#i do acknowledge Soul of Fire and Hang my Hat on You

[myfancyfandomlife]

browsed the otp:true Gaster/Reader tag tonight with one very specific "Additional Tag" (🌽) included and Souls Sin really is carrying in the holy year of 2024 💀

[ratcandy]

Subcon Forest Analysis

Hi everyone I'm here to spill my aggressive overflowing thoughts on Subcon Forest and what it represents because it's been driving me insane since I finished the Sleepy Subcon time rift. Okay let's go. Obvious spoilers for AHIT ahead so proceed with caution.

This is also very, very long.

Disclaimer/warning: I will be discussing abusive/unhealthy relationships in this analysis. I mean. Vanessa. Come on. Also, there is a section on the nooses, and that delves, of course, into mentions of suicide. It will be sectioned off and easily skipped, but if you'd rather be safe and skip the entire post, that's completely understandable! Please stay safe. <3

Alright. Main point to be had here:

Subcon Forest is a giant extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character.

You all get to now listen to me spout nonsense about metaphors and symbolism because I'm a sucker for analysis and I'm given an opportunity to go ham. So perish.

The Ice

Let's start with the most obvious and most glaring thing in Subcon. The ice. It's everywhere. Not just outside Vanessa's manor, either; no, it's throughout the village, too. Shows up in the well and in random locations sprinkled about. When it comes to literal plot, we know that ice is just what lingers after Vanessa's wintery curse on Subcon. But going deeper and analyzing the meaning behind it?

Well, let's look at this from the perspective I've suggested. Subcon Forest being an extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character. A symbol for Vanessa then litters his mind, enough where it's certainly noticeable at first but blends in more easily once more of Subcon is unlocked to Hat Kid. This is clearly meant to be his lingering trauma, whether or not he wants to acknowledge it. Which he doesn't, as he never mentions it directly in his forest (that I can recall). Her influence plagues him, as to be expected with the traumatic experiences he went through with her. Breaking the ice is something Hat Kid must do in order to fulfill the wishes of the Fire Spirits (another subject I'll get into shortly), which, if self-indulgently playing with the found family idea, could mean that Hat Kid is helping him heal; if indirectly. Even if fulfilling the Fire Spirits' wish to die is... counterproductive, in that measure, which I'm now getting ahead of myself so hold on a sec!!

Vanessa. Ice. Everywhere. Traces of it all over his forest. That's the effects of an abusive relationship! Especially in a worst-case scenario where... yknow! One party in the relationship dies! So of course ice would be everywhere.

In and of itself, ice is a common symbol in literature and other forms of media. In this case, it's presented as an antagonistic force; emphasis is placed upon freezing and the harm that comes with it. The cold is unwelcoming, threatening, merciless. Snow can act as an insulating force, at least, but ice cannot. It can only make things colder.

A slight stretch: Seeing as this game deals a lot with time shenaniganry, I'm not sure if it'd be too out of left field to connect "freezing" with the theme of time. Yknow. Frozen in time. Both parties here, Snatcher and Vanessa, would be in this frozen state. One largely repressing it and never fully moving on, and the other doomed to her isolation ever since the event in question. They never moved past that moment after the Prince and florist's interaction.

The Fire Spirits (& the Portraits)

I'll put a slight warning here for suicidal ideation, if only because... it's the Fire Spirits we're talking about. It's not as grossly in-detail as the noose discussion will be, though, so make of that what you will.

To me, the Fire Spirits are a very interesting case. After all, they're fire. They're a direct contrast to the ice, thus being the only thing we're shown that could potentially melt it. The Fire Spirits, in my opinion, represent hope or a strength to continue. A strength to move on after troubles of the past.

...And that hope wants to die.

The Fire Spirits wish to burn out, to leave this mortal coil and abandon the forest to the cold. They make no effort to melt the ice, they simply dance, blissfully ignorant towards their surroundings. This being a metaphor for Snatcher's own hope for moving on is made all the more obvious by the fact he wants them gone. The first contract is to kill the Fire Spirits, to kill the hope. Perhaps he believes that sort of thing to be fruitless or naïve, so it only clutters his mind or has him foolishly optimistic at points. So, get rid of it. And the hope is happy to oblige.

(That, or their willingness to leave the forest to its own suffering and not aid in the ice's thaw angers him. Besides the whole "bark bark growl I can't get to parts of my forest because of them!!" which... also could represent a naïve hope clouding his judgement, not allowing him to see a bigger picture. But hope can't all be lost if one wants to move forward...)

A little side-tangent now on the portraits! And it's another slight stretch but the idea is in my head and I can't let it go. Portraits are another common symbol, usually being a physical representation of a memory or idea. For our purposes, let's say they're memories. I know in canon they appear to just hold souls captive or something but for now we're just Ignoring That(tm). The Fire Spirits have to burn the portraits to disappear. See where I'm going with this, maybe?

Instead of handling bad memories (or perhaps memories of the past in general) in any healthy manner, Snatcher chooses to forget/repress them, which just allows his hope to progressively die out.

I'm really hoping this is making sense because it makes a lot of sense to me but I might be insane rn

The Fact that this is a Forest

Forest symbolism breakdown! What's a forest usually mean in literature? "Traditionally, the forest has come to represent being lost, exploration and potential danger as well as mystery and 'other worldliness'." Okay. Yeah. Fair enough. That certainly works with the whole aesthetic we've got going on. Wood usually is life, growth and strength. But the trees of subcon are all dead. So what about that? It stands for death, big whoop, very spooky, we know Snatcher's dead and so are the children, yadda yadda wowie wowie. But. :) The trees in Subcon look a lot like trees that were scorched in a forest fire. Don't believe me?

(You could also argue they're just regular marsh/swamp trees bUT SSHHSUUHSH HANG ON HEAR ME OUT LOOK LOOK,)

What I believe to have happened was a controlled fire to rid the forest of the majority of its ice and snow. Likely done by Snatcher. It leaves behind a very desolate, depressing, barren scene... but. What else do dead/burnt trees symbolize? Rebirth. After all, controlled fires happen to make way for new trees to take the place of old ones. Some trees only drop seeds in fires/hot temperatures, so new ones take root and begin anew. Weird. It's almost like... I dunno. Snatcher was given some sorta second chance, given he's not just a corpse in Vanessa's cellar. So were the subconites. Another life given then by Snatcher. All connected I tell ya!!

Generally, aside from that, forests have many connotations. Mystery, isolation, claustrophobia; a place to dwell on regrets, or the past; to worry over one's future; to seek escape from or escape inside of... hmgmrnmm!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The Nooses

The t/w is given at the top and another cut-off point will follow the bottom of this, for those that would like to skip. This will delve into talk of suicide and abusive tactics used by abusers. Please don't read if it will upset you or make you feel unsafe!!!

Personally, I cannot stand the nooses, but that's just due to my own triggers. Were there a way to hide those from the game or replace the damned talking ones with anything else. I would take it. In a heartbeat. But I can still appreciate the potential analysis to be had with them. So now i'm gonna talk about it despite how uncomfortable it will make me to do so. yEa

So, what about 'em? There are three types of nooses seen in Subcon. At least that I remember but I didn't really go looking for them. Empty ones, ones containing empty subconites, and the talking ones.

Nooses in general obviously can hint towards suicidal thoughts or behaviors of the characters that interact with them. If saying Subcon is Snatcher's mind, it could suggest that he suffered from some sort of suicidal thoughts in life (or currently, if second death is possible... or if he never truly died... or maybe he's trying to figure that out...which has given me... a separate idea...uh oh). But. And hear me out. Different perspective.

A talking noose. I hate them with a fiery passion that is unmatched. But think of the packed symbolism of a noose that talks. And think more about what it says. "I wouldn't mind being strapped around a cute neck like yours." "Be careful now, I don't want to see you meet a miserable end anywhere, but with me." Oddly, a lot of what the noose says seems almost... endearing? One could argue it's a way of luring someone to put it around their necks, which in and of itself is a whole lot to unpack when it comes to suicidal thoughts beckoning one forward; painting itself as something romantic, almost. But. Here's a wild idea, now. What if the nooses, at least the talking ones, are another symbol for Vanessa?

They're tinted blue, after all. While Vanessa's scheme is more red, one could argue two things: One, ice. Blue. Ice. yeah. Or two, the fact that Snatcher's scheme is more purple. Blue and red... make... purple. So, for all we know, Snatcher's current state was a compound effort between suicidal thoughts and Vanessa's treatment of him. Perhaps he even found a way to put himself out of his misery before freezing/starving to death. (I know he has dialogue that argues against that, but... are we certain Snatcher would be the kind to admit suicide over freezing to death?... I don't think so.)

At any rate, a common threat by those in "control" of an abusive relationship is that of killing themselves should the other person not do as they desire. It's a cruel form of emotional manipulation to get their way, worse off if the other party is an empathetic individual. As a person who has been the empathetic individual in relationships like this... I would know. I've been here, unfortunately So, it's not completely out of the question to say Vanessa could've used some tactic like that, even before the whole... cellar ordeal. Did she? I dunno. I'm tossing ideas around. But if she did, the threats of such would sit around in the Prince's mind easily. Even if she has a reputation of not going through with it. It doesn't matter. That shit sticks with you forever, that scare, the potential of it ever being true, is horrifying and it ruins you. I'm projecting, Squirtle.

Still. A noose cannot hang itself. It has to have a victim.

...yea.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W PASSED -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Misc. Ideas

- The spiders: Aside from the usual things spiders can be chalked up to symbolizing - toxicity, alluring danger, just... general pain - I like the potential wordplay that can happen here. Yknow. A black widow. Say the Prince and Vanessa were married when one died. What would that leave Vanessa? A widow. ...She's red and black, too. Yknow. Like a black widow. HA wordplay is fun isn't it?

- Snatcher's tree: Love this place, love sitting in here. But not the point! The inside of Snatcher's tree is such a harsh juxtaposition to the rest of Subcon that it kinda throws ya off guard. After all, the dark, purples and blues then contrasted with the bright warm colors of the inside. Even the music switches over. The thorns outside aren't present indoors. Ohh yeah this is gonna be on the nose as hell but the Tree(tm) is 100% representing Snatcher's appearance/put-on personality vs. his truer nature. Spooky outside with thorns, foreboding, unwelcoming. Then the more comfortable interior. VULnerable. Have I even mentioned that the tree is HOLLOW I mean COME ON. The sturdiness of that tree? Nonexistent. He's not a sturdy guy at all no matter how he fronts

- Intrusions are unwelcome: Snatcher does not like the fact that Hat Kid sticks around in his forest. His personal space. His mind. In fact he tries desperately to get rid of her after their fight, not wanting her presence in his forest at all. He has no problem providing more contracts later on with the Death Wish thing, and he finds great entertainment in messing around with Hat Kid, so it's not just a weird sudden hatred he has for her; it's the fact that. After she's finished being useful, he no longer wants her around, lest she find some things she shouldn't find. Now he's just uncomfortable with her in his personal boundaries. Could just be a denial that she's helped him heal (breaking ice, stealing from Vanessa, being something interesting for his kids to interact with) or just not really wanting a child to get wrapped up in. All that. Most likely the former. Considering the amount of joke-hints he drops regarding his background during his Death Wish dialogue. I see you funny man, making jokes out of your trauma as a coping mechanism. Punts him

Annnd I think that's all I got, for now! I'll make an update post if I get any more sporadic ideas. If you read this whole thing, thank you!! and also!! Wow that was a lot!! Hell world. Please feel free to elaborate on any of my points or debate with me on em!! I'm always open to other ideas, just be aware that if I disagree I am not shy when it comes to debate hehehe, tho I won't be aggressive to any extent I prommy!!

Alrighty. goes to sleep goodnight

[asmolbirb]

Pairing: Geralt/Jaskier Rating: T Word count: ~2500

Jaskier doesn’t start on the sweeter ballads until after he’s eaten his dinner and enjoyed a mug of ale. By then, the last vestiges of daylight have given way to inky darkness shot through with stars, and the innkeeper has stoked the fire to a roaring inferno, and the kind of lazy contentedness that accompanies a full belly has settled over the locals like a blanket, all of this working to create a decidedly more receptive audience for tender tales of lost love and distant adventure. So Jaskier looks around and notes how the conversation has dulled, and he begins picking out chords and runs, starting simple and working his way to more melancholy melodies.

He gets “Toss a Coin” out of the way early. It’s a crowd-pleaser and guaranteed to recoup the cost of his supper—and Geralt’s, when the Witcher deigns to join him—at least twice over. He fumbles his way through a couple of local ballads he’s still learning, about old spirits and familiar legends, and he tells the poeticized tale of a kikimora Geralt recently dispatched. And then, to end of his performance, he indulges himself with one of his more wistful ballads about love and heartbreak.

He has an alarmingly robust collection of those, and he rotates through them: the bittersweet lament about a love that slipped out of his reach; the tragic tale of the woman with no smile; the ode to the muse whose quick wit enthralled him only to leave him desolate, yearning, utterly alone. These ballads are too forlorn to see frequent use, but Jaskier has a soft spot for them. They tell his own story, after all. It’s cathartic to lose himself in the movement of his fingers across the strings of his lute, the plaintive runs that bookend his choruses. And the ballads have the added bonus of occasionally attracting a barmaid sympathetic to his plight and willing to help him forget his sorrows.

By the time he and Geralt pay for a room in a town where the air is sticky with humidity and sharp with the faint scent of seawater, it’s been more than a month since his last tumble with an eager barmaid, and Jaskier is thrumming with excess energy. He works his way through three ballads that night before noticing he’s picked up an audience.

“She must have stolen your heart quite thoroughly,” says one of the women lingering near Jaskier and Geralt when Jaskier finally shakes himself out of his trance, “to have inspired three ballads.”

“She is the beauty of my world,” Jaskier agrees. He begins packing up his lute; he’s indulged himself enough tonight. “My ballads capture only a fraction of her splendor.”

“Tell us about her, then,” says a barmaid, and the rest of Jaskier’s audience sends up a chorus of agreement. “She’s a lucky woman to have caught your attention.”

Geralt, who has been silent until now, snorts. “Yes, Jaskier, tell us. I can’t wait to hear about the fair lady who has caught your eye,” he says dryly, and it’s only because Jaskier is now fluent in Geralt’s sparse manner of speaking that he hears the words Geralt isn’t saying, hears you’ve been on the road with me for a month, how will you spin your way out of this?

Jaskier meets Geralt’s gaze without flinching. He grins slightly, casts his eyes over his captive audience, all hanging off his every word. “I’m not one to kiss and tell,” he begins, affecting wistfulness, “but she deserves to be told about.” Minding his pronouns, he continues, “She’s incredible. The kindest soul I’ve ever met. Her nobility is unparalleled. She would never leave a debt unpaid, nor a soul in harm’s way. She is unafraid to face any danger, be it a dragon or a man sick with corruption.”

He catches Geralt’s eye again, but the other man doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss. He lets Geralt’s lack of reaction embolden him. “She doesn’t say much. It is my punishment, I suppose, for barging into her life the way I did, that I must interpret her moods from her expressions alone.” He sighs dramatically, letting his eyelids flutter and his lips fall into a besotted smile. “But how exquisite those expressions are, and how I delight in coaxing them upon her face.”

“To hell with that sappy bullshit,” says one of the women sitting near him. “You speak in metaphors enough in your ballads. What does she look like? Is she noble or a commoner?”

Jaskier swallows. Involuntarily, he glances at Geralt, but the Witcher only looks amused, still waiting for Jaskier’s lies to fall apart. Jaskier understands his amusement. From Geralt’s perspective, Jaskier hasn’t properly courted a woman since the Countess de Stael.

Just as well for Jaskier, then, that Geralt hasn’t yet figured out the true object of his affections. “She’s fair-haired,” he says now to his audience. “With locks that reflect the sun like a thousand mirrors, and eyes golden as honeycombs. Taller than me, but with hips as slender as any child’s. And a bottom round as an apple,” he throws in with a cheeky wink. “She isn’t a noble, but she’s no commoner, either. She isn’t the type to sit back and let others do her work for her. She is strong—stronger than I, that’s for certain.” And he has to pause here as he remembers the way Geralt has thrown him over shoulder, has hauled him across terrain both rough and smooth with naught more than a grip on his collar. He swallows shakily, wills himself not to look at Geralt, though he can see out of his periphery that Geralt is staring at him now, intently, brow furrowed, lips thinned. Nonetheless, Jaskier continues digging his grave. Can’t leave his audience waiting, of course. 

“She isn’t one for tender touches,” he admits. “But still, she tolerates mine. I confess, I often wonder why she allows me to grace her side.”

“Perhaps you offer a nocturnal performance worth suffering the rest,” suggests one of the barmaids, and the others cackle in agreement. Jaskier simply shrugs. 

“Perhaps,” he acknowledges. Unable to help himself, he sneaks another glance toward Geralt, only to find Geralt’s intense glare trained directly on him. Try as he might, Jaskier can’t tear his eyes away. “Perhaps she keeps me around as a bedwarmer,” he continues slowly, his eyes locked on Geralt’s, “until she finds someone who is sweeter than me, or until she grows tired of my antics. Perhaps I am naught but temporary entertainment. But I adore her, truly. The sight of her is as water to a man lost in a desert, and her touch is softer than the finest Toussaintian silk.”

Geralt growls at that. He stands up abruptly, his chair skidding across the floor with a screech. “Say good night, Jaskier,” he rumbles, his eyes narrowed. “We have business of our own to attend to.”

Jaskier swallows. Finally, he looks away, back at his enraptured audience. “That’s enough for tonight, I suppose,” he concedes good-naturedly. “You’ll have to wait for the next ballad to hear more, though it won’t be long until I write it. My lady is too exquisite to keep her name from my lips for long.”

Geralt’s voice rumbles again, wordlessly, before Jaskier can get lost in his own words again. He claps a large hand on Jaskier’s shoulder, using it to steer him toward the stairs and their room. “Sweet dreams, ladies!” Jaskier calls over his shoulder, doffing his hat clumsily. “May you be luckier in love than I!”

Geralt doesn’t slam the door behind him, but it’s a near thing, and Jaskier would wince in sympathy if Geralt’s hand wasn’t still bearing down on his shoulder, rooting him in place. Geralt lets go after a moment and leans against the door, his arms crossed in typical Geraltian fashion. Jaskier collapses onto the bed, taking the opportunity to roll his shoulder a few times in exaggerated discomfort. “I swear I end up with more bruises than you do sometimes,” he complains. “I understand misery loves company, but perhaps next time you feel the urge to rough someone up, you could find another monster. Plenty of those around, and frankly, we could do with the extra coin, seeing as someone kept me from buttering up the crowd to fatten our purses tonight—”

“There’s no lady,” Geralt says.

Jaskier trails off. “Well, of course not,” he says instead. “I imagine a woman would take grave offense to the frequency with which we give our patronage to brothels, not to mention your unseemly habit of bathing in monster blood and other revolting gunk.” He wrinkles his nose. “Perhaps I should write an ode to your masterful powers of observation next.”

“But you were talking about a woman tonight,” Geralt continues, ignoring Jaskier entirely. He tries not to take offense to that. Something tells him that any protest he offers will be utterly disregarded. “The same one your ballads are about, the one who broke your heart and left you wanting.”

Warmth blooms, unbidden, in Jaskier’s heart. Geralt has been listening to his songs. Geralt remembers his lyrics. Geralt knows enough about Jaskier’s lyrics to notice the details consistent through them all.

Geralt knows Jaskier is in love.

The warmth transforms instantly into a spear of ice, chilly tendrils spreading through Jaskier’s chest and pulsing through his veins even as he says, with false cheer, “They’re stories, Geralt. Hyperbole. I’m a poet. It’s what I do. Heartbreak is a universal emotion, and the gods know I’ve experienced it often enough in my short time upon this mortal coil. I could write songs about heartbreak in my sleep—and just you watch, I’ll be doing it tonight, you’ve really dug your own grave with this, my friend.”

“Hm,” Geralt grunts. He pushes off the door and stalks towards Jaskier, stopping just inches from the bed and forcing Jaskier to crane his neck to keep looking Geralt in the eye. Briefly, Jaskier considers climbing to his feet as well, to be on even ground with Geralt. However, doing so would place him chest-to-chest with the other man, and that isn’t something Jaskier can physically handle right now. So he stays put, his heart hammering wildly against his rib cage, and he’s certain Geralt, with his enhanced hearing, must be deafened by the sound.

“Someone once told me,” Geralt starts slowly, “that all good stories stem from a kernel of truth. So either your stories are shit, or you aren’t telling me the truth. Which is it, Jaskier?”

And here’s the problem with traipsing across the Continent behind a Witcher like a lost puppy, Jaskier reflects. He’s experienced a lifetime of adventure and filled uncountable notebooks with lyrics and learned more about Geralt than possibly any other being on the planet. But then, Geralt has had ample opportunity to peer into Jaskier’s soul, too. It’s easy to get caught up in Geralt’s brawn, and his stony silence, and his aversion to emotional commitment. It’s easy to forget how perceptive Geralt can be.

“The former, obviously,” quips Jaskier, a little breathlessly, a little too quietly. He wants to look away, wants to find an escape route, but Geralt is magnetic. Jaskier could drown in those golden eyes. And all the while he’s still running his mouth, trying to stave off the inevitable. “I’m all pie crust and no filling, didn’t you know? It’s a wonder I manage to earn enough to pay for a warm meal and a bed at the end of the day. That’s why I keep you around, actually. For your income. Certainly not for the riveting conversation. Certainly not because I—because I need you.”

“And yet,” Geralt murmurs, reaching out to tip Jaskier’s chin up with a single knuckle, “here we are.”

When did Jaskier’s mouth get so dry? He licks his lips, watches Geralt’s eyes dip down to track the motion. “Here we are.”

Jaskier doesn’t know whether to close his eyes to give Geralt implicit consent or leave them open to track every emotion crossing Geralt’s face, doesn’t know whether to lean into Geralt’s touch or pull away and offer Geralt an out. Instead he waits, pulse racing, teetering on the edge of a cliff, waiting for the slightest gust of wind to send him careening into freefall.

And it comes: a shallow breath against his lips, before Geralt’s mouth is covering his, stealing a kiss and Jaskier’s breath in one fell swoop. He doesn’t pull back, doesn’t give Jaskier a chance to collect himself before he’s surging in again, teeth tugging gently at Jaskier’s lips and coaxing a gasp from him, tongue pushing past the moment Jaskier’s lips part. It’s heady and intoxicating, and Jaskier can feel his mind going fuzzy as he focuses solely on matching Geralt’s intensity.

Somehow they end up horizontal, with Jaskier’s feet still dangling off the edge of the bed and Geralt on his hands and knees above Jaskier. Geralt presses close, his weight pinning Jaskier down, and Jaskier thinks there’s no place he would rather be than right here, Geralt’s thighs bracketing his, falling into a sweet messy rhythm that has Jaskier arching his back and scrabbling uselessly at Geralt’s broad torso and keening into Geralt’s mouth. Eventually he gives in and tosses his head back, opening his neck to Geralt’s ministrations and giving himself over entirely to the quicksilver pleasure coursing through him.

Once they’ve stilled and caught their breath, Geralt moves just far enough to drag Jaskier fully onto the bed and no further. He continues stealing sweet kisses, seemingly determined to swallow all the air from Jaskier’s lungs before letting him go.

“You’re not temporary entertainment,” Geralt rumbles an eternity later against Jaskier’s lips, their breath mingling. Jaskier revels in that simple phrase and the intimate action that accompanied it, feels his blood singing with the knowledge that Geralt reciprocates his feelings, might want Jaskier as a permanent fixture by his side—until Geralt continues, “You’ve never been entertaining.”

“Oi, fuck off!” Jaskier gasps in mock indignation. He pushes himself away and braces a hand against Geralt’s chest to keep him at arm’s length. “You weren’t complaining about my performance just now!”

But Geralt is laughing quietly, his whole body shaking against Jaskier’s, and Jaskier lets himself be pulled back into Geralt’s arms, lets Geralt kiss his anger away. His last thought before he launches a campaign to make Geralt regret his words is an apology to the women he’d been singing to in the tavern below; his next ballad may be a long time coming yet.

[spookyfloof]

A Mistletoe Too Far - (LizardHat Christmas story)

Villainous/Hazbin Hotel crossover

---

I wrote this as a Christmas present to @striped-menace last year but never got around to posting it on here.

Summary: Someone plays a Christmas-themed prank on Black Hat, but of course he has the last laugh.

Rating: M (explicit sexual content)

Note: No HH characters are specifically mentioned, but they are referenced. 

---

Black Hat squinted at the offending plant perched above him. Who would actually be stupid enough to hang mistletoe in his manor? 

The three likely culprits stood around him; Dementia delighted, Flug frightened, and 505 simply surprised.

Their boss’s eyes grated in their sockets like rusty metal on tarmac as he looked to each of them in turn. 

Flug wouldn't dare. But the other two...

“Oh bon-bon! I thought you hated mistletoe~,” Demencia cooed as she fluttered her dark eyelashes.

His teeth flashed an unmistakable warning.

“Do not start...” he growled, “Take it down.”

“Of course, sir! Right away!” Flug squeaked and beckoned his beloved blue bear to snatch it from the ceiling.

When he did, the scientist crumpled it in his hands and threw it in a nearby trash bin, even going so far as to set the bin on fire with one of the many conveniently placed blowtorches.

“Taken care of, sir!” he said with a gulp, “Anything else we can do for you?

Black Hat crossed his arms and again scrutinized his admittedly motley crew of employees. Demencia pouted at the burning trash but even she and the idiot 505 knew better than to try something like this.

“No,” he grunted out finally. “Get back to work.”

Once he disappeared from the room, Flug nearly fainted into 505′s side. It was too early for this...

“You didn't put that up, did you?” He asked under his breath and the bear shook his head.

“Brawr?"

"I thought so."

He spotted Demencia about to slip out of the room but yelled after her.

As she heard her name, she rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue, but refused to turn around.

“What?”

“Why on Earth did you do that?! I knew you were insane but I didn't know you had a death wish!?”

She whipped around and glared. “What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what! Hanging the mistletoe over Black Hat!"

She scoffed. “I didn't do that.”

“Of course you did.”

She squared her shoulders as she got closer to him. Despite himself, he backed away, but she pushed him in the chest with one gloved finger. 

“No, bag boy, I learned my lesson last time.”

It was true. She'd tried to get their boss to kiss her by hanging mistletoe two Decembers ago and the result landed her at least two broken ribs and an entire wing of the manor in need of remodeling.

Flug studied Demencia's face for any trace of a lie but she didn't crack. If anything she wanted to crack his skull for accusing her. If she was gonna get blamed for something, it better be something she actually did. She had better ways to spend her time.

“It really wasn't you?” he asked, his tone still just as skeptical.

“Duh! It was probably you, asshole! You love to see me get in trouble.”

“Me?! I would never do something that stupid.”

She leveled her eyes with his and raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?”

“No!” he began but caught himself. He had tried framing her for pranks like this more than once...

Flug cleared his throat. “Fine. Maybe I have, but this wasn't me! I don't feel like dying today! Not a week before Christmas.” It was one of 505′s favorite holidays after all.

She rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Well somebody did and it wasn't me.” She emphasized the declaration by sticking her tongue out and walking away with her head held high, her long green hair curling on the floor behind her. “You two can figure it out among yourselves.”

It happened again the next day, and again the next. Only once on each day and only when Demencia happened to be in the room, but not a soul in Hat Manor had an answer for these appearances. No amount of threats or dismembering got Black Hat anywhere.

So he stopped acknowledging the mistletoe. He stopped yelling at his employees and robots. Wouldn't even spare the little piece of Christmas tradition a cursory glance. Any and all that manifested in his presence simply shriveled into a lifeless black husk that crumbled to ash upon his arrival.

And no one said a word about it.

It was two days until Christmas when Black Hat had finally had enough.

Early in the morning, before sunlight had even graced the horizon, he materialized into Demencia’s quarters. She slept strapped to her slab of a bed by mechanical arms. He flicked on a light and gazed around the dull room with something of a scowl on his face. He never came down here much. He had no reason to, and seeing how boring it was only reinforced that choice. The only notable decoration was a shrine with Black Hat’s picture in a heart shaped frame at the center.

He was sure he’d destroyed that already, but chose to let it be.

Black Hat cleared his throat.

“Demencia,” he called out to her sleeping form and she started to stir. She was a heavy sleeper.

He got close enough to touch her and watched as she twitched and murmured slightly in her sleep.

He leaned down to her pierced ear and tried again.

“Wake up!”

With that, she jolted awake.

“Wha! Black Hat! I didn’t do it!” she insisted with a slur before even laying eyes on her beloved.

“I have good news for you,” he said through a grin, “You’re going to help me.”

Demencia blinked in his direction and licked her dry lips. She realized she’d been drooling and tried discreetly to wipe her chin on the shoulder of her oversized t-shirt.

But the sound of Black Hat’s good news perked her right up.

“Anything for you, handsome,” she crooned and Black Hat did his best not to roll his eyes, though he did flick them up to the ceiling. Just as he thought, there hovering between Demencia and Lord Black Hat was yet another sprig of mistletoe.

His smile brightened at her.

“Wonderful. Now, I’ve been thinking... I haven’t been quite in the Christmas spirit lately and I think it’s time we fix that, hmm?”

Demencia’s head tilted as she looked at him, an eyebrow slightly cocked.

“Yes?”

“Good! I’m glad you agree!”

He wasn’t usually this enthusiastic about something unless it involved killing or taking someone’s soul.

“We’re going to start with that mistletoe there.” He gestured with his chin and her face lit up as she started putting the pieces together.

“You mean it?!”

She wriggled in her bonds with unabashed excitement.

He chuckled darkly. “I do.”

“We’re finally going to kiss?!” Demencia all but squealed.

“Yes. In a matter of speaking,” he said but didn’t elaborate, “Are you ready?”

And though Demencia didn’t fully understand, anything to do with Black Hat and her kissing had to be a good thing!

“I’m so ready!”

She then closed her eyes and pursed her lips the way she’d practiced countless times in preparation for this very moment. She knew it was only a matter of time before he returned her affection!

While her eyes were still closed, he moved towards the center of her “bed” and climbed up, moving her legs apart to position himself between them.

Demencia was actually blushing. “Black Hat? What are you doing?”

He lifted a finger to his lips to shush her before pulling up the hem of her shirt, revealing only a black and red thong underneath.

Her eyes incredulous and wide, she watched as one of his hands turned to claws and with a simple flick of his finger, tore the thong right off.

Black Hat gave her a smile dripping with saliva and lifted her legs into the air by her thighs. Without warning, his inhuman tongue snaked out from behind his toothy grin and took one long, thorough lick over the entirety of her vulva.

Demencia squeaked but didn’t dare to protest even if she wanted to.

So he latched his mouth to her pussy lips and went to town, his tongue wriggling over and between every fold and crevice between her legs.

Demencia found herself wishing she could move her arms but settled for clawing at the surface of her bed.

She moaned and black hat laughed, taking her response as an invitation to go further. His tongue buried itself deep inside her and she gasped. But something else was toying with her clit. She couldn’t see it, but it felt like another, smaller tongue, just as warm and slimy circling and teasing that bundle of nerves.

“Black Hat!”

She couldn’t take much more of this. She’d always imagined what this would feel like with him, but she never imagined he’d do it like this.

His tongue both managed to scrape over her g-spot and hug that spot deep inside her she could only reach with one of her specially ordered dildos.

She bit her lower lip, hard enough for the trace of blood to reach her tongue.

“Ah! Black Hat…I…Please!”

Possessed by the assault of pleasure, she squeezed her thighs around him and score claw marks into the bed. She never thought she’d see heaven, what with being a villain and all, yet here she was, Black Hat escorting her there as her very own grim reaper.

---

Far below the reaches of heaven, far below even the depths of Hat Manor, unknown to Demencia or even Black Hat – though he had a hunch – was a pale man with rosy red cheeks and a smile like a wood chipper sitting in bed in the tallest tower in Hell. Only he wasn’t smiling. Instead his nose crinkled and his lips pressed into a crooked frown. His yellow eyes were fixed on a glowing screen on the other side of the room.

Steam emanated into the room from the adjacent bathroom, along with the steady sound of running water.

Without looking away, he turned his head towards it and called out with unmistakable resignation.

“Honey?”

From the shower, a tall and graceful woman with long blonde hair and two daunting horns replied.

“Yes, dear?”

“Remind me to tell the servants to remove any mistletoe from the premises.”

She paused lathering her hair and he continued to stare at the screen.

“Why?” she asked, “You love mistletoe.”

He hesitated on an emotion…something like regret, but managed to tell her with conviction, “I’ve decided I prefer poinsettias.”

[funny-mlb-screenshots]

My Favorite ML Fics (With links and descriptions)

One Thing After Another - Marinette notices that, sometimes, Adrien acts a little out of the ordinary--like the time he stood in a cardboard box for no reason, or when he actually hissed at Nino. It's only when she starts to notice the similarities between Adrien and a certain feline that she begins to get suspicious.

Basically, Adrien acts like a cat when he probably shouldn't.

Back to Us - After a reveal so shocking it rocks the core of Paris itself, the villain Hawk Moth is finally defeated...at a great personal cost to heroes Ladybug and Chat Noir. With the city safe, they go their separate ways, returning to the lives they were forced to put on hold since receiving their Miraculous.

Now, seven years later, Marinette Dupain-Cheng is on the rise, studying at the fashion college of her dreams by day, working at her dream internship by afternoon...and occasionally moonlighting as Ladybug by night. This routine is set so firmly in place that, once it's shattered by an old-yet-new enemy, and the reappearances of a cold friend and a hot partner, the whiplash threatens to send Marinette spiraling down into chaos.

As Ladybug, she can do anything...but soon those limits will be tested, whether she is in or out of the costume

Truthful Scars - Adrien Agreste has never been an expert in controlling his emotions. When feelings for his classmate in pigtails begin to arise, he can't stop himself from seeing her any chance he gets—even when wearing a pair of cat ears and a black tail. Although his affections are strong and true, he doesn't exactly know how to deal with them, especially under the watchful eye of his father.

After all, what's a boy to do when he accidentally finds out that the girl he's got a crush on returns his feelings?

 [Obsession - Miraculous has unintended side effects. A chance encounter leaves Chat Noir in Marinette's magic hands. Scritch and scratch, this kitty has needs. MariChat.

Glaze - He watched her fade, right before his eyes, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Quiver - Spring in Paris, a time for flowers and love, for fashion and passion. But heated blood can lead to dangerous decisions and Adrien’s about to discover how hard things can be. Hawk Moth is on the horizon. COMPLETE]

Smoulder - Marinette traced her fingers down the smooth lines of the magazine, a blush creeping to her face. It wasn’t just his toned, muscular body that set her aflame, although that was certainly a bonus. It was his eyes. The way his body appeared, languid like a summers day. His body said relax but his eyes said devour. From the pages of the advertisement, Adrien smouldered in a way that he’d never done during any of his other numerous photographs, and yet she was struck with a familiarity that made her skin tingle, made her swallow with sudden and surprising nervousness. She was sure she’d seen that expression somewhere before. A pair of green eyes looking at her like that, with an unknown question in his hungry gaze. She’d seen that smoulder before.

In which Adrien loses a bet and becomes an underwear model, Marinette loses her mind, and the whole fiasco starts a fire which might lead to the pair discovering their identities.

Telltale -  It all starts with a simple injury, but slowly Ladybug begins to really see who Chat Noir is, and Adrien begins to see Marinette…

Pick-Up and Chase - After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just desserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans. A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it

Won’t Tell a Soul - Nino accidentally runs head long into the biggest most stressful secret he can imagine, but now that he knows the truth about Marinette he is determined to help her in any way he can.

Serendipitous Fate Adrien is excited to reveal his true identity, while Marinette is terrified. But Master Fu says they can't afford to be distant any longer. Chat Noir and Ladybug are meant to work in tandem both in and out of uniform, their strength stemming from the bond created between them. Yet, teenagers are sometimes better at dancing blind than running with wide open eyes, even with the steps laid out before them.

Steps in the path of an expanding world. Apart, they'll flounder. But together, they might just stand a chance.

Anywhere, I wouldve followed you - Indygodusk "Just because you care for something, doesn't mean you get to keep it."

Lately, Marinette's luck has been failing her. No one's guessed her secret identity yet, but after Hawk Moth escalates his attacks, she decides it's time to finally tell Chat Noir. Unfortunately, it's not that easy. To make things worse, her home life is falling apart, college is looming, and she can't keep a boyfriend. Secretly, Marinette's not sure she even wants to be Ladybug anymore.

Adrien's life isn't faring much better, especially after dark secrets about his mother come to light.

Then the unthinkable happens. Afterwards, both Adrien and Marinette have to make their own luck. In the process, they defeat the bad guy and make their dreams come true (even if those dreams weren't what they thought they'd be).

Sting - When Chat Noir inexplicably disappears, leaving Ladybug bee-hind to face Papillon on her own, a new wielder is chosen to keep the akuma from swarming. Ladybug is adamant she doesn’t want another partner buzzing around and why is this new-bee flirting with her?

Meanwhile, Adrien just wishes Ladybug would stop bugging out and listen to him because his bee puns are fuzz-tastic.

The repercussions of the bee are farther reaching than anyone realised.

The Parts of You - “I just…” Her hands migrated from covering her face to clutching her hair. Her ears matched her suit but her eyes were glowing with — what was that? Love? Admiration? His chest tightened. “I can’t talk to him! I always get tongue-tied, or say something stupid, or trip over my own feet. It’s so embarrassing! I mean, I’ve gotten better since we first met, like, we’re actually kind of friends now, but it’s kind of a big leap to go from ‘I can sort of string more than two words together in front of you,’ to ‘Please date me, I love you,’ you know?” His breath hitched at the word “love,” but Ladybug didn’t seem to notice. “Plus, it’s not like we’re super-close or anything. I mean,” she tittered nervously, “we’ve known each other for years, but it’s not like talking to you.”

If words could have killed him he would have been in his grave.

In which Identity Shenanigans™ make everyone's life way harder than it has to be.

Breeze - Marinette sobbed into her hands as she recalled Chloé’s hurtful words, each and every one of them.

“You’re nothing! You’re not even worth yourself, much less your so-called friends! Don’t you see they just hang out with you because they pity you?! You’re worth the dirt under my feet, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. And you have no right to speak to me like that, you pathetic little brat. You don’t even have the right to speak to anyone! Just keep your stupid thoughts and ideas to yourself because nobody wants to hear them!”

After a big fight with Chloé, Marinette finds herself sobbing on her bed. The words hit her deep down. And before she knows it a dark Akuma comes fluttering in, ready to introduce her to Hawkmoth…

Technical Difficulties - “Man,” Nino groans, accepting defeat at last, as he gives the golden elevator doors a vicious, vengeful kick. Just like that, he remembers his present company.

Nino turns chagrined eyes to Ladybug.

“Er. Sorry… Probably shouldn’t take it out on the doors?”

Ladybug doesn’t seem to hear him. She is staring hard at the security camera located in the corner. He’s never seen her so quiet… not that he’s seen much of her, that is. Definitely not this close.

Damn, he can’t help but think. What Adrien wouldn’t give to be here right now.

“I’m sure they’ll fix it soon,” Nino offers tentatively, because it seems like something Adrien might say. Or Ladybug, probably, if she weren’t so distracted.

“They will,” she acknowledges, but her eyes are still pretty far away. “That’s what I’m worried about.”

“What?“

Ladybug straightens. She makes a decision; it does really pretty things to her eyes, so Nino doesn’t hear her at first, when she asks him for his hat.

— In which Ladybug gets trapped in an elevator with... Nino. { LoveSquare, brotp!MariNino, all-around-friendship!fic } Prompt:Trapped in an Elevator.

 Curiosity and Satisfaction - When Adrien agreed to this line of work, he thought all his focus would be on the job of catching the elusive Lady Luck. It never crossed his mind that someone else would catch his attention.

 Turn Loose the Mermaids - Marinette should have dragged him under the water in and feast on his body when she had the chance. Maybe then she wouldn't have been his prisoner. Blasted pirate.

That awkward moment when… - “Marinette wasn’t an idiot. As many precautions as she insisted they take, she knew she and Chat Noir were both going to find out sooner or later. Of course, Marinette assumed that the way they’d found out wasn’t by running right smack into each other and detransforming in front of the other. So of course, in a typical calm and rational manner, they pointed to each other and screamed.”

Because, nine times out of ten, letting the cat out of the bag just ends up being very, very awkward.

Tandem - Two students get carried away in a friendly game of dodge ball.... and two other students get very suspicious

Best Frenemies - Marinette Dupain-Cheng leads a double life. It’s often difficult, but it’s the only way to protect the people she cares about. But when her rival, Chloé Bourgeois, discovers her most closely guarded secret, she finds the two separate aspects of her identity blending together… but maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It can be nice sharing the journey with someone even if it's the last person she ever expected to trust with her secrets.

Chloé Bourgeois leads a double life. It’s often difficult, but it’s the only way to protect the people she cares about. But when her rival, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, discovers her most closely guarded secret, she finds the two separate aspects of her identity blending together… but maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It can be nice sharing the journey with someone even if it's the last person she ever expected to trust with her secrets.

The Date - They had a simple deal: one date. Chat had one date to sweep Ladybug off her feet. If she still didn’t like him in that way at the end of the day, he’d give up his attempts altogether. Ladybug took the deal, knowing that her heart belonged to another.

But we know them too well.

Wherever I Go - Marinette accidentally gives her class the impression that she has a crush on Chat Noir.

Adrien decides it's time to get over Ladybug.

Ne Me Quitte Pas - “This is my umbrella,” Adrien told him, as though he didn't quite believe it and the words would bring some sense to it.

“Even I could have told you that,” the kwami said with a shrug, his focus returning to his meal.

“Why did she keep my umbrella?” he asked, only half-directing the question at Plagg.

The kwami, however, chose to answer anyway. “Well, she is your friend, isn't she?” he asked as he finally gave in and stuffed the cheese in his mouth. He swallowed, closing his eyes in satisfaction. “What's so weird about it?”

Bring Me Home - Everybody deals differently with the consequences of Hawkmoth's defeat.

The day after, Ladybug eagerly awaits her silly kitty, finally ready to hand him her heart and start a new chapter of their story with him. He never shows up.

The day after, Adrien Agreste shuts the whole world out, ashamed of his father's action, while Marinette grows more and more exhausted and depressed as the years go by.

Five years later, can anything really be salvaged out of the remnants of their relationship?

Kitten Therapy - After scoring the highest points in a stress level test at school Marinette and Adrien have to take 'recreational hours' in order to prevent being akumatized. It seems like a long awaited break for them until Ayla hacks into CCTV and discovers …?

Mostly fluff. Especially the kittens.

Eperdument - All the pieces are starting to fit together, as much as Marinette doesn't want them to fit. As much as she desperately fights against seeing the signs, sometimes the cat refuses to stay in the bag.

And sometimes the cat kwami refuses to stay out of her lunch bag.

I Didn’t Want it to be Like This - There was always the possibility that someone would find out. Marinette, Paris’s very own Ladybug, knew that it was a high chance. Eventually someone was going to put two and two together.

The Most Eloquent Reply - Deaf Marinette

MDR - Marinette liked not knowing much about her online friends. With the arrival of a newcomer to their group chat, they suddenly start to believe that she has a crush on herself, no matter how obvious she tries to make it that she likes someone else. AU.

[angrycowboys]

trust me (dean/cas)

15.09 coda - angst, hurt/comfort, first kiss, love confessions, hopeful ending

(ao3 link)

He's in his room when Cas knocks on his open door. He's not actively avoiding either of them, he just — needed some time alone. To think. About everything. Cas had seemed to sense that when they got back to the bunker. They'd just sat in silence at the kitchen table for a long time. He didn't try to engage him in any kind of conversation, but it was a comfortable silence, unlike the past few weeks and months when they could barely look at each other, when they'd felt miles apart even when they were standing in the same room. It's like he knew that his prayer had taken everything out of him, wrung him dry of words, of everything he's kept inside for so long, for his whole life, and had never been able to say out loud to anyone. Until it was like he couldn't hold it in anymore, like it was ripped out of him just from pure desperation and hopelessness. Leaning against a tree in Purgatory, barely able to hold his own body weight up, spilling his guts and his soul to Cas, even though he didn't know if he could hear him, if he was already dead, gone, but needing to say it, while he still could, before it was too late. Even if there was only a ghost of a chance.

He'd felt so helpless, calling his name, wandering around futilely in the vast, wild expanse of forest, thinking he'd never find him, or worse. There was a part of him that knew that if he couldn't find Cas before their time ran out, he wouldn't have had the strength to step through the portal alone. He would've just stayed there. Let the world end. Because what would be the point?

And then there was the pure relief of seeing him there and alive again. He almost didn't want to let him go. But he needed to know he'd heard him. But Cas had stopped him, that understanding look in his eyes, like he knew how hard that was for him. Like he was grateful but he didn't need him to say it again. And Dean had just felt something warm and bright flare up inside of him. Just for a moment but it knocked his entire world sideways. It wasn't anger for once. Or desperation or defiance or self-destruction or any of the other countless feelings he'd disguised for the real thing throughout his entire life. It was something he hadn't felt for a long, long time. Maybe not ever.

And then it was all offset again hours later — by Chuck, by the plan not working, by Sammy's vision of the future. And it's like everything he's done, to get Cas back, to keep them together, to fight this, was all for nothing. Because they're going to lose. They were always going to lose.

He's been slowly pacing the length of the room for an hour like a spectre, turning everything over in his head, a glass grasped in his hand that's barely touched his lips. He knows he can't dull this feeling anymore. Maybe he doesn't even want to try.

He sets it down now, looking up at Cas, as he crosses the threshold of the room, standing right in front of him.

"You okay?" Cas asks, his face worn and downcast. He looks how Dean feels. Purgatory gets inside your bones, they both know that, and missing their only shot at Chuck was a heavy blow to all of them.

Dean brushes off the question. Cas already knows he's not okay. None of them are okay. And there's no use in trying to hide anything anymore. "I should be asking you that. You're the one who had to fend off Leviathans by yourself and still managed to grab the flower."

Cas just tilts his head slightly in acknowledgment. "I'd probably feel better about that if it wasn't a complete waste."

"Hey, wasn't a complete waste. We know what Chuck's endgame is now. That's something." He knows he doesn't sound as confident as he's trying his hardest to.

Cas just gives him an encouraging look like he knows exactly what he's doing.

"You were right. We'll figure something else out. We always do." He doesn't know if Cas really believes it or if he's just trying to do exactly what Dean's trying to do, make them both feel better in impossible circumstances. It's what they always say, it's what they have to say, because otherwise they're just left with nothing.

Dean just nods at him absently for a few moments, not really looking at him, and then he just feels something break inside him just like it did back in Purgatory and his stoic expression completely falters again.

"Sam told me, uh, in the visions — Of the future or whatever. That you took the Mark. And then we had to bury you in the Ma'lak box…" He looks right up into Cas's eyes, his own already prickling with more unshed tears; it's like there are permanent cracks now in his armour, with no anger and blame left to seal them up. Everything's risen up to the surface inside of him and it's spilling free. Maybe it should make him feel weak, but it just makes him feel more human, more real. Chuck may be controlling everything else, but his pain and his fight and his relentless need to hold on to his family at all costs belong to him. They're his and his alone and nothing can take that away.

Cas just looks startled for a moment before his face settles again, into almost quiet resignation. And that just makes it even worse. Cas is always so damn willing to jump into the fire for them, for him, always willing to accept his fate, out of guilt or misplaced loyalty or — love, and he's always so fucking ungrateful.

"Dean —" Cas says in a low exhale. He steps closer to him, hand slightly outstretched tentatively in front of him, like he's unsure whether he should touch him or not.

"Cas, I can't — I can't lose you again," he says, voice wrecked, blinking away tears.

"Dean, it's gonna be okay —" He reaches out and just gently touches his fingers to Dean's forearm. Dean doesn't pull away but just squeezes his eyes shut, head hanging low like he physically can't keep it up anymore. They're so close that Dean can feel his warmth, his slow, steady breathing.

Cas gradually slides his hand down his arm and curls it around Dean's wrist, thumb resting against his pulse point. Dean just lifts his head slowly, shaking it disconsolately, his face twisting into a bitter grimace. "I almost lost you today. I've already lost you so many times. And too many of those times, it was my own damn fault. Because I was too fucking stupid."

"It's not your fault, Dean," Cas says quietly. "None of this is your fault."

"It's just — I don't know what's wrong with me. That I couldn't say that before — that I couldn't let myself accept it. That it takes losing everything for me to finally admit that I —" He cuts himself off with a broken sob.

Before Dean realises what he's doing, Cas raises his other hand to his cheek, lightly strokes his fingertips over his skin, wipes away some stray tears with his thumb. It's so unexpectedly tender that he lets out a small gasp and he can't help leaning into his touch, his eyes falling shut again, feeling so, so tired and lost. Cas's touch is his only salve, his only direction.

"Dean, it's okay. I understand," he tells him, voice barely more than a murmur. "You've lost so much in your life. More than anyone should ever have to bear. And it never ends. And the hits just keep coming. I know why you're angry. I know why it's so hard to admit how much you care. Because it makes losing everything so much worse."

"It hurts anyway," he grits out. "It hurts so fucking much, Cas. Every time. And I can't do anything about it — I can't stop it —"

Cas pulls him close into a crushing embrace now. Arms tight around his body, hands running over his hair, as he cradles his head against his shoulder. Dean clutches his fists into the back of his coat and he doesn't want to let go just like before. This time, with the clock not running down until the portal closes, maybe he might just not. Maybe they could just stay here until Chuck decides he's done and turns the lights out on the whole damn universe.

"It's okay, Dean," Cas says against his ear, soft and soothing, like a litany. "It's okay."

They have to pull apart eventually, Dean wiping away the remaining moisture from his eyes, Cas still just gazing at him, eyes sad and soft.

"Guess you're probably sick of me being a crybaby on you by now. Wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave again," Dean teases with a laugh.

Cas just lets out the slightest chuckle before smiling at him. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

Dean just takes his hand and squeezes it for a second, looking at him intently, eyes unblinking. "Good," he says simply before dropping his hand.

Cas just grows serious and focused again, blue eyes blazing with an intense fire. "Dean, I promise you. We'll stop it. Together. We'll stop Chuck. We'll make our own future. Because that's what we do. That's what you taught me to do."

Dean just gives him an ironic smile. "It's funny. For a guy who's supposedly the paragon of free will, I've never been too good at just letting myself get what I want."

Cas just gives him a strange look, almost guarded for the first time, like he thinks he knows what that means but he doesn't trust himself to be sure.

"About what you said, in Purgatory, your prayer —" he starts evenly.

"You said you heard it," Dean says, meeting his gaze.

"Yeah. I heard all of it. And you forgive me," Cas says, like some small part of him is still doubting that.

"I'll always forgive you," Dean says honestly. "No matter what. You're my best friend. You've been there for me when everything else, the whole damn world, was falling apart. When I was at my worst. When I didn't have any hope. Letting you go was the biggest mistake I ever made. I was miserable without you. Ask Sam. I just didn't have anything else to hold on to, except being mad at you. I only blamed you because otherwise I could only blame myself. For Mom. For Jack. For all of it."

Cas lets out a breath before just looking at him, expression open and earnest now. "Dean, I know you've been struggling. With all of this. Since — Since Mary. And then Chuck — And I hated that you pushed me away. When all I wanted was to be here. With you. Helping you carry that burden. Sharing each other's grief."

"Wasn't your fault," Dean says dismissively. "I didn't want your help. I didn't think it was real. Didn't think any of this was real. I didn't trust it. Didn't trust you. Didn't trust that you coming into my life, saving me from Hell, wasn't just another sick game of Chuck's to fuck with me some more."

He can't blame Cas for not trusting him, not trusting his feelings, when it's been so, so hard for him to trust Cas. Since the beginning. To trust that he was there and that he really cared about him, really wanted him, that he was Dean's and he wasn't going to leave.

"Dean, I'm here. I'm real," Cas tells him, just like he told him months ago when he didn't want to hear it. "This is real. It's always been real."

Dean nods. "I know that now," he tells him firmly.

"Okay, that's good. That's good, Dean," Cas breathes, and it looks like a heavy load's been lifted off of him. "That's how we beat him. Holding on to ourselves. The things we believe in."

"Yeah, but that's not the only way to beat him," Dean says significantly. "If you can't let yourself feel what you really feel, have what you really want — Then there's no point in any of it. Fighting. Saving the world. Living."

"I want you to be happy, Dean. I want that more than anything," Cas says and he sounds like he means it so much that Dean's heart aches. Even after everything, after Dean was so fucking awful to him, he still only wants Dean to be safe and whole and at peace. Even if that means dying, probably. But Dean will never be any of those things without Cas. He knows that now. He should've made sure Cas knew that years and years ago. That there was no doubt or uncertainty, that Dean would always forgive him, would always want him back, would always be there to bring him home.

"You didn't hear all of it, you know. There was something else. Something I wanted to tell you when I was looking right at you. When I knew you could hear it. Something I never thought I would get the chance to do. Something I never thought I'd be brave enough to do. But if not now, then when, right?" Dean says, with just a hint of a smile.

Cas just stares at him with his mouth slightly parted, eyes wide, like he's barely breathing until Dean leans in and presses his lips to his. Careful and deliberate and full of purpose. It's like he's saying, Trust me. Trust me. Trust this. Don't ever leave me again. So that Cas will never again be confused about what he means to Dean. So that he'll always know what Dean feels for him, what he feels for Dean, that nothing can ever break this, that Dean will never let him go again. He should've done this a long time ago too.

It's like something else breaks in him now. But it's pure contentment and relief and surging, overwhelming hope. He didn't think he was capable of feeling this. He thought that this part of him would've been worn away by years and years of waging wars and crushing grief and darkness that felt insurmountable, by his entire life, but it's still there somehow. A small but powerful flame thriving deep down inside of him. And now it's ignited his entire being.

Cas sighs into the kiss, bringing his hands up to rest them on his face, and he thinks he can feel his grace touching him inside. It's like when he heals him but different, almost like an embrace, like two souls intertwining around each other. Fitting together just as they're supposed to. Like this is where they always belonged.

They kiss and kiss, Dean's arms around his waist and Cas's heart thundering in his chest right against his own and making tiny gasps against his mouth and his fingers tracing over his skin, tasting each other, new and familiar and undeniable. It's like getting out of Purgatory after being stuck there for years, finally being able to breathe fresh air, to cast off the filth and the guilt and the despair dragging his soul down into the dirt. If something like this, so pure and right and real, exists in this world, then maybe there's a chance for them yet. Against all the demons and darkness and monsters in every universe and God himself.

They pull apart after what feels like a lifetime, foreheads pressed together, Cas's hands still framing his face.

"I love you," Dean says against his lips. Because he has to this time. It comes out as easy and effortless as anything, as simple as breathing.

"I've always loved you, Dean Winchester," Cas tells him, his voice as constant and absolute as the foundations of the earth, as the dawning of all existence. "And I always will."

Dean leans in and kisses him one more time, soft and slow and lingering.

"That's how I know we're gonna win," Dean says, voice full and sure now. "Because we're not alone. Because this is stronger than anything. Even God."

[forever-in-stone]

My father sat amongst the grotesque immoral gentlemen who were attempting to sway him to do the unimaginable. 

"We have well over two dozen females, some of which are barely twelve," the one they called Buscetta spoke in a gravelly voice, nearly burning fire into my very core. 

"I'm sorry, but we are not interested in that line of work," my father disclosed, indifferently. My father was a man of many talents, as all gangsters are I suppose. One of which was an unwavering nerve in the eye of arrogant seducers. I personally, would rather have their sadistic dicks ripped from their body. 

"Come on Marco, they are fine quality, and the income they would bring in alone would be enough to hang your hat on," Romano jabbered, his sweaty palm running through his greasy black hair. He knew the odds were now against them and he was eager to find the right thing to say that was going to persuade my father in their direction.

 "We just need a front to get them across the seas," Buscetta nagged, wanting to get straight to the point, he knew the answer would be either yes or no and that would be that. Marco was rarely the kind of man that changed his mind once it was set. 

A cool hand reached up and a soft finger rubbed the bottom lip of the grey haired male. Contemplation crossed his face for a moment; the scraping sound of a rusty, metal chair whining from his body standing up from the table.  I vaguely acknowledged the footsteps that were ascending in my direction, until a firm hand clasped my left shoulder. 

I struggled to tear my gaze away from the peaceful view that entrapped not only my mind, but my soul. That is, if I actually had a soul. The sound of the roaring Mediterranean Sea crashing against the large rocks that surrounded Lampedusa, made for a welcoming distraction against the horrors that were unfolding around me. 

I squared my broad shoulders in attempt to make myself appear even bigger in the eyes of my pompous father. Marco was a good foot shorter than I, although that never seemed to get in his way. I turned my dark Azure glare onto him, fighting the urge to blow their heads off. 

"We don't need them-" my father's hand raised to cut me off before he turned his eyes to the roaring shoreline, accepting the earth's aggression. Two fists reached out to grab the pair of binoculars that I, only moments ago, had aimed at two delicious women on the far side of the island. 

"You have much to learn Massimo, like when to put business ahead of pleasure," my father chortled, returning the spy wear to its leather holster. "One day, this will all be yours," Marco exclaimed, clasping a firm hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him. 

In that moment, time slowed. I suddenly noticed the fine wrinkles that coated my father's aging features. In seconds, it was as though he had aged twenty years. 

The next moment however, went as fast as a speeding bullet. 

A shot rang out around me, followed by an intense pain, unfamiliar to me until now. My father and I both dropped to the ground, dark wine liquid pooling around our bodies. It poured out of a clear wound in my father's chest, mimicking the injury on my stomach. I fought to claim air that evaded me at all costs, my mouth becoming dry and metallic. 

Time slowed and the sound of my own heartbeat boomed deep in my ears, it slowing as well, becoming fewer and farther in between each beat. My father had long fallen unconscious and I was quick to follow in his footsteps, my mind falling into the darkness with one final glance at my dad, knowing it would be the last time I would see him. 

As my body began to shut down, one organ at a time, my mind was last to go, soaring far beyond the clouds. It landed me at the shore of a beautiful island, palms trees surrounding me and swayed with the warm breeze. The crystal water pooled around us, thrashing tides against the sands edge. 

It was her face that I noticed first. The warm breeze whisking dark caramel strands around her perfectly proportioned features. Her large round dark eyes fixed onto me and a slow breathtaking smile lit up the heavens; choirs began singing in harmony around her, welcoming their angel. 

Something in my dark soul awakened at that moment, every fiber in my being craved her. My hand reached up to stroke her silky olive skin, instead streaking dark plasma across her pure white dress. I was dying. This was my heaven, or my hell. I guess it didn't matter either way as the darkness was soon here to claim me once again. 

~

***Authors note

Hey guys! This is just a little something I was working on. Hope you enjoy it.

Stay Stone(d)

[love-killed-the-superstar]

day 5 was fun!!!! we could all do with some happy cass!!!

CASSANDRA APPRECIATION WEEK DAY 5 - HAPPINESS

Happiness can be so many things, depending on who you ask. For Cassandra, it has changed over time.

It started with watching the sparks fly in Xavier's forge, it was crouching with her ear pressed against the door listening to her father talk about guard formation, it was sitting cross-legged on her bed drawing map after map of the castle, perfecting her cartography and wondering about what would come next. It was learning how to ride a horse, getting an extra toffee apple from Uncle Monty “just for being such a loyal customer”, it was the rare times she was invited to drink tea with the queen who watched her fondly, like maybe she would her own daughter some day.

Then as she grew older it was admiring her father's second-in-command, a tall butch nearing retirement, scribbling her feelings in letters that would never be sent, asking for the woman to help Cass with her form while she sparred. It was wishing she was grown up already so she could be as cool, as confident, as trusted. It was mastering weaponry, polishing the armour of the guard with her dad on rainy afternoon when training was cancelled, listening to his stories and wondering if she'd ever have some of her own one day, where she could be the hero and someone else would be listening with bated breath.

Happiness turned into something new entirely when she met Rapunzel.

Happiness was watching her kick ass. It was blackberry buns and friendship bracelets and learning to swim. It was long days at the lagoon, early mornings treading water, afternoons on the shores drying in the sun, late evenings sneaking in a quick sparring practice before picking their way back to the castle in time for Rapunzel's supper with her parents. It was opening herself up to someone who liked her for all the things she was told to conceal. It was warm eyes and soft hair and almost-kissable lips, begging her not to go.

Then... there wasn't really a whole lot. Did happiness come from the moonstone? Perhaps Cass found some misguided happiness from being taken seriously for once in her life. Maybe it did feel good just to let all her feelings fly, but between the continuous heartbreaks, the betrayals, and all the destruction left in her wake? Not so much.

Well. No use thinking about that now.

On her way back to Corona for the first time since she left for her journey, Cass stops by the lagoon. It feels a little weird, visiting without Rapunzel, almost like she shouldn't be here at all. It's never been hers alone – and so to be here alone is a surreal experience in itself. Well, if she can even call it a lone journey considering that Fidella and Owl have joined her.

Fidella is happy to stand in the shallows to keep cool while Owl stretches his wings, circling the skies above. Cass sits for a while, just basking in the sun. There's an almost dry heat, unusual for May, that bakes the lagoon slowly. Rolling waves of heat shimmer just above the water's surface, watches how the light dances with each rolling wave. She doesn't have much time to kill before heading off if she wants to make it back to the kingdom in time, but... there's something missing. Something she feels she can't return without.

See, happiness is Rapunzel, in a strange sort of way. For all of the grief they've shared, the anger they've hurled at each other, Cass loves her. So much. Likewise, Rapunzel loves her. Seeing her for the first time since her journey began will be... well, it'll be nerve-wracking to say the least. The letters they've exchanged while on the road have been tentative, neither one of them quite sure how to express their feelings through the coldness of pen and paper. Sure, they're more than friends now, and they and all their friends know that, but for what its worth they haven't actually really spent time together yet. Cass wants to do something; something strong, something meaningful, to make up for the distance.

So she goes swimming for stones.

The water is cool, a shock to her system after travelling in such warm, dry weather. Fidella watches her in amusement as she dives to the bottom, reaching for stones, bringing them to the surface in handfuls to examine the ones that will look just right for her gift. Happiness is moments like these, where nothing and no one in the world is keeping her from pursuing her goal. Happiness is what comes after too, floating on the surface in a starfish formation with the rocks piled safely on the sure, warmth beating down on her. She knows she can't stay here forever; along with the countdown until her expected return there's the risk of sunburn, and wouldn't that be an unsightly way to greet Raps after all this time? But still – just for a little while, with the sun on her face, warming her through and through, this is happiness.

…

Sometimes happiness takes a village – or in this case, a kingdom. Case in point, the whole of Corona is buzzing with anticipation for Rapunzel's birthday banquet tonight.

Cass has kept the plan of her return a secret to Rapunzel these last few weeks, at the request of Eugene – something that surprised her initially. She supposes at this point, after all the three of them have been through, it shouldn't be surprising that he wants her to be equally present in Rapunzel's life. Still, the gesture was oddly touching to her. What would that feeling be? Could happiness be acknowledgement, too?

Once he smuggles her into the throne room, grin wide as he poked fun at her new smattering of facial scars from life on the road, Cass is soon put to work. First comes the arrangement of the purple and gold balloons, the hanging of the banner, organisation of the gift piles. Then the entertainment is set up – a small, bare bones string quartet hold a short rehearsal that further invigorates the staff and guests. Cass then has her ear talked off by Kiera and Catalina, both enamoured by her new collection of battle scars, while they assist with the flower arrangements. Finally, after every table has been laid and the majority of staff have cleared out to take a brief rest before the celebration commences, a paper lantern is pressed into Cassandra's hands.

She looks up, and to her surprise, it is Queen Arianna handing her the lantern, with a warm smile she most often reserves for her own daughter.

“My Queen,” Cass says hurriedly, bowing her head in greeting.

“Cassandra,” she says, in a saccharine-sweet tone. “It's wonderful to have you back. Eugene did let me know of your secret arrangement, so I was hoping to say hello before the festivities begin.”

“It's good to be back. And I wouldn't miss Rapunzel's birthday for anything. Even after... all that I did, I hope it's all right that I came back.”

“The King still has some reservations,” Arianna muses, taking her own lantern in her hands. She takes a prepared letter from her robe pocket and rolls it up, securing it with a rich purple ribbon before slipping it inside the lantern. “But he isn't the most... adept to change. He will come around. And both Rapunzel and I see no problem with you returning. Corona will be your home for as long as you see it that way, and I can't think of a worse thing to do than turn you away from your home.”

Warmth blooms in Cassandra's chest, and she nods quickly, looking away. It's not easy, letting herself talk normally to the people around her who still remember the rampage she lead this time last year. But she isn't that person anymore. And to say that is more than just donning new scars and wearing new clothes. She doesn't spit fire at the drop of a hat anymore. She doesn't push people away. Everything is a conscious effort, of course, but just by doing so she knows she's moved past being the broken soul she was before.

“I can't wait to see her,” sighs Cass. “We've been in touch, but she's so much more in person.”

Arianna cracks a smile. “She'll be over the moon to see you too. Although Rapunzel tries not to show it, I can tell she's been sorely disappointed at the very notion that she might spend her birthday without you here to celebrate it with her.”

Cass blushes to her roots, but tries her best to keep her face unreadable. Still, it must be fairly obvious. Sometimes happiness is just knowing that Rapunzel misses her, thinks about her, wishes for her to appear.

“I had... hoped to visit for her birthday, but it's Eugene who actually reached out to me and convinced me to return.”

“Well, he wants what's best for Rapunzel,” Arianna says sagely, “and I can't imagine anyone she would want at her side more than the two of you.”

Now Cass knows her blush is unmistakable.

“Has Rapunzel... talked to you about how we left things?” she dares to ask, already feeling a little dizzy from the high stakes of this conversation.

“She has. And... it was me who told her that only she could decide what kind of queen she would one day become, and it's something I stand by. The company she keeps, and the nature of the relationships, are things that the three of you will have to talk about more publicly some day. For now, however, I'll just offer my congratulations, and my blessing.” Her eyes twinkle, and in this moment Cass feels seen, in a way she's just not used to.

“Thank you,” she whispers, mouth dry.

“From what I've seen, I think the three of you bring out the best in each other, and that's a remarkable quality for a relationship to have. A kingdom needs strong foundations to run smoothly, after all.”

“I, um... I want to do right by her,” Cass says quietly, hugging her lantern to her chest. “I wasn't in a good place before, but finding my own way in the world has changed me for the better, and it's something I don't think I could have done without Rapunzel. So, I want to be there for her too.”

“As long as you're happy, Cassandra,” Arianna says simply, a beaming smile on her face. After a pause, she adds, “And are you? Happy, I mean?”

Cass, with a grin of her own, nods.

“I – yes. I am.”

“Well then,” Arianna continues, sunny as ever, “I am overjoyed for you, my dear. I only hope you channel some of that happiness into your lantern message.”

She is soon called away to give her opinion on the royal table's flower arrangement, and Cass stares at her blank lantern, unsure of where to start. She's never been great at decorating, so it won't be pretty. As a kid she used to write some incomprehensible nonsense about how it was her dream to rescue the lost princess herself, but... well, that dream hadn't quite panned out like she'd pictured growing up.

In the end, she just writes from her heart.

I love you, Raps. And for as long as the sun shines, I will never stop.

It's short, it's just sappy enough without being overkill, and it's all hers.

Cassandra sets it to one side, and then Varian bursts into the room, shouting, “Everyone get down and dim the lights, she'll be here any minute!”

Eugene waves her over to join him and Lance, who are waiting right by the heavy doors with grins a mile wide, and Cass heads over with a spring in her step. She sticks a hand in her pocket, feeling her present inside – two bracelets, threaded with great difficulty on her part, to replace the one that had been destroyed all those years ago.

“You ready?” Eugene asks, all smiles as she crouches down at his side.

Happiness is knowing that any moment, she will walk through that door.

[snowfall-fanfictions]

Beware the Frozen Heart Ch. 16- The Incident Part 2

Previous Chapter

Ao3 link

FFN link

A continuation of the plot in Fjellby.

This was initially supposed to be part of the previous chapter, but due to its sheer length I cut it in half.

Enjoy!

Earlier that evening… 

“Why in the hell are we fishing at this time of day?”

“Shut the fuck up and help me with this net.”

As the sun began to dip behind the mountains overlooking Arendelle, two fishermen made their way out into the Arenfjord on a small rickety boat. Each man took a side of a large fishing net and, with all their combined might, tossed it into the water. They waited a few moments before  tugging on individual ropes. As they pulled it back onto the boat, the men let out a small groan. Different sized rocks were piled up on the floor of the ship, with not a single fish to be found.

“God dammit!” the older one said, throwing his hat onto the bottom of the boat, exposing his bald head to the twilight air, “Not even a minnow!” he grabbed the net, balling it up in his hands, “Let’s try again.”

His friend noticed something amongst the rocks. It wasn’t a fish, yet it wasn’t a rock either. Pushing some of them aside, the man pulled out something oddly peculiar. A knife from the looks of it, its hilt made of some black wood and its blade of strange metal. Some gibberish was written into the side of the blade, but he couldn’t make out what it said. He held the weapon aloft to his companion, “What do you suppose this is?”

The old man took a closer look at it, “Hmmm, looks like a murder weapon,” he took the blade out of his friend’s hand, “By God, it looks old. And that’s by my standards.”

“Should we take it to the guardhouse? Could be worth something to them.” Before the elder man said anything, a loud explosion caught them off guard. The old man’s hands jolted, causing the sharp end of the blade to drag across his hand. He dropped it with a loud “FUCK!” as it clattered at the bottom of the boat. Neither of them noticed the man’s blood seeping into the runes on the dagger, nor did they notice them glow a bright red.

Skyne groaned as if he had woken up. It was about time Odrikson did something with the queen… wait, this wasn’t the queen’s blood. It was much older. And more importantly not magic. The shade sensed his surroundings for answers.

Wh- Where am I? Odrikson, where are you?! No response. All he could sense were two men, neither of them being Odrikson. After a moment, Skyne located where Odrikson was, and it puzzled him. He was north, far north. What in the name of the shadows was he doing up there? Skyne could also tell that he was in a boat, but why? The last thing he remembered was Odrikson… Skyne put two and two together, letting out an ear piercing roar.

YOU. B̨̯̣̞̠̹̝͕ͯ̏͊̌̿̒ͭA͉̞ͫͬ̎S̳̦͉̥̰͙̄̅͂̍̄T̤̟͔̭͍͖̺̀A͔̙̱͉̟͑̋̂̇Ṛ̲̱͖͉̐̄ͧͪ̾ͬ̇D͈ͮ̿̈! 

Skyne sank into the shadows, fixated on Odrikson’s position. That runt actually abandoned him! Tried to sink him in the fjord and leave him there! He was so close to getting out of this infernal device, and Odrikson chickened out?! He refused to let this opportunity slip away.

He was getting out of this dagger, one way or another. If it means damning Odrikson, so be it. 

What’s another soul to his freedom, anyway?

XXXXXX

“Well, you took your time getting here.”

Do I sound like I have time for this foolishness, Odrikson? I am INFURIATED right now!

“Can you be pissed some other time? Kinda in the middle of something, here,” Eryn gestured to Hans, who still held the revolver up to Eryn’s chest. Hans’s mouth was agape at the sight before him. Shadowy tendrils still held the bullet he had just fired in the air, as the assassin argued with his weapon.

YOU. ABANDONED. ME! Do you honestly think that I would ignore that?!

“It wasn’t me! The ice boy nicked you when I wasn’t looking!”

And you didn’t feel him take me?! How have you lived this long as an “assassin” with such atrocious awareness of your surroundings?!

“Um…” Hans spoke up, “What in the hell is going on here?!”

“Do you mind? Having a bit of an argument here,” Eryn pointed to the knife as Hans threw the gun on the floor.

“Ah, to hell with this,” Hans drew his sword, tossing the revolver onto the floor,  “I’ll just kill you the old fashioned way,” He swung the sword overhead. Eryn raised the dagger to block it as the tendrils disappeared, the sound of clanging metal resonating in the room.

“The magic, I need the magic!”

Why should I?

“You need me!”

And what makes you think that? Surely this gentleman would be a substantial replacemen-

“As if he’d actually do anything with you. He’d probably hang you in his study!” Eryn pushed back on Hans’s blade, staggering the red haired man. Hans went back in for another overhead strike as Eryn narrowly dodged to the side.

There is one way you can make up for this…betrayal…

“And what’s that?!”

The queen… wet my blade with her blood and I shall consider the abandonment water under the bridge…

“Who are you talking to?!” Hans demanded, confused at the sight before him.

“Fuck you, that’s who!” Eryn darted towards Hans, dagger raised in his hand. Eryn swiped at Hans’s neck, who deflected the blade with his own.

I will give you this one last chance, Odrikson. Disappoint me again, and it’s the last thing you will ever do. Do we have a deal?

“Yes, yes! Just- the magic!” Eryn planted his foot on Hans’s chest, pushing him out into the hall.

Very well… Eryn could feel the cold and numbness coarse through his veins. Hans charged towards him, thrusting his sword at Eryn’s chest. Eryn sank into the floor as a shadowy mass, slinking behind Hans like a snake. Eryn emerged and brought the dagger down on Hans’s shoulder, only to be blocked again by Hans’s sword. Hans swept Eryn’s legs out from underneath him as Eryn dragged him down to the floor with him. The two began rolling around the hallway to gain an advantage on one another, tumbling down the stairs. Hans kicked Eryn off of him, knocking him into a suit of armor. Hans darted forward thrusting the sword at the assassin. Eryn summoned inky black tendrils to bring up the chestplate of the armor to block the attack. Hans reeled back as his sword met the metal plate. Eryn transformed into a shadowy blob and tackled Hans to the ground with a loud thud. The assassin thrusted the dagger towards Hans’s chest, only for the exiled prince to push his arm away. The two men struggled for some time, trying to overcome the other in a desperate tug of war. A loud gunshot at the base of the stairs forced them to stop.

“Now, now, gentlemen, we mustn’t resort to such savagery.”

Governor Haadrikson held a revolver in the air. Linaeus knelt beside him, hands bound behind his back and flanked by two guards.

���Eryn Odrikson,” the governor chortled, pointing his gun at Eryn, “and the Arendolk. How did a street rat like you get in possession of such a powerful artifact?” “Picked it up at here in town,” Eryn retorted as he rose from the ground, “A small shop called ‘Go Fuck Yourself.’”

“I don’t have the patience for this, rat. Hans, my boy, why are you tampering with such an… important cog in this scheme of yours?” “Odrikson’s backing out,” Hans spat, “He knew too much, I couldn’t risk him getting away.”

Haadrikson waddled over to Eryn, “Is that so? It appears you’re still the same coward that deserted all those years ago, then.” Outside a large window, the sun had finished setting as the moon slowly peeked out from the mountains.

 Odrikson, get him to monologue, at least for the next few minutes.

Why?

JUST DO IT!

“Why go to all this trouble? Why lie to the queen’s face and side with this bastard?”

“Simply put, I refuse to take orders from a witch. Who’s to say she won’t turn on us all, with power such as that? So, I was contacted by Mr. Westergard here to play a role in his plot. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck who’s on the throne, but a monster like that is simply unacceptable.”

“How far up your own ass do you have to be to think she’s a threat? She wouldn’t hurt a fly!” “Then explain to me how even after a month you haven’t been able to kill her!”

“I was told she was a monster. I now see that's a boldfaced lie!”

“Ah, I see what’s going on here. You got tricked by a pretty face and a kind facade. Maybe if you thought with your head instead of your dick, you would’ve had results.”

Eryn gritted his teeth as he gripped the dagger tightly. He’d never experienced this level of raw anger before in his life. Every part of him screamed for him to claw the governor’s throat out.

“Now, Mr. Odrikson,” Haadrikson placed the muzzle of the revolver on Linaeus’s head, “I’m afraid this little game of yours is over.” He placed his finger on the trigger as the moon rose over the mountain. The second the moonbeams hit Eryn’s skin through a nearby window, he could feel his anger raise to new levels.  Before Haadrikson squeezed the trigger, Eryn’s eyes went pitch black as he shot a wave of dark energy out of his hand, severing the governor’s hand from his arm. The fat man let out a blood curdling cry as massive shadowy tentacles erupted out of Eryn’s back, converging onto the governor. Eryn threw him aside like a limp chew toy as some of the tentacles slashed at Linaeus’s bonds. Linaeus sweeped one of the guard’s legs out from underneath them, quickly grabbing a sword and hacking at the leg of the other.

What the hell is this power? 

The children of Máni are all given special gifts whenever the moon shines down on them. Even the ones he… refuses to acknowledge.

When were you planning on telling me this?!

I’ve never told a soul before. They’ve never gotten this close to aiding me…

Aiding you in what?

Best you worry about them rather than me, Odrikson.

“GET HIM YOU FOOLS!” Haadrikson shouted, clutching the stump where his hand used to be. Guards poured into the room, brandishing swords and poleaxes. Eryn darted over to Linaeus’s side with the dagger in hand.

“Is that really Arendolk?” Linaeus asked.

“Not the time, Lenny,” Eryn retorted, “let’s discuss this when we’re out of here.”

Linaeus simply nodded as two guards came up to him with overhead swings. The captain narrowly dodged one while parrying the other. Eryn summoned an orb of darkness in his palm and launched it at a group of four guards. As soon as it hit them, the shadow grew in size, swallowing them whole. All that anyone could hear was the sounds of screaming and gurgling. When the darkness dissipated, all four laid on the ground, motionless with blackened eyes. Linaeus kicked one of the guards into another separate group.

“I thought you were captain of the guard! Why are they after you?!” Eryn shouted as he deflected a sword swing with the dagger.

“Haadrikson paid them off! How did you get the Arendolk?!” Linaeus responded, swinging his sword at a large group of guards.

“Urlaf had it the night I killed him! Is that answer sufficient?!”

“For now, yes. We need to talk about this shadow magic business later! Make sure Hans doesn’t escape!”

“Fine by me!” Was all that Eryn said as he rushed towards Hans.

XXXXXX

Elsa paced around her room impatiently. Derrik and Linaeus left hours ago, how were they still not back? She held herself in her arms as her mind wandered to the worst possible scenario. Perhaps they were caught and were doomed to be hanged unless she revealed herself. Elsa shook the notion out of her head. Surely they wouldn’t be that careless to get caught, right?

Elsa stopped pacing momentarily when she heard some kind of commotion from outside her room. Lacing her bonnet around her head, she darted out of the room, hoping to find some answers. At the bottom of the staircase, several people were gathered around the window, observing something out of Elsa’s sight. She hurried down to join the sudden throng, standing next to a young boy about five or six years old.

“What’s going on?” She asked him, crouching down to his eye level.

“Someone’s twying to kill Mr. Haadwikson,” the youth replied, pointing out towards the governor’s mansion. Elsa looked where the boy was pointing, and couldn’t believe her eyes. Derrik and Linaeus were currently clashing swords with several guards and… Hans?

“Dammit!” Elsa shouted, running out the door. She hated being right.

XXXXXX

“Sir Bjorgman,” the doctor said, placing a hand on Kristoff’s shoulder. Kristoff sat himself in a chair beside Anna’s bed, gripping her hand tightly in his. The mountain man said nothing as he watched Anna’s unconscious body. Most of her clothing had to be removed, as to make sure some shrapnel didn’t strike somewhere important, leaving her with a small modesty wrap around her chest and pelvic region.

“Sir Bjorgman,” the doctor repeated, “I-I have good news and bad news…” Kristoff looked up to the man with shock and grief in his eyes, “The good news is that she should recover… but… it’s her leg…”

Kristoff stared down to where Anna’s legs were. While her left leg looked completely fine, her right leg was a different story. Kristoff hadn’t noticed how gnarled and bent it was when he picked her up. Parts of her bone stuck out of the flesh all the way up to her thigh. Her foot was dangling off her leg by a few tendons.

“What’s going to happen to her?” Kristoff asked, his voice coarse

“We’ll just need to cut the leg off. It’s damaged beyond repair and will do her more harm than good.”

“Then how will she-” “Don’t worry, son. She’ll be able to walk again.” Kristoff sighed in relief. Finally, some good news out of all of this. He gripped Anna’s hand tighter than usual. “When will she wake up?”

“That… I’m not sure about. But that’ll just make the procedure go that much quicker for her.” Kristoff opened his mouth to say something when a guard entered the room.

“Sir Bjorgman,” she said, saluting him, “We’ve managed to capture one of the terrorists responsible for the explosion.”

Kristoff shot up from his chair, “Where is he?” He demanded.” “The dungeons, sir.”

“Any others?” “They’re either dead or fled into the sewer system underground. We’ve got some patrols down there looking, but so far he’s the only one we’ve caught.”

Anger settled in the bottom of Kristoff’s heart, “Take me to him.”

The guard simply nodded and walked out the door with Kristoff following. The mountain man clenched his fists so hard that his nails dug into his palms. These monsters nearly took his Anna. The one thing he had in his life, the one that turned him around for the better, came within an inch of her life once again because of these animals. What did she do to deserve this?! Can’t she be at peace for once in her life?

When they arrived in the dungeons, Kristoff was met with the familiar stench of misery and mold. The guard took a torch from one of the sconces as she fumbled with the keys to the left most door. Kristoff pushed it open and quickly went inside. He was greeted by a strange looking man, thin and brittle looking. It looked like it took a simple breeze to break every bone in his body. Over his left eye rested an eyepatch, with the other eye a brilliant blue. His hair was as white as Elsa’s, but he looked to be only a few years older than Kristoff. The man was currently chained to a point in the middle of the floor.

“Does he have a name?” Kristoff asked.

“Alius ‘The Stick’ Hoffermire, sir,” The guard said, “He comes from the kingdom of Snoob. He’s a criminal mastermind responsible for several revolts around the world.”

Kristoff eyed the captive man, “Leave us.”

“Sir?”

“I want to talk to him personally. And with no interruptions…”

“Y-yes sir!” The guard quickly backed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Kristoff trudged towards Alius, who was smirking wildly.

“You have a lot to answer to,” Kristoff growled, narrowing his eyes.

“Oh, do I now?” Alius responded sarcastically, his voice high pitched and nasally, “Where do you want to start?”

“How about with the fact that your little stunt hurt an innocent person today!?”

“She’s a politician, none of them are innocent! Rats, the lot of ‘em!”

The anger in his heart boiled over at that point. Kristoff lunged towards Alius, knocking him to the ground and wrapping his hands around his throat, “Don’t. You. Dare. Talk about my fiance like that you weasel!”

“W-Wait!” Alius said, “The queen isn’t supposed to be courting anyone, let alone be affianced.” “YOUR BOMB HIT THE PRINCESS!”

“The Princess?! Where’s the queen, then?!”

“That isn’t what we’re talking about, now is it?!”

“Goddammit, Eryn,” the man muttered, “ what’ve you done with her now?”

Kristoff brought Alius to his face, “Who?!”

XXXXXX

Eryn darted towards Hans, readying the dagger for a strike. Hans deflected it with his sword as he prepared his own attack. The two men clashed blades, bringing their faces within inches of each other.

“All this and for what?” Hans said, “So you’re no longer some nobody? So people would be forced to remember you?” “What’s your excuse, then?” Eryn retorted, “Couldn’t let them beat your ass once, so you came back to get it kicked again?”

“At least I’m not some forgotten orphan who wasted his days playing killer!”

“Nah, you’re just some rich pompous asshole who wasted his days playing killer!” “Do you really think she’ll care for you once she knows the truth? How you came here to kill her for money and fame? You’ll be lucky if she doesn’t wedge an icicle in your heart! She’s killed before and she’ll do it aga-”

Before Hans had a chance to finish his sentence, Eryn pushed him back.

“I’ve had enough of your lies!” Eryn growled, his voice layered with that of Skyne’s, as if they were both talking simultaneously. His arm became enveloped in shadows as he punched Hans square in the chest, sending him flying into the statue. Eyrn watched as Hans was impaled on the massive sword the statue was holding, gasping and choking on his own blood. In a matter of seconds, Hans went limp and his gurgling stopped. Eryn turned around to face the rest of the guards, all of whom had the same expression of horror on their faces.

“It would be wise of you to surrender, now…” he suggested. One by one, the guards threw their weapons onto the ground without question as a few street guards came to arrest them. Linaeus walked up to Eryn with the Governor in a set of chains behind him.

“Jesus, Eryn,” Linaeus said, looking at Hans’s corpse, “Was that really necessary?”

Eryn looked back up to Hans, “Eh, maybe not. But it’s one less thing we need to worry about.”

“So that is the Arendolk. So the legends are true,” The governor spat, “You’re worse than a rat, boy. You’re a… warlock.”

“And you're a traitor to Arendelle,” Linaeus retorted, “Once we get you back to Arendelle proper, the queen will decide your fate.” “You have no proof! When the queen finds out that you’ve attacked me, she’ll-”

“I’ve seen enough, governor!” a mysterious voice shouted.

Haadrikson’s face went pale as Eryn and Linaeus snapped their heads towards the direction of the voice. Elsa removed the bonnet from her head, allowing her platinum braid to cascade down her shoulder. Elsa looked up to Hans’s lifeless body before returning her icy gaze to the three men.

“May I ask why the corpse of one of  Arendelle’s most infamous criminals is skewered on the sword of my grandfather?”

Eryn stepped forward, drawing a letter out of his pocket, “I believe this will tell you everything you need to know.”

Elsa took the note from his hand and began scanning it. When she finished, she glared at the governor with fury.

“Sidgir Haadrikson, as Queen of Arendelle, I find you guilty of high treason, and sentence you to death by hanging.”

“Not sure if the rope will hold him, to be honest,” Eryn mumbled. Elsa glared at him before returning to face the now former governor. Haadrikson began shaking like an earthquake.

“Y-you can’t do this!” he shouted, “I won’t be killed by some- some WITCH and a pawn of Skyne!” “One more word out of you and I’ll freeze your tongue off! Captain Torvond, please escort him to the holding cells until we can arrange a date of execution.”

“Yes ma’am!” Linaeus gripped Haadrikson’s arm and dragged him back to the barracks.

“HE’S SENT HERE TO KILL YOU, DUMB WHORE!” Haadrikson roared, “YOU’RE GOING TO ALLOW SKYNE’S BITCH TO WALK FREE?!”

Eryn felt Elsa stare daggers into his back. Turning around, he could see that Elsa had a bit of an irritated look on her face.

That’s three powerful and important people you’ve enraged today, Odrikson.

Not now!

“How did you get in possession of Arendolk?” She demanded, “I thought it was lost to the ages.”

“Well, uh, th-that’s a funny story…”

Before Eryn could finish, a throng of townsfolk came out into the square to investigate the commotion. A few shrieked in horror as they saw the former prince of the Southern Isles impaled on the statue, many others gawked at the sight of the queen in such common clothing, whispering amongst themselves.

“What’s the queen doing here?”

“Arendolk? Like the legends and myths?”

“The Governor’s a traitor? Who’s gonna replace him?”

Elsa stepped forward, “Everyone, listen please. There’s been a bit of a situation concerning the governor. Effective immediately, he will be removed from power. Until a replacement is found, a few detachments of soldiers will remain, but the majority will be demobilized.”

Elsa’s announcement produced a few murmurs from the crowd.

“And that also means less taxes will be imposed.” All at once the crowd erupted in joyous celebration. Eryn discreetly conjured up several shadowy tendrils to remove Hans from the sword.

“Alright, now will you explain yourself to me, Mr. Ormeister? Your real name is ‘Eryn,’ you possess an ancient artifact belonging to Arendelle, you have magic, are you even from Weselton?”

Eryn winced at her words. He knew the time had come to come clean to her. His heart ached at the notion, but he fought it back.

“Elsa,” he said, taking her hands in his, “There’s something you should know…” “YOUR MAJESTY!”

“God fucking dammit!” Eryn rolled his eyes, “What now?!”

A soldier came riding along from the entrance of the town, with a horse in tow. He hopped off of his own horse and bolted to the two of them, panting heavily.

“Wait, I recognize you,” Elsa said, “You’re from the castle guard. Why are you up here?” “There… was an explosion…” The guard panted heavily,  “terrorist attack… at the castle… Princess Anna’s in critical condition. Sir Bjorgman sent me for you.”

Elsa’s skin went pale as her eyes went wide. Eryn couldn’t help but let his jaw go slack as well. Another attempt? By whom?

“Get me home, then,” she said breathlessly running up to the horses.

“Elsa, wait!” Eryn yelled, “It could be a trick to get you back!”

“I can’t risk Anna like that! If she might be in danger, I need to treat it like she is!” With that, Elsa snapped the reins of her horse and bolted out of Fjellby.

There goes our deal, Odrikson!

I’ll catch up to her, no worries.

Eryn disappeared into a shadowy blob and slinked away, out of the city.

[rosecorcoranwrites]

Magic by Any Other Name

I, like most fantasy writers, think a lot about magic. I mean, a lot. I love thinking about different magical systems and how they work, what their strengths and weaknesses are, and how they can be employed to make the coolest story possible. Dark magic, light magic, elemental magic, you name it. Magic cast with wands, or words, or motions. Magic that comes from special creatures or from the hearts or minds of humans. I love magic. What I don't love is when writers have weird hang-ups about magic.

The most notorious example of this is when a character says something along the lines of "It's not magic, it's bending/semblance/alchemy/etc." I assume this is an attempt by the writers to make their magic system seem more interesting and original, despite the fact that it's clearly magic with a different name. I wouldn't mind this, except that by coming out and stating "it's not magic", you're acknowledging that your setting has the concept of magic. So... what exactly is the distinction between "totally-not-magic" and, you know, regular old magic?

This distinction is occasionally addressed. Fullmetal Alchemist is very clear in pointing out that alchemy is governed by the rule of equivalent exchange, where you can't get something without giving up something in return, in a sort of mystical balancing of equations. Thus, we can conclude that "magic" would be getting whatever you want without a price. Philosopher's stones appear to do this, but of course are only created by using human lives in their initial creation; there is still an equivalent exchange. I'm also willing to give the "alchemy vs magic" thing a pass because it's based on the real world distinctions between alchemy—which was a mystical form of early chemistry—and magic—which generally involves dealing with spirits and supernatural forces.

But then we have stories where the "totally-not-magic" is blatantly supernatural or mystical, coming from spiritual connections or the souls of those who wield it. Bending in Avatar: the Last Airbender, for example, is when a human controls one of the four elements—fire, earth, air, and water—by doing a series of movements, or by controlling their breathing. There is a clear spiritual aspect to this, as the Dalai-Lama-esque avatar can wield all four elements in order to keep balance between the human nations and between the human and spiritual/natural world. Essentially, bending is elemental magic with somatic components. And that's fine! I love Avatar, and it has excellent world building overall, except for the line "it's not magic, it's waterbending." So, ok, bending isn't magic... then what is? We're never told. I think we might never hear the word "magic" after the first episode. So why bring it up?

More egregious, still, is in RWBY, were Weiss states that they have semblances (essentially, a magic special technique unique to each person) and dust (basically, magical material of different types) but not magic. Um... really? It's even more puzzling in Season 6, when we learn that the world was once crawling with magic wielders, but was reset so that no one who wasn't from that original time can use magic. Or, rather, "magic"; people can use their semblances to create illusions, and summon monsters, and have precognition. So why not call it magic? Why not say "semblances are just a portion of the magic that humans once had"? Or say "people used to be able to use magic without the aid of dust", similar to how humans in Harry Potter can only do magic properly with the aid of a wand?

If you want to fancy up your magic system by calling it something else, that's fine. If you feel a burning need to have someone say, "It's not magic, it's my own original character, Blagic!" then please take the time to explain why it isn't magic, and what exactly people in your world mean by the word "magic". Maybe magic is present in the natural world, and blagic (or whatever) is wielded by humans. Maybe magic can be done with nothing to fuel it, but blagic can only be done through certain rituals or by using special components. Or, why not just never, ever use the word "magic", since people in your setting just call it "blagic". Easy!

Another issue I have is when writers attempt to show that a character is ultra-rational by having them state, "I don't believe in magic!", even in settings where magic is a known and accepted force. In such a world, a disbelief in magic is like being a flat-earther or moon-landing denier in our world. An author could work with that, using this person's magic denial to characterize them as some sort of a tin-foil-hat kook, but I've never seen it played that way. "I don't believe in magic" is used as short-hand for "I'm a rational, scientific person", but does that really follow? As an aside, back in high school, there were some students in my theater class who made fun of me for being Christian, and who considered themselves to be far more rational than I. These same students, I kid you not, did not believe that blood types were real. Blood types! That isn't rational. That isn't scientific, and, in fact, requires the willful ignorance of settled science. It's the same for a magic denier in a setting where magic is a known, understood force. How does the character justify their frankly ridiculous lack of belief?

Both of these issues, I believe, stem from a misunderstanding of magic. The "totally-not-magic" systems always have specific limitations and rules, suggesting that these writers think of "magic" as boundless power. The "I don't believe in magic" stories contrast magic and science, as if magic cannot be studied or quantified. The thing is... that's not how magic works. And I don't mean how it works in fantasy; I mean, in the real world. I'm not saying that magic is real, I'm saying that real people throughout history have believed in magic. Sympathetic magic, hermeticism, witchcraft, and so on all have limits and rules, and can obviously be studied since, you know, people "practice magic". Specific actions are supposed to yield specific results. Even if these results are not supported by science, the idea behind magic is that there is a cause and effect relationship that humans can understand and control.

Thus, magic isn't any phenomena that can't be explained by science and that goes beyond the bounds or limits of the known world. We have a word for that: "miracle". Miracles don't have to follow any rules, and their cause can't be studied (though their results can!). Miracles are generally considered either inexplicable or divine in origin. Writers tend not to include miracles in their settings because it would be deus ex machina, as God is literally breaking into the story to fix things. While miracles are exciting in real life, they tend to majorly undercut the tension of a fictional story!

It might make sense to have a character say, "It's not a miracle, it's magic/bending/semblance/alchemy/etc," since, unlike miracles, the magic system has limits and rules. Even the most mystical magician could say, "I don't believe in miracles" and not sound like a flat-earther, since magic requires rigorous practice and study. Honestly, though, I would rather writers not bring this up at all. If your setting has magic in it, just let it have magic. No one who chose to watch or read fantasy is going to judge you for having magic in the setting, because that's what they signed up for. People like magic, and are more than willing to accept it in a fantasy, so instead of thinking about how much their blagic isn't magic, writers should be focusing on giving us the best magical system they possibly can, whatever it ends up being called.

[preternatural-fools]

another silly romance question for the boys because they make my heart happy- how far along into a relationship would the boys say “I love you”/“im in love with you”? How would they go about it? Would it be a casual thing, a prepared thing, or like “oops it accidentally slipped out and now im low key embarrassed” type thing? - chaotic anon🧚🏻‍♀️✨

My heart is,,,,screaming inside my chest, she’s doing the anD IIIIIEEEYIIIIIII ya know fsdfjk

OkAy LADIES N GENTS sbjdskj hold onto your hats this is getting written Kay style which means we OVEREXPLAINING IN THIS HOUSE TONIGHT FOLKS!

Fair warning: Some of this got a little scenario-y, like instead of answering your question, I gave an example via mini scenario? fsdfhsd SorRY 

To be honest, I think Tae, Jungkook, and Jimin would be the ones to say it the soonest(is that a word? I don’t know, I don’t care, grammar who?)~~  and those three give me the “I’m in love with you” vibes. 

Jungkook would be 100% positive sure (shout out to my friend who says that and got me hooked) that he loved the person before he said it, and it would be within the first like, maybe 3-5 months. But the thing is, he would be sure that he really liked the person before he made a move and even got into the relationship aspect. But in terms of “I love you”, it’s probably more like “This is serious, I can feel it.” around 3, by 4 he’d be like “I love them,” in more of a lighthearted way, love them as a person, but by 5 he would know, ya know? He just KNOWS, that fae intuition, that zap, that soul click, he would know that he loves them with every fiber in his being and he would absolutely say it, blank range, right in the chest, his S/O would do something small or cute and he would get that big, kinda shy grin, his eyes would crinkle, and he would probably reach for their hands or their face and just, “I love you, I’m in love with you.” 

Jimin would know, he’s waiting for it, the one, his twin flame. Jimin has done casual dating, but I think when it comes to his S/O, he would know it was serious even before it got serious, he’d say it with confidence because inside he knows they love him too, he can feel it,*Yoongi voice* friggin’ psychics. I think he would want it to be a nice moment, like he would aim for it to come out at the right time, there have been times before where its almost slipped out, but he takes his S/O out one evening, not really on a date, but just “Come out with me?” a good ol’ evening stroll around a park, its dark, no one else is really there, but the stars are and it’s perfect, “You know, there’s a theory that soulmates are people with souls containing stardust from the same star, born from the same constellation, I was always in love with the stars, and perhaps that why I’m in love with you.” (that was nearly too mushy for my own good I think my soul actually left my body but also if someone said that to me I would die on the spot jimin you fucking SAP.)

Tae is an old soul, he’s been around the block before, he knows what love feels like, he know’s what being in love feels like—he also knows what those feelings turning to ash in his hands feels like but that’s a whole different story. He would probably be in denial at first, pushing away the feelings, pushing away the fear, the vulnerability, the fine details, but his heart would ache in his chest because it’s right and he knows it, he feels things more strongly than humans, he would know as soon as it hit what that feeling was and what it means. I think he would be more casual with it, probably happen at home, during the evening, cuddled up on the couch by the fire place, maybe sitting at the piano just messing around, some soft moment like that, but I think in a moment, the mood would switch, and he would lock eyes, that heavy, dark gaze just laced with love, like drowning in warmth, and he would just drop it right then and there, no going back, “I’m in love with you.” (someone collect the pieces of my soul flying out of my chest, I am in shambles)

Now for our other trio, our slightly ,,, detached boys

Yoongi, once the cards fall where they may, ya know; they manage to break down his outer shell of smart ass, sarcastic, ‘I don’t care’ attitude, hurdle over his many attempts at deflecting any type of close bond, and take a jackhammer to that 10 foot concrete wall standing between them, him, and his feelings—it’ll still be a little delayed. Because now he let them in, he feels strongly about them, he cares a lot about them, and he’s terrified. (the dress on the wall hanging behind me just reflected in my screen and I about shit my pants just now thinking someone was standing behind me, just wanted to add that and let you know feusdf). He doesn’t want to ruin it, he doesn’t want to lose it, but he’s scared to progress, this is basically uncharted territory for him, he’s never been in love, he’s never allowed himself to have such vulnerable feelings. He would know how he feels, Tae would probably call him out on it, lecture him, talk him up, and try to nudge Yoongi into being honest with himself and his S/O but still Yoongi would be a nervous wreck, poor kid. He would see the opportunity and stumble into it head first, probably in a cute moment (?) where they’re just like existing an doing something together, I dunno why but the scene of them cooking came to mind, Yoongi likes to cook, he’d let them cook with him, they’d be cooking and in a moment, maybe his S/O asks him a cooking related question about a recipe, he comes over to look at the book, his S/O looks up at him to have him confirm what the book says, and as soon as they make eye contact, he crumbles, and it’s a rush of “iloveyou” and he sucks in a breath like he’s trying to take the words back in, but it’s too late, they heard it, and he’s so relieved when they say it back that he feels like his knees might give out. (ouch my soul I rllydkasf dsf OH MY GOD I love him holy SHIT)

Hoseok, my baby, he’s such a lovely little thing, but he’s afraid of his own feelings. He would probably develop feelings for this person through friendship first and once he realizes it he would be like ‘oh no oh no oh no ohnoohno’, he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship, he doesn’t want to acknowledge the feelings, he doesn’t want to make himself vulnerable, but every time he would look at them his chest would swell with two feelings; complete adoration and aching devastation. He adores them, loves their soul, their smile, the way the laugh, the way he feels with them, and it hurts because he feels all of this and he hates it, he loves them, but he can’t do that, no, no, they couldn’t love someone like him, he doesn’t deserve it, he’s broken, he’s different. And so he starts to distant himself, he wants out, he doesn’t like it anymore, his soul screams because the heart wants what it wants but he’s denying it that, and so that screaming begins to override that adoration and he starts to hate the fact he’s ruining it for himself. I feel like there would need to be an intervention, probably Jimin, says something to the other person, encourages them to go see Hoseok, go push him to tell them why he’s acting funky. And it comes out, along with some tears, he faces them, himself, his feelings, and it overwhelms him, and he cracks, but it works out and he’s shocked when the feelings are reciprocated. He learns how to love.

Namjoon, firstly, he’s married to his education and having an affair with his job, he’s a busy man, he doesn’t really have time to be in the dating scene or the getting close to people scene. But maybe he has a fellow student he gets close with, or a coworker, and it tumbles along from there. He’s intelligent, and emotionally intelligent, he’s pretty good as expressing himself and articulating himself, he’s good at gauging other people’s feelings, however, he’s a little dense and totally misses when people hit on him, but other than that—he’s solid. However, there’s one little thing stopping him, the skeleton in the closet, or should I say the animal in the closet. He has a hard enough time living with his full moon antics, he doesn’t want to introduce that to someone else, he doesn’t even know how to go about it, how do you tell someone “Yeah by the way, I need to disappear once a month, specifically on the full moon,” without them getting suspicious, he certainly couldn’t tell them, no, no, that wouldn’t go well, even if they did believe him, which is slim to none, it’s completely insane. But I think once he get’s comfortable with someone, he would certainly drop ���I love you” before popping the werewolf card on them, but once he realizes how he feels, he would start to gauge how they feel, test the waters, watch how they act and what they say, to see if he can say it without getting shot down or seem like he’s moving too fast. He wants it to be naturally, he doesn’t want it to be over some dinner or something too staged, I think he would say it when he feels it. Maybe one day before he goes to disappear to work or whatever, keeps it causal, even though his heart is beating out of his chest, he’d kiss them on the cheek, “I’ll see you later, I love you.” And probably give a cheeky grin, but as soon as the door shuts, he scurries along, trying to distance himself from the apartment, and when he hears the door open up behind him he almost doesn’t stop, until he hears it back, and he’s sure he’s the happiest man alive in that moment.

But the casual theme here is that they would all want it to be relatively naturally, they don’t want something entirely staged or overdone. 

Excuse me while I go curl up into a ball and DIE fedsjfkdjsfk

[utameiday]

Plot & Story Meme:

Uta “Mei” Zetsumei

ONE PLACE

♦ Namai > Uta hails from the village of Namai in Yanxia, through the mountain pass from Doma Castle. It was there she grew up, learned to play her shamisen and bamboo flute, and was taught the harsh lessons war forces upon you. These days she occasionally treck’s between the island of Koshu, from Kugane to Namai where she performs at various taverns and establishments along the way before ultimately visiting her uncle.

TWO VILLAINS

♦ Unidentified Imperial Officer > During the rebellion’s last attempt to free Doma from it’s imperial grasp, before the refugees arrived in Aldenard, Uta’s parents were captured during an imperial interception. They were trying to make for the mountain pass over to the Ruby Sea at the time, but the ensuing conflict lead to public execution of Uta’s mom and dad. ♦ Satoru > Uta’s brother. For many years, he dwelled on hard jealousy as their parents seemed to give more resources and energy towards Uta, considering her a musical prodigy at the time. The redheaded raen’s distaste for labor and ability to talk herself out of work at the time served only to fuel his hatred even more. In the end, he felt unloved and overlooked, and was always too full of pride to come clean about it. He played a big part in ratting out the group who was intercepted before the Ruby Sea.

THREE RELATIONSHIPS

♦ Uta & Kotoken > Despite the loss of family, Kotoken, Uta’s uncle, is still alive and well. After the last rebels were snuffed out and shut down, he remained in Namai doing hard labor for the village along with the rest of it’s residents under imperial rule. After the imperial holds on Othard faded, Uta revisited him in hopes of catching up. The homecoming was bittersweet, as Kotoken harbored some spite towards her for leaving the village behind. Though deep inside himself, he understands her reasons. Alas, he remains a stoic and stern personality towards Uta in fear of the lazy teenage girl in her resurfacing. Beneath all this, he treasures Uta and only wish for her to not repeat mistakes of the past. ♦ Uta & Gank Hon > A man whom Uta met during her refuge to Aldenard. He was the first Uta truly came to love in a romantic sense. They spent a total of two cycles together. After the attempt to free Doma prior, he was left with an equivalent to Crohn’s disease. Medication and conjuration could only be distributed so much between the refugees in Mor Dhona, and thus he met his demise in the infirmary. ♦ Uta & The People Of Namai > Even after being absent for a long time, Uta is still regarded by the villagers who remember her as the Magpie of Namai. Her initial interest towards music stemmed from the disheartened spirits of her people after the Empire occupied Doma. With work dedicated towards rekindling the fire in their hearts, she came to be held in high esteem by those around her.

FOUR ITEMS

♦ Old Shamisen > Uta’s shamisen is as old as she can remember, and has seen it’s fair share of repairs due to time and wear. It has several traditional eastern inscriptions painted in black ink on the shamisen’s kawa(the drum-like portion of the body) which translates to “inside my heart.” She’s rarely seen without it hanging on her back. ♦ Bamboo Flute > Her bamboo flute was the first instrument Uta ever acquired. It was made with the help of her father, whom personally harvested the bamboo plant used to make the flute. Just like her shamisen, Uta is rarely seen without it on her person. ♦ Conical Hat > A simple farmer’s hat made from straws. Due to Namai being a village of rice farmers, Uta likes to carry it as a symbol of her home. Due to being socially inept, it also serves as something to hide beneath. While she has had many conical hats in her time, the one she wears today has been with her since her journey to Aldenard. Whenever the flower upon it withers, she finds a new one to take it’s place. ♦ Rope Bracelet > Uta carries with her a bracelet braided from rope dyed red. It has a soul crystal slot cast in brass dangling from it, though it’s empty.

FIVE CHARACTERS

♦ “Monty” > Monty was an old, snarky moogle whom Uta met in Twelveswood after Gank Hon died. She was approached by this mischievous being after having played for herself on a mossy rock. He would be her mentor for some time after that, eventually granting her a bard’s soul crystal, assured that she would be one whom could bring back the ways of the Bowmen of Eld. Uta never surpassed the ability to provide healing benefits through music, and as time went on, she began to grow suspicious of Monty’s motives. One night, Monty took back the soul crystal from Uta’s bracelet and left. After that night, Uta’s powers have only diminished, to the point where they are near non-existant. ♦ Tsusny > An old xaelic samurai whom holds nothing but spite towards Uta. They met by a random encounter, to which she had overheard an outrage of his that revealed grave things about his past. She tried to offer him comfort, but her social ineptness made it backfire. In truth, Tsusny avoids her like the plague in fear of what she knows. ♦ Akuma > The head of the Red Dragon Syndicate. Uta was first introduced to him and his syndicate after being hired to play at a small celebration of theirs. As he learned that Uta holds knowledge of his priced contractor - Tsusny - he slowly began making attempts to have her work for him. Since then, she has done arguably innocent work as an eavesdropper where information of his needs can be found. ♦ X’myra > A blonde, muscular alleycat from Thanalan. Uta met her by chance on Pearl Lane while practicing her shamisen. They clicked well rather quickly, as X’myra was on her way to practice too. Later that day, the miqo’te offered Uta a place to stay as she was without gil and roof during the time, and was thus introduced to The Cat’s Meow Bar & Grill, where she delivered a bit of an awkward performance during a stage night. They shared a bed innocently, and her respect for Uta’s repulsion towards physical contact at the time had her quickly grow fond of X’myra. They’ve been spotted together various times after that, the last being at an underground theater in Kugane. She’s the first Uta has begun to harbor romantic feelings for since Gank Hon, but she’ll hardly admit it. ♦ Jorogumo > Jorogumo is a palm-sized spider seemingly from the jumping spider family. It behaves rather weird, acknowledging Uta as a living being rather than just another large piece of the environment. Acting as her pet, she occasionally pets it in her palm. While Uta is convinced that the spider is a magical entity or spirit of some sort due to it’s odd behaviour, she has yet to uncover anything, and thus it remains a mystery. Regardless, she has appreciated Jorogumo’s company ever since they met in the Gelmorran Ruins.

SIX MOMENTS

♦ The Rice Field Murder > Uta bore witness to a dead body in the rice field surrounding her village as a child. Thinking the man asleep as she was barely the age of six, she left him there since he wouldn’t wake up, not taking notice to the blood that distilled through the water of the rice fields. Later that day, her mother demanded that she stay inside as there was a murderer in the village. Uta was then terrified over having touched and kneaded a dead man. ♦ Crescent Party > Accompanied by X’myra, Uta attended a party at Crescent. Initially very shy and stuck in her own bubble, the comfort of X’myra’s arm and a healthy amount of alcohol soon had her inner party animal wake up eventually. She vaguely remembers participating in some sort of contest involving clothes being swapped. How she managed to do that so quickly remains forgotten to her… Along with the rest of the night in general. ♦ A Moogle With ill Intent > After having been lead to an overgrown room in the Gelmorran Ruins by Monty, Uta was at first fascinated by the endless amount of old music sheets accompanying the harpsichord. However, it turned out that Uta was not very good at playing the harpsichord, to which Monty saw fit to glamour the exist, keeping her captive ‘til she could play what he deemed worthy. ♦ The Scum Of Eorzea > Uta was once paid to keep an eye on Tsusny by Akuma, which she accepted void of hesitation, due to her great need for gil at the time. Trailing him to a run-down cove on an isle west of Kugane, she was surrounded by every time of criminal one could possibly imagine. As she made her way through this uncomfortable, heinous place, she eventually found Tsusny in a tavern chamber. She will never forget what she bore witness to, nor could anything possibly change her view on him after that. ♦ The Kingpin > A late night on the corner of Pearl Lane, the freckled bard was approached by a one-eyed miqo’te who seemed to take pleasure in the music she had brought to Ul’dah. There was not much interaction between them, and he soon disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. She is still wondering to this day who he was. ♦ A Golden Opportunity > At one point, Uta had an interaction with Savo, which resulted in securing a spot on Night At The Cliffs. However, the raen was absent for a long period of time due to urgent matters surrounding her uncle, and could not stomach travel through aetherytes and still be able to perform when the time arrived.

SEVEN QUOTES

♦ “Wow. Okey, first of all, screw you, and your pubic moustache.” > Uta’s response to a lalafell drunkard dissing at her music. ♦ “I-I know y-you are sick, Gank, b-but I r-re… Refuse to leave your side ‘til death d-do us ap-apart.” > Stuttered words through Uta’s tears, once she came to realize that Gank Hon’s illness was something he would succumb to sooner or later. The words soon proved themselves to be true. ♦ “You know, we would be the /illest/ band if you could play drums.” > Uta talking to the unresponsive Jorogumo while sitting atop a mossy rock on the border of Gridania’s forest. ♦ “IT’S CALLED A BAMBOO FLUTE YOU UNCULTURED SWINE! ” > Yelled in a squeaking voice as an unimpressed xaela refered to her flute as a “whiny stick.” ♦ “If he really could resist my company, I’d be thrown out a long time ago.” > A response given to the rest of the people present in the room as Akuma called Uta down to his office. ♦ -grumpy mumbling- > Various profanities uttered under aggressive mumbling as Uta was banned from a particular bar. The reason being that she sung just about every song she was not supposed to sing at the owner’s wedding. ♦ “Please don’t, I beg you… They are not all the same!” > Uta pleading for a Flames trooper to refrain from executing a wounded imperial soldier, after having gained more insight into his motives and moralities. They didn’t listen.

Tagged by : @nightmaze thank you so much! It took me quite some time, but it was fun to do♥ Tagging : first and foremost @dmlynx , @rockodopolous and @nharuya for mentions, and @rokachan @jadestormbrand @cleaver-xiv @alfiavinn @cutemilee @kulain @mekamage @pearlofhope @pearlescent-scales @fheylahaken @lordofcrowns @avetterayohffxiv @gunnarsvard Blank Template : <html> - <basic>

[nemesis-nexus]

Full Pink Supermoon 2020

HAIL THE ANCIENT FAMILY, HEAR US! It never ceases to amaze me how much we take life and everything in it for granted. What is happening to the world now really should not come as any surprise considering that you can only kick a dog so many times before it jumps up and bites you! In this case the dog is Mother Nature and the bite is in the form of a very serious illness that has forced the human population into the very same form of isolation they have been forcing several other species such as the coyote, bear and wolf into in the sense that the humans are no longer able to go wherever and do whatever they want to because there is a predator on the loose that they can’t see that is threatening their existence! Somehow I don’t think they like the idea of being herded and corralled too much, but what is the likeliness that they’ll transfer this disruption to their lives and attribute it to how they treat the animal kingdom or the ecosystem in general?

I find it interesting that with the resurgence of Paganism and Heathenism that this catastrophic event is occurring now! I mean one (of several) things that we Pagans/Heathens are known for is respecting and coexisting with nature. I’m not saying that we are alone in this HOWEVER this is something we HAVE in fact been SLAUGHTERED for and accused of evil practices and what have you when ALL we were doing was acknowledging the Spirits that exist in all living things including the Earth, Air, Water and Fire and utilizing their properties as Nature intended, in medicines, hunting and religious/spiritual rituals and work! Never taking more than what was needed and ALWAYS replacing what was picked and using every last part of what was taken from the hunt! These are the things that were seriously discouraged against under the severely misguided assumption that everything here is ONLY here for the human race to use, abuse, deplete and destroy yet they can’t fathom how we got to where we are and of course there’s always the scapegoat, the excuse, the one that everyone hangs their hat on so as to avoid having to take responsibility for their actions because of course it’s never their fault!

Unfortunately for them they are going to have to own up to their responsibilities in the latest disaster that is plaguing and I do mean that quite literally plaguing this planet because I believe it's man-made in fact I know it's man-made there is ample proof of this being man-made but that's neither here nor there, the fact of the matter is we need to retrace every step that we have taken that led up to what's currently happening and the fact of the matter is what's going on is born out of indifference, greed, distrust, selfishness and arrogance! What makes me say this? Think about it, why would you mess with a biologic that you know is destructive on such a grand scale that you need to wear hazmat suits yourselves to handle it in a laboratory? What is the point or purpose of having such a biologic in the first place if not to unleash it on the masses to do the irreparable harm that it has done? What other possible motive could you have to engineer something like that and the response really is that there is no other reason why you would create something like this except to do the damage that has done! I am hoping that I am wrong and that this whole fiasco was a terrible mistake but you will have to excuse me if I, with everything else the human race has done, am having a VERY hard time believing this was an accident!

We can sit here and we can spit nails, we can light it up, we can do whatever but the reality is we are where we are right now and regardless of who's responsible and yes those who are directly responsible DO need to be brought to justice and be held accountable for what they allowed to happen! In the meantime we need to put our egos in our pockets and leave them at the door, we need to step back and say look we can't change what happened 6 months ago but we can work on what's happening now so that it's not still happening 6 months from now and if the one of the best ways to staunch the spread of the virus is to socially isolate ourselves then that's what we're going to have to do, it may be frustrating, but it won’t last forever!

For those of you who are Spiritual you know that even if you are away from the rest of the world that we are NOT alone we will always have our ancestors by our side, we will always have our Gods at the helm, we will always have our higher spiritual selves guiding us because at the end of the day that's really all we have - obviously besides the Earth and all the physical things - I'm talking about metaphysical and in these kinds of situations people need to rely on their faith, it is what will get us through even the hardest times. Our Ancestors are proof positive of this fact, it was their beliefs that saw them through some of the most arduous times of human history!

During this time of quarantine it is absolutely imperative that people remember that there are places without walls that do still exist and you can travel to them even while isolated. Again if one is Spiritual you know the physical is not the only realm we operate in and therefore not the only plane we exist on, some people are highly proficient at this and other who are just starting out not so much but Astral Projection is very useful, not just in times like these but during times of personal and Spiritual introspection and just to take Spiritual journey without leaving where you are physically. For those who are not familiar, Astral Projection is the art of being physically in on spot, for example sitting in your bedroom while allowing your Spirit or Soul to transcend your physical being and the physical world and go flying around the Astral Plane.

In other words the metaphysical version of our selves and the realm that exists all around us enables us to take a trip to the woods, take a walk on the beach, do whatever we need to do to get out of our own heads without ever leaving the house! Now like I said those who are not as experienced with using this particular practice may find it a little difficult at first, don’t be discouraged! We all start somewhere and the easiest way to start this is through your basic meditations; deep breathing exercises and an environment conducive to calmness and clarity. Once you setup your workspace, mind you this can be done in Darkness OR Light, it depends on what the individual is more comfortable with, I personally prefer the Darkness but that's just me.

Once you are all set up, sit there and try to relax, again if you're not used to this it might take a few attempts to relax, it may not happen right away but practice makes perfect so just keep at it and you will get it in your own time! Once you are ready close your eyes, breathe deep in through the nose, out through the mouth. Do this for maybe five minutes or however long it takes you to get relaxed and then in your mind envision where it is you want to go, you can just walk around or you can pick a very specific location, for example I love the Ocean! In my Heart I'm always on the beach anytime I get overly stressed or if I'm feeling particularly feisty or melancholy I’m down on the shoreline because the Water is a catalyst, it's also very representative of my Spiritual being in that you may know what I'm dealing with anytime depending on what the Water is doing; for example if the Water is crashing against the Seawall and flying over across the street, chances are I'm a little ticked off or going through a rough time and feeling a wee bit…Energetic… not necessarily in a good way but not necessarily in a bad way; if the Water is calm then I am feeling more contemplative and most likely lost in thought.

I love being on the beach during a Full Moon, gazing at the Moon Trail leading out to the Moon Pool is very alluring, I can't tell you how many times I’ve fantasized about following that trail right up to the pool, obvious problem is the pool is kind of sort of in the middle of the ocean and yeah undertow and riptides are a thing that oftentimes are quite dangerous. This is an example of the Balance that exists everywhere in Nature and why we need to keep alert ESPECIALLY when wandering around the Astral Plane. My point is that by allowing your Spirit to wander by allowing your Heart and your Mind to take flight you're not only alleviating the stress and the strain that you're under, you're also seeing the world through completely different eyes! You are seeing the world the way it was meant to be seen, through the Spiritual and maybe just maybe you'll see it is not necessarily a cage to be trapped, but a MULTIFACETED playground of sorts that adjoins all energy on every level of the Multiverse!

If you're from an inner-city and you're not able to get to a Forest or to the Ocean, it's very difficult it can be very Spiritually draining, but at the same time you have an environment that other people don't deal with and it is important that you stay in tune with it so that when you meet other people from around the world you can explain (not that you owe anyone an explanation) why you're not as able to relax as easily as they are being from a place that may be less volatile. One of the most consistent things that I get told when I talk to people about meditation is that they have a very hard time turning it off, meaning the voices in their head - no I'm not (necessarily) talking about schizophrenia, but generally loud and persistent thoughts. You know when you're going through a very stressful time and replaying the situation or situations depending on what's going on over and over and over again it can be very hard to turn it off.

A great example of this is where a person is located; when you live in a city, especially one that's prone to violence and I don't mean like every other day somebody might get pushed, I'm talking about everyday somebody's getting shot or stabbed or some other horrific thing, chances are you're not likely to be able to relax right away, it depends on the person but you're not as likely to be able to meditate easily because obviously you're concerned about your own safety and that of your family. Unfortunately even here in Boston there have been people who were sitting in their own living rooms minding their own business who have gotten shot and that's inconceivable , I can't even use the word unfortunate it's actually very distressing that you can't even sit in your own home alone and not have to worry about whether or not a bullet is going to come flying through the wall at you! I remember a story a few years ago that there was a three-year-old up on I think it was a third-floor balcony and she ended up getting shot in the spine, it rendered her a paraplegic, however, this Wee Ones Spirit was and is such that she is STILL pushing onward!

It's this kind of craziness that the human race has allowed itself to devolve to that is undermining our ability to move forward as a whole! Our slick, fast-paced, instant gratification culture dictates that we need it RIGHT NOW or all interest is lost in it, there is no patience or tenacity anymore. What is worse is not only do people want instant gratification about everything but they don't care about what happens after they're gone! Now I've touched base on this before and while I can't remember who actually said it, this person states that “the entire purpose of life is to create something that will outlast us” I agree with this wholeheartedly and right now what's going on is a perfect opportunity to do just that because right now we need to remember that we are NOT the only ones living on the Earth, we are NOT the only ones who rely on the ecosystem to live! EVERYTHING here relies on the ecosystem to thrive and everything here needs everything else to exist! We are all connected in the Web of Existence and Life, no one part anywhere can exist on its own, it doesn't matter if you're a bear or squirrel or badger or water lily or deer or whatever it doesn't matter if you are 4 million year old fossil in the in the North Sea somewhere!

It doesn't matter because EVERYTHING is connected and if any one part of that Web falls out of place or collapses or in any way shape or form becomes compromised, everything else suffers and you know how I can prove it? LOOK AT THE WORLD AS IT IS AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW cuz everything that is happening right now is a perfect example of exactly what I'm talking about our environment has been severely compromised on all levels and who's responsible for it??? I’ll give you a hint; it isn't the coyote who lost his habitat because developers decided he wasn't important enough to allow him to have a home, it wasn't the bear in the same situation who was just minding his own damn business eating a fish and just some self important human decided to shoot it, not because it was doing anything, but because it was THERE! It wasn't the cheetah on the savanna and it sure as hell wasn't the polar bear who is currently STARVING TO DEATH because of human greed! It wasn't any of them, they weren’t harming any human, only engaging in what Nature ingrained into them to do, what they have been doing forever without any issues among them! So who's to blame? Yes exactly, the humans who decided that they were above the Natural Order!

The humans are to blame for the wanton destruction and extinction of multiple species both animal and botanical. Now again we can sit here and we can pipsquawk about it, we can raise the roof on it, but that alone is not going to change anything. What needs to happen is we need actions to accompany our words, so addressing the issues is a good start but formulating ideas as to how to go about improving the situation also needs to happen or we are no better off than we were before! I believe this is happening at the very time that Paganism and Heathenism are resurging - mind you I'm not saying resurfacing because that indicates that it went away and disappeared, oh no oh no no no no no, we've been here the whole time watching and waiting, we never went anywhere - just because we were underground doesn't mean that we disappeared no matter how much some people would like to think!

I believe that this is a giant wake up call to everybody and it does not surprise me in the least at all that this is occurring at the time that Paganism and Heathen is resurging as we are the ones who always had a deep respect for Nature and again it's not just us, other cultures all over the world existed and coexisted within the parameters of the Natural World I mean you could call them Heathens as we since the word really only means anybody who doesn't believe in the Abrahamic doctrines which is pretty much anyone. My point is that those who have always respected Nature, those who have always existed within the parameters, those who have always coexisted with the Natural World, that we are making that resurgence and every day I see more and more people wanting to cast off the shackles of Abraham because they are fed up with the hypocrisy, greed, hate and oppression, they are looking to come HOME where they are welcomed as they are and not shamed or beaten into submission over someone else’s self serving agenda!

A few years ago couple years ago in North Dakota when the #NODAPL protests were occurring people from ALL OVER THE WORLD descended upon the Standing Rock Reservation to stand in solidarity with the Sioux. These are people who have NEVER met, had no personal agenda except protecting the Water and Earth, yet they came from EVERYWHERE to let it be known where they stand! There is a Hopi prophecy that says and I'm paraphrasing cuz I can't remember exactly how it is worded but it says that “When the world is in jeopardy and everything is really really bad, that the people will come together from everywhere, united as one and they will be called the Rainbow Warriors” and that is exactly what I'm talking about right now because the Indigenous peoples are very very in tune with Nature and they too could also be considered Heathens, in fact they were called SAVAGES, because they didn't do things the way that the pilgrims did them and like us refused to convert and as a result were slaughtered by the hundreds of thousands!

I agree with the Rainbow Tribe prophecy and again it does not surprise me especially after what's been happening since 2016 (and that's very recent yet most certainly not the only example) that the resurgence of Paganism and Heathenism among other Nature based Paths is occurring at the very same time that this is because again I think it's a wake-up call! I think people need to pay attention and realize that we cannot continue to abuse Mother Earth, we cannot continue to abuse the Waters, we cannot continue to abuse the Air or the Fire or the Spirit and NOT expect at some point for it all to turn around and bite us right in the ass! That's exactly what it's going to do and that's what it's doing right now and our only option (in my opinion) is we need to take a step back and realize what is important and what's important is not money it is NOT material wealth nor is it about acquiring all the toys before you die; what's important is LIFE across the board!

If we do not take care of what is happening now anybody who has kids, anybody who has or wants grandkids or has nieces and/or nephews should be aware that it’s YOUR CHILDREN who are going to suffer - and I'm not even going to say from your mistakes as that indicates something occurring accidentally - they're going to suffer from your DELIBERATE AND CALCULATED misdeeds and for those of you who don't have kids who have this “well I'm not going to be here x amount of years from now so I really don't care” you know what? That's the SAME attitude that people who came before you had and look where YOU are! Is that the reason why you feel the way you do? You're so bitter over what they’ve done to you and the things that might have been taken away from you and just destroyed before you had a chance to enjoy them that you don't care if anyone else ends up in that situation?

If so you really need to reevaluate your priorities and get a handle on your ego, realize that you have the power to make the change for somebody else that should have been made for you a long time ago and if you're actively deciding to NOT do that then you are directly contributing to the problem which means you're directly contributing to all those people - NOT just the human people - who are suffering and in many cases are dying not just from covid-19, not just from influenza or the poison pills that Big Pharma churns out regularly to combat a laundry list of imaginary afflictions, not just from pollution, but from lack of give a damn! There are so many out there who need a little help and it doesn't take a whole lot to lend someone a helping hand, you don’t even have to tell them it was you who did it if you are more inclined to do so anonymously.

For example there are commercials that are run on TV for Shriners Hospital that have the kids who are being assisted expressing their gratitude that people care enough to enable them to be kids! While these kids are all amazing and accomplishing great things, it is the ones that are donating to the hospital that are enabling these kids to have a normal life and that's what I'm talking about, a little give a damn goes a long way! When we come together any little thing that we do will help in creating a bigger and better picture for all concerned! We can overcome any problem but we really have to stop thinking about ourselves and lose this me me me me I want I want I want attitude because it’s not helping anyone including ourselves!

We can't live in a self-righteous vacuum like that anymore, we cannot put the ecosystem on the backburner anymore because we are engineering our own destruction when we continue to do this and the evidence is all around us! If we keep traveling down this road we will end up in a sense committing mass suicide and the human race will NOT be the only one to be erased as a result of our arrogance! Our irresponsibility has gotten us to the point where we no longer have the option to put off acknowledging just how much trouble the world is in, we no longer have the luxury to put it aside and not pay attention to it because the ecosystem is just a ‘thing’, it is a thing all right, it is the LIVING and DYING thing that is going to do whatever it needs to do to ensure its own survival with or WITHOUT us!

When you have entire countries going on lockdown forbidding people to travel, in or out, that is a sign of the times and it's not a good one! My Danish friend told me that Denmark is completely locked down and will be so until at least August canceling any and all summertime activities which obviously the people, the kids especially, are not happy about but at the same time I'm sure they would rather live to see next year’s festivities than tempt fate this year and not be around to enjoy next year, so even though it is going to be very difficult I am sure that next year’s events will be that much more rambunctious as a result! It is going to be an extremely trying time but so long as we stand together, so long as we have each other's backs, so long as we take care and give a damn about our neighbors, we WILL get through this, but it's not just about getting through this, it's about what we're going to do AFTER we get through this, how are we going to handle ourselves AFTER we get through this, how are we going to view the world AFTER we get through this, how are we going to treat the environment AFTER we get through this, how are we going to look at our financial situation AFTER we get through this? Why do I bring up finances? Because again one of the MAIN factors that got us to where we are is the never-ending pursuit of the almighty dollar by any means necessary, no matter who it hurts or what kind of devastation it leaves in its wake!

We all know that money is an illusion, it’s really just a form of invisible slavery keeping people on the hook of a faceless entity! It is invisible meaning that you don't actually see your money when it's in the bank but because you have an account you also have a collar around your neck and this is what the world tells you is your personal worth! This is one of several reasons why I believe the human race has lost its way, because the human race has has equated material possessions and money as being a paramount to EVERYTHING else including Life across the board! Many people have this attitude that if you have enough money then you can do whatever you want to, you can burn down the rainforest, you can cut down the woods and develop on the land then kill any animal that has the nerve to be taking a walk through what used to be its home, you can dump all your toxic waste into the rivers and the watershed, you can allow toxins from various industries to pollute the air causing acid rain, you can kill all the animals you want and just toss out the carcass, you can slaughter those wolves and kill that 10-point buck just to have a head for your wall! Hell you can even rape and kill other humans and get away with it so long as you write a big enough check to whoever’s reelection!

If you have the money you're special and you can get away with anything - well we're seeing the result of that right now and the result is you are NOT special, you will NOT get away with anything, you are NOT exempt from anything that you have done and will do! You WILL be held accountable for it all, if not by the human population, then by the Divine, by the Nature Spirits who are always watching over everything! We need to remember who we are we are –we are Water Protectors, we are Earth Guardians, we are here to maintain the Natural Order, we are here to take care of the planet for all current and future generations of Life across the board! Mother Nature really doesn't need for us to do a whole lot of anything as far as taking care of things is concerned; she has been taking care of business for TRILLIONS of millennia and will continue to do so long after we are gone!

What she needs for us to do is STOP taking for granted that things will always be there when we need them as they won’t be if we continue to use up and deplete our natural resources, she needs us to STOP destroying everything because we think we are above it all, what she needs for us to do is make sure that everything is running smoothly so that everything here can stay here! I mean yes we are also here to work the land and to take care of it ourselves and everything else but what we're not here to do is take advantage or to be abusive, to treat everything as though it is beneath us because nothing is beneath us, if anything we are at the mercy of Nature and how well we care for the ecosystem directly determines how well it will take care of us! Remember -the Earth does NOT need us, we need the Earth! We all exist together, we are not above or below anything else, we all exist in the same Circle!

Now with everything that's happening this is the time to take that step back, to take stock of your Life to see what it is that you've been doing up to this point, what it is that you could be doing at this point, what it is you will do tomorrow to help not only yourself but your fellow man as well as the environment! While this is a sermon I am not trying to be overly preachy or anything like that because I know everybody is stressed out, everybody is nearing the ends of their tethers. There's a lot of malaise running rampant and unfortunately this isn't the only thing that's going on for some people. There have been deaths in the family for some people, there have been losses of jobs and income which is obviously not helping the stress levels go down and there are other things that are happening in addition to this virus and the social isolation it made necessary. So yes it is a very trying time but we are a very resilient people, we are a very strong and tough species, we know that we are because if we weren't we wouldn't have survived all these years all these millennia given everything our Ancestors had to work through!

However, sometimes that kind of strength and that kind of stubbornness allows your ego to become a little inflamed and you end up doing what the human race has been doing that brought us to where we are today. While we can't do anything about the past, what we can do is learn from it so that it doesn’t happen again! This is why history is very VERY important as those who forget history as well as those who never knew history and refuse to learn about it, are the enablers! They are the ones that will enable the tragedies and hardships of the past to reoccur! Ignorance is not bliss and we no longer have the luxury of claiming that we didn’t and don’t know just how bad off we are, but again we DO have the power to change course to bring everything back. We can still come back Full Circle and resume showing our Mother Nature the respect and appreciation she damn well deserves because she is the one that provides all of us with everything regardless of what Path we walk, she only cares that WE care!

Without our Mother Nature to provide everything from the Air we breathe, to the Fire that warms us, the Earth we are comprised of, the Water that is Life (MNI WICONI), without her we are NOTHING, we do NOT exist and now is the time to step up and remember this, it's not too late! Yes things are bad, things are VERY bad but it is not too late to change ourselves and in turn change our circumstances! We can, instead of just stewing at home, take this time to contemplate; I mean really, REALLY take into consideration what we want out of Life and how we're going to go about achieving it! Not only that what can we do to improve the situation generally speaking, not just for our neighbors, but for the Earth!

We can clean up the mess we made and even though chances are we're not going to clean up the entire mess in our lifetime, we no longer have any excuses left as to why we can’t at least get the boulder rolling! This is the reason why we utilize what time we do have to create something that will in fact outlast us because if we start now then we can pass on these new values that are directly connected to the Old Ways and eventually one of the future generations will bring it back Full Circle and hopefully at that time a fully replenished Earth and Natural coexistence will once again reign supreme and every species from the Human Race to the Animal Kingdom to the Flora and the Fauna will continue to uphold each other just like we used to before the fevered egos took over!

I still have hope that this is possible and I know I'm not alone on this so we all need to remember that no matter how alone we might feel right now that we are one even though we are many and we stand strongest when we stand together no matter where we are no matter what's going on when it comes to matters of the Heart and Mind distance does not exist, we are all connected through the Spirit!

Those of you who are familiar with my writing know that I like to end my sermons with a personal poem/prayer/song whatever you’d like to call it or with a song that exemplifies everything written in the sermon. This time I am including Heilung’s “Galgadr” because it speaks directly to everything I talked about and being that the song is about Ragnarock, makes it the perfect song for not only this sermon, but to explain WHY the colossal upheaval that is currently underway is absolutely necessary!

This excerpt started life as a stream of thought but since it falls in direct correlation to the sermon, I decided to include it in its entirety!

We WILL get through this so long as we work together and do what we need to do to create a stopping point where this virus finds itself at the end of its own road with nowhere left to go!

Keep the faith! So long as we keep our minds on the present and our focus on the future, there are brighter days ahead! Look no further for proof of this than how much healing the ecosystem has undergone in the couple of months that the virus has forced the humans to be quarantined in their own homes!

It may seem like a harsh observation, HOWEVER, had the human race's consistent assault on the ecosystem not been what it was (and still is) for all this time then perhaps the extreme response from Nature wouldn't have been warranted!

It is time we got past our own fevered egos and came together as the Sisters and Brothers that we're supposed to be, to work towards a mutual resolution that benefits not only the human race but continues to further the healing of our Great Mother Earth!

While we know it is human nature to be social, we also know it's human nature to be competitive. That being said this is not the Hunger Games or Game of Thrones or any other Hollywood inspired garbage, this is REAL LIFE with consequences you take to the grave!

So don't be stupid and don't be arrogant, don't think that because you're asymptomatic that you're not infected and/or can't infect other people! If your local government tells you to stay at home for a period of time then do so!

Remember this is not just about you but about everybody you know! I'm not usually one to obey anything any government says but when it comes to something like this precautions are necessary!

We know that there will be resistors regardless of how much information is put out there so instead of enabling them, let us take care of ourselves and our beloved ones!

"Brothers shall fight

and fell each other,

And sisters' sons

shall kinship stain;

Hard is it on earth,

with mighty whoredom;

Axe-time, sword-time,

shields are sundered,

Wind-time, wolf-time,

ere the world falls;

Nor ever shall men

each other spare.

axe-time,

sword-time,

wind-time,

wolf-time.

I incant against the spirit;

against the walking (spirit),

against the riding one,

against the running one,

against the sitting one,

against the signing one,

against the travelling one,

against the flying one,

It shall completely wither and die.

Now do I see

the earth anew

Rise all green

from the waves again;

The cataracts fall,

and the eagle flies,

And fish he catches

beneath the cliffs.

-Heilung ("Galgaldr")

The point of quoting this song is because it is the perfect description of what is happening right now. It's perfect because what it's describing is in fact the end of the world which is not what people think it is; it is not creation ceasing to exist. What it really is is the destruction of everything that no longer works so that the creation can go on existing and thrive once again!

We know that death is not just a physical thing we have discussed this before, it is Spiritual and Metaphysical as well! We've also discussed that there is no creation without destruction, no life without death! These two things while they may seem like polar opposites are actually what keeps everything in Balance!

The only way for the new world to arise as for the previous world to die off. It may sound harsh but unfortunately in order for the Phenex to rise from the fire it has to burn itself to death first! What emerges from this seeming act of self-destruction is in all reality a more vital and vibrant world!

We are going through such a transition right now and as scary as it is at times, we will get through if we work together AND we will come out stronger and better for it!

ZI ANA KANPA!

(HAIL THE PRIEST OF THE SKY!)

ZI KIA KANPA!

(HAIL THE PRIEST OF THE EARTH!)

MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!

(THE WARRIORS WHO WILL RISE UP TO FIGHT THE FINAL BATTLE!)

NEVER Back Up! NEVER Back Down!

NEVER Give Up! NEVER Give In!

HAIL CERRENOUS!

HAIL MORGANA !

HAIL DIANA!

HAIL LUGH!

AVÉ IGGIGI!

AVÉ ANUNNA!

AVÉ DRACHE!

HAIL THE GREAT SERPENT!

RESPECT TO TYR!

RESPECT TO ODINN!

RESPECT TO FRIGGA!

RESPECT TO NJÖRD!

RESPECT TO RAN!

RESPECT TO AEGIR!

RESPECT TO THE NINE SISTERS!

RESPECT TO ALL AQUATIC SPIRITS!

RESPECT TO FREYA!

RESPECT TO FREYR!

RESPECT TO ÞOR!

RESPECT TO BALDUR!

RESPECT TO EIR!

RESPECT TO HEL!

We are ONE even though we are MANY and we stand STRONGEST when we stand TOGETHER!

HAIL THE ANCIENT FAMILY!

🐍🌎🌬🛶💖🌿🦌🐺🐲💧🔥🐉

HPS Meg “Nemesis Nexus” Prentiss

[pika-ace]

In the Heights at the Virginia Rep!!

Alright, I promised I would, so here we go! I got to see ITH at the Virginia Rep and in short, IT WAS AMAAAAZIIIIIIING!!!! I wrote down a BUNCH of little gems from the show that this version did so get ready, this is gonna be a long one!

But first, a picture of the stage for your viewing pleasure. 

And now, without further ado! Let us begin!

First off, let’s talk about some of the interpretations of our beloved characters! (And here’s a picture of the program, just cause X3)

Usnavi (played by JJ Caruncho) was just so...so...adorably huggy as Usnavi! Like, every time he got upset I just wanted to run up onto the stage and hug him and comfort him, he was just so cute! And also very jumpy (meaning the dancing was adorable X3), like whenever Usnavi got upset or anxious his voice would slowly rise in pitch and almost sound hysterical and depending on the scenario it was adorable or heartbreaking :(

Arielle Jacobs as Vanessa was fab, as expected and I really liked her gentle tone. I only watched the bootleg with her as Nina once, so I didn’t remember what she sounded like, but she was great, that is all. Shea Gomez, our Nina, was also great, and GOOD LORD did she have some strong vocals on her! Her voice was like an arrow of pure melodic strength, it could cut through ANYTHING!

Josh Marin as Benny was great, his chemistry with Nina was just *blows kiss* superb. Same for Usnavi and Vanessa (I think someone said JJ and Arielle are dating in real life, but boy you can tell cause they are ADORBS!!) And OH, Melissa Vasquez Cartwright as Daniela, was the freaking BEST!! She blended the feeling of a cool mom and a strict authority figure PERFECTLY! Speaking of mom-figures, Yvonne Strumecki as Abuela was BEAUTIFUL!! And her chemistry with everyone was amazing (Paciencia Y Fe was GOLDEN).

James Schoppe as Sonny was great as well as Roberto Whitaker as Pete. But Kita Grayson as Carla was probably my favorite because she was SO SMOL!! Like, SMALLER THAN SONNY!! HER HEAD REACHED HIS CHEST!! SHE WAS TEENY AND I LOVED IT!! And her relationship with Daniela almost seemed like psuedo mother-daughter and it was freaking adorable!!

To finish this off, here’s a poster I bought! They had these in the gift shop and it’s autographed by everyone in the cast! (just the main cast I believe, but I’m not sure)

And now for little tidbits I loved from each number:

Opening

We got Usnavi running up to Pete from the aisle as well as ensemble members entering from there as well (a fav blocking move of mine X3) 

Sonny ran down the aisle at top speed with his backpack and straightened his hat before coming in (you know you late, boy XD)

When Vanessa entered, Usnavi, Benny, and Sonny all peeked out the door, and Usnavi just put a hand on his heart and had this TOTALLY love-struck dreamy smile on his face and it was pure and adorable X3

Usnavi goes into the bodega a few seconds later and makes her coffee with Sonny while he and Benny basically prep him to go and talk to her (ask her out, dammit!!)

Breathe/Benny’s Dispatch

Sonny ACTUALLY kinda had a goatee but Usnavi grabbed his chin like ‘I think that’s fridge grease’ (typical cousin stuffs; I approve)

Abuela came out and called for Nina from the fire escape at the end of the song

Benny was just so excited to run the radio. He like rubbed his hands together like ‘Shit, I’m actually gonna do this!’ 

When Nina walked in, Benny just about started and just looked totally lovestruck at her smiling face

When announcing Nina, he pulled the microphone off the counter and wrapped it around Nina X3

It Won’t Be Long Now

Vanessa was not having none of the boys shit! She was just pushing them away and gesturing for them to get lost while she sang (like a BOSS)

Vanessa rocked a pair of shades as she pushed two boys away and flipped them the double bird...AKA THE GREATEST IMAGE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!

Usnavi attacked the boys with DOUBLE COFFEE POT ACTION!! And he even pretended to sheave them like pistols from a Western movie (I LOVE THIS DORK!!)

Sonny was basically standing by the door and giving Usnavi signals as he talked (Ultimate wingman Sonny strikes again X3)

Usnavi and Sonny silently fought over who would go into the store to get Vanessa’s things XD

Usnavi came back out behind Vanessa right when she asked ‘Does your cousin dance?’ and Usnavi quickly gave Sonny a thumb’s up and he slowly came up with an answer XD

Inutil/No Me Diga/9600

Kevin pulled out a piece of paper at the very end of the song, probably the offer from the company to buy the business (FORESHADOWING)

Just...the facial expressions during the whole salon bit, including the song. 

Sonny actually danced with DANIELA during 9600 and Pete had a tiny solo with Carla

Sonny’s whole bit seemed to impress a few people, cause a few girls came up to him after Vanessa stated how cute he was X3

Paciencia Y Fe

Okay, this was the coolest number, in my opinion by FAR!!

There were stars in the background sky for just about the whole song

People came on with old timey clothes right off the bat and during the part when Abuela was singing about La Vibora, everyone was dancing together

But when the song got to Abuela talking about when she got to America, they actually had a younger dancer represent her as a child (her skirt had the same floral patter as Abuela’s dress

The dancer went around but all the people either refused to dance with her or drove her away and Abuela slowly following her younger self around the stage and it was just so cool because I’M ALL ABOUT THAT SYMBOLISM BOIIIIIIII!!

When You’re Home/Piragua

When Nina said the ‘Your bedtime’ line, Sonny laughed for a few seconds like it was a joke and then paused. ‘...not yet.’ And glances back the bodega and Usnavi (boy, you go to sleep at 8, don’t you? XD)

People are just walking past Piragua song and going down the aisle, acting like they see something, which happens to be OFFSTAGE MR. SOFTEE (that scoundrel!!)

The Club/Blackout

Abuela’s stoop steps lit up neon for the club! 

Instead of a red dress (Yolanda had that and it was sparkly!) Vanessa had a short black dress with cool floral like patterns all over it.

Usnavi had, like, three shots with Benny and he was already tipsy XD ‘Sure, Vanessa, you can go dance with that other guy.’ USNAVI YOU’RE DRUNK, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING!!

Sonny was in the club as well, and he was dancing with Carla and when Vanessa got stolen again for the men chorus bit, he was trying to give Usnavi signals of what to do while Usnavi just looked at him helplessly

When Usnavi started dancing with Yolanda, oh my GOD, the poor boy couldn’t keep up with her! She was TOO GOOD!

Usnavi eventually just goes to Vanessa while the other guy’s back is turned and just gently takes her hand and leads her to the dance floor for a nice simple waltz.

The same guy tries to get Vanessa back and Usnavi tries to stop him and USNAVI ends up getting punched first, prompting Benny to step in (if any of you tag this as Ben**avi, I swear to god... X( )

We actually see Usnavi run down the aisle during Blackout and run into Abuela’s apartment

Sunrise/Hundreds of Stories

First, can I just say, Benny shirtless was looking FINE X3 

Sonny is the first to get to the bodega and just looks devastated and Daniela gives him a little comfort before Sonny and Pete start cleaning the trash

Usnavi came out when the song ended, looking all happy because of the lotto money and he sees the store and...ugh, it hurts; as in, his voice cracks when he says he’d like to be left alone with his broken grate D:

Usnavi’s voice was shaking SO BAD when he was telling Sonny to gather stuff up, he was trying so hard to be the bigger man and after the bit with Vanessa (poor girl hurried off stage almost in tears) Usnavi’s just DESTROYED

When Abuela asks ‘Are you okay’ Usnavi shows her the broken photo of the bodega’s first customer (AAARGH MY HEART)

The chemistry between Usnavi and Abuela shines like the SUN here! In seconds, Abuela has Usnavi smiling and laughing in excitement from the lotto money and it’s just so...so GENUINE AND LOVING IT HURTS

Usnavi’s voice just got so high and hysterical, he almost slammed the photo on the table on the line ‘the bodega’s a mess’ and Abuela calmed him down

‘Remember the story of your name’ and Usnavi lets out a mix between a laugh and sob that just hurt my soul

Carnival Del Barrio

Pete swept dust onto Carla and she sprayed him with a little spray bottle in retaliation XD

Sonny and Vanessa looked just about CRUSHED when Usnavi made the announcement. They both went to each other and were frantically talking

I swear, I could see Sonny saying stuff like ‘What about me?’ ‘What about the bodega?’ before going and sulking on the steps of the stage (Usnavi even tries to cheer him up a bit with his Dominican flag X3)

Benny looks embarrassed a bit when he and Nina are found out but he eventually turns sheepish and it looks adorable X3 (Also, Sonny was SO SALTY! Like he looked at Benny with spread arms  like ‘What the hell, man??)

FLAG FREAKING EVERYWHERE!! DR, PR, Cuba, you name it!

Usnavi gets Sonny and Vanessa to actually cheer up and Sonny and Benny hang a GIANT ASS DOMINICAN FLAG BETWEEN THE BODEGA AND THE STOOP FROM THE FIRE ESCAPES!! THE CULTURAL PRIDE WAS THROUGH THE GOD DAMN ROOF!!

Alabanza/Everything I Know

As usual, Usnavi was trying SO HARD not to break down

‘She was just here’ Usnavi gestures to the spot on the stoop where she sat (Whoops, there goes my soul)

Sonny came forward and gave Usnavi’s hand a squeeze

Benny and Nina were front and center stage during the big part of Alabanza, in each other’s arms, but the main spotlight stayed on Usnavi

During ‘Everything’ Usnavi leaves the scene in legit TEARS. Like, he can barely speak

Song ends with Nina in tears, holding the folder of keepsakes to her chest

Champagne/When the Sun Goes Down/Finale

Sonny walks into the store and just doesn’t acknowledge Usnavi. ‘C’mon Sonny, don’t be like that; don’t act like you can’t hear me.’

Sonny actually goes into the backroom for a minute and comes out drinking Cola Champagne before talking to Usnavi (Sonny, you little shit!!)

The whole ‘I’m freeing you’ but sounded a lot more genuine and heartfelt. It almost felt like Usnavi was saying, ‘You’re grown up now, it’s time for me to let you go’

Usnavi opens his arms for a hug before Sonny leaves but he doesn’t go for it DX 

Sonny goes, ‘This is the end of an era’ and does a fake echo effect on the word era XD

Usnavi just about throws the rag away when Vanessa says ‘we got a date’ XD

Usnavi’s voice cracks again on ‘It’s been a long day’ (STOP PLAYING WITH MY FEELS, SHOW!!)

Speaking of voice cracks, Benny sounds like he’s on the verge of tears when singing to Nina :’(

When the mural bit happens, Usnavi stops Sonny, puts a hand on his heart, touches Sonny’s heart and then sends him off (MY BOYS!! :D)

Bonus: Also, I think this version ships Sonny and Carla in some respect, not just because of all the dance duets they got, but because they seemed to be getting pretty cozy during the Finale (I couldn’t really tell from where I was sitting, but that’s what it looked like and I don’t know how to feel about it X( )

[bruceedickinson]

Maiden adventures part 1: San Bernardino aka "Maidenfest"

Wow. Yesterday was absolutely insane, in both the best and the worst ways possible, but I'll go about it in chronological order.

The day had come: I was finally going to go to a concert with my best friend. Jaidyn and I had been trying to go to one together for years; from King Diamond to Rob Zombie to Ghost, something always came up and either one or none of us could make it work, until now.

We left town around 11 and got to the venue around 1:15, I was shocked at how many people were tailgating in the parking lot but I imagine most had reserved seats or lawn general admission. There was a merch stand at the beginning of the trail up towards the gates, so I went and picked up four different designs, one of which was the venue-exclusive design for the California shows in Oakland and right there in San Bernardino, buying an additional couple shirts for friends. Walking up the trail, I was eager to meet up with Jamie/ @gedddylee and her sister, we’d been planning to hang out in line the moment we bought tickets in January and we were minutes away from doing so. After a few minutes, Jamie saw me and we totally freaked out, it's amazing when you get to meet up with online friends you've known for ages and then see a band you both love together. The wait for doors to open at 3pm seemed to take forever, venue employees always lag on opening them right at the scheduled time, but eventually, the gates were opened and we all piled into the venue, making our way to the stage… until we discovered that the pit was closed until 4pm, and we had to get entry wristbands at the entrance. Luckily, we had about 35 minutes left to do so. Setting my water down, I dragged myself back to the gates and acquired wristbands for myself, Jaidyn and her dad, then made it back to the line and waited for 4pm to come. It came faster than initially thought, and we were off! I led the way for the pack to follow me, flashing my yellow wristband to venue employees before sprinting to the right side of the stage and making it to the same exact row in the same exact position I was in the first time I saw Maiden last year, second row right in front of Janick and Steve. I couldn’t believe it! The same place twice in a row, more than 14 months apart. Could’ve been luck, could’ve been fate, but either way, we were all there and ready for the metal madness to unfold.

Exodus, Kamelot and Ghost were the opening bands; Exodus went on first, and they were incredible, I'd missed them twice over the past two years and I'm happy that they were the first thrash metal band I got to see because they're my favorite band (in that genre) of probably all time. I was right in front of the legendary Gary Holt and I'm so grateful I was able to see him because he has double guitar duties for both Exodus and Slayer, there's always a chance he's off touring with Slayer when Exodus are as well, but this was the only show Exodus has done so far this year so he was able to be there. There were a few issues with Zetro's (Steve Souza) mic during the opening song (Bonded by Blood) but luckily it was fixed by the second song. There was so much energy and it was borderline overwhelming, everyone was headbanging and throwing up the horns and I kinda wish I'd been able to headbang more but my hair's too heavy for that haha. They had Fabulous Disaster in the setlist and it was probably my favorite in the set apart from The Toxic Waltz since both songs are from my favorite album of theirs so that was pretty cool. Zetro actually pointed at me during Blacklist since there was a parting between the first and second rows and I was in plain sight. I was in shock for a few seconds afterward; it's always hard to register that you just had your existence acknowledged by a band members, let alone the lead singer of your favorite thrash metal band. They only played for 45 short minutes but it was so worth missing them twice over the years. I hope to see them again soon.

Kamelot were next and they were unfortunately plagued with the worst of the audio difficulties; there was feedback left and right but luckily my earplugs reduce the most harmful frequencies to your hearing so it didn't really bother me. They were my least favorite opener out of the three; as a whole they were okay, but they're American power metal and I prefer the European variety. They had a couple female guest singers come out for a few songs and they honestly stole the show; I cannot remember the blonde singer's name at all but she slayed my life oh my GOSH. Ghost came on about half an hour later, and you would not believe how amazing they were; I missed them twice last October and there is no better feeling than finally getting to see your third favorite band for the first time. Papa Emeritus and the Ghouls were on fire and they sounded fantastic, the Ghouls looked like they were having a blast and they really got the crowd going the most out of all the openers (they're the main openers for Iron Maiden this year and they've really won over a lot of the fans, which is amazing because Maiden fans are typically super snooty about opening acts, they just want to see Maiden), Exodus were an extremely close second. Papa was so charming and funny and lewd and it was my favorite thing, I love him so much let's be real. Fire Ghoul (lead guitarist) pointed at me and Papa waved at me and I can honestly die happy. I cannot wait to see them two more times in over two weeks. And then things started nosediving really quickly. After Ghost left the stage and their and Maiden's road crews came out to change stage sets, security was trying to divide the pit up so they could get to someone who was trying to start a fight or something, I have no idea; security were pulling a handful of crowdsurfers and bozos doped up on who knows what from the pit mostly during Exodus' set, but it was really getting more and more frequent once it came to be time for Maiden to hit the stage. Once Doctor Doctor began playing over the PA system, we were all squished together like sardines and I wound up having to put most of my weight on the First to the Barrier guy in front of me, I felt so bad for him since he was taking so much of the overall crushing and weight and was hunched over most of the time but there was honestly nothing anyone could do. I did wind up having a very clear view of the stage but I could barely enjoy it since I was just fighting to hold myself upright and trying not to die. I lost count of how many crowdsurfers/people who wanted out went over me; my neck and shoulders took a serious beating, I lost my hat twice but got it back both times, my glasses got knocked off my face constantly (I actually had makeup smudged into a lens after being knocked around particularly hard) and I had quite a few strands of hair ripped out from being crushed like a soda can against the people in front of and in back of me. I actually almost went down a couple times from trying to avoid crowdsurfers and it was honestly a miracle I managed to get myself back up again, the fact all my buttons and pins managed to stay on my battle jacket as well is probably due to black magic. It felt like I had every drunk and crackhead in the venue shoved up against me, I literally could not move on my own and I barely had the strength to hold my camera up for pictures and video as I was using whatever I had left to wrestle tall sweaty dudes off me, some of the ones I did manage to get aren't as great as I would have liked them to be since it was impossible to get a constant steady shot from being thrashed around nonstop. I was so exhausted that I only smiled a few times throughout the entire two-hour set and I wasn't even singing along most of the time, I was only mouthing the lyrics and I looked so miserable that Janick actually mouthed, "Are you okay?" to me but I think I lied and nodded that I was. There was also a pro photographer that scoped my section frequently so there might be a chance of me finding pictures of myself looking like an actual zombie lol. Luckily I was able to make it out of the venue in one piece, thanks to a very nice shirtless guy from San Diego; I'm just very sore and tired and my upper arms will be completely bruised by Independence Day. I didn’t lose my voice since I didn’t shriek very much during Maiden so that’s a plus I guess. Even though I barely remember anything of last night and the pit was the worst I have ever been in, it wasn't all bad, I do remember that the boys' performance as a whole was just as good if not better than last year’s show at The Forum; Bruce sounded the best I'd ever heard him, his scream during The Number of the Beast was on par with the one from Flight 666, which blows my mind because NotB is in the encore this tour and it was in the middle of the set for Flight 666. What a man. He made a bunch of horrible dad jokes before Children of the Damned and I could literally feel my soul leave my body when he made a Fifty Shades of Grey reference 😂 I made lots of eye contact with Steve and Janick, who may have recognized me from last year, he pointed his guitar right at me while shaking his head and smiling/laughing. I also got to see Bruce's bare stomach when he covered Janick's head with his hoodie during The Red and the Black, I unfortunately didn't get footage of that but I was pretty much yelling "GOD BLESS AMERICA" the whole time when it happened because it was toned and glorious and it cleared my skin lmfaoo Someone threw a bra at Bruce at the end of NotB and he joked how he has a collection of hats, “some of which are questionable” and I died hahaha. Bruce threw it to the floor afterward and Janick picked it up and hooked it onto his headstock and it was my fave. I almost caught a drumstick from Steve after Wasted Years but I was too far out of reach, had I been at the barrier I most certainly would’ve caught it. Maybe it’s a sign for things to come.

Overall, Maiden themselves never ever disappoint, they mean the world and beyond to me and I'm glad I did see at least some of the show, but I will definitely think twice about doing the pit at this venue or even going to see them at this venue again. I’m just grateful I have two more shows in Mansfield and Brooklyn to look forward to later this month, they’ll make up for this fiasco for sure.

[namhanman]

A Path of Passion, Excellence, & Purpose

I was a spectator during the event and not a huge fan of dirt bike racing. I was just hanging out with my friends and watching with mild interest. It became apparent very early in the race who was going to win. The leader quickly established a lead distance of about half a track and never missed a beat. The rest of the pack moved along somewhere behind him, no one stood out, except for maybe a few who were doing worse than the rest. But this One excelled. His skill for his chosen path was far above and beyond the norm. He implemented each maneuver with a grace and confidence that can only come with endless hours of practice and understanding not only for himself but for the machine, the track, his peers and the hobby itself. Nothing threw his concentration off. He stayed completely dedicated and committed to the task at hand. An attitude had been developed by him of focused harmony; he was one with what was required of him. I was blown away. It was an awesome experience to witness someone’s passion so vibrantly. Since that brief moment i have looked for excellence and now have witnessed it everywhere.

Mostly people aren’t committed to a purpose, aren’t passionate, and aren’t playing out their lives with quality. It’s maybe not that they don’t want to, they just haven’t found where or how to do it. But once in a while, out of the blue, someone appears who is, and then they’re easy to spot. For example, occasionally you find an excellent teacher. You might not see it when you first look, but when your child comes home from school bubbling with excitement and a new fire burning in a need to their eyes to attain, you know they have encountered excellence. Hopefully that fire burns off long enough for them to ignite their own passion.

This may be the plain thing about passion and excellence; it’s contagious. It spreads, igniting and firing up dormant minds and energy in a random fashion. That bike racer didn’t inspire me to master bike racing but rather to find and develop that same fire within my own heart in my own way. And I didn’t stop I felt just watching him until I could feel that fire in my own soul the way. We all hunger for this passion to ignite that we are here for a reason, that we have a purpose within ourselves because it tells us.

To be in the same room as the spirit of quality can be an experience that is intimidating. It is not easy for us to witness another’s excellence if we are overly aware of our own lack of passionate purpose. It is always easier to criticize, to try to minimize the other’s accomplishment rather than maximize our own. Our world that is western believes and creates attitudes of competitiveness and one-up-man-ship. The prize would go to the we&rsquo and winner;ve all been conditioned to want the prize. We have not been trained to look into our hearts and soul for the plain thing we feel passion for, for the thing we long to be excellent at. We have been taught to strive fervently for the sake of getting and staying on top. Passion itself has not been applauded, just the winning. In our world today success that is financial almost everything else. Unfortunately, we've been taught that prosperity and wealth come at a cost, a sacrifice of some heart piece. But no matter how close it may seem to come; money does buy happiness or n’t excellence and definitely not purpose. Achievement itself is not the same as excellence. We can achieve any goal it and stick to the plan if we determine to do so, set our minds to. Continuing excellence is soul driven and promises fulfillment.

We become aware of the power they have when we witness excellence in another. Working and living from your passion is an empowering experience and it is a potent force that is recognized by others as power. The need for energy has driven guys to madness. A lust for power can focus and channel all the force that is creative of individual towards self-destruction. Trying to take power from anything outside of our selves will cause us to implode in bitterness and grief, confusion and pain. True power can only be realized in one’s own expression of quality. When faced with quality we will feel bombarded with emotions that need to be acknowledged, accepted and released. We will wade through feelings of inferiority, of jealousy, of egotistic pride and criticism. But there is a better, easier way. When we have the opportunity to experience another’s brilliance we can allow ourselves to blissfully harmonize with their passion, feeling our own awakening. If we can learn to forgive our own shortcomings, accept ourselves as we truly are we will see that we too own a unique signature of excellence that can easily co-exist with anyone else’s.

Function can be painful, difficult and usually the plain thing we least want to do. The thing that is funny purpose is that it often doesn’t look like anything we’d expect or want. Although another may inadvertently provide you with to your purpose they can’t give it to you. They also can’t take it from you. It is had by you all for yourself. It arises out of you and compels you to be who you are. Purpose isn’t affected by anyone’s disapproval or approval. It simply is. Purpose is self-motivating; it makes you put your feet on the floor every morning and keep putting them one in front of the other all day long. This is beyond duty and responsibility. It is done by you because your soul demands it.

In fact it is our purpose that gives us life. It is purpose that propels a spark of light through the veils of consciousness to embark on another journey through physical life on this plane. Purpose has a divine quality to it because it is the heart-string that connects us to consciousness. It is that which allows us to maintain a resonant familiarity with the spirit that is divine. Our purpose is our inherent need – the thing that can’t be denied no matter what it costs us. Purpose is connected to evolution and thus to our karma. And because purpose is connected to growth it isn’t always pleasant. Every person lives to fulfill his purpose. And that’s a hard pill to swallow. Life happens on a continuum, beyond the short life cycles of one person or another. We are typical connected in some way. We know this. We want to assume that purpose is glorious and beautiful, harmonious and cherished. But it’s not always. It can be painful, ugly, revolting and despicable to our rationality and to humanity.

We are able to recognize the force of purpose at work when we see that we played a pivotal role in how a situation unfolds, this may be through conscious or effort that is unconscious. We are only purposeful in relationship. Purpose is part of the healing effect of karma. It is a dynamic charge that must be activated and released into consciousness to push start something into a possibility that is new. clash of clans hack Purpose is not lived for others alone, there is always a self-serving, self-defining aspect to it, but maybe one that we don’t understand in front mind. .

Purpose will be fulfilled, it is more of who we are than what we do, and there seems to be a force larger than our own free choice and will which determines the time and place for ones purpose to be revealed. Passion and excellence are forces that ignite invention that is creative our selves and others, building the path of life before us, opening possibility for many other people, and paving the way for purpose to unfold. People search obsessively because of their purpose; trying many hats on for size, they are usually searching for a demonstration that is profound of and climactic change. But purpose can also sneak up on you quietly, subtly, and discreetly. All we can do is observe patiently, with an heart that is open willingness to play our role when we are called, then play our role excellently with passion.