#i do want to get it touched up sometime but i do still really like it :)

[mattscoquette]

reader going through perv!matt’s journal

“i’ll be back in a sec, i just need to run downstairs and help chris with something really quick.”

that’s what matt told you over ten minutes ago, and he’s still gone. you were over at the triplets place hanging out with nick, when matt insisted he show you both his new pc set up. it only took nick five minutes to be over it, but you felt bad when you saw matt’s defeatist expression after nick went back to his room. you decided to stay, but soon after matt abandoned you to go do something with chris.

you could’ve gone back upstairs with nick, but you let your curiosity get the best of you, and somehow you were going through matt’s bedside drawers, seeing what he had in there.

you knew matt had a thing for you, he made it very, very clear. although those feelings weren’t really reciprocated, it was fun to tease him. like, really fun.

before you could stop yourself, the leather binding of matt’s journal was in your hands, itching to be opened and read. you thumbed through the pages, reading matt’s chicken scratch handwriting while he wrote about whatever. you didn’t want to be too invasive, but his journal piqued your interest a lot. you wondered if he ever wrote about you, or if he only kept those thoughts in his head.

your eyes skimmed up and down the pages, nothing really standing out to you until you saw your name.

today y/n came over to see nick. she had on this rly short skirt, i think they were going out to a bar or something later. i don’t really care. i overhear her talking to nick about the guys she gets with. i could be so much better than them. i would make her feel so good, where she’d be begging me for more. god her moans are probably so fucking pretty.

your cheeks got hot as they blushed a deep red, fingers flipping to the next entry.

it’s been a few days since i saw y/n, i miss her so much. i’ve probably touched myself to her more times than i can count in the last day or two. i don’t know what it is with her, but she just gets me so worked up. she doesn’t even have to do anything and i’ll literally get hard from her. a couple weeks ago we were at her place and i heard her in the shower. it turned me on so much i couldn’t handle it. i want her so bad.

there’s gotta be something seriously deranged about me. every time that y/n sleeps over here, i always sneak up to nicks room and take a pair of her panties. she has to have noticed by now. i can’t help it though. i use them to get myself off. sometimes she has really pretty lace ones, other ones are really really skimpy. i don’t care though. i wonder what they’d look like on her. she’d probably think im a fucking creep if she ever really found out. i wonder what she’d do.

at this point, your stomach was doing somersaults, and your thighs were pressed together, trying to relieve the ache that had grown in your cunt. maybe it was weird what he was doing, but the level of obsession was turning you on. bad.

you were quick to find a pen somewhere in the bedside drawer, popping the cap off and scribbling underneath the entry in your loopy handwriting.

you naughty boy. you didn’t learn that stealing was wrong? i would probably punish you and not let you cum. i would tease you, get you all wound up and make you hold it. id use my pretty pink panties around your cock to get you off and let you cum in them after edging you for so long. maybe i’ll use my hands too, or my mouth if you’re really good for me.

you grinned to yourself as you shut the journal, drawing your bottom lip in between your teeth before returning the notebook to its rightful place, exactly how you found it.

you knew that matt wouldn’t do anything about it, either. he would see the note, and probably get off to it a million times, but never actually reach out to you. until then, he’d just have to learn how to keep pleasuring himself alone.

© mattscoquette | taglist

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬. ⋆˚꩜｡ inspired by this fic from my girl @st7rnioioss ♡︎♡︎ perv!matt is soooo back i miss that freak

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Two

It’s dark. The window is still open, but the chillier air is kind of nice on Eddie’s flushed skin.

The clean bedding is nice too; Eddie tries to remember the last time he appreciated something as nice as clean sheets and draws a blank.

Probably when he still lived with Wayne. Probably before they made it big. Probably before the partying started.

Eddie picks up his phone, his thumb hovering over the call button. He presses it.

Wayne doesn’t pick up. Eddie’s not surprised, not really.

He tries Chris; she doesn’t answer either.

Likewise Gareth.

He doesn't bother calling Jeff.

There’s no one else in his phone; Chrissy took it all away when Eddie couldn’t differentiate between a friend a dealer or a booty call.

Like the worst Marie Kondo ever, Chrissy had held up the hundreds of friends Eddie had in his phone, one by one, ‘does this spark joy?’

No. Sometimes sucked his dick, though.

Eddie has money though. He twirls his phone on his chest, flipping it from long edge to short. There’s always somewhere open. Flip. Flip. Flip.

Not like anyone's answering him right now anyway. They’ve just left him here. With fucking Steve. It’s just one time anyway, he wouldn’t get away with it more than once. Chrissy would put him on proper lock down if she found out. Probably shove him back in the clinic.

So...just once.

One last go. And then he’d quit for sure. He hasn’t touched it for months, so he’s pretty much proved he can do it, anyway.

Eddie gets dressed. Finds cash balled up in random places.

Eddie stands in the doorway. Look up at the stars and then across the lawn at the security gates. He hasn’t had so much as a cigarette in nearly half a year. This is fine.

“Where you going, Eddie?”

Eddie sighs. Fucking busted. Still, “no where you need to worry about.”

“Uh hu.”

“Look, I’m not on house arrest okay? I can go out, I’m a grown fucking man.”

“You totally are. You want to go out, you go for it. No skin off my nose.”

Eddie whirls, shocked, “what the fuck? Aren’t you supposed to try and stop me from doing dumb shit?”

Steve raises the eyebrow, “so you admit it’s dumb?” He looks sleep rumpled, wearing sweats and a white tee shirt.

Walked right into that one. “You’re dumb.”

The face again. The totally schooled features that are utterly professional and give absolutely nothing away and yet...somehow...he’s laughing at Eddie. Eddie can feel it.

“So you go out,” Steve saunters over, stands next to Eddie, bare toes curling over the doorstep, “you score or drink or do whatever it is you’re aiming to do. Then what?”

“Then what,” Eddie mimics, all bitchy, “I’ll come home, and I’ll sober up, and it won’t change a fucking thing,” Eddie bites out.

“You think? You’ve had sober spells before, is that how it’s gone in the past?”

Eddie takes a deep breathe, because no, no that is not how it’s fucking gone in the past, “this time is different.”

“Is it?” Steve asks, completely fucking nonchalant, “how so?”

Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever wanted to punch someone so bad in all his life. Imagines it viscerally, Steve's fucking head cracking on the door frame while he slumps to the floor in a bloody heap.

Eddie does not do that, obviously.

“Look, I’ll come home, we don’t do anything about it, you still get paid, sound good?”

“I get paid either way,” Steve shrugs one shoulder, because he’s a cunt. “This is how a lot of addicts die, did you know that?”

“What?” Eddie asks, startled by the left turn.

“Yeah, get out of rehab, think their tolerance is still the same, get back on it…” he doesn’t bother to finish.

“That won’t happen to me.”

“Oh yeah, right. Of course. Because you’re Eddie Munson, sorry, sorry, forgot a second there.”

Eddie takes two thumping angry steps into the yard and just...just fucking screams at the sky. Just...roars at nothing. This is shit. It’s so shit. Everything is shit. And Eddie nearly fucking died last time and there’s no escaping that fact. There’s no help. There’s no point to any of this. There’s just pain and fucking misery and something clawing at Eddie’s insides trying to get out.

He roars until he’s hoarse. Until he can’t any more. Until his chin is wet with spit and he feels week and rung out.

He sits on his ass on the cold, dewy lawn.

Steve is still standing in the doorway, he doesn’t look like he’s moved at all. If he’s at all bothered by Eddie’s little meltdown, he isn’t showing it.

“Why did you want to go?” Steve asks finally, "did something change?"

Eddie shrugs, he’s got nothing, not really. No real reason past just wanting to get fucked up. Because it feels good. Because he likes it.

“Okay, what’s worth staying for?”

Eddie makes a dismissive ‘pfffft’, made croaky by his fucked out voice.

“They always say you need to do these things for yourself,” Eddie glares at Steve, because that's some dumb shit right there. Always had it in therapy though. Self worth. Mindfulness. Living in the moment and being proud of what you’ve already achieved and every journey starts with a single step and all that other bull shit they try and feed you. “I know. I agree. When you...feel like you’re nothing, you’re not worth any effort. It’s the hardest time. So pick someone else. Who can you do it for?”

“They don’t care,” Eddie croaks, “they didn’t answer,” he pulls his phone out, flips it onto the grass.

“Who?”

“Chris. Wayne.”

“Okay, give me a good reason why Wayne didn’t answer? That’s your uncle, right?”

“Yeah he...he could be at work,” Eddie admits quietly. Eddie’s given Wayne money. Well, practically forced it on him. Set him up with a nice place; or at least as nice as he could talk Wayne into. Wayne doesn’t believe in free loading though. Eddie’s convinced him to do less hours, but he still works nights two or three times a week. Claims it’s ninety percent of his social life, or some shit like that.

“Okay, and Chris?”

Eddie shrugs, embarrassment over his outburst making him petulant now.

“Eddie, what time is it where Chris is, right now?”

Eddie sighs up at the stars. It’s the middle of the fucking night, “late. Early. I guess.”

“Okay. So they’re not ignoring you, they’re just living their lives like normal human beings. Come on, get up, your ass is gonna be wet.”

“And do what?” Eddie snaps, “what’s the fucking point.” It’s not a question.

“Come on, I want to show you something.”

“It was a tough time, you know? Like, life sucks hard sometimes. Music helps. My favorite is The Wilds, you know? You heard that one?” The interviewer mumbles something indistinguishable, “it’s kind of...like the bit about the shining sea, you know? How like, it’s so beautiful, but it’s fucking hard to sail on. Or like how the mountains are so beautiful, but if you go up there alone, you’re gonna’ die, right? So I think...like how insignificant, and meaningless my life is, in like, the grand scheme of things, but like...that makes what you do even more important, right? Like, it means more, when you choose to be...I dunno,” the kid with a million piercings shrugs, “like just be good to each other, you know?”

“That’s not even remotely what that song is about,” Eddie mumbles at the laptop monitor.

Behind him, Steve snorts a laugh, “well that kid thinks it is.”

Another kid, more makeup than the whole of Kiss slathered on her face, “I just think it has meaning, you know?” The interviewer mumbles something again, “oh my favorite?” A lip bitten in thought, she looks at the sky for inspiration, it’s sunset, Eddie figures. Lots of similarly dressed kids in the background. Takes him a second to realize this was filmed outside of a gig, or something like that. “It’s hard to pick, but if I gotta’, it’s definitely Double Down. Those lyrics are just...Eddie Munson is just...he’s a fucking genius, you know?” She frowns, “but also really fucking dumb soemtimes, I hope he’s okay.”

“I didn’t even write that one. Jeff wrote most of that. On napkins, I think. I just...worked it together.”

Another kid, saying how important Corroded Coffin are; how they helped this kid through hard times. Honestly it’s a difficult watch, Eddie has no fucking clue where Steve even found this, and when Eddie’s phone rings he jumps on it, glad of an excuse to slap the screen of the laptop closed.

“Hi, Eddie! You called, sorry it’s early I got up to go for a run-”

“No. No, it’s fine, I...I shouldn’t have called you so late. Early. You were probably sleeping.”

“That’s okay, of course it’s okay, it’s nice you called me,” she snickers, “you never call me.”

That’s true, and Eddie feels bad. It’s always Chrissy chasing after Eddie. Trying to keep a lid on him...trying to keep him safe. He was always the one dodging her. “Yeah, sorry…” Eddie gets up so he can walk away from Steve, tail between his legs he slinks into the hall, he vows, “I’ll try and do better.”

“Good, how are you feeling? Hows your rut?”

Eddie is not fucking admitting that he just had a breakdown and nearly fucked it all up in the middle of the night. No fucking way is he admitting that, “yeah...yeah, just...couldn’t sleep, you know? I guess the rut...still going. Feels weird.”

Eddie can hear Chris moving around, figures she has him on speaker or something, “uh hu, that’s because you haven’t cycled a proper rut in like, four years honey, these things take time to settle. Is Steve doing okay? You’re not being a cunt to him are you?”

“Well I’ve only thought about punching him,” something jogs in Eddie’s mind, “Chrissy, what happened to the cleaning lady?”

“Oh...we did talk about it honey but you weren't really...taking it in, I don’t think-”

“I was fucked up.”

“Yeah...but she…”

“Just say it.”

“The...you know, the vomit. You were constantly trashing the place. She was worried she was...well she was mostly scared she was going to walk in one day and find your body.”

“Oh.” Eddie slumps down on the bottom step, “that sucks. I liked her.”

“Don’t worry, her final pay was incredible. She got a really impressive bunch of flowers.”

“Oh...well. Thank you. For sorting that.” Eddie’s eyes feel wet. His lip wobbles a little, but he holds it in. He’s got no right to guilt about that, not now. “The place looks okay though, I think Steve’s been cleaning some.”

“Yeah, probably, he seems like a good guy.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, but the first tear breaks free and he knows he can’t hide it much longer, “go on your run.”

“Okay, speak later?”

“Yeah, course.”

“Eddie?”

“Hmm?”

“It’s so great to hear you sounding more like yourself, I missed you so much.”

Eddie hangs up, draws his knees up to his chest, the material of his sweats already darkened with tears.

[bunni-v1]

MORE JEALOUS PURE VANILLA COOKIE OMGGGG he'd totally be a jealous person despite his kindness

kinda imagining that in the stage during the push and pull he was doing, trying to push you away, you become quite close to some other cookies in the kingdom, specifically the creme Republic (clotted cream and financier) and he just gets.... uncomfortable when you two are FINALLY together because you're so friendly with clotted cream and his bodyguard.... like, hello.........

his eyes narrow slightly, and it just makes him feel so unpleasant, knowing that clotted cream cookie can easily strike up conversation with you and randomly tell him something you like—it makes his dough seethe slightly, whether he wants to admit it or not. or how financier and some random vanilla kingdom npcs mention a fact about you he coincidentally doesn't know because he was busy going through it and pushing you away before; OUGHHHHHH

i like to think white lily is involved in this in some way? he can't fully get over her and sometimes he tends to get passive about your very real concerns about how he looks at her as though he has something to say, i wonder how he would react if he finds you actually a bit insecure or unsure whether he'd pick you over her......... since he still cares deeply about his once first love, no?

anyways. yes. jealous PV is a concept that sticks heavily in my mind rn

-🃏

Jealousy Looks Ugly on You

🍓Hi pookiebear, I'm so sorry for 100% butchering the Creme Republic. I refuse to play that shit, even for that stupid blonde twink. Note, this takes place significantly after the events of Beast Yeast, so White Lily is technically visiting as a diplomat from the Faerie kingdom, and pv has already had his character development lol. Assumptions are made, and there is heavily implied past PureLily.

Tw: Poor communication; jealousy; implications at the very end; grammar/spelling errors

Info: Pure Vanilla x Reader; Implied past purelily; angst (not really though); fluff

Patience is a virtue that few cookies can claim to have. It's something that doesn't come easy to most, and Pure Vanilla Cookie has never judged anyone for being unable to hold themselves back from frustration. Except... himself of course.

He was exceptionally patient, to the point most gawked at him for his gentleness and understanding in certain situations. He held himself to a higher standard, and very few things brought out irritation in him. So... why exactly was the sight of Clotted Cream Cookie making his dough run so hot right now?

It wasn't as though Clotted Cream was doing anything offensive, quite the opposite actually. He was having a pleasant conversation, all warm smiles and... gentle touches. With who? Oh. Just the object of Pure Vanilla's deepest affections, the cookie he'd only recently been able to call his other half, his dearly beloved you.

Clotted Cream seems to speak to you with such familiarity, such warmth like perhaps he too harbors some kind of affection for you. Pure Vanilla's eyebrow twitches when he leans in to whisper something in your ear, and you laugh like it's the funniest thing you've ever heard. It nearly pulls a frown out of him, but his calm smile remains steadfast, not wanting you to notice and worry over him.

Still, his eyes narrow when Clotted Cream pats you on your shoulder good-naturedly. The former cookie locking eyes with him and smiling before sending you back to his side like he hadn't earned Pure Vanilla's ire only seconds ago. You are oblivious, as you always are, as he wants you to be. He only smiles at you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you just a little closer than he normally does.

"Did you enjoy your time with Clotted Cream Cookie, my love?" He asks sweetly, though he doesn't really want to know.

You give him a beaming smile, "As always. He knows how to make boring proceedings fun."

"Ah," he hopes you don't notice how he tenses, "What were you talking about just now, it seemed funny."

"Just an inside joke," you smile fondly as you remember, "it's only funny if you were there, or else I'd let you in on it too."

"That's alright," he hums, though his fingers press a little harder into your side as you walk, "I'm just happy to see you happy."

It's not a lie, either. He does love seeing your smile, but not when it's caused by another cookie. Not when it's treated like some kind of secret he's not meant to see. He tries to remind himself that there's no need to be so immature, but his dough is already warm and his mind spiraling. It took him so very long to come to terms with his feelings for you, he missed out on so much. Where he wasn't, other cookies were, and those cookies took his place in experiences that should've been his. Took smiles that should've been his. Moments he should've shared with you.

You place your hand where he holds you at your waist, turning to give him a warm smile. It warms his heart to know you're caring for him in your own way, but he doesn't want to make you worry. To ease your mind, he presses a kiss to your forehead, offering his own smile up to you. You were with him now, there was no need to worry any longer.

·┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆·

Pure Vanilla enjoyed quiet moments with you, especially ones like this. In the garden, surrounded by the white lilies there was nothing more peaceful than that. Your fingers run along their delicate petals as you hum a little tune to yourself, and he enjoys the sight with unbridled delight. His favorite cookie surrounded by his favorite flowers, what a blessing it is on his soul.

There are times where he wishes that every day could be like this. Just you and him in company, taking things nice and slow, soaking in the environment. You turn a little to sneak a glance at him, smiling to yourself when you notice his staring. The shyness cute on your face, something he loves to draw out of you.

Yes moments like these are exactly what he lives fo—

“Y/n Cookie? Are you around?” The familiar voice of Financier Cookie calls amongst the sea of flowers.

You perk up, standing from your spot with a wide smile, “I’m over here with the lilies!”

She comes into view around the corner, normally stern expression softening at the sight of you. Pure Vanilla does not like the look on her face. Still, he holds his tongue, there was no reason to be upset. She was a friend.

“Clotted Cream requests your presence,” She announces, and when you frown she shakes her head, “Nothing serious, he wishes to continue your conversation from yesterday. He’s in he quarters as usual.”

You brighten up, “Oh! I suppose we never did finish talking— ah, but… Pure Vanilla and I were spending some time together.”

He does not frown, though he really wants to. He knows that he could just say no, that you would remain by his side if he asked… but he can’t possibly take up your time when you are wanted elsewhere. It would be unfair to do so over such petty jealousy.

“We see each other every day,” He assures with that same gentle smile, “Go and enjoy yourself. You deserve it.”

You frown a little, “Are you sure?”

Of course he isn’t, “Positive. I’ll see you tonight.”

You hesitate for a moment, glancing at him worriedly, but ultimately wander off to find Clotted Cream. Financier stays back for a moment, watching you with an odd look on her face. The consideration is enough to pique his interest, so he raises his question.

“Is something the matter…?”

“Oh, no, nothing,” She shakes her head, “I would tell you immediately if there was anything to be concerned with.”

“Then why do you look so perplexed?” He asks again.

She seems to consider if telling him the truth is worth it or not. Mulling her options over for a few seconds before sighing, “It’s just a bit… odd to see them here.”

He frowns, “Whatever do you mean? Is there something wrong with the gardens?”

She shakes her head, sighing off some kind of weight, “Well, they’ve told me a few times in passing that they’re… not a fan of while lillie’s. The smell irritates them, if I’m remembering correctly, so it’s surprising to find them surrounded by them.”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware…” He mutters, grip tightening on his staff.

She gives him a small reassuring smile, but it does anything but help, “I’m sure they just forgot to mention it, that’s all.”

“Of course, thank you Financier Cookie,” He hummed with as much sincerity he could muster.

She smiles tightly at him, and then leaves him alone with his thoughts. And think he does, far too much. Not only are you so close with so many cookies, not only did you leave him for Clotted Cream today, but now he learns you don’t even care for his favorite flower? You hadn’t ever mentioned it to him, but you had to other cookies. Wouldn’t something this important be worth talking about with him?

He takes a deep breath, leveling himself out once again. He couldn’t get ahead of himself, knowing that you would never do anything to hurt him purposefully. He couldn’t stop the ache, though. There was so much he did not know about you, so many things he had to learn that other cookies got to hear without asking.

How much time would it take for him to know you the way they did? He burned with jealousy at how easy it was for other cookies to know you, to see you and talk to you with no effort. Each time you were around he felt himself falling apart at the seams, grasping at any little sprinkle of attention you gave him. He could never be so casual with you, not with the effect you had on him, and it made him so jealous to know other cookies had it so easy.

He sighs again, setting his hat down. Not even the lilies were bringing him comfort now, his mood soured yet again. All he could do was sit and seethe until you returned to his side, imagining what you and Clotted Cream might be talking about that was so important to pluck you from his side.

·┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆·

It is days of this cycle, which he refuses to break, even when given the chance to a million times. He just can’t find it in himself to step in, not when you seem so happy. Besides, it’s not as though he never sees you. He gets to have you to himself for most of the day, and especially at night.

Still, the annoyance grows in his chest little by little. Without realizing it he distanced himself from you, not wanting to overstep, he decides giving you space is for the best. Yet, he doesn’t realize just how much space he has given you. You begin to miss him, but he always has an excuse for you to go and visit with other cookies.

It feels like he does not want you around, even though he misses you dearly. The conundrum reaches a head when White Lily comes to visit. Being the Faerie Queen now, it was rare she took the time to see her old friend. So when the news of her traveling reached his ears, he cleared all his time to be with her.

You had not seen him since she had arrived, unless you were in your shared room. Even then, you hardly spoke more than a few words. There was an awkwardness there that hadn’t existed only a few days prior, it made your stomach ache. But how could you bring up your concerns when he merely brushed them away, always finding some way to make peace with the situation.

You did not hate White Lily Cookie, she couldn’t not control Pure Vanilla. But the sickness in your dough when you see them together does not go away with any soothing. He talks to her with such ease and knowing, in a way he never did with you. And when he looks at her there is a deep affection that never existed for you.

It makes you hurt. You could never be her, not in a million years. Perhaps that was why he was so distant recently, because he had missed her. Perhaps he wished that you were White Lily Cookie instead.

Despite him seeming oblivious, he was anything but. He was fully aware of the distance he had made between the two of you, and yet… he didn’t know how to fix it. His people pleasing ways had come around to stab him in the back, and he had no idea how to heal the wound inflicted by his own foolish actions.

Not until White Lily’s keen eyes picked up in the tension. She had always been able to read him well, it was why he was so fond of her. She knew him like no other cookie did, and he her. Which is exactly why she was the one to notice how worried he’d seemed.

“You’re tense,” She said simply, taking her seat next to him in the pagoda.

He sighs, “Is it obvious.”

“To me,” She smiles, “Tell me what’s on your mind, friend. It’s rare to see you so worried.”

He frowns at her, all the tension and fear from the week flooding him now that she was confronting it, “I am afraid I may be ruining my relationship.”

She blinks at him, tilting her head, “How would you be doing that?”

After a moments hesitation he lists the ways he has been dealing with the situation. The worry that he will never be close enough to you. The annoyance in his chest when other cookies are chummy with you. The distance he has created to avoid those feeling only making them worse. She smiles through the whole thing, knowingly.

“So… you’re jealous?” She chuckles, leaning forward with a teasing smile.

“I… suppose I am,” He admits, “It’s not as though the feeling is new, but it’s never been so strong…”

She laughs at him again, “Because you are in love, silly. Of course it’s stronger, have you talked to them about it.”

“Well…”

“Pure Vanilla.” She scolds, “Goodness, when will you ever learn. You can’t people please all the time, it’s not good for your health.”

He sighs, nodding along in agreement, “I know, I just don’t know how to bring it up so I deflect. And I’ve been avoiding them since you arrived, I can tell they feel horrible, but I fear I’ve gone too far.”

She hushes him, grabbing his hand in her own, “It’s never too late if the intent is there. I’m sure they’ll understand if you just talk to them. I would.”

“Thank you White Lily,” He smiles genuinely for the first time since she arrived, “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

She smiles warmly at him, squeezing his hand tightly. She always had a way to ease his worries with her words. It was just how well she knew him, she knew just what he needed as always.

A throat clears to the side of them, drawing their attention to it. White Lily reacts first, pulling her hands away from him and offering you a smile.

“Am I interrupting?” You ask, mousy with voice shaking.

“Of course not,�� She assures, “We were just talking about you, actually!”

Your expression relaxes a bit, inching forward as if one of them might deny you entry, “Nothing bad I hope…”

“Never,” Pure Vanilla speaks with such warmth that you almost forget how much you’d missed him this whole time, “Please come join us.”

So you do, and you sit and talk with them, and things are nearly normal. Pure Vanilla is back to his usual affectionate self, like nothing ever happened. But you catch the way he and White Lily exchange glances, the way banter comes to them more easily than it ever has to you. They just understood each other in a way you never have, and you couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt. Especially not after he’d pushed you away so much.

Eventually, White Lily leaves with the excuse of needing rest. Yet, you know it’s to give the two of you space. She’s always been observant and understanding, and you’re grateful for her consideration. When it is just you and Pure Vanilla again, you feel the tension begin to creep back between you. The thick wall of awkwardness wedging between you, and you fear for a moment that this is how it will be forever now. Then, he takes your hands in his, leaning over the table to get closer to you.

“I have to apologize,” He begins, “I have been unfair to you, and we have both suffered because of my actions.”

“Pure Vanilla—“ You want to ease his worries for some reason, tell him it’s alright, but he doesn’t allow you to.

“It took me a very long time to let you in, and because of that I fell short on sharing important moments with you. I’ve found myself… envious of other cookies who take up your time, and I’ve been immature in how I handle it,” He admits, stroking the backs of your hands, “I’ve put too much distance between us, and I can see how much it pains you. I’m so sorry for how I’ve acted, I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me.”

It takes you a moment of awkward blinking to take in all he said, and while his genuineness is sweet, you can’t help the laugh that bubbles from your stomach. It’s ridiculous when you think about it. He was jealous so he avoided you, and at the same time you were just as jealous of White Lily Cookie. It was silly, and so easily solved, yet neither of you were willing to upset the other. He seems to find the humor in it all too, laughing heartily at your side.

You laugh until your sides hurt and tears are streaming from your eyes. Leaning your full weight on him so you don’t collapse to the floor. When you finally calm, you find it in yourself to admit to your own plight.

“I would be harsh on you, but I’m just as guilty of jealousy.” You sigh, squeezing his fingers in yours.

“What do you have to be jealous of?” He asks, and you almost can’t believe he doesn’t know. It’s so obvious to everyone else around him that he still adores White Lily, everyone but him it seems.

You shake your head in disbelief, “Gosh, you’re so oblivious. You really don’t know how you look at her, do you?”

He shakes his head with a deep frown.

“When you look at White Lily, I can see how much you still love her. I know you would never hurt me or betray me like that, but it does hurt when I see how you treat her. I feel like… maybe you’ll never look at me like that.” You admit, voice small and shaky the longer you go. It was hard to come to terms with how much it hurt, and worse to say out loud to him. He could reject you, pretend your feelings aren’t real.

Instead, he tucks a finger under you chin and forces your eyes on him, “I already do… I just get so embarrassed when you’re looking that I hide it from you.”

He pulls you a little closer, “I still love White Lily, but not in the same way that I love you. You are my whole world, my love. I would never leave you, not for anyone, and I’m sorry I made you worry for even a moment.”

You smile softly at him, leaning into his touch, “Next time, I think we should both just talk about it? All this dodging each other is silly.”

“I agree,” He chuckles, “I much prefer talking to you than not.”

“Very good,” You hum, sliding your arms around his shoulders, “Shall we make it up to each other then?”

His hand tug you closer by your waist, “I think that would be very nice, yes.”

[evillama666]

“Taking it slow”

“Taking it slow”

Daryl Dixon x reader

When I think about Daryl being in a relationship, I think about how slow he’ll need to take things. I, for one, like taking things slow. Daryl is new to this, of course you're going to have to teach him things and be patient. As much as I love confident and cocky Daryl, it’s going to take him a minute to actually get there. There’s going to be lots of baby steps! 

Summary: Must I explain much? Slowly entering a relationship with Daryl and getting comfortable 

Tags: Fluff, baby steps, inexperienced, headcannons, cuddles!!! No specific era or season

Word count: 4765

꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…

You’ve known Daryl since Atlanta. Of course, you two have been through a lot together, so he’s grown to care about you. Like the way he cares about Carol but, maybe more. You’ve seen him grow as a person, and all he’s gone through. You’ve always been there for him for everything, even if he tried to push you away at times. You two have a very close relationship, but lately, it seems to have been getting closer. Daryl needs a deep emotional connection with someone before anything happens. He’s probably on the ace spectrum. It makes sense. He’ll fall for anyone, doesn’t matter who, as long as they appreciate him. He just needs to feel loved. He’s bi just doesn’t know it or acknowledged it. 

You had to reassure him you can go slow, like really slow. You’d happily teach him everything since he’s never done this before. Eventually, he reluctantly gave in. First step was touches. He wasn’t used to affectionate touches. Whenever you touched him, he flinched. There was clearly some trauma bubbling up, so you never pushed. Eventually he trusted your touch and stopped flinching, even began to crave it. However, he doesn’t enjoy being affectionate in front of the group. That’s something you can put up with. If you want this to work, you have to respect his boundaries or he’ll push you away. Sometimes he’ll casually put his hand on your shoulder, or graze your arm around the group to show his appreciation. 

It took a while for your first kiss, and another week for your second. Sex would take even longer, but that’s not on your mind right now. The first kiss, he was hesitant, unsure, but when your lips brushed against his, he melted and kissed you back. Of course, you had to make the first move. His touches were slow, shy, and a bit clumsy, and he didn’t know where to put his hands. He was a mess after that kiss. That’s why it took so long for the second. However, the second one felt much more natural. He put one hand on your cheek, the other on your hip to pull you in close. He even used some tongue. His touches were much more confident. He’s a fast learner, after all. You're not sure where he picked that up from, but you liked it. He doesn’t kiss you often though, he’s still getting used to it.

He needs lots of reassurance from you. He always feels like he’s doing something wrong or it’s not good enough. If you teach him something new or if he picks something up from you, like something you do to him, he’s very tentative and hesitant. He’ll gradually feel more comfortable after you reassure him he’s fine. This man cannot make the first move. Not yet anyway. He needs you to give him a sign that it’s fine. There’s a lot of little affectionate gestures he wants to show you, but he’s just too shy. He’ll get more comfortable as time goes on and touch you whenever without hesitation. (:  For now anyway, he’s fighting with himself a lot. 

He has a lot of thoughts about how he’s not good enough, not handsome enough, doesn’t deserve you, you can do better. Thoughts along those lines. Why do you think he needs so much reassurance? When you two first started getting closer, he had a lot of those thoughts, so he pushed you away, avoided you. Little did he know is you melt those thoughts when you're around. He feels most at ease around you. It’s like you clear his mind. Of course, you gave him his space at first, but eventually you had to be near him. That little push made him realize how nice it feels to be around you. However, if you push too hard, he’ll push you away. He’s like a scared puppy. He has to make his way to you. 

We all know Daryl is a man of action, not words. He won't say ‘I love you’ too often, not early on anyway, but he’ll show you. He’ll pick up little trinkets for you on runs, let you have the first serving of food, or pick up rocks that match the colour of your eyes. When he’s more comfortable with touches, he’ll always show you small acts of affection to make up for his lack of words. Lots of little kisses everywhere and soft touches. He’s only gentle with you.

(Present)

He’s sitting on a log by the fire eating alone while the rest of the group is either still asleep, or grabbing food. You come up behind him slowly so you don’t startle him, and kiss his shoulder as you step over the log and sit. He grunts in surprise before smiling just slightly. He’s been getting more comfortable with your touches. He didn’t even mind that the group was near for that one, not like anyone of that actually saw. “Mornin’.” He says in a gruff voice, swallowing his food. You’re sitting closer than usual. He shudders when your shoulder brushes his. “Morning!” You reply cheerfully. 

His face scrunches when you kiss the corner of his lips, thinking he won’t want a proper one just yet. You were mistaken. He glances at the group behind him before cupping your cheek and pressing a quick peck to your lips. He looks back down at his bowl like nothing happened. He’s sure the group has picked up what’s been going on between you two. You two have been sharing a tent, after all. Your eyes widen after that quick kiss. “You’ve been getting bold lately.” He must be feeling comfortable. He just shrugs, quietly eating. You notice how he keeps looking over his shoulder at the group. “Worried about what the group will think?”

He looks back at you. His eyes say everything. You’ve gotten better at reading them since he’s so quiet. “How about we try something simple?” He thinks for a second, then nods. He’s been trying to work with you, push past his boundaries. Anything for you. He sighs contently when you lay your head on his shoulder. That’s something he can handle. He looks back and gets a small smile from Carol. Yea, she knows. She’s glad he found someone…. Or more like someone found him. 

He watches you from the corner of his eye as you eat. He’s always watching you, observing, trying to figure out how you work. Also… admiring you. He doesn’t get how such a pretty thang could fall for him. Why you're willing to go through so much to be with him. He usually has to push those thoughts away. When he finishes his food, he lays his head on top of yours. You both aren’t getting any looks from the group, so he’s willing to be affectionate right now. You set your food down, wanting to soak up this moment. You don’t get to many of these. “Are you going hunting again?”

“ ‘Course.” He closes his eyes, allowing himself a moment of vulnerability. You sigh softly, knowing this moment won’t last too long. “I’ll be waiting for you.” He holds you for a moment before he pulls away, standing up to go grab his crossbow. You look down at your food with a slight pout. You know he’s just trying to fend for the group, but he always spends the whole day hunting. He ruffles your hair before heading off to the woods, and you give him one last look.

Nighttime is your favourite with Daryl. He’ll come back, feeling exhausted from hunting, wanting nothing more than to just cuddle with you. He’ll be more affectionate since you two have the privacy of your tent. You tiredly lift your head when you hear the tent zipper. “Daaryl.” You say his name softly with affection. He hates the way his heart reacts each time you say his name like that. “Hey sw-” He cuts himself off before he lets ‘sweetheart’ slip. You wish he would just say it, but you’ll take what you’ll get. “How’d it go?” Daryl groans as he takes off his vest. He’s sore after a long day and can’t wait to cuddle with you. “Mmmh… Didn’t get shit, but set up some traps.” He huffs as he collapses on the pile of blankets on the tent floor. His eyes close as you run your fingers through your hair. This is when he lets you touch him. Let’s you push past his borders and boundaries. This is the time for you to test new things. Push him just a little. His eyes open when he hears you giggle after you boop his nose. There’s a small smile on his lips. “Enjoying yaself?” You scooch closer and nod. “Uh-huh.” He leans into your hand as you rub his hair. He wouldn’t ever admit it, but he’s clingy. You might get a few shy kisses from him, but you're usually doing all the work. Not that you mind, this man needs all the affection in the world. He sinks into the blankets as he unwinds from the day. “Ready for bed, Daryl?”

“More first.” He mumbles, enjoying the way you play with his hair. He’s never loud, but you can hear a few pleased sighs and content hums from him. He groans as your hand moves from his hair down to his shoulder, rubbing his taut muscles. “Damn…” He groans out. He didn’t think this would be so nice. His mind has always been focused on survival. He never stopped to consider the perks of a relationship. If he knew you’d do this for him every night, he would have probably been with you a lot sooner. “You like that?” 

“Hell yea.” His voice is barely audible. This man is in pure bliss right now. You need nothing more to be perfectly happy with him. It brings you such satisfaction to get him like this. He doesn’t even realize how vulnerable he is. That thought didn’t cross his mind. All he knows is how warm and safe you make him feel. Feeling a bit bold, you move your hand down to his chest.

His eyes open and he grabs your wrist, before seeing your look of surprise. He holds it for a second before letting go. Sometimes you’ll get something like that when you cross a boundary he’s not ready for. So, doing something you know he’s comfortable with, you bring your hand to his cheek, stroking your thumb over his goatee. His eyes close once he relaxes again. His head sinks against his pillow as he sighs.

You love the soft little sounds you're able to pull out of him. It’s a sign that you're doing something good. These are the times he’s most relaxed. When you're showing him affection. It’s easiest to read him when he’s vulnerable. Figure out what he likes, what he doesn't. Which isn’t much since he loves all the affection you give him. That’s what he needed in his life.

He grabs your wrist again, making you feel you did something wrong. Your brows furrow when he pushes himself up, then leans over you. “How do I…?” Oh, he wants to reciprocate. He hasn’t really done that. This must be growth. “Just do what feels natural.” He just looks at you, waiting for you to give him some more direct directions. “Uh… start with kisses. Kiss me wherever you’d like.” His eyes roam over your face and neck as he nods. He lowers his head, his lips just above yours, then he hesitates. You don’t close the gap, not wanting to push him. You want him to be able to make his way to you. He swallows thickly before tentatively pressing his lips to yours. You don’t kiss back until he does. For such a rough man, he has the softens lips you've ever kissed. 

He’s using this kiss to memorise your lips. All his other kisses were usually quick and shy. He never really felt your lips. After a good minute he sighs heavily against your lips as he pulls away. Then he moves his face down to your neck. He keeps his head buried there, enjoying your soft warm skin before he finds your pulse point and kisses it, since it's most vulnerable. It’s his way of showing you’re safe with him. One of your hands makes it to his hair. It’s gotten so long, it’s easy to tangle your fingers in it.

His hair is one of his favourite places to be touched. Why do you think he grew it out? You ruffled it once, back when it was short and he was hooked. He trails a couple of kisses down your throat before lifting his head for reassurance. He’s always asking for reassurance from you. He wants to be doing all of this right. You brush his hair out of his face. “That’s good, that’s good. Feels nice.” Your voice is breathless. He must be doing a damn good job if he was able to get you to sound like that. 

That’s all the confirmation he needs. He’s treating your skin so delicately. He hits a few sensitive spots that make you pull his hair. So those are the sweet spots? Duly noted. Now Daryl knows where to focus. You don’t know what this is leading to, if anything. Either way, you're happy. This is the most expressive Daryl has been since the two of you have gotten closer. His kisses are slow and soft, trying to make up for all the affection he hasn’t shown you yet.

Then he slowly lowers his weight on your chest, making sure not to crush you, and just lays there. There’s a lot going through his mind, there always is. You’re happily playing with his hair. His weight on your chest is soothing. It seems like he needs a minute, so you’re giving him all the time he needs. You don’t press, just leave him be. It must be a lot for him, but you're proud he pushed himself. You press a little kiss to his hair as a way to tell him he did good. You two have a way of communicating in silence. 

His brows furrow as he struggles with his thoughts. Is he doing this right? Why is it so difficult for him? He cares about you. Cares about you deeply, but it’s just so hard for him to get himself to show you. His thoughts get interrupted as you ruffle his hair. It’s like you’re directly scratching those thoughts away. He must be doing ok since you’ve never complained. 

He nuzzles his face into your chest. It’s the warmest part of you, so he loves it. That and your thighs. He loves laying his head in your lap, having his hair played with as you talk about your day. “Sleepy?” You ask quietly. He just grunts in response. Yea, he’s tired, but if he goes to bed, that means no more kisses. He tugs on your shirt like a child, silently asking for more. You happily give them to him, placing kisses all over the top of his head. He’s trying hard not to doze off. He craves more, but the warmth is getting to him. 

You lightly nudge his shoulder to see if he fell asleep. Apparently not, as he lifts his head with a small grunt. “Sorry. Thought you were asleep.” He huffs at that idea as he lowers his head. “Don’ wanna.” Wow, he sounded like a whiny child. You brush his hair back, trying to get him to look at you again. “Why not?” You're always trying to get Daryl to communicate. Even if it’s not vocal. Sometimes if he wants a kiss, he’ll nudge you or lay his head on your shoulder until you do something. Those moments are so cute.

He’s reluctant to speak. He’s not good and not used to voicing what he wants. “Wan- need more.” You laugh softly. Just a few words are good enough. You cup his cheek in your hand as you kiss all over his face. His face scrunches and he sucks in a breath before relaxing. And look at that, his cheeks are pink. Daryl loves and hates all the tingles your kisses leave behind. He never thought they could do that. He thought a kiss was a kiss, but you’ve taught him they're so much more than that. He lays his head back on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. It’s one of his favourite sounds. Your heartbeat, laughs and giggles, your breaths when you sleep, and the way your voice gets when you're excited or talking about something you're passionate about. 

Once he heard your voice get like that when you were talking about him to Carol. That’s when he figured you must truly have feelings for him. You’ve never once faked that voice. Thinking back, there were a lot of signs he missed. Maybe you didn't realize, or maybe you needed to take your time before you told him. Either way, he knows you’ve cared for him for a damn long time. 

He slowly untangles himself from you. Your hand lingers in his hair as you watch him pull away. Then his hands drop to his belt. Assuming he’s just taking it off for bed, you close your eyes and cuddle up with a blanket. He’s never taken his jeans off to sleep, even though you’ve told him to because, let’s be real, sleeping in jeans is uncomfortable. Maybe he’s not comfortable yet to let you see him like that. Your eyes snap open when you hear his fly. Damn, maybe tonight’s different. You catch a glimpse of the bulge in his boxers before forcing yourself to look away to give him some privacy. This is the first time he’s done this. Don’t ruin it by ogling him like a perv.

He slips under the blanket with you, cuddling your back, wrapping an arm around your waist. He presses a small kiss on your shoulder before closing his eyes. “Night.” You glance at him as he settles against his pillow. “G’night handsome.” A small breath of amusement passes his nose. You’ve been slowly easing into calling him pet names. He buries his face into the crook of your neck as he falls asleep.

The longer you slept with Daryl, the fewer nightmares he had. Of course, one will pop up once in a while, but mostly, his nights are peaceful with you. He loves using you as a pillow or holding you to his chest, using your weight for deep pressure therapy. It helps with nightmares. The warmth from your body is his favourite. Sleeping in a tent, the nights get cold, so he likes to snuggle close. He likes to think he’s doing this to keep you warm, but he’s doing it for his own comfort.

The first couple times he slept with you, he’d get up with the sun and leave, going on about his normal routine. One morning he slept in later than he wanted but didn't mind after he watched you wake up. You were so cute, all groggy, clinging to him, still pretty out of it, and so natural. But what he really liked? Your morning voice. It was so soft, softer than usual. Now he’s heard you use a soft voice with him before but this felt different. He ended up starting his day a lot later because he enjoyed watching you be all disoriented as you woke. He found it so interesting. He thought you were so beautiful at that moment. Like you were unreal. 

The first night you invited him to sleep over at your tent, he didn't cuddle. Sure, he let you touch him a little, but he kept to himself as he fell asleep. You tried to get him closer but he kept his distance. All your little touches were still new for him so cuddles would’ve been too overwhelming. However he slowly made his way to you. That’s how it works. You need to let him make his way to you. Let him take his time. 

He always wakes up before you. He’s just used to waking up early. Waking up before you, he’s always greeted with your sleeping form. He gets to see you at peak vulnerability. When you wake up, he’s sitting beside you, quietly watching with a soft gaze. He’s already got his jeans and vest back on. He watches as you blink rapidly to clear the blurriness. Now he’s waiting for you to see him and cuddle close. He’s memorised the way you work each morning. And there it is, you're grabbing him, trying to pull him down, so he’s laying with you. He happily complies. 

He brushes your hair out of your face, then glances at your lips. Is this the right time to kiss you? Should he wait until you’re fully awake? He doesn’t know. He wants you to engage first. That way, he knows you actually want it. He’s always afraid of crossing a boundary. Fuck it. He’s going to go for it. You’ll tell him if you didn’t like it right? You're so much better at communicating than him.  He pushes his lips against yours, lingering for a moment, before pulling away. The happy hum he got from you makes him feel better. He’s considering a way to push himself a little further, but not entirely, so he’s not out of his comfort zone. Soooo... “Mornin’ sweetheart.”

Your eyes light up when he finally calls you that. He’s been wanting to for a while, he was just too shy. “Good morning, handsome!” Your excited demeanour makes him chuckle. Ok, so you like that. He’ll call you that more just to see you react like that. He runs his hand through your hair, trying to smooth it out. “Ya lookin’ a lil’ messy.” A small pout forms on your lips then you get an idea. “Would you like to brush it?”

His hand falters. That’s a very intimate act for him… but it seems easy enough. That’s something that can ease him into something more. He nods once with a grunt. You sit up, grabbing your brush, then sit in front of him. He hesitates as he looks at your hair. It’s messy, and he doesn’t want to hurt you. He’s rough with his hair on the rare occasion when he brushes it, but he knows he can’t be like that with you. You look over your shoulder when he doesn’t start brushing. “I’ll let you know if you pull.” He sighs as he brushes the ends of your hair. He’s brushing slowly, being extra mindful not to hurt you. “How’s tha’?” 

You close your eyes. You can feel how careful he’s being. “You’re doing good.” While brushing your hair, he only snags a couple times, but it’s not enough to really hurt you. Still, he feels like shit. “You’ll get better the more you do it.” He pauses. You’ll let him brush your hair more? He… really likes that idea. He runs his fingers through your hair, making sure he didn’t miss any knots. Then he tries something you always do to him. He lightly scritches your head, drawing giggles from him. “Haha, Daryl!” You laugh, leaning back against his chest and he wraps an arm around you. He’s learned the way you play with his hair, so he has some idea about how he’s supposed to do it. He presses his head against your shoulder, leaving little kisses. He’s observing your reactions, seeing what makes you react how. See, he’s learning. “I’m not goin’ huntin’ today.”

“Why-” You get cut off as he pulls you down with him. “Oh.” You laugh, cuddling up with him. Today, he wants to focus on getting closer with you, learning about you, and feeling more comfortable with you. He’s never going to get any better at affection if he doesn't try it. He compares it to hunting. There’s a lot to learn, a lot of patience, but if he practices then it’ll become second nature. He’s only really affectionate with you at night, and that doesn't last too long because you both end up falling asleep. When you wrap a leg around his waist, he tenses. He wasn't expecting the gush of warmth that would come with that. A second later, he relaxes, holding you close. “C- can I kiss ya?” 

“Of course. You don’t have to ask.” You’ve told him that a couple times before, but he still asks. Though if you keep telling him, he’ll slowly learn. Just reassure the baby. It’s all he needs. He presses kisses to your shoulder, making his way up to your neck. Soft little grumbles and sighs can be heard from him. He’s never let his hands wander, he’s just been too much of a sweetheart for that, but today he’s feeling bold. His hand moves down to your waist, gliding over your curves, then rests on your hip. He likes the way your body feels. It’s perfect. It’s so soft to touch. He’s not used to feeling something like that. His fingers squeeze just slightly, not wanting to be rough. 

Never feeling him touch you like that before, makes you feel those nice tingles. So, you snuggle closer, trying to encourage him to keep going. It takes him a second to realize what you want before running his hand up and down your side. The baby boy is learning! His movements are stiff at first before becoming more natural. He’s giving into the feelings you make him feel. You're soaking up every touch. It's the first he’s really ever done this. “Am I… doin’ ok?” He asks nervously. You sigh happily. As much as you love showing him affection, it’s nice to have some in return. “You’re doing more than ok.” Daryl's eyes gaze over your face and body language, trying to get a read on you. You’re really not that hard to read. You’re basically melting under him. He has to bite back a smile. He can’t believe he’s actually making you react like this. Do you know how good that makes him feel? Knowing he has an effect on you? He’ll be using that against you when he’s more comfortable. 

You mess with his hair as his hands roam from your sides to your tummy. He’s trying to memorise how you feel. He closes his eyes and buries his face in your neck, so he’s solely focused on the way you feel. He’s very bold this morning. He’s never this brave when he touches you. Once he feels like he let his hands roam for long enough, he takes a peek at your face. You look peaceful. He got you like that, huh? That makes him feel a sense of accomplishment. 

He flinches back when you suddenly bring your hand up to stroke his cheek. His facial muscles relax when he realizes you didn’t mean any harm. He’s gazing at you tenderly. His eyes always give him away. And when he closes them, that means he’s feeling comfortable. It’s his way of lowering his guard. He lets out a low groan as you ruffle his hair. That always makes him melt. He turns his head, pressing a kiss to your palm while he makes eye contact. 

The fucking BUTTERFLIES, this man just made you feel. He knew what he was doing. When he’s confident with his touches it’s going to be fucking over for you. He chuckles slowly as your cheeks flush and you try to hide your face with your hands. He grabs both of your wrists, holding them firmly to his chest. “Ah, ah, girl.” You meet his eyes. He loves the pink flush to your cheeks. Sure, he’s gotten you to blush a few times, but never like that. He hides his smile by resting his head on top of yours. He sighs contently as he wraps his arms around you. His thumbs are tracing little patterns on your back. 

You close your eyes as you relax, giving into his embrace. His big strong arms are perfect for wrapping around you and holding you close. Have you seen his arms? They’re perfect for this. His grip is tight and secure, shielding you from the world. It’s his way of showing he’s protective of you. He likes to keep you close to his chest. That’s where his heart is after all. 

꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…

Soooooo, this turned out to be a lot more fluff than I was originally going to write but who’s complaining?

[bisexualbrainrots]

I'm loving the responses to this fic, so here's another snippet, we're getting steamier everyone! hope you guys are enjoying the process.

if you want to read: part 1, part 2, wip part 3.

Buck shakes when one of Tommy's fingers hooks on the towel, gripping but not making an effort to pull it off yet.

He takes that as a sign and raises his hands through Tommy's arms until they find each other on the back of his neck, fingers interlocking. Buck closes a little more of the gap as he nudges his nose with his boyfriend's, greeting in the form of a soft ‘hi’ that's reciprocated immediately. 

“Were you okay back there?”

Buck nods “It wasn't so bad, you know. I got to think a lot,” he smiles, his gaze descends to Tommy's lips and a sense of hunger creeps up in him.

Tommy notices and smirks “And what were all these things you thought of?” his free hand moves up to Buck's waist, holding onto it tight.

It's this little sense of possessiveness that drives Buck crazy. What Tommy doesn’t say with his words, he shows it with his touch, and when it comes to his possessive side he’s more… physical about it. He’d put his hand on the small of Buck’s back as they walk down the street, he’d hook his fingers to the belt loops and pull Buck closer, he’d hold and squeeze the back of Buck’s neck when they’re at a get-together, and he’d leave as many marks as he could everywhere on Buck’s body.

He still has that one bite mark on his hip.

Buck nips at Tommy's top lip “You, your mouth, your neck, your fingers,” his lips graze Tommy's as he speaks but he doesn't go beyond that, letting the desire linger in the air, “I thought of those fingers inside of me, opening me up until my legs are shaking.”

Before he can say anything else, Tommy's lips are crashing onto his, giving him a bruising kiss that Buck happily reciprocates as his hands shift to hold his boyfriend's face.

As the kiss deepens they move around the room, until Buck feels his calves hit the end of the bed and he's stopped, whining a little as Tommy's tongue plays with his.

“Fuck… fuck,” Tommy's wicked gaze is all over Buck, examining every fraction of his features and licking his lips as he stays on Buck's eyes, and his voice drops an octave as he whispers “What am I gonna do with you?”

God, he loves it when Tommy gets like this. Even though it hasn't been that long since they started doing it, Buck has become obsessed with the way Tommy’s eyes and demeanor can change when he's aroused. It's almost like lust sets in and spreads around, all the way from the depths of his veins to the surface of his pores. Sometimes he remains calm and collected, even when he’s driving Buck to the edge of madness; other times he becomes a beast, wrapped in this frenzy that has him making noises that could make Buck come untouched.

Even though he knows Tommy will be careful with him, Buck can’t help but wish for him to ruin him.

“Fuck me,” Buck takes a deep breath when Tommy chuckles, the vibrations of his laugh flowing through his body and settling deep in his bones.

The hand on his waist shifts to his cheek, cupping his face with a tenderness only Tommy can give in a moment like this “Be patient, Evan. We don’t have to rush and I… I really want to take my time with you.”

Buck’s knees almost falter when Tommy gets the towel off his hips, and he has very little time to think about the fact that he’s completely naked because Tommy pushes him onto the bed, covering his body as he joins their lips in an open-mouthed kiss.

taglist! (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @likeapaperplane @fenrirscarsback @sad-girl-hours23 @station18908 @all-the-feelss @rubydaiquiri @superlock-in-the-tardis

[oneforthemunny]

you mentioned rockstar eddie watching her have their babies and still being obsessed ofc, and i’m wondering how janitor eddie would be, esp if she was feeling self conscious

so here's my thoughts on this, because i love janitor!eddie from the bottom of my heart, but... he's a little ball of anxiety and sometimes it makes the situation soooo much worse. like he gets in his own head, and stays in his own head, won't tell you what's going on just starts acting weird, so you think it's you and in reality, he's just in need of prozac lmao.

since oliver was adopted, there was no "down period" ya know? if anything, i think watching you be a mom to him and be sweet to him and kind and loving, it made eddie even fucking more insatiable than before in the most love sicken devoted way.

after you gave birth to olivia, it was different. through the pregnancy, he'd already been a little nervous with you. there's a full blurb about it, where he's nervous to touch you because he doesn't want to hurt you. bless him, there's not a lot out there at the time (early 90s) about having sex and being pregnant lol. so he's just scared. better to stay hands off than hurt you. which in the blurb, doesn't last because once you tell him you want to and it's ok, he's actually feral.

but after olivia, the doctor tells the usual, no sex for this six weeks or it can hurt you. eddie, ofc, asked a million questions about every single thing (turned a thirty minute visit into an hour and a half), but specifically about what could happen, how would you know if you're healed, what did they do to verify that everything was good, was there a test- like a million questions.

six weeks turns into eight, and it's really not too bad because you're both exhausted and literally collapse into each other. but around ten weeks, the routine is becoming more normal, olivia's sleeping through the night, you both feel like you can catch your breath, but eddie's still so distant with sex? like everything else is so good, but if you try to initiate, kiss him a little deeper, make yourself into the little spoon and back your ass up on him, he stills and shuts it down.

by eleven weeks, you're frustrated. by twelve, almost three months, you're hurt. wayne kept the kids for the night, wanted to give you two some alone time and wanted to spend time with his grandbabies, and you think it's perfect. you're about to go back to work, and it seems like a good time to "break the seal" so to say.

you have a dinner at home, he cooked, wined and dined you, is so so soooo fucking sweet and lovey. you're on the couch, watching a movie, but really making out like you used to. you can feel him, feel him getting hard, and when you try to make a move, he starts like panicking. apologizing, and trying to hide it.

"fuck, i-i'm sorry. i don't, just gimme a second, an-and i'll-"

"-so do you just think i'm disgusting now?" tears in your eyes, you're beyond hurt. you'd heard so many stories about men who saw their wives give birth and didn't want to have sex anymore, deemed them gross, but you never in a million years though eddie- your sweet, kind, perfect eddie would be one of them.

eddie is on the brink of an anxiety attack, because ???? why would you think that? you're the prettiest, most beautiful girl in the world to him, and he tells you so.

"then why... why are you not wanting to have sex?" you blubber around your tears. hormones still wild even after, emotional from the hurt too.

"i know you're hard. i can see it." you point to his crotch, his semi still prominent. "so it's me."

"no, no. what? no." eddie thinks he might throw up, head spinning so fast. "it-it's not you-"

"-yes it is! why else wouldn't you want to? it's because i had a baby, and-and you think-"

"-don't." eddie's throat is tight, swallowing his heart. "it's- i- i just- i don't want to hurt you."

"hurt me? you are hurting me. you're hurting my feelings because you won't even touch me."

eddie does nearly throw up, swallows bile and it's like his world is turned up side down. he was so fucking scared, petrified, of having sex with you after and accidentally ripping something. that maybe you weren't healed, that the doctor made a mistake, and he'd fuck you and cause you to like, internally bleed and die or something insane. or that he'd just hurt you, that it would hurt and he'd hear you in pain, and he'd never forgive himself.

you'd just given him everything he ever wanted, made the ultimate sacrifice out of love, and he would not- could not hurt you over that. if he did, he'd genuinely be unable to live with himself.

after he finally just tells you that, instead of being so fucking weird, you calm him down. tell him it doesn't hurt, that you'd let him know if it did.

"just... just use your fingers first. and if it hurts, we can stop and i'll go to the emergency room. i promise. you won't hurt me." you tell him, gently cupping his cheek.

and really, it didn't take much convincing after he finally spilled what had been eating at his mind, once you soothed him. i mean, he had also been in agony. every time you'd take off your top or bend over to pick up a toy, he'd have to run to the bathroom because he was so fucking hard.

it was never unattraction, it was genuinely just his own mind and anxieties and spiraling.

[evorlaah]

DARLING HE LIED

Paring: non!idol!Sunghoon x female reader

Synposis: Stuck in a toxic relationship, you seek comfort from your best friend Sunghoon, only to realize he’s been in love with you all along.

Note: finally back, it’s short but I promise I’m coming with comeback! 😳❤️

Disclaimer!: cursing, toxic relationships, crying, a smidge of angst. Genre: fluff, angst, I think that’s it..

@evorlaah

“Fuck, y/n you’re always doing this!” His voice was loud, echoing off the walls of his apartment. His face was twisted in anger, eyes blazing as he stared you down.

You crossed your arms, trying to keep your composure. “Doing what, exactly? Calling you out on your bullshit?”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You’re so dramatic. I was just talking to her. It didn’t mean anything.”

You felt your chest tighten, hurt mingling with fury. “Talking? You had your hands all over her. Do you think I’m stupid?”

He ran a hand through his hair, clearly annoyed. “You always blow things out of proportion. This is why I can’t stand being around you sometimes.”

The words were a slap to the face, knocking the air out of your lungs. You felt your throat tighten, but you refused to let him see you cry. Not this time. “You can’t stand being around me? Then why are you even with me?”

He hesitated, his jaw clenching. “Maybe I shouldn’t be.”

Silence. Heavy, suffocating silence. Your heart sank, the ache spreading through your chest. You’d always known he didn’t love you, not really. But hearing him say it—hearing him confirm your worst fears—it shattered you.

You swallowed hard, refusing to let the tears fall. “Fine. I’m done.”

Turning on your heel, you stormed out of his apartment, slamming the door behind you. The cold night air bit at your skin as you walked down the street, no destination in mind. You just needed to get away. Away from him, from his lies, from the hurt that seemed to follow you wherever you went.

Your feet moved on their own, carrying you to the one place you knew you’d be safe. Before you realized it, you were standing outside Sunghoon’s door, your fists trembling as you knocked.

The door swung open, and Sunghoon stood there, his eyes widening in surprise. “Y/n? What… what are you doing here?”

You opened your mouth to speak, but the words caught in your throat, a choked sob escaping instead. His face softened instantly, his arms reaching out to pull you inside, wrapping you in a tight embrace.

“What did he do this time?” Sunghoon’s voice was low, a protective edge to his words.

You buried your face in his chest, his familiar scent grounding you as the tears finally fell. “I… I’m so stupid,” you choked out, your body trembling. “I keep going back… I keep letting him hurt me…”

Sunghoon’s arms tightened around you, his chin resting on top of your head. “You’re not stupid, Y/n. You just… you want to be loved.”

Your chest tightened, the words hitting too close to home. “I just… I thought he loved me. I thought… I could be enough for him.”

He pulled back, his hands cupping your face, his eyes filled with a pain that mirrored your own. “You are enough. More than enough. He’s just too blind to see it.”

You looked up at him, his face so close, his thumbs gently wiping away your tears. “Then why does it feel like no one will ever love me?”

His eyes softened, his forehead resting against yours as his voice dropped to a whisper. “I love you, Y/n. I’ve always loved you.”

Your heart stopped, the world falling away as his words sank in. Sunghoon… loved you?

Before you could process it, his lips were on yours—soft, warm, and everything you didn’t know you needed. He kissed you slowly, tenderly, like he was trying to piece you back together, like he was erasing every hurt and lie you’d ever been told.

You kissed him back, your hands gripping his shirt as you melted into him, his touch grounding you, his presence comforting in a way you’d never felt before.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead still pressed against yours, his eyes searching yours for any sign of regret, you found yourself smiling—genuine and real. For the first time in a long time, you felt loved.

And maybe, just maybe, you could learn to love yourself, too.

[werezmastarbucks]

honey badger

masterlist - part 5 of 6

in which you go on a date with yoongi and he turns out to be literally the best human??? who is surprised?

yoongi x reader

word count: 3073

warnings: yoongi speaking about his scooter incident (i will throw hands)

music: crescent moon by aleph, moonlight by anthony lazaro and marle thomson

You pushed the door, with the other hand struggling to push the disobedient strand oh hair behind your ear. You thought of that one absolutely insane lock of hair that always lies next to Yoongi's ear and got an unsurmountable desire to see it as soon as possible. The bag on your shoulder was heavy with your laptop, papers and folders inside, but you spotted him immediately on the sidewalk. Black cap on his head, but his shoulders were straight today, hands in pockets, head turning right and left: he wanted to be seen. Before you managed to even say hello, you noticed the car he was standing next to:

"Of course".

A thought wormed its way into your skull: how much money exactly does he have? Is it googleable? What do you need to brace yourself for?

"What? It's the best car I have".

You felt timid. Yoongi smiled a little shyly, like before, like he didn't choose to take you to a bubble-tea cafe in a Porsche. The type of car people have sex in. At least that's the stereotype. You craned your neck to look at his left ear, where the black crescent was, and satisfaction washed over you.

"Huh? What is it?"

"Nothing", you smiled, "I really like this".

You braved up and touched the strand of hair, brushed the tip of your finger over his cheek. Yoongi didn't budge, but tensed up a little. He didn't drop his smile though.

"Oh, that. I have full head of that".

"Do you know how many hairs an average human has?" you asked, as he circled the ridiculously slick car, sitting there on the road like an expensive toy, and opened the door for you. People were turning their heads.

"No, how many?"

"I don't know".

As he got into the passenger's seat, he looked at you clutching your bag on your knees and carefully took it from you and put it in the back.

"A million hairs?"

"A billion", you suggested, "billion trillion hairs".

He sighed.

"That would be so hard to brush".

"Very heavy", you agreed. You both grinned. He started the car with that pleasant purr, and the car moved, wheel smooth under his palms. Yoongi took off his cap and threw it in the back, too, shaking his head.

"Have you eaten?"

He was asking all these small questions, like, how was your day? What did you do? How did you sleep? You knew the last question was placed carefully in the end not to sound too concerned, because he definitely remembered. All your body wanted to tense up, sitting in this car, the circumstances of going on a date with a freaking millionaire, but as you glanced at him, every time, the nervousness took a step back. That was a good sign: the sight of Yoongi relaxed you. He drove calmly with a frog face, pulling his lips to the sides, entertained by the road, and chatting with you lightly. He didn't really make a big deal about it, spreading his chill to you, so you found it easy to speak to him.

"I was never good at this", he was finding a word, "switch, you know. When do I get to tell you that you look nice? Why can't I say it when we're just friends?"

You realized you were biting your lip when your eyes were on him, and released it.

"Because there's a code, there's friendship vocabulary, and there's romantic vocabulary".

"But girls tell each other that all the time".

"Do you tell Minji if she looks nice?"

The thought of Minji was still somewhat triggering to him, because he scrunched his nose, like at the unpleasant memory.

"Okay, I get it".

He thought a little.

"But I do, sometimes. She likes to hear it".

"You're a good brother".

"Namjoon forced us to be good brothers to Minji".

He stumbled upon his own thought, undoubtedly thinking about the same thing as you,

"Except Seokjin, of course. What the fuck", he whispered to himself.

"You know, she is much happier than she was last year".

He looked at you as if to check if you're lying.

"Really?"

"Yes".

"I love Jin. I do. He is a good man; but I always believed he only loved himself".

"There's always a Minji", you grinned.

"Let's not talk about them", Yoongi sighed, turning the wheel, and the car started slowing down to the curb. You looked outside.

"Because when Namjoon finds out and starts killing people, I want to pretend I didn't know".

He helped you out of the car, took your hand, and it was gentle and firm. The street was crowded, and he clearly was in a good mood, because then his hand pushed you lightly in the small of your back:

"Run, run!"

You sprinted towards the doors of the cafe; he left the cap in the car. Whether he really wanted to get out of the street, or just played, you went along.

He asked about your work; he pushed a little muffin towards you across the table, that he insisted you eat after the salad you'd ordered; Yoongi had a habit of looking to the side, at the invisible spot in the air, when he spoke about something serious. He didn't know where to put his hands, sitting his elbows on the table, then hiding them, then running his hands through his hair; like what he really wanted to do was to hold yours. But conversation went easily and the understanding you immediately caught back then, in September, was a great foundation for pushing out the awkwardness of a first date. Yoongi managed to immediately understand what you were talking about, and vice versa. You helped him with some English words, and he confessed that he always thought that 'unbearable' is connected with a bear, the animal. More bears, or fewer bears, depending on how hard it is. You told him his imagination was not too far off. You debated with yourself whether it's worth telling him what internal conflict you have, and decided he'd understand, too.

"I was very unwilling to go to the party in the first place", you explained.

"Namjoon's birthday?"

"Yes. And then, just, I have this negative prejudice against idols".

You looked at him honestly. Yoongi didn't seem shaken at all.

"I don't feel like an idol", he said, "I think of myself as a musician. That suits me better. I like music more. I would prefer to just make music, for myself and for people".

"How did you end up in the biggest band in the world then?" hearing this out loud was so scary that you thought, you should run. The way he laughed with only his shoulders stopped you.

"They tricked me. They straight up lied to me and said I will produce music. Next thing I know, I am dancing my ass off and Hoseok is yelling at me".

He bowed his head and scratched his temple, restless hands.

"You treat me like a normal person. Like a human".

"That doesn't happen?"

His eyes searched the space for an answer. It took him a while.

"No".

"What about the other members? It's very clear you are family".

"Yes, but they are all also... not human now. You know? They don't get to do normal things. Buy food in the supermarket", he paused after each sentence, "hold hands with someone".

"Don't you have any free time at all?" you wondered. He shook his head.

"It's not that. We have free time. We are just afraid, always".

You felt so bad for him, for the way the industry crafted them all, granted them with straight, white teeth, smooth skin, ethereal wolfcuts, perfect chins and the desireability of angels, and then severed their drive to live and use all of that. It was worse than claustrophobic, like they were all in chokeholds, all the time. It must be a very narrow path to choose to live like that, a path that only significantly unique people would choose. Yoongi looked at you like he was recording your face with his eyes, with a kind of anxious question, trying to predict what you'd say, what you'd think of him. You realized that he was as scared of you, as you were of his baggage. Then you realized your baggage was maybe lighter, and of different sort, but still nothing to be jovial about. You wanted to lift him up a little. He was, after all, yours for the day, and deserved to smile. It dawned on you that you might no have your happy ever after with him, but today would last for exactly as long as it's supposed to.

You left the cafe quietly happy, the both of you, and he took you home without asking for more. Only, for a second date? You nearly forgot your bag in his labyrinth-like car. He had to dive inside, his ass up, to get it out.

When you fell in love, you hated the way your brain handled it. You'd lose appetite completely, and you'd get very jumpy. You'd get dizzy occasionally, like the room would start spinning. The good side of it this time was, though, that the PTSD symptoms were absolutely rummaged and buried under the new stress factor. Now you couldn't sleep because you were nervous all the time, and not because the sounds of the street scared you. The nightmares changed: instead of the standard car crash, you started getting the weird dream in which you kept falling and falling into pinkish-dark abyss with nothing to hold on to.

You discovered that you could only eat when Yoongi was literally in front of you, like your brain used him as a hook to ground and distract itself. While it admired his face, you could stuff as much food in yourself as you could, replenishing involuntary starvation.

"Oh?" he was a little concerned.

"Why do you not eat?" he immediately pushed another plate towards you. The table was already full of it, but he wanted you to have meat in view.

"I'm too nervous", you replied, your face like a stone, "I think I am falling for you, hard".

You were too adult to mince your words about it. Plus, Yoongi said it first. Nevertheless, he got flustered and lowered his eyes, pouting a little. You noted this reaction.

"You should eat", was all he could muster.

"I am", you replied and put a huge piece of chicken into your mouth. He was chewing his upper lip for a second, then gathered his courage again.

"You are very beautiful when you eat", he said. You froze in your place, in between the two motions of jaws. He shrugged, like, I said what I said, and got to his own plate.

"Only when I eat?"

"No, not only when you eat".

"That's a strange kink to have".

He chucked into his dish and looked up at you.

"You know what I meant", then: "have you thought about a cat?"

You nodded,

"I keep postponing, I don't know, why. I have a stable job, really, I am just being cowardly about it. I just have to get a pet, a lizard, a rat, whatever".

"What's your favorite animal?" he asked. You didn't need to think even a second:

"Honey badger".

Yoongi made a face.

"Huh? What's that?"

He took out his phone and googled because the picture just didn't click in his head.

"Aah. He looks like... that... you know Hugh Jackman movie?"

"Yes, wolverine. Fun fact: the characterization of Wolverine in the comics and the movies is more suitable for a honey badger rather than a wolverine. Honey badgers are the psychopaths of the animal world. They will fight whoever, whenever, and they are incredibly tough. It's almost impossible to kill them. Some of them have such thick skin that some bullets can't pierce it. Also", you pointed the chopstick at him. Yoongi was listening with his perfect mouth open,

"The skin of a honey badger is not connected to its... uh, flesh? and muscles, so it can twist inside its own skin. If a tiger grabs it with the teeth by the neck, honey badger can twist and turn around and bite the tiger in the face. They are incredibly tough. They are savage. They are great survivalists".

He nodded, impressed.

"I thought you'd say a cat, or a butterfly, but I like it".

"What is yours, Yoongi?" He shook his head,

"Y/N, I haven't thought about his since high school. I have no idea. I love Holly".

"I don't see him much anymore", you complained, "why don't you take him with you?"

Yoongi looked caught up. He opened his mouth and stared above you.

"About that... I, ugh, had to take him to parents. They really... I decided that I travel too much, and just, constantly moving him is not good".

"Oh", you got upset, "I thought you'd ask to babysit him again sometime".

"I'm sorry. My mom also asked to see him. They really wanted him. He's very popular", he looked guilty.

"Alright", you sighed, "where do your parents live?"

"In Daegu. It's about three hours away from Seoul".

"Oh, long way".

"I like driving. I missed driving", he said, brushing his hand across his face, and smiled a little, hiding something in between his lips.

"Have you heard about it?"

You shook your head no.

"Oh right, you weren't here at the time". Yoongi's face changed to amused expression.

"I fell off a scooter and had my license revoked for two years".

"Electric scooter?" you clarified, shocked.

"Yes, I was a little drunk. I scarred my knee a little".

You chuckled.

"Dammit, some laws here are very tough. Dude, people who find it criminal wouldn't survive a day in Europe".

His smile was big and unsure. You gave him a long look.

"What?"

"I don't know if you want to hear this, with your hatred of the industry".

"Go on".

"People started sending me death threats and In was almost kicked out of the band".

"Sorry, what? For falling off an electric scooter?"

Yoongi laughed now. He was laughing now, but the tone of this laugh clearly showed what he had to go through to be able to laugh now.

"It's tough. It was tough. But I got my license back".

"So, you get it every time you do anything out of the ordinary", you concluded. He nodded. Right before your eyes, the missing pieces of the puzzle were joining and completing the picture. His quiet stoicism was coming through clearly now, explaining why he was so patient with his life and people around. Yoongi finished his glass of beer and said,

"The first time when we had a girl in our music video, we were boycotted for half a year, and lost nominations for MAMA".

You covered your ears with your hands because you wanted to unhear this.

"But it helps you to understand how to navigate in this world. It builds the character, you know, things like that".

"Hatred and death threats?"

He nodded,

"Yes. It always helped me work. You know, are you listening to music here while we're here?"

You nodded. The soft, toned down soundtrack from the radio was playing on the background, flowing from one song into another.

"We've been here, how much, an hour?" he looked at his phone for time, "Seven songs played, that I wrote".

It was nice to see him unlock this side. Yoongi's arms were resting calmly on the edge of the table. Even if he was trying to impress, you felt he had a full right. It weaved a meaningful message. It made you change the lense through which you viewed him.

"You are a honey badger", you realized. His eyes lit up a little, pleased with the unexpected words.

"That's crazy".

He lifted way more than eighty, that's what he meant. You hoped he understood that you'd never forget it, too. There was previously absent determination in his look, a shade of pride. Paired with the salmon-pink of his superior smile, it was almost completely irresistible.

You decided to walk off the weight of food after dinner. Your heels clicked rythmically on the sidewalk as Yoongi walked beside you. When he held the door for you, he took your hand to help you step over the threshold and never released it. He got tired of speaking about himself, quite pleased with the bomb equivalent of information he gave you, and switched to you, acting petulant if you asked something back. His dark cat eyes begged you to remove himself from the conversation as he silently gushed over you.

You walked to the river and took to the embankment. It reminded you of the night you walked with Holly in the dark park, and you told Yoongi about it. He smiled with the corner of his mouth, his long hair covering his eyes. You touched his right shoulder as the memory of his trauma came back, too. You were learning about his silent cues. He didn't lean forward but didn't flinch either, like a statue that craved to be in contact. As you approached a curve in the road, Yoongi's hand suddenly slid across your waits, and he lifted you up with his strong right hand. With that, he sat you onto the parapet. You adjusted the skirt of your bodycon dress to release your knees, and Yoongi stepped closer, holding you in place.

"Aren't I supposed to face river?" you asked. Yoongi stepped to your side, putting your knees against his hip.

"No", he said simply. The halo of dark-green trees behind him. May was swinging its heavy summer bat. The river smelt of grass and earth, giving strange, home-like comfort. Yoongi's hands were resting on your sides securing you in your place so that you wouldn't move, like he was aiming for surgical accuracy. Your lips touched his open plump mouth, and immediately you bit him, because you wanted to do it for the longest time, maybe even on the first day as you met him and his local pout. Maybe you should've thrown yourself at him back there at the bar, while you were in your SPOILT top, and he, in his full black mourning attire. Maybe he would've even refused to push you away.

[rekino2114]

Could you do prompt 21 for teruko and hu from despair time

Aftercare with teruko tawaki and hu jing

Suggestive post

Prompts list

A/n:I'm pretty sure all drdt characters are 18 (correct me if I'm wrong), but just to be safe, everyone involved in this is over 18

Teruko tawaki

Teruko has no real idea what to do after the moment is over, she just lies on the bed and thinks about how good it felt and how she actually scored

She genuinely can't believe it. She never thought she'd date someone much less get to this level but she can't deny it felt incredible and she wants to do it again

When she comes back to reality she's so embarrassed that she doesn't know what to do next

"Oh sorry........I was just thinking.....so....do we just cuddle now or what?"

"Sure if you want to"

She actually discovered she really loves naked cuddling for some reason, just the skin on skin contact helps her remember that you're still there with her and never leaving her. She'd love it if you could so it in a non sexual situation but she's way too embarrassed to ask

One of the times you actually did someone walked in on you (probably because of teru's luck) and teruko just wanted to die right there while you explained that you were in fact not having sex

Sometimes her body feels sore despite both of you being gentle, and despite her insisting that it's nothing (it was very not convincing, she could barely get up from the bed) you gave her a massage and her entire body felt better it was like magic so it instantly became a regular thing during aftercare

She loves it when you fall asleep on her naked chest, and she gets to look at your adorable sleeping face. She loves seeing your face in general, but for some reason, in this moment, knowing that she brought you pleasure and happiness like this makes her happy too

[You're laying on teruko's chest while she hugs you]

"........I love you so much"

[You stir a bit, but she cuddles you closer, and you fall back asleep]

"Good night y/n......and thank you"

[She smiles and kisses your forehead before falling asleep too]

Hu jing

This girl is the absolute best at aftercare. She just loves taking care of you in every possible way and especially in the bedroom so aftercare is obviously a part of that

First thing first, she always asks you if you enjoyed that. The answer is obviously yes, turns out she's great at taking care of you even in the most intimates of ways. She also asks if it hurt, which never happens cause she's incredibly gentle all the time, but she still wants to check as she would hate for you to feel anything but pure pleasure while being with her

She then runs a bath, and while you're waiting for the tub to fill, she gives you a massage, and it genuinely feels like she has the hands of an angel (something you could also ascertain earlier) she touches all the right spots and it feels like you're about to fall asleep from how relaxing it is but try to stay awake to feel the rest of the amazing aftercare

She's also insanely good at cleaning you in the bath. You're as good as new whenever she's done with you, and of course, you clean her too once she's finished and she loves it too

You then finish the amazing night cuddling together until you fall asleep. If you can't, then she'll sing you a lullaby or bring you tea (even if she prefers doing that the morning after) but most of the times her soft body and voice are enough to make you sleep

The best part is that during all of this, she's praising you and telling you how amazing you did, even if she basically did everything to make you feel good. She praises you a lot during the lovemaking (that's the only way she'll call it because she doesn't want to be too vulgar) just because she loves it and she definitely won't stop even after it's over. If you try to contradict her or tell her she was the one who did everything, she won't hear it. She hates you being negative or deflecting her praise and will double it if you do that

"Darling, you did so good today, the moment feel perfect"

"No please hu, you were the one-"

"Love, I thought we already went through this, you were amazing and don't try to deny it anymore ok?"

".......yes"

[She kisses your cheek and cuddles you closer to her]

"That's my good baby"

"But you were amazing too hu, seriously how are you this good?'

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that, I love making you feel happy and taking care of you, darling. The fact that you love being intimate with me makes me so happy too"

"I swear how did I get a woman as amazing as you?"

"Just being your adorable and sweet self my dear"

[2isted-chocol8-art]

question about time buddies cus im curious: 1) are they dating in the comics you make? they kiss and cuddle and be cute, but like are they together together? and 2) how did they get together, if so? like how did they confess? or did it just happen? basically im asking what are ur headcannons for how they start smooching? i lovelovelove all the time buds art youve made and the thought just came up that, well, theyve gotta start kissing somehow yknow?

Ohhh this is gonna be a very fun ask to answer where I'll pour a bunch of headcanons, so buckle up!!

I haven't yet settled on how I picture hearthian relationships, but I know that I want to make them kinda fluid. That is, relationships aren't strictly divided in platonic and romantic, it's normal and accepted to have crushes in friends, or to make out and sleep with people without romantic feelings involved. Each hearthian has their own preferences too, and since their population is quite small, there isn't a set standard. Some people choose to be exclusive, others don't. Some have many romantic experiences, others have none. For some, romance and sex are linked, while for others it is not. And since everyone is different in this regard there are not societal expectations on this, you can kinda go and try whatever works for you.

For hatchy, they are still figuring themself out and they were experimenting before the loop. They don't fully distinguish between romantic and platonic affection, the line is kinda blurred for them. Meanwhile, while Gabbro does make that distinction and they've have a few previous crushes, they're pretty open to making out with friends without the need for romantic feelings. Gabbro usually puts the focus on the other person's preferences, in that sense.

And so, are they dating? Honestly you can interpret them as you like, and I encourage people to see them as dating if they want, or not if they don't want to. You can even see them as strictly friends in some drawings and as dating in others, I don't really want you guys to follow my 'canon', in that sense.

For me personally though, I think that since they're in a time loop, they don't really bother with defining their relationship. They're the only conscious ones in the loop, they like to spend time together, they sometimes make out, but they arent technically dating, that label doesn't really make sense in the loop, right? From outside, I'd say it's close to a friends with benefits situation.

I also like to think that, in my post-loop comics, this relationship would start to get more defined with time, mostly because they're living back into a society and it kinda forces them to think about what they want regarding each other. I haven't thought much about the details, but I feel that although their dinamic doesn't change much compared to what they had in the loops, they do start having some 'dating' dynamics (they set limits regarding phisical affection with others, manage jelaousy situations, expect to spend more time together, etc,).

And in regards to your second question, how did they get together? I think that they become friends only after the loops starts (they never really hung out before) and they gradually become closer. Then, after the touch starvation and isolation starts becoming unbearable, they start smooching and making out mostly as a consequence of that absence, an attempt to search for that connection. This obviously makes it all the more intense and they end up kind of attached to the hip for a time (codependency my beloved). But again it's all kinda casual and very gradual, there is not a set moment where everything starts and they don't bother defining it either. It's mostly a matter of 'hey, this feels nice, let's keep doing it".

If I'm being honest I picture this starting as in "Next Time" or "Got Weird", thise fics perfectly capture the essence of how I think anything would start between these two in-loop sksksk.

And I think that's all? Thank you so much for this ask, it was a blast talking about all of this! I have a lot of headcanons for these two, and although I encourage you all to interpret my drawings as you like, I love talking about all of this!

[yey56]

Hey I just wanted to say I really love your Harley and believe you're the only one who got his character so far.I am also in love with your y/n and how you didn't make her perfect or useless.Not to be a bother but can you show or tell us Harley and y/n's relationship after their first kiss or just any of their general interactions?Whatever suits you,thank you.

It doesn't bother me at all, thank you for asking and I so happy I got Harley right. 💖💖

HARLEY SAWYER X PSYCOLOGIST READER

AFTER KISS HEADCANNONS

The first thing you noticed was Harley's hand on your face, caressing your cheek. He was only going to quickly clean near your lip but after feeling your jaw, your face, brushing his fingers against your neck he couldn't resist to cup your cheek.

The other hand fell down to loosely grab your waist. He was getting closer and you could feel his breath on your lips. You slowly put your hands on his shoulder, testing how he would react.

"Harley" you mumbled, you lips brushing his. That was enough for him to close the gap between the two of you. Your lips moving together, not in perfectly or coordinately way, but in your own way.

You tightened your grasp in the fabric of his shoulder as he fully envolved your waist with his hand while the one that was on you face fell down to your neck where he started caressing.

Finally you both separated from the kiss, both of you agitated but still close. His hand was still on your cheek and yours still on his shoulders

You looked at him again and got close to give him another short kiss. "Do you have any appointments left for today?" Harley asked you. "Yes I do, I still have to supervise Kissy Missy, she hasn't been responding lately"

"Good, come to my office after that, we have to discuss this in depth." He let you go and while you went to the enclosure of said toy, he remained still in the corridor looking at you intensely.

HEADCANNONS After the kiss:

At first sigh, there wasn't much change, maybe the staff of the company noticed you being closer than usual.

Now, Doctor Sawyer and you were seen together very often. Maybe not all lovey dovey but together nonetheless. The caretakers saw often Dr Sawyer accompanying you when you needed to go to Home sweet Home to talk with the children.

Once Ludwig joked to Sawyer that you two seemed glued together and Harley only shrugged not denying anything.

Now that you two had already acknowledged your feelings, little things he did for you sometimes became the norm and started becoming part of your routine.

For example: When you were finishing a design late at night in his office (you often spend time together in each others offices) and he was finishing surgery reports, he would offer you the sofa to sleep in.

Once you were asleep he would raise his gaze from the papers and look at you. Some nights, he would even approach you and touch your face very lightly, not wanting to wake you up.

Quiet moments like this made him calm and let him forget, just a little, about all of the chaos and restriction that your jobs were.

In the nights that he was in your office, he would be just behind you with his hand on your shoulder, looking at you writing and archiving some documents. Caressing your shoulder, then the back of your neck and sometimes, if he was feeling kind enough, he would massage the back of your scalp with his long, cold fingers.

Another thing that became more regular between you both was physical contact. He wasn't a touchy person. Hell he even felt repelled to it sometimes, but one thing he loved was the back massages you gave him.

He had a very tensed back and it felt like heaven whenever you would untangle all of the knots.

So he payed you back giving you head massages. He was probably the only person allowed to tangle and touch your hair. You two just melt into each others arms when you had contact.

Another thing that was common now was that you would do little task for each other. Like for example, Harley reminding you that you needed to drink water. You were so concentrated into your work that you just forgot how much time it had been since your last glass of water.

You sometimes shave the little stubble he had on the sides of his face, styling his facial hair so he would look all put together. This also applied with the hair. You cut his hair and mantain it in the way he liked.

One night that you miraculously ended your work sooner than expected he invited you for dinner.

The restaurant was a fancy one, both your salaries permitted you to be there.

The night went by very calmly, you talked about work and what projects you had in mind. At some point you started talking about your experiences in collage...

The night continued to go on until you both finally went to your apartment. You lived in a good neighborhood and your place was nicely decorated. The first thing Harley though when entering your apartment was you. Everything in there screamed you.

You invited him to a few drinks and gave him some reports and books about investigations on child psychology so he could study his experiments on a deeper level.

The drinks were forgotten on the table after a few sips.

He barely talked while you ranted for minutes about techniques to manage anxiety crisis or stress attacks that sometimes overcame the toys on the prison.

He looked at you, talking and talking. It was always like this. You talked nonstop and he would listen, but lately he also started admiring you. Your hand gestures, you movements, your words slipping due to talking to fast...

You stopped talking when he started to gently stroke your neck with a precision only a surgeon could manage to have. He started naming the muscles, nerves, veins and arteries that were in your neck

With each name he said, he got closer to you to the point of feeling his lips touching your neck.

He repeated the list of names but now kissing each place he named while laying you on the sofa of your living room.

There's no need to say that the night didn't end quickly.

————————————————————————

Another thing you both got used to do was taking books from your offices. Harley had anatomy books and autobiographies in his office and you had sociological, historic and anthropological ones.

Often you would spend your breaks in each others offices reading in the sofa, just enjoying each others presence.

The staff already suspected that you two were either together or at the verge to be. Hell even one of the children had drew you and Harley sit together in a chair while interviewing him.

Stella went to tease you about the drawing, and insisted on you keeping it.

At some point some guards started to joke about the two of you being together.

"Where is Dr (Y/L/N) right now, we have matter to discuss with them?" Leith asked to one of the guards accompanied by Stella

We need to discuss with her some changes on the home sweet home caretakers" Stella added.

She is in the observation room 007, accompanied by Dr Sawyer, sir" He responded cordially.

Both executives went to said room while the guard looked sideways to his coworker who was chuckling to himself.

"What are you laughing about" He asked, questioning what had his companion found that it was so funny

"Nothing, just wondering how Dr Sawyer would react when 'Mrs Sawyer' gets taken by these two for a reunion. I bet five dollar he will accompany them when they get out." He was now laughing a little bit louder but covering his mouth.

"You shouldn't be talking about that kind of stuff. If either of them hear you you might be the next dinner of Boxy Boo." He couldn't believe his coworkers audacity. He wasn't being discreet at all and that might cost them their jobs and life's.

Just as the guard predicted, the four executives went to the upper levels. Apparently Harley insisted on supervising the changes on the environment of the potential experiments children

-Unedited-

[ihaznoclue]

Are your requests still open? 👀👀👀

Can I ask for TFP headcanons for Bumblebee, optimus and Arcee?? With a reader based on Jinx from arcane? (Jinx reader as a Decepticon that eventually joined team prime(??)

I just had this idea in my head and I can't stop thinking about it

Jinx is a really complex character and has so much potential, I love her

Pairings -> Bumblee, Optimus Prime, Arcee x Reader

Warnings -> Mental health Issues

Note -> Reader is based on Jinx from Arcane and switched from Decepticon to the prime team

Genre -> Fluff

Bumblebee

You relationship with Bumblebee is a bit complex

Meaning that you have no idea what he is saying as all you heard is beep and boops

You remembered when you were on the side of the Decepticons, Megatron talked about the scout of the autobot team and how he ripped his audio box out

Meaning that he has no voice

I mean you were feeling bad for the poor guy but you just didn't really care that much as you had your own problems to deal with

But being in the autobots team for a while now you started to realise that they never yelled at you for something, they never told you off or did anything to you

Bee respected your privacy and personal space as you told that you didn't like to be touched

Bee wanted to get closer to you, so he tried some stuff that he thought you would like

Maybe some parts that he found from a mission for you to do your inventions

He heard from Miko that you like to create and fix stuff

You appreciated it, thanking him and then went your own way

You felt like you found a family

A family that you hoped you wouldn't mess up on

Optimus Prime

Ever since you came to the autobots teams

Optimus always welcomed you in open arms even though you didn't some horrible stuff in the past when you were with the Decepticons

Optimus knows that you didn't mean to do any of that since Megatron is very manipulative towards his colleagues

Spite you being a 'criminal' he knows that you were kind of messed up int he head

He knows your past, he knows how your past was when you were younger and he is willing to help

But for now he is going to respect you and your boundaries

Optimus will often tell his friends they should keep a safe distance from you as he was told you didn't like to be touch because of 'reasons'

You felt like Optimsu was becoming a father figure to you

He was gentle and never disrespected you

He sort of pulled out your other personality which was rare of people to see

Whenever you are doing something, like fixing or making your inventions

He will always tell the others that you are busy and need some space on your own for a bit

Optimus doesn't want you to feel like your on your own

He wants you to feel like you are wanted

Arcee

Okay you know when Smokescreen was like coming to earth in a decepticon pod and Arcee had to take a while to warm up to him

Yeah I feel like she would be like towards you after being on the Decepticon warship and all

Thinking that you were a spy or something that would get information from the autobot team and then spread it out to the cons to defeat the autobots

But instantly she notices nothing from you

You were a distant sometimes loud and chaotic person

But she decided to keep an eye on you for a while until she knows your not working for the cons

When she does warm up to you, she would try to keep a conversation but if she knows that you are not int he mood to talk she would leave you be

Sometimes she would catch you fixing your gun or your machine gun

She would be tense about that but would ask you if you are use to guns

You were very talented when you were little always getting the target so you decided to show her some of your skills of your own

You and Arcee would be quite close in my opinion

-A<3

[secretlyazombi3]

Ada Wong's Love Languages ….ᐟ ᰔ

ada wong x gn! reader

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ a/n: i’m so sorry for not posting!!! I was sick for a week to the point i could barely move, then the week after i had multiple tests at school in one week so i couldn't write 😭😭 i tried to keep this gender neutral but the reader kind of sways towards being fem. not proof read ! 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

જ⁀➴ #1 - ACTS OF SERVICE ⊹₊⟡ 

᱖ ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎

╰┈➤ Ada can’t be there for you as much as she’d like. She’s always at work and always trying to keep you both safe, so she has to love you from a distance. She also loves caring for you - it’s a very welcome change from what she does for work every day.

╰┈➤ Whenever she has to suddenly leave again, she’ll do something for you. Sometimes she’ll leave you something you’ve been needing for a while - snacks, a refill of your favorite perfume, etc. 

╰┈➤Sometimes she’ll leave you cash so you can buy yourself something while she’s gone.

╰┈➤ While she’s gone, she tries her best to still do things for you, so expect to have food anonymously ordered to your place randomly. 

╰┈➤ When she returns home from her mission, she tidies things up before you come home or before she even lets you know that she’s back. 

╰┈➤Ada’s a woman of few words, so she’ll do things to help you out without ever telling you. Sometimes you’ll notice that your car’s gas has been filled or that your car’s cleaner than usual.

╰┈➤She likes cooking for you, too. You’ll come home from work and find dinner already done and on the stove. It’s always a bit of a surprise when it happens because she never tells you what she’s planning.

╰┈➤Whenever she has to get up for work earlier than you, she’ll pack you your lunch for when you do leave for work. 

╰┈➤She likes driving you places. Not only is it nice to just spend the little time she has outside of work with you, she likes helping you out. She’s also a bit jealous sometimes, so she wants to take you places so people know you’re taken. 

જ⁀➴ #2 - WORDS OF AFFIRMATION⊹₊⟡ 

᱖ ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎

╰┈➤ Ada likes to keep herself cool and mysterious, but she still finds ways to express her thoughts and her love for you through small comments. 

╰┈➤Ada’s compliments always drive you crazy, even when they’re something small and subtle. She knows how to make you flustered over the smallest things thanks to the way she speaks. She makes the simplest words sound seductive. 

╰┈➤She likes making you flustered and needy. She hardly acts that way herself, but she loves teasing you, complimenting you, praising you until you can hardly stand it, until you’re begging for her. 

╰┈➤ She loves making small compliments on your appearance. If you wear something new or dress up nice, she’ll look you up and down and say something small like “That outfit looks good on you”.

╰┈➤She likes slipping in small compliments by calling you things like ‘beautiful’ or lovely’ into her conversations with you. 

╰┈➤Ada’s not lovey-dovey, but she does love it when you compliment her back. She loves every compliment she gets, whether it’s calling her pretty or complimenting her attentiveness to you. 

જ⁀➴ #3 - PHYSICAL TOUCH ⊹₊⟡ 

᱖ ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎

╰┈➤ Ada really takes physical touch seriously. She likes being passionate, so she savors physical affection to make it extra special. 

╰┈➤She likes being the one to initiate kisses, but she doesn’t kiss you super often. She likes catching you off guard with her kisses. 

╰┈➤She gives you forehead/cheek kisses more than other types of kisses. It’s a small way for her to show you how much she loves you without her feeling that she’s being too intimate. 

╰┈➤Neck and collarbone kisses are her favorite ever. Giving AND receiving. She really loves feeling your lips on her sensitive skin, it’s passionate and feels super intimate. She likes being a bit possessive over you, so sometimes she’ll kiss your neck to leave behind an obvious kiss mark so people know you’re hers. 

╰┈➤Sometimes, though, she can’t help herself. If she’s drunk and needy or she’s just come home from a long mission, she just wants you. She’ll kiss you, long and hard, over and over, all over your face and body until you’re covered in her red lipstick. 

╰┈➤She’s a bit shy on obvious PDA, however. She’s used to living in mystery and having to hide. She doesn’t want to make you a target either. So she limits the PDA as much as possible. She tries not to hold your hand or anything when you’re out in the open. 

╰┈➤However, she’ll be a bit more lenient on it if you guys aren’t near many people/crowds or aren’t just out in the open. If you’re shopping together at a small store or something, she’ll let her guard down momentarily and hold your hand.

╰┈➤ Ada loves cuddling, she loves to spoon you mostly but she’ll accept you spooning her too. She likes cuddling you to make sure you’re safe all night beside her. She won’t admit it, but cuddling her is very reassuring. It helps her relax after a long day of work and reminds her that there’s someone there for her. 

╰┈➤She’s also quite a romantic, even though she won’t directly say it. She likes to take a warm bath after she returns from a mission together so you can bathe together. She likes being physically close to you and likes when you wash each other. She loves the tenderness of just being able to clean each other.

જ⁀➴ #4 - GIFTS ⊹₊⟡ 

᱖ ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎

╰┈➤ Gifts mean a lot to Ada because she knows it’s one of the only ways she can be there for you always. 

╰┈➤She’ll buy you jewelry/flowers/accessories whenever she knows she’s going to be gone again for a while.

╰┈➤ Or she’ll give you something of hers. Whatever it is, she wants you to have something she knows will keep you thinking about her for as long as possible. 

╰┈➤She has a habit of borrowing things from you, too. 

╰┈➤Clothing, perfume, jewelry, anything small she can take without upsetting you. She misses you as much as you miss her, and she needs something to keep herself reminded of you. She’s just borrowing anyways, your items always end up back where they originally were after a while. 

╰┈➤And every gift she gives you is always either doused in her perfume or covered in lipstick kiss marks. She can’t help herself. 

જ⁀➴ #5 - QUALITY TIME ⊹₊⟡ 

᱖ ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎

╰┈➤ Ada was used to not spending much time with other people, so she’s found ways to manage being away from you for long periods of time. The longer you two dated, however, the more difficult it was for her to be away from you so much for so long

╰┈➤So, she tries to spend as much time as she can once she’s away from work. She’ll drive/walk with you wherever you need to go and cherish moments together, even if it’s as small as running errands.

╰┈➤She likes to talk to you about her day or ask you about your day as you two are cuddling to sleep. She wants to make every moment valuable, but she tries not to keep you up with her rambling. She knows you need your sleep as much as she did.

╰┈➤Whenever she’s away at work and she has time for a small break, she’ll immediately call you. She loves being able to hear your voice and it’s reassuring to know you’re doing okay with her gone. 

╰┈➤ She loves watching you as much as possible, taking in all the small details of your habits. Whenever she’s on the job nearby, she’ll sometimes make a stop by your place to check in on you. She weirdly loves watching you go about your day normally without you even realizing she’s there. Your presence is comforting and alluring to her.

[divab0dy]

Giving hamzah or art their first handjob🙈🙈💋

Hands on Learning

contains: smut MDNI!!! sub!art, virgin!art, hang job obv, lmk if there's anything else

authors note: okay i really wanted to write this about hamzah but i cannot picture him getting his first hj at his big age. art is pathetic tho i could picture him getting his first kiss at 35. maybe i'll write something similar with hamzah tho!! also side note this is like the worst thing i've ever fucking written so lmk if you want me to rewrite this😭

art had been the sweet kid, always in the shadow of patrick when he came around stanford. dragging art to parties of a school he didn't go to, forcing art to talk to people, guiding him on how to do so. sometimes with patrick feeding him information and things to say, it felt like the people he talked to were more of patrick's than his.

you were the first one who felt like his. he had met you at a party that he didn't go to with patrick. in fact he didn't even tell patrick about you until after he asked you out. he did this all on his own. you were also the only relationship that had ever gone anywhere besides a first date and kiss at the end of the night if he was lucky.

you were in his dorm, making out on his bed, sat up on your knees, next to him, tilting your head down to kiss him. this happened very often, but it never seemed to lead anywhere, he always had some work to do, or something for tennis to be at. you knew he was lying but couldn't quite understand why.

this particular time he seemed to be letting it go on longer than others, his hands wandered down your waist to your hips. you pull back slightly and move to put a hand on his thigh, but stop when you feel something plush. you pull back all the way, realizing that he has a pillow in his lap.

you laugh and he returns with a chuckle, his far more nervous than yours. "sorry," he breathes.

"it's okay. are you nervous?" you rest a hand on this pillow.

"yeah... sorry," he looks away as he speaks.

"do you not want to..." you trail off.

"no! no i do! i just..." now he's trailing off.

"we don't have to do anything you don't want to," you reassure.

"okay yeah... i mean i really want to... i'm just nervous," he sighs, his eyes meeting yours again.

"why don't you let me take this," you tug at the pillow and he allows it. you remove the pillow from his lap and notice how he's tenting in his black tennis shorts.

you kiss him again to distract him, placing a hand on his thigh to hopefully help calm his nerves. he jolts when your hand meets his thigh, not your intended reaction. you push your tongue past his lips, intruding in on his mouth as his does the same to yours.

you move to sit on his lap while he's distracted in the kiss. he reacts instinctively, pushing his hips up into yours and groaning into your mouth. you swallow his moans and return with a few of your own.

he pulls back, "i've never done this before," he blurts.

"never done what?" you reposition yourself, away from his cock, straining through the think material of his shorts.

"i'm like... i'm a virgin," his eyes can't seem to meet yours, his hands suddenly fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"that's okay... what have you done before?" you try to keep your voice sweet and sincere.

"really nothing... just hmm. just making out." he still can't meet yours eyes.

"we can start real slow of you want," you bring your hand down to rest on his thigh, next to his crotch. you're trying your best to keep your voice light hearted and calm, hiding the fact that you want to tear him apart and eat him alive.

"yeah... i'm really hard," he laughs at his own sentence. is he high? you think to yourself. surely not, you've been with him all day. he's just that out of it from a simple touch.

"okay, you wanna take these off?" you look down to where your fingers are hooked on the elastic of his shorts. he lifts his hips, and you lift yours in turn so that he can shimmy out of them. "yeah boxers too, good job." he's feeling exposed and embarrassed all of a sudden as he tries to tug his shirt down, even though he just purposely exposed himself. "can i touch you?" and boy do you want to do more than touch him. this is a mouth watering, jaw clenching, pussy throbbing sight.

"please," he sighs, his hands gripping at your thighs, trying to ground himself. he feels like if he doesn't hold on, he might drift out the slightly open window of his dorm, into the sky and away forever. you spit on your hand and bring it down to his cock, gently wrapping around the base. he shudders and closes his eyes, he's trying so fucking hard to last more than a stroke. you begin gentle, loose handed, slow. his hips are immediately.

"oh fuck... your hands so soft... feels better." he's so out of it. his eyes are squeezed shut and he's bucking into your loose grasp, body all tense.

"better than what?" you wonder out loud.

"better than my hand, so much better," his hands are gripping tightly at your thighs, rolling the plush flesh in between his fingers and thumbs.

"yeah? you want me to go faster?" you smile at him. he nods. "why don't you open your eyes and look at me hm?" you're voice has a sweetness to it that you didn't even know you had.

his eyes snap open and they're filled with desperation. "mm feels good," his head rolls back and hits the wall. you speed up and his body only jolts more. he's desperately rocking his hips up into your hand. any thought he had before of not wanting to finish early has gone out the window, now he's only chasing pleasure, pure primal instinct. you grip onto his cock tighter, bringing your other hand to play with his tip, fingers dancing around the redish-pink area in circles. it's like you know exactly how to drive him insane, how to touch him just how he needs you to.

"you close artie?" you whisper, kissing his neck.

"so close, so fucking close, gonna cum," he stutters out. you can barely make sense of his words.

"it's okay, you can cum," and with that you grab his balls, giving them a light squeeze, tracing the seam with your thumb.

he's cumming in an instant, all over. your hands, your wrist, his chest, his thighs, dripping down to his balls, you name it. it's everywhere.

"fuck 'm sorry, i meant to... i meant too." the clarity is hitting but at the same time he's never felt so good in his entire fucking life. not even close to that. he can't speak properly and he's still twitching all over.

"i wanted to last longer" he shudders, moving you off of him and pulling up his shorts.

"it's okay artie, you did real good." you smile, cupping his cheek with one hand.

he blushes, embarrassed, but melts into your touch.

[brujc]

I find it so interesting that we don't have much Akane info on the new TL!! Makes lot of room for personal interpretations!

Akane and Aoi were definitely still in touch in this new TL but their relationship must've been veryyyy different without the whole confession/rejection and constantly-tip-toeing-the-line-between-ambiguous-and-romantic-relationship dynamic going on.

First of all, Aoi really changed in this world from the changes it indirectely induced in her life : being Teru's acquaintance and having the "engaged" status made her way more..let's say open? Sincere? A lot less well-guarded! She doesn't seem to have as much weigh on her shoulders and yknow she's just more honest!

She just seem overall more willing to express her emotions instead of hiding them! And more straightforward (through this whole new TL arc).

Then, we have a probably very big change in Akane's attitude towards Aoi. With her engaged status, she isn't "available" anymore and he surely didn't do all the "courting" he did in the original TL, not when she is bound to be with someone else (maybe he did when it just started but must've stopped way before the current point in the story). Aoi probably didn't really indulge him either : she had to make her mother happy after her dad left, she couldn't afford to let her down, couldn't let her feelings make the act break.

Then, Akane's public display of affection is probably gone too since Aoi and Teru have to keep up the appearances of a happy couple at school- him interfering too much would create rumors and stuff.

So yeah no constant affirmations of his undying love, no confessions, no rejections either. Just...feelings that are definitely there for each other from what we've seen of Aoi's POV but cannot be acted upon.

No Akane constantly rebuilding himself around her either tho. With that gone, he probably acted more like his "usual" self (the blunt, still intense Akane) around her then. Just his casual personality. (Makes me wonder how he joined the student council in this timeline! Probably not to make Aoi swoon for him this time? What else could there be tho..)

So to me, new TL Akane and Aoi would have a bit more distant relationship, but with much more.."themselves"(?) behaviour around each other than in original TL (not to say they weren't already but..I can't quite pinpoint the word I'm looking for haha. I see their relationship as much less sweet and soft and more of a down to earth one. More toned-down romantic than romantic romantic).

I like to think they used to hangout really often when they were kids, playing in parks like in that one flashback from Aoi, talking to each other through the balcony and meeting at houses...At the start of the engagement Akane was maybe angry? He tried to find some solution to break it off and used to drag Aoi into secret meetings and plans work-throughs to get her out of it. Aoi would think with him, watch him work, smile with him and let him hope, while knowing in the back of her mind that he didn't stand any chance. Inevitably, they grew apart by the years, still longing for each other and wanting something ,but knowing they couldn't have it. This time, they weren't meant to be, or maybe they were, but the ropes fate tied to their hands made shoulders brush and touches linger but forbid them from getting anything more. Anything they wanted.

I like to think that they both are salty about the situation and occasionally take jabs at each other when they feel particularly frustrated. That there's an omnipresent tension between them whenever they interact. There's that acknowledgment of their feelings for each other they both know are there but well that goes unsaid cause what can they do about it anyway?

Sometimes they let their sadness show. They let the other see how much they wished for better circumstances. They're silently confort each other, they act close and let themselves dream a little... And then back to square zero, up again is the wall that separates them, the wall that doesn't let him tell her, the wall that doesn't let her tell him, but is cruel enough to let them dig through it and hang on to that hope. Maybe one day, he thinks; at least one day..she whispers, as they silently dig and dig and pierce holes in that thick, thick wall, never big enough to go through, never small enough to ignore. Two fools dreaming about what could've been, hands bloodied and bruised and dirty but with a miniscule dent to the other side and that's enough to make them continue. Cause they're too stubborn to let go.

So, when they come across each other they exchange proper greetings, they talk politely and if chapped fingernails and poorly masked cuts are seen, that goes unsaid.

Sometimes, they let themselves indulge. Because in reality, they're as much builders as they're diggers . And this old construction of theirs isn't as thick as they like to pretend. It isn't thick enough to stop their heart from aching. Never thin enough to make them give up on it. Too much to stop them from digging into. Built on the most unsteady grounds , it is bound to crumble again and again and again. And foolish as they are, they let themselves dream a little before putting the bricks back on. Truly, what were they if not dreamers?

And so, they drop the act. It not like they were ever acting anyway : never did they try to deny what they had for each other; they just had to tone it down cause what else but problems would that bring if they didn't?

She calls him "Kane" and he calls her "Ao", the nicknames a mockery of their situation, their actual status that will never be more than "Akane-kun" and "Aoi-san" , their linked fingers a bitter joke and the couple on that big screen dry, cruel, irony of the worst kind.

Still. They let their hands squeeze tighter together, their knees brush gently on the sofa. She doesn't acknowledge it. He doesn't either. And like countless times before, he almost leans in and closes the gap, weren't he wasn't painfully aware of the singular bell displayed on her neck, hauntingly - almost supernaturally glowy, matching with a bracelet he definitely didn't want to think about, especially now.

He leans back and he's sure she caught him. And just like every other time, she turns doesn't say a word, caught up in her thoughts. Just like every other time, he saw a glint in her eyes when he got closer that seemed to yell "Will you do it this time, coward?". And he just knows his own coppers mirrored this. Will I do it this time? That was a funny question, because it was pointless. Because he knows he won't. He wants to - to break that damn line they set up in the sand ever since her mother started requesting for them to see each other less. He wants to let her do what she wants, walk off of that road they built for her. Heck- he wants to be selfish for once. But he knows that he will regret it in the end because what would this do but hurt them? Getting a glimpse of freedom made the ache hurt more and he couldn't bear causing her to be in pain. In the ends he just wants her to be happy.

" My, my, you can't do that to an engaged young-woman, 'Kane ♥" she said after some time. But there was no mischief in her tone and her eyes were oh so sad. It made his heart clench.

"...Right." he answered. I wish you didn't have to be, he wanted to add. He didn't.

...They were truly one of a pair, holding on to this ambiguous relationship for far longer than they should've when rings and shrines and electric blues were in the picure.

But when he looked at her, he knew he could never have it any other way.

Three words hanged heavy on his tongue. He found it hard to let them out, but it was no surprise : ever since this engagement, he forbid himself from ever pronouncing them. He turned his gaze back on her.

I love you, he thought, as he picked a brick back up.

Ahh doomed Aoiaoi I love you..

Wish I were OG TL Terry rn to know more about them..

Trying to get new timeline info to write the fic and i'm dying i have NOTHING on new timeline Akane

I guess Akane becoming depressed/distressed about Aoi engagement happen in the New Timeline too?? Aoi at least doesn't seem surprised by it, just... sad.

She still calls him Akane-kun so they must have contact still?? So how do their convos go, it must be so awkward, save me. And where does Teru fit into all of this? i want to explode-