#i don’t really like who i am that much but i also have no one else to be so i just wish i was a cooler version of myself
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Food Crime: Frosty the Slawman
so a while ago, I saw this photo going around on tumblr:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/63d28d4ce41d565ca8a588c8bcebcf48/78403c604e045573-97/s540x810/3572f4fb486c13fbef07eda460b1594ba834287a.webp)
at first, I thought this was photoshopped. I mean, "welcome new man in your life"? that feels like a translation error, or someone being silly on purpose.
but guess what! turns out, Frosty Slaw Man is real!
and soon...he will be mine. let's get cooking
(full disclosure: I crafted this snowman and took notes about it over a year ago. and then, like with many things in my life, I forgot about him, and let him drift into the ADHD void of Things I'm Not Currently Staring At, where object permanence is tentative and largely unrealized.
but here we are! and here he is: the slaw man. it's time to share him with you, so that you can suffer as I have suffered, and/or rejoice in my gelatin creation!)
so this recipe photo originally came from Mid-Century Menu (archive link), a blog that seems like one after my own heart, and which once tried to make the Slaw Man (with not much success; but we'll get back to that)! but it's not just that blog that has copies of this ad. I also found it on reddit, and in a few different places on ebay!
lookit that guy! he's a real guy!
both the reddit post and some of the ebay listings say that this is from 1963 (though I haven't been able to figure out which magazines it was printed in, to confirm this for myself). but in looking this up, I discovered something else fun! there's another version of this ad!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8fa330af9bce65b9a02f5323ce3e49a5/78403c604e045573-ff/s540x810/8c00d38cea8fac315c7848f2d110e07d3c4e56b8.jpg)
Best Foods is what Hellmann's stuff is called on the west coast, and the "this is no place for second best" thing makes a lot more sense when you consider that the ad was probably made for Best Foods first, and then just reused and rebranded for the east coast
the more you know!
anyway the benefit of finding this alternate ad is that the scan on this image is a lot clearer, and so the recipe is more readable! and in looking at it, I've realized something important:
when Mid-Century Menu tried this recipe, they got an ingredient amount wrong.
when they made their beloved Slaw Man, they had the water amount written down as 1/4 cup, but looking at this scan up close, it is actually 3/4 cup of water! something that might make a significant difference, considering we're working with gelatin!
(there's also another change I want to make compared to what they did, when I do this recipe. but we'll get into that in a sec.)
for now: we begin
so. there's no way I'm making a Slaw Man this large. I am just one person, and considering the ingredients of this, I don't think I'm going to be able to consume that much Slaw.
two entire heads of cabbage? three pounds of cottage cheese, a thing that I don't even like to eat? no. that's a bad idea.
so I'm starting small here and making this 1/3 the size of the original:
2 packets of unflavored gelatin 1/4 cup cold water 1 cup mayo 1 tsp salt 1lb cottage cheese 4 cups shredded cabbage
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4f4380a4eba3c6b54bf7bc5a8f48fd87/78403c604e045573-eb/s540x810/4bbcc6cff5721b9fe98c9457c813aa934e94852d.jpg)
surely this will result in a reasonable amount of Man
...okay, I started chopping the cabbage thinking it would be easier, but I've given up and pulled out a grater. this is much better! and somehow more violent (affectionate)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c8a55310e753f1674ae7ab0d8565948d/78403c604e045573-dc/s540x810/139cdf524c8fab94b3c75d5ab6dfd90c30486790.jpg)
the recipe says to soften the gelatin in cold water, and then stir over hot water until it's dissolved. I'm going to assume "stir over hot water" means a double boiler, so let's do that
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/942c85011d8760d2d46d124eba60fa56/78403c604e045573-9f/s540x810/57e4abb145bcd36b68dc3378cece66e49fe80061.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/edaab48f518d235fc076579918ed983e/78403c604e045573-24/s540x810/09e75d86a863dfb5258bab424139de4bd0b19e33.jpg)
hmmm, the gelatin is very foamy? it’s melted, but the bottom of the pot feels really....sticky
okay. after a couple minutes more and no change, I’m calling this good enough.
so one thing that others who have attempted this recipe have not taken into consideration is the cottage cheese. you see, the others used normal cottage cheese, but the recipe says to use "cottage cheese, cream style"
I’ll be real, I’m not 100% what that means, since we don’t have that here. but I can take an educated guess! so let’s blend the cottage cheese!
(with an immersion blender. I am not willing to wash an actual blender because of this)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/877ceebd8d21803f86059ffb8e781f48/78403c604e045573-df/s540x810/92f0eeb26b5e07bcd40622fa40ff8a660446b190.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ae333c4a7c9db4abdafa146cc280e204/78403c604e045573-4d/s540x810/a76ef3fae7206198dc97a68fe89e84cb072e606b.jpg)
mmm, yes. very smooth
...actually. why isn't all cottage cheese like this? the thing I hate about cottage cheese is the texture, so why isn't it all smooth and creamy like this?? I could eat this!!
a new discovery is made every day in this house.
okay, time to start mixing things together.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/350ab2ab73c90cb24af99ec2282c4d3a/78403c604e045573-1a/s540x810/7c3ac5e81ddeed007671f41179d80bc2bf35a2af.jpg)
ah, frosty. I opened a whole new thing of mayo for you! do you feel special?
(I'd make a "pre-dinner snack?" joke, but sometimes I think I'm the only one that remembers Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1459613d87c9476a156999e19f60d99b/78403c604e045573-94/s540x810/ea24ddd5e6b1d075add80b9146b89f67cfdd0050.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9c0fe2381e0720f3a2b0172c9e9b5187/78403c604e045573-2f/s540x810/0acddcb1d8b75b35fac1837c8f565d9581b98bbb.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4108f541937a08951cf97678bdaa141b/78403c604e045573-1f/s540x810/b8c6bce41f63378cac9ad8d3d435fa335edc821a.jpg)
okay, the mayo, cottage cheese, and salt have been added to the gelatin. but as this cools, the texture is getting...hmm. less than appealing.
lastly: the cabbage
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/73460a29ae3c4b42dd68ad7b5663956a/78403c604e045573-77/s540x810/1d2f060754a0770c7e49bd36a8c3b543b15257b8.jpg)
oh. oh this is not very nice
next it says to pack the "salad" into a one pound container, and two six-cup bowls, but since I made this recipe so much smaller, I'm going to uhhhh. uh. find some bowls that seem like they'd be correct...snowman? proportions?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/890e2258355a7e92a095ec48afd4d65e/78403c604e045573-11/s540x810/f80244d722396ba97b888f30caf0e1e8e4bf22cb.jpg)
ah. this bowl is too big.
hey, these'll work!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4643bb1c01631b1969439c8c73e3c4e4/78403c604e045573-82/s540x810/9fe70053578e8be54f7d309ac55d2b8d6b8a4163.jpg)
now I just have to let them chill for a while, and continue another day.
(edit from current!me: ahhh oh my god I forgot this was pretty soon after we adopted Jackie! look at these cat pics that I took while I was food crime-ing!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9f703941e405b05038062616fb80abf0/78403c604e045573-6a/s540x810/d64392197ac21b913f82a5bf9cfe1fe6c0327c6c.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a195e100c2d505fc889beef7fe9b2de5/78403c604e045573-ce/s540x810/f9eda9f301e6dd5a9b8beb8f6497572dde43256a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c650319c0eb5997f98e008a16e52dc7a/78403c604e045573-aa/s540x810/d5e83fd45b67e3e77b600d2b5e6a6546fe3af98f.jpg)
look at them having their little interactions! Knuckles was trying so hard to be friends with her! I love them)
hello! two days later and we are ready to assemble the slawman. and my sibling has started referring to him as "frosty: attorney at slaw", so that's fun.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9d7756f6a6eafbd0c0a8b099f726572f/78403c604e045573-f6/s540x810/26eb7e1f037e8c7db41882e95caf37222b4810fe.jpg)
I've done a thing where, as these set, I flipped them around in the bowl so that hopefully they'd be more round. we'll see if they actually stay like this.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5721f1f862d1f2b33270b5d07d430945/78403c604e045573-e2/s540x810/180636035b255810395c399fa2b2e2027a97c50f.jpg)
I have also made some decorations for him out of peppers, olives, and carrots!
let's build our boy
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/640e8fce8a8b8228f010384d639ca588/78403c604e045573-fe/s540x810/7e8b2d7f47bd31190837b18aa3c2ef647583d837.jpg)
oh he's so heavy. and wobbly
no no no he almost fell over!!
okay. he's fine. but more skewers were needed.
and...okay. he is complete.
behold!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/08f9d06fdc76218f2b8728f135791da9/78403c604e045573-4b/s540x810/ab39a456a5d6ca1542749d899d86411726f45fa3.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4f46302ac264c42e9d049115c528f698/78403c604e045573-93/s540x810/71d41ceba174d52ead01c426f0769b567d2ef9bd.jpg)
gaze upon my beautiful man!
(he is not structurally sound! he wobbles unsteadily as I rotate him! there are already cracks forming in the gelatin around where his arms are! don't worry about it!)
now it's time to stab him
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2a17c8fd98cff0990730b6415cf4e623/78403c604e045573-09/s540x810/523c3f3054c085a2e6d8275d476ed6a08033df9c.jpg)
and...to devour him
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5661131d8365242887d8a2203f42ef4b/78403c604e045573-a5/s540x810/e9f138e5fe103d4d66ca9c1d6b6c59138e6e7bc8.jpg)
this tastes like...a bland coleslaw? and not even that. it's just sort of a salty, cottage cheese-y cabbage. the ingredients don't combine to become something greater, they simply...sit there. like this.
and the texture is...mmm. it's not a jello kind of texture, but it is a bit squashy in a way that's mildly strange.
it's very creamy once it softens in your mouth.
...I don't like this!
and look! taking just that one chunk from him was enough to destabilize him entirely :(
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7fc81a53385a488db5e548a75340e2cc/78403c604e045573-e5/s540x810/bb1d3ce8f3cf3e4d70c2f09c373541eb5a013f2c.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fcc8989136f006c46ccec05dda9176ee/78403c604e045573-e6/s540x810/4ad115c2803563b8e6fcb7a811cb299e51e11624.jpg)
RIP frosty. now I just have to see if I can eat all of you before you go bad.
(note from current!me: I could not.
I ate maybe half of him over the course of many days, often adding other stuff to him to try to add some flavor: bacon, frozen peas, cheese, etc. but even with that, I just couldn't stomach him.
after a while I stuck what was left of him in the freezer, hoping that maybe I'd find the will to consume the rest of him some other day.
do you know what a frozen-and-then-thawed mixture of cabbage, cottage cheese, mayo, and gelatin looks and tastes like?
bad. the answer is: bad.
I threw him out pretty quickly after thawing him.
do not try this recipe at home)
#food crimes#vintage recipe#vintage cooking#frosty slaw man#frosty the slaw man#hellmann's#best foods#(like the brand not the concept of the slaw man)#(he is not the best food. he will haunt me. never again)#I could improve upon him tbh. like there's definitely a form of this that could be edible#but I'd do it with cream cheese for structural integrity instead of gelatin and cottage cheese#he could be more of a cheese ball#that'd be fine#but this? no. don't try this#it's a lot of work for too much slaw and not much flavor
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Ah that is fair and yea absolutely racism is much more of a issue right now and i know you arent going to kkk rallys i think i may have also misspoke most radfems and terfs aren’t racist but there is a racism problem in the communities and thats not exclusive to those communities there is racism present in trans communities too and that is a huge problem im going to try and go out and point out things from those communities more too because it is a problem
But yea i get your points now i was misunderstanding what you were saying before i agree wholeheartedly with what your saying
I specifically know i am not female im a girl but not female and trying to push myself into female spaces would be wrong of me and being a women is not just a checklist of things either i just truly feel much better being called she/her than he/him and thats really the only thing i truly want people to respect for me
But i am not the spokeswoman for the entire trans community i am one person there are people whos ideas don’t align with mine and while i try my best to call out bad takes within my community on my main I should probably do it here too because right now im only showing one side of the story and its very complicated
But thanks for the conversation i feel like i get your points a lot better and have learned a lot :D have a great day
(Also i am not black so my opinion on issues relating to racism is not nearly as valid as yours my girlfriend is black but i myself am not and i could never ever truly know what you guys go through)
i really really really don't care about trans shit anymore. like it's just not a thought in my mind. I'm terrified. i went on instagram and the first post i saw was "trump said there are only two genders! that's awful" I DONT GIVE A SINGULAR FUCK? I'm terrified. I'm terrified for the earth, there's a nazi in the white house that gets control of a whole department, 4 hours into his presidency there was a sieg heil by musk, he will leave everything to states and i will have no protections. I'm scared that my birth control will be taken and i eventually die alone and bloody from pregnancy complications. im scared for how bold nazis and racists and misogynists are going to be. i don't want more drilling.
i don't give a fuck if he said there's only male and female. he's trying to distract you from all the horrific shit he wants to do
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Suspicious Minds
Pairing: Emperor Geta/wife!reader
Summary: A senator informs Geta about the rumors surrounding his wife
Author's Note: This fic consists of pieces I took out from a much longer fic I had written. After reading what I originally wrote I didn't really vibe with the whole thing and so I took out parts I liked best to create this fic. Idk if it's better or worse because things feel a bit rushed in this fic now and not as cohesive as before but it's good enough I think ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I was partly inspired by Fire & Blood where it says that some in court found Queen Rhaenys Targaryen suspicious because she spent time with bards and singers and they were sure she must be having an affair on Aegon I. Also the title is from the Elvis song of the same name because it popped into my head while writing this because it's similar to the plot lol.
~~~
The late afternoon sun streamed through the marble arches of the palace, casting shadows across the floor of the Emperor’s private chamber. Emperor Geta paced restlessly, his jaw clenched tight, his fingers twitching. The rumors had come to him this morning, carried by a senator whose words had been carefully chosen, yet laced with venom.
“She is often seen in the company of poets and bards, my Emperor. Some say perhaps too often.”
The words echoed in Geta’s mind as he strode to the balcony. Below him, others strolled about, oblivious to the storm brewing in his heart. He had always known that his wife had a fondness for the arts. It was one of the things that had drawn him to her. The way her eyes lit up when she heard the verses of a poem she thought was interesting, the soft smile that graced her lips during the final notes of a ballad. She was a woman of intelligence and charm. Perfect qualities to be his empress.
But now those very same qualities and interests had become the source of his unrest.
~
Geta finds his wife out in the garden. “I had hoped to speak with you my wife,” he said, his tone polite but firm.
“What troubles you, my love?” she asked, her brow furrowing as she stepped closer to him.
Geta studied her, his gaze lingering on her face, searching for some sign of guilt. But she looked as she always did, serene, composed, and beautiful. “There are whispers in the court,” he began slowly, “that your affection for music and poetry has extended beyond mere appreciation.”
His wife’s eyes widened, and then she laughed softly, a sound like the chiming of bells. “Surely you don’t believe such nonsense.”
“I don’t want to,” Geta admitted, his voice low. “But the court is not kind to a woman who spends her days surrounded by other men, no matter how innocent her intentions.”
Her smile faded, and she placed a hand on his arm. “Geta, these men are poets, musicians and artists. They speak to me about the soul, not the flesh. My heart belongs to you, and only you.”
He wanted to believe her. He needed to believe her. But the thought of her laughter, her attention, her admiration being bestowed on another man gnawed at him. “Then why do others speak of you so?” he demanded, his voice rising slightly. “Why do they say you adore Bacchus so much that you have embraced his indulgences?”
His wife stiffened, her hand falling away. “Do you question my virtue?” she asked, insulted that her husband would believe such nonsense about her.
“I question the company you keep!” he snapped, the words sharper than he intended.
She took a step back, her expression conveying her hurt and frustration. “You have always known who I am Geta. I am not a woman content to sit idly in the palace, just simply gossiping my day away. I find joy in the divine chaos of creation. If that makes me suspicious in the eyes of our court then so be it. But I will not apologize for things I did not do.”
Her words hung in the air between them, heavy with emotion. Geta clenched his fists, his anger warring with his love for her. Finally he spoke, his voice softer. “I do not wish to stifle you. But I cannot bear the thought of others questioning your loyalty or your love for me.”
His wife stepped closer, her gaze steady. “Then let me reassure you, my emperor. I am as sure of my love for you as I am about Sol bringing us the sun each morning. But if you doubt me, then tell me what must I do to prove myself?”
He sighed, reaching out to cup her face in his hands. “Stay with me tonight,” he murmured. “Let the poets and bards sing their songs without you for once. Let Bacchus have his revelry elsewhere.”
She smiled faintly, leaning into his touch. “If it will ease your mind, my dear husband then I will stay.”
Geta pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as if to shield her from the whispers that sought to undermine them. But even as he held her, a shadow of doubt lingered, refusing to be banished entirely.
~
The grand halls of the palace echoed with the click of her delicate sandals against the marble floor. The weight of her husband’s arm on her shoulder was both reassuring and suffocating. For the past three days, Geta had not let her out of his sight. Where she went, he followed. Where he could not follow, he sent his guards to watch her every step. It was unlike him, and though his paranoia was silent, she could feel it in the way his fingers tightened around her arm, in the watchful, almost desperate glint in his eyes.
She had tried to comfort him, tried to reassure him of her loyalty, but it seemed no words could pierce through the suspicion that had taken hold of him.
During a feast, Geta watched his wife like a hawk as she entertained a visiting nobleman whose son had written a collection of poems. His wife listened to the man intently, her soft smile never wavering as the man recited a verse.
But Geta saw something else. He saw how the man’s eyes lingered on her, how her laughter seemed to light up the room. His fingers dug into the armrests of his chair, his jaw tightening. Was it admiration? Was it mere courtesy? Or was there something more? The thoughts churned in his mind like a storm, dark and unrelenting.
When the man left, Geta wasted no time. He rose abruptly, crossing the room to where his wife stood.
“You enjoyed his company,” he said, his voice low but laced with accusation.
His wife blinked, startled by his tone. “He was reciting his son’s poetry, my dear husband. That’s all it was.”
“You smiled at him,” Geta pressed, his eyes narrowing. “You laughed.”
“Am I not allowed to smile and laugh?” she asked softly, though there was a tinge of frustration in her voice. “Must I always wear a sour expression to please you?”
His hand shot out, gripping her chin and forcing her to look up at him. “You are mine,” he said, his voice trembling - not with anger, but with something deeper, something more fragile. “Your smiles, your laughter, they belong to me and no one else.”
Her eyes softened as she saw the flicker of insecurity behind his harsh words. She reached up, covering his hand with her own. “And they are yours, Geta,” she murmured. “Only yours.”
His grip loosened, and he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as if afraid she might vanish. “I will not lose you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I cannot.”
~
For the next several days, Geta’s wife’s world shrank. Where she once wandered the gardens freely, now her husband walked beside her, his hand resting possessively on her waist. When she visited the library, he went with her. Her gatherings with poets and musicians were no more, replaced by dinners where Geta sat her beside him, his eyes never leaving her.
She tried to be understanding, but his constant scrutiny weighed heavily on her. One evening, as they sat together in their chambers, she finally spoke.
“Geta,” she began, her voice tentative. “Do you not trust me?”
He looked up from the goblet of wine in his hand, his expression guarded. “Of course I trust you, you are my wife,” he said after a long pause. “It is everyone else I do not trust.”
“You cannot keep watch over me forever,” she said.
His jaw tightened. “You are my wife,” he said firmly. “My empress. And I will not risk anyone else taking you from me.”
“Even if it means suffocating me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Geta flinched, as if her words had struck him. He set the goblet down and rose to his feet, pacing the room. “You do not understand,” he said, his voice low and strained. “I have enemies everywhere. We have enemies everywhere. They would use you against me. They would take you from me. Take your love away from me”
“Who could take me when I am yours in both heart and soul?” she asked, rising to stand before him.
He stopped, his gaze meeting hers. For a moment, he looked like a man on the edge of breaking, his carefully constructed armor of intimidation cracking to reveal the fear beneath. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice trembling. “But the thought of losing you terrifies me.”
She reached out, cupping his face in her hands. “Geta,” she said softly, “you will not lose me. I love you.”
He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. “Promise me,” he whispered. “Promise me you will never leave me.”
“I promise,” she said, though her heart ached at the desperation in his voice.
He pulled her into his arms again, holding her as if his life depended on it. She sighed softly, resting her head against his chest. She understood that his possessiveness was not born of cruelty, nor out of a need to stifle her but it was of a fear he could not truly voice, a fear he could not truly reconcile with, and it had consumed him.
And so she stayed, tethered to him by her love for him, hoping that soon his insecurities would ease and he would see that she was his, not because he demanded it, but because she chose it. But she was not sure how much she could take of this suffocating behavior. Of every move of hers and every interaction being heavily watched.
~
She rarely let her frustrations boil to the surface, but this time was different. As she sat across from her husband in their private chambers, the weight of the senator’s venomous words and their impact on her marriage gnawed at her patience. For days and days now, Geta’s suffocating possessiveness had taken over every aspect of her life, and she could no longer bear the thought that this rift between them had been instigated by a man seeking to undermine her, a man seeking to replace her.
She set down her goblet with a sharp clink, her hands trembling, not with fear, but with barely restrained annoyance and anger. “I’ve been thinking, my dear husband,” she began, her voice calm but carrying an obvious edge to it.
Geta glanced up from his seat, his brow furrowing slightly at her tone. “What is it?”
She met his gaze, her eyes blazing with uncharacteristic determination. “The senator who came to you with these baseless rumors. I believe he must be punished.”
Geta blinked, clearly surprised. “Punished? For what?”
“For daring to speak against me,” she replied, her voice firm, slightly exasperated that he did not already know what she spoke of. “For poisoning your mind with lies and causing this… this chaos between us. He sought to undermine your confidence in me, to cast doubt on my loyalty, to possibly destroy my reputation. That is not something we should let go unanswered.”
Geta leaned back in his chair, studying her intently. “You surprise me, wife. I thought you were above petty revenge. You have always counseled me against such rash decisions before”
“This is not petty, nor is it rash!” she shot back, her tone sharpening. “He sought to disgrace me, your wife, your empress. By doing so, he has disgraced you as well. How can you tolerate such audacity?”
Her words struck a nerve. Geta’s insecurities flared, his mind racing as he considered her argument. She was right. The senator’s insinuations had not only called his wife’s loyalty into question but had also implied that Geta was a weak ruler, unable to control his own household. The thought made his blood boil.
“What would you have me do?” he asked, his voice low.
“Demote him. Remove him from his position. Let it be known that you will not tolerate slander against your Empress.”
Geta narrowed his eyes. “And if others see this as an act of weakness? A sign that I am blinded by my love for you?”
“Let them see it as a warning,” she countered. “Let them know that your loyalty to your wife is unwavering and that you will not allow anyone to sow baseless discord in your court.”
Her words appealed to Geta’s pride, and she could see the gears turning in his mind. After a long silence, he nodded slowly. “Very well. The senator will be dealt with. I’ll ensure his removal will be public and soon.”
Relief washed over her, though a part of her felt dissatisfied about simply just having the senator removed from his position. The senator had meddled in her marriage, made her husband watch every move she made for days now, and he deserved to face more severe consequences for it. The senator has a daughter around her age, she felt certain the senator was likely hoping to get her pushed aside to potentially make way for his daughter to get close to Geta, for her to be the next Empress of Rome. Geta’s wife seethed silently at the thought of someone replacing her, of someone attempting to steal her position. She thought about paying Caracalla a visit and informing him of the treacherous senator in their midst. He would certainly give her the dramatic reaction she wants.
Geta rose from his seat, crossing the room to stand before her. He cupped her face in his hands, his gaze softening. “You are right. I should never have allowed his words to poison my mind. You are my empress, my wife. No one will come between us again”
She smiled faintly, leaning into his touch and calming for a moment. “And I will always stand by your side Geta. But we must stand together, against anyone who seeks to divide us.”
Geta kissed her then, fierce and possessive, as if to reaffirm their bond. She let herself melt into the embrace, even as a small voice in the back of her mind wondered if she should push for more to be done about the senator.
~~~~
reader can't take out her frustrations on Geta so she will take it out on the senator who started all of this instead lol
#emperor Geta x reader#Geta x reader#emperor Geta x you#gladiator 2#gladiator fanfiction#gladiator x reader
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https://www.tumblr.com/aphroditeinthesea/773968497663492096/can-you-do-pjohoo-characters-x-child-of-eris
child of dionysus? :3
pjo x child of dionysus
🍇
jason grace
polar opposites yall are such cutie. you rbi g im out of his shell so much. like someone who’s spent his his whole life following very strict rules and orders and you just sorta don’t do any of that. you get him to actually sleep in past 7 am! wow! and sometimes when he has training at 1 he’ll be there at 1:02! crazy!!
percy jackson
maybe just maybe if you really really like him, your dad will actually call him percy. but when you two started dating you went up to your dad and were like “hey, what’s up, what’s going on, imdatingpercy, how are you doing, did you have a good day” and then 5 minutes later he’s like “you’re dating who?” anywho, percy loooves you. like he will come back from any quest with gifts for you.
leo valdez
you two throw the best parties. PDA non stop like you guys may throw parties but just make out the whole time once you’re like one drink deep. also sleepovers all the time in your cabin! freaky slumber parties!! whoo! what
luke castellan
starts out as dating in secret just because you know how Mr d is but then you get sick of it and just end up kissing him in the middle of camp. and literally everyone is just like 😦. and your dad is like 😟. but you two just start dying laughing.
travis stoll
you two match each other’s freak like ying and yang, like it might as well be a party when it’s just you two. sneaking out of camp for dates, going into the city, ugh perfect together tbh.
connor stoll
some reason I just thinks he loves loves loves kissing you. like i think you naturally always taste like a sweet wine and he will literally get drunk kissing you. he will def steal gifts for you but you 100% encourage it. like you two will be somewhere and you just look at him like “that’s a pretty necklace 😚😛” and he’s like “🤪🙂↕️” whatever tf that means
#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson x reader#jason grace#jason grace x reader#connor stoll x reader#jason grace headcanon#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan#travis stoll x reader#travis stoll#leo valdez#leo valdez x reader
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> do you ever think about how scary remembering being alecto must have been for nona? because i think about that a lot.
(NONA THE NINTH SPOILERS) (this is mostly a post inspired by my personal experience and feelings so feel free to disagree. but also i Am correct)
dissociative amnesia is terrifying. just. full stop, point blank- as a concept, to experience, however- its terrifying. the idea that there’s something missing and half the time you don’t even know it’s gone? and then to remember? to slowly start remembering every horrible thing that happened to you? to be nona, remembering, and suddenly realise that you’re doing what everyone around you seems to have wanted you to do since you first opened your eyes, you’re remembering- only it isn’t helping, and instead, you’re realising that everything you thought you were was built on a fault line that only seems to keep growing with everything more you remember?
and then it’s nona, the girl who’s anger has only ever been treated gently and peacefully by the people who love her, who is determined to be good, to be helpful, suddenly having to remember so much unrestrained anger, so much pain? and the more she remembers, the more she becomes sure that all of that is what she is going to be left as when her time, and her life is up. of course that scared her. how could it not scare her?
i don’t think it was just the realisation of who she had been that was terrifying - it was the understanding that she was a makeshift person walking around in a world where (nearly) everyone else got to be wholly themselves for as long as their bodies lived- but she’d been on borrowed time her whole life, and suddenly she has a rapidly running out countdown.
further - dissociative amnesia isn’t just about the loss, it’s about the shape of the loss. it’s about the gaps in the narrative of your own life, gaps you can’t see because your mind has plastered over them, smoothed them out so seamlessly that you don’t even think to ask what’s missing. It’s about waking up one day and realising the foundation you’ve been standing on isn’t real, and worse, that the truth waiting underneath it might be so much worse than the not-knowing… and when those memories do start to surface, you don’t quite know what it is, but it feels like a betrayal- and you aren’t quite the same as you were before anymore (which happens on such a bigger scale with nona!!!! it’s so important to me, that in ntn, nona’s remembering is not celebrated. so often in media, i see people remembering memories lost to trauma related amnesia portrayed as a good thing, and every time i’m just sat there thinking ‘is it worth it? really?’)
like. just imagine you’re nona, for me. your mind kept those lost memories from you for a reason- it buried them because it thought you wouldn’t survive them, and maybe you won’t, but now, whether you’re ready or not, they’re coming back. they’re clawing their way up from a grave you didn’t even know was there, and you have to look them in the eye and reconcile the person they tell you you were with the person you fought to be.
for nona, remembering meant losing herself. she didn’t just gain alecto’s memories, she became alecto again. the life she had built, the life she had clung to, the love she had felt, all of it just unraveled beneath the weight of who she had been before. how could it not be terrifying?
to remember. to finally give in and remember what she’d been so determined to not, to finally know what you were missing - and have to realise that your fears weren’t unfounded. it is scary - because remembering doesn’t make you whole. sometimes, remembering just erases you instead.
#like i look back at who i was this time two years ago before i had a few major memories resurface and i don’t recognise that person anymore#if i remembered everything my brain has hidden from me i wouldn’t be me anymore and it’s terrifying to know that i cant control remembering#anyways#i don’t know if this post makes sense it took me like a week to write on account of the. dissociate#doing my best & having feelings ab nona#the locked tomb#i say things#tlt#nona the ninth#nona the locked tomb#nona tlt#alecto the ninth
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Jerry Stokes and the consequences of inaction in The Eltingville Club
Time to talk a lot about the last character in the crew, Jerry Stokes. A couple of quick things before getting into some lukewarm observations, this is not me trying to morally grandstand about a character actually being bad, this is The Eltingville Club, all of your faves are problematic. This is just about how his role feeds into the environment, and because I am not satisfied with only going over a list of bad things Jerry has done in the comics and want to go into why he is like this. I have seen a handful of people already go into his toxic behavior, so this is my attempt to contribute. To summarize, Jerry is both the support and doormat of the group. Even though all the characters rip on each other for their interests, Jerry is usually the main target. He is also the character that attempts to break up a lot of the arguments/feuds that the characters have. However, Jerry never actually fixes the problems present in the group, the most he does is postpone the terrible actions, but still goes along with whatever happens. I call Jerry the support of the group, but only by a slim margin. Like Pete, he has the tendency to enable the clubs behavior, but in his case, it’s by his lack of action rather than exacerbating the conflict.
Jerry’s main concern in the club is avoiding conflict. If he prevents the club from arguing, he won’t lose his friends. But because of that, it leads to a refusal to challenge any of the groups bad ideas. The Eltingville club has cultivated an environment where they all need to have the same opinion, and anyone who doesn’t is wrong or stupid and not a real fan. So the most that Jerry can do is just meekly suggest that something is a bad idea, but because he is also the doormat of the group, and isn’t really going to stop them, his protests can easily be ignored by the rest of the club.
Jerry ends up becoming both a bystander as well as an enabler, which has the tendency to get looked over because characters like Bill, Josh, and Pete are more blatantly toxic and destructive, so Jerry’s behavior usually goes under the radar in comparison to the rest of the clubs.
**The main reason the club will actually listen to Pete when he tells them to cut it out is because he backs up his threats, he will follow though if they don’t listen to him.
Jerry’s tendency to postpone conflict also comes with the result of refusing to call out any of his friends for their terrible behavior. He has almost never defended Josh even though the entire group bullies him for being fat is because it’s been normalized. From how bad arguments tend to get and how no one in the club takes Josh’s concerns seriously, he probably just writes it off as playful jabbing rather than bullying. Even with something like Bill making the Greedo-318 account to tell Josh to kill himself and telling Jerry to keep his secret, Jerry’s main concern is not wanting to lose his friends. He wants Bill to like him, because if Bill still likes him, the club can still exist. Jerry already has a lot of anxiety about the club breaking up, so revealing this would do nothing but add more conflict.
From what I can tell, the characters live in the suburbs. Eltingville is a tiny town with not much to do. None of them have a drivers license so they can’t go anywhere by car, days are monotonous, and the only place that holds any of their interest is a shitty comic book shop. I mention this because in this environment there is the need for community, even if that community is terrible, because it’s better than being alone. It is established that the club takes up a majority of all of the characters time, so outside of this group, there isn't really anywhere else for Jerry to go to.
Even if Jerry was able to make new friends, I have the feeling that the rest of the Eltingville Club would probably try to sabotage any attempt, considering that they spread rumors about him going around telling people that he fucked Agnes Zawatsky to reel him back into the club.
Misery loves company, and even if Jerry is the main punching bag of the group that the characters put most of the blame on, he can't leave, because they are The Eltingville Club, and its always them against the world.
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Ben’s Big BL Blurb 5: Let’s Talk About Sex
I was mostly planning to check in again after the current Japanese shows ended, but after three out of four sex scenes left me wanting this week, I want to write down my ideas. I maintain that bed scenes, like action scenes, need to tell us more about the characters. Many sex scenes serve as a release of tension or confirmation of existing feelings. As usual, MAME seems to understand this, and others should probably take notes.
Call Me By No Name is Doing Nothing For Me (5/8)
I have just about given up on this show. I don’t get Megumi’s whole deal, why she’s so in love with Kohata, or Kohata’s reticence. I was really hoping that an intimate scene would open up some space for vulnerability and truth with them to give us some answers about why these two weirdos are drawn to each other, but that’s not what we got. I was hoping that when we saw these two go at it we’d learn how much Megumi has felt for women before, or how she responded to Kohata’s experience. Instead, I’m left feeling cold by the whole affair, and generally baffled by the conflicting themes around going somewhere she did cutesy girl nights before, and ordering the cute food. This one is a chop.
Impression of Youth is Wasting My Time (5/9)
I have my own squicks as a former teacher with stories where a teacher messes around with their student. However, I don’t see the point of doing a teacher-student story if we’re not going to explore any of the lines being crossed here. We also didn’t get a good arc about the student helping the teacher properly reconnect with a feeling, or discover something, that helped him get back to his art. We simply had him start painting on the beach again, the kid confessed, and then they fucked with awkward kissing. I was a bit let down by the brother’s fast encouragement of the whole thing. It felt like they were reaching for the same energy we had in Call Me By Your Name (2017) with Oliver and Elio, but it’s missing the component where Oliver knew what he was doing the whole time for me. The overall alignment feels off, and I’m getting so little emotion from this show as a result. On top of all that, they showed us the kid’s boxers before implying he was nude in the shower! Ridiculous!
When It Rains It Pours is Being Shy About Sex in a Show About Cheating (5/7)
This is the biggest offender of the week for me. This show is all about how the leads cannot have sex from the people they love, and find someone they can commiserate with in each other. When the dam finally breaks and they both need the release in each other, I was so dismayed that the show tried to gloss over as much of the sex as possible. It’s so fucking annoying for me when the shows about sex get precious about it and won’t show it. I was thankful that they tried to capture all the emotions happening around the weekend they spent together, but I think we lost a lot in not having Hagiwara blow Sei, because you just know that man has a people pleasing streak that would require him to give pleasure back. The lack of sex also means that there is no gap time between the infidelity and the discovery. We don’t give enough time for the shift in their relationship to breathe before the crisis (@respectthepetty). I’ve lamented before about Japanese shows only showing toxic or breakup sex, and so it’s damned annoying that they’re doing that in the cheating show because they probably want these guys to be together by the end. I was really hoping Mood Indigo would have some company finally (especially after Love in the Air Koi), but I clearly need to stay patient. Cannot overstate how lame it is for the show about two guys cheating because their partners won’t fuck them being shy about the sex effectively sides with the partners who won’t fuck them. Finally, I am not over them getting the insertion angle wrong while making points about it!!
Your Sky Could Have Been A Good Follow-Up on 2gether
I’ve been sitting on this one for a bit because I don’t know what I want to say about this one. I was really into it in the beginning, but it felt like this show didn’t really know what it wanted to do after resolving the issues with Oh. I personally liked the dad being confronted by his wife and father about the way his homophobia was hurting his son, but I didn’t really enjoy it as a Very Special Episode. I would have also liked to see Teerak’s newfound assertiveness in this period beyond is refusal to cave. I think this show also deeply underutilized its own supporting characters, especially the side couples. Still, I thought Thomas was probably the most beautiful newest BL boy we’ve gotten, and I liked the way he and Kong worked together. I also really enjoyed Teerak being allowed to want sex, ask for it, and take charge of it. That’s so important for a cute character. Letting us know that Teerak has also become protective of the private moments he has with Fah, and is growing into his desire for Fah really is a great way to finish a show.
Final Verdict: 7, Recommended With Reservations. I find it hard to give this a stronger recommendation. I just think the show ends up being overall inessential from how much of it ends up being fluff that doesn’t connect much to each other. The biggest things I liked were Fah and Teerak, especially in the early episodes, and I liked the family dynamics. Still, I feel like this show didn’t know what to do without Tine’s internalized homophobia, and what to do with Fah’s ex that was mentioned. There’s just too much hanging off this to recommend it as a strong drama. Everyone is very pretty, and the performances are earnest. It’s a show that means well, even if it’s a bit indulgent.
The Boy Next World Understands that Phu Has a Dick (5/10)
MAME, as usual, understands the assignment. There’s no way that their first encounter is going to be Cir showing up to stick is dick in Phu’s ass. He’s been obsessed with this boy for years in a way that prioritizes Phu’s wellbeing. It was absolutely correct to payoff that Cir keeps making Phu hard by having Cir take care of him, let us see that Phu enjoyed it. Like @babyangelsky I think it’s important that we let go of the notion that cute characters cannot want and enjoy sex. We got so much from this. We know that Cir likes to give pleasure, and that he’s not going to ask for it from Phu. We also know that Phu cares about Cir, too, because he asked about his time in the bathroom (Cir clearly jerked off and rinsed his mouth, y’all). What’s so excellent about putting a sex scene at this point is it means we’ll see their sex change after Phu learns that Cir has been stalking him for years. MAME is consistently the best storyteller at using the kisses and sex to help inform the arc of the relationship. Most importantly, she gets what the angles are supposed to be.
Ossan’s Love Thailand Is…Fine (5/12)
I’m not really into this one much right now, despite what I think is a pretty solid performance from Krit Shahkrit. I understand the choice to go back to making Kongdech a widower, but I don’t think giving him a daughter who initially opposed the romance added much to this for me. I’m hoping activating Thor’s character next week will add some energy to this for me, because I’m feeling a bit flat with it at this point. I’m glad they’re letting Earth and Mix continue to play adult characters, but it doesn’t feel like they knew what they wanted to do with office romance dynamics here.
Gelboys is a Welcome Return from Boss Kuno (1/7)
Started this today and I am seated. I really love how much it feels like we get to actually be inside of Bangkok. I love that we opened with an ad for the Bangkok rail system as a mechanism for freedom. I love how filming on iphones has enhanced the naturalistic feeling of the production. I also love how we completed the major arc of the het angst of Make It Right in the first like five minutes. Incredible stuff. I’m so excited to see the mess Fou4Mod is going to make of everything, and I’m excited to see Chian dickmatize that boy. Curious to see how much this feels like a bubble show. Shout out to Boss for showing us a naked teen at the start of this show to scare off the pearl clutchers.
RED BLUE is EVERYTHING (6/8)
This is not BL, but it’s got enough BL boys rolling on the floor and sweating on top of each other that I’m saying here loudly that I LOVE IT. Kimura Keito is fantastic in this, and I loved his fight with Okura Takato in episode 6. I almost didn’t recognize my boy from his role as Amane in If It’s With You with the change in his hair. I did not know I needed a wrestling show with BL boys…who am I kidding? We’ve been asking for this every year. This is hitting all the notes I want from a sports shonen show. It’s fantastic.
Please Use the Sex Well in Romance
I think there’s a real place for clean romance in the BL genre. Some of our favorites don’t involve sex being a major component of their romance narrative, but that often requires significantly more drama and better storytelling and plots. What I cannot abide is when I find myself bargaining about how a show that wants to talk about sex every episode seemingly doesn’t want to deal with sex. Romances about sex that don’t use the sex well in their stories are as bad as comedies with terrible jokes, or action flicks with no suspense and satisfying fight sequences.
Other than that, I dropped I'll Turn Back This Time. It’s just too stupid and incoherent for me to put up with it’s nonsense. Seeya next time.
#Ben watches#call me by no name#impression of youth#when it rains it pours#futtara doshaburi#gelboys the series#the boy next world#your sky#red blue the series#ossan's love thailand#thai bl#japanese bl#taiwanese bl#chinese bl#bl series#i'll turn back this time#japanese gl#gl series
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Being that I’m sick, I just had a thought. In no shape or form do I think this is any bit accurate lol, but it was a fun thought for me.
So transformers are seen as robots (because they are), but I think it’s more important to look at the alien aspect of them. They are huge mechanical beings. Living machines. Being that they are living machines they don’t exactly get sick like most biological creatures such as humans.
Cybertronian’s suffer more from wounds and other injuries than they do sickness. A Cybertronian getting sick is nearly always a death sentence. This is completely different when it comes to humans. Unlike the giant robots, we get sick often, our bodies constantly healing itself. Cybertronian’s are more equipped to handle fatal wounds than we are. What a small scrap is to them can be deadly to humans.
That being said, transformers kind of are shocked when we can survive a mild fever. Our technology to heal the sick is much more advanced than theirs. Watching a small human get something like a mild flu is really fascinating to them. In a strange way they like seeing the whole healing process of humans getting sick and then better. Our bodies are so much frailer than theirs, yet we can fight of an infection that could potentially wipe out large numbers for them.
When you are sick, expect a lot of touching for no reason. Your body is weak from whatever sickness you have, yet they can’t stop poking and feeling. Your movements are slower and you’re less aware now, in a way it’s cute to them. Strangely enough they’d probably also like the smell of sickness on a human…strange but they’d most likely find it fascinating.
There are some bots I can also see getting turned on by this. More funny than anything especially if it’s someone like Shockwave who finds these biological findings too much for his scientific brain and now wants to jerk his spike over your sleeping body. He’s thinking about how much work your body is putting in to heal itself and just gets a boner or something.
Curious to if you think any other bot would feel about it. Anyway I’ll probably forget I typed any of this up later, sorry for any inaccuracies, im too sick to think correctly 😭😭
goddamn this is so good I am a sucker for a good bot helping their human through their sickness scenario I for one am most interested in them getting a kick for taking care of their human in such an extremely fragile state. While bots like Knock Out will vehemently refuse to hang around you more than he needs to (at least you can call/text him tho) - others are a lot more willing as long as they have the time. TFP Starscream keeps complaining about how long it takes for you to recover, but you still catch him holding you in his servos when he could just as easily leave you in bed. Keeps poking/holding you in this state. Dude, you are making the recovery so much worse Optimus and Soundwave are definitely normal about it - just focusing on keeping you company during your recovery. While others want to drive you around even if you're halfway dead (looking at you Wheeljack)
#transformers x human#transformers x reader#transformers prime#maccadam#valveplug#headcanon hour#tfp starscream#tfp knock out
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Complicated (Will Graham)
Description: Will loves Y/N who is cold towards everyone but opens up to him that is until Hannibal comes along
Warning: Smut
Word Count:1,908
Request:Can you write a will graham x fem!reader where reader is an fbi agent and is working in the case with will and will starts to fall in love with her since she ‘understands’ him but she’s quite cold towards everyone can you also make her one of the best agents and Hannibal becomes quite intrigued by her could you add in will and reader smut too pls❤️
Author’s note: kind of an x Hannibal story as well. Also I misread it and thought it said to add smut and then add Will I am sorry but I hope you like it!
She took off her gloves and put them in her pocket as her and Will checked out the body. “Looks dead to me.” She said in a plain voice but Will laughed. “Yeah he certainly does.” Jack put the best agents on the Chesapeake ripper case and all week they’ve been trying to find hints, clues, anything that would give away who it was.
Y/N sighed and looked at the poor guy’s neck. “He was strangled to death.” She said and he nodded, “His lower half is missing.” She nodded. “Way to point out the obvious.” She looks at him and he smiles. They sat there and investigated the upper half of this man. Y/N making jokes with a straight face and Will laughing and adding to the jokes. Y/N was cold and distant to a lot of people. She was very professional and one of the best agents in the FBI.
Will favored her over anyone and loved her jokes even though she never has a joking tone to her voice when she speaks. He could tell her anything and she never judged him and even on rare occasions she would share some things with him. She too had sleep problems and needed therapy. She could make him smile without even trying. He wanted to tell her so badly but decided that it wasn’t right. She was too professional; there was no way that she would date him.
“You have a good night, Will Graham.” She tells him and he nods, “You as well, Y/N Y/L/N.” As she walked to her car she had a small smile on her face. Will had a huge smile as he got in his car and drove home for another restless night.
Will should have told her how he felt but once Hannibal met her he had the feeling that Hannibal also liked her but Y/N didn’t seem interested in his company as a matter of fact Y/N didn’t seem to like him at all. “You need to leave, we are working on a case Dr.Lecter.” She told him without looking at him.
Will hid a smile as Hannibal looked surprised. Not many people talked to him like that but he wasn’t offended. He was intrigued and wanted to know more about her. “I was offering my help on the case.” “We don’t need it.” Will nodded at Y/N agreeing with her. “Well I will leave you two to it.” He said and left the room.
“You don’t like him very much do you?” He asked her. She shrugged, “I don’t like many people.” She told him and he felt that. Though he had his quirks with Hannibal the guy was smart. “He shows up and thinks he knows everything and that he could help.” Y/N says and Will looks at her a little surprised. “You aren’t interested in what he has to say?” He asked her. She shrugged, “Not really.” Hannibal felt the complete opposite about her. And the next day Will would be pondered with questions about her.
“Y/N seems different.” He said to Will who was not happy about him taking interest in her. “Y/N doesn’t really like you Hannibal. I would give up now.” He told him and Hannibal looked offended. “She doesn’t even know me.” Though this was true Y/N didn’t care to get to know him at all. “She’s just like that.” Hannibal looked at him before standing up, “What makes you any different?” He asked Will. Will gave him a smile, “She likes me.” What does Will have that he doesn’t?
Y/N rolled her eyes as Hannibal walked in her office with Will and Jack. She looked up and greeted ⅔ of them. Hannibal cleared his throat but she ignored him. “Y/N this is Hannibal. You may have already met him.” Y/N nodded and looked over at the man. “He is helping us on the case.” Will said, trying to hide his annoyance. “We don’t need help, we have got this.” Y/N told Jack. Will agreed but Jack didn’t care. Y/N tried to hide her eye roll but Will saw it and smiled at her. “I promise I won’t get in the way.” Hannibal said and Y/N looked at him. This was going to be so fun.
Hannibal shared his thoughts on what he thought about the next person that was murdered. Y/N hated to admit it but he seemed to know what he was talking about. Maybe he should be in the FBI. “You are onto something Lecter.” Hannibal chuckled, “Did you just call me by my last name?” He asked with a smile.
She looked at him and shrugged, “You have been warming up to me.” He teases and she rolls her eyes. Will was the only person that she truly was comfortable around but after these past few weeks she had gotten closer to him. Will walked in and saw the smile on Hannibal’s face. He too has noticed that Y/N was warming up to Hannibal and he didn’t like it. Hannibal also could tell that Will was annoyed by it but that was more of a reason to do it.
They worked on the case and made up theories and thoughts until it was time to rest. Will left first no longer wanting to be in the room with Hannibal and his flirty comments towards Y/N. “What’s it going to take for you to let me make you dinner?” She looked over at him.
She couldn’t say exactly how she got to this point. This wasn’t like her at all. She was eating the meal that Hannibal had made her and let herself go for once and now she was on the table that they just ate off of and Hannibal was thrusting into her. Her fingers dug into the table as he rocked her and the table. His large hands gripped her hips tight enough to leave bruises, not that either of them cared right now. Her lips were swollen from kissing and taking his dick into her mouth. She was loud but not extremely loud.
Hannibal had his hips angled to hit her sweet spot so she was moaning and whining for him. He looked down at her and noticed how beautiful she was and how amazing she felt. She whined his name weakly pulling him out of his thoughts and making him thrust faster. He wished Will was here, not to join but to see him fuck the woman of his dreams.
Will would hate it but Hannibal would love it. He wrapped a hand around her throat and groaned, “Are you going to cum for me?” She nodded and was breathless. “Cum for me. Cum all over my cock and scream.” He demanded and just from that it was so easy for her. She screamed his name as she came all over him. Her body shuddered and her hips stuttered as she felt the intensity of the orgasm flow through her body. The sight of her made Hannibal cum with a moan.
The next day Will was supposed to have a session with Hannibal but Y/N was there for the case. Will had nearly walked in on them making out but Y/N stepped away before they could get caught. “What are you doing here?” Will asked her as he walked into Hannibal’s office. She held up the case file in her hand, “I believe I have the next lead.” She told him as she handed him the file. He took it but looked over at Hannibal, “We were supposed to have a session.” “Yes but Y/N said that this was important.” Will opened the file and looked through it.
Though he believed that the other man in the room had something to do with this he couldn’t shame Y/N’s effort. “So this is what we are working on today?” He asked them. Y/N nodded and sat in a chair, Will sat in the other one. He couldn’t shake off how weird it was that Y/N was in Hannibal’s house and in the office with the door closed. Come to think about it, Y/N never knew where Hannibal’s house even was…unless… He tried to ignore that thought but couldn’t.
Y/N would call him first about the case before showing Hannibal. Let alone tell him what the plan was today. He saw Hannibal not even paying attention but staring at her with hungry eyes. He had no doubt that they had slept together and maybe were about to before he came in. Anger and jealousy rose in him and he was going to confront her as soon as they left the house.
“You slept with him didn’t you?” Was the first words out of Will’s mouth once they were outside Hannibal’s house. Y/N turned to look at him with surprise. Had it been that obvious? “What makes you say that?” She asked him. He shook his head with a scoff, “You so did. You would have straight up said No and you barely show emotions through your face.” She stared at him with a straight face as he ranted. “Why does it matter?” Will couldn’t believe she would even ask that.
He thought that they had something but was proven wrong with this Hannibal situation. “Y/N you can’t be that oblivious.” She knew that Will and her were very close and before Hannibal that was the person she was closest to. “You think he’s using me for something?” Yeah she was that oblivious. “I’m in love with you!” He yells at her and her eyes widen a little. “I love you and I thought that we had something or that was a possibility but you sleep with him? You hated him when you first met him.” This was all true and Y/N couldn’t help but look down at her feet in shame. This wasn’t like her at all and if she was to sleep with anyone it would be Will. She couldn’t believe herself.
“Will I-I don’t know what to say. It’s complicated.” She admits to him and he wants to laugh. He wants to laugh in her face because what was so complicated about it. He shakes his head, “Truth be told Y/N I think he’s the Chesapeake ripper.” He walks away to his car leaving her stunned.
She couldn’t stop thinking about what Will said to her that night. She went back to being quiet during meetings and investigations and even cut ties with Hannibal. She knew that Will was smart but did she actually believe what he said? Hannibal, a killer? Hannibal was confused by her behavior. Maybe she regretted sleeping with him or maybe Will put things in her head about him. He couldn’t help but think that maybe Will was truly behind this. But she wasn’t speaking to him either. Actually she was avoiding them both.
But for different reasons. Will loves her and maybe she feels the same way back and Hannibal could be the killer that they are looking for. She sat in her bed staring at the pictures of all the bodies that they found. Could Hannibal actually be capable of doing all of this? She thought back to all he was saying about the killer and how he did seem to understand things even though he was a therapist. She reached for her phone and called Will, he answered and she sighed before talking, “So Hannibal’s the Chesapeake ripper.”
#hugh dancy#hannibal nbc#hannibal lecter#hannibal#mads mikkelsen#will graham#will graham imagine#will graham smut#will graham x reader#hannibal lecter smut#hannibal lecter x reader#hannibal lecter x you#hannibal lecter x will graham
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YESYES YES YES YES
I LOVE ME A SLOWBURN , ANGSTY , HURT/COMFORT , FUCKING . FLUFFY DOMESTIC ASS ERRORINK AND I ADORE THEM SO GREATLY ..
The way you write this all out , HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REPLY WITHOUT JUST NODDING WTF ??
The way you have Error view it all as well ??? SO FUCKING GOOD . I LOVE IT . I LOVE IT SO DEARLY WHAT …
Looks over toward my Ink-centric blog ,, yeah , I uh . I don’t often think about Error’s side of the relationship AS MUCH as Ink’s , but thats because I’ve !! Never been the Error person ,,
I’m not a writer ,, I’m a roleplayer , FORGIVE ME …
But I adore when people share his side of things in correlation to how Ink would view it because !! OH MY GOD ?!? LOVELY ??
One thing I do like exploring , more on Error’s side , which both art and writing is his Haphephobia — because ,, he’s canonically held hands with someone before ( an anon I think ?? ) and people make it seem like . He doesn’t allow for any contact ever at all , which is fair !! But I don’t personally agree ..?? I also never liked it when it was disregarded entirely though , because it’s a part of his character ! I like when it’s treated very realistically .. like , yeah ! This is a fear , it’s irrational ( for the most part ) and he will struggle , but it also gets better overtime with certain people when it’s worked on . . Which is how it had worked with some of my friends in the past and more currently ! While it’s not the same for everyone , I really think Error’s would be more like that ??
ALSO THE GLITCHING HURTS . CHRONIC PAIN HAVER . It’s another reason he has haphephobia , it does hurt ! . . Which makes it hurt more because he’s freaking out and it causes more glitching , so his phobia hurts , touching hurts , it’s a double whammy -
Next to Ink who doesn’t feel next to any actual pain - Ink would associate pain with like - discomfort , like he’s not in pain , but he says “ow” anyways because it SHOULD hurt type of deal !
I also love when people really allow Error to be irrational as a character as a whole ! Because . He is delusional , irrational , and a little stupid and I LOVE HIM FOR THAT .. I don’t see many people really . Allowing him to feel like a mentally unstable person without him being infantilized in some way - which sucks ! Because sometimes he is portrayed to be like that and he’s just seen as a Manchild or immature , when .. he’s just . Having a moment of madness ! Sorry I don’t know how to explain this very well , I’m not used to expressing my views on this man jshskshs -
ALSO THAT FUCKING ART IS BANGER , WTF ,, my beloveds ?? I ADORE ?? HI . You’re iconic , what the hell man !!
Can you guys tell I have a favorite pair of sillies yet . . .
#NO WORRIES ABOUT ANYTHING MAN#IM JUST HERE .. LOSING MY MIND SLOWLY ..#also welcome to the anxiety gang ( it’s shitty here )#I don’t have social anxiety though - but that’s irrelevant !#also I LOVE PEOPLE WHO CAN REALLY GO OFF ABOUT ERROR SANS .. it’s like#my even match 😈#except I’m not fighting them .. I’m giggling and kicking my feet like a little girl#I think about Error sans and his phobia and mental state a lot -#I like seeing myself in pieces of media .. and disordered thinking and delusions are a part of my life whether I like it or not so !!#he’s just a little guy#Errorink but they’re the opposite of toxic yaoi ..#Errorink but let them be so SICKENINGLY HEALTHY .. SO DISGUSTINGLY UNDERSTANDING AND CRUELLY FLUFFY#Errorink but I feel PAIN from their joy and whimsy#fluff after the angst#post-angst fluff I fear ….
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🚨🚨🚨THIS IS URGENT PLEASE DO NOT SCROLL. PLEASE REBLOG🚨🚨🚨
Hello everyone. It has been multiple days of posting. Many reblogs and no donations. This isn't unheard of, across the board multiple Palestinans have talked about how their posts have stagnated. Those who collect esims and who run larger campaigns to collect funds have spoken about how their engagements have dropped and they are receiving much less than they did last year. And I feel the same here, I'm not entirely sure of the origin of the change but I do feel there was a lot more help before. And maybe people are working with less, maybe they're tired, maybe the algorithm is supressing things. Maybe multiple reasons, but still i want to make sure that Shimaa and her family get the help they need like anyone in Palestine should be getting help needed. People are facing lack of food as aid is not allowed into Palestine or when it is it is subpar if not dangerous (being expired or poisoned for instance), people are in danger just moving from place to place. I particularly am helping Shimaa to campaign towards being able to help her family have food and toiletries and they are one of the many people that are hoping to rebuild their home. Our current goal is 350. And we have yet to receive any aid for this one. And I'm not sure what else to say. No one has to give like the whole thing or like 100 dollars but a little bit could help because from many people small additions really add up. But no contributions means we stay where we are and it will take that much longer for help to reach Shimaa and her family. So, please help if you can. If you are unable to, at least continue to reblog and contribute, even if you see older posts because they have the same links and if it works it works, anyway help can be received is gladly appreciated. @im-smart-i-swear is also still doing commissions in exchange of proof of your help
GOAL: 0/350
#random#art#art commisions#pink#blue#Orange#taylor swift#superbowl 2k25#superbowl 2025#philadelphia eagles#kansas city chiefs#cats
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I honestly don’t post about any sports all that often. But this Super Bowl compelled me to write this.
Now, right out the gate I will tell you I am a KC Chiefs fan. I was born one. I am a third-generation fan, going back to my grandpa who picked them at 19 when they were a godawful team and barely televised through my mom’s childhood, because only the good teams were televised then — so if they could watch them, it was to watch them get POUNDED.
I got to watch them win a Super Bowl after a 50 year drought. It was an exhilarating feeling, especially since I was constantly picked on at school by a classmate because of my team (he would go out of his way to harass me whenever his team — Ravens, btw — beat the Chiefs. And he was blissfully quiet the whole day after).
I got to see them win another one two years ago, in the affectionately nicknamed Kelce Bowl because of the Kelce brothers playing against each other. That was a fun year.
And another one after that.
Am I all that cut up about them losing this year?
No. I am not. Because I know it’s just a game. The dudebros need to chill out fr.
But I also know that this year…it wasn’t quite just a game, either. There’s other forces at play.
I honestly had no idea that some of the major Chiefs players supported trump until today. Just before I started writing this, in fact. I didn’t know trump wanted them to win either.
There was a bad taste in my mouth when I found that out.
I don’t consider myself to be a fanatic fan. But I am a proud fan. Someone once called me a bandwagon and I got offended.
But. But.
I am not a fan of this. Of the support and cozying up to of fascism, racism, queerphobia, you name it. It boggles my mind too because there are Black players on the Chiefs, there are Black players who CARRY the NFL’s legacy on their backs, and to support the trump administration is to take away their support.
You know what I am a fan of?
The political message of Kendrick Lamar’s halftime show.
I have never listened to any of Kendrick’s discography. I’ve never really been all that into hip hop or rap (my whiteness is showing I know).
Honestly, while I was watching, a lot of what was going on flew over my head. And I also had a hard time hearing the lyrics 🫣 again, not used to this genre of music 😅
But that’s what I thank tumblr for. Tumblr always has a way of bringing the unknown into the spotlight, and expanding my own knowledge on it.
I am very much not knowledgeable on the Black history surrounding Kendrick’s performance. But looking back, with a fresh set of eyes, what I do know and have put in effort to learn starts to be clear.
And I think it was genius. I think Kendrick Lamar’s performance is what saved this Super Bowl for me because I am vastly disappointed in my team right now, and still would have been even if they won.
I do not begrudge the Eagles their win. After all, this was a rematch 😜 Only fair you have your time to shine.
But in all seriousness, I think I prefer a loss to a win simply because I would not be able to enjoy that win knowing what I do now.
Besides. if it comes with the bonus of trump’s night being ruined? having to live with spending TAXPAYER MONEY (my money!!) to go and watch the game only to leave halfway through because Kendrick called him out? good. I can handle the sidelong taunts about the Chiefs and their bad decisions. I am mature enough to see that.
I am mature enough to see that an Eagles win, packed with Kendrick Lamar ripping the right a new one, is a win for us all — Chiefs fans included.
The next four years will be tough. But with such a spectacular performance? The trans flag? The Palestine and Sudan flag? Everything?
I think we have what we need to keep fighting. Kendrick, Chappell Roan, Lady Gaga, all of these artists lending their voices to support those who will be grievously impacted by what comes next is so important, especially at events like the Grammies and the Super Bowl. It shows that people care.
It shows that we can always care.
It’s just a game, yeah. But now it’s so much more.
#super bowl 2025#free gaza#palestine#free sudan#sudan#kendrick lamar#philadelphia eagles#kc chiefs#fuck trump#us politics#lady gaga#chappell roan#trans#transgender#trans rights#quivering because I always stress over posting fandom opinions#and this is me getting POLITICAL now#alder gets political on main everyone stay calm#anyway I think I’ll check out kendrick now#correct my egregious oversight#and grow *at least* an *appreciation* for hip hop/rap#I recognized sza tho!#mostly from kill bill
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hey! so the intro for this is weird but pls hear me out
yesterday night while walking home from a bar with friends, a group of men probably about my age (early-mid 20s) in a large truck started shouting queer slurs at us then threatened to kill me 😬
my nerves are still a little frazzled but my stupid brain is currently attempting to manage these anxieties about what happened by going “hmm I wonder how the batkids would have responded if they saw that happen”
so I was just wondering if you had any kinda headcanons or anything about how any of the batkids would handle a scenario like this :) I know this is kinda heavy haha so pls don’t feel like you gotta respond to this but I really like your writings and thought it was worth a shot to reach out and ask :) thank you!
(also, my friends and I did make a report and we’re currently talking with the civil rights division of our local gov’t about handling this case as a hate crime so we are in the midst of handling it)
oh my god, i am so sorry this happened to you. i am glad you put charges and dealing with the situation, though. be careful, and i hope you are recovering well.
Bruce, i feel like, would try to charm his way out of this at first since he doesn't need additional interent drama. maybe he will try to smile politely and go along lines like, "oh, is that supposed to be offensive?" but if the situation escalates, he will not be afraid just to fight them off. who would blame him, anyway?
i have a feeling that Dick doesn't like fighting on the streets as well, and he usually tries to escalate the fight, only ever using it as the last resort. i also think that if someone picks up on him at night, he just decides to creep out everyone by using his amazing gymnastics. like, imagine him just turning his head around like an owl, cracking bones like in horror and pretending to be a spider — men will run away in the instant. without a fight. that's effective.
Cassandra is not a one to deal with bullshit like this. she doesn't acknowledge these people at all, but if they start to actively catch her attention and cause a fight, she will first offer the scariest death stare to ever exist. people mostly scram afterwards, but if someone didn't, she will nonchalantly break the bones of their arm. as a threat.
you see, Jason probably is not getting annoyed by people like this. who would pick up on a fucking double-fridge, right? i think he mostly spawns behind his siblings' backs when someone picks up on them and terrifies tf out of others. but if someone did risk their lives, i think Jason would either just point a gun silently (if he is in a bad mood) or start roast these people so much, they would leave.
oh, Tim. Tim is gracious about it. someone starts haunting him on the streets, so he wordlessly records a video, and while that person still screams at him, he calls his lawyer. they will get charged and outed in the news for this faster than they will finish their attempts to terrify Tim.
Steph starts shouting back. she is so loud about it that people usually start gathering around them, and she starts making him join the conversation, too. "just look at this weirdo, huh! hey, hey, you, look at him and tell me — isn't he fucking insane?" and stuff. she is equally good at escalating the fight to the reaching point of just make people leave embarrassed, depending on the situation.
baby Damian definitely doesn't even understand the meaning of slurs — his family is adequate, and he is a sheltered kid in a way, so he has no idea what all that means. but he feels a threatening aura. he first reminds people who he is, giving a chance to escape... and when it is not working, someone is about to get stabbed.
Duke tries to joke it off first. like, in a "oh, from all slurs, i got called *this*? that's something new, buddy, kudos" kind of way. if it doesn't work and people continue annoying him, he simply fights these people. he doesn't care much.
#sorry for answering late btw my inbox works... funky#— lie's rambling#dcu comics#dc universe#dcu#batman#batfamily#batfam
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Armieeeee, more and more proud of him! He is an excellent father - you can fault the man in many ways and he is not a perfect person, but one thing is undeniable is he loves his children and will do anything for them. I was not even a fan of his but the more I see lately of him the more he gains my respect. On a separate note I am truly worried about Tim - he behaved oddly at the Japan premiere and no I don’t mean the outfit etc. I really hope he is ok and no on the way to rehab.
yes, agree with you anon 😍 Armie is really an incredible man and a loving father. I think I couldn't love him more, seriously.
and of course he's not perfect, he's a human being who has made mistakes and has his faults exactly like all of us but when I think back to everything he has gone through, not only in recent years but at many times of his life, managing to get out without changing himself and yet being still able to be a good man, I feel deeply proud of him. 💙
about Tim, I see him very tired, under pressure and certainly undertone but it must be said that the last period has been really heavy for him even if with great professional rewards. I think he's somehow like turned off, probably also worn out by certain situations not strictly linked to his work.
having said that and despite all this, I know it’s unpopular opinion here but I see he's still the same old Tim and has not changed at all.
I think it's just we often forget that he too, just like Armie, in the end he's only a human being far from perfection and with a life probably much more complicated, and sometimes harder, than the one we can see out there. ❤️
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/da68042a65a78ca011b00965f13f8c3e/02fdda04c08b229d-15/s540x810/46afcbf19495aaaad424352c742893e66690357f.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4c0b2bf8f232ceecf303b9d78f501b18/02fdda04c08b229d-a3/s540x810/68a1f46f44df41be9871f1f93ffe54ff645b5e6e.jpg)
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sorry for informality but i was stalking reading your pinned post and you’re in grad school at twenty!??!!!
unless i’m tripping or misunderstanding something, academic weapon tips please because holy shit that’s insane! what’s ur field of study if you want to talk about it/don’t mind me asking? any application tips/things you wished you knew before getting there/habits you wished you’d formed sooner? independent research has always been difficult for me because of how much i depend on structure (adhd imposter syndrome anxiety lets go) so if you’re working on a thesis/something similar, how has the process been in your experience?
i’m in undergrad atm and heavily debating going further, so i’d love to hear from someone my age who’s actually doing it! also unrelated, but i’m a certified notion/goodnotes girlie if you vibe with those as study resources!
🎸 tagging with an emoji in case i pop back around, yk?
I'm sorry to say, but my tips might come off as sort of typical... but I hope they're at least a little helpful!
I am currently in a masters program within the analytics field. Research/independent studies vary widely depending on the area of specialization, however, my program has an intensive practicum that is similar in nature. I have not started it yet, but what I can say for sure when it comes to research: make sure you are picking a topic that you could speak about for hours/answer argumentative questions about.
For applications, I would say to narrow your options down as much as possible and look into each program before applying. Know the curriculum and standard outline and what stands out to you as you decide.
^ on this same note, you will likely need at least one interview in the application process. Speak slowly and enunciate. Taking a moment to think of the proper words will always be better than speaking quickly without much thought. Most people say to use "down-speak" in these interviews, but in my experience, matching the examiners tone and energy makes the whole thing much more comfortable.
For study tips, I have a large notebook that I keep on my desk where I write down every assignment and the date that it is due. This is just for organization purposes, I find a physical copy helpful for a few reasons but also because crossing them off feels rewarding :]
Time managment is incredibly important. Everyone says this because it is true. Prep everything, organizing your day into chunks. Since you also like structure, this probably wont be an issue. I would also get comfortable with being self-aware of your priorities. There will come a time when you will need to choose between academics/work and other areas of your life.
Keep your spaces clean. Dedicate a day or so to just organizing/doing a deep clean. It will help you stay focused and minimize external anxiety. It’s also much easier to keep a place clean if you have put in such an effort.
Participate in class. I cannot make this clear enough. I promise it is not embarrassing to ask questions or "try". You will learn far easier if you put effort into the classroom/lecture setting.
It is a pretty typical "tip" is to just ask questions. Even if you feel like you might understand, just ask to make sure. And in this same vein, go to office hours if you need to.
Prioritize sleep lol, that and mental rest. You can't always be studying. For me, it is a real challenge to work and be full time in school so it's important to carve out those sections of "you time".
Try not to be on your phone tooooooooo much, I know it’s hard but I make an effort to not be on my phone while eating. Don’t use entertainment as a distraction, I find that it just delays anxiety :(
Lastly, apply for scholarships and know that you absolutely can appeal for more money.
I hope this was useful. Do know that it REALLY depends on your area of study and 5-year-plan. I would recommend not going to grad school unless you're absolutely sure it is worth it.
Good luck!
#aboutretiredteabag#I'm sure you're doing great!#The fact that you're thinking about the future shows that you care#I cannot highlight enough how important self care is as well#definitely prevents burn out#this is probably self-explanitory#but also be sure you know why you are going to grad school and what you want to do with your degree#I keep hearing horror stories about that...#anyway#congrats on uni and I hope you have a happy#healthy#and peaceful academic year!#yall are my favorite 🫶
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Dae-ho tic where him and reader always sabotage each others relationships/talking stages with other people because they want each other but are afraid to say it
4 attempts
Kang Dae-ho (player 388) x fem!reader
A/N- I giggled writing this!
Warning- Angst and fluff!!
————
1st attempt-
This first sabotage was as simple as breathing. Maybe Dae-ho is being cocky, or your possible boyfriend was insecure, but it truly was a simple task. Dae-ho happened to catch that you were going to hang out at your house and he came stumbling by at your door.
“Dae-ho,” you stammer with surprise as you see him outside your door.
Said man smiles his charming smile and holds your gaze. “Hey, sorry for not calling beforehand but I was in the neighborhood and I had this,” he says as he shows off one of your favorite desserts, replacing your annoyance with temptation.
“You’re not going out right?” He follows his comment with a question he knows the answer to.
“No, but I have someone over. A date. Potential boyfriend,” you reveal, but it doesn’t bring him any surprise, he pretends to be shocked but he knows that too.
“Well I am your best friend,” he points out. “I need to meet him anyway. What harm can it bring?”
You contemplate his comment and also glance at the bag in his hand as if that delicious dessert is what is winning you over, but the truth is a part of you is relieved he’s here, interrupting this moment. You don’t let yourself accept that but you are and that part of yourself that is steps back to open the door wider so he may walk in.
When you close the door behind him your date interjects with a question as he walks over. “Who was it?”
When he makes it to the entrance of the house he comes to a sudden halt and straightens up as he sees Dae-ho at your side with a small smile that was too smug rather than friendly.
“Kang Dae-ho, her best friend,” he introduces himself and then gets closer to your date to offer him his hand.
Your date glances at his hand with his breath caught in his throat and then looks over at you with uncertainty before drawing out a deep breath and taking Dae-ho’s hand without meeting his eye.
“I am sorry for intruding,” Dae-ho doesn’t fail to be respectful as he makes himself at home right away and walks to the dining table to set his stuff down. “But I was in the neighborhood and bought some of her favorite dessert and well what friend would I be if I didn’t share?” Dae-ho says as you quickly join him while your date follows behind slowly, catching your eagerness that you failed to show him.
“However, I am sorry that I didn’t bring you any. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” your date quickly assures him as he finally reaches the table.
Dae-ho flashes him a faint smile before he reaches in the bag and pulls out a small box and napkin and hands it to you. He doesn’t finish there though, he pulls out a drink kept inside the bag and as if expecting it, you take it without so much as looking, letting your date know for certain what he needs to do.
So by morning, just as Dae-ho wanted, your date cut all communication with you with a blunt text.
——
2nd attempt-
Failing is hardly something you did. Sure you do fail from time to time, you are only human, but it’s not something you let slide often, but today…today was one of those days. You failed horribly.
“You’re his best friend, you know him more than anyone could so tell me honestly what he's like,” Dae-ho’s date tries to interrogate you out of genuine curiosity. With no ill intent. You recognize that with the way she carries herself, the way she acts, and the way she looks at him with genuine interest and affection. Maybe that’s what makes you fail or maybe it’s what she says next
”I really like him,” she says. “I just want to know if I'm wasting my time and getting my hopes up to later get them crushed.”
Your stomach twists and irritation rushes through your veins. You don’t even take time to question yourself if you want to shatter her feelings and stomp on her illusions, that irritation takes over before you know it.
“He may be my friend but,” you pause and take a step closer to her. “I have to be honest because no one else will,” you speak with a honey-laced voice. “He’s not particularly loyal. It may seem like that now but in a couple weeks he will be texting other girls. It happened last time.”
The girl’s lashes bat as she deals with the disappoint you just hit her with and steps away as she ducks her head.
“If only I warned you before you came,” you say as you reach over and pat her hand. “Just don’t tell him I told you so.”
You finish with a sweet smile and stroke her hand before you walk out a bit too overzealous, but how could you not be?
You might have failed at containing your…burning feelings, but what you told Dae-ho’s date worked because by the next day she asked him out for coffee and ended things with him.
——
3rd attempt-
Maybe it’s the men you date, or maybe men in particular happen to be more jealous than women but don’t dare to admit it. Or maybe, just maybe, it was Dae-ho stepping over the line. Again.
Whether he meant to or not it didn’t matter. You were at the concert of your favorite artist and Dae-ho happened to be there too. It was on purpose, he happened to like that artist too so why would he miss it?
Now you were at two separate sides of the stadium, but when it came down to it, when you were drunk off the excitement, Dae-ho made his way to you and there was no stopping either of you now.
You both sang at the top of your lungs, jumped, and danced like no one was watching when someone was. Your boyfriend. He was next to you, but with Dae-ho there and stepping over the line, singing with you, and dancing too close for comfort, it’s like your boyfriend didn’t exist. He didn’t even feel like a third wheel because he felt invisible.
Or you just didn’t care about him when it came to Dae-ho. Maybe Dae-ho is all you need. He’s all you care about—no, he’s the one person you care about most in this world so no one else can even be at his level.
It was easy to see, and it was even more obvious that Dae-ho recuperated those feelings with the way he looked at you so affectionately and beamed at you so brightly. He laughs at the little things you say and can never keep his eyes off you; it’s like he’s making sure nothing or no one causes you any harm.
He may be charming and look like he could not harm a fly, but anyone could see how protective Dae-ho was without having to even bare his teeth.
Yet that’s not what sent your boyfriend fleeing, it was a smaller fact. A gesture that could mean nothing but can also mean the world. You shared a drink. You had finished yours so Dae-ho said you could drink from his cup, and that’s what hurt your boyfriend the most because he looked down at his own cup and it was still halfway full, making it just enough to share with you, but you didn’t even look his way. Not even to ask to buy some more, so when he could, he broke up with you, giving Dae-ho a win.
——
Last attempt-
If things were simple you would be able to accept your feelings. You would be happy with the person you think about the most. The one person you love more than life itself, but here you are, with makeup running down your cheeks in a restaurant after a man you hardly liked confessed to cheating on you.
Maybe you should’ve expected it. It’s karma after what you’ve done to sabotage Dae-ho’s relationship, but it didn’t stop it from hurting.
As to why your boyfriend told you in a restaurant of all places? You don’t know, but it made it worse; knowing all the people are staring, and listening in to the drama that unfolded before them.
Yet your embarrassment is not what sends you fleeing. You could have walked out when you were collected and no longer had makeup staining your cheeks, but you can’t handle the pain, you can’t contain the ball of emotions that keeps growing and makes your throat and eyes burn, so you swiftly grab all your belongings and storm out of the restaurant. In doing so, on your way out, you bump into none other than your best friend Dae-ho.
At first, he didn’t recognize you, but it does hit him once you’re out the door that it was you. So with a quick dismissive comment over his shoulder to his date, he runs after you.
Dae-ho calls out to you as you storm away with your arms wrapped around your body to keep as much warmth as possible on this winter night, but you don’t stop, so without so much as thinking about his date, he runs after you to catch up. Once he’s close enough he grabs your shoulder before you can take another step and turns you around.
When you look him in the eye and realize it’s not your boyfriend but Dae-ho, you break down into a sob. “Dae-ho,” you mewl.
Said man looks at you like he’s been wounded and grabs your shoulders. “What’s wrong? What happened?” He quickly bombards you with questions.
You sniffle and part your lips. “My boyfriend, he—he.” You can’t even finish what you’re going to say because of how choked up you get, and he doesn’t wait or pester you to finish. He immediately wraps his arms around you and hugs you against him, basking you in his warmth and comfort.
“It’s gonna be okay,” he tries to soothe you as he rubs your back. “You’re going to be okay.”
You let out another shaky sob and grip onto him so he wouldn’t let go. Neither of you proceed to utter a thing, you stand under the falling snow and let the bitterness nip at any exposed skin it can reach.
It’s only once your shoulders stop shaking and Dae-ho’s date is long gone after being forgotten, that you pull away, but he doesn’t let you stray far, he cups your jaw and holds your gaze with tenderness.
“He cheated on me,” you whisper hoarsely, making him sigh with pity.
“I’m sorry,” he says as he strokes your cheeks with the tip of his cold fingers. “He’s an asshole.”
You nod gently and sniffle again. “I don’t even know why I dated him. I didn’t even like him, but I thought maybe…just maybe it would help.”
Dae-ho blinks with confusion and he quickly he follows up on your question. “Help what?”
You avert your gaze and sniffle. Your pause lasts for a moment. It’s only when his hand falls on your shoulder and the other falls at his side that you speak up.
“Forget my feelings for you.”
A cloud of Dae-ho’s breath forms in the space past his lips as he can’t help but gasp.
“I went into that relationship knowing what I felt, but I also know that you don’t feel the same and I can’t possibly live with that so I had to forget, but he…” you trail off and slowly lift your gaze, meeting his bewildered eyes.
“Who,” he stammers and you lose all contact with him as he pulls his hand off your shoulder. “Why…why would you think I don’t have the same feeling you do? I love you,” he admits, stealing your breath and making you feel as if you’re out of this world.
“All this time,” he adds as he watches you work through your disbelief. “I was just…scared that it would ruin us. If I had known—all those dates I’ve been on…” he trails off and grabs your shoulders so you can look him in the eyes as he then continues firmly. “…If it’s true that you feel what I do, tell me and I will stop wasting my time with nobodies.”
You blink in disbelief and your lips part because of the same feelings.
It’s hard to process the fact that he shares the same love you have for him, but that fear of letting him know no longer exists. You’re just hesitant because you’re still caught in disbelief.
“I…I do,” you confess slowly, making him beam at you before he presses his forehead against yours.
“I was going to kiss you, but I think it would be wrong considering…” he doesn’t finish saying but you know he’s referring to your situation.
“Hm,” you hum and grab his face this time to press a light kiss on his lips. “For warmth.” You giggle.
He can’t stop smiling. His smile brightens as he keeps you close with the intention to not let you stray from him anymore.
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