#i don’t think i’ve ever had my baseline be so good???

[angelmush]

i am so HAPPY . i feel happy. im so in love and i like my job and i enjoy my hobbies and i am so happy!!!!!!!!!!

[theabigailthorn]

Hi Abby! I have a question I’ve been wondering for a while, and I really hope it’s okay to ask. I’ve been a little worried about it because, idk…it’s a tough topic, and I know a lot of trans people get a bunch of bullshit flack, and I don’t want to accidentally contribute to that. That being said— do you miss anything from before you transitioned?

I’m definitely some flavor of trans, but idk what exactly 😅 and you’ve been a major hopeful figure to me. I just can’t help but wonder…is it…worth it? So many people say it is. But I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose my family or their love, even if it’s conditional. And sometimes I’m scared that I’ll miss aspects of myself as who I am now. So I wanted to ask you, because I look up to you and respect you a lot!

Sorry that this ask is a mess, I’m kind of all over the place. And obviously you don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable or if these are shitty questions to ask. However! If you’re comfortable, I’d love to know your thoughts. Thank you so much for all you do — it’s more than you know.

In my experience yes it's absolutely worth it because the alternative for me was dying, so it'd have to be pretty rotten not to be worth it! But in addition to that quite grim baseline, yes I think it's the best thing I've ever done. It's allowed me to experience so much more of the variety and wonder of being a person in a way that I couldn't have imagined when I was in the closet - it's made me more intelligent, more moral, more compassionate, and closer to the people I love than ever before. There are challenges that come with it, sometimes huge challenges - especially in this time of transphobic backlash - but if you gave me a magic wish I really don't think I'd choose to have been born cis. In terms of worrying you'll miss aspects of yourself, I had that worry too - I discussed it with Mia Mulder when my egg was cracking and she said, "You will change, but you keep the good bits."

At the same time, it's important to be realistic: transition won't solve your problems and there are no consequence-free transitions. I was lucky in that there was only one person in my old life who couldn't accept me post-transition, but it was someone I loved very much and it still hurts a little - I still hope that one day we might find a way to be friends again. Transition also comes with tradeoffs and compromises, much like life!

[midwestmade29]

Heat ❤️‍🔥

My first Adam Cole story Bay Bay! I can't believe it's taken me this long to write one about him because the man is 🔥🔥 AND it's a AU version of him! I had a lot of fun with it and I hope you all enjoy reading it 🖤 Word count: 1.5k Divider by: @saradika-graphics *GIF is not mine

Disclaimers: Cursing, mention of weapons, unprotected sex.

In this story, Cole owns a nightclub and conducts business there. I never specified exactly what "business" he takes care of, but it would be along the lines of taking over/securing certain territories or he’s a bootlegger. (NOT drugs)

When you and Adam end up alone in his office, things start to heat up...

I was sitting at my desk listening to Roddy carry on while my mind was elsewhere. He was trying to strategize for our upcoming meeting that was scheduled for tomorrow night, but I just wasn’t feeling it. We had already covered all the bases for our safety plan which automatically made me feel better knowing everyone had a role and a place to be. In this line of work, there’s always a risk of danger or a chance for things to turn south. Safety is my number one priority.

Matt and Mike usually keep watch outside of my office while Roddy is always with me. I assigned Wardlow to my girl to keep her safe and never leave her side. If anything ever happened to her because of my job, I’d never be able to live with myself. The five of us were always equipped with weapons while extras were placed in areas around the club only we knew about. I’ll be damned if a deal goes bad and the opposing side gets the better of Adam Cole Bay Bay.

“ADAM!” Roddy yelled loudly. The look on my face was pure annoyance when I met his eyes, although he didn’t seem to care. “What Roddy?” I asked through gritted teeth. He continued speaking without missing a beat, “Did you hear what I said? I think we should…” but I tuned him out once again. The guy has no self-awareness.

A sudden knock on my office door added to my annoyance. “Come in!” I snapped while rubbing my temples. When Y/N peered around the door, I instantly softened. “Hi, sorry. I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Y/N said softly. Roddy interjected before I had the chance to respond, “Actually you are interrupting. This is an A B conversation, so you should C your way out of it,” My mouth dropped open in utter astonishment at how much of an idiot he really is. “Roddy, would you please just shut the hell up? Y/N is always welcome in here,” I scolded before directing my attention to my beautiful girl. “Hi baby, it’s good to see you. Come here,” I motioned for her to join me at my side. Even though she tried, she couldn’t hide the smirk on her face as she sauntered into the room, eyeing Roddy the whole time in triumph. God, I love her! When she was next to me, I swiveled in my chair and pulled her down onto my lap. As if it was a natural instinct, our lips found their way to one another, sharing a kiss that was full of heat and want. Y/N and I didn’t give to shits about Roddy standing in the background likely feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

Even with me biting her bottom lip and tugging to keep her lips on mine, Y/N pulled away. She had her fingers splayed in my hair as she rubbed the baseline of my neck, turning me into putty in her hands.

“So, how are you baby? I’ve been thinking about you all night,” I asked while nuzzling my face against her collarbone. She smells like Heaven. “I’m good! I was popping in to tell you that I was going to have Wardlow take me home. I wasn’t sure how much longer you were going to be,” her voice was sweeter than honey, her eyes my favorite color but they shifted over to my incompetent counterpart leaning against the wall.  “Don’t you have anything better to do than stand there? You make an ugly wallflower,” Y/N jeered. I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of her! I rubbed my chin trying to hide my smile, but my laughter gave me away. Roddy was clearly appalled when he asked me, “Did you hear what she just said to me?” “Yes, Roddy I did. I think she’s onto something here. Get out,” “Get out? What do you mean-” “You heard me. I said get out. We’re done for tonight, you can leave,” I instructed flatly. He knew better than to protest, so with an exaggerated sigh, Roddy grabbed his jacket and sulked out of my office. I directed my attention back to the beautiful girl still sitting on my lap, looking into her eyes, and being immediately entranced by her smile. “So, where were we?” “Well, I was about to go home but I think I’ll stay since you’re free now,” Y/N winked. I got the impression that she was implying something, so I decided to bite. “I’m glad you knocked on the door when you did. Roddy was killing me slowly with his rambling. Enough about him, I’m all yours baby. What would you like to do?”

Y/N had a mischievous smirk on her face as her hands slinked down from my neck to the tops of my shoulders, her fingers creating a trail down to my chest. She began toying with the buttons on my shirt never breaking eye contact with me. With the first two buttons unfastened, Y/N whispered, “I have an idea,” My cock twitched with excitement when the last button was undone. She took her bottom lip in between her teeth, admiring my newly exposed chest while she slid my shirt down my arms. My pants and boxer briefs were off in the blink of an eye after Y/N stood up, her dress and panties joining my clothes on the floor. My cock grew harder from her supple, naked breasts before me. They were just begging to be fondled by my tongue.

Even though our bodies weren’t touching, I could still feel the heat between us. My body was aching for this girl, I wanted her. I needed her.

“Look how stunning you are baby. How did I get so lucky? I’ll never get enough of you,” my voice overcome with lust the more my eyes took in the sight of her naked body. My gaze caused the most beautiful shade of pink to bloom across her cheeks, but her confidence never faltered. Y/N straddled my lap, her tight cunt hovering just above the tip of my cock making me shiver with anticipation. “Should we lock the door?” I asked only a whisper away from her lips. “Someone could walk in unannounced at any time,” Without hesitation, Y/N responded boldly and assertively, “Let them,” before crashing her lips against mine. She tasted so damn sweet.

With my hands gripping her hips tightly, Y/N sank down onto my cock. Her arousal was silky as it coated me, allowing me to slide in with ease while her walls squeezed tightly. “A-Adam!” she cried out. “So f-full,” Y/N wasn’t wrong, I was filling her to the hilt once she was fully seated, and holy fuck did she feel good around me. “I know baby girl, but you take me so well! That’s it, rock your hips and take what you need from me. Good girl,” my praises nothing more than a murmur against the shell of her ear.

The whimper she let out as I took her nipple in my mouth sent a shockwave straight to the very heart of me, her moans filled my office the more my tongue played with it. My teeth grazed the stiff peak before I sucked hard and released it with a pop. I kissed my way over to her other breast and repeated the same ritual, this time it made my beautiful girl’s head fall back in utter bliss from every sensation my mouth and cock were making her feel. My hands began kneading her ass while my face was buried in her neck as her hair cascaded around us. We were both completely enamored with one another, getting closer to the edge with every rock and roll. When I started meeting her every movement with a thrust of my own, everything began to feel more frantic and fervid. “Come on baby, I know you’re close. I can feel it in the way your sweetness is dripping down my shaft. I can hear it in your whines. Cum for me, let yourself go baby,” In an instant, Y/N completely unraveled. Her body quaked beneath my hands as she refused to yield to her orgasm, still working hard to bring me to the land of ecstasy with her.

 “Fuck, Adam! It’s your turn to take what you need from me, take everything. It’s all yours!” her voice breathy and oh so angelic. Her hand grabbed a fistful of my hair and tugged making me hiss from the sudden sting, but the rest of my body reveled in the sensation. My beautiful girl smiled against my lips when I finally erupted inside of her. I pulled her as close to my chest as physically possible while my cock pulsated deep inside her warm cunt. 

We were still melded together as we came back down to earth, my thighs soaked from the mess we made of each other. “Feel free to interrupt all my meetings from now on,” I teased. The sound of Y/N’s laughter was just as intoxicating as the sexy noises she had been making mere moments ago.

[universitypenguin]

hey alice! i just wanted to ask, does lloyd and princess celebrate thanksgiving? I don’t rlly see lloyd as a holiday kind of guy buy princess i definitely see!! do they make like a feast together and say thanks? haha im jot rlly sure what goes on during thanksgiving im not american 😵‍💫 thank you!!!

Yes, Princess and Lloyd celebrate Thanksgiving. 

Princess always celebrated with her family, while Lloyd, Zach, and Jake usually gathered with Jake’s military buddies. However, what they all celebrate together is an annual “Friendsgiving” celebration that occurs on the Thursday before Thanksgiving. This event was traditionally hosted by Landon and his fiancee, Elle, but this year the responsibility was passed to Lloyd. Caught up in the midst of wedding planning she’d decided it was too much and asked if Lloyd would be willing to take over the burden of hosting. 

You were surprised by how unfazed Lloyd was about being asked. Of course, you knew that Lloyd could cook. He was competitive in the kitchen and intense about the science of food preparation and even more intense about nutrition. He wasn’t the kind of chef who was tied to a recipe, either. While he was living in France he’d taken culinary classes. Lloyd knew which herbs were soluble in water instead of oil and what ratios of sugar to fat created the best flavors. 

Perhaps it shouldn’t really be a surprise, given that he’d once been a top athlete, but Lloyd knew exactly what went into his body. Since his father, Joe, hadn’t cooked, his skill hadn’t been born from love but rather, necessity/ The need to eat was what drove him to the kitchen. He’d picked up the ability slowly and eventually, cooking had become one of his passions. 

Now, returning to Friendsgiving… Lloyd spared no effort in the preparations. He ensured the house would be spotless by arranging for the housekeeper to come on Monday. That night he picked up a fresh turkey and an eight pound prime rib roast from the butcher. The prime rib roast was in deference to the fact that he was the son of a cattle rancher and as such, believed that no festivities could be complete without a healthy serving of red meat. 

Then he began the meticulous process of separating the turkey’s dark and light meat because every chef worth their salt knows you can’t cook dark and light meat evenly at the same time. You’ll either make the light meat stringy or the dark meat greasy, so separating the different types of meat is the most necessary step in the whole process. Next, he applied a citrus rub of orange and lemon to tenderize the meat and infused herbs under the turkey’s skin. He used a seasoning rub on the prime rib roast.

Everything had been done. The meats were roasting, the table was set and all that was left was for the guest to arrive. 

He’d deliberately invited you to come over an hour earlier to give your approval on the decorations and taste the food. 

“What do you think?” Lloyd demanded, two seconds after you’d begun to chew a bite of stuffing. 

“Mmmhhh…” you held up a hand, warding off his impatience and savoring the flavors.

“Very good.”

“Good?”

Lloyd’s outrage cracked your composure. 

“Lloyd, it was delicious. Can I have another?”

“No. How was the crust? It wasn’t soggy at all, right?”

“It was the best stuffing I’ve ever tasted,” you said.

He frowned. “What kind of stuffing does your mother make?”

“Are you questioning my mother’s cooking skills?”

“I’m trying to get a baseline of comparison. ‘The best I’ve ever tasted’ isn’t very concrete, Princess. Be more specific.” 

“You didn’t answer the question,” you said.

Lloyd held up his hands in surrender. “I would never. Now, moving on. Try these.” 

He pulled a tray out of the oven and offered you something that looked like a pastry. 

You picked up one to inspect. “What is it?”

“Cranberry Brie scones. Take a bite and tell me if it needs a dusting of powdered sugar. The recipe called for it, but I didn’t want to ruin the tartness of the cranberry sauce so I left it off.” 

You sampled and approved. Lloyd continued serving dishes. Green bean casserole, twice-baked potatoes, homemade gravy, and mac n’ cheese. The mac n’ cheese impressed you the most and when you said as much, Lloyd delivered a highly technical explanation about the importance of blending to achieve a proper ‘roux.’ You waited until his back was turned and googled ‘what is a roux?’

“How long did all of this take you?”

Lloyd shrugged, pouring you a glass of wine. “I’ve been doing a little bit every day. The potatoes, stuffing, and casserole were made in advance. I just reheated them in the oven. And the meat takes less work than you might think.” 

“What are the others bringing?”

“Elle’s bringing roasted asparagus and a pumpkin pie. Zach’s indulging his inner Southern boy and bringing biscuits and a pecan pie. Also, did you know that pecan pie is the official state pie of Texas?”

“No.”

“Well, according to Zach, it is.” 

“Is Jake bringing his new girlfriend?” you asked.

“Yes. He’s also bringing a salad and candied yams because she’s a vegetarian.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to share a meal with a vegetarian?”

“Apparently. I’m even letting her into the house. I considered putting a table out on the deck for them on principle… but that seemed a little bigoted, even for me.” 

“I’m proud of you. That shows real growth.” 

You lifted your wine glass, making a toast. Lloyd smirked, raising his glass to clink with yours. 

“To growth,” you said.

“Cheers.” Lloyd’s face wrinkled with disgust and you giggled. 

“Don’t worry, it’s only for a few hours. You’ll cope. The house looks nice. Did you have a decorator come?” 

“Yeah. She put up the leaf garlands and spread candlesticks everywhere. Who even needs this many candles?”

“They’re just for show,” you said. 

“Then what’s the point?”

“It looks pretty.” 

Lloyd grunted and sipped his wine. “I get why Elle wasn’t up to hosting Friendsgiving this year. It’s a lot of work.” 

“Be careful. If you knock this out of the park, they’ll want you to host Christmas, too.”

“What?”

“Christmas, Lloyd. It’s in four weeks.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

You smirked and sipped your wine. 

“Tell me that’s a joke.”

“I love your fireplace. Wouldn’t it look lovely with a pine garland?”

- - - - - - - - - - - -

THE END

masterlist

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #23 – Montress Volume 4: The Chosen by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda

My monthly Monstress read! Because spacing them out forces me to evaluate each volume more as an independent piece in itself (still not very good at this), and also putting five books between each 6-issue comic volume makes it feel less like cheating. This volume was still very good, but also pretty easily the weakest of the four I’ve read so far – though honestly I can’t be entirely sure how much of that is honest analysis and how much is me just finding a couple big choices made this volume very aesthetically disagreeable.

The story picks up with a bit of a timeskip from the previous book, as Kippa’s kidnappers carry away to their employer and Maika and Corvin furiously search for her. Kippa manages to escape into an incredibly cursed tomb and gets to safety with the help of a selectively friendly dragon, while Maika is captured herself while trying to rescue her – and finds out that the ‘Lord Doctor’ who had Kippa kidnapped is her father, a centuries-old direct descendant of the Shaman Empress who has assembled a collection of warlords and cultists he plans to found an empire on. He attempts to sell her on accepting a role as the princess of his Court of Blood as he plots to set off the world war everyone knows is brewing, and also to embrace the whole cannibalistic-eldritch-monster-symbiote thing and just stop worrying and eat people. Maika, of the arbitrary and incoherent but very stronglt felt moral code, is not an easy sell on this.

My biggest issue with the volume is just that it feels a bit disjointed, I think? Not that previous volumes haven’t had mostly separate plot threads running through them, but this one felt more meandering than any of the others I’ve read so far. The impression wasn’t really helped by how much of it felt like it was just jumping from Kippa getting exposited to by a dracul to Maika getting lectured by her father, either. The little cutaways to Vihn and Ren or Tuya and the Warlord were both great on their own merits, but they didn’t exactly improve the sense of narrative focus or forward momentum.

Part of that was just this being (if I recall correctly) the first time that the Maika/Ren/Kippa trio’s been separated for functionally an entire volume? I really didn’t realize how much I missed the dynamic each of the three has with the other two until it was gone. I can only hope they stick together a bit more from here on out.

As for more obviously subjective issues – I really, really don’t like the fact that Marium (the Cumena’s messiah-figure) was apparently deeply tied into whatever was going on with Zinn and the Shaman Empress? It’s just too neat and tidy, tying everything important that ever happened into one tight weave. Makes the whole setting feel claustrophobic.

Besides that – and this is pure aesthetics – but blech, really don’t particularly care for the way that the Ancient’s, uh, ancient civilization is shown and described almost through the idiom of science fiction? Skyscrapers and flying cars and hyper-[magi]-tech and a past descending from distant stars to claim this new world. It’s just kind of boring, I guess? Two great tastes that absolutely do not taste great together.

Not to say this was bad, or anything – I absolutely still enjoyed it overall, and it never became a chore to read. Maika’s cosmically comically awful family is always fun (even if I wish the Doctor would die sooner rather than latter, preferably messily), and even if Zinn’s layered tragic backstories are getting a bit much, the complication of its relationship with the Shaman-Empress is intriguing in its own right. Also Tuya and the Warlord’s toxic yuri soap opera is amazing and I kind of want a whole issue of just them tearing into each other (though the Warlord so far seems to really be a bit of a dumb brute. Really not holding her own).But the baseline set by the previous volumes is high, and it doesn’t really quite live up to them.

In terms of writing anyway, the art remains as sublime as ever. One thing that especially that struck me this time was just how unique and high-quality the designs of characters who are, functionally, extras there to provide background color were. Both the various warmasters of the Blood Court and Kippa’s kidnappers had these incredibly rich, detailed designs that were just full of personality and individual flourishes – it really is one of the main appeals of the book.

[solongandgoodnightxoxo]

Random ooc post

Hello everyone, as we know I’d hate Gideon if I ever saw him irl and I’d 100% eat him for being rich.

I just really like his character…

Is he the best villain ever? No

Is the media he’s from flawed? Very much so

However, I really like the idea of him. The premise around scott pilgrim is really fun and I like it a lot, and I think the exes are a really good part of it!

Sure in the comics and movie they weren’t the biggest most fleshed out thing ever, but they’re still very fun to play with and I like their characters, even if we don’t see much of it

I don’t love Gideon, in fact I think he’s a “nice guy”

However he is still one of my favorites. He’s very fun to play, and I think he was really fun in the movie (even if I didn’t like the movie besides the jokes)

I’d beat him to death on sight for the kung pao chicken line. Won’t even make a justification there.

I know others don’t like it much, but I like how different he is in each media while still having the same Baseline.

Comics? I really like that version! It shows Gideon in his most deranged, and I think he has some pretty good lines + I like characters with a mysterious element

Movie? Like I said, far from my favorite, but Jasons performance was really good and he clearly had fun! I really only like the movie because you can tell everyone had a really fun time making it and obviously really loved their roles. I’m never excusing the lesphobia and racism though thats ew!!!

Spto? Its flawed, and the rose tinted goggles have fallen, but I still really like how Gideon was shown. I will admit, there were plot holes (like gideon having an act around julie, who was on his side) but I think its a great way to cast him aside and stop his yapping so others could finally have their time to shine. I think it was refreshing, and opened up a whole new view of how he acts (even if it was flawed). Also goosepowers. Im the number one goosepowers defender. LOOK AT ME. THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME TOGETHER IN THE COMICS.

I do acknowledge that Bryan himself never seems to know Gideons character..but that makes it so much fun to run with! As long as you’ve got the basics, You could accurately portray Gideon (which btw im gonna rewatch spto and the later half of the movie so I can get back on track with him, as well as Matthew)

This is probably a total yapfest with no true rhyme or reason, but I just want this to be known.

I am 100% against this man. I will be the first to drag him actually, and if he was around irl I’d be trashing on him so unbelievably hard. However, he is a really fun role to play and I’m so glad the other Gideon blogs got me to really focus on him.

He’s one of my favs, but thats really only because of you guys. I love Matthew more than him but oh my god Gideon is SO fun to play. I feel like such a theater kid rn, but its true. A lot of the blogs are shitposts, and I’ve done some of that too, but I have put my heart and soul into this blog. I really like being up on stage for people to see! Every rp I do I think of everyone reading along, and I really hope I’ve done my job of entertaining and keeping it fun!

I can say the same for Matthew too, but I love him in a different way. Gideon is fun to play and I like characterizing him, but Matthew is just a TBH creature to me. I dont think i can explain it.

Anyways yapfest over bye bye!!

[kayleigh-83]

Thanks for tagging me @eulaliasims

1. What’s your favourite sims death? Never thought about having a favourite, maybe the cowplant? Or maybe when death results from something usually mundane like hail or lightning (I’ve had that one).

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Mainly Maxis match, but I think of my style as like 90% MM and 10% semi-realistic (more on the BB side) because I do find the occasional thing that fits in with my style from that aesthetic. And I feel like my style is somewhere between the true Maxis match and the cartoony style.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? No? Seems odd!

4. Do you use move objects? Constantly, it’s on more than it’s off. I have an alias set up in my cheat file.

5. Favorite mod? Wow that’s a hard one to narrow down, so I’m gonna choose a few. Based on what has the biggest and most widespread effects, I’d say ACR, Community Lot time, and the whole Traits system (that’s cheating since it’s a million mods but I don’t care lol)

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Would have been the very first pack, so University I guess! When the games came out I was living at home still and my mom played too, so we always got them relatively soon. Uni came out a month or so before my birthday so I suspect I probably got it as a gift that year.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? LIVE as in LIVING, @eulaliasims is 1000% correct.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? So not counting born in game? Sort of a tie but I’ve always been very fond of Joshua and Roxanne Lewis, they were two of Brightmaple’s founders - the first ones I thought up, and first ones I created.

9. Have you made a simself? Yes, in my old neighbourhood, I was a vampire along with the Sim version of my cousin. We lived in a huge Victorian mansion I built where I sent all the vampires in the hood to live.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Brooding, couch potato, good, loves the heat, hopeless romantic

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Don’t really have one I guess.

12. Favorite EA hair? Also don’t really have one lol.

13. Favorite life stage? Probably adult because the most happens, but I also really enjoy toddler which is a hot take in most circles.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? Both! The building is fun and a creative outlet for me, but I do it so I can create more immersive and enjoyable worlds to play in too.

15. Are you a CC creator? Yes but on and off, I do it purely for fun and primarily for things I want in my game. So I take long breaks of making nothing at all, when I’m not in the mood.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I wouldn’t really say so? I do chat with people from time to time and have lots of great acquaintances on here! I find it to be a generally very nice community. But I usually find online friendship difficult since I find it harder to read people purely through text with no baseline for knowing them irl, for things like tone of voice/mannerisms/body language and just general vibe.

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) Well I think it’s pretty obvious TS2 has ruined all other games for me (not just other Sims games either).

18. Do you have any sims merch? nope

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? Actually yes! For speed builds.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Gotten more Maxis match in terms of aesthetic, if you scroll back to like, pre-2017 on my blog you can see that for sure. For play style it’s a lot more structured - pure rotational so ages sync, more wants based, paying a lot more attention to their personalities etc.

21. What’s your Origin ID? I’ve been playing with either the RPC Launcher or a no-CD crack since the day I switched to the UC, so although I do have an Origin ID I’ve literally used it probably twice ever. So no idea!

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? There’s too many to pick!

23. How long have you had a simblr? My very first Simblr post was July 31, 2016. Before that I had a bit of a hiatus from playing for a few years, and before that I was on Livejournal/Dreamwidth.

24. How do you edit your pictures? My photo editing program (PSP8) is literally from the era of TS2 itself, which seems appropriate. It’s always worked perfectly well for me - I downloaded Photoshop a couple times but always found doing the same actions clunky and unfamiliar, so I stick with what I know. I adjust curves, saturation, and add a very slight (probably imperceptible) bloom effect. Then I crop in, and I resize by width - meaning my pics are always the same width, but the height varies slightly. I prioritize getting everything into the frame that I want, and don’t really care if the heights are different.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? If I were making up hypothetical TS2 EP’s? I wouldn’t have minded something like Superstar from the Sims 1, having my Sims become famous (if it was done more like OFB/hands on style rather than “off to work in a carpool for the day” style) would have been pretty fun.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? That’s really tough to pick. Probably Seasons (such world building!), Freetime (the hobbies system adds so much depth for me!) or Open For Business (my whole hood has no EA careers and only businesses sooo...) or Pets?? I love my Sims having pets. They’re all so good!

I’m seeing this going around, so please allow me to tag @you if you haven’t been yet and wanna do this!

[cuntyglam]

hi! sorry in advance if this is bothersome, like fr feel free to just delete if you’d like, but for some reason your ask box seems like a good place to go to talk about this? anyway, that “lovingly help her transition” post has me thinking about transfem butch zoro again & just, like, yes sexy muscle woman blah blah but also honestly it just adds several really interesting layers to zoro’s relationship with women, as well as her relationship with strength itself that don’t really get discussed in conjunction with that headcanon & it’s a travesty fr. like, the way she hears kuina- a girl who will come to be the baseline for zoro’s view of strength for the rest of her life in someways- struggle with internalized misogyny as a result of their environment goes from something that frustrates zoro as it relates to his own strength to something that frustrates her on a much more nuanced level because, though zoro may or may not be aware she’s trans yet, if she can’t beat kuina, & kuina can’t be the strongest because she’s a woman, then what hope does zoro have? & that’s not going into the ways that the rhetoric placing any win specifically on zoro’s body rather than skill could be a huge source of dysphoria, & honestly i think that both of those would follow zoro for quite a long time in the context of her being transfem? but it also adds another layer to her taking on kuina’s dream as part of her own- like it was meant to be a pair of women fighting for the title & now that it can’t be zoro would feel like a more gendered? ig? responsibility to take the title on top of just the more directly interpersonal stuff. & it’s also a reading that i think has a very interesting impact on her whole thing with tashigi because i think both in canon & in this context part of what frustrates zoro so much about her is, for all she looks like kuina, she in many ways lacks kuina’s resolve or desire to prove her own strength. for all tashigi is very clearly (rightfully) outraged by the misogynistic expectations placed upon her, we very rarely see any desire from her to better herself for her own sake or in spite of those expectations (though the scene at the end of alabasta is a noteworthy exception) & like where in canon i think zoro tends to fuck with her because of it in a way that’s a tad more spiteful & demeaning, i think in a transfem reading of zoro it’s a bit more like… genuine indignation over how much of her ability to move through the world tashigi is willing to give up as a result of those expectations in comparison to her actual capacity. like it goes from “you wear the face of my dead friend who has come to be definitional to my person while in some ways being antithetical to her existence, & so i am fine talking down to you” -> “you are allowing the expectations placed upon us as women to hold you back & wasting the chances to do better never knowing when you’re gonna die & you can’t even see it. my best friend was willing to fight for it as a very young girl before death caught her, i’ve had to fight for it my whole life, what the hell are you doing to yourself?” & then there’s tashigi’s insistence on zoro’s disconnect being a result of being biologically male… like tashigi goes from irritating to triggering for zoro in a way. & with strength it’s like… kuina defined both strength & girlhood for zoro in a way that is incomparable to any impact anybody else has ever had on her, but the blueprint was cut off before completion, & now zoro is having to figure it out all on her own. & her commitment to being herself takes on a role that’s just as large as her commitment to strength, if not outright merging the ideas in a far more direct way than canon itself. to be the strongest swords(wo)man she has to be a woman who is herself who is able to carry the people she loves for the girl that taught her all this in the first place, yk? plus it just adds a cute layer of solidarity to everything going on with zoro & okiku. anyway sorry if this is too long or irritating or incoherent, just wanted to say butch transfem zoro rights!

oh my gods this is fantastic you need to write an essay NEOW. i’ve always headcanoned zoro as trans masc just because they feel very trans masc to me, and i’ve also headcanoned kuina as someone who may have been trans masc if they were able to grow up, but i really love this interpretation !! it’s just so fantastic, and i really love it. you could do debates or something fr. while i’ve always interpreted their relationship with women and misogyny in a transmasc light it’s so cool to see that reflected on a transfem zoro. i don’t know why i’ve never thought about it but i adore it !!

[lowpolynpixelated]

Let's talk about handhelds!

Specifically the Steam Deck and what (at least I think) is a decent part of its success as a handheld in today’s rather stagnant landscape as far as competition and innovation goes in the gaming space. For those who don’t know, the Steam Deck is a device first released in February 2022 by game development/publishing company Valve. Valve is mostly known nowadays for being the owners and operators of Steam, the largest and most widely used online marketplace for PC gaming, but rose to fame in the late 90s for their smash hit game Half-Life as well as its sequels and expansions. During the mid-late 2010s Valve had taken a pretty big step back from game development and focussed more on running steam and supporting some of their games (Dota 2, Artifact, Team Fortress 2 just to name a few) though the support varied from game to game. But that aside, let's get into it! PART 1: The Steam Machines

During this time Valve had ALSO begun to dip their proverbial toes into the waters of gaming hardware in the form of both the “Steam Machines” as well as the “Steam Controller”. So what were the Steam Machines? Why are they important to this article about the Steam Deck and other modern handhelds? Well everything has to start somewhere, and I’m of the opinion that the Steam Deck accomplishes the original mission of the Steam Machines better than they ever did, but I’m getting ahead of myself. First announced on September 23rd, 2013, the Steam Machines were touted as a new pillar of console gaming. The aim was to provide a console-like user experience on a device with the horsepower and game variety of your average gaming PC. Runnin on a Linux based operating system called “SteamOS” valve wanted the the consoles to be an open source experience in the living room to compete with the likes of Microsoft’s Xbox consoles. So what went wrong? Well let's start with the big one: variety. I first want to preface this part with: I am looking at these pieces of hardware through the lens of someone with little technical knowledge, the average consumer if you will. I myself have a decent bit of tech know-how, but I wasn't always like that, and I’ve certainly been poor enough my whole life that knowing the biggest and best PC stuff on the market didn’t really mean I could afford it. So, why was variety a bad thing? To your usual console gamer, consistency is key. It's usually assumed by whoever is getting whatever Xbox or PlayStation what-have-you that the box you’re paying money for will play the games you put in it. And to that credit, this is usually the case! Back in the day if you bought a PS2 or a Wii, bought a game for either and slotted it in, your game box would play it no problem. This isn’t always the case for PCs however. PC games vary way more wildly when it comes to the sorts of specifications the game is made to run on, or even what hardware the PC has that can be considered reasonable for said game. The fact of the matter is that PCs are modular, which means optimal configurations and what is considered “a baseline” are changing far more frequently than in the console landscape. The Steam Machines still wanted to offer some of this variety, but in the end it backfired more than anything. 

Steam Machine models ranged in price anywhere from $400 to $2000 in 2015 money when they finally released (November 10th, 2015) depending on the parts they used. And the difference between a $400 model and a $2000 model could mean not being able to play a good chunk of games on the market at the time. To your average console fan, this was perhaps too much choice when it came to finding which box to get to play all the shiny PC games they were being told they’d be able to play. Now this isn’t a matter of being disingenuous, more of an oversight. Valve wasn’t specifically trying to just target average consumers, but they did end up somewhat alienating those who didn’t have the technical know-how to figure out what model best suited the games they wanted to play. What reason would I have to buy a Steam Machine for $650 that might play all the games I want when I could just wait until November 15th, 2013 when the PS4 launched for $400 and would play all the games that came out for it? It was a perfect storm of releasing a brand new (and honestly decent) idea into an already pretty stagnant and established market and not being able to sell to people who weren’t already buying gaming computers. Steam Machines were decently popular with the PC gaming crowd. Being able to buy a pre-assembled computer with decent parts is appealing to a pretty decent chunk of people who primarily play on PC. Maybe you don’t know much about building computers and have always bought pre-built, maybe you like the specs of one of the Steam Machines and don’t mind the price tag too much. This big issue with all this though, was that almost no one was buying the Steam Machines to be a Steam Machine. To quote an article by Tyler Wilde for PC Gamer back in 2018, “Nobody was buying it with SteamOS,” Digital Storm marketing manager Rajeev Kuruppu tells me over the phone. The manufacturer had already been building the Eclipse—which is still available with Windows—when Valve pitched SteamOS, and added a Steam Machine build mid-project. That version has since been axed, and Digital Storm no longer has an active relationship with Valve. 

“I think over time as the demand from customers wasn’t there we basically had no reason to speak with Valve,” says Kuruppu. Digital Storm is still open to working with Valve, so long as its customers want what Valve is putting out. Right now, they don’t.” - Rajeev Kuruppu in a 2018 phone interview with PC Gamer Executive Editor Tyler Wilde for his article “What happened to Steam Machines?” (link in sources section)

This highlights the issue beautifully. SteamOS just couldn’t make the waves Valve wanted it to with the PC manufacturers they partnered with, leading to people simply not buying the pre-built machines as what they were intended to be. So what happens now? Well, after the failure of both the Steam Machines and the Steam Controller (a topic for a different time), Valve wouldn’t try again in the hardware space until 2019 with their admittedly very impressive VR gear, the Valve Index. With the Index making positive waves in the burgeoning VR space, Valve would then go on to release another successful piece of hardware. The real topic if this article, the Steam Deck. 

Part 2: The Steam Deck (part 1: Launch)

Revealed on July 15th, 2021, the Steam Deck was Valve's answer to their failed hardware attempt of the past. A handheld computer with a brand new version of SteamOS capable of playing most of your favourite PC games with a set of specs that only changed depending on internal storage (and eventually small differences in battery life.) So what changed between the times that the Steam Machine and Steam Deck released? Well, the PC and console markets (at least at the time of writing this article, 12/21/2023) are a bit more stable in how new and better parts are being pushed. Make no mistake, the PC community’s search for new and more powerful machines will always be a constant, but it's at the very least a little easier to keep up with right now. On top of that, the Nintendo Switch made MASSIVE waves in the console landscape being a near instant success story of merging handheld and home console markets into one harmonious group. Handhelds were all the rage, with many companies throwing in their lot with the mobile console idea such as the LYRA for playing classic games, and Google’s STADIA (which hilariously imploded shortly after launching to poor reception). Valve’s new device was right at home in the new invigorated market of gaming-on-the-go, a boom of innovative and experimental handhelds to rival the Gameboy’s release all the way back in 1989 (but more on that later.) The Steam Deck launched to a generally positive reception. Lots of PC gamers were more than happy to add the device to their repertoire of ways to play their favourite games, with higher ups in the gaming space like Tim Sweeny of Epic Games and Phil Spencer of Microsoft calling it “An amazing move by Valve!” (- Quoted from a PC Gamer article by Andy Chalk written in 2021 titled “Tim Sweeney: Steam Deck is 'an amazing move by Valve”, link in sources section) The things the Steam Deck was offering on launch were more in line with what some key parts of the overall gaming space wanted at the time, and so the device was more positively received by people already in those spaces. Now let’s talk about what I said before about consoles being able to play their games off the bat and why the Steam Deck stood out despite being essentially a handheld PC. The Steam Deck stripped away the modularity that the Steam Machines boasted by having a set table of Specs to offer across all 3 of its launch models, with the price and model really only determining how much storage you got. At launch the Steam Deck models on offer were the following:

-$400 for 64gb of internal eMMC storage(embedded multi media card, think a thumb drive) (and a bonus carrying case!) -$530 for 256gb of internal SSD storage (SSD or Solid State Drive being a decent bit faster than eMMC but also more pricey) (exclusive steam profile goodies and a bonus carrying case still! wow!)

-$650 for 512gb of internal SSD storage AND a more premium anti-glare etched glass screen (along with the profile goodies, a steam virtual keyboard theme and the bonus carrying case! wowsers!!!)

These models were more on-par with consoles of the time. Maybe not as powerful, but comparatively so in performance and price in such a way that the Steam Deck was a genuinely appealing offer to not only someone who already knew their stuff about PC gaming, but someone who played on PC and maybe didn’t know too much but wanted a good mobile option other than a laptop. Now those are both still parts of the same niche, PC gamers, and we’re here to talk about your average console Jane, as it were. And we will! But first let’s compare Valve’s previous attempt with the Steam Machines to their modern success. One of the most powerful (at the time) Steam Machines on offer was the Alienware Machine. Alienware is a popular manufacturer of gaming PCs and laptops for those not in-the-know. Here’s what anywhere from $550-$900 could get you in 2014:

Alienware Steam Machine basic specifications:

Processor

Haswell Intel Based CPU

RAM

4GB - 8GB

GPU

Nvidia GPUX

HDD

500GB - 2 TB

(specifications sourced from IGN’s “Steam Machine Guide” from 2014, link in sources section) Now at the time these were decently impressive specs, but I would like to point out both the price tag and the fact that some of these parts vary! If you don’t know, the GPU (graphics processing unit) being listed as “Nvidia GPUX” could be any one of SEVERAL parts which would most likely change your price point wildly. In fact, everything on this list is a variable component! Having anywhere between 4gb-8gb of RAM, what size HDD you have, and what CPU you put in, could end up boosting you all the way to that $900 point mentioned above. As stated before, this wasn’t going to win over anyone who was already going to pay $500 less for a PS4 that could just play PS4 games with no research on components needed. Let’s compare these general specs to those of the Steam Deck, which haven’t changed much since its launch in 2022. No matter what model you pick (aside from the storage and screen in the case of the 512gb model) here’s what you get in a Steam Deck:

Steam Deck basic specifications:

APU

6 nm AMD APU

CPU: Zen 2 4c/8t, 2.4-3.5GHz (up to 448 GFlops FP32)

GPU: 8 RDNA 2 CUs, 1.6GHz (1.6 TFlops FP32)

APU power: 4-15W

RAM

16 GB LPDDR5 on-board RAM (6400 MT/s quad 32-bit channels) Storage Steam Deck 64GB eMMC

Steam Deck 256GB NVMe SSD

Steam Deck 512GB NVMe SSD

(specs sourced from the Valve official website for the Steam Deck, link in sources section)

Granted there’s almost 10 years of technology between these specs and those of the Alienware, the point here is consistency. All 3 models of the Steam Deck use the exact same internal components for things like GPU, CPU, RAM, and almost everything else! To someone looking for something with more oomph than the Switch and maybe even wanting to get into PC gaming alongside it, it’s a pretty good deal! And it’s only gotten MORE appealing with more recent developments in the Steam Deck’s models and pricing, but we’ll talk about that after a short jaunt through gaming history.

Part 3: Handheld market factor history and why I think the Steam Deck is a pretty cool example of them (intermission from the Steam Deck)

As I said we’re gonna take a short break to talk about what I would consider the core of this article. You may have noticed me using terms like “handheld boom” and “market”. I’m gonna throw out some more of those so bare with me, but we’re gonna talk about the Gameboy. What’s so special about the Gameboy? Lots of people know it for being the most popular handheld console of the 4th generation beating out the likes of the Atari Lynx and more importantly, the Sega Game Gear. Why is that important? We’ll get there in a second I promise. The bigger question is “why was the gameboy successful?” to which the answer is usually “brand recognition”. Which isn’t incorrect in its own right, but is only one piece of a larger whole. The Gameboy entered a market that was predominantly occupied by two things, home consoles and arcade games. Handheld games DID exist, but not in the cartridge based console form the Gameboy popularized. This “wild west” era of console development was the second resurgence of video games after a market crash from 1983 to 1985. Spearheaded by the 3rd generation consisting of heavy hitters like the NES and Sega Master System, it gave way to an era of constant development and innovation attempts. The Gameboy specifically hit a couple of key factors when it comes to your average person. No remember, this was during a time when large portions of people still didn’t really understand what a video game was, and a lot of them were even marketed as toys to help them sell. The Gameboy’s success lies in a few points that went a long way towards selling it specifically to people without a ton of video game experience. These were: price point, and usability. 

Let’s get into it! First off: price point! In 1989 the Gameboy launched with an introductory price of $90 in the US. Compare this to the Sega Game Gear releasing the following year for $150, and the Atari Lynx at $180. Retailing for HALF the price of a (at the time) big name competitor is kind of a big deal! Price point ties directly into something like accessibility for something being sold as a product, and needless to say paying less than $100 for something with Nintendo’s (again at the time) pedigree behind it put the Gameboy in the hands of a LOT of people. Next off: Usability! What does this mean? Well, this one is a bit rocky. To put it bluntly: the Gameboy was incredibly underpowered for its generation. (A Nintendo console underpowered? Never!) Why was this a good thing? From the perspective of someone trying to get the most “bang for their buck” so to speak, the Gameboy’s underwhelming specs gave it a bit of an edge. How you may ask? Battery life and cost! Let’s get the bad out of the way first by directly comparing the Gameboy and the Sega Game Gear. The old SGG was rocking not only a full colour backlit display in 1990, but also had a good bit more horsepower as far as its specifications go. Able to run full colour games at nearly 60fps on a handheld in the 90s is nothing to sneeze at! But the cost of that is 6 whole AA batteries that would die out in anywhere between 3-5 hours depending on the games you play. The Gameboy in comparison, had a simple dot matrix display that only showed in black and white. (or various shades of off-green if you’ve ever seen one in person.) 

The Gameboy as well couldn’t handle beefier games, with notable examples like Mario Land 2: The six golden coins having a good amount of slowdown due to its large chunky sprites and level assets. So its battery life must’ve been something special then? Compared to the Game Gear, absolutely. Clocking in at 15+ hours of battery life on just 4 of the same AAs the Game Gear uses, the Gameboy’s game time and price were unbeatable. 

This is why I think it's important to look at more than just a piece of hardware’s specifications when it comes to measuring success. And I can hear you. “Clair, why are we talking about the Gameboy and how it sold a bajillion units because it was more affordable and had Tetris on it? How does this relate to the Steam Deck?” Well my dear reader, let’s finally answer that and talk about the new Handheld Boom.

Part 4: The Steam Deck (part 2: OLED and new pricing)

So here we are! The year is 2023, the Nintendo Switch is 6 years old, the Steam Deck has been selling decently well, and I need to wrap this whole thing up. In November 2023, Valve announced the Steam Deck was getting some pricing adjustments, as well as a brand new model that included better battery life and a slightly larger OLED screen for better picture quality. The Introduction of the new OLED model not only introduced 2 new tiers of Steam Decks to choose from (the new OLED 512gb model for $550 and the OLED 1tb model for $650), but also locked in ONE of the previous Steam Deck LCD models as the only LCD model available, for a price cut! If you go back and look at the old pricing, the 256gb LCD model used to cost $530. Due to the OLED models knocking out the lower tier LCD models entirely, the price has now been locked at just $400. Why does this matter? Well, just like with the Gameboy, you’re making some sacrifices for the lower cost. The higher tier OLED models have nicer screens and better batteries, but also cost a good bit more. Just as well, the Steam Deck is in NO way one of the beefiest PC gaming devices on the market. 

In recent years more and more PC handhelds have been coming out to try and cash in on what the Steam Deck has set up. My personal favourite example is the ROG Ally, and AMD powered handheld that for all intents and purposes, outpaces the Steam Deck in raw power. So why aren’t people flocking to the Ally? Well the basic model clocks in at around $600, and can be upgraded with a better processor for another $100. Looking at just the basic models for both, the Steam Deck wins out on being just the right amount of a powerhouse it needs to be for just over half the price of the Ally. This matters because that’s going to appeal to different parts of the market and landscape as a whole. 

I hold the opinion that the Steam Deck serves as an EXCELLENT initial entry point into PC gaming for someone who has only ever played on console. It offers that console experience the Steam Machines tried so hard to at a price point that most people interested in game consoles are paying nowadays anyway. A PS5 cost $500, and a PS4 (the console the deck is most likely to be on par with) launched for $400. I find it a much easier sell to get someone who wants to get into PC to play with friends, or have a Switch-like experience for games not available on it, than trying to tell them the $700 one gets more FPS and has a better processor. It all comes down to those factors of price point and usability. It's been so interesting to see the Steam Deck rise into popularity in so many corners of the internet that I hang around in. I haven’t even talked about how emulating on the Steam Deck is one of the most seamless and easy to set up processes I’ve ever seen! With arguably the best LCD model option now locked at the introductory price for most modern game consoles, it’s so neat to see what could genuinely be considered a truly NEW game console enter the fray. And a handheld at that! Part 5: I am just one woman (conclusion and thanks)

Hey there! If you read through all this garbled nonsense I’d like to extend a small thank you. I also want to take a second to say that I’m not presenting any of this as objective facts. Yes I have listed facts in this article, but as the title of this section says, I am just one woman. These are my overly excited thoughts on a phenomenon I’ve observed in my own time and wanted to share with anyone who would read it. Thanks a ton for reading! I’ll be back with more ramblings at some point, but for now let's part with this: The Steam Deck is an awesome piece of tech that I feel really shakes up the gaming space. I’m not sponsored by anyone, I’ve only been paid in the satisfaction of writing. If you’re someone who doesn’t dabble much in PC gaming, and are planning to buy a new console, maybe give the Steam Deck a try! I definitely plan on getting one after watching some stuff on the EmuDeck frontend for emulation and being thoroughly impressed. That’s all for now, see ya around! -Clair (FembotY2K) (sources below the cut!)

[jujumin-translates]

Event | the Rad Red | Epilogue: Longing Red

Tenma: …

Taichi: Ten-chan, c’mere~…

Taichi: Saved a spot for you over on the edge here…

Tenma: Sorry about that. Hey, what’s with your voice?

Taichi: I gave it my all singing at yesterday’s finale and kinda wrecked my voice~...

Tenma: Yeah, that’s inevitable if you do that…

Tenma: Here, try this, it's good on the throat. I carry it all the time.

Taichi: Huh~, honey? I’ll give it a try.

Taichi: …

Taichi: Hm? Huh?

Taichi: This really is good!

Tenma: Still doesn’t mean you should be pushing yourself too hard.

Taichi: Thanks for the pro tip, Ten-chan!

Tenma: The live music at the end of the Autumn Troupe play was really good. It really raised the quality of the show overall.

Tenma: It’s amazing that you were able to perfect the band to that level, and I think that you were only able to get the best out of it because you were the lead, Taichi.

Taichi: Ehehe, thanks!

Tenma: I went with the rest of Summer Troupe to see it and Yuki praised it too. Kazunari and Kumon were making a huge fuss while being all emotional over the whole thing.

Tenma: Muku said some of the band stuff reminded him of a guy from a shoujo manga and Misumi was completely fixated on the guitar picks being triangles.

Taichi: Ahaha! I’m glad you all liked it!

Tenma: It was different to see you with black hair instead of red hair, Taichi. But I don’t think it had anything to do with the difference in flashiness.

Tenma: It had more to do with seeing how amazing your presence was when you were leading the band with your passion for music.

Taichi: Ten-chan…

Taichi: (I’m glad that Ten-chan, of all people, recognized that.)

Taichi: (I used to just dye it from black to red to compete with Ten-chan when he was starring in all those drama shoots…)

Taichi: (I don’t need to do that anymore. Now it’s purely just my identity.)

Taichi: Have you ever wanted to change your hair color from what it is now, Ten-chan?

Tenma: My hair color?

Tenma: I’ve never really thought about it because I’m happy with the way it is now…

Tenma: But I’d change it to whatever color I’d need it to be for a role. That’s just an actor’s nature, y’know?

Taichi: …Yeah!

Taichi: (That’s right… I’ll keep dyeing my hair to be the “Taichi Nanao” I wanna be.)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Azami: Wrapping up the play run at this place again, huh.

Omi: We came here for the 8th performance too, didn’t we?

Director: We’ve been coming here so often…

Banri: We’re like regulars, aren’t we?

Juza: Coulda gone to Zen-san’s restaurant…

Taichi: We get to eat a whole Manchu-Han Imperial Feast when we come here, so why wouldn’t we!

Rento: Well, s’not like we get Chinese food often so, I’m all for it.

Manager: That’s right~. Plus, we can eat here without worrying about the price and Furuichi-san’s gaze~.

Azami: Knew it was just because of the budget.

Sakyo: Just shut up and eat.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Taichi: Are you gonna drink, Juza-san? I heard that the fruit wine here is really good~.

Juza: Nah, I shouldn’t, if I drink too much I’ll get drunk…

Taichi: It’ll be fine~!

Azami: Why are you trying to get him drunk?

Taichi: I wanna see the Juza-san who praises me for the performance!

Azami: You’re just greedy.

Rento: Uuuue… Truly a god of all gods! I’m in the presence of a god of arrangements!

Director: So this is what Rento-san is like when he’s drunk.

Omi: His baseline adoration had gone up to a whole other level.

Rento: How are you able to make arrangements like a god!?

Manager: Ahaha, they’re really not that good~.

Rento: You are THE god…!

Banri: Whatcha drinking, Sakyo-san?

Sakyo: Since we’re here, might as well try some Chinese alcohol.

Banri: Never heard of it before.

Sakyo: The alcohol content is high, so drink it in moderation.

Manager: Furuichi-saaan! Pleeeease listen to Kinozaki-kun about all my accomplishments! And please give me a raise!

Sakyo: Haah? Tch, I’m coming over by you now, don’t yell.

Banri: …Whoa, damn this is strong.

Taichi: Is it good, Ban-chan?

Banri: Hm? Ain’t bad.

Taichi: Whoa…

Banri: Don’t start askin’ me questions like you’re one of my relative’s kids or somethin’.

Taichi: Ahaha!

Taichi: I’m really glad we were able to make the best song ever for this. And it’s all thanks to you, Ban-chan.

Taichi: It was fun to hang out in the studio like that. It was like we were real teenagers in a band.

Banri: I really thought the lyrics you wrote were legit good, Taichi.

Banri: As for the play, I really liked the surprisingly subtle emotions you had.

Banri: When you played Daichi, I thought you had really detailed facial expressions when we faced each other on stage.

Banri: Even from a production standpoint, I loved seeing you take on the challenge of playing a role that was super different from your usual self.

Banri: I guess there’s just some roles that only you can play because of what you’ve been through.

Taichi: Hehe, I’m happy to hear that from you, Ban-chan~.

Rento: Y’all put on a great live and performance!

Rento: Not to mention that the godly arrangement, the melody, and the lyrics were all great! It’s a sound that y’all could’ve only created ‘cause of who you are now.

Taichi: Thanks!

Banri: I learned a little bit about composing from this, so maybe I’ll be able to look into it more with Rento-san for the next performance.

Rento: Lookin’ forward to it!

Rento: Ooh, you’re drinkin’ some good alcohol there. This one’s good too~.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Juza: Fuu…

Omi: Did you drink too much?

Juza: Nah, but I ate too much.

Banri: Every time we come here, you always eat too many sesame dumplings.

Juza: Shut it. This time I had more annin tofu.

Banri: Pft… Hahahaha! So you had even more than usual. Fuckin’ dumbass. Hahaha!

Taichi: Ban-chan seems to be more giggly than usual.

Omi: He must be drunk.

Sakyo: As I figured, the Chinese alcohol was too strong for Settsu.

Taichi: This kind of Ban-chan is interesting too.

Director: Banri-kun has a high tolerance, so it’s rare to see him drunk.

Director: When you turn 20, you’ll be able to make a toast with Sakyo-san and the others who can drink, Taichi-kun.

Taichi: That’s true~... Man, I feel a little older just think~ing about it!

Director: Ahaha, is that so?

Taichi: When I first joined the troupe, Sakyo-nii seemed way more mature than me and also seemed more distant from me, but…

Taichi: My impression of him has changed since we’ve been on stage together a lot and gotten to know each other more.

Taichi: But there is one think that I’ve always admired about Sakyo-nii and the other Autumn Troupe members ever since the first performance.

Taichi: Everyone has their own passionate feelings inside that are burning like a bright red flame.

Taichi: The bright red color that I love so much is also the color that each and every Autumn Troupe member has.

Director: Red is the color of Autumn Troupe, huh? I guess it really is.

Director: (I’ve had this thought before, but Taichi-kun really is becoming a more and more wonderful young man by the day.)

Director: (I’m looking forward to seeing him grow up to be just as wonderful of an adult as he is now, with that same bright red hair.)

Taichi: I wonder if I’d be more popular if I became a man who looks hella fine drinking.

Director: I’m glad to see that same Taichi-kun-like way of thinking hasn’t changed at all.

Taichi: Popularity is one of my most important motivators after all!

[ ⇠ Previous Part ]

[freetheshit-outofyou]

Hi Sir.

First, thank you for your years of service.

But thank you also for your intelligent, interesting, often funny, always thought provoking Tumblr!

(My own Tumblr is, um, less high minded.)

We may be very different men in some ways, but your ideas on government, self defense, outdoor recreation, food, nature, married life, and most other subjects are right on, Sir!

On marriage, I happen to have a husband, not a wife, but I think for both of us the experience is an amazing journey of discovery and adaptation.

On self defense, I was never in the military. Honestly I don't know what half the weapons you post are. I just try to do a little karate, and lately a little kobudo in my "old age." (59, the oldest I've ever been!) But I marvel at your evident skill and breadth of knowledge. The whole point of being able to fight, after all, is to attain peace.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts online, Sir!

Just when I’m sure the Human race is beyond recovery someone pops up and reminds me there are still good damned people on this blue sphere we call home. @hoss-sc, First and foremost, thank you for your kind words, with that said I have been accused of a great many things, High Minded is not one of them, but I'll take what I can get. Thank you, it is my honor to have served, I found more than I’ve lost and it changed my perspective on so much. It is true we are different men but as I have found, people as individuals, devoid of the separations and segregation that are placed on us by society and governments see more eye to eye than we know. When you understand that the very people, organizations and governments that keep putting us in little boxes are the very one’s fanning the flames of hate and distrust. Reminds me of this scene from Men In Black.

I don't have much need of those little boxes, those categories that we are yoked with. I chose who I like, or dislike, based on who they are not who I'm told they are. As I have said many times on here I don't care where a person comes from, who they bend a knee to, who they sleep with or what color they are. My baseline qualifier is what kind of Human they are. I have never had one of those artificial sub-categories clarify a person for me, only time and actions can so that. The chaff will always separate from the Wheat given enough time to do so.

I am pleased you and I have much more in common than not. I think every Human has Rights that exist before the laws of men. I think life outside teaches more practical lessons than and room and 4 walls can. I think Governments should be small and people should be allowed to be free. Hoss, I’m glad you have found your love and your happiness, damnit it is a rare thing in this age of instant gratifications and disposable relationships. With that said I have been married 3 times, the first one left me while I was deployed, the second one stabbed me and the one I spent all those years looking for, well, we’ve been together 17 years this July. I don’t care if one is in a same sex relationship or an opposite sex relationship, who people sleep with has very little to do with me or what I think of them. I’m sure you and I could have long conversations about the boxes society has created to keep people both locked up and hidden in. Self-defense, Man this hits me to my core. EVERY HUMAN HAS THE RIGHT TO SELF-DEFENSE!! Self-defense is the cornerstone to living a life free from oppression either from thugs and criminals or oppressive governments. I think everyone should learn a form of unarmed self-defense and learn to use firearms because deferring your safety and the safety of those you love to someone less concerned about your survival just isn’t the greatest option. I taught unarmed self-defense for 10 years and I have taught armed defense for close to 30 years, each one is an important aspect in our personal responsibility to not live in victimhood. A few years back I started training in Filipino martial arts (kali, escrima, arnis) with a guy out at NAS Fallon, it is so different from the traditional Jiu Jitsu I started with in the 90’s and the Gracie style of Jiu Jitsu I did for many many years and the same style my kids do now. I trained at if for a little over a year before the guy got orders and I haven’t found an instructor since, small town blues. I cannot accurately express how important I feel self-defense is. But, as you know, as we get on in the years all the shit we did to our bodies in our younger more rambunctious years starts to slow us down. I’ll be 53 in June and all those “Oh shit, I survived that!” moments remind me that I am not quite a spry as I once was, but I’m also not dead. I will never be as fast or agile as I was at 20 or 30 or even 40 but I will never go down without a fight, it’s just not in my DNA. Thank you again, I mean that from the deepest places in my soul. “The ultimate aim of martial arts is not having to use them” ― Miyamoto Musashi, A Book of Five Rings: The Classic Guide to Strategy

[toonpunk-game]

So what happens next?

So.

Toonpunk Second Edition is out. While I have stories to tell in the Saskatoon setting, that part of my endeavor - creating the game and establishing the baseline for what its fiction and gameplay looks like - is, broadly speaking, “behind me”. I’m still going to fund and add more illustrations to fill out some missing spaces - that’s gonna take time, that’s gonna take multiple revisions of the PDF, but it’s all fairly easily done.

So here we arrive at the question: what’s “Next” for Toonpunk? 

Well, at risk of sounding a little like a carnie...you ain’t seen nothin yet. Toonpunk, as you know of it, has only ever been a preamble. The Saskatoon setting is just a foundation. For years I’ve known what I wanted to do next, but I just had to get this right. 

Before I can answer that question in detail, I gotta tell you about a tiny patch of land in central Alabama. 

The bounded area here - that weird little polygon - is where I’m from. I was born here. I’ve lived my entire life here. I’ve spent less than a cumulative two months of my life anywhere else. More than 99% of my life has been spent in this unremarkable subrural sprawl. I’ve watched the city expand and contract; I’ve watched the farmlands get shaved away and I’ve seen the buildings grow tall and then become rubble again. I’ve seen people come here seeking fortune and leave to seek it again. And I’ve come to live it all, as anyone loves their home. I love the long hot nights and the obstreperous Summer storms; I love the strange people and their bizarre customs; I love the rich forests and the undulating hills, where the roads wind so circuitously they at times seem noneuclidean. 

There’s between two and three hundred thousand people in this red polygon.

We, and it, are being erased.

We’re being erased by inches, the same way most people like us are. Year after year the thermometers keep rising and our politicians keep enacting more and more brutality against us. We, a hopeless people, prostrate ourselves before a system that we know hates us. Some of us have families that have been here since the time of our ancestors - when they were dragged here in iron to make some plantation owner rich. The rest of the country pretends not to see us; and when the rest of the world does look at us, it’s with disgust. It is commonly reproduced in everyday conversation that this is a land of hopelessly backwards racists, whose impending annihilation will do the world some measure of good.

And let’s not make any bones about it: there’s some real rotten goddamn people in this place. But no more than anywhere else. Here you find a world of kind souls, who tend a needy neighbor; noble outlaws who bring charity wherever they walk; people of the forest and the swamp, who love every creature under the sun as they love their own family; punk rockers, hopeful artists; a robust queer scene; decent people who were born here, and never gave up the ship. All clapped in irons by the rule of law, as my ancestors were before us, so that we may never take our freedom nor give our kindness.

And one day - one day soon - we will all be erased. Either the heat will go up so high we can’t live here, or the sea will rise and swallow us, or the fascist genocide crusade will liquidate every one of these decent souls. And when this happens, the news will be received in Denver and Sacramento and New York City with indifference; but more than that, with relief. A great many souls will hear that Alabama and Georgia and Louisiana and Mississippi are no more, and they will mutter “good”. And that shall be the end of that.

I don’t really think it’s in my power to change that. But I won’t let it happen quietly.

All of this is to say that my next project is Toonpunk: Hellsouth. A toonpunk expansion, and setting, that takes place in and around my home state of Alabama - a monument to the strange people, beautiful places, and idiosyncratic culture that brought me to this point.

As a game, it’s a near-complete overhaul of the toonpunk core mechanics that turn it into a tense resource-management survival-horror game, where the stakes get even higher and the fights get even uglier. I’ve got some incredible things to show you already: Movie-monster inspired abilities, which players can level up by forging pacts with the creatures of the deep black; a wholly retooled damage model, where even one bullet can be deadly; expanded mechanics built around bluffing and standoffs; weather simulations and long distance travel - all wrapped up in a unique cartoon/cyberpunk setting that didn’t “fall” through the cracks so much as it was “pushed”. This is a great labor of love that I’ve been working on for years; and, regrettably - it won’t be done for a long, long time to come.

Unlike the original Toonpunk, I intend this book to feature many stories from people who live in this part of the country, from many different storytellers. It is in some ways a cairn for my homeland, erected while it’s still mostly-intact. 

I don’t know if this book will really be for everyone. But if you feel like it might be for you, and you have a story about some place in Dixieland that’s near and dear to your heart - shoot me a DM.

Stay tooned. 

[izzythehutt]

Forgive me if you’ve spoken about this before, or if my assumption is incorrect, but I think it would be interesting to hear your opinion on the interpretation of Jesse as a Christ-like figure considering from what I’ve gathered you’re a Christian? A lot of people who I see draw comparison between Jesse and Christ (including myself) are either not religious or have had a negative experience with religion so I think it would be interesting to hear from someone who has a different experience.

I think the main problem with that interpretation is that none of Jesse’s suffering is particularly redemptive or self-sacrificial, which would be the baseline requirement for him to be a Christ-figure.

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of bad things happen to him: but it’s never because he’s consciously choosing that suffering for the sake of another person. The one exception to this might be continuing to cook for Jack's gang to keep them from killing Brock, and even that is a coerced choice between two evils—and Brock’s mother would never have died, Brock would never be in the position of being threatened in the first place, if he was not a pawn in Jesse and Walt’s codependent self-perpetuating psycho-drama.

That’s what it all goes back to. Listening to Walt, being Walt’s partner in crime—gets Jesse beat up by criminals or used as emotional leverage against him. The overwhelming guilt Jesse feels all stems from things he did to help Walt, save him, in service of their mutual criminal partnership or out of wrath/hurt at what Walt has put him through.

It’s because of his cooperation with evil that Jesse (and his loved ones) suffer, and that makes him far more of an Adamic figure than a Christ figure.

For my money, the closest we ever get to a truly Christ-like act in the show would be Flynn throwing himself between his mother and father to protect her, knowing full well that Walt could easily overpower him and acting under the assumption that his father has just murdered another member of their family. Junior is as close to an innocent as Breaking Bad has—the only character more innocent than him is the baby—and if he had somehow ended up injured or dead by Walt’s hand because he was shielding Skyler, that would be truly laying down his life for another person. Respect for Flynn, you were more than breakfast memes.

I don’t necessarily know how useful it even is to think about this particular narrative in this way, tbh. Breaking Bad is not an allegorical or didactic show, nor is it particularly moralistic (though it is keenly interested in morality.) It can be read on a realist, psychological level, and through the lens of noir, crime and western genres. It’s definitely not consciously symbolic.

But, if you were going to make the case for a Biblical symbolic interpretation, the glaringly obvious one is Walter White as the Luciferian figure par excellence. Is there a fictional character who more perfectly exemplifies the sin of pride than Walt? A brilliant scientist (Lucifer was, after all, the Angel of Light—the greatest of all the angels) who makes a spectacular fall from grace and proceeds to drag many others down to his level.

So, if Mr. White is “the devil”, then that would make Jesse his Adam. Exiled from the garden of (comparative) innocence in the pilot because he agrees to the partnership between them (his ‘deal with the Devil’, so to speak) Jesse then spends the next sixty-some episodes making a lot of terrible choices, directly and indirectly leading to a lot of pain and suffering, because of that partnership. That’s the entirety of salvation history (as Christians understand it) in a nutshell. This is Jesse Pinkman’s equivalent of taking the apple of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil—his original sin.

Man is made in God’s image, and like Adam and all his sons, Jesse still has a conscience—the spark of divinity lives in him. He still wants to do the right thing, but his relationship with Walt constantly pulls him back into the world of crime and evil. By the end of the show he’s become a literal slave to sin—his ability to make the blue meth, the gift his devilish mentor gave him that helped Jesse attain honor, power and money in the drug trade, now keeps him literally shackled in a hole in the ground. It’s not exactly subtle, is it?

But he does break free in the end. Not from his literal slavery—Walt has to be the one to free him from that—but from evil.

Jesse’s refusal to end Walt’s life at his command is him simultaneously breaking free of Mr. White’s control over his actions and refusing to continue the cycle of violence his old teacher fostered and Jesse enabled at every turn.

He does it all on his own. He makes the choice. After a lot of suffering, so even if there’s not a salvific figure in this universe persay, there is purgation.

(Ironically, Walt shielding Jesse with his body and taking a literal bullet for him would be an almost textbook Christ-like sacrificial death....except Walt was the person who set off the gun in the first place. Also the idea of putting Walter White and Jesus in the same thought, let alone comparing them....repels me for what I hope are obvious reasons, lol.)

What I liked about El Camino was Jesse finally having serious moral growth and maturity (not shocking that Walt had to die for it to happen.) The scene where he calls his parents, absolves them of blame and takes responsibility for his own actions was such exponential growth for him—the boy becoming a man. And his ultimate fate is to spend the rest of his life in a kind of exile. All of this comes at such a high cost, but there is atonement. It does all mean something.

[whentherewerebicycles]

i got two really nice emails from faculty on the hiring committee this morning (the hiring manager just told them that i’d accepted) which made me so happy. aaaaaaaa i think i’m starting to finally transition out of the residual stress/anxiety stage behind and fully into the giddy happy butterflies stage. i feel like i could burst into tears of joy!! and i am gently hushing both my ‘there MUST be some catch’ and my ‘if a good thing happens, a BAD THING must be about to happen to balance it!’ inner voices, because sometimes a thing can just be good. i worked really hard and i got a really good outcome and i feel really grateful/happy/fortunate.

i’ve been thinking about that anxious ruminating a lot over the past few days, just trying to notice it as it’s happening. i feel like i’ve always had an tendency towards rumination but i do think it’s gotten markedly worse over the past nine months. as you might have gathered lol i’ve been pretty lowkey (and sometimes highkey) miserable and despairing about work, and i know i tend to get more depressed/anxious when i don’t have a clear sense of purpose or meaning in my life. i also think the social isolation of being fully remote in a job where i don’t have any work friends and in a new city where i don’t have an extended social circle has kinda fucked with my baseline mood. i’ve written a lot over the past nine months about not feeling like myself, and i think that’s just like, partly feeling like i’d lost my professional identity, but also partly just noticing that i feel a lot more fretful and discontent and prone to extended funks than i usually do. but i DO think it’s situational and i DO believe that i can/will bounce back to a self that feels more familiar once i change the big and small things in my environment that are fueling my unhappiness.

here are some things that are going to be REALLY good for me.

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to pursue values-aligned work that energizes and excites me. blah blah your work shouldn’t be your hobby or whatever but work kind of IS one of my hobbies and when i’m in a job i really love i spend every day thinking I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY PAY ME TO DO STUFF I WOULD JUST DO FOR FUN

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to get up, get ready right away, and go into campus most or all days a week. give me ROUTINE. give me a WORKPLACE that is separate from my home place. give me CAMPUS TIME!!!!!

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to talk to multiple people every single day. i need lots of alone time but i also NEED meaningful facetime with people and this job has just been brutal on that front

it’s going to be REALLY good (on a related note) for me to work with students again. i love working with students. it is so meaningful and good and energizing for me to work with students. i have missed it so so much.

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to be in a role that pushes me out of my comfort zone and forces me to stretch a bit. i haven’t even been coasting in this job... i’ve been totally stagnant. no growth, no challenge, no opportunities to stretch or learn. i’m gonna LEARN NEW THINGS again!!!!!!! i’m gonna feel so so so so so so so so so so much better!

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to have to budget! haha this seems silly and counterintuitive but honestly i think that making too much money is kind of bad for me! it makes it easier for me to live wastefully and be more thoughtless in my my choices/spending habits. i also feel like it was just so important to me to not get so used to being at this income level that i could never take a step back if i wanted to/needed to. i want to have enough money to live comfortably and to be able to afford thoughtfully chosen indulgences. but i don’t want to make obscene amounts of money for doing the most pointless work ever to the point where money is no object for me. idk dude! i want to value the money i make because i value the work did to earn it. and i want to value and appreciate the opportunity to make thoughtful choices about how/where to spend it.

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to be out of this job. god! i hope that three months from now my relationship with my lead seems like a weird disturbing fever dream i had lol. i cannot fucking WAIT to be out from under this woman’s thumb. and i can’t wait to apply everything i learned to NOT being like her in any of my managing roles in the future. phew!!!

[joy-haver]

Happy national coming out day. Here’s my queerness update/inventory for the year.

Call it what you want, I’m datin like half of y’all anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️(I wrote this to send to my friends. The joke isn’t true of my tumble but fuck it, I’m keeping it in)

Gender feelings:

contextual. Complicated. Like a tradwife in a nonbinary way. Like a young boy on his first hunt. Like a grandmother on a porch. Like a grandfather telling stories. Like a mother, mothering. Like a father, failing and righteous. Like an aunt, not an uncle, I don’t know why. Like a priestess, but the kind you go to for wisdom. Like a healer. Like a 13th century farm wife to a roving herdsman. Genders that don’t exist in our social context. Genders that have never existed.

Gender presentations:

Usually very femme, I wear corsetts and skirts and dresses and have long hair. But I tend to pull masculine elements into it, and I don’t despise the masculine aspect of my being. Other times, shorts and a tshirt 🤷🏻‍♀️.

And I’m fat, which can be degendering or hyper gendering, depending. at this point I’m not sure what I pass as and how often and to who.

Biological sex:

As far as I’m aware, i am perisex, meaning I have no intersex conditions. (no notable or medicalized congenital [from birth] variations in my sexual characteristics (limited definition))

I have, however been on HRT for nearly 5 years. My hrt journey has been rather unique, and far different than anyone I’ve ever encountered. I’m not consistently on progesterone or antiandrgens, and I’ve stopped Estrogen twice for a few months due to shortages.

I have had no relevant surgeries.

I also had an abnormal initial puberty, and some weird stuff with that.

So I think it’s safe to say I’m no longer sufficiently “male”, but not quite anything else that’s defined. Which is nice.

(A)Sexuality:

contextual. Long periods of no sexual attraction being my baseline, and moderate periods where my baseline is sexual attraction. But there’s always veriation in the form of little peaks and hills and apparitions. It seems very tied to both my hormones and my bipolar disorder

Sexual attraction:

Idk y’all every time I define it I’m proved wrong. However, I can say that I find that it grows out of mutual desire, availability, accessibility, and a feeling of equality in a relationship. I like a verity of human bodies. But, I find myself incapable of more than fleeting sexual attraction to those I have power over (whether real power or perceived).

Romantic attraction: constantly, but differently than most folks. I’m attracted, first and foremost, to Earnest people. A variety of people. People who look like they know themselves well. People who don’t put me on a pedestal. People who love to grow. People who believe in harm reduction/prison abolition. People with strong values. But ultimately, I view romance as an activity you do, either with someone or about them, that produces certain feelings and realities of intimacy, and closeness, and soul sharing. To me, romance is the act of tying one’s souls together

Polyamory:

Goodness. I’m a relationship anarchist. I think I’ve taken that ideology and made it my own in many ways. It’s quite a bit more anarchistic, and spiritual? And religious? To me nowadays. It’s almost hard to define myself as polyamorous anymore, just because of how far removed I am from that framework due to the flexibility of my relationships.

What it means to me to be queer:

I’ve tried to answer with nuance and complexity in categories of gender, sexual attraction, aceness, sex, etc. i definitely could write like 20-25 pages minimum on each, but my hands are tired and I’m sure you are tired of reading.

But in reality, the most important aspect of my queerness is this: I seek to be in good community. With everyone, and everything, and every idea, In every singe way that I can.

I seek to undermine and outgrow all systems of harm and oppression. I seek to live freely, for the benefit of all people. I seek to meet my needs, for myself, and so that I can meet the needs of community.

That is queerness.

To be queer is not to be ace, trans, gay, intersex or polyamorous, or whatever identity. Not on it’s own, and not exclusively. To be queer is to live in earnest community, and plan for the future.

Because, what it means to not be queer in our society, to be normal, is that one is abiding by systems of domination. To live the prescribed life you have been given is to act in reaction, and to neglect the needs of all humanity, and all life on earth.

I don’t mean that if you are straight and cis and het and allo and perisex and monogamous that you are the enemy of the people. What I do mean is that if you live prescriptively by what our system has told you those mean, if you refuse to queer them, you are the enemy of the people.

And so,

to be queer is to be against the state.

To be queer is to LIVE against the state.

To be queer is to be in active,

good relations with all things,

and to purposefully undue the harms caused by empire, eugenics, domination, and white supremacy.

Happy coming out day, may your queerness grow every day, and every year.

[whoovesnassistant]

Skit Contest Entry 12

“Time Heals All Wounds” - By DigiKate

The TARDIS doors creak open as frantic hoofsteps and grumbling of the 3 ponies who occupy this time and space ship can be heard stumbling in.

Doctor: Just sit right down Tick Tock. You’re gonna be just fine. Looks like it’s just a scrape.

Tick Tock: I’m not sure I’d call a second degree burn a scrape.

Doctor: It is compared to a third degree burn. Or someone giving you the third degree. Ohhh that’s so annoying. Some ponies just can’t take a hint and think everyone wants to hear them talk and talk and talk and talk and tal-

Derpy: (interrupts) You knooooow, maybe next time you offer to play a game of The Floor is Lava, it might be smart to warn us that the floor is actual lava.

Doctor: Well what else would you expect at a field day picnic on Pyrovillia? Luckily the Pyrovillians were much more pleasant in your universe then they would have been in mine.

Derpy: What?

Doctor: Long story. Anyway! Let’s tend to our well done gingercorn here.

Tick Tock: Very funny.

Doctor: Does that hurt?

Tick Tock: (flatly) Ow. (annoyance increases with each ow) Ow ow ow ow! Yes, that hurts!

Doctor: Sorry. It’s hard to tell with you sometimes.

(Tick Tock groans)

Doctor: I’ve got just the thing to fix that hoof up good as new. Wait here. Don’t move!

Tick Tock: (annoyed) No problem.

The Doctor’s steps recede as he walks down the halls of the TARDIS, the door shutting closed behind him.

Derpy: Don’t you worry Tick Tock. We’ll get you all fixed up. How are you feeling? Can I help you get more comfortable?

Tick Tock: Thanks, but I’m fine Derpy. I had far worse injuries back in Neighers.

Derpy: Huh? I thought you didn’t fight in the war.

Tick Tock: Technically no. But it is very possible to get injured off the battlefield as well. I always tried to help in my own way. One time, I tried to create artificial wings to give an aerial advantage to troops who were incapable of flight. This was before my paralysis, so I was more keen to test out my own inventions. I got about 15 feet in the air, before I crashed and broke my muzzle and a front leg. Sprained the other one too.

Depry: Oh my gosh!

Tick Tock: Worst part was that I gathered any creature I could to witness it, and when it failed… They all laughed at me. Even Lightwing told me to “leave the flying to the soldiers with real wings”. I don’t think I came out of my shed for days after that. But… as discouraging as it was, it only strengthened my resolve to get that invention right. Tinkering was all that I was good at, so I decided to keep at it until I made something that would make somepony appreciate all my hard work as much as I did. In fact, those artificial wings were the baseline for the wings I developed for the Doctor on my first adventure with you both.

Derpy: That, kind of reminds me of all the trouble I had at flight camp. Because… Well, I’m not the best flier.

Tick Tock: Don’t be ridiculous. You’re a great flier. Do you know how many times the Doctor would have plunged to his death if you weren’t so quick to catch him?

Derpy laughs

Derpy: I guess that’s true. He does give me lots of practice. But… when I was a filly, nopony ever thought I was any good.The other campers would laugh and make fun of my uneven patterns and how I’d have to take breaks all the time. Not to mention my eyes. I’d get so sad at all the teasing that I’d lay on a cloud all by myself just to hide away.

There was this one time that…. (talks rapidly) I don't really know how this happened! If I stepped on the cloud too hard or maybe it read how I was feeling somehow. That happens sometimes with pegasi- (slows down) A-anyway, it…. May have poured a bunch of rain on top of these fillies who were laughing at me.

Tick Tock lets out a stifled laugh

Derpy: Oh you laugh, but it wasn’t funny at the time. I raced to apologize to them when they ran out from under the cloud. They were soaked. So I offered to help them go and dry off. They may have been mean to me before, but they seemed to appreciate my help. One of the fillies even thanked me. When we got back, the rain had stopped, and under the cloud was this little shining rainbow! It was small, but so pretty. Like the cloud made it just for us to brighten our day. We were all so amazed! We even took turns flying across it like we were told unicorns could do. It was so fun!

Tick Tock: So, did you become friends with those other ponies after that?

Derpy: No. They went back to picking on me a few days later. But, I still felt really good being nice to them, instead of laughing at them like they probably would have. It’s funny. Both ways can only take a minute to do, but how you make that pony feel can stay there for a long time afterwards. I guess it depends on how much you want to make others feel good as much as you want to make yourself feel good. Right?

Tick Tock: That’s…. sweet Derpy. Very sweet. In fact it’s so sweet I think it’s giving me a stomachache.

Tick Tock lets out an overly dramatic groan.

Derpy: Oh shush you!

Derpy starts laughing.

The door to the TARDIS halls whoosh open again and the Doctors' hoofsteps approaches.

Doctor: What are you two doing over there?

Derpy and Tick Tock: Nothing.

Doctor: Hmm. I thought laughing at nothing was my thing.

The Doctor rips open the packet containing the medical pad.

Doctor: There you go. Keep that pad on your hoof for 30 minutes and it should be good as new!

Tick Tick: Thank you Doctor.

Doctor: Ahh don’t mention it. Now come on! Out with it! What were you two talking about while I was gone?

Tick Tock: We were just sharing stories about how we were outcast when we were younger. 

Derpy: I don't know how much the Doctor could relate though. He was probably super popular when he was little. Taking the other kids on all kinds of fun adventures! Playing games about space and time! You can be kind of crazy sometimes, but I bet everypony wanted to be your friend.

A beat of silence. The TARDIS console buttons being pressed can be heard.

Doctor: (solemnly) Well… that’s not entirely true.

Derpy: Huh?

Tick Tock: What do you mean?

The Doctor can be heard fiddling with the console some more until the TARDIS is in flight.

Doctor: (sigh) Growing up on Gallifrey, my home planet, wasn’t exactly easy. There were very strict rules. What you were expected to learn, and more importantly, how you were expected to apply that knowledge. I learned very quickly that I… didn’t exactly fit the mold that I was meant to be shaped into.

Tick Tock: Fascinating. I mean, I knew you were an alien but…

Derpy: Yeah. I guess I just kind of figured that back on your planet they were all….

Doctor: Like me? (The Doctor laughs) Ohhhh no. No, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sure, I could have tried being what they wanted me to be, but you both know me. That’s not my style. When I entered the Academy, my fellow students, my professors, even my family called me out all the time for being wistful and sensitive. How I asked too many questions, and wanted to know more. There were a lot of times where I felt so lonely and scared… I cried myself to sleep. Afraid of what my future would look like.

Derpy: That’s terrible. But… Something must have helped you right? We both figured out how to be stronger in spite of what happened to us. What made you become strong?

Suddenly a memory flashes into the Doctor’s mind. A dream of a woman whispering in his ear that “didn’t anyone ever tell you? fear is a superpower” and how “fear can make you kind”

Doctor: I realized that the things many around me considered weaknesses, were actually my greatest strengths. I was lonely and afraid when no one accepted me, so I could do one of two things. I could grow bitter and resentful, and hurt those people just as much as they hurt me. Or, I could take those things that made me more curious and sympathetic than my fellow Time Lord, and hold it close to my hearts, until I found the best way to let it all out. And as soon as I could, I ventured off to see the rest of the universe. Carrying that with me. Defying what they told me I had to be, and becoming who I wanted to be.

Tick Tock: Hmm. That… almost sounds like what I did. Leaving behind everything I knew, but finding somewhere else that would appreciate my tinkering.

Derpy: Me too. I mean, I may be able to go home whenever I want, but it’s been much more special to reach out to ponies in other times and places who don’t have that kind of thing happen to them as often as somepony in Ponyville might.

Doctor: Hardship is a funny thing. It always molds somepony, changes a part of themselves, possibly forever. But how it changes them can very much be up to them. You can use it as an excuse to be cruel or cowardly, or, you can use it as a chance to become smarter, 

Tick Tock: Hmm

Doctor: Kinder,

Derpy: Aww.

Doctor: And a little more clever. And, if you’re really lucky…

Derpy and Tick Tock: Oof

Doctor: you’ll find other lost souls, and you’ll find your way together. The path brighter than ever.

Derpy: One thing’s for sure. I never had hugs like this when I was little.

Tick Tock: Nor I.

Doctor: And those days are over! (triumphant) The past is behind us, and ahead is adventure! Anywhere and everywhere!

Tick Tock: But maybe with less physical discomfort next time.

Derpy: Agreed.