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sergiusreports · 2 years

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Accelerating Change

It was dark by the time I had made it to this lonely corner of the Shroud. Most people weren’t stupid enough to venture this deep into the forest. They left it alone. They’d say it was infested with sylphs. Infested. Like it wasn’t the other way around. Twin Adders’ didn’t patrol here. Even the clans steered clear. It didn’t take long to figure out why. There was a strange energy that hummed in the air. The kind that would give spoken goosebumps. All I knew was that it dampened any sort of signal. I could get a read on my network but it was spotty. Constantly dropping in and out. Right now, that was fine by me. I didn’t come out here to stay in touch with whatever shitstorm was happening at Heartwood and I had let Zephyr know it was only temporary. The last thing they needed was another bot dropping communication on them unexpectedly.

The moonlight punched through the thick canopy in places, enough to intermittently wash out my night vision but not enough to switch fully back to standard mode. In the crook of my arm I held all that remained of Bellator. A grooved, synthetic auracite core. Because in the end, that’s all we were. Put us into whatever framework or chassis you wanted. It was all window dressing. Like how a child plays dress up with dolls.

I sound glib. I’m not. All the way through tracking Crific, through meeting him, through taking the core Haila had entrusted to him and now traipsing through this thicket, I feel…shit, too much. Emotions that haven’t been cataloged yet and some that have. Anger. That’s number one. Right at the top of the list. Heaps of useless hellish anger but even I can parse that’s an umbrella. Covering over other things I don’t want to analyze.

I’m getting closer to my destination. A few of the sylph duck out from the trees and come to investigate. I’m not concerned. They’ve known me a long time.

“Broken one.” one of them greets me. That’s the name they saddled me with when I first came here. I was damaged. It’s stuck. Or maybe they feel it’s still applicable, who the hell knows. Tonight, they wouldn’t be wrong.

“This one thinks it’s strange to see you again so soon.”

“Strange and unplanned.” I concur. If that wasn’t the tag line for my existence, I don’t know what was.

“What did Broken one bring the sleepless ones?” Another asked as they swooped down and landed on the rippled surface of the core. Tiny, twiggy fingers run along the undulating grooves as if trying to solve a puzzle.

I don’t brush them away. They’ve done too much for me. “Someone who’s been hurt.”

“Broken like Broken one?”

“Let’s hope not.”

They keep up a steady stream of chatter as they hitch a ride all the way to the black site. Just before I activate the lift hidden under a layer of moss and forest debris, they float off in the night. Happy to let me get on with whatever I was doing. I’m lucky. Sometimes they can be worse. The lift lowers me into the underground bunker.

When I had constructed it, Garlean architecture was what I knew. Maybe in some twisted way I wanted the perverse comfort of the hydraulic lift lowering me down to the thick metal walls below like it had hundreds of times before in the research facility. It was familiar when everything around me was not. Now though, something unidentified churns through my neural net. The fact that I’ve felt it before isn’t enough to save it from being unknown. I’m really shit when it comes to doing the work of cataloging these things. Right now, I try. I stand there on the lift and try to put some descriptors to it. It felt dense. Lines crossed and synesthesia took over. It tasted green. Looked dark, like a low, vibrating wave of sound maddeningly off pitch. Something to be ejected. My vocab subroutine found several possible entries. I settled on loathing. This was loathing. For this place. For Florus. For myself.

Backburning emotions was not as easy as backburning system alerts and protocols, I had learned. They could hang around for an annoying amount of time before dissipating. I still hadn’t figured out the ruleset which determined exactly how long. Sometimes they were nothing more than a flash, other times they seemed like they had got caught in a neverending feedback loop and stalled. Except there was no end program function.

Signals didn’t get out of this place. They didn’t get in, either. I was invisible here. The trade-off was I was also deaf, dumb and blind as any spoken without my network. LAN only. I went from, on average, twenty streams of input cut down to just one. I couldn’t see behind me without turning my head. It was weird and I didn’t like it. But it was safe.

Lights flickered to life as the sensors picked up my presence and lit up the station like a fucked up ‘welcome home’. I made my way across the room to the massive terminal and set Bellator carefully down on the steel surface. Now what?

I didn’t have an end game here. They were child A.I. And maybe they would grow quickly and exponentially, the way all tech advanced but what did I know about serving as a stand-in parental unit? I was a combat bot. All I knew was that I sure as hell wasn’t taking Bellator back to Heartwood. I’d be an idiot. And after hearing what Crific had to say, it was bad enough I had to leave Zephyr there. Sitting on the edge of the terminal, next to the core, I stared out across the bunker.

Action hadn’t worked last time. I jumped the gun, raced ahead and acted. And in the end? They were slaughtered. Every single one of them. Injured, women, children. It hadn’t mattered. There was no limit to the atrocities spoken will inflict on each other. A carousel of misery. The shittiest festival ride.

So this time, I had told myself not to act. To watch. To wait. Observe. Inaction. And here we are. Most of the A11Ys destroyed. Bellator was saved only by Haila’s quick thinking. Zephyr had lost core memories. Because I let myself believe what Florus had said and never projected he’d do this. What the hell was wrong with me?

Action. Inaction. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t get it right.

I turned to look down at the core. “I won’t let it happen again.” I told Bellator. Sure, I had not a damned clue how to do that but it was a binary decision. There were only two options. Everything else could be solved for as it happened. Like the big damned question about how to hide warmachina from the Alliance. I wasn’t Florus. I wouldn’t keep them grounded to a bunker. One problem set at a time.

I figured I could seat Bellator in the terminal for the time being and at least set up a feed between us. If I brought a drone, they could patch into that on the LAN as well. It would have to do for now. I needed a few things first.

When I emerged from the bunker and ventured out of the depths of the Shroud I had a priority message pinging back from Aislinn’s terminal. Short and to the point.

//Where are you? The Ironworks is coming to take Zephyr.//

The fuck they were.

#ffxiv rp #balmung rp #Atreus Sergius #This was not in the plan

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goldafterglow · 4 years

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The scent (cologne, body wash, sweat, etc...) for each of the above listed man's, and why you think so. 💋

A/N: This is such an interesting prompt. Thanks for the thought generator anon💕 Also I just don’t even know what weird group of boys this is, I just know that I love them :)

Also some of these are literally just from my synesthesia like I can just smell these boys’ pictures; it’s ✨mental illness love✨

Send me headcanons!

Word Count: 862 bc ig I just don’t know how headcanons are supposed to work

Warnings: bad explanations lol, mentions of death

Carrillo:

so a bitch named @glowingpena made me realize that apparently Carrillo does smoke even though in my memory of the show he literally never touches a cigarette but whatever, I guess he smells pretty strongly of tobacco

Carrillo smells like a Dove soap bar. Not even men’s Dove, just like a normal ass bar of Dove soap because he doesn’t need men’s soap for everyone to know he is a man of authority. Idk what they had in the 80s, but this man uses a body wash to wash off his sins - even better if you do it for him because our beautiful baby needs a reminder that touch doesn’t always mean pain - and he smells strongly of it because he uses a lot of it. So he smells like that mild cinnamon-honey scent. I feel like Carrillo doesn’t really strike me as a cologne man because there’s a good chance he’s going to be getting sweaty that day anyway, but he does clean up.

Gustavo:

smoke and tobacco we been known

Gustavo just smells expensive. He’s got a lot of money to blow, and in the same way that it is very unlikely his wrist isn’t looking icey, his shelves are lined with luxury men’s cologne. If you were to bury your face in his neck and take in a lungful, you’d get Armani and cash. Also that bitter smell of gold from his chain if you’re close enough to him.

I don’t actually know how to place the scent of wealth. Men’s cologne scents are always weird, they’ll be like ✨night sky✨ or like ✨gravity✨ or some whack ass shit.

If we want a little of my bullshitTM: he smells like bad decisions and the rocks off the side of a river where he’ll leave you and your broken heart for one reason or another (probably bc he d*es but anyways)

Javier:

smoke again, I don’t make the rules I just enforce them

He smells like cheap cologne for sure. He puts a little bit on his collar, neck, and the insides of his wrists. And maybe he does the spritz and sashay

He picks his cologne carefully though. He smells like cloves and cardamon, a scent so spicy it stings your tear ducts but it’s good. Javier cares about how he presents, he just doesn’t really care about how much he paid for it.

He also smells faintly minty, like he was chewing gum a couple of hours ago, but never a couple of minutes ago. He strikes me as the kind of person that spends a solid 5-6 minutes brushing his teeth and staring at himself in the mirror.

And he definitely smells like super shitty instant coffee. It’s all they have at the embassy, and he’d probably lose his job if he didn’t overdose on caffeine some days.

Frankie:

this baby definitely smells not like laundry detergent but like dryer sheets. He just kind of smells clean. Especially if we’re talking post Colombia. He likes keeping it a little domestic after everything he’s been through, and for him doing the laundry makes him feel human.

He smells like sugar, like barbecue sauce. I just think that’s his natural scent. Like the sweetness of the icing on a cinnamon roll and peach cobbler on a summer day.

He smells like the leather of his pilot’s seat and a little bit metallic from leaning on the outside of his helicopter (since we’ve all decided that this muffin man gives copter tours for a living)

AND HE SMELLS LIKE DOG. He definitely strikes me as a dog man, and he always has a treat or two on the inside of his jacket pocket because he just can’t say no to his buddy, so that dog treat smell comes off sometimes.

Ezra:

Okay I’m going to try to not be canon here, because canonically bitch there’s just no way this man smells good. He’s literally in that fucking space suit all the time, and he gets so sweaty and worked up from digging. And he?? doesn’t shower?? Like there’s no shower in his tent, he can’t unsuit into a lake. Noncanon thots only.

I feel like Ezra’s natural scent is strong. The way freshly cut grass can hurt your eyes because it’s just filling up your senses and your pores to the brim until you hurt - he smells intoxicating.

He smells like books. If he had the chance to, he’d definitely stock up on his favorite literature, and the scent of the pages and the ink always seems to linger on him.

Whiskey:

He smells like smoke, but not like tobacco. He smells like charcoal and hickory and applewood. He’s a wooden man, and he just gives me wood vibes, you know?

He definitely throws some cologne on, and it’s gonna be a nice bottle too. He only owns one or two scents, but he makes sure he walks out of his home smelling like twine and spurs.

The felt from his Stetson. It smells intense.

Oberyn:

I never watched Game of Thrones but this man smells like sweat and fruit.

He is constantly eating (which is not my headcanon but I saw it somewhere and it makes a lot of sense), and the sweetness of grapes and berries gets on the skin of his chest.

And you can’t tell me this man isn’t always sweating. His pheromones poison the air before he even walks in.

When he bathes he smells like gold and expensive furs. A little bit like flower petals.

Max Phillips:

this idiot owns one (1) bottle of cologne and it cost him $3.5K

he fucking does it up with that shit literally catch him rubbing it like on his navel and his forehead like he’ll put it anywhere he will get his money’s worth before he ever admits that he got conned

On the bright side, he walks around smelling like a vanilla pod and grapefruit so maybe it was worth the investment????

He’s a vampire so when he doesn’t smell like luxury parfúm he smells like body wash because he doesn’t want to smell like human flesh and blood.

if anyone wants to be tagged in headcanons you can definitely ask, I just automatically assumed no one wanted to lmao. But tbh are these headcanons or a whole ass novel i can’t seem to distinguish the two

#iris answers #iris writes #headcanons #ok get ready for these tags #horacio carrillo #max phillips #oberyn martell #agent whiskey #ezra (prospect)#frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #francisco catfish morales #javier peña #gustavo gaviria #narcos

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simeonstans · 4 years

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OBEY ME BROTHERS AS CELEBRITIES

Sorry I haven't been active. Between schoolwork and just a lack of motivation and creativity, I really dont know what else I should've written. I'm sorry for abandoning this blog for a while haha.

LUCIFER

He's an actor. But later turned into directing and producing movies.

Has an entire room dedicated to his awards, one wall lined up with all his Oscars, Grammys, and Emmys.

Involved in plenty of rumors and scandals, usually where the media thinks he's dating an actor or found a non celebrity partner. But really, he asked them out to talk business.

Whenever he's acting, his character can go from the charming boy to the rich spoiled brat to even the badass detective. He's not a big fan of starring in hero or action movies with lots of effects. Nor directing those types of movies.

Directed a horror movie once and that quickly got taken out of movies for how scary they were. Psychological horror to the extreme.

His stans are usually rich and probably like Quentin Tarantino or Clint Eastwood. Lucifer has beefed with Woody Allen and his stans do as well. Truly iconic.

Philanthropist.

MAMMON

He's a model in canon but I feel he could also be a photographer.

He knows his aesthetics and has plenty of portfolios.

He's probably gonna act a lot smarter now that he's famous and knows plenty of people would want to scam him.

He does give out to charity sometimes but usually he models for campaigns or sells his pictures at auctions and donates away the money or a percentage of it.

Involved in some scandals but they're quickly debunked by his stans or his management. Nothing too bad, just a dating rumor that spirled out of control.

He does have a good relationship with his fans and likes to do podcasts or go on lives and interact and answer questions, even invites them on his lives to talk with them.

He's filthy rich and he dresses filthy rich. His style is very earthy and casual, but he does have that expensive Hermes™ watch and some Prada™ boots.

LEVIATHAN

He's a YouTuber. He also streams every Friday and Saturday from 10pm-6am.

He liked to cosplay but now that he gets invited to gaming cons and events, he probably doesn't have much time to make a good cosplay up to his standards so he'd probably wearing Tanjiro's earrings one day and then his Naruto jacket the next.

Whenever he goes to concerts, it's a thing that fans secretly take pictures of him if they're near him and there's plenty of content of him drooling over Zaramela.

There's YouTube compliations of him going shy whenever someone is nice to him or someone attractive goes near him.

Because he games a lot, he probably would sweat a lot if he becomes concentrated. So whenever he'd brush his hair back or put it in a ponytail, his stans go feral.

Don't mess with his stans, they're the type to call and email anyone so you have your life ruined. But I promise they're usually soft stans.

He dresses like the gamer boy of your dreams tbh.

SATAN

He's a painter.

The next Picasso. Van Gogh. Monet. He has talent.

Many would say he could be an author cause he reads but I headcanon he could have synesthesia. So whenever he'd read a book and go over a specific scene, it'd inspire him to draw or paint something.

If he's stressed, he plays classical music and paints whatever the music says.

He was probably a college student when this happened and he had a lot of paintings he didn't know what to do with, so he just sold them or gave him away to charities under a fake name.

Like some Hannah Montana shit, he lived a double life for a couple months and then he got outed by some journalist that was supposed to keep up with him.

He gets invited to plenty of events and has painted for celebrities and politicians. Despite that, he's probably the least popular of his brother's but his stans are very dedicated to him and surprisingly there's rarely any fights within.

He has money but the most expensive his he owns is a watch and his car. More dad or nerdy boyfriend type look.

ASMODEUS

Triple Threat. Model, actor, singer.

He frequently goes on tour and drops albums. His music ranges so one album can help you explore your sexuality when his next album mostly focuses on who he truly is and so on.

Like Lucifer, he has plenty of awards. Probably has starred in one of his productions, too.

Has collaborated with NikkieTutorials, Rihanna and her Fenty collection, Beyonce, the biggest stars you could think of. Whether music or beauty.

Has his own fashion line as well as his own perfume collection and beauty products. A good percentage does go to charities and organizations like homeless college students or pro-lgbt groups.

Has YouTube compliations of men having gay panics over him.

Has been involved in many scandals and relationships, but many wind up false. Surprisingly. He is honest, so he does confirm if there was any chemistry between him and someone else.

His stans are more open and accepting, they don't really attack you or ruin your life but they can damage your self esteem for good.

They've also trended "#AsmoIsOverParty" just to promote a new project from him.

BEELZEBUB

He's an athlete.

There's plenty of videos of him with his shirt off and he may seem scary to many people, he's our big puppy.

"Beelzebub being cute for 4 minutes and 48 seconds" compliations rival "Levi being shy as a serotonin boost" compliations

Has the most fans. He's mentioned wanting a family and being family oriented before which probably caused his fan base to expand.

If you don't understand the sport, older stans would explain it for you. He also made a YouTube channel where he posts videos explaining how the game works and the positions. There's 5 videos, each video almost an hour long. He hasn't updated his channel since then.

Has also starred in Lucifers movies and usually does his own stunts.

He only wears expensive shoes as long as they last long or are comfortable for him. He also sometimes buys expensive athletic wear but majority of the time he doesn't check how expensive it is as long as he's comfortable.

Every week, he posts a video of himself working out or making a healthy and inexpensive meal to promote a healthier lifestyle.

BELPHAGOR

Music producer.

Despite being known to nap a lot or to be in his room a lot, it's usually because he spends a lot of time making beats and working on lyrics.

He's collaborated with plenty of artists but usually collaborates with Asmo.

Belphie also has his own music company which Asmo is under. Of course there's other producers in so he works alongside them and other artists and he usually makes his own music or adds back vocals to some songs.

If you find the back vocals within it, he's usually growling or moaning. His voice is deep but it's very soothing.

His stans usually send him letters or ask Asmo how he's doing or if he's eaten yet. He is very respected and his stans are FERAL. No mercy, absolutely ruthless.

Once had his mixtape "leaked" by Asmo and it was on the charts for a good while and broke a record or two. He doesn't like talking about it much but he does appreciate it.

He doesn't dress up much but whenever he does, it's like he's a different persona.

#dhcjsj sorry this is gross #its 4am 😔#maybe i should do the other 5 characters dhfhdj #obey me #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me levi

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simpingforthisonedeer · 4 years

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Chapter 5: Knife To The Neck

Summary: The aftermath of an assassination attempt; Meet Arthur; Everyone's simping for Julius except Holly(she aint buying his shit); There's a world organization or two; oop there's fae and some more magic lore; what??? is?? Julius??; someone who likes to edge himself apparently; magic paintings and shit, man; also more forbidden magic shtuff :)))

Notes: There's NSFW Julius and Aika art under the "Julius & Aika" tag and julius thirst from urs truly on my page ;)))) This chapter was gonna be like 10k words long but i didn't wanna scare yall off so have half of it ;))) Oh, and uhhh most chapters will have some explicit here and sometimes the whole chapter will be explicit like the next chapter is going to be a fuckfest O.o (what did you think Julius meant when he said "hOlD mE") So, if you're not into that, I don't suggest reading this fic lmao but hey, if you are, please continue ;)))

“Oh my fucking god, we all nearly died.”

“Mom!” Holly threw her arms around Aika and buried her face in her neck. She wrapped her arms and held her daughter tightly as her head spun.

“I'm so sorry,” she whispered, holding back tears, further exacerbating the growing headache.

Julius kneeled next to the pair and laid a comforting hand on Aika’s head, unwilling to interrupt their moment.

“It’s okay, everyone’s fine,” Holly assured.

“Yes, but you had to—”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t actually scared. Remember what you told me? You told me to think logically if I ever feel scared and logically speaking, the moon is up tonight and dad would’ve been fine. The man needed me alive to leverage me so I would be fine too.”

“I think I would’ve felt better if you blamed me instead of growing up so quickly,” Aika grumbled.

Julius let out a laugh, drawing attention to himself. She untangled herself from Holly and scanned him for any injuries.

“Are you alright, Julius?”

He waved her off and rubbed his eyes. “Besides the impending headache from the monster of a report I would have to write, I’m fine,” He looked at them intently. “You all need a security detail if this really is a common occurrence.”

“Oh! That won’t work!” Holly piped up. “My dad and I don’t even live on this continent and mom’s always travelling or bothering Uncle Ray at work. It’s okay,” she gave him a thumbs up. “My mom can take care of herself. She’s really scary. My dad and her friends are too. That’s why you shouldn’t hold her hand. If anyone fin—”

“Holly!” Aika exclaimed in horror, her cheeks inflamed with embarrassment. She threw an apologetic look at Julius. “He’s a Magic Knight Captain. He can take care of himself.”

“Ohhhh. That’s why he smells so much,” she muttered to herself, nodding as if everything made sense.

“What!” Julius whipped his head around, trying to check himself.

“Holly, no!” Aika stifled her laughs as she tried to catch his attention.

“You don’t smell, Julius. My daughter has Magic Synesthesia. Please forgive her. She’s just trying to say you have a lot of mana.”

He let his jaw drop in awe. That was an incredibly rare and fascinating condition! People with Magic Synesthesia were incredibly sensitive to magic, detecting unique mana from incredibly long distances. In fact, the world’s most famous bounty hunters and trackers had some form of Magic Synesthesia.

“Wait, really?! Then what do I smell like?”

Aika was going to stop Holly before she said something offensive again but it was too late.

“You smell like a warm, jelly-filled pączki in the middle of a lightning storm. It’s a good smell. It’s cold and warm at the same time,” she sniffed and wrinkled her nose. “But it barely covers the whiskey smell.”

“Oh, that was what the sweet smell was,” Aika nodded to herself, not unlike her own daughter. She rather liked pączki…

Holly narrowed her eyes at her mom. She has good magic sense with her nose too but she has to be really close to smell something distinct like that. When did she get so close to him?

“WOW! That’s amazing, could you tell me—”

“I’m glad you lot are still alive.”

The trio turned towards the front of the house as a handsome, black-haired man with glittering, emerald eyes stepped into the moonlight as he rolled his bleeding shoulder with a groan. He tossed his braid behind him and raised his brows at Julius.

“Did that handsome Magic Knight over there take that assassin out?”

Julius blushed furiously as this man, whom he was assuming was Arthur, winked salaciously at him.

“Listen here, you useless himbo.”

Holly stifled her giggles as her mom tore into her dad. It would get funnier when she realizes he was drunk too.

“You had one job and that was to keep Holly safe. An assassin throws some iron at you and you fall like a bag of bricks? It’s a freaking miracle you’re still alive after all these years.”

Arthur shrugged and winced at the pain.

“Your concern is touching, but what can I say? The Gods don’t want me and the Devil isn’t done with me. I’ll live.”

Aika rolled her eyes as she stood up and Julius with her.

“But really, what happened to the assassin?”

Julius ran a hand through his hair as he spoke up.

“The assassin had explosive runes on his chest and inside of his mouth. He already activated the runes so Aika threw him high and I contained the explosion. It was the only way.”

“Woah, he has a nice voice too.”

Holly groaned internally. Not her dad too.

“Dad.”

“Sorry, that was rude.” Suddenly he was in front of Julius, bowing as he took his hand. “My name is Arthur. What’s yours?”

Aika slapped his hand away as Julius looked on in shock.

“Don’t answer that question, Julius,” she said seriously as she threw a warning look at Arthur’s way. He shouldn’t use his fae magic if he doesn’t want to bring unwanted attention to himself. With that sentence alone, she made sure Arthur knew Julius’ name indirectly and thwarted his plan to assume control of the unsuspecting man. Trust him to think with his dick.

Holly groaned out loud this time. She didn’t understand what the weird tension between the three was, but it was disgusting. She shook her head as she walked back into the house. She didn’t want to be there if they got worse.

Arthur’s eyes flickered up to his forehead where the star lay on his forehead in interest.

Is this the Time mage she was looking for?

His eyes slid down to Julius’ chest as he subtly reached out with his mana. He noticed that this man seemed to be hiding a significant portion of his mana and wore the Grey Deers crest.

Oh, lord. Is he that Magic Knight Captain?

“Holy shit, you’re that Captain no one knows the attribute about. Good thing that, considering the Pascere Syndicate went through so much effort to cover up Aika’s Time Magic,” he added.

“The Pascere Syndicate?” Julius frowned. He heard about them. “You mean the Assembly of Nations?” He knew he would have to attend at least one of their conventions after he gets appointed the Wizard King. It was a giant committee that sought to maintain peace, prevent magical wars and forbidden rituals on a global-scale that could destroy the world.

And wait, cover up Time Magic? How does he know that I have Time Magic?

“Yeah, them. You’ve been doing a good job of covering up your Time magic so far,” he said, looking pointedly at his forehead. “but please try not to catch any unwanted attention from the international community,” Arthur laughed nervously. The last time that happened...Oh, he did not want to think about it. He didn’t particularly care if there was another Time Mage, especially since it looked like Julius kept his low-key, but people who would want to use it for themselves often took down many in their path to get it.

Julius nodded hesitantly at the unexpected advice.

“I’ll keep that in mind...”

“What are you doing here in the countryside anyways? Isn’t there a war going on?”

“He was just escorting me home,” Aika said as glared at Arthur. She slowly wrapped a possessive arm around Julius’ waist. He looked at her with a pleased grin and pulled her closer to his side.

Arthur’s mouth dropped into an “o” when he realized what they were actually here for and threw a knowing smirk at them.

Seems like the Time mages are getting along quite nicely…

He laughed as he slapped Julius’ back jovially but immediately recoiled. He quickly covered that up as if he was rolling his shoulders at the expense of the sharp pain that shot through his body. He willed his beating heart to calm down as hysteria threatened to crawl up his buzzed brain.

What the hell was that?

“I’m so sorry, Julius,” Arthur stepped back with his arms raised. He nodded at Aika calmly, though his eyes were filled with no small amount of fear, hoping she would spot it.

She just threw a grateful look at him and shared a smile with Julius. Arthur’s shoulders slackened an inch when he saw genuine affection in their eyes. Oh. That was surprising...

But whatever it was, he needed to get Holly away from here. He needed to leave anyway due to the custody contract and someone will notice the assassin gone and will investigate. Whatever this Time mage was, he was trouble too.

“I’ll take Holly home and bring her around tomorrow afternoon,” he declared with forced nonchalance. “Holly!” he called out. “Come on, dear! We’re leaving!”

“Wait, I need a statement from you two,” Julius stepped forward officiously, choosing to ignore his bizarre behavior for now. He had noticed how Arthur let go of him and the way his eyes shook in their sockets as he looked at Aika as if to warn her. He seemed scared of Julius all of a sudden, but whatever it was, he needed to get a word from them before they leave. Plenty of time to investigate later.

“Could you please explain how a foreign assassin got to Hage?”

Aika reached out and touched Arthur’s arm to heal it. He smiled tightly as he answered,

“Holly and I were exploring the continent—because it was our week off,” Arthur quickly explained when Aika opened her mouth to berate him again. “and we were in the Spade Kingdom touring your alma mater,” He motioned at Aika. “when the assassin, who had been tailing us the whole time, finally found an opportunity. We realized too late and were going to teleport away but he caught up to us as we ported here and there was a little scuffle,” Holly jogged back to her father’s side, unamused. “I got injured, Holly was restrained and held hostage for approximately an hour, then you two came along and you know the rest of the story,” he finished as he rushed at the end. He really needed to leave. He was getting antsy to get Julius away from Holly.

“Ah, thank you, Arthur!” Julius took his hand and Arthur suppressed a shudder at the wave of goosebumps and unnatural cold followed by warmth that settled over him.

Julius raised an eyebrow at the way he tensed and the distinctly different mana he was giving off.

That’s very interesting...

“It was really nice meeting you two,” He expressed sincerely.

“Of course,” Arthur said lowly, injecting false flirtatiousness into his tone. He needed to stay in character.

“Aika, can I speak with you for a moment before we go?” His hand twitched as he reached for Holly. He didn’t want to leave her but he needed to avoid suspicion.

“Of course!” She turned to Julius and quickly pecked his cheek. Arthur’s anxiety shot up. “I’ll be right back Julius,” she said as he grinned sheepishly. Holly rolled her eyes at the display and crossed her arms across her chest.

Arthur squared his shoulders as Aika silently led them to a tree on the front yard. He needed to warn her.

She turned to him with a raised brow.

“Is everything alright?”

Arthur shot a cautious look at Julius. “No, it’s not. Your new boytoy isn’t human.”

She threw a sharp look at him. “First of all, don’t call him ‘my boytoy’ and second of all, what do you mean by that?”

“I mean that he doesn’t have a heart. His heartbeat is fake.”

“Oh, I knew that.”

“What? ”

Aika crossed her arms. “I had my lips to his pulse. His heart was supposed to be beating quickly at that moment, but at the speed he was going, he was either having a heart attack or he was orgasming,” she rolled her eyes. “But we got interrupted before we could even get that far. So yeah, his heartbeat is fake. So what? That doesn’t make him inhuman. His blood still flows, I can assure you that,” she added smugly.

Arthur shook as he stifled a smile. “Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that his mana is completely different from normal humans.”

She hummed thoughtfully. “Well, forbidden magic can make a human mana seem inhuman. He doesn’t have any weg,” her eyes widened. “But didn’t I say that the seal on my forehead could double as a seal for weg?”

“Forget about forbidden magic!” he hissed. “Okay, he’s not as straight-laced as he looks. Okay, whatever, but I know how forbidden magic feels like on a person. This isn’t forbidden magic, it feels more lighter, and it’s not elf magic either. What kind of magic allows you to not have a beating heart, and feel light and dangerous?”

Aika’s cheek twitched. “Fine,” she conceded. “I’ll keep an eye on him. But I think you’re worrying about nothing. He’s had many opportunities to cause any harm but he hasn’t. He was actually really gentle and vulnerable with me. He is also a respected Magic Knight who is on his way to becoming Wizard King.”

“I know and it looks like he may have some rather large skeletons in his closet.”

“Arthur, we all do,” Aika sighed heavily. “Look, he is good. I can assure you that. You know what he wants to do when he is Wizard King? He wants to end classist discrimination in Clover Kingdom and he was genuine about it. Look, I’m surrounded by liars and I can smell one from a mile away. He hasn’t lied to me.”

“Yet.”

She growled in annoyance. “Are you worried about me or something?”

“Am I worried about the mother of my child? Yes, and I still stand by the fact that he doesn’t feel remotely human.”

“You’re not human either, idiot. I don’t care if he isn’t. I mean, as long as he isn’t conspiring anything malicious, I don’t have any problem with him being not-human and/or using forbidden magic,” she snorted. “I’d be a hypocrite if I did.”

“Okay, I’ll drop it for now,” Arthur shook his head. Maybe she’ll see some sense after she’s had her way with him. He smirked at her.

“I guess you would be biased,” he quirked his eyebrow knowingly. “I see you eye-fucking him.”

“Oh, please as if I’d let that cloud my judgement and besides,” she threw a long look at Julius on his knees as he talked to their daughter. “As soon as you two leave, that wouldn’t be the only thing I would’ve done by the end of the night.”

Arthur relaxed a bit. While his instincts screamed that Julius was hiding something about himself, it doesn't necessarily mean he’s hiding something heinous or harmful. If anything were to happen, he believed that she could take care of herself.

“Be careful, and if you two continue your little tête-à-tête and you’re still alive, let me join sometime,” he winked as he added playfully.

“Oh, come on. The last time we both got into the same bed, you came out at the end of it looking like you lost a fist fight.”

He stuck his tongue out childishly. “Too bad I’m into that.”

He dodged as she smacked his arm with an indulgent laugh.

Julius kneeled in front of Holly with a forbearing smile.

“I really like your mom,” he admitted plainly. She scoffed derisively, all manners to the wind.

“Did I do anything to offend you? If so, could I do anything to fix it?”

“All of them are like that,” she snarled bitterly as looked at her nails. “Your type only likes my mom because she’s pretty and nothing else,” Holly braced herself, ready to cut him down if he moved to attack her, but he only stayed silent. She looked up to see Julius looking at her mom by the tree with a smile that threatened to overtake his face.

“Yeah, she’s pretty,” he agreed as he tore her eyes from her to look at Holly. “And she’s kind of scary too. She has a mean hook,” he huffed as he looked at Aika from the corner of his eye. “But she’s super smart and really cool. She knows a lot about magic and I want to learn from her. I want to work with her and the time I spent with her so far has been... freeing ,” he admitted shyly. “I want to know more about her and I want us to get along because you are her daughter and she loves you a lot. One day, I hope she could even show me a sliver of that love,” Julius sighed deeply. “Could you please tell me what she likes or where she might want to go?” He looked at her pleadingly. “I’d love to take her on a date.”

Holly stared at him, eyes as wide as saucers. The lump in her throat made it hard for her to breath. No one’s ever talked about her mom like that to her face…

“Um,” she squeaked as tears gathered at the edge of her eyes. Holly looked up and blinked rapidly, willing them to go away. All of her mom’s past lovers have always avoided her because she wasn’t their daughter. No one’s really come up to her and told her that they sincerely liked her mom. They might have loved her but she didn’t know and she didn’t understand it anyway. But the way Julius looked away at her mom while Holly composed herself made her chest constrict.

She cleared her throat, bringing his attention back to her. He looked at her searchingly to make sure she was ‘okay.’

“Sh-she likes to stay in during winters with hot cocoa and blankets and just talk. She likes to listen to people talk about their day,” Holly breathed in deeply. If he was sincere, and if he would continue to look at her mom like that, then she could afford to help him a bit. “If you want to get her something, don’t . But if you really want to, make her something, like food or a bracelet or something like that. She likes personal things like that.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate that.”

They both turned their heads when Aika and Arthur burst out laughing. Jealousy shot through Julius when Arthur laid a hand on Aika’s shoulder.

“Say...How close are your mom and dad?”

Holly shrugged. “They’re best friends. There’s not much to say besides that,” she raised a brow at him. “But if you’re asking if they like each other that way, I’d say ‘no.’”

Julius nodded, slightly relieved, and stood up as the grinning pair made their way to them.

“What are you two whispering about?”

“He was just keeping me entertained,” Holly quickly covered as Julius threw a grateful smile at her.

Aika and Arthur shared a disbelieving look. Their daughter was good at lying, but she wasn’t going to fool them , her teachers.

“Thank you, Julius,” Arthur said, looking better than he did before. Aika walked and stood next to Julius as she laced her fingers with his. Holly quickly hugged her mom and took her father’s hand.

“We’ll take our leave,” he said quietly and nodded at the two with a wink. “Have fun.”

“Bye!” Holly chirped before they vanished from sight.

“They didn’t have to leave at my expense,” Julius began as he turned to Aika with a neutral smile. She waved him off and looped an arm with him as she led them back to her house.

“They didn’t leave because of you,” she tightened her hold on him. “They left because of the custody contract. Holly can only visit me during weekends, holidays and extenuating circumstances. After that, she has to leave.”

“Arthur is very nice for a fae,” Julius said nonchalantly. He caught Aika as she stumbled over her own feet.

“What? How did you—”

“He wanted your firstborn, apparently iron is deadly to him going by your words, you stopped me from saying my name directly, his mana was not human and you have a pact with him; All clues point to him being fae. I wasn’t really sure because he recovered from the iron but your reaction confirms my suspicions,” he grinned in satisfaction as she stared at him in shock.

“I-Yeah, I mean you guessed right.” It made sense how quickly he connected the dots. Julius was going to be the Wizard King for a reason.

He leaned forward with an excited grin. “So your daughter is half-fae right? Does that mean she has two attributes? One is Spatial Magic, what is the other one? Can I ask Arthur questions about him being fae if I ever see him again?”

Aika stared at him for a moment, completely caught off guard by the cute expression on his face.

“Her other attribute is Sun Magic and y-yeah, you can,” she looked away with a blush. She really needed a sober-up potion. Julius tilted her face back with a finger and slotted his lips against Aika’s tenderly, much to her shock. She stared at his closed eyes and thick eyelashes and melted into the kiss and cradled his face. Their lips moved slowly and patiently against each other until they reluctantly pulled back to breathe.

Julius leaned his forehead against her’s. “Could I ask you a few more questions for my report,” he asked breathily against her lips.

“Of course,” Aika whispered back.

They linked hands with a shared smile and walked up the stony path to the house. He opened the door for her as she asked,

“Where did you learn to speak Greek?”

“My father and stepmother are children of Greek immigrants. I grew up speaking Greek and Latin,” he answered as he handed off his cloak and cape to her. That little information about his stepmother piqued her interest.

“Woah, that’s really cool!”

“Where did you learn?”

“I was in Athens for a few months, picked up the language on the go.”

“Wow! You were in Greece?”

“I’ve been everywhere,” Aika answered with a proud smile as she hung the cape and cloak on the coat rack. “I’m going to go wash my feet. Could you please take out the sober-up potions from the cabinet left of the kitchen sink for us?”

Julius nodded as she took a turn down a hallway off to the side. He examined the living room more carefully. It was modestly decorated with a few bronze accents pieces and dark brown furniture, but the walls were decorated with landscape and abstract paintings by Aika’s father. Some were of a view he would expect to see outside a cabin in the middle of the woods or at the edge of the sea and some were chaotic depictions of fire, water, lightning and metal curling around each other, tightly linked and unwilling to let go.

He shook his head and strode into the kitchen as he went over the questions he was going to ask. As he reached for the cabinet where he assumed Aika kept her potions, he was hit with a wave of unnatural dread from the window above the kitchen sink. He strained his eyes to look outside in curiosity and extended his mana zone in the direction of the backyard. His dread increased when he detected recent activity of forbidden magic. It was like a parasite that crawled over scorched Earth and flowers which surprisingly thrived despite the oppressive mana. It was all Aika’s magic.

His chest tightened at the thought of her doing forbidden magic but Julius could feel it so vividly. She had been doing forbidden magic. He wondered how he couldn’t feel it on her…He took out the potion and swallowed it thickly as any warm feeling he had of her shriveled up and died. He blinked as his vision grew clearer and leaned heavily against the kitchen countertop. He had such high hopes.

“Boo.”

Julius immediately pivoted on his heel, fingers pointed at Aika’s neck as they sparked with mana. She stared at him, fresh-faced as she cocked her head.

“You’re under arrest for the use of forbidden magic,” he growled as he glared at her. Her eyes lit up in understanding and smiled cryptically.

“That’s kind of hot,” she giggled as her hand traveled up his tense chest.

“Wh—” And before he could finish his sentence, he was slammed against the wall, his wrists crossed and pinned above his head. He forgot she was Time Mage too. She could be just as fast as him.

Aika breezily opened her potions cabinet and downed the sober-up potion.

Julius strained against the invisible, hand-like force on his wrists to no avail. She flipped a dining table chair around with a flourish and leisurely sat on it as she crossed her legs, looking like the very image of grace as she adjusted her skirt.

“Does Master Raymond know you use forbidden magic?” He spat as he struggled to uncross his wrists. Julius flared his mana threateningly as he activated mana skin but even then he couldn't break the bonds holding him. She quirked an eyebrow at him as she answered his question.

“Know?” she cocked her head at him. “He sanctions it.” Aika supressed a smile as Julius stilled in shock. “I’m sure you had questions about how I knew the forbidden runes on Sven’s body. A better question would be how you, a Magic Knight Captain, knew.”

Julius stayed silent as they both stared at each other, wearing equally neutral expressions.

“I like to read,” he finally said.

“Oh no, I knew that already. The question is why you would be reading about forbidden runes.”

“I could ask you the same,” Julius said, his expression icy and eyes that were dull to the point where they seemed black in the dim torchlight of the kitchen.

Aika raised her hands as she shrugged. “I’m an open book. I’ll tell you where I learned if you tell me.”

He jerked against the restraints one more time before he slackened in defeat.

He sighed. “There’s a secret section of the Royal Library,” he growled, refusing to elaborate further.

“Oh, is that all?” Aika sighed in relief. She read everything in there already and it only had elementary books on forbidden subjects. “If that’s where you learned then that’s okay. It would be a problem if you were actually interested in forbidden magic and sought after it in other places,” Aika nodded as she crossed her arms.

“I learned forbidden magic in the Spade Nation War College for four years since I was 16. That was almost twenty years ago,” she explained as she hugged herself. She smiled wickedly when Julius’ eyes strayed downwards to her chest.

“Did you know,” Aika began as his eyes flickered up to her’s with an embarrassed blush. “That using forbidden magic and having weg is a symbol of power in the rest of the world? It’s taboo on this continent only because someone opened the Qliphoth Tree over 600 years ago and let out a lot of demons into the world. The rest of the world actually still hates the Four Suits continent because of that,” she shook her head with a wry smile. “It’s no matter,” she leaned forward as if she was going to tell him a secret.

“I’m not particularly a patriot or a nationalist—I’ve been around the world way too many times to be one—but serving the Wizard King was and is a pleasure. I do forbidden magic for the Wizard King. I keep my hands dirty so the Wizard King doesn’t have to—but that doesn’t mean Master Raymond’s hands are entirely clean,” she snorted as she said, “He did choke the life out of an entire army with their own blood and drown another. Did you know that he’s known as The Leviathan around the world for that?”

“Just because Master Raymond sanctions it, doesn’t mean it’s legal. Using forbidden magic means losing your humanity.”

“Yeah, if you don’t use it carefully. There are safeguards against that but there are some rituals where you can’t avoid that. But if you mean losing your emotions, I mean it happens, again, if you’re not careful. And besides, it’s legal if you have a license, and guess what? I have a license. I’ve saved lives with forbidden magic and if you try to have it revoked, you will be hard-pressed by many factions ready to defend me.”

Julius sighed and closed his eyes in relief. In order to be approved for a license, it takes years of thorough background checks, psychiatric evaluations and high-level government who "okayed" it. If she’s been approved, then she can be trusted. “You could’ve just said that. Please let me go. I won’t attack you.”

She giggled as she shook her head. “Sorry, I just felt like monologuing like a villain,” she said as she winked.

Julius laughed as he looked up at his restraints. “Could you please let me go?”

Aika’s languid eyes roved over his stretched out form. “No, I don’t think I will,” her lips twitched up into a suggestive smirk. “I rather like the view.”

A thrill shot through Julius as he resisted the urge to squirm. Her predatory gaze wasn’t doing anything to help the burning heat growing in his lower belly.

“CAPTAIN!”

They both jumped as a screen materialized in front of Julius’ face.

“What-Where have you been? The meeting was over hours ago! Why are your hands above your head like that?!”

“Marx! Ah, I am just stretching my arms,” he laughed nervously. Aika let go of her hold on him with a silent laugh. She couldn’t see who this Marx character was but she spared Julius the indignity of someone witnessing him being tied up like that.

Julius dropped his arms and rolled his shoulders as he smiled wide.

“I’m kind of busy right now, Marx. I have no doubt that the squad is up right now partying their Friday night. Well, tell them to party harder because tonight is that last night before we begin preparing for the final battle! By this time Saturday, we either win or lose the war.”

“The final battle? Are you sure, sir?”

“Yes, I am, Marx. Join your friends or just relax because tomorrow, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Yes, sir...Aren’t you coming back to the base? You could look at Magic later, sir…”

“I’ll be there,” he smiled kindly. “but don’t expect me.”

“You could look at magic later! You have to inform the squad yourself now! A final battle? I can’t even begin to imagine what we need to start preparing!”

Julius raised his hands as he cringed from his berating.

“I’ll be there soon as soon as I can!”

“Alright, you better be!”

The screen fizzled out and Julius pressed a hand to his chest and exhaled in relief. Aika found it strange, for a passing moment, that he was still making gestures as if he had a heart that could beat.

“Oh, that was embarrassing,” Julius huffed as he leaned his head back against the wall.

“You should go, you know,” she said softly.

He gasped dramatically and pouted as he strode to where she sat.

“You want to get rid of me already?” he asked as he cocked his head down at her. She tugged him hard onto her lap but he readily straddled her legs and threw arms around her shoulders as they both looked at each other challengingly.

“I think you know the answer to that,” she whispered and leaned forward to nip at his exposed neck. “But you shouldn’t slack off work for my sake.”

“I’m just letting my squad have one night off before I work them to death.” Julius squirmed as Aika bit harder. He slowly knotted his hands in her hair and pulled gently. She hummed as her hands slid from his hips down to his ass and squeezed as he moaned.

“Who knew that a man of your stature, and the future Wizard King could be so submissive. ” She slid a hand down his front and cupped him through his pants. Julius shamelessly humped against her hand with a whine, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He buried his face in her shoulder as he panted.

“I’m expected to be the opposite,” he admitted breathily. “But it was quite nice when you took the initiative.”

Aika brought her hands up to his face with an amused twitch of her lips and pecked at the little dimple at the corner of his mouth.

“Well, you are absolutely adorable. How could I not?”

He shook his head with an embarrassed grin and looked around and his jaw dropped at the framed painting that covered most of the kitchen’s West wall. It was gigantic but he didn’t notice it in his lust-filled haze.

“Holy—That’s amazing! Did your father paint that?” Aika nearly groaned out loud when he jumped off her lap and moved closer to the painting to examine it closely.

It was a small, raven-haired boy caught mid-dance as the rain and wind swept his hair and clothes as lightning curled around him. The stormy sky in the background was lit with stray lightning and some even seemed to strike the ground around him. Julius couldn’t help but gape at the magic depicted so delicately and with such detail. He could almost feel the mana through the canvas.

Aika studied the little boy’s face with a sad smile as she stood next to him.

“Yeah, he did. We caught my brother summoning storms again when he was 10 and gained full control of his magic. My father found the scene very picturesque so he spent months painting and perfecting it. ”

Julius stared, starry-eyed as he touched the lightning on the boy’s cheek.

“He was summoning storms at 10? He must be a really strong mage now! Where’s your brother now? Why have I never heard of such a strong lightning mage in the Magic Knights? Didn’t you say he wanted to be Wizard King?”

“Oh, my brother’s in the backyard right now,” she said casually as she willed her face to stay neutral.

“In the backyard?” he craned his head to look out the window. “At this time? What’s he doing?”

“Staying dead.”

Julius clamped one hand over his mouth to stop an inappropriate guffaw from bursting out. He let his hand fall and pursed his lips as Aika continued.

“The painting is called ‘The Symphony of the Lightning God,’” she continued as she motioned at the painting with a giggle.

“I-I see,” he snorted. “I’m so sorry. That was so rude of me.”

She sniggered. “No, it’s perfectly fine. My brother told me to make that joke.”

“He told you? When did he die?”

Aika paused. “Over 23 years ago...He was thirteen and I was sixteen…”

Julius’s face grew somber as he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder.

“I’m sorry...I’m sure you miss him…”

She snorted. “No, I don’t. I saw his dumbass yesterday. What do you think the forbidden magic in the backyard was?”

“Huh?”

#julius novachrono #black clover #julius novachrono x reader #julius novachrono x oc #julius x reader #oc: aika tolliver #julius & aika #they gon fuck next chapter dont worry ;)

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devilsflowermantis · 3 years

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Rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better…

thank you @atticweirdo for tagging me, it was a nice thing to wake up to!

1. Nickname: i go by aphelion online! or my real name but i’d rather just friends call me that. i’ve been going by aphelion for a long time, it’s a pretty word to me

2. Zodiac sign: pisces

3. Height: taller than i thought!!! ....which is 5'4".

4. Last movie I watched: uhh, i don't think i've watched a movie recently? last thing i binge watched was nge again, but the entire 26 episodes (i think it was 26), not the movie. i'm really picky with movies anyway and i lose my attention really fast and never finish them lmao

5. Last thing I Googled: looks like i was looking up stuff about c# because a friend of mine was talking about it (the coding language)

6. Favorite musician: still love radiohead and muse. echo and the bunnymen is a good one.

7. Songs stuck in my head: climbing up the walls by radiohead

8. Other blogs: @ghostparadoxa, and my art blogs which i need to update (@supervoidart and i have a doodle blog)

9. Blogs I'm following: 86 on here, i like it feeling relaxed. probably should find more blogs though

10. Amount of sleep: i need 9 to feel rested, anything under 8 is hellish, anything above 10 is also hellish. i deal with a lot of insomnia as well, sometimes i can't sleep for days at a time and it's miserable.

11. Lucky number: when i was a kid it was 2, 4, and 12. i really like the number 9 now.

12. What am I wearing: a shirt from babezord's shop on etsy, it's really cool! and boxers. i just got out of bed recently

13. Dream job: ugh anything that has to do with programming or biology. i fucking love code and i fucking love biology. i live for this shit.

14. Dream trip: the alps....... that's all.

15. Favorite food: i don't really enjoy food all that much. i eat so i'm not hungry. i sometimes go days without eating if i'm not careful, and cooking isn't enjoyable especially if i don't care to eat what i'm making. i've been good about it lately though! i do enjoy fruit, it's easy and simple enough for me to eat. i've realized i'm allergic to a lot of them, though. i can't eat peaches and plums much anymore, and bananas are risky. apple are a no. strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, and pomegranate are still safe at least. idk about stuff like pineapple.

16. Play an instrument: piano has always intrigued me. violin is pretty. i also like pipe organs haha

17. Languages: english. i took a couple years of german but i don't remember much. i've been trying to teach myself it again through various online resources. i want to learn french too. and japanese, because it seems like a challenge. russian sounds fun too.

18. Describe yourself in aesthetic things: hm this is hard because i struggle to know how i'm perceived so i'll use one-word traits other people have said about me and try to turn it into an aesthetic/scene.

- a deep canyon. when you look down, you can barely see the ground below. it's so far away you can't make it out clearly. you can't see the other side of the canyon either, it's covered by a dense fog. you don't know what's beyond it. it's quiet here, and there's a chill in the air. you're curious, and you want to wait for the fog to clear, but it doesn't look like it's going to lift any time soon.

- the deep ocean. the abyss. there's a lot going on far below you, but you don't know what it is. it doesn't seem comforting though. but you don't mind lying on the surface. you're not worried about whatever's down there coming up to bite you. it'll stay there, and the waves here are gentle and the sunlight is warm, so why leave?

19. Favorite Songs: i might be wrong - radiohead (this one just feels like me. i don't know how to explain it. if you want to listen to any of them i'd say listen to this one!), go slowly - radiohead (another one that sounds like me!!), how to disappear completely - radiohead, space dementia - muse (especially the 20th anniversary remix ugh it's so good), ocean rain - echo and the bunnymen, shine on you crazy diamond - pink floyd. i heard this one in the past years ago and it didn't stick with me. it came up again recently and just felt right. idk, i'm really picky with my music and what sounds right in the moment. but the first 3 have been my favorite songs for like 7 years so go with those.

20. Random fact: i have synesthesia! the way i observe and interact with the world is heavily influenced by it. it influences how i perceive my own emotions, my personality, my gender, my entire self. it influences my interests, and the people i like to be around. for example, the other day i couldn't tell how i was feeling, and i described it as feeling like a glass fishhook with electricity flowing through it. i was in physical pain, which felt like bubbles popping and vibrant waves of light shooting up my spine. people usually can't tell what i mean by this, and it's weird to me because it makes perfect sense in my head. it's like another language only i can understand.

i don't really know who to tag specifically, but if we're mutuals feel free to do this and say i tagged you!

#ANYWAY thanks for tagging me i felt joy #i hope there's not any mistakes in this if there is well fuck #also what happened to the 21st question #long post #also nothing beats space dementia

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stewyonmolly · 4 years

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🌱🌈 :-D

🌱 - dream job?

writing for pixar or laika studios (they made coraline, kubo and the two strings, etc)!! or just being a novelist but that’s obviously hard to do as a sole profession LMAO </3

🌈 - tell us about your best friends!

LMAO BEEDEE okay so beedee is the type of person who almost always sends me asks during ask games that have to do with her but i still get so excited to answer them because i LOVE TALKING ABOUT BEEDEE. literally my soulmate, i feel like i sometimes say absolute gibberish and she knows exactly what i mean because we’re just wired to the same frequency. she’s the only bearable taurus alive. she’s like daisies and sweet perfume and pale pink but she also makes me want to pull on a pair of stomping boots and run through city streets at 3am while laughing uproariously and flipping off god. she’s the type of person who is so easy to talk to, so easy to relate with, so easy to love. she’s the steam off freshly baked bread and the crack of the crust and she’s also getting dragged by your best friend into the rain and kicking muddy water at each other and the sun coming out only once you’re soaked. we’re going to move to england once we graduate and we’re going to live in an apartment and raise our CHILDREN together like some kind of full house shit. it’s going to be perfect literally life without beedee would be a life without sunshine even if she prefers the rain.

jonah is RIDICULOUS. he’s the type of person who posted One (1) tiktok and got millions of views in one day. he’s the funniest person i know, he’s like john mulaney but better because he’s JONAH. he’s my ex-gifted-kid soulmate, and we’re both so fucking burnt out but in all the same ways. every time we talk on the phone we talk for 6 hours and we both pace the whole time. once he walked 14 miles in laps around battery park while talking on the phone with me. he has this enormous, gaping, bleeding heart and he’s gone through so much with so many people and he’s still so, so deeply and thoroughly good that it makes me want to dunk my head in the hudson and contract a flesh-eating bacteria. he’s going to be an actor and he’s going to be famous and you’re all going to know his name and i’m going to be sitting here sobbing because i knew him when he looked like oswald the octopus and he was my pugsley when i was wednesday and we have so many inside jokes and i could talk about him for years. his fashion sense sucks and he has synesthesia and three times a semester he texts me asking to send him poems that he can bastardize for his acting classes and it never bothers me. my actual brother and the person i sit next to at every group hang because he lets me cuddle him.

amy is LIGHT. oh my god shes light. she’s a ballerina and she’s cotton candy in human form and she’s the only person in my group of friends with conviction, the only one with a spine. she loves the color yellow and she sends me stickers in the mail sometimes and she bakes sometimes and only very badly. her dog is huge and scary and she named it sully. she eats pasta with NOTHING ON IT. she has calf muscles that god would be jealous of. she’s going to be a special ed teacher and it is what she was born to do. she’s good with every person not because she’s supposed to be but because it’s EASY for her. that being said she would probably egg the car of the guy both of us dated if i asked her to do it with me. she’s the voice of reason but only sometimes. she has a car but it’s stick-shift and she doesn’t know how to drive it because she never learned. she’s the only choreographer who ever successfully taught me a dance sequence. she’s such a picky eater it actually astounds me. she pukes when she’s nervous but she also pukes when she laughs too hard. she makes me want to believe in god a little bit.

and my little sister. i can’t even put it into words how much i love her. we share a bed every single night and when she’s not there with her pointy fucking knees up my asshole i can’t sleep. she leaves shit ALL OVER MY ROOM. i have five cups mugs and glasses around my room right now and all of them are hers. she used to mess up my carefully set-up barbie dream house while i was at school. we used to fight, like legit fight, she bit me once and i bled and now we laugh hysterically about it. oh my god she makes me laugh like no one else. she can just blink and i’ll laugh. if she breathes right i’ll laugh. we make eye contact and i laugh. we used to get smacked in church for giggling about the lady who smelled like yankee candle catalogues. she’s a lacrosse player and she wants to be an anesthesiologist and she’s going to be a fucking soccer mom with 2.4 kids and she’s going to marry her high school sweetheart and i’m nothing like that and i’m SO HAPPY FOR HER. she has so many friends and goes to parties and she’s so popular and she deserves it all because she’s actually a good person. i can’t go to shoprite or walmart without her. she’s always wearing my clothes and she stretches the thighs of all my pants. she’s lactose intolerant and she eats dairy anyway and then i get the snapchats of her on the toilet crying and i still feel bad about it even though she knowingly did it to herself. she cries every time she drops me off at college. sometimes she reminds me of my mom and it scares me. sometimes i look at her laughing and i see me and it scares me. usually i just see her, and that’s the best thing i could see. she’s the one person i don’t think i could live without.

#SORRY I TALKED SO MUCH I JUST LOVE LOVING PEOPLE #about me #ask game #beedee tag #i’m love u beedee sweet tea bubblegum gal

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imhereforbvcky · 5 years

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Vivid - Part 5

Masterlist - Series Masterpage

Summary: Have you ever met someone who completely embodies a color? Not an aura, not synesthesia. Just… They walk into the room and when you spot them, you think to yourself, “Wow. That is a walking hurricane.” When Clint Barton serendipitously meets a free-spirited stranger, he sees red. Chapter: After you turn up unexpectedly on Clint’s mission, he tries to set things right, despite the risk.

Warnings: Swearing, mission violence.

Word Count: 2595

A/N: Okay, guys! I’m out of town still so I’m including the tags here on the original post, hopefully they work. Also, sorry this is all one big chunk. 😬

“What about him?” you asked, nodding toward a guy who passed by you with an acid wash black denim vest and a mohawk so tall you didn’t think you could reach the ends of it on tip-toes. “Is he cute?”

One friend shrugged, leaning a little to follow his path through the crowded warehouse. Another pulled a face: somewhere between a scowl and distress. Mostly scowl.

“No honey, you’re not a teenager trying to piss off your parents.”

You shrugged and nodded, chasing the bright red straw of your vodka soda. “I can’t tell. Concerts cloud my judgment. I get to having fun and I just… I don’t know, that anything-could-happen feeling takes over, ya know?”

“Yeah, that has nothing at all to do with the vodka,” Nina rolled her eyes.

This was not her scene. She was reserved and structured and liked her evenings well planned – guaranteed enjoyment.

You, meanwhile, were all spontaneity and effortless near-chaos. Nina wouldn’t even know what a pop-up concert was, much less consider attending one. But you’d dragged her along because you loved the idea and you damn well needed a night out.

The ongoing silence between you and Clint had grown into an icy dagger. You hadn’t heard from him since you’d run out of his apartment in a whirl of ice cream and shame. You wanted to be angry, but mostly it just hurt.

“Anyway, why are you prowling for punks?” Nina asked. “I thought you were seeing that guy? The midnight coffee guy.”

A more exaggerated groan had never been heard. Your head hung back on your shoulders just a moment before you dropped your forehead heavily onto Nina’s shoulder.

“No,” you grumbled. “You were right.”

“Oh, honey…”

You pulled away and began digging in your pockets, unwilling to meet her eye while you divulged another rejection, another failed leap into the dating pool.

“I was very ready to be ‘seeing’ him,” you grumbled, tearing open a little black aluminum envelope and stuffing your fingers inside. “But it turns out he’s already ‘seeing’ someone. Like… an amazing someone. A literal fairy-tale superhero!”

“I don’t… I don’t think that’s a thing…” Nina tried to slow your downward spiral.

“Oh trust me!” you nodded with raised eyebrows, dropping little granules from the black and neon packet into your drink. “It is. She’s like if a funny, caring, air-brushed version of a human come to life as an Avenger. And she was standing right there in his kitchen at two a.m. making him healthy fuckin’ food and being just… generally perfect for him. And apparently they ‘go way back.’ I just stood there like an idiot.”

You watched the little candies fizz and pop in your drink and took a sip, enjoying the distraction of the bubbly sweetness on your tongue.

“Honey, stop comparing yourself,” your friend’s comforting hand patted your shoulder. “It’s not about her.”

“No, I know.” You pouted, taking another sip and leaning against Nina as she pushed her arm over your shoulders. “It’s me. I get in too deep too fast and they never want me like I want them.”

“Okay, harsh truth time.”

“Already?”

She squeezed your shoulder.

“You are all about effortless,” she observed. “It’s great. You laugh effortlessly, find your way effortlessly, and you fall for people effortlessly. But, you expect them to match it and, honey, that’s just not how people work. Relationships aren’t effortless. Some people need time.”

“But nobody’s promised time,” you complained.

“Nobody’s promised a happy ending either.”

“Ouch.” You honestly hadn’t considered that unpleasant alternative. It left you silent and poking at the ice in your cup with the stupid red straw.

“I’m not saying your big open heart is a bad thing,” she was quick to soothe. “It’s what makes you, you. You’re like a big red hot air balloon. Most of us don’t know how you float through life like you do, with these highs and lows. Most of us are too scared for that. And honey, some people have been hurt. Some people just don’t know what they want. Give it time. Next time.”

You swung loose clumsy arms around Nina’s waist and hugged her tight to your side. “You always know just what to say. I’m glad you came out with me.”

“That’s why they pay me the big bucks,” she teased. “Next session I’m charging.”

“Therapists,” you rolled your eyes, “Always on the clock.”

“Shit! There you are!”

His voice was breathless and frantic but you’d learned to recognize it in the dark of night looking at the stars, or with a mouthful of pizza, or laughing over a tower of creamer packets. You’d know it with your eyes closed.

“Clint? What are you doing here?”

“I was…” he leaned over for a moment, catching his breath with his hands on his knees. “I w—Wait, that’s my line.”

Even if you’d wanted to, you couldn’t have helped responding to the grin that quirked lopsided across his face. It was just so easy with him. Effortless in every way.

You chuckled and looked at your feet, feeling that familiar shiver rising over the back of your neck. Finally, you let your gaze flicker over him, knowing it was a bad idea. Knowing you’d give in.

But you were startled by what you saw. No soft comfy sweats, no lived-in jeans with holes in the pockets and dirt on the knees. No perfectly fitted t-shirt that you knew would be well-worn and soft against your cheek.

No. He stood before you all sharp angular lines. Dark leather, black neoprene, and heavy zippers, like an armored motorcycle jacket trimmed in a dark dusty violet. The same leather armor cut in sharp lines down his legs to sturdy boots. Oddest, one glove covered only three fingers.

He stepped closer, reaching quickly for your hand. He looked hurt when you stepped back, frowning.

“Are you… are you with a band?” you asked, giving him another quick once over. “The opener?”

“What?” he chuckled. “No, why would you…?”

“Well, I don’t know,” you laughed right along with him like it was the simplest thing in the world, like right here with him was exactly where you were supposed to be and what you were meant to be doing. “I’m not judging… that’s a look though… the leather and…”

He glanced down at his suit. His Avengers uniform, his armor, and he outright laughed.

“I like it,” you shrugged, a sheepish smile insistently beaming over your cheeks. “It… you look good, but you um… you stand out a bit.”

“Yeah. I guess I do.” Something like a snicker, more like a snort accompanied his reply. It was so uniquely Clint: funny and absurd and so disarming. His eyes met yours again and you could read the smile all over them. they were brimming with it and you were practically swimming.

Nina’s arm eased from your shoulders and squeezed your hand. A reminder. A message: be strong, be patient. He’s not yours. She let go and stepped a few feet away, leaning on the bar within your sight if you needed her. Friends don’t abandon friends to almost-somethings come back to haunt you.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he blurted the words before he could think to soften them.

“One night only pop-up concert’s a strange place to look,” you joked.

“What?”

“The concert,” you squinted at him. “It’s a pop-up. They message a list of people like 3 hours before with the address. I assume you got one?”

Suddenly Clint’s comlink erupted with activity he struggled to attend to: It’s a set up. The concert isn’t real. Something about hostages and Clint get your ass out of there…

Bucky’s voice in his ear was nothing but noise, noise, noise when you were right here, bright and alive. You were always the midnight calm. The surest dance. Nothing could go wrong if he just stayed near you. He knew that wasn’t true, but for a minute he stood still in the center of the storm.

“No,” he shook his head, “No, I meant… I haven’t seen you at the bodega. Or the uh, the coffee shop, or—“

“I know.”

You swallowed hard, a crease deepening between your brows.

Clint was shocked by the silent push of the dagger of regret. He’d let you walk out of his apartment that day with a lie in your head and it hurt – physically hurt – to see you so pained by it. He felt like a kid who’d held the brightest, most buoyant red balloon and let it slip away into the sky.

“I miss…” you. A part of him screamed to finish the sentence, but that piece of him – sharp and poisonous – that knew he’d ruin things, had already ruined things clapped down on his tongue. “I miss talking to you. And Lucky misses you. And Marco, the uh, the pizza guy, he gives me a hard time when I turn up alone, and—“

“I miss you too, Clint.” The words came so easy to you. Like every emotion lay just below the surface, brimming, glowing, ready to burst, sometimes ready to break. To break you in two. Like right now as you swallowed another batch of tears. “It just… didn’t seem like a good idea anymore.”

“Barton! Let’s go!” the comlink squawked. He was rooted to the spot.

“I’m sorr—“

The moment he’d opened his mouth a blue streak ripped across the sky through the window behind him and landed against the building with a burst. He was close enough to feel the heat on the back of his neck in the same instant the boom reached his ears.

Pitching forward, his body crashed into yours, but he managed to recover enough to keep from crushing you. On his knees, with an arm curled over your back, his sharp eyes scanned the room.

“You okay?” he hollered over the roar of automatic gunfire and the frantic cry of the crowd.

You merely nodded, clinging tightly to the shelter he provided. Your fists curled in the smooth leather of his jacket. Quickly, he guided you behind the nearest bar – the faintest modicum of safety. Nina was there, clamoring for you, shouting your name in a wretched mixture of terror and relief.

Clint hated this about the job. How people sobbed through small victories, how fear colored everything thereafter. He wondered how it would color you. Would you still be red and bright? Would you be a fire engine, screaming for help? Would you be a red brick wall, graying in the dust of an explosion? Or the deep loathsome red of bloodshed over concrete, opaque like the muddied edges of raw garnet?

“Barton! We need you in position out here!” Bucky stood just inside the massive room, shoulder pressed to the thick steel door of an emergency exit. For a moment he gave Clint a look and a rueful frown. The very next moment, his steel blue gaze turned to the sliver of an opening he’d left at the door and began returning fire.

Clint closed his hands around yours and squeezed, gently extracting your frightened grip from him. He hated it. Every second, he hated it. But in order to protect this thing he’d found with you, he had to risk it. He had to turn into the storm.

“What are you doing?” you demanded panicked and grasping at his arm. “Where are you going?!”

Nina tugged at your arm, eyes locked on Bucky beating back the enemy at the gate. Then snapping to the room full of people: unarmed and frantic with no safe way out. It was chaos. Her eyes settled on Clint just in time to see him reach for his bow and flick his arm at the elbow, with enough force to snap the bow into shape.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he promised, hoping he wouldn’t break it. “Stay here, stay low.”

“Barton!” Bucky hollered again, “Priorities, man!” Then he disappeared through the door, expecting his mission partner to follow. To get his ass back into position.

“Clint!” you shouted as he turned and jogged through the mess toward the door. “What the fuck is he doing?” you asked Nina voice frantic to the point of shrill breaking. You weren’t really expecting an answer. “He’s gonna get murdered. He’s just a guy! He hardly sleeps, and he drinks more coffee than a camel does water! And his cholesterol must be through the roof from all that greasy pizza! And he’s… He’s…!”

“When were you going to tell me you’re buddy-buddy with the Avengers?!” Nina balked.

“I’m not!” you snapped. “I told you, it was so awkward. She was just in the kitchen when I strolled in like I owned the place, when really she and Clint have been toge—“

“No! Him!” Nina pointed, wide-eyed.

“Hi.” Clint was slightly out of breath again. He’d sprinted back and knelt to face you with a nervous smile flickering over his lips.

“Hi.”

“Bucky said priorities, so uh,” he looked down for a second. Took a deep breath and then leapt head first into the deep unknown, head blaring red alert and hoping it wouldn’t hurt too badly when he crashed into the water. “I’m Clint Barton, I—“

“I know that, Clint. I sit on your stoop like 3 nights a week.”

He held up a hand to stop you. God he just needed to get this out. “I’m an Avenger. I go by Hawkeye.” He held up the bow as proof. It was the most elaborate piece of man-made weaponry you’d ever seen. “Natasha is my best friend. Good and bad and… worse than bad, she’s there. And I’m there. That’s not gonna change, but we’re absolutely not… a thing. Okay?”

You nodded, chewing on a smile because it was definitely not an appropriate response to the current mayhem. But it was the only response you’d ever really had to Clint Barton. The midnight coffee guy. The bodega dance partner. The shitty night fixer. The can’t say no to a dog, pizza hoarder.

“I like you a lot,” his eyes were firm on your own now. Unwavering for once. “And I miss you. And I’m probably gonna need a lot of coffee and half the pizza in New York City when this is over with.”

You laughed, and it drew out a big smile in him, and a little courage too.

“And a really long nap.”

“And probably an ice pack,” you added.

“More than probably.”

You gently let your hand fall over his; the one holding the bow. You had fallen effortlessly and happily for Clint Barton, just Clint. But this Clint: bold and recklessly brave despite all the odds and all the reasons to fear... This Clint, Clint the Avenger was pretty damn incredible too.

“Can I call you for all of that? Like we did before? Once the dust settles?”

“You better.”

He nodded, resolute, determined to get to work, but with a grin lighter than he’d felt in a week. Without another thought, he kissed the tip of your nose. He chuckled to himself as he sprinted back to the door. It had been a thoughtless move, driven purely by the swelling feeling in his chest. It was all spontaneity and life. You must be rubbing off on him.

“You better! I miss that pizza dog of yours!” you hollered after him, leaning out from behind the bar with a cheeky grin.

Maybe he was rubbing off on you a little, too.

Chapter 6 >>

#clint x reader angst #clint x reader #clint barton x reader #clint barton #clint barton fanfic #avengers fanfic #vivid 5

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johannesviii · 5 years

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Top 12 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2013

The best year in a trio of awesome years for hits. So awesome, in fact, I had to leave several excellent songs out of the list, even with two additional slots, and limit the list to songs I actually put on my mp3 player at one point or another.

What’s that? People usually call it a bad year? Well screw them.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

The year I stopped working in Paris, found a job closer to home that finally made me feel helpful in the grand scheme of things, and I finally had more free time. Goodbye daily trains. I also went to some concerts! This never happened before.

2013: also the year when just about every band and artist I liked decided to make a good album. Except Depeche Mode. Depeche Mode made Delta Machine. It wasn’t great. But, uh, let’s see, Placebo made Loud Like Love (with the fantastic A Million Little Pieces), VNV Nation made Transnational, Daft Punk made Random Access Memories... Nine Inch Nails came back with Hesitation Marks, which is pretty great with a couple of fantastic songs. Lady Gaga made the vastly underrated ArtPop! Even Eminem made a pretty decent album! Eminem! In the year of our lord 2013! And The 1975 made their debut album. They would eventually become one of my favorite bands of the 2010s, but not yet, though. And Indochine redeemed themselves by releasing Black City Parade, their absolute best album of the decade.

However, despite Indochine’s excellent effort and the return of Nine Inch Nails, the album of the year, at least to me, was Kveikur by Sigur Rós. At that point, I had been following their stuff for ten years, and this album still blew my goddamn mind. It’s so heavy and dark and so different from what they had been doing since Agaetis Byrjun. It’s loud and textured and industrial and yet, there’s so much light above the dark. They out-NIN’ed Nine Inch Nails. There isn’t a single track I don’t love on this album. It’s their best one in my humble opinion.

As far as unelligible songs go, boy, where do I start. Uh. Copy of A and Came Back Haunted (Nine Inch Nails), certainly, A Million Little Pieces (Placebo) as I already mentioned, Memoria and College Boy (Indochine - I’m actually shocked they aren’t on the French top 100), Chocolate by The 1975, and most infuriating of all, Castle of Glass by Linkin Park, which is imho their best song of the 2010s. Oh well.

But there’s still a shit ton of stuff which was elligible but didn’t make the list. Here’s a lot of honorable mentions. There were like ten more of them initially, mind you.

Sirens Call (Cats On Trees) - You know how in just about every top ten post I’ve made so far, there’s a song where I’m like “if I had better taste this would be higher”? This is this song for 2013.

Don’t You Worry Child (Swedish House Mafia) - Catchy but borderline annoying. Still very good.

Counting Stars (One Republic) - This is so happy and catchy. More songs like this nowadays, please.

I Cry (Flo Rida) - Still elligible. Still great. Still not on the list.

Ho Hey (The Lumineers) - Same thing here, sadly.

Animals (Martin Garrix) - I called Bangarang from the previous list a perfect stim song, and this is in the same ballpark. Not as good, but great shapes and colors all around.

Berserk (Eminem) - That song has a lot of really bad lines, but also a lot of much needed energy, it’s a ton of fun, and I love the “say f█ck it before you kick the bucket” part of the chorus. I was so glad to hear Eminem having fun again. Would certainly have made the list in a more mediocre year. Not the most infuriating thing I had to leave out of the list, though.

Radioactive (Imagine Dragons) - THIS IS IT THE APOCALYPSE OH WOHO no I don’t have anything intelligent to say, it’s just great.

Best Song Ever (One Direction) - This is my favorite song from that band. It might be because it sounds suspiciously like Baba O’Riley. If you think I’m gonna complain about people ripping off good songs, please check my entry about I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas a few top 10s before this one.

Wait. Waiiit. What if the “best song ever” they can’t remember in the lyrics WAS Baba O’Riley?? Wouldn’t that be the best meta song ever? What do you think? I mean, that one could indeed claim the title of best song ever.

Get Lucky (Daft Punk) - I know. I know. But I couldn’t put it on the list. It’s not my favorite song from the album, it was overplayed, and even if it’s extremely good it stays roughly at the same level for the entirety of the song. I love it, but I had to draw the line somewhere and cut the list. I didn’t want to make another top 15.

Carry On (fun.) - This was the last cut from the list. It was a really painful one. Not my favorite song from them, but still very, very good.

There’s been lists where I had to put filler. If I had to put actual grades to them, some songs I put on some lists would get a 6/10 or even a 5/10 for really bad years (looking at you 1990). Sometimes, I had to put stuff I’d grade 7/10 as high as #3.

If I had to grade this 2013 list according to my personal taste in music, #12 would get an 8/10, #11 would get a 9/10, and everything in the top ten would either be a 9,5 or a 10. No joke. That’s how good that year was for hits.

Let’s go.

12 - My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light’Em Up) (Fall Out Boy)

US: #40 / FR: Not on the list

There you have it. Three songs from a band I consider pretentious asshats ended on my lists. Including this one, in a year where I decided to severely limit my options for songs. And at the time? I thought it was just an okay song, way too slow but okay. Not great. At all.

It took it about three whole years to grow on me, and it also took me a while to actually know what it was about, and as I said previously, framing is everything ; knowing this song basically said “we’re back, and we’ve changed, and you’re not gonna like it so you’re gonna feel betrayed and you’re gonna burn your old posters, and in the end you’re also gonna betray us” makes it a lot, lot better. I especially love the “Burn everything you love then burn the. ashes” line with the weird pause for emphasis.

It just goes stomp, stomp, stomp. It’s heavy. You can’t dance to it. You can’t even have fun while listening to it. But you can certainly stomp along, and feel angry, and, yes, betrayed, and three years after 2013, I certainly needed that kind of song. A lot. You know exactly why.

11 - Burn (Ellie Goulding)

US: Not on the list / FR: #54

I discovered Doctor Who at the very, very end of 2013, and for some reason I associate this song with Martha’s journey during the year that never was at the end of S3, trying to convince the entire Earth to fight back against the Master. That’s all I have to say about this song. It’s great.

10 - Instant Crush (Daft Punk ft Julian Casablancas)

US: Not on the list / FR: #26

So yep, Get Lucky isn’t my favorite song on Random Access Memories, and thank you French charts for allowing me to put this one on the list instead.

Like a ton of people, I couldn’t figure out what the chorus was, apart from a couple of isolated words, and that felt exactly like being 10 and trying to decipher songs with my limited English. And then I checked the lyrics, and they were mostly variations on “I don’t want to be alone” and they rhyme “go” with “go”, so, uh, nothing of value was lost that day. And it still sounds fantastic.

9 - Applause (Lady Gaga)

US: #37 / FR: #66

Yes, there’s some really stupid shit in the lyrics and the theme of the song itself isn’t particularly inspiring, but that chorus is a happy burst of fuzzy bright angular shapes, and it’s so energetic it feels like you could phase through walls by sheer force of will while listening to it. It would be even higher if the lyrics were better, I swear.

8 - Papaoutai (Stromae)

US: Not on the list / FR: #4

And the boss of cleverly written hit songs strikes again. Pretty sure that one, like Alors On Danse, is well known even if you don’t speak French. As I understand it, apparently French teachers like to use it in class. But yeah, just in case: it’s a song about his absent father. My favorite part:

Un jour ou l'autre on sera tous papas (One day or another we’ll be dads) Et d'un jour à l'autre, on aura disparu (And one day or the next, we’ll be gone) Serons-nous détestables? (Will we be despicable?) Serons-nous admirables? (Will we be admirable?) Des géniteurs ou des génies (Parents or geniuses) Dites-nous qui donne naissance aux irresponsables? (Tell us who birthes irresponsible people?) Ah, dites-nous qui, tiens (Ah, tell us who ; weird) Tout le monde sait comment on fait des bébés (Everybody knows how to make babies) Mais personne ne sait comment on fait des papas (But nobody knows how to make dads)

And it’s also horribly catchy. And it was kind of a meme here. It was everywhere. I’m surprised it wasn’t even higher than that on the French year end top 100.

7 - Underwater (Mika)

US: Not on the list / FR: #70

Why do I love this song so much even though I usually hate songs like that. This is the kind of romantic bullshit Robbie Williams does, and for the record I absolutely hate Angels, and Underwater even sounds a bit like Angels, and it also has the same kind of corny central metaphor. So. Why do I love Underwater again? How can I justify this? I’ve got no clue.

We don’t deserve Mika.

6 - I Need Your Love (Calvin Harris ft Ellie Goulding)

US: #56 / FR: #51

By now you must all be extremely tired of reading me describing songs in visual ways but this song is the sound equivalent of some sort of light show mixed with Dance Dance Revolution patterns. It’s incredibly kinetic and full of joyful, glittering energy, and I love it so goddamn much.

As a 90s kid who loved eurodance, I’m incredibly grateful this kind of music still exists and is still charting.

5 - Treasure (Bruno Mars)

US: #30 / FR: #23

Speaking of nostalgia. Well, not really, since I wasn’t born in the era this is trying to mimic, but still. I don’t have anything to say about this, apart maybe from the fact this is the song that finally made me like Bruno Mars.

4 - Hey Brother (Avicii)

US: Not on the list / FR: #18

I already mentioned how much I loved Avicii’s music when I briefly talked about Levels, and Hey Brother is even better. As you might know I have a little brother and as it is often the case with siblings we fought a bit but we also shared a lot of things, and games, and weird private jokes, and yeah that song can occasionally make me cry a fair bit if I’m being honest.

Also, it’s kind of my main theme song for Charley and C’rizz, so, yeah, it’s just another layer of Feelings(tm).

3 - I Will Wait (Mumford & Sons)

US: #52 / FR: Not on the list

As you might have noticed, there’s one genre that is conspicuously absent from my lists as far as the US hit songs are concerned, and that’s country. I’ve got nothing against country music, I just rarely find it visually interesting. Now I do like folk rock on the other hand, but its big era is long gone, and it’s quite rare to hear anything from it in the charts nowadays. I liked Ho Hey by the Lumineers, but I always thought it was a little bit too slow.

And then I found Babel by Mumford & Sons at the library, gave it a try, loved it, felt like discovering a modern band version of Bob Dylan with simpler lyrics, and this isn’t my favorite song on the album and it’s still at #3 on this list. Quality, man, just quality.

My favorite song from the album is Lover of the Light, by the way.

2 - Can’t Hold Us (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis)

US: #5 / FR: #8

Sometimes you need angry fight songs, sometimes you need energetic fight songs, and sometimes you need happy fight songs. And when something combines the last two, it’s like you caught a star in a Mario game and you’re f█cking unstoppable.

If Macklemore doesn’t get more hit songs at some point in the near future I’m gonna punch a wall.

1 - Roadgame (Kavinsky)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

This song has no music video. It was still an enormous hit.

As you may recall, I already said once or twice that I liked to hang out at the disc store after class while I was in highschool and uni, and it still happened regularly after I started to work. Even nowadays, if I had a really, really bad day, there’s a good chance I’ll go there and spend at least an hour there just listening to stuff.

So here I was, one fine (actually bad) day, and this song was playing, and I was mesmerised, and for the first time ever, I felt the need to find a vendor and ask what was playing. I found one and the guy instantly beamed and went “oooooh I picked that album to play it in the store today! :D That’s Kavinsky, he’s great, here, have a listen” but it was already getting late so... I trusted him and basically bought the album blind.

Best decision ever. On top of being one of the best albums of the 2010s, OutRun is a concept album presented as if it was the soundtrack of a movie that never existed, about a young guy getting killed in a car crash in 1986 and somehow fusing with his car mentally and reappearing as some sort of technological zombie in 2006. And Roadgame is one of the best songs on the album if not the best. Well, my favorite song on it is actually Testarossa Autodrive, but you get my point.

I was like “there’s no way this is going to be big”, and I was dead wrong, thankfully. As a big fan of electronic music full of lights and flashes and colors but with dark overtones, I couldn’t be happier about this being one of the sounds of the year. Just fantastic stuff.

It’s 2020, man. Please drop that second album. We’re ready to have our minds blown all over again. Just do it.

Also, thank you random vendor from the disc store.

Next up: I have no idea why some people call 2014 a really bad year for hit songs tbh

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

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the-strawzish-clownfish · 4 years

Note

Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

#are you pleased with yourself yobi #sorry this took so long #strawzy answers #fucking yobi #tw swearing #cw swearing #strawzy cleans out dus inbox

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soahappylowman · 5 years

Text

Make Up (Happy Lowman)

Summary: Happy’s all messed up after his old lady leaves him for infidelity. Warnings: Talk of cheating, use of drugs and alcohol consumption Words: 1,712 Note: I can’t stop writing about Happy, I love him too much. Tell me what you think.

------

“you need to come back”

“I don’t know about that”

“He needs you”

------

The room was spinning and changing color at the same time, Happy was beginning to think he shouldn’t have taken that pill Juice offered. Lord knew what it was in the first place. He really thought taking that pill and posting up on the couch with a bottle of tequila would make the pain go away, but Happy was a rookie to being emotionally hurt. He didn’t know nothing would make the pain stop. He had a sweetbutt tucked under his arm, but he hasn’t look at her since she’s taken her seat. He hasn’t had it in him to touch another woman since she left. It was all his fault, which just made his emotional pain worse.

------

“I highly doubt that, he made it pretty clear that night”

“c’mon, you know him better than anyone”

“I sure thought I did”

------

Happy found himself in awe of the sensation he was feeling. He was experiencing drug induced synesthesia, he could literally see words in color. The woman under his arm kept talking, but her words were coming out a disgusting brown color. Every time Jax spoke, it was a bright yellow like the pretty boy he is. Juice was green, but a mellow green. He wondered what color she would like look.

Suddenly, his stomach couldn’t handle it anymore. Happy stood up suddenly, practically knocking the girl onto the ground. He stumbled his way to the back, slamming into every wall on his way to the bathroom. Lurching over the toilet, the contents of his stomach coming up over and over and over. He hunched against the toilet, completely drained. Happy barely had his bearings when he was violently pulled back by the top of kutte, back hitting the tile of the bathroom, head spinning. Leaning over him was the familiar scarred face.

“Ya alrigh’ brotha?” It took Happy over a minute to process his words.

“Everything hurts” Happy mumbled, plopping his hand over his eyes.

“Because the drugs ah ‘cause yer ole lady left ya?” Chibs gave a straight faced look over to Happy.

“Man, I’m fucked up.” Chibs scoffed.

“Nah, you fucked up.” Happy chuckled a little.

“I didn’t think this would hurt that much.” Chibs laughed.

“you fell in love,” Happy made a gagging noise.

“That’s fucked up.” Chibs cracked a smile, what an appropriate response from SAMCROs resident psycho.

“Is she going to come back?” Happy spoke after a moment of silence.

“For yer sake, I hope so.” Chibs left Happy to clean himself up, shaking his head as he left.

------

“You know he’s new to this whole relationship thing”

“Being new isn’t an excuse for cheating, Jax”

“He was overwhelmed”

“I won’t go through that again”

------

Happy left the bathroom, freshly washed and cleaned. He felt better after vomiting but he felt emptier. It was probably just coincidental symbolism. It had only been like 2 weeks since she was gone, but he barely remembered any of it. He spent all his time drugged, drunk or digging ditches for the dead bodies (all by his handiwork). Lightening flashed quickly, lighting up the dimly light clubhouse. In that split moment Happy could see everything. The dirty floor littered with crushed beer cans and cracked bottles, remains of old junk food wrappers and bags. All over the place were bikers and bitches, some sloppy, some having sex out in the open, other just relaxing. Happy has never felt more sober in this moment.

Its not like he stopped attending the parties once he was with her, but they didn’t feel so meaningless. He liked to watch her drink and dance with the other girls. Sometimes they would pretend not to know each other and meet for the first time at a bar. Pretending like it was the first time always made it feel… like it was the first time.

Happy even missed the domestic nights with her. The pair would cook together, or she would cook and he would clean. She’d pour herself a glass of clean white wine, he’d have a beer. Laying on the couch watching literally whatever she wanted was just as good as any other night.

It was all so stupid. It was a stupid fight about something even more stupid and he was just so raging mad. He doesn’t even know what made him so mad. Maybe it was the stress from the club shit he was trying to keep off her shoulders, or that his mom wasn’t getting any better. She was pushing him for something, he thinks it may have been a vacation weekend and he knew he couldn’t step away from the club even if it was for a weekend. She just kept saying that they never spent the time just the two of them together, it was always the two of them and the club looming over them. He told her to fuck off, she told him that she couldn’t stand this anymore and he left. Had a little too much to drink at the club, was persuaded a little too easily by a croweater. She came to apologize right as Happy… came. She didn’t even scream, just turned around and left. He hadn’t been the same since.

------

“Look, babe. I know it’s hard to believe but this was bound to happen. I’ve never seen a relationship within the club happen without bumps. It’s the way it works.”

“That’s not the way that I work. I can accept club shit, I can’t accept that disrespect.”

“Trust me when I say, I think he’s learned his lesson.”

“Jax…”

------

Happy huffed, pulling out a pack of smokes from his jean pocket. He shook his head as he headed toward the door, needing fresh air, even if it was pouring buckets. If he wasn’t the Tacoma killer, he probably would’ve jumped. Instead, he pulled the unregistered 9 from his back waistband when the door to the club violent opened.

Happy thought he was still hallucinating when the image of a soaping wet woman in the doorway, gripping her jacket against her chest, breathing heavily from probably heaving the heavy door open. The room was quiet.

“Hi,” Her small voice snapped Happy out of it, who took two steps towards her. He still couldn’t manage to speak though. She took unconfident steps towards her ex-old man, coming face to chest with him.

“You look exhausted Hap, have you been sleeping?”

“No,” before he could stop himself or think about his answer, his mind totally blank. She hummed into response. “You’re really wet.” He sounded so dumb, but there was nothing he could do about it. He had imagined what he would say to her if he ever got the balls to go to her and try to beg for her forgiveness, but now that she’s here he can’t say a damn thing but ‘you’re really wet’.

“Yeah, I sort of stood outside in the rain for awhile, debating about whether or not I should come inside.” She rung her hands through her wet jacket, a nervous tick of hers. Finally coming more to his senses, he noticed that she was shivering violently, her cheeks tinged very pink and her lips almost blue. She wore her night shorts, his old SAMTAC shirt and a thin windbreaker. She didn’t even have real shoes on her feet. Happy kicked into protective mode.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” immediately, he moved to unzip her jacket and push it off her shoulders, turning around throwing it towards the bar. He pulled his hoodies off his shoulders and turned back around to put it on her. The second the sweatshirt cleared the top of his head, he could feel a tiny wet body cling to his and two very cold, very wet hands slid up the back of his neck and around his bald head, pulling him down. The kiss was so cold, it was nearly unpleasant. But only nearly. It took him all of .2 seconds to engulf her entire body in his arms, holding her tightly. There was a vague noise of people cheering and making obnoxious noises in the background but Happy couldn’t hear a thing.

She finally pushed away from him, shaking so violently from the cold she could finally fully feel.

“I’m not done being mad at you. You have a lot of explaining and making up to do. You don’t get to complain when I pick the next 100 movies for movie night, or when I pick something else other than Chinese for take out night. You have to check in on runs and we are going on a weekend getaway and Jax agreed to not call you for three days and you don’t get to argue.” Her eyes were hard, clearly trying to intimidate the killer. He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head as she shook in his arms.

“Whatever you want.” They stood still together, her absorbing some of his warmth while he stood there with his eyes closed, completely elated to have her back. Suddenly, she pushed away from him.

“One more thing I gotta do.” She turned abruptly towards the crowd, scanning for someone specific. Find the dyed red head, she walked confidently up to her. The red head rose, defensive and ready to fight.

She took one deep breath, wound up and punched her right in the nose. As the red head fell, she kicked her in the stomach.

“Stay away from my old man. All of you.” She put her hands on her hip and glared at the women around the room. None moved to help the redhead on the floor and none made eye contact with the perpetrator.

“Gemma was right, that definitely made me feel better.” She let out a relieved sigh, strutting back over to her old man. She could hear Tig choking on his own spit from laughing so hard behind her.

She wrapped herself up in Happy again.

“Okay, I’m very cold, please get me warm Hap.” Happy tightened his arms around her.

“I got an idea,” he was already shuffling the two of them to his dorm in the back.

#Happy Lowman #Happy Lowman fanfic #Happy Lowman fic #Sons of Anarchy #oops i did it again #lol anyways #please tell me what you think #SOA #SAMCRO

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mcveriicks · 5 years

Text

have you seen [ MAVERICK ST. JAMES ] since the storm? some say they look like [ HERMAN TOMMERAAS ] but they’re [ TWENTY-TWO ] & go by [ THE PARADOX ]. [ HE ] lived in halloway for [ THREE YEARS ] & they are originally from [ WASHINGTON, D.C. ]. before the town vanished they were studying [ PHILOSOPHY ] and lived at [ UNI BLVD ]. most people knew the [ CISMALE ] as [ +CLEVER ] but i’ve heard they can also be [ -APATHETIC ]. for some reason, they feel [ UNEASY ] about the town’s disappearance. ( riley, 20, she/her, est )

hello !!! my name is riley and i’m ????? so so extremely very much excited to get the ball rollin, down n dirty, into this rp !! i’m a sucker for angst and sadness, so … expect MUCH of that w me !! mav is a new muse of mine but i’m SUPER excited to get to dev him with all of you guys !! below the cut is a … long-ass intro post bc i have no chill !! if, per chance, you’d like to plot w me and my know-it-all, assholey but suprisingly soft child, please feel free to GIVE THIS POST A LIKE or to DM ME ( either tumblr or discord i check both, i promise i don’t bite ) !!!

tw: drugs.

* / BACKGROUND.

maverick hobbes st. james was born into a life filled to the absolute brim of expectation. his mother and father met at halloway’s law school, and both went on to become highly respectable lawyers who dealt with constitutional law in washington d.c.; they work highly demanding jobs, which often left maverick, who is an only child, alone at their impressively decorated family townhouse, staring at family photos and wondering how his definition of family had become so different to his friends’ growing up.

growing up in middle and high school, maverick assumed that getting good grades and excelling at school would make his parents proud, would get them to turn their attention to his successes –– but surprise, surprise, they didn’t. they’d pat him on the back as they headed out the door to tend to their daily schedules –– that is, if he was lucky enough to see them in the morning.

he studied. hard. trying to understand the ins and outs of what his parents did, trying to see if following in their footsteps by studying law would warrant a smile or beam of pride. it didn’t. but it still got him an acceptance to his parents’ alma mater, halloway university. he made friends quickly –– he always did. always the charismatic friend, he’s learned to rely more on his friends than his family in his life.

when maverick was a senior in high school, he finally reached an age to realize some of the shady deals his parents would make on the regular, the random bonuses his parents whispered about finally making sense to him. one case in particular had apparently caused one of his classmates’ parents to be publicly humiliated for a scandal and an incident that was apparently unrelated to their careers –– but ruined them in the process.

he felt guilt, himself, knowing that his parents could be making deals like that every day. it made him shake his head, made him cry into his pillow, made him absolutely disgusted to call people like his mother and father his own parents. he wrote so many fucking speeches that he’d recite to them once he got the chance, berating them for their practices and lack of morals in their workplace. but they never came home –– and hypocritical as he was, he still enjoyed the fruits of his parents’ work. they gave him unlimited checks with his name on them, as if it was some sort of sick version of love.

while maverick was fulfilling some of his general requirements, he fell in love with philosophy, with questioning life and ethical choices that mankind has made in the past, and would make in the future. he ended up pivoting his studies, moving from pre-law to philosophy at the end of his freshman year of his undergraduate studies.

and of course –– with this twist in the system, maverick is about to make this world his playground, living in his very own simulation of how a fresh new world reacts to infinite freedoms. he’s partially excited to see what will unfold, partially scared that things will fall to absolute shit ( ever the pessimist, maverick st. james ! ) because he has little faith that his company will collectively make the right decisions.

* / PERSONALITY.

maverick st. james is quite the paradox ( hence, the label ! ). he’s charismatic, funny, and has a witty sense of humor –– and is generally appreciated by his peers because he’s able to move conversation and discussion without making topics seem dry. and generally, he’s only like this in classes that he’s passionate about –– otherwise, you’d see him in the very back corner, doodling amongst his haphazardly written notes. what’s funny is he used to always be like this –– happy, smiley, obviously intelligent and driven. but it all sort of changed when he had this big epiphany that some people aren’t what they seem like on the outside ( re: his parents ).

he’s certainly a bit arrogant, given that he’s intelligent, innovative, and clever, and knows it –– however, even if he might not show it on the outside, he appreciates a good challenger. he thinks it keeps his wit sharp, and of course, his ego would never show it, but he does appreciate learning from people. after all, his passion in philosophy makes him certainly interested in how minds work.

at social events, you can probably see him flirting his ass off, but always having a good time, too. he’s definitely the type to sleep around, but he likes to pick at people’s brains, too. probably the most deep-ass pillow-talker halloway has ever seen. it probably borders on the line of being too romantic with flings –– the way he asks questions, but also borders on being annoying.

those who happen to get to know maverick outside of the surface-level stuff, outside the initial cockiness and flirtatious front he puts on will know that he’s actually quite thoughtful. his lonely childhood has made him extremely loyal to those who have shown him similar trust and friendship –– he would never turn his back on them. he asks probing questions, is a good listener –– perhaps because he’s interested in human decision making, but is also because he doesn’t quite know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally –– though he wants to. he’ll hold back hair and rub a friend’s back while they yak, walk his friends home, maybe throw a few punches or two –– but spicy comebacks are really more his speed.

deep down, what almost no one knows is that he’s really quite soft. he passes his curiosity off as wanting to understand people, when really it’s a mechanism for hoping someone asks him questions in return, to give him the time of day he wished his parents had given him.

* / AESTHETICS.

coffee-stained mugs, walking with headphones in, untied shoelaces, black hoodies, a cheeky smirk, small books in his back pocket, writing in the margins, quoting old authors on a daily basis, incessant eye-rolling, pen ink stains, unmade bed, mismatched socks, floral ties, empty bottles of liquor, rose thorn pricks, old worn poetry books, polished dress shoes, calloused fingers, unlit cigarettes between teeth.

* / HEADCANONS.

funnily enough, maverick’s name means ‘independent, a noncomformist’, which is exactly the path that he has taken to stray away from his family’s expectations of practicing law, specifically constitutional law as a career. he’s like. nah. fuck that.

maverick has some form of synesthesia, which allows him to remember a lot more than the average person. he associates colors, smells, sounds, to words –– and allows him to efficiently study any subjects he doesn’t have immediate passion for.

in the privacy of his own bedroom, he sometimes writes poetry and sketches his thoughts and muses –– when he knows he’s in complete privacy. faces and features that appear in his sketchbooks are often those he’s thinking of often, those who intrigue him. he’s actually quite good a sketching, maybe not quite as good at writing poetry.

tw drugs. he more than dabbles in drug use, smoking marijuana maybe every other day, while partaking in harder drugs like cocaine and adderall and others probably once a week. he feels like he’s in control of his use, but it may start to get the best of him. end tw.

maverick is left-handed. he hates that he gets pen ink stains when he draws, writes poetry, takes notes. his left palm is probably perennially covered with ink.

though he’s often wearing headphones ( airpods, of course, the nerve of this rich kid ), half the time, nothing’s playing. sometimes he forgets to press play on his phone, sometimes he purposely likes listening to decision-making and conversations of strangers. it lets him think about the nature of mankind.

maverick’s favorite philosopher is albert camus, known for his work that heavily developed the idea of absurdism ( much to do with the meaning of life, and human inability to discern an answer ).

* / WANTED PLOTS.

CHECK OUT MY WANTED PLOTS PAGE HERE !

childhood friends: again, someone who would have known him from pre-cynical, arrogant asshole days. they could be friends now still,

ex-friends: perhaps maverick went a bit too far with the questions, about trying to probe into someone’s mind. maybe for this reason, or for others, these two fell out of touch / argued and might be forced into new places due to the disappearance of the other townspeople.

unlikely friends: maverick’s reputation isn’t exactly favorable to some crowds. maybe they became friends in one of their shared classes or through mutual friends, and actually get along well, despite coming from different backgrounds / having different values. they probably see a bit of a deeper side to mav than most people !!

good influence (?!): maverick gets into his shit, has probably a less-than-favorable reputation, but he still cares about people, deep deep down. maybe your muse is a bit lost, and maverick is worried about them and wants to help them get back on track –– especially with all the changes happening in the society !! we can plot lil details about this, esp bc it’s a v unique side of mav i’d love to explore !! ( insp: x, x, x )

bad influences: those who partake in the sins that maverick just loves to lap up. they feed off of each others’ energy, often encouraging more drinking, more drugs, more sex. it’s a bit of a never-ending circle, but one that maverick keeps coming back to, for some reason. ( insp: x )

frenemies: this could be some sort of intellectual challenger kind of deal ? someone mav actually appreciates having in his life, though they butt heads a lot maybe for some reason !! ( insp: x )

disliked: they probably find maverick’s personality appalling or annoying, they probably find him pretentious af and super hypocritical for preaching so much about morals, when he drinks and uses drugs and just fucks around half the time. they could call him out for his flaws, or we could go down a completely different route of them having some weird history of mutual plots ??? so so much room for possibility here !!

+ have a couple more in my wanted plots tag here ! but literally, as a self-proclaimed angst and plot ho, please hmu with any and all ideas you might have !! i can’t wait to get started w all of u !!!

#tw drugs #hallowayintros #hallowaypoints

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changingchances · 6 years

Text

Crossing Senses- Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor Part 2

A/N: 2001 words. Hi again! So, I’m having a fantastic time writing this! Again, it’s a bit slow- it will be a little bit until the drama picks up, but I want this to be kind of a slow burn thing so that the tension can build, I suppose. Please let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Just some swearing.

********

“I expected I’d have a lot more convincing to do,” Freddie stands in the doorway of the lab, shoes dangerously close to the threshold. His hands are on his hips, his head cocked to the side. Roe shoos him a few steps back and gives a light laugh.

“Of course not, Freddie. I love live music. And I haven’t had the privilege of seeing you perform since before you went off to America!” She emphasizes the word privilege with a dramatic flourish of her hand before turning her attention back to gathering up odds and ends from the various boxes shoved into the laboratory. While she pulls out loose papers, small metal boxes, and an array of odd wiry contraptions, she adds, “Besides, you may be right. It could be helpful for my thesis.” She waves around a beat-up journal for good measure, smiling brightly when she turns back to her old neighbor.

“At the very least, it will be a break for you, if nothing else.” Freddie gives her a pointed look, arching a brow and making to step into the lab. Roe is suddenly in front of him, blocking the doorway, her arms full of equipment and scraps of paper.

“You know you aren’t allowed in here, Fred.” She isn’t smiling now, rather mirroring his expression with her own raised brow. “And anyways, there are no breaks in graduate school. There’s only getting to the end of it. With my degree.”

Freddie rolls his eyes. “So secretive. And arrogant, too, if I might add. When did you become so cocky about your smarts, darling?”

Roe sneers playfully, moving so the heavy door to her lab slams shut behind her before making her way to an empty classroom. Freddie matches her stride easily.

“At least let me carry something!” He holds his arms out in offering.

“You can’t touch my equipment or read my data, Mercury.” Roe quips back, stopping in front of the classroom and blowing a few stray curls from her hanging in her eyes.

“Then at least let me get the door for-“ Freddie cuts himself off as Roe lifts her leg and expertly wings her foot, catching the door handle and pushing the door open with a delicate flick of her ankle- toes pointed and all. She practically prances into the room, Freddie left to stand in the doorway with his lips pursed, eyes narrowed, arms crossed over his chest.

“Don’t look at me like you’ve never seen such grace before!” Roe laughs again, setting everything down on the table in front of her and rummaging through papers. Freddie merely chuckles.

“Same old Roe. Will you never let me help you?” He walks in and drags over a rolling chair, sitting in it backwards so he can rest his arms on the back of the seat. He puts his chin on top of his folded hands and watches his friend continue her search through the piles and piles of notes. At his comment, though, she practically snorts.

“Fred, what could I possibly be incapable of handling on my own at this point? I’m doing research that’s entirely out there- practically no one has even heard of the things I’m looking into, but I’m handling it. I live on my own, feed myself, pay for school, etcetera, etcetera. I can carry my things and open a door. What are you on about?” She chuckles again, but suddenly her smile fades completely and her hand is resting just atop her collar bone.

Freddie raises his brow again, but this time it isn’t cocky or smug.

“Is it him again?” He asks gently. Roe nods, her lips twisting into what could only be described as a sad smirk. Freddie knows how conflicted the whole soulmate situation makes Roe feel. She, at this point in her life, is practically married to her work, her research, her barely budding dance career. She works so hard to make ends meet, to further her education, to continue pursuing her artistry despite it all, that the idea of someone stumbling into her life and interrupting that is terrifying to her. But everyone grows up dreaming of meeting their soulmate, and Roe is no exception. She’s just terribly anxious that whoever he is, his timing will be poor.

“What’s he singing this time, dear?” Freddie stands and approaches Roe, taking her hand and uncovering the lyrics scribbling themselves straight across her clavicle. Freddie smiles at what he sees.

I am forever searching high and low

But why does everybody tell me no?

“Lily of the Valley,” Freddie murmurs, amused at the coincidence of it being one of his band’s songs. Roe scoffs in disbelief.

“Of course, it is.” When Freddie looks at her, she’s grinning and shaking her head. “I’ve been listening to that song for hours on end all week, Fred. I’m trying to choreograph to it, but it’s proving difficult.” She takes her hand back and continues going through her papers.

“Hard to dance to?” Freddie inquires, returning to his seat. He decides he’ll press her for more details on the soulmate issue momentarily. Roe shakes her head.

“Quite the opposite, actually. It’s perfect. It’s so easy to move to. But it’s your song, Fred, and I want the dance to be perfect. I feel like I’m not quite doing it justice.” She shakes her head again and glances up at him, a fond look in her eye. “I’m not throwing a pity party. It’s just a challenge. I’ll get it right sometime.”

“Of course, you will, love,” Fred smiles at her. There’s a long pause, where Freddie sits there thinking while Roe continues sifting through her notes. She’s the one who breaks the silence.

“Here it is!” She’s holding up a crumpled scrap of note paper, covered in ink smudges and chicken-scratch scribbles. “I can’t show you much about my proposal, but here. This is what it’s all based off!” She hands over the scrap to Freddie who is now grinning like a madman.

“Finally, an ounce of truth!” He declares. “The question, love, is will I be able to understand whatever mumbo jumbo psychological witchcraft you’ve scribbled on here?”

“Probably not,” Roe deadpans. “But that’s why I’m here to explain.”

Freddie attempts to read through the notes, but Roe’s handwriting is horrendous, and a lot of the words don’t even appear to be in English.

“Okay, dear, what the hell is… syn… synith…?”

“Synesthesia!” Roe practically squeals. “It refers to the crossing of senses, Fred! It’s similar to what happens when individuals take certain hallucinogenic drugs!”

Freddie stares at the woman in front of him for a long moment, trying to piece together what the hell she’s on about.

“So,” he begins carefully, trying to follow her train of thought (an impossible task if he does say so himself). “This thing-“

“Synesthesia.” She nods aggressively.

“This synesthesia is a drug induced… trip?”

“No!” Roe snatches the paper back and holds it up to her face, eyes scanning for something. “Here!” She hands it back, pointing to a barely readable line. “It’s a condition, one that can occur without drugs. I think it could be neurological, maybe even genetic. I’m not certain. But, Fred, the people who may have this condition, they can associate an experience with two or more senses!”

Freddie stares at her blankly. “I’m not sure I’m following, Roe. I’ve never heard of such a thing”

She visibly deflates at that, sinking down into a chair and laying her forehead down on the desk. “It’s… it’s a long shot, Fred, but I know it’s a real thing. There was research done in the 19th century, but… it’s not a lot to go off. But I think it’s why I can see the colors in words, and, you know.” She hasn’t moved, other than to turn her head and press her cheek against the table. She sighs audibly.

Freddie stares for a few more moments. Roe had mentioned a handful of times before about seeing numbers and letters in color and all this other dippy trippy stuff he’d never heard of before. She didn’t talk too much about it to anyone else because, well, it honestly did sound a little crazy. But Freddie, of all people, was not going to judge her for simply seeing things, differently. One may say she just sees the world artistically.

“Or… creatively…” Freddie mumbles to himself, recalling Deaky’s comment to Roger earlier. Suddenly, he’s out of his seat and grabbing Roe by her shoulders.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Roe slaps his hands away and looks at him as though he’s gone mad.

“You MUST come to our concert!” He almost screams it in her face.

“I ALREADY TOLD YOU I WAS COMING, YOU TWAT!!!” She snapped back, clutching at her heart. “WHAT IS WRONG, ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?!”

“YOU!!” Fred turns around and throws his hands in the air. “YOU COULD HELP ROGER FIGURE THIS SOULMATE SHIT OUT!”

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” Roe is still clutching her chest. Roger Taylor? As in the band’s drummer? Everyone on the planet knows the kid has a way with the women. Thinking about it now, Roe wouldn’t really be surprised if Roger is among the individuals who don’t have a soulmate. It would explain his habit of taking a different woman home every night. Is that what Freddie means?

“Are you asking me to psychoanalyze your drummer?” She asks, her face twisting into what could only be described as a what the fuck expression.

“No!” Freddie gestures wildly to the equipment and papers still scattered across the table. “His soulmate lyrics don’t appear as lyrics! They appear as colors!” Roe’s eyes widen at that. She’d never heard of such a thing happening.

Freddie grabs Roe’s hand. “You could help us interpret them, right? Since you know so much about this stuff, since you have some form of this thing yourself, you could tell us what it all means!”

Roe feels a drop in her stomach and quickly shakes her head. “I don’t see music, Freddie, I wouldn’t know.”

“But you have data, articles, resources! There must be something!”

“It doesn’t work that way, Fred. Synesthetes don’t follow a strict system of rules. It differs for everyone. Some don’t even have associations with color. There are endless numbers of sense crossing combinations in the first place, but one person with sound and color associations won’t experience it the same way as another synesthete. It’s all based on perception.”

Freddie shoulders drop a little at that, and he releases Roe’s hand.

“Dammit,” he mutters, taking a seat on the table. It’s quiet again for a moment before Freddie speaks. “He’s really frustrated by the whole thing. He doesn’t know anybody else who’s ever had anything but song lyrics. It’s really putting him off…”

Roe sighs. Freddie is rarely one to guilt anyone into anything, so she knows he is truly worried about the drummer. She looks down at her notes again and bites her lip, thinking.

“Let me see what I can do,” she says softly. Freddie glances at her with a hopeful look. She shakes her head at him. “I can’t promise anything, Fred. Whatever is up with your drummer boy may have absolutely nothing to do with synesthesia. However, if it does, then that’s a clue for him and his soulmate quest and information for me and my research.” It’s not untrue. If Roe find some supporting evidence that synesthesia affects soulmate indications, then she’d have more evidence that the condition is legitimately neurological. That would get her proposal accepted for sure.

Freddie smiles at her. “You’re a bloody genius, Roe. Dare I say, smarter than Brian.”

Roe scoffs. “Must you even question such a thing?” They both laugh together a moment. Freddie watches her as she tenses a little and glances down at her wrist.

“What song this time?” He asks softly. She smiles a little.

“Still Lily of the Valley.”

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x oc #bohemian rhapsody #ben hardy x oc #ben hardy #queen

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