#i do not recommend living across the street from a fucking bar in the middle of a city centre

[lvllns]

why are people yelling so loudly outside and why have they been doing it for almost thirty minutes please it is 2:30 in the morning

[testingcheats0n]

Massive Dream SMP Fic Rec!!

Hey- Hi, I just feel like there are a ton of fanfiction that's really underrated in this fandom- so I'm going to dump it on your dash!!! Most of it is going to be Tommy-centric or SBI-centric, but they are very good!

Source: Me

Finished Fanfics:

Multi-chaptered Fanfics:

that's, like, a hundred miles by No_one_you_know

Dream would kill him. Dream was going to kill him- he was going to- no, he wouldn’t. Dream was his friend- friends don’t hit each other- Dream was supposed to take care of him- Dream /was/ taking care of him.

It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. He couldn’t clear his thoughts as he stumbled to the family computer, pulling up a tab on google and frantically typing the name into the search bar.

The words Technoblade Watson stared back at him, the little black bar at the end of the letters blinking slowly, mocking him.

Why, of all people, did it have to be Technoblade?

in short: the one where dream sucks as a parental figure, tommy runs away, and visits his least favorite family member technoblade

Hard-hitting, but has a happy ending, though I recommend reading the prequel (in the same series) first, otherwise, it's lowkey depressing.

MORE RECOMMENDATIONS BELOW THE CUT!!

you’ll rise above (crowned by an overture bold and beyond) by azvremoon

Tommy is not sixteen. He has faced too many open wounds, dripping ichor onto blood-stained warzones, to be just a child. He is Blood and War and needless Death, an all-in-one special of everything that can ruin reality.

(Tommy is the blood god. No one should know, but this server can't stop pushing him over the edge.)

+2 more Works that were Inspired by this one

Tommy is a BAMF and Dream, Technblade, and Phil get fucked it is what it is.

Responsible Forever by SilverWing15

“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.” /////

“So,” Techoblade says, slow and deliberate, his face shows clearly just how unbelievable he finds all of this, “you saw a boy last night, in the middle of the night, living with raccoons and eating our garbage?”

“I know how insane it sounds,” Phil says, “but I know what I saw. We need to help him, who knows how long he’s been out here?”

“Okay,” Wilbur interrupts, “let’s say that raccoon-boy is real. What is it you want us to do? We can’t go searching the woods for specific bunch of raccoons, I don’t know if you’ve noticed Phil but there are a lot of them out there.”

“Going out and hunting him isn’t going to get us anywhere,” Techno says, “we have to let the raccoon-boy come to us. He’s already come once, you know how tenacious raccoons are. If they came to the garbage pit once, they’ll come again. We just have to set a trap.”

“Those raccoons aren’t gonna know what fucking hit them,” Wilbur mutters.

Or: RaccoonInnit taken well beyond its logical conclusion

Tommyinnit is a Raccoon boi that lives with other Raccoons

Protecting the Traumatised Youth by spookyserpent

Sam blinks. “What?”

Even behind the mask, Sam has the distinct impression that Dream is grinning at him. “A week and he was begging for my attention, even after I stole and burnt his armour, even after the beatings. He couldn’t stand me leaving him because I was the only one to show up, to pay him attention. It was hilarious.”

Sam is going to be sick.

Or, Sam decides to ask Dream about his intentions and ends up becoming a big brother to Tommy and Tubbo. All the while, Dream and George fight, Niki and Jack plan child murder and Ranboo is slowly getting adopted into the SBI.

Awesamdad written back when it was possible... ahhh

Chaos In a Bottle by Lovetribable

After a realization, Tommy leaves the pillar, but instead of going to Techno. He just disappears, leaving everyone to think he's gone.

It takes a war to bring him back.

+2 Sequels and an Alternative Ending

Dadinnit!! + A Sympathetic Dream

Absolutely Anything For Them by Numanum

“There’s a lot you don’t understand, Tubbo,” Dream sighs, meeting his eyes cooly. Tubbo, back against a tree, shudders at his tone, at the look on his face.

The sword at his neck skims across his skin as Dream shifts his grip on it, and he flinches back into the rough bark behind him. Dream smiles at his reaction, seeming pleased- like the cat that’s been toying with a mouse that always tries to run no matter how many times it’s caught. And, despite this being his first encounter alone with the man, he thinks that the comparison is fairly accurate; Tubbo has never felt smaller than he does now. There’s supposed to be a buddy system to prevent things like this- he shouldn’t be alone here, stuck in this situation.

Or: Tubbo becomes a traitor to save everyone and has to struggle with his choices

Traitor Tubbo, but it has the happiest ending possible since it follows the rest of the story.

Where Did You Come From, Kit? by KadeAK (zacixn)

Hybrids are an ancient species of humans crossed with animals, blessed with the favour of nature. They used to live in peace on the SMP’s land, but ever since the dawn of humanity’s modern culture, they have become ostracised and hunted by their once-brethren. Now, the once-thriving subspecies of hybrids have been reduced to ashes, the majority of their peoples struggling to survive in a city capital that can't stand their presence.

To the members of L’Manburg, General Wilbur Soot is just another mildly prejudiced human being, stuck with a hybrid fox kit for an adopted child. However, that assumption could not be farther from the truth. As it turns out, there's a reason why he is the man he is today.

This fic is entirely pre-L’Manburg.

Part of a series, very good.

Take It Easy by sweet_magnolias

Five times Techno scared Michael, one time Michael scared him, and the resolution of those fears.

AKA - Techno learns how to be an uncle.

Technoblade's POV, so expect some Tubbo bashing on the margins of all that Michael fluff.

I suppose it’s never my time to die, is it? by Birb_Whale

The first time it happens, he barely remembers. The second time is when he realized. The third... Twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern

“It’s not your time to die yet, Tommy”

Messed up, but not unrealistic. Purely for the Hurt/Comfort lovers.

This Wasn't Planned, But It'll Work Out by Anonymous

Dream isn't sure what to think when he finds a kid on his doorstep, but he can't just leave him there, now can he?

(He doesn't know what he's getting into, or what he's gotten the kid into, either)

Long, and angsty, with a bittersweet ending Imo.

let's play a game by Aria_Cinabun

Tommy was once a slave. That's gone now - shoved in his past with the memories of blood and gore and death. He wants to forget who he was; what he has to do to survive. Of course, the Elementalists will always come back to haunt him. They aren't the ones who killed his mother, but they're close enough. And now he and his brother have been dragged into the mess, as Elementalists with their own, separate covens, to find the Pit - the place where he'd lived and killed and hurt for the first twelve years of his life. His coven can't know. Can't know who he really is, what he can really do. Can't know anything about his past. He doesn't want a coven full of Elementalists who don't trust him; one of whom he's pretty sure despises him. He doesn't want that life. He wants the life of a pickpocket, on the streets, because nobody questions street kids, and nobody comes asking about his past and pushes him to tell his secrets that he holds closest inside. Tubbo tries to tell him to trust people. But trust is how you die.

Good fantasy AU, has SBI, and is thus fluffy.

Turn of the Tide by SilverWing15

Tommy’s fins twitch at the mention of Dream’s ancestors. Dream talks about them a lot, how they made their fortune hunting down mer pods, how they were cruel and greedy. Nothing like Dream is. They’ve both overcome their roots he says.

Tommy is nothing like the wild mer out in the ocean, who spend their lives scraping by just to survive, who kicked him out of the pod when he was a baby because he was too small. He’s also better than the pit mer, who can’t overcome their wild instincts and know nothing but fighting.

He’s different from them, he’s better than them. He’s Dream’s. //// OR: Change is like the tide, when it comes, you can only sink or swim. You would think that a mer would be better at keeping afloat.

Mermaid AU Pooog. Part of a series.

One-Shots:

Snapped by AmberRunnel

“You don’t know what I went through in that prison cell.”

Jack burst out laughing, blinded with rage and the overwhelming urge to hurt Tommy, to give him everything he deserved. “Oh, is the poor child traumatized? You want pity now?” He twisted his blade, and Tommy’s axe was sent clattering to the ground.

“If the prison was so awful, why don’t I send you back there?”

-|-

Jack doesn't handle Tommy's revival well. There's a simple solution, though. Kill Tommy, and Dream revives him right back into that cell. Problem solved, kid dealt with.

It takes a few confrontations for Jack to realize he's an asshole.

It's fucked up, but god does it hurt in a good way.

the sky is coming down blue by salinesolution

An imagining of New Milo's perspective throughout the Skyblock Randomizer adventure. What did he think of the world he found himself in, and how did Wilbur's feelings and actions change things for him? Here's my way of answering those questions.

He made the fish think, funniest shit I've seen.

You told me to be a hero (so let me die like one) by spiromachia

"You told me to die like a hero," the blond interrupted, spinning on his heel to face the others, holding his arms wide open, "So why not fulfil the ending that was always meant to be."

Across the battle field, through the chaos and destruction, a tree burned.

Even the sound of explosions and cries and bloodshed felt distant enough for the world to become silent for a few moments, each individual slowly coming to the same conclusion, each of their bodies tensing.

Tommy's face broke out into a grin as he lowered his head, glowering at the people around him, and Philza's face flashed with recognition.

"Kill me."

Or... In the middle of Doomsday, Tommy decides to ask Technoblade to be the Lycomedes to his Theseus.

Heavy and dark, but at least Dream gets it.

tomorrow night by meridies

Tommy is desperately searching for his missing brother. Techno is the reluctant psychic who unfortunately got dragged along.

or, two people, more alike than different, learn what it is to have a family at their side.

It's cute what can I say :]

maple syrup by itisjosh

"We could run," Tubbo stares at the sun. "We've got everything we've ever wanted right here. We could run."

"Yeah," Tommy agrees, feeling his head swim. "We could."

(or, tommy and tubbo run away together)

Children get away from toxic adults :)

Why’d it have to be so sunny? (The sun shouldn’t shine without you.) by AToZRainToBe

‘A realisation hits Phil in the face like a truck. “Wi- Ghostbur,” Phil says, turning to his grey-scale, translucent, actually-dead son. “You definitely told Tubbo that Tommy’s alive, right?”’

To get away from Dream, Tommy agrees to fake his death, going with the cover story that he jumped from the pillar in Logstedshire. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell Tubbo.

Misunderstandings are one of my favorite tropes.

sugar and ice by princedemeter for Aenqa

“He is my son,” Philza says. “Mortal or not, I would see him grow strong.”

Technoblade looks down on earth, at the tiny, angry bundle of cloth and pinking, wrinkled skin. This mortal child, he thinks, lungs filled with breath from the king of gods himself, will not grow strong.

It's mostly centered around Technoblade and Wilbur with Phil being a shitty dad. Pog Gods AU.

a matter of time by meridies

Tommy is twelve years old when his wings first appear, and he is twelve years old when Phil tells him, "All it takes is time and patience, Tommy, and soon you'll be flying even better than me."

or, Tommy grows up feeling like a failure, and it takes him a while to figure out where he's happiest.

Tommy is just finding his place in the world. Powers AU.

That Time a Baby Decided to Raise a Baby by Scitrust

Tubbo wasn't good at making excuses, so when Schlatt asked him why he was leaving in the night, he made something up on the spot. That had been months ago.

At least he sort of had an alibi for that, now.

Or, in which Tubbo finds a baby in the woods on his way to see Tommy, and promptly adopts it.

Part of a collection!! Read it all.

spider lily by blue000jay

Wilbur has a body.

The freckle on the base of his left pinky finger (shared with Techno). The scar on his chin from when he was twelve and over ambitious, diving into too-shallow water. The scar on his throat from the final control room, and the puckered skin on his shoulder from the poisoned arrow that killed him next. Various other nicks and things that litter his skin from years of rebellion and living wild, a kid thrown into a vicious world with too little self-preservation.

(Resurrection AU, for when/if Wilbur comes back.)

The author knows how it's like to live with chronic pain, and it shows :(

Hands tied loose by rabiddog

"Let's run away, Tubbo." Tommy breathed; a wide grin split across his face as his hope grew. "Let's get out of here – far away. We can go anywhere, can't we? Let's just go, you and me right here, right now."

-

Tommy needs to leave. He has to get out of L'Manburg, he has to leave the Dream SMP for his own sanity, and he wants Tubbo to come with him.

But Tubbo has a family now, a better life - something that he can't give up... not even for his best friend.

Unhappy ending :(

The serpent underneath by rabiddog

Tommy and Techno sit at the memory-filled bench and talk. Technoblade reminisces, he talks, he admits his pent-up feelings, he cries. And Tommy? Tommy listens. (That's all he can do.)

-

“I’m sorry for everything, you know? For all of it. I’m so sorry about... about the first war, about the withers and the fighting, about...” Technoblade's fingers began to curl around Tommy’s blonde locks. “About Wilbur and everything after. I'm so, so sorry.”

:((((((((

Damning choices by rabiddog

Ranboo would have never expected to find himself in a horrifying situation such as that one - quite literally sandwiched between a rock and a hard place, with three lives dangling over his head and the answer on the tip of his tongue.

Tubbo, Michael, Tommy.

It's his choice. He chooses who lives, and who dies. His new family, or his first friend. But Ranboo... Ranboo already knows.

-

"Ranboo," He hissed out, voice cracking and somewhat staticky, "It's not your fault. It's not. You had no other choice; I know that, okay? I- I know that- I know- I know..."

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Jealousy is a disease by rabiddog

Tommyinnit isn't new to the idea of jealousy. He understands it completely. He understands the way it runs rampage through his body each time he catches even a glimpse of Tubbo and Ranboo's new relationship, he understands that the emotion makes his heart clench uncomfortably from time to time. He sees it, feels it, and yet he doesn't care.

He doesn't care at all.

-

"You took Tubbo away from me. You took him away. You took my best friend, and now he's- now he's not my best friend anymore, and I-!"

:)

Word of Honour by rabiddog

Tommy could only stand and stare as Technoblade agreed to hand him over to Dream - as his brother traded him off like he was nothing. Like Tommy wasn't important.

-

Technoblade was a man of honour. He was a man of pride and sticking to his word. He knew that he owed Dream a favour, and no matter what that favour might be, he'd be compliant with it. Nothing would change his mind. (Not even Tommy.)

Almost canon. F.

Sweet Repentance by rabiddog

Perhaps Tommy should have told Phil about his arguably life-threatening injury the minute his father had opened the door. But of course, Tommy being Tommy, did not.

Dying seemed like a nice enough option as long as he was with his family.

-

Tommy just wanted acceptance, forgiveness, and peace. He wanted to close his eyes for the last time and finally be able to let go.

Tommy dies painfully.

A White Tulip by astervoid

He picked the white tulip from the bottom of the stem, standing up carefully as he held it pinched between his fingers. It would die now, inevitably, but Tommy relented and held the flower to his chest. What a silly, stupid thing to ground him. He almost hated that it made his breaths come easier and his steps feel lighter. Almost.

Tommy & Ranbooo chill on the bench.

lying to the authorities (again) by touchgrass

"Please tell me that my right-hand-man, my soon-to-be vice president, one of the people I trust the most on this godforsaken server, did not lie straight to my face and tell me he was twenty-fucking-years-old.”

Tommy opened his mouth to protest, but then closes it shut at the furious look on Wilbur's face. Oops.

~

It is the day of the elections and Wilbur Soot could not have chosen a worser time to realize that half his staff is underage.

The ONLY fic with this premise I've seen on Ao3.

Dear Theseus by rabiddog

Tommy had thought that they'd won - thought that they'd finally beaten Dream, and that everything would be okay. As it turns out, however, apparently Dream had called in that favour from Technoblade after all.

-

“Please,” Tommy whispered after a beat, quivering hands edged upwards to hesitantly press against the tip of the sword striking through his chest. Why, why, why? Why him? Why now?

Tommy almost wins.

A Shifting World by AplusIsRoman

How was Wilbur supposed to know it would end like this?

The smoke hung in the air and soot clung to his skin. His brother - adopted, but older by two minutes - stood back-to-back with him. The chilling cries of people and the calls of the withers rang through the air above the chasm that was once his home.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

How could he have known this would happen?

-

Sequel to A Child's World

Age-swap AU. Has a prequel.

heart of the sea by RyDyKG

Here is the secret that he barely thinks about, a secret that he shoves deep and far down in himself:

Wilbur Soot is a siren, and he’s not exactly proud of that fact.

Wilbur-centric. Urban Fantasy AU.

He knows, ok? by Ralli

By some means, Techno has given his raccoon younger brother some cotton candy. It doesn’t end as well as either of them would like.

Very, very cute :)

that's it, it's split (it won't recover) by Jk_Kat

Tommy has always been the fighter.

He has never been the fought for, and he knows it, with every whisper Tubbo directs at Ranboo, with every glance thrown his way- Tommy knows, the way he wishes he didn't, that they think he's dead.

If they're so convinced he's still dead, maybe the one good thing left he can do for them is die.

---

Or, Tommy gets addicted to being dead and thinks that nobody cares about him. The people who very much do try to pull him back from the brink before Dream can't resurrect him anymore.

Messed up, but with a happy ending.

Hugs 'n PTSD by rabiddog

Ranboo knew from the start that the recovery process would be hard - that moving on from quite literally being beat to death would be something hugely difficult to step away from, and that's if Tommy could even manage it at all.

He knew that it would be stressful and arduous, demanding and tough... he just hadn't expected to be holding Tommy through a PTSD-induced panic attack only days after his release from Pandora's Vault.

-

Ranboo isn't typically an overbearingly protective person. But for Tommy? He just might be.

I love this author if you can't tell.

Big Men don't cry by Shiny22Snivy

The room is small and warm, almost stifling compared to the cool openness of the ravine. It’s cosy and candlelit, and a chest sits open in the corner, full of what looks to be burnt rags of a former smart suit. And sitting in rumpled blankets on a bed, cradling a mug of something steaming, sits Tubbo.

At first, Tommy forgets all about Niki’s vague warning. He’s just so happy to see his best friend again, alive and well and all in one piece. Tubbo’s okay. Tubbo’s okay, and in front of him, and suddenly everything bad in the world is gone, if only for just a moment.

“Tommy?”

And then Tubbo turns to look at him.

Clingyduo fluff.

sins of the father (i broke all my bones that day i found you) by ryter

The thing that hurt Wilbur most was when he saw Fundy tear down the walls of L'Manburg. After all, those walls had gone up to protect his son. But in this world, Fundy trusts his father just a little bit more, and it ruins him.

Or: there's only one way Wilbur never becomes the villain. It's unclear whether this was the better path.

SOME VIOLENCE WARNINGS/BLOOD MENTION. CHARACTER DEATH. SO MUCH ANGST.

Sad, but cathartic.

REVIVED TOMMY HEADCANNONS AHAHAHAHA by racooninnit

i’m dropping ALL the fucking revived tommy headcannons on you guys today get ready for some ANGST

this is different from what i usually post but it was fun

i don’t think there’s a lot i need to put warnings for, obviously there are mentions of the way tommy died and the aftermath of that (i.e. injuries and trauma), but if there’s anything that needs a warning please tell me!

What it says on the tin- not really a fic.

Unfinished Stories:

Ongoing (Less than a month since the last update):

Over the River Styx by CorpseArt

I feel like we should name him.

There’s a scuffle at the back of his mind as he rolls up, curling tight with a shiver despite the heat of the flames licking up his back.

I mean, he’s like – us, but like a worse version clearly because oh man, this is just weirdness. There’s a flare of a tangle of emotions, complicated and fearful, resentful and livid with anger. I can’t believe this is what I’ve been reduced to, stuck in the mind of this- this child.

He’s like your age, Tommy. Are you calling yourself a child?

I mean, I am one so fucking duh. Child murderer.

-

Or: trauma bonding in the most unconventional of senses.

Just- Read it. Show the writer your support, it's unique, it's amazing and there needs to be more of it.

If history is dead and gone by iregretallmydecisions

“Don’t come any fucking closer,” Tommy shouted, startling Phil into stepping back. Tommy was still looking around wildly, like a trapped animal “Don’t fucking do it.” ---- In which Tommy finds himself faced with his splintered family, while it was still mostly whole. The past is not an easy place to be when the future was not kind. His family is forced to deal with the fall out.

It's better than Rewind, but you didn't hear that from me.

Wilbur Soot's Redemption (OR Ghostbur's Retry) by luckykitty0523

Wilbur had many regrets in his life, being lost in his madness and the urge for revenge drowned leaving a shell of who he once was. It was only in his dying moments that he regained himself but it was already too late for him leaving him drowning in wishes and regrets. However waking up in another different universe where wilbur was never born and family soulmates exist, so when wilbur said he wanted to fix the mistakes he never expected this turn of events.

OR

In one world wilbur dies and he would return as a ghost missing his memory and trying to fix what he did in life but in this one wilbur dies and wakes up in another world where soulmates exist and the wilbur of that world was never born so wilbur/ghostbur takes his place and tries to make up his mistakes to the other version of his friends.

Wilbur adopts SBI + Fundy + Dream.

A Talk Long Overdue by penink

Tommy has his first therapy session with Puffy.

Tommy gets therapy.

Into the Night by Interjection

“Don’t touch me,” Tommy hisses, leaning against the railing. “I will - I will-”

They’re a hundred stories up. Wind lashes against Phil’s face. Next to him, Sam makes choked noise.

“But why?”

Tommy looks up to meet Phil’s eyes, terror struck so deep in those pale blue irises Phil thinks they must hold all the world’s fears within them.

“You’ll die,” he whispers. “And then I’ll die. But I’ll come back.”

“And I don’t want to come back.”

Others have the freedom to live. Tommy doesn’t even have the freedom to die.

But maybe they can teach him that living doesn’t have to be so bad.

---

(Superpowers AU where whenever someone touches Tommy, they both die. But Tommy will always come back to life eventually. He just wants it to end - but instead, he’s on the run, terrified of how his power will be exploited if he’s caught.

A few people reluctantly team up to save him.)

Funky SBI dynamics + a Sam that cares. Also a lot of angst.

[gretavanbitch]

Tangled up in blue- 5

Warnings- swearing, drugs (the usual)

After the first night, the adrenaline rush of the tour slowed to a constant drawl in Penny's mind. Her heart constantly at a slightly hazy pace compared to its resting pace. She blinked slowly, rubbing sleep out of her eyes as the dull light of the morning flooded into the stuffy bus. The only sounds to be heard was the steady breathing of the band and rain pattering softly against the windows. Her hair was spread across Josh’s bare chest and rose and fell with every breath he took. She got up as carefully and slowly as possible, being careful not to wake anyone. She flinched slightly when the bathroom door opened with a creak. Her eyes were slightly sunken and smudged and her lips were still swollen from the abundance of love that was present last night. She reached to her neck and lightly caressed the marks still present from Josh’s kisses, remembering the feeling of his lips on her neck. 

Brushing her teeth and hair, Penny exited the bathroom and made a large pot of coffee for the boys, the mornings were never easy for them and alcohol made them even worse. Knowing it would take some time for everyone to get up, she made herself comfortable on one of the couches on the back of the bus, separate from the bunk area. She sipped her coffee, reading a book Jake had recommended to her. Surprisingly, Jake had very good taste in books, better than Josh in fact. Josh was a very visual person, he could sit through a four hour movie, but never read a book for four hours. The pages breezed by her eyes, in what seemed like minutes she was halfway done with the book. It was a thrilling tale of two lovers, a classic trope of a peasant and a prince. She was a sucker for cliches. 

Through the curtain she soon heard the sounds of the boys stirring from their sleep, one by one waking up. She pushed the fabric of the curtain open softly, leaning against the frame. Jake was pouring three cups of coffee, rubbing his eyes harshly. Sam was in the bathroom, probably releasing the demons of last night from his stomach. Danny sat on the edge of his bunk, stretching his long arms and waking up. Josh on the other hand was now lying face down on the bed, soft snores coming from his frame. His hair was a curly mess and he only had on his boxers. She chuckled to herself, of course he was the last one to get up. 

“Mornin’ everyone,” she muttered softly, pattering over to Josh. Sluggish responses followed her. She sat on the edge of Josh’s bunk, running her hands softly down his back. She admired the way his lips parted slightly in his sleep, eyes fluttering in REM. She leaned over his frame, kissing his cheek softly, causing his eyes to blink open softly. He smiled out of his sleep, turning over onto his back and pulling Penny down onto his chest. 

“Good morning mama,” he rasped, burying his nose in the crook of her neck. 

“Good morning handsome, want some coffee?” He groaned a yes in response, still holding Penny tight. She felt the steady thump of his heart on her chest, not wanting to move in a million years. He felt so warm and alive, hands wrapped around her frame and legs wrapped around each other. She sighed, knowing there were actual things needed to be done with the day, and removing herself from Josh reluctantly. 

“What's the plan for today?” she asked Jake as she poured a cup of coffee for Josh. 

“We are stuck on the bus for the majority of the day, heading to Washington for the show in two days,” he responded from his seat across from her, looking up from his phone. “Emily and the other girls are going to meet us there too, so you won’t be stuck with all us boys anymore.” He noted, referring to the other girlfriends joining them on tour. She nodded happily, she got along well with all of them, and texted them pretty consistently. Although she was closest with Carly, Sam’s girlfriend, Emily and Dana were both her friends as well. 

Once Josh had coffee in his system, the bus slowly stirred to life. Sam was nursing his hangover, Jake was texting with Emily, and Danny was playing guitar softly in the corner. Their manager had come in as well, delivering bagels for everyone and announced that they would hit the road in 20 minutes. 

Penny dressed herself in something comfortable, knowing her limbs would become sore from sitting on the bus for hours. She was now clad in a long sleeved linen dress that had buttons down the front and a seam in the middle. Her hair was loose down her shoulders, and birkenstocks on her feet. The rest of the boys were in their usual attire, Josh in a grey hoodie and tan pants (of course). 

The bus was now officially on the road after a sluggish morning. The state of California soon passing by Penny’s eyes in a haze. She was sat on a couch at the back of the bus with Josh directly to her left and Danny to her right. Josh had one earbud in his ear, sharing the other with Penny, and a bagel in his hand. His head nodded along to the song as he chewed. Penny smiled, leaning her back into his frame and putting her legs on Danny. Neil Diamond filled her ears as she closed her eyes, inhaling Josh’s sent. He always smelled the same, like patchouli and cinnamon. It was almost hypnotizing. 

“We should go for a hike when we get there,” Sam announced, breaking the comfortable silence of the bus ride. 

“I want to go thrifting too,” Josh added with his eyes closed, head swaying to the music. Everyone silently agreed and went back to whatever they were doing. 

Northern California passed by with images of tall looming trees and thickening forests. Josh’s playlist ranged from The Fleet Foxes to Phoebe Bridgers, just because he knew Penny had a soft spot for her. When Scott Street came on shuffle, her eyes lit up and she craned her neck, looking up at him smiling. He laughed, kissing the top of her head. Penny had never felt so at home. The comforting smell of Sam’s incense wafted through the backroom of the bus, and Josh’s warmth made her head dizzy with love. She hummed as she softly toyed with his fingers mindlessly. 

After a few hours, the bus stopped in the middle of Oregon. Everyone was grateful for the opportunity to get snacks and stretch their legs. Penny stepped out into the midday breeze, breathing the fresh air in deeply. The group then entered the small gas station, Josh holding the door for her like the gentleman he is. 

“fuck I need another coffee,” she sighed, making her way to the coffee station and pouring herself a hot coffee. Josh bought himself a water and some granola bar. Sam, Jake, and Danny got themselves an assortment of junk food, dumping it in front of the cashier with a smile. Once everyone payed, they sat on a curb by the bus for a few minutes, not wanting to get back on the road quite yet. Penny was grateful that she grabbed her camera, because the cloudy light and light breeze was picturesque. She took her bottom lip between her teeth and scurried in front of the boys quickly, kneeling on the ground to get the shot. They all looked dramatically off into the distance while the shutter clicked. 

“alright now smile for me boys,” she laughed. They obliged, looking at the camera now and smiling brightly. 

“beautiful.” She sighed, returning to her spot next to Josh. 

“I don’t know how you do that,” Josh said, looking off into the distance as he spoke. 

“do what?” Penny answered, sipping her coffee. 

“Just see the world around you and turn it into something so beautiful.” Her heart jumped, it always did when Josh talked about her photography. 

“It’s easy when I’m around the most beautiful person in the world.” 

He laughed, meeting her eyes. She shook her head, still relishing in the compliments. 

“alright time to go boys...and girl,” their manager announced, sticking his head out the bus door. Penny huffed a laugh as she took Josh’s hand and once again entered the bus. 

The rest of the trip came in a dreary haze of naps and Josh’s playlist filling Penny’s ears. He never played a bad song. The bus had now parked outside the venue, Penny silently thanking the universe that they wouldn’t be sleeping in the bus for the next two nights. The boys had agreed to rent and house in the suburbs of Seattle so they could have some privacy and not be confined to a hotel. They also rented a jeep, stuffing their bags in it hastily so they could have some fun with the afternoon. Since the group got such an early start, they still had the remainder of the day to explore and shop. 

Sam entered the driver’s seat of Jeep, Jake shotgun, and the rest of them stuffed in the back. The drive was relatively short and rowdy. Jake playing Steven Stills on aux, while arguing with Sam over which album was better. Danny and Josh were talking about the set list for the tour, still tinkering on which songs to include and which to leave out. 

“Yeah, but I think we should do Stardust Chords after Black smoke it will be a good lead up,” Danny suggested calmly. 

“Ooh yeah, and we should do light my love after that,” Josh agreed. Penny sat silently, relishing in the banter surrounding her. They soon reached the house, it was a small bungalow on the edge of a hill. 

Josh opened the trunk and took out his and Penny’s bag, carrying them both up to the door and unlocking it with a key he found in the mailbox. The interior was just as lovely as the outside. A small living room and kitchen were on the left with a five person dining room table on the right and the stairs in the middle. Josh then jogged upstairs with the bags in hand, wanting first pick at rooms. He chose the one closest to the backyard with a view of the woods. 

“Mmm good choice babe,” Penny sighed flopping down onto the bed with a thud. He smiled, placing the bags down on the floor and laying down on his back beside her. 

She turned on her side to face him, he did the same. The room smelled of wood and clean linen. Her eyes drifted to Josh, he was smiling at her stupidly with his hands tucked under his chin. 

“what?” she laughed, poking his shoulder. 

“nothin’ I just love you baby,” he spoke softly, blinking his eyes. 

“I love you too Josh,” she said, loving the sound of saying it. 

Then he kissed her, softly capturing her lips with his own. She sighed into the kiss, running her hand down his jawline. Before the kiss could become too heated she pulled away with a stupid grin on her face. 

“lets go get something to eat then we can go shopping,” she said, pulling him up off the bed with two hands. 

“whatever you say mama.” 

The streets of Seattle were damp with the constant flow of soft showers. Josh’s hair was slightly less curly due to the climate, and it made him look even more 70′s, it was beautiful. The group got lunch at a nice sandwich spot on the wharf then split off into groups to do some shopping, planning to meet up at the house for a late hike. 

Josh and Penny were on the hunt for a thrift shop, hand in hand wandering the streets. After about thirty minutes with no luck, Penny spotted a bright neon sign a few feet ahead of them reading “vintage”. 

“fucking finally,” she said, tugging Josh’s hand hurredly into the store. Good thing they kept walking because this place was a gem. Josh’s eyes lit up as he scanned the rows of clothing and records. They then began searching through the rows, looking through every piece of clothing incase they found anything good. 

“Ooh babe you would look stunning in this,” Josh said excitedly as he held up a dress. It was a dusty red with a deep v-neck and ruffles down the chest and sleeves. 

“holy shit,” she smiled “I need it.” 

After about an hour, Penny had a substantial haul piled in her hand and Josh had found a few good pieces as well. He had a few necklaces that he loved and a vintage woodstock t-shirt. Now they were running late, of course and had to rush back to meet the boys. 

They were greeted with unamused expressions when they returned to the house, rushing up to the room to change quickly. Josh changed into a white t-shirt and black windbreaker, Penny wearing his grey hoodie and leggings. 

“let’s go mama,” he smiled, pecking her on the lips and leading her down stairs. 

“fucking finally,” Sam got up from the couch, Danny following suit. Jake then entered from the kitchen, trail map in hand. 

“Ok well we don’t have that much time before it gets dark so we should bring headlamps,” he suggested as his eyes scanned the map. Penny nodded, stuffing some water bottles into her bag as Josh wrestled Sam on the carpet. 

“Hey dickheads, the owner said there’s a trail through the backyard to a waterfall lets go,” Jake said loudly, shoving Sam and Josh as he spoke. The group made their way through the backyard, following the clear trail into the woods. The trees were some of the biggest that Penny had ever seen, they towered over them, making the light a faded blue. Jake led the group, confidently stepping over branches and rocks as he walked. Penny and Josh were at the back of the group, taking their time to admire the scenery, walking hand in hand. 

“It’s so pretty here,” Penny said, looking up into the treeline that was illuminated by the dusk light. 

“yeah it’s beautiful,” Josh said, only he wasn’t looking at the scenery, his gaze was fixed on the blonde next to him. A familiar smoky scent soon wafted into their noses from in front of them. 

“Sam, I know you aren’t lighting up right now,” Penny laughed. 

“what? I want to take in the nature,” he spoke through a hit, coughing slightly. 

“well share the wealth,” She reached out her hand as he passed the J behind his back. She took a few hits, before handing it off to Josh. She watched has he held it between his fingers, bringing it to his lips and inhaling deeply. The rest of the hike was peacefully silent, the light slowly fading into the sunset. They reached the waterfall after thirty minutes of walking, finding some rocks to rest on by the water. 

“Josh, stay still for a sec,” Penny asked, taking out her camera quickly. He nodded, not moving from his seat on the rock on the edge of the water. His head was turned towards the sky, knees facing the water. As always, he looked beautiful. The waterfall itself was also beautiful, the water cascaded off of a cliff into the pool below, misting the group slightly. 

“guys i’m hungry wanna head back?” Josh spoke up after a few minutes of silence. Everyone responded with ‘yeas’ gathering up their belongings slowly. The walk back was quiet, relishing in the earthy smell of the woods and fading light of the day. The backyard appeared quickly, and the grouped collectively plopped down on the couch. 

“lets order pizza, Sam and Danny go get alcohol,” Josh suggested as he lay his head on Penny’s lap. She toyed with his hair, nodding along to his suggestion. Sam and Danny agreed, grabbing the keys to the Jeep and heading out, Jake ordered the pizza. 

“alright mama, lets go make a big ass bonfire,” Josh said, reaching for her hand to lead her outside. 

“alright loverboy,” She laughed. 

~

Hey babes! this chapter felt so long, maybe because it took me so long to write lol. 

[anjanettexcordonia]

Lady Liberty

*Trigger Warnings* -NSFW, Fluff  Pairing: Riley x OC, Liam x MC, Liam x Riley Word Count:3,348 Excuse any grammatical errors or misspellings. My first attempt at fluff. Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry & some dialogue. 

Thank you to @texaskitten30 for pre-reading & helping me get through my writers block at the end! 

Summary: Riley turns Liam down for drinks after their initial meeting at her bar. They have a serendipitous meeting later that night. Will Liam find is way to Riley’s heart? 

Song Inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMEOOgotuEs Love You Like The Movies- Anthem Lights

.

.

.

“Sorry I’m late. Thank you for your patience, Miss?” 

“Uh, Riley”

“Charmed to make your acquaintance, Riley.”

“The pleasure is all mine. It’s nice to meet you. Now let me put your order in. Be right back!”

Later that evening, a little after the bar has closed, you’re finishing up when someone taps you on the shoulder…

“I think we are about ready to head out. I just wanted to thank you… and apologize. I know we kept you late, and my friends can be demanding.” 

“Demanding? Nothing I couldn’t handle.” 

“I got the feeling that you could take care of yourself. If you don’t have any other plans tonight, maybe I can make it up to you by buying you a drink. We’re about to go to a club.”

“Oh? Which one?”

“We were hoping you might have some advice about that. We’re not from around here.” 

“I recommend going to the hottest club in town Kismet.” 

“I would love to show you guys around but I’ve already made plans tonight. ” Riley replies. Liam looks down at his hands. “It was very nice to meet you Riley. I hope you have a wonderful night.” 

.

.

. 

After her shift is over, she quickly changes into her short emerald dress and walks out of the bar with her bag and phone in hand. Riley couldn’t wait to see Ezra, they had been dating for two years. And this was the night! Her life was about to change, she could feel it.

Ping. Riley pulls her phone out to check the text message she received.

Ezra: I’m sorry.

Riley: What’s wrong? What happened Ez? 

Riley waited for a response. Nothing. She pressed the call button. The number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please hang up and try your call again. End. 

Riley stood up and raced to hail a cab to her apartment. Riley burst through the door moments later. It’s dark and silent. “Ezra? Ezra where are you? EZRA?” She screams his name while she checks every room in the apartment. 

When she gets to the master bedroom, an envelope propped up against the pillows catches her eye.

Riley. 

She tears the envelope open and pulls out the handwritten letter.

“Riley, 

I’m sorry for what I’m about to tell you. I received a job offer in California. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to uproot your life in New York. I’ve always loved and always will. I know you were expecting a proposal and for that I’m truly sorry. I hope you find the person that deserves your whole heart. I’ll always carry a piece of you with me. 

I’ll always love you, 

Ezra” 

Riley sits on her bed, her legs threatening to give out beneath her. Riley crumbled the letter in her hand while she seethed with anger. She shot up off the bed and ran to his dresser drawer. She threw open the drawers with a force that pulled the drawer completely off its track and threw the drawer across the room. The drawer hit the wall and splintered into pieces. 

How could he do this? I would have gone with him. She wondered to herself. She was confused, hurt and angry. She had to get out of her apartment, their apartment. Riley grabbed her keys and marched out the door. She had no idea where she was going. 

An hour had gone by of Riley wandering around the busy streets of the city that never sleeps. She found herself in Battery Park. Exactly where she was supposed to meet Ezra. Where he was supposed to propose. She sat on an empty bench and stared at the beautiful symbol of freedom in front of her. The Statue of Liberty.

“Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” Riley whispered and the tears started. She put her head in her hands and let the tears flow, the more they flowed the harder she sobbed. 

“Are you okay, miss?” 

Riley snapped her head up at the smooth baritone voice. “Uh.. yeah sorry.. I..uh..” she wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Riley right? From the bar earlier tonight? It’s me, Liam, you were my waitress” 

“Oh yea, did you and your friends ever make it to Kismet?” 

“We did. Not my scene.” Liam shrugged. “Is everything alright Riley? I didn’t mean to disturb you but didn’t seem okay.” Fuck. Riley thought. “Yeah just a shitty night. What brings you to this view?” She asks, attempting to change the subject. Who is this stranger? And why does he care why someone is crying on a damn bench. “The statue was the one place I wanted to visit before we leave tomorrow but my friends weren’t interested.” Liam shrugged.  “This is where I was supposed to be tonight but things didn’t go as planned for me either. What do you say we go see her together?” Riley smiled. Oh fuck. What are you doing Riley? Ezra just left a few hours ago. There’s something about this stranger though. Riley pulls out her phone and makes a few phone calls to arrange a boat. Twice in one night. Not a coincidence Li. Fuck she’s gorgeous. I need to know why she was crying. Who did that to her? There’s something about her and I have to find out what it is. The boat reaches the dock and they board. “Wow this is nice” Liam was surprised by the elegance of the boat and the fully stocked bar in front of them. “I have connections,” Riley said, grabbing two champagne flutes and a chilled bottle of Dom Perignon. Liam took the bottle from her, popped the cork and filled both of their glasses. By the time they reached the statue they were on their second bottle of Dom. They were enjoying laughing together and forgetting all their troubles. They found solace in the company of strangers. But they weren’t strangers. Their souls knew each other. Maybe in another life. Riley thought. 

Lady Liberty drifted into view. “Wow,” Liam said in awe. “She’s gorgeous.” 

“That she is.” Riley said while she downed her glass of champagne. “I need something stronger. What do you say to some..umm..” she scans the bar “Johnnie Walker? Rocks?” 

“Neat please and yes thank you.” Liam said. He continued to stare up at the symbol. “Riley, what’s your dream?” 

“Dream? I don’t understand.” 

“We’re complete strangers in the city of dreams under the largest symbol of freedom in the world. You can’t be standing here without a dream. So tell me what’s your dream?” Liam turned to look at Riley. Riley could feel his crystal blue eyes seering into her like he was seeing her deepest darkest corners of herself. 

“My dream.. “We are asleep until we fall in love”. True love. A love I don’t think really exists.” Riley’s eyes were huge. She didn’t mean to say that. Way to go Riley! You idiot. Liam cupped her face in his hands and leaned towards her. So close she felt his breath against her lips. She couldn’t resist. She knew she should stop but she didn’t want to. She melted into his touch on her cheeks. “He stepped down, trying not to look too long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking. ” Liam whispered before he pulled her into a passionate kiss. An instant electricity flowed through his veins. Riley pulled away from the kiss reluctantly. “Tolstoy” she smiled. “I should tell the captain to take us back.” 

“Oh uh yea” Liam slid his fingers through his hair. 

“We can’t use the cabin on this boat. We can go back to my place or your hotel.” Riley winked as she pressed an intercom button and informed the captain to take them back to shore. 

They decided to go back to Riley’s place. Liam didn’t want Drake, Maxwell or Tariq to disturb them. And he wanted to learn more about her. Hopefully he remembered in the morning. 

They made it hand in hand to Riley’s building. They rode the elevator to the penthouse and walked through the door. Riley lived in a spacious three bedroom modern penthouse. It had large windows all around overlooking the Hudson River and 10 foot ceilings. Riley must be well off Liam thought. Good to know. How does a waitress afford a place like this?

“This view is unparalleled Riley!” “Thanks” Riley kicks her shoes off and flops down on her Restoration Hardware Cloud Sofa. Liam turns around and sees her lying comfortably on the couch. “We have the same couch. Restoration Hardware? “Yep,” Riley laughed, “best twelves g’s I ever spent.” Liam laughed. He sat down and pulled her ankles in his lap. 

Liam glided his fingertips across her silky calves. Fuck it Riley thought. She sat up and pulled herself into his lap and kissed him so deep Liam felt dizzy. “Riley” he moaned into her lips “I don’t know what’s happening right now but I need to feel you. Every inch of you.” “Touch me Liam”  he ripped her dress right down the middle. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” They tore the rest of each other’s clothes off until they were completely bare. Liam kissed her neck to her collar bone. Riley let out a soft moan in his ear. Her nails digging into his muscular back. Liam picked her naked body up by the backs of her thighs and pushed her back into a large window. “I want the world to know I’ve been here, Riley, inside of you. You’re a masterpiece. His fingers went to her dripping core. “Mmm baby, so wet for me?” He slammed his fingers inside her and rubbed his thumb around her clit until he brought her to the brink of an orgasm. As soon as he felt her walls flutter she plunged himself inside of her. “Oh my God” Riley screamed as she came undone at his first thrust into her. “You’re so tight Riley. I could stay like this forever.” Riley pointed to her bedroom and told Liam to take them to her bed. Without ever pulling himself out of her, he walked them to her bed and laid them both down. He thrusted slowly reveling in the feel of her. “I’ve never felt anything like this, baby” Liam said as he bucked his hips into her. Her lips crashed into hers as they bucked their hips in rhythm together until they both met their release. “Liam… will you… will you.. hold me?” “I’ll never let go,” Riley smirked at his Titanic reference.

Liam laid back on the pillows with his arms wrapped tightly around Riley holding her against his chest. Liam pointed to the debris on the floor, “What happened over there? “Oh...I threw it against the wall. It’s a long story.” Riley got out of bed and grabbed her silk robe off the chair next to the bed. She tied the sash and walked out onto the balcony. She gripped the railing and took a deep breath. She had sobered up from their time at the Statue of Liberty. Liam walked out with the sheet wrapped around his waist. His arms snaking around her waist. He leaned his chin on her shoulder. 

“Liam…” Riley turned around looking into his blue eyes. “I’ve never felt like this. How I feel right now with you… I know Ezra just left. And I know how I should feel but I.. when we.. touch it’s like.. 

Liam leaned in and kissed her. His hands going under her thighs to lift her, not breaking the kiss at all. Riley pulled back. Her arms went around his neck. “Tonight I thought Ezra was going to propose. Instead I came home to a letter saying he left the country and wanted to move on. So two years wasted. That was tonight.” Liam kissed her and walked to the bed laying on top of her. “I’ll hold your hand while the ship goes down” Liam whispers in her ear. They got lost in each other again and she forgot about Ezra and he forgot about his future. 

They spent the entire night talking and getting lost in each other. He told her about his brother and the social season. About the pressure from his father now that he was the crown prince. She told him about the death of her parents and her aunt that raised her. She told him her parents had left her multiple trusts and real estate throughout the world. Liam felt a void he never knew existed being filled by her presence. 

Liam woke up forgetting where he was. He looked over and realized he was still in Riley’s penthouse. She was sound asleep with her head on his chest. 

“Riley..” Liam whispered. “Wake up beautiful” Riley stretched out and smacked Liam right in the face. She sat up stunned. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Liam laughed. “Want to have breakfast with me before I have to leave?” Liam said. 

“Sure.” She replied. 

A short while later they walked into Liam’s suite at the hotel. Riley let out a whistle. “We should have stayed here last night” she laughed. Liam smirked. “Being a prince has its perks. This is one of them.”  Liam called down for room service and ordered a whole spread of belgian waffles, cinnamon rolls, bacon, fruit.. He ordered EVERYTHING. “So Riley tell me more about you.” “Like what?” “Everything start from the beginning.” “It’s not that interesting Liam.” “Room service”, the attendant yelled from outside the suite door. Liam opened the door and pulled the cart in. He tipped the attendant, “let’s eat and you can tell me everything about you.” 

“I was born and raised in Connecticut. My parents and my brother still live there. We’re close. My parents are both attorneys and my brother followed in their footsteps.” Riley said while chewing her waffle. Liam listened intently absorbing her every word like it was his last meal. “I went to law school at NYU but ended up with a Bachelor’s in English with emphasis in creative writing. Hence working at the bar.” She laughed. “And Ezra?” Liam asked sipping his orange juice. “I might need to add some champagne to that orange juice for this.. Better yet Vodka.” She rolled her eyes. “We met in my language and logistics class. We dated for a couple years. Nothing out of the ordinary I guess. He was supposed to propose but left for a new job. Whatever. Wasn’t meant to be.” She took a big swig of her mimosa. “Did you love him?” Liam asked. Riley just stared at him. “No one has ever asked me that before.” She pondered the answer to his question. “Before yesterday I would have said yes. But now since I’ve met you… It wasn’t love. It became robotic. Honestly I’m glad he left, because I wouldn’t have been the one to call it quits. I hope the best for him wherever he is.” She shrugged. “I wish I had done everything on Earth with you” she wanted to say. 

“What about you?” She asked him. “What about me, what do you want to know?” “Everything, start from the beginning.”

“Well I was born in Cordonia obviously. My Dad is King. My mom died when I was young. My step-mom Regina is kind but ya know.. She’s not my mom. My brother Leo abdicated. He found some girl and they’re traveling the world together. I’m glad he’s happy.” “Relationships?” She sat back in her chair, full from her breakfast. “I’ve never really had an actual serious relationship. I mean don’t get me wrong, there have been women, but no one that I wanted to have breakfast with the next morning.” He winked. “Because I’m going to be King I have to have a social season to pick who will be the next queen. It’s an old and stupid tradition. But Cordonia is nothing without her traditions.”

 “Social season, what's that?”

 “Basically it’s just going through the motions and pleasing the nobles and the citizens of the country. And then at the end, I'm expected to choose the woman best fitting to run the country.” He replied. 

She could tell he didn't want to talk about this very much. “What about you?” She asked. “No one really cares about me as a person, only as the future king. I am expected to just enter into a Cordonian marriage agreement. Which is basically, a mistress. It’s a shitty concept.” Riley didn't seem fazed at all by his admission. He raised his eyebrows quizzically. “You don’t seem to care..” 

“Not really, Liam, that came out wrong. I do care about you. Not about where you come from.” 

Care about me? Where did this beautiful woman come from? 

He stood from his sweet and pulled her into a deep kiss. “Liam.. I.. what is this?” 

“Swoon, I’ll catch you.” He said against her lips. “Come home with me.”

“To Cordonia?” “What about your social season?” 

“You can join, my friend Max will sponsor you.” “But.. another country? My family..”

“Riley.. I think I’d miss you even if we never met. Please come. My soul needs you.” 

What do you have to lose Riley? A whirlwind one night stand with a Cordonian Prince. I’ve never even heard of Cordonia. She made a mental note to Google it. Mom and Dad will be livid. They might cut off my trust fund. Fuck it. He might be worth it. The way he kisses me makes me feel like he is the only thing worth it. 

“Okay Liam, I’ll come.” “Riley.. One night with you changed my life. They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true.” He whispered wrapping his arms tightly around her. “It’s the romantic quotes, isn’t it?” He laughed kissing her neck. “I want to formally introduce you to my friends, you remember them don’t you?” “Yea, I remember them. I wonder how they will react. One question though.. Love of your life?” 

“You want the moon Riley? Just say the word, and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. You changed my life. I can’t leave without you. I’ve been searching all my life for you and never even knew it.” 

'Cause suddenly, it hits me

As I watch you make believe

I want to make this your reality

And if you'll be my leading lady

Even though I may look crazy

I'll grab your hand, ask you to dance

In the middle of the street

Learn to sign, cheesy lines

Like "Baby, you complete me"And in case you forget

Where we've been and what we did

I'll write it all down, read it out loud

Again and again

“Come on, let’s go meet Drake, Max and Tariq. We have to introduce my future queen.” 

“I promise if you’ll let me, I’ll love you like the movies,” Riley said. “I’m the King of the world.” Liam replied. 

[harry-styles-sunflower]

Wandering Hands Part 1

Hellooo everyone! I hope you are all having a lovely day! SO this is Part 1 of Wandering Hands. 

What it is: You and Harry become friends but you come with certain baggage that might make any other man run. 

Word count: 6.2k 

Warning: death and angst? (lmk if i forgot one!) 

Pls reblog if you like it :) Thanks in advance for the support! 

~~~

It was a long day after work and you had no one but yourself to worry about tonight. It was Friday, you were at Joe’s, the bar across your apartment. You’d come in regularly. Only about every other weekend. You were drinking your troubles away with a Manhattan. The bar wasn’t too full, it was only happy hour. You heard the bell ding behind you meaning someone walked in. Some man approached the bar as you finished your drink.

“Hello, can I get a glass of your most recommended wine?” You felt him look over at you, “and a refill on whatever she’s having” he paid Joe and sat a stool away from you.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to” you slid your glass away from you.

“No problem, I wanted to” you nodded and watched the tv. Joe served you your Manhattan and the man his wine. You knew it was a glass of his Château Cheval-Blanc because you had had it yourself once. 4 years ago.

“You know, I never understood baseball too much.”

You drank your drink and looked at him from the corner of your eye. Was he talking to you or Joe? You looked around you and you were the only one close enough to hear him and Joe was busy.

“It’s a good sport if you understand it” you shrugged.

“Care to explain it to me?” He moved to the stool next to you.

You swallowed your drink and looked at the screen. You had no interest in getting a good look at the man next to you anyway.

“English?”

“Precisely.”

“The Red Sox and Yankees played in London a few years ago.”

“Wasn’t home.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah”

“Well Um. 9 innings, 3 strikes you’re out. Guy on the circle in the middle? That’s called a mound. His position is a pitcher- “

“Isn’t that what you guys pour juice out of?”

“Yeah we use the same word for a lot of things, don’t interrupt,” he smiled at you, “he’s a pitcher. He throws to the guy across him, the catcher. Catcher signals him what kind of ball to throw in between his legs. He does it based off the batter’s weakness. There’re 4 bases. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and home. When the batter hits it, he hopes no one in the outfield catches it or it gets out of park. If they catch it while it was in the air he’s out, if they catch it after it’s hit the ground he can run as fast as he can to whatever base is available. But like in order. Oh, also if someone in the outfield catches the ball, they’re gonna throw it to one of the basemen so they can tag the batter running. But if the batter touches the base before they’re tagged then they’re safe.”

He nodded along so you knew he was listening.

“Can I ask a question now?”

You nodded and sipped your drink.

“How do you know it’s a strike?”

“Oh, my bad. See the box on the screen? If it gets in there it’s a strike. Outside the box it’s a no ball but we usually just say ball.”

He nodded and gestured to your drink, “refill?”

“Oh no, I’m good. I need water” He ordered one for you and Joe gave you a knowing look and you just shook your head at him. You two were basically friends now. He’d gotten to know you over the past 4 years. You lived across the street for 5 but you came in 4 years ago. Joe came and gave you your water and you drank it slowly and watched the game. It was Yankees v. Red Sox. The Red Sox made a homer and you shook your head.

“Yankees fan?”

“Yep. We’re in New York. Kind of against the law to be anything else.”

He laughed and sipped his wine. He hadn’t drunken much, he gave you all his attention while you spoke. “My dad was a big Yankee fan. I’ve been one since the day I was born. My mom says she pushed me out and when the doctor put me in her arms the Yankees had won the game. We used to go to a game like every year when I was a kid.”

“Are they as fun as they seem?”

“Even better. During the commercials on tv, sometimes the outfield players play catch with the people on the side or they play a video of the players talking or play a game with the crowd”

“That’s pretty cool,” he put his hand in front of you, “I’m Harry by the way”. You looked at his hand and put yours in it and shook it.

“Y/n” you looked over at him. You finally took a good look at his face. He was gorgeous you couldn’t deny it. He had strong facial features. Short stubble and green eyes. They were bright. Different than your own dark eyes. He made eye contact with you for a few seconds before you turned back to the screen and drank your water.

“If you’re from England, are you here for business or pleasure?” It was New York, people came and went. Travelled. But in your small town about 30 minutes north from the city, no one really came through here unless they knew someone.

“I uh I’ve been here for about a year but I just moved to the area recently. Got a little tired of the city life, but didn’t want to be too far. I work as an editor at Simon & Schuster.”

“Wow. That’s a good job. Hell of a commute I assume?”

“About 1 hour every morning. It’s worth it. Sleep without the sound of horns or sirens”

“True.”

He turned on his stool to face you and you faced him. Your knees were touching.

“So, what do you do?”

“Teach. I��m a teacher. 7th grade social studies. Actually, I taught the Boston Tea party today” you smirked at him and put one arm up on the bar and leaned against your hand and one hand on your knee. Some fingers accidentally touched his knee but your knees were touching. You couldn’t prevent it from happening

“Ahh” he moved a pointed finger at you. You laughed and so did he. He had dimples. Cute. “Such a petty thing if you ask me” he shrugged.

You laughed and shook your head.

“A lot of history is petty.”

“Do you like teaching?” He put himself in the same position as you, his fingers brushing yours too.

“I guess. I love my kids and filling their minds with knowledge but the standards and requirements are a pain in the ass”

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard about that. Not too much freedom”

“Yeah. Like if I want to take them to a museum, I need to find a standard that validates that museum will teach them according to that standard”

“Wow. The museums here are basically free too right?”

“Yep.”

He shakes his head and sips his drink.

“It’s been like an hour and you’re still drinking your wine”

“Well Ms. Judgey, it’s a good wine. I’m savoring it.”

“It is good. I’ve had it. And I’m not judgey. I was just saying it must be warm now.”

“Eh. It’s still chill. Thanks for caring though” he grinned at you.

You rolled your eyes and finished your water.

“When did you have it?”

“Huh?”

“The wine”

“Oh, um four years ago”

“That’s precise”

“It was on an anniversary of something.”

“Wedding anniversary?” He laughed.

“Death anniversary actually.” His face stilled and he became pale.

“Shit I’m so sorry for laughing.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t know.”

“Shouldn’t have assumed.”

You saw him looking at you like he wanted to know who it was but would never dare to ask. You debated telling him. You turned back towards the screen, leaving his knees cold. He felt he had lost any chance he thought he had with you. He liked talking to you.

“Joe, jack and coke please”

He nodded and brought it to you. You chugged it down. Harry put his head in his hands. He had driven you to drink. Yikes.

“It was my husband. He died.”

He lifted his head from his hands and looked over at you. You were a widow. You looked so young. He felt bad you had to go through such pain.

“I’m sorry for your loss”

“Thanks. It was 5 years ago. I’m alright”

He nodded. Too scared to say the wrong thing.

“He was in the service. Died in Iraq.”

“Oh wow…” he was surprised you were opening up to him. Perhaps it was the liquid courage.

“Came with the territory, I guess. We were together for 10 years. Married for 5. Widowed for 5 now. If you’re trying to do the math we were high school sweethearts. Started at 15. Married at 20. He died at 25. Yes, I’m 30.” You drank your leftover water.

“Erm… Wow. Well you look good” he was nervous.

You laughed lightly and said thanks.

“Guess I scared you away now didn’t I?”

“No no! Not at all I just don’t want to fuck up and say the wrong thing.”

“Harry it’s been 5 years I’m good. I’m religious, I coped well”

“Oh okay.”

“Stop being nervous!” You laughed.

“I can’t help it!” He laughed lightly.

“I’ve got a big curveball for you,” you turned to face him and you put your hands on his shoulders as he faced you.

“I see what you did there. Curveball” he tilted his head toward the tv.

“Ooh yeah. I didn’t even notice. Well are you ready?”

“I think?”

“I have a son.”

It was what he thought. Didn’t know if he fully expected it though.

“Okay. Curveball caught? Strike? What’s the big deal?”

“Wait what? You’re not thrown off?” You were shocked. His face barely twitched or showed any surprised expression.  

“No?” He shrugged. “It’s a child. I guess I kind of expected maybe something after you said you were together for 10 years.” He finished his wine.

“Fair enough.”

“So, where is he? If you’re here”

“In-laws. They take him every other weekend. Or just from Friday till Saturday.”

“You get along with them?”

You shrugged. “I think they thought I wanted him to sign up for the force. I didn’t. Obviously. It’s a death sentence. I just wanted to support my boyfriend at the time,” He nodded as you spoke, “but they love Sam and are always there for him”

“Sam huh?”

“Samuel. He’s 7”

“Good age”

“Yeah. He’s a lil sarcastic but I blame myself. I could be that way so he’s only doing what he’s learned. But he’s really smart. He’s obsessed with rocks. Been that way since he could walk”

“That’s cute I won’t lie”

“Thanks” you laughed. You liked his company. He was easy to talk to. You had found it easy to open up. He didn’t seem creepy either. Like he just wanted to get in your pants.

“Well it’s been lovely boys, but I have a little boy I have to be up for in the morning. His grandma wants to have brunch”

You stood up and so did Harry.

“Wait let me walk you to your car.”

You lived across the street but he didn’t have to know that. Joe hid his smile when you said “okay”. Harry paid Joe for both of your tabs and walked out with you. It wasn’t too late, 6 pm. You walked to your car and his was coincidentally in front of yours.

“So um. It was nice meeting you. I enjoyed your company”

You fiddled with your keys and looked up at him.

“Yeah I did too.” you said.

“Would it be too forward if I asked for your number?” he was biting the inside of his cheek, you could tell.

Guys had hit on you before. But the wounds were too fresh and Sam was too young. He’s still young but he’s smart, and he knows some days you feel lonely. As much as you convinced him that he was the only man you needed he knew the truth. You liked his company and conversations. So, you said,

“I don’t think so,” you held your hand out for his phone and he placed it in your hand. You put your number in as “y/n 🥃🍷”. Ball was in his court now.

“Cute” you both laughed.

“I’ll text you” he said

“Mhm” yeah. Sure.

“Are you gonna get in your car?”

“Oh, it’s fine you don’t have to wait” please don’t make me get in my car. I live here.  

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t wait until you at least got in to your car?”

Okay you were a little impressed. Fair enough.

“Very true actually. Well bye, Harry”

“Nuh uh. It’s see you soon. I’m serious about texting you”

“Okay” you laughed and got in your car.

He got in his and you waited for him to pull out.

 Once he was past the traffic light you got out and went up to your apartment. You called Sam’s grandma the second you got in. He picked up with an ecstatic voice.

“Hi ma!”

“Hi baby, how are you? Everything okay?”

“Yeah! We’re bowling. I’ve gotten 2 strikes!”

“Oh wow. Look at you!”

“Grandpa says dad was good at bowling”

Your heart broke just a little. It bothered you a little when they spoke about him to Sam. You knew he was their son but they didn’t know how much Sam cried sometimes wishing he got to know his dad. You only spoke about him when Sam asked about him or mentioned him.

“Yeah he was actually. When we were younger, we went on a date and he won one round and I won the other. But we were too broke to buy another round so we left it a tie” you laughed at the memory. Just 15-year-old kids.

“You were broken?”

“No sorry hon, I mean we didn’t have enough money to pay for another round”

“Ohh okay.” You forgot sometimes Sam was only seven because he was so smart sometimes.

“Yeah. Well can you put your grandma on for me hon?”

“Yeah okay. I can stay over?”

“Yeah of course. As long as you want to and don’t feel forced to okay?” You knew sometimes he didn’t want to because of how much they spoke about his dad. On those weekends you faked he had a tummy ache.

“Yeah okay. Here’s grandma” he passed the phone to your in-law. You could never say ex. Your husband wasn’t an ex.

“Hello?” Her tone was already unwelcoming.

“Hey, just wanted to confirm we’re still on for 11?”

“Yeah. I haven’t cancelled.” Translation: did I tell you we weren’t going?

“Okay. Sounds great. See you there”

“Okay” she hung up.

“Yeah okay bye. Geez” you slammed your phone on the table and rubbed your temples. She was always so rude to you. When he died, she said it was your fault he left. She apologized for that but it was still something she said. You can’t take words back. You left your phone on the table and went to shower. You just wanted to take a warm shower, relax your muscles, wear some cozy pajamas, drink some tea, and watch friends until you fell asleep. Friends never did you wrong. So that’s what you did. You remember to set your alarm for tomorrow but you also remembered you left your phone on your kitchen table. With a groan because you found the position and you knew you wouldn’t find it again, you got up and got your phone. You saw you had a text from a random number. When you unlocked your phone, the message said

H: Hey, it’s Harry.

You felt bad for making him wait but whatever.

Y/n: hey

You got back into bed, not finding the position again and kept your phone next to you. Your phone lit up about a minute or two later.

H: what’s up? Did you get home safe?

Y/n: oh yeah. Thanks. You?

H: Yeah, I did thanks. So, what’s up?

Y/n: watching friends, you?

H: Same actually. Nick@nite?

Y/n: Yup 😂

H: I’m happy they play this. Especially since Netflix took friends off.

Y/n: Same. Friends is like my bedtime story now. I watch it every night

H: favorite character?

Y/n: I think it depends the season? Like I love Ross in season 9 and I love the rest. I couldn’t pick

H: I agree.

H: Would you want to FaceTime?

You thought about it. Did you want to?

H: We don’t have to if you don’t want to. (Sorry for the spam of messages btw)

You laughed at the last bit.

Y/n: we can FaceTime :)

“Harry would like FaceTime…” you slid your finger across the screen.

“Hello”

“Hey” he smiled into the camera.      

“You look cozy” he was wearing a brown robe thing w a hood from what you could see.

“Ooh I am,” he looked up at the tv, “why are birth control commercials so odd?”

They were playing a commercial for lo loestrin fe and the cartoon bought what was supposed to be lingerie and was showing her boyfriend you assume.

“I hated that pill. It was the worst one I’ve ever tried”

“Really?”

“Yeah it made me gain weight and tons of acne”

“It sucks that all that comes with just trying to prevent pregnancy”

“Yeah. You males have it so lucky”

“Well if they came out with a male one, I’d take it”

You laughed a little too loud.

“You think you’d be able to remember?”

“I’d just take it in the morning. Like a vitamin”

You noticed the way he pronounced vitamin. It was a little different. Cute different.

“I used to take mine at night, just before bed. It was easier that way for me”

He nodded at you and the show had come back. You think that maybe that whole conversation was TMI for your first FaceTime call. The episode The One in Barbados. You both laughed at Monica’s hair.

“Kind of didn’t like the whole Joey and Rachel plot line” He said while looking at the tv screen. It was like you guys were together in the same room and his company was nice on this lonely night.

“Yeah same. It was wack” he laughed at that.

“I think I love phoebe”

“Same, Regina Phalange”

“It’s actually princess consuela bananahammock.” He said with a straight face. You cracked up at his little joke and kept watching the tv.

 A few hours later and friends was over. You and Harry were basically playing 21 questions.

“any pets?” You asked.

“Nah, I work too long” you nodded.

“Favorite flower?”

“Sunflowers or tulips”

“Interesting choices”

“Thank you” you smiled. You were now in bed laying down against your pillow, “do you live in a house?”

“Yeah. Small but yeah”

“I used to, but a year after he died, I had to sell it. I like the small space better. It’s more homelike for just us 2”

He nodded and listened. “What time is lunch with your in law?”

You liked how he didn’t say ex in laws. It was a small thing but you noticed.

“11:00”

“Oh okay”

“Yeah”

“Y/n, um. I’d like to take you out. On a proper date. But I know you’re probably really busy. So, um do you think you could let me know when you’re free? If you wanted to go out on a date with me that is”

“Yeah sure” you bit back your smile. You had never done this before. Well not after your husband. It would be your first date in 5 years. You just got a good feeling from Harry.

“Oh okay” he was a little shocked.

“If not this week, then the next. Maybe Friday”

“Yeah that’s good with me”

“Well uh, I’m gonna go to sleep Harry. It was nice meeting you today”

“Yeah it was for me too, meeting you. Goodnight. Sweet dreams”

“Yeah thank you. Goodnight” you smiled and hung up. You felt giddy and happy. You looked at your bedside table and it was a picture of you on your wedding day staring back at you. You knew he would want you to move on already. You smiled and contently fell asleep.

~~~

You woke up around 9:45 to give yourself enough time to get ready. It was nice being able to sleep in a bit. Sam was always up by 8. You remembered your conversation with Harry last night. You haven't had a conversation like that in years. You'd just recently decided that you'd be open for a relationship but you weren't on any dating apps or anything either. Going with the flow you guess. You got ready quickly and drove to the restaurant where you were meeting your boy and your in-laws. You stepped out your car and so did they. Sam looked around before running to you. You opened your arms for him and he hugged you tight.

"Ugh my baby I missed you so much last night!" you kissed his forehead.

"I missed you too ma," he kissed your cheek.

You picked him up and spun him around making you both giggle.

"y/n", your mother in law said.

"Lydia, how are you?" She held her purse in front of her as you put Sam down.

"I'm good, you?"

"Good."

Your father in law approached you. He was quieter and more reserved. The loss of his son hit him hard. The two were close. He did watch out for you a bit more than Lydia. Lydia's priority was Sam, William's priorities were you and Sam.

"Hi William, how are you?"

He gave you a hug and you guys walked into the restaurant.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good, thank you."

You guys got settled into a booth and you already knew what you all wanted. This wasn’t the first time.

"Sam told me his science teacher is being hard on him," Lydia spoke without looking away from you. She was looking at your clothes and makeup. Seeing if it was up to her standards.

"Yes, he told me too. I already told him what to do."

"And what was that?" Here we go. Here's the thing. Lydia was your husband's mother. When he passed, she wanted to be her grandson's mother as well.

You held in a sigh before speaking. "I told him to work hard during school but if she specifically targets him repeatedly to let me know and I'll handle it."

She nodded and stayed quiet. Thank God.

"Mami, your phone vibrated," Also, your husband was Italian. You were Hispanic so you were trying to teach Sam some of his Hispanic side as his grandparents taught him mostly his Italian side. They more so taught him stuff about the culture and food, but none of the language. They swore they knew it but you've never heard them speak it.

"Thank you for letting me know mijo, but since we're all together I'll check it later." you kissed his head.

You and your husband had done a good job. He was a perfect mix from both of you. He had brown curly hair, like you. Hazel eyes like his dad. Dark eyelashes like you. A button nose like his dad that was covered in freckles like yours. Plump lips like the both of you. The food came and you all began eating.

"We wanted to talk to you about something." you felt Sam put his hand on your knee. Uh oh. He was preparing you for something he knew you may not like.

"Okay, what is it?"

William spoke up, "Well, winter break is coming up and we wanted to take Sam away for a week."

You almost choked on your food. A week? Them? With your son? Were they insane? Okay maybe you were being a little dramatic but what?!

"Um, where?" you tried to seem open about the idea.

"Blue mountain. We would go snow tubing and other things in the snow." Lydia said.

"For a week? Snow tubing for a week? That sounds more like a weekend thing to me." you ate your eggs.

"Well we would look in the town for other things to do obviously," Lydia snickered like you had sounded ridiculous. She better not start with an attitude you thought. She was asking you for a favor not the other way around. So instead of giving her a direct answer, you said "I'll think about it." You needed to talk to Sam if this was something he wanted to do or they wanted to do.

You guys had finished eating and you all eventually said goodbye. Sam wanted to come back home instead of staying Sunday. Sometimes he just wanted extra time with you.

~~~

You were driving home from unsuccessful shoe shopping when you heard Sam's little voice come from the backseat.

"Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad. Why would you say that?"

"Because grandma was kind of rude to you when you said it wasn't a week long thing." Every year he became more observant.

"Well I mean I didn't like that but I'm not mad. I don't let your grandmother ruin my mood."

"Okay"

"Do you wanna go?"

"I don’t know… I do but not for a week. That's too long away from you."

Your heart warmed a little and you nodded. "I'd feel that way too."

"Did dad like snow tubing?"

"I'm not sure bud, we never went"

"Oh."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't go. I went when I was younger with my mom and sister, we made it a girl's trip. It was a lot of fun."

"Really? What if we went just us two?"

"Hm I don’t know bud; I think your grandparents might get sad. I think I can tell them it will only have to be for a weekend and then you and I could go another time. Just us two."

"Umm okay that sounds good. I agree."

"Good." you pulled in front of your building.

"What was dad's favorite season?"

"Fall. He hated the heat, but he hated being too cold. And he'd get the worst allergies in the spring and he had this weird pet peeve for sneezing. It was kind of funny seeing him get frustrated though. He would look like he wanted to rip his nose off." You held his hand as you walked inside. He giggled at what you said. When you both got inside to your apartment you both took off your shoes and sweaters. You had a picture of your husband on a small table by your entrance. Every time you walked in Sam would say "Hi dad!" to it. He asked if he could watch some Disney XD for a bit and you said it was fine. You were going to make some dinner. You checked your phone and saw Harry had texted you. You were a little shocked he kept up with talking to you.

H: Hey, good afternoon. I hope brunch went well :)

y/n: Hey it did, I guess.

H: You guess?

y/n: Eh they want something, felt like a setup?

H: Ah. I get what you mean. Sorry it happened.

y/n: It's alright. I got my boy back so I'm happy.

H: Good. I'd love to meet him someday to be honest. He sounds adorable.

You thought about his text. How would Sam react? He's always saying for you to get a friend but what would happen when you actually did? It made you nervous to think about. You felt your phone vibrate again.

H: Uh sorry if that was too forward.

y/n: No, its fine. It was sweet.

H: Okay good.

"Ma?"

You jumped up slightly like you had been caught doing something bad.

"Who are you texting? You never text this much" he was grinning at you. He was happy?

"Um none ya beeswax"

"It is my beeswax when it's taking time away from you cooking my dinner," you gave him a warning look. Dang smart ass. Gets it from you. He mumbled a "Sorry" and sat up on the stool and leaned on your countertop.

"I made a friend that’s all okay?"

"A guy friend?" he smirked.

You turned to get a pot. "Mhm"

"What's his name?"

"Harry."

"I like that name."

"You would like any name if it meant I had a friend."

He giggled and nodded. "Does he know about me?"

"Of course he does. You think I could not talk about you?"

"Okay okay," he blushed slightly, "Is he nice?"

"Yeah he's pretty nice."

"Are you gonna go on a date?"

"Samuel! He's a friend!" you playfully yelled at him.

"Mom I'm not 5, I know you might want a little BOYfriend"

"Sam you are 7, and how do you even know what a boyfriend is." you were talking to him as you gathered all your ingredients.

"Grandma told me about boyfriends and girlfriends"

"Now what is she doing telling you about that?" you looked at him.

"Well we saw a couple at the bowling alley and they kissed and I said ew and she said it’s because they were boyfriend and girlfriend so she explained what that meant to me."

"Hm, okay." you trusted she gave him a good and appropriate definition.

"Do you have a picture of him?"

"We just met yesterday" you say as you open and close cabinets.

"Does he like baseball?"

"I actually had to explain the sport to him. He's not from here." you started cooking.

"Where's he from? Is he from where dad used to work?"

"No, way off. He's from a place called England."

"Where the Beatles are from!"

"Exactly," you smiled at him. He was a classic soul.

“That’s cool”

“Yeah his voice is different too”  

“I wanna meet him” he put his chin in his palm, “It’d be nice to be around another guy that isn’t grandpa.”

“He uh actually said he wants to meet you too but I think we should wait a bit. I think I should get to know him better before you meet him” You stir your pasta in the pot.

“Okay” he tapped your phone screen, “he texted you”

“Thanks, nosey” you took your phone and read his message. You had forgotten to respond.

Y/n: hey sorry was cooking dinner for the hungry boy and I

H: it’s alright. What’s on the menu?

Y/n: pasta. Penne ala vodka with some shrimp. Probably some garlic bread too. Lazy meal

H: lazy? sounds glorious.

You laughed as you texted.

“Oooh he’s making you laugh!” Sam giggled.

You covered your face and told him to go to his room to make sure he had done his homework. Tomorrow you were going to Chuck E Cheese so he wouldn’t have time to do it then.

Y/n: we’ll see how it tastes

H: do you like to cook?

Y/n: I do but I run out of things to cook so I get bored

H: yeah same. I like to experiment though.

You were feeling a little confident and flirtatious

Y/n: maybe you could show me sometime

H: yeah. That’d be fine with me 😊

You bit your lip unsure of what to say. It had been a while since you were back on the flirting scene. You felt your phone vibrate again.

H: are you vegetarian or anything? Gonna think of some ideas from now.

Y/n: I don’t follow any specific diet but I definitely don’t eat a lot of meat. More of a seafood person.

H: gotcha ;)

Y/n: ;)?

H: don’t like it?

Y/n: eh it’s alright 🤷🏻‍♀️

H: alright?

Y/n: mhmm

H: you’re teasing me, aren’t you?

Y/n: just a lil bit 🤏🏻

H: 😂😂

You finished up cooking dinner and called Sam. He came down quickly and mumbled a small yum.

Y/n: I’ll talk to you later. Gonna eat now.

H: okay 🥰

You served you and Sam plates and you both ate quietly as you watched some tv. You would say you were pretty lenient with Sam. He was very mature for his age and he respected you greatly. He barely gave you a hard time. You think he got that from his dad. His dad always wanted to please you any chance he got.

“Mami, can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

“How come, hon?”

“It’s comfier” you laughed at this because you would say the same thing to your parents when you were younger.

“Okay. But you know you can’t always sleep in Mami’s bed. You gotta sleep in your own some nights.”

“Yeah I know,” he smiled at you.

“Alright. Well can I trust you’ll bathe yourself good tonight? I don’t have to help you?”

“Yes ma, I’ll remember to wash myself good.”

“Okay, remember to get in between your toes and everything”

He nodded at you. You two finished your plates and you sent him off to shower. He kept the door open just in case he needed your help opening one of the bottles. You remembered the first bath you ever gave him. He was so much smaller compared to now and his dad kept complaining about how slippery he was. You were only 23 with a new job and new home but you were both so happy with your little boy. You cleaned up the kitchen and went up to bed where your little boy was already waiting. He had turned on the tv and was watching friends. You showered quickly before getting in bed with him. He cuddled up to your side and laid his head on your chest. You massaged your fingers into his damp curls until you heard him snore lightly. You fixed him onto your other pillow and fell asleep on yours.

~~~

The weekend had ended and you hadn’t heard from Harry. That was before you remembered you were the one who hadn’t answered. It was now Monday afternoon and you were picking up Sam from school. You worked at a middle school just a block away. Sam hopped into your car and told you about his day.

"Can I go to Justin's house tomorrow afterschool?"

"Is Justin's parents okay with this?"

"Yeah, we'll do our homework first too!"

"Alright, you better do it because when you get home I'm checking it all"

"Okay!"

You guys walked into your apartment and Sam went up to shower. That was the routine after school. He showers while you make a snack, after that he comes down and eats while you shower, you grade papers while he does homework, and then if he's done you let him watch some Disney channel while you make dinner. This is exactly how your evening rolls out and you decide to text Harry.

y/n: hey sorry. Busy day yesterday. You wanted me to let you know when I was free and I'm free tomorrow after 3...

You stop typing, "Sam, until when are staying at Justin's?"

"Until like 6? He said his mom was gonna cook"

"Okay," you continue typing,

y/n: Hey sorry. Busy day yesterday. You wanted me to let you know when I was free and I'm free tomorrow after 3 until like 6. I know its late notice so no worries if you're not free too.

You finish cooking, eating, and cleaning and you still hadn't heard from Harry. He was probably mad at you now. You sighed aloud and thought well it was nice while it lasted. You went over Sam's homework with him and then made sure he brushed his teeth before bed. You tucked him in and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

"Goodnight my love," you pushed his hair back off his forehead.

"Goodnight mami, goodnight dad" he blows a kiss toward the picture of him and his dad on his bedside table.

You walked out his room leaving his door ajar and walked down to your room. You grab your book and climb into bed. It was the book from Jane the Virgin. You related to Jane in multiple ways. As you were becoming a part of the fictitious world of the character Josephine you felt your phone vibrate.

H: Banzai, 3:30pm, Be there or be square.

You smiled at his assertiveness. It was kind of cute.

H: If that's okay with you.

y/n: Yes, that's fine lol😂😂

He could never be too serious you thought.

H: watching friends?

y/n: actually reading.

H: what are you reading?

y/n: snow falling, it’s from a show and stuff.

H: look at the publishing company

You looked and sure enough it was Simon & Schuster. Wow.

y/n: Wow lol, I never noticed.

H: I've read it, it's pretty good. More of a girly book, I think.

Y/n: I can’t imagine you reading this tbh.

H: it was a hard manuscript to get through. Kept me on my toes.

You continued texting and before you knew it, it was 2 in the morning.

y/n: wow its 2am.

H: I know. Time flew. You're so easy to talk to.

y/n: I could say the same about you.

H: I'm excited for later

y/n: so am I, free food.

H:😐😐😐

y/n: I'm joking!

H: sure you are.

y/n: I am, I'm excited too because I miss your company, its nice.

H: I don't have a company

y/n: Harry

H: okay okay, thank you. Get some rest, you've gotta be up early.

y/n: true, see you later! 😊

H: see you🥰

~~~

Part two is up now!

[amythedvdhoarder]

I Want You

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Written for Laur’s Quarantine Writing Challenge. Her work is always amazing so check it out @fvckingavengers​

Song Prompt: I want you – Nick Jonas. Lyrics in italics throughout (and the title)

Word count: 3.6K

Summary: Bucky messed up but he can’t live without you. He wants you and has to get you back

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff and smut 18+ only (covered all bases here I think!)

Authors notes: GIF not mine. Ahhh so happy to be writing again. It is my first song prompt and was so fun to write. Gotta love some arguments and the eventual making up. I don’t write smut very often but hope you like it. Really tempted to do a follow up if people are interested? Feedback is always welcome so please let me know what you think x

Here is my masterlist if you want to read any of my other Bucky one-shots!

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The knocking at your door woke you up with a start. You looked across at the clock and saw it was 2 in the morning. There was another loud bang on the door. You groaned, flicked on the bedside lamp and dragged yourself out of bed to the front door of your apartment. Glancing through the peephole in the door you sighed. “Bucky go away, I don’t want to talk to you. It’s the middle of the night for fucks sake.” You saw as he moved closer to the door. “Would you let me in, or I’m breaking in ‘cause I ain’t gonna let you go.” Knowing full well that the super soldier would follow through with his threat, you started to unlock the door. Bucky strode into the room as soon as you opened the front door, his hands running through his short locks. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, stress etched across his handsome features. “Just so you know, I’m only letting you in because I don’t want to piss off the neighbours.”

“Y/N, I want you and no one else” Anger surged through your body. “I’m not having this conversation again Bucky. If you wanted me that bad then you wouldn’t be afraid to tell people about me and you definitely wouldn’t be eye fucking and flirting with other women in front of me.” Bucky’s head dropped, you were right that he hadn’t behaved how he should, treated you the way you deserved, but he did want you. He watched as you walked back towards your bed and climbed in, pulling the duvet around you. “Y/N come on. Can you please just listen to what I have to say?” You groaned and slammed you head back again the pillows. “Fine but not now, I’m fucking knackered alright. I’ll listen to what you have to say in the morning.” Bucky shifted nervously. “Um can I crash here?” Although Bucky couldn’t see your face he knew you would be rolling your eyes. “Whatever. The sofa is all yours. Don’t mistake this as an act of kindness or a sign I want to get back together. I just can’t be bothered to argue with you at 2 in the fucking morning.” He threw his arms up in surrender and headed towards the sofa, pulling off his jacket and shoes. Just as he was unbuckling his belt something large a soft hit him in the back. He turned and picked up the pillow you had just thrown at him and smiled to himself. Clearly you cared about him on some level. “Thanks Y/N” You responded only by waving your arm back at him. “See you in the morning” This time all he got was a grunt as you turned off the lamp, throwing the apartment into darkness. Bucky silently finished undressing, leaving him in just his boxers. He pulled the knitted throw off the back of the sofa and got himself as comfortable as he could.

He was going to fix this. He had to fix this, he was crazy about you. You had dated for over 6 months. Those 6 months had been the happiest of his life.

----------

The first time he had met you was in the library, he was looking for a book by an author that Wanda had recommended. You had been sat at one of the desks marking some exam papers, hair pulled up into a messy bun, glasses perched on the end of your nose. He had been so distracted by the cute face you were pulling that he dropped the book he was pulling from the shelf, the noise when it hit the wooden floor had made you jump. “Shit” Bucky had said rather loudly making you look around to find the source of the interruption. He had grimaced as your eyes met and shrugged apologetically.  You had just smiled and returned to marking your papers.

He had lingered in the library far longer than normal until the librarian announced the library was closing. Bucky looked around to see where you were but to his surprise you weren’t there. “Hey” he spun around to see you stood next to him, as grin spreading across your face.  “Um hi.” You plucked the book he had and inspected it carefully. “That’s a good one. If you like it then you should read the Jack Reacher books. All about an ex-military bloke with a lizard brain. Everywhere he goes so does trouble.” Bucky hadn’t really known what book he had in his hand, it had been more of a cover for him so he could stay at catch a few glimpses of you without seeming too suspicious. “Thanks, I will bear that in mind …” He gestured at you “Y/N” you added and offered him your free hand which he shook, trying to ignore the feeling spreading through his body as his skin touched yours for the first time. “Bucky” You shot him a quizzical look. “Unusual name?” He took the book from you now and shoved it back onto the shelf. “Well it’s from my middle name Buchannan.” Bucky scratched the back of his neck “Don’t suppose you want to grab a coffee on the way out? You can tell me more about the lizard brain.” You chuckled but agreed. From there you had sat in the park for a couple of hours talking about your lives. Bucky glossed over the details of his past but you knew a little bit about it from the news, not that it bothered you. He was sweet, kind and had the ability to make you feel like you had the most interesting life, even though as a teacher you really didn’t. He laughed at the stories you told him and before you knew it you had wondered to a little bistro and had dinner with each other. He had then walked you back to your apartment and you arranged an official first date for the following evening.

Bucky kept his life with you separate from the avengers. You could understand it really, it was a completely different world. He promised to introduce you to Steve and Sam at some point but every time you tried to invite them around for dinner Bucky always made an excuse. It made you feel like he was ashamed of you. Both of you had busy schedules, he had missions and you had a full-time teaching job. But you found a way to make it work. You gave him a key to your place which meant that most nights when you got in Bucky was waiting for you. It was the evenings you spent curled up against him on the couch, chatting about the events of the day that made the relationship work. That precious time where neither of you worried about anything and just took comfort in being around each other. There were other ways that you found comfort as well. Bucky worshipped your body, which you normally hid behind ripped mom jeans and loose cable knit sweaters. But he knew what you were hiding and he just couldn’t get enough of you. That feeling was mutual, dating a man injected with super serum definitely had its benefits. You weren’t with the man for his body but you definitely weren’t going to complain. Bucky could have been sculpted by an artist who envisaged the perfect human man; hard muscular planes, thick powerful legs and the metal arm, whilst probably not imagined by Michelangelo, only added to his appeal.

Everything had been going well until a couple of weeks ago. He had mentioned a party that Tony Stark was throwing that he had to attend, you had half expected him to ask you to go with him, knowing how much he hated big gatherings. But he didn’t. Instead he left you to spend the evening by yourself and rocked up at 3 in the morning, slightly drunk from some Asgardian drink, smelling of perfume and with his face covered in bright red lipstick. That night you had your first major fight followed by the best make up sex of your life. Despite all of this there was part of you that had begun to doubt whether you were enough for Bucky. You weren’t some super fit model-like woman, you were average, run of the mill normal.

The following week Bucky had taken you out for meal and the whole night you watched as his eyes followed the waitress’s ass around the room and on the walk home how he had turned as some drunk scantily clad women stumbled down the street. This was the final straw. The fight when you had got home was worse than the last. Then it was over, Bucky was gone and you were on your own again. He hadn’t fought to keep you and despite the love you held for him it wasn’t enough.

-----------

At first when you heard the noises coming from your kitchen you panicked but then your remembered. Bucky. You silently slipped into the bathroom and splashed your face with cold water, and pulled your hair into a high pony before going to face him. In the morning light you got a better look at him; there were deep purple marks below his eyes, the scruff of a newly formed beard and the tension in his shoulder made it evident that he was stressed. He was stood in his boxers and the shirt he had been wearing last night loose around his torso. You went at sat at the breakfast bar and he gave you a half apologetic smile. “Sorry about last night, I just needed to see you, be near you. I don’t know how to exist without you, I can’t sleep. I’m just lost.” A small groan escaped your lips, the fight you had in you last night was rapidly disappearing. You missed Bucky. It wasn’t difficult to fall in love with him but it sure was difficult to fall out of love with him. “Buck, I went through this. You’re clearly ashamed of me. You wouldn’t introduce me to your friends and when we went out you couldn’t keep your eyes to yourself.” Bucky put down the batter mix he had been whisking and looked at you. “Y/N I didn’t take you to that party because I knew there would be a hundred pricks there who wouldn’t have been able to take their eyes off you. I didn’t want you to realise what a jealous shit I really am.” Bucky raised his hand at you when you started to interrupt. “No, I need to finish. At the restaurant the other week you thought I was following the waitress around well what I was really looking at were the arseholes at the bar that kept eyeing you up, especially when you got up to go the toilet. Their eyes were glue to your arse, not that I can blame them, but they had no right to objectify you like that.” Your eyebrows knitted together in concentration as you tried to think back to that night. “What about the girls on the street?” Now it was Bucky’s turn to be confused. “What girls?” You scoffed “The ones who walked by with their tits out and their dressed practically showing of their you know...” Bucky let out a frustrated sigh. “Y/N I didn’t even see them, it was the two drunk blokes behind us, I could hear them saying things about you. I swear, I only turned to scare them off.”

Could you have really got it that wrong. Had your own jealously really made you that paranoid. “Even if all of that is true Buck, why wouldn’t you let me meet Steve or Sam?” Bucky made his way around the counter so that he was stood in front of you. “Look Y/N” he said taking your hand in his “I want you for myself, I thought introducing you to them would make you realise you could do so much better than me. There is stuff in my past I’m not proud of ok, they’re much better guys than I am. I just didn’t want to lose you.” You reached out and caressed his cheek with your free hand “I know about your past Ok? As far as I am concerned none of that matters, it’s who you are now that I care about. You’re the man I fell in love with.” Bucky placed his hand on yours and tilted his head to find your eyes. “I love you Y/N, I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right. I want you, and nothing else will do.” You rested your forehead against his “Promise me that you will get it out of your head that you’re not good enough for me. I get to make that decision, I’m not going to leave you and in return I’ll reign in my jealousy and trust you more.” Bucky pulled back, searched your eyes and realised you meant every word. “I promise Y/N. I was thinking I know it’s a bit soon but do you want to stay at my place next weekend? You can meet everyone.” You smiled brightly at him “I would love that Buck.” His head dipped as he captured your lips with his, his hands moving to the back of your head holding you against him. You groaned at the gesture and felt your arousal beginning to pool. It had been a very long two weeks and you had missed the feeling that only Bucky could create. Bucky moaned against your mouth as your lips parted allowing access, your tongues dancing around as you became reacquainted.

Bucky pressed his knee between your legs, allowing him step between them. Your arms wrapped around the back of his neck and his fell to your hips as he lifted you, your legs circled around his waist. He carried you across the room to the bed without breaking the kiss, your now wet clothed core rubbing against his hardening member. Bucky dropped you carefully onto the bed and was on top of you in a second, his lips crashing to yours once again. You wriggled your hips against his wanting him to get the hint. “Bucky please” you whined against his lips. He chuckled as his mouth trailed down your neck and he nipped teasingly at the sensitive skin there before sucking at the junction just above your collar bone. Your fingers ran across his chest and began pushing off his shirt, he got the idea, pulling away from your briefly to remove it before turning his attention to the t-shirt you were wearing. “I was wondering where that had got to” he murmured as he lifted the fabric of his red henley up revealing a small strip of skin just above your lace panties. He placed butterfly kisses along the newly exposed skin as his hands continued their journey underneath, tracing the outline of your breasts. “It still smelt of you” you breathed as his thumbs teased patterns over your taut nipples. You sat up slightly so Bucky could pull the t-shirt up over your head. “Looks better on you anyway doll.”

Bucky looked down appreciatively at you, the blue in his eyes barely visible as his pupils were blown. “So fucking gorgeous” You smiled up at him and let your hand trace up the defined muscles of his abdomen, up across his chest to his shoulders where you pulled him down to you crashing his lips to yours. The kiss was all teeth, one of desperation. Your fingernails dug into Bucky’s back keeping him close to you, his hand finding your breasts once again where he kneaded at the soft flesh before rolling your nipples between his fingers, making you gasp into his mouth. His lips left yours as he trails hot wet kisses down your body, stopping to pay particular attention to your breasts before continuing their journey downwards. Your fingers wind into his hair as his lips press against your clothed bundle of nerves making your hips buck. Bucky continues to tease you, his fingers exploring everywhere other than where you wanted them, his teeth graze over the top of your panties. You whine as the heat in your lower belly starts becoming too much. “Bucky, I want you. Please.” The need in your voice nearly makes him come on the spot but he wants to do this properly, these two weeks have been hell without you. “I’m getting there doll, gonna to make you feel so good.” Bucky sits up so that he can remove the last barrier from your body, his cock twitches in his boxers as he looks down on you and decides that he can’t wait any longer. He tears the lace from your body. Normally you would have been annoyed at him for that but your desire has over taken any rational thought. He removes his own underwear before attaching his mouth suddenly to your clit. You scream at the contact as you writhe underneath him. Bucky holds your hips down with his hands as his tongue licks at the juices that have already collected at your apex. He hums at the taste, the vibration coursing through your whole body. Your fingernails dig into his scalp, holding him in place, as his tongue enters you, twisting and thrusting leaving you so close to the edge, his nose bumping your clit as he continues his assault. He removes his tongue and before you can cry at the loss of contact his mouth is back on your clit, sucking at it harshly until your cry out his name and a string of curses, the knot in your stomach finally bursting. Bucky keeps his mouth on you as you ride out your high, the final waves of pleasure still pulsing through your body as he makes his way up to your mouth. You can taste yourself on his lips making you groan, his tongue gliding over yours.

Deciding you want more control, you manoeuvre yourself so that Bucky is underneath you whilst you straddle his hips. You grind against him slowly, your slick coating his member. A small hiss escapes his mouth and closes his eyes as you pick up the pace, your hands falling to his chest for support. “Fuck doll” Bucky’s hands tighten around your hips as he helps guide your movements. “I need you Y/N” he pants as you reach down between you taking his member and positioning him before you sink down onto him. You stay still for a few moments giving yourself time to adjust before you slowly begin you rock your hips. Bucky’s hands are all over you, pinching your nipples, traveling over your back before inserting two fingers into your mouth. You moan around Bucky’s fingers as your hips pick up speed, the heat in your belly building. “Shit doll” Bucky can’t help but thrust his own hips up, matching your moments. He removed his fingers and sits you both up so he can get deeper into you. The new angle makes you cry out. Your hands weave into his hair as you cling onto him for support as you head tilts back, Bucky places wet open mouth kissed to your exposed neck. His hand travels down between you as he circles your clit. He growls as he feels you walls flutter against him. His mouth finds yours again, teeth and tongue colliding. Both of you are panting now with the exertion. The room filled only with noise of your ragged breathing and the lewd sounds of skins slapping against skin. “Come on Y/N, I’m so close. Come with me Doll” he gasps against your lips. His words and the friction he is creating again your clit is enough to pull you over the edge. His name comes out almost like a broken sob as your orgasm rips through you, your fingernails digging into Bucky’s back to keep you grounded. As your walls tighten around Bucky, his thrusts become more erratic as he chases his releases. He shouts as he spills inside you with a final couple of thrusts. Both of you cling to each other, Bucky’s mouth ghosting along your sweat covered neck and along your collar bone before he gently bites on your shoulder as he tries to catch his breath. Your own forehead is pressed to Bucky’s shoulder, one hand curled around the back of his neck and the other running up and down his muscular back.

Bucky pulled you with him as he laid back against the bed. Your body resting on top of his still connected at your most private parts. “Mmmm I’ve missed this” you hummed against his chest, your fingers gently tracing the scars where metal joined flesh. Bucky leant down and placed a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ve missed you.” He whispered just loud enough so that you could hear him. Your hips wiggled slightly as you readjusted yourself so you could kiss up his neck and jaw before pressing your lips to his once more. You nipped and sucked on his bottom lip making him groan. His cock hardening again in side you. “Already Sergeant?” You teased. Bucky growled. “Damn straight doll” he replied before flipping you underneath him, his kiss urgent and all consuming, so much so it left you breathless. Bucky pulled back to let you catch your breath.  “I love you.” Bucky whispered softly as his hand traced over your cheekbone. “Love you too Bucky.” You placed a chaste kiss to his lips. “Now show me how much you really want me Sergeant.” Bucky’s eyes darkened immediately. “You many regret that Y/N.” You giggled before letting out a little squeal as Bucky began moving his hips again. “Doll your gonna feel just how much I want you for days.”

Taglist is open so let me know if you want in

Taglist: @stargazingfangirl18 ,  @silentcoyotesong, @queenofstarliqht​, @buckys-henley​, @lonelyheartsm​ @alexa-lightwood-blog​

[alitaimagines]

request: “I’M ALIVEEE. This wasn’t requested, I just had some free time and wrote it. this is apart of my pregnancy series.”

character: toshinori yagi x fem! reader

fandom: my hero academia / boku no hero academia 

semi-long note ahead: i don’t know when I’ll be back to taking requests but for the time being, enjoy my free write? 

this imagine gave me leverage bc i’m in a sorority so if it’s anyone that knows how frat parties are, it’s me! 

also, grammar/spelling mistakes! my next imagine will fall in the pregnancy realm BUT this time with a twist. it should be up tomorrow. maybe. it’s with my fucking husband Narumiya. 

ALSO, I changed my URL. it’s now ALITAIMAGINES. 

song recommendation: literally any American party song you could think of. 

David knew that All Might wasn’t accustomed to the party life that America had. Nightclubs, bars, frat/sorority, house, etc. He knew this was something he had to introduce him too and being that Toshinori loved all things American, it wasn’t hard to convince the blond. 

“so how are we getting into this party?” Toshi asked David. David gave Toshi a smile before parking the car on the side of the street, “you know my friend ( your name)? she’s in a sorority so all we do is say we know her and we’re in!” David said in a simplistic tone. 

Toshi felt a blush creep on his face, you knew him and he knew you. There was a bit of awkward tension between the two of you. He thought you were the most beautiful girl he ever encountered. You were loud, smart, friendly, everything to make a great hero although that wasn’t what you were planning on being. 

The reason why he even met you was because you were in a lot of David’s class. You also wanted to help heroes and their development for costumes so it wasn’t unusual when you were in his dorm, complaining about school work or something along those lines. 

“see, we get to party and you get to hang out with ( your name ),” David emphasized as he knocked on the door, quite loudly. Toshi could hear the music blaring from outside the house as someone opened the door, “who are you? do you know anyone here?” the boy asked. 

Toshi’s hands immediately moist as David gave the boy a look, “we’re here with ( your name), apart of the sorority also throwing the party,” David said with a bit sarcasm. 

The nodded, closing the door before quickly yelling something. The door opened the door but this time with you, “DAVID! TOSHI!” You screamed as you shoved the boy aside and let the others in, “I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D MAKE IT!” You screamed again. 

David chuckled as you grabbed Toshi by the arm, “you’re in for a hell of a ride, Yagi! c’mere, you need to try everything!” you exclaimed as you grabbed the buff man by the arm and dragged him to where one of the frat boys was making drinks. 

Toshi stood to the side as he waited for the drink and awkwardly excused himself for being in the way, “this is your first frat party, right?” you asked as you took a sip from your own drink. Toshi gave you a nod as he analyzed you. you were wearing your sorority gear with black ripped jean skirt and neutral colored heels.

“Kyle, how long does it take to make a Long Island?” you emphasized as you tapped on the counter impatiently, Adam from what he guessed gave you the middle finger, “do you see all these people?” Adam replied. you shrugged as you snapped your fingers as he quickly shook the drink and poured it into an empty glass. 

“try this, it’s the best!” you said shoving the drink to him, Toshi gave you a hesitant look as David came up to the both of you, “a Long Island? already? are you trying to get this poor man drunk so quickly?” you smirked, “I’m on my second one, you gotta keep up David!” you said as you yelled to Adam to make you another drink, this time being a tequila sunrise. 

Toshi took a sip, the hard alcohol hitting him rather quickly. you and David laughed as he gave the two of you a look, “aww, don’t be mad! you’ll get used to it, trust me!” you told Toshi as he nodded. 

after you got your drink, you brought him over to the table where flip cup was happening, “wanna play? the game is called flip cup,” you asked Toshi. he shrugged before explaining that he had no idea what the game even was, “watch, I’ll play a round with David and you can switch with him after you’ve seen,” you said as you brought David to the ping pong table. 

Toshi watched as a boy poured beer into five red solo cups and filled them to the brim. two other people walked to the other side of the table and the boy did the same before he blew a whistle. 

he watched as you and David immediately started chugging back the beer, a lot faster than the people across from you. after both of you finished, you started flipping the cups, trying to make them land on the other side. he felt nervousness as everyone watched intensely. 

as soon as you flipped the last cup, the small crowd around you erupted into cheer. Toshi clapped as you gave him a wave to come over, “wanna try?” you asked again. Toshi nodded as this time, they added a sixth cup and filled it with two different beers. 

as soon as David blew the whistle, you and Toshi started chugging them back. you had to admit, Toshi knew how to handle his alcohol and handled it well. he was chugging them back a lot faster than you were and admittedly, a lot faster than David. Toshi waited until you finished your cup before starting to flip them. 

it didn’t take long before Toshi flipped the last one and David blew the whistle again, indicating that you both won. you jumped on him squealing as Toshi’s face went bright red. 

“Daisy! you’re here!” you said as you noticed David’s girlfriend appearing from the crowd. she gave you a hug before waving to Toshi and making her way to David, “wanna sit? i’m pretty tired,” you mentioned to Toshi. he nodded as the two of you sat down on the brown busted up chair. 

it was big enough to have you and Toshi fit on it with only being squished a bit. you watched as Daisy and David danced in the crowd, giving Daisy a supportive smile every time she looked over at you, “they’re amazing together. I can see them getting married after college,” you told Toshi as you looked over at him. 

he nodded, giving David a look before turning over to you, “yeah, he really likes her,” he replied before taking another sip of the drink he was having. you smiled, “yeah, she really likes him back. by the way, are you and David crashing at our place after this? I can’t imagine either of you driving back, especially in the condition the four of us are in,” you said sternly. 

“I think so, I don’t think David wants to drive back home drunk,” Toshi admitted. you nodded as you clipped your keys to your belt loop, “wanna grab another drink and dance a bit?” you asked. Toshi nodded as you grabbed his hand and led him to the bar again. 

this time the bar was empty but before he could realize what was happening, you jumped over the counter and grabbed a few bottles of alcohol, making whatever your mind first thought of. a mai-tai was what you ended up making for yourself before making Toshi a concoction of Gatorade and Jaegermeister. 

after you slid the drinks to Toshi, you jumped back over the counter and went to the dance floor. the song seemed to be slower as more couples went onto the floor. 

you grabbed Toshi’s hand and put them on your waist as he stood there, awkwardly. you laughed as you went on your toes and got as close to his ears as you could, “everyone is too drunk to care how you dance, relax,” you said as he gave you a relieved look. 

the night continued as you and Toshi got progressively drunker. Daisy and David had cut themselves off, knowing you and Toshi were getting way too drunk to even carry yourselves home. 

“TOSHI OH MY GOD, IT’S MAMMIA MIA!” you screamed as you head ‘Lay All Your Love on Me’ start playing. he laughed as he watched you sing into the beer you were drinking, “DAISY, IT’S MAMMIA MIA!” you screamed to her as she gave David a nervous chuckle. 

they both knew nothing good ever came out of having two drunk friends singing and drinking they way you were with Toshi. once they realized it was time to get the both of you home before the two of you ended up with alcohol poisoning. 

the walk to your apartment was a fun experience to say the least. you and Toshi were loudly talking about random shit as David and Daisy continuously told the two of you to be quiet before the police got called. 

once the trip to your apartment was a success, Daisy and David immediately shoved you into your room and forced you to sleep before you threw up. you on the other hand had other plans. 

as soon as you realized that they both had fallen asleep, you crept to the living room where Toshi was still up and watching TV. you could tell he was just as awake as you were. 

“Toshi, wanna grab a beer and head to the balcony?” you asked him excitedly, Toshi nodded his head, just as excitedly before you grabbed a bottle of wine for yourself and a few beers for Toshi before tiptoeing to the balcony. 

you shut the door and popped open the wine as Toshi opened his beer, “this is the best night I’ve had in so long!” you slurred to Toshi as he chuckled, “you’re the best,” he replied as you giggled. 

the conversation quickly ended as you slowly made your way onto Toshi’s lap. being that he was as drunk as he was, he didn’t actually get too nervous or scared. 

“did I ever tell you how attractive you are?” you admitted as Toshi laughed confidently, “I might’ve heard that,” he playfully said as you rolled your eyes jokingly, “I could say the same,” Toshi replied. 

you adjusted yourself as you wrapped your legs around his waist, “oh yeah, you think i’m cute?” you asked as Toshi nodded, “well I think you’re even cuter,” you replied as he waved you off, “no way,” was all he said before he went for a kiss. 

you laughed into the kiss before returning it. the kiss quickly turned heated as you ran your fingers through his hair. Toshi’s fingers danced on your hip as you took of your shirt. 

“we should move this to our room before we get caught,” you whispered as he did the two of you a favor and carried you to your bedroom. 

-

you woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, the urge to throw everything you drank back up, and with a weight next to you. you quickly turned around, sighing as you remembered it was only Toshi. 

Toshi brought you in closer, making you smile as you cuddled up against him. it wasn’t long before you heard your door open, “hey did Tosh leave last night-,” you heard Daisy say before David let out a laugh loud enough to wake Toshi up. 

“THE TWO OF YOU SLEPT TOGETHER?” 

you covered your ears, yelling at David to shut up before you chucked a shoe at him. Daisy and David started laughing as you covered your ears with your pillow, Toshi following what you did. 

“get the hell up and explain how that happened,” Daisy whisper-yelled as you gave her a cut it off hand motion, “give us a fucking minute, will you?” Toshi screamed as you chucked your croc at the both of them. 

they finally realized that the two of you were being serious and quietly left the room. you stood up, quickly grabbing your robe as you handed Toshi his clothes. you didn’t find it awkward but you felt a bit embarrassed being so naked in front of him. 

“want me to make you some coffee?” you asked Toshi. he nodded, bending over to your side and giving you a quick kiss before getting dress. you blushed as you walked out of the room and seen Daisy and David smirking at your walk of shame, “WALLK OF SHAME, YALL HEAR THAT, WALK OF SHAAAME!” Daisy sang/taunted. 

you gave her a look before chucking a used Keurig cup at her, making her dodge it and hit David instead, “watch your mouth, Shield. I’m way too hungover to be hearing any shit right now,” you threatened as you grabbed two mugs. 

they both giggled to themselves as Toshi walked out of your room and sat next to David. you walked into the small dining room and set Toshi’s coffee down as you immediately poured some instant espresso into your cup. 

“how? we put both of you to bed?” David asked immediately. you put your head on the table, feeling way too hungover to explain how it happened, “ask Toshi, I feel like if I talk too much, I might vomit all over this table,” you managed to say before drinking some coffee. 

a month and a half later: 

“Daisy, what the fuck am I going to do?” you whispered as you looked down at the pregnancy test in your hands, “Is it Toshi’s?” she asked. you nodded knowing it was his. 

“yeah, before Toshi, I didn’t have sex with someone in months. it’s his, for sure,” you said as you banged your head up against the bathroom counter, “do I tell him or should I just leave?” you asked, not really expecting an answer back. 

she rubbed in a consoling way, “don’t you even dare tell David about this, he’ll end up telling Toshi and I don’t think I’m ready for that,” you begged her. she nodded as she grabbed the pregnancy test from your hand. 

“give it a few days and do what feels right, if you want to hide it from him, I fully support you but if you want to tell him, I’m right there with you,” Daisy said as she gave you a supportive smile.

you were lucky enough to know that if your mother found out that you were pregnant, you would be scolded for a bit before getting excited and start rambling about baby clothes and baby necessities. 

-

after a week of dodging Toshi and David, you realized it was best to not mention the baby to Toshi. his hero career looked extremely promising and you didn’t want a baby messing that up. you didn’t want Toshi to put his career on the back burner because of a one night mistake. 

once you talked it over with your mother and Daisy, you realized that you would finish off the year online and move back in with her so you wouldn’t run into Toshi while you were pregnant. 

“so she just moved out and left?” David asked as he gave Toshi a look of sadness. David knew that he was just starting to genuinely like you so with you just up and leaving without any prior warning, he couldn’t help but feel a bit sad for him, “did she say why?” he asked. 

Daisy immediately was stunted into silence, “there was an emergency with her family. I’m not allowed to say who or what happened but she told me to tell the two of you that she’s okay and there’s nothing to worry about,” she explained as she gave Toshi’s hand a squeeze. 

“don’t worry, when she’s ready, she’ll return to you.” 

-

it had been a year since you left your college and moved back into your mothers house. the upside for the entire fiasco was that you had a beautiful baby boy and a start up company that was getting a lot attention. 

being that you were extremely informed on the logistics of hero costumes and the scientific side of it, you were able to get the attention of heroes who wanted adjustments to their costumes for a decent price. 

your Toshi was now a full fledged hero. you knew him as Toshinori but to the world, he was All Might. you would watch him save civilians with little to no effort and always come out with a smile on his face. you couldn’t lie, you missed seeing his smile every day and every so often you would regret not telling him about your son. 

since your company was now some what affiliated with professional heroes, seeing invitations for different events wasn’t unusual. one particular event stood out. it was a family friendly event for those in the hero industry. it was to basically thank those behind the scenes who were helping the heroes with their costumes, defense tools, etc. 

you RSVP’d to the event and bought your son an outfit for the event. it was a small tuxedo that would make even the most stoic hero smile. to the untrained eye, they wouldn’t know it was Toshi’s baby but to anyone who knew you and Toshi, it immediately recognizable. 

Daisy would visit you whenever she got the chance. she told you how sad Toshi was when you left and how David proposed to her after they graduated. you felt a bit upset knowing you missed out on a bunch of milestones within the year you left everyone but you knew this was partially your fault. you were the one who pressured Toshi into drinking that night and partially persuaded him to get into bed with you. 

the day of the event came and you were dressed in a simple summer dress and flats. after giving birth, your ankles were never the same so your days of wearing heels was completely thrown away. 

the Los Angeles heat was something you got used too so the dress you wore was as lose fitting as it could possibly be. you straightened your hair and applied very natural make up on before getting your son dressed. 

figuring that you wouldn’t be seeing anyone you knew, you weren’t too worried with how you were looking. the event was being held outside so everyone wouldn’t be sweating over their makeup or clothes. 

after you dressed your son, you grabbed your things before heading the venue. you had a small picture of you and Toshi on your dashboard of your car. it was more of a comforting thing so every time you seen it, you couldn’t help but smile. 

the venue was closed off to the general public so after they scanned your invitation, you walked towards the sitting area. you hadn’t realized that there was photographers taking photos as you walked in. 

once you found your seat and sat your son on his blanket, you asked one of your coworkers to watch your son while you grabbed the both of you something to eat. 

throughout the night, you sat down, enjoying the conversation you were having with your coworkers and some clients/heroes. it wasn’t until your son started getting restless when you realized that you had to change his diaper. 

“do you think you could point me in the direction of the bathroom?” you asked one of the venue workers. she nodded before pointing inside the building. 

you walked inside as you had your son strapped in a sling in front of you. he was making gurgling sounds as you gave him funny faces to try and calm him down. 

before you could turn the corner, you accidentally bumped into someone, “I am so sorry!” you chirped as you quickly walked around the big man, not registering who it was and went towards the family bathroom. 

it wasn’t until you finished changing your sons diaper when you realized who exactly you ran into. your heart immediately falling to your stomach as you felt yourself getting extremely nervous. you knew you had to leave the bathroom eventually and you were just hoping Toshi didn’t recognize it was you. 

grabbing the knob, you opened the door slowly. upon opening widely, you realized Toshi was waiting. you gulped as he had full vision of your son, well, his son as well. 

you couldn’t even hold the tears back anymore. he immediately embraced you, making sure not to hurt the baby in the process. your cry turned more into a sob as he brought you back into the bathroom. 

“is he mine?” toshi asked as he studied the baby’s features. he knew it was his baby. the baby looked exactly like he did at his age, “yes, the baby is yours,” you whispered as you felt him take the baby out of the carrier. 

“is that why you left,” you nodded again, “well, he’s beautiful, just like you,” Toshi whispered as you felt more tears come out. you were an idiot for leaving the man you liked and now you felt extremely shitty about Toshi being absent within the year that the baby was born. 

“what’s his name?” you knew it was a sensitive topic to talk about and while you were pregnant, you battled about the name for months until you realized that you were going with what your heart wanted, “I named him after you but his middle name is David,” you confessed. 

Toshi for the first time let a tear out as he cuddled the extremely small baby into his chest, “were you ever going to tell me?” he asked. you stayed silent, “damn it! were you?” he asked a little louder. 

you jumped a bit as he sighed before grabbing your hand, “yeah, I was going to tell you when I found out but I didn’t feel like it was right. I was the reason why you got drunk that night and I was partially the persuader when we had sex. you’re an upcoming hero. you didn’t need the distraction of a child holding you back from your life’s dream,” you finally admitted. 

Toshi sighed once again, “you can’t make a decision that big without my input. this is my child, my bloodline. do you know how this impacts me now? I’m a father, I have a son!” he exclaimed as he cuddled him even more now. 

you nodded as you tried to stop your crying but before you could wipe anymore tears off, Toshi wiped them for you before giving you a long awaited kiss. you sighed into it as you returned it, this time a lot more soft. 

“I need to ask you a question.” Toshi said suddenly. you gulped as you felt your heart racing again, “do you love me?” he asked. 

you were stunted into silence. Toshi gave you a few minutes to process what he asked you. you knew you did. you’d be an idiot not to love him. not only love him because you actually loved him but you loved him bc he was the father of your son. 

“yes, yes I do.” 

Toshi gave you a wide smile before setting the baby back on your carrier, “I’m going back home to Japan. move with me?” he asked once again. 

this time, you didn’t take as long to reply. you knew it was only in your best interest to follow Toshi and if that meant living Japan with Toshi than it meant just that. you knew it was one of two choices. moving and being with Toshi or remaining in Los Angeles and having Toshi live out his hero career in the states. 

you felt like you had done everything you could in Los Angeles. whether it be with your career or for personal reasons, living in Japan brought new experiences and new clients. 

“of course!” you managed to say as he grabbed you and lifted you off the ground, “Toshi, the baby,” you exclaimed. he immediately set you down and gave you a kiss before kissing Toshi Jr on the forehead. 

“he has to meet David!” Toshi exclaimed as he ran out of the bathroom and to the nearest phone. you grabbed his hand and stopped him, “I think calling David can wait till tomorrow, for now, lets go back to my place and think of how we’re going to move our entire livelihoods to another country,” you stated. 

Toshi waved you off, “don’t worry about that, leave that to me,” he said as he grabbed his son and gave him a small kiss on the forehead. 

“I love you.” 

you gave Toshi a look before giving him a quick kiss. 

“I love you too.” 

ALITA

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day  /  i want the world to go away  /  i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake  /  i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

[anteroom-of-death]

Life, for Dummies p1

a/n: plz love me and go easy. i haven’t written anything since dodos were alive....

You were new to the “fam”. The Doctor picked you up randomly like a stray. Not that you minded most days. It felt like transfering to a school in March: the middle of the semester. And much like high school, friends groups were already formed. Hell, you couldn’t believe that Yaz and the Doc weren’t slamming each other against the walls and making out running down corridors and such. 

Graham especially treated you well. Like a pottering but wicked smart granddad. Ryan too, you could bond over basketball and other fun stuff. But still. A second out of step. Any time you had these thoughts, you shoved it down and cursed not totally growing out of your middle school “I’m not like other girls!” mindset. Which, what the fuck? You were a grown ass woman. 

“Y/N?” the Doctor said waving a hand in front of you, snapping you from your reverie as you came to the present. You are on Gallifrey and there’s some psycho of the week- named the Master looking ferally at you all like he was planning what bathtub you’d wake up in with a kidney missing. You totally zoned out. The Wii Mii music might as well be what plays when you enter a room. 

Shaking yourself you tried to size up the current threat. So- this is where the Doctor’s from? No bad considering it looked like a mix between Dresden after the bombing and Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It had lots of open fields. Big skies. Plenty of sunlight from two burning suns so no “When the street lights kick on, you come back in!” The image of a tiny little blonde baby-Doc bobbing around chasing space fireflies was cute. 

Damn reveries. 

“Be afraid Doctor!” He said five minutes earlier. 

How could anyone be afraid of that. Sure when swapping past stories they told you he was crazy and killed people. The grunting he made coming through the portal was not something fearful. They were oddly sexual. The Doctor’s greatest enemy? Was right before you?

“I should have had more coffee!” You whined under your breath. Honestly. All this running, you didn’t know if you needed to mainline Folger’s or get one of those dorky water packs suburban white dads had for hiking.

This fucker grinned at that. “You’re funny!” He giggled pointing at you. Figures he had like, super sonic hearing. “You didn’t tell me you had funny little humans with you this time!” 

“Hilarious dude! Can you even reach the shelves in the grocery store?” It was a pithy attempt at humor. The man had no right calling humans small. 

He laughed and looked like he was debating killing you. He gave a resounding twirlin’ and then went onto monologue as if he were written by Joss Wheden. Mainly at the Doctor. But he kept glancing over at you. Yaz and Ryan were obviously acting on primal instinct of figuring how to take the Master down and Graham looked half bored. They’d met him before. Graham looked like he was just waiting for it to be done. Graham was chill. Reliable. He didn’t fly off the handle as much as the rest of you all. He was older. He was one margarita away from becoming a Parrothead. You liked that. 

The Master’s glances felt disarming. Like he’d already seen you without your clothing. Not that it felt like a bad thing. He wasn’t unattractive as far as aliens went. Actually, kind of hot. The kind of hot you’d go for if it wasn’t for the fact he was massively evil, tried to kill all humans, and is currently being a bastard to your close friends. Something unique about his clapping. You did that when you were over excited. 

He was dashing. 

His eyes were large and just drew you in, mentally you knew every time he glanced over. Like he wanted to let you know it was for you and you alone. And he was fit, still soft. Something about the soft jaw, slight roundness to thighs and slight slouch of the tummy. The swagger and toothy grins? His skin looked soft and nice too. Crazy fashion sense. Maybe the inability to dress yourself was a Time Lord thing? 

G-d, those lips, so round and full and a nice color. You shoved a thought about, other parts being that color away. Were you really here, having a team huddle, imagining the evil bad man’s cock? Desperation, party of one. You hadn’t been laid in a long time, but really?

“Y/N!” Yaz asked as you looked over and the Master smirked directly at you, like he knew you were trying to picture his cock at that moment. “What do you think?”

You groaned, “I don’t know!” your voice peaked a hoarse few octaves. The Master had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even touch you. 

“He seems mega powerful.” You throw your hands out to exaggerate. He turned and pointed you out, “You have no idea what powers I have.”

“Man, shut the fuck up, or I’m gunna hit you.” You said plainly. Your eyes rolled back into your skull. You were suddenly your normal self again. He was just some dude, like any you’d see on the streets trying to undermine your confidence or get you to give him the time of day.

“No you won’t.” And he was right. 

So you all just followed the lead of your fearless leader, the Doctor…

_________________________3 Weeks Later __________________________

You were back home. It was Corona Time. And definitely not the fun kind. You were worried absolutely sick. Was the Doctor alive? What about Gallifrey? What was all of that? So many questions raced through your quarantined mind. That and a few errant daydreams about the Master taking you with what you assumed had to be a massive cock. What was that overused phrase you’d seen the internet use? Big Dick Energy? The man had got to have had a set of cojones on him for the amount.

You couldn’t shake that son of a bitch from your mind. 

He was hauntingly attractive. But evil. You were in a moral panic 24/7. You felt like those soulfully pained eyes followed you around your house all the time. 

You were trying to focus on finding work from home jobs that were legitimate. You gave up your career to run around and play 5th wheel and now you were paying. Shelter inside? More like buying lots of unneeded skincare to fill a new void in you.

You were just ready to click “apply” on Indeed when those asthmatic engine noises started pounding in your yard. Was that the Doctor? Saving you from going insane and buying the 200 plus dollars in your cart on DHC’s webstore. 

No, you didn’t see a kitschy blue box, but a stately match for your shed, but nicer. 

Who should appear? But the rat bastard himself. 

Boy, you were so screwed.

Suddenly he smiled politely and waved at you through the window. He pointed at your back door and was asking to be let in. 

Cautiously you opened the window. “Go away, Master.” 

“Is that polite to say? I’m your first visitor in weeks and you shove me-” He faux-shocked put his hand over his mouth “away?” You couldn’t tell if he was faking being insulted or for reals.

“I’d shove Timmy down a well if he killed my best friend and all her people.”

“Let me in, I just want to talk.” He opened his hand like he was caught red handed. 

You slammed the window down harder than probably recommended. You felt the slam’s noise in your jaw. He’d get the message maybe. Or maybe you’d let him in and pin his ass to the living room carpet. Choices, choices. You went back and clicked ‘place order’, your bank account app dinged and said you had less than fifty dollars left. No one was going nowhere so it didn’t matter. You finished your tea in a few gulps. You made your choice. 

Opening up the window, you shouted “Take off your jacket and place all of your weapons and your TARDIS key on the patio. Shoes too. Toss them into the Rose of Sharon.” You’d be damned if he was gonna kill you in your own house, surrounded by your own possessions, in your own damn town. 

“What’s a Rose of Sharon Y/N?” He asked, genuinely confused. “It’s the dead bush that’s claimed the entire ramp up to my patio…” Sighing you pointed at it. 

He giggled and obliged. 

Always giggling. 

He knocked as you were rooting for your sharpest whatever you could find. You opened the door and ushered him in. Almost comically, you began patting him down and weidling your weapon of choice. Excellent ass, you had to admit. Soft, yet firm. 

“Having a good feel, love?” He asked as you were admiring it. 

“Hey, you never know…” You off-brand sighed. He was nice to touch. It was addictive. 

He paced around your home, looking at the photos of you and your family. The stack of bills in boxes, your life. Like he was examining art in a museum. 

“I don’t appreciate you fondling my fruit.” You said when he’d made his way into your kitchen. 

He grinned, “Isn’t it customary for you humans to offer a beverage or a snack to guests?” 

Massaging your temples you handed him one of those nutri grain granola bars that crumble everywhere and a can of Coke. 

“Not very much, huh?” 

“There's a pandemic out there you dense motherfucker!” You shouted almost singing the words “pandemic” and “motherfucker”, throwing your arms upwards for examples.

You felt like you could swear around him. With the rest of your current social circle you felt like there was a PG-13 limit to your speech. 

“Forgive me.” He rolled his eyes. Tit for tat matching you. He leaned heavy on his seat and opened up the can and drank politely. You almost believed him

“So why are you here?” sitting down across from him cracking your finger joints and wrists out of habit. “Run out of people to piss off in space?” 

���Oh, always plenty there.” 

You snorted. 

“You seem very sure of yourself. Different from her other little pets.” He said. “Or, is it just a show…” He bore directly into your soul. “I’d believe it.” You glared at him, still holding your weapon, sure it wasn’t much. But to quote a legend “That’s my purse, I don’t know you!”

“You know what they say when you assume…” You put it out there.

“I don’t know!” He fumed on a hairpin notice. “Something about a donkey!”

“Relax, Jeeze.” You let out a nervous chuckle.

He grinned that megawatt, perfectly white smile with teeth better than most Hollywood actors. 

“You’re bored.” He observed.

“I’ve been confined in my house for three weeks.” You stated.

“What if...you weren’t.” He weighed the words out. Almost physically with his hands. G-d those hands. How soaked in blood were they? But how dexterous were they? You swatted away thoughts of how nice they’d be buried in you, “Oy, gevalt!” You said. Noticing you had been staring at his fingertips for a second too long…

“You seem distracted...Is it me? Is the Doctor’s little pet wanting to try out some real leadership?” He mocked, but there was some other little tone to it. Care? Amusement? Yearning? A combination of all four? Who knows. You didn’t.

His eyes had the most whimsical gorgeous glow, and his eyelashes had the most attractive flutter.

“Ya caught me!” You barked with all the false sarcasm you could feign. 

“Oh, I promise that I won’t blow up any planets, kick any orphans, wreck a ship carrying puppies and kittens for adoption... I’ll just show you the real way to see the stars. None of that running through corridors and fighting for your life. The way it should be seen.” He said, his nice waistcoat coated in crumbs. 

“Or are you a coward? Afraid to see the other side of the coin? Y/N.” You were inherently a little bit of a coward. He crooked a crooked grin.

You pondered and helped yourself to an apple. Hoping that he’d see your teeth and that’d be another layer of “Don’t fuck with me, Please!” Though you desperately almost craved to be fucked with at this point.

You pause and consider this, is it betrayal? To follow your instincts and go off with a literal madman instead of your new “fam” because and called you on your self-sure bullshit?

“Is she alive? Is the Doctor alive?” You pleaded. A bit of tears threatening to come up.

“Yes, of course.” He assured you. It was very comforting. He slowly grabbed at your hand. “I may not be a man of a lot of truths, but I’ll tell you this. She always somehow comes out on top. It’s frustrating.” The warmth was real in his voice and in his eyes.

You closed your eyes and willed yourself sane. But the little nagging at your core said to. Give in, give up. Go with him. 

“‘Kay.” You nodded. Suddenly sullen. “I’ll go.” The smile you gave was tired and you got up. You were almost shaking. He touched you and you came undone. This was not healthy. You’d blame the self-isolation, but deep down you knew it went deeper. Your jaw was trembling a bit. Self-preservation was gone. 

You screwed yourself up again and poked a finger on his chest. “Try anything funny that gets me killed and I’m stabbing you.” 

“No, you won’t.” This time, it was an order. An order wrapped in velvet and coated in chocolate.

You turned to go pack and he grabbed at your wrist. “No, you don't need that. I got a wardrobe department worthy of choice.” He grabbed at his shirt and brandished his look. 

“Fine.” You said. So tired, but feeling more alive than you had in years at once. 

Grabbing your hand and all his stuff out of your yard he pulled you into his TARDIS and it left. Off to the next….

[cle1024]

dead loss | hhj

member: hwang hyunjin 

genre: fluff, angst 

summary: life was an exhausting and pointless ride for hyunjin, but you managed to make it a little more bearable while you could.  delinquent!au, friends to lovers!au, coming of age!au 

warnings: smoking, alcoholism, swearing, violence, death, drug-dealing (no usage), lots of illegal stuff my dudes 

disclaimer: there are ships within this story. i am NOT trying to force these relationships on any of the boys, nor am i trying to use them as anything other than an aspect of the story. these are purely fictitious scenarios and relationships, i feel the need to add this disclaimer because some people take ships w a y too far (insisting they’re real to the point where it’s uncomfortable and borderline fetishising) and i don’t want to come across as one of those people. 

a/n: anyway i’m gonna go disappear for another 5+ months 

Life in a small town was peaceful in the outsider’s perspective ― everyone knew everyone, there was a strong sense of community and unbreakable bond built on reliability and trust. People who believed that shit clearly didn’t live in a small town, or at least not your small town. No, in your hometown everyone was a stranger. If you look at them for too long ― alternatively referred to as “looking at them the ‘wrong way’” ― they wouldn’t hate to get aggressive, borderline violent or just straight up violent. There was no trust in this town, how can you trust a stranger? It was a shady and hopeless area that people struggled to escape. Many of you have accepted your future, stuck in this abysmal hellhole, but some things just aren’t easy to come to terms with―especially when you hate the future you’ll inevitably be trapped in. 

A slight metallic scent tainted the air as Hyunjin leaned against the wooden planks of the treehouse, a huff passing his busted lips. He had managed to drag his sorry ass back to the rickety treehouse after sending a simple text to you ― something optimistic and charming: “im going to fucking die. treehouse” ― in the hopes you would come fix his wounds. That’s what you always did after Hyunjin had been in a fight, regardless of whether he asked you to or not. Though he had to ask you this time, even if it was the ass crack of dawn, because he genuinely thought he was going to die any second now. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was because he’d used all of his energy in the fight, his wounds bled too much, or the result of not sleeping in thirty-seven hours. Hyunjin didn’t think he really cared about dying, everyone has to go at some point, but he did care about whether he would be in pain or alone when he died―and right now, he was both. There was a faint pattering of footsteps in the dewy grass, growing louder until they were gently working their way up the wooden ladder to the treehouse. Hyunjin opened his eyes lazily, watching as you pulled yourself up and into the structure. He smirked slightly and wheezed out a chuckle, “on a scale of one to ten, how dateable am I right now?” You stared at him blankly, scanning over his injuries before huffing slightly and shifting towards him. 

“Losing fights isn’t a personality trait, dipshit.” 

“Yeah, but it makes me seem like a bad boy, huh?” Hyunjin chuckled hoarsely at your immediate eye roll, tilting his head to give you better access to his bleeding face wounds. He winced softly as pressure was applied to the bloody mark on the top of his cheek, a fresh bruise blooming under his soft skin. He couldn’t see all of his wounds, but he could undeniably feel them. His cheek was bruised and bleeding, his bottom lip was busted with blood seeping into his mouth occasionally―he was just loving that―while there were numerous pains to his abdomen, mainly in his ribs and lower stomach. 

“Jeez, you need to stop picking fights you can’t win,” the corners of his lips twitched upwards momentarily, a tinge of smugness painting the action. 

“This is the prime of my life, darling.” 

You scoffed at his excuse, “yeah, you’ll only be young once but you’ll be stupid for the rest of your life, Hwang.” 

“Touche,” he shrugged nonchalantly as your eyes widened in mock offence. 

“Oh, do you want to bleed some more?” The two of you chuckled at the threat, though Hyunjin’s sounded much more breathless and painful than yours did.  

“Nah, only other people are allowed to hurt me. How else would I get your attention at night?” Hyunjin’s comment elicited another eyeroll and soft smile from you. He knew you’d drop everything to be with him, regardless of how sleep-deprived it made you, because that’s what friends did. 

Hyunjin is a delinquent, down to the very definition: “(typically of a young person) tending to commit crime, particularly minor crime.” He does that a fair bit, stealing from different shops run by tired and aging people who can’t be arsed to chase after the mischievous teenager. He smokes, despite his youth, but won’t take a swig of alcohol ― something Jisung often laughs at him for, but that boy was a borderline alcoholic. The tall boy also happened to be involved in fights at least one a fortnight, you sometimes have the displeasure of witnessing them and almost always have the duty of taking care of him afterwards―no one else was willing to do it. You don’t approve of Hyunjin’s lifestyle, frankly you never have, but you know he has his reasons. Besides, he’s a stubborn boy and wouldn’t change even if you tried to force him. He’s reckless and usually impulsive, which became undeniably obvious when he was fifteen, stood in front of a train until the last second so he could dodge it, all with the undying support of his former enemy Jisung ― “You got this, man!” 

“All he’s got is a one-way ticket to the afterlife,” you’d deadpanned, earning a scoff from the other boy. 

“As Teddy Duchamp once said, ‘train dodge, dig it’.” 

“Yeah, but he didn’t stay around long enough to dodge it, nor is he a real person!” 

At the end of the day, it really didn’t matter how Hyunjin acted, he would still be your best friend. He’d filled that position since the two of you were kids, it came naturally when you lived one street away from each other and had fathers with a similar friendly relationship―until work got the best of them. Now they don’t have enough time for their children, let alone each other. They differed in some ways: your father harbours expectations far too high for you, meaning he spends most of his free time reprimanding you for not trying hard enough, whereas Hyunjin’s father was always busy and didn’t really care for his son. As a result, Hyunjin spent most of his time away from home, locked inside that treehouse his father built for him and his childhood friends ― many of them had moved on to other things: moved away, became too good for him, or died, but you and Minho always stuck around, later adding Jisung to the bunch when he and Hyunjin outgrew their petty mutual hatred. Smoking, playing cards or watching scenery while he played with a lighter, it was enough for Hyunjin. 

Sometimes you think about Jisung and Hyunjin’s weird friendship, it’s an evolution you all laughed about from time to time. When the pair were younger, the age of twelve during middle school to be exact, they harboured a burning mutual hatred that continuously burdened their mutual friends ― namely upperclassman Lee Minho; at least, he was the only one of the bunch who stuck around. There was an incident where the pair were ready to throw hands at one another, but Minho and some of his older friends stepped in and told them to squash it, even if momentarily. After Jisung aided Hyunjin in a fight with some older boys from the next town over, the two sparked a short-lived ‘frenemies’ type of relationship ― of course the older boys weren’t scared of two kids who had only just figured out the ego-boost of developing muscle, they were more fearful of Jisung’s older brother as they knew damn well how ruthless he could be; they didn’t want the risk of dealing with someone from the same genes, but Hyunjin and Jisung maintained it was their intimidation that warded the boys off. Jisung initially brushed off Hyunjin’s thanks, but there was a definite shift in their relationship: their sharp insults became sarcastic remarks that garnered a teasing response after the other, then after one incident they were friends. Hyunjin never told you the specifics of the incident and you never pushed, but it was essentially Hyunjin paying back Jisung for saving his ass ― though you later found out the only threat to Jisung at the time was himself. Regardless, Jisung and Hyunjin had discovered their compatibility and Minho had never been happier to see drama fizzle out. He wasn’t a fan of such petty disagreements, “all problems can be solved in this world, either with a fist or verbal expression.” 

“Are you recommending violence?” 

“It’s still honest communication.” 

Lee Minho was truly one of a kind―all three of them were, but it was their varying ability to believe in themselves that set them apart the most. 

The Hwang boy was smart, but he had no faith in himself. At the age of fifteen he’d already accepted that he wouldn’t go far academically, telling you “I’ll become one of those tradies that gets wolf whistled when I’m trying to do my job, and no one will say a damn thing because I’m a male,” you could remember him taking a short drag of the nicotine stick, “that’s my inevitable future.” That was one of the many ways you contrasted Hyunjin. You wanted to make your father finally accept you as his child again, and the only way to do that seemed to be success ― but at this point you weren’t sure what that looked like in his eyes; everything you perceived as a success was a comical failure to him. You didn’t smoke ― you tried once when you were fourteen and found it dreadful ― and you certainly didn’t shoplift chocolate bars or ‘train dodge’ like Hyunjin, but you still had your downfalls. Rather, you bury yourself in work you couldn’t understand, got pent up over the possibility of failure, and then turned it all in like nothing ever happened―nothing’s wrong. There was a lot wrong, Hyunjin and you both knew it, but neither ever voiced it. All you wanted was to make your father proud, but you always wanted to run away from this godforsaken town and never come back. Hyunjin wanted you to stay around, the kid couldn’t afford to lose another person in his life, but he knew it was your choice at the end of the day―you had to do what was best for you. It was just difficult to accept. It was like life had kicked Hyunjin and rolled all over him, yet you managed to bring a tiny little spark of life in his soul, something that brought him to carry on. You were his rock, you understood him more than he understood himself most of the time. He loved you, not romantically, but in the way people who have no one else who get it love each other, you know? 

He realised he loved you in that way when he was thirteen, after he had his first existential debate with you ― it became a monthly tradition after that: one night you’d silently climb into the treehouse with puffy eyes and a red-tinged face, and he’d never question it because he knew you’d tell him it was fine. Then you’d wonder what happens after death and where you went. Hyunjin had always been firm on the idea there was a Heaven and Hell due to his long standing religious beliefs, and he always assumed he was going to Hell, but those midnight talks always made him realise just how unsure he was about everything ― he didn’t know what or who to believe, but he eventually decided he probably didn’t need to. 

Hyunjin realised he had fallen in love with you when you were sixteen, after Jisung and Minho had convinced the two of you to spend your Saturday doing an ‘adventurous hike’ with them ― you didn’t know it at the time, but the two had found out some pricey drugs had been dropped in the woods, and neither of them were in a situation to refuse the money that would come with selling those substances. The two boys were energetically bounding ahead of you and the tallest boy, Hyunjin and yourself dawdling on the train tracks to avoid any shattered glass mixed in with the gravel surrounding the rails, trying your best to avoid being cut through the thin and worn soles of your shoes. Hyunjin squinted at the sunlight, distracted by his own thoughts and daydreams, too distracted to realise Jisung and Minho had stopped dead in his tracks. He bumped into the older of the two, startling him back to reality with confusion, “dude, what the fu―” his voice trailed off as he watched five men ― as in full grown, adult, ‘probably from a gang’ type of men ― snarl at the four of you. Though, their eyes seemed to be trained on Minho. 

“Lee Minho. You said you wouldn’t come around here anymore, didn’t you?”  

For the first time in his life, Hyunjin saw genuine fear on Minho’s frame as he shifted his eyes and gulped softly; clearly they’d made a grave mistake. 

“Y-yeah,” for you, that was the moment you became alarmed. Lee Minho, the self-proclaimed ‘King of Confidence’, doesn’t stutter, “I know, man. I-I must’ve lost track of where we were, you won’t see me around here anymore. I’m not here to cause you any trouble, nothin’ like that,” he spoke rapidly, desperation seeping through his usually nonchalant tone. One of the men eyed the four of you suspiciously, straining his vision on you for far too long―Hyunjin sensed it, pulling you out of his line of vision with a glare. He was always one to protect his friends, reckless enough to put himself in danger to do so, it was nothing new for any of you. 

“I better not see you around these parts anymore, Lee. You got it?” Minho nodded firmly, “good. Now go,” the man waved his hand in a dismissive motion, “run along with your friends.” 

To Hyunjin, Jisung and yourself, that was your que to turn around and never look back; but Minho knew these men, you didn’t. The oldest knew it would never be that simple, and that became evident when he saw the shining tip of a dagger being pulled from one of their pockets. The four of you reacted fast, running purely on fear; Minho frantically pushed whoever he could reach, without looking, in the opposite direction, urging you to run as fast as you could to get the fuck out of there. Hyunjin grabbed your wrist securely, tugging you in the other direction and refusing to slow down for a second, even when he heard Minho and Jisung yelling distantly. Your legs slowed down slightly until the both of you stopped in your tracks, much to the dismay of Hyunjin. 

“Hyunjin, we have to go back.” 

“They can handle themselves, Y/N.” 

“We can’t just leave them!” You pleaded, gesturing to the distant figures of your two friends. 

“And I can’t lose you!” Hyunjin yelled back, startling you into a momentary silence. It was built on uncertainty, confusion and hung heavily in the air for a few seconds, until the sound of approaching footsteps, the sound of frantic running to be exact, and Minho’s frantic yells of “move your fucking asses! Run!” broke the tranquility. 

You didn’t find out what Jisung and Minho had argued about until you were twenty-one years old and attending Minho’s funeral: “When I was sixteen, he was going to risk his life to save myself and my two other friends. We yelled at each other; I couldn’t leave him behind to get beat up or blatantly killed by the people who confronted us, but he couldn’t let me in harms way. I only found out why he cared so much and risked his everything, all the time, three years after it happened. But, that’s a secret we all promised to take to the grave.” 

All four of you promised to keep that secret ― you’d all promised Minho that you wouldn’t out him, have his parents disown him during or after his life, and you all took that to the grave. Jisung lost the ability to love romantically when he was twenty-one; he’d given it all to Minho and allowed it to be buried with him. He wouldn’t have it any other way, though. 

You were officially eighteen and two months, not that the months meant anything. Both you and Hyunjin were anxious about turning nineteen, yet he didn’t want to voice it and destroy the wall he’d built around a certain part of himself―his fears. Being nineteen meant he had to act like an adult: get a job, support his family until his parents found out he had enough money to survive on his own and kick him out, settle down and have his whole life figured out. Nineteen would mean the death of his youth: no more skipping chemistry because it was insufferable or only showing up for woodwork classes, no more train dodging because it was ‘immature’, no more stealing or the shop owners would actually make an effort to ensure his actions had repercussions since he was no longer a delinquent teen. The worst of all was the thought of losing his friends; he already saw Minho significantly less than he used to due to his two jobs ― a barber during the daylight and a bartender during the hours between ― Jisung would probably continue secretly writing poetry ― though the three of you secretly knew he did it ― and work as a truck driver, or something, to escape the dullness of your hometown for a little bit. You, Y/N the bright one, would probably go on to do great things with your life and be added to the list of friends he lost due to not being good enough anymore. Hyunjin wasn’t sure whether you or Jisung felt the same ― Minho excluded since he was already passed nineteen, with Jisung endearingly referring to him as ‘hag’ ― and a part of him didn’t want to know because he didn’t really want to think about it. Of course, that didn’t stop it from being the only thing on his mind twenty-four-seven. Hyunjin groaned inwardly; losing friends. You were just a friend. Hyunjin couldn’t help but scold himself. He could steal from stores without a second thought, stand in front of trains without fear, yet he couldn’t admit his feelings to you. Then again, your friendship spanned across most of his life, and losing that would mean he would lose you. And, frankly, you were the only thing that mattered to him in life. His parents neglected him, other friends had abandoned him over time or just failed to be there for him, but you never left. You stayed, even when you became far more intelligent than him and practically radiated potential. No matter how much he wanted to, he wouldn’t dare risk losing that. He couldn’t lose you, he’d told you that before ― although, when he thought about it, and he absolutely thought about it, he’d lose you regardless of what he did or didn’t say. 

But, he had to put those thoughts aside. It was a fresh summer, after all, and there was supposedly no room for sadness in summer. There was only room for happiness, laughter, good vibes, getting high on the good vibes, or just getting high and conforming to the sickly summertime syndrome people were often infected with. Thus, Hyunjin had tried to spend the new season conforming to such a syndrome―excluding the fight where he was beaten within an inch of his life and had you fix him up, that probably didn’t fit the mold of a fun summer. It’d been successful to an extent ― the local pool had far too many people, including neglectful mothers attempting to flirt with the underage lifeguard Kim Sunwoo, and the beach was littered with shattered glass, plastic and cigarette ash mixed amongst the sand ― but the weather was still nice, and Hyunjin did play a soccer game in the park last weekend. That was it, though. The rest of his time was spent mowing the lawns of other houses for some extra cash, pocketing cherry lollipops and dealing decks of fifty-two cards for games that would be inevitably cheated in―like you were now. Hyunjin, Jisung and Minho were in a heated game of Go Fish, a cigarette dangling from Hyunjin’s plush lips and intoxicating the midday air, while you half-focused on the game in amusement, half-focused on the dusty comic book you’d flicked your way through. It’d been buried under many other prints of various comics, all neglected as time and puberty had lowered your interest in the bright illustrations. You couldn’t remember ever reading this one though, it was probably one of the rare collections Hyunjin refused to share through his childhood. A huff passed the lips of the oldest as he lost yet again, mumbling something about disrespectful youths and how they had obviously cheated. Jisung snickered, earning a wack in the gut from an agitated Minho. He scooted over to sit beside you, reading over your shoulder in an attempt to show his disinterest in the card game ― though it really just made him look like a sore loser, and it was quite clear he had zero interest in the childish story you held. A frustrated groan sounded as he threw his head back against the wall, as dramatic as ever. 

“I want to go outside,” he complained. 

Hyunjin scoffed, “there’s the door,” gesturing to the entrance with sass. 

“No,” Minho hissed and narrowed his eyes. Man, he was really spending too much time with those cats, “I want to go outside outside. Like, camping or something.” 

Jisung threw his hands up in defeat, “well, why didn’t you say so!” He exclaimed in exasperation, “I’ve got everything you need to go camping! No one in my house uses it.” 

Oh, Jisung’s house. What a nightmare that was―or, rather, looked like. It was dilapidated with a rusty truck parked in the driveway, a large shed in the back acting as storage for years of hoarding, of course there’d be something for camping in there. Jisung had once told you that most of the stuff in the shed belonged to past owners who never returned to get it and he’d, for some reason, seen it as a tradition that has to be carried through each owner. You didn’t press the idea or criticise it, the boy seemed really excited about it after all. 

“Welcome to my shed of wonders!” Jisung introduced. It was so, so, dusty. You were almost certain some of the junk within the metal sheathing dated back to the 19th century, maybe the 18th if you really analysed the dilapidated furniture and crumbling artefacts. Jisung hummed in thought, “there’s gotta be a tent in here somewhere…” He strolled into the shed, seeming to know exactly what to move and how far. The rest of you stared at the collection in awe―you kind of understood why Jisung prided himself on the contents of his shed, some of those things would make a good buck on Antiques Roadshow and keeping them must’ve given Jisung some sort of positive emotional release, perhaps a feeling of “I have a get rich quick scheme, I’m just choosing to be poor”. Probably made him feel better when people gave him crap for not being able to afford cool toys as a kid. You’d never seen the torment Jisung received, nor did he ever desire to speak about it, but Minho had been vocal numerous times in his distaste for the way the younger was treated. Jisung had a heart of gold, something Hyunjin could acknowledge even when they didn’t get along. He was the kind of boy who deserved nothing but greatness; he was destined for greatness. You could always pray the town didn’t suck the potential out of him, as it did to most others, but you knew those kinds of prayers go unanswered. Jisung’s epiphanic “a-ha!” derailed your thought train, your eyes shifting to see the brunette male pulling a large tent from one of the many, almost overflowing, storage units. 

Hyunjin squinted his eyes in confusion, “how did you even find that?” 

“It looks a hundred years old,” Minho added. 

The youngest male rolled his eyes at their comments, dusting off the green tent. An excited smile graced his face as he turned to face the three of you, “alright, where should we go?” 

The sun beat down on you, a light sheen of sweat glistening over your burning skin. How long had it been? Thirty minutes, an hour, two hours? You hadn’t a clue. The last time you ventured down railway tracks you ended up running in fear of men who had a vendetta against Minho―for reasons you’d soon find out. The oldest had evidently learned his lesson, guiding everyone in the opposite direction and away from any men with reasons to stab him for walking in their ‘territory’. Hyunjin dawdled beside you, eyes trailing the railway the four of you walked along. Minho was leading the group, Jisung chewing his ear off in a conversation that probably didn't interest the older, something about the spirits in the woods you were approaching. You could barely make out the faint scoff that passed Minho’s lips, but the younger seemed to hear it clear as day. 

“I’m serious! If we don’t get murdered in our tents then we get murked by demons in these damn woods!” 

“Is there an outcome where we don’t die on this trip?” Hyunjin questioned with amusement, effectively closing the younger’s mouth and halting more words from spilling out. Minho rolled his eyes at the short bickering, trudging through the forest with an impatient yell, “come on! I want to get there before the sun sets.” It was a dark and dank environment, the air felt musty and thick around your lungs. Trees were overgrown, roots seeping along the dirt trail and serving as tripping hazards. Light dimmed under the cavern of green leaves, yet shadows still managed to dance in the slivers of golden rays. It was tranquil, but also unnerving. In retrospect, it was probably the childhood tales of drug deals gone wrong that put you on edge. Even if it was pure fiction, naive belief was enough to trick your mind into feeling unsafe, watched, hunted. If you ventured alone your fear would have pushed you to the other side of the trail at a much faster pace than you currently maintained, but, of course, you weren’t without company. The aura of discomfort and fear gently wafted in the air ― stronger from the likes of yourself and Jisung, though minimal to non-existent from the two other males. Those two had been fearless since you met them―Hyunjin stood in front of trains for an adrenaline rush! Then again, you weren’t entirely sure as to whether that was fearlessness or recklessness. They were one and the same to that boy. 

The group passed through the forest until you found a clearing, a large field with a distant fence to halt you from further adventuring. It appeared to be the outskirts of town, past where anyone would travel for purposes other than hiking or illegal business. Hyunjin stood still with his hands rested on his hips, observing the area, “oh, this’ll do. This’ll do just fine.” 

Your eyes rolled at the antics of your best friend, trust Hyunjin to say something straight out of an 80s movie―at least, it sounded like it would be. Jisung strolled ahead, hot on the heels of Hyunjin as they ventured through the long grass. Minho eyed the ground suspiciously, hesitance floating through his orbs before mumbling, “there better not be any snakes around here.” His words clearly weren’t as quiet as he had hoped, as Jisung stumbled away from the grass with a sharp gasp at the announcement. A huff passed Hyunjin’s lips at the other boys’ dramatics, causing you to shift an eyebrow in question―he had no right to be judgemental, he was the most dramatic of all. 

“Chill out, you buffoons. There’s short grass ahead, we’ll set up there,” well, that made sense. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Jisung stumbled to his feet and worked to catch up with Hyunjin’s footsteps. 

The process of setting up a tent had been… difficult, to say the least ― “Jisung, how the fuck do we set this up?” “Just read the instructions?” “They’re in Russian!” ― though the four of you eventually managed to successfully pitch the tent. Though, in all honesty, the sun had started to set by the time it was standing. That was at least an hour ago. Now, you lay still in your sleeping bags and mumbled descriptions of distant memories and under-developed universal theories. 

“Hyunjin, move your irritatingly long legs so they’re resting somewhere other than my feet,” Minho grumbled. 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Your mind wandered back to the adventures of that day, dawdling across train tracks and praying none of the smoking vehicles came running up behind you. The memory struck you like lightning; you remembered the time you dawdled down the wrong train tracks and ran for your life. A slight laugh passed your lips at the image of your younger self frantically running, “hey, do you remember when we tried to almost got murked by that gang on the outskirts of town?” Hyunjin mumbled an agreement, a fond smile on his face. Jisung piped up to laugh about how he almost ‘shit his lungs out of his ass’. Although you were able to laugh now, you all knew there was nothing funny about the primal fear you felt in that moment. The fear of the unknown; of death. Silence settled over the four of you momentarily before Minho voiced new information softly. 

“I almost killed one of them.” 

Jisung just about shot up in his sleeping bag, “what?” he exclaimed. 

Minho maintained his characteristic calm composure as he explained, “yeah, it was a few months before we went down there. I was still hanging out with Hongjoong and that gang,” ah, the days of Minho being a gang. They were fond―somewhat fond―memories, “one of them had beat up Mingi, got the wrong guy or something, so Hongjoong and I went after him.” 

In all honesty, you never knew Kim Hongjoong very well, nor did you remember much about him. You were never close with him and he’d moved away before any sort of friendship could bud, but you knew Song Mingi well―rather, you knew of him. He was a bubbly kid, tall and friendly with a goofy smile. There was something about him that exuded innocence and happiness, like he was crafted by embers of the burning yellow ball in the sky. 

“We didn’t mean to get him that bad, but we couldn’t stop ourselves,” Minho mumbled softly, his mind wandering off to a different space as he blurted out the words, “Mingi didn’t do anything.” 

The three of you shared a look before turning back to focus on the oldest, his face blank as his eyes clouded over with thought, concern, nostalgia. Hyunjin cleared his throat awkwardly, “well, it’s in the past now. We learnt to never travel down those tracks again,” he shifted around in his sleeping bag and closed his eyes. 

Jisung had proposed the idea of keeping someone on lookout, claiming he didn’t want to get “fucking murked by a coyote or something”. There was the initial suggestion of taking shifts, but Jisung didn’t seem willing to take up the role and Minho said he was “too old to skip sleep”. Hyunjin didn’t give you a chance before saying he’d stay up all night ― of course he wasn’t actually planning on staying up all night, just until Jisung had knocked out for long enough to be unaware of the lack of surveillance. It didn’t matter, though, you both ended up out there after you tossed and turned for a solid thirty minutes. The wind was howling, the tent thrashing from side-to-side at the sharp movements of air. Hyunjin sighed with discontent, “why didn’t we check the forecast before we left?” A light chuckle passed your chapped lips. 

“Because the forecast is never correct,” Hyunjin rolled his eyes at your matter-a-fact tone, a slight smile gracing his moonlit features. It was very clear in that moment — and many others, if you were being honest with yourself — why so many girls had thrown themselves at him over the years. All of that started in your first year of school, when a pigtailed girl claimed it was Hyunjin’s neat cursive writing that attracted her, not his cute face—of course that was a crock of shit, it had always been about Hyunjin’s face. It shouldn’t have been, but people were shallow like that. 

His visuals had never crossed your mind, not until your early teenage years at least. You were thirteen when it first struck you, bundled up in sleeping bags in your best friend’s lounge room watching some teen movie. It wasn’t something you focused on, your eyes had drifted to your giggly friend and refused to move. His hair was black, dark eyes curved into crescent moons as he attempted to stifle laughter at the current scene. Skin smooth, blue winter pyjama shirt buttoned up to the collar and a pillow clutched between his arms. With a tilted head, he turned and stared back at you with curiosity, “what is it?” 

You look perfect. “Nothing,” you smiled tightly. 

“What are you thinking about?” The question passed Hyunjin’s lip in a voice of honey and warmth, comforting in the midst of the vicious whipping wind. 

You shrugged slightly as you formulated an excuse, “just the future. What I’ll do after school,” Hyunjin hummed solemnly. He didn’t like talking about the future, mainly because it brought in thoughts of losing everyone and everything he’s ever loved. He didn’t want to think about a world where that happened, even if it was inevitable, though the words manage to spill out before he could catch them. 

“Will I ever lose you?” 

You were dumbfounded. Lose you? Of course he’d never lose you, “how could you ever lose me? I won’t let you, Hwang,” you attempted to brighten the glum atmosphere. 

Picking at his cuticles, he shrugged his shoulders slightly, “I’m not good enough for you, I’ll never be enough for you.” A frown formed on your lips at Hyunjin’s pessimism, eyebrows furrowing in satisfaction and sadness. You never knew he felt so little of himself. 

“Hey,” the word was spoken gently from your lips, hands reaching out to cup Hyunjin’s face and turn him towards you. He still had a scratch on his lip from that last fight he was in, “you are more than you think, Hyunjin. So much more,” the glaze of your eyes held such sincerity and honesty, “you can do anything you want, man,” yet Hyunjin still couldn’t make himself believe you. 

Eyes downcast, “yeah,” he mumbled distantly, “anything.” 

The four of you walked home in a comfortable silence the next morning, accepting it would be the last time any of you felt this free. 

At the age of twenty-one, Jisung became distant. It was understandably so, Minho had been found dead and was buried within a week of the discovery. There was no proper time to grieve about the loss, everyone expected you to go back to work as if nothing had changed—nothing’s wrong. Everything was wrong, so fucking wrong. Jisung and Minho were never ‘official’ because neither of them had the bravery to face discrimination for being something other than straight. You never knew whether Minho was homosexual or bisexual, even pansexual maybe, but it never mattered. All you could wish was that he was happy, at least once, before he was laid to rest. Jisung closed himself off, became a silent and reclusive man who lived on the outskirts of town. He was a truck driver, swinging between different towns before inevitably returning to the one that seemed to have something against him. It sucked the life from him, it took everything from him; he hated that fucking town. You didn’t see him after Minho’s funeral, not in the way friends see each other, at least. Of course you’d spot him in town occasionally, exiting his house or driving back home after weeks away. Yet, you never spoke a word to him. Never said a ‘hi’, never wanted to speak in case it pushed him too far—broke him, if you will. Rather, you let him seclude himself and suffocate in loneliness; if only you didn’t make that foolish mistake. 

When you were twenty-three you bid your goodbyes to Hyunjin, planning to move away and pursue a career that, frankly wouldn’t make you happy, but it would give you enough money to pay rent for a good place. That’s all you really needed, you supposed. Hyunjin bid his last goodbyes with a letter. It was written in his beautiful handwriting, the calligraphy style he liked to brag when he was younger, but seemed to have forgotten about as he emerged into his teenage years — he never forgot, he still prided himself on such perfect penmanship. It was a letter that contained words you never expected your best friend to say, though always secretly hoped to hear. It was a letter that slapped you across the face for being so blind and cowardly. It was a letter about how he fell in love with you, too hard and too fast, and how he always knew you’d be too good for him, one way or another. You hated when Hyunjin put himself down with such words, but you hated knowing that you caused most of them. The boy was incomparable, so unique and one-of-a-kind. There would never be another Hyunjin in your life, never one to take your heart and treat it as his own. Hyunjin was more than he thought. So, so much more. 

“I love you, more than you know. In more ways than a platonic-friendship-type of love. The kind of romantic love that’s, probably, unrequited,” Hyunjin, you foolish boy, your love has never been unrequited. 

Perhaps you were the fool, not Hyunjin, for keeping your mouth shut about your secret attraction for years. Heaving a sigh, your hands folded the letter closed, you were such a fool. 

In your life, you had three great friends that taught you many lessons — many lessons they failed to learn themselves. 

Minho often preached about staying true to who you are, exuding confidence in your identity and being fearless of others. Yet he failed to accept who he was, though that was fair enough in your opinion. He had his own struggles, many struggles, but never wanted to confront them. Minho never wanted to confront, let alone accept, the possibility of being subjectively weak; he struggled under the pressure to conform to masculinity—no weaknesses whatsoever. Gosh, that boy was one of the strongest you knew. One of the kindest, too, a heart of gold, truly. That boy didn’t deserve to die, none of your friends did. 

Jisung often told you to be careful with your feelings, yet easily gave his away to Minho. The boy had always had an eye for detail, noticing the veins in leaves and miniscule dirt stains on a vintage photograph in his shed, but he tended to overlook the bigger ideas. The things that were right in front of him, you supposed. He failed to notice how he gave away his feelings to one person so easily. He never noticed that he left no room for the regrowth or reacquisition of those feelings, but maybe he just didn’t care. Minho made him feel so peaceful and at ease, how could he find it within him to care? 

Hyunjin, where did you start with Hyunjin? Your friend since childhood, your first love, someone you’d never be able to forget—someone you’d never allow yourself to forget. He taught you to be bold, a little reckless to spice up life — though not ‘stand in front of a train’ type of recklessness. He spent years teaching you to overcome your struggles, though you felt as if you failed to tend to his. Of course, he’d never see it that way, but he was head over heels for you. Just as you were for him. The boy had always been talented, insanely so, with perfect handwriting and a unique perspective on the inner workings of life, ambitions and dreams. There was so much potential held inside his body, marked with scars and bruises from the fights he’d had through the years. He’d always told you to never settle for anything less than perfect. Perhaps that’s why he never wanted you to settle for him: he never saw himself as perfect. You wanted him to do the same, go as far as he possibly can to fulfil his limitless potential. But, that didn’t happen—life could never treat him kindly. Hyunjin never made it out of that shitty town. It pained you to think about it — he could’ve been anything, anyone. He had so much potential, yet that place sucked it away and kept him in an iron grip. When you thought about it, you realised none of your friends got lucky like you. One way or another, they all stayed in that town—dead or alive, it didn’t matter, they all remained. Many would’ve seen that as luck being on your side, but without at least one of them by your side—without Hyunjin by your side—what was the point of going? 

Walking back into that town had never felt so eerie. Nothing was the same as you remembered. Visually, nothing changed, yet at the same time everything had changed. You were no longer a young adult searching for opportunities, no longer a teenager stressing over school work, or dragging yourself to the treehouse in the middle of the night to tend to Hyunjin’s wounds. You wondered if that thing was still intact. That’s not why you were back in town, far from it, but something ate away at you. Was your rickety hangout still standing? Or had it fallen apart after all of you left, in more than one way. 

There was no noise coming from within the wooden confines of the treehouse. You were glad it was still there, even if no one used it. It felt like you were running on autopilot, your feet guiding you up the ladder as you opened the hatch to pull yourself into the space. You swore it was bigger than this. Eyes darted around, taking in the old drawings on the walls, outdated comics and dusty packs of cards. Nothing had changed. You gasped, startled, as you made eye contact with another person, sat in a slightly slumped position across from you. The corner of their lip was slightly bloody, a cigarette dangling from the other side. A reminiscent smirk crawled on their lips, it couldn’t be. 

“Long time no see, darling,” he hadn’t changed one bit, “and just in time! You can patch me up before the service.” 

There was a bitterness in his tone, one you could taste on your own tongue as you contemplated the right words to say. It was mockingly cheerful, like he knew everything was falling apart and there was nothing that could stop it ― who are you kidding, that’s exactly what was happening ― “because that’s the only reason people ever return to this town, right? To mourn the ones that’ll never leave.” 

Words couldn’t pass your lips. There was so much you wanted to say: questions, nonchalant agreements, apologies. It was bittersweet, really, to be meeting like this. It was like old times. A bloodied Hyunjin sat against the wall of the treehouse, nonchalant in the pain of being beaten up, fully prepared to be patched up by your delicate, unbruised hands. But everything was different. Minho no longer whinged over losing a card game, Jisung no longer cheated his way to success in said card games. They’d stopped doing that years ago, and it was an activity they could never engage in again. Hyunjin noticed the despair clouding your gaze, guilt etching your face. A frown creasing his face as he caught your train of thought―you had a habit of blaming yourself, feeling guilty about nothing. 

“It feels weird, doesn’t it?” 

You nodded slightly, “almost... wrong.” 

Hyunjin tossed aside the cigarette, crushing it under his shoe before he opened his arms welcomingly. You didn’t realise how much you’d missed him until the moment you crawled into his arms―you missed all of them. All you wanted was to say one last goodbye to Minho, one last goodbye to Jisung. To thank them for everything, tell them how hard they worked, how incredible they were to be around. Fuck, you missed them so much, you couldn’t help it. Tears were already falling and staining Hyunjin’s t-shirt before you could even attempt to keep them in. A solemn sigh passed his lips, hand stroking your hair as a form of agreement. He’d always fantasised about having a solid friend group that lasted into adulthood, then into the elderly ages. A part of him knew it would never end that way, but he didn’t think this would be the outcome of your friendship circle. When he pondered the potential loss of contact he always assumed it would be a result of moving on to better things, better places and people. He couldn’t help but think back to that camping trip; it was the most carefree time in his life. None of you could’ve ever imagined this outcome ― you could imagine moving away and losing contact over time, you couldn’t imagine being pulled apart by something out of your control. You didn’t want to, but who would? The idea of your friends being taken before their time―before you deemed it to be their time―was almost as upsetting as it actually happening. Life and death, it was a torturous cycle for everyone involved. Hyunjin squeezed his eyes shut as fear bubbled in his chest, the fear of losing you all over again. He tightened his grip on you, what tragic lives we’ve led. 

“And then there were two.”

[mrsalwayswrite]

Touch My Hands and Heal Me (BuckyxOFC & StevexOFC)

So just a fun one shot to help me get over some writer’s block. I’ve had this idea in mind for awhile so I’m excited to finally get it out. 

Warnings: Some swearing, violence. 

Words: 6k

Touch My Hands and Heal Me

This was the last place Steve wanted to be on a Thursday night. Nothing against the bar itself but it had been a hellish week and all he wanted to do was relax in his suite in the Tower and pretend for 5 minutes that he was an average guy.

 Which is probably why Sam dragged his ass to this bar. 

And of course, Bucky tagged along even though he was just as exhausted. Either from a self-induced guilt trip or his belief in Steve's inability to stay out of trouble, Bucky grumbled but tucked his head down and followed silently. Jerk. 

 Sam led them down the streets of NYC to a little hole in the wall sports bar an air force friend recommended. 

 It always amazed Steve how easily people failed to notice him without the suit and shield. Walking down the sidewalk with a vintage Brooklyn Dodgers baseball cap on and a brown leather jacket over jeans, no one looked at him twice. Or Bucky in a black hoodie. Or Sam in a gray Nike long sleeve and ball cap. It was nice that there was somewhat a sense of esoteric, that only on the rare occasion was he swarmed now, or perhaps people were used to him. What it truly made him realize was that most people only really saw and cared about Captain America and not Steve Rogers.  No one cared about the little guy from Brooklyn anymore. All they wanted was the glorified icon of patriotism. 

 He pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, willing the tension in his head and muscles to leave. Tony and him had a long meeting with Senator Thaddeus Ross today and when it finally concluded, he fled to the gym to make use of the weight bags. He probably would be receiving a bill from Tony because of all the busted bags he left behind. The man was a genius, you would think he would have reinforced them long ago. 

 Apparently he needed a drink- according to Sam. 

 He was pleasantly surprised when he walked through the door of the bar -The Old Guys Tavern-  and found it calm. It was a smaller establishment, nestled between a BBQ restaurant and a sporting goods store on a back road. It was a sports bar with several TVs showing different games playing, framed pictures all over the walls of different famous athletes, a few framed mirrors, a jukebox in the back corner near 2 pool tables. A long bar took up half of one wall, across from it several booths and a few scattered tables near the pool tables. It was simple and felt reminiscent of how bars used to be. The lights were dim but instead of feeling like a club -no matter what Natasha said he was NOT doing that again- it gave an illusion of privacy. 

 He quickly noticed that among the 23 people already there, most were male and either middle aged or elderly, with the leaning towards those with gray hair. 

 "I thought you two would feel at home here amongst your age group." Sam quipped, scanning the bar with a smile on his face. 

 "Does that mean we need to find a kindergarten for you?" Bucky retorted. 

 Steve just shook his head as Sam laughed.

 They settled into an open leather booth, a Minnesota Vikings versus Green Bay Packers football game played on the TV across from them. 

 "You dragged our asses out here, you got first round."

 Sam narrowed his eyes at Bucky. "A'ight man, I see how it is. I try to help you have a social life and this is the thanks I get. See if I bring you out again, cyborg."

 Steve watched Sam walk up to the bar before turning to his oldest friend, seated across from him. The dark rings under his eyes only confirming how the week had affected him too. 

 "I'm fine, Steve."

 "Your face says otherwise."

 The corners of Bucky's lips turned up for a moment. "I'll be fine. It's just…" He sighed heavily, running a hand through his long, dark hair. 

 "A reminder that we're in the wrong century?"

 "Yeah...we shouldn't be here."

 "I know, Buck. I know."

 3 days ago they had attended Dum-Dum Dugan's funeral and it hit them both hard. He had been the last Howling Commando alive besides Steve and Bucky and it felt like a knife in the heart. They did not just lose a friend. It felt like the closing of a book. Another reminder of something they used to be a part of, something that they knew, was gone. Yet here they were, drowning in the murky waters of the 21st Century. 

 "Alright boys, here it is." Sam slid a glass bottle of Heineken to both of them while slipping next to Steve in the booth with his own. "You guys made plans for next week yet?"

 "Clint said we could visit the farm. Natasha and Wanda will go, I'm certain." Steve said, idly rubbing the label as the condensation dampened his finger. 

 "Vision will go if Wanda goes." Bucky snorted, taking a sip of his beer. 

 "You sure it's alright if I leave? I can tell my family that something has come up. Can't promise they won't show up at the Tower with enough food to feed an army though." Sam smirked.

 "No, you deserve to go see your family." Steve said, hoping to hide the pain in his voice. "Buck and I will figure out something." He hoped. 

 Next week was Thanksgiving, the first one Steve and Bucky would be together for since 1944. The one last year, Bucky had been in Wakanda, still working to get the trigger words out of his head. Thankfully Princess Shuri figured it out. Which reminded Steve to contact T'Challa soon to get an update -from his viewpoint- of the revisions of the Accords. Steve did not trust Senator Ross' update from earlier. That man had an agenda and clearly resented the need to keep the Avengers updated. 

 "I'll make sure to bring some of my mom's pumpkin pies back for you guys. Soon as I tell her the great Captain America ate the whole one last year, she will lose her mind."

 Steve blushed and rubbed the back of his neck at the reminder.  "I didn't realize it was to share. I thought Pepper bought it for the kitchen."

 "Hey! Don't compare my momma's home-made, award-winning pumpkin pie to some cheap-ass, store-bought kind! I should kick your ass for that insult."

 "Oh, I want to see that." Bucky deadpanned, keeping his eyes on the TV across from them. 

 Steve changed the subject before the bickering started. He knew it was mostly in good humor but sometimes it grated on his nerves. "Parker stopped by this morning to try out the new suit Tony made him."

 "You still seriously considering using him on the field? He's a kid." Sam questioned. 

 "He took out both you and Buck at the airport."

 "Alright, touché, but still. A damn kid."

 "I told Tony if he keeps his grades up and practices hard with us, I won't fight it." Steve smirked. "But if he gets hurt, Tony has to deal with Aunt May."

 That made them all chuckle. Once when Peter practiced with them, he had landed wrong and twisted his ankle. From what they heard, you would have thought Peter had lost a limb with how Aunt May berated Tony and fussed over her nephew. It had become a running joke amongst the team. 

 An hour passed, Steve and Bucky both having to take their turn buying the beers, as they chatted or just watched the games on the TVs. Everything had been going so well, which should have been a flashing beacon that something was going to happen. If this week had been any indication. 

 One of the guys who had been playing pool with a few others started their way. He was in his forties, slightly overweight, in business attire, looking like he got off work at an office and came out to grab a beer with friends.  Steve had noticed him several times over the past hour glancing their way but paid no mind. No one else had approached them or even acknowledged them. Most likely someone trying to figure out how he recognized their faces. 

 He approached the table and stared at each of them before a toothy, crooked grin appeared. Looking back over his shoulder, he called over to his friends. "It is those goddamn Avenger shits. I knew it. Coming in here like they own the place."

 "Hey, back off, man." Sam tried to keep his cool but Steve could see that the guy had gotten under his skin. "We are just here for a beer, minding our own business."

 "You know, I bet all those stunts you pull, the "world-saving" and shit, it's all fake. You pretend, keep the masses happy and feeling protected while you just live like kings off government money. Yeah…I know the truth."

 Before any of them could respond to the guy, about how very wrong he was, a new voice from the bar spoke up. 

 "Chuck, quit trying to start a fight. They could kick your ass without breaking a sweat."

 The guy -apparently Chuck- glared over his shoulder at the speaker. "Shut up. No one asked you to get involved."

 A woman probably mid twenties slid down off the bar stool she was sitting on and stalked their way. Steve can't help but watch her, feeling as if a hurricane was approaching.  Her honey blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, her hazel eyes stared defiantly at Chuck. She wore a loose white t-shirt with some kind of symbol on the front and black leggings that highlighted all her curves and showed off her long legs. Combat boots and a dark leather jacket completed the look. 

 "Just cause you're still pissed doesn't mean you gotta start shit. Now, leave them alone, you're bothering them."

 "We will leave. We didn't come here to start trouble." Steve injected, glancing between the man and woman standing at the end of the table. 

 She turned slightly to pin him with a pointed look that had him regretting his words and shutting his mouth.  She turned back to the guy -Chuck- and they glared at each other for several long, awkward, tense moments before he huffed and took a step back. 

 "Bitch," he muttered but glared at her still, "probably going to let them all fuck you like the whore you are."

 As soon as the last word spewed out of his mouth, she hit him with a right hook that left him half sprawled on the table beside them. 

 "Dee, no fighting. God, girl, get out of here!" The bartender called over, clearly exasperated as he ran his hand through his white hair. 

 "Sorry, Ray." She shrugged unapologetically. Flexing the fingers on her right hand, she turned back to Steve, Bucky and Sam. "Have a good night, boys." 

 Steve watched her walk out of the bar. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Chuck get up, spitting blood on the floor, with the help of one of his friends. He looked like he wanted to say something but his friend quickly dragged him back to the pool tables. 

 Perfect. Steve was not in the mood for a fight. 

 "Think she's ok?" Bucky was staring at her retreating form also, even when she disappeared from view. He turned back slowly to meet their confused looks. "That hit...might have broken something."

 They sat in silence for a second before sliding out of the booth and heading out.

 The air had a winter's bite to it but not yet unbearable. Although it took a lot for Steve to feel really cold now. Those rare moments always brought up painful memories of icy waters and darkness. Something he prefered not to think about. 

 They managed to glimpse her before she turned down another street. Simultaneously they started to jog to catch up. Thankfully not too many people on the sidewalk stopped to stare at three huge guys casually jogging at 10pm at night in jeans. 

 "Hey yo! Dee!" Sam called out as they turned down the street.

 She stopped, slowly turning around to watch them approach with a single eyebrow raised. "You boys lost?"

 "Naw, we wanted to see if you're alright. That was quite a punch."

 Thank God for Sam's ability to always talk. Steve never thought he would be glad for that one day but right now he was. Staring at her, he felt tongue-tied.  

 She smiled, holding her hand up and wiggling her fingers. "I'm fine. Not a big deal."

 Steve could not help but notice her nails were painted a shimmery dark blue. 

 "Why did you do it?" They all looked at Bucky with his hands in his pockets as he spoke. "I mean, you didn't have to stand up for us. Hell, he has to weigh twice what you do. So...how come you got involved?"

 "I don't like bullies."

 "Ah shit, she's the female version of you, Steve." Bucky bemoaned, dragging a hand down his face.

 She giggled, the sound rich and feminine, and Steve could not help but smile in response. 

 "I'll take that as a compliment, Sergeant Barnes." 

 "Call me Bucky, please."

 "Ok, Bucky."

 "I guess you already know Steve and I." Sam said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Your name Dee?"

 She seemed to hesitate for a second, looking back over her shoulder. "Lydia."

 "Nice to meet you, Lydia. Thanks for helping out back there."

 "Oh believe me, it was my pleasure. I've been wanting to hit him for a while. I doubt Ray will let me back though."

 "Cause you hit a rude customer? I'd think you're doing him a favor." Sam snorted.

 "Ah no, I may have hit Chuck's cousin last week...broke his nose."

 The three stared at her in varying degrees of amusement and shock.

 "What? He was bad mouthing the New England Patriots. Tom Brady is my boy."

 "Shit, doll, you're something else." Bucky laughed. 

 "Thank you. Now it's lovely to meet you all but I need to go. Tootles."

 "Wait!" Steve was not sure why he stopped her except that some part of him was not ready to lose her yet. He took a step closer. "Where are you headed?"

 She raised an eyebrow, clearly wondering what he was getting at. "Home."

 "Let us walk you. It's the least we can do."

 "It's not that far, I promise. I'm sure you superheroes have better things to do. I'll be fine."

 "Come on, Lydia, we got you kicked out. Let us make sure you get home safe, yeah?" Sam joined the petition. 

 She chewed her bottom lip, eyes scanning between the three of them before letting out a sigh. "If it makes you feel better."

 ----------

 When Bucky went to the bar with Steve and Sam, his expectations were to keep an eye on Steve, taunt Sam and just pretend that he had actually slept the past five days instead of pacing or staring at a wall all night. 

 Watching a beautiful dame punch a guy to defend them… this night got a whole lot more interesting. 

 The four of them walked down the sidewalk together, Steve and Bucky behind Sam and her...Lydia.

 "So, you know who we are and what we do," Sam said casually, "tell us about you."

 "Well I get into fights at bars and I watch football. I'm not that interesting."

 Bucky could not help but snort. A shared glance with Steve confirmed his own amusement.  

 "Alright. Who taught you to fight? You got a mean swing that clearly shows some training." Sam continued. 

 "My brother." She shrugged. "What were you guys doing out? I would think you'd have booze at the Tower or be more likely to go to a high-class, expensive bar instead of Ray's little place."

 "Naw, we just wanted somewhere quiet and out of the way. Besides, if we break out any booze, Tony always somehow senses it and magically appears."

 She laughed, and Bucky felt his heart lighten at the sound. 

 "Maybe we were hoping to meet someone as beautiful as you, doll." Bucky was not sure where the words came from, but for a moment he felt like the Bucky from the 40s who knew how to charm and flirt.  A forgotten piece of him buried beneath the decades of trauma endured under HYDRA'S thumb. 

 She spun around to look at him, still walking backwards with a smirk and teasing glint in her eyes. "I'm far from beautiful but I'm more than happy to pretend for you."

 He chuckled, he could feel Steve's curious eyes on him but he paid no mind. It felt good to remember this piece of him, to remind himself he was more than a damaged person, even for only a minute. "Dollface, you just gave the best right hook I've ever seen a dame throw. I'm certain that is the sexiest thing I've seen in a long time."

 Laughing, she paused momentarily to slide to his side and kiss his cheek. Her arm slipped through his and they continued walking like nothing had happened. 

 Except something had happened. 

 With her touch, it felt like all his senses tripled in intensity. Her kiss...such an innocent kiss yet it set his blood on fire and brought out a warmth in his bones that even HYDRA could not freeze out. 

 "You go around kissing strangers often?"

 She winked at Steve. "Only the cute ones."

 "She called you cute, man!" Sam laughed. 

 Bucky pretended to scoff. "Cute...I'm not cute. Take that back." He nudged her with his elbow, thankful she was on his right side. 

 "Would you prefer devilishly handsome?"

 "Hey, if the shoe fits…" Bucky shrugged, trying to keep a straight face. Steve's chuckling almost broke it. His blue eyes met her hazel and he realized he was glad they had met. She was beautiful in a girl-next-door kind of way- Cupid's bow lips, button nose, soft features. She was tall for most women, about 5' 10" even in just combat boots. Yet it was the energy around and within her that made her stand out. She felt like joy...she radiated life...there was a sparkle in her eyes that had not been tainted by the evils of this world yet. 

 "Pain in the ass also fits." Steve muttered, walking on Lydia's other side. 

 "Punk."

 "Jerk."

 She slipped her other arm through Steve's.  "I'm pretty sure 'trouble' is the best description."

 "Now that I can attest to." Sam said, leading the group. 

 They walked another block in the same formation. Lydia between Steve and himself, her arms looped through theirs. They chatted, flirted and teased easily, like they had known each other their whole lives. It was odd but Bucky was not complaining. It felt good. He found himself hoping this was not the last time they would see her. The warmth infusing itself into him from her touch was addictive. Her laughter and smiles made the darkness in his mind slowly fade. If the shared looks between him and Steve just over her head meant anything, he knew Steve felt the same way. 

 "My apartment is just down the street. You don't have to walk me to the door."

 "Trying to get rid of us?" Steve asked.

 She just laughed and shook her head. "When did I become so lucky to have three such handsome gentlemen to escort me home?"

 "When you slugged a guy to defend us." Bucky caught her eye and winked. "You're stuck with us now."

 "I'm not complaining." 

 One moment they all are laughing and talking like the best of friends. In the next moment, everything changed.

 A shot rang out.

 Bucky could feel the bullet whizz between his and Lydia's head. 

 Shit. 

 In a split second all three guys went into defense mode. Steve grabbed Lydia, shielding her with his body as he pushed her against a brick wall in a side alley. Immediately, Bucky and Sam flanked him on either side. Without a word, Bucky pulled out a pistol for both Steve and Sam, handing them over, then retrieved one for himself. He knew after this, Steve would criticize the amount of weapons on him for just a run to the bar. Bucky did not plan on sharing about the amount of knives on him additionally. He did not want to worry Steve that much. The less he knew in this case, the better. 

 His eyes scanned the nearby rooftops. The trajectory of the bullet showed the shooter was somewhere above them. At least that narrowed his search. Somewhat. On the other hand, he doubted they acted alone. Why give away their position? Did the shooter just have terrible aim? Were their others? Why the hell did this have to happen now?

 His breathing slowed, senses on high alert, eyes trained for any movement. He waited, listening intently for any sign of back-up. Quickly peeking around the corner, he noticed the side road they were on was deserted. It consisted of several closed stores on the side they had been walking on and across the street was apartment complexes. Logically there should have been someone walking around at this time. It was NYC, there was always someone awake. His eagle-eyes scanned around them, searching desperately for wherever that bullet originated from. Or for the others bound to be laying in wait somewhere around here. 

 He hated being shot at. 

 "Sniper, my ten o'clock. Apartment building, top floor, third window in." He reported, glancing behind him at the others after another peek around the side. 

 Sam faced the opposite way, keeping an eye on the other side of the alley, but nodded at Bucky's report. 

 Steve hovered over Lydia, who was crouched on the dirty ground. His eyes swept over the area and the switch from casual Steve Rogers to righteous Captain America was evident. Most likely wishing he had his shield. 

 "HYDRA?"

 "Not sure." Bucky replied, grip tightening on his pistol. Of course when they were having a great time, those bastards would show up. Damn it.  "You alright, doll?"

 "Yea...yeah." She stuttered out, still crouched underneath Steve. Her eyes were wide but clear, breathing fast but manageable. His opinion of her increased. Although she seemed frightened, she was not panicking. A reaction most common in civilians being shot at for the first time. 

 Steve spoke to Bucky. "Think you can get him?"

 "Not here."

 "Go. We got your back."

 Before he moved, a hand gripped his hoodie, surprising him. Following the hand that was holding him in place, he met her eyes. 

 "Be safe." She murmured, hazel eyes meeting his stormy blue in earnest. 

 "Just for you." With a wink, he slipped out the alley, keeping to the shadows and moved silently as a ghost. 

 It did not take long for him to get into position. He only wished he had his sniper rifle.  Climbing some rickety, metal stairs attached to the back of a store, he swiftly placed himself across from the sniper on a rooftop. If he had more time, he would have preferred to go into the apartment and silently kill the sniper, but for some odd reason he felt like he was working against the clock. 

 Breath in. 

Breath out. 

Breath in. 

Breath out. 

Breathe in.

Bang. 

 Holding the smoking pistol in the direction of the apartment, he waited. There did not seem to be any further movement.  He wondered if he should go investigate, just to confirm. God, if this was HYDRA, he did not want to leave any civilians without protection. With the gunshots fired, he figured someone would have called the cops by now. Hopefully they would be useful with the civilians.  

 Racing back across the rooftop, he flew down the stairs ready to confirm the sniper's death. It was then a new sound drifted to him…and he bolted towards it. Heart racing within his chest. 

 Please no. He begged silently. 

 He turned the corner to see where the fight really was. The sniper had only been a diversion. Something to force them into the intended alley.

 They had played right into the enemy's hand. 

 Twelve guys in all black, faces covered, made the crowded alley even smaller. One was on the ground lying still, a pool of blood growing beneath his chest. Three were cornering Sam, taking turns attacking him with batons. Six were actively fighting Steve, trying to take him down using tasers, yet they were never able to subdue him fully.  Two had Lydia between them, both gripping one of her arms each as she struggled and thrashed to escape looking like a wildcat.

 Please no. 

 Bucky threw himself into the fight, fear and rage pouring into his blood to fuel him. He tackled one of the men cornering Sam, a knife slipping in between the man's helmet and Kevlar, blood spurting from his neck. Bucky rolled off him, and in two strides jabbed a knife into the back of the knees of one of Steve's attackers. The man dropped, howling and unable to stand. Another swipe and kick brought another man under his knife, blood oozing where a kidney was. 

 "Lydia!" Steve cried, throwing one of his attackers against the brick wall behind him. 

 The two men were trying to manhandle her into a doorway but her twisting, kicking and flailing made it difficult. 

 Bucky threw his bloodied knife into the thigh of one of them. The man stumbled, almost dropping Lydia, who cried out at the harsh treatment. Before the other man could raise his own pistol, Bucky grabbed it with his metal hand and crushed the end. Pure rage filled him at the thought of them trying to take her. He punched the man, now holding the useless gun, in the side of the head with his metal arm. The man dropped like a rock. The pistol bounced on the ground when it fell from his hand. 

 In a fluid motion, Bucky yanked the knife out of the other man's thigh and kicked him in the head. The man's head rocked back further than humanly possible with a cracking sound. 

 Silence hung over the alley after Steve and Sam knocked out or killed their attackers. Bucky stood there for a long moment, surveying the carnage around him, and trying to steady his breathing. His hands shook slightly. Blood was splattered on his black hoodie and jeans. It had been so easy -too easy- to take the lives of those men. Even though he did it to protect Steve, Sam and Lydia...his hands never felt clean. Would he ever be clean? Would he always be a monster?

 "Bucky?"

 His rage evaporated at the soft whimper of his name.

 "It's ok, doll. I got you." He pulled her into his arms, away from the bodies of the men who tried to take her. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her face buried in his chest while his own arms held her close. She trembled but if it was from fear or fading adrenaline, he was unsure. Murmuring soothing words to her, he ran a hand up and down her back in comfort. 

 Why did this have to happen tonight?

 He glanced back over to see the spread of bodies on the ground, all wearing black clothing that looked vaguely military. Nothing like what HYDRA usually wore. Sam was on the phone, probably calling the fellow Avengers for clean up and to scout the area. Steve was stepping over the downed men, coming to his side. 

 "Are you hurt?"

 Bucky shook his head, his eyes scanning over his best friend. "You good?"

 "Yeah, she ok?"

 Lydia turned her head, reaching an hand out to place on his forearm. "I'm fine...thank you."

 Steve patted her hand on his arm but did not remove it. He glanced around once more before meeting Bucky's eyes. "This doesn't...these men don't seem like HYDRA."

 "I noticed. Wrong weapons and fighting tactics. More like mercenaries."

 "Mmmm." He rubbed the back of his neck before looking at Lydia, still in Bucky's arms. "They seemed pretty intent on taking you. Any reason why?"

 That question had itched at Bucky too. HYDRA would be more interested in taking himself and Steve. She had been the focus of this attack. He shuddered to think what would have happened if they let her walk home alone. 

 "No...no...I don't recognize them."

 "It was a long shot. Well I think you should stay with…" suddenly Steve's eyes widened and he recoiled. A second later, blood soaked his white t-shirt in the middle of his chest. 

 Then the sound of a muffled shot rang out in the alley. 

 Bucky glanced over to see one of the downed men Steve had been fighting, on his knees, pistol extended. He staggered to his feet and took off back on the side road. 

 "Sam!" Bucky cried, pointing to the escaping man. 

 The Falcon did not hesitate. He raced after the man, a snarl on his face, eyes determined. 

 Turning back to his best friend, disbelief clouded his mind as he saw all the blood soaking Steve's shirt. 

 No. 

 No.

 NO! 

 Steve placed a hand on his chest, a dazed look on his face as he pulled it back and watched the blood drip off his skin. Ever so slowly, he dropped to his knees, still staring at his hand. 

 "No, no, no! Damn it, Steve! NO!" Bucky moved to his side, practically ripping the leather jacket off Steve's shoulders and tearing the t-shirt in two to see how extensive the injury was. The bullet had entered Steve's upper back, almost hitting his spine and exited the middle of his chest, leaving a gaping hole. Blood poured out, leaving trails of red on Steve’s torso. 

 "Sorry, Buck."

 "No, no. Don't you start that shit. You'll be fine. Damn super soldier shit is good for something." He tried to staunch the blood flow with Steve's ripped shirt but the training in the back of his mind told him it was useless. His lungs would be filling with blood now. It would take a miracle to save him. Yet Bucky did not stop his first aid. He refused to let his best friend die. He couldn't...he could not live without Steve. They had only just found each other again. He couldn't...God, please no, not Steve...he had to live. Bucky was not ready to be alone again.

 Lydia slipped to Steve's other side. Gently she took his bloody hand and clasped it between her own. Tears coated her cheeks as she watched. 

 "Buck…"

 "No, stop talking. Everyone is on their way. Sam called them. It'll be fine."

 "I need you to…"

 "Nope, don't even start trying that speech."

 Steve rolled his eyes, blood beginning to taint his lips. "Jerk."

 "Punk."

 "Steve, look at me." Lydia stated. Both soldiers watched her, her commanding tone unable to ignore. "You're going to be alright but you'll still need to rest for a while, ok?" She glanced over at Bucky, a fire burning in her eyes. "Hold him steady."

 What?

 He did not have time to question her before the strangest thing happened.  

 Lydia leaned forward and pressed her lips to Steve's bloodied ones. One of her hands cradled the back of his head, as her kiss deepened. Even on the brink of death, Steve had no problem reciprocating. His bloodied hand cupped her cheek, leaving behind a stain on her skin. Their lips moved as if they had done this before...no hesitation...no awkward fumbling… What started off as a soft caress was turning into something more heated. 

 Bucky momentarily felt like a voyeur and was beyond confused. Steve should be saving his breath, not exerting himself. Damn that looked like a great kiss though. 

 The kiss lasted only five seconds and when they separated, both were breathing heavy like it had been far longer. Her lips were tainted red now, but her eyes shone brighter like starlight caught in her irises. 

 She looked at Bucky, tears streaming down her cheeks unashamedly. "Take care of him." Quickly she leaned over Steve, grabbing a handful of Bucky’s  hoodie, and gave him a hard kiss on the lips before standing up and dashing away. 

 "What….LYDIA!" Bucky yelled after her, watching her run down the alley and turn onto another street. Part of him wanted to chase after her and demand answers but a cough from Steve diverted his attention. 

 "Hey, it's ok. They will…."

 "Look." Steve interrupted, motioning at Bucky's hand. 

 He glanced down to see scraped knuckles, probably from when he tackled one of the men. Not a big deal. The serum would heal them within a day. Yet they were healing...immediately...right before his eyes. Within seconds, they looked completely normal, only Steve's blood marred them. 

 What?

 Immediately, Bucky pulled the torn shirt from Steve's chest, gaze locked onto the exit wound that would surely kill his best friend. A gush of blood should have resulted from the compact being removed from the wound, blood allowed to flow freely once again. Yet nothing happened. Dried blood caked his chest turning a dark red but there was nothing bright red...nothing fresh. 

 "Holy shit."

 In the next moment, Bucky felt as if the world tilted off its axis. 

 The wound slowly began to heal. Muscle and skin grew and reattached. The once graying complexion that Steve wore was returning to a healthy pink. His breathing deepened, not short, rapid breaths of dying lungs. Steve's blue eyes stared at Bucky, mouth gaping open. Curious and a bit frantic, Bucky peeled the shirt off Steve's back to see the entry wound. Both holes, once profusely bleeding and killing his best friend now looked like they were weeks healed. Some redness around the sites and fresh skin sealing the holes but still tender. 

 WHAT?!?!

 "Steve…." He did not know what else to say. His oldest friend, his best friend, his brother...he was dying...and Bucky could not save him. It was his worst nightmare come to pass. The very thing he dreaded most. Now though…

 Steve stared back at him wide-eyed before turning his head to look down the alley where Lydia fled. "She healed me….she saved…" He looked back at Bucky. "Who is she?"

 "I'm not sure…"

 "We need to find her."

 Steve started to get up but Bucky pushed him back down. "You were just shot, punk. She said to rest."

 "We can't let her get away! What if more of these mercenaries find her?!"

 "We'll look for her. Wait till the others get here. I'll go with Sam." Bucky held Steve's gaze until he relented, slumping back onto the unforgiving, concrete ground.

 The sounds of the city enveloped the quiet of the alley- car horns, sirens blaring, someone singing loudly the next street over. The two sat there, waiting and thinking. Both of their minds struggling to fully comprehend what just happened but desperate to chase after her.  

 "You just want another kiss, huh?"

 Steve chuckled, rubbing a hand over his chest and wincing. "That was some kiss. It felt like electricity going through my veins."

 Bucky thought of his own quick peck and how it felt like a shock hitting him. "Yeah. That's some dame."

 "Find her, Buck. I don't…" He sighed.. "It felt...no, she felt right."

 All Bucky could do was nod. He prayed she stayed safe until they could find her. Something in his gut told him they needed her. He looked down the alley once more, wondering where she went and who she really was. 

[mostlycompetentwriter]

It’s All About The Game- Part 2

Sophomore Year

Pairing: OC x Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Genre: High School AU, Enemies to Lovers, Sports Fiction (basketball, man!)

Warnings: None (at least for this part)

Word Count: Almost 11,000

Summary:  Despite her hesitance, OC allows Changbin to become a regular mainstay in her seemingly normal high school life. But who is she to turn down someone willing to become friends? However, perhaps OC completely misread the situation because it seems like Changbin wants more than just friendship. The problem is OC has no idea how to handle his advances.

Notes: Yes, I waited until the very last day in December. New Years Resolution: Post at more appropriate times.

August

Message from Han Jisung:

I’m coming home today

My fingers trembled with excitement as I typed out a short reply, eager for the opportunity to see Jisung again after an entire summer waiting for his return. My only saving grace came in the form of the well-intended letters he sent in the mail from his campsite up north, talking about all the activities his older, and overly enthusiastic, camp counselor was forcing him to join. The letters made me laugh as I held them tightly in my hands, seeking out his familiar words as I found myself inadvertently experiencing his adventures with him, vicariously living through Jisung’s expertly crafted stories. They stood in stark contradiction to his contributions: various postcards from the expensive European cities his summer league basketball team were visiting to participate in tournaments.

London

I won MVP in the tournament again.

Berlin

You’d be impressed with the game I had today.

Paris

I miss you, Reynolds.

I was beginning to think Changbin actually genuinely believed I wanted to hear about all the places he visited while I was stuck in our boring hometown. In actuality, I managed an impressively over dramatic eye roll each time I found another card in my mailbox. Unlike Jisung’s meaningful letters, Changbin decided to only think about himself, as per usual, and it was already difficult knowing that we now shared a tentative friendship.

As for myself, in addition to the thrill of Changbin and Jisung’s mailings, I tried my best to enjoy my summer vacation. For example, I often joined Felix, Minho, and Hyunjin at the park to play basketball, even if it was devastatingly sad to explain basic fundamentals every time we tried to play 2 on 2. I also took the initiative of studying relentlessly for my PSATs, knowing I would be grateful for the advantage later on when I was actually forced to take the dreaded examination just for a shot at a decent University. Finally, and perhaps most significantly, I started learning how to drive from my father. Unfortunately, I was proving to be a pretty lousy motorist, often forgetting to even put the car in drive before my eager foot pressed down on the gas pedal.

In conclusion, it was a lousy summer and I was more than ready for school to start back again, even if that meant dealing with Seo Changbin for another year.

“Jisung!” 

I watched with barely contained excitement as Jisung finally located me sitting at the bar of the restaurant he recommended. A wide smile broke out across his face, eyes lighting with mischief as he joined me on the narrow bar stool next to my own. “I didn’t know it would be this crowded,” Jisung said, studying the masses of students occupying the surrounding booths and tables.

“School starts back soon,” I said with a shrug. 

“I kind of like it,” Jisung said, leaning in closer. “How was your summer?”

“Boring,” I groaned, dragging my water closer. “I’m supposed to take Driver’s Ed soon and I’m already convinced of tragic failure.”

“Tragic?” Jisung chuckled, sandy-colored bangs falling into his eyes. “Have you been practicing?”

“Almost every day,” I lamented. 

“Maybe I could help you?” Jisung suggested. “I think it’s about time you chauffeur me around instead.”

I glared at him playfully. “Is that so?”

“Look, Kayda,” Jisung grinned, “it’s not so hard once you get the hang of it, and I happen to make an excellent teacher.”

“You don’t understand what you’re dealing with,” I groaned, wincing as I remembered my father’s furious expression after running into the trash bins situated at the edge of the street for pickup.

“We can start this weekend,” Jisung suggested. 

I studied him carefully, trying to figure out if he was being serious. “Are you sure?”

“Why not?” Jisung shrugged. “I had a pretty boring summer too.”

“Your letters didn’t mention that,” I joked, unconsciously moving in closer to him, our shoulders briefly brushing together.

“There wasn’t anyone to talk to,” he said. “I didn’t like the other kids in my cabin. They were obviously not interested in camp formalities.”

“Camp formalities?”

“And decorum!” Jisung shouted, ignoring the way some of our classmates glared at his outburst. “I’ve never seen such blatant disregard for the rules.”

“What? Did they stay up after curfew?”

“Well, I did that too,” Jisung said, earning him an eye roll in return. “I’m talking about the fucking.”

I nearly choked on my water, gaping at Jisung with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

“It’s an old cliche,” Jisung went on as if he wasn’t openly discussing such a taboo activity in the middle of a public restaurant. “Camps always make teenagers extra horny.”

“And were you participating?” I dared to ask him, surprised by the little flare of jealousy that briefly ruined my previous smile.

“I made good use of my hand,” Jisung said, grinning brightly while I blushed in response, finding words incapable of describing the unusual embarrassment of hearing him talk that way. 

“What’s wrong?” Jisung continued because he definitely knew that his comment had left me flustered. “Are you alright?”

I waved him off, finishing off the entirety of my water as I tried to flush out the brilliant red undoubtedly coloring my cheeks. “It’s fine.”

“Ugh,” Jisung grimaced, attention refocusing on something behind me. “Your stupid boyfriend is here.”

“He’s not my-” I trailed off as soon as I realized that Jisung was talking about Changbin, having been relentlessly teasing me about his sudden interest since the basketball ordeal in the park. He was obviously looking for a rise which I refused to give him as I turned around to make eye contact with my life’s biggest nuisance. 

“Reynolds!” Changbin loudly announced, commanding the attention of the entire restaurant.

“He knows how to make an entrance,” Jisung grumbled, appearing unusually downtrodden as we both waited for Changbin to approach, Felix and Minho hanging behind. 

Changbin sat down next to me, immediately relaxing an arm casually against the back of my chair. I glared at the intruding limb, but Changbin didn’t take notice, far too busy signaling for our busy waitress as if his needs were more important than the rest of the restaurant’s patrons. “Did you order yet, Reynolds?” Changbin asked, eyes scanning the menu as he started listing off his demands to the poor waitress scrambling to write everything down. 

“I ate before I came here,” I said, meeting Jisung’s gaze entreatingly as if he could possibly do anything to stop Changbin.

“You like fries, right?” Changbin asked, looking up at the waitress. “Did you get that?”

The waitress patiently nodded her head, bowing slightly when Changbin dismissed her. “Did you get my postcards, Reynolds?” Changbin asked, waving off his friends after they extended an invitation to join them at an open table.

“I got them,” I offered shortly, sighing as I realized that Changbin’s return, more so than Jisung’s, certainly meant that our cherished summer vacation was truly over.

Changbin smirked. “Were you impressed, Reynolds? We went to 9 different cities in Europe.”

“Congratulations,” I muttered, frowning when Changbin ignored my sarcastic comment in exchange for the soda the waitress had brought for him. I quickly turned to Jisung. “You can get us out of here right?”

Jisung pursed his lips, bouncing his fingers against his chin in faux consideration. “I don’t know, Kayda, it’s kinda funny to see you like this.”

I glared at him, inwardly groaning when Changbin tapped on my arm, a silent demand for my attention. “I didn’t know you were here, Han,” Changbin said, scoffing slightly at the older boy.

“I’ve been here the whole time.”

Changbin narrowed his eyes. “I heard you were gone this summer too.”

“My dad forced me to go to a summer camp,” Jisung said, seemingly unbothered by Changbin’s obvious hostility.

Changbin moved in closer to me, nodding his head at our waitress when she dropped off an order of fries. “Here, Reynolds,” Changbin said, tone much lighter as he pushed them in my direction.

I rolled my eyes at him, but Changbin didn’t seem to notice. Jisung grinned, but the smile was far less authentic than usual. “When do you want to start your driving lessons, Kayda?”

“Driving?” Changbin turned to me instantly. “You asked Jisung to teach you?... I could’ve done it.”

It was almost laughable to see Changbin’s pouty expression, snatching a fry from my tray. “Jisung already has his license,” I pointed out.

“I get mine soon!” Changbin retorted.

“She’ll learn better from me,” Jisung said, already in the process of pulling out his wallet. “I have to help my mom this afternoon. I’ll see you at school, Kayda.”

I tried not to protest, offering Jisung a delicate wave as I watched him the entire time he left the dinner, pushing his way through the lingering crowd of students. “What’s his problem?” Changbin snorted, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive manner.

“How did you know I was here?” I asked Changbin, ignoring his question.

“I didn’t,” Changbin said, smile slowly returning. “But I’m glad I saw you, Reynolds.”

Despite his attitude and clear dismissal of Jisung, I couldn’t help the way my heart fluttered at his earnest declaration.

September

It was almost comical, slowly watching Jisung’s enthusiasm fade away the longer he attempted to coax me down the street in his beat-up Ford. Of course, Jisung had every right to be frustrated, especially considering how long his impromptu lesson had been progressing. At this point in time, I was deemed a lost cause and I was thoroughly embarrassed by my ineptitude.

“You don’t have to press the gas so hard,” Jisung gasped, clutching tightly to the safety bar above his head.

“Sorry,” I murmured quietly, ashamed that I couldn’t understand something so simple.

Jisung cleared his throat. “You did warn me.”

I sighed, bouncing my forehead against the steering wheel. “I don’t know why it’s hard for me.”

“Everyone learns at their own pace,” Jisung tried to reassure me, but his words had little effect on my failing confidence.

“It’s okay,” I said. “We can stop for the day.”

“Kayda,” Jisung tried again, reaching for me across the console, but I brushed his hand away, unfastening my seatbelt before grabbing the door handle. “You did fine!” Jisung insisted as he hurried to catch up to me. 

“I might as well ask my neighbor if she’ll keep driving us,” I said, pausing outside the door to my house. “I’m sorry about today. It wasn’t that fun.”

“I had a blast,” Jisung said, whining when I slapped his arm.

“You don’t need to lie.”

“Seriously, Kayda,” Jisung said, shuffling forward with slight trepidation. “I like hanging out with you.”

“Even if I tried to kill us?”

“We were never in danger,” Jisung scoffed, playfully moving in to ruffle my hair.

“Hey!” I protested.

“Keep practicing,” Jisung said. “Promise me you won’t give up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I huffed impatiently.

“Kayda...”

“Fine,” I relented. “But it’s your fault when I crash.”

The following day at school, I walked into my first-period class while mindlessly adjusting the buttons on my coat sleeve. My thoughts were occupied, which probably explained why I was so caught off-guard when I first heard his voice. I startled in the doorway, eyes growing wide when I realized Changbin was sitting at my usual table at the back of the room, a smirk pasted on his lips.

I clutched tightly to the shoulder straps of my bag, watching Changbin pull out the chair next to him, a clear invitation. I rolled my eyes but unwittingly started for the back of the room, ignoring the expressions of shock and confusion on my classmates’ faces. “You could make a bigger scene next time,” I grumbled, tossing my bag into the floor as I slouched down next to Changbin.

“You’re not more excited to see me, Reynolds?” Changbin smirked. “I transferred into this class just for you.”

“Great,” I droned sarcastically, impatiently urging the clock to move faster.

“Seems pretty boring,” Changbin remarked, fingering the edges of his brand new textbook, a stark contradiction to my well-used offering.

“I need it for my academic cluster,” I said, trying to ignore the way his arm fell across the back of my chair.

“Basketball workouts start soon,” Changbin reminded me as if I could have possibly forgotten.

“I know.”

“And as friends...” Changbin trailed off, raising one questioning brow, “some of my teammates and I spend time practicing at the park on the weekends.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“You should join us, Reynolds.”

I eyed Changbin cautiously. “Why?”

“Because,” he enunciated, gazing at me entreatingly, “we’re friends, right?”

“So you say,” I muttered, tersely bouncing my leg under the table, anxious for our teacher to arrive and end this mundane conversation.

“Saturday afternoon,” Changbin said, nodding in satisfaction. “I can pick you up around noon?”

“I don’t remember agreeing to this.”

“Well, consider it an open invitation.”

“That I decline.”

“Reynolds,” Changbin whined, “Felix will be there.”

“I didn’t know Felix was on the basketball team,” I said, growing more and more self-conscious of the way his fingers would occasionally graze against my spine.

“It’s more of friendly competition.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine, but peer pressure isn’t cool.”

“You’ll love it, Reynolds.”

I sighed because his reassurances weren’t inciting the excitement he was probably hoping for.

Message from Seo Changbin:

I’m outside, Reynolds.

“Mom, I’ll be back before dinner,” I called out into the kitchen on the way out the door.

As promised, Changbin was waiting in his car. “Reynolds,” he greeted me when I was situated inside. “You should start answering my messages.”

“Yeah,” I scoffed, fastening my seatbelt. “Let me put that on the list.”

Changbin grinned, leaning back in his leather seat as he turned on the radio. Both windows were rolled down, allowing fresh air to circulate through the car. It was still hot, but the breeze helped counter the sweat starting to perspire on my skin, even if it was a bad combination with his expense seats.

“No AC?” I muttered.

“Nature isn’t enough for you?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I grumbled, frowning at the way he laughed at the expense of my comfort. Thankfully, the drive wasn’t very long and we finally pulled into the parking lot a mere fifteen minutes later.

“You ready, Reynolds?” Changbin teased, choosing to ignore my glare as he started up the well-worn path to the courts where everyone else was already waiting. I hesitantly followed his footsteps, only allowing a reluctant smile when I saw Felix and Hyujin talking together with two unfamiliar faces. “This way,” Changbin suddenly directed, pulling me towards the group of boys with a surprisingly powerful grip. “This is Seungmin,” Changbin said, patting the boy in question roughly on the back. “And Jeongin.”

“Hi,” Jeongin offered, an adorable smile permanently in place as he politely welcomed me. 

“They’re both Freshmen,” Felix explained. “They’re trying out for the team this year.”

“Oh,” I nodded quickly. “Good luck, then.”

“They don’t need it,” Changbin scoffed, teasingly ruffling Jeongin’s hair to which the younger boy protested half-heartedly.

“Let’s pick teams,” Felix said, nodding at Changbin. “You can go first.”

Changbin took a step back, calling out for the other players. I lingered close to Felix, weary of the other boys joining our group, especially when it became clear that I was the only girl invited to play. Changbin rubbed his hands together, making a show of perusing his options. I rolled my eyes since it was obvious he would pick one of the older and more experienced boys. Yet, despite my absolute certainty, Changbin proved me wrong once again when his eyes landed on me. “Come on, Reynolds.”

I did my best to avoid looking completely stupefied while I ordered my feet to start working, falling behind Changbin while he and Felix continued rounding out their respective teams. “Again?” Hyunjin whined when he and Minho were the only two players left.

“I pick Minho,” Changbin said, smirking at the furious look Hyunjin wore as he stormed over to Felix’s side. “Let’s play!”

The sun was starting to set by the time everyone agreed to end the last game. I breathed out heavily, hands behind my hand as I tried to pull in more oxygen for my suffering lungs. It was difficult work keeping up with nine competitive teenage boys, but I was proud of my efforts, especially when it seemed like I was holding my own surprisingly well. “Not bad, Reynolds,” Changbin remarked after our team secured our first win courtesy of my well-timed jump shot.

“I’m surprised you passed it to me,” I admitted because, quite frankly, Changbin seemed to go out of his way to include me in every play. 

“You’re better than you give yourself credit for,” he said, winking at me playfully before lining up at the half-court line to start the next game. By the end of our session, my team had won 3 out of the 4 games we managed to play under the remaining sunlight. And I’m half-way convinced that Changbin missed the final three on purpose just to allow Felix’s team one victory, even if it meant listening to Hyunjin brag about their superior endurance. 

“How considerate,” I remarked to Changbin after the play.

He threw an arm around my shoulders to which I wrinkled my nose and complained about the proximity. “I’m a nice guy,” Changbin said and I despised the way I leaned in closer, an unconscious movement. “Ready to go home?” I managed a nod, ignoring the way he laughed at my speechlessness. 

I trailed behind Changbin as we walked to his car, pausing at the trunk to throw in our gym bags. And my eyes widened in surprise when Changbin reached down for the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head before tucking the drenched fabric into the waistband of his gym shorts. “What?” Changbin questioned, frowning at the obvious way my mouth gaped open.

“Nothing,” I said quickly, looking away despite how difficult it was proving to be with Changbin growing even closer.

“Good game, Reynolds,” Changbin said, and I did my best to avoid looking at his bare chest. 

“R-right,” I stuttered, blinking rapidly. “It was fun.”

Changbin’s resounding laughter was surprisingly endearing, eyes following me the entire time I entered his car.

October

Autumn was approaching which meant the days were growing shorter while a frigid cold was starting to settle, leaves falling in delicate shades of red and orange. The change in season was always expected, and I appreciated the break from the unforgiving summer months, the sun bearing down as I was often forced to retreat inside for fear of an unpleasant sunburn. But the weather wasn’t the only thing changing recently, and I knew something was wrong with Jisung, but he refused to tell me anything. “Everything’s fine,” he often reassured me, but the sentiment didn’t quite reach his eyes and his smile was forced as he talked to our other classmates.

I wanted him to trust me more, to willingly tell me whatever it was that was weighing heavily on his heart. And I did my best to find the answers, meeting him in the afternoons after school, hoping to show him that I was a reliable confidant. Yet, each subsequent day flew by with no promise of the conversation I desperately wanted.

And this afternoon, in particular, was proving to be no different.

“I’m a better choice than your neighbor, right?” Jisung asked as he drove us to my house.

I nodded as an acknowledgement, too tired to offer a coherent reply, a result of morning basketball workouts that drained my energy right along with regular classes. These days, Jisung had started taking me home from school as opposed to my neighbor. I was glad for the change, especially since it meant I could spend some time with Jisung. 

“Tired?” he asked and I offered a delicate yawn.

“Basketball is tiring,” I said, pulling myself away from the window to look at Jisung. “You seem tired too.”

“There’s a lot going on,” Jisung offered vaguely and I pursed my lips as I considered his vague response.

We were both quiet for the remainder of the drive, and Jisung pulled into my driveway with a loud sigh. “Let’s stay outside.”

“Okay,” I agreed, watching him carefully now because I could always tell when someone was feeling burdened by an unpleasant truth. Nonetheless, I took Jisung to the backyard where I stole some blankets from the basement and spread them out along the grass. Jisung sat down on top of the worn fabric, fingering the holes at the edges before reaching out to pluck a sunflower free from its stem. “You don’t seem as happy these days,” I remarked, studying the way Jisung’s fingers brushed across the delicate petals of the flower he held.

“What makes you say that?” he asked, face shadowed by the way the sun hits the side of his profile. 

“Nothing,” I said softly. “Do you want to do some work?”

“Will you help me with my essay?”

“Only if you promise me a massage because my shoulders are dying.”

“Deal,” Jisung agreed, managing a smile while he reached for his bag. Together, we worked diligently in the backyard as we attempted to conquer our matching piles of homework. Basketball was a recurring distraction, often forcing me to stay up late at night to complete assignments since I lost time during the day to work on essays about dead poets.

“You’re not as talkative,” I said, choosing my words carefully.

“It’s my mom,” Jisung said and I was surprised by his willing openness.

“And?”

Jisung picked another sunflower, holding it up to his eyes as he twirled the delicate stem between his elegant fingers. “She’s dying.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that and a painful silence fell between us.

November

Basketball tryouts were proving to be a substantial blow to my meager social life. I could barely find time to talk to Jisung, and I never forced him to wait for me in the afternoons anymore because tryouts could continue for hours. In the meantime, Changbin was more than willing to drive me home, especially since he liked to flaunt his shiny new license around school for everyone to notice. 

But I missed my drives with Jisung, and I missed the way he always seemed to make the days a little less stressful. I wanted to talk to him, and I knew my best opportunity would be this coming Friday because tryouts would end early and I could ask him to wait for me in the parking lot without feeling guilty. Of course, telling Changbin about my change in transportation was a dramatic affair. “Why not, Reynolds?” Changbin pouted, blocking me at my locker after our shared morning class despite my attempts to evade him.

“I have something else to do,” I said, wishing he could be more amiable for once and just let it go.

Graciously, the bell for classes proved to be a wonderful distraction and Changbin reluctantly allowed me to flee quietly to my Chemistry class without any more protest. For the remainder of the day, I could only focus on the clock, urging the stubborn minute hand to move faster. All I had to do was finish out tryouts successfully and I could finally have some time with Jisung. 

The afternoon bell rang loudly in my ears as I hurried to the locker room, changing into my practice clothes quickly. Of course, such rapid preparation wasn’t entirely necessary since I still had to make it through the last day of tryouts, but my mind was somewhere else. Even so, my impending meeting with Jisung didn’t inhibit me from doing my absolute best, breathing out heavily as I scrimmaged with my teammates, ignoring the watchful eyes of my coach as she studied our plays. 

By the end of practice, I was more than ready for the stress of tryouts to be over with because I was exhausted both mentally and physically. Thoughts of Jisung didn’t help, which had returned full force now that my attention wasn’t occupied by basketball. Instead, I impatiently tapped my foot against the court as I waited for coach to announce final cuts.

“Okay,” coach said, carefully posting the team roster to the board outside her office. “For those of you who made it, I’ll see you Monday afternoon.”

Normally, I was never one to rush to the front to see my name, but Jisung was waiting which meant my sharp elbows were now a weapon to help me fight to the roster. I breathed a silent sigh of relief when I found my name near the top, quickly shoving my way back through the crowd of my potential teammates. 

I practically sprinted to the parking lot, ignoring the ache in my thighs courtesy of detestable shooting drills. But I smiled through the pain when I saw Jisung already inside his car, eyes watching me carefully as I ran the rest of the way to where he was parked. “I’m guessing you made the team,” Jisung teased after I was settled inside.

“Oh, yeah...” I trailed off, finding myself unable to tell Jisung the real reason behind my enthusiasm.

Jisung smirked, switching on the ignition before carefully navigating us onto the main road. “You said you wanted to talk?”

I nodded, taking a deep breath to settle my nerves. “I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize?”

“For my reaction when you told me about your mom,” I said, shaking my head. “I didn’t really know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” Jisung said gently. “Most people don’t.”

“Is she okay right now?” I asked cautiously, keeping Jisung’s profile in my peripheral vision.

“You can come home with me,” Jisung suggested, eyes still trained forward. “To see my mom.”

I nodded without an ounce of hesitation. “Okay.”

I had never been to Jisung’s house before so my eyes were wide as I took in the simple one-story building, walking up the front porch steps to wait as Jisung wrestled his key in the lock. “She’s probably in her room,” Jisung told me, quietly leading me through the small living room and down a narrow hallway.

A door at the end was slightly ajar, and Jisung ushered me closer as he allowed me to walk inside first. “Hey, mom,” Jisung said, greeting the frail woman sitting up against a tall mountain of pillows. “Do you need anything?”

The woman shook her head, hollow eyes leaving Jisung to find me standing nervously in the doorway. “Who is this?”

Jisung smiled and encouraged me closer. “This is my friend.”

“What’s your name?” his mother asked, smile brighter than anything I had ever seen before. The only thing comparable would be Jisung himself who always proved to be an endless supply of the purest kind of light.

“Kayda,” I said, uncharacteristically shy.

“You’re beautiful,” she said, urging me closer while glancing over at Jisung who was now busy pouring water at the nightstand. “My son is very lucky.”

My cheeks heated as soon as I understood the implications of her observation. “Oh, I-”

“-Mom,” Jisung quietly interrupted, handing his mother one of the glasses. She accepted it gratefully, offering me a playful wink which only made my smile fall completely.

“I hate Mondays,” one of my new teammates muttered as she lounged on the bleachers with me after the conclusion of a brutal practice session.

“Tell me about,” I said, staring up at the ceiling. After meeting Jisung’s mom, I had returned home with a heavy heart, unable to find the courage to tell her that Jisung and I weren’t anything more than friends.

“Seo Changbin,” my teammate sighed and I instantly turned my head, watching the boy in question enter the gym with his friends. “Aren’t the two of you dating?”

“No,” I muttered out tersely, resuming my observation of the ceiling even though I could feel Changbin’s gaze from across the court.

And it was only a moment or two later when I heard his voice. “Reynolds,” he said, grinning down at me as he climbed the bleachers. My teammate let out a tired sigh, studying the two of us before allowing us the privacy that I didn’t really need. “Is this comfortable?” he asked, taking my teammate’s spot as he spread his 5’6’’ frame across the bleachers.

“It’s fine,” I said dismissively.

“I saw you guys practicing earlier,” Changbin said, never one to take a hint even if it was waiting right in front of him.

“Did you?”

“You looked good out there, Reynolds,” Changbin said, reaching up to tap his fingers on my thigh. “You’re faster than everyone else.”

“Gee, thanks,” I muttered, wondering if it would be too obvious if I sat up to leave...But that might be too abrupt.

“Are you sticking around for our practice?” he asked with a hopeful tone.

“I’m going home with my neighbor,” I said.

“You should stay one time,” Changbin continued. “I learned a lot about basketball just by watching games on TV with my dad.”

I frowned because I did the same thing. “Aren’t you supposed to be with your teammates?”

“Not yet,” Changbin said. “This is my special way of building anticipation.”

“Isn’t that too arrogant?”

“It’s called confidence,” Changbin said instead. “You’ll be leading your team too, especially if you keep improving.”

His comment was surprisingly touching.  “Is this what you tell all your friends?”

“Just the ones who deserve it,” Changbin said earnestly, allowing a relaxed sigh. “You know, Reynolds,” Changbin grinned. “I think you’re the best player on the Varsity team.”

His words were unexpected and I was caught off-guard by my own smile. “Why is that?”

“There doesn’t need to be a reason,” Changbin said. “I’ve watched you play before.”

“Is that so?”

“Of course,” Changbin said, turning his head slightly to meet my gaze. “But 

I think that some of your teammates are jealous.”

“I know they are.”

“If they give you any problems, you let me know,” he said, holding up his pinky for me which I allowed to wrap around my own, sealing his promise.

December

I found Jisung lingering outside my first-period classroom, arms folded over his chest as he leaned against the doorway. It was obvious that he was waiting for me, so I carefully made my way through the crowded hallways to anticipate his forthcoming dialogue. “Kayda,” he smirked, nodding his head in my direction. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“My neighbor was late this morning,” I said. “Something about an argument with her sister.”

“You won’t have to worry about that when you get your own license,” Jisung said, managing a ghost of his alluring smile. 

“I know,” I grumbled because my driving ineptitude was still a sore spot of conversation. “Did you need to talk?”

“I have something to ask you,” he agreed, demeanor shifting as he suddenly appeared a lot less eager than before. Uncertain. “It’s a lot to ask of you.”

I squinted my eyes, suddenly curious. “Well?”

“My mom has a lot of family in the mountains,” he said, eyes searching mine slowly. “But it’s been kinda hard this year to get together, especially since my mom’s diagnosis.”

“I’m sorry,” I murmured softly, to which he attempted to shrug indifferently, even if the emotion was evident in his expression. “We usually visit around Christmas.”

“You can’t go this year?” I guessed, trying to empathize with Jisung’s circumstances.

“That’s not it,” Jisung said, gazing at me entreatingly. “I want you to come with us.”

I paused at the request, trying to understand the implications. “Why?”

“You make things easier,” Jisung said and I softened immediately at his words.

“I’ll ask my parents,” I told him, suddenly feeling an intense desire to satisfy his request. “I’m sure they won’t mind.”

“Thank you, Kayda,” Jisung smiled and it was the type of all-encompassing sunshine that always managed to warm my heart.

Basketball practice was excruciatingly difficult that afternoon. Our coach was preparing for this weekend’s basketball tournament, an annual precursor to winter vacation that both students and players alike looked forward to with anticipation. Our school was always expected to perform at the highest level of athleticism, frequently moving through the tournament bracket to the final round of scheduled play. It was a cherished tradition that always managed to fuel my coach’s desire to include as many sprints in a single session as one could manage before players were forced to rush to the bathroom to lose whatever food was still in their stomachs.

“Nice job, ladies,” she nodded at the end of our time. “I want everyone at the gym early on Saturday.”

A dozen or so nods of agreement before we were officially dismissed. Which meant the boy’s team immediately started for their turn at the court, leaving a few of my fellow players flushed with nervous giggles. It also meant the arrival of Seo Changbin who never missed an opportunity to grace me with his presence. “Reynolds,” he said, panting a little from his brisk jog over. He had learned that I tried to leave practice early, stuffing my belongings into my gym bag in the hopes of escaping before he had a chance to utter a single consonant of my last name. “I’ve been trying to find you all day.”

“It can’t be that difficult,” I huffed. “You memorized my schedule.”

“But this is important,” he said while hurriedly shuffling through the small binder in his hands, finding the appropriate form. “I’m doing a co-ed basketball camp over break,” Changbin said, forcefully shoving the paper at me. “You could always come too, Reynolds.”

I smoothed out the crinkled sheet, reading across the invitation. “Where did you find this?”

“Coach showed it to me,” Changbin said. “But I thought of you.”

“How considerate,” I snickered before quickly remembering my promise to Jisung. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go.”

“Oh,” Changbin responded, face falling as he rocked back and forth in front of me. “That’s okay, Reynolds. I guess I’ll see you after break instead.”

I watched him carefully because I didn’t like the way my heart broke a little at his simple acquiescence.

Jisung came to pick me up early at my house on the morning of our scheduled trip to the mountains. My entire body was still sore, muscles screaming in agonizing protest as I forced myself to grab my bags and trudge down the hallway. My mom greeted me in the kitchen, handing me a couple of Ibuprofen which I gratefully accepted. 

I couldn’t remember the last time I had been in so much pain. And I didn’t know if it was entirely due to the demanding tournament in which my team had finished runner-up or the fact that Jisung was taking me to see his family like we were something more than friends. I mean, doesn’t it qualify as relationship-status when the attractive guy who frequently treated you to frozen milkshakes takes you home with him?

“You look nervous,” Jisung remarked, appearing entirely at ease behind the wheel of his car.

“Maybe a little,” I said in return, refusing to offer more details. 

“Why?” Jisung asked. “It’s just my family, Kayda. I promise we aren’t ruthless drug lords or something.”

“I’d hate to understand how your mind works,” I said, gazing out the window because the land had transformed around us, smooth plains turning into rising hills- a series of dips like a roller coaster. 

“You should know by now,” Jisung said, smirking. “I’m kinda weird.”

I scoffed at the comment. “I think your problem is the missing filter between your mouth and brain. Do you ever think about what you’re going to say?”

“No,” Jisung shrugged. “But sometimes you don’t either.”

“Really?” I immediately questioned. “This coming from the guy who swore that he saw a shark swim upstream in a freshwater river coming home from his last excursion to New York’s Comic-Con.”

“Point taken.” 

Message From Seo Changbin:

You know they make this thing called FaceTime, right? Anytime you want to see my pretty face, you know what to do.

Jisung’s family cabin was modest, but that didn’t take away from the beauty surrounding the two-story structure. The woods were gorgeous with the faint remnants of snow blanketing the ground, melting into cool rivulets that flowed steadily between makeshift canals. The sun filtered through the trees to throw an interesting contradiction of light and shadow over the empty foliage. 

“Well?” Jisung prodded, pulling me closer by my shoulder. His coat brushed against mine, rustling the fabric between us.

“It’s nice,” I said, studying the picturesque-sight while Jisung led me to the front porch, stomping his boots off on the crusty welcome mat faded and worn from years of use.

I swallowed hard when the door opened and an elderly woman stepped outside, letting out an impossible shriek as she went to collect Jisung’s puffy cheeks between wrinkled hands. “Jisungie! So handsome.”

“This is my aunt,” Jisung said, cautiously pulling back from the hands holding him hostage. “Merida, this is my friend, Kayda.”

“Hello,” I said, holding out a hand in greeting which apparently catalyzed an even stronger reaction from the woman whose arms constricted around my middle without so much as a warning.

Jisung was visibly embarrassed as he offered me an apologetic look. Meanwhile, I struggled to figure out what I needed to do with my hands as Merida commented on how long my hair was. “I used to have long hair,” she said, finally releasing me. “Yours is so beautiful!”

“Oh, thank you,” I managed, wincing when she let out another squeak, grabbing my hand because she desperately needed to introduce me. “Everyone! Come meet, Kayda!”

I struggled to locate Jisung while I was moved from person to person, matching names to the faces of various aunts and uncles, grandparents and grandchildren, and those rather annoying cousins who promised me that they were a lot better than Jisung. I frowned at their blatant rudeness but chose not to comment because I didn’t want to say more than necessary. Because this was Jisung’s family and, whatever our relationship now meant between us, I didn’t want to leave a poor impression.

Jisung’s mother found me last, situated in an upright position on a bed in one of the upstairs rooms. “Kayda,” she murmured softly, grabbing my hands between hers and ushering me onto the bed. “How was your trip? Do you like the cabin?”

“It’s lovely,” I told her, glancing up at the sound of a creaking board, relieved to see Jisung standing there watching the two of us. 

“We’re not old fashioned you know,” his mother continued, a conspiratorial smile on her face. “We can let you two share a room.”

“Mom,” Jisung whined, saving me from any further surprises by graciously excusing the two of us. “Sorry,” he whispered to me in the hallway. “They’re just really excited.”

“It’s okay,” I said, even though I did feel a little irritated that Jisung hadn’t bothered to prepare me more.

“We don’t have to share a bed or anything,” Jisung said. “I can sleep on the air mattress.”

“Thank you,” I said, glancing back at the closed door. “Do you want to see her alone?”

Jisung nodded. “You can stay in our room for now.”

I waited until Jisung had closed the door behind him before mustering up enough courage to ask one of his rude cousins to show me where I was staying.

Message to Han Jisung

Where are you?

Message from Han Jisung

Outside.

The leaves crunched loudly beneath my feet as I walked across the front lawn, searching for Jisung. His response to my message had been vague as if he really didn’t want to be found, but that only worried me for his well-being. The sun was setting low against the backdrop of the mountain peaks, breaking the rays of light in dramatic patterns. I inhaled the crisp, cold air with a satisfied sigh, stuffing my hands in my pockets to prevent my fingertips from growing numb. In actuality, I quite liked it up here, admiring the simplicity of the natural splendor. Maybe I could move to the mountains one day in the future, living in a cabin like Jisung’s because it was quite nice compared to the city.

I paused at the edge of a trail, squinting against the dying light. Even if my eyes were not made to accommodate easy viewing at night, I could still make out Jisung sitting at a wooden picnic table alone. I glanced back at the cabin, noting the light on over the porch before walking down the path, careful to mind the jutting rocks and arched roots rising from the ground.

“Jisung?” 

His voice was hoarse, tears still discernible even if everything else was losing focus. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have a reason to be.”

I climbed onto the bench next to him, leaving very little space between our bodies. Jisung sniffled as he leaned in closer to me, watching the sunset against the backdrop of the skeleton trees. 

“Is it your mom?”

“Yeah.”

I nodded because there wasn’t anything left to say.

Message from Seo Changbin:

We can still have conversations over break, you know?

Jisung and I eventually made our way back inside the cabin once the sun was completely gone, leaving the half-moon at its post. “You’re so cold,” Jisung said, curling his fingers through mine.

My limbs were stiff, joints aching as I followed Jisung back up the trail, drawn to the light of the cabin like a delicate moth. “Are you okay?” I asked, the question lingering between us while Jisung opened the door.

“I will be,” he whispered in return.

“I’m always here,” I told him, anxiously worried that Jisung might break down at any moment, and I didn’t think I could handle that. Because Jisung was sunshine, and I was the desperate tree growing at all sorts of angles just to feel his light.

Our room was relatively small and Jisung’s cousins had taken the air mattress earlier despite my condemnation. “We can share the bed,” I said, tone uncertain as I pulled back the sheets.

“Yeah?” Jisung said, watching me as I threw off my coat before making myself comfortable on the bed.

“Come on,” I ushered him, holding up the sheet and allowing Jisung to lie down next to me.

“Thank you, Kayda,” Jisung said, nose brushing mine from our close proximity. “You’ve done a lot for me.”

“Well, you had to suffer through my bad driving.”

Jisung chuckled and I savored the sound, the deep rumbling from his chest which was crowded against my hands. “You mean a lot to me.”

I froze next to him, eyes trying to make out his features in the dark room. But Jisung remained a mystery, an imperceivable canvas which was growing closer with every thunderous beat of my heart. His breath was warm, short pants from his mouth which cooled against mine. Jisung’s lips were incredibly soft, a stark contrast to the unwavering grip his fingers kept as they dug into my jaw to direct my movements. I trembled at the first touch, the smooth caress of his tongue against my bottom lip, a sensual question which I answered by parting my lips for him, allowing him access to the deepest parts of me that only his rays could touch. My eyes fluttered open, able to make out his own now that we were in such intimate proximity. Jisung’s gaze was filled with adoration and I could so easily lose myself in an earnest gaze, but that was impossible to do when all I could think about was Changbin.

January

Message from Seo Changbin:

You ignored me over break, Reynolds. Can you at least spare some time at school?

January was one of those impossible months to predict because it was either even colder than December or manageably warm which was still problematic since Climate Change was an ever-present threat. I woke up that morning and checked the temperate, deeming it to be somewhere in between those extremes. I had arrived home sometime over the weekend which meant my bags were still unpacked and I had no idea where my new gloves had disappeared.

I was running late for class when I finally arrived at school thanks to my mother who had the day off. I stopped by my locker to briefly exchange textbooks, erroneously almost leaving my homework stuffed into the bottom of my three-ring binder. “Reynolds.”

I groaned when I heard the familiar husk to his voice. “I’m late.”

“Is your phone not working?”

“It’s fine.”

“Well,” Changbin said, “if you had answered, then I wouldn’t need to here.” 

“You still don’t need to be here.”

“How was your break?” Changbin asked, refusing to acknowledge my comment while standing against the lockers next to mine.

“Cold,” I said, refusing to even acknowledge the issue of Han Jisung and the kiss we shared in his tiny cabin bedroom.

Changbin sighed wistfully. “I told you, Reynolds, you would have had a better time with me.”

I chose to scoff at his comment. “How would you know?”

“I’m insulted, Reynolds,” Changbin said, fanning his fingers out against his broad chest. “You would’ve loved the camp. The arena is really nice at Christmas.”

“Just as friends,” I said, watching Changbin from the corner of my eye. “You’re making this sound romantic, Changbin, considering the fact that we’re only friends.”

Changbin’s eyes dropped from mine. “I know that, Reynolds. You like to remind me every day.”

I slammed my locker closed, feeling something akin to guilt. “Sorry.”

“Did something happen, Reynolds?” he asked, peering up at me cautiously like he knew he was overstepping our boundaries.

“Nothing happened,” I said quickly, stepping around him because I suddenly really needed to go to class and Changbin was crowding me.

Avoiding Jisung was becoming something of a habit, peeking cautiously around corners, staggering into class at the last minute in case he might be waiting in the doorway. And I know it was terrible to ignore Jisung, but I still had no idea how I could possibly talk to him after the kiss. Coincidentally, it only drove me closer to Changbin who was perfectly willing to drive me home after school or invite me out on the weekends. I quickly came to the conclusion that I was using Changbin to fill the places in my life that Jisung had previously occupied, not that Changbin minded in the slightest.

“Your house?” I questioned into the phone, my hand pausing over the popcorn bowl waiting between my legs. Recently, I had started to accept his incoming phone calls and even dial his number a time or two because Changbin was actually quite useful when it came to Algebraic Equations.

“Why not?” Changbin returned. “I have a lot of cool games we could try.”

It sounded like it meant a lot more to him, but I didn’t bother looking past the surface. “Will there be food?”

“Is that a yes, Reynolds?”

“Changbin.”

“Whatever you want, Reynolds.”

“Are you picking me up?”

“Give me ten minutes.”

Changbin’s house was fresh out of the Notebook, an old-school antebellum mansion that probably cost more than the entire town. And because it was Changbin’s house, I got to hear a thorough backstory concerning its history, meaning Changbin’s great-great-grandfather or whatever had likely never anticipated someone like me stepping across the marble-tiled floors. “What do you think, Reynolds?” Changbin asked, looking at me like my answer might change his entire life which was ridiculous because Changbin had probably impressed plenty of people.

“I like it,” I said, perhaps making Changbin’s entire year if the impressive smile he wore was anything to go by.

“The game room is upstairs.”

And it took up an entire section of the house, resembling some kind of futuristic arcade where a quarter in the machine meant relaxing in fine luxury chairs while playing an unreleased version of Final Fantasy with an espresso in hand. “Want anything?” Changbin asked from the bar.

“Surprise me,” I said, running my fingers against the side of the air hockey table that was spotlessly clean. 

“What do you want to play?” Changbin asked, handing me a glass of water. A simple exchange that nonetheless meant a whole lot more to me than I thought. Suddenly, I was far too excited, surrounded by Changbin’s extravagant wealth. 

“Everything.”

February

When Jisung was absent from school for an entire week, I knew something was wrong. Yet, no matter how many messages I directed to his phone, a response notification never lit up my phone screen. Was it partially my fault? Since I had done a remarkable job of avoiding him for an entire month.

“Why do you look so down?” my teammate asked as we lounged together on the bleachers, a regular occurrence. 

“Jisung hasn’t been answering any of my messages.”

“I didn’t think you guys were friends anymore.”

“Oh,” I said, clearing my throat. “What made you think that?”

“Haven’t seen you together since Christmas break. Figured you probably came to your senses and started fucking Changbin.”

“I’m not dating Changbin,” I said, but there was a little less venom behind my usual conviction. “Jisung and I weren’t a couple anyway.”

“Well, maybe he has something else on his mind.”

“I guess.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, even if your little love triangle was super entertaining to watch.”

“There’s no love triangle.”

“Personally, I’m rooting for Changbin to win but a couple girls on the team are thinking that Jisung is the endgame for sure.”

Had my life really become so complicated?

February 14th was a rueful day and I despised the commercial aspect to a holiday that had no real purpose in existing. Nevertheless, I wasn’t entirely negative because starting tomorrow, Walmart’s candy would be on sale and I could buy enough to last me until Easter.

Of course, for a lot of other people, Valentine’s day meant a lot, especially those mushy couples who probably secretly loathed one another and the idea of parting with more than 20 bucks for flowers. Still, I guess there was some merit in showing affection for someone you cared about. Sadly, I didn’t really know what that meant since I never got the experience.

I arrived early to class, a change of pace which meant I was sitting alone at my usual table with Changbin. Perhaps he wouldn’t show up at all, deciding to stay at home simply because of a sudden whim’s notice. And that would be perfectly acceptable to me, but I could never get so lucky.

“Reynolds,” Changbin said, standing behind me at our table and I didn’t have the strength to push him away.

“What?”

“It’s Valentine’s day,” Changbin reminded me, gently depositing a single red rose in front of me.

The gesture was surprising and it elicited a strange reaction because I couldn’t stop myself from touching the smooth petals. “Really?”

“Let’s go for milkshakes after school.”

I smiled because I actually loved the idea and couldn’t believe Changbin wanted something so simplistic. I was half-expecting a giant display of balloons waiting for my outside or a banner draped across the front of the school with my name written in big bold letters. But I got nothing like that and it was incredibly touching. “Okay.”

Jisung came back the next week and I could no longer find it in me to avoid the inevitable. I cornered him after class one afternoon, clutching tightly to the straps of my book bag. “Jisung.”

He turned around with a start, eyes widening in obvious surprise to see me standing there. “Kayda?”

“You were gone last week,” I said, glancing up at him sheepishly. “Is your mom alright?”

Jisung sighed, shoulders falling as his entire body seemed to collapse under the weight of his burden. “We had a scare, but she’s back home now.”

“I’m glad,” I told him sincerely. “Neither of you deserve this.”

“It always happens to the best people,” Jisung said, somewhat bitterly as he closed his locker door.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you,” I said, flushing at the apology. “I didn’t know what to say after what happened before.”

“You mean the kiss?” Jisung guessed, eyeing me curiously. “Did I do something wrong?”

“It was unexpected,” I said. “Since we’re just friends.”

Jisung took a long time to respond and I grew more and more anxious as I waited for his response. “I understand.”

But his tone was cold.

March

Message from Seo Changbin:

Come over, Reynolds.

“You’re heavy,” I complained, pushing against his shoulder as he leaned more of his weight against mine.

Changbin laughed, seemingly amused at my struggles. “I like you though.”

I huffed loudly, allowing him to lay his head in my lap, gazing up at me with mischievous brown eyes. “Do you even want to watch the movie?”

“I’ve seen Fast and Furious,” Changbin said, eyeing the movie from the corner of his eye with disinterest. 

“Why did you recommend it, then?”

“Because you wanted to see it,” Changbin said. “But you can watch this in real life, anyway. I can take my car down to the track.”

“Good for you.”

Changbin smirked, tongue-in-cheek as he returned his attention to me. “Learned how to drive yet, Reynolds?”

I frowned. “No.”

“It’s not hard,” Changbin said. “Didn’t Han Jisung teach you?”

His tone was bitter. “He tried.”

“Probably not hard enough,” Changbin said, lifting himself up from my lap. “Do you want me to try?”

“I’m impossible.”

“Well,” Changbin grinned, “I kinda like a challenge.”

Changbin’s car was far too expensive for my inexperienced hands and I was shivering as I started the ignition. “Relax, Reynolds,” Changbin said from the passenger seat, appearing entirely at ease.

“What do I do?” I asked him in a panic, but Changbin merely reached down for the gear shift.

“Put it in drive.”

My fingers were shaking, tightening with a vice grip around the poor instrument. My foot was pressed down hard against the break, mind blanking the longer I questioned myself, especially with Changbin watching me. “I’m sorry,” I said, taking a deep breath as I pulled the gear shift back, letting off the brake to press down on the gas. 

The car immediately lurched backward and I panicked, applying even more pressure to the gas pedal before realizing I had put the car into reverse instead of drive. The resounding sound of the mailbox behind me snapping beneath the weight of Changbin’s fancy sports car was impossibly loud. I fought back tears as I apologized repeatedly, managing to put the car back into park as I studied the ruined mailbox in the side view mirror.

“So what, Reynolds?” Changbin shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the destruction.

I looked at him in disbelief. “You can’t seriously be okay with that?”

“It didn’t hurt anybody,” Changbin said. “If you start to worry about everything you do wrong, then it’s even harder.”

I held tightly to the steering wheel. “Should I try again?”

“Why not?” Changbin shrugged. “This is more fun than I was expecting.”

“Driving isn’t supposed to be fun,” I said. “It’s serious.”

“Kayda, you sound like one of those scary-ass educational videos they make us watch in Driver’s Ed.”

“And?”

“Try to enjoy it more,” Changbin said. “You don’t have to be so tense when  you’re driving.”

I let out a deep breath, my hand reaching back down for the gear shift. I relaxed a little when I felt Changbin’s hand on top of mine, guiding me through the movements as the car started to roll forward. “Is it too fast?” I asked, failing to keep the panic from my tone.

“You’re doing great, Reynolds,” Changbin said, leaning over to steady his other hand against my splayed out fingers on the wheel. “There’s nothing difficult about it.”

I was trembling now for a different reason, but Changbin didn’t need to know about that.

April

Jisung was ignoring me, which meant I had to ask Changbin to drive me to my scheduled test, anxiously fidgeting in his leather seat during the entire drive. I had no time to worry about Jisung, even though I was deeply hurt by his indifference. Instead, all I could think about was my driving test and how horrible it would be to fail the computer questions because they were probably the easiest part.

“You worry too much, Reynolds,” Changbin remarked, pulling into the parking lot of the DMV.

“I can’t help it,” I told him.

“If I can pass this, then you can,” Changbin said. “You’re way smarter than me.”

“I don’t think it has much to do with intelligence,” I said, rubbing my hands together as I carefully opened his car door. 

“Don’t think too hard then,” Changbin grinned, faintly protesting when I reached across the console to smack his arm.

“What’s wrong with you! I’m having a small panic attack.”

“Yeah? Should I take you to the hospital?”

“You’re just asking for it,” I snapped, huffing indignantly when he started laughing. A nasal affair that would normally make me cringe.

“Why?” Changbin asked. “You know what your problem is, Reynolds? You take everything too seriously. Just relax for once.”

“But what if I fail?” I whined miserably.

“Then you take it again,” Changbin said. “I promise I won’t hold it against you forever.”

“I really hate you right now.”

FLASH!

I blinked my eyes, trying to rid my vision of those annoying black spots courtesy of the camera flash. Meanwhile, the obviously indifferent clerk clicked away at his computer screen. “Congratulations,” he said, tone completely void of any life as he handed me a tiny square of plastic. 

I couldn’t find it in myself to be annoyed with the DMV employee. After all, I was 90% sure that such an attitude was written in their handbook. But it really didn’t matter because I was holding my permit and it wasn’t some sort of crazy dream I had last night.

“Thank you,” I told him sincerely, even if the sentiment obviously meant nothing to him as he called for the next person in line.

I mustered just enough patience to walk at a normal pace through the musty office building until I was outside, finding Changbin leaning against the side of his sports car, sunglasses covering his eyes. The sight of him, however, broke down every last bit of self-control I had previously tried to maintain. “I passed!” I squealed, holding up my limited learner's permit for his eyes to see, desperately wanting to show him.

Changbin smirked as he took the permit from me. “What did I tell you, Reynolds? It’s not that hard.”

“You helped me so much,” I said, overcome with emotion, looking at him and, for the first time in my life, seeing past the arrogance and wealth, sarcastic comments and designer clothes. “Thank you.”

Changbin nodded, rolling his shoulders back as he took another step closer. “I get an award, right?” 

I gave him a questioning look, rolling my eyes when his finger tapped against the side of his cheek. “You can’t be serious.”

“It’s not a big deal, Reynolds,” Changbin whined.

I could always blame it on my mood, optimism bright as I grabbed Changbin’s shoulders to hold myself steady as I pressed my lips to the spot he had indicated. “Happy?”

Changbin didn’t respond, considering me with an expression that held a thousand different possibilities. His fingers were cold as they curled around my neck, thumbs digging into the skin at the base of my jaw. But his lips were warm, tentatively testing mine as he kissed me for the second time, leaving me with nothing but thoughts of Seo Changbin as I tasted spearmint gum when his tongue muscled its way inside.

May

Summer vacation meant classes were more trivial than usual, suffering through mindless lectures that meant nothing now that exams are over. But the school board insisted we stay until June. “Jisung’s ignoring me,” I told Changbin at lunch, locating the boy in question eating alone across the cafeteria.

Perhaps in the past, I’d never openly tell Changbin about any of my worries, but I was comfortable with him now and we understood each other a lot more than we did in the past. And he knew how much Jisung meant to me, although in a much different way than what I shared with Changbin. “Give him time,” he said, one hand on the back of my neck, massaging circles into the skin.

I shifted closer to Changbin, unconsciously seeking his warmth. “He’s going through a hard time alone.”

“He’s got family,” Changbin reminded me, gently pushing my tray closer. “But you need to eat, Reynolds.”

“That’s disgusting,” Felix quipped, turning his nose up at the two of us like he was too cool for such displays.

“Don’t be jealous,” Jeongin said, giggling like he was enjoying teasing Felix.

“Is it official, then?” Minho asked, leaning across the table despite Hyunjin’s attempts to move him out of the way. 

“You don’t have to put titles to everything,” I told Minho.

“That’s just a bullshit excuse,” Minho argued, insistent as he eyed the two of us up and down. “Well?”

“We’re together,” Changbin said, hand settling over mine. “Will that satisfy you?”

“Very much,” Minho nodded, sitting back to whip out his phone. “The school’s gossip site needed some more drama.”

“There’s no drama,” I grumbled, glaring at Minho as he hurriedly typed away on his tiny phone keyboard.

“There always is,” Hyunjin said with a dramatic flourish of his hands. “Minho makes sure of it.”

“Stay out of my relationship,” Changbin warned Minho, even if the older boy appeared completely undeterred by Changbin’s threat.

Changbin was unusually quiet after school that day, clutching tightly to my hand as he walked us to his car. “You’re never like this,” I said, rolling my eyes playfully when he opened my door.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Changbin said. “This is how I always act.”

“Sure,” I said, waiting for him to start the car before continuing. “I think you have something to tell me.”

Changbin tensed at my words. “What makes you say that?”

“You’re too easy to read,” I teased him, laughing when he threw me an unimpressed look.

“Do you want some music as a distraction?” I said. “Fill up the awkward silence while you find the confidence to ask me what must be a very difficult question.”

“And you think I’m rude,” Changbin grunted, even as his hand quickly started to mess with the radio display.

I pulled my phone from my pocket, finding Jisung’s contact even if it was a futile affair to get any sort of response from him lately. His texts were few and far in between and he usually only answered if I asked about his mother. But I genuinely cared about his family because Jisung was important to me and I desperately wanted things to resume normally between us. I couldn’t help but think that my new relationship status with Changbin might have a lot to do with his silence.

“Should we just text each other?” I asked Changbin when we pulled up to my house.

He killed the engine without a word. “It’s nothing bad.”

“I figured that,” I said, turning around to face him. “You have my undivided attention.”

Another beat of silence passed between us and then...“I’ll be gone for the summer,” Changbin admitted, glancing up at me nervously. “And it might be too soon to ask this.”

“What do you mean?”

Changbin sighed, running his fingers through his black hair. “You could come with us, Reynolds. If you really wanted to.”

“On your vacation?”

“It’s more like a get-away,” Changbin grinned. “But you can think of it like that.”

I considered him carefully because I knew Changbin was always serious when it came to me. “You’re right, it might be too soon.”

Changbin sighed but didn’t appear too downtrodden. “It’s alright, Reynolds. We’ll go as slow as you want.”

“I’d like that,” I said, allowing him to lean across the middle to kiss me to his heart’s content.

June

Message to Han Jisung:

What happened?

[whichwaytowonderlandep]

Whatever It Takes | Ch. II

Pairings: (Hoseok/Reader) (Yoongi/Reader)

Genre: Romance, Angst

Words: 5,410

Tags: There’s no smut in this chapter, it’s basically a filler. Mentions of Violence, Introductions to new characters.

Chapter One | Chapter Two

Chapter Two

The sweaty and bloody man kept trying to crawl away from his assailant, but to no avail. Hoseok's steel-glazed eyes run over him, badly injured, coughing up blood, heavily breathing on the floor. The man in front of him was too badly injured and heavily breathing on the floor – blood being coughed out of his lungs.  Hoseok tilts his head to the side, putting the lit cigarette to his lips as he took another long drag. He had a headache from listening to the man in front of him scream for mercy as Namjoon made the man in the floor beg for his life.

He lets out the smoke from his lungs, throwing the half gone cigarette to the ground before stepping on it with his eight hundred dollar designer shoes. He takes slow deliberate steps, the sound of his shoes echoing in the empty cement room in one of the many buildings that he owned.

"Please!"  the man groaned as Namjoon's shoe connected with his back, putting more pressure on the poor man's upper spine – making him lay flat on the ground as Hoseok stood in front of him. A smirk adorning his devilish face. He takes his hands out of his expensive Armani suit, kneeling down in front of the man with a smirk on his face. He tilts his head to the side as he tries to get a better look at the sweaty man’s face. “Where’s my fucking money?” He calmly asks again, the killer look in his eyes never wavering.

"I'll tell you everything I know, I'll — I will pay you back. I just need more time!"  he said with a groan as Namjoon puts even more pressure on his body.  Hoseok smile watches away, a bored expression now adorning his face as he stands up once again. His foot stepping on the man’s left hand – the sound of cracking filling the room.

They all make promises they can't keep when they're in a life or death situation. He never understood why people thought he would go to the worst case scenario, sure he’d tough them up a little but he would never kill someone who owed him money. Then he would never get his money back.

If only they could cooperate from the very beginning, they could've avoided so much pain and suffering and he could’ve avoided getting blood all over his shoes.

Namjoon watches with a stoic face as the man starts squirming from under his leather boot, trying to make one last escape even though his body couldn’t go any further. Namjoon had malice in his eyes, he wanted to finish the job he was given and as a man who loves his job, every mission that he is given he carries it out, without any problems. But on special cases like these, Hoseok took extra care of their guests – meaning some of them would get to live another day.

"What makes you think I want to know now?"  Hoseok said to the man as he stood up from the metal desk he was once leaning against.  Walking towards the injured man, before squatting down in front of him, tilting his head sideways as a smirk started to spread across his face.  "You've had plenty of time and yet you kept taking resources and money” Clicking his tongue, he continued, "and yet, you still haven't given anything back. You were just wasting my time and my money.”

"Now what do you think the others will think of me if I can't even control little weasels like you?"  He said as he rubbed at his chin, chuckling to himself. His hand grabbing onto the bloodied man’s hair before pulling it to look up at him. His nose was gushing and his left eye was swollen shut – Namjoon really didn’t hold back.

Hoseok looks up at Namjoon, a serious expression now replacing the relaxed and happy one, "Hold his hand steady" Hoseok’s deep voice sending chills down the man’s spine.

The man beneath him screams as Namjoon steps away from him and kneels down beside him before pulling his hand forward. Namjoon had placed his other foot on his wrist, crushing it down and keeping it from moving even an inch out of place. "Some people might call what you did to me, stealing.”

Hoseok smirks, a sense of power running through his veins as he sees the man before him tremble in fear – muttering and begging for another chance. "Do you know what we do to thieves around here?"

He doesn’t wait for an answer; he didn’t need one as he nods his head to Namjoon, walking over to the metal desk he was leaning against before pulling out the ringing phone from  the pocket of his jacket.

Hoseok was never that ruthless growing up, he didn’t find any joy or excitement in torturing other people. He wasn’t disgusted by it either, he just found that being seen as a hard tempered asshole who didn’t give a lot of second chances, works in this kind of business. So, he stuck with it – much to other people’s dismay.

Namjoon chuckles playfully like a kid on Christmas morning as he pulls out a pocket knife from his bag on the floor.  He steps on the man’s hand, crushing it under his boot as he tries to hold the squirming hand steady.

Hoseok walks over to the door, no longer interested in the current situation as he heard the man’s last attempt at saving his fingers. "No! No! Wait, I'll get you your mon-” Hoseok looks at the name flashing on the screen as he heard a blood curdling scream behind him.

Hoseok walks out of the warehouse, a look of disinterest on his face as he presses his finger to the answer button. “Talk fast” he said as he looked around the dark and empty alley. "I'm busy.”

Club One was one of the hottest clubs in the city. It was highly exclusive for the rich and famous and they had a tendency of only allowing certain people in. Every night the line would go around the corner – filled with hopefuls of twenty-one year old women and men  hoping to gain access inside for just a few minutes.

The lines seem to start as early as four in the afternoon, people always with the hopes of actually getting to go inside and to meet the famous VIPs of the night. It was safe to say not many got to enjoy it. The club itself was a pool for rich, famous people – actors, singers, and the like would visit the club often. It was also most drugs and weapons deals would come to life.

It’s a cesspool of ‘classy’ one night stands, prostitutes and copious amounts of drugs. Not that it could ever be proved by the police or any federal agencies, which was the only reason the club was even still running.

Hoseok steps out of the shiny black Mercedes, his leather coat hugging his frame tightly as he makes his way past the line of people waiting to get in. He continues to walk past the guard, who upon laying eyes on the man removed the rope from the middle of the door in a quick motion. “Evening, Sir.” The bouncer at the door greets him with a bow.

Hoseok doesn’t waste time or breath on him as he continues to make his way into the club — his club.

His shoes echoing across the long hallway as the muffled music becomes louder and much more clearer. He steps out onto the dance floor— into the club filled with colorful lights and sweaty bodies grinding on top of each other as they move to the beat of the music.

Hoseok doesn’t stay long, making his way towards the VIP Section of the club, where he knew most of his men were waiting for his arrival. He walks into the room, heading straight for the make-shift bar on the other side of the room, pouring himself three fingers of whiskey before throwing his very expensive jacket on the back of the chair at his desk.

“Glad you all could make it” his gruff voice, taking a long sip of the drink in his hand. His hard eyes move across the room, taking in the three people he trusted the most with his life. “Report”

With that one word, Park Jimin straightens up his back as he clears his throat. He sits on the edge of the sofa, Hoseok’s eyes instantly meeting his second in command. “Two first-class shipments are arriving this week, by boat.”

“From who this time?” Hoseok sits on the edge of his desk, putting down the now empty glass beside him. “Some kid named Taehyung, word on the street is… he can get you pretty much anything you want and in the time that you need it. Seokjin recommended him.”

Seokjin’s eyes snap away from the window at the mention of his name— his mind finally entering into the conversation. He looks towards his boss, gulping as all eyes are on him. “Where did you find him?”

“Hasn’t been on the street that long, but he made quite a name for himself in the last two months.” Seokjin’s voice fills the silence as he walks towards one of the many couches in the room before taking a seat. “He is discreet in what he does, I’ll vouch for him.”

Kim Seokjin was the go-to man for everything. He knew who was who, where to be at the right time —he had connections everywhere, which was one of the main reasons Hoseok has welcomed him with open arms. A great weapon to have in his arsenal.

“If you say he’s as good as you say he is, then I’ll take your word for it. Just make sure none of it traces back to me or the club.” Hoseok says, a warning tone in his voice. “If he gets caught -“

“I know, I’ll handle it. Your name will never come up.” Seokjin interrupts him, tilting his glass towards the man in charge before throwing it all back. The hard drink bringing nothing but a burning sensation in his chest as he feels himself getting sleepier.

“What else?” Hoseok moves the subject on, wanting nothing more than to get this meeting over and done with. He wanted to go downstairs, dance a little bit, definitely drink a lot and find some piece of ass to take home tonight.

“There’s a new invitation to the Giraldi Charity Gala, could mean new business and a way to make you stand out more” Seokjin mentions, knowing how important it was for them to be welcomed into society.

“Add it to the calendar” Hoseok repeats in a bored tone, throwing his head bad against the chair as he puts his feet up on the wooden table in front of him. His expensive and shiny shoes scuff at the wood as he pulls out another cigarette.

“Is there anything interesting and exciting happening?” He asks into the room for anyone to answer. He was becoming bored with the day to day life he had. He definitely thought this would all be a little more exciting. Maybe he was just expecting it all to be more easy when he decided to veer down this road.

Hoseok was a boy filled with ambition and dreams of becoming someone in life, he just took that as a ‘any means necessary’ kind of way.

“Did I forget to mention the VIP for the night?” Seokjin smirks, remembering what had caught all of his attention by the window right before the meeting. As the events coordinator in Hoseok’s life he had to know who was who and who would make a good partner in the business.

Seokjin was definitely not expecting the daughter of one of the most elusive and well known men in the business to be shaking her ass in the middle of his boss’s club.

“Who is it this time?” Hoseok inquires with a bored tone. “Some politicians kid sniffing drugs off one of the stripper’s bodies again? Let me guess, another drunk guy partying a little too much?”

“(Y/N) Ucello.” Seokjin drops the name with a knowing smile painted on his face, “Saul Ucello’s daughter, is shaking her barely covered ass in the middle of your dance floor as we speak” he smirks as he noticed the younger man’s eyes pop open at the mention of your very familiar name. He had heard stories of your father— stories that would instill fear in anybody who heard them, but not to Hoseok. But no, Hoseok looked up at the man as if he were a hero.

Saul Ucello was the reason he was even in this business, he had never seen the man — but that still didn’t mean he didn’t think of this man as a role model.

“You’re kidding!” Hoseok yells as he stands up like an excited child on Christmas morning, almost tripping over his feet as he quickly sprints to the window. He had seen some photos of you before— an idea of what you looked like in real life and almost always candid pictures taken by random people hired by other companies. He mostly knew of you, but just like your father, you were a ghost in this side of the business.

Not a lot of people could get close enough to you. It was like a once in a lifetime opportunity was happening right before his eyes.

You had taken it upon yourself to stake out the man of the hour on your own. You hadn’t known if Hoseok was going to be showing up tonight, but after following him around the past week you wanted to at least have some fun in the process. Your hips continue to move to the beat as you feel strings of hair sticking to your neck.

You were a sweaty mess and you were having too much fun to really care. Your life had mostly consisted of all work and no play — you should be able to let lose at least once in a while.

You breathe out a heavy sigh as you take this chance between songs to move towards the crowded bar. The cool black surface feeling good under your forearms as you lean on top of the counter — waving your hand around as you try to flag down one of the bartenders on the other end of the busy bar.

“You have better luck jumping over the bar and getting the drink yourself.” A deep voice startles you as hot breath hits the back of your neck. You quickly turn around to see none other than the Jung Hoseok — purple silk shirt slightly unbuttoned and his sleeves rolled up to his forearms as he reaches behind you. His body pressed softly against yours as his hand grasps the neck of one of the bottles left on the table, along with two glasses. He pours into one of them before sliding it across to you.

“Wouldn’t you get into trouble for that?” You smirk, grabbing onto the glass as you tilt its contents only to see whiskey shining back at you. “This is what someone would consider stealing, you know.” you decide to play along, smirking at the way he shrugs his shoulders in a nonchalant manner and pours into his own glass.

“I know the owner.” He replied nonchalantly, leaning in closer to you as he gives you a once over. Hoseok himself couldn’t believe that he was standing in front of royalty — the princess of the mafia in flesh and blood. He used to have thoughts about who you were in real life, what you look like and he was not disappointed.

“Now what is a girl like you doing here?” He asks, wondering where your usual bodyguards were hiding. Hoseok knew of your father and the way he raised his children, the way he managed to manipulate every single person around him and how he has committed every crime imaginable only to get away with it— the man was the king of crime and yet, nobody had ever met Saul Ucello in the flesh and lived to tell about it.

“And what, pray tell, do you mean by that?” You tilt your head to the side, glaring slightly at him.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong! I don’t mean anything by it” Hoseok quickly retracts himself, “I was just wondering what a girl with such powerful connections is doing out alone without any protection. Anyone could take advantage of that.” Hoseok jeers.

“You mean someone like you, Hoseok?” Your hand grips the drink in your hand — you have yet to take a sip as you lean your back against the bar. You and Hoseok hold eye contact, his side smirk widening as he realizes that you know exactly who he is. He couldn’t be happier.

“Why? Maybe I want to be taken advantage of.” You give him the once over, knowing that you wouldn’t have to pretend a lot with a man like him. Extensive stakeouts, following this man around for a week, watching him every minute like a hawk— you’d think you know what kind of girl he would like, seeing as he brought home a different one almost every week.

Something told you that under that bad boy exterior had to be a baby boy screaming to get out. Or he could switch into a dangerous and sexy dom. You were more than willing to find out.

“But I don’t think it’s you that I want.” You decided to play the ‘hard to get’ card, sure Yoongi wouldn’t like the approach because it would take more time, but you ran point on this case — Yoongi could suck it (or you, later.)

You watch as something flashes across his eyes before he his slamming his glass down, liquid sloshing  onto the black shiny counter. You don’t move an inch as he gets slightly closer to your face— you could feel his hot breath on your cheek, stinking of nothing but alcohol. “Careful. We wouldn’t want to cause a scene, would we?” You say, stopping him in his tracks.

You knew that you were playing with red hot fire — Hoseok was a very temperamental man, he didn’t like being told no and he certainly switched between aggressive and bright smiles very often. Very much like a very powerful child.

“You, Miss Ucello, have just started a very dangerous game. I don’t get denied what I want often.” Hoseok avows, eyebrows raising up in confusion as he only watches you scoff as you start to walk away. The urge to grab at your arm flows through him and leaves just as quickly, before frowning in your direction as he watches you walk away — eyes heavily trained on your ass as he watches you disappear into the crowd. Hoseok looks back up at the window to his office watching as the other guys lean against it, smiling at having seen the events that had just transpired. “Shut up” He mouths in their direction, grabbing onto the neck of the bottle he left on the counter before making his way towards the VIP area.

You were sitting on the sofa at the safe house, watching as Jungkook ran around setting up the computers and surveillance system. He kept mumbling to himself as he plugs in random cables — it was kind of adorable. You watched on as he scrambled here and there, connecting and booting up systems.

The cushion beside you dips as Taehyung takes a sit on it, having decided to eat your lunch at the safe house rather than at a crowded restaurant.  You watch as he picks up some fries from the table before shoving them in his mouth. His eyes following Jungkook’s every movement as he continues to run around like a headless chicken.

It was certainly more entertaining than anything that was on the television at the moment.

Jungkook might be excellent at his job, but whenever you went undercover as a team, he would always end up freaking out. He was a perfectionist. Everything needed to be laid out perfectly, nothing was to be out of place and he wasn’t going to rest until everything was exactly the way he wanted.

It wasn't a completely bad thing either, at least it helped with not getting killed in the heat of the moment. He always knew exactly what to do in a mission, behind the scenes that is and yet, he never really had enough confidence to go on one. You were sure that if he wanted to, he would excel in completing one without a hitch.

The best thing about your team was how each one was chosen for a specific reason — the adrenaline junkies like Taehyung and you were the ones on the field and the ones who liked living safely and 'not dying' — as Jungkook liked to describe it, stayed behind desks making sure that the field agents didn't die. It was a nice arrangement in the group and none of you had any complains about it.

"You know I could've finished a whole lot faster if I didn't have to lug all of this equipment up three flights of stairs all by myself" Jungkook huffed as he stood in front of the two of you, breathing heavily as he held a monitor in his hands. He glared as the two of you continued munching on your food, looking up at him with innocent eyes.

"Nah, you're good” You say, taking another bite of you cheeseburger.

"You're doing great, buddy!"  Taehyung said as he threw a thumbs up his way. You watch as Jungkook rolls his eyes, walking back into the kitchen, placing the last monitor on the kitchen table. Probably cursing the both of you under his breath as his stomach grumbles at the thought of sitting down and eating what you had brought him.

"How long do you think it'll be before he keels over?" Taehyung ponders under his breath, taking a sip of his soda as he motions with his head to the sweaty and out of breath boy.

"I give him five minutes, tops" you reply, shoving another fry in your mouth.

"Really?" You watch as Taehyung tilts his head sideways. "It looks like his ready to pass out.”

You chuckle as you watch Jungkook put a hand to his side as he takes another deep breath. Maybe this was of the reasons Jungkook preferred surveillance over field work. That and the inability to maintain a conversation with a girl if she’s too close.

You look back at Taehyung, watching as he leaned back after placing his trash back into the paper bag. Rubbing his hand on his full stomach as he lazily eyes his surroundings.

It's been a month and a half since Taehyung had been off the radar. No contact with the outside world or to the agency for that matter; you’ve missed him, to say the least. He was more than likely being tested by Jung’s men. Even then, Taehyung acted as if he didn’t have a care in the world — as if he wasn’t really at risk of being gunned down in an empty warehouse.

Taehyung's first task had been completed during his month of absence. He was their new and improved delivery boy.

Jungkook on the other hand had been working on hacking into their security system — which also came with Hoseok’s social schedule. You could be aware of every and any even he would be attending for the next couple of months, mostly galas and charity events that would make him and his company look good.

You have made it your task to memorize such events, not really knowing when to insert yourself into his life. You stood up from the couch, letting out a deep breath as you made your way towards a sitting Jungkook.

You lean over his shoulder, not ignoring how the younger boy's breath hitch at how close you were standing. "How long will this take exactly?" you say, smirking as your breath hit his neck — watching goosebumps form on his arm.

"Uh, J-just a few s-seconds." Jungkook stutters slightly taking a deep breath, feeling himself tense as he noticed how close you were.

Taehyung stood up behind the both of you, arms crossed and chuckling to himself as he watches the younger boy become uncomfortable. He knew Jungkook was good with computers and making guy friends, but when it came to girls, he would either freeze up or run away. He just needed a little push. Not that you minded helping him out with any of that.

You smirk, leaning back as you stand next to your partner. You watch as Taehyung leans towards you, "How long are you going to keep torturing the poor boy?" he whispers.

"Until it stops being funny” You say as you watch Jungkook type away faster with you no longer anywhere near him.

"You are a horrible woman" Taehyung said as he looked at you up and down.

“That’s the sweetest thing you have ever said to me" You say as you hold your hand to your heart. "Thank you" you blink innocently at him.

"I'm in” You both turn to Jungkook in a flash — looking towards the once black monitors, now showing the long corridors and grand luxury on every corner that was known as the Jung Manor.

"So far we know that Hoseok hosts a charity event every year." Taehyung says, "Mostly uses this kind of events as covers for trades, to trafficking all kinds of things, you name it and he's done it."

"One of the many reasons he hasn't been caught yet” You say, "He's basically an outstanding member of society. Reminds me of a couple of people I used to know.”

"It's probably the best cover he could have, too.” Jungkook says, fascinated by the man. "He usually doesn't get involved in anything. Unless, it's a direct threat to his organization.”

"Even then, he always brings someone to do the dirty work instead. He has the money to do so." Taehyung says as he shrugs, hand moving to pick up the phone as it vibrates against the wooden table.

You watch as Taehyung checks his phone, taking a deep breath. "Seokjin texted, they want to move the meeting tonight.”

"You should probably get there as soon as possible then" Jungkook advises, “take the jacket on the sofa, the necklace in the front pocket has a tracking microchip in it. Just in case."

Taehyung nods, putting on the leather jacket, taking out the necklace as he walks past you. He shoves his new phone into his pocket.  He ruffles Jungkook’s hair like a big brother would— earning a shout of complaint from the younger, while throwing you a large smile your way as he walks out the front door.

It had been a few hours since Taehyung had left. He was now a blip on Jungkook’s computer being monitored by him.

You had retired back into the small living room, a laptop on top of your crossed legs as you continue on with your research. It was already well past two in the morning as you yawn and lazily click onto the next article about Jung Hoseok and his little corporation.

You tiredly glance over at Jungkook, watching as his wide eyes never leave the screen — continuing to take another gulp of his fourth energy drink. You should’ve told him to stop after his first one and force him to take a long ass nap. “You okay, Kookie?” Your voice rings out into the quiet room, startling the young man.

“Hm, oh yeah.. yup! I’m good!” Jungkook replies before turning back to the computer in front of him. You smile as you see him bite at his nails, making a note of yourself to hide his energy drinks before you leave.

The two of you jump as the sound of the front door being slammed open scares the two of you. It doesn’t take long until your picking up your gun and pointing it at the struggling intruder in front of you. You watch as he drops the bags in his hands, pulling off his hoodie as making you let out a deep breath and dropping your hand to your sides as you. “What the hell are you doing here?” You bark at him as you place your gun on the coffee table in front of you.

“I thought you guys could use some food” Yoongi defends himself, closing the door behind him as he picked up the bags he dropped earlier and moving them to the kitchen counter.

“Aren’t you supposed to be running an agency?” You ask, eyebrows furrowing as you watch the man in front of you. “As in, not here?”

“I thought you guys could use the help, and this is a high profile case. I need to be in the know 24/7” Yoongi shrugs throwing jungkook a snack from where he was standing. The younger morsa thanks in his direction before focusing back into his computer.

“We could call you with the updates.”

“No need, the assistant chief is in charge as of today and I am here until this case is over. Get used to it.”

The tone of his voice leaves no room for questions as he continues to unpack the bags in front of you. “Why don’t you get some sleep, you’re going in tomorrow.”

You don’t say anything else as you move to shut your laptop. You grab your things as you head into the bedroom, dropping into one of the cots that had been recently set up. You grit your teeth as you listen to their conversation, knowing damn well that Yoongi was here for one reason only.

“You must be Taehyung” Jimin’s voice rings put into the empty warehouse. His eyes look at the man in front of him with wariness as the other stands in the middle with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. He wasn’t one to meet with people he had no connections too, but the man came highly recommended. “Good to know you’re punctual” He says more to himself than anything else, moving to stand in front of him.

Taehyung looks at the small, familiar man, taking a deep breath in. He did not want to be awake at three in the morning, especially when it was starting to get colder outside.

“Yeah…” he slowly eyes the duffel bag in the man’s hands. “Jimin?” Taehyung’s eyes move to the men standing behind Jimin, “and friends.”

“They’re just here to do the heavy lifting, don’t mind them.” Jimin assures him, only making the younger man before him even more weary. “Well they weren’t exactly part of the deal”

“They are now” Jimin insists, rolling his eyes as the man before him glares. “Where’s my shit?”

“Where’s my money?” Taehyung smirks, feeling the other man getting more and more annoyed. He watches as Jimin’s jaw tightens, eyes rolling as motions for on of the man in the back to come forward. Taehyung warily looks at him before a bag is being thrown in his direction. It stops a few feet away from his boot covered feet.

“You can count it if you like, it’s all there. The Boss always keeps his word” Jimin reassured him, scratching at his chin as he looks around the warehouse. “Now, where’s my shit?”

Taehyung takes a lone key out of his pocket before throwing it in Jimin’s direction, watching as the other man catches it with ease. “Container 256” He says, grabbing the bag on the floor. He quickly checks its content, making sure it was all there before he swings the bag over his shoulder. “Pleasure doing business with ya” He adds, saluting Jimin as he backs out of the warehouse.

“My shit better be there, or I’m hunting you down!” Jimin yells one last time, watching the figure retreat into darkness. He throws the keys to one of the men closest to him, gesturing for him to go find said containers.

<< Chapter One | Chapter Three (Coming Soon)

[walkswithdave]

Past Employers - An Honest Résumé

1978: Co-Opportunity Market, Santa Monica: To be a member of this co-op you had to pay a membership fee or work a certain number of hours a month. For a while, when I was around 10, I would ride the bus or skateboard to the market after school and work either in the back, packaging product, or at the register ringing people up. It was fun to work in the back because you could munch on whatever you were packaging: fill the plastic bag, put it in the heat sealer press thing to seal up, weigh and label, repeat. At the register it was all manual entry - no scanner. I was really fast. I can’t picture a 10 year old ringing up groceries today - and that’s one of the weird things about my childhood and why I miss the 70s.

1981: Paper route, Athens, Ohio: I was going to middle school and living with my dad in Ohio. I really wanted an Atari and spent the summer delivering the Athens Messenger to raise the $138 needed to get one (and Pitfall).

1986: Interaction Publishers, Inc. (Interact), Lakeside, California: I worked for Paul DeKock and David Yount, my high school American Studies teachers, at their small educational publishing company. This is when I first used a Mac and a mouse. I had an Apple II at the time, and the graphic interface of this Mac seemed silly to me. I mean - a little picture of a trashcan you use to delete something? I half-expected a little garbage truck to drive across the screen and empty the trash into it every time you clicked Empty. Lots of photocopying, collating, shipping.

1987: The Sizzler, Near Lakeside, California: Senior year in high school I worked at the Sizzler as the “salad bar attendant” to save the money to get the fuck out of Lakeside, California.

Summer, 1987: Critiques Choice, Stone Harbor, New Jersey: The summer after high school I lived in this small Southern New Jersey beach town, away from parents for the first time, working in a little tourist gift shop. These were amazing times.

1987 or ‘88?: University of Santa Cruz A/V Department: I used to hang out with Ty at his A/V gigs at UCSC, in the projection booth. After a time he helped me to get a job doing the same.

Summer, 1988: Sheraton Hotel, Station Square, Pittsburgh: Busboy

Summer 1989: Upper Crust Pizza, Santa Cruz: Cashier. This place was right down the street from the where I was staying with McKenzie and Aaron.

1990: Pizza My Heart, Santa Cruz: After being politely asked to leave UCSC because apparently you really need to attend classes, I worked here taking pizza and movie orders (they delivered pizza and VHS tapes).

1993: La Mistral Restaurant, Fort Lauderdale, Florida: Waiter

1993: Image Devices, Miami: Drove an old Volvo station wagon with no air conditioning around Miami delivering film and video equipment for a crazy guy named David Haylock. Got to go to Caracas for a day.

1994: Five Star Productions, Boca Raton, Florida: My first “real” job after graduating from Ohio University. I worked in the tape room of this half-a-scam production company, the first of a few of this type South Florida seems to specialize in. Had some trouble with Scott Wooley, douchebag owner. Fired.

1995: Teleview Racing Patrol, Calder, Gulfstream Park and Hialeah Park race tracks, Florida: First job editing and doing camerawork. Had lots of keys, owned the place. When I said I was quitting I was brought into the trailer at the Hialeah headquarters where the very Italian guy said I was being “disloyal.”

1996: Adcraft Productions, Palm Beach Gardens, Florida: Did camera work and editing for this company that specialized in sports programming. Got the first apartment of my own across from the beach on Singer Island. Good times.

1997: Powertrax Studios, Zimmerman and Partners Advertising, Fort Lauderdale: When Adcraft refused to raise my salary to $35,000 I went to Powertrax, where they doubled what I was making. I moved south to a little cottage behind a house right off the main avenue in Delray Beach.

1999: NiteLite Video, Pompano, Florida: After a couple years making horrendous car commercials at Zimmerman I went to NiteLite. I worked there about three months when:

1999: Powertrax Studios, Zimmerman and Partners Advertising: Zimmerman got the Nissan account and hired me back at, again, twice my salary. Now I was making really good money to do shitty commercials.

2001: Court of Two Sisters, New Orleans: I was politely asked to leave Powertrax and I went on an epic road trip, ending with a job in New Orleans as a waiter.

2001: A seafood restaurant in New Orleans: Left Court of Two Sisters to work at a Bourbon Street restaurant. Was there for Mardi Gras. This was insane.

2002: 24 Hour bar, New Orleans: bar tender, 5am - 2pm

2002: RHINO Gallery, New Orleans: I worked in this little gallery/gift shop on Royal Street and had a darkroom at my place down the street above the Golden Lantern bar.

2002: CBS Affiliate, New Orleans: Did some camera and editing here.

2002: Buy Buy Bux Sailboat: Sailed with Aaron around the Virgin Islands for a few months

Summer, 2002(3?): Watership Inn, Provincetown, Massachusetts: Worked at the Inn doing Inn things (an entire book here)

Winter, 2003: Fairbanks Inn, Provincetown, Massachusetts: Worked at the Inn doing Inn things

Summer 2004: Carpe Diem Inn, Provincetown, Massachusetts: Worked at the Inn doing Inn things

Fall 2004: White Wind Inn, Provincetown, Massachusetts: Worked at the Inn doing Inn things

Winter 2004: MG Leather, Provincetown: Sold t-shirts and sex toys

2005: CustomPlay, Delray Beach, Florida: Back in Florida just in time for Hurricane Wilma. Got a job at this ridiculous place re-editing and censoring movies for Max Abecassis, another insane Florida business owner. We had an argument about how to make a one hour version of Million Dollar Baby. Fired.

2006: The SCORE Group, Doral, Florida: Edited bad pornography. I moved to Hollywood, Florida to be closer to this job. I told my mom she could finally say her son was living in Hollywood and working in the film industry.

2008: Canvas Films, Fort Lauderdale: Another typical Florida production company, edited things like Hair Club for Men infomercials

2011: Multi Image Group, Boca Raton: I was sick of dealing with Anthony Foy, another insane Florida business owner (who once threatened me with a serving spoon). This is when I moved to the little place at the beach in Lauderdale by the Sea. I was back in a tape room situation at MIG and once again not making much money.

2011: Ed Ethridge Productions: I worked with a guy named Ed at Teleview back in 1995, and when we needed a second editor in 2000 at Zimmerman I recommended him. When I left Zimmerman he took over my job. After years there he started his own production company. In 2011 he hired me to help him make car commercials at a substantially higher salary than I was making at Multi Image Group. I had some concerns about working with him. There were some problems.

2012: US Media Television: Another Florida scam production company run by Paul Scott, Doug Scott, or whatever name he is going by now.

2013: Institute for Individual Investors (IFII), an Agora Publishing company, Delray: Editor, another Florida scam company

2015: Focal Point Productions, Jacksonville: Editor

2017-Present: Various nonsense

[daisymondays]

Hey gracie, I'm the anon who u recently dragged into the stucky fandom with your fic, chapter 8 was so great, I don't want it to be over but at the same time I neeed it to be resolved and them in love 😁😁😁 could u maybe recommend me some of your favourite stucky fics plsssss I am now desperate ❤️

Hi babe! Could you recommend some good stucky fics??? I’ve read yours and absolutely love them!!!! Karma’s a fake orgasm was EVERYTHING I never knew I needed!!!

Hi Nonnies, I am extremely sorry about how long I’ve taken to actually answer this but hopefully the rec list will be worth it!! a friend of mine actually recently asked for fic recs so i was kind of kicked into creating this list – this also means it comes with recommendations from a couple of mates who also like stucky, one of which actually recced me some of these fics when i got into the pairing so without further ado !!!

Set in the Canon Verse Fics

Not Easily Conquered Series

In 1945, Steve Rogers jumps from a nosediving plane and swims through miles of Arctic Ocean to a frozen shore.

In 1947, Steve Rogers marries Peggy Carter.

In 1966, the New York Times finds the lost letters of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

side-note: okay this one isn’t technically canon seeing as it’s Steve didn’t die at the end of Cap1 series, but its pretty close to canon so i’m keeping it in this category

Accidentally On Purpose

‘Bucky turns toward him, sliding his hand onto Steve’s hip as he mutters a lazy “G’night” and presses a soft kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. It takes him by surprise, and he barely has time to register Bucky’s half-closed eyes and the warmth of whiskey-ripe breath on his lips, before it’s over.’

After Bucky drunkenly kisses Steve by accident, it just seems to keep on happening, until it’s not so much by accident anymore.

Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen

Bucky Barnes and the Great Sexuality Crisis of 1938.

Body Studies 

Bucky wants Steve to draw him. Bucky’s bored enough to model, and that’s – that’s –

“That’s – a fun idea,” Steve supplies, fingers tight around his pencil. “I mean, we could try that if you wanted to.” Is his palm sweating on the pencil? “It’d be pretty boring for you, though, I guess.”

no heart to recall

He’s been in Steve Rogers’s company for less than twenty-four hours and he’s already losing sight of his mission.

This, You Protect Series

The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

One Day We Won’t Have to Be Scared

Steve and Bucky are at a gay bar in the 30s, and some guy offers them money to take pictures of them as they fuck. They need the money, they say yes, and pretty much forget about it afterwards. The pictures come out years later.

Painted In Indigo

‘“You should be careful of that one,” Mr. Hendrickson says, with a nod to Bucky outside the window. “It ain’t right. Looking at you all the time as he does. The way he should be looking at girls.”

Steve laughs, because damn, but what a ridiculous idea.’

Or, five times Steve caught Bucky looking at him, and the one time he looked first.

Shrunky/Shrinky-Clinks Fics

This means either Cap!Steve with Modern Bucky, or Beefy Bucky with Pre-Serum Steve (i’m a bit fuzzy on the exact Shrinky-Clinks definition)

We Could be Heroes (Me and You)

When the Asset drags himself out of the Potomac River after the battle of the Triskelion, something has changed.There is a presence inside his head that wasn’t there before; one that speaks directly to his most primal instincts, and it speaks only of one thing:To run. Run now, run fast, and to never, ever stop.And so, the Asset does.A story of recovery, of facing one’s inner demons, and learning to accept the harsh truths of life. Of love, and the many different shapes it can take. The value of choice and free will, and how someone who doesn’t believe themselves worthy of being saved can end up being someone else’s hero.

The Voyager

On the day aliens fall to earth through a hole ripped in the sky, Bucky Barnes is pulled from the rubble of the Battle of New York by a mysterious man wearing a costume and a cowl.

The next day, he wakes up in the hospital and makes a new friend named Steve Rogers - a certified weirdo with a deck of cards and plenty of time on his hands.

A postcard, a text, and a thousand miles of asphalt later, Bucky’s still trying to understand the man who came from the stars.

Steve, meanwhile, is finally putting the journey ahead of the destination.

Sorry, Not Sorry

All Steve Rogers ever wanted was to do what’s right. So when he drops in to volunteer at the Brooklyn VA Outpatient Center, he’s surprised to learn some veterans actually resent Captain America and everything he represents. One veteran in particular is determined to make sure Steve understands just how much he dislikes him.

Stop interrupting my grinding series

“I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?”

“Someone who’s watching you live on TV,” Bucky tells him as the tiny patriotic figure on the screen takes the turns like he instructed. Bucky should probably be a lot more freaked out about this, but honestly? After a tour in the Middle East and six years as a nurse in New York, even this isn’t enough to ruffle him. One sees a lot of shit in the ER. “Also, you better hang up now, that thing is behind the next bend.”

“Uh, okay,” Captain America says. “Thanks?”

“Whatever,” Bucky says, disconnects the call and turns the TV off to get ready for his shift.

AU Fics

War, Children

After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.

These streets Series

The life and times of Police Officer Steve Rogers and his dealings with the not so classy residents of his local precinct, including Bucky Barnes, the rough muscle with the dreamy blue eyes.

Proprietary Information Series

Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy’s gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he’s so far out of Bucky’s league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.

To Be Vulnerable Is Needed Most Of All

Steve is a shy comic book artist and meets his new neighbour, Bucky Barnes.

In which there are awkward longings, meddling best friends, comic conventions, heartache, lemons, video games, dorkiness, dancing and two cute boys.

The Daily Rogers

College AU. May contain exchange students, a Starbucks addiction, daddy issues, anger issues, closets and how to get out of them, the ever-ominous influence of social networks, various levels of betrayal, awfully poor life choices, but also, ultimately, real chunks of love.

we are the things we do for fun series

Going to a professional Dom may be one of the weirdest things Bucky’s ever done. Especially since this skinny Steve Rogers guy doesn’t really look the part.

But hey, they might just find a way to make this work.

Additional Steve/Peggy/Bucky fic because it’s mildly life changing

Better Than To Bend

In which Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes is tired, hungry and completely failing at not sticking it in the crazy. Also there’s a war going on or something.

aka world war threesome. Fear these queers.

Side-note: there is steve/bucky sequel that is amazing too and can (probably) be read as a stand alone

So, here you go Nonnies, sorry for the delay but i hope this makes up for it!! overall, really these are my bookmarked fics so check out my bookmarks for a couple more you might enjoy, otherwise i’ve found so many quality stucky fics by just going on the AO3 Bucky/Steve tag and then sorting by kudos, there’s such a range of humour, feels, angst and fluff !!! also most of these authors i’d also just rec every fic they write, so check them out!!

hope you enjoy and if you have any more questions i promise to try answer in a more timely fashion xoxo

[leggigoesabroad]

we were staying in paris to get away from our parents

Lyric from “Paris” by the Chainsmokers.  We (Rach and I) used to love the Chainsmokers until we found out they were trash humans who cheated on their girlfriends with no remorse, and instead we’ve followed the ex-girlfriends loyally since the breakups.  Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARY!! It’s 11:23 am here in Paris on Cinco de Mayberger and I wish I was in Philly holding that muffin and celebrating our girl, but hopefully I can be soon.  

I really shouldn’t be blogging right now because I’m sitting in a super cool cafe that is meant for working and co-working and I’m paying to be here, so I shouldn’t waste my paid time on blogging... but hey, I’m waiting for my Adderall to kick in and also I think this is the coolest concept ever.  It’s a super cozy space and you pay for the length of time you’re here.  It’s a little expensive but I have no sense of responsibility anymore.  It’s 5 euro an hour and that gets you access to the wifi, convenient plugs everywhere, and an all-inclusive self-serve tea and coffee bar.  I think it’s kind of genius!!  There’s snacks, bread, nutella, all kinds of tea, coffee, etc.  Takes away all the stress of posting up at a coffee shop for hours and wondering how much you need to buy to make yourself feel okay about using their space all day.  Kitty and I are personally very passionate about rental businesses/unlimited concepts like this, and I’m making a mental note to tell her about this so we can open one at home.  There’s a chance Americans wouldn’t go for it, but I think at the right price it’d be dope.  Of course, it basically reminds me of a bottomless brunch, and I’m pre-panicked I won’t get my money’s worth.  What if we served mimosas at our place, Kitty?!  Interesting.  I wish it wasn’t 3:30 am in Breck right now so we could discuss this.  

Last I left off I was on the train to Paris.  Vienna and Prague genuinely feel like years ago.  Such a weird trip, start to finish.  Not the kind I’d design on my own, but not NOT... just odd to be here mostly alone without a plan and kind of figuring it out as I go.  Not my style.  I got into Gare de L’est in Paris and figured out the Metro to Angie and Adam’s place around 7 pm.  Their 7-month-old is very French and goes to bed around 9:30 pm, so we bonded right away and she instantly took to me.  They tell me she’s mostly like that with all strangers, but I feel I’m special to her.  She cries when I leave the room!!  I had to sneak out to the cafe this morning because she was bawling when I went to my room after saying good morning to her.  Sweet angel.  Her name is “Thea” but they exclusively call her “Doodle” and it reminds me of our muff.  We ended up just hanging out all night on their couch and catching up, and then they got some pizzas and pasta from the place across the street for dinner and I ate All Of It.  The French don’t fuck around with their food (she says, shoving a shortbread cake coated in Nutella in her mouth between keystrokes.)  Had a bottle of wine and we stayed up until 1 am or so, just so lovely.

I woke up Saturday morning and braved what was admittedly freezing rain to walk to the local bakery Angie suggested.  Since they live right next to the Luxembourg Gardens I also popped in there, as it reminds me of the photo Amy and I took sitting on the fountain mirroring each other, back in January 2011.  I captioned it “The City of Love and Weight Gain” and steel trap Amanda remembered that ever since and recently posted a pic with the same caption, smh, she’s incredible.  Learned on this morning walk that my right black boot had worn through the sole, so my foot got soaked and I felt that “squidge squidge” with each step... so fun.  Went to the bakery and had a panic attack leading up to the order as I rehearsed what I was going to say in my head a million times over.  Eventually spit out “Je voudrais... trois croissants....deux pain au chocolat... et un baguette....s’il vois plait....” and to the girl’s credit, she didn’t immediately transfer to English upon hearing how painfully transparently American I sounded, and gave me the total in French!  I obviously had blacked out and couldn’t hear her, but the total was displayed on the cash register, so I paid and survived.

After lazing around a bit the rest of the morning, we all packed up and went across town to a Scottish bar that was playing the Tottenham game that Adam was interested in.  I love sports so I was happy to go, but man, soccer is dumb.  At one point one guy got a red card for lightly shoving a player after the play, and I almost burst out laughing at how that move disqualified him from that game and the next game, whereas in hockey that’s literally encouraged and we tally how many hits per game a player has.  Our friend Aaron came to join us!!  So good to see him, I think the last time I saw him was December 2016 right after I had moved to Denver and he was passing through town.  I remember specifically because I showed him my apartment, that first one in Uptown next to Kitty, and it was completely empty.  Back when I glamped all day.  He’s near fluent in French now and I find it attractive.  

We all went to an ex-pat bar after that and met up with Adam’s English co-worker and her friend who I found enchanting.  They’re both from Brighton and were just lovely, interesting, funny women.  We talked a little bit about the differences between England vs. the States and they said, “one thing we’ve always wanted to know - why do you have those huge gaps in the doors between your public bathrooms? You can practically see inside!” I said “I honestly have no idea and we all hate it too.  Ask me something else I can answer!!!”  We drank there for a while until Angie took Thea home because she was starting to get a little under the weather and fussy, and Aaron had a weird reaction to his IPA and immediately lost his voice.  Adam went home to Angie, and Angie’s niece who had just come in asked if I wanted to get dinner.  To be honest, I did not want to get dinner.  She is a little odd for a 30-year-old female and I didn’t have any idea what we were going to talk about.  Spoiler: I was correct.  She’s the kind of person who just won’t respond if she isn’t interested in what you have to say.  So we’d be walking along chatting, and I’d say something, and she’d just be silent.  Laaa dee daaa... she also lived in Versailles in college and is also fluent in French, and knew her way around very well, so I unintentionally just felt dumb and patronized.  We stopped at a place she wanted to go to for “authentic French cuisine”, blech, and I just got an omelette.  The menu was all in French and luckily I mostly knew what I was reading, but she didn’t even lightly offer to translate. Ha.  She eventually got more approachable and bubbly when we started talking about dating and her boyfriend and the online dating scene.  After dinner, to her credit, she thanked me for agreeing to dinner with her and humoring me on the choice of restaurant and walking together.  So maybe she’s just one of those people who doesn’t emote well but is kind and appreciative on the inside.  Walked home and went to sleep, again in silence.

Woke up intermittently and kept checking the Phillies’ score in the middle of the night, only to see a very sad ending... sigh.  At least Rhys and Bryce looked hot AF.  Angie and Adam are Nats fans but admittedly love both Rhys and Bryce.  I showed Adam the press conference of Bryce thanking Ned as a part of his signing, and Adam was THOROUGHLY impressed, so that made it all worth it.

Going to stay at this cafe for several hours and try to give Angie and Adam some space, as Angie thinks she and Thea are getting sick and I don’t want to impose more than I already have.  I may walk to the 6th later to visit the Hotel Raphael, Hotel Majestic, and the Peninsula; as ER has places in each of them and it would be amazing to see them firsthand.  Usually people on-site are very kind to me when I just pop in and say I work for ER, because it’s in their best interest to show me good service so I highly recommend them to my members.  Maybe I’ll splurge and have a cocktail or a short massage at the world-famous Peninsula hotel!!  TBD, the day is young.  For now, hopefully I accomplish my freelance work so I’m not a miserable jet-lagged shrew next week.  Wish me luck!!