#i do like how the blackout is handled in 911

[lover-of-mine]

as a computer scientist i hate wannacry episodes.

[andavs]

5A of 911 was really fucking weird, and I think it’s because of Covid.

We’ve been in this pandemic for a while, it seems like safety protocols have been established and have stabilized since 2020, and my theory based on no knowledge of the industry whatsoever is that on set protections tightened up for the unvaccinated, which young kids are.

911 has always had a running theme of family and togetherness. They explore all kinds of family dynamics, and kids are always included in that, both within the families of the main characters and in emergencies. Except for in 5A.

I don’t know how old all of the main kids are, but I’m assuming that Harry is old enough to be vaccinated since he had his big arc with Jeffrey and his recovery. Denny seems younger, Chris is high risk, and Jee is a baby (who requires multiple babies to play her). 

They all appeared in the blackout episodes (shot during the summer when cases were low and mask mandates were relaxing), but since then, we’ve really only seen Harry and the Grant-Nash family, and Buck. Beginning in 5.04, the parents of the other kids have kind of ceased to exist outside of the job. We don’t really see their families or home lives at all.

Eddie Eddie’s arc has been struggling with his mental health and panic attacks, but between the blackout and Christmas, we only saw him on the job. We didn’t see him at home, if he’s had panic attacks there on his own, if Chris has been noticing and worrying, if they’ve been acting differently—not even how Chris handled the breakup with Ana. All of these things could’ve been a solid buildup to Christmas and Eddie leaving, but we saw none of it.

Since the blackout and the breakup, we’ve seen Chris twice: in 5.06 and only with Eddie, and then in 5.10 either only with Eddie or outside for the party.

Hen Assuming they didn’t want to continue showing her med school journey, last season set up two things that could’ve continued as even a minor ongoing plot: Hen and Karen continuing to foster, and their friendship with Nia's mother. Neither of these things involving kids were mentioned once. (It also seems like Karen wasn’t available for filming since we really only saw her in one episode instead of scenes scattered throughout the season like we usually do.)

Instead, Hen has had no larger arc, but four episodes where she’s a focus, and none involve Denny:

The cheerleader mixup that was entirely at the hospital

Surgery at the prison riot, and after that she went straight to class

Eva returning at the station, Karen went to Eva’s, and then Karen and Hen talked alone in their bedroom

Toni’s past, which happened at a restaurant, and then just Toni and Hen at the house together to wrap things up

Denny was in one scene at Athena and Bobby’s in 5.01, on a facetime call with Hen at the end of 5.03, and then outside for the party in 5.10.

Chimney Chimney’s arc could’ve been Maddie getting help at an inpatient program and him learning to raise Jee on his own. Maybe digging into his own relationship with his father a little more and how that affects him as a father now that he doesn’t have Maddie there with him. But instead we have Chimney taking off, and almost zero Jee-Yun since the footage JLH shot before maternity leave (when cases were dropping as people got vaccinated). Chimney hasn’t held his daughter once this season. 

They’ve shown, all very briefly:

Jee in her playpen, six feet away from Chimney for a panning shot

She was shown for a single closeup in her stroller outside, and then replaced with an unmoving doll for the rest of the scene

Jee in the car, outside, already in her carseat

She’s in the backseat for one quick shot while Chimney is driving

Chimney briefly carries her carseat in an open air parking structure

It’d be hard to have Chimney regularly shown on camera, if you can’t really show his daughter when he’s functionally a single parent to a very young baby. The Lees could constantly be taking care of her while he continues to work, but that’s a lot of telling about a huge change in his life rather than showing it. It doesn’t seem like he’s really allowed to interact with her.

Again, I have no idea how any of this actually works, I’m just guessing. But 5A has felt pretty cold and sterile, and I think that could be coming from the lack of the warm family scenes we usually get. We’ve only seen the Grant-Nash family happy this season, and without exploring the other main’s lives outside of the job, they’ve begun to feel like side characters. And not being able to show their lives and families could also be contributing to the increased focus on guest stars and adult recurring characters like Taylor.

Maybe they’re intentionally leaning into the team feeling fractured and alone by not showing their families, but there’s also been very few emergencies involving kids in 5A. Desperate Times had Luke on the ventilator. Defend in Place had the boy and his sister. Wrapped in Red had the kids of the cheating father (outdoors), the kid in the collapsed apartment, and then the outdoor party at the end.

Hopefully now that the vaccine has been approved for younger kids, we’ll see more of them in 5B and have more family scenes. Since Eddie is leaving for Chris, I would hope they’re somewhat confident he’ll be able to safely be on set more so they can actually focus on them, going through this together. (No idea how they’ll handle Jee, but at least Maddie and Chimney can interact with each other about her.)

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

So I have to just talk about this episode for a second and how out of sorts it felt to me. I have a lot of feelings and I just need to get them out and throw them into the void. I still have my rewatches to do, of course, but I truly am trying to connect some of these events to the characters' overall stories and basic logic.

Let me just start out with I think we're in a very good place with Buddie. But everything outside of that? Whoa.

I'm not saying the episode was bad. It was meant to be intense, a closeup to the chaos arc, and a lot was going on. But did anyone else feel like some things were...not fitting well? The resolution we got to Athena's situation with Hudson and of course thankfully Harry is safe, it all played out well I thought. Though the circumstances around it felt a bit odd to me.

For example, Michael who was married to Athena for such a long time knows she's not going to wait at home, but didn't once think that during a blackout, it might be a good idea to keep track of who is walking in the front door? I get it, be helpful to your neighbors, a very nice thing to do, but how do you know someone walking around the neighborhood won't take advantage of that fact? And not even in the whole they'll eat your food or possibly knock off something kind of way but in a this-person-could-be-potentially-dangerous-to-everyone kind of way. That felt like an odd choice of common sense to not only have Michael being dismissive of but to then call attention to it twice, once of Harry being the one to call Hudson out on not knowing who he is and then showing Hudson helping himself to a drink while Michael and David are having a drink in the background, laughing and talking, only paying attention to each other. And then to have Michael turning around and getting angry at Athena for not telling him that Hudson was on the loose (when she only figured out mere minutes beforehand that she might be a target) so he would have been on the lookout and wouldn't have let their neighbors in...it just felt so off to me. Not that parents wouldn't snap at each other in that situation, not that Michael wouldn't feel guilty and was probably lashing out, but I don't know how else to put it, it just felt off. The only thing I can think of is that due to the writer being Kristen Reidell is that this situation will be revisited at some point with Harry and Michael.

Then you have Maddie's disappearing act. I get that JLH is taking time for her family behind the scenes but I guess I'm a little confuzzled as to why they chose to do it this way? What was wrong with Maddie being checked into a treatment center to get the help she needs? And when I say being checked into, I mean her checking herself in. Leaving Jee-Yun at the station with Ravi and taking off, not even talking directly to Chimney (I get it, his phone was dead, but still) or Buck, that just feels incredibly off. And her leaving like that is really off for her character. I get it, she is suffering from PPD, but still. It would have been a more positive message I think to have her check herself into a treatment center, with the support of Chimney and Buck and those who love her, rather than have her dump the baby at the firestation and run. I'm sure the writers have a plan and I do trust in it, but I do wish they had thought about the message choosing that action sends. This isn't the 50's, there are multiple resources to help mothers suffering from PPD. But ever since it was confirmed Maddie had PPD, it kind of felt like we were back in the 50's and no one talks about it. I just didn't care for the way that was handled if I'm being completely honest.

Eddie and Ana's breakup. While I'm not too broken up over this, no pun intended, I did find their handling of it to be a bit odd. Don't get me wrong, it was a very good scene for Eddie and it was more emotional than I expected it to be (I think some of us have been where Ana was in a relationship and can be somewhat empathetic to her plight), but Eddie not talking to Christopher? Us not seeing Ana saying goodbye to Christopher? It's almost as if Christopher got relegated to the background. I mean, I get it, this was about Eddie and his relationship with Ana, and of course he threw up the Christopher shield again. "Chris loves you so much." But to have Christopher there in the beginning, to have Eddie say that to Ana in front of Christopher but then try to back track, then to move right in for the kill after closing the door, I don't know man, it just felt off to me. It was good to see Eddie make his decision, a decision we all saw coming to be quite frank. But the way it did, I don't know, it just felt extremely off.

Buck and Maddie - where tf did this sibling relationship go? Like seriously. We never saw a phone call or a text (which didn't require both actors to shoot) when Eddie got shot. We only see Maddie interacting with Chim about it. Then we never see Buck finding out about her PPD (that we know of). During the chaos, Buck never even asks about her (that I can remember). The only mention we get of Jee-Yun is during the power czar scene in 5x02. I get it, Buck is in a new relationship, but as we've seen so far, it's not all it's cracked up to be and he's not twitterpated so to speak. He still has a life outside of Taylor and vice versa. So wtf? (this is why I usually binge everything once it's aired btw for all other shows, I can't watch some of these live but I couldn't wait, I needed to know how my 911 faves are doing!!!)

The only thing I can think is that we've seen Bobby's earthquake (I think it really hit this episode with Harry's kidnapping and Athena's standoff with Hudson), Chim's bombs hitting (with Maddie running off), and some of Eddie's mudslide (I have a feeling that there may be a reaction from Christopher, maybe not a strong one, but something after this episode, especially since we didn't see Chris' reaction this one or Eddie even talking to him about it). The only people we're still waiting on is Hen's having an emergency (which if people's predictions for 5x07 are right, then there you go) and Buck's tsunami. This is truly going to be the season that shakes this team up. The ransomware attack and blackout may be over but I don't think the chaos is if I'm being honest. Not in our characters' arcs for this season.

Even though Buck's reaction to Chim in the promo for 5x04 about Maddie is hurting my heart, I'm hoping Chim tells him then and that snaps things into perspective really quick. And of course, I'm looking forward to more Uncle Buck time. <3

[fcntasmas-archive]

You know how the kitchen scene is fruity as hell? Just the everything about it? What if we get another kitchen scene 2.0 next season? Or Buck doing that thing he does where he holds onto his belt and walks closer towards Eddie and smirks. I don’t think we’ll get it but what if. The possibility’s are endless and we don’t know what next season will bring (except for a blackout and a storyline for Maddie’s PPD and that’s like it)

i do know yes honestly i wouldn't mind having a parallel to something flirty like that after we get the appropriate amount of mutual pining you know??? the sad longing looks. the Missed Glances. the over-the-top symbolism 911 loves to provide us on another note, i'm really really crossing my fingers for maddie's ppd storyline to be handled, like, well. i really hope it's not a three-episode thing and then it's like phew! she's good again. especially not at the level we've seen it affecting her. i want a GOOD arc that deals with her recovery the same way i want an eddie recovery i hoNESTLY JUST WANT EVERYONE IN THERAPY jfc

[littlemarvelfics]

Ghost: Chapter Four

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Word Count: about 1,700

Warnings: explanations of abuse

A/N: Hello, hello! Y’all know the drill by now hopefully. Send me an ask for a tag or a request, links are in the bio! 

You leaned into Steve and savored the feeling of his lips against yours. His lips were soft and gentle against yours, moving against yours at a slow pace. You both shifted, allowing Steve to lean overtop of you slightly. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you pulled him closer deepening the kiss until an unwelcome face popped into your head. His threats clouded your thoughts until you were turning away from Steve and pushing him away from you.

“I’m sorry, you should go,” you muttered, not looking him in the eye.

“What? Are you okay?” Steve asked.

“I’m fine Steve, but you should go.”

You stood up from the couch and Steve followed closely.

“Wait, can we just slow down for a minute and talk? Did I do something wrong? If I did, I really am-”

“Steve!” you yelled, cutting him off. “Just go.”

Steve sighed, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “If you want to talk or anything, you know where to find me.”

Steve walked out and you closed the door behind him before turning around and sliding down it and sitting on the floor. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. You had tried dating before but his threats lingered in your mind, causing you to push guys of them away. None of them had as been as understanding as Steve though. Most of them yelled, called you a tease and stormed out. Steve seemed genuinely concerned for you. After what felt like hours, you pulled yourself off the floor and slid into bed.

Next door, Steve was doing the same. He laid awake in his bed, replaying the night's events in his head. Steve had been so happy that you had invited him into your apartment and he was mentally kicking himself for ruining it. The way you talked about your brother and parents made his heart ache. It killed him that you had lost so much. He didn’t go over to your apartment with the intent to kiss you but he couldn’t help himself, he just wanted to ease your pain in any way he could. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment you had changed your mind about the kiss but he hoped he could fix whatever he had done to upset you.

Over the next few weeks, you started avoiding Steve. Ducking quickly into your apartment if you heard his voice and checking the hallway before you left to see if he was out there. You hadn’t quite found the words to explain your past just yet but you couldn’t just pretend that nothing had happened.

You were about to leave your apartment when you hear Steve’s voice coming up the stairs.

“I dunno Buck. She just pushed me out of her place and now she’s avoiding me. And I would get it if she didn't want to date me. This life is a lot to handle, I wouldn’t blame her for a second. But I miss talking to her.”

Bucky’s reply was muffled and you heard Steve’s door open and close. You sighed. You missed talking to him too. You made a quick decision, that night you would talk to Steve and come clean about everything. You just hoped he wouldn’t think less of you.

Work seemed to drag on that night. You spent your time in between tables planning what to say to Steve. Doris noticed you staring into space and she stood next to you.

“What’s going on your mind girly? You’ve been distracted all day.”

“I just… I haven’t spoken to Steve in a while and I miss him. So I’m gonna try and track him down tonight.”

“Why have you been avoiding him?” she questioned.

“Why do you assume I’m avoiding him? He could be avoiding me ya know,” you pointed out.

“Sweetie, I saw the way that boy looked at you. He wouldn’t avoid you even if you had the plague.”

You smiled at her, holding your hands up in defeat.

“We were hanging out the night of the blackout and he kissed me and it was so perfect,” you paused, letting out a sigh.

“And then?” Doris prompted.

“And then I freaked out and pushed him away and made him leave.”

“Oh honey,” she said sympathetically. “I’m sure he’d understand-”

You cut her off quickly.

“That’s the thing though, in order to explain my freakout I’d have to explain some other things and I worry that he might see me differently than he does now,” you rambled.

“Let me ask you this. Can it get worse than not talking to him at all?”

“I guess not,” you conceded.

“Then talk to him. Explain everything, he might be more understanding than you think.”

Doris gave you a smile and a pat on the back before wandering away to one of her tables.

She was right. It couldn’t get much worse than avoiding him completely.

You paced around your apartment, waiting to hear Steve’s door open. You still didn’t have a solid plan of what to say to him, figuring it was best to just go for it. You heard heavy footsteps in the hall and then the sound of Steve’s door opening and closing again. Taking one more deep breath, you marched over to Steve’s and knocked on the door.

The door whipped open and revealed and understandably confused Steve.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you said quickly. “I just wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?”

“Of course,” he said, moving aside to let you in.

He guided you into his apartment, the layout was the same as yours though Steve’s place was much tidier than yours. He gestured for you to sit on the couch and then he sat next to you. You let out a sigh before pulling your legs up to sit cross-legged facing him.

“I want to explain what happened the other night.”

“No you don’t have to explain anything,” Steve said quickly.

“I want to, it’s just hard for me.”

“That’s okay,” Steve said, resting his hand on your knee. “Take your time.”

“So you know about my parents.”

Steve nodded.

“For so long, I let that define me. My own parents didn’t want me around so why would anyone else? When I was in school, I was so concentrated on doing well in my classes, I didn’t really have time to date ya know? But a little bit after I graduated, I met someone through some friends. His name was Will and he seemed perfect. Smart, funny, handsome. So we started dating but then things started changing.”

Steve could tell where this was going from the tears in your eyes.

“It started small you know? I would tell him I had plans with friends and he would say that he would rather spend time with me. So I did. My friends starting drifting away but I didn’t care. I had Will.”

You paused for a moment to collect your thoughts.

“Then it got worse. Telling me no and yelling if I questioned him, And then he started hitting me if I did something he didn’t like. And then he was hitting me for no reason at all. At first, he would apologize the next morning, tell me he loved me and that he didn’t mean it, he just lost his head for a bit but that stopped too.”

Steve scootched closed to you on the couch, taking one of your hands and squeezing.

“And I wanted to leave, I really did. But I just kept thinking, he says he loves me and he does this. What’s he gonna do when he hates me? Plus, he’s a cop. So I never really felt like I could report him. The guys I would fill out a report with were the same ones that came over for Sunday football. It’s not like they would believe me or do anything if they did.”

“How did it finally end?” Steve asked quietly.

“He beat me so bad one night I passed out. But I guess the neighbors heard us yelling and called 911. I woke up in the hospital. He pulled some strings and got the charges dropped. He didn’t spend a single second in jail after he beat me so badly that I was in a coma for two days. One night a few weeks after that, when he was out with his friends, I packed a bag and left. I just hoped he wouldn’t follow me.”

“Did he?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen him around or anything but he’s called me a few times.”

You focused your gaze on your hand that was being held by Steve, he squeezed gently when he realized there was more you wanted to say.

“The reason I’m telling you all this is I like you, Steve. I like you a lot. But Will is still in the back of my mind. He used to tell me that if I left him for someone else, he would kill the guy I was with and honestly, I believe him. You put your life in danger every day and I don’t want to add to that.”

“I like you too Y/N. And I want to be with you. I’m not scared of some pathetic asshole who hits women to feel better about himself. I want to help you get back to living a full life without looking over your shoulder constantly.”

You had spent the majority of the conversation avoiding Steve’s eye. You were afraid of how he would look at you, disgust for staying with him or worse than that, pity. But when you finally met his gaze, all you saw was genuine concern and care for you. You lifted your hand and lightly ran your fingers over his jaw.

“It’s not gonna be easy,” you whispered.

“Easy is overrated. I care about you so much already Y/N. I want to be there for you in any way that I can,” he said with a smile. “Does this mean I could possibly take you out on a date?”

“I would love that,” you replied with a grin.

Steve took your hand and placed a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“I’m gonna protect you Y/N. I promise.”

[somedayonbroadway]

The Call

Chapter 2

A/N: Hi friends! Sorry about the long wait on this pic for my Tumblr followers! I have seen all of your guys’ comments on “The Resistance.” I am going to be honest, I don't think I ever had any intention of continuing that fic. I did not think it would really get a reaction, much less a reaction that passionate. But I am excited to announce that I will be continuing that story and there will be a tag list! If you’d like to be on it, head on over to that post and reblog/comment with a note telling me to place you on it! Thank you all so much!

Anyways, here is a completely different story. Hope you all enjoy!

It was all over the news. Everywhere. Benjamin Neilson, allegedly kidnapped; taken right out of his own bedroom in the middle of the night. Anyone with any information was supposed to come forward. To save this boy's life.

David hadn't slept the night before. This was his doing. One stupid mistake might've cost this little boy his life.

"Hey, Davey... Smalls told me what happened last night n'... just let me know you're alright, okay? I know that this's gotta be hard but... talkin' about it might help..."

David had chucked his phone across the room when he'd gotten Jack's voicemail that morning. Everyone new. This was his fault.

It was hard to get out of bed that morning. It was hard to face the facts. That was all real. It had actually happened. And now, a sixteen year old was most likely fighting for his life in the hands of a complete stranger. He'd been a target and David didn't know why and he didn't know how to make it stop.

And he couldn't stop hearing about his failure.

It was part of the job. He knew it was. There would be bad calls sometimes. Sometimes, bad things happened. And he couldn't control them. But this seemed to be the one that was pushing him over the edge.

"L.A. county police continue their search for missing teen Benjamin Neilson, who was allegedly abducted from his home in Hancock Park last night. L.A.P.D. sources say the lack of witnesses and evidence in the case are frustrating the effort. Neilson family issued a statement late last night..." The stereo in his old car was too loud. He slammed his hand over the button that would shut it off.

He only missed four times. The heel of his hand hurt after that. He was sure there would be a bruise.

The second he'd walked into his place of work, he couldn't feel anything but anxiety. Phones were ringing everywhere. People were talking quickly and furiously and trying so hard to be the one thing standing between the caller and death itself.

His desk seemed so far away all of the sudden. There was an odd kind of feeling in his chest as he forced himself to take a step forward. He couldn't bring himself to appreciate the place he had loved so much just yesterday. It was stressful for sure. But that didn't mean it wasn't completely necessary.

As he passed by Smalls, the young woman turned to him, just having finished up he last call. "Hey there, Mouth," she called in her always seemingly sarcastic tone. David hated that Jack's nickname for him had caught on. Sure, he liked to argue with the other man, but seriously, that was the best he could do?

"Hey, Smallsie," he forced out, just as he reached his desk.

He was supposed to sit down now. That's what came next. But he couldn't move. He could only stare. The screams still bounced around in his brain, taunting him.

Smalls still had not taken another call. "Ya gonna be okay, Davey?" she asked. It was odd to hear this kind of concern from such a tough, suck it up kind of woman.

All David could do was nod, mutely. Suddenly, it felt as though he couldn't speak. But he forced himself down to the chair, scooting himself forward and letting his hands hover over his spacebar. He had to click it to let the computer know he was ready for a call. But his hands were still trembling. He wasn't sure they'd ever stopped.

He tried to take a breath. Tried to steady himself. He did this everyday. This was normal. This was what happened everyday. There were some bad calls. There always would be.

He hit the spacebar.

"911, what's your emergency?"

The scream that met his ear made David flinch.

Panic courses through David's veins. Someone was dying. He was going to get someone killed. He froze. His lips were glued together. He couldn't speak. He could hardly breathe.

"Get someone here! Please! Please get someone here!" The man was trying like hell to snap out of it. It was like the entire weight of the world was suddenly rest on his shoulders. "Please! Please send help!"

The man completely froze up. All he could hear was Benjamin's panicked cry before the call was ended.

"Hello?! Are you there?" a woman cried over the phone. "There is a bat in my daughter's bedroom! Please get somebody!"

Immediately, some kind of relief fell over David. He could handle this. It was going to be okay. "Yeah... yeah, I'm here," he assured as he typed things out on his computer. "I'm sending you animal control. They'll be there soon, okay?"

The woman gasped a view times, seeming to calm down. "Okay... Thank you..." and just like that, she hung up. David couldn't help but sag in relief.

This was bad. Really bad. He's frozen. Right there. In the midst of a call he'd just stopped. "Pull it together, Jacobs," he hissed at himself, sure that no one else could hear him. "You got it... you're fine..." He blinked the tears from his eyes as he forced his fingers to click down on the spacebar once again.

"Goddamn it! What'd I do now?"

At the familiar voice, David felt himself smile a bit. This, he could handle. "Hey, Mr. Kloppman. How ya doin'?" he asked, glad for the familiar distraction.

"Not good, kiddo! They put me in jail again..." The operator was content to let the man ramble about his misfortune. It was fine. The small issue was nice. It wasn't an emergency. David was okay.

Until he spun around and caught sight of the giant screen displaying the news.

He stood up quick, ripping the headset off as he recognized the boy's picture on the screen. Benjamin Neilson. Missing Teen Found Dead.

It was like a train wreck. He fought like hell to look away but he couldn't. He could only watch helplessly as the helicopter's cameraman got a shot of the body being dug out of the ground. The entirety of the kid's body was blurred. Because he had no clothes on. The picture wasn't clear. Details wouldn't be released that easily.

But David's imagination was running wild. So he did too.

Anything to just get out of there for a minutes. This was his fault. That child was dead and it was his fault.

"Everyone's lookin' for ya down there..."

Jack's voice hardly brought David out of his daze. He could hardly look up from the city below them. Somehow, he'd made it up to the roof of the building. Somehow he'd sat on the ledge, letting his feet dangle above Manhattan. Somehow, it had been two hours. And the man could hardly bring himself to care.

His best friend sat beside him, watching him simply nod, still speechless. "You know they can't run that place without you, yeah?" he asked, pointing back inside where he was supposed to be. David did not respond. He just sat silently with his legs swinging over the big city. "Davey... talk ta me. Why're ya beating yourself up over this? You've had bad calls before..." Jack sighed, though his tone was sympathetic and light. He was just trying to understand.

But David hardly understood himself. He'd had bad calls before. Jack was right. But this one... it was the one that seemed to trump them all. "You know my dad was a cop, right? Before he... um..." Jack nodded, not wanting the other man to go into much, knowing how painful it was to speak of the accident. The one that was the reason David had been tasked with providing for his family since he was just sixteen. "Well... he told me once that the hardest part about bein' a cop was knowin' that you might be the only thing standing between someone living and someone dyin'..."

Jack nodded. That much was true. It was something he thought about everyday.

"And once ya can't shoulder it no more... it's time ta get out..." David finished, taking in a deep breath. He wondered what would've happened if someone else had gotten Benjamin's call. If he hadn't made that stupid mistake, maybe the kid would still be alive.

It was clear there was nothing Jack could say to change the man's mind. He knew this man. They'd been friends for a while. And he had been damn good at what he did. But if he thought this was the right step, there was no way he wasn't taking it. "So that's it, huh?" he questioned. "Just like that David Jacobs is outta the game?"

All David could do was shrug. "I dunno... yes? It's just... that kid-"

Quickly slinging an arm around the other man's shoulders, Jack shook his head, silently telling him not to continue. It wasn't his fault. He wasn't the one that had taken that little boy to his death. "Look... I just need ya ta know that you got me, yeah? Always..."

David nodded, looking out over the big city again. One that carried on even though a little boy that had once thrived in it was gone.

"Always," he agreed, lifting up his left hand. Jack shook it immediately. David couldn't help but be grateful he'd grown out of the spit shake that Jack had always done throughout high school.

David didn't go to dinner that night to meet Jack's boys. David had gone to a bar, gotten blackout drunk and fallen asleep hanging off of Jack while he practically dragged him to an Uber. He'd just wanted to forget.

But those words still played over and over in his brain.

"It's already done."

And now it was over for David. The words and an ear shattering scream proved to be his undoing. David couldn't shoulder it anymore.

David Jacobs was out of the game.

[clairekatswritingcorner]

Just in the Nick of Time

Word Count: 2,180

Summary: Alexys is busy closing up the clinic one night when a mysterious stranger turns up, winded and wounded, and collapses right in front of her in the lobby.

*Author’s Note*: First of another batch of commissions for @bad-blue-moon-rising and her precious selfship with Tom! The first time I saw him I got so excited because…masks are so neat (but then I realized I didn’t do a lot with it T^T oh well). I hope you enjoy!

“Looks like that’s everything.”

Alexys was finishing up yet another long day at the vet clinic. Although the clinic itself had closed an hour or so ago, it was common for the dutiful pet doctor to stay a little later than everyone else, ensuring that everything was organized and taken care of before she headed out. Sometimes there’d be clean up or supply orders that could technically wait until the next day, but Alexys rested easier knowing it was all done before she left. Some of the other employees considered her dedication to be a little on the extreme side, but tonight her propensity for working overtime was going to kickstart a fateful encounter.

The young woman gathered her belongings and made her way for the main lobby. Slipping around the check in desk, she already had the key out so she could lock up for the night. To her surprise, it seemed she wasn’t going to make it outside without one more problem barreling through the doors and falling into her arms—quite literally, in this case.

Alexys couldn’t help letting out a small shriek as an unfamiliar man stumbled through the entrance, panting and sweating as he tried to stay on his feet. He didn’t have much strength left, and he’d used the last of it making it into the safety of this building; or at least, he hoped it would be safe. He’d been in more life threatening situations before, and situations just like this more often than he would have liked, so he expected the outcome of this one to be no different. He’d make his way to some random building, hide away inside until his partners could come find him, and do what he could with what he had to tend to his wounds.

Alexys dropped her bag, and the man dropped to the floor. He was on his knees, groaning and holding his side, clearly in some sort of physical distress. He may have been in some kind of mental distress, too, considering the state of panic he was exhibiting. It was hard for Alexys to imagine someone not feeling panicked in a situation like this; the man looked like he’d just barely managed to escape some sort of fight for his life. It was a little hard to tell the extent of both his wounds and his demeanor due to his layered clothes, and a very striking yet peculiar mask that hid his face.

Her first thought after her initial shock was that it was a little ironic; the fact that he was wearing an animal mask, that is. It appeared to be the visage of a white fox, although Alexys reminded herself in the midst of her arbitrary mental detour that now wasn’t the best time to be getting distracted by his appearance. This man needed medical attention, and the longer she stood around in paralyzed confusion, the more his chance of survival dwindled.

“Uh, uh, I’ll call an ambulance!” Her words were a little garbled, all fighting to pile out of her mouth at once as a rush of adrenaline seized her body. Suddenly, everything was moving too fast, all at once, and she knew she had to react quickly if she wanted to keep up with it all.

She knelt down beside the bag she’d dropped, frantically sifting through its contents in her haze of both determination and horror. How could she be so stupid, why was she reacting this way? She was used to dealing with emergencies, even emergencies that treaded the razor thin line between life and death. She’d dealt with a handful of such instances today, and yet right now she just couldn’t seem to pull herself together. She supposed maybe it was because now she was dealing with a human being instead of an animal, although it wasn’t like she didn’t care deeply for the patients she treated. Maybe it was just due to the severity of the situation, and the fact that she was alone, and the clinic was so quiet that the lack of sound was more oppressive than any loud noises would have been.

She shrieked again when the man grabbed her wrist. She was just getting ready to dial 911 as his strong, rough hand seized her arm, his expressionless mask staring at her with a kind of eerie intensity. Was he going to hurt her? Was this actually some sort of set up, a plan to prey upon her sympathies until she let her guard down like one of those schemes you hear about on the news? Now her blood ran cold with the realization that she might have just waltzed into an obvious and life-threatening trap. She was so concerned about this mysterious stranger’s wellbeing that she hadn’t even considered worrying about her own safety…this may turn out to be the greatest mistake she’d made in a long time.

“Don’t…” His voice was weak and raspy, and Alexys felt herself starting to tremble in fearful anticipation of what his next demand might be. “Don’t call the police…”

“What?” She was honestly dumbfounded, and her befuddlement was almost strong enough to snap her out of her traumatically concerned state.

“Don’t call the police,” he said it again, with a little more strength this time, although apparently that was all the strength he had left. As the last word left his mouth he collapsed, slumping facedown on the floor as he finally succumbed to the blackout that had been encroaching on his vision since he’d entered the facility.

Alexys wasn’t sure why, and she knew it wasn’t advisable, but…she wanted to listen to his words. She didn’t want to betray his trust. Even if he hadn’t really had a choice in giving it to her, since the regrettable state of his body was what determined whether he was going to pass out or not, she felt like she had some duty to help him. Surely it wouldn’t do her any good to commit such an act, but something in her heart encouraged her to do so with no reservations. In a way, a hurt animal had just drug itself to her doorstep, and it was her policy to do everything in her power to save any hurt or ailing creature brought before her.

She may only be a vet, but she had enough basic knowledge to get him patched up. She could only hope there wasn’t any severe internal damage, because if that were the case he might not make it until morning. She wasn’t sure why he was so insistent on her not calling for help, determined to the point that he implored her with his last conscious breath. Then again, perhaps he’d gotten into a scuffle that involved him getting in some trouble with the law; it certainly didn’t seem like what had happened to him was simple or unintentional.

Although she was confident she could tend to his wounds at least somewhat, she had to acknowledge that he was much larger than any of the normal patients she dealt with. There also weren’t any techs around to help her maneuver him around, so she spent a good five minutes or so wrestling him onto a gurney she could use to get him back into one of the operating rooms. She didn’t plan on doing anything too significant, like cutting him open or trying to pop bones back into place, but she knew she could handle giving him the stitches he required in at least one or two places.

“So much for making it home early,” she mumbled to herself as she got back into the sterile parts of her uniform. She always left later than everyone else and getting home before midnight or one o’clock would have been an early night for her. But she wouldn’t have been able to sleep knowing she left someone untended to, or kicked them out, or got them in trouble by calling the police who might not actually do anything to help them. As disruptive as this situation was, it’d become her responsibility, and she was going to see it through to the end.

As she got to work removing the parts of his clothing where she could see blood seeping through, she examined his mask out of the corner of her eye. His eyes were probably shut behind it, completely immobile and blank as a result of the restorative state his body had defaulted to. Should she remove it and see what kind of damage had been done? There didn’t seem to be any blood flowing from his ears or neck or dripping from his face. There were a few streaks of blood smeared across his mask, a stark contrast to the white background they disrupted. From the way they were positioned, she was fairly certain they weren’t made of his own.

But there also seemed to be a weight to the mask, an invisible one that encouraged her to stay as far away from it as possible. She didn’t want to touch or displace it, or even try to clean it, for fear that she would disturb the individual whose identity was currently locked behind it. For now, it wasn’t imperative for her to know who the mask belonged to, who had made their way so unceremoniously into her clinic but refused the help she tried to offer in the form of getting him to the nearest hospital. In retrospect, this was the nearest hospital, even if it wasn’t one for humans…and since she was able to moderately treat his injuries, it was a sufficient enough place for him to stay.

After getting the wounds she could see disinfected and patched up, she laid a blanket over him and went to grab a cup of water. She’d had to remove his jacket and cut part of his pantleg to reach the cuts trapped below, and she took the salvageable parts of his outfit to get them washed. When she returned, she found him still asleep, and sat with him for a while trying to decide what to do next. She couldn’t leave him here to wake up alone, but she couldn’t really take him anywhere else, and she wasn’t sure if it would be wise to take him with her, only to discover she’d invited unsolicited danger into her home.

She was starting to feel a little drowsy when the man made a groaning noise, his limbs rustling under the blanket. Alexys perked up and came to his side, touching his shoulder gently out of her reflex to comfort patients. The man instantly flinched away, and Alexys took a step back, keeping a cautious eye on him. He’d just been through quite an ordeal, but considering how violent it seemed, she couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t going to instigate some kind of problem himself.

“Where am I?”

The more he woke up the calmer he became, but Alexys kept her distance. “You’re in a vet hospital. You came charging in here from outside, but I don’t know where you came from before that. You were hurt pretty badly, enough that you passed out from the pain and blood loss. I treated the wounds that I could, but I don’t really have the tools or expertise to inspect you for internal injuries—”

“And who are you?”

She was a little hesitant to respond. “My name’s Alexys. I’m a veterinarian at this clinic, and you’re lucky you came when you did, because I was just getting ready to lock up for the night. Would you mind telling me who you are?”

“Alexys, huh?” the man replied, sounding a little amused. Alexys wasn’t sure what was so funny about her name, and she also wasn’t going to let him sneak away without getting an answer to her own question. Before she could repeat herself, he started speaking again. “Well, thanks for your help. Looks like I got here just in the nick of time. Without you I don’t think I’d have woken up from that black out. And thanks for not calling the cops, too. I don’t have any personal issues with them, but uh, you could say that thanks to my work they definitely have more than a few issues with me.”

Alexys crossed her arms and allowed him to keep going. “Anyway, that’s kind of a lot to get into. It’s pretty late, and I’m sure you were hoping to be home by now.”

It didn’t seem like he was going to hurt her, which was a relief. “I was. But I’m not leaving here until you at least give me your name.”

The stranger chuckled, entertained by something she still couldn’t figure out. To her surprise he lifted the mask from his face, revealing the considerably handsome appearance of a man with dark eyes, wavy hair, and a short wavy beard to match. Alexys blushed involuntarily in response, much to her own embarrassment.

“The name’s…Tom,” he answered with a half grin. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Alexys.”

[animela]

Having a Chronic Disease or knowing someone with a Chronic Disease can be scary as shit. There is a lot of stuff your doctor doesn’t always tell you about it because you don’t know to ask and there’s a lot of stuff the patients won’t tell their friends and family because they’re afraid of worrying them. But sometimes things just come out without meaning to because they just happen.

I know I personally have a tendency to make fun of it because it can cause all sorts of weird shit to happen but I have Multiple Sclerosis or MS for short. My grandmother had it, my father had it and I ended up being Diagnosed when I turned 20 although I showed early signs through most of my teenage years. 

In my case, my nerves like to shut off at random times although the intervals for me are typically consistent. Stress can cause it to happen more often but isn’t necessary for a flare up.

For me, Flareups happen in one of two ways: 

A nerve in my body can shut off.

A nerve in my brain can shut off.

When a nerve in my body shuts off two things can happen due to how muscles work. A muscle will continue doing whatever its last signal was for at least a couple minutes if that last signal was “contract”. When you’re balancing something or even holding something, those muscles contract and relax constantly to maintain the appropriate pressure. Your muscles will also be forced to stop contracting if they reach a certain point which is why normally you’re only limited to how much you can pick up because otherwise it’s self damaging.  

A muscle stuck on “contract” when the nerve loses signal will tear itself and cause massive bruising. It’ll stop after a few minutes if the flareup continues on for much longer but it still hurts like a bitch even after it goes limp.  A muscle stuck on “Relax” will cause the limb to go limp and depending on the limb the person can really hurt themselves.  It’s really common for either “Relax” or “Contract” to cause a person with MS to lose control of their legs and thus their balance, ending up on the ground and unable to stand up until it’s over. 

I joke about the stuff this causes such as my fingers relaxing while the rest of my arm contracts forcing me to either drop or throw things while the arm goes into an awkward position or even knocks shit I’m wearing off my head but it’s not really that fun.

I joke about how I have Right Sided MS because I don’t have to worry about my heart shutting off(it’s on the left), but the reality is, if I was unfortunate enough to be left sided, that tiny chance is always there and thus the tiny chance of it not restarting would be even scarier than what my current reality is. Enough signal lost or enough damage done to the nerve in the process can cause it to shut off permanently with no chance to receive signal again even with electrical stim.

With the right balance of Potassium I can prevent these kind of flareups to keep them to an extreme rare pop-up. Which is good because I’m pregnant and too much contraction in the abdomen could end up leading to a miscarriage or internal bleeding and hemorrhaging.

But I can’t do that with ones that happen in the brain as they have nothing to do with my muscles’ personal nerves.

When a Flareup happens in the brain, it depends on the location it happened in. For me, these can’t be prevented by potassium and stress levels don’t control how often they happen. More often than not the less stressful of the two is just hiccups.

Basically my brain farts so hard that it shits itself. I will completely lose track of what I was just talking about, doing, or even my current location in some cases even if I was just talking about or doing the same thing for the past 30 minutes. I will literally draw a blank until someone can describe what I was attempting otherwise I move onto a completely different thing until I can remember myself again, usually weeks later.  These “Brain Farts” can also bridge time so effortlessly that I’ll bring up a conversation I had with someone several months ago as if they made their last answer two minutes ago. I’ll still remember what I was doing and where I am but I might forget who that conversation was with and even though I know what time it’s been It might take a few seconds to remember. It’s probably why I suffer from memory loss and bad short term until I remember a weird moment years later(I seriously can’t remember what I did or ate the day before if I don’t have some sort of reminder like a receipt or item on hand)

On the otherhand, the second kind of nerve disconnection is much more scary and often takes people by surprise when it happens. I can usually play it off like it didn’t happen because people don’t notice but when it happens when I’m doing something important, it can really scare the shit out of people like my Life Partner.  Basically what happens when I have this type of Flareup is I get a warning of about 2 seconds of Dizziness followed by an immediate blackout of my vision. I can’t tell what I’m doing at this time nor can I really feel anything with my hands either. The best solution is to just sit down if I’m not already. It almost always involves a blanked out brain fart so afterwards I usually have no idea what the fuck I was doing other than vaguely knowing what just happened. 

Stronger variations also lead to a complete numb out of my entire body where everything everywhere gets sent the signal to “relax” literally leaving me like a ragdoll.  Witnesses of this happening to me have reported that during this blackout my eyes will be open but I won’t be responsive period. Often my hands will be making grabbing motions but I am unaware of doing this either. If I blink, it usually means it’s over and I’ll start sluggishly responding again until I can get back up to speed.

It odd when I explain this to people close to me because they think they can handle it when it happens but it’s absolutely terrifying when it does and some have even considered calling 911 before I became responsive again before they could grab their phones. My whole brain essentially goes through an entire reboot. Most will see the Body based signal loss and they think that’s it. 

The body based ones are worry-some but I’m at least mentally capable of taking care of myself when it happens or am able to explain how to help. This morning won’t be the last time and it was certainly wasn’t the first where I’ve had to explain that I don’t need emergency medical services unless my heart stops, I stop breathing, or I go unresponsive for longer than 3-4 minutes. Just keep me from hitting my head on stuff if you were hugging me instead of letting me sit and lay back when it happens and keep talking to me till I talk back. 

I’m sorry I scared you but lets not pay 2 grand for an Ambulance when they can’t do anything about neurological disorders. I’d be awake and back to normal way before they got here.