#i do think it's too many spinning plates and I don't know where to focus

[rocknrollsalad]

here's what i have in my one shot folder:

5+1 attempts to sneak past steve in family video (half written)

steve signed an nda

stargyle letter writing (started)

That isn't as much as i thought so that's kind of good, I think?

unfinished (leftover) bingo fills are as follows:

pet names 5+1

sunny mornings

other unfinished things that aren't in the one shot folder

the fic that was formerly the big bang story (intro needs a total overhaul and who knows what does after that)

podcast idea that is very very loud all the time (not even started or researched or anything close to ready to write)

teacher steve (half published and in need of continuation)

challenges/events

eddie month

[theautisticmidwife]

~ The story so far 🦋

I did say I didn't have the attention span to keep up with a blog 😂 Or did I not say that? I dunno, anyway, I'm spinning a lot of plates but the next thing I think is important to talk about is the back story! As best I can anyway 🙂

My mum suspected something was a bit different about me at a young age, but it was the early nineties and autism wasn't really a 'thing'. We were having a rough time too though, so I think subconsciously she maybe didn't want to acknowledge that I had something 'wrong' with me when she was already having to deal with so many other things that were problematic. I don't blame her for it or hold any ill feelings towards her at all of course! My mum's been my best friend when no one else has been, for 31 years now.

Right from nursery, I really struggled to 'fit in' and make friends. I've struggled to make and keep relationships with friends or partners my whole life. I was teased at nursery and there's this bloody awful photo of my whole nursery group after a dance class where all the other girls are wearing dark blue shimmery leotards and grinning at the camera, and I'm right on the end wearing a pale blue non-shimmery leotard gazing off in the wrong direction with my finger in my mouth. All the other girls had long straight hair, and I had short blonde curly hair, just to make me even more the odd one out 😂 It's a corker. I haven't been able to find it for years actually, I think my mum might have burned it...

At birthday parties I didn't really like to join in with the games or dancing and I had to actually be removed from the room with someone else's mum if there were balloons, cos I was terrified in case they popped. I've always been very sensitive to noise, especially loud noise or sudden noises that could give me a fright. I once let a door slam in my friend's face in Junior school because the fire alarm went off and I turned and legged it along the corridor cos the noise made me like ARGHHHH. In my last job, I used to cover my ears discretely when I knew they were gonna be testing the fire alarm, and if I see an ambulance coming silently along the road I tend to discretely cover my ears in case the siren suddenly starts up. In Infants school, if this one particular girl started getting upset about something (you know, daft things that little kids get upset over, like wanting to use the pink pen but someone else is using it) then I'd run off along the corridor and hide in the cloakroom under everyone's coats until the teacher realised I was missing and come to drag me back to the classroom. One particular teacher once didn't give me any sweets that she was handing out to the class the day before Christmas holidays started, and told my mum it was because I'd been a 'naughty girl' who 'kept running off and hiding'. Ignorant cow. I was never naughty. I was too quiet to be naughty! But, again, it was the nineties and that teacher wouldn't have had a clue what might really be going on.

I've never liked joining in with games in general (Someone made the mistake of buying me Monopoly when I was younger and I only made it about 5 minutes into my first and only game before I threw a little paddy and walked off, because I couldn't understand the rules and I hated maths). I've never liked being forced to sit with other people to eat. I'd much rather eat on my own (the eating disorder did nothing to help this of course).

I have my routine and I like things to be a certain way, and god help us all if my routine gets disrupted 🙃 I notice tiiiiiny things. My mum knows she can't do anything secretly where I'm involved, because I notice everything. I'll notice that one small object has moved about a millimetre to the left of where I left it. I'll focus on something that's miles and miles away in the distance out the window and be gazing at it for as long as I can. My long term memory is incredible, but my short term memory is terrible. I was a very creative kid and loved drawing, writing and reading. My reading was advanced, so sometimes the teacher would let me sit in her chair and read to everyone, all the other kids sat at my feet on the carpet 😅

~ To be continued 🦋

[moonsugar-and-spice]

Riding on the previous anons ask, no hate at all you can't rush perfection, but just wondering when you think the next update of Storms will be ready?

A very valid question, Anon. The short answer is: I don't know yet, but I can assure you I'm still chipping away at the fic (as a whole rather than solely the next chapter), just slowly at the moment and out of order now that we're in the last 1/4, give or take, of the story. The truth is, I used to be a fast writer. Or at least, I thought so. Faster, anyway. I could reliably churn out a nitpicked edited 10k word chapter every month, and being a busy adult that felt good. I felt like a machine, which might be nice and all, except that we are not machines. Lately, as many have noticed, I've slowed down for a multitude of reasons. One of which is simply balancing all the spinning plates I have in my head with Storms as the various plots and threads are coming together, and endings are particularly challenging for me as a writer. I want to give this thing the time it needs and deserves, and for better or worse, I can't put out something I'm not satisfied with (read: the constant battle with perfectionism). I do get frustrated with myself for taking "too long", especially when I look back at the times of fluid production, and lament over why I can’t maintain that pace right now (part of it might be lingering pandemic fatigue), or wonder if it’s a matter of *can't* at all, or if some part of my brain is trying to protect the rest of me, forcing me to slow down -- not so that I stop, but so I can keep going and not burn out.

I have several stories in my head, waiting to get out, and every day I sit down and focus on one scene of one chapter of this one story (anything else goes into a notes document for later). Occasionally, I take prompts on here, too, to keep things fun and fresh. But each day I force myself to stop before the words run out. Maybe it's a purposeful slowness. I want my houses, so to speak, to be built of bricks and not straw, so I lay them one by one. I want them to be solid, to hold up, but I also want to enjoy the building of them, to do so with love as well as care. I think somewhere along the way I almost lost that part -- not the care but the love. All I could see was the need to finish, because people were waiting. To survive the telling of this one story far above my skill level so I could make it to the next, and there are many days where that voice still nags in the back of my head, telling me to pick up the pace, that I'm capable of going faster, and maybe I am. But not without a sacrifice somewhere. I think one of the most important things I'm learning is how to keep fuel in the tank, rather than run myself down to fumes. I very nearly burned out and I don't want to risk the process swallowing all my joy of writing. I have plans to finish everything I've started, especially Storms, as it's very much been a labor of love. And I'm in a place now where I'm no longer dragging myself along, but taking careful steps. Yes, it's making for a slower walk, but a much nicer one. I know when to stop and rest, I'm enjoying the view. I am learning to write again -- not like someone being chased (at least, not by anything but my own worries), but like someone on an adventure.

[indecisive-v]

NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

[shinyrockalaska]

Hanukkah at Hogwarts

Hello, this is a fanfic I wrote about my MC, last year, when some of Hanukkah days fell on Christmas. I'm now posting it for everyone to enjoy.

Summary: the Hogwarts Mystery friends celebrate Hanukkah with my half-jewish MC.

Word count: 1.5k

~~~

I sat down in the Christmas theme decorated great hall, but with a sad face. Seems like the rest of my family already got their plans for the holidays. Well, not really, but my mum decided yet again to visit her relatives, alone. That led to my dad deciding to take my toddler brother with him and celebrate Christmas with his own family. When I think about it, ever since Jacob went missing my family didn't got to celebrate any holidays at all. Not together, at least. Even now that I've found him I still don't know where he is, and I'm starting to doubt my family will ever be normal again.

"Hey what's with the sad face?" Rowan asked, sitting down next to me.

"Guess who's staying in Hogwarts during the holidays.. again.." I said in a fake-happy voice.

She gave me a sad smile, "I wish you could come with me to the tree farm but my entire family will be there so there's no place left.." "lucky you," I murmured, and she immidietly apologized.

"It's okay," I said, "technically I can spend Christmas with my dad, my little brother and my dad's family, but.. that's the problem."

"Your dad's family is a problem? Seriously I'm sure any of your friends would be happy to have you over you know.."

"No, no, it's not that.. just.. I'm tired of celebrating Christmas."

She looked surprised. "that is a sentence I never thought I would hear anyone say.."

"I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter what the holiday is if you spend it with the people you love, but.." I sighed, "you know I'm technically Jewish, right? I miss celebrating Hanukkah. I haven't got to do it ever since Jacob's gone missing and my mum slowly drifted away, you know.."

"Oh, yeah.." she said awkwardly, "well.. what do you usually do on Hanukkah?"

"We do a lot of things, like lightning the menorah. There's a place for 9 candles in it and each day we light one more candle than the day before. Starting with two candles- one, because it's the first day and the second is a candle that lit up the other candles. It's called shamash."

"That's sounds really interesting! How many candles do you lit? For how long? Why?" Rowan asked, curiously.

"I've never counted how many.. but we do it for eight days.. starting with two and each day we add another candle so-"

"44 in total. Continue please."

It was always impressive how quick and smart Rowan was.

"We do it because.. years ago.. oh no I barely remember! Something with a rebellion against greeks, the second holy temple, and a cruse of oil that was suppose to light the menorah for only one day but it lasted eight days so it was a miracle.. see, this is exactly the problem of not celebrating this holiday for so long!" I said frustrated, but Rowan continued to ask questions despite my despair.

"So it's a holiday about miracles. That's really nice! What else do you do?"

"W-well.. because of that cruse of oil we eat lots of food with oil. Not very healthy I must say, but tradition is tradition. We have latkes, which is kind of like a potato or cheese pancakes, and sufganyot, it's like jam filled doughnuts, but it can be filled with anything, really."

"So for eight days you light up candles and eat oil." she sounded a little judgemental but the way she described the holiday was funny.

"We don't have to eat things with oil, you know.. just a tradition." I laughed, "But we also get to play with a dreidel, it's a four sides spinning toy, that we play and bet on chocolate coins and we get money from relatives sometimes, and it's just.. a warm, cosy holiday?" I smiled, "I don't know how to explain it, I feel warm and peaceful inside, just remembering how fun was this holiday.."

"It does sound nice.. when is it exactly?"

"It already started but-"

"So let's celebrate! We've still got tonight, we can ask the house elves for the right food and we can light the menorah and play that game with that thing you said and-"

"Wait but I don't have any of those things how am I supposed to get them now?"

Rowan smiled at me, slyly, "You say it like you never invented a charm.. we'll use transfiguration of course.. come on!"

###

"I'm really glad that all of you get to go home for the holidays," I said.

I was sitting in the great hall now, with all my friends around me. It was all empty since everyone else were busy packing.

"I wish I could stay.." Barnaby sighed, "I'll be okay but my family isn't very nice, you know.."

"Yeah, me too" Ben murmured.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Your family's great. You're the one who's not being nice right now."

"It's not my fault they don't understand anything about magic and don't know what I've been through.." he shrugged.

"Yeah, ever since last year Beatrice acting.. you know.. and I don't really want to be stuck with her in the same room for the entire holiday.. " Penny agreed with him.

"C'mon guys, cheer up!" Charlie said before anyone else could complain about going home.

"Wait what are we doing?" Liz asked, as if she suddenly realized she was sitting with her friends. "I lost focus.." she admitted.

So I explained everything I explained to Rowan before, about the holiday, and how we plan to celebrate it.

We decided to meet up in the empty charms classroom, since Rowan already got premission from professor Flitwick to use it. Badeea, as the artist, volunteered to make a menorah, after I explained to her how it should look like. Meanwhile, I tried to make a dreidel. I couldn't just transfigurate one from nothing, so I decided to use a sneakoscope that I got from Jae once, and designed it as much as I could to look like a dreidel, with the right letters.

By sunset, when everyone met in the empty classroom, they were all excited to celebrate the holiday with me.

Badeea's handmade menorah looked beautiful, it was colourful and made out of clay. She even brought candles that Talbott conjured for her ("I picked candles in warm colours, for your warm holiday," she laughed.)

I set up the candles on their right place in the menorah, as everyone sat down in a circle around it. Then, I lit up the candles and said the blessings while everyone cheered.

"So what's next?" Andre asked as Rowan took a plate from behind her back, and showed us what's on it. "What's this?" Talbott asked and I smiled, "it's called sufganyot. Basically like a doughnut but with no hole and it's filled with jam." "Sweet! Give me some!" Tonks cheered while grabbing a few off the plate.

"Tulip, you've got those Candie I asked you for?" Rowan said with a smile on her face. "You know I always have Candies with me," she answered while showing us her bug full of candies. "I couldn't get those chocolates you told me about but candies are always good!" She explained.

"that's so cool! I'm surprised you managed to get the right food from the kitchen and bring so many candies!" I said.

I showed them the sneakoscope, "that's not how a traditional dreidel looks like, of course," I explained, "but we can still play with it. We need to divide the candies equally between all of us, then each round everyone will put one candy on the center of the circle and then everyone in their turn will get to spin the sneakoscope. See those letters I wrote on it? If it lands on this letter you get all the Candies in the middle and everyone have to put another candy, and so on."

"Sound's fun!" Chiara was the first to put a candy in the middle. "Prepare to be defeated!" Diego said, excitedly.

We started the game, and we played until bedtime, not noticing how time passes as we enjoy ourselves.

Barnaby was the first to lose, since he ate all his candies, rather than putting them in for the game. To no one surprise, Jae won, but he shared the candies with everyone, anyway.

"That was really fun! Thank you for sharing this holiday with us!" Penny said with joy. Everyone nodded with agreement.

It made me so happy, seeing all my friends celebrating my holiday, and enjoying it as much as I do. "you need to thank Rowan," I said, "She's the one who organized all of these.. I really appreciate it. That was seriously the best Hanukkah ever."

~~~

Happy Hanukkah!

To anyone who celebrate and seek representation as much as I do😂

[coinofstone]

2x11 The Witch's Quickening

Hey Arthur, remember last time you were on a manhunt in Camelot and it led you to Morgana's chambers, and she talked you out of searching them and later admitted that she'd been hiding a fugitive in there? Have you learned NOTHING

And Merlin too, he doesn't like, double back and confront Morgana or suggest Arthur do that?

Why is Arthur yelling at Merlin so much in this? Who wrote this episode.

::Coin watch the show instead of playing on her phone challenge::

Morgana being manipulated by a nine year old

Why is Arthur insulting the food as if Merlin cooked it himself? Every other meal he brings up is from the palace kitchens but on this occasion Merlin cooked himself? Ok.

Even the fkin dragon is OOC in this ep

Morgana is so much more intelligent than this.

Gaius needs to bring this to Uther in the throne room like a member of the public? He couldn't get a private audience with the king? Ok.

I really don't remember this episode being so terrible, maybe I'm in a bad mood.

You know, not for nothing, but from Mordred's perspective Merlin is being an absolute dick, not only siding with the oppressor but actively working to sabotage their plans and hurt their people. As we, the audience, are privy to the reasons behind this, WE don't necessarily questions Merlin's actions, WE know he's after the crystal because he's trying to prevent Mordred and Morgana from teaming up and bringing harm to Arthur - that's all good and well but like... Merlin could never bring himself to kill Mordred because he's just a boy, but yet he's allowed the boy to go off and become somewhat radicalized (I say 'somewhat' because honestly, it's not all that radical to plot to overthrow the king that has been waging a genocidal war against your people for twenty fucking years) without ever trying to bring him into the fold. If Merlin had explained his and Arthur's destinies to the boy, made an argument for waiting out Uther's reign in the hope that Arthur's reign will bring peace and magic back to Camelot, but which may not happen if he sees his father killed by sorcerers, and explained his reasons for hiding who he is from Morgana, regardless of Mordred's ultimate destiny to be Arthur's doom, Merlin would've at least had a shot at cultivating an alliance or at very least an understanding between them. Instead, all Mordred sees is this supremely powerful sorcerer who isn't even a druid, serving the very people that would bring an end to their entire race if they could. Although, it seems as tho Mordred has forgotten who exactly snuck him out of the castle and back to the druid camp in three first place. Makes you wonder if Morgana never explained to him that she was believed to have been kidnapped when they found her with the druids last time, and that she went along with that lie for her own safety.

Tl;dr: communication is important kids!

Do I even need to point out how much sense Morgana's little tiff with Uther did not make? Or her sudden distrust of Gwen? If anything she should think Gwen would be an ally considering a) her father was killed by Uther, as an innocent victim of Uther's war on magic, b) Gwen was party to Morgana's previous involvement in aiding and abetting a druid fugitive, c) Gwen L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y sacrificed herself to save Morgana from Hengist's men, the is zero reason to question Guinevere's loyalty to Morgana, and d) Gwen has never said a WORD against sorcery or hinted at any kind of prejudice against druids or anyone with magic.

I looked up the writing credit for this, it's Jake Michie who is also credited with some fantastic episodes like Lancelot, Beauty and the beast, and the Lamia to name a few. It was directed by Alice Troughton who has also done some good eps, including other eps written by Jake Michie, so like I really don't understand what went wrong here.

Oh God there's a commentary track on this episode. I don't wannnnnaaaaaa but maybe I'll learn something, like why it turned out the way it did.

Commentary by Julian Murphy, Alice Troughton, and Katie. I do not have high hopes.

Katie right off the bat explaining shit that's important to note, God I love her on these tracks. Apparently, this was one of the last things to be shot (Merlin films everything out of order and films several episodes concurrently, depending on filming location.) and it was being shot while three other episodes were being wrapped up - so they had FOUR episodes filming concurrently and a lot of THIS episode was directed by Julian Murphy, and Jeremy shot some of it as well. This COULD explain a lot of the inconsistency, but I question how much since Julian seems to be involved in filming lots of scenes in lots of episodes. But I guess it's possible that just that on top of the rush to finish and the pressure of so many spinning plates in the air right at the end. They've just said that for this episode they had the least amount of days to shoot it out of all the episodes they've done, which is partly why they had so much going at once. It's as good a reason as any to explain it being so off, but I don't really see that explaining the wildly off characterization.

Katie going on the whole thing about Alvarr-as-revolutionary and Alice picks up on Morgana's sort of desire to be in that position and they're having a quite meaningful discussion then Julian:I think she just thinks he's hot 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Katie says the script changed a lot even as it was filming, and that things were being changed as it was filmed so I'm kind of thinking for whatever reason this entire thing was a mess and that's why it came across looking so disjointed to me.

At least Julian realize the soup scene was terrible.

Idk why they're ganging up on Katie over the chemistry between her and Alvarr. She says she wasn't playing it that way and that she wasn't feeling it and they're just like "yea uh huh sure."

They're talking about having two units filming like a few feet away from each other in the forest, while there is another two units going in France.

Julian says they had added Alvarr's girlfriend in because they wanted to dramatize his charisma and calculation... but it's not manipulation - ?????????? Someone get the man a dictionary. 'We added a random blonde in four him to kiss so that the audience knows he's got a girl already, who sees him working his charm on Morgana and comments on it 'you played her well', but Alvarr isn't actually manipulative' ??????????

They've just pointed out two entire significant beats within a sequence that was constructed on set and off script. Arthur's confrontation with Alvarr in the forest and Merlin's slow motion tracking the crystal to show its got a powerful draw. The more they describe the specifics of filming the more it sounds like an utter disaster which kind of makes me feel bad for being so harsh on the episode.

I keep having to rewind to focus on what they're saying and I feel like I've been watching this episode for about 4 hours.

Awkward bit of prop-exposure there. Trying to work out what LK could even stand for.

Idk everyone's really happy with this scene between Morgana and Uther and I'm still sitting here thinking the dialogue was utterly ridiculous.

They talked about changing that final scene, where Uther clearly knows/suspects it was Morgana who helped Alvarr escape, so that it doesn't prematurely push the story too far ahead. They cut a look Morgana gives Merlin which, rightfully so, because it would've been too much too soon. The ending to this episode still feels wholly unsatisfying to me. I understand the little tag with the dragon yelling for Merlin to release him, I don't mean that, but the ending to the main story where Alvarr just escapes and Uther not only accepts that but also accepts that Morgana must've helped him. Overall Uther's been entirely sort of neutered throughout this episode, which I understand that partially has to do with it being Morgana, but like, in previous episodes when she's been so defiant against him, he's had her by the throat and locked her in a dungeon overnight. So I just doubt understand him being so subdued here, especially since he directly threatened her when he found pr Mordred escaped, and now another druid's escaped and he essentially knows she was involved given how she spoke to him, yet he doesn't do anything? Just wildly inconsistent behavior.

Anyway apologies for overanalyzing this episode, I realize I tore it apart pretty thoroughly during the commentary and the post became quite long. I wish there was a way to add a cut on mobile but there isn't. I'll have the S2 finale post up in a few hours - I might hold off on posting until I've watched the extras, I didn't do that for S1 but then I felt the extras didn't quite warrant a whole post on their own, so I might just tack on any thoughts I have to the 2x12 post. We'll see.

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Tonight’s the Night!(part8)

TheDirt! TommyXReader

Summary: You have been on tour for almost a year, event after event, mile after mile. Your uncle was Doc the manager of Mötley Crüe, one of you favorite bands. He pulled a few strings and got you on this tour for a late birthday present and for making up the lost time from when you didn’t see him much as a child. As he was one of the only ‘father’ figures you had. Recently found yourself thinking more and more of Tommy. Could you possibly be falling in love with the hopeless romantic? If you were could he possibly feel the same? 

A/N: sorry about the last part.

~ “Come here.”~

word: 1357

You woke up your head pounding, the world spinning all you felt was one your urgent need to throw up and two the body of someone else right next to you. You quickly followed your instinct of getting up and running to the bathroom as soon a possible. You were hungover, great. As soon as you finished throwing up you weakly pulled yourself up and looked for something to get rid of the pounding scrambling through the cabinet you found motrin, popping a few in your mouth you walked back in to the room you were previously is finding a cup of something you downed it. Finally you looked at your appearance, you had make up smeared on your face, your hair was a complete mess and you also had no clothes on, you looked at the body next to you and smiled slightly. He wasn’t the exact in you wanted to wake up next to but he was close. Nikki fucking Sixx was sprawled out across the bed now. Never in your right mind would you have thought that you would wake up with any of them. You lived in a constant fantasy, of crazy rumors and late night booty calls, the press ate you up and so did the groupies and fans that wanted them. Maybe it made you a little famous, but all in all you started out just a fangirl and that made you happy always seeing them day after day even when you were pissed off at something they said/did. They understood that about you and everyonce in a while they let you geek out. But you also knew that they were too, regular people at the end of the day.

You found his shirt that was made into a muscle top and carefully climbed on top of him, you could tell Nikki was half awake because he was no longer snoring, a smirk fell apon his lips as he felt your skin on his. Nikki secretly has a crush on the presence your brought around him. You were tough as nails, but also sweet as sugar.

His hand skimmed up your thighs and landed on your butt, it wasn’t sexual it was just where it felt right. Nikki slowly opened his eyes blinking a few times in the process. “Sign me up if this is the right way to wake up.” His smile was small and yet so full.

“I heard there’s no waiting list.” You smiled and bent over pulling your hair back and kissed Nikki’s forehead, nose, then finally his lips. He kissed back. Pulling away smiling you grabbed his hand and held them kissing every finger “Can we make this real?” You looked at him

“Thought you liked Tommy?”

“I do and I did, but he’s with Heather and it’s obvious he doesn’t feel—“

“I didn’t really care, but if you want it then i’m sure we can make it work.” He squeezed your hands “What about doc?” Nikki eyes said that he wanted you and only you, and in a way you needed to get over Tommy.

“I don’t care about him.”

“okay that’s all i need.” He wrapped his arms around your back and pulled you down to kiss you which you accepted gratefully. You pulled away, and got up off of him.

“i’m gonna go take a shower sixx.” You walked away and jumped in the shower washing yourself and your hair from the hair spray and makeup from last night. It hit you that today was your 21st birthday. You hopped out of the shower and walked back out to grab your dress. Nikki was gone which was odd because you figured he’d get in with you. You shimmed the fabric back on. You were honestly ready to start drinking again. you made your way through vince’s largely sized house. Finally finding your way to the kitchen as you made breakfast for yourself.

“I want breakfast.” What do you know, Tommy fucking Lee walked out from the corner, rubbing his eyes.

“Make it your own damn self.” You rolled your eyes and made a plate for myself then setting yours down on the table in the dinning room before sitting down at the table

You heard the door slam shut and Nikki walked past the dinning room “Babe!” you yelled to him. Next thing you knew he was in the dinning room making his way towards you and kissed you on the lips.

Tommy was at the door way, he looked pissed.

“Your good in bed and in the kitchen. Hot.” Nikki winked and smirked as you got up and grabbed the plates for you Nikki slapped your ass causing you to moan slightly, putting them in the sink for you to do them later. You looked at Tommy who wouldn’t look at you and just stared into his lonely bowl of cereal. Hear came rebounding; Heather in nothing but Tommy’s shirt that he changed into last night, you felt you face become hot. Nikki strolled over to you and whispered into your ear ‘Your fucking hotter don’t even bother getting jealous’ before he kissed your neck.

“Come one Y/N I have to run some errands. Come with?”

“If only I get to change my clothes.”

“You’re bags already in my car.”

“You’re the best.” You stood on your tippy toes and pecked his lips before grabbing his hand and leading him out of the house walking to his Ford Mustang. You got his and the same with Nik as he started the car. You rummaged through your suitcase finding something to wear. Finding some leather pants, a leopard corset-type cropped top, your leather jacket, and your boots. you took off your dress. you didn’t care much about how people seen you as you were in Vince’s long as fuck driveway. You shimmy your way into your leather pants as those would be the hardest to put on, next your shoes. -Nikki could not keep his eyes on the road as you were changing, so swerving was an understatement.- you put on your shirt then your leather jacket. then you looked at nikki who was shifting in his seat.

“uncomfortable there?” you smirked and leaned over the center council slightly.

“Slightly. Pffft blow me.” He quickly looked at you in a almost pleading way.

“With pleasure babe.” You leaned over the council, unzipping his pants, slipping him out of his underwear -which you were surprised as he normally wore leather pants and the two don't mix apparently-  NIkki reclined the seat a little bit to make it easier for you as you brought your head down to his dick, you licked the slit causing a sharp inhale in his breathing, Nikki could control a situation like this very well, multitasking was one of the many things he was good at as a musician. Kissing the tip you put it the tip into your mouth swirling your tongue, earning a few groans, you were already over the teasing and you sunk your head further down, the part you couldn't fit in your mouth went to your hand, foundling his balls in the process. Now moans escaped his beautiful lips, along with your name. You began bobbing your head as you felt Nikki pull over to which you assumed was on the side of the road so he could focus on you only. Your core was dripping, you could feel it. You and pretty much the rest of the boys were the same with that. You guys probably had the same body count. Horny motherfuckers you were.

“Fuck babe fuck.” Nikki’s head dropped and you felt him twitch into your mouth then realeased his load. Most in your mouth, some fell out. You swallowed then licked the rest that fell on his stomach.

Sitting up all the way in your seat you looked Nikki dead in the eyes and wiped his load that went on your cheek onto your thumb and licked it off. Everyone knew Nikki had a oral fixation, it drove him crazy.

“My girlfriend is fucking hot.” Nikki was now leaning over the council and kissed you. Hard.