#i do think he’s lazy but why target me im not the only one who said that 😑

[filmcel]

i need more excuses to go to house parties w my friends and dance around like a fool. last time i got to do that was new years and haven’t done anything cool since. yeah we hangout but i want a party where we r rotting at someone’s house and taking their spiked lemonades… 😖

[kani-miso]

hngngngnggngn guyss what if the dude in the ending of the t2 summary, will influence es even further into their warden role (and maybe something really bad will happen)

we all know that the dude used "watashi" instead of jackalopes "ore-sama", this is really important. since we know in the novels, jackalope's aren't technically "jackalopes", they are technically "human", sort of. maybe, the dude who used watashi could be jackalope off of work, or the dude in the novel (the boss). the identity of that man isn't really important in this discussion, but i just want to find out ig.

what's important is, do you remember about the aviot collab? es' last test line is the main topic. (im to lazy to take the image). the line, "i(boku wa)... i(watashi.. wa..)...." iirc. the 1st "i", uses boku, their usual 1st person pronoun. boku is usually used by young boys, but in this case they're using it since boku is used by workers (boku is also gender neutral). the 2nd "i" uses watashi, they have NEVER used this 1st person. what if, the reason why they used watashi, is because of that dude in the ending of t2 summary using watashi. only we can hear that dude since he appeared when es is put to sleep, if they are taking reference off of that dude, how did they hear it? the viewers mind and es' mind is sorta connected (the reason why es can hear our thoughts).

before es is put to sleep, jackalope is awfully manipulative i will rip my guts out. "and anyway, whatever happens to them, none of it can be taken back. its not for the guard to worry about. that's right, you are the guard. don't doubt it. that is your job. as long as you dont forget that, it's fine. now that you understand, go to sleep, es."

its not for the guard to worry about : jackalope knows that es has their full trust on him, he's using that as a chance to take advantage of their own feelings, making them slowly lose empathy for the prisoners. also, maybe jackalope said this because he knows es feels guilty for what happened to the guiltied (…I'm sorry. I'm responsible for the fact that you've ended up like this.) ig he is supposed to be the representation of the all seeing eye in the panopticon.

that's right, you are the guard. don't doubt it : in some occasions, es doubted their role of being the warden (ex: "Guard-san"... Is that really... me?). since they're doubting their role, i think jackalope is trying to push the warden role onto them so they wont ever give up and become a vulnurable target of "manipulation" for the prisoners.

as long as you dont forget that, it's fine : yeah ig its self explanatory.

also, the last line, "oh yes, just as i predicted, you have all turned out to be...." its so smart. in the original milgram experiment, there are three results: 1. those who followed the rules but blamed themselves for what they did 2. those who followed the rules and felt great for what they did (because they thought they actually hurt the person) 3. those who rebelled and halted the experiment. in the back of the undercover cd, there's 3 es'

and i think they can be connected to each of the results. the one on the top could be the 1st result, the one on the middle could be the 2nd result, and the third one could be the 3rd result.

i love how they just cut it off before he says what we all turned out since there's three results that could happen. because we technically have the idea of what es could end up after t3, i wonder how much farther would they go to be the ideal warden (especially with how jackalope is persuading es to not worry about what happens to the prisoners).

(+edit: a jp person translated the ending part where it glitches, its "you have all turned out to be psychopaths who enjoy other people's misery", which is technically the result of the real milgram experiment, even stanley milgram himself was horrified of the results, "a very high proportion of subjects would fully obey the instructions, with every participant going up to 300 volts, and 65% going up to the full 450 volts.".

i might be reaching too far so take this with a grain of salt

tldr; the dude at the end of t2 summary will worsen es

[pebiejeebies]

Uhh weird chat abt why I think nickel’s apology was sketchy

NICKEL.. wasn’t the one who said sorry.

AND BEFORE YOU SCREAM AT MY FACE ANYTHING LET ME SPEAK!! I HAVE A REASON!

let’s talk about clover.

remember an/some episode(s) ago when nickel went on a therapy session with clover? Right?

she told him to rethink his whole life right??

NICKEL DIDNT RETHINK HIS LIFE. CLOVER DID.

It was all clover. Think about it

she’s lucky. She gets whatever she wants because of it too.

if she WANTS nickel to be friends with balloon, she will WISH that he becomes friends with him.

WHICH MEANS. there’s a high chance this whole apology was all just clover’s luck

we’ve seen how that stupid box was forced to do something it mentally/physically couldn’t. And it ended up doing what clover wanted (or at least keep her safe)

think about it. One episode, therapy with clover, next episode? Magically becomes the most nicest man ever and supports balloon while giving him his own space.

His apology felt so off, at first I was like YOOOO NICKLOON!! But in reality it was all clover, it’s just so off to me man.. maybe I just hate nickel or smth

But really think about it, there’s no way ANY person or object would do a full mental switch up THIS EASILY?! I took YEARS to stop abusing my sisters mentally and physically. There’s no way a fucking month will change him this quick. TRUST. ME.

I was as horrible as nickel and even worse too, it took years of struggle and patience to obtain what I have today! But nickel? NICKEL? NICKEL?!?! makes the luck do it all for him.

and that made me so fucking angry. you made me question myself and why I took so long to change, you are making other people think change is THAT EASY. you PEICE OF SHIT. (Not you dw, I mean AE)

Literally to the point I feel like nickel was like some sort of puppet or smth

Clover: do this

Nickel: alright

AND EVEN WHEN HE DOES IT ISNT EVEN HIS FUCKING CHOICE. IT ISNT. ITS HER LUCK. NOT NICKEL. now nickel feels like he fucking achieved something, when it was all clover.

LIKE COME ON. you made the fandom happy over something that could potentially be a lie?? There’s no way he magically becomes all cute and sweet and STAYS like that after her luck goes away. There’s just no way.

and ofc it had to be clover, it was all just to say “Oh he changed so quick because of—“ EXACTLY. they are cowards. they don’t wanna make the character slowly struggle and try to get better

they wanna get to the point and that’s it

so everyone goes WOAHHHH NICKLOON!! YAYY!! (no hate to the nickloon shippers btw) without taking so long, because they don’t know how to write any characters without some big flaw

So let’s just make clover “help” him!! Cause she’s lucky!! Yay!! And he can just change in a day or two!1 YAYY!!!/s

HERES ANOTHER POINT TOO. SHE CAME OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE IN THAT EPISODE. “oh I just wanted to be a detective” yeah sure ae. Sureee… sure thing mf. Just solve one fucking word puzzle game and call yourself a detective. Idiots. (Again, pointed towards ae)

take a moment and think about this. Because maybe I’m just wrong, I’m usually wrong anyways. I just need to know I can’t be the only one who thinks that clover was the one who apologized, not nickel.

But for once I feel like I’m right about this, and if I am.. AE im fucking onto you. You fucking cowards.

(and before you ask, no. I’m not okay. I hate how they made me question myself. And I hate how they’re saying it’s so easy to change, and I hate how they’re so lazy about someone’s personality shift)

I don’t hate the animators. I don’t hate the storyboarders, I don’t hate the voice actors, I don’t hate ANYONE in ae. EXCEPT these fucking writers. There are so many better writers out there with ACTUAL ideas and ACTUAL talent, and experience and so much more about life and personality.

even I can write better characters without even planning it out. Imagine. Skill issue fr.

Please note that this isn’t targeted to you either, your opinion on this is valid, so is mine. Let’s keep this chat friendly though.

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

i disagree on the "it was a good kill and Gem is bothered by it/pretends she's not" bc it really wasn't,,, and Gem can be right in calling it pathetic and also not expecting it/knowing how to escape and also be not that bothered by it bc she does try to like, let (red life) people kill her the entire session, she's 'not a sweat' as she calls it

Mumbo literally lost a life bc he was going after Gem in the car (he pours lava where she was specifically), then tried to lava her twice, Grain had to tell him to keep going after her with a sword (also Skizz tries to lava her before that too lmao) and she still escaped it to the point Mumbo logs out bc hes embarrassed (in a light hearted way ofc) just to log back in, join in on Martyn helping them (Gem does just accept him digging a hole under her, doesn't move at all, she only tries to escape the lava) just for Ren to steal the kill like the little yellow life shit he is and then Mumbo tries to lava her again lmao. it is pathetic, let's not kid ourselves here, Looney Tunes type crap, especially with the speed. It's a good kill on Ren side ig??? idk

like. idk, people try too hard to make it seem like she's bothered or not, maybe the answer is simply that she accepts dying, but she also wanted the killer to actually try to get her (like Grian does, he clearly hates the cheap kills,,, unless it comes from his teammates lmao)

feel like ppl try too hard to make her look like Scott (and I don't think even Scott is that bothered, he just switches to survival mode for once lol), when both her and Joel are fine with ppl trying to murder them and succeeding, they show it multiple times this session

i don't think this makes her "untouchable" or boring either, bc I don't think any life series member takes death as seriously as fanon makes it seem sometimes (might be the dsmp brain wiring lmao, but to me it does matter how a person reacts to their death and what they do afterwards, and she goes back there and just. Tries to congratulate Mumbo until she realizes Ren did it. She doesn't hide, doesn't get annoyed or anything, so I don't see why would I take it as her lying to herself or the viewers. Taking her at face value is smarter here, bc she doesn't hide her feelings, she's open about being annoyed at Pearl/Imp, she's open about disliking ppl and how she feels about stuff). they know they're in a death game, know what to expect so it's whatever as long as theyre still green and have lives to waste

i know it's all in good fun and role-play, but I just wanted to give my opinion from somebody who's not that into this side of the fandom (this is also messy as fuck and i probably repeated myself a bunch but im too lazy to fix this, whateeverr)

i’d like to preface this with a disclaimer: gem is one of my favourites. i would never speak so derogatorily about a character if i did not obsessively watch all their povs and consume so much fanfic about them that i’m sick. put simply, c!gem is morally grey, and i’m entirely comfortable with it. moving on

i feel like we need to face the fact that every lifer is an unreliable narrator. yes, some to a greater extent than others, like how dl!pearl or sl!lizzie are clearly unreliable. but all of them, bar none, say and go through things that affect their worldview. an unfortunate phenomenon known popularly as “the human experience”. especially in the life series, when the ccs are deliberately roleplaying, it would be naive to take any of them at face value, especially when evidence says otherwise.

so yes, gem is definitely bothered. she talks about how she’s a target, even puts a target on her skin, and keeps on talking about how incompetent everyone is (even when they’re not trying to kill her). i don’t think this is unreasonable of her at all, i’m just pointing out an incongruence in her words and her behaviour. again, there’s nothing wrong with being bothered, but what’s really interesting is that she constantly says things like “oh, finally!” or “that was so bad” or just laughs. to me, i interpret it as her purposely trying to keep up the image that she isn’t bothered, that she is confident or that wow, look, the other players are so bad she’s getting frustrated that she can’t die. a “regular” lifer would probably just exclaim oh no if there was a failed attempt on their lives, but gem is much more deliberate with her words. i’m not calling her calculating, but maybe i am.

(i have noted before that gem is impressively good at faking real emotion, so that definitely plays a factor in my interpretation. it’s very easy to dismiss it as genuine exasperation, but based off her other words you can slightly discern that it’s a facade. obviously gem is gunning for a win this season, and if she’s gunning for a win, why would she try or want to die?)

as for the kill. directly before this, yes, it was a cartoon chase scene, but gem was in full survival mode and was darting around, constantly eating. it would be foolish to pretend that she wasn’t trying to stay alive.

you argue that she allowed martyn to dig the hole under her. i went back to check, and due to the sped up game, it took martyn a little over 2 seconds to dig the 2x2x3 hole. 2 things can be true: gem is good at the game, and the hole caught gem off guard. furthermore, gem was looking at grian and not at martyn when the hole was dug. so she’s in the hole, and she has less than one second to react before the lava is placed. gem pulls out her water bucket very quickly, and places it down the same second. too late. she’s caught by the lava, she yells, she takes out her shovel to dig, she digs one block and then dies. so how long does the kill take?

eight seconds. from the first block being broken to gem dying to the lava, it takes eight seconds. that is the opposite of pathetic. that is a well-executed kill and even with gem’s condescending “good job!” it doesn’t take away from the fact that it was well done. note that gem reacted very quickly, so it wasn’t gem “allowing” herself to be killed. she tried pretty hard to not die, but the lava was just faster. in no way did she accept dying when even in her own video it’s clear that she fought to the end.

gem is definitely not fine with people murdering her. the other attempts, yes they were bad, but gem also tries to dodge them. i feel like she legitimately forgot about tango’s trap and stood on it by accident, but changed her story when tango failed anyway, because she doesn’t even say anything to tango (like a cheeky “tango i’m standing here”) prior to the actual attempt. i wouldn’t go so far as to call her a sweat, but to go to the other extreme that she allowed people to kill her is also straight up inaccurate, even if gem acts like she did.

so, we’ve established that it’s a good kill. how does gem react? she tells the audience “oh it’s pathetic”, goes up to mumbo and tells him “mumbo i’m so proud of you”. that is textbook condescending. she’s trying to act amused, as if mumbo’s a toddler that’s just done a cool trick. (never mind that it was ren, it’s the intention behind her words) if she got outwardly annoyed, that would make it obvious that she was actually threatened by the kill, or that she was actually bothered. this faux nonchalance is what i’m trying to point out here. i don’t think she’s inwardly annoyed either. i just think she’s lying to herself.

as for that last bit, i don’t think i ever said this made gem boring. to me this makes her incredibly interesting and an incredibly complex character to dissect. i’m saying those who just believe whatever she says and believe that whatever she says is what she actually believes are making out her character to be more boring than it is.

[survivalist-anon]

Log 26: "Great, now there's two of them"

The scenic route had calmed the tension between Fjord and Ronnie. The two were discussing on Fjord's misadventures with me in town. I was just simply listening quietly, just giving myself time to think a little.

Walking down the thicket, the smell of wet pine needles had resurrected a recent memory of mine...the first time I saw an Astartes....that....horned one. It's been surreal to see how diverse these guys are so far....but it makes me wonder what else I don't know about their lives...maybe something I shouldn't know.

"-and then, she opens the air lock, and BAM the alien gets sent into space! Man, you really ought to watch it like man. It's a classic.", Ronnie had just finished explaining the whole plot to Aliens, Fjord was listening intently.

"Ay, sounds like a brave guardsman, this... Sigourney. Hmmm...", I've always found it interesting that somethings tap into the minds of others as either fiction or real.

This whole experience has been so unreal, ever since that day....why did it comeback to the very same spot? Considering what has been going on, did grampa have anything to do with that horned Astartes?....or was it just a freak encounter....

Fjord raised his head up, sniffing the air a bit, "ah we're here. Almost in the same spot too.", as the three of us emerged from the tree lining, we were more than 'in the same spot ', we somehow ended up right on the same patch of concrete wall where Fjord was hit with those huge guns.

"I see they have yet to patch up the wall...Ha, laziness I suppose....or everyone is dead.", Fjord casually stated.

"Dead?!", Ronnie exclaimed, "W-what do you mean dead?".

Fjord tilted his head to him, "Well for starters lad, Imperial Fists never leave a job undone. Secondly, for the job of an Imperial Fist to go ud-"

Suddenly, a familiar shout echoed from the other side of the wall.

"PASSWORD!"

Fjord knew exactly who that was, and he was going to take his chance, he gave the both of us a mischievous grin. "YOUR MOTHER!", he heartily shouted.

Ronnie just stood there in amazement. "bruh... really?"

I for one was expecting another shoot out, "if anyone takes out a gun, cover your ears."

"wait they're pack heat??", Ronnie snapped his head towards me.

We could hear the scuffled stomping of metal boots, momentary labored huffing and the unfortunate clicking of someone loading a firearm. I look up and see the world's grumpiest looking mask I have ever seen, it practically had a permanent frown. "WRONG PASSWORD YOU SON OF A- ohh it's y-WAIT WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO OF THEM NOW!?!".

"Oh hey, nice to see you again, please don't shoot us again.", I give a friendly wave hoping he recognizes us from last time.

I could see he was looking at all three us, flabbergasted a bit. ".... DOES ALDERCON KNOW YOU'RE HERE!", he shouted back.

I look to Ronnie to see his reaction, he seems to be getting exited about the situation, a bit scared but he's perked up.

"damn, th-thats a huge gun...", he looks to Fjord's utility belt and sees his piece. "Oooooh...what caliber is that?", he sheepishly asks.

Fjord looks to Ronnie, "ugh .75 I believe, some use bigger shots for bigger targets-", he shoots his head to the fist, "-Ugh no he doesn't know! Surprise visit really!", I could tell the unexpected visit was going to cost us.

The guard was pacing back and forth, grumbling to himself, "ALRIGHT! BUT IM ONLY LETTING YOU IN BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR HANDLER HAVE A HOSTAGE!", he then disappears back from the top of the wall, thudding down the stairs.

Ronnie looked at the both of us, "What the? Hostage??? You guys tricked me or something?!"

"No no, let him think that, just don't make any sudden movements, comments or anything. These guys are like the jughead's back at Tallimook? Yeah, think that but way more serious.", all us then turn our heads to a near seamless door appear at the base of the wall.

"Come on. You will be escorted to Aldercon himself.", he turns to somebody out of our line of sight, "Search the new comer.", is the three of us reluctantly walk through the door way, two other Marines, one blue and another yellow one are standing guard with him.

"Well well well, I had heard that there was a handler chosen after all this time, which one is it? The female or the male?", the blue one coldly asked. "Hmf, the female most likely.... considering the Astartes." The yellow sneered, Fjord had mentioned to me that his group of Marines had always been seen in a bad light...it makes me wonder what is the reality of Space wolves in that case.

Fjord understandably gave a low growl, "you'll show respect for my 'handler'.....", I could practically see his hair stand on end.

Ronnie stuck to me like glue, "dang, this is some intense shit. Also why does one of them looks like Big Blue?".

The one with blue snapped his head towards us, "That showboating fool?! An absolute disgrace to the Ultramarines! Instead of seeking the rest of his chapter, he's gallivanting around....the Codex does NOT allow for such a grievous waste of time.", he groned.

"Hey man c'mon, he's saving lives and stoping some serious crimes in Philly. Shits serious down there. At least he's helping.", I guess Ronnie was a fan of Big Blue than.

I turn to Ronnie and whisper, "please this isn't a time to be brave, these guys are the real deal. Like straight from...where ever they're from.", unlike Fjord, I couldn't read these guys for the life of me. Whether it be their helmets or cadence in their tone....these guys were scary.

"How would you appreciate your soldiers in your homewold's army doing the same thing? Would that not be subordination?", doubling down on his opinion.

"Oh come off it! Besides, we need good rapport with the Earth mortals, I'm certain your primarch wouldn't be too upset about it. After all, he is probably enjoying his new found purpose.", the guard retorts. "Now move it.", returning to his gruff demeanor.

Motioning to the both of us, Fjord turns to us and nods, "do not worry, I'm never out numbered.", shining a mischievous grin.

I genuinely felt safer knowing that at least. I turn to Ronnie to see he was looking around cautiously. "Lorey, did ...did you go through here?"

I shake my head, "no, we went over the wall actually. That's what that big hole was."

"Speaking of which lass, you fists forgot that hole in the wall or something? Or were you all finding a nice frame for it?", he chuckled.

The two fists look at each other with shock, I guess from their perspective there was any hole.

As we walk to the other side, we can see that there was a little more activity than last time. More Marines were walking around, just tending to their own chores and such. There was that friendly marine, Sha'kal, monitoring a group of them, it looks like they're doing some military exercises. As we pass by I could see he glaces back, that smile beaming like always and a friendly.

Funny enough, the other Marines saw that, glanced at our direction to see who he was waving at. One stopped as he was jogging, causing a domino effect while the furthest in the back made a sudden stop.

The both of us winced a little, "Oops, sorry!", I had to apologize.

"Hello Lorey, it is a pleasure to see you and Fjord again! Oh and don't worry, they're fine! Right gentlemen?", as he addressed three of them on the ground getting up, groaning from their own pile up.

Ronnie's eyes were wide open, if it was anymore hammed up he'd rubbing his eyes. "Woah...I...ugh...I thought-".

"That they were all in mechanical suits? No you're half right but that's all muscle down there.", personally, I was enjoying the view.

"...yeah....ugh...they're...huge...all of them...", he glanced at Fjord who waved back Sha'kal, he started to put the pieces together. He leans to whisper, "Are these guys like....super mutant government experiments or something?".

The guard fist snaps his head to him, "Watch it mortal! We're angels of the Imperium.".

"...no idea what angles these guys have seen but ok go off.", Ronnie grumbled.

Off into the distance, Aldercon had finally arrived to the surface from another entrance, he was out of his big, bulking yellow armor and into something more akin to a standard military uniform of a high ranking officer.

"Miss.Drake! I see you have breached our agreement in a record time of 70 hours, 20 mins and 48 seconds. Hmf, calculations correct as always.", he didn't seem too angry but that snide comment of his was a good sign he wasn't too pleased. Makes sense.

He marched right up to Ronnie, immediately intimidating him. Looking at him up and down like newly recruited meat. "....Stand up straight, boy! James has relayed quite a lot about you so I expect the best out of you. So far, you have the stance of a slacker, but I can you have guts, a newly acquired chip on your shoulder to boot .... likely grieving for someone's loss, my condolences....., yet James has told me you have the qualifications of a team leader. Good. Now then.....Miss.Drake why have you breach our agreement in keeping our existence safe?". The stoic tone in his voice was giving me the strangest sense of anxiety...than again.

"It seems we may have a... situation on our hands....one of the rangers from my work place was....killed.", I would imagine the next thing was going to happen was some semblance of a report, hopefully I'm not one filing anything.

Ronnie within every word Aldercon commanded he had stood straight like a soldier, at first it was an immediate response in fear until he heard Jame's name. "Wait hol'up you know James?", he looked Aldercon in the eyes, which was considerably a big mistake.

The Ronnie's colors flushed from his face with a shift of Aldercon's eyes. His knees even started to shake a little.

"....Yes....I do know your boss James. Like Miss.Drake, he was my handler when I had first come to your world.", the look on Aldercon's eyes was one of hatred or anything truly malignant, but it was akin to being starred down but a large animal.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "It's ok Ron, he isn't going to do anything. These guys have a ....rather complex life, trust me they're serious for good reason. But they're not going to hurt you. I promise.". The look of worry on Ronnie's face was telling.

Shaking his head a little, Aldercon than turns to Fjord. "Don't you think you're out of my line of sight fuzzball! That stunt of yours with the law enforcement officer could have cost us.".

Fjord gave an awkward smile, he knows what he did. "Hehe... At least I missed?".

"Come, I believe we need to register our.... reluctant new mortal here.... considering he works close with you and James, I believe it would be wise to have.... extra eyes.", he turned around, heading towards the same entrance we had gone in before.

Loosening up a little now that Aldercon wasn't looking at him, Ron let out a heavy sigh of relief. "Bruh, Lorey...how does he know James?! What the hell is a handler? A-and-", he stopped mid sentence and saw the training group from earlier, it seemed that that were now just taking a quick break and tossing around what looked like a huge football, but I could tell it looked HEAVY. I could even hear the impact of the ball hitting there palms from all the way where we were standing.

I turn to see what he was looking at, "aw, they know how to play football."

The wheels in Ronnie's head were definitely turning, "Lore...these are built different... aren't they".

"yeah, they' are....they definitely are....", I responded.

"......why do....we feel like they're....ugh...", Ronnie couldn't find the words to say without them likely sounding insulting.....but it was probably the same thoughts as me.....

~~~~~~~~

Later, heading down into the fort, I could see Ronnie had begun to feel a lot more awe struck rather than worried.

"Daaaang this place is huge! It's like some secret government agent kind of shit.", his head was looking at pretty much all the same things I had been looking at.

The bustling construction on some of the walls have moved on to other parts of the underground fort.

"Now, 'Ronnie', what you see here has no affiliation with any of your planet's government agencies, national administrations or any corporate or political group. We are our own governing body here.", Aldercon concluded stoically.

The tilt of Ronnie's head was hard to miss, "I'm sorry...did you say 'planet', like....y'all from outer space?".

I remembered that Fjord would sparingly allude to them coming from some other world but to actually be confirmed this by Aldercon is definitely a little bit more heavy. "Ugh, can you better explain that actually? I think this is the first time I'm hearing this too.".

His eyes shifted to view both of us individually, like a mounted camera, he let out a heavy yet strangely gentle sigh for a man his girth.

"If you two will make the assumption that we as the Astartes, warriors and guardians of the Imperium are ....as some would understandable consider us...."aliens"....as per the definition of 'someone from a different/foreign land'....you both would be correct... however -", he leans over the both of us, shadowing us like a great wall.... probably comparable to the fort's concrete wall outside.

"-we....are human.....not Xenos....do you understand me?". His stare would burn holes into our brains if he could....

I nodded my head, I look to see Ronnie nodding his head as well....

"Good...now.... about that rouge marine....", he concluded.

End of log 26

@kit-williams @barn-anon @egrets-not-regrets @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @walking-natural-disaster @starfrost740 @squishyowl @sleepyfan-blog @lawnchair86

[keeperofthebox]

ok second and bon voyage playlist lyric annotation post... let's go

we own the night - dance gavin dance

this post is probably gonna be EVEN LONGER also this song has yelling in it so if you look it up be warned. however i strongly recommend listening if you have any desire because the delivery of some of these lines is relevant 😭

also cw some of the lyrics have references to heavy drugs. uh this song is about heroin but we are drawing a comparison between being high and how chat noir feels when marinette/ladybug is affectionate toward him

erm. idk if you noticed but bv adrien is a very very jealous little creature because his situation has him so insecure. but marinette is the one in the limelight right now, she's the one being targeted, she's at the center of all this so he wants to let go of all his own feelings and just be her bodyguard

i think in chapter 1 i wrote a part (im too lazy to check) where adrien is thinking ilke "i literally do not care about my father or school or whatever i care about YOU you are what i need to protect"

so this makes me think of that

but it also just makes me think of the fact that he's slowly building up all this hurt inside from not being seen by marinette and it's killing him a little

she is his motivation but also the symbol of his desolation in the same way that "we own the night" is a happy and joyful and confident phrase but within the context of the song it takes on this desperate tone of clawing wildly for that to actually be true

gotta go line by line for the chorus of this one

stomp that feeling: repressing his desire to be seen, he's only supposed to protect her, trying to convince himself that what she's giving him is enough

your puke is a mutant: seeing marinette/ladybug this sad is wrong and hurts him

can't think of who did this, well i grew stupid: his father is monarch and he never knew, his father literally tried to kill her

say accidents happen, (it's admirable/insufferable) acting: kind of the whole situation is the "accident", they're making do with what they have

marinette is the "it's admirable acting" interpretation of the line, she's trying her best to be paris's hero. i think this is the actual line? but i always hear it wrong and think he's saying "insufferable acting", which is more like chat noir's view of his own behavior, he's mood swinging like crazy and he feels so guilty about it

flicking the back of your ear with my finger: him vying for attention, trying to get her to look at him. him not being able to help but say things like "do you need a lap cat" and "i broke up with my girlfriend"

separate is the way, though: he can't be anything but chat noir or else it will endanger more people, no matter how badly he wants to be "adrien" to her

second is the place though: again, he's no.2 in her heart as chat noir, adrien is her no.1

just fake it through the day and the night is your god: chat noir tries to keep up the facade that he's not hurting around marinette and tries so hard to not let his feelings affect his behavior. this is like him trying to convince himself to keep moving forward

see you in battle, your boat is my paddle: uhh they fight together HAHA and she is his reason to keep moving forward

your life is my business, your plaque on my wall: his INSISTENCE on protecting her and keeping her safe. DEVOTION. i think of his ladybug photos he kept in his trophy and the marinette lucky charm that he always kept on him (felix has that right now I wonder if that might have any relevance as to why everything sucks so hard for him atm *cough*)

this whole part is spoilers lol remind me to come back to this after chapter 7 is out

those of you reading this far get to know the exclusive info that adrien is having a good time at that point in the story

he just wants to be able to hold her and look at her and try to keep her safe from the supervillains trying to bully her and her loved ones but in their situation he views that as weakness because he's not supposed to Need anything right now

trying to remember what he's doing it for (her)

i think of bv adrien and felix when i hear this part, there's a tone shift and musical... shift? idk technical terms, for this part because it's the bridge so it feels kind of like a topic change. and anyway felix is the one always fucking calling him HAHA but felix is the one back in paris actually with their friends that are being targeted by monarch. he's also the only one that HE knows, knows his situation (luka knows but adrien doesnt know that). so felix is like. the only person he can rely on for direct support. I promise that will happen in the fic it just hasnt yet LOL

every time marinette/ladybug looks at chat noir in a "more than friends" way it gives him hope and makes him kind of manic/frenzied because it's what he's been silently and not-so-silently begging for this whole time

the thrill is gone!!! he's sad all the time the vibe is so off!!!! but he's putting on a brave face. he's relying on impulsive jokes that slip out of his mouth to seem normal. he's trying to seem like he's not on the verge of Losing It Constantly from how badly he needs to be acknowledged!!! it takes so much distraction to be able to think about anything else and he's desperate for Relief!!!!

he's suffocating under the weight of all this pressure and responsibility and duty........ the celebration thing relates to something directly but it's a spoiler. it seems like sometimes he can finally catch his breath but it doesnt last long because it's just a manic high from getting the dopamine hit he needs from marinette/ladybug it's not Actual contentedness or anything that resolves his insecurity. and then he's left just as sad and frustrated and stressed as he was before. and he hates how long its taking to beat monarch too!!!

HEH thanks for reading if you got this far <33

[kyoosoup]

reading through my old messages and vents is always a rollercoaster

some of my takeaways so far:

1. i can be proud on some counts cause in many cases i've grown or gotten better. some of my messages/vents were from very specific situations that i had either forgotten about or gotten closure to and it's weird to see?? these things that affected me daily are now just memories.

for instance the first time i got creeped on (not counting cat calls) was at work and we called the cops and stuff cause i was maybe 15?? and that really affected me and i mean i still think about it but i was a lot more paranoid back then and it was fresh yk. And im still wary now but it's not as present in my mind as it was.

another thing is how i would often be upset at myself for being lazy and having a hard time focusing and not being able to do schoolwork and burning out. and i would wonder what was wrong with me (poor little me). and now i know ! adhd! lol. my mom was confused about why i was happy to get my diagnosis when i did but for years i had been thinking that i just wasnt doing enough or trying hard enough when i didnt realize it was literally how my brain was wired. ( this was actually a very common theme in my vents thank you diagnosis)

2. sometimes i see replies from old friends and im like man. we used to be these daily presences in each others lives and really close and now we dont even speak or had falling outs. spooky???

3. i see how I myself used to type/speak too and it's weird . i am practically a different person now. the amount i feel like ive changed in the past few years alone is like . exponential compared to before. meeting new people, losing people, losing family, discovering new interests, discovering and accepting more about myself???? actually socializing lol.

4. also just some of my issues were CRAZY ??/ how did i forget that i was working 10 hour shifts back during covid. 6-4 . and then i had to go home and do school ( i couldnt focus at work). omg that was just awful how did i do that

5. whenever i look back at old stuff i am even more grateful for the friends i have now. i had friends at the time but a lot of them weren't very close as the friends i have now or the relationships weren't as healthy as they shouldve been. i often felt incredibly lonely and i can say for sure i have not felt like that in a while (at least not for long periods of time, ive probably had bad days like everyone). maybe some parts of my life now sorta suck but i haven't hated it as much because i have good people supporting me and a lot of close friends who make life well worth living. i could write about how much i love my friends for hours probably

6. omg i remember when some of my big problems were my crushes on boys . THEY WERE ONLINE CRUSHES TOO. you dont understand im actually so embarrassed for myself for like 80-90% of my past real crushes (i am not counting what i thought were crushes but i realize was just admiration or squishes/friend crushes) some people go for looks. some go for personality. somehow, 14-16 year old me chose neither. theres only one of those past crushes that i still keep in touch with and i will say he is chill and we are friends and i am not as embarrassed over that one since he wasnt a sucky person. but like i definitely liked this one guy who was not good for my mental health hahahahha woops. there were more recent embarrassing experiences for me but theyre too fresh i cant laugh at them yet without cringing

7. you know this isnt as related to the old stuff but im writing all this while once again basically forgetting i was kind of a mess earlier this year too. thank you bad memory but let me rewrite my mental history. i am only thinking about the good things this year .

Anyways i dont know why i even wrote this theres no target audience that this applies to i think i just got really bored

[dkfile]

heartache and a latte

❛ it’s hard to tell someone you like them when you lose all self-control around them. like everything goes to auto-pilot. ❜

word count | 9.3k (9,296) genre | fluff, slice of life, strangers to lovers, coffee shop au ━ barista!woozi

you couldn’t help but notice that your spotify mutual woozi has been listening to some downright sad songs as of late, but as much as you want to reach out and console them, you have no way to, seeing as you don’t know who they are. however, fate might give you a chance when you realize that whatever song woozi is listening to is the same one playing whenever you’re in the coffee shop.

★ warnings | there’s nothing but fluff and meddling friends ★ author’s note | there is absolutely no heartache in this fic but im gonna be honest i couldn’t think of another title (read: i was too lazy to) but there is one mention of a latte so!!!

► woozi is currently listening to … Talking to the Moon, Bruno Mars 💿 Doo-Wops & Hooligans

According to Seungcheol, you are truly not Yoon Jeonghan’s friend until you become a victim of his notorious matchmaking. And unfortunately for Wonwoo, Jeonghan has declared him his number one target, and your poor best friend has been going on bad date after bad date for the past month.

Wonwoo collapses into the seat across from you, the heavy breaths falling from his lips fog up his glasses and it only takes him three more heaves before he takes them off and throws them onto the table, caring very little for the way they almost clatter onto the floor. You raise an eyebrow at him, trying your best not to show your amusement, before humming.

“Why are you so upset?”

He throws you a look, clearly not happy with your sarcasm, and throws his hands up in the air in frustration. Yesterday he made the mistake of telling Jeonghan he has little to no assignments due this week, which Jeonghan took as an invitation to schedule more dates — whilst Seungcheol was shaking with laughter, Wonwoo looked like he wanted to jump out a window.

“I can’t believe I have to live like this,” he groans, burying his face in his hands. “God, I knew Jeonghan was persistent, but I didn’t know it was like this.”

You hum. “That’s Jeonghan for you.”

“Whenever he texts me about a date I start to feel the walls closing in on me.”

You throw him a look. “You’re so overdramatic. I think Seungkwan’s starting to rub off on you.”

Wonwoo ignores your comment. “No, you don’t get it. Every week, I go on a date, it ends badly, Jeonghan reprimands me, then he sets me up on another one. It’s a never-ending cycle and I can’t take it anymore, Y/N. I can’t take it.”

“Then just lie to him. Tell him you’ve found the love of your life or something.”

“Jeonghan’s got the best bullshit detector I’ve ever seen. He would never believe me,” Wonwoo says. You think this might be the most annoyed Wonwoo’s ever been, which is astonishing, given the fact that just last week during movie night at your place, he witnessed Seungkwan and Mingyu’s atrocious reenactment of Titanic. They acted out every scene, word for word. For two hours.

You have videos to prove it.

“Well, then there’s nothing I can do to help you.”

He scowls. “Gee, thanks.”

You shrug, unbothered by his irritation. It will only take a couple of minutes before Wonwoo calms down and cracks open his laptop to watch Sims 4 let’s plays from the early 2010s, so you continue working on an essay for your Asian Civilization class. It’s due today and you didn’t start it until a few minutes ago but, in your defence, you’ve been swamped with other priorities (like rewatches of Love Island and The Bachelor), and at least you’re not doing it at 11 P.M.

You huff when a loud ding in your ear signals that your airpods are almost dead. Lazily, you search for the case at the bottom of your bag before taking the earbuds off and allowing them to charge. You go to pause your music too, just in case it continues playing — which has happened before. Once when you were in the library, the heavy metal Seungcheol added to the friend group’s collaborative study playlist conveniently started blasting the moment your airpods died, which was utterly humiliating. You haven’t stepped foot in the library since then.

A small sigh of relief escapes you when you see that the song’s paused, but then you glance to the side section of the Spotify screen and frown.

You aren’t sure how long you’ve been mutuals with woozi or even who they are — which is strange since you only have about six followers, all of them being people in your small tight-knit group of friends — and you’ve never bothered to find out. But lately, woozi has been listening to a collection of rather depressing heartbreak songs, and you aren’t sure whether they’ve just been in a mood for the past three months or if they’re going through a bad breakup.

“What are you frowning at?” Wonwoo asks. Just like you predicted, he’s already opened up his laptop. He’s looking at you with a hint of curiosity, but you know that one little white lie and he’ll leave you alone.

“Just something for my assignment.”

Wonwoo nods before looking back down at his screen. You only stare at woozi’s icon — which is a Marvel superhero you can’t quite remember the name of — for a couple more seconds before going back to Google Docs.

No time to worry about someone you don’t know. You have an assignment to finish.

► woozi is currently listening to … Two Slow Dancers, Mitski 💿 Be the Cowboy

“Dude,” Soonyoung groans, throwing his body against the counter. Jihoon glances at him with mild exasperation, and although Soonyoung is far from finished wiping down the tables, he doesn’t bother to reprimand his friend for his laziness. “All you gotta do is talk to her.”

Jun, another one of Jihoon’s co-workers, purses his lips. He and Soonyoung have been exchanging relationship advice for the past twenty minutes. Jihoon, however, has chosen to stay quiet, but he doesn’t stray too far away because he still wants to be part of the conversation.

“It’s not as easy as you think,” Jun retorts, harshly wiping at a stain on the counter that’s been there for as long as Jihoon’s been employed. “Whenever I try to talk to her, my brain just stops working. I malfunction. Everything in me freezes. Plus, she’s, like, out of my league.”

“Well, I know that,” Soonyoung huffs, barely dodging the smack Jun reaches out to give him. “But you just need some practice. C’mon, practice on me.”

Jun sighs. For a moment, Jihoon thinks he’ll turn Soonyoung down, but then he steps back and clears his throat. For as long as Jihoon’s known him, Jun has never turned down an opportunity to perform.

“Hi,” Jun begins weakly. Soonyoung catches Jihoon’s eye over Jun’s shoulder and they both wince. “So, I was wondering—”

“Please stop.”

“What— But I barely started!”

“I already couldn’t stand it,” Soonyoung says. “Dude, you’ve got no game.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk—”

Jihoon purses his lips and moves to the side, deciding now is the best time to get away from this conversation. Before Soonyoung can even think about dragging Jihoon in, he’s already grabbing a cloth and going towards one of the empty tables. It’s been relatively slow today and he’s pretty sure he wiped this table an hour ago, but if cleaning is what will save him from Jun and Soonyoung’s argument then so be it.

College students are scattered all over the vicinity. It’s rather calm — save for behind the counter where his friends attempt to keep their voices low — but the tranquil atmosphere is broken momentarily when a boy storms in and makes his way to an occupied booth. Jihoon only stares at him with a frown for a couple more seconds before realizing that the person he’s sitting with is his friend — of course, how could he forget? You two have been coming into this coffee shop since the beginning of time.

Jihoon catches snippets of the conversation (something about bad dates and someone named Seungkwan? He swears that the name sounds familiar…) before he makes his way back to the counter. Jun and Soonyoung’s argument seems to have been resolved — record-breakingly quick, Jihoon adds — but he can tell Jun is still a little disgruntled. When one of Jihoon’s favourite songs comes on the speakers, the taller boy throws him a halfhearted glare and pouts.

“This is the last thing I needed to hear right now.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes because while he is in charge of the music they play in the shop, it’s not his fault that Spotify shuffle decided to play Two Slow Dancers. But because Jun’s day has already been bad enough, Jihoon decides to give him the benefit of the doubt. He slips into the back to retrieve his phone and scrolls through his playlists in hopes of finding something that will cheer his friend up.

But doing that is harder than expected and he ends up just putting a random Spotify-generated playlist on shuffle.

Party In The U.S.A comes on and in the booth across from Jeon Wonwoo, you jump at the sudden change in music. Your best friend is too immersed with whatever’s on his laptop to notice the sudden change in the atmosphere, but he seems to be the only one. Some of the customers jerk up in surprise while others raise their heads with furrowed eyebrows. Two employees, a boy with unruly platinum hair and a taller boy with brown hair falling into his eyes, simultaneously fall into laughter just as another one of their colleagues emerges from the back, sporting a hairdo that only comes from working an 8-hour shift.

You briefly meet the latter employee’s eyes. He smiles politely, as every worker would do, before turning to his friends.

Despite your airpods only being in the case for two minutes, you take them out anyway and put them on. You’ll let them charge once the song is over because there’s absolutely no way you’ll be able to focus with Party In The U.S.A blasting. When you open Spotify again, you notice that the song woozi’s listening to has changed to the same one that’s playing in the coffee shop.

Weird. Your eyes narrow but you decide not to worry too much about it. You have bigger fish to fry.

Like this fucking essay.

You scowl as you open Google Docs up again.

► woozi is currently listening to … The Night We Met, Lord Huron 💿 Strange Trails

While you wouldn’t consider observance as something you excel at, you wouldn’t necessarily call yourself oblivious. You can catch on to things without much help, so it’s embarrassing that it took you so long to figure out that the song woozi is always listening to is the same one that plays whenever you’re in the coffee shop.

You aren’t quite sure what to do after coming to this realization. It’s not like you could just run to the coffee shop and demand to meet woozi just so you can see if he’s OK.

Well. Maybe you could, considering you’re in the shop after running three minutes from Seungkwan and Mingyu’s apartment.

“Hi,” you exhale, your energy quickly running out as you lean against the front counter, ignoring the blond barista’s concerned expression.

“Hello,” the employee greets you. As your eyes scan the nametag pinned to his blue apron — Soonyoung, written messily with silver Sharpie — you briefly wonder if this boy could be your Spotify mutual. But he’s smiling at you with enough radiance to rival the sun, and he doesn’t give off the sad, broken, tortured vibe you always assumed woozi has.

You’re snapped out of your daze when the barista clears his throat. It’s then you realize that you haven’t been paying attention to anything he’s been saying. “What can I get for you today?”

“Right, um,” you trail off, wondering how to frame your question. It’s not like you thought about this on the run over, which you probably should have. It would make this interaction a lot less uncomfortable. “Sorry. I’m looking for someone.”

Soonyoung’s eyebrows rise. “Uh, OK. Are you one of Jun’s friends? Because his shift ended a few minutes ago—”

“Oh. No, I’m not here for Jun,” you say with a quick shake of your head. “I’m here for Woozi?”

Soonyoung blinks. “Who?”

“Um. Woozi.”

“Right. I don’t know who that is.”

Somewhat defeated, you inhale sharply and nod your head. “Oh, OK. I just… Sorry, this might sound weird, but I’m following Woozi on Spotify and they’ve just been listening to some… sad songs recently — actually, I’ve noticed they’ve been listening to them for a while and I realized that the song they’re listening to is always the same one that’s playing here and I just wanted to make sure they’re, like, OK? Or if heartbreakingly sad songs are something they just vibe with. So, um… Yeah. Sorry again.”

Throughout your entire ramble, Soonyoung stares at you blankly. You think you might have just humiliated yourself in the worst possible way before the barista breaks out into an incredulous grin. He lets out a loud cackle, catching the attention of some of the customers, before he’s shaking his head and gestures for you to wait.

“I’ll be right back,” he says in between laughs. You gawk at him as he stumbles out of sight.

You awkwardly stand at the front counter, wringing your hands as you wait for Soonyoung to reemerge. In your back pocket, your phone vibrates with what you assume are texts from your friends, probably asking if you’re coming back anytime soon. You had made a lame excuse of needing coffee before slipping out of the door, which you’re pretty sure they didn’t believe.

(“You need coffee?” Seungkwan had asked, bewildered. “It’s eight in the evening.”

Jeonghan looked at you as if you had something on your face. “Yeah, plus we have coffee here. Why would you run all the way over there to spend money on mediocre drinks? Be serious for a moment, Y/N.”)

Before you can pull out your phone and send a quick text to assure them you’ll be back, you hear loud protests and devious laughter before Soonyoung walks out, dragging someone behind him. The barista who seems to be working every time you’re here, his hair always dishevelled in one way or another, is grumbling beside his colleague, but when he sees you standing there, he masks his expression with a smile he reserves only for customers.

Soonyoung stops his friend from saying anything and pats him a little too roughly on the back. “So, I have some amazing news for you! This boy right here is Jihoon.”

Jihoon furrows his eyebrows, slightly confused with the introduction. “Soonyoung, what are you—?”

“But,” Soonyoung continues, ignoring Jihoon’s confusion, “you might know him as Woozi.”

► woozi is currently listening to … You’re Somebody Else, flora cash 💿 Baby, It’s Okay

When Soonyoung rushes into the back room — startling Jihoon as he tries to savour every last minute of his break —and says something along the lines of, “Dude, guess what? I just found the love of your life,” Jihoon doesn’t know what to expect as his best friend dragged him to the front, but one thing’s for sure: he does not expect this.

Soonyoung, who annoyingly assures Jihoon that it’ll be fine if he goes over break, ushers the two of you to one of the booths in the back so you could, as Soonyoung put it, “Enjoy some time together!” which both you and Jihoon found off-putting seeing as he says it with a conspiratorial smile and a mischievous glint in his eye.

Now, Jihoon sits in a booth across from someone he’s never spoken a word to before other than, “What can I get for you today?” and “Your total is…”

“So…” you begin, “this is awkward.”

Jihoon, who was previously playing with the napkin dispenser to avoid eye contact, surprises himself by laughing at your comment. He hastily builds up the courage to apologize and explain that he didn’t mean to laugh at you, but when he meets your eyes, you’ve broken out into a cautious half-smile. The tense atmosphere shatters as soon as the chuckle falls from his lips and now both of you feel like you can relax, which he’s extremely thankful for; he’s completely unaware of what to do in a situation such as this. It’s not like he knows anybody who has had a Spotify mutual try to reach out to them because they’re concerned about them.

The fact that you did, though, is oddly heartwarming.

After a beat, Jihoon says, “There’s really nothing to worry about— with my music taste, I mean. I’m not going through a bad breakup or anything, but it’s nice of you to reach out and check if I’m good. No one’s ever done that for me before.”

Your smile grows sheepish. “I don’t think anyone’s ever done that before.”

Jihoon smiles back. “Guess that makes me extra special then.”

You purse your lips to prevent yourself from continuing to grin like an idiot. “So you just listen to all this sappy stuff because you like it?”

“I mean… yeah. That’s why people listen to music.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“Do you not like upbeat stuff?”

“‘Course I do,” Jihoon shrugs and relaxes against the back of the seat. Out of his line of sight, Soonyoung watches his friend’s interaction with sharp eyes. He’s almost buzzing at the thought of telling Jun all about this later. “But I listen to slower songs more. And I’m in charge of the music here, and a coffee shop isn’t exactly the perfect environment for EDM.”

Your eyes glimmer. “Well, you never know.”

Jihoon quirks an eyebrow. “Is that some sort of challenge?”

“No, actually,” you hum, drumming your fingers on the table. “But now that I think about it, it would be nice to play some less sad songs here.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“Let me pick the music that you guys play.”

The proposal is so preposterous that Jihoon laughs. In all the years he’s worked in this quaint cafe, he has never let anyone touch the music station (read: the small table in the back where he keeps his phone that’s connected to the speakers) — it took two years before he let Soonyoung and Jun take the reins, and he only allows them to pick the songs when he isn’t working. Hell will freeze over before Jihoon puts something as important as this in the palms of some stranger.

“No way,” he scoffs.

“OK. Let me pick the music that plays while I’m here.”

He shakes his head. “Absolutely not. Besides, I only work here part-time. What happens if you’re here and I’m not? There are holes in your plan.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “Then I’ll come here when you have a shift.”

“You’re persistent, aren’t you?”

You give a dismissive wave of your hand, ignoring the evident amusement on Jihoon’s face. “When do you work next?”

Jihoon searches your face for some sort of tell, anything that says that you’re bluffing. But there are no cracks in your posture, no signs that point to an act. He concludes that he just doesn’t know you well enough to figure out whether you’re lying or not, and decides — hopes — you probably won’t live up to your word.

So, Jihoon offers up the information. “Tomorrow at seven.”

“Opening shift?”

He shakes his head. “Closing. Seven P.M.”

You grin. “See you then, Woozi.”

► woozi is currently listening to … Love In The Dark, Adele 💿 25

Turns out, you were not bluffing.

You come into the coffee shop followed by two people Jihoon’s never seen you with before. A tall boy who trips the moment he steps inside and a blond who oozes confidence trail behind you, seemingly in their own little world when you arrive at the counter.

Behind Jihoon, Soonyoung and Jun start whispering to each other the moment they see you. He’s dreading the moment you leave and they bombard him with questions; Soonyoung and Jun love to tease their friends, and Jihoon doesn’t mind it as long as he isn’t on the receiving end of it.

You’re grinning at him like all the light in the world can’t rival the luminescence of your smile and he knows he’s doomed.

You pretend to study the menu before looking at him. “This is one of my favourite songs.”

Jihoon’s eyes narrow. “Me too,” he replies. Before you can say anything else, Jihoon continues, “Is there anything I can get for you today?”

Your friend — the shorter one who carries himself with an air of authority — pops out from behind you, giving Jihoon a polite smile. “Iced americano please.”

The taller boy adds, “And a blueberry scone for me.”

Jihoon’s eyes land back on you. “Oh, just a small latte will be fine,” you say, “as well as a different song.”

The blond beside you frowns. “I kind of like this song, though.”

Jihoon gives you a small victorious grin. “Well, if he likes it then I see no reason to change it. How would you like to pay?”

As you grumble under your breath and take out your card, momentarily occupied with the pin pad, Jihoon moves to the side to grab a scone. When he does this, Soonyoung gasps loudly behind him which is then followed by a loud exclamation, “Seungkwan!”

The blond brightens. Seungkwan and Soonyoung immediately fall into conversation before Seungkwan drags your other friend — Mingyu, Jihoon overhears — as well as Jun, leaving both of you alone. It’s only then that Jihoon remembers why the name Seungkwan is so familiar; a few months ago, Soonyoung wouldn’t stop complaining about how incompetent his group was in his Microbiology class, save for a younger boy named Seungkwan.

Jihoon clicks his tongue. Seems like he has more connections with you than he thought.

“So,” you say once you’ve made sure your payment has been approved, “are you gonna change the song?”

Jihoon looks at you over the display case of pastries. “No.”

“Thought so,” you sigh. “But I’m not going to give up, you know. I’m going to break you.”

Jihoon can’t help the smile that makes its way to his lips no matter how hard he tries to fight it. He’s usually good at keeping a poker face so he isn’t quite sure why he’s struggling so much. He brushes it off, deeming it a problem that’ll fix itself, and muses, “Is that so?”

“Mhm! I just need to find your soft spot, I’ll figure it out somehow, given that your friends seem to be friends with mine?” you falter, turning your head in the direction of Seungkwan, Mingyu, Soonyoung, and Jun, who all seem to be in a rather heated conversation about NASCAR. You glance back at Jihoon, clearly just as confused about the sudden friendship as he is. “Did you know they knew each other?”

“Soonyoung’s talked about Seungkwan before,” Jihoon explains as he puts Mingyu’s blueberry scone in a paper bag. “I never realized you knew him until now, though.”

“That’s so weird,” you say.

“You could say that.”

“Well, I could get something out of Soonyoung,” you declare as Jihoon turns to make your drinks since his other coworkers seem to have better things to do. Sometimes Jihoon thinks that he’s the only one around here who actually works. “Surely he knows how I can break down your walls and get you to trust me enough to pick a more lively song And if not,” you pause, “I could resort to blackmail.”

Jihoon throws you a look over his shoulder. “Blackmail?”

“Yes. There has to be an embarrassing picture of you on the internet somewhere.”

“You’ll be searching for years.”

Your mouth curls. “We’ll see about that! I’m good at investigating. I put Nancy Drew and Sherlock Holmes to shame.”

“You talk a big game for someone who took months to realize that the same song woozi listens to is the same one playing at the coffee shop.”

You scowl. “Oh, be quiet. That doesn’t count.”

Jihoon places both drinks on the pick-up counter, meeting your gaze with a teasing glint in his eyes. “Right,” he says softly. You’re leaning against the counter and you don’t realize he is too, the space between you two decreasing slowly before he backs away and taps the counter twice. “Order up!”

At the sound of his voice, Seungkwan and Mingyu look over to where you stand, slightly flustered, and reach over to grab their things. The two boys say a chaste goodbye — Mingyu says something about running late to a hangout with the rest of the friend group — but you stay frozen in place. You only move after two awkward beats, Seungkwan jabbing your side with his elbow and giving you an incredulous look.

“We gotta go otherwise Seungcheol’s going to kill us,” he says.

“Oh. Right,” you respond, gripping your to-go cup tightly. “Bye, guys!”

Your eyes linger on Jihoon, who only gives you a small smile before turning to clean something near the coffee machines. Seungkwan and Mingyu meet each other’s eyes over your head, mouthing comments you don’t bother to understand before Seungkwan jabs you again and gestures that it’s time to leave.

As soon as you’re out, Mingyu says, “Jihoon seems nice.”

There’s a mysterious lilt in his voice but you can’t quite figure out what he’s implying. “Yeah, he is.”

Once you arrive at Seungcheol’s apartment, Seungkwan whispers something to Jeonghan who, afterwards, throws you curious glances throughout the entire evening — which, of course, you don’t notice, too focussed on the horror movie playing on the TV.

Seungkwan has no idea where you got the idea that you were observant because you most definitely are not.

► woozi is currently listening to … Bored, Billie Eilish 💿 Bored

“How about an Ariana song?”

“No.”

“Not even six thirty? Come on, man.”

“Nope.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

Jihoon shrugs, unaffected by your chastising as he makes paper cranes with the napkins. You conveniently got to the shop a few minutes before his break started — you also insisted that you didn’t even know he was working today, which he finds hard to believe — and he figured that his thirty minutes of freedom are better spent with you than in the back room on his phone.

You give up working on homework the moment Jihoon sits down, deeming the boy and his hesitant smile much more interesting than the project you need to finish for Statistics.

When he immediately shuts down your song suggestion, you drop the subject — something he doesn’t expect — and ask him about the classes he’s taking this semester. You suppose that if you’re going to be bothering him for as long as possible, you might as well try to get to know him, and once he starts talking about his music courses, your eyes soften at how excited he is.

He’s clearly passionate about it, and though you know next to nothing about music, you become entranced by the way he talks about it. His voice, which is usually gentle, becomes more animated and energetic. He leans forward when he explains the different types of mechanisms and productions, never breaking eye contact while his hands fly in the air as he makes different gestures.

You think you could listen to him talk about this forever without becoming sick of it.

You’re so captivated by the words falling from his lips that you don’t notice someone standing in front of your table, and neither does Jihoon until the figure clears his throat in an attempt to capture your attention.

Jeonghan stands nonchalantly, hands tucked in the pockets of his sweatpants. His eyes flicker between you and Jihoon multiple times before they permanently settle on you, and he gives you a smile that creates an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. You’re about to ask him what he wants, but he beats you to it.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he chirps ominously. You eye him with suspicion but he doesn’t seem to care. “You weren’t answering your messages, but I figured you’d be here,” he raises an eyebrow, throwing Jihoon an indecipherable look, “you always seem to be here.”

You tap your fingers on the table impatiently. It’s not like it’s weird you’ve been spending a lot of time here — ever since freshman year, you and Wonwoo have been stopping by whenever you get the chance. “What are you getting at?”

“Nothing,” he says dismissively. “Anyway, Seungkwan’s away game is starting in an hour and I just wanted to know if you’re gonna be carpooling with me and Cheol or if you’ll just go alone.”

You sniff, still trying to spot any questionable things in Jeonghan’s behaviour. “I’ll carpool. When were you guys planning on leaving?”

“In about fifteen minutes. My car’s parked out there, so I figured we could stay here and wait for Seungcheol.”

You glance at Jihoon. “Um, I guess—”

“Awesome!” Jeonghan exclaims and he slides into the spot beside Jihoon. You gape in horror, just as startled by your friend’s behaviour as Jihoon, and watch as Jeonghan sticks his hand out for him to shake. “Nice to meet you, by the way. I’m Jeonghan.”

Jihoon hesitantly shakes his head. “I’m Jihoon.”

“Oh, I know.”

“Um…”

Jeonghan ignores Jihoon’s confusion and flashes a dazzling smile. “So, what were you guys talking about?”

For the last few minutes of Jihoon’s break, you’re surprised that the conversation flows smoothly. You don’t talk much, watching Jeonghan with fearful wariness as he asks Jihoon about giving him some guitar lessons, but just as you’re about to relax, Soonyoung calls Jihoon from the counter and asks him to come back.

He throws you a smile before he slips to the back to adjust his uniform. Once he’s out of sight, Jeonghan’s previous angelic expression disappears, and he fixes you with a look that is all too familiar. He’s plotting something and you aren’t sure whether you’re the victim or the accomplice.

“He seems nice,” he says with the same tone Mingyu used the other day. “How long have you known him?”

“Not that long? A few weeks maybe.”

“Nice,” Jeonghan nods. Then, he smacks you with a question that almost makes you spill your coffee. “Is he single?”

“Huh?”

“There’s someone in my Stats class that might like him,” he says smoothly.

“Who?”

“You don’t know them.”

“We’re in the same Statistics class, Jeonghan.”

“We are?” he says with feigned shock. At your unamused expression, his mouth curls into a smirk. “Don’t worry about it, Y/N, they’re nice. I think Jihoon would like them.”

A bothersome feeling spreads across your chest, and you have to do your best to ignore it. If Jeonghan notices you squirming, he doesn’t say anything about it. “I thought you were fixing Wonwoo up with someone,” you protest quietly, “And I don’t think Jihoon would like it if you started meddling with his love life.”

“I think Wonwoo’s tired of all the matchmaking.”

“He never actually liked it.”

“That’s also true,” Jeonghan agrees. “But you never answered my question. Is Jihoon single?”

“I don’t know,” you respond. “It’s not something we’ve talked about.”

There’s a spark in Jeonghan’s eyes that you’re sure means anything but good. Before you can ask him if there’s something else he’s not telling you, Seungcheol enters the shop, lingering in the entrance as he shouts at the two of you to hurry up.

Jeonghan follows Seungcheol out the door and you trail closely behind. Before you’re out, though, Jihoon taps your shoulder and places a small cup in your hand.

His sheepish smile causes you to soften, and you think you might collapse into mush when he says, “Just something for the road. On the house.”

Your voice comes out quieter than you expected, “Thank you.”

He lifts his shoulder in a half shrug. “It’s nothing. Really.”

Your heartbeat quickens and you scurry out of the coffee shop before the stuttering of your chest becomes too unbearable.

► woozi is currently listening to … If By Chance, Ruth B. 💿 Safe Haven

You might have to revoke Wonwoo’s best friend card.

Jeonghan has finally decided to free Wonwoo from his Cupid shenanigans and to celebrate his freedom, Wonwoo has been taking every chance he gets to poke fun at you because as it turns out, you are the new recipient of Jeonghan’s tenacious matchmaking. And Wonwoo makes sure you never forget — he has hourly reminders to text you about eligible bachelors on campus. You’re very close to blocking him.

You enter the coffee shop with a huff. All of your friends have classes at noon on Fridays so you’re savouring this free time as much as you can. You’re looking for a place to sit when your eyes land on Jihoon sitting in a booth that’s almost out of sight — the same booth where the two of you had your first conversation.

He doesn’t see you coming until you settle across from him. You notice the papers littered over the table and the open laptop, and you immediately jump to apologize for disrupting him but he shakes his head and beams.

“You’re not supposed to be working today,” you say because a few days ago he sacrificed his work schedule after you persistently continued to bother him about it. You have it screenshotted on your phone.

“I’m not,” he replies.

“So even when you’re not working you hang out here?”

“Don’t judge me,” Jihoon scoffs. “Might I remind you that you have no life outside of school and this coffee shop?”

You almost grumble that you only ever come here when he’s working — except for today — but you stop yourself. “What are you working on?”

“I’m just adding the finishing touches to this song I composed for class,” he says with a clipped tone. His demeanour shifts from relaxed to defensive and you frown as he brings his notebook closer to his figure before eventually dropping it into his backpack.

You scan his face, unsure of what it is you’re searching for, before slumping back and deciding to let it go. Maybe he just doesn’t want you to see his work, which is understandable.

You try to ignore the dull sting. “And it sounds alright?”

“I hope so,” he hums. “What are you doing here?”

“Avoiding,” you mutter, sliding further down the seat as if you’re hiding from something. Which — well, you are. If your friends go searching for you, this is the first place they’ll stop by, and in hindsight, you probably should’ve gone somewhere else to avoid Jeonghan, but this cafe has a certain aura that draws you toward it. It engulfs you with so much warmth until you’re hot to the touch.

Jihoon’s interest peaks at the sound of your annoyance. “Avoiding what?”

“Jeonghan,” you sniff. “He’s been trying to set me up on dates. Do you know that guy Ian? Frat boy from Alpha Beta Something.”

Jihoon straightens in his chair and nods stiffly. He has nothing against Ian, he met him once through Soonyoung, and he seems like a nice enough guy, but the mention of you and him going on a date floods Jihoon with enough dread to make him go frigid.

“Yeah, well, apparently I’m going out with him tonight,” you glower at the table. “And I’m sure Ian’s nice or whatever, but I don’t want to go on a date with him. Aren’t you supposed to go on a date with someone because you want to?”

The vehemence dripping from your words causes Jihoon to relax a little. “So why don’t you just not go?”

“It’s not that simple,” you sigh. “If I don’t go then Jeonghan will ask me why and when I give him an excuse he’ll just go, ‘Well, I think you’re lying, Y/N. Give me the real reason,’ and I won’t be able to give him the real reason because…”

Jihoon blinks. “Because…?”

You let out a harsh breath. “It’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it isn’t.”

“It kind of is,” you scoff incredulously, almost as if you’re astonished by your own idiocy. “Have you ever had a crush on someone? The kind of crush that just hits you out of nowhere and overwhelms you with so many feelings that sometimes you find it difficult to breathe?”

What you’re describing should sound outlandish — it’s the type of emotion Jihoon sees in early 2010 sitcoms. It’s suffocating and refreshing all at the same time, and it’s hard to tell if it’s just intense infatuation or real, true feelings because they come all at once. It’s a tsunami of butterflies and racing heartbeats and Jihoon used to think it was completely unrealistic.

But he knows exactly what you’re talking about.

He nods in affirmation and that’s all you need to continue talking.

“Well, if I tell Jeonghan about this, all he would do is push me to confess when I don’t want to. At least not yet, because it’s hard to tell someone you like them when you lose all self-control when you’re around them. Like everything goes to auto-pilot.”

Impulsively, Jihoon questions, “Who do you have these feelings for?”

“I—what?”

He realizes too late what he’s just asked and flushes bright red. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that—”

You choke out an, “It’s fine,” before clearing your throat and sloppily steering the topic of conversation to the new limited drink on the menu. It’s a boring topic to talk about, but Jihoon’s grateful for the change because he would rather forget the other conversation.

Who could you possibly like?

He doesn’t get a chance to ask you because you’re pulled away from him a few minutes later by a delighted Jeonghan who declares to the entire café that tonight you are going on a first date with someone who could potentially be the love of your life. Before the door closes behind you, you timidly wave to Jihoon and he returns the gesture, unable to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest as you disappear.

He is unable to get out of his mind for the next two hours he spends at the coffee shop.

► woozi is currently listening to … august, Taylor Swift 💿 folklore

Unlike the majority of the population, Jihoon likes opening shifts.

He basks in the silence, enjoying the few hours he has in solitude before a customer comes in. Saturday mornings are the slowest of the week, so as Jihoon sluggishly turns the sign from Closed to Open, he’s happy. There will be little to no customers, so he’ll have peace for the next few hours before Jun comes barrelling in for his shift at eleven.

He grabs the stool from the back and places it behind the counter so he can sit while working on his music and simultaneously man the front. His hand works at a remarkable pace as he scribbles on the pages of his notebook, annotating the lyrics of the song he wrote on a whim last night — it might not be the best thing he’s ever written, but it’s quite good for a two A.M. creation.

He’s just about to work on the second verse when he hears the door swing open. He frowns after glancing at his watch, noting how early it is before he looks up and realizes it’s you. And once he shoves down the immediate joy, his confusion grows.

Why are you awake at nine A.M. on a Saturday?

But once you approach, Jihoon is given his answer. There are evident bags under your eyes and your movements are lethargic; either you didn’t get much sleep or you didn’t sleep at all.

“Hi,” you murmur. You tug at the sleeves of your sweater to assure they’re way past your fingertips before smiling lazily at Jihoon. “Working hard?”

He ignores your question. “Why are you here?”

You falter at the unintentional rigour in his voice. “Oh. Well, I remembered you have a shift today, so…”

“You could’ve come later, though,” he tuts with a shake of his head. “Did you even sleep?”

“A bit.”

“Clearly not enough,” he muses.

“Is it that obvious?”

He fiddles with his pen as he scans your face. “Only a little,” he confirms, “nothing some coffee won’t fix.”

You quickly shove your hands into your pockets, searching for something that isn’t there. “Maybe next time. I didn’t bring any money.”

He dismisses you with a simple wave. “No, it’s fine,” he assures you. He’s halfway towards the coffee machine when another wave of perplexity hits him. “Wait, you don’t have money? Why did you come here then?”

You give him a look. “I told you already. I remembered that you had a shift.”

“So you came here to…?”

“See you.”

Jihoon ignores the relentless thumps against his chest. “Without cash?”

“Without cash,” you repeat.

He carefully slides the cup of coffee towards you, studying your every move. Despite your voice being louder than the music playing through the speakers, Jihoon still manages to tune you out. He follows your sloth-like movements, the way your eyes flutter closed for a moment too long, and wonders what you could have possibly done last night to warrant such exhaustion.

Then, he remembers.

“How was your date?”

Either you do a brilliant job of hiding your surprise at being asked such a sudden question, or you knew this was coming.

“It was OK.”

And that’s all you say.

Jihoon frowns. “What did you guys do?”

“Dinner and a movie,” you say monotonously. “Sounds exhilarating, right?”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.”

“I am,” you sigh. “Ian’s a nice person, I guess, but I don’t think there’ll be another date.”

Jihoon puts up a facade of nonchalance when he asks, “And what about that person you were talking about yesterday?” Out of the corner of his eye, you stiffen. “How are things going with them?”

A beat that drags on for too long. Then — “Good. Things could be better but,” you explain, tugging your ear, “I’m taking what I can get.”

“That’s good.”

Awkwardly, you clear your throat. “Mhm.” Then you change the subject after glancing down at his songwriting book. “Is this a new song?”

He nods. “Yeah, I wrote it last night.”

“What’s it about?”

“Oh,” Jihoon ducks his head to avoid eye contact. He thinks about the song he was working on the last time he saw you — he refrained from giving you a peek, afraid that once you scanned the lyrics you’d be able to see right through him. He’s poured his entire being into that song. Traces of his heart, soul, and feelings linger on each lyric, and yesterday, when you slid into the seat across from him, he was overcome with fear.

But then it dissipated into nothing the moment you said something along the lines of “I’m going on a date with Ian the Frat Boy from Alpha Beta Something, and he seems like a nice guy, but when has nice ever been enough?”

This time, a new song sits in front of him, just as heartfelt as the other, and he shows it to you with no hesitation.

You raise your eyebrows, not expecting Jihoon to be so willing to share, but you read his work nonetheless. As you read through, Jihoon sits uncomfortably on his chair, anxiously fidgeting with anything he can get his hands on. When he deems you’ve been quiet for too long, terror begins to creep its way back into the crevices of his brain but is quickly squashed down when you look up at him and smile.

He would do anything to have you look at him like that again.

“This is so good!” you praise, clapping your hands. “Once you record this you should play it here.”

Jihoon laughs. “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, come on, please,” you beg, sandwiching his hands in between yours. You clutch them in desperation and Jihoon’s heartbeat quickens dangerously. “For me.”

Something in his mind explodes when your eyes soften.

“Fine,” he grumbles but the grin plastered across his face is enough for you to determine that he is anything but annoyed at you.

► woozi is currently listening to … King Of My Heart, Taylor Swift 💿 reputation

A night of karaoke and Just Dance at Seungkwan’s has demanding consequences, so by the time you arrive back at Wonwoo’s apartment, you’re exhausted. He’s been kind enough to let you stay for the night, seeing as you’re too tired to get behind the wheel and drive ten minutes to your place. And also you’re convinced that his couch is a lot more comfortable than your cheap mattress.

Once you settle on the sofa, you scroll through the notifications on your phone. Seungcheol has wasted no time in embarrassing your entire friend group, tagging all of you in an Instagram story where everyone is shouting the lyrics to Toxic by Britney Spears. You scowl and send him a colourful message, begging him to delete the post.

You’re about to turn off your phone when you spot the red bubble hovering over the messages app, and your heart leaps to your throat when you realize Jihoon texted you hours ago.

He doesn’t say much. The first message is his work schedule for next week and the following is a picture of Jun spilling coffee on his apron. At midnight, just two hours ago, he sent you a goodnight text with the sparkly pink heart emoji.

It’s not much, you remind yourself, and yet you feel like you’re soaring. You’re certain the entire apartment building can feel your happiness through the walls.

You aren’t sure how long you stare at your phone. You’d probably be staring at it forever if Wonwoo hadn’t walked out of the bathroom, hair wet from his shower. He sends you a skeptical glance you completely miss before loudly clearing his throat. “What are you looking at?”

“TikToks,” you say. You’re quick on your feet, he’ll give you that, but he’s known you long enough to see through a lie.

“There’s no sound coming from your phone.”

“I’m reading the captions.”

“I don’t think staring intensely at the screen would be considered reading,” he states drily. He sits on the opposite end of the couch, sporting an authoritative expression that you know means nothing but bad for you. Wonwoo is always sputtering out words of wisdom, but they cut you deeper late at night when you’re vulnerable and your emotions are at an all-time high. “Are you texting Jihoon?”

You look at him like he’s grown another head. “Why would you immediately jump to that conclusion?”

“Something in your face changes when you talk to him. It’s very… what’s the word,” he smacks his lips together, glancing up towards the ceiling in thought. You aren’t sure if he’s actually searching for the correct term or if he’s just pausing for dramatic effect. “Ah — lovesick.”

“What?”

“It sounds about right, doesn’t it?”

“What the f—?”

“You know,” Wonwoo interrupts. He shuts down your protests, swatting your words away as if they’re as worthless as a bug. No refusal is stopping him from declaring his observations. At this hour, self-control has thrown itself out the window — exhaustion plagues him just as much as your naivety, “Jeonghan had this plan. Everyone knew about it. He was growing tired of you and Jihoon tiptoeing around each other so he figured that if he set you up on a date, it’d push one of you to confess. ‘Jealousy makes the heart grow fonder,’ he said, and he stuck by it even though I told him that isn’t the expression.”

You stare at him in shock. Surprise rattles your bones and yet all you manage to say is, “Why are you telling me this?”

Wonwoo scoffs. “Because it didn’t work, so I’m putting matters into my own hands,” he inhales. For a moment, you swear he’s about to say something meaningful and deep, but instead he grinds out a comment that drips with chagrin. “Jihoon like you, you idiot.”

Blinking, you retort, “How do you know that? You barely know him.”

“It’s extremely obvious. It surprises me that you haven’t noticed it,” he crosses his arms over his chest. “He looks at you like he’s at the Louvre staring at the Mona fucking Lisa. He’s in amazement every time he’s with you. How could you not notice that?” Before you can jump to deny Wonwoo’s remarks, he sighs, “I’m right about this, Y/N. Ask anyone. Text Soonyoung or Jun right now and they’ll tell you.”

Something flickers in your eyes. Uncertainty. Wonwoo deflates.

“Trust me. I mean, would I ever lie to you about something like this?”

He wouldn’t. Wonwoo never lies in the first place, and when he does it’s easy to tell.

You sigh. “You’re certain?”

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow and squeezes your shoulder before standing up. He’s on his way to his bedroom when he says, “There’s no doubt about it.”

► woozi is currently listening to … The Only Exception, Paramore 💿 Brand New Eyes

Jihoon is running on little to no sleep.

He’s working the opening shift again, something his iPhone delightfully reminds him about at seven A.M., forcing him to ignore the painful crick in his neck he received from falling asleep face-down on his desk. His uniform isn’t even on properly — his light grey shirt, which is supposed to be tucked into his pants, hangs at mid-thigh, too big for his figure. He wonders if he somehow accidentally switched shirts with Jun.

His brain isn’t working, but he somehow manages to drag himself out of the house and walks the five-minute journey from his apartment to the coffee shop. Once he’s across the street, he digs through his bag to find the keys. The task takes him too long — and after two minutes he realizes that the keys were in his pocket the entire time.

God. He is never sleeping at four A.M. ever again.

When he reaches the shop, he expects it to be empty. They’re closed, after all, but a loiterer is sitting outside the locked door. Jihoon has to rub his eyes harshly in order to be completely sure that he isn’t seeing things.

You stand when you see Jihoon approach, nervous and jittery. He stops slowly, suspicion growing when you make no move to greet him. He spots the dark circles under your eyes immediately, but unlike him, energy courses through you. You’re rocking back and forth on the heels of your feet and shaking your hands in anticipation. For a moment, Jihoon thinks he imagined your signs of sleep deprivation.

“Um… We’re not open yet.”

“I know. I just needed to talk to you.”

“Now?” he asks incredulously. Not that he’s not happy to see you (he’s always happy to see you), he’s just surprised. He knows for a fact you don’t have any classes (while you studied his schedule, he studied yours) so he can’t come up with a reason why you’re here. “But it’s so early.”

You follow him into the shop once he’s unlocked the door. “It couldn’t wait.”

He gives you a confused look over his shoulder. “Is everything OK?”

“Yeah, I… I was just told this crazy thing yesterday.”

That’s not what Jihoon thought you would say. “Uh… OK?” he questions, voice rising a pitch at his confusion. You find it charming, hence the small smile on your face, but the sight of it causes embarrassment to colour his cheeks. “That’s nice, I guess. What was it?”

You surprise both him and yourself when you blurt out, “Wonwoo told me you like me.”

“What?”

“He told me everyone knew,” you continue as Jihoon stammers. Panic flashes across his face and he searches his brain for believable excuses. Anything to dismiss the accusations. “And that all of our friends are, apparently, tired of us tiptoeing around each other. Jeonghan was scheming behind our backs, too.”

It seems the only words Jihoon can say are, “What?”

“He set me up on that date with Ian to make you jealous. Or to make me confess. I don’t know. The details are blurry,” you say. The roles have been reversed — Jihoon’s previous low-energy behaviour is replaced with your frantic one, while you seem to be a whole lot calmer now that you’ve gotten some things off your chest. “That’s not the point. The point is you like me.”

“Wha—?”

“I thought about it last night,” you explain. “I thought about everything. When I was here a few weeks ago, Soonyoung told me that you’re different around me. At first, I didn’t understand what he was getting at, but now I do, and it’s crazy that it took me so long because, now that I think about it, he was not subtle about it at all—”

“Y/N—”

“—and then I thought about your song. And, like, I don’t want to sound like a narcissistic asshole right now, but I… I think it’s about me, right?” Hope tints your words. “All those lyrics about someone unexpectedly coming into your life and spinning your world on its axis… I know I sound full of myself, but in my head, all of it makes sense. In my head, the puzzle pieces fit.”

The silence is deafening. And you aren’t very patient.

“So?”

Jihoon gulps. “So what?”

“Am I right?”

The hope radiating off of you somehow infects him. He is high on happiness and astonishment when he says, “Yes.”

The next few seconds are fuzzy, and Jihoon isn’t sure who initiates the kiss first. But that detail isn’t important to him — he’s too focused on the way you taste like orange juice and toothpaste and how your hands settle on his neck. The touch of your fingers against his skin sends jolts through his entire body. Caffeine couldn’t have woken him up like this.

When you pull away, you’re grinning. Jihoon is sure that the entire world just got brighter.

You surprise him again when you cheekily say, “Does this mean I get to pick the music that plays here now?”

Jihoon tilts his head back as his laughter bounces off the walls. He doesn’t think he’s smiled this wide in years. “Are you seriously asking me about this now?”

“Well, duh,” you’re playing with the hair at the back of his neck when you suggest, “I’m thinking we play Doja Cat. Something from Planet Her. Or maybe some overplayed pop song you always hear on the radio.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes playfully. “Fine.”

Your eyes widen. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he dusts off some lint on your shoulder when he adds, “I guess I gotta make exceptions for my girlfriend, right?”

► woozi is currently listening to … Kiss Me More (feat. SZA), Doja Cat 💿 Planet Her

“So you’re telling me that if I had just gotten you to fall in love with me, you would’ve given me permission to control the music?”

“What? Soonyoung, what are you talking about?”

“Let the man speak, Jihoon, he’s got a point.”

“No, Jun, he absolutely does not.”

“Aw, Soon, look. He’s blushing!”

“Dude, you’re so red. How whipped are you for Y/N? We only mentioned them once.”

“Please go back to work and leave me alone.”

© all rights reserved dkfile, 2022

[mmmmducks]

Ducktales for the ask fandom thing

Blorbo- a surprise to no one, Louie. Lives in my head rent free. Huey and Dewey are a close second but Louie takes the crown. I think he’s a little more complex than the other two. He’s the schemer, the charisma, the negotiator. He feeds his self-serving side more and lays around. And, of course, I see myself in him. I see myself in all three of them. But again, because I see him as more complex, he wins my favoritism.

Scrunkly- okay not to put the same character twice but it’s still Louie. Now Louie is not baby in the sense that he “can do no wrong”. Obviously he can, as we have seen. This comes back to complexity I keep talking about. Louie is quite literally baby. He’s the youngest brother and possibly the youngest member of the Duck family, excluding May and June which are kinda a weird situation. So being the youngest, he exhibits a lot of behaviors associated with the youngest. He’s emotional, he scares easily, he wants to be spoiled. It reminds you that, as confident and calculated as he may seem, he’s still a kid. A fragile one in that.

Scrimblo Bimblo- Lou- I’m just kidding. I’m not sure if he’s underrated, but Lil’ Bulb. Dude does a lot! He’s also fiercely protective of Gyro and gets mad whenever Gyro’s insulted. Like it’s in his programming to think of Gyro as his father, which also reflects on Gyro. I’m not sure if this is in Lil’ Bulb’s programming, but Gyro refers to Boyd as Lil’ Bulb’s brother. Therefore I think Lil’ Bulb thinks of Boyd as a brother :)

Glup Shitto- the employees of Glomgold from Escape To/From Atlantis! They were so great. Gabby McStabberson was raised by warrior monks who spoke only the language of the blade? How cool is that? Also she listened to Donald rambling about his family and answered his question about her family. Hack and Slash Smashnikov had the great quote of “But I thought employees were greatest treasure of all”. 10/10 characters we never saw again.

Poor Little Meow Meow- I would say Magica. I like her chaotic attitude. Very Bill-Cipher-esque. However, I will never forgive her for her treatment of Lena. I consider it abuse. Lena didn’t deserve any of it.

Horse Plinko- Louie. I’m sorry- IM SORRY. Depending on who you are as a person, you either know, or you’re completely baffled. I’m one of those people who say “Look a character I absolutely love! How can I torment them physically and emotionally?”. Especially with a character you relate to, it’s really easy to project yourself on to them. Louie also has many wounds that aren’t really explored in the show. At least, not fully addressed. For example, personally, I don’t think he’s really lazy. He puts a lot of work into things he thinks are important, Louie inc., Finding Scrooge’s Dime. I think he prefers to do nothing because he thinks he’s bad a everything, so what’s the point? It makes sense why when he finally finds something he’s good at, he clings on to it for dear life. Without it, he has no purpose. He’s not good at adventuring, which sucks when you’re part of a family of adventurers. He doesn’t belong. Despite portraying himself as confident, he isn’t. He’s just acting, and god we all know he can be convincing. In episodes like The Most Dangerous Game…Night!, Louie’s Eleven!, and Glomtales!, we see this facade crack. We see just how desperate to prove himself and how unsure of himself he can be.

Ebby Deeby- I’ve been going back and forth between Lunarius because THE AUDACITY and Doofus Drake because Doofus Drake. I think Doofus Drake wins. It could be the fact he’s my comfort character’s enemy, but I think what bothers me the most is the fact that he deliberately goes out of his way to make people uncomfortable. Like Lunarius backstabbed Della and targeted her family, but he didn’t SNIFF HER FEATHERS, WHISPER IN HER EAR, AND LICK HER FACE. That is a different kind of evil that resides at the very bottom of hell.

[2dmenenthusiast]

Grounded - Levi Ackerman x Reader

I had this whole thing typed out but it all got deleted cuz im an idiot so all I’ll say is that writing for Levi is hella difficicult, I hate the ending, and I hope you all enjoy. also yes there is a line from TWD in here but it fit so perfectly and it was too good to pass up okay? and I gave Hange they/them pronouns btw

(also one of my favorite fanfic writers @phen0l​ followed me and uhh I just wanna say that I’m honored?? They write amazing Levi fics and fics for other fandoms, so make sure to go check them out)

Summary: The Scouts are getting ready for the 57th expedition outside the walls, and you can’t help but let Levi know how worried you feel about the possible outcome of the mission

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings/other info: swearing, angst, death, spoilers for AOT season 1, reader has possible anxiety, reader is kept gender nuetral

No matter how many times you face them, no matter how many times you find yourself suspended in mid-air right over their gaping mouths, ready to swallow you whole, you will always have nightmares about that one fateful day in Shiganshina. The day the Colossal Titan kicked in Wall Maria and let his friends feast on the people in your district. Your friends, family, all destined to be one thing at that moment. Titan fodder. You still wonder how you made it out sometimes. How through all the commotion, a titan didn’t target you and scoop you into its mouth, effectively sealing your fate just like everyone around you. You chalked it up to luck at first before telling yourself that was bullshit. Luck didn’t have anything to do with it. Shit just happens, and there’s nothing you can do about it besides roll with the punches and try your best to survive.

The sight of your sister and father being eaten by those beasts was permanently engraved behind your eyelids, seeing flashes of their thrashing, screaming bodies whenever you close your eyes to go to sleep. In those moments, you always wondered why you survived rather than them. Your sister… she was the sweetest little thing, lighting up a room whenever she smiled and constantly greeting you at the door with a hug whenever you came back from shopping in town. You swore her laugh was all you needed to take you right out of a bad mood, reminding you that things weren’t so bad if you had someone so full of joy in your life. And your father, while he was stubborn, he made sure to take care of his family the best he could, and you were forever grateful for that. He raised you to be strong and rely on yourself because in the end, the only person you truly had on your side was you.

No one really knew about your past. Well, besides your superiors who needed to know, but other than them, your fellow cadets knew the bare minimum about your private life. Although, when they found out you were from Shiganshina, they all just automatically assumed you suffered a great loss of some kind, whether it be your family or your home. In your case, it was both. Of course, you were close with some of the other soldiers. Eld and Petra were people you considered to be good friends with, along with the rest of your captain’s squad. Though, that didn’t stop you from wanting to deck Oluo in the face whenever he got too cocky, throwing his arm around your shoulders during lunch before immediately removing it when you would elbow him in the ribs.

“Jeez, Oluo. You think you’d learn by now. What is this, the fifth, sixth time?” Petra asked, pushing a stray hand of hair behind her ear.

“Seventh,” you chimed as you brought a spoonful of soup up to your mouth.

“Aw, you’ve been keeping count. That must mean you actually like me.”

You raised an eyebrow as you looked over at him, placing the spoon back in your bowl before licking the remaining soup off of your lips. “You know this food is still steaming. Don’t make me throw it at your old ass face.”

He let out a noise of protest while the rest of the table laughed, and you snickered to yourself before shifting your gaze to meet Levi’s, his steely eyes almost piercing through you before he looked down into his cup and tuned back into the conversation his commander and squad leader Hange were having, watching as the dark liquid swirled around.

You always knew Levi to be a man of few words, but a strong sense of purpose. He wasn’t one to waste time on trivial things, always wanting to get straight to the point. He didn’t seem to be the type to waste time on feelings either, but you guessed it wasn’t any of your business. You knew he felt things. Experienced emotions and all that. You’d be stupid to think he didn’t. During training, when he’d survey your group to see how things were going, there would always be gossip when he left, your peers saying how he was cold and emotionless, but you disagreed. You had already heard the rumors of the captain being some type of underground gangster at that point, so when you really thought about it, it wasn’t unusual or weird for him to act the way he did. Something, someone, had made him that way, and that was okay. Something had affected all of you too. The world you all lived in didn’t have the time to spare you from grief or trauma.

“Cadet l/n.”

You jumped slightly at the sudden mention of your name, lifting your head to see your captain entering the mess hall with a signature cup of tea in his hand, and you gave him a lazy smile before looking back down at your own cup, the liquid having gone cold over the time you had been sitting there. Levi didn’t reprimand you for not saluting him, just silently walked over and occupied the seat across from you, looking at you with that stern gaze of his.

“You should be asleep. I won’t make training any easier for you tomorrow just because you’re tired.”

“This isn’t unusual for me, captain. Just needed something else to look at that wasn’t my bedroom wall,” you said, your voice quiet.

He slightly tilted his head as he studied you, lifting his hand to gesture around the room. “And you thought an empty mess hall would be better?”

You let out a scoff, meeting his eyes for a moment before sipping at your drink and immediately grimacing at the taste of it. “It’s better than the alternative. For now, at least.”

He didn’t respond at first, simply staring off into the distance as he let your words sink in before setting down his cup with a soft ‘clink.’ You thought that maybe if you weren’t so over everything at the moment, you wouldn’t be acting so casual with your superior, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Hopefully this wouldn’t bite you in the ass later

“You’re not the first one here to experience nightmares, you know.”

“Oh, so you have this talk with all of the cadets in the middle of the night?”

“No,” he answered simply, taking another sip of his drink.

You didn’t know why, but that simple interaction had been the best one you had with another person in months. Sure, you loved the company of your friends, but talking to Levi was just so… different. Almost liberating in a way. There were things you had told him that you never told anyone else during your late-night meetings, and it got to the point where you had found yourself looking forward to talking with him. Because you knew that behind his gaze was a man that felt so much, and you knew what that was like.

“You know… I only really made it out because they were too busy eating my family.”

Levi paused at that, eyebrows slightly raised as he looked at you over his cup that was pressed to his lips. He didn’t speak at first, taking his time as he leisurely drank his tea, and you could practically feel the depth of the silence looming over the both of you like it was its own presence.

“Shit, maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth shut,” you thought, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you anxiously waited for Levi’s response.

You didn’t want him to pity you. That was never your intention. You guessed you just.... wanted someone to know what you were thinking and feeling, tired of constantly keeping it to yourself. If you got eaten by a titan one day, you’d at least want someone to know who you were. Who you really were.

“Sorry, I um…” you looked around at everything besides the man sitting in front of you, trying to find a way to fill the silence. “You probably don’t wanna hear some sob story from some cadet, I-”

“‘Some cadet?’”

Your eyes snapped over to his, mouth slightly agape before swallowing thickly. “I… Well I mean-”

“Talking like that about yourself isn’t going to change anything or make anything better. You’re not just some cadet, and I’m even willing to say that you’re not as bad as some of the shit-for-brains we have here. You came here to do the same thing everyone else is here to do. Fight for humanity. Whether your end goal is selfish or to try and relieve yourself of some guilt from the past, it doesn’t matter.” He leaned closer to you, elbows placed on the table as he pinned you with his gaze. “Every life sacrificed out there matters. So does yours, even if you don’t think it does. And it’s our job to make sure those soldiers don’t die in vain. 

You didn’t know what to say. No one had ever really talked to you like this, so how could you know how to respond? Luckily, he started speaking again so that you didn’t have to.

“Your family…  it’s a shame what happened to them. What you had to go through. But, their deaths will be avenged, and I will make damn sure of it.”

That night was the first time you cried in probably months. You thought Levi would think of you as some pathetic little soldier, trying to gain the sympathy of their captain, but he didn’t. He just placed a hand over yours and let you cry, and you remembered how you were sort of surprised by how warm he was. You remember that talk like it was only yesterday when in reality it was years ago. You and Levi didn’t talk as much as you used to, considering the fact that he was constantly busy with helping the titan shifter cadet, Eren Jaeger, and you had been recruited to squad leader, so you had your own people to deal with. But that didn’t mean you two never spoke. Whenever your paths crossed, you’d make sure to give him a little greeting, whether it was a simple wave or a “hello.” And occasionally, when you couldn’t sleep and you’d come down to the mess hall, he was there, a steaming cup of tea in front of him, and you’d talk for a few hours until you both agreed it was time to try and catch some sleep.

Now, the soldiers were getting ready for the 57th expedition, and you couldn’t shake off the bad feeling you got whenever you thought about it. Of course, every expedition was dangerous. More often than not, the scouts would come back from outside the walls with more than a few dead, and on bad days, their numbers would be cut in half. Eren was making progress, and you hoped he would be useful, but a part of you was still doubtful.

“I’m worried,” you stated, arms crossed over your chest as you stood next to Levi, watching the cadets train vigorously.

“You always worry.”

You glanced over at the man and huffed, seeing him completely focused on the soldiers before you lightly kicked your boot into the dirt. “I guess that’s kinda my thing, isn’t it? Can you blame me though? We’ve seen what Eren can do, but… he hardly has it under control. And this isn’t exactly a normal expedition.”

“Things will turn out the way they turn out. There’s nothing we can do except make sure things go the best way they can.”

You sighed. Levi was able to reassure you most of the time, but other times he did nothing to calm your nerves. It wasn’t his job to, though. His responses were straightforward, and if you didn’t like it then that was just something you had to deal with.

“Ever the optimist, Levi,” you said, a sarcastic lilt to your voice, and you smiled when he glanced at you before shaking his head.

“Hey! You’re not here to slack off. Pick up the pace before I make you all train through dinner.”

You were used to Levi giving out orders. Hell, he gave them to you all the time, but his commanding voice sent shivers down your spine at that moment.

“He’s a freaking tiny tyrant, I swear,” you heard one of the cadets mutter, and you couldn’t help but snicker as you turned your head away from your captain, covering your mouth to conceal your smile.

“Find something funny?”

You cleared your throat as you shook your head, turning to Levi with a grin and shrugging your shoulders. “Not at all, captain. Just have a little cough is all.”

“Mhm. Maybe I should make you run it off then.”

“Aw c’mon, Levi. Have a little laugh. We all need one once in a while, especially considering the day you’re all going to have tomorrow.”

He just let out a hum, and your smile slowly dropped as you looked out at the horizon, the sky painted in beautiful strokes of orange and pink. Yes, you were right, you all needed those small moments of joy in this fucked up world you lived in, but you weren’t stupid enough to believe that those moments could last forever. Sometimes you just had to face the reality of the situation you were all in, and you couldn’t help the feeling of dread that filled you as you thought about tomorrow.

“You’re overthinking. Stop it,” Levi said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You shook your head and gave him a smile that felt bittersweet. “I can’t help it sometimes. I wish I could go with you.”

“We have enough force and skill in the recruits we have for the expedition. It would be a waste to put you and your squad into it and leave you hanging with no real job to do.”

“No real job? We’d be doing what everyone else would be; killing titans and keeping Eren safe! How would we not be useful? You know for a fact that my squad and I are plenty skilled and-”

“We can’t risk more sacrifices by putting you out there. We have enough people to hopefully accomplish what we need to.”

“Then why wasn’t my squad a first choice to go beyond the walls this time? We’re more capable than most of the people here and you know it. Maybe if I talk to Erwin he’ll-”

“This wasn’t just Erwin’s decision, it was mine. And your insubordination is starting to get irritating, so I suggest you take a walk.”

You looked at Levi with widened eyes, disbelief clear on your face, and you swallowed down what you actually wanted to say before letting out a deep breath.

“Levi, I-”

“Take a walk, l/n. I don’t wanna hear about it.”

You simply blinked at him a few times, clearly upset by the way he addressed you, before letting out a scoff and walking away, your jaw and fists clenched tightly. Yes, maybe you were being a bit childish, but you refused to acknowledge that when you felt so pissed at the moment.

“I mean, how can he just treat me like that?! Just completely dismiss me and not even give me a reasonable answer! He’s so… He’s just so… Ugh!”

You groaned and rested your head in your hands as you sat across from Hange, your friend looking at you with raised brows as they idly tapped their fingers against the table.

“I mean, he is your superior, y/n.”

“But that’s not the point! Like, yeah okay, I know he’s my captain and all that, but… We’ve always just been casual with each other. We’ve never seen each other as our ranks. I still respect him and follow his orders when he gives them but…” You let out a noise of frustration and slammed your fists down on the table. “That doesn’t give him the right to just pull out the superiority card whenever it benefits him!”

Hange blinked a few times before letting out a sigh, brushing a piece of stray hair out of their face as they leaned back in their chair, shrugging their shoulders. “I mean, he said it was also his decision, right? So maybe… he’s trying to keep you safe?”

Your eyes widened almost comically, feeling heat travel up the back of your neck at the mention of the possibility that Levi was concerned about your safety. “I-I… I mean he- um.”

“Oh my, are you getting flustered, y/n? Does the thought of Levi caring about you make your heart race?” Hange asked, a playful smirk on their face.

“Stop! For the love of everything, please stop,” you whined, waving your hands in front of you as you tried to ignore how embarrassed you felt. 

Hange just laughed at you, continuing to poke fun until you threatened to not be a part of their crazy experiments anymore, to which they quickly backed off. You thought talking with Hange might make you feel better, but hours later when you were pacing in front of the door to Levi’s office, you still wanted to rip your hair out as you thought of what to say to him. Letting out a huff and straightening your posture, trying to gain some nerve, you raised your hand to knock on the door, only for it to suddenly open and reveal your captain, his cravat having come off and the first few buttons of his shirt undone.

“Your incessant pacing is driving me up the wall. What do you want?”

Oh, so he had heard you. You avoided eye-contact, reaching a hand up to rub at the back of your neck before clearing your throat to try and relieve some of the awkwardness you felt.

“Um… can I come in?”

You both stood there for a moment, Levi’s gaze traveling up and down your body before stepping aside to let you in, and you gave him a small, appreciative nod as you walked inside his office. The tension in your shoulders was almost painful, your whole body almost stiff as Levi walked in front of you to sit on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his chest. You didn’t know why you felt so nervous. It was only Levi, a man you had come to know for years. And while you didn’t know everything about him, you still considered you both to be somewhat close. So why were you feeling so weird right now?

“Uh… I wanted to talk about this afternoon,” you said, mindlessly fidgeting with your fingers.

Levi raised a curious brow, letting you linger in silence for a moment before letting out a soft hum. “Not sure it’s something worth talking about.”

Lips curving into a small frown, you mimicked his posture and crossed your arms, shifting your weight onto one foot. “Well, I think we left some things… unaddressed back there, and I wanna talk about it.”

He didn’t say anything, and you were starting to get pissed, your fuse short enough as it is. Your frustration finally hit its peak when he grabbed the cup of tea next to him and wordlessly took a sip, and you swore at that moment you wanted to take the cup and smash it against his head.

“Goddammit, would you stop drinking your stupid fucking tea and listen to me?!” you yelled, and you could see a flash of shock in his eyes at your outburst before he glared at you, setting his cup down.

“You wanna repeat that?”

“Oh, don’t get all fucking ‘Captain Levi’ on me. You know exactly what all of this is about. You didn’t even try to give me a reasonable explanation earlier, and I feel like I deserve one.”

“Do you? You think you deserve something for acting like this?”

“I’m not a child!”

“But I am your superior, which you seem to forget quite a lot.”

“That is such bullshit! Since when have you given two fucks about ranks when it comes to us? I follow your orders when I have to, not when you use your superiority when it’s most convenient for you.” 

Levi clicked his tongue as he got off of his desk, rounding it to sit in his chair, and your fists were clenched so tightly it was becoming almost painful, your nails digging into your palms.

“You know, you say you’re not a child, yet you constantly act like one. Throwing a fit when you don’t get your way. Sometimes I wonder why Erwin made the decision to promote you.”

Your eyes widened as you softly gasped, questioning if you heard Levi correctly, but you know you did. There was no mistaking it. You always believed that Levi knew that you were capable, that you could protect yourself. But now he made you question if he really thought those things. Did he even respect you as a soldier? After countless nights of spilling your guts to him and him reassuring you… did he think of you as just some simple-minded cadet? You felt like your heart was in your throat and tears were threatening to spill, but you just swallowed everything down and turned your head away.

“Good luck on the expedition tomorrow,” you muttered, and you were quick to leave his office and rush back to your room, tears spilling down your cheeks.

______________

When it came time for your fellow scouts to leave for the expedition in the morning, you were a bit reluctant to watch them, knowing that you’d end up automatically spotting Levi in the crowd, and the petty side of you wanted to ignore him at all costs. However, the rational side of you remembered that it wasn’t just Levi going out there, it was other soldiers as well, most of them you knew personally, and you’d be damned if you didn’t give them a proper send-off, knowing the likelihood of some of them not making it back. So, you dragged yourself out of bed and made yourself presentable, slipping on your jacket as you stepped out of your room.

“Y/n!”

You turned at the shout of your name, seeing Hange waving excitedly at you as they jogged down the hall, slowing down to walk with you.

“So? How did it go with Captain Shorty?”

You groaned and rolled your eyes, bringing your fingers up to rub at your temples to try and cease the headache you already felt coming. “I don’t even wanna talk about it.”

“Dang, that bad, huh?” Hange grimaced.

“You have no idea. I just wanna forget about it”

Hange didn’t say anything more on the topic after that, simply talking about random things with you as you walked outside to the stables. You had a bad feeling settled in your stomach ever since you woke up, but as more time passed it just got worse.

“Hange,” you muttered, the squad leader turning towards you with raised eyebrows as they held the reins to their horse.

“Uh… Please be careful out there, okay?”

Hange looked shocked for a moment before their mouth split into a wide grin, and they quickly pulled you into a tight hug, which you immediately reciprocated.

“Aw, y/n! Don’t worry about me, I’m always careful!”

“That is such a lie, but I’ll believe you anyway,” you chuckled.

Pulling away from each other, Hange mounted their horse and joined the rest of the scouts at the gate, and you went to stand at the sidelines with the rest of your peers to watch them. Your eyes immediately caught sight of a head of familiar black hair, and you felt your heart grow heavy and your chest tighten, almost wishing he would feel your gaze and look over at you. But he didn’t and with Erwin’s war-cry, they charged through the open gate, the horses kicking up dirt and dust, and you only got a glance at their retreating figures before the gate was closed again.

______________

Every minute that ticked by felt like hours. You didn’t know how long they would be gone, the time usually spent outside the walls ranging from a few hours to a few days. You hoped it was the former, knowing that the longer they were out there, the more likely they were to get killed. You knew your comrades were skilled, having been outside the walls with them and seen their skills up close, but that didn’t stop you from worrying. Now with the Eren being a titan shifter and a traitor in your midst, anything could happen.

You almost didn’t acknowledge the shouting of your fellow soldiers that afternoon, too focused on taking care of some of the horses in the stables. But when you finally heard it, you quickly stopped what you were doing and ran to the gate. They were back. Adrenaline coursed through you as your heart pounded like a drum against your chest, and when you finally caught sight of the returning scouts, you immediately stopped in your tracks. The look on their faces was one of defeat, and you could already tell just by looking at them that not all of them made it back. When you spotted Hange, you felt some relief wash over you and you quickly made your way over to them, walking beside their horse.

“Hange, what happened? Was the mission successful?”

Hange didn’t answer, a blank look on their face, which was identical to the expressions on all of the other soldier’s faces. It was a bad day, that much you could tell, and you made brief eye-contact with Levi before looking for your friends. Only… you couldn’t see them. Turning around frantically, you spotted Eren laying in a cart and ran over, jumping in beside him as you glanced at his hand clutching Mikasa’s. He looked even worse than everyone else did. No, loss was never easy, but Eren was just a kid, and experiencing so much of it at his age must have been devastating for him, especially when he was so passionate about saving humanity.

“Eren, tell me what happened. Who… Who did we lose?” you asked.

You didn’t even know if you wanted to know the answer, seeing Eren so broken and torn up already told you that what happened out there wasn’t good, but when was it ever? The boy had tears falling down his cheeks, trying to keep his sobs quiet, and Mikasa just looked at you with narrowed eyes.

“Y/n, I don’t think right now’s a good time-”

“Please!” You gripped the cape that was laid over top of Eren, eyes focussed on the blue and white wings embroidered on the back and you sniffled as you tried to hold back the tears that were desperately trying to come out. “I… I need to know. Please, Eren…”

He stared at you with wide eyes, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed before letting out a shuddered breath. “They… We were after the female titan and she… I couldn’t save them, y/n. They died protecting me!”

Your face seemed void of any emotion as Eren’s words sunk in, piercing your heart like a million knives, and all you did was nod silently before jumping out of the cart, your mind going on autopilot as you walked. You didn’t need him to explain who he was talking about for you to already put the pieces together. Levi had told you that Eren was going to be a part of his squad so that he could keep an eye on him, and his squad was in charge of protecting him. He had become humanity’s number one asset after all. Civilians were shouting at all of you, cursing at you and hurling insults at your face. You weren’t even one of the scouts on the expedition, but that didn’t matter. As long as you wore the wings of freedom on your back, you were a bastard like the rest of them. No more, no less.

You had stumbled too close to the crowd, too preoccupied with your thoughts to even notice, until a large man gripped your shoulders and pushed you in front of the horses, your body landing harshly in the dirt as some of the people laughed at you. You heard someone shout your name, but it sounded distant to you, everyone’s drowned out underneath the roaring of your thoughts. You shifted yourself onto your hands and knees, only to look up and see Hange crouched down in front of you, a concerned expression on their face.

“Y/n, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

There was a ringing in your ears as you looked at them, trying desperately to just get a grip.

The dirt under my hands, the dryness in my mouth, the shouts of the citizens, the musty smell of the horses… Hange right in front of me.

“I’m fine. I… I’m fine.”

The single tear slipping down your cheek went unnoticed by you, but it was one of the things that let Hange know that you were lying. That you weren’t fine. Reaching out to wipe the tear away Hange shook their head.

“Y/n-”

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

Giving Hange a tight-lipped smile, you picked yourself up off the ground and made your way back to the Scout’s headquarters, feeling everyone’s eyes on your back, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Levi was watching you too.

______________

You didn’t keep track of how long you cried that day, keeping yourself locked in your room and sobbing until your body physically couldn’t produce any more tears. The last time you cried this much was when your family died, same thing could be said when you thought about the last time you felt this way. Like all hope was lost. You found yourself questioning what the point of all of this was for a moment before you quickly slapped yourself out of that thought. You knew why you had to do this, why the Survey Corps was important. But shit, all this loss? You didn’t know how much more you could take. Especially if days like today became more frequent.

Then you got to thinking about Levi and the stupid argument you had yesterday. At the time, you felt like your feelings were justified, and maybe they were, but now you felt like a complete idiot for arguing with him, especially the day before an expedition where it was one hundred percent possible that he could’ve died out there. The thought of your last interaction being some petty argument made more tears fall, and you gripped the sheets of your bed so tightly that you thought they might rip. Did he even want to speak to you now? Maybe he realized that you were just some immature little soldier and wanted nothing to do with you.

No, you couldn’t accept that. You wouldn’t. Standing from your bed, you harshly wiped at your eyes and sniffled, trying to look like you weren’t crying for hours on end - even though it was pointless, you knew Levi would be able to tell immediately - and exited your room to start making your way to Levi’s office. Your nerves were kicked into high gear, but you refused to let this man intimidate you. You were going to let him know how you felt and he was going to listen. Of course, your confidence immediately deflated when you found yourself standing in front of his door, but you swallowed down your nerves and knocked, taking a deep breath.

Levi’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door, telling you to come in, and you let out a small huff as you gripped the doorknob and let yourself in. He didn’t even look up from the paperwork in front of him when you walked in, and as the door closed behind you and you moved to stand in front of his desk with your hands held behind your back, you lightly cleared your throat to get his attention. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, and you could feel yourself shrink under his gaze. There was no doubt he saw what happened earlier today when they came back, and from the way he was examining you, you knew he could easily tell that you had been crying.

“Did you need me?” he asked, and you sharply inhaled at the sound of his voice. It felt like forever since he talked to you last, and hearing him speak made your stomach do flips.

“Uh… I don’t know, honestly. I didn’t really practice what I was going to say before I came in here.”

He raised a brow at you. “‘Practice?’”

“I mean, it’s kinda hard to talk to you. Not that that’s a bad thing, it’s just… Ah shit, I don’t know. It might just be me. I’m not the best at articulating, you know?”

He hummed and grabbed his cup as you let out a sigh, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk and leaning your elbows on your knees, bouncing your leg. Taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you wordlessly gazed at him for a moment, a made-up image of his death flashing in your mind before you shook your head and ran your hand down your face.

“Look, um… I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for yesterday. For questioning your judgment when I should’ve just dealt with it. You’re my superior and I disrespected you so… Again, I’m sorry.”

Silence fell between you for a moment before he let out a sigh, setting down his cup before leaning his chin against his propped up hand. “Don’t apologize. You were right.”

Your eyes widened. Did you hear that correctly? “Uh, I’m sorry?”

Getting up from his seat, he rounded his desk to stand in front of you, and you were even more confused. You swore he would’ve been done with you by now.

“You said you and your squad were more than capable of handling the mission. You were right. Or at least, you were right at the time. The female titan would’ve wiped us all out if she wanted to, just like she did my squad. I don’t doubt that if you went after her, you’d be dead right now too.”

You stiffened slightly at his words, fingers gripping your knees as you let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in. “Oh.”

“As captain, I’m supposed to remain unbiased. My decisions should be based on the greater good of humanity and my comrades. If my judgment is wrong, then that’s something I have to live with. Making my squad protect Eren was my decision, and they died.” He let out a long breath. “When Erwin decided to not bring you on the expedition, I was opposed to it at first. I knew that you and your squad would be able to aid us greatly, but I couldn’t sway him. However, now that I think about it, I’m glad you weren’t there.”

You were at a loss for words. When Hange had joked the other day about Levi caring about you, you didn’t take it seriously. But now that you were hearing all of this… Did he care for you? Or was it just your wishful thinking that was causing you to interpret things wrong? Slowly standing up, you briefly met his gaze before walking over to the window and looking out at the night sky, the sun having gone down a while ago, and you wrapped your arms around yourself as you tried to piece together what you wanted to say to him.

“Even if you think I was right, I’m still sorry. I don’t like arguing, especially with you. And the fact that you had to go on an expedition the next day…” You swallowed thickly. “I was scared. I know you say that there’s no use regretting the decisions we’ve made, but if you died out there today and a stupid argument was the last interaction we ever had, I would’ve regretted it every day of my life.” You turned to face him, eyes glossing over. “I would’ve beat myself up when I know you’d want me to continue to be strong. But I feel like I can’t do that without you, and I feel so weak and stupid for saying that. For feeling like the only thing that gives me hope in this godforsaken world is you.”

Levi remained silent, not that you expected him to say anything, and you sniffled as you reached up to wipe at your teary eyes before sighing and giving him a sad smile.

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t wanna hear some silly confession. I’ll let you get back to your business,” you said, walking past Levi to get to the door, but you didn’t make it that far when his hand suddenly shot out and gripped your arm, causing you to turn back and look at him.

“Why do you always do that?”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“You never take yourself seriously and act like the people around you don’t either. You’re self-deprecating. You did the same thing when I found you in the mess hall years ago. Why?”

“I… I don’t know, I guess I just get nervous around you.”

“Why?”

Your mouth felt dry suddenly, and your heart was racing as Levi’s grip on your arm tightened and he pulled you closer. “Because… I want to be strong in front of you. I don’t want you to see me as someone immature and incapable, and I’m scared of embarrassing myself in front of you.”

“Did you find your confession embarrassing? Do you want me to forget about it?”

“If you want to.”

“Mm. And what if I don’t?”

You let out a shuddered breath, eyes flitting down to his lips for a moment. “Then what will you do about it?”

Neither of you moved at first, your gaze not leaving one another, and you felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest, it was going so fast. You wondered if Levi was experiencing the same feeling. Wondered if underneath that stoic, calm expression, his blood was pumping in his ears and his pulse was going crazy. You were waiting for him to do something, anything, as he stared at you with an almost challenging look. It made anger flare up in you for some reason, and you clenched your jaw as you narrowed your eyes. 

No, I won’t let this get away from me.

Reaching up, your hand grabbed at his cravat, yanking him forward into an almost desperate kiss that had your mind reeling. His brows were scrunched up, body tense, before finally relaxing, and you could feel him almost melt into you as he brought both of his hands up to hold your face, eagerly responding. Your frustration had been building up ever since your fight, and you felt like you were both letting it all out now, each kiss hungry and rushed, barely able to pull your faces away before one of you was pulling the other one in again.

“Fuck, I can’t stand you sometimes,” you breathed out between kisses, fingers weaving into Levi’s dark locks and lightly tugging, causing him to let out a soft groan against your lips.

“Stop talking.”

You don’t know when the anxiety started bubbling in your stomach or why your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your throat, all you knew was that every sensation was suddenly overwhelming. Levi’s hands, his lips, his breath against your face, it was all too much. You were suddenly pushing him away, tears quickly building up behind your eyes as you panted for breath. Whether it be from the desperateness of your kisses, or the constricting of your chest, you didn’t know. You just knew that everything was suddenly hitting you at once, and you couldn't get a grasp on how to deal with it.

“Y/n…”

Right, Levi was still here, and he looked at you with a hand slightly reached out, waiting for you to meet him halfway. You hesitated, staring at his hand like you were trying to see through it, before eventually grabbing it, and he slowly pulled you into his chest. Your arms were limp at your sides, silent tears streaming down your face as Levi held you.

“They’d be proud of you, y/n. You know that.”

You felt like you had been falling all of your life, nothing to stop you, nothing to hold onto as you plummeted through an endless abyss. But now, as you brought your hands up to grip the back of Levi’s jacket and sobbed into his shoulder, for once, you felt like your feet had finally found the ground.

[bigskydreaming]

My favorite thing (cough bullshit cough cough) is when fics allude to all this stuff Jason holds against Dick but never go into any specifics. While at the same time having no trouble being detailed about other stuff in the fam's history or Bruce in UTRH, but the sec its Jason bitching at Dick it gets real vague. Jason's like oh you know what I'm talking about or don't think I've forgotten, you dick....but we're supposed to just imagine for ourselves what that is. Incheresting.

Me at all the fic writers who are like “Oh so you think Dick was never a fuckhead to Jason huh, well in this essay I will....”

Like here’s the thing, as I’m always saying:

Fanfic? Inherently transformative. You can do whatever you want with it.

So that means that yes, absolutely, if you want? For whatever reason? You CAN write Jason and Dick having this extensive history of Dick being a jerk to Jason and Jason resenting him because of it.

But.

But but but but but.

You have to like, actually WRITE that.

And that’s the part that people just.....don’t do. Instead they rely on just handwaving into existence a backstory that only exists on their say-so, and expect readers to just accept Dick’s characterization here as fact, even though its literally not based on canon OR based on anything they’ve actually provided in story......

Because even in a transformative medium, you have to actually TRANSFORM something to get from Point A to Point B!

You want Dick’s character to be this callous jerk full of regrets because he came to his epiphany of How Not To Be A Jerk too late in life and his siblings are all like well we don’t really have time for you now, you missed your shot bro?

Cool cool.

But you have to TRANSFORM Dick’s character from what he’s ACTUALLY like in canon TO that figure there, and there’s no actual transformation in any of these stories. They just start with it taken as a given that this is the way Dick already is, and expect everyone to just catch up and get on board, despite the fact that if we were to anthropomorphize their fic and ask “hey Siri-fic, show us how you got Dick from Point A to Point B,” the fic would say no because there’s no work to show. It doesn’t exist.

Instead, what we actually get is a characterization of Dick that to most of his fans honestly doesn’t make any sense, and we’re like, wait, why is Dick like this here, and in response we get fics being like *points to this part of canon, says everything you need to know is right in there* and we’re like no we’ve been to that part of canon, what you’re describing is literally just NOT THERE. So again, still, once more with feeling: wait, why is Dick like this here?

And not to be contentious on main, oh wait lol I don’t care, but like......tbh this is a very cheap and lazy form of storytelling. And I don’t actually feel bad for saying that, sorry not sorry, because I feel like writers in this fandom have long been perfectly happy to run with this sorta thing and then hide behind “cant criticize my story, Im doing this for free” to keep people from commenting on how this is an ummm not great approach to taking characters from canon and transforming them into something else. 

Even though its like.....I don’t really care about your singular story enough TO criticize it, I’m perfectly content to x out of it and move on to the next one, but when so damn many of these stories are relying on the same shortcut without a single one of them actually doing any of the transformative work to justify their take, and over and over we’re just expected to go along with this, its like.....umm yeah, I do actually feel that at a certain point its abundantly relevant to point out that this IS a ginormous fucking trend and the trend itself is absolutely deserving of criticism.

And quite frankly, when fics or headcanons RELY on the expectation that people just nod and smile and shh don’t question it every time they come across a depiction of Dick Grayson as just this total thorn in his family’s side......like, “no” is actually a perfectly valid response to that expectation, lmao. Nobody is owed fans of this character just sucking it up and being like nah, this is fine, as everyone continues to run with this ball all while justifying it with handwaving and vague pointing at an ever moving target whenever somebody’s just like....”I’m not even trying to criticize your fic, I’m just wondering what your take on Dick is based on, because I think we’re looking at two entirely different characters here.”

Because like....we are! Lmao. Yeah, different interpretations are a thing, but when the Dick Grayson in question is foundationally based on formative events that literally don’t exist anywhere BUT in the fic writer’s mind because the writer never actually wrote them into the fic and they don’t actually exist anywhere else.....we are effectively at that point talking about two entirely different characters. And its extremely irritating for those of us who want to talk about the one that’s based on actual canon events to be constantly told we’re doing it wrong and just being referred back to the general collective view of how ‘Dick is bad actually, cuz we say so,’ when pressed for specifics. Like, I’ve literally had people post or comment about ficlets I’ve written that show Dick and Jason getting along pre-ADITF, where people are like “aww this is so much better than canon, would’ve been nice if we could’ve had this instead of Dick being such a jerk to Jason.”

I mean....fahlkfhaklfhaklfhklafhklahfalhaf! Y’know?

But I mean. I digress. Probably. I don’t know. What was the question?

[organic-guacamole]

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

oh

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

OH

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋

[drivingsideways]

Hey talk to me about your top three favourite kdrama women. What makes them special? What's a fic you would like to write about any one of them?

Mystery anon! :D What a lovely ask. 

I’m going to cheat a bit and divide my answer into characters I loved a lot, but do not want to write fic about, because I think the canon gives me what I need; and characters that I loved a lot but NEED TO BE RESCUED ZOMG.  (My fic writing impulses are 50% spite and 50% fix-it )

Caveat being that I’ve still watched only maybe a dozen kdramas, so I’m pretty limited in my knowledge!

Characters that I love a lot, but have very zero fic impulses toward:

Han Yeo-jin from Stranger/Secret Forest: What a delight! What an iconique character! Is there anyone like her? NO. LSY-nim gives us a delightfully complex character, and Bae Doona knocks it out of the park in every single scene, so I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I think what makes Yeo-jin special for me is the intrinsic place of empathy that she operates from.  I think “righteous” is a word that often comes with negative connotations (self-righteous, for eg), but I do think she’s one of the most righteous-in-the-good-way characters I’ve watched in kdrama or any drama. I’m tired of stories that portray goodness as “boring” , as unworthy of narrative breadth or depth, and I love that Han Yeo-jin comes to us like a breath of fresh air in our particular dystopian narratives hellscape. She’s good, but never naive. She’s righteous but never cruel in her moral certainties.  I think that LSY nim, in the second season especially, gave Yeo-jin the kind of arc that character deserved when she’s forced to really dig deep into herself to figure out how she’s going to live in the world in the face of a deeply cutting, deeply personal disillusionment, and I’m really hoping for an S3 to see how that plays out further. 

Goo Hae-ryung from Rookie Historian: Ok, I will admit this may be rose tinted glasses view due to this show being my gateway drug into kdrama, but c’mon! She’s a reader! and a Thinker! And loves her wine! She’s plucky! She’s cute! She’s got a wry sense of humour! She’s got principles! She’s got a solid common sense to her that somehow doesn’t get in the way of her dreaming BIG! Oh dear, doesn’t she sound like the Mary-est of Mary Sues? Good for her.gif,  I say! Anyways, Shin Se-kyung is unutterably charming in this (AS IN EVERY SHOW OMG GIRL) and I just have a huge fondness for free-spirited heroines who get to tramp through the narrative changing the world as they do! 

Lee Ji-an from My Ahjussi: I’ve never had my heart broken more OR restored by any single character. IU is *phenomenal * in this, I think she really stepped up to what the script demanded from her. Ji-an’s weariness, her fear and vulnerability, her prickliness, her anger and her bitterness, and how, despite everything, she fights : GOD. Just. Again, what I love about the writing in this show is that it’s deeply empathetic without being cloyingly sentimental. I think a less, hmm, imaginative writer/PD might have focused on the Lee Ji-an the victim, and while the show definitely tells you in no uncertain terms that she is one,  of both circumstances and a cruel society, I think it refuses to take away her agency over her own life.(Lee Ji-an when we meet her is too busy hanging onto life by tooth and claw to indulge in self-pity, but we also see the toll it takes on her not to be able to say “this is too heavy a burden for me to carry myself and it isn’t my fault”; the show I think approaches Dong-hoon from the opposite side- his emotional isolation is partly a result of his own choices, but he doesn’t see it yet, and so his journey is also about letting people in and sharing the burden, but also recovering his own agency over his life. It’s an interestingly gender-bent arc, which is one of the things I love about this show. )

Ok, can I please add one more?

Hwang Han-joo from Melo is my Nature: She just felt SO real to me. She’s someone who doesn’t have the spectacular brilliance of either Jin-joo or Eun-jung, and struggles with accepting her limitations but not allowing herself to be defeated by them? I love her struggles as a mother, as a working woman in a sexist industry, a woman who’s perhaps having to rethink and reimagine what she wants from romance. I love that she’s a little silly, a lot kind, and an optimist, and just. I just think she’s the bravest of the three, tbh, and I LOVE HER AND I WOULD WATCH A SPIN OFF ABOUT JUST HER (i shouldn’t have faves among the three i know, BUT I DO, IT’S HER, IT’S HER.)

Ok! On to the next section! And I’m going to cheat again because I can’t stop at three. SORRY. NOT SORRY. 

Characters I love and SHOULD write fic for if I weren’t such a tired and lazy bunny:  

Song Sa-hui from Rookie Historian: Oh, girl, girl, GIRL. I love how she fights to snatch her freedom from the jaws of the patriarchy. I love that she unapologetically centers herself while doing that, because she knows that nobody else will.  I love that she’s prickly and calculating. I love that she’s smart and knowledgeable. I am SO HAPPY that she got to carve out a little bit of freedom for herself, even if it also is exile to some degree. She *should * be Emperor Jin’s Prime Minister and steering the ship of state, while also carrying on a tumultous affair with Queen Min Woo-hee, while ALSO commiserating with Emperor Jin about his boyfriend Historian Min Woo-won’s regrettable tendency towards Principles (TM) and masochism-but-not-in-the-fun-way. (This takes up much of his time which is why Song Sa-hui is running the country, of course. It works out well for all concerned, well, except her dad, of course.)

Song Ga-gyeong from Search:WWW: What’s NOT to love about our brilliant, beautiful, emotionally tortured gay icon? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I loved how the show allowed her to be flawed and make bad decisions, and then allowed her to make better decisions and regain control of her life. What I do need to do, of course, is see the CANON LOVE STORY between her and Cha Hyeon through to the end. It must, of course, include at least one baseball game, a lot of tequila and messy beach kisses. 

Oh Ji-hwa from Beyond Evil: Oh boy, this year’s runaway hit cleared the extremely low bar for standard crime/ thriller shows by leaving more than one of its female characters breathing and with all limbs intact, and got called feminist for it BUT it didn’t do justice to any of them in any meaningful way and that never hurt more than in the way they sidelined Kim Shin-rok’s talent by not giving Oh Ji-hwa anything much to do. She’s a tough as nails cop, a loving sister, a devoted but unsentimental friend-and by rights SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE HEROINE OF THIS SHOW. My secret fic fantasy is to rewrite the show entirely by making her , and the two other female characters in non-antagonist roles- Yoo Jae-yi and Im Sun-nyeo- as the central characters, as they investigate a serial killer who targets women.  It’s the only acceptable version of this done-to-death (ha!) genre, I have no idea what the Baeksang jury and tumblr fandom is smoking when they hype the show so much, I want none of it. 

Jung Sun-ah from The Devil Judge: I love her rage, her spite, her passionate defense of women, her style, her sexiness, her rage, her rage, her brilliance, her tenaciousness, her smartness, her clothes, her refusal to hate herself for everything she is and chooses to be, her ambition, her comfort wielding power, her EVERYTHING. Dead, her? NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. Here’s what *really * happened at the end of canon- she gets out of the building by planting that lady-like but still deadly gun against Kang Yo-han’s temple and making him lead her through his own “secret escape route” or whatever the fuck it was the show wanted us to believe. From there on out, it’s all sunshine and beaches, and scheming and waiting for the right moment to strike again-though of course, this time around, she also has to reckon with vigilant, tenacious cop Soo-hyun -another character who REALLY didn’t die for manpain reasons and had the good sense to leave her gay best friend to follow his psychopath boyfriend to Switzerland or wherever it is that star crossed lovers in kdrama land meet up on the regs these days- anyways, Soo-hyun and her are in this catch-me-if-you-can epic transnational honest and cute cop-and-beautiful sexy villain chase and yes, they WILL kiss (and more) AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS. 

*whew *

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Team Tokyo First Years + Mario Kart headcanons 

(Ft. Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, you & commentary from Sukuna)

This disaster happened because Yuji was bored. Isn't this how most shenanigans at Jujutsu Tech start?

Yuji was going through old boxes he never unpacked. Yeah, it's been months. He's lazy.

He found this one that he didn't pack himself. He pulled it out of the storage closet when Gojo helped him move from Sendai to Tokyo and he just grabbed it

He wonders what's in it

Its mostly full of cords he has no idea what they go to, a couple of headphones and

uwu what's this

Oh my gOD IT'S HIS WII

This thing is 12 y/o he hadn't seen it in at least 6 does it even still work

Looks like the controllers and cords are here let's plug it in

IT WORKS

Oh god it's so old

Okay what games are there

Just Dance, Wii Sports, Mario Kart, Cooking Ma-

MARIO KART OH GOD THE NOSTALGIA

This was his absolute favorite game to play as a kid

Can you believe he's never played it with anyone else?

He's gotta get the gang here

He texts the group chat and proposes they have a game night

Surprisingly the students answer his text really quick; Gojo seems to be off doing who knows what

Megumi knocks and lets himself in. He's only here because he has nothing better to do. That and if he had ignored the text all Yuji would do is bang on the wall or worse- come to his door

Nobara barges in as usual- why is she carrying so much stuff

Guess who just got free LED lights for their room to "set the mood?" 

Uhhh Nobara why are you wearing a tracksuit it's fucking Mario Kart

Oh she's very serious about this

At least she brought snacks

You didn't even read that Mario Kart was involved you just wanted to hang out with Yuji

Okay let's get started Megumi wants to go home even if he is enjoying the bonding time

Nobara curls up in Yuji's bed as if it's her own; Megumi picks a comfy spot on the floor with his back against the bed; Yuji chooses his beanbag chair; you pick [Yuji's lap, next to Megumi w/ your legs across his lap, cuddled up with Nobara]

While Yuji picks out the perfect playlist to play from his speakers, Nobara takes the liberty of going through the Wii.

She has to make herself a Mii it's a rule

This takes like thirty minutes by itself

She edits Yuji's Mii to look more like him (since he made it when he was about eight) and names it Himbo

She makes you a Mii while over-exaggerating your height (by making it very short or very tall) and names it Pookie

She makes Megumi a Mii real fast and names it Cranky BitchBoy

Yuji tells her to be nice

She changes it to Emo Sea Urchin

Good enough

After an hour passes, they're finally ready to play

Except Yuji only put batteries in one controller and he has no batteries

They tear his room apart before finally stealing batteries from his headphones and remotes

Nobara waits until now to announce she can only race with the steering wheel

....and Megumi prefers the nunchuck to motion controls are you fucking-

Yuji tears the box apart and manages to find a fucking steering wheel and a fucking nunchuck

Okay, can we start now?

Mario Kart: Wii!! Wahoo!

Alright; should we play teams or-

"It's bad enough I have to work with you guys in real life, no"

You and Nobara are on team red, the boys on team blue

She makes it very clear she's going to make them eat her dust

She didn't say it that way btw, that's the most polite way of putting it

Yuji chooses Waluigi because he's a meme and makes funny WAAAA noises

Megumi chooses Yoshi because he's a medium character. Medium characters have a field advantage because smaller characters get bumped around while larger characters have drag. Also-

Nobara chooses Daisy because "Damn they made her so thicc".

You choose [character]

Yuji is so eager to play he doesn't care what kart he chooses

Megumi takes forever to decide between a kart or bike and finally chooses the Sneakster

Nobara chooses the Mach Bike bc of how it makes her character look

You choose [cart/bike]

You four argue over what course to do

So you end up taking turns choosing

Nobara pauses halfway through the first race because her character won't fucking turn

Yuji insists it isn't the controller so they trade for one round

Its the controller

Upon further inspection, it was deemed that it looked like the controller had been soaked in some sort of juice

It was the grape soda incident of 2010

Okay gotta get a new controller

Okay it's fixed

Yuji forgot 1) he was player one and 2) he wasn't Yoshi (his normal character) and spent two laps staring at the wrong screen

He still finished 11th. Nobara finished 7th, you finished 3rd and Megs finished 2nd

Yuji ended up catching up really fast until he started showing Nobara tips

See Nobara claimed she knew everything about the game

So Yuji showed her how to flick the remote when she jumped and how to hold the go button down when the countdown was at 2 

She rlly did leave him in the dust

Yuji and Nobara lean their whole bodies with the controller while Megumi sits completely still

Nobara gets way into this game I stg she screams and yells and kicks her feet I hate it

She tries to bump your and Yuji's controllers to throw you off

"Noba-chan, I'm on your team"

"I don't give a fUCK STOP BEATING ME"

"IM ON YOUR TEAM"

"AHHHHHHHH"

Slap fight ensues

At some point, Toge comes and knocks on the door because he can hear the screaming from all the way down the hall

"Are you guys...okay?" -Inumaki language

Nobara just complains, so he leaves

You and Megumi are so fucking good at this game

Nobara starts targeting you two with shells until she realizes you're on her team and they don't hurt you

"Truce?"

All you can do is sigh

At some point, Sukuna comes out 

He thinks he's a sports commentator

He announces every little thing, like when someone falls or gets shelled

Which always makes Yuji look away from his screen

Sukuna proceeds to bully Yuji for running into walls, falling off, etc.

You laugh but quit when Yuji pouts

Nobara doesn't stop laughing

Despite Yuji being an idiot and having to be carried by Megumi, blue team wins

Nobara throws her controller and screams some more

Yuji breaks out into hysterics for some reason

Megumi sighs. He gets ready to go home but-

"Sit down Fushiguro that was just a warm-up round"

Okay, fine, he'll just beat her again

Nobara pulls you and Yuji to the side

"We gotta beat Fushiguro"

Yuji was bribed with food

No teams this time

"Let's do Rainbow Ro-" "NO" 

Daisy's Circuit it is 

"Hey Yuu-chan can I play a song"

"Sure name-chan"

"Hey Alexa play Move Bitch by Ludacris"

AHAHAHHAHAHA MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY

This is Nobara's song. She is invincible with this song.

Maybe it really was a warm-up round, Nobara is doing much better this time

She's in first place

It looks like Megumi is getting bored, he's falling back, losing his lead

Now if his calculations are correct, when you're in last place you're more likely to get-

Bingo

"Kugisaki, do you love me?"

"What the fuck, are you going soft on me Fushigu- don't you fucking dare"

"Goodbye Kugisaki"

"STOP STOP HOW DO I AVOID A BLUE SHELL ITADORI"

"YOU CAN'T YOU'RE FUCKED"

"FUCK FUCK FUCK"

Nobara doesn't finish the race due to the fact she is throwing a temper tantrum. She throws her controller so hard she breaks the wheel, controller and puts a dent in the wall

He hides it with a poster btw

Megumi wins.

"Avenge me, name-chan"

"Noba-chan we have one last race we can still beat him"

Nobara is PUMPED

Oh my god when no was looking Megumi chose Rainbow Road

Okay pause

Whoever falls off the most is gonna be the person who fell of the least's bitch for the week

Sinister laughing ensues

In conclusion: Yuji is now your bitch

Yujikuna gets bitchslapped for making dirty remarks

Nobara is the first to tap out due to lack of controller and ends up feeding you chips while you race

You tap out and end up snuggling with Nobara as the boys pull out another game that's two player

You two fall asleep while watching them bicker over which way to go

Megumi pauses the game and the boys just end up scrolling through their phones and talking-

-Until Yuji falls asleep in the beanbag chair

Finally, Megumi can go back to his room...

...Except, you three are so cute

Its kinda like a sleepover

Y'know, he doesn't hate you guys

He's just really bad at emotions

Should he stay

Yuji does have another beanbag he can crash on

...He'll just say he fell asleep going through Twitter or something

Goodnight... Friends

[ellitx]

There is meaning behind why Venti is always at the center of things- for starters, Tsaritsa has always coveted Barbatos's power (which is a huge reason I don't think Venti is as weak as we've been lead to believe- if he was then why would the most powerful Archon want his power so bad? It doesn't add up), it's said in I think the Cryo gemstone description (or smth like that). Also that Time and Wind world quest... there's a lot going on there. Theory has it that the wind and time are linked and one cannot exist without the other and have the world function as it should. Since Teyvat is heavily implied to be in a time loop and everyone keeps targeting Venti repeatedly the guess is those going after Venti are trying to... take him out to ruin the time loop since the God of Time is nowhere to be found (*cough* get back to work Paimon *cough cough*)

A lot of the lore and hints comes from the books we collect in-game, so I highly recommend checking those out (even if it's video form like this). Mhy makes stories with lots of hints hidden around all over the place, like a gigantic puzzle. And don't forget, all Honkai lore is 100% fair game too since they're canonically tied together- we have basically a really huge story from two games being combined. I heard it took the Honkai story two years to complete and I wouldn't be surprised if Genshin took longer. We're in for a hell of a story, and while you don't have to dig deeper and try putting pieces of the puzzle together yourself I personally think it's really fun to do that, especially since mhy intentionally sets us up to think or do one thing just to have the opposite happen (like Baal may not be as problematic as we think she is from what canon lore had lead us to believe, or even us supposed to be trusting Dain rn but the Teyvat outline video says we maybe shouldn't, Dain tells us himself. Or going back to Venti, canon says he's lazy and a shit Archon but he's not)

Basically, things are not as they seem initially and mhy does it on purpose. Whatever happens in the next Archon quest will probably give us more questions than answers (as usual) and lead us to trusting Dain more despite how utterly sketchy he is. For awhile we're gonna get waaaay more questions, so buckle up and don't worry too much about things not making sense- they're not supposed to yet. We're not even close to that point, I mean we don't even know who the bad guys are yet and that's the first step to understanding the story

-🌧 anon

Also that Time and Wind world quest... there's a lot going on there. Theory has it that the wind and time are linked and one cannot exist without the other and have the world function as it should.

Speaking of this, The God of Time and Venti actually met before! The people of mond even created a shrine for both of them but sadly everyone was devoted to barbatos instead to the god of time. They forgot the god of time’s existence which is why they disappeared

The God of Time was an archon who was once active in Mondstadt. For reasons not entirely known, both the worship of them and even the knowledge of their existence has all been forgotten.

source: wikia

Basically, things are not as they seem initially and mhy does it on purpose.

This.

Mihoyo is really doing a great job misleading the heck out of me and im easily deceived by simple words so whatever a character says about a character i easily take their words and assume they’re like this or like that

That’s why i prefer reading theories and see what everyone’s ideas or opinions about the genshin lore. It’s the only thing that keeps me playing the game and be interested in reading some in-game books and stories

Im still watching the other theory videos of Teyvat Historia so I might watch the links you gave me later on after i finish some of them!

[serowotonin]

˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol​  for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no 

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO” 

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing 

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again. 

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize 

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology?? 

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `