#i don’t mean you’re all the same
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The Stand By Me anon and The SatanLord anon are not the same person. I would NEVER want any backstory for an abuser. Sorry if there was any confusion.
Oh, I didn’t think Ozai & Iroh au anon was Stand By Me anon!
Btw, I’m putting Stand By Me on my read/watchlist in honor of you, SBM anon (though that doesn’t really mean anything because it’s a mental list and I do an awful job at retaining books/shows/movies on the list, but the intention is there).
#the one thing most of my anons have in common is making me realize how small my world is#you guys come here ask my opinion about podcasts and books and potential crossovers between certain media or interesting fan theories#and I’m like…. i know nothing about this#i don’t mean you’re all the same#as SBM anon clearly mentioned they are indifferent to Ozai backstories whereas other anons are very interested in it#what I mean is#you all have compelling ideas and i just don’t know how to respond to them half the time because i’m an idiot (affectionate)#i learn so much thanks to you#and I wish I could be more interesting#and provide more insightful thoughts#but I also love that you come back despite all of this
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(ASOS, Sansa II)
(ASOS, Jon XII)
#jonsa#jon x sansa#sansa stark#jon snow#don’t tell me they mean nothing to each other when they have such glaring parallels#it’s the way no one else in the series has this exact dream to restore Winterfell and have a little starkling family#in the same book mind you !!#the way Robb is the missing piece to Sansa’s fantasy <33#and Jon and Sansa don’t mention each other because they’ll be parents#oh the feelings I have#sometimes there was even a girl who looked like arya#and arya is known to resemble Jon really closely#implying that Sansa wants to marry someone of the north with stark features#which makes so much sense for her character arc to BE with someone born and raised in the north#not another random lord to exploit her claim and power#see this is why I wrote a 40 paged meta analysis and compiled it into a PowerPoint#and then presented it to my mother thus converting her into a Jonsa truther#WITHOUT OBJECTION#on a side note I find it so interesting when you talk to someone who’s neutral on ships and is willing to listen to whatever theory#as objectively possible#because as soon as I pointed all the evidence out to my mum she was like woahhh you’re smart analysis and you’re so correct
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Understanding in 1x02 vs 4x03:
*deep breath*
Early on, this is what Shiv sees:
This is what she doesn’t see:
Kendall is cornered into talking about the business. Wordlessly, gently threatened into it when he said he didn’t want to right now. Gerri and Karl aren't in mourning. They are doing their jobs, and they’re testing him to see if he can do his. If he said no and walked away, the company would be taken out of family control, Logan would be furious, and he'd lose out on his dream forever.
Shiv sees none of that happen, and Kendall doesn't even tell her about it- maybe because he thinks she wouldn't listen, maybe because she said she thinks he’s weak already, or maybe because he just almost never defends himself in general. But she can’t see his perspective without knowing what happened.
The lack of understanding between them results in this disaster:
She thinks he’s being cold by talking to the nominating committee, but we see how he really feels. He just always turns to reason and order in times of crisis and she doesn’t really know that.
He has not forgotten this conversation or Shiv’s perception of him here. He doesn’t want that:
Shiv’s been inside Waystar now. She knows now that talking business for a minute during a dark time doesn’t mean you don’t care. In fact, she did it while Kendall was confessing his worst moment, but it didn’t mean she loves him less. She knows him better now and has seen that he’s anything but emotionless. No one criticizes him for turning to reason and order this time. They ask for it.
No matter what happens, he won’t forget this nice conversation either. He won’t forget that his siblings finally see him the way he’s always hoped they would: as the big brother who can make hard decisions in seemingly impossible moments. He’s the one who can shepherd them through it. There’s trust there now and they finally know how it feels. The door will be open for togetherness now, even if it looks like it might close for a while. It’s not that they changed as people, it’s that they’ve learned how to read each other.
Not seeing each other’s perspectives led to having to be alone:
Now, it seems, even though they will struggle for a while, they have an understanding.
🤍
#us 🥹#really what he’s wanted from the very beginning#Jesse can talk all he wants about not believing in growth but it’s all over this episode#I mean#they are the same people#but now they get each other#doesn’t mean there won’t be backslides but they will remember how much better they feel together#as we’ve seen with ‘I don’t know if me and you come back from that’ they do always come back together#there are so many parallels between these episodes my brain had sparks going the whole time#they are all happier like this and they won’t forget that#I have always been obsessed with 1x02#the way Karl says you’re in no fit state gives me goosebumps#yeesh#succession parallels#kendall roy#succession#succession season 4#roman roy#I wonder how much money I’d have if I cared about my side jobs as much as I care about this#shiv roy#shit show at the fuck factory#Connor’s wedding#succession spoilers
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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still very much of the opinion that more people would appreciate pavel if they were able to look past the narrator's bias. the question of the narrator’s exact identity, ephemeral and shifting as it is, warrants consideration here as well.
#i made a tongue in cheek post about the narrator question in demons as well but#whether it’s dostoevsky himself (the whole time? perhaps only some of the time?)#or some amalgamation of the town itself#or some secret third thing in the vein of bakhtin’s uncontrollable characters theory#for all that the narrator loves alyosha they do not extend that same affection to pavel#(also interesting to consider how much of himself and his son he put into these two characters)#i suppose i’m separating narrator and narrative in my mind though bc i don’t believe you’re meant to#leave the story despising pavel. if anything i feel like it’s natural to feel the compassion for him that no one in the story could#i mean readers evidently feel it for ivan so why not his double?#the brothers karamazov#📘.txt#lit tag
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I know I have a habit of always keeping things to myself… But why am I still surprised when people don’t know what I know?
#This applies to so many things in my life#this is so incredibly unhealthy#toxic even#yet i can’t help but keep doing it#and now my friends too#those who said the loudest ‘you have to talk to us if we did something you’re not comfortable with so we can come to terms’#turned out to be bottling the hugest amount of distraught then explode without warning#now everything is in pieces#and there’s nothing that could be mended anymore#thought we had something special you know#then why… why can you sabotage everything so quick and run away so fast#why you do this to us?#what were we to you?#You hurt us all and even yourself with your ego saying we don’t have to care about you#but what were we if not friends?#why?#please I can’t continue like this#I desperately aware that things will never be the same and I can never see you as the same friend I’ve known for years#but I still refuse to believe this is really happening#it’s like sand#the more I hold it the harder I clenched my hand they would still eventually fall through my fingers gaps#are we not friends?#why? Why you did it?#You said nothing and yet expect everyone to know how you feel and to sympathize with you and your reasons#I mean we could#we totally could if you just let us know just the tiniest hint you know?#so why things turned out this way?#where has the years gone?#will I ever stop grieving the past if things keep turning out like this?#what does the future hold anyway and where’s my motivation to grasp it?
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dumb stupid cocky annoying idiot who makes me indescribably happy if i look at him for too long
#84#rant for no reason this just got me thinking#i like to think before the s1 finale their rivalry was just obsession with eachother but they didn’t know or think to question Why#cuz like they were kids. when you’re a kid you don’t really usually think about that. but then in the finale when they realised how much-#-they actually mean to eachother it all just hit them at once and they both realised OH SHIT IM IN LOVE!!!!#and from then on they were just. see picture#and they tried to keep the same old classic rivalry but it felt so different and tense compared to how natural and thoughtless it was befor#and that’s where we’re at now. because bfdi does not have actual romantic relationships. and i like it that way. heart ❤️#battle for dream island#bfdi#bfb#tpot#coiny#firey#fireoiny#odieart
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i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives
#sorry not to get on this bullshit i just saw a related post when i opened this app lmao#and by some people i don’t mean anyone in particular im not vagueing anyone or any specific post#and i especially don’t mean any transfem calling out transmisogynistic transmascs either#but yeah i see a lot of implication that trans men are like. somehow significantly privileged over cis women#and ofc i don’t mean that transmascs are incapable of being misogynistic to cis women bc that’s far from the case#but i need someone to name a transmasc with significant political or social or financial power that’s working to set back women’s rights#versus the amount of cis women with any of the aforementioned privileges working to take away the rights of trans people#bc i can think of 4 of the latter just off the top of my head without trying really hard#and the only day to day instance i can think of where trans men would hold significant power over a cis woman is like..#a workplace environment where he completely passes as cis and absolutely no one knows he’s trans at all or even suspects it#but then again most if not all of that privilege would be stripped away the second anyone there found out he was trans#but yeah i really do think some people need to grapple with how they conceptualize gendered privilege and their own power in these dynamics#and how that’s reflected in the way they think about/interact with transmascs#are you disgusted with this random transmasc on tumblr because he’s a man (or vaguely adjacent) or because he’s trans. ykwim#and again i hate the whole transandrophobia thing i think it’s stupid as shit and redundant to put it lightly and briefly but#idk why transmascs that believe in it have become the new face of anti-feminism and MRA movements#and not like. the cis men who started both of those things and contribute to the vast majority of that type of rhetoric in every way#and also hold enough power to leverage those beliefs over both women and also transmascs tbh#i think some people are just repulsed by the idea of anyone willingly wanting to be a man bc they see it as the same as becoming a cis man#in terms of privilege. when in reality by being trans you’re knocked down in terms of power and privilege from all cis people anyways#but also. some people also need to realize that transmascs can also have trauma and complicated feelings about being a man and patriarchy#and more often than not we ARE traumatized by the way cis men (and women!!) have treated us#and grapple with our place in the world as a result. it’s not just as simple as becoming a cis man over night tbh!!#and again i’m not talking about transfems with any of this because the vast Vast majority of transfems understand this more than anyone#i’m mostly talking about cis women both irl and also just in the terminally online leftist sphere#and i also think i should be allowed to vent my grievances with the power cis women often do wield over me without being accused of being a#raging misogynist or MRA or whatever
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Loudest Silence
YA contemporary
a newly Deaf-Hard of hearing girl moves across the country and starts a new school, struggling with navigating her disability and love for singing and lost friendships - determined to not make any new friends for the year she’s in Florida
and a boy struggling with family expectations and anxiety, after being made the fútbal captain even though he secretly ways to be on broadway, who quickly befriends her
bi & aroace-coded MCs
#The Loudest Silence#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#hm this was okay! it’s a sweet and light YA contemporary focusing on friendship and disability.#It’s a little cheesy; and I liked the immediate easy friendship (well; after a few false starts) and how welcoming Hayden's#friend group/family were. I like how they all jumped to learning/practicing ASL.#I liked how Casey was dealing with her newfound Deafness with a lot of positivity - the main frustrations being how other people treat her#but there’s also the underlying isolation and grief. At the same time it didn't go as deep as it could have with that?#The friendship is central to the story - but honestly I feel like Casey and Hayden’s relationship doesn’t develop past ‘they’re friends now#[continues other subplots] - it ends up being a bit telling not showing their friendship. And then she gets a love interest.#I feel like if you’re centering your book on being a platonic love story - rare in YA! - giving one a love interest kinda goes against#what’s supposed to be unique about it? Like it wasn’t overwhelming and I thought it was sweet actually; I just didn’t come here for that.#I always find it a little odd when YA contemporary books don’t explicitly name their aroace characters as aroace -#obviously I prefer an exploration of experiences to just using the word and nothing else; but in this genre; why not both?#considering various other identity labels are used and discussed there were various points where it felt like it was walking circles#around where it would be obvious to say “no I’m aroace” lmao?#And there’s a point where Casey mentions seeing an ace sticker on his guitar - the only reason it wasn’t an aroace sticker is bc#that would have ruined the minor subplot of her assuming he’s gay/dating his other friend. It felt like a slightly odd way to mention it?#but also I guess I appreciate it being evident throughout but also being a non-issue plot wise - while there’s a couple of moments#of people making romantic assumptions about them;for the most part it’s just treated normally for a boy & girl to be friends (as it should!#It does get points for mentioning people watching by conan grey LMAO (not that it really explores him feeling that way specifically;#but I mean same lol)#Overall plot-wise - there were kind of a lot of things going on and it petered out a bit? I wanted some more depth in some areas.#Also I feel like some of the references seemed out of date for current teens haha.#i do love the love for unusual pets (hairless cat and iguana)#aroace books#bisexual books
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i really do not understand how you can be a cis lesbian terf or outspoken transmisogynist because how do you not realize that if the myth that trans women are predators who need to be kept out of “women’s spaces” becomes widely treated as truth, the next people that are going to be ousted from women’s spaces for “perving on innocent women” are gonna be US. are gonna be cis lesbians. how can you live a life where you’ve no doubt had at least brushes with the predatory lesbian stereotype and NOT realize you’re doing the exact same shit to trans women.
#thoughts#like. am i insane???#i was bullied back into the closet in middle school when i ID’d as bisexual#because mean girls would say i was staring at them in changing rooms. or say ‘ok but don’t hit on me’ to me#like…. you’re doing that same shit. and that stupid ‘wellll i wouldn’t date a trans person’ that i see unprompted all the time#that’s the same thing as mentioning you’re gay to a homophobic girl and getting ‘ew well don’t get a crush on me’ like be so forreal
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This was something I was thinking about a While ago but I just remembered it again. I think the reason I relate so heavily to Sans is because to me he reads as a character with depression and chronic fatigue and pain. And an accurate representation, at that. Having the lowest hp out of every monster can’t feel good, physically, I mean. He’s just running on the absolute bare minimum to keep him alive. And asides from his knowledge about the whole timeline thing, I think he’s just depressed in general from his illnesses. And he’s tired. Both physically and mentally. He jokes about not picking up The Sock, but his brother mentioning it so often probably does eat away at him. (Not saying Papyrus is at fault!)
#connor speaks#undertale#sans#This probably means nothing because I’m literally just rambling but. I don’t know. Sans is a good character who means a lot to me#Uh but. It’s like. Not only are you stuck reliving the same things over and over again with only a vague sense of Deja vu#but you’re also tired and exhausted every single time. Forever. It’s a wonder how he even gets out of bed at all. Which I think is another-#Really good part of his character people should explore more I think. His unwillingness to give up so easily
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Now that I’ve read the entirety of TGCF, here is the result of my grand research on:
“The number of times that Xie Lian did not know whether to laugh or cry”
Volume 1
Pages 79, 107, 235, 330, and 367 - 5 times
Volume 2
Pages 28, 80 (81), 206, 256, and 339 - 5/6 times
Volume 3
Pages 321, 330, and 363 - 3 times
Volume 4
pages 212, 290, 298, 311, 317, 338, and 368 - 7 times
Volume 5
Pages 27, 121, 177, 246, and 300 - 5 times
Volume 6
Pages 22, 40, 80, and 119 - 4 times
Volume 7
Pages 33, 81, 124, 134, 151, 164, 171 and 196 - 8 times
Volume 8
Pages 176, 213, 266, 285, 305 and 322 - 6 times
Which makes it a whopping average of 5 times with the Median being 5~5.5, Mode being 5/6 (depending on whether it was 5 or 6 times in volume 2), and the range of 5.
I could be missing a couple more of the instances so if I find anymore at any point in time during my re-read, I’ll come back and add it up and recalculate everything.
#was this necessary for my reading journey? absolutely not#if only I put in this much dedication to my actual school papers and such#I genuinely don’t know what this result will be useful for but you’re welcome if anyone does indeed use it for what ever reason#xie lian not knowing whether to laugh or cry is a whole ass mood honestly#i can relate so hard#it’s so funny and sad at the same time#xie lian is baby#protect xie lian#and quan yizhen#deadass protect quan yizhen#I mean like he’s a martial god and all so he doesn’t need protecting but he’s literally baby boi to me if anything happens to him I stg#tldr this was about xie lian but i derailed and started talking about quan yizhen#point is tgcf good#heaven official's blessing#tgcf brainrot has caught up to me#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#天官赐福
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I don’t have a lot of energy for discourse but um. If you follow me and you genuinely seriously agree with what @/prxship has said about paraphiles and how they’ve treated another selfshipper because of it, I really don’t want you here, that mindset is unsafe and appalling to me
#like idk if you can be friends with someone who behaves like that#and you agree that paraphiles need therapy to dissuade them from some inherent urge they have to abuse#I dont. like you. I think you’re probably a danger to me as a paraphile and radqueer and honestly just as a queer person in general#I hate to assume morality from discourse because I know at least one mutual feels panicky seeing that#but at the very least I don’t want to be around someone that thinks any attraction means someone is going to abuse the object of#that attraction#and therefore needs therapy to help their sick twisted abuser urges#I don’t think anyone needs guidance to ‘cope’ with their attraction lest they hurt people#this post essentially is to say I don’t have the energy to go through prxship’s mutuals and friends and block them all#so if you’re with them on this and you’re gonna be interacting with them further in a positive way#we are not on the same side and I’d like if you blocked me
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no girl taylor isn’t blocking you from the chart maybe your music just isn’t as good and you aren’t as popular?
#yall act like vinyls and cd sales count for so much more than streaming does#and even then taylor isn’t controlling how much people buy#WE are#WE choose to buy albums and stream them#not the artist#like you don’t get a participation award because you decided to release music at the same time as someone you KNOW is more popular than you#if you’re so easily blocked by remixes and voice memos acoustic versions of songs that are two months old..#there’s a reason SOS was able to beat out midnights guys#and taylor was happy for sza like#there was no hate there#maybe your album just wasn’t as strong as you thought it was#and i don’t mean that in a malicious way#and let me also just say#no one complains about male artists blocking other artists from charting#because women are expected to humble themselves to protect others feelings#if a few voice memos of songs that have been out for months outsell your album that’s not on taylor swift#if a voice memo or an acoustic version or a remix is really affecting the charts that much#that’s a separate issue#if it was ANY OTHER ARTIST#you would not be saying this#but because it’s taylor you feel the need to??#no one is saying you need to love taylor swift and stream all of her music and but all her albums#but can we stop with all the unnecessary hate#all i’m saying is maybe there’s a reason her music does so well just a thought#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#charli xcx#billie eilish#this happens every single time taylor releases an album#why do we always feel the need to pit successful women against each other
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every day i get more defensive abt shadow the hedgehog 2005. you just don’t understand her like i do
#not saying it’s free from criticism at all but. even tho the game isn’t the best there’s some rly valuable things to take from it#which ppl don’t even bother to try and look for n only treat the game as a joke >_<#which like. i mean it’s understandable given it’s That but i feel like if you’re a sonic fan the same jokes abt it get v tired
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I’m not entirely sure how to word this correctly cuz brain currently scrampled egg but I feel like being on the aro/ace spectrum as a transfem is incredibly frustrating when the majority of online transfem spaces are very hypersexual
Like on one hand, trans women are constantly told by society that they’re undesirable except when they’re objectified and chased, so the act of taking their sexualization into their own hands is super important and I’m legitimately glad that trans girls can find spaces online where they can be unabashedly horny in a liberating way.
On the other hand, you can’t look up “transgender” on this site without getting 80% porn bots and 20% discourse, I can’t share [animal]girl[bodypart] blogs to my ace friends without them being jumpscared by the most recent post being uncensored explicit imagery, and a big chunk of the online white anglo-centric transfem culture now is being super horny, alongside NEET-posting, blahaj, and striped socks.
Like I’m on the ace spectrum but I’m sex-positive and not bothered by the horny stuff so it doesn’t affect me too much. But I cannot imagine how alienating it must feel to be aromatic, asexual, and/or sex-repulsed as a transfem and your only other option is the sanitized, infantilized “uwu im anxious eepy baby with shark plush” meme-space. And I’m aware that HRT affects libido — ever since I started it, it’s definitely gone up, so I can’t blame people for needing an outlet.
I mean I guess that speaks to how you can never be “truly” inclusive in a space because something will always be exclusive to another person. Idk I just wish the world was safer for transfems from all walks of life, and there were more spaces for us to be proud of ourselves without it falling into “super horny”, “discourse”, or “ultra-sanitized”.
#I’ve had these thoughts for a while now#like for the past month or two I’ve kept thinking about all this stuff#partially inspired by the fact that one of my best friends is a sex repulsed ace transfem#(if you’re reading this hi i love you)#and just feeling … idk. like she deserves better I guess?#I can’t speak for how the transmasc culture is since I’m not transmasc#from what I’ve seen it appears somewhat the same?#of either ‘you’re a smol bean uwu’ or ‘you’re a hunky sexy man’ with no in between#but I won’t assume that’s how it is just from those few things I’ve seen#idk it just really seems like being aro/ace/sex repulsed means that the internet is actively hostile to you#and you can’t engage in your identity without it being discourse in some way#and yes I realize the irony of saying that on a post like this#‘20% of transgender posts are discourse’ I complain as I write up a discourse-bait post lmao#please don’t actually discourse on this post I’m just tryna get my thoughts out
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