#i don't have money to buy it anyway so it's ok

[red-racing-cars]

[frogeyedape]

I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs

Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this

Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU

SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.

so. 1) not a violation

I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw

I have disputed the fact of the violation

I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH

So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)

OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket

[crazysodomite]

This shit really pisses me off 😐

[ehszter]

just what i needed thank you

[littleragondin]

omg dying to know your thoughts about the fact that sparkling water is what comes out of public drinking fountains in paris??

Well, I mean, it's only like what? 10, 12 fountains across the whole city who do deliver sparkling water? (edit: alright there are 17 all in all as of today's google search lol) And thanks heavens and what not, they are SO heavily advertised as such there is no risk of ever mistakenly getting The Worst Water Ever instead of the fresh nectar of the gods that is fresh plain water 😌👌

Couldn't deal with it being the standard though, like why would you ever do that to people, I ask. No one deserves this 😔

[subsequentibis]

'nother big post of closed species guys i've designed since folks were nice abt the last one :)

mignyans (alien parasite crabs that infect a host and cause the thing-esque meat to manifest on their bodies):

^ free anniversary event design! they do a scavenger hunt every october for traits and it's always a good time

^design i did as a guest artist for the species! using the new mineral deposit trait that was added after the last anniversary event

^ this is one of my favorites i've ever done. i love you channel wvmb you will always be famous to me.

^ this one and the next one were designed based on premade crabs! this one's the same species as the first mignyan i ever designed

^ this one goes with the sun & moon one :) wizard & apprentice

^metalhead!! bloody remnants logo designed by my wonderful fiance

starlyngs (avian creatures that are personified stars i think? i'll be honest i'm less clear on the lore i just think they're neat):

^ shithead extraordinaire who is in trouble all the time for stealing & conning people out of valuables

^ freak.

[six-of-ravens]

Oh, and another thing I learned the other day: apparently the point of raising the interest rates so much was to "discourage consumer buying" which is insane bc like, "we don't want people to buy things so we're going to raise the cost of living, and then complain when people aren't buying houses and can't afford rent or utilities" is horrible logic. But also I think Millennials and Gen Z have lived through too many harsh economic times for this to work. "I'll never be able to buy a house so I'll just keep buying my little treats" is a common mindset and, frankly, a justified one. Like yeah, the cost of takeout may have gone up a few bucks, but the cost of a house has gone up thousands of dollars. I'm no closer to buying a house than I was in 2020, and if my rent goes up another $250 next spring all the skipped lattes in the world won't help, so I'm still gonna get my little treat.

[astrxealis]

i miss dos2 i miss my lil elf guy

[voids-ideas]

Ok I am going to do this simply because the first thing I will put here I NEED to do it and I have 0 motivation to do it even though it is EXTREMELY important

In fact, I think that's the reason why I don't want to do it... anyway

If this gets to 30 notes, I do that thing ✅️

50 notes, I call to ask if my doctor's appointment has been scheduled (I've been avoiding it for two weeks now) ✅️

100 notes, I go wash my shoes that have long needed washing and are just sitting there, existing, waiting for me to deign to wash them. ✅️

200 notes, I finish organizing my room (I organized it halfway and then left a bunch of things that still don't have a defined place) ✅️

500 notes, I use the things I have to bleach and color my hair. The only thing that has stopped me is the fear of doing it wrong or being too lazy to maintain it. ✅️

1k notes, I stop doing things that I know will trigger my chronic pain with the pure intention of confirming that the pain was indeed real (don't do this. 0 recommended) ✅️

5k notes, I try some new food without fear of wasting money by buying something I most likely won't like (my autism hates new foods) ✅️

10k notes, I wear my bi flag earrings in front of someone I wouldn't usually wear them with. I trust that they possibly wouldn't have a problem with me being bi, but I would never get up the courage to tell them anything ✔️ (I haven't, but that person was in my room next to where the earrings are. They were 0% hidden) ✅️

20k notes, wtf I have absolutely no idea. If it comes to this, ehhh... Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing here. Do I promise to be honest in therapy and stop telling them that everything is perfect even though nothing has ever been perfect? Yeah, that probably works. Please don't go this far, I don't know how to do this. Maybe I should... but... it would be awful to learn it

April 2024: I stop procrastinating editing this post with the things I've already done. I WANT THE HAIR SO MUCH BUT IT'S SO DIFFICULT

May 2024: Red hair, red hair, red hair. I'M CROWLEY, RED HAIR!!!!!

[luckyladylily]

So there is a lot of bad stuff going on right now, and I'm sure there are lots of people feeling hopeless and thinking of suicide. Well, I've been suicidal for 21 years and I have a few practical pieces of advice for surviving that I rarely see in other places but I think have done more to keep me off the ledge than almost anything.

1. Don't feel guilty for wanting to kill yourself. Life can be extremely painful, and you are not weak, a coward, or irrational for considering the obvious way to alleviate that pain. Guilt on top of the rest of your pain will not help, and you are not a bad person. You are going to have to tell yourself this a lot.

2. If you think you might do it, find an excuse to live. This is different from a reason to live in that it is short term and shallow. For years my excuse was that I still had enough money to buy a pizza and I'd be damned if I didn't get my last pizza before I died, and if i still wanted to kill myself after the pizza then I had lost nothing. I swear this kept me alive through some of the hardest years of my life.

3. If you have an online friend you can trust, ask if they would be willing to do check in duty occasionally on your worst nights. It's very simple, on bad days where hurting yourself is a real possibility, ask your friend if they can send you a message at regular intervals, say 15 or 20 minutes, confirming that you are safe. It can be as simple as "check?", with you responding "I'm ok". Being immediately held accountable makes not doing it so much easier. I asked a friend to help me like this about two weeks ago to deal with a really bad self harm day and the difference between trying to do it on your own and simple check ins is astounding. It hurts so much less.

4. You die with nothing left on the table. This is for when it's over and you are going to kill yourself. You have a plan, you are ready, and you want to. At this point you are effectively dead. Which means there are no consequences. You can finally do the thing that you were always too scared to do. Maybe it's quitting your job, or confessing to your crush. For me it was coming out as trans. This is your last ditch effort, so if it blows up in your face and ruins everything it is no loss because your plan will still work tomorrow. You were already dead anyway, who cares if you left behind a bit more chaos.

[animeomegas]

Ok but what do we think about Bakugo baking his pup's birthday cake? I know he would rather cook than bake but for his pups 🥺 at least I think he would, but only for the first few years lol or what omegas do you think would enjoy baking their pups birthday cake? =D

Bakugou 1000000% bakes his pup's birthday cake!!!!

And not just for the first few years, every year until they tell him to stop.

And if they don't like cake, he learns to make a crepe stack.

If they don't like sweets, he fastens one out of cheese.

He WILL make something vaguely circular to shove candles in, and NO ONE can stop him! 😤

He may be a professional hero, but he's also got the spirit of an ultra competitive PTA mum. He can do better than the supermarket, the bakery, and all the other parents put together!

Alpha is just watching as Bakugou furiously whips up cake testers in the kitchen the days before his pup's birthday party, muttering about icing colours and swearing as he cuts the piping bag end too big.

He's grinning so proudly at his pup's birthday party, and it's partly because of the cake turned out perfectly, but mainly because he provided something worthy for his pup on their big day.

And once they blow out the candles, Bakugou has to surreptitiously wipe his eyes so that no one can tell he's tearing up.

(He definitely has an officially branded cookbook, and once his pup is a teenager he publishes his first baking recipe book hehe)

In terms of other omegas that bake their pups' birthday cakes:

Midoriya will try for a year or two, but he's kind of mediocre at baking and it's sooooo stressful every year. He'll put a lot of money into a nice bakery cake though. Shinsou also tries once but it goes badly so he has to rush out to buy a cake at the last minute because even box mix hates him.

Todoroki and Iida don't even consider making it on their own. When you need a birthday cake, you buy it from a nice bakery or cake shop??? Obviously???

Kirishima does!! And he's pretty good! The cake always tastes better than it looks, but it's delicious and that's all most pups care about anyway.

Sato obviously is up there with Bakugou, even higher, I'd say. His cakes are to die for and he has so much practice. His pups brag whenever they take baked goods in to school or have professional standard cakes at their birthdays.

Mirio would probably attempt to make the cake with the pup in question. They want more chocolate chips and sprinkles? Then they get more chocolate chips and sprinkles. It's their birthday after all!! Mic probably does that too lol

Tamaki buys one or gets a friend to bake it because no thanks.

Aizawa delegates if he can. It's up to the other parent to order or bake one, as long as there's a cake at the end of the day, he doesn't care. Shiggy also delegates. Or maybe he blackmails or threatens someone into doing it if he's invested enough lol.

Dabi bakes a simple cake by himself. If he's got a pup, then he's committed to giving them the love he was never shown. And he probably can't afford a professional cake unless his alpha makes a lot more money than him.

Denki is banned from baking cakes.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Consequences

[at JK Rowling's Scottish castle] JK Rowling's agent: hey joanne it's me your agent Agent: Lydia Agent: i haven't appeared in a while so readers might not remember me Agent: i am a midnight pals totally original character, do not steal

Agent: so how you been doing? working on a new book? JK Rowling: actually i've been bussssy agent: oh yeah? with the transphobia? Rowling: with the transssphobia, yesss Rowling: itsss like a full time job

Rowling: i started an international tranvestigation into an Algerian boxer agent: agent: ah ok um agent: any particular reason why? Rowling: to get her killed agent: ok um agent: again, any particular reason why?

Rowling: anyway, since this Algerian boxer situation went down Rowling: I've been waiting here, right next to this cobweb-strewn telephone, for the Olympic committee to call me up with an apology Rowling: Rowling: Rowling: [checking watch] Rowling:

agent: so about this whole Algerian boxer situation agent: it turns out she's suing you Rowling: that can't be right Rowling: i'm JK Rowling Rowling: i sue PEOPLE Rowling: people don't sue me

agent: no no it turns out that the legal system works both ways Rowling: what? agent: yeah i know i was surprised too Rowling: i'm pretty sure that's not how it works Rowling: check it again agent: I've already checked it 3 times Rowling: CHECK IT AGAIN

Rowling: ssso she think she can sue me for cyberharrassment huh? Rowling: get my lawyer on the phone! the best lawyer money can buy! agent: do you mean Allison bailey again Rowling: NO i want to win this time

Rowling: don't worry i have a full proof plan to win in court! Rowling: i'm going to challenge the judge to point to a specific tweet where i called Imane Khelif a man

Rowling: if you look carefully, you'll notice i never once use the word man agent: what about that gigantic banner currently flying from the ramparts of your Scottish castle Rowling: that's a typo

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

could u maybe make a murder time trio(separate if possible) with a goth reader? if not that’s ok:)

Traveler I don't know who you are but I was thinking about writing some skelies with goth reader for some good time now, so thank you for this request 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Also, I added out Nightmare because I can <3

Featuring: Dust, Killer, Nightmare and Ted.

Masterlist

Killer

He finds your style... Interesting to say the least, in his words "It makes you look like the baddest bitch on the multiverse"

Definitely brags about it to the others "Ha! I have a groth partner and you don't!" "You mean goth?" "That's what I said idiot"

Finds Cyber goth and Punk goth the coolest styles, but let's say the truth, it doesn't really matter what substyle you wear, your clothes are all over the floor in the night anyways.

He can and will make flirts involving your dark aesthetic, especially if you're vampire goth.

"Hey sweetheart are you a bat? Because you can come bite my body any time~" "Killer we're in the middle of hiding a body what the fuck"

Ted

Your style helps him remember you, it's so different, so distinct from the norm that it makes his mind recognize you from maybe miles away.

Ted finds some of the songs pretty relaxing, it's one of the rare types of music that doesn't hurt his "brain".

People are scared when you both go anywhere.

Though he kinda likes it, no one can bother you when they think you're a freak.

Loves seeing you get ready, especially if you're traditional goth, he could stare forever, seeing you carefully putting eyeshadow on makes him feel so calm.. it makes his day 10 times better for no reason.

He'd make cookies of you, for no apparent reason, and then give them to you.

Dust

He fucking adores you.

Whatever you say he does, no questions, he just does.

Let him do your makeup. Pretty please?

Loves every goth substyle, but steampunk and vampire goth hold a special place on his soul.

Dust actually really loves fashion, and yes he will choose clothes for you when you don't know what to wear, and trust me, you end up looking fabulous.

Wastes all his money on you, skirts, boots, pants, anything you like he buys you, even if he had been in debt once for buying too much.

Nightmare

Oh my, he's actually head over heels.

This hoe's rich alright? It does not matter how expensive the prices may add up, it does not matter how many clothes you want, he's buying it, it's not like he'd run out of money anyway.

He likes the music, it's one of his favorite types actually - but he still prefers his classic music, "no offense darling.. classic is just better."

And if you're traditional/romantic/Victorian goth?? Lie down on the bed because he can't control himself anymore sweetheart - and he's making sure you aren't walking for some good time.

You're married to him, so you're now also ruler of his kingdom, and your style fits perfectly with the gloomy vibe of his realm.

[reds-skull]

Thank youuu

I love them too, I'm thinking of having them as a big brother/little brother duo maybe?? Anyway here's them buying tea for the base like stereotypical Brits

Ok first time I read this my heart melted because it's so sweet :]

I keep thinking up aus for mw2, but they're all too complicated for a one-off comic, and I just finished a series so I'm not doing another one for the time being. But I had a superpower au for them, that I'm gonna explain under a read more because I know it's gonna be long lmao

But before that thank you for everyone again! I read all your lovely comments and they warm my heart <333

SO in this au, some people gain powers the first time they die. The powers are based on how they died (also when they die they meet these cool eldritch beings called reapers that have a little chat with them to decide if they're worthy of those powers).

Soap died from an explosion. Got blown out of a building. So his powers are explosion resistance and creation. His fingertips are always on fire because he's practically blowing the air around them all the time.

Gaz fell off a helicopter :( so now he can manipulate gravity, either objects around him or himself. He also floats a few inches off the ground most times.

Price was kinda hard for me to decide but I ended up making him die by abandonment. Now he can telepathically communicate with people.

And Ghost... he died in that coffin. Got pulled out by a reaper and received the powers to control limbo, the space between life and death. He's not authorized to use them unless he's alone, so he gets sent on solo missions only, until Price recruits him to the 141.

That is, until he pairs up with Ghost.

Before being recruited to the 141, Soap mainly defused bombs. Since, even if it's too late, he won't die. Thing is, Soap still gets hurt. His bones get crushed, his heart stops, his limbs get torn apart. He does heal, but the worse the injury, the longer it takes.

That made him kinda depressed. Because he felt like a glorified bomb robot. Except he's cheaper, since it doesn't cost the military any money when he fails to defuse on time.

Ghost isn't immune to bombs. He himself doesn't enter limbo, since that traps anything alive.

He and Soap go on a mission where intel suggests the enemy has rigged various explosives around the intel they need. They split up, Soap goes to defuse them and Ghost slowly makes his way through the facility.

And Ghost does help him. But he treats him like he would a regular, non-powered human. Stops when he's in too much pain, encourages him through it. Does his best to stop the bleeding.

Ghost completes his objective, but Soap gets spotted by an enemy and detonates the bomb he's working on to save himself.

Ghost find Soap after he fails to sitrep, impaled by a rebar. He whimpers and begs Ghost to help him off it, since he can't heal.

Because Ghost sees him as human. He watched as Soap kept trying to make jokes with him, but more importantly, how he treated him no differently from anyone else.

Soap, for his side, isn't used to that... gentleness. And that's how his interest in Ghost begins.

They exfil and return to base. A few months pass, and Ghost keeps an eye on one Soap MacTavish. Looks through his medical records, past missions. Finds out just how much he suffers through.

But Ghost isn't his commending officer, so he can't do anything. Until he's approached by his captain, John Price. He brings up the option of adding a new member to the taskforce. He gives Ghost the candidates he considered, Soap was brought up, Ghost stops him and states that he would agree to a new member if it was Soap.

Now if I had like, better writing abilities I would have absolutely written this as a fic. Butttt I don't and even if I did, I don't have confidence in them so I won't. But this idea is now out there and you can do whatever you want with it.

Also I got like a lot more sketches of this au but I only posted the ones I made for the ask.

[simpshaaaa]

After living in the apocalypse for years, Cale developed few habits

One which is that he has every solution to every odd problem

I bet one of them is how to escape from a bear without attacking it and the solution is by pulling a wrestling move on it and when the bear is in shock and paralyzed for a moment, Cale will make a run from it

Alver: Are you okay?

Cale: I mean, it's a good idea. I don't want to hurt the bear. What if it had a baby???

Another is storing food in Raon dimensional space

Rosalyn: I'm a bit hungry..

Cale pulling Raon: Do you want some apple slice?

Rosalyn: I kinda want some croissants actually

Cale: I have 100 of them, Raon

Raon: FRESH STILL CROISSANT FOR OUR VERY SMART ROSALYN

Rosalyn: ..Why do you have 100 croissants???

Cale: Just in case

Remember yalls. Cale got trapped in a building before during the early apocalypse:3 so he was starving for awhile before meeting Soohyuk

Anyway next is having a few emergency funds. Cale has a retirement fund(which his uncle stole) and some other funds that others (via Alver, Deruth, Fredo) provided and also don't forget the money and jewelry he looted too

Cale: I have an emergency fund 1, an emergency fund 2, an emergency fund 3, an emergency fund 4,,,,,,, and lastly an emergency fund 202 for 202 types of situations

Bud: ..Why?

Cale: Just in case

Bud: .. You're the oldest son of the Duke family?? And the SWORN BROTHER of the crown prince????

Cale: Yeah,, but just in case............

Also also also

I noticed Cale hardly spent money on himself but his kids and family

That one chapter where he brings the kids into the toy shop but they wanted swords and stuff

They really thought he was going to buy those toys for himself 😭😭😭

Also he has that magic space bag where he can store a lot of things, but not so much as Raon dimensional space (ok do y'all see a problem now with Cale????) and in that bag he keeps his personal items like cape and some money, and that death book

I headconan that little Roksu has a lot of secret places that he keeps his money from his abusive and gamble/alcohol addicted uncle

Y'all can add more,

I don't have anymore ideas

[canirove]

Mason Mount Imagine | seven

Author's note: I hadn't written an imagine in ages, but yesterday after seeing these gifs of Mason at that charity event the other day I got inspired, and here we are 😁 Hopefully this will give me the last push I need to finish my next story, who also happens to be about Mason 👀 As always, I hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜 Little summary: Your dad works at a chairty auction and has asked you to be his plus one. You expect to bore yourself to death, but a cute guy with a dimple has other plans 👀 (Female reader/pov)

Masterlist

“Dad, do I really have to go?”

“Yes, honey. You must.”

“But it is going to be so boring…” I complain. “What am I going to do at an auction full of old people?”

“Thank you for the compliment” he chuckles. “But you will be supporting your father after months of hard work. And there will be young people too.”

“Sure” I snort.

“There will be. Now c'mon, I can't be late.”

“But…”

“Chop, chop, honey.”

“Ok, fine” I sigh. “Just promise me you won't call me honey in front of everyone.”

“I won't” he smiles, opening the door of our house. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

“Thank you, dad. But I feel like I may rip this dress any moment now” I say as I walk past him, crossing all my fingers so it actually doesn't happen, and I end up making a fool of myself in front of all his work colleagues and some of the richest people in the city. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Ok, this is your seat, hon… Your seat” my dad smiles after I give him a murderous look. 

“Aren't you sitting down with me?”

“I still have to take care of a bunch of things.”

“Are you leaving me alone? And surrounded by strangers?”

“You'll be fine, honey” he chuckles. “I promise I'll come and have a drink with you. Now try to have some fun.”

“But dad…” I start, not being able to finish my complaint since he is already gone. "Great" I sigh.

“So, do you come here often?” someone says, taking the empty seat next to mine.

“I beg your pardon?” I say, turning around to face the owner of that voice. 

“That was bad, wasn't it?” he laughs.

“Worse” I say, my eyes fixed on him. On the cutest guy I have ever laid eyes on. 

He is wearing a classic black suit with a black tie, nothing too shocking. But paired with the smile on his face and the dimple on his left cheek… wow. Simply wow.

“What are you doing at an event like this, tho?” he asks me. “I wasn't expecting to meet anyone younger than 50” he chuckles, his dimple showing once again. Is it possible to fall in love with something like that? Because I think I just have.

“My dad convinced to come as his plus one and support him tonight.”

“Is he part of the auction?” 

“He is the guy running around like a headless chicken to make sure everything is ok” I laugh, looking at him when he suddenly shows up running up and down the stage.

“Martin?”

“Yep, that's him. Do you know him?”

“I do. He is a really nice guy.”

“I may be a bit biased here… But he is, yes” I smile. “He has put so much work and sleepless nights into today's auction… Like, I don't know how many coffees I made for him while he tried to convince this football player to be part of it.”

“A football player?”

“Yeah, a super famous one, I can't remember his name. He kept telling my dad that he was super busy with other commitments” I snort. “What commitments could have a guy who makes a living from kicking a ball? Spending lots of money in ugly clothes just because they have a certain logo, and buying huge cars?”

“Don't forget about the ugly haircuts and tattoos” he chuckles.

“That too.”

“Aren't you into football, then?”

“Nah, not my thing. What about you?” I ask him, finally daring to look him in the eyes. Which is a big mistake, because even in the kind of dark light of the room, I can see that he has the most beautiful brown eyes ever. Eyes that are currently giving me a mischievous look I can't understand. 

“Not my thing either. Footballers are a bunch of twats” he says, making me laugh. “Anyway... I know we just met, but I'm gonna need your help with something.”

“Mine?”

“Yours” he says with a smile that matches the look on his eyes. “I'm about to be auctioned.”

“You what?”

“It sounds bad if you say it like that, but people are basically going to bid money to have a personal experience with me.”

“That isn't making it sound any better.”

“Oh, you dirty mind” he smirks, making my cheeks start to burn. Thank God he can't notice with the low light. Or can he? “But some people here may be expecting that kind of experience. Earlier I overheard a couple of women talking about me and looking at me in a way that… Well. You can imagine.”

“I don't blame them, tho” I say, speaking before thinking.

“Thank you” he smiles, that dimple I'm definitely in love with showing in all its glory. “So, what I need you to do, is to win my auction.”

“What? With which money?”

“Mine.”

“What?” I say again. “Is that allowed?”

“I don't think so. But since it is for charity, I think your dad can look the other way and allow it. What do you say? Will you win this for me? I promise you you will have the best date ever.”

“A date?” I say, almost choking with my own words.

“Unless you have a partner and I'm making things weird.”

“No, no. There is no one” I quickly say, my cheeks burning once again, and especially when I notice how I've made him smile.

“Great” he says. “It'll be very easy. They will say a number and you…”

“I know how an auction works.”

“Yes, of course. Of course you do” he apologizes. “Will you do it, then? Pretty please?” he pouts, making me focus on his lips. Lips that look so kissable and so…

“Fine, I will” I sigh, giving up and focusing on a different part of his face. But even his hair looks attractive.

“Thank you” he smiles once again, kissing my cheek. “And that's my cue, I have to go. Don't worry about the amount of money, ok? I can pay whatever they offer.”

“Ok” I nod, my brain still thinking about the feeling of his lips on my cheek, on how my skin tingles.

“And you have number 19 on your bidding paddle, that's my lucky one. Everything will work out, you'll see.”

“Yes” I nod again. 

“See you in a bit” he winks before leaving our table and me trying to understand everything I'm feeling and that just happened.

“And now for our next bidding… Mr. Mason Mount, Manchester United player and football star!” a voice announces from the stage.

“What?” I say, snapping out of whatever is going on with me and focusing on the guy walking up the stage. “No way” I gasp.

It's him. The cute boy with the dimple who just convinced me to bid for him and win this auction… It's Mason freaking Mount. The football player my dad spent hours trying to convince to attend tonight. The one I basically called a twat to his face.

“Remember that the winner will get to enjoy a personal experience with Mr. Mount. Not that type of experience...” the auctioneer chuckles as some women start giggling. “Are we ready? We'll begin with £1,000.”

The moment he says that number, a bunch of bidding paddles are raised. 

“Ok, what about £2,000? Does anyone offer £2,000?”

More paddles around me. People definitely are eager to spend some time with him, with Mason. And once again, I don't blame them.

I've spent five minutes with him, and you could say they have been some of the best five minutes of my life. And not because of how handsome and cute he is or because I'm in love with his dimple. There is something about him, about the way he talks, looks and listens to you, that makes you feel… I don't know. Comfortable.

“What about… £5,000!”

Still the same amount of paddles. No one is giving up. And it keeps being like that as the number keeps going up and up until it makes it to…

“£50,000! Does anyone offer £50,000?” 

People start whispering among themselves, trying to decide if they should make an offer or not. And then, a blonde woman raises her bidding paddle. 

“We have an offer! Anyone else?” the auctioneer says.

That woman is going to win, and Mason doesn't seem to be too happy about it. The look he is giving me from the stage is saying it all, and also reminding me that I should be bidding for him too.

“And we have another offer!” the auctioneer says when I raise my paddle, Mason smiling from ear to ear while my dad looks at me as if I've grown another head.

“What the hell?” he mouths.

“Trust me” I say back.

“Ok, what about £51,000? Does anyone offer £51,000? Ladies?”

Once again, I can feel Mason's eyes fixed on me.

“And we have £51,000 from the lady in the back!” the auctioneer announces when I raise my paddle, everyone in the room looking my way. “£51,000 at one… £51,000 at two… £51,000 at three! We have a winner!” he says, hitting his little hammer so loud that I can feel it in my bones, Mason pointing in my direction with a smile that could make anyone's knees feel like jelly. Dear God, what did I just do? 

“Honey, what did you just do? Are you drunk?” my dad says, suddenly showing up next to me.

“I can explain everything, I swear.”

“Miss, could you please join us on stage?” the auctioneer says.

“You better. Now let's go, they are waiting for you.”

“But dad, wait. I can't. I can't go in there.”

“You won the auction, honey. You must go up there” he says, helping me get up.

“Dad, I can't. I…” And then, I hear it. The back of my dress ripping. “Dad!” But he isn't listening, already dragging me to the stage where Mason is waiting.

“Please let's give a round of applause for this young lady!” the auctioneer says.

“Thank you for… Hey, are you ok?” Mason says as he takes my hand and helps me up the stage.

“I'm pretty sure I just ripped the back of my dress” I say while everyone claps.

“Oh, shit” he says, looking at my back. “I'll help you, don't worry.”

���Do you have magical fingers?” I say with a nervous laugh. “Like fingers that can sew” I quickly add after seeing the smirk on his face.

“I do have magical fingers, and among other things, they can do this” Mason says, putting his hand on my back to make sure the dress doesn't open, the feeling making me gasp. 

“Thank you very much for your generosity, Miss” the auctioneer says, unaware of everything that is going on. “We hope you enjoy your time with Mr. Mount.”

“Thank you” I manage to say, my brain only being able to focus on Mason's hand on my back, on one of his fingers touching my skin. I'm pretty sure he can feel it burning.

“Now, onto our next bid!” he announces as we leave the stage, my dad already waiting for us. 

“What have you done, honey? £51,000! We don't have that money!”

“But I do, Martin. I asked her to bid for me” Mason explains. “Here, put this on” he says, taking off his jacket and putting it around my shoulders. “This should help cover the back of your dress.”

“Thank you” I mutter, missing the feeling of his hand and especially that one finger on my back. Though it doesn't last long. He is so close to me while helping me with his jacket, that I can smell his perfume all around me, and it smells so good… 

“What do you mean you asked her to bid for you?” my dad asks, completely ignoring that I may be melting.

“I didn't want one of those women to win. I don't trust them, to be honest” he chuckles. “And this is for charity, isn't it? It should not matter if the money comes from me or them.”

“I guess, yes. But…”

“Martin? We need you” someone says behind my dad.

“Yes, of course” he tells them. “We'll continue this conversation later” he says, looking first at Mason and then at me. 

“That went well” he chuckles as we watch my dad walk away.

“Did it?”

“It did. They now have £51,000 they will definitely put to good use, I am free from that woman, and you just got yourself a personal experience with Mason Mount” he smiles.

“Hasn't all this been an experience already?”  

“It definitely has, yes” he chuckles. “But the one I'm offering you will be more enjoyable. We could go shopping for ugly and very expensive clothes” he says with a teasing smile.

“I could actually do with a new dress seeing that this one… Well. It has seen better days.” 

“You look beautiful, tho.”

“Thank you” I mutter, looking down and starting to play with one of the buttons on his jacket to hide that my face is about to burst into flames. “Sorry about what I said earlier, by the way.”

“About what?”

“About calling you a twat.”

“I called myself a twat, you didn't. And if someone has to apologize, that should be me for not telling you who I really was.”

“I guess...”

“I think this makes it a tie in the apologies department. Don't you agree… honey?”

“I beg your pardon?” I say, finally daring to look him in the face.

“Ok, ok. Forget that I said that” he laughs. “The look you just gave me is scary as hell.”

“You deserve it. That is my dad's nickname, and no one else can use it. Sometimes not even him.” Like tonight, for example.

“I'm sorry. I truly am” Mason says, getting serious. “I just thought it was really cute.”

“When you are a kid, maybe. But I'm not five anymore.”

“I'm sorry” he says again. “I guess I'll have to think of a good nickname for our date. Something that doesn't sound too childish and that…”

“Wait, wait, wait” I interrupt him. “Our date?”

“Or personal experience, call it what you want” he shrugs.

“Are we actually doing it?”

“Of course we are. You paid for it, didn't you?”

“You paid for it” I correct him.

“Small details” he replies. “But you and I are going on a date, and I promise you it is gonna be an experience you won't forget” Mason says, taking my hand on his and kissing it, the way he is looking at me when he does it, plus the smile on his face (dimple included) and the feeling of his lips on my skin, making me feel things I can't explain.

I'm going out on a date with Mason Mount. The Mason Mount. A freaking football star.

And oh... my God.

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Authors note: I know some of you may now be like, I need a part 2, I need to know what do they do on that date! 😅 But I've run out of ideas, so if you can think of something they could do or where they could go, let me know and I'll try to write something. Though I can't promise anything.