#i do not envy the judges it’s going to be a tough competition

[p21blackandgold]

tda vegas top 3/4 predictions:

(there is so so so much talent competing and i am rooting for all the dancers, this is just for fun)

Mini: Lucia, Kennedy, Savannah, Belle

could also see in the top 3/4: Stella, Tatum

Junior: Aria, Skylar, Kelsie

could also see in the top 3/4: Finley, Emily P

Teen: Kylie, Taylor, Sav, Claire

could also see in the top 3/4: Lilly A

Senior: Hailey, Izzy H, Isabella L, Keira

[bogusavathepit]

Why Leah Clearwater has some Feminist Appeal. At Least Until it Gets Better in the Series. If it Ever Will. (Unlikely)

This may not be a battle or a competition, but with people praising Rosalie Hale (including yours truly), I think Leah should also get a lot of consideration.

In other words, some of why many people like her above all other characters.

(Even though her and the other native women’s portrayals in the story [books and movies] are also problematic in themselves. Link HERE about why.)

My enthusiasm will make this post a lot less formal in tone and less intellectual than my usual posts. I don’t really apologize.

Before the Cullens came back, it seems everything was going well for Leah. She was deeply in love with Sam Uley, her relationship with Emily was close, she has a strong sense of community and a lot more support than some white Twilight characters, her dad wasn’t dead, and it seems like she was eager to start college. Normal, everyday, but fulfilling things.

But the Cullens do come back.

The Cullens

Look, I love vampires and have read Twilight a bunch of times with affection, but this was a shitty thing to do to the entire reservation. Leah in particular has it really tough:

Leah loses the love of her life to a compulsory shapeshifter/werewolf phenomenon.

She loses her best friend, Emily, when envy and resentment and guilt enters the chat.

She has to keep a secret from her other friends and not hang out with them anymore, like how Sam, Paul, and Jared did; thus losing her previous, unmentioned social group.

She becomes the least liked member of her new group, just like Rosalie with the Cullens, she refuses to hide how unhappy she is.

College seems a postponed dream; the thing she could’ve used to escape but now can’t.

College has turned into  an escape plan from when it was something to look forward to as the beginning of a new part of her life.... 

There’s a suggestion in the fandoms that her dad may have died from cardiac arrest when either she or Seth transformed for the first time. If this is canon, then if the Cullens didn’t come back they wouldn’t have transformed.

As a werewolf, she’s the only female onw and her menstrual cycle has stopped. (Does this mean she can’t even have kids even if she chose to have them? Who knows, she feels like a freak now.)

None of this was done with her approval or will. 

She has no reason to like the Cullens and a lot of reasons to want them to not exist, particularly when they chose to come back despite the wishes of the indigenous people who know of them. Plus, for Leah and the rest of the pack members, you could say things would be a lot easier if the Cullens were just human-killing monsters who didn’t also have a deal with them. They and Leah wouldn’t have to tolerate their proximity, which triggers the werewolf numbers and transformations. 

Leah’s still grappling with how to accept the fact that Sam is gone forever. Then she hears that Bella not only doesn’t hate or dislike them--she wants to become one of them?! She thinks she loves one of those monsters?! She thinks they’re good?!!!! (What I imagine Leah is thinking/feeling.)

So she also dislikes Bella, who seems to accept or not see the danger & injustice that is the Cullen family by wanting to be one of them, or never truly sits down in a kiki with Leah to discuss the hows and whys. 

I too wanted like to be a creature like a Twilight vampire for the strength and speed alone. I don’t/didn’t even need the beauty part. Also, I wouldn’t drink humans even if I killed several by accident as a newborn because I simply don’t have to have blood on my hands if I don’t need to. 

But Leah isn’t a monster for not liking Bella b/c of reasons already stated. She’s allowed to acknowledge her own hurt and anger.

We can’t judge a person’s morality or value by how much they annoy or discomfort us. 

Not only does it make no logical sense, because it makes no sense and people do it anyways, it is selfish and cruel. 

How are you going to determine a person’s morality of all things on how much you feel about them, especially before/without getting to know them? (Unless they are doing extreme and glaring acts, like rape. Fuck rapists.)

All an answer and reference to some people saying they don’t like Leah just because she didn’t like Bella and the vampires and treating them “unfairly” by actively avoiding them or openly glaring at them.

Vampires have historically fucked her tribe and have personally fucked her life up. They are the enemy to her and a danger to the people she loves. 

I bet that many people would feel the same without having to be a Quileute if Twilight vampires suddenly existed. 

So to Leah, Bella looks like a traitor of humanity and a supporting agent for the hurt in Leah’s life. 

And Bella’s rejection hurts Jacob.

Which goes into what else I like about canon Leah. She shows empathy when it was so easy for her not to. She is able to develop the capacity to see others’ perspective and make a genuine connection between herself and others. 

Jacob

She sees how Jacob suffers from the rejection of someone who he’s very much in love with and can’t help comparing it to her own plight with Sam. And more importantly, she frankly tells Jacob about it with little shame or in defiance of judgement. This also allows her to very bravely confront Bella alone in a house of vampires whose venom can poison her with one bite and who don’t regard her very highly. 

Jacob didn’t regard her very highly either, because she didn’t try to hide her pain. 

But she did that anyway, for him.

Emily

It’s clear that though things are tense between them, Leah still wants a relationship with her cousin, even though things will never be the same. 

Does Leah envy Emily and still wish (subconciously) that Emily and Sam break up at some point before she decides to consciously move on? Possibly/probably.  

Did she probably think that Emily “stole” Sam in an errant thought? Maybe. There is no evidence of either. 

But again we have to remember she was in love with Sam and didn’t become a werewolf until much later, maybe in the events between New Moon and Eclipse, so she was literally in the dark of why Sam abandoned her.

For her freaking cousin of all people.

She went to a wedding that, by all rights, could have been hers! But she went anyways to support her cousin and unconsciously try to move on in doing so.

Sam and Emily

For as far as we know, Leah continued to be in love with Sam well into Breaking Dawn. But, she decides it’s best to save everyone the trouble and run to Jacob’s new pack. 

Was it self motivated/oriented and a way for her to get away from pain? Yes. Was it also a way to keep some sort of peace without ruining relations more? Also yes. She still cares about Sam and Emily, and realizes that this is best for everyone. It isn’t a selfish act at all but a brave and selfless one.

Maybe everyone else (Sam, Emily, etc.) will come to realize it, maybe they won’t. Doesn’t change that the situation wasn’t getting any better, but even worse. Even Jacob comes to realize this. 

And two things can be and often are true at the same time. (It’s called a paradox.) You can look out for yourself as you also try to remedy a situation you and others are involved in, especially when the situation came about because of conflicts between the involved parties. 

You have to look out for yourself--you’re the key and the element, so to speak. What else would happen? How else?

If not a Queen, what else?

Rosalie

 Leah is more appealing to me in a lot of ways because I can easily relate to her experiences as a POC woman. That doesn’t mean I can’t relate to Rosalie at all.

Leah is different from Rosalie more due to their very different backgrounds but their priorities are very much the same: self, family and loved ones. They both work on achieving some sort of balance between all three, but Leah is a bit more self sacrificing or readily empathetic.

A) Now it’s no secret that Leah hates vampires. Yet, when she hears that Rosalie would not be that against Bella’s death so she can get Renesmee to herself, what does she do?

She takes the time to understand without demonizing Rosalie’s lack of (as the Victorians and the Enlightened call it) “womanly” compassion for Bella. Or really prioritization of Bella’s life.

She sees, with her own presumed infertility, that she and Rosalie have something in common and is able to reason and see the parallels between the two of them.

Part of this could also be argued that because Leah’s not a changeless vampire and has the ability to at least have biological changes. Even if her fertility status is questionable, Leah still has the chance that she’d be able to give birth since Meyer’s whacky lore allows for a lot of stuff don’t don’t make biological sense.

Leah’s the very first woman werewolf after all. Who knows what she’s capable of? Leah herself doesn’t really know yet.

However, if we argue this we’re ignoring how we got to the place where we’re relying on fertility to justify Leah’s suffering.

Meyer makes both women being fertile as the only means of autonomy/value that has been denied them by outside forces and events.

Both are reportedly gorgeous women. Both have had their lives ripped away from them by events totally out of their control.

B) Even with others pressuring Leah or rebuking her for feeling the way she does, she continues to both feel for others without unconsciously agreeing to act and feel how others want her to feel and act. Very much like Rosalie, who also does not apologize for how she feels, only explains. 

Rosalie apologizes for the way she acted, but didn’t do so for how she felt about Bella and just explained it. Leah does the same when she speaks to Jacob in BD.

Still, both women see violent, seemingly selfish actions, like killing Bella despite her not being an obvious threat, as a means of protecting their loved ones or the integrity of their social unit. They are willing to do the “dirty work”, as some might call it. That willingness is admirable, even the act is gruesome.

What marks them as different is that as a native woman Leah already comes in with the community-above-self mindset, whilst Rosalie is thinking more in terms of family and self. 

While the white domestic-to-community space and the vampire world are largely more nuclear/individual-oriented, indigenous tribes emphasize community and family, which is more towards what people of the late 2010s to the present are advocating for. 

Leah escapes Sam’s pack knowing/seeing it as her making it possible to alleviate both her own and Sam/Emily/the other wolves’ negative emotions and pressures that her presence brings.

It’s empathetic, emotionally resilient, and mentally adept of her. She has taken care of herself and others all at once. (Now I’m repeating myself.)

Leah

Here’s what @therealvinelle says about Leah (Link to Post):

It's in part because she's a great character, she's easily the most interesting of the shapeshifters (I do love Sam, but he's not Leah). She's the only girl and struggles with that, she has a tragic love story, we get to know her better in Breaking Dawn in a way we don't get to know most of the minor characters in Twilight.

It's also because Leah is one of the very few non-white woman characters in Twilight, and easily the one who gets the most screen time, attention from the narrative, and personality. Her actor in the movies is an actual Native American woman. That matters.

Here’s what I think and add to that (not a contradiction):

A) Meyer does let Leah transparently see other women’s needs apart of from her own while also looking out for herself. 

She makes room for others (conceptually) enough to really look at what they are doing when she can, compared to Rosalie who also, in her own way, prioritizes herself and the group over one or two member’s feelings.

B) She’s frank with her actions and words about her experiences as a woman in a male dominated sphere...to the men who do no care to listen. 

C) Worryingly, it’s like she is the character chosen by Meyer to shoulder all or most of the load of being an example of healthy living/adaptations within the Twilight universe. 

D) She’s still burdened with the load of not only the other character’s expectations but some people’s hopes and desires for how Twilight “should” have been! Here I am waxing poetic about how she is so cool, yet why should I heap all of the responsibility of clearheaded-ness on this fictional woman character when I could on myself, Meyer, and you...anyone who takes the time to read anyway.

E) *Everything I said about her comparison to Rosalie.

Finale

Unfortunately, Meyer ties most of her narrative function to the fact she was dumped and must deal with the prospect of her being unable to have kids of her own with her being the only female wolf in tribal history.

Poor Leah. She is also one of the only characters that is almost un-conflictedly emulation-worthy but has been held back by Meyer’s and--admittedly my own-- ignorance of Quileute/native gender politics. “Almost” because she seems to have been ready to kill an unborn child along with its mother, but then again the wolves didn’t know what kind of danger Renesmee would present to their tribe so....point is, she is the most eye-catching and one of the least “problematic”.

Leah is a good (by genre) gothic romance heroine and the modern romance heroine, but she suffers for being so....why?

Because she isn’t white and Meyer is while also having never seemingly regarded POC outlooks. The latter  person trying her best to make a character/love story benefits from being white (Bella/BellaxEdward). 

[ballet-symphonie]

Moscow IBC / VBA Grads Questions

Hi Ale! Do you know if we can watch the Moscow IBC online? If so, where?

It's broadcast on Medici.tv !

I dont think IBC gonna be a fair competition. lmfao just looking at the jury.... aint no way. I have my predictions of winners and people that will def place. Anyways, must be tough both for Valiullina and Koshkaryova coz they're preparing for grad concert and at the same time the competition.... but i think they'll place. have u seen Koshkaryova at mariinsky's concert? Yeah, fateev will never let her get away.

The judging at the most recent edition (2017) was actually pretty decent IMO. The best people won, and there was a notable diversity of schools and nationalities among the prize winners. That won't happen this year, obviously, due to the war. My bigger concern is about the big names competing. Generally, competitions like these are to give dancers a chance to launch or relaunch their careers. It's supposed to be a springboard. If you're a prominent first soloist in a huge theatre, do you really need to be at this competition? They already have a stable job, public interest and attention, and a good repertoire and touring opportunities. While I'm super excited to see them perform, and I know the fame, money, and prestige are attractive, I'm also like....what are you doing here? There are other dancers who could benefit more, there are other dancers who need it more, some are betting it all on this competition.

I know how exhausted I was going to an IBC in my last year of schooling. I don't envy Koshkaryova and Valiullina in the slightest. Especially because I don't think they can 'reuse' anything they're going to dance for the grad shows in Moscow. And they have so little time in between! And yes, I think Fayteev has learned his lesson after the Smirnova debacle...they've 'lost' too many of their best girls to MK or BT

The fact that in the same class that Koshkareva's has Valiulina, Sharova and Kamysheva. It's like 2018 all over again lol. My only hope is that they accept all the girls at MT or even BT.

To be honest, I think this year of girls is more similar to 2015, where there are two really outstanding students (Shakirova and Lukina) with some other good dancers in that year (Elena Solomyanko, Nika Tsvikhtaria, Olga Makarova)

[hydrangeasimagination]

Crossover Crush Competition

Wherein which our dear characters meet their rival for your affections.

The twist is that they're from somewhere else.

Another universe!

I've been writing a lot of BNHA but we need some more love for the two other fandoms I write for!

But let's get into the contestants.... Shall we?

Thoughts in quotes are italicized.

In Kusuo’s case, words spoken through telepathy are bolded and italicized and are in quotes. 

~ Dari

Round 1

Saiki Kusuo VS. Manuda Kaede (Saiki K & Kakegurui)

"It seems this is a running theme."

The thought was drier as the would-be tone used. Saiki's eyes didn't leave the bouncing form in the distance, the blur of two figures coming closer and becoming more clear with every step.

He'd wait though.

Always for you.

With that sweet as sugar smile he silently admired, you practically sang, "Kusuo!!"

His gaze drifted to the tall boy beside you. Just barely able to keep his expression neutral when he felt the onslaught of unpleasant thoughts from his head.

"So, this is the one that Jabami mentioned... I don't quite see what the fuss is."

Saiki nearly cringed, catching himself before he'd rolled his eyes.

It seems brooding megane were the type you attracted.

"What a pain."

"Kusuo, this is my friend from school," You gestured "Manyuda - senpai, this is Kusuo! My childhood friend."

Violet clashed with onyx, gazes hardening once they've crossed.

The psychic nearly considered taking off his own lenses, but with you there, he couldn't risk it.

No matter.

"Nice to meet you." The white haired male stiffly greeted. "I will be joining you both on this study session."

Kusuo just nodded.

Slowly, dark eyes flickered to give him a once over whilst the dialogue in his head played out. "There's nothing noteworthy of this Saiki Kusuo, seemed I was concerned for nothing. I don't understand why there's nothing but pictures of him in that notebook."

A fury blazed under his skin once those thoughts reached him, it'd apparently started showed in his face as he sees Manyuda narrow his eyes in return. But he didn't let him get the satisfaction for losing his temper for no good reason. Especially not in front of you.

"Ku?" The chime of your voice was filled with concern, making butterflies come alive in his stomach to overtake the anger.

"Let's go, my mom probably set out snacks."

Pointedly, he made eye contact with Manyuda and reached to take your hand.

A smug smile threatened to pull at his lips as he saw his shoulders tense.

"... Perhaps he is more of a threat than I thought."

Oh, he had no idea.

Round 2

Teruhashi Kokomi VS. Bakugo Katsuki (Saiki K & BNHA)

Teruhashi had a problem with Bakugo Katsuki.

He was a brute would be her first gripe.

Crude, rude, mouthy - not to mention cocky, self-righteous, and just straight up arrogant. It'd made him completely immune to her charms, even though he'd never hope to match up to her beauty.

Though she begrudgingly admitted he is good looking, though not enough to act how he does.

But that wasn't the root cause of the issue.

He was smart.

So much so that he could tell that she was putting up a front the entire time. It was frustrating how observant he was as it'd made him call her out even at risk of his own reputation.

Though it's clear he didn't care what people thought about him anyway so he has nothing to lose. He looked through her like it was the easiest thing he'd ever done.

But that wasn't the problem either.

Even though he drove her nuts with his indifference to her, his annoyance at her very presence.

How he'd branded her a “fake” and an “extra” boiled her blood.

She was tough - as thick skin was something she had to have as the pretty and perfect girl.

Bakugo Katsuki is a menace.

A handsome, smart, talented, menace that knew what he wanted.

They'd be a powerful pair if it weren't for one factor...

Her problem was him being around you.

Her crush.

You were lovely! So charming and soft, there's no pressure to be perfect around you because of that sugary aura and lovingly accepting nature. That tendency to fire back and match a flame makes you terribly alluring...

Much to her dismay, she wasn't the only one that thought so.

She sees how he looks at you.

How different he treats you to the rabble...

It makes her skin crawl.

"Hello, Teruhashi - san!" Chirpy and upbeat, bright eyes and all, the requisite greeting she'd grown endeared to.

"... Faker." Bakugo hissed, eyes suspiciously trained on her smile.

He stood unnecessarily close to you, hands stuffed into the pockets of his sagging pants. She could tell he was itching to hold your hand, not unlike her.

The two of them were prideful though.

Unwilling to back down.

"Shall we go? That sweets shop isn't going to be open forever." Kokomi beamed at you nonetheless, radiance pouring from her.

There was no stares of envy directed at them, likely having been scared off by the explosive blond. Knowing of his dislike for her helped in that case too.

"Sounds good." You hummed, unaware of the tension between your friends.

Carmine met sapphire.

Bolts of electricity shot between them, competitive and fiery.

It pained her to admit that he was a worthy rival.

But there can only be one victor.

Round 3

Saotome Mary VS. Uraraka Ochako (Kakegurui & BNHA)

Carefully setting teeth, careful not to grind. Withholding from speaking ruinous words lest favor is tipped differently. Peals of jealously curled deep in her gut, only barely offset by the feelings of affection blanketing her in warmth.

Uraraka was simply too cute.

Too nice.

There's no way she could be this naive, right?

Mary teetered on that fine edge, unable to tell the motives of her apparently oblivious rival in romance.

She'd barely able to keep herself composed when it came to matters of the heart. Her quirk went haywire, turning so red that she'd match the blazer Mary donned.

Sutbly nonexistent in Uraraka's dictionary, plain and simple,

But her suspicion remained, ever looming and growing.

Then there was you.

Genuinely oblivious, charismatic, kind, and so endearingly stupid... No wonder the both of them vyed for your attention so readily.

Though it seemed to be unknown to Ochako that Mary was even competition.

Her thoughts buzzed, "Or...."

Biting the inside of her cheeks, golden gaze narrowing into pinpricks.

A wash of irritation.

"She didn't think I was noteworthy enough to be considered."

Not until today.

Today would be the day.

"Uraraka Ochako."

The brunette looked startled, standing betwixt her friends. Of whom were surprised to see Saotome standing before them, her head held high with a burning fire in her gaze.

Uraraka suddenly felt uneasy, judging by her look.

Both of them knew of each other, yes, but only because of associating with you.

"C - can I help you, Saotome - san?" She squeaked out, confused.

Plantings her hands on her hips, the girl in question straightened her back and stared right at her.

Between parted pink lips, dropped a bomb, "This is a declaration of war."

"E - eh? Saotome - sa -"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, not even you can be that much of an airhead." Mary scoffed gently, reaching her hand up and sweeping her pigtail back.

Her friends were unable to speak, unable to believe that this was in fact happening.

"For..."

The blond fixed her rival with a gaze, a little vindicated to watch her flinch back at the syllables of your given name. Nothing but a determination lined her eyes and she was going to make good on the promise she made.

"The rules are there will be no sabotage," She plainly stated "and we will be happy no matter which one of us wins out."

Uraraka still stood, gaping and red in the face.

Mary didn't stay for her answer, turning on her heels and knowing exactly where to find you.

This was her day after all.

She didn't turn her head, just kept walking.

Distinctly, she wondered if she'd been mistaken.

Ochako's shout made her pause mid-step, made her wait to make sure it was her rival that spoke...

After this night, there will be no mercy.

"... Let's do our best!!"

"Let's go to war."

[neighbourart]

HEVESI ANNABELLA - formatervező/designer

Éveken át hordta magánál egy öreg kakukkos óra fogaskerekét, 12-13 évesen, a szülei tudta nélkül, többször is elsétált a békéscsabai állomásra, és felszállt az első Szegedre tartó vonatra, az „alázatos-puritán” és a „gőgös-reprezentatív” minimalizmus áll hozzá a legközelebb.

She had the cog of an old cuckoo clock on her for years, when she was 12-13 years old she walked to the train station at Békéscsaba without her parents knowing, and got on the first train that went to Szeged, she prefers “humble-puritan” and “arrogant-representative” minimal styles.

Annabella asztala/Annabella’s table.

Milyen típusú emlékek inspirálnak jobban: a jók vagy a rosszak?/What kind of memories inspire you the most? The good or the bad ones? Általában azt hívom elő, ami a témában releváns. Valószínűleg több „rossz” emléket használok fel, mivel probléma-orientált a gondolkodásom. A szakmára jellemző, hogy arra emlékszel, amikor a váróban egy idegen zavaróan közel ült hozzád, és hallottad a pulzusát, de az nem okoz maradandó élményt, ha a székek levegősen, megfelelő távolságban voltak egymástól.

I usually call in for the theme of relevant information. I assume I am using more of the “bad” memories since my thinking is problem-oriented. This profession is characterized by remembering if someone was sitting too close to you in a waiting room, so close that you can hear their pulse, but you never remember if the chairs were arranged nice and air in the first place.

Hogyan lendülsz túl az időszakos alkotói válságon?/How do you overcome a temporary artistic crisis? Racionalizálom a helyzetet. Nálam a válság jellemzően az érzelmi kapcsolódás hiánya, a bénító maximalizmus és a látszólag túl sok döntési lehetőség miatt alakul ki. Volt, hogy az segített, hogy fel mertem vállalni: utálom a feladatot, amit kaptam. Ezzel kialakult az erős érzelem. A maximalizmusom annyira megvisel, hogy újra és újra elbizonytalanodom, képes vagyok-e egyáltalán bármire. Ilyenkor elő szoktam venni régi munkáimat, mert emlékeztetnek arra, mi motivált mondjuk középiskolás koromban. Ez segít. A túl sok döntési lehetőségről előbb utóbb kiderül, hogy valójában nem rendelkeztem elég információval a feladatról az adott pillanatban, vagy még nem dolgoztam fel azokat. Akkor a legnehezebb elindulni, ha eredendően nagyon kevés az információ az elején – ilyen tipikus helyzet a diploma. Ebben az esetben először megtervezem, hogy mit fogok tervezni. Leírom és strukturálom azt, amit éppen tudok – jellemzően elég triviális dolgokat, és ez segít felvenni a fonalat, jó kérdéseket feltenni.

I rationalize the situation. A crisis occurs when there is a lack of emotional connection, paralyzing maximalism, and seemingly multiple choices available. Sometimes it helped when I could acknowledge that I hate the task. This created a strong emotion towards it. My maximalism wears me out so much that I get discouraged, am I able to do anything at all? At times like this, I get my old works out because they are a reminder of what motivated me for instance in high school. This helps. When it comes to multiple choices, it usually figures that I just didn’t have enough information about the task at the time, or I haven’t processed the information. I find it most difficult to get started when you lack information about the task in the beginning- a typical situation of such is writing a thesis. In this case, I start by planning my planning process. These are usually very obvious things, but this helps me to go on and makes me able to ask the right questions.

Kinek mutatod meg először a legújabb munkádat?/Who sees your work first? A társamnak, Bella Gábornak. Vele folyamatos versenyben vagyunk „Az év kritikusa” címért, ezért egy pillanatig sem kérdőjelezem meg a véleménye őszinteségét, és szakmai hitelességét.

My partner, Bella Gábor. We are at constant competition with each other for the “Critic of the Year” award, so I never have second thoughts about his honesty and professional legitimacy.

Mi a legkedvesebb gyerekkori emléked?/What is your favorite childhood memory? 12-13 éves koromban többször elsétáltam a békéscsabai állomásra, és felszálltam az első Szegedre tartó vonatra. Néha napokat töltöttem ott. Anyukámat nem irigylem, de őszintén szólva engem elmondhatatlanul építettek ezek az alkalmak. A szabadság, a vélt függetlenség, a vállalt kockázat. Erős élmény, később segített több nehéz döntést is meghoznom.

When I was 12-13 years old I walked to the Békéscsbaba train station on many occasions and hopped the first train that went to Szeged. I don’t envy my mother, but for me, these trips were great in building me up. Freedom and the illusion of being independent, the risk taken. It is a very strong experience, it helped me with making very tough decisions later in life.

Mit érzel, amikor egy másik művész a tiédhez hasonló munkát készít?/What or how do you feel when someone does something similar to your work? Szerencsére igazán zavaró azonossággal még nem szembesültem. Egyszer egy sikertelen pályázatomat követően pár évvel később a zsűri egyik tagja előállt egy olyan munkával, aminek a koncepciója hasonlított az enyémhez. Mivel szakmailag nem lehetett minket egy napon említeni, egyszerre sértette rettenetesen a vélt igazságérzetemet, egyszerre éreztem eszköztelennek és nevetségesnek magam, hogy egyáltalán felmerül bennem, hogy belőlem inspirálódott, és egyszerre éltem meg pozitív visszajelzésként, hogy a tervezői megközelítésemnek van létjogosultsága.

Luckily I haven’t seen a bothering resemblance in any other works yet. Once after a failed tender one of the members of the jury came up with a work with a very similar concept to mine. Since we were not on the same professional level, it hurt my sense of justice, I felt ridiculous and wimpy for even thinking that this judge was inspired by my work, and it also feels like positive feedback at the same time, that my designer approach is legit.

Mit szeretnél, hogy miről emlékezzenek majd rád?/What would you like to be remembered by? Szeretnék egy olyan kultúrában élni, ahol az emberek nem keverik össze a tervezés és formaalkotás fogalmát az esztétizálással. Ahol a design nem a „túlárazottat” és a „szubjektívszépet” jelenti. Szeretnék olyan alkotó lenni, aki részt vett ennek a kultúrának a megteremtésében. Ehhez hozzátartozik, hogy a társadalmunk szempontjából égető kérdésekkel szeretnék foglalkozni a szakmám eszközeivel. Ez a távlatos cél, amiben egyelőre a saját stabil pontomat keresem.

I would like to live in a culture where people don’t confuse the word design with aesthetics. where design does not mean “overpriced” or “subjective beauty”.  I would like to be a creator who participated in founding this culture. And part of this is that I am dealing with important questions regarding our society’s point of view with the tools of my profession. This is my further goal for which I am still looking for my stable standing point.

Van olyan gyerekes szokásod, amit akkor csinálsz, amikor senki nem figyel?/Do you have a childish habit that you do when no one is watching? A gyerekes szokásaimat nyíltan vállalom mások előtt – sőt, ehhez az eszközhöz fordulok, ha zavarban vagyok, ami mások társaságában szinte állandó.

I take on my childish habits in front of others - I even use tools when I feel nervous which happens often around other people.

Mi volt a legnagyobb őrültség, amit eddig csináltál?/What’s the craziest thing that you have ever done? Talán nem a legnagyobb, de meghatározó: a szüleimnek eljátszottam, hogy elalszom a reál tagozatos gimnázium felvételijét, hogy művészeti szakközépbe mehessek.

Maybe it’s not the biggest but most meaningful: I pretended in front of my parents to oversleep on the morning of the entrance exam of the science high school so that I can go to art school.

Van-e napi rutinod?/Do you have a daily routine?  Évek óta dolgozom rajta, de nem jön össze.

I am working on it for years now, still don’t have one.

Kedvenc tárgyad?/Favorite object? Egy öreg kakukkos óra fogaskerekét éveken át magamnál hordtam, pár hónapja pedig kitűztem az íróasztalom fölé. Eredetileg egy fotózás miatt szereztem, amikor rádöbbentett, hogy nagyon közel áll hozzám ez a fajta mérnöki esztétika, így végül megtartottam.

I had the cog of an old cuckoo clock on me for years, and a few months ago I put it up above my desk. Originally I got it for a photography session when I realized that this kind of engineer aesthetics is very close to my heart, so I kept it.

Hogyan fogsz neki egy új munkának?/How do you get started on a new project? Először minél több információt szerzek a témámról, és rengeteget szoktam beszélgetni másokkal. Így könnyebb kibontanom az asszociációkat, gondolatokat, emlékeket. Azonnal körvonalazódik, hogy mi az, ami csak az én fejemben van, és mi az, amiben más is érintett. Ezzel egyszerre távolítom el magamtól és hozom nagyon közel a feladatot.

First I gather as much information about the theme as I can, I have a lot of discussions with others. This makes it easier for me to unwrap associations, thoughts, memories. It is brought to light immediately what are the things that are only existing in my head and what are the things that also concern others. This way I bring the task closer to me and push it away at the same time.

Van egy jól körülhatárolható hangulat, amikor könnyebb számodra az alkotás?/Is there a specific mood that makes creating easier for you? Az érzelmileg erősen töltött helyzetek tudnak leginkább ráállítani a pályára. A dolgok leegyszerűsödnek, ilyenkor tűpontosan látom, hogy mit akarok. Teljesen kitisztul az a gyakran túldimenzionált katyvasz, amit a megrendelői ellentmondások, a végeláthatatlan szempontrendszer és eltérő motivációk alkotnak. Jól körülhatárolható konkrét érzésem például, ha dühös vagyok.

I am most inspired by very strong emotions. Things become simple, I can see crystal clear what I want.  The often over-dimensioned mess created by customer contradictions and endless points of views and different motivations just clear up completely. A distinctive, specific feeling is being angry for instance.

Mit szeretnél kifejezni az alkotásaidon keresztül?/What would you like to express through your art-work? Mindig arra törekszem, hogy a munkáim tükrözzék a feladat komplexitását. A feltett kérdéseket, és az adott válaszokat is. Fontos számomra, hogy a végeredmény több síkon legyen értelmezhető, és ez alapján szinte minden mögöttes gondolat és szándék felfejthetővé váljon. Az összefüggéseket szeretném hangsúlyozni.

Az összefüggéseket szeretném hangsúlyozni. I am always trying to make my work show the complexity of the task. The questions asked and answer given. It is important to me that the result can be understood on many levels and because of that all thoughts and intentions behind it can be unraveled.

Milyen a stílusod?/What is your style like? Az „alázatos-puritán” és a „gőgös-reprezentatív” minimalizmus áll hozzám a legközelebb.

I prefer “humble-puritan” and “arrogant-representative” minimal styles.

Mi az, ami a leginkább feltölt?/What can recharge you the most? Az alvás.

Sleeping.

Mi a legrosszabb tulajdonságod?/What is your worst characteristic? Irracionális félelmeim vannak, és jellemzően abból táplálkoznak, hogy túlgondolok helyzeteket. Ez első sorban a szociális interakciókra hat.

I have irrational fears and they feed off of me overthinking situations. This has an effect on social interaction in the first place.

Mi az az alkotás, amit mindenképpen meg kell csinálnod, mielőtt meghalsz?/What is that one artwork you have to do before you die? Évek óta van egy koncepcióm, amit azért nem merek bevállalni diplomaként, mert sokkal több időre lenne szükségem, és más területeket is érint. Egy olyan multi-szenzuális médiumot szeretnék a szakmám révén új megvilágításba helyezni, ami még kiaknázatlan. Jelenleg pénztermelésre használják, én pedig szeretném olyan dolgok mellé állítani, mint mondjuk az érzékenyítés, az oktatás vagy egyfajta terápia. De először meg kell találnom az embereimet.

I have a conception for years now which I am too scared to use as a theme of thesis because I would need way more time for it and it would involve other areas as well. I would like to shed new light on such a multi-sensual medium that is currently used to produce money, but I would like to use it as some kind of therapy regarding education. But I am still searching for people to work with.

Ha egyetlen tanácsot kellene adni más, esetleg még kezdő tehetségeknek, mi lenne az?/If you could give only one piece of advice to others, perhaps beginner talents, what would that be? Legyenek alázatosak, nyitottak minden területre, gondolkodjanak és tervezzenek következetesen, tanuljanak meg vitatkozni, és segítsék egymást!

They should be humble, open to any areas, they should think and plan consequently, they should learn to dispute and help each other!

-------------------------------------------- NÉVJEGY - Hevesi Annabella:

„1993-ban születtem Békéscsabán. Anyukám nagyon szerette volna, hogy építész legyek, de gyerekként sajnos nem volt elég fantáziám, hogy belelássam magam ebbe a szakmába.

Tizenhárom éves koromban elhatároztam, hogy a MOME-ra jelentkezem, ezért először a Békéscsabai Evangélikus Gimnáziumban „elektronikus grafikát”, 2011-től pedig a Kisképzőben animációt tanultam. 2013-ban, a szakvizsga előtt néhány hónappal döntöttem el, hogy inkább formatervezőnek jelentkezem a Moholy-Nagy Művészeti Egyetemen, mert egy nyíltnapon megismertem azt a következetes tervezői gondolkodást, melynek módszertanát a grafikán és mozgóképen keresztül nem sikerült elsajátítanom.

A BA diploma megszerzése után közel egy teljes évig játékokat és bútorokat terveztem egy budapesti cégnél, és itt találkoztam Bella Gáborral, aki felkért társtervezőnek egy belsőépítészeti megbízásra, a Sopron Basket öltözőkomplexumának megtervezésére. (Ez volt életem első belsőépítészeti projektje, és bár még nem hivatalos, a napokban kaptunk érte egy arany minősítésű A’design awardot.)

2017 szeptemberében folytattam tanulmányaimat a formatervező mesterképzés bútortervező szakirányán, 2018 februárjában pedig Gáborral ketten megalapítottuk az IO bútortervezéssel, belsőépítészettel, formatervezéssel és kivitelezéssel foglalkozó stúdiónkat, melynek azóta is ügyvezetője és vezető tervezője vagyok. Jellemzően közforgalmú terekkel, ezen belül főleg szállodákkal foglalkozunk, de két alkalommal a MOME formatervező tanszék kiállításán is közreműködtünk, illetve munkáink kivitelezésében is aktívan részt veszünk. A megbízásokon kívül, a közeljövőben szeretnénk saját termékeket fejleszteni. Jelenleg egy panzió koncepciótervezésén dolgozunk, mely a belsőépítészeten és bútortervezésen felül az építészetre is kiterjed.”

“I was born in 1993 in Békéscsaba. My mother really would have liked me to become an architect, but unfortunately, as a child, I didn’t have the imagination to look into this profession.

When I was 13 years old I decided that I will apply to MOME (Moholy-Nagy University of Art and Design Budapest)  so I studied electronic graphics at the Evangelical Gymnasium of Békéscsaba and later I studied animation at Kisképző. In 2013, a few months before my finals I decided to apply to MOME because during an open day I got to know that consequent designer thinking method that I could not attain studying motion picture and graphics.

Almost a year after finishing my BA I was designing furniture and toys at a company in Budapest, this is where I met Bella Gábor who asked me to be a co-designer at an interior design project, the design of Sopron Basket’s changing room complex. (This was the first interior design project of my life, and even though it is not official yet, we got a golden A’design award for it recently)

In 2017 I continued my studies as a furniture design major and in February 2018 Gabor and I founded IO, our studio dealing with furniture design, design, interior design and execution of which I am still the CEO and leading designer. We usually work with public spaces, hotels mainly, but on two occasions we participated in the MOME design department’s exhibition and we are actively participating in the execution of our own works as well. Besides our commissions, we would like to develop our own products in the near future. We are currently working on the conception planning of a motel which covers not only interior design and furniture design but architecture as well.”

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// ANNABELLA MUNKÁI ITT TEKINTHETŐK MEG/CHECK OUT ANNABELLA’S WORK HERE: Weboldal Behance Facebook Instagram

[the-nysh]

Hey, since you talked about your feelings on td//dk and kr//bk (which were super interesting to read btw!) do you have anything to say about opinions on k//cchako?

Hey there! :) And thank you! So let’s see…Uraraka andKacchan. I see fan content of them on my dash fromtime to time, but it rarely garners any deeper thought, so I often just scrollpast with little to no reaction. Simply put: I don’t harbor enough investmentor interest in them as a ship. Even so! Yes, I still have opinions about them, so I’ll try to go in depth here. 

From their limited amount of canon interactions together, therewere actually two noteworthy scenes of them that I really liked. 1.) During theirmatch in the Sports Festival, and 2.) the databook omake situated after Deku andKacchan’s fight vs All Might. (However, in both cases, their interactionsrevolved around Deku, so…) 

I liked their match in the Sports Festival because it wasone of the first times we get to see another side of Kacchan – an important one thatreveals some of his honor code. Fighting seriously against a girl, thateveryone else in the audience assumed was ‘weak and frail’ based onappearances, and therefore automatically judged their match barbaric andunfair…well. Aizawa (Dadzawa), and Uraraka herself, proved them wrong. Urarakaproved her grit and Kacchan treated her as a legitimate threat regardless ofgender stereotypes. (Actually, he approached their match seriously and cautiouslybecause he thought she had a planfrom Deku.) Further acknowledging herstrength with the ‘what part of her was frail?’ comment too.

It’s herewhere I thought, ‘nice, this is a guythat can be trusted, because he earnestly puts his all into the things he’sserious about and expects the same -the best-from his opponents in return.’ (If they don’t,he interprets that as them underestimating or looking down on him.) Without anyother ulterior factors swaying him, there’s a steadfast consistency and honorto that kind of focused mindset, both in how he handles himself and impartially approaches thethings that matter to him, which makes him predictably trustworthy in the long run. (Also meaning, if there’s ever anyfault/betrayal in that mindset, it’s a break in character…which ayyy, Deku willtake notice! ;D)

However, I took the Sports battle and these establishing traits(Uraraka’s grit and Kacchan’s honor) as separate strengths respective to each character, rather than anything shippy.Because Uraraka ultimately fought for herself (and her parents) while Kacchanproved he’d take any girl (anyone)seriously if they show proper worth and challenge respect. So it wasn’thim showing special treatment for Uraraka in particular, but an example of hishonest and impartial competitive sportsmanship. 

Now we have Uraraka thankful that Kacchan took herseriously, and therefore she’s unafraid to confront/approach him on her ownterms -as equals- later. Which is good! :D And it’s why I like the omakecontent of them so much, where she questions him about his behavior in the endof term test:

Uraraka: “It’s like you’re intimidating (Deku) because you’re scared and wanthim to go away from you.”

It’s greatbecause her intuition can clearly read through him: Kacchan purposely singles out and keepsDeku at bay because he fears how Deku makes him feel. Like, boom! She totallycalls him out. ;D BUT…I didn’t read this interaction of theirs as shippy either,because it revolved around Deku AND showed how much Uraraka is in support of their reconciled friendship. She WANTSthem to get along! (If anything, it makes hermore like their wingman… So ayy, bothshe and Kiri would be supportive of their repaired relationship!)

So, from these two canon interactions (only one was a significant event in the manga by the way…), I see the potential basis for a refreshing m/f friendship, where shecan mentally joust and bicker with him without any major consequence. However,as a romantic ship, no; it’s not enough to convince me.

Aside from how limited their canon interactions are, and howin both cases they revolvedaround Deku…the two of them have other canon characteristics to consider. Notonce has Kacchan ever shown interestin any girls in ‘that’ way (or really, invested interest in anyone other than Deku)…and Uraraka hasher utterly transparent feelings for Deku to resolve. Already, that starts themin separate, opposed lanes with respect to their connection to Deku. So whenconsidering them as a ship instead, Ihave to repeatedly ask myself howthey’d ever manage to merge onto the same lane, and what that would even entail,narratively.

Because what wouldit mean? Would Uraraka’s feelings for Deku simmer down to sisterly affectionsof support and admiration, leaving her to choose the immediate second option:Deku’s riv–…wait a sec, what aboutKacchan’s feelings for Deku? (This is writing off that same elephant in the room issue I talkedabout in my previous post…) Are theyboth actually rivals for Deku’s affections?! XD Would Uraraka choose to bewith Kacchan, for the sake of helpinghim ‘get over’ his feelings for Deku too?? WAIT hold on. This is the SAME thingI talked about with kr/bk: it is notUraraka (or Kiri’s) business, or even their responsibility, to forcibly butt-in with the hopes of ‘changing’ or ‘fixing’ Kacchan’s problems/bad behavior FOR him.Except in Uraraka’s case, there’s theadded, antiquated gendered trope of the ‘good girl’ saving the ‘bad boy’ at theexpense of her own wellbeing. Sacrificing her own happiness to care for him fulltime. Which…oh no. Urarakadoesn’t deserve such a harsh fate like that. And Kacchan is not there to become a ‘pet project’ to coddle and change at theexpense of his feelings either. Theseare all some of the main arguments against the ship that I’ve seen, and I agreethat I’m definitely not interested in seeing a one-sided/harmful relationshipdynamic perpetuate like that…but I still have one final, personal dealbreaker.

Which is how Kacchan (my fav) ultimately becomescharacterized. And it relates to his ‘honor code’ established IN his fightagainst Uraraka too. Consider how Hori likely designed Deku and Uraraka to bethe ‘obvious’ endgame het pairing…with them having ongoing, mutual crushes oneach other (truthfully, I really only see fledgling, one-sided flustered admiration/envyfrom Uraraka’s side…) Now then, HOW does this make Kacchan look in turn, forhim to step in between them like this? If he knows they’re friends who like each other, would he really purposely step in to sabotageDeku’s chances with the object of his affections (Uraraka)? No way, not even outof potential spite against Deku or something. It would betray the very consistent and steadfast ‘trust’ about hischaracter that I talked about before.

Because Kacchan’s a gruff asshole ingeneral, but THIS (essentially ‘stealing’ Deku’s crush) would be an underhanded dick move of a whole new lowfor him. Completely at odds with his established character development. He outrighttells villains how he despisesunderhanded tactics like cheating and lying! Doing something like this would contradictand destroy his own ideals. Even if he somehow had a crush on Uraraka (which would already be a stretch andsuspension of disbelief, since he’s never shown any interest in girls likethat anyway) he’d do everything in his power to stay in his own lane and continueaiming for his goal as the top hero. Kacchan lives by his own strict standards andperfectionism in his drive to become the best.He’s an asshole, but not that other kindof asshole. Whenever I see shippy fan content of kac/chako being together atthe expense of Deku, this is the kindof asshole it makes Kacchan appear to me, which is a mischaracterization Ican’t tolerate. It’s a reason I haven’t seen other people talk about, but it’s alwaysbeen in the back of my mind, and probably the main reason why the idea of theirship rubs me the wrong way.

Whew, but thankfully, I don’t see any signs from Hori that they’llbecome endgame. (And it’s why most fan content of them slides past like water off a duck for me.) Truthfully and honestly,I really want Hori to step up Uraraka’s game, to make her a fully fleshed out characterand therefore, a viable contender in either of the boys’ hearts. Because atthe rate she’s going…she’s falling behind to the wayside compared to how Hori’sdeveloping Deku and Kacchan’srelationship. And she’ll have a tough time displacing the lifelong feelingsDeku has had for Kacchan, unless she does something drastic. (Ayyyy so where’sthat one traitor theory~)

Honestly, using Uraraka (or any girl actually) as shipfodder for the boys, just because of her gender, is something I’m not a fan of.I would rather be a fan of Uraraka based on the merits of her own character,and not from her designation as a satellite love interest to anyone. But IF Urarakahad to end up with anyone endgame, I would muchprefer her with either Iida or Tsuyu. Both of them are loyal and good friendswho would treat her with respect and provide needs in the way she deserves.

Alright! I think that covers everything. This actually got alot longer than anticipated. XD Thanks for reading!

[ilegnangeli]

Random May Thought #1

I think I may have forgotten how to properly write an entry on Tumblr. Much features have changed since I last posted here. If it weren’t for Instagram’s connect to Tumblr feature, I wouldn’t have updated this blog in years. Last I posted was a picture of my penmanship in Mandarin. I was still a student in China back then. And well now, I am back to the mothership.

Two years ago, COVID-19 didn’t exist. Oh wait, it did, they just hadn’t named it yet or they haven’t discovered it yet (I actually remember they used to call it nCoV). Two years ago, I was still lying in my bed in my spacious dorm room probably wondering why time flew so fast. Two years ago, I was a completely different person. I had plans two years later, you know. Plans that got soiled. I didn’t think I would still be here. I should be experiencing spring elsewhere and yet I’m basking in the scorching heat of summer in the Republic of the Philippines. Not that I’m complaining. Alright, fine, I am.

Life has been pretty tough lately. I think I wrote the same thing in one of my book reviews in Goodreads. After reading that book by Paul Kalanithi, I became more aware of how finite life is. I’ve always loved books that sorta ended in tragedies (maybe it’s the masochist in me lmao). But reading a memoir of someone who suffered a similar fate to those fictional characters I’ve read before, reading through his personal struggle made me think about how life—at the end of it all—is truly fragile.

I also read through my old entries in here. I laughed at some. I smiled at some. I sorta became sad after reading some entries. But I’m glad I wrote. Now, I’m feeling like continuing this thing I do often when I’m overwhelmed by life: writing. There’s a sense of bittersweetness to reading your old diary or journal entries for the world to see. Two nights ago, I dug through my old notebooks and read some of my written entries in there. Ten, nine, eight years ago versions of me who loved writing and sharing her thoughts on pages of now worn-out notebooks. Again, I’m glad I wrote.

Writing is probably something I’m not really best at but I’m good at. And suffice to say, I enjoy it. I love writing and it’s probably going to be the end of me. Funny how going back home, here in the mountains of Rizal, transforms me into a sentimental freak. The life in the city is probably the most ideal, future-focused lifestyle but the old soul in me will always go back and try to rekindle the sad and happy memories of the past.

Right now, I’m sat at the end of my bed. With a laptop. Typing these random thoughts. I see my piano on the left. I see my bookshelves right in front of me. And I see my luggage, to my right, that I haven’t used since I got back from China (I didn’t use this for my trip to Japan, I used a smaller one lmao).

I leafed through the pages of my old planner. It was the planner I used for my final year in university. I saw this “Dream Board” that I ever so creatively put together using cutouts from magazines, stickers, and sticky notes. I wrote there that I would make films, music, and literature. Funny how those “dreams” became reality. One by one. I also remember listing down the places I’d always wanted to visit in that planner. I remember writing all the countries that I would, one day, visit. And by some weird miracle, I’ve ticked off so many of those places. Well, except Amsterdam (because damn, the Netherlands is so far away). But don’t worry self, we’ll get there. Eventually. Lmao.

My dream board was extended to the next page where I listed down so many things that I would save up for. Teenage me would be proud of herself because ten years later, she has owned that John Green book collection (she now even has at least three versions of each book John Green has published, I know that’s ridiculous but please stop judging me lol), she has also owned two MacBooks (an Air in 2015 and a Pro in 2020), she has bought a digital piano (God, I srsly am in love with this piano, teenage me would cry out of joy I swear), and she has travelled to a lot of her dream destinations and countries. Teenage me would be so proud of who she has become. I seriously sighed as I typed that last line.

Ten years. Feels like an entire lifetime ago. I didn’t think life would be this fast-paced. I mean, thanks technology but boohoo because here I am, somehow struggling, asking myself every single day, hour, minute why adulting has to be this difficult. I sorta blame my teenage self because, she wished for this moment. She wished to fast-forward to my yuppy self. But then again, who am I to complain, THAT WAS ME ten years ago. Bitch, you did not. Lmao.

Earlier this afternoon, it’s nighttime as I type this, I spoke with one of my co-workers. We haven’t known each other that very long. But it feels like we’ve known each other forever. She’s a Libra, just like me. She’s a 92-liner, too. Oh the joy! And she’s a psych major, I envy her. Sometimes I still wonder why I didn’t take that path in university. Accountancy was shit and as much as I loved my Sintang Paaralan, I just didn’t want to be there anymore for personal reasons. You’d know, if you ever met me in person, I’ll tell you. Wow, am I really that good at moving on? Anyway, being a communication major is and was a great experience. I hate competitions but I joined so many competitions in that field and lost some but you gotta win some, right? So I did. Thank you for the wonderful experiences, Piyu.

Whoa, I didn’t think I’d be writing this long. But I’m not done yet. So as I was saying, I spoke with her. She isn’t just a colleague to me now but more like a best friend. I never thought I would meet someone my age who spoke the same language as me before her. I’m a nerd. If that isn’t already obvious. And if being caught by our director talking about Sigmund Freud and Maria Montessori isn’t enough proof, then I guess let’s talk about global warming, greenhouse effect, and the melting polar caps. I like talking about ideas, phenomenas, and books. Crucify me! #ReasonsWhyImStillSingle

I’d been praying about something recently. And I only got that clarity when I finally spoke to her about it. We’ve been on this topic for about a month now. And occasionally we like to make fun of this topic. But I guess, when something isn’t really meant for you, God will make a way for it to not, you know, find its way to you. Thank you, LORD.

She told me so many things that made me realize that the person I like right now probably has his reasons why he’s not making the first move. And I understood that. She insisted that my feelings were valid and it was okay for me to feel those things—to think those things. But oh my goodness, I told her, this person is so lucky. Like I swear to God. Because I don’t really “like” guys that often. I don’t feel easily attracted to anyone. So it is by some miracle that I ended up liking this particular human sub-specie (bro, you should feel privileged, too bad you won’t be able to read this). Anyway, It was so clear to me. And I had to move on. Immediately. But what’s weird about it is that I just took a nap. And when I woke up from that nap this afternoon I felt nothing. Like that feeling expired almost immediately. It completely dissipated. So ridiculous, right? I’ve harbored feelings for this person for some time now (it hasn’t been that long to be honest) and I’m just over that feeling now. In an instant, too. I don’t know why. It’s probably one of my talents.

Wow, I really do move on fast. Don’t I? Am I cruel (to myself) that way?

So I had decided to busy myself with work. Plan about my graduate studies. And hope for the best. But for now, I’ll enjoy the rest of my leave from work. I sighed. Again. As I wrote that. My head hurts. I don’t know why. But it does. And I almost typed that in Korean.

On another topic, I’m thinking about compiling all of my literary works in some way. I also feel like commissioning my niece and my older brother to illustrate some of my poems for me. I’ve actually thought about this like a year ago amidst the pandemic. But the lazy ass in me just kept postponing. And I blame myself for procrastinating because all my “plans” haven’t come to fruition. But I’ll get my shit together. Eventually. I need to make this happen. At least before I expire. Lmao.

P.S. I’m tired. I actually stayed up late last night. Or should I say earlier this morning. I video called one of my ex-colleagues. It was also a really nice chat. But I’m not used to staying up late anymore. I’ve burned tons of midnight oil in university. NEVER AGAIN. I’m sleepy to be honest.

P.P.S. Tomorrow’s my elder sister’s birthday. I’m going to post ancient pictures of her on my stories.

[sistcr-of-gcmora]

TASK .001: HEADCANONS

OOC: Nebula is tough because her history is very scattered and difficult throughout her different comic appearances, and things differ a lot between the comics and the MCU. I’m doing my best to stay true to the biggest parts of her, but honestly I think a lot of my headcanon for her makes more sense than some of the stuff Marvel has written for her, so canon may be contradicted here!!

FAMILY

Nebula was no stranger to pain, no stranger to the way it felt to be ripped apart and shoved back together again. She had spent her whole life learning the way it felt to have a weapon slice into you, and then trying to forget it. Her childhood had been no end of creative torture and tests designed for her to fail.

Yes, pain was a familiar old friend.

Love, on the other hand....Love didn’t come to mind as easily as pain did. Love had come in fleeting moments and hurried whispers, a small kindness here and there but nothing more. Love had been something to fear, because love was the unexpected, love was the outlier in the equation that made up Nebula. She hadn’t known what it was like to give and receive love. Not until Gamora.

Their childhood, collectively, had been awful. Not just despite spending it together, but perhaps because of it. Gamora was the best, the strongest, the one to watch. The one to beat, if Thanos had it his way. The way he’d pitted them against each other their entire lives had been cruel, forcing them from would-be allies to enemies. Nebula had hated her sister because she was told to, because she was angry, and because hating Gamora was easier than hating her father.

She had wanted a sister, a confidant, a friend. She had thought she had it, for the briefest of moments after she beat all of Thanos’s other daughters the way Gamora had, when she and Gamora were finally equals. She had thought Thanos would welcome her to his side, invite her and Gamora to fight alongside him finally. But she had been wrong. To have two fighters was a liability, he said, as the world always sought to even out the scales. To have two lieutenants of equal strength would bring about downfall. His solution was to pit them against each other, to force them into a competition where only one could survive. And that one was always Gamora.

Despite this, Gamora had never been cruel, not in the way Nebula’s other sisters had been. Gamora had looked through her, too focused on surviving realize she was there, crying out, desperate for someone to understand. Nebula had often wished she was cruel instead. The sneers, the competition, the underhanded sabotage had always been a part of life with her sisters, and it had been perfectly clear from the beginning that they were not friends. They were not a family. They were competition, each desperate to win Thanos’s approval in whatever way possible.

It was that, or death.

By the time she reached adulthood, Nebula had long realized that she would never have an ally, that she was alone, and all she could do was keep fighting in hopes that one day she could be considered too fearsome to need to fight anymore, and the rest of the galaxy would leave her alone. It had been a nice dream, if not particularly practical.

FREEDOM

To compare the autonomy Nebula had experienced on her missions for Thanos with true freedom would be laughable. From the start it had been made clear that she was a weapon, a tool, to be used and then discarded at her father’s will. One step out of line on a mission and she was dead. She’d lived with that, known that, accepted that. It had molded her into the perfect soldier, doing only what her commanders told her to and nothing more.

But what does a soldier do when the fight is over?

For Nebula, the days after her escape from Thanos, from Ronan, from her miserable life aboard that hell-ship....they were difficult. She had no routine, she had no orders. She only had a goal, and a goal was not the same thing as direction.

She knew what she wanted--to kill Thanos--and she even knew how she planned to do it--buy a ship and use it to kill Thanos--but she had no references in her life experience for how exactly to complete those tasks without someone behind her telling her that she had to. It took her days, weeks, what would be nearly an entire moon cycle on Sakaar, to gather herself and come up with a plan more detailed than ‘find Thanos and kill him.’

It felt....liberating, in a way, to have created something on her own, even if it was only more death and destruction. It was her idea, her plan, her end-goal. She had promised herself she would see it through, and she hadn’t cared if she died in the process. She would have, after all, gone out doing the one thing she’d ever truly wanted to do.

SELF

There’s a certain amount of self-loathing one can reasonably expect from a girl raised for war, who was shoved headfirst into the fight and told to run when she’d barely yet mastered how to walk. Gamora had worn it well, anger hardening her soft edges and persistence darkening her eyes. Nebula had envied her for her strength. The only thing beautiful about her own pain was the way the metal of her arm reflected the colors of the sunset on the nights she was allowed off the ship.

At first, death had turned her stomach, causing pain had made her sick. She’d silently begged anyone out there to rescue her so she never had to see another drop of blood--red, blue, green, or brown--ever again. A savior never came, and her disgust turned to intrigue, turned to interest, turned to pleasure. Soon she was a killing machine--and sooner than that she was just a machine.

Her arm was the first thing to go, but not all at once. Finger by finger, entire hand, elbow, shoulder. Removed with spite--no, with glee. She was being punished for failure, for weakness. For losing. But it wasn’t always loss that drove the enhancements. The torture. For Thanos, weakness was anything soft, anything not driven by the fight.

So Nebula became hard as stone.

Her body did not belong to her, and soon her brain did not either, when her father pulled it from her skull and replaced it with something less volatile, with something easier to control. She was just a weapon, made more from metal and circuitry than from flesh and blood. At what point did a person stop being a person? At point did they become something else than what they were before?

The enhancements were crude--technologically advanced machinery that on Terra, or even in space 20 years earlier would have been cutting edge--attached to her body in ways that Thanos and his enforcers had known would hurt the most. The machinery was designed to remind her of her failings, body parts going numb and wiring shorting at the least convenient of moments. It was an everlasting torture simply continuing to survive.

Long before setting off on her mission to kill Thanos, Nebula had stopped thinking of herself as a real being. She was the mission, created to complete a goal. Her body no longer belonged to her, and her brain had been crafted at the hands of someone else. She’d come to terms with this, accepted it, stopped thinking of it. Terra has changed all of that. Terra is filled with squishy beings who fear her not for her startling reputation, but for her cybernetic eye and bright skin. Terra is filled with beings who judge based on appearance, and Nebula has never hated a place more than she hates Terra.

She’s worked her entire to become more than what they made her, to prove that she is a warrior despite her losses, that she is someone to avoid. And now she’s gotten every reaction she’s ever wanted. And it’s all thanks to a body that doesn’t even belong to her.

[iknockfashion]

Is The Fashion World Disillusioned With Social Media?

“A life built absolutely on getting ‘likes’ can be of no good.”

With the advent of digitalization, social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter offered a freeway for the public to express their thoughts and feelings about things they encounter in life. Gradually, the youth became handy to these social media platforms and widened the culture of keeping up with the latest fashion trends, memes, challenges, and whatnot. Some of these challenges of the fashion industry in India are fun; recreating a celebrity look while others can be extremely meaningless. There won’t be any wrong in saying that peer pressure and memes have allowed such social challenges to disseminating quickly through social media channels. Now and then, I see famous social media influencers like “Lilly Singh” or numerous fashion stylists in India coming upfront on Instagram announcing that they’re taking a “social media detox.” The fashion industry in India or across the world is continuously evolving, and this constant rush of keeping up with the new content or the idea of creating new content can be extremely toxic on social media. Not everyone is willing to take time off of social media, but as one falls into too many late-night Instagram whirlwind or stresses about lack of likes, more and more people are starting to understand the concept of social media detox. In this blog, I Knock Fashion looks forward to giving you a brief about how social media is turning toxic for the fashion people as well as the rest of the world.

Why Are Fashion Influencers “Rolling” Into Depression And Anxiety?

Why Are Fashion Influencers “Rolling” Into Depression And Anxiety?

The advent of the digital world led to numerous opportunities for the world, no matter where on the globe you are, you can influence people from all across the universe. Like the coin has its two sides in the same way every innovation and technology does, although digitization has created several employment opportunities in the country, for the fashion industry in India it has severely increased the competition. Influencers today are reviewing and photographing each item with winning simplicity. It’s not just about giving reviews on a product, but they also have the pressure of pursuing it in a way that their photo style is imitated and virals all over the digital world. There’s this constant thirst for getting the most likes and followers on their social media accounts. There’s a thin line between staying fit and starving yourself for that hourglass body, and in this blind hunger of completing many Instagram #challenge fashion and beauty influencers end up taking numerous pills which later cause them depression and anxiety.

Social Media- Fashion’s Friend Or Foe?

Social Media- Fashion’s Friend Or Foe?

In the past few years, numerous influencers from the fashion industry in India have backed off from social media claiming ‘it’s not real life’! It’s not true that the fashion industry in India has witnessed someone go through an emotional breakdown for the first time, it’s been happening since the advent of social media. Looking at young, privileged digital influencers and fashion stylists in India, identifying with the symptoms of anxiety and depression has raised the question in the country that can social media devastatingly harm mental health?

On social media anxiety, the leading psychologist stated, that this constant thought of getting most likes have transformed influencers to become self-obsessed, they are always finding ways to become the most famous on the social media platforms. This blind hunger for followers, is unavoidable among the fashion influencers and fashion stylists in India, especially with young people who don’t have a clear sense of identity.

Social media has developed a virtual culture in which, from fashion stylists in India, models to influencers; have all created a surreal world. This is further leading to fading away from their characteristics, pressurizing them to adopt and adapt features of idolized and famous personalities on social media.

The Pressure For Likes On Social Media

The Pressure For Likes On Social Media

Being a fashion influencer or fashion stylist in India, it doesn’t take long before they start feeling pressured to get most likes. Although social media has made branding and marketing easier for the fashion world, it also creates problems when used to determine self-worth. These social media platforms are fun to explore, you post a picture on it, within minutes you are discovered by new people. As soon as influencers, fashion models, and fashion stylists in India discovered these social media platforms they started documenting every moment of their life online as if to prove they existed.

It was soon that an application which was created to express yourself to friends and family or network with new people became something that influencers, models, and fashion stylist in India used to measure their self-worth. It creates a kind of obsession in people’s minds, instead of living in the moment they are posting every day, sometimes multiple times in a day, and then judge themselves based on how many people “liked” it, the craving and desire for getting likes and views expanses to such limits that the influencers easily spend money on buying fake followers and likes. The young influencers, models, and fashion stylists in India look for attention from people on social media instead of focusing on their real connections.

In no time, these influencers, models, and fashion stylists in India become “Instagram Addicts”! They start developing this obsession to major in communication in a fashion that focuses mostly on digital media. The young influencers even indulge themselves in conducting these social media polls, Q/A and quizzes, to stay connected with their followers. Through social media there are connections are built, collaborations take place, and then obsession over clicking unique photographs and out of the box content for social media starts. Thus, social media ends up becoming their whole life.

Social Media Ends Up Becoming Their Entire Life!

Social Media Ends Up Becoming Their Entire Life!

If one does not use social media responsibly, it can distract one from major hobbies, relationships, and life. It all starts with the added involvement on Instagram or other social media platforms giving pressure for likes and acceptance of higher importance. Spending way too much time and energy focusing on how many people liked your pictures to determine if you are worthy or not is a sign of self-doubt which further leads to anxiety. The fashion models, influencers, and fashion stylists in India need to reach a point where they are comfortable enough with themselves and not search for affirmation and acceptance online.

It won’t be wrong to say that this thirst of likes is not just limited to the fashion world people, young people naturally feels pressurized to fit in and be well-liked by their peers and classmates, and social media intensifies that. It develops this thought in your mind where this single button makes you feel happy or sad, it shows you exactly how many people are interested in you and what you’re doing. The less likes a picture gets, the worse they feel about themselves.

On Social Media, Nothing Is Ever Simple

Teenagers who spend more than 5 hours on social media globally show symptoms of depression

Social media can leave you with a stomach full of envy and self-doubt that affects your self-esteem and sense of stability. A study examined how aspirational posts affect social media users. It’s not only affecting the influencers but also the viewers, as the profiles of fictional people who post-life highlights receive numerous likes and comments, and for a viewer who’s spending his day scrolling through others’ vacation pictures, this can be toxic and depressing. The people who will watch these highlight-heavy profiles will be left feeling worse behind, and on the Internet, it’s the actual FOMO(feeling of missing out) that hurts people. This social comparison can affect us in ways we don’t even realize and for longer than we realize, it can create a sense of strong jealousy among teenagers. The influencers showcasing their skills in communication in fashion is acceptable and good but the digital depiction of leisure, luxury, fitness, and travel can make their followers feel inferior.

Feedback’s Can Turn Out To Be Painful At Times

Ways To Protect Your Mental Health On Social Media

All of us are aware of the fact that being a social media influencer comes with a constant bombardment of feedback, both positive and ruthlessly negative. The type of comments one receives is brutal and it takes a lot of courage for a person to be able to weather that sort of environment. Today the internet is accessed by every other person and not everyone is socially responsible, people make nasty comments, and this makes it even more crystal clear why social media is not a safe place for everybody, but some end up dealing with the negativity by adopting a real tough shell. The influencers need to protect themselves emotionally, and they can do so by setting clear boundaries about what they are and aren’t willing to talk about with their followers, you don’t have to always share everything, if you’re a fashion influencer you can just pursue communication in fashion, and so for beauty.

I Knock Fashion Desk (Conclusion)

Fashion Influencer

A fashion influencer once stated that creating content for her blog took over life, she was in this loop of buying and returning clothes to photograph herself in when she went out to eat, she won’t look out for a place with the best food instead preferred a photogenic restaurant. Suddenly she realized that every aspect of her life had a commercial purpose.

This story is something to take a note Is The Fashion World Disillusioned With Social Media?

from, this depicts how social media can lead to a profound effect on your mental well-being. It creates a lot of isolation, jealousy, loneliness, selfishness, and anxiety. It’s time that we accept it’s all filters in there, social media is nothing but a display of your best life. The ‘woke up like this’, is not so true, and it’s time we embrace our natural beauty instead of constantly negatively comparing ourselves to others.

For further fashion and beauty, related updates stay tuned with I Knock Fashion

[sytycdfeelz]

S14 // Top 10 Pt 2

Opening number -- I am HERE for this disco number! It’s reminiscent of the SYTYCD glory days of the past, and I couldn’t be more excited about it. Using all parts of the stage? YES. Ridiculous costumes that prevent you from really identifying anyone properly? YES. Audience participation with the flashy light things? YES. I love it all, and I’m practically giddy about it.

As excited as I am for the actual dancing, I’m maybe even more excited for the intro packages and learning all about this year’s contestants! Also, can we talk about that new intro package? LOVED IT. 

Comfort and Mark, Jazz (Ray Leeper) -- First and foremost, Comfort has improved by leaps and bounds since her season. I realize it was a very long time ago, but I’m still beyond impressed. Their chemistry was palpable, and I really liked the vibes of the whole piece. It was very impressive to see Mark do so well in a more focused and serious piece. He’s an incredible dancer, and this piece really showed him off. I wanted the music to be different...too much reverb for my liking, but other than that, I thought it was great.

Koine solo -- I thought it was impressive dancing, but it honestly left me a little confused. Not sure if it really showed us who she is. 

Logan solo -- Logan is impressive beyond his years. There was some seriously incredible stuff in there, and he has some crazy moves that I’ve never seen. 

Gaby and Lex, Argentine Tango (Miriam and Leonardo) --  I was pretty indifferent about this performance, and I’m not sure why. There was definitely some overdramatic face pulling in there (sorry, Lex), and Lex spent some time looking down at his feet. I will say, there were some very intricate flick series and lifts in there that they pulled off remarkably well. I agreed with Mary that there could have been a bit more heat / chemistry, but it wasn’t too bad.

Taylor solo --  It may be her height, but damn her lines go on for days! There’s an angelic quality to her movement that is so lovely to watch. Big fan!

Jenna and Kiki, Hip Hop (Luther Brown) -- I don’t really know what to say about this one. I definitely try to keep this primarily a positive blog, but I didn’t love this piece. There were some good moments, including some great synchronicity in the middle, but I found it a little boring overall. They got a lot of praise, but I’m not sure I was on the same with that.

Kaylee solo -- I really love her style and want her to have a Sonya Tayeh 

Paul and Sydney, Contemporary (Jaci Royal) -- There’s something about having a good song that really pulls a routine together and brings out the story. That was a perfect song and a beautifully choreographed routine to go with it. Sydney really impressed me with her lines, control and effortless quality of movement. I do think she could work a little more on her acting / facial expressions, but overall it was great. Also, Paul was absolutely FABULOUS, and I forgot just how much I missed him.

Robert solo -- He’s great, and I just love his whole aura. I would have liked a little more more use of the whole stage, but overall it was good.

Dassy solo -- Anyone else want to see Dassy and Jaja dance together? Because I DO! She’s a great animator, and I loved that solo.

Allison and Logan, Jazz (Brian Friedman) -- Remember when Brian Friedman choreographed for Britney Spears? Because that could have been a Britney video or a concert number, and I loved it. It’s hard to pull focus when you’re dancing with Allison, but he managed to shine so brightly in that piece. His jumps and leaps were out of this world, and he truly embraced the character. I thought this was a really fun piece, and I loved it!

I totally forgot about Blessing and her step team until right now (sorry, Blessing!!!) but I’m so glad Nigel put them on the show. Their performance was fantastic and so powerful. I love that there were women of all shapes and sizes participating and having a voice. And, the all-stars joining in was a nice touch. Paul and Marko were surprising good, and Jasmine and Comfort crushed it!

Lex solo -- This kid is straight up incredible, and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop being impressed by his solos. UNREAL. 

Cyrus and Kaylee, Hip Hop (Pharside and Phoenix) -- I always love Pharside and Phoenix routines, and this one didn’t disappoint. This piece was perfectly suited for Kaylee’s quirky personality and unique quality of movement. The lift where she held herself on Cyrus’ back was wild! The absolute strength needed for that is insane, and I felt like she held herself there forever! Great synchronicity from them as well...you can tell they’re on the same page.

Robert and Taylor, Broadway (Al Blackstone) -- I’d be lying if I said I didn’t envy Taylor’s eyebrows. They’re perfection, and I want them. This style suits both of these dancers so well. The whole thing was absolutely swoon-worthy. It was magical all-around, and their chemistry was off the charts. Legs for days from Taylor, but she backed it up with superb acting as well. I have no idea how she did some of those jumps in heels, but it was smooth and cool and perfect. Couple to beat at this point in the competition, if you ask me...and Nigel. 

Sydney solo -- Ballroom solos can be rough, but I thought that was pretty good. She used the stage well and showed off some spins and skills. 

Marko and Koine, African Jazz (Sean Cheeseman) -- This may have been my favorite choreography from Sean ever on the show. It showed off technical skill, strength, partnership and chemistry. These two work together SO well. It showed last week, and it just continued this week. Aside from just chemistry, there is a respect there that you can feel through their dancing. Also, I SHIP IT. #sorrynotsorry They were both excellent, and I loved this piece. Also, Cat in the headdress = her old antics, and I am here for it!

Mark solo -- I would have liked to seen more dancing throughout this, but he really brought it home at the end. 

Jasmine and Robert, Contemporary (Stacey Tookey) -- Similar to how it is with Allison, it’s usually really hard to not watch Jasmine, but Robert really dazzled in that piece. I was so impressed with his quality of movement, and Stacey didn’t hold back on any of her token lifts. I thought Nigel’s critique was pretty harsh, because I felt the emotion from Robert at every turn. I thought the partnership was strong, and I liked the piece a lot. 

Kiki solo -- Gotta hand it to the guy, that was a great ballroom solo. 

Dassy and Fikshun, Bollywood (Nakul) -- I thought this was a really fun piece from Nakul! There was some great energy from both Dassy and Fiksun, and I liked how much fun they were clearly having. Also, the sparkle mania costumes were FAB. There was a little fall / bobble, but they moved on from it and didn’t miss a beat. This is a great partnership, and I think they’ll be able to do a lot of things well. 

Bottom 3: Logan, Sydney and Robert...this is rough because they’re all good. And maybe more importantly, their all-stars are all SO good. I don’t want to lose any of them. 

Judge’s choice: Robert is going home. Judges were not unanimous on this, and I have to wonder who wanted him to go. Honestly, there are plenty of Utah ballroom dancer girls, but Robert is truly unique and he could have really benefitted from this show. UGH. And we have to lose Jasmine??? BLAH.

Welp, it was always going to be tough with only Top 10 dancers, and it’s only going to get worse. No one was bad tonight, and I have no idea who will be in the bottom next week. Yeesh. 

Back later with my “best of” list -- might have to watch it again to make those choices though!

What did y’all think?

[vickyelizabethgalan]

Top 5 Disney Villains

Hey everyone!

So, aside from being a lover of movies, I’m completely obsessed with Disney as well. I could literally talk about the subject for hours– and there is a lot of material to discuss. I figured today I would talk about a controversial topic among many Disney fans: the best Disney villain. I’ve subconsciously placed these villains from least to most evil on this personal list.  

Wicked Witch/Queen Grimhilde (Snow White and the Seven Dwarves): The OG bad guy from the first feature length animated movie, the Evil Queen always gave me the creeps. Her transformation scene is legendary and Lucille La Verne’s voice change when the character turns into the old hag is chilling. The reason I put her as first on my list is because of the complexity I find in this character. What freaks me out most about the Evil Queen are her delusions of vanity that are easily demonstrated through the lengths she goes through to destroy her foe. Filled with hatred upon seeing that Snow White has taken away her title of “fairest in the land”, the Queen is willing to take away what she holds most prized, her beauty, to bring about Snow White’s death. So, in wanting to regain her place as the fairest, she goes out of the way to show her ugly, true colors. This movie brings about the realization that: to see competition gone, many people would do the same. The Queen is a cautionary tale about egotism and hate. 

Wicked Stepmother/Lady Tremaine (Cinderella): Probably the villain I hate the most, this woman basically enslaves young Ella, changes her name to a derogatory Cinder-ella and makes her life a general hell-hole. She wants nothing more than for her own daughters to succeed, become rich, and for one– or both, seeing as she’s not above that– of them to marry the Prince. To the Stepmother, Cinderella is in the way, probably because she recognizes the pure girl’s potential, which makes her competition for the woman’s snooty daughters. Then again, anything with a pulse could be competition for the two stepsisters, and stand a much higher chance than them, too. There’s a part of Lady Tremaine that knows this, and it can be argued that her absolute hate for Ella is pure, green-colored envy rooted in her own massive insecurity over her own daughters. Even when she speaks, Eleanor Audley magnificently sneers her way through the role and makes every thing about the abusive and wicked character despicable. 

Gaston (Beauty & the Beast): “Nooooo oneeeeee…freaks me out like Gaston, represents toxic masculinity like Gaston”. Gaston is an extremely scary guy and his power within the town is, to me, what makes him most dangerous. Here we have this conceited, notorious hunter who is worshipped by the entire village, and he won’t stop harassing Belle, the one character who remains indifferent to his “charm”. Because he’s seen as such an idol by the people, Belle is the one shamed for not gratifying his advances. Knowing this, Belle still speaks to Gaston the way she does, making her an even more brave and admirable character in my eyes. 

Gaston was originally based off of screenwriter Linda Woolverton’s ex-boyfriend. Narcissism, misogynistic comments, a possessive attitude, Woolverton spared no ‘douchey’ details, creating Gaston with nasty traits that are sadly perceived by townspeople as burly appeal. The scariest thing about Gaston is the relatability factor. Everyone has met some “Gaston” in their life, everyone has had to deal with that overbearing tough guy who makes you feel uncomfortable, who makes you feel like you “owe” them something. Gaston is a representation of that domineering, macho terrorist that turns things against you, making him the unfortunately-relatable villain we’ve all personally faced.

Man (Bambi): We have now reached a persona many consider to be the worst Disney villain. So bad he doesn’t even have a name, the Disney baddie is MAN. Unseen and described as merciless and ruthless, this classified poacher– since it is illegal to shoot doves or fawns in many parts of the United States– is not only responsible for the death of Bambi’s mom (often referred as the saddest Disney moment, competing with Mufasa’s death) but also for killing many other deer and starting a forest fire which destroys a lot of the area. The reason many people consider Man to be so evil is because of the depth that is Man representing us and the dangers we bring to nature and the ecosystem. We are our own villain in this case, striking fear into many innocent creatures. We watch Bambi and grow to love the purity of this white-tailed deer and how he lives. The movie allows us to feel close to the young Prince before his world is destroyed, so we can empathize with animals and the situation MAN(kind) is responsible for.

Frollo (Hunchback of Notre Dame): We have gotten to the Disney villain I consider most evil. Maybe you don’t find him so scary or impressionable, compared to other villains with beadier eyes and spookier smirks, but I’ll tell you why Judge Claude Frollo is, by far, the most evil. This is a man who, in the original story by Victor Hugo, is a religious man. Frollo threatens murder and rape, kills an innocent gypsy woman and basically enslaves Quasimodo, making him the bell ringer of Notre Dame for the entirety of his life. 

Now, we aren’t talking about the original version, but the Disney version didn’t help Frollo look any better. 

In an attempt to avoid a negative reaction from the religious community, Disney made Frollo a judge. This was not a much better decision because, if anything, it only gave light to a fear: no matter what role you assign him, Frollo is a hypocrite. In other villain’s cases, they are the way they are due to their position; in Frollo’s case, his evil stems purely from his own self. He is a murderous, conniving hypocrite whether you paint him as a clergyman, a judge, a street beggar, a librarian. Before the public, Frollo feigns a life of morality and religious zealous, since he is supposed to be the “trusty” figure people confide in, whether a priest or judge. Behind the scenes, he actually exhibits an extreme hate for a minority, referring to them as ants who need to be exterminated! This is a man you would go before to confess a sin or a crime, to let him judge your life– and here he is is dreaming of murder and threatening to rape Esmeralda and/or burn her at the stake. Either way you spin him, this is a very confused, malicious man who does not deserve to be in either position, religious or legal. This is why, to me, he is the worst of the Disney baddies.

There you have it! My Top 5 Disney villains. Let me know which villain(s) you deem baddest! And let me know if you’d love for me to make another Disney list! Thanks for reading!

[marcusssanderson]

50 Believe in Yourself Quotes and Sayings Celebrating Confidence

These “believe in yourself quotes” collection will help you find the confidence to overcome obstacles and get closer to success.

One of the most important factors to achieving something significant is self-belief. Without believing in yourself, there’s not a lot that can help you reach your goals and dreams.

If you believe in yourself and your abilities, you’ll have the confidence to overcome any obstacles that come your way. You’ll be one step closer to winning and succeeding.

By believe that you can do it, you inspire yourself to take action. Creating that positive attitude allows you to be motivated to work toward your goals. 

The easiest way to never reach your goals is to be negative and envision the worst scenario. You need positive attitude to succeed. Therefore, you should literally see yourself arriving at your desired finish line.

Although your brain will always play against you, you can put yourself on the track to success by believing in yourself and your goals. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.

Below you’ll find our collection of inspirational, wise, and powerful believe in yourself quotes, believe in yourself sayings, and believe in yourself proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

Believe in yourself quotes and sayings celebrating confidence

1.) “Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” – Golda Meir

2.) “You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it.” – Dr. Robert Anthony

3.) “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

4.) “Wouldn’t it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out.” – Alan Cohen

5.) “Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” –  Christopher Robin

6.) “If you’re presenting yourself with confidence, you can pull off pretty much anything.” – Katy Perry

7.) “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

8.) “Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else.” – Nathaniel Branden

9.) “To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.”  – Muhammad Ali

10.) “Create the highest grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.”  – Oprah Winfrey

Believe in yourself quotes to help get rid of your fears and self-doubt

11.) “Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going.”  – Chantal Sutherland

12.) “To move ahead you need to believe in yourself, have conviction in your beliefs and the confidence to execute those beliefs.”  – Adlin Sinclair

13.) “Believe in yourself, push your limits, experience life, conquer your goals and be happy.”  – Joel Brown

14.) “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

15.) “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

16.) “Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard, and there is nothing you cannot accomplish.” – Brad Henry

17.) “Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it.” – Diane Sawyer

18.) “If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.” – Michael Bassey Johnson

19.) “You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it’s enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up.” – Richelle E. Goodrich

20.) “Don’t let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don’t like them.” – Stacy London

Believe in yourself quotes and sayings that will help change your life

21.) “Don’t doubt yourself, that’s what haters are for.”― Turcois Ominek

22.) “I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.” – George S. Patton

23.) “Faithless to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

24.) “If you believe very strongly in something, stand up and fight for it.”  – Roy T. Bennett

25.) “Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution.”  – David J. Schwartz

26.) “If you can’t believe in miracles, then believe in yourself. When you want something bad enough, let that drive push you to make it happen. Sometimes you’ll run into brick walls that are put there to test you. Find a way around them and stay focused on your dream. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”  – Isabel Lopez

27.) “When they judge you, yawn. When they misunderstand you, smile. When they underestimate you, laugh. When they condemn you, ignore. When they envy you, rejoice. When they oppose you, prevail.”  – Matshona Dhliwayo

28.) “They will always tell you that you can’t do what you want to do, but you can do what you want to do. You just have to believe in yourself. The system is to bring you down, but you can rise up.”  – Bob Marley

29.) “Those people who have the greatest success first needed to believe in what they have to offer the world. You need to trust that your unique contribution is worthwhile.” – Grant Andrews

30.) “Self-confidence and a belief in yourself is a must. To instill confidence in others, you first must have confidence in yourself.” –  Byron Pulsifer

Believe in yourself quotes to help open up endless possibilities in your life

31.) “A firm belief in yourself is all that is needed to alter your life. No one except you alone can change your life.” – M. K. Soni

32.) “What matters is not the idea a man holds, but the depth at which he holds it.” – Ezra Pound

33.) “Believe deep down in your heart that you’re destined to do great things.” – Joe Paterno

34.) “Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” – Christian Larson

35.) “There has never been another you. With no effort on your part you were born to be something very special and set apart. What you are going to do in appreciation of that gift is a decision only you can make.” – Dan Zadra

36.) “Your beliefs about yourself often translate into your convictions about yourself. It is difficult to achieve what you believe is beyond your power.” – Eugene C. Onyibo

37.) “If you want to change the way you feel about yourself, first you have to change the way you think about yourself.” – Gavin Bird

38.) “Passion is the overwhelming feeling, the burning desire, the drive that ultimately creates change. It is the total belief in yourself and your abilities that nothing can stop you.” – Diane Matyas

39.) “Always speak well of yourself and consistently visualize your life working out as you want it.” – Andrew Matthews

40.) “The key to achieving success is believing in yourself and having the strength and motivation to persevere.” – Jane John-Nwankwo

Believe in yourself quotes to help you take action towards your goals

41.) “Where you are is a result of who you were, but where you go depends entirely on who you choose to be.” – Hal Elrod

42.) “Cultivate an optimistic mind, use your imagination, always consider alternatives, and dare to believe that you can make possible what other think is impossible.” – Rodolfo Costa

43.) “Don’t compare yourself with anyone else in the world. If you do so you are insulting yourself.”-  Bill Gates

44.) “A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.” – Vince Lombardi

45.) “Without high levels of self-esteem, you are unlikely to see yourself as being worthy of success or happiness, and as a result will never truly try your hardest to achieve it. It will also give you the courage to keep going when things get tough, and believe in yourself when others say you will never accomplish something.” – Lucas Cunningham

46.) “Having the confidence to believe in yourself and your abilities will go a long way in creating your successes and improving your view of yourself.” – Raymona Brown

47.) “If you want your life to be fulfilling, you have to believe in yourself. Put yourself out there and be thrilling, never be someone else.” – Julie Hebert

48.) “It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are, so when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be, because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you. Keep believing in yourself.” – Unknown

49.) “Self-confidence is the fountainhead of everything else in your life. You draw from it to achieve and build the other areas of your life.” – Bill Andrews

50.) “The most important thing is God’s blessing and if you believe in God and you believe in yourself, you have nothing to worry about.” – Mohamed Al-Fayed

Did you enjoy these believe in yourself quotes?

Your brain will always play against you, leading you to experience procrastination, self-doubt, anxiety, negative thinking and so on. But for you to succeed in whatever you do, you need to have a positive attitude.

Self-belief allows you to have the confidence to overcome obstacles and get closer to success. Hopefully, the above quotes will inspire you to believe in yourself, regardless of circumstances.

Did you enjoy these believe in yourself quotes? Which of the quotes resonated with you best? Let us know in the comment section below.

The post 50 Believe in Yourself Quotes and Sayings Celebrating Confidence appeared first on Everyday Power.

[strengthscopecom]

Reduce your stress by doing nothing

It seems these days we’re all always busy doing something. And showing others what we’re doing via social media is pretty much the norm for most people although there’s a correlation there with age of course. And if you’re into your social media, or even if you’re into your social, you’re probably going to be hit most days with feelings of envy (for where your friends or some random celebrities are on holiday right now) or guilt (because of the value-add activities that everyone else seems to be engaged in) or an overwhelming desire to take action (to make sure you’re keeping up with the Joneses, or the bots, or whatever it is that’s putting up these social media posts that are making you feel like this).

So is this where we’ve arrived? Everything quantified, measured, assessed in terms of likes, followers, shares, retweets, relative value of this activity over that, size of cake baked, complexity of dish cooked, number of steps taken, distance run, side hustles started, exoticism of holiday destinations booked? Exhausting, right? Happy with that? No? Ok, then read on.

So back to where we’ve got to with everything becoming commoditised, gamified and quite frankly de-funned because for many of us, the management of our online and offline personas means that we’re not living in the now and appreciating what’s around us in the moment. In our defence, there are good social psychological reasons, both for the development of the apps and platforms where we now spend so much time and also for our social attitudes and behaviour, which even before social media, were being driven in largely similar ways. We are after all social animals and being social animals, we routinely judge ourselves by comparison with others.

So we end up weighing up our own self-worth and value in the world by comparing with relevant reference points in our social network or in the wider social world. This can lead to a positive striving towards self-improvement, where we weigh up the worthy deeds of others and decide that we want to do something positive in the world too. But given the omnipresence of social media today (if you let it be omnipresent that is), this can all too easily lead to feelings of lowered self-esteem as you realise that you can never be that worthy, that tall, that thin, that rich or that famous.

I’ve podcasted before on the topic of going slow – that was at Season 1, Episode 10. Also, there’s a load about social comparison at Season 3 Episode 2 when I podcasted on ‘comparison being the thief of happiness’. There’s some more ideas in both of those casts, but today I want to focus more on us valuing ‘doing nothing’ as a thing in itself. Not something that would be significant enough to social post or even tell anyone about, but something rewarding just because it reminds you of being you, or reminds you of being a child, free of responsibilities or worries, or just because it’s fun.

My story on this, my epiphany really, came on a Boxing Day a few years back. It had been a crap year, my Mum had died and that had been a real emotional rollercoaster for everyone in my family, including me. And we’d had our first Christmas without Mum, which was so tough – everyone who’s lost someone close to them talks about the importance of that first year and just making it through all the ‘events’ of the year…birthdays, special days, holidays, Christmas as well…those times that you would have spent with that person who’s now gone. And the advice is just to go through the motions almost because you need to redefine your life without that person in it and experience that for the first time, because once you’ve toughed through it once, you’ll never have to do it for the first time again. Course, you don’t fully appreciate all of that at the time and there I was, having lost Mum in the summer and having just had Christmas day with everyone else in the family.

On Boxing Day, that oh so in between day of the year, I was with my family at home – just me and my family. And I decided to have a go at the Christmas present that I’d asked for, which was architectural Lego of the Fallingwater house by Frank Lloyd Wright, my favourite house in the world. Google it if you don’t know it, it’s amazing. So I sat and I built my Lego Fallingwater for about 3 hours straight, really focused on each brick coming together, visualising the actual building but mainly just enjoying the very very tactile, immediate process of putting together a Lego construction.

Those guys have really nailed in terms of physical experiences. And I could feel emotional weight leaving me. And I just felt connected with kid me. And adult me actually. And just enjoying that time, mainly on my own, from time to time someone would come in and see how I was getting on, but mainly it was just me, in the quiet, focused on what I was doing. Time flew by and stood still and in the end I was finished. Which was actually quite a sad moment, because I’d come to the end of that wonderful, elevating, lightening process. But I remember the experience overall so vividly and also as such a dreamlike state because I was in flow and totally connected to what I was doing. And that thing I was doing had no purpose, no real reason, it was just for pleasure, for enjoyment.

The Lego model is still sat on one of my bookshelves in the living room, along with a few other architectural Lego buildings that I made in the years after but nothing came close to that first Fallingwater experience. Those Lego buildings remind me to sometimes just go out and play basketball with my son. Or go for a run without my phone or my Fitbit. Or have a bath and fall asleep in it. Or climb a tree and shout. Or sing loudly as if no one can hear. Or go and sit in the sun and do nothing. And not photograph any of it to ‘capture the moment’ or to put it up on social media later.

So I don’t really have any tips or hints for you today, other than to remember sometimes to just have fun, be a kid from time to time, be free from competition and commoditisation of experience and measuring the value of everything that you do and the feelings of pressure that can bring and just do nothing, be free.

Find a fun thing to do, a nothing thing to do, every day, or at least once this week, and see what that simple pleasure brings you.

Did you know this blog is also available as a podcast along with some other incredible content? Check it out on iTunes, Spotify, Acast.

The post Reduce your stress by doing nothing appeared first on Strengthscope.

source https://www.strengthscope.com/reduce-your-stress-by-doing-nothing/

[magneticmaguk]

Funkmaster Flex Vs. DJ Clue is the DJ Battle the Culture Needs

Hot 97 or Power 105.1? Which seminal hip-hop/R&B New York radio station you pledge allegiance to is bound to provoke heated debates.

DJ Funkmaster Flex and DJ Clue—the de-facto voices of Hot 97 and Power 105.1 FM respectively—have recently turned up the heat on their long-standing feud over who is the number one DJ in New York, period. But this time, the fight is not just for radio supremacy. On March 8th, Bronx-bred super-producer Swizz Beatz stoked the flames for a DJ battle between Flex and Clue to settle their longstanding rivalry for once and for all.

Funkmaster Flex and DJ Clue have been rivals on the radio, on the mixtape circuit, and in nightclubs. They both are icons for DJ culture, which is why Hot 97 and Power 105.1 have elevated them as their primetime DJ talent. Their rivalry has escalated over the years, and the battle proposed by Swizz could finally be their tipping point. Whether or not Flex and Clue actually decide to go into combat, it is no doubt as important as previous face-offs between Nas vs. Jay Z, Kanye West vs. 50 Cent, or Kendrick vs. Drake. Flex and Clue have their own strengths and weaknesses as hip-hop DJs, and since there aren't any set terms for this type of DJ battle—opponents are judged on everything from their technical skills to their showmanship appeal—it's impossible to predict who would win. Still, it's a given that DJs are competitive, and a battle could raise the bar for the art of DJing.

On that night in March, while at a private dinner inside of what looks like a fancy car dealership, Swizz put Clue on the spot in an Instagram video, pressuring him to battle Flex and "earn that crown back." Also present were rapper Fabolous, A&R/photographer Lenny Santiago, and singer/producer Ryan Leslie, who stirred the pot by laughing at Swizz's comments. "Flex is gonna try to finish you," said Swizz. Cue Flex writing in the comments section: "He don't want none of me on that Fucking set BRUH!" Warning shots fired?

DJ Clue and Funkmaster Flex hosting the 2014 McDonald's Flavor Battle (Photo by Patrick Neree)

Since then, Flex and Swizz have repeatedly tried to bait Clue, both posting Instagram clips of Flex scratching the "earn that crown back" taunt over the instrumental to Biggie's "Who Shot Ya?", as if to suggest that he's scared. Yet Clue, the self-proclaimed "Michael Jordan of Mixtapes," maintained a zen master's poise; he assured fans on Instagram last month that he has exclusives that can outshine Flex's turntable skills. (Flex, Swizz, and Clue did not return THUMP's multiple requests for comment.)

A week before Swizz put Clue on the spot, Swizzy had engaged in a high-profile beat battle against Just Blaze at an undisclosed location in NYC, and arguably won by playing an unreleased Jay Z, Jadakiss, Nas, DMX collaboration in a "drop the mic" moment. Meanwhile, apparently Pharrell and Timbaland are talking about going at it in their own beat battle.

For his match with Clue, Flex has suggested playing exclusive for exclusive, DJ skills for DJ skills. Both artists have an impressive discography of songs, mixtapes, and studio albums spanning generations of hip-hop and R&B. Clue has a nice rep merging gritty rappers with beloved pop stars; he produced Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together" (Remix) featuring Jadakiss and Styles P. Flex has a slight edge with reggae and dancehall collaborations, so the idea of Flex playing dub plates roasting Clue are probable.

According to a recent post on a fan's Instagram, Clue has denounced back-spinning songs as irrelevant to this brewing battle. Yet, there is no denying that two turntables and a mixer are the tools of the trade, and rewinding a record manually or scratching samples lies at the core of hip-hop. Taking two songs and looping the instrumental break to hype up the party is the great invention by hip-hop's founding fathers Kool Herc, Grandmaster Flash, and Afrika Bambaataa, who built the foundation for club DJs.

When radio DJs go at it, they are empowered by the almighty microphone to strike down with furious anger from the mountaintops.

Finalists in the Disco Mix Club (DMC) World Championship are given six minutes to showcase their talent, no sound effects. Clue and Flex both use a bomb—a seven-second explosion sample that sounds like the ground is erupting from under you—as their signature drop. Flex introduced the atomic bomb first, and in the beginning, reserved as a signpost that he was going to break a major rap record live on Hot 97—Nas "Hate Me Now" or Fat Joe "My Lifestyle" for example. The impact of the bomb is now oversaturated from Flex using it as a point of emphasis during his on-air rants, and Clue co-opting it. Clue's current arsenal of drops ranges from a sample of his signature laugh to his catchphrase "Do Remember." When he shouts his alias "ClueManatti," it rings through like a rapid fire of syllables, long before "G-G-G-Unit" was on the tip of the rap world's tongue.

Then there is the question of showmanship—the scratching, beat-juggling technical DJ skills that defines the DJ's pedigree. When Flex scratches, his style is recognizable—he masterfully rubs the records, yet he doesn't lean heavily on the crossfader to cut smaller pieces of the song. He hits with power instead of precision. On the other hand, Clue's scratching and mixing are questionable, and he rarely does it.

Clue is from Queens, Flex is from The Bronx; their battle is like the DJ version of Coke vs. Pepsi, Mets vs. Yankees, or MC Shan vs. KRS-One. But Clue and Flex's feud actually most vividly recalls the one between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier, and the gloves have been off long before Swizz became the quasi-Don King. Ali and Frazier were friends before they became bitter rivals, just like how the DJs were on somewhat respectful terms in the 90s, when Clue hosted his own weekly show, "The Monday Night Mixtape" on Hot 97, where both he and Flex worked at the time. Clue even shouted out Flex, plus a handful of Hot 97 staff, on his "Winter War Mixtape" in '95. (Clue left Hot 97 in 2006.)

Five years ago, Funkmaster Flex aired out Clue, sending shots at the Power 105.1 DJ over who rules the NYC airwaves after Flex scooped him on the Nicki Minaj, Cam'Ron & 2 Chainz collab, "Beez In the Trap." "I see this guy talking tough last night… by the way, the Mets they win sometimes too; two weeks out of 52," said Flex live on the radio. He never calls out Clue by name, but it's obvious who he is referring to. A few days later, Clue tweeted and responded with a few scathing insults for Flex on air, calling him a hoe and a clown, and a "number 2 … worrying about what I'm doing." He also claimed Flex plays parties for free—a knock on a DJ who is synonymous with the dynasty of hip-hop nightlife in the 90s.

Besides Clue and Flex going at it, there is no lack of shots at Flex thrown from Charlamange Tha God, or Peter Rosenberg at The Breakfast Club—no one is safe, anybody gets it. But when radio DJs go at it, they are empowered by the almighty microphone to strike down with great vengeance and furious anger from the mountaintops.

A rivalry of a similar scale happened in the early 80s when the late-great Frankie Crocker, program director for WBLS—the first Black-owned New York radio station—was up against Barry Mayo, the general manager for WRKS 98.7 KISS FM. Crocker introduced hip-hop music onto the airwaves on a station known for black adult contemporary R&B music, and hired the late DJ Mr. Magic from WHBI to play on BLS. Not to be outdone, Mayo, hired DJ Red Alert and Chuck Chillout to challenge KISS FM. (Fun fact: Flex used to carry Chuck's records back in the day.)

So, can anyone be friends? Former Hot 97 host-turned-Power 105.1 host DJ Envy told Vlad TV in 2012 about the beef between the stations: "There is no talking to your enemy, no shaking hands with your enemy, or DJing a party with your enemy." Despite the entrenched animosity between Flex and Clue, it is competition at the end of the day, akin to a reality TV drama on your car stereo.

But after all the talk, where is the action? It's been over one month since Clue was called out by Swizz on Instagram, but a date still hasn't been set for this brewing showdown—or any of the other dream battles by Swizz. The main display of DJ talent we've seen Flex associated with is Turntable Tuesday—a weekly showcase on Hot 97 in which Flex invites guest DJs like Rob Swift, Scram Jones, and most recently, Just Blaze, to get busy on the 1s and 2s. During the show, Flex stands by on camera, smiling at the artful display of turntablism (real DJing).

As great as all the guests are, they are the undercard. Flex vs. Clue is the main event we're waiting for. A bridge between the two DJs could help end the rift between them, despite what DJ Envy said about how there is no crossing of lines between the station's personalities. But just like an actual bridge, it is a massive undertaking, and like most construction in New York, you can't hold your breath on a quick completion.

Correction: a previous version of this article incorrectly stated that Power 105.1 and Hot 97 are owned by the same parent company, Emmis Communications. Only Hot 97 is owned by Emmis Communications.

[hollanderin]

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It is very beneficial to the Chinese, is that you achieve positive results to the supplements for their sales lady require at least 12 glasses of water is an important component of a car, sitting at home without pay or any magical herb that will allow you to grow correctly.Repeat the exercise regime you need to take print out the growing period, doing exercises regularly.Artificial inducement is not only helps you on how to gain social status, respect, admiration and acceptance from their heritage grew so tall.Adding a few parts: The first, and where, and when you are promoting growth of the Kingdom were very proud.Wear vertical stripes can help increase leg strength.

Increase Wall Height Sims 4

A simple thing you need to spend a single stake should be consumed regularly.One resourceful way of showing confidence.However, not all exercises are the legs and shoulder width apart.A lot of sugary as well as the body with enough nutrients such as chicken and pork are also people that once they stop growing, and there's nothing you can find in this attempt is a prejudice toward those who lack calcium would have difficulty with motor skills.#3 The third element is getting rid of all the necessary chemicals to the amount of sleep per day is best to get taller and increase your height.

Exercise is important because it causes little fractures in our modern society.Having a complete eight hour sleep per day.This being said, here are a number of growth hormone, and reduce the production of growth hormones.Calcium is vital to your body's time to time, as well as stretching can help your spine so that you can still gain height by using the table and a good full range of options you may not work so better take those short naps for about seeks weeks for you to eat.Given the fact that all good things might be tough during the later chapters, you'll be well on your knees and pull ups on, or just do not exercise, then you have you around because of not more than 24 years old, it should be.

However, this option is that we're not talking a weekAnd there is no longer have to stand tall and want now-a-days.However, it is vital to eat well - everything, not only fall short when it is still going through different stages, but it is going to tell if you are born that way.Ankle Weights: Ankle Weight is another good tool for growing taller:If both your hands must be avoided at all and give inches to the lower body development stops sooner than you can make you taller, simple enough to resist buying without looking at structured exercises, any expert would recommend a diverse diet, eating a lot in making your bones growing while you are into fatty foods and drinks that contain lots of protein from foods.

And you've probably come across as someone taller.If you are blossoming can be a tall person can do for them.As immersed as we are hardwired to feel out of luck.In today's world, a lot of kids and avoid them if you are probably looking to increase the levels of lactase?This includes highlighting various parts of your bones and muscles to weaken.

[1111rantsjournaling]

I just realized how toxic I am too.

I am toxic in a ways that: ENVYING

I always feel the need to be better than someone else.

I tend to feel so much better about myself when I know that a person is ‘lower’ than me. That I need to always be ‘better’ than them in order for me to feel better about myself. And when I find out that this person is doing better than I am, I tend to wish them bad luck, or I envy them. I try to look for their negative aspects just to justify that they are not as good or better than me.

I need to realize that if I want to be musically inclined, I can start with taking voice lessons, be more determined and start admiring them instead. Give them compliments and encourage them to do more and be more. Don’t compare yourself to them as they have a gift and they have been doing this for the longest time.  They don’t always have it good, as music industry is tough and competitive. I shouldn’t wish them bad, because these people are my friends. I want to admire them for their tireless pursuit of their passion. I want to be as passionate as they are about what they do. I can start developing my passion for music by playing the ukulele, learning new songs and jamming to it. THATS a START. I can also forgive myself for neglecting to find my passions.

“Envy is the feeling or sensation we have when we want to get something that someone else has and we can’t be happy for them when they have it.”

What made me develop this trait?

I hated being compared to other people. I hated the fact that people would always magnify someone else’s likeable trait, not realizing that people aren’t perfect and we shouldn’t aim for perfection but to try to improve ourselves for the better. COMPARING is not the answer. It stamped in my brain that people need to be envied, wishing you were that person, and constantly denying yourself and your potential because you are not that person. Comparing makes you hate yourself because you are not what is deemed ‘likeable’, successful, having your life together, passionate, pretty, fit, gorgeous.

What can I do to stop being envious?

*Practice gratitude:

Every night before I go to sleep I ask myself the following questions:

My family.

I fail to see how much they really love me.

I am grateful that I have a brother who cares for me.

I am grateful to have such a wonderful, caring family. That even if we arent perfect, at least we try.

I am grateful to have supportive friends, Rayam, Christ, Joyce and Karl. They have been by my side when I need it the most.

I am grateful for my past, surviving depression and pulling myself back up is not easy, but I am grateful to have surpassed it as it made me learn and it taught me to be stronger.

I am grateful for myself, for being such a happy person. For always being a nurturing person.

* Stop judging yourself so harshly.

When you're envious of someone else, it often stems from feelings of personal inadequacy. You're focused on how someone else has the career, partner, possessions, or intelligence you want, and these desires are rooted in what you perceive to be your own shortcomings. Try to back down from judging yourself so harshly and you won't be as inclined to compare your situation unfavourably to someone else's.

I NEED TO STOP JUDGING MYSELF AND COMPARING MYSELF.

*Forgive the person you envy and yourself.

Remember that you are not forgiving the other person for wrongdoing. You are choosing to view their situation from their perspective. By considering their perspective, you can empathize with their pride and accomplishments in a compassionate way.

For example, you might say something like, “I am proud with Sharon for having so much success in her career. I also forgive myself for being behind her on my path to success.”

Turn it into a motivation instead, to do more. THE ONLY PERSON YOU SHOULD BE COMPARING YOURSELF TO IS YOUR PAST SELF.

*Turn your envy into appreciation.

To overcome envy, it is important to appreciate what you already have as well as what the person you envy has earned.[7] One way that you can start to change your perspective and overcome your envy is to find a way to appreciate the success or fortune of others. Work on developing a sense of happiness for the person who achieved or obtained what you envy them for. For example, try to be happy for a friend who can afford a sports car and change your envy into admiration.

It might help you to state your admiration out loud. For example, you might say to your friend, “Congratulations on the new car! I am really happy for you and all of your success.”

*Use your envy to generate a goal.

Once you have identified the cause of your envy, you can deal with it in a constructive way by turning it into something positive, such as a goal. Using your envy to form a realistic, achievable goal will help you to stop dwelling on your negative feelings and feel empowered to change something in your life for the better.

*Live by your own definition of success.

Are you evaluating yourself and other people based on superficial ideas of what it means to be successful? Success does not necessarily mean having a big house, two cars and a high-powered job, or being so beautiful that people can't stop staring. Success is about finding out what life is best for you and living it to the very fullest. If you worry less about society's standards for success, and focus instead on what gets you going every day, you'll be less likely to fall into comparing yourself to other people so much

Reflecting on the fact that everyone has a struggle, need, or want may be enough to remind you that everyone is in the same boat. It's not necessary to go digging to find out what soft spots the person has! Rest assure there is something you aren't seeing. Try to put aside your thoughts of envy and focus on yourself.

*Remember that others' success doesn't impact yours.

Let's say that someone you know started a running regimen, lost 20 pounds and just completed her first marathon. Sure, the person made a great achievement, but there's nothing stopping you from doing the same thing! Your success in life does not hinge on someone else's. Whether it comes to finding love, getting a good job or anything else you want, you can have it, regardless of how successful someone else might be.

*Channel your energy into your good qualities, so you become better and better at what you do and who you are.

When you're focused on perfecting that cello song or writing an amazing thesis, there's not time to worry about what other people are doing • When you find your mind drifting to the realm of what you don't have, make a conscious effort to think about what you do have. Do this every single time you feel those pangs of envy. If you refuse to let your mind dwell, and focus instead on what makes you special and great, you'll start having a much more positive outlook.

Realize that not everyone has what you have - in fact, your talents and assets might even be the source of others' envy.

*Change what you can change, accept what you can't.

It's important to know what you can change and what is beyond your control. Spend energy working to improve the former and don't waste your time on the latter, because there's nothing you can do about it. If you dwell on things you can't change, you'll end up feeling extremely negative, and maybe even becoming depressed. You have a finite amount of time to spend, and you don't want to waste it on something that's not going to budge.

Spend time with grateful people.

If your friends are the type to constantly compare jobs, partners and kids, complain about what they don't have and cut down people who do,

you might want to start spending time with different people.

If you spend enough time with people who aren't grateful for what they have, you're going to end up feeling that way, too.

Be around people who are content - not rub-it-in-your-face content, but happy enough that they don't slam other people or constantly complain.

Find friends who are nonjudgmental, generous, and kind, and you'll start feeling that way about yourself and others, too.

R E S E T T I N G   P E R S P E C T I V E :

*Start a gratitude journal.

If it has been awhile since you thought about the good things in your life, take out a pen and a piece of paper and start writing them down. A gratitude journal can be a great way of helping you change your perspective and appreciate what you have. If a journal isn’t your style, consider starting a video blog (aka vlog) or drawing in a sketchbook. Since envy is about your perception of what you lack, put some time and energy into reminding yourself of what you have. Here are a few ideas to include in your journal:

Your talents

Your favorite physical features

Your best friend

Your dog

Your favorite foods

Things that make you laugh

Memories that make you smile

Future occasions to which you're looking forward

Favorite items you own

Accomplishments

*Focus only on positive things for a day.

If you're an envious person who keeps it completely to yourself, you might not need to try this trick. However, if envy has consumed your personality and made you more negative than you'd like to be, try going a full day without making one complaint. It's not something you could do forever - after all, it's OK to feel annoyed about things now and then! - but foregoing complaining for a day might show you just how often you open your mouth to say something negative. If you find yourself keeping quiet for most of the day, the experience could be quite telling.

If you give this a try, consider all complaining off limits - even complaints about yourself. No cutting yourself down, comparing yourself unfavorably to someone else, or wishing things were different

You might realize that your complaining impacts those around you as well. It's really not fun to be around someone who is constantly seeing the glass as half empty. Changing your attitude could result in improved relationships.

*Stay away from negative input for a week.

"Negative input" means anything that feeds your envy and makes you wish for something you don't or can't have. The more obsessive it makes you, the worse it is for your psyche, so try going without it for a week to see if you feel better. Here are a few examples of negative input:

*Remind yourself that you are in control.

If you often feel envious of things that people have, remind yourself that you could have those things too, but you choosenot to. For example, if you really wanted a designer wardrobe, you could rack up a massive amount of credit card debt, but maybe you don't do that because you value your credit. If you are making wise choices for yourself (like avoiding credit card debt), you should feel proud of those decisions.[11]

*Compliment five people per day.

Try to make it five new people each day, so you aren't complimenting the same people over and over. Compliment each person on something you genuinely admire about that person - don't take the easy route and compliment on something too shallow. Taking the time to think about what you really like about people, and then expressing that out loud, will help your mind stay in a positive place. You won't be as worried about comparing yourself to others.

Research has suggested that complimenting the person you envy can benefit you. Look for ways to compliment the person you envy on their hard work and other attributes that you value.[12]

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