#i don’t have her as a friend; just to clarify. but we must be in one of the same groups

[fingertipsmp3]

Facebook will jumpscare you for no reason. Like why did I need to know that the girl who used to stalk me is pregnant, and why did I need to know one of my former bullies has just married an ugly man

[ecoterrorist-katara]

Why I feel like Ka/taang is one-sided, despite textual evidence 

ATLA does try to convince us that Katara has romantic feelings for Aang. For example: she seems thoughtful when she realizes that Aang is a powerful bender; she’s offended that he didn’t want to kiss her in the Cave of Two Lovers; she gets jealous when Sokka says On Ji and Aang look good together.

So…what’s wrong with anti-Kataangers? Do we just lack media comprehension? 

To be clear, on their own, these gestures can indicate romantic interest. But at the same time, we have stuff like “Aang is a sweet little guy, like Momo.” We have her ambivalent facial expression after he kisses her before the eclipse, and her hedging during Ember Island Players, and her anger when he kisses her anyway. In the context of these conflicting cues, Katara’s possibly romantic reactions can absolutely be interpreted in a different way, because: 

Acknowledging a friend as a potential romantic interest is not the same as actually being romantically interested in them. (Imo this is something young women struggle with, due to a combination of romance-centrism and heteronormativity that make women feel like they should be in romantic relationships, and that boys and girls who share intimate and deep feelings for one another must be romantically into each other) 

Wanting someone to find you desirable is not the same as desiring that person. (Which is something a lot of women, especially young women, struggle with. Remember all the discourse around Cat Person back in 2017?) 

Being jealous when someone flirts with your friend is not the same as wanting to be with your friend. (Especially when you see your friends as family, or if you’re accustomed to a specific type of devotion from that friend. It is jealousy, and it is possessiveness, but it doesn’t always arise from romantic feelings) 

Growing up in a patriarchal society means that your desires are always filtered through what men want from you, sometimes in an abstract male gaze-y way, and sometimes in a very visceral and interpersonal way when a boy wants you specifically. And Katara’s reactions are just that — reactions. Reactions to what other people — including Aunt Wu, Sokka, Aang himself — have insinuated about her and Aang. She’s not really proactive in her interest in Aang: we don’t really see Aang, romantically, from Katara’s POV. Under the framework of “Katara is reacting to a romantic prospect she’s kind of uncertain about,” it is completely plausible — and indeed likely — that she would sometimes act in ways that indicate romantic interest, in addition to moments where she indicates the opposite. 

Ka/taang shippers often bring up other evidence, like Katara’s despair when Azula hits Aang with lightning, or how protective she is of him when Zuko joins the Gaang. The thing is, these pieces of evidence aren’t necessarily indicative of romantic love. The fact that Katara genuinely loves Aang makes the whole thing more complicated, not less, because — especially at that age, especially when Aang is twelve years old and grew up in a sex-segregated society of monks — it is really difficult to tell the difference between platonic love and romantic love. Their mutual devotion is layered and complex yet straightforward in its sincerity. What was not straightforward, until the last five minutes of the show, is whether this devotion on Katara’s end is romantic. The romantic arc for Katara and Aang is not really an arc, as Sneezy discusses in this classic ZK video. Katara actually becomes more conflicted over time and we never see an event that clarifies her feelings. She seems more interested in him in The Headband than on the Day of the Black Sun, and she has never been more hostile to his romantic overtures than in the penultimate episode. 

And in light of this, it’s pretty easy for fans to fill in the blanks with a different interpretation: maybe Katara’s weird expression after their kiss at the invasion means she didn’t enjoy it; maybe the kiss made her realize that she doesn’t actually feel that way about Aang; maybe against her will and her better judgement, she’s developing feelings for another person, a person who hurt her and whom she fervently tried to hate until he pulled off what is in my opinion the greatest grovel of all time in the form of a life-changing field trip. Maybe. Am I saying that Zutara has more romantic interactions than Ka/taang? Of course not. But ironically, the lack of romantic interactions means that it’s not inherently one-sided, the way Ka/taang became in the latter half of season 3.

I’m not arguing that Katara’s unequivocally not into Aang. Obviously the text declares that she is, because they get married and have kids. But I am saying that there’s a very good reason that so many people, especially women, see Katara’s interest in Aang as ambiguous. It’s not because we can’t pick up “subtle” hints of growing affection. It’s because we know not all affection is romantic, and it’s really easy for someone else’s insistent romantic intentions to muddle what you want.

P.S. I first started thinking about these topics (platonic vs romantic love, desiring someone vs wanting to be desired, etc) in the context of compulsory heterosexuality, a term describing how queer women contort themselves into relationships with men even if they’re not really into men. I saw a post a few days ago joking about why so many queer women seem to be into Zutara. I wonder if part of the reason is because as queer women, we are very sensitive to the ways in which we can talk ourselves into wanting things we don’t actually want, and Katara’s romantic interest in Aang can be easily seen that way. 

[fayes-fics]

(Be)Longing

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: Mutual rescue, mutual jealousy, longing and belonging.

Warnings: None, really. Angst, jealousy, fluff. Shyness and insecurities. Minor character injuries. Time jumps.

Word Count: 5.2k

Authors Note: This is an anon request fill here (request: Benedict x shy!insecure reader, with some angst, jealousy fluff, and all the good stuff. Happy ending, of course.). Sorry it took so long to get to this Nonny; I have no idea if this is what you wanted, and I'm really not sure about it, but I hope you enjoy <3

I: Saved

“Unhand her at once!” 

The smooth, confident, older voice rings out across the village green, and suddenly the pack of nasty bullies who have your arms in a grip seem to melt away from around you.

You don’t even think to pause and thank the person who broke up the mob. No, your fight-or-flight response is in full-on flight mode. The minute your arms are released, and you see the break in the circle, you run. Run as fast as your legs will carry you. Bolting down the road and into the safety of the churchyard near your house. You do not want to run home upset and worry your mother, so you do the next best thing, the thing you are becoming increasingly good at, hiding. You climb a crabapple tree. And then you let the tears flow—just flooding down your cheeks.

You hate this new village your parents have moved you to. Your father, a doctor, had been offered the position as village physician, and now here you are, moved from Surrey to Kent, but it might as well be the other side of the world. You miss your friends. You miss your old village. You are not the most outgoing of people, and the upheaval in your life has been immense. You yearn to be back in your old, familiar, comfortable home.

You are sniffling, taking deep breaths, angrily wiping tears, and preparing to face your family when he appears. 

“Are you alright?” 

You startle. Beneath you, squinting up into the tree, is the owner of the voice who rescued you. Seeing him now, you feel an odd warmth in your ribs. He looks older, maybe fifteen, if you had to guess. He seems benign with a calm face, and his expression is one of sympathy and concern.

“Yes,” you squeak quietly.

“It is safe for you to come down,” he says gently, “should you wish.”

“Are they gone?” you query, wishing you could hide the tremble in your voice.

“They will not bother you again; I can assure you,” he states with absolute certainty.

Your eyes go wide, “What did you do? I don't want to make it worse for my brother,” you fret.

“I told them if they mess with you again, they will have the Bridgerton brothers to contend with,” he nods, with an air that suggests the name is of some local import.

“Is that you?” you ask timidly, not wanting to get down from the tree just yet.

He chuckles. “You must be new here?”

“Yes… we just moved here two weeks ago. Those boys have been tormenting my brother since his first day at school. They appear to have chosen me to pick on as he is not around,” you frown, dusting a twig from your skirt.

“Well, that ends now. Now, do you need help down?” he asks.

“No,” you sniffle, “I am capable.”

“I wouldn't doubt it,” he nods politely and steps aside to allow you space to jump down.

With a quick swing, you do so, landing neatly on your little brown boots. You unfurl to your full standing height, but even then, you have to crane your neck to look up at him.

“Very impressive,” he smiles warmly. “I am Benedict. Benedict Bridgerton. Welcome to Kent.” he thrusts out a hand to shake and, bemused at the formality, you take it and shake as if a businessman, not a ten-year-old girl.

“Thank you, Benedict. I am y/n y/l/n. My father is the new physician,” you gesture vaguely over the church wall towards your home next to the rectory.

“Ahhh,” he nods in understanding.

“And thank you,” you curtsy.

“Whatever for?” he frowns.

“For rescuing me,” you clarify.

“Oh please, that was nothing,” he waves dismissively. “I cannot abide bullies. Or any injustice really,” his eyes appear briefly unfixed, and he looks thoughtful, as if what he said just occurred to him as truth. Then he shakes his head and brings his attention back to you. “You are alright, though, correct? Able to get home?”

“Yes,” you confirm shyly.

“Then I shall be on my way” he tips an imaginary cap at you that makes you giggle, and he smiles goofily before turning away and walking out of the churchyard.

A little part of your heart yearns to follow him, the boy with the hazy, kind eyes and the pleasing smile, who just made your transition into life in the area much more bearable. 

You and your brother are never bothered by that gang of boys again.

II: Envy

“Y/n, this is Miss Clarissa Worthing.” 

Benedict introduces you to the willowy blonde whose hand is looped through the crook of his arm.

“Clarissa, this is Miss y/n y/l/n. She will beat half of my family at Pall Mall once you can coax her out of her shell,” he teases delicately with a friendly glint in his eye that makes your heart flutter against your ribcage.

Clarissa nods in cool acknowledgement, then cranes her neck to whisper something, her lips brushing his earlobe, her regard for you already gone. You curtsy politely, smile weakly and scurry away, feeling clumsy and out of place, unsure of what else to say to this swan-like beauty. 

It's the summer after your fifteenth birthday, and he is back from his second year of university. It doesn't take much to deduce that this is the lady he is currently courting, accompanying him as she is to a garden party at Aubrey Hall. Jealousy clings to your skin like an invisible oily substance and taints your every thought.

Ever since that fateful day when he chased away your bullies, you have carried a torch for Benedict. The year after that incident, you sadly have to attend his father's funeral. Your own father unable to save the Viscount’s life. The forlornness on Benedict’s face as he stood there in the chilly church made your chest ache. You didn’t fully understand why at the time, but your impulse was to go up and wordlessly hold his hand. He looked so utterly unmoored and sad. You didn't, of course; you would never be so bold, but the impulse was so strong, a tingle on your palm that needed to touch him. It was all you could think about for days.

Over the intervening years, your soft spot for him grew with every encounter, the childish admiration morphing into something stronger, a deep-rooted longing. He always seemed to be the one who cared the most—about his siblings, his mum, and even the problems of the wider world. And as your body started to change and you began to feel differently about boys, your feelings for him had another layer of confusing complexity. His was the first face that popped into your head when your friends giggled about boys and talked of marriage. 

Even now, it seems ridiculous to entertain that he would ever pursue you… you are stuck in small village life, the daughter of a doctor, not from a noble family, and he is off in the world, experiencing things you have no notion of. And yet he is the only man you have ever met who intrigues you that way. The idea of marriage not being entirely abhorrent, provided it is to him.

And so you just watch—the perpetual wallflower. Watch as Benedict and Clarissa make the circuit of the party. Effortlessly chatting among various members of the Ton, looking like the picture-perfect young couple.

“Makes you sick, doesn't it?” Eloise’s dry tone pops over your shoulder. 

You smile at Benedict's little sister, just a couple of years younger than you and a kindred spirit at these events, mostly wanting nothing to do with them.

“She is very beautiful,” you offer politely, sipping your lemonade.

“She steals,” Eloise states plainly, making you splutter your drink all over your face and dress, the little immediate crowd of attention it draws to you mortifying. Luckily Benefict is far enough away and otherwise engaged that he does not see it. You are not sure you could live that down.

“That's a scandalous thing to say,” you hiss softly as you blush under the attention of a few strangers and furtively clean yourself with a serviette as best you can.

“Tell that to mother’s silk gloves,” Eloise volleys back, her disgust evident. Apparently oblivious to your embarrassing predicament or perhaps just uncaring of what others think. “She will be gone before the weekend is out, mark my words.”

You don't doubt it, knowing how spirited Eloise is. And how well she has her brother's ear. You know he will instinctively trust what she says as truth. As she marches up to grab his arm and pull him away, mostly, you wish you had more of her bravado, her fearlessness. While you agree with her outlook on many things, you are not built of the mettle she is—not one who draws attention. Still, you watch with a twisted, guilty, but victorious smile as Eloise pulls Benedict aside and has words with him. 

You never hear of Miss Clarissa Worthing again.

III: Jealousy

“Lord Boswell would be a wonderful match, my dear,” your mother smiles encouragingly, handing you a slice of lemon drizzle cake. 

You can't hide the curl of your lip at the mere thought. 

It's the morning after the first ball of the season, just after your twentieth birthday, and you are in the London townhouse your parents have rented for the season, awaiting any suitors to call. Less than three days into your first season, you want the merry-go-round to stop. A dizzying whirl of social engagements you feel unequipped to deal with, wanting nothing more than to be back in Kent, stealing into the grounds of Aubrey Hall with a good book. Perhaps even spend time with Benedict.

Just the very thought of him causes a flare in your belly. Since his return from his studies in Cambridge, he has seemingly moved to Aubrey Hall full-time, spending his days painting the Kentish countryside with hopes of establishing himself as an artist. You have spent more time together in the last year or so than ever before, often finding yourself reading quietly in the shade with Eloise as he paints nearby, his company always somehow a balm as much as a thrill. And it feels as if there has been a subtle shift in how he regards you, giving you the unbearable lightness of hope. Perhaps he sees you in a different light now that you have come of age, no longer the child you were. There have been some moments where he has looked at you and felt it, like a weight on your skin; even as you doubt many other things about yourself, you don't doubt there is something there—a most wondrous and perplexing development.

Your butler bustles in and announces something that makes your heart leap into your throat.

“Mr Benedict Bridgerton has arrived.”

Your mother's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline, giving you a sideways glance. A Bridgerton, even if not the Viscount, would be more than sufficient in her eyes. Especially one known so well to your family.

“To call on Miss y/l/n?” your mother asks, excitement evident in the breathy question.

“Oh no, ma’am, apologies. To see your husband. His brother, the Viscount, has dispatched him here to talk about some business in Kent,” your butler explains, somewhat apologetic as he realises the misconstrued intent.

Your mother’s disappointed face is only a match for your roiling stomach. 

Your father folds his newspaper and jumps up. “I shall meet with him in my study, Jenkins. Please show him there,” and with a nod to you both, he leaves.

It has been just two days since your presentation to the Queen. That had been a waking nightmare. Parading down a long hallway at the Palace to be presented to her majesty filled you with utter dread. All eyes upon you, your every move and inch of appearance judged, and you are certain you were found lacking. Your status is unknown in the Ton; your parents pushing you into the season, hoping for an advantageous match. But you feel they could tell from one look where you belonged—almost invisible, on the periphery, a wallflower. Quiet, reserved, bookish, watching more than participating.

“Lord Boswell is here,” your butler reenters the room moments later.

Your stomach clenches. Your mother can barely contain her glee. You are so confused; you barely spoke two words to the man as you danced the previous night. Your conversation skills were utterly lacking, and he seemingly could not find an engaging topic to broach. You were keen for the music to end so you could return to standing and observing. You cannot believe that awkward interaction would be enough to propel the man to call on you, having said so little to each other just a few hours earlier. And yet here he is, a bunch of flowers in hand and a slightly vacant smile. The fleeting thought of marrying such a dull person makes you mildly nauseated.

Your mother hurries to the other side of the parlour and leaves you to converse, wearing a happy, hopeful expression that you hate to dash. And so you stumble the best you can through small talk. He talks of the weather, his property, and his interests but never asks anything about you—as if he is a candidate for a job you are interviewing for. In some ways, that is perhaps accurate, but part of you yearns for him to show interest in you, not just talk incessantly of himself.

Just as you give up hope of escaping anytime soon, you startle as he lays a hand on yours on the sofa between you. You don't even hear what he is saying anymore, just staring at where his glove covers yours, not liking the sensation, wanting to claw yourself away and withdraw. 

Motion in the doorway makes you look up; Benedict is with your father. And suddenly, your heart is racing. Benedict looks taken aback; something sour in his expression you have never seen before makes you want to run to him and ask what is wrong. But you don't. You do the polite, reserved thing and smile.

“Mrs y/l/n, Lord Boswell,” he greets politely. “Miss y/l/n,” he adds, and you could swear he uses a different, lower register. Something inside you turns pulpy and ripe, blossoming just for him. 

Before you know it, he has taken a seat on the sofa facing yours, shooting you the tiniest of winks that could be an eye twitch, but you know him better than that—seeing the sparkle of mischief in his eye. Your parents seem to exchange nonplussed glances, uncertain why he has chosen to stay.

“Boswell,” Benedict begins, shooting the man his most impervious glance. “What of your qualities make you an ideal suitor for Miss y/l/n here?” he questions.

Boswell splutters and seems taken aback, clearly not expecting such an interrogation, especially from a man who isn't your father or brother. Benedict’s eyes are back on you as the man stumbles through an inadequate and entirely uninteresting response that you do not even listen to. Your whole focus is on Benedict, feeling unable to breathe.

“Hmmm,” Benedict hums as he ends, “and what have you to say about Miss y/l/n’s interests? Are they perhaps complimentary to yours?”

“I… I did not think to ask,” Boswell falters, his cheeks reddening at the faux pas.

Benedict looks almost disgusted. 

“You claim to be interested in providing your suit but ask nothing of what makes her the wonderful person she is?” he scolds, and your mouth opens into a little O of surprise. “Have you not asked her about her excellent marksmanship? How she can shoot an archery target better than anyone else within ten miles of Aubrey Hall? Have you not asked after her artistic skills? You see that cushion you sit next to? That is the work of her fair hand.”

You barely register as Boswell twists to look at the item and then at you; you have eyes for no one but Benedict as he continues, his voice loud and clear even over the sound of your heart pounding hard in your ears.

“Have you asked her about her love for literature and poetry? How she will correct you that it was, in fact, Guildenstern, not Rosencrantz, who enters first in the first folio version of Hamlet?” 

You duck your head and blush. That is precisely what you did to him last year, surprising even yourself with your boldness. And he remembers. 

He continues. “Have you asked about her love of animals? Perhaps you need to hear the tale of Mr Whiskers and how she was able to nurse the beloved cat of my sister Hyacinth back to health. You have not asked her of any such things?!?” his tone incredulous.

Even from the corner of your eye, you can tell that your parents’ faces are as shocked as Boswell’s. And suddenly, you recognise this as a Benedict Bridgerton you have seen before. It’s the one that comes out when defending those he loves against injustice or an unworthy opponent—the staunch guardian. 

“If you cannot find it in yourself to show such interest, I would hope she will entertain better suitors,” Benedict sniffs dismissively. “As a long-term friend, I cannot in all good conscience allow this young woman to be pursued by anyone unworthy of her,” he concludes cuttingly, his nostrils flare, and his lip curls just a fraction as his eyes flit to where Boswell’s hand still rests upon yours.

Even as you struggle through your jumble of thoughts about everything he has said, one question so singular strikes you. Is this is Benedict….. jealous?? Jealous of your suitor? Finding ways to cut into him with his precise knowledge about you? The thought seems so fanciful that you want to dismiss it, but the sliver of possibility it offers is exhilarating. Just the chance of it being true has you utterly undone.

You barely even listen as your father jumps up and, with some belated sense of defence, agrees with Mr Bridgerton and asks Boswell if perhaps he should take his leave and return another day when he has thought of more engaging things to ask of you. Every fibre of your being yearns to talk to Benedict somewhere private, but he gives excuses to leave as quickly as your chastised suitor is dispatched.

Boswell never darkens your door again.

IV:  Rescue

“Penny, for your thoughts,” Eloise smirks as she catches you staring into space on the terrace. Your cheeks blush, and you do not admit to where your thoughts had wandered—to her older brother.

“Will you come with me for a walk?” you ask, feeling the need to get away before you cross paths with the man who has occupied your thoughts more often than not of late.

It’s the week of the midsummer Hearts & Flowers ball at Aubrey Hall, and you are glad to have escaped the hubbub of the London scene and to be back in Kent for a few days' respite.

“No, I would prefer the company of Mary Shelley this afternoon,” she states airily, waving a book she holds.

So you set off alone, walking the grounds you now know so well. You are half an hour into your stroll, admiring the wildflowers along the eastern fringes of the grounds, not far from the village, when you see him approaching in the distance.

Benedict is riding his trusty horse and looks so majestic your chest constricts. Clothed in just a billowing white shirt and beige britches, you have rarely seen him look so informal. Or so very, very attractive. Your palms feel sweaty, and something stirs deep inside your body as you slink slightly into the treeline, hoping to remain unseen. A chance to merely observe this beautiful man, even knowing it is wrong to do so. To spy on him as such. Just as he draws close enough that you can see the flex of his leg muscles under the material, which causes all sorts of sensations in your body, a startled deer darts across the path and spooks his horse.

Time seems to slow as you watch his horse rear up and make the most terrible whinny of fear. 

And then your heart is in your throat as you watch horrified as Benedict loses his grip on the reins in surprise and is thrown violently backwards to the ground.

Bile rises in your throat as you see how his body hits the dirt path, unable to brace for impact. The air fills with a blood-curdling scream that you belatedly realise is your own, and before you know it, you are sprinting. Sprinting towards him. Your whole focus narrows to his body splayed on the ground, worryingly still, as his horse bolts away. Heart pumping wildly and adrenaline coursing through your veins, you pull up to him and skid to your knees.

He is still conscious but barely. Moaning slightly. 

“Do not move!” You bark, and even in his woozy state, he appears taken aback by your ferocity. “I mean it, Benedict!” you bite out as he attempts to move his arm.

He seems to mumble a noise of ascent as you try your best to assess any injuries, having learned some things from observing your father over the years, but you realise he needs proper medical attention. Where you are on the grounds, it’s closer to your home than Aubrey Hall.

“I am going to get my father,” you explain as calmly as you can, “for the love of God, Benedict, do NOT attempt to move until he gets here.”

A wan smile spreads across his face even as he winces in pain. “Hmm, fine. I promise to stay still,” he sighs, “....prefer to do it for the love of you…,” he mutters slurringly before he appears to pass out.

Knowing he has likely struck his head, you try your darndest to put what he said out of your mind. A head injury would be the only way to explain such a comment, even as you are praying he doesn't have one. 

Heart still beating out of control, and not knowing what possesses you, you lean over and press the quickest shyest of kisses onto his lips—pulling back a few inches before he can even acknowledge it happened.

“Don’t you dare go anywhere on me, Benedict Bridgerton,” you whisper fiercely, just in time to see his eyes pop open, hazy and clouded with something you have never seen before. It’s not the pain he is in, though. And it’s not confusion, amusement or even irritation. It’s something else, so blisteringly intense your legs want to turn to jelly.

“I won’t, I promise,” he attests, his tone rough, ragged.

There are a couple of seconds where all you do is stare wildly at each other, and then, with a reassuring squeeze of his hand, you take off running. You have never run so far and so fast in your life; fear makes your muscles work harder than they ever have before. It’s probably only a few minutes, but it feels like a lifetime.

Your parents almost burst out of their skins in shock as you barrel into the house, panting wildly, wordlessly grabbing your father's medicine bag, and he reflexively springs into action. 

You run to the stables and hurriedly hook up the long cart he uses when he needs to transport patients, and the look he shoots you is filled with concern.

“Who is it?” he asks as you climb aboard and direct him.

“Benedict,” you tremble, and there is a world of understanding in your father's eyes as he cracks the whip, and the horse jolts faster. 

Perhaps your adoration is less concealed than you like to believe, but at this moment, you only care about getting him the help he needs. You are grateful your father doesn’t ask questions as you speed along. 

And it becomes a blur as you reach the site, grateful Benedict laid still as you requested. Your father examines him and fires questions that are answered lucidly, tending to some immediate wounds and bandaging in places. Before you know it, you are helping your father with a canvas stretcher and insisting on sitting with Benedict in the back of the cart as your father takes the patient back to Aubrey Hall. 

Never addressing the fact that you grip each other's hands so tight that both of your knuckles go white.

V: Belonging

“You can come in.”

Benedict’s voice calls out, bemused as you vacillate in the doorway, not realising that he can see you in a mirror reflection. 

So at his invitation, you blush and scuttle into his room. Awkward, unsure what to do after your bold, daring, downright impertinent behaviour when he sustained his injuries. Part of you is hopeful he does not remember it.

It’s been two days, and he has made excellent progress under your father's watchful eye. The minute your father had pulled up at the house, you dropped your hold on his hand. And as word spread, it was a frenzy of activity that you found yourself superfluous to. The last you had seen was Benedict being carried inside for a more thorough examination.

Luckily, it turns out he has no lasting damage; his head was uninjured beyond a mild concussion. He is bruised all over, likely has some cracked ribs and has a sprained wrist, but he will be fine after some rest.

“H.. how are you?” your ask quietly, stilted, fiddling with your dress nervously.

“Much better,” his tone soft, “only because of you.”

You look up and meet his gentle gaze. “I merely did what anyone would have done,” you demure.

“Nonsense,” he counters, “you ordered me to stay still and await the doctor. If you weren’t there, I likely would have done myself additional injury being stubborn,” he points out dryly.

You don’t know what to say in response, so you change tack. “Is your horse alright?”

“Yes. Colin found him wandering around the wildflower meadow, munching on all manner of grasses. Never happier, completely uninjured,” he assures.

You nod, glad to hear the news. Then you allow the room to lapse into silence, unsure how to commence your profuse apology.

“I am very sor….”

He stops you with a bandaged hand held up.

“If you even begin to apologise for saving me, well then I shall be most vexed,” he chides, but there is no heat there, a lopsided grin tugging at his handsome features. “Besides, the more pertinent point of discussion is the fearless woman you can be when needed. The person you are becoming, when you allow yourself to, is quite something,” you bow your head as your cheeks heat at his praise. “I would have injured myself months before now had I known I would meet the creature who sits behind that cloud of shyness. Just look at what you did, taking change so very effectively,” he flatters then there is a pause. “Hell, even being brave enough to kiss me.” 

Your head shoots up, and your mouth falls open.

“Oh yes,” he chuckles, “don’t think I forgot that part,” His voice has lowered to a pitch that buzzes right through your being.

“I… I was worried I… I was going to lose you,” you stutter, “and I-I’m sorry that was terrible of me to take liberties like that. Please, please forgive me?” you beseech.

“It was not in any sense of the word terrible,” he disputes, “the exact opposite. There is nothing to forgive. But there is one way you can make it up to me…?” he hedges.

“Anything, please,” you beg, so hopeful of absolution.

He holds out his hands and gestures for you to perch on the bed beside him. Almost without thought, you do so, even as you feel your pulse speeding up. You have rarely been this close, and now you are transfixed by all the tiny flecks of colour in his iris and the hints of stubble around his jaw.

“Kiss me again,” he requests; a finger trails lightly over the back of your hand. “But properly this time. Give me a chance to kiss you back.”

You just gawp at him in utter shock, heart pounding again, just like it was that day. You don't move away. You can't. Rooted to the spot. Unable to stop staring at his plush bottom lip.

“You cannot mean it…” you stutter when you finally find your tongue, disbelieving.

“Does this seem like I do not mean it?” he argues ardently, and before you know it, he is sitting up and leaning in.

And then warm lips touch yours, and fireworks explode inside your chest. 

You feel like you are drowning in the very best way as your lips move together gently. Everything about the moment is sweet and light, but promising more, something tart that makes you want to climb atop him and crush yourself against him. Just as you feel the instinct to open your mouth to him, he pulls back, looking lost and found all at once.

“I need you to know something,” he begins, grabbing both your hands and placing them between his. “It pains me to see you ever doubting yourself or if you belong. You belong. Everywhere you go. You have so much to give to the world,” he states passionately.

“I… “ you falter, wanting to believe him, the version of you he sees.

“You do. Hell, you give me a reason to get up every day. To try. To be better. I would not be the artist I am now were it not for your words of encouragement as I painted all those afternoons.”

You are dumbstruck. You honestly didn't believe he was taking on board what you said. Mostly just encouraging him to follow his instincts when he seemed to doubt them.

“And now it’s time someone did the same for you. Be the encouragement you need. You deserve everything, y/n. And it would be my greatest honour to try to give it to you?” he adds, a gently loving smile lighting up his face. 

Your heart sings as you realise this is the declaration you have been waiting half of your life to hear. Before you can stop yourself, you launch yourself at him, this time being the one to demand a kiss that he happily obliges. 

“I have a question,” you state as your lips part, your boldness growing with every moment. “Mr Bridgerton, were you jealous when I had a suitor?” you tease, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

He chuckles and nuzzles your cheek. “My god, you have no idea.”  You cant help the victorious giggle, basking in the fizz in your veins.

“I suppose it was payback for Ms Worthing. She of the ironic name. She was never worthy of you,” you state passionately.

He laughs with a headshake. “Perhaps it is our ability to rescue each other that makes us so best suited,” he opines. “I do believe we may belong together,” he adds.

And you couldn't agree more.

In fact, you are never alone again from that day on.

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @lilithseve @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz

[thisismeracing]

Pretty Liar | LN4 (Patreon exclusive)

― Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader ― Word count: 5.6k ― Warnings: mentions of food and alcohol; +18! graphic description of sex (p in v, oral - both, fem and male receiving). ― Summary: Ever since Lando was a kid he knew his future would bring fame somehow, always involved with racing and having just what it needed to become a Formula 1 driver, he was happy with everything it entailed, up until said future became his present and he realized there was also a rough side to the fame. That’s why, when he found you – someone who had no idea who he was, he kept his career from you. He would tell you, and he would eventually clarify the situation, he had it all planned, however, all it took was one week. One week for you to discover that what you thought started as a beautiful story, was actually a perfectly told lie. Lando was pretty, but he was also a liar. Now he had to find a way to explain everything, and you had to find it in you to forgive him.

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Some scientists believe that it takes around ten minutes for an average person to make an everyday decision. Yet, the moment Yn’s eyes met Lando’s, and he smiled at her, she knew they would go home together that night, and this exchange took less than a second. 

His face seemed familiar, but she couldn’t remember where. She thought maybe it was from an old Instagram post their friends in common had made. Maybe they saw each other in a pub before. The city wasn’t that big, their crowds were similar, and they were both young.

Lando seemed surprised with the news, “You don’t…know me?” 

“Should I?” Yn asks, quirking her eyebrows with a glimmer of humor in her stare. 

He shook his head before Oliver, their common friend, could say something, “Nah, it’s just…I’m a DJ, I thought maybe you had seen something about me around a party you know?!” 

Yn bit her lower lip, chuckling. “I’m sorry, I’m sure you must be a great DJ, but I’ve never heard of a Lando Norris before.” 

“Now I’m hurt,” the Brit turned to their friend, and Oliver’s laugh boomed around. 

That was how their first interaction went, with both aware of the tension line being pulled. Lando had never seen someone match his energy like she did, and Yn had never felt that giddy with a guy before. When someone grabbed Oliver away, the speakers gave space to a remixed tune of  Zedd and Yn asked what Lando was playing that night, or if he was playing at all. 

He smiled at her showing the small gap between his teeth which she decided was one of her favorite features of his, after his eyes, “It depends. What do you want me to play?”

“Oooh, smooth, I like it!” she giggled, taking a sip of her drink, and using the seconds to breathe in some air. “Would you mind playing Rihanna?” 

“Most recent ones or oldies?” 

“Around 2010s would be perfect.”

“I know exactly the song,” he announced like a promise, and Yn nodded, grabbing his hand, lacing their fingers, and starting to head in the direction of the bar. It would be an hour or so until the pub’s DJ finished his thing. 

“Do you wanna drink something?” Yn stopped to say in his ears now that the song seemed much louder and so did the crowd. Lando’s free hand grabbed her waist, and he shouted back that he had just grabbed his refill, but he was fine going with her. 

Truth was, Lando didn’t even like the bar area that much, drunk people would tend to gather there sometimes, spill their alcohol, scream, and try creating scenes, but something about Yn’s eyes would make him follow her to hell, and they had just met. That felt a tad scary, but he wouldn’t think too much about it, trying to focus his mind on Danny’s words about enjoying the butterflies, enjoying the naivety, and enjoying the nerves that came with it. 

**********************

“I still gotta learn how to bake properly.”

“We could try together. I know a thing or two about sugary recipes,” she suggested. “Meanwhile, you cook the main dish and I make the dessert—” she stopped mid-sentence, putting the palm of her hand on her forehead. “We forgot about dessert, Lan!” 

But the pilot can only grin, watching in awe as her lips pout slightly.

“I didn’t.”

“What do you mean?” her tone started with a confused hint, but when their eyes met and Yn caught the way his gaze drifted  across her body like a caress bringing a shiver along. Her legs instinctively crossed in search of the slight tinge of pressure. 

“Oh, you know exactly what I mean,” his grin was wicked, and the way his head pointed to the space in front of him at the table almost made Yn whimper. Lando pushed the plate and glass to the side, watching as Yn got up and walked to him. The noises of the city came through the open windows, just like the cold wind, creating the perfect harmony with the way her bare steps hit the ground, the slight sound coming from it. 

The legs of Lando’s chair scraped on the ground when he pushed it just a tiny bit to make room for Yn. She sat on his lap, legs on either side of him, caging him in place, and giving him the feeling of her bare cunt against his dress pants. 

“Aren’t you wearing anything under the dress?” he asked, mocking shock on his expression. 

Yn merely shook her head, “It would just ruin it anyway.”

And just like that cooking conversations and random subjects were long forgotten, their lips smashed together in a heated kiss, and Yn moaned into his mouth when Lando gripped her waist and guided her movements on top of him, his cock hardening with each motion. 

*****************

“Come in my mouth,” she rasped, it sounded like a plea, and Lando couldn’t help but give it to her. At that moment he would give her anything and everything she asked for. The way her eyes blinked at him from between his legs, mascara a bit smudged on her cheeks, lips swollen from sucking, she looked like an angel. 

And he couldn’t deny an angel its request.

So when her mouth enveloped him again, cheeks hollowing and tongue twirling Lando gripped the table, hips buckling slightly and body finally succumbing to pleasure. He watched as his cum leaked from her mouth, his dick still spurting the white liquid and making it land on her chin and collarbone. 

Yn grinned up at him, licking her lips. 

He scooped cum from her chin using his finger and she eagerly opened her mouth, sucking his thumb and smiling up at him again. At that moment, he wanted them to be intimate enough, so he could grab a camera and save that image. Frame it. Store it under locks. Have it with him forever. Something about the way she looked and what they had just done stirred his insides again.

“Can I have mine now?” he scooped more cum this time from her collarbone and Yn nodded, parting her lips to him again. 

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, honeybees! I hope you guys liked this piece. I've been meaning to write a long piece for Lan for a while now, and it felt good to put this together, I'm looking forward to writing more for him, let me know if you wanna see it! <3 I wanted to add a huge shout-out to Delia (@struggling-with-delia) for proofreading and beta-reading this (Ily, Dee!).

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[mothtral]

sunday was chained up in the rooms he secretly kept you locked away in. the family knew of the area, of course they did, it’s where they kept the traitors and the highest ranking criminals. they thought sunday was visiting various convicts to gather more information… they weren’t aware someone innocent was hidden away like a prized jewel.

mind you, many of the older members of the family wouldn’t have mattered if you were innocent, but luckily for you, many have been trying to find you for a long time. enough there’s been missing posters of you yellowing on penacony’s streets. a beloved friend of sunday and robin, including other younger elite members of the family. it was too public, them bringing sunday to that room.

so out you went and sunday guided inside. sunday said nothing. he didn’t look at you. maybe, he knew the dream you had, one where you were running through an open field under the sun, your arms spread apart like a bird about to take flight; free.

robin was horrified and bundled you away, she ignored the flinch you gave her when she got too close, too fast. most wouldn’t think you were missing for months, perhaps even years. dressed to the nines in silk clothes and not a single scratch or bruise on your body. the chains sunday used on you were cushioned; he wanted you by his side, not a walking punching bag.

time flew past you at a nauseating speed. you never were one for rollercoasters, or the pin ball transportations in penacony. one thing is for certain, when everyone’s backs are turned, you will leave and never step foot in penacony again.

first, you must do something. sunday took your life from you. but… you never wanted to see him in your place in that little cell.

“come to gloat?” sunday said. he sounded so bitter, tired. it was almost enough for you to take a step closer, to get within range of his telepathy.

sunday… he didn’t treat you badly, per se. you clung to your childhood much like he did; you, sunday, and robin. all brought to the family at young ages, the only ones at that time that were considered outsiders back then. you gravitated to each other, your dream much like theirs as a child.

your dream… you don’t dream anymore. you haven’t for a long time.

“no,” you whispered. you hadn’t spoken a word to anyone since leaving this cell. you hadn’t spoken a word since sunday brought you to this cell. it hurt. “i wanted to say farewell.”

you have never seen sunday like that before. after the words left your mouth, his head snapped up from where he was fixated at the ground, his neck audibly cracking. before, you thought sunday’s eyes looked like the evening sky, soft and sweet, the perfect sunset. now, they looked like threshold to mania, pupils shrunken and nearly glowing; something else was watching you from his gaze.

“you—cannot—leave me,” sunday rasped out, teeth bared and spit clinging to his lips. he strained against the chains holding him back that for a moment, he looked like a beast held restrained by flimsy material it could easily break free from. distantly, you noticed, they no longer held the cushions they did for you. now, they were a sickly purple; you did not want to know why it looked like that.

“i can. i will,” you replied. you thought this should’ve been more emotional; you did not have it in you to be passionate. exhaustion clung to your limbs, but somehow you kept striving forward. maybe it was the inherent stubbornness sunday used to bemoan.

you turned around; you saw enough. it was time to go, your goal accomplished.

“what about our dream?” sunday hissed. behind you, you heard something creak, and knew you couldn’t stick around for much longer.

“it has not been our dream for a long time, sunday. i hope just that one day you realize it wasn’t your dream, as well.” you wondered if you should clarify, let sunday keep this little flicker of a flame, of hope. and you decided you would. “i know i said this was a farewell. we both know you won’t let it remain that. i await the day you find me again. maybe we can find a new dream together.”

[hyuckswoman]

« i’m so stupid to have believed you when you said you would only take a minute  to get ready » your friend hanbin says

the both of you were currently heading towards the gymnasium, actually going to see the basketball match instead of changing your plans last minute like the both of you usually do 

« what can I say? a lady must take her time upon preparing herself » you answer slightly shoving your friend as yes, technically he did have every right to complain but he had been doing so for the past half an hour. 

« lady my ass, you still look just as ugly » your friend says as you gasp and before you could even respond, somebody had beat you to it 

« y/n is not ugly how dare you say that » your friend jaemin (whom you had not seen) accompanied by his 5 friends greeted you 

« yea listen to jaemin i am not ugly » you retorted as hanbin just rolled his eyes and sighed

« what brings you here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a game before » jisung asks, curious and lowkey surprised to see you in an athletic vicinity (the man did not think of you as highly athletic you presume)

« some guy tried to ask her out and since she wasn’t down he also asked me to go to the game with her so we’re here now » hanbin replies all too nonchalantly, you’re low key appalled at the twisted version of the events your friend is telling. 

« that is quite literally not what happened, the guy you see over there just told me i should come to the game and invite hanbin too » you reply clarifying 

« sooo, it’s exactly as hanbin described it » mark said. 

you couldn’t have your man think that he has any competition when it comes to you (not that he cares anyway, this is very much a one sided relationship and you know it). but still, upon seeing the five other men nod you truly start to wonder if all of them are just collectively stupid because they’re men or if you’re the one that’s being dense 

« OH! you’ll get to meet chenle, he’s been wanting to meet you for awhile- speak of the devil there he is! » your friend jaemin starts then waves at a man that is currently running towards all of you 

« you guys actually came -» chenle starts before being cut off by hyuck « yea we did » . while all of the guys sigh and shake their heads you’re snickering as that is 100% a joke you could’ve made yourself, and meeting eyes with your friend hanbin that’s giving you a look that screams ‘this is a joke you could’ve made’ gives you all the reassurance you would need. 

the loud noises erupting from the stadium managed to drown out the voices of the friend group in front of you. it isn’t until you hear your name being said that you realize not only where you are but who you’re with 

« it’s good to meet you, i was feeling left out as i was the only one who hadn’t met you yet. I wish i could speak more but i need to go back to stretch a bit before the match, talk to you after? » chenle asks, to which you only nod before he scurries back to his team

that’s right, chenle IS a basketball player of course his friends would be there.. 

« cmon guys, let’s go sit » jeno hurries all of you as he wants to get good seats before ‘the fangirls arrive’ (you secretly thank god the man doesn’t know about your little mark obsession seeing how he feels towards the basketball groupies)

« dude what if during the game a basketball comes flying to your head and your man catches it going like ‘you alright’ tryna rizz you up just like the meme you posted on twitter yesterday » hanbin whispers, still all too loudly for your liking tho 

« i beg of you to shut the fuck up the man is quite literally three people away from you » you whisper back slightly pinching his arm as he winces in pain.

 you can’t have mark know about your delusions. ever. 

and even though the seating system (hanbin, you, jaemin, jisung, mark, haechan and jeno) would make it difficult for mark to hear the whispers you share about him you don’t want to take any chances. you are practically surrounded by his friends after all. 

and two hours later the match was done, chenle’s team winning of course and you were heading out when the guys stopped both you and hanbin 

« we’re going to celebrate, not sure how yet but you guys wanna join? » jeno asks and hanbin agrees without even caring if you wanted to join them or not. when confronting him the only thing he replied was «what? we’ll probably get free food or drinks outta this, you should thank me ». the audacity of a bitch. 

25. the game

previous chapter masterlist next chapter

notes: i'm back with another (written chapter) hope you guys don't mind the written bits cause there are more coming lol (also sorry to user @jising-jisang-jisung i really tried to make mark say it but i couldn't so.. sorry)

also to the anon that requested the jaehyun or huyk fic i am working on that i'm sorry to be so slow i'll try to publish it asap!

as always, requests/reaction/anything are open and appreciated!! hope you guys have/had a lovely day!

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[kinda-cute-kinda-insane]

BNHA with Idol!reader

How did they got caught having an idol as their s/o?

Characters : Tenya Iida, Jirou kyoka, Denki Kaminari, Shota Aizawa, Shoto Todoroki.

Reader gender is never mentioned, reader is a stereotypical cutesy idol, Aizawa’s reader is in their 20’s (while with the student they are the same age), no content warning I just want something adorable the manga’s been stressing me out lmao. Sorry if I get the first name and last name of the characters mixed up, I’m kind of stupid.

Uraraka have been finding it weird how her friend have been playing some idol group videos lately. She never thought that her stiff class president will be the type to listen to these kind of music. Look she’s not one to judge here she just finds it kind of odd.

She would have expected Iida to listen some kind of classical music, you know like any other rich kids.

So today she will no longer die of her own curiosity “Hey Iida, I want to ask you something serious,” she said. Emphasizing the word serious.

The said man immediately put his attention on her “what is it Uraraka-kun?” He answered. “Not to sound judgmental or anything,” she clarified before continuing. “I’m curious, why have you been watching (group name) nonstop?” She asked. Iida grew tense at the question (if that’s even possible considering how stiff he usually is)

“Oh yeah, I thought I was the only one who noticed that,” Their green haired friend added. While the dual colored hair boy just nodded his head, still chewing his food.

“Well I believe it is wrong to lie to our friends, but I hope you all can keep this a secret,” He said. They all gave him a nod.

He then explained how that one time his pro-hero older brother Ingenium have saved you back then from a creepy stalker. Tensei being the older brother he is tried to get you and Tenya to be together once he noticed that you both were the same age.

He can’t help it, you are such a nice person and he thinks his younger brother really needs to have some high-school romance in his life. Surprisingly you agreed.

You both went to dates (secretly) and you can’t help but find Tenya personality to be so charming, and he could say the same too.

“Although this relationship might seem not professional for the both of us considering their job as an idol and me as a hero in training,” he pushed up his glasses. “I hope you guys can keep our relationship a secret until we both decide to go public our self thank you.” He smiled at his friends.

‘Well that was even more unexpected’ Uraraka thought, but after realizing she began to squeal at how cute you both are. Midoriya is asking a lot of questions, while Tenya tried to tell the both of them to lower their voice down.

While Todoroki is just, well, eating. What a cool guy.

Mina was just minding her own business walking to the dorms living room, only to find a phone unattended on that table. Obviously being the kind friend she is she took the phone to give it back to whoever own the phone.

She turn on the phone to find some band she didn’t recognize, but she saw this on Jirou dorm room before. So this must be hers!

She turn around the phone to see the phone case, just in case if her guess is wrong. To her surprise she see a clear case. But that’s not what took her by surprise, it’s the photo card of (your idol name) sitting back there.

How come she never noticed this? Well this will be some good teasing material to her purple haired friend later.

“Oh hey Mina.” There it is the star of the show. “Have you seen my phone?” She asked. The pink haired girl smiled teasingly.

‘I don’t feel so good about this’ Jirou internally panicked. “Yeah I do,” Mina walked closer. “But, you have to answer my question first” she said.

“Okay, sure,” the purple haired girl answered. Thinking it was probably just a question about who her crush is. If so she can just easily shrugged it off, like always.

“Why do you have (your idol name) on your phone case,” Mina wiggled her eyebrows teasingly. Jirou not expecting the question grew flustered.

Shit, how could she forget about that. She just wanted to put your picture on her phone case as a sign of support on your music career (and also so she can easily stare at your photo when she missed you) she didn’t expect one of her friend to saw it. Even worse that Mina is the one who caught her, oh she’ll be living a hell of a teasing from the pink skinned girl.

“Come on answer me~” she said teasingly. “No reason!” Jirou tried to deny, looking away from her friend.

“Who would’ve thought our dark and mysterious girl Kyoka Jirou is actually a softie who enjoys cutesy music,” Mina poke her friend arms teasingly.

“It’s not like that!”

“Mhm, I trust you girl”

They both went back and fourth with the teasing and denying. Mina flipped the phone to show the lock screen to tease how different her friend true music taste is.

But a notification came up instead, catching both of the girls attention.

‘Y/n 💖 : are you still free for the date next week babe?’ It reads.

They both freezed immediately. “WHAT.” Mina screamed. Jirou tried to shut her friend by putting her hands on her mouth “quiet down!”

“Holy shit you gotta spill the tea to me girl,” Mina said her eyes still glued on the notification.

Jirou surrendered and tell her the stories how you both met because of her parents connection to your group agencies.

Mina agreed to keep her mouth shut, by the price of a signed photo card of you. Can’t really blame her, she’s just a girl.

Kaminari is the kind of person to say some stupid shit on the daily just for shit and giggles.

So when he claimed out loud to his friend group that (your idol name) and him is in a relationship nobody took him seriously. No one, even his best bro Sero. What a betrayal.

But even then he never stop proudly claiming his tittle as your boyfriend. Though it’s kind of strange how he only ever say those things to his closest friend group not the whole class like always.

It’s like he doesn’t want everyone but his close friends to know…

Anyway-

He managed to get himself injured during his internship and you’re worried, ever since the attack on the USJ your worry on your boyfriend has grown increasingly.

But luckily today, your manager actually let you visit him due to your free schedule today. She only tell you to be careful of the paparazzi which you successfully managed to run away from.

“Geez how long did the doctors said you will be here for?” You asked, while feeding him the warm food. “Eh, I dunno,” he shrugged. “I forgot.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Seriously you have to be more careful, you got me worried sick.” You sighed. “Sorry, it’s just how the hero work is y’know?”

“Still, I want you to be more careful next time,” you huffed. “Aw, I’m sorry baby.” He apologized, looking at your cute pouting face.

“Come here give me a hug,” you only stared at him. “Please?” You gave in and stood up to give him a hug.

He enjoyed the warmth of the hug only to be interrupted.

“Holy shit,” both Mina and Sero gasped. While Bakugo just stood there with a scowl on his face at the display of affection(boo what a hater)

“Oh, you guys must be Kaminari’s friends right?” You slowly let go of the hug and gave them a smile. “I think Kaminari have told you guys about our relationship, even though I told him not to.” You looked at him saying the last part. “But, thanks for keeping it a secret you guys” you said giving them all a warm smile.

“Holy shit you were not lying at all,” Sero looked at the both of you in shock.

“Bro?!”

Hizashi has been making fun of his friend Shouta. Because of the merch of (your idol name) scattered around his apartment.

But the dark haired man always claims that those merch was all Eri’s idea. The little girl always say yes about it with a little giggles coming from her.

So today he decided to drag Nemuri to also make fun of Shouta comically out of place idol merch. Compared to his dark interior (besides Eri’s room) it’s just so funny to see (your idol name) poster just hanging there in his living room.

They both stand in front of the door trying to hold their laugh as they hear a song from (idol group) blasting inside of the apartment. A faint sounds of Eri singing along the lyrics.

Hizashi opened the door, that is surprisingly unlocked. They find the living room empty so they both walked into the kitchen to find Eri being carried by-

(Your idol name)!?

You stood there in your casual clothes while holding Eri in your arms as you both waited for the apple pie to bake. “Hi guys!” Eri greeted the two adults standing.

They both stood there with shock in their face to find a celebrity stand inside the home of their friend. Hizashi then let out the loudest scream you’ve ever heard in your life. Your face grimaced at the loud voice ringing in your ears.

“What happened?” Shota ran into the kitchen panicking. Only to find two of his friends standing there “What the hell, what are you two doing here?” He asked. No response from the two of them. The blonde still shocked while the dark haired woman smirked teasingly.

“How the hell did you two even get inside?” He asked in annoyance. “Sorry babe, I forgot to lock the door earlier”

“BABE!?” Hizashi screamed again. “Holy shit this is so entertaining,” Nemuri laughed then reached for her phone, wanting to ask for a picture with you.

“Both of you leave, now” Shouta said, annoyed now that his calm and quiet weekend (with his beloved and daughter) is ruined.

Fuyumi has noticed how her youngest brother have been smiling a lot lately. Especially while on his phone. Truly she is happy to see how cheerful her youngest brother lately but she can’t help it to be so curious on why or what have been making him so happy.

Not to mention few weeks ago he asked her “What flowers do people usually buy for their partner?” Now that got her really curious.

Now she decided to follow her brother on the weekends to see who this mysterious person really is. “Is this really a good idea?” -While also dragging Natsuo into this mess.

“Well I’m just curious on who have been making my younger brother so happy lately,” she said. Natsuo rolled his eyes at the ridiculous excuse from his sister.

But he is also curious. Always being away due to college, he never saw a lot of things happen in the house these days. So to think of his younger brother who usually have a blank reaction suddenly all lovey dovey is kind of funny. And kind of terrifying.

“Maybe he’s just like those other teenage boys who like idols,” He said watching his younger brother walk into a venue where a new group was performing.

“But he bought flowers see?” Fuyumi denied pointing at the flowers her younger brother is carrying. “Fans give idols gifts all the time,” He replied.

“How did you know?”

“Anyway, this is ridiculous just let him watch his concert in peace.” He sighed. “No we must go inside, maybe he’s waiting for them inside.” She dragged her brother to the front gate.

Paying for the on the spot tickets that are quite worth the money. Such dedication thrown to know who this mysterious person is.

“This is ridiculous,” Natsuo said holding the light stick in his hands. Fuyumi only focused on her youngest brother smiling as he watched the group perform on stage.

This went for an hour until eventually the concert is now over. “See?” Natsuo pointed out. “But wait, he’s not leaving yet,” Fuyumi said suspiciously looking at Shoto. “Look!” She pointed at her youngest brother walking away to the backstage.

They both watch from afar as the venue is now empty, only the staff were present. And Shoto, too.

Fuyumi grip on Natsuo shoulders tightened as she see you walking out to greet Shoto. Which he replied with a bright smile.

Shoto then gave you the bouquet of flowers. You gave him a hug and a small peck on the lips before leading him to the backstage to hang out.

The other member greeted him watching you lead him to your changing room. You both enjoyed the food Shoto had ordered for delivery having your own little date.

“Holy fuck.” Natsuo breathed out. “Language! But yes indeed.” Fuyumi scolded then agreed to her younger brother.

Since then Fuyumi started listening to (idol group) music and watching interviews with you in it. And she’s glad to see how kind you are, and she believes you to be as kind and fun as you are in real life. I mean how can you jot charm her younger brother then?

While Natsuo let’s just say he’s been laughing at how ridiculous and funny the situation is. Maybe he’s also kind of envious that his younger brother is already in a relationship before him. Not to mention with an idol too.

[aperrywilliams]

More Than You Know (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

(Not my gif. Credit to the creator)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Summary: You’re Spencer's best friend. You have gone through many things together, but after Spencer is incarcerated, things turn different for both of you. Not to mention you have been in love with him for a long time too. How much will you endure until you can’t take it anymore?

Word Count: 5.9k

TW: ANGST. Strong language. Mention of abduction, drug use, getting shot, death of relatives and loved ones, jail, pregnancy, unsafe sex, and potential cheating. All the deal!

A/N: Not a happy ending, at least for Spencer and Reader. Do you think they could have a chance in the future? (I wrote it as a one-shot, but it makes me kind of sad). Let me know what you think.

Part 2: More Than You Say

Part 3: More Than You Expect (the end)

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I don’t have the habit of arriving early at work. I only do it when it is strictly required. I’m not a morning person. I have never been. So you can guess how my mood turns dark when people push me to let go of some minutes of my precious morning sleep, even when Spencer is the one who asks me to.

He called me this morning at 6 am, telling me he needed to talk to me in person. So we agreed to grab a coffee in our usual place before work.

"Thanks for coming," Spencer greets me when I arrive. A harsh expression adorns his features while I sit in the booth before him.

I can’t help the yawn escaping my lips.

“Did I have a choice?” I ask, gesturing to the barista for my regular order.

“I need to talk to you,” he prefaces, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He looks distressed. I narrow my eyes, thinking about what could be causing it.

“Yeah, that’s what you said by phone when you woke me up this morning. Why you didn’t tell me there what’s going on?”

“I couldn't tell you by phone,” he excuses himself as the barista approaches and hands me my coffee. I thank her, returning my gaze to my friend.

My mind starts racing with possibilities, and my heartbeat picks up its rate.

“Something happened to your mom?” I ask cautiously. Spencer shakes his head immediately.

“No. My mom is okay.”

Well, that discards a big issue so that I can breathe a little.

“Nightmares again?”

I can recall how bad nightmares could be for Spencer. Since Hankel and passing by Emily’s dead, Maeve, and then prison, Spencer is a lightning rod for nightmares.

“No. Not in a while.”

Good. Another bad thing out of the list.

“Headaches?”

A big issue that worsened after Doyle stabbed Emily and led Spencer to Maeve.

“No. I’m good with that.”

Okay, I’m running out of options here. Is it the job?

“The bureau wants you to take longer sabbaticals?”

“No! Not that either.”

I give up. I don’t think anything is important enough to make me be here before 7 am.

“Spencer, I’m lost. Just tell me what’s going on,” I urge, running out of patience and dying to know what this is about.

"It's about Alison," he clarifies, and I can’t help but groan.

Seriously? The problem is a girl?

"Alison?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, the girl I'm seeing lately?" He adds to help my recall. I know Alison, but I won't waste a chance to mess with Spencer, especially considering he made me up early for this.

"I'm sorry. I don't remember that one. I lost track after Lonna," I shrug. Spencer rolls his eyes, knowing what I’m doing.

"Not now, (Y/N). This is important,” he scolds.

I look at him incredulously. What could be so important about a girl he's seeing?

"Okay, okay. Don't be so dense. What happens with the gorgeous Alison?" I ask, sipping my coffee.

"She may be pregnant," he suddenly says with a grimace.

"What?!" I squeal, almost choking on the coffee in my mouth. Spencer looks around us to see if someone is listening to our conversation.

"Shush! You wanna me repeat what I just said?" he whisper-shouts.

"Come on, Spencer. You must be kidding me.”

I take a napkin to clean the mess I made with my coffee.

“I’m afraid I’m not.”

“How come you, from all the people, don't know what birth control and condoms are?"

Spencer's cheeks flush. He is embarrassed, but his need to confide in someone is greater.

This is eating him alive.

"May I forget to use one a while ago? I mean, we were in a rush, and-" I cut him off.

"No. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know the details of your sex life. I'm just concerned about how reckless you have become, honestly.”

The last part isn’t intended to sound that rough. Spencer is a grown man who can do whatever he pleases with his life, but I‘m worried about him. Since prison happened, he has been stumbling and making poor decisions, including fooling around with women.

Spencer's gaze drops to the floor, just like a child being scolded by his parents. I hate to see him like this. I hate to see him hurting and lost. So I recant my grown-up role this time.

"Spencer, look at me." I pause until his eyes meet mine. "I'm sorry if it was harsh; I'm just worried, okay? Now tell me, Alison told you?"

He shakes his head.

"Not directly. But she told me she's been feeling sick, and this morning I - I heard her throwing up. And I am almost sure she didn't have her period last month," Spencer recounts each fact as his breathing picks up.

Great. A panic attack is what I needed now.

"Hey, hey. Just breathe, okay?" I urge, calling his attention. He nods and slowly does what I say.

After a minute, he starts to feel better to speak.

"What should I do?" Spencer groans, with both hands grabbing his head.

In a twisted way, I found the scene comical.

Spencer is asking me what to do. To me.

I mean, what could I even tell him? He's my friend, but this is far ahead of what I could advise someone for.

Let alone someone who I have feelings for.

Yeah. That's the hard truth.

Cliche as it sounds, I have feelings for my best friend. A man who will never reciprocate those feelings. That's how fuck up the situation is.

But after years of keeping that secret, I learned how to mask everything for the sake of our friendship and our jobs.

"For starters, we don't know if she is pregnant. Maybe it is just your paranoia. We must be sure, so you must ask her," I instruct. Spencer looks at me in horror as if I just said he needed to jump from the 20th floor.

"What? No! I can't do that!"

"You can, and you will. You can't keep stressing out about something you don't even know!"

"And what if she is? I should marry her?" My eyes widened at that.

And the people call him a genius.

"Spencer, don't rush to the next town when you haven't stepped in this one first. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You both need to talk and decide if things turn that way, okay?"

He lets out a deep exhale.

"Okay. Okay. You're right."

Even if I want to slap him right now, I know I will never do it. Squeezing his shoulder affectionately, I let out my following words.

"You'll figure it out. Whatever it is, you'll know what to do, and I'll be by your side, okay? You're not alone."

Spencer looks at me with gratitude and a hint of relief. He knows I’m genuine in my statement. He knows I’ll be by his side no matter what.

It always has been that way.

We joined the team almost at the same time. While Jason Gideon recruited Spencer, Aaron Hotchner recruited me. Gideon insisted that Spencer’s brain and knowledge about everything would be an enormous asset to the team. Hotch did the same with me, pointing out how my interpersonal skills and impressive field experience would be valuable to the job. Different reasons, same outcome: being the newest made us closer. And not a long time after, we became best friends.

I was there when Spencer got abducted by Tobias Hankel. I was there when he struggled with his drug addiction. I consoled him when Gideon left and then when he died years later. I cared for him when he got shot in the knee and neck. We cried together when Emily ‘died.’ And after what happened to Maeve, I was there for all steps on the way. The last straw was Mexico and the three months in Millburn. I never missed a visit, and I was by his side when he had to talk to Cat Adams.

And the same way I have been for him, he has been for me. A few months after I joined the team, I got shot in the shoulder, and Spencer helped me a lot. He rode the ambulance with me when I got shot again in the abdomen three years later. He was with me when my dad passed away. Spencer comforted me when one of my long-term boyfriends dumped me. He took a serious role in rooting for me whenever I doubted myself in the job and life.

We know each other like the palm of our hands.

Everybody would have thought our friendship was forged to everlast. And I‘m still adamant about making it that way, even if after a few years of knowing each other, I realized I‘m in love with Spencer. How could I not?

Even at some point, those feelings could have been reciprocal. I noticed things between us changed after Hotch and Morgan left the team.

The stolen glances, the little touches, the overprotectiveness, the subtle flirting. I indulged myself with the idea that it was a natural turn to us be more than friends.

But then Mexico happened.

And things changed for Spencer and me.

The moment we understood what happened and that Spencer would be locked until we could find who did this to him, I didn't rest. I didn't sleep. I barely eat. But I put a brave face on him. I knew he was having the worst time there, so I was who encouraged him every chance I got.

But it didn't matter how hard we tried, how hard I tried. Spencer locked himself and didn't let anyone in. The day he was released, I hugged him first and felt some normalcy. He said how much he missed me, how much he missed us all.

Things went well for a while, but I could tell Spencer wasn't okay. He talked less; he looked distant and disaffected. Sure, Spencer was trying to cope with everything. And as before, I tended my hand to him to hold. And in a way, he took it, but not how it would help him heal.

Our relationship turned instrumental, at least for him.

He started failing in the job, lying to Emily about his whereabouts when he ran late. His mind was distracted more often. If he was reckless at the job before, now it was worse. He snapped more too. And for every time, I was there to cover him up. That's how everyone assumed he was still finding his balance, but I wasn't so sure.

Things worsened when Spencer discovered sex was an excellent way to release frustration. At first, I didn't think it could be a big deal. Getting laid wasn't a big deal. Not ideal for me, but I suppressed my jealousy for his sake. I would choose his well-being ten thousand times before my stupid love for him.

Still, things have not improved. Almost a year after Millburn, Spencer keeps stumbling, getting into trouble, and does not act as he should. I know I have my responsibility quote, but I'm too involved in this cycle to break it.

I want to say at least I have my friend, but that isn’t entirely true. Every time I have needed him in the past year, he hasn't been there. I could tell he hadn’t even noticed I had been losing weight or the doctor’s appointment I had to attend for feeling sick.

I’m alone by myself. It's sad, but I can’t force him. I’m not like that. I would never beg for affection from anyone who doesn’t want to give it, even if I needed it. People would say it is the wrong way, but I cannot be otherwise.

Some days after our coffee shop conversation, Spencer rushes to my desk to tell me the ‘good news.’ False alarm. Alison isn’t pregnant.

Spencer looks relaxed and relieved. Maybe it’s the wake-up call he needs to slow down. My hope is short-lived, though, because while he tells me everything, his phone ding. A smirk appears on his face when he sees the incoming text.

“What is it?” I ask, and Spencer bites his lower lip.

“I have a date,” he answers, typing on his phone.

“With Alison?” I narrow my eyes. He looks at me when he’s done sending the message.

“No! Of course not. I’m not going to make the same mistake again. I told her I needed time to think,” he explains like he’s talking about the weather.

“So you’re going to meet another girl without breaking up with Alison?”

“You can’t break up with someone you’re not officially involved with,” Spencer shrugs.

I want to kill him right now.

“God, Spencer. What are you doing?”

The question is primarily rhetorical, but Spencer answers nonetheless.

“Living, (Y/N). I’m living for the first time in my life.”

Can I argue with that logic? Sure. There is so much I can tell him. But I’m tired. Spencer doesn't see or hear reasons. Not even from me. It seems I have lost the privilege of being listened to by him.

Since that talk, I can’t stop thinking about what I am doing. Am I clasping onto something it doesn't exist anymore?

I don’t know the answer, and I don’t know if I want to get one. I’m just holding until I can’t do it anymore.

And that's how time flies. Things look relatively the same, and I'm just trying to float so I don't drown.

We just ended a gruesome case in Arizona. Our jet landed an hour ago, and everyone is in the mood for a drink. Rossi and Matt are the only ones with excuses to go home early.

Once there, Penelope grabs Luke’s hands and drags him to the dance floor. JJ offers to get us some drinks. Emily volunteers to help her.

Spencer is quiet, looking at me, but I barely notice. My mind is elsewhere.

“Are you okay?” He asks. The question takes me by surprise. In the past weeks, we haven’t talked that much.

“Yeah. Good. The case, you know?”

Spencer nods, but I see the worry lingering.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

I want to say I believe him, but I don’t. It’s been months since I felt that close to him. But even if I don’t believe him, I may voice my concern again.

“I don’t know,” I preface, and Spencer’s attention is full on me. It's weird, to say the least, but I will take the chance. “There is this thing bugging me. About our-” I can’t end my idea before the sound of someone squealing ‘Spencer!’ reach our ears.

The man in question snaps his head up. It's Alison. Before I can say anything, he stands, and after mumbling a ‘sorry,’ he goes to the girl calling his name.

There it goes. Nothing. Again.

I sigh before sipping my drink. What was I hoping, anyway?

JJ and Emily return to our table and ask for Spencer. Not even looking behind, I gesture to my back. They understand.

We set for drinking and complaining about whatever comes to mind. I know they know, but they are respectful enough not to push me.

The night is progressing, and I enroll in conversation with Luke and Penelope when they return from their dancing. After they leave, Emily cracks jokes to make me laugh, and JJ does her best to lose a little.

The sound of glass crushing gets our attention to the bar. There he was. Spencer is between two girls who are arguing about something. I recognize Alison, but not the other one.

“Ups. Someone is in trouble,” Emily mused. JJ shakes her head in a disapproving mood. I see Spencer’s eyes darting between the girls and trying to soothe the argument, failing miserably.

I ponder my options. I can leave him to deal with his mess for once or give him a hand. Emily reads my mind.

“Are you sure?” she asks. I shrug, standing from my spot.

“I wouldn’t like to see him complaining because one of those girls broke a bottle on his head.”

I stroll to where the action is happening, morphing my annoyed look into a confident one.

"Hey baby, I was looking for you!” I chirp, using the most loving voice as my arms wrap around Spencer’s torso.

The girls don’t look happy with my intrusion.

"We were talking with Spencer," Alison says as if I don't know that.

"Yeah, he was about to explain who he’ll choose between us," the other girl adds.

If I could have rolled my eyes, I would do it. Are they that naive? But they have a point: maybe Spencer would do what they want under pressure, even if he doesn't like it. That's why I‘m here. I know him.

"I'm so sorry, girls, but you got it wrong. This man is mine, and believe me when I tell you, you should be walking away right now. You don't want to mess with me, his wife, and the mother of his child waiting for us at home, right baby?" Now I talk to him.

Spencer's mouth goes agape, even more than Alison's and the other girl's.

"Your what?!" Alison yells. Her eyes are a few inches to pop out of their sockets.

"You have a child?!" The other looks as shocked as Alison.

Spencer only stutters incoherent words. They aren’t needed, though. After cursing him and letting out a bunch of expletives, both girls stomp out of the bar.

That’s when I notice I still have my arms around him. I pull away and clear my throat.

"You're welcome," I say before turning into my heels.

Spencer wraps my wrist to stop me. His eyes are curious, examining my features as if reading me. I return an annoyed look.

"What?"

"Why did you do it?" He asks as if he is really intrigued by my actions. It may feel more natural for me than for him.

"To save your ass? Come on, Reid. They would have eaten you alive," I scoff. Spencer chuckles, knowing that it is what could have happened.

"Yeah. But why you saved my ass? You could have feasted with the scandal."

I shrug. For a second, it crossed my mind just to be honest and give him a piece of my mind. But it‘s dangerous territory, so I opt for the safer way.

"That's what the friends are for. Even if you deserve being kicked in your ass sometimes," I try to sound light like it isn’t a big deal.

"Friends, uh?" Spencer points, mulling my words. I don't know why that specific word interests him, but I don’t read into it. "Well, thank you, then."

Now he is grinning as if a heavy weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

"You're going home?" I ask, thinking Spencer only wants to disappear from the bar after the recent events. He narrows his eyes and shakes his head like I’m talking nonsense.

"No. Not when I'm free to have a good time, at last."

"What?"

"Do you see those girls over there?" He points with his look to a group of women giggling and drinking on the opposite side of the bar.

My stomach drops to my feet as I look at him in disbelief.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"To you? I would never. You're my best friend. Thanks again," Spencer says warmly before kissing my cheek and strolling to the group he has spotted.

And here I am, standing in the middle of the bar, with words stuck in my throat and the feeling that the last 10 minutes hadn't even happened. The bartender stares at me with that empathetic look that reflects more pity than anything else. I look back at him and ask for a drink. Since I’m there, I won’t waste the chance of alcohol replacing the burning I already feel in my stomach.

"Don't tell me. You saved his ass just to let him have the chance to screw it up again," Emily summarizes when I return to the table with my drink. Both have seen all the action in the bar that transpired a while ago.

"That's what the friends are for, right?" I mockingly parrot my own words. JJ scoffs.

"I don't doubt your loyalty to Spence. But don't you think it's too much? I mean, you cover him in all your capacities, and he's not taking any responsibility for his actions," she proffers. Emily nods in agreement.

"He has been through a lot. He's lost and needs help," I argue, sipping my vodka.

"We know that. But it's time Spencer takes the reign of his life. Also, it's time you focus on your own," Emily says, pointing her index finger at me.

"What do you mean?" I ask defensively.

And there are again the pity looks.

"We know you have feelings for him. That's more than friendship, we can tell. But it's not going anywhere, and you know it. When was the last time you dated, uh?" JJ questions. Her words stab me right in my chest. I let out a deep sigh.

"Exactly." Emily seconds. "You need to think about what's healthy for you. That doesn't mean you don't care about Spencer, but he must figure it out himself."

As a cue, I turn to look at the bar direction. Spencer wraps his arm around a girl's waist, his lips ghosting her ear, whispering God knows what but making the girl giggle.

JJ and Emily are right. I’m not genuinely helping him. It is just the faint hope that I could make him see me. Really see me.

After another drink with the girls, I decide to go home.

And I decide it is time to let him go.

But honestly speaking, what does that mean? It's not that feelings can disappear overnight. It's not that one day you wake up and say, "That's enough." At the end of the day - feelings aside - Spencer is my friend, and he trusts me even in his darkest moments. But the girls are right when they say friendship goes both ways. It doesn't work if he can't respect my boundaries.

So I went over my limits. What am I willing to tolerate, and what am I not? In the first place, I won’t cover him up in lies in front of the team anymore. If he has to take a scolding from Emily for being irresponsible, so be it. Second, I won’t put up with being the go-to person for any of his mess with women. And finally, I’m not going to justify his behavior to anyone. If anyone has a problem with him, they should tell him directly. I would no longer be an interlocutor between Spencer Reid and the rest of the world.

It didn’t pass long before those limits were tested again.

Some days after what happened at the bar, I arrived at the BAU for a new case. We scheduled the meeting in the conference room at 9:00.

It’s 9:05, and Spencer still has yet to arrive. As expected, everyone is asking me what happened to Reid. I shrug. At the same time, Spencer texts me, saying he is running late and asking me to say he had a problem on the subway. I know it isn’t true, so I pretend I never got the message. That brought him explaining himself to Emily when he arrived all disheveled at 9:30.

Things like that keep happening. Spencer keeps showing up late for work and lies about the reasons. Sometimes he is nowhere to see in the bullpen, only to reappear with his hair untamed and his shirt partially untucked. Those times, opposite to the previous ones, I don’t tell him to fix himself.

Not to mention the number of calls and texts he has sent me in unholy hours to ask me what he should do about his new conquers. Calls and texts I start to ignore. That last behavior is what he resented the most, I could tell.

One morning he shows up at the conference room where I’m checking a stack of files scattered over the table. The rest of the team minding their own business downstairs.

"Are you mad at me?" He bluntly asks. I raise an eyebrow, looking at him from my manila folder.

"No. I'm not,” I reply, unbothered. But if I know Spencer enough, he will not be satisfied with my answer.

"Yes, you are. You have been avoiding me. Last night I called you, and you didn't answer."

He is the one mad at me. Or at least upset. Which one was it? It doesn’t matter; he feels ignored, and he hates it.

"I was sleeping,” I answer with the same flat tone. That spurs more of his anger.

"That's not true. You don't hit the pillow before 1 am!"

Well, Spencer does pay attention, at least for that kind of thing. Months ago, I would have felt flattered. Now? It feels void and just to his service.

"Maybe last night I did."

Spencer scoffs this time.

"I don't think so. I know you (Y/N),” he defies. Maybe he thought I would bite the bullet and apologize for ignoring him.

"Whatever. Why you called me, anyway? Did you want to tell me how your new girl screamed your name in bed?" I deadpan.

Spencer’s eyes widened.

"What?! No! I- I just,” he pauses. “I just wanted to talk to you!"

“Why?” I interject.

I’m so tired of this. I’m tired of the real reasons why Spencer needs me.

His face flushes, thinking of his following words.

“I - uh. We haven’t talked in a long time. Our last movie night was a month ago. And you haven’t called me either. I miss you,” he mumbles.

I huff a laugh. Does he really think I would believe that?

“You see me every day here, Reid,” I say with the same monotonous tone, returning my gaze to the file I’m reading.

Reid. That should have been the sign he searches for, even if his mind isn’t clear enough to put two and two together.

He scoots closer, softly bending down the file in my hands.

“(Y/N), hey. Please, talk to me. Don’t let me in the dark,” he pleads. I turn my gaze away from him. The sadness and the anger boil inside. It’s exhausting.

“I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I want to fix it. Tell me what it is,” Spencer insists, this time with a hand over mine.

I glance at him in silence. Could a look be enough to convey everything stuck in my chest? Years ago, it could have worked with Spencer. The friendship we had back then was stronger enough to make that happen. Just a look, and each one knew what the other was thinking. Now it is just noise that could or not mean something.

How he looks at me now, lost in the signs I‘m giving him and eager for me to say something, tells me what I already know. I wonder if I would let it out this time or bottle it up again.

“I’m just tired, you know?”

My mouth works on its own accord. My brain isn’t able to stop it. Spencer examines my face looking for something to anticipate what could be coming. His clueless is irritating.

“I’m tired of hoping you can realize how badly you hurt yourself—and waiting for you to do something about it,” I blurt, knowing this is not what he wants to hear.

“What do you mean?” He asks, leaning back in a defensive mode.

“You know exactly what I mean. You are failing yourself, Spencer. You still can’t stand your ground. And you keep ignoring it!”

I punctuate my statement by shoving the file over the table. Spencer gets startled by my action.

“If you are talking about what happened the other night in the bar. It doesn't -” He explains, but I cut him off.

“No! It's everything! Can’t you see it? It's the way you lie to your teammates, the way you do your job, like it doesn't matter to you. The way you turn everything into something meaningless. The relationships you have, your job, your friends. Everything!”

Spencer’s face steels. I know he doesn't like being called out. He hates that. But I wouldn’t spare him the trouble this time.

“You are being unfair (Y/N),” he says with gritted teeth, standing to put some distance from me.

“Am I? Oh, no. If something I’m sure of is the unfairness doesn't fall on me.”

I spit back, standing as well to show him I wouldn’t back off. After running his hands through his hair, he turns to me. He has a look of betrayal on him.

Betrayal? The audacity of this man.

"Yes! You are! You, better than anyone, know it hasn't been easy for me! Life - life in Millburn changed me, and it has been so difficult to settle it down. You know that! Those were the worst three months of my life!"

Millburn. It was like a prohibited word for us. He didn't like to say it or hear it from me.

"So that gives you the right to ruin the good things in your life, uh? Because you are a lost soul in this world?” I try to reason, but that only gives me a burlesque laugh from him.

"And what if it were so? It's not like I have much to lose, right?"

And there it is—the broken man. The guy who still believes no one loves him and he doesn't deserve to be loved. All the years of work to put those walls down returned to zero after he got imprisoned.

"Do you really believe that? Do you really believe your self-destructive behavior only affects you? I didn't think you were so selfish, Spencer."

Although I know the answer, I ask nonetheless. And even though I know that selfishness isn’t something Spencer deliberately wants, maybe voicing it could help me to bring him back.

“Selfish? Says the person I trusted with my life, and now it’s throwing everything back to me?”

Or not.

“Stop doing that! Stop assuming everyone is attacking you! If we need to blame someone, of course, we can blame Cat Adams. But now she’s dead, Spencer! And what about you? For God’s sake! You had endured so much in your life, and now you’re going to let that bitch keep destroying you from the grave?”

My voice gets hoarse from the yelling, and for the first time during this conversation, Spencer doesn't spit something back immediately.

The hurt expression on his face morphs into defeat. He doesn't want to fight back. He doesn’t want to get out of the hole.

We keep looking at each other silently, daring the other to say anything.

Spencer tries to mask his glassy eyes, breaking eye contact and looking at the ceiling. And seeing him like this spurs the desire to run and hug him, holding him. But I can’t. I swore not to back down.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). But this is who I am now,” he mumbles after a few minutes.

I exhale sharply. Why is it so difficult for him to understand?

“Keep telling yourself that, but deep down, you know it's not true,” I argue, but with no energy to keep yelling. But it's like fuel to Spencer’s anger.

“Why do you care anyway? Is it because you are my friend?” He mockingly air quotes the word ‘friend.’ “Well, it seems my friendship doesn't satisfy you anymore, does it?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes.

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not? You are not comfortable with the person I am. You don't want my company anymore. You don’t trust me. It's very clear to me.”

I need to get out of here before I say something I may regret or Spencer does it burying any chance of us being okay again.

“Where are you going? Doesn’t feel okay hearing the truth, (Y/N)?”

“You are angry, and we can’t keep talking like this,” I mumbled, trying to pass to the exit door.

“Are you chicken out now? That's how you understand loyalty?” Spencer calls me out this time. He’s testing me, and I can’t take it anymore.

“Don’t question my loyalty. If anything, loyalty is what you have been getting from me since always! Don’t you dare to doubt it!”

My voice is going to break at any minute, and I don’t know what to do to push away this suffocating feeling.

”Let me have suspicions about that,” he scoffs, and I want to cry.

How unfair. How painful.

“Oh no, no, no. Not that. You know what? I’m done. Fuck you, Spencer! Fuck you and your fucking cluelessness and self-loathing. I have been by your side in thick and thin. I have given you everything!”

I bet my screaming is being heard throughout the entire floor right now, but I don’t fucking care. I’m not going to stop right now. “God! Even I would have died for you! But you don’t deserve anything of it. You don’t deserve my loyalty and much less my love.”

I notice how Spencer’s eyes widen with my last sentence.

“Your what,” he barely mumbles.

The secret is out. But it's too late. I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath.

“Yes. You heard right. I said, ‘My love.’ Because I fucking love you. I have been in love with you for ages! But I chose our friendship above all, and what I got? A friend who can’t see beyond his shit. Hell, everyone’s right. I deserve better!”

I can’t stop the tears from springing, and I hate myself for not being stronger to endure this.

“(Y/N)… why you didn't tell me?”

He's being cautious and slowly tries to approach, reaching for my hand.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“(Y/N),” he tries again. “We can talk about this, please.”

I hate this. I don't want his pity. Honestly, I don't want anything at all. I thought saying the truth would help me to lift a weight from my shoulders. Now I just want to run anywhere in the world where nobody knows me. I’m sick, and being by his side, in any capacity, would no do better to me.

“No. We can’t. Too little too late, Spencer. I’m done. I really hope you can find whatever you're looking for. I hope you do. You deserve to be happy. And so do I. Take care, okay? And I’m sorry for lying to you. I told you I’ll always be by your side, but I can’t. Not like this.”

I look at him for the last time, patting his shoulder and giving him a sad smile. He doesn't say anything; he only stands there, following my steps with his gaze until I reach the door and shut it behind me.

——————

Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine​ @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @tvandfanfic​ @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @disaster-in-waiting @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger

[concreteangel92]

Thou Shalt Not Kill - Chapter 9

AU Noah Sebastian x female reader

18+

Summary: Reader is a detective and is assigned to a murder case which she soon connects with previous killings and figures out the religious affiliation, proving there is a new serial killer within the city. Reader soon becomes obsessed with the killers mind and methods and won’t rest until she figures out who the killer is. All while she gets used to working with her new partner on the case, detective Noah Davis.

Warnings: talks of death, talks of murder/killings, use of religion, the starting of stockholm syndrome

Right, I really shouldn’t have to write this but I’m giving fair warning now!!

In this chapter we once again MENTION the passing of someone close to Noah (this AU version of Noah!) it’s been briefly used before and no one had any issues with it.

However I am aware of a lot of drama with another account who has used the death of someone who was close to Noah within their story. I’m going to clarify that I have not read this story, I do not intend to read that story and I have no interaction with this person anymore so I really don’t know the details or how much this trauma has been used but from what I’ve seen/heard, it caused a huge uproar.

My dad passed away 10 years ago, I fully understand the soul destroying pain and would never use something so carelessly! But it’s a huge detail that needs to be here. I can assure everyone that it shouldn’t be mentioned again (unless necessary!) and I hope it doesn’t cause any offence, I’m not going into details in this chapter at all, simply mentioning it to help the story progress.

I hope everyone can understand this and I really don’t want any negative comments, an adult discussion is fine if you really need to talk but not these petty trolls that I’ve been seeing please and no passive aggressive posts, they are childish, just message me if you have an issue

Thank you and I hope you enjoy!!

Tags: @Ima1986 @hayleylatour @reyadawn @thatchickwiththecamera @calleyx13 @english-fucker @darling-millicent-aubrey @malerieee @ithoughtbynowidfeelbetter @softvgold @lilhobgobbler @glccmreid @badomensls @madomens @loeytuan98 @iluvmewwwww75 @rosebushjhj @livingdeceasedgirl @lilrubles @samanthasgone @blackveilomens @hellayeahsworld @lookwhatitcost @doomhands-jr @nojoyontheburn @poisongirl616 @bakanerd @sacredthefran @flowery-mess

MASTERLIST

Chapter Index

9 days had gone by, just over a week you’d been stuck in this basement.

It was the same routine most days, Noah would bring you food or make sure a sandwich and drinks were left for you if he knew he wouldn’t be around, you assumed he was still going to work. Noah had mentioned it once that he was keeping up appearances but for how long was anyone’s guess.

Of course your work believed that you were ‘on leave’ so why would they be looking for you? You would have assumed someone would have tried to get hold of you by now but you were sure Noah has probably taken care of that, he was too smart to make any small mistakes and he kept any conversations like that to a minimum.

Noah had taken the time to bring a load of your clothes and toiletries from your apartment, clearly knowing you’d be here awhile. The days were very long at first, you had nothing to simulate your mind, you actually started looking forward to Noah coming in just so you had someone to talk too.

The times when Noah was here, he sat and ate with you normally, acting like you really were just two friends having a catch up, it was almost unnerving how normal it was.

The first few days you’d spent screaming out but no one heard or came, clearly he wasn’t lying about it being soundproofed. You’d analysed the room a thousand times, trying to figure a way out. The window was far too high for you to reach and even if you could, it was too small for you to fit through.

You’d tried to think of ways to over power Noah when he came in but thinking of all the cases and how strong he must truly be to have executed them, you knew that would be suicide.

Once you’d realised that all chances of an escape were slim, you started to accept your fate, you were completely at Noah’s mercy.

In a strange way, you almost relaxed after that, what was the point in stressing out about something you couldn’t change at this stage, you decided it was better to save your energy and strength for when you needed it, you were sure that an opportunity would present itself when the time was right.

The days had become very long after this however, you had counted every crack in the ceiling, tried to get lost in day dreams in your mind but that only worked for so long.

So now seeing Noah was a breath of fresh air within your day.

Noah had been nothing but the perfect gentleman, he made sure you had all the food and drinks needed, he even brought down fresh bedding for you and took away your dirty clothes to bring them back all clean and folded. He made sure you had clean towels for the shower room that was down here. It was almost like he took pride in looking after you.

“He’s holding you hostage you idiot! This ain’t a holiday hotel!”

Noah would talk about most things with you, he’d discuss history, music, art. He was actually so much more interesting and intelligent than you’d ever realised now you were seemingly getting to know him better, although he was very careful about certain subjects such as the case, work, etc.

Today you were lying on your bed, in your mind you were thinking about your favourite holiday that you’d been on, it felt like a life time ago now but you tried to relive it day by day, picturing that you were anywhere but here in this dark basement.

You heard the sound of footsteps so you sat yourself up, maybe a bit quicker then you should have. The door opened and in walked Noah.

“Afternoon angel, how are you doing?”

You decided to be honest with him.

“Bored, I’m so bored. If you’re going keep me here, can I at least have something to do when you’re not here! There’s only so many cracks around the room I can count before I’ve memorised them”

Noah smiled slightly as your attempt at some humour and nodded.

“Actually I’ve brought you some things today. I realised you must be bored with nothing much to do so I picked up some things from your apartment”

With that, Noah lifted up the bag he’d been carrying and he pulled out some of your books from home and an old radio. The gesture actually taking you back.

“I…uhh…thank you”

“Can’t have that brilliant mind going lazy on me now can we?”

You couldn’t help but laugh with him.

•••••

A couple more days had passed, very much the same as before but this time you actually had stuff to keep you occupied during the days.

Noah was still acting like this was a normal situation, there was no mention of the case or anything over the last few days.

There was one thing about the case that still bothered you however, something you hadn’t dared bring up to Noah incase it triggered a bad reaction. But today you decided you had nothing to lose by talking to him about it. So you waited until he came in with dinner for both of you and you were sat eating together before you approached the subject.

“Noah…can I ask you a question? I need to know something”

Noah’s brown eyes met yours as you clearly peaked his interest, he tilted his head as he looked over you.

“Depends what it is but go on”

You took a breath, moving your food to the side and you tried to make sure you worded everything very carefully.

“Your first victim, Anthony…who was he to you?”

Noah’s expression had become harder to read as he stared at you.

You watched him lick his lips before he answered with a small smirk.

“Still not figured that out detective?”

You shook your head.

“I didn’t really have the time….from what I read however, I assume he was the first. ‘Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images’ but who was he to you? That kill seemed more….personal and it was….different….to the others”

Noah didn’t say a word, he simply ran his eyes over your face but you noticed the relax expression from before was gone.

“He’s a killer…not my friend”

He stood up from his position on the bed and paced slowly, almost like he was calculating his next words.

You felt every nerve in your body on edge, you knew the risk of pushing this man but you’ve done it anyways.

“Anthony Jackson was my first kill, and you’re right, he was different….more sloppy I’d say….I’ve definitely improved on my work since”

Noah stalked closer towards you so you made the point of standing up, mostly so he wasn’t completely towering over you.

“You really want to know angel? Very well. My first kill was the man responsible for the death of my father”

Your mouth fell open in shock at his words and you listened intently to what he had to say.

“After all those years of never knowing who was responsible, when I became a police officer I managed to do some digging and I eventually found him” Noah’s face became very hard as he carried on. “It wasn’t easy, but when I realised it was him, I knew I couldn’t let him go. Would you believe that Anthony was a religious man? And yet he got away with murder, it wasn’t fair that he ruined my life and just carried on living his unpunished!”

Noah was stood in front of you now but you didn’t move away, you now understood, you understood why he started this in first place.

“You said you were raised religious…did you stop believing the da…that day?”

“Yes. I knew that there was no such thing as a god if he could take everything away from me”

You nodded as you took it all in, still be very careful not to provoke him.

“I didn’t do anything for years and years, but once I found him, I knew what my purpose was. As I said, I’ll admit it was more sloppy but that’s what they call a ‘crime of passion’ after all”

You were still putting all the pieces together within your mind, all of it was truly starting to make sense now…apart from one thing.

“If he was ‘thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images’ then why his heart? I can understand the fact he was religious but had murdered someone, from the crime scene photo I saw in that email, I could see religious items in the background. But I don’t understand why the heart was your main focus?”

Noah couldn’t seem to stop the sinister smile from spreading on his lips.

“He ripped my heart out so I simply returned the favour”

The memory of your own dad’s passing suddenly felt so fresh in your chest. You couldn’t help but reach your hand out to touch his, the action causing his eyes to follow your movements, clearly not anticipating it.

“I’m so sorry”

For a brief moment, you actually thought you saw genuine emotion in his eyes at your words. You understood the pain of losing a father young and in such a cruel way.

“He was the beginning of my work, it was poorly executed, but it was what gave me my inspiration, to send a message in the most profound way possible and I’ve nearly done it”

Noah raised his hand to your face and ran his fingers over your cheek gently.

“The thing is angel, we are the same me and you, you get me, you’re the only person on my level. You’re just like me”

Your brows scrunched together as you took in his words, in some ways, you knew he was right but the other part of you knew you shouldn’t listen.

“You know I’m right, even if you try to deny it”

You subconsciously leaned your head into his hand as you mulled over his words. You both had gone through terrible things in life, no one really understood you, especially at work. Noah always believed in you, he knew you could do the job better than most.

Looking up you noticed he had his shirt unbuttoned and his tattoo across his neck was on full display, it was then when you truly noticed the religious symbolism.

Without thinking you brought your hand up to his skin and traced the ink with your fingers, hearing his breath catch slightly as you did.

“Easy angel”

You looked back up into his eyes to see they had dilated, your fingers rested on the side of his neck, your stomach twisted in knots. You didn’t even really know what you were feeling as it was all mixed up together in your mind.

Noah leant his down to you and pressed his lips against yours, he was gentle at first but when you didn’t immediately pull away, his other hand wrapped around the back of your neck and he pulled your body against his.

“Wrong, wrong, so very wrong!”

Noah pulled away, his hands still holding onto you as he stared down at you.

“I shouldn’t be doing this”

Noah smiled at yours words and started to stroke your hair before he pressed one more kiss onto your lips.

“Says who? I am starving, you’re starving. I can taste it on you. Who says this is wrong?”

You continued to gaze up at him, your mind in complete overdrive.

“I…I can help you Noah”

“I really wish you could angel”

And with that Noah turned and walked out of the room, the locking sound ringing in your ears.

[uptoolateart]

Analysis of Adrien - S5 up to Ep 9

I am loving Season 5 so far, and having caught up with all the latest episodes aired in France, I’m more excited than ever.

So, let’s talk about Cat’s behaviour in ‘Elation’. If you’re like me, you were near-screaming at the Marichat kiss - even more so when Cat broke it off, then Mari was akumatised, and then there was more kissy-kissy-meow-meow (my new favourite phrase in life). Their kiss was right out of ‘Amelie’, by the way – adorable. And against a backdrop of a Statue of Liberty, as if reminding us that they’re not yet free.

More than just teasing the audience, Cat’s response was so in character. As Adrien, in ‘Determination’ he told Kagami that he’d started seeing Marinette differently in ‘Puppeteer 2.0′. We can go back even further, to ‘Troublemaker’, where Marinette had her chance to confess her feelings but chickened out and claimed to be just a fan. In fact, every time Adrien says she’s ‘just a friend’, we can substitute this with ‘just a fan’. He’s not oblivious - he’s careful.

Because of Marinette’s explanation for the photos on her wall, Adrien didn’t take her feelings seriously (and, I mean, how surreal must it be to have a friend with a fangirl crush on you?). This is evidenced in ‘Puppeteer 2.0′ when they’re in the car on the way to the museum and he tells Manon that they’re just friends. But it’s clear that his feelings are all mixed up, because he then worries deeply about Marinette possibly not liking him. Then he poses as a statue and she kisses him - and he jumps away.

At the time, we weren’t told why he reacted this way. We never got to see his thoughts when he lay in bed that night, no doubt running it over in his mind again. But we did see a future timestream in ‘Cat Blanc’ where the moment Adrien learned Marinette loved him, he was deliriously happy and told her he’d always felt there was something more than just friendship between them and now he finally knew why. We also saw him stare at her with her hair down and call her beautiful, in ‘Heart Hunter’. Then Kagami pushed herself on him and Mari was suddenly with Luka, and Adrien had no time to sort out his feelings. When Kagami kissed him, he was confused and said he wasn’t ready. He then took a step back from the girls while he tried to sort through his Ladybug problems, which shifted in ‘Glaciator 2.0′ - and the moment he began to evolve for the better was when he listened to Marinette’s love confession for Adrien. It was clear on his face that he was seeing her with new eyes.

By the time we reach ‘Determination’, his admission to Kagami tells us he has loved Marinette a long time but been waiting for her to give some indication that she feels the same, so he can clarify those feelings in his heart. I’ve said before: he’s a celebrity, used to being chased down by fans and receiving declarations of love from plenty of people who don’t know him. As long as he thought Mari was ‘just a fan’, he couldn’t allow himself to open his heart to it being more. But it’s all reached a point where he can’t hide it anymore.

As an aside, I loved the line Kagami gave him about needing to look in a mirror and figure himself out...because ‘kagami’ is Japanese for ‘mirror’.

I also loved the parallel of ‘Determination’ with ‘Frozer’, with Luka and Kagami there again, now pushing a different relationship.

Getting back to Adrien: I think that kiss in ‘Puppeteer 2.0′ was nearly what he needed to see Marinette as a love interest - but she dodged it again. It was almost the permission he needed to think of her as more than ‘just a fan’. He pushed her away because he liked it but needed to sort out his feelings...and, more importantly, because he knew he was tricking her and felt he was taking advantage of her.

Let’s jump back to ‘Elation’, when Cat kisses Marinette and then pulls away, yet again. His reasoning is that he’s behind a mask - he knows who she is but she doesn’t know who he is, and he doesn’t want to take advantage of her. He wants to kiss her but doesn’t want to steal that kiss. It has to be fair, honest and open. She just told him she no longer loves Adrien, so he has to be thinking if she knew it was him, she might not want him kissing her. He did the right thing.

When he says she doesn’t know who he is, again this is all about the idea of fandom. From his perspective, she’s just told him over and over and over again, ‘I’m a super, super fan.’ It’s no accident that earlier in the episode, Adrien was shown running from crowds of fans both as himself and as Cat, and getting infuriated by it. In both guises, he’s a celebrity. He wants someone to love him for him, and Marinette once again made herself ‘just a fan’ in his eyes. Of course he can’t pursue that.

The painful irony is that he has no way of knowing that the whole reason she now loves him as Cat Noir is exactly because she’s finally seeing him for who he truly is. She knows him better than he realises. But how to reveal that without sharing her identity? Alya was right - this stuff can’t work unless they can be wholly honest with each other. I maintain that Ladybug needs to tell Cat about Cat Blanc, if they’re ever going to move forward.

His face, though, when Andre just flat out told him Marinette had been in love with Adrien all that time.... All these years waiting for her to get those words out, and they were finally dropped so simply. This house got LOUD, over that one! You just know Adrien spent the whole night looking back over every single crazy exchange with her, reframing all of it and thinking, ‘Oh my god, is that what was going on!?’ And Marinette doesn’t even know this is in his mind. Now we have Adrien knowing things about her that she doesn’t know he knows, just like she knows about Cat Blanc. Like...what can I even say??

Amazing.

[sunflowergirl522]

Bats

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: you’re in Hawkins for the summer and you bite to show affection.

Word Count: 6109

Eddie Masterlist

You and Eddie have been dating for a while now. You went to a gig his band had and the two of you hit it off immediately. But living a few towns over from Hawkins and being in college you never got much of a chance to see him. So your relationship was mainly through the phone and letters. He’d drive over to your place every once in a while staying for a night or for the weekend but everytime you brought up going to see him he turned the thought down immediately. He was always quick to clarify that it wasn’t because he was seeing other girls or anything he just didn’t want it distracting you from your studies. You knew that though, when he was with you he’d make sure you studied even if you didn’t have a test and that you did your assignments awarding each section you did with a kiss, oftentimes more. But now it’s summer break and you’re on your way to spend a whole week in the Munson trailer.

“Why’re you so distracted today?” Max brings Eddie’s attention away from his trailer back to her as she bounces a soccer ball on her feet in front of him.

“I’m not distracted.” He rests his elbows on his knees as he leans forward.

“Then what was I saying?”

“Uh, something about Lucas’s latest fuck up.” He knows he’s wrong with his guess when she bursts into laughter.

“Dude what’s going on with you today? That wasn’t even close to being right.” She sits on the picnic table next to him. 

“Y/n’s coming to stay for the week.” Max is really the only one out of the group that he talks to about you. They all know about you of course but he likes to keep you to himself so he doesn’t bring you up that much and he’s vague when they ask about you. But since Max is like the little sister he never knew he wanted he couldn’t ever seem to shut up about you when the two of them were together.

“Oh shit that’s this week?” She’s excited to meet you but at the news that you’ll be here today her stomach twists into knots. She’d never admit it to anyone, ever, but she’s anxious about if you’ll like her or not. And she desperately wants you to because Eddie’s the big brother she always wished she could’ve had in Billy and he’s always going on about how he’s gonna marry you someday. Max would love to have you fill in the older sister she never in a million years would’ve thought she could have.

“Yeah.” The smile on Eddie’s face calms her nerves a bit, happy to see him so happy. “I don’t know when she’s gonna get here though we didn’t talk about that last night.”

“It’s still early.” She offers up with a shrug but just as she finishes talking a car with muffled music blasting pulls in next to Eddie’s van in front of the trailer. The door opens and Eddie’s face lights up like the fourth of July as you step out, closing the door with a quick shove before looking up and locking eyes with him.

“Eddie!” He’s up and catching you in his arms before Max even realizes you’re running over. You’re in his arms for all of two minutes before you turn your head to bite into his bicep causing him to laugh.

“I can’t believe you’re here, Bats.” 

“Me either, I almost got lost on my way.” You huff at the nickname before speaking. You were fine with it, thought it was cute even, until he told you about how he got the scars littering his body. ‘I can’t help it if you’re my vampire bat’ is his response when you bring up him not calling you it anymore. “I can’t wait to finally meet Wayne and everyone else.” Eddie talked about his friends a decent amount during calls and when he visited you and you’ve talked to Wayne on the phone a few times when he picked up instead of Eddie.

“Speaking of meeting everyone.” He steps back and over to reveal Max, his hand going to hold your own. “This is-”

“You must be Max!” You interrupt him knowing exactly who’s sitting in front of you. You’re all smiles and excitement that it completely erases her nerves for now and she couldn’t stop herself from matching your vibe if she wanted to.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. He goes on and on about you so often that I feel like I know everything about you!” She gets up to stand in front of you and her words somehow make your smile bigger. You squeeze his hand needing a way to let out all of the love that’s boiling over inside of you.

“Well Eddie absolutely raves about you! Talks about you the most out of everyone so much so that’s it’s crazy to think the two of you aren’t actually related.” You had even thought she was his sister for the longest time before asking him one day when he mentioned going to her place. Something that he had stumbled over his answer because no not really but also yes because that’s exactly how he sees her.

“He does, does he?” She doesn’t let it show just how much that means to her as she looks over at him with a smirk on her face.

“Now Red don’t go blabbing that to everyone, Dustin will never let it go.” He steps forward and brings you into his side wanting more contact with you, still not completely believing that you’re here in Hawkins with him. “Do you have a lot to unpack baby?”

“No, I just have my duffel and backpack.”

“Wanna get all situated and comfortable in the trailer then?”

“But I’ve barely met Max.”

“Max can come with us if she wants, I’ll make some lunch and we can watch a movie or something. You hungry?” You only start to nod before he starts to pull you back to the trailer. “C’mon Red, the lady requests your presence.”

“I really like Max.” You say to Eddie later that night when you’re cuddling into his chest in bed. You absolutely adore her just like you knew you would.

“Good.” He kisses the top of your head before smiling up at the ceiling. He was beyond ecstatic to have you in his arms again.

“I get to meet Wayne tomorrow right?” He was working a late shift tonight but Eddie insisted that you’d be able to see him then instead of staying up all night for it.

“Yeah, he’s off tomorrow so don’t worry about missing him.”

“Okay.” You prop yourself up on your arm then body hoving above his own. “What about everyone else? When do I get to meet them?”

“Well normally I’d be going to movie night tomorrow but I think I’m gonna keep you all to myself a little bit longer.” He pulls you back down on top of him as he speaks causing you to let out a squeal and some giggles.

“No, let’s go to movie night, it'll be fun. You get to have me all to yourself the day after when you show me around.” 

“You really want to go meet everyone that badly?” Eddie’s eyes are shining as he makes eye contact with you as you place your forehead on his.

“More than anything.”

“Then I guess we can go.” He sighs out like it’s going to be the most painful thing in the world for him. You nip the tip of his nose, getting the urge to out of nowhere and his already playful eyes get a new glint in them. “Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be Bats?” He’s quick to flip you over, straddling your hips. “I give in to your begging and you bite me. How is that fair?” His hands are working into your sides before he finishes talking earning him screeching laughter in return.

“Eddie! Stop!” You gasp out the words and he pauses his ministrations just long enough for you to catch your breath and for him to slide his hands up your, his, shirt.

“What do I get if I stop?” His tone is both playful and menacing at the same time in a way that lets you know if whatever you say isn’t good enough he’ll keep going.

“I’ll give you a kiss.” He hums mock thinking about your offer, his hands roaming up and down your waist bathing in the feel of your skin on his.

“Nope, not good enough.”

“What?” You frantically try to back up to escape his hands just for him to drag you back down the bed.

“Give me a kiss and tell me you’ll love me forever.” He keeps his hands firmly on your sides and leans his face over yours.

“Of course I’ll love you forever Eddie bear.” Your voice goes soft and your arms wrap around his neck as you nuzzle his nose with your own. “Now how about that kiss?”

Eddie wakes up first the next morning with a smile on his face at having you in his arms and in his bed. The thought of getting up and leaving you crushing his soul but the thought of waking you up with breakfast in bed and being able to see you light up in gratitude urging him to do exactly that. So he pulls you closer for a minute before kissing your head and sliding out of his warm bed getting dressed and heading to the kitchen where he finds Wayne making coffee.

You don’t wake up much later than he does, the bed is still a little warm where he was sleeping when you do. You lay there for a few minutes beaming up at the ceiling that you’re actually here with him. It’s hard for you to normally be so far apart from him with your love languages being quality time and physical touch. The two of you always made up for the time apart when he would come visit but it was still rough. Which is why you’ve decided that after you graduate you’d move to Hawkins to be with him all the time. You’d been saving up long before even meeting Eddie to be able to get your own place after school so as long as he wants you here you’d do it. 

You throw on one of his shirts and a pair of pajama pants before making your way out of the room excited to finally meet Uncle Wayne. You find both him and Eddie in the kitchen with Eddie making eggs and Wayne pouring his coffee. 

“Is this the famous Y/n Y/l/n I’ve heard so much about?” Wayne smiles your way and Eddie whips around to look at you.

“Sure is!” You gnaw on your lip and shift your weight from one foot to the other wanting to go hug him like you would your own family member but hold yourself back knowing he’s not much of a physical touch kind of person.

“Bring it in kid.” He opens his arms for you and you let out a small happy laugh as you rush into them and accept the hug he offers. Something he doesn’t normally do but he doesn’t know what other way to thank you for loving his boy so much. Eddie can’t help the smile that overtakes his face as he watches it happen knowing how much it’s going to mean to you.

“What’re you doing up darlin’?” Eddie asks as he brings you into his arms after you part from Wayne. “I was gonna wake you up with breakfast.” He pouts resting his forehead on yours.

“Sorry baby, I tried waiting for you to come back but I got bored and I really wanted to meet Wayne.” You peck his still pouty lips forcing them into a smile before pulling away. “So what do you guys do around here?”

You end up spending most of the day binging The Waltons with the Munsons and doing a puzzle Wayne had lying around on the small table in the living room. By the time Eddie’s standing up and telling you it’s about time to get going for movie night you and Wayne have gotten to know each other well enough that you can tell he’s going to be fast family to you.

“Have I told you yet how pretty you look today?” Eddie asks as he holds your door open and watches you step out. You’re a sight in your jean shorts and one of Eddie’s Metallica shirts standing in Steve’s driveway in front of him. “Cause you’re pretty as a picture Bats.” He takes your hand in his own and leads the way to the door.

“I’ve told you before to stop calling me that.” You drop your lips into a fake pout as he knocks on the door.

“Why should I? I’ve got the marks from last night to prove you’re my own vampire bat.” He pulls the collar of his shirt out of the way to show off the hickeys and bite marks you left on his collarbones and shoulder a proud smile on his face as he does so.

“Woah, you burn yourself with a curling iron there Munson?” Steve teases as he opens the door, your eyes go wide and you can feel heat rising up your neck. Eddie’s unphased though, letting go of his shirt and turning to smirk at Steve.

“Can’t help it if my girl wants to latch onto me any chance she gets.” He pulls you into him and you pinch his side for his words.

“Oh, I didn’t realize we were meeting your girlfriend tonight.”

“Hi, I’m Y/n.” All you do is wave and smile as you wrap an arm around Eddie’s waist and hug yourself to him wanting to be as close to him as possible.

“I’m Steve, it’s nice to finally meet the reason for Eddie disappearing most weekends.”

“Are Eddie and y/n here?” Max appears behind Steve and you rush in to hug her.

“Max!”

“I didn’t think you guys were gonna make it.” She melts into your arms feeling deeply comforted by your bear hug. 

“Eddie didn’t want to but I convinced him to come.” The two of you break apart and Eddie comes in to stand next to you and take your hand in his. 

“Come on, now that we’re here Dustin will kill me if I don’t introduce you to him next.”

“Oh hey Eddie! Who’s this?” Robin asks him as she starts to come out of the kitchen as the two of you pass into the living room.

“Sorry Robin, can’t talk.” He keeps pulling you with him passing her by you’d stop him so you could just introduce yourself if you didn’t find the whole thing so amusing. “Dustin, I’ve got someone for you to meet.” He announces his presence getting the heads of the group already settled on the couches to turn to look at the two of you.

“No fucking way, what’s she doing here?” He excitedly gets up and makes his way over to the two of you.

“She’s here for a whole week. Y/n, Dustin, Dustin, Y/n.” His hand motions between the two of you as he does the introduction. 

“Eddie talks about you all the time.” You look away from Dustin and up at Eddie who flushes pink at yet another one of his close friends admitting that to you.

“Yeah so much so I was starting to think you were a myth!” Eddie strides over to the couch to whack Mike in the back of the head leaving you in the entranceway of the living room. You look back over to Dustin after rolling your eyes at your boyfriend's actions.

“He talks about you a lot too. I heard all about that concert in that other realm or whatever the words Eddie used were.” Your face scrunches up as you try to recall what Eddie called that place as you step into the room Dustin leading the way back over to the couch. 

“He told you about the upside down?” Dustin's eyes are wide as you nod. “And you believed him?”

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s got the scars and PTSD to prove it.” When you and Eddie first started dating and he’d spend nights at your place he often had nightmares about it. You’d wake him up and assure him where he was before staying up almost the rest of the night with him trying to distract him from it. 

“I think you’re all super brave for going through it. Especially because you were what twelve when you first had to deal with all of that? I was still scared of the boogeyman at that age.” You still felt uncomfortable being completely in the dark. “Bravest group of kids I’ll ever have the pleasure of meeting and knowing.” Your voice is soft and your attention isn’t on Dustin anymore and rather on Eddie laughing with the other kids but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t stop at the way you say the words, with a sense of pride and admiration for a group of kids you don’t even know.

Before he can figure what to say in response Eddie’s looking over at you with a big smile on his face and holds his hand out. Your own smile gets bigger and you rush forward taking it in your own and letting him pull you close to his side as he introduces you to the rest of the kids. The excitement is evident in the air around you as you greet everyone.

“She’s nice right?” Max stops next to Dustin just a few steps from the entrance. “I can definitely see why Eddie fell for her so fast.”

“Yeah. You met her then?”

“Yep, I hung out with them all day yesterday when she got to town.” She smirks at Dustin before heading over to the group. The two of them constantly compete with each other over who’s Eddie’s favorite. So this is going to come across as a big win for her.

“Oh. Wait what? Eddie!”

Movie night was fun and you absolutely loved meeting Eddie’s little community of friends, his family. Which isn’t something he’s used to describe them in the past but seeing them all interact with each other you know that’s what they are. You and Robin even planned a day for her to steal you away from Eddie for an hour or two to hangout.

It warmed Eddie’s heart to see you get along so well with everyone. He can’t even start to describe the feeling in his chest as he sees you leaning against his van with Max her head thrown back laughing at something you said as the two of you wait for him to finish saying bye.

“I gotta ask, what’s up with the biting?” Steve asks from his spot next to Eddie in the doorway. You had bitten him a total of only twice during the movie so he hadn’t really expected anyone to notice it much. 

Once was shortly after everyone got seated and the movie was starting. Eddie had kissed the top of your head causing you to recline it back from your spot on the floor between his legs so you could look up at him in his spot on the couch. He gave you a quick peck, gaining a smile and a squeeze of his calf before you turned your attention back to the tv only shortly after turning your head to gently bite right above his knee.

The second time was near the end of the movie. Eddie had been tracing your face lightly with the tips of his fingers and when you began to feel like you were going to burst of all your adoration with how soft he was being with you in front of his friends, something no one had ever done for you, you bit his finger the next time it traced over your lips.

“It’s just the way she shows her love.” Eddie shrugs in response. “She either bites or squeezes, it’s like second nature to her, I don’t even think she realizes she does it sometimes.” Sometimes he thought it was like breathing or blinking to you. “It’s cute.”

You look over then and catch his eyes with your own and blow a kiss to him. Eddie’s smile widens as he makes a show of catching it and Steve and Robin share a look with each other. Neither of them had ever seen him smile that big before.

“Love drunk is a good look on you Eds!” She laughs as she speaks. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so full of life and that’s really saying something. You’re naturally extravagant. Get out of here and join your girl.”

“Yeah, we’ll see you around Eddie.”

“Bye guys.” He barely glances back at them, waving over his head, not wanting to take his eyes off of you still deep in conversation with Max. Really he should tell them how he’s glad they liked you and all but all he can think to do is go pull you into his arms and relish in the feeling of having you close until you inevitably have to go back home at the end of the week. 

Eddie fell for you harder and faster than he ever thought would’ve been possible. It wasn’t love at first sight but when he spotted you in the bar in your goddamn homemade Prancing Pony shirt he should’ve known that you were going to be it for him. Instead he just made it his mission to find you after their set to ask you about it which only led to the two of you talking so late into the night that your friend went home and his bandmates all piled into Jeff's car rather than wait for Eddie to be done. It wasn’t until your third date, which was only three weeks after meeting each other, because Eddie could listen to you talk forever and never wanted to stop talking to you so he came up every weekend to take you out, that he realized you were the one for him and he doubted anyone would ever live up to you. Luckily enough for him your mind was on that same track.

“You ready to go Sweetheart?” Eddie kisses the side of your head as he sidles up next to you wrapping his hand around yours.

“Yep, just waiting on you baby.” You squeeze his hand once, twice, three times before pushing off the van. “C’mon Max, I’ll open the back door for you.”

The next day instead of Eddie giving you a tour of Hawkins the two of you end up just curled around each other in bed just enjoying each other's company only getting up to eat. You told him about how you passed all your finals, to which he told you how proud he was of his smart girl and how he knew you could do it, and caught him up on all the gossip in your small college friend group with him hanging onto your every word. Eddie told you about how the bands doing and how you’ll be able to sit through practice this week if you wanted to, to which you sat up in excitement because A that meant you got to see the guys again and B you got to see them all perform again, and he told you stories from when he was growing up in the trailer park.

The day after that Eddie gives you the tour he promised you complete with his favorite places like the picnic table in the woods around the school where he spent a lot of his high school years, the library where he’s planned countless campaigns, and the movie theater where he ends up going all the time with the gang. He took you to lunch at the diner that’s officially replaced Benny’s and then dropped you off at Robin’s telling you he’ll pick you up on his way to Gareth’s.

In the hour and a half that you were over you got to know Robin, the two of you deciding that you’ll be great friends, and you got to meet Nancy. She had shown up about forty minutes after you did. Robin had just greeted her casually while shuffling the cards for the next round of five hundred forgetting that the two of you hadn’t met yet. It was silent for a minute as Nancy looked between you and Robin before she seemed to remember and quickly introduced the two of you. By the time Eddie showed up to take you with him to practice the three of you were in stitches after sharing stories and telling jokes to each other.

“I’m so excited to see the boys again.” You say to Eddie as the two of you walk to the van. You’ve only seen them twice, the first time being the night you met Eddie and the second time being around two months ago because Gareth was craving the wings at the bar they had played at and Eddie had shown up at your door that night to bring you with them, but they were cool and you enjoyed their company.

“I’m sure they’re excited to see you too.” They’ve asked about you a few times since the last time they saw you, about how you’re doing and if he’s gonna let you come visit him anytime soon. Eddie hasn’t said anything about you coming to practice this week so he’s sure they’ll be at least surprised to see you. “Did you enjoy hanging out with Robin?” He places his hand on your knee as he drives away from her house.

“Yeah, I got to meet Nancy. She’s nice.”

“Huh, I thought she was in school for another week. She must’ve just gotten back.”

“I think she said something about getting back yesterday. And something about Jonathan, that’s Will’s brother right?”

“Yeah, they’ve been dating for a while now. I think they’ve been going through a rough patch since she started college though.”

“That sucks.” He pulls up to Gareth's house and stops in front of it then. The garage is open and you can see the guys standing around and talking. They look up as they hear Eddie’s door shut.

“Hey man! Didn’t realize you were here without your music blasting.”

“Yeah well I have a special guest with me this time.”

“Hey guys!” You wave as you round the van and walk up to the garage with Eddie. The group breaks into cheers at the sight of you asking how you’ve been and playfully bullying Eddie for not telling them you were in town.  It took them an extra half an hour to start practice so they could catch up with you beforehand.

“What’re we doing for my last day tomorrow?” You ask later that night head rested on his chest. You didn’t even want to think about it being your last full day with your lovely loving boyfriend but you know that you have to face it sooner than later.

“I don’t know. Probably tie you up or lock you in a cage so you can’t leave and I get to keep you forever.” He shrugs and gives you a teasing smile as he repositions himself to be propped up on his elbow.

“C’mon Eddie be serious.” You poke his side amused with his taunts.

“I could call Max, have her come over for a movie day. Because as much as I want to keep you to myself she’d want to see you too.” He could tell after that first day how attached she was already getting to you. 

“That sounds nice. Maybe we could get that takeout you always rave about since you still haven’t had me try it?”

“That sounds perfect.” He brings you closer to his chest just wanting to feel your skin on his even more. You nip at his shoulder making his smile widen. “I can pick it up and then get your favorite movies on the way back.”

“Perfect.” You yawn through the word and cuddle closer to him.

“G’night Bats.”

“Night Eddie.”

The next morning you wake up to Eddie peppering kisses over your face and shoulders immediately bringing a soft sleepy smile to your face. It’s almost noon by the time the two of you made it out of bed and you went straight to making breakfast while Eddie called Max the girl showing up within minutes after hanging up.

“Smells good in here for once.” She chimes as she crosses through the door.

“That’s because I don’t leave the stove on too high while I cook so the food doesn’t burn. Unlike some people.” You shoot a pointed look towards Eddie who had almost completely burned breakfast the other day before Wayne had shooed him away to take over. 

“What’re you making?” Max makes her way into the kitchen and you give her the task of helping cook the sausage while Eddie gets plates down. 

The three of you sit down and eat, falling into a comfortable silence at times where none of you can think of anything to say. You ask Max about soccer to which she lights up with excitement while she speaks and Eddie tells her about how you grew up playing sports with your cousins on the weekends in your backyard and how you could probably help her practice better than he does since you know more about the game than him. That led to Max asking you questions aimed specifically at figuring out how much you know while Eddie watches and listens in with a smile on his face at how his girls light up as the two of you talk.

The two of you are left there talking about the different sports you watched your cousins play when he leaves to get the take out and stop at Family Video. And when he gets home with food and three of your favorite movies you’ve both migrated to the kitchen to do dishes where Max is telling you animatedly about the time she had a particularly nasty fall while skateboarding recently.

“Red came crying to me to clean her boo boos.” Eddie announces his presence with his joking tone placing the movies and food on the coffee table before joining the two of you in the kitchen.

“I did not!” Max scoffs rolling her eyes while you chuckle at the two of them bickering.

“You totally did, you were bawling like you were a baby again.” 

“You’re such a liar! You were the one who started panicking and making me sit down so you can take care of me.” You smile just knowing that that’s actually what happened while Eddie wraps his arms around you from behind.

“You could’ve gotten an infection.” He defends himself before resting his head on the side of your neck, kissing it softly. “Hey baby. You know you don’t have to do the dishes right? I can take care of them tomorrow.”

“Too late, they’re already done.” You put the last plate over to the side to dry before turning to wipe your wet hands on his shirt.

“You did not just do that.”

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.” You shrug and try to move away before he grabs you. 

“God get a room you two.” Max says before the two of you can start fighting.

“You should change your shirt Eddie baby. I’ll set up the take out and we’ll pick one of the movies.” You peck his lips before moving away and joining the girl in the living room. “Alright Max, Muppets Take Manhattan, The Thing, or Spaceballs to start with?”

“I’ve never seen Spaceballs.”

“Never seen Spaceballs?! That’s first then. Eddie! Why haven’t you ever shown her one of the funniest movies we’ve ever seen?” 

“Woah!” His hands go up in surrender at your small glare. “Calm down, it only came out last year so I haven’t had the time to.”

“Besides, aren't you glad you get to be the one to show it to her?” He adds after taking the movie from you while dropping a kiss to the top of your head.

“Okay, yeah you’re right.” You go to the take out bags to place the food on the table while Max sits next to you on the couch.

Max is asleep by the time the third movie is over, having dozed off somewhere in the middle. And even though it’s only a little after nine you can feel yourself succumbing to sleep as you lean further into Eddie’s chest. You’re stirred slightly out of it when he leans forward for the remote to eject the tape from the VCR, even more so when your source of comforting warmth gets up to take the tape out.

“Let’s get you to bed Sweetheart.” He speaks to you after placing it on the table.

“What about Max?” You yawn, standing up and taking his hand letting him pull you in the direction of his room.

“She’s fine there. Fallen asleep here enough times that Wayne won’t be surprised to find her on the couch when he gets home. I’ll ring her place to let her mom know she’s here after I get you in bed.”

“And then you’ll come join me?”

“Wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.”

You fight with sleep the whole five minutes he’s gone from the room not wanting to waste time sleeping when you leave in the morning. You still fight it after he joins you in bed and wraps his arms around you. 

“Hey Eds?” You turn to face him after a couple beats of silence.

“Hm?” He hums in response, clearly starting to fall asleep himself. He’d never normally fall asleep this early but when it comes to falling asleep with you he can’t help it.

“What if I came to Hawkins after my next semester?” 

“That’d be great. Though hopefully you’ll be coming to visit again before then.”

“What if it wasn’t a visit? What if I came here permanently?” That wakes him up and his eyes shoot open and his mouth drops as he tries to figure out what to say. “I’ll be done with my degree then and besides my parents and the couple of friends I’ll be leaving school with there’s nothing tethering me there. But here there’s you and Wayne and there’s Max. And I think Robin and I could become really good friends. I’ve been saving up for a while, longer than I’ve known you, for my own place so I figure why not just get my own place here. It would be great if you could say something to stop my rambling so I don’t start thinking you’re against the idea or that you might not want me here.”

“Of course I want you here!” He’s snapped out of his daze quicker than you’ve ever seen him snap out of anything ever. “It’s just insane to think that you want to come stay here. I’ve spent most of my life wanting to leave and hating this town just for you to want to live here.”

“Well I didn’t want to ask you about coming to me. You have a whole family here despite how little you seem to realize that. And Hawkins isn’t that bad, it’s really a nicer town than some of the places near me. And if I move here no one will ever give you shit again because then they’ll have to deal with me and I’ll bite their ears off.”

“Of course you will Bats. Put that biting of yours to good use.” He laughs before holding you tighter to him. “If you really wanna do that, move here after you graduate, Hawkins would be a better place for it.”

The next morning after you pack your things into your car and say bye to Max who demanded you call her and write her letters to keep in touch while you’re gone you hug Eddie goodbye with a smile on your face despite how much you already miss him. 

“I’ll come back near the end of next month alright? We can start looking at trailers or apartments then.”

“I’ll be counting down the days Bats.”

Eddie Taglist (29/40):@sadbitchfangirl​ @notbeforelong​​​​ @navs-bhat​ @emotionaldreamer​ ​​​​​ @fangirling-4-ever​  @gaysludge​​​ ​@eddiethesexy​ @mazerunnerrose​ @midnightsgetawaycar   @mushroomelephant @saramelaniemoon @nojamsonmytoast @vintagehellfire @esoltis280 @spikedhe4rt @siriuslysmoking @toobsessedsstuff @alana4610 @gretavanfleas @sparkletash @aactuaaltraash @spookyemorockbabe @jesssssmaybankk @tlclick73 @eddiemunsonslittlemetalhead @bl4ckt00thgr1n @eli-flower @canyonmooncreations

Everything Taglist: @matchamunson​ @bubsonnobx​ @practicalghost​ @katsukis1wife @crustyowos @yourfavdummy @protecteddiemunson4vr @kennedy-brooke @m00nkn1ghts @rory-cakes

[alcoholfreenayeon]

your jealous tzuyu thoughts sound amazing... how about describing them more? i need more dom!tzuyu on tumblr!

A/N: You are so right about that🤭also I’m sorry it took so long to finish this😭💔

Aching for more…

Tzuyu x fem!reader

CW: suggestive, mild smut

You were feeling a bit tired of repeatedly introducing yourself to the people but since there were so many people here who wanted to meet your girlfriend you had to bear it. It was her moment after all. An hour later, the crowd had spread into little groups and you had your girl to yourself for a few minutes. Like always, you teased with a witty comment before looking at her with a proud smile. The two of you were chatting happily when Tzuyu was called and you were left all alone.

You sigh in resignation accepting that you wouldn’t have Tzuyu until you both went home. As you take out your phone, you saw someone approaching you through your peripheral vision. However you paid them no attention until they started to introduce themselves. Looking up, you saw that it was a pretty girl, she looked somewhat familiar.

“Hey Y/n, you look really good tonight”, she complimented.

You politely thank her with a smile, she’s sweet, you think to yourself.

“I’m surprised someone like you is alone though, I’m sure we can have fun together. I tried some of the food and it’s really good, wanna grab something?”, she continues.

You feel a bit skeptical as it felt like she was suggesting something while intending for something else. Nevertheless, you thought it would seem a bit rude, like it was just trying out some of the food, right? You decided to go against your gut and followed her. She led you to the snack bar and handed you a plate of rolls.

“So, how come you are alone here?”, She asked again.

“Uh, I am actually here with Tzuyu”, you clarify tentatively.

“Wow, really?”, something about her tone changed but you couldn’t tell what exactly, “If I were her, I would keep a pretty one like you at my side at all times you know”, she says and smiles suggestively.

“Oh…uh…well, I-”, you stammer as you didn’t expect her to be so straightforward.

“Come on, you know it’s true. Why don’t you let me…entertain you till she comes back…”, she smirks and puts a finger on your cheek.

Before you could reply, a hand grasps your shoulder from behind, “There you are Y/N, I was looking for you”, Tzuyu says with a forced polite smile.

“Oh, Tzuyu, I can-”, You panic, realizing how the whole thing must have looked to her.

“It’s alright, that’s just how she tries to make friends”, Tzuyu says politely but her tone sounds hostile. "Its about time we leave anyway, its getting late."

You gulped as Tzuyu grabbed your hand tightly and led you out. “We are going home now”, she said sternly.

The drive back was in complete silence. You didn’t know whether you should explain the whole thing to her or not. It seemed like the girl and Tzuyu knew each other but didn’t like each other at all. As you both enter your home, Tzuyu suddenly grabs you by your shoulder and turns you around, so you face her and stares at you intensely for a brief moment before just as suddenly she begins to kiss you aggressively. A few seconds later, she pulls away and pushes against the wall, locking both your arms above your head with her hand and looks at you sternly.

D-did she just push you against the wall??!! "T-Tzuyu, what-", You squeaked but she cut you off by covering your mouth with her hand.

Y/n, you aren’t allowed to talk right now. I still can’t believe you took so long to tell her off. That really upset me you know. Don’t you know that you only belong to me. “She spoke with anger, no, it was more like frustration.” Now I am angry and now you are responsible for what I’m going to do.

She then proceeds to turn you around and push you against the wall again, grabbing your hair and pulling your head back, kissing you aggressively while groping your chest with her free hand.

You couldn’t do anything but let Tzuyu do as she wanted as she had completely pinned you. You were feeling a bit guilty because you didn’t mean to upset Tzuyu at all, you were just trying not to cause a scene. You wanted to explain to her what happened from your perspective, but you also didn’t want to stop her kissing you. Especially with the unexpected aggressiveness and possessiveness she was showing, something about it felt…right. Like you wanted Tzuyu to do as she liked while you were completely helpless.

As your thoughts were processing what was going on, Tzuyu finally stopped kissing you and only then did you realize as you were huffing how out of breath you were. But Tzuyu wasn’t done yet, lifting your face so you could look into her eyes, “You look so pretty…...”, her hand gripping your chin slightly tighter while she pulled back your hair harder as well.

For some reason, you began to blush really hard, surprising yourself, you hadn’t been shy or nervous or anything in almost forever around Tzuyu. So why are you feeling like this now. Was it-

Your thoughts were interrupted as Tzuyu suddenly leaned in again, causing you to exhale sharply, and began to make out with you once more. A whole minute passed, and she showed no signs of stopping. Almost another minute now and you were out of breath now, “T-tzuyu”, you weakly moaned, “C-can’t breathe….”.

Hearing that, Tzuyu reluctantly pulled away slightly, both of you panting hard now, looking at each other with primal desire. You were feeling very hot, pressing your legs together tightly and being looked at like that by Tzuyu didn’t help. She started to lean in again and you eagerly closed your eyes, impatiently waiting to feel her lips again but were instead a bit startled when Tzuyu whispered in your ear, “Let’s go to our bed”.

You made your way there somewhat hastily, your thoughts hazy. Tzuyu followed you, seeming completely relaxed and stopped at the doorway, leaning against the frame, smirking as she watched you try to undress quickly.

“Stop.”, she practically ordered you causing to be startled as Tzuyu speaking with such authority was still surprising to you. “Just lay down”, she commands which you obviously follow. Unsure of what to expect from this new Tzuyu but nevertheless you are still quite excited in anticipation of what she’ll do to you next. She then finally enters the room, looking at you like prey, her eyes burning with desire.

She walks gracefully up to the end of the end and then in one smooth swoop, leans over you, placing her hand on your chest and slowly moving up onto your throat where just for a moment her grip tightens before she stops it at your jaw. She examines your face for a moment before making you look at her, “Y/N, you’ll be good to me, won’t you?”, she asks while gritting her teeth.

You nod eagerly but Tzuyu stops you. “Don’t just nod, say it out loud. That you’ll be a good girl for me.”, she orders, squeezing your cheeks.

You couldn’t believe Tzuyu, YOUR Tzuyu was going to make you say that out loud but right now you felt completely vulnerable to her, she could do whatever she wanted to you, and you would accept. You were feeling like doing anything for her. “I…. I am going to be good for you, I promise.”, you promise her. “Good girl”, she replies approving of your obedience. “Now we can continue”.

She then goes on to strip you, stopping to play with your boobs. Groping, squeezing and even lightly slapping them as she pleased. You already really turned on and all this was now really starting to drive you insane. You needed her NOW, but she was happy to take her own sweet time, practically torturing you. You wanted to scream in frustration but with the way Tzuyu was behaving right now that might not be the wisest idea to get your release, so you keep yourself quiet for now.

Tzuyu smirked to herself, proud of the effect she was having on you. She was beginning to get used to ordering you around, it was really fun. Hearing those little whines and whimpers from you as she explored your body. The way you were desperately spreading your legs each time her hands went down low. How cute of you to be so eager.

After what seemed like eternity, she finally moved her hands down to your pelvis, tracing her fingers softly over it causing shivers down your legs. When she finally touched your entrance you gasped, her fingers feeling so cold. Tzuyu rubbed her fingers in a circular motion, smirking, “Wow Y/n, you are so wet. You have been wanting this really bad, haven’t you?”, she whispered while nibbling on your earlobe. “Don’t worry I am going to take care of you”.

You could only moan in reply. If this was just the start of the main event, then all that suffering was worth it because she barely touched you and you already feel like you are in heaven. After feeling you for a few moments she finally put her fingers in you earning another gasp from you. Going knuckle deep with 2 fingers, Tzuyu began to work her magic and you felt like you could cum within moments. As if that was not enough, Tzuyu used her free hand to play with your chest.

“oh, your moans are so cute”, Tzuyu whispers, really trying hard now and it pays off almost instantly. You feel like all the air in your body has been sucked out, your eyes start to roll up, your hips begin to buckle, and you feel like your stomach is tightening and that’s when it all stops. You softly gasp, expecting a massive wave of shocking pleasure but nothing happens. In fact, your pleasure seems to be fading rapidly and then out of nowhere Tzuyu takes her fingers out of you. You feel really confused, like what is happening….

Tzuyu smiles prettily at you, “that was really fun Y/N”, and then kisses you with some passion but it feels one sided since you don’t kiss her back. Still clueless to what is happening. “T-tzuyu? I…I didn’t cum…”, you manage to say weakly.

She smiles, a hint of mischief in her smile, “Yes, I know that Y/N”.

“But…….”, you try to question.

“Mmmhhmm” She chides in, “Consider this as punishment for letting someone else flirt with you for so long.”, She then cups your cheek for a moment and gets up. “But if you are good tomorrow, I will make it up to you”, she adds before leaving you there, messy, horny, and unsatisfied.

You lay there, taking a minute to process Tzuyu just completely edged you and left. Gritting your teeth in frustration, you cover yourself under a blanket and contemplate, wow she REALLY just left you hanging for something that was NOT your fault. And she wants me to be her good girl, you scoff to yourself. I am going to be the biggest brat to her and then I will see how long Miss Iamsuddenlysomommy tolerates that then.

“You can’t even make a girl cum”

“I don’t think your mouth can do what it claims to talk about”

“You are just pretending to be so dominant right”

You smile to yourself as you think of all the things to say that will just piss Tzuyu off enough to come back for seconds.

[pinkeoni]

The Great Jonathan Byers Conspiracy

(Or, Jonathan was framed and I'm going to prove it)

So I started a rewatch of the show and I'm on episode two of s1. I get to the part towards the end where Jonathan is taking photos of Nancy. So I think "Okay. This is the part where we see Jonathan take a photo of Nancy topless, right? We see him notice Nancy take her top off and then raise the camera to take another photo, right?"

But that's not what happened

The scene happens as follows. We see Jonathan snap a photo of Nancy— with her shirt on— before the scene cuts inside of Steve's room.

Nancy then removes her top. Nancy and Steve start making out and we cut back to Jonathan who lowers his camera.

This is the part where I expected Jonathan to lift his camera up and start taking more pictures. That's how I remember it happening. But no, we instead see Jonathan focus his attention back to the pool and snap a picture of Barb instead.

So what the hell? Am I being gaslit?

I remember so distinctly a moment where we see Jonathan consciously raise the camera to take another picture of her topless, and yet it's not there. I do still want to clarify however, that the topless photo of Nancy does still exist. We see it clearly in the following episode. So yes, Jonathan did still take a photo of Nancy topless, we just don't see him take it.

But according to a lot of people online, we did see it, the Duffer Brothers just removed it.

I remember hearing about this when it first cropped up, which was partially prompted by the Duffers joking to "George Lucas" Will's birthday in season 2, which they never ended up doing anyway. They also stated on Twitter that no scene had ever been digitally edited, and didn't plan to in the future.

So the Duffers must be lying, right? Otherwise why how would so many people remember seeing that scene? I guess there’s no way to be sure without a DVD or Blu-Ray of the show.

But wait, I have a DVD of season one. I got it for Christmas! But I’m staying at my parents house and I don’t feel like driving three hours just to prove a point. I guess all is lost for the moment.

Unless…

It was at this part of my spiraling that I sent a crazed two minute voice memo at 11:00 at night to my roommate and good friend @lemonsoured filling him in on my conspiracy, and then leaving instructions to go downstairs, locate my season one DVD on the living room shelf, put the DVD into my PS4, go to the end of episode two and take a phone recording of the scene in question.

And lo and behold, the scene of Jonathan taking pictures of Nancy, exactly as it appears on Netflix.

So I am aware that in the video there isn’t much to indicate that this is in fact a recording of the DVD and not a recording of the Netflix version, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. But still, ask any DVD or Blu-Ray owner for what is on their disk, and I can garuntee that they’ll all give the same answer.

Because the shot of Jonathan taking the photo of Nancy never existed. The Duffers aren’t lying. The masses collectively lied to themeselves.

But how did this happen? How did a massive audience full of people, including myself, come to believe that there was a moment of Jonathan consciously taking that photo?

I’ll tell you why. It was a psyop to defame character!

Usually when a new season of Stranger Things rolls around, there comes the flow of comments on twitter saying “Hey, remember when Jonathan took a photo of Nancy changing and now she’s in a relationship with him?” which is usually done in the name of trying to bring down Jonathan and build up Steve.

And I’m not doing this to try to claim that Jonathan is a completely innocent baby who actually did nothing wrong. After all, the topless photo does still exist and as @notmybabies pointed out in the replies of one of posts, Jonathan chose to go through the process of developing it anyway. So he’s not completely off the hook. If the Duffers did want to eradicate Jonathan’s faults, then they would have digitally edited the topless Nancy photo to a different one, something that would have been possible.

But you ever notice how it’s always “Jonathan is a creep” and never “Steve called Nancy a slut and Jonathan a queer?”

I adore Steve, but what I’m trying to see is people seem to try and diminish the depth and complications of both of these characters, and it usually results in fans making Jonathan out to be a sex depraved pervert who has always had it out for Nancy, while Steve is their angel who could do no wrong. Steve couldn’t have had a good redemption arc if there wasn’t a place for him to grow from!

They never want to acknowledge that Jonathan was a lonely kid who made a bad mistake which he apologized for while looking for his brother and that Steve was a different person before he decided to change. Eliminating these character’s depths is eliminating what makes them interesting characters! Neither are completely pure and neither are completely evil!!

So in conclusion:

[rendy-a]

Luck of the Draw

@writingforatwistedworld

An author I read recently expressed interest in reading what others would write about her Self-Aware TWST AU. This is a fan piece I've written for that AU. Check out more of their Masterlist here!

AU summary: When downloading TWST, an error occurs resulting in the game using data from your phone to fill in blanks in the TWST program.  As a result, all the Self-Aware TWST cast view you as the mythical Overseer of legend and develop a yandere level obsession with you.

I was in the middle of painting the roses but…I guess I can’t turn you away if you need something.  You frowned slightly at the line.  When your friend told you about Twisted Wonderland, you had dismissed it as another phone game in the sea of phone games.  Your friend was so persistent though, that you eventually let them talk you into it.  When you agreed to download the game, your friend had nearly vibrated with joy and immediately gone into advisor mode; telling you tips and handing out suggestions for when you started the game.  “You know, everyone has a Riddle or Leona card to borrow.  If you think about it, Trey is the smart choice for those defense tests.”  So, when the time came for your free SSR roll, you had taken their advice and re-rolled for Trey.

You know it’s only a game but occasionally you feel like you’ve made the wrong choice.  Sometimes when you logged into the game, you enjoyed seeing Trey all dressed up in the bright Heartslabuyl uniform.  Only, then he’d say his voice line and it had a way of rubbing you the wrong way.  He was just so…pushy.  Tea Parties and croquet matches are both special, traditional events in Heartslabyul.  As the vice dorm leader, I have to work hard for them.  So, give me some praise, ok?  You scoff and say lightly, “Great job Trey.  Those roses sure are extra red today.”  Maybe it is your imagination, but it feels like he smiles even brighter when you say that.

Then there are times where the mood feels terribly awkward.  You’d only agreed to try this game because your friend insisted that it wasn’t a dating game but when Trey offers you certain greetings…it makes you so uncomfortable.  I like hats, so I have several of them.  This one is a special one I had custom made to match our dorm uniform.  I’d be happy to have one made for you so we can match.  You offer what feels like a forced chuckle to the screen, “Maybe next time.”  It felt an awful lot like turning down a classmate you had no romantic interest in but still had to see at school.

You mentioned it to your friend and they laugh.  “You must be talking about Malleus.  Everyone says his lines feel borderline romantic.”  When you clarified that you meant Trey, they gave you a weird look.  “I don’t remember anything like that…”  You opened the game and tried to show your friend but the lines you could trigger seemed far more mundane than what you’d been experiencing.  You clicked back and forth from lessons to home several times to try to trigger one of the strange dialogs but to no avail.  It was just eerie.

The next day, you decided to keep a notepad and pen by your bed, so you could write down some of the crazy things you hear from Trey when you log in.  And, come morning, he does not disappoint.  There's nothing better than wearing clothes you are comfortable in.  Except maybe having friends that make you comfortable.  If your friends are making you uncomfortable, you can always come to me instead.  This one was new, even to you.  You gave your device a raised eyebrow and jot down the line.  Then you drag your phone with you to the bathroom (lessons can run while you do your morning routine!) and start brushing your teeth.  You almost spit out your toothpaste on the floor when your random gacha draw pulled a Dorm Leona card.  You thank the gacha gods; now you can swap out your home screen character without feeling disloyal to your SSR’s.

You talked with your friend at school and they seemed extra freaked out for you but, honestly, you feel much better.  You’d just push your strange Trey card to the back of your roster and never think about his creepy voice lines again.  Leona was a fresh breeze of air pushing the past few weeks of troubles from your mind.  You logged in far more than usual today, just to hear his new lines.  Before bed, you pressed your lips to your screen, wishing your new favorite a good night.  Things were so much better with your new man in your life and Trey was just like a bad memory.

The morning was not what you expected.  You opened the game to find Trey back on your home screen.  You looked at it in alarm as he greets you with a stern look.  You are coming to our next Unbirthday Party.  I’ll be waiting to hear what you think of my preparations for you.  It feels almost sinister.  You move to stand from your bed but find yourself unexplainably weak.  You tumble to the floor, your head resting near your phone.  The last thing you see is the ever-widening smile of Trey.  “I’ll see you soon, dearest Overseer.”

[hlficlibrary]

HL FIC LIBRARY ✤ AUTHOR REC

AO3: crinkle-eyed-boo

Tumblr: @crinkle-eyed-boo

STATS:

✤ Number of fics: 11

✤ Posting Since: 2018

TOP 5 FICS:

1️⃣ Mine Would Be You {E, 114k}

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

2️⃣ Own the Scars {E, 144k}

“But I don’t belong here,” Louis insists. “Why do you say that?” James asks. “These people are all drug addicts and alcoholics,” Louis shrugs. Something sparks in James’ eyes. “And you’re not?”

Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

3️⃣ No Bunny But You {E, 13k}

“So you saw the bunnies then?” Harry clarifies, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Yeah, those were a bit of a surprise,” Liam huffs. “I mean, they definitely weren’t part of what we commissioned from him, but they’re kind of cute, right?” Harry sputters a laugh. “What?” Liam asks, the furrow in his brow deepening. “They are cute little bunnies!” “Cute little bunnies that are fucking,” Harry snickers. “What?” Liam gasps. “Liam,” Harry says, trying to school his face into a serious expression. “Those bunnies are fucking.”

A slow Monday night behind the bar turns into something else entirely thanks to a new mural and a new customer.

4️⃣ Let Our Hearts Collide {M, 76k}

“Liam is in a coma.” “Yeah, we can see that,” the father says, throwing his hands in the air. “God, this is the most depressing Christmas ever,” the blonde sister mutters. “His vital signs are strong,” Dr. Higgins assures them. “Brain waves are good–” “Brain waves?” the mother wails, taking Liam’s hand in hers. “Oh my God!” “How did this happen?” the father demands. “Um, he was pushed from the platform at the subway station,” Harry pipes up. The entire family turns to look at him, confused. Harry shrinks back, wishing he could have just kept his big mouth shut. “Who’s this?” the father asks, pointing at him. “Um, I’m Harry–” he starts. “He’s Liam’s fiancé!” Jade adds helpfully from where she stands by the door. Every jaw in the room drops, including Harry’s. Oh, shit. Shit shit shit. What?

When Harry, a lonely transit worker, saves the life of the handsome commuter he's been secretly pining for, an innocent mistake results in Liam Payne's family believing that Harry is engaged to their son. In the Paynes, Harry finds the big family he's always longed for...and a love he never saw coming.

A While You Were Sleeping AU

5️⃣ There's Such a Lot of World to See {E, 125k}

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Harry asks, thumbing at Louis’ hip. “Like what?” Louis asks breathlessly. “Like you’ve seen a ghost or summat,” Harry muses. “You did it all the time the other day and you did it just now.” Louis swallows hard, studying him intently. “You remind me of someone,” Louis says softly, tucking a curl behind Harry’s ear. “Someone I lost.”

Louis has seen a great many things throughout his travels in time and space, but only one he can’t explain: He keeps meeting the same boy, who says the same thing to him each time. The boy should be impossible.

Maybe he is.

A love story that defies the boundaries of space and time. Doctor Who AU.

HIDDEN GEM:

💎 I'll Still Feel the Same Around You {E, 2k}

He finds himself wishing that the bedsheet would slip down a few more inches so he could get a good look at Harry’s perfectly pert–

Louis’ breath hitches as his cock stirs, suddenly very interested in this train of thought.

Oh.

Oh.

The answer to all of Louis’ troubles is so fucking obvious he can’t believe he didn’t think of it until now.

Nothing puts him to sleep like a good orgasm.

Louis finds the cure for his insomnia in the form of his husband.

[wisteria-cherry]

in which you meet remus lupin

(marauders drabble)

(sirius x reader if u squint)

(wanted to try it out)

“sorry, um, do you have a partner?” you ask the wizard next to you awkwardly. he totally disregarded you, instead going over to another wizard who promptly punched him in the shoulder in a playful sort of greeting. you sigh. wonderful.

you were in a predicament. it was your first class of the year— history of magic— and professor binns had gratefully allowed partners for your newest research paper. normally, you would’ve partnered with your best friend, but she moved away over the summer and now attended beauxbatons in france. you didn’t have any other friends. you’d never felt the need to make any other friends. but now you were stuck.

you watched, growing increasingly embarrassed by the second, as the each member of your new class found their premeditated partner. you could’ve sworn there was an even number of students, but alas, you were the odd one out.

“pads, come on, it’s for one period. you’ll live.” you turned your attention to the door. everyone did, actually. a tall boy with honey blond hair was entering the room and a slightly shorter (but still quite tall) boy was following dramatically.

“moony, you can’t possibly be okay with this! they separated us, how could they?!” the slightly shorter boy, whose hair was a pretty raven color, whined. the blond looked very tired, and very done with the raven-haired boy’s antics.

“there’s nothing we can do about it now, padfoot.” you squinted. you’ve heard those names before.

those must be the marauders. the famous/infamous foursome of gryffindor boys who were known for two things: 1) playing epic pranks and 2) getting in trouble for playing epic pranks.

“surely there is!” padfoot— sirius black was his real name— insisted.

“padfoot, you’ve got a class right about now, don’t you?” moony— remus lupin— sighed.

“well, yes, but—“

“then go to it.”

“moony, you can’t be serious—“

“you’re right, i’m pretty sure you’re sirius.” remus replied absentmindedly as he looked around the room for an open seat.

“that was so not necessary!” sirius groaned.

“then go to class.”

“ugh, fine!” sirius made a big, dramatic show of leaving the room, declaring his final farewells. “tell my mother i hate her!”

“i’m sorry about that.” remus approached professor binns, handing him what was most likely a tardy pass. “what’d i miss?” professor binns explained the assignment out of your earshot. then they both looked to you and you instantly looked away, caught red-handed (and now red-cheeked). another minute of talking and suddenly he was coming towards you.

“er… professor binns said you need a partner?” remus greeted awkwardly. “i’m remus.”

“yes, that’s right,” you answered hesitantly, maybe somewhat stiffly, as remus clearly spared no expense in calling you out. “i’m (y/n). are you my partner?”

“if that’s alright with you.” remus answered.

“okay. let’s just get started, shall we?” you sit down, pulling the chair next to you out for remus.

“thank you,” remus said, clearly relieved as he sat down and you explained the assignment.

the two of you begin to work, and you were pleasantly surprised by how well you worked together. remus did his fair share of the work, and offered appropriate constructive feedback when you asked, not unprecedented. he’d ask for feedback as well, although you found that remus was doing the project really quite well, so there wasn’t any need for any.

“so… what was that earlier?” you ask, deciding that it small talk was alright at the pace you two were going.

“oh, pads.” remus rolled his eyes somewhat playfully. “sirius, i mean. he’s just very upset that all four of us are separated for an entire period.”

“you mean the marauders,” you clarify.

“yes, the marauders.” remus confirmed. “but that’s all it is. he’s just very dramatic about it is all.”

“i see that.” you crack a smile. the loud, booming bell then rang, marking the end of the class. you and remus both close your books.

“well, i’ll see you, then,” remus stood up.

“right, see you.” you smile. “i’ll probably be in the library working during lunch.”

“oh, i’ll come with you, then.” remus offered.

“are you sure?”

“of course.” he confirmed, giving you a small smile of his own. “i’ll just have to tell the others where i’ll be, i’ll meet you there, yeah?”

“sounds good.” you put your belongings in your bag before waving and heading out.

remus arrived at the library as promised, but so did the other three marauders.

“i’m sorry, i thought…” you trailed off, completely and utterly baffled.

“alright if they stay?” remus asked apologetically. “they’re very clingy, see, and they didn’t like being away for an entire class period. they won’t be much trouble.”

“i… don’t see why not.” you reply, dumbfounded as sirius and james started to shuffle through your notes, with peter going on tiptoe to look over their shoulder.

“very smart stuff.” sirius black said solemnly before turning to you. “so, you’re our dear moony’s partner?

“i— i suppose i am.” you stutter, not expecting him to actually talk to you.

sirius black, the school heartthrob. shiny raven hair that brushed just past his shoulders and framed his face nicely. a face that had sharp but not too angular features— jawline, cheekbones. stormy grey eyes that weren’t quite cloudy but weren’t quite piercing either. he was pretty, and he knew it, always flirting with any girl that would put up with him (they either adored him or hated him) and always having one by his side, that is, when he wasn’t with the other marauders.

“take care of our poor little moony, won’t you.” james potter grinned at you.

james potter, the closest the marauders had to a leader. always at the front. always laughing the loudest. always doing the brunt of the work in their pranks. he was also infamous for his crush on lily evans, who was, to his credit, very beautiful. he was the very definition of gryffindor— brave, loyal, and quite possibly very reckless.

“i’m sorry.” remus apologized again.

“it’s okay. let’s just get started.” you smile encouragingly as remus sits down. you didn’t so much as touch your quill to the parchment when they spoke again.

“hey, you’re cute,” sirius piped up. “fancy a date?”

“erm, no thanks.” you blinked, glancing at sirius confusedly before returning to your work.

“are you sure? promise i’ll make it worth your while.” sirius grinned.

“leave her be, padsy, she’s got smarter things to do.” james punched sirius’ shoulder as he snickered. “just because you haven’t got a brain doesn’t mean you should prevent others from using theirs.”

“i have too got a brain!” sirius insisted, ruffling james’ hair. “i’m smarter than you are, my homework shows it!”

“oi, not the hair!” james protested, trying in vain to slap sirius’ hands away.

“oh, it’s always messy anyway, you oaf.” sirius laughed as you tried desperately to focus on your work. by some miracle, remus was laser focused.

“how are you focusing?” you whispered to remus desperately.

“years of practice.”

“hey, what’re you two up to, anyway?” sirius suddenly came out of nowhere and pulled out the chair next to you, plopping himself down and scooting his chair closer to your hunched over self.

“pardon?” startled, you turned to face sirius.

“lemme see.” sirius repeated. his face was very close to yours, but he didn’t seem to mind. on the contrary, he seemed to enjoy it, whereas you were wide-eyed and sure that your cheeks were pink. “you’re blushing, love. sure you don’t want that date?”

“it’s not my fault you’re so close!” you blurt out.

“‘course it’s not.” sirius grinned a lopsided sort of grin that was rather cute. “that doesn’t stop the fact that you’re the one blushing.”

“i am not.” you quickly turn back to your studies.

“padfoot, you said you wouldn’t distract us.” remus glanced at sirius disapprovingly.

“wrong.” sirius corrected. “you said not to distract you. i said no promises. but, being the terrific friend i am, i didn’t distract you.”

“look at what you’re doing, pads.” remus frowned as james and peter snickered madly.

“distracting her. not you.” sirius replied smugly. “i’ll distract her any day.”