#i don’t her to ever go back to being kara danvers

[redhoodieone]

You Belong With Me

A/N: Hey guys!!!!! I’m back again, but this with fluff, drama, and a slow burn, and eventual smut. I hope you guys like it!!!!!

PLOT: What happens when you realize you’ve fallen for Jason fucking Todd? Well…you pine after him like an idiot. However, being the adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne means you’re off limits to most guys, especially Batboys, at least that’s what Jason believes but after a passionate kiss with Jason just seven days ago, Y/N realizes she’s in love with him. But what can she do when Isabel Ardila is back and she’s not letting Jason go? Cue Dick Grayson, who might actually be in love with Y/N, too. [More might be added. We’ll see.]

Snowflakes fall from the darkened sky, as one in particular lands on my cheek. The icy touch melts, moistens my rosy cheek, but I dare not rub it away when all I am focused on is when he’ll return. Crossing my arms, I sit up straighter on the ledge of my open window at Wayne Manor. Luckily, I’m dressed warmer than usual since I clearly don’t mind waiting in the cold for him; my black yoga pants, and a red hoodie that belongs to him that I have stolen months ago. Bringing the sweater to my face, I inhale his expensive cologne: oud notes, exotic woods, and warm amber. All Jason Todd. All man. 

A few tears fall from my eyes. An almost unbearable pain surges through my chest at the thought of him kissing her, holding her, maybe even telling her he loves her. 

Fuck Isabel Ardila. 

Jason had met her a few years ago during a flight to China with Roy Harper. Ever since then, she’s been a soft spot in his heart, even when he’s had a fling with Artemis about a year ago. 

But that doesn’t explain if I even have a place in his heart…especially after two weeks ago.

The bedroom door slowly opens. Fourteen-year-old Damian Wayne pokes his head inside the darkened bedroom, but he sees me  sitting at the open bedroom window. The outside lights allow Damian to notice I am silently crying, while hugging myself in an oversized red hoodie.

“Y/LN…” Damian calls out, before he cautiously approaches me.

In Damian’s green eyes, he must realize I’m troubled. But why? He doesn’t exactly know why, but he’ll find out. He is Batman’s blood son after all.

“Not now…” I say quietly, while wiping away the extra fallen tears from my eyes. 

Damian ignores me as always, and he sits across from me at the open window ledge. From there, we’re both forced to look at each other.

“Something troubles you,” Damian says, after a long pause of silence. He stares intently. “What is it?”

I don’t want to tell him. Not that I don’t trust Damian, but he wouldn’t understand. If I told him, it would end in two different ways.

One, Damian would kill Jason Todd. Lazarus Pit be damned, Damian will undo his mother’s and grandfather’s work that brought Jason back from the dead.

Two, Damian would tell Bruce. And I really don’t want that.

“You don’t want to know,” I say, after a while of thinking. 

“I believe I do, or I wouldn’t have asked,” Damian responds. After a few more seconds, he finally relaxes after being so tense. “Despite our age gap, I see myself as an…older brother to you. Not in the sense of being older than you, but…protective, if you will. If something is troubling you, I want to know so I can try to…help you.”

Since I don’t have many friends, mostly due to Bruce being overprotective, I could only say that Kara Danvers, AKA Supergirl, Alfred, and Tim would be the ones I could say I am close to. 

When I first met Superman, I was with Batman after a mission gone wrong. As the new Batgirl, I had big boots I had to fill, since Barbara had become Oracle. Bruce and I were out on patrol, just the two of us, until we had to fight Scarecrow. He had planned to release the newest fear toxin in the water supply, and I was caught, injected with a fear serum, and I lost control. Somehow, Bruce found me, but not without calling for backup. Superman must have heard it first, and he and Supergirl came and helped stop Scarecrow.

When I regained consciousness, that’s when Superman introduced me to Kara. Ever since then, the overly friendly alien invites me to Smallville every summer.

I’m still Batgirl, even at twenty-one years old, and it’s the best thing in my life. Even when I compare how Dick and Babs were once romantically involved when she was Batgirl, I sometimes envision Jason as Robin and me as Batgirl. Twisted, I know.

I smirk at the memory of how Superman was the one who came to help us. Because if you must know, the Batboys at the time were dealing with their own stuff.

Dick Grayson currently lives in Bludhaven full time with Kori.

Jason Todd was traveling around the world with his new Outlaws team, with Bizarro and Artemis.

Tim Drake is living with his new boyfriend, Bernard, and they’re both working at Wayne Enterprises full time now.

That just leaves me and Damian mostly living at Wayne Manor now. At the time of the Scarecrow incident, Damian was in Smallville hanging out with Jon.

I uncross my arms, and instead bring my knees to my chin, and I lean my head down, as a way to comfort myself more, because what is about to be said is something I’ve never thought I would have to talk about.

“Do you…see me as your sister?” I ask softly.

“Well, considering Father adopted you five years ago, I’d have to answer with yes. You may not be my biological sister, but you are my sister nonetheless.”

I huff at that. Maybe that’s why Jason was giving me the cold shoulder and hasn’t spoken to me since our kiss.

Maybe Jason sees me as his sister. Maybe he realizes he kissed his sister and that’s why he’s disgusted at himself…even at me.

“If I tell you…” I begin, before I give Damian a serious look. “You have to swear, and I mean swear to Superman, that you’ll never tell anyone, not even Alfred, and especially never to Bruce or Tim. Because Tim can never keep a goddamn secret.”

“He can’t. He’s physically unable to keep anything to himself. Remember how he spoiled Father’s birthday last year? Drake practically gave him an open invitation. He practically ruined the surprise, ” Damian agrees, before he nods his head at me. “I swear to Superman, even though he’s not even a God.”

“Just promise me, Damian!”

“I do! I promise!”

Then, I inhale sharply, and then exhale with the same pain fluttering in my chest and stomach. “Jason kissed me two weeks ago.”  

Damian’s eyes widen in shock and horror. “What?”

“Look, I know this is fucking bizarre and unreal, but it’s true. He kissed me while we were out on patrol. It was after I almost…” I trail off on purpose, because I know what the demon spawn will say. I sigh deeply. “Died.”

“You mean when you and Todd fought against Bane?”

“I know he broke Bruce’s back before, but Bane almost broke my neck. I seriously almost died,” I say.

“That’s why Todd hasn’t really been here at all. All because of the kiss?” Damian asks, as he uses his detective skills to figure out Jason’s absence. 

“Up until last night, at least. Jason needed a place to crash,” I remind him.

“But still, he’s been M.I.A for almost two weeks.”

I don’t say anything. I can feel my throat closing in, because whatever I’m feeling for Jason is almost suffocating me. The worry I’ve always had for him, the attraction I’ve felt for him, and now the desire I have for him is consuming me. 

“What led Todd to kiss you, though?” 

I find myself closing my eyes, as the memory resurfaces behind my eyelids. 

FLASHBACK/FLASHBACK/FLASHBACK/FLASHBACK

After soaring through the dark sky, Red Hood lands hard on the top of Wayne Enterprises. When he deems it safe, he sets me down carefully, as if I’ll fall over and break.

When my feet touch the ground, I find myself stumbling a bit, until I sit on the edge of the building. My heart is still racing. I almost died tonight, at the hands of Bane. I know if it weren’t for Jason, I’d be fucking dead. 

Dead. The word almost makes me laugh, considering how many times I’ve almost lost my new family. But this time, it could have been me.

After releasing a heavy sigh, I remove my Batgirl mask and look up at Jason, who has just removed his own mask. Both our maskless faces stare at each other. “I didn’t get a chance to say thank you, so…thank you. Thank you for saving me tonight,” I say.

The look on Jason’s face is one I’ve seen many times. But tonight, that face is because of me. His bluish, gray eyes are hyper focused on me. His jaw is clenched, as if he is holding back what he wants to say to me, or unless he’s still pissed off at Bane. After all, he almost killed Bane. Jason was going to rip Bane’s head off if it weren’t for me. But luckily we left, but now without Jason teaching Bane a lesson.

Someone should probably check on Bane in the morning.

Then, Jason is somehow sitting next to me. His large gloved hand reaches behind my head, and he forcefully brings my mouth to his. The kiss is hard, as if Jason wants to feel everything I’m feeling, and he wants me to feel what he’s feeling. 

Then, Jason’s tongue runs along my bottom lip, silently asking if he can explore my mouth. Without hesitation, I opened my mouth. While our mouths explore each other’s, I feel fireworks bursting through my body. I’ve never kissed a guy like this before. The last guy I kissed was a guy at the bar, and that was just a drunken kiss.

Jason must realize I’m thinking too much because he pulls me into his lap, so I’m straddling him. His gloved hand runs through my long hair, while his other gloved hand holds my waist down. Our tongues continue to explore each other’s mouths. The taste of tobacco, whiskey, and just Jason is like a fucking drug to me. I just want more. I want so much more of him than what is happening.

Jason pulls back a bit from my mouth, so we both can breathe a bit. Our breaths are hot, and I can still feel his tongue running along my bottom lip. I want to bite his bottom lip.

“Thank fuck you’re still alive, doll. I don’t know what I would do with you, Y/N,” Jason whispers against my mouth. 

I slowly open my eyes, and there I see it. The pain. The worry. The “I almost lost you” on his face. Even though his beautiful bluish, gray eyes are closed, his jaw is still clenched, and his eyebrows are furrowed, as if he is reliving everything that happened tonight.

With my gloved hand, I reach up to caress Jason’s jaw. Within a few seconds, he finally opens his eyes, and he must see the loving smile I’m giving him.

“I’m okay, Jay. I’m okay because of you,” I tell him, before I bring his face to mine, and we kiss again, all night until the morning light comes. 

FLASHBACK/FLASHBACK/FLASHBACK/FLASHBACK

When I open my eyes, Damian must see the pain I’m feeling from remembering that night. He reaches across for me, and he brings me in to hug me tightly.

“I’m sorry, Y/LN. I truly am,” Damian whispers in my hair.

Then, we see a motorcycle speeding down towards Wayne Manor. Damian and I both see Jason climbing off his bike, before he helps Isabel climb down. When she removes her helmet, I can see Jason grin down at her. They both say something we can’t make out, and then they kiss. 

The kiss isn’t like the one Jason and I shared two weeks ago.

It doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“Jay…” I whisper. My bottom lip trembles, and more tears fall. 

Damian must know I’m crying, because he holds me tighter.

We both silently watch Jason and Isabel walk to the front door until they’re out of sight.

After a moment of silence, Damian speaks up.

“I truly am sorry, sister. Todd doesn’t deserve you. He never has, and he never will,” Damian whispers once more.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, I woke up with a huge headache. When I opened my eyes, I saw Damian must have made sure I got into bed and slept enough because the spot beside me shows he stayed a while. I roll over onto my stomach, and I reach out to grab my cell phone on the nightstand. I kick off the blankets, and the red hoodie I’m wearing rides up my body to where my lower half is exposed.

I must have kicked off my yoga pants sometime in the night.

My fingertips barely reach my cell phone, just as my bedroom door slams open. 

“Morning sunshine!” Dick Grayson shouts excitedly, as he enters my room.

“Jesus!” I cry out in shock. He fucking scared me, man.

Dick stops in his tracks when he sees the lower half of my body. For him, Dick can see I’m only wearing Jason’s red hoodie and my black cheeky panties. I’ve never been this exposed in front of my family, except for Bruce and Alfred, but that’s only when they’re treating my injuries.

“Oh…” Dick sighs to himself. His eyes must have zeroed in on everything.

“Dick! Come on! Look away! I’m practically mooning you!” I yell out, before I pull the covers up and bundle myself up.

When I manage to look at Dick, I can see he’s still stunned. His gorgeous blue eyes are huge, and his mouth is still open. 

“You…”

“What?!” I hiss out angrily.

“You have a tattoo on your butt cheek,” Dick answers quietly.

“Yeah, so?! I’m twenty-one years old, Dickhead,” I answer back.

Dick finally shakes his head and snaps himself out of his daze. He walks further in until he’s standing at the end of my bed. “You’ve been hanging out with Jason too much for that profanity.”

Not enough time with him. 

“What does your tattoo say?”

“What?”

“What does your tattoo say?” Dick repeats his question. He sounds too eager. Too interested in it. “It’s a word in cursive. I just…I couldn’t see exactly what it said.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s my nickname, Dick.”

“Y/NN?”

“No, my other nickname.”

“What’s your other nickname?”

“I’m not telling you!”

“Come on! Please! Please tell me! I won’t tell Bruce! Or Tim!”

Realizing Dick won’t stop, I push the covers away enough to slip out on the other side of my bed; away from Dick. My yoga pants are on the floor, so I quickly grab them and put them on. 

“Tim already knows. He went with me when I got it,” I reveal.

“That’s not fair, Y/N. Come on. I’m begging you. Please…” Dick continues.

“Fine! It says doll! My tattoo says doll!” I snap.

Dick appears confused. “I don’t remember you ever having a tattoo there. When did you get it?”

I’m suddenly stunned. How would Dick know? He’s never seen me naked or even almost naked before. 

“I got it last week,” I answer.

“And you only asked Tim to go?” Dick asks.

“Well, yeah. He’s not judgemental. He was rather supportive of it.”

I walk around Dick to get ready for breakfast. I hurry over to my vanity mirror to brush my hair. Glancing occasionally in the mirror, I can see Dick is truly confused as to why I have that as a tattoo. I don’t know why he cares so much. Dick is usually laid back whenever he visits. It’s only when he stays longer that he becomes the mother hen to us all.

“Why doll? Why that nickname?”

Dick’s question really surprises me. “I don’t know. It just felt right,” I lie.

He must know I’m lying because his blue eyes never leave my eyes in my mirror. After a while, he sighs and shakes his head.

“Come on. Breakfast is ready. Alfred made your favorite.”

“Waffles?!” I ask excitedly, suddenly hungry.

“Yup!” Dick responds with quick excitement, as well.

“I wonder why. He usually makes oatmeal on Sundays.”

“Maybe someone requested them?”

Damian…I think to myself. He must still feel bad after last night, and that’s why he made that request to Alfred…for me.

I hurry to the door to leave with Dick rushing after me.

When we get downstairs, the smile on my face falls when I see Isabel and Jason sitting next to each other, staring into each other’s eyes with smiles.

“Good morning…” my voice trails off. 

“Good morning, sister,” Damian says first.

“Good morning, Y/N,” Bruce greets me with a warm smile.

“Good morning, Miss Y/N,” Alfred says with a smile as well. He sets the plate full of waffles on the table. “Waffles are ready. Your favorite.”

I can feel my bottom lip quivering, and the tears stinging in my eyes. Frozen in the entryway, I see Bruce looking confused and worried at me. Damian looks at me with a sad smile. Alfred appears concerned. 

And right beside me, Dick sees through me and he suddenly knows after seeing what triggered me to almost cry, because then he reaches for my hand.

Then, Jason looks away from Isabel for a couple of seconds and that’s when he sees Dick holding my hand. The familiar jaw clench is back. Jason looks pissed off as he glares at Dick. Sitting across from Damian, I catch Damian kicking Jason in the shin.

“Ow! What the fuck, demon spawn?!”

“You didn’t say good morning to our sister, Todd,” Damian hisses.

Isabel grips Jason’s bicep. “Are you okay, Jason?”

“I’m fine, babe,” Jason answers Isabel first, before he looks at me. He grins, even though it’s sexy, it still hurts me. “Good morning, doll. Sit down and eat with us.”

And in that exact moment, Dick finally knew who gave me my nickname.

He knew that my tattoo was for Jason.

[karaspal]

kara in the current continuity doesn’t really have a secret identity anymore. like, she is working as kara zor-el, she probably signed her rent papers with “kara zor-el” etc. BUT. she also most definitely didn’t disclose she was going by kara danvers at one point. you know, because it would be dangerous for the few people she got close to during rebirth. so by now i’m pretty sure the missing case of kara danvers has gone cold. the people she went to high school with think she is most likely dead. one of them made a tiktok talking about her that blew up. “a girl in my class didn’t come to school one day and we haven’t seen her since. this is her story.” for all we know, there might even be a true crime episode dedicated to the disappearance of kara danvers. i’m sure she is flattered. the neighbours probably still occasionally bring eliza and jeremiah diner once in a while. “i’m sorry this happened to your daughter. she was such a bright kid.”, “we know, it’s just… so sad, man. *supergirl flies over them* just so so sad.” afterwards, they invited kara to eat the food together. they also tell her they should just fake her death at this point. she doesn’t want to. it’s just about the funniest thing that has ever happened to her (of course she tells her friends what really happened. she doesn’t let them be turmoiled by her “death” for too long.)

anyway, i think next time she has an ongoing she should team up with a detective buddy of her who got hired to investigate the strange disappearance of kara danvers. he doesn’t know supergirl went by “kara danvers” at one point. “hey, kara, isn’t it strange you both have the same first name?”, “what can i say, who doesn’t like the name kara?”. they investigate together for a while, because it’s just so funny to kara. but in the end she tells her friend and they finally fake kara danvers’ death.

[natalievoncatte]

Alex and Kara looked at each other. Kara stood before her desk in full Supergirl regalia, cape feeling heavy on her back.

“There has to be an explanation for this,” said Alex.

Kara couldn’t accept that. If Lena had gone no-contact for a time, that would be reasonable. She’d sometimes hole up in her lab for days at a time, barely sleeping or eating, consumed by an idea- but she would warn Kara first. She definitely wouldn’t no-show a brunch da… a brunch friend meetup between friends at their favorite patisserie and then go totally off radar for three days.

“She didn’t show up to our brunch,” Kara said. “We have to find her. I need to know she’s okay, Alex.”

Her sister sat back in her chair and looked back at her over her desk.

“Have you looked? You can cover more ground and do it faster than we ever could.”

“Of course I’ve *looked*,” said Kara. “That’s why I’m so worried. I flew past her apartment and things weren’t right. There was a mug of tea left out on the counter. The place was messy. Lena doesn’t do messy.”

“But no signs of a struggle,” said Alex.

“I called Jess and she said Lena left her a message saying she needed a few days away and she’d be back by Friday.”

“So,” said Alex, “sounds like you should wait until Friday.”

“She missed our date, Alex.”

There was a heavy, uncomfortable pause. Alex went very still, examining Kara with calculating eyes. She picked up a pen and toyed with it in both hands, frowning.

“Maybe she just needs space?”

“Why would she need space. I’m her best friend. We were having Sunday brunch. We have Sunday brunch every Sunday.”

Alex rocked slightly in her desk chair.

“Okay. I’ll order Brainy to start a search and we’ll see if we can pin her down, but Kara… she’s your friend. Sometimes friends need space. Something may have come up.”

Kara crossed her arms. “Then why wouldn’t she tell me? She wouldn’t just ghost me, Alex. I’m telling you she wouldn’t.”

“Okay,” Alex began, “alright, like I said, we’ll start a search.”

She said something else, but Alex’s voice was drowned out by another.

Lex.

“Hello, Kara. Don’t move, don’t react. I’ve hacked the DEO systems and I’m broadcasting on a frequency your charming sister can’t hear, only you. You’re going to follow my instructions. Say okay, or there will be consequences.”

“Okay, Alex,” said Kara, “I’ll go home and try to relax.”

Kara had to use every ounce of her Kryptonian control over her muscles and breathing to appear calm.

“I’ll let you know if we wind anything.”

Kara nodded and turned to leave.

“Go to your locker, and change. You’ll find one of my agents has left a note with an address. Go there, and do not change back into that cheerful little costume of yours. This one is for Kara Danvers.

Thinking along the way, Kara walked silently to the locker room. Once she was inside, and free of cameras, she hurriedly texted Alex, urging her not to react or do anything obvious but that the system had been compromised and there was at least one Cadmus goon in the building.

Then, she changed. The note was in the pocket of her shirt.

Grinding her teeth, Kara left the DEO as a human did, on foot, and traversed National City as a human did, slowly. It didn’t take long for her to spot the drones; she was being watched.

The address wasn’t far, a small commercial building about ten blocks from the DEO, a nondescript brick block with roll-up garage doors not unlike a dozen others on the same street. Kara walked around to the side of the building where a glass door buzzed and unlocked.

Kara opened it and stepped inside. Immediately inside the entrance was just an empty vestibule with an occupied receptionists’s counter and an old chair. A sticky note hung on the wall with an arrow.

Following it, Kara found a solid door that was lined on the inside with lead, as were the walls, of course. She turned the knob, super-hearing amplifying the turning of its oiled core, and stepped through.

On the other side was a large pod hooked up to a variety of tubes and cables. As she walked in, Kara passed a bank of monitors lining the wall with the door. A Bluetooth speaker sat on a folding table. Lex’s voice carried from it.

“Hello, Kara.”

“What is this?”

“I know you’ve been frantically looking for my sister. She’s been here the entire time. Look- but don’t touch. You won’t like the consequences.”

As he spoke, the outer shell of the pod rotated open, revealing a tank of amber liquid. Lena floated inside, an oxygen mask on her face and sensors stuck to her body. She was dressed in a black bodysuit, and looked changed somehow. Kara wasn’t sure how, she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

“Sleeping beauty herself.”

“What have you done to her?”

“Well,” said Lex, “it’s quite a long story and you’re a bit too dull to grasp the complexity so I’ll sum up: a little bit of Harun-El here, a bit of your DNA that my mother stole there, and a tiny sprinkle of a special bespoke Kryptonite with a very short half life… the short answer is that I’ve given my sister superpowers.”

Kara blinked.

“You… what? Why?”

Lex laughed, tinny and distant. “It’s simple really. It’s all about the final, secret ingredient, another type of Kryptonite radiation courtesy of my… what’s the word I’m looking for… my inferior imitator, Max Lord. You may remember it.”

“Lex,” Kara said. “What did you do?”

“Let me show you.”

The pod’s inner transparent walls opened and dumped Lena on the floor. She landed on her knees, gasping as she yanked the mask away from her mouth and stood up.

“Kara?” she said. “Where are we? How did we get here? I was about to leave for… I feel strange.”

Lena looked at her with wide wild eyes and Kara edged closer, her heart pounding harder with every step. Her dark hair was slicked back over her neck from the fluid in the tank and she looked pale, but her cheeks were just a touch fuller.

Then it hit Kara, why Lena had looked different. She looked to have put on fifteen pounds at least of muscle, adding a blocky quality to her shoulders, thickening her legs and biceps. She didn’t seem to notice.

“Lena dear,” said the tinny speaker, “sister mine. I must tell you something.”

Lena winced. “Why is he so loud? Wait, Lex? What is this? What did you do?”

Kara froze, a cold ball forming in her stomach. Oh great Rao.

She could see it. A faint hint of a red sparkle in the whites of Lena’s eyes.

Courtesy of Max Lord.

“Lena,” said Kara. “Listen, okay? Try to stay calm. I’ll get you som help.”

“No, listen to me,” Lex said. “I have a little secret to tell you.”

Lena’s gaze snapped around to the speaker. Behind Kara, the monitors turned on, and Lena’s eyes went wide. Kara paused for a moment and then turned, dread coiling like a serpent in her guts.

One monitor showed her catching a bullet. Another, yanking open her shirt to reveal the crest. Another… another… another. There was even one with a feed of her changing out of her suit in the DEO locker room.

“Kara Danvers,” Lex intoned, “is Supergirl. She lied to you. She’s been lying to you. She’s always lied to you. It’s just as I said- the alien has been using you since the start.”

“Lena,” said Kara. “He’s lying.”

Lena looked at her sharply, eyes narrowing. “About you being Supergirl?”

“No, I am,” Kara admitted, “but I would never use you. I have my reasons why I didn’t tell you and I promise I’ll tell you everything, but first you need help. Lex has poisoned you. You will get very sick if we don’t take you back to the DEO.”

“So she can take your powers!” Lex said. “The powers I gave you. I didn’t poison you, I made you a god. We’re going be gods together, Lena. Once we rid the world of these alien freaks we’ll show the world a better tomorrow.”

“Lex,” said Lena, “shut the fuck up.”

“She lied, she lied!” the speaker cackled.

Lena looked at it. “Where are you?”

“I’ll tell you as soon as you’ve dealt with the Kryptonian.”

Lena smiled, but there was no warmth in it. Only a baring of teeth.

“I see. I need a moment in private with Kara.”

Lena glanced at the speaker and it exploded in a shower of sparks and melted plastic, leaving scorch marks on the table.

Oh Rao. It took Kara years to use her heat vision. Lena had tapped into it in what, a minute?

“Lena,” Kara said, as softly as she dared. “I need you to listen to me.”

“No, you’re going to listen.”

Lena blurred. The impact shook Kara to the bones, rattled her teeth in the sockets. Before she knew what happened, she was against the wall, wrists held firmly in Lena’s hands, pinned above her head. Lena leaned in close, languidly pressing her entire body against Kara’s.

“Do you remember,” Lena husked, “that day in my office when you were being a little brat about doing your job and I called you to the carpet for it?”

Kara blinked.

“Yes,” she said, quietly. “I don’t think brat is the word I’d chose.”

“I would,” Lena said, her voice low and sultry, as she looked at Kara through her lashes. “That’s exactly what you were until I put you in your place, and then you were ready to be a good girl for me.”

Kara’s brain short circuited. It took her a half minute to stammer a few nonsense syllables as a jolt shot up her spine from low in her hips to the crown of her head, like she’d been plunged into frigid water.

Kara stared back at her, feeling a strange squirming pressure that she quickly realized was Lena pushing her thighs apart with one of her own, pressing her knee between them to drive her thigh muscle into Kara, against the apex of her legs.

“Interesting,” Lena whispered, her blow eyes scanning Kara’s features. “The flush is obvious… but the heat bloom on your skin and the pupil dilation.”

Kara gasped.

“See,” Lena whispered into Kara’s lips. “Good girl.”

Kara honest to God whimpered.

“My brother. Silly boy, probably thought I was going to go into a rage and kill you because you lied to me for so long.”

Kara nodded. “Yeah that was probably his plan.”

“He’s such a silly goose,” said Lena. “I’m sure he’ll be surprised when I rip his head off his neck.”

“Lena!”

“Oh come on, you know you want to. You must have thought about it. It would be so easy to just… finish it.”

“I have,” Kara admitted, “but it wouldn’t be right. I can’t just murder a man in cold blood.”

Lena’s body undulated against her.

“Please stop.”

“Why?”

“He exposed you to Red Kryptonite. You’re not thinking straight. I’d be taking advantage of you.”

“It seems I’m the one who’s pinned you, miss Danvers. I don’t think you’re taking advantage.”

“Lena,” Kara said, “I want to talk, okay? I want to talk about all of this and… and take things slow. Your brother is probably watching this.”

“Let him,” said Lena. “I’ll be the icing on the cake. You know all this sturm and drang of his is just Lex throwing a tantrum because Clark wouldn’t fuck him.”

“Lena!”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me, Kara. The way you look at my tits. We both know you want this.”

“Okay maybe I was looking,” Kara admitted, breathing harder. “You’re v-very… very pretty and I’ve been feeling things for you for a long time and… and Lena please I don’t want to do this like this.”

Lena drew back.

“You’re terrified.”

Kara nodded, biting her lip. Slowly, Lena released her grip on Kara’s wrists and stepped back.

“Please come with me to the DEO. It hasn’t been long but the longer you go without treatment the worse you’ll get. Pretty soon it won’t matter if I say no.”

Lena recoiled, horrified. “I would… I would never.”

“When I was poisoned like this, I threw Cat Grant off a building.”

“Apparently, it didn’t work. I’m sure she had it coming.”

“I almost killed Alex.”

Lena frowned. “Oh.”

Kara extended a hand. “Come with me, okay?”

Lena hesitated, then closed a firm grip around Kara’s outstretched palm and let Kara lead her back to the door. Kara took a sharp breath and guided Lena outside.

As soon as they hit the open air, Lena clapped her hands over her ears and screamed.

“Kara! Kara, what’s happening, what is this?”

“It’s your super-senses. Just try to focus on one sound. Here.”

Kara pulled her into an embrace, guiding her ear to Kara’s chest as Eliza once did for her. Gritting her teeth, Lena locked her arms around Kara and breathed hard, squeezing Kara’s ribs.

“Come on, I’ve got you.”

Finally, Alex showed up with five vans full of DEO agents. Kara focused on guiding Lena into the back of one of the vans.

“Was he here?” said Alex.

“Clear the building and all that but get us back to the DEO now,” Kara demanded. “Tell Brainy to get the Red K protocol ready.”

“What? Oh God, Kara, have you been exposed?”

“No, Lena has.”

Alex blinked.

“Wait, what?”

“Just get us back!”

Alex turned and made a motion at the driver and the van backed into a j-turn. Lena was still clinging to her.

“Kara, it’s too much, it hurts.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “We’ll get you some noise canceling headphones when we get back. Just listen to my heart, okay?”

Lena nodded against her chest.

When they finally arrived, Kara gently picked Lena up and carried her inside and directly to the med bay, laying her on a the sunbed, while Brainy helped Alex set up the Red Kryptonite scrubber protocol.

Lena relaxed into the bed as Kara placed the headphones on her.

“Kara,” said Alex. “A word.”

Kara followed her outside, then immediately dumped everything on her.

Alex blinked a few times.

“Fuck,” she muttered.

“Yeah,” said Kara.

“You didn’t have to be that detailed, Kara. I could have gone without you describing Lena doing the knee thing to my little sister.”

“The what?”

Alex rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Okay, okay. She’s going to be okay. Except she has superpowers now. She still needs a complete physical, just to make sure he didn’t do anything else, no surprises.”

“Right.”

“I can’t believe that was his whole plan. Make Lena a super and expose her to Red Kryptonite?”

“If he could give her powers, he could give himself powers, or someone else. This is serious, Alex.”

“I know, but seriously, what did he think was going to happen? She’d lose her mind and attack you?”

“I think that was the idea, yes.”

“Okay. Okay. Okay. This is a lot. One step at a time. We’ll need to find him. Let your girl sleep off the treatments and we’ll talk to her, see what she knows that might help us.”

“My girl?” said Kara.

Alex rolled her eyes.

Kara was on the balcony when Lena joined her, having changed into a borrowed set of DEO fatigues. She nervously walked out into the night air and leaned next to Kara.

“Have you adjusted to the noise?”

“Yes, but I…” she trailed off.

Lena stood up and her gaze fell upwards. She stared at the sky, dumbfounded.

“There’s… there’s an aurora. There’s an aurora and… colors. My God, is this how you see it?”

“Yeah,” Kara said softly, too busy staring at Lena.

Finally, Lena looked at her.

“About earlier. I’m sorry. I pushed boundaries and… thinking about it scared me. I would never hurt you, Kara.”

“I know,” said Kara. “I know that, but I also know what it’s like to be exposed to that stuff, to have all your worst thoughts come to the surface. To not feel control of yourself. I forgive you.”

Lena nodded, wringing her hands.

“About what I said, though.”

“About what you said.”

Kara turned and lunged, pulling Lena to her, lifting her slightly off her feet. Lena’s eyes went wide.

“Is this okay?”

Lena blinked a few times and nodded.

Kara kissed her.

She kissed her freely, without worrying about injuring her. She held her the same way, pressing firmly. Lena’s hands curled around her arms with stunning strength and Kara felt her belly do a backflip as Lena actually pushed her back a step and into the balcony railing.

Kara didn’t have to worry about hurting her. She didn’t have to hold back. Lena apparently had never even considered holding back, because she was apparently going for the Knee Thing again. Kara thought she heard the sound of something cracking, but that made no sense.

“Kara!” Alex barked.

Kara broke from the kiss, looking over Lena’s shoulder to find Alex glaring at her.

“Kara,” said Alex, “I’m glad you two dipshits finally realized that you’re dating, but please do not destroy the building.”

Kara furrowed her brows, then looked down to realize that her butt had cratered the retraining wall behind her.

“Oh,” said Kara. “Right.”

“We need to talk about next steps. Lena, I need to know what you know about-“

“Lex is, or was, at an old LuthorCorp satellite lab in Central City. I recognized the background sounds while he was talking.”

“Oh. Okay. We should-“

“Later,” said Lena.

Alex put her fists on her hips. “I don’t work for you, Luthor.”

“True, but your sister does,” said Lena. “Don’t you, darling?”

“Um, yes,” Kara said softly.

“I hate my life,” Alex muttered, as she stormed back inside.

Lena turned her full attention back to Kara, tilting her chin down to look at her through her eyelashes and smirk.

“Now, let’s pick up where we left off.”

[supercorpkid]

Call Me When You Break Up

Supergirl. Baby Danvers. Lena Luthor x BD!Reader, Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers, Eliza Danvers.

Word Count: 4k

The takeout container sits open in your lap, but you’ve barely touched it. The noodles glisten under the living room light, waiting, but the chopsticks in your hand feel awkward—like you forgot how to hold them. Like your fingers don’t quite remember what to do.

It’s not the food. It’s not even the hunger twisting in your stomach.

It’s your phone.

Or, more specifically, the picture on your phone, still burned into your brain even though you put it face-down twenty minutes ago. You don’t need to look at it again. You’ve already seen it enough times to memorize every detail.

Lena, at the lake. Half-smiling into the camera, wind in her hair, her hand curled into the sleeve of Grant's jacket.

You hate that he looks nice when he's clearly the stupidest man you've ever met. You hate that she looks happy with him. And you really, really hate that she’s not texting you back.

A fortune cookie hits your shoulder.

“Hey. Earth to Y/N.”

You blink, startled, and look up.

Kara’s upside down on the armchair, somehow managing to eat dumplings without dropping them. Alex is sprawled on the carpet like she’s exactly one second away from a food coma.

“Sorry,” you mutter, stabbing a noodle. “Just thinking.”

Alex smirks, too knowing. “Thinking about Lena?”

You go still. “No.”

They both turn to look at you.

“…Yes.”

Kara sits up a little. “Is she okay?”

You shrug like it doesn’t matter. Like you haven’t been obsessing over that photo for the past thirty minutes. “She posted a picture with her boyfriend. They’re at the lake. Together. Just the two of them.”

Alex rolls her eyes. “Phone guy. What’s his name again? Greg? Graham?”

“Grant,” you mutter, way too fast. “Stupid name.”

There’s a small pause. Kara raises an eyebrow.

You keep going. “Whatever. I just think it’s weird, okay? Didn’t she say she was too busy for a weekend away? Too busy to come to Midvale with us? And now she’s all cuddly and photogenic and on a getaway trip with his stupid face—” You stop yourself, huffing out a breath. “I don’t know. Whatever. It’s not a big deal.”

Alex crunches into her cookie. “Sounds like it is.”

Kara gives you a soft, knowing smile. “Is it because he's on his phone all the time or do you just miss her?”

You nod, relieved that someone gets it. “I miss her! We used to talk all the time. Stay up late talking about forever. I mean, she’d call me after meetings just to vent, and I'd be the first thing on her mind when she woke up. Now it’s all Grant this, Grant that. And she’s not even texting me—ugh.”

You shove a bite of food into your mouth and talk around it. “Honestly, I just wish I could make her forget about him for a while. Wouldn’t it be nice if she forgot what his name is?”

Alex pauses mid-bite.

“…That’s a little intense, Y/N,” Kara says gently.

“Thank you for saying what we all have been thinking,” Alex mutters. 

You wave a hand, dismissively. “No, come on. I’m just saying—I get her. I know how to make her feel better when she’s down. I know what she’s made of. I’m her best friend. Her boyfriend should be, like, ten times better than me. That’s the bare minimum, right?”

Kara gives you a look. “Okay, rude. I’m her best friend.”

Alex groans. “Not this again.”

You point your chopsticks at Kara. “I was there when she cried over her mother.”

“I helped her escape a spaceship prison where she was being obligated to marry my ex-boyfriend!”

“Oh please, you were doing that for yourself! I fly to Newfoundland once a week for her favorite food!”

Alex throws her hands up. “You’re all insane.”

Eliza, who's been in the kitchen doing whatever and not participating in the conversation, says—like she’s commenting on the weather, not detonating a bomb—

“Honey, are you in love with Lena?”

You freeze. Your sisters freeze.

“…What?”

Eliza doesn’t even look up. “I said, are you in love with Lena?” As if you hadn't heard her, and not like she has asked the most absurd question ever.

You open your mouth but nothing comes out. Alex stares at you like you’ve just been exposed in 4K. Kara drops her dumpling. And you sit there, too stunned.

And then, finally, you manage a small, shaky— “No.”

No one says anything else.

Kara doesn’t move, wheels on her head turning. Alex just blinks at you, like this is the first time she is seeing you. Even Eliza, who definitely heard the lie, doesn’t call you out on it.

The silence stretches, and you pretend to be very interested in your noodles, though you don't eat it.

Eventually, your mom changes the subject. You barely say another word the rest of the night.

It’s much later when the house has gone still and your childhood bedroom is dark, except for the faint blue glow of your phone screen. You're lying on the same double bed you used to share with Kara when you were little—back when you still kicked in your sleep and she talked through her dreams.

Now you’re older, but apparently nothing’s changed, because tonight, you're sharing it again. Kara’s out cold beside you, snoring into your pillow like she owns it. Alex on her bed on the other side of the room, cocooned in three blankets.

You, meanwhile, are wide awake. Clutching your phone like it might crack under your grip. Sleep doesn’t even bother trying anymore.

You don’t mean to open it again. Truly. It’s not on purpose. Your thumb just… slips. Again. And suddenly, for the twenty-third time, you’re watching the same Instagram story.

Lena, wrapped up in that soft oatmeal sweater she always wears when she’s somewhere she feels safe. Laughing at something you can’t hear. Her hair catches the light. The lake behind her is gold and endless and perfect.

And then, just as she turns toward the camera, just as you think—maybe she’s looking at you—his arm slips into the frame. Greg’s arm. His stupid, tan, strong arm.

You feel irrationally offended.

You go to close the app. You don’t. You let it loop. Again.

Are you in love with Lena?

Eliza’s voice echoes in your head like some kind of ghostly apparition. You still can’t believe she said that. Like, how dare she ask you that?

Ridiculous.

You huff and open your texts.

Lena’s last message is from an entire week ago: Don’t forget to eat, darling. You get grumpy when you’re hungry. You had responded: I'm always grumpy, and she sent back: no, baby, you're the sun itself. 

That was before she went to the lake. Before Grant took over her life. Before this horrible night where your own mother decided to psychoanalyze you over soda. You keep scrolling up, for no other reason than to hurt yourself, apparently. You swallow as the messages get sweeter.

Lena sent: Remind me to never schedule back-to-back board meetings. I fear I may commit a crime. And you, ever the good friend, texted back: Let me know if you need help burying the body, love. She replied instantly: That’s why you’re my favorite. 

Would Grant help her hide a body? You don't think so. 

You smile at her: Do you think I’d look good with bangs? You rolled your eyes: I think you'd look good bald. You could hear the smile when she texted: No! You're supposed to say no! And you? You'd never tell her no: Sorry darling, can't lie to you. You'd look good in a clown costume.

You groan and roll onto your stomach, pressing your forehead into the pillow. See? You’re not in love with Lena. You’re not.

You just think about her all the time. And miss her constantly. And maybe feel a little sick every time you picture her kissing someone else. And sometimes wish it was your name she said half-asleep instead of—

Oh no.

You sit up, heart hammering. And what about the constant, nagging feeling of wanting more whenever you're with her even though you never know what more stands for?

Oh.

Your eyes open wide. Is the fierce, all-consuming protectiveness—the kind that would make you tear down the world just to keep her from crying—not… just a friendly thing?

Shit.

You are losing your mind. It’s fine. It’s totally fine. You just— You just might be in love with Lena. And yeah, you are not handling it well.

So, obviously, you do the only logical thing. You turn to Kara and shake her awake.

She groans, barely shifting under the blankets. “Mmh?”

You shake her harder. “Kara.” Nothing. You slap her arm. “Kara! Wake the fuck up!”

She flinches, sniffs, then—finally—blinks blearily up at you. “Wha’?”

You ignore the guilt of waking her up at, yep, two in the morning. “Hey. So. Hypothetically. If I was in love with Lena, that’d be bad, right?”

There’s a long pause. Kara shifts, sits up straighter, hair all over the place, squints at you like she’s trying to see through a fog.

“Wait.” Her voice is clearer now, more alert. “Say that again?”

You exhale sharply, pressing a hand to your forehead. “Hypothetically—”

“Uh-huh.”

“—If I was in love with Lena, like, in a romantic way—”

“Uh-huh.”

“—That would be bad, right?”

Kara stares at you. Squints.Then, at full volume:

"YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH LENA!"

From the other bed, Alex groans. Rolls over. “No doy.”

You freeze.

Kara slaps a hand over her mouth. You stare in horror as Alex blindly reaches for her pillow and chucks it across the room. It lands with a sad little thwump against Kara’s shoulder.

You sputter. “Wh—you—what do you mean, ‘no doy’?!”

Alex doesn’t even lift her head. “I mean no doy. We can throw a party for this tomorrow, okay? Now go to sleep.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Okay, no, seriously guys. I just—I just need someone to tell me I’m overthinking. That this is just—like—a friendship thing. That I’m not in love with Lena. Please.”

Kara is suspiciously quiet. Alex even more.

You feel your stomach drop when Kara starts with, “I mean, I could say that…”

You close your eyes. “Kara, please.”

“…But it would be a huge lie.”

You groan and throw yourself onto the bed. “This is awful.”

“This is adorable.”

“This is a disaster.”

“This is long overdue,” Alex mutters from the other side of the room. Of course she would chime in now. "Should we put that on the cake tomorrow?”

Kara gives a full hearted laughter while you groan louder. “Okay, okay. Breathe. What’s got you spiraling?”

“I don’t know Kara! The fact that I'm in love with my best friend?! The fact that my mom figured this out before I did?! Or that Lena’s dating someone else?! Take your pick!”

Kara hums thoughtfully. “Mm. Yeah. That last one is rough.”

“THANK you—”

“But also,” Kara continues, “you know it won’t last.”

You blink, confused.

“Come on,” Kara says, amused. “Lena and Grant? That’s, like, Alex trying to use emojis. It’s unnatural and doomed to fail.”

That… should not make you feel as good as it does.

"Fuck you.” Alex grumbles. And that shouldn't make you feel even better.

“I mean, let’s be real. When they break up, who’s Lena gonna call?”

Your stomach flips. You swallow. “Me.”

Kara hums approvingly. “Exactly.”

For a second, you let yourself picture it. Lena, heartbroken, coming to you for comfort. Lena, curling into your side, whispering, I just needed to see you. Lena, looking at you like—like—

Oh.

You sit up straighter, heat creeping up your neck. “Okay. So. I’m in love with Lena.”

Kara and Alex, in unison: “No doy.” 

Then, just to annoy you further, Alex adds, “Seriously. You’re in love. We know. Midvale knows. Now go the fuck to sleep. I'm begging you!”

You inhale sharply. “I hate both of you.”

Kara just giggles, settling back in bed. Alex turns to the other side. And so you're left alone to think about your feelings and do no sleep at all.

No. Seriously. You haven’t slept.

The sun is barely beginning to stain the sky with that soft, traitorous pink that always makes everything feel more fragile than it already is. You’re curled on the bed with the blanket around your shoulders like a cocoon you’ll never come out of. Your phone is still warm in your hand. Not from use—no, from war. Because you've been fighting yourself all night long.

Lena’s Instagram is open again. It always is. She looks beautiful in that photo. Perfect. Nothing different from her usual perfectness. 

You tap back to your messages.

Your last real conversation with Lena was weeks ago, before he turned her life upside down and pushed you out of, deliberately.

You press your fingers to your eyes, hard.

It’s stupid, you know it is. But still—her laugh. Her voice. Her attention. You miss it so much it feels like your ribs are bruising from the inside out.

At 6:12am, you finally cave.

You: Hey Lena! Saw your picture with Grant on the lake—hope he tripped over and died :)

Ugh. Too bitter. Delete. 

You: Hey girl! So glad to see you enjoying the lake, even though you said you were too busy to come to Midvale with us!!

Okay, still bitter. You can taste it. Delete.

Your fingers hover. You huff, exasperated with yourself.

 “Why don’t you just go full jealous psychopath,” you mutter aloud. Then you type, mockingly,

You: Hey Lena! Call me when you break up!

You laugh under your breath. Bitter, sleep-deprived, mean.

You sigh. “Okay. No. Maybe I shouldn’t text her at all.”

You go to hit backspace. But your thumb twitches. And then—

Message sent.

Oh. Oh no. OH MY GOD.

You freeze. Stone-still. Like if you don’t move, the moment might not be real.

Then your phone lights up. Delivered. And then immediately after— Seen.

You make a strangled noise. Like a dying animal. Like your soul just ripped free and fled the scene.

Kara stirs next to you, groggy. “Mmmh. What’s wrong?”

“I accidentally texted Lena,” you whisper. Horror blooming across your face like fire through dry bush.

She doesn’t move. “Okay... so?”

You spin to her, scandalized. “So?! I just sent ‘Hey Lena! Call me when you break up!’”

That gets Kara sitting straight up. Her eyes go wide. “Dear Rao. This is so bad!”

Alex, still buried under three blankets and zero remorse, mumbles, “No doy.”

You clutch your phone like it betrayed you. Like maybe, if you hold it tight enough, it’ll unsend the text by pure regret.

You whisper, “She saw it.”

And from the look on Kara’s face, that might actually be worse than dying.

Your phone buzzes in your hand. You don’t want to look. You really don’t want to look. But your treacherous eyes flick down anyway.

Lena: ?

Your stomach does a full somersault. You stare like you’re watching a horror movie through your fingers. Maybe you can fake your death. Move to Iceland. Change your name.

Buzz.

Lena: That was… a bold message for 6AM.

Kara stifles a laugh behind her hand. You glare at her like she just kicked a puppy. “This is not funny.”

“It’s a little funny,” she says, already grabbing a pillow in self-defense.

Buzz.

Lena: I haven’t broken up with him yet. So I shouldn't call you? Cause I'd like to, since I'm thinking about it…

Everything inside you goes very, very still. Like your heart forgot how to beat. Like your lungs forgot how to draw air.

Lena: Can we talk? Or should I wait until you're fully awake?

You stare at the screen. For once in your life, you have no idea what to say. But your fingers move anyway, your heart five steps ahead of your brain.

You: I haven’t slept. I miss you. And I hate that I miss you. But I do.

The typing bubble pops up again almost immediately.

Lena: I miss you too, babygirl. You know, you could’ve just started with that.

You smile. Just a little. Just enough to remember what breathing feels like.

Kara reads over your shoulder and sighs, “Okay, now I’m invested.”

You groan and shove your phone into your hoodie pocket. “I should go… somewhere else.”

Kara perks up. “Like where?”

“I don’t know. The sun?”

Alex, who has been pointedly ignoring this entire thing under the guise of trying to sleep, lets out a suffering sigh. “It is too early for this. What’s the point of coming to Midvale if I can’t even sleep?”

“You can sleep later,” Kara says, rolling her eyes. “This is important. This is Y/N's future.”

Alex groans but doesn’t argue. In fact, she gets up from her bed and makes her way to yours.

You sigh and flop back down onto the bed, pulling out your phone again. Kara and Alex immediately shift positions, each claiming a spot on either side of you like it’s their drama too.

“Personal space?” you say, glaring between them.

“Nope,” Kara says.

“Absolutely not,” Alex agrees.

You grumble but unlock your phone anyway.

Lena’s typing again.

You hold your breath as her message pops up.

Lena: You still there or just woke me up to fall asleep right after?

Kara snickers. Alex makes an approving noise. “I like her.”

“You liked her before,” you mumble, fingers on the keyboard.

You:  Still here. Just… I mean, you just posted a picture with what's-his-name, so I thought things were fine?

The read receipt pops up. But nothing comes through.

Kara shifts beside you, her gaze flicking between you and your phone like she’s waiting for something to explode. Alex is less patient. “What, she just—” she gestures vaguely. “Ghosted you?”

“No,” you say quickly. “She’s typing.”

Three dots. Then nothing. Then—

Lena: You think that looks like fine?

Your grip tightens around your phone.

You: I don’t know. You tell me. Lena: We had a fight before bed. I was lying here, thinking about how he doesn’t even know me. And then you texted saying exactly what was going through my mind. How? You: It's just what was going through mine. Lena: See? That's because you do. Know me, I mean. You: Yeah.

Another pause. Your heart sits in your throat like it’s waiting to be broken. 

Lena: I wish you were here instead. Or that I had gone to Midvale with you instead of here.

Kara mutters under her breath something suspiciously close to “dear Rao”. Alex whistles low. Your pulse is loud in your ears.

You: Do you want me to be there? I mean, I can fly. Lena: I know you can. But he’s still here.

You breathe in through your nose. That “but” slices clean through your chest.

You: Right. Sorry. I just keep thinking we're talking about something that apparently we're not. Lena: We are. Sorry—It’s complicated.

That’s not what you want to hear. That’s not what you want this to be.

You: It’s not, though. Not really.

Three dots. Vanish. Return. Your stomach knots.

Lena: He doesn’t know me. Not like you do. I keep trying to make it feel right, but it never does.

It’s not I want you, but it’s close enough that you forget how to breathe.

You: Then why are you still there?

A full minute passes. You’re about to throw your phone across the room when—

Lena: Because leaving would mean admitting that I’ve been lying to myself. And I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

It’s such a Lena thing to say—measured, thoughtful, devastating. You want to shake her. You want to hold her. You want to be anywhere but here.

You: What if I said I was already outside?

Lena: Are you?

You: No. But I could be if you wanted me to.

You don’t know what you want her to say. You just know that if she asked, you’d be there before she even finished the sentence.

A long pause. Too long. Your screen stays stubbornly blank. 

You can almost see her, lying in that bed beside him, phone dimly lighting her face, caught in the space between wanting and not letting herself have. 

Lena: Baby…

Nothing else.

Your heart slams against your ribs. You don’t wait.

Your phone is still in your hand as you stand, as you move too fast for thought, for hesitation. The cool Midvale air rushes past you, and then the sky does, and then—

You land.

You don’t even know if you’re breathing as you step up the cabin door. Your fingers hesitate over the wood. You could still leave. You could still pretend none of this ever happened.

Then the door opens.

And she’s there. Barefoot, sweater slipping off one shoulder, hair a little messy like she hasn’t slept at all. 

Your voice is barely a whisper, “Please.”

Lena blinks, lips parting slightly. “What—”

“Just tell me the truth.” Your breath shudders. “Please. Tell me with all the words that it’s me that you want. Not him. Not that sleaze in your bed.” You swallow, pulse thrumming. “Tell me that picture isn’t true. That this—” you motion between you, desperate, aching— “you, me, sleepless, raw, honest—that this is what’s real.”

Lena exhales sharply. Her fingers twitch at her sides. She looks at you like you just tipped the whole world over, and she’s scrambling to find her footing.

But she doesn’t speak.

And Rao, you don’t know if that’s your answer or not. Your stomach twists. The silence stretches too long. Too raw.

“Lena.” Her name catches on your throat. “I'm tired of could-have-beens. Please, say something.”

She exhales sharply, shaking her head. “That picture isn’t true.”

Your heart stumbles.

She looks wrecked. Bare-faced and exhausted, barely keeping herself upright. “It’s not true,” she repeats. “I mean, it is—we were there, and he took it, but it’s not—” She presses her lips together. “I didn’t want to be there. I don’t want him.”

Your breath comes fast, uneven. “Then who do you want?”

Lena looks at you like the answer has always been obvious. Like it's always been you. “You, Y/N. I want you.”

And that’s it. That’s all it takes. You’re moving before you can think, closing the space, and she’s already reaching for you, fingers curling into the fabric of your hoodie like she’s afraid you’ll disappear.

When you kiss her, it’s not soft. It’s everything unsaid, everything you’ve both been too afraid to name. And she kisses you back like she’s been waiting forever. You kiss her like you’ve been holding your breath for weeks, maybe months. Maybe longer. And she clings to you like she’s drowning in her own life.

When you finally break apart, she’s still trembling.

“Lena,” you whisper, your hands still on her waist, grounding her. “He’s inside.”

She nods slowly, eyes fluttering shut for a second. “I know.”

You watch her breathe, shallow and shaken, like she’s standing on the edge of something dangerous.

“I need to end it,” she says, voice low. “I should’ve ended it before. I just—” Her voice cracks. “I didn’t think I was allowed to want this. To want you.”

“You're allowed everything.” You press your forehead to hers. “But he deserves the truth, baby.”

She nods again, steadier this time. “Yeah. He does.”

There’s a pause. She lingers like she doesn’t want to let go of your hand.

“It's okay.” You guarantee because she clearly needs it. You smile, soft and teasing. “Just call me when you break up.”

Lena rolls her eyes, a smile coming unbidden, like once again you charmed her beside herself. 

She kisses you again. Just once. Quick. Like punctuation. Then she turns and walks back inside.

She calls you less than an hour later.

[fyonahmacnally]

Will You Still?

“You fucking lied to me, Kara! For years, you looked me right in the eyes and betrayed me. You hurt me in ways no one ever has.” Lena screams, tears streaming down her face as the prominent vein on her forehead pulses in time with her shattered heart. “You’ve broken my heart into a million pieces. Worst of all, you and your little group of friends ruined any chance of me ever trusting another person again.” She pauses next to the pristine marble countertop in her kitchen, spinning the now mostly empty tumbler as she watches the last dregs of scotch dance at the bottom. 

Stormy malachite eyes glare at the blonde Kryptonian standing across the island, the silence is claustrophobic and palpable. She scoffs as she picks up the glass and throws it at the woman she currently hates as much as she loves. Lena knows Kara’s reflexes are fast enough to catch the flying weapon before it impacts, she knows it won’t hurt the woman. Nothing happens. Kara just stands there letting it hit her in the face. The action briefly shocks her before she rolls her eyes and leans back against the counter behind her. A look of utter disgust and contempt on her face. 

“Of course you just fucking stand there. For a superhero, you’re quite the spineless coward, Supergirl.” She spits the words at the woman with enough venom that it feels physical. Internally she smirks as she watches the blonde flinch when her words land. Just to twist the knife a little further, she leans forward, narrowing her eyes before saying, “You can leave the way you came in and don’t come back. I don’t want to see or hear from you again. Ever. You can disappear and I won’t fucking care. Fuck off, Kara.”

Kara’s head shoots up, her eyes filled with tears and remorse, her face draped in agony. There’s an anguish Lena has never seen before settling into the frame of the stoic woman. The despondent blonde opens and closes her mouth several times before her shoulders drop and she nods in reluctant acquiescence. “If that’s what you want, I’ll honor your wishes, Lena. I’m sorry for hurting you and for being a coward. You deserved so much better and I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting it.” She uses her super speed to quickly clean up the shattered glass and pauses at the balcony door, turning back for one final look at the one person who’s always been her home. “I hope you find the love you deserve, Lena.”

Without another word, she’s gone. Lena collapses onto the tile floor in her kitchen. Her sobs reverberate in the silence of her penthouse, punctuating how truly empty her world really is now. Her life is completely destroyed and her world turned upside down by four words spoken from her dying brother’s lips…‘Kara Danvers is Supergirl’. 

Four words irrevocably changed her life forever. 

“You should take a break. Go home and shower, get a few hours of sleep. Eat something. You know she’s not going anywhere.” The familiar voice breaks her out of the flashback. She has replayed the last words she spoke to Kara so many times now, replayed all the horrible and cruel things she can never take back. The regret she feels for everything is immeasurable and haunts her dreams whenever she does sleep. Her stomach churns and her guts twist as her eyes scan the unmoving blonde before settling on the concerned woman standing in the doorway.

Lena sighs. Her fingers massage the bridge of her nose and then the back of her shoulder before she responds. “I can’t, Alex. I don’t want her to be alone. She…I just…” Her voice cracks and she drops her head into her hands as she silently sobs. The guilt curdles in her stomach and what’s left of her heart swims up her throat. The horrible things she said can’t be the last things spoken between them. She won’t survive losing Kara regardless, but the fact Kara doesn’t know how she really feels or why their fallout broke her so badly? The fact the last thing she said to the alien was “fuck off” – the utter devastation on her best friend’s face afterward, there’s no coming back from that. 

Alex pushes off the doorframe. She walks over to stand next to Lena’s chair and places what she hopes is a comforting hand on her shoulder. The dark haired genius has kept vigil beside the heroine’s comatose figure for ten days. Initially, Alex was unsure if she should contact Lena, but when Kara hadn’t woken up after three weeks and showed no signs of improvement, she knew she had to reach out. As much animosity as there is between them, she knows they both still care. 

It’s been almost a year since their falling out, ten months almost to the day. Lex’s malicious identity reveal turned their whole world upside down. When Kara showed up at Alex’s apartment in hysterics after they spoke, she wasn’t sure what happened. After the hero calmed down a little, she told her Lena didn’t take things very well. It wasn’t shocking to Alex nor was it surprising when the youngest Luthor broke ties with everyone else in their group as well. Alex feels some responsibility for the state of things between her sister and the scientist. Especially since she also considered Lena a friend, but at the time, there was no getting through to the brilliant, yet stubborn woman. 

Everything changed after their falling out, or as Alex often refers to it, their breakup. She’s known for a long time that Kara has feelings for the CEO, whether she admits it or not, it’s obvious to the agent. And, she suspects Lena feels the same way about her sister, but both are too chicken shit to do anything about it. Now she isn’t sure if either of them will ever get the chance and she’s sure it’s also on the young Luthor’s mind. Kara’s been unconscious with no improvements for a month now. At this point, they’ve tried everything she can think of to bring the alien back.

Alex clears her throat and squeezes Lena’s shoulder. “Come on, Lena. Take a break. You’ve been here for almost two weeks without leaving. Go home and shower, sleep. Please eat something.” Brown eyes scan the gaunt, pale features of her former friend. She looks even worse now than when she first showed up and that’s saying a lot. When Lena made her appearance at the DEO nearly two weeks ago, she was noticeably thinner with black circles under her eyes. Now, she looks ill. “I know you haven’t been sleeping or eating well. She’ll be pissed if she finds out you aren’t taking care of yourself.”

They both release a pitiful chuckle that sounds more like an emotional whimper than any semblance of laughter. Another wrenching sob fights its way out of Lena's chest before she can stop it. Her entire body quakes with the sheer force of it. Raw emotion propels her forward until her chest and head rest against the rail of the bed containing the embodiment of her heart. 

“I c-can’t…l-ose h-her, A-Alex.” She sobs between barely comprehensible words. “Sh-she d-doesn’t…I n-need to f-fix it. P-please. K-Kara. P-please don’t leave me.” Breathless sobs turn into deep, retching wails of unexpressed grief that has built up over the past year.

“Hey. Shhh. She still loves you, Lena. She never stopped.” Alex says as she wraps her arms around her sobbing friend (ex-friend?). Stubborn tears sting the redhead’s eyes as she thinks about how much Kara still spoke about the CEO. “My sister never stopped talking about you and she still kept an eye on you to make sure you were safe, Lena.”

Her words seem to make things worse for the dark haired genius. Lena’s body wracks harder with heart-wrenching sobs and she practically collapses into Alex’s arms. The redhead just holds the smaller woman and rocks them both gently, unsure what else to do. 

Although they were once pretty decent friends, she hasn’t seen or spoken to Lena in the ten months since her falling out with Kara and the rest of the superfriends. Sure, they’ve run into one another occasionally since they still frequent some of the same places, but Lena usually just glares and doesn’t acknowledge her. She’s a government agent and the patented Luthor glare even scares her a little.

The sobs finally subside, but Lena doesn’t make any move to extract herself from Alex’s embrace. The redhead continues to gently run small circles on Lena’s back, still unsure what to say. She wants to provide comfort and help the younger woman in any way she can, but knowing what to say in situations like this isn’t her forte. It’s Lena who finally breaks the silence.

“I’m so-sorry, Alex.” Lena stammers, barely audible. “I, um, d-didn’t…” She clears her throat in a desperate attempt to get rid of the lump that seems to be living there. “I apologize for my outburst. You have enough going on without me emotionally dumping on you.”

Alex barely restrains herself from rolling her eyes, but can’t keep the defeated sigh from escaping her lungs. “Lena, please don’t apologize. We’re friends, or at least we used to be. Either way, I care about you.” She runs her hand down her face exhaustedly. “Look, I know we have some shit to sort because of the identity reveal, but you’re one of us. Part of our little eclectic family. Don’t apologize for feeling, Lena. It’s what makes us human.”

Lena steps away from Alex and turns to look at the still unmoving blonde. “It’s funny, Kara is an alien yet she’s the most human of us all. I think she taught me more about being human in the years of our friendship than anything or anyone ever has.” She sniffles, wiping her face as her eyes trace the still features of the hero in front of her.

With a soft smile and light chuckle, Alex responds, “Yeah, she’s an alien, but has always had more humanity than anyone I know. Goddess knows, she’s saved my humanity more times than I can count.” A few tears escape her eyes before she pats Lena on the back and steps away.

“Come on. I’m taking you to dinner and then to your apartment for some sleep and a shower.” The redhead says before grabbing the CEO’s coat and purse. “No arguments, Luthor. I’m hungry and could use the company. Let’s go.”

Knowing any protest is futile, she relents. Leaning over the rail on the bed, she places a soft kiss on Kara’s cheek. “Please come back to me, Darling. I can’t lose you, not like this. The past ten months have been the worst of my life. Please, Kara. I won’t survive.”

The women pause at the door, eyes fixed on the eerily still superhero. Both of them take a deep breath before making their way down the hallway and into the parking garage. As much as Lena wants to be in that room with Kara, she knows Alex is right. She needs to eat and rest. A little sleep and a change of clothes then maybe she can get to work with Alex and figure out why Supergirl won’t wake up. 

After the two women eat dinner, they talk through the things the DEO has already tried, going over what went wrong and other theories about what to do next. They end up spending almost two hours talking, it’s strictly about Kara and how to fix things. Lena has no desire to dive into the emotions and betrayal of what happened nearly a year ago. There will be time for that later, if she decides she wants to fix things.

It isn’t something she has given a lot of thought to before Alex called about Kara. Being thrust into this situation and into close proximity to one of the very people who lied to her for years wasn’t on her bingo card, but here she is. Lena’s life has never been easy or ordinary so she’s not sure why she expects anything different now. Life on hard mode is apparently the Luthor way. For smart folks, the Luthors sure make some really stupid choices.  

Her thoughts are halted when something touches her. Apparently Alex reached across the table while she was lost in her head. The touch to her forearm jolts her back to the present and the conversation she is supposed to be party to. Evidently she missed something the agent said. “I’m sorry, Alex. What did you say?”

”I said I think we might need to revisit some of the things we’ve already tried. Now that you’re around, you may see something we missed. You have a better mind for this type of thing.” The redhead sighs, her now empty plate pushed to the side. “I’m really scared, Lena. You know I won’t give up until we get Kara back, but I’m genuinely scared. It’s never taken this long to wake her up from something. It’s killing me that we can’t figure this out.”

The look of utter devastation and terror on Alex’s face hits Lena hard. She’s never seen the stoic woman look so beaten down and childlike. It’s unnerving and makes her own fears start creeping up her spine again. “I’m scared too, Alex. I’ve been sick, physically ill since you called me. The last words I said to your sister were so cruel. Knowing how badly I hurt her with what I said, it’s killing me. She has to wake up, we have to get her back. She can’t leave, not like this. Especially not with what I said to her, Alex. She can’t.”

They both stare at the table between them. Each lost in their own thoughts on how to get the hero to wake up from the coma. She’s been like this for a little over a month now. The fact Alex is so scared increases her own worry tenfold. Alex Danvers has always been the last one to lose hope when it comes to her sister. Seeing her fear, this is new territory and Lena isn’t sure what to do or how to navigate it. 

The silence drags on for a while, neither of them seeming to notice or want to break it. It isn’t until the server stops by their table to ask if they need anything else that either of them realize they were lost in their own heads again. The server politely looks at them awaiting an answer before Lena finally speaks.

“Oh, no thanks. We’re good. I believe we are ready for the check.” The CEO kindly smiles at the young man before he nods and walks away. “I definitely need sleep, I feel like I have spent more time inside my own head during dinner than in our actual conversation. Sorry about that.” They both laugh and shrug.

“No reason to apologize about it. Honestly, I’ve been doing the same. We’ve both been burning the candle at both ends. I think a little time away from the DEO is warranted.” Alex gives her a half-smile and a half-shrug. “My heart and soul need some time with Kelly, too. It feels like I’ve been neglecting her. She understands, she always does, but I think I need it.”

Lena nods, her mind drifting into memories of being at her apartment with Kara before shaking herself out of it and back to Alex. “For sure, spend some time with Kelly. We can regroup in a few days.” 

The server reappears with their check, Lena signing the receipt before they both grab their things and go their separate ways. Alex heads home to Kelly and Lena back to her penthouse alone. Such as her life has been without Kara. Empty and alone. 

Read the rest here. The first 6 chapters are up, the remaining chapters will be posted as I finish editing. Hope you enjoy!

[fazedlight]

“KARA!” Lena screamed. I killed her, Lena grieved.

She didn’t have time to linger as Eve attacked her again, Lena throwing one last punch before she found herself scrambling out of her jet. The explosion killed her, Lena’s mind shouted, thrashing in agony, a litany of damnation that she should never have brought Kara to Kaznia in the first place. It’s all my fault.

But to her astonishment, in the dark, a figure shifted ahead - blonde and burning and bright, and Lena thought for half a second to run back for the fire extinguisher, that Kara might be saved.

But as the figure turned, somehow unaffected by the flames that adorned her like a god, Lena halted. Kara looked concerned, confused. But she didn’t look injured.

Lena’s eyes drifted lower, to the bright S now etched on Kara’s chest, solid blue emerging amidst her burnt clothing. “Kara…”

“Lena,” Kara breathed, reluctance written on her face.

Lena hesitated a moment longer, before taking step after careful step, approaching the reporter as the embers continued to burn across her body. Lena’s hand drifted to the top of the suit’s crest, just below Kara’s neck, where yellow met red. Oh.

It was too much - the whiplash of the explosion, thinking that Lena had carelessly killed her best friend, to realizing that the reporter had once thrown that’s not a great question for a Luthor to ask someone in my family back in her face.

Kara Danvers was her best friend. Did she ever really exist?

“Lena…” Kara whispered again.

Lena dropped her hand, her eyes raised to Kara’s, looking her over again. “Don’t,” she said. Without another word, Lena turned on her heel, and went back to her jet.

-----------

The flight back from Kaznia was longer alone.

Plenty of time for Lena to fume and grieve, for her to rage internally at weathering yet another deceit. Kara Danvers - or whatever the hell she was really called - had used her, betrayed her, spied on her. 

Somewhere in the back of Lena’s mind, there was a different acknowledgment - that her glide ratio in her custom-designed jet was good, but not good enough to reach the Kaznian runway when the engines had failed. That her assumption at the time that mountain updrafts had saved her ran contrary to the now-more-obvious explanation - that the kryptonian had saved her from aviation incidents three times now. 

Lena looked out the side of the window, where dawn was slowly rising. She desperately needed sleep, but was too wired from watching her best friend be blown up - and then revealed to be a traitor - and sleep was just… not going to happen. 

Lena could swear that she was seeing glints of red and blue, just behind her plane, a kryptonian possibly trying to stay out of sight while still being protective. It was infuriating.

-----------

It’s not Kara, Lena’s mind begged, trying to convince herself that the dead kryptonian was the clone she had learned about in Kaznia. It can’t be Kara.

It was with overwhelming horror that Lena watched the footage of Kaznia’s failed invasion, her brother parading around a dead kryptonian in his lexosuit arms, the supposed traitor Supergirl. 

He was a hero. For killing her. It can't be Kara. It can’t it can’t it can’t-

Trying to still her trembling fingers, Lena picked up her phone, trying to figure out what to text, what to say, anything to get a response from the kryptonian that she had shut out. Operating out of instinct more than logic, she pressed Kara’s name to start a call instead, holding it up to her ear, her stomach twisting with nausea.

But luckily, it only took one ring before Lena heard a familiar voice on the other end. “Lena,” Kara said softly

Lena pulled the phone away, and hung up.

-----------

There was no other choice in her mind. Not when Lex had regained legitimacy in the eyes of the country by “saving” it from Supergirl’s attack. Not when Lex sought to commit a secret genocide to solve the energy crisis and be named a hero. Not when Lena was the only person who would know where Lex would go.

Not when all Lena could see was Lex cradling Red Daughter in his arms.

The image was burned into her mind, and all Lena knew was that Kara was next - Lex would not rest until every kryptonian was gone. And Kara would be too kind and noble to seek anything but legal justice. But that wasn’t Lena - it wasn’t Lena when she decided to kill Morgan Edge, it wasn’t Lena when she decided to kidnap her mother from prison and poison her, it wasn’t Lena when she tucked her gun in her belt that morning.

A single bullet to the head, and Lex was gone.

-----------

Kara’s door opened just a few seconds before Lena reached it. Lena supposed Kara could hear her down the hall.

Lena ignored the shock and concern on Kara’s face as she stepped inside, making her way to Kara’s window as Kara closed the door. Truth was, she still couldn’t face Kara at all.

“I’m sorry, Lena,” Kara started. “I tried to save-”

“Don’t,” Lena said.

Kara grew quiet, flanking Lena’s side, joining her as Lena stared out onto the streets below. Lena shifted. “I thought she was you,” Lena said. “When Lex killed her, I thought she was you.”

She could feel Kara shrink, uncertain of what to say, of how to move forward. And maybe Lena didn’t know either. But she could try. If… “Is Kara real?” Lena asked, her voice cracking. “Or just a mask?”

“I’m real,” Kara whispered, prompting Lena to finally turn. And Lena couldn’t help herself, seeking the warmth of Kara’s arms, the kryptonian all too happy to wrap Lena in a tight hug as Lena stepped into it. “I… sometimes I feel more real with you than anyone else.”

Lena swallowed harshly, burying her face into Kara’s shoulder, holding back a tremble. “I want to believe you.”

“I’ll spend a lifetime trying to prove it,” Kara whispered. “If you’ll let me.”

Lena took a slow, trembling breath. “Okay.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

Idea taken from a tweet I saw floating around. If you're interested in a longer season 4 reveal, I also wrote No One and Nothing.

[tortillamastersblog]

♕ No Matter What - Part 2 | Lena Luthor ♕

Pairing: Lena Luthor x reader

Warnings: none

Summary: Working as Lena’s bodyguard turns out to be more boring than anticipated. Yes, there have been several attempts on her life right before you were hired, but since then… nothing.

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist

________________________________________________

It’s been three weeks and the only words spoken between Lena and I since I started have been anything but personal.

I get to her apartment in the morning to accompany her to the office, then sit around outside her office, sharing light conversations with Jess every now and then before following her into a high end restaurant for lunch where she meets her best friend Kara Danvers, or some business partners.

After lunch it’s back to the office until dinner, which she usually orders in.

It’s only in the late hours of the night that she finally decides to go home. I obviously accompany her all the way until she’s at her front door where she bids me a polite goodnight before shutting the door in my face.

The next day is the same, and so is the one after that. It’s like clockwork. Until it’s not.

I’m running exceptionally late today because the electricity in my apartment building shorted out in the middle of the night, effectively resetting my alarm clock and deleting the alarm I set for this morning.

In a haste I pulled on some clothes, brushed my teeth and fixed my hair, leaving no time for breakfast.

I rushed out of the door and downstairs, struggling with the lock of my bike for a second before jumping on and pedaling as though my life depended on it.

Now, fifteen minutes late, sweaty and breathing heavily, I get to Lena’s apartment building. I rush inside and shove my bike into the janitors closet, ignoring Ann’s laugh behind the reception desk.

I’m just about to call for the elevator when it dings and the doors open to reveal an annoyed looking Lena Luthor.

“You’re late,” she states, moving to brush past me, but then she notices the state I’m in. “Why do you look like that? Did you run here or something?”

I wipe a droplet of sweat off my forehead and grimace. “I biked, actually…” The unimpressed raise of an eyebrow I receive has me quickly adding, “But that’s not important. I’m so sorry for being late, Ms. Luthor. It won’t happen again.”

Lena’s eyes rake over me once more, only this time she seems more curious than scrutinizing.

“It better not,” she quips and for a moment I can’t believe that she’s actually joking.

I follow her outside and open the backdoor of the waiting car. She slips inside and I follow after her, signaling for the driver to go once we’re both buckled in.

The ride is uneventful, so is the trek from the car to her office. However when she stops in front of Jess’s desk instead of walking into her office, I almost run into her.

‘Ms. Luthor, what—?”

“Jess,” Lena says, ignoring my surprised exclaim. “Could you please grab Y/N a new shirt from the lab storage room? Something a little less sweaty?”.

Oh my God…

If I died right now I honestly wouldn’t care. Anything would be better than this.

Jess hurries off immediately, leaving Lena and I to our own devices.

I don’t dare to meet her eyes, but then she laughs softly and I look up to find her smiling at me.

It’s the first ever genuine smile she’s directing at me and it makes my stomach flip.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It just shows that you actually care about your job,” she says and it’s almost enough to assuage my embarrassment if it weren’t for my stomach growling the next second.

Please, just kill me.

Instead of making a big deal out of it, Lena just crosses her arms with an amused smile and says, “How about some breakfast?”

I’m about to decline, but then my stomach growls again and I agree with a shy nod. “Yes, please.”

We enter her office and she asks me to take a seat on the couch while she rearranges some of her meetings to accommodate for the turn of events.

“Ms. Luthor, you really don’t have to do this, I know you’re busy and—“

Lena raises her hand, effectively shutting me up. “Nonsenses. I want to do this. I want to get to know you better,” she hits return on her keyboard, presumably sending off an email to her staff entailing the details of the change of plans and gets up to join me on the couch.

I frown and bite my tongue to prevent myself from asking but why now?

She hasn’t made any effort to get to know me these last couple of weeks. What’s changed?

First the teasing earlier and now this impromptu breakfast.

“Fine,” I say, a little impatient but Lena doesn’t seem to notice, or she just doesn’t care. “What would you like to know? I feel like there’s hardly anything you don’t already know after reading my resume and the extensive background check your security team did on me.”

Lena’s eyes widen for a split second before she recomposes herself. She shifts in her seat and nervously straightens out her blouse. “Actually, I never took a look at any of that.”

My eyebrows shoot up. “What? But then who—?”

The question dies on the tip of my tongue when Lena meets my eyes with a sheepish smile. “Sam took care of everything.”

Ah, that explains why she hasn’t asked about the honorable discharge. She doesn’t know.

I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel relieved or offended. Relieved because it means I don’t have to talk about what happened, or offended because I know almost every little detail about her by now and she doesn’t even know where I worked before agreeing to this position.

For instance, I know that she’s an excellent chess player, she hates Salmon, she takes her coffee black, she doesn’t like tequila, and she’s not one to shy away from a glazed donut every now and then.

“I only really know your name,” Lena continues with a hint of regret in her voice, “which is a shame because you’ve proven yourself to be competent and discreet.”

The corner’s of my lips twitch involuntarily at that last part because I know she’s referring to the time last week I walked in on her doing a dorky victory dance when she managed to solve an equation on her whiteboard.

She’d gone pale when she realized I was there, but I just acknowledged her with a nod and set down the coffee she’d asked for before leaving the office again, not losing a word to anyone about what I’d witnessed.

“Well, alright then,” I say, the tension melting away. “Ask away.”

Lena perks up and clasps her hands together in her lap. “When’s your birthday?”

“November 12, 1990,” I reply easily. “Almost three years older than you.”

“You know my birthday?”

I shrug. “It was in Sam’s briefing on you.”

Lena looks surprised and slightly alarmed. “What else did she tell you?”

“Not much,” I admit with a small smile. “Just the basics like your birthday, where you went to school, and your favorite restaurants.”

Lena visibly relaxes and gets right back to questioning me. “Good, so what did you do before accepting this position? Sam briefly mentioned you were in the Army, but that’s about it.”

There it is. I don’t want to get into this too much, so I recite the answers I’ve been practicing ever since it occurred to me that she would want to know why I’m no longer serving. “I was, yes, but before Sam approached me about this job I was living off some savings and a the little money I made teaching self-defense classes.”

Savings… more like separation pay that followed my honorable discharge.

It’s so ironic that it’s called an honorable discharge when I feel like I was anything but that in the moment it counted the most.

“Really, that sounds interesting,” Lena says, bringing me back to reality. I’m glad she doesn’t ask any follow up questions, but then she continues and my stomach drops. “And what about siblings? A sister maybe? Or a brother? I’m sure you know all about my brother.”

She laughs self-deprecatingly, not realizing I’ve frozen in my seat.

“No. No siblings,” I croak which seems to get her attention. Her brows furrow in concern and she opens her mouth to say something, but in that moment Jess returns with a black shirt in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other.

I jump to my feet, glad about the interruption and take the shirt from Jess. “Thanks, Jess.”

“No worries,” she chimes, obviously not picking up on the vibe in the room. “Here you go, Ms. Luthor. Two French Toasts and a Pain au chocolat.”

Lena gets off the couch as well and takes the paper bag and it’s only then that I notice the sweet smell it’s emitting.

“I’m gonna go change.” I hold up the shirt for reference and don’t indulge Lena when she sends me a pitiful look. Of course she knows that something is up after the way I just reacted to her question.

I leave quickly and find a bathroom to change in. My shirt is no longer soaked in sweat, but I know it will start smelling over the course of the day, so I change into the new shirt.

It’s a bit small around my shoulders and strains around my arms but it’ll have to do. I exit the stall and splash some water on my face by the sink.

When I look up and meet my own eyes in the mirror I scoff.

Coward.

The white L-Corp logo over my chest reminds me where I am and I banish any thoughts of Noah from my mind. I grab a paper towel and wipe my face before practicing an unbothered smile in the mirror.

After a couple of tries I manage one that even convinces myself and return to Lena’s office.

She’s taken the food out of the paper bag and placed it on some napkins on the coffee table. She’s also managed to organize some coffee which is steaming in two mugs next to the food.

“So, French toast, huh?” I say lightheartedly which causes Lena’s head to snap up.

She eyes me curiously for a second (her eyes momentarily darting to where the shirt is cutting into my biceps) but when she can’t find any traces of my emotional turmoil she takes a seat on the couch and reaches for her coffee.

“Yes, it’s from my favorite breakfast place down the block. I hope you like it.” She sounds just the tiniest bit self conscious which makes me melt a little on the inside, so I take a seat next to her and pick up one of the sugary treats.

I take a bite and hum in delight. “This is great!” I take another bite before swallowing the first and groan. “Wow. I can’t remember the last time I ate something like this.”

When I look up Lena’s watching me over the rim of her mug, hiding a satisfied smile. The awkwardness and tension from ealier has vanished completely and for the first time I think I catch a glimpse of the friend Sam has described Lena to be.

She is a cutthroat business woman, yes, but it seems underneath the tough exterior she’s just like everyone else, proud when the food she got to pick is to someone’s liking.

I take another bite, and another, and another until the French toast is gone and the only traces of its previous existence are the powdered sugar on my hands and the maple syrup around my lips.

I wipe my hands on a spare napkin and take a sip of coffee before getting rid of the maple syrup with the same napkin.

Lena’s only on her second bite when I look her way, but I honestly couldn’t care less about how I just inhaled that treat. I was starving and like I said, it’s been a long time since I’ve eaten something as good as this.

“So,” Lena starts, gracefully setting down her half-eaten toast, “How’d you meet Sam?”

I laugh and sit back, trying not to eye the Pain au chocolat too obviously. “We grew up together. She was living down the block and when her mom kicked her out when she got pregnant we took her in.”

Lena’s eyes widen. “Really? She never told me about that.“ She ponders over the new information for a moment while my eyes dart back and forth between her and the Pain au chocolat. “So that’s why she’s so protective of you.”

I don’t know what exactly she referring to, but I know what she’s talking about. Sam’s always been like that, defending me whenever she deemed it necessary while I’ve always been there for her and Ruby.

“I guess,” I say with a chuckle. “She’s like a sister to me.”

Lena smiles at that, her eyes twinkling with something I can’t quite place as she leans forward to pick up her toast again. “I can see that,” she says, taking a bite. When my eyes drop to the Pain au chocolat once again she notices and smirks.

“Go ahead,” she mumbles around her mouthful of food, gesturing at the pastry with a jut of her chin. “Take it.”

I beam and reach for it, ready to devour it in a few large bites, but then I think better of it. I pick it up and rip it in half as best as I can, taking one half while putting the other back on the napkin and sliding it in front of Lena.

“There, now it’s fair.”

Lena’s eyes widen slightly and she swallows thickly before taking a big sip of coffee to hide tinge of red that’s made its way to her cheeks.

Maybe this year won’t be so bad after all.

________________________________________________

Welp. This story is shaping up to be longer than anticipated…

[rebeliz7]

MY WIFE

Kara Danvers x Reader

Prompt: “How could you do this to me?” “I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”

Word Count: 1700

…

You know something is different from the moment you walk inside your apartment. Nothing is out of place, and everything looks exactly how you left it when you went to work in the morning, but still, something is different and you can feel it. 

You close the front door with a soft click and place your coat and purse on the rack, your shoes in the closet and your keys in the bowl. 

The silence is unnerving, it’s not a normal silence, it’s an eerie silence. These walls seem to vibrate with an unspoken secret. 

The glass of red wine on your kitchen counter is the first thing you notice. There’s red lipstick smeared on the edge, you recognize the shade but the dots stand too far apart for you to connect them just yet. 

It’s almost eight o’clock, and you’re supposed to be attending a conference via Skype with the head of Engineering in Tokyo, but he canceled at the last minute because of a family emergency and you couldn’t wait to get home. 

You aren’t supposed to be at home, you aren’t supposed to see whatever it is that this eerie silence is hiding. 

A heavy and uncomfortable weight settles in the pit of your stomach, with each step that you take down the hallway, towards your bedroom. 

The second thing you notice is the bedroom door being closed, and the dots begin to move slowly towards each other, as if they’re magnets and you’re taking too long to figure them out. 

When your mind finally puts them together, you come to a stop at the same time that your stomach drops, your body aches. 

The red lipstick, the door and the soft glowing red light that’s coming from underneath the door---the eerie silence. 

You know what you’ll see when you push this door open, and a part of you wants to turn around and pretend this isn’t real. 

The other part of you knows that there’s no going back, even if ignorance is bliss. 

You turn the knob and push the door open.

The red light blinds you for a second, and another wave of pain hits you right in the pit of your stomach. You developed the red light bulbs because you’re married to a kryptonian, and the bulbs act as a suppressant for sunlight, a suppressant for her inhuman strength.

Your sister in law helped you carve the idea, but your best friend was key in making them work. 

Your best friend. 

Looking at her now you completely understand her eagerness in helping you out back then. 

The thing about finding your spouse in bed with someone else, is that it becomes an out of body kind of experience. It’s not something that you ever expect to have to see, and your mind struggles to fully accept what your eyes are witnessing. 

Finding your wife making love to your best friend and boss, it’s just devastatingly life altering. 

They’re not fucking, they’re making love in a way that it’s particularly heartbreaking for you, because Kara is just as delicate when she touches you. 

How ironic, you think, it is that without the red lights, Kara would have been able to notice you minutes ago. 

You lean against the doorframe, your body feeling heavy and like it doesn’t belong to you. A headache is coming, your head is spinning and the pain that takes root in your chest reminds you of the car accident you were in when you were fourteen. 

The emotional pain transcends to become something real. They might as well have carved open your skin with a scalpel, taken out your heart with their bare hands and let you bleed to death, and the pain would be exactly the same. 

They haven’t noticed you, and you wait because you don’t know what to do. 

What do you say in a situation like this? What do you do? Experience has only taught you so much. 

You’ve been cheated on before, you told your wife the story about your girlfriend in college, and how you found her having sex with a cheerleader in your dorm room a few weeks before the semester was over. 

She knows how you feel about cheating. 

Lena knows too, of course, being your best friend she knows most of your inner thoughts, things that you can’t talk to your wife about, things that you trusted her with.

They knew you’ve been cheated on in the past, and they still did this to you. 

You take a deep breath, just as Lena moans out your wife’s name, and you turn on the regular lights in your bedroom. 

Whatever numbness you were feeling is broken by Lena’s throaty moan. You’re not willing to hear more of that. 

Your wife is the first one to react, jumping out of the bed in a rush, wide eyes staring at you with fear and shock, and completely nude. 

You don’t want to notice the little details, but you still do. You take notice of Kara’s red raw lips, abused from so much kissing. Her blond hair is a messy mane, from Lena’s desperate pulls. 

And Lena, who takes a second to comprehend what is going on before she has the mind to close her legs and pull a white satin sheet to cover her naked body. There are angry marks on her neck, from where your wife’s lips must have sucked till it bruised.

Swallowing with difficulty, you look away, feeling sick to your stomach. 

You’re a stranger in this life, you don’t belong in this narrative. 

Your legs shake when you move, so you walk slowly, directly to your closet. You grab a suitcase, and that sparks a cascade of reactions. 

“What are you doing?” Kara asks you in a rush, as she runs to your side. “What are you doing?” She asks again, when you meet her eyes. 

You look at her for a fleeting moment, but you quickly discover that her panic is only making you angry. 

She has no right. 

Setting the suitcase on the mattress, you go around the bedroom, picking up what you deem necessary. You don’t plan on taking much, only what you need until you’re back on your feet. 

You notice Lena being petrified on your bed, sheet clutching against her chest as she observes you. 

“Please, stop. Please.” Kara begs, as she follows you back and forth, back and forth. You don’t stop packing. 

“Please, just stop.” You eye the bedroom quickly, deciding you’ll buy whatever else, when Kara stands in front of you.

She’s thrown some pants on and a top, but Lena still hasn’t moved. 

“This means nothing!” Kara screams, making you take another pause. 

Your eyes flash towards Lena out of instinct, and you catch the exact moment the words hit her. She flinches, seems to shrink a couple of inches and even tears begin to roll down her cheeks. 

Her pain doesn’t make you feel any better. 

It’s clear that promises were made, conversations where you were supposed to leave the picture were held. 

You try to advance towards the bedroom door, but Kara blocks your way. 

“No, don’t leave. Please, don’t leave. Lena will go.” Kara rushes in. “Lena, leave!”

Lena flinches one more time, but she manages to pull herself back together quickly too. 

“Immediately.” She says as she throws the sheet aside and stands from your bed. 

This isn’t new. The way she moves around your bedroom is familiar, as if she’s been here a thousand times before today.

“You should stay. Work things out.” She tells you, as if she’s still your friend and her words aren’t liquid poison now. 

“¡Out!” Kara tells her harshly but you don’t wait to see her getting dressed, you just take the suitcase and leave the room. 

Kara follows you, rushes to block your path in the hallway again. 

“Please, don’t leave. Don’t leave.” She begs, anguish washing over her features. 

You see her pain, but you also don’t recognize the person standing before you anymore. 

“¡She means nothing!” Kara exclaims, desperate to convince you. “I have no feelings for her. This was just sex. Nothing more and I am so, so sorry baby. Please. I love you. You’re my… my wife, please.” 

Your heart breaks at hearing her words, mostly because you never thought of her as someone who could hurt you. Not even when you knew that she had the power of the sun in her bare hands, you always trusted her.

“Your wife.” You utter the words in a whisper, weighting them on your tongue and tasting only despair. 

“I love you.” She fiercely tells you. “I love you, and I won’t ever, ever leave you. Please.”

When she tries to touch you, you back away from her slowly. 

They say that every person has a breaking point, a switching moment, a flicker of time when they change. This must be that moment for you, because you know that this is the biggest pain you’ll ever get to feel. 

This betrayal is your defining moment. 

“Please.”

“I trusted you.” You tell her, refusing to acknowledge her pain no more. You hoped that you’d grow old together. 

You’re almost at the door when Lena walks out of your bedroom, clad in a blue tight dress and stilettos. 

She’s gorgeous, always has been. 

When she’s close enough and both of them are standing next to each other, they become complete strangers to you. 

They represent your life in two different ways, but your life altogether. 

“Please, stay.” You tell Lena, your hand slightly raised, and tears spring from her eyes again. You put on your shoes, and pick up your coat and purse. 

“No, she’s leaving.” Kara says. “Leave, Lena.”

“I’m so sorry.” Lena tells you, and you shake your head. 

“How could you two do this to me?” You ask them but you don’t wait for their answer, as you open the door and walk out without your keys.

This won’t be the last time that you see them, Lena is still your boss, and Kara is still your wife. 

You knew something was different when you got home, you just didn't know you were about to lose everything though. 

… 

[pippytmi]

spy!au + meet messy + you never saw me ? If not that's fine, I just thought it would be cool. :)

spy!au + meet messy + you never saw me 

“So on a scale of 1-10, how much do we hate the fiancée?”

A wry laugh escapes before Kara can even try to quell it, and she briefly removes the unlit cigarette from her mouth to muse, “You know, I've heard a saying that goes ‘never judge a book by its cover.’ Fascinating stuff, I might have to send it to you.”

“Ugh. Journalists—so idealistic.” But Nia is grinning as she snags the barstool at Kara's right. “Where is the elusive Lena Luthor anyway? Do we finally get to meet her?”

Kara shrugs. “Beats me,” she says. “Last I heard, she was running late.”

“Late to her own engagement party? Finally, someone I can get along with,” Nia says. Before Kara can even get a word in, Nia's attention is immediately stolen by the bartender coming over. “Hey M’gann, can I get an amaretto sour?”

“Sure thing,” M’gann says absentmindedly, her gaze otherwise zeroing in firmly on Kara. “Danvers, you better not smoke in my bar.”

“I won't,” Kara swears, raising both hands in a show of innocence, and M'gann rolls her eyes.

“Journalists,” she echoes Nia's earlier sentiment, but with an entirely exasperated deeper meaning. “I'm putting Nia's drink on your tab.”

“Well in that case…” Nia twists around, already waving her hand as if to beckon someone over. “Make it two, Kara's buying a drink for the bride to be. Alex! Don't—I know you can see me, come here.”

For as much as Alex stressed the importance of everyone showing up tonight, she doesn't seem very…well, happy. And while Alex is not typically one to gush, Kara had expected at least a smidgen of joy on her sister's face, not the harried expression she's currently sporting.

“What?” Alex asks, eyes them both suspiciously while fidgeting as if she’d rather be anywhere else.

“Um, hello to you too,” Nia says. “Clearly, you need this. Where's your soon-to-be better half?”

Alex accepts the drink when Nia presses it in her hand but frowns, however slight, at the question. “She's—on her way,” she says, pausing to take a sip from her glass before her gaze falls on her sister. “Oh, gross, Kara. Since when do you smoke?”

“I don’t!” Kara pouts, feeling like a broken record. “Can’t I be edgy and have a cigarette to look cool?”

“That’s the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Nia says, delighted, while Alex just groans.

“Come on, Kara, not tonight. Just be normal for once in your life,” Alex sighs, already distractedly glancing back to the front door like she is willing her fiancée to just walk through any second.

“You guys don’t understand the intricacies of being a method actor,” Kara argues, waving her cigarette in the air to make her point. (And also, because it is kind of awkward to keep it in her mouth without doing anything with it, not that she’ll admit that). But it’s clear she only has half the audience she had a second ago; Alex is half a world away the second her phone starts to ring.

“I’ll be back,” Alex says, handing off her glass to Nia who is more than happy to finish it.

Kara dejectedly puts the cigarette back in her mouth. “I just realized something.”

“What?”

“I don’t actually know how to smoke. What if someone expects me to, like, smoke with them?”

Nia presses a fingertip to her chin and  ponders the question seriously. “Either you're screwed, or they will just think you're a dork. The reaction will depend on the person, really.”

Kara's shoulders slump. “So I won't be cool?”

“Journalists generally aren't cool,” Nia unhelpfully offers. “But I'm sure you could make it work for you. You'd be like…one of those grizzly story-seeking sleuth journalists.”

Kara groans, thumping her forehead on the bartop. “That seems more like a private investigator thing,” she says. “Darn it. I'm going to have to start from scratch.”

“I'm all in favor of quitting method acting for one night,” M'gann chimes in, still eyeing Kara's cigarette distastefully. “Now do you need a refill or are you going to fall asleep here?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kara says, lifting her head in order to sheepishly push her emptied club soda over. “Pour me a double.”

That joke never lands—M'gann just rolls her eyes and refills the glass, wiping her hands off before moving down to another patron. Nia scoots her stool closer to Kara once she's gone to reassuringly say,

“I like the pretentious cigarette. It makes you look like a hipster…they’re coming back into fashion, you know. Just like leg warmers.”

Kara wrinkles her nose. “I don’t think anyone really liked leg warmers.”

“That’s how I know you were unfashionable in high school,” Nia says. Then, apparently already bored with the topic at hand, she turns around in search of their former company. “Hey, where did Alex go? I haven’t even bought her a round of shots yet!”

“That’s a good question,” Kara says thoughtfully. “Maybe Lena showed up?” But when she swivels her chair to aid Nia’s search, she can't spot her sister either; considering Al’s Bar is a hole in the wall with not many patrons, that can only mean Alex has stepped out. “I'll go find her.”

All things considered, the night is pleasant—when Kara emerges without her jacket, the air isn't quite cool enough to make her go back in to retrieve it. She walks around the corner to the alley where everyone goes to smoke, but Alex isn’t there. Alex is also not in the 7-11 across the street, nor is she two doors down at the diner. (Kara orders a donut to go just to be 100% sure Alex won’t emerge from somewhere inside, of course, like a diligent sister).

Eventually, her pointless search leads her right back to Al’s. Nia has apparently had enough alcohol to drag Kelly to dance; Winn and James have begun a spirited game of pool; Querl has commandeered the jukebox and is studiously adding 80’s dance music to the queue. Alex, however, is still notably missing.

With a groan, Kara collapses at the bar again. “Can I get a water, M’gann?”

“You got it,” M’gann says, filling a fresh glass from the tap. She moves on immediately after to another customer, and Kara’s question about whether M’gann has seen Alex dies before it even forms. Kara sighs, takes a much-needed sip of her water, and resolves to just melt into her stool when all of a sudden she hears:

“Is this seat taken?”

It should be noted that, in the past, Kara has encountered situations far worse than this one. Moments where her life was in danger, even. She likes to think she has mastered the ability to remain unfazed in the face of the worst surprises at this point of her career.

But then again…she’s never actually met her sister’s fiancée before. And in a truly horrific turn of events, Kara ends up spit-taking all over her shoes.

“Oh crap, I am so sorry,” Kara says, making a mad grab for napkins off the bar and crouching down to pat at Lena’s heels. “Are you—okay, can I get, er, anything—” She doesn't even know how to apologize at this point, so tongue-tied she is just about to offer her own shoes off her feet.

Lena Luthor doesn't answer right away. She takes a delicate step down, and her hand covers Kara's in order to make her pause. When Kara musters the nerve to cautiously meet her eye, Lena gives her a small smile.

“It's fine.” Lena looks much more <i>vivid</i> than the photographs. Everything about her is sharp; the angles of her jaw, the eyeliner she wears, the intensity of her green eyes when they're trained on Kara. Even her voice edges on the sharper side, not quite cold but almost. “Kara, right? I recognize you from Alex's pictures.”

Kara barely remembers to nod. “Yes, I…recognize you too,” she says. “It's nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Lena draws her hand away immediately after, and Kara hastily rises up in order to put some space between them.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Kara asks quickly. “M'gann makes a great…sour.” She cannot for the life of her remember what it is that Nia ordered, and from the strange look on Lena’s face, she has 100% gotten the name wrong. “I don’t really drink.”

Somehow, that awkward confession makes Lena’s face twist, like she is trying not to smile. “Alex mentioned you’re sober,” she says. “I hope it’s alright, that she did.”

“No, yeah, it’s not a secret,” Kara says, but in her mind she’s thinking Alex and Lena talk about her? About what? Hopefully not embarrassing stuff. Shoot, knowing Alex, it’s 100% embarrassing stuff. “And I wouldn’t expect you to have any secrets with Alex either way, so.”

“Right.” Lena takes a careful seat besides Kara, her expression since gone entirely blank. She orders a scotch, Kara sticks to water, and they immediately maintain an awkward silence that M'gann raises a judgmental eyebrow at Kara for.

Kara clears her throat, desperate for any attempt of making nice she can muster. “So have you seen Alex?” she says.

“Today?” Lena has her glass raised to her lips, but she doesn't drink. “Not yet.”

“Oh. Well, I'm sure she's around here somewhere,” Kara says, and tries not to find it weird that Lena and Alex did not see each other at all today despite apparently living together.

This time Lena takes a long, thoughtful sip of her drink, and she turns her head to regard Kara silently. “Kara,” she says, as if testing the name all-too-carefully, practiced and halting like she wants to call Kara literally anything else. “Would it be a fair assessment to assume you don't like me?”

Kara’s grip on her glass falters in a single blink-or-miss-it second before she manages to control her surprise. “What?” she says weakly. “I know we don’t know each other, but, if Alex likes you of course I like you.” Flustered, she backtracks to say, “I mean Alex loves you. Obviously.”

Lena doesn’t put Kara out of her misery. At least, not right away. No, she just smooths out the imaginary wrinkles of her form-fitting dress that she has chosen to wear to this dive bar, drums her fingertips against the sticky wood of the bar counter, and gazes pensively beyond her company in a way that can only be described as lost. Then,

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t meant to be an accusation,” Lena says. “What I meant is, I'm sure you must despise the idea of me.” An attempt at a smile crosses Lena’s lips, but it’s a sad one. “Today was mostly about putting your mind at ease over any misconceptions you might have.”

“Well, I’ve only known about you for like a week, but I can honestly say I have zero thoughts about you,” Kara says quickly. Then frowns. “Wait. That was supposed to sound reassuring. Can I start over?”

The engagement ring on Lena’s finger shimmers even in the poor lighting, and she rests her cheek against her palm, gazing at Kara with a curious, half-amused kind of look in her eyes. “The floor’s yours.”

“I’m not the kind of person who assumes the worst about other people,” Kara says, reaching for her water again, if only to tip it towards Lena reassuringly before taking a quick sip. “And if you make Alex happy, then I can only assume you’re a good person. Also, you might be a saint to even put up with her.”

Lena’s mouth twists into a proper smile, however small. “The way you two talk about each other is so…” She shakes her head as if she can’t quite finish that thought. “You two are clearly very close.”

“Unfortunately, yeah, I'm stuck with her,” Kara quips, and that at least feels normal—talking about Alex is a safe topic. Even if she hasn’t bothered to come back to her own engagement party. “Do you have any siblings?”

“A brother.” Any semblance of a smile vanishes entirely at that, and Lena hastily finishes the remainder of her drink.

Kara gets the feeling she has said something horribly wrong. “And are you two also…close?” she finishes her train of thought awkwardly, even if she already knows the answer.

“No.” The stony way Lena clenches her jaw suggests that Kara isn't winning any brownie points, here, and she has to bite her tongue to stop from pushing on. “Excuse me, can I get another?” Lena beckons M’gann over when she has a second, and M’gann gives Kara another questioning look but doesn’t say anything to her directly.

“I’m sorry,” Kara feels the need to say. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“Oddly enough, I believe you,” Lena muses. “You did mention your sister has hardly talked about me.”

“I'm sure she would've,” Kara tries to reassure her. “I just don't see her too much nowadays, with my work.”

“Mm. You’re a journalist, right?” Lena asks, and there is something in her gaze that makes Kara feel hot under the collar. “Or was it a kindergarten teacher? I know you and your sister have an affinity for switching careers.” Something about the calculated way she pauses to take a sip of her drink, gaze expectant over the rim, causes Kara's heart to plummet into her stomach.

Kara, in turn, promptly chokes on air. “What? You—you know? About—” She stops. “I’m not sure Alex was allowed to tell you that.”

“Not even if we're going to get married?” Slowly, Lena begins to smile. It's a real smile, one Kara hadn't realized Lena was capable of until now. “Your sister might be the most by-the-book person I've ever met. Unfortunately for her, I was able to connect the dots about you myself.”

“Ah.” Kara drums her fingertips against the bar counter, feels her cheeks warm slightly with embarrassment.

Lena places a hand on Kara's forearm—a warm, gentle heat Kara can feel through the thin sleeve of her T-shirt. “That was no fault of yours,” she says reassuringly. “She slipped up talking about your job. It was fairly easy to connect the dots.”

Somehow, that does nothing to dissolve the dread slowly building up in Kara’s chest. Alex never slips up. Kara is the resident Danvers sister fuck up (Alex’s words exactly), and all at once Alex’s disappearance tonight becomes decidedly unsettling.

“When did she tell you about my job?” Kara blurts out. “Do you remember?”

“Yesterday, I think,” Lena says, and she regards Kara questioningly. “She was telling me about everyone who was going to be here today and what your friends do for work. Why?”

“Was she working? Looking at her computer or her phone or anything?”

“Yes, that’s all she ever does.” But it’s odd, the way Lena says it, like she’s not bothered in the slightest.

It could be nothing. It probably is nothing. But Kara still scans the bar with a renewed vigor in search of that familiar scowl that she cannot find. “She was just here,” Kara mutters aloud. “She wouldn’t have left without telling someone.”

“Alex?” Lena watches Kara carefully, no doubt trying to decide what to say. “Has she not told you if she’s running late?”

“No, she was here already,” Kara says. “I don’t think she would have—” She shakes her head to herself, cursing inwardly. She can’t assume that Alex has been dragged away for a work reason. Maybe it has something to do with Alex getting cold feet. Either way, telling her sister’s fiancée that the woman she’s supposed to marry has abandoned her engagement party doesn’t seem like it would do Alex any favors. “I’m sure she’s just in the bathroom or something. Uh, I’m going to just…” She pulls out her cigarette in a poor cover and says, “Go outside, for a smoke break, if you don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” Lena says. Then, “Would it be alright if I joined you?”

If Nia knew that Kara’s stupid cigarette would have led to this moment, she would laugh her ass off. Repeatedly. Kara supposes it’s a small mercy that Nia is still dancing with Kelly, so she is spared of any and all jokes at her expense.

It’s not until they’re outside that Kara sheepishly confesses: “So full disclosure…I don’t actually smoke.”

Lena doesn't look particularly surprised at the fact. “It's an odd thing to lie about,” she says, and tilts her head, surveying Kara with a sharp look. “Oh,” she says afterward. “I’m sorry. Clearly, you lied to get away from me, and here I am following you around.”

Kara swallows. Hard. “It’s not that,” she says, even though it kind of is. 

“It's okay.” Another touch, this time gently to Kara’s shoulder. Lena has a strange, half-wistful look on her face. “Take your break. I’ll go inside…I should introduce myself to Alex’s friends and keep it convincing.”

That is such a peculiar way to phrase an otherwise normal statement, and Kara feels her brow furrow subconsciously. “What?”

But Lena has turned away by the time Kara even forms the word, and Kara watches, bewildered, as Lena takes two steps forward before immediately whirling back around. There is no other way to describe it, but—Lena has gone sickly pale in the moonlight, as if she’s seen a ghost. Before Kara can ask what’s wrong, Lena has hurriedly bridged the gap between them and grasped Kara’s face with cold, shaking hands.

“Can you turn around?” Lena asks quietly.

Kara does, but she knows her cheeks have gone hot and red by now, so unaccustomed to both the proximity and the specific person before her. “Lena, what’s—”

“I have something very urgent to ask you, and please don’t overthink it,” Lena rushes to say.

“Okay.” Kara tries not to fidget; she has had a gun held to her head several times before and yet, this is the most overwhelmed she has felt in years.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Kara blinks. “What?”

“Please,” Lena adds on, as if that makes the question any saner.

And maybe it’s the desperation in Lena’s voice, in her eyes, in the way she keeps on trembling, but Kara recognizes someone in danger. She doesn’t understand what on Earth is going on, but she slowly nods, and trusts that if Alex kicks her ass later it will be for a good cause.

(Kara is not, however, prepared for Lena to immediately kiss her like she’s starving, hands still tight against Kara’s cheeks, dragging Kara so close that Kara is essentially caging her against the wall). 

It feels like forever, but not in a bad way. Kara hasn't kissed someone in so long that she feels clumsy, almost like she is outside of her own skin, hands falling against the gravel of the bar’s outside walls in order to stop herself from grabbing at the inviting curves of Lena’s waist.

When Lena gently pushes her away, Kara hastily steps back, digging her fingernails into the palms of her hands to keep from doing something dangerous (like reaching back in). Lena looks as if she's calmed down enough at least; she blushes when she meets Kara’s eyes, glancing down at the floor for a brief moment.

“Thank you,” Lena says. “God, if I was recognized out here of all places Alex would have lost it.”

“Recognized?” Kara echoes. She follows the way Lena jerks her head to the right, where the shadow of a man is disappearing into the alleyway. “I…don't follow.”

“That man used to work for my brother,” Lena sighs. “I don’t know if he would have remembered my face, but better safe than sorry.”

Kara opens her mouth, pauses, and then shuts it when she realizes she has no clue what to say. Her phone buzzes in an all-too-welcome distraction, but her blood runs cold when she sees it’s from Alex.

SENTINEL:

Can you tell everyone the party’s cancelled? Lena’s sick. Also let the cat back in before the night’s over.

“Shit,” Kara involuntarily curses when she sees that familiar code phrase. Suddenly everything makes sense: the secrecy, the mysterious brother, the fact that Lena cannot be recognized in the streets outside of a dive bar used as a front for the average spy (or average drunk that security allows in for the cover). “Lena, are you in witness protection?”

Lena squints at Kara like she is the one dropping a bombshell. “Yes? Did you not know that?”

“No! What the—why would Alex bring you here?!” Kara frantically texts her insane sister back.

SUPERGIRL:

Is there a curfew?

SENTINEL:

The sooner the better. I’m at Dad’s house right now or else I would do it myself.

That next coded message makes Kara exhale, finally, to at least know Alex is safe. Something big must have happened if she is dragging Kara into this without so much as a briefing, sure, but Kara also knows that Alex would not have trusted her with anything less.

“Lena,” Kara says, “can I ask you something urgent now?” She pauses when she immediately remembers the firm pressure of Lena’s lips, and quickly adds, “It doesn’t involve kissing.”

“Fair enough,” Lena says, enough amusement coloring her tone that Kara briefly flushes all over again.

“Can you trust me to get you home tonight?” Kara doesn’t wait for an answer before she goes on: “I know you don’t know me. But you know Alex. And I swear on my life, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for Alex, and by extension that means there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

Lena nods along with every word slowly. “You take your job very seriously.”

“I do,” Kara says firmly. (And, hopefully, comfortingly).

“Then I trust you, Kara Danvers,” Lena says. “If that’s even your real name.”

And for a brief moment, Kara’s not a spy fighting a clock on a mission she knows nothing about; she is, instead, a normal person who is capable of seeing the humor of her almost-sister-in-law who definitely knows more than she has clearance for.

“It is,” Kara says—even deigns to smile before she can quell it. “By choice.”

“That sounds like there’s a story somewhere.”

“I’ll tell you all about it sometime,” Kara promises. “Maybe even tonight, if in exchange you tell me your real name.”

“Unfortunately, Lena Luthor is my real name,” Lena says. “Alex said it was fine to tell her friends, so, this party was her idea. She even came up with the marriage idea so when my last name is changed, no one will care.”

The cogs finally start turning in Kara’s head far slower than she cares to admit. “Hold on. So you and Alex aren’t actually engaged?”

Again, Lena stares at Kara like she’s grown two heads in the last thirty seconds. “No. You seriously didn’t know? I thought you were just being weird, Alex says you get really into your method-acting stuff.”

“No.” Strangely, the first thing Kara feels is relief; she doesn’t have to actually tell her sister that she kissed her future wife. The second thing is, quite reasonably, alarm. “Okay I don’t know what the hell is going on with your case, but you mentioned someone who used to work for your brother, right? How bad is the threat?”

Lena hesitates. “It’s…kind of a long story.”

“So really bad,” Kara fills in the blanks. “Crap. We need to go.” She quickly shrugs off her jacket and presses it into Lena’s hands. “Put this on. There are no cameras in this area, but we’re going to hit some when we get to the parking lot.” 

“Is everything okay?” Lena asks, though she hurriedly does as Kara says.

“I’m sure it is,” Kara tries to assure her. “But it’s just a precaution until we can reunite you with Alex and confirm.”

Lena doesn’t seem like she believes Kara entirely—or at least, the way her expression remains a fraction confused definitely indicates as much. But at the very least, she does not argue, though she does make a point to ask, “Where is Alex?”

“She just got tied up at work.” Kara leads the way to the parking lot, careful to hover at Lena’s side on the off chance any threat might  materialize. “I don’t know where your current safe house is or if it’s been compromised, so I’m going to take you somewhere else. Is that okay?”

“Not like I have any choice,” Lena says wearily. “So am I not allowed to know when everything’s gone to shit? Or will everyone just keep telling me it’s okay when it’s not?”

Kara swings open the passenger side of James’s car (he’ll forgive her for this later) and waits for Lena to sit down. Lena doesn’t. “It’s—complicated,” she says.

“How so?” Lena crosses her arms and still does not move. Kara is still holding onto the car door, inadvertently standing too close; she feels strangely helpless when Lena looks right at her with eyes dark and determined.

“Full disclosure,” Kara reluctantly admits, “I…have no clue what’s going on with your case. I’ve been in the dark and Alex can't exactly  share the details through a text, so, the truth is I have no idea if everything has gone to shit. I know that is the very last thing you want to hear since I’m supposed to be protecting you, but—”

“Actually,” Lena says, and her look has softened, “that makes me trust you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I appreciate that you will tell me upfront you don't know,” Lena says. She sways slightly closer, enough that Kara stiffens, but it's only to duck into the car after all.

Kara shuts the door only after a very brief pause. This should not be as hard as it feels. For a week she has been associating the idea of Lena Luthor as her sister’s fiancée and it’s tough to wrap her head around the fact that the opposite is true.

(And it has absolutely nothing to do with how attractive Lena is. Or that kiss. For the record.)

The dashboard of James’s car reads 7:19 PM; his radio is playing a news station; the gas tank is half full. Kara makes note of everything and decides she will drive as far as she possibly can before it hits empty.

Lena is quiet, at first. And while there is nothing special about the bumper-to-bumper traffic or the hazy street lights or the clouded night sky, Lena keeps her gaze trained outwards, head resting against the tinted window.

But then, “My brother killed twenty people.”

Kara grips onto the wheel and tries not to outwardly react. She has, of course, always had a terrible poker face. “Oh.”

“It gets worse,” Lena says uneasily. “I designed the technology he used to kill them.”

There is no possible response Kara can imagine which might be appropriate. In the end she settles for: “That actually doesn’t seem like a long story after all.”

“I assumed Alex would have told you that, at least.” Lena begins to drum a pattern with her fingertips against the center console. “Do you think the worst of me now?”

“I guess that depends,” Kara says slowly, “on whether you designed that technology for the purpose of killing people.”

Lena gives a curt, kind of disbelieving half-laugh, half-scoff. “They were nanobots,” she says. “I was trying to use them to cure cancer. But my brother…well, he didn’t see half the potential I did.”

Kara casts a quick glance at Lena, finds her staring straight ahead with a stony expression on her face. “Lena,” she says gently, “that doesn’t sound like it was at all your fault.”

“Everyone tells me that.” More rhythmic drumming, each beat more hesitant than the last. “I don’t know when I’ll start to believe it.”

When she was a kid, Kara had been thrown into the foster system with little more than heartache and a wish to find the cousin she never would. She had never felt so helpless—so unsure—and something about Lena’s guilt right now brings her right back to that moment. Like she’s just a little kid, knees pulled up to her chest, waiting for a sign that would never come.

“It’ll be hard,” Kara says softly. It has begun to drizzle rain, and she mindlessly sets the wipers, watching them flick back and forth as they wait for the light to turn green. “But it will get easier. I promise.” 

“Odd thing to promise,” Lena notes, but Kara can feel her gaze burning against the side of her head, and Lena sounds…lighter, somehow. “Can I change the station?”

“Sure.” James will hate it, but Kara doesn’t mind. Lena chooses a jazz station that frequently breaks with static, and it’s by far the most peaceful hour-long drive Kara has had in a while. 

They pull up to the safe house when the clock reads 8:34 PM and the rain has petered out; the air feels damp and thick with residual humidity, but otherwise, the tranquility of the quiet gives Kara a good feeling. Lena has fallen asleep in the passenger’s side, and Kara softly nudges her awake.

“Here,” Kara says, handing her James’s emergency bag once they make their way up the house steps. “This should have a change of clothes. They’ll be too big, but better than your dress at least…if you’re hungry there will be granola bars in the pantry. We can’t risk ordering anything else right now, unfortunately.” She digs into her pocket for the batch of safe house keys she has on all times and locates the right one, pressing it surely into Lena’s hand. “Until we know for sure if I’ll be briefed on your case or not, just…assume you’re going to be moved tomorrow. Also, you never saw me. Like, officially.”

Lena wipes at her eyes with her palm, absentmindedly smearing her mascara. “You’re going to leave me here?” she says, hugging James’s bag to her chest.

“No, of course not. I’m going to be sitting in the car, out here,” Kara says. “I just mean like in general, you know, if I don’t end up getting briefed on your case it would be all kinds of not-allowed to be talking to you. So if anyone asks…”

“Ah,” Lena says, “right. I’ll just make up a cover story for my cover story.”

“Yeah, you know, we need to protect the bureaucracies and all that,” Kara says. “If I'm even using that word the right way.”

“And you're supposed to be a journalist?” Lena smiles ever-so-slightly. “Good thing you're decent at your day job.”

“Only decent?” Kara feels her own mouth twitch with the promise of her own smile. 

“I'd give you five stars on Yelp,” Lena says confidently, and Kara laughs, unable to stop herself from full-on grinning.

“Well if you need anything,” Kara says, and gestures over her shoulder to the car. “You know where I'll be.”

“Thank you.” Lena places a hand over Kara’s wrist, and just squeezes there briefly, her hand slightly cold but her touch overwhelmingly gentle. “Um. Would it be—would it be allowed to ask if you can stay with me inside, instead? I don't really want to be…alone.”

“That would make plausible deniability much harder to fake,” Kara tries to protest, but Lena is biting her lip and looking at Kara underneath mascara-smudged lashes and really, there is no other option but to cave. “…but I guess I could break a rule or two. Or twenty-seven.”

Lena smiles fully this time with obvious relief. “And here I thought I'd have to work harder to corrupt you.”

Kara pushes her glasses up her nose and says, “I’m a little concerned you were planning to corrupt me, but I mean. It’s one night.” She follows Lena inside when she opens the door, surveys the untouched room with a quick, satisfied glance. “Just as long as you don’t get me into trouble.”

“I’ll try my best not to,” Lena says, making a beeline for the couch to inspect James’s emergency bag; she pulls out an oversized T-shirt with an exhausted sigh. “Can you unzip me?” Already she’s pulling her hair off her shoulders, exposing the graceful slope of her neck, and Kara almost forgets to lock the door behind her.

“Y-yeah,” she stammers out, once again fiddling with the glasses that she doesn’t need, and she knows it right then and there: Lena Luthor will undoubtedly get her in trouble. And judging by the way Lena gazes so shyly at Kara over her shoulder, she knows it.

(But, well. In the grand scheme of things, Kara figures a little trouble never hurt anyone).

[nerdygaymormon]

Favorite LGBTQ movie and TV quotes

“Um, I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine. And I’ve been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back, I tried a Merlot that used to be a Chardonnay, which got a bit complicated… I like the wine and not the label. Does that make sense?”

— David Rose, Schitt’s Creek, Season 1, Episode 10

“That felt so good to say. I feel like I just solved an escape room I’ve been trapped in my entire life.”

— Fabiola Torres, Never Have I Ever, Season 1, Episode 5

“Look, I’ll be hurt either way. Isn’t it better to be who I am?”

— Eric Effiong, Sex Education, Season 1, Episode 7

“Everybody’s story is different. There’s your version, and my version, and everything in between. But the one thing that all of those stories have in common is that moment right before you say those words when your heart is racing, and you don’t know what’s coming next. That moment’s really terrifying. And then once you say those words, you can’t unsay them. A chapter has ended, and a new one’s begun, and you have to be ready for that.”

— John, Happiest Season

“The good thing about being different is that no one expects you to be like them”

— Ellie Chu, The Half Of It

"When I'm with Brittany, I finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love. I've tried so hard to push this feeling away, and keep it locked inside, but every day just feels like a war. I walk around so mad at the world, but I'm really just fighting with myself. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm just too tired. I have to just be me."

— Santana Lopez, Glee, Season 3, Episode 7

“Now, there is a long and honorable tradition in the gay community, and it has stood us in good stead for a very long time. When somebody calls you a name…you take it and own it.”

— Mark Ashton, Pride

“So I'm bisexual. So what? It's LGBTQ for a reason. There's a B in there and it doesn't mean Badass. Okay, it does, but it also means Bi.”

— Callie Torres, Grey's Anatomy, Episode 1105

“We’re standing here in Philadelphia, the, uh, City of Brotherly Love, the birthplace of freedom where the, uh, founding fathers authored the Declaration of Independence, and I don’t recall that glorious document saying anything about all straight men are created equal. I believe it says all men are created equal.”

— Joe Miller, Philadelphia

"Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. F*** the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks."

— Armand Goldman, The Birdcage

"Being gay is your thing. There are parts of it you have to go through alone. I hate that. As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." I need you to hear this: You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease and who your father depends on for just about everything. And you're the same brother who always complements his sister on her food, even when it sucks. You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in... in a very long time. You deserve everything you want."

— Emily Spier, Love, Simon

"The greatest gift we can give each other is our authentic selves and sharing that. Sharing our truth is what will make us strong. So here I am. I am both human and alien. And I am a trans woman."

— Kara Danvers, Supergirl, Season 4, Episode 19

"But I feel more when I look at a picture of Kristen Stewart than I do when I kiss him."

— Elena Alvarez, One Day at a Time,

"You can’t change it. You can’t fix me. Because I’m not broken, I don’t need to be fixed, OK? I’m me!"

— Ian Gallagher, Shameless, Season 5, Episode 12

"Becoming me was the greatest creative project of my life."

Eliot Waugh, The Magicians, Season 1, Episode 1

"Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. So, thank you."

—Raymond Holt, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 5, Episode 10

"I might be…bisexual, and you guys know I hate labels, but this one feels important right now to own the space I’m in and to make sense of it."

—Kat Edison, The Bold Type

[harleychick91]

Seeing Red (rated M)

After finding out the truth, Lena refuses to speak to Kara or the Superfriends and throws herself into L-Corp business. After some personal information about her former best friend is brought to her attention, Lena is kidnapped by Lex. To save Lena, Kara must expose herself to Red Kryptonite. AU-Canon divergent.

Please read tags and warnings if you are sensitive to violence. This is only posted on AO3 because of FFN formatting issues. I’ve posted a notice of this on my FFN.

Lena’s POV

“Thanks for meeting me,” Andrea smiled as she sat across from me at the small table. “These lunches make work bearable.”

Picking up the menu, I nodded. “They are nice.” A pang pulled at my chest remembering the lunches Kara and I shared.

Studying me over her menu, Andrea spoke cautiously. “I’m glad we were able to reconnect. I know it’s hard for you to look back. Even if it was for a business venture.”

She’s holding something back. “It is, yes.”

For the most part, lunch was filled with small talk about L-Corp and Obsidian North. The beta program of the newest set of lenses was going well with little bugs to fix. I skirted questions about my own projects because I didn’t want to reveal anything. As the waiter approached, Andrea pulled out her wallet. “It’s on me.”

Eyeing the woman, I waited until we were alone to speak. “What is this really about? Yes, you wanted to catch up over lunch but you’ve been holding something back all afternoon. What is it?”

Relief washed over the woman’s features. “You’re right,” she drummed her fingers on her black leather clutch. “What happened between you and Kara Danvers?” Andrea continued before I could answer. “Because something clearly happened between the two of you. Before you contacted me about buying CatCo, I thought the two of you were dating. From how she wrote about you in her articles, the fact that she was always on your arm at events, and that beautiful introduction you gave at the Pulitzer event,” she paused. “You seemed happier than I’ve ever seen you.”

“We were friends,” I muttered. Even now, saying the words hurt. Kara was more to me than just a friend. She meant the world to me. I let her in and she broke my heart.

“Uh-huh,” Andrea smirked. “Friends don’t look at friends like that. Since the award ceremony, anytime your name comes up in the office, Kara looks like a guilty puppy who’s being scolded by her owner.” Looking away, Andrea pulled something from her clutch and placed it on the table. “As the owner of Obsidian, I have to keep an eye on what its users do. If I were to accidentally leave this here and you were to take it home and accidentally look at the files, I can’t stop you.”

My brows creased. “What files may or may not be on this flash drive?”

“A copy of the data from a user named KD102493.” Kara’s initials and my birthday? “So, you do realize who this is? Good. Now,” Andrea stood, “I need to hurry off to a meeting. What you decide to do with this drive is up to you. All I ask is that you don’t let it fall into the wrong hands. Have a good rest of your day.” With that, the woman pushed in her chair and left me staring at the device.

Kara said she didn’t care for the VR contacts. That she only wanted to live in the real world. What could she possibly be doing with a set of them?

“May I get you anything else, Miss Luthor?” I was startled by the waiter’s cheerful tone. “Sorry, Ma’am,” he smiled apologetically.

“No, thank you. I’m fine.” With a nod, he left. Taking the device, I called for a car. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to focus on work, I sent Jess a text asking if she would hold my calls and reschedule my last meeting of the day.

Arriving home, I made some tea and sat on the couch. My laptop and the flash drive sat on the coffee table. Knowing what I’ve used the contacts for, I can’t imagine what Kara has used them for. But Andrea wouldn’t have given this to me if she didn’t think I needed to see something. Leaning forward, I toyed with the drive as my laptop hummed to life. My chest clenched seeing the background. I love that picture of us. My first game night. We beat every other team by a landslide. Grumbling, I plugged the drive in and opened the first video file.

Kara cheered as J’onn announced the night’s winning team. Bumping my shoulder, she grinned. “My perfect game partner.”

“I swear, it’s like you can read each other’s minds,” Nia laughed. “Are they always like this?”

“Yes!” The group answered in mock annoyance.

All of the other videos were her playing back a different memory of us. A lunch, a gala, cooking dinner, or even working independently in my office. Opening the final file, my brow creased. This isn’t a memory. Is it a daydream?

I stood feet from Kara, in a white dress, anger radiated from me. ”Lena, please…” She begged. “I’m sorry. Let me-,”

“No!” I growled, turning towards her. “You had so many chances to tell me how you felt! I forgave you for keeping the truth from me for years but this…” My lip trembled. “You let me go to Sam when I needed someone. I fell in love with her because I never knew how you felt!”

“I know,” she whispered. “I should have done so many things differently.”

“You should have. Goodbye, Kara.”

The video ended and I stared at the final image. She is in love with me. What was that? Her own kind of torture? Seeing me with someone else? Why not James? Biting my knuckle, I thought back to when Jack was here and when I dated James. If she is in love with me, a few of her looks make more sense now. The anger I felt started to give way to sorrow. Rubbing my temple, I closed the file and ejected the flash drive. Turning it in my hand, I dropped it in my half empty tea mug.

Taking the mug to the kitchen, I rinsed the cup and crushed the flash drive with a meat tenderizer. That should take care of it. Brushing the remains into a bag, I dropped it into my purse to incinerate in the lab tomorrow.

Walking back into the living room, a purple portal opened. “Hello, Sis,” Lex grinned. Lunging towards me, he covered my nose and mouth with a cloth and held it firm until I stopped fighting.

Finish reading on AO3!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57148156

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 14

This and previous chapters are also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lena Luthor was dangling from the side of a cliff, nothing between her and the vast chasm of space below but the small jutting nodule she was clinging to to keep from falling.

How the hell had she ended up here?

Well. She knew how of course.

Kara Danvers was how.

She blamed the movie night.

After a slightly stilted start and some back and forth over what to watch, the three of them had found the rhythm of the evening, and it hadn’t been long before Nia and Kara were giggling away together over the ‘ridiculously unrealistic portrayal of journalism’ it apparently showed (Lena was slightly ashamed to confess that despite the not-insignificant amount of time she had spent in charge of a media company, she hadn’t really noticed. She maintained however that this was due to her relative inexperience with on-the-ground reporting and had nothing whatsoever to do with being distracted by the presence of Kara beside her, not quite touching but close enough to feel the heat radiating from her body and to remember in breath-stealing clarity how it had felt to close those last few inches between them).

Given the movie theme the conversation had inevitably moved on to talking about work, and as the only one not privy to Catco’s day to day office gossip it would have been easy to find herself on the outside. But just as she always did , Kara had sought her out, drawn her in, included Lena so naturally that before she knew it she was cracking up along with the others as they once again speculated about the true intentions of Mr William Dey, and whether he was:

a. Evil b. A self serving, toadying ass just trying to ingratiate himself with the boss at the expense of his colleagues c. Trying to flirt with Kara in some weird British, deprecating way that, Kara assured them both vehemently, was ABSOLUTELY NOT WORKING (Lena tried not to examine too closely the little flare of satisfaction that bloomed in her chest at the sight of how utterly horrified Kara looked when Nia suggested that as a motivation. It wasn’t that she felt territorial over Kara. It was just that William Dey so clearly didn’t deserve her attention, and she was glad that her friend placed more value on herself than the alternative would imply).

Then somewhere in the midst of their the warm fuzzy bubble of companionship and a little too much wine , Kara had asked if they wanted to do something a bit different next time. The excess nonchalance in her tone should have tipped Lena off that whatever it was might be a hard sell, but at the time she hadn’t noticed . If pressed she might have guessed that Kara was going to suggest they go out dancing, or even karaoke if she was pushing her luck. But no. What she actually said was:

‘I’ve been thinking about going rock climbing.’

‘Rock climbing? Kara, really?’

‘Yeah, I think I’d like to try. I don’t know, there’s just something about being so high up, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since I had that flying dream. I think it could be fun.’

Nia had pulled a face, shaking her head before Kara had the chance to ask directly if they would go with her.

‘Sorry Kara, I really want to want to do that with you, but I just don’t think rock climbing would be my thing. I’d love to hear all about it afterwards though.’

‘Lena?’

Lena hesitated. Rock climbing was most definitely not her thing either, and while it might not be actual flying, she did not have the greatest track record with heights. But Kara was looking at her with big imploring blue eyes, and the ‘no’ stuck unspoken to the roof of her mouth.

‘Please? You were in the flying dream too, so that proves it’s meant to be. I promise it will be so much fun, and we can go out for lunch after? My treat. We can even go to the place with the kale if you really, really want to.’

Lena had given in.

She rationalised that the continuation from Kara’s flying dream to her new desire to dangle from a great height might indicate the beginnings of a bridge between her conscious self and her locked Supergirl memories, and maybe it would lead to them returning naturally in a way that didn’t cause her mind to respond defensively.

It was definitely a possibility worth exploring, but in truth Lena would have given in anyway. There were activities that were so far outside her comfort zone that she would turn them down at the expense of getting to seeing Kara’s hopeful half-smile blossom into a joyfully radiant beam, but between the happy scrunch of her nose and the exuberant little wiggle of excitement that bounced the couch cushions enough to slosh wine over Lena’s fingers when she said yes, she had had some trouble thinking of any specific examples in the moment.

And alright, so maybe it wasn’t an actual cliff.

It was really just the climbing wall at the National City Indoor Sports Centre, and technically speaking she also had a harness to keep her from falling. But somehow Lena hadn’t been prepared for how real this would feel, or how little faith she would have in absurdly narrow rope that was supposed to take her weight if she lost her grip.

Kara on the other hand didn’t share her hesitation in the slightest, and had launched herself at the wall almost before the instructor could finish securing her harness and giving them the safety speech, her face lit up in a giant goofy grin the entire time.

To begin with Lena stayed at the bottom, just watching as Kara whizzed up the first route, swinging her way past other climbers and recklessly skipping half the handholds as if gravity was still an optional thing for her. It had been pretty amazing to watch. The way her feet seemed to find purchase on the tiniest bump without the slightest hesitation or fumble. The taught muscles flexing under her tight tank top as she reached and leapt. On the ground Kara sometimes seemed a little physically awkward, as if she was having to be constantly aware of how her body was moving and keep it in check (which, with superspeed and superstrength enough to break just about any item she came into contact with, Lena supposed wasn’t far off the mark); but in the air she was all grace and flowing lines, and it was easy to believe that in another moment she would let go of the wall altogether and simply fly.

Lena actually wondered once or twice if she might, when Kara made a leap for a hand hold that was so clearly out of her reach, or when she reached the top and launched herself right off the wall in triumph without even a flinch of instinctive fear of falling. But each time her hand or foot would find purchase somewhere on the wall again, or the rope would catch her and she’d hang for a moment before rappelling back down to join Lena on the ground, breathless and laughing.

‘This is so much fun! We have to try the big one next! I’ll race you to the top?’

‘Well that’s hardly a fair race! I think we both know who’ll win – you Kara Danvers are clearly part mountain goat.’

‘Oh shoot, you found me out! Okay, okay, no race. But come and climb it with me anyway? We can go slow, and it’s not like you can fall.’

Kara gestured at the ‘Defying Gravity’ logo emblazoned across Lena’s chest with a grin that was impossible not to return. The t-shirt had been a thank you present the day they had been to see Wicked on Broadway, and Lena had worn it deliberately today, half as a joke and half in the vain hope that the universe would take the hint and keep her from falling off somewhere high up when there was no Supergirl around to swoop in and catch her. Also, in spite of it being the only poly-cotton item in her entire wardrobe, she just kind of loved it. It reminded her of the time she had spent with Kara, sharing a story that meant something to her and for once allowing herself to live fully in the moment with her friend without dwelling on their painful past or uncertain future.

It had been such a perfect day. They had gone early to make the most of it, and in return for the plane ride and theatre tickets Kara had insisted on treating Lena to every single over priced tourist activity they had come across, including a visit to the zoo, a river cruise, a carousel ride, no less than four different kinds of snack foods, and a street artist’s pencil sketch portrait of the two of them grinning self-consciously over melting ice cream cones (Lena had protested at the time, but nevertheless had the drawing tucked safely away inside the planner Kara had bought for her first day at Catco, waiting to be scanned so that they could each have a copy to keep).

The show itself had been as engaging as always, but this time Lena had enjoyed it all the more despite watching less intently, because Kara had been there beside her, reacting to everything like it really had been Lena’s story. When it was over she had hugged her hard, as if she could press all the broken pieces of her back together and shield her from the world’s judgement with nothing more than the strength of her embrace. And for those few heartbeats, Lena thought perhaps she could.

The t-shirt was a physical reminder of all of that, and was something she would be able to hold onto, after.

And so when she was faced with the huge expanse of wall and Kara’s hopeful expression, she had wrapped herself up in that feeling, and begun to climb.

It had actually had started out pretty well.

She didn’t find it as difficult as she had been expecting, and Lena had relished the physical challenge of it as she pushed herself up from handhold to handhold, keeping her eyes fixed on Kara above her as they got closer and closer to the top of the wall.

Then… something changed.

Maybe it was the glimpse she caught of the blue lino floor unexpectedly far below her.

Maybe it was Kara looking down at her and inadvertently calling out the same words she had once used in a very different context (climb Lena! Climb!)

Maybe it was just the temporary glow of their moment on the ground wearing off.

Whatever the reason, Lena tried to shrug it off at first. She focused on the practical – where to place her foot next to get the right angle of thrust, or her hand to keep steady while she manoeuvred, or how much further there was to go until she drew abreast with Kara above her. It worked for a while, but the higher she got, the more Lena’s legs seemed to be shaking beneath her, her breath hitching into a pant that wasn’t at all warranted by the level of physical exertion.

The wall blurred in front of her as she struggled to get enough oxygen into her body. She closed her eyes tight against the sight of it, trying hard to compose herself even as her lungs became bellows fanning the flames of her mounting panic, and-

-She was in the broken half of a plane as it plummeted towards the reservoir, and it was either her or the city. The only chance to save herself was to climb, but this time she just couldn’t . Her muscles had seized up entirely, and all she could do was cling to the wall with her eyes scrunched tight shut, waiting for the inevitable moment when Supergirl gave up on her and let her fall…

She was in a helicopter as it span out of control and tumbled from the air, the sickening blur of sky-building-ground making her giddy as she tried to brace for an impact that could come from any direction...

She was free falling from her office balcony, dropped over the edge as easily as a stone into a lake, and with as little chance of floating back up again as the dark night swallowed her whole...

Her plane was going down and she wasn’t going to make it. They were going to crash and this time it wasn’t just her that would die, because Kara was here too. Kara was going to die and it was all her fault...

Then a strong hand was holding Lena’s, wrapping gently around her white knuckled grip on the absurdly small nob of plastic that was all that stood between her and falling. The hand was warm and slightly calloused, and so rock steady that Lena almost believed it could keep her up all by itself.

‘Hey. Lena? Look at me. It’s alright. You’re alright.’

Lena managed to crack one eye open, and caught a glimpse of the dizzying drop below. She let out a little whimper and closed it again.

‘No, no don’t look down. Just look at me, okay? I’ve got you sweetheart, it’s alright. Do you trust me to get you down safely?

Sweetheart?

The gently spoken endearment was just distracting enough to give Lena the courage to force her eyes to open properly, and when they did she found the same face looking back at her that had always been there for her in these moments. This same steady hand that now held hers had caught her tumbling helicopter, held up the plummeting halves of Edge’s plane long enough for her to jump free of it, scooped her up as she fell from the sky again and again. Lena had almost died by falling so many times, and on every single one of them Kara had been there to catch her, even if she hadn’t known it was her at the time.

And now somehow, even without her powers, she was doing it again.

Lena’s hyperventilations slowed, enough at least to let her answer the question without gasping like a 50-a-day smoker on a mountain hike.

‘I do. I trust you.’

Even as she said them, the truth of those words resonated in a way she hadn’t expected them to. She trusted Kara to get her down from here safely, yes. But she also just… trusted Kara.

She couldn’t say with certainty that that would still be true once Kara was Supergirl again and all the complications of conflicting interests and messy history came back into play, but she was no longer sure that it wouldn’t be either.

She wanted to stop and think, to consider how she felt about the sudden realisation , and maybe spiral a little over how vulnerable this c ould leave her if things went wrong again, because she wasn’t suppose d to trust Kara . Part of her wanted to panic about it , to retreat behind her defenses and stok e the dwindling flame of her fury until she felt safely invulnerable again , but right now she had no room in her mind or body for any more panic than she was already experiencing, and the dread for this new knowledge simply would not come . Instead a warm surety lodged itself somewhere deep in her chest, putting down roots that she suspected would be difficult to weed out even once she got down from here ...

...If she ever did get down.

She might be breathing steadily enough that she was no longer seeing black spots swimming before her eyes , but she was still fixed grimly to the wall, completely incapable of unlocking her muscles from their rigid posture enough to actually attempt a descent .

But Kara was there. She was right there, and gazing steadily at Lena with a look of such gentle assurance that it was hard to doubt her as she went on speaking, her words low and soothing and just for Lena.

‘Good. We’re going to do this together, alright?’

Lena managed a jerky nod, and Kara manoeuvred her way over until they were hip to hip, then, somehow keeping her balance using only her feet, let go of the wall with both hands and wrapped them snugly around Lena’s torso like a second harness, bringing their bodies together until they were so close that Lena couldn’t be sure anymore how much of her thundering pulse was due to fear and how much was the fact that Kara’s cheek was against hers, her front pressed fully against Lena’s back and arms cradling her in what would, in any other circumstances, have been an incredibly intimate and decidedly non-platonic embrace.

‘Here we go.’

The arms around her tightened a little more, then Kara kicked off the wall, and Lena let herself be pulled away from the handhold she had been clinging to as they swung out into space. It was exactly what she had been afraid of when she had seized up, and yet it didn’t feel like falling. Not when Kara’s arms were holding her close and her steady breath was tickling the back of her neck. It was just like it had always been. She was safe in these arms.

Kara would never let her fall.

Kara rappelled them both carefully back down until at last their feet found purchase on the ground, and Lena sagged with relief.

‘Thank you.’

‘Of course. I’m so sorry Lena, you should have said you were scared of heights, I never would have made you go up there with me.’

‘I’m not. At least… I didn’t think I was. I’ve been in high places plenty of times before and nothing like that has ever happened.’

She tried for a laugh, but could tell it didn’t quite land, and looked down at her (brand new, and now probably never to be worn again) climbing shoes instead.

‘I’m sorry, I must have made such a fool of myself, and you were having such a good time. You should keep going, I can just meet you later for lunch when you’re done.’

‘No, nope, not happening. We are getting these harnesses off, and then we’re going to go and find somewhere quiet to sit down until you feel better. We can talk about it. Or not talk about it. Whatever you need.’

Kara stayed endearingly protective after that, getting between Lena and the employee who came over to tick them off for their unorthodox descent, then keeping her arm firmly wrapped around her as they walked out, as if she thought she might still need the support to stay up right.

She didn’t, really. Almost as soon as her feet were back on firm ground the brief panic attack had dissipated, and she felt more embarrassed than anything. But- well, it felt nice to have Kara holding her so close, and Lena couldn’t quite bring herself to put a stop to it. Her own arm snuck around Kara’s waist in return, and she let herself feel anchored by the contact as they turned their backs on the scene of her public humiliation and stepped out together into the sunshine.

[the-feral-gremlin]

laurel lance, kara danvers and oliver queen!!

(From this ask game thingy)

Laurel Lance.

Okay, for this one I chose A Lot’s Gonna Change by Weyes Blood. It reminds me of her after the gambit went down and the whole arc around it (Also it kind of reminds me of her after the undertaking and her becoming the black canary and being a hero but ANYWAYS.)

“If I could go back to a time before now before I ever fell down, when I had the world gently wrapped at my fingers.”

Before the gambit, Laurel had her whole life at her fingertips: college, a semi stable family dynamic, a boyfriend, a whole ass future ahead of her. With one act, her entire life was pulled from underneath her feet.

“And no one good thing could be taken away from me, if I still believe that hearts don’t lie.”

Like I said, her entire life and family was shattered and it just… kept shattering and she was trying desperately to pick up the pieces while her own hands were bleeding. Every couple of years something good would be taken away. It reminds of all the trust issues that she had developed over all the years of hurt and betrayal: her parents, her sister, Oliver (also I want to make it clear that this is not me bashing Sara or Oliver.)

and how long it took for Laurel to trust tommy, to let him in only for him to die and her to sleep with Oliver again.

That’s just some of the lyrics and my interpretation, anyways it’s VERY e-1 laurel coded.

Kara Danvers

For this one I chose ancient dreams in a modern land by MARINA. It reminds me of Kara after landing on earth and becoming supergirl also how even though she grew to call earth her home, she still felt disconnected from it and Argo.

“Our ancestors had to fight to survive, Just so we could have a chance of a life.”

How Kara’s parents (and Clark’s parents) sent her and her cousin away for their safety and how there was (probably) a possibility that it would fail, how Alura knew that her pod was knocked into the phantom zone. How Kara grieved her planet, her parents, her friends, the random people that she ran into.

Basically this scene.

“What's your purpose, why were you put on Earth? You could be lost but you belong to the world.”

How she was told she was sent to earth to protect and guide Clark and when she gets there he doesn’t need her protection anymore. Basically Her purpose to keep going after her entire world died was gone, how she tried so hard to blend in to be normal. How supergirl was always treated like some.. publicity magnet for catco in the earlier seasons and how much Kara hated it.

But that’s just my analysis.

Oliver Queen

For this one, I genuinely couldn’t pick because I have a 4 hour long playlist for him and I love his character so much BUT headless horseman by the microphones. It just fits him so well.

“I got hit hard, I’m on the ground and if you swing again I’ll duck but I wish you the best of luck.”

This applies to Oliver in so many parts in his life, but mostly the island/those five years away. How the hope of returning slowly faded from his eyes but he still kept going, fighting for something he didn’t know anymore.

“I miss my closest friend, And now I cling to the rocks and the wind.”

Oliver going back to the island post-season one. he didn’t know where to put all the grief, for Tommy and for his father (I think Moira confessing to sabotaging the queens gambit unraveled all the unprocessed grief Oliver had shoved down in order to survive.) in a (semi) safe environment so he went back to the place it all happened in hopes that something would push it back down and he wouldn’t have to deal with it.

Again, this is just my analysis/opinion. But yeah, the entire song is literally so Oliver coded.

Anyways, thank for the ask!!

[supercorpkid]

I Should Hate You - ending

Supergirl. Baby Danvers Reader. Kara Danvers. Alex Danvers. Lena Luthor. Lex Luthor.

Word Count: 2420.

Part 1

You’re stumbling down every step, and the night air hits you like a slap when you get out of Kara’s building. It’s dangerous here, too dark, too exposed, and you scan the street in fear. How can you get to safety?"

“Y/N, wait!”

Kara's voice cuts through the stillness, too close for comfort, and you let out a sharp scream. The sound comes from deep inside you—loud, desperate, raw.

"No, wait, it's just me. Just Kara. You're alright.”

You blink at her, incapable of more. Your heart slamming against your ribcage, your breath caught on your throat, while your mind runs circles around itself.

“Where are you going?”

“Midvale.” You manage a whisper.

“Midvale?” She repeats in shock, and you nod rapidly. You don't know how yet, but you know for a fact that you're not staying a minute longer around them. “Alright, okay.” She can see how scared you are. She can hear your body reacting in fear. “Let me take you there, alright? It will be faster and you'll be safer.”

“Safer?” You bark a laugh. “With you? No, I don't think so.”

Kara flinches at the sharpness in your voice, but it’s nothing compared to the tightness in your chest. You can’t shake the feeling of suffocation, of everything closing in on you. The city lights feel like they're flickering in and out of focus, and you wonder if you’ve forgotten how to breathe properly or if it’s always been this hard.

She takes a cautious step toward you, her hands raised in a placating gesture. “Y/N, I know you're—" she pauses, a slight hesitation, like she's trying to pick the right words, "—feeling a lot right now. But I’m not going to let you go out there on your own like this.”

You take a sharp, shaky breath, but the anger bubbles up, hot and burning, and it’s impossible to hold back anymore. You spin around, fury in your voice as it breaks through all that terrified silence.

“You don’t get it, Kara,” you bite out, your hands shaking at your sides. “You don’t understand how fucking terrifying this is. I never asked for this. I never asked to be dragged into your world, to be in danger just because I’m related to you.”

The words hit the air like a slap, Kara’s voice shaking as she steps forward, her eyes wide with a mix of hurt and frustration.

“You think I don’t understand? Of course, I get it. You think I don’t see how dangerous my life makes everything for you?” Kara’s voice cracks, but she doesn’t stop. “Of course I know that you're in danger because of me! Do you think I like this? That I want this? You think I want to put you through this just because I’m Supergirl?”

She takes another step closer, and the intensity in her gaze burns through the tension between you both.

“I could’ve died!” You almost shout, fists clenched at your sides, the anger still bubbling beneath your skin. “I could’ve been another one of those victims you can’t save! And what would’ve happened to me then? I didn’t ask for any of this, Kara! And you— you don’t get how fucking terrified I am every goddamn second! Every day, knowing that just being near you could mean I’m next.”

Her face hardens for a second, a flicker of frustration in her eyes, before she steps into your space, desperate to make you understand.

“I would never have left you there to die!” Kara’s words rush out, pleading, like she can’t stand the thought of you questioning her anymore. “I never wanted you to feel this way. I can’t believe you think I’d let anything happen to you. You have to believe me, okay? I— I can’t live with the thought of losing you, ever. I would’ve done anything to make sure you were safe.”

“Well, I don't. I don't know anymore. I can't get out of my house, I can't go to class, I can't, God, I can't sleep anymore! I just keep thinking another villain is going to pop out in the middle of nowhere and make me suffer, again.” Your sister looks at you in so much pity it makes your stomach churn. “I wish you had never become Supergirl!”

“What?”

“And to make things worse— you brought a Luthor into our lives!”

“A Luthor?” Lena’s voice comes a second later and you look at the building door. Alex and Lena are both there staring at you with wide eyes and mouth agape.

Your heart skips a beat, panic tightening in your chest. You hadn’t even realized they were standing there, just outside of Kara’s apartment, watching this unravel.

The weight of your words hits you like a punch to the gut. You feel the crushing guilt flood you as soon as they leave your mouth, the harshness of what you’ve said echoing in your chest. Your heart races, but nothing seems to slow the panic, the fear, the anger you don’t know where to place.

Lena’s expression freezes, her eyes wide and full of something you can’t quite name—hurt, confusion, maybe even disbelief. It cuts deeper than anything you’ve ever felt, and before you even realize it, your legs give out from under you. The tears fall, hot and fast, like they’ve been waiting for this moment to spill.

“A Luthor?” she repeats. “Is that all I am to you?”

“Lena, no—no, I didn’t mean it.” Your voice cracks, a desperate sob slipping free. “I— I didn’t mean it, I swear. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” You take a step forward, hands shaking, but it’s too late. You’re already falling apart. “I know you’re good. I know you didn’t do anything wrong. I just—” Your breath catches in your throat. “Oh my God, I don’t know how to fix this.”

You sink to your knees, the words tumbling out faster than you can control them, too raw, too much to handle. You’re suffocating, your chest tight with the weight of the fear that’s been building, the fear you’ve been holding onto and trying to bury. Both Kara and Alex make a move to hold you, but as you keep talking, they stop themselves.

“I’m sorry. Lena, I’m so sorry.” The words feel hollow as they escape your lips, but you can’t stop them. “I just— I was so scared. I still am. I— I never asked for this. I never asked to be dragged into this life where I could die at any moment just because I’m Kara's sister.” You sob, unable to stop the words as they spill from you in an uncontrollable rush. “I never asked for any of it, and I’m so fucking scared. I’m so fucking terrified I can’t breathe—can’t sleep. I— I just keep thinking that I can't even defend myself.”

You look up at her, eyes wide, pleading. But Lena doesn’t speak. Her face is hard, but there’s something in the way she’s looking at you that makes the world tilt. It’s the kind of look that tells you she had already figured it out, almost as if she understands this kind of struggle.

“I know you’re not the same as them. I know you’re not like your family.” You can’t stop crying. Can’t stop shaking. It feels like it’s suffocating you from the inside and you hurt them. You hurt them all “I didn’t mean it,” you say again, your voice barely a whisper. “I didn’t mean to say that. Please, Lena, please Kara... I don’t want to hurt you both. I just... I don’t know how to stop being scared. I don’t know how to stop feeling like I'm going to fall apart.”

Your vision's been blurry for long, you barely can't tell if they're still there. If they care. It feels like you’ve exhausted every tear, like there’s nothing left but the raw, guttural pain of it all.

And then, through your blurred vision, you see Lena step forward, slow and measured, like she’s afraid of breaking you too. But she doesn’t speak at first. Instead, she kneels in front of you, her gaze softening as she watches you crumble.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper again, your voice so small it feels like you’re disappearing.“I didn’t want to hurt you. But it came out like that—came out all wrong. And I—” You choke on your words. “I can’t even fix it.”

Lena doesn’t answer, but she doesn’t have to. Her hand comes out, tentative at first, before she pulls you into her arms, cradling you close as you sob into her chest. The warmth of her embrace is all you can cling to, and you let yourself fall into it, unable to stop the tears that still come.

“Please,” you say again, breathless and broken. “please.”

“Shhh,” Lena whispers softly, her voice steady. “You’re safe. We’re here.” She strokes your hair gently, as if trying to smooth the chaos out of you. “Let’s get you back inside, okay? Come on, let’s get you out of the street. Let’s get you safe and warm.”

Kara picks you up gently and you curl yourself up in her arms. You can’t believe that just minutes ago, you were telling her you didn’t feel safe around her, when this is the safest you’ve felt in days. Her warmth surrounds you, the steady beat of her heart grounding you. Even after everything you said she is still so soft, so sweet.

She sets you down on the couch, and before your body has even settled, she’s wrapping you in blankets, the soft fabric cocooning you in its warmth, like she’s trying to hold the entire world at bay. Everything outside of this small, safe space feels like it’s no longer relevant, as though she’s built a little bubble around you, one where nothing can hurt you.

You glance up, startled to realize you’re surrounded. Kara on one side, Lena on the other, both of them flanking you like a wall of comfort, soft yet unwavering. Their presence presses into you like a promise. Alex is kneeling in front of you, her usual toughness softened by something else—concern, yes, but also a quiet kind of relief in her eyes, as though seeing you this way eases something heavy in her too. You’re surrounded, not just physically, but emotionally—by their strength, their care. It’s overwhelming, and for the first time in days, you feel something other than terror clawing at your chest. You feel... relief.

The weight of everything crashes into you at once, and suddenly, you can’t understand how you let yourself believe that these people, your family, were the ones who made you feel unsafe. How could you have thought that, when here they are, offering you nothing but safety?

The only reason you’re still here, the only reason you’re not broken, is because of them. Kara, Alex and yes, Lena—despite everything, despite your fear, despite all the doubt, they’ve always been there. Always kept you safe. Always held you close, even when you didn’t deserve it.

Alex’s voice breaks through the thick air, soft but steady. She rests her head on your legs, looking up to you doe-eyed. "You’re not alone, Peaches. Never will be as long as we live."

Kara’s hand finds the back of your head, her fingers brushing your hair back with a tenderness that makes your chest tighten. "You’re safe. I know you don't feel like that. But you are. Trust me, I would tear the whole world apart for you, to keep you protected." She says, her voice like a balm. The words are punctuated by the soft press of her lips against your forehead, lingering there just a moment longer than usual, as if to seal the promise she’s made to you.

And then, Lena’s eyes catch yours, and for a moment, you’re lost in them. She leans in, just barely, lips brushing your tear-streaked cheek. The kiss is fleeting but filled with so much—everything she hasn’t said, everything she wants to promise. "No villain is coming anywhere closer to you ever again," she murmurs. Her words are wrapped in quiet conviction, like something sacred she’s sworn to keep.

You look up at her, your gaze searching hers, feeling the tremor in your voice when you speak. "You can’t promise that." The words feel like a plea, the kind of doubt you don’t want to hold onto, but it’s still there. 

Lena’s lips hover close, a soft kiss landing on the tear streaking down your face. It’s just a hair’s breadth from your lips, and in that moment, there's nothing in you that doesn't believe her. You close your eyes as she whispers, her voice low, full of conviction. "I’ll die before I let anyone get to you again."

The weight of her words sinks in, settling around you like the blankets Kara’s wrapped you in—safe, sure. Alex’s voice cuts through the thick air with surprising fierceness, her hand squeezing yours. "Yeah, me too."

A soft laugh, almost like a sigh, escapes you, as Kara jokes, "Me three." It’s a small thing, but the lightness in her voice pulls you from the edge of the abyss, letting some of the tension slip away. The smile that creeps onto your lips feels fragile, but it’s real. For the first time in hours, the air doesn’t feel as suffocating.

You’re still trembling, but there’s a shift, a softening, a moment where fear isn’t the first thing on your mind. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, the words barely more than a breath. It feels like you owe them everything, and yet, the words don’t seem nearly enough. But you say them anyway.

Alex smiles at you, "Anytime."

Kara leans in to kiss the top of your head, her hand resting gently on your back, her thumb brushing over your spine like she’s holding you together. "We’re always here."

And Lena—Lena just looks at you. No more words needed. Her gaze holds everything—love, understanding, a promise, and something deeper. Something that makes you feel like maybe, just maybe, the road doesn’t end in fear—not when it leads to this Luthor.

The weight doesn’t completely lift—not yet. But with your family around you, there’s a quiet kind of certainty building inside you, the kind that tells you that you can get through this. And for the first time in a long while, you let yourself believe that things will be okay.

[beyourownanchor6]

I think they were good out of context, as standalone. But some things never made sense. Like after the first one where Supergirl joins, it's like. She found out there's a whole universe where there's no superman or supergirl, no clark kent or kara danvers, which potentially could mean krypton never exploded, and she can get to that universe with the help of her friend barry's friend cisco, and she does... absolutely nothing with that information. No desire to visit au!krypton. No desire to see her parents again. No desire to take Clark, who has no ties to his own culture because he lost it as a baby, to go see krypton. Nothing. And like she knows there is life on other planets and it matches the life in other planets on her universe because of the dominators, the alien main villains of that crossover who also exist in her universe. It drove me crazy.

Yeah i definitely went through it. But it made me stronger in the end. Yeah i loved/hated 13 reasons why. It was definitely wild. And thank you so much! One of my best friends says i should write an auto biography, but i can't imagine anyone being interested in reading about my messed up teen years. Like "ooh i was an alcoholic in high school" big deal, like, doesn't make me special. And yeees. My mom is my best friend (not in a norman bates kinda way), we're very close. Recently she's been hinting that it might be better for me to move out because i need to work on independence, and i meed to be free to fornicate at home. I'm unsure if i want that, because i love living with her.

Lol oh i'm like that with scooby doo.

Yeah, i love foggy too. No spoilers (unless you want them) but yeah, very limited foggy. Rumor has it it's basically a cameo. And yees punisher is coming back. I never got into him but he is nice to look at. Especially his nose (i have a thing for noses, i'm weird).

Thank you! I subscribed to you :D

Thank you! I'll try beans with my mom, maybe she'll get that.

Yeah indeed, second opinions are important. And it was definitely helpful! Now I can plan accordingly. And that sounds like a great weekend! I hope you have a great week!

gonna respond under the cut 😎

i think supergirl definitely ruined a lot of the series/crossovers bc they never really tied it together with everything like you said? seemed like a lot of wasted opportunities. i tried to watch supergirl a couple times but quit both times lol. it definitely had a lot of plot holes from what i remember, which honestly isn’t much lol. idk why but dc shows/movies just always seem to fall short compared to marvel stuff, imo. it’s like they just don’t know what they’re doing half the time and just go with whatever

sometimes we have to go through some shit to make us stronger in the end. the show definitely got very dramatic but i loved it anyway and was invested lol, but i can see not wanting to engage with that after all you went through. hey ya never know! your story could be just the thing to help someone out who’s maybe going/gone through something similar. LOL, i do love me some psycho. did you ever watch the show bates motel? living alone (or at least without your parents) is definitely nice! i live with my brother but he’s much more easygoing then my dad so it works. it’s like having a roommate but we get along haha. it’s a big step though so i think it’s ok to take your time and make sure you’re ready!

dang, that makes me sad. kinda weird to do daredevil without him i’d think. that shall be interesting. the punisher was one of my favorites. i really wanted more seasons of that, but i kinda felt that way about all the marvel netflix show lol

oww thanks! hope you enjoy 🥰

beans are a fun way to describe it for me. or it makes me feel less blahh about it lol

that’s always a helpful thing! thanks, i am on a trip with my bff this week but i got horribly sunburned and dont feel like doing anything now lol. hope you’re weeks been good!

[fazedlight]

Dreams (Nia character study/brainia)

It started with a dinosaur. 

A… purple dinosaur.

Of all the things for a teenager to have recurring dreams about, Nia couldn’t fathom for the life of her why Barney was haunting her. Sometimes his green spots would overwhelm him, or glow white - other times, he’d be completely blue. She’d watch in bewilderment before waking up.

Then he started showing up playing the theme song on some sort of flute - I love you, you love me - and she felt like she was going insane.

---

The sleepless nights were starting to get in the way.

All she wanted to do was write about fashion - to share with the world how this form of self-expression was so inherent to being alive, to help people understand that how we present ourselves was an art form in its own right.

All she wanted to do was impress reporter Kara Danvers. Yet there she was, complaining about coffee on her clothes to a stranger who turned out to be her idol, only to later fall asleep at her desk.

Why am I like this?

---

She didn’t catch the name of the man in the pizza shop. Truth was, she was entirely too pissed off about the whole incident to think that far ahead, and her sleep-deprived brain was too exhausted to make the swerve from thinking about the pizza shop owner’s bigotry to figuring out how to flirt with a stranger.

But she did feel a tug of interest that day, and she was kicking herself in the aftermath. Why did I tell him to find me?, she lamented, I should’ve just given him my number.

The mystery didn’t last long, as the stranger reappeared - A friend of Kara’s? Small world - rattling off her address and phone number and other personal details as he reached for a scone. “Why didn’t you call?” Nia asked, laughing.

“You told me to find you, not call you.”

Nia smiled. Another person might’ve found the response creepy, but she found it oddly charming.

---

The dreams were only getting worse. Random shapes and images, or moments that would repeat in real life the next day, or horrific happenings that Nia prayed weren’t real.

Still, the cracks in her shell didn’t start appearing until she found Kara Danvers knocking at her door. Somehow, the blonde’s calm and compassionate demeanor finally let Nia open up - and so Kara became the first person Nia told about her suspicions, that the dreamer powers had come to her. What will Maeve think?, Nia lamented.

Nia wilted under Kara’s optimism, realizing the blonde thought far too much of her abilities. “My dreams aren’t like you think,” Nia asserted. “I don’t even know what’s going on.”

But Kara had a solution for that, too. Brainy strolled in - calling her by an old traditional naltorian name, which Nia found astonishingly odd - and offered to help her.

What surprised her most - more than Kara’s compassion or Brainy’s ability to trigger her dreams - was that she had been able to help in the fight against Agent Liberty.

She supposed that was something.

---

That was not the first date she had expected.

In fact, it hadn’t been a date at all, which had left her in a rather dour mood.

Me? A superhero?, Nia thought, reflecting on Brainy’s proposal. That’s crazy.

---

Someone brought coffee for the team at Catco. One was even her go-to sugar-free vanilla latte. 

That wasn’t the part that bothered her. What bothered her was the “Barney” written on the cup. Suddenly those dreams she hadn’t thought of in years came back to her. Like the dinosaur? “Who’s Barney?” she asked to the room.

“Barney Fife,” Brainy said, “is my name among humans.”

Fife? Like a flute? The damn psychedelic dinosaur flashed in her mind, and she suddenly realized why it would at times shift from blue or green. Oh for fuck’s sake.

---

There was no more running from it.

She dreamt of spiders and black ink and poison. And then her mother had died, and she was forced to reveal herself to save the town. As Maeve bitterly threw her biology in her face, Nia found herself feeling more alone than she had ever been. There’s no turning back now, she mourned.

Life will never be simple again.

---

She couldn’t believe that her idol - in the form of reporter Kara Danvers - could also be Supergirl.

Stranger still was realizing the weight that Kara had on her shoulders, the secrets she carried. Nia had never thought about the burden of heroism, but she supposed she was going to find it out first hand. “Help me train,” she asked Brainy.

It became a burning desire, to honor her mother and heritage - something she could hold onto in the face of her mother’s death and her sister’s rejection. The walls she had built up to avoid even acknowledging her powers seemed to collapse in one fell stroke, and she found herself pushing to the edges of what was possible as the dreamer. Far too quickly, she knew, but if she could just be useful…

But that wasn’t in Brainy’s syllabus. It wasn’t the pace she should be training at. “And now you’re astral projecting,” Brainy said, “That jumps months of training.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Nia murmured, “I just… I move too fast because that’s what I do.”

“That’s what heroes do,” Brainy asserted, “Leaping before one looks is part of the job description.”

Nia eyed him curiously, realizing she had misread the situation. Brainy wasn’t frustrated. If she didn’t know better, she’d think that was admiration in his eyes.

---

She thought things were going well. Until James ended up in the hospital. What use are these powers if I can’t even keep my friends from getting shot?, Nia thought.

She watched as Brainy’s own guilt ate at him, his own fears bubbling to the surface - how he couldn’t protect James, how he almost couldn’t save Kara, how he didn’t want to become the evil mastermind that his family was hoping for.

She kissed him.

But Brainy broke away. “You and I can never be together,” he said. It didn’t really make sense, but all Nia could do was watch him leave. Sometimes a dream is just a dream.

---

“What are you doing?!” Nia asked, as Brainy locked her up again. What’s going on with you?

“You have to go through the portal,” Brainy said nonchalantly. “Once you’re on the other side, astral project.”

“Brainy,” Nia shouted,  “You can’t do this-”

She continued calling his name as he closed the container… but he was gone.

---

She had faked her own kidnapping, then gotten actually kidnapped when she was abandoned by Brainy, then finally managed to astral project and pass on a message - ending up facing a reactor in the middle of gearing up to commit a genocide against her mentor’s people.

It was not a good day.

Nia sprinted to the other side of the reactor, ignoring Brainy’s statistical analysis as she forced a surge of power in the hopes of matching J’onn, trying to overwhelm the reactor into shutting down.

She could hear Brainy, hear the odd cadence of his voice change, going from the cold facade that he had adapted when he locked her into the container, to a confused series of mumbles about Socrates and Monty Python, until he finally seemed to snap.“Stop! Stop what you’re doing!” Brainy shouted desperately, his cadence sounding normal again. “What you’re doing doesn’t make any sense!”

That’s what heroes do, Nia thought as she struggled, unable to reply to him as she focused on pumping energy into the reactor. Leaping before one looks is part of the job description.

She couldn’t move from her spot, couldn’t check the progress of the reactor. She could only try to cause as much power to surge as she could, knowing that J’onn was just across the way, trying to do the same. Is this where we die?, she wondered briefly. Will we save Argo?

The mystery didn’t last, not as Brainy’s words began to break through again. “You’re amazing!,” he shouted, and she almost smiled through gritted teeth. It’s working, she thought, we’re winning. “You’re astounding!” Brainy continued to shout, the joy rising in his voice as he paced. “You’re astazing, Nia Nal… and I love you.”

It was then that the sparks became overwhelming, and all three of them collapsed onto the floor as the reactor blew. The core is self-destructing, she thought gratefully, trying to catch her breath.

Nia turned to Brainy, and was surprised to find him looking overwhelmed. He smiled back warmly. “When this is over,” he said, “I would like to ask you on a proper date.”

Nia’s heart skipped a beat. “Yes, I’ll go on a date with you.”

“I have not asked yet,” he clarified, rising to his feet. “Back to battle?”

Nia bit back a smile. “Of course.”

---

Nia collapsed onto her couch. What a day, she thought, reflecting on the superfriends’ debriefing. “Not every day is like this one,” J’onn had said.

The dizzying moment of the evening had definitely been when Kara - the person she looked up to most, both as a reporter and a neophyte vigilante - had pulled her aside. “Thank you for saving my people,” the kryptonian had said.

Nia smiled at the memory.

She heard a knock at the door, and groaned slightly as she dragged herself off her couch. Maybe that’s the pizza I ordered, she thought, but she felt the briefest flash of a dream - that damn dinosaur again.

She opened the door, finding Brainy on the other side, holding a bouquet of roses. “I am proposing we spend an evening together,” he said, as Nia smiled and took the flowers. “I am thinking of dinner, and… a movie,” he continued dramatically. “Nia Nal, would you go on a date with me?”

Nia grinned. “Yes.”