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calimanc · 5 months ago

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POANG Pals Secret Valentines 2025 Fic Recs

Happy Valentine's Day to the wonderful @sagan-starstuff! Here are 14 Valentine's fics from throughout the ages. Some smutty, some fluffy, some to sink your teeth into. I hope you've had an amazing day and that you enjoy these fics!

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Smutty smutty smut. They’re on a case with Skinner and Kersh, keeping their relationship a secret and Mulder can’t stop talking dirty.

Title: Be my valentine, Scully?

Author: Katy_KT_Katie, @katy-kt-katie

Summary: Just a short un-beta'ed fic for your Valentine's Day!

Length: 3,671

Classification: MSR, smut

Rating: E

Spoilers:

Favorite line: ��Don’t moan, Scully. No fraternizing . You know the rules,” he said playfully.

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While Mulder is still in hiding, Scully goes to do some training out of state. She’s away over Valentine’s Day.

Title: Heaven Scent

Author: admiralty, @admiralty-xfd

Summary: Scully is away, and missing Mulder. (Also, he smells like heaven, but we all knew that.)

Length: 4,888

Classification: MSR, pining

Rating: PG

Spoilers: pre-IWTB

Favorite line: She lifted the shirt to her face, breathing him in, remembering another night when she did the same and felt only hopelessness and loss. This time, she knew exactly where he was. He was only a thousand miles away, here on earth, thinking about her, too.

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We hate Diana, but we love seeing her thwarted.

Title: Cancelled Plans

Author: ScullyLovesQueequeg, @suitablyaggrieved

Summary: Diana Fowley asks Mulder out on a date.

Length: 4,597

Classification: MSR, Jealous Scully

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Post FTF, Diana is there

Favorite line: Mulder turned partway to face her and gave Scully one of his wry smiles. Since Antarctica, the smiles came so easy.

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Short and sweet fluff, Mulder embracing celebrating the holiday more than Scully.

Title: Love is in the Air

Author: mldrgrl, @mldrgrl

Summary: Just a bit of Valentine's Day fluff set in season 7

Length: 771

Classification: MSR, fluff

Rating: G

Spoilers:

Favorite line: “But, it’s got Snoopy on it and everything. I think he’s holding up a little sign that says ‘Be Mine’ or something like that.”

“Shut up and kiss me, you idiot.”

“No, that’s not what it says.”

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A pair of fics that are very hot and very satisfying, each in their own way.

Title: Impatient and Intent

Author: Beduini

Summary: Impatient: Sometimes you just can't wait. Season 6 Valentine’s day smut. Intent: A companion piece to Intent. What constitutes a fantasy?

Length: 1,621 and 1,515

Classification: MSR

Rating: E

Spoilers:

Favorite line: Impatient: Her blue eyes flashed and a smile of pleasure broke out across her face as she ducked her head, trying to hide behind the wave of hair that was now too short to cover her face.

Intent: "Scully..." spoken as if all of the secrets of the universe could be housed in one name.

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This is one to sit with and enjoy, like a glass of good wine. Lying together in bed, Mulder thinks about his life and his relationship with Scully. It’s not fluff but that good MSR is present and correct.

Title: Sedimentation

Author: Maria Nicole

Summary: Musings on the edge of sleep

Length: 2,302

Classification: MSR

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Orison, Fire

Favorite line: He and Scully will have to muddle through this on their own; maybe every so often she can deliver a State of the Partnership address, Scully in her glasses standing behind a podium telling him that their teamwork skills are good but their communication skills need work and Jesus, Mulder, she'd come to his room with wine and cheese and what had he thought she'd meant?

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We are truly indebted to @lilydalexf for her rec of this otherwise impossible (?) to find fic. It is short and sweet and it is also tremendous. I love everything about it and somehow the thing I love the most is him calling her disgusting at the very end (to be fair, she is being disgusting).

Title: it could be sweet

Author: wen

Summary: MSR valentines day no redeeming value fluff fluff fluff.

Length: 1,541

Classification: MSR, fluff

Rating: Not rated

Spoilers:

Favorite line: She adored this gentleness about him and let him kiss her, very long and very soft, his mouth and tongue tasting of very rich dark chocolate and marshmallows.

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Sweet little fic from the olden days with a guest star.

Title: My Funny Valentine

Author: Britt Mulder

Summary: Scully has a secret admirer.

Length: 1,646

Classification: MSR

Rating: PG

Spoilers:

Favorite line: She began to pepper kisses below his ear. Mulder didn't know why he was getting all this attention, but liked it.

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A more recent entry, there’s misunderstanding, there’s jealousy, there’s dopey adoration.

Title: Stupid Cupid

Author: mulderwearingglasses, @mulderwearingglasses

Summary: When a work emergency prompts the FBI to call in their best and brightest on Valentine's Day evening, Mulder shows up in a tuxedo, prompting Scully to wonder what kind of hot date he had just abandoned.

Scully must quiet the jealous storm brewing within as the two work together to search for a little boy.

Scully soon finds all is not as it seems, and maybe this won't be the worst Valentine's Day, after all.

Length: 5,325

Classification: MSR, UST, URT, hurt/comfort

Rating: G

Spoilers:

Favorite line: Well, they were quite literally always together, but they weren’t together together. They simply called each other in the middle of the night when one or the other had a nightmare and knew each other’s coffee order depending on coffee chain and had spare clothes at each other’s places and nursed each other back from the brink of death on countless occasions and had broken down in each other’s arms and spent too many a tension-filled evening falling in love in clandestine seclusion on a shitty motel bed over styrofoam boxes of lukewarm takeout.

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This is a fun Mulder spiralling fic with a nice, fluffy ending.

Title: Suck it, Superman

Author: RationalCashew, @rationalcashew

Summary: Very early relationship. Season 7.

Their relationship is new. Things are going great. And, then, Mulder realizes that it's Valentine's Day and he's planned absolutely nothing.

Length: 2,433

Classification: MSR

Rating: PG

Spoilers:

Favorite line: He’d gone through a million buzzing thoughts from the coffee table to the door. Including, but not limited to: the night was already ruined and she was going to dump him before they really had a chance to see what happened with this thing; his shirt was terrible and he should’ve changed it; if she dumped him, would she still work with him?

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A misunderstanding leads to some forward movement for our lovable idiots.

Title: Mixed Signals

Author: OnlyTheInevitable, @gaycrouton

Summary: Scully gets flowers from a secret admirer and that, combined with the way Mulder's been acting, prompts her to be honest with herself.

Length: 3,170

Classification: MSR, fluff

Rating: PG

Spoilers:

Favorite line: “Her secret admirer. He’s been pining after her for years and she’s finally decided to take pity on him,” he told him seriously.

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Short and sweet old school Valentine’s fic from Donna. Scully’s down and Mulder figures out why.

Title: February 14

Author: Donna

Summary: Valentine’s Day Ditty

Length: 717

Classification: MSR

Rating: G

Spoilers:

Favorite line: "Well, you may not realize it but it is Valentine’s Day. You give pretty girls things on Valentine’s Day." Her eyebrow rose, but she didn’t comment, just picking up the box and heading toward the kitchen.

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Annika’s story of their first (belated) Valentine’s Day as a couple. Absolutely adorable.

Title: Valentine’s Day is a State of Mind

Author: Baroness_Blixen, @baronessblixen

Summary: Scully thinks Mulder has a case for them but as it turns out, Mulder has planned something else entirely.

Length: 1,251

Classification: MSR, Fluff

Rating: PG

Spoilers:

Favorite line: “Okay fine, it was three weeks ago. Anyway, you were talking about going to a restaurant and how you haven’t been to a fancy place in ages and I thought, hey, as your bo- your partner?” He sighs before he goes on, “as your Mulder, I should do this. Remember when I asked you about having dinner the other day?”

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There’s the language of flowers, there’s an FBI ball, there’s Diana, there’s declarations of love and there’s smut. What more could you ask for on Valentine’s Day?

Title: ‘Til Stars Align

Author: MonikaFileFan, @monikafilefan

Summary: Mulder and Scully are currently stuck under Kersh’s thumb and banned to the bullpen. It’s the week of Valentine’s Day and Scully also finds herself under romantic admiration from another.

Length: 21,806

Classification: MSR, fluff and smut

Rating: E

Spoilers:

Favorite line: “You can do this. You’re Fox freaking Mulder and you’re in love with your partner.

#poangvalentines2025 #poangpals #txf fanfic #fic rec list #fic recs #sagan-starstuff

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 4 months ago

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my favorite scully and mulder moments from s6

the long kiss between mulder and hallucination/time warp scully in episode 3, which he says is “in case we never meet again”. she responds with a fist to his face- and he remarks that he was expecting a left hook instead of a right. i will think about this forever

scully listening to his rambles after he's been rescued from the ocean and placed in a hospital bed: “i would’ve never seen you again, but you believed in me” “in your dreams”, she laughs

and of course: “hey scully? i love you” “oh, brother” (fade to black as he cradles where she punched him in the face with a smile... haha, yes!!! the surface-level fluff and then the angst beneath it!!!! GOD!!)

episode 4’s area 51 roadtrip dialogue: “outpost 134. two miles to go” (the driest scully voice imaginable) “i’m allllll atingle”

(and then the heart-wrenching monologue of hers that follows: “don’t you ever want to stop? get out the damn car?”, and his frail insistence that they do have normal lives and nothing needs to change..... wow. it hurt splendidly)

they meet up again in episode 5, and scully can't figure out how to get mulder back into his own body. “you don’t look too happy. don’t tell me i’m going to have to put two kids through school” “that is you in there, isn't it, mulder?” <- sobbing. loudly. to recognize someone outside of their own body....

and when he tries so hard to convince scully that she can prove to kersh the nature of the body swap, never doubting her for a moment, she says “i’d kiss you if you weren’t so damn ugly” <- oh!!!! OH!! OH!

him giving her the sunflower seeds to remember him by when they think they are being separated forever... 💔 but don't worry! everything is okay in the end! thank goodness!!

mulder telling her the spooky story of lyda and maurice in episode 6; she tells him it is a great story, and he told it very well, but she has to go spread some holiday cheer!!!

the skeletons they find in the haunted house were wearing their outfits. mulder laughs: “how embarrassing”. and when they realize it's somehow THEM, they FREAK out!!!!!!

lyda teasing them about their feelings for each other, and mulder’s absolute certainly that scully would NOT kill him, no matter what <3

scully coming to his door the morning after the whole debacle instead of opening presents with her family like she said she would- she’s still shaken up, so she asks to come in (her! asking! to come into his apartment!), and he grabs her by the shoulders and guides her in

and he agrees with her claim that all of the ghostly adventures must have all happened in their heads, trying to push the implications out of both their minds

AND the gift exchange that follows, even though they agreed not to buy each other anything… their giant smiles as they tear into the presents on his couch, snow falling out the window <3 when i tell you i could have cried....

they way they look at each other in episode 8 when mr. hardt describes his town as “sexy through the lens of weather”, as if they were going to debrief and laugh about it the INSTANT they got in the car... it was SUCH a besties moment, i lost it

and all of the many times in that episode they were mistaken for a couple... i'm a simple woman, okay? i like simple things

scully responding with absolute silence when mulder says he is helping mr. hardt find a date (“... mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?” “i will talk to you later!” he declares, hanging up)

scully carefully checking mulder for any signs of concussion while he proposes the wild theory that someone purposefully threw a cow at him... really just an average day for them, tbh

the way they worked together to doctor up skinner in episode 9... he turns off all the lights and dangles a desk lamp so she can investigate... oh, that was a GOOD moment among a list of very good moments!!!

scully showing up to the gym where he was playing basketball in episode 11- he shoots a three pointer to impress her, and she says “mulder, it’s my distinct impression that you just cheated” <- get his ass!! (he wanted to WOO HER WITH BASKETBALL🥲)

she shows up again to the gym after they get in trouble and lose their jobs: “scully, you wanna go one-on-one? we’ve got nothing but time now that we’re on administrative leave” “aren’t you curious what i’ve got in the box?” (<- and that's Them, isn't it? he wants to play ball, she wants to play show and tell with the secret documents, they're both getting in trouble, saving the world, ignoring the consequences of their actions... i just love it)

(AND when she shows him sensitive photos of his father with CSM, she waits for him to say that he is ready before moving onto the next picture, trying to give him time to process his world being rocked... so what if i cry?)

being soaking wet and cranky with each other in episode 13: “he’s seen things i’ve only read about” “because sea monsters can only be read about, mulder, because they don’t exist” <- TELL HIM! 🦑

scully’s reaction to learning he has a waterbed in episode 14 AND his puzzled face when he discovers she was not, in fact, the person who gave it to him (WHY DID HE SEEM TO THINK IT WAS HER?? I'M STILL LAUGHING OVER THISSSSS)

their mid-time loop conversation on the nature of fate and free will: “i think that we’re free to be the people that we are- good, bad, or indifferent. i think it’s our character that determines our fate” “all the rest is preordained? i don’t buy that; there’s too many variables”

(but doesn't that show so much of who they are in so few words? isn't that an amazing view into their characters and how they fundamentally differ? AHH, i want to yell about it!!!)

also, there was never a universe where the two of them didn’t charge into the bank to save the day, because that is just who they are ❤️

ALL OF THE FAKE MARRIED MOMENTS IN EPISODE 15!! the angst in the way she shoves him off of her when all the neighbors leave… but how excited they were to search the house for clues… their dramatic commitment to staying in character… “how was your first night?” “oh, it was wonderful; we just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats”... cuddled up on the couch in front of the HOA president… scully grabbing his hand when he is told he can’t have a basketball hoop… her awkward laughter at dinner with the neighbors when he makes a joke about eating dolphins... LORD. i was the fan they were servicing

and despite all the silly stuff, they work SO well together to try and get information out of the neighbors.... BUT! scully does not let him kiss her cheek when she gets up to leave and it nearly cracks their facade, lmaoooo

mulder’s gasp when scully emerges from their shared bathroom with a green face mask- and then he immediately tries to play it cool!!!

mulder is digging a hole, and scully asks “do you care to hear what i think?” he answers “always” (screaming a little here)

mulder luring in scully to get involved with the mysterious dog-related deaths in episode 16 by hanging up the photos in their office, because he knows her so well. she's ignoring his ridiculous pun as she focuses on the impossibility of a dog doing these killings: “mulder, i don’t have to tell you how absolutely and completely wrong that seems” <- yeah girl, we know! you want to autopsy right now!!

mulder infodumping on cryptozoology to the cops and scully apologizing on his behalf: “animals that aren’t supposed to exist, like the sasquatch and the ogopogo and the abominable snowman-” “don’t mind him, he’ll go on forever” <- the gentle teasing, the familiarity of it all... to know someone enough to know when they cannot stop... her being so used to his nerdiness... it's all so good

scully knows that karin is tricking mulder the whole time. when she tricks him AGAIN into sitting at the hospital all night, scully snatches the magazine from his hands and turns her body away so that there is visible distance between them DESPITE them sitting on the same couch.... ooooo, that angst is GOOD!

(and later, she falls asleep on the couch, and he uses the magazine to gently tap her awake......)

at the end of the episode, mulder is blaming himself for what went down. scully realizes this, sitting on the edge of the desk, saying that karin analyzed him exactly right, and perhaps in doing so meant to pay him the ultimate compliment. he rubs his eyes like he can barely stay awake, and fidgets with a screwdriver as scully asks him if he will be alright. she's not telling him that it isn’t his fault or rubbing in the fact that she knew he was being manipulated- she's just trying to show him that karin admired him, and she means every word

scully gets so SENSITIVE in episode 17 when she proposes the human combustion theory, which resulted in us getting the incredible line “dear diary, today by heart leapt when agent scully suggested spontaneous human combustion”

flirting in the basement in episode 19: “mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?” “i have seen the life on this planet, scully, and that is exactly why i am looking elsewhere” (god, that one had me LAUGHING)

then they spend a long time teasing each other, with him stealing her fake ice cream, and oh!!! the way she LAUGHS when she realizes he was looking at archival baseball scores the whole time!!!

and of course, the beloved baseball date- mulder paying some random kid to put the balls in the battling machine. his hands on her hips. their faces are so close together. he talks in a silly voice on behalf of the bat. rearranging their hands over and over again. she’s giggling. “shut up, mulder. i’m playing baseball”

all of the sweet, sweet hurt/comfort in episode 22 as mulder hears wild ringing noises in his head- scully checking him for a fever and trying to get him to go to the doctor. leading him out of the room when he’s in pain. him insisting he’s okay, but being unable to form a sentence and tell skinner about what they found. her trying to cover for him when he accuses skinner of spying on them. and then scully fully believing that she can speak to him without being hurt despite the fact that he is in a padded room, violent, yelling, and inconsolable....... wow 💗

#to know someone well enough to predict what punch they will throw but it's not really Her so he was wrong... i will think of this forever #something something about him knowing how to get scully involved with the wolf case but not realizing he was being manipulated #there are a lot of things that are poetry here to me. in fact i want to do even more analysis but the words aren't loading #so i leave you here for now #anyway!!! i can start s7 tomorrow!! big big big exciting news!!!#i tentatively plan to watch all the episodes but i'm not 100% how that will go down logistically and if i will take notes on them all #so stay tuned!!!!#the x files #txf #msr

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riddled-with-fear · 8 days ago

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May I request Pusher fucking a reagent after drugging them. I can’t stop thinking about his voice likes where he calls the player baby and bitch

ANON! giving you a forehead kiss, of course you can have a Pusher x reader fucking fic! ahhh Pusher *twirls hair* my favorite Ex-Pop.

I also cannot stop thinking about the little pet names he calls you while chasing you haha.

This was so fun to write, thank you for your patience while I wrote this lmao.

WC: 1257

CW: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. Extreme Dubcon, psychosis drug use leading to drugged fucking, PIV, heavy use of pet names (Baby) Derogatory name calling (Pusher calling reader Bitch), graphic descriptions of smut, Female implied Reader, The Outlast Trials is it's own warning tbh.

NSFW under the cut

Chemical Halo

The deafening siren emitting from the insertion gates blared out into the Toy Factory. The amber light flashed blindingly, further illuminating the dim room.

You had just barely escaped Mother Gooseberry and Doctor Futterman not even minutes ago, surely they wouldn’t send another Prime Asset in so soon…Right? You quickly slid under a desk, panting, your mind going over every possibility.

Then you heard it. The unmistakable hissing of Pusher’s fumigator, “Oh Baby! The places you’re gonna go…”

Fuck…You squeezed your eyes shut, silently cursing to yourself. Your mind was racing with so much adrenaline of nearly being drilled to death by Futterman you didn’t even think about the Ex-Pops.

Another series of hisses. “I’m here to snuff out the vermin!” Pusher rambled off to himself.

You heard him shuffle down the hall, and figured he was far enough away you could sneak out from under the desk and run to your next objective. You were really regretting soloing this trial.

You turned on the night vision in the goggles screwed into your skull, and as quietly as you could, you crawled out from under the desk.

You stood by the desk, listening for any signs of Pusher, Mother Gooseberry, or god forbid another Prime Asset.

Nothing.

You calmed your nerves and made your way down the hall back to the garbage compactor. You still had two boxes of sex toys to crush. That meant finding two more generators. You quickly ran to the generator you were working on and cranked it.

Once. It sputtered.

Twice. It roared.

Three-

You felt an arm grab yours, yanking you away from the generator before you could fully pull the ripcord for a third time, “I’m your Lawyer, your Doctor, and your Priest baby!”

Pusher. FUCK!

You had no antidote left on you.

“Get ready, I’m gonna screw you three different ways!” He raised his nozzle towards you, “You’re pretty cute, baby! Maybe I’ll screw you four different ways.”

He gassed you with the psychosis drugs from his fumigators tank.

You dropped to the ground, coughing and sputtering from the noxious and nauseating fumes that invaded your nose. Immediately the room began to spin. You were lightheaded. Screams and whispers filled your ears in an auditory hallucination. You looked up, seeing the Skinner Man standing down the hall. You crawled away from Pusher, desperately trying to remember where you saw antidote laying around.

“Aw, don’t be a little bitch!” Pusher walked over to you.

You grabbed a brick laying on the floor, and threw it behind you hoping it would hit him or at least distract him.

It didn’t. In fact, it missed. Horribly.

“Tryna hurt me? Come on baby, let's have some fun!”

You felt two hands grab your waist, dragging you back to where the generator was.

“It’s been a while since I've got my dick wet, baby! Indulge me a little!” Pusher raised his nozzle and gassed you again.

You fought against him, kicking and flailing your arms. Your bare foot barely made contact with the metal leg braces that were screwed into his calves. It hurt your exposed foot more than it had any effect on Pusher.

“Baby, relax! Don’t be a little cock-block!”

Between your struggle to get away, and your struggle to breathe, you didn’t notice how fast Pusher yanked your pants down to your ankles.

“You like being manhandled like this you dirty bitch?”

You tried shaking your head at him–not willing to give any sort of satisfaction–but as soon as you looked up from the floor, the Skinner Man rushed at you. You quickly looked back to the floor, letting out a pathetic gasp as you bent forward covering your head with your arms. In doing so, you only angled your hips out and up towards Pusher.

“Be cool, Baby. Be cool!” Pusher lined himself up with you and thrust into your aching cunt, “No one’s gonna hurt ya while you’re using my drugs!”

You weren’t worried about being hurt by Gooseberry. You were worried about being killed by Gooseberry. If Gooseberry caught you two, she would most assuredly have Dr. Futterman drill you a new one. Literally. And it wouldn’t stop until all the blood spilled out of you.

You moaned out at the feeling of his cock inside you as your walls burned at the stretch to accommodate the size of him, “Wait, wait!”

“Shh baby, you don’t wanna get caught now do ya? Do I gotta shove the nozzle of my sprayer down your throat and suffocate you with my gas to get you to be quiet? Cause I will, and I’ll keep fuckin ya, breathing or not.”

“No, no!” You answered him through broken moans. “Not that, please.”

“Oh, I see! Filthy bitch wants my cock down her throat to pacify her!” Pusher laughed above you. “Not yet baby, I wanna drown my cock in your soaking cunt.”

Pusher picked up his pace, spearing you open on his cock. Every rough thrust he gave you rocked your body back and forth, grating the bare skin of your arms and face against the bloody concrete floor of the Toy Factory.

The noises ripping from your throat were caught between moans of pleasure, and screams of terror. You had never been exposed to this much of the psychosis drugs in one go, and it was taking a toll on your sanity, and your health.

“Come on, Baby, those noises you’re making? Driving me fuckin’ crazy! But you gotta be quiet.”

You couldn’t be quiet. Between the embarrassingly arousing way you were getting fucked, and the drugs flooding your system, you were the opposite of coherent. Pusher didn’t ease up on his pace or the intensity of his thrusts, in fact, he only seemed to get faster and rougher.

The tip of his cock was undoubtedly bruising your cervix, any harder and you swear he would rip it open and fuck his cock directly into your womb. Your G-spot was rubbed raw at his brutalizing thrusts. Yet, your cunt was gushing arousal. You could feel it soaking your thighs. You couldn’t help but just give in and moan like a cheap whore.

“Fuck! Whiny bitch.” Pusher reached around and stuffed two of his fingers into your mouth, “Suck on these baby and keep quiet!”

You did. You closed your mouth around his grimy fingers and began sucking. You shut your eyes, and let go of everything. Every moral, every sense of self preservation, everything.

“Yeah baby, I’m almost there!” Pusher stuffed his cock into your tight cunt.

Your nerves were dancing with ecstasy, your own orgasm was approaching and it was approaching fast. Pusher fucked into you at a devastating pace. He finally snapped his hips one last time burying his cock deep in you, flooding your sloppy hole with his cum.

Your orgasm overtook you, your cunt spasmed around Pusher’s sensitive cock, squeezing every last drop out of him. You groaned out in pure bliss, drool spittling out of the side of your mouth. Pusher pulled out of you, dropping you onto the concrete floor. You were too fucked out, and too doped up on his psychosis drugs to keep yourself upright.

“Here, I’m feeling generous since you were such a good fuck.”

You barely turned your head at the object that was tossed down in front of your face.

“Don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya baby!” Pusher limped off, leaving you exposed and vulnerable on the floor.

You pulled the object further to you, examining it.

Antidote.

#The outlast trials x reader #the outlast trials #pusher outlast trials #pusher x reader #pusher outlast trials x reader #dead dove do not eat #dddne #outlast #outlast x reader #ex-pop #ex pop pusher x reader

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sunshine-theseus · 1 year ago

Text

Translation | Mayra Ramírez x Reader

Words: 3.6

Summary: your career takes a hit but Mayra is there to lift you back up

Warnings: pitch violence, Maya le Tissier and ManU is not nice, bad Spanish – as usual, long convos will be in English but implied they’re actually speaking Spanish, sorry I feel like this one is all over the place for some reason

It was hard to hear what was being said over the chants and screams from the stands. It was harder to try and reply for both parties.

I hadn’t seen what happened. The ball was making its way down the pitch one moment and the next moment the whistle was blown and everyone rushed to the sidelines, opposing the medics rushing out. Mayra Ramírez, Chelsea’s mind-blowing new signing, was laying on the ground, clearly in pain.

I watched as the medics tried to say something to the girl, but she was clearly only growing frustrated as neither understood the other. That’s when I decided to make my way over to the group, hoping to help with whatever issue had occurred.

“¿Necesitas ayuda para traducir?” (do you need help translating?) I ask the Colombian as I kneel next to her.

I get a stiff nod in return, her eyes still clenched tightly as she tries to breathe through the pain.

“What do you need to tell her?” I turn my head to the medics across from me.

“We need to check for any signs of a concussion. We need her eyes open.”

“Ellas necesitan que abras tus ojos chica” with a few blinks, her eyes finally open.

“Mi hombro que duele mucho” (my shoulder hurts a lot) Mayra whispers in my ear, tapping her left shoulder, and I relay the message to the medic without the bag.

I offer a hand for comfort and she takes it while they manipulate her shoulder, seeing if there is any real damage or if it’s just superficial. As we wait I find myself asking what happened. She recounts the body check from my teammate, Maya, and I make a mental reminder to have a word with her after the game.

“She’s okay but that girl could have done some bad damage with the hit she made. If she feels good, she’s safe to continue. I’d ask you to keep an eye on your teammate, she’s had it out for Mayra the whole game.” I tell Mayra she’s been given the okay to continue if she feels she can, and I help her up. She thanks me and gives me a hug before making her way to the sideline, waiting to be called back on by the ref.

“What was that all about?” the named devil approaches me as we take our positions to continue the game.

“Doesn’t matter. Just don’t be a dick for the rest of the game yeah? If you can help it for once.” I continue on my way to stand in position to kick the game back off, leaving her with a dropped jaw.

We’re in the 72’ minute and I think my small lecture actually gets through to the defender. She hadn’t made a move on Mayra or any other Chelsea player since. But right as the ball makes its way toward the opposing pair, both fighting for possession, I watch as Maya elbows Mayra in the face. Hard. No whistle is blown, but I still find my feet marching toward her, an anger growing in the pit of my stomach. I’m sick of this shit.

“What the fuck did I tell you!?” I can feel as all eyes begin to focus on me and the commotion I’m causing.

She looks scared and I almost turn right around and continue with the game, but then I glance behind her and see Mayra hunched over, grabbing her nose.

“I said ‘don’t be a dick’ didn’t I!? So why aren’t you listening to your captain Le Tissier?” by now I’ve reached her, so I shove her to further my point.

“I’m playing the fucking game. Captain.”

“No! You’re targeting Ramírez and risking other players’ health. We’ve talked about this behaviour before, and I thought we had it sorted. I’m talking to Skinner and you’re going to find yourself on the bench for a long fucking time. Until you prove you’ve learnt your lesson. Is that fucking clear?” I continue to stalk toward her as she backs away, seething through my teeth as I whisper in her ear.

She barely nods in return, but with one more light shove to her shoulders, I turn around to check on Mayra. I don’t even get a step away before hands are pressed against my spine and I’m pushed forward. I manage to catch myself before I fall and turn back toward my teammate as I readjust myself. Her fist is already swinging at me and connects with my mouth instantly, followed by a boot to the stomach. In the back of my mind, I hear the whistles of multiple officials and screams of both Chelsea and United players and fans, but none of that processes as I punch her cheek.

Maya is pressed up against the goal post at this point, Mary watching from the box, seemingly not knowing how to break up the fight. The boot to my stomach had admittedly winded me and my lungs were struggling to fill up as I grip the collar of her jersey and push her up against the metal. My hope is that retraining her long enough will manage to calm her down enough to talk, but she manages enough leverage to headbutt me in the nose.

The blood from my definitely broken nose mixes with the blood from my split lip in my mouth and I accidentally choke on it. I let Maya’s jersey go as I bend over, retching up more blood and trying to gasp through it. I can feel players from both teams separating us and trying to help while we wait for medics to make their way over, but I collapse onto my knees before they can get me very far.

The next thing I know, my vision goes black

~~~~~

I know I wasn’t out for long because the final minutes of the game are still being streamed to the TV in the corner of the medical room. Unfortunately, my face and stomach still ache, and I’m very aware of the dried blood that has seemed to cover my chin, neck and most of the front of my jersey. I can feel the stitches that have been used to close my lip as my tongue passes over them.

I take a moment to study the rest of the room. No Maya, wouldn’t be surprised if she managed to snake her way into finishing the game. I clearly didn’t punch her hard enough. I’d do anything to escape the club at this point. A shitty coach and shitty teammates and especially shitty oversight. Send me back to Madrid at this point.

It’s always easy to know the game has ended because the hall echoes with boot studs as groups of players make their way to their locker rooms. I watch red shirts pass by first, loud chatter between them. Not a single one pops their head in to see how I’m doing. So much for being a good captain.

A sea of blue follows, and I find my mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as many of the players stop momentarily to thank me for standing up for their striker. How did one of my team’s biggest rivals care about me more than my own team?

Mayra lingers at the door as she finishes a conversation in broken English with Emma Hayes, then silently makes her way in. She takes a seat in the shitty plastic chair beside me and takes one look at my face and cringes.

“¿Es tan malo?” (is it that bad?)

“Sí.” She lets out a small laugh with her answer

“Gracias por lo que hiciste ahí fuera” (thanks for what you did out there)

“No te mereces esa mierda. y estoy harto de sus payasadas” (You don't deserve that shit. and I'm sick of her antics).

She doesn’t say anything in return, simply resting her hand on mine. That same warm feeling I felt when she held my hand as I translated for her on the pitch returns, swelling in the pit of my stomach.

I find comfort in the simple touch for as long as we sit there, before deciding it’s probably getting quite late and both of us obviously need some cleaning up. I don’t see her again before the blues get back on their bus to London and I drive back to a cold and empty apartment.

~~~~~

So I was suspended from the next match. And am still too injured for the one following that. In addition I’ve been too injured to complete any extensive training. Who knew a studs-up kick to the stomach and 2 hard punches to the face causing a relatively large amount of bleeding would be this bad?

Of course Maya served a one match ban, but she suffered no other consequences. People on twitter were outraged. At who? Well that depends on which side you look at. A lot of Chelsea fans had put aside any dislike they had for me and had been thanking me for finally standing up against the aggressive behaviour shown toward Mayra since her move. Some going as far to say they wished I realised I could do much better than United.

I wasn’t one to stroke my ego, but I definitely agreed with that.

United fans had not taken so kindly to the events. I’d been called a lot of things in my career. Slurs, misogynistic names, shit nicknames, they were all quite common. It doesn’t mean it hurts any less coming from the fans who are supposed to support you.

I’d spent the good part of my forced time off crying in bed and trying to ease some of the pain. No one had heard from me in 10 days, including family and friends asking if I was doing okay. I’d gotten DMs from players on other teams checking in and giving me their support as well. I think some of them started getting worried when they checked with my teammates, none of which had checked on me, and other players and no one had so much as heard a peep.

Then, on day 11, there was an eruption. The silent world was engulfed by blames and no one saw it coming.

Manchester United Women have just announced the abrupt and immediate departure of Captain Y/N L/N after 3½ years at the club

Boy did that have the messages rolling in, concern taking over like a plague. Concern about what went down behind scenes that would cause their captain to leave with immediate effect this close to the end of the season. Concern for what this meant for the rest of the team. Concern for where I was heading next. Concern for my well-being. Lots and lots of concern for why I had suddenly vanished from the face of the earth.

I definitely wasn’t expecting a loud knock on my door at 4 in the afternoon. Barely navigating through the packed boxes, I manage a peak through the peephole before the person knocks again.

Mayra Ramírez is stood on the other side of my door, rocking back and forth on her feet, patiently waiting for someone to answer.

I swing it open without much thought about the fact I’m in relatively shit clothes and I’ve probably gone a few too many days without washing my hair. I also momentarily forget the giant bruises that still are yet to heal all over my body as I pull her into a tight hug. I’m not sure why I do it. The first and last time we talked was that dreaded match, but having someone physically in front of me makes something deep inside of me snap.

I begin crying right there on the edge of my driveway as the Colombian just rocks us side to side in a soothing motion.

She eventually pulls away to help move us toward the living room, allowing me to rest against her as I try to catch my breath.

“¿Estas bien? ¿qué pasó?” (are you okay? what happened?).

“Allí no le agradaba a nadie, especialmente después del partido. Los superiores dijeron que tenía que irme inmediatamente. No tengo a donde ir.” (Nobody liked me there, especially after the game. The superiors said I had to leave immediately. I have nowhere to go). I’d cried so much in the past week that there were barely any tears left. I was also rather dehydrated. I had not done anything but pack my stuff into boxes and cry.

She didn’t prod any further as I leant against her again, my eyes beginning to droop.

“Todo va a estar bien” (everything will be okay) she whispers in my ear.

I don’t know how long I’m asleep for, but it can’t be more than an hour or two because the sun is still high in the sky and Mayra hasn’t felt the need to move from beneath me. My head resting in her lap with her hands twisting the ends of my hair as she scrolls on her phone are the only signs of passing time. When she doesn’t immediately notice my eyes staring up at her, I take a moment to admire her.

The light curls in her hair falling over her shoulder. The soft smile that seemingly always graced her lips. The way her eyes are like pools of burnt umber, so warm and kind, dragging you in. the freckles that were spaced across her face like stars in the dark night sky. A natural beauty that I couldn’t seem to get enough of.

“Why are you here?” the question is broken up by the dryness in my throat.

“No one has seen or heard from you in a week and then it is suddenly announced you are leaving Manchester immediately. I was worried.”

“But why? We’ve only spoken once.” The thought of how she find my place doesn’t even cross my mind.

“You risked a lot for me that game, clearly including your place in your team. I want to repay you. And I care about you.” Perhaps it was the drowsiness that was still blanketed over my brain, but there was something in her eyes that made it feel like her words held more meaning behind them than she’d presented me with.

I finally stand up, making my way to the kitchen. I offer Mayra a tea, but she expresses her disgust with the drink before I can finish my breath.

“Why are you packing?”

“I’m moving.”

“Where?” I pause at the question. There were a lot of things I had answers for, but this was not one of those things. I had no idea where I was heading. Maybe back home to Madrid? Somewhere else in England? I’m sure if I bothered checking my email I’ll have had multiple offers since the announcement this morning.

I can feel as her frame approaches and towers over me. Her presence is calming and I take a breath.

“I don’t know.” My eyes begin to burn again, new tears welling up against my waterline when she turns me to face her and wraps her arms around me. It’s almost identical to earlier but now I’m just tired of it all.

~~~~~

It’s not until 5 weeks later that I find myself dragging my boxes into a new place. Well new for me, relatively old now for Mayra. The classic English brick was inescapable but the girl had somehow managed to capture and essence of Colombia, and subsequentially Spain. I didn’t really care for remembering my home but there was a comfort within the space that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“La lavandería está al final del pasillo si quieres lavar tu kit.” (The laundry room is down the hall if you want to wash your kit). Mayra points to the door after we finish unpacking most of the boxes.

In the mess of packing up almost 4 years of my life in Manchester and moving it down to London, I’d almost forgotten about the new kits folded neatly in their own box, tucked tightly into the corner of the room. Honestly the thought of even opening the lid made me uneasy, even though I would not be wearing them any time soon. It wasn’t particularly bad type of nausea, just a “I don’t know if I’m ready for this change” type. Of course Mayra could sense that.

We’d grown really close over the past month, spending a lot of time on calls. They often involved me helping her practice English and her helping me sort out the move. And a lot of dropping subtle hints.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew very quickly that I liked her a lot and I noticed her blushing and side glances rather easily. I wasn’t sure if she was clueless to her own feelings and my own or if she didn’t want to approach the subject. That’s why, on my first visit down to London to discuss contracts and to watch Chelsea’s last home game, I told her how I felt.

It wasn’t anything big, a homecooked meal and some wine that wasn’t particularly good. We were sat on the balcony, the sun barely resting on the horizon, a moment imprinted in my brain.

“Realmente me gustas” (I really like you). I had a whole speech planned, admitting what I’d been feeling over the weeks, but no other words came out. All she did was lean across the table and press her lips against mine and that was that.

That’s how we landed here. The new kit is spiralling in the washing machine as we sing loudly to the music playing over the speaker, dancing around the kitchen, drowning out the noises. The house is filled with the smell of paella de pollo and puchero santafereño and other Spanish and Colombian dishes, cooking or cooling off, as we work on arepas.

Mayra tries to show me how to flatten the dough out on the pan, then flip it with my hand. I approach the stove with a small ball of dough, ready to replicate her actions, when she wraps her arms around my waist. She places her larger hands over my own and manipulates them to follow the instructions she whispers in my ear.

“And now you flip it.” With that, I try to hook my fingers beneath it to turn it over.

With just my luck, my hand sits at the wrong angel, and my wrist and knuckles rest against the burning hot pan. My hand recoils and Mayra is dragging me to the sink to run it under cold water before I can even process the pain.

“Fucking shit! How do you do that?” the burn definitely isn’t that bad, but I continue to hold it under the tap while Mayra goes back to the pan and flips it with ease, answering me with a shrug and a cheeky side smile.

“Well you only have to make… like 45 more before the girls get here.”

“Noo mi amor just try one more time. I believe in you” She pouts her bottom lip and looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes and reaches for my hand. She presses kisses to each of my knuckles and my wrist.

“Fine, but if I burn my fingers one more time I’m sitting in the corner and letting you do all the work.” I let out a huff as I take a new ball of dough and roll it between my hands.

Mayra wraps her arms around my waist again but leaves them there, watching as I meticulously push the dough around on the pan. When she tells me it’s time to flip it, I pinch at the top edge and quickly turn it over. No contact with the pan is made.

Proud of my success I quickly spin around and kiss her. Cheshire-like grins spread across both our faces as our foreheads rest against each other, enjoying the moment.

Mayra was a lot more domestic and much more of a homebody than I’d originally thought. She enjoyed staying in and making homecooked meals together most nights, cuddling on the couch and watching a show or movie as the moon rises higher in the sky. But I loved that about her. It was never boring to just exist in the same space as her, she was too perfect.

The Chelsea girls begin to arrive about half an hour later. Niamh, Cat and Maika are the first, and instantly start helping me set up the table, chatting about their luck in the last game of the season. A 6-0 victory against Manchester United that won them the league.

Emma arrives not much later with Hannah, Aggie, Sam and Kristie in tow. I send Mayra out to greet and talk with her teammates and start to add finishing touches on some of the dishes.

Everyone has arrived and all the food is laid out across the tables pushed together in the garden. I sit down next to Mayra as she talks with Erin, who is trying to improve her Spanish, and link our hands together on top of the table. I play with the gold ring on her finger as I look at everyone around me. Smiles and laughs, a friendship so close it’s basically a family, feeling safe with each other.

No club I’ve ever played at was this close, but they were all so excited and quick to pull me in and love me like I’ve been here for years.

I look at Mayra again. The golden light of the sun turns her eyes into pools of whiskey and her skin glows. Those freckles I love have become more prominent in recent summer days. Her laugh makes my heart burst.

“Te amo cariño mio” (I love you my darling) I whisper in her ear as I rest my head on her shoulder, a smile glued to my face.

Her lips lightly press to my forehead.

“Te amo mucho”

#woso x reader #womens soccer #woso fanfics #wsl #chelsea women #cfcw #mayra ramirez x reader #mayra ramirez #manchester united women #man utd women

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barbie0303 · 6 months ago

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My thoughts on Dexter per season now that I just finished it:

Season 1

By far the best season out of all of them and the best antagonist (yes, even Trinity)

Love how Dexter is introduced, probably one of the best character introductions I’ve ever seen

The flashbacks sequences are sooo good. The haunting feeling they give, even the happier ones like Laura playing hide and seek with Dex and Brian. 10/10

The foreshadowing for Brian’s reveal in Father Knows Best was brilliant: Dexter thinking no normal person wakes up at that hour while Rudy is there, the focus on Rudy when Dexter says nothing connects him to the house, Rudy’s insistence that Joe was Dexter’s real father.

That scene in the Hotel room was probably one of the top three scenes of the entire show, the way they portray Dexter´s panic as his memories are returning. 10/10

I´m torn because I like both versions of where Brian confronts Dex with Deb (the container vs. the house).

While I understand the narrative choice of having Dexter kill Brian to protect Deb, it felt rushed. Brian was such a compelling character, and his potential was wasted (even more since the later seasons use him in a weird way. They don’t let him haunt the narrative for more than 2 episodes and sometimes he´s outright avoided). They should have waited a bit more if they really wanted that ending, it felt extremely rushed to suddenly have Brian come right back to Dex´s apartment and Dex to go well now you die in the last 10 min of the episode.

Season 2

Love the concept of Season 2 because Dexter is the one being hunted and technically being the villain if we compare it to other shows or even this one

I actually liked Lila at the beginning of the season and she actually gave Dexter pretty sound advice pre-dating

I like how the moment Rita suspects that Dexter might not be a good influence for her kids, she keeps Dexter out of her life. She’s grateful for his support, and that may be why she is giving him a chance. But she won’t let slide anything that might hurt her or her kids. Love her character

Wish the addict storyline wasn´t ditched

Hated that Dex and Lila had sex… this man has intimacy issues c’mon. I don’t mind the cheating storyline but it could’ve been better if they kept it to emotional, because those can be just as devastating

Doakes and Dexter’ interactions is so fun, love their bickering

Kinda wish that Dexter kept researching his bio fam. Literally, Joe was just mentioned one episode and was never brought up again and we barely know anything about him and Laura beyond the incident

HATED that they introduced the concept, that Dexter was sabotaging cases before the show began (undermines his code)

I liked Gabriel as Deb’s love interest and I’m not gonna lie and say that her falling for Lundy didn’t raise my eyebrows, but I understand it from a character’s perspective. She didn’t realize she was dating the serial killer she was chasing, why not hook up with the guy that identifies them for a living

Both scenes where Dexter confronts Santos Jimenez, man. You can feel how Dexter´s anger and grief over what happened and how unused he is to feel like that

The scenes with Doakes in the cabin were incredible. Michael C. Hall’s portrayal of a sinister Dexter is chilling. Shame he was toned down after this season. (a bit understandable for S3-4, but c´mon)

Season 3

This season should have been the one with the FBI hunt and Season 2 should’ve been the one with Miguel Prado/the skinner (minus Rita being pregnant and getting married, that stays in S3)

I haven’t read all the books, but I prefer Astor and Cody as resilient kids who inspire Dexter over having them being serial killers on training wheels (also I love how this is an example of how signing off a kid as fucked up instead of believing in them can make the difference. I mean it’s Astor/Cody vs Brian/Dexter)

I was frustrated a bit when Rita asked if Dexter knew anything about his family and he says no, she takes it at face value. Like girl, you helped to pack his bio dad’s stuff when he died and told you his mom was murdered months ago (ngl, kinda wish he confided in Rita about who Rudy actually was and the shipping yard massacre.)

I like Dexter and Miguel’s relationship, but it got better and more interesting once they started fighting and going with their power plays

Rita and Syl have such a good relationship, I was surprised how much the writers decided to develop it. Wish Syl appeared more in S4.

This season has the only good Angel romance story (his eventual relationship with LaGuerta isn’t bad, but I really liked more Gianna)

The way I gasped when Dexter told Deb about Harry cheating on Doris with a CI (even if I found odd that she never asks for Dexter´s help with her research or to get more info from him)

I felt robbed when the “Dexter getting kidnapped” scene was a fake out. Wanted to see Dexter vs another serial killer, but now he´s the one caught. The one from the next episode was cool, but a bit rushed, especially how Dexter gets his chance to escape because the skinner had to go to the other side of the factory for his tools, lol

I loved that scene with Ramon in ep.12 and funnily enough Dex opened up more to him in that scene than he ever did to Miguel (emotionally at least), wish he was kept around for a little while after that

I like the scene where Dexter forgives Harry and decides he wants to be a good father for his son. It was such a heartfelt moment

Season 4

I think that this season is carried overall by John Lithgow’s performance as Trinity. The rest of it is a bit overrated.

Wanted to see more of Dexter juggling being a father of three and a serial killer and not him stalking Trinity

Felt sad when Lundy was killed. Didn’t like that Deb cheated and broke up with Anton to rekindle with him, but he was a great character.

I think they revealed who Trinity was too early (or took too much time to kill him), because the last 3 episodes felt that they were dragging and that the writers had already decided that Rita dead was the last shot.

Dexter feeling only embarrassment for killing an innocent was funny but so odd considering the previous season

The Thanksgiving episode was so good, Dexter being ready to murder Trinity in his kitchen 10/10

The storyline where Deb finds out who Brian really was is so disappointing, like the scene with Dex and Deb in 4x12 is good but the research process... talk about underwhelming. That she learns it just because a newspaper happened to name both kids in Laura’s obituary was weird and kind of a plot hole considering that we know Dexter in S1 researched everything related to the Shipping Yard massacre and that most of the files were destroyed. I think it would’ve been better if she learned Laura had two kids and had to keep digging to learn the second kid’s name, have Matthews reveal it to her or bring it up to Dexter and notice how cagey he gets, idk.

Killing Rita was a mistake. If they wanted to shake up the status quo, they should have had her suspect Dexter’s secret or discover he’s a killer.

Season 5

This season is so underrated

I do understand why a lot of people rank it lower, tho. Because, Dexter and Lumen’s storyline is the only strong one, the PI side plot was boring as hell and Deb relating to the barren girls because of Rudy was good but ehhh… considering that the show goes back and forth on making Brian relevant and ignoring his existence, it’s just there

I don’t mind that Astor and Cody taking some time off the series, but it sucks that they were practically written out of the story after that

Listen I love Dexter and Lumen’s relationship, but I’m glad she got to move on with her life.

I think this is the only season that gives the villain(s) the proper amount of screen time where he acts like it with full knowledge from the characters and the audience. They weren´t rushed and they didn´t overstay their welcome

Season 6

This season is mid

Love Dexter and Harrison’s relationship, he’s such a good dad. The amount of warmth and tenderness he shows towards him is the highlight of the season

Brother Sam was a good character and I hated they killed him off, but he´s a bit repetitive in some parts, especially since this was right after the Lumen arc

Brian should have been used more as a manifestation of the Dark Passenger, easily the best episode of the season

Dexter trying to do the same thing as he did with Trinity of doing everything to find the bad guy first sucked and wasn´t even that engaging.

The painting was hilarious, I can´t even be mad, lol

Deb´s therapist sucks at her job, lmao. She´s like: "Oh you´re in love with your brother in a romantic way." And the only evidence she has of it is Deb hugging Dexter after someone attacked the police station with poisonous gas, that she dated Brian and that Deb told her the only constant she has had after all the horrible stuff that happened to her is her brother (yes, they are weird about each other, but the therapist hasn´t seen or heard that)

Season 7

The first five episodes are sooo good, the rest is pretty bad. Only some scenes managed to pick up a little

That flashback with Harry and Dexter… ouch

Love seeing Dexter trying to escape death traps, I was cheering watching how he was going around that fucked up labyrinth

Isaak Sirko was a better character and antagonist than Hannah, he deserved more on-screen time

Hannah McKay was Dexter’s worst love interest, at first I liked how she interacted with Dexter but after they had him (in an OoC manner) alter his report to "make her trust him" it took a nosedive. Which is a shame since I like the actress when I watched S1-2 from Chuck, she was good in that

Don´t know how to feel about Matthews knowing almost all along about Dexter, I think it would have been better of he suspected something when Brian came around and figured it out after the BHB thing happened

Dexter using the Moser lastname when he confronted Estrada. Oof

Love how Dexter tricked LaGuerta with the shirt, but hate that this basically put a count down on her days in the show

Season 8

The concept of Vogel was one of the worst ideas the show ever had (Ik that in the book, Harry says he consulted "some people" before he decided to train Dexter. But he probably meant he researched sociopaths and talked to professionals in hypotheticals not that he strait up teamed with a psychiatrist to "create" Dexter)

The Brain Surgeon is the most boring villain of the show (yes, even Travis was more interesting) he was diet!Brian and that´s giving a complement

The show just feels tired and bland, don´t get me wrong that started around S6. But now, it looks exhausted of itself and even cheaper than previous seasons

Bringing Hannah back was forced and unnecessary. Dexter taking her back after everything, especially after she poisoned him and Deb, felt completely OoC, let alone leaving Harrison to be raised by her

Kinda zoned most of the season if I´m honest

Dexter not killing Saxon was stupid, this guy never learns

The ending sucks, as everyone says. Why a lumberjack?

New Blood

This show was not good… to say the least

DeXter doesn´t come off as out of practice, he´s stupid

Switching Harry for Deb as the main hallucination was the only good idea

Harrison´s trust in Kurt felt so shallow, it was pointless drama

Harrison remembering Trinity is ridiculous (especially since there were two seasons that address how that´s not possible. With Dexter it made sense because he was three, Harrison was 10 months old), he´s probably more traumatized from being raised by Hannah and ending up in foster care.

Dexter used M-99 not ketamine, what were the writers on? This one made me angry because most of Angela´s case is based on that

Angela figuring out Dex is the BHB because she googled it… so frustrating

“Open your eyes and look”, such a cringe scene. HATE IT

#dexter #dexter morgan #yeah I now posted the finished version lol #long post #I have more thoughts but cant word them yet :/#I do recommed the show tho #even if it´s frustrating #have some thoughts on Original Sin #but that one is still ongoing

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scullysexual · 1 year ago

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You're Never Just Anything To Me (6)

@today-in-fic | ao3 | Prev. Chapter

A look into Mulder and Scully’s relationship starting from Millennium going all the way up to Requiem.

VI. Signs and Wonders.

He wakes naturally. Devoid of the usual sluggishness comes with a 6:30 start. The sun appeared brighter, what beams peak through the slight break in the curtain, unusual for this time in April.

Scully is dead weight next to him, Mulder knows even the alarm clock struggles to wake her up. She is bare and warm next to him in his bed, on a school night. He still smiles thinking of how he convinced her to stay over on a Wednesday and he didn’t need broken heaters or traumatic events this time.

He thinks about that alarm and frowns, he doesn’t remember waking up to its annoying sound.

And he quickly realises why.

08:47 glares back at him in big red letters. He stares in horror as the last digit flips to an 8.

“Oh shit!”

The relaxing morning he thought he was going to have has now been bulldozed over by panic and chaos. He pulls on his boxers and the pants from yesterday that had been discarded on the floor the night before. Still bare chested, he leans over, furiously trying to shake Scully awake.

An impossible even when they weren’t running late.

Scully shrugs his hand away from her, rolling away from him. He sighs.

“No Scully, we have a meeting today, you’ve gotta get up,” he says trying to rouse her.

“5 minutes…” she answers but the end trails off as she falls back under.

“No, no minutes.” It was 08:53 now. “You’ve got 7 minutes to get up and get to work.”

That works. She flips over, eyes wide.

“We’re late?” she asks horrified.

Mission accomplished, Mulder climbs off her and starts trying to locate his shirt.

“Yes!”

She rips back the covers and immediately darts into the bathroom, taking her neatly folded clothes with her (because he watched her fold her clothes last night and laughed at her while she did. “It’s a pointless task, Scully,” he’d told her) He couldn’t even appreciate her naked body because he was still trying to find his shirt. So much for pointless tasks…

He's found it when she emerges and it’s 08:57.

“This is your fault,” Scully says. She brushes her hair as they make their way to the elevator.

“What did I do?” Mulder asks. He spams the elevator button. “The clock was on your side, you were in charge of setting it.”

“I’m not even supposed to be here.”

When they get to the parking lot they realise their next problem.

“I don’t have time to get my car,” she says with fear.

Not that it mattered anyway. Her car was still in the FBI garage because she went home with him.

“Get in,” Mulder says, he still holds the door open for her. “Maybe we’ll get there on time.”

But it was already 09:02.

…

The budget staff were growing increasingly restless.

Skinner glares at the two vacant chairs. Perhaps if he burns a hole into them his two truant agents might just appear.

Of course that doesn’t work.

He looks to the clock that reads 09:09 and then back to the staff.

“I’ll see if I can locate them,” he says.

He has Kimberly call both their home phones and cell phones. All four of which go through to voicemail. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t worried. Mulder was often late, that part didn’t concern him. It was Scully. In the six years he’d known her, she had never been late to anything, often arriving before anyone else had even got there. If she wasn’t here it usually meant she wasn’t here.

He sticks his head out into the long corridor looking both ways, still seeing nothing. The elevator doors opening grabs his attention and he sees his two missing agents fly out of it.

“We’re here! We’re here!” Mulder yells and Scully trails behind him.

First is the relief that spreads through him. They were still alive, thank god. Next, it’s frustration.

“You were supposed to be here…” he looks at his watch. “…11 minutes ago, Agent Mulder. Both of you.” Scully uncharacteristically cowers, moving slightly to hide behind Mulder. “What happened?”

“A kid got run over.”

“We got stuck in traffic.”

They both speak simultaneously. Skinner just stares at them.

“One at a time perhaps?” he says.

“A kid got ran over,” says Mulder.

“We got stuck in traffic,” says Scully.

Skinner sighs. He doesn’t exactly believe them but what cause would they have to lie. Then he properly looks at them. He doesn’t pay attention to what people usually wear but he’s sure he saw them wearing those clothes yesterday.

“A kid got ran over and we got stuck in traffic because of it,” clarifies Mulder.

“Both of you?” asks Skinner.

Mulder nods.

“Don’t you live in opposite directions? Take different roads?”

He watches as Mulder and Scully look at each other. Yep, they were definitely holding something back.

“They’re waiting for you now, sir,” Kimberly utters behind him.

The meeting Skinner remembers. He’ll interrogate them later. For now. He opens the door and lets them in. Kimberly opens the other door for all three of them. They sit down and the meeting can finally start. Skinner tries to pay attention but his focus keeps going over to the other two. Somebody asks him a question but Skinner doesn’t hear it. Is that a hickey on Mulder’s neck?

…

“A kid got ran over?!” Scully almost yells as she pushes her way into their office. “You couldn’t have just said what I said?”

“Next time we need to plan our excuse,” says Mulder tossing his blazer to the side and sits down in his chair. “Do you think Skinner knows?”

Scully laughs. “Skinner definitely knows, Mulder.” Scully sits in the guest chairs facing him. “Question is, when he is going to ask us about it.”

“What makes you think Skinner will ask us about it?”

Just then there’s a knock on the door. Scully goes pale. Mulder stands, tepidly making his way to the door. He lingers for a moment wishing the office door came with a peep hole.

“It’s me, Mulder,” Skinner’s voice sounds through the door.

Without any other option, Mulder opens it. “Sir,” he greets. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Skinner steps in, closing the door behind him. He stands about awkwardly. The basement always felt crowded when there was more than two people in it or maybe Scully had just become used to her and Mulder being the only occupants.

“I’m not stupid,” Skinner says and Scully clutches the edges of her seat. “I’ve heard the rumours.” Scully eyes meet Mulders. They both know just what rumours Skinner is referring to. “I need to know, off the record, for the…safety of everyone involved…Are the rumours true?”

Mulder and Scully look at each other again, each waiting for the other to proceed and take the lead.

“You can lie, of course, but I know there was no kid ran over,” he looks at Mulder. “Or traffic to be stuck in,” he looks at Scully who immediately looks away. “And your clothes and that…mark,” he looks so incredibly uncomfortable. “give cause to say that someone wasn’t alone last night. Now if it was with other people then that is your business but if you spent it with each other then, unfortunately, it becomes my business.”

Scully thinks, wondering just what she should say. There’s no point in lying, he’s pretty much sussed them out but how to confirm it was another matter.

“Off the record?” asks Mulder, he looks briefly at Scully. Of course he was doing this for her sake. Mulder’s made it clear in the past that he doesn’t care who knows about their relationship, it was always her that had issues.

“Yes,” says Skinner.

“Yeah, the rumours are true.”

Skinner looks to Scully for confirmation. She nods, smiling awkwardly. She wonders, for a second, if he might congratulate them, if he might grab a chair and exclaim ‘Finally!’, asking for all the details but one look at him and seeing his face have the faintest tint of pink covering it tells her otherwise.

“Very well,” says Skinner beginning to make his way back towards the door. “Thank you for being honest with me.” He has the door open now and coughs. “I need your expense reports by noon,” he says and it’s business as usual. “The budget staff are requesting it.”

“Of course,” says Scully happy now that that conversation is over.

Skinner nods them farewell, still looking from one to the other awkwardly, before he leaves and Mulder closes the door behind him. Listening as his boss’s footsteps get further away he turns towards Scully, grinning.

“Now he knows does this mean we can have sex in the office now?”

Scully just glares at him.

…

“So Skinner knows now, huh?”

They stand in the FBI garage, another workday behind them, and only one more day to go before he can finally have Scully back in his bed. They stand at their respective cars, Scully having made it very clear that she didn’t want a repeat of this morning.

“He does,” Scully agrees, tossing her bag into the front passenger seat.

“How do you feel? I know you wanted to keep quiet…”

“Honestly? Relieved actually.”

“Really?” That surprises him.

“Yeah. It feels less like we’re teenagers trying to hide our relationship from our parents and more like actual adults.” He smiles. “Besides we can’t hide it forever. Oh, that reminds me.”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t do Friday.”

His stomach sinks. “What? Why not?”

Friday is their night, what else could be so important that—But Scully is smiling, brightly, like she can barely contain it.

“I have an appointment. About my ova,” she adds at Mulder’s questioning look. “To see if it’s viable.”

“Well shit, Scully…” A grin forms onto his own face then. “That’s great. You’ll tell me what they say, yeah?”

“Of course.”

They climb into their own cars then and Mulder watches as she pulls out and drives away. His stomach twists. He was happy, of course, for Scully, she’s wanted a baby for as long as he’s known her but the thought of him being the father…His own father wasn’t very good, he couldn’t even keep his little sister from being taken. What if he’s just as bad with their baby? What if he’s just bad?

…

He itches to call her. He bounces his basketball instead.

It’s Saturday morning, at this time he and Scully might have just woken up, another hour would pass before they ordered breakfast, half hour before they found themselves back in bed again. It was a routine he’d gotten use to, every Saturday (unless on assignment in which case that still wouldn’t stop them) she would be here and today she wasn’t.

The ball bounces out of his hands and Mulder sits down. He grabs the case they’re currently working on- some religious thing- and tries to focus on that instead.

About 10 minutes into reading the case there’s a knock on the door. Mulder frowns, the Gunmen maybe? He walks over to it and opens it.

And there stands Scully.

“Hi,” she says.

“Hi.”

She doesn’t seem distressed, she doesn’t seem angry or upset. She seems…content.

“Are you gonna let me in?” she asks with a knowing smile.

“Of course.” He pushes the door open wider and moves out the way. “I didn’t think you would be here today,” he says shutting the door and putting the latch back on it.

“I was bored.” She spins around to look at him. “I thought about calling but I wanted to tell you the news in person.”

Was it what he thought it was? Mulder makes his way back to the couch. He sits though Scully remains standing.

“Dr Parenti thinks there’s potential.”

A smile breaks out across his face. “Scully, that’s amazing.” And Scully can’t contain her own smile any longer.

“Yeah, it is. It really is.”

They stare at each other, smiling for a few minutes longer.

“Uh…Dr Parenti said we could start right away. That’s if…you’re still interested?”

His smile fades as does hers, a worried look crossing it.

“Scully, I—”

“It’s fine,” she interrupts. She bites her lip and he can see her trying to keep the disappointment, the tears at bay. She’s got it wrong. “I knew it was a big ask, I just thought…”

Mulder shakes his head, standing up from the couch and going over to her. He holds her in his arms. She still spirals.

“Scully,” he says more firmly to stop her rambling. “My answer is still yes.”

She stops suddenly then, looking at him. “But I thought…”

“Sit down. Please. I think we need to talk.”

She does so, sitting down beside him, far enough away so they can see each other easily. It’s so unusual for them not to be touching that Mulder reaches out and grabs her hand, pulling it towards him.

“Scully…I have my fears,” he says watching as his fingers circle her palm. “My own father wasn’t very good and I don’t know if I’ll be the same…”

“Mulder?” He looks up at her then, sees the love and understanding in her eyes. “We’ll figure it out together, okay.”

Because of course they will. They do everything together. He nods and she leans towards him, kissing him. Mulder pulls her closer and she sits in his lap facing him, their usual Saturday routine.

He lets himself get excited about the prospect of a baby. Wills his fears away, riding solely on Scully’s strength and belief that he’d be a good dad. He can picture it; a child with fire for hair and a forest landscape for eyes, a perfect combination of his reckless curiosity and her cautious inquisitiveness. He hugs her to him, his head resting on her chest as her hands stroke through his hair. He believes in this possibility.

Later when the sun is hanging low and she is quiet and sleepy in his arms he brings the subject back up.

“It was never a big ask, Scully.”

“What do you mean?” she asks.

He’s quiet for a moment and his silence makes her look up at him.

“I guess…I think there’s a end in sight, Scully.”

“You mean with the X-Files?”

“Yeah. A natural end, not one brought on by higher ups or office fires.” He sighs and Scully hangs on to every word. “I think it’s an end of my choosing- our choosing- It feels right.”

It’s Scully’s turn to be quiet as she takes it all in.

“What about Samantha?”

He thinks of the clones, of the little girls in the field, of the visions Cancer Man handed him.

“I think there’s a universe out there where she’s happy, where she is loved.” He looks at Scully with a soft smile. “I think I can believe that. I think that’s what I want to believe.”

She smiles back at him.

“It’s not gonna stop me from going looking for Big Foot or aliens or whatever.” She laughs, affectionately rolling her eyes. “But I think the main quest, the main search…I can see an end. I think I’m ready to get out of the car.”

Scully sits up, moving to straddle his hips. Her lips touch his, kissing him slowly. The car stops and Mulder climbs out, the door locking itself behind him.

#the x-files #the x files #txf fic #xfiles fanfiction #soss #season 7 #scullysexualwrites

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jodithann827 · 1 year ago

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He Said What?!?

Rated: General / Posted on Ao3 / @today-in-fic

Summary: What would happen if he heard something he wasn’t supposed to?

Huntsville, Alabama

December 18th, 1998

Motel 6

The slow and steady hum of the radiator vibrates across the cramped confines of the not quite dingy, but not quite pristine motel room. The sun, having set hours before and taking what little warmth the day offered with it, left the room dark, save for the two beside lights and the standard desk lamp which emits a soft glow. The sound of water gargling flows through the closed bathroom door while Assistant Director Walter Skinner sits on one bed, waiting to wash the stink of the day off. Shaking his head slowly, he thinks back to the previous morning. His commute had been a breeze, his secretary was finally back after a detestable stomach flu had held her captive the week before, the Director of the Bureau was in a relatively good mood, and all of the agents under his watch were performing as needed. Yes, it had been the perfect start to the day. Perfect until Fox Mulder barreled into his office (he really needs to put a stop to that) spouting off about alien abductions and mysterious disappearances. The day went so well until 9:48. Why he entertained Mulder’s crazy ideas is beyond his comprehension. Well, that’s not entirely true. As strange as Muder is, Skinner genuinely likes him—not that he would ever divulge that tidbit of information—and, crazy or not, Mulder has proven himself to be an exceptional agent.

As Mulder spouted and Skinner listened, removing his glasses ever so slowly and rubbing his temples at the thought of the impending headache, he thought back to the previous weeks. Weeks in which Mulder killed a man and faked his death, only to reemerge and blow one giant metaphorical hole right in the center of a government conspiracy. That’s not to mention the almost-death and then amazing recovery of Agent Scully, which Skinner still isn’t sure he understands. He’s just thankful that Agent Scully is at home recovering, and will be ready to get back to work in a matter of weeks. Unfortunately, he knew he wouldn’t have the same luck taming the beast that is Fox Mulder as Scully would.

When Mulder finally got to the point and asked Skinner to sign off on the 302, Skinner could hear Scully in the back of his head. Don’t let him go, Sir. He shouldn’t go alone, Skinner. You know what’s going to happen if I’m not there. He found himself nodding at her words, though Mulder mistook his nodding as permission granted. He profusely thanked him and, with the look of a kid on Christmas morning, mentioned something about booking the first flight out and going home to pack before Skinner realized what had transpired. So, out of respect for Agent Scully and a concern for Agent Mulder, that’s what brought him to Huntsville; a crazy X-file with an even crazier agent. Of course, Mulder’d booked the trip so quickly that the only vacant motel in the area had one room, which is how Skinner finds himself with a roommate.

The bathroom door opens, tugging Skinner from his thoughts. Mulder walks out, thankfully dressed in plaid pajama pants and an old shirt, as puffs of steam follow him.

“Bathroom’s free,” he announces, striding over to the black duffle bag placed haphazardly on the side table chair. He rummages around for a minute, then steps back and falls onto his motel bed.

“You know I could have handled this one on my own, Sir,” Mulder insists, as he had the whole plane ride to Alabama, the car ride to the local station, and again on the way to the motel. Skinner glances in his direction and makes a weak attempt to raise his eyebrow like Scully does, which Mulder of course doesn’t notice..

“Two days, Mulder. I’ll give you two days,” Skinner responds, once again shaking his head, as he gets up and departs for the bathroom.

***

Later, as they lay in their beds, not quite ready for sleep, Skinner looks up at the pale white ceiling of the motel room and sighs. “I know you could have handled this on your own, Mulder,” he admits. Even though it’s dark and he isn’t looking in his direction, he knows Mulder is smiling.

“You promised Scully you’d go with me,” Mulder half asks, half states. Skinner chuckles, or at least as much of a chuckle as he’s willing to emit in front of an agent. “I understand, sir,” Mulder assures him. “I know she worries when she can’t be there to have my back. I know I sometimes make rash decisions…” he pauses when Skinner huffs. “Okay, maybe a lot of the time. Thank you, sir, for being willing to come with me instead of denying the case. I appreciate it, and I know Scully does as well.”

“How’s she doing?” Skinner asks, carefully, as he doesn’t like to speak of agents who aren’t present.

He’s been concerned about her since her remission. She called him a week and a half after her discharge, indicating she was fine and ready to be back at work. Skinner had to bite his tongue from saying something he would regret, like Have you completely lost your mind, and then told her in no uncertain terms that she is not to grace the doors of the Hoover building for at least another four weeks, and only then with a doctor's note. She’s still so weak, physically. Even when she returns, he knows she won’t be ready to be in the field right away. He makes a mental note to check for any upcoming conferences he can send them to upon her return, maybe ease her back into work.

“She’s getting stronger every day. I’m pretty sure she kicked her sweet and well-meaning mother out of her house by the second week of her recovery,” Mulder laughs.

Skinner is amazed and wonders how the agents accomplish anything, being two of the most stubborn individuals he has ever had the pleasure of meeting.

“That’s good,” he tells him, then adds, “It’ll be good to have her back. Well, goodnight, Agent Mulder.”

“Goodnight, sir.”

***

Hours later, Skinner awakens to a sound. Unable to identify it at first, he lies motionless, straining his ears. He hears it again. After a few moments, he realizes it’s Mulder, whimpering in his sleep. Recognizing the agent is dreaming and they aren’t in imminent danger, he rolls to his side and tries to go back to sleep. As he’s about to doze off, Mulder’s whimpers become more frenzied.

“Please, no,” Skinner hears from the next bed. He raises his head a bit, checking to see if Mulder has woken up, but the man’s closed eyes and pained expression assures Skinner that he is very much asleep. Unsure of how much longer Mulder’s dream will go on, Skinner attempts to sleep, but is incapable.

“No… can’t. Please… understand,” whines Mulder. Skinner wonders what is going on in that brain of his. He’s using a voice Skinner has never heard. He sounds scared, young, unsure.

“Mm lost,” Mulder continues, and Skinner hears a hitch in his voice. He wonders if Mulder will start crying in his sleep. Maybe he’s dreaming about his sister.

“Without you,” Mulder states.

Nope, Skinner immediately knows who Mulder is thinking about, and he longs for sleep. Of course, he’s suspected it for years. But without evidence, he never wanted to make a big deal out of it. He knows there are tons of wagers and bets floating around the bureau regarding the status of Mulder and Scully’s relationship, but he usually doesn’t pay too much attention to those things.

“Need you,” Mulder's voice pulls Skinner from his thoughts. “Best friend… No die. No happen”.

Skinner realizes Mulder is thinking back to the cancer. He wants to wake him, tell him it’s all okay; Scully is fine and she’s not going anywhere. But he also doesn’t want to startle him or cause him any embarrassment, though there isn’t anything to be embarrassed about, at least not yet.

“Promise me,” he mumbles, followed by a string of gibberish from Mulder’s dream-induced mouth. “Scully… please…love you… me.” Skinner prays sleep takes him that very instant. He knows more than he needs to, more than he should. Apparently, something in Mulder’s dream has calmed him, which Skinner doesn’t care to know, nor does he want to speculate. He realizes Mulder’s breathing has evened out and he is slumbering once more.

Unfortunately, Skinner is now wide awake and can’t get his agents out of his mind. Now that he knows, even though he tells himself there really isn’t anything to know, he quickly decides not to do anything about it. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, as much of a pain in the ass as they—well, he— can be, are his best agents and their dynamic is something not to be messed with. He rolls over again, imploring that he’ll forget every word by morning, but knowing the sounds are burned into his brain forever.

***

Skinner wakes the next morning, wishing and hoping it was a dream, but upon seeing Mulder exit the bathroom, dressed in his suit and ready for the day, he knows it was anything but.

“How did you sleep, sir?” asks Mulder, a look of complete innocence on his face.

“I never sleep as well on the road as I do at home,” Skinner replies, sitting up and stretching. The morning sun is attempting to peek through the drawn curtains. Well, now or never, Skinner thinks to himself. “Hey, Mulder,” he says, his voice strong, but slightly tentative, as if testing the waters. Mulder looks in his direction, eyebrows knit, waiting for him to speak. Oh to hell with it, he thinks. “Mulder, did you know you talk in your sleep?”

Mulder’s eyebrows reach so high they almost touch the top of his forehead as his eyes bulge from their sockets. I’ll take that as a no, Skinner muses. Mulder stares at his boss for a minute, and Skinner almost feels sorry for him seeing the terrified look of pure dread adorning his face.

“What did I, uh… did I say anything, uh…” he fumbles over his words, trying to find the right ones to ask.

Skinner smiles slightly and decides that as much fun as this could be, he’ll go easy on Mulder, just this once. “You said a few words and mumbled a bit. I’m surprised no one has mentioned it to you before. I just thought you should know.”

Lifting himself from the bed, he staggers toward the bathroom to get ready for whatever this ridiculous day has in store for him. He turns slightly to look at the younger man. They’re idiots, these agents of his, but they’re his idiots, and for now, Mulder's secret is safe with him. He’ll be ready whenever Mulder feels free enough to talk about it.

#fox mulder #dana scully #the x files fanfic #msr #walter skinner #talking in his sleep #he said what?

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television-overload · 1 year ago

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Find the Word (Love Themed) tag

Ooh, I love this!! I'm gonna pull from my X-Files WIP (officially hit 60,000 words!) because I've been knee deep in working on it all weekend and am getting close to being done, I can feel it! (then I can finally get back to that NCIS project)

Thanks for the tag @hopeless-nostalgiac !

The rules are simple, find the given words in your writing (WIP, Published, a college essay - it doesn't matter) or something close enough (I think conjugating verbs and finding synonyms are both fair game) share an excerpt, and tag some friends and some new words to play too.

Words for me to find:

Date, Kiss, Bed or Bedroom, Love, Promise

Words for you to find:

Embrace, Feelings, Heart, Kiss, Gaze

Tagging: @randomfoggytiger @indestinatus @deathsbestgirl @numinousmysteries @agent-troi @skelavender @baronessblixen

All of these will be from my X-Files MSR adoption fic, so if you like what you see here... stay tuned. For some of these words, there were MANY options to choose from. That's all I'm going to say.

Date:

What had he been thinking? He asked her out without even sparing it a thought, not realizing how it would sound. To be going out on a date with your best friend who is technically your wife? Langly and Frohike were right. He is an idiot.

Kiss:

Scully is looking up at him, the only sign of her own internal turmoil being the way she bites her lip and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. He wants to kiss her, oh, does he want to kiss her. But this is where the line between real and fake goes gray.

Bed:

He re-enters the bedroom as quietly as possible, and can tell by the uneven rise and fall of her chest that she's still awake. With a boldness he doesn't quite feel, he slides onto the bed beside her, adjusting the sheets over his chest.

Love: (I'm gatekeeping all the obvious ones hehehe, have a cryptic one instead)

The question mark at the end of the sentence is written on her face, and he finally makes the connection. Do you love her? she's asking. He grabs her hand, cupping it between his own much larger ones, and stares deep into her eyes. He won't lie, not to her.

Promise: (gatekeeping on this one too)

Mulder moves to stand without another moment’s hesitation, bouncing up with far more energy than a man of his age should have. “Thank you, sir. I promise, this is the last time we ask you to cover for us.” “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Agent Mulder,” Skinner warns.

Oh, what the heck. Tagging @today-in-fic too.

#tag game #find the word tag #find the word (love theme)#my fanfiction #msr #txf #x files #xf fanfic #fox mulder #dana scully #msr adoption fic

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oohnotvery · 1 year ago

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Throwing Good After Bad (Chapter 22)

Mulder

Mulder expects a few things upon their return to D.C.: a procedural ass-kicking served up by OPR; a few official reprimands added to his file; and a suspension, maybe even—God forbid—termination.

He anticipates much of it correctly, and after a heated verbal spar with Skinner and Kersh, he and Scully accept their punishment—four weeks without pay. Leave your gun and badge with security. Don’t come near the Hoover for at least a month. Ignore the rubbernecking from your colleagues as you exit the building in a wash of anger and embarrassment. Forget the fact that Kersh didn’t receive a lick of punishment himself.

“At least,” Mulder says to Scully as they part ways in the parking garage, “they’ve got Evan on attempted murder.”

Scully’s lips purse thoughtfully. “I wonder if the court will take into consideration the fact that he saved your life.”

Mulder shrugs. “Reduction in sentence?”

They nod in agreement. There’s an awkward pause as they stand on opposite sides of Scully’s car, staring at each other.

See you in a month doesn’t seem right, not after what they’ve been through. But neither does please come back to my place so I can fuck the hell out of you.

By some unspoken agreement, they part in a strange middle ground—a friendly wave, a sympathetic smile, a promise to call.

None of it surprises him too much, not at first. He expected their punishment, even predicted Kersh’s absolution of guilt. What he didn’t expect was what followed.

They’re a week into their suspension and he hasn’t seen Scully since they parted in the garage. A few days ago, she told him over the phone that she would be seeing her mother soon. Maybe she decided to stay for a few days?

It’s with an uncharacteristic sense of self-preservation that he refrains from calling too frequently. You’re not supposed to look too eager, right? That’s one of the rules of dating? Are they dating? Fuck if he knows.

Apart from his burns, bullet wound, concussion, and severe dehydration, things had been pretty perfect in the hospital. To the consternation of the hospital staff, Scully had slept in his bed with him every night. They had been inseparable, as they should be. He mostly assumed that once they got home and Scully gave him clean bill of health, they would jump right in, taking this starved thing raging between them and giving it life.

Hell, he thinks as he bounces a basketball aimlessly up and down his living room, everyone at the Hoover building who thinks they’re sleeping together would be in for a fun surprise.

On day seven, he caves and calls her twice, and when she doesn’t answer either her cell or her landline, he starts to fidget.

“What the hell, Scully?” he considers yelling into her answering machine, but claps his mouth shut at the last second.

On day eight, he gives up and calls Maggie Scully. And blessing of all blessings, the woman reassures him that her daughter is staying with her.

“Oh,” Mulder says quietly, suddenly feeling awkward. “. . . . can I talk to her?” He feels like a teenage boy trying to get on the phone with the girl he wants to take to prom.

Maggie hesitates and he feels his stomach clench.

“Mrs. Scully?” he prompts nervously.

She sighs gently. “Fox, why don’t you just come over?”

He blinks. “Okay,” he agrees. “But can you tell me—is everything alright?” If he’s going to do this, he wants to know what he’s walking into.

“I think you’d better just come over,” she repeats evasively.

After a quick shower and an ill-conceived attempt to put some food into his jittery stomach, he’s on the road. Some time later, he stands on Maggie’s front porch, heart clattering in his ribcage. She opens the door with an overly sympathetic smile, and that’s when he knows something is truly wrong.

“What’s going on?” he asks, his eyes scanning the living room and kitchen for signs of his partner.

“She’s upstairs,” Maggie says gently, placing a hand on his forearm. “You can go see her,” she says off his questioning look. “But Fox . . . .”

“What is it?”

Maggie licks her lips uneasily, and it’s like staring at Scully’s double. “She’s not doing well.”

A shadow blooms in his chest and he nods tightly. He takes the stairs two at a time, dipping his head into each room. He’s generally unfamiliar with the layout of the Scully house but eventually finds his partner in one of the back rooms. She’s lying in bed, a remote in one hand, her eyes impassively glued to the T.V., which appears to be playing some kind of soap opera.

“Scully?” he says quietly, tapping his knuckles on the door.

She startles, her eyes growing wide as she takes him in. Her mouth opens in surprise and she scrambles up the bed, a red flush blooming on her cheeks. With profiler’s eyes, Mulder observes her quickly—rumpled, unkempt hair; face devoid of makeup; pajamas still on in the middle of the day; curtains shut tight against the windows.

“I wasn’t expecting you. I would’ve dressed,” she stutters out.

He moves to the bed and takes a seat beside her, twisting to meet her eyes. Her normally bright blue irises have clouded over, and although he can tell she’s trying really hard to excuse her appearance, he sees right through her.

“Scully,” he says gently, lifting a palm to her face. With his thumb, he circles the apple of her cheek before leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead. Her skin feels hot on his lips. When he pulls back, there is a glisten of tears in her eyes. “Hey, hey, what’s going on?”

She presses her lips together and shakes her head. It takes her a moment to regain the composure that she values so highly, and he waits patiently as she breathes through her emotions.

Finally, she swallows, then speaks. “I keep going back to that day,” she whispers. Her eyes flick between his own. “I spent a whole day thinking you were dead.” Her lower lip trembles. “Thinking you had died in this terrible, violent, horrifying way.”

She presses a palm to her chest and sucks in a breath, her shoulders shuddering as she releases it. He leans into her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and drawing her in. He can feel the rapid beat of her heart against his.

“I can hardly breathe with the memory of it,” she confesses softly.

His stomach drops as he considers that she has been silently suffering with this pain for over a week now. She turns her head so her cheek rests against his shoulder. After a moment, she speaks.

“What was it like for you?” she murmurs. “Those final moments, before you knew you were being rescued?”

His eyebrows crease and he pulls back, shaking his head gently. “No, Scully,” he says. “No, I’m not going to relive that with you.”

She grips his hand tightly and her eyes penetrate him, demanding information in a way he’s never seen before. “Please,” she begs. “I need to know.”

He studies her for a long moment, then sighs, dropping his gaze. “Scully, no,” he says with finality. He stares down at her hand for a long time, stroking her knuckles as he considers what she needs. When he’s ready, he glances back up at her. “We’ve spent years being chased by death. We’ve both come pretty damn close a dozen or so times.” He pauses, the words caught in his throat. “But for the first time in my life, I thought I was really, truly, finally at the end.” Scully bites her lip hard. “But I got to keep living, Scully. I got to keep living and I get to keep doing life with you. So I won’t focus on death, or what was almost taken from us. I’m going to focus on what’s living, what’s right in front of me.”

A single tear trickles down her cheek and he waits, wondering if she will accept this or fight him on it. She rubs her thumb into the skin of his hand in endless circles and he resists the urge to subdue her nervous energy. Finally, she leans forward, tipping her head to his chest.

“I keep thinking that if I knew how it was for you in those final moments, I’d have some sort of resolution,” she says.

“I don’t think that’s going to help you.”

She beats her fist into his chest, but it’s without any real strength. “I just keep reliving that moment of Lydia dragging me away from you.”

He pets her hair soothingly. He has received some training in trauma processing and for years, he has known that eventually, one of their near-death experiences would catch up to them. But re-experiencing this event isn’t doing her any good.

“Scully, look at me,” he insists, tipping her chin up. “I’m here. Right in front of you. I didn’t die and I—I believe I wasn’t meant to. Whether it’s due to your God or the Fates or simply the result of very good luck, I’m alive.” He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “But you know what I really believe?”

She tilts her head to the side in question.

“I believe that it was you, Scully. I think you saved me. I think you always have.”

She shakes her head critically, her nose crinkling at his nonsense. “I believed you died, Mulder. It wasn’t like during my coma when I—when I had the strength of your belief that I would live.”

He smiles at the memory. “That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is . . . we’re meant to be together. Whatever that looks like,” he quickly clarifies. “And deep down, I don’t think your soul wanted to accept that it had lost mine here on earth.”

She stares at him hard for a long minute, and then, miracle of miracles, rolls her eyes. “Mulder, that is such crap.”

He barks out a laugh, relieved to see some of his Scully returning. He winks. “Just making sure you still have your wits about you.”

She bites her lip, shaking her head with a slight smile. “You’re right about one thing,” she concedes, and the air around them grows serious again. “We’re meant to be together.”

He clasps the back of her head and pulls her into a hug.

Mulder shuts off the soaps on T.V. and after a time, Scully falls asleep beside him. When she’s dozing peacefully, he retreats downstairs to make a coffee.

Mrs. Scully looks nervous as he wanders into the kitchen. “How is she?” she immediately asks.

He smiles to himself, nodding. “She’s going to be fine.”

Mrs. Scully’s shoulders collapse with relief. “She’s only told me bits and pieces, Fox. How bad—how bad was it this time?”

He cringes a little, avoiding her gaze. “Ah, it was not—not one of our better days,” he replies cautiously.

When he looks back up, Mrs. Scully is staring at him with a mix of regret and relief. They sit at the table and share a pot of coffee, both avoiding the topic of Scully and their investigation. He’s about to rise and take a cup of coffee up to Scully when he hears the patter of bare feet on the kitchen tile. He turns.

Scully tips her hand in a quick wave. He’s relieved to see that she has showered and changed into jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, which makes her look instantly more like herself. Her mother rises to kiss her on the cheek and then excuses herself from the table. Scully helps herself to a cup of coffee and then tilts her head towards the living room in invitation. He follows her there, settling in beside her on the couch. She sips at her drink for a few quiet moments, and he can’t help but notice the way color seems to be returning to her face.

“It’s nice to see you,” he finally says, hoping he sounds more casual than he’s feeling.

She hides her smile with the dip of her chin. “I think . . . I think it was wrong of me to isolate myself,” she admits.

He stretches and shrugs. He won’t pretend he wasn’t wounded by her long absence, nor will he act like she hasn’t hurt herself by staying away. But now that the concern and fear he felt on the drive here have faded, he feels the return of that familiar tension between them. But this time, it’s strung more tightly than it’s ever been before.

“When are you coming back to D.C.?” he finally asks.

He half-expects her to hem and haw around the issue, to tell him she needs more time. He grits his teeth in preparation. But her eyes flit to his and he sees a slight dance to them, a little mischief there.

She smiles knowingly. “I was thinking tonight, actually.”

His eyebrows rise. “Oh?” He tries his damnedest to sound casual, but he hears the ache and longing in his voice.

She sets her cup on the coffee table and scoots up until their knees are touching. “I don’t think,” she says evenly, “that it’s good for either of us to be alone right now.”

He huffs a little laugh. “I could have told you that a week ago.”

She rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “So, Mulder.” She fixes him with a meaningful look. “Want to keep me company tonight?”

His eyes don’t leave hers. “Your place or mine?”

She grins, and although neither of them is anywhere close to healed, he can see the light returning to her eyes.

“Mine.”

#msr #msr fanfic #x files #mulder x scully #txf #dana scully #the x files #x files fanfic #fox mulder #xfiles fanfic

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iamprchung · 1 year ago

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Dancing in the Moonlight 6/?

Synopsis:

From the lofty recesses of Aspen, where luxury collides with a trail of vicious attacks, FBI agents Mulder and Scully interview a jittery waitress who whispers of hidden darkness within the resort. Following cryptic leads, they face off with a grieving relative, fiercely protective of the official investigation. As tensions rise and the truth remains elusive, a chilling question hangs in the air: are these savage attacks the work of nature, or something far more sinister lurking in the shadows?

Notes:

To split or not to split, this has been the constant, burning question during the entire writing process of this part. This has gone through four rewrites trying to whittle it down, but it’s not going to farewell if I don’t treat it right. I’m still darkly chuckling about where this has come considering it was supposed to be a quick one and done, born of a single scene idea… one of which has not even occurred yet, and making me mad and feverish to reach!

Speaking of feverish… Yes! Skinner is showing up – God as my witness, that man will be in this this story – and not for something lame, like a cameo!

And as a matter of fact, I did consider naming this part ‘From Monster to Moron.’

Dancing in the Moonlight 6/? – Spirit Animals

By PR Chung

Amanda Payne, or Andie as she preferred, exhibited signs of what could be past trauma, traits that became evident during her interactions as she guided Mulder and Scully through the Spectrum Lunate kitchen.

Along their route through the restaurant kitchen, the looks thrown by Andie’s co-workers were undeniable. At first, it seemed like circumspection or curiosity, as word spread about the FBI investigation, but it soon became apparent there was an air of disapproval and even mockery cast toward Andie.

Moving out of the kitchen area and the acute attention of other employees, Andie’s nervous chatter transitioned from the mundane about back-of-the-house operations and became more focused, with a hint of bitterness, as she remarked on the deaths of her friend and co-workers.

“This was Jeff’s area,” Andie pointed out as led them through the large, busy kitchen, “but this isn’t even all of it.” She gestured toward two steel doors, “The freight elevator, direct line to the delivery bay and main storage.”

“He managed all of this?” Scully asked, impressed.

“Oh, yes,” Andie nodded enthusiastically, “The supplies, inventory, food deliveries, lots of responsibilities.”

“Who’s managing this now?” Mulder asked.

Andie glanced toward the kitchen, hesitating before she answered. “Marty. Marty Kolwalski, he does… at least until they find a new manager. Maybe Mr. Gunderson will make him the new manager.”

“Gunderson?” Mulder repeated the name. “As in Mayor Gunderson?”

Andie squinted and dipped her chin. “Yep. Yep, one in the same. He’s part owner here, in the resort. But he’s pretty much in charge of hospitality.”

“Do we take the elevator?” Scully asked Andie, wondering about their route.

“No, Jeff didn’t go that way… that night,” she explained tentatively, “He, um, he went this way, down the stairs. I’ll show you.” She led them through a doorway and into a stark stairwell, the sound of distant motorized equipment ricocheting up through concrete.

Andie motioned for them to follow her, continuing, “See, he took the stairs. He was always going a different way around here. You’d never know where you’d run into him, which way he was coming or going. He didn’t like a lot of attention, and I think… I think that’s what got him killed, being secret like and taking that shortcut.”

Scully glanced at Mulder. This sounded like a purposely varied routine. “Andie, did he ever say anything about being followed or being concerned for his safety?”

Andie looked back at Scully, frowning confusedly at the question. “No.”

“Are you or any of the other employees concerned about safety?” Mulder asked, “Have you or anyone else seen something on the resort grounds that concerned or scared you. Anything strange?”

Andie hesitated, glancing back at him. “Strange? Like what?”

“An animal, or something animal-like, maybe something no one had seen before?”

Andie shook her head, working her mouth before she replied, “uh, yeah, I mean, we seen all kinds of animals around here, but… we never saw a mountain lion if that’s what you mean.”

“Not exactly…”

“You or none of the other employees have ever felt threatened here?” Scully broke in, shifting away from Mulder’s line of questions. “By any of the local wildlife?”

“Oh, you know, you gotta be careful,” Andie answered in a sing-song tone, “they can be really cute, especially those little baby bear cubs, but wow, momma would not like you hugging on one, I’ll tell you that.”

“Did you know Alice Steinman,” Scully ventured.

Andie’s mood shifted, dropping at the mere mention of the name. She nodded, “She was my friend. Alice was my dearest and only friend.” She hesitated, coming to a stop on the stairs, the slightest smile touching her mouth, “she was my spirit animal.”

“Your spirit animal?” Mulder asked.

“Yeah, like, you know, some people have actual spirit animals, like eagles or bears…”

Mulder nodded, “Or wolves?”

“Yeah,” Andie agreed enthusiastically, “like that, but Alice, she was my spirit animal. She really took care of stuff, she had a plan, and she didn’t take shit off anyone that gave it to her. She was fierce, but…” Andie hesitated, lost in thought for a moment. “She was kind, though.” She looked at Mulder and Scully. “She was really kind to me.”

“Andie,” Mulder said in a careful tone, “Back in the bar, Marty mentioned that she had gone to see her ex that night, at the Sonder Hill facility. Did she go there often?”

“Alice went to see Randy a lot,” Andie explained, slowly starting back down the stairs.

“Randy… her ex?”

“Yeah, Randy Rabb, you know,” Andie explained, her mood lifting, “the guitarist for Osculate.”

She looked back at the agents for a reaction. Neither reacted and Andie was clearly shocked. “Osculate?” The band was obviously not in the agent’s CD rotation. “They did ‘Long, Long Lick.’ You gotta know that one?”

“My BMG club selections haven’t come in yet this month,” Mulder offered with a shrug.

“Sonder Hill is a addiction rehabilitation facility,” Scully stated, “Andie, could Alice have possibly supplying Randy with drugs?”

Andie came to an abrupt halt on the stairs, turning to look at Scully with a scowl. “She wouldn’t have done that!” She declared defensively. “She wanted him to get out, to get back with the band. Him and Alice were going to get back together when things were better.”

“Did Jeff ever go with her to visit Randy?”

“No.” Andie said tightly and turned, starting back down the stairs with a weighted gate. “They didn’t talk anymore after he was made manager.”

“Was she in line for the position?” Scully asked taking an extra step or two to align herself with Andie on the stairs.

The woman drew back, her expression pinched. “It was Alice that should have been manager, yeah. She really knew this place, how it worked inside and out. She would have been an awesome manager.”

“But Jeff got the job instead, why?”

“She shot down that handsy…” Andie paused, glancing back up the stairs cautiously before she continued more quietly, “that handsy Gunderson, Jimmy. That’s why she didn’t get the job.”

“Alice turned down his advances,” Scully asserted.

“Like a million times. He was always creeping her out, coming into the bar and following her, wanting hugs, and asking her out. She’d had it and told him the honest to God truth one night.”

Andie looked at Scully, saying, “she said she regretted that, telling him the truth.”

They reached the bottom of the stairway, where it opened to a utilitarian space. A garage bay stretched to the left, while a push bar door stood sentinel straight ahead. The sounds of motorized equipment now loudly filling the concrete space, crashing in from the delivery bay.

“Did he ever threaten her, or do anything to hurt her?” Mulder asked Andie.

“No, I don’t think so,” Andie frowned thoughtfully. “She never said he did, and I never saw him do anything other than be a creep, you know.”

“Andie!” a male voice shouted down the stairwell, making her jump and whimper. “You done showing those agents around yet?”

“That’s Marty, I’m going to have to go, I can’t show you all the way,” she told them. “But honest, I didn’t want to go out there anyway.” She hurriedly pointed toward the exit door with a shaky hand. “Got out that door, and It’s the wooded area straight across, that’s where… that’s how Jeff went. Straight across to employee parking.”

“Andie!” Marty shouted again.

“I gotta go,” she said and headed for the stairs, leaving Mulder and Scully behind.

Speechless, they watched her climb the stairs at breakneck pace. A beat passed before they exchanged a wordless look.

Finally, with a grin, Mulder told Scully, “I’m torn between running out to get Osculate’s latest album and getting an audience with the elusive Mayor James W. Gunderson.”

“Mulder, I’m not certain if what that woman has told us can be taken for fact. I believe she’s suffering from either post trauma or a dissociative disorder, conditions that manifest in ways that blur the lines between reality and memory.”

“That doesn’t lessen the importance of what she’s told us.” Mulder retorted. “She just seemed nervous and upset.”

“It certainly lessens the validity of it.” Scully proclaimed.

“Scully, this man, the mayor, Gunderson, has a connection with all three victims.”

“It’s a relatively small town, Mulder,” Scully said. “The man, who I might note you have not even met, being part owner in the resort, and works in the city offices, is circumstantial in itself when it comes to him being connected to the victims. It’s not an incrimination.”

Mulder declared, walking into the delivery bay, his voice nearly drowned out by the cacophony of noise.

The delivery area was a symphony of organized chaos. Trucks occupied four bays, a waiting line forming behind them. Trailers aligned with the dock apron were hurriedly offloaded by forklift, headed for the refrigeration and storage lining the apron. On the far side of the dock, the open freight elevator stood open and at the ready, a hungry maw for the next kitchen delivery.

“Some operation,” Mulder observed before turning back to the exit Andie had directed them to.

“I need to point out that Skinner was adamant about not pursuing your… theory any further. We need to focus on the facts of the case during the investigation. There’s already been one complaint…”

“And I’m sure there will be more the closer we get to what’s being covered up in this town.” Mulder declared as they went through the exist door, stepping into the openness of the resort back property.

The sound of music filled the air, drifting down from above them. They looked up seeing the restaurant terrace, perched on sturdy timbers, stretching out over an ever-increasing wooded area, lunch patrons barely visible along the edges, and the tail-tale signs of a band set up and playing to the guests.

“Lively place,” Mulder commented, squinting upward at the restaurant terrace.

“If a band was playing the night of Raven’s death…” Scully postulated, “likely no one would have heard him call out.”

“But did he have a chance to call for help?” Mulder wondered aloud, scanning their surroundings, viewing clutches of woods peppered throughout, a narrow walk gated off from the rest of the resort that meandered far to the right leading to the parking lot, a steep hill rose up to the left leading up under the restaurant terrace.

“It’s no wonder Raven took a shortcut,” Scully observed.

“Come on, Scully, let’s see what’s in these spooky old woods.”

---------------------------- xXx-------------------------------

Entering the woods that separated the resort from employee parking, they quickly recognized the location of Raven’s death, where on branches remnants of crime scene tape fluttered in the breeze. At the base of a tree a makeshift memorial had been created with colorful plastic flowers, candles, cards, and objects appearing both personal and symbolic tributes.

“Ironic for a man who didn’t like to bring attention to himself.” Scully observed.

Mulder added, “Not to mention the attention his death alone stirred up.” He crouched before the memorial, studying its contents briefly. From among the items, he picked up a small stuffed animal that was clearly a wolf. Holding the toy up into Scully’s view, “not actual size?”

Scully sighed purposefully, “You know what they say, Mulder. Size matters...”

“You shouldn’t touch that,” a man’s voice sounded from behind them, immediately turning their attention from the memorial.

A man stood at the edge of the woods, watching them. Older, with silver hair pulled back in a short ponytail, he was dressed plainly in a plaid shirt and jeans, a large silver buckle glinting in sunlight peeking through the treetops. His face was lined and ridged by age and sun exposure, his features of almond eyes, strong nose and high cheek bones spoke of his native American heritage.

“Why?” Mulder asks, “because of its spiritual properties, a supernatural connection between the deceased and the spiritual plane?”

The man stared at him; his voice laced with annoyance. “Because his sister left it here for her brother, you moron. How would you like someone taking the flowers off your loved one’s graves?”

“No, no I wouldn’t” Mulder got the point and offered a thin apologetic smile as he carefully put the stuffed animal back among the memorial. He stood and took a quick step back as the man approached.

“What business have you got here?” He questioned, clearly irritated. Without giving them a chance to speak, he went on while he bent to straighten items in the memorial. “You two come down from that hotel to see where a man was torn to pieces? Going to go back home to your suburbs and tell the story to your friends over wine and cheese?”

Both agents had pulled their identification out while the man was talking. “Actually, sir,” Scully said drawing his attention, “we’re investigating the recent deaths. I’m special agent Scully and my partner, agent Mulder.”

“Are you related to Jeffery Raven?” Mulder asked.

The man straightened slowly, “I’m his grandfather, Joseph Raven.” He looked between them, and squinted at their IDs, lingering for a moment before speaking. “FBI. Why are you investigating Jeff’s death?”

“Not just his death, but the two other attacks.” Scully explained.

Joseph nodded, thoughtfully considering them. “So, you, the government, doesn’t believe the Sheriff is doing his job?”

“Do you believe the Sheriff and his department are doing their job?” Mulder asked, reflecting the man’s challenging tone.

“Yes.” The man straightened, his expression growing harder.

“Sir,” Scully interceded, forcing a pleasantness that she could barely muster that drew the man’s attention. “We’re not hear to question the Sheriff or his department’s competence in this matter.”

“Then what are you here to do?”

“To determine if your grandson and the others were murdered.” Joseph Raven looked at Mulder, who concluded, “And assure no one else dies.”

“Everyone dies eventually.”

“Sir, did your grandson ever mention if he was concerned for his safety for any reason?” Scully’s voice was growing lower, her patience wearing.

“No, he never said anything.”

“What about something, anything in the woods?”

Scully closed her eyes and shook her head, so badly wanting to scold Mulder. “Don’t…” she internally begged.

“Jeffery grew up here, in these hills, these woods, with the wildlife.” Joseph explained sincerely. “There are always risks in these parts. Animals are unpredictable, just like people.”

“You’re a member of the Ute.” Mulder straight out asked the man. “Am I wrong?”

Joseph was stone-faced. “I am.”

“Your people, you trace your origins to a half man and half wolf. Is such a creature stalking these woods?”

Scully half turned from the unfolding scene, touching her head that was beginning to ache.

“Creature?” The man said, offended. “The Creator does not stalk woods or kill people like some Hollywood monster. Government, my grandfather talked about the Creator, about Sinawav. He talked about retribution for a man’s bad behavior, told stories about wrong doers and those that strayed from the path…” Joseph took a step closer to Mulder, giving the agent an intense glare. “My grandfather was ninety-four years old and senile as hell.”

Mulder considered the man, unaffected. “Had your grandson strayed from the path?”

Joseph Raven took a moment, closing his eyes and lowering his head, gathering an inner strength for which Mulder was testing. “My grandson was a successful man,” he finally said, raising his head, turning to address Scully, “I was very proud of him for achieving what all of us were denied. This is all I know.”

The man began to walk away and stopped, half turning to look at Mulder. “I’m going to try not to be insulted that you reduced me and my culture to a stereotype. And I will consider not reporting you to the federal government for these insults.” Joseph turned then to Scully, “You really should put in for a different partner, this guy is going to drag you down.”

With that, Joseph Raven walked away from the agents, leaving the woods to enter a utility truck parked in the employee lot. It took only a moment before for the engine to roar to life and the tires squeal as the man aggressively backed up and pulled away.

“Great, Mulder, now we’ve pissed off the native population—” Scully’s scorn was interrupted by the honk of a horn.

“Hey!” They turned in the direction of the shout, seeing Kessler waving from the window of his SUV in the parking area.

Jake Goodman leaned into view, a big smile on his face as he waved at them.

“You two just going to hang out in the woods all afternoon?”

---------------------------- xXx-------------------------------

To be continued… and continued… and continued…

#dancing in the moonlight #the x files #xfiles #the xfiles #skinner #scully #skinner scully fanfic #walter skinner #xfiles fanfic #mulder

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medusapelagia · 2 years ago

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Prompt one: I can’t pretend anymore

(I’m posting this from the hospital so please be kind 😅)

This is not happening. It is absolutely not!

It is not.

“Sorry.. what did you say?” Steve asks, looking confused.

“You heard me. It’s over.”

“But… why?”

“Why? Are you really asking me why, Steve? Well if you want to know it’s because I’m fucking tired! I’m tired of lying, I’m tired of hiding and I can’t pretend anymore!”

“But… you told me we were fine.”

Eddie snaps “I devoted two years of my life! I stayed in this fucking town for you! I buried all my dreams because I thought that one day you were gonna to finally wake up and look into my eyes and tell me that you love me! But you didn’t! You never did! And what am I supposed to do? Waiting for you forever?!”

Steve shivers.

He knew that Eddie was waiting for him, that he stayed when the others left, but he never understood how much time had passed. How long they have been dancing around each other. He thought that they had all the time in the world.

But now Eddie is looking at him with angry tears in his eyes and a beaten bag at his feet.

“Are you leaving me?”

What a stupid thing to ask! Of course he is! He just told him so!

Steve doesn’t move, scared that if he moves Eddie will disappear forever.

“Yes Steve. I’m leaving. Wayne found a job for me with him in Oregon, I’m going to take the van and I’m leaving.” He takes a deep breath “I love you. I love you so fucking much but I deserve more than being your dirty little secret.”

Steve nods. He knows that Eddie deserves something better. He knows that he deserves the world, but he is too scared to give it to him.

He looks at him for the last time. Something inside him is screaming, telling him to get on his knees and ask for forgiveness, but he doesn’t.

Eddie sniffs and finally moves, slowly, toward the door.

“I wish you the best, Harrington.”

He nods again, while he feels a lump in the throat.

***

Four fucking months.

Four months of watching the closed door with a homemade sign that says EDDIE.

Four months of pre-made dinner because there is no point in cooking for one.

Four months of sulking, these are Robin’s words.

“Have you tried to call him?”

“For telling him what? That I’m a fucking moron? That I’m a coward? That I can kill monsters but I’m unable to admit my own feelings?!”

“This could be a good start.”

He should call him. Just to know how he is.

But he doesn’t.

He is a coward.

***

Keith gives him some holidays and Robin comes to take him on an adventure.

She doesn’t tell him where they are going and what he has to pack so he brings everything, from the sunscreen to the parka.

They relax on the beach, they hike through the mountains. Robin is driving. Robin is driving her little car that is so full of stuff that Steve is surprised that it can manage to drive to the peak of a stupid mountain.

When they finally stop, they are in front of an old cabin.

“I know we are poor, but I assure you that we can afford a motel. We don’t have to sleep in a creepy house where at least one murdered already happened.

Robin is still in the car.

“What? Are you leaving me here in the middle of nowhere?! It’s not funny Rob!”

He turns toward the car but she is already leaving, his bag is on the floor with some flowers she insisted on buying at the gas station.

The door behind him opens and he is face to face with the man that occupied his dreams for the last four months.

“Harrington? What the fuck?”

“I’m a moron. And a coward. And living with you is hell. And I miss everything! Even your mess! Please forgive me!”

The words come out of his mouth without even giving him the time to think about them, and that is a good thing! He doesn’t have time to analyze every single thing. He just… said it. As he should have all this months ago.

“These are for me?” Eddie asks, looking at the flowers.

“Robin buyed them.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“They are for you.”

He smiles.

Eddie is skinner, even if his arms are still strong and he can still see the blue line of his veins.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” He replies “But if you want to go back to how it was…”

Steve shakes his head “You were right. You deserved more and I was a fucking idiot. But if you will give me another possibility I’ll do my best!”

Please, please, please give me another possibility, Steve hopes with all his soul.

“Actually… I’m leaving. I’m not made to leave in Oregon and Garreth and Jeff asked me to move to LA with them. Trying to make it big, you know?”

Steve nods.

He is too late.

He is four months too late.

“What… what’s your opinion on sandy beaches and oceans?”

Steve eyes shine with joy “Are you asking me… Are… are you sure?”

“Have you look at yourself in the mirror lately Harrington? You are a mess! It’s clear that you can’t survive without me!”

He hugs him tight, kissing him on the lips.

It’s just a peck but it’s enough.

“I love beaches…” he replies on his lips.

#myfic #steddie #prompt #angst with happy ending #tumblr ideas #tumblr prompt

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 11 months ago

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s3 episode 14 "grotesque" thoughts

okay, i didn’t watch an episode yesterday. so the thought of being reunited encourages me. although i’m still a bit bitter about the last episode, i guess considering it some sort of cosmic “opposite day” makes it more palatable. still. new episode!!

well. new to ME, at least!

and it mentioned gargoyles in the description?? the stone fellows? i actually think gargoyles are cool as hell. some of them look wretched on purpose- which i am less fond of- but others are very cute.

but i’m unaware of them possessing any sort of life or supernatural capability beyond being funky little guys. and to me, they don’t look like creatures who have a craving for blood. perhaps mulder knows something i do not…

we open on a naked man. he’s quite beautiful. posing for some art students. good way to make some decent money, if you’re comfortable doing such a thing.

a guy in the corner is drawing furiously and trembling. but he’s drawing a spoooooky creature and not the handsome man we see on the screen!

AUGH he sliced his finger and IS DRAWING with the BLOOD?? no ma’am. no ma’am.

the trembling blood artist is rushing out and running into people. and we see a gargoyle on top of the building he is leaving!!! an ominous sign? or a nice little guy?

handsome model man is getting in a car in a back alley. we hear a thunk. oh no. i see where this is going…. someone in a mask jumps on him

the artist wakes up. his name is john. and the FBI bursts in, mulder included! john bites someone who is arresting him!! yowch!

his room is full of very spooky drawings, covering the walls and everything. all gargoyle looking creatures. hey, maybe he’s goth??? you thought about that?? maybe he streams the cocteau twins and doodles some creatures... can’t a guy have hobbies?

not defending the killing of people. just the freaky drawings.

some guy takes a picture off of the wall, then he finds john's artist knife thingy and it’s covered in blood. the question is: is it his own? because we did see him slice that finger.

mulder's office time. so this john is an immigrant from uzbekistan, but he spent almost a decade in an insane asylum.

SCULLY IN RED!!! SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. WOW!

she says this guy killed at least 7 people. and apparently he claimed to be possessed, which is a thing that lots of killers do to distance themselves from their crimes. seems plausible to me.

skinner name drop!!!!!!!! he was the one that put them on this case. good to know he’s still around, tasking them with things.

(it seems i have grown fond of skinner, despite our tumultuous time together. i am sure my feelings towards him will continue to fluctuate)

so john has been in custody for 5 days, BUT yesterday, another killing took place with the same signature face gashes. who did it!!

off to da prison. scully asks john why he isn’t using his bed. and it is because john is drawing on the floor. also the light hurts his eyes, but i think that would make sense if you were stuck in a dark room for many days.

he says that this creature he’s drawing was the one who killed those men and everyone knows his name. perhaps the devil, mulder suggests? no no, says john. it. scully’s like “well it’s fingerprints weren’t on the murder weapon; yours were” gag him a little…

but john calls them both fools. rude!

scully asks if that is what happened yesterday- that it attacked again, and killed another victim in the same fashion- and john starts really freaking out because that means “it found somebody new”. so if it keeps jumping from guy to guy, i’m not sure we can ever really stop this thing short of an exorcism. if it really exists, that is.

the agents get called out by bill, who was the dude taking the drawings off the walls at the crime scene and who found the knife. he’s being mean to mulder, asking him if it was aliens. hmm. not sure i’m supposed to like his guy.

but scully knows who he is, and says it’s an honor to meet him; he's famous for his FBI work. he asks if she also thinks it’s spirits, and she says no, and bill says well that’s strange company you keep. a shameless dig right in front of the man they speak of!

mulder looks sad more than angry, and says that no one would ever guess how mean-spirited bill is. and yes! maybe he can write a good book but damn, he’s being a jerk!

bill is offended by the possession theory because he worked on that case for three years and blah blah blah. doesn’t explain the second murder. bill claims that both murderers were acting alone. um okay?? that doesn’t make sense because then how would they have the same markings…

mulder is pissed at this guy and i don’t blame him. bill says john draws the gargoyles to keep the evil spirit away, mulder points out that is what they have been used for in the past, which pisses bill off further. scully is watching all of this like wtf. and he’s with some other dude who is staring at scully in a manner i don’t care for. we later learn that this second man is named greg.

mulder says bill has always hated him because mulder never worshiped him back when they worked together, even if everyone else did. ohhh, mulder says that to bill, catching a monster meant becoming one yourself. that’s juicy. i wonder what he means by that.

(author's note: WE LEARN WHAT HE MEANS BY THAT!)

so now they’re at the crime scene, covered in gargoyle drawings. shoutout to props design.

a cat jumps out and yells at scully!!! she is scared and i would be too! mulder says “it’s just a cat” like that makes it’s sudden appearance less terrifying, and she sighs and says she thought it was a picture coming to life. there’s a bit of a laugh in there, like she realizes how ridiculous that sounds.

mulder gets on his knees, peeks under the bed, and tries to call to the kitty LMAOOO AWWWWW but it sneaks away through a hole in the wall. they realize it’s hollow and it’s actually a door!

scully still seems scared to go in there, asks to wait until there’s more light, and he pulls out a tiny flashlight lmaoooo

meow kitty. and inside the door are horrific gargoyles sculpted out of clay.

MULDER WIPES HIS FINGER ON THE CLAY AND LICKS IT? HUH??? then be starts digging in there. AND BLEH!! bodies. inside the clay!!!

he craves the minerals of clay i guess...?

he put the flashlight in his mouth so he couldn’t talk, and she kept yelling for him to tell her what the hell was going on in there, which he was not doing. too busy ruining some art that contains people to communicate what was in his line of sight, i suppose. but no explanation on the licking.

some guy is working in a glass studio when he is being approached. use the molten glass for self defense! but alas, something growls and grabs him.

so now glass guy is in the hospital and greg is here. she tells him they found 5 bodies in the studio, all dismembered and with gashes on the face like this guy, the glass artist.

greg says that he thinks bill went to skinner and REQUESTED mulder on this case. and that bill tells him “mulder stories” after a few beers, about how he’s some kind of genius. HELLO? the vibes are weird here. why is he telling her this....?

and the victim in the hospital bed is gagging or gurgling a bit so the doctor asks them to please leave. i can imagine this would be distressing.

mulder is a library!! a big, nice library. reading about gargoyles, apparently named after a french dragon!! he’s flipping through old books and it looks like he has blood on his shoulder, which makes me concerned about his hands and therefore the condition of said books. he’s monologung about the nature of the human soul and taking notes. okay, a researcher! “is this the monster called madness?” <- how poetic!

AWWWW he falls asleep on the books. WAIT STOP :((( why is this so cute… he was working too hard again smh!

bill scares him!!! and wakes him up!! RUDE! i thought it was going to be scully and it would be sweet but it’s this loser. he’s asking what mulder is looking for, and he admits he isn’t sure yet.

and bill is back on his yelling at people bullshit, saying mulder is wasting his time, that john is only doing all this gargoyle art because he is insane. and he is MEAN!! he tells mulder that he’s disappointed in him and he comes back with a “well, i wouldn’t want to disappoint you by not disappointing you”<- ooohhhh get his ass.

why is he here at this library anyway? it seems unprofessional and stalker-adjacent. bill leaves with some more parting bullying and mulder seems really upset honestly. he looks out the window and sees A GARGOYLE! they're haunting him!

scully at the door to his place. she lets herself in. she’s so pretty. but where is he?

oh. he has covered his place with gargoyle art. so that is not a promising sign… did he steal it??? or is this his own work?

we then see him back at the crime scene, staring at the same drawing that is in his house. so does he possess a copy machine, or a photographic memory and a secret talent for drawing? or did someone break into his place and target HIM?

why is he back at the scene of the crime? pacing about. what is going through your mind, strange man. why is he touching the art. while there are voices whispering. HUH?? MULDER POSSESSION ARC???

now HE’S sculpting stuff?? okayyyy artist!! at 3 in the morning. at a crime scene. he’s SLEEPING in john’s bed??

but he wakes up!! to a creepy gargoyle looking creature standing over him!! he grabs his gun and starts running. climbing ladders n stuff. but then he loses him.

NO! the creepy guy jumps out and slashes at mulder. and then knocks him into a big pile of something soft. very lucky.

scully is with mulder now, he’s getting bandaged up, and she’s telling him how scared she was. “you turned your phone off? why do you even bother carrying it?” <- lmaooo

he claims he was “working” in john's studio at 3 am, and scully is NOT happy because she hasn’t heard from him in 2 days, which is a concerning amount of time to be apart for them!

he’s insisting that whatever it is, it’s real. and she says she knows about his “new wallpaper”, and that bill is “testing” him. with some sort of psychological torment? yeah, seems in character.

he leaves without telling her where he’s going and she is NOT happy. she marches up to bill. and starts asking what the hell he’s doing to mulder. bill says he wants to finish the case and to “let mulder do what he needs to do” because she won’t be able to stop him.

HELLO? the man is going off the deep end. his best friend (who is a doctor) is going to be trying to help him. that’s an unstoppable force (mulder's desire to finish his quest) meeting an immovable object (scully's need to keep him safe and healthy).

fuck you, bill you’re really making me upset. because you’re making scully upset. and fuck your little henchman greg watching all this.

but she notices a razor stuck in a car nearby. wait, do you think this henchman greg is the killer?

she finds the handle underneath the same car….

mulder is back at the jail, talking to john. asking why “it let him live”. he’s asking john to help him get deeper, to help him find it.

OH! he punched john when his answers weren't helpful. his mouth is full of blood. john says that only it can find him, and maybe it already has.

MULDER POSSESSION ARC!!??? or is it an exploration into the evils people can be driven to out of desperation and a quest for answers?

scully took the razor and handle she found to the lab for analysis and she’s putting on some sunglasses to look at stuff. okaaaayy.

AND THEY ARE MULDER’S PRINTS ON THE KNIFE!!! she is shocked. she has to excuse herself.

she’s going to the archives and someone gives her a box. she just gets on the floor and starts looking through it. no time to bring it to a table, we need answers NOW. it’s the evidence box from the crime scene, and that knife from evidence is missing.

and skinner wants to see her right away!!! what is going on?? she looks soooo scared.

but she looks good.

anyway, skinner asks if the knife she found could be the same as the one from the crime scene, and also, how is mulder doing? well, i would say, not good. she says she’s not worried about him, but he can tell she’s lying, because he says “off the record, so am i” no :( what did they do to him?!

mulder is back at the crime scene again? looking at the clay gargoyles.

WHAT IS GOING ON... THERE ARE ONLY TEN MINUTES LEFT. HOW IS THIS GONNA GET WRAPPED UP?

that CREATURE ATTACKS HIM AGAIN!!! and he sees bill and the other guy greg there???

but it’s just a dream. okay, well i was fooled. guess i’m gullible. he’s actually sleeping at his apartment on that damn couch again. once again asking for mutual aid funds to buy him a mattress.

anyway, he wakes up covered in sweat and surrounded by gargoyle drawings all over his walls. clearly a very healthy man /s

now he’s getting up and leaving his apartment. creepy music is playing as he goes back to the crime scene. to do more searching. now he’s looking at the gargoyles IN REAL LIFE. and the music is getting more intense.

the cat is licking some blood on the floor!!!! he follows it to a hand??? but whose…..

greg calls scully, and leaves a message saying to call her back. but we hear his phone ringing at the crime scene when scully calls it! so where is he? well, i have a guess. mulder picks up greg's phone.

she asks about the prints on the knife, and he says he wanted “to see what it felt like in my hand” which is deeply suspicious!!! you’re scaring me!!!

she says mulder needs to stay EXACTLY where he is, and that she will be there in a few minutes so they can “work this thing out together, okay?” and MAN she is a good friend!! she will wake up in the middle of the night to find you losing sanity at a crime scene after you stole a murder weapon, and she’s gonna do what it takes to help you out. he says “yeah” and hangs up. he seems unappreciative.

he’s looking at a sculpture with great intensity. it looks very wet. and then he DIGS INTO IT AGAIN and finds ANOTHER FELLOW IN THERE. is it GREG??? it IS!

mulder hears a noise behind him and its bill. he’s adding two and two together- or possibly being delusional- and saying that greg knew it was bill who did the killing, so bill killed him. and bill’s hands ARE covered in clay. bill seems really confused. mulder has him at gunpoint.

mulder says that bill imagined everything john (the killer) did as he got deeper and deeper into his profiling over the three years it took to solve the case. and when he caught john, it wasn’t enough. by then bill had become the monster like he always said to! and he brought mulder in on the case for subconscious help!

scully rolls up and pulls her gun out. because let’s be honest, it’s not looking great for mulder. he asks her to put the light away- also suspicious- but tells him to explain. and then bill shoves her down. mulder helps her up and says “it’s him”.

next thing you know, they’re searching on the roof. i’m scared someone will fall over the edge.

everything is very tense. and then the gargoyle grabs mulder again. we hear a gun go off! scully screams "mulder!!" and she runs over.

he shot bill! right under the roof gargoyle!

now bill is in jail and screaming about “not doing it”.

mulder wrap up time. “if a man’s character is his fight, this fight [against evil] is not a choice but a calling” <- ooooh okay banger line. gonna have to think on exactly what it means but it sure does SOUND cool.

closeup on gargoyle drawn in blood on the wall, presumably by the jailed bill. while mulder talks about looking into the laughing face of of madness.

hmm. initial thoughts: hmm.

this episode was used to dive into mulder’s psyche. to examine his past and also his fragility. he throws so much of himself into a case, that he almost loses who he is.

but it also could have been the influence of an evil gargoyle... so: ???

i think that, in general, sanity is a frail thing. and we see how delicate it is, how people who are capable of evil can manipulate and terrorize. if you assume that mulder wasn’t in any sort of actual demon possession, it’s scarier, seeing how people can lose themselves. if you go with the interpretation that there was no real demon at all, and the urge to do evil came from bill’s year’s long quest to catch the killer, then that proves the point even further. in that interpretation, the result is very scully-esque, how the real horrors of life are the unpredictably of fellow man. and we could see how terrifying it was to her, how scared she was of him disappearing, not communicating, covering his walls with scary drawings (that we never really got answers on if he drew himself?), how the way he acted started changing, and she was losing touch with the person she knew so well because of how he was being manipulated. how she was going to do anything, from confront bill to track him down at 3 am at a crime scene to try and keep him safe.

i think mulder wanted to prove himself to bill, and so he pushed himself as hard as he did. he seemed really hurt by his lack of approval, which probably stems from mulder’s reputation for getting results, even if others consider his approach unorthodox.

but then why would mulder cover his place with those drawings?? and why did he want to feel the knife in his hand? was it because he wanted to see how the killer felt before doing something so awful? if so, why now? there have been tons of cases before in which he could have held a murder weapon and pondered its use on taking a life. was it his glance into the history of gargoyles that got him all contemplative on the human nature and what evil is and if it can be resisted, or if it is something that is inside of you and unavailable? was he tempting himself to prove if he could resist it?

i’m a bit puzzled. i guess you can take a bunch of approaches here on who really did the killing- bill and john, or a force of evil- and why. and whichever read you take will characterize the themes of the episode very differently. please share what you thought; i’m curious on if there was a popularly accepted interpretation or one that the creators intended us to get, or if the ambiguity was intentional. i feel like i'll be gnawing at this one in my mind for a bit, trying to reach whatever it was saying.

it was very tense, but overall a pretty good episode. things i liked the best: mulder pssting a cat, worried scully, angry scully yelling at bill for messing with mulder’s head, an apartment entrance (she still has the key to his place <3), mulder falling asleep in a library after going on a quest for gargoyle facts (art history nerd? library nerd? you decide), scully in a red suit, scully telling mulder very firmly to stay still so she can come get him and they can figure whatever situation he is in out together, brief scully sunglasses moment.

wouldn't it be funny if they both got pets from a case? if that cat wasn't feral, he could have adopted it. taken it around for walks on a cat harness. a lovely thought!

#i have a feeling i'll be trying to unravel this one for a bit #and also that the interpretations will be very different from person to person #so i'm curious here on what the people think #it was a pretty good episode! but a bit dark for me. in terms of tone and also screen brightness. like damn where was the lighting #but sleeping library mulder has unlocked a special chamber in my heart #so what is evil? that's a great question. let me know if you figure out what this episode's answer to that is meant to be.#juni's x files liveblog #3x14 #the x files #txf

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hedghost · 1 year ago

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hedge can we have your review on the season? Like for each player give us a summary sentence on ur ops on their performance

oh yes gladly i love shit like this. you said one sentence but it’s way more than that bc i have a lot of thoughts hehe:

Mary Earps: honestly didn’t have her best season, especially in the first half, which i think was a mental thing. around january she seemed back to her old self and she did have some great games. kept us in a lot, pulled off some mega saves - we all know how fucking good she is there’s no denying that. however people chat a lot about our defence but i definitely don’t think she’s entirely without blame for some goals/results. still love her tho, just not her best season. genuinely no idea if she’ll stay.

Phallon Tullis-Joyce: that’s my fucking marine biologist!!! i’m so in love with phallon. criminal that we didn’t see her in the league, but her conti cup performances were brilliant. seems to work so well with the defence in such a short time despite lack of minutes played with them. good with the ball at her feet, good distribution, and made some fucking incredible saves (the one v liverpool was save of the season for me.) i genuinely won’t be mad if mary leaves bc i think phallon is more than good enough to replace her. hope to see more of her.

Gabby George: one of our smartest signings imo, was sceptical at first but she impressed hugely in the short time we saw her. made a huge impact on attacks down the left. gutted she got injured, def prefer her over blundell and think she would’ve made a big difference in some of our results if she was able to play.

Maya Le Tissier: will defend her with my life. made a few mistakes this season that she didn’t make last year but people forget she’s still v young, and i firmly believe she has the potential to be one of the best. grew into a leadership role this season. would have loved to see her push up more into midfield, or play in rb but 🤷‍♀️. long balls remain elite. if i were skinner i’d be building the team around her and prepping her for the armband.

Aoife Mannion: Didn’t see much of her due to injury but she remains solid. a bit slower, def not a starter but with the limited options we have she’s our best (and only) cb cover so.

Hannah Blundell: listen i like hannah and i think she’s decent but i also think a new lb is our priority (maybe less so when gabbys back fit but still). she’s solid and consistent but i think the team has outgrown her. done dirty a lot this season by being shifted to the right as it definitely doesn’t favour her. has a good linkup with galton but we still need more of an attacking fb to replace her imo.

Jayde Riviere: my Queen. i get flashbacks to ona when i watch her play and fall in love with her a little more each time. still young and needs more experience but has the potential to grow and be one of the best fullbacks. i expect her to be getting a lot of assists in the near future. super speedy, good awareness and vision, gets stuck in. all i can ask in an fb. only thing is she’s a bit too prone to injury but i’m chalking that down to inconsistent game time and being chucked back in by skinner before she’s fully healed.

Millie Turner: millie was consistent and great this season. glad she’s finally getting her flowers. times where she’s struggled have been when she’s had to deal with gemma evans next to her so i don’t blame her too much. she’s also less of a physical cb than maya is, which we saw a lot especially against ramirez, but that’s why i think the two compliment each other well.

Gemma Evans: hate this woman with a passion i didn’t see a single good thing all year. most baffling signing of all time. done dirty by being put as lb instead of cb but she’s still pretty crap as a cb. stunts all attacks as soon as she’s on the pitch because she continuously passes backwards even when there’s options, but also impacts attacks down our right bc blundell gets moved over and she can’t attack as well down the right as jayde, and we all know our midfield is too shit to go down the middle. gets beaten easily and loses her man constantly, impacts millie and maya bc they have to come over and cover often, and gives away too many fouls in bad positions bc she can’t compete with players so just takes them out dirty. shit as fuck.

Evie Rabjohn: gutted we didn’t see much of her, exciting prospect for the future.

Ella Toone: despite many lacklustre performances has had one of her best seasons statistically, however (controversial) she’s still not a starter. when she’s in the right space and gets the right ball she’s magic, but a lot of the time she spends 60 minutes completely invisible, then gets one banger of a goal and everyone pretends she’s had the game of her life. could be down to a shit midfield but im not fully sold. especially w/ the talent we have in the midfield she should be our super sub if you ask me. elite gamechanger, but not a starter.

Irene Guerrero: will never forgive skinner for what he did to her. the 8 minutes she was on the pitch were the best 8 minutes i’ve seen our midfield play. criminally underused, baffling as to why you would play zelem over her. hope she gets the chance bc she’ll storm the wsl.

Katie Zelem: when will we be free of a zelem midfield. i genuinely don’t understand why people think she’s good enough. loses the ball, and passes back wayyy too much, invisible half the time, not a good cam, not a good cdm, what’s the point? impossible for us to launch anything through the middle. great set pieces but we’ve seen multiple players who can do that too. a good captain and a good leader however, which i reckon is the only reason she stays, which is why i would be prepping maya for captaincy asap.

Hayley Ladd: while i don’t think she’s a starter i think we under-utilised her too much this season. she’s really our only strong cdm who can take control of the midfield and we needed her against teams like arsenal and chelsea who have v good midfields. when she has played she’s been v strong, and consistent.

Lisa Naalsund: my norwegian queen. she walked through the fiery pits of skinnerhell last season and came out the other side with a vengeance. has proved herself and firmly earned that starting position. really good on the ball, great vision, and scored quite a few screamers too. suffers a bit when she’s played with toone and zelem because she’s kind of the only one doing anything. dominates the right side more than the left - her link ups with jayde, geyse and lucia are brilliant. hope she stays.

Hinata Miyazawa: again, criminally underused. yes she was injured for a while but she should be a consistent starter if you ask me. so good on the ball, so good with pockets of space. i call her my tiny terrier bc she’s absolutely relentless with winning the ball back. never intimidated by any player. love her. hasn’t had the time to integrate fully with the forwards but when the cohesion is there it’ll be mega. i believe she can play on the wing too so i’d like to see some of that.

Emma Watson: another player i’m gutted was injured. so so excited to see her play as i believe she’ll be one of the best.

Grace Clinton: yes she was on loan but i’m still gonna include her. what a fucking season, and what a fucking player. i do think the loan to spurs was the best thing for her as she needed minutes which she wouldn’t have gotten here so i’m not criticising skinner for that, but we now have to do everything we can to keep her, not just the summer but the next. unreal. we’ve seen what she can do so i can’t wait to see her in a united shirt (fingers crossed)

Melvine Malard: if we don’t trigger the to-buy option we’re fucking stupid but my hopes aren’t high with skinner. should’ve got way more game time but hey ho. i don’t know why we don’t play her in the 9 when it’s clearly her best position. just love her energy, her connections, the way she moves the ball and gives everything. just need her to bag a few more goals.

Leah Galton: i love her sm but i think she’s kind of past her best now. she shouldn’t start bc she just gets tired too easily but she has had good moments so there’s still a space for her as a sub. has definitely suffered from not having a good fb behind her, but i think it’s time to move beyond her. still a clinical player with good skills, and hella agile but doesn’t have the connection with new forwards to make a real impact.

Lucia Garcia: i fucking love this girl. god i hope she stays but i do think she’s going unfortunately. our best and most consistent winger, fast as shit, moves the ball well, holds the ball up well, beats players, clinical on goal, commits to the ball but also so good at getting back to defend. player of the season for me, not a bad thing to say about her. just incredible we should be throwing the kitchen sink at her.

Nikita Parris: had a great season, def our most clinical finisher. i kind of prefer when she’s on the wing but she’s good in both positions. quick, relentless, good finishes, yeah she’s good. can def see her leaving though and i’m not up in arms about that as i feel we should be buying new strikers this summer. not so much of a ball carrier than our other forwards so mostly relies on service from others, but has good positioning and good finish.

Geyse: example of a brilliant player who’s suffering under poor coaching. mad skills but needs coaching to improve her decision making and finishing, which is what will make her a great player. she’s so fun to watch that sometimes i don’t even care when she loses the ball, but she def does way too much. shoots when she shouldn’t and doesn’t when she should. skinner can’t coach which is the problem, bc if she could finish she’d be immense. i’ve seen a lot of growth from her this season as she’s become more integrated in the team so i have hope.

Rachel Williams: had a great season but we really shouldn’t be relying on a 36 year old to win us games. just has that strikers instinct that you can’t teach but she’s ancient and so we desperately need a replacement. can’t deny that she’s saved us multiple times this season though.

#muwfc

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