#i don’t live in the city and i don’t go to school or church and i don’t wanna talk to my coworkers ok !!

[wybbit]

how long before bumble lets you both ID as non-binary and not limit you to pick one binary gender to be friends with, inadvertently categorizing you as that gender? bc it’s like. the only friend making app i hear about enough ppl using to be worth trying. but. the dysphoria.

[miniatureliterature]

Just realized I have 0 super close friends anymore and haven’t really since undergrad. And even in undergrad i never saw them anyway because I pushed myself to graduate early and was always super busy, so I haven’t really hung out with friends regularly and with deep conversations since high school. And wish I could just snap my fingers and fix that

[coollizzylou]

Everyone’s correct in saying that now more than ever we need to be building our communities, but it can be difficult to know what that actually *means*, especially in our isolating society. So here’s some straightforward practical advice I’ve learned over the few years I’ve been organizing in my own life.

You do not have to reinvent the wheel.

There are people who have been fighting this fight for decades. You are not starting from scratch. You do not have to do it all by yourself. All you have to do is find your allies and engage.

On the ground resistance movements/aid organizations that have legs under them may not have much of a social media presence. You may have to do some legwork find your place.

Check the local papers if you have one for your area. Sign up for your city government newsletter. Go to the library and ask what events are being hosted. Check Churches! Schools! Small businesses! Ask your local old ladies!!!! They have time on their hands and know what’s going on in their communities.

It’s ok if you don’t know anything. Listen to the people around you, ask questions, be respectful and curious. Just show up!! As you do this, you will learn more about the place you’re in and the people that live there. Those people will guide you, and there’s a non-zero chance that you’ll find a mentor willing to take you under their wing.

The logistics make the movement.

Demonstrations are important and powerful, but they are NOT the be all end all. Not even close.

There are people who’s job it is to take notes, people who host meetings, and people who pick up snacks. Some folks are especially good at getting the word out through tabling and canvasing, others are better at making the pamphlets that get handed out. You could be in charge of carrying heavy boxes of donated food, or you might be better suited preparing a hot meal sitting at the table. Are you able to watch young children? Drive carpool?

All of these tasks and more are essential to maintaining a healthy community group. Don’t be afraid to try new things and experiment to figure out where you can do the most good.

Your stories are your power

One of the most effective tools in your arsenal are your testimonies. When shared with friends they remind us we are not alone in our struggles. When shared with adversaries, they are undeniable proof of our humanity. You can quote facts and statistics all day, but a personal experience will always punch above it’s weight.

Think over your life and explore questions of what your personal stake in the game is. What about your life makes you want to fight. Really dig in deep. This can be uncomfortable. I recommend doing this among friends and being gentle with yourself. You don’t have to have any particularly special reason. This isn’t supposed to be performative. You aren’t trying to get a good grade in leftism, your goal is to identify your self interest. For example, I first got involved with the tenet union because I wanted to go to college in the city but knew I couldn’t afford to live there. I first got involved with planned parenthood because I was scared when Roe v Wade overturned. These are selfish reasons, they have to be for this to work.

With that information, you are prepared to sit with other people and ask them the same thing. If you are open and willing to listen to people’s stories, a casual conversation can lead to strong bonds of friendship. And when you’re friends with someone, you fight for them. This is the core of relational organizing.

There is joy here

Organizing can be difficult. Many things are in life. But from personal experience I can tell you that not only is this work worth it, but it can be *fun*. You can sing and dance and play music and scream and laugh and you’ll do it all together. Hold onto your hope, find your joy where you can, and take the plunge. You’ll be better for it, I promise.

[weakformingyu]

Style | Y.J.

Pairing: Jeongin x afab!reader

Summary: you always wanted to do something crazy, something different from what your family expects you to. Who would have guessed that you'd meet Yang Jeongin, the guy who has the worst reputation around town and the one who's ready to deviate you from god's path.

Words count: 7,037

THIS ONE AND ALL MY CONTENTS ARE +18, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!

Warnings: badboy!Jeongin, churchgirl!reader, exaggerated description of conservative/religious families, dirty talk, protected piv, oral(f. receiving), degradation(very little), praise(even less), biting(I think that's all, let me know if I forgot something)

A/N: inspired by TS' song Style, one of my favs.

You have been the pride and joy of your family since your birth, their perfect little daughter who is obedient and never goes against their word. You are a straight A’s student, the main singer of the church's choir, you’re never harsh and never vulgar, you're never free. That makes you mad, you have never enjoyed your life, like truly enjoyed it, you have been living for others this whole time and you’re tired of it.

“You know what?” Soyeon, your newest friend says, “we should go out”

“To go where?” You ask, confused. You two are seated together in your social studies class, she’s different from all your other friends and your parents would definitely kill you if they ever found out that you befriended someone like her. In your eyes, you know there’s nothing wrong with her but you know they would never agree with this friendship the moment they laid eyes on Soyeon.

She has tattoos all over her body and her hair is pink, she wears strong makeup and clothes that show too much skin, nothing like you. You had to beg your parents to let you wear jeans when you got into college, telling them the long dresses would make you stand out too much and at the same time that they gave you an earful because you were giving in to the sins of the world, they agreed that it wouldn’t be a good idea for their pristine daughter to get too much attention.

Your circle of friends in college is basically the same as the one you had in high school, mostly people from the church, people just like your parents, who judge others based on looks so it was shocking for you when Soyeon approached you first and it was even more shocking when you realized how much you both have in common. She also comes from a conservative family, but unlike you, she decided to rebel at a young age, she chose to be free.

“There’s a new club in the city, I think you’re going to like it”, she tells you, looking the place up on the internet to show it to you.

“I don’t think my parents would let me go”, you chuckle looking at the pictures and at the people in the pictures, you’d definitely stand out in there.

“And who's talking about asking for permission?” She giggles, watching your horrified face.

“I could never”, you shake your head frantically, anxiety growing in your chest just by thinking about it.

“Y/N, you’re always telling me how much you wanted to be brave and do something impulsive, this is your chance”, she pushes, seeing you bite on your bottom lip, wondering if it would be okay to do that just this once.

“But how am I going to explain to them the reason I’m going out at night?”

Soyeon chuckles, amused.

“Have you ever heard of lying?” She asks, sarcastically, making you blush.

“Stop”, you pout, making her laugh loudly.

“Just tell them you are going to have a sleepover with your righteous friends or whatever, I don’t think they are going to doubt you”, Soyeon suggests.

“Fine, yeah, I can do that”, you say, trying not to shiver at the simple thought of lying. You don’t think you have ever lied to your parents, too afraid of what would happen if you were caught, scared that you’d lose the little bit of freedom you have but maybe it’s worth it this time, maybe you’re going to find a whole new world.

You don’t know why Soyeon asked to meet so much earlier than the actual time of the party. Everything goes well with your parents, you never gave them reason to distrust you so they don’t even think too much of it, telling you to come back first thing in the morning for your prayers.

You go to Soyeon’s house, her parents love you, hoping that you’re going to bring their daughter back to the righteous path, little do they know that she’s the one who’s trying to deviate you from that very path.

Since she’s with you, they believe in everything she says about how you two are going to watch a movie in the theater and then she’s gonna sleep at your house. And you do go to the theater, or better, to the restroom there.

“What are we doing here?” You ask, confused, when she locks you both in the tiny space.

“What do you mean?” She seems as confused as you, looking for something in her bag and then she looks at you, realizing something and laughing. “Girl, bold of you to think I’d let you go dressed like that”, she says, staring at you up and down.

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” You ask, looking at yourself.

“Hm, there’s nothing wrong if you were really going to the theater”, she says, pulling out a few clothes out of her bag, “you’re going to a club, you need to look hot.

“Why?” You inquire again, tilting your head.

“Just because”, she loses her patience, handing you the clothes, “now put this on, I’ll do your makeup after you finish dressing.

“I don’t think this is right”, you tell her from inside the booth, opening the door to find Soyeon frowning.

“What is not right?” She asks, and you look down.

“Is this supposed to be a skirt?” You ask, pulling down the small piece of fabric that’s barely covering your ass.

“That’s how people dress, you’re the one who’s always covering yourself”, she explains, coming close to you. “Now, I’m gonna do your makeup, don’t worry, I’m going to take it easy this time”

“This time?” You murmur, making her chuckle, ignoring your question while she pulls her makeup accessories out of the bag.

You can barely recognize yourself when you look in the mirror, but strangely that doesn’t bother you. You are used to always feeling plain and boring but right in this moment, you feel interesting for the first time in your life. Soyeon really didn’t exaggerate on your makeup, she just put on some mascara on your eyes and a red lipstick on your lips. The silk tank top you’re wearing suits you best if you go braless and the skirt is still too short for your taste but anything over knee length is too short for you.

The club is crowded, you don’t think you ever went to a place so full of people and so full of life. People are laughing, kissing each other, dancing, enjoying themselves and that’s something so rare to see in your everyday life, it's delightful to you.

“Do you wanna drink something?” Soyeon asks, loud enough for you to hear.

“I think just water for now”, you tell her and she nods, your friend is not one to pressure you to do something you don’t want.

“I’m going to the bar, okay? I’ll be back in a minute”, she says, as soon as you both reach a booth.

You nod, watching as she struggles to squeeze herself in between the people dancing, you’re not sure if she’s going to be able to arrive safe and sound to the bar.

You look around, you think you know a few people from your school but you hope they don’t recognize you. However, there is a pair of eyes that catch your attention, making you stop to stare at him for a whole minute before he smirks, giving a step in your direction until you realize that he’s coming to you.

You know him, you know him so well. That’s the guy all your friends told you to stay away from, even your parents warned you about him. Yang Jeongin, the city heartthrob.

Jeongin is a known rake, he goes around causing trouble and breaking hearts and that’s something you don’t want anything to do with. Then, why can’t you move? Why does it feel like he’s pulling you like a magnet, like you can’t get up while he has his eyes on you.

You look around, trying to see if Soyeon is close by to save you from him but she’s nowhere to be seen and in an instant he arrives at your table, tilting his head and looking at you up and down. Jeongin raises a brow, watching as you fidget on your seat.

“I don’t think we have met”, he says, sitting down.

“We haven’t”, you say, drily.

“But I think you know me”, he smirks, “And I know you — I mean, the other version of you”

“Well, if you know me, you should also know that there’s nothing for you here”, you tell him, feeling nervous, a strange heat spreading around your lower belly.

He chuckles, sliding in the booth to sit right by your side, slipping his arm around your shoulder.

“Any knowledge I had about you went down the drain the moment you stepped in this party wearing this tiny piece of fabric you call a skirt”, he murmurs too closely, eyes fixed on yours, making your heart beat faster. You should definitely tell him to leave since you have the slight idea about where this is going but at the same time you don't want him to leave. God forbid anyone knows that you ever let this man touch you but you sure want him to. You can't even blame the alcohol since you didn't drink any but you can blame Soyeon for leaving you alone in a place where Jeongin is. Having him so close to you is making your head hurt, you feel your whole body turning hot, the throbbing on your upper body making you dizzy.

Something takes control over you, making you turn your upper body over to him, clicking your tongue next and smirking.

“Shall we get to know each other, then?” You hear your voice but don't know where that courage came from.

“I'd like that”, he squeezes his body even closer to you. Jeongin leans over the table, resting his chin on his hand while he rests his elbow on the metal surface. “You look stunning tonight by the way, very different from the way you look on the daily basis”

“So you really know who I am”, you ask, surprised.

“Of course, you're the college's model for good behavior”, he chuckles, “the amount of times I heard professors bringing you up as an example is crazy”

“Well, it's the opposite with you”, you shrug.

“Ouch”, he pouts, “why does it sounds like you don't like me”

“It's ‘cause I don't”

“I'm sure I can change your mind”, he leans in closer once more.

“Oh, pray tell, how are you going to do that?” You scoff, amused. There's no way this guy has gam-

“Have you ever had your pussy eaten?”

You almost choke on the air you just breathed.

“Wh-what?” You gulp, trying to recompose yourself.

“I'm sure you're gonna like me after I eat you out”, he smirks.

You roll your eyes, scoffing at him, trying to hide your embarrassment and how hot you're feeling.

“Do you say that to all the girls you try to sleep with?” You ask, crossing your arms in front of your chest, making your boobs go up, something that makes Jeongin's eyes go down to stare at your breasts, the smirk growing bigger in his lips.

“Only to the special one's”, he tells you, nonchalantly, raising a brow. Before you can retort, you see Soyeon coming in your direction with drinks in both hands.

“Sorry, it took ages for someone to get my order”, she says, tilting her head in confusion when she looks at Jeongin. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Not at all”, Jeongin is the one to say, “I was just about to leave, it's nice to see you by the way”, he smiles at Soyeon while getting up. “If you change your mind, feel free to come find me”, he says, winking at you before turning around and disappearing into the crowd.

Soyeon sets the drinks on the table, sitting by your side with a puzzled face.

“What was that about?” She asks.

“Nothing”, you sigh, fanning yourself to try and calm down and ease your hot face.

“Well, by the way you are reacting it doesn't look like nothing”

“He was hitting on me”, you say, feeling embarrassed again. “I told him I'm not interested”

“Why?” Soyeon asks, more confused than before.

“What do you mean ‘why’? He's Yang Jeongin, the guy who everyone warns us about”, you answer like it's obvious.

“Nope, he's the guy the people from your church warned you about”, she chuckles, “I know him and he's not that bad, but it's true that he can't keep it in his pants”

“Even if it's not as bad as people painted him to be…”, you lean closer to her so you can talk lower, “... I never did anything, I don't know if it's okay for me to do it here”

“And who's the person who's going to tell you if it's okay or not?” Soyeon asks, “you should do what you feel like doing, don't think about your parents or your church, just think about what you wanna do”

You stare at Soyeon for a moment, biting on your bottom lip. You know she's right, you do, but are you brave enough to take the risk?

“Do you have a con…dom?” You ask, feeling your cheeks hot and a big smile grows on your friend's face.

“I sure do”, she answers, opening her bag and looking for it inside, grabbing two packages and giving it to you. “Don't feel like you have to do this, you can just try and see what happens. I have known Jeongin for quite a while and I know he wouldn't do anything you're not up to”, Soyeon assures you.

You nod, getting up. There's nothing wrong with trying, right? Your parents will never know and it's not like he's going to tell anyone too.

You walk in the direction Jeongin went, squeezing yourself in the middle of the crowd, looking around to find the man. There are so many different people, but you're sure you can spot him without issue if he's nearby.

You do come across him, eyes meeting his back while you watch as he whispers something in another girl's ear. There's an ache in your chest as you watch how she laughs about what he's saying like he's so funny. Well, stupid of you to think he would be waiting for you. You sigh, maybe this is a sign that you should just call it a night and go home.

As if the universe hears what's going through your mind, Jeongin turns around like he could feel your gaze and your eyes meet for a split of a second before you turn to look anywhere else, just to find someone you know. Fuck, it's a girl from your church, her family is really close to yours, what's she doing here?

You spin on your heels, deciding to run to the restroom for now, it's your best option. She's known to be a snitch, if she sees you there's no way she's gonna keep quiet about it to your parents and after that your life is over.

Miraculously, you manage to find an empty bathroom, going in and locking the door. You watch yourself in the mirror, your red lipstick is still intact. You wet your hands, throwing drops of water at your face but not enough to mess your makeup.

You're fine, you're alright, you can just sneak out of this club and get home safely without anyone knowing. You nod, turning around to open the door. And when you get out, you're going to forget any strange ideas you had about-

“Jeongin?” You ask, seeing the man standing in front of the bathroom door. “What are you doing here?”

“This is a public restroom”, he jokes.

“Ah, yeah”, you nod, stepping aside so he can go in and you can walk away.

“I was kidding”, he explains, “I thought I saw you looking for me”, he smiles, crossing his arms in front of his chest while he leans on the door frame

“Was I?” You pretend. You had just decided that you wouldn't let these impulsive feelings control you so why is every fiber of your body telling you to just grab this man by the collar and kiss him.

“Should I come in?” He asks, ignoring your cynical retort. “If you tell me to go in, I'll understand that you're interested in going further in this little game but if you're still not interested, you can just tell me to leave”

You take a few deep breaths, thinking about what you really wanna do, just like Soyeon said.

“Fuck it”, you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside, locking the door after.

Jeongin watches you with that damn smirk on his face.

“I won't do anything I'm not comfortable with”, you inform him, making him chuckle as he takes a step closer to you.

“Wouldn't want it any other way”, he says, wrapping his arm around your waist and pressing your body against his. Jeongin leans closer slowly, taking his time enjoying how you lick on your lips anxiously and watch him with big eyes. Then he kisses you, his lips gently press against yours, so much more delicate than you thought he could be. His tongue brushes past your lips, going into your mouth and exploring every corner, dancing with yours as he shows you what to do. You kissed someone before but it was nothing like this, you never knew you could feel this hot with a kiss. Your belly feels like it's on fire, warmth spreading everywhere.

Jeongin's hands slide down to your thighs, brushing your skin slightly and making you shiver as his hands goes up, beneath your skirt.

“Is this okay?” He asks, squeezing your ass only covered by your panties and you feel dizzy, nodding frantically. Jeongin smiles, he's not usually so careful but he can guess that you're not very experienced, and the last thing he wants is for any partner to have a bad experience with him.

Jeongin lifts you up, carrying you to the sink and making you sit there, sliding his hands down to your legs to spread them open for him. Your skirt rides up and he can see your baby blue panties and the wet spot between your folds.

“Are you already this wet, baby?” He asks, sliding your underwear to the side as he brushes his fingers slightly in your entrance. Jeongin looks at you, looking for any hesitancy but you're looking at him with expectant eyes, waiting patiently for him to fingerfuck you. He inserts one finger inside you, “Who knew a good girl like you would let someone like me fuck her in the restroom of a club?” He teases, watching as you squirm in embarrassment but also how your walls flutter around his finger. “Hmm, do you enjoy hearing how much of a whore you are?” He thrusts in and out, feeling your pussy sucking his finger more and more as he degrades you, making him add one more.

“Don't say that”, you whine, grabbing him by the shoulders and digging your nails on his jacket, trying to contain the moans that try to escape your lips.

“Oh, but I think you like it”, Jeongin smirks, using his thumb to tease your clit while his other hand wanders beneath your crop top, grabbing one of your breasts, kneading and squeezing the flesh.

“Ah!” You whine, closing your eyes to the feeling. You never thought it would be so good to feel someone else's hands touching you like that, it makes you wonder why it took you so long to try.

As if Jeongin can hear your thoughts and want to torture you, he takes his fingers out of you, make you whimper to the loss of his touch.

“Shh, pretty girl. I'm going to make you feel good real soon”, he kisses you one more time before sliding his jacket down his arms, dropping it on the floor. He's wearing a tank top that looks painfully tight on his body, hugging every bit of his muscles and showing his toned arms.

You gasp when he takes the piece off, showing you his muscular chest, making you gulp and try to close your legs to rub them together to ease the tight knot growing on your lower stomach but being prevented by Jeongin's hips.

“Do you like what you see?” He asks, condescendingly. But contrary to his expectations, you nod frantically, probably not thinking straight anymore. Jeongin chuckles, leaning closer, biting on your earlobe. “After you come in my mouth I'm gonna show you something you're going to like even more”

Before you can ask questions, the man is getting on his knees in between your legs. He pulls your panties, sliding it down your legs, licking his lips to the sight of your glistening cunt. You can feel his hot breath reaching your sensitive spot, Jeongin kisses your inner thighs slowly, making you whine for him to do something, anything to help you feel any sort of relief.

Finally he dives in on your pussy, sticking his tongue between your wet folds and licking a huge strand until he reaches your clit. Jeongin sucks on the hardened bud, circling it with his tongue, digging his fingers on your hips as he pulls your pussy closer to his face, leading your legs over his shoulders. You taste delicious, sweet and wet, he feels like he could stay with his face between your legs forever. When he feels your hips bucking in against his mouth, he groans, eyes fixed on your pleasured drunk face.

Your hands fly to his head, pressing him against your cunt without even realizing, his nose poking on your clit just makes it worse and when he inserts two fingers in your hole at once, you feel your whole body shaking. Your toes curl and a loud moan escapes your lips as Jeongin slows down the movements on your sensitive spot, enjoying seeing you coming down from your high.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, standing up. You open your eyes to stare at him, his face glistening with your juices and you have the inexplicable urge to kiss him, so you grab Jeongin by the neck and crash your lips on his.

He groans in between your sloppy kiss, feeling his painfully hard cock throb even more while listening to your sweet sighs. He feels like he's about to explode when he feels your hand touching the buttons of his jeans, pulling away to look at what you're doing.

“I wanna touch you”, you explain, feeling your cheeks hot but too drunk in pleasure to even feel embarrassed.

“Oh, pretty”, he smirks, your hands freeing his cock in a simple move, making Jeongin bite on his bottom lip to hold on the moan about to come out when he feels your fingers grabbing on his cock.

“I don't know what to do”, you whine, looking at him with expectant eyes, he really wanna curse right now but he doesn't want you to think he's angry.

“Here”, he covers your hand with his, leading yours up and down his shaft. “Like this”, he closes his eyes, leaning on your shoulder and letting you work alone.

“Do you like it, Innie?” You ask, softly. Your movements on his cock makes him whimper, he hates being called that but why does it sound so sweet coming out of your mouth?

Jeongin lifts his head, looking at you. You have your bottom lip stuck between your lips, your eyes are glossy, your red lipstick is all smeared and your breathing is erratic.

“Fuck, you're hot”, he answers, making you giggle, putting more pressure on the caresses you're giving his length. “Can I fuck you, pretty girl?” He asks, making you halt your movements. His hands cup your face and he kisses you, smiling once he pulls away. “We don't have to”, he assures you, “you said you won't do anything you're not comfortable with and I agreed”

“I want to”, you say, feeling your face hot. “It's just that- I never did this before, so I don't know what to do”, you tell the truth. You're having mixed feelings about this whole thing, you really want to do this but you can't shake the thought that something bad is going to happen if you do something to displease your parents.

“We can go slowly, okay?” He asks, pulling you out of your deep overthinking. You nod, giving him the condom that you had stored in the pocket of your skirt. “Oh my, you're dirtier than I thought”, he chuckles, opening the packaging and putting on the protection.

He positions his cock in your entrance, checking once more with you if everything is okay.

“If it hurts too much, I'm going to stop”, he tells you and you nod, feeling him sliding inside you slowly. You gasp, the stretch is rougher than you thought and when he reaches a certain point it starts hurting too much. He stops when he sees the tears running down your face, making him frown in worry. “Are you okay?” He asks, you look at him and nod.

“It just hurts a bit but I can take it”, you assure him, seeing him smile. Jeongin leans closer to you, trying not to move his hips for the time being.

“You're so good, baby”, he praises you, kissing below your eyes, on your tears stained cheeks.

He kisses your lips, feeling you relaxing on his hold and that's when he moves, his cock going all the way in as you whimper in his mouth. “Does it hurt a lot?” He asks, but you shake your head.

“It's good now, I think I'm good”, you whisper, “can you move?” Jeongin nods, thrusting in and out slowly, letting you get used to his cock. Your moans make him believe that you're enjoying yourself. “Oh Innie, Innie, that's so good”, you mumble, feeling like you can see stars.

“Shit, y/n, fuck”, Jeongin groans, feeling his orgasm approaching. “I'm not going to last, baby, I'm gonna come”, he groans, leaning on your shoulder once more and biting on the soft skin, making you cry out.

“Me too, oh- oh”, you moan loudly feeling your release, the faltering thrusts of the man inside you and his low moans tell you he just came too.

You two stay silent for a whole minute, trying to process what just happened. You can't believe you just had sex in the restroom of a club and with Jeongin of all people, but even though you know no one other than Soyeon is going to be excited about that, you can't stop the big smile that grows in your lips.

Three knocks on the door make the both of you come back to reality, you jump from the sink, trying to fix yourself to look presentable outside and before you two can talk about what just happened Soyeon’s voice comes out.

“Y/N? Are you in there?” She sighs.

“Yeah”, you answer while you try to fix your lipstick that's all over your face.

“We have to hurry, a girl from your church saw me and it's just a question of time before she finds you too”, she tells you, making you look at Jeongin.

“I gotta go”, you inform, even though he hears what Soyeon just said.

“Yeah”, it's the only thing he says and that makes you disappointed. You shouldn't have expected much of someone who just fucked you in the restroom of a club but you thought you felt something different, guess you were wrong.

When you walk out of the restroom, Jeongin comes down from his gaze. Fuck, he can't believe he let you go just like that but he was too shocked about the things he felt a few minutes ago. Why did it feel so different this time?

You can't stop thinking about Jeongin, the way he held you that night is stuck into your mind and the way he kissed you made you want more but you can't have him not now and not ever. While you have been torturing yourself and overthinking, Jeongin kept living his life to the fullest like that night never happened, like you never happened.

“That Jeongin guy is so vulgar, I heard he’s got girls left and right, doing God knows what with him”, one of the girls of your church says. You feel your cheeks hot, you know exactly what they are doing with him because you were one of those girls.

“I don’t think we should be talking about that”, you murmur, biting on the insides of your cheek.

“Ah, you’re right”, she nods, smiling empathetically to you, “we shouldn’t talk about such worldly things”, the girl grabs your hand, looking around to the other people and smiling gently. “Shall we talk about the song we will be presenting on Sunday?”

You nod with the others, but you pay no attention to whatever she’s saying or anyone for that matter. Your thoughts traveling far to those ungodly sensations Jeongin caused you.

In your lunch break you don’t really want to be with your church friends, you know that at some point, something about sins is going to come up in the conversation and you’ll have to hear how you were a slut, even though they don’t know that they’re talking about you. So you go to the opposite side of heading to the bathroom, it’s not the most hygienic place to eat but at least you’ll be left alone.

That was your idea, until you feel someone grab you by the wrist and drag you to an empty room. You were ready to curse at the person when your back is pressed against the wall and you have the chance to look at the culprit’s face.

“Jeongin?” You ask confusedly, looking at his sharp eyes.

“The one and only”, he smirks, making you roll your eyes.

“What do you want?”

“Aw, baby”, he pouts, “why does it sound like you didn’t miss me?” He asks, taking a step closer to you — if that’s even possible, since you two are already glued.

“Because I didn’t”, you lie, avoiding his gaze, trying to push him away from you but getting your wrists held by his hands the moment they land on his chest. “And by the way, are you crazy? How can you just drag a girl to an empty place like this?”

“I’m sorry, are we still at that time where men and women can’t even be left alone to talk without being forced to marry?” He asks sarcastically, “we already did so much worse than just talk though”

“Just tell me what you want and leave me alone”, you huff, trying to control yourself. His body so close to yours does things to you, thoughts you don’t know if you’ll be able to control.

“Well, even if you didn’t miss me, I missed you”, he suddenly looks too serious, not a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

“Well, I heard that you’ve been out and about with some other girl”, you scoff, trying to hide your bitterness about the subject.

He sighs, biting on his bottom lip.

“What you heard is true, but I can’t stop thinking about that night, about you”, he confesses, making your heart melt for a moment. So he wasn’t as alright as you thought he would be and that gives you some peace of mind, to know that you weren’t just another notch in his belt. However, reality comes crashing in soon after, as you remember that you two could never be together.

“And what do you want me to do about it?” You ask, even though your sentence sounds hostile, you really want an answer.

“We can try and be a thing, I don’t know anything about couple’s shit but I can try if it’s with you”, he scratches the back of his neck, awkwardly and that confession would sound a bit cute if you didn’t know better.

“Jeongin, we can’t be together”, you clear things out, feeling a sudden pain in your chest.

“Why not?” He looks at you like you’re saying something unbelievable and that makes you chuckle.

“Because, we come from two different worlds. You wouldn’t have ever looked at me if it wasn’t for that party”, you bite on your bottom lip. “It’s that girl you’re interested in, the bold and pretty girl who takes risky decisions”, you manage to push him away this time, he’s too shocked by what you’re saying to even try to prevent you. “You’re probably just enchanted with the idea of me and in a few days you’re going to get tired and even though for you I’ll be just another ex-girlfriend, for me… Unfortunately, I can’t recover after you”

You grab your bag that had fallen on the ground, continuing to speak.

“Until I get out of my parents' home, I have to follow their rules and they would never agree with me dating someone like you. My whole life will be a mess after you leave, but yours is going to be as normal as it was before you met me”, you smile sadly to him, waiting for a moment while he stares at you with a scowl in his face before you nod, turning around and leaving him behind.

You feel like throwing up. If he never came after you at least you could pretend that night never happened, that it was just as insignificant to you as it was to him. Why did he have to come after you and make things so complicated? That makes everything so much worse, it’s so much more painful to think about what you two could have been.

You try distracting yourself with your classes and the church choir, trying to get more tasks so you won’t be able to think about Jeongin. You need to stop thinking about him. There’s a point where you even think you might be going crazy, when you see someone just like him at your church on Sunday but there’s no way he’s there, Jeongin would never step foot in a place like that and you’re sure the other people that attend wouldn’t like him there either.

You help get the lunch ready at home, your parents are acting strange and treating you so nicely that you think one of them might be dying and they are trying to sooth you before telling the truth. That’s when you hear the sound of the doorbell, frowning, you didn’t know you were expecting visits.

“Can you get the door, honey?” Your mother asks and you nod, walking to the entrance and opening the door just to find someone who looks exactly like Jeongin, but there’s no way that’s him.

“Good afternoon, y/n”, he greets you, what happened to him? He’s wearing khaki pants and a light blue sweater over a white dress shirt. His hair is styled slipped to the side, not a strand out of place. You close the door fast, in panic.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, holding the knob of the door so your parents won’t open it before he goes away.

“I was invited”, he says nonchalantly, like it’s something he’s used to doing.

“Aren’t you going to invite our guest to come in?” You hear your father’s voice, looking at Jeongin like he’s an alien. He smiles at you, tilting his head while you open the door, suspiciously.

Your parents greet him with a big smile, something you never thought you’d see them doing towards Jeongin.

“Did you have trouble finding the house?” Your mother asks, as she puts some rice on a plate for him.

“Not at all”, he answers politely, “you have a beautiful home”, he smiles charmingly, making the older woman giggle.

“I’m sorry, but can you explain how you know each other?” You ask, confused with their interaction.

“Honey, Jeongin found us at the church earlier and we have never been more proud of you”, she smiles as your father nods.

“Proud of what?” You feel your head spinning, the only thing Jeongin could have told them was about the night you spent together and you’d probably be homeless right now if your parents ever found out about that.

“Now now, don’t be so modest my dear”, your mother smiles. “Jeongin told us how you have been unstoppable about your mission on bringing his soul back to our lord”

You blink once, twice…

“I did what?” You ask, frowning, Jeongin’s hand sneaks right to your thigh, squeezing the flesh, almost making you squeal.

“He told us everything”, you father stops eating, “how you searched for him while he was lost and guided his soul back to our God’s path”

“I told your parents how I became a new man because of you, y/n”, Jeongin says, smiling kindly to your family, “and I asked them if it would be okay if we got to know each other with the intention of marriage in the future”, he says like its nothing, making you choke on the air you just breath.

“Marriage?” You almost yell.

“Only after I’m done with all my studies and when your parents consider me a man worthy of you, of course”, he looks so genuine, you would surely believe him if you didn’t see the corner of his lips slightly upturned.

“And of course we agreed”, your mother says, “someone who got lost once has more chances to get lost again, so who better than you to be by his side, helping him get through the worldly desires without deviating from the right path?”

You nod, not really understanding what's happening but going with the flow.

“May I take y/n for a walk after we eat?” He asks your parents, they look at each other and nod, telling him to go ahead.

The rest of the lunch is unbelievable, Jeongin even quotes the bible, making your family impressed. After everyone eats, he helps your mom collect the dishes and after a few minutes he comes back from the kitchen, smiling kindly at you and offering his hand to you so you can hold and get up. You walk together for a couple of minutes, you’re still too into your own head to ask him anything, everything about this whole situation doesn’t seem real.

“You are insane”, is the only thing you say when you see his car at the end of the road, you look at him just to find his piercing eyes watching you.

“I’m just someone very determined”, he shrugs.

“So what now, you’re going to pretend to be a good boy forever?” You walk straight to his car without even realizing it.

“Not forever, just until you get out of your parents house”, you spin on your heels, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, confused. “You could have anyone you wanted”

“Not you”, he tells you, simply. “And I want you”, he takes a step closer and when you step back, you feel your back press on the door of his car, making him grin, walking even closer to you and pressing his body against yours.

You don’t want to reject him, you never wanted to in the first place and to think that he managed to find a way so you two can be together, it makes you flustered.

“I want you too”, you murmur, feeling your cheeks grow hot.

Jeongin smiles, leaning in to kiss you but stopping before his lips could touch yours, sliding his hand behind your back to pull the handle of the door.

“That’s good, ‘cause you have no idea about how much I’ve been wanting to taste you since I saw you this morning at the mass”, he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you close enough to be able to swing the door open, pushing you inside of the back seat of his car.

You’re wearing the long dress you always use to go to the church and it makes Jeongin even crazier to see you dressed like this than it did when you wore those tiny little pieces at the club. This way no one else can see you the way he does, everything about you is for him to see, you're all his.

“Innie, we shouldn't do this here”, you whimper when he rides your skirt up, revealing the wet spot in your panties.

“That's not what your pussy is telling me”, he chuckles, pulling the piece of fabric aside and brushing his fingers between your folds. “Fuck, you're soaked”, he groans, leaning down to lick your clit, making your hips thrust involuntarily to feel his mouth in your needy hole.

Jeongin digs his fingers on your hips, preventing you from moving while he licks and sucks on your core. The wetness of your cunt is too much for him, it's overwhelming and your smell makes him go crazy.

“Can't we go to your house?” You whimper, looking around, trying hard to keep your eyes open even though your body is forcing you to close them to enjoy the pleasure.

“Nope, I promised your parents I would have you back home in thirty minutes, we are running out of time”, he raises his brow to you, daring you to protest more but you just give in, enjoying his hot tongue on your cunt and letting yourself come on his mouth.

On the way back to your home, Jeongin promises to keep appearances for your parents but he tells you that what he wants more than anything is to take you out of the righteous path. He says that with that damn smirk on his lips and you're sure he's gonna succeed.

A/N: if you enjoy my work, don't forget to give me some feedback. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated and are the things that keep me motivated to write. You can also buy me a coffee ☕

[modelsof-color]

About Willi Smith

Willi Smith was considered one of the most successful African-American designers in the fashion industry at the time of his death in 1987, and the inventor of streetwear. His label that launched in 1976, WilliWear Limited, grossed over $25 million in sales by 1986 according to The Guardian. Inspired by the fashion he saw on the streets and also his desire to shape it, Smith’s accessibility and affordability of clothing helped democratize fashion.

Born in 1948, Willi Donnell Smith grew up in Philadelphia with an ironworker father and a mother skilled in the creative arts. “I was Mr. Bookworm. I was the artistic child no one understood. But my parents supported me. If I was doing a little drawing, my father didn’t say, ‘Why don’t you play baseball?’... The family sometimes used to say there were more clothes in the house than food.” After his parents divorced, Smith’s grandmother, Gladys “Nana” Bush, stepped in to nurture him, a role she played throughout his life.

Smith studied commercial art at Mastbaum Technical High School and fashion illustration at the Philadelphia Museum College of Art. He found himself bored by the limits of illustration, always “changing the design of the dress [he] was supposed to be illustrating.” Through the connections of a family for whom she cleaned, Bush organized an internship for Smith with venerated couturier Arnold Scaasi. At Scaasi, Smith assisted in creating fashions for clientele like Brooke Astor and Elizabeth Taylor, learning form, fit, embroidery, and the power wielded by access to a certain type of dress—a crash course in elite levels of fashion and the clothes he didn’t want to make

His label, Williwear, was ahead of its time: mixing the relaxed fit of sportswear with high-end elements of tailoring. His clothes were not meant to be untouchable, catwalk-only designs. Although the term “streetwear” has been much chewed over recently, Smith’s more elastic definition of the term (bringing urban culture to the catwalk) has been incredibly influential.

His clothes were meant for everybody. He said: “Fashion is a people thing and designers should remember that. Models pose in clothes. People live in them.” Though he was inspired by New York City, he wanted people everywhere to appreciate the culture and inspiration of the city. “Being black has a lot to do with my being a good designer,” he said. “Most of these designers who have to run to Paris for colour and fabric combinations should go to church on Sunday in Harlem. It’s all right there.”

[bradshawssugarbaby]

Silent Night, Joyful Hearts - Jake Seresin x Reader

A/N: This is my second of three entries for @sailor-aviator's Christmas Writing Challenge to celebrate the holidays with our favourite aviators.

pairing:  Jake Seresin x reader

warnings/content: Jake as a lovesick little puppy, mentions of church/Christianity.

word count: 1.9k

It had been months since Jake had gone back home to Austin, Texas. He couldn’t remember a date other than “too long.” When the chance to go home for a three week leave for the holidays arose, Jake practically jumped on it. As cocksure and seemingly uncaring as he made himself out to be, at the end of the day, Jake was becoming homesick, ready for a long overdue trip to his hometown.

“Uncle Jake! Uncle Jake!” 

A little voice squealed from the living room around the corner, a blonde haired, green eyed little boy - the spitting image of Jake - came speeding into the hallway, wrapping his tiny arms around his uncle’s leg in an effort to hug him. Jake reached down and tousled the boy’s hair, beaming down at his little nephew as he scooped him up for a hug.

“Well if it ain’t my favourite nephew! Miss me?” Jake chuckled as he gave his nephew a tight squeeze.

“Sure did!” The boy grinned, in an accent that almost perfectly matched Jake’s. 

“Easton, give your poor Uncle Jake a minute’s breathing space, he just got in the door!” Jake’s sister, Stephanie shook her head as she laughed, her hand on her hip as she watched her son fuss over his uncle. 

“Nah, don’t worry ‘bout it, Steph, I missed the lil’ guy, I don’t mind being showered with a warm welcome. Besides, he’s gotta say hi to me now before his big moment on stage tonight!” Jake grinned, ruffling Easton’s hair once again.

“I’m gonna play one of the smart guys at Jesus’ birthday party, Uncle Jake!” Easton said proudly as he puffed out his chest.

“You’re gonna be a what, bud?” Jake bit his lip as he held back a laugh at the six-year-old’s misinterpretation of a nativity play.

“Well, Mommy said wise means smart, so isn’t that what a wiseman is?” Easton furrowed his brow as he thought it over.

“I guess in a way, it does, pal, but you know, I fell asleep during Sunday school a lot, I wouldn’t listen to me.”

Jake set Easton down on the ground, the boy running off to go get himself changed into his outfit for his performance tonight. Jake laughed as he smiled and gave his sister a hug. Stephanie pulled away from his embrace after a moment and laughed at him, shaking her head. 

“You know, Mama’s been talking to that girl you used to like back in elementary school again. She volunteered to help for the nativity play, she’s helping coordinate it,” Stephanie smirks and nods her head, “You know…the one you used to run around naked in the backyard with when you were 4, her mama and Ma are good friends…what was her name again?”

Jake froze as a wave of nostalgia washed over him, the memories of you and him playing together as kids came flooding back, enveloping him as he was transported back to a time where you and he were the best of friends, completely inseparable as kindergarteners, best friends who couldn’t be without one another for more than a moment. That was, until, you had moved to the other side of the city when the two of you were 8 years old. By the time high school had come around, you were reunited again, but something was different - the best friend he knew as a young child was gone, the two of you having taken different paths in your preteen years, different interests now shoehorning their way between you, making it harder for either of you to ever reconcile the friendship you once had. 

Jake was an all-star athlete in school, captain of the lacrosse team, star quarterback for the football team, and first-baseman for the baseball team. He was in a world you weren’t a part of when it came to high school, and you two struggled to find your way back to one another. He’d always had feelings for you, for as long as he could remember. After you’d both grown so distantly far apart by the time you’d reached high school, he never had the courage to ever tell you. The mere thought of you was enough to get his heart racing all over again, just like it did in high school whenever he saw you walking down the halls. 

Jake shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and shook his head, trying to appear indifferent to the mention of you.

“I dunno, can’t remember. I haven’t seen her in like, 16 years, Steph.”

“Hmm…,” Stephanie smirked as she raised her eyebrow at him, “You best go get showered and changed. Gotta leave here in about 45 minutes.” 

Jake emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later,  freshly showered, shaved and dressed in a creamy beige coloured sweater and his favourite dark washed denim jeans, cognac brown cowboy boots adorning his feet to complete the look. His golden blonde military-approved haircut was gelled up in the front, the way he’d worn it every day for the last 20 years or so - he swore up and down that if he didn’t use the hair gel, it’d be an unruly mess, though everyone around him knew he was just a creature of habit whose life motto was “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”  

The drive to the church was a quiet one, little Easton was practically buzzing with excitement in the back seat beside Jake, but insisted on not speaking so he could save his voice for the lines he had in the play. Jake couldn’t help but laugh at the child’s insistence on playing the part so professionally, but Stephanie had simply nodded and smiled, giving Jake a look that explained this was just how Easton was, a perfectionist like his uncle. 

The church auditorium was full of parents and families waiting to see their children on stage for the next hour, a handful of lines of dialogue shared between each child in order to make it fair for everyone. Phones were held out with cameras pointed at the stage, each parent excitedly watching for their child’s big moment. Jake took his seat beside his sister and her husband, his parents seated to his left. They all smiled proudly as they watched the stage, waiting for Easton’s big stage debut. 

Jake had noticed you standing by the front of the stage, a few rows of seats ahead of him. You were discreetly and quietly helping the children when they got stuck with remembering their positions on stage or the lines they were supposed to say. You looked just as he’d remembered you - in fact, he’d argue that you’d only grown more beautiful over the last 16 years. He felt his heart racing again, a soft, rosy pink hue filling his cheeks as he smiled in your direction. He could hear his mother lean over and whisper something to his father, who dissmissively rolled his eyes at his wife, trying to stifle a laugh. Stephanie smirked to herself, and her husband, who was none the wiser about your lifelong crush, sat confused, trying to work out what he was missing. 

“Jake,” Stephanie whispered to her brother, nodding her head slowly as her eyes stayed on the stage, watching for Easton, “I’d say somethin’ to her if I were you. Can’t go back to California and not say a word to the poor girl about how you feel. Maybe she feels the same way and y’all can have something together before you go back in a couple’a weeks?” 

Jake shook his head slightly, a warm smile on his face. His green eyes were betraying him as he spoke, showing how he felt as his words contradicted him.

“I don’t still have feelin’s for her, Steph. It was just a crush in high school. I bet she’s even forgotten me.”

“She hasn’t,” Jake’s mom piped up as she whispered, leaning over Jake’s father to speak.

“What?” 

“She hasn’t forgotten you, Jake,” His mother simply repeated before returning her attention to the stage.

Jake spent the next 20 minutes mulling over this information from his mother, and the words of encouragement from his sister. While there was always the very likely possibility that the two women were meddling and trying to set him up on a date with someone, anyone, who they thought he might have a shred of happiness with, there was also the possibility they could be right - maybe you really had been harboring the same feelings for him all these years too. 

After the play had ended and the auditorium had cleared out, Jake approached you, waiting politely for you to finish your conversation with another parishioner, one congratulating you on the play being a success. Jake smiled warmly, his million-dollar grin on full display, a twinkle in his pale green eyes as he spoke. 

“Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me or not?” He began.

“Jake, right? Jake Seresin? I suppose you’re a Lieutenant now, your mama told me about it, congratulations!” She smiled warmly, nodding her head, “I could never forget you, we used to be good friends back when we were just lil’ kids.”

Jake nodded his head, unable to control the wide, beaming grin on his face as she spoke, revealing that his mother was at least right about one thing, you’d never forgotten him. 

“That’s me! My mama’s pretty bad for bragging about me, sorry ‘bout that,” Jake laughed as he shook his head, running a hand to the back of his neck, his finger tips running through the ends of his short hair in the back, “Listen, I, uh,” Jake stuttered for a moment before shaking his head with a laugh. 

“I’d like to take you for a drink or something, we could catch up? For old times sake, I mean, if we both remember being good friends when we were little but haven’t spoken in 16 years, then we have a lot of catching up to do, don’t we?”

Jake grinned as you titled your head, an eyebrow cocked upward in a challenging manner as he waited for your response to his proposal. 

“I’d like that, actually,” you responded, nodding her head, “I’m free tomorrow, if you’d like?”

Jake nodded his head, laughing softly as he smiled, unable once again to fight the urge to feel hopeful and hopelessly in love as your unrequited crush from 16 years ago accepted your text. Jake had no idea what he was doing at this point - he wasn’t a dater, he was generally unable to keep a relationship going longer than a couple of months, usually out of fear of what would happen while he was deployed. Would they cheat? Would he’d make it home ok? What would they do if Jake didn’t come home exactly the way he’d left it - not having a relationship was just easier.

However, in this moment, hearing you agree to have a drink with him tomorrow night, Jake was staring to wonder if maybe his bachelor streak was coming to an end. And he couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that it all unfolded because of his nephew’s role in his childhood church’s nativity play. 

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

New Beginnings

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Warnings: fluff

Summary: New city. New job. New school. New apartment,. New neighbors. New beginnings.

Square Filled: choose your own au for @spencerreidbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

This is a new start for you. New city. New apartment. New neighbors. New job. A fresh start from your old life. Growing up, you’ve always been a small-town girl with hopes of moving to a big city to chase her dreams. Back home, everyone knew everyone’s business. Like when Shelly from church was caught having an affair with the pastor. Her husband found out that day and both of them had to leave town to avoid the scrutiny of everyone else. Or like the time when your sister got pregnant and only told a small group of people only to go to work the next day and people knew.

Small-town folk aren’t for everyone which is why you left while you could. The only problem is that all your family is back home. You know no one in Quantico, Virginia. You guess that’s the best part about it. You can reinvent yourself and create a whole new life separate from what you’ve known.

Before moving to Virginia, you got yourself enrolled in night school for graphic design since you’ve always wanted to be a designer. You’ve done some work for your town like making websites for businesses and making some ads for smaller companies but you want to know more so you can do bigger and better things.

Tomorrow, you’ll scout the city and find a coffee shop to make your second home, find the nearest grocery store, etc. Right now, all you’re focused on is getting all your boxes out of the moving truck so you can return it before the deadline. You’re doing it by yourself but you don’t have a lot to do. You never had a lot when you left your hometown but it’s still a lot for one person to do.

It takes you all day to get everything inside your house, and the only thing you’re able to unpack is your bedframe and mattress. It’s going to take all week to get most everything set up which is fine because night school doesn't start for another two weeks.

You live in a building that sits in a circle of other buildings with a huge courtyard in the middle. The courtyard consists of a dog park, a pool, a volleyball set, and some outdoor furniture where people can sit and eat. Your building is right across from another so you can see into people’s apartments if their curtains are open.

Your phone rings and you answer it while admiring the other buildings.

“Hey, mom.”

“Y/N! Did you get in okay?”

“Yeah, I just set up my bed. I’ll start unpacking tomorrow.”

“I’m sad you’re so far from us but I’m happy for you. Does that make sense?” she chuckles. “Anyway, your dad and I will come visit as soon as he gets this new promotion. He’ll get some time off and we can always use the vacation.”

“Yeah, by then, I’ll have seen some places we can go to. You like history and Virginia is a history-rich state.”

“Okay, I just wanted to know if you got in safe. Your dad and I are going out with the folks from church. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure. I love you.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

The building across from yours is close enough to where you could communicate with another resident if you shouted but you’re not going to disturb others, especially at night. The sun is still up but is quickly going down, leaving the sky with pretty colors. There is a young man sitting on his small balcony with a book in his hands minding his own business. Every apartment has a small balcony where people can sit and enjoy the fresh air, but most of them use it for storage.

The young man runs his fingers down the pages of the book and flips through the book at a shocking speed. Is he really reading that fast? He must feel your eyes on him because he looks up and makes eye contact with you. You give him a small wave to which he returns before going back to reading.

You look at the boxes inside your room and see a label on one of them that reads: ARTS AND CRAFTS. You open the box to see thick small poster boards you were using for a project back home. Next to them are your markers so you grab the black one and a handful of poster boards. You write “Hi, my name is Y/N” on one of them before going back outside.

The man looks up just as you hold up your poster board for him to see. You wrote the letters in a thick font so he is able to read them from where he’s at. He reads what you have and leaves the balcony to go back inside his apartment. The smile is lost from your face at the thought of making him uncomfortable but then he walks back out with poster boards of his own. He writes something down on his and shows it to you.

Hi. My name is Spencer.

You like reading?

I love it.

You new here?

No, been here 13 years. You new?

Yes, I came from Kansas.

Job?

Graphic Designer. You?

FBI.

Sounds exotic.

Spencer smiles at this. Some of his nighttime preparations are to read for an hour before bed, and he was at the forty-five-minute mark when you two started talking.

I have to go. Talk tomorrow?

Tomorrow.

Spencer packs up his poster boards and heads back inside, and you follow suit a few minutes later. You’re going to need to buy more poster boards if you want to continue talking to him across the courtyard. Tomorrow comes and you end up finding a grocery store, a coffee shop, and a place that sells a lot of poster boards.

Spencer must have a day job because you didn’t see him at all while you were unpacking. You started with the kitchen and barely finished with it by the time Spencer got back from his job as an FBI agent. Wow, imagine that. A real-life FBI agent. You’ve only seen them in movies and TV shows so it's kind of cool you get to say you know someone in that field.

You sit on your balcony and wait for him to come out. Ten minutes go by and you see the light in his place turn on. Five more later, he walks out on his balcony with poster boards in hand. He doesn’t look too good. Yesterday, he had a natural glow about him but today, he has a sort of sadness about him. Still, he’s out here talking to you because he enjoys your company even though you’re in separate buildings.

You okay?

Rough case.

You want to talk?

Can’t. Open investigation. Of course. Duh. He flips the poster board over and scribbles something else on it. How was your day?

Good. Just school. I graduate Fall 2027.

Field of study?

Graphic Design.

Anything I’d see of yours?

You grin and write down a website you helped design before showing it to him. He takes one look at it and types it on his phone. He admires your work and thinks it’s amazing work. You have real talent.

I like it. You’re talented.

Even from where you’re at, you can see how sad he is. You’re not sure what he’s dealt with today or what he is going through, but you hope to make it better at least a little bit. You have to use two posterboards for this to get your message across.

Don’t let your job strip you of who you are. No job is worth it if you’re losing yourself.

You got Spencer to smile.

Same to you.

As the days progress, you and Spencer make it a nightly routine of talking to each other through poster boards. During the day, you’re unpacking boxes and getting your home ready while Spencer is at work dealing with the worst of the worst. His job isn’t easy but seeing you every night lifts his spirits.

That is until he stops showing up. You gave him a couple of days without bothering him since he might be caught up in something for work, but after seeing his light every night without him coming to the balcony, you know something is wrong. You don’t know who he is fully, but you do know that he would come talk to you if he was feeling up for it.

“Any sights of your secret lover?” one of your best friends, Marcy, says over the phone.

“No, he’s still held up in his apartment,” you say and look out the window to his.

“I bet he’s not even an FBI agent. Maybe he lied to you,” Rebecca, your other friend, says.

“I don’t think so. Maybe he just needs some time alone. I don’t know a lot about him. He can only fit so much on small poster boards.”

“It’s giving You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift,” Marcy chuckles.

“I think you should go over there and talk to him face-to-face.”

“Yeah, I have to agree with Bec. It’s not like he’s your next-door neighbor. If it doesn’t work out, you don’t have to see him in passing.”

“True,” you bite your lower lip. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Let us know how it goes,” Bec smirks.

“Oh, I will. Wish me luck.”

“Luck!” both girls say at the same time before hanging up.

You turn back to Spencer’s apartment and see the light peeking through the curtains. You count the number of floors he’s off the ground and the number of apartments he’s at from the wall so you know where to start. You’re not sure what you’re going to do when you get there but you’ll think of something on the spot.

You have some cookies left over from when you made some a few days ago, so you box those up and make your way over to the building across from yours. Your keycard works for this building even though you’re not a resident in it because you’re a resident overall. Once inside his building, you make your way up to the fifth floor and the tenth apartment from the wall.

Here goes nothing.

You knock twice on the door and wait for someone to answer it. It might not even be his apartment but you’ll try all of them if you have to. A few moments later, Spencer opens the door with a confused look on his face. When he sees you, his eyes widen slightly.

“Wow,” he breathes.

“What?”

“You’re more beautiful in person.”

Your cheeks heat up at his compliment.

“I brought you some cookies. I hope you’re doing okay. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he sighs. “Work has just been… yeah, it’s not fun sometimes.”

“I can only imagine which is why I brought some cookies.”

“Would you like to come in?”

“Yes,” you smile.

You walk inside and immediately notice all the poster boards he’s been using to communicate with you. He’s saved every single one of them and that brings a smile to your face. You never thought you’d meet someone this quickly after moving to a new city, but you’re glad you did.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[skzcollision]

churchboy!felix x afab!reader (7/7)

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genre: fluff, smut, teen angst

synopsis: certain expectations come with being a pastor’s daughter. in everyone’s eyes you are a properly behaved girl, albeit rather timid. according to your parents, you aren’t as devoted to the church as you should be. they entrust you to an old family friend’s son, deeming him to be a good influence. these circumstances bring you two closer together and stir up all kinds of emotions.

MINORS DNI

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Did I ruin you?”

Felix blinks down at you through his lashes, eyes still puffy from sleep. A long beat of silence ensues as he tries to comprehend what you just asked him.

“Ha?” He scrunches up his nose in a way you find comical.

You laugh, then shake your head, turning your face back down. “Nothing. Just– thinking out loud.”

Finally succumbing to the soreness behind your lids, you let them slide back shut.

Your rest is cut short when you feel the sheets rustling and the pillow shifting beneath your head. Felix is too intrigued now to go back to sleep.

“No, talk to me.” He raises himself on his elbow.

You open your eyes, but don’t necessarily meet his. They bounce around, tracing the lines of his cupid’s bow, then his jaw. You rack your brain for a reason as to why you had even asked that in the first place.

It seemed to have slipped out on its own accord, with your thoughts running a mile a minute as you watched your lover rise to consciousness that early morning.

Maybe that question has always been at the back of your mind.

“Like, if we hadn’t met… you’d probably still be going to church, still be living with your parents.” You lock your eyes onto his, lips pulling into a tiny smile. “You’d still be a virgin.”

Air shoots out of his nose and his shoulders shake with a chuckle. “Okay, well you know I was going to move here to the city anyway. School’s in like a week, so what difference does a few more make– and technically, we are both still virgins.” He squints his eyes. “Half virgins.”

“Mm,” you relax beneath his touch as his fingers find your hair. “You get what I’m saying though?”

He shakes his head slowly, his words coming out the same. “Not really.”

You sigh, pushing yourself to sit up against the headboard. “Well you don’t really see anyone else anymore– we’re pretty much spending every waking hour together. Have been for like the past few months. And now, every sleeping hour too I guess. I drag you out here to the city, stressing you out with my family problems–“

“Woah, woah…” Felix grasps your hands in his, moving to sit up. He lowers his head to meet your eyes. “What, you think you roped me into this or something?”

“Something like that,” you nod, breathing out unhurriedly. “I doubt this is how you wanted to spend your last few weeks before school starts again.”

“Listen,” he pulls you into his arms, gently prodding your head to lay against his chest.

“I’m here with you, because I want to be. It is not because I feel sorry, or obligated. I spend every moment with you only because I want to. Even when things are tough, even when you get all snappy and bratty with me, I’m still going to want to be here. You understand?”

He lifts your chin, the purest form of sincerity in his eyes when he says, “this is fully my choice.”

You hold his gaze and nod in understanding, almost mesmerized by his words and the look on his face.

A shaky sigh slips past your lips as you muster up a response. “You think I’m bratty?”

His chest reverberates with deep laughter, the sound rolling through your ear. “Yes,” he smiles down at you in admiration. “You are… many things.”

You narrow your eyes, eventually pulling your gaze away when you feel like his is too much to handle. “I don’t know if I should feel insulted or not.”

Truly, you’re more ashamed than anything. You’ve had such a short temper lately, and he has been more than patient with you.

He chuckles, planting a lingering kiss on your hairline. “Feel like going out today?”

A gentle breeze rolls over you, ruffling your hair as you walk alongside the salty sea. The sunset paints the pale blue sky with a pinkish orange hue, warm sand sifting around your bare feet with each step.

Wanting to make the most of the remaining days of your summer, you and Felix spend all day doing touristy things around the city—something you never got the chance of doing despite living nearby all your life.

You have only been here a handful of times and even then, rarely got to do any proper sightseeing. Your parents believed that such activities were a waste of time, and only brought you to the city whenever you needed some new clothes or if you had an important appointment.

A leisure stroll at the beach is just what you need after a long day in the bustling city.

The deep timbre of Felix’s voice breaks you out of your reverie.

“You know, I’ve been wanting to talk about things for a while now.”

You glance to your side where the golden light hits his profile, highlighting the freckles across his pink-dusted cheeks.

“I’m glad you shared that with me this morning,” he says with a smile.

Your eyes drop to the shimmering sand. “Yeah, sorry. I’m not that good at communicating.”

“I know,” he says. “But is it okay if we keep talking like this?”

You nod, but not without the hesitation showing on your face.

“So what else has been on your mind?”

“Felix… I didn’t mean now.”

“Come on, healing time.” He skips in front of you, holding your sides. “Please? I don’t want you to keep these feelings to yourself. I can feel it stressing you out.”

You draw out a long sigh and meet his eyes, gentle but pleading. “Can we go sit in your car then?”

The walk back is a relatively long and quiet one, allowing you to gather your thoughts before you spill everything that has been weighing on you lately.

A heavy silence settles upon you as you sit side by side, watching the sun kiss the horizon. He doesn’t speak, and only reaches over the console, threading his fingers through yours.

“I guess– I thought all of my problems would be solved if I just got away from my parents, but somehow things are… worse. I just feel more lost than ever, I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know who the hell I am.”

He nods profusely, thumb sliding over the back of your hand. “Yeah, I don’t think people get to know who they are ‘til they’re like in their 40’s, maybe even later. Maybe even never– I mean, that’s not to say you never will.” Felix offers a smile. “Do you think I know what I’m doing?”

To that, you only shrug.

“No one has their life figured out at this age– and even if you make plans, nothing is guaranteed... it’s better to just enjoy and cherish every moment while you still can. Life will work itself out.”

You both fall silent once again as you let his words sink in.

It feels as though a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, not all at once of course, but at the very least everything that needed to be said has been said.

You have been holding back due to fear—not of being judged by him, but burdening him with your worries. Although you’re beginning to realize that your relationship has taken a hit from your reticence, and you’re grateful for the gentle push Felix has given you to express your feelings.

His hand nudges against yours. “Did I make you feel better?”

Your face eases into a smile. “Yeah, those were some pretty wise words, Lix. I’m impressed.”

He then reaches over, a wide smile of relief on his face as both hands cup your cheeks. “Thank you.”

“For what,” you laugh at the unexpected proximity.

“For trusting me enough to tell me these things.”

You shake your head, lifting one hand to run your fingers through the strands of hair that stick to his temple.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you… I just don’t like dragging you down. I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I don’t like seeing you sad either,” he says in between kisses to your wrist.

You lean over to bring your lips to his, a soft but urgent kiss. He envelops you in his arms and you melt further into him.

Felix pulls away for a brief moment. “Hey, don’t hide from me anymore, okay?” He murmurs, breath hot against your wet mouth. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me,” you assure him, gripping the back of his neck to connect your mouths again.

What started as an innocent kiss escalates into a whole ‘nother thing, quicker than any of you expected. Even with him pressed up against you like this, you somehow don’t feel close enough.

Much to your disappointment, he withdraws himself from you before things can advance any further.

You whine, burying your face in his neck. He laughs, breathing hard and stroking the back of your head.

“Let’s go home first.”

“No…” You protest. Your lips land on his skin, sucking lightly. “Need you now.”

There are no other cars around and his windows are tinted. No one would see you, unless they were intentionally peering inside.

He caves. You practically throw yourself into the back, Felix in tow.

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT

You move together in the cramped space, a feverish heat building between your bodies as you grope each other in the most unseemly places.

Your fingers trail up underneath his shirt, feeling the ridges of his stomach before pulling away to admire the exposed strip of skin.

A particular memory resurfaces at the sight.

The day your father had him baptized in a lake, both of you just shy of sixteen; the drenched white fabric of his shirt sticking to his body and revealing his shredded abs. That had been the time your infatuation for him began.

And now here it is in front of you again, in an entirely different context.

Felix emits a faint laugh at your gawking then quickly shoves his shirt over his head, cocking a brow at you as if to say better?

Smothering his chest with open-mouthed kisses, your hands slowly make their descent to the button of his pants.

More clothes come off, hands shaking and moving eagerly with excitement. You have already been intimate in more ways than one, yet this is the first time you are in front of each other baring it all—stark naked in the backseat of his car.

Still, you find him so beautiful, better than anything your mind could ever conjure up. With that dark look in his eyes as they roam desirously over your body, you know he feels the same way about you.

A chorus of moans rumble against your mouth as you deftly reach a hand between you to wrap your fingers around his leaking shaft.

He rests his head against the window, practically crumbling beneath your touch. You don’t take your eyes off each other this time when your mouth slides over his cock.

“Baby…” He gently pushes on your shoulders as your tongue drags along the underside. “Baby, please…” He speaks sluggishly, his tone hushed and raspy. “I’m not going to last.”

“Why,” you lift a brow, pulling your mouth away but not ceasing the movements of your hand. “Are you saving it?”

His eyes widen in fear that he had misread the situation. “I kind of assumed that we would– I mean, o- only if you want to,” he stammers.

“M’just teasing you.” You smile, wrapping your arms around him as you sit upright. “Of course I want to.” You pepper kisses along his jaw. “I’ve been wanting to do it for so long.”

To your surprise, he suddenly drops to the floor of his car, and with a light prod of his hand, you let your thighs fall open. He guides your legs over his shoulders, his mouth so close to where you want him.

Finally, his tongue laps over your clit—and you’re giggling without even realizing it, feeling giddy and almost drunk with delight.

“What?” He raises his head, smiling lightheartedly.

“Nothing, I just...” You caress his cheek, gazing upon him with affection. “Baby has always sounded so corny to me, but I like it when you call me that.”

“Mm,” he hums before lowering his mouth back onto your cunt. “Feel good, baby?” His dark eyes glitter with amusement as his face disappears between your thighs.

You can only moan in response, fingers flying to his blond locks, writhing desperately.

Eventually his fingers join his lips, slipping into you with ease. He goes down on you tenderly, the same way he would kiss you on the mouth. Less impatience than last time, and taking his sweet time working you up.

Soon enough, you unravel on his tongue, clutching a handful of his hair tightly in your fist. Felix groans low against your cunt, licking you up, rutting against the leather seat.

“Need you inside, please…”

A look of alarm flashes across his face as you drag him over you. You lay yourself down, adjusting as well as you can with the cup holder poking uncomfortably at your back.

“Shit, I just realized– I didn’t bring anything.”

“I’ll take a pill in the morning,” you plead, wrapping your legs around his hips. “Felix…”

He can’t bring himself to refuse you now; your lashes wet with tears from your previous orgasm, lips pink and swollen from kissing as you wiggle beneath him, begging for him to take you.

A quiet growl rips from him as he ravishes your mouth with an impassioned kiss, his cock gliding across your slick cunt. You moan at the familiar sensation, brought back to the last time you were both tangled up like this—doing it in a place you weren’t supposed to, just like you are now.

Pain blooms when he finally enters you.

It’s a tight fit, you’re afraid he won’t be able to go much further.

“Mmph,” he groans into your mouth, arms shaking with effort. He separates from you momentarily, concern evident on his face. “Relax for me baby, can you do that?”

You nod, trying your hardest to loosen up for him. Anything he can do to alleviate the pain, he does. His hands don’t stop touching you, softly caressing every part of your body he can reach. His mouth is everywhere, scattering kisses along your face, your neck, your collarbones.

It takes a few moments, but with his gentle touch and words of praises, telling you how you’re doing so well for him, your pain ebbs away.

Felix’s movements are a little clunky at first, but he gradually finds his rhythm, responding to your cues, and going with whatever feels right.

You begin moving as one, your bodies molding to the shape of each other, driven to give and receive pleasure.

“You’re so warm…” He whispers in between a kiss to your forehead.

“Does it feel good?” You blink innocently up at him, a teasing lilt in your voice.

“You’re seriously asking me that?” He drops his head and laughs softly against your neck, bringing a sly smirk to your face.

It doesn’t take long for your orgasms to approach.

His body drapes over you, enveloping you with his affection and warmth. Hips rocking together, minds hazy from pleasure—until all you see, taste, and feel is each other.

Time seems to stand still in this moment, and god, you truly would love to be stuck here forever.

“I love you,” he sobs against your neck. “I love you so much.”

You repeat his words, and with your hands clasped next to your head, you finish together.

You have yet to figure out your place in this world; but right now, here with Felix, is where you have felt the most at home.

⭒

author's note: sorry it took me a while to get this out! i was struggling for a bit with writer’s block. thank u all so so so much for responding very kindly and interacting with my posts. it has been rly encouraging. idk if i’ll do another series in the near future but i definitely plan on writing more so if u want to be added to my permanent taglist just let me know!

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| taglist: @moasworld @acidgh0st @vixensss @yeetfellx @g00dtimenotlongtim3 @letrasalvientoblog @yourmercibeaucoupsblog @tfshouldidohere @sxurgrapes @babrieeee @fawnpeaks @skzswife |

[mooneln0ne]

LUFFY WANTS TO FLY A KITE AU QnA!!! Thank you for supporting my mini comic, as a ty I compiled a bunch of questions below.!

it’s a long one, so beware!

Q (Anonymous): What inspired you to write this comic? Outside the horrors what are you trying to tell?

A: Inspiration would probably be the frequent hallucinations I have and my longing to go back in the fields... I miss my cows 😭 As for the story i’m trying to tell.. It’s a bit hard to explain without spoiling the story….

Q: (@oddity-txt): For your kite au- what do ace and sabo see when they look at luffy?

A: Clearly something that isn't Luffy, but it looks like Luffy

Q: (Anonymous): Since Vivi is introduced would she play a key role or would she appear for like just a few parts, would she have a blog like Sabo?

A: She's important to the story!! She's child of the pastor in this au-- Sabo and Ace used to be Altar servers for his church so they have history of working with her before... As for a blog.. No not really. Though if you look close enough you'll find that you can contact Vivi just before the events of the story to pry information.. But unfortunately whatever happens to her is set in stone •ᴗ• Q: (@washingmachineonfir ): Can you elaborate in religion topic in the city? About the house, why its like this? How many kids disappear?

A: The religion in ASL's neighborhood is simple, you know it already. Now about the house? You don't wanna know. As for the kids... hm.. Depends on how many kids can fill a school bus Q: (@courtroomac3): Hi

A: Get outta here boy Q: White boy Flavor of the month...

A: idk Q: (@humoofsegsual) Is there a possible ending in which everyone dies?

A: nods nods, when that happens everything disappears . Don't forget to say goodbye before it happens!!!! Q: (@plastirk): What kinds of trigger warnings are we gonna see?

A: everything in this list

Q: (Anonymous): Why does Nika go after Ace and Sabo?

A: Because Luffy wants to be with them . But Nika doesn’t want to let go of Luffy.

Q: (Anonymous): Does Nika hate Ace and Sabo?? all their interactions with them are with malice 😭

A: I wouldn’t say malice I suppose… I’d say maybe frustration?

Q: (Anonymous): Where are other characters in this? Like Garp, Dragon, and etc

A: They’re living their normal lives somewhere else!! Koby and Helmeppo are employees at the store Sabo often goes to. Vivi is a librarian, her father is a priest in the town’s church, she met Ace and Sabo a lot because they were altar servers back then! Law is one of the brothers’ neighbors, he frequently leaves though. (Copy pasted from my discord)

Q: (Anonymous): Is it true that one of the brothers might die ☹️

A: . Yes! Im cheering for their downfall! but you guys aren’t 😞

Q: (Anonymous): Are ASL biologically related here?

A: …No

Q: (Anonymous): What does the kite have to do with this au?

A: It’s something Luffy owns!!!! Don’t worry about it too much ;]

Q: (Anonymous): Is there a symbolism with the ghost costume? It makes me wonder what was it for other than to scare A and S

A: It’s by far the biggest hint in the first part 😵‍💫 I wonder if anyone caught it at first

Q: (Anonymous): Are Luffy’s friends going to appear? (Zoro, Nami, Sanji, and Ussop?)

A: mhm! You’ll see one or two of them sooner or later

Q: (Anonymous): What wouldve happened if we chose the other option in the first two parts?

A: The first poll would’ve decided on who runs the ‘blog’ ^w^!!

the one who wasn’t pick was cursed to run a tumblr blog lmao

Last Question:

Q: (Anonymous): Why are Luffy’s friends here if Nika just wanted him?

A: Luffy treasures his friends.!!

Bonus:

Q: (Anonymous): Will Detective Chopper have the same horror elements as the Kite au?

A: Yeah, but I suppose it’s more drama oriented

[petulant-plants]

Still thinking about a Will Graham that was raised in a cult.

Like I can imagine his father being mildly religious, in the way you are when you’re raised catholic, but don’t actively go to church anymore. He’s too busy with work and raising Will. But hard times befall us all and the wrong person offers the right help.

Will ends up getting pulled out of school and forced into attending their church sanctioned “curriculum”

His dad still works out in town, until one day he’s unexpectedly laid off and the community offers him work doing maintenance for them.

And then they’re in it. They live on a compound outside city limits, rarely going into town. His dad falls hard for it, mostly because of what a lifesaver he thinks it’s been for him and Will. Will kinda hates it, hates the other kids, hates that they don’t go into town, hates that he never feels like he’s alone anywhere. But he adapts pretty well. He’s pretty good at saying the right thing and following the rules.

A few of the members are put off by him, though. They don’t like how observant he is.

[malcolm-reeds-pineapple]

Being the only diagnosed and medicated member of your intensely ADHD/autism family is so fucking funny cuz it’s like

Me: hey guys what’s up?

My mom, who has been cooking lunch for three hours because she keeps forgetting that she is cooking supper because she is still hyper focused on the craft she was making before she started cooking and keeps going between the craft room and the stove, she is blasting a Facebook livestream about crafts: HELLO!!!!!! I was just researching [xyz] and i learned… wait, your glasses are filthy let me just… [takes my glasses off my face and cleans them] anyway I need your help I’m stuck on my craft [drags me to the craft room, my eyes lingering on the fucking pot that’s boiling over. I will end up cooking lunch undoubtedly]

My 80 year old nanny who was given 4 years to live 8 years ago and is baffling the medical world by continuing to live, scrolling the obits in between Wordle guesses, adding names to her “outlived list”, she has an entirely rooster themed house and if she doesn’t have lunch at exactly 12:13pm her day will be thrown off entirely, but she didn’t have all this autism stuff back in her day: Maureen died, [mom’s name] do you remember Maureen Smith? She was the church secretary in 1973? She died, the funeral is on Wednesday.

My brother, who has been making feats of engineering in Minecraft for the last 6 hours, coming in from his daily wake and bake he does to self-medicate for “whatever’s wrong with him”, the same man who built his first PC entirely from YouTube tutorials at age 13: [Infordumps at me about Warhammer lore or Minecraft while I pick up where mom left off making lunch while the chaos unfolds]

My dead Grampy who was a civil engineer who collected hobbies and hoarded building supplies and Weird Shit like it was a full time job who also could not cook without dirtying every single dish in the house, haunting the house he built as a fucking side quest in 1993: [dirties a pot from the beyond somehow]

My dad, 4 hours away who started a business because he was so fucking bored after he retired who used to call me out of school if my grades were good so we could hang out and collect rocks at the beach: [texting] hey this is the red hot chilli peppers song I was talking about a month ago, also, here is a link to a video about space that I thought was really really cool that I want you to watch so you can also think it’s cool! Also just finished season 6 of Stargate, was hoping to call to discuss after work.

My step mom, 4 hours away: [knitting a the sweater The Dude in the Big Lobowski wears without a pattern at lightning speed because my dad mentioned, in passing, that he has a cool sweater this morning. It will be done by 3pm. She is also monitoring a dashboard she coded to link up her numerous excel spreadsheets that run an entire city on her iPad while she knits. She is avoiding making a phone call. She has invited me to join a social media platform exclusively for knitters to share projects and patterns. I do not knit but she is god to me so I join. She is an influencer on the platform]

Me: yeah don’t know what I expected

[terrainofheartfelt]

OKAY IT IS OFFICIALLY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT TIME

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

So, about those vague posts that were like “send good vibes, can’t say for why xoxo”:

Several weeks ago, my alma mater, [redacted], reached out to me to invite me to apply for a librarian job. A Music Librarian job, in fact, aka the very exact thing I went to grad school for. So I applied, interviewed, and interviewed again plus got flown down for a campus visit and presentation

And I fuckin GOT IT

And they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, so I accepted. So I am going to be an ACTUAL librarian for an ACTUAL university doing music librarian things!

And since I handed in my notice st my current dead end job (fuck those guys) and told my other stuff around town (church gig, volunteer place), I can now tell the internet!!!

and it’s a full tenure track librarian job like i will be a professor teaching classes and making more money than I ever have in my life and I am just SO EXCITED

(the bummers are moving back to a red state & going long distance with my girlfriend but the pros are that I still have sooooo many friends back home and the cost of living is soooo much lower and I will be doing work that I love and don’t resent!!!)

I am just very excited and also very overwhelmed

and like, the community i have on this website I found or began to find when I first moved to this city, and yall are such a part of the person I’ve become while living here, so it feels very important to tell you 💜💜💜

tldr: those good luck reblogs really worked this time, thank you 🫶

[marvelmaniac715]

Here’s what I remember about Modern Doctor Who episodes which I have never rewatched (it’s been quite a while since I watched all the episodes back to back at the end of last year and throughout this year) but there’s a character limit so I’m cut off:

The Unquiet Dead - Ghosts and Charles Dickens and Rose’s first trip to the past with Nine

Aliens of London/World War Three - Farting Slitheen family aliens, politics and Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North then Prime Minister (yes, I know who she is)

Dalek - I screamed when I saw a Dalek levitate up the stairs, Rose imprints on a museum Dalek, the Doctor tells a Dalek to die and we meet Adam

School Reunion - K9, Sarah Jane, brain boosting chips and kids who do coding

The Girl in the Fireplace - Reinette, “I’m the Doctor and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour”, banana daiquiri, ‘I Could Have Danced All Night’, fake drunk Doctor insulting Mickey with the adjective “thick” , a horse that the Doctor can’t keep and a spaceship (I’ve seen so many TikTok edits so I know more about this one despite only watching it once)

Rise of the Cybermen/The Age of Steel - Rich Jackie in alternate world, living Pete, alternate Mickey, Rose the Yorkshire Terrier, Doctor and Rose as waiters, and the Cybermen

The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit - Satan himself, a possessed guy with pen on his face and introduction to the Ood

Love and Monsters - Absorvaloff, “wrong bucket”, LINDA, ‘Mr Blue Sky’, Jackie flirting with the protagonist and Elton John

Army of Ghosts/Doomsday - Cybermen, our first glimpse of modern day Torchwood, “I did my duty” and the devastating loss of Rose

Smith and Jones - Introduction to the BAMF Martha Jones, a platoon of Judoon on the moon and an old lady with a straw

Gridlock - Bad traffic, mood patches, Face of Boe says “You Are Not Alone” and a woman has a basket of cats with a cat man

Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks - Andrew Garfield, pig man, human Dalek, Empire State Building, Tallulah and the Great Depression (I distinctly remember sarcastically asking “is the Doctor going to stop the Great Depression?”)

42 - “Burn with me”, the sun and a quiz, aside from that I really don’t remember (hated this episode)

Blink - The Weeping Angels who give me the creeps, peeling off wallpaper to reveal a message from the Doctor, the Doctor’s dvd messages and Sally Sparrow (I physically cannot rewatch this because I instinctively stop blinking whenever I see the Angels and I don’t want my eyes to dry out so I’ll give this one a skip even though it is great)

The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End - Missing planets, Shadow Proclamation, insane vortex Dalek, Davros himself, a major epic team up with everyone from all over the Whoniverse and the devastating loss of Donna Noble’s memories

Planet of the Dead - “Hello, I’m the Doctor, happy Easter”, a bus, “He will knock four times” and Lady Christina (I think that’s her name anyway) being a thief and turned down flat when she tries to be a companion

The Beast Below - Happy and sad robot things and a very young looking Queen in space

Victory of the Daleks - Human Dalek guy, “Would you care for some tea?” and Winston Churchill being involved in a fight against Daleks

The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone - Return of River Song my QUEEN, Weeping Angels again, “That which holds the image of an angel becomes an angel” and the church army

The Vampires of Venice - Fish vampires, Venice, “then we will take your world” and the Doctor jumping out of a stag-do cake

Amy’s Choice - Dream pollen, Peruvian folk band with ponchos, pregnancy and sinister old people

The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood - Silurians, Amy being dressed for a much warmer country and a young boy who I affectionately dubbed ‘Exposition Child’ and promptly forgot the actual name of

The Lodger - Fake upstairs apartment, my city being the setting (not filmed there btw) and James Corden being… himself

The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang - Big villain team up, River becomes the sun, a fez is yeeted into the distance never to be seen again, plastic Roman Rory, Cleopatra River and the Doctor gives an epic speech

The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon - Child River, the Doctor dies and it’s very creepy

Night Terrors - Creepy dolls singing nursery rhymes, an old lady eaten by a bin, a man swallowed by his floor and an alien child overreacting to an extreme level

The Girl Who Waited - Old Amy and the Doctor lying to Rory to kill a version of Amy (not a cool thing to do)

Closing Time - Cybermen, Stormageddon, the Doctor working in a shop and James Corden 2: The Cordening

The Wedding of River Song - The Doctor doesn’t time so time goes weird, the Doctor gets hitched and I really can’t remember much else

The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe - Narnia ripoff with trees and Matt Smith falls out of a hammock then attempts to play it off like it was part of the scene in the script

Asylum of the Daleks - Dalek eye stalk on humans, Amy hallucinates whilst becoming a Dalek, a pointless divorce and Clara Oswin the soufflé making Dalek

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship - Dinosaurs and Rory’s amazing dad who has a trowel (also the Doctor has a Christmas list)

A Town Called Mercy - A horse called Susan who wants their owner to respect their life choices, the Doctor in a brand new hat and general Western vibes

The Angels Take Manhattan - Weeping Angel Statue of Liberty, more River and we lose Amy and Rory forever but there’s a nice mystery book with a foreword from Amy so it’s all okay

Cold War - Submarine and an Ice Warrior

Hide - 1970s ghost plot (didn’t like it)

Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS - FINALLY we see much more of the TARDIS!

Nightmare in Silver - Cybermen, ungrateful kids and Warwick Davis

Into the Dalek - Rusty says “You are a good Dalek”, Clara meets Danny Pink and cares so the Doctor doesn’t have to

Listen - Orson Pink, Dan the Soldier Man, the Doctor whips out his dad skills and fear is a superpower

Time Heist - Big bank heist and people with flat heads

Kill the Moon - Courtney from Coal Hill (glad she didn’t come back) and an uncomfortable allegory involving the moon being an egg

Mummy on the Orient Express - A train with a killing Mummy and Clara in a great outfit and bob haircut

Flatline - Rigsy, graffiti, tiny TARDIS with the Doctor trapped inside and scary vibes

In the Forest of the Night - Danny leads a school trip, there’s trees, one of the kids is played by the girl that used to voice Peppa Pig and I think at one point it tells kids not to take their medication? I got a bit confused with this one

Last Christmas - Santa and murdering dream worms

Under the Lake/Before the Flood - Bootstrap paradox monologue straight to camera (“Google it”), and the Doctor’s apology cards

Sleep No More - ‘Mr Sandman’ and eye crust

Oxygen - Capitalist space suits, a blue guy and the Doctor goes blind

The Pyramid at the End of the World/The Lie of the Land - The scary Monks rewrite history, Bill’s mum inadvertently changes things, Missy is iconic as always and Bill makes a bad deal

Empress of Mars - Ice Warriors and “God save the Queen” written on Mars

The Eaters of Light - Crows can talk, and Missy CRIES

The Woman Who Fell To Earth - We meet Thirteen and there’s a guy with teeth in his face

The Ghost Monument - Race and sunglasses

Arachnids in the UK - Spiders and Trump

The Tsuranga Conundrum - Pregnant man

Demons of the Punjab - Yaz’s grandmother and racism to aliens

It Takes You Away - Norway, Wooly Rebellion and talking frog

The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos - Teeth Guy

Resolution - Human woman possessed by a Dalek

Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror - Boredom

Fugitive of the Judoon - Fugitive Doctor and Judoon

Praxeus - Boring mould

Can You Hear Me? - Nightmares

Ascension of the Cybermen - Irish boy is the Doctor

Revolution of the Daleks - Captain Jack!

The Flux - Boring aside from Dan

The three specials - Timeloop, Sea Devils and regeneration

[voloslobotomyservice]

get to know your tav!

tagged by @auspex-author and @lolthslover (thank you!) sorry it took me so long!

meet Divya (she/her), asmodeous tiefling, way of the four elements monk

what is your tav’s…

favorite weapon? her hands (both in unarmed strikes and spells)

style of combat? a mixture of spells from a close-ish distance and throwing punches/kicks. also more defensive? she didn’t learn combat before becoming tadpoled, as she never really wanted to be a fighter.

most prized possession? considering she had no possessions when she lived in the church, she had nothing but the clothes on her back for around eight years.

deepest desire? to become a monk at the temple of ilmater in the city of baldur’s gate.

guilty pleasure? she was not allowed to partake in any guilty pleasures while living in the monastery, but now she can do things like eat a cookie or drink wine or mess around with Wyll without feeling too much religious guilt afterwards.

best-kept secret? before she went to serve in elturel’s church of ilmater, her mother revealed to her that she was not her father’s child. that is why she lacks the tiefling’s signature infernal eyes.

greatest strength? she stays cool, calm, and collected in the face of danger. always thinks before she acts, and tries to limit her damage to others around her.

fatal flaw? she has spent so many years taking on the pain of others, that she doesn’t know how to truly grapple with her own. from elturel’s descent into avernus, being shunned from her church of ilmater, becoming separated from her family, and now being tadpoled, it’s a surprise that she’s about to keep her head on straight. this does eventually boil over, though, and Divya is unable to handle her heavy emotions on her own. (maybe I should write about it? hm yeah that would be fun)

favorite scent? whatever cologne Wyll’s wearing

favorite spell/cantrip? fist of unbroken air. bad guy always go wheee.

pet peeve? when people don’t try to understand the pain some people go through or just dismiss it entirely

bad habit? tends to pick at her nails if she’s anxious/stressed, usually paired with trouble falling asleep

hidden talent? not a talent, but her thumbs are double jointed. gave Shadowheart quite the scare when she first showed them off.

leisure activity? the Forgotten Realms equivalent of tai-chi and yoga, she uses these practices to ground herself and find inner peace

favorite drink? a monk? drinking? you can’t be serious! arabellan red

comfort food? her mother used to make this delicious lamb stew. Gale has tried to replicate it, but hasn’t succeeded yet. mostly because lamb is hard to find.

favorite person(s)?

Wyll: not only is he handsome, but he seems to have a good head on his shoulder and a positive attitude (for the most part). He will also (usually) think before he acts.

Karlach: though they are fairly polar opposite when it comes to their personalities and the way they handle combat, opposites attract, and they work very well together.

Gale: his knowledge intrigues her, she enjoys having long conversations with him about whatever he’s thinking about at that moment in time simply because it’s entertaining.

favored display of affection? quality time, for sure. it’s one of the reasons she and Wyll get as close as they do — he’s always in her party 😉 also physical affection, but preferably behind closed doors or behind big boulders because she gets embarrassed easily

fondest childhood memory? the first time her parents took her to the church of ilmater

anything else you’d like to share?

Divya is a little socially awkward. only speaking to others about their pain and sorrows for around eight years has left her with little to say when her party members come by and have a chat. she is a much better listener than talker.

Her biggest insecurity is her vitiligo. Growing up, the other children in school would call her a cow, which also made her insecure in her body image. She doesn’t eat too much because of it, and up until the events of the game, had most of her body covered to hide her pale spots. If anyone asked about her face, she’d say she was a victim of an acid attack.

She and Darcy, another tiefling tav of mine, were friends when they were children. Darcy is four/five years older than Divya, so she was only eight when Darcy was kidnapped from Elturel. She often wonders if she’ll ever see her friend again.

The Church of Ilmater in Elturel cast her out after the city’s descent into Avernus. They did not want anyone resembling devils in their halls.

Wyll is the first person she has ever been romantically involved with. Here are a few fics about their relationship:

To A Wild Rose - Wyll (successfully) rizzing up Divya

Just A Kiss - Divya and Wyll’s first kiss shared at the camp party

Show Me How - Wyll gives Divya some… pleasure (nsft)

Tagging @rolansrighthorn @dustdeepsea and @my-favourite-zhent give me some tea on your tavs!!! (only if you want to tho uwu )

[potentially-a-poser]

Y’all I need to bitch. I’m not Christian anymore, but sometimes my dad drags me to church (he does not know I’m not Christian).

I have had severely fucked up feet that make my life a lot more difficult and painful basically my whole life, but it got really bad when I was 12-13ish. Every single church I went to (we were fundamentalist Pentecostals), I would go up to get prayer for god to help me with my feet. My parents wouldn’t take us to the doctors for a rly long time cause they were like “god will heal you 💖” and also they were conspiracy theorists who thought that if we entered a drs office we’d be forcibly vaccinated. Without fail, every time they would tell me that god would heal my feet because I was such a good little Christian girl and was so committed and faithful (side note: about this time I figured out I liked women and had started s4lf hurting, partially to punish myself for that).

Anywho, I recently got surgery for one of my feet because I was on the verge of genuinely not being able to walk at all anymore. We went to one of the churches i got prayer for my feet on. For the first 30 min of service, the pastor was talking about how if we prayed, god WOULD heal us miraculously. I was pissed but expecting it.

Then this bitchass old lady sitting behind me grabbed my shoulders harder than any old lady should be able to do, and she whispered “god told me to tell you knows exactly what’s in ur heart and he loves you” which is so fucking generic but I digress. But anyway she then proceeded to play with my hair and rub my shoulders for literally 3-4 minutes (which doesn’t sound long but oh my god it is). Keep in mind this lady had no permission to touch me and I was visibly uncomfortable.

The pastor also lied from the pulpit and said kids today don’t know what a pastor is. He’s also a bus driver and he said whenever he tells kids he’s also a pastor the most common response is “what is that?”, which I guarantee is a lie because we live in the Bible Belt and my school has FCA meetings before school twice a week that are always packed, and a good amount of teachers have Bible verses on their walls. We have 12 churches inside the city limits (the town has 4000 ppl)

Anyway, overall bad time

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 4/23

What am I feeling today?

Honestly, I feel guilty for not posting my quiet times lately. I’ve been learning some incredible things and it’s selfish to keep it to myself and also not useful to me if I don’t have it written down anywhere because then I forget! Also, I’m feeling overwhelmed, it’s my last week of the semester and I’m worried about school, the fashion show, and women’s day at my church because they’re all happening within this next week and it’s just a lot on my plate because I want to be able to achieve it all to the best of my ability.

The Prideful Soul’s Guide to Humility

Reality Will Not Change

Man will never succeed in his effort to pull himself up to the level of God, and he certainly will never be in a position where he will be able to look down on God. Cocky, arrogant man may make disparaging comments about God. He may ridicule God. He may prance and strut around as though he is more clever than God. He may boast that he does not need God. He may live as though he is "the master of his fate and the captain of his soul." But one day he will stand in the presence of the righteous and holy God, and he will tremble as he realizes that he was never greater than God. It was all an absurd, fool-hearted and deadly game of pretending. Isaiah describes such a man

Isaiah 14:12-17 NIV

“How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations! You said in your heart, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.” But you are brought down to the realm of the dead, to the depths of the pit. Those who see you stare at you, they ponder your fate: “Is this the man who shook the earth and made kingdoms tremble, the man who made the world a wilderness, who overthrew its cities and would not let his captives go home?””

This ruler that Isaiah is describing once exercised authority over many. So expansive was his power that he fantasized that he could make himself like the Most High. But his glory was short-lived, and he ended up just like the other men in the shame of the grave.

So it will be with every pride. ful soul that does not bow in humility before the God who made him. Nothing man can do will change reality. He is not God. He will never be God. As long as he ignores that truth, his life will be headed for a disastrous conclusion. For God opposes the proud.

James 4:6 NIV

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.””

1 Peter 5:5 NIV

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.””

The Truth Sets You Free

Jesus taught, "You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free." Even those who do not acknowledge Jesus as the Christ agree that this is the highest kind of wisdom. Universities place this saying over their doors. Scientists are fiercely committed to finding the truth. Whenever you ask for guidance or counsel, you want to get it from someone who is fully in touch with the truth.

When you make decisions on the most important issues in your life, you need to be in touch with the most central truths of life. The most important truth any of us can ever know is that there is a God, but we are not him. Any confusion about either one of those things gets us into big trouble. There is a great and powerful God who wants a relationship with us and who will use his amazing power to bless our lives, but we are the creatures and he is the Creator. Everything we have, we have from his hand. Have you done some great things? Have you received some recognition for accomplishments? If so, you did those things with the mind and strength God gave you. Without him you would be nothing.

As Paul said to the proud Athenians: “He himself gives all men life and breath and everything else” (Acts 17:25)

The basis for humility, then, is quite simple. Humility is the only thing that makes sense because of how eternal and unchanging and powerful God is and how fading and precarious and dependent we are. Nothing you do in your life will ever change that. People are sometimes humble until they enjoy some great success. What fools we can be! A little success, achieved by the grace of God, does not change the nature of reality. It does not change who you are and who God is.

To live in accordance with the truth, we all need to practice the presence of God. We need to live all the time just as if we were standing in the presence of someone very important because we are. Think of some recent prideful thing you did. Would you have done that if you had been aware that you were standing in the very presence of the holy, righteous and almighty God? Would you have treated your friend the way you did? Would you have treated your spouse the way you did? Would you have taken the credit that you took? Would you have been defensive when corrected?

This is such a good reminder for me because sometimes I don’t think about the fact that everything I do is in the presence of God. I can go about my day ignoring Him sometimes or thinking He’s not around to see certain things but that so blind and ignorant! He’s literally watching me right now and every moment of my life! I need to go about the days of my life acknowledging Him because He’s everywhere!