#i do not have anyone in my draft i can see winning 😭 ok that’s not true actually i have one that could win i forgot i have 5

[lesbianlenas]

we did a draft for bb for the first time in my house & the way my draft team is def the worst now 😭 my dad didn’t even pick his team he just got whoever my mom & i didn’t want & his team is better than mine……bleak 😔

[quigzahhutt]

elms sargebon anon back again ❤️ shdjeks i feel so shy bc i DO have tumblr, but i wouldn't even be able to message you but i have like 2% of a draft i'm dying to share... do you have twitter perhaps 😭😭 (so sorry again)

btw i'm obsessed with your response... alex kissing logan in a bout of like. sleep and delirium. doing it so thoughtlessly bcs he's dreamed of it for so long it's almost real to him.. logan waking up, panicked, so worried it'll ruin his next stint. cannot afford to fail. he's reinvented himself here, clawed his way from the dumps where f1 and williams discarded him and built himself anew, misplaced anger at alex because he makes him feel like that 22 year old kid again, losing and losing. crawls into the car with vengeance: he has to prove himself. it doesn't matter what alex does to him, what alex feels, what he feels. he needs to win. and then: rain. starts struggling on the straight, no visibility. discussion on the radio: maybe we should put alex in. his time is better on the rain. porsche is catching up. and logan knows they're right and that's what does him in at the end: it's always alex, on top of that wall looming in front of him, he's so good, better than anyone knows, better than his car is capable of, better than his results show. he tells the pit wall he'll box for driver change. there's no time when they swap at all, it's that godless hour where everything seems dark and hopeless, and logan catches alex's eyes and it's not the right time, god, alex must have a thousand things he wants to say too -- he bonks their helmets together, a quick, fleeting moment, and tells alex, "win this. win this for me and i'll let you kiss me when we're both awake." AND ALEX ALBON HAS THE BEST CAREER DRIVE OF HIS LIFE. 😭😭

happy holidays to you, thanks for indulging me in this ❤️❤️

AHHH ANON ITS OK ❤️❤️ im kind of enjoying this little back and forth its very enjoyable. HOWEVER. i do have twitter (same @ as here! I'm not very active at all tho be warned) and I'd love to help u brainstorm or whatever u need for this story bcuz I LOVE it

but anyways. oh my gosh. Logan waking up and feeling happy and pleasant because Alex is in his arms, but he quickly realizes, fuck, this was really stupid. Alex kissed him, and it felt nice, amazing, even, but it was so fucking stupid because now Logan won't stop thinking about it. about the fact that they've never talked this out. that he doesn't know what Alex wants from him anymore. about how Alex makes Logan feel like a hazard

but then Logan gets himself up anyway, and Alex groans in his arms, and Logan ignores it. ignores that he can feel Alex's eyes on his back as he gets dressed. ignores how Alex says something to him. he can't be distracted by Alex, not when he has so much to prove out there. which is funny, because Logan has proven himself– he clawed his way tooth and nail back up to the top step, more than once proving that he was more than F1, more than Williams. more than the liability everyone said he was

and the car is good. really good. Jamie left it in a good spot, and for a long second, Logan doesn't remember what he was so nervous about. why he felt like someone had poured lava down his throat, or stuck a firework in his ribcage. he just has to drive, do the thing he's been doing for over fifteen years, the thing he's proven time and time again that he is worthy of

and then almost an hour in, the radio fizzles to life. and then Logan sees the rain on his windshield. and his stomach drops. fuck. a million different thoughts flood Logan's brain in a nanosecond, and he can physically feel the neurons firing down different paths in his brain, remembering the data and the team meetings and the rain protocols

and by the time his engineer comes on radio to tell him to pit and swap with Alex, Logan has already come to that conclusion hours ago. that no matter what he does, Alex will always be right around the corner. Logan will never be the first choice. and the thoughts are poison, and Logan knows that none of it is true, and that it's all just because Alex had a better time in the wet during qualifying, and the team is just looking out for the best result. it still stings

but Logan swallows his pride, and his last few laps he does before pitting feel like an eternity; the unsatisfying conclusion to an equally unsatisfying movie, one with a horrible ending that has you walking out feeling worse than you did when you arrived. but at least the car is in one piece. Logan didn't fuck it all up

and suddenly he feels 22 years old again, a rookie sat next to one of the most formidable drivers on the field, stuck in one of the shittiest cars and a team that was hardly holding itself together, and nobody could have prepared him for what he was about to go through over the next year and a half. except Alex, who tried to make Logan feel like an equal, despite what everyone said

despite how everyone pit them against each other, pointed and laughed at the qualifying differences, or how Alex has never once been challenged by a teammate at Williams, that Logan was never deserving of F1. Alex still tried to drown out all that noise, even though he was practically the one killing Logan's career

it's an odd sourness that Logan finds in his mouth. he feels like he should be upset, because Alex really was here, once again stealing one of Logan's opportunities. but its unfair to think that way. Alex has tried just as hard as Logan has to get to where they are. and Alex has proved himself time and time again, just the same way that Logan has

they're mirror images of each other. and when Logan climbs out of the car to swap, he and Alex make eye contact through their visors, and in that one moment, Logan realizes that Alex is probably thinking the same way he is right now. there's never been a moment where they haven't been on the same page

and it feels like time has stopped as they stand here, rain pitter-pattering in the pit box, and on their helmets, and soaking into the collars of their race suits. and the moment only seems to unfreeze once Alex bumps their heads together, helmets making a tinny sound at the contact. and Logan can see Alex's smile through the visor, eyes folding into a soft crescent

and the gesture feels like it means nothing and everything all at once. and it makes Logan laugh, because he's felt that way for years, always second guessing whether something has meaning or not, because his entire career has been chalk full of people being double sided and saying things that they don't actually mean. but with Alex it's easy to believe

[elytrafemme]

good evening my beloved mare :D today i bring you your daily Horse Picture... lore for this one is this pony's name is kally. and i love her :3 (...and i most definitely didn't choose my name when i was coming up with it at the ripe age of 12 or something after her ahah whattt... noooo... what kind of idiot would do that ahahh)

WHAT IS UP WITH YOU TODAY THOUGH :D!! are you able to say anymore about your article writing :O??

HI CALLI!!!

oh my god kally the horse the absolute adored. honestly i love the fact that you drew inspiration from her name to name yourself that's SO CUTE. i absolutely love her thank you so much for the horse pictures u have made me like 100x more fond of horses than i was before

NOTHING TOO BIG! struggling to figure out how to count writing in my paid hours when i keep getting fucking distracted by going on tumblr and also neglecting my hw but ! it's ok we win these :D

"are you able to say anymore" call it's more like you don't WANT me to say anymore 😭im not joking there r a few things i can talk about forever and one of them is my student advocacy work (even though it could technically identify me so i have to be careful with it)

i work in a student advocacy organization! and by work i mean that the first two years it was ENTIRELY volunteer, and now it's mostly volunteer still but i get compensated! or, that is to say, i should get compensated. i am extremely extremely bad at remembering to do invoices but thank god the budget student director and the adult ally who also handles that stuff might open up office hours for it

but basically i've worked on our editorial board for a while and this year became a co-editor in chief (along with two other editors in chief!) my specific role is to do external outreach and collaboration-- i am supposed to be responsible for getting pieces cross posted, handling the backends of workshops and fellowships, etc. i kind of suck at my job rn but i'm TRYINNNG (if ur wondering one of the other editors in chief does the general work and is like our point person and the other handles the logistics!)

the piece i'm working on right now is among many in my drafts and it's about how the school system, especially in surveys and standardized testing, incorporate middle eastern and north african into the "white" ethnicity category and also the general problems and transphobia that come with questions about legal sex and gender on these same demographics! as u all know probably i'm Iraqi and also non-binary and though Middle Eastern individuals could be considered an overrepresented minority (North African people absolutely are not and face SO much discrimination and systematic racism in school systems so them being included as white is fucking perplexing to me) there's still a lot of inequities faced ESPECIALLY since i'm extremely non-white passing and i've never been mistaken as white though i HAVE been mistaken as being part of other ethnic groups aside from Middle Eastern (by this usually i mean Latine but i've heard some other strange things over the years. and also learned that not a lot of people know what iraq is. L.)

it's kind of an endless problem and i know how the backend of creating surveys (for another part of the team) and whatnot works and exactly what they're (hopefully) TRYING to get at in terms of equity but it definitely falls flat and it's an issue that i take nationally not just within the state. i think current plan is cross post this and see if i can reach out somewhere nationally to get it posted along with on our organization's editorial board

(didn't touch on the whole gender part because i can but it's a very long tangent so i don't know if anyone else aside from me would want to hear it DFJHDJFH also i hope i phrased all this correctly! i can obviously only speak from my experience as a middle eastern nonbinary (cis-passing) individual.

also when i say i am mistaken for other ethnicities that does NOT mean that i experience the same discrimination as them at ALL. i only note this in this context because it's an indicator of why i take issue in questions that are possibly meant to challenge systematic inequities including me in an ethnic group that i have 0 relation to when i'm hardly even mistaken as them)

anyway i lost track of what i was saying but YEAH. this article is gonna take so much fucking research but honestly i've gotten a lot written already so i'm excited! also trying the APA format on it and i kind of dig it

my student advocacy work is a Big big deal to me and i ramble about it lots so if you ever want to chat with me about it i can (GIVEN i can't hit on many aspects of it! if you ask me about legislature one i only really have what's centric to my state rn which i'm not exposing on main here any more than i already have and also i tried to work on the legislative side for about a week and it didn't end well)

[ please don't RB this ask just because paranoid about advocacy section HAHA love u all and ty for the ask calli :DDD ]