#i do hope people listen 2 and emjoy

[cornsarts]

The Angry Son: A Fugo Fanmix Spotify // Youtube

Simmer Down / The Wailers // Into The Wayside Part I/Sick / Ceremony // Don't light my fire / Otoboke Beaver // Animal Hospital / Coughs // Deformative / Black Eyes // A Moment of Violence / Streetlight Manifesto // Born Again So Many Times You Forget You Are / Brave Little Abacus // Gallery / The Coltranes // Hidden Wheel / Rites of Spring // Poledo / Dinosaur Jr. // Good Morning, Captain / Slint // Keep a Cool Head / Desmond Dekker & the Aces

[abaharashi]

I was 27 when i first discovered Night in the Woods. I was piqued by its art style and charm. I had been needing something to jist BE with. I didnt newd achievements, i didnt need scores or mechanics. I didnt need difficulty or grandiose stories that stretch across the stars and peirce hearts unseen.

I needed a game i could sit with. Take my time and just relax, and enjoy.

Gregg was a favorite early on. Its easy to see why. Everyone should have a Gregg in their life. But i quickly grew attached to Bea. I was drawn to why she waa so...snide with Mae. And given their supposed history i felt so inclined to learn more aboit Bea. And try to reform what friendship was there before things when caput.

Im not going to talk about the rest of those adventures or stories. What i want to talk about is how i am now 3 years into my transition, and playing this game through for the 3rd time now...and its so fucking cathartic in a way.

I related to Mae alot, given how i felt when i was 20. I dont have derealisation but i do get anxiety and depression. Its been notoriously bad recently.

And in a world entering the year 2024 on calander, with so much going on all the time, everywhere. I know i can go back to Possum Springs. And just try to emjoy life and get through another day.

Its not real, but i cant get out much. Adulting will do that to you. Capitalism has made it difficult regardless of age. And those trips with Gregg to the park and having a mini knife fight. Or going to the mall with Bea and shoplifting because "cool kids stickin it to the man" or finding out why Angus doesnt talk with his family much these days.

It brings me back to a time when things did seem uncertain. When i was scared and anxious. But when i also had this bravado to see another day and put 1 foot infront of the other. Because Life.

Those days are so difficult now. You go to work and then feel like super heated glass being doused in water. And you cant stay at work. You cant. Youre akin to a mannequin at that point. You have to go home because youll end up hurting yourself somehow, intentionally or otherwise.

And this great sadness overtakes you and its joined with mania and you just...dont know how youll get through the day. Or if you even want to wake up the next day.

~~~~~~~~~

I've been listening to the NitW OST for the past.... 2-3 days now. And all the tunes are so...simple in their construction and melodies. But they hold this special place in my heart. Maes House especially. It reminds me that my house and family are not like Maes. And i wish they were. Atleast in how the game portrays them presently. I cant even go upstairs to get food unless i cover up now or dress in modest fashion because transition had made people uncomfortable around me expressibg my body in ways i nevwr could before. Not in sexual fashion but showing a bit more skin and wearing tighter clothes and such. And its an insidious uncomfortable they demonstrate. They dobt say it vocally most times to try and be respectful i guess. But i can feel those thoughts burring into me and the....velcro fuzzy distortion that builds between us.

I cant be myself and they don't want me to, because it makes them uncomfortable.

So ive been going back to Possum Springs. And talking with Gregg and reading his enthusiasm helps alot. "I have a friend whos super supportive and would punch someone out for me"

"But hes not real"

I need him to be. Ok? I need Gregg to be real. I need Possum Springs to be real. I need that feeling to be real for me again. A world where im not so...beaten by life and wanting to hope for a better day bit having to fight tooth and nail for every good day i have. Where i dont have to worry about the financial burden of debts, or the worry that this procedure will set me back an additional 20k.

I just want to feel that youthful joy and energy again.

[dialline]

hahhaha story time but i wrote something good for ocs

under read more so uh

emjoy

A pale sky is seen above. A whisper of wind echoes through the forest, calling silently. Waking up in the clearing is so surreal. A light fog flows between the trees and the assortment of flowers around. I swear, the wind is calling me back to town. I don’t remember walking into the forest, I just took the train and then was back here. It’s a good question, about how I got here. I was miles away from this dreadful place, despite all the happy memories.  The ever infamous Whiteway. This town has quite the history. Between stories that I would love to believe aren’t true, to rumors I’ve seen to be real with my own eyes. That… dream eating, thing, ghosts, werewolves. This place has everything. But it gets so much worse. I knew all the people that came here with hope, and curiosity. But only to never come out of here. I have my ideas as to what happened here, actually. Rather I’ve witnessed what happened. 

Faltering into town, a smell of coins and candy fills the air. Hard telling what the coppery tang in the air is, but the smell of candy sure as hell shouldn’t be there. Poor Johnny died years ago. I still hate what happened. He was sweet as his candy, I swear. Johnny Amare, a compassionate candy shop owner. He practically raised me, along with who I think is his cousin. Hard telling, they look so much alike, him and Joey. He taught me many things, along with everybody else. 

Johnny told me his best secrets about candy making, as well as he gave me the ribbon on my hat, which I’ve made sure always looks brand new. Joey gave me the hat for my birthday, June 15. Luther, his husband was the one who made it, and Dove made the pattern. Dove. Out of everybody possible in this town, despite not raising me, he’s the one I want to see the most. It’s not that I don’t get along with Joey, or Luther. It’s just… I never got to say sorry to him. He never deserved his fate. Connor. I dread him. I really hope he’s kicked the bucket by now. Bastard killed people for fun, but mostly for money. You can get quite a bit of cash for trying to bring “justice” to the murderer. I don’t think he’d let himself get caught for his schemes. He poisoned Joey with cyanide, so at least he went.. Kind of quickly and mostly painlessly. I hope it was painless at least. Shove Norman into the lake, and he can’t swim. Johnny I’m not too sure, I think he was either stabbed or shot. My memory is pretty foggy. Then Luther got away, knowing Connor would never set foot into the sewers. Disgusting, but hey, at least he got to live.

Dove Couture. Lovely sewing, singing, and magic tricks. Well, the magic tricks are more ridiculous than anything but that’s beside the point. He’s the bartender at the good old theme park thing. He’s also the casino dealer there. It’s questionable who the park is trying to appeal too, but I think the owners just selected all of the above. Connor… bashed his head in, on the casino table during after hours. The town never found out, and Connor never told me. I only know because I was about to ask Dove a question, then I saw it. It was every bit of it, blood and all. Connor walking in, yelling at Dove. Dove saying something back, sounding nearly to tears. Connor ran out quickly after this little “accident” happened. I never got to talk to him. On his birthday, about to give him a gift. Ask him about how he was. 

That’s not even close to all the deaths in town, but that's the ones that hurt the most for me. I approaching the old park, past the candy shop, past the cafe. How I dread coming back. What if Connors hear? Out to see if I came back? In 20 years, like I said I ran away from his dull blade. I swear I heard shallow breaths over my shoulder, cold, and raspy. Probably from that dream eater. Nobody knows what the hell that thing is. I just like to believe that it’s not real. But oh. How I would love to encounter a horrific, rumored to be 12 feet tall shadow abomination. Or maybe it’s just a weird tree in the wind that caught the attention of a tired, paranoid sweater wearing kid that’s 7 years old, and in a forest. 

This is it, the casino. A metallic scraping interrupts my thoughts, coming from the hall of mirrors. The hell could it be?? Who knows. God knows why the owners of this hell bin made the hall of mirrors 4 floors. I’m going to check what that was out. I know myself that I'm not ready to see the interior. 

Empty. All of its empty. The floors are all missing. I can’t see the roof. No rubble, or anything. Where the hell did it all go? There is shattered glass everywhere, that’s for sure. Remnants of mirrors everywhere, and a bell chimes up above, and light radio static. Wait. There’s no music or speakers in here. What is here, new or broken? I hear a horrific scream echo through the room. A large creature crawls down from the ceiling. A bell on the end of its tail, and a speaker below their waist. Four arms, one of which mechanical, the one below seemingly solid shadow. The other two fused together, ending in large serrated claws. A TV welded to it’s chest, and a vinyl record in the shoulder. It slowly loomed down, closer and closer to me.  It grinned, showing sharp teeth from its pointed snout. A metal ear shifts downwards as it opens its only remaining eye, on a round glass screen where there once was a real one, the pupil shaped like a spade, like the playing cards. It finally spoke to me. “JacQUES?” It sounded horrific. Scratchy and hoarse, as if worn from screaming for nobody to even come. But how the hell did it know me? It couldn’t possibly be William. Could it? William, died in the hall of mirrors. But this thing wasn’t natural. “William? Is that you?” No answer. “William if that is you… What the hell happened?” It’s rusted joints creaked, and it lost its grin for just a moment before smiling wider. “dON’T YOu realize? mY BOY? I…?” It trailed off before continuing. “wHILE YOU SEEM TO REMEMBER ME, ARE YoU AWARE THAT? i’M THE coLLECtOr? I’M!! PERFECT!! DON’T YOU KNOW THAT?” 

I shake my head. “The collector huh?” He nods. It looks to be ready to speak again but I interrupt. “Listen, I. I don’t know what happened to you, but please know that I’m not here to harm you or anything of the sort. Got it? I want to help you, as you seem to um…” I look at the rusted limbs, that are made of scrap and barely functional, the obviously broken speakers. “Your not doing the best. Alright? Just, what can I help with?” He pauses, as if unsure how to take my kindness. Has nobody been kind to him like this? All 20 years? Or has he been all alone? That scratchy voice interrupts my thoughts. 

“YES YES YES!!! mY BOY!! A GOOD STEP WOULD BE A NEW ARM. OR LEG. MAYBE FinD THE KEY GOING TO THE SPEAKER. THAT USUALLY FIXES IT BUT I DROPPED A WHILE BACK :(“ I nodded, seeing how happy he is to get help. “Alright! I’ll be back as soon as I can to help!” I give a warm smile. He bounces back and forth in joy, waving what I presume is goodbye to me. “THANk you thank you!! IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK JACQUES!!” I give a small wave as I leave the building. An arm, a leg, and a key. An interesting list, but I can work with it. 

The casino door creaks open, having not been oiled in 2 decades. I’ve been dreading this moment as soon as I knew where I was. Well then. I walk up to the bar stools, but no smell of decay from… anything actually. That’s unexpected, but good at least. I walk behind the counter, careful to not disturb anything here. In the drawer, I remember him saying he wanted to give something to me. I open it, hesitantly. There’s a locket, and it’s painted wonderfully. It’s truly beautiful, with an odd glow. There’s a note inside, and I can see it’s written by Dove. I don’t have the willingness to read it right now, but I’ll put the box in my messenger bag for now. I put the locket on. It’s certainly warm for something that hasn’t been touched in who knows how long. 

I just realized something. This locket, it’s the one Dove has, the one he always wore. My head hurts. He gave it to me, before he died. He told me I could have it, hours prior. Did he know? Or feel that something was to go horribly wrong? I’m not even sure if my head hurts from the reality of Dove knowing he might have known he was to die, or the cup he just threw at me. 

Wait a second.

[tripstations]

Three Easy Ways You Can Still Make Your Time Off Feel Like A Real Vacation

Make your downtime feel like a real vacation

Flckr

Whatever your plans and commitment for the long labor day weekend, there are some great ways to transform your downtime into a vacation state of mind. We all imagine that by retreating to a hilltop villa or a beach resort we’ll escape our daily routines, reconnect and unwind.  So, why don’t we?

Being a billionaire won’t help either. It seems the further we travel, the more money we spend, and the longer we’re away, the higher our expectations and the greater our sense of disappointment.

The obstacles to getting away from it all are mostly of our own making. In the first place, we tend to sneakily pack our bags full of expectations, which we fail to declare or meet. Then, in this hyper-connected digital age, we play to all our neuroses and dysfunctions by importing our work lives and social networks on our smartphones.

Here are three ways I’ve found you can make the long weekend, or any downtime, a whole lot more fulfilling – and you don’t need to spend more money or travel any further than your back yard.

1. Set your intentions for your time away from work

This is as important if you’re spending the weekend alone as it is if you’re vacationing in a group. Be very clear about what it is you want from your time, both in terms of what you want to do and how you want it to feel. In other words, be honest with yourself and others. Perhaps you want to go sailing, experiment with a new diet, read a novel or practice yoga?  There’s still time.  Declare it.  And how would you like to feel when your weekend is over? More connected with your family, more in-tune with your partner, more relaxed in yourself, re-energized in your body? Great. Let them know.

If your partner wants an active weekend when you’re hoping for a restful one, both your needs can be met if you’re clear about them upfront.  Even when you do make yourself abundantly clear, your needs can easily get derailed by other peoples’ demands. But, when you keep your wishes secret, there is little chance of them ever being fulfilled.

2. Don’t take your office with you

It sounds so obvious. In pre-digital days, no one would dream of packing the word processor, fax machine, filing cabinets, and office phone with them on a trip to St Barths. But these days, we all do it, because all of these functions and many more besides, are packed into our phones. How can you possibly disconnect and unwind with all of that work noise happening on your handset?

I get that you need to be contactable, in case your mom breaks a hip or your CEO has a heart attack, so I advise clients to buy the cheapest phone you can, put your SIM card in it and let anyone who needs to know that in an emergency they can dial your number.  At the very least, this weekend, forward calls to a landline and switch your ‘phone to airplane mode.

3. Leave all social media behind

Managing Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat when you’re on vacation plays on all your insecurities and neuroses, leaving you feeling frayed. Turn your focus on your surroundings and yourself, or the people you’ve chosen to be with.  If you feel compelled to take pictures, by all means, pack a digital camera and snap away. You can post them later.  Posing for and posting images will distract you, and stop you savoring the long weekend.

Finally, there is no surer way to darken the mood of your downtime than by consuming movies and novels which are depressing. Instead, choose music, films, and books that are joyous and enriching. There is even music you can listen to without wifi or internet connection.

Emjoy!

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