#i don’t need much money for uni anyways since it’s not not that bad in Spain

[butchxenomorph]

going off to boarding school in 2 weeks (long story explaining in tags) for senior year and the off to uni… it’s crazy. i’m leaving home so soon. my relationship with my parents is… messy but i’m gonna make them anyways. i’m such a huge change. i’m not sure than im ready but i don’t really have a choice so i

[fairyofshampgyu]

Now Live: Stream 4

Genre: smut, camboy au, college au, crack

Pairing: camboy! Beomgyu x gn reader (afab when smut)

Warnings: camboy, sub! beomgyu, dom! reader, solo beomgyu, vibrating cock ring, voyeurism

Synopsis: Every Thursday night at 8pm, you tune into your favourite camboy: Angel313. What you don’t know is he even goes to the same uni as you, is in the same class as you and is Choi Beomgyu, the campus fuckboy but will you keep his secret?

Word count: 2.9k

“Wait so you used to watch my streams all the time?” Beomgyu looks at you all cocky as you both walked to the uni’s concert hall, music sheets in both your hands of the arrangements you had finally finished to show the ensemble to play. “That’s so adorable. I appreciate my fans so much, I really do.” He presses his hand to his chest dramatically.

“Shut up.” You elbow his side, causing the music sheets in his hand to fall on the ground in the chilly and windy breeze.

“Owww. Hey! You should help me pick those up!”

You don’t, carrying on strolling as he speedily grabbed the sheets, racing to walk beside you again.

“What was your username, come on tell me. Don’t be embarrassed.” He looks at you with a shit eating grin.

“I’m not telling you.”

“Come onn! I think I deserve to know!”

“No.”

“But-”

“-No.”

“Why not?!”

You give it some thought whether you should tell him or not but he probably would never let it go if you didn’t. Sighing, you decide to just let it out. “I was…user seggsysax…”

Beomgyu bursts into a fit of laughter in disbelief, “You were seggsysax?!” He can’t stop laughing and you just stand, staring at him with a deadpan gaze. “I always see your username in every single one of my lives! Even from the very start! Wow. Thank you for being such a loyal fan.” He laughs even more, “I thought your username was weird though.”

You roll your eyes, slightly embarrassed. “I play saxophone! And…it’s sexy? I don’t know I just came up with anything! Will you stop laughing?!” But beomgyu looks like he’s about to hurtle to the ground any second.

You make it to the concert hall, waiting for the other musicians to start coming in. Strings, woodwind, brass, and percussionists to sit in their assigned positions, you and beomgyu handing out the scores on the music stands.

“Hello! I’m Beomgyu and this is Y/n. We’re the two organisers of the music department’s Christmas performance this year.” Beomgyu introduces you both cheerily once everyone settles in and begins to explain what will be happening.

And then you all start practicing and learning the pieces, you and beomgyu taking it in turns to conduct and play and telling them how certain sections should sound like. It was already beginning to come together and was already sounding great.

You were actually pretty excited about it, people coming up to praise you both on how you’ve arranged it after it had finished and you and beomgyu giving each other a little fist bump once they all left.

“So, you’re gonna be my manager or whatever then? What are you even gonna do?” Beomgyu asks, both of you at his place, sitting on his comfy bed after practice to discuss your earlier proposition.

“Well, since I’ve watched a lot of camboys and have been part of your audience, I could give you input and ideas on what other watchers would want and like so we can make more money. I could also help you film everything since it must be hard trying to film it yourself and I’ll monitor what people comment and what gets you more tips.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Alright then. Interview’s over. Sure, you’re my manager now I guess. Why do you want to though anyway?”

“Because I am broke as hell and couldn’t find any part time jobs and this doesn’t seem that bad. Why did you start being a camboy?”

“I’m also broke and need to pay off my college tuition.” Beomgyu shrugs his shoulders, “I stumbled across a camboy once and thought hey! I can make money at home just jerking off so…”

You nod, “Yeah, you’re good at it.”

He smiles at your praise, eyes scrunching into little crescent moons and cheeks blushing, “Thanks!” Clearly, he likes compliments. It’s kinda really cute. You clear your head at the last comment-Off topic, off topic.

“So…why don’t we try out and film something now?” You suggest nonchalantly.

“What? Like, right now?” Beomgyu’s eyes pop out his sockets.

“Yeah if you want to”

“O-okay. Y-yeah, yeah...”

He gives you your phone so you can set everything up, putting it on the tripod and angling the cameras to one of his bare walls, ready to stream. “What should I do?” Beomgyu asks shyly.

“I don’t know. Do you have somewhere where you keep all your toys and stuff?”

So he goes to his wardrobe, getting a pink box at the back and opening it for you to look at a variety of little vibes, dildos, plugs and many other things. Your eyes catch a vibrating cock ring you’ve never seen before.

“Oh I haven’t seen you use that before.” You point at it.

“Yeah I got it recently.”

“Do you wanna use it today? I bet the viewers would go crazy. It’s pretty.”

“Y-yeah okay then.” Beomgyu’s voice suddenly sounding mouse-like.

Beomgyu starts changing out of his clothes to put on his usual thigh highs and putting the cock ring on with slightly shaking hands. He doesn’t know whether he should tell you to look away since you’ll literally be watching him anyway and it’s not like you’ve never seen him naked, given you’ve watched multiple of his streams.

But you turn your head anyway, taking your phone out and going on it, acting as if you were extremely busy replying to life changing messages. You just had twitter up and kept refreshing it.

Once he was done you look up, not daring to look anywhere but his face. He passes the controller to the vibrator to you, averting your gaze as well.

“You want me to do it?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then. Should I start the stream now?”

He nods and positions himself where you set the tripod and then you press the live button. Loads of users washing in and beomgyu says his usual greetings and welcomes to them.

After that he looks at you as if to indicate for you to start the controller and so you do, putting it on a low setting. Beomgyu also starts to fuck himself along with it, pumping his dick with his hands, slowly.

Beomgyu is beyond embarrassed right now. Whilst he’s fucked himself for thousands of people to watch, it’s incredibly different to this right now. A real person, right in front of him. Someone he knows. It made him so nervous, especially with your firm gaze on him, you not saying or visibly reacting to anything he’s doing making him even more squirmy. Somehow though, he thinks it’s making him even more turned on with you right there watching him. What was this weird feeling? What were you thinking of him right now?

You press one of the buttons to the controller even higher. Beomgyu looking at you with wide eyes as he carried on stroking his cock with the added vibrations, not even looking anywhere else but your face at this point, completely forgetting there was another audience watching him right now besides you, but he doesn’t bother checking the comments this time as he moans, feeling the pleasure overtaking him. He can’t believe he’s acting like this in front of you. Literally moaning with you right there. Because of you.

You know you shouldn’t feel like this at all. Like, absolutely at all. It was so, so wrong for you to feel like this but watching beomgyu like this, falling apart in front of you, stroking his dick shyly, you controlling his pleasure made you so unbelievably aroused. You could moan yourself to be honest.

You’d think that knowing Angel was actually beomgyu would make you stop feeling attracted to Angel at all, but you’re starting to think it’s only increased it. You watched every one of his streams, your favourite camboy and you’d fuck yourself as well while watching him, thinking he was perfect. And now, he was a mere few feet away from you. In real life. Fucking himself whilst you got to watch. In person. What you used to watch on your laptop screen doesn’t even compare to the real thing. His moans, reactions, body even prettier in real life.

The amount of willpower it took to not go and just fuck him right there. But that would be so wrong. It’s beomgyu. Not Angel. Well, actually you’re a bit confused now. But either way, it would be so wrong. Especially since you’re just his manager now. You’re professionally working with him. You can’t do that.

You turn the button up to the highest beomgyu looking at you fearfully and throwing his head back, whining. He slows his movements down on his dick for a second but you give him a glare as if to say ‘don’t you dare’ so he doesn’t, whimpering as he continued to stroke his dick for you.

You look at the comments to see viewers confused on whose controlling the cock ring since that’s never happened before, but they find it hot, him not not knowing what’s gonna happen.

He squishes his legs together, pumping his dick faster, eyes facing the ceiling and moans increasing and you know he’s just about to cum, seeing the scene loads of times before to know when he’s just on the verge. You press the button multiple times to go to one of the more lower settings, beomgyu snapping his head to you, distraught from not getting his high yet.

Then you go again, pressing it to the highest immediately, making beomgyu’s body jerk from the shock. He stills his hand for a second but knows better than to stop, so he just keeps jerking himself off until he’s about to cum again which doesn’t take long at all. And then you make it go to a low vibration again, beomgyu whining out loud at you. Then you start it all over again.

His hands go up to hide his face, embarrassed from the sounds he’s making in front of you and the reactions he’s making. “Y-y/n…!” Beomgyu whimpers out your name accidentally, from you still not letting him cum.

His comments go absolutely crazy. Everyone wondering who the new person behind the camera was on Angel’s channel.

@iheartsubby324: Whose y/n?!!?!?! Does he finally have a fuck buddy for himself after all this time? We’ve been telling him.

@angelsno1fan: Fuck that’s not fair. I wish I could be doing that to him right now. 😩

Many other users in all caps shouting from the screens, going mad that for the first time, Angel has someone else there. Of course you’re literally just his manager/kinda camera person helper but they don’t know that. You know if you were watching that right now you’d also be going crazy.

You let the cock ring stay on the high setting this time and beomgyu’s movements go faster on his cock, his thighs shaking together as he closes them shut again, cock twitching in the vibrating ring and he cums everywhere with a strangled pretty moan, more cum coming out of him due to the cock ring.

He can’t believe he just came in front of you. He’s never done anything like that in real life before in front of someone ever. He’s embarrassed to say he kinda liked it. But also embarrassed he just did that.

Fuck, that’s literally hottest thing ever and you got to see it in person. It was also painful to just sit there and watch. You continue to just stare it at him with your mouth slightly parted, he looked so gorgeous like that, panting, eyelids fluttering, cum covering him—you need to stop. That’s beomgyu!

You check to see how much money he just made. It was more than usual you don’t why. It wasn’t really anything different.

You wait for beomgyu on his bed as he takes a shower, feeling incredibly awkward and tense, swinging your legs off the bed. Then beomgyu walks out the bathroom, making you jump. His hair wet and masking his eyes, he dries his long hair with a towel not looking anywhere near you, you could also see how awkward he felt. Most people looked like ugly drenched rats when they came out the shower but he looked kinda…attractive-off topic! Off topic again! Beomgyu picks up his phone when a notification buzzes.

“My friend’s having a party right now. Wanna go?” Beomgyu asks, trying to ease the tension away. Just act like it never happened for now.

“Of course you have a party to go to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Well, are you coming or not?”

“Fine. I don’t really have anything better to do.”

You walk into Choi Yeonjun’s house, one of beomgyu’s other playboy friends, music—if you’d even call that music—blaring, making your ears slightly hurt and shit-faced people frolicking about, some play beer pong and other stereotypical house party games. Ah, how serene.

Beomgyu approaches Kang Taehyun and you follow as he excitedly jumped on his shoulders, scaring the dude.

“Taehyunnn!” Beomgyu shouts.

“You scared the shit out of me. What the hell gyu.”

You stare at them perplexed, “You guys know each other…?” Kang taehyun was one of the top students at your university and was extremely intelligent. And beomgyu was well…You can’t imagine they would both be friends at all.

“Of course we are! We’re best friends!”

“That’s stretching it a bit.” Taehyun jokes.

“Hey! You can’t say that to your husband!”

“We’re not husbands…I would never marry you.”

Beomgyu gasps. “So you want a divorce?!”

“Yeah because he’d marry me instead!” Huening kai walks over, drink in hand , another music student you recognised but he took it as a minor.

“You’re cheating on me?!?!” Beomgyu gasps even louder, making huening Kai laugh.

“You’re scaring away all the hoes beomgyu…” Taehyun sighs.

“What hoes? You get zero bitches. Me on the other hand…” Beomgyu flicks his hair at taehyun which only causes Kai to laugh even louder. A very unique laugh, you note. “Anyway this is Y/n! We’re working together on that music performance.”

“Oh hello! Nice to meet you.” They both say in unison.

“Nice to meet you too!”

The rest of the party is pretty uneventful to you. You hang out with taehyun and kai in the kitchen, talking and laughing with them. They were very entertaining to be around and friendly, happy you made some new friends. Beomgyu disappeared at some point and you see him again, clearly very drunk and making out with some girl. All three of you rolling your eyes at him.

“How much do you bet he won’t actually end up fucking them again.” Taehyun turns to Huening Kai.

“Hmmm. $30.”

“You guys know Beomgyu’s a virgin!?” You say the last part quietly.

“Yeah. I have no idea where those rumours came from in the first place.” Taehyun answers.

“Why does he act like that then though?” You ask.

“Beats me.” Huening Kai shrugs.

Once all three of you have had enough at staying at the party, you scavenge for beomgyu, finding him in the garden, passed out in a weird beetle position. And you all take him back to taehyun’s car with much effort.

Huening Kai gets dropped off first since his accommodations are a lot closer and taehyun parks his car since your block was just next to taehyun’s and beomgyu’s. You help taehyun carry beomgyu inside though.

“Hey, my dorm is just right here and I’ve got an exam early in the morning. Do you mind taking beomgyu up to his dorm yourself?” Taehyun asks, since his was at the very first floor and beomgyu’s was at the very top.

“Yeah sure. See you later taehyun. Good luck on your exam!”

“Thank you so much y/n! I’ll see you around!”

You know why taehyun chose not to come, it took absolutely forever to try and drag beomgyu up all the stairs to his dorm, elevator conveniently out of order.

You had to stop multiple times to catch your breath going up those stairs and dragging a mostly unconscious beomgyu with you but you finally make it after what feels like an eternity. Taehyun so owes you for that. And beomgyu. You genuinely feel like you’re gonna collapse but you open beomgyu’s place with his keys.

You tuck beomgyu into his bed. It was quite amusing seeing beomgyu passed out, covers tucked tightly up to his face and his mouth parted, a little unflatteringly.

He tugs on your sleeve before you can leave though, seemingly awake again. “I pussied out on fucking someone again. Is it…is it weird…Am I weird for being a-a virgin…? Beomgyu looks at you with the saddest puppy eyes ever, slurring his words from still being drunk.

“Hey…no of course not! You don’t need to have sex. It doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t be that important. You’re not weird for being a virgin! It’s…it’s normal.”

“But everyone thinks I’ve fucked everyone. And I haven’t fucked anyone. Isn’t that really embarrassing?”

“No it’s just stupid you have rumours like that about you. You shouldn’t care.”

And then he’s passed out again, probably not hearing a word you said, your hand in his to his chest from when he stopped you leaving. You clear your throat, letting go of him and exiting his place.

Next chap

Please actually reblog !! and comment !!!! if you like the fic. It’s really appreciated tysm !<3🙏💕😊 It’s discouraging when fics have such little reblogs 🤨👎Feedback is always appreciated it makes me happy :)

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[junjiie]

해찬  ##  🗯️ ⠀ &THEAFTERPARTY..

prelude new york to seoul. ⠀ wc 1.7k. ⠀ warnings none.

the night air was cool on his skin as he stepped out of the airport, the wheels on his suitcase dragging to a stop on the concrete beside him.

donghyuck took one deep breath, then another. he was home.

it felt better than he’d expected it to, his shoulders loosening as he relaxed and took in all the familiar sights, the familiar feeling. he’d never stayed in one place while travelling, too preoccupied with getting out there and discovering, trying to capture every moment before his year was over. it almost felt like a blur when he tried to think back on it now, when he was standing back in korea without a plan for once. when he could take it one minute at a time.

he allowed himself one more second to himself before he moved out of the ‘arrivals’ entranceway and fished his phone out of his jacket pocket. he had been on the last flight back, so the time was just past twelve, but he knew the person behind the number he was dialling would be up anyway.

mark started talking at him the second he picked up, and donghyuck smiled at the sound of it. him and all his best friends had kept in contact, of course, but it was still always nice to hear him. especially when the amount of miles between them was considerably smaller.

“yo, hyuck! have you landed? i can’t believe you’re finally back, dude, was it fun? group hangouts never felt the same without you there in person, i swear. even jiung said he missed you! man, i shoulda got that on video..” 

he laughed at the barrage of words and let go of the suitcase handle, leaning back onto the brick wall behind him as he replied.

“hey, mark. i just got out the airport. it was great, you know that, but i’m happy to be home. what’ve you been up to, anyway? how’s work at that café going?”

people milled past him, slowly trickling out into the streets with bags in hand and arms outstretched to hail passing taxis down, or flag down their arranged rides. he wondered if mark would be up to making the drive down to pick him up, or if he could wheedle renjun into doing it instead.

“it’s been great, man! i still don’t think my boss likes me all that much, not after that latte art thing, but he’ll come around.”

they both burst into snickers at that, before mark perked up again suddenly—as if only now realising hyuck might’ve needed a ride rather than staying stood outside the airport while everyone else around him left.

“oh, dude! do you need a ride? renjun’s dead asleep, but i can come pick you up if you don’t already have a taxi.” 

he heaved a quiet sigh of relief, glad for the offer. “that’d be perfect, god. my feet are starting to feel numb.” his tone took a sly turn as he continued with “and if you’d be willing to give up your sofa for a few months while i find a place, that’d be great too.”

unfortunately, mark was quick to shut him down. “absolutely not, dude. you’re, like, the worst roommate ever. i got my dose of you living with me in uni, and it’s never happening again.” 

haechan’s voice turned accusatory, raising in volume and catching the attention of a passer-by who shot him a dirty look for making noise at such a late hour and then hurried on, the wheels of their case clattering behind them. “yah! i’m not that bad. it’ll be for a month, at most. i’ll even pay you!”

mark snorted. hyuck could hear the jingle of his car keys faintly in the background. “with what money? pretty sure you don’t have a job, man.”

he opened his mouth to reply and then closed it again. the older man had got him there, he would admit. he floundered for a few moments more before trying again. “well, i will! maybe i’ll come and work with you and renjunnie, huh? and.. is jeno still around?”

jeno’s name felt strange on his tongue. he hadn’t spoken to him in a year, if a little over that. he hadn’t spoken to any of—of your friends. not since he’d boarded the plane to the first city on his list and hadn’t looked back. there used to be a time when both of your groups came together for nights full of drinking and laughing, all merged into one big group, but those days were long gone.

his best friend’s voice was a little more sombre when he answered, as if sensing donghyuck’s sudden drop in mood.

“yeah, he’s still with us. i don’t think our applications are open right now, but i could ask for a favour to get you in if you want, hyuckie.” his tone lightened up a little as he cracked a small joke, an attempt to uplift haechan’s spirits. “or.. maybe get renjun to do it, seeing as i’m not exactly the favourite.”

it worked, if only for a moment. he huffed a short laugh and then braced himself for what he sensed was coming.

“but, uh, i think they’re hiring where yn works. it’s only across the street, i saw the sign up in the window.”

donghyuck bit his lip. silence followed from both sides of the line, the only sound coming from mark fiddling with his keys in the ignition and fumbling with his phone. the quiet stretched on for a few more beats before mark was rushing his next words, jumbling them all together in the jilted way he always did when he felt like he’d overstepped.

“oh shit, dude, sorry, was that—i mean, not that you two aren’t—”

hyuck cut him off before he could run himself into the ground trying to apologise, laughing again with a little less feeling.

“it’s fine, mark, really. i’ll just cross that bridge when i get to it, surely i can have a couple days just lazing around.”

his friend still sounded uneasy when he finally mumbled the words “i mean, if you say so, dude,” and donghyuck reassured him again that all was fine before nudging him to hang up.

“wouldn’t want you to get in a crash, would we? then who would pick me up? i’m not staying stranded in incheon all night.”

mark scoffed and the lighter mood was back again as quickly as it had left. the call disconnected and the tone seemed louder in the quiet air, haechan staring at the black screen of his phone after mark was gone to see his mirror image staring back at him. his best friend’s earlier words rang through his head again. was that—i mean, not that you two aren’t—

no one knew about you and him. why would they? it was an arrangement that had stayed between the four walls of his then-bedroom and never left it, one that was never brought up with or spoken about with their shared friends. hyuck thought they’d caught on anyway, though, after a few too many nights when he’d been the right side of tipsy and felt the need to cling onto you, to sling his arms around your waist and press his face into your neck to try and hold onto the fading smell of your cologne.

he’d only realised his mistakes when he’d looked up to catch renjun’s eyes, a clear question in them as he stared at your position, or when mark had broken the moment with a shrill awkward laugh that pierced through his skull as he suggested they get more drinks.

donghyuck stared for a few moments more. cast a glance upwards, seeing nothing but empty streets and cars passing by. unlocked his phone. went to his messages, where your contact was still there, name glaring up at him. ynnie. the little icon beside it, a candid photo of you taken in his room in the few moments before you could look up and chase him around the room in an attempt to get him to delete it.

he tried to convince himself not to do it, but before he could stop himself he’d opened the messages shared between you. the last one was from you, dated to almost a year and two months ago. have fun, you’d said.

haechan hadn’t replied.

he stopped himself from scrolling up, from reliving all the late-night conversations you’d had. he just.. stared. at your face. at your name. at the message. face. name. message. rinse and repeat.

his fingers faltered over his keyboard as he played with the idea of sending you a text, after all these months, out of the blue. what would he even say? and even if he did send anything, you might’ve blocked him by now. he wouldn’t really blame you if you had.

the minutes ticked by and the hour only got later around him, but donghyuck was stuck still. leather jacket against the brick wall and fingers going numb from the cold as he agonised over words he didn’t know how to say.

he startled when bright lights shone right at him, locking his phone and forcing himself to push away the idea of contacting you as mark rolled his window down to shout a hello. the device felt like a lead weight in his pocket even as he dragged his suitcase over to the car with a grin.

“that was fast,” he managed to tease. “were you speeding, or something?”

mark played up being offended by the very accusation, and from then on it was the usual back-and-forth they always had as he chucked his case in the backseat and opened the passenger door. it felt like home again—and it was home again. he talked and laughed and bickered on the ride home, smiled and relaxed into the cracked leather of the seats and stared out at the city speeding past them, and he felt content. as content as he could be when he was still vaguely aware that something still felt off, the one little itch in the back of his mind.

have fun.

he wondered what you’d say when you saw him again.

 (･o･;) 💣 ⠀ previous mlist next

JJ ₊ ⠀ this ch is 4 karma thanku 4 reading it over ILY

taglist ## @wave2love @so2uv @mins-fins @kimgyuuu @wtfhyuck (perm) &&& @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @kosmicbomb @222brainrot @haohyo @dinonuguaegi

[fyeahkaimelia]

this has Nothing to do w greys anatomy and i havent even been active here (but hey, this season is back so i just might be too) but i need to vent somewhere and i can’t do it on main cause irl ppl follow me there. i don’t even mind them knowing these things like its not a secret or anything but idk it’s weird

i owe ab r$ 130.000 to my university. every year i Don’t Pay the bills and owe them a huge amount of money and then they let me pay like 1/5 or even 1/6 of what i owe to be able to enroll in the next school year. i’m currently starting 4th year of med school (it’s 6 years long). this time they said they’d only do that thing where i pay a fifth of what i owe now and leave the rest to pay “later” if i use a credit card, which i don’t have — all my payments have always been thru debit yk. and i can’t get a credit card cause i owe the bankS (plural, i owe money to like every bank in the country) like over 200k from loans i’ve taken before, which i’ll never pay them back probably (it’s okay, i don’t have anything to my name so they can’t legally take anything from me cause of it). which is why i obviously also can’t get a loan.

i currently have about 40k. i’m selling my shitty car for 7k, i have a solid buyer, so i guess i have ab 47k. i’m trying to sell a shitty studio apartment in a bad neighborhood for 70k, even though it’s worth ab 120k, just to try to get it sold as fast as possible. i work a part time honest job for less than a minimum wage and i use that money to “pitch in” and help pay the bills (i live w my mom and she pays for everything but sometimes we fall short).

and i sell stuff on the side. how much i sell is directly related to how much extra cash i need that month, but it’s usually around 1k. if i really put myself out there i can make much, much more, and i usually avoid that so i don’t get too well known™, but recently (since like november) i’ve been doing that, and making ab 5k a month (which is how i’ve been saving money these past few months), and i’m currently facing the opportunity of expanding that further and maybe even make up to 10k a month from selling my stuff alone, but i’m not sure if i’ll do that cause i think people are already getting too comfy introducing my services™ to other ppl, and i even got a street name. that was sort of a wake up call for me. i sometimes get texts from strange numbers that’ll be like “hey, [insert friend’s name] gave me ur number” and i check with that friend if they’re cool before selling etc, but lately those ‘friends of friends’ all started calling me dr. hu, and it sort of caught on, and ppl who aren’t in any way connected to those ppl told me they’ve heard my “name” (dr. hu) being brought up by strangers in a couple of hang out spots in my neighborhood, and that really made me rethink the whole thing. it’s okay, my neighborhood is pretty chill, there’s not much activity here, there’s only a few parks where young ppl go to have fun, there aren’t any territorial gangs or anything, so at least i’m safe from that. but still.

also, “dr. hu” is a reference to this guy (i didnt get it at first, i thought they were saying dr who first few times i heard it):

ANYWAY. back to the point. i’ve been going to class even though i’m not officially enrolled in this semester yet, cause that’s what my lawyer told me to do, cause we’ll try to get a judge to demand my uni to let me pay in installments w debit or cash or a fucking check like it’s fucking 2007, whatever, just not credit. (idk if it wasn’t clear before, but they let me pay in cash if i pay the entire amount at once, i just don’t have that rn). but if we can’t get a judge to do that (we should find out by next week), my only way out would be if i can sell the apartment until before my exams start — and they start on march 15. otherwise i won’t be able to take the exams and i’ll automatically flunk all my classes, so.

my second option (if both the apartment thing and judge thing fail) would be to transfer to a different uni. that would hurt me deeply cause i like my uni’s curriculum better, it’s the best in the state, and i know i’d be transferring to a uni that isn’t as good. and mostly cause i’m already so integrated in my uni, i have my friends and my academic leagues and i’ve been a pharma TA (which gives me a 20% scholarship) and intended to keep on it, and i write papers for it and i had big plans to write ab some of my special interests in pharma (yea drugs are a special interest to me fr lol) and get to show them in medical conferences etc.

and there’s my bf. he’s the best thing ab uni to me tbh, he’s the reason i wake up in the morning exhausted but still excited to go to class cause he’ll be there. and it’s hard for us to see each other cause we both have jobs that demand a lot from us (i work as an “assistant” to er doctors — they pay me directly to do their work part time so they can sleep or study for residency undisturbed during part of their shifts, and he works with politics). so we only rly see each other out of class like once a week; and it’s fine cause we see each other in class almost everyday and we skip class to get high and make out on campus sometimes (like fucking teenagers ik ik), but all of that will be gone if i transfer. i’ll be lucky if i get to see him for a few hours a week. and it kinda feels like my world will colapse if that happens. i know it’s dramatic but idk, he’s kinda the light of my life rn. i know i’d get over it, i’d get over him if i had to, but i don’t want it to come to that, i really don’t, cause i’m in love & i genuinely believe we could have the life of our dreams together soon enough

anyway. transferring would genuinely be horrible but i’d get used to it. i’m already getting used to that possibility. yesterday it felt like it was the end of the world, i sobbed like a child just for considering it for a second, it felt like when ur a kid and everything gets taken away from u and u find out the world is a cruel and unjust place for the first time (i got sent to an international boarding school at age 6 man idk that’s how it felt like). but now i’m already more accepting of that possibility. i’d survive it, i’ve survived much worse, and i’d learn to enjoy it (in a bittersweet way). i’d probably lose touch with my best friend from uni (which SUCKS ASS cause he’s one of the best friends i’ve ever had, friends like him are hard to come across yk), but i’d make new friends eventually. maybe i’d find a way to make my relationship work. and i’d get to Not pay 130 thousand reais to my uni; bitches didn’t let me pay my way, they ain’t ever seeing money from me again. which would be pretty nice

and my third option, my worst option, is taking a gap year. just pausing everything. i finished 3rd grade in 2022, and i’d start 4th grade in 2024. a gap year. it’d come to that if the couple of unis i’d consider transferring to need me to take extra classes (essentially “repeat” some classes i’ve already taken) because of curriculum differences. it’d suck so, so much, but i’m still tryna prepare myself mentally for that possibility. honestly med school is my life. idk how i’d cope without medicine. honestly i skip class all the time and i hate some of my classes and i hate working with clinical medicine (which i’m required to do as a student) but still, my life kinda revolves around the fact that i’m on my way to becoming a doctor. it’s kind of what i live for. i’m not a straight As student, i’ve never been a pleasure to have in class, i get Bs and mostly Cs and i don’t study for my classes like i should, i don’t turn in my assignments, i’m essentially a very Bad student, but medicine is still my life. pharmacology and anesthesiology are my special interests. reading the entire goodman & gilman book for fun several times kinda thing. and i feel like that’s what i’m worth. i know it’s not healthy, but my entire sense of self worth is based on my academic life. which is ridiculous cause i’m not even a good student! but having mediocre grades and only studying for the few classes that i actually enjoy somehow is enough for me to feel ok ab myself. not great, i don’t have awesome self esteem, but okay enough yk. but my self esteem will go to zero so fast if i simply don’t have an academic life anymore.

and what would i do with a gap year? i’d probably work more, and maybe sell more, and maybe, just maybe, i’d work on myself. study more ab the things i’m interested in, go to the gym, help my mom w her garden. but the truth is i’d probably fall into a self destructive pattern of sleeping all day and binge eating and doing drugs. letting dirty dishes pile up all over my room, wearing the same set of pjs for weeks, not washing my hair like ever. eventually stop going to work, never leave the house. start getting social anxiety, avoiding all my friends, shutting down completely. going days without eating or seeing a single person irl. it’s happened before more than a few times, i know how i can be. i’ve had enough clinical depression episodes. and i think it could go harder than ever before (the worst one i’ve ever had was in 2017, when i spent 2 months in bed).

ok i kinda spiraled there. maybe that wouldn’t happen. it probably wouldn’t happen. and one good thing is i’d definitely find a way to make more money, so i could actually spend some on something other than bills. i could finally get the tattoos i want. ok but that’s the only silver lining i can find. and even if i didn’t fall into a depression™, would my relationship survive it? cause yea, i’d have time and money to see him, work around his schedule since he’d be busier than me, but i’d feel like shit. i’d feel like i’m worth less than him because he’d be too ahead of me academically, and i’d be stagnated. i can’t explain it.

[lady-grace-pens]

Foad Excerpt [7]

It’s been a whole ass month since I shared a raw snippet lmao oops

I got my writing mojo back and I’m making good progress though! I just hit 31k today ☺️ Here’s a snippet in honor of it. It’s probably longer than what I should be sharing, but fuck it! In honor of the milestone, we ball.

All fluff between Emily, Arthur, and Ilya as they relax at a garden party being held at the uni. This is actually one of my favorite scenes so far. I almost shared the more angsty, climactic half of it but I just shared some angst in the word search tag I did a few days ago. Plus I don’t want to spoil too much ;)

Taglist: @wordwizards @flowerprose

•••

I run my fingers along the sides of a heaping glass of sweet tea bought from the refreshments table. Arthur, at my request, fans me with Ilya’s book—a copy of an old Russian novel none of us are familiar with. It isn’t long before he fumbles with his pockets, taking out a silver coin. Be flips it in the air before sliding it across the table. “A penny for your rose, Ilya, what do you say?”

Ilya pushes all his spare flowers towards us. “Take ‘em all. I’m done anyway.”

Arthur plucks a rose from his pile. Using a pocket knife, he cuts the stem little over halfway, and whittles away all the remaining thorns. Meanwhile, Ilya weaves the last stem into his crown.

“Lovely work.”

Arthur glances up from his work. “Quite. How’d you learn something like that anyway? Pardon if I’m wrong, but you don’t strike me as the artistic type of fellow.”

“I’m not. I picked it up to surprise Cal.”

“Aw, isn’t that lovely? You know, that reminds me of a bloke I once knew back in secondary. This was after I went back. Big sort of school, so new kids weren’t at all uncommon. But this fellow—he was the beefy sort of type, you know. Rugby player. Thing is, he had the most demanding witch of a girlfriend…”

The rest of their talk melts into a slush pooling at the sides of my sweating tea glass. The rich brown liquid is a prism catching the few strands of sunlight that peek beneath our umbrella. On the table, it projects glimmering visions of Matthieu’s eyes.

His absence hasn’t been lost on me. I must’ve given him a dozen reminders of this event within the past three days alone. My hair has gone white stressing the significance to him, not that he isn’t already aware. The Agricultural Society is the backbone of Ravnna’s funding. Our pride. This is their chance to display the fruits of their monumental care for their craft. If not for the sake of nature, I would’ve at least expected him to at least come for that. The fact that it means something to the people he cares about. But low and behold, what does the man text me this morning?

“Sorry babe I’m gonna be late. Y’all go without me.”

A simple line without a rhyme nor reason. While a late entrance would be superior to his complete absence, I’m still expecting a strong excuse.

I check my phone. Nothing new. Only the time shifting.

“Haven’t heard from Matt, have you?” Ilya asks.

I cross my arms. “He told me he’d be late, but he never said how late. God only knows if he’s planning to show up at all.”

“Depends on how bad his uncle needs him.”

“That’s what he blew this off for?” I slam my wedges against the ground. “Fuck. I’m happy it’s not anything else, but… Dear Lord. They act like those trees are going to sprout legs and walk away.”

Arthur and Ilya share a laugh.

“You act like he didn’t tell you or somethin’.”

“He didn’t.”

“Logger, isn’t he?” Arthur takes a sip of my tea.

“Yes. Also that’s my drink.”

“But I bought it with my money, love. Technically it’s mine.”

I twirl my hair and give him my richest fake laugh. He rests his elbow on the back of my chair, all pride and playfulness. Speaking again. I fall deadpan.

“Careful with the roses, love, some of them have thorns.”

Arthur, unchanging, returns to his pruning. “And some like to think their thorns are much sharper than they realize.”

Ilya breaks out in a fit of laughter. I’m shocked he isn’t falling with how harshly he’s leaning back.

“Oh quit your laughter over there!” I snatch one of the thorn-laden stems Arthur broke off and throw it at him. “It wasn’t that funny.”

“Yes it was.”

Your smile says it all, dearest,” purrs Arthur.

“You—“ I slap his shoulder. “Shut up! This isn’t a smile. Even if it was, it’s surely from the heat and nothing else. God knows that joke was so dry, I can hear my Grandpappy coughing.”

Ilya keels over the chair next to him. “Oh my God, Em.”

Arthur, groaning, buries his head in his hands. At this point, I can’t resist my lips springing up like the flowers surrounding us.

“Lord almighty, this entire conversation has to be cleansed.”

“Hand me my book, Em,” asks Ilya as his hand pops up from the table.

My lungs birth a half-formed laugh that more so resembles a breath of air. I throw his book across the table.

“Too lazy to fetch it yourself, huh?”

“Damn right.”

Arthur clears his throat. Between his fingers, he twirls the freshly cut, dethroned English rose. He says nothing but wears a smile—go figure. Is there some sort of question he’s expecting me to answer? Perhaps a continuity error between the strands of silk petals? Before I can ask him such, he raises the rose to my ear, intertwining it with my curls.

“Love,” he says while his breath, like the late summer sun, tantalizes my skin. “Won’t you take a walk with me? For the better part of an hour, all you’ve done is sit here waiting for the likes of some guy to show up. Take a look at where you are, darling, we’re in paradise! I don’t want to see you wasting any more time not savoring it.”

My heart is exiled to my guts, where it becomes a feast for the wriggling maggots churning my intestines. I reach for my phone. If Matthieu catches me alone with him… The thought of that possibility is enough to bring me chills. It’s best if I wait here for him, really, but… without any news of his arrival… I could very well be damned to this chair for another hour before I get so much as a text claiming he’s on his way. In the grand scheme of things, what is a brief little distraction?

[chasing-rabbits]

Okay I have a real obsession with bags, I used to joke & well my mum too that I was obsessed with bags back when I was at uni but now looking back I don’t think I even had that many bags. I think I just showed better control at not buying them lol. Also tbf uni student so limited funds gotta be smart with my money. But now as an adult I’ve decided I get to buy things, enjoy myself & get all the bags lol But ever since I moved near the end of covid when things started opening up again we got thrown into the cost of living crisis, bills rising & I’d just had to go on benefits which was very jlakdj for me cos they can take it away like that (not so much the UC but my PIP (disability benefits) & at the time we relied on PIP to help cover all our basic costs) Anyways so I basically spent however many years not spending much on myself & when I did I’d usually feel guilty until last xmas, I treated myself & just enjoyed it no guilt & tbf it was my xmas money so not like I went crazy or anything & yet that was something I’d struggle to do before; spending money given to me with the sole purpose of treating myself. I also think my relationship imploding right before xmas also added fuel to the newly burning fire of fuck it I’m gonna treat myself & then it became fuck it I don’t have a near future to be saving for anymore yk like saving for a house etc plus all that shits impossible now even if I’d wanted too cos interest rates are fucked that also added to the fuck it fuel realising i’d never save enough to be able to buy my own home not at this rate so why even try? I’ve embraced that my future is fucked I’ll never have the money even if I earn a good wage w/ how things are rn so why bother sagving for a goal thats unattainable when I could use that money to treat myself for the now. Enjoy my life in this moment instead of worrying & saving cos until shit gets better theres little to save up for & so far this fuck it attitude has meant I’ve gotten to see Spirited Away & Hadestown in London & omg both were amazing especially Spirited Away. I also got to see Avril Lavigne, fuck yes, treated myself to so many tasty GF treats/pastries from an all GF/DF place that wasn’t exactly cheap but worth it lol & BAGS & clothes but mostly bags lol Oh & all the clothes & stuff I’ve bought aside from tonights spending I managed to get in a sale usually a clearance sale or when they had big discounts running so I feel less bad. Tonight however I only got a 10% discount which for me is low & the prices are expensive so usually I wait for a 20% discount minimum (usually get way more on the clothes but bags not so much) but I feel good I got at least a small discount & I had the money to spend so why not. But now to sort out where the fuck am I going to store all of these bags. I just need to get more storage I don’t have a big wardrobe rn & its not ideal for storing bags in really I probably just need to get some wall hooks to hang them from but need to be high enough the cats won’t try & attack my bags lol

[httpdabi]

The Game

Genre: Smut

Summary: Playing a game made for couples with your best friend wasn’t such a bright idea. Or was it ?

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: 18+ (Minors, leave me and my blog alone), spanking, mention of daddy kink, cream pie, rough, dom!Dabi, praising

,, Can you hurry up already ? ‘’ Touya yelled from the living room as you were getting ready. ,, We are only going to buy groceries, we ain’t going to Met Gala for fucks sake’’ he hissed, once he realised that you ain’t answering him.

,, Give me a second’’ you screamed, as you were putting on your mascara carefully.

,, I gave you a whole fucking hour, woman’’ Touya snapped back, rolling his eyes playfully. He had to stress around a bit. Thinking about it, the two of you looked like married couple, yet you were nothing more than two best friends and roommates.

Once you were done, you made your way toward the shopping center that wasn’t that far away from your apartment. There wasn’t any specific reason the two of you were going there, you only needed some groceries to get, and you could literally get that in the store near your apartment. But the two of you decided to go out a bit, since both of you were pretty much focused on the studies last few days.

You and Touya know each other since you were little kids. Your mother and Rei were childhood best friends, so you and Touya grew up together. It was one of those forced friendships, that would have some huge development later on. As you were getting older, you started realising that you actually liked spending your time with him.

,, I hate this.. When I have money, there is nothing nice to buy, but when I’m broke as fuck, every dress is looking beautiful’’ you rolled your eyes disappointedly. Every time you don’t have much money, the stores around are having such a beautiful collections.

Of course, being your best friend, Touya always bought you clothes you had your eyes on, as a small surprise after you had a long and hard day at uni. You really loved him. Not only because of that, but simply for being him. Everyone knew how damn grateful you were for having him and your life and you really never tried to hide that.

,, Let’s go see if they have some board games, maybe we can buy something and play tonight’’ Touya suggested, grabbing your hand as he took the lead. Every time Touya would hold your hand, your heart would skip a beat. Probably because of the fact that you had one big and fat crush on your best friend.

You were not sure when did it start. Maybe when he pierced his nose, or when people started thinking that the two of you are couple, or maybe the feeling was always there, but you kept it somewhere buried in your mind. Hiding it from everyone and especially from him.

,, Oh, I always wanted to play thing game’’ Touya said, holding a small, black package in his hands. You tried to grab it away from him, but unsuccessfully.

,, What is it ? Show me’’ You squeaked excitedly, hoping it’s something fun.

,, It’s Drunk in love’’ He said, waving the small package in the air. Confusion and jealousy washed over you as you looked at the back of the package. You’ve heard about that game, it’s one for couples.

,, Should we buy it ? I really want to play it’’ He asked. Only confusion was left in your body once he asked you that.

,, Isn’t that a game for couples ?’’ You asked him back.

,, Yeah, but it really isn’t something special, after all everyone is mistaking us for couple, so i don’t see a problem here’’ Touya said, winking at you. ,, Unless you are scared’’ he added fast. You knew that he was just trying to tease you a bit, it was how he always got things his way.

,, You know very well that I ain’t scared. But Touya, that’s not something we should play’’ you said honestly. Sure you would love to play that with him, but you didn’t know what kind of game that really is, so it gave you mixed feelings.

,, Trust me, the game is not a big deal. It’s just fun.’’ He said, looking down at you, hoping you’ll agree with his suggestion. ,, Trust me doll’’ he repeated, and the moment you let a deep breath out and rolled your eyes, Touya knew that he won, making his way to the cashier immediately.

,, Let’s buy something to drink at least’’ you said, hoping that the game won’t be so bad at the end.

,, We have to, it’s a drinking game anyway’’ Touya laughed, placing one arm around you, as the two of you walked to the store with alcohol.

The two of you bought a bottle of vodka, before you made your way home. Not wasting any time, Touya helped you put the groceries in the fridge, before he opened the small package. He took two small glasses for shots, and placed them beside the deck of cards that were already on the table in the living room.

You took two normal glasses and orange juice, in case the vodka might be too much. Touya was already waiting for you, searching for some music on YouTube, as he sat on the floor.

,,Here’’ Touya offered you a cigarette, once you sat on the other side, placing one pillow under your ass. You gladly accepted the cigarette, as you enjoyed the music he found.

The two of you drank few shots of vodka, before you started to play. You weren’t sure what to expect of that game, but if you were being honest, the alcohol was helping you, even tho it was just a little bit.

,, Imma go first’’ Touya said, taking one card. ,, Describe your worst hookup ever or drink’’ he read it out lout. Okay, that wasn’t something so bad, after all, you’ve already talked about it with him.

,, Ehh, that one time I slept with Kai.’’ You said rolling your eyes as you thought about it.

,,Ah, that time when you though he’s still fingering you ?’’ Touya asked, laughing a bit.

,, Yes Touya, his dick was that small’’ You laughed, feeling a little bit more comfy about the stupid game. ,, My turn’’ you added, taking one card.

,, Reveal your biggest sexual fantasy or drink’’ You read it excitedly, wiggling your eyebrows at him.

,, Yeah, no’’ Touya laughed, taking a shot without thinking twice, leaving you all disappointed. ,, Pull another one’’ Touya said, closing his eyes because of the strong taste of the alcohol.

,, Give your parter a piggy back ride around the room or drink’’ a big smile formed on your face as you read the sentence.

,, Easy peasy’’ Touya commented, standing up. The moment he turned around, giving you a sign to hop on his back, you did it. The two of you looked like children, running around the apartment like crazy.

,, Drink if you’ve ever faked an orgasm’’ Touya said, placing the card on the table. Of course you had to drink, thanking God you didn’t have to take a shot for every orgasm you faked.

Card after card, and shot after shot, the two of you were getting tipsier and the cards were getting spicier.

,, Blindfold your partner and make them guess which body part they’re touching or drink’’ Touya read the sentence, glad he was the one who found it first. ,, Yeah, you gonna chicken out ‘’ he teased.

,, Shut up and close your eyes’’ You said thinking about what part you should let him touch. Everything was way too easy to guess. At one point you were almost sure that there was a typo on the card, and that you should touch yourself and he should guess which part, but Touya was 100% sure that he was supposed to touch you.

Taking his hands, you decided that it would be the best if he would touch your collar and breast bones. At your surprise, he was tracing his fingers lightly over your skin, furrowing his eyebrows confusingly as he tried to understand what part of your body he’s touching.

,, Collarbones’’ He said opening his eyes immediately. ,, Ok, you’ve lost, drink’’ he commanded with a smirk on his face, as he took another card.

,, Take one article of clothing or drink’’ Touya placed the card on the table, leaning back onto the lower part of your couch. When he took of his shirt, showing of his perfectly toned body covered with various different tattoos, you realised that the card was referring to both of you. Since your shirt was a bit oversized, you decided to take of your pants.

Trying to ignore the small situation you found yourself in, you took another card fast.

,, Let your partner spank you or drink’’ you read it confusedly, trying to understand what the fuck is happening. Once you understood, you started shaking your head in disbelief, following with one loud laugh. What the fuck did you get yourself into ?

,, Come on doll, come to daddy ‘’ Touya joked, spreading his arms over the couch, as you took the shot of vodka anyway, before you made your way toward him.

Not giving you much time, Touya pulled you down, bending you over his lap. ,, You have no idea how much I wanted to do this’’ He confessed, as he pulled your shirt just enough to show your ass. You couldn’t even focus on his small confession, since you were trying to prepare yourself on the upcoming spanks.

Instead of spanking you, Touya decided to take his time with you, tracing his fingers over your hips and playing with the ends of your panties, pulling them up, forming a thong with them. You were glad that some alcohol was in your system, because you were pretty sure that sober you would never survive that.

,, Now doll, be a good girl and take every single spank for daddy’’ Touya whispered, before he connected his palm with your ass cheek, making you yelp in pain. With every spank he gave you, the pain was getting intenser. But you didn’t mind, after all, isn’t that what you wished for ?

,, Such a good Girl’’ He prised, caressing the red marks he left over your ass. Once you got back on the other side of the table, both you and him started laughing hysterically.

,, Lick your partner below the waist or finish your drink’’ Touya said, smirking widely once again. ,, There’s no way I’m finishing this drink’’ He added, grabbing your arm and pushing you toward him.Touya pushed up on the couch, as he started licking your legs slowly.

You couldn’t believe what the fuck was happening. Both of you half naked, playing some overly sexual game, which led him to licking your legs. You weren’t sure what was driving you more crazy, him licking your legs or his erection that was showing under his grey sweatpants.

Touya placed his hand on your tight, giving in one strong squeeze as he was placing wet kisses on your right inner tight. You could feel his lips getting closer and closer to your private parts, but you didn’t dare to say anything.

,, Wanna know what my fantasy is ?’’ Touya asked, kissing and biting onto the skin around your panties. All you could do is nod your head quietly, lost under his touch and soft kisses.

,, You, you are my biggest fantasy. I want to have you all for myself’’ Touya said hovering over you. ,, I want you to be mine’’ he added, looking you directly in the eyes, before he started leaving soft kisses all over your face.

,, Wanna be mine ? Just you and me doll’’ He asked, biting your lip.

,, Yes’’ You answered him so fast. Fuck yes you want to be his, He didn’t even have to ask you that, you were always his.

Once he heard you say that, Touya pulled his sweatpants and boxers down, letting his hard dick jump straight up. Not breaking the kiss, he started rubbing the tip of his dick around your entrance.

,, Doll, tell me if I’m too rought’’ He said, entering you slowly while he sucked onto your neck, leaving wet love bites. You couldn’t manage to give him a proper answer, hoping that simply nodding your head was understandable enough.

Once he was fully inside of you, he gave you some time to adjust to his size before he started rocking his hips into you. He wasn’t doing it slow, and the position you were in wasn’t the most comfortable one, but you didn’t care about that. All you could think of was the pleasure he was giving you at the moment, mixed with pain.

You wrapped your legs around his waist as he rammed into you recklessly, breathing into your neck as his moves were getting stronger and stronger.

,, So tight for me’’ Touya groaned, enjoying the warm feeling your walls were giving him. It felt like you were made just for him. Placing one hand on your hip, and other one on the edge of the couch, he increased his speed, fucking you stronger and deeper than before. With every move he made, he was hitting your g spot, making you moan louder and louder. You were pretty sure that your neighbours were able to hear the two of you, but none of you gave a single fuck.

Both of you were about to cum. His groans were getting louder, and he was fucking you ever harder, while your walls were getting tighter and tighter around him, making it even more enjoyable for him.

,, You can cum inside’’ You managed to say somehow, moaning his name and squeezing your eyes shut once you reached your high.

,, I was planning to ’’ He groaned, fucking you through your orgasm, making it even better for you. After few thrusts, he spilled his seed deep into you. Moving few more times as he made sure to fill you nice and good, not wasting a single drop of his sperm. Once he was done, he collapsed on top of you, fighting for his breath.

,, I love you so much Doll’’ he said, connecting his lips with your own.

,, I love you too’’ You answered him, smiling widely into the kiss.

That night he took care of you, cleaning you, and taking you to his room, making sure that you are alright and that he didn’t hurt you. That night he made sure to clear some things out, he made sure that you wouldn’t think this was some sort of misunderstanding. Telling you how he actually always wanted to ask you out, and how that game was just a chance for him to get him where he is now. With you in his bed, locked between his arms.

That night you understood that your crush was never one sided, and that you were the reason why your best friend never dated anyone else.

Who would have thought that such a dirty game could bring people together ? Would lead them to confessing to each other. You sure didn’t think so, yet there you are, instead of daydreaming about it, you are enjoying the warmth of your best friend, roommate and lover.

[sour--disposition]

Bad Girlfriend

-

harry lewis x fem!reader

-

@ketamineharry suggested a harry imagine based off of Anne-Marie’s Bad Girlfriend and voila

please check my pinned post for request/prompt info and my masterlist

You cancel plans for me - I cancel ours on you - Say I'd be back early - I don't get in 'til 2 - You ask me where I've been - I tell you something vague - Think I messed up again - What can I say

You were sick and tired of Harry and his behaviour. When you first got together, you chalked his actions up to being young and dumb. And then to getting used to having more money. Then you blamed it on having to deal with so much at such a young age. 

The excuses piled up, one on top of the other. You knew one day it would all come toppling down around you, drowning you and Harry in a sea of problems that you doubted you’d be able to survive. You’d excused cheating, been by his side during hangovers from hell and comedowns that took too long to make Harry realise that the high really wasn’t worth the pain. You’d rubbed his back and handed him bottles of water and paracetamol and nursed him back to health, only for him to go and get in the same state the next weekend and expect you to help him gather the pieces back together again.

You’d tried to patch things up. Every time that you went to Harry to air all your concerns, tell him that if he doesn’t get his act together that you’d leave, and he always promised that things would be better this time. But something would always happen. There’d be plans he’d forget or cancel. He’d get too drunk and end up with hands over another girl’s body. 

“Ooh, you look nice”, Harry commented as soon as you answered his FaceTime call. “What are you doing?”, he asked you.

“I’m off out with some girls from uni tonight”, you told him as you stood up from the sofa and started gathering your things together.

“I thought you were coming over?”, he said, a small pout forming on his lips.

“Sorry”, you said nonchalantly. “I’ll make it up to you, yeah”, you told him half-heartedly.

“Yeah, whatever”, Harry huffed. “Come back here after?”, he suggested.

“Sure”, you said, a small smile on your lips. “I’ve gotta go, their taxi just pulled up. Love you”, you rushed out, hanging up and shoving your phone into your clutch, along with your keys, card and some cash.

Harry 💕: where are you it’s 11?

Harry💕: y/n c’mon i miss you

Harry💕: am i waiting up for you or not?

Harry💕: its 2am

You didn’t read the texts until you were swaying on the spot in the lift of Harry’s apartment building. Your vision was fuzzy as you tried to find the right key for their front door. “Y/N?”, Harry asked, opening the door.

“Hey”, you slurred, stumbling towards him. “I couldn’t see your key”, you told him.

“Where’ve you even been?”, Harry asked, voice dripping with distaste and disappointment.

“Here, there, everywhere”, you giggled. 

“Come on, go to bed”, Harry said sternly. “I have a shoot tomorrow and Josh will kill me if I’m late or lacking”, he told you.

“Oh, I am so very sorry”, you drawled, exaggerating all of your words, much to your own amusement.

“I’m not being funny, Y/N. Go to bed or go home”, Harry said sharply.

Your face dropped, the small square inch of your brain that was yet to be drenched in vodka and whatever else you’d been drinking lit up with anger. “Fine”, you snapped. You stormed down the hallway, sure of your footing this time and not stumbling once.

“Where are you going?”, Harry called after you.

“Home!”, you shouted, wrenching the front door open and slamming it behind you as hard as you could.

You shivered in the cold, late night wind of London as you waited on the curbside for your taxi. As soon as the car pulled up, you slid into the backseat and rattled off your address. The street lights and neon signs of London passed by in a blur of alcohol and anger and regret. “Thanks. Keep the change”, you muttered, handing a note over to the driver and getting out of the taxi.

Once you’d got back into your apartment, you changed into some pyjamas and took your make-up off as quickly as possible. You crawled under the covers, pulling them around your body and getting comfy in the middle of your bed. 

Part of you felt a little guilty for how you’d treated Harry, but a bigger part of you couldn’t find the effort to care. You’d put up with Harry acting like this for 6 years, he could tolerate you doing it once or twice.

-

You wanna meet my friends - I say another day

“Another day, Harry”, you sighed, heavily, turning back to the work you were trying to get done for your classes.

“You always say that. You’ve been on this course for, like, a year”, Harry whined.

“I know but I really need to focus on work at the moment, Harry”, you told him. “I started my degree later than I wanted to anyway and then I didn’t commit to it like I should have last year because of…”, you trailed off.  “Another day”.

“Because of what?”, Harry asked, voice taking a combative edge as he sat up straighter.

“Harry, I don’t want to get into this again”, you sighed heavily, slumping into your chair.

“Well, you started it!”, he argued. “So finish your sentence. Go on!”, he goaded.

“I couldn’t commit to my degree because I was too busy looking after you!”, you shouted. “Is that what you wanted? Me to lash out? Fucking well done”, you spat. You gathered up your things as quick as you could, closing your book and shoving things into your bag.

“Where are you going now?”, Harry asked frustratedly.

“Home. I have an essay to do for next week”, you muttered as you shoved past Harry.

Things between you and Harry were only getting worse. You knew about the other girls, but the both of you just pretended that you didn’t. All of his friends saw Harry as some sheepish kid with a loud mouth girlfriend, but they never got to see the Harry that you were seeing more and more. The Harry that held things from years ago against you, the Harry that was becoming more controlling by the day, the Harry that would raise his voice when things went even slightly not his way… The Harry that wasn’t the same Harry that you fell in love with.

-

'Cause I'm one in a million - More like in a billion - I don't think it's cheating if I'm kissing other women - I do some shit you can't forgive - And you better get used to it

The more you and Harry argued, the more his friends didn’t like you. They hid it well, especially Simon and Josh since you were such good friends with Talia and Freya. But you noticed the side glances you’d get anytime you laughed a little louder than usual, any time you’d say something that would make Talia or Freya cackle. You’d notice the looks that they would send Harry when you had the audacity to go and dance and your own, or when you’d be on your phone whilst everyone else was fighting to keep you out of the conversation.

You had no doubt in your mind that Harry was telling them bare-faced lies about you and hiding the truth about himself. You knew that they had no clue about Harry’s cheating, about how bad his drinking and substance abuse had truly been, how much he actually relied on you for day to day functioning. All they knew was that you were loud, argumentative and didn't give Harry the time of day when it came to uni work.

“Do you think she knows she’s punching?”, you heard Ethan ask JJ.

“I mean, it’s so obvious. Harry’s miles out of her league. C’mon man!”, JJ laughed in reply.

You looked to Harry to see his reaction. You knew he’d heard what was said, but based on the look on his face, he couldn’t care less. You didn’t need the validation from your boyfriend’s best friends, but it would be nice if your boyfriend would at least defend you or reassure you.

You rolled your eyes and turned to leave the table, heading towards the toilets. You were facing the mirror, touching up your hair and make-up, when Freya and Talia walked in. “What happened?”, Talia asked.

You told them what you’d heard and watched as their faces contorted into looks of horror. “Oh my god!”, Freya exclaimed. “What did Harry say!?”, she asked, coming closer to hold you hand supportively.

Your silence answered their question perfectly. “I can’t believe him”, Talia huffed, wrapping her arms around you.

“Things haven’t been great, but I never thought he’d just sit and let his best friends slag me off practically to my face”, you told them. Your eyes were watery.

“Hey, babe. Don’t let your mascara run”, a dark haired girl told you, handing you a tissue. “Whoever is letting someone slag you off is stupid”, she assured you.

“My boyfriend”, you said sadly. 

“I hate boys”, she laughed darkly, rolling her eyes, before rejoining her group of friends.

You, Talia and Freya emerged from the toilets around 5 minutes later, once you were sure that your tears had dried and weren’t going to restart. The three of you walked towards the table, Freya and Talia immediately sliding next to Josh and Simon.

“Where’s Harry?”, you asked, not seeing him anywhere. Ethan gave you a look and pointed towards the dancefloor before turning back to his conversation with JJ and Vik.

You glanced over towards the dancefloor, hoping you’d see Harry. Thankfully, he was towards the edge, back turned towards you. You watched as he turned around, ready to try and grab his attention. His eyes met yours, briefly filling with panic, before darting back down to the girl in his arms.

“Fuck this”, you muttered, as Harry’s friends and Freya and Talia all watched as he tried to assess the situation and what to do.

He watched as you walked closer, looking ready to send the stranger away. Harry’s eyes followed you as you sailed past him and towards the middle of the dance floor. You could feel eyes on you as you began dancing to the music, letting the beat mix with the alcohol and take over your body.

“Did you sort things with your boyfriend?”, a female voice asked. It was the girl from the bathroom. You rolled your eyes somewhat playfully at her.

“No”, you snorted. “I came to speak to him and he was all over another girl”, you told her. Your eyes darted over to where you’d last seen Harry. “That’s him there, sucking face with the blonde”.

“I hope he’s your ex-boyfriend now”, she told you, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s complicated”, you admitted, looking down in shame. It wasn’t news to you that you were letting Harry treat you like a doormat, but you had yet to muster up the courage to leave him. Just as you looked up, ready to offer to explain it over a drink, someone behind you shoved you, sending you catapulting into the girl’s arms.

“Careful there, can’t have you falling for me already. I’ve not even started flirting yet”, she told you with a smirk. “Martha”, she said politely, holding out a hand.

“Y/N”, you told her with a shy smile as you accepted her outstretched hand.

“Care for a dance?”, Martha asked you, pulling you closer with the hand that was still in hers.

You didn’t care if Harry and his friends watched as your bodies rolled together. Harry had never danced with you on a night out like this, never held you shamelessly in a club for everyone to see. Harry had never held your face so securely as he pulled you in for a kiss in front of everyone around you.

“What the fuck, Y/N?”, you heard beside you.

“Is this the boyfriend?”, Martha asked once she’d pulled back and let her eyes flutter open, eyeing Ethan up and down as soon as she had.

“The boyfriend’s best friend”, you told her, preparing to step out of her hold.

“Last time I checked, the boyfriend was preoccupied with someone else. Get him to come and find me when he wants his girlfriend. We’ll be right here”, she said, voice powerful and allowing no argument as her arms held you closer.

Harry never came to find you. The two of you left the club in separate taxis and you left with a new number saved in your phone.

-

You should be with someone else - Someone who is not myself

“Harry, you deserve so much better”, you heard a voice say as you walked into Harry’s apartment. You walked down the hallway quietly, lingering just behind the door frame to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“We’ve been together for so long, though”, Harry sighed.

“Did you not see what she did the other night? She was all over some other chick!”, a voice, Simon’s, exclaimed.

“Maybe it was just a mistake, y’know”, Harry tried to reason.

“She’s not good for you, Harry”, JJ, this time, said.

You’d heard enough. You turned the corner, coming face to face with all 7 of the boys. “Y/N…”, Harry trailed off.

“No, no. Carry on talking about me, it’s fine”, you said, voice lathered in artificial sweetness.

“Damnit, Y/N, it wasn’t like that”, Harry snapped, surprising everyone but you. “What are you doing?”, he asked as you started gathering a blanket off of the back of the sofa and plucking a hoodie off of the back of a dining room chair..

“Getting my shit and going”, you hissed.

“You’re being dramatic”, Harry scolded.

“No, Harry. I’ve put up with your bullshit since we were 18. I’m sick and tired of it. I’ve put my life on hold for long enough. You need someone, but I’m not that someone anymore. I’m sick of looking after you and letting your friends hate me just because you’re too much of a coward to tell them the truth”, you spat.

“We know everything, Y/N”, Ethan said smugly, rolling his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

“So you know that I started my degree late because I had to get Harry sober? You know that he’s cheated on me more times than I can count? You know that I’ve tried for 6 fucking years to get him to love me as much as I love him and it’s never fucking worked!?”, you all but yelled, shocking everyone in front of you.

“You think I don’t love you?”, Harry asked, voice frustrated and angry.

“I know that you don’t love me as much as I love you”, you told him simply. “You cancelled 3 anniversary dates to go on nights out with the guys. You made me cancel a weekend away because you wanted to go to Dubai. You get annoyed when I try to do my uni work. You let Ethan and JJ slag me off, practically to my face, and didn’t say a fucking word”, you told him.

You looked at Harry, waiting for a reaction. “Do you know how heartbreaking it is to hear my boyfriend’s best friends, people I’ve known for 6 years, say that I’m punching and that you deserve better? Did you think about how much it hurt me when you didn’t even flinch at what they said?”.

Harry’s face lit up in anger. “It’s not like you’ve been a good girlfriend!”, he spat.

“Because being a good girlfriend to you is like a full time job. It’s a full time job and I haven’t had a day off in over 5 years. So yeah, I’ve been a bad girlfriend… Boo fucking hoo”, you grumbled.

Harry remained silent, a sheepish look crossing his face. “We can try again”, he suggested quietly.

“We have! Over and over again!”, you exclaimed, tears welling in your eyes as you spoke. “I’m exhausted, Harry. I’m tired of looking after you when I’m just as hungover as you. I’m tired of not making plans because I literally can not afford for you to cancel on me anymore. You don’t value me or anything that I do. Your friends hate me and you don’t care. I’ve been your last priority for years and I’m sick of it. We’re done. I’ll put your stuff in a box and bring it round”, you told him, voice losing more and more strength as you spoke.

“Y/N…”, Harry tried, reaching for your arm.

“Don’t”.

[husbandohunter]

I AM ADDICTED TO STARDEW IMPACT!!! Ngl tho I could use Xiao’s stamina in the mines. Especially in the Wilderness farm.

What kind of farms did the boys and their s/o landed on tho??

Stardew Valley [Genshin Impact AU]

Synopsis: Which farm suits their personality (Continuation of Stardew Impact <.<)

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao, Zhongli, Childe, Albedo

Thank you! I’m happy that you like it hehe. Honestly both Xiao and Zhongli. I still can’t get through Skull Cavern floor 100, Xiao would be super good at handling monsters while Zhongli can do some fast mining cuz I’m out of bombs lol.

-----------------------

Diluc: Forest farm

Trees and secluded areas? Perfectly goes with that lone sojourner persona of his (you can’t convince me otherwise after this vid)

But consider his status as a wine owner, the forest farm is very appealing to him (most likely why the Dawn Winery was located near Wolvendom anyways), quality wood is extremely crucial for making kegs and barrels to store ingredients so they won’t go bad. Diluc finds this map very profitable for his business.

This is why most of the buildings on your land is made of wood. Thank god he doesn’t have his pyro vision.

But Diluc genuinely likes the fragrance of trees. After a long day of work, he likes to go out and just inhale the scent of damp moss combined with the woody smell attached to it, his mind feels alleviated from all the stress that was piling up

Bonus: Fruit bats. Foraging is a must to make good wine and mushrooms are out of the question (for now)

Kaeya: Beach farm

It’s the best place to get your suntans amirite? Honestly if this was a modern AU (which technically is), he’s totally the type of uni student to spend most of his weekends outside near the beach like the typical chad he is.

Plus he likes the variety, not just trees all the time because they’re boring. He enjoys the vast space and the ability to just look at the horizon whenever he needs to. It’s a habit of his. The sky holds many signs, it tells you the weather, shows you the time of day, it holds the stars in which determines the fate of humanity. Though...he doesn’t need to worry about those things anymore hmm?

Looks forwards to crates washing up onshore. Kaeya is very lucky actually (pirate’s luck?) Rather than mixed seeds (cuz fuck those), expect him to bring back some triple shot expressos, omnigeodes, artifact troves etc...

He was so lucky he once tried his luck at the casino. But stopped shortly after you found out and got mad at him.

Bonus: Mushroom cave. He heard you can make some very useful potions with them, or he can try mixing it with his wine.

Xiao: Riverland farm (what I chose uwu)

There’s something so serene about this environment. The type of guy just likes to chill by a river stream while sitting on top of a tree branch. Xiao uses the noise almost like a meditative practice, something he most likely did back in Liyue too. He can close his eyes and listen to it for hours.

Since this map is mainly good for fishing, it works generously in his favour. He can refill the water can whenever he needs to since watering crops is the only farm-related activity he can actually handle. He’s rather quite good at catching fish (although in a peculiar way) plus feeding them to your pet cat.

But Xiao dislikes how easily materials fall into the water. While he was chopping the trees down to clear out some space, it toppled down the wrong side and he lost most of the materials. Forever. Ugh, what a pain.

At least it’s less likely to be a mess. Through seasons, rocks and fallen trees tend to pile up. Thanks to the river taking up most of the space, he wouldn’t have to worry about clearing up land so much.

Bonus: Mushroom cave. Not because he likes mushrooms but he dislikes bats. Their constant squeaking is annoying.

Zhongli: Standard farm

Vanilla guy through and through. His taste in things tend to be very plain in general but as long as they meet the necessary requirements of what makes a perfect farm then there’s no need to complain. He takes farm work very seriously so it makes sense that he gets picky of what there is to offer.

The amount of land gets him very enthusiastic about how he wants to decorate it (he literally formed the land of Liyue so surely he must have some architect related knowledge). Has barns, coops, vineyards, seasonal crops grouped in an organized fashion.

Though that also means a lot of maintenance is required. Clean up, clearing the fern, fixing up broken fences. Many broken fences because he puts fences all over the place.

But because he’s so good at what he does, you guys make so much money. Perfectly balances his super-spending habit of his.

Bonus: Fruit bats. Mushrooms don’t have a very pleasant smell.

Childe: Wilderness farm

Are you surprised? Because I’m not. He can have combating activities for days. Childe is very adventurous at heart (hence why he joined the adventures guild) with bloodthirst that needs to be quenched.

This is why his combat level high (though it’s already high). He normally takes on treasure hoarders or mitachurls to test his abilities, the variety of monsters proved to be very entertaining to him. Vincent became his number 1 fan after listening to all the cool tales about him.

It’s very inconvenient for farm work though, you can never be too sure when a slime is about to jump on your back as you’re planting your seeds. The only plus side is that Childe helps you get some cool drops (including prismatic shards!) which can save you time with the community center.

Not ideal for fishing. Often you guys end up catching trash. You complain a lot and he begins to get annoyed with how many interruptions they bring. Well, it was fun while it lasted at least.

Bonus: Mushroom cave. He’ll need healing potions, lots of them.

Albedo: Hill-top farm

Not too much land, rivers aren’t too much either, everything was just right. The right amount of environment for cultivating his materials for his research. Albedo thinks the elevating platforms are pretty neat, very easy to locate the different areas when you can spot them easily.

A fan of studying the rocks of this world hence why this farmland is good for mining. Though the downfall was that not much farm work could be done, Albedo could care less unless crops were raised for formulas.

You will always find him outside, most likely by the southwest hilltop trying to gather precious ores and any signs of omnigeodes. After that, he goes to Rasmodius’ tower and conducts his experiments there. Albedo is restless ever since.

But the gifts you receive will always be interesting. You also like go mining in the caves, Albedo always crafts the necessary tools for you beforehand. You will never have to worry about missing anything.

Bonus: both. Mushroom and bats. Demetrius told him it was impossible, not like it was an issue anymore.

[jiminrings]

hellooo can i request a drabble of uni!au art major tae and biochem major yn? also part one of the would you series is AMAZINGGG seriously i cant wait to read more!! <3

rich kid kim

pairing: taehyung x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

notes: thank you for the request babes!! writing this made my heart melt and aND!!! thank you omg i’m glad you like would you :((

if you squint or if you’ve read insufferable, this is most probably taehyung and his y/n!!!

taehyung is personally more than willing to pay himself out of this project

oKAY LISTEN

he’s not the proudest knowing that he comes from a rich family and he’s the only kid and he’s never really struggled for much

everything was just given to him without any hesitations whatsoever

and yeah he admits that he can nEVER admit that his pampered and luxurious lifestyle since birth has shaped him to be this way and it’s hard to unlearn these types of things

things were too easy for him and thAt’s what made it hard

tae is the farthest thing from an outcast..,.,.,.,

.,.,. but that’s him in his usual rich boi bubble of elites wherever he goes because he’s surrounded by people like him

hoseok and jimin have got to be his closest friends but of course they pursued business degrees and everyone must’ve probably saw that coming

nobody, however, expected the kim taehyung to pursue a degree based rootly on passion and even major in it

yeah that’s right what are yOU looking at???

he’s an art student and yeah he’s taking this seriously ://

do yOU have a problem with that?? do you?? no what did you say?? step the fuck up ky-

spoiler alert: people do have a problem with that

taehyung could tell that his parents did a complete 180 when they learned through jimin’s noisy-ass mouth (not even through their own son) that he’s gonna be getting an art degree

his dad’s the one who’s most especially disappointed at him because well he’s the only child and uhhhh.,.,.,, so who’s gonna inherit the company now.,.,,,

tae normally feels selfish and this time, he felt like he was being rational rather than being selfish!! this is what he passionately wants!! pls god can i be selfish oNE more time

eventually his parents had no choice because as their son explained,, having an art degree won’t keep him away from the family business at all and he could even expand it!! he doesn’t need a degree!!! 

lmao he’s been putting the money he gets on the stock market ever since he was ten years old

and they had to accept it eventually because this is what HE wants and if this is the only thing that he wants... then might as well help him through it, right??

now this is another dilemma

taehyung’s applied at a regular university in which everyone’s blended together and no one really cares about who’s who

it’s not exclusive to people like him.

he submitted his requirements and his portfolios by himself!!

and he got accepted!!

he’s nOT SURE if it’s purely because of his skills and himself and not his parents’ money nor influence

whatever it is, he doesn’t want to know because if it ends up being the answer he doesn’t want?? lol he’d crawl into a hole and mope for a week and would be doomed to wear three-piece suits for the rest of his life 

so anyways

yeah..,, this is one of the handful of times that taehyung is completely willing to pay himself out 

this project was supposed to be easy enough as what the professor said but uH he’d like to passive-aggressively decline pls and thank you

their final project was to make a portrait

right?? easy!!

a portrait of sOMEONE IN CAMPUS,,, regardless if you know them or not

(( well of course you’d get to know them by the end because yea they’re required to show proof that they indeed met and the model did agree to be painted ))

and by the end of the project, it’s either they keep it to themselves or give it to the model!!

that should be easy, right??

...

....

...... pls say right

oh my god tae should probably drop out now so he doesn’t get to do this

rich people don’t necessarily have to be educated, right???? maybe he’ll just settle into being a himbo 

he learned about the meaning of the word through urban dictionary that he tHEN only learned about like six months ago and now he gets so many things

taehyung’s not intimidated by the workload of it all -- in fact, he’s even excited about it because it helps him relax!!

what he’s intimidated about is the fact that he’s kim taehyung and there are only two possible options

either his model would be someone who knows him and would be taking every possible step to ensure that they climb the social ladder through him and they’re not even gonna be dISCREET about it

OR

his model wouldn’t completely care about who he is and in the process belittles him upfront and tbh his hart wouldn’t be able to take that and he’s probably wipe his tears away with dollar bills

there is almost no in-between, that one he’s sure of

so why are you like this?

why are you neither of the two and why are you sO kind and go against his expectations????

do you have an ulterior motive or something????

you who’s a biochem major and is actually another building away from his own

you who’s made the initiative that you become hIS model

you who actually oFFERED and almost begged to be a part of a project that would only be for tae’s benefit

... aha

that’s about -5 points from being a cool laid-back nonchalant gal

+10 for looking like someone who’s had a massively obsessive crush on him since day one and looking like you’d lay his life for him

no but lmao actually you just learned about taehyung in a magazine

you were bored at the dentist’s and scrolled through every possible outlet in your phone and it didn’t satiate you anymore!!! so how about reading a good ol’ magazine :D

then came taehyung

it was a whole issue dedicated to him and you were probably too dedicated into reading it that this time it was you telling the dentist to wait lol

that’s as far as you knew about him

and then you learned just some weeks ago that taehyung happens to study where you also study at and that was.,., inch resting

you never really saw him before around campus because it was too big and well maybe if you put in the effort, you’d actually find him

maybe you had a tiny lil admiration for kim taehyung just from one whole issue alone you read at the dentist’s or whatever

you’ve only known about this final project situation through changbin!!!

changbin, your neighbor at the apartment next to you, who’d crash over whenever his wifi feels the tiniest bit slow

yes you did spend a little more money to upgrade your internet situation (most times it’s the router who makes all the difference) because you were so tIRED of having things slow in the middle of researching for your projects in biochem)

no you will nOT have that <3

and of course changbin’s not having your that shitty wifi either so he pushed you to get that in the first place so he can use it too lmao

he’s told you just a couple of days ago about his final project and that maybe, just maybe, he’d make it into a move for this girl that he likes

nothing’s more romantic than pleading for someone to paint ur face right

and your grade and the decision to whether you’re gonna pass or flunk and graduate or retake are relying on you mostly

and in changbin’s case it’s also hIS heart on the line so yeah no pressure at all luv

“i kinda feel bad for rich kid kim, y’know?”

“what about taehyung???”

“eW do you have a crush on him??”

“addressing someone by their name equals to a crush??????”

your banters never stop because you’re as quick-witted as him and he both loves and hates it

he loves that omg someone can keep up with him and that way he gets challenged to always have the last say!!

he hates that oh god why is he friends with someone who reminds him of himself so much how is hE gonna deal with that??

sometimes he’ll purposely argue with you to fEEL something lmao

but there’s just something here that tells him you’re a little more interested now in this flow of conversation ever since rich kid kim was mentioned

“hm, nothing. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a model yet.”

he dodges you in the kitchen to look for peanut butter in your cupboard and oddly... you’re not berating him for decreasing your groceries....?

what does changbin mean by that? whAt model?? model as in taehyung doesn’t have the newest model of whatever car he wants? or maybe he has a model girlfriend and-

hold on wait wHAT

taehyung has a-

“m-model?”

he looks at you weirdly but you don’t even bat an eye when he gets ahold of your marshmallow spread so that he could make another one of his s’mores sandwiches

“uhhhh model as in he doesn’t have someone to paint for our project??”

is that what you wanted to hear or,.,

you and changbin share one (1) brain cell and it SHOWS

the two of you have to open your mouths, then close, then ponder, and then do that aGAIN until the both of you could finally grasp if you were in the same page

“oh cool!! i’ll be his model then!”

“yeah but did he ask”

“it’s gonna be easy!! i’ll just tag along with you to your building”

“yeah but did he aSK”

“we’re probably gonna hit it off instantly and then you’ll have to leech off from someone else for their wifi and food and every other necessity that you already have-”

“yeah but dID HE ASK????”

long-story short: no. taehyung most certainly did not ask you to be his model.

but here you are

saying that you came a long way is a bit of a stretch because taehyung mostly turns his head the other way around when you call out to him in public

progress is still progress :D

you’re eating lunch with him at the same table and this time you’re sat beside him!! when normally he’d just walk home to his apartment (lol that’s not allowed but you won’t be surprised to know that he has a free pass) and eat!!!

before that, taehyung would gLARE at you until you stop asking to sit with him in his table

yea he gets a bit lonely at time because jimin and hobi aren’t with him and hE’S the outcast but he won’t do anything about it,, just scroll through his phone while he eats and tune everyone out

you figured that maybe it’s changbin always linked with you in lunch because your schedules just matched up thAt perfectly like it does with tae’s

hee-hee so you might have elbowed him until he begrudgingly agreed to be tolerable, keep atleast four feet of distance from you, and not call tae rich kid kim

spoiler alert: taehyung doesn’t really care about whatever you do because doing those changes with changbin did nOT work at all

however

H O W E V E R

taehyung doesn’t know at all how you’ve wormed your way into his heart!!

what seem to be cold to you is his warmest he’s ever been in such a new environment and outside of his usual comfort bubbles!!!

it’s like you occasionally stealing the food from his plate when you have the same thing is the equivalent of h*lding h*nds with him

you putting your leg over his before he pushes it after five seconds mUST be the equivalent to marriage

wait he’s lying

taehyung does know how you’ve wormed your way to his heart

“hi! i’m y/n! :D”

ok u are a little bit sweaty and out of breath from doing all that fast-paced walking for the past ten minutes

your new shoes that you still need to break into further aren’t helping your situation in the slightest bit

honestly? this is all changbin’s fault <3

he unknowingly gave you the sign that you were looking for

if he says yeah five times with five minutes?? okay yeah you’re definitely looking for kim taehyung and offering yourself to become his model

you don’t wanna sound weird but you feel sorry for him and you wanna help him :((

he’s not helping you tho because he has long legs underneath those trousers and it looked like he wouldn’t budge at all not unless you jogged and stopped right in front of him

“hi! i’m y/n!! :D”

“...”

“.....”

tae’s a bit... perplexed

because who’s THIS entity and why are you standing in front of him

...

....

“bye y/n.”

:]

he wants to exit from this situation because oh my god??

why r u like this

he didn’t ASK for your name!!

and he doesn’t even know you and giving him your name honestly won’t do anything and he doesn’t get what’s your motive and-

“oh c’mon!! you didn’t even shake my hand :((”

he feels even more lost as he tries to wrap his head around that uh.....

you uh.... you wanted a handshake??

.....

tae doesn’t even hide his annoyance because it’s clear as day!!!

he’s blatantly tilting his head at you rudely with a blank stare omg take the hint pLEASE

realizing it now you mAY have came on too strong to taehyung that looks confused as ever

“hi, i’m y/n.”

changbin’s by one of the lockers taking pics of you beaming at taehyung and him scowling down to show you later how dumb you look and how you shouldn’t do this at all

okay LISTEN

his personality trait is to immediately assume the worst out of every scenario possible and that way when something slightly less worse happens? that’s a win babie ;D

he became ur friend in the first place because you heard him yelling since he’s at the door right next to yours and you could hEAR him throwing things around as he cusses his laptop

yeah he cusses his laptop what about it??

if you close your eyes hard enough, you could hear him throw his router against the wall (you later learned that he was so close to finishing his digitalization but then his laptop decided to die) before punching the air

(( the friendship started when you knocked vERY gently and offered him to borrow your laptop even if you aren’t done with all your homework ))

((( changbin thought at first that u were such an organized and too-friendly social butterfly who’s a kiss-ass to everyone but now he thinks ur the coolest person ever and he treasures you more than life itself )))

although, taehyung’s a lot more vicious and closed-off and critical than changbin

he narrows his gaze at you as you introduce yourself for the second time before merely clicking his tongue

“ok cool”

is that uhm

is that IT good sir

“you’re not,” you’re dancing around your words and being careful to not let a pout grace your lips at the sheer lack of enthusiasm, “gonna introduce yourself to me??”

you got a reaction alright

taehyung sCOFFS and that’s the loudest he’s ever been with you in the span of two minutes

“you followed me for ten minutes just to tell me your name. kinda seems like you already know mine if you do that, no?”

this is why you took up biochem instead of law

how do the lawyers not break down???

why does phoenix wright make it seem SO easy?? especially when he’s spoken to in a confrontal tone???

oh god taehyung broke you already

not to be rude but uh what do you wANT

can you get it over already??

“o-oh! uhm i was wondering if i could uHm,” you sound ridiculous now that you think about it and this is perhaps one of the only times you feel embarrassed, “volunteer to be your model for your project?”

hmm

was that a wrong answer,,,

sHOULD YOU HAVE SAID THAT??

“are you in my class?”

taehyung asks and he’s finally said a sentence to you!!! omg

you’re quite shocked so he had to click his tongue to get you to answer 

“no, actually!! i’m a biochem major and-...”

that’s all it takes before he hums and nods his head

and for some reason taehyung looks at you like you’re pREY

“are you a stalker?”

okay wait holy fuck wHAT

you know what

you took a sip from changbin’s coffee half an hour ago but why are you only choking on it nOW

you’re positively sputtering and now ur pressured bc tae thinks you’re a stalker!!! a damn stalker!!

“looked at you long enough. i don’t need a sketch artist and i could just-”

no no no pls no

this meeting is going downhill very quickly 

“oh my god taehyung i’m nOT a stalker okay!!!”

that shuts him up because your voice is so firm and okAY then how do u explain this stalker smh ://

throughout the whole time you’re talking about changbin being an art major and also your neighbor and everything in between, tae has such a neutral expression that you feel so intimidated

“-and that’s what!! i’m not taking advantage of you or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking i guess? i swear!!”

he listened and well if he’s being honest,,, okay yea you did make sense and he does know changbin

“okay then. i’ll think about it.”

“are you gonna give me your number???”

it’s either you’re so forward or he’s just not used to being caught off-guard

WHICH FUCKING ONE

“what for?”

it’s been so long ever since someone asked taehyung for his number

usually in galas and any other socialite gatherings you could think of, everyone’s number would just be in your phone automatically and you won’t even rEMEMBER how it got there in the first place

better yet, it’s been so long since he went back to his usual routine lifestyle of being himself 

his last gala was two weeks ago and tae had to keep looking at his phone to study pdfs and whatever clear pictures he can get of his reviewers back at home because he had a test tomorrow morning

“so you could text me where we’re gonna meet so you could paint me, silly!!”

:D

okay wOAH there

“i didn’t even say that you’d be my model????”

“lol but you were thinking it huh”

that’s it

taehyung has nO choice but to paint you if he wants to finish this project and graduate and have something of a thicker paper to flaunt

it came as a shock to him that hE took your offer and he could only imagine its effect on you

not to brag but tae didn’t even have to sweat for a little because it’s yOU who came to him with this offer!! not him!!

tae lives in the classiest apartment here in uni and everyone probably knows that

much to his insistence that he doesn’t want anyone from uni going outside his apartment, he had to take an L and invite you over

he wouldn’t risk doing his work in any place else because he doesn’t want anyone thinking and getting the wrong idea!!

speaking of, he’s regretting it now because you seem to be too happy being in his space

you’re pointing around and being awed at every possible thing!!! 

what??? is this ur first time seeing a rattan hanging chair :// or a massive couch?? or a canvas painting of something so beautiful?? all of that in what’s supposed to be a student’s one apartment??? christ y/n get yourself together

“so what do you want me to do?? where do i sit oR do i stand instead?? i’m gonna need you to know that-...”

“nothing.” taehyung deadpans before he gets his camera so he could get digital shots as well if ever he needs an extra touch when it comes to his final product

the gears in your head are going bRRR and you’re gonna have to ask him to elaborate but taehyung already sets the pace

“nothing. just be your rEALLY annoying self and pretend i’m not here.”

normally you don’t take his words to heart but this one just hits a little close to home bc it’s early in the morning and taehyung already finds you intolerable

“by pretend, do you mean-...”

“up to you. are you more annoying around me or no?”

how did he read your MIND

tae got the thoughts in your head word per word and you’re so amazed at that because fUcK you originally thought that he’s good at bluffing his way up

click!

it’s you smiling at him

no you’re beaming at him

and you’re in front of his morning-lit curtains and you’re against the light

the portrait itself is already visually appealing and satisfying and man the shadows!!! the value!!!! they’re so raw and dreamy and this is exactly his style!!!

it was just a one-take wonder as soon as he took a picture of you!!! and he may have you to hold that position if he needs the push!! he just needs to translate it to canvas with his own language and emotions and then he’s dONE!!

you’re a pain in the ass

you laugh and you move too much

taehyung had you to to revisit that pose and hold it and you wouldn’t stop giggling bc you were too proud that you did THAT!

you also ask too many things that even hE doesn’t have the answers to

how is he supposed to know if red string lovers exist when you went into a spiel just because you saw a red tube of paint???? and why is he saying his opinions on such trivial things when he has his final project to take care of???

and how is he supposed to know why YOU’RE here hanging out with him instead of finishing your own final project

jk maybe it’s the L word but you’re gonna subdue that as much as possible since taehyung looks like he’d leave you by yourself with any chance that he gets

and you even call him terms of endearment!!! nicknames!! pet names!! names that you’d call someone who’s familiar to you and you probably l*ve!!!

angel

that’s what you call him :))

“why do you call me that?”

“because you look like one”

“and how would yOU know what angels look like??”

“because if they were to exist then you’d probably look like one!!”

“but-”

“ok that’s one minute no more questions taehyung <3″

tae just provides you with all the conviction you need to take care of him without even knowing

not in a maternal type of instinct type of way, but rather in a sPECIAL someone type of way

you find yourself caring for him mOre than you ever could for any regular friend you have!!

you just throw a whole loaf of bread to changbin and call it a day

but for tae??? you go above and beyond!!

“did it ever hit you that rich kid kim never really introduced himself to you?”

oh right....

changbin points out one day and you could see where he was getting at

for some reason he always knew what was in your mind at any given time and sometimes it’s to your disadvantage

you seem to be growing on taehyung though!!

he tolerates you better now!!

sometimes he’ll find you loveable even

he likes having someone around and you’re the perfect contender

if he decides to not talk too much, then you fill up the white noise!!

if he wants you to shut up?? then yOU shut up but of course not without babbling for a little

he’s opened up but with some reservations

some reservations that you don’t mind but it’s normal that you feel sometimes left out, y’know??

because it’s been a good month since you and taehyung properly interacted but he still resents you as much if you think about it

“hey angel!!”

“what is it-...”

taehyung looks up from his meal that he’s been poking at his fork because this has to be the fourth time you call out to him

so he turns to look at you and-

oh

uhm

there seems to be a misunderstanding

you weren’t calling HIM

you were calling out to some other guy that iSN’T him

that’s seungmin!!! omg you haven’t seen him in so long and he just happened to pass by your lunch table!!!

apparently he has something to talk to you about which is why you’re standing up and leaving tae all alone on the table

seungmin’s smile is adorable as always and he gets you in a pretty good mood!!

oh god

dear gOD

what is taehyung feeling in his chEST???

tae’s grip on his fork is starting to get pRETTY tight

and if he’s aware enough, his right eye’s twitching and he’s practically scoffing under his breath

why tf would you call him that

WHO is angel and why is it nOT him anymore????

what he’s feeling is just unexplainable and it tastes something like betrayal

“who’s he?”

he quizzes you as soon as you get back to your table and you don’t waver one bit because you know he’s been asking questions recently

“oh that’s just seungmin!! we were childhood friends then he just transferred here awhile-...”

there’s a bitter taste on his tongue and it shows up in his face and you’re not even paying attention to him!!

“really? thought i was him for a second.”

ok now that got you to stop eating

????

why is he acting weird

taehyung looks even more irked because you look sO oblivious right now

“do you call everyone angel?”

o-oh where is this going

“uhm-”

you’re not even finished and to be honest you’re quite lost and taehyung sCOFFS you to the next century

“‘course you do.”

taehyung angrily finishes his meal and you leave it at that because ok maybe he had a bad day?? and he’s just taking it out on you??

and well tae DOESN’T want you to leave it at that

he wants you to ASK him why he’s mad!!! he’s passive-aggressive and it’s getting unhealthy but he’d rather choke than have him spill whatever he’s feeling

the next few days, taehyung avoids you like his LIFE depended on it

you’re not really bothered by it because he has his days, but this one’s just getting out of control

“are you giving me a time-out or something??”

lmao what did u do now

you nudge him when you see him by changbin’s apartment to borrow an easel even though he’s already got it by his apartment

yeah he’s mad at you and he’s petty but maybe he wants to see you again

tae’s giving you silent treatment and you don’t even question him for it

you don’t bother!!

you’re letting him do whatever he wants as always and he dOESN’T like it anymore!!!

he feels like he’s gonna combust at any given time and you don’t give a shit and he feels like yOU should give a shit because you always do!!

you always hover and worry around him but wHY does he feel like you’re not doing it anymore??

why does he yEARN FOR YOU???

it’s quite an an early night for you

you love biochem but sometimes it kicks your ass and it makes you retch at the mention of all-nighters nowadays!! bc they used to be fun but now doing them because you nEED to?? no thx

you’re already in your pajamas and you’re all washed up!! what could changbin need from you at 9 in the evening??

there’s an urgent knocking on your door and you resist the need to groan because you were about to really knock yourself out!! you need to get back all the rest you’ve wasted over your own final project

is that-

“taehyung?”

the man in question is in his huge yellow hoodie that swallows him up every time and he looks positively spent

his hair’s shaggy and his eyes are glazed and there’s a pink tint to his cheeks :((

he’s holding a baby hydroflask in his hands and you’re pretty sure that’s alcohol in there lol

“don’t call me taehyung!!”

he immediately snaps and you’re lost as aLWAYS

did he really just walk all the way to your complex to snAp at you??

“i’m not taehyung,” he frowns deeply and that’s when you’re a bit more mesmerized, “i’m angel.”

is this what you think it is??

your no.1 deflection move is to laugH and you’re doing that rn

something about this whole situation tickles you funny and you’re not sure what to feel about it

“i like your bottle!! i should get one for myself!!”

he could see right through you though

he ignores your stOOpid statements and goes to hold your hands :((

“no, no. i’m your angel. i-i’m your taehyung, right??”

listen

taehyung is the most confusing being you know and he’s so emotionally constipated that he outperforms changbin but this one,,,

this just feels so different

he’s hugging you

he’s embracing you

he’s burrowing his face to your neck and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t ever imagine what this would feel like :(((

he positively 100% might be in love with you

and you positively 100% might be in love with him too

he’s fishing for your hand by your side to put in between your bodies as he shakes it and that’s because he doesn’t wanna let go of the hug 

:((((

you’re melting and this what heaven must feel like :((((

“h-hi. name’s kim taehyung and i’m yours.”

[earthly--truth]

What I believe in

These are my beliefs as someone who aligns with democratic socialism and progressivism. Feel free to critique it, challenge it, even just a few sections, whatever, but this is what I believe will make the world a better place, because people (and animals) deserve to live the best possible lives they can live with the only chance at life they got. This is going to be super general and long, and not get into nearly everything, but I hope it sheds a positive light on leftism.

Strong unions so that workers (the majority of people in society) have the ability have better footing to negotiate better wages, work hours, vacation days, benefits, etc. I also believe that in instances where it’s pragmatically viable that there should be a push for more worker co-op’s, in which every employee has a stake in the company they work at, and the ability to give their input (all companies should strive for more democracy). Both of these contribute to healthier, happier, and, and better payed people.

Raising the minimum wage in the U.S to $15 an hour. The current wage of  $7.25 is way too low. It’s just not a livable wage. There’s a reason why McDonald’s and Walmart are called corporate welfare queens, and it’s because they’re employees require welfare to survive, despite being the biggest corporations on the planet with multi-billionaire CEO’s. The richest in society should also pay more in taxes.

Stop investing so much in the American military, cut it by a third if you can. (Firstly this frees up a lot of money for other things) Get the military out of the middle east, and create other more peaceful avenues to ensure it doesn’t crumble like every single time the military pulls out and doesn’t try to actually fix the mess they created. The people in the middle east deserve to be able to rebuild and they’ll need help to do that (just not the type of help where america installs their own leaders).

Healthcare should be universal, paid for by taxes. Every developed nation is capable of doing it. Many developing countries are doing it. Americans pay more in taxes for healthcare than so many other countries, yet a trip to the hospital still can put you in debt for the rest of your life. That is inhumane, and people shouldn’t have to choose between crippling debt and their health.

There’s also an argument to be made for free/way cheaper university, since countries like Canada or America force people to get a degree if they want to live a decent life, yet in order to do that you have to pay $15,000 a year for university. A system like that either forces people to skip out on uni, or again go into major debt. If Europe can figure it out, I think the U.S and Canada can figure it out too.

Black Lives Matter. To be more specific, I want police/criminal justice/prison reform. I want police de-militarized and to stop acting so abusive towards to civilians and real justice for the police that do, I want an end on the war on drugs (this helps drug addicts get help and delivers a blow to gangs and the cartel). I want an end to mass incarceration and laws that make it easier to throw people in jail for years for basically nothing. I want an end to for profit prisons. I want an end to the policy of retribution rather than rehabilitation for inmates (countries who rehabilitate are way more successful at non-returning inmates). I want an end to treating prisoners like slaves so corporations can get cheap labour. I also want the government to actually start caring about the poorest communities, many of which are predominantly black and latino (in cities anyways). (Also the indigenous in Canada). Better infrastructure, better public works programs. These all contribute to the proliferation of these communities and helps lessen the potential for criminality by making their lives better.

The dismantling of gender norms and roles, and de-stigmatization of LGBTQ+ people. I want people to be whoever they want to be. For far too long we have expected men and women to act a certain way. Women have come a long way, but there are still remnants of the old way of looking at things. We still have a lot of social stigma about how women should look, and that they are not worth even paying attention to if they aren’t conventionally attractive. We still have social stigma about sexuality and sex work. We hyper sexualize women in the media, yet shame women as sluts if they have a lot of sex. We shame women who choose abortion as murderers, yet don’t offer any support for the mother once the child has arrived. On top of that, the positions of power are still predominantly very old men. I also believe in helping men. Men are lonelier, men are increasingly staying sexless (not by choice), men are getting more suicidal. I want to address this two ways. One, by tackling toxic masculinity (not masculinity itself, just the bad parts). TM is telling men to man up and not to cry, TM is telling men not to act feminine or gay. TM is telling men to bottle up their emotions and resolve their problems through violence. The second way to address this is through my beliefs about workers. Men are the most suicidal in countries where there is a heavy work culture, like Japan and South Korea. Where they can’t have lives, and live to make money for the company they work at. That isn’t good.

When it comes to LGBTQ+ people, we need more positive representation in the media. We need people to see gay, trans, and non-binary people as normal people. When it comes to trans people specifically, we need to end the constant wars against them. Whether you’re talking about bathrooms, or sports, or children/teens receiving trans affirming healthcare. Let trans people be the gender that they say there are in the places they want to be, and allow them to receive the healthcare they need which is just the overwhelming medical consensus. This, combined with more supportive parents. all goes a long way to reducing the suicide rate amonst trans people.

The proliferation of the developing world. I want developing countries to be more autonomous, and to stop being under the boot of western corporations. I want an end to sweatshop labour or borderline sweatshop labour. I want the west to stop treating these actual people like their robots for pennies to produce our ungodly amounts of junk, and to actually pay these people decent wages. I want the world bank to stop giving money in an exploitative way to poor nations so that they cave to western business interests. These are people, human beings, and they deserve to develop and live good lives just like us. I also want them to fight for democracy in their countries.

Environmentalism. To go off the last section, 100 Corporations are contributing 71% of greenhouse gases. That needs to change. Corporations are participating ungodly amounts of devastations to eco-systems and the atmosphere. Ecosystems destroyed, and the exacerbation of the climate crises. I want a green and blue earth, and that can start by a) changing to green energy as much as humanly possible; solar, wind, and even nuclear (and whatever we come up with in the future) are far better than the fossil fuels we use now, which we’ll run out of anyways. And second we need to hold corporations accountable for destroying the planet. If we don’t do this, we risk the climate crises getting really bad. Oceans rising which will flood coastlines, creating millions of refugees, more periods of extreme dry (no water/bush fires) and extreme cold (look at what happened to texas). Something needs to be done about it.

Finally, veganism, for many reasons. One, the switch to veganism will be a big contributor to saving the planet. Whether you’re talking about the devastation we do to places like the Amazon Rain forest and other ecosystems to clear the way for animal farming, or whether you’re talking about reducing emissions. Most emissions and waste from agriculture are from the production phase of animal farming. So much food, water, and energy is wasted by giving it to billions of animals that we purposefully breed into existence, then slaughter, rinse and repeat, every single year, when we could just grow food and give water to people and skip out the middle man (think about how many people are hungry and without water in the world).

Philosophically, it is also wrong to kill a living creature that desires to live, that is able to connect with other living things and it surrounding, to form bonds. A cow, pig, chicken, lamb, sheep, are no different than a dog, cat, or rabbit, and they should not be killed, exploited, and tortured (confinement, abusive conditions in industrial farms) for pleasure. I know it’s pleasure for most people, because vegans are living proof that you can live happy and healthy lives without animal products. Vegans are statistically healthier than non-vegans, and we can get all the nutrients we need, even on an inexpensive diet. There are exceptions of course. A very small portion of people literally cannot eat plants and can only eat meat, and the developing world doesn’t have the same access to vegan products as the developed world does. Those people are valid, but many many people can make the switch and they should, especially in the developed world

All I see from this is making the world better. Hopefully you can too.

[succubratty]

So far, so good: my journey getting more involved with my kinks and sexuality

CW: fart kink/mention of kinks in general/personal

I found this old long-ass writing about my journey through this kink, I'm going to turn 28 this Saturday, and I feel kind of old because most of my mutuals and people I follow in this community are just starting their 20s.

I don't know if this can be of any help or just entertaining to read, just wanted to share it. 🥰

When I realized I had this fetish, I was in such denial because I felt like a double freak or something. After all, I also have a scat kink.

I found out during my adolescence, and I always felt terrible about it; even when I turned 18 giving space to my sexual stuff was always hard for me.

When I came out as a transgirl at 22, the sexual stuff also came out, so I decided to give it a shot and express my fart fetish (and other sex-related stuff).

I created a secondary Tumblr account to meet with people, this was back in 2016, and the fart fetish community back then was so broad. 

I've met many friendly people and was so happy to finally talk openly about it.

I did some sexting for the first time and a bunch of stuff that was very new to me; talking with ppl from other countries with the same fetish as you is so cool.

So months passed, and some girls really wanted to meet me, and I was so excited; I did some skype sessions and tried my best to speak good English. 😅 

So here it is when the sad part begins; I only did skype meetings because most of these girls lived in the USA, and I'm from Chile. 😭

Until this day, I've never met a girl from my country that has this fetish; Chilean people tend to be super conservative with their sex life, and talking about regular vanilla sex is too much, even scandalous.

I started virtual sex work, too, because I was so broke. 

I made some customs, mostly scat and pee, and the payment was reasonable.

It helped me save money for my HRT and other medical expenses and made me feel good about myself.

I always have been insecure about my body; being a chubby trans girl experiencing dysmorphia and dysphoria simultaneously, it's never a good combo. 

Doing this helped me work on my self-esteem; I was also going through a big depressive crisis.

I was thrilled to express my sexuality, but the funny thing Is that during that time, I was still a big virgin, and I have never dated a girl before, I had never kissed a girl before, and so on and so forth.

I tried tinder and all kinds of dating apps. 

The frustrating thing about those apps is that they were so f*cking binary, like they didn't have more options than "male" or "female."

Anyways dating was always hard as fuck for me, and coming out didn't make it easier; I had many bad angsty moments, tons of transphobia, and all kinds of shitty stuff.

I was really discouraged from everything and was ready to quit, but in 2017, I started chatting with a girl.

She was from my country, followed my fetish Tumblr account, and did virtual sex work, too, her content was more BDSM oriented than anything, so we matched very quickly.

After a couple months of talking, she asked me on an IRL date; I was so blushed; I had never been asked on a date before; on the dating apps, I just meet with someone after uni or work, and we see if it worked or not, it was like that, at least for me.

Since the first date, I wanted to be super honest, I told her about my fart fetish, and she laughed, "I know, dummy, I see the stuff you reblog on your Tumblr; we are mutuals, remember?" 

I blushed but always needed to double-check things because anxiety kills me.

She was super cool about it; after I told her that, she gave me a face of relief and added, "It's so good because I fart a lot, and I don't want to hold my farts during our dates" we both laughed a lot.

On our first date, we went to see a movie; we barely watched it because she kissed me with so much enthusiasm, and I was like, holy shit, my first kiss EVER, and they were so many in a row with so much intensity. 🙈

Welp, five years later, she is now my fiancé. 🥰

She's not into this kink per se, she doesn't get turned on by my farts, but I can fart around her; it took me like six months, but I finally could do it.

She gets so turned on indulging me with her farts during our regular dates, especially during sex.

Non-consent farting over someone turns me off, so If I fart in front of her, it doesn't turn me on.

We've talked about searching for a girl/femme-aligned person who could be interested in being our play partner/friend with my fetishes, someone who wants to worship my ass and eat my farts out. 🤭

Our relationship is open in many ways, but I love her with my life; she's my best friend, my partner in crime, my everything.

I'm eager to find some play partners and make a stinky mess together. 🙈

And that's my story.

If you read this till the end, thank you so much!

I appreciate it a lot. 🥰

SuccuBratty 💖

[shinjaeha]

ipytm ep 2 (thoughts + spoilers)

i’ve been trying my hardest to forget about iptym during the week so the countdown to each new ep won’t feel as long, but i don’t think i’ve succeeded. with each new ep i feel more and more nervous and excited bc i know the conflict and angst is only going to keep ramping up as the series goes on (and this ep was a good indication of that...not FULL BLOWN angst yet, but the undercurrent of angst is slowly starting to come to the surface). i’m def more prepared for it than i was during itsay, but that doesn’t make it easy ;;;

the standard ‘this is not a proper analysis’ here...i’m completely aware that this post in particular is really messy, but i just had a lot of mixed feelings and thoughts with this ep. one day i will learn how to condense my thoughts better, but today is not that day so i’m doing this under a read more for once bc it’s embarrassingly long 😂

we start off with teh in acting class where his teacher is explaining how you need to be able to understand yourself before you’re able to understand other people (and therefore put yourself in the shoes of the character you’re playing)...which even before i knew where this ep was going to go felt a lot like foreshadowing for the events that were going to unfold in this ep.

the acting exercises are basically a lot like the ones that we see bkpp (and the rest of the cast) having to do as part of their workshops in the documentary eps, so it’s kind of cool to see them incorporate parts of that into the actual show itself. feels more authentic since, if you’ve watched the documentary eps, you know that this is actually what the actors have to go through when they’re learning to let themselves go and get into character.

so through this montage of all of teh’s classes, we get to see how much he’s enjoying learning more and more about his major. it’s truly his passion, and he’s finally in his element. and it’s great that he’s surrounded by so many seniors that are also as driven and passionate about performing as he is...i find it interesting how teh, even from the start, has always been most attracted to people that have the same sense of ambitiousness as he does. in itsay, his best friend (aside from oh-aew obv) was tarn, who had a very similar mindset as him. so here, it’s not really that much of a surprise that all his uni friends are basically the drama club seniors that he sees as role models. oh-aew is kind of that one outlier bc he doesn’t fit that same mould/personality type that teh tends to surround himself with, which is where you can already start to see the discord between them arising. in itsay, bc oh-aew was working towards the same end goal as teh at the time, it wasn’t as much of a conflict. but in ipytm we can see that their paths are starting to diverge more and more. that being said, oh-aew’s someone that teh truly needs in his life bc he offers a different perspective to most of teh’s other friends, and as we can see later on, teh REALLY needs that.

now THIS was one of the interactions i was really interested in. we already knew from the ep 2 teaser that teh isn’t exactly happy with oh-aew’s new friend group, so i’ve been waiting to see how teh acts when he’s around them. everyone’s at q’s house celebrating plug’s birthday, and honestly?? they’re all really sweet and accommodating of teh (they get him sweet drinks bc teh tells them that he doesn’t drink bc it’s too bitter, and they don’t pressure him when he says he can’t drink bc he’s got morning classes). but then the conversation turns to teh and oh-aew becoming actors and earning lots of money (and how convenient that is), and teh starts to get a little riled up. i don’t think they mean anything by what they’re saying (they’re just playing around), but we know that teh's sensitive to this sort of thing, and i think to him, it’s almost like they’re saying it’s ‘easy’ to become an actor and start making bank. teh, who already knows how hard it is (esp since he’s been watching how difficult it’s been for khim in particular), starts getting defensive about it. the focus being on money hits a nerve with him too bc teh is very clearly majoring in comm arts bc it’s his dream, not bc of the money he could make from it. teh and oh-aew’s gang are just on different wavelengths, and you can really start to see how teh’s having trouble bonding with oh-aew’s gang bc of their differing mindsets.

it makes me slightly sad that you can see how worried oh-aew is about teh and his friends not meshing. it’s like we, the audience, are all feeling what oh-aew is feeling...his nervous glances at teh bc he’s afraid that teh might not like them. and the discomfort on teh’s part too. all of oh-aew friends tend to be a lot more like him, relaxed and happy to go with the flow, but we know that teh can be pretty rigid and intense about the things that he’s passionate about. oh-aew recognises this, which is why he’s as anxious as he is in the first place.

oh-aew’s tea tattoo in honour of teh is actually so sweet 😭 it shows how much teh means to him. he really got a permanent mark on his body to symbolise his love for his boyfriend ;;; but from teh’s perspective, it’s literally that first mark of change. it IS a pretty big decision, so i don’t blame teh for being shocked about it, but teh likely sees this as oh-aew’s friends being a ‘bad’ influence on him (which we know gets brought up again later). not bc of the tattoo itself, but bc of what it represents. it’s like he’s watching oh-aew start to change before his very eyes and he doesn’t know how to deal with that so he brushes it away for now.

the framing of that shot where teh and oh-aew are facing each other and then q comes to walk in between them is A LOT like how they used to frame the both of them in itsay and having bas walk in between them. interesting.

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THE FACT THAT OH-AEW SPEAKS CHINESE WHEN HE’S DRUNK...that’s just plain adorable :’) it’s like he’s reverting back to when teh was teaching him chinese and they were first falling in love again. teh’s method of getting close to him was always tutoring oh-aew in chinese, so it’s as though oh-aew is trying to feel closer to teh again by speaking chinese to him. sort of like he’s trying to recreate that feeling all over again. i also love that this is basically the opposite of that oppo short film ad bkpp did haha.

we got the “ke yi ma” “ke yi” again ;;;;;;;; i love their little domestic moments. they’re so soft when they’re like this (i know we’re gonna have to weather the angst, but i hope we still have a lot more fluffy moments like this too pls). side note, i really love the lighting in these scenes!!

when oh-aew reads teh’s note about the kimchi jjigae and smiles but then reads the “do not skip class” and his smile fades away...oh, oh-aew, i feel u.

so now we get to see oh-aew in acting class, and the difference between oh-aew’s feelings towards class and teh’s feelings are like night and day. teh’s classes make him feel so fulfilled...this is genuinely something that he wants to do. but oh-aew is struggling. he doesn’t have that same sense of purpose as teh bc he’s starting to realise that this might not be what he really wants...he’s trying but just not enjoying it at all. when teh tells him about the casting call, i feel so much dread for him bc he’s clearly not looking forward to it whatsoever, but he knows how much this means to teh...so he’s willing to ignore his feelings for now if teh’s happy :(

is it just me or was this when oh-aew stopped carrying his ‘heart attack’ bag too??

idk this struggle in particular just feels so personal to me. i really identify with oh-aew when it comes to this bc when i was at uni i changed my major like 3-4 times (and changed unis a bunch of times on top of that) bc i had NO IDEA what i wanted to do. even now, i still have no clue what i’m doing a lot of the time. i’m glad that oh-aew at least managed to find some sort of clarity when he dropped in on his friends’ advertising class and realised that this was something that he enjoyed and was good at :’)

teh’s so excited and focussed on this audition that he can’t even see how worried and reluctant that oh-aew is about this. he wants them to have the same dream so bad that he can’t see that this might not be oh-aew’s dream anymore. but anyway, oh-aew is the sweetest, best boy as always. he’s so, so encouraging with teh. so patient. he really such a great balance to teh’s more volatile nature...but that contrast is also what makes you feel so bad for him when teh lashes out at him without thinking (as he’s prone to doing).

i LOVE khim. i just have so much respect for her. she’s always trying her hardest, and it’s painful to see her give so much of herself yet constantly be knocked down. the resilience that takes. i know that that’s part of the industry she’s in, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. there’s a lot to be said about how harsh the entertainment industry can be (and the inherent ageism/sexism/homophobia within it), which i don’t have the time to go into here, but having to hear criticism like that...purely based on your looks (you don’t look smart enough, young enough, manly enough, etc.) is so incredibly disheartening. teh commenting on how harsh it is, and khim saying that it’s super common and telling the both of them how they’re gonna have to go through all of that the more casting calls they go to...OF COURSE oh-aew is only going to feel even more dispirited about this when he’s already realising that this might not be his thing anymore.

being able to take rejection and criticism is really fucking difficult (i know i could never do it)...and seeing oh-aew being told that he’s not ‘manly’ enough/too ‘girly’ in acting class and again at the casting call is yet another knock at his confidence. the way you physically see oh-aew get more flustered and anxious as the audition goes on, when he sees the crew shaking their heads at him :((( i feel all the nervousness, anxiety and embarrassment that he’s feeling right down to my very bones. then to walk out from that audition to khim talking about how damn hard it is to keep doing this time and time again only to be continually rejected?? my poor boy :( what’s fascinating to me is how differently the both of them interpret khim’s speech. teh latches on to her words and sees them as motivation to keep going...to keep trying and persevering. like a challenge. but to oh-aew, he just sees the difficulty and rejection. the instability of this career path, and how hard this could potentially be on his family as well. they’re both hearing completely different things.

teh being so happy about his audition even though he didn’t get the part and the way he turns around to face oh-aew directly when oh-aew tells him they said he was “too girly” and how he couldn’t change his personality to be what they wanted :((( pls. i just want to hug him so bad. teh’s “i like you the way you are now” and reassurance that so many other people do too  😭i know he kind of makes a mess of himself later on, but i’m still so glad that oh-aew got to hear that from him at least.

this show is the best at making you feel all that nervousness and anxiety when any of the characters are about to drop some big news. i was waiting with bated breath when oh-aew told teh he wanted to transfer majors. it makes me sad though that oh-aew has to constantly feel like he’s walking on eggshells when it comes to teh...he’s always most worried about teh’s reaction, and that’s prob the main reason why he didn’t opt out of comm arts even earlier. but oh-aew has all these mounting doubts about his major, and there’s only so long he can stick it out for teh’s sake, and the casting call (and khim’s words) really solidified that for him.

teh’s "you haven’t given it your all”/”you haven’t done your best” rubs me the wrong way bc it’s easy to think that way when you’re set on something and know that that’s what you want to do...but when you’re doubting/not sure about something, it just isn’t the same thing. we all have different thresholds when it comes to what we can endure and how much we can put into something. teh’s a hard worker, we’ve seen how dedicated he can be when he really wants something, but not everyone works like this. not everyone can be a teh or a khim. and esp not when they’re having to give their all to something that doesn’t feel right for them. and oh-aew’s right...sometimes once is enough to know that something’s not a fit for you.

when oh-aew mentions that he sat in on advertising class and thinks he might be into it, it’s like a parallel of that scene when they’re kids and oh-aew told teh that he wanted to become an actor like him. only now it’s the opposite. teh’s had this plan in his head that he and oh-aew are going to reach their dream of becoming actors and the lead protagonists in a movie/series together for so long now that it’s hard for him to reconcile that oh-aew might no longer want this as much as he does anymore. it’s like he can see this ultimate goal of his crumbling. so just hearing that it’s bc of q and the rest of the gang’s ‘influence’ that oh-aew sat in on their advertising class in the first place (and this triggered his interest in advertising) is like strike two for teh vs. oh-aew’s friends.

i’ve def mentioned this before, but oh-aew has always been the more pragmatic of the two, whilst teh is more idealistic, so i understand why he would gravitate towards something that was more stable of a career for him. more of a guarantee. he knows that advertising/marketing suits him better (not to mention that he’s always had the resort as his safety to fall back on too), and it’s something that he’s discovering he actually enjoys more in general too.

when i first watched this, i was like “oh wow teh’s matured so much!!” bc he didn’t blow up at oh-aew during this scene...that kind of ended up backfiring on me towards the end, but at the same time, i do think there’s a certain level of growth there since he does end up trying to reassure oh-aew (even if the blow up still occurs later on). it’s a process though...and even baby steps are progress.

8 months later and teh’s walking past that same place he and oh-aew walked by during his first night in bangkok...only now the poster is no longer the same red one. it’s blue... as though it’s signifying that this is just teh’s dream alone now, and teh clearly still hasn’t come to terms with that yet.

i’m really happy seeing oh-aew in a much better place now!! it’s so good to see him happy and actually involved in uni with his friends. but watching teh struggle going through casting calls and rejections makes my heart ache. hearing khim’s experience with auditions, and actually having to experience it irl, are two entirely different things. it’s like the reality of the situation is starting to hit in for teh. and that, on top of oh-aew not being there to support him in the same way bc their goals in life aren’t similarly aligned anymore, is starting to take its toll.

god, when teh lined oh-aew and was waiting for his response i was like nooooo don’t do it DON’T DO IT only for him to open ig to check oh-aew’s story 😭(though it IS cute that they have couple pfps). but we’re regressing. and now that they have different social circles it’s even harder to connect than before. teh feels like oh-aew’s being pulled away from him, into another friend group that doesn’t include him...and his insecurities are bubbling to the surface again. teh’s always needed that reassurance that he’s ‘special’ to oh-aew. clearly, we know that he is...but even now that they’re dating, it’s still something that he questions. and esp now that oh-aew is starting to feel like he’s fading further and further away out of reach.

i love seeing all of teh’s friends encourage him. they all understand how tough it is, and to see them all pull together to lift his spirits again is so lovely. but then his mood completely changes again when oh-aew comes to join them for dinner :( teh’s doing that thing again where he says everything’s fine when everything’s not fine (cue that “they ask you how you are and you just have to say you’re fine when you’re not really fine” meme). the flash to teh’s face when top says that he didn’t pass the exam to get into anantasart, and you know he’s just thinking about how he gave up his spot for oh-aew initially, and now that oh-aew’s transferred, it’s kind of like he’s turned it down twice. oof.

when teh tells them all that oh-aew’s transferred to advertising, it’s as though this is his way of trying to separate both his worlds. like oh-aew doesn’t belong here with his drama club friends, and it’s that pettiness that we got from teh in itsay is back in full force all over again. it reminds me so much of that time oh-aew told the itsay gang that he was a virgin, and so teh told his friends at school that he was a virgin too. or when oh-aew sent him that picture of his and bas’ legs touching, so teh retaliated by putting that pic of tarn on his story and leaning in to kiss her. it’s like he always needs to one up oh-aew. he doesn’t want oh-aew to feel the same bond with his drama club friends that teh has (esp when he sees that oh-aew is so close to his uni friends). where oh-aew was anxious about teh and his uni friends not getting on, teh is anxious that oh-aew and his drama club friends will get on too well so he has to create this distinction between them. kind of like his petty attempt to be all “i have my own friends too!!”, but it’s also combined with that feeling of inadequacy that he might not fit into oh-aew’s life anymore. he might not be ‘special’. idk if that makes sense but basically i think that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things during this scene.

when he starts attacking oh-aew at dinner...that was really hard to watch. you ever feel like you want to reach through the screen and just put your hand over someone’s mouth so they stop talking?? it was rough :/ it’s one thing to fight when it’s just the two of you alone, but it’s another thing to tear your partner down right in front of your friends. i understand teh’s feelings (and i know that they’ve been building up over this time), but my frustration was through the ROOF during this. it’s on brand for him, but still. and then poor khim :( i know oh-aew didn’t mean it in that way but the awkwardness of this entire dinner was just overwhelming.

another thing that’s sad about what teh said about oh-aew is that this is a huge sore spot for oh-aew, and it’s always been one of his biggest insecurities. the reason they stopped being friends when they were kids was bc teh said that he was going to quit eventually, so for teh to talk about how “shilly shally and indecisive” he is/how easily he ‘quits’ at things is a low blow when he already knows how much those words hurt oh-aew.

teh has a habit of jumping to conclusions based on oh-aew’s social media posts instead of actually talking things out with oh-aew so naturally it would make an appearance again here as well. and calling oh-aew’s friends “shitty” bc they’re different to him (aren’t as driven as teh and his drama club gang...therefore a bad influence on oh-aew) makes it really evident that teh still has a lot to learn. he really needs to start taking those acting class lessons to heart so he can see that not everyone is the same, and that other peoples’ experiences and perspectives are valid too.

teh’s long pause and “maybe” to oh-aew’s “and if this is what i really am, you’re not gonna like me anymore, are you?” BIG SIGH. it’s so typical of teh. i know he’s honest to a fault, but he REALLY needs to learn to think before he speaks sometimes bc he always ends up regretting it. i love that impulsivity of his, but it’s also one of the most frustrating things about him.

one thing that i find kind of annoying with the time skip is that we miss so much of teh’s festering feelings that it’s a bit harder to empathise with him when he has his eventual blow up?? i think if we were seeing this more consistently, it would be much easier for us to understand things from his pov better. like if we could slowly see this building up more and more as time went on, rather than just time skipping the 8 months until the blow up.

anyway, now khim and top are graduating ;;; i really hope that we’ll still get to see more of them in the next eps. i also love how the people in teh’s life are always so concerned for him (and how oh-aew’s doing). the message behind the book teh gets for khim’s graduation present is really sweet.

when khim first tells them that she’s going to be a flight attendant and teh blows up, i felt really angry at him initially. but upon reflection and rewatching this ep again...i think i understand where he’s coming from a lot better now. obv i still think he was out of line bc of course what khim’s saying makes sense...she can’t keep going to casting calls and scraping by with minor roles when she has to support herself and her family. in the end, we all need money to survive, and sometimes we have to be realistic about it. i really loved what she said about how we can have multiple dreams at once. but yeah, my heart really went out for her so much here :( it might be difficult for teh to see (or accept) rn, but he’s a lot more privileged than he realises. he still has hoon and his mother to support him financially, but not everyone is in the same position. not everyone gets to be as lucky.

regardless, i still understand why teh gets as torn up about it as he does. khim is someone that he’s looked up to and respected SO much...and his own doubts and insecurities have been steadily increasing. first, oh-aew changes majors, then, he keeps getting rejected at auditions, and now, the senior that he respects the most bc of her hard work and determination, is giving up her dream (at least in his eyes) to become a flight attendant. it’s like the world keeps telling him to give up bc it’s not going to work out for him. and he’s invested EVERYTHING into this dream. it’s all or nothing for him. but it’s like everyone else is slipping away, and it’s getting harder and harder to hold onto.

when teh looks at the tie and is reminded of oh-aew always being there to put it on for him :(((((((( ngl i was hoping that teh would be the first one to approach oh-aew (since their fight was bc of him), but i’m glad he apologised at least. and that they had a good talk about their feelings. but then again, this reflection after their fights is what they’ve always been fairly good at. teh just has to learn to stop internalising things so much that he ends up exploding so they don’t get to this point in the first place. so much has flipped from the first ep where oh-aew was the one feeling lonely and out of place. now it’s teh’s turn to feel all alone as he sees everyone’s dreams and goals (but his) start to change. like everyone is moving on and learning to adjust while he’s being left behind.

when they’re promising each other that their love for one another will never change, it just makes me feel so SAD. seeing them in the moonlight like this compared to the first ep when they were on the beach in phuket and teh was so hopeful and oh-aew was so worried :( everything’s already changed so much. making this promise under the moon like this reminds me of how bkpp kept talking about how the ‘ipytm’ title itself means an impossible promise...the two of them hugging in the moonlight as the score plays just feels so painfully bittersweet somehow ;;; my heart is aching, and i want the next ep, but i can’t deny that my anxiety is slowly building.

anyway, i know the end of this sounds so negative but i’m still banking on our teh/oh-aew endgame!!!!!!! it just needs to get worse to get better, and there’s still so much space for them to grow and learn. so many more experiences in store for them.

[travoltacustom]

HypMic School Headcanons Part 2: MTC, MTR & DH

I genuinely enjoyed this ask! Anyways, this is being split between MTC, MTR and DH with BB, FP and BAT in the previous post. Thank you for your patience!

Read under the cut for MTC, MTR and DH

ー　MAD TRIGGER CREW　ー

Samatoki

Favourite Subject: Social Studies - History

Disliked Subject: Maths

Grade: Middle C

Club: Baseball Club

He was genuinely good at baseball, and enjoyed it. However, with his homelife, it meant that he had to skip practice a lot. Nobody knew of his circumstances so they just figured it was a shame that someone who could’ve been a star never ‘put in the effort’.

High school was rough. In between his home life and getting into fights at school, Samatoki didn’t have much going for him. He was bright, but his exams would let him down when the things he had had little time to study for would appear. If he’d had the support at school, maybe he would’ve been someone people actually acknowledged.

Jyuto

Favourite Subject: English

Disliked Subject: Social Studies - Geography

Grade: High A

Club: Student Council. Vice president

A generally dislikeable kid once you got to know him. He was a kiss up to the teachers, but not so bad as to rat someone out on homework. He was a ‘too good for his own good’ kind of person - Jyuto was an annoying know-it-all that hung out with his kind.

He had the general ideas of ‘do well now and get into uni’, but nothing beyond that. Once he hit his final year of high school, Jyuto became severely aware that there was more to life than school and genuinely struggled getting through exams despite how good he was for the entirety of his academic life.

Rio

Favourite Subject: Home Economics

Disliked Subject: English

Grade: High B / Low A

Club: ‘Wilderness Survival Club’

Rio was good at English since it was spoken at home. The class was boring as hell for him because most of the words were just things that he KNEW nobody would use. ‘When do we need to know someone’s favourite animal? We just need to know how to order food, right?’

This kid founded the school’s wilderness club. It was dedicated to wildlife preservation, gardening and anything outdoorsy. Though there were only a few members, they managed to hang with each other even during school holidays.

ー　MATENRO　ー

Jakurai

Favourite Subject: Science - Biology

Disliked Subject: Art

Grade: High A+

Club: Jazz band. Played the piano.

Jakurai does not know how to revise. Things always came to him naturally so he’d only look at material a few times before he knew how to do something. When things got hard, he would be frozen with frustration because he didn’t know how to deal with roadblocks.

This is why art was the worst class for him. He can’t draw, let alone paint. Of course, Jakurai can talk about how beautiful a work is, but if you asked him to draw something, he would politely decline. His art books are the only books ‘missing’ from highschool.

Hifumi

Favourite Subject: Social Studies - History

Disliked Subject: Maths

Grade: Low B

Club: Volunteering. He went to multiple clubs but never stayed in them.

Hifumi’s interests would switch every other week. He ended up volunteering instead because it meant he could meet way more people. However, the club he might’ve stayed in if he had the attention span would be the film club cause he likes talking about them.

He’s always had a magnetism to him. Not exactly the popular kid, but definitely not someone under the radar. Hifumi is friends with everyone, but never invited to parties unless they were REALLY friends. 

Doppo

Favourite Subject: Maths

Disliked Subject: Japanese

Grade: Low A

Club: Student council. Treasurer.

He’s always been good at organising and handling money. Not someone who spoke up too much but would get the job done, Doppo was a valued member of the student council. He didn’t make any decisions, but people appreciated how he would always tie their plans together. He was brought here against his will.

Doppo was definitely known around school. He’s always been a little too reliable and people would often ask for favours. However, nobody would take advantage of him because the people around him would stick up for him if he wasn’t able to vocalise a protest.

ー　DOTSUITARE HOMPO　ー

Sasara

Favourite Subject: Literature

Disliked Subject: Maths

Grade: Low B

Club: Comedy Club

He SUCKS with numbers. Sasara freaks out at the thought of algebra, so don’t you dare ask him how much something costs. He only managed to pass because all of his friends banded together to beat the Maths into his head. As soon as exams were over, he forget what numbers were.

No, Sasara was not the ‘funny guy’ in class. Sasara could never call out rude things in the middle of class. He was just the funny guy in people’s friendship groups. He was definitely a social butterfly, but this also meant he didn’t have a solid group of his own.

Rosho

Favourite Subject: Maths

Disliked Subject: Drama

Grade: Middle A+

Club: Student council. Treasurer

Drama class was HELL. Of course he could analyse set texts, but it was almost impossible to gauge an audience reaction! Grades were everything to Rosho at the time, so being in a class like drama meant that he couldn’t guarantee top marks no matter how hard he tried.

Being in the student council was a decision enforced by his mother. It was a role where he wouldn’t do too much but was still seen as important. Out of all things in highschool, it is the experience that Rosho remembers the least.

Rei

Favourite Subject: Science - Biology

Disliked Subject: 

Grade: High A / Low A+

Club: Student Council

This entire student council was a bunch of scammers. Their biggest plot was putting vending machines around the school, but they’d pocket all the money from the vending machine in the busiest place. The rest of the money went to the school, but because everything was so well thought out, they never got caught.

He was effortlessly smart. Rei barely revised and only attended study sessions to hang out with people - namely a girl. They were on the same level so they swore that it was only worth studying with each other... and they were lucky that they got more than staying in contact after highschool.

[chaoticvampirejedi]

Recently I saw many posts explaining why the Bad Batch can't save Crosshair. At least not right away.

And since I relate to Wrecker when it comes to making my own opinions...

Well... They got a point.

However, I think that at least for me it's much more complicated.

So I decided to write down my currents thoughts on this and why I'm so salty about it.

Because it's not just "The Bad Batch is bad because they left Crosshair"

(Wow. It sounds so serious. More seriously than any of my essays I've written this year. I feel really sorry for my uni)

Anyway.

Honestly, I always knew Crosshair wouldn't be saved in the first few episodes. These kinds of things (unfortunately) are usually left for the season finale.

And yes. Saving him would be challenging. No doubt about that.

You see, I'm not mad that he's not saved yet.

I'm mad that they even didn't think about it.

I mean... They should at least discussed it, right?

Can you imagine a situation where you find out that it's possible to save your brother, but you don't even think about it?

Like, not at all?

Seriously, all I needed was a scene or two.

TBB is known for taking risks and having unconventional ideas and yet no one even thought about taking the risk and saving him?

I don't believe the reaction of all of them would be, "Yes. It's dangerous. Let's not even consider it."

I'd just like to be shown that they want to do something, but they can't.

And this is even weirder, if we think about the first and third episodes.

They weren't going to leave him in Kamino, although he was acting very strangely and constantly arguing with Hunter.

Wrecker said he missed him, even though he was shot by him.

Hunter was mad at himself because he left him behind.

But suddenly a few episodes later, they act like they don't care.

Crosshair? Who? Yeah, we don't know guy.

Can you see my problem?

And what irritates me, even more, is that they antagonize him. Why? How? What's the point?

I can understand that it could be a way of dealing with emotions for some of them.  But why do all of them seem to think that way?

And honestly, I'm not sure whether I'm mad at characters or writers.

Because if at the end of the season someone, for example, Crosshair, will remind them of this stupid behavior, I can assume it was the writers' intended action.  That it had some storytelling purpose.

However, it's also possible that Bad Batch's behavior is a matter of problem with storytelling and that writers didn't want to show that the rest don't care about Crosshair. It's just... happened.

But I think we'll find out about that in two weeks.

So don't think that I'm mad and mean to Hunter only because Crosshair isn't saved yet. (But he will be. I know it. Don't argue with me about it. I was crying way too much because of Star Wars this week anyway)

I didn't expect them to storm Kamino in the second episode. I know they need money. I know they need time. I know that situation isn't perfect.

I'm mad that they keep ignoring him and act as if he voluntarily joined the Empire.

[enthusiasticharry]

Hi, I hope you're doing well. Would you mind writing a one shot where Harry and the missus are roomies and she wakes him up in the middle of the night because she feels sick and he has to take care of her? I thinks that's too cute and fluffy. Thanks.

Playing Doctor

summary: you wake up feeling sick in the night and who better to help than your roommate, Harry. 

word count: a 2.3k word blurb of cuteness, I ain’t gonna lie. also proofread but I did write this in one sitting so I don't think it'll be too bad. 

Once you moved away from home, you never realised how much you needed your parents. Maybe not even your parents, just someone who you could rely on. 

For your first year of Uni you lived in a flat with quite a few people. All together there were around eight people in your flat. Of course like anytime a group of people were thrown together, there were people you got on better with than others. 

Harry was one of them. 

You were nervous when your first moved in to the flat. If someone were to ask you then, you probably would’ve said you were more excited than nervous to move out and be on your own, but your were nervous. You didn’t know anyone, it was a completely new place and you were basically throwing yourself in the deep end. 

Harry was the first person you met. He was making noodles in the kitchen when you pushed through the door with your bags in tow. He immediately dropped what he was doing to help you, grabbing some of the bags that you were struggling to carry. He introduced himself, and you did the same and thinking back, you can’t imagine your life any more without him. 

He quickly became your best friend. You bonded over your love for literature and roast dinners. It became your routine very early on in your friendship that when the two of you were paid, or you had a little extra money, or the two of you just needed a little pick me up you’d go for a roast dinner. 

It wasn’t a surprise to anybody when during your second year you decided to move in together. Some people found it odd that the two of you were going to be living with each other but weren’t together, but the two of you didn’t care. You honestly just couldn’t wait until you lived with each other and could ramp up your roasts from whenever you can afford them, to making them yourselves because you have your own kitchen to do so. 

Once your second year started, and you settled in, you couldn’t imagine not living with Harry or spending your days together. You had settled into a lovely routine. Whoever woke up and was ready first, usually Harry because he usually worked out in the morning rather than at night, made breakfast and made the morning drinks. 

Harry was the best friend you’d ever had, and you seriously couldn’t have asked for a better friend in life. 

Harry was an all around well rounded roommate also. He kept the flat clean and tidy, always put the toilet seat down and didn’t leave socks around like you knew men usually did. Even when he brought people home, he always let you know for if you wanted to leave. You were usually asleep when he brought people home anyway, and he made sure to respect you with how loud he was and if you were awake, you usually put your headphones in. 

You started to hope that when you did find your person, they were like Harry. He treat women so lovely, and was so respectful to people that you couldn’t even imagine what life is like with someone who isn’t. 

During your friendship, you have also had your fair share of hook-ups but due to embarrassment on your part you’ve managed to do them when you know that Harry isn’t in, and there isn’t the chance for him to come home at any point. You had spoken about it, and it didn’t happen frequently with him or you but you just didn’t like the idea of it. 

You had been living with Harry for around four months now, and you have loved every second. 

It was now the start of December, and Christmas was creeping around the corner. Days are shorter, the air is cooler and Christmas was everywhere you turned. Due to the fact that you would still be paying rent over the Christmas break you both decided to stay in the flat for as long as you could and just go home a few days before. 

The first weekend in December, the flat you lived in during your first year decided that you would all reconnect and go to the Christmas Market and a pub for a few drinks. You were unsure what had happened when you were picking your outfit that morning, because you hadn’t put any tights on with your skirt and you were freezing. 

You had spent the majority of the day outside and a little bit of the evening before you all made your way to the pub, and even when you made your way home tucked under Harry’s arm you were shivering. You were normally prepared for the cold whether, and you were unsure whether you just completely forgot or you were distracted. 

You had woken up the next day with a shiver and a headache but you had just assumed that it was because you were out drinking late and had a wee bit of a hangover. You had done any work you had needed to do curled up on the sofa with a blanket around you. Harry had gone out to do some Christmas shopping and when he returned home later that evening you were asleep on the sofa. He had woken you up lightly and you had gone to bed straight away. 

You usually went to bed early, but Harry had never know you fall asleep on the sofa before. He was worried about you, he wasn’t going to lie. 

In the middle of the night you had taken a turn for the worst. You had woken up and checked your phone to see that it was two in the morning but that wasn’t the only thing that held your attention. Your sinuses felt as though though they had grown twice in side, your nose was clogged and your throat felt ever so scratchy. 

It had been a while since you had felt this sick, and you certainly hadn’t felt this sick since the time you came home from school when you were sixteen and you physically couldn’t get out of bed because of how sick you were. 

You were so warm, sweating so much that it was physically dripping down you’re forehead. You threw the covers off your body with a huff, and after a few seconds of psyching yourself up to do so, you managed to push yourself up and trudge your way towards the bathroom. 

Opening the cabinet, you mentally cursed your past self for not nipping to the supermarket and picking up some more medication. You had nothing in the house, and you were in no fit state to go now, so you closed the cabinet door and made your way down the hallway towards Harry’s room. 

The door was closed, and the second your fingertips touched the cool metal of the handle you immediately felt guilty. He was laid upon his tummy, his bottom half covered by the blanket but one of his legs sticking out from beneath it. You could hear the small snores that escaped his lips and you really didn’t want to wake him up but you knew you had to. 

“H?” Your voice is quiet and scratchy, but once you cough to clear it, it’s louder, “Harry?” 

He jumps up, his head turning quickly towards your body. His heart almost burst at the sight of you. You were dressed in some plaid pyjama pants and one of Harry’s hoodies that you had stolen when you moved in. He didn’t mind you taking his clothes, since it meant you were comfortable and cosy. Your hair sat in a messy bun upon your head, one of your trouser legs was bunched up from your flailing within bed. 

“You okay, love?” He groaned and flipped around so that he was sat up and looking straight ahead at you, “What time is it?” 

“Its around one.” You cough into your elbow, “I don’t feel good.” 

“You don’t sound it, lovely.” He pulls back the duvet and you walk towards him, dropping down on the bed next to him. You place your head on the pillow next to his and look at him, sniffling sightly, “Have you had any meds?” 

“There isn’t any in the cupboards.” You sigh, sighing contently as Harry drops the duvet cover over your shoulders. 

He nods, “I’ll nip now to the Tesco’s. Do you want anything else?” 

“Can you check to see if we’ve got any honey?” 

“Of course.” He carefully slips out from beside you in the bed and makes his way towards his wardrobe to pull out of a hoodie. You watch as he pulls the hoodie over his body. 

“I’m sorry H.” You sigh, sniffling slightly, “I didn’t want to wake you up.” 

“No, don’t apologise.” He shakes his head, “I want you to wake me up when you’re feeling like this. I’ll be back soon, the Tesco’s isn’t too far away.” 

“Okay.” 

He wasn’t too long, but in the time that it had taken him, you had fallen back asleep surrounded by Harry’s scent and covered in his plush duvets and pillows. He had picked up an array of different medications, some pain, some cough meds and strips. He had also picked up some honey that you’d requested and some lemons. He picked up some soup for you tomorrow and some of your favourite chocolate so that you had something nice when you start to feel better. 

All in all, running to the the 24 hour Tesco’s at one was a successful, yet tired and sleepy trip. 

When he returned home, seeing as though it had just turned two in the morning, he only brought you a glass of water and some meds. 

Something twisted inside his stomach at the sight of you curled up in his bed, duvet up to your neck and small, deep breaths escaping your lips. Until this point you had never made him feel this way before, as though butterflies were erupting in the pit of his stomach and he yearned to feel your skin against his. He just wanted to wrap his arms around you and nurse you back to health. 

“YN.” He sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed, pushing some of your hair that had fallen onto your face, “Wake up, love, I’m back.” 

Your face crinkled up for a few seconds before your eyes fluttered open, falling upon a very tired yet smiling Harry. He passed you the glass of water and placed the small pills into your hand.

“Thank you.” You croaked, placing the medication on the tip of your tongue and washing them down with the water, “I’m sorry I fell asleep.” 

“Don’t be.” He shakes his head, taking the water off of you and placing it on the bedside cabinet beside you, “Go back to sleep, I’ll sleep on the sofa don’t.” 

“Don’t.” You shook your head, “Can you stay with me?” 

“Of course.” He smiled, pulling his hoodie off of his body and dropping it to the ground, slipping next to you into bed, “Turn around, love.” 

You do as he says and you turn around, moving so that your back is placed against his chest, finding comfort immediately in the heat that his body gave to her. You felt horrible and Harry felt helpless, as though he could buy you medication and cuddle you to death but he couldn’t take away the pain you were feeling. 

He placed his hand upon the exposed skin of you stomach, due to his hoodie bunching underneath your breasts. It was quite an intimate moment between the of you, and he hoped that he hadn’t overstepped a boundary. The way you sighed contently and buried your way deeper into his chest suggested to him that he hadn’t. 

He had never been this way with you before, and even though it could just be because you’re ill, the lingering touches suggested otherwise. As friends you were shy to a hug or two on the sofa, and you both enjoyed a cuddle and a film every once in a while but you had never shared a bed. 

You hoped you hadn’t overstepped his boundaries by offering, but the way he jumped in suggested that you hadn’t. 

That night, the next day and the few days that followed Harry never left your side. He catered after everything you wanted and nursed you back to health. After three nights of sleeping in Harry’s bed, by his side and engulfed by his warmth you returned back to your own. It was odd sleeping in your bed on your own again, it felt cold and lonely.

Harry felt exactly the same across the hall, unable to hide the fact that he missed your closeness. Nobody had ever made him feel this way before but he liked it. He was intrigued by the way you made him feel, and he wanted nothing more than to find out whether you felt the same.

It wouldn’t be long until you were back in the same, though. Less than a week later Harry woke up with a sniffle, and in payment, you were the one to nurse him back to health. 

Neither the two of you knew what this change in your dynamic meant, but you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t curious to find out.