#i don't even like these games usually
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I love being dragged into a game where the fandom has LONG since been pretty much dead because now i can do what i want with the characters and not fear the fandom telling me how absurdly wrong and stupid i am /hj
The biggest downside is literally no one is making content for it SKBFKSHDJ
#the arcana#yes i'm talking about the arcana#i don't even like these games usually#my boyfriend's obsessed with Muriel and was like 'i bet you'd love Lucio'#so here we are#chilling in the arcana together#for your information i do like Lucio he deserves the worst#i also like Julian i guess
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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2024 Abu Dhabi GP
#max verstappen#autumn posts#and of course Alain Prost!!#this moment is very much me thirsting tho 😵💫#his chesttt his hips his hair looking so BLONDE in the sun!!!!#🫠💫✨#sorry all the spam this morning!!#also I usually don't give too much thought to follower counts on tumblr dot com#folks should make the space they like!! follow and unfollow freely#but I did loose a couple folks and I wonder if it was all the asks ahhh#like definitely if someone is looking for f1 content then random factoids about this Texas gal are Not interesting hehe#but I'm trying to open up a bit more!#I even had some thoughts on Daniel I deleted ahh still trying to figure out where to blog about heavier stuff but probs not on main#this blog is more to escape the real world and bite Max's lovehandles in my mind#with maybe the occational ask game!!#but I'll probs keep my writing on the other blog and my heavier feelings in the old diary...idk figuring it out but its not that serious too#just rambling before work!!#but anyways!! 2025 year of being more open#if you are reading this then hello 😶🌫️ btw ricciardo133 is my fanfic writing space#I'll be waxing poetic about my Max and Daniel feelings there#and yearning over this man's hips and tummy and thighs my goshhhhh#😵💫❤️✨#anyways!!!#hope its an excellent time of day wherever you may be 🌇🏙️🌃#mentally I'll be here 😵💫😵💫😵💫
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do you ever think about how lucanis keeps losing and losing and losing — his entire life? losing his parents, losing his childhood because of the crow training, losing his freedom, his sleep, and one year of his life due to imprisonment. then the maker smiles upon him, and he's discovering something good (rook, the veilguard team, purpose), acquiring something back (his family, his life, his freedom, his job, his city), finding some peace in mundane things (coffee, cooking, taking care of others). it feels like the scales are finally moving, balancing — only for him to lose again. he loses caterina, he can lose his city to blight, he loses at weisshaupt, he loses grip on himself (thanks to spite), he loses control — he loses himself, piece by piece. rook can help lighten the load on his chest (thanks to spite), he gets caterina back, and breathing feels a little bit easier. but loss is not done with him. he loses illario, and it feels like losing a limb, a large piece of himself violently torn away. he's visibly shaken, but no one truly knows what it takes to string the assorted pieces of himself together and keep functioning. and then loss deals what seems like the final blow: some of his friends are dead or lost, and rook is gone, too. he failed; he only knows death, doesn't he? life only takes, and takes, and takes, giving only to tease and take it back. at that moment, he's falling apart completely — until they find rook, and there's a sliver of hope once again. the scales are moving, the team wins, they eventually go back to their lives — and that's when he realizes that the final blow is the life as the first talon.
#it's written with romanced lucanis in mind but i felt like it's important to mention that he can lose treviso too#also it's easy to water it down to some sort of karmic explanation: he dealt death and that's what he gets in return#but i think it's a completely wrong and even harmful take#his story could have illustrated perfectly the cruel and abusive system that crows are;#how it breaks people; abuses them for profit and (usually) brings out the worst in them (illario)#and they lose eventually — themselves; if not power#and even if you manage to stay human and sympathetic you keep losing as well because you're trapped in this never-ending cycle of violence-#--and power play; and that would tie perfectly with zevran's story they tried to play out offscreen in the previous games#it would have been so much more meaningful and impactful than uhhh whatever they did in the game 🙃#that would give illario so much more depth as well#also i don't believe lucanis wasn't shaken after the whole illario ordeal (i think it wasn't shown in the game at all????)#like. illario is/was the closest person to him. he spent so much time with him. and yet nothing???#idc about that stupid hero of veilguard badge gimme the brothers' agony!!!!#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#rook#dragon age the veilguard#dav#dav spoilers#**meta#**writing#UH i love them both so much 😭#someone needs to do the crows rewrites.........#not me obv im not capable but i'd love to read someone's version#anyway.... what do you think.... tell me...... talk to me about the miserable brothers......
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When talking about Boothill's drink order in 2.6, like. Hoyo could have just glossed it over and described it as "a few" or "several" drinks. They didn't bother to program in the actual glasses or anything- it's not like any of us were gonna count them and notice if they put in the wrong amount.
But they specifically chose the number seven, and if it IS just coincidence, it is a very very fun one.
Hsr is also known to make tarot card references- we had the online event shortly before Penacony's release, I'm pretty sure there's at least a couple simulated universe occurrences and a curio, and then Black Swan's Everything.
The Seven of Cups is a card about dreams and making choices when you have multiple options it front of you. It represents resisting self-deception and false dreams, and not letting yourself be charmed by hallucinations. It is a warning to carefully consider what is real vs what is not, which is very important in Penacony as a whole, being the land of sweet dreams, and it becomes relevant to Boothill later, when Primon starts to fuck with his head.
It can also represent someone who is "deep in their cups," which is a more polite way to refer to someone who uses alcohol as a coping mechanism to an unhealthy amount.
I hate that this could be a serious comment on Boothill being an alcoholic to cope with how much horrifying trauma he's experienced...and I have to discuss it looking at Primon's ridiculous fucking face fjkdslajldk
The overall message of the card is to stand fast, keep a clear head, and make your decision. Which suits Boothill beautifully even outside of this patch, since he is the very picture of ruthlessness and straightforwardness- he is able to see that bright clear line between action and result, and he follows it doggedly! Everything he does, he does wholeheartedly and decisively! And we see it especially well when he fights through the partial regression Primon leads him into!
Straight and clear and sure as a bullet, baby!!!
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail boothill#hsr boothill#this took longer than I thought it would I'm like an hour past my usual daily post time#ah well whatever into the void it goes#there's also a Chinese poem called Seven Cups of Tea which I think merits some consideration. but having both in one post was throwing off-#the flow and the vibe of the writing so I cut it. Boothill is obviously very Wild West based but hsr is still a Chinese-made game afterall.#('This American shit is easy' - some Hoyo exec probably flsajflkdsj)#as a note I'm not very well versed in tarot cards OR western movies: so if anyone has extra insights to offer I'd love to hear it!#@ me askbox me put it in replies or tags- whatever. I am unendingly curious about all things and I love to learn. I wanna hear it!!#I always try to look up if things related to Boothill are references to Western movies before anything else...but it's really hard to-#-look up that shit if you don't even have a film title. i now know there's a movie called 7 cups. thanks google.#hsr#boothill#hsr 2.6#honkai star rail 2.6
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This is Tower & Broken's dynamic to me
#slay the princess#stp#stp tower#voice of the broken#stp voices#art#im realizing the size i draw tower & broken is very inconsistent & not at all reflective of her in-game size#oh well#i don't usually have that much to say about the voices but good for broken in the new update. happy for him.#i was always a broken apologist (i thought he was funny)#but i appreciated the compassion he shows towards the princess in this update#idk it felt like showing another side to his 'devotion' shtick#going from 'mindless devotion even to those who are cruel to you'#to 'sticking with someone through their worst moments bc you see a better side to them'#or that's how i interpreted it anyways
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The basegame wedding dress has a pregnancy morph??
#I can never be positive if something in my game is like. a third-party launcher addition#but this is so funny and I had such a strong hunch#because rushing to have your Sim get married before they give birth is such a thing so many players would do!!#and it would be so funny to pay attention to that detail by having the wedding dress show the bump!!!!#all your sim's wedding photos very obviously giving away the reason for the rushed date HAHA#the dress with the pendant at the back that everyone default replaces off (the one with the knife texture) also has a preg morph#which I know because it's the one your Sims get forced into if they attend a wedding#but it's kind of unusual because pregnant Sims don't have the opportunity to change into formal wear?#like pregnant Sims get new undies pyjamas and swimwear in addition to their maternity outfit#and if you direct a pregnant Sim to change into one of them then it changes them into the appropriate maternity fit instead of their usual#but you can't direct them to change into formal and if you use a hacked option like the shop any-wear rack it uses their usual non morph fi#so it has to be something external like a wedding that triggers them to change into formal. and I have no idea why#does this mean there's a BG suit with a preg morph for men??#or did maxis not think that pregnant male Sims would be quite so desperate to get married#anyway I'm probably the last person to know about this LMAO and I'm sure no one cares bc everyone uses wear-anything mods#but I'm a scrub who still prefers to use the default maternity meshes so this is yuge to me#also if you've never seen this dress b4: in the early game all Sims getting married under an arch used to be forced into the same outfits#actually I can't remember if the men got forced into the same suit or if they just used their regular formal#because most BG formal outfits for men were mostly wedding-appropriate#but at any rate. all women wore the same wedding dress. and it was this .... beauty#and I don't remember with which EP it changed but probably pretty early on they just let Sims use their regular formal wear for weddings#so you could pick their wedding dress yourself#but this dress remained hidden by default (I think?) so ironically it meant you COULDN'T use the wedding dress even if you wanted to#also this is completely off topic but you would also go away for your honeymoon#which meant the Sims getting married would literally get driven away in a limousine and stay off-world for a while#it was kind of cute because it really was like they took a vacation from the player too. got up to their own mischief away from your contro#then with bon voyage they introduced ACTUAL vacations and they turned honeymoons into an actual game mechanic#but again these offworld honeymoons are no longer a possibility#kind of like teens 'going out' with permission got replaced by going out on actual outings/dates even though it was a cute event#wow this note section is long and irrelevant. anyway enjoy picking up your wedding dress from a store called 'It's Not Too Late'
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"Your people need their heroes."
Their heroes:
#destiny#destiny 2#destiny the game#bungie#destiny art#lightfall#d2 lightfall#season of defiance#the young wolf#hunter guardian#warlock guardian#mara sov#pouka#d2 nimbus#d2 ghost#fanart#comics#SOME WEEKS LATE FOR W1 COMICS BUT I WAS - YKNOW - BUSY PLAYING#i still didn't even stop to read all lores yet yelp asdfghj#usually its the first thing i do but there's so much going on#let alone my jobs and comms which btw still has slots open!!#hoping this lighthearted comics cheer the community up after the heartbreaking news of weekend#siblings in light sharing the same braincells and those braincells are me#watch denka the warlock crushing on everyone bc i simply don't have a ship for him like my hunter has#separating lightfall and sodefiance plots for my hunter and warlock was the best decision i could do lkjhgfdsadfghjk#if you squint you'll see denka the warlock changed the spider crest in his torso to house light AS IT SHOULD BE#comic
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Did you know 11/11 is Pocky day ? I drew something for this special day hehe
Bonus with Flint under cut
I think Flint would lose this one. Volkner seems to love Pocky a bit too much to afford to lose lmao.
And then Flint would have to buy him more Pocky (he should've thought before agreeing to Volkner's terms lmao). And as Volkner eats them, Flint would stare with sadness in his eyes.
Maybe then Volkner would share, so all is well that ends well except for the disappointed audience (but it's on them for being nosy)
#volkner#gym leader volkner#volkner pokemon#elite four flint#pokemon flint#pokemon#pokemon fanart#pocky day#cheesecake801art#my art#should I tag this as ship so the IRL fans can also be disappointed that they didn't kiss in a pocky game#ignitionshipping#feeling kind of evil rn#but I think the shippers would still like this#i hope#btw if you're curious#i don't really ship them but i don't mind the ship#they are homies#I like them close#romantic or not#so if you like the ship and wanna interpret my Volkner/Flint interactions as romantic you can I don't mind#in my mind even as a couple they'd act like homies as usual anyway lmao#anyway I talked to much here aldkd I'm just happy to post about them again#i wrote for so long that it's not even Pocky day anymore oops
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Langworth is such a funny ship because despite the way they look those are a couple of nerds whose top date idea would be debating each other for fun (and they'll have a great time too)
#ace attorney#langworth#randomly though about them...#there's a bit in aai2 where Edgeworth tries to use a “battle of wits” to cheer Lang up & it works#(at least that's how I remember it)#and it's always the most fun (for me) to debate Lang (& Fran) because usually you're actually working together to find the truth#though I can see why this isn't a particularly popular ship#I feel like it's an Edgewoth ship that's the most... vanilla? fluff?#people yearn for drama & messy backstories but those are just two guys who had tension for like. two days.#and then learned to respect each other. and that's it#so I suspect it's a bit boring for most people. nothing to really sink their teeth in#& I think their personalities are pretty compatible but even I don't really see them as endgame#mostly because their relationship would have to be long-distance but I don't really see it working out long term unfortunately#it's been a while since I've played the aai games though
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genuinely what is the appeal of 4k/ultra HD textures in a game like skyrim or ts4. what could you possibly be doing that requires you to look at things that closely on a mid-poly mesh with a stylized texture. what is the point.
sometimes things that are higher resolution and sharper and more detailed. are worse.
#my textures are actually bigger than the vanilla ones for both games#usually 2x#that amount of HD is useful#more than that and I don't even like how it looks
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Any plan to buy a Peter plushie or any Yb merch?
I'm broke lmao
I would love a yb plushie tbh, it looks really cute, but I'd rather get a second hand one, don't wanna give the creators money
cutie patootie
#it'd cost my soul and a sock to get one since I live in South Africa#I can't even get a binder since the good ones are usually over R500 and I have honkers my guy#plus I don't have a stable income so like#but it's fine I don't need one really#I don't know what other merch they have but if it's just a bunch of tops with yb on it I'd pass on it#yb game#your boyfriend game#Your boyfriend plush#Your boyfriend peter#Yb peter#plushies#asks
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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I'm bouncing around a larger post about Nishiki and the mortifying ordeal of being known, but in the meantime I'm thinking about Nishiki and Kiryu and how the clothes make (or don't make) the man. Like, beyond my visceral horror that Kiryu begged Nishiki to pick out a safe and boring suit for him in Y0 and then said he was envisioning something purple with gold stripes.
I'm thinking about Nishiki's incredible sensitivity to image and his need to control how he's perceived. I'm thinking about Kiryu's inability to let go of the past. I'm thinking about how KIryu dresses like who he thinks he is, and Nishiki dresses like who he thinks he wants to be.
There's some interesting incidental dialogue between Nishiki and Kiryu in Y0 while they're en route to the men's suit store. I wish it wasn't so easy to miss, because there's a lot to unpack here. (I'm just transcribing the English in-game subtitles here; I don't speak Japanese so I have no idea how loose vs. direct the localization is in this part.)
NISHIKI: …now that I think about it, you've been dressing like an old man since we were kids. KIRYU: Have I? NISHIKI: Yeah. The few times we got to pick our clothes, it was always like, "you're choosing THAT?" NISHIKI: I wouldn't say you're a plain guy…You'd pick shirts with weird prints though. KIRYU: Guess I forgot all that. It's weirder to me that you haven't. NISHIKI: Well, confession time. You're why I started caring about fashion. I swore I'd never go out dressed like you. KIRYU: Come on, I'm not THAT bad. [we have already discussed why kiryu is, in fact, that bad.] NISHIKI: [laughing] Aww, did I hurt your feelings? NISHIKI: Well, this time you've got me with you. I'll see my bro gets taken care of. KIRYU: Heh. What an honor. NISHIKI: Leave it to me.
Nishiki doesn't bring up Sunflower Orphanage much; when he does share memories of his childhood, those memories are kind of painful (see: "do orphans not get to dream?"). Kiryu's surprised that Nishiki remembers how they dressed as kids, but it makes sense that wearing a limited selection of hand-me-downs stuck with Nishiki so strongly. His clothes announced his poverty, and they weren't even his -- he had to share them with the other orphans, so what he wore showed he belonged to yet another stigmatized group. And I'm sure people picked up on those visual signals, especially other kids. Kids can be vicious, and appearance is an easy and immediate target! We don't know for sure how young Nishiki interacted with his peers and teachers, but given what the Morning Glory kids go through in Y3 (and given, like, everything about Nishiki), he probably didn't have a great time.
Kiryu frames his childhood as poor but loving, and places much more emphasis on the latter. There might be some rose-colored glasses at work there -- let's look at the flashback where Kazama tries (and fails) to violently dissuade Kiryu and Nishiki from joining the yakuza.
KIRYU: I owe you everything, but this isn’t about that. [...] We’ve looked up to you for all this time. Your car. Your confidence… The way everybody bows to you. We idolized you. I want that life, too. Is that so wrong!?
Nishiki doesn't really speak in this flashback, but like, Kiryu uses "we" enough for us to draw some obvious conclusions about Nishiki's own motivations. That being said, I don't think Kiryu's being dishonest or disingenuous when he describes his childhood as happy, and himself as well-loved. He's not ashamed of his upbringing, and he doesn't hide where he came from. Nishiki seems to have the inverse view. It's not that he doesn't love (at least some of) the people he grew up with, but what comes up first for him is what he didn't have. He didn't have money. He didn't have respect. He didn't have a cure for his little sister. He didn't have a lot of choice, right down to the clothes he wore.
(There's a whole other essay here about why Kiryu's and Nishiki's perspectives diverge on this, but I'm trying to limit the scope of this post. Suffice to say that, while I don't think game canon gives a timeline, I do think Nishiki was a little older when his parents were killed -- old enough that he actually remembers them, at least.)
The same mindset fuels Nishiki's interest in fashion. Yeah, part of it is that he's ribbing Kiryu, but I think it goes deeper than Kiryu wearing ugly shirts. Nishiki doesn't want people to look at him and see what's missing. Fashion isn't a means of personal expression for him, really. It's a message. It's the interplay of knowledge and resources and presentation: knowing what clothes read as successful and trendy and expensive, being able to afford those things, and convincing people that your successful important outfit makes you a successful important person. And he's not wrong about the social dimensions of fashion.
NISHIKI: Try sporting a suit that runs 500 grand for once. Trust me, you’ll see the world in a whole new light. KIRYU: Fashion’s not my thing. Besides, Kazama-san never wore flashy clothes. NISHIKI: You do realize he’s the family captain, right? Number two in the whole Dojima operation? You get to that level, you can wear whatever you damn well please. But for the rest of us, “flashy” is part of the business. KIRYU: So that fancy new car you bought was just “business”. NISHIKI: Yeah, and that fancy lighter of mine, too. Which you still haven’t given back. KIRYU: You want to play the rich guy, quit being so stingy. NISHIKI: But you get what I’m saying, right? People see the expensive car, the designer jacket, and the gleam of that little Dojima pin, they pay attention. A yakuza’s only as good as his image. [...] Take your buddy today. These squeaky-clean idiots, borrowing money just to blow on tits and booze… Nobody in this town gives a crap about substance. What you see is what you get.
That's our first take on one of the major themes of the game: what does it mean to be yakuza? Again, there is truth to what Nishiki's saying here, particularly in terms of the ethos of the eighties. I'm not an expert on the bubble era, but the worldbuilding in the game speaks for itself. People hail taxis with 10,000-yen bills. You punch money out of punks during random street battles. Nishiki keeps a personal bottle of high-end booze at a bar he's visited twice, mostly because he "can’t stand being taken for a bum." The act of spending is important, not what you're spending it on.
Nishiki's outfit in Y0 is perfectly suited (heh) to that outlook. And look, I might be inviting controversy here, but in context, I think it's a werq. Yes, it's loud. But the silhouette -- squared shoulders, single breasted, thinner peaked lapel -- is right on trend for the time period, and it fits him well. The colors look good on him. The bold pattern (no, it's not animal print) under the solid maroon is a risk, but he pulls it off. And excess aside, he knows when to pull back on the accessories. It's bright and confident and memorable, and boy would Nishiki like to be all of those things.
Also -- and importantly -- Kiryu would never go out dressed like that. Because we can't talk about Nishiki and Kiryu without talking about Nishiki's Mt. Fuji-sized inferiority complex. Mastering image doesn't just make Nishiki stand out; it makes him stand out from Kiryu. Let's go back to the beginning of the game.
NISHIKI: I’ll admit, though, you’re finally starting to look the part. You make a pretty convincing yakuza. You’re done with collections today, right? KIRYU: Yeah. NISHIKI: Good. That should put Kazama-san’s mind at ease a bit. KIRYU: Heh, dunno about that. But he always knew all I could do is fight. You’re the one who’s good at the dance.
Nishiki then calls attention to the "rags" that Kiryu's wearing, which...is not an unfair assessment. (TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT, KIRYU. HEM YOUR PANTS.) As the two of them walk around Kamurocho, Nishiki offers Kiryu plenty of hot tips, from meeting girls to making big bucks to cozying up to the brass. But even when Nishiki's opining on his area of expertise, there's a competitive edge to it. "You asking me to pick out clothes for you means you admit you have terrible taste," he tells Kiryu on the way to the suit shop. Kiryu tells him to shut up, but there's no actual hurt behind it. Kiryu doesn't really care that his taste in clothes sucks. Fashion isn't important to him. Most of the things Nishiki knows so much about don't really matter to Kiryu. And that makes Nishiki feel more insecure! Because if Kiryu rolls out of bed looking like a yakuza, if Nishiki's image counseling sessions aren't helpful or meaningful, if Kiryu can skip the dance and get to the top on the strength of his fists and convictions, then who cares about Nishiki's 500 grand suit or his hourlong hair care routine? If image isn't what makes a yakuza, what does that make Nishiki?
At the end of Chapter 6, Nishiki tries to look out for Kiryu again -- this time, by granting him a merciful death before the Dojima Family drags him to the Hole. It's one of my favorite scenes in the game. Nishiki's crying too hard to aim the gun properly; Kiryu tells him to man up and shoot. Finally, Nishiki collapses.
NISHIKI: Can’t do it… How could I shoot you!? Without you, I’ll always be nothing. Can’t make it as a yakuza… No. I wouldn’t even still be alive now if I didn’t have you beside me! I’m just… If you’re not with me, I’m useless! Nothing means anything!
Mastering image hasn't granted Nishiki anything of substance. At the end of the day, Nishiki's playing dress-up, and he knows it.
And I'm almost certainly getting into overthinking-this territory now (if I haven't gotten there already), but I kind of like the spin this puts on Nishiki ripping his expensive suit off in Chapter 14 when he decides to fight the Dojima Family at Kiryu's side. Like yes, ripping off your outer layers to get at the naked (so to speak) truth -- your irezumi, and what it represents -- is just Yakuza Storytelling 101. It's decisive, it's kind of dumb, it's great, it gets me hyped every time. But I like that Nishiki's honest answer to "what does it mean to be a yakuza?" isn't about looking the part. I am genuinely trying not to end this paragraph by saying that Nishiki must become like a dragon, but like...you get where I'm going with this.
Of course, Nishiki's back to playing dress-up in Y1/Kiwami. I'm not the first to call the Patriarch Nishikiyama look a glow-down (though I like the patterned white tie). Like, fashion-conscious Nishiki would look good in a Hedi Slimane/Tom Ford-esque skinny black suit. But he picks a silhouette you'd expect to see on a much older man, torso-swallowing pants and all. The slicked-back hair doesn't help. He's just so transparently trying to look bigger and broader and older, and he doesn't pull it off. Big Bad Patriarch isn't a good look for him, in any sense of the phrase.
A final thought: Kiryu's clothes, and Nishiki's commentary on them, are the subject of their first conversation in Y0 -- and of their last. Kiryu's costume progression in Y0 is a pretty obvious commentary on his journey, to the point where Kiryu and Nishiki explicitly call attention to the color connotations in their final exchange. As a Dojima grunt, he wears black, and it doesn't look good on him because "brutish thug who keeps his head down and does what he's told" isn't a role he's comfortable with. He wears white when he works in real estate, but the change in color isn't enough to sell anyone on his transformation into a civilian. Although it's a little rich for Oda "Red Clown Shoes" Jun to chide someone for not wearing a proper suit. At the end of the game, Kiryu's in his classic grey suit, and well, the game spells it out:
KIRYU: I’m not feeling black or white these days. This is where I’m at right now. I chose it myself. I’m making it a fresh start. NISHIKI: Fine, fine. See if I care! Wear it the rest of your life!
Nishiki, dismayed, tells Kiryu that the grey suit already looks dated, but for Kiryu, "fresh start" doesn't mean "on trend". His image might be out of step with how other yakuza view themselves, or want to be seen, but if he's always going to look like a yakuza, he might as well stake his claim on what being a yakuza means. Still, it's telling that, even as a young man, Kiryu looks like a throwback to an earlier era. As the series progresses, the games hammer this home more and more. How many antagonists tell Kiryu that he's out of touch with the modern world, that he represents a version of the yakuza that no longer exists, that it's time for him to make way for the next generation?
"Wear it the rest of your life!" is a funny little in-joke, yeah, but...it's a little sad when you think about it, isn't it? Kiryu gets new outfits from Y3 on -- and in every game, he ultimately puts the suit back on and heads to Kamurocho. It's exactly of a piece with how Kiryu views being yakuza. We, and he, can debate the exact extent of his retirement from the Tojo Clan's affairs, but the yakuza isn't a career for Kiryu, it's a set of beliefs he carries with him. He wears the suit the same way he wears the dragon on his back: as an indelible part of his self-image.
#yakuza#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza meta#kiryu kazuma#nishikiyama akira#kazuma kiryu#akira nishikiyama#i've been poking at this thing intermittently for months but a certain tournament really got my mental gears going again#yakuza's just really fun to put under a microscope#i'm interested in the way the games do things even when i don't like what they do#(although to be clear i *do* generally like how rgg dresses its cast)#(even the outfits i make fun of are usually like...coherently delivering a statement about the character wearing them)#genuinely did not think i'd spend so much time writing this but hey#maybe i'll do these kinds of posts more than like...biannually...if they're sufficiently interesting#meta
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qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.
do you see my vision?
#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying#“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME#neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry#i need them to be friends#i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand#i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences#and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively)#i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them#and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set#and make them their own#they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life#the mcs ever#at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker#and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating#the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people#the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it”#and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?"#jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise#cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away#kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self#anyway i'm going insane how yall doing#neil josten#jean moreau#all for the game#the sunshine court
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I CAN ONLY DRAW PADPARADSCHA PLAYING VIDEOGAMES NOW??? I LITERALLY CAN'T DRAW ANYTHING ELSE ANYMORE???
#I really wanna draw but lately I don't feel like drawing and I hate it#my relationship w drawing is a bit like Rutile with medicine but without Pads inbetween: I can only do that#I love drawing but there isn't anything else I can do so I'm like forced to only draw#and it usually calms me but now it's like my arm doesn't have enough energy to move even tho I'm not ill or anything#I don't wanna do anything else I can't even bring myself to watch anime or read something#at most I play hsr for two minutes and then bye#I even have that new gaming controller I love but I have no mental energy to play#and I love talking with people but lately I have less and less energy for that#sorry for venting I don't like doing that either#padpasomething#8nigiri's hnk au shitcomic
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