#i don’t want something different i want what you ruined for me
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saw this post in the tag earlier talking about how we never really get a detailed look inside Maligula’s mind, and it got me thinking about the themes of the game again so I’m gonna use it as a jumping-off point. because i agree, it’s very significant that we never get to really see Maligula/Lucrecia as she used to be! but i think that fact actually makes the game much stronger, especially on a thematic level.
Lucrecia’s presence haunts the narrative throughout Psychonauts 2. at first, we can only make her out through her absence. she’s the seventh stump around the campfire, the missing center of a torn photo. we see glimpses of her in the ruined fragments of Ford’s mind. in Helmut’s mind, she’s a looming specter, a shadow of the friend he once knew. in Gristol’s mind, she’s a celebrated war hero. and as the game goes on, we learn that everything in Psychonauts 1 – the Aquatos leaving Grulovia, the family ‘curse’, Raz running away to camp – all of that was set in motion because of her. she’s at the very center of the tragedy that PN2 revolves around.
and she does haunt the narrative, even if Nona is still alive. because the old Lucrecia – the real Lucrecia – we never get to meet her. she’s long gone.
the closest we come to actually interacting with Lucrecia, as she used to be, is in Cassie’s mind. while the rest of the Psychic 7 only have a few lines to share, paper Lucrecia has a full dialogue tree. this is probably one of my favourite moments in the whole game. there’s an awe in Raz’s face, getting to meet her, but also this palpable tension throughout the conversation.
(screenshots taken from here! if you don’t remember this conversation, or just want a refresher, i’d highly recommend going back to watch it.)
this dialogue tree is great. it’s funny, and subtle, and surprisingly moving. Raz is full of questions for Lucrecia, and Lucrecia isn’t giving much away, but we get glimpses of her story here that are so tantalising. it’s a fascinating window into the person she used to be: coy, and playful, and a little aloof.
but – this is also very clearly not Lucy. we hear Cassie’s own thoughts coming out of her mouth (“Cassie told us [hydraulic mining] was very bad for the environment, but nobody listened to her, as usual”), but her dialogue is also steeped in Cassie’s confusion, her struggle to understand what happened (“I don’t really know [why I murdered all those people]. I was the nicest person during my time at Green Needle Gulch”). this is the closest we ever get to seeing Lucrecia, face-to-face, but she’s still heavily filtered through someone else’s perception.
how much of this is the real Lucrecia, and how much of it is just how Cassie sees her? we��ll never know.
i think a crucial part of PN2’s themes is that perception – how you can be someone completely different to different people around you. everyone has their own version of the story to tell. the most obviously propagandistic is Gristol’s retelling, which comes as a shock twist at a climactic moment that throws the whole game on its head. here, we get to see the other side of the story, from someone who only ever knew Lucrecia as a protector, a general, a murderer – and thought she should stay that way.
(screenshots from here)
but as entrenched as he is in his narrative, Gristol doesn’t have all the answers, either. and Ford’s version of events, while probably more factually correct, is still steeped in his own biases. Ford was so dedicated to the memory of the woman he loved that he did terrible things for her; and when he tried to bury that memory, it was so deeply entrenched in his mind that it broke him.
(screenshot from here)
but note the wording, when he talks about using the Astralathe to “neutralise” the “problematic” parts of her mind. My Lucy.
something else that PN2 touches on is how experiences change you. after the battle against Maligula, the remaining members of the Psychic 7 become very different individuals. Cassie withdraws from the world, unable to return to normality after everything that happened; Compton becomes an anxious wreck without his support network. Bob is broken with grief after the loss of his husband, and Ford willingly shattered his mind because it was what he thought he had to do to keep Lucrecia safe. and throughout the game, Raz helps all of them – but he doesn’t fix them. he doesn’t undo everything they went through, because how could he? the things that happened will stay with each of them forever.
and it’s the same with Lucrecia. even after she lets go of the rage and grief and violence that Maligula carried with her, symbolically severing the threads that bind her to her past – she doesn’t just go back to her old self. because she’s someone different now, too. she’s a mother, and a grandmother, and she loves her family so truly and so deeply. she’s patched together a new life for herself. and that’s what she affirms to Raz, in the moments before the final fight.
and he loves her right back. even after everything he’s learned, she’s still his Nona.
i think sometimes a story is more satisfying for not giving you the easy answers. Psychonauts 2 leaves a lot of things unsaid. it gives you pieces of the puzzle, glimpses of Lucrecia’s story through other people’s eyes, and asks you to draw your own conclusions from that. and then it says: this is who she is now. this is what matters. and personally, i think it’s stronger for that.
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#side note it's always very funny writing about the psychic 7#'cassie was traumatised ford was traumatised bob was traumatised. otto - well actually he seems basically fine'#anyway. here's the latest instalment of my semi-regular pn2 analysis posts#because i continue to have thoughts about this game
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complicated — hamzahthefantastic
3. brown eyes at the entrance
contains: goofy drunk hamzah, quick mention of sex but no actual nsfw content in this one
summary: what do you do when your ex shows up at your front doorstep?
a/n: short but i just wanted to post hi
last part: with you all night
you left hamzah’s apartment that morning feeling more confused than ever. you two ate breakfast together and then you were out the door. he hadn’t even asked to hangout again or talked about breaking the whole “no contact” thing. he simply said he enjoyed the night with you and told you to have a good day.
how could he spend such an intimate night with you and not ask to see you again?
as hard as it was, you tried to be nonchalant about the situation. you could hook up with your ex in a casual way, right?
you call mandy, practically begging her to meet you for coffee.
now you were at your local cafe, anxiously walking up to the table you spotted mandy at.
“y/n! hey!” she said excitedly. you can almost see her eyes analyzing your facial expressions as you walk up to her. “so what’s up? you look like you’ve got something to tell me.”
“oh, it’s definitely..something.” you laugh nervously, “i uh, ended up talking to hamzah last night…”
“oh that’s great!” she interrupts, “did you get any sort of closure?”
“yeah, about that…i actually ended up going back to his place..”
she sighs at your confession.
“and we had sex but listen! i know that it was probably a bad idea but being around him again- it like made my brain go all fuzzy and all common sense went out the window.” you ramble, trying to defend yourself.
“y/n, i told you to go out on the balcony to get closure, not to hookup with him!”, she shakes her head at you. “but i get it. you guys have history, you’re comfortable with him. it’s easy to go back in that situation.”
“exactly! it was so comfortable! it felt like how things used to be. so now, i’m all confused because i thought i had finally gotten over him. and there’s matthew…”
“the guy you said was boring?” she questions.
“he is a bit boring but he’s nice- stable.”
“but what are you gonna do now? keep seeing him?”
“ugh, i don’t know. i guess i should end things with him- because clearly i have not moved on from hamzah yet.”
she nods slowly, deep in thought. “you think you’ll get back with hamzah again?”
“i don’t know,” you let out a harsh breath. “sometimes i think that maybe if we tried again, things would be different. like we’d be able to figure it out this time.”
she smiles softly.
“but today, he didn’t ask to meet again or ask how he could contact me or anything so i don’t even know if he wants to try again.” you shrug your shoulders.
“honestly, y/n, you might want to figure that out before cutting things off with matthew.”
she was right. you didn’t want to ruin a good thing simply for the possibility of getting back with your ex.
after another thirty minutes of catching up over coffee, she reminds you to keep her updated before the two of you part ways.
as you start driving home, your phone rings.
*incoming call: matthew*
“hey babe, you never texted me when you got home?” he questioned, his voice concerned.
you let out a soft sigh, “yeah, sorry- i went to sleep right when i got home.”
“you feeling better today?”
“yeah, yeah i think i just had a migraine or something.”
“good! i was actually wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight?” his voice is hopeful.
he was kind and cute and he knew what he wanted. how could you say no?
“sure! were you gonna pick me up on the way or should i meet you somewhere?” you ask, a soft smile creeping on your face.
“i’ll pick you up at six. oh- and wear something fancy! i wanna take you to a nice place.”
you agree and say your goodbyes. you were excited to get dressed up and be taken out. you hoped that this dinner would change things- show you how interesting and exciting matthew really is, helping you move on from the chaos of hamzah.
…
the restaurant matthew had chosen was beautiful. the warm candlelight and low jazz music playing in the background creating such a romantic atmosphere.
he sat across from you, retelling a story about a hike he had went on.
you could tell he was making an effort. telling you this story with you in an attempt to share something meaningful with you. feel closer to you.
but as he kept talking, your mind kept slipping into memories with hamzah. you thought of how beautiful his face looked when illuminated by candlelight. the way his smile had always been on the edge of a smirk.
hamzah knew exactly how to pull you into each of his stories. he entertained you effortlessly. just one of his jokes could leave you clutching your stomach in laughter.
“and then i was there, completely lost.” he chuckles slightly as he ends his story.
“oh my god, that must’ve been so scary.” you reply, doing your best to give him energy.
he smiled softly as he looked into your eyes. “that’s what i’ve always loved about hiking though- you never know what adventure’s around the corner.”
“yeah.” you respond, smiling sweetly while all you can think about is how hamzah would’ve made fun of that corny line.
“you okay? you seem distracted.” matthew said, watching you as he took a bite of his steak.
“oh! yeah i’m fine, i just had a long day.” you explain, telling yet another lie.
“i get it.” he smiles, “no worries.”
god, did he have to be so kind and patient? it’d make you feel much less guilty if he was a complete asshole.
no, he was everything you should want. he was sweet, understanding, and so open with you.
but there was no allure. no mystery. no edge. all of the surface-level conversation you two were having was driving you absolutely insane.
“well, i actually had something to ask you.” he broke the silence.
you look up at him, nervously waiting for him to continue.
“i’m going on a trip to seattle next week. it’s completely covered by my job and i have a plus one. i know it’s a bit last minute but i wanted to know if you’d like to join me?”
traveling together would change this “casual dating thing”, into something more serious. something you were definitely not ready for. not yet.
you clear your throat to speak, “can i uh- think about it? it sounds super fun, i just have a lot of school work and stuff…”
he nods. “yeah, just let me know whenever you decide.”
“thank you.” you smile.
after finishing dinner, he drives you back home. he thanks you for the night, explaining what a great time he had with you.
he walks you to the front of your apartment complex and presses a gentle peck to your lips before telling you goodnight.
as you ride the elevator up to your apartment, you decide that you have to end things with matthew. you couldn’t go on that trip with him and lead him on any more than you already have. it was unfair of you to be constantly comparing him to hamzah. the truth was that there nothing wrong with him at all- you were the only person to blame in this situation.
you look up as you start walking toward your apartment to see hamzah leaned up against the wall next to your front door. his head tilted back, eyes closed- simply waiting.
“hamzah? what are you doing here?” you say, your voice coated in shock.
his eyes are low. a goofy smile plastered on his face. he was either drunk or high, or both.
“you look pretty.” you can practically hear his smirk.
you stand directly in front of him. “are you drunk?” you ask as you cross your arms in front of your chest.
“a little bit”, he laughs. “and maybe a little bit high but listen- i just wanted to see you.”
“oh and this couldn’t wait until you were, i don’t know, less…drunk?”
he shrugged, “but you were out with ‘new guy’, what’s his name?”
“matthew.” you roll your eyes at him. “how’d you know i was out with him anyway?”
“mandy might’ve mentioned that you texted her about it.” he grins, “i think watching paint dry might be more exciting than going on a date with that guy. i couldn’t let you go home and just be with that kind of…energy.”
you bit your lip, trying not to laugh. “hamzah, you can’t just show up at my door every time you think i should be around better “energy.”
“oh i can”, he shoots back at you. “it’s actually one of my best skills- showing up uninvited and reminding you of how fun i am.”
“you’re unbelievable.” you laugh, already feeling defeated by his charm.
“and yet”, he pauses. “here you are, laughing. i’ve still got it.” a cocky grin creeps on his face. you can’t help but laugh.
“you’re so full of yourself.” you shake you head, smiling.
“i just feel confident around you, that’s all.”
“oh really?” you tilt your head to the side.
“c’mon, y/n. tell me the truth- was he as funny as me?”
“no.” you admit, rolling your eyes.
“as charming?” he pushes.
“also, no.” you answer.
“then what are we doing here?” he lifts his hands up dramatically. “why are you spending your night with boring ol’ matthew when you could’ve had all this?” he gestures to himself, that goofy smile of his still lingering on his face.
“hamzah. you are being ridiculous.” you reiterate.
“did you mean ridiculous-ly hot and sexy or?” he can’t help but laugh at his own joke.
you shake your head and roll your eyes once again, still unable to contain the smile that seemed stuck on your face.
“you are impossible to argue with.” you tell him.
“is that a yes to me coming in?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes. “please? i’ll just sleep on the couch or even, the floor. whatever you want me to do.”
“you came here to sleep on my couch?”
“i just want to be around you.” he whined.
how could you say no to those brown puppy-dog eyes of his? and you couldn’t send him home drunk- that wasn’t safe. you just had to let him in.
“fine. get inside before i change my mind.” you tease as you unlock your front door.
the second you two get inside, he walks over to the couch, flopping onto it and stretching out with a smug look on his face. “see? look how harmless i am?”
“mhm, very harmless.” you say as you grab a blanket.
you start tucking him in with the fluffy blanket until he grabs your hand, looking into your eyes. “thank you for letting me in.”
“yeah, well you’re just lucky i’m too tired to kick you out.” you joke.
“yeah, lucky.” he repeats, his voice soft as his thumb rubs your hand softly.
just from the way his gentle touch and low voice had such an effect on you, you knew you were in trouble all over again.
a/n: next part soon. promise. also i did not proofread bc it’s 2 am and im tiredddd also writing this kinda reminded me of the song memories by conan gray so that is where the title for this part is from yay here’s the song if u wanna listen
#hamzahthefantastic#slushy noobz#hamzah imagines#hamzah x y/n#hamzah x reader#hamzah#hamzah fic#hamzah fluff
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Banal Nadas
I wrote this literally years ago, but it actually became canon, so beware spoilers for Veilguard. (I feel powerful, lmao.)
Ilaana Lavellan meets a spirit in the Fade in a moment of anguish--a spirit with a lesson to help her save her beloved.
***
“It was not supposed to happen this way,” the spirit breathes, and it sounds so like him that I am rooted to this patch of the Fade.
“His words,” I say softly, looking around as if I will see his eyes upon me, as I so often have.
“Yes,” the spirit says. “You are here now, and it has happened this way.”
“This is also correct.”
I am in a vast forest, the Brecilian Forest, I think, though I have never seen it in life.
“To find interesting parts of the Fade, one must be interesting.”
“Also his words.” I look at the spirit curiously. It hovers between two enormous ironbarks, titans in their presence, the two trees so close they should never have grown to such size.
The metaphor sinks in a moment too late. I wince.
“Ar lath, ma vhenan.”
Curiosity will quickly become annoyance. I move onward, trying to hold tight to my purpose tonight. I’m running out of time. I’m running out of time.
“Var lath vir suledin!” The spirit is anguished, as I was anguished when I said the words.
I stop. “My words. Why?”
“In another world.” Something of this spirit clearly relates to me and Solas so strongly it seems to want to regurgitate much of our most painful conversations.
“I’ll bite,” I tell it. “Why not this one?”
“You are asking better questions,” the spirit says.
It turns away, in a different direction than I planned to go, but I have made friends with Acceptance, Compassion, Wisdom, Hope. I have even soothed Despair into Resolve. Apathy into Purpose. I am a Dreamer, now, in full. If I am not so skilled as Solas, well. Empires and nations rose and fell while he learnt what I have tried to cobble together in a handful of years with a ticking clock ready to explode the world. Demons come to me to find themselves. Sometimes they try to kill me. Usually I reach for them, and they change. Sometimes they change me, bit by bit.
If this spirit wants me to follow, I will follow.
It moves down a path between trees, and it gains form as I watch, but it holds nothing for long. It looks like him for a moment, then it looks like me. I see him as I saw him in Redcliffe, in Haven, in the ruins, over the broken fragments of his orb. I see myself with my vallaslin, without it. I see myself and Cullen, eyes full of love, under an arch at Halamshiral with Mother Giselle there to marry us. I am wearing a white dress, such a human dress, such a human thing, but with my long-gone vallaslin clear on my face. I am dressed as a sentinel, a Sha-Brytol, a Keeper, a scout. I am resplendent in robes of gold and silver, my hair sparkling with diamonds like stars. He stands proud, Fen’Harel, a rebel god who loves me. My freckles are gone. My freckles are darker, my skin tanned and weathered by the sun. Scars cut through my face. I am missing part of an ear. Solas is scarred with red lyrium that clouds his eyes.
I want to ask, but not yet.
Instead, I simply follow.
The trees give way to the Arbor Wilds, miles and miles away. I know this place. This is where I met Mythal.
“You should not have given your orb to Corypheus, Dread Wolf.”
The spirit looks like her for a moment, and then she is him, as I last saw him before the Qunari plot. He must have traveled by eluvian from Skyhold immediately after we vanquished Corypheus.
He is a broken man, for a moment. He still wears the jawbone I now carry around my neck.
“I wish it could, vhenan.”
This spirit seems to want to speak with our words, so I will let it. With a thought I am crosslegged in the grass, my fingers feeling the blades. They are so green here, as green as they are in life. The Black City is beyond, over the tree line, waiting.
“Tell me you don’t love me!”
“I cannot do that, vhenan.”
I thought I was somewhat prepared, armoured. But that—
Solas stands in front of me in Crestwood, his hands twitching between looking as though he wants to simultaneously crush me to him and fend me off. He is frightened, flighty, two things Solas seldom is.
The spirit reflects that moment, showing me again the precise moment my heart broke, when Solas decided to be Fen’Harel and not tell me himself.
“You do not have to destroy this world! I will prove it to you!”
My voice, thrown by the spirit, echoes through this bower.
“I will treasure the chance to be wrong once again,” it says sadly.
“Foolish wolf,” I mutter myself.
“There is a place where you can build, grow.”
I am growing weary of whatever games this spirit is playing. I relive these words in my mind every day, every grain of sand that ticks through the hourglass counting down to the moment I will have to face…I have no words for what Solas is to me. Some days I trace the lines of magic that remain in my severed arm, feeling out for the Anchor. Those days I hear him ask if it has changed me, my…spirit, as he hesitated to say with the sun setting behind me on my Skyhold balcony.
What if it did? What if the Anchor is the only reason I love him?
“You are you, old blood older than old. Like calls to like even without a cord to bind them.”
The spirit has resumed its state of formlessness, floated closer while I sat in my pool of constant grief.
“Very well,” I tell it. “Why have you brought me here?”
“Banal nadas,” it says, hovering directly in front of my face like a challenge. It is not Solas’s voice I hear, but mine, gentle. I have never said those words, not like that.
“Banal nadas!” The spirit bellows it at me with my own voice again.
My skin tingles like I am in the waking world in a place where the Veil is thin. I have never felt such a thing whilst walking the Fade, not as such.
“I want to help him,” I tell the spirit fiercely. “Our people have suffered enough.”
“Who are your people, Ilaana?”
“That is the question, is it not?” This time it is I who bring Solas’s words to life, another sentence from a Crestwood heartbreak under the watchful gaze of Ghilan’nain. My lips quirk with a cynical smile. “Solas is my people. Cullen is my people. Cassandra and Cole are my people. My friends on this side of the Veil are my people. You, as well. Dorian, my beloved friend. Varric. The Iron Bull. Sera and Vivienne and Thom. Krem and Maryden, Dalish and Grim. Svarah Sun-Hair and Skywatcher. They are my people, spirit. All of them. Abelas is my people. Mythal is my people. Clan Lavellan is my people. Briala. Charter. Samson. Leliana and Neria and Merrill and Hawke. Alistair is my people. The Wardens I exiled are my people. The templars I condemned are my people. Ser Barris. Belle. Gaspard. Mihris. That bloody piece of self-loathing nugshit Michel is my people. Felix and Alexius. Gatt and the Viddisala. Elera and Dagna and Valta and her titan friend. Rage and Despair and Pride and Wisdom and Acceptance and Justice and Vengeance. They are all my people. All.”
I am angry now, angry enough that I feel the energies blazing off me like a pyre. If Solas is walking the Fade just now, he will certainly see me, feel me. We never have had to try hard to find one another here, and I am screaming in an echoing hall loud enough to wake Elgar’nan himself. That stupid prideful Evanuris who likely started all of this, he is my people too, for all he’d scrape me off the bottom of his gilded fucking boot.
“Do you hear me? Do you hear me, Dread Wolf? Dirth ma, harellan, vhen’an’ara—ane emma!” I yell the words into the Arbor Wilds, at the Black City, at any spirit who will listen. “You are all my people, and I am trying to save your foolish, thoughtless chunks of Fade-stuff and meat from yourselves!”
The spirit in front of me looks suddenly pleased.
“An answer a long time in coming, Inquisitor,” the spirit says, almost preening.
“Who are you?” I ask it bluntly. “I am tired of trying to help those who are determined to cut off their own feet because they don’t like the shape of their toenails.”
“Vivid, as always.”
“I asked you a question.”
“You asked a good question. I brought you here to hear, to listen, to scream. Has it helped?”
“A bit,” I admit. I feel lighter. Apparently my quiet footsteps through the Fade were possible because I’ve been bottling up every part of me for so long.
“Good,” says the spirit. “You asked my name, and I will give it. But first, you need to understand the most important thing I have said to you.”
“Which is?”
“Banal nadas,” the spirit says again.
“That one isn’t leaving my memory any time soon,” I say. “Your name, if you please.”
“You carry a heavy weight, as you have for so long, Ilaana. Your name, Ilaana. In the place of sacrifice. How much have you sacrificed?”
“Enough,” I say. My arm twinges. That is the least of it. I am no less than I was for a foot or so of missing flesh. The words I said to Ameridan. It takes everything from you.
“You look ahead with purpose, and you look ahead with grief, because the weight pressing upon your shoulders does not let you breathe.” The spirit looks like me, now. My face, without my vallaslin, with my freckles, the new scar on my nose from some Qunari Sten or another. My dimple. “You cannot see a way out.”
We are back in the forest, a different forest, and the trees are oppressive. They crowd around us, leaning over my shoulder, draping their leaves over my neck. I can almost feel their breath.
“You are telling me everything I already know.”
“You may remember the words, but you need to know, truly know. Eolasas, da’len.”
It changes to Solas’s face in Redcliffe, his eyes pulsing with red lyrium. Its voice repeats his words.
“You would think that such understanding would prevent me from making such terrible mistakes. You would be wrong.”
Anger flares again. I am surprised that this place has not been swarmed with spirits. The trees could very well be rage demons, every one.
“I couldn’t stop him,” I tell the spirit, and with those words, my anger cracks in half. In its core is only sorrow. “He left. He left again. He left again, and he called me vhenan.”
“Yes,” the spirit says. “He has done these things. Over and over, he has done these things. He is as trapped as you are. But the trap is of your own making. Time is no flat circle, da’len. You are thinking in too few dimensions.”
I sit in silence for a time, feeling at the edges of my hurt. I long for Cole’s comforting presence. He is somewhere in the Fade. I suspect he is with Solas. He told me he had to go where he was most needed. Or perhaps Cole is simply with the other spirits, sharing himself with them, preparing them. Where he is most needed. That would be a very Cole thing to do.
Everything that has happened has happened. I could not stop it.
“Banal nadas,” the spirit says again, insistently. “You make a tragic mistake, Inquisitor. Ilaana, da’len, da’lath’in. You must listen. You must see. What are all of these voices, save one?”
The one the spirit is speaking of must be my own, yelling its words. The rest are—
“Memories,” I say flatly. “Reminders of my own failures. I should have told him in Crestwood that I knew—”
“He would have fled. Likely, anyway. Banal nadas,” the spirit says, this time almost as if a joke. “Your instinct held your tongue because you knew him to be afraid. You yourself were afraid, thought you could keep him near a while longer, that it would give you time you had no way of knowing was running out.”
“Yes,” I say. “And then he was gone.”
The weight of the jawbone against my chest is usually a comfort, even in the Fade. Not now, not really.
“What is a memory?” The spirit asks me this as if it is speaking to a very dense rock instead of a person.
“A fragment of perception rooted in a moment in time that has passed,” I say.
“Time that has—” the spirit leads.
“Passed.” I stop, looking at it. It looks like me again, hopeful. It looks like I looked when he asked me to dance at Halamshiral, that horrible night, that wonderful night, that night that gutted me from the inside and built me anew all at once.
The night I learned my lover's true names.
“Before the band stops playing, vhenan, dance with me.”
His hand outstretched to me, his smile full of love. Moments before, the easy pressure of his hand against my shoulder, a comfort, knowing I needed his touch more than anything else.
“The past,” I say slowly. “Banal nadas.”
“Yes,” the spirit says, and the trees pull back from their crowding, letting through a burst of air, cool air, memory of a spring breeze. “You carry the weight of it, and you let it lead you, but you are letting it press you into the ground, da’len. You are like him. Like calls to like. His past weighs him as well, and it will crush you both, the past, if you let it.”
“You make it sound like…” I trail off.
I’m being obtuse, now. Of course I’m being obtuse.
It is easier to believe I cannot prevent whatever happens. It is easier believing, accepting, resigning myself to fatalism. Whatever will be will be. I remember what Acceptance said to me so long ago, that it could see many paths for itself without becoming any one of them. I have forgotten that wisdom. I have let myself become the one thing I cannot bear because some part of me thinks it is easier than believing I could build it better instead.
“I am frightened,” I say. “He said he walks the din’an shiral. He chose for me, and I am furious at him. He said he could not do this to me, but he will do it to himself. He says he will, and he condemns me to accept it. But what he accepts, I do not have to.”
“Yes, da’len, continue.”
“I am afraid.” Afraid does not even come close to what I feel. I am half a breath from shaking to pieces.
“I know, da’len.” The spirit looks like Keeper Deshanna now. It sits in front of me wearing June’s vallaslin.
“I have said I will save him, that I will prove to him, but I haven’t believed it. I haven’t been able to believe it.”
“Your love for him is so deep that it reached me in the farthest depths of the Fade,” the spirit says softly. “You are on the shore watching a hundred-foot wave threaten to crush you, and you believe if you run, if you fight, if you try and do something, it will wash you away no matter what. It is easier for you to believe that what is past will dictate what is future.”
“Yes,” I say. “You are correct.”
“But that is not how anything works, da’len. It may seem it sometimes, but do you know what it took for him to see you at all? How many ages he lay sleeping in sorrow, walking paths with friends but seeing nothing of himself wherever he looked?”
I shake my head.
The grove around us is quiet, peaceful now. It is the grove in the Dales, the one where we once moved together with our magic, our mana, our staves. It is the grove where he gave me his glyph-chilled water and I wiped a droplet of it away from my cheek and he told me that he had yet to see my indomitable focus dominated.
I wonder if it has been as fascinating as he expected, watching me crumble under our combined pasts.
“A thousand thousand variables, a weave of time and circumstance more delicate than the Veil itself,” the spirit says. “You are real, and it changes everything, but it can’t. Do you not hear the contradiction in his own words?”
“Yes,” I say.
“You are real, da’len. You are real, and you change everything.”
His words, and the spirit’s. They mould to something in me that I have not felt in months. I have felt this future bearing down on me like the wave in the spirit’s metaphor, ready to crush the life out of me, out of my people—our people—and the person I love enough to save. I have waited for him enough. Atisha, Ilaana.
I breathe slowly, my mind clearing. His words, to me. In hindsight they feel both inevitable and deeply cracked, waiting to be moved in another direction.
“Yes,” I say, this time because it is the only right word to say. “Thank you. Thank you, hahren.”
“Nuvu lasa su ma enaste, da’len.”
“Why have you done this for me?” I ask. It still has not told me its name.
“You are not the only one who loves him,” the spirit says simply. “I would not watch him suffer more. I would not watch the weight he carries grow. And he is not the only one who loves you, da’len. I would be remiss if I did not try.”
“You are saying—”
“I am saying banal nadas.”
Yes. Yes.
Banal nadas.
Nothing is inevitable.
“Thank you,” I say again. “Ma melava halani.”
“Sathem lasa halani,” the spirit says. “And now you must go. You have a great deal of work to do.”
“Wait,” I say as the spirit rises, once again formless, shifting every time I blink. “You promised me your name.”
I wait for a moment, wondering if it will be Hope. Faith. Even Love, something as simple as that.
The spirit looks like him once more, and it reaches out to touch my cheek the way he so often has. It tugs his favourite curl.
“Possibility,” the spirit says.
I wake.
***
Lavellan: Banal nadas. Ar lath, ma vhenan.
#solavellan#solavellan fic#veilguard spoilers#solas#solas x female lavellan#solas dragon age#solas x inquisitor#solavellan hell#dread wolf#fen'harel#dread wolf's redemption
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the canon event of your dad being on your side for like a day and then caving to your crazy mom like he always does bc he doesn’t actually have a backbone and doesn’t actually care if his wife drives their kid away 🎉🎉🎉
#vent#lmao thought today would be no tears but this did me in#i think i had a slither of hope he’d pull some string and do something and make this work out#but nope he caved like he always does 😂#‘you can do something different in the future’ this tour is not happening in the future#you actually expecting that to make me feel better is laughable like ?!?!#i don’t want something different i want what you ruined for me#fuck you for always caving to that woman fuck all of this
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You know what really sucks?? When you’re really excited for something and then someone goes and makes unnecessary comments about it which taints your fun.
I’m so excited for this coming update and then someone has to say something that just…leaves a bad taste in my mouth??
I get having favorites and all that, me too. I am not any different.
But why ruin it for others??
Why be a sourpuss about it??
Just because you don’t like certain things or how the update went?? Because it didn’t meet your expectations??
Literally this update means so much to me and others and you have to what??
Be a jerk about it??? Because you can?? And ruin the fun??
It’s so dumb.
And unfortunately for them, I’m not one to back down.
Commentary like that just makes me more determined and makes me want to hype it up even more.
#Hana rambles#sorry for the negativity on your timelines I just needed to vent after reading what I did#the fact this happened to me twice now with two different people#once was after part 6 update last year in jp and now before the update in en#it’s like part 6 personally hurt them or something becuase it didn’t meet their expectations and now they have to ruin it for others#I hate when people try to bring others down#there’s a difference between being critical and being downer#I get complaining and wanting things and all that#as a dia fan i *know*#but I also don’t put it in the tags 🤦♀️🤦♀️#what’s worse is I follow this person and I know I should block…maybe I will#for now I’m going to filter them#then decide later#I just feel bad about it that’s why argh#considering who their favorite character is#he would be so disappointed#ironically they both like the same character and he would not be happy let me tell you that#I already blocked one person and debating on the second#sighs i hate this 😭😔#Hana delete later tag
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Trying to be patient but would really love it if i had a therapy appointment scheduled by now.
#therapist texted me a week ago saying she has internet back and could schedule virtual visits now#(the office is very much gone though the practice is looking for a new location)#texted back same day saying i did want to schedule and gave some dates#i know she’s probably busy getting every client sorted out and there are probably some with more urgent needs#or maybe her internet isn’t completely stable yet#but i’m worried that she just forgot about me but i also don’t want to be pushy by texting again#i don’t know what do you do when you feel like you desperately need something but also don’t think your needs matter#or that you’re being a burden (asking for a paid appointment that was offered to you)#weird i was able to get a haircut before a therapy appointment considering my hair stylist like…literally lost her home#though i suppose that creates a greater need to get back to work asap#also apparently nothing offsets my money anxiety#me: if there was ever a time to pull a large amount out of savings to give to those in need it would be now#also me: i am going to financially ruin myself and also probably my whole family#me again: you should be giving MORE stop being SELFISH#[proceeds to enter into damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t anxiety spiral where i hate myself in five different ways at once]
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ENOUGH WITH THE REBOOTS AND SPIN OFFS ENOUGGGHHHHH
#first of all why is it always teen shows that they reboot like what for#second of all can anyone name a single reboot that was equally as good and popular as the original#only one I can think of that I would say was as good was 90210 but even that’s up for debate#but the gossip girl reboot? a train wreck from start to finish idk what they were thinking#the pll reboot had slightly more positive reception but even that came and went#compared to the crazy hype the og had. and keep in mind the og was terrible#but I could see the incentive to reboot both of these shows cause people were neither satisfied with the conclusion#of gossip girl nor pretty liars… but one tree hill? why on earth would you reboot one tree hill?#personally I find one tree hill boring but I know for most people that’s like the gold standard of tv#so why would you go and add more to something people were satisfied with#sure you get the hype but you’re also gonna be subject to so much more backlash if it doesn’t meet the originals standards#and one tree hill set the bar PRETTY FUCKING HIGH#if they wanted it to just be about another generation at tree hill high well fine I guess I mean just go and make your own show#do I see the necessity in calling it a reboot? no like just make your own show about two half siblings on a basketball team#but fine let’s call it that. however putting Peyton and Brooke in it means you’re going to basically ruin their character arcs#like there’s no way Lucas and Julian are coming back so you’re already gonna turn a lot of people away#and the elephant in the room is that most people are concerned about the Woke aspect#what I’ve seen in the past is that these reboots start off trying really hard to be politically correct to demonstrate how#it’s a different time now and things have changed#but I think they misunderstand how much modern audiences hate this? and let me make it clear I don’t have a problem with a show being h#socially aware. it’s that the way these reboots handle it is SO heavy handed and unsubtle#there’s just no nuance about it no actual depth it feels… tokenizing?? that’s not the right word#but like they just throw it in there like it’s a box to check before they forget about all of it#but not before you’ve alienated your audience#anyways this will be bad let’s enjoy!
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me: logs onto tumblr
also me: oh my fucking god this is real life I fucking forgot this isn’t a daydream NOT AGAIN
#-pop#You know that feeling that’s like “oh I’m watching a tv show” that’s me with my entire life I forget sometimes I am a normal human person#and not a character who’s doing a play or something I have been doing to much Role playing recently with my friend I think it’s giving me-#problems again fuck.#I hope I don’t randomly start getting original characters stuck in my head again because UH OH THIS WILL BE BAD THIS TIME#*stares at the characters me and my friend has concocted* no I don’t want this guy to take over for me even though I know in my heart of-#hearts they will do a better job then me at coping with new stress thing and I won’t start dying of stress again#AAAAAAAA#NgI do not need a grub war criminal with a heart change of heart on the war criminal thing in my head please no I can’t deal with it#I do not need a capitalist war criminal grub in my head please if it happens I have no fucking idea what I will do I can barely keep the-#Whole slew of Batman characters from fronting and ruining our lives those guys would literally run off never to be seen again no joke#and I’ll come to in like the middle of fucking nowhere because they are on the no front list along with crimson and a few others#As soon as I figure out my life and get a house and a income it will be different but until then I must wrangle these fuckers so-#no one ruins our livessssssssss
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Omg could we see reader getting jealous of Sukuna having sec with his other concubines? And maybe liek the other concubine rubs it in readers face?
𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (no comfort), suggestive \\ smut aspects. size difference. one tiny mention of reader being a crybaby. reader gets called ‘little one, brat’ \\ kuna’s an asshole! not proofread, excuse the grammar. no part 2. wc: 3.3k
you’ve been away from the estate for three days; three days too long for the king of curses. so much had happened while you were away to take some well deserved rest—a small vacation that sukuna had granted you because you needed it.
perhaps that was his first mistake. giving you permission to leave his side ended up being a bad decision. he hates that faint feeling in his chest, the feeling of missing something.
missing someone.
it couldn’t be. sukuna doesn’t have any weaknesses, and yet he can feel his body reacting to that unfamiliar emotion again. all because of you— that one human who always succeeds to occupy his mind.
he couldn’t let himself succumb to it—he’s not going to. sukuna is not going to let a mere human like you deter him from his superior identity that he’s had for decennia. he’s not going to let you have that power over him and his body.
and thus, when you return to the estate, you find yourself being laughed at. you were unpacking your luggage when two concubines stand at your doorway, hiding their evil smiles behind their handheld fans.
they don’t waste a single second and immediately rush to ruin your carefree mood.
“you know, you shouldn’t have returned at all,” the brunette giggles, her laugh sounding like nails scraping against a chalkboard. she looks to the other woman next to her before glancing back at you, “i mean—heh—lord sukuna definitely didn’t seem to mind your absence.”
you figure it’s just another way to get you riled up, so you do your best to ignore them. you put your packed kimonos in your wardrobe as your back faces the two.
yumi, the second concubine, nods along. she knows what she’s about to reveal will get on your nerves. and deserved, if you ask her. they had successfully caught the attention of their king while you were away. for the first time in a good while since your arrival in the estate.
the fact that they managed to spend quality time with sukuna again, is a wonderful first step to your downfall. one that will surely crumble your confidence as his so-called ‘favorite’.
“mhm,” yumi grins as she recalls the memories of her time with sukuna. time spent together that you were unaware of, “lord sukuna definitely didn’t seem to mind your absence when he had me in his bed last night.”
you freeze.
your brows furrow and the corners of your lips twitch. you don’t know if you should believe them—they could’ve lied about it for all you know. although, the voice in the back of your head had already rang the alarms.
guessing by the way they were dying to talk to you the second you came back - which never happens - you realise that they’re probably telling the truth. they’re only telling the truth to agitate you. it’s so painfully obvious, and yet so. . . hurtful.
“what?”
you don’t recall when you’ve choked up. you feel a lump in your throat. it shouldn’t even be there. you promised yourself to not get attached to a monster like sukuna.
so what if he went to bed with his other concubines?
but of course he’ll get pleasure from his other women when you aren’t around. he doesn’t feel any love, he sees it as worthless, so why did you expect him to not indulge himself? he still has his other concubines around for a reason.
you really shouldn’t be surprised by this revelation.
“what do you mean ‘what?’ - you heard me,” yumi shrugs, that cocky smirk still on her face. she’s clearly enjoying your reaction to everything she’s revealing. all the two concubines wanted to get out of this encounter with you, is to break that delusion of yours.
the delusional thought that you’re special to the king of curses—the delusion that sukuna considers you as something more than a toy to emotionally manipulate and play with until he’s tired of you.
“my lord spent all night with me in his chambers until the sun rose,” yumi continues without an ounce of shame. she bites her lip as she remembers the way sukuna had her body positioned on his large bed. for her, it was a dream come true.
though for you, it’s a living nightmare. even if you try to deny the fact that it physically and mentally hurts. there’s a painful twist at your heart—reminding you of the truth.
the truth being that you had truly thought that sukuna wasn’t really a monster of a man. you thought he was a different, more softer person around you.
you should’ve listened to the servants when they told you to not get tricked by sukuna’s special treatment, that he could easily manipulate you and make you do and act as he pleases.
“do you want me to explain it in detail?” yumi crosses her arms over her chest as she looks down at you with a menacing glare. both of the concubines are loving that face you’re making. that face of defeat that you’re attempting to hide from them, “how he held me and pleasured me until i—”
“enough,” you cut them off with your hands clenched into fists. you don’t want to hear another word. you’re already feeling awful; already, not even an hour into your return. you can never catch a break.
you have an urge to throw things around. you already feel stupid, and if you decide to throw a fit, you bet that you’d feel even dumber. you truly do not know why you’re getting this worked up about it.
maybe it’s because of the special treatment. the delusional thoughts you have about your relationship with sukuna. you really thought that you two had something special. an unofficial romantic relationship, perhaps, or something that resembles it.
a secret, unspoken deal where you’re promised his loyalty in exchange for your body and soul.
although, those dreams have been shattered this very instance. you’re once again reminded of the animalistic nature of the being called ryomen sukuna.
he told you clearly that he’d never tie himself to someone, a human no less. devotion to one person? why would he.
“out of the way.”
you push the brunette and her sidekick the other way. you’re going to confront the man yourself. or at least, you’ll try to. you can hear their sick laughs and chuckles fade into the background as you stomp your way towards sukuna’s chambers.
the other concubines seem to have gotten the gist. some peek their heads out of their rooms, grinning at you in victory. seeing your confidence slowly crumble and the realisation kick in - the realisation that your dear lord’s special treatment means absolutely nothing - is a sight for sore eyes to them.
you enter sukuna’s room and close the heavy doors behind you. you swallow the lump down your throat and try your best to look presentable.
no tears, you promise yourself. you’re not going to waste them on something like this.
“oh, it’s you, little one,” the familiar voice calls out. sukuna’s low and husky voice rings from his bed. he’s laid back against the many silky pillows, blowing smoke from his kiseru. he lays there like he doesn’t care about your reappearance at all.
he eyes you up and down, “how was your vacation, hm?”
sukuna asks like it’s the most normal thing to do. it seems like he’s trying to catch up with you, to ask you how you’ve been enjoying your time alone, though it also seems like he couldn’t care less at the same time.
“just absolutely fine, my lord,” you reply with gritted teeth and an obvious hint of sarcasm. there’s also a bitterness to your tone that doesn’t go unnoticed by the pink-haired man. he frowns—this cold greeting is not what he expected nor what he wanted to hear from your mouth. he expected you to at least smile at him like you usually do, but you didn’t.
on top of that, you seemed to be annoyed with him. that unexpected attitude of yours made something inside of him snap. it irritated him somehow; the fact that you’re so comfortable talking to him like that . . . it reminded him of the recent inner conflict he had which you were the cause of.
one of his hands tightens into a fist at his side. his jaw clenches and his eyes narrow into slits. you’re physically in front of him, which means that he’s also about to experience those complicated feelings again. the same ones he tried fleeing from by letting you go on a break, and by physically taking his mind off you.
he did the latter by taking his frustrations out on his other women. the stress that came with the thought of him possibly liking a human, relieved by pure animalistic sex.
that’s exactly what you’re upset about.
there’s an urge inside of sukuna to act normal. to ignore those difficult emotions and just treat you like he usually does. yet, another part of him is trying to protect his sense of superiority by trying to push you away.
there’s a war going on in his mind as he tries to calm himself down. you’ve always had this effect on him and it’s becoming unbearable. he has to show you, no - remind you, that you’re nothing to him. you mean nothing—nothing at all.
he’s the king of curses, you’re but a human. he’ll need to remind himself of that obvious statement as well. he’s got all the power in this situation. not you.
you cannot rule over him or his mind.
“you dare come back with an attitude? tch,” sukuna scoffs, nearly breaking the kiseru with his fingers as they squeeze around the solid material. he’s turning off whatever emotion present in his body. that doesn’t belong there anyway. he won’t care if you cry—he won’t care at all.
you notice the sudden change in sukuna’s tone as well. you’re sure you’re the reason for it. perhaps you crossed a boundary with how sassily you replied to him when he was simply asking you how your vacation went.
“my apologies,” you murmur with a sigh. you try to avoid getting on sukuna’s nerves any further, yet when you remember the words from the concubine, how she implied that sukuna had given her the best night of her life when you were away, you get mad again.
your eyes have a fiery look in them. you don’t want to get worked up. you don’t have the right to. you were warned from the very beginning to not get attached to an asshole like ryomen sukuna.
you’re to blame for feeling like this. it could’ve been prevented if you just weren’t so weak. if you just stayed away from him.
“did you have fun while i was away, my lord?” you continue, your voice shaking a little. you need the confirmation. you’re sure sukuna knows what you’re referring to by now, especially because of the way you’re acting out of character.
the king of curses raises a brow at your question. you sound even angrier, even more pissed off. he tilts his head after taking a deep inhale of the tobacco from his kiseru. he tries to figure out what you’re hinting at, “what are you—”
and that’s when everything fell into place. the dots connect.
sukuna’s jaw clenches. he realises that you’ve found out about him receiving services from his other concubines while you were away. there could be no other explanation behind your sudden attitude. besides, he knows how his other concubines could be. they must have told you the moment you came back.
normally, he’d say that it’s none of your business. what he does is up to him—he does not care about the consequences of his actions. though, seeing the slight hurt in your eyes, mixed with sadness and disappointment stirred something inside of him. he brushes that feeling away and stares at you intently, awaiting another comment. perhaps you’d cuss him out or bawl your eyes out in front of him.
either way, he promises himself that he won’t care.
sukuna is the king of curses. feeling bad for a human like you would only further tarnish his image, that image of superiority and power he has.
he’s a man of many needs. you should’ve kept that in mind when you left him. he wanted to keep you with him—to hold you down and refuse to let you leave—but that would be another sign of weakness. one sukuna could not manage to show.
when you departed, he was irritated by the fact that he had no one to turn to with his needs. from simple needs like wanting your company to sexual needs like craving your body.
keeping you by his side or letting you go; both decisions seem to clash. either way, there’s one thing he’s sure of, as much as he doesn’t want to admit it: he missed you.
sukuna can’t believe that he can feel an emotion like that. he can’t accept that fact. that’s why his irrational mind took over—his dark urges that strived to prove himself to still be the same old ryomen sukuna. the monster that did not need a single soul. the ruthless man that did not depend on anyone else, especially not a human. a woman like you.
he thought he’d forget all about you if he’s surrounded himself with other women. but, he was quick to be proven wrong, and that only caused to enrage him more and more.
every time sukuna fucked a concubine, his thoughts still manage to drift away to you. to how he wished that it was you he was holding.
nothing hit the same with the other women and that frustrated him. he’d keep them around in his room after he fucked their brains out, something he never allowed a woman to do except for you, yet kicked them out again after a few minutes.
it doesn’t hit the same.
you’re just different. your presence is soothing and calming to the chaotic soul of the pink-haired man. no one else could compare. that realisation made him feel inferior; a feeling he loathes.
sukuna’s red eyes glow. he hates seeing you look so defeated, but he cannot give in. if he tells you the truth, he’ll admit his weakness. he’ll admit that a human like you has completely taken over his brain. that’s no good.
if he doesn’t tell you the truth, he’ll save face. he’ll feel like himself again. his old self—the cold ruthless monster that he was before he met you. one without a soft spot for a human.
it’s an active dilemma that’s running through his mind as he slowly blows out another cloud of smoke. you cannot guess what’s going on behind those intimidating eyes staring you down.
sukuna tilts his head back and scratches his neck, smacking his lips as he makes his decision.
“yeah, i did. i had lots of fun.”
the words sting. they hurt you and make your heart ache in a way that makes you physically weak. you should’ve expected that answer. your shoulders tense up and your fingers curl around the material of your kimono—feeling a sense of anger and betrayal.
you can see a ghost of a smirk on sukuna’s lips, which only reminds you of his nature. his nature as an independent, aloof and cold man who likes to play with his prey. a natural disaster that knows no emotion, that shows no mercy to anyone.
you’re naive for thinking that you could be the exception. all of those times with sukuna were confirmed to be but a lie in that moment. as your gazes meet, you can now easily interpret what that look in those red eyes meant.
‘know your place,’
that’s what it means. you’re foolish, dumb. you take a deep breath to compose yourself after you’ve been made out to be a total fool. you should’ve listened to those warnings, you should’ve known that you were getting played.
this is exactly what sukuna desired to achieve. to build up your trust, to make you comfortable enough with him, to think you’re special and that he won’t need any other woman other than you — just to shatter your pathetic delusions when the time comes.
“tsk tsk. no need to look at me like that,” sukuna scoffs, a mocking laugh leaving his lips. he can hear a small voice in the back of his head telling him to shut up and let you go, to not make it worse, but who is he to listen to that irrelevant thought? he can decide for himself.
“y’ weren’t around, so the other concubines simply did their job by serving me,” he stares the other way, seemingly not interested by your presence anymore. his face is as expressionless as ever, “what do y’ think i keep them ‘round for, brat? for decoration purposes? hah, nah.”
another loud mocking laugh makes you nearly burst out in tears. you don’t know if it’s in anger or sadness. you take a deep, shaky breath for the last time. you unclench your fists and nod, accepting the reality check you’d just gotten.
it’s a slap to the face, but it helped you get out of your delusions. the delusions that sukuna is a man capable of loving someone, even if it is just for a tiny bit. this visit confirmed that there’s not an ounce of love or appreciation in that man’s body.
“i’m glad you had fun, my lord,” you answer after a bit of silence. you bow at sukuna in an attempt to stay polite while struggling with that inner turmoil. you don’t even glance up at him anymore. you need another break already.
sukuna isn’t dumb. you may think that you’re good at hiding your emotions, but you’re not. at least not around the king of curses. he’s spent enough time around you to realise that you’re going through a lot right now.
he’s the reason for it, yet he cannot bring himself to feel an ounce of empathy. he just looks at you with a blank stare, thinking that this is for the best.
“good night then,” you add and turn around to walk out of sukuna’s room. your steps are slow as you secretly hope to be called back, like sukuna would do every time you’d leave his room after an intimate night. you just want him to tell you that this was a test of some sort—a cruel joke.
you want to feel like his favorite again. you don’t want to be thrown away like this. you don’t want to be on the same level as all the other concubines. you want to stand out to him.
unfortunately, you don’t hear sukuna’s voice anymore. he lets you walk away without a care in the world. the heavy doors of his chambers close behind you and you feel your knees buckle. “fuck,” you cuss to yourself and clench your chest.
you lean back against the closed doors and try to regain your composure. crying can be done when you’re in your room—not in the hallway where anyone could catch you. you don’t want to give the other concubines more reason to bully you.
you drag your feet across the wooden flooring. all those times with sukuna, all those slight glimpses of his soft side that only you’re allowed to see— all of that is thrown into the trash.
you really shouldn’t have gotten so attached to him on an emotional level.
meanwhile, sukuna is silently sitting on his bed, thinking back to what just happened. he usually never doubts his decisions, but this is an exception. why couldn’t he just tell you the truth?
his mouth had moved before he could let his mind process all that he was feeling. a small part of him regrets it, though strangely, he couldn’t feel any real sympathy for your situation.
sukuna drapes an arm over his eyes, clicking his tongue at himself. he just wants to let the situation go, though his brain isn’t letting him to. the image of you standing at the edge of his bed, clearly hurt by his actions, flashes through his mind again.
he sighs. he’s sure that he’s going to forget about you soon enough. he needed an excuse to get rid of you for the sake of regaining control over his own being and he took the chance. he should be glad that he did—it meant that he’d be his usual self—with no weaknesses to look out for.
sukuna blows out another cloud of smoke through his mouth. as much as he’s proud of himself for not giving in to you, he can’t help but let his thoughts wander again. you’re probably crying in your room. he knows you’re sensitive. you would always cry about the smallest of things and he’d hold you (feigning reluctance) until you’ve calmed down.
he can’t do that now.
well, he can, but he won’t. sukuna has made his decision today: it’s power and status over you. that’s what it’s always been. you were but a toy he used to get a stronger grip on himself.
perhaps he simply is what people make him out to be; a monster. nothing more, nothing less.
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk angst#sukuna angst#ryomen sukuna angst
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ִ ♱ ₊ ࣪ ITS NOT HEALTHY FOR ME TO FELL THIS!
✎ᝰ mean bully!megumi x reader
bully!megumi who started picking at you for no reason, you didn’t know what you did wrong or what you had said. At first he did it for fun just to pick on you but then he started seeing the faces you would make when he would slap your ass,small or big, he loved the sound it would make as you slightly jump up.
bully!megumi who tried to flirt with you while you put your books away in your locker but you kindly told him you had to go. You were just super uncomfortable and wanted to go to class already, honestly.
bully!megumi who noticed that and slapped you against the locker, hands against them as he traps you. You try and see if anyone will help but they just avoid him, knowing who his dad was and just knowing he would treat them same way he was treating you. They knew you were getting bullied but didn’t report it.
bully!megumi who brushes his hand against your upper thighs during classes as you slap it away when the teacher asks what’s going on, calling you pet names behind your ear, teasing you by taking away something you were just randomly holding, he would put it over your head watching you jump and down, and reached to grab it, the visible height difference between you two causing troubles. You take it away from him, seeing your clothed breasts bounce, feeling his pants suddenly tighten.
bully!megumi who would drag you to any empty classroom and lift your uniform skirt up and pulling down your panties, slapping your ass as it turns a darker shade of red by the minute. He would have you laid down and on his lap, sometimes rubbing his thumb to your clit, feeling your squirm under him as you try and get off, just making things worse.
bully!megumi who threatens you and blackmails you with clips of you having him deep in your mouth, gagging sounds as the background coming from the video, swiping to the left, the next clip showing you bouncing on his cock at the dean’s office. He had a whole album of you two and just for personal reasons. You look back at him with doe eyes, tears slipping out of you.
bully!megumi who gaslights you, “I don’t want to have to show the dean but if you report me, I’ll have to, sweetheart..” he coos while holding on your hips as you sit on his lap as he rocks your hips making you rub against his bulge as you cry into his shoulder. You just nod, hugging him tight by his torso— mascara being ruined and smearing on his dress shirt.
bully!megumi who hates seeing you talk to other guys that aren’t him. He would take that anger out on you the next time you would meet up again, you being so confused why he was so mad all of a sudden when just yesterday he was praising you, telling you how good you were to him.
bully!megumi who likes to go raw all the time, never having a condom in hand. He didn’t have sex with other girls anymore since he was always with you now. He would invite you over to his house, you never really having a choice either way. When you would ask him, “Can we use a condom, please? I don’t wanna end up pregnant, megumi.” You whine as you roll your eyes back gripping onto the bed sheets.
bully!megumi who would be mad at your response, slapping your pussy then grabbing you by the back of your hair with the other hand, humiliating you by having his phone on the nightstand as the video records every second. Of course he wouldn’t post it or show it to anyone, he liked having the power of knowing he was the only one that made you feel good, the only one who saw you for what you really were, a slut.
bully!megumi who likes to have you in missionary half of the time because he loved watching you pant, losing your breath as he would ram himself inside you— ignoring your pleads.
bully!megumi who makes you swallow all his cum after you suck him off, if one drop fell down your mouth he would make you get on your knees again, shoving his cock back in your mouth and ramming your head back and fourth to create fiction on his cock.
bully!megumi who eventually stops going so hard on you, leaving you alone and no longer picking on you but later later realizing how much you loved getting treated like a rag doll. You would pull him into the staff bathroom going into a stall and lifting up your skirt, hinting him to put his cock inside you.
“Fuck me, ‘gumi…couldn’t stop think about you all last period.” You pout your lips as you look back at him having a big grin spread across his face. “Thought you didn’t like when I would fuck you?” He teases, pulling down his zipper, briefs joining them.
#euaphora#megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro#megumi fushiguro smut#megumi smut#jjk smut#jjk megumi#jujutsu kaisen megumi#meh#megumi fluff#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu toji#jjk toji#toji smut#toji fushiguro#megumi imagine#jujutsu megumi#geto smut#jjk gojo#gojo saturo#smut#jujutsu nanami#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu sukuna#kento x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo saturo smut#geto x reader
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❝ I’ll ruin you for any other man…❞
𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Venom x Reader
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Your nasty alien eats you out…
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: Spitting,Slut shaming and just down right nasty shi
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 552
You don’t know how you ended up in this situation but here you are splayed across your bed with your big,hunky alien between your legs. His crescent milky, white eyes glared up at you as his monstrous tongue glided teasingly across your plush thighs; his teeth skittered daringly across every perimeter he touched; they were so sharp they could puncture your flesh and paint your skin red at any second, but something about that turned you on- the thought of him purposely nicking your skin to claim you as HIS turned you on to no avail.
You let out a whiny moan as the tip of his tongue swiped across your pulsing nub, groaning in appreciation he used his two hands to grab your thighs to pull you closer to his gaping mouth. “ That’s it baby, moan for me- let the world hear how much of a slut you are for me” he half smirked as you whimpered in response and attempted to close your legs around him, to which he just spreaded your legs wider to allow him to feast upon you with no difficulties. He stopped his sweet abuse on your dripping cunt and stared deep into your eyes “ I want you to be a good girl and use one of your hands to rub your clit while I ravish this aching pussy” without giving you a chance to speak he delved right back into your cunt like a starved man, you let out a long moan in response and snapped your eyes shut as you felt his velvet tongue slide in out of your hole like a piston.
You bit your lip and leaned back into your soft pillows; using your middle finger to rub your clit in fast circles you couldn’t help the sinful moans that were spilling out of your mouth,you began to play with your nipples with your other hand, but that was quickly stopped when he spawned two random tentacle’s and replaced your hand with them, your pussy clenched down hard on his tongue as you felt them tweak and pull at your hardened nipples.
Leaning his head back a bit he gathered up some of your creamy juices and spat it backed onto your puffy lips, he watched it drip down past your fluttering asshole before once again diving back in. You lurched forward in pleasure as you felt your release about to come. He hummed in acknowledgment and sped up his actions,making sure to slither his tongue deep into your pussy so it hits your g spot.
You felt like your body was lit ablaze as you felt tingling sensations all over your body,your eyes rolled to back of your skull and you gripped tightly onto the sheets; the pleasure was all to much, ragged and loud moans were played into the air like sweet tunes.
Rising up from between your thighs you watched as saliva mixed with your delicious nectar dripped from his mouth and unto the clean sheets below you. Leaning close to your face he lowly whispered “I’ll ruin you for any other man” God he was so sexy when he was possessive.
( copy rights to @kyejiz for the divider)
𝐀/𝐍: I know this is a shock but I just wanted to delve into a different fandom since it’s halloween and shi,tell me what y’all think.
© - Ang3l 🎀🧁 my work is not to be published on any other platforms without my consent.
#SoundCloud#venom fanfiction#venom symbiote#venom x reader#venom x you#venom smut#my original content#venom imagine#venom#monster smut#monster fucker#ang3l🎀🧁
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safety [ceo!h x shy!reader]
synopsis: harry is always there to help bambi, always.
word count: 5.4k
contains: ceo!harry x assitant!y/n, deer!reader vibes, fluff, age gap (9 years), harry meets the family, crybaby reader lowkey
a/n: apologies for this taking so long. I've moved into university and switched courses within three weeks so I've had to do a lot of adjusting! But I hope you're doing well, thank you so so so much for all the love on the first part of bambi and being so patient with this part <333
this is part 2 of bambi, read part 1 here
. . .
Y/N sighed as she stepped into the living room, her heart sinking at the sight of her mother passed out on the couch. It was Friday night, and her mom was still in her work uniform, one shoe barely hanging from her foot while the other lay haphazardly across the room. A wave of frustration and sadness hit her hard. She had begged her mom to take the day off to watch the boys so she could go on her date with Harry tonight—the date she’d been looking forward to all week.
This was supposed to be their third date, just before she started working with him at Pleasing this weekend. Their last date had been simple—strolling hand in hand by the river, talking about everything and nothing. But tonight was different. Harry had told her to dress up; he had something important to ask her and was taking her somewhere special. Y/N had been buzzing with excitement ever since.
Glancing at her phone, she felt the sting of tears. Halfway through her makeup, she now realized it didn’t matter—she’d have to cancel. With her mother out cold and no babysitter available at such short notice, the responsibility fell on her. And it was ruining everything.
She opened Harry’s contact on her phone, staring at the little pink heart next to his name. Her thumb hovered over the call button as doubt crept in. What if he never wanted to see her again after this? Cancelling last minute was embarrassing, and she dreaded how angry or disappointed Harry might be.
Her thumb pressed down, the ringing growing louder with each second. Anxiety gnawed at her as she picked at the skin around her nails.
Suddenly, the call connected, and Harry’s voice, smooth and soothing like a lullaby, poured through the speaker. “Bambi? Was jus’ about to pick y’ up. You missin’ me already?”
Her lip trembled, and a tear slid down her cheek as she sniffled. “Harry…” Her voice cracked.
“Hey, what’s wrong, love?” Concern filled his voice instantly, and the warmth of it made her chest tighten.
“I-I can’t go on our date tonight,” she confessed, her voice shaky.
“What d’you mean? Don’t be silly, is something wrong?” His slight panic was clear, making her feel even worse.
“No, it’s not like that. It’s just… my mom came home late, and she’s, um, not able to watch the boys, so I have to stay and babysit. I’m really sorry, Harry. I wanted to go tonight, I swear. I understand if you’re mad or—if you never want to see me again—”
“Woah, woah, Bambi, baby, stop panickin’. I don’t hate you, not at all. It’s closer to the opposite, so calm down, yeah? ‘M not goin’ anywhere.”
“Okay,” she whispered, her voice still thick with emotion. “Y’promise?”
“Five pinkie swears, baby,” he chuckled softly, making her giggle through the tears. “It’s alright. These things happen. But are you okay? Need me to grab you anything? Have y’eaten today?”
His kindness made her heart swell. “N-No, but we’ve got stuff in the freezer I can heat up. Maybe we can reschedule?”
“Bambi, I’m already on my way to your house.”
Her breath hitched. “What? But, Harry, I can’t—”
“You think I’d let a little change of plans stop me from seein’ you? Been needin’ to see m’Bambi all day. How ‘bout this: you help your mum, and I’ll come by and make dinner for all of you. Sound good?”
Her heart skipped a beat. Was he real? Was he really this thoughtful, this willing to come over despite everything?
“Harry, you don’t have to—”
“I want to. Now, go get in some comfy pjs, and I’ll stop by the store to grab snacks. Maybe we can watch a movie later. Does that sound good?”
“Yeah,” she said, her voice lighter now. “That sounds perfect.”
“Alright, I’ll be over in thirty minutes. Take a deep breath for me, Bambi.”
Immediate relief washed over her at the idea of having an extra pair of hands to help her with something that she’d normally be left alone to and better yet it was Harry who was coming to help her. So, she did exactly that - breathe.
. . .
Y/N was pushing clothes into the washing machine when she heard the doorbell ring. Her heart skipped a beat or possibly maybe two when she heard it. She forced the door shut on the machine and walked to the front door. She frowned the closer she got when she could already hear Harry’s voice but that was soon followed by the voice of her younger brother.
“I know jujitsu, you know,” Archie announced, his small five-foot frame blocking the doorway.
“You take classes?” Harry asked, bemused.
“No, I learned it on Roblox,” Archie replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“Oh, I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before. You’ll have to show me sometime,” Harry said with a grin.
Archie snorted. “You could just be saying that to get into our house and rob us.”
Y/N’s face heated with embarrassment as she approached the door, ushering Archie out of the way. Harry’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw her. “Y/N, this pizza delivery guy is trying to break into our house,” Archie said. Y/N looked to see Harry holding two pizza boxes and a plastic bag.
“Archie,” Y/N gasped, “this is not a pizza delivery man. This is Harry.”
Harry smiled, clearly trying not to laugh, and offered Archie a small wave. It did nothing to ease the suspicious look on Archie’s face. “Who’s Harry?”
Y/N froze, unsure of how to answer. Harry was both her boss and the man she was dating, but she couldn’t exactly explain that to her little brother. “He’s... my special friend.”
Archie looked between them for a moment, then shrugged and wandered off. Y/N’s shoulders sagged with relief as she turned to face Harry, who was still grinning at her. He looked incredibly handsome in his matching brown suit, his curly hair tousled in that familiar way. Her heart sank a little, knowing he had dressed up for their date.
“H-Harry, I’m really sorry—” she began, but before she could finish, Harry set the pizza boxes down and pulled her into a tight embrace. She breathed in the fruity scent of his cologne as he gently rubbed circles on her back.
“Bambi,” he murmured with a soft sigh, “I missed you.”
She smiled against his chest. “You just saw me the other day, and we FaceTimed last night.”
Harry pulled back slightly, cupping her cheeks with his large hands. “Kiss?”
Her cheeks flushed, as they always did when he asked for a kiss. She stood on her toes, meeting his lips, savouring the softness of his touch and the faint taste of peppermint from his lip balm.
“Have you eaten yet?” he murmured against her lips. “I brought pizza.”
“You didn’t have to,” Y/N sighed softly. “I was just going to throw something in the oven.”
“Hey, Bambi.” She looked up, meeting his gaze already fixed on her. “I wanted to. I’m here to help, okay? Now, why don’t we eat this before it gets cold? You grab some plates, and I’ll set the table.”
“O-Oh, okay.” She nodded, a bit flustered. “Just so you know, my brothers can be… intense.”
Harry smiled, his expression easygoing. “It’s okay, I’ve got a niece. I’m sure they’ll be fine.”
Y/N led him into the living room where her little brothers were scattered. Archie sat in the corner, hunched over the computer, likely playing the game he had mentioned to Harry earlier.
“Who are you?” a small voice piped up. Harry glanced down to see a boy around six or seven, looking at him curiously.
“That’s Y/N’s special friend,” Archie chimed in without even turning around from his game.
“Weren’t you the guy making out with my sister the other night?” The eldest of the three boys, who looked about fourteen, spoke up from where he was watching TV. Despite his age, there was a maturity in his tone that caught Harry off guard.
Harry chuckled, feeling Y/N stiffen beside him. He gave the teenager a polite smile. “Well, I guess that’s one way to put it.”
“Sammy go and get the plates from the kitchen, Harry bought us pizza.” Sammy huffed, pausing the tv and doing exactly as his sister said.
“Jack, can you grab an extra chair?” Y/N asked the youngest boy, her voice gentle but firm. Harry watched as the boys immediately followed their eldest sister’s instructions without question. A small pang tugged at his chest—part of him felt for her, having to shoulder the responsibility of looking after three growing boys. He didn’t know every detail of her family life, but seeing the way they interacted was enough to tell him they’d had to adapt quickly.
They all gathered around the table, two extra-large pizzas laid out in front of them. Harry chuckled at the sight of the boys eyeing the food like it was a rare treasure.
“Calm down,” he murmured with a grin, leaning close to Y/N. “Y’ so stiff, Bambi.”
Y/N blushed, fidgeting slightly. “Sorry, I just get so—”
“So?” Harry interrupted, smirking as he tried to coax her into a fluster. “So what, baby?”
“So nervous,” Y/N huffed, her cheeks burning as she realized he was toying with her.
A throat cleared from across the table, and Y/N suddenly felt three pairs of eyes locked onto them. Jack and Archie looked disgusted by the couple’s banter, while the eldest boy, Sammy, was glaring at Harry with an intensity that made Harry suppress a laugh.
“How old are you?” Sammy asked bluntly, his gaze sharp and protective.
Y/N choked on her drink. “Sammy! You can’t just ask people that—it’s rude!”
Harry chuckled, raising a hand to calm her. “No, it’s alright,” he said, amused. “I’m thirty.”
“Whoa, you’re old!” Archie blurted out, eyes wide with surprise.
“Archie!” Y/N gasped, mortified, while Jack burst out laughing.
“I guess it is kind of old,” Harry shrugged playfully, glancing at Y/N with a wink.
“Are you rich?” Sammy pressed, undeterred.
Y/N’s face flushed even more, praying the ground would open up and swallow her whole.
“I do well,” Harry replied, keeping his tone light. “I own a fashion company.”
“That means he’s rich,” Archie chimed in, eyes lighting up. “Do you have a sports car?”
Harry leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially, “I own three.”
Archie gasped, his face a picture of awe. “No wonder you can afford two extra-large pizzas!”
“If you think that’s cool, wait till you hear what else I brought,” Harry teased.
“Candy?” Archie’s eyes grew even wider, filled with excitement.
“Better.”
“Ice cream?”
Harry nodded. “Ice cream, candy, whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles... you name it.”
Archie looked as though he might pass out from pure joy. Sweets after dinner weren’t a common occurrence in their house unless it was a special occasion.
Harry’s smile softened as his eyes flicked to Sammy, who was still watching him with guarded suspicion. “What do you want from my sister?” Sammy finally asked, his tone sharp.
Y/N cringed, wishing she could disappear like Jack, who was contentedly munching on pizza, completely oblivious to the tension. Her cheeks were already burning before she’d even taken a bite.
Harry’s hand found its way to her knee under the table, a silent reassurance that he knew exactly how she was feeling without her having to say a word.
“It’s still early,” Harry said honestly, his gaze meeting Sammy’s without faltering. “But I really, really like your sister.”
Sammy seemed to relax at that, but not without a final warning. “You’re not allowed to like her as much as we do.”
Y/N’s heart squeezed at the words. Despite the challenges, the boys were her world, her best friends.
Harry smiled warmly, his voice sincere. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
. . .
"Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!" Archie came barreling into the kitchen, his face smeared with chocolate and whipped cream from the ice cream sundaes they’d made earlier. Y/N was bent over the washing machine, pulling out clothes to hang on the makeshift line by the window.
"Harry says he's gonna take us to the indoor waterpark in the city for my birthday! Isn't that awesome? And he beat Sammy's score on the new game he bought us!"
Y/N glanced up, smiling softly at Archie's excitement. The boys had been glued to the computer for hours after Harry surprised them with a game they’d been begging for. The sound of their wild laughter had echoed through the house all afternoon.
Footsteps approached the kitchen, and she looked up to see Harry standing in the doorway, a smirk tugging at his lips.
"Harry, I was just telling Y/N about the waterpark you’re taking us to," Archie said eagerly.
Harry’s eyes flicked to Y/N. "Ah, yes," he said, smiling at her. "I heard there’s a certain someone’s birthday coming up soon."
Archie's birthday was still a month away, and Y/N had only planned a simple celebration—movies, takeout, and cake. As Archie bolted from the kitchen, beaming about the waterpark, Y/N’s smile faded slightly.
Harry noticed the shift immediately. "What’s wrong?" he asked, stepping closer and reaching for her hand. "Did I mess something up?"
"N-no," Y/N replied quickly, shaking her head. "You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just... Archie's birthday isn’t for another month."
Harry raised an eyebrow. "So?"
Y/N hesitated, her words stumbling over themselves. "I just don’t want to make promises, you know, in case… I mean, what if…" She trailed off, struggling to find a way to express the growing anxiety in her chest. She adored Harry, more than she could articulate, but a part of her couldn’t help worrying about the future—the uncertainties that came with letting someone new into their lives.
"Bambi," Harry’s voice was soft as he cupped her face, his thumb brushing her cheek. "Where’d you go?"
She blinked, confused. "What do you mean?"
His lips quirked into a gentle smile. "Y’ do this thing where you space out, like your mind drifts off somewhere else ‘cause you're thinkin’ too much."
"I do that?" she asked, surprised.
"Mhm," he murmured, his thumb tracing the little furrow in her brow, the touch sending warmth through her. "I like you an awful lot, Bambi. I plan on stickin' around for a long time."
"You do?" Her voice was small, almost disbelieving.
"Yes, I do. And I really like your brothers—they’re a credit to you."
Y/N opened her mouth to deflect, as usual. "Oh, you mean my mom—"
"No," Harry interrupted gently, shaking his head. "I mean you."
Her lips parted in surprise, her eyes misting over. She hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear those words. Without thinking, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his, a kiss filled with the gratitude she couldn't quite express in words.
She was about to pull away, but Harry held her close, his hands gripping her hips as he deepened the kiss. His soft, warm lips made her head spin, and for a brief moment, the world around them disappeared.
That is, until Sammy’s voice rang out from the hallway. "I’m coming in, so you better not be swapping saliva in there!"
Harry broke the kiss with a chuckle, glancing over his shoulder. "Alright, alright, we’re behaving," he teased, winking at Y/N before moving to the sink. "Let me help you," he offered, turning on the faucet to start washing the dishes from dinner.
Y/N watched him for a moment, her heart swelling with warmth. The words he’d spoken earlier echoed in her mind—words that had already begun to feel familiar, but only when they came from him.
. . .
Y/N woke up the following morning, not from the alarm she’d set for 6 a.m., but from the rapid thumping of her heart. Anxiety rippled through her, making her stomach twist with nerves. Today was her first day working at Pleasing, her first day officially under Harry’s employment. She was excited, of course, but that didn’t stop the butterflies in her belly from multiplying.
She stared up at the ceiling for a few moments, taking slow breaths to calm herself. Her phone buzzed softly on the nightstand, and she reached over, her fingers trembling slightly as she opened the message.
Harry: Morning, Bambi 🌞 There’s a car on its way to pick you up. No need to stress, yeah? I’ll be waiting for you at the office. You’re gonna be amazing x
A small smile crept onto her face despite the nerves. Harry’s words were like a warm hug on a cold morning, making her feel just a little bit braver. She couldn’t help but appreciate how he seemed to know exactly what she needed to hear, right when she needed to hear it.
She quickly typed a reply, her fingers still shaky.
Y/N: Thank you. I’m a little nervous but I’ll do my best. See you soon 💕
Y/N got out of bed and went through her morning routine, trying to focus on each task to stop her mind from spiraling into all the things that could go wrong today. She picked out an outfit she hoped said “professional but approachable,” taking extra care to smooth out any creases in her clothes. When she was finally dressed, she checked the time—6:45 a.m.—the car Harry sent should be arriving any minute.
She stepped outside, the cool morning air doing little to ease her racing thoughts. Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension. The street was quiet at this hour, and she couldn’t help but feel like the only person awake in the world.
Just then, a sleek black car pulled up in front of her, the driver rolling down the window with a friendly nod. "Y/N?" he asked, and she nodded in response.
“That’s me,” she said, her voice a little shaky. She climbed into the backseat, clutching her bag on her lap as the driver started the journey to the office. She stared out the window, watching the familiar streets blur by, and tried to give herself a little pep talk.
You can do this. You’re ready. Harry believes in you, so believe in yourself, too.
Her phone buzzed in her hand again, another message from Harry.
Harry: Also going on a coffee run, do you want anything? x
Bambi: Isn’t that my job today? x
Harry: It’s my job to take care of you everyday
Y/N didn’t realize how wide her smile had grown until she caught her reflection in the glassy screen of her phone. A soft blush crept onto her cheeks as she tried to compose herself, glancing out the window to distract from the giddy feeling bubbling inside her. She watched as the quiet suburbs melted into the bustle of the big city, her heart thudding against her ribcage.
Slowly, the car pulled up outside Pleasing. The building was elegant, with an arched doorway and a clean awning that had the brand's name in bold letters. Through the large glass doors, Y/N could see a glimpse of the bright, stylish interior. Her heart pounded as the car came to a stop, her mouth opening with a desperate plea to leave, to turn back and retreat home where she could hide away—but then she saw Harry, and her words fell away for an entirely different reason.
She’d seen Harry in a suit before, but seeing him in full CEO mode was something else. He wore a flawless black-and-white suit, cufflinks gleaming at his wrists. His eyes were stern, his entire demeanor unshakeable—until he looked her way, and his whole form softened.
“You’re here,” His voice was warm and inviting. She wanted to leap into him and hide herself within him but she wanted to be professional.
She stood in front of him, not wanting to get any closer to her new boss, “Good morning, Mr Styles.”
The corner of Harry’s lips quirked, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Good morning,” he replied, savoring her formality. He took a step closer, his gaze gentle yet focused. “Ready for today?”
“Y-yes,” She said but it wasn’t all that convincing.
Harry grabbed her hand, “You’ll be just fine Bambi.” He murmured the nickname just for her to hear.
The warmth of his hand around hers steadied her, but it also set her pulse racing. His fingers intertwined with hers, and he kept their joined hands subtly hidden between them as they walked through the grand entrance and into the lobby. Y/N’s nerves started to quiet, replaced by a growing excitement.
As they stepped into the elevator, Harry’s thumb brushed gently over her knuckles. She looked up at him but his eyes were looking ahead. Her eyes fixated on his sharp jawline and smooth, freshly-shaven face; he looked even more polished, clean-cut and distinctly professional since she’d last seen him.
When they reached his office floor, Harry led her down a sleek corridor and into an airy, open workspace with views of the city skyline. The scent of fresh coffee lingered in the air, and a few team members looked up with welcoming smiles.
Just ahead, a woman in her mid-thirties with shoulder-length auburn hair and an easy smile approached them. Her professional but warm demeanor put Y/N at ease almost instantly. Harry released Y/N’s hand as he greeted her.
“Lindsey, this is Y/N,” he said, glancing between them. “She’s starting with us today. I thought you might help her settle in and get familiar with everything.”
Lindsey extended her hand warmly. “Oh is this-”
Harry’s gaze lingered on her with a slight, unreadable intensity, prompting Lindsey to pause mid-sentence. Then, noticing Y/N, she broke into a bright smile.
“Y/N! It’s so nice to meet you.” She laughed lightly, her eyes flicking to Harry with a teasing glint. “I have to admit, I’m a little curious why anyone would sign up to be his assistant—he can be a real pain most days.” She shot him a playful look. “But don’t worry, just don’t enter his office at midday - he can get real hangry.”
Y/N giggled and Harry’s eyes brightened at the sound, ““Y/N,” he said, his voice warm, “you’re in very good hands.” He turned to Lindsey. “Make sure she gets a proper introduction to everything, but don’t overwhelm her.”
Lindsey chuckled. “I’ll keep it light for today, boss. We’d be here all day getting into your list of demands everyday.”
Harry rolled his eyes, and with a final look at Y/N, said, “I’ll see you later, then.” His words were simple, but the small smile he gave her was anything but. As he walked away, Y/N felt the anticipation return, wanting him to come back and be the one to show her around. She wasn’t the best with meeting new people. She was shy and nervous and fumbled over her words too often but Harry had great faith in her so she would try her best to do good.
“Alright, let’s get started,” Lindsey said, gesturing to an open desk area near Harry’s office. “First things first—coffee? I’ll show you the best spot, and then we’ll make our way through the to-do list Harry sent this morning.”
. . .
Y/N liked Lindsey a lot.
She was funny and gentle. Whenever Y/N made a mistake—like earlier when she accidentally printed everything in pink instead of black and white—Lindsey would correct her kindly, reminding her that mistakes happen. Y/N wasn’t used to this kind of patience; her old boss would snap or hiss at even the smallest error. Here, it felt nice to breathe a little easier.
Lindsey spoke warmly about her two little boys, whom she cared for while her husband was away with the military. She had once been a stay-at-home mom, but over time, the isolation began to weigh on her; she craved more than just the role of mother and wanted to be out in the world, around people. When she applied to Pleasing, she’d explained her situation to Harry during her interview, and he had offered her flexible hours so she could still make it home to her boys each evening.
Whenever Lindsey mentioned the things Harry had done for her and her family, her voice would grow thick with emotion, and she spoke of him with genuine admiration. Y/N found herself thinking of her own circumstances and the way Harry had taken her under his wing, feeling a warmth for him settle in her chest.
“Okay, Harry’s in a meeting, so we need to bring in tea and coffee,” Lindsey said, heading over to a small rolling cart neatly stocked with cups, a teapot, and coffee supplies.
She guided Y/N through the arrangement, showing her how Harry liked his tea prepared. “He’s particular about the temperature—hot but not scalding,” Lindsey explained with a wink. “Don’t worry you’ll get the hang of things.”
Y/N carefully poured the tea, her hands steadying with each instruction Lindsey offered. They finished preparing the drinks, and Y/N took a deep breath, steadying herself as she reached for the cart handle.
“You’ll be fine,” Lindsey reassured her, offering a supportive smile. “Just go in, keep it simple, and make sure everyone has their drinks. You’ll be a natural at this in no time.”
“I’m going in alone?” Y/N’s eyes widened.
“It’s good practice,” Lindsey grins, “Good luck!”
Y/N squared her shoulders and pushed the cart toward the meeting room. The murmurs grew louder as she approached, but her nerves eased slightly upon catching Harry’s eye. His expression softened for a moment before returning to its professional coolness, a small signal just for her.
As she entered, she was met with the sight of a large glass table surrounded by men in sharp suits, all eyes shifting toward her. Taking a breath, she rolled the cart around and placed the cups in front of Harry and the others. Just as she reached for the teapot, a slight tremor ran through her hand, and she felt a sudden rush of panic.
In an instant, she lost her grip. The teapot tipped, sending hot tea spilling across the table and splattering onto a crisp white shirt belonging to one of the men. The room fell silent, and every gaze shifted from her to the angry figure, whose face flushed crimson.
““Watch where you’re going!” he barked, rising from his seat. “Do you even know how to serve properly?”
Y/N’s heart raced, the color draining from her face. Just as she opened her mouth to apologize, a surge of anger rippled through the room.
“Do you think it’s okay to talk to a woman like that?” Harry murmured, his voice laced with malice.
“She stained my shirt! She’s lucky I’m not making her pay for it,” the man continued, and Y/N could see the discomfort on the faces of the other attendees, their expressions telling her they knew he’d crossed a line.
Harry’s eyes darkened, a storm brewing behind them. He reached into his blazer pocket, pulling out a checkbook and a fountain pen. With swift strokes, he began to scribble before turning to Y/N. “Y/N, would you mind delivering this to Mr. Smith?”
Y/N nodded, her hands trembling slightly as she accepted the check, its weight feeling both significant and heavy.
Mr. Smith snatched the check from her hands, glancing down at it with a scowl. Written across the page was Harry’s signature alongside a mere fifty dollars. “Your final check—enough to cover the shirt, I assume? I think I saw the same one in the TK Maxx sale rack.”
“Final?” Mr. Smith asked, incredulous.
“Correct,” Harry replied nonchalantly.
Mr. Smith’s face burned bright red. He huffed, rising from his seat and storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The room fell silent. “Meeting adjourned,” Harry announced, and everyone flooded out, eager to escape the awkward tension.
Y/N stood in the corner, barely able to look up. Embarrassment washed over her; she wondered if she could do any job right. Her eyes watered as she bit down on her lip to keep from crying.
Suddenly, two polished shoes came into view, and big hands cupped her cheeks, gently forcing her to meet his gaze. “Are you okay?” Harry asked, concern etched on his face.
She wanted to say yes, to express pride in her efforts and how well she had handled the day, but instead, she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into his shirt. “I feel like I can’t do anything right,” she admitted, her voice muffled.
Harry sighed, his arms encircling her as he rubbed the back of her head soothingly. “You did nothing wrong.”
“You can’t fire people because of me, Harry.”
“Don’t worry about him. We’ve wanted to get rid of him for ages—just a sexist prick. Turns out you’re a pretty good assistant for giving me an excuse to fire someone on the spot,” he chuckled lightly.
Y/N looked up at him, her heart fluttering as his hand held her cheek, his thumb brushing beneath her eye. “These eyes,” he whispered.
A smile broke through her sadness. “I’m sorry for ruining your meeting.”
“Don’t care, Bambi.” He was so much taller than her, nearly a foot difference, so he had to lean down to brush his nose against hers, their lips ghosting against each other. “You actually made it better.”
“I did?” she whispered, her mind suddenly forgetting the man who had yelled at her.
“Mhm,” he hummed, and then, gently, he pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was soft and lingering, sending a warm flutter through Y/N that chased away the remnants of her earlier embarrassment. She melted into the moment, her worries fading as Harry’s lips brushed against hers.
“Okay, what the hell happened?” Lindsey barged into the room, causing Y/N to leap away from Harry, her cheeks flushing.
“Wow, Lindsey,” Harry said, rubbing a hand over his mouth, both of them flustered as Lindsey glanced between them. “Try knocking next time, yeah?”
“Since when have I ever needed to knock?” Lindsey shot back, her eyebrows knitting together as she assessed Y/N, whose face was now bright pink.
“Since now,” Harry replied. Clearing his throat, he added, “If you’ll excuse me…” He brushed past her, leaving the tension lingering in the air.
A laugh escaped Y/N’s lips, even as embarrassment tinged her cheeks; it was the first time she’d witnessed him so flustered. Lindsey arched an eyebrow, a teasing smile creeping onto her face. “So, are you two like…?”
“No,” Y/N replied, the denial tumbling out a bit too quickly.
Lindsey shot her a knowing look but chose not to press further. “Might want to let him know about that lipstick stain on his upper lip,” she added, rolling the cart out of the room and leaving Y/N feeling distinctly warm and flustered.
. . .
Harry kissed Y/N with the lights off on her front porch after dropping her home. Y/N melted against him, her fingers tangling in his hair as the kiss deepened. She felt a rush of warmth spread through her, the sweet taste of his breath mixing with the fresh night air. His hands found her waist, pulling her closer, their bodies fitting perfectly together. “Bambi,” He slurred against her lips.”
“Hm?” She hummed, unable to stop herself when she pulled him closer.
“I was thinking,” He murmured, pulling away but his hands still firmly gripping her waist, “Maybe this weekend y’ could come to my place and stay the night.”
“The night?” She’d never had a sleepover before let alone one at a boys house.
“Yeah… Would you be okay with that?”
“Y-Yeah, I think so.”
“Y’ think so?” Harry grinned, “Are y’ sure?”
She smiled, “I’d like that.”
“Well, alright then,” he murmured, leaning down to place one last, soft kiss on her lips. “Goodnight, Bambi.”
“Goodnight, Harry.” Y/N barely suppressed a smile as she watched him walk to his car, a flutter in her chest as he turned back for a final wave.
Before she turned to step into her house, her phone buzzed and a text came through from Harry.
Harry: I think we have to get better at this whole sneaking around thing
Y/N: Tell yourself that, you kissed me first!
Harry: Can’t help it Bambi
Harry: I’m obsessed with you
. . .
taglist ~~
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#harry styles fic rec#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles blurb#harry styles x reader#harry styles imagines#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagine#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#bambi#harry styles one shot#harry styles fic#harry edward styles#harry styles writing#fanfiction#ceo!harrystyles#ceoharry#shy!reader#fic rec
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VOID STATE: LAZINESS IS A DISEASE, GET WELL SOON 🧸
get your ass up and get your dream life
*mild tough love because some of you need this*
so alot of people go on about how they procrastinate the void and shifting to their new reality because of fear. but alot of you do not want or care to admit that , you’re just too fucking lazy. And to that i say seriously?? You know that you can have ANYTHING, absolutely ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you dream of, with just a trip to the void state and yet you hold it off. “I’ll do it tonight” you say, even though the most groundbreaking thing you have done today was scrolling through your phone on this app and others (which is time that could have been spent tapping in). You torture yourself scrolling through tiktok and instagram, looking at others from afar with jealousy wishing you had their lives. You add posts into your favourites telling yourself “i’ll have that life someday”, “i’ll have that body soon”, “when i shift i’ll be as pretty as her” (when you could literally have all that and better RIGHT NOW) You insert yourself in different narratives, shows and groups you wish you were apart of, when you could literally shift to a reality where you are there.
you don’t have to look at them with jealousy
you dont have to get upset about your shitty life
you don’t have to imagine
you don’t have to want for anything
you don’t have to yearn, long, desire
it can be yours, if i’m honest you should be more excited about this, scripting anything you could ever possibly dream of, even the little details, and they could be YOURS. you should start being so much more excited about this, about your dream life, like seriously. And that excitement about having everything should motivate you to tap in. Instead your lazy ass has adopted a loser mentality, doing absolutely nothing all day telling yourself you’ll “try at night” and when you don’t get in you repeat the cycle. You abandon responsibilities telling yourself it doesn’t matter because “youre gonna shift anyways”, and you don’t even put in the actual effort. It’s a very dangerous cycle to go down and you can go from moving round that cycle once to doing it 30 times and before you know it you’ve spent a month in this rut.
you don’t have to wait until the night and you know that so don’t give me bullshit. Take those limiting beliefs away and do it at any time of day when you get the chance.
Do you know how lucky you are to even have the access to learn about this shit. There are probably so many people much more disciplined than you, that would do so much with this information, who don’t even have access to the internet or any outside resources to even reach this sort of information and you’re fucking wasting your days lurking on this app. doing what? And it’s sad because, this community is so small meaning you are here for a reason my love, all that shit you went through and didn’t deserve, you looked at it all and knew there was more out there for you, knew that you were deserving of more. And i’ll be dammed if your lazy ass ruins it for yourself.
You have overcomplicated the void so much to the point where you’re scared to “fail” and “let yourself down” so you put it off and say you’ll “do it later”. Now remember, you cannot fail the void, you cannot fail something that is inside you, something that IS you. What you fail to do is stand firm in the fact that you’re a god and can do anything, everything is easy for you so get off your ass and go shift.
i just HAD to 🤭 @smellofemale
you deserve everything, and you CAN, in fact, have it all. JUST DO IT 🥥💋
#salemlunaa#shiftblr#permashifting#reality shifting#shifting#law of assumption#loa#success story#void state#the void#void concept#respawning#manifesting#master manifestor#manifestation#void#void state tips#the void state#voidstate#shifting blog#shifters#shifting community
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drew and actress!reader read thirst tweets
masterlist | actress!reader masterlist
warning: a little bit thirsty, as expected <3
The cast settled into their seats as the crew finished setting up the cameras and lighting.
“Why am I more nervous for this than any of the other interviews?” Madelyn laughed, straightening up her dress. The cast had already done a handful of different interviews for the third season of Outer Banks, the famous (or infamous) “Thirst Tweets” the last on the docket.
“No I am too, babes.” Y/n said, shaking Madelyn’s leg playfully. The three girls, Madelyn, Madison, and y/n, sat in front chatting while the boys, JD and Drew, were getting their hair “refreshed” before they began shooting.
“Alright, so here are your tweets,” one of the crew members said, handing each of them a phone preloaded with tweets of varying degrees of horniness.
“Oh my—” JD started to shout, but was cut off when Madison elbowed him.
“Don’t start yet!” Madison giggled, resting her phone in her lap, a blush already rising in her cheeks.
“Ok, you guys good?” The cameraman asked, shooting the cast a thumbs up.
“Yes!” The five of them shouted in unison as the camera began to roll.
“Alrighty, take it away… Madelyn.” The secondary camera operator focused on Madelyn, who looked down at her phone.
“Ok, this one is pretty straightforward: ‘Madelyn Cline is a mother’.” Madelyn giggled.
“Not just ‘a mother’, ‘mother’.” Madison corrected, causing Madelyn to shake her head bashfully.
“Ok, ok, Mads you go.” Y/n said, elbowing Madison lightly.
“‘Madison Bailey please kiss me’...” Madison looked into the camera, a cheeky grin on her face. “Ha, ha… no.”
The cast laughed before returning to their phones, looking through their tweets.
“‘Jonathan Davis I am free tomorrow at 5 pm if you want to go on a date and hold hands! And… redacted, redacted, redacted’.” Jonathan read.
“Sounds… fun?” Y/n commented, glancing back at JD, an eyebrow raised.
“Oh, ‘it’s true. Drew Starkey makes me go feral’.” Drew read sheepishly, his cheeks flushing. JD started to make some sort of animal noise, Drew joining in, the two of them playfully going “feral” behind the girls.
“Y/n, does Drew Starkey make you go feral?” Madelyn asked teasingly.
“Not in whatever way they were doing.” Y/n stifled a laugh, turning back to Drew, who shook his head with a grin.
“Ok, sure. You go, baby.” Drew said, rolling his eyes playfully.
“Alright…” Y/n scrolled, looking for a good tweet before continuing, “‘y/n is so fine, like please ruin my life I beg of you’. Wow, thanks I guess? For letting me ruin your life?”
The cast laughed before continuing back to their tweets, each of them feeling flushed and flattered by the very kind tweets.
“‘Before I watched Outer Banks I always classified the rich as annoying and vowed I’d never simp over one…’” Drew read, “‘until I met Rafe Cameron and flew up his ass like a bat’?”
“‘Flew up his ass like a bat’?” Y/n asked incredulously, her mouth agape.
“If somebody walked up to you on the street and said that to you…?” Madelyn asked Drew.
“Marry me.” Drew said nonchalantly.
“Drew, I need to ask you a question—” Y/n began, but collapsed into a fit of laughter before she could get the words out.
“Can I ‘fly up your ass like a bat’?” JD finished, making eye contact with Drew before the two of them moved in for a dramatic kiss, falling away just before their lips would’ve met. The girls let out surprised screams, grabbing onto each other before laughing.
“‘I love my boyfriend with all my heart, I truly do, but Madelyn Cline can sit on my face she’s so beautiful’.” Madelyn read, a small smirk on her face.
“Wow, that’s a lot… real.” Y/n said. Drew’s head whipped up, a look of confusion on his face.
“Is there something you need to tell us?” JD quipped, causing y/n to realize exactly what she said.
“No, no, no,” Y/n chuckled. “Madelyn Cline is very beautiful, but I am still very much feral for Drew Starkey.”
“You’ve got a thing for Camerons?” Madison asked, Madelyn and Drew leaning in with mischievous smiles on their faces.
“Yep, yep, that’s it.” Y/n laughed, nodding into the camera.
“‘Y/n is so beautiful, Drew Starkey can you fight?’” Y/n read with a chuckle, turning to look at Drew.
“Yes, yes I can.” Drew said into the camera, his face completely serious.
“Drew wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Madelyn clarified.
“Oh no, no, I will. Trust.” Drew raised his eyebrows, wrapping an arm around y/n’s shoulders before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. The cast let out a collective “awww”, y/n giggling bashfully.
“‘Drew Starkey could rail me anyday. Respectfully’.” Drew chuckled nervously. Madelyn and Madison looked between each other, their jaws dropped.
“Once again, I’m flattered. But… that’s reserved for this one—” Drew grabbed y/n’s shoulder, shaking her playfully. Y/n immediately put her hands over her face, hoping to cover the flustered expression on her face.
“Oh my god.” Y/n mumbled into her hands, the other cast members bursting out into fits of laughter at Drew’s boldness.
“Alright, and cut!” The cameraman said, the cast letting out cheers as they got up from their seats. As they stood, y/n felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist before turning back to Drew.
“How you feeling, baby?” Drew hummed, grinning down at y/n cheekily.
“Flattered. Very.” Y/n giggled, pressing a kiss to Drew’s jaw.
“Well, a lot of those tweets certainly had some… good ideas.” Drew whispered.
“Starkey! You’re… too much.” Y/n felt her cheeks warm as Drew kissed her languidly.
“Am I wrong though, baby?” He teased.
“Let’s see when we get to the hotel.” Y/n said, stepping away from Drew and grabbing his hand as they made their way out of the studio… but she had a feeling they probably weren’t going to make it to the hotel.
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truth or dare
18+. mdni. smuuuut. yeah man it’s really just smut. eddie munson x female reader.
a/n: not sure if i really like this but i wanted to post something while i work on this other long ass thing that may never see the light of day el oh el a continuation to gimme a hand and bump n’ grind or can absolutely be read on it’s own!
steve and robin had made the right call, leaving a few hours ago before the storm really hit.
eddie’d stupidly offered another joint, not wanting to let you go so soon. optimistic that maybe something would happen after those two had cleared off.
you’d been darting around it all evening, watching the movie with your hand under the blanket, stroking his thigh. inadvertently, or perhaps purposefully, making his cock shift with every length of your hand.
you peer out of the window, clicking your tongue against the back of your teeth, “i don’t think i can drive,” turning back to face him, “it’s really comin’ down out there,” a hint of satisfaction in your voice.
“i’m sure wayne won’t mind if you crash here,” shrugging softly.
you used to stay around a lot when you were slightly younger, back when touch was innocent and there weren’t all these complicated layers to your relationship.
“can you handle that?”
his eyes roll back, “shut up,” sitting back in his spot on the couch. anticipating spending the night here rather than in his bed, desperate to prove that he could handle it.
“whatcha wanna do?” you sing, pursing your lips.
“i dunno,” he shrugs, “we could watch another movie?” knowing that ultimately, another movie would lead to you touching his thigh until he came or something.
“that’s boring,” scowling at his suggestion, “i mean.. we are stuck in here,” biting on your bottom lip, “let’s play a game,” you propose, cocking your head, “truth or dare.”
eddie groans, an unwilling participant in your silly little games.
“come on,” offering zero incentive for him to play, “it’ll be fun,” taking another swig of the surely luke-warm beer. “truth or dare?”
there is not a single bone in his body that wants to play with you. no doubt you’d have him confessing to something embarrassing or doing something dangerous or stupid.
“dare,” he says flatly, hoping you’ll dare him to jump out of the window or something.
“i dare you..” you ponder for only a second, “to take your shirt off.”
“wh-,” he starts, mouth falling open, “well i dare you to take your shirt off.”
“it’s not my turn, idiot,” pursing your lips, “off.. now.”
pouting your lips, watching carefully as he lifts his shirt off, tossing it to the other side of the room.
“alright,” honing in on this stupid game, “truth or dare?”
“dare.”
eddie’s eyes light up, “take your shirt off,” immediately getting his own back.
“you’re supposed to say i dare you before your dare,” tutting at his impatience, though you do as he says.
lifting your shirt over your head, revealing the lacy bra you had most definitely chosen on purpose. maybe this was your plan all along, waiting to get him alone to inflict your cruel wrath upon him.
he ogles just enough to not have you mention anything, diverting his attention back to whatever drivel was on the tv. desperate to just get over this dancing around each other and get to the inevitable.
“truth or dare?” you ask again, poking his leg with your foot.
“do we have to play?” eddie whines.
“yes.”
“okay truth,” he spits, leaning back against the cushions.
“why didn’t it work out with you and chrissy?”
he groans again, already sick of this, “we wanted different things,” different things being you, he means.
“like what? i thought you were testing the waters or whatever?” mocking him with his own words.
“you. you jerked me off and ruined my life forever, is that what you wanted me to say?”
you ponder in silence for a moment before that god awful smirk creeps onto your face, “actually yes, that’s exactly what i wanted you to say,” crossing your legs, all self-righteous and smug.
it’s not like you didn’t already know this, it was fairly obviously to anyone with eyes and two brain cells to rub together.
“your turn,” smiling pointedly at you, “truth or dare?”
you hum, contemplating your options, whatever you picked, he was surely going to make it worth his while.
“dare.”
“alright,” eddie sits up straight, poking his tongue into his cheek, “i dare you to run around outside in your underwear,” if you wanted to play stupid games, you could win stupid prizes too.
your smile grows, taking over your entire face, “fine,” standing from your spot on the floor, shimmying out of your jeans right in front of him.
he jumps up, rushing to the door as you bound outside, filling the silent trailer park with your squeals and squeaks.
eddie watches in quiet amazement, more focused on the way your tits move with every bound, your lacy panties framing your jiggling ass perfectly. he’s close to drooling, turning into a slobbering mess at the sight of you literally frolicking in your panties. he was a pathetic man, and he knew it.
you turn, running full speed back into the door, teeth chattering and your hands trembling from the cold. barrelling straight past him, back into the warmth, lashes coated in tiny, intricate snowflakes.
“fuck!” you screech, “you asshole,” picking up his discarded shirt to slip on instead of your own. he wishes you hadn’t. seeing you half naked in his shirt was far worse than seeing you actually naked.
eddie snickers, closing the door all the while trying to keep his composure.
a smirk erupts onto your face, something ticking away in your brain before you stomp over, grabbing his cheeks with your ice cold hands, grinning with pure self satisfaction.
he hollers, grabbing your wrists in defence. it becomes a flailing sort of dance, with you trying to keep your cold hands on his face and him fighting to get you away. a mixture of expletives fill the trailer, screeching over one another as you move around the room.
you trip over one of the discarded bottles on the floor, sending you flying back onto the couch, still breathlessly cursing him out.
eddie takes the only logical step, pouncing on top of your flailing body, bounding your arms together at the wrist, heaving for breath.
he freezes, the realisation that for once he had all the power dawning upon him, unequipped for the sudden change in dynamic.
he can feel you, underneath him, pressed into the couch by his body, sending shivers down his spine.
“you gonna do something or what?” you snark, no longer trying to wriggle free, accepting and even pleased in your defeat.
“yeah,” he adds meekly, despite not making an attempt to actually do something.
your brows thread together, knee sliding up the side of his body, spreading your legs further as his cock perks up in response.
holy fucking shit.
this was it.
or it could be it if he can gather his raucous thoughts enough to make a move.
eddie’s had sex before, multiple times in fact. he doesn’t understand why his hands aren’t doing the thing they should be, why he’s frozen in place, waiting for something to happen.
“we don’t have to, you know?”
fuck. he was going to fuck this up through sheer stupidity.
so instead of letting his brain worm his way out of what would probably be the best moment of his life, he thinks with his dick.
pressing his lips to yours in a hasty, rushed kiss. letting your hands free from his restraint, allowing you to weave your fingers through his hair just like he’d thought so much about.
his hands crawling underneath his shirt, touching your skin for what felt like the first time ever, gliding over your waist, appreciating the soft feel of your skin, lingering for too long.
he doesn’t want to take it off, how many times could he say he’d have sex with you with his shirt on?
you’d already stripped him out of his clothes, leaving nothing to the imagination as his hips grind down against yours, breathing shakily into your mouth.
your lips latch onto his, tongue sliding into his open mouth while your fingers pull gently at his curls.
even when eddie thinks he’s fully in control, you still take charge. rutting your hips upwards, separated by the thin layer of lace and his boxers that most definitely had a hole in them.
there’s a fifty percent chance that he’ll cum right away, already incredibly hard, teetering on the edge.
it’s genuinely incomprehensible that after months and months of longing and edging, this was finally happening. too caught up with trying to keep to your pace to really think about the implications on your relationship too much.
he hopes that this won’t change anything, at least not negatively anyway.
your hand slides down the tiny space left in between your bodies, toying with the waistband of his boxers before slipping in. unable to contain his groan from slipping out and into your mouth.
tugging the fabric down just enough to let his cock out, giving him no time to recover before your fist wraps around the base of his cock, pumping your fingers around the sensitive skin.
“fuck,” he breathes, bottom lip still latched onto yours. no hand had ever come close to yours, filling his thoughts since you’d touched him for the first time.
wayne’s ratty old couch wasn’t exactly the romantic location he’d envisioned this happening in, but beggars can’t be choosers and eddie certainly wasn’t going to complain.
he’s so dumbfounded that any of this is even happening, clumsily fumbling with the lace hem of your underwear, tugging them down haphazardly, with no care or grace.
his previous displays of desperation made sure you didn’t care about his composure, or else you wouldn’t be here.
your lips collide, all teeth and tongues and spit. eddie too focused on the feel of your hand around his cock to care.
he can feel your body shift from underneath, manoeuvring his cock to your soaked entrance, letting out the most ungodly noise as the tip glistens with your slick.
pressing your sweaty forehead against his, begging for his full attention, “look at me,” you insist, running your fingers around his cock, withholding him from full satisfaction.
he does as you ask, finding your wild-eyed gaze, holding it just long enough to slide into your slick cunt, grunting into the hot air that hung around the room.
“fuck,” you bite, weaving your fingers through his hair, tightening your things around his waist.
it’s dizzying. feeling you envelope around him just as he’d imagined countless times before. you’re so warm and so wet, so so wet. eddie can’t help but wonder if this is how you’d felt when you were grinding against him.
nothing could’ve ever prepared him for the fuzzy haze that’d encapsulate his brain, thoughts only of you and your body and your pussy.
his balls slap against your ass, slow and steady, hoping not to bust five seconds in. keeping his eyes on yours, encapsulated by the way they flit between his eyes and his lips.
heaven wouldn’t be too far off this, he thinks.
his rhythm is neither here nor there but he was trying, filling you to the hilt and then pulling back out again.
every soft, melodic gasp and cry you made was echoing through his brain, spurring him on to make them louder.
purely intoxicated with your pussy, gasping for more as he slams against your hips.
this wasn’t going to last long but he sure as shit was going to make it worthwhile.
you writhe underneath his body, fingernails grazing against his scalp, gentle and yet demanding.
“sh-shit eds,” you pant, jaw slack with your tongue practically lolling out of your head.
just hearing you moan his name has detrimental effects on his brain chemistry. his eyelids struggle, fluttering open just enough to meet your glossy eyes, pupils blown out and crazy. this was going to wreck him for the rest of his life, cursed forever by the image of you and your parted lips. the way you wail his name becoming a tune he’d revisit constantly.
he’d love to capture it, one day, if you’d let him.
no one would ever come close to you, your cunt and your god forsaken sighs. eddie promises to himself that if there’s a next time, he’s not leaving until you cum. unsure if he’d be able to control himself but more than willing to take that risk.
his thrusts become sporadic, losing his grip on reality as he teeters closer and closer to the edge. you can see it too, tugging gently on his hair to bring him back to this reality.
pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his mouth, too high off of your own pleasure to aim for accuracy.
eddie’s not sure if he prefers your goading or this softer touch, honestly neither were helping him not to bust his load right now.
“yeah?” you breathe, in response to his hoarse grunts, succumbing to the tightening pressure in his stomach, “you gonna cum?” sighing against his mouth.
he doesn’t want to, not really. hoping this’d last forever and ever because god knows if you’d ever let him touch you again.
hoping desperately to have not wasted his one and only time buried inside of you by cumming in five minutes flat.
but he is going to cum, in fact, he’s dangerously close to doing so immediately. the way you squeeze and tighten around him only accelerating the inevitable, his toes curling and mouth running dry.
he was seeing stars, dancing around the inside of his eyelids. woozy on adrenaline as he pathetically ruts his hips into yours for a final few lousy strokes.
“oh fuck,” eddie rushes, “no- fuck i’m cumming,” his cock slides out, thick ropes of his release covering not only your inner thighs but the couch too. collapsing atop of your perfect body, pinning you to the cushions as he attempts to gain some sort of semblance of control.
his face finds your chest, heaving for breath between your tits, his shirt pulled up just enough for your bra to peep underneath the hem.
“jesus christ,” words vibrating against your skin, almost purring at your fingers combing through his hair.
nothing he could ever dream would match up to that. the neurons in his brain had been frazzled, never to work or compute the way they should, ever again.
he places a measly kiss to your chest, looking up at you through his lashes, an insignificant gesture of appreciation that he felt he owed.
“you good?” you ask, lips twitching into a smile, unsure if you’re mocking him or genuinely concerned. either or would be fine.
“not really,” still floating up above the clouds.
“shut up,” definitely mocking, pulling tufts of his hair back to have him meet your eye fully, “you liked that?”
he nods enthusiastically, pining after your approval like the lovesick little loser he truly was. incredibly, you hadn’t run off into the storm, so maybe you had too.
“good,” abruptly letting go of his hair, his head falling back onto your chest, “get off me, i need a shower,” attempting to peel him off of your body.
eddie knows, or at least hopes, that your snippy, sarcastic comments were made out of love. you showed affection by being a bitch and he showed his by being a stumbling, pathetic loser.
if that was all he had to endure to get anywhere near your pussy again, he’d do it in a heartbeat. each and every time.
-
wayne’s knuckles wrap against his bedroom door, waking eddie from the already broken sleep he was suffering with, far too excitable to settle down properly. instead he’d spent his hours between drifting in and out of sleep and watching your dreamy face, trying to match his breaths to yours.
he slides out of bed, careful not to wake you, treading carefully to avoid the mountains of crap strewn across the floor.
“what the hell?” wayne whispers angrily, gesturing back to the living room he had neglected to clean. too caught up in you being in his shower and in his bed with his shirt on to care about empty beer bottles and discarded clothes.
“sorry,” eddie squirms, knowing he couldn’t exactly worm his way out of this one. “we had a few beers.. you know,” shrugging coyly. his uncle wasn’t stupid, he definitely did know.
wayne’s eyes narrow, flitting behind eddie to you, sleeping soundly in his bed. thankfully covered by the blanket as you slept in just his shirt.
“what happened there?” raising his brow at his inconspicuous nephew.
he shrugs, and then he grins. that great big toothy grin that wayne couldn’t mistake.
wayne shakes his head, tutting to himself as he backs away from the door, “clean that shit up before i wake up,” before disappearing into his own room.
eddie smiles to himself, sliding back into bed when you stir, humming softly, displeased to have been woken up so early.
“is he mad?” you mumble, muffled by the pillow.
“no.. no, not really,” eddie hushes, turning on his side to face you.
you’re still dozing, not bothering to open your eyes though he didn’t mind, you were peaceful this way, far calmer than your usual self.
“good,” settling into the pillow before slinging your leg over his thigh, pulling yourself closer, “he loves me too much to do anything anyway,” nestling your body into his side.
if the world ended tomorrow, eddie would die a happy man.
#eddie munson#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x female reader smut#eddie munson fic#eddie munson being pathetic#eddie munson x reader
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── crazy over you. ( pjs ) 🗯️
๑ When jay finds out that his brother tried to make a pass at you, he’s more than furious— and he’s going to make sure that shit never happens again.
pair: possessive bf!jay ㅊ gf!reader | warnings: smut, pwp, angst, mentions of cheating, humiliation, degrading, revenge, jay is so toxic and sooo mean in this, spanking, spitting, facial masks (iykyk), daddy kink, video recording, jay acting like nothing happened after, doing it in his jake’s bed... (yikes), sweet aftermath | words: 2.1k
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
“it’s not what it looked like, jay !” “i promise it was nothing.” you attempt to try and explain yourself but the damage has already been done, knowing the ‘calm’ look he upheld on his features was anything but calm. your boyfriend has always been the jealous type, especially when it comes to you. you were terrified of the outcome, of what he might end up doing. you had no idea what he was gonna do to his brother, but you just prayed to the heaven’s above that nothing bad will happen to him.
jay sat manspread on the off-white leather sofa. staring blankly at your begging shape beneath him. so many thoughts were racing in his head all at once, he wasn’t sure whether to be more angry at you or his brother. what the hell were you even trying to protect him for? why were you so locked in on making sure jake doesn’t get hurt? all this pleading and crying over someone who made sexual advances towards you ? did you like it ? did you enjoy all the attention ?
he feels as though he’s been betrayed, not only by you but his own fucking brother at that. yet he still wants answers from you, he wants to know why you’d let him even say those things to you in the first place. granted they were just text messages but that still didn’t make it right, it was more than obvious that jake was trying to flirt with you. jay saw the messages himself, going through your phone while you were in the shower to see if you were hiding something; he noticed you’ve been acting different lately and wondered if there was anyone else in the picture. he had no idea it’d be jake of all fucking people.
after seeing those messages he’s now convinced that you fucked jake but you’ve already told him multiple times that you didn’t. he refuses to believe you though, he just thinks you’re covering up for him— which only pissed him off even more; and since jake isn’t here yet, why not just take out all his anger on you instead ?
“you’re not understanding, everyone says that cliché shit, y/n.”
“why you so worried about him for ? worry about your damn self.” jay aggressively spat. “you’re just gonna let him talk to you like that and not even tell him to stop once ? did you forget that you have a whole boyfriend ? guess i never really mattered to you after all.” jay put you in your place, making you feel even worse for your actions.
you’ve lost count how many times you’ve profusely apologized to him, on your knees in front of him as you beg for forgiveness. you’d rather take all the fall and have nothing happen to jake, you know it’d get really ugly if they got into a fight and jay can’t afford to get caught up with the police again.
“just punish me jay, please. i don’t want you to hurt jake, it’s not worth it—”
“what do i get out of not doing anything to him ?” “you want me to continue on knowing that he just casually tried to make sexual advances at my girl ? are you fucking stupid ?” he cut you off with even more harsh words. jay wasn’t having any of it, he’s already made up his mind and now he can’t get the horrifying image of you cheating on him with jake out of his mind. it just made his blood boil even more.
“no.. i just don’t want to ruin your relationship with him..” you paused for a second, watching as he grabbed his phone, completely dismissing your presence. “are you even listening ?” you get nothing in return but a camera being flashed in your face unexpectedly.
“pretty.. look a little more guilty though.” he chuckled to himself as he looked at the picture he took, still refusing to answer you.
“jay ! i’m trying to reason with you right now but you won’t even bother to hear me out.” your chest felt like it weighed a ton, heaving out a heavy sigh as you anxiously ran your fingers through your hair.
“go on, i’m listening.” jay finally acknowledges you again, his expressionless demeanor made you unable to read exactly what’s on his mind.
“i’ll do anything.. just, please forgive me.. baby, forgive us.” you try your best to appeal to him, clasping your hands together.
“how many times do i have to get through your head that there is no fucking ‘us’, it’s you and fucking me. stop bringing him up. he’s not even here right now !” jay bitterly spoke at you, it was like he bit every word before he let it bubble out of his mouth.
you could only stay quiet. what other option did you have at this point ?
“you want me to forgive you ? huh ?” it was barely even a second before you reacted, nodding your head eagerly. causing jay to chuckle at the helpless look on your face.
“desperate ‘n sorry, huh baby.. ? you’re the one who’s blatantly in the wrong and now you’re sitting here begging.”
he bent down, holding your chin in his grasp tightly, inching his face closer and closer to yours. “why didn’t you tell him to fuck off ? was it because you were enjoying it ? attention seeking slut.”
again you don’t say anything, even if you said no he’d just laugh in your face anyway, you couldn’t win no matter what you said or did.
“you got no god damn shame do you? do you, doll ?” before you knew it jay’s lips parted against yours, taking in your steady breaths, replacing them with heavier ones. jay put every bit of frustration he had in him into this kiss. the sounds of your lips parting only to meet again echoed around the living room.
he was sloppily devouring you, taking every bit of you that jake so desperately wants but could never have. he’s going to make sure he marks every inch of you, and make sure that you won’t be able to walk for a good week after he’s finished with you.
“fuck, get upstairs.” jay broke your savoring kiss, leaving a string of saliva dripping down your jaw.
“but i—”
“shut up. jake’s room. now,” he followed behind you as you paced up the stairs, smacking your ass on the way up. all that’s on his mind now is fucking you so dumb until you’re completely ruined.
this felt wrong to you, doing intimate activities in someone else’s bed. yet you were so caught into him you didn’t protest nor do a damn thing about it. you knew you’d have to face the consequences, so you’ll just have to suck it up.
๑ ๑ ๑
jay was filming you, watching you through his phone as you jerked yourself back onto his shaft. the sound of your dewy skin slapping together arousing him even more.
“fuck.. so big..” your hand crept up to your boobs, playing with them.
“you can take it, whores like you always can,” he panned his phone around the room before focusing it onto your ass.
“mine. all fucking mine.” jay groaned as he pulled away, spanking your ass before taking his phone to set it up on a pillow. he then proceeds to show the ‘viewers’ a thumbs up with a raise of his eyebrows as if he was just casually doing a livestream.
“hurry, please baby..” you pinched and circled around your needy bud. waiting on jay’s say-so.
“don’t be fucking rude, say hi.” he points to the camera before returning his gaze to you.
you’ve never felt more embarrassed in your life, as you should be, you’re being filmed, even if you gave him consent, your head still hung low. “hi..” you mumbled, even adding a little wave.
your bare skin clung onto jay’s, arms needily hanging onto his body. eyes begging for his touch.
“what do you want ?” jay devilishly smirked, eyeing down at you but you don’t say anything, instead giving him a pleading look that you hoped to be understood.
“gotta use your words, closed mouths don’t get fed sweetie.”
“i want your big cock in me.. please.” you manage to cry out, hoping that he’d find some sympathy within to give you what you want.
“who’s?”
“daddy’s.. i want daddy’s big cock in me..soo bad..!” you whined, unable to bear the mess between your legs, the feel of your warm arousal dripping down your legs made your clit throb for more.
“mmh, that’s my good little slut..” he smacked his lips, tapping your thigh indicating that he wanted you to lay down.
jay dragged you by the waist, positioning you in front of the camera. checking the angles from time to time. when he finally laid eyes on the prize he felt his length tighten. how fucking pretty you looked, your puffy needy pussy. how wet you are for him. he ran his fingers through your folds, taking some of your slick to bless the camera with.
“you think she’d ever get this wet for you ?” he chuckled, licking the sweetness off his fingers before stationing himself between your thighs.
“oh— fuck, squeezin’ me already,” jay gasped at the tight fit. it was like taking your virginity all over again. your messy cunt swallowed him whole. but that didn’t stop him from destroying it did it. no?
he was ramming into you like no tomorrow, producing deep, harsh strokes as if he wanted to leave you permanently bedridden. you were delirious, unable to form a single thought as you continued to get pounded into relentlessly. you could have sworn missionary was supposed to be a ‘romantic’ position. your soft weeping and moaning was accompanied by the squelching of his length repeatedly entering your tight. one of his arms hooked around your leg while the other laced on your stomach, applying pressure onto your abdomen.
“fuckfuckfuck, baby.. ! i’m so full !” your fingers grabbed and groped at the navy blue sheets. throwing your head back at the symphonies jay made with just your body.
“you full?” he chuckled at your stimulated appearance, looking so fucked out already.
“don’t stop, daddy.. ohmygod..” your eyes roll to the back of your head.
oh he most definitely wasn’t gonna stop, no fucking way was he going to stop. you’re not done until HE says you are.
“stupid tight fucking cunt ...” jay hovered over your body, kissing from your chest up to your jaw. “open your mouth.”
you comply, opening your mouth widely with your tongue out, to receive his own saliva, like the thirsty slut you are. wrapping your legs around his waist so you could feel him deeper inside your tight fit.
“good fucking girl..” “you’re daddy’s dirty little toy” “say it.”
“i’m daddy’s..— mm..” your voice was shaking, the sensation of jay’s lower rubbing against your clit was elating. “dirty little toy..!”
“oh god.. ’m gonna come..” you soon reached your climax, bubbling right at it’s tier, before jay could even speak you coated his thickness in a white dripping mess. “fuck..”
jay quickened his pace, edging himself before quickly retreating himself. climbing over your body, pumping and rubbing his length. his voice getting more pungent with each stroke before he came all over your face.
he reached back rubbing your thighs before leaving your frame to grab his phone, filming your current state. pearly strings of white decorating your hair and your beautiful face. the leftover residue of his semen on your lips and the finger you were currently sucking on, cleaning it of his spill.
“did so good for me, princess..” he praised, rubbing your sides gently, earning a tired hum from you.
“jake, you ought to tell me where you got this bed !” he displayed a mischievous smile to the phone that was still recording.
“mama, wanna go pee for me ? put your clothes back on too..” he pampered you, looking at you with loving eyes as if he wasn’t just shouting at you an hour ago.
“okay..” you stretched, giving jay a quick kiss on the cheek before heading into the bathroom.
“oh, jake, i used one of your condoms by the way, tight fit.” jay whispered before kissing the camera and waving goodbye, ending it once and for all.
๑ ๑ ๑
‘lil bro’
pending...
[ attachment sent ! ]
“he’d probably jerk off to this. fucking perv.” the boy scoffed, slipping his legs through the holes of his sweat pants.
[ seen ]
“oh ? haha.” jay giggled to himself as jake opened the message right away, “babe, you almost done ?”
you come out of the bathroom fully clothed, washed your face, and fixed your hair. “mhm, all set now.” you link arms with your boyfriend who now had an innocent look on his face, resembling nothing like what you saw from earlier.
“alright, let’s go, sweetheart.”
(¯∇¯٥) !!
#jay x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen scenarios#jay smut#enhypen x reader#park jongseong smut#enhypen drabbles#enhypen imagines
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