hard. far more than is reciprocated at least#everyone means the world to me but everyone has someone who means far more to them than I ever will#I'm not anyone's most important person. or even AN important person. but everyone is so so important to me#idk a song came on my playlist while I was reading and now I feel really upset about something stupid#like. a friendship lost that wasn't even that close. I don't think this person cared anywhere near as much as me. and I didn't#care as much as I should've/could've either. so. it's complicated#Lu rambles#sometimes I think I could write poetry
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and if i say i hate that one of the uh 5 mentions hel.aena has in f&b is about her being loved by the people in contrast to the public opinion of rhae.nyra at that point and her death sparking a riot only to have to watch her be attacked bc rhae.nyra is the only good queen allowed on the show
#hotd critical#* out of character: { dreamfyre stan }#the people not caring who's in the throne so long as their needs are met is a valid point to make#but i don't have to like the way it's done or the fact hel.aena literally got NOTHING from the book so far#nothing with dream.fyre#nothing from the coro.nation#b&c was. hm#and her grief is never truly addressed#and she can't be a well liked queen either bc that's for rhae.nyra only c':#not a bad episode overall but unfortunately i was upset jkandkjsndkjn#it's ok i feel ok i ranted about it for an hour with my cousin already akdsjnfkasjdnf#(i could go on for longer. i never shut up about characters i'm attached to especially when they're portrayed in some way i don't like)#after that she asked me about the end of the dance and was surprised to learn how long aeg.on lives. also lar.ys#we watch the show together#and she's team whichever characters she finds interesting or entertaining which currently means ae.gon is high on the list#anyways. i have Thoughts about show!hel.aena and few of them are good 🤷#none of this is a dig at rhae.nyra or those who like her btw#i just don't like how the show portrays her#and i don't like the changes it makes to other characters and situations to fit that
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It's interesting (derogatory) how Nancy (totally wasted, deeply traumatized) calling her relationship with Steve "bullshit" is treated in fandom like this huge existential wound to his very being, but Steve (understandably upset, but also sober and several hours removed from the fight) going "I think you're bullshit" is treated as just kind of nothing.
#i just don't think he internalized it that much!#given the way he talks about the relationship#he seems to regret certain actions (not clear which ones)#rather than regarding himself as a fundamentally terrible person#which is. like. good. and healthy.#i don't think it was a huge existential wound for her either#i think she knew he was upset#and was like wow i really can't say i love him. maybe i do want out.#but it was a mean thing to say
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Anon who sent the Blue Kirby ask, I promise i wasn't trying to be rude
I was just looking through your puffball-related tags and noticed Blue was missing
And sometimes I have difficulty phrasing my words in appropriate manners
That said, "not canon"? I think you're forgetting about Kirby Clash
(Okay technically that's another universe but uhhhhhh)
You're all good! I'm not upset or anything at all, and I hope you aren't either. Apologies if I came off as mean or anything.
I guess you're right that he's canon, though. Clash is such a can of worms 😅
#again apologies if i've upset you or anything. i don't mean to be rude either.#i just thought the phrasing was a little funny. the idea of someone vehemently demanding i draw more blue kirby tickles me.
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