#i don’t usually remember februaries very well i just zone out and then it’s suddenly march

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

“big birthday coming up what do you want to do-“ rot on the couch. eating sushi. rewatching a movie ive probably watched multiple times before. leave me alone

[lovemesomesurveys]

try to wrap your head around this

All About Your Head! 1. How often do you get headaches? Have you ever experienced migraines? Do you take anything in order to get rid of your headaches? Are there any natural remedies that you have tried and recommend? I get a few a month. Back in high school I used to get tension headaches quite often, which was awful. No, I’ve never experienced migraines. Unfortunately, I can’t take anything for my headaches because 1. I can’t take aspirin. 2. Stuff like Ibuprofen or Aleve don’t do shit for my headaches. 3. Tylenol doesn’t either and I can’t take it anyway because it has acetaminophen, which the pain medication I take regularly also has and too much of that can be damaging for your liver. So, all I can really do is ride them out but a cold washcloth over my eyes does help. And sleep. Peppermint or chamomile tea can help a little sometimes a well. 2. Do you feel as though you have a good head on your shoulders? Not the past few years. I’ve been a complete mess. I don’t know where my head has been. 3. Are you the type of person who overthinks and overanalyzes? Ohhhh yes. 4. Are you a daydreamer? Do you often get lost in your own thoughts and zone out a lot? Yeah. Especially at night. 5. Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? I think my memory is pretty good. I would probably say my long-term is better. I sometimes forget what I wore or watched on TV recently, but I dwell on shit from several years ago. 

6. Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Did you need to have surgery for it? No. 7. Would you say that you are more book-smart or more street-smart? Do you have a lot of common sense? Book smart, I guess. 8. Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? I have major depression and anxiety that I know of for sure and have been diagnosed with. 9. What color is your hair, naturally? Have you ever dyed it before? My hair is naturally dark brown, but I dye it red. 10. What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? It’s currently the longest, it goes down past my butt. The shortest was when I had a “bob” cut. I got a trim last February. 11. Have you ever tried to count all of the hairs on your head before? Uh, no. 12. At what age did you start getting gray hairs, if you happen to have any? I swear it was the exact moment I turned 30. 13. Would you ever shave your head for any specific reason? Only if I had to for medical reasons. 14. What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? All I do is throw it up in a messy bun. I have all this hair and do absolutely nothing with it because I don’t have the motivation or energy to. It would be a lot easier to manage if I just cut it short again, but it took so long to get it this length and part of me still can’t help but think maybe one day I’ll get my shit together and I’ll want to have my long hair if it happens. Sigh. 15. What other words do you typically use in order to describe your head? (ie: brain, skull, noggin, noodle, think-boxer, etc) I usually just say “head”, but I’ve also said each of those except for “think-boxer.” 16. Do you ever experience brain freeze? If so, how long does it typically last for? I haven’t in quite a long time because I don’t drink cold drinks anymore.  Whenever it has happened, though, I don’t recall it lasting very long.  17. When is the last time that you felt light-headed? Have you ever passed out before? I’ve felt that way recently. I think I may have vertigo. :/ No, I’ve never passed out before. 18. Do you feel that you are more of a right-brained person or a left-brained person? I guess left-brained. Not good with numbers, though. 19. Do you feel that you are smart? In what ways? In what ways do you feel dumb, if at all? I feel I’m just very average. 20. Are you capable of doing a headstand? For How long? Nope. 21. When’s the last time you felt like banging your head against a wall? Why? I get in irritable, frustrated moods quite often. 22. Have you ever bit someone’s head off before? When was the last time? Haha my dumbass took this literally and I was like wtf kind of question is this??? As though it’s normal to go around biting people’s head off or something lmao. I get the expression now. Anyway, I don’t lash out or yell at people. I can get short and snippy, but I don’t yell. 23. When was the last time you buried your head in the sand? The past few years, really. 24. When a coin is being flipped, do you usually pick “heads” or  “tails”? Heads. 25. Have you ever fallen head over heels in love? I sure felt that way. 26. When was the last time you couldn’t make heads or tails of something? I can’t make sense of myself or some of the things I’ve been dealing with. 27. Have you ever had to drum something into someone’s head? Yeah. 28. Have you ever dressed from head to toe in only one color? Yeah.  29. Are you the type of person who likes to get a head start on things? I’m a major procrastinator, unfortunately. 30. Are you good at solving puzzles and riddles? Ehh, depends. 31. Are you capable of keeping your head above water? I’ve been drowning. 32. Have you ever given someone a head start in a race before? Has anyone ever give you a head start? Yes and yes. 33. Who was the last person that you weren’t able to get out of your head? It’s been awhile since I’ve experienced that.

34. When was the last time that someone went over your head? There’s stuff that goes over my head sometimes, at least initially and then I’m like, “Ohhh I got it.” 35. When was the last time you headed someone off? I don’t recall. 36. Have you ever given head before? How about received? No and no. 37. Has anyone ever told you that you “hit the nail right on the head”? Yes. 38. When was the last time that you felt like you were in over your head? I’ve felt that way for a long time. 39. Do you feel like your life is headed in the right direction? If not, what can you do to change all of that? No. I’ve felt really lost and unsure these past few years. 40. What was the last thing that you lost your head about? Upset and frustrated about stuff I was dealing with. 41. Do you wear any headbands or bandanas on your head? No. 42. What are your favorite types of hats to wear, if any? Beanies or baseball style caps. 43. Has anyone ever accused you of having a big head before? No. I’m not arrogant or cocky or anything of that sort. I’m certainly not full of myself. 44. Have you ever had to take a head count of people before? For what reason? Yeah, different reasons. 45. Have you ever been headbutted before? I’ve bumped heads (literally) and yeah it’s not fun. Ow. 46. Have you ever had head lice before? When I was a kid.  47. Do you think that it would be interesting be able to read the thoughts of others? Yeah, sometimes. I’d want the ability to be able to turn it on and off, though. 48. Do you ever act on impulse, without thinking? How often? I’m more hesitant and think about stuff first. 49. When was the last time that you experienced a head cold? It’s been a long time. 50. Who is the head of your household? My parents? 51. Have you ever gone down a slide or a flight of stairs head first before? No. 52. Can you be pig-headed or bull-headed at times? I am very stubborn. 53. Do you have an attached or flexible showerhead? I do. 54. Do you often wake up with a bad case of bed head? It’s not too bad. 55. Are you capable of giving answers off the top of your head? I’m the worst. I know I’d absolutely freeze up if I were ever on a game show. I’d suddenly forget everything I ever knew. I’m not good with being put on the spot. 56. When was the last time you experienced a head rush of some sort? I’m not sure. 57. Do you own any bobbleheads? Of who? Yeah, a Chewbacca one. 58. Are you the type of person who plays head games? No. Ugh, I can’t stand that. I’ve known people who do that. 59. Are you an emotional headcase? Yes. 60. When was the last time you laughed your head off? It’s been a long time since I’ve had a really good laugh like that. 61. What was the last thing you had to try to wrap your head around? 2020 was pretty difficult. 62. Do you believe the saying that “two heads are better than one”? Yeah. It can certainly be helpful to have two people thinking and working together to come up with ideas and whatnot. 63. When was the last time you tried to keep your head down? Whenever I go out, I guess. I’m just like ew don’t look at me. 64. What was the last thing that you gave someone a heads up about? I don’t remember. 65. When was the last time you believed something but in reality, it was all just in your head? Hmm.  66. Who is the last person you butted heads with, and why? My dad. We’re a lot alike and we sometimes end up butting heads. 67. Have you ever been called a bonehead before? By who? I don’t think so. 68. Do you have a few screws loose up there in your head? Is there a light in the window but nobody’s home? It sure feels that way. 69. Do you make decisions more with your head or your heart? It depends, but my emotions definitely get the best of me a lot of the time. 70. What are some techniques that you use in order to clear your head? I’m definitely not the one to ask about that. I could use some tips. 71. Do you know anyone who’s a real hot head? Who? Yes. 72. Have you ever had a gun held t your head before, or felt that way? I’ve felt that way, but no I’ve never actually been held at gunpoint.  73. Have you ever had your head examined/scanned by a medical professional before? If so, what sorts of tests were done? No. 74. How often do you walk around with your head in the clouds? My mind does drift and wander a lot. 75. Is your head just filled with all sorts of useless knowledge? My mind is a jumbled mess. 76. Do you worry a lot or have anxiety at all? Yeppp. 77. Have you ever had suicidal thoughts before? Have you ever acted on them before? Yes, but no I’ve never acted on them. 78. Have you eyes ever felt like they were going to pop out of your head? I don’t think so. 79. Who’s head would you like to see on a platter? Uhh, I’m good. 80. When was the last time a lightbulb went off in your head? What was the realization about? Hmm.  81. Is there anything you feel like you could do, standing on your head? No. 82. When’s the last time you put your head in the lion’s mouth? I don’t tend to deliberately place myself in dangerous situations. 83. Where are you headed off to now? I should probably finally drag myself outta bed now... it’s almost 5PM.

[ohsh1t2wksl8]

[beabanana]

originally written on a yellow paper last february this year

it was august of the year 2009 when i realized i’m not that kind of kid who can enjoy outdoors. i was diagnosed with pneumonia. for 3 years during the month of august, i got admitted at the same hospital, with no friends, spends half of my time in a rusty hospital bed, overdosed with a lot of medications and immune to the scent of hospital halls. it was nostalgic, but in a different way. every year, that was the problem. there are times that i just got used to the idea of it. that time of the year had left me scars on my small youthful hands because of needles and drug injections that is being inserted to me. i have to admit, it was hard, sad and of course, lonely. knowing that you cannot do things that other kids enjoy doing, like playing outdoors because my parents restricts me. they have a weak and vulnerable daughter who always needed some guidance and support in order to go on. if they didn’t do that, another huge amount of money will be wasted for my hospital bills that are exhausting to look at. 

i've learned to accept the fact that life of a kid isn’t all about rainbows and unicorns. there are also stormy and sad days. especially my life. throughout my childhood years, i have noticed that i got my introverted personality from my mom and dad. i enjoy keeping myself busy by reading books, watching television, doing board games ‘cause i don’t usually spend my time outdoors with kids near our neighborhood. sometimes, i play and make miniature foods from modeling clay. i want to sell my creations but i don’t have the guts to ask someone to buy clay miniatures from a 10 year old me. i have a wide and broad imagination as a child. sometimes i want to be a doctor, then the other day, i suddenly wanted to become a lawyer. sometimes i want to stop imagining impossible things, but i can’t really help myself thinking about it. 

i was enrolled in a private school during my primary school years, as my parents wanted to make sure i’m being exposed with a decent type of kids. well, they made a wrong decision with that 'cause my pessimistic side just got much worse. hahaha why? almost all of my classmates were very smart and they were my teacher’s favorite. i joined my first fieldtrip ever without a guardian and days later, i got a bad asthma attack and missed a lot of activities at school because of my recovery. i always resented my body, my health, my weird personality and the way i look. my 8 year old self believed that i don’t deserve this kind of life so i worked harder to change that. i was so surprised when the school's honor roll announced and i ranked first in my class. my heart raced, actually. for someone like me who hated my whole life finally received something that i can finally call as an "achievement". i made my parents proud and so do i, to myself. (i even got a store bought barbie doll for it, which made me so happy)

i carried my disease until the end of my primary school years. i have lost a lot of opportunities to be on the school's honors list because this sick body of mine is keeping me away to stay on track. i still remember the days when i had to keep up my studies while in the verge of dying. doing homeworks in hospital beds with a needle stuck on my swollen left hand sucks but i had to be strong because i have dreams and i want to see it fulfilled someday having my parents to live a luxurious life using the money i'll earn and of course, to use for their everyday expenses. i have such a high hopes as a kid.

because of the anxiety that i bear since birth, i had problems dealing with my classmates, teachers and the people around me at school. i don't even know how to speak in front of the class. i'm trying my very best to get my missed grades back by giving a huge effort doing written works, but it's still not enough. i knew all these years that i needed to make an exit to my shy and elusive stage of life. i tried actually. numerous times, it's also written on an apple scented notebook i own as a child, but i still go back to school without any progress.

i'm also a huge hater of procrastination, and also a fan of it at the same time. i keep cramming when the deadline is like, 3 hours away. that's why i ended up doing my projects ugly and passing it to my teachers with the pages sticking together because of the wet glue. i guess that's just one of the best talents i have. and i can say that i'm really good at it. cramming is my worst enemy 'cause when i cram, my mental breakdown button is automatically turning on. i cry, i don't eat, ending up not finishing all my works.

one of the hardest obstacle i have faced in my life is, as a family, we always move city by city, depending on my father's call of work. the people i consider as my "friends" are slowly being drifted away from me and i'm having a hard time making new ones. there was also a time where i locked myself up in a room because i can't accept the changes in the environment. i just cry and cry and cry until i fell asleep. i've dealt with that problem for 6 years and that's when i realized that my childhood was really messed up.

looking back at my childhood years was a lot because those years had been a roller coaster ride for me. but i'm still thankful 'cause i've learned a lot. being a pessimist has made me realize that staying this way will not help me in the future. so i set aside all the fears and little by little, i've noticed that it's now okay for me to have a bad days because it's normal if you're a human. i tried stepping out of my comfort zone and now, i can speak in front of many people without being shy and shaky because i kept accepting offers in terms of leading and speaking at school. and i know that this will further improve through the years. i guess i'll just trust time.

my family are very religious. they always have their trust in our lord god and since when i was a baby, they have prayed for the cure of my sickness. we didn't rely that much to the doctors prescriptions and medications and besides, we don't have that huge amount of money for my maintenance, but they have done everything just to make my disease go away. that's when i fully understand why they're locking me up indoors as a child. because they believed that i will be free from any sickness someday. they just don't want to make everything worse for the sake of my happy childhood, because they worry about my future. we prayed and prayed, we relied on what god can do, we praised him and used our time and effort to worship him. i was losing hope, but then he lift me up. who am i now? a very normal 18 year old teenager and a senior high school student, living a very normal and happy life, free from any disease.

what am i today is because of the work of our almighty god. i believe that all those struggles that i am facing today will soon come to an end when you have trust in him. that's why i always put god first before everything else. chooses worship services over school and leaving my class if there's a "tupad". all the prayers that i'm looking forward back then is in my hands now and i truly believe that all i am praying for today will be fulfilled in the near future. yes, i am not strong. i grew up as weak and vulnerable. but now that i am with god, no storms and sickness will stop me from worshipping him. i have learned how to put my whole trust to whatever happens in my life. he is the answer to all of my weaknesses, he is my life.

[mantezygelytesf]

Nienke Huitenga workshop / 04.11.2019

task #1 - express emotion (in this case - angry) without mentioning the actual word

The entrance door opened. I knew it was mom who came back home. The way she walks into the house makes me always distinguish that it is her. She took of her heels, put them on the floor and went into the kitchen.  

“Billy, come down to the kitchen immediately,” she shouted from the first floor.

I knew that I was in trouble but I couldn’t remember what exactly I have done. I quickly went down.

“Billy, how many times do I have to repeat to clean your dishes after you finish eating?” she exclaimed.

“I am sorry,” I responded and started washing my dirty dishes.

task #2 - reveal relationship between cat and dog 

The cat sat on the dog’s mat. She knew she was in trouble but she was ready to admit the mistake. The dog’s mat was all teared up and the room was very messy because of her actions. Suddenly, the dog came in and started barking, “What have you done? You have your own mat and you ruined mine! Where will I rest tonight?”

task #3 - based on obstacales and main statement that I come up with 

statement – physical reconnection with each other will become more valuable and precious obstacles – emergency, distance (physical or not), distractions (technology, other people, work, entertainment)

It was 6 pm. Our usual time for family dinner. Jack has prepared vegetable lasagna and I made some salad with fresh tomatoes from our garden. The kids were still playing outside while we were putting all the dishes on the dining table. 

“Kids, dinner is ready”, I shouted out.

“Coming”, Abby responded back and together with Mary, they ran in to the kitchen. We all sat down.

I really enjoyed dinner time with my loved ones. Each one of us would talk about their day, both good and bad moments. I loved sharing but also listening to my daughters about their day. It was so refreshing to listen to how the child sees the world, so different from us, adults.

“Can you imagine? Today with the class we went to the firefighter’s station. The trucks are so huge. They fit 1000 gallons of water and people from the work are so…” Mary couldn’t finish her sentence because Jack’s phone rang. I gave him a cold look and he knew what I meant.

“I am sorry. I will have to excuse myself form the table”. He stood up and left the kitchen. All 3 of us followed him with the eyes.

continuation of task #3 with in depth focus on emotion, place, feeling and etc. (depth focus in italics)

“We arrived.” I said to the kids who were zoned in into their devices but I don’t think they heard me from the first time.

I repeated, “We arrived. Our favorite Italian restaurant.”

Mary looked at the front mirror and I understood that she was with me. “Abby?”

She nodded, meaning she heard me as well.

“Girls, you know how it works here. We take the devices inside, give them to the waitress, so we could all enjoy our time together while having great food, right?”

Girls lightly nodded.

We went inside.

“Welcome to ‘Small Italy’. Would you like to sit in the device free zone or in regular zone?”, waitress asked.

“Device free zone and we would like to give you our devices.”

“Oh, I am really sorry, device free zone is fully booked right now but you could still go to our regular zone and give us your devices.”

I hesitate. My girls and I spent the whole day today on our devices, working and studying. This is one of those few moments, where we can really be together, talk without any distractions and learn more about each other. Sometimes, I get tired of all of this. This whole dependence on technology to strive in this world, to succeed, to achieve something. Back in the days it was easier. Easier in a sense that you had a choice. You had a choice to include technology in some ways, but not all the time as it is now. I miss old days, but my girls never experienced this life with choice. They know this choice existed. How do they know? Yes, you are right. With the help of devices.  

Nienke’s comments: the division of the restaurant in device free zone and the regular zone is like non-smoking and smoking zone in the restaurants  

task #4 - write with change of seasons in mind with reoccurring element 

february

I like the end of the winter, where cold weather starts to go away because that is when I start to see the change. Usually, winter is when kids spend most of their time on the devices. The weather is too cold, so they can’t go out as much and everyone gets into their own life bubble that is hard to tear apart. I always wait for winter to end to see the upcoming change.

april

month when we usually do our first road trip of the year. Jack and I always pick a location in nature. Maybe there is a forest or lake or mountains in the area, so we can all do some activities together and spend time after being disconnected after a long and harsh winter.

july

Summer. I never want it to end. Why, you may ask? Because that is when I see my children the happiest, running outside all day, playing with friends, having sleepovers in the backyard’s tree house and just enjoying the sunlight.

october

the weather is slowly changing, each day is getting colder, meaning my kids and I are closing off from each other. I start missing the feeling of summer and the happy sunny days.

Nienke’s comments: switch to other roles (sister, outsider, grandma, etc.) to not feel limited, also can be from a perspective of a growing up person because everyone experiences that

[sam-rose-granger-blog]

Domino

It was a cold February day, late in the evening. For once she had decided to scope out a Masquerade Charity event, a museum memorial for the veterans of World War 1 and 2, funded by Bruce Wayne. She made her way around the room, not staying to mingle with any single person long enough for them to remember her. Not that they would, the only thing you really noticed about her were her eyes, Blue as the Circassian sea, which were currently veiled by a gorgeous black, white and red mask.

Hence, Masquerade.

She currently stood with Bruce Wayne himself in a secluded little corner of the room, going over the Charity benefactors for the evening. She herself put in a gracious amount of money for the event, not that anyone knew that. She usually just dropped off the cheque and didn’t show up to the actual event. She didn’t know why tonight was different, she didn’t know why she decided to come. She told herself that the mask over her eyes kept her hidden, though that did nothing to calm her nerves.

“So, what made you decide to attend these events for once?” he asked her, sipping his Scotch on the Rocks. Domino almost spat her own drink back up at his comment, giving a few coughs to get her heart and breathing under control.

“W-what do you mean?” She asked, rubbing her throat, making him chuckle softly.

“You think I haven’t realised that there is always one benefactor on the list that doesn’t show up, and I’ve seen everyone else here before, except you. And believe me, I’d never forget your eyes.” He deducted, victory already in his own. She smiled at him slightly, shaking her head a bit and taking a sip of her drink.

“Well done, Sherlock,” he laughed lightly at her remark, “And I will say something, Mister Wayne, something I do not say to very many people, you impress me.”

“Oh?” he remarked with a raise eyebrow.

“Yes, I have spoken with every occupant in this room tonight” she smiled at him and swept her hand across the room, “and none have learnt even half as much as you have, none know more than you do, which I will add, isn’t all that much.”

“Well, maybe you’ll give me the opportunity to learn more?” He asked flirtatiously, to which she sent him a fox-like smile, leaving him hanging in mid-air.

As they conversed, the glass ceiling suddenly gave way with a big bang, shards flying everywhere, blasting them both backwards onto the ground. Bruce Wayne’s immediate respond was to shield her as the fragments cascaded and screams began to ring.

She looked around for the source of the explosion that cause the roof to collapse, when her head was tugged sharply to the side. She looked to see Bruce Wayne checking her for any injuries.

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked her hurriedly. ‘Where’s he got to go,’ she thought to herself, before noticing the large glass shard embedded in her thigh, almost a hand spans width, though he hadn't seemed to realise, so she simply gave him a slow nod, opting to deal with it herself, watching his eyes skimming the room for any other casualties or fatalities.

She gave a confused glance as he hurriedly ran away, down a corridor to her left. Weird, she thought, before she resumed focus on her leg. She didn’t want to just pull it out, that would cause even more damage if she ruptured a nerve or the likes, plus, at this moment, the glass was trapping most of the blood inside, and as much as it hurt, it wouldn’t hurt as much as dying of blood loss.

Her focus was shifted from her leg when maniacal laughter filled the room. She looked up quickly to see several people descending from the shattered ceiling on ropes, all sporting ridiculous outfits, panda suits and clown masks.

And in that moment, she knew who had crashed the party.

         Fear shook her as she shuffled backwards into a corner behind a large potted plant, doing this in a manner that was most-likely damaging her leg further, though Domino did not particularly care.

The Joker was here.

He was here.

Oh shit, I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. I am going to die!

Her heart began racing a mile a minute and she wasn’t sure whether it was the growing blood loss or something else but her vision became increasingly blurry.

She never wanted to feel scared like this again, isn’t that why she started doing all this? To let go of her fear? Of her Past? Well, it was the plan at least…

Okay, it’s okay, just stay cool. It’s okay. It’s just a robbery. You’re okay, you’re okay, she told herself this repeatedly until her heart stopped pounding like the drums and she was able to at least partly focus on the situation again.

He’s not here for you.

She zoned back in just as the green haired, Clown Prince of crime himself descended down and began a round of the room, watching as his goons stole people’s jewellery and wallets, and this gave her the sense that no one was going to die. Maybe.

She tucked her legs in around her side so as to stay hidden, making sure not to upset the wound, which was beginning to swell and redden at an alarming rate.

She put her hands on either side of the glass and pushed them together, trying to stop the blood flow. She grit her teeth as she felt her skin cut even further and the immediate area around the injury begin to go numb.

She widened her eyes at the sudden white-hot, excruciating pain coursing through her body, as her eyes began to water and her head pounded. Her leg had begun trying to mend itself, with the glass shard still embedded in it. Her enhanced healing was trying to close the wound, and was trying to move the shard away from the injury, and to do that, her body was trying to pull the shard inside.

And it hurt.

She bit her lip, likely drawing blood and pressed her head against the wall behind her, holding her eyes closed to keep from screaming out in pure agony.

“My, that must hurt, darling.” A sultry voice called to her, she opened her eyes suddenly to see the famous Trickster himself mere inches from her face. He was crouching before her with a mischievous smirk on his face, his gaze like a predatory Lion.

He looked dangerous, but she was in too much pain to be as wary as she would normally be. In fact, all she could do was grunt and screw her eyes closed again as she felt the glass pulled in another centimetre. She felt tears stream down her face as her skin tore and the blood poured out.

The Joker tilted his head with a small pout as he watched her movements, “That doesn’t look particularly comfortable, love. Here, let me get that.” He said and not a second later, he had gripped the glass and pulled the shard clean out.

In that mere second, she all but screamed. Her head hung low, basically resting on his shoulder as she dealt laboured breathes.

“Oh, there, there,” The Joker comforted her, though anyone could see he was slightly enjoying her pain, but still he drew soft circles on her back as she used her hands to desperately keep the blood in.

Once he noticed her struggling, he sighed and somehow found it in him to give her the handkerchief from his signature purple suede jacket. She stared at him in shock as he held it in front of her. He was trying to help her? Why? What did he want in return? She thought in confusion. She didn’t notice that he began to get annoyed.

“Well, don’t just stare at it,” he snapped in irritation, “Unless you want to bleed out in a matter of minutes?” her mind snapped back into focus as she decided she’d pay the price for not dying as she tentatively took the scrap of cloth and held it firmly against her injury.

As she concentrated, she didn’t notice him staring at her intently. He was studying her, everything from the deep blue of her eyes to the scar lines, cleverly concealed by make-up but still visible to the knowing eye, on her hands, upper-arms and what could be seen of her legs.

He wondered where she got these marks. Was she in an abusive relationship? Was it some kind of accident? Was it childhood trauma? I mean, he could relate there. Not that he would tell anyone that. But, he didn’t know, there was just something about her, that made him want to comfort her and to empathise.

And the Joker didn’t like that.

She looked up and into his eyes, his eyes almost as green as his hair, they seemed to almost reflect the madness within, almost. But she also saw something else, something she never thought she would see from the Cold, Merciless, Clown Prince of Crime.

Worry.

It was masked and it was faint, but it was definitely there. He was worried about her, and she knew this with certainty because she was excellent at reading people, it was kind of required in her line of work.

Now, make no mistake, she wasn’t another delusional Harley Quinn, who was under some illusion that the Joker loves her, no matter what he does to prove her wrong. She didn’t think that the Joker was her ‘dream guy’ and that they shared some ‘mystical connection’, just because he gave her a bloody handkerchief.

         She was so lost in thought that she didn’t realise he had used his hands to cup her face, and her eyes snapped back to his suddenly, quickly growing worried, scared he was going to hurt her. On any other day, she could probably take him, or at least be able to get away, but she didn’t trust her fighting ability right now, not when she was like this.

         His eyes raked her face as he softly thumbed the soft corner of her mask, and as if finally reaching a decision, looped his thumbs, under the corners, intending to pull it off. Her breathe caught in her throat, she did not want the Joker, of all people, to see her face, she would never be able to continue her work if he knew her face.

But fortunately, he was interrupted.

         “Boss,” one of his minions called to him, as the Joker steeled his gaze in annoyance.

         “What?” he called back sharply, not liking being interrupted.

         “Batman’s on his way,” the goon told him, making Joker turn to the shattered ceiling and to the Bat symbol, high in the sky, bringing a slight smile to the Joker’s face. Time with Batman was always his favourite.

         He turned his attention back to the girl in front of her, realising he didn’t have enough time if he didn’t want to go back to Arkham tonight. He sighed deeply and removed his hands from her face and pat down her matted hair once. He cocked his head to the side, making sure he would remember her face. He intended to see her again. Plus, he wanted his handkerchief back at some point, that thing was custom made, and diamond encrusted.

         You’d would assume he’d want it back.

         He smirked and stood up, patting her on the head slightly, going off with a little, “Until next time, doll.” And walked to his goons as they all went down the same corridor Bruce had disappeared down and… Oh shit, Bruce!

         She had completely forgotten about him once the Joker had shown up, but, come on, she was bleeding out and scared for her life. Sorry, but Bruce wasn’t really her priority in that moment.

         But still, she worried, if he ran into the Joker, well, money can buy many people, but the Joker wasn’t one of them.

         Her thoughts were interrupted yet again, by two figures ziplining through the ceiling, and on closer inspection, she realised the two figures were Batman and the latest Robin. How many were there now, 3? 4? Oh, whose keeping count anyway?

         She watched as they did a quick round of the room, checking for any casualties or fatalities, before Batman’s eyes settled on her. She swore you could’ve heard a pin drop in the second his eyes rested on her, before he looked away and in a gruff voice conversed something to Robin, too softly for her overwhelmed mind to comprehend.

         She stared as the Robin nodded, though he seemed rather reluctant and annoyed, and proceed to go around the room while Batman took off after the Joker. She felt exhaustion hit like a tidal wave once the both of them were gone, her mind finally realising she was okay, maybe not safe, but okay at the very least. She leant back against the wall and let a sigh escape her lips.

I am never coming to another one of these stupid things again, she thought to herself with a chuckle.

         “Do you need help, Miss?” she opened her eyes to see the newest Robin in front of her, eyeing the glass shard, caked in blood to her left and the injury on her leg, which was now only a remarkably smaller bleeding hurt.

She chuckled a little and gazed up at him, completely ignoring his question and changing the subject. “So, how long you been Robin for?” The question threw him off guard and into stunned silence, inclining her to continue speaking.

         “I mean it couldn’t have been that long, because the Red Robin has only recently come out, ‘bout a month or two ago if memory serves me correctly.” And still he said nothing, because she was right, he had only been Robin for a month and a half, and Reb Robin had only come out under that name two months ago. But how did this woman know that.

His eyes hardened as she smirked tiredly at his reaction. He opened his mouth to start grilling her for answers, when the Dark Knight appeared behind his shoulder, a steeled look in his eyes.

         “The Joker’s gone. We have to go track him down and throw him back in Arkham.”

         She rolled her eyes and remarked quietly, “- For how long? -” But still she gained both vigilante’s attention. She gave them a look and asked blatantly, “What? Oh, don’t give me that look Batsy, you know I’m right-” she held her hand out for him to help her up, which he did. She gingerly put pressure on her leg while she continued nonchalantly, “-No Asylum can hold the Joker forever, if you don’t kill him, he’ll just keep coming back.”

         “We don’t kill peop-” he began gruffly, before she cut him off.

         “Yeah, yeah I know. ‘We don’t kill’. ‘Justice, not vengeance’, but try telling ‘Justice, not vengeance’ to the families of the people the Joker has killed and tortured and scarred.  Why let him live, when you could easily kill one psychopathic person and save a thousand innocent more, while giving closure to those who have already lost someone at his hands.” Both members of the Dynamic Duo stared at her in astonishment, while Batman simply replied again.

         “We do not kill people.”

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders, “Yeah, I get that, you have a moral compass. Maybe I’m just lacking that pesky thing, but still, I think your logic is seriously flawed, mate.” She walked past them while clasping Batman on the shoulder and gently ruffling Robin’s hair, causing him to huff indignantly and straighten it while she smiled at him sweetly.

She adored children. Even if the fourth instalment of Robin was anything but a child.

         “Any who, this was fun,” she said over her shoulder as she removed the high heels from her aching feet, “But let’s not do it on a regular basis, M’kay? There are many people who would be hella pissed if I died, so on that note, ciao.”

She waved them good bye and left the building, imputing a few things into her phone as a sleek black Maserati pulled up amongst the paramedics and police, and strangely, no one stopped her as she drove away.

Batman and Robin stayed in silence for a few moments, when Robin spoke lowly, “She has a point, you know.”

Batman glared at the floor in annoyance, before shaking it off and walking towards the Batmobile, “While that may be, we can discuss this later, but right now we’re losing time.” The pair got in the car and drove off in pursuit of the Joker.

 Meanwhile, Domino was looking out the window at the night-lit city she loved, replaying the evening’s occurrences over in her mind. She had met Batman and the Joker and Robin, as herself, all in one night. Not to say that this was the first time she had met either of the two, for she was more than what she seemed, but, that’s a story for another time.

She carefully removed the mask from her face, putting her full features on display. She looked the intricate lace over in her hands, two halves, one black, one white, both intertwined with red. It represented her.

The good, the bad, and the deadly.

“Are you all right, ma’am? I raced over once I heard what had happened. Thankfully, no officers where around to fine me for drastically breaking the speed limits.” Her chauffer/ butler/ Legal guardian/ permanent residential at her mansion/ general employee and loved friend, inquired worriedly, putting a joke in at the end to ease her mind. Looking back at her in the review mirror, he noticed the faraway look in her eyes.

She laughed slightly, and looked up at him, smiling, a beautiful, sweet smile he adored, “I’m fine, Will,” he sighed in relief, while she continued, “Just remind me to go armed next time one of these events are on, if I ever work up the nerve to go to one of these events again that is.”

He laughed happily, and assured, “Will do, ma’am, will do.”

 To be Continued…

If i feel like it.

[nikasen]

[Translation] Wink Up June 2017 - やまけとの歩み

Wink Up June 2017: やまけとの歩み Never knew that it will be this long! I take a longer time because of my hectic work. I think I used up all my brain cells to finish this. Anyway I’m trying my best to translate. In case you did found any mistake please tell me so that i can improve my translation. Thank you!

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No records on year 2006-2007

Year 2008: Be in the same group and become best friends.

Keito’s goal is “To be able to dance as cool as Yamada” Okamoto : I received a big mirror as Christmas present. I want to dance as cool as Yamada so I’m going to use this mirror a lot during practice. (March 2008 issue)

Among JUMP member, which one is the father and the mother? Yamada: The father would be Keito! He is the most calm among the member. Isn’t weird for a junior high school student would be this calm? Everyone are making lots of noise, but he will be quietly reading his English novel alone. This is no other like a father isn’t? But sometimes, there are times where this thing is broken. That time I realised that “Keito is actually a junior high school student” (laugh) (April 2008 issue)

Year 2009: Just notice our same age on 2nd year of group formation.

More stories about Yamada revealed during MC Nakajima: Because of the tense, there will be separate MC and it’s getting difficult isn’t. In this MC will Keito working hard? Yamada: But he’ll just talk about useless thing. Nakajima: So Keito has lots of stories about Yamada. Based on how he looks at Yamada, he is showing the look like “I’m going to tell something about him”. That’s looks interesting (laugh). Okamoto: “Yamada put his finger in the electric fan” are one of my first stories. Yamada: Wait, why would you say that here? (Laugh). The fans would be worried. I didn’t injured myself so everyone please do not worry. Everyone please don’t try this at home. Okamoto: And Yamachan, recently he’s frequently punching me.. Yamada: Keito, he’s recently getting used with my punch so it’s getting boring. So I’ll tell you, I only let out 50% of my energy. And looks like Keito’s level are getting up, so from now I’ll increasing my energy to 60..70% (October 2009 issue)

******

Yamada: By the way Keito, you are in wich grade now? Okamoto: High 2 Yamada: Eh, that’s the same as me?! I thought you are one year higher. Are you kidding me~~~ Everyone: Eh, after such long time (laugh)? Yamada: I thought Keito is the same age as me! Arioka: Isn’t good? Your knowledge has increased! Yamada: So it’s ok for me to start judging him? Our age gap is near! And he always touching his arm, summer’s weather must be humid for him (laugh)! Nakajima: I get it! Keito even with anyone the distance between them are so near! When the staff talk to him, they need to step back behind a bit. Okamoto: I have low voice , so everytime when I talk to other people, they will say “eh?”, so I thought it would be better if I talk to them more closely… (November 2009 issue)

Year 2010: Begin to spend lots of time together even in private.

Keito crying when he can’t reach the meeting place

From Keito’s no 1 subject…. Yamada: He’s no 1 cry baby. Okamoto: I’m not! Yamada: You cried the other day! Me, Daichan, Chinen and Keito had a meeting the other day, but he’s getting lost and he cried. Okamoto: it’s not like that! If you’re not describing the location to me properly, I will getting lost like a kindergarten child (laugh). I couldn’t find the location you described to me and wondered around in hurry. I have made everyone waiting for me. And i thought that i have trouble everyone. Nakajima: Keito is surprisingly nice. Look! You can cry now. It’s ok now! So start crying! Okamoto: I don’t feel like crying. But those kind words you told me, you will make me crying like an elementary school kid so stop it. Nakajima: AHAHAHA! Is it not good? (Laugh) Yamada: We are surprised too, so we asked him “why are you crying?”

Year 2011: Surprised at Keito’s new side

Jealousy towards gentleman’s side of Keito?!

Chinen: If everyone had a girlfriend, how would you show your feelings in front of her? Nakajima: Keito is a gentleman so he seems like will be nice to all the girls (laugh). Chinen: I get it, he looks like will listen to anything his girlfriend say. Like a butler? Keito: What did you say a butler (laugh)! It’s like devoted type, this is a better way to say it! Chinen: And then he will go “I’ll do anything for you, you should do the same thing to me too” and then that relationship happens. Okamoto: Isn’t such thing is expected at the end? Yamada: Keito, I will not forgive you if you’re meddling with my girlfriend! Even if you’re just being usually kind, i will not forgive you! Nakajima: Me too! I will beat you with my drum sticks! (laugh) Okamoto: Since all of us doesn’t have girlfriend, so that’s not threatening me (laugh). And Yuto, now you are holding your drum sticks for real (laugh). But let me say it, in my eyes, I only see the girl that I like so such things you say wouldn’t happen (March 2011).

Q. In Junior days, being as back dancers in which concerts that was fun? Chinen: About this, Keito doesn’t have any experience as back dancers. Yamada: Seriously?! Okamoto: ah that’s right~ As for me, the very first choreographer I remembered was (Hey! Say!) Yamada: isn’t rather recent? (Laugh). Being as the Senior’s back dancer, we can take part in the tour and it was fun. Chinen: Right! It’s a little bit pity if you are not be able to experience that. To be honest I only experienced it once. Yamada: Eh really?! Chinen: Yeah, I’m only being as the back dancers for NEWS but for tour only for KAT-TUN Nakajima: Me and Yamachan have pretty much experience. Yamada: Yosh Keito! Even now it’s still not too late. You can go being a back dancer! Okamoto: Eh, for Sexy Zone? (Laugh). Yamada: AHAHAHA! That’s good! Senpai as Kouhai back dancer! (Laugh). I’m going to watch it Okamoto: If you say that it would be good there then I would be glad to do it (December 2011 issue)

Year 2012: Keito begin to be in love with Yamada

Yamada showing his tsundere side

Yabu: On『JUMP’s recently』talk’s theme, according to the staff’s information, Inoochan’s team talks about “Recently, Keito is madly in love with Yamada” and the evidence seems increased. Okamoto: Wait, what’s with that? (Laugh) Yabu: When Keito talks with Yamada, no matter who calls your name, you won’t hear it… Yamada & Okamoto: AHAHAHAHA! Yamada: I’m also aware of that a little. This current Keito, his approach become more great. Yabu: Even in the other day magazine interview, “Who become more mature? it’s Yamada” he talk about it enthusiastically (laugh). Both of you are really getting along very well Yamada: That’s right. We hangout quite often. Okamoto: Also, occasionally we will wear similar clothes. Because we have similar preference in clothes, we tend to buy similar kinds of clothing (June 2012 issue)

Yamada: When we went to watch (PLAYZONE) together, Keito’s tension is too high. He’s become troublesome mode’s person. Okamoto: It was a continuous holiday, when I know i can meet the members after so long I become too happy. Nakajima: Ah~ because you love Yamachan right (laugh). Okamoto: But he’s ignoring me. “Oo Yamachan, it’s been a while” when I said it with the such maximum tension, I’m showing troublesome like face. I’m shock. Yamada: If it’s for one time I would be happy. But it has been many times over and over again. Normally I won’t say that it’s annoying. I didn’t mean to follow but Keito at the hotel area or in the same room as me, he is actually an easy going person Okamoto: seriously?! Yess! (October 2012 issue)

Year 2013: Yamada usual strictness towards Keito (laugh)

Keito is chosen as his member’s mutual affection. Yamada: I told you before this talk begins. Keito! I’m going to buy that yellow sweater you are wearing for our costume today, so you don’t make it dirty! Even one drop of sweat I won’t forgive you! Okamoto : Ok.. but with that so much pressure it will cause me to sweat a lot (laugh). Nakajima: Which part of the sweater is your favourite point? Yamada: The colour and the texture? Roughly because I feel that I like it. Okamoto : And the most important reason more than anything else is “because I wear it”. Yamada: Shut up! I’m going to wash it immediately as soon as I get back home! (laugh) Everyone, did you buy the clothes that you like? Are you are the type who goes shopping and buy it? (June 2013 issue)

Q: Stunned! an episode of mutual affection with members. Yamada: The other day after we appear in a music program, one of the co-star song keep lingering in my head. I’m humming the song in my head but at the moment we get off from our transport, suddenly I sing that one phrase out loud. And then exactly at the same time Keito also sing that phrase too! That coincidence isn’t amazing? Like we only listen to that song once but it keeps lingering in our head for all day long. As for myself it’s like JUMP’s song BOUNCE. And the part “Everybody、JUMP” is the only part that keep playing over and over again (laugh) (September 2013 issue)

Year 2014: Talking about loving each other on 7’s meeting

Yamada at private revealed!

Okamoto: I usually hangout with Yamachan. The Yamachan I met in private, his character is different from the Yamachan I met in JUMP. With JUMP, as usual everyone will tease me. But in private he didn’t do such things, he’s completely a normal person. He’s not that straight and he will listen to all my stories. He’s totally have different look (laugh) (February 2014 issue)

LOVE message to lovable Okamoto Keito! Yamada: At 7’s meeting, Keito suddenly said to me [You know, I like Yamachan a lot! At the concert I’m always thinking “Sometimes I want to become aa” while watching you]. I’m almost about to cry (laugh). He is totally honest as he can say such thing straightforwardly. I like that side of Keito! (March 2014 issue)

Year 2015: Yamachine affirmed that Keito always being clumsy

Unintentionally teasing him

If Yamada would spoiled you immediately what you want him to do? Keito: I would like to change our role for 1 day. Today too, as soon as I enter my workplace he asked , “Did you bring Weekly Shonen Jump today?” and when I told him “I didn’t buy it” he said “Go buy it!”. And then, the manager bought it for me and when I thought i’m going to read it, he said “stop it that’s mine”. I also like to do that but if a person who doesn’t know anything saw this, I’m completely running errand for him. That’s why I want to change our role for only 1 day so that I can try to say “Go buy JUMP” or “taste this thing” (laugh) (June 2015 issue)

Yamada: Keito is basically clueless. (Chinen who is nearby also agreed “He is getting clueless, he looks like he’s off guard). He is easily get punched, kicked or attacked by me (laugh). And his reaction when I hit him was “it hurts~” but he said it with a calm tone. Then I will said “It’s hurt isn’t? Let me make it more hurt” (laugh). The way he did that makes me feel to tease him. He is cute isn’t? Because he’s just cute, I’ll unintentionally teasing him. I had never received any payback from Keito. So if he’s going to do that to me, I’ll pay him back double (laugh) (December 2015 issue)

Year 2016: Good friends story talking about same episodes

Discover Keito through the GPS and play darts at Yamada’s house.

An episode where you realised all over again of the importance of member’s love. Yamada: on the day I finished filming drama early, there’s something I wanted to do with Keito. So when I look at my GPS, I saw him nearby my house. I thought “This is the chance!”. I told him “Sorry, there is something I want you to do, come over for a moment!”. We sit at the veranda there and had a cup of tea. Then I let him go home (laugh). We played darts at my house, talk about the darts. He’s not choosy about the tea so I bring out cold oolong tea (laugh).

Keito: About 3 days ago, I went to Yamachan house for a while. I happened to be near his house when he suddenly called and ask to have a tea with him. He really served the tea and since he has dart board we played for about 15 minutes and then I went home (laugh). Recently I had not seen him in private so I haven’t go to his house for quite sometime.

P/s: i will re-edit again. I leave this here for a while