#i don’t think i’ve ever been so motivated to work on a piece consistently until it was finished gotdamn !!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thetypedwriter · 3 years ago

Text

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review by MsKingBean89

So.

This is a first.

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, then you know I generally read young adult books and write far too lengthy reviews on them with the occasional outlier of adult fiction, mystery, sci-fi, etc.

At any given time, I usually have both a physical book that I’ve bought from somewhere that I’m working on (right now it’s Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley) as well as a fanfiction that I reserve until before I go to bed (my treat for a day well lived).

Fanfiction is something that I’ve mentioned copious amounts of times on this blog in varying degrees, but this is the first time I’ll be writing an actual review for one of them on this platform.

The reason for this is myriad.

One, this fanfiction called All the Young Dudes is a far-cry from your normal standardized fanfiction of 5-50,000 words-something I can easily consume in a few minutes to a few hours.

Nope, this behemoth ends on a staggering 526,969 words and 188 chapters, not including bonus chapters and extra in-universe canonical content the author has also written and published. Roughly speaking, if this was actually published onto paper it would be well over 2,000 pages.

2,000 pages.

Yeah. And I enjoyed every single moment of it.

Two, while I read a lot of fanfiction I generally don’t put any of it on this blog because while I’ve dedicated it to published novels, I also usually have very simple feelings about fanfiction. My thoughts run the gambit of: It was good, it was fluffy, it was a train-wreck, so on and so forth.

Normally my reviews are so long and wordy because I have too many thoughts about the published books that I read and I need an outlet to let them loose.

Whether because of its longevity or because of its content, All the Young Dudes is a story I find myself having a profusion of thoughts for. Hence, the birth of this review.

If fanfiction isn’t your thing, feel free to skip this particular review of mine (although fanfiction is a gift to this world and you should really rethink your stance on it if you don’t like it, just saying).

Third, All the Young Dudes is well written and rivals any actual published content.

Fourth, because of how extensive this fanfiction is, it took me over a month to read it-time I generally would have been reading something else. Instead of leaving you all hanging for a few more weeks until I finish Firekeeper's Daughter (don’t hold your breath-the book is sort of a slog for me personally right now), I decided to just take the jump and write my first-ever typedwriter review for a fanfiction.

Fanfiction has been a part of my life for the better part of almost two decades now. It was truly something I found by accident and in retrospect, it’s insane to me that it’s still something that brings me continuous joy and happiness.

I discovered fanfiction when I was 11-years-old and deeply obsessed with the Harry Potter fandom.

Now, as an overall disclaimer I completely disagree with J.K. Rowling’s stances of gender and biology and differ wholeheartedly with her views of trans and non-binary individuals. With that said, I still love Harry Potter as a story and while I no longer buy anything that profits J.K. Rowling directly, I still love the fandom and the people in it, including fanworks like All the Young Dudes.

When I was 11, the seventh Harry Potter book had yet to come out and like many other people in this time period of agony while waiting for 2007 to roll around so that I could find out what happened, I discovered fanfiction as a way to fill in that ache I was so keenly feeling.

I found myself suddenly immersed in this world of online fiction-both good and bad-but completely entrancing all the same.

I never left.

That is to say, I did eventually move onto other fandoms with their own fanfiction cultures, but Harry Potter was still my first in terms of fanfiction and introducing me to the concept as a whole.

Specifically and maybe oddly, I never found myself curious for actual fanfiction about Harry or Hermione or Ron. In my mind, I already knew what had happened to them and reading about them in fanfiction was redundant.

In addition, the first fanfiction I just happened to come across was a Lily/James marauder era fanfiction on mugglenet.com

This idea immediately intrigued me as fans as a whole knew next to nothing about the infamous Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs and while I knew everything I needed to about Harry Potter it was intoxicating to think that I could learn about a time before the series had existed and about characters who were important, but off screen.

I was hooked and devoured as much as I could for most of middle school about the marauders and Lily and James’ romance in particular (I even wrote and published some of my own that will go unmentioned as they are truly really terrible).

That being said, I haven’t read a Harry Potter fanfiction in years. I grew up and out of the fandom eventually thanks to Twilight and from there I’ve bounced from fandom to fandom as I’ve aged and consumed different things and fallen in love with different characters and different worlds.

That isn’t to say I’ve forgotten though.

I still remember my favorite marauder stories, my favorite Sirius Black/OFC (original female character), and my favorite baby Harry drabbles. They made such a huge impression on me and even though it’s been sixteen years, I still recall those stories with fond nostalgia and jubilation.

Which is why it’s almost ironic that I would return to this particular time period of the marauders with All the Young Dudes.

In a fashion that’s almost scarily full circle, I happened to be on Youtube one day and saw a recommendation video about this girl reviewing a fanfiction called All the Young Dudes. Now, youtube book reviews aren’t uncommon, but a thirty minute video for a fanfiction? Not your typical sighting.

So out of pure curiosity, I searched All the Young Dudes fanfiction on Google and low and behold the overwhelming and top results were all for a marauder-era fanfiction by MsKingBean89. Piqued, I clicked on the link in ao3 and thought why not?

While I’ve mainly been reading in other fandoms recently (BTS, some anime and manga, All for the Game) I had been in a little bit of a slump for finding a really good, really alluring story for some time and really didn’t think I had anything to lose by reading All the Young Dudes, especially as the more research I did, the more I found how popular it was-a plethora of videos on youtube, tiktok compilations, and dozens of fanart posts.

Plus, it had been so long since I had read anything from my progenitor fandom and the thought of going back was strangely comforting.

Hence the journey of reading All the Young Dudes began and oh what a journey it was.

Now, that this review is already five pages in, I should probably tell you what on earth All the Young Dudes is actually about.

The whole story is a marauder-era fanfiction told from Remus Lupin’s POV from the summer of 1971 when Remus is 11-years-old to the summer of 1995 when he is 35-five-years-old. It is an in-depth portrayal of Remus’ time at Hogwarts from year one to year seven and then going all the way up to the start of the second wizarding world, ending around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix begins.

While already the scope makes this a massive undertaking, the author also includes all canonical content from the original series involving Remus, the Marauders, and the time period and incorporates it into her fanfiction-making it canon compliant from start to finish.

While a very large portion of this story is not romantic, there is eventual WolfStar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black) and if you have read the original Harry Potter series...well. You know things don't end up super dandy for these two characters in particular so you know how the story will end before it begins.

This fanfiction left me speechless for so many reasons.

The scope and length is frankly unbelievable. This fanfiction was published on March 2, 2017 and it was completed on November 12, 2018.

….how?

How did she manage that? I frankly have no idea, but I am in complete and utter awe at her ability to write content with such a magnitude and actually complete it. She gets an award just for that honestly.

Not only that, but the fanfiction is actually superbly well-written. I won’t lie and say it’s the most poignant and beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever consumed, but it was consistent in its pacing, characterization, themes, motifs, and structure, which, for 2,000 pages, is an incredible achievement when you think about it.

Speaking of characterization, everyone was So. Well. Done.

Remus was such an interesting POV to read from and while he was compliant in every sense of the word-werewolf, prefect, bookish-MsKingBean89 added so much more to his character and fleshed him out so incredibly that it’s truly tragic that he’s not a real person.

And to that extent, she does this with all of the characters. You see James’ optimism and leadership, Sirius’ arrogance and loyalty, Peter’s jealousy and chess skills.

Every character was so well-rounded and real. She did an incredible job of taking the bits and pieces from the canon series and using that to build up her own flesh and blood people with motivations, likes, dislikes, dreams, and desires.

That being said, she also had 2,000 pages to do it sooooooo it would be bad if the characters weren’t fleshed out by the end honestly.

In addition, I really appreciated that she didn’t just focus on Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. Lily Evans played a critical role in Remus’ school life and after and so did the other Gryffindor girls like Marlene and Mary.

Too often, the focus is on the boys and their close friendship and while that was a huge focus, we also get to see Remus develop friendships with the girls in his own right and other friends as well that were often OC’s of the author’s.

Now. OC’s are generally something I dislike. I’m reading fanfiction to read about particular characters that I’ve sought after, not to read about some imaginary cast. However, just like any of the canon characters, all of the OC characters were well-developed and played crucial roles in Remus’ development-while either at Hogwarts or after-and I found myself not minding them in the least. In a few cases (Grant) I actually really loved them.

The biggest draw for this fanfiction for me was Remus’ time at Hogwarts. It was so well-written and incredibly descriptive and I found myself thrust back into the world of magic so suddenly and seamlessly that it was like I never left.

MsKingBean89 includes so many intricate details and builds up the world so beautifully that I’d recommend any Harry Potter fan to consume it, just to get some good Hogwarts material out of it.

Another thing I greatly appreciate about this fanfiction was the slow burn. I’ve read slow burn before (All for the Game trilogy anybody?), but this truly took the cake. Sirius and Remus don’t properly get together until the end of year six going into year seven. That’s over 100 chapters in.

100 chapters out of 188.

Meaning that over half of this beast doesn’t have the main pairing even together. For some people, this could be a drawback. You might think to yourself: It takes how long for them to confess their feelings and stop being prats?

A very, very long time.

However...it didn’t bug me. I like slow burn to begin with, but being along for the ride as Remus goes from being a child to an adolescent with unrequited feelings to being in a relationship with someone he loves is so rewarding and fulfilling that the 100 previous chapters are completely and utterly worth it.

MsKingBean89 develops them so well and so carefully that the payoff is so sweet and satisfactory that it's enough to bring the tears right then and there.

The last huge feat of this fanfiction for me was the author’s dedication to canon not just confined to Hogwarts and the Harry Potter books, but also to the time period. Either she lived through the 70’s and 80’s herself or she had done her due diligence when it comes to research because anything from London anti-gay laws to British slang was commonplace in her fic.

I found it completely amazing how she was able to tie in real-time historical and cultural moments like famous singers and movies playing at the time alongside convoluted muggle politics warring with the wizarding ones.

I was so blown away by the accuracy and genuine love behind this fic that it often brought me out of my own mind to simply ponder once again how much work this was and how well she was delivering it.

Even unpleasant things, like homophobia and bigotry, are dealt with in a very carefully constructed way that is aligned with the time period in which the story takes place.

Unfortunately, everything beautiful is not without flaws and All the Young Dudes is not the exception, although it’s flaws are nary compared to its achievements.

The few complaints I have with this fic are honestly quite negligible.

First, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Very few, but I did notice some.

Next, and again, this complaint is really just me whining, but...the end of the fic was really fucking sad. The end of this whole story took me so much time to complete simply because I didn’t want to read it.

I know what happened during the first wizarding war and I also know what ended it (James and Lily Potter dying, Harry being shipped off to the Dursley’s, Sirius imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, Peter presumed dead) and in one fell swoop Remus lost everything and everyone he ever loved.

After spending over 1,500 pages of Remus growing to love these people it is absolutely devastating and heart-breaking to see him lose it all.

The last handful of chapters are just really, really sad and it makes me wonder why MsKingBean89 decided to write it in the first place. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't write about Remus’ time at Hogwarts and stop after graduation because we all know what happens after that and none of it is good.

Looking back, I wish I could time travel and tell myself to stop at chapter 150. I truly didn’t need to read about the tragedies that happened after that and the hell that all of the characters go through.

And while it does end on a….sort of kind of maybe positive (?) note with Sirius and Remus reuniting briefly once the events of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban take place, it was really tainted and bittersweet for me knowing that in a year Sirius would die and Remus would marry his fucking cousin and have a child.

Urgh.

I just can’t.

That being said, I understand it’s not the author’s fault and I’m not saying it is. She wrote a canon compliant fic to the end and it was my choice to continue reading. That being said, she said she ended it before the events of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius and Remus are happy and back together and she didn’t want to write what was coming next if she continued.

I truly, truly get that.

But in the same vein, why even write the events of the first wizarding world to begin with then? I’m confused with that response as it doesn’t make much sense to me. I felt like ending it right then and there was not a happy ending. They’re together, yes, but at this point they are both shells of who they used to be. Both have severe trauma and PTSD and frankly I don’t even know if I agree with them being together just because they’ve put each other through so much.

It’s just an interesting choice at the end of the day in terms of the author.

Once again, however, I truly understand that she can do whatever she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially as she’s writing this for free and just because. So please keep in mind that although I’m complaining, I truly understand how fortunate we are to even have this fic in the first place.

Okay.

Secondly, my only other huge complaint is that MsKingBean89 made Remus gay. Not bi, not pan. Gay.

You could argue that Remus just calls himself gay in the fanficiton as he didn’t know about other kinds of sexuality. You could argue that Remus’ sexuality changes and develops as he ages and experiences trials and tribulations. You could argue that it was a sign of times like so much else in this fic.

I frankly just found it to be a frustrating choice as the fic is canon compliant and even though it ends before the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we know that Remus eventually marries Tonks and has a baby son named Teddy Lupin.

How does that make sense?

I tried very, very hard to come up with some sort of feasible explanation for how a gay man would have ended up with the love of his life’s female cousin and truly could not think of one that was not fucked up to some degree.

Again. I know I’m being nit-picky, but it irked me that she made this choice regarding Remus’ sexuality and essentially ended her fic with Remus stuck in a corner regarding how the series actually ends.

At the end of the day, all of the negatives are truly, truly not important. I’m just whinging to whine and to express my thoughts, but I do once again understand that MsKingBean89 isn’t profiting from this fic and that she can do what she wants as is her prerogative.

I hope I was able to express that while I understand that, I can still be frustrated with some of the choices she made.

To wrap this all up, All the Young Dudes is a masterpiece and is a must-read for anyone who loves Harry Potter, the Marauders, or Wolfstar. I was blown away by the sheer magnitude, the love and care she put into her craft, the slow and deliberate development of all the characters, the beautifully constructed love between Sirius and Remus, and the intricate world-both muggle and magic-that surrounded the story like a cocoon.

I am so happy I found this fic and I truthfully am floundering at what to do with myself next. If you have any more current Marauder era fics that I’ve missed out in the past eleven years, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

Recommendation: Go read All the Young Dudes. For weeks, you will cry, you will laugh, you will despair, and you will smile. This fanfiction will make you wish this was canon and in my mind, it now is.

Score: 8/10

Links:

1. All the Young Dudes on ao3

2. The Youtube Video about All the Young Dudes that made me aware of its existence

#all the young dudes #wolfstar #Harry Potter #fanfiction #harry potter fanfic rec #marauders #book review #Book Recommendations #fanfiction recs #fanfiction review #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fanart

33 notes · View notes

iamtrebleclefstories · 3 years ago

Text

all through the night - chapter three

An unexpected visitor

-or-

A fic where Jo has a miscarriage pre-16x16 and Alex comes back to pick up the pieces

Was this supposed to be only two chapter? Yes... we’re not going to talk about that though...

TW: Miscarriage

The next few days consisted of more of the same. Jo and Alex walked on eggshells around each other, neither of them wanting to break the silence looming heavily in the loft, which was only interrupted by the occasional sound from the television or the clanging of a dish in the kitchen. Maybe that's why it was so shocking when they heard a knock at the door.

"Hey evil spawn, hairball, open up!'"

Alex walked up to the door and pulled it open. He scrunched his face in confusion, "Yang? What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?"

"I get mail you moron. I’ve seen the return address,” Cristina invited herself into the loft. She scanned the place the Karevs called home and her eyes landed on Jo’s blank face. “Altman and Pierce called me a couple days ago to help them out with an experimental surgery that's only ever been done a handful of times around the world, my hospital and my hands being one of them. I'm performing and teaching the residents all about the procedure. Surgery is tomorrow. I was at Mer's house visiting with the kids and I heard that you might be here," Sensing the tension in the room, Cristina turned her attention to Alex. "How about you and I go outside and talk for a bit?"

Alex looked at Cristina and quickly realized that she wouldn't give him the option of saying no. He glanced back at Jo before looking back at Cristina, "Okay, I'll go."

The moment they walked outside, Cristina slapped Alex upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Alex rubbed his head.

"That's for being a dumbass," they walked for a few more minutes before Cristina spoke up again. "Are you an idiot? Are you mentally challenged?"

"Mer told you, didn't she?" Alex grumbled.

"She didn't have to," Cristina shook her head in disbelief. "You fell off the face of the earth for weeks. I know we don't talk that much, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. She had a miscarriage and instead of you comforting her like you're supposed to, you looked terrified that something will set her off. Do you know how crappy it feels to miscarry? I wasn't planning on even continuing my pregnancy and I was still a wreck when Addison had to go in and remove my fallopian tube. And on top of that, you cheated on her?"

"I didn't know she was pregnant when I slept with Izzie," Alex tried defending himself. "Jo didn't even know until she miscarried."

"And that’s supposed to make it okay?” Cristina punched him in the side. “You slept with Izzie? Of all people? Come on Alex, I knew you were stupid but I didn’t think you were stupid enough to sleep with the one person who consistently used you and never really cared about your well-being unless if it was of some sort of benefit to her. Where’s your self-respect?”

Alex grunted, “I don’t know.”

“That’s why you feel like shit now,” Cristina stated. “You should feel like shit. You should be crying bitch baby tears. What possessed you to make such a colossal mistake. And don’t go say something about how you still love Izzie because we both know that’s not true. You fell out of love with Izzie a long time ago. You fell out of love with her before you ever fell in love with Jo. And Jo… I wish someone loved me the way you love her. Which is what makes this situation so much worse.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Alex released a breath. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

“I don’t think it’s about fixing anything,” Cristina stopped to get a good look at him. “It’s about owning up to your mistake and figuring out if you’re able to move forward. You can’t take it back and you can’t make it better. You’ve got to regain her trust.”

“Easier said than done,” Alex muttered under his breath.

“Go to the hospital and cut into some kids or something,” Cristina waved her hand. “Get out of here. Let me talk to your wife.”

“I don’t know Yang,” Alex frowned uncertainly. “You’re not exactly the warmest person.”

“Shut up,” Cristina scowled at him. “I can be sensitive. Now seriously, go. Give me some time before I change my mind.”

+++

“Wilson! Get up from the bed. It’s time to take a shower and put on a different shirt,” Cristina bellowed as she walked back into the loft. She walked around towards the bed and pulled the covers off of Jo. “Come on. It’s already past noon. You’ve got to at least pretend like you care about personal hygiene.”

“Leave me alone,” Jo groaned and pulled the pillow over her head, muffling her speech. “And it’s Karev, not Wilson.”

“Is it?” Cristina raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t sure if it still would be you know after everything.”

Jo pulled the pillow off of her face and looked at Cristina waringly, “It’s still Karev. I want to be a Karev.”

“So you’re not planning on leaving evil spawn any time soon?” Cristina sat on the edge of the bed, waiting expectantly for Jo to respond.

Jo appeared lost in thought, “I don’t know. I don’t want to. But I can’t live like this either.”

“Live like what exactly?”

“Live in fear that one day, Alex is going to grow tired of his life with me and leave me for a simpler one that includes an ex-wife and a couple of kids in Kansas,” Jo depanned.

“Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now?” Cristina snorted. “Alex would rather cut off his hands than leave you and Seattle. Do you know how many opportunities he’s had to up and leave this place and he’s stayed? If you’re here, it doesn’t give him much motivation to leave.”

“I don’t think I’m his priority anymore,” Jo chewed on her lip. “He has kids now.”

“How sure are we that those are his kids anyway?” Cristina tilted her head in thought. “Don’t get me wrong. I love Izzie, she was my friend at one point. But she doesn’t exactly have the best moral compass. Sure, she loved Alex, but she loved more what he could do for her. I wouldn’t put it past her to try to pass those kids off as his in an effort to get him back.”

“That’s crazy,” Jo sat up. “No sane person would do something like that.”

“Exactly.”

Whether it was the absurdity of the whole situation or the fact that Cristina was so serious, Jo burst out in laughter, “Oh God.”

Jo’s laughter rang through the loft, “My husband cheated on me with his ex-wife and they have kids together all while I was here having a miscarriage. I had a miscarriage… I had a miscarriage and I was alone. Alex wasn’t there. He cheated on me. Alex cheated on me. Isn’t that the most outrageous thing you’ve ever heard?”

Slowly, Jo’s laughs morphed into heavy sobs. They wracked her body for quite some time as she finally allowed herself to break for the first time since coming home. She hadn’t wanted to do it in front of Alex. Despite partially being the reason for her pain, Jo didn’t want to make him feel any worse than he already felt. Because if there was one thing Jo knew, it was that as much as she would struggle to forgive him, Alex would probably never forgive himself.

Once her cries died down, Cristina rubbed a hand on Jo’s shoulder gently, “Come on. It’s time to shower. You smell bad.”

Jo let out a watery laugh, “Okay I’m getting up.” She stood up from the bed and turned to look at Cristina. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Cristina nodded. “I’ll be here when you get out.”

True to her word, Cristina was waiting for Jo when she stepped out of the shower, “I don’t cook. Or clean. You know this. We’ve lived together before. But I toasted some bagels if you want one.”

Jo made her way over to the table and grabbed a bagel, spreading a generous amount of cream cheese on it, “Why are you still here?”

“Because I told you I would be,” Cristina shoved a handful of cereal into her mouth.

“Come on Yang, we’re not friends. You don’t owe me anything. Why are you here?” Jo asked, waiting patiently for a response from the woman standing across from her.

Cristina sighed and put down the box of cereal, “Because I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there before.”

“What?” Jo’s face scrunched in confusion.

“It was my intern year. I was sleeping with my attending and I got pregnant,” Cristina started. “I don’t want kids. I never wanted them. But for some reason I struggled a lot with the decision I was going to have to make in the coming weeks. I had finally decided to tell my attending and attempt some semblance of a relationship with him. I hoped it might give me some clarity.” She paused for a moment and looked at Jo. “When I approached him, he broke up with me. Never even got a chance to tell him that I was pregnant. So, I made an appointment. I told Meredith that I was planning to get an abortion and she promised to be there to take me home.”

“I never made it there, though,” Cristina shook her head. “I was observing a surgery that he was performing when I passed out on the OR floor. They paged Addison Montgomery and I was rushed into surgery. Turns out the pregnancy had been ectopic and my Fallopian tube burst. They ended up removing it and I lost the baby… I don’t want kids. I didn’t want to be pregnant or raise a kid. It didn’t fit into my plans. I had planned to terminate. I was sure that it was right for me. But it didn’t make the loss any easier. It didn’t make the fact that I miscarried any less painful. I grieved. I was a wreck. They had to sedate me.” Cristina huffed a laugh. “That’s why I’m here. Because I get it.”

In all honesty, Jo had no idea what to say after Cristina’s story. She never would have imagined sitting across the room with Cristina Yang talking about miscarriages. They weren’t close, not at all. They never spoke for more than a few minutes about things that weren’t work related. Seeing Yang open up to her in this way was foreign.

“I’m sorry,” Jo finally said. “I don’t wish it on anyone.”

“Neither do I,” Cristina grew quiet. She reached over the table and put a comforting hand on Jo’s shoulder. “You're going to get through this. I know you will because you’re stronger than I ever will be. We’ve been through some hard things, but we survived. You’ll survive this and you’ll be happy again someday. And maybe you’ll be a mom again, if that’s what you choose. Whether it’s through birth or being a stepmom to Alex’s kids or both. You have choices. They’re yours to make. No one else’s.”

“Thank you,” Jo swallowed back some tears. “For that reminder. It’s my choice. I’ve been trying so hard to figure out what someone else would do in my shoes that I forgot that I don’t need to depend on the approval of others. It comes down to what I’m willing to lose.”

Jo looked up at Cristina, “I want to get out of this house. Even if it’s just for a few hours.”

“Okay, where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know… anywhere that isn’t here,” Jo shrugged.

“Have you ever been to the space needle? I haven’t and I lived here for seven years. I almost did once, never made it though,” Cristina mentioned.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been to the space needle,” Jo replied.

“Great, I’ll drive.”

23 notes · View notes

my-writings-and-musings · 4 years ago

Note

Same anon thank you for answering my question! I was wondering if you could do headcanons for MTMTE Rung, Megatron, Rodimus, Minimus, and Swerve with an Artisic human reader that just sees the good and creative artist side of everything? From books to pictures to even their own bot? Like they can just look at their bot and go out on a whole rant on how beautiful their optics are from the color to their expression. if that’s too many characters you can take any one, I don’t mind! Thank you and have a good day ❤️

You're welcome! I'm always open for clarification, so feel free to ask questions about whatever you'd like if you're unsure on anything. I took a little liberty with this one, but I've got all the requested bots because darn it all these beautiful mechs deserve recognition!

Rung

·He discovers your artistic inclination thanks to years of experience reading personalities and emotions at a glance, but he wasn't prepared for the depth of your conviction in seeing the world through a creative lens, which he learned upon speaking to you about your process as an artist. This surprise grows as he sees you sketching around the ship, your exuberance for the inherent beauty in everything coming through in every conversation you share.

·When he praises some of your sketches on a quiet day in his office and is compelled to ask how you developed your style, he's fascinated by your explanation, and his spark is warmed by how beautifully you describe the world around you and credit it for inspiring you. He's visibly shocked when your list of current subjects and muses includes him specifically, and you can't help but chuckle at the usually calm bot looking so absolutely flustered. There's no way for him to hide any of that feeling when he requests a bit of clarification; there's hundreds of bots on board, what about him could possibly stand out?

·You're happy to elaborate on your process to a bot who so regularly underestimates his worth and lay out why he in particular piques your interest. The warmth and goodness of his being is such a rare and beautiful thing, you explain, but also so rarely appreciated that it drives you to try and capture that essence in a manner one can see. How could you not? Such compassion and empathy and forgiveness should be remembered! You've also seen that he's capable of accepting any genuine apology, and to have that level of mercy after so much war is beautiful, enough that you have to try and show it.

·To say he's touched is an understatement of unfathomable proportions. Removing his lenses to clear optics blurred with tears, he doesn't even know how to begin processing your praise of his character when you add that his physical self hardly fails to encourage you either. His glasses nearly slip from his hands when he hears you say that. You continue quite easily; the kindness in his optics and the sweetness of his smile, combined with his genuinely handsome profile, simply inspire you to start sketching.

·He's touched, but you have to understand, he is NOT accustomed to this level of praise. Between the near tears and the blushing he has to politely excuse himself to recover from this absolute tsunami of emotions, but being flustered and melted at once is enough to have him smiling through a little blush all day long. While he tries to take a little bit of your mindset into his everyday life going forward, he gets a bit dazed every time he sees a sketch of yours that includes his face, as that level of artistic devotion being dedicated to him is more than he'll ever be able to process. Not that he minds...

Megatron

·Being more familiar with the written word, he enjoys the arts but has little experience with those who create them, and time has not been on his side in regards to learning more. Thus, you're one of the first artistically inclined individuals he's been able to discuss the topic with, which he was motivated to do after catching a glimpse of your work. He could swear some of your sketches bear a resemblance to him, but he says nothing on the matter and is certain his optics are tricking him.

·Your talk of technique quickly surprises him by shifting to inspiration, which to you is the primary driving force of your work, as it influences how you go about conveying the subject matter. Eager to share what you mean, you explain that anything can have beauty worthy of capturing if you just take the time to look at it right. Even the most mundane or seemingly unappealing things can be remarkable if you know their story, and you want to convey that energy as wordlessly as possible.

·A little overwhelmed but quite impressed by your manner of reasoning, he rather jokingly asks if even beings like himself could ever inspire you, or perhaps another artist with your mindset. He's caught off gaurd like never before when you, quite enthusiastically, reply that he most certainly can and does! To keep his composure he recalls portraits of his likeness being commissioned to inspire his soldiers, but never believing these fell under the category of art so much as they did propaganda. They often depicted him quite... violently as well.

·Having never seen these pieces, you reply that your own experience is tied more to how you see him now, and you flip through your sketchbook to demonstrate. As close to your level as can be, he's speechless while you explain what you wanted to capture about him in each sketch, whether it's a quick study or a detailed project; and that's how safe he makes you feel. Hearing himself referred to as a protector cuts straight through his powerful armor.

·You depict him looking almost... gentle? Hearing you describe the his immense size as a source of comfort and his strength as a tool of keeping peace processes about as clearly to him as a foreign language, but he nods along and keeps the conversation going until his duties call him away. Though he says nothing of it, he volunteers himself for more of the physically demanding work around the ship. His body's purpose had always been decided for him, but you've reminded him he has the only true say in its use, and that everything really is a matter of perspective. Perhaps he'll take up sketching once this is all over.

Rodimus

·He's certainly always had an appreciation for visual appeal, even if his idea of beauty doesn't often overlap with what most would consider artistically valuable. This and his natural alertness makes him quick to notice you often sketch about the ship, frequently when he's present, but at first he leaves you alone to work in peace. Having a hobby on this crew is beyond valuable, and he doesn't want to distract you from a passion... That is, until he decides on one especially slow day to just ask you what you like to doodle about.

·You can tell he wants to be a little nosy, if only because he's naturally a curious bot about these things, but you're more than happy to share regardless. There's a lot due to the ample downtime on the quest, and he has to squint so he can properly scan the many sketches on the human sized paper. He happily recognizes friends, locales about the ship, even earth things he knows about... but he's not ready when he finds a picture of himself.

·While he remains outwardly playful, teasing you with how he'd pose if you only asked, he's internally flattered that you took the time to draw him. More specifically, he's touched by the way you drew him. The sketches and portraits portray him as a calm but amicable leader, standing tall and serving as a guide to those around him, a true "father to his men" kind of bot... it's everything he wants to be, but is quite certain he's not. He's barely able to keep up his smooth persona when he asks about your process.

·You explain that you find inspiration in everything, but he's been your chosen subject lately for a lot of reasons. It's no secret he's handsome, but you see something more when you look at him, and you did everything you could to show it here; there's a real leader in him. Maybe some bots don't see it under all the bluster and sarcasm, but you see how much he cares for every bot on his crew. He wants to be the best for all of them, and even if he struggles at times, that effort is beautiful to you.

·It takes everything in him to bite back some very embarrassing tears, and the crack in his voice doesn't help him hide the emotion, though he covers that up with unconvincing coughs and claims something got in his optic. From then on he seems to stand a little taller and find his assigned duties a little easier to bear, but you absolutely notice how he poses in what he believes to be heroic fashion whenever your sketchbook comes out. Inspired by his enthusiasm, you invite him to model more officially, and the crew is just happy to see him so enthusiastic.

Minimus

·Being as observant as he is, your consistent appraisal of your surroundings is not something he'd ever miss, but your frequent sketching in the most random places does leave him absolutely mystified. Every time he sees you there's artistic supplies on your person, but he can't find anything that appears to be worthy of putting to paper, so what could you be drawing? He respects your privacy too much, and feels too silly about his curiosity, to interpret and ask you for an explanation.

·Thus it's with some small eagerness that he finds one of your sketchbooks after it's been misplaced, and he sees the perfect opportunity to slip in a question. For the sake of handling something so tiny, he approaches without his armor, offering the lost item back with barely concealed pride at your delight to have it returned. In the moment of truth he nearly falters, but does indeed manage to ask what you draw around the ship. He leaves out the fact that he's observed you whenever you draw in his presence.

·The question has an answer only he seems to think isn't obvious; him! You spend time together frequently, and while everything is fair game for sketching, he's a very regular subject for you. Whether he's wearing the Magnus armor or not, you explain that the commanding aura he radiates is something you can't help but find beautiful. That word choice baffles him enough that he has to interrupt; beautiful? Commanding? Even without his armor?? You're delighted to assure him that you absolutely mean that.

·Hearing you describe the details of your reasoning, like the quiet dignity of his stance or the calm intelligence of his red optics, touches his spark in ways he wasn't expecting. He's calm and speaks softly as he keeps the conversation going, asking questions about your various works and listening attentively when you answer, processing your view of the universe as being packed with beauty in all the places people don't think to look.

·Any bot that sees him during the remainder of the day absolutely notices the change to his entire demeanor; namely that he's smiling a soft and barely perceptible smile. It's not long after he requests a few sketches from you to keep in his office, whether they're of him or not, and he has them framed in places of honor. He doesn't tell you, but you figure it out, that one particular drawing of him you gift for his sake is kept securely stored in a compartment by his spark.

Swerve

·Many bots may see him being a tad bit on the shallow side when it comes to the arts, but our beloved barkeep has his own unique appreciation for creativity and all the ways it can be visually expressed, and you recognize it not long after meeting him. As his bar is a frequent hangout for everyone, you find it to be a fantastic place to sit and sketch, as the variety of bots makes it quite easy to have your choice of subjects even if you have to sit on a table. Obviously Swerve notices and asks you what you're drawing when traffic slows one evening.

·You're happy to show him your work and he's always eager to hear what everyone is up to, so he starts asking questions about your art in general. How long have you been an artist? What's it like suddenly having a whole ship of aliens to sketch? Why draw here all the time? At that query you light up brilliantly, and he's delighted by your enthusiasm as you describe all the incredible sights the bar has to offer.

·You list some of your favorite things to draw, like the many friend groups on the ship that gather here, the brilliant colors of the glowing vats of enjex, and him smiling and rushing with orders through it all. That last one gets a flash of surprise from behind his visor, which is quickly overtaken by exuberant delight; you've been drawing him?! He babbles out a surge of confusing statements that you're eventually able to interpret as a request to see, just one he's too bashful to say directly.

·Happily obliging, you're touched by how he smiles at every little sketch, and feel compelled to explain that he's a big part of why you love drawing here. You try to see beauty in everything, even what often gets overlooked, and there's so very much of that here. The bar is one of those places that everyone knows is special, but you know he's the reason they love it like they do, and that his enthusiasm and hard work hold it all together. You find that inspiring, and actually quite beautiful. It doesn't hurt that his brilliant smile is always a treat to sketch.

·Trying to play it cool and totally failing, he doesn't quite hide that he's near to tears when he asks if you'd like to hang some of your work up in the bar, or maybe have a little corner for yourself to draw from. He just doesn't want you getting squished while you sketch, is all! And having a better vantage point is ideal for someone so small! When you accept, he gives you your own human sized accommodations not too far from the heart of the bar, and every so often when you sketch he'll glance up at you absolutely beaming.

#transformers #more than meets the eye #mtmte #idw #lost light #maccadam #tf #rung #megatron #minimus ambus #rodimus #swerve #self insert #human reader #requests #anon #my writing #transformers headcanon #my asks

143 notes · View notes

oatmilkovich · 4 years ago

Note

not sure if you've shared your acting thoughts on j.a.w. but would love to hear if you have any stand-out moments. it keeps hitting me what a powerhouse he is and his arc (and especially the incredible power of his scenes with emmy) pretty much singlehandedly kept me watching through seasons 6-8 when a lot of other storylines dragged on! i'm still happy with the show in a post-fiona world but i really miss the lip and fiona dynamic as it really felt like the backbone of the show and the gallagher family!

hey! <3

you sent this weeks ago and i am profusely sorry about that. i haven’t talked about jeremy yet but since it was lip love hours on the dash today, i decided to have a crack at it. lip’s storyline has definitely been the most consistent and solid throughout the entire show – there’s never really a time i don’t enjoy watching his scenes (though i do find it difficult to watch the helene sl in s6). he and emmy consistently worked phenomenally off one another and though i really miss emmy now, i do think we need to hand it to jaw and his contribution to carrying the show for it’s run.

there’s a lot I could talk about with jeremy’s work so i’ve had to pick a couple of my favourite things for today, otherwise i’d be writing for hours. discussion under the cut!

remember: this is all my opinion! i’m just an unemployed actor in a pandemic.

one of my ultimate favourite things about jeremy’s performance is the way he approaches lip’s monologues. in my personal opinion as an actor, monologues fucking suck. they’re unnatural, difficult to pull off and so easily end up being a vehicle for the self indulgent actor to just hear their own voice. luckily for us, jaw manages to knock them out of the park every single time. the key to a successful monologue is a hell of a lot of prep work before hand – you’ve always got to remember that no one monologues and talks at a great interrupted length naturally, that’s just not how humans exist and interact in the world, so an actor always has to consider why their character continues talking and doesn’t stop after the first line. their objective for the scene – what they want to gain – has to be so solid, so vital to the actor/character that we believe they can’t stop talking until they achieve it. an objective is the only thing that drives dialogue forward – we only speak out loud because we want to achieve something. now, there’s an incredibly fine line between pushing to achieve your objective during a monologue and allowing the objective to push you. this is never a problem with jeremy’s work.

a good objective goes hand in hand with how the lines of the monologue are delivered. every line a character speaks is new to them – the actor rehearses a line but the character doesn’t – each thought behind a line, even if it’s something they’ve thought about before, is new to them. when you’re working in a scene with another actor and trading dialogue, it’s easier for that new line of dialogue to feel more natural as a response to your partner – when you’re on your own in a monologue this can be a huge challenge. monologues are badly done when everything sounds rehearsed – you can tell when the actor isn’t working from moment to moment and is simply saying the lines they’ve learnt in a huge chunk. you don’t believe they’re speaking to achieve their objective, they’re simply speaking the lines on the page and probably are thinking about how good they sound. again, this is never a problem with jeremy’s work.

now let’s look at this monologue from 5x08:

this is a really well done and subtle monologue on jeremy’s part – it’s one of my favourites and it does a really good job at highlighting how detailed and personalised his work is. before he even begins to speak, you can tell jeremy is prepared for the circumstances of scene. lip is completely riddled with tension – you can see it in the way he clenches his jaw and wipes his hands on his trousers – as an audience member, we already know there’s a hell of a lot on his plate. this monologue is a moment where he allows it all to bubble over.

lip’s obviously trying to get some leeway on his college finances by explaining his situation to his adviser – perhaps that was jeremy’s objective (to achieve help with his finances) but as he continues talking, it morphs into really heartbreaking glimpse into lip’s pov of being the ‘golden goose’ of the family. it’s the first time we really hear his thoughts on ian’s diagnosis, monica’s illness and how guilty he feels every single day being away from his family. lip asking for a favour becomes less about financial help and even more so about being heard. he needs someone to understand and hear him out. to understand the heavy pressure he feels to achieve what everyone else expects of him.

a monologue has a mini storyline arc within it and jeremy takes us on journey as we watch lip continue talking, continue exposing himself, putting himself in a horribly vulnerable position. he starts by easing himself in – cracking a joke about how they should get to know one another because he’ll be there a lot – but as soon as he starts going into detail about ian and why he needs an extension on payments, there’s a significant shift in jeremy’s delivery and lip’s relationship to how badly he needs this. jeremy allows himself to fully experience each thought before he delivers a line – he doesn't rush and allows moments to breathe. every single line he says, every single sibling or situation he mentions, we get a glimpse of his pov on the subject. these moments of pause allow lip’s journey throughout the speech to be so clear to us as audience members, there’s never a moment where a piece of dialogue feels delivered falsely or preplanned. jeremy doesn’t push to achieve anything and we follow lip throughout the speech on his journey without a clue where he’s going to end up.

by the end of the monologue, lip’s desperation to be understood is clearer than ever. he’s panicking but jeremy never overplays it. even as it builds and he begins to visibly get more emotional with tears in his eyes, it never becomes a performance. jeremy always manages to get the balance right and it’s just a really, really beautiful reaction to his circumstances and truthful acting coming from the moment. it’s a huge deal to bare his heart like this to someone – a stranger at that – and jeremy manages to capture that vulnerable dent in lip’s pride perfectly. he’s not yelling, he’s not pulling his hair out, but we still completely understand why this is so important to him. although I'll never know how he actually prepares his work, his text work here is deeply personalised – you can tell jeremy has given lip’s pov a good thought. I believe him the entire way through, his objective is clear and whatever it was that jeremy decided to use worked perfectly for both his motivation and our belief.

as someone who has shed a tear over performing many a monologue, he makes it seem so fucking effortless – i think that’s what really gets me. i’d love to see him do work on stage one day. as i said, there are about a million things I could talk about when it comes to jaw’s work on the show. this baaaaaarely even scratches the surface! I wanted to talk about another monologue here too, but i think this got long enough only talking about one!

please always feel free to ask me about any specific moments if you have any pressing questions, i can’t promise i’ll get to it very quickly (i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry!) but i will always try.my inbox is always open for anything, acting or otherwise. it takes me a while, but I really, really do love talking about this stuff.

thanks for reading! <3

#willa’s acting thoughts #sorry this ended up being about one scene and not more #but i just really really love this scene and i love his work #and i could talk about it for hours!!! hours!!#okay this made me nervous so i’m gonna go brush my teeth 🏃‍♀️#enjoy #jeremy allen white #shameless #lip gallagher #also surprisingly no one has asked me about emmy yet #but i was thinking of maybe looking at her conditioning force work w s4 and s9 ish #but ajdhshabdhajqksb #asks #actingasks

53 notes · View notes

not-poignant · 3 years ago

Note

Hi Pia!! I love your work and have consistently been reading it for over a couple of years, currently every TIP update u post makes my days a bit brighter 🥰

It is also thanks to you that I started posting fics last year after more than three years not doing so. While some of my fics have been wildly popular in a fandom some others don't seem to have landed as well within the same one, so I wanted to ask, what do you do about those stories that excite you but that don't seem to have found an audience yet, or that they never will?? How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

Have a lovely day 💚🍀

Hi anon,

This is a hugely complicated question.

For a start, for writing that is for income, if I think it won't do well, I don't write it (although only to a point, I wrote The Gentle Wolf because asexual representation mattered more to me than sales, but it still hit hard when that turned out to be true). I don't like to mess with things that pay the bills. I hate that I have to look at metrics in that sense, but I do. But thankfully we're not talking about original fiction:

For fanfiction, things are different, and there might be a lot of different things going on.

For a start, almost always, when people ask me this question they are still getting some interaction on their fics, just not as much as they wanted or imagined. It can really help to like, remember to be grateful for every person who interacts, and not just the 'quantity' of interactions.

I think like... I am a big fan of 'write for yourself' but it's also true that I write for interaction on AO3. Just... only you can decide how much of the former will compensate for not much of the latter. There are people out there who are like 'if I was only writing for myself I'd keep it in my computer.' I'm not like that, and I don't vibe that way. I write for myself but enjoy sharing it, in case something that worked well for me, works well for a stranger. Everyone is different and that's eventually going to be what the crux of this post is, lol.

Popularity is influenced by the fact that some fandoms are more dead than others and lack interaction across the board in general (Persona 5, for example, is notorious for this). Some fandoms like certain tropes more than others. Some fandoms are massively popular for three weeks and then die almost immediately. And so on and so on.

Ultimately fandom is fickle, it's loyal to the stories they like more than the authors they like, and you can't predict what will be a flash in the pan and what won't be, and it doesn't always have anything to do with the quality of the fic itself or the tags you used. (This is sort of like how sketches will sometimes get tens of thousands of notes and a 300 hour single piece of quality art will get 400 notes, while a professional artist tears their hair out in pieces).

Sometimes, a fic will be more interesting to me than the reality of fandom interaction and I'll write it. Touching and Melting for Houseki no Kuni is a good example of that. A tiny fic for honestly an extremely quiet and tiny western fandom in terms of fic, which looks like it had a lot of interaction 3 years on, but had almost nothing in the first few months. And sometimes the fic idea won't be more interesting to me than the reality of the fandom interaction, and I won't write it. I go story idea by story idea.

But I've also taught myself to really think about a) the way I talk about interaction and b) to really value every individual that leaves a kudos, or comments, or public bookmarks. When I sort of started out with Shadows and Light, I remember being so bummed when a story didn't do as well, and thinking that meant it was doing 'badly.' Let's be real, Game Theory when it started out had less than a tenth of the interaction of SALverse, and I thought I had failed. If I'd given up at that point, well... all of this wouldn't exist.

And then just looking at fanfiction, it's like.. well, sometimes fics do a lot worse than other fics, there's usually at least one person who will read it and leave a kudos. I remind myself that to that person, the story mattered or meant something, which meant I didn't just write it for myself anymore, there is interaction.

This is much harder on stories that have zero comments, and zero kudos, obviously, no one likes to feel as though they are shouting into the void. But it's also my experience that writers who've had popular fics, don't often have 'zero kudos fics' when they say a fic is doing really badly. They just..maybe need to value the individual interactions alongside how good a 'mass' of interaction can feel, or alongside how good 'quantity' can feel. I do really think that's a skill that a lot of like...enthusiastic fanfiction writers have mastered or at least are learning.

Sometimes it really helps to have somewhere in private to vent to when you feel emotionally overloaded or insecure, and honestly sometimes it can help to re-evaluate.

For some people, writing fic when a certain threshold of interaction isn't reached, just isn't worth it. I can't convince people like that to keep writing. If there's a deep seated 'this isn't worth it' then stop doing it.

If there's 'this is insecurity and I'm not good at valuing everyone and I feel down right now but it'll pass' then...work quietly and patiently and compassionately on strengthening your resilience and your trust in your own writing, and your ability to value individuals who interact and engage on your fics. If you don't do this, you may end up bitter and resentful, and that can influence your entire relationship with fandom, and worse, the people who interact with your fics.

Also, finally:

How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

In fanfiction, I do not base whether something is worth my writing time on the quantity of people who will interact with it. It is worth my writing time because I'm really excited to write it, and I want to share it, even if people don't respond immediately, or even if only one person ever comments.

I don't...have this fear that you have based on the things you're basing it on - my fears are different to yours. It's fanfiction. It's worth my writing time because I'm eager to write or fix or alter something in canon or I want to make the two boys fuck because no one else was going to, and because I can generally trust that one person out there will probably read it, even if I go back over 10 years ago and my Livejournal fics were only getting like one comment per chapter. If that.

If your metric for 'worthiness' is 'quantity of interaction' then - I'm the wrong person to talk to, I'm literally motivated to write fanfiction by completely different factors to you. I didn't start SAL knowing it would get popular, I thought people would hate me because I killed Jamie in the first chapter, and up until that point none of my fics had been popular.

I can't convince you on the things that convince me, when our foundational motivations are different. If you want quantity and that's what 'worth' means to you, I don't know what to tell you, I would never have written SAL in the first place if I hadn't been the kind of person to just write fanfic for almost no / or no interactions, and still enjoy that single person who said 'I really enjoyed this thank you for writing.' I didn't spring into being as someone who was writing fics that got a lot of interaction, that came...years later, y'know?

So what is worthy to me sounds like it's also just different to what is worthy to you. Ultimately, there are people only writing fanfiction on the basis of how many people interact with them, and...I don't know how those people keep choosing to write honestly, and I think a lot eventually abandon it, because there's no algorithm to crack in order to be successful every time. Maybe...remind yourself that you've had popular fics in the past and therefore you will again? And that you can't get to that point without less popular fics on the step ladder in the meantime? Therefore, even a fic that doesn't feel 'worth your time' will be a stepping stone to the one that is?

Imho, I think my fics are worth my time because I enjoy reading them once they're finished. And then I think they're worth my time because other people enjoy them. Having a popular fic is fun and nice, but honestly, often a fluke, and doesn't always say anything about the quality of the writing (some of the most popular Yuri! on Ice stories with 10,000+ kudos were like...not always...the most well-written stories, but people were desperate for Content, and it was certainly that).

But yeah, how I think about fanfiction is very different to how I think about 'fiction that has to earn an income.' Ultimately I don't want to apply the latter philosophies to the former, other people do. If you're applying 'this needs to hit a certain threshold of interaction to be worthy' as your basis for writing fanfiction, then...we have very very different motivations for creating content in fandom! And I'm the wrong person to ask.

As I said, it's complicated, lol.

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on fanfiction #people have different values they bring to writing fanfiction #i've seen folks just say 'it's not worth it' if they're not getting like a certain amount of kudos or comments #and idk #i don't relate to that #which i know is hard to believe now but like #i *literally started out*#posting fics on livejournal and on livejournal communities #thinking it was a small miracle if like #*a single person commented*#and that's what sustained me for years #if that would've made you quit #we're here for different reasons anon

19 notes · View notes

spencessmile · 4 years ago

Text

I’ll Always Take Care Of You

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary - Some days are harder than others, your boyfriend makes sure he's always there for you.

Warning - Fluff

Word Count - 1149 words

And all imagines/fanfics/blurbs are written solely by me so please don't steal my work and post it without my consent. Happy Reading.

I jammed the key into the lock and closed the door behind me, dropping my keys and bag next to Spence's brown satchel on the floor. I had thee most stressful day at work that I could cry.

If I didn't need this job, I would have marched into the managers office and handed in my resignation letter and never looked back. But I couldn't do that because this job was the only thing keeping me stable in life.

I was so frustrated, I noticed an empty glass sitting on the side table next to the couch, I grabbed it and chucked it against the bookshelf, watching it smash into a million pieces. The glass sort of represented my life, I was fragile as glass and with the right words or actions I could break in an instant.

It broke me too think that I am this breakable.

I stood there for a couple of seconds before everything became too much.

"DAMN IT!" I shouted, I fell to the ground, tears streaming down my face. I noticed the living room lights turn on and a blurry figure running towards me.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Spencer's voice was ringing in my ears. He bent down to my level and wrapped his arms around me, inhaling his vanilla scent mixed with coffee just made me cry harder. "Hey, hey, it's okay." He rubbed my back. I was crying so hard I found it hard to catch my own breathe. "Babe, please breathe." Spencer's whispers into my ear and I try. "It's okay, let it out. I'm here. It's alright."

I don't know how long Spencer and I stayed on the floor but I pulled back and looked up at him. His golden brown eyes filled with worry.

"Come on," Spencer and I head into our shared bedroom and I head straight into the washroom for a hot shower. "Take as long as you need, I'll make you something to eat." Spencer handed me a pair of pajamas and kissed my forehead.

I stood in the shower until the hot water turned cold. I changed into the pair of pajamas and dried my wet hair. Spencer was sitting on the bed, reading a book. He closed it as soon as he realized I was out of the shower. I threw the towel aside and he reached for my hands.

"Feel a little bit better?" He asked, moving some hair out of my face. I nodded. "Good. Come on." We head into the living room and I sit on the couch, the tv playing a random episode of Doctor Who.

"I'll be back with your dinner." A few moments later, Spence comes back holding a tray. He places in front of you.

"Spence you didn't have to do this." The tray consists of Dino chicken nuggets, canned chicken noodle soup and a packet of cheddar goldfish.

"I wanted to do this. Also, I know you love your carbohydrates but we don't have any bread so I couldn't make you favorite night time sandwich." I chuckled.

"No, this is perfect." I leaned in for a kiss and our lips molded together, before anything could escalate, Spence pulls back.

"You need to eat." He motioned at the plate, he got up.

"Where you going?" I grabbed for his hand.

"I'll be back, continue eating."

A couple of seconds passed and Spence walked out, holding my favorite royal blue plush blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders. After I finished eating, I discarded the dishes to the kitchen and snuggled closer to Spence. I wrapped my arm around his torso as we both continued watching the episode.

My eyes stated to slowly shut to hearing Spence's heartbeat.

"Hey, sleepyhead, let's get you to bed. Come on." Spence grabbed for my hand but I lifted my head and sat in place. "What's wrong?" He asked, facing me.

"I'm sorry." I simply stated.

"For what?"

"For being really hard to love sometimes."

"Why would you think your hard to love?"

"Because I am."

He shakes his head and intertwines our hands. "No, your not."

"Oh, but I am."

"No, loving you is the best thing I've ever decided to do in this lifetime."

"Your just saying that to make me feel better about myself." I looked away from him. "Hey, hey, look at me." I looked back at him and he cupped my right cheek, I leaned into his hand.

"I love you because you have such a beautiful smile that makes me happy, I love getting your goofy crazy good night messages from you, when I'm away on a case. I love how you motivate me every single day to be a better me. I love how you understand me, and when you don’t, you do everything you can to try. I love how you always believe in me. I love how you make an effort with my mom when we go to visit her, because you know how much she means to me. Because you make me laugh so hard. I love you because you are always kind to other people, even if they don’t deserve it. I love how you care deeply about my success and my happiness. I love how you never give up on me, even when I’m at my worst. I love how you may not always agree with my decisions but you always trust me to make them. I lov-"

Spence stopped when he heard me sniffle.

"Please stop before my heart bursts out of my chest." I say barely above of whisper.

"There's been a new study that shows that you can get a heart attack from being too happy. Too much any emotion can cause your heart to weaken an-" Before Spencer could finish his sentence, I crack a laugh, avoiding eye contact.

Spence raises my chin with his hand.

"I need you to know that as long as you have me you will never be alone. I will be here and I will always love you." My body molds into Spencer's as I tightly hugged him.

I pulled away and he wiped my tears away. "There's only one thing I don't love about you."

I looked up, tears forming again at his words. "I don't love your tears."

"Their happy tears." I playfully smack his chest.

"Then those are the only tears that should ever be in your eyes."

"Thank you for taking care of me."

"I'll always take care of you."

I will love you till my bones are brittle and love is all I have left - a.r. asher

#spencer reid #BAU #Criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine

325 notes · View notes

ayatosmlktea · 5 years ago

Note

Hi may i request some levi x reader in which she is a gentle nurse who goes to the underground ocassionally to help the kids in need there? Kinda like charity idk. Levi (still living in there with Farlan and Isabel) thinks her actions are not selfless or maybe resents her by thinking she looks down on all of the underground citizens, until Farlan gets injured and the reader helps them, making Levi see her in a new light, having a crush on her. Thanks you

A/N: This was a great request! Sorry it took so long! This request is just about 4000 words...I obviously got carried away with it but I hope you enjoy it!!!!!

𝑱𝒖𝒅𝒈𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍

To say that Levi despised her was an understatement. The way she would come and go as she pleased, pitying their despairing life was vile to him. There was absolutely no way that anyone of her social standing could do anything out of the kindness of their own hearts.

There was always an ulterior motive. At first he hadn’t paid much attention to her presence, figuring that once she got a taste of what the underground was like she would go running back to the surface at the first sight of filth. He hadn’t paid much attention to the medical care she was giving a few of the kids, sure he could appreciate the poor underfed brats being taken care of. No one looked out for anyone down there, it was eat or be eaten.

Levi didn’t know why her presence made him so annoyed, or why the mere sight of her had his skin crawling in a way that made him want to scrub his skin until it was raw. Levi hated pity, especially when it came from spoiled good-for-nothing rich outsiders. The last thing any of them needed were constant reminders of how close the lives they wanted were only to have it ripped from their grasp. Isabel and Farlan were less jaded than Levi was and a little bit too trusting of the gentle stranger that came in and out of the underground.

“She’s really nice, big bro! You should give her a chance!” Isabel pleaded, Levi merely scoffed. Like he would ever let himself get close to her kind. The last thing he needed was some stuck up snobby rich girl pitying him.

“I’ll pass,” Levi replied, his tone indicating that the conversation should end there. Isabel sighed dramatically but decided to drop the topic for now knowing that if she pushed any harder she was never going to get Levi to even look at Y/N. Rounding the corner a sneer flashed across his face as his eyes met the crouched form of the unofficial underground nurse.

“Come on, let me see that beautiful smile of yours” Levi rolled his eyes at the soft words that made the small girl giggle. Pulling out a few tissues from her bag she wiped away any stray tears on the child’s face and then gave her extra ones to blow her nose.

“This is going to hurt a little bit but you can handle it right? You’re a tough cookie!” The red haired child nodded tentatively, her hands clenched in her lap while the h/c woman unwrapped a pad of alcohol wipes and rubbed it over a fairly nasty scrape on the girl's knee. Her fingers worked quickly as she wrapped white gauze around the little girl’s knee, securing it with clips and medical tape.

“There! All better” The kind hearted smile she gave the little girl while handing her a small piece of chocolate had his stomach churning.

“See! Told ya she was nice” Isabel chirped, skipping over to chat with her newly made friend. Levi was not impressed, not in the slightest.

“What’s your deal?” He asked, looking down at her with an unwavering gaze that would have had most men running with their tail between their legs. E/C eyes finally raised to meet his glare, her brow cocked as she let out a scoff.

“Why do I need to have a deal? Can’t I just help because I want to?” Packing up the bandages into her small black bag she stood up, smoothing the creases on her skirt. She was taller than Levi, crossing her arms over her chest and rested her weight on one leg. Her sudden cocky demeanour a complete flip from the kind-hearted young woman that had been crouched before him seconds ago.

“No, no one does shit just because they want to. Everyone has a price, what’s yours?” Y/N rolled her eyes, a curt laugh grating against his ears painfully.

“What a cynical worldview you have, some of us don’t give a shit about money. These kids need help, would you rather I let them succumb to preventable infections and have them suffer?”

“Tch, no one here needs your charity. Whatever you’re expecting to get from these people you think you’re helping isn’t going to happen. Stop giving these kids false hope, all you’re doing is waving your perfect life in their faces while reminding them that they’re never going to live one” Levi’s words were cold, sharp and unforgiving. Every sentence gradually louder than the next until he was spitting his feelings of resentfulness easily and without restraint.

“I’m assuming you’re Levi. Isabel did say you were a bit difficult to get to know.” Levi’s eyes briefly glanced over at the bashful looking red-head before focusing on Y/N.

“I don’t care what your opinions of me are, if you don’t like me then stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours!” Not giving Levi the chance to come up with another jab to her intentions she turned her back on him and started walking off with Isabel at her side.

Clicking his tongue in annoyance Levi strode off in the opposite direction, he would make damn sure that their paths never crossed again.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。..·

“You’ve got to be kidding me” Levi groaned, it seemed that no matter how hard he tried to avoid her, they always seemed to run into each other. Y/N’s presence had become too frequent for Levi’s liking. He couldn’t shake his gut feeling that her intentions were not as innocent as she wanted them to think.

What normal person went out of their way to care for kids they had no obligations to? Even their own parents didn’t seem to care about them as much as Y/N did. Levi had no idea what was so appealing about her, he was surprised Isabel continued to hang around her for as long as she did.

“Hey it’s okay! It’s only going to feel like a little pinch for two seconds and then it’s over” Y/N was trying to soothe a crying boy, he looked scared and if Levi didn’t know any better she looked exhausted. Her clothes were stained in a mixture of dirt and what looked like blood.

His nose scrunched at how dirty she was. Noticing the small needle in her hands Levi could gather enough to know that she was having trouble trying to calm the frantic boy sitting across from her. There was a white bandage wrapped around his upper arm.

He should have just kept walking, completely ignored her and pretended that she didn’t exist, but his feet wouldn’t move.

Her eyes slowly raised, a small spark of relief flashed across her face.

“Can you please hold him still for me? I just need to give him this shot so he doesn’t get an infection” Her tone was soft but her eyes were pleading with him for help. Figuring that it was better to get it over with, and not because he felt any compassion for her, Levi squatted down nudging the child to look at him.

“Listen kid, just sit still and let her give you the shot. Otherwise you’re going to get sick, is that what you want?” She inwardly cringes at his absence of gentleness but it seems to work, and she isn’t going to argue with it.

“There! It’s all done, wasn’t so bad was it?” she smiles brightly at the boy who wipes away a few tears shaking his head. Handing him a small piece of chocolate, the same thing she did after treating every one of her ‘patients’, she checked the bandage on his arm one last time.

“Make sure you wash this properly tonight okay? Have your sister wrap it again tomorrow morning and don’t go playing around with metal, got it?” Y/N says sternly, handing him a small roll of bandages.

“Thank you, miss” he sniffles, giving her a quick hug before running off.

“Still running your charity business I see” Levi mutters, Y/N rolls her eyes in response.

“Do you really think I’d still be doing this for free if I didn’t care about these kids? I’ve had my fair share of intimidation down here” Y/N replies, it wasn’t unlike Levi to make jabs at her work. It had already been nearly three months of consistently sneaking down into the underground and caring for the sick, hurt children and occasionally some of the adults.

“I know how you feel about me but I’m not going to justify my actions, I help people who need it. That’s it! There’s nothing in it for me except being able to sleep at night knowing that I’m able to make a difference for these kids” She’s persistent, Levi gives her that much. It’s almost a little endearing. Endearing? Where the hell did that come from, Levi shakes his head. He was not about to get soft for her, no matter how pure her intentions seemed.

At the end of the day their worlds were never meant to collide.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。..·

Levi didn’t know why their paths always collided. He couldn’t explain why he was watching her like some creep from a distance. If he didn’t see her at least once a week he knew something was off. Nearly all the kids had taken a liking to her, even some of the older troublesome teenagers were putty in her hands.

Perhaps it was the gentle touch she so willingly and freely gave that they’d never know. Levi watched her work with a fascination that he would never let her know, her fingers were gentle and skilled. Not once had she ever commented on their lifestyle or made them feel the way that everyone viewed them.

She didn’t seem to mind the dirt and filth that clung to her clothes, and was more than willing to spend extra time with the children she helped care for. Maybe she wasn’t like the others, maybe there was something different about her heart. His many harsh jabs at her never deterred her and she was more than capable of holding her own against his crass humor.

Somewhere along half heartedly insulting her he’d actually come to miss her presence. After her confession last time that she’d run into the less favourable men of the underground, Levi had taken it upon himself to personally escort her back to the entrance. He was a well known thug, people wouldn’t bother her if they knew what was good for themselves.

Y/N couldn’t say she wasn’t grateful, and more often than once she’d found herself wanting to kiss him. It was a little ridiculous, falling for someone who acted like they didn’t want anything to do with her, but underneath layers of walls that had been up to keep his heart protected was a very vulnerable person. Y/N chalked it up to her nurturing nature, it had to be the only reasonable explanation for why she craved his presence at night.

She was also fairly close to Farlan, except he didn’t bring a parade of butterflies with him whenever he was around. He didn’t make her uncharacteristically nervous, and he most definitely didn’t make her swoon when their eyes met. Sighing in defeat, Y/N covers her head with her pillow.

She had a thing for Levi, and she had it bad.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。..·

The door to their house slams open, Levi and Farlan stumble in both covered in a mixture of blood and dirt. Farlan looks a lot worse for wear than Levi, a large pool of blood soaking through his shirt. His face is deathly pale and there are large beads of sweat dripping down his face and he can barely stand on his own.

“What happened?” Isabel cries rushing towards the two, helping Levi carry Farlan over to the couch and lying him down.

“We got ambushed” Levi huffs under his breath, he would’ve had no trouble taking out the thugs that had jumped them if Farlan hadn’t been sliced open while he had been caught off guard.

Lifting his shirt Isabel nearly gags, the wound is deep and wide across his stomach with blood flowing out.

“Get some towels and put pressure on it, we need to stop the bleeding” Levi orders snapping Isabel out of her trance.

While they’re all fairly good at stitching up small wounds, neither of them have ever done anything this big before and at the rate that Farlan is losing blood they need to act fast.

“Go get Y/N! She can help” Levi wants to say no, he’s stubborn and too prideful to admit that they need her help.

“Please!” Levi doesn’t say anything, one look at Farlan’s face is enough to convince him that now would be the right time to swallow his pride. He doesn’t even know where to start looking for her but at least his ODM gear can make the search for her faster.

It almost feels like luck is on their side, Y/N isn’t far from their house and Levi almost flies right into her as she rounds a corner.

“I need your help” Y/N can’t contain her shock, not once in all her time in the underground had Levi ever asked her for help and on top of it he looked like he’d been to hell and back.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asks jokingly not thinking his request was actually serious. Her eyes assess his black eye and cut lip.

“It’s Farlan” Her eyes widen ever so slightly, the pit of dread in her stomach signaling that it was probably bad if Levi had grown some balls to ask for her help.

“Please�� Y/N is sure she’s been knocked out or at the very least hallucinating and she wants to make a witty jab but the look in his eyes is one she’s never seen before. It’s almost desperate, and if she looks a little closer, scared. Nodding she lets out a surprised yelp when Levi grabs her in his arms.

“Don’t let go” he mumbles before manoeuvring them through the streets.

“Yeah, like I’d do that!” She tries to sound sassy but the feeling of soaring through the air makes the words catch in her throat coming out more scared than anything. Y/N can’t deny that the feeling of zipping so freely through the air is just as exhilarating as it is terrifying, it’s something she’s always wanted to experience. Her eyes always followed the trio with amazement and adoration at how effortless they made it look.

Her arms tighten around his neck as he makes a sharp turn and she wonders if she imagines the barely audible sharp intake of air he takes. His feet hit the ground and the force of his momentum is hard enough to throw her out of his grasp if it weren’t for his arms holding her against him.

“Um thanks” she mutters, hoping to God that her face isn’t as red as it feels.

Her legs are a little wobbly and her heart feels like it’s going to burst out of her chest and she’s sure her face is on fire. Levi ushers her into the house, his hand just ghosting over the small of her back leaving sparks of electricity in their place.

“Y/N! Thank gods you’re here” Isabel nearly cries with relief, her hands are soaked with Farlan’s blood and it makes her stomach churn. She’d been expecting something bad, but this was almost beyond her capabilities.

“Okay I need a bowl of warm water, some more towels, a bucket and I need an extra pair of hands.” Dropping her bag next to the couch and rolling up her sleeves she looks to Levi.

“Do you have somewhere else we can move him? Preferably a table?” Y/N and Levi carefully move Farlan’s barely conscious body onto the large table they dragged from the kitchen beside the couch. Levi grimaces at the blood soaked cushions, guilt eating away at him. Isabel brings over a bowl of warm water and towels.

“Maybe you should wait outside Izzy, you did a great job stabilizing him until I got here” Y/N gives Isabel a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to” she offers, while washing her hands.

“Of course I’m staying” he rolls his eyes, almost offended that she would insinuate he couldn’t handle it. Sure it was messy but Farlan was his family.

“Okay then let’s get started. We’re running out of time”

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。..·

What felt like hours later, Y/N closed the last stitch. Her fingers were so cramped she couldn’t uncurl them, her feet and back were aching but Farlan would live. He’d lost a substantial amount of blood, but there was nothing she could do about that for now.

She’d have to come back with more supplies tomorrow. All she wanted to do was collapse onto the floor and sleep, her eyes were burning and blurry. Levi had gone to call Isabel inside and the two carried Farlan into his room. She grabbed the bloodied towels and threw them into the garbage. She’d have to bring more towels too.

“You should rest” Levi murmurs from beside her causing her to jump out of her skin.

“God Levi, don’t do that!” she huffs, her body just barely leaning against his as he moves to turn off the tap water.

“Someone's jumpy” he smirks, enjoying the crimson tint that spreads over her face. God his smirk was lethal.

“Shut up” Y/N huffs, drying her hands. Her body was so tired she could barely pick her feet up. Levi grabs her by the upper arm, leading her to his bedroom. Even in her state of exhaustion she feels the room becoming smaller and hotter as she watches him sort through his clothes, finally throwing her a plain shirt.

“Change and then get some sleep, you look like shit” Levi directs her to the bathroom.

“Always so charming” Y/N mutters, feeling a little self conscious at his comment. It wasn’t the first time he’d commented on her appearance but it was the first time that it made her feel self-conscious. Maybe it was because this was the first time she’d ever seen a side to his personal life, or maybe it was because all she wanted was one compliment from him.

It was probably pointless, the Levi she’d grown to love didn’t come off as someone who had time to let anyone else in. Looking back at her reflection in the mirror, she had to admit he had a point. Her hair was a little frizzy, strands were coming undone from her ponytail and the circles under her eyes were a little darker than usual.

Despite being too tired to even think about putting effort into her appearance, the feelings for Levi that had taken over her rational mind would not allow her to leave the bathroom without even trying to look half decent.

Wearing his shirt was something else entirely, it smelled like him, which was probably creepy of her to say but it made a longing to call him hers pang in her heart.

“Stop being so fucking soft” she scolds herself mentally. It wasn’t going to do her any good to fall for him. Not that it had worked in slowing down her feelings.

“Just tell her! What’s the worst that could happen?” She hears Isabel say through the door, her curiosity spiking.

“She could hear me” Levi responds dryly.

“Is that big bro’s shirt?” Isabel asked, her eyes darting to Levi briefly, as Y/N walked out of the bathroom.

“Uh, yeah” she mumbled feeling suddenly tiny under Isabel and Levi’s gaze. Something unreadable flashes across Isabel’s face before grabbing the dirty clothes out of her hands.

“I’ll go wash these for you!” She chirps.

“Oh no it’s okay, I can do it!” Y/N protests but Isabel is having none of it.

“Y/N please, you saved Farlan’s life. This is the least I can do” Y/N still felt guilty letting Isabel wash her clothes but she knew how stubborn the red-head could be.

“Go sleep, you need it” It was strange being in Levi’s room, it was personal and intimate and yet it felt like she was just a stranger looking in. His room was clean, unsurprisingly, there weren’t many things in it but she didn’t have to ask him to know that whatever was in the room had some sentimental value to him.

“The bed isn’t going to bite” Levi declared once again giving her a heart attack.

“Stop doing that! At least make noise or something” Y/N groaned, willing her heart to calm down. The two of them sat awkwardly on the edge of his bed, not saying anything and it was only making her more nervous.

“Thank you” his words were so quiet she wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t sitting so close to her.

“You don’t need to thank me, I’m always happy to help” Y/N replied truthfully, it was something she would have done for anyone else.

“I guess I was wrong about you” he chuckled softly, her heart was pounding in her chest so hard it physically hurt. This was the first time she’d seen him smile, let alone laugh. Levi turned his head, his eyes lingering on her lips long enough to make the back of her neck prickle with heat.

She didn’t know what spurred it, maybe she was too tired to care, but she found herself leaning into him and to her surprise Levi wasn’t moving away. His hand cupped the side of her face bringing their lips together in a kiss that was anything but gentle. Her entire being was screaming, nerves on fire and heart about to explode. It was everything she had ever dreamed of and more.

Levi had never felt anything softer or tasted anything sweeter than her lips. It made his head spin, and his stomach flip with nerves. His mind was so overwhelmed with pleasure that the sting of his cut lips didn’t even register in his mind. He didn’t want to stop kissing her but his lungs were burning for air.

Y/N pulled him right back in, her fists gripping the collar of his shirt and his other hand tangles itself in her hair at the nape of her neck. Kissing her was addictive, it felt like finally coming up for air and the feeling of her hands cupping his jaw had his nerves short circuiting. Eventually, her impulsivity wore off and the realization of what she’d done hit her hard.

“I can’t believe we just kissed” she whispered, bringing a hand to her slightly swollen lips which were still tingling from his touch. Levi immediately took her words to mean that she regretted it and his body tensed, waiting for her to take it back.

“Oh, was it a mistake then?”

“No! That’s not what I meant!” she explains frantically knowing that he’ll shut her out at the slightest hint of rejection

“I obviously have feelings for you, dumbass” Levi rolls his eyes and scoffs.

“So articulate, Y/N”

“I’ve thought about doing that for a while” she mumbles, Levi could feel the tips of his ears growing hot at her confession.

“Say something! I look like an idiot confessing all by myse-” Levi drags her back in for another kiss effectively cutting her off.

“Is this a good enough confession for you?” He smirks and suddenly Y/N isn’t that tired anymore.

“I don’t know, you might need to convince me a little more”

561 notes · View notes

jumukus · 4 years ago

Text

A3! Translation: Spring Troupe’s Interview From Documentary Book’s “Moment of Spring”

Translation under the cut.

First of all, while looking at the photos on the cover, please tell us what happened on the day you took them.

Sakuya: It was a frame of the Spring Troupe's spring!

Chikage: I wonder if Sakuya was holding Hina dolls in his photo.

Citron: Oh, I know that! Isn't that the thing that was born while chirping after you kept it warm for three days and three nights?

Tsuzuru: It's not that "Hina."

Itaru: It's a different Hina.

Masumi: ...These ugly Hina dolls are put in the theater lobby.

Sakuya: Wow, Masumi-kun! You sure have a sharp eye.

Masumi: It’s because Director and I helped decorate them there.

Sakuya: Oh, I see. To tell you the truth, it was all due to Manager saying that the theater lobby felt kind of empty. And given that it's March, we decided to decorate the lobby with Hina Festival-themed items.

Tsuzuru: Not to mention that a lot of the audience members are girls.

Chikage: The Masumi in this photo… Was he about to give a present to Director?

Itaru: That expression is exclusive for Director only. He's so easy to read.

Tsuzuru: If I remember correctly, this was taken during White Day. I remember seeing him grinning ear to ear while staring at the present in our room.

Masumi: I was imagining Director's reaction after I gave her that present. I was sure she'd be surprised but at the same time so happy she couldn't stop laughing… Then, she'd blissfully say, "Thank you. I'll treasure it."

Itaru: Surprised but so happy she couldn't stop laughing?

Citron: Now I'm curious about what your present is!

Sakuya: So was she happy about the present?

Masumi: Not telling. It was a memory that only me and Director share.

Citron: Aw, Masumi is a cheapskate~.

Sakuya: Meanwhile… things seemed to be lively in Tsuzuru-kun's photo!

Tsuzuru: My brothers started fighting when I was making sakura mochi for our cherry blossom viewing. I know I should've just left them be since they're always fighting, but… I couldn't help but speak out.

Chikage: You're truly a natural born big brother, handling this kind of thing by reflexes.

Citron: Is that a carnation you were holding, Itaru?

Masumi: For mother's day?

Itaru: Yep. I was planning to buy flowers and stop by my home. My sister apparently predicted this and asked me to buy her sweets. I was talking to her in the photo. They're all very popular stores that can have people waiting in line. But well, they have pretty tolerable prices…

Masumi: Looking at your expression, you should have found some excuses to refuse her.

Itaru: You could say that because you don't how my sister is when she's mad…

Citron: I want to meet Itaru's rumored sister one day!

Masumi: ...Citron's pose looked weird in this one.

Sakuya: Whoa, the bamboo shoots are big!

Citron: I call it, "ever-growing bamboo shoots" pose~. The greengrocer uncle from the shopping district gave those fine bamboo shoots to me!

Tsuzuru: You really are the idol of the shopping district… As long as Citron-san is here, looks like we don't need to worry about hunger issue. It's already been taken care of without us knowing.

Itaru: Last one is senpai… Huh? Is it really okay to have your photo like this? You were in the middle of doing some dangerous side jobs in this one, right?

Chikage: What do you take me for? As you can see, I was making a helmet with origami.

Masumi: I saw this helmet in the theater lobby. It was so symmetrical and terrifyingly well-made.

Tsuzuru: It felt like that helmet brought out Chikage-san's personality.

Citron: We all were enjoying spring and taking a very blissful shot!

Sakuya: That's right! Spring is indeed such a lovely season!

Then, as we looked back at your plays up until the sixth one, please tell us an event that left the most impression on you.

Citron: It would take forever, you know! We have a loooot of memories together, though I think the turning point of Spring Troupe was during our debut and fourth play.

Tsuzuru: During our debut play, we were all still beginners in theater and were still figuring out everything. Chikage-san joined us during our fourth play and we became a six-member group… I've gotta admit we underwent a major change as a troupe that time.

Sakuya: In addition, it was during the preparation for these two plays that we slept on the stage together!

Tsuzuru: The first time we did it was because Yuzo-san roasted us so bad, so we decided to sleep onstage to understand the play better. During our fourth play, we already invited Chikage-san but since he had work to do, we couldn't do it...

Masumi: But when we headed to the theater for our morning practice, these two were sleeping. Thus, I slept too.

Itaru: We were so noisy at that time so I figured you'd wake up soon, but… you sure slept like a log, huh, senpai?

Chikage: I still woke up in the end since your snoring was too loud, though.

Itaru: Seriously?

Masumi: You do look like the type who snores loudly.

Chikage: Joking aside… back then, I was surprised when I woke up and found you all there.

Citron: Oh, so our prank was a big success in the end! I wanna throw another slumber party with you all~.

Sakuya: Me too! I want to chat about a lot of things with you all!

Masumi: About love?

Itaru: I have a feeling Masumi's gonna monopolize that talk.

Tsuzuru: Heck yeah…

Chikage: That sounds fun. Why not?

Now that all of you have experienced becoming the leading actors, please tell us what kind of roles or performance you want to have.

Chikage: Since we have Tsuzuru here, it wouldn't hurt to say whatever we want, right?

Tsuzuru: You have a point, and it can also be a motivation to act. For the time being, I'd like to hear what you want to do...

Citron: In that case, I wanna appear in a Japanese style play!

Itaru: ...Ah, in that case, don't you think adding fantasy element to the play will be cool? Like a youkai-themed play.

Tsuzuru: Some amazing suggestions came right at the very beginning… But well, given that we rarely deliver a Japanese style play, I think it may turn good.

Masumi: Then, I want to take on a knight role. Obviously, the one playing the princess will be--.

Tsuzuru: Since we already have KniRoun that had similar sense, I don't think we'll do that now.

Masumi: If so--.

Tsuzuru: Not a bridegroom role. If we're going to do a play set at a wedding hall, then we'll also have one of Spring Troupe members crossdress to play the bride.

Chikage: Tsuzuru crossdressing, huh… That's kind of new.

Sakuya: It may fit him, surprisingly.

Tsuzuru: Why me!? I'm banning you all from raising random flags!

Citron: Do you have any roles you want to play, Chikage?

Chikage: A role I want to play, huh… Since I've only performed three plays at the moment, there's nothing in particular.

Itaru: How about taking a non-glasses character once more? All of your characters are wearing glasses except Gawain.

Masumi: Playing a glasses character once per two plays?

Sakuya: But I feel like Chikage-san can pull of any kind of characters!

Tsuzuru: Well, yeah. Since you're good at stage combat… I think giving you another role with lots of action will be a great idea.

Chikage: Exercising is one of my fortes, so I'll do my best if you give me one. How about you, Sakuya?

Sakuya: ...It's not really a role, but I want to deliver a play with everyone in the theater troupe someday!

Itaru: That means the main cast will consist of 24 people.

Citron: Oh, it sounds very fun! I want to do it too!

Masumi: I support that idea. That way, we'll have less lines. Tsuzuru will probably die, though.

Itaru: That'll be Tsuzuru's posthumous work…

Tsuzuru: Please stop saying things that will bring bad luck like that! I do admit I feel like the Sanzu River comes into view, though! ...But well, I want to do that too one day. I have a feeling I can write a piece that I've never written until this day.

Sakuya: Whoa… I'm already looking forward to see what kind of characters and story that you'll come up with!

Chikage: So can I expect this piece to be your masterpiece?

Itaru: This'll be a piece that continues to be handed down in Japan's theater industry.

Citron: Non, non! It'll be a piece that easily sweeps the top categories at International Theater Awards.

Tsuzuru: H-Hey, I haven't even started writing it! Please stop raising the bar!

I'd also like to ask about your personal stories. Given that this book is dedicated to "Moments of Spring Troupe", can you tell us what kind of thing that is currently popular within your troupe?

Itaru: If I have to choose, I think it's Zahra's board game--the one that Prince Tangerine gave us as a souvenir during the sixth play.

Masumi: The game requires each of us to cultivate the uninhabited islands in Zahra, develop it and do some tradings.

Sakuya: The player with the most territories will be declared the winner at the end of the game! The game is so interesting that it has become our daily routine to play it once we're done with rehearsals!

Citron: I'm glad that everyone is enjoying the game! I also have a game that I'd like to recommend to you all, you see! I'll have Guy get it next time!

Chikage: Last time I checked there's also a game in which you become a spices merchant and get rich, right? I'm a little bit curious about that one.

Tsuzuru: No, I don't think the Zahra Kingdom has that kind of ga--.

Citron: I expected no less from Chikage! You even know that game! OK, I'll have them send that too!

Itaru: Wow, it does exist…

Last but not least, please send a message to the fans who are always supporting Spring Troupe.

Sakuya: On behalf of Spring Troupe… I'd like to thank you all for always supporting us! Before we knew it, we already held six plays. It was all thanks to your support that we were able to deliver this number of plays. Even if it's only one, we'll be happy if you have scenes or lines from our plays that are unforgettable to you. For our next play, we promise to give everything we can to deliver a beautiful performance to you all. Therefore--

Spring Troupe: Thank you for your continuous support!

T/N:

*Hina doll shares the same kanji as chick (雛) hence the misunderstanding.

**For those who don't know, Hina Festival is usually held on March 3.

***In Japanese myths, the Sanzu River is a river that people are said to cross on the seventh day after their death.

#a3!#a3! translation #spring troupe #sakuya sakuma #masumi usui #tsuzuru minagi #itaru chigasaki #citron #chikage utsuki

257 notes · View notes

amphtaminedreams · 3 years ago

Text

Spring/Summer & Haute Couture Week 2021: Whoops, I’ve Missed a Loooot (Part 2)

Hey to anyone reading,

I’m so sorry for the gap between the last fashion week review post and this one! Argh. I had no idea I posted it as long ago as the beginning of March but I think we can all agree that lockdown has fucked with our perceptions of time completely. I wish I could say the delay in posting was as simple as me being busy but I’ve also started to reflect on whether or not I want to carry on this format of posts for the time being; on the scale of problems, this one is wayyy down there in the very lower quartile of the first world region, but my motivation to carry on this kind of content in the form of long-winded text posts is...meh...not so much there anymore. At first I was thinking the issue was that working on these was my last priority on my daily to-do lists but as I’ve got back into writing fiction, it’s kind of occurred to me that the fact I was putting these posts on my to-do lists in the first place along with things like doing the ironing and contacting student finance speaks volumes. When I’m back from work or winding down, opening up Tumblr and coming back to this draft isn’t something that I think of as a fun stress reliever in the way drafting stories is. It doesn’t feel like I’m using my imagination or my creativity or expressing myself in any way and it’s not much of an escape from day to day life in the way that writing dialogue or exploring characters is. Maybe it’s because I’ve done quite a few of these posts now but I just tend to feel like I’m repeating myself, you know kinda like when you’re writing an essay and trying to fill up a word count; of course there are collections that I do have a lot of opinions on but by and large, sometimes it boils down to THESE CLOTHES ARE JUST FUCKING PRETTY, OKAY?! There’s only so many things you can say about a tulle skirt or an exaggerated collar before you want to strangle yourself with said tulle. I used to think iF VoGUe RuNwaY wRitErs CaN dO iT WhAT's MY exCusE until I realised that 1). Vogue Runway writers actually get paid and 2). for the most part all they do is explain the designer's intentions behind the collections verbatim without giving a critical opinion anyway.

I think a lot of the pressure I feel to justify what are in reality quite simple observations and opinions goes back to some of the feelings I explained in my first ever fashion week review where people who know more about fashion and have a formal education in the subject tend to be kind of gatekeep-y and elitist. It can never be that you appreciate different things about a collection but rather than one of you has taste and the other doesn’t and if it wasn’t obvious, the taste level assigned to you by the powers that be tend to positively correlate with the amount of money you have available to spend on a degree that has a reputation for failing to provide a steady income, which for most makes it an unrealistic avenue to pursue. I know, I know, the pressure is totally self-inflicted and wholly imagined seeing as I have under 500 followers on here and those who do interact with these posts most likely do so for the pictures but I still feel it, and given that I’m going to have enough external pressure to write essays when I return to uni in September, why on earth am I wasting time putting it on myself? When just posting photosets of my favourite looks is not only actually enjoyable for me but is also what other people WANT to see too? Nobody wants to read a self-indulgent paragraph like this when they’re here for the clothes and to be honest, for the most part I don’t want to write them anyway unless it’s something I have strong feelings about or if a collection can only be properly appreciated with analysis. I think I’ve made pretty clear which designers I’m a fan of, do you really need to hear me raving about Gucci or Zimmerman or Miu Miu or Balenciaga again? Is there gonna be anything revolutionary in yet another rant about Maria Grazia? Course not. I mean, if you are reading, you might have to witness those things one last time because I do intend to finish off this season’s review in this format for consistency purposes and because I’ve already got all the notes now but on the whole, I doubt anyone will miss my rambles.

So, with all that in mind, I think after I finish my S/S21 posts I am gonna start just uploading these posts without the written part. I mean, for one, the simplicity of doing this means I’m much less likely to procrastinate making them which in turn means I’ll be able to get them out right after the shows as a kind of summary as opposed to months later when they’re no longer as relevant. This will also give me more time to work on the writing I actually enjoy. Right now I’m going through and editing my 17 year old self’s “grown-up” take on the Pretty Little Liars blackmail murder mystery style plot line which I wrote back when I was completely and utterly obsessed with the show and bitterly disappointed by the last couple of seasons. The writing is pretty mediocre and often hugely cringey to read back now but I am still a fan of the basic plot and I’m genuinely motivated to see if I can make it something actually worth reading, and to get onto that ASAP; this feels especially important right now given that the HBO version of the series’ apparent upcoming release has sent that ever-present writer’s fear of seeing-your-same-storyline-done-better-by-somebody-else-thus-forever-relegating-your-version-to-being-the-poor-imitation-so-you-gotta-get-there-first into overdrive (or maybe that’s just me and my neuroses). Again, it’s a totally unfounded fear based on the fact that the HBO show will probs get millions of viewers whilst I will be doing little more than shouting into the void but anybody who’s used Turnitin to submit an essay that ultimately counts for little more than like 1% of your grade or degree will know that no matter how irrelevant your work is, the concept of failing a plagiarism check, be it via a computer algorithm or one random stranger on the internet’s assessment, is enough to conjure visions of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse galloping towards you screaming “START THE WHOLE THING AGAIN” before releasing a hoarde of 2015 Chanel vs. Walmart style comparison memes.

Now, speaking of Chanel, I should probably get back into the reviewing.

So for the last time for a little while, here’s Christian Siriano:

Siriano’s designs are a great example of work I feel guilty enjoying. I know that when it comes to quality, the high fashion community have a lot of (negative) things to say and I really can’t speak to that because quite honestly, I know very little about textile manufacturing. Solely from my own point of view though, I do like his work a lot. I wouldn’t claim for a minute that he’s a pioneer in terms of his creations but I would 100% love to wear them and I DO hugely admire his commitment to putting women of all sizes on the runway and designing pieces that don’t simply cater to straight up and down types which is more than can be said for most brands. I get that his collections are pretty formulaic, taking what has worked for the likes of Chanel and Alessandra Rich, De La Renta and Carolina Herrera, Michael Kors too (who is kind of guilty of the same thing himself), but that’s not to say his work is bad. Let’s be real, we’ve been on this planet thousands of years, we’re all taking inspiration from someone, and maybe figures like Kors and Siriano could wait a *little* longer before taking said inspiration but their aim at the end of the day is to sell clothes, not break barriers, a task which although often left to the big name brands, they too often fail at. I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling this whimsical mid-century tea party vibe, it’s elegant and it’s cutesy and My Fair Lady-esque, and you bet your arse I would be absolutely thrilled to wear one of these looks on a summer red carpet. I just can’t say no to anything tulle-maybe it’s that I was on Toddlers & Tiaras in a past life or maybe it’s that I watched too many Barbie Princess films growing up, but I like pretty much everything going on here, especially Siriano is giving us matching fedoras too. Plus, can we take a moment to praise Siriano for his COVID relief efforts? Near the beginning of the pandemic, he turned his studio into a mask manufacturing factory in order to send them out as donations, and I think that is very cool.

Then there’s Christopher Kane who once again came through with the most insanely gorgeous prints:

I mean, paint splattering is hardly a new technique but I haven’t seen it done as a print so tastefully before-it eats the Moschino biro scribble print (which apparently was copied too speaking of the tendencies of designers to “borrow” inspiration) for breakfast. It’s shit because there weren’t many looks in this collection and they weren’t really shot in a way that does them any justice but I thought I’d include the few I saved.

Comme Des Garcons is a fave of the high fashion community and one I look forward to seeing at fashion week but can never quite get behind. I appreciate the what-the-fuckery of it all with this show totally being able to pass as a run-through of some kind of nuclear waste themed scare house at one of Thorpe Park’s fright nights. I assume given that and the plastic Mickey Mouse print it’s supposed to be some kind of reference to the part late-stage capitalism has played in the hellish landscape we find ourselves in today? Or something all intellectual? In which case I made my interpretation with farrrr too much confidence. But Anyway! Who knows! I’ll leave the analysis to the fashion students, and give it one word: trippy.

Onto Dion Lee, a brand I truly do get excited to talk about because it’s rare that I don’t LOVE his work.

Without fail, Lee manages to be confidently ahead of the curve without going out of his way to announce it and his genius to everyone with flamboyant shows and exaggerated designs and extortionate prices. He is very much an underdog in the fashion world in terms of big names but you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t love his collections. His S/S21 collection is one of my favourites of the bunch. I love seeing something I’ve never seen before and the palm leaf breast plate is so odd but so cool and so perfectly Dion Lee at the same time; we’ve seen jungle/tropical inspired collections sooo many times *cough cough D&G cough cough* and THIS is how you make them fresh and unique. I mean, never in a million years did I think I’d get behind the resurgence of the gladiator sandal trend but Lee has me changing my mind. This is one of the very rare times you will ever see me using this meme to praise a man but:

I mean, he has Fernanda Ly modelling for him, that the man has taste goes without saying.

Now for a bit of a full circle moment, given that I did actually praise Dior’s haute couture collection in my first ever post; Maria Grazia did GOOD. Well, with haute couture at least.

She’s always pretty hamfisted with her references, there’s no denying, with that Grecian Goddess style RTW collection typifying that statement completely, but luckily she struck gold this time round; as someone who studied the Tudors for A-level history, seeing a modern take on the exaggeratedly feminine renaissance silhouettes with the baroque prints and the deep jewell tones got me super excited especially when you throw in the dreamy tarot theming and the nods to the mystical and arcane. Seeing as the Heavenly Bodies Met Gala (I know, I know, I need to move on) was some time ago now and Cersei Lannister’s *SPOILER* been crushed by a rock (could also be seen as a metaphor for the irrelevancy David Benioff and D.B Wise condemned GoT to when they aired that shitty ending tehe) and so probably won’t be getting a collection based on her costumes any time soon, this is the only fashion take on this kind of period dress I’m going to get…and you know what? I’m okay with that. Thanks Maria, I guess?

Her RTW collection wasn’t absolutely awful either, and slightly better than the past few collections at least. Put a monkey in a room with a typewriter (or show it enough similar well-received collections) and it will eventually write something that makes sense, don’t they say? I like the nomadic feel of a lot of the looks and there’s beautiful layering going on but the aura of exotic opulence unsurprisingly didn’t stick around for long and I found that there was a decline in quality in the midsection of the show that landed a lot of the outfits in either awkward mother of the bride at a beach wedding or The Only Way is Essex Ocean Beach PLT sponsored poolside party territory. The looks picked back up a bit towards the end stretch of the show but I wasn’t a fan of the Gucci style oversized glasses which were so out of place with the rest of the theming that if anything they seemed like a cheap grab at relevancy. So yeah, a middling, subpar Etro-esque collection which is better than usual for Dior I suppose.

Next, Elie Saab, whose S/S21 collection was kinda disappointing, tbh. Oh how the turns have tabled given that positive Dior review and my usual love of Saab’s collections.

I know his dresses lose some of their appeal when we can’t see them in motion but even ON the runway I can’t see myself being dazzled by any of these pieces the way I usually am. They’re lacking the level of detail and craftsmanship I associate with the brand seemingly in favour of block colours and suits and the issue is that the whole Disney Princess fantasy has always been the appeal for me because the silhouettes aren’t interesting enough on their own. They’re not ugly pieces, they’re nice, but does nice really have a place in high fashion when the pieces are so basic in both their design and presentation that the shots could pass as ripped from a catalogue? The strongest parts of the collection were when it did go down the more delicate route with the muted blue suits and the white feather trimmed dresses, the small, ornamental gold details reminding me of a very toned down nod to Schiaparelli’s hardware, but with regards to the bright coloured pieces, I can’t lie-they did look like something you could find in the M&S Per Una holiday section. Then you’ve got the weakest parts, which were just flat out ugly: sheer giraffe print, sweat band style elasticated waits, and long chiffon shirts that I hate to admit read as frumpy. There are times where I’ve not been particularly excited by an Elie Saab collection in the past, but I do think this is the first time I’ve actively disliked parts of it.

Conversely, Erdem’s S/S21 collection was super strong, and solidified the brand’s place in my mind as a dependable source of kooky maximalism, this time round giving us Anya Taylor Joy’s Emma wardrobe on speed. You could tell me Erdem Moralıoğlu had just raided the Bridgerton set’s fitting rooms and put it on a runway and I would 100% believe you and I mean that in a positive way because to give my unpopular opinion, the clothes were the only good thing about that show. The endearingly florid details of exaggerated bows and clashing florals were still there but this time in a way that felt more subtle and self-assured, as if the calming influence of the wooded set’d had a direct hand in the designs, giving the rugged, ethereal feel to the collection I associate with brands like Brock and Simone Rocha, all whilst keeping the parts of Erdem I’m so fond of.

Is it really much of a shock that I included pretty much every look from the Etro S/S21 show? Like, you know that Christian idea of God, like, (the voice in my head is very much taking on the dumb valley girl voice that anybody who reads this is most probably getting too) knowing our souls? I think Veronica Etro knows mine. So no, no surprise. Though there were a few unconventional touches thrown into these looks (the campier prints and nautical theming we see with the 80s beach towel print, for example, reminded me a bit of Versace) the mystical bohemian it girl that Etro designs for would still be highly satisfied. Sure, it might be a wardrobe fit for a holiday less adventurous than backpacking but if she wanted a tropical poolside holiday, this collection is the one, the paisley print chiffon mini and maxi dresses especially. I’m just gonna pretend I don’t see the monstrosity that is leggings worn as trousers-it’s a fashion rule I refuse to abandon-because they are the only stain on an otherwise expectedly gorgeous collection.

Next, an unusually reserved RTW collection from Fendi:

More in line with the wardrobe of a European fashion editor than the glamorous trophy wife (who let’s say uses that facade as a guise to ruthlessly run her husband’s whole business empire from behind the scenes because in this house we do complex female characters only), these pieces are lot “smarter” and more professional looking than Fendi’s typical offerings; where I feel Fendi usually designs for the society girl who wouldn’t mind a front page scandal, these are the kind of outfits a young member of Monaco’s royal family would wear for a positively received but business-as-usual press tour. I know, Fendi is an Italian brand, but this is more Southern France to me. We’re talking some 2nd page shots of a Kate Middleton type on a yacht on the Riviera smiling and waving as her PR team’s ideal scenario. Still, whilst fewer exaggerated silhouettes, animal prints and overtly luxurious fabrics (real leathers, silks and furs for example) mean that the drama’s a little toned down, it’s all still very expensive looking and combines the classically feminine glamour of the past and the minimalism of modernity in the artful manner that we’re used to. Maybe it’s me being a basic bitch but I always love seeing Ashley Graham on the runway too, even if brands to tend to use her as their single token plus size model.

Kim Jones’ debut haute couture collection for Fendi, however, wasn’t a very well received one. I don’t hate it personally but I can see where the criticisms are coming from. Whilst it’s closer to the version of Fendi I’ve come to expect and there were some stunning pieces which completely encapsulated that distinctive aura of luxe and glamour, there were quite a few lazy pieces which could’ve been from any designer. I also felt the collection was a bit upstaged by what seemed to be a who’s who of the modelling world; having Bella, Cara, Kate and Naomi ALL walk in one show was a bit distracting and took the focus off the clothes completely.

Giambattista Valli’s RTW collection was gorgeous as ever; the man has undeniably mastered the art of delivering classic, objective elegance, the kind of designs I feel would make you light on your feet and smell like strawberries and cream the minute you put one on. Whilst as a brand his RTW shows are rarely trendsetting, they reliably produce a plethora of unfailingly graceful and demure pieces, as appealing to your mum and your grandma as they are to young women and little girls, and this collection is another victory lap for Valli when it comes to upholding his signature tea party and artisan cupcake making and rose garden strolling and bottomless rosé brunch appropriate aesthetic. There were a lot of outfits that were bordering on overly juvenile, with structures a little too basic to justify the amount of sequins thrown on, but when it’s good, it’s so sweet that regardless of how to formula it is, I can’t help but fall in love.

Valli’s haute couture collection was stunning too and for sure a more exciting offering than the RTW. There was of course a lot of the signature tulle but it was head-turning, over the top in a way that leant far more towards the experimental than I expected. The photos themselves are 100% believable as a some kind of Vogue behind the scenes editorial shoot on the set of live action Disney princess movie (in between takes of the climactic ball scene if you wanna get specific with the vision); if you are looking for a prettier alternative to the primary colours and disruptive shapes of a Molly Goddard collection, this is the one. It’s giving the themes of excess and abundance I associate with that of the Hunger Games Capitol but through the softer lens of a Sofia Coppola movie, and being the typical cinema loving white girl I am, I’m obviously on board with that vibe.

I did SUCH a 180 on Givency’s S/S21 collection from when I first saw it to writing a review. My initial reaction was one of disappointment, I guess simply because Givenchy has given us so many bold pieces and presentations over the last few years whereas this is more low-key. After properly considering it though as I would any other brand, I came to the conclusion that I do actually really like it. It’s still got the strange, androgynous silhouettes popping up throughout and the futuristic space-age details but with a more down-to-earth, streetwear feel, albeit a very slick, glossy spin on the trends of the rabble (that’s us guys) of course before we go believing it’s achievable. On the one hand, the devil horn accents are a touch Claire’s accessories halloween range but at the same time, done with confidence they’re kind of cool and bring something new and fun to the table in line with the dark theatre of Givenchy’s last few shows.

Now for Gucci, which for the first time I have to say, if I'm attempting objectivity, is not a standout.

Like, can I just start by saying though the format it’s presented in is cute, it’s not ideal as a way of actually showing the collection. I get that the vintage shop bin vibe is a huge part of Gucci’s brand but polaroids make it SO hard to actually see the clothes, and that’s what we’re here for right? I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t like what I see here-the clothes are gorgeous, an idyllic ode to the off-duty wardrobes of Studio 54-ers, bohemian style icons like Charlotte Rampling and young Olivia Newton-John, psychedelic rock guitarists and the inhabitants of San Fransisco’s Haight during the late 60s and early 70s, Alessandro Michele’s favourite period of reference. I can’t pretend otherwise, or act like I wouldn’t want to wear the shit out of this collection. Buut, for Gucci? It’s a little underwhelming. These are the kind of filler looks we get in a typical Gucci show to go alongside the more statement pieces, which this collection is lacking. It’s just that these are designs which usually gets people talking and these pieces don’t do that. It sucks because for most other brands this would be a stand out collection, an immersive, luscious vignette of what people tend to think of as a cultural golden era, but when you’ve had a show that involved models carrying replicas of their own decapitated heads down the runway in the last 5 years, of course something more toned down like this is gonna generate a lot of “is that it?”s.

I owe Hermes an apology. Looking back, I have disliked all their previous collections for the same reason that I now really like this one; maybe it’s in part down to the frustration of still having to whack out the winter coat on occasion in May (fuck British weather and climate change), but suddenly I really appreciate the value of some good quality, versatile outerwear. Hermes is giving us that in spades here and for that, I bow down to them. The pieces on offer are clearly well-made and genuinely practical, and through the minimalist approach manage to retain both an air of timeless sophistication whilst also being youthful and on trend. The leather tactical vest co-ord I can easily see edged up and taking centre stage on one of those insane Seoul street style slow-mo TikToks that were big a couple of months ago and there are several pieces that could tie together a grunge influenced k-style look just as well as they could exist for years on end as the wardrobe staple of a high-powered businesswoman. Designer Nadège Vanhee-Cybulski’s strengths really come through with the simpler looks and it’s the patterned pieces that drag down an otherwise flawless collection; I guess because the aesthetic is very minimalist, the patterns can’t be anything overly decorative but unfortunately this has a bit of a dowdy effect when you pair it with such modest silhouettes. Disregarding those elements of the collection though, it was super good.

It goes without saying that Iris Van Herpen’s haute couture collection was breathtaking; if the fashion community can agree on anything, it’s that this woman’s work is consistently awe-inspiring. She captures the wonder of the universe, the biological structures and kaleidoscopic colours we don’t even register, through fashion in a way that others can only imitate, to mesmerising, truly transcendent effect; I can only assume Van Herpen has mother nature whispering into her ear because how the hell else do you explain her ability to take the kind of microscopic organisms they show you images of in an outdated GCSE science powerpoint and make a dress that resembles one so stunning? Care to explain, Iris? Because if there is some kind of line of communication between the two of you can you please tell the bitch I’m over this weather and that I have cute summer outfits I’m waiting to wear so can she pack this torrential rain shit in? K, thanks xoxo

See it seems shady as fuck to go from IVH to Isabel Marant like this because we are talking 2 designers with totallyyyy different approaches to fashion; Iris Van Herpen is haute couture for starters whereas Marant is commercial, and that’s her thing, but unfair comparisons aside this collection is still a bit of a let down. This is considering I do usually really like Isabel Marant collections based on whether or not I’d wear the pieces, which seems a more appropriate barometer to use to come to a quality verdict. Whilst there were a few of the elegant bohemian pieces my mind goes to when it comes to her brand, the steps outside of that comfort zone didn’t pay off; graffiti print (can be cool if done with some subtlety which apart from a few exceptions was not the case here), cheap looking reflective fabric, and MC Hammer style dungarees, it seems to be an attempt to merge 80s trends with modern urban culture, and an attempt that at times verged on the disastrous. It’s good for a brand to experiment, of course, and appeal to a wider client base than usual, but when it’s bad the unfortunate take away is that the design team don’t have the chops to pull off straying from familiar territory; designers wouldn’t be showing at fashion week if this was truly the case because disregarding the influence of nepotism, fashion is an area you need real talent, perseverance and business smarts to excel in, and so it doesn’t do a team justice when they do fail.

J.W Anderson, on the other hand, really put his best foot forward this season and presented this work in a really cool way too which only added to the positives; whilst the way the shots were edited was funky af, it didn’t detract from the actual outfits, and if we are to see the same limitations when it comes to the F/W collections being released, this is something a lot of designers and editing teams should take note of. The idiosyncratic exaggerated shapes that we see as a recurring feature of Anderon’s collections were still on show but this time round with added femininity, billowing skirts and trailing jewellery that channel the stage looks of Stevie Nicks in a way that’s modern and functional and maybe even fit for the office if you were to work in a more creative industry with a chill boss. Could also work for a coven of witches who practice meditation by bonfires in the moonlight and burn the letters of men who wronged them in some Arizonian desert, so like I said, functional! Who doesn’t like versatility? The only thing I’m not too keen on is the shoes but they’re not so bad that it affects my opinion of the collection and they look comfy I guess.

Lastly, we’ve got to talk about Jacquemus, one of the most influential names in fashion at the moment. And yes, this time round, I’m doing it: I’m buying into the hype.

This collection is gorgeousss! I can see already that a lot of the recurring elements of the show are going to be big summer trends for this year (the cut outs and strappy details on the blouses are everywhere already) even though it isn’t hot enough to have collectively decided the time to start dressing for heat is upon us yet, and that’s always a good indicator of how successful the designer was in their vision and attempts to assess the needs and wants of fashion enthusiasts; whether I’m as big a fan of his work as everyone else seems to be, there’s no denying Simon Porte Jacquemus has always excelled at this practice if the buzz around him is anything to go by. It makes sense given the last year of us all being stuck in and suppressed that a lot of us are already romanticising the summer ahead, anticipating picnics and beach days and general Theresa May running through wheat fields type shenanigans galore, in spite of how dubious an assumption it is to make that British weather will allow for this; Porte Jacquemus has very much catered to this wishful thinking and the popularity of the whole escapist “cottage core” aesthetic, sexing it up a little bit with pieces that hug the body in ways only Mugler knows how whilst being lightweight and relaxed enough to look good with windswept, sandy hair and a little dose of sunburn. I’m talking enough to give you some cutesy freckles and rosy cheeks not PSA on the importance of suncream territory, guys, what is it with those of us on the gen Z/millennial cusp not taking sun damage seriously!? Why do I have to beg so many of my friends to wear it!? Does nobody else remember those photos they’d show you in PSHE in English primary schools of burnt people’s skin under UV lights? Or is that just me being weird and only having such a vivid memory of the images because teachers told us we had to wait until year 6 to see them due they to their “graphic” nature only for my gore-loving self to be extremely underwhelmed when we finally did get that lesson? They showed us a woman giving birth in year 4 for fuck’s sake. THAT was traumatising.

Back to the actual point anyway, with just a couple of negatives, the first of which being that the pieces are very similar to those feminine looks we saw dotted about the Jacquemus menswear collection from last year that were all over fashion Twitter. In Simon Porte Jacquemus’ defence though, it makes sense that those tones and silhouettes would be revisited in a full womenswear collection for that very reason; considering they went down so well and that lockdown gave us a bit of a half-baked summer in 2020, expanding on those elements enough for a whole new collection makes good business sense. We did get some cool additions too, mainly in the form of accessories, with the hardware details on the belts similar to those included in the Givenchy collection and the abstract hair slides being standouts for me. It was all exquisite-the shoes, the jewellery, the styling, everything 10/10. My other nitpick, and I say nitpick not because it’s not important but because it’s an issue that’s hardly restricted to Jacquemus (this casting team are far from the worst offenders, Saint Laurent I’m looking at you), is that I WISH we’d see more diversity with the models. Despite what my body dysmorphia yells at me, I am small, and yet seeing all those fucking minuscule waists made me die a little inside; it’s crazy to me that in 2020 the lack of variety in body types on the runway is still such a problem.

I must have said this a million times but I don’t want to end on a negative note so let me reiterate: this collection was STUN. NING. Plus there were some others I’ve talked about in this post that I’m sure will make it into my top 20 in the final part, Jacquemus, Dion Lee and Etro for sure; we even got some gorgeous pieces from Maria Grazia which I thought was a sentence I’d never type out. Have I said enough to not leave a bad taste in the mouth of anyone who read to the end of this post? I hope so, lol! TBH, it’s impressive given everything that’s going on that the majority of designers did roll out collections in September as usual so serious respect to them and their design teams for that.

In the next post, I’ll fingers crossed be able to include everything from Kim Shui (exciting!) through to at least Off-White (actually pretty good this time?!) and make this whole thing a 4 parter before getting straight on top of the photo posts I’m thinking about doing for the time being for the F/W21 shows. So as usual, if you did read to the end thank you so much and I respect the perseverance you must have to get through all my rambling, lmao. Hope everyone is well and coping okay and again, my inbox is always open for any post suggestions, constructive criticism, or just a chat for anyone who needs a listening ear.

Big love and thank you again!

Lauren x

8 notes · View notes

e-vasong · 4 years ago

Note

Can I ask about your writing process?

Huge fan of your TUA fics here - the way you just GET the characters is incredible - its almost like reading a novel written by the actual show writers!

How do you go about your characterisation and your drafting process? Any tips on nailing the complexities of the characters (specifically five)?

Thanks!!!

:') This is literally so nice I don't know how to respond, oh my goodness. I wish I had, like, life-altering writing wisdom for you here, but I honestly feel like my entire process is kind of a mess. I'll share it with you anyways, though, just in case you can glean anything helpful from it. I’ll tuck it below a cut, but here it is (ft. some of my specific characterization notes on Five, since you asked :D).

Pre-draft: Concept stage! This can be a variety of things -- sometimes it's a specific scene. For me it's usually a challenge of some sort. I like to take things that I think are unlikely for a character (under what circumstances would [x] character ever become a bad guy? How would [x] character’s secrets get revealed if they never talk willingly about their emotions?) Then I build out from there. I outline sometimes now, but I’ve been winging all my pieces for so long that it’s pretty tough for me.

Draft one: Throw things at the wall. If I let myself, I will spend way too long agonizing on making every word perfect on the first go around, and I’ll never write anything. So draft one has permission to be as bad as it needs to be: sentence fragments, OOC dialogue/actions, clunky word choice, the whole nine yards. The most important thing is getting the words/scenes on the page.

Draft two: What sticks? Everyone is different -- I find it easier to edit than to write in the first place. So here’s where I look over my work from draft one. Is my sentence structure variable enough? How are their voices? Their actions? Does the narration work with the POV I’m using for the scene?

Like, okay. I’m working on chapter two of the end of the war right now. Currently, it includes this line:

“How did you even—” Five starts, then shakes himself. Absolutely not. He isn’t entertaining this. “Luther.”

In retrospect, I’m not wild about it. It doesn’t sound in character to me. I’m not pulling out receipts right now or anything, but the more I think about it, the more that I feel certain that Five rarely expresses surprise unless really shocked. Part of this is likely the contrast between him in his siblings (all the stuff about the Apocalypse and time travel is familiar to him and new to them, so the show has a lot of “Five explains [x] to his siblings while they look flabbergasted by him.”)

Anyways, it doesn’t sit right. So maybe, instead:

Five frowns, taken off guard. He could ask, but--quite frankly--he’s starting to think that he doesn’t want to know. He does, however, know what this is a preface to -- Luther is going to meddle.

“Luther,” Five says it like a warning. Luther either doesn’t hear it or doesn’t care.

Anyways, rinse and repeat step two as much as necessary, and you basically have my entire drafting process.

Characterization, though, I have a more thorough process for!

Fanon and meta is super, super helpful, but I definitely prefer to look at canon first and foremost. I find it easiest to build characterization by asking myself questions about the character! I mean, don’t get me wrong. The first step is just to...get your own read on their personality? And there’s no trick to that. Everyone comes away from watching a show/reading a book with a slightly different interpretation of a character’s personality. But when building off of that to write them, I find questions helpful. They vary from fandom to fandom, but, like, here are some of the questions I’ve asked myself while writing Five.

What motivates them? For Five, this is a super easy one. He literally says it at multiple points throughout the show. He’s motivated by his family. To the point of wanting to save the world because they’re a part of it. Five troops through injury and pain and discomfort, but one reference from Handler about a deal to save his family is enough to coerce Five into 1 - working with her when he doesn’t want to and 2 - taking a job that he doesn’t seem like he wants to take.

How far are they willing to go to get it? For Five, he’s willing to do pretty much anything.

Are there any contradictions in their characterization? This is a weirdly specific question, but! People are inherently contradictory. Sometimes in TV or movies or books, it’s just bad writing. But sometimes it’s because people are complicated. So, in TUA, Five is consistently a big-picture thinker throughout the series. He seems to view his job at the Commission with apathy because he knows that it’s part of maintaining the timeline and necessary for him to get back home and stop the Apocalypse. He plans to kill an innocent person because he believes the butterfly effect of their death could stop the end of the world. He is, in many ways, a utilitarian -- the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. The greater good sometimes requires a lesser evil. Pull the lever in the trolley problem, and kill the one to save the five. Unless that one is one of Five’s siblings.

For instance, his dialogue with the Handler in season one seems to imply that he is willing to give up fighting the Apocalypse if and only if she can guarantee his siblings’ safety (though this admittedly turns on how honest you think he was being with her -- I think he was honest, but smart enough to know she’d never follow through, but a fair argument can be made either way.) There are a million ways to read this, and the fun of playing with characterization is that you get to experiment with them! I read it as proof that Five is so driven by his desire to save his siblings that he actually places their wellbeing above his own moral compass (whether his moral compass is right or wrong is a whole other debate.)

What are they like at their best vs. at their worst? At his best, Five is strategic, driven, independent, determined, loyal, and protective. At his worst, he’s controlling, suspicious, bloodthirsty, temperamental, and obsessive. Of course, most people don’t just switch between these two extremes, and these traits frequently coexist, interact, and manifest in milder ways. Five being suspicious usually manifests as him being cautious until he’s confronted with a character (in season two, Lila) that strikes him the wrong way. Him being obsessive is often just a side product of the fact that he is determined, loyal, and protective. The fact that he can be controlling is connected to how independent he can be -- the same reason that Five tries to keep Diego in the mental hospital, never tells people that he’s injured, and hides things from them is the same reason he’s so quick and effective at getting things done. This is just a handy way of compiling a flaws/virtues list, and I like to look at it in terms of the potential extremes because I think it makes it easier to see how they interact to create the middle ground where the character actually exists.

How do they talk? Arguably the most important question for actually getting their voice, and the easiest way to nail this down is to just...look at the canon dialogue. Does the character use really big words? Do they talk in long gusts or in short, clipped sentences? Do they use contractions more or do they not shorten things? This is the hardest part of writing Five for me, because my first impulse is to make him talk like an Intellectual (tm) and Very Erudite Adult. Like, I default to that when writing him, and it’s a horrible habit (in my opinion) because...while he does speak that way sometimes (usually when explaining things to his siblings) that’s not actually how he talks most of the time. (Like, for instance, I tend to default away from Five using contractions in my first drafts of things. He actually uses contractions a lot, and frequently shortens words--”got to” is “gotta” for Five, “because” becomes “‘cause”, etc.)

Other examples:

Five: Billions of people are about to die tonight. You can change that.

The Handler: Tonight, tomorrow. So little difference in the scheme of things. Don't you remember the Commission's raison d'etre? What's meant to be is meant to be, or, as I like to say, que será, será.

Five: It's bullshit in any language.

I love this exchange so much :D. And it establishes some great things about the way Five talks! He doesn’t dance around the issue or debate her or try and prove her wrong. He just tells her he thinks that that opinion is dumb, obviously. He’s blunt, straightforward, and honest. (This seems to tie into the thing I was saying about Five and contractions -- he picks the most straightforward way of saying things unless he’s giving a technical explanation.)

Five: Okay, Luther, but be careful. I mean, I've... I've lived a long life, but you're still a young man. You got your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it.

Five talks like an old man. Not all the time (though there’s a wonderful gif set out there somewhere of Five using old timer slang -- wait, I found it here.) He doesn’t use the old-timey slang all the time -- and I personally like the idea of mixing up Five’s slang habits and including slang from all sorts of eras because he’s a time traveler whose primary source of interaction after four decades alone was other time traveling assassins. But! He also talks in a way where he shows his age.

Regardless of where you think Five’s psychological age falls (I have my own Opinions on this), he seems to unilaterally view himself as the Big Sibling, and by a very large margin at that. That’s reflected in how he talks. Not always, since not every line of dialogue is relevant to his age. But stuff like this, or related to it, crops up a fair amount. He counsels his siblings on their problems (as when he comforted Diego post-Eudora’s death), and there are little moments like the quote above, where the point is that Five has indeed seen many more years than his siblings and has the perspective to reflect that.

Well, this is way too long now, and it’s really late where I’m at. I feel like the comprehensibility of this post has been steadily declining the whole time, but if other writers have tips that they want to add onto this, please go ahead!

#asks #writing #writing advice #which im not super qualified to give haha so! again #if anyone else has tips and tricks they want to add #esp if you're familiar with five like anon is asking!#feel free to chime in

29 notes · View notes

woah-were-halfway-there · 5 years ago

Note

Can you write a little fluffy piece of you and Auston in present time with being separated because of covid and all

Here you are my dear! It turned out longer than anticipated but oh welllll

Word count: 1.7k

Quarantine sucks, to put it simply. Places are closed, events have been cancelled, everyone is expected to stay home unless it’s essential to leave, and to make it all worse, you and Auston are spending it in different countries.

A week after the NHL announced the suspension of the remainder of the season, Auston flew back to Scottsdale. Seeing as this was before things got too intense, you still had to work and insisted that he go without you. Your office had plans to shut down by the end of that week as a precaution for the pandemic. After that, you knew you would be off for at least two weeks, so the plan was for you to fly to Scottsdale to be with your boyfriend then; but that never happened.

The severity of the situation got real bad real fast, and you were no longer able to travel. Therefore, you ended up having to stay in Toronto alone.

Auston remembers getting the text saying you had cancelled your flight as if it just happened yesterday. He had just woken up, that three-hour time difference between the two cities not helping the situation at all, and was quick in calling you to ask why.

“Aus, you should see the news,” you explained to him. “It’s a whole mess out there, and it only seems to be getting worse. Places are closing down, people are buying ridiculous amounts of toilet paper, and the government is advising that people don’t travel. Trudeau is closing the border, babe. I want to be there with you; I really do. I miss you so much already, but I don’t think I should leave Toronto just yet. Surely, this won’t take too long to blow over, and I’ll be there sooner than we both know it.”

Clearly, that was a bold assumption for you to make because over two weeks have gone by, and the two of you are still separated.

Auston still cannot get over the fact that you got stuck, and alone of all things. He hasn’t stopped beating himself up over it either. In Toronto, you don’t have a roommate to hang out with, seeing as it’s just you and Auston that live in your unit, and that alone only has made him feel so much worse about everything.

With social distancing, you can’t just go over to Mitch and Steph’s like you usually would either. Although it’s gotten to the point where the two have invited you to just stay with them until this all blows over, you keep saying no out of fear that you may have come in contact with the virus and could pass it on to them. That just wouldn’t be fair.

So, all that you really can do now is suck it up and try to make the most out of your isolation, even though it’s really hard sometimes. And god, do you miss your people. Without there being much to do other than the odd thing for work; all you’ve done is clean the condo, get groceries when you need them, watch a lot of Netflix, talk with Steph all while trolling Mitch in the comments on his Twitch streams, and of course, FaceTime you boyfriend as much as possible.

Regardless of how hard you’ve tried, you just haven’t been able to develop a routine you feel motivated enough to stick to. It’s a depressing time. So, the fact that you’re flopped on your bed, staring at the ceiling, with a half-empty bottle of wine resting next to you on the bedside table, and Champagne Supernova blaring from your Bluetooth speaker late on a Friday night; really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. You’re in quarantine; you’re allowed to mope.

Completely and utterly bored with your current situation, you roll over onto your side to grab your phone and wine from the table. Ignoring the empty wine glass that was there too, you settle on taking a swig right from the bottle and smiling sadly at the adorable picture of you and Auston that’s set as your lock screen. The image was from last summer when the two of you were on vacation with his family and just makes you feel so warm and fuzzy on the inside, even though it makes you long for how easy times were before all of this.

Great, another wave of depression.

Shaking your head clear of the intruding thoughts that decided to creep into your mind, you unlock your phone and start scrolling through social media… again. After opening Twitter and quickly getting bored with the content on there, you move to Instagram to see what the people and celebrities you follow are up too on there, only to be met by a picture posted by your boyfriend as soon as the app loads.

“No, why!?” You groan and flop onto your back again dramatically. You’re lucky the bottle of wine you’re holding is almost gone, or else it probably would have spilt everywhere with your dramatics, which you’re aware of, but really couldn’t care less about. After a moment of just laying there in silence, you eventually sit back up to take another sip of wine before setting it on the table and unlocking your phone, so you can really take in this new picture.

Everything about the picture feels like a direct attack. Not only is the scenery stunning with the beautiful Arizona sunset in the background, the image also consists of Auston looking fine as hell, shirtless, wearing one of the many snapbacks he owns to keep his hair out of his face, all while supposedly ‘discovering portrait mode.’ Honestly, how dare he?

You just can’t seem to look away. It’s such a good picture and man does it make you miss him even more. Without giving it a second thought, you close out of the app and open FaceTime, suddenly overcome by an intense feeling of neediness.

Luckily for you, it doesn’t take long for him to answer the call.

“Hey, babe,” he greets before taking a sip of water and plopping down onto his couch. He’s still shirtless, wearing the same snapback, and the sun is still clearly setting out the large windows behind him, which makes it clear that this is a very new picture you just experienced, and you’re unsure if that makes you feel better or worse. “What’s up?”

“I miss you,” you pout and let out a sigh. “So much. And then you had to go and post that on Instagram, which was just rude on your part in complete honesty.”

“Sorry,” he chuckles and shakes his head while you roll your eyes at him. “I miss you too. How was your day?”

“Kind of not great,” you tell him honestly. “I’ve been feeling pretty down.”

“Ah, so that’s why I can hear Oasis playing.”

“They’re on my sad girl hours playlist, alright? What do you want from me?”

“I know they are,” he laughs again, but it isn’t long until his expression grows serious. “And nothing, other than for you to talk to me about what’s bugging you. What’s going on?”

Damn, he knows you well and is so good at easing into these types of conversations.

“It’s just,” you start and take a deep breath in hopes the tears you already feel pricking your eyes don’t decide to overflow. “I miss you, and our friends, and how life was before all of this. I know it’s only been two weeks, but Aus, I feel so alone. And don’t you dare try to blame yourself for that, ok? You’ve done so much for me already even though you’re so far away and honestly, just talking with you helps a lot. It reminds me that I’m not alone. That there’s a lot of people out there who love and care about me, it just sucks so bad being stuck here and it’s messing with my mental health quite a bit.”

“I know, babe, I know,” he soothes and lets out a sigh. “I want nothing more than to be with you right now. Whether that be here or there, I wouldn’t care. I just miss you so much, and I’m so sorry you’re feeling the way that you do. I know that me telling you all of this may not mean much seeing as I’m in a different freaking country, but I mean it. I love you and am always here to talk if you want to.”

Now you’re crying.

“I love you a whole lot.”

“Oh, no, please don’t cry, I-,” he apologizes, but you just shake your head.

“No, it’s ok,” you tell him and use the sleeve of his Maple Leafs sweater you’re wearing to wipe away the tears that broke free. “It feels good to let it all out, you know? Thank you for making me feel comfortable enough to do that.”

“Of course, anytime,” he assures you softly. “I’m always here. And I hope you know that as soon as we’re out of this, you’re not leaving my side. If you thought you could get sick of me before, just wait until we’re back in the same place together.”

“I could never get sick of you, Aus,” you chuckle and shake your head at how dramatic he’s being.

“If quarantine has made me realize anything, it’s never to take the time I get with you for granted ever again,” he explains, making your heart swell with affection. “I mean it.”

“I know,” you reply and smile at him. “The feeling’s mutual. I can’t wait to see you in person again.”

“Me neither. Going to hold on to you a little tighter, that’s for sure.”

He goes on to ask about the positives of your day, and you spend the next little bit telling him all you’ve accomplished in your free time and asking him about his day. After a while of chatting with your boyfriend, you eventually crawl into bed while remaining on the call, and attempt to watch an episode of Ozark together.

You end up falling asleep while on FaceTime, and Auston can’t help but smile at the peaceful image of you sleeping on his phone screen. Knowing he should probably start getting ready for bed soon too, Auston quietly reminds you that he loves you and hangs up before sending you a sweet text to wake up to and forcing himself to think about how all of this will be over soon and he’ll be back with you in no time.

#nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #auston matthews #nhl imagine #auston matthews fanfiction #nhl writing #auston matthews imagine #hockey imagines #nhl headcanon #auston matthews imagines #hockey fanfiction #nhl rpf #hockey rpf #toronto maple leafs imagine #1-s

220 notes · View notes