#i don't actually recognize the blog this is from but im not always the best at that so if we are familiar with one another already

[frenetic-chameleon]

Is there anything that you really want to do before you die?

honestly, i think i'd just like to really live first. you know? i want to do more, experience more, learn more, see more. the universe is so vast and beautiful and busy, and i am so small and tired but part of it nonetheless. i want to see the world get better than it is right now. i want to feel better than i do right now. i want to build up a better support system for myself and start seizing opportunities as they come to me. i wanna see myself and the people around me keep growing into the people we want to be, even as that ideal changes with us. mostly, i want to be safe, and loved, and happy. i hope that answers your question

[acid-ixx]

I’m new, I just read your fic about neglect reader. I haven’t read through your blog yet but I am so excited after reading this fic. I am an emotional wreck right now and my curiosity is eating me alive with this question “Does reader know about Jason? Will they ever met? Ever have a platonic relationship together? Will Jason be more of a brother to reader?”

I’m sorry I speed through the fic and tears are in my eyes I couldn’t think straight BUT I notice that Jason is hardly there so I’m curious. Please this is such a brain rot, it’s way past midnight after I read this cause I keep stopping to cry.

major (?) spoilers below.

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

hello anon !! im so happy ppl are getting more exposed to the content i have written so far. anyways, i can't believe i also got others to cry bec i did too when i was writing 😭

anyways, to answer ur question: yes! the reader will meet jason and he would actually be the first sibling you would meet after you have left the manor. the way he would turn yandere for you is a different approach to how the others would be because in the prequel, it has been stated that you had your fair share of encounters with him.

"will they ever have a platonic relationship with him/see him as a brother?" maybe, maybe not. because your meeting with him would all be a blur to you, and jason's obsession would stem from the trauma he had experienced, causing him to be more protective of you.

you're not in your best mindset and you're vulnerable walking through the streets of gotham and all alone? oh god, only a dumbass would do that— but once the red hood recognizes your face and the way you carry yourself so pitiably, he immediately tries to take you in his arms just as he should.

but the moment you push him away? tell him to fuck off despite your drunken state? the moment you cry and tell him you could deal with everything yourself without his help or anybody else's? you just remind him of himself and that triggers his first spiral into yandere-ism.

it's the way you share trauma, the way you both feel immense anger. he should've noticed sooner because you two would've been as close as peas in a pod. and yet he failed you by being a hypocrite. you were literally taken into the manor right after his death and discarded like you were mere trash. he should've taken you away when he had the opportunity to but he was too caught up in his feat of revenge.

yet the worst part was that he had taken notice of tim before he did you, and jason had momentarily hated you too because he thought bruce had replaced him. if he had looked through that veil of contempt that he had for you, and saw just how neglected and in need of attention you are, then he would've taken you under his wing.

but he didn't, and he had done the same thing to you as most did.

so take it as you will when i say you're more or less going to be closer (albeit unwillingly) to jason than anybody else because unlike his other siblings who are bound by their vigilante duties, your big brother jason wouldn't mind shooting any creeps who think they could touch his precious angel.

and he gets it, too, angel— you hate him, you hate them all and that's valid. but you can't just walk out in the streets alone and expect to be home in one piece; so leave it to him to scout your apartment alright? leave it to your big brother jason to intimidate the goons who try to stalk you when you're not looking. even if you don't want him near you, you'll always find warm food by your table and a note reminding you to take care of yourself more often.

it hurts when you rip the paper to shreds but it breaks his heart even more if you refuse to touch the meal he would leave for you, because that probably means you saw him as danger more than anything else. and he doesn't know it, but you're already planning to make a run for it now that you're under red hood's radar.

it's obvious that you have no experience when it comes to living by yourself, so please don't fucking push him away and let him protect you from any harm. your self destructive habits only causes him to become more protective of you and it only lets him stalk you more often to ensure nobody would touch his precious angel.

just like dick, you'll be treated more like a child than that of a young adult, but at least jason has the concept of personal space compared to your eldest brother. but still, jason wishes to hold you in his arms.

heaven forbid if the joker ever got his crummy fingers on you. jason would go berserk.

little does he know, little does your family know just how much they had lost the opportunity to keep you in wraps inside the manor.

they should've never let you out in the first place.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi!!

I just wanted to ask some advice from one butch to another.

I recently got my dream job of being a warden on a nature reserve (and i love it!), while interacting with people there I get called a young man very often (i am 18 lol) and it gives me euphoria to know im masculine enough to even pass as a man. I've also had some volunteers ask if I was a man or not (despite my feminine name).

But recently I got called a "lady" outside while out with my mother. It drove me INSANE I cried alot.

Don't get me wrong I do identify as a woman but I hate being seen as a lady.

I've even thought about using he/him pronouns recently and changing my name but i'm too scared to as most people won't understand bc im still a lesbian.

Is this strange?

ps love u and ur blog lots xx

This is an easy answer because I was 18 once and looked enough like a teenage boy that I got "hey sport" and "hey young man" all the time, especially when in my work clothes. I worked for The Mayor's Youth Corp in Iowa City in the summers of my 15th and 16th year. Mom and Dad let me get a work permit AND bought me a used Datsun Pickup so I could drive myself the 20 miles there and back each day.

I was a volunteer with the Corp of Engineers youth from 14 to 16 and Dad knew I was super excited about this job. Mom was not thrilled that I wanted to cut my hair but my "grand mullet" was really hot under the hard hat in the summer heat of Iowa. (in the 1980's boys and girls had the short in front long and permed in back look) We compromised and I cut the sides really short. (photo of my me at 16 in my uniform for reference)

Using "he" would never have occurred to me because "EWWW Boys". This is not to say, however, that I hated being mistaken for a boy, on the contrary, it felt good. When someone thought I was a young man it meant they treated me as such. They didn't talk down to me, I knew they assumed I was capable and willing to get dirty. I knew unconsiously that along with the mistaken identity came many perks. This was nothing I analyzed but little girls see very early on the difference in treatment they recieve from their brothers, male cousins and neighborhood boys. This difference leads us to become negotiators to control our circumstances and not entittled to treatment based on our skills and actual personalies.

When an adult recognized me as a boy, even for a second at first glance, I knew I didn't have to prove myself. They, for an instant, assigned to me words like "strong, capable, demanding etc". No negotations required.

When someone realized I was a girl they literally had a change in their face. They smiled at me, softened their voice. When I was called "young lady" or "Miss" it always seemed to be backed my the worst assumptions (in my mind anyway). Lady is steeped in all kinds of traits I didnt want assigned to me. "quiet, weak, likes to dress pretty"OR "motherly, submissive, meek" Nothing good in my teen brain, that is for sure. Lady felt so OLD, so married to a man and reliant on him for survival, so polyster pants and ugly flats and scratchy blouses with a flower imprint. NONE of these things are inherent to being a woman or even socially forced on us but that is not how things work sometimes. Words that describe people get stereotypes and myths and traits attached to them all the time. Woman and girl are no different.

I can tell you, the best feeling in the world when I was in that job was when my supervisor, who damn well knew I was a young woman, trusted me with all the same tasks as the boys. Who valued my opinions and abilities equally to the young men. He took time to teach me what I didn't know, just like with them and didn't assume I couldn't or didn't want to learn things on the job. He didn't shame ANYONE for not being strong enough or for getting tired or needing a break.

Don't let the assumptions of others force you into another box of conformity. You don't need a boys name or to use any pronouns you don't feel connected to just to please others. In fact, none of that effort will change perceptions of those around you. I can promise that one day being called Lady will just be another word that you can hear and know it does not change your personality or your interests or control the hope you have for your future. What does waste a lot of time and energy is trying to adjust things in your life to fit incorrect or snap assumptions about you as a person. You can never control the thoughts of those around you but what you can do is stop worrying about it and enjoy YOU.

You have a job you love and are sure to thrive in. You are solid in your sexuality and love of women, you are in a unique position to possibly change the perceptions of others when they think of "young women". Your interactions with the public are sure to effect the assumpions of at least some people when they think of young women and their roles in our society.

Congratulations on your new career and I bet you rock that uniform.

[discourse-by-candlelight]

(I'm not plural, but I'm in a community that has a lot of systems (alterhumanity) and I never understood one thing about syscourse, I would like to ask you because I want to better know other members of the community. )

How different are endo systems from transid stuff?

Additionally: can you be an endo system who didnt self diagnose? Im asking because I saw a self-dx blog that was strictly anti-endo and it made me wonder because afaik being endo is almost always self-dx'd.

I see anti endo DNI and pro endo DNI almost equally thrown around and Im just here. Not getting it at all.

You don't have to answer if you don't want to though! I just thought this would be a good place to ask because this is a syscourse blog

Hi! We'd be happy to answer these to the best of our ability. Most of this is simple once you're in the community for a time but it's easy to see how it could be difficult for an outsider to understand.

To begin, plurality is absolutely different from transid stuff. Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably from the transid community first plural community second. Like with many things transid they like to try and slot themselves and their beliefs into our communities and co-opt it for their own use (if you can't tell, we're not exactly big fans, although transids are allowed on our blogs so long as they know we're not supporters, dnis are stupid in our opinion). The plural and endogenic communities are entirely separate from that movement, however.

Plurality refers specifically to the concept of being more than one identity/person within the brain and body. Endogenic means that your plurality formed for any reason other than trauma. An important thing to keep in mind going forward is that plurality does not inherently equal a dissociative disorder, unlike what many may say against us. The entire cornerstone of the plural community is that these experiences are often non-pathological and can occur for various reasons. For example this blog is ran by the Candlelight Society, we're a tulpamantic system, meaning we used tulpamancy to shape and for the most part create our system and plurality. There's plenty of people with DID/OSDD who also use the plural label, but the label itself is for everyone who experiences a state of being more than one regardless of origin or experiences related to it. The difference between this and transid should be pretty obvious. The closest thing we can think of to an overlap is the concept of "transplural" but that's just another way of saying created system brought into our community by transids, and is for the most part considered a ridiculous term in comparison to tulpa/tulpamancer, parogenic, or created system.

Onto your other question, this one's actually kind of funny, because it implies endogenic plurality is something that's diagnosable. Endogenic plurality is, as said earlier, not pathological or even a largely medically recognized thing at all. Plurality is an opt-in label, like alterhuman. You decide whether your experiences match up with the experiences described by the plural community. For that reason saying whether plurality is something that is self diagnosed or not is a bit silly really. You don't often hear people saying they self diagnose as alterhuman, not in our experience anyways.

TLDR: we're very different from transid concepts and we're an opt in label, thus kind of always self diagnosed if that even fits at all due to our non medical nature.

Hopefully this helps put some things into context. This was pretty quickly and sloppily written so forgive any grammar mistakes. Also if you'd like to learn more about plurality, tulpamancy, or some general syscourse topics feel free to send more asks and we'll provide some sources that may be useful to you when we have the time.

Have a great day!

[bonefall]

Probably an odd question bc its not exactly about warriors, but unfortunately ur the only one i know to ask. I really want to make my own blog for a Warriors AU but im not sure how to go about it. It's a little daunting I guess? What worked for you when making the blog, and should I focus on art, writing about the lore, or some mysterious third thing?

I actually got my initial followers by throwing in thoughts about Thistleclaw and Snowfur during a time when the fandom was buzzing about them for no particular reason. I got RB'd by a bigger blogger and got a circle of like... 50ish followers from there

I think the most important, foundational belief that will help you is to remember you are having fun. It's Tumblr; no one gets REAL clout here. Be silly, shitpost, chat publicly with people, be nice and remember that the vibe should always be, "Sleepover and we're all pitching ideas."

Uhhh assorted thoughts,

It's ok to write in any format you like best. I do a lot of bullet points because I have chronic focusing issues.

Adding a simple picture to any text post immediately boosts engagement with it. If you can draw a doodle for a character or concept you're gonna talk about, people enjoy that a lot

Describe images when you can. It's massively appreciated for screenreaders.

On that note, try to avoid google documents and offsite links, have a link and a "read more" where you post the text. Take advantage of Tumblr's lack of character limit.

Try to visually break up your textwalls. It really helps people read your stuff.

OH and remember; when it comes to followers, quality over quantity. You will be so much happier if you don't focus on follower count. Instead, focus on the Regulars who come into your replies to be like "IM CRYING WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS OH THST HURTS SO GOOD".

I get a massive spark of joy when folks I recognize come into the inbox. It's much more rewarding than watching faceless numbers go up.

[koolades-world]

hi, super unrelated to obey me BUTTTT i was wondering how you handle your request inbox? is that what it’s called? is it ask inbox? nvm you get my point… i think? idk i just imagine it’s very stressful, like do you chose a prompt that interests you first or do you go by the oldest first.

i like to think about how fun it would be to write stuff and posts about my interests — i even think it’d be fun to get requests. however, i also recognize that i don’t think i could handle it. as much as i’d want to write as a hobby, some part of me knows the moment i start getting requests, i will start viewing it more as a job. i bet there are asks that also bring motivation or inspiration but i’m not 100% sure.

i was just curious if you would be willing to give some insight or your personal experience. totally fine if you don’t want to or don’t know how to respond to this. thank you!

hello!! this is different from the stuff i usually get but I'm super happy to answer your questions and try to help out :)

not really sure what it's called either now that i think about it. i think i just call it my inbox?? idk haha. i rarely talk about my tumblr with anyone and actually don't even mention i write just to have to avoid explaining what exactly i write is to someone who doesn't know. the only two people who know are two of my best friends <333 love you guys since i know you might see this <3 although i will say mentioning that youre a tumblr writer always seems to kill the convo haha

usually, i work in the order i get them! right now, i've just made it into the beginning of feburary since i just have so many and i don't want people to feel like picking favorite because ultimately, anons are people who enjoyed my content enough to make a requests and i want to see that through, to let them feel that excitement that someone whos work they liked actually wrote their idea! some requests can be kinda hard to do sometimes, so i usually need more time to do those so i have time to dwell on the idea. but sometimes they just click and i have it done in less than twenty minutes! sometimes i do occasionally fast track a request if i'm very inspired or if it really speaks to me!

the amount of requests can get a little overwhelming at times, but it's so heartwarming to know that many people like the content i make. right now i have 77 unwritten i think? one day i'll make it through all of them but i don't think ill ever get back to 0 /pos

in order to continue writing it has to be fun for you!! it for sure should not feel like a job. i used to write back in 2020 because of all the extra time i had on my hands, and i lost the time to keep up, so in 2023, i migrated here to try and pick it up again. i'm a stem major (bio my beloved <3) and it's my passion but it leaves little room to be creative, so this is my outlet! i feel like it's a good way to express yourself if you couldn't otherwise. i was so excited when i got my first request! i still remember it clearly just because of how excited i was. it's fulfilling to make people happy with something as simple as words that came from my silly little brain

honestly i blew up much faster than i ever thought i would so i still feel like im all too new at this tumblr blog thing. i still learn new things about tumblr all the time, such as custom themes on desktop haha. i've had this account and have been writing since march of last year but i didn't really start to pick up steam until january of this year because i started posting daily to try and get through all my waiting requests just to like, explode probably because of the consistent posting, so if you are still interested in writing, for sure take it slow! if it's just for fun, don't worry and actually try not to be too consistent. if you want to grow quickly, consistency is key no matter what schedule you decide on.

if i get rude requests, which has only happened a few times now, i just don't do them because i don't want to reward that kind of behavior, even if the idea is magnificent. for sure lay out rules if you do plan to go ahead with writing. be firm with them! im not great at that lol. also remember that you aren't obligated to at all! you are the one choosing to be here and you only have to do the ones you want, or none if you choose not to take requests. i like them because it gives me ideas i wouldnt have before because it can be kinda hard to come up with original ideas at the pace i would need them for my daily post. but, the pace i move at is very fast and it even scares me sometimes, so that wouldn't be too much of a problem for you if you chose to write

hope this was helpful and let me know if you need anything else. always happy to help <3

[pardonmydelays]

https://youtu.be/G9ML_k0inMk?si=ELn90_R8s_Gm_0il

I'm watching act 5 of Macbeth Lady Macbeth she's so hot to death She's singing out out damn spot Then I hear someone's cell ringtone "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" FUCK YOU LADY!!! WE'RE IN THE THEATER WATCHING MAGIC!!! OMYGOSH YOU INTERRUPTED THIS SCENE IS TRAGIC!!! MAN. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!! I WISH MACBETH KILLED YOU INSTEAD OF THE KING!!!

yEAH, you hear the shushing of the crowd And now shushing of the crowd is EVEN FUCKING LOUDER??? And the cellphone gonna do a harm So the lady's like, "I MUST HAVE LEFT ON THE ALARM"

Airplane mode. Don't even put it on vibrate. If you don't, kill yourself. Leave the country. Migrate.

yEAH

#IM SO FUCKING DEAD HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA #I CANT BREATHE #CHRIS JACKSON'S REACTION TO FUCK YOU LMAOOOO

i didn't even have to click on that link to see what that is, i recognized it immediately just by the lyrics... 🤣

jesus, lin-man and c-jack are probably my favourite duo ever! i believe i said it before, but i'm gonna say it again: usnavi and benny? iconic. hamilton and washington? iconic. piragua guy and mr softee? FUCKING ICONIC BRO.

their reactions are always the best. the way chris laughs at lin's jokes, but also the way lin looks at chris everytime he sings? damn! friendship goals if you ask me!

i didn't even know this one was on youtube. if you want to see more, just type "fls" on my blog, tumblr archive helped me find so many videos from this show months ago and i believe i reblogged and tagged all of them, so go ahead! some of them are truly incredible (well, all of them actually. i love all of them. they are like children to me).

not to mention lin's hairstyle 🥵

[thegeminisage]

tng update time. last night we did "the child" and today i did "where silence has lease"

the child: GOOD. FUCKINGGGGG. LORD

first of all, i watched this after having been awake since 4am and working all day and then getting hate mail on my fanfics. i was so sleep deprived it's unreal. i dissolved into hysterics multiple times

the first time i think was after deanna got impregnated. i did say with my real mouth "i hope it's riker" and then regret it because i didn't actually hope that but truly i think we would have been better off

the second time i can't really remember. i think it was after the kid talked the first time. immediately my primal instincts screamed at me that the child was unholy and unnatural. anyway both times we had to pause for several minutes in order for me to collect myself

why did we have to have a meeting in front of all deanna's peers talking about the changes in her body and whether or not she should get an abortion...like im with worf, abort that thang, but what the fucj

at first i was kind of excited that dr crusher would be leaving because she is an exhausting character to contend with. now i realize i was a fool. with no dr crusher and no tasha yar deanna troi has to take on the role of Every woman. i made a joke in which the punchline was the mother the son and the holy spitroast but i don't think it's as funny without the leadup

also, on the replacement dr: i hate her forever for being mean to data. first mispronouncing his name and then being like ehhh who cares when corrected AND THEN being like wow this bag of bolts can actually get his feelings hurt! i'll kill her

am pleased to say i recognized her from tos not because of her face but because of her voice. score one for the ol' voice acting ear

anyway i kept going i be BEVERLY (upgraded from dr crusher) could have saved deanna's satan baby because at least she can FUCKING PRONOUNCE DATA'S NAME RIGHT. i hope beverly left because picard wouldn't stop making eyes at his ex it would serve him right

wesley was fine in this episode for once.

HIIII GUINAN HIIIIIIII wow she looks so young. just like in sister act, the primary thing i know her from. weird to have her playing shrink to wesley this entire time but i'm sure we'll get more from her later

anyway having deanna speedrun motherhood in 36 hours Because She's A Woman made me for the first time consider skipping some episodes on tng. but i couldn't do my skip/watch list that way so i will SIGH persevere.

where silence has lease: im blogging this as i go. first of all since the first few seconds of this have no dialogue i was excited and thought we were about to get a whedon-eqsue no-dialogue episode but alas. no.

secondly. "im worried about riker AND worf there are certain elements of the klingon psyche its best to be ignorant about" like girl are they fucking?? not quite but almost. riker was sooo dirty. paused the episode to inform cathy of this and got this gem

anyway, the skeleton prosthetics were good but i ca already feel that this is going to be a "klingons are so big and scary and savage" kind of racism day

worf automatically gaslighting himself about the klingon legend is SO sad especially bc we as viewers KNOW its gotta be true. get vored idiots

why is wesley always on the bridge now instead of geordi...is he just always in engineering now? that is Too sad

THIS BITCH JUST CALLED DATA "IT"?????????????? I WILL KILL HER MYSELF

like i cannot believe she is doubting DATAS ABILITY TO DO HIS JOB more than the fucking SIXTEEN YEAR OLD sitting next to him just bc wesley is human and data isnt. ill fucking kill her. i never thought id say this but i miss beverly

jonathan frakes has asked lots of questions this episode

this freaky ass unreality void thing that doesn't actually exist is sooooo fucking cool. stuff like this is what i like about scifi...sometimes the scifi premise is stupid but sometimes it fucks

WHATEVER RIKER AND WORF HAVE GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE. IS GAY. riker telling him to pull himself together and worf repeating his words from earlier...prolonged eye contact...i wish tng was like this all the time

actually riker is kinda fun in this episode...he keeps giving orders without waiting for picard's okay and he is soooo upset when he gets back from that freaky ship

WHOA THAT CGI FACE WAS FREAKY AND BAD

LMAOOO AT THIS ALIEN GOING AFTER THE DR FOR BEING FEMALE. WHEN DEANNA IS RIGHT THERE. like "your contruction is different" not to the half betazoid or the klingon but to the WOMAN. well if anyone deserves it

wow. love that they got ordered to fuck nasty on the bridge <3 riker and worf should volunteer

SIGHHH of course they kill the random black guy redshirt

started to have respect for picard when once again he was willing to blow up the ship rather than submit to enemy will but then he ruined it by going eeeh idk riker how much time do YOU think we need before the self-destruct? like how much time do they need to prepare to die?? and then riker was like uhh idk 20 minutes? like if you're gonna do it just do it. jesus christ. don't even tell them first it's so much kinder. there are FUCKING children aboard

AND HES JUST GONNA SIT IN HIS QUARTERS AND LISTEN TO MUSIC? INSTEAD OF COMFORTING PEOPLE OR DOING HIS JOB? it's always one step forward two back with this show

THOSE FREAKY HALLUCINATIONS TRICKED ME...it's just like data to ask about death. but it wasn't him!!

the ending to this was actually a little anticlimactic but i did enjoy the journey. too bad it wasn't a big klingon ship eating monster though

one down, five to go 😤

[blubushie]

hi ive recently happened upon your blog and if its not too weird of a question,,, how do u go and live in the bush? i dislike living near or in the city and ive always wanted to just go live in the wilds and live just in the wilds but i have no idea how to actually achive that dream. ive always assumed u couldnt just, go live in nature but im glad im wrong

if u have any resources to figure it out and u dont mind letting me know i would greatly appreciate it thank uu

I never went straight into it. I was raised on a rural farm when I was in America so I grew up hunting and learned how to do things like dress a kill and store fresh meat at a young age. As I got older I spent more and more time camping and when I went back to AUS after high school I became a licensed hunter and the rest is history. What I do is a culmination of all my lived experiences and there's been times I've stared death in the face, even with that experience.

The best I can recommend for someone with zero experience at all is survivalist classes.

You also can't really just go live out in the wild. It requires a lot of preparation. If you go into it headfirst it's nearly a guarantee you'll die (look up the story of Chris McCandless). You need to have a certain level of experience that you only get from prolonged time out in the bush. This means you should start with short, brief camping trips (NOT ALONE) and gradually increase how much time you spend out there. Bushwalks (hikes) become weekend trips, weekend trips become weeklong, weeklong becomes two weeks, etc.

Also it heavily depends on where you're planning to do this. It may or may not be illegal depending on your country. For example I have a hunting license with every state in AUS simply because it can be days of driving between states and if I run out of food and am unable to go to the shops, I don't want to get arrested for hunting to feed myself. In the US I have a hunting license for California, Nevada, Arizona, and New Mexico. Hunting licences don't carry over between states in either the US or AUS and so whether or not you starve highly depends on what you have available to you. You definitely need to familiarise yourself with hunting and taking a life before you go into the bush. You don't want to have to figure things out when your mind is cloudy because everything's gone wrong and you've found yourself out of food with no way to contact help. You need to be confident in your ability before you go out there and nothing will test your mettle like the bush.

Meat is a necessity. A part of your diet should consist of wild fruits and veggies but those won't sustain you long in a survival situation. You need raw protein. Meat should make up the core of what you survive on and everything else should be tacked on top of that. Meat is your lifeline, and you won't get it without killing.

You need to know how to properly disinfect water you drink. You need to know how to clean your clothes, how to recognize the signs of illness, how to perform first aid. How to make a fire, gather water, make snares, change a tyre, etc. Survivalist classes will teach you that. Most people change their mind about it when they realize just how difficult it is. You shouldn't go out to the bush because you dislike people—at that point just move to a rural town if you can. You have to crave the fight for survival or I guarantee you the bush will bury you.

It's definitely not for everyone, but it's a great life if you can survive. There's no thriving out here, either—it's just survival.

Also, the internet sucks and in most places there's zero reception. Bring a satellite phone in case you need help because you will be rooted otherwise.

[genericmain]

Hey, hi! Im really sorry for sending this, i just hope im not overstepping any boundaries as I'm about to ask help which is very important right now: our cat, Sleepy needs an urgent vet care. She is pain and I can't afford to pay the vet to help her so l'm reaching out to ask for help, I mean even if you can't help monetarily, reblogging or sharing it would truly mean a lot. She is my daughter's best friend and she's all I have left of my mom who passed away last 2021. In case you'd be insterested to help, I have pinned the post on my blog, please try to also answer the ask privately as some people tend to get weird on this stuff. Please send us prayers, be safe.

Hey there! I'm going to preface with I don't normally answer asks like this, and for the person who has been making multiple blogs to repeatedly ask, Please stop. To anyone else who sees this and gets this idea, I may or may not choose to answer your ask at MY discretion. Blogs are a curated experience, and it's important to me (despite it being a mess) to not deviate too much from what I want it to be. /lh

Onto *your* ask specifically. I'm so sorry you're going through this, I'm broke, as in don't even have money for groceries broke, HOWEVER answering an ask is free. Sharing it like this is free. I can't promise you'll get any circulation from my blog, but this is a bit personal for me, because I know what that's like. I have a little plush elephant that I keep in a special container because my bio brother gave it to me, and we haven't spoken in almost 5 years. I love him to death, and I've tried really hard to reconnect, but I think my opportunity passed and I regret that so much. We drifted apart from bad parents.. but still. I recognize this is different, because you're caring for a real, live animal, but it's the same concept of keeping a family member close. Part of why I chose to answer this was my connection. The other part is you are clearly an actual person. Not a bot. I don't think I'll recieve multiple asks like this on multiple blogs, and while I could be wrong, I'll take that risk to help you save a family member. If you read this, please reblog this with how much you're trying to raise for the vet bill, even if it's an estimate & a date at which it would need to be raised by - I'm asking this for two reasons. The first, is so people know how much you're working towards, and the second is so that I personally know if I will be able to donate once I get paid again. I make no promises, but I'm going to ask jic. Money is always tight, but there is a slim chance I can spare a little bit. I know every dollar counts in these situations.

Lastly, I hope you've found some success in this. I hope people are helping. And I would like to see the baby (cat) if you're so inclined. I love cats sm.

[sweetheartsaku]

SAKUUU CONGRATS ON 200 MY LOVE!! I say this to everybody, but I mean it more than any other time I've said it, you deserve every single one of those 200 and many, many more!! AAAAAH I'M SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!

you're such a genuine writer, and I could tell that the things you write are just so you, yk? 🙇🏻‍♀️ that's what makes you special over anyone and everything else!! from your short smau's to the tooth rotting sweetness of the headcanons you write, I've expressed my love for all of them because they're just so good?!?!?? AND because I could tell you're the one that wrote them and I mean that in the best way possible!! I feel like seeing the author through the pieces they write is such a genuine part of being a writer bc there's just something so real about it and idk how to explain it 😞😞 BUT WITH YOU AAAAAAH YOU'RE JUST THAT GREAT????

ANYWAY every time I see you interact with a follower or a moot by responding to their asks, just backs up my claim of you deserving the 200 and so much more ☝🏻 you're always so kind and sweet how could people NOT like you???? that's like impossible you guys c'mon now

you really are one of the best souls I've ever met on this planet and I could only hope that in my next life, or in another universe, if there is one, we know each other irl and we could spend every waking moment together</3 speaking of other lives, i really don't know what I could've done in my past life to deserve being friends with someone like you ☹️☹️ honestly I'd do anything and everything in the world just to return the kindness you've always treated me with ☹️

didn't mean to get too sappy there, woah LMAOZHAHAH BUT ANYWAY, I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU AND YOUR BLOG GROW EVEN MORE!!!! I'll be with you through every milestone, darling!! know that i love you soooo much, MWAH!!<33

FRANNNSSS FRANS FRANS FRANNSNSSNSN :((((((( UWEHHHHHHHHHHHH thankyu soososososoos much soulmate </3 you too 😭 deserve anything good thing ever imaginable😭YOI ARE SO SWEET I CNAT DO THSI

ackkk thank you frans!!!!!!!!! i do try to make my fics as genuine ands authentic as possible so seeing someone recognize that makes me feel all lovely inside D: !!!! AAAA mayb i should start writing more lil smaus habent done one of those in a while 🤔nd one of my first fics u found was my shu one... maybeHAHAHA!! AHHH why is the extremely popular crazy talented writer FRANS TALKING ERMMMMM how else do u rthink i found u 😓(UR AMAZING WRITING AND MOODBOARD DUHH) i will continue to do my best!!! and write!!!!!!! in the most REAL way ever done!!!!

ACKKKK YOURE TOO NICE MY SKIBIDI FRANS </3 im js being that version of me ykyk where i can be cringe and free and all of the above and im super hapi so many ppl like that side of me bc i feel so 😓 accepted!!😣.i lOVE U ALL SO MUCH GANG GANG

WHY TEH FREAK ARE. U TALKING RN FRANS. ur actually beyond the word best bc words cant describe how epic and cool and sweet u are😤i too, hope in every life, universe and everything in between that were out somewhere having the time of our lives!!!!!! YOU DONT NEED TO DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE PPL☹️ ESP ME.☹️ we are just girls in a world yk 😔✊we were js meant to be friends for real!!!NOW. I WOULD DO NYTHING TO BE ABLE TO SEND ALL UR LOVE BACK BC U DESERVE IT SO MUCH U SWEETHEART!!!!

its okkkk pookie to get sappy in here yk safe space 🥰💗I TOO AM EXCITED TO SEE WHERE LIFE AND THE TUMBLR ALGORITHM TAKE UOMG!!! WE'LL BE NEXT TO EACHOTHER THE ENTIRE TIME WOOOO!!!!!! thanku love, expect the same !!!!<33 I LOVE U SOOO MUCH

[weebsinstash]

Wishing you the best. You’re one of my favorite blogs and I think you’re amazingly talented and creative and your writing, the way you bring characters to life is always a delight to read.

I hope you hang in there, even when times are hard (and I’m sorry they are), cause it’s gonna get better. And yeah, it’s cliché, but I wish you all the love and happiness and that you’ll find IRL people who will cherish you like you deserve. I hope you have lovely dreams.

I'm starting to wonder if the answer to the problem that I've been looking for all this time is maybe trying to move in somewhere with my sister. But I don't know if that would help either because my sister also has some troubles and we haven't always gotten along but, if im miserable living with my mom, and my sister is far away and misses us and she's been through domestic violence and assaults and she doesn't always have a stable environment, im wondering if we should try and find something for us both to move into. Idk.

Im just very lost on how I could move further or fix things. I feel very powerless and small. I think im actually making a really good wage right now though so, maybe I should just, start putting most of my money into savings or something, in case of an emergency or something. I guess something i try to always remind myself is sometimes fixing a problem is a process, not an event, which is just CBT speak for "dont beat yourself up for not seeing immediate results"

But on the writing stuff, thank you 🥺❤ I've been feeling hella talentless and I guess I've kind of noticed a shift in the things I want to write. Like don't get me wrong I still have smut ideas but I also have been getting lots of ideas about, idk. fics meant to fulfill you more emotionally rather than like encouraging you to rub one out? Sometimes writing smut feels like... potato chips. It can be so easy and generic you know? Id much rather write stories where you and whomever build some sort of rapport or there's reasons and feelings established rather than "you bumped into this random stranger and he wants to fuck"

Like I was actually just thinking of a jujutsu kaisen idea I had posted in the past where Reader is a young adult sorcerer and Nanami, as someone else with the same sort of "risking death fighting demons is better than working in an office" mentality, recognizes that you're kind of actively suicidal and even though harnessing your anger and will to die into a Black Flash or two is certainly useful on the battlefield, he's concerned about your mental health. But then he gets you kicked out of the idk sorcerer guild or whatever and that makes it EVEN WORSE because now you "don't have a purpose" and "youre living for nothing" and he basically has to kidnap/save you from totally offing yourself and there's this overarching theme in finding kinship through hopelessness or something idk

And then on the other hand I had an idea for what would essentially be plug n play smut with Adam Smasher where he basically forces you into a braindance where he really smashes your shit if you know what I mean 😳 so the pendulum swings lmao! But I still find writing really fun and enjoyable even if im. Having motivation issues actually getting stuff down 👉👈 so thanks for the support and it means a lot to hear im one of your favorites when there are so many blogs out there 🥰

[olderthannetfic]

Re: shounen ai and it's improper usage. I learned yesterday from your blog the history of the term and it's definition! I learn so much from here about media, and it's great. I've been reading BL/yaoi/shounen ai for around fifteen years (only in English-speaking circles), and I've always seen shounen ai used to suggest "non-explicit BL" or some other variety and never the definition or history you've explained. Even most manga-hosting sites have shounen-ai as an established genre and the content to be found in that genre is basically "soft-BL" regardless of it's decade of origin or style of story. Do Japanese-speaking circles use the term/genre shounen ai today the way you've laid out in your previous posts about it, differently, or at all? Do they recognize the way it's used in English-speaking circles? Revile it? Is this a case of a runaway term being severed from its context and misused by English-speakers? And if the term has been misused for over 15 years (bc it was well established already when I first started consuming BL) at what point does a separate/second definition become legitimized/acceptable? This seems particularly sticky when it's a word from another language and culture. In case it isn't clear over text, I'm asking in good faith and am fascinated by the evolution of definitions between languages! (One of my favorite examples of this is the Korean good luck/do your best English exclamation "Fighting!")

--

Heh. Yeah. It's been (mis)used that way for a long time in English. It's baked into old fanfic archives like MediaMiner too. 'Shoujo ai' too! (Which would actually mean something more like "the love of adult men for pubescent girls". But this one is more of a coining by English speakers by analogy.)

I don't think Japanese fans have any need to care about how English speakers misuse their terms unless they speak enough English to participate in fandom in English (and unlike with a lot of languages, there's a vibrant home-grown geek community and no real need to go to other languages).

Today, people sometimes use 'shounen ai' to talk about those 70s series. It's more likely to turn up in a history lecture by a professor of manga than to pop out of most fans' mouths, IME. (Though my Japanese is garbage, so it's not like I'm watching how people are talking out loud. I just see textual stuff online mostly, like people going "What does term X" mean in that yahoo answers way.)

BL is "BL". Period. There is not some standard term for the "soft" end of it.

"at what point does a separate/second definition become legitimized/acceptable"

If this were an honest mistake or not super confusing, maybe rather quickly. Japanese is littered with wacky, "misused" loan words from English.

But even English-speaking fandom had people trying to stem the tide of incorrect usage all the way back to the 90s, and the usage tends to not just mean "I personally found this soft" but "This is objectively soft and there's a meaningful distinction between these two things" when BL is not actually divided into tiers like that.

It's the same as people classifying "shounen" and "shoujo" based on romance and fighting content when these have objective measures of what magazine a series ran in.

I would also be more inclined to accept this dumb usage if it weren't (in the 2020s, but not in the 1990s) constantly coming from kink-haters shaming and attacking their fellow fans.

[soft-sapphic-love]

hey... this may sound like an odd question but... is it ok to want to be feminine? cos like... behaviorally im more femme than not, and im most comfortable in like masc ish clothing, but some days i just wanna be pretty and feminine to the max, like heels and dresses and nails and jewellery and all that jazz... but...

well ig im asking becauee i asked on another different blog and they literally said i was contributing to the continuation of the patriarchy and male supremacy and the oppression of women, that i was acting in subserviance to men by choosing to dress in a feminine way, and that i was harming other women by presenting myself as what men desire and dressing in a way that make men see women as lesser or as objects. they kept asking why i would ever do such a thing to myself and that i should free myself from patriarchal ideas by dressing for comfort and not for men or their sexual gaze...

ik its alot and it shocked me and hurt me... like very badly. id never mentioned that it was because of men in my ask but thwy just assumed. after, i started feeling awful about myyself and what i wanted to do with myself. i panicked and unfollowed the blog, I don't remember what it was called, but the hurt and ig trauma from what they said to me is still in the back of my mind.

so i just need to know... am i... wrong for wanting to be feminine? i thought it was ok but... idk anymore. idk if this is the right blog to ask about this but... do you have any advice? im sorry if this isnt the right kind of ask or if its too much.

okay anon: know that right now, i am giving you a giant hug, because the person who said that to you is the shittiest person in the world.

femininity is beautiful. it is wonderful, complex, personal, and it is absolutely not "contributing to the patriarchy" to recognize that. you know what is contributing to the patriarchy? saying that something associated with women is shameful, like they were doing when they said that to you.

defining the validity of femininity based on what men think is more harmful than enjoying femininity. what sexist men think is irrelevant. what you want is what matters: does femininity make you happy and make you secure in yourself? if the answer is a genuine yes, then you have your answer: that's what matters.

right now i'm telling you: femininity is wonderful. you are wonderful. it is awesome that it makes you happy and you don't need to prove to anyone that you're not feminine for the "wrong reasons". you don't owe anything to the patriarchy, and enjoying yourself can't possibly contribute to something that thrives off fear and hatred.

i went through a whole phase of hating being a girl, and with that i also hated things associated with femininity. i thought i was better than other girls because i wasn't into pink things or "girly" things. the best thing that happened to me was growing out of that. caving into what you think sexist men want will always be more harmful than genuinely enjoying the things sexist men typically want. you're enjoying it for your sake, not for them. they don't want you to enjoy yourself. misogyny inherently values femininity as something that is dirty and unwanted and only something men can enjoy in a degrading way. by taking that and enjoying it yourself, you're actually rejecting that whole patriarchal view on femininity and i think that's pretty fucking cool and badass if you ask me!

im so sorry that person said that to you and i hope you continue to love and embrace your femininity!

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[avpdvoidspace]

hi! so my boyfriend has avpd and i get the gist of it, but i was wondering if you had any tips thing for being in a relationship with someone with avpd or things you think i should know? like i know he needs a lot of alone time, but are there things i should do to reassure him im not upset/ make him more comfortable? thanks

Hey, sorry it took so long to get to this. I actually got my boyfriend's input as he would know better than me what it's like being the partner of someone with avpd. Here's his answer: "Hi there! This is avpdvoidspace's boyfriend here. Using your words to reassure him that you're not upset or however you're feeling in the moment is the safest and best approach. Your bf can't always readily tell you when he's worried about that kind of thing, especially if he's afraid of being rejected--lest his expression makes it worse and causes his partner to leave. It almost never hurts to communicate with your partner and this still holds true here. One thing I would advise is to try to look for red flags in other people that your partner talks to or associates with, and learn to recognize if your partner fawns or appeases someone just to be amenable until they can get away. People who tend to require a lot of attention can be really draining for your AVPD boyrfriend, and although you can't just make your partner stop talking to someone they feel they can't get away from, you can open the conversation and ask if they want help finding ways out of social situations they don't want to be in. Also do nice things he likes without him asking for it. Be a nice partner in general. You're already helping a lot by reading blogs like this and educating yourself. If you have any more specific questions, don't be afraid to post again. I'll be around." What stands out a lot to me is how he's an ally to me in getting out of social situations I definitely don't want to be in. I think the instinct of a partner of someone with avpd might be to help your partner be more social, but that might not be what your partner wants or needs. They have limited social needs/abilities, but might feel obligated to perform in situations that are supposed to be social to avoid making you or other people they care about feel awkward. So I guess it's just important to communicate about what relationships they really want and which ones they feel obligated to maintain. I hope that's helpful! Thanks for the ask, and feel free to send more. Now that I've roped my boyfriend into this, he's here and willing to give input.