#i don't like when a character feels like they're supposed to be relatable but i can't relate to them

[wemlygust]

I've been too busy being hung up on the fact that this fandom loves to have Danny be a trans boy or nonbinary, but at the same time Danielle is ALWAYS a cis girl even though she's Danny's clone, and even when she has Danny's memories and is supposed to be a thorough copy of him personality-wise too. If Danny is a boy (cis or trans, either way, doesn't matter) and Dani is a copy of him, then it would make sense that Dani might be a boy also, yeah? Gender may be male or otherwise. The body Dani was born in does not determine what their gender is.

Bodily form and chromosomes don't automatically tell you someone's gender, and in some contexts this fandom remembers that, but I feel like in the context of Dani everybody forgets? Somehow? And just gets swept up in "this one has boobs and a high voice so she's a girl of course!" despite all the factors that make that NOT an "of course". (Maybe because of how the show framed it like that? But DP and DPxDC fic strays from canon a lot otherwise!) Or, we could have a trans girl Dani, in which case here is a very easy explanation for why Danny's clone is a girl despite being a genetically identical clone! You could make a whole subplot about her discovering this and differentiating herself from Danny. Maybe he leaves on his usual worldwide adventure, and then like halfway through a long fic she comes back. She startles Danny this way, does Dani shenanigans related to whatever the main plot is, and then goes again, and Danny is left rearranging his mental model of Dani while he's also trying to do whatever other things he's doing. I think it'd be fun and give Dani a bit of depth in a novel way. Or we could have both trans boy Danny and trans girl Dani, or vice versa, at the same time. Maybe make them swap names and shapes and confuse fucking everyone they know; it'd be hilarious. But no. Danielle is never trans, always cis girl. Because. ?????????? I'm not condemning anyone for this at all; I think some of the authors who are all unanimously making Dani a cis girl are themselves trans, even. Even for trans people it can be hard to escape the culturally pervasive "these observable characteristics = sex = gender" brainworms. Nothing so deeply ingrained in so many cultures, and taught to everyone in a myriad ways from birth, can be easily booted from someone's brain even when they're trying their darndest. I'll grant that cis girl Dani/Ellie/Danielle is a very fun character nevertheless, though. I especially love the more chaotic/troublemaker versions of her. Finally... Lots of this also applies to Dan. I don't think I've ever encountered a trans or nonbinary Dan.

Speaking of Dan, people are always treating him like he's an older Danny, full stop, and forgetting he's also part Vlad, for some reason. /rant I love the DP and DPxDC fandoms I just wanted to vent a little about this particular thing

In the rush to punish and embarrass Superman for his actions in Young Justice (2010), the DPxDC fandom has forgotten that Danny may also have complex feelings about the invasive and horrific events leading to Dani's creation. This narrative denies him the right to process his trauma and indeed normalizes the idea that a teenager can and should be okay with a child being unexpectedly forced upon them. In this essay I will-

[qcomicsy]

Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

[balconyswirls]

.

[dammit-tazmuir]

I just genuinely do not remotely understand where you're getting this notion that "there's nothing sympathetic about Ianthe" or that "we're not supposed to care about her." Like where is your textual evidence? Because I have literally not seen one single person in this fandom yet who doesn't adore her, and I have a very hard time believing that's by accident.

I've seen people shit on Corona, and even rip her apart to emphasize Ianthe's tragedy without acknowledging how mutually toxic they are. I've seen people fail to acknowledge the nuance and sympathetic circumstances around all of John's stuff. I've seen almost nothing but making Silas the butt of jokes, and only very rarely any appreciation. I've seen people have problems with Palamedes of all people. I've seen criticism for Paul's existence.

I have at not one point yet encountered a person who doesn't adore Ianthe and want good things for her. I have never seen a single person be like "fuck that toxic bitch, I hope she gets what's coming to her" the way they do characters like John. Like maybe I've just been lucky so far, but I'm sorry, it REALLY, REALLY does sound like you personally sympathize with her LESS than most people do and are projecting that onto other people? Or taking "she's awful" extremely literally. Have you never seen or written a character that makes you go "oh they're the absolute worst, I adore them"? Is that just a new concept? I want to understand here.

I typed up a whole big thing about personal theories for Ianthe's mentality but decided it was probably too much and saved it elsewhere, so let me know if you want that I guess, but no worries if not.

For that matter though, what specifically proves that "Harrow is a terrible person"? Because a lot of fans find her deeply relatable, and there are both fans and other characters who don't see her sour grumpy attitude as particularly offputting and some actively find it endearing. "She made Gideon's life shitty for 16 years" can only do so much heavy lifting when we know for a fact Crux and other adults were worse offenders, Gideon was also constantly shitty to Harrow, Harrow was literally younger than Gideon, and Harrow was dealing with severe and untreated mental illness that Gideon personally exacerbated. (We KNOW Gideon is inclined to pull pranks on Harrow and rearrange things when she's out of the room and do other things that were very likely to cause Harrow to need to go to Crux for reality checks, that Gideon is a significant contributor to her fearing she's simply insane, and that she was actively afraid to let Gideon specifically know bad her brain was even though that could have helped a lot of them a lot.) And also when that stopped nearly immediately the second they were away from the adults perpetuating it. I don't know man but I feel like staying in a pattern one was raised in when it's never been challenged says a lot less about a person than how they behave and adapt once it's gone.

Is it because the baby nun who was 500% paranoia by volume between her hallucinations and her recent trauma she can't properly remember and having been raised to be extremely secretive at all times Or Else wasn't ecstatic about being romantic or bffs with someone who she knows killed and ate one of the only other friends she had in cold blood while also dealing with constant attempts on her life? Because even with all that she was honestly still pretty soft with Ianthe. Denying being friends in words doesn't change that she was relying on Ianthe and trusting her even more than she did their God and being fairly intimate with her. Actions should speak louder than words.

Like genuinely, why do you think "we're not supposed to" like or care about or sympathize with Ianthe, or that Harrow is objectively terrible start to finish? I don't see it.

A big reason I ignore all the meta from Tamsyn Muir about The Locked Tomb is that her values system about some of her characters seems deeply at odds with their characterization in-book.

Muir clearly loathes Ianthe, and yet HTN shows an Ianthe who is deeply insecure, scared, and desperately lonely. Yeah, she killed her Cav and a few other people. This is quite bad. I do not think Ianthe is a good person. But I don't find her irredeemable like Muir says.

Hitting on Harrow isn't ideal, but also Harrow is her only friend and flirtation is one of the few ways Ianthe knows to show her companionship. Throughout HTN, Ianthe seems to be trying to make friends, to be helpful, and is rebuffed at every turn by Harrow.

In contrast, while Harrow is less evil than many of the other characters, she is clearly a profoundly horrible person. She is mean and cruel to those around her, she has made Gideon's life absolutely miserable for 16ish years, she rebuffs basically every single offer of help and friendship anyone but Gideon ever shows her in either of the two series (and quite meanly; basically anything anyone ever gets from her is some verbose equivalent of "go fuck yourself".)

But we spend all this time in her head, so we know it's because she's scared and insecure and doesn't know how to handle it. So very much of her behavior is forgiven by Muir and by the audience because of this. A sizeable portion of the fanbase seems to be mad at John for trying to tell her to get more sleep, or to try doing something relaxing (make soup), or even to ask other people for help. Yes, you cannot will your way out of depression, but "try to get more sleep" and "do soothing things" are basically foremost of any serious advice for how to deal with it.

John doesn't know why she's been not getting enough sleep. But he's also a deeply fucked-up person. And yet he's trying with Harrow. Badly, clumsily, but trying. He doesn't really know why she's been on such edge and miserable. But Harrow never tells him. She has John and Ianthe (and probably Mercymorn and Augustine, although they're even more fucked up) she could have tried asking for help, and refuses.

But, Harrow is the protagonist, and we see inside her head, and she's not willing to actually murder Gideon, and she thinks murdering 200 children was bad, actually. So we're expected to sympathize with her.

Don't get me wrong, I sympathize with her. I want her to be better. I like fucked-up protagonists who aren't great people.

But do not, for one second, suggest that Harrow is not one of the worst human beings in this series (behind John, Cytharea, Mercymorn, Augustine, and Ianthe, in roughly that order). She brings an untold amount of her misery upon herself by being deliberately, not prickly, but just so. fucking. awful.

[jonnywaistcoat]

What’s your opinion on the contrast between “silly” and “serious” spaces? Do you think people can have very serious interpretations about a genuine piece of media and also be goofy about it? I’m asking this particularly because I’ve seen people in the Magnus podcast fandoms fight about people “misinterpreting” characters you, Alex, and the many other authors have written. Are you okay with the blorbofication or do you really wish the media you’ve written would be “taken seriously” 100% of the time?

And follow up question, what do you think about the whole “it’s up to the reader (or in some cases, listener) to make their own conclusions and interpretations and that does not make them wrong”, versus the “it was written this way because the author intended it this way, and we should respect that” argument?

This is a question I've given a lot of thought over the years, to the point where I don't know how much I can respond without it becoming a literal essay. But I'll try.

My main principle for this stuff boils roughly down to: "The only incorrect way to respond to art is to try and police the responses of others." Art is an intensely subjective, personal thing, and I think a lot of online spaces that engage with media are somewhat antithetical to what is, to me, a key part of it, which is sitting alone with your response to a story, a character, a scene or an image and allowing yourself to explore it's effect on you. To feel your feelings and think about them in relation to the text.

Now, this is not to say that jokes and goofiness about a piece of art aren't fucking great. I love to watch The Thing and drink in the vibes or arctic desolation and paranoia, or think about the picture it paints of masculinity as a sublimely lonely thing where the most terrible threat is that of an imposed, alien intimacy. And that actually makes me laugh even more the jokey shitpost "Do you think the guys in The Thing ever explored each other's bodies? Yeah but watch out". Silly and serious don't have to be in opposition, and I often find the best jokes about a piece of media come from those who have really engaged with it.

And in terms of interpreting characters? Interpreting and responding to fictional characters is one of the key functions of stories. They're not real people, there is no objective truth to who they are or what they do or why they do it. They are artificial constructs and the life they are given is given by you, the reader/listener/viewer, etc. Your interpetation of them can't be wrong, because your interpretation of them is all that there is, they have no existence outside of that.

And obviously your interpretation will be different to other people's, because your brain, your life, your associations - the building blocks from which the voices you hear on a podcast become realised people in your mind - are entirely your own. Thus you cannot say anyone else's is wrong. You can say "That's not how it came across to me" or "I have a very different reading of that character", but that's it. I suppose if someone is fundamentally missing something (like saying "x character would never use violence" when x character strangles a man to death in chapter 4) you could say "I think that's a significant misreading of the text", but that's only to be reserved for if you have the evidence to back it up and are feeling really savage.

I think this is one of the things that saddens me a bit about some aspects of fandom culture - it has a tendency to police or standardise responses or interpretations, turning them from personal experiences to be explored into public takes to be argued over. It also has the occasional moralistic strain, and if there's one thing I wish I could carve in stone on every fan space it's that Your Responses to a Piece of Art Carry No Intrinsic Moral Weight.

As for authorial intention, that's a simpler one: who gives a shit? Even the author doesn't know their own intentions half the time. There is intentionality there, of course, but often it's a chaotic and shifting mix of theme and story and character which rarely sticks in the mind in the exact form it had during writing. If you ask me what my intention was in a scene from five years ago, I'll give you an answer, but it will be my own current interpretation of a half-remembered thing, altered and warped by my own changing relationship to the work and five years of consideration and change within myself. Or I might not remember at all and just have a guess. And I'm a best case scenario because I'm still alive. Thinking about a writers possible or stated intentions is interesting and can often lead to some compelling discussion or examination, but to try and hold it up as any sort of "truth" is, to my mind, deeply misguided.

Authorial statements can provide interesting context to a work, or suggest possible readings, but they have no actual transformative effect on the text. If an author says of a book that they always imagined y character being black, despite it never being mentioned in the text, that's interesting - what happens if we read that character as black? How does it change our responses to the that character actions and position? How does it affect the wider themes and story? It doesn't, however, actually make y character black because in the text itself their race remains nonspecific. The author lost the ability to make that change the moment it was published. It's not solely theirs anymore.

So yeah, that was a fuckin essay. In conclusion, serious and silly are both good, but serious does not mean yelling at other people about "misinterpretations", it means sitting with your personal explorations of a piece of art. All interpretations are valid unless they've legitimately missed a major part of the text (and even then they're still valid interpretations of whatever incomplete or odd version of the text exists inside that person's brain). Authorial intent is interesting to think about but ultimately unknowable, untrustworthy and certainly not a source of truth. Phew.

Oh, and blorbofication is fine, though it does to my mind sometimes pair with a certain shallowness to one's exploration of the work in question.

[captain-astors]

Finished up my attempt at Deuce within @where-does-the-heart-lie's fighting game AU! Feeling a little iffy about it but I might've just been staring at this for too damn long. Anyways thoughts, symbolism explanation, and sketches I made in the attempt bellow the cut.

Okay! So in general I worked with a rule of 2's when it came to Deuce's hearts with the exception of his camera, but that's supposed to pair with the pen with the little heart cap, I just didn't remember to keep that in my final drawings somewhere. Trying to strike a balance between "Just a guy" and "fun stylized outfit" was hard and I don't think I quite got it, but it was enjoyable nonetheless!

Heart glasses- Representative of how he loves observing the world and aspires to adventure through it. The cracked lens represents how the damage he's received from people he loved has caused him to look at others cynically at times. Meanwhile the unshattered lens sort of represents his tendency to look at those who earn his love with extreme levels of internal praise, half of Ace's first novel is just him waxing poetic about how lovely Ace is and I think that's hilarious.

Hearts on the gloves- He shows his love for the world and for people through the writing he does with his hands! But they're somewhat damaged because they've been utilized for the medicinal legacy that was forced upon him.

Heart on the camera/pen- A specific love for journalism and writing and telling a story, credits to Whery for the first one.

Spade on the shirt- Not technically a heart but it's a little play on how he keeps the Spades close to his heart/tends to be kind of pokey if you try to get close.

Spade/heart on the back of the shirt- Symbolic of the whole life-devoting love within him, so it's large, but it's kept guarded and tethered by the camera strap and can only be seen beneath a layer and if he trusts you enough to turn his back. It's mostly upside-down to look more like a heart if I'm honest, but that as well as that it's on his back and so guarded is all representative of how the family that he presumably once loved shamed and pressured him, making a sort of "weight on his back". It's spade shaped because that's who his devotion and love belongs to, but also when counted with the other one, Deuce!

One of my scrapped ideas was having the coat be a doctor's coat with the only hearts on it being scorched edges because something something fire set him free but he still uses his medicinal abilities to benefit people in his new life, but I couldn't get it to look right so I went with the summery looking thing he's wearing now. It's fine but it kind of lacks a personality, I think that's the main thing I'd try to revise if I redid this but I've already overthought it to hell so. Another day.

Ace in Dr. Robotnik's outfit from the sonic movie is there for facial reference and emotional support I guess, I made that a while ago.

And in one last vaguely related tangent, yours truly has a very distinctly heart-shaped birthmark on my foot. It symbolizes that I'm tired. (Jokes aside I think it's cool, afab actually stood for Assigned Fighting game character At Birth)

[leononchalant]

The Idea of Curly Being "Too Nice"

cw// sexual harassment, mouthwashing spoilers

I always find it interesting to see people on Twitter (and apparently Tiktok) claim that Curly is an awful guy who is possibly worse than Jimmy. However, something about their relationship reminds me of people excusing the actions of others due to their mental illnesses which is something that I am also guilty of doing in real life.

This isn't to demonize anyone for mental illnesses as I have suffered from them as well, and I could be reading too much into this. Curly seems to downplay Jimmy's actions because of his desire to see the best in his friend who'm he knows isn't the most mentally sound. This ultimately led to his dismissal of Anya's concerns. Jimmy consistently refused to take his psych evaluations seriously, and Curly attempted to do it for Anya. He tries to reassure her that Jimmy is a nice guy despite his repeated actions. Even Jimmy claiming to be aroused by cartoon horses can easily be overlooked as funny or nonsensical when in reality, it is sexual harassment towards Anya.

Curly opening up to Jimmy seems like an attempt to establish a point of relation with a friend that he sees skipping his psyche evals. There's a repeating issue of Jimmy doing something and Curly playing it down. Their friendship is similar to the mouthwash that they're transporting which is supposed to help you, but the sugar content offsets the benefits, eventually doing more harm than good. Curly is a good captain, but he becomes ineffective with Jimmy by his side. 

I feel as though people tend to flatten Anya's character as well. I don't believe she is the type to wish for Curly's demise seeing that she mentions how people's worst moments don't make them monsters (this is a layered line from her character imo, but I will leave it for another post). Curly is still definitely in the wrong, but I don't think he should be dragged to the same level as Jimmy.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Okay, so, there's one thing that I'm kind of tired of beating around the bush with white fans about, and it's this: if you pretend to "ignore" race in OFMD, you will miss a lot of what the story is trying to tell you.

Now, I do not truly believe that race is something you can ignore in a story. I just don't think it's possible, and when you try, what you wind up with is something like the conservative worldview of "not seeing color." Trying to ignore race will make you sound racist and ignore important racialized themes.

You can't understand Stede's need for character growth at the beginning of the show if you just focus on how he's "cringe" instead. When Stede makes his crew members of color serve them at dinner when the English board, this is gross, and their faces tell us exactly how they feel about it. Stede unlearning his biases here isn't subtle (guy who called him and Pete "fucking racists" I love you forever), and learning to take all of his crew members seriously as fully actualized people, moving away from the sort of Kindergarten-teacher behavior at the start to truly valuing them as people and taking their input and suggestions, it's an important aspect. Stede asking Abshir for intel at the party isn't just funny, it's also proof he's learned to see value in people in positions like Abshir's.

You can't understand the motivations behind Ed's actions, especially the violent ones, if you ignore the racist overtones. Ed is not a randomly violent person - he gets angry at a captain for calling him a "rich donkey," and if you think it's unreasonable for a brown man to want to get revenge on a white man for calling him that? Then fuck I'm glad you can't see the conversations I have with my other black friends, man. Ed's anger and frustration at the party aren't just because he fucked up with some spoons, lol, you can't get it unless you realize he's the only brown guest in that room. Yeah, he's ignoring Stede's advice, but he's immediately under a pressure Stede never has been. Ed's wanted posters in s2, too, rely on heavily caricaturizing Jewish features to make him look grotesque and monstruous. We're supposed to be horrified by that aspect.

And, yeah, when we ignore the racist tones to Izzy's behavior, I think that's undermining an important aspect of who he is as an antagonistic character. Him buying Ed from the English should feel like a gross violation, because it is. When he sits in front of the crew eating and making Fang and Ivan serve him, I think it's a pretty obvious parallel to how the crew members of color were similarly insulted in the pilot. It's impossible to ignore race in the way he dehumanizes Ed and tries to force him back into a caricature of behavior he hates and is horrified by - when he calls Ed a "wild dog" in s2, if that doesn't cause a visceral reaction of disgust in you, I dunno what to tell you. This doesn't mean that Izzy is irredeemable - just as Stede wasn't - but it does mean that racist biases are things Izzy had to unlearn.

OFMD so often takes so much care with how its characters of color are depicted. We get thoughtful, relatable moments (those French boat people getting humiliated and setting their boat on fire after they'd tried to touch Ed's beard is so satisfying, guys) and excellent, supportive friendships between men of color. The characters of color on OFMD are clean, smart, respected, and it's wonderful. And just because these things aren't always relatable to you specifically doesn't mean they're not important parts of the story.

[northopalshore]

Northopalshore's

24/25 Solar Return

Observations

It's my birthday! (21 dec), I thought about writing predictions for myself based on my SRC every year just as a marker that the year is ending & a new one will commence shortly. Are you finally the person you've been striving to be?

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

𝄞 Capricorn rising (17°)

I'll be busy this year, focused on my work and goals. I'll aim to be very productive this year! To be more responsible & act more mature. Taking in a lot of responsibilities. Though, with that Leo degree I may be gaining a lot of attention for my work or competence. An "examplary" character.

𝄞 Pluto (0°) & venus (15°) in 1st H aquarius

Another glow up! I could lose a lot of visible weight this year, and I could refine my aesthetics or perfect my makeup as well. Since they're in aquarius, it's likely I'll be standing out with the way I look or dress this year. I've been really itching to get a tattoo too. I don't give a fuck that we aren't supposed to lol.

𝄞 Aquarius 2nd H, Saturn in 2nd H/Uranus in 4th H

Venus aquarius (gemini) square uranus Taurus (aquarius °)

• unusual spending habits (i.e being very stingy with something yet spending a lot on other stuff)

• finances could be quite unpredictable this year i.e I won't be able to expect when I need to use money/ unexpected events. I'll could earn a lot of money for something unexpected, or just work odd jobs/online, by doing something I don't usually do or have never expected to do

• stable or restrained income

• dressing differently than others around me

• people talking about how I look very 'unique'

𝄞 Venus 1st house square uranus in 5th house

An unexpected relationship? Or an unexpected love interest. I could be attracting a lot of borderline unwanted romantic attention. (Venus in aquarius squaring uranus in taurus)

𝄞 Fama (10° Capricorn), saturn (13° Aries) in 2nd H pisces

• gain more attention through aesthetics

• getting attention for care in expenses

• being frugal/ disciplined with finances

• spending/earning money on/from esoteric stuff

• hard time controlling money ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ

• if I start offering my services, I might get a lot of traction/clients, but it might be more than I can handle if I don't put up any limits/restrictions

𝄞 Neptune (27° gemini) in 3rd H pisces

• talking on social media

• speaking with a dreamy gentle tone

• I might lose my train of thought quite often TT

• talking about esoteric knowledge/ metaphysical

• bursts of creative writing

𝄞 Neptune (27° gemini) trine mars in 7th house

Working on or creating art, music, writing with a partner. Could also mean learning or talking about the occult with someone closely. Could be creative projects with partners/coworkers/friends. Working well in collaborative projects.

𝄞 North node (2°taurus), chiron (19°) in 3rd H aries

• focus on communication/learning

• communication & mental fatigue

• feeling burdened by the amount of work that has to done

• feels like I have to juggle my intellect between a lot of events

•. feeling rushed with projects or events concerning writing or speaking

• having a lot of ideas, offering a service related to writing, thinking, communicating (literally signaling that I'll be starting private readings lmaoo)

𝄞 4th H in aries, mars (r) in 7th H

• living situation feels rushed, combative, competitive

• independent home life, living alone, switching housemates

• arguments amongst the people I live with, being outside more often

• visits to a significant person (?), constant moving around

• visiting people I work with /clubs/organizations a lot & being at home less

• reflecting approach to relationships

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ .₊๋‧₊

𝄞 Uranus retrograde (23° Aquarius) in 5th H taurus

• rethinking what brings excitement to me

• thinking of picking up strange hobbies

• unexpected love interests

𝄞 Jupiter retrograde (14°taurus) in 5th H gemini

• reshaping what truly brings value and joy especially in love life, being more careful with love interests

• getting a lot of new experiences

𝄞 6th H gemini, mercury in 11th H:

• making a lot of new friends online

• popularity amongst coworkers

• gaining a lot of diverse friends

• doing daily activities w friends

• talking a lot during work

• creative collaborations

• working online more, posting more

𝄞 Groom (4° cancer) retrograde in 6th H cancer

Working with future spouse but it also counts if I'm doing something related to him on a daily basis. In my case, I think I'll be writing about him but also longing for him (hah!). Longing to be next to him. Even if I meet him this year, I don't think we'll be able to spend much time face to face with eachother because of distance or work. Our routines may clash.

𝄞 Descendant in cancer (17° leo), moon in 8th H

• feeling safe & comfort within relationships

• harmonious relationships

• changes in relationships

• possible crushes, secret relationships

𝄞 Briede (8° Scorpio) in Sagittarius 11th house squaring moon (8° Scorpio) in Virgo 8th house

I could learn (realize) something quite hard about my love life (more specifically life as a wife). Perhaps it will be harder than I thought it would be. I might have to sacrifice a lot for it.

𝄞 Briede (8° scorpio) conjunct mercury in 11th house

I could be learning more about myself as a wife online, or through purchasing esoteric services. People could also gossip about me or my relationship this year. Could be online, could be my social circle as well. However, it's likely I'll just be the one yapping about the Briede (19029) asteroid/persona chart a lot next year.

𝄞 Mars (4° cancer) retrograde in 7th H leo

Getting secret admirers, my love life could be quite difficult. Perhaps my future spouse and I will be butting heads or have a few arguments. However, since it's retrograde I think rather than being mad at eachother we'll be frustrated with our situation. That is, if we do "meet".

On the other hand, it also means indirect confessions, or having to take the leadership role/compromise a lot in joint collaborative work i.e assignments.

𝄞 Mars opposite pluto in 1st house

If this concerns my FS, we could have disagreements on whether our relationship should be public or not, our relationship could also effect our images greatly whether good or bad, or both.

If not, then this means I'll be taking on more work than I'm supposed to this year, finding it difficult to let things go as is, or some group members may be rather negligent of their tasks, forcing me to decide what to do.

𝄞 7th house ruler in 8th house

A secret relationship? Something scandalous could be happening in my love life. Since it's Cancer/moon, I could be keeping a lot of my feelings about this person a secret. Our relationship could be kept a secret as well. Could be a karmic relationship.

𝄞 8th H in leo, sun in 12th H (29°leo)

• nightmares could be possible perhaps due to exhaustion

• deep introspection of self

• reshaping how I attract attention

• choosing to be alone, do my own thing

• having to keep a lot of secrets

• I might travel on my own this year

𝄞 Moon (8° Scorpio), vertex (15° gemini) in 8th H virgo

• the way I think & process emotions will be transformed

• fated transformation/death/rebirth

• feelings are more intense this year

• lots of fast, sudden, "unexpected" new beginnings

𝄞 9th H in virgo, mercury in 11th H

• travelling with friends

• travelling for studies

• documenting travels

• planning travels

• working with friends

𝄞 POF (26°Taurus) in 9th H virgo

Perhaps I'll have good luck with my assignments. I'll be very focused and lucky when it comes to my studies. I'll be very hard working, and that hard work will be paid off.

𝄞 Lilith (19° Libra) 9th H in libra

There may be some issues with traveling alone. I might have to be moving around alone a lot even if I'm not comfortable with it. There might be some disagreements or slight dissatisfaction when it comes to studies or friendships.

𝄞 10th H in libra (23°aquarius ), venus in 1st H

• harmonious work

• popularity in work

• self focused work

• attracting more attention in general

• something about my relationship/love life could be highlighted or very prominent, a relationship could be revealed as well

• being an "IT" girl

• working on social media? Doing something I've never done before, getting attention for it

𝄞 Union (24° pisces) & Juno (15° gemini) Scorpio in 10th house:

Working with future spouse. Meeting through my work..? Meeting through my blog? Lmao. Honey are you reading this?! I don't see myself working with him on his career (at least not yet), perhaps he'll be reading my posts (writing) online and not notice it's me at first. This makes the most sense to me at the moment but it's just a theory though.

Note: SRC union conjuncts my natal union, SRC Pluto conjunct natal Juno, SRC Uranus conjunct natal Briede in the 3rd house, SRC Chiron (retrograde ) conjunct natal Boda.

There seems to be something significant about my love life but it looks like I'll also be rather weary of it at first. Perhaps I'll be contemplating on what I truly need or believe about my FS, things may feel rather rushed, and I might start having second thoughts about how things will progress. I think so especially because both SRC Chiron & natal Boda are in Aries. A lot of second-guessing may occur. A lot of procrastinating for some reason.

𝄞 Vesta (24° pisces) Libra 10th house:

I'll be making a lot of new connections, friends and relationships. Most of my new friends/acquaintances are ( and will be) from different states & even countries. Our relationship will likely be very harmonious or mostly harmonious. We will share the same goal or drive. Meeting new acquaintances through my blog perhaps?

𝄞 11th house in scorio, pluto in 1st house

• posting more online

• being more popular online

• transforming online identity

• transformation social circles

Something shocking about me could be revealed to my close circles, or even on my blog. The blog might come under scrutiny this year as well, with people suddenly flocking in to either disagree with my posts or just people looking into my blog more (usually with an intent to dig some dirt or information about me). This could also cause a lot of discomfort or discourse trying to continue something I've been doing or even cause a shift in the way I approach something.

• could be related to my face reveal hoho

𝄞 12th H in Sagittarius, jupiter retrograde in 5th H

Education being draining or tiring. I could be rather burdened by school work or assignments, perhaps I'll be doing most of my work alone or may not truly feel connected to my work. Uni life will grant me a lot of opportunities to do things I wouldn't normally do. Perhaps I'll have a lot of fun doing assignments & learn to love my life here.

I'm also really close to the capital city of my country so I'll be able to go to many, manyy events in & out of uni on my own. Since it's in retrograde it's still going to be quite overwhelming. A little bit of a culture shock for me as well.

𝄞 Boda (24° ) conjunct Eros (26°) in 12th H Sagittarius

• thinking/dreaming of marriage feeling more connected to the future, being more laid back about love, marriage, and connections, going with the flow

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⭑

Thank you for reading ily!! ♡

@northopalshore

@northopalshore SRC 2024 all rights reserved.

[taliesin-the-bored]

Tag game: tag nine people you’d like to know better.

Tagged by: @oneshoulderangel (Thank you for tagging me!)

Last song: At the moment, I have "Losing Your Memory" by Alan Star stuck in my head, which I suppose makes it my current song, not my last song. Hm. I get songs stuck in my head very easily, but the last one I had there for a significant amount of time was a mashup of different language versions of "Les Rois du Monde" for about a week. "Lehetsz Király", the Magyar version, is probably my favorite of them. It's worth a listen.

Currently watching: Normally, the answer would be "random mostly terrible old movies/shows" or "nothing much", but I currently have a hyperfixation on the musical Roméo et Juliette and have been watching it in multiple languages. (Thus, the song).

Three ships: This is hard. Maybe as a result of being on the ace and aro spectrums, I'm more likely to care about which characters are interacting than whether it's romantic or platonic. Here goes:

Kedivere/Bedikay. It can be romantic, platonic, or queerplatonic, but whichever way, I'm here for it. I probably spend too much time thinking about how in Cullwch and Olwen, when Cai gets mad at Arthur and marches out, Bedwyr stays behind, keeps acting like nothing's happened, and isn't the one to avenge Cai's death. The feeling of betrayal on both sides has a lot of unexplored potential. And the version where Bedivere dies and Kay fights to bring his body back safely while mortally wounded himself... And the version where Bedivere survives Camlann and Kay isn't said to fight in it, so they might be left together after their world has fallen apart...

Platonically or queerplatonically, Galahad and the Grail Heroine. I really like the tragic Grail Quest friendships, but I like theirs most, maybe because there's something weird and otherworldly about them both. I like it when characters are strange and endearing and doomed by the narrative.

Ever since reading John Matthews' retelling, which I read before the original, I've had a soft spot for Caradoc and Guinier. The Story of Caradoc is very disturbing, and I have some major qualms with Caradoc over a detail Matthews cut out, but all the same, there's a reason these two have the best track record with magical fidelity tests. Each of them would go to the ends of the earth for the other, and together, they're stronger than any curse.

Favorite Color: Blue, particularly royal blue and some teals.

Currently consuming: Black licorice with chocolate.

First ship: This is a hard one, since through elementary and most of middle school, I tended to go along with whatever I thought the author's intentions were and was more likely to unship something. The first non-endgame ship I got invested in was Sonya/Nikolai in War and Peace. I didn't like Nikolai, but Sonya did, and she was my favorite character, so I wanted her to be happy. The first non-canon couple I thought was meant to be together was also in War and Peace: Marya Bolkonskaya and Julie Karagina. My eighth grade self did not think their letters could be interpreted platonically. I still don't.

Last movie: If the musical doesn't count, the last movie I watched was Quest for Camelot, which was awful. Though not Robot Monster-level bad, Robot Monster has an elegance to its simplicity which Quest for Camelot lacks.

Currently working on: Various fics, most of them Arthuriana or CotRK-related (I am woefully behind on the Badfic Bingo), and (theoretically) an epic-style poem, though I haven't gotten much of it written for quite a while now.

Tagging: @gawrkin, @emperorcandy, @wildbasil, @gorewound, @knightsofsomethingorother, @ladyminaofcamelot, @tasosotaso, @amashelle, @gingersnaptaff (I have no idea who's been tagged so far, apart from the people on @oneshoulderangel's post, so I apologize for any multi-tags)

[applestorms]

ok actually fuck it i'm talking about this too. so, the ivantill kiss, right? there are a lot of beautiful stylistic choices that make that scene just incredible, but the one thing i'd like to zoom in on in particular for this post relates to the 180 degree rule specifically.

if you're not familiar with filmmaking, essentially-- the 180 degree rule sets up a line that the camera typically is not supposed to cross. the clearest example of this in the case of scenes where you have two characters in a room talking to one another. for the sake of smoother continuity, you generally want to stick to having dude A on the left and dude B on the right, otherwise it feels wonky or gets confusing to follow, both as an audience and as an editor. this is particularly true when you're doing some kind of shot/reverse shot conversation between two characters and need to ensure that it Feels like they're consistently looking at one another in the same direction, even if they aren't actually both visible in the same shot. basically, the 180 degree rule is meant to help keep your left & right from getting mixed up while filming, and to make sure that the physical space both on- and off-screen are clear to the audience.

in round 6, most of the shots we get of ivan & till while they're on the actual performing stage are close-ups, though we do get a couple of establishing shots. early on we have this very quick frame:

which is very quickly followed up by a close up of till's face, and then a medium close up also displaying his name in the background.

the majority of shots that take place in this setting (not flashbacks) stick to similar shot sizes, putting emphasis on till himself rather than the mostly empty background and stage.

ivan is presented very similarly. we begin with a shot of his feet as he walks up to the mic:

and then a couple extreme close ups of his face, both from the side and the front to emphasize his mouth and eyes as he begins singing.

i think it's this side view in particular that really helps set up the space in terms of how ivan is positioned to the left of till, especially since we also see till from the same side earlier. note the similarities:

we also often see them positioned like this in the flashbacks, ivan on the right and till on the left, a good example being when ivan licks the blood of his face like a fucking freak.

later on, we also get this fairly short establishing shot of the stage from the back, again setting up just how empty and vast this place is:

(this one is actually a bit odd since we're viewing them from the back. bit of a teaser, i guess? the importance of this will be made clear shortly.)

POINT IS. in the minutes leading up to the kiss, we have a very clear line established, wherein till is always on the left and ivan always on the right. a couple flashbacks may buck this trend, but this is consistent for all the shots that we see of them on the actual stage.

notably, though, we very rarely ever actually see them in the same frame in this setting-- again, only in flashbacks, or the extreme wide shown above do we actually see them together.

this changes as soon as ivan decides to start walking towards him:

but still, we haven't crossed the line. always, it's till on the left, ivan on the right

UNTIL.

BAM. it switches.

why? so glad you asked, i have a couple theories. it all comes down to two big points: making the scene more jarring + audience perspective.

in terms of the first point... till is clearly caught off guard by this move, so literally jumping the line right at the moment when their lips touch is a great way of showing how ivan has also just crossed a line, emotionally. it is also, again, somewhat off-putting and confusing. even if you don't fully consciously notice the switch, it takes a moment to reorient yourself within the scene and realize what's happening. it's a very subtle move, but it really emphasizes that OH SHIT moment in a fantastic way.

in terms of audience perspective... alien stage is a story about a bunch of 20 somethings (and one 30 year old) singing and then getting murdered on stage. it is performative to its core, not to mention incredibly voyeuristic. on a meta level, as human viewers, we are to some degree put into the same position as the in-universe aliens, watching and delighting and being horrified over the exact same performance as them. in the earlier shots for this video, when we see ivan and till from the front, we are watching the show from the seat of the audience (which is, notably, not especially present/visible in this round, in comparison to some of the previous ones).

by flipping around to the other side, we are also seeing the details of this moment from a much more intimate perspective. note how the light shines behind them in this moment, particularly in conjunction with this next frame:

ivan wants this to be a moment special to the two of them, not something done for the sake of adding to the performance. so he blocks off the spotlight, and angles their faces away from where (presumably) the majority of the audience is. he can only get so much privacy when they're right smack in the middle of this great big empty stage, but he takes what he can get.

this also helps him get a better look at the scores behind them:

and it's perhaps interesting to note that after this, we jump right back over the line-- specifically, right at the moment ivan is shot.

the fact that the choking itself is also prominently displayed with this orientation (till left, ivan right) seems like additional support for the idea that ivan was doing that for the Performance and the audience.

especially since, when he takes his hands away, they're right back in that ivan left/till right orientation, on the more intimate/genuine side of the line.

this all ends off with another interesting perspective switch, one that is so quick you almost don't even get the chance to notice it. as soon as ivan hits the floor, we move from the usual left-side looking in angle from before to one that puts till in the foreground.

a shift from a POV where ivan dominates, to one where till does, only after ivan passes away. this shit is rich, fellas.

[love-takes-work]

I've seen a fair number of people interpret Rebecca Sugar's (and the Crew's) decision to put Ruby in a dress as subversive, and I want to discuss why that feels like a clear miss to me.

Every time--every single time--I've heard Rebecca Sugar talk about the queer relationships on this show, it comes with this expression of wholesomeness, and often glazed with a sheen of wistfulness, flavored something like "I needed this as a child and young person, and I didn't have it." Much of Rebecca Sugar's work to bring this wedding (and other unapologetic queer relationships) to the screen was framed as an emergency--as in, we HAVE to get this out there for those kids we used to be, because we know they're drowning.

Yes, it's funny sometimes when people make jokes about Sugar deliberately "adding more gay" or "making it gayer" as a big eff-you to the people who spoke against it, but that doesn't sit right from where I'm standing. It took so much strength (and resulted in so much battle damage) to fight that fight, yes. But from everything I can see from the interviews and conversations I've seen and read, this wasn't served up in a "ha-HA, take THAT!" kind of way. These characters having these kinds of relationships should have been a non-issue, and the fact that their very wholesome kids'-show wedding and very sweet kiss and very adorable love for each other was seen as Political when it should have been just two characters in love is so sad to me.

I've seen dozens of people suggest that Ruby is in a dress and Sapphire is in a suit "to fuck with the bigoted censors in other countries" or "to give the finger to gender roles," but again, I think it is simpler and sweeter than that. Rebecca's said that Ruby in a dress is how she feels in a dress. Celebration and exploration of feminine-coded stuff felt wrong to Rebecca for a long time, like it wasn't hers, because she wasn't really a woman and didn't want it forced on her. As a result she was robbed of all the beauty that should have been a non-issue, from what TV shows and toys she was supposed to enjoy as a kid to what kind of person she was supposed to marry and what she should wear as an adult.

Ruby never got a choice about how she looked really. Once she got to choose her presentation for a significant event, this is what she chose. It means so much more to see that than to construct it primarily as a reactionary measure, as if it would somehow foil the sinister censors in more homophobic countries (who, incidentally, are not therefore forced to show Ruby in a dress even though they tried to hide that Ruby was a "she" or that she was in a romantic relationship with another "she"; y'all, they just don't show the episode).

We see plenty of other examples of gender-role-related expectations being casually stepped on and squashed, like when they took the trouble to give traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine "clothes" to some watermelons to make the audience think there was a husband and wife watermelon only to have the wife be the warrior and the husband stay home with the child. With stuff like that, yeah, sure, maybe it's designed to make you think "oh isn't that very feminist of them!" Or maybe it's more "well why do I see this as a 'reversal' when it's just a thing that happened?" This show is full of ladyish beings who fight and have power. And as for Steven. . . .

Nobody has negative reactions onscreen (or even particularly confused reactions) when Steven wears traditionally feminine clothes, and it is (of course) also not presented as a "boy in a dress gag"--it's not supposed to be funny. When they go all in slathering Steven in literal princess tropes throughout the final act of Season 5, we understand that it's because the powerful Diamonds expect him to be Pink Diamond, not because the show is trying to girlify him or embarrass him or even make the audience think positive thoughts about boys in girls' clothes. It's more neutral than that in my interpretation: "these are literally just pieces of cloth, and while some of them have meaning, they don't inherently have a gender." I don't see this as transgressive. It's just in a world where putting on what you want to wear doesn't HAVE to be a political statement. (Though obviously it CAN be, and plenty of people wear a variety of clothes as a fuck-you to whoever they want to give the finger to. I just don't see that as happening here.)

Don't get me wrong; Rebecca Sugar certainly knew about the politics (intimately) and has lived at many of their intersections. She was not ignorant of how queer people are seen in this world. She was silenced as a bisexual person because her identity supposedly didn't matter if she was with a man and planned to be with that same man forever. She was shunted into "omg a woman did this!" categories over and over again, which she wore uneasily as a nonbinary person while accepting that part of who we are is how the world sees us. But what is it like if everything someone like her embraces is seen as a statement synonymous with "fuck you" to someone else?

She is married to a person who happens to be a man and happens to be Black. Her relationship isn't a "statement" about either of those aspects of his existence; her love is simply something that is. She is Jewish working in a society that's largely Christian. Her cultural perspective to NOT center her cartoon around Christian holidays and Christian morals; her choices to make an alternate world in this specific way is simply something that is. Her queer perspective as a nonbinary bisexual person has helped inform the Gems' radical philosophy of "what if we learned to explore and define ourselves instead of doing the 'jobs' we're assigned and being told it's our nature?" Her decision to include queer people in a broadly queer cartoon isn't designed PRIMARILY as a battle against baddies, or to drown out all the relentless straightness, or to deliciously get our queer little paws all over their kids' TV. It's an act of love.

So this is just to say that though I DO understand that sometimes subversion and intentional transgression are very necessary, I do not think that's the HEART of what's going on at this Gem wedding. We got a wholesome marriage scene between two of the most lovely little flawed-but-still-somehow-perfect characters, and I very much want to see their choices as being about them. About how Ruby feels in a dress. About how Sapphire feels about not having to always wear a dress. About them incorporating a symbol of their union into their separate lives so they can have some independence in their togetherness. About them celebrating their love by letting Steven wipe his schmaltz all over them.

There are many choices in the show that ARE carefully constructed to counter existing narratives, you know, giving the Crystal Gems' only boy all the healing, pink, flower imagery; having a single-sex species that's ladyish with all the members going by "she"; featuring many nurturing male characters who cry and cook and raise kids without mothers; pairing multiple fighty ladies with gentler guys; and importantly, intentionally loading up the show with stories, characters, and imagery any gender will find appealing despite being tasked with expectations to pander to the preteen boy demographic.

But it's very important to me that the inclusion of queer characters and the featuring of their choices be seen primarily as a loving act, and way way less of a "lol screw the bigots." I want our stories to be about us. Yes, I know it's a necessary evil that sometimes our stories are also about fighting Them. But every time I see someone say they put Ruby in the dress to "piss off the homophobes" or "stump the censors" I feel a little gross. Like the time I picked out an outfit I loved and my mom said I only dressed in such an obnoxious way to upset her, and I was baffled because my aesthetic choices, my opinions, my choices had nothing to do with her. Yet they were framed like I chose these clothes primarily to cause some kind of petty harm to her, when not only was it not true but I was not even that kind of person who would gloat over intentionally irritating someone.

The queerness of this show isn't a sneaky, underhanded act trying above all to upset a bigot or celebrate someone's homophobic fury. It lives for itself. Its existence is about itself. It's so we can see ourselves in a show, and it's so people who aren't queer or don't have those experiences can see that we exist, we participate, we want very similar things, and definitely are focusing way more about celebrating our love at our own weddings rather than relishing the thought of bigots tearing their hair out and hating us.

It's dangerous to turn every act of our love into a deliberate movement in a battle strategy when their weddings just get to be weddings.

I think there’s this idea that that [queer characters] is something that applies or should be only discussed with adults that is completely wrong. And I think when you realize that talking to kids about heteronormativity is just like air that you breathe all the time, it’s kind of amazing that that is not true in any other capacity. I think if you wait to tell kids, to tell queer youth that it matters how they feel or that they are even a person, then it’s going to be too late! You have to talk about it—you have to let it be what it gets to be for everyone. I mean, like, I think about, a lot of times I think about sort of fairy tales and Disney movies and the way that love is something that is ALWAYS discussed with children. And I think also there’s this idea that’s like, oh, we should represent, you know, queer characters that are adults, because there are adults that are queer, and you should know that’s something that is happening in the adult world, but that’s not how those films or those stories are told to children. You’re told that YOU should dream about love, about this fulfilling love that YOU’RE going to have. […] The Prince and Snow White are not like someone’s PARENTS. They’re something you want to be, that you are sort of dreaming of a future where you will find happiness. Why shouldn’t everyone have that? It’s really absurd to think that everyone shouldn’t get to have that! --Rebecca Sugar

[bnhaobservation]

Todoroki family and chap 430

In case it wasn't obvious by now, I was very invested in the Todoroki family storiline and one of the things that sadden me the most about chap 430 is this image.

We've Enji, or maybe I should say Endeavor, Rei is pushing his wheelchair as he goes somewhere, we don't know where, some want to think he's visiting Touya but it's not said and, around him there are 3 men and a woman.

It's not his children, it's his sidekicks and Hawks.

The final chapter doesn't touch what happened to Natsuo and Fuyumi, we've to assume Fuyumi is happy with her work and Natsuo with his marriage.

We don't know if Touya is still alive but, anyway, he's going to die. Even if we assume he died happily he had said smiling was why they lived their lives. He could keep on living out of anger and grudge but not out of smiles and happiness?

Fuyumi has fought for all those years so hard because she wanted back her family and she basically get nothing, not her old family as Natsuo leaves and Touya dies and it's not even hinted she has a new one as it was Natsuo the one who got a girlfriend as soon as he entered university and marries her basically a year and a half later.

Natsuo is just rushedly married to this character of which we don't even know the name. We don't know if, in the end he visited Touya again or not, we don't know if he ever managed to overcome all the anger and pain he felt inside for how his father ruined the family.

Shouto became a Hero, but his mother is not with him to support him but she is with his father. We don't see his siblings around him, cheering for him. We don't know which effect had on him to reconnect with Touya only to lose him. We're only told he became a good Hero so people don't call him anymore Endeavor's son, forgetting people also looked poorly at him for being Dabi's brother. How did he overcome that? Evidently it somehow disappeared as all the first years are already all his fans and even Dai said all the kids wanted to be like Shouto... but, at the end of the day, we aren't shown Shouto having a good moment with his family, his good moments come from being a Hero and being with his friends.

Even if we assume that, despite having to marry Enji out of duty to help her family, Rei had fallen in love with Enji while their family was having a good time before he turned abusive, and now that she had forgiven him and he stopped being abusive she's glad to be back with him... skipping this was very vaguely constructed she lost 10 years in a hospital and we can't see her with her children. She's supposed to be happy being with him with one of her children dead and one of her children keeping away from his father because just being in the same room with him makes him feel bad.

Mind you, I'm not saying Natsuo should forgive Enji or force himself to be with Enji or whatever but having a person that's related to you that makes you to feel bad just by being in the same room with you so that you've to avoid that person, is not something that's good. If Enji and Rei live together and Natsuo wants to visit his mother he has to make sure to do it when his father is somewhere else. In the past Rei was split between taking care of Shouto, who couldn't be with her other children, and taking care of Touya, Fuyumi and Natsuo, with the result Natsuo felt neglected because he was very small when all this happened and needed his mother... but likely she ended up neglecting Fuyumi and Touya too because you can't be in two places at the same time. Now, instead than having to take turns with Shouto, Natsuo have to take turns with Enji.

Ad for Enji... all his atonement for what? He doesn't manage to rebuild a relation with his children, apparently his sidekicks and Hawks have replaced them, they're conveniently of the right number. His children would have gotten where they were even without his atonement because all we hear is about others helping them, he only get the cool sentence, we see nothing of his struggle. But this is also supposed to be a happy ending for him. Who care if he doesn't have his kids? He has his sidekicks and Hawks his newfound family he would have had anyway had he focused on his work only.

The story tried it's hardest to make me think he cared about his family but then I'm supposed to think he's happy not having any of the sort apart for Rei and a new found family.

Horikishi had already established in the previous chapter Enji would have his sidekicks and Hawks' support, I didn't need a reminder of that.

I needed to see THIS image at the end...

...maybe including Natsuo's girlfriend as he could have introduced her to the rest of the family... or him holding his firstborn and letting Rei see her grandchild.

I needed to see Fuyumi finding someone with whom to form a family since she can't have her own back and she wished so badly for it.

I needed to have this being shown to me...

...or at least to see Touya out of that contraption as he died in peace, a smile on his lips since happiness somehow couldn't save him but grudge could.

I needed to be told something that Enji did that HELPED his kids, that made them be better. Not something vague, I need something concrete. Even if they would never be with him, since he's supposed to atone to them, I need him to make something more than just give them a new house and pay for the bills because he'd been paying bills through all his life so that's not new.

I would have been fine with him watching them smile from a distance or hearing from Rei how they were doing and smiling.

Mind you, I'm willing to believe in Horikoshi's mind Enji now is a changed man and very sorry for what he did and loves his family and yadda yadda but there's a reason why we say 'show, don't tell' and so far Horikoshi is more interested in telling than showing.

I get that in his mind Enji is a character more important than Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo or even Touya, I would have been fine with all that I've mentioned being shown through his perspective because he cares about his family and so he's happy if they're happy.

If, in all that talking Midoriya does about reaching out to others, what he wanted to point out was Enji had continued to reach out to help his family even if they had cut him out of their lives.

But no, the good part is that his sidekicks and Hawks are reaching out for him. Okay, I can take this as the test trying again to point out Enji will never be a Hero, in the end he's not the one reaching out but the one others have to reach out to help but, again, it was established in the past chapter so I didn't need a reminder and it kind of steps all over his arc of trying to reach out for his family.

In the end the most he does is to just take it when they want to yell at him and let them live the live they want... I do think it's a great thing if an abuser were to realize what he had done to his victims and try to atone. It's kind of a miracle turned true... but there's just too little of it in this story.

Maybe I'm missing some deep cultural context, maybe Enji is doing something AMAZING for his family that Horikoshi thought he didn't need to show because it's obvious to Japanese readers but... but I wish he had shown it. Instead the moment Enji finally stop being a Hero and could do something for his family, the manga ends with his family disregating but I'm supposed to see it as a happy ending.

I prefer it had just been called a sad ending. Bad things happen, I can stomach them but honestly "Ano Hana" makes a much better work at portraying grief and atonement and the same goes for "Koe no katachi".

Horikoshi knew he was selling this manga also to foreign readers. I'm not saying he should have made his manga thinking to them but, if this atonement arc was so important, maybe he should have made it more understandable for us as well. This makes the diffference between a national mangaka and an international one.

[specialtysacrifice]

Idk if Mac had a strong sense of self before coming out. I think a lot of it was constructed and obviously based on people he thought he should be like. His dad, or action movie characters. It looked like he had a strong personality, being bossy and stubborn, but I bet if he was asked any typical "fist date" questions, he'd come off like a cardboard cut out, or like an action figure toy with a pull string. Only able to say obvious macho bro-ey answers, not understanding how to genuinely answer. And he truly believed that's who he was. He had to. Because if he wasn't that, wasn't a man, who was he?

Coming out, going back, coming out again, eventually having it stick, he doesn't know who the fuck he is or supposed to be. I think being Gay is a title/role to Mac in the same way being Straight or a Man was. He's only ever seen queers in a negative or, at best, stereotypical light so he doesn't understand the deeper levels to himself. He's just swapped roles from "macho rowdy ladies man" to "gay bear/hunk sex machine" in place of understanding himself on a deeper level.

There's an assumption that queer people have a deeper sense of self and understand ourselves better than cis straight people, but coming out isn't always a coming home. It can destroy your sense of self and leave you completely lost about who you are as a person. It can feel like starting from ground zero.

We see this with Mac almost immediately. Mac Finds His Pride has him lost the whole episode, apathetically going from one queer scene to the next as Frank tries to help him find what Type of Gay he is. Eventually culminating in an attempt to still gain his father's approval. I think the dance helped Mac process his relationship with god, but he is still very lost as a person by the end of the episode.

Another example, very obviously, is when they're in Ireland. Mac has lost all sense of identity. Already struggling with his catholocism and being gay, he's shortly stripped of his Irish identity as well (and immediately tries to figure out how to be Dutch? iirc). That's Mac's whole plot for that entire season pretty much.

He looks to other people to tell him what to do, almost refuses to make his own decisions. Who is Mac? What does he like to do? Not in relation or service to other people, but to himself? I don't think the writers, Rob, or Mac know the answers. He's not gay, he's Mac. What does that mean?

I don't know where else to go with this. Besides that, I feel that in The Gang Goes Bowling, we see just a little bit of Mac returning. Or rather, becoming. I hope we see more of him.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I'm making a character who uses a cane for stability as they're often dizzy / unstable and in pain when walking too long or simply standing without something to lean on, especially in certain warmer conditions ( haven't yet figured out the specifics, mainly just basing how their symptoms are shown using myself lol ), and I was wondering what sort of cane related side effects(?) I should be aware of for this character ?? I've never used a cane myself, but I still want the character to seem realistic in a " this character utilizes their mobility aid realistically and for necessity other than physical injury, and using it has after effects because it's not a 100% fix-all, they're not just a character who happens to have a cane for diversity points " I suppose ??

Maybe just things like they get sweaty palms after a while and it effects grip ( is that a thing ?? ) or their shoulder might ache if they lean on only one arm for too long ( again, listing these for examples that could make sense / make sense in theory, not sure if these are smth that can actually happen ? ), etc !! Just things I should maybe consider to make them feel more real and also to more accurately represent cane usage, etc ( I also want to mention they're quite clumsy, but more of difficulty memorizing where things are placed / ADHD related bad object permanence than general clumsiness, yk. So maybe they bump into things with it or even misplace their cane a lot ?? Is there any issues with this ?? )

Thanks so much in advance for your response !

Hey!

As a cane user, here are some suggestions on showing issues that come with using a cane;

Sweaty palms in the summer, freezing in the winter. To help with the latter, some will wear gloves, others might switch hands to warm the cold one up (in their pockets... or in their partner's hand).

Shoulder can ache, same for the actual hand if they're like me and grip the handle way harder than they need to. Your character might have to stretch their arm if they're using their cane for a long time.

If they use it for dizziness then they could switch it from side to side to prevent a lot of the above. Most people without coordination problems prefer to hold it in their non-dominant hand but if their shoulder hurts then they would probably switch if that's an option.

The character now only has one hand to do stuff with. This slows stuff down and somewhat affects clothing choices (e.g., a bag that goes on the side of the free hand is easier to use than a backpack). Eating most things is harder when walking, if they wear glasses, good luck cleaning them with one hand etc.

In a warmer climate specifically (since you mentioned it) good luck getting all the mosquitos away from you with only one hand.

Sometimes you can kick your cane out of your hand, and it sucks. I actually don't know if this happens to anyone else other than me since I haven't seen it mentioned much by other users, but if your character's cane-side leg is strong then this is a possibility.

Sometimes (but feels like always) the cane is affected by evil forces (gravity) when you lean it against something, and it's annoying to deal with. It can be easier to just hold it between their legs if they're sitting down.

Because of this I might ask someone I'm with to hold my cane when I go to the bathroom. You don't want the handle hitting the floor. (If your character can't go without their cane then disregard this, obviously.)

Everyone bumps into things at the start. Usually you learn how big your new hitbox is with time, but it can still happen once in a while, especially if they deal with dizziness or vertigo. You can also misjudge distances and accidentally put the end of the cane off the sidewalk and that can make you trip.

You can also put it in a Mysterious Crevice (always invisible), and it can range from being mildly annoying to really scary. It can also make you trip.

The tip of the cane needs to be replaced once in a while. If your character uses their cane daily, walks a lot, and puts a lot of weight on it, they will need to do it more often.

If they get dizzy often then a wrist strap (exactly what it sounds like) would probably be good so that they don't drop it when getting up, etc.

Cane doesn't get rid of all the symptoms, it just makes walking easier/safer. If your character has issues with stability then they probably aren't gonna be running around just because they have a cane.

And, obviously, annoying people. Arguably the biggest issue when it comes to using a cane. It obviously depends on what setting the character is in, but random ableism encounters are unfortunately a part of the experience. It absolutely doesn't have to be some sort of hate crime (!!!!), including a microaggression here and there ("What happened to you?", "I'll pray for you", "Why are you using this?" etc. unprompted) is enough if your story aims for realism but doesn't focus on ableism.

I don't have ADHD and can't really speak on how that would affect anything, so I will leave it to other mods who actually have relevant experience. Hope this helps,

mod Sasza

Hello!

Oh, the perils of ADHD and a cane. I leave my cane laying around all the time at home and end up tripping over it at least twice a day. Admittedly, this could also be impacted by my low vision.

Other ways my ADHD interacts with my cane usage:

Forgetting to change the tip until it's basically flat and I'm faceplanting all the time.

Terrible sense of spatial awareness. I do kick my cane out from under me occasionally but I also miss a step very often, smack into pillars or counters or chairs fairly frequently (Either with my cane or my body), and just generally make a nuisance of myself in tightly packed spaces.

I live in a very small flat and tend to use my counters and walls more for support than my cane when I'm home so I am ALWAYS leaving it propped up somewhere and forgetting where.

Fidgeting by picking at the stickers I have on it and also picking at the wood of the handle. Also by pressing in the 'buttons' for adjusting the height.

Another spatial awareness issue: I have an ice attachment on mine because I live in the frigid lands of Canada and I am constantly kicking it when I walk. I imagine this would be a similar problem with any other attachments.

Terrible impulse control often leads to me getting stuck places because I'm able to easily get there but getting out/down/up from wherever it is is more difficult and didn't cross my mind. For example, the other day I went up a steep hill in the forest and was able to do it just fine but couldn't get down easily on my own (Eventually I ended up just butt-scooching down rather than risking a fall).

Mod Sasza covered a lot of the general cane-usage issues but just to add a few more that I encounter:

The crevice thing is a real pain and if your character lives somewhere with street cars, it can be really scary to cross the road. I always have to alternate between looking down so I don't get my cane tip caught in the tracks and looking around so I don't get hit by an impatient driver.

I can't go without my cane in the washroom so something I do is have hand sanitizer on me constantly (As well as disinfectant wipes if I can). It helps to kind of clean my hands a bit before I grab my cane again and it also helps if I do end up dropping it on the floor.

Adding onto the ableism issue: I frequently encounter able bodied people using things such as the accessible seating on public transport, accessible washrooms/stalls, ramps, etc. when there are other options for them available. This is the biggest problem for me when I go out.

This may be specific to my cane but I find that whenever I fold it up (It's collapsible) or adjust the height, I end up with grease on my hands which is a bit annoying.

The height! That's another thing. If your character uses their cane indoors and outdoors, they may need to adjust the height frequently. The other reason I don't use my cane at home is because I wear heavy boots outside and would have to adjust it every time I take them off otherwise. That said, if their shoes are thin or don't give them much height, they may be fine without adjusting it.

Hopefully some of this is helpful!

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Hazbins bad character design

I feel like there is a definitive lack of varitey when it comes to the designs in HH as well as a problem of characters' designs not fitting them or what the show wants us to assume about them.

I've said it before and I'll say it again (like lots of other ppl already) but the designs in HH specifically mostly don't work. They're fine if you look at them disconnected from the show. Maybe as just random characters who don't really have to carry a show visually. But they don't work if you actually put them into context and into the background of Hazbin Hotel.

Obviously this stuff is very objective and if you do like the designs thats fine (which I shouldn't even have to say). Also I didn't study art or character design and I don't think you have to to be good at it/be able to form opinions on it and this is mostly just me compiling what I don't like while using some basic knowledge on how shapes, colours etc work.

(rant under the cut)

One problem I really have is, that as soon as you have a design there are immediate assumptions about the character. In the sense that if person A is very muscular and fights against person B, who is maybe slimmer or less buff, you would probably immediately assume that person A wins, atleast in physical combat. Whereas person B would probably be the assumed winner in a stretching or flexibility competition. Often characters are designed with these assumptions in mind. Muscle, height, weight, age, clothes etc. give way into assuming stuff about people, their condition, lifestyle or personality.

The expectations that are set up by the design choices are usually either picked to genuinely represent something about a character or to be subverted and shock/confuse the audience.

Like how a lot of fighting types in Pokémon will either be more muscular or have other details relating to certain fighting styles/sports and the fairy types are usually pinkish, fluffy and cutesy. Because these elements are something typically associated with these types and when we look at them we can pretty easily tell which type they're supposed to be.

Otherwise, Monster girl from Invincible is drawn as a twelve year old girl, so it subverts expectations when she turns into a big green monster and generally doesn't stray away from violence, because it's something you wouldn't have assumed about her from her appearance.

In Hazbin Hotel most of the time the character designs don't necessarily fit what they're supposed to be and they also don't use the other design choices as subversion (the one that would probably count here is Nifty with looking and acting very childlike usually but then also acting violent/crazy sometimes).

The first thing would probably be that characters don't look their age mostly.

Charlie and Valeria (Vaggie, but I really don't wanna keep calling her that so she gets a new name) look fine as they're supposed to be around 20. Rosie and Carmilla also look alright for what we can assume their ages are supposed to be. But Alastor is in his 30s or 40s (what it says on the fandom wiki) and he looks around 20 as well. The same thing goes for Lucifer. He looks so young that he could also count as just Charlies brother or friend rather than her dad, because he doesn't look like he could be the dad of a 20 year old. This makes the song "Hell's Greatest Dad" a bit awkward because these men are singing/competing about who is better as Charlies father but they don't look a day older than her. Husk also looks way too young for someone in his 60s-70s (again from the wiki).

The body types being all the same also doesn't help.

Mimzy and Adam are pretty much the only more relevant characters who aren't like all the others in terms of body shape. All the other relevant women in the show have a tiny waist and either big boobs/big hips or just a slimmer build in general. All the men have thin waists and then broader shoulders.

And for some characters it makes sense. Like Angel is really flexible and his more lanky body fits with being a spider. But why are Lucifer and Valentino like that? Other than the fact that Viv doesn't like drawing muscles there is really no reason for them too being build like every other skinny man there. Valentino is supposed to be intimidating not just by how he acts but physically too. He seemingly has a bit more muscle than others but his arms are still super thin and look like they could snap if I look at them wrong. I'm not trying to say that abusers all have to be buff, but simply from a design perspective the scenes with him would be a lot more effective if we saw him actually have a big physical advantage over Angel and others, even when he isn't necessarily threatening them. As soon as he comes on screen, we could see him as a much more intimidating presence, especially when all the other characters look like sticks. Or they could make it so, that he hides his muscles under his coat and when we get the reveal of him actually removing it, it's more shocking and immediately makes the situation more tense.

Lucifer could've had a more confident frame as well. He's the king of hell and the strongest being in hell, so just for the diversity I would give him some muscles too. Husk is also super skinny and for someone who only sits around and drinks alcohol all day, he should definitely have a beer belly (please I swear to god I wanna see more men with bellies, Mammon was great). Also for Valeria and Lute and pretty much all the Angels I don't get why they wouldn't be more buff either. Valeria is a fighter, she's Charlies bodyguard but she looks like all of the other women there. It's stated that Angels fight so wild because they don't know they could get hurt. And while I know that the Angels can really only get hurt by angelic weapons, having this whole reveal that they can be injured would've definitely suprised me more, if they actually looked like they couldn't be injured in the first place. But then again, Valeria looks like her arms would break as soon as a breeze hits them too hard. In some episodes her thighs look a bit more muscular, but not notably and she also doesn't fight using her legs (like Carmilla) so only her thighs being bigger sort of doesn't make sense. In general, she or Lute don't show any difference to the women who aren't physical fighters. And obviously just to have a more interesting show to look at, including different body types would do a great job at making these characters stand apart from eachother more.

While we're on the topic of diversity, another obvious thing that makes the characters redundant and borig (sometimes ugly too) is the reused colour pallette. Colour coding is probably one of the easiest things when talking about character designs and it's something atleast Helluva Boss understands.

What effect warm/cold tones have or what feelings we associate with different colours is a great way to bring stuff about characters across without being too on the nose. Obviously colour can also be used to either connect characters or to make them very distinct. Shape language also plays into that of course. In Inside Out the emotions are mostly characterized by their respective colour and by their distinct shapes.

Joy = yellow (bright colour often associated with the sun/light)

Sadness = blue (cold colour often associated with tears/rain)

Anger = red (very strong colour with aggressive association with fire or when someone turns red because of anger)

Fear = purple (light colour here, mix between red and blue as fear often falls into a more angry or sad feeling)

Disgust = green (colour of most dirt or puke or other stuff people usually see as gross)

Or in a show like Bluey, where different patterns, shapes and colours show the breed of the dog and also how characters might be related to eachother (same breed/mix of breed = usually related).

Or how colours can be used as lighting effects to create cool shots when the colour pallette changes all of a sudden. In JJBA these changes happen often when someone is in distress or unsure of themselves. Also in tense moments to make them seem more exciting and interesting.

Hazbin Hotel has very limited range when it comes to the colours of the main cast. All of them feature some form of red and that usually in combination with black or white (if they aren't just purely red like Alastor or Rosie). This makes them not stand out from eachother and creates very similar colour pallettes which get boring once you've seen them repeated over and over again. It also makes the visual connection between characters who are actually related (like Charlie and Lucifer) a lot less strong because so many characters share similarities already.

Also they just hurt to look at sometimes because the background is mostly red as well and with a lot of them being very overly detailed. People have also spoken before about the show being pretty inaccessible for colour blind/vision impared people due to these issues with the colour.

And now you might say that it's hell and therefore it makes sense for all of them and the background to be red. But firstly, I don't think that there is a definitive source which decides that hell is red and can only be shown/interpreted as red. And also there is another show, also set in hell which actually does a much better job at that and actually shows different colours in hell. Like in Helluva Boss the rings are all colour coded.

And I know, that HH plays in the pride ring fully, but imagine how cool it would've been to see sinners have colours similar to the sin(s) they committed. This could lead to them looking distinct from eachother and the background and would also lead to us being able to assume stuff about them, if we're familiar with the colour coding. In "Hell's Greatest Dad" they do a fun colour change with different light and it's really refreshing and I just wanted to see more variety like that (of course I kinda get that the colour changing isn't really part of the shows design but it was pretty cool to see in that song).

There also is the issue with characters that are supposed to be animal-like sinners not looking like the animal they apparently take inspiration from. The thing is that the animal/object parts don't necessarily have to be visible to understand a character. But in the show, how sinners look in hell is often influenced by their life on earth. Vox's head being a TV is because he was a Tv-show host when he was alive. Nifty also is supposedly a bug, which makes sense because she hates bugs and probably hated them in real life too. But that is where it would be great to actually have Nifty resemble a bug, instead she has no features of one and just looks like a regular humanoid sinner. The same thing happens with Alastor being a deer, Valeria a moth, Charlie goat-like and Angel a spider (also Mimzy is apparently based off of a chicken). Like I said, the animal inspiration isn't essential to the characters, but emphasizing these design elements could help the characters stand out instead of them all just looking like sort of human characters. Sir pentious and Husk work the best in terms of presenting their animal inspiration (though pretty much everything else about Husks design sucks ass).

And then there are complaints about the characters that are supposed to be people of colour not having any features that resemble their race. It's just a bit weird when a mostly humanoid sinner doesn't really seem to resemble how the person looked in real life. Black characters have really desaturated and sometimes just straight up grey skin in HH. Alastor is probably the most egregious in that regard, but also Emily has just light blueish gray skin and no textured hair or other black features like the nose or lips or palms. Velvette and Sera have darker skin but also no other features (except for when we see Velvette's natural hair texture in like one shot at the end of the season). I know there are other things wrong with how Voodoo is presented in HH or with Mimzy's design often being seen as a jewish caricature, but I don't wanna focus on that fully, because I feel like there are people better suited for talking about that (black people or jewish people ofc).

In general HH is a show with pretty bad designs (imo). That's actually a thing I prefer about Helluva Boss, because there the designs are mostly okay or actually sometimes pretty good. Striker is probably my favourite design in both shows (he reminds me of Dillon and that's cool).

I like Mammon, Asmodeus, Octavia and Loona as well. I would still probably change a bunch if I were to redesing the HB cast but they overall look more solid than the HH cast.

This was another post which pretty quickly became an excuse to talk about other media I enjoy. I might do that more often, because comparing elements of HH or HB to other stuff makes it kinda easier to articulate my feelings. Also just because I enjoy talking about other stuff too.