#i don’t wanna give myself false hope 😔

[grimst4rs]

He likes you ♡

DOES HE????

[ruminate88]

Truth About Narcissists Abuse Survivors

I know for me, I felt so bad about myself after. The way I was discarded by two different men whom I began to trust and believe they had my back, only to find out that they could care less about me. 😔😔😔

Heres a revelation I’ve had today:

When the narcissist is first drawn to you, it feels so random but truly they see something in you they want to have within themselves. They see you for who you really are (even though they wear a false face themselves) They mirror you during the love-bomb phase, so all that incredible “love” you felt, was all you. You have soooo much love in you!! After all, a relationship with a narcissist is one sided!

The narcissist will say to you, “I’m not worthy of your love” and “You deserve better.” They mean it honestly. That’s the one only honest thing you’ll get out of them. They’re actually paying you a compliment even if you don’t feel like it is one.

After I broke up with my ex, Andrew, who couldn’t repay all the love I gave him but he wouldn’t ever break up with me because he didn’t wanna lose all that I was giving him essentially… He said to me, “I thought you had your life all together.” BUT what he didn’t understand, is, I was in survival mode for years. I was busy taking care of everyone around me but me and I was fighting silently to stay in the game of life. I hadn’t given up and I was way stronger than I ever knew. 😳

What my ex said really stunned me. As I thought to myself, “Who really has their life all together?? Isn’t life about learning from your mistakes???”

Also I never realized the compliments my ex was giving me and the reason he treated me so poorly after we broke up was out of envy and his last attempt for control over me. I was his “care taker” for months. I gave him so much of my love and support. I got him through his sophomore year in college but I had neglected all my own needs for his. It was a great relationship, FOR HIM and ONLY HIM! He got to use me, only talked to me when he felt like it, cheated on me and lied to me like crazy, all while I waited at home for him every night, crying with my phone in my hands, begging him to text me and tell me he’s sober and safe…. (I cared soooo much about him)

I don’t regret being with him. He did teach me a lot about my self and how strong I actually am. That man sat with me during a suicide attack and told me how I “wasn’t well” and needed to make serious changes in my life and I needed to get help that “I had issues”. He made me look like I was the bad guy and he was the innocent one. I know he did it out of envy because he lied/cheated knowing I was 100% faithful, loyal and loved ALL of him even his flaws and he couldn’t understand why someone would be that way nor could he even accept it. He certainly couldn’t give me back any love or honesty.

He would continually say to me “you’re the sweetest girl I ever met”. Even when we were breaking up, he kept saying it. Maybe he meant it, maybe he didn’t. 🧐 Yes he treated me horribly but I realize his personality is poor and possibly he came from a toxic environment growing up that I knew nothing about!!! He hid me from his mother the whole relationship and got upset when I found her on Facebook. (There has to be a good reason why he hid me from her)

I hope this encourages anyone out there who’s been discarded, like me, by a narcissist. You’re stronger and more beautiful on the inside than you even realize! I know you feel so bad because you tried so hard to love them and they continuously rejected and neglected you. Just know they actually want to be more like you but feel they literally can’t. 🥺🥺🥺