#i don't even remember my ooc tag

[feroluce]

Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.

Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks

Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.

And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.

So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.

He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.

Caelus doesn't have any of that.

He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.

And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.

So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-

("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")

-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.

Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.

(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)

((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."

And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.

And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.

The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))

[swiftfootedachilles]

im just gonna be honest gang obviously its gonna be easy for you to say youre in love with a character and theyre an angel when anytime they do something you don't like you brush it off as out of character

[piningpercussionist]

Nonsense idea:

Scott's memories being altered by Gideon, but Gideon accidentally gives Scott preemptive knowledge of someone's transition.

[bastardsunlight]

Guess who's back...

//Tentatively...

@vehxmence and I have been chatting recently. It's been a year and some change--I think I put myself on hiatus in February of 2023--and a lot has happened. Skipping the gory details, I'm married, in a new house, and much, MUCH happier.

I'm ... considering dipping my toe back into the hobby. I've grown fond of script style, short form RP through tupperbot on discord, but I don't want that to be all, since I really do enjoy writing and now that I'm safe and happy, I think I might give it another go.

Expect a fethload of changes, including muse lists, formatting, and rules.

[araneitela]

I ran out of coffee beans. /glares into camera

It's officially time for 6 hot chocolates today.

[divinacaptivus]

(Finally gets around to translating your blog bio.)

Potes fessus imperator?

Ego vōlō salvētē tu.

A voice rises above the psychic din of a thousand screaming souls all being thrown into the hungry void at once. It is a still voice, an ancient voice, one not heard in ten thousand years. It does not speak with a mouth, but instead the will of its, no His, weary soul.

He speaks in a language long thought dead, one born of an empire that even He admired.

+Nihil salvare.+

[hellheld]

i may have realized that harlot is actually going to be very difficult to ship with IUHRGUIEGTKJR

[cursedfortune]

promise i’m not ignoring anyone!! had a long day and running on very little sleep. social energy is lower so i’m just vibing with some creative stuff that comes easy.

things should be more free for me to circle back to once i get some stuff done in the morning. fgdfhghj

also anyone worried i may have missed out or skipped them in my whole rampage to see what threads are being kept/tossed/paused and talking with new peeps on starting stuff: i’ve gotten through most of my list (which is really just the list of threads i keep, people i’m talking to as a reminder to reply and then me going through my followers list to reach out) so chances are you’re in the last chunk i’m getting to. if for some reason i still haven’t gotten to you or you’re worried still, you can just tap me. i’m trying to be considerate in catching up so if anyone feels not gotten to, just tell me!!

[hostiae]

💀💀

[justashadetalkative]

Status

Finally installed XKit Rewritten! It looks like its mass tag replacer is a heck of a lot faster and less prone to glitching than the old method that I used (which, for example, wouldn’t edit ask answers), so I might finally be getting around to updating my tags. :)

Shouldn’t be anything major. I frequently search my own blog via tags, so I like them to be completely straightforward things that I can remember on my own and easily type into a browser url.

But! I’ll be getting rid of the parentheses around some old tags. So “(details)” is now “details”, etc.

[sanderscat]

idk what it is but i find character ai extremely off-putting, i just can't put my finger on why

[lawevades-a042023]

i need to relearn how to socialise in the rpc... i feel like i don't know how and then i just sit and watch everyone having fun together, without participating

[fstbmp-a]

IT'S NOT EVEN BETA ANYMORE IT'S JUST THE POST EDITOR.

[who-is-muses]

[ on a slightly unrelated note, one plot idea I will simply never get tired of is one of the Lanterns being stranded someplace unfamiliar without the use of their ring for whatever reason. Bleez is obvs exempt because she'd be dead without hers, but like. Salaak or Sin getting abducted and forced to use just his smarts and physical abilities to escape, Bro'Dee running out of juice and having to deal with the language barrier while stranded with another Lantern, or plenty other situations. Lanterns in particular are fun to de-power for plot because a decent part of their power is already part of them- their rings just makes it a physical tool or weapon. ]

[veiledfox]

} The past couple weeks have been odd for me

[fearitscelf]

It’s been 84 years since I was last here it feels like... Man, I miss the old days. 

How is everyone?