#i don't know which of the elephants this guy needs naming for

[gcballet]

Had a realisation about two of the ornaments in my bedroom and now I need three more elephants

[sweetiechenle]

halo 𖦹 haechan

pairing: non-idol!collegestudent!mean!haechan x afab!collegestudent!reader

summary: you know haechan is not good for you but you just keep coming back

warnings: mdni 18+ only, angst, hurt, barely any comfort, haechan is toxic and a liar and a manipulator, reader is :/ someone help them, sex scenes, cursing, mentions of drinking/smoking, name-calling (not the nice kind), this is a toxic relationship and if u relate to any of this pls remember help is out there! fiction ≠ reality, i do not believe he would act like this irl, he is just a character in my story.

♬⋆.˚ now playing .ᐟ 'halo' by cage the elephant

you knew i couldnt help myself i had to lay low

you never had trouble making friends, but after a while it felt like chore. mundane conversations made with strangers at school, your job, parties your best friend mark would drag you to occasionally. when you told mark you had the weekend off you knew you fucked up, he began to pled, almost getting on his knees to accompany him to this party 'the coolest people in class' were throwing was his words. you rolled your eyes saying 'i’ll think about it' that was wednesday and as friday crept closer you knew youd have to give him an answer soon.

drinking was never fun for you, always blacking out and throwing up somewhere, or worst, on someone, which mark and renjun would never let you live down. so, you became the designated driver, only when you felt like it. however, you still had fun hanging out with your friends drinking or not, mark never left you alone for too long and renjun would always dance with you when asked. you preferred seeing your friends outside of partying which was never a problem for anyone in your group, you wouldn't call yourself��innocent, just someone who wanted a more calm environment.

'please come with me, it won't be fun without you' mark sat on the couch in your studio apartment. you stood opposite of him, right in front of the tv. rolling your eyes at him, he was looking around you trying to see his show playing. 'could you move?'

'could you be a little bit nicer? you're the one trying to get ME to do something' folding your arms you move to sit next to him. he sighed and threw his head up to look at the ceiling for a second, he turned off the tv and moved his body towards you. 'y/n would you please come with me to this party? I think there are a couple of people there who you would like actually…' he nudged you, 'jeno will be there, his friend is actually hosting it' you gave him a little smile at hearing your crushes name, but everyone liked jeno.

'hmm, while i don't think jeno would actually talk to me, i guess i have nothing else better to do with my time, just promise you wont leave me' you begged your best friend.

he smiled and took out his pinky finger, presenting it to you, 'i promise' you grabbed it with your own, sealing your fate for the weekend.

you hurried to get ready, opting for high-waisted jean shorts and a simple crop top, something cute to make you fit in, not to grab too much attention. mark was waiting for you on your couch, occasionally shouting out that you both needed to leave soon. finishing up your make up you told mark that you would meet him in the car. it was a deal that he would drive you both there and you would drive back, with him probably drunk and/or high. making your way downstairs and outside, saw him in the driver's seat, ready to take off. once you sat down he was already driving, 'why are we rushing? we actually have plenty of time to get there'

mark sighed, obviously nervous, “well I met these guys the other day and they seem really cool, i just don't want to blow it, you know?' you didnt 'i just want to be their friend, for all of us' you noticed how his knuckles were white gripping the steering wheel. in one of marks classes he was paired up with jeno, who was part of one of the most popular groups in the whole college, a group he wanted to be a part of, and when jeno invited him to a party he knew he couldn't fuck up his chances.

'mark, relax and just be yourself, i'm sure they'll like you. you're like the coolest person i know' you tried to reassure him. he rolled his shoulders back and loosened his grip, trying to clear his mind of anxiety, 'you know i'm nervous too' your words caught him off guard, 'the only person i'll probably know there is you, and maybe renjun if he shows up' he nodded realizing he wasn't the only one freaking out.

the car stopped outside of a little townhouse, you figured a couple of college guys lived there together, there was no way only one person could own something like that in a town so expensive. 'alright, i think this is chenle’s house' turns out only one guy did live there.

it was dark when you entered, and there was a lot of people already there. the music was alarmingly high, but if the person who lived here could afford it then they probably paid the neighbors not to mind too much for one night. you stood behind mark awkwardly, watching as he said hi’s to people you didn't know, he tried to introduce you to which you waved and gave a small introduction. that was until he found jeno along with some other guy, just the four of you in the small kitchen, it was unbearably hot and you wondered if they could see how red your cheeks were.

'y/n' mark started, you broke your gaze from the cherry cabinets and looked at your best friend, 'this is jeno and his friend haechan' you gave them a small small and wave trying to give your most confident ‘hi’. they were so cute, but your focus remained on jeno the most.

'it's nice to meet you, y/n' jeno said before his other friend could, who continued to stare at you, without another word the dark-haired male turned to your best friend, 'want to play beer pong?' you almost laughed telling him you'd come and watch later as mark turned to you for the okay.

when you came to watch them later (after asking multiple people where the table was for beer pong) you found it and mark was already chugging a beer with jeno by his side. giggling you told mark to slow down or he would be passed out within the next hour, jeno just smirked beside you, throwing his arms over the both of you as mark finished his drink. you stopped laughing as jeno yelled over the blaring music, 'we're just getting started my friends'. mark let out a laugh of his own which forced some laughter out of you, you looked from his face to across the table. you remembered him as jeno's friend, haechan, staring at you with pointed eyes and a thin lip, no hints of laughter.

'here drink this' mark said handing you a red cup with clear liquor swirling around, it smelled like alcohol and you grimaced but took it anyways, 'trust me, there's barely any vodka in there, it will help you wind down a little' annoyed by his statement you took a sip and closed your eyes, trying to keep it all down. he walked away to where jeno was, now sitting with a big group.

'not tasty enough? or would you prefer the wine worth hundreds of dollars we save only for goody-goody’s like you?' you turned at the unexpectant guest, raising your eyebrows at the comment. breath hitching in your throat finding jeno's friend, haechan, standing before you.

'excuse me?' you almost spit out the second sip you'd taken, not from the bitter taste but the way he spoke.

'you heard me, you don't have to drink it if you think you are too good for it' he lifted up his eyebrow in question, giving you a slight smirk.

his behavior confused you, but deciding to play along, 'it could be worse, but could be better' you said putting down the cup.

before you could leave, another man entered the room right behind haechan, he slapped his back, making the shorter man jump, 'sorry, he's an asshole'

you smiled in amusement and watched haechan turn to argue with the other boy, you left the room to find mark. you asked if he was ready to leave but he said something about the party just starting, rolling your eyes you asked if he could at least dance with you. he reluctantly agreed, getting up from the couch, he took your hand and led you to the dance floor. you had tried to get jeno's attention by sneaking looks at him, but obviously was a bad plan as he never took notice of your existence even in such a small place. you looked back at mark and to your surprise he wasn't there anymore but haechan, you stood ready to get away from him. he took your arm in his hand, “don't leave, let's dance” you hesitated, but to not make things awkward you agreed. trying to move along with the beat you felt him against you, getting closer. feeling his hot breath on your ear you shuddered, 'staring at jeno isn't going to make him want you… as if he would ever want anyone like you' turning towards him, he stared down at you like dry grass burning from the sun, you could tell something was up. before you could say anything else he grabbed your hips and turned so your back was now touching his front, he moved you along to the music. 'you think you're so innocent' he whispered, 'you should come upstairs with me, i can make you forget all about jeno' so that's what it was, you came to the conclusion that he was acting like this because he liked you(?) and was jealous. the puzzle was hard to put together in your mind, but before you could think another thought about it, the brown-haired boy was tugging you upstairs to an empty room.

it was dark and only the moonlight shone through the window, illuminating only small parts on his face. you noticed some moles and if the circumstances were different you'd comment on how cute they were. caught by surprise in a split second his lips were on yours, kissing you feverishly like his life depended on it, you tried to keep up with the speed, kissing him back almost instantly. he would move down to your neck and bite slightly making you gasp and moan, just as he said, making you forget all about jeno. you watched as his hand slid down your pants and into your underwear, you gasped as he played with you. suddenly embarrassed you hid your face in the crook of his neck, giving him little butterfly kisses as you tried to hold back your moans. 'do you like that?' he huffed in your ear, not stopping his movements. you nodded, whimpering as you tried to reach your high, 'use your words bitch' he hissed going slower to try and make you suffer.

'i like it' you muttered, he went back to his steady pace, going faster when he noticed your legs shaking a little, a couple seconds later you came on his fingers, coming down from your high you sighed and tried to catch your breath. he took his hand out of your pants and held his fingers in front of your face 'suck' he demanded.

'will you call me tomorrow?' you blurted, maybe he did like you and this was just his crazy way of getting your attention.

'no, now suck' he imposed. reluntantly you took his fingers in your mouth, cleaning yourself off of him. after you were done, he stood getting ready to leave you in the room, before opening the door he turned to you still sitting on the bed, 'i'll ask mark for your number'

he didn't call you the next day or the next week, you'd occasionally see him around campus, with his friend group, and sometimes even with mark. you didn't tell mark about what happened between the two of you at the party out of pure embarrassment. mark doesn't even remember leaving you on the dance floor, to begin with. you wanted to forget about haechan, and let him go, but there was something about that night the way he made you feel, uneasy but grounded at the same time. It was a feeling someone else would call you insane if you ever tried to explain it out loud.

just as you thought you were over it, a random text came through your phone on a lonely saturday night reading: 'it's haechan, wanna come over?' you knew you didn't have to go but you did anyways. getting in your car you clicked his address on your phone and drove straight to his apartment. he buzzed you into the building and you made your way upstairs, opting only to dress in sweats and a matching hoodie. he opened the door with a smile, something you weren't really used to seeing yet, but devilishly handsome none-the-less. he led you to his bedroom, a modest size. you moved to the end of the bed, playing with the strings on your hoodie, the air now becoming awkward. you felt a dip next to you and turned towards him, he leaned in for a kiss, much like the night a week ago. you silently complied, kissing him slowly.

he stopped halfway, 'why are you holding back? come on y/n don't act all innocent now, you were the one who asked me to text you,' you winced, he was right.

you faltered, trying not to look him in the eyes, 'i've never done anything like this before, like um… sex' the room felt big and you got smaller under his stare.

he let out a lifeless laugh, 'i'm going to ruin you' he said more to himself. the night ended with you in bed with him, nothing going further than foreplay as you told him you weren't ready yet, but he was willing to wait. haechan wanted to break your innocence, it became a mission to break your facade of someone who acted like they were too good for everyone around them, he knew that deep down you were no better than him.

'i like you y/n, but we can't be seen out together in public, you know mark is a part of our friend group somewhat, and if he finds out about us, i don't think he would like that too much, you know since he's your best friend and all' haechan explained as to why you couldn't tell anyone about your relationship, no way was he being sincere but you didn't have to know that.

you blushed 'I like you too, haechan' you took a mental note when your words made him smile, which just set your heart ablaze. 'yeah, i don't think mark would be too happy about us right now, maybe we should wait a while before we tell him' haechan smiled, getting you right where he wanted.

after a while, you left and went back home, giddy and feeling nothing but joy in your heart. a couple of nights a week it would be the same routine, haechan would call you to come over and you would end up in the same place, under him and in his bed. there was a handful of times you would go out to eat ramen at some random convenience stores outside of town, you never questioned him when he didn't hold your hand even when no one was around. sometimes he was sweet, cuddling into you in bed after an intimate moment or when he asked you if you wanted to stay and watch a movie. other times you'd get done in bed and he'd bluntly ask when you were leaving, you figured he was probably tired.

it didn't help that at times when you and mark would hang out with his new friend group, haechan would act like he never even knew you, but ‘it was for the best’ reminding yourself. it almost slipped to everyone while playing video games together and jeno was on your team, you both had gotten too invested in the game. hugging when you won and arms around you for comfort when you lost, to haehcan jeno was getting way too close for comfort. he continuously asked to switch partners, you thought it was cute, but it just made everyone confused as to why haechan wanted you as a partner so bad. your smile faltered when he answered 'she's terrible! obviously needs someone else to help her win, i think it should be me' his comment pushed a pin through your heart, so you didn't answer his call that night, but of course, you couldn't help yourself. after he texted continuously, trying to tell you it was the best way to get the others off of your backs and not to suspect anything, you agreed to go see him.

after months of back and forth with haechan, you were content with where you were with him. you were sitting in the library on campus one night, there were not a lot of students around, but it was a smaller school to begin with so at any given point there was never really anyone around. never being one to eavesdrop on other people's conversations, but when haechan's name was said multiple times between two girls sitting nearby, you just had to listen in. you couldn't make out exactly what they were saying but you stood up when you heard his name and the other girl squealing slightly when the other said 'texted'. before you could even think about it you walked to the end of their table, 'why are you texting my boyfriend?'

the girls were surprised by their sudden interruption of the conversation, turning to you with their mouths slightly agape. 'haechan? girlfriend? this can't be the same haechan we're talking about' she laughed. her statement just made you furious, you knew you were quiet with haechan but you trusted he wasn't talking to other girls. 'girl, stand up, he’ll fuck anything with two legs' the other girl said before turning back to speak with the other, ignoring you entirely. before leaving the second girl called out to you, 'sorry, he's an asshole!' you stomped outside, weight pulling you down as you heard that before, you called haechan with a heavy heart, explaining that you needed to come over.

once you made it to his place you started explaining 'that girls were talking about texting you' and that 'you trusted he would never do that'. he sighed, trying to get you to calm down, haechan guided you to sit on the couch in his living room, explaining slowly, 'first of all, we are not dating, i never asked you to be my girlfriend, second, i have not texted any other girls, they are probably just jealous, but you can not just go around and call us that to strangers!' he walked around in circles, pulling at his brown hair in frustration. you felt your heart break at his confession, how could you forget that he never asked you to be his girlfriend, so why would you go around and call him your boyfriend? you felt embarrassment and stupidity wash over you, it felt gross and sticky. standing up you walked to the door, he watched you take the knob in your hand, turning it, 'i understand' you left.

it was a week without haechan, and while you knew it was good for you, it felt so wrong. you hated it, trying your best to avoid him, yet he was the only thing you could think about. he tried calling you a couple times, and they would go unanswered, he texted you and everything. you ignored him as best as you could, it was until mark got involved. unbelievable, your best friend showed up at your door, saying he wanted to hang out and watch a movie and nonchalantly adding in the comment 'oh yeah, by the way, haechan asked me for you to call him'

you tried to act confused as to why, trying to get more information from mark, 'did he say why?'

mark looked just as confused as you did, 'no but he said it was important, he was kind of sad too, did you do anything to him?'

you scoffed, 'no i didnt, but i guess i should call him if it's that important' after mark left later that night you decided it would be now or never. you could never help yourself with haechan, no matter how bad you wanted to get away, he always found a way to pull you back in.

he picked up on the second ring, 'let me explain' you sighed and told him to go ahead, 'i didnt mean to upset you y/n, you see, i was going to ask you to be my girlfriend and i guess those girls had heard something around campus and got jealous'

you grew suspicious, 'what do you mean ‘heard something around campus’?'

'okay well i told jeno that we had been together for a couple of months and that i was planning on asking you, and i guess he told someone else. please y/n come over tonight and let me make it up to you'

you sighed… you really shouldn't, 'fine, ill be over in 10 minutes'

got so high, couldnt help myself. i lost my halo

'now mark still doesnt know about us, so you cant go around saying anything okay?' haechan was trying to convince you, as he peppered your neck in kisses, 'are you ready tonight?' he was desperate to get you to comply finally. he had been waiting months, usually, girls give it up way earlier but you took some breaking… love as haechan hated to call it. months of work just to break your innocence for him just to get some pussy. he would admit that he had fun trying to get you to bend at his every command, but when you ignored him it just made him want you more. he just couldn't help himself. it took him a lot of thinking but after this night, he wasn't done with you yet. He was so close and he wasn't going to stop now.

you sat infront of him, nervous at his question but you nodded, 'im ready' he gave you a devilish smile in return, planning to do something absolutely crazy to seal the deal. 'good, now just relax baby, i promise i'll make you feel good' you nodded, trusting him. after a while of kissing you got down on your knees in front of him, something you had done dozens of times. now it felt different, in the back of your mind you could hear the girl's voice from a week ago, 'stand up' you stared at his crotch, the bulge waiting for you. 'are you going to suck my dick or not?' he questioned, starting to become impatient, you looked up in a panic not realizing how much lost in thought you were. you unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants, 'come on baby, you remember just like last time, remember how good you made me feel?' this wasn't good for you, deep down you knew it, but no matter how much he slipped the knife under your skin, you couldn't help it, and there was no going back now. looking up into his brown eyes staring down you nodded.

after he finished, he was hard again almost immediately, ready for what he worked so hard to accomplish, finally breaking your image, it was so sweet he could get high just thinking about it. the way you had defended him from cheating even when those girls were right. the fact that he never wanted to be your boyfriend but couldn't stand the fact of you leaving him, he was fucking crazy and tonight he planned something even more fucked up so he always has a tight hold on you.

you sighed as you laid on your back, waiting for haechan to get ready, feeling nervous as you watched him roll the condom over his dick. he moved to the bed finally and climbed on top of you, 'are you sure about this?' he double-checked, hoping you wouldn't back out now. the excitement almost getting to the best of him as he lined up with your entrance. you nodded and shut your eyes as he slid inside. while it hurt so bad, you felt so full. without even telling him he started to move and that's when it felt better, so euphoric. he continued to pound into you, and all you could do was moan into his shoulder, your brain feeling like mush from everything feeling, your body going through the trails of fire. 'I love you' he whispered and you could barely comprehend the words, deep down you knew he was lying but this was too good to fuck up right now, all you could do was kiss him.

you couldn't help yourself. you'd come back every time.

i lost my halo

[contract-crawdad]

Apartment 16 Headcanons and Theories

Over-analysis is my middle name.

To start things off, I believe that the mutated residents of apartment 16 were part of a gardening club that just happened to meet the morning all this started happening! A collection of people from different walks of life who shared a passion for botany, meeting up to show off their favorite (and in a few cases, quite exotic) plants!

A trickier matter to explain is the how of their mutations! A fairly large the elephant in the room is that there are NO WINDOWS on F1, and thus no easy way for anyone in apartment 16 to have looked outside! The easier answer is simply that they looked outside before F1 became an endless labyrinth with no windows, and in fact they would have had to in order to make sure their plants are getting adequate light.

Personally, however, I like to think that everyone got exposed in the early morning hours JUST as the Visitor’s effects began, while its influence was at its weakest. Delaying the onset of the changes until everyone had moved their plants into the apartment for their meetup.

With the basics out of the way: I think it’s a clean 50/50 on whether or not any individual we’re looking at in here is a human mutant fused with a plant, or a plant mutant puppeting human remains.

The Skull Flower and Ribcage Bloom are two examples where the plant is definitely the witness to the Visitor as opposed to a human!

One of the Skull Flower’s attacks is spitting hard seeds at you, which is likely how it creates more Skull Flowers! The bullet-like projectile acts as a means of getting the seed into the skin, where it then germinates.

It would also explain WHY all the plants are so hostile: you and your party are potential fertilizer.

Plants being affected by the Visitor despite their lack of eyes is really cool, and there is precedent for it with Sam’s houseplant (assuming you move it into the light)!

My understanding of this process is that the Visitor's changes are brought on by perceiving it, and thus being perceived by it, right? Well! Plants don't have traditional eyes, but they can tell whether they're in light or not! Is that not, in its own way, a form of perception? An awareness of a thing, even if a plant knows nothing more than that there is a thing?

I suppose that’s all the Visitor’s influence needs.

Moss Freak is another likely pure-plant mutant! Despite being human shaped and possessing bones, the lack of flesh and the fact that it’s face is merely an approximation of what a human face should look like makes me think this is more mimicry of human features than an actual resemblance.

Moss using a sketal frame as a mimic also ties into its battle strategy! You approach the smiling, waving plant man, and BAM: two more reveal themselves from within! It’s not just an ambush… it’s an ambush!

Root Creep is a bit of a gray area. Is it a human twisted into the shape of a plant, or a plant growing through a human body? I could see it being argued either way.

I think I lean slightly more towards Root Creep being a plant using a human body as a sort of ‘pot’. Mostly due to how the roots are just bursting out of this poor (hopefully dead) guy’s head.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to comment on just how gnarly Root Creep’s eyeball stamens are.

Grass Creep, Seed Creep, and Great Flower are where we get into what are more overly human-turned-plants!

They possess very human shapes and features, invoking the imagery of a human body being stretched and warped and folded into plant-like biology to match the greenery they’re not fused with.

Just look at Great Flower! That is a human head stretched into the shape of a corpse flower. Marvelously fucked up. This is the sort of thing the Visitor does to humans all the time, and the screaming face makes it clear that even if there’s no human consciousness anymore, a human was definitely used as a part in the creation of this monstrosity.

I like to think that Grass Creep was a crotchety older gardener. Suffered from joint problems only made worse by their transformation, resulting in their uniquely rooted state. They were very glad to find that their body no longer hurt to move, even if it stopped moving altogether.

Seed Freak gives the vibe of (at lest two) siblings fused together! Maybe they weren’t even in the gardening club, they just live elsewhere in the apparent. Happened to be passing by and figured they’d offer help with carrying one gardener’s heavy potted cactus into the building. Only to find that they started merging with it when they go to set it down.

Lastly and not leastly, we have Crimson Bloom!

They seem to have made a lair for themself in the bathroom, with lots of of skulls decorating the interior as well as the entrance. Fashionable!

Equally fashionable are the swarms of flies clogging the air around them. It makes sense: a rafflesia (the plant Crimson Bloom seems to have fused with) stinks like rotten mean with the explicit purpose of attracting carrion flies. To eat? No! The flies are the rafflesia’s helpful pollinators! While they’d be irritating to the average human, I’m sure Crimson Bloom is having the time of their life surrounded by their swarming friends!

Both Great Flower (corpse flower) and Crimson Blossom (rafflesia) are fused with exceptionally uncommon plants, so my assumption is that they were both the heads of this gardening society. Founders and organizers, now fused with their prides and joys.

For that matter, they’re still doing their best to make sure their precious plants are cared for. There’s no windows in apartment 16, remember. And plants do, historically, need sunlight to live. But without sunlight, other sources of nutrients will have to do… hence all the skulls.

Apartment 16 sure has a lot of skulls, huh?? Like, it’s a LOT of skulls! A frankly unreasonable number of skulls. Wow. One has to wonder how.

I do have a theory on that: the ambient noise!

Apartment 16 sounds like a busy swamp, with all sorts of noisy insects (and frogs??) creating a jungle-like atmosphere.

Consider where you find apartment 16. In the middle of a literally endless maze of rooms. So if you're lost and being chased by, hypothetically, a massive mass of rats that stalks the outer halls? Yeah, you're gonna try and get out of there.

I think it’s fairly likely that people think that apartment 16 leads outside, and all of those skulls are the remains of people who ducked inside hoping to escape the Rat King or to find a way out of the maze.

It's like an oasis in the desert that turns out to be a mirage.

[sednas]

as always, the baji one is longer because I am still in love with him

༘♡ ft. draken, mikey, mitsuya, chifuyu, baji, ran, hanma x gn!reader

✶࿐ tw: cry cry cry cry cry

draken is the kind of guy who would pull you into a bear hug as soon as he sees the tears in the corner of your eyes

he's warm and big, providing a much needed sense of security

you would drown in his scent and his oversized hoodie as you keep crying

"you're okay, I'm here, nothing's going to hurt you now." is the kind of thing he would say, insisting on the fact that he will protect you

♡

mikey would hold your hand through your whole crying session

he'd give your hand a soft squeeze every now and then, to let you know that he's still here

if you tell him why you're crying he will already think of a way to fix your problem

but he wouldn't mind sitting in silence until you're done crying either, he's a patient man, even more so when it comes to you

he would probably cry once he's alone too, because he absolutely hates it when you're sad

♡

mitsuya wouldn't want to overstep and would wait until you want to talk about it

but if you keep crying, he'll start to worry and end up touching you anyway

he would start by softly touching your hair until his hand is behind the back of your head and then he would pull you closer so you can cry on his shoulder

he will make you something to eat or run you a bath once you finally stop crying

♡

baji hates to see you cry, it's something that makes him physically angry at the world because why someone as nice as you would deserve such pain?

baji is the best hugger out there, his back rubs are amazing

he would lay down on his bed with you and start rubbing your back

he's the kind of guy who would try to make you laugh or at least try to make you think about something else

at some point he would invent a dumb game where you have to guess which animal he's thinking about by the way he's tracing its name behind your back

a few minutes go by and you're suddenly laughing because you guessed it was an elephant while he was in fact thinking of an alligator

♡

he tells you that you suck at this game and you gently bite on his chin as a comeback and you can't even remember why you were crying a few seconds ago

chifuyu would cry with you, maybe not as hard as you but he would shed a few tears

actually, he would get a bit overwhelmed seeing you so sad and he wouldn't know what to do for the first few minutes

but if you ask him to hold you he would react within a second

"of course, please don't cry, just tell me what's going on."

it's okay if you don't answer him, he'll hold you the whole time

by the end of your crying session he makes sure you've calm down and you do the same because he looks as moved as you

♡

ran would first make sure you are not physically injured before doing anything else

once he's sure you're not hurt he would pull you into his arms, wrapping them behind your back

"why are you crying uh?" he would ask in his usual deep voice, like he's not really concerned

but his hands are slightly shaking, and if it's a person who caused your sadness, he's already ready to cut off their throat

♡

hanma would let you stain his shirt with your tears for as long as you need it

he would laugh at anybody else crying but you are the only exception

he would play with your hair until you stop crying or he would start smoking with you still in his arms

he would stay silent for the most part, simply humming whenever he hears a strangled sob coming from you

but in the end he would want to know the reason why you were crying

he wants to say a quick hello to the one who made you sad

tokyo revengers masterlist

[lsunstreakerl]

Feeding Pebble:

[Search History Verse]

Messages between [you] and [Chéri 💖]

Max: hey schat, can you do me a favor

Charles: yes of course

Max: can you feed Pebble for me

Charles: who is Pebble

Charles: do we have a new pet?

Max: Pebble is my sourdough starter

Charles: ...

Charles: .........

Charles: you know I hate that thing

Max: don't say it where she can hear you please

Charles: STOP TALKING ABOUT IT LIKE ITS ALIVE

Max: but it is alive

Max: that's why I need you to feed it

Max: I want to make bread later

Charles: maaaaaax

Charles: can't you feed it when you get home?

Charles: please?

Max: :(

Max: :((

Charles: please don't start with the frowny faces

Max: :(((

Charles: FINE

Charles: I will feed your creepy bread thing

Charles: never let it be said I do not love you

Max: :)

Charles is armed and ready. He's wearing the stupid gag gift apron Valtteri had gifted him last year, that says 'Blow the Chef!' In fancy cursive across the front. It's pattered with little dicks. He'd laughed so hard he cried when he opened it as his white elephant gift at the Christmas party, because none of them even cook their own food anyways.

Since then, it's been banished to the very depths of their hall closet, but he'd brought it out today, for this very specific warfare.

He does not want to get eaten by Max's creepy parasite bread thing. It's clearly infected his beloved boyfriend's brain, because it makes him feed it and water it and name it fucking Pebble, but it will not get Charles. He refuses.

He has oven mitts over both hands, and he's dragged a pair of goggles from their "work sponsored box of tricks" he and Max keep in their office. They're Redbull branded, from some kind of snowsports collab, but it's not like anyone's around to see it anyways.

He approaches the jar that's invaded their kitchen counter, uses a pair of tongs to gingerly lift the lid.

It pops and bubbles, and Charles feels his stomach roll. He hates this thing.

Next comes a salad spoon, which is 100% getting thrown away after this, as he scoops out a huge chunk of it, flinging both the starter and spoon into the trash bin.

He leans over to check his directions from Max again, reaching for the flour, dumping what is probably close to the right amount into the jar.

Pebble gurgles. Charles gags.

He grabs the water he'd set out, pouring it from as high up as possible while also leaning back as far as his body allows, squinting his eyes just in case Pebble is unsatisfied and decides to expand and eat him.

As soon as the water is in the jar, he's grabbing a stirring spoon, the longest one they have. He's only doing this for exactly the three minutes Max has instructed, because he feels like the white guy in a horror movie who's about to die.

Done.

The spoon also gets chucked into the bin, and he's slamming the jar shut, shoving it back to its corner of the counter.

He watches it tensely for a moment, the way it moves and pops inside the jar.

He fucking hates Pebble, stupid little yeasty homewrecker, taking so much of Max's time and attention, all while being ugly.

Messages between [you] and [Chéri 💖]

Charles: I fed the thing

Max: thank you <3

Charles: never ask me to do that again

Charles: I thought I was going to die

Charles: or it was going to explode

Max: but you like the bread I make with it?

Charles: that's different

Max: oh of course

Max: I appreciate you doing that

Charles: thank you

Charles: I was very brave

Max: I'm sure you were, schat

[steve0discusses]

S5 Part 51: Name Stuff

Hello, I did not die! Though don’t get me wrong, a mix of lingering long covid that gets me the flu every other week (I think I’ve had the flu well over 30 times last year, it’s been nuts) as well as other life obligations took me away from the blog for a bit. Which, I know, is a grand sweeping understatement for how long it's been.

But, what better balm than to discuss an old anime my bro and I finished like over a year ago and I’m only remembering distantly, like fondly revisiting high school. Except I’ll be real I did not go to my high school reunions. But revisit Yugioh? Of course I will!

In my absence, my computer died, and I had to move everything. A lot of files were corrupted, but mysteriously, not Yugioh. My computer destroyed hours and hours of client work and maybe hundreds of hours of personal project work and etc that I actually needed for a deadline, but it didn’t touch my Yugioh files because it knows better. lmao.

So while my memory is shady at best, last we left off, Yami had just been slammed dunked by the Kaiju that is Bakura that also has an appendage shaped like a dragon on a phallus. It was embarrassing for everyone.

So Yugi and company appeared, having just recently dug through the tomb that has Yami’s name and the ability to stick Zorc back whence he came.

You may wonder, if it took like 12 weeks to get to that tomb, how are we just flying through the air back to the capital? And the answer is because they spent most of that 12 weeks like barely moving around the city. It was, in fact, the racist genie who flew them there. Flying is just hellllllla efficient in Egypt geography. Don't worry about it.

Zorc/Bakura threatens them with these horse guys. Which like, I have to credit the animation team, that is a lot of animated horses in one frame, I would also reuse this clip of horses running like 8 times in a season.

Unless these horses got wings, give your hands a break and don’t draw (counts them) my god, there’s 6 horses here. 

This is such a season of excessive extravagance except where you actually need it. Which…is a lot of media in this era (looking at you, Kingdom Hearts) so I just have to accept these horses in plate mail that were done on company time, while the whirlwind whiplash of Yami’s ending of this season is just kinda left there hanging.

Yeah we’re gonna talk about that ending. Don’t worry this is the episode where I can finally start talking about the dead as hell and only getting deader elephant in the room. (I can’t believe he freakin died lmao what the hell, Yugioh.)

With the power of manifesting their thoughts into reality, they will play cards. Because that’s how these kids know how to communicate and solve all of their problems.

2004 Rachel would have said, if I had the power to use the last magical vestiges of the world as we know it to make whatever with a string of words, I would do something way more impressive than play a card game I can just do with physical cards. 

But 2024 Rachel knows all about how, when we finally had the technology to spit images together from a prompt, we immediately used it to break copyright law and ruin the ability to thrive and compete in the art industry so Rachel had to pull a new career out of her ass. No fun allowed. No creativity allowed. Only fake promises to encourage angel investors to get scammed of all their dollars before the technology eventually bursts its own bubble and disappears from relevance when not enough people actually use it.

So really, Seto Kaiba using the power of prompts to play cards means he’s the only venture capitalist to have ever existed that has done some actual creativity using AI-like tech. Sure it's database is unethical because it is made out of the souls of an entire city, but he would have at least turned that AI into a dragon he already owns full copyright of (because hell we know all about how well he paid Pegasus for the right to that art) and he would have used it to fight Zorc, just as god(s) intended.

Wow none of that rant made sense. I’ll delete it later. (jk, I won’t, I really need to post this thing)

Fueled with the power of “I don’t want to admit to Pharaoh that I’m illiterate,” Yugi fights Zorc with all he’s got. 

Relatable. I forgot how relatable this kid is.

Does Yugi ever realize he’s murdering the Bakura he's known a majority of this show? I…I don’t remember. Probably? Yugi probably knows, but is also like "there's enough doubt to ethically continue this fight"

They scoop up Yami, and today’s designated prone body carrier is:

Joey!

Good choice.

Their reaction to “Seto is here in this imaginary magical mind maze.” Is a lot of “Huh. Not even remotely surprised.”

I have a friend who has this thing about always wanting to go inside places she’s not allowed into. She even decided to take magic lessons from the Magic Castle. Why? Because she wants to go IN THERE. Seto is basically that friend. Except everything but taking magic lessons because he does not believe in magic or enjoy magic in any way (despite being a very competent wizard). We all have a friend who just appears in random places like Seto.

Faced with the ironic problem that has plagued them for over 5 seasons, They decide to use the airport cartouche that you may not remember from like 2 years ago when I wrote that episode. But once upon a time, Tea gave Yami a Girlfriend Gift, and so with the power of Vague Girlfriend, she’s gonna save his ass.

Seto realizes that despite everything, he is still here, and somehow despite all of that, Yugi is still getting his ass beaten by whatever the monster of the week is.

I’m also not 100% if Seto is aware that this monster is actually the ghost that lived in Bakura, his old classmate from that school Seto never graduated from, and his old classmate that once stabbed himself in the arm and then walked directly into his blimp to ruin his blimp party.

But Seto doesn't need to worry about whether or not this is ethical, he'd probably only try to kill him harder if he knew Bakura was ever in his class.

That’s right, his name is Atem. Which I personally found out in like Season 1 because this show is very old and people online like to use his name in the tags. But also, it’s fine, because Atem is close to that name Aten, which is in Egyptian Theology, or Puzzles and Dragons, whichever you are more familiar with. I’ll look it up later when my brain isn’t fried. Maybe.

Alright, let's discuss the first elephant. 🐘

🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘+++++++ELEPHANT RANT FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS BIT+++++++🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘

Pharaoh used his name once already in the past in order to stuff both Zorc and himself in their charms. That��s pretty straight forward. So…why isn’t it doing it again? As far as I can tell this is a recreation of what happened last time, so what's changed to prevent Pharaoh from getting put back in the golden tupperware?

The shadow game? Is it because this is a shadow D+D game? Was it not a type of shadow game the first time? I genuinely don't know, feel free to give your opinion about this because my bro and I discussed this in length, several times over this year, I have mulled it over, and I have no clue.

Pharaoh knows himself even less now than he did the first time he did this. Maybe the show is implying he’s more powerful this time but…this season really didn't build him up enough to seem that way.

And on that note, what does it matter if he finds his real name? Like yes there’s theological meaning there, especially in ancient cultures your real name had an actual power over your soul and so people respected it enough to even avoid using it.

But, Pharaoh hasn't been Atem in 5000 years, so Yami should have worked. Yami is connected to the puzzle and it's curse now. So is Yugi. So they never really properly gave us the significance of why this name is important. Like hell, why not just use "Yugi." He's wearing the necklace IRL, after all.

I can see the name being less of a symbolism and more of a key, since it was used to lock the puzzle the first time. But then…what are they using to lock Zorc away the second time? Still Atem?

Atem stuffed himself into a box and died. Yami lived in Japan and failed to attend high school. While there are similarities between the two, something I enjoyed about this season was seeing Yami realize he is different from Atem, with a different culture, different friends, different family, different guilt, and different responsibilities.

He’s a different person now. But for some reason the resolution to that was “actually, now Atem and I are one."

Which wasn’t enough for me. I think they could have handled this better. Yami going from a fragmented person to a full person by struggling with who he used to be was a great idea. That parallels Yugi/Yami's struggles with eachother in earlier seasons.

But Yugi just handing him some hieroglyphics was all Yugi’s doing. Yami spent his time finding his lost memories of his father and his friends. I feel like Yami never found himself in all of this. Just a name he isn't really attached to.

Not saying this season is bad or anything, cuz it's not, but some things could have been elaborated more cuz even if I didn't have long covid I think I would've been a little bit confused.

++++\🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘++++++

So, this will be a very long recap and I think that tumblr does limit pictures? Or at least they did a year ago? So part 2 of this episode will come soon, and sooner than a year, I promise. It's already in my drafts folder, it just needs some good editing.

And I truly mean that, like my bro edited this draft yesterday and today I realized I mixed up Bakura and Marik 2 times. 2 entire times. Damn. Like Both of those people are 2 people but Marik isn't even here! How did we both miss that!?

As always, you can read these posts in Chronological order, if you just got here and want to read like all 200+ episodes, by using "chrono" in the web address. Fun tumblr hack I love to use.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[h50europe]

BUCK/TOMMY putting myself into Tommy's headspace:

Buck frequently mentions Eddie when talking to Ravi, leaving us to wonder how often Eddie’s name came up with Tommy during their relationship. Picture yourself in a partnership where your spouse constantly brings up their best friend.

Tommy might have initially hung out with Eddie to get a better read on Buck, not because he was interested in a hookup. It’s a subtle move, but Tommy strikes me as someone observant enough to pick up on the vibes without needing a neon sign, and that is when he concludes Eddie isn't into guys.

However, Eddie stayed tight-lipped until the basketball court incident. That’s when he and Tommy finally talked about Buck. We never saw that conversation, which could have been a pivotal moment for Eddie to realize deeper feelings for Buck, if there had ever been any...

During this talk, Eddie must have mentioned something about Buck that rattled Tommy's cage because he was surprised that Buck was looking for his attention. He only kissed Buck after that confession, as if he needed confirmation from Buck himself.

So, Eddie was single throughout Tommy and Buck's relationship and not in a great headspace. There was Kim, the fallout with Chris, and who did Eddie call? Buck. And who was dropping everything and rushing to their aid—though in vain—Buck? After Chris left, it looked like Eddie became a constant in Buck and Tommy's relationship. I think we got a taste of it in the Halloween episode.

The 1. breakup in retrospect (with what Tommy said in 8.11): Aside from the cringe-worthy plot with Abby, Buck asked Tommy to move in with him, and Tommy denied it and reasoned it by saying he would be his first but not his last. But he actually meant that he did not want to sign up for a package deal with Eddie because he feared it could only get worse now with Chris out of the picture.

I know there is a lot of speculation as we - unfortunately - have never seen Buck and Tommy in any domestic scenes.

The competition issue: It’s less about jealousy in a traditional sense and more about wanting a relationship that doesn’t feel like a crowded room. Tommy’s not wrong to want that, but Buck’s so wrapped up in his bond with Eddie that he might not even see how it looks from the outside.

I can see Buck telling Tommy to invite Eddie or include him in going out because Buck didn't like the idea of Eddie alone at home brooding.

Tommy's "Okay" remark: Oliver said it was Lou's decision to play it that way, and I get it. This was not an "if you say so" acknowledgment. For me, it was an "I know that the guy is straight as an arrow, but do you?" Tommy knows about Buck and Abby; he could have done some research or heard something about Buck moving into Abby's place after she left, waiting for her to return. And now Buck moved into Eddie's place.

Given their awful lack of conversation, Tommy misinterpreted Buck's actions. Maybe Buck should talk to Tommy like he talked to Maddie: "As much as everyone seems to want me hopelessly pining for my straight best friend, it just isn't like that." And not, as he knew he did, "in the meanest way possible." Buck’s not great at self-reflection, is he? He’s all heart, no filter, and that’s what keeps this mess spinning.

From my POV, Tommy sees Buck having a hard crush on Eddie. Even if Tommy knows Eddie is not reciprocating these feelings, Tommy fears Buck will never love him (Tommy) wholeheartedly. That is the big pink elephant in the room. This is not about having more than one friend; it runs way deeper.

I don't even blame Buck for his behavior because he doesn't do it on purpose. That's why he takes it personally when Eddie is "leaving him behind." IMO, their friendship is a bit one-sided. While Buck pours his heart and soul into this friendship, Eddie does not. He sees it pragmatically because he has a free babysitter for Chris, and he has someone for the lonelier days in his life (meanly spoken, LOL).

Buck has a soft spot for Eddie. And Tommy sees that. We don't know much about Tommy's past, but he might have been in a similar situation once. Some past LI could have put their best friend above him for whatever reason, which was why the relationship fell apart. Even Maddie suspects her brother having a crush on his best friend.

All of this has a common denominator: Eddie is not gay or interested in Buck. Tommy knows that. But Buck's behavior doesn't prove that to Tommy, especially not after what Buck threw into Tommy's face after their night together. Tommy has a fine antennae. He didn't take it as a compliment when Buck told him he slept in the house for the first night with Tommy by his side because suddenly, Tommy felt reduced to a stand-in.

No wonder his demeanor changed. It’s like he realized he’s competing with a ghost that won’t leave, even with Eddie physically out of the picture.

Maybe they should have sex in Tommy's house next time. And maybe Buck should use Eddie's name a little less in conversations. It's not helping by making new friends. Poor Ravi.

Conclusion: Tommy’s caught between knowing Eddie’s straight and not being sure where Buck’s head (or heart) is at. Buck’s oblivious enthusiasm for Eddie muddies the waters, and Eddie’s just coasting along, not quite matching Buck’s intensity. It’s a tangled, messy triangle that’s not even a triangle—just a lot of crossed wires and unspoken truths.

Thank you for coming to my pep talk.

[gabrielapazlima]

THE LOGO THEORY

(part 2)

so lets see the rest of what we have,is a little more compliceted than last time...

soo a LOT of ppl are thinking that simon smokes is suppose to be crafty's contrapart because: two mystical animals and shy girl x popular guy...

is valid in some way...BUT

Crafty's main personality trait is not her shyness,like look at her name,CRAFTcorn,she is about creativity and seeing the world though another point of view...NONE of simon's main characterists are oppositing crafty's main and most crucial trait..so...why bubba?

Very simple actually,bubba is the typical nerd dude that always loves to share his knowldge w other critters,thats his main things- what is the most common opposing trait of a nerd in most medias?....oh sure a JOCK-

the popular dude,the rich and "cool" guy- that all the girls fall in love and always love to bully nerds...

do i need to say more...

ALSO elephants are know for spill water though their nose while dragons are know for spill fire though their mouth...

this one is also kinda hard to explain but also no....lets see

poe's wholw thing is being a grumpy and kinda dramatic emo bird,they like to do their own monotome emo stuff.... kickin for other side,his whole thing according w the logbook is about having fun and being a chill cool dude,being kinda of a laidback....they kinda the "chill guy x the grumpy one" dynamic imo

i don't think i need to say more....junk food x heathly food....this one is VERY oblivious....

so we only have maggie mako,the shark left,which is (following the logo theory) meant to contrast crafty in some way...i think she might be REALLY destructive to opposite crafty's creating nature..

lets see tomorrow...

[pianocat939]

hearing you out on the yan pavitr

YES PLEASE- ok I'm gonna start out this new thing where I separate things for romantic + platonic so people can scroll to different sections. (I'm such a good business person- /j)

I will copy and paste some of the headcanons because they apply both ways. So don't bother reading both unless if you want to because for the most part they're the same (with some light editing)

Tw: hardly any tbh-, delusional softie, uh- and breaking in

Yandere Pavitr Prabhakar

Type: Delusional + Clingy (This is really fucking obv ngl)

Romantic

Listen- He literally gives off so much delusional that I can't even tell you why he's delusional because it's literally written all over him omg. Now, the thing he is delusional about is you love him back. It's not in a malicious way; he genuinely thinks you love him.

He's not in any sort of way problematic or concerning with his actions/intentions. He'll be all caring and constantly giving you support. He's the type of guy who wakes up at five in the morning to go buy you a bouquet of flowers to greet you with when you get up.

If you try to push him away or express that you don't love him he just believes you're a troubled person and need more support in your life. Which means more affection from him. He is your therapist. He will be whether you like it or not because he is a softie and will continue to be a softie.

The only time I can see him getting the slightest bit aggressive is if he gets jealous. I'm not entirely sure yet because we haven't seen too much of any trauma or negative backstory to him (Uncle Ben's death canon event doesn't fucking count). I think he's about a medium level when it comes to how easily he gets jealous. Even then I don't think he would outwardly hurt anyone unless they've overstepped a boundary of his. He'll give them a slight threat or tie them up in webs for a while.

Now if anyone hurts you? Bro is going crazy- he will do everything to make the person surrender or maybe even die (if they've caused him enough anger) He'll worry so much if you get hurt. I wouldn't say he would overreact, but he definitely worries.

He is physically affectionate 100%. He will sneak in your window at night for snuggles. Imagine yourself standing at your window one night, knowing he'll come. He arrives and is about to slip inside when you frown and tell him no. He is going to give you the most heartbreaking face known to mankind.

He WILL call you embarrassing/cringe affectionate names. You can't convince me he doesn't.

"Jasmine flower! Look at the stuffie I got you!" *proceeds to hold up giant elephant stuffie*

Platonic

He literally gives off so much delusional that I can't even tell you why he's delusional because it's literally written all over him omg. Now, the thing he is delusional about is he thinks you wanna be friends with him. It's not in a malicious way; he genuinely thinks you guys are besties and constantly hang out. (tbh I feel anyone would be friends with him???)

He's not in any sort of way problematic or concerning with his actions/intentions. He'll be all caring and constantly giving you support. He's the type of guy who wakes up at five in the morning to go buy you your favourite drink or line up for a limited edition product.

If you try to push him away or express that you don't wanna be friends with him, he just believes you're a troubled person and need more support in your life. Which means more affection and suggesting hangouts or giving gifts from him. He is your therapist. He will be whether you like it or not, because he is a softie and will continue to be a softie.

The only time I can see him getting the slightest bit aggressive is if he gets jealous. I'm not entirely sure yet because we haven't seen too much of any trauma or negative backstory to him (Uncle Ben's death canon event doesn't fucking count). I think he's about a medium level when it comes to how easily he gets jealous. Even then I don't think he would outwardly hurt anyone unless they've overstepped a boundary of his. He'll give them a slight threat or tie them up in webs for a while.

Now if anyone hurts you? Bro is going crazy- he will do everything to make the person surrender or maybe even die (if they've caused him enough anger) He'll worry so much if you get hurt. I wouldn't say he would overreact, but he definitely worries.

He is a clinger 100%. He will sneak in your window at night for a hug and to talk about random things (he giggles a lot). Imagine yourself standing at your window one night, knowing he'll come. He arrives and is about to slip inside when you frown and tell him no. He is going to give you the most heartbreaking face known to mankind.

He WILL call you embarrassing/cringe affectionate names. You can't convince me he doesn't. Like Pookie Bear or just cringe names to call your best friend platonically cuz it's funny.

"My rat! Look! I have- WEBS!" *proceeds to shoot webs like it's a discovery even though he's known for six months*

——————————————————

That's all I got for now-

I still don't like Gwen.

- Celina

[malevolentconfessions]

[2/2] As for the elephant in the room that I feel like no one (including arthur and john talk about enough), HE'S NOT EVEN THE REAL EDWARD WILLIAM ALLAN. HE'S CANONICALLY JUST AN UNNAMED GUY THAT KILLED THE ENTIRE ALLAN FAMILY AND TOOK ON THE SON'S NAME SO HE COULD HAVE ACCESS TO THE ANCIENT VAULT UNDER THE PROPERTY. WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO HE ACTUALLY IS (<- also yes he fucking canonically bricked the whole family's bodies IN THE FUCKING CHIMNEY BECAUSE LILLITH TOLD HIM THEY'D GET RE-ANIMATED IF HE BURIED THEM IN THE GROUND). Him and Lillith consistently spoke to eachother in his nightmares for a year (aka much longer in dream time) and he never quite stopped being suspicious of her and their relationship (whatever it was <- I NEED TO KNOW. HARLAN PLEASE GIVE ME ANYTHING <- Their fandom ship name is pipe dream btw ^-^ (source: ME)) went shit when Lillith started getting impatient with him which directly led to him creating the fail-safe to trap her in-between worlds and him trying to get away, resulting in her (implied) killing him and him subsequently fracturing her

He's in such a weird position because he's literally such a nothing throwaway character who doesnt even appear onscreen outside of mentions and notes and likely mostly exists so John and Arthur can free Lillith in season 4 BUT ALSO?? HE? FRACTURED HER? AND LIKE?? SEEMED TO HAVE GOTTEN SOME LEVEL OF CLOSE TO HER?? WHICH IS VERY INTERESTING? AND OPENS THE DOOR FOR A VERY INTERESTING (DOOMED) PAST DYNAMIC. Even from the little we got of him (like the way he writes, his conflicting thoughts on Lillith) is enough to kind of create an impression of a possible personality (I hc him as an egotistical, kind of cold scientist-type who's simultaneously insanely weary of otherworldly things and deeply fears them but also finds them fascinating and probably craves some level of divine approval but thats just me and the 5 month long brainrot)(but also what kind of guy murders a whole family of 4 unphased, bricks up their bodies in the house he now lives in, LIVES IN THEIR BASEMENT and finds the alien infestation that are now in the house because of his experimentation just a "nuisance":sob:). Also the fact there is so much pre existing information about him and the multiple loose plot threads (like his real name and identity. Why set up that he had an unnamed brother?) that make me think that Harlan "loves season long set up and pay off" Guthrie surely has to bring him up again. But also he's so forgettable to most fans that the people that do recognise his name probably only think of him as a name in expedition rather than an actual fully fleshed out guy

He's a nameless guy who's forgettable unless you happen to hyperfixate on Lillith before she appeared and looked for crumbs, found his journal and then spent the next 5 months going insane over both of them ^-^ I am the bearer of the curse. He is my little scrimblo and he does not have an ao3 tag or a name. I'm actually losing it forever. I did not mean for this ask to be this long but I guess that's what confessions are for

LOL I'M SO GLAD YOU SENT THIS ASK I LOVE IT

[justeasing]

I'm starting to wonder if Hoyo is letting Genshin die so that they can allocate more resources to other titles...

We've all seen the massive decline since Fontaine. Fontaine was excellent! Fun, beautifully written, lush environment, characters that matched the setting and were teeming with story– Natlan has not.

Natlan has been a disappointment since day one.

Putting aside the lack of POC on the roster, it was disappointing because it wasn't the war-torn space overflowing with magma in the way we thought, where the shadows of dragons in flight loomed overhead, and you had to be careful going between warring tribes. No, instead, it's a BRIGHT! HAPPY place! Full of paint and dancing and Pokemon and– where... does the "war" take place, exactly?

Then there's the characters. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Kinich, but... why does he look like that? And why isn't Ajaw just a Saurian, or a proper dragon he summons, instead of a pixel waffle that yaps? And honestly speaking, if this was the design they were going for and he's supposed to be the hero of the Scions, why don't the canopies have pixel elements? Why aren't there holo-screens they use, or some more NPC costumes that are reminiscent of Kinich's headbands, jumpsuit, etc? There's no parallels to be drawn between people and place. Mavuika - the ARCHON - doesn't even look like she belongs there! And not to mention their stories...

Not a single story quest has been about the character. Yes, they are present, and you get a little bit of insight into their way of thinking, but overall? It's been about side-characters. Kinich? Enjou. Mualani? Atea. Xilonen? Little girl I can't even remember the name of. Citlali? Some dude from Fontaine, of all places. These are not CHARACTER stories. They're random NPC quests. They're not important and have barely any impact, and most were legitimately just... poorly written.

Then there's this weird emphasis on abuse in Natlan. Kinich was abused by his father, the girl from Xilonen's story was being abused, Citlali has alcohol abuse under her belt, AND Ororon was abused... Like what? Why? And now, even the current Lantern Rite is about DEATH. And not even in a poetic, sweetly heart-wrenching way, which can be done gracefully and with meaning, it's just... death.

"People are dying! Happy Lantern Rite!"

WHAT??? NO. WHY?

Augh... regardless. I'm starting to think Hoyo actually wants Genshin to fail at this point. I think they're killing their own game, so then it can just be shut down and blamed on lack of revenue or something along those lines. They want to push it into submission while amping up their more favored titles, like Zenless or Honkai. They're trying to make their newest game flashier, with better combat, etc. while Genshin is slowly sinking. They've already done it once... or has everyone forgotten Tears of Themis?

That's right. We have.

To be blunt, Genshin isn't keeping up right now. None of the fans are happy. They LITERALLY KILLED THE BEST CHARACTER - Capitano - and now there's a fandom-wide depression. Their system of in-game revenue is terribly unfair, and no one should have to hoard primogems for HALF A YEAR to get a character they might want while their current team is being silently powercrept out of relevancy. Not to mention, if you get a character like Sigewinne or Cahsca who are objectively awful, you're screwed! And how're you supposed to know they were going to be so bad until you've already leveled them to 80 and boosted their talent levels to match?

That's right. You don't.

And then there's the representation issue, the one I put aside at the beginning. The elephant in the room at every turn on the HoyoLab App. Whether it's yet another horrible redesign (We really need to stop, you guys. This is ridiculous.) or an argument in the comments, race needs to be addressed by this company, and they simply don't. And now, on top of all that is the Voice Actor situation!

It's stupid. They're a multi-million dollar corporation... they should be doing better, but they're not, and it's because of our own complacency. It's because we keep rolling over and hoping they just "do better" or don't even think this is trashy behavior to begin with. It needs to end. Hoyo needs to be held accountable. Or else, honestly speaking—

...I think they'll drown Genshin on purpose, and they won't even bat an eye.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | April 8th-14th 2024

Managed to put it out slightly earlier this time! 😆 This is still long af and there are still too many fics left in my ao3 inbox but maybe the mini hiatus will allow me to catch up!

As you can see I'm still enjoying podfics and I am happy to report that listening to Coma-Verse made me cry as much if not more as reading it 🙃 You can also looks forward to part 2 of my "BFF fic rec" series which will cover seasons 4 and 5, coming soon!

Enjoy! 😃

Complete

and with each one, i'm a little more free series by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Post-S7E4, Coming Out):

settle (<1K | General): Buck comes out to Chimney. so let the words slip out of your mouth (1,7K | General): Buck comes out to Eddie.

kiss him once for me by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (S7E5 Spec, Jealous Eddie | <1K | General): Eddie was perfectly happy and accepting about Buck’s sexuality, in fact, he liked to think he was the ideal picture of a best friend when Buck had told him. So, nothing changed between them. Or at least, nothing changed until he sees Buck and Tommy kiss.

when we're barely awake in the heat of the day's weight by trysetmeonfire/ @try-set-me-on-fire (BuckTommy | 1K | Mature): Buck wakes up at Tommy’s place and they have a conversation about taking up space

like an empty bottle takes the rain by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S7E4, Sexuality Crisis | 1,2K | General): "I was wondering. You and Tommy—how did you know?" There's a soft intake of breath. "That I was into guys? Or that I was into him?" "Either." Eddie shrugs tightly. "Both."

Yes, Daddy by Tizniz/ @tizniz (PWP, Daddy Kink | 1,7K | Explicit): And really, the shit eating smirk that graces Buck’s too pink lips should have been Eddie’s warning. But he’s so used to his best friend’s antics that he’s become immune to them. Or, well he thought he had. “Yes, Daddy.”

don't stand a ghost of a chance (with you) by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy Breakup | 1,7K | Teen): Tommy isn’t stupid. He knows the score from the beginning. But. He’s only so strong. And Evan is both hot as hell and supremely adorable. So Tommy kisses him, and asks him out, and tells himself that maybe he’s just been reading the signs wrong. Maybe Evan and Eddie really are just…very…close friends. He’s imagining things. They’re friends—or maybe Evan has a crush—but that’s fine. Evan asked Tommy out. So Eddie is…a nonissue. Tommy tells himself that right up until he can’t anymore.

don't want to be a fool for you by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Bachelor party, Madney Wedding Spec | 1,8K | Teen): Or, at both the bachelor party and the wedding reception, Buck looks at Eddie.

let’s get lost between the lines by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (BuckTommy, Post-S7E5 | 2K | General): “You handled that well,” Tommy said, as they left the restaurant and stepped out into this cool evening air. His words were soft, and gentle – genuine, even. As though he really meant it. Buck was baffled, frankly. “I handled that with as much grace as an elephant doing ballet,” Buck glared at his - his date? - incredulously. “Tommy, did you hit your head? Are you concussed? Do I need to take you to the emergency room?” or, after the eddie shaped hiccup of their first date, buck and tommy walk and talk - about coming out and why buck deserves a nice boyfriend.

good luck, babe by hattalove/ @hattalove (Outsider POV, Social Media fic, S7E5, BuckTommy Date | 2K | Teen): sometimes, when you've had a bad week, all you want is a romantic evening out with your wife over terrible pizza, and what you get instead is some kind of intricate gay ritual happening two tables away from you.

say my name and everything just stops by bellabrady (BuckTommy, Endgame Buddie, Getting Together | 3K | Not Rated): Or: Buck accidentally moans Eddie's name while making out with Tommy and it leads to some realizations.

behaving myself. by dylaesthetics (Secret Relationship | 3K | Teen): OR it’s just a regular day at fire station one-eighteen. No one’s acting weird. Nothing’s out of the ordinary. Everything's the same as it's always been. Right?

even for a phoenix (i’m getting tired) by hobbitprincess (Post-S5E18, Hurt Buck | 3K | Mature) : “You’re gonna be fine,” says Eddie again, and Buck hates that he can parse out the slight waver that wasn’t there the first time. Buck doesn’t have the heart to disagree with him, even if they both know it isn’t true.

This Old Love Has Me Bound by allyasavedtheday/ @littlespoonevan (Post-S7E4 | 3K | Teen): In an attempt to better understand his newfound bisexuality, Buck tries to figure out if he ever missed any signs with guys before. The universe keeps interrupting every time he's about to think about Eddie.

so much to say that's subject-sore by hattalove/ @hattalove (BuckTommy, Buddie Endgame | 3K | Teen): in which buck is convinced he's having commitment issues, tommy is there to hold his hand, and the tiramisu won't eat itself.

I get drunk on jealousy by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (FWB BuckTommy, Endgame Buddie | 5K | Explicit): Eddie calls Buck in the middle of the night at a not so covenient time, words are said, feelings are revealed and Buck's strenght is tested.

shoot another shot (try to stop the feeling) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Bachelor Party Spec, BuckTommy, Endgame Buddie | 5K | General): "He just. He won't let me in, Tommy. It's terrifying. I don't know how to help him because he's refusing to even admit there's something wrong." Buck scrubs a hand down his face. "I'm not crazy, am I? I'm not making things up? He's not himself, right?" (OR: eddie gets drunk and cuts a little too loose, buck tries to pick up the pieces and ends up getting more than he bargained for, and tommy is just happy he got to be with buck at least for a little while)

Threes Not A Crowd by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Buck/Tommy/Eddie, PWP | 5K | Explicit): Follow up to Buck's Boyfriends in which Buck's boyfriends take care of him. Incredibly well. (Part 2 of Buck's Boyfriends)

🔥 To Build A Nest (To Build A Home) by Kwills91/ @kwills91 (Post-S5E14, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): Five times Buck shows his love for Eddie via pebbling and the one time Eddie uses those pebbles to build a nest.

don't go breaking my heart. by dylaesthetics (S7E6 Spec, Madney Wedding, Getting Together | 13K | Teen): Coming to terms with being bisexual and being in love with his best friend is not how Buck expected to spend the month or so leading up to his sister’s wedding. But then again, life has shown time and time again that he has been put on this planet to suffer. - OR Buck can’t take it anymore and kisses Eddie in the middle of his sister’s wedding reception. He’s never been known for making good decisions. (Part 2 of heaven is you.)

🔥 Test Drive by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (PWP, Buck/Tommy/Eddie, Buddie Endgame | 28K | Explicit): In which Buck wants his boyfriend to give his best friend a queer awakening like he had. For no particular reason at all. While he also has the most inopportune "Oh" moment ever.

WIP

Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Threesome, BuckTommyEddie | 4/6 | 20K | Explicit): In which everyone has two hands and two holes and is keeping their options fluid. (Or: a collection of threesome fics.)

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 125/? | 389K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

What’s Your Order? by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy | 2K | Teen): 5 Times Buck Guessed Tommy’s Coffee Order + 1 Time He Didn’t Have To

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 8/18 | 45K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

🔥 Cowboy With a One Track Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergence, Not A Firefighter Buck | 1/4 | 6K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 7 (Land): Grieving and tortured, Evan Buckley has been living alone in Montana in a remote cabin for nearly a decade. After an incident that leaves him missing six months of his life, and suddenly in connection with a group of strangers from Los Angeles, Evan must decide whether to remain in his self-imposed exile, or take a chance at life again.

Podfics

🔥 [podfic] wedding bells by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for renecdote/ @renecdote (Friends to Fiances | 10-20 min | General): The background noise of the movie and the warm weight of his best friend against his side is lulling Eddie towards a nap when Buck breaks the silence. “Do you want to get married?” “Sure,” Eddie answers sleepily. “Fall wedding?” “What?” Buck frowns, and Eddie realises: oh, he meant do I want to get married generally not to him specifically. Then Buck is asking, “Why fall?”

🔥 [podfic] do you love me? all you gotta do is say yes by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Outsider POV, Friends to Fiances | 30-45 min | Teen): or, two boy best friends and an ex lover walk into a grocery store. everyone is on their normalest behaviour.

OK with being OK [Podfic] by blackglass/ @blackestglass // fic by S_lycopersicum/ @slycopersicum-in-disguise (Post-S5, Coming Out | 10-20 min | Teen): Buck was about 10 minutes away from the firehouse when his phone pinged. "Message from Eddie Diaz," Hildy's too-smooth voice announced, and Buck laughed at how Eddie's face would scrunch at Hildy knowing his business. "Wait in your car when you get here. I need to talk to you before we go in" Oh shit.

🔥 [Podfic] rainbows have nothing to hide by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge for hattalove/ @hattalove (Getting Together | 20-30 min | Teen): how is eddie diaz like kermit the frog? let buck and christopher count the ways. (Part 1 of the kermit verse)

🔥 [Podfic] Before the Night Fades by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge // fic by MilenaDaniels/ @milenadaniels (Post-S4E14: Survivors, Outsider POV | 45-60 min | Teen): “I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box. “Okay?” “Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who." --- Or, EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night.

🔥[Podfic] Close My Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) by Ceewelsh/ @mayonnaisetoffees // fic by HMSLusitania/ @hmslusitania (Canon Divergent, S1, Dispatcher Eddie | 2.5-3h | Mature): Eddie's PTSD is just that little bit worse and when he moves to Los Angeles, instead of joining the LAFD, he joins dispatch. Which is all good and fine, except for this one firefighter he keeps ending up talking to.

🔥[Podfic] i did, i did, i do by Ceewelsh/ @mayonnaisetoffees // fic by @hattalove (Canon Divergent | 30-45min | Teen): or the one in which, a couple of weeks after meeting each other, buck and eddie fell in love, broke up, and then forgot to fall out of it.

🔥The Evolution of Buddie [Podfics] by MistMarauder/ @gracieryder for InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (Post-Shooting, Getting Together, Eddie Coming Out, Warning: Homophobia)

[Podfic] Someone Told Me Not to Cry (It's a Lie) (20-30min | Teen): Eddie's fine, he is. Really. He keeps telling himself that until he accidentally calls Buck in the middle of the night after a nightmare.

[Podfic] Just Bros being Bros (45-60min | Teen): It's totally normal to kiss your best friend on the cheek. Eddie has no idea why everyone keeps giving him looks and thinking there's more there.

[Podfic] I was Sinking (Somehow I Forgot) (45-60min | Teen): Eddie tries to figure out just what he may or may not be feeling for Buck. Really, it only leaves him with more questions than any actual answers. His mind keeps twisting around, unable to let him settle with any certainty.

[Podfic] Ready to Suffer, Ready to Hope (S3E18 | 45-60min | Teen): Buck's the one hurting this time, and Eddie wants to help, but he's not sure how, or if he even can. Maybe, he was wrong before. Maybe everyone was. Because clearly, Buck's not as over Abby as everyone seemed to think.

[Podfic] Hard to Learn to Love (45-60min | Teen): Buck's helping Eddie fix Abuela's porch. Eddie's pretty sure he's possibly going to do something stupid, because he can't stop thinking about how much he wants to kiss his best friend.

[Podfic] Someday (Gonna be Free) (45-60min | Teen): Karen points out to Eddie that maybe, his ideas of what a relationship has to look like are something he needs to reassess. She lends him a book, and before Eddie knows it, he's having one epiphany after another.

[Podfic] Bittersweet Triumph (1-1.5h | Teen): Eddie's parents drop by for an unexpected visit. The only thing Eddie can think to do is damage control. Eventually they'd leave, right? Eventually, he could relax again. But he's quickly reaching a breaking point, and he's not sure what'll be on the other side of it.

[Podfic] Pivotal Moment (1-1.5h | Teen): Eddie's stood up to his parents, but of course it can't be that easy. They're still in his house, and Eddie's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He's frustrated, angry, scared even - and worried about so much at once he can't relax. It's not only leaving Eddie on edge, but Buck seems more and more tense, too.

[Podfic] Hello My Old Heart (1-1.5h | Teen): Eddie needs to check his parents have left - and either way, there's a lot he needs to work through about their visit. Good thing he has family, friends, and Buck to help him figure it all out. And maybe, it's time for him to start showing his hand more, with them all.

[Podfic] Unlearning Lonely After So Long (1-1.5h | Teen): It's the next morning, Buck's still there and making breakfast, and Eddie's realizing that while yeah, the list of things he needs to talk about - with Buck and others - definitely doesn't fill him with anything close to happiness, the rest of it? It's a kind of happiness he hasn't felt in a while.

[Podfic] The More Things Stay the Same (Getting Together | 30-45min | Teen): Eddie's realizing that, now that he's dating Buck, it's not that much different from before, really - except for the increased touching and kissing. That's new. Maybe that's why no one's caught on yet, and they're able to keep it to themselves for now.

🔥 Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars [Podfic]/@cal-daisies-and-briars by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 (Coma AU, Multiverse | 7-10h | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

Re-Read

🔥 Ace of Hearts by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): "I've been wondering…" Maddie pauses, watches Buck make a face like he's bracing to be smacked. "What happened with Eddie? You two were dancing around it for so long, and then… what, it just didn't work out? Was the date really that bad?" She's expecting another wince, or even for him to duck out of the conversation entirely, but instead Buck is staring at her like she's grown a second head. "Maddie. I've never been on a date with Eddie." Or: the poker game was a date. It takes Buck a while to catch on, though.

🔥 all good things come to an end (but it's not the end) by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Pre-S4, Quarantine, Friends with Benefits | 10K | Explicit): “Okay, hear me out,” Buck said. "What if we have sex?” Eddie could be forgiven for choking on his own breath, given how out of the blue Buck's suggestion was. “What?” “You’re my best friend," Buck gestured vaguely. "And in case you hadn’t noticed, we’re living through an actual plague right now, so neither of us is actually getting any. So who better to have sex with than each other?" - or, craving intimacy during quarantine, buck and eddie strike up a friends with benefits situation. because it couldn't possibly go wrong.

[eyesore-boi]

MY EDGE OF SLEEP THOUGHTS

Usually I don't really do review posts, but I figured I should here since we need to get the word out more and I have things to s a y -

And yeah i know it technically already made it top 10...but it's going down again...sooo.....chop chop we gotta punch judge judy in the face again :]

SPOILER WARNING BELOW, OF COURSE, FOR BOTH THE TEOS SHOW A N D ORGINAL PODCAST, SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Mainly this is gonna be talking about all the changes they made in the story and my thoughts on them, comparing the podcast to the show, but most of them are actually pretty positive! So, with that said, let's start with one of the biggest changes, that being:

The Maniac: So I know some people are kinda on the fence bout this, but me personally I don't mind that they cut out The Maniac! I get some people liked how their was a bit of a threat at the hospital while they were trying to figure things out, and Dave having the big risk of loosing his balls (tho i love the reference they did with the radio that was great XD), but...I kinda think that went against the point of this apocalypse, of it being a literal silent killer and not being like how the end of the world is seen in movies of chaos and violence, so having the Maniac out gave the group more time to process the situation at hand. That and how it allowed them to talk more and really show the character connections, like the talk Katie and Dave had after he recalled when he carved the triangle on his chest (more on that later)! And sides, least to me, I always kinda thought the Maniac was...a liiiitle tacked on? Like, with the story always kinda relating to Dave and his nightmares, having the Maniac just be some, well, crazy fucked up guy kinda felt outta place. Like maaaaybe they could've related him directly to being on the elephant's side (the sticker on his van doesn't count, that was just foreshadowing), like he was an elephant follower and he was following Dave even before shit went down, but with him just being some guy doing fucked up things, felt just like a tacked on extra threat. (Also I always kinda found it a little unlikely Dave was so easily able to go on and do a buncha other stuff after being literally shot, but eeeh is fiiine i guess-) With that said though, with the Maniac's absence, it does lead me tooooo

Ruth: I actually really liked Ruth's addition a lot! Was refreshing to see one other person in the survivor group, even if you know from the get-go she probably wasn't gonna make it, but that's good for the story! To show us another person's perspective whose out of the loop, how everyone else around her is struggling to keep it a secret, and how she took the place of the Maniac's for the MRI scan was much more impactful, having more weight to the situation since she was innocent and just found out when she sleeps, she dies, and seeing how hard of was on Linda to do, just mwuah amazing acting all around, but again more on that later-

The Dream People: Another change that I actually like, and even prefer! Tbh in the podcast I kinda felt like the whale people/dream warriors were...kinda vauge on what exactly they are? I know they were probably gonna explain that more in Season 2, but i feel like they didn't really...explain enough? Like they were just some higher people/power, nearing a deus-ex-machina, the old man and his son (forgot their names sorry) kinda broke up the story for me whenever we cut back to them (tho i do love the cigarette bit between him and Dave, sad that didn't make it into the show), and i was fine with that but eeeh coulda been handled a little better, and it was in the show! I like it a lot better that little Davey was always dreaming about them alongside the nightmares, since to Dave (and to the viewers seeing this story for the first time) he wasn't really sure on who or what to trust, which only adds more to the mystery of it all! I also like how their home base is more clear and giving slight cult vibes, but hopefully with good intentions (again we'll see in Season 2), so looking forward to learning more about them, even if this time I'm a bit more satisfied on how they're presented!

Mateo: HE LIVED!!! :DD I was actually really suprised that Mateo survived the plane crash! And I don't think i mind that too much, tho i kinda prefer the podcast ver a liiitle more since it added a bit more to the hopelessness of the situation that literally half of the party was dead, but eh more people living the better! Plus I do think Mateo was pretty fun in the show, I liked him and Dave's friendship a lot, especially with him being with Dave when shit went down at the party rather then going home to play video games pantsless, and i liked how we saw him stand up for Dave for being weird, true bros (i also really like the hug Dave gave him when he agreed to fly for them, that was really nice), so I'm sure there's more of him to explore with his veteran background and stuff, so can't wait to see more of him for Season 2! ....maybe then he won't be so lucky oh god- :'D

The Moobles: So probably, like others, the moment I heard that TEOS was gonna get a TV show, there was one scene on particular that I immediately thought of that I was excited to actually see, and that was the fucking Moobles scene- So was I disappointed that we didn't exactly get that scene? ...Yeah, a little bit, but I do understand why we didn't get it, and what we got instead still served the same purpose well! For one, I'd understand why that scene would be a lot for a +14 rated show, even if there is some pretty good gore throughout the series, bit i get multiple self-stabbings can kinda cross the line, but another reason is...I just don't think they had the budget for it. Like- How would they do the Moobles? CGI? Puppets? Either way I'd love to see it, but I knew it'd be pretty pricey, so I get why the Moobles had to be cut, wish they least had a small reference like the Maniac did (maybe the Moobles playing on TV somewhere or a display case showing the "toy" would be cool), but hey, if we can only experience that horrifying scene in podcast form, well, I wouldn't mind at all! Still fucking horrific in sound form and I love it :'D And sides, I actually prefer the new change for Dave's scar this time around! Tho I like the viciousness of having slash marks all over his chest, i think the single triangle scar fits much more with the stories and is great forshadowing of what's to come, giving a more concrete, direct link between what Dave has gone/going through and the killing sleep going on rather than just the warning the Whale gave him before shit went down! And the scene of him cutting in the injury was still pretty unsettling even if not downright horrific like Moobles-

The Clock: The clock was....n e w - I do like the visual of it tho, since at first it seemed like it stopped and ticked back each time a person fell asleep, but i do wonder...why is that? Is time literally going back each time a person dies? Or is it symbolic of just someone's time being up? If that's the case, then why does sometimes it ticks back a single tick, while others it goes back several? (Think an example of that was when Ruth was bout to die but i think i may be missremembering) I still like the addition tho, just wish it was a l i t t l e more clear, that's all :']

Katie: So even if there are some slight changes to her (like how she doesn't have the cast anymore, which i kinda get, they kinda really brushed over that after Dave talked to her about it once in the podcast, so i get why it was cut), I really liked where they went with her! Course may be a l i t t l e bias since we knew Lio as Lady, and for both roles they absolutely crushed it, but- It was great seeing more details about Katie! Like implying more and more that she had a drug problem in the past and using her rehab advice on Dave was very fitting, and though it was sad knowing she wasn't going to make it in the end, still loved all her scenes! Especially the incredibly tense scene where Dave has to run miles to get to her house to make sure she doesn't sleep, passing by empty streets and sleeping bodies, and Katie (reasonably) hitting Dave on the head when he broke into her house, ooohoho that was good- And i remembered at first i was slightly surprised that Katie died in the plane rather than locking herself in the car, and at first i thought "Oh it's just to make it more impactful, for Dave to fly with his ex's corpse right next to him, so close to safety, yeah that's screwed up :/" ....then the ending cliffhanger shots were shown and ohohOHOHOHO THE SHOT OF KATIE IN THE WATER STARING DOWN THE CAMERA WITH TRAINGLE EYES, IMPLYING SHE'S GONNA BE A H U G E THREAT IN SEASON 2, OHOHO LOVE THAT SHIT-

The Dream Chamber: A new addition/change that I don't mind tooooo much, but i am a little confused on. In the podcast, little Dave's treatment was to be isolated away from society for 18 months with just him and his mom, nothing else as to not be used against him in his nightmares. And while here i can understand a little why they cut that (i mean each ep is only 20 mins so chop chop), the Dream Chamber scene was pretty interesting! The doctor was weird but i think that was the point (never trust a man with a bowl cut wig) since i remember there was one shot where there was an elephant ceremic (i think) in his office, and when talking about the chamber he had these strange flashes, one including a whale dying in a graveyard, so i think that's implying he's on the elephant's side and was only going to harm Dave more, thus why the Dream People made little Davey stab him in the neck (which i was s h o c k e d on when i saw, btw), but my problem is...we kinda never really go back to Dave's past after that? In the podcast, it was proven that the therapy worked for Dave so he could live out his life as a normal person until the Moobles happened, but here...we don't really know what happens after? Did the doctor die when he got stabbed? I don't think so since there'd have to be some legal trouble braught up because of that, and nobody mentions the doctor dying after that, sides it was just like...a kid stabbing him, so yeah it'd be pretty painful but maaaybe not that deadly. Did Dave get better after that? Probably not, probably is just prescribed more pills once he was old enough, but...in both podcast and in show it's braught up the concern that if he doesn't get the nightmare fixed soon when he was young, it'd lead to huge developmental issues, but Dave seems...mostly normal when older, nightmares and triangle carving aside. He still has a social life, albeit a small one, got a girlfriend, and even a job, so...did the treatment work? A little unclear, kinda wished they just just stuck with the cabin therapy, but it's an easy lookover, and maybe they'll elaborate more in season 2, so we'll just hafta see!

The Elephant: For me personally, i think the elephant monster face is kinda hit or miss under the right circumstances, like the first scene with the nightmare about Dave's mom turning into one, that one was real spooky and the flashing lights actually aided to it in my opinion, but...when it's just in broad daylight and on any person....yeaaah i can kiiiinda tell it's just a mask, hell i think it is the same one being re-used, but eh i think it's fine, just kinda wish they got a bit more creative with the elephant imagery to make it more eldritch and stuff like with the Whale, like that one shot of the Elephant being barely seen on the static on the TV at the party, that was cool, but it's fiiiine it served it's purpose well enough-

Baby Dave: Okay not too much of a tangent on the actual show, just something i thought up on, but...fellas. Markiplier community. More specifically, MCU community. We have an irl face for baby Dave. Ergo, we have a face for baby Mark. Ergo....we have a face for baby Actor, Damien, and William...I am expecting fanart soon and quick 🔫👁

Linda: I really loved Linda in the show! Eve did an amazing job getting across how intense and high strung Linda was, probably even better since we can see how stressed she is! Seeing her actual break down over Brit's death was great, to show she still is deeply disturbed and broken about the whole situation, and i think that was especially needed when she did the MRI on Ruth since in that scene she is crying, but with the knowledge she experienced the same thing with Brit, you can tell this isn't easy for her, but she is willing to do anything to figure out what is going on so the small group of people she barely knows can live. Also, MORE LINDA LORE OOOOO- Was not expecting that, for her to work in a secret government project before, but think it fits well! Explains why she's a little intense and weird, plus let's the audience know this truly can't be some government weapon since she knows of all the gov weapons in the works, so that was really cool to learn of her!

OST: MARKUS E. PLIER. AMAZON. QRCODE. S O M E O N E. YOU BETTER DROP THAT OST SOON CAUSE I W A N T - But for real i l o v e d the soundtrack throughout the series, it all fit the vibes perfectly, keeping things tense at tense scenes and heartfelt at heartfelt scenes, and those beats just mhmhmh- Also i adore the intro, soft, old music being used in a creepy morbid context with visual seeming out of place but once you watch the whole series it makes sense ohohoho gimmie that shit anyday- Speaking of...

Visuals: Touched upon this a bit earlier with the Elephant and the gore, but i liked the visuals a lot! Course i knew it wasn't gonna be movie level stuff or anything (some shots of the Whale are a b i t imposed at time but it's fine), but i feel like they knew what they were able to do, and did it to the best of their ability, and they did! I do love the gore, even if a little small, the brain cutting scene was amazing, very spooky, the funeral hallucination at the end was crazy with everyone bleeding out of their eyes and ears looked real good and intense, and the final shots with all the bodies waking up with triangles in their eyes oohohoohohohooo i loved that shit so damn much i am so hype for more p l e a s e -

And, finally, last but certainly not least, Dave: As to a suprise to nobody, least to those already in the Markiplier Fandom, Mark's acting was on fucking point. In every scene he was in, whatever he needed to sell, he sold it perfectly. Whether that be in distressed and concerned, confused and scared, angry and in dispair, he did it all perfectly, I fucking loved it. Like fuck- The scene where Katie dies, the desperation in his voice as he pleads for Linda to give her more adrenline, as if that'd fix it, having to be pulled back in his anguish, f u c k - And the scene before when he carves the triangle into his chest, waking up just in time to give an almost dazed, dead look to Katie as he asks sluggishly "what's wrong?", adding to the horror of his self mutilation. GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT- My only "complaint" i guess is that i wished he had a few more lines/scenes with dialog, but maybe that's just wishful thinking since i'm so used to him talking on and on and on and on both in the podcast and just in the channel in general, but even then i couldn't be happier with his performance!!

Infact, everyone did fucking incredible! If you're reading this and you still haven't watched TEOS yet...what the hell are you doing go watch we gotta beat the crap outta Judge Judy BUT also go watch for the incredible acting, special effects, soundtrack, story, just EVERYTHING that is Edge of Sleep! It is definitely worth your time, it's only 2 hours so it's super easy to binge, and tho i am a little pissed like everyone else that Amazon/QRCode/Hollywood execs are tryna bury this thing so Mark/other well deserved YouTubers can't have their work be put more out there, well...we're showing them now, aren't we? >:]

TLDR: This is the best sleedge i've had in my life so go watch so you can sleedge yourself. Alright bye. *backflips then dies*

[nyxdreamweaver]

Local albino boy forgot everything but his name

Jason's POV

Word count: 7,491

Warning: Swearing, spoilers to TLH (canon will derail starting now)

Likes ❤️ , reblogs 🔁 and comments 💬 are much appreciated :3 Lmk if you want to be tagged for the next updates

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Ever since he woke up from his sleep, Jason’s day continued to get weirder.

First of all, he found himself in the backseat of a school bus full of unfamiliar kids, just like his dream, but this time, he was physically there. They were loud and chatty. Some were using weird machine boxes with long wires that go inside the ears. And second of all, Jason doesn't remember anything in his life beyond his first name, which should be a concerning thing to think about right now but there's a bigger issue he needs to worry about: 1) Jason is inside a bus with a bunch of strangers who he doesn't know, 2) he don't know if they know him or not and 3) sitting there with zero reconciliation of his life. The second a student or the teacher looks his way and asks who he is, he's doomed.

‘Just stay still. If I don't move an inch, no one will notice.’ He internally said to himself, trying to make himself look as small and quiet as possible. ‘Just stay calm and wait it out so long as no one talks to me.’

Just then, someone took his hand and squeezed it. “Hey, are you okay?”

‘Fortuna….’ “I’m okay, don´t worry, I'm fine-” Jason said when he turned to face the mystery person and was stunned. Next to him was a girl wearing a light blue fleece snowboarding jacket, a pale tan shirt, and hiking boots. Her dark brown hair was long and messy, with two braids split from her neck and thin strands sticking out from the sides of her face. She was really pretty, with her eyes shining brightly like amber itself, and the loose hair ends were shaped like tiny hearts.

‘So pretty…’

The girl blushed, making him realize he spoke out loud. “I’m sorry-”

“No, no, it's fine considering that we're dating…”

“Right, right…wait what?”Jason said, perplexed. “We're dating?!”

The pretty girl looked at Jason, her face showing a mix of Are you serious? and is this a joke? “Jason, are you trying to play a prank? We're not that dumb enough to fall for that kind of joke.” She said, patting his hands.

“Yeah, that's usually my job.” A boy sitting in front of Jason and the pretty girl turned to face them. “Are you trying to get me fired, JJ?”

He looked like a Latino dryadalis, with long coily black hair, pointy ears with gold piercings, a cheerful, round face with a Septum, and a mischievous smile that told you right away this guy should not be trusted around matches or sharp objects. His long, nimble fingers wouldn't stop moving- drumming on the leather seat, sweeping his hair behind his ears, fiddling with the buttons of his army fatigue jacket, Either the kid was naturally hyper or he consumed enough sugar to give an elephant a heart attack. Wait..

'What’s a dryadalis? And how does he know that?'

“You should leave the pranks to me and Pipes over here.” The elf boy pointed to the girl, who's Piper. “We're basically experts. Remember the time when we snuck into the chemistry lab during gym and made that huge stink bomb to put inside Mr. Joseph's room?”

“Oh my god, yes! Also, when Leo convinced us to sneak out outside to the farm area and gather a bunch of chickens to put them in the principal's office? I was laughing so hard when-” As the two started exchanging stories, Jason stayed quiet as he soaked in the new information he found.

These two Piper and Leo - are his friends, which means that he belongs on the bus so he can't get in trouble and they might know where they are. Though there is something that's still causing him confusion.

'Why can't I remember them?'

With perfect timing, a teacher from the front shouted, “All right, cupcakes, listen up!”

The man was obviously a coach, with his baseball cap pulled over his head, but you could see his beady eyes. He had a goatee and a very sour face- like he just ate twelve slices of lemon in one go. HIs buff arms and chest pushed against a bright orange polo shirt. His nylon workout pants and Nikes were surprisingly spotless. A plastic whistle hung from his neck, and a megaphone was clipped to his belt. He would've looked much more scary and intense if he was taller than five feet. When he stood up in the aisle, a student yelled out, “Yo, stand up, Coach Hedge!” making everyone but Jason in the bus laugh.

”I heard that!” Coach Hedge scanned the bus for the heckler when his eyes fixated onto Jason, his scowl deepening. A jolt went through Jason's spine: he knew it, he wasn't supposed to be here, and only Jason and the coach knew the truth. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the man to drag him from the back and throw him out of the bus, but Hedge looked away and spoke to the kids.

”We will be there in five minutes. Stay with your partners and finish the worksheet I'll give to you once we are there. If any one of you comedians crack another joke about me or cause any sort of trouble during this trip, I'll personally send you cupcakes back to school via airmail.” As if to demonstrate to them, he picked up a plastic bat and swung it like he did a home run.

“Is he allowed to speak to us like that?” He whispered to Piper, who shrugged. “He always does, this is Wilderness School ‘where the kids are the animals and the teachers are the zookeepers' She said it like it was an inside joke they shared. “We are all here for a reason: we broke the law, and now we have to pay for our crimes.”

“It has to be a mistake, I don't belong here.” Jason said, wanting to be understood. “I didn't do anything wrong!”

Leo snickered at that. “Yeah, sure. None of us did anything wrong! I didn't run away six times, and Piper didn't steal a BMW. We were all framed for our crimes!!”

Piper's face flushed, swatting her hands at Leo in fury. “I already told you a million times, I didn't steal that car!”

“Right, you 'talked' to the dealer, and he 'gave' it to you, a fourteen year old.” Said Leo, raising his eyebrows at Jason like, Can you believe her? while Piper buried her face in her hands and groaned. “Honestly Pipes, you shouldn't feel embarrassed about it, it sounds cool as fuck. We should do that when we get out of here.” She groaned even louder.

”Quiet in the back!“ Coach Hedge screamed, almost dropping his sandwich on the dirty floor. “Trying to eat over here!”

”Ah Coach, never change…anyways.“ He turned back to face Jason. “You got an extra copy of the homework sheet from Mr. Joseph? I already used mine for spitwad and shot them at the band kids earlier, are you okay 'cause you're staring at me like I have something on my face? Did Gavin draw it again during science, they swore that they'd stopped doing that.”

“I..don't know you. I don't remember anyone or anything!”

Leo gave him a creepy crocodile grin. “Sure… I'm totally not an evil clone made to replace your awesome best friend.“

“Leo Valdez!” The coach yells from the front again. “Is there a problem back there?“ Leo winked at Jason and Piper before yelling back, “Sorry Coach, I couldn't hear you from here! Can you use your megaphone?” Coach Hedge grunted, looking pleased to have an excuse to use his new megaphone while the other kids groaned. He unclipped the megaphone from his belt and continued giving directions, but his voice came out like Darth Vader’s voice. The kids started cracking up. The coach tried again, but this time, the megaphone blared: “The cow says moo!” The kids howled in laughter, and the coach slammed down the megaphone.

“Valdez!”

Piper stifled a laugh. “My god, Leo. How did you do that?” Leo slipped a tiny Phillips head screwdriver from his sleeve. “I’m a special little boy.”

“Guys, seriously,” Jason pleaded. “What am I doing here? Where are we going?”

Piper knit her eyebrows. “Jason, are you joking?”

“No! I have no idea—”

“Aw, yeah, he’s totally joking,” Leo said. “He’s trying to get me back for that shaving cream on the Jell-O thing, aren’t you? I already said sorry.” Jason only could stare at him blankly. Why doesn’t these guys understand that he has zero memories about them or anything about his entire life?

“No, I think he’s serious.” Piper tried to take his hand again, but he pulled it away. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t—I can’t—��

“That’s it!” Coach Hedge shouts from the front. “The back row has just volunteered to clean up after lunch!”

The rest of the kids cheered as Leo huffed.

“There’s a shocker,” he muttered. But Piper kept her eyes on Jason, like she couldn’t decide whether to be hurt or worried.

“Did you hit your head or something? You really don’t know who we are?” Jason shrugged helplessly. “It’s much worse than that. I don’t know who I am.”

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The bus stopped right at the entrance of a big grey building that resembled a museum, just sitting right in the middle of nowhere, 'Maybe that's the name of the museum: The National Museum of Nowhere, where we have no historical value.' he thought before Coach Hedge snapped him out of his thoughts. “All right, everybody get off in a single file line- HEY!! No pushing Ethan, I see you!” Soon every student got off of the bus as Jason’s head swirled around trying to take in his surroundings. Dusty earth safe metal railings were there to protect any bystanders from falling into the chasms nearby and the blazing sun rays rained down from the skies above to bless them with terrible sunburns (Rip JJ).

And yet, a cold breeze blew across the desert making the boy shiver. Jason hadn't paid attention to what he was wearing, but it wasn't enough for the cold weather: light blue jeans and white sneakers, a purple T-shirt with a weird acronym, and a thin black windbreaker.

’SRPQ? What kind of fashion sense did I have?’ He thought, glancing down his t-shirt.

Coach Hedge starts passing down sheets of paper to the students, yelling out loud directions as usual. “Listen up, I’m not gonna repeat this twice: I have enough sheets for only half of the class so stay with your partners, NO trios!” He glared at Jason and his ‘friends’. “And make sure not to lose them or else you’ll be running three miles during the weekend with the track team.”

As Coach shoved a paper into the trio’s hands, Piper sighed. ”Damn,” she said. “How can we stay together? Should we ask to be in a group instead since there aren't a lot of people?”

Puzzled, Jason asked. ”Didn't Coach say 'no trios allowed'? He literally looked at us when he said it!”

Leo patted Jason's arm since Leo couldn't reach the top of his shoulder. ”Oh Jason, Jason, Jason. We're troublemakers, so we kinda, you know, break the rules, no matter what teachers say.”

“Not the time for jokes, Lee.” Piper scolded the latino, “I think he does have amnesia. Maybe we should tell Coach or call 911 for help.”

“Hello? This is Wilderness School. We don‘t have phones to call for help! And plus, if we ask Coach for help, he would just smack JJ’s head with his bat and just say ’Suck it up, cupcake.’”

“Okay, I just want to say this: I don’t want to get my head smacked.” Jason inputted.

Piper pinched the bridge of her nose in. “Well It’s better to ask than wait it out. Look, after the field trip we’ll ask Coach to take us to the local hospital and get Jason checked out, okay?”

“Right, right,” Leo nodded, “Oh, I can fit in Jason’s shirt! I am pretty small, so I could totally hide in it easily!”

“Goddamn it, Leo!”

Suddenly, a large hand grasped on Piper's shoulder. One of the boys from the class fell back to them while the class was heading to the museum. The new guy forced himself in between Jason and Piper, and pushed Leo aside.

“Yo, Piper, where have you been? You’re my partner for the day, excited?” The new guy has a dark brown Superman haircut, a deep tan, and teeth so shiny that the dentist should’ve given him a warning label to warn everyone: Do not look directly at it, permanent blindness will occur.

Everything about this guy rubbed Jason the wrong way, like there was an aura surrounding him saying Don’t mess with me or else. He had a Dallas Cowboy jersey, light blue western pants, and black boots, and he smiled like he was blessed with pure beauty by the gods themselves and were sent here to melt the hearts of delinquent girls. Jason immediately wanted that guy dead and left in a ditch.

Jason growled at the guy while Leo glared straight at the creep so hard, lasers would've come out and melted the boy's face.

The stranger held up his hands in the air like he was caught by the police. “Woah, woah. Calm down boys, I'm just here to pick up my girl. I promise to bring her back after the field trip.”

Piper scowled at him, shooing him away, “Actually Dylan, I’m going to partner with my friends.”

“I don't know if I remember correctly but Coach said no trios so...” He pestered, leaning in closer.

Leo grabbed Piper’s arm and pulled her closer to him and Jason. “Back off Dylan, she’s already in a group. Why do you go chuck one of your hockey friends into the Grand Canyon or something.”

Dylan looked down at Leo and howled in laughter. “Okay shortstack,” he snorted, pushing Leo away, almost making him trip, and dragged Piper away. She shot a glance at Jason, pleading to him for help, who- while uncomfortable and shocked- clenched his fists but, in the end he did nothing to help.

“Fucking idiota,” Leo remarked, after they walked into the museum. “Almost wrinkled my jacket because of him.” He dusted from his cargo pants and held out his arm for Jason. “Look at me! I’m Dylan! I have the best hair and so many girls throw themselves at me. I should marry myself because I look so hot!”

For the first time today, Jason laughed as Leo bowed down to his singular audience member. “Thank you! Thank you! I'm here to entertain.”

“As funny and accurate that was, who was that jerk?”

Leo stared at him blankly, like he just admitted that he talks to trees on the weekend. “Wow, you’re really dedicated to the whole ‘amneisa’ act, huh?”

Jason played with the loose worksheet in his hands. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

“In my defense,” Leo said, “It does sound a bit crazy- like it sounds like you stole the idea from a really bad movie.” He held out his hand, palms opened, right at Jason. “The worksheet, please.”

Jason raised an eyebrow.

“What?” He asked, “You know these sheets they give us are complete bullshit, most of the time you could find the answers on the internet- that is, you have a secret phone they didn't take from us in orientation.”

He points to himself with his thumbs. “Besides, you have me- I’ve been cheating the system since we got here. All you have to do is write the answers in a messy way, that way Coach Hedge couldn’t read it and would have to give us a good grade.”

While Jason isn't sure about that plan, one thing he is sure about is that he doesn't understand anything from this worksheet like ‘name three sedimentary strata you observed’ and any attempt on understanding would strain his brain. He gave the paper to Leo.

“Thank you. So.. you’ve lost all memories of basically everything you´ve ever known?”

Jason nods.

“So that means… I can reuse my old jokes on you!! Oh my god, this is the best day! Come on!”

Jason smiled as he followed Leo into the museum.

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They walked through the bleak building, stopping at one place onto another while Coach Hedge talked about each exhibit with his megaphone, still making him sound either like a sith lord or blast out phrases like 'The pig says oink!’ confusing the museum workers passing by. During this, Leo grabbed a bunch of miscellaneous items from his army jacket (some bolts, two wooden popsicle sticks, a thin red wire, etc) and started fidgeting around with them. To keep his thin hands busy.

The two walked behind the class a few paces back, Leo had the folded paper shoved into his back pocket, with all the ‘answers’ written on it, leaving them some free time.

Jason was too absent minded to pay close attention to the lectures or the giant paintings about whatever, but he heard some passing words from the Coach, apparently this museum was about the Grand Canyon (duh) and the Hualapai tribe who currently owns the building.

“So, here's a simple crash course about your life here, my amnestic friend,” Leo said, in a helpful tone that made Jason believe that this wouldn't be so simple. “We go to the 'Wilderness School' – Leo made airs with his fingers again. “Which means we're 'bad kids.' Your family, or the court, whichever came first, decided that you were a danger to society and they shipped you off to this lovely prison– sorry, 'boarding school'-- in Armpit, Nevada, where you learn valuable nature skills like running ten miles every day through the cacti and weave little daisies into hats! And on special days when we all 'behave,' we all get to go outside to the public for 'educational' field trips with wonderful teachers like Coach Hedge, who keeps us in line with his baseball bat and threats on our livelihoods. Is it all coming back now?”

“No, sadly.” Jason glanced at the other kids: around twenty guys were here and around fifteen girls. No one looked like hardened criminals, but he wondered what they'd all done to be sent to a school for delinquents, and he wondered why people thought he belonged with them.

Absorbing all of the information, Jason asked a few questions. “Ok… Who am I? Where was I from? How.. did we,” He gestures both to him and Leo. “became friends. I don’t wanna be rude but you two are a bit.. hyper.”

Despite playing around with the objects, Leo grinned up at him. “You? You’re Jason, the poster Boy Scout, basically- a wet blanket but in a good way. If you were a type of dog, you would’ve been a Golden retriever with how sweet you are and with a terribly high moral compress. I have no clue how you ended up here considering how you barely cause trouble at school. Rather out of the three of us, you stop us from causing trouble. You also never talk about your home life or how you got your cool scars on your hands, which is fine since half of us here have pretty bad experiences in our lives and don’t like to talk about it. There was this awesome girl I met a few years ago: she didn’t talk about what happened before we met and she also avoided the topic of home often except that one time, but that’s private. Unlike me and Pied Piper who came at the beginning of the year, you came into the middle of the semester, very determined not to speak to anyone, very guarded and cautious but me and Pipes pestered you so much that we kinda grew on you and we've been best friends ever since. We basically saved you from a life of loneliness, specifically your social life.”

Jason nodded along, searching through his mind to remember any sort of memories. But came up empty handed.

“Now Dylan- that’s the creep who’s torturing Piper right now- is a jerk. No questions there. Anyone who crosses him would end up in a full body cast. If me and Pied Piper weren't here, you would've immediately attempted to fight the meathead in the name of justice and probably lost, badly. No offense.”

“None taken, continue.”

“And Coach Hedge is the new gym teacher and the baseball coach- like Piper and I, came at the beginning of the school year. He uses his bat to hit us soft enough not to catch a case but hard enough to make us regret causing problems. Sometimes I always feel like he could just see through us whenever we hang out but I could be seeing things. Piper recently became your girlfriend after the shooting stars event a couple weeks ago. And I’m your super cool best friend who you worship the very ground I walk, anything jogging your memory?”

Jason strained his brain again for something- anything that could help him! But he just couldn’t.

“..Nothing.”

Leo patted his back, an awkward attempt to comfort his friend but Jason appreciated it.

A few meters away, a trio of girls were snickering and looking at Piper, who at the moment is suffering under Dylan’s long and winded talk on why he would be a much better boyfriend than Jason (Boy please.) Jason assumed that they were the popular clique, from their matching skinny jeans, cotton pink acrylic nails and enough clumpy makeup for a halloween party.

One of them said, “Hey, Piper, doesn’t your tribe own this place? Did you do a rain dance to get in for free?”

The rest of the girls laughed. Even Piper's partner Dylan couldn't stifle a smile at the rude comment. Jason saw Piper's arms trembling, though he could tell that she's clenching her fists.

“If you don’t remember, my dad and I are from the Cherokee tribe, not Hualapai tribe. Not that you've got enough brain cells to understand the clear difference, huh Isabel?” Piper retorted, frowning.

Isabel widens her eyes in ‘fake’ surprise, like an owl with huge glittery eyeshadow mocking her. “Oh, I'm sorry. It was probably your mom who was a part of the tribe. Oh, wait. You never met her!”

Piper ignored them, but Jason was ready to punch them himself, glaring straight at the girl herself. He might not remember Piper, or even who he was, but he knew deep down in his heart, he hated mean kids.

Before Jason could storm over to the group and punch them straight in the face, Leo caught his arm. “Be cool. Piper doesn’t like us fighting her battles. Besides, if those girls found out the truth about her dad, they’d all be bowing down to her and screaming, ‘We’re not worthy! Spare us mercy, dear Piper!’”

“Why? What about her dad?” Leo laughed in disbelief. “You’re not kidding? You really don’t remember that your girlfriend’s dad—”

“I wished I did but for the hundredth time, I.don't.know.anything. I know nothing about Piper, my supposed ‘girlfriend’, I know nothing about you, my ’best friend’. Why do you think I know who her dad is?”

Leo whistled. “Whatever. We have to talk after we get back to the dorms. You owe us a sleepover for this act you're pulling. Anyways, Pipes can handle those girls because-”

A loud squeal of pain echoed through the halls as the previous girl, Isabel, had her hands on her nose, small blood stains painted on her white sleeves. Her friends panic and scream while Piper smirks from their reactions, her right hand was covered in the same blood from the crybaby. At times like these, Jason would’ve felt sympathy for the other person but she had it coming for being a jerk.

“Coach Hedge! Piper just punched Isa!” One of Isa’s minions screeched, making everyone stop and stare. “She’s bleeding from her nose!”

There, Hedge stopped talking about why the Grand Canyon was red and turned to face the commotion. “McLean! Did you punch Johnson?!” He shouted with his megaphone, afterwards it said ‘Bahh go the sheep!’

Jason started to sweat. His girlfriend was about to get in trouble and probably be punished. He quickly turned to where the girls were standing. Instead of being scared of being caught like what Jason expected her to feel, Piper only gave Coach a glare and placed her hands on her hips. She seemed to give off a sense of confidence and power, like some sort of beautiful goddess…

“No I didn’t. She just bumped into one of the pillars and hit her nose, right Mary?” Mary, who looked like a deer in headlights at the attention, came in defense of Piper. “Y-yeah! I saw Isabel bump her nose against the wall!”

Soon, everyone started to whisper that yeah, they didn't see Piper punch that girl, that Isabel just bumped into one of the museum's pillars or something else. While Jason did notice the blood on her hand, he didn't see Piper hit the girl at all and if she says she didn’t do it, then there was no way she could've ever do that-

“That’s why.” Leo remarked, grinning wider than the cheshire cat himself.

Coach Hedge looked back and forth at the two girls before signing. “Wilson, take Johnson to the museum front desk. They should have some sort of first aid kit for your nose. Everyone else, we'll keep moving.”

Isa’s lackey took a crying Isabel to the front desk in the opposite way while the rest of the class continued down the halls.

Jason was jaw dropped, 100% shocked by the whole scene while Leo was laughing at his reaction. “Oh my god, your face was so funny!!”

“But, how did she do that!? I thought she was gonna get in trouble.”

“To explain that scene, for some reason Piper can be very pervasive to the point where no one can ever pin us down for our crimes. And if they do figure it out, we just hide behind you and you can just scare them away.” Leo twirled with his hoodie strings. “Honestly, it's super helpful after we cause too much chaos and we get caught red handed. You’re like our bodyguard!!”

Jason stared at the latino in confusion and a bit of sadness. “Am I really that scary?” He

“Not that scary not by me and Piper's standards but to other people, they say you look pretty intimidating. Even some of the teachers are scared of you, minus Coach Hedge, but he's a whole other breed of man. I remember this one time in gym class,”

While Leo was chatting up a storm about one of 'their adventures' again, Jason swore he saw a faint pink swirly mist floating around Piper but quickly shaked that thought away.

'I really gotta figure out what's going on...'

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

Finally, the class reached the far end of the exhibit hall, where there were large glass doors that led them onto a glass terrace.

“All right cupcakes listen up,” Coach Hedge announced. “You are about to witness the Grand Canyon. Don‘t break the glass. The skywalk can hold up to seventy jumbo jets, so you featherweights should be safe out there. If possible, try to avoid pushing each other off over the edge, I don’t want to deal with any paperwork.”

The Coach unlocked the doors, revealing the Grand Canyon in its full beauty. Everyone then spread out across the skywalk, which was a long horseshoe shaped walkway made of protective glass, where you could see below the canyon.

“Damn,” Leo said. “That's so cool.”

Jason agreed with Leo on this, even with his memories erased and this weird feeling in his stomach that he doesn't belong here, he couldn't help but be in awe at the sights.

The two stopped by one of the railings as they soaked in the view. Despite everything that’s been going wrong since he woke up, Jason can admit that he still found the chance to admire the view. They were all so high up from the round that the birds were circling below them. At the very bottom of the place, was a sky blue river with green fora running on the side. Meanwhile in the sky a couple feet away, banks of storm clouds had been moving closer since the class was inside the building, casting dark shadows upon the cliff sides. The bright red clashes against the soft orange striking downwards, like a sacrificial stuffed bear being cut open in the Augur temples, and was burned for an omen…. Wait, what?

Jason felt a piercing pain from his eyes increasing. ‘By the gods, why do I keep thinking about stuff like that?’ Jason groaned. His brain racing around, warning him that danger is here.

“Hey dude, you okay?” Leo injected. “You look like you're gonna hurl right into the canyon.”

Jason grabbed onto the railing for support. He was sweating and shivering, it had nothing to do with heights. He blinked, and the pain behind his eyes subsided.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” he managed. “Just a headache.” Thunder rumbled, and the dark clouds seemed to be getting closer to them.

Leo nodded and turned to the sky. “Damn, those dark clouds are over there, but the rest of the sky is clear.”

Jason looked up and saw that Leo was right. A circle of dark clouds had surrounded the sky walk, but besides that, it's all clear skies. He had a bad feeling about it.

“All right, cupcakes!!” Coach Hedge yelled. He frowned at the whole weather situation. “We may have to cut this short so hurry up with those worksheets!! Remember to write complete sentences.“

The storm rumbled and Jason's head began to hurt throb again. Not knowing why, Jason slipped his hands into his pocket when he hit a solid metal. Pulling out the mysterious object, in his hands was a gold coin- one that is the size of a half dollar, but thicker and uneven like the craftsmith made this blindfolded. Stamped on one side was a picture of a battle-axe. On the other was some guy's face wreathed in laurels and on the other side were the initials ivlivs engraved.

[“Can I open my eyes now? I wanna see it!”

“Almost, little birdie,” Someone answered, a girl. “I just need to find it. Just keep your eyes closed.”

After a while, the girl spoke. “Okay, it's ready now! Now hold out your hands but don't open your eyes till I say so.”

Jason nodded and held out his hands, making sure not to peek. As he waited, a cold metal was placed in his pudgy hands. “Okay, open your eyes!”

He quickly opened his eyes and looked down at his palms to find…

“It's.. a coin?” Little Jason asked, holding up the gold coin. ”I thought I was getting my weapon today, why do I have this?“ The girl in front of him laughed as he watched in confusion. Pushing her auburn curls out of her eyes, she kneels down to Jason’s height and smiles.

“No JJ, it's a magic battle sword disguised as a coin. Whenever you need a weapon during a fight, just flip this coin…” She tossed the coin into the air and it transformed into a giant sword. Catching it, the sword turned back into a coin. The auburn girl handed it back to Jason who was staring in awe at it. “And poof! A giant sword you can use to slay your enemies!! Made it enchanted just for you to use.”

“Woah!!” He exclaimed, vibrating with joy. “This is so awesome!! Thank you Cyra!!” Then right before he ran out the room, Jason quickly hugged Cyra. “Thank you sis. This is the best birthday gift ever!”

Cyra looked taken back, being called ‘sis’ before ruffling his shaggy hair. “You're welcome, kiddo. Happy birthday..”]

“Hello? Earth to Superman! Are you still there?”

Suddenly, Jason found himself back in the present and both Leo and Piper were standing next to him sighing in relief. Their eyes shined with concern as they scanned him for any signs of a problem.

Leo was the first to ask. “Are you okay? You've been staring at that coin for a while and I got worried. And then Piper came to hide from Jerkface when she saw you stuck in a weird trance too.”

Piper nodded, reaching out for his hand before hesitating, thinking he wasn't comfortable. “Is your head getting worse? We can take you to the front desk and call an ambula-”

“No! No, no. I'm fine. I keep having these.. weird headaches.” Jason said, choosing not to tell them about the flashback.

´I should wait till I can find more information,´ he said to himself. ´This isn't just normal amnesia.´

“Okay you’re great and all, but where the hell did you get that coin!?” Leo pointed at the gold coin. “Have you been holding out on us!? Where did you get this?”

Piper pinched his arm. “You dumbass, that's not important right now.” She looked back at Jason. “Are you feeling alright? We can ask Coach Hedge to go to the front desk for help.”

Before Jason could speak, someone interrupted him.

“Mclean! Stop lazing around and finish your worksheet!“ Yelled Coach Hedge, his megaphone emitting a grating squeaky noise making everyone outside cover their ears.

Piper groaned. “Uggh, I don't wanna go!! Dylan is so annoying and he isn't helping on the worksheet. He's just goofing around or flirting with me…”

Leo patted her shoulder. “Do you need me to cause an ‘accident’ and send him to the hospital? All I need is a spork, tape and two needles.”

“As great as that sounds making him suffer, Coach would somehow know it's us.” Piper sighs. “Besides, I can handle it for a bit longer.”

“Yo, Piper~” Dylan called out. “Where are you, sweetheart?”

The trio cringed at that. “Actually, I might be able to get you some needles and a spork.” Piper said.

Then, Piper left to return back to her personal hell, leaving Leo and Jason alone.

“So,” Leo interjected. “Where did you get this coin?” He pointed at the strange coin. “I've never seen that design before.”

“It's nothing.” Jason said, slipping the coin back into his pocket, fully knowing that the strange coin is a clue to what's going on.

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

While Jason was staring out into the open sky counting the number of birds he's seen (he's currently on fourteen birds), Leo was leaning on the railing too far close to the edge, making Jason nervous that he’d fall in. He may not remember his time here at the school or the people he's supposed to know, but Leo and Piper have slowly grown on him and Jason didn’t want to see either of them get hurt.

“Psh, hey. Watch this.” Leo said in a hushed tone revealing what he had. In his hands was a handmade helicopter, each part was made from the items Leo had earlier. He twisted the tiny wire connected to the two popsicles sticks, making it spin upwards like a helicopter and started flying in the direction of the canyon. Leo began cheering and kept leaning in closer to the edge, he was so close from falling that Jason quickly grabbed onto the army jacket to hold him back. The helicopter was halfway across the chasm when it the blade stopped working, making the machine slowly fall into the canyon, and breaking at the very bottom.

“Damn it!” Leo grunted, slamming his hand on the metal rails. “It broke again.” Frustrated by his failure.

But Jason thought otherwise. “That was so cool! How did you do that? You just built that out of popsicle sticks and rubber bands and it flew across the Grand Canyon!? That is so. so.” There were so many words Jason could use to describe what he just saw: but he knew not to never underestimate Leo Valdez from what he’s seen.

Baffered by this reaction, Leo tried to degrade himself. “I mean- it was pretty easy. Someone else could do it better. Plus, it fell halfway when I wanted it to fly to the other side, so...”

“But you made it fly, that's still so..amazing! You should be feeling proud of it. You have a talent for engineering.”

Leo's eyes widened, looking a bit flustered by the compliment. “Huh.. thanks Supes. It’s nice to hear that, even if you lost your memories.” Wanting to say more, Jason opened his mouth to keep complimenting his best friend, Coach Hedge unintentionally ruined the moment when he yelled at some kids trying to sneak away with his megaphone, still stuck in the Darth Vader voice.

“Step away from the doors or I will make the principal send you all to the solidarity rooms!” Clearly, Coach's threat was super effective because the group quickly retreated back to where they were previously.

“What are the solidarity rooms?” Jason asked. “Are they that bad?”

Leo shrugged. “I don't know much about them since I never went there but you went in there once after a lunchroom fight with these guys Ethan and Brian and you somehow ended up in the crossfire. The two of you were then sent to the solidarity room for around four days.” He pulled out a red rubber band and played around with it as he continued talking. “Once it was over and you were sent back to the dorms, we tried to ask you about the whole thing but you had this….weird blank stare like you just stared into a black hole for five hours straight.”

“After that, you made us promise to never go in there. Piper and I were confused but made sure you never went back there again.

“Huh..” Jason said, looking downwards in the canyon, now counting the number of weeds he sees on the side. “This is all so confusing…”

For the first time today, Leo was quiet, tapping his fingers on the metal railing while he looked in deep thought. “Honestly, this whole ‘losing your memories out of nowhere’ thing is the most confusing thing ever! Just before we left school, you were all fine and dandy, but right after you woke up, bam! Every memory you’ve ever had was wiped clean.”

“Do you remember when we first met? What did we talk about then”

“I think we talked about….” Leo frowned. “Shit, I don't know, man. I have ADHD, you can't expect me to remember every little detail.”

“Well I don't remember any of you at all. I don't know anybody here. What if-”

“That you are right, and everyone here just has fake memories about you?“

A little voice echoed inside his head. ´Not quite…´ But the whole thing sounds crazy, every kid here just took him for granted. Like they know he's supposed to be here- except for Coach Hedge. He might know something about Jason.

“I'll be right back.” Before Leo could protest, Jason walked across the skywalk. The only people he has seen in this building were the workers and his class. Maybe they had the whole place to themselves or maybe the class scared away the tourists from here. Most of the kids were done with the worksheet so they spent the time talking with their friends or joking around. Two boys Jason passed by were tossing pennies down the Canyon. And about fifty feet away was Piper trying to focus on the worksheet but Dylan was busy harassing her by putting his hand on her shoulder and flashing his blinding teeth at her. She glanced at Jason, mouthing out to him. Please punch this guy right now Jason motions her to hold on, making a mental note to beat the shit out of Dylan later.

Jason finally reached Coach Hedge, who was staring right up at the dark clouds, which had tripled in size, holding out his bat.

“Did you do this?” the Coach asked him. Jason took a step back. Was he talking about him?

“What do you mean?” By the way Coach was asking, it sounded like he believed that Jason made those storm clouds.

Coach Hedge glared at him, with his beady eyes peeking out from his hat’s brim. “Don’t play with me, kid. What's going on? and why are you causing problems at my job?”

“You mean.. You don’t know me?” Jason said. “I’m not a student?”

Hedge snorted. “No, no, I´ve seen you at the school, you’re a student here, but then something else is wrong here...”

Jason was relieved to hear that he almost cried right there. He was supposed to be here! He wasn’t an outsider! “Okay thank you for the confirmation, but something else is wrong here.”

Coach Hedge scratched his head in confusion. “What d'ya mean? You gotta go to the bathroom or something?”

“No, not that! I can’t remember anything about my life! Like someone wiped my memories clean.”

“I see…” Hedge's gruff voice dropped into a murmur, like he was sharing a dark secret. “The Mist surrounding you is a lot different from the other two but something else has been messing with my nose. I've been smelling monsters for a couple of days now. There must be an infiltrator hiding in the Mist as well, but you don't smell like one. You smell like a Half-blood, so speak the truth- who are you and where did you come from?”

Most of what Coach Hedge said made absolutely no sense but Jason decided to answer honestly. “I don't know who I am. I have no memories to explain where I came from and you need to help me.”

Coach Hedge studied his face like he was trying to read Jason’s thoughts.

“Great,” He huffed. “You're speaking the truth.”

“I am, and what do those words mean!? Half-bloods and monsters? Is this a game?”

Hedge narrowed his eyes. One part of Jason was seriously thinking this guy is nuts but another part of himself said otherwise.

“Look, kid,” Hedge started to explain. “I don't know who you are but I do know what you are, and that causes more trouble for me. Now I gotta protect the three of you rather than two. Are you the special package? Is that it?

When Coach Hedge said, ‘special package’, something jolted in his brain. He had heard that before.

“What did you say?”

Hedge looked up at the storm again. The clouds were getting thicker and darker, hovering right above the skywalk.

“This morning,” Coach Hedge said. “I got a message sent from camp. They've sent an extraction team currently on the way. They mentioned something about a ‘special package’ being here but they hadn't given me enough information about it. I thought to myself, ‘Fine. The two I've been watching over a year are very powerful, older than most. And there's a monster stalking them, since I've been smelling the scent in the school halls so that's probably why camp was so frantic about getting them. But then you pop out for nowhere with no registration, health insurance or any sort of legal documents under your name- yet you're enrolled here. So tell me- are you the special package?”

The pain behind Jason’s eyes returned much worse than ever. Half-bloods, Camp, Monsters. He still didn't understand what Coach Hedge was talking about, but the words gave him a massive brain freeze- like he knew what those words mean but something or someone was blocking all knowledge about it.

He stumbled and the Coach caught. For a short man, he had arms of steel. “Woah, there, cupcake. You say you have no memories, right? Fine then, I'm gotta have to protect all three of you from this threat. Once the team arrives here, we get back to camp and I'll take you to the director.”

“What director? What is this camp?”

“Just hang tight. Reinforcements should be here soon. Hopefully nothing happens-”

Lighting cracked across the sky and the wind picked up speed with a vengeance. Worksheets and other kinds of papers flew into the Grand Canyon, and the entire bridge shuddered. Kids start screaming, stumbling around and grabbing onto the rails.

“Me and my big mouth.” Hedge grumbled. He bellowed into his megaphone: “Everyone Inside! The cow says moo!! Off the skywalk!”

“I thought you said this thing was safe!” Jason shouted, the wind drowning him out.

“Under normal conditions, yes,” Hedge agreed,”which this isn't. Come on!”

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

Taglist: @punkeropercyjackson @dontspillthefrijoles43 @puriteenism @aurantiumred @yawnwhatyadoing @emmidemi @justhereforthememesnangst

[donotbelasagne]

sorry to hear you're struggling man :( sending you love and happiness!! here's a question that I think about a LOT. if jeremy dyson's 'tlog but everyone wakes up with a tail' idea from apocalypse had actually been made, what kind of tails do you think the characters would have?

Yes!! I made notes during a work meeting lmao

Gonna be honest with you, did this purely on memory which means there's slightly more Reece characters than Steve/Mark, because apparently I don't remember their names (and I didn't want to go "that guy that bothers disabled people").

Chinnery - monkey. It would have a live of its own and it would fuck things up real time.

Judee - Horse. I mean. Look at her. Look. At. Her. Horse (girl) through and through.

Edward - hyena. Bit shit, bit cool. Maniacal laugh.

Tubbs - squirrel. She would throw it over her shoulder and pretend it was a scarf/pet.

Pauline - Badger. Neat, beautiful and stinky :)

Micky - goldfish. He'd be so happy with it as well.

Ross - chinchilla. Not truly a rat, but quite rat like. He would be so not happy with it as well.

Charlie - zebra. Gay version of a horse tbh

Stella - mermaid. No I will not take any questions at this time. Does it replace her legs? Does it need water to survive? Not telling you.

Barbara - Lion. She deserves it.

Harvey - lizard. Because toads don't have tails.

Val - chameleon. Like a lizard, but cooler.

Benjamin - wet cat. Doesn't matter what state he is in, tail always wet cat.

Pops - hippo. When he shits, it gets everywhere.

Bernice - dragon. Because I say so.

Herr Lipp - mouse. Prove me wrong.

Papa Lazarou - shark. Took me ages to come up with this one and I'm still not very happy with it.

Cave guide (can't remember his name soz) - donkey. I actually wrote donkey for multiple Mark characters, so I guess that's just his energy.

Hilary - cow. It would make him cry tears of joy.

Ollie - Peacock. Imagine how fucking annoying that would make him.

Tony - elephant. Purely and solely because he has a massive cock.

Lisgoe - chihuahua. Look at him lmao

Brian - giraffe.

Let me know if I've forgotten any big ones, because I've put zero thought into this. It was a great experience.

[antiscorbutic]

welcome to my polar explorers sideblog !

books n things ive read / some thoughts etc (updated frequently)

> Endurance - Caroline Alexander

what I started with. v good read imo pretty succinct and flows nicely. not too hero-worshippy iirc, nice pictures

> The Worst Journey in the World - Apsley Cherry-Garrard

I read (listened to) the audiobook narrated by Simon Vance and really liked it! tbh I wasn't super deep in to all this when I started it and was kind of shocked at how readable it was. my favorite part is birdie's letter about the land crabs.

also in general it's really nice to get an actual pov account -- the secondary books are lovely for helping muddle through sources and stuff but I get annoyed with how much time is spent on the Famous bits and not the unglorious monotony, which i love hearing about. I gotta read some actual diaries

> Madhouse at the End of the Earth - julian sancton

JESUS I did not know anything about the belgica going in AND I'd just watched aliens (1986) and WHY are there narrative parallels this shouldn't be real??? also amundsen is a real freak (<- value neutral)

> Endurance (2024)

uhhh sorry kids I hated this. I know it's based on the guys book but like the parallel heroic narrative thing was so icky to me. also the AI voices were giving "we didn't want to pay voice actors" and!!! fucking pointless to end it when you find the ship I want to know about the ship!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to watch a doc about the ship not about some people who found the ship. tragic for me

> Shackleton (2002) - TV miniseries with Kenneth Branagh

actually loved this. there was clearly so much attention and care put in to little historical details and even with all the silly dramatic Kenneth monologues i really enjoyed it

> The Great White Silence (1924) - Herbert Ponting

fucking WILD that as a card carrying member of the attention-span-ruined tiktok generation that as soon as I found this I was GLUED to the screen for the full like 2.5 hours or however long it is. seriously jumpscared by the cat's racial slur of a name (as ever) but honestly it's a good reminder of the colonial context we're in here so I kind of appreciate it. anyway absolutely mind boggling to see this early footage of the adelie penguins etc when I grew up watching them in planet earth and have always kind of taken their existence for granted. and I think the telling of the actual polar journey was pretty touching for being obviously like the same 15 seconds of footage of a miniature

> Endurance - Alfred Lansing

eh I didn't need to read both this and the caroline alexander book. it was fine. I always wish they'd spend more time on the elephant island castaways and less time on the small boat journey. I get that that's the like, famous impressive part, but I'm here to be reminded of the horror that it is to be alive day after day and I think more time should be spent on that monotony. also he didn't talk about the post-expedition AT ALL and I need my little "where they are after the reality TV series ended" title cards

> Amundsen (2019)

didn't finish it. too much back-at-home drama not enough being on the ice

> The Last Place on Earth (1985)

I haven't read the scott v amundsen book it's based on but jesus whoever wrote that must have fucking hated scott. I'm not saying they're wrong necessarily I'm no expert i AM saying hes wrong fuck this guy!!!! but holy shit did scott look like an incompetent asshole even compared with all the other incompetent assholes. needed more screen time of young hugh grant as cherry

> basically any bbc special about explorers

PLEASE correct me if I'm missing anything but lord I stg every one of these is the worst pro imperialism hero worship bullshit of all time. "james cook was a really nice guy actually" are you fucking kidding me

> empire of ice and stone - buddy levy

this is my first arctic account and I have. a lot of thoughts and feelings about the way arctic expeditions interact w indigenous people that I don't want to get into here. truly baffled by the number of polar bears they interacted with. also fuck stefansson so much like okay fine you left the ship but go find it again??? fucking rescue them?????

> in the kingdom of ice - Hampton sides

okay this might be my favorite modern account I've read. I love how much context is provided ... like I have Thoughts and Feelings about John Muir but his diaries being included and GOD Emma's letters being interspersed was fucking devastating. definitely the most emotional I've gotten. and all the interludes to explain the geography of a region and what its called now or in russian and even all of the many chapters about bennett added so much for me. AND giving full accounts of each group after they split the party without one getting only briefly summarized in favor of the other but also without making the timeline confusing???? -- I say this all even though hampton committed what to me is the cardinal sin of these books: skipping time that's "boring". a whole year of monotony??? julian sancton only you understand me

> labyrinth of ice - buddy levy

augh. OUAGHE. oughe!!!! I am devastated. good book :(

> alone on the ice - david roberts

not my favorite .... the author is clearly bitter that mawson is not as famous and heroic to history as someone like shackleton. also I really think he should have stuck to a linear narrative structure instead of jumping around. zero mention of possible cannibalism

not historical but overlaps / scratched a similar itch:

> outlaw ocean - ian urbina

modern investigative journalism on lawlessness on the high seas. fucking hard to read because it's largely about like, human trafficking. even the "light" stories are still rough. really, really good read though and i liked hearing about recent trawling and whaling in the south and thinking about it in relation to historical whaling etc

> frozen planet (2011)

I mean I'm a huge sucker for any attenborough nature doc esp the planet earth extended universe but this was also specifically produced around the 100th anniversary of amundsen & scott reaching the pole and I love to think about the boys seeing the penguins and seals etc for the first time .... wonderful stuff

> the thing 1982

I think I'm probably the last person to watch this one so I don't think I can add much commentary but as someone who has seen approx. 3 horror movies and two were alien and aliens I did not think it was as scary as it could have been. I do like a horrible Beast though so maybe that's on me

currently in progress!!!!!!!!!

> Erebus - Michael Palin <- I have the ebook instead of the audiobook so I'm making my way through it slowly :-)

> ice ghosts - Paul watson

other things I have out from the library but haven't started:

> eight bears - Gloria dickie (not directly relevant but highly recommended to me)

> late Victorian holocausts - Mike Davis <- a little too academic for me to parse easily but Mike ily and I think it's healthy to read about other things happening around the same era

> left hand of darkness

> against the ice - Ejnar mikkelsen

> to the edges of the earth - Edward larson

^ huge s/o to @jesslovesboats's sad boat books lists btw for helping me find more sad boat books that my library has audiobooks of <3 (im very much an audiobook guy so while I'm frothing to read more diaries and shit I have a hard time with it. yet another tragedy for me personally)