#i don't even really know who's in charge of this stupid group.
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supercantaloupe · 1 year ago
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i think one of the worst things is that. literally no one is telling me Anything. i have no idea what's going to happen when we get to madrid i have no idea how we're getting to bilbao i have no idea how this is gonna fuck up our itinerary or if they're gonna make us cram an extra concert in somewhere we don't have time for it or make us stay later than planned (i don't have enough meds with me for any extra days!) i have no idea if i'm going to have to shell out extra fucking money for more stupid plane tickets i don't even want because i don't even want to be on this fucking trip i don't want to be here i just want to be in a fucking bed
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iluvmy-desire · 1 month ago
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escape ᯓ soobin x femreader
genre: smut, slice of life, little teeny bit fluff
warnings: stress pretty much hard fucking you, sweetest boyfie service top!soobin, soft sex turned into... hehe. oral (f), pet names, spit / lmk if I missed anything!
it's been a hell week for you. you don't know if this is karma getting back to you or your classmates are really just a bunch of assholes making your life miserable.
monday and tuesday started as fine, but it turned into a nightmare after that. wednesday became your starting point—your pet peeves annoying the shit out of you and even corrected your behavior for scolding your classmates who are circling around a fainted girl. you're literally in charge of keeping the class not as chaotic as possible.
thursday really got you. some asshole wrote nasty words on your notebook and you were asked by your professor why did you write it. you explained to him in a panicked voice, "sir, even though I'm foul mouthed sometimes, I would never ever write stupid shit like that to my own notebook." good thing he considered it and gave you a good grade.
friday—earlier, made you almost burst into angry tears. your professor presented a documentary to your class for reflection and to write your opinion about it, but before that happened, you noticed the girl who looks like a butchered barbie whispering to her friend. you shrugged it off, thinking it was nothing. after that, her friend literally sat down in front of you to block the tv from your view. you were pissed, you love watching documentaries.
after class, you immediately went to your boyfriend's house. you entered the house unannounced and plopped down on the couch with a loud, exaggerated sigh.
soobin, who is currently playing mario kart, paused his game to greet you with a kiss. "hey babe, how's school?" sigh, being a college student sucks when your boyfriend just freshly graduated.
you start to ramble about your day and how today's week has been pissing you off. your professor even scheduled to finish the powerpoint presentation by monday—and your group hasn't even started researching!
"I'm sorry about that, love." soobin sighed, placing his big hand on your cheek to caress it. "and I know you haven't got a proper sleep after your examinations. you need a break."
"how?" you asked. "I'm literally gonna cry out of anger right now, maybe even commit arson. but seriously, how am I gonna rest if I have a shit ton of work to do? our date is canceled because of work."
"love, as much as I want to help, I cannot control your professors. and we can reschedule our date, hon. don't worry about it." he says softly, planting a kiss on your forehead which made you feel relieved.
"why don't you let me help you relax and escape from the reality, hmm?" he continued, his eyes filled with lust and admiration for you. you nod at his suggestion, letting him push you gently on the couch to lay on it.
soft, breathy moans escape your lips, legs spread and tits out as soobin eats you out. it was messy, actually. but you didn't mind—he looks good with his mouth and chin covered in your juices and his drool.
your back arched slightly when he inserts one of his long ass fingers, and since you were lost in this pleasure, you started to grind on it because why not?
"a-ahhah... soob..." you whimpered, a sigh coming out from his mouth. "you greedy princess... look at you being fucked out when we just started."
soobin suddenly pulls out his finger, making you whine. he stands up and pulls you on the edge of the couch before aligning his cock on your entrance. you genuinely thought that he was going to be hard on you, just like he always does.
but you were surprised when he pushes himself inside you and starts to thrust with a slow speed, as if grinding on you. you had gotten a little sensitive since it's been two weeks without any sex, blame the shitty college shit of course. and oh, my. it felt like you were in heaven.
having sex with soobin was always passionate, but not as passionate as tonight. you grip his biceps, looking up at him with your mouth slightly drooling. "more.."
"hmm? you want more?" he says, smirking at your request. he paused his thrusting, his lips crashing into yours in a heated kiss.
"you want more, hon? I'll give you more."
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f14fun · 3 months ago
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pixelated love (!simmer x mv1) - chapter 8
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synopsis: in which the famous three time world champion max verstappen wants to learn how to play the sims 4. except, he doesn't really know how to. so what does he do, search up a youtube tutorial. low-and-behold, y/n's video is the first he watches.
smau + prose (8.4K words) ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ profile | masterlist ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ prev | next | series index ˚୨୧⋆。
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જ⁀➴✎ ❛❛Y/N's POV❞
The funny thing about catching feelings is that you never know when the walk becomes a stroll, then a jog, and eventually turns into what seems like a never-ending chase.
It’s a flurry of emotions, each step more fervent than the last. At first, you might think it’s just a casual stroll—something light and easy, just taking in the sights and sounds. But then, it evolves into a leisurely walk, where you find yourself more invested, more attentive to the nuances of the path you’re on.
As you get more involved, the pace quickens, and suddenly, what was once a gentle amble has turned into a brisk jog. Your heart starts to race, and every moment feels charged with potential and possibility. The thrill of the chase sets in; you’re no longer just moving along the path but running towards something that feels both exhilarating and daunting.
And just when you think you’ve reached the peak of intensity, the chase turns into a marathon. The emotions swirl around you like a storm, sometimes exhilarating, sometimes overwhelming. It’s as if you’re in a never-ending pursuit, where every stride is driven by hope, fear, and anticipation. It’s a whirlwind of highs and lows, where the finish line seems perpetually just out of reach.
The moment I truly felt my peak of intensity was the moment that I landed in Nice, France, ready to embark towards my ultimate destiny: Being the ultimate Monacan WAG. If you truly believed that last statement, dear reader, I must call you gullible.
Anyhow, the Nice Côte d'Azur Airport had welcomed me with open arms, giving me the twenty kilometer leeway of relief before I was due in the beautiful Principality of Monaco.
And don't get me wrong, but I was scared.
The facade that I put up everyday on stream, on social media, was only a fraction of who I really was. I was left wondering to myself in the hours leading up to meeting Max, "Would he really like me for who I was? What if this was one humongous joke I was apart of, and I was doomed to be the laughingstock?"
Arriving in Monaco, surrounded by its opulence and charm, only heightened my feelings of vulnerability. The grandeur of the setting made my personal fears feel even more pronounced. Would the real me, with all my imperfections and uncertainties, measure up to the expectations set by the facade I had carefully crafted online?
To be put simply, I was only a girl. And I really, really, really hoped that multimillionaire Dutch Formula One racer Max Emilian Verstappen would take pleasure in meeting me.
I had texted Max how I should meet with him, nonchalantly, of course. But on the inside, my palms were sweaty. I was nervous. In person, I wouldn't say I was the best flirt. I was more like that one twelve year old boy at the pool trying to impress a friend group of sixteen year old girls.
I fumbled on my words. I tripped. I missed. I blushed. I ran. I wept about my mistakes, and kept thinking what the absolute fuck did I just say? Why did that just come out of my mouth? I am stupid. I am so stupid.
Simply put, I didn't have much rizz.
Honestly, if I could headbutt myself, I definitely would. I had set myself up for utmost failure for acting like a confident prick, over text, over stream, and over Twitter. I acted like I had it all together, but in reality, if a tall, handsome guy were to actually approach me, you’d see me stumbling over my words and turning into a nervous wreck.
It was pathetic, really.
And oh my gosh, dear reader, if you had seen the look on my face when I had Googled Max Verstappen for the first time...
It was shameful, I will admit.
Learning that he stood six inches above me at his 5'11" stature... I was blushing in the comforting shadows of my bedroom, fearfully gripping my phone, as if Max himself was going to suddenly appear in my room and catch me red-handed, shamelessly watching edits of him.
Hiding under the covers at two am before a long day at work, and pondering if his big, big, bicep muscles from holding a steering wheel all day could eventually hold me in his comforting grasp. Daydreaming, in the middle of meetings with high-end game-development executives, if I could sudden run into his chest and have him hug me until I couldn't breath. Wondering, if I could sit on his thighs one day, and using his veiny hands, he could hold me by my waist and his steamy breath talk into my ear.
Yeah, I get no bitches and I'm horny.
It's pretty obvious to y'all at this point. Don't be a mean girl and judge, though.
And with all of these thoughts, I am not afraid to think them. In the shower, making dinner, watching him race...But it was all put in perspective when I stood outside of his apartment door, waiting for him to let me into his home.
It felt private. Intimate. Different, than all the displays of affection and joyous laughter we shared with the public.
But now I was in the comfort of his home. No prying cameras (at least I hoped that there were no hidden cameras), away from the never-ending watchful eye of the public.
The first thing I noticed about him were his eyes. They were a piercing, greenish, blueish, grayish color—a mix of the sea and comets, a blend of colors I couldn't quite put my finger on.
It was like they held the depth of the ocean, the intensity of a storm, and the mystery of the cosmos all at once. In the soft light of the doorway, they seemed almost otherworldly, drawing me in with their enigmatic allure.
Many people online had said that these eyes were constantly hardened, a result of years spent racing under intense pressure, dealing with tough words from his father, and the unwavering support and strength he garnered from his sister and mother.
They were eyes that had seen the highs of victory and the lows of defeat, that had faced criticism and expectation head-on, and had come out stronger on the other side.
These eyes told a story of resilience and determination, of someone who had been through the wringer and had emerged with a steely resolve. The internet was filled with tales of his focused, almost intimidating gaze on the racetrack, where every glance was calculated and every blink was a strategy.
They spoke of a man who had to grow up fast, who had to build walls to protect himself from the harsh realities of his world.
But when he looked at me, I could swear that I saw them soften.
They drew me in, and for a moment, I knew I could write poetry about them. There was a story in every shade, every flicker of light within those eyes. I could imagine penning verses about their depth, their history, and the way they seemed to hold entire worlds within them.
Suddenly, all my nerves and the fear of being a fumbling, awkward mess seemed to dissipate, at least a little. There was something in the way he looked at me that made me feel seen, like he was looking past the persona and seeing the real me. It was a mix of relief and disbelief, like maybe, just maybe, this wasn't going to be the disaster I had built up in my head.
I had never believed in the saying, "love at first sight", but I could've sworn my heart skipped a beat, if not multiple, when I locked eyes with him. Like I predicted, he was a tall, tall, man. And I, like a lot of people in this world, was not immune to the charm of a tall man.
"Oh, you are very tall," I blurted out.
What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. The words had slipped past my tongue and out of my mouth, bypassing the more sensible part of me, aka my brain. Damn you, stupid weak heart.
I could feel my face heating up, a wave of embarrassment washing over me. Out of anything I literally could have said, my intrusive thoughts had gotten the best of me. My inner voice was screaming at me to pull it together, but it was too late. The words were out there, hanging awkwardly in the air between us. My poster slumped slightly, there was literally no way to recover this. I desperately needed to find a galvanized stainless steel block to bash my head against repeatedly.
Max chuckled softly, a sound that somehow made me feel a bit more at ease despite my flub. "And you must be Y/N," he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Welcome."
Taking a deep breath, I tried to regain my composure. "Yeah, that's me," I said with a small, nervous laugh. "Sometimes when someone makes me hella nervous, it just happens, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—" I started, but he cut me off gently.
"I make you nervous?" He smirked at me. "Well I didn't know that."
Okay. Cut the cameras, deadass. I quite literally felt like I was a main character in that weird-ass phone game Episode (yes, my guilty pleasure at three am but nonetheless a fun hobby to have) It was like one of those cliché moments where the charming love interest says something flirty, and the protagonist’s heart skips a beat. Except this was real life, and my heart was doing somersaults.
I could feel my face heating up again, but this time, there was a small part of me that felt… excited? Maybe this wouldn't be a complete disaster after all. Trying to play it cool, I flashed a shy smile. "Yeah, well, you're pretty intimidating in person," I said, hoping to keep the conversation light.
"I cannot believe you said that, I'm just a really big cuddly bear," Max laughed at me, opening his arms out for a hug.
For a split second, I hesitated, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts. But then, the warmth in his eyes and the genuine smile on his face melted away any remaining nervousness.
Stepping forward, I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his strong yet gentle embrace envelop me. It was like being pulled into a cocoon of safety and comfort, his presence immediately soothing the whirlwind of emotions inside me.
As we hugged, I felt the tension in my body start to ease. His arms were warm and reassuring, a stark contrast to the anxiety that had been gnawing at me since I landed. In that moment, it felt like all the awkwardness and worries faded into the background. It was just the two of us, sharing a simple, sincere connection.
The hug lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough to make me feel grounded and welcomed, a silent promise that maybe this really was the beginning of something special.
And I did believe him, that he was just a really big cuddly bear. His laugh was warm like honey, and I could definitely get used to hugging those biceps and burrowing my head in his chest, like a teddy bear. All I could think of was the moment I whipped out my phone to get on Twitter I would tweet, #needthat.
What???
I'm just a girl.
"You're really fucking cute," Max suddenly stated, his soft voice interrupting my daydream.
Wait wait wait what?? Backtrack please?? Did Max Verstappen just call me cute, as he leans on the fucking doorway and I can see his biceps bulge as he-
Noticing my shocked expression, and my jaw must have been hanging out for a considerably long time without responding, he started to laugh at me.
"I hope I was the first person to tell you that today," He continued.
"Y-you certainly were the first person to say that, oh my," I sputtered, a creeping blushing arising from my neck and blossoming onto my cheeks.
Max's eyes sparkled with mischief as he stepped closer, closing the distance between us. "Well, it's about time someone did," he said, his voice dropping to a playful whisper. "I've been looking forward to this moment for a while, you know."
I swallowed hard, trying to regain my composure. "You have?" I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper. The bold, flirtatious Max standing in front of me was a stark contrast to the more reserved person I knew online. It was disorienting, but also incredibly intriguing.
This side of him was magnetic, drawing me in with a mix of confidence and playfulness that I hadn't anticipated. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, the realization hitting me that the dynamic between us had shifted entirely.
Online, I had always been the one with the witty comebacks and cheeky comments, but now, standing here in his presence, I felt like I was discovering a whole new dimension of our connection. His boldness was both thrilling and nerve-wracking, making me wonder just how many other surprises he had in store.
"Absolutely," he replied with a grin. "Seeing you now, in person, you're even more stunning than I imagined." He leaned in slightly, his gaze never leaving mine, and I felt my heart race faster with every passing second.
"Oh, wow, um, thank you," I stammered, feeling my shyness take over. It was surreal—here I was, the one who had always been confident and playful online, now reduced to a blushing mess in front of him.
Max chuckled softly, clearly enjoying the role reversal. "You know, I always found your confidence online really attractive," he said. "But seeing you like this, all shy and flustered... it's pretty adorable too."
I bit my lip, trying to steady my nerves. "Well, you were always the cool, mysterious racer," I said, attempting to regain a bit of my former bravado. "It's kind of unfair that you're also charming in real life."
He laughed, a rich, warm sound that made my heart flutter. (And I could swear I could hear hundred dollar bills when he laughed) "Guess we both have our secrets," he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "But I have to say, I kind of like seeing this side of you."
"Yeah?" I replied, feeling a small surge of confidence. "Maybe you'll see more of it, if you keep being this sweet."
Max took a step closer, his presence enveloping me like a warm blanket. "Oh, I plan to," he said, his voice low and intimate. "Getting to know the real you is something I've been looking forward to. Online was fun, but this...this is so much better."
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks again, but this time it was mixed with excitement. "Well, you better keep up the charm then," I teased, trying to match his playful energy. "I'm not that easy to impress, you know."
He raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Is that a challenge?" he asked, leaning in slightly, his proximity making my heart race even faster.
"Maybe it is," I said, my voice daring but my insides turning to jelly. "Think you can handle it?"
Max grinned, his confidence unwavering. "Oh, I know I can," he said smoothly. "And by the end of this trip, you'll see just how serious I am."
His words sent a shiver down my spine, a mix of anticipation and thrill coursing through me. The flirty banter, the unexpected boldness, and the undeniable chemistry between us—it was all so intoxicating. As I looked into his eyes, I realized that this was just the beginning of an adventure that was sure to be full of surprises and unforgettable moments. Spending time with Max felt completely different from any of my past relationships.
There was a new air about him, a different kind of electricity that sparked between us. Unlike the fleeting attention I had received from past lovers, who barely gave me a minute of their day, Max's presence was all-encompassing. He made me feel seen and valued in a way I hadn't experienced before. Each moment with him was charged with genuine interest and warmth, making me feel like I was the only person in the world.
The thought of what lay ahead made my heart race with a mixture of nervousness and exhilaration. I knew that being with Max would be an experience unlike any other, a journey where we would both reveal our true selves and create memories that would last a lifetime.
Don't call me naive, dear reader, because in the moment, it truly felt that way to me...And I really hoped that he felt the same too.
"Alright then," I said, my voice steady despite the butterflies in my stomach. "Game on."
Max's smile widened, and he extended his hand. "Game on," he echoed, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through me as our fingers intertwined.
"Come on in," he said, leading me into his apartment.
As soon as we stepped inside, I realized that 'apartment' was an understatement. The place felt more like a huge penthouse rather than the modest apartment he had made it out to be. It was luxurious yet still quite plain and humble, a reflection of Max himself. The high ceilings, expansive windows, and elegant but understated furniture gave it a sense of grandeur without being ostentatious.
The living area was open and airy, with floor-to-ceiling glass doors that opened onto a balcony overlooking the city. The view was breathtaking, a sprawling panorama of twinkling lights and distant landmarks that seemed to stretch endlessly. Despite the grandeur, there was an inviting warmth to the space. The furniture, though minimal, was meticulously chosen—sleek modern lines with plush, comfortable seating that suggested a home where one could truly relax.
As we moved through the apartment, I noticed the subtle details: a few well-placed art pieces, not too many, just enough to add character without overwhelming the space. The kitchen was state-of-the-art, with shiny countertops and high-end appliances, but it was evident that Max wasn’t a chef—there were no intricate gadgets or utensils, just the basics. The sparse decorations spoke volumes about his personality: practical and unpretentious.
"Wow," I said, looking around in awe. "You really weren’t kidding when you said you had a big place. This is incredible."
Max shrugged, a hint of embarrassment on his face. "Yeah, I guess it’s a bit bigger than most apartments," he said with a sheepish grin. "But, as you can see, I didn’t exactly go all out on decorating. I’m not really into interior design and don’t have a clue how to make it look... well, more 'homey.'"
I laughed, finding his modesty endearing. "Well, if you ever want to change that, I’m your go-to person," I offered playfully. "I could definitely give this place a bit more personality."
"Oh, really?" he asked, raising an eyebrow with a smirk. "And what if I said I might be more inclined to actually spend more time here if you did?"
I grinned, feeling a spark of excitement at the prospect. "Challenge accepted," I said. "I’ll have to draw up some design ideas for you. Just don’t be surprised if you come home one day and find your place looking like a completely different world."
Max chuckled, leaning against the kitchen counter with a teasing glint in his eyes. "Are you saying you’re going to turn my penthouse into something out of a magazine?"
"Something like that," I replied, trying to keep a straight face. "But with a touch of ‘Y/N’ flair. I promise it won’t be all pink and sparkles—unless you really want it to be."
"I think I'd rather die," He rolled his eyes, making me a victim of the sassy man apocalypse. Letting out a sudden bark of laughter, my eyes widened, surprised at the ugly ass noise I just let out.
"Wait no I take it back, it would be way better if I just paint it neon green and tweeted #BratSummerTakeover," I laughed.
"This is way worse than the pink what the hell..." Max laughed at my antics. Finally, he was matching my freak!
"Honestly, CharliXCX and Brat Twitter would probably save you if you got canceled, just because you made your apartment Brat themed," I countered, eye brows raising and daring him to challenge me.
"What would I even get cancelled for? Being too devilishly handsome, maybe," He asked, smirking at me.
I felt the heat rush to my cheeks, and I knew I was blushing a lot. "Well, maybe," I stammered, trying to regain my composure. "Or for making girls like me turn bright red with just a few words."
Max's smirk widened, clearly enjoying my flustered reaction. "I think I could live with that," he said, his voice low and teasing. "But seriously, I like seeing this side of you. It's cute."
I blushed even more, trying to deflect the compliment with humor. "Well, you might get canceled for making me turn this red," I quipped, feeling a bit bolder. "And for having terrible taste in decor. Honestly, who wouldn’t want a neon green penthouse? It’s the height of fashion."
Max shook his head, still laughing. "Okay, okay. Maybe we should stick to something a bit more... timeless. How about a black and white theme? Classic, elegant, and less likely to blind anyone who walks in."
I pretended to consider it, tapping my chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, that could work. But only if we add some gold accents. You know, to bring out the sparkle in your eyes."
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "Gold accents, huh? You really think my eyes sparkle?"
"Like diamonds, just like that one Rihanna song," I said, batting my eyelashes and throwing my hands up in a dramatic fashion. "But seriously, I think we can make this place look amazing. Just trust me."
Max smiled, his gaze softening. "I do trust you. And I’m actually looking forward to seeing what you come up with. Just promise me one thing."
"Anything," I said, leaning in closer, our hands brushing against each other again. I was literally going bonkers from the sexual tension between us two, and I wasn't sure how long I could take it for the next week, before the dam overflowed. And trust me, I don't mind if this dam overflows. Wink wink.
"Promise me you won’t turn it into a jungle. I don’t think I could handle that much greenery," he said with a playful wink.
I laughed, nodding. "Deal. No jungle theme. But I can’t promise there won’t be a few plants. They add life, you know?"
Max grinned, shaking his head in amusement. "Alright, a few plants I can handle. Just no turning my place into a botanical garden."
I gave him a teasing look. "You never know, a few well-placed ferns could really spruce the place up. Besides, they say talking to plants helps them grow. Maybe it’ll work wonders for you too."
He raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the back-and-forth. "Are you implying I need help growing? Because I’m pretty sure I’ve hit my growth spurt."
I laughed, feeling more at ease with each playful exchange. "No, just that a little greenery might make this place feel more like home. Plus, it could give you someone to talk to when you’re not racing around the world."
"Well, if you’re around, I’ll have plenty of company," he said with a wink. "And maybe you can teach me how to take care of them without killing them."
"I’d be happy to," I replied, smiling. "But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to choose some low-maintenance plants. Wouldn’t want you to feel overwhelmed."
"Thanks," he said, his tone sincere. "I appreciate that. But seriously, it’ll be nice to have you help me make this place feel more like home."
"Anytime," I said, feeling a warm glow from his words. "Just promise you won’t get any bright ideas about adding a racecar in the living room."
Max chuckled, the sound rich and warm. "No promises. But I’ll try to restrain myself."
He glanced at my luggage and then back at me. "Let me help you with those," he offered, moving towards the pink suitcases. "I’ll take them to the guest room."
As he picked up the bags, I couldn't help but notice how effortlessly he handled them. The way his muscles flexed under his shirt made my heart race. It was impossible to ignore how strong and capable he looked, making even the heavy suitcases seem weightless. Every movement seemed to highlight his athletic build, and I found myself momentarily distracted by the sheer physicality of him.
He had insisted on me staying at his apartment for the seven days I was in town, refusing to let me book a hotel. "You’ll be more comfortable here," he had said on our phone call earlier, his tone leaving no room for argument. It was sweet, really, and incredibly sexy watching him take charge like this. The thoughtfulness behind his actions made me feel special and cared for in a way that I hadn’t experienced before.
As he carried my luggage, I couldn't help but admire the ease with which he moved, the definition in his arms and shoulders evident with each step.
I followed him down the hallway, my eyes shamelessly glued to his back, watching the way his muscles shifted beneath his shirt. Each step he took seemed to exude confidence and strength, a silent testament to his physical prowess. I couldn't help but admire how the fabric of his shirt clung to his form, accentuating every line and curve of his well-toned physique.
God, I could talk about his slutty little waist for days. The little fancams they showed on F1TV or YouTube did not do it justice. Seeing him in person, the way his waist tapered into those perfectly fitted jeans, was a whole different experience. It was mesmerizing, almost unfair how well his physique was sculpted.
As he walked ahead of me, the fabric of his shirt stretched taut across his back and narrowed at his waist, highlighting the lean, athletic build that had become a defining part of who he was. It was the kind of detail that fans like me only dreamed about, and here I was, witnessing it up close.
I was such a lucky little bitch.
My mind wandered to the countless hours he must have spent training, not just in the gym but on the track as well. It was a different kind of dedication, one that went beyond what most people understood. There was something undeniably attractive about a person who was so committed to their craft, and it only added to the allure that Max already possessed.
As he led me into the guest room, I couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness. This was Max Verstappen's personal space, a glimpse into the life of someone I had admired from afar. The room was spacious and inviting, with large windows that allowed natural light to flood in, creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere.
Max set my bags down gently and turned to face me, his expression softening. "There you go," he said with a warm smile. "If you need anything, just let me know. Make yourself at home."
"Thanks, Max," I replied, giving him a grateful smile. "I really appreciate this."
Just as I was about to say more, Max’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He glanced at the screen and frowned slightly. "Sorry, I have to take this," he said, holding up the phone. "It’s important."
"Of course, no problem," I said, waving him off. "Take your time."
Max nodded and stepped out of the room, his voice already lowered as he answered the call. Left alone, I took a moment to absorb my surroundings. The bed looked incredibly inviting with its crisp, clean sheets and plush pillows. The journey had been long, and I could feel the fatigue weighing heavily on me.
Without much thought, I kicked off my shoes and sank onto the bed, the mattress soft and supportive beneath me. The room had a calming aura, and despite my excitement, my eyelids grew heavy. I lay back, letting out a contented sigh as I nestled into the pillows.
The last thing I remembered was the distant murmur of Max's voice from the hallway. The day's exhaustion finally caught up with me, and within moments, I drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep, completely at ease in the unfamiliar yet comforting space.
જ⁀➴✎ ❛❛Max's POV❞
I couldn’t wait to see her cute face after my phone call.
Ever since she showed up at my door an hour ago, luggage in hand and blushing like mad, I knew I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let go. The way she looked so overwhelmed and charmingly nervous had struck a chord with me. But now, here I was, stuck listening to Lando Norris ramble about his trivial girl troubles when all I wanted was to see her again.
Lando’s voice was like a buzzing fly in my ear, and I found myself tapping my foot impatiently, wishing he'd get the hint and stop talking. His high-pitched voice grated on my nerves as he continued his endless rant about the latest drama in his life. I loved the guy, but seriously, this was not the moment for his soap opera.
“—and you would not believe what she said to me next,” Lando’s voice droned on, each word feeling like a needle in my brain. I barely registered his complaints, lost in my own thoughts about her.
“Max! Are you listening to me??” Lando’s voice suddenly pierced through the fog of my thoughts, making me flinch slightly.
“Mhm...” I trailed off, barely processing the words. My mind was focused entirely on her, on how she looked when she first arrived and how peaceful she appeared when I last saw her.
“Oh, what the bloody fuck mate, you’re not listening. Whatever, I'll talk to you later,” Lando said abruptly. Before I could respond, I heard the familiar click of the call ending.
“Hallelujah,” I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes in relief. The endless chitter-chatter had finally stopped, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me.
“Oh, what the fuck,” I suddenly exclaimed, realizing that I had wasted enough time. I should be up and finding my houseguest—my possible future wifey—and spending more time with her. I shot up from my seat, a surge of excitement propelling me forward.
The house had been unusually quiet since I’d gotten off the call, and I was eager to see what she was up to. Maybe she was scrolling through her phone, or perhaps she was just getting comfortable. I tiptoed down the hallway, trying to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to disturb the calm atmosphere of the house.
As I approached the guest room, I could hear nothing but the soft hum of the air conditioning. My heart skipped a beat as I slowly opened the door, peeking inside to see what awaited me. The sight that met my eyes was unexpectedly delightful. There she was, nestled in the bed, having kicked off the fluffy house shoes I’d given her. Her luggage was neatly set aside, and the room was serene, illuminated by the gentle late afternoon light filtering through the curtains.
Her position on the bed was both endearing and surprisingly casual. She had managed to kick the blankets off completely, leaving them in a crumpled heap at the foot of the bed. The sight of her sprawled out, so relaxed and at ease, made me pause. She looked incredibly peaceful, her hair spread out like a halo around her, and her cheeks were slightly flushed.
My beautiful girl was tired.
A soft smile crept onto my face as I approached her. It was clear that she was deeply asleep, her breathing even and steady. I carefully grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed, making sure not to disturb her. The blanket was warm and soft, a stark contrast to the cool air of the room.
In her sleep, she shifted slightly, letting out little breaths.
As I gently draped it over her, I couldn’t help but notice how cute she looked in this vulnerable state.
The way her lips were slightly parted and her eyes were closed made her seem even more endearing. She had a certain tranquility about her that was utterly captivating. It was a rare and precious sight, and I felt a surge of affection just watching her. Her presence in my apartment, in my space, felt strangely comforting and intimate.
I adjusted the blanket carefully, ensuring it covered her snugly. She stirred slightly but didn’t wake, which made me breathe a sigh of relief I didn't realize that I had been holding. I took a moment to appreciate how serene and beautiful she looked. The gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slept was calming to observe, and it made me feel even more connected to her.
I lingered in the doorway for a few seconds, letting the peaceful scene sink in.
In that moment, I really wanted to be her boyfriend. Even though I had just met her in real life a mere forty minutes ago, I wanted to give her everything that she wanted and deserved.
I imagined us spending more time together, exploring new places, and sharing our dreams and fears. I wanted to be the person who made her feel special and loved, who supported her in all her endeavors and celebrated her successes. The thought of being that person for her was more appealing than I’d ever expected.
It wasn’t just about the romantic gestures or grand declarations; it was about the everyday moments of care and attention. I wanted to be there for her in the small, meaningful ways—like making sure she was comfortable, listening to her stories, and sharing in her joys and struggles.
Don't call me naive, but I really, really, really like her.
જ⁀➴✎ ❛❛Y/N's POV❞
In my dreamless state, I could still remember a few things. Like the warm breath of someone hovering over me. I could feel watchful eyes on my back, curious, worried, then relieved. I remember feeling gentle hands pulling my blanket from the foot of the bed to my shoulders, gently covering me.
And when I woke up, I really questioned whether what I felt was a dream. In my room it was silent, almost no trace of whether someone was there or not.
The only anomaly was the fact that before, I had completely shut the door. Now, the door was left ajar, a tiny sliver of the hallway could be seen from where I was propped up in my bed.
Yawning, I could hear the soft hum of the ongoing AC in my room. But if I listened a bit more, I could hear the whirring of the range hood in Max's kitchen further down the hall.
He was cooking?
Wow. Call me surprised.
A few days ago when we called on Discord, he had narrated a few cooking horror stories that had happened to him.
I remembered one particularly gruesome story he shared, one that sounded like it came straight out of a sitcom. It was supposed to be a simple pasta dinner. Max had invited a few friends over, and in his eagerness to impress them with his culinary skills, he decided to make everything from scratch.
(I know, I know, he told me he wanted to have his little Nara Smith moment...I'll give it to him, I guess)
It started with the sauce. He had carefully selected ripe tomatoes and fresh herbs, determined to make the best marinara his friends had ever tasted. But things quickly went downhill. First, he accidentally doubled the amount of garlic. Not a huge issue, right? Just a little more flavor. But then, in his attempt to balance it out, he added way too much salt. Desperate to fix it, he threw in some sugar, which somehow made it even worse.
Next came the pasta. Max had repeatedly watched one Nara Smith video of her making fresh pasta and he figured it couldn’t be that hard.
News flash, incorrect answer buzzer.
He miscalculated the flour-to-egg ratio, resulting in a sticky, unmanageable dough. By the time he managed to roll it out, the dough was uneven and tearing. When he finally got it into the pot, it clumped together into a gooey mess.
Meanwhile, the kitchen was descending into chaos. The range hood was whirring at full blast, struggling to keep up with the smoke billowing from the pan. In his panic, Max forgot to turn the stove down, and the sauce began to boil over, spilling onto the burner and creating a scorched, acrid smell that filled the entire apartment.
Then came the final straw. Max decided to make garlic bread as a last-minute addition. He put it in the oven and got so distracted by the pasta disaster that he forgot about it entirely. By the time he remembered, the bread was more akin to charcoal, emitting a foul, burnt odor that overpowered even the smell of the burnt sauce.
His friends (He told me it was Lando, Daniel, and Carlos) arrived just in time to witness the aftermath. The kitchen was a war zone, with sauce splattered everywhere, clumps of dough sticking to various surfaces, and smoke lingering in the air. The range hood was doing its best, but it was no match for the chaos Max had created.
His friends tried to be polite (Well maybe Daniel and Carlos did but Lando certainly was not), but the horrified expressions on their faces said it all.
Max ended up ordering pizza, and the story became an infamous legend among his friends. They still teased him about it, making jokes about his "gourmet" cooking skills whenever they had the chance.
It was quite a funny story, as Max had vlogged the whole thing, originally wanting to use the video footage as evidence that he could actually cook.
That's fucking hilarious, if you ask me.
When he showed the video footage, I was quite literally cracking up. I swear I had never laughed as hard as I did in my life when he showed me it.
Remembering that story now, I couldn’t help but smile. The fact that he was back in the kitchen, despite that disastrous experience, said a lot about his determination.
And maybe, just maybe, this time would be different. I decided to get up and see for myself what he was up to, hoping that I wouldn't walk into another kitchen catastrophe.
On that account, I found myself to be, again, very much wrong.
It smelled funny in the kitchen.
There was a peculiar mix of something burnt and something…well, unidentifiable. As I approached, the smell intensified, and I began to worry. I rounded the corner to find Max standing over the stove, looking flustered. Smoke billowed up from the pan, and the range hood was struggling to keep up.
"Max, what on God's green earth are you doing?" I asked, trying to keep the amusement out of my voice. I was also, clearly failing at that too, as a hitch in my voice gave away what I was truly feeling.
Dear reader, I was about to burst into a torrential fit of laughter.
He glanced up, his face a mix of sheepishness and determination. "I was trying to make fried rice with beef and onions, but...uh, things aren't going as planned."
I raised an eyebrow. "Clearly. What happened?"
He sighed, waving a hand at the pan. "Well, first, I realized there wasn't much food in the fridge to begin with. I found some rice, a bit of beef, and an onion. Seemed like enough for a simple dish, right? But then the beef started to stick to the pan, so I added more oil, which made the onions cook too fast and burn. And now the rice is clumping together and sticking to everything."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Max, you are a disaster in the kitchen. This is even worse than the pasta incident."
He groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know, I know. But I wanted to impress you. Clearly, I'm failing miserably."
I walked over and peered into the pan. The beef was charred in some spots and raw in others, the onions were practically disintegrated, and the rice looked like a sticky, burnt mess. "Impressive isn't exactly the word I'd use," I teased.
He grinned, despite the chaos. "Hey, at least I'm trying, right? That's got to count for something."
I shook my head, laughing. "It counts for effort, sure. But maybe you should stick to ordering takeout."
He gave me a mock serious look. "Or, you could teach me. You're the one with the design ideas. Maybe you have some cooking tips too?"
I pretended to think about it. "Hmm, I suppose I could. But only if you promise to listen and not improvise."
Max chuckled, holding up his hands in surrender. "I promise. No more kitchen disasters."
I smiled, feeling a warm rush of affection. "Alright, let's see what we can salvage here. First things first, let's get rid of this burnt mess."
As we started cleaning up, Max kept sneaking glances at me, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You know, I didn't just burn the food on purpose to get you to come out here and help me, but it's a nice bonus."
I rolled my eyes, playfully nudging him with my shoulder. "Nice try, Verstappen. But if you keep burning things, I might have to take over all the cooking."
"Deal," he said, his grin widening. "As long as you stay."
My heart skipped a beat at his words, and I couldn't help but smile. "You're lucky I'm a sucker for a cute guy who tries to cook."
Max chuckled, shaking his head. "And you're lucky I'm persistent. Now, let's make something edible before we both starve."
I glanced at the pitiful remains of our attempted fried rice. "Or," I suggested, "we could go to the grocery store and get some proper ingredients. Maybe start from scratch with something we can't mess up."
Max's eyes lit up with excitement. "A late-night grocery run? That sounds like a great idea. It's only 8 PM; we've got plenty of time."
I smiled, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect of a spontaneous adventure. "Alright then, let's go. But first, let me change out of these pajamas."
Max grinned, leaning a little closer. "Deal. I'll clean up here while you get ready. But you know, you look pretty cute in those pajamas. Maybe we should make it a pajama party instead?"
I rolled my eyes playfully, feeling my cheeks warm. "Nice try, but I think I'll stick with something a bit more appropriate for public."
Max chuckled. "Alright, but don't keep me waiting too long. The sooner we get to the store, the sooner we can start our culinary masterpiece."
I raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Oh, now it's a culinary masterpiece? You have high hopes, Mr. Verstappen."
He shrugged, flashing a charming smile. "What can I say? I'm an optimist. Plus, with you by my side, how could it be anything but perfect?"
I laughed, shaking my head as I headed to the guest room to change. "We'll see about that. I'll be back in a few minutes."
Max's voice followed me down the hall. "I'll be counting the seconds, chef."
After changing into something more appropriate—a pair of jeans and a cozy sweater—I met Max in the living room. He had cleaned up the kitchen mess and was now waiting by the door, car keys in hand.
At the door, I slipped on a pair of Birkenstocks, leaning on Max to stabilize myself. Feeling myself slipping all of a sudden, Max grabbed onto my waist and steadied me up. His grip was firm, and I could feel the warmth of his hand through my shirt, sending a little shiver down my spine.
"Careful there," he teased, his voice low and close to my ear. "Wouldn't want you to fall for me… again."
I glanced up at him, catching the mischievous glint in his eyes. "Oh, I don't know, Max. It seems like you're getting pretty good at catching me."
He smirked, his hand still resting on my waist, holding me just a little closer than necessary. "Well, practice makes perfect, right?"
I couldn’t help but laugh softly, the playful tension between us impossible to ignore. "You might need a few more tries, though. I’m a bit of a klutz."
He chuckled, his thumb brushing lightly against my side. "Lucky for you, I’ve got all the time in the world." My heart was quite literally beating out of my chest and the sexual tension was getting to me. Noticing my beet red face, Max continued.
"Ready to go?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with excitement.
"Ready," I replied, feeling a mix of anticipation and nerves. (And still giggly from the whole previous ordeal)
Max held the door open for me with a dramatic flourish. "After you, my lady," he said with a mock bow.
I laughed, rolling my eyes playfully. "Such a gentleman. You really know how to impress a girl."
As we headed down to the underground garage, Max couldn't resist a bit more teasing. "So, do you have a grocery list, or are we winging it?"
"I think we should wing it," I said, grinning. "Who knows, maybe we'll discover some hidden culinary talents."
"Or set off the smoke alarm again," Max added, smirking.
I nudged him with my elbow. "Hey, I'm a decent cook. I promise I won't let you burn anything."
"Good to know," he replied, his smile widening as we reached his Aston Martin Vantage.
The sleek car gleamed under the garage lights, and I couldn't help but admire it. "Nice ride," I said, running a hand over the smooth surface.
"Thanks," Max said, a hint of pride in his voice. "I figured it would make a good impression."
"You figured right," I said with a wink.
As we pulled out onto the street, the city lights cast a warm glow over everything. The drive through the city was peaceful, the streets mostly empty at this hour. We chatted casually, the conversation flowing easily as we navigated through the urban maze. Max seemed to know the city well, effortlessly weaving through the streets as we made our way to the nearest grocery store.
As we drove through the city, the conversation continued to flow easily. "So, what kind of snacks are we getting?" Max asked, glancing over at me.
"Definitely some chocolate," I replied. "Maybe some chips too. What about you?"
"I was thinking ice cream," he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You know, for dessert after our gourmet fried rice."
I laughed, shaking my head. "You and your sweet tooth. Fine, we'll get ice cream. But only if you promise not to eat it all in one sitting."
"Deal," Max said, grinning. "I promise to save some for you."
"Max I've seen you devour so much food in one sitting, are you sure you are keeping that promise?" I roll my eyes in mock frustration.
He smirked, glancing over at me. "What can I say? I'm a growing boy."
"Growing boy, huh?" I teased. "Last time I checked, you were already fully grown."
"Just because I'm tall and handsome doesn't mean I can't still grow," he shot back, winking.
I snorted. "Tall and humble, too. Such a rare combination."
"Only for you," he said, placing a hand dramatically on his chest. "I reserve my best qualities for special occasions."
"Well, aren't I lucky?" I said with a laugh. "I guess I'll have to make sure to keep you around for more grocery runs."
"Hey, I'll take any excuse to spend time with you," he replied smoothly. "Even if it means resisting the urge to eat all the ice cream."
I pretended to ponder his words. "Hmm, maybe I should test your willpower. Get a couple of pints and see how long they last."
He raised an eyebrow. "Are you challenging me?"
"Maybe I am," I said, grinning. "Think you can handle it?"
"Oh, I can handle it," Max said confidently. "But can you handle me winning?"
I laughed, shaking my head. "We'll see about that. Just don't cry when I catch you sneaking spoonful's in the middle of the night."
"You're on," he said, eyes twinkling with amusement. "But be warned, I play to win."
The hum of the Aston Martin's engine was a soothing backdrop to our conversation. The car's interior was luxurious, with plush leather seats and a state-of-the-art dashboard. I couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement as we sped through the city, the lights blurring past us in a kaleidoscope of colors.
"So, do you do this often?" I asked, glancing over at Max.
"Late-night grocery runs?" he replied with a grin. "Not really, but I'm always up for an adventure."
I laughed, feeling a sense of camaraderie growing between us. "Well, I think this might be the most exciting grocery run I've ever been on."
Max chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Just wait until we get there. I might even let you pick out some snacks."
"Now you're talking," I said, grinning. "I will never not indulge in big back activities," The prospect of picking out snacks together felt oddly intimate, a small but meaningful step in getting to know each other better.
"Hey! You can definitely tell a lot about a person based on their favorite snacks. People who simply like spicy shrimp crackers are superior!"
Max raised an eyebrow, a playful challenge in his gaze. "Spicy shrimp crackers? That’s a bold choice. I guess we'll see if our snack preferences align."
"They better," I said, rolling my eyes in mock annoyance. With that, we stepped outside, the crisp air greeting us as we made our way to the grocery store. The city buzzed around us, but all I could focus on was the warmth of his presence beside me and the anticipation of what was quickly becoming an unexpectedly perfect day.
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 278,121 others
yourusername: what in the #domesticlife...#breadbedandbred
view comments:
maxverstappen1: This is a VERY misleading caption, Y/N
maxverstappen1: Nice post, though (please change the caption)
maxverstappen1: Christian also said that the caption is "sussy as hell"... whatever that means
user1: BYEEEE christian "horny" horner strikes again 🤕
user2: ain't nothing SOFT about this LAUNCH y/n 😖😖🤯🫣
yourusername: 🫣🫣🫣
user3: not her casually serving in a groccery store at night, i aspire to be second-slide-y/n
user4: DAMNNNNN IM SLEEPING ON THE HIGHWAY TNNNN GUYS 😐🤧
user5: AYO MAX
user5: hand placement.... you better WATCH yourself
user6: guys i need this so bad, accepting bf applications RIGHT NOW
user7: dude.... Dude.... DUDEEEEE
user8: his gorilla ass grip on the hook of her jean hook im ILL guys I'M SO ILL 🤕🤕
user9: u r so right queen, it's giving #domestic #hubbyandbubby #narasmithlife #walkhimlikeadog
yourusername: i like #walkhimlikeadog 🤯
maxverstappen1: I like #hughimlikeacat better 😌
yourusername: 🐶🐶🐶 ARF MAX
maxverstappen1: You are very VERY weird, Y/N 🤣🤣🤣😂😅
yourusername: ARF ARF ARFFFFF 🐕🐕🐩
user10: we got #walkhimlikeadog daughter versus #hughimlikeacat son before gta 6 😈😈😈🥲
landonorris: Damn, Max, get a grip, you are getting SOFT my boy 😹😹😹
maxverstappen1: Not funny, Lando
yourusername: 😹😹😹
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author's note: ty guys for reading this fic! 😍🫶🏾
212 notes · View notes
the-fandom-is-now-my-life · 5 months ago
Note
Let's go enjoy the sun and 55!
Hopefully I'm doing this correctly eksoqheb-
Let's go enjoy the sun!
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Haru might have convinced you to help out for their fundraiser so let's see who are the three people who come to spend the evening in Jabberwock
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Wc: ~1,8k
“Is everything ready?” Haru asks from the door of Jabberwock while he carries out a very homemade stand under his arm before setting it down. It's the equivalent to a child's lemonade stand but rather it read ‘jabberwock fundraiser’ in big black letters
“Are you honestly doing this?”
“We are really in need of money, ren!” He pouts before saying something to Towa who was humming in agreement.
“Why are you even here? You aren't even part of Jabberwock” Ren looks up from his raid to side eye you.
“Haru looked pretty depressed while he vented so I decided to help”
“Are you stupid or spineless?” a sigh leaves his lips and he doesn't wait for an answer before focusing again on his phone.
“Stop bothering them, Ren! At least I heard what you said so now you only have to wait on visitors and charge them”
“And you forced me to not take shifts to do what I do for my job?” 
Ignoring him Haru pulls a marker and writes down the prices.
500 yen for 30 minute foraging group tour with Towa
800 yen for 30 minute capybus ride with Haru
But when you reach your price for essentially frolicking around the hills and sunbathing your breath scapes your lungs
“So expensive”
“Don't undersell yourself!” Haru chimes and towa hums “I'm sure you will get us more earnings than you think!”
“That is like 2500 diamonds in Shock of clans” Ren comments, and it makes you remember when he spent 30 minutes thinking if buying diamonds was smart. Next he throws a sly smirk  “seems like someone else can take care of the cashier for me”
“Then you can go feed the salamanders! Such good thinking Ren!” Haru chimes.
“Forget it, I just remembered they weren't good at math"
“Hello, senpai” Sho smiles as he hands the money to Ren, who was still bitching about now having to pay proper attention to his job and not the game.
“oh? I didn't expect you to come by, Sho!” quickly you walk around the stand and hug him. Seeing he paid, you link both of your arms and start leading where Haru told you was your ‘station’.  
“and leave you with whatever pervert might come? After you helped around the truck some weirdos came asking when you would be there again” 
“Mhm, so you decided to be the weirdo?” You two walk down a path between some overgrown red cap mushrooms that were as tall as trees, this would be such a good place to record an Alice in wonderland movie.
“Here I come trying to save you from perverts and this is how I get treated?” Sho feigns being hurt, his hand slapping his chest “so what were you supposed to do?”
You throw yourself on the red blanket laying down on the floor before smiling knowing he would crack up “ I'm hosting a flower themed tea party” and your hand signals to the glass teapot with lotus designs and the matching lotus shaped teacups that hotarubi lent “and if you want I can make you a flower crown” without missing a beat he laughs “to be fair, I thought I would lead a tour or play cashier” 
“And they ended up having you serve tea?” You nod “and you didn't complain?” you nod again “well, are you going to pour me or what?” He sits down next to you, soon drinking the jasmine tea.
For the hour that he booked you two mostly chatted about how he was doing, how he was getting closer to Subaru, and how his food truck was going. It was so nice to be able to chat with Sho without Leo interrupting or him dividing his attention between cooking and receiving clients but every few minutes his phone would start buzzing making him frown until he checks who is sending the texts.
“Oi, smile” Sho raises the telephone and takes a photo of you making him a flower crown with some dandelions and wild flowers.
“keeping a photo for the memory? I would have fixed my hair if you were gonna to photograph me” 
“Leo is texting me nonstop, maybe this will stop him a bit” he puts down the phone and grabs one of the cookies that were on the plate, they are the typical chocolate chip cookies from the kiosk but that are a worthy accompaniment.
Not even a few minutes later Leo uploads a post on wickchat and Sho gets a notification, from his scowl you can guess he isn't happy. In his screen there is a story with a snarky comment mocking his friend and soon the comments flooded with people sympathizing with him.
damn, my friend bailed out of a hang out to go out with his crush who doesn't even like him
“That asshole” the comment and the cluck of his tongue slip without thinking, soon getting your attention from the almost finished craft.
“Is it that bad?” Curious, you take your own phone from your cardigan but before even being able to type Leo's user in the search bar Sho throws himself at you, arm quickly swatting away the phone. Effectively ensuring you didn't see the post but making him lose balance and fall over just in time for Ritsu and Ren walking in.
“Hey, YN, can you watch the stand for a sec? He wants to go on a tour and I can't find To-” his eyes widen when he sees the scene “what the…”
“If you  desire to file for sexual harassment I would be honored to be your lawyer in the proceedings”
“Wait a minute this isn't what it looks like!” 
“He just lost balance, there is no need to jump to conclusions”
“No need to feel ashamed, there are two visual witnesses to attest, I'm sure Darkwick will respond”
Soon enough, either because of embarrassment, Ren looking at him with thinly veiled disgust or Ritsu pushing you to file a restraining order, Sho leaves soon after entering jabberwock.
“Tsk, why would you bring me here?” Jin scratches the back of his head, icy blue eyes almost closed due to the sunlight he isn't used to.
“Hermits can be prone to vitamin D deficiency, and I saw this as the perfect opportunity for you to take some sun”
“Go to hell and die, asshole” Jin barks at him between clenched teeth but Thoma doesn't bother with him and goes to the stand.
“Morning, Thoma!” You wave as he gets closer
“inspector? I wasn't expecting to see you here”
“Yeah, Ren left me here while he led a first year to Towa’s tour” your hand points to the wooden slate with the three options and prices.
“Oh? I didn't hear that there were different tours” Thoma grabs his chin, looking over the proposals curiously. Behind him Jin is kicking dirt and cursing under his breath, if he could teleport with his sword why is he here still?
“Yep! Towa just left with the foraging party so he shouldn't return for a good few minutes, but Haru should be back soon”
“Hmm… I do see your name here, do you host a tour of your own?”
“It isn't quite like that” you laugh a bit “we decided that I shouldn't be alone with the anomalies just in case anything goes wrong. I just have a sort of tea party” 
“That does seem more like Jin's thing out of these options” Thoma mumbles lightly
“Oh, right now I'm taking care of the stand so I can't really entertain people” out of nowhere Ren’s hand lands on your shoulder, prompting you to give him his seat, last time you refused to he pulled his floatie around your torso so you couldn't move. He had a smile from ear to ear, sadistic brat.
“did you decide what you want to do?” Ren uses his customer service voice, barely different from his normal voice, just somehow more lifeless. If that was possible.
“we both will go with YN” Thoma pulls his wallet and pays. Ren hums while counting the money.
 Jin scoffs seated on the checkered blanket, a smirk on his lips “so you are going to be waiting on me again, servant”
You roll your eyes at his comment, even if this time you were technically serving him “yeah, yeah, it was indeed on the description” a soft smirk forms between your lips seeing a way to tease him. you turn around to face the teapot you ask “jasmine or black tea?” your hands fiddle with the lid, acting as if you were going to open it and put leaves in.
“Fine then, I want black tea”
“Wrong, it's jasmine” as you turn around to serve it and see his annoyed face and Thoma's amused one “this teapot never runs out of warm tea but it's always Jasmine” silently he complains but still drinks the tea, getting slightly more annoyed from the fact it tastes good, soft flowery flavor that leaves a nice sweetness on the tongue.
“Isn't that quite the useful anomaly?” Thoma muses, watching how slowly the liquid inside swirls from side to side and starts going up, filling itself again.
“I thought the same, Subaru was so nice for lending it to us for a day! He said to take it as Hotarubi’s support” you can remember clearly how he offered it before assuring that he didn't mean that he expected Jabberwock to help his dorm if anything happened! And that it wasn't like he was expecting anything like that and- luckily Haku popped in before his dorm leader had a panic attack.
“Isn't that nice of them? I'm sure we could use a source of warm drinks in Frostheim” 
“Haku told me that the wait list for it can get pretty long, around two months at a time” idly your hand brushes the grass, plucking a white flower growing close to the blanket and you bend the stem to make a small ring. Seeing Jin's pale hand resting on his lap you might as well give it to him but before you lean to the right and grab Jin's hand he moves it.
“Don't even think about it” like a cat with a too cuddly owner, he swipes his hand behind his back.
“Fine, Thoma give me your hand then” you lean forward but before you can grab Thoma's hand Jin snatches it “oh~? I thought you didn't want it”
He stuffs the ring in his pocket “Tsk what you give to your king can't be taken back even if you want to so stop whining”
When the time finished they both walked back to frostheim when Thoma hums softly a song.
“Do you want to die? bastard” when he flips him off the little white flower is in the next finger to the middle finger 
“Did I do something to anger you? It's just some notes” and he keeps humming the wedding march.
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winxwannabe · 7 months ago
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Winx Season 9/Reboot Leaks
Okay here's the tea: earlier today a twitter user by the name of Cataclysm_Power started posting a video they claimed was from the new Winx season/reboot. When pressed for further information, they linked to a telegram chat with what appeared to be assets from Rainbow (17 screenshots/2 videos). After some C-grade internet sleuthing, I am here to give my (worthless and possibly wrong) opinion on which ones I think are real and fake.
A note before we jump in: I'm not posting full images on my blog, because again I do think some of these are real and if the leaker is to be believed, they hacked Rainbow to get them. You can look yourself through the telegram link, or others who've posted them on the Winx Club tag. I also think the leaker themselves is scammy because they've tried charging for Miraculous leaks before. Do NOT give them any money if they ask.
Real: Bloom, Stella, and Icy's asset sheets, Bloom Full Body Pose
A lot of these leaks are 3d modelling assets, and these 3 are the ones I'm totally convinced are real.
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The biggest clue of their validity is the bottom banner. All 3 sheets have them, along with the same episode code and notes in Italian. They're all also linked to the same person: Pasqualino Masciulli is Rainbow's 3D modelling supervisor, and has been with the company for at least 9 years. He's done videos on Rainbow's youtube channel as well, using his shortened first name Lino. My main point is that's way too niche for someone to fake just to make some convincing leaks, and it would make sense for the assets to be tied to him.
Likewise, there's a full-body frame post of Bloom with fucking ugliest denim leg warmers credited to a g.riccobono. This is likely Giulio Riccobono, who is listed on Linkedin Italy as a Rainbow employee.
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Probably Real: Tecna's asset sheet, Bloom's detailed asset sheet
Both of these are likely real but have weird things about them that make me pause. Bloom's more detailed asset sheet is missing the name, date and episode reference on it, and the notes are in English. Tecna's is missing the bottom banner entirely, and there's some weird cutting around her head that makes it look like someone hastily made a png and stuck it on there.
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Unsure: Computer File Tab, MD Concept Photos, Videos
There's a screenshot of a folder with both 2D and 3D assets of all the girls. in the files. I'm not sure if this is from a computer at Rainbow or the hacker's personal folder, so it goes in unsure. I do think most of the assets in it are real - it's low res but the eyes on the 2D sketches are so similar to the ones on Rainbow's newer images of the girls I think they have to be connected.
There are also some full body concept photos for Bloom, Aisha, and Stella. They all look pretty legit (as they're updated version of images we've already seen) but Stella's has other images for 'possible pallets' included. She's the only one with it and the images look like they came from a flash dress-up game, and it gives me pause.
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Lastly, the teaser videos of Bloom are probably real based on the outfit, animation and that stupid fucking Bloom shelf being in the background, but I'm placing it in 'unsure' because of the bandicam.com logo burned into the top. If it really came from Rainbow and everything else was downloaded, there was no reason for the hacker to not get the raw file. I think it's real, but I don't know if it came from Rainbow.
Something Ain't Right: Group Shot
What gives me pause in the fully-rendered group shot (even though its shown in the computer file tab) is it shows transformation we haven't seen teased and has a 'Lorem Ipsum' placeholder text. Aisha's hair also looks like it was done with AI - the back of her wings clip through the hair, and parts of it look copy-pasted. I'm stupid, it's the end of her braids. The 'Lorem Ipsum' thing still stands, but I'm re-filing this under 'unsure.'
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Probably Fake: Darcy and Damien's asset sheets
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I'm showing things from here on out because I'm so convinced it's fake please let me be right. Unlike the other character sheets, the ones for Darcy and 'new character' Damien have no bottom banner, are marked as 'Winx Club Season 9' with an outdated Winx logo, and have notes written completely in English. Darcy's has a bit of 3D modelling, but it's too different from Icy's. Maybe they're super early concepts for Darcy, but Damien...go home, buddy.
You're in the Wrong Place: Rainbow Pants Girl
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I'm convinced this girl is from a different show and was saved to the 'Winx Club' folder by accident. Different clothing, hair, and shading. May you end up somewhere better than this reboot, Mystery Girl.
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cure-typhoon · 11 months ago
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please please please talk more about the beta troll’s friendship 🙏
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You have summoned me in my favorite subject: 🎉🎉🎉🎉 FRIENDSHIP!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Take a sit because this is going to be long, so long i may end up dividing into different posts!
Okey so sadly we don't have a lot of info of the full group dynamic besides some clues and what we know is them literally at their worst thinking they we're going to die in a meteor,after a full one month campaign in the game they had won yet was taken from them being chased by an undefeatable enemy that destroyed their planets and probably their lusus too. And at the end three of them going on a rampage and killing the rest of the team
So not the most reliable info of how their normal dynamic as a friendgroup would be, but tbh it could never be "healthy friendgroup" in a human sense because, well, they live in Alternia.
But even in hell, the flower of friendship can blossom, so lets talk about the fucked up friendship between these kids:
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We know little about how their friendship started, contrary with the Beta Kids that we know because of June's birthday presente for Jade arriving in the past to young Jade with her pesterchum and her probably looking at the clouds in Prospit and seeing there the pesterchum of Rose and Dave following suit
Because the Beta Trolls are a much bigger group and we dont really know if they actually celebrate their wriggling days, as none of the trolls mentioned it but it could also be in part because of Karkat's disdain for the celebration or them maybe not knowing because he is a very private kid after all
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Maybe Kanaya was the first troll that befriended all of them, like Jade was and both of them being the assigned Space player of their group and the first ones to wake in Prospit, but i also doubt that considered she didnt went through the birthday gift shenanigan that young Jade went through
So what most likely happened: The trolls who we're closest to eachother (Equius and Vriska, Eridan and Feferi, Aradia and Tavros, Terezi and Vriska* (not totally sure about that one) and maybe Sollux and Aradia/Feferi) befriended eachother first and meet the rest (Karkat, Nepeta, Gamzee, Kanaya) online and just shared their info between eachother.
I honestly wonder who thought of the idea of all sharing their Trollian between eachother, maybe Feferi? maybe it just happened overtime? but what matters right now is the
F R I E N D S H I P
So today we will talk about the underrated friendships between the group
Starting with Aradia and Tavros! Both members of Team Charge, i see very few people talk about them as friends even though they were obviously very close considering they we're part of a Flarp campaign together.
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Both seem to match pretty well personality wise, both adventurous and wanting to have fun in the game, Aradia knows that Tavros picked a hard class for himself yet she still encourages him and tries to cheer him on and advice him in the case of Vriska trying to get under his skin.
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When Vriska starts to surrond him, she tries to communicate with her first, but sadly she and terezi where distracted by Doc Scratch, so he gets paralized
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Side note: After Aradia and Terezi, his third option for asking for help is Karkat, which is...interesting, they dont talk a lot but when they do its Tavros trying to get advice/help from him (2 out of 3 convos), so either Karkat and Tavros have more convos besides the ones showed (very likely) or Karkat just having a reputation of helping with issues that he is the first one who comes to Tavros's mind
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also Karkat calling him bro is so fucking funny cdbhd, idk if its sarcasm or if its genuine like with Eridan but he seems worried for a little before going on a rant about how stupid this is, only to come back trying to advice him to do this in private (also he winks at him as GTavrossprite but thats smt for the Tavkat shippers)
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Anyway, back to Aradia, after her death we dont know about their relationship that much, we know that the whole reason that this whole revenge cycle was because Aradia wanted to avenge Tavros
But after her death, we don't know if they talk or if Tavros even knows she is dead, as it was mostly secret that only Sollux, Vriska, Terezi and Equius seem to know,
What we know is that Aradia keeps Tavros close to her heart, as the only reason she didnt straight up kill Vriska is
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Because he was there to see it
And thats all the info we have of their relationship while Aradia was a robot, is more than likely Tavros confronted Vriska (besides creating Bec Noir) because Aradiabot had just exploded and he was blaming her for that too (especulation)
Their post-death/revival shows them having the same relationship pre-aradia's death, after they find eachother in the afterlife
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Theyre big pals :)
Staying with Tavros, another friendship people dont seem to talk a lot about is Kanaya and Tavros, which tbh, we dont have a conversation on screen between them, but we know they talk and Kanaya tries to mediate to help him when Vriska is bullying him
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And also, even after she cut Vriska out because of the whole ''Having a crush on her but finding out she has a crush on Tavros'' (probably because she was sulking) she seems to have a fine relationship with Tavros, as she made a Tinkerbull plushie for him
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To other friendships, Kanaya and Feferi! Another group of trolls with very few coversations, but we can easily tell in those that they cared for eachother
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They have a lot in common, being of the few trolls who woked up in their moons before the game, having a huge responsability as their lusus can either kill or revive their entire civilization, being in a unhappy moiralliagance (with their cases kinda mirroring eachother, with Feferi not wanting to be in any quadrants while Eridan wants to change them, while Kanaya wants to change quadrants while Vriska seems to be fine with where they are) and knowing their lusus were going to die when they were 13
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Feferi and Kanaya seem to have very a similar relationship as Karkat and Eridan, where they advise eachother about their moirals + possible romantic relationships. And their very contrasting personalities helps them balance eachother out
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Feferi is even comfortable enough to invite Kanaya to the horn pile and knowing Kanaya's expressions enough to guess that she is nervous about coming off as meddling with them
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After Feferi gets killed off, Kanaya is already ready to attack, only waiting to see what Eridan is planning to do, attack her first or trying to escape
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If it weren't for Kanaya distracting herself with the matriorb, and Eridan inmediately picking on this opportunity
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To piss her off enough to set her off and attack him first
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So she is an easier target that he can kill her off without a fight
Speaking about this two, next time we will to talk about the complicated (annoying) friendship between these two, why next time? because this post is already getting to fucking long!
Come here for Part 2 -> Here! (when its done this will get updated with a link lol)
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yuri-is-online · 1 year ago
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Congratulations on your 500 Followers!🎉 Hope you will grow more! I would like to choose the number 1 prompt, "Someone decides to ask you for your opinion about someone, and you decide to take advantage of your anonymity to admit your feelings. For some reason this flusters them."
For Jack, Sebek and Silver please
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1. Someone decides to ask you for your opinion about someone, and you decide to take advantage of your anonymity to admit your feelings. For some reason this flusters them.
Thank you very much friend! I really hope this is to your liking, and I really hope that you continue to find things that entertain you posted to this account.
notes: they/them used for Yuu, mutual pining, I find Jack really hard to write for because of his whole soulmate thing but please know he loves Yuu so fucking much he is in pain, Sebek thinks he's slick, and Silver is oblivious to a lot. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist.
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Jack
There is a distressing lack of fluffy tails within your line of sight in the ballroom this evening. A feeling has been growing within you these past few months, similar to a crush but so intense it makes you want to fall over with the strength of your longing. You have no idea if Jack feels the same, he has continued to treat you with the same degree of feigned indifference he's held you at since the day you met.
And now he has left you all alone in the middle of a ballroom full of people that very much aren't him. Well that's how you feel it's not like you made any sort of concrete agreement to meet up beyond the typical first year friend group "hey let's all get together" texts that always populated your group chat when the school hosted events like this. You suppose your feet were always going to hurt at an event like this, but you had been hopeful that your heart wouldn't ache as well.
"Come here often?" A strange strangled voice asks, clearly trying to break the ice and not at all serious. You are both leaning against a pillar after all.
"Not really." Your stomach is still firmly in your throat, this person is massive and you see no sign of the comforting ears and tail of a wolf. "You?"
"Nope." And though neither of you make much a move to keep the conversation moving, you don't move to leave either despite the growing awkward aura around you both. You look out across the ballroom, eyes drawn towards Leona desperately searching for a sign. Your strange new friend takes note, he also seems to be looking at Leona. "Not afraid of staring are, you?"
"Is that what it looks like?" You ask slightly distressed.
"Most people just tuck tail and run when they see Savanaclaw." He almost sounds disgusted, but you can't quite tell with who. "I'm surprised you can stand to look."
"I've got good friends in Savanaclaw." You huff. Sure there's a chance this guy doesn't mean anything by what he's saying, but this is NRC. There is a much bigger chance that he does.
"Oh? Like who, Jack Howl?" This bitch-
"No." You cross your arms. "Friends don't make you want to explode."
"... I'm sorry?" The strange man apologizes, and it really does sound like he means it if the way he's scratching the back of his head is anything to go by. Unfortunately you have been sitting on these stupid feelings all night and really need them out in front of someone who isn't Grim, seven knows he doesn't care.
"Seriously like- wolf beastmen have only one soulmate? Forever? So it doesn't matter how I feel I just- never have a chance like ever. Ever ever ever, he's just always going to see me as some annoying hanger on- well maybe not annoying because I actually put in an effort you know?" The captive audience doesn't nod but that's ok, you just keep charging on. "And I know he appreciates that because his tail wags every time one of us do and it's so cute to watch."
"'m not cute."
"But that just doesn't matter he's got somebody already he just hasn't met them yet and I don't even know the right music to try and get rid of my feelings to. It's not like I can just ask him out and hope rejection will make the feelings go away because there is just no way he would be like in anyway nice about it-"
"What if you were that person though?" The stranger's voice is so strangled it's almost recognizable, and it successfully snaps you out of your stupor.
"But I'm not." You want to scream it, but it comes out so very quietly. "He was really clear about that, he'd just know."
"I'm stupid. I mean he is. Stupid. And you're human, maybe the feeling's different because there's a chance for rejection. It's not like humans always have soul mates." A dull silence falls over you both. Unease working it's pesky way back into both of your minds.
Not all humans have soul mates, but you most certainly do. Just... give him a moment, a ball is not his scene. But later when you're all alone, traipsing your way through the woods towards that lonely cottage there will be a wolf primed to strike. Just why did he ever worry Jack wonders, glad for the mask hiding his grin, he knew he only needed to be lucky once.
Sebek
"Just what is your opinion on Malleus anyway?" Sebek tells himself he is asking you this for safety reasons. It's a question he has asked you before, just louder and with force enough to "blow down a barn door" to quote Epel, but this damn mask had a mockingly fitting enchantment that pitched his voice down and quieted it the more he tried yelling. He almost sounded like he was impersonating Jade, something that would likely deeply amuse the strange upperclassmen and seems to have a soothing effect on you. Not that he was jealous!
"Tsunotarou and I are bros." Yuu puts up what Master Lilia had told him was a "peace sign" and "extremely cute" but makes him seethe with rage and actual jealousy, not whatever that sickening feeling he'd had before was.
"You are not." The mask makes his dull roar sound like a middle aged mother gleefully scolding her friend for buying a particularly saucy pair of heels and not the justified rage of a royal retainer. "If you are bros just what does that make you to his retainers hmmmm?" That makes Yuu falter for some reason, mouth moving before the words are fully formed like they are considering hiding something.
That scares him. Because it compromises his lord's safety. Obviously.
"Well, I think Lilia's super cool." An objectively true statement human. A bit sparse on the praise but then what use would Master Lilia have for a human's praise? It would be better spent on him anyway. "He's really smart and happy to talk about what he knows, even if he lies about things sometimes, gotta have fun with yourself sometimes I guess. Silver is a bit dense, but he tries so hard you have to respect him for it." Again Sebek finds himself agreeing with Yuu, but the praise stings for some reason. It's minimal, but he supposes Yuu's avoidance of addressing the issue- not that they are he supposes, they may have stopped speaking but he doesn't think they intend to not give an opinion about him.
"And Sebek?" But he prods for it anyway because he wants it. He knows himself, he is not exactly ashamed of himself but Sebek knows you would never tell him the full truth of your opinion to his face. He can't even call Yuu by their name, why should they-
Sigh, like a besotted Princess in a fairy tale, play with the edges of their cape like a Prince questioning his propriety in voicing his desires but unable to swallow their emotion-
"He's really something else." You mean it, not that you are too sure why you feel like telling this stranger your deepest secret or why you chose to phrase it like a complaint. But the compliment suits Sebek like that you think. And the stranger doesn't stop you. "Knights are sort of out of fashion where I'm from but I've always liked them, and Sebek's the perfect image of one you know? I just wish there was some room in his heart for someone other than Malleus... not that I think his devotion's a bad thing y'know? I just- want to be treasured by a knight too."
"Just a knight?" The stranger asks. "Silver's there too I suppose."
"Nah he's not really my type." You shrug. "I like my guys a little pathetic. Look-" You barely notice the familiar way the stranger splutters as you bow to signal your exit. "I gotta go get Grim before he lights the place on fire, if you see Sebek tell him I'm looking for him? I want to dance with him at least once I just know he's good at it." And with that they're gone leaving an extremely competent and not at all pathetic thank you very much! Flustered mess of a man behind them.
Silver
"Oh hello Prefect." You have no idea who this student is but it is not unusual for people to know who you are given everything that's happened at this stupid school since you accidentally enrolled. "Nice to see you are enjoying yourself, the rolls are really good." And he is not judging you for the amount of bread you have in front of you so as far as you are concerned he can stay.
"They really are." You nod sagely, offering your new friend some of your hoard which he happily accepts as you both turn towards the ballroom to people watch. "I shouldn't be surprised at how good the food is, but somehow I always am." The stranger nods ruefully.
"I know what you mean. After eating so much of fa- Lillia's cooking you forget what things are supposed to taste like sometimes." Oh so this guy is in Diasomnia then? You'll have to compliment Tsunotarou later, this guy is super polite.
"Yeah I can see that, it makes feel bad for Silver sometimes what with how close those two are." You continue munch on your bread, too caught up in the fluffiness of it to notice how the "stranger" pauses, a thought forming in his mind he is sure to regret later but is unable to fully resist.
To long is human, which he is, painfully so.
"Do you think about Silver often?" He hopes he sounds playful, you fluster, looking the man up and down wondering if maybe Lilia has decided to alter his appearance to tease you some.
"More often than I should." Even if this is Lilia, it's not like anyone can really mock you for this can you? It's a Masquerade Ball, you're allowed to spill your guts to a stranger and reasonably expect nothing to come of it. Hell, just because this guy's in Diasomnia doesn't mean he'll say anything. "He's hard to ignore you know?"
"Not really." Silver picks at the bread, half hoping you will drop the topic, half agonizing about how to feel if you do. "He... doesn't have the best reputation in our dorm. People think he's too intense."
"Hmmm." You can see why, people who lack facial expressions often find themselves failing to express their intent. "That doesn't bother me." Oh he could practically soar, his whole body straightens in pride when you say that. "Silver is one of the few people I feel truly safe and... well sometimes I feel cherished around him. But I don't want to put pressure on him since we aren't even really friends I don't think."
"Why wouldn't you be?" He is deeply confused, he knows Lilia's advice is always coached in jokes but Silver didn't think the flowers he asked his animal friends to find would hinder his progress too badly. You were even wearing them tonight, it was how he found you, so it's not like you hated them... right? "I- He cares about you, I mean you know that right?"
"Maybe." Is all you say, eyes looking for someone in the crowd that's sat right next to you oh so painfully unaware- "But if I said I liked him would he even know what I meant? Would he still want to be friends... if..."
"Of course he would." Silver means it, but somehow he feels like he is missing something. The weight of your hand maybe, as you leave the "stranger" in search of... well he hopes "Silver" because if he knew you loved him, because he thinks that was what you meant maybe he wouldn't want to be just friends.
Best friends maybe? He'll have to ask Li- his father later.
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Text
If you recognize the movies/characters hiding behind the decoy titles, please do not give identifying details about them in the notes.
Villain n°1: Radiator Poster
Nothing ever seems to go right for this man. When he finally has what he has worked so hard for all his life, the fine print drags him back down. If he lived in a true meritocracy, his intelligence and gifts would have been more than enough to get him the life he wanted. However because of where in the social order he was born, most of the life he imagines was destined to be out of reach. He can't marry the girl he wants. He can't live in the home he wants. He can't have the promotion he wants. He can't even get a trinket he wants. Luckily he has his closest confidant to vent to since each of them are not allowed to exceed their lot in life.
Villain n°2: Goncharov Spam
I was in charge of leading a bunch of people on a trip to this place that......honestly, I didn't even know if it actually existed, but whatever, the trip's been paid for by this super rich old weirdo who thinks it does. I took this same group on another trip to find some old book that his equally weird friend wanted.
The weird friend died, but he has this dorky grandson who is like a clone of the weird friend. The book the friend wanted is in some weird writing that only the dork can read, so the dork came on the trip to give us directions. Which, fine, whatever, somebody's gotta do it, and if the weird writing says "don't go here, you'll die" I did kinda want to know that.
I should mention here that the book had a picture of what looks like some kind of magic rock So I ripped that page out. when I found out we were going to look for the place the old book was about, I showed my pals the page and offered them a piece of the sale. The only one I didn't tell is the dork because he's a damn idiot and just wants to go see the place and I don't like his skinny ass anyway.
Turned out the place exists, and it's full of people, apparently an ancient civilization. Whatever, I just wanted the damn rock. I......may have held the princess at gunpoint to make that stupid grandson read the page and tell me where the rock is. Once we had the rock, the moron kept trying to tell everybody we can't take it because this civilization (that no one even believed exists or ever did exist) will die. I said who's going to miss them, then? I've been through all kinds of hell in the military, and I just want to be rich and live the good life and my buddies will all be rich too. I even offered the dork a share and he refused! What an idiot.
I know what he thinks, but am I REALLY the asshole here?
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sabakos · 8 months ago
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Cannibalism is not illegal, at least not that widely. I mean you can't kill a guy, but if he cuts off some flesh you can eat it (in the US). You can't eat a corpse because that's desecrating a corpse, but you also can't (generally) even taxidermy a corpse; the laws around handling corpses are very strict. I understand this to some degree because it's a public health issue, but the level of restrictiveness is stupid and illiberal. You should be able to get taxidermied if you want to.
In Papua New Guinea cannibalism is per se illegal, and this is explicitly for public health reasons. Funerary cannibalism is traditionally practiced there (as well as head-hunting and cannibalism of POWs), but outbreaks of kuru have been cited as reason for keeping it illegal. I also think this is illiberal and more egregiously so; people should be allowed to eat people especially if it is an established cultural practice. Some have argued that the public health risk is also exaggerated, with the Fore kuru outbreak being an outlier. But I don't know if this is true.
Killing people is bad but eating them is no big deal. To me. I've never eaten anybody though.
Hmm, so what this seems to imply is that if cannibalism, which is only incidentally illegal in the U.S, were to become more commonly practiced by a minority of residents, it might become per se illegal?The incidental illegality is presumably a result of the social values held by U.S. citizens that caused them to make such laws against desecrating corpses, and I believe that those values would likely extend to prohibiting cannibalism. Paradoxically, I think that despite the fact that taxidermy is also incidentally illegal by these same values, that it might become legal if the prospect became popular enough, because I don't generally see people express disgust (rather than bemusement, perhaps) at something like Jeremy Bentham's auto-icon.
I think "illiberal" might be the wrong way to characterize a prohibition on cannibalism, however? The stated object-level concern of kuru/prion diseases seems to take precedence here, and we (or whoever is in charge of such things, really) should investigate that, because otherwise we get nowhere; either side can easily build narratives about how either the anti-cannibals are using public health as an excuse for banning a practice they find repulsive, or that this ritual practice developed in an environment where such outcomes weren't easily tracked and the impact is larger than the people who practice it are aware of. I'd believe probably both of these are true to some extent, but I think that seeing the actual numbers would be more important.
Also as you might expect from what I've said in the past about my own ethics, I would also disagree about the liberality of sanctifying established closed cultural practices. I don't think that the people who perform cannibalism as part of their culture should be allowed to in principle unless I also get to eat people if I want. Not that I particularly want to do so or would go out of my way to, just in the interest of clean jurisprudence I don't like the idea of designating any particular groups as "special" in the eyes of the law.
I agree with the overall liberal value here though; I should be able to designate what happens to my corpse, even if I want to be taxidermied or eaten, and there would need to be some real demonstration of harm to others in order to get in the way of that. I'm just not sure that there isn't.
I do think I would try human meat if offered and I knew there were no significant health risks and the human consented to being eaten by me. It would probably be disappointing, probably it would taste like pork, but at least I could say that I did it.
I probably won't get taxidermied after I die. Other than the fact that there are better options, this is mostly because I don't want people to think I agreed with Jeremy Bentham about philosophy.
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blubushie · 2 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/blubushie/761610902932979712/idk-if-this-is-just-my-experience-but-i-noticed?source=share
my two cents on the "problematic" content thing is that tf2 is one of those media where you can lean into both feel good shit and darker topics simultaneously.
a recipe for a good tf2 fic is over the top gore and ridoculously stupid humourous scenes.
but also, If you're upset about people posting blood and a lil' guts, you picked the wrong fandom. that said, writers should of course use their best judgement and tag things appropriately. yk if someone comes in complaining about blood, there's a notice that says "you might see some shit"
and I don't play anti/pro ship games because the definitions of such things are fucking convoluted and meant to incite riots at this point, I do believe... I guess it sounds ridiculous to say it but I have seen people complain about "the mercenaries would never..." in the past. and it's always left me scratching my head.
and like this is tf2 we are talking about, people are going to die, horribly, which includes our main protagonists. there will be violence, fire, and swearing.
but also, If you're upset about people posting blood and a lil' guts, you picked the wrong fandom.
There's a reason I don't tag for blood on this blog and that's why lmao. I'll tag for gore gore (it's #haemocyanin btw—think viscera and guts and body horror) but I won't tag for blood.
I have seen people complain about "the mercenaries would never..." in the past. and it's always left me scratching my head.
This as well. IIRC at one point someone (either Hale, the Admin, or Miss Pauling, can't recall who) outright states that a few of the mercs are sex offenders. And this can be anything from "got slapped with an indecent exposure charge for pissing in public on a wall while drunk and had to register" to "outright assaulted someone" and we don't know what it is or who it is. And I'd personally rather my mercs not be violent sex offenders, but we also don't know, and I'm not gonna shit on someone or harrass them for exploring that bit of lore and what the circumstances might've been behind it.
It's very ironic to me that the "oh we're all freaks" website draws their line at, like... petplay or something and you can't go any freak beyond that. Now, it can certainly be argued that certain acts aren't in character for certain characters, but people as a whole are also highly nuanced. Someone can frequent a prostitue and then go home to their happy wife and happy little family. An alcoholic sociopath with anger issues can hold down a stable job and be a good friend and a good person—is that also out of character? People are confusing, extremely self-contradicting creatures, and it's fun to get into their heads. We've all got skeletons in our closet. We've all got something problematic about us, or our pasts. No one's hands are really clean—there's always dirt somewhere, it's just a matter of finding it. Stones in glass houses. I think harrassing someone for the fiction they create is bullshit, personally, even if I do find it morally reprehensible and disgusting in my own eyes. Depiction doesn't equal endorsement.
And people are allowed to not want to interact with people who depict or engage with certain things! God knows I have a few of my own that I wouldn't want to interact with. I just don't reckon nobody should be harrassed for it. I don't reckon real people should be harmed over fiction. I can recall a few groups to recent memory who ordered certain works destroyed, who demanded certain things not be talked about or written about or art done of them, and none of them were the good guys.
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kaylinalexanderbooks · 6 months ago
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OC interview
Thanks for the tag @mysticstarlightduck here and @leahnardo-da-veggie here!
Rules: answer questions as one of your OCs!
This time, I think I'll go ahead and do Lexi!
Are you named after anyone?
“Not that I'm aware of. My parents just really liked the name Alexia. And honestly, I can't blame them! It's a good name. I mean, there are so many variants on the name Alexander. Like I could've gotten Alexandra but that seems a little...I dunno, much? Much. Alexis doesn't...feel right. For me, like, I think Alexandra and Alexis are fine names for people who aren't me. Regardless, I definitely prefer the name Lexi. Alexia feels a little awkward to be called on, like, a regular basis. Again, for me. I'm rambling. The point is, no, I don't think I'm named after anyone.”
When was the last time you cried?
“This morning. I couldn't find my pink pen. Yeah, I know it seems stupid and immature to cry over a pen, but, like, it wasn't like I was upset that my pen was missing, it was the fact that I was stressed over losing it because my pink pen is used to color-code my English assignments. And there's a lot of English assignments, y'know?”
Do you have kids?
“I am in middle school. Middle. Schoooool. Who's even thinking about romance? That'll come with time. Like, high school. And kids much later. Like, after college. I don't have to worry about that right now.”
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
“I dunno. I don't have a record. Sometimes?”
What’s the first thing you notice about people?
“...everything? I dunno, I look at them, and I see them. The whole of them. Is this an attraction question? I already said I was in middle school! I guess height. Like if I look at them, it's either up, down, or straight ahead. Height.”
What’s your eye colour?
“My eyes are brown. Not much to say about them. They're pretty dark brown. My sister has bright blue eyes that really standout against her skin and hair. I'm not jealous, actually, it's just an observation. I happen to like my dark eyes!”
Scary movies or happy endings?
“Happy endings, of course! I love a good happy ending. I mean, sad endings make me sad. Scary movies can have happy endings, I guess. This is a strange question haha. But happy endings.”
Any special talents?
“Well, I am first chair, first violin in my orchestra class! I think I'm a good leader. Usually take the lead on group projects. Um...oh, duh, I play the violin. And I also can organize stuff really well. Good color sense, I've been told. Uh, I gotta garden! It's small, but I wanted to have an out doorsy activity. Brings my anxiety down.”
Where were you born?
“Uh...here in Texas, I think. At least that's what I was told. *Gasp* There's a chance I was born in Alium! I need to ask my pia about that...”
Do you have any pets?
“No. I wouldn't mind one! A dog or a cat would be awesome. Maybe both!”
What sort of sports do you play?
“I don't actually play sports. There'd be a few issues to convince those in charge, anyways, to get me a different uniform. I have haphephobia - I don't like people touching me - and the more skin I show the higher the risk and my anxiety goes up more. So for now, no, we don't want to deal with that. I ride my bike sometimes. If I were to play a sport, it would be either volleyball or tennis, and definitely cheerleading - those girls are so nice!”
How tall are you?
“I am 5'1, meaning I'm about average for my age!”
What was your favourite subject in school?
“Oh! English! I like learning new words - I always have. Phonics may have been my favorite in elementary school! We don't do that a lot anymore, but we still learn a lot more about language. Also, may be biased because all my friends are in my class this year. Well, not all of them. Three of them. Mr. Flanagan also let us choose our groups at the beginning of the year, so I'm always with them!”
What is your dream job?
“I. Am in. Middle school. Why would I be thinking that far? *Sigh* I guess...I dunno, maybe journalism or counseling? I feel like that'd be fun.”
Other interviews: Wade, Jazlyn, Gwen
Other Lexi: OC in fifteen, OC in three, OC questionnaire, two truths and a lie, Picrew, blank bingo
Tagging @somethingclevermahogony @melpomene-grey @squarebracket-trickster @writernopal @writeintrees
@winterandwords @ceph-the-ghost-writer @elizaellwrites @tabswrites
+ anyone else who'd like to play!
TSP intro
TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites @nebula--nix
Blanks below cut
Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What’s the first thing you notice about people? What’s your eye colour? Scary movies or happy endings? Any special talents? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? What sort of sports do you play? How tall are you? What was your favourite subject in school? What is your dream job?
^ for easy copy/paste
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maybeamiles · 4 months ago
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Okay so something happened in the Honkai Star Rail community that really bothered me and I'm trying to put into words what makes me so upset about it.
So Hoyoverse recently hired a new voice actor named Chris Niosi to voice one of their new characters. He is no longer voicing this character. The reason he is no longer voicing this character is because a bunch of people found out that in 2019 Niosi released a shitty internet apology for being abusive to people in his personal life in response to callout posts on Twitter and Tumblr. During this time he also violated an NDA about a role he played in Fire Emblem 3 Houses, and was replaced with Zach Aguilar. He did not face any criminal charges for this behavior, but it is a thing that happened. Naturally people are upset about this and kept asking for him to be fired, and some VA's stood up for him claiming he'd changed, and fans began to lash out against them too. Niosi ended up resigning, and Hoyoverse will hire a new voice actor.
So far, it seems this controversy has not affected his work. Since 2019 he's played Reigen Arataka in Season 3 of Mob Psycho 100 and was an NPC in Genshin Impact.
Now I have a few problems with the community reaction to all this:
Problem number 1: I spent way too much time in the Dream SMP fandom, and have heard way too much bullshit about people being abusers in their personal lives to be ok with any of this. Like part of the reason Dream SMP was so awful is that every other week there would be a new post along the lines of "Dream is the Worst! Here are 7 Heavily Censored Screenshots To Prove Why!" This stuff instantly activates my "I don't like this" senses, I have a very bad reaction to these things.
Problem Number 2: He's a fucking actor. Just because he now has a bit of fame in the community doesn't mean he's somehow more worthy of criticism than he was before. Hell, he still has work in the industry. Just go look up his IMDB. The only reason it matters more in Star Rail is because a lot of the Hoyoverse VA's make extra money off of being Hoyoverse VA's, like how Dan Heng's VA gets the other Star Rail VA's together to do music covers. Even then, he's WORKED WITH HOYOVERSE BEFORE. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT HE'S NOW VOICING A PLAYABLE CHARACTER INSTEAD OF AN NPC.
Problem number 3: Personally, I don't see what online abuse allegations from 2019 have to do with his role as a Voice Actor. Would working at McDonald's or in a less flashy job stop him from hurting people? No! Now, if I was hiring him, I would be nervous about that NDA violation, or that the abuse allegations might flare up into a PR disaster (like they ACTUALLY DID). I might not hire him for a major role. I might take concerns about his mistreatment of his colleagues more seriously. He might not be a Good Face for my company. But, at the end of the day, he is still a Guy Doing a Job, parasociality be dammned, and not doing This Job will not make anything better for the people he hurt.
(Also your (and my) favorite game has like, one not-pale dude in it and is made by a huge dev team that probably has shitty people in it just because that's what happens when you get a large enough group of people together but like heyyyyy let's all jump onto boogeyman of the week now shall we?)
(now, concerns about parasociality I do respect. Hoyoverse VA's are VERY parasocial, and tend to make a bit of extra money from fans by doing cool Hoyoverse VA things. But most people are like ABUSER = BAD AND GROSS and... ugh onto the next slide).
Problem number 4: ABUSER = BAD AND GROSS is a stupid black-and-white mindset and I think everyone who has this mindset should grow the fuck up. People can and do get better, I know people who have gotten better, people who it would be really fucked up of me to stop speaking to because of things I wasn't even alive for, when I don't even know the people who were hurt. People who have already had enough guilt and now need the space to live again. Hell, I've hurt people. You can't divide people into "good" and "bad" and you have to make room for change because if you do not you will hurt someone badly and that mindset will either break you with guilt or turn you into one of the "bad" people without even realizing it. (i reblogged earlier a comic about this exact phenomenon go read it)
At the end of the day I do think it was a good thing Niosi resigned because jesus fucking christ this was a PR disaster, and I would have hated to see him do something like Elliot Ghindi and use the parasociality of Hoyoverse fans to hurt more people (which is just a possibility, not something Niosi has actually done), but I don't think the internet Hate Mob was a good thing. I think bringing up someone's irrelevant personal details into their work life is a universally bad thing and even though he's a semi-public figure, nobody's private life should be exposed like that. There are court systems for a Fucking Reason and I know that they are flawed but also I genuinely believe that this whole internet tradition of making "callout posts" and stuff is incredibly toxic and abusive and I don't want it to keep happening in the fandoms I'm in.
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penelopwgarcia · 2 months ago
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Why did Alexandre de Moraes banned Twitter (or X, whatever) and Elon Musk is having a beef with the Brazilian Supreme Court because of it - from a brazilian
I don't know how many knows it but Twitter has been banned from Brasil - rightfully so, and as I don't want to extend myself so much what happened, in chronological order, is that:
1. The right-wing candidate Bolsonaro lost the elections on 2022, even when he clearly attempted against elections laws by sending feds to lock the streets on the area he knew he would lost (he was the president at this time). It was a miracle that Lula won, there were about 200 operations in various states to BLOCK the population to vote. But anyway, the left wing candidate won, and Bolsonaro's supporters didn't like it a bit. So,
2. They start to provoke people on Twitter, telegram and other social media to plead for the army to illegally take the power off the elected government (there are so many videos of them crying on the gates of the army all around the country is so fucking funny). Anyway the Army did the right thing for the first time ever and stayed quiet and didn't interfere. So then, those who provoke people to plead for a CONSTITUTION CRIME spread more messages for this group to handle the matter themselves through telegram groups and tweets.
3. In January, 8 of 2023 this misery of 3,000 people (and if you check the area where the Supreme Court, parliament and other state buildings are, you'll see they look like ants) vandalized and broke historical items on their wave of stupidity (because they truly thought those acts were leading somewhere) (!!!!also!!!! The cops did shit).
The thing is, as much as political speech will claim the case against the people that went to Brasilia (Brasil capital(yes it isn't Rio I know) and the people behind who orchestrated this federal crime is about democracy, it really is because they defied their power (specially the Supreme Court) and believe me those justices won't stop until each and every one that fermented it be in jail or get punishment of some kind.
But then, what does it have to do with Twitter at all? Because they spread their ideials from there. And if it was a right-wing thing, the same liberal shit, we would have to deal with it. But they're a fascists spreading hate and misinformation and therefore must be fought. And what did the billionaire Elon Musk do? He refused to block those accounts under the argument that it was against freedom of speech, saying it was a censorship, and that was a threat to democracy.
And as everything is political and Moraes (this diva) has the power according to our constitution to ban enterprises that don't have a legal representation in Brasil, he stipulated a deadline for Musk to do so. He didn't, and therefore the platform is banned.
The thing is, Musk could've banned the 11 accounts, but he choose to be whiny bitch under the liberal argument of freedom of speech without regulation and now the platform has lost over 200,000 users. What a genius.
Also, despite the fact SOME NEWS tries to put Brasil's decision as a dictatorship, the EU charges Musk for the very same reasons.
So no, Moraes isn't wrong in doing this because he did follow every step to ban fascists accounts. Regardless of his motivation (and I'm serious on this he isn't any left-wing supporter, back in 2016 when he was commissioner of Sao Paulo, he sent the police to brutalized teachers on strike) he isn't in the wrong side. Who is wrong all along is Musk, and as I see some right-wing conservative news, they are trying without shame to put the billionaire as a token protector of true democracy. As a brazilian who saw those illegal acts and knows who those accounts belonged to, I stand with conviction that freedom of speech HAS to be limited by laws and that the internet isn't a no man's land - if X doesn't follow our rules, then it isn't good enough for us to use either.
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writer-in-theory · 2 years ago
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☁️👀🛏️ Steddie
ooh thank you for the prompt nonnie!! ✨delicious✨
prompt: ☁️ enemies to lovers , 👀 forced proximity , 🛏 only one bed
build-a-blurb prompts || send me a prompt
--
When Dustin asked Steve to chaperone their Hellfire Club field trip, he should've said no.
"C'mon, man, you don't need a chaperone," Steve huffed while he rewound tapes behind the Family Video counter. "You're high schoolers, what's kind of trouble could you get into?"
"It's because of you and your stupid ex-friends we need an adult anyway," Dustin snapped back. Sometimes Steve wondered if his own attitude had been transferred to the kid. "Something about 'the Chicago incident'?"
Oh. Oh yeah, that was absolutely his fault. Steve shook his head, and despite all the bad that had turned up between them Steve still smiled fondly at the memory of his shenanigans with Tommy and Carol.
"Fine, whatever," Steve said, conceding to the blame. "If you need an adult, why can't Munson be the chaperone?"
Steve hated the fact that the kids hung out with Eddie Munson. They were familiar with each other, considering Steve had once been one of the more popular athletes in the school. Even after he'd graduated, Munson had made a point to show up to Scoops Ahoy to see the fall of Steve Harrington with his own eyes. It was safe to say they didn't get along once Steve stopped throwing parties that Eddie could sell at. And now Steve's group of monster-fighting kids had chosen to latch onto said dealer, the same guy who'd relentlessly ridiculed Steve at every opportunity (not that Steve hadn't done the same).
"Because, Steve," Dustin said with the same know-it-all tone of voice Steve hated, "Eddie's a student. We need an adult who's not a student to sit in the hotel. You don't even have to do anything."
That was how Steve got roped into driving half of the little shits to Chicago. At least Eddie was driving with the Corroded Coffin crew, so Steve didn't have to make small talk with a bunch of guys he'd never been friends with in school. Steve really didn't know how the guys got ComicCon cleared as a club field day, but the one time he questioned it Dustin had ranted for so long about sports tournaments that Steve resigned himself to never asking again.
It was fine, he told himself, and he believed it all the way up until they were pulling up to the hotel. Eddie was talking emphatically to the lady at the desk.
"What's going on?" Steve had asked.
"We're one room short," Eddie said, sighing. "It's fine, I'll stay with Gareth."
"Actually," Steve piped up. He hated being the babysitter, the rule-follower, but when he'd signed all those forms accepting responsibility for the entire group he took that responsibility. "You're 20. He's still 17. We could get in trouble for that."
"What? Dude, we've crashed on each others' couches all the time."
"Maybe, but this is a school-sanctioned event."
"Yeah? Well tell me, Harrington, where the hell am I sleeping tonight?"
Eddie had a point. Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose when the answer became obvious. "With me, man, you're sleeping in my room."
They both fought it, but ultimately, this was the only answer that would fly with the school. So Steve and Eddie packed up their bags and headed up to the hotel room—where only one bed awaited them.
"I'm not sleeping with you," Eddie says automatically, flipping his bag up onto the bed.
"Then have fun on the couch," Steve snaps back, shoving the bag back off of the bed.
"I'm older than you."
"I'm the one in charge."
"You sign one piece of paper and you get a God complex? Leave it to Harrington to be that desperate to feel important," Eddie says, every ounce of vitriol he can muster up slipping through with his words.
"Just go the fuck to sleep, I don't care where. It's been a long day, man," Steve sighs finally, shucking off his shirt and tossing it somewhere in the general direction of where he'd dropped his bag.
It would be a long weekend.
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reallylilyreally · 5 months ago
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Hi! Could you share more about the 100th being for better or worse for Bucky -⭐️[“Douglass is over there by the big drapes,” he says, very quietly. “You give me the nod and I'll give him the signal and he'll set them on fire.”] how many plans do they have? When did they plan?
& ⭐️[Alright,” he says when he gets in the car. “How bad is it and is there any sort of plan in place?”] how hard did bucky and jack hug when he came back? Did bucky cry when they switched jackets again? Jack my beloved, so competent but so not ready for *all this*, in a way he also might've felt that he was in someone's else shoes, and so alone after losing so many of the original boys.
Am so in love with second string universe; thank you for sharing and giving us more about the boys and especially brady! 😍
Sorry this took me so long to get to, anon, curse life and responsibilities and shit.
1 - the 100th being for better or worse for Bucky.
So to start with I think it's v important to clarify that they are like this for both of them, it's not just Bucky, the bunch of them are 100% ride or die for both Majors. In the scene you mention it looks mostly like they're worried about Bucky, and to be fair that's a reasonable response for them because he's the one who would show outwards signs of falling apart, BUT the concern is for the two of them as a pair. You go through a whole war watching your twin leaders live in each other's pockets, hold each other up, hold each other back, ground and inspire each other, work as a perfect team, and youre not stupid, you can read between the lines, you can see that there is a depth of love there that is unparalleled. And you probably catch them at it once or twice, or nearly do. They are VITAL to each other, and then they come home and one of them marries someone else. It's going to feel like a bit of a gutpunch to your world view. I alluded to this in the call between B&B after Brady gets the wedding invite, the idea that something so important wouldn't last in peacetime. I think that's what's driving the concern from the 100th really, as well as concern that the marriage might be a mistake.
RE plans, there were probably So Many. This one was probably whittled down from a long list in the small hours of the morning over a LOT of whiskey after Douglass left some poor girl alone in bed, and it was probably carefully selected to have maximum impact and minimal damage. Bet you anything you like there were at least two other men involved with fire extinguishers. Bet you anything you like one of them is Blakely.
Sidebar - I have this rogue idea that the men who weren't in the Stalag sometimes see the POWs after the war and feel a little regretful at the way the bond has changed and the fact that they're now really two groups rather than just one 100th.
2 - Jack and Bucky's reunion
I firmly believe that when Buck returned to England first, and alone, Jack Kidd shook his hand and slapped him on the back and said welcome home etc etc and then went off into a supply closet somewhere quiet and lost his god damn mind.
I cannot even begin to imagine the depths of the grief that he would have gone through, in the war. Over and over again. Boys go up, boys go down. Counting forts over the horizon, never a high enough number. Nagging about bedsheets and babysitting batshit group navigators, never getting to fly and watching all his friends die. Being the person in charge of all that. Fucking terrible.
I know fandom generally has Jack give Buck the sheepskin when he gets back, but I agree with your implication, and I'm inclined to believe he kept it. I don't think he wore it once, I think he put it on the back of his office chair the day of Munster and didn't touch it until he got the call to go meet Bucky et al on the hardstand during Gale's milkrun with Rosie. And then I think he put it on, with the intention of meeting Bucky off the plane and demanding to swap back. He hands Bucky his sheepskin, and asks for his coat in return, and when Bucky hands him the disgusting filthy probably lice-ridden jacket he's been wearing for the last 18m, Jack takes it, and tells him very kindly that he is never ever putting this on his body and that he appreciates the gesture but it's going in the incinerator. And then he asks Bucky if he wants to go up to the tower, because in half an hour someone's gonna need to give his better half some landing instructions.
Thank you SO much for this ask. There's more second string in the pipeline.
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If you recognize the movies/characters hiding behind the decoy titles, please do not give identifying details about them in the notes.
Villain n°1: Goncharov Spam
I was in charge of leading a bunch of people on a trip to this place that......honestly, I didn't even know if it actually existed, but whatever, the trip's been paid for by this super rich old weirdo who thinks it does. I took this same group on another trip to find some old book that his equally weird friend wanted.
The weird friend died, but he has this dorky grandson who is like a clone of the weird friend. The book the friend wanted is in some weird writing that only the dork can read, so the dork came on the trip to give us directions. Which, fine, whatever, somebody's gotta do it, and if the weird writing says "don't go here, you'll die" I did kinda want to know that.
I should mention here that the book had a picture of what looks like some kind of magic rock So I ripped that page out. when I found out we were going to look for the place the old book was about, I showed my pals the page and offered them a piece of the sale. The only one I didn't tell is the dork because he's a damn idiot and just wants to go see the place and I don't like his skinny ass anyway.
Turned out the place exists, and it's full of people, apparently an ancient civilization. Whatever, I just wanted the damn rock. I......may have held the princess at gunpoint to make that stupid grandson read the page and tell me where the rock is. Once we had the rock, the moron kept trying to tell everybody we can't take it because this civilization (that no one even believed exists or ever did exist) will die. I said who's going to miss them, then? I've been through all kinds of hell in the military, and I just want to be rich and live the good life and my buddies will all be rich too. I even offered the dork a share and he refused! What an idiot.
I know what he thinks, but am I REALLY the asshole here?
Villain n°2: Flintlock Gun
My family has had it rough. They were the high-profile targets of a terrorist for my mom’s whole childhood. Eventually they were able to stop the terrorist, but it affected my grandmother badly. She just wants what’s best for me, but she can be a little harsh. None of that mattered too much because I was happy with my life—I loved a boy so much, and he loved me back. We were going to be happy together, and my grandmother was going to be proud of me. Then a new terrorist came. This one pretended to be different, but she wasn’t. She drugged and tricked my boyfriend into thinking he was in love with her. He humiliated me in front of everyone. When the terrorist revealed herself, she continued pretending to be good, saying she had a change of heart. The boy said he really was in love with her, even after he knew that she had taken advantage of him. And now, they’re engaged to be married. My grandmother is so disappointed in me. I’m not like my parents—I couldn’t defeat this threat. Everything I thought was true was a lie. I guess evil is good. Everyone else seems to think so.
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