#i do NOT use them that way i just like how these ones look better. im being very genuine when i use three emojis <33< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[geneviveleocardius]

dad’s got it covered

feat. simon riley

the soft clatter of pots and pans fills the kitchen as you stir the bubbling pot of pasta sauce. the warm aroma of garlic and herbs drifts through the house, mingling with the faint sound of the tv playing in the living room. amidst it all, your toddler’s tiny voice breaks through, high-pitched and filled with excitement.

“mummy, i want the braid! the one rapunzel has!” she calls from the couch, holding a toy brush in her small hands.

you glance over your shoulder, a small smile tugging at your lips. “later, sweetheart,” you say, your voice gentle but distracted. “mummy’s making dinner right now.”

there’s a pause, and then the sound of her humming to herself, followed by the occasional soft giggle. it’s enough to make you peek out of the kitchen, curiosity getting the better of you. what you see stops you in your tracks.

simon, your husband—your hulking, stoic husband—sits on the floor behind your daughter. his large hands, so used to wielding weapons and carrying the weight of the world, now work with a surprising delicacy. he’s carefully braiding her fine hair, his expression one of focused determination. your daughter is practically glowing, a radiant grin on her face as she chatters away, oblivious to how tender the moment is.

your heart softens, warmth blooming in your chest as you lean against the doorway, watching them. simon glances up briefly, catching your eye. there’s a flicker of something in his gaze—a mixture of pride and amusement.

“you’re lucky she doesn’t want the full rapunzel treatment,” he murmurs, his deep voice laced with dry humor. “i’d need a ladder.”

you laugh softly, shaking your head. “you’re doing great, love,” you say, meaning every word.

years pass in the blink of an eye. your little girl is no longer so little, and the house feels quieter, the once-constant chaos of toddler life now replaced by the rhythm of a teenager’s world. tonight, your daughter has a party to attend. she’d asked you earlier to iron her hair, a request you’d readily agreed to.

but somewhere between the dishes and the laundry, exhaustion crept in. you’d sat down for just a moment and fallen asleep. when you wake with a start, panic surges through you. you glance at the clock, your heart sinking as you realize how much time has passed.

“oh no,” you mutter, scrambling to your feet. “her hair—”

you rush out of the room, searching for her, guilt already gnawing at you. when you find her, the sight that greets you makes you stop short.

she’s sitting in front of the vanity in her room, scrolling casually through her phone. behind her stands simon, a flat iron in one hand and a comb in the other. his movements are slow and precise as he smooths out her hair, section by section.

your daughter barely looks up from her phone, her trust in her father’s meticulousness evident. but you can see it—the care in simon’s touch, the way he handles her hair like it’s the most delicate thing in the world. his expression is the same as it was all those years ago, when he braided her hair for the first time: focused, patient, and filled with an unspoken love.

your heart melts at the sight, the guilt dissolving into something softer, sweeter. leaning against the doorway, you smile to yourself, the memory of a tiny girl and a father’s careful hands blending seamlessly with the present.

“you’re amazing, you know that?” you say softly, your voice breaking the quiet.

simon glances at you, one corner of his mouth twitching up into a faint smirk. “just don’t expect me to start charging for haircuts,” he murmurs, his voice teasing but warm.

your daughter, still focused on her phone, rolls her eyes with a groan. “dad, you’re so lame.”

you laugh quietly, your heart full to bursting. watching them, you realize some things never change—and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[jadesabbat]

Been thinking recently about the people who would look at a situation like this and argue in all earnestness that cishet feelings don't matter, who argue that giving a shit what our opressors think or feel is just respectability politics, pointless and regressive.

From a certain point of view I see where those people are coming from. After all, I full agree that respectability gets us nowhere and that those who hold oppressive ideologies - either actively or through their passive biases - must be held to account for them. But when one who has caused no harm, or even caused only minor harm, is ruthlessly mocked, diminished, and ostracized with no room at all for appeal, their pain is so often regarded as inconsequential compared to our own, childish even, oppressive to even remark upon,

White Tears

I've intuitively known for a long time now that such behavior was wrong, that those who have enacted no harm against us deserve our compassion and those who stumble but mean no harm deserve our grace, but with comparisons to racial dynamics looming high over any such discourse, I could never quite conceptualize why I believed the way I did. As with all such things, the answer seems blindingly obvious to me now that I've seen it:

Queerness is not a closed culture. By our very nature it cannot be.

When a racial minority's culture is threatened, it often has the option to curl in on itself, closing its doors, caring for its own, and rejecting outsiders who would seek to plunder and diminish it. When our own culture was threatened by police raids and mass arrests we could do similar, hiding in daylight with secret symbols and private meetups, only allowing those trusted near us, but the cost was measured in the visibility that is our lifeblood. We could never fully close ourselves off.

But why not? After all, we all see how even now corporations wave a false standard of us every june, how we are so often held up for clout, so often fetishized, and so seldom respected. We all see how petty discourse turns us against each other even as invaders feast on our fallen. Wouldn't it be better to just lock them all out, push back against all the violence and pain?

It all comes back to visibility, the gateway to even footing. All minorities struggle with being seen, represented, and respected, but what sets us apart is that visibility is the *only* way for our culture to grow. For a member of our culture to be born, one from outside must realize they are one of us and succeed in finding us. We *need* visibility, and we *need* allies.

To denigrate our allies is to close our gates, and to close our gates is to bleed ourselves dry.

So yes, those who have done us no wrong and who want to be allies *do* deserve our compassion and respect

Hot take but I really do think that some of y’all need to consider how/why/when/how often you’re making fun of straight people for being straight

I do it too, I’m not going to pretend I don’t make jokes about the hets, or the down with cis bus, or whatever

But I recently befriended a cis, straight dude and I have watched him be dismissed, degraded, and unambiguously insulted for the perceived “crime” of being straight — all in queer environments where he is allegedly “completely welcome” and surrounded by “friends”

This guy is not a toxic person! But I have seen him be made to feel so small and like his comfort and safety in those spaces are conditional on his silence and acceptance of being treated like a human dunk zone, and I think that some of y’all have had so much shit from straight/cis people that the second you feel like you’ve got an inch, you want to luxuriate in the perceived catharsis of bullying someone who— actually —doesn’t deserve it

And until he very, very carefully mentioned to me in private that it makes him feel bad, I didn’t even clock that I was involved in doing that, that it had become so instinctive for me to make casual jokes like that, and that— well meaning or otherwise —I had been contributing to an environment that made someone I really really like feel like shit

So, I dunno, I think maybe some of y’all should think about that too

[the-witty-pen-name]

The Love Triangle from Hell (1)

Steve Harrington x F!Reader / Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Synopsis: Nancy is with Jonathan; Steve is still in love with Nancy; You're in love with Steve; Eddie's in love with you; Robin just wanted to have a movie night but everyone is making it weird.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: messy messy feelings; unrequited love; cursing; arguments; crying; angst angst angsty angst; drinking; Robin literally just trying to live her life but her friends are all idiots

A/N: I'm going to let y'all decide who our reader ends up with for this one- please let me know who you think our reader should pick! I think this will be another 5 part series. Please let me know what you think! Comments and reblogs and hitting up my asks are always so so so appreciated.

This series with be 18+ in later chapters MINORS DNI

It was always Nancy. No matter what it always came back to Nancy. It happened over and over and over like a broken record. Like a glutton for punishment, you always went back for more thinking to yourself this time it’s going to be different. Squished on the lumpy loveseat with Robin, you watch Steve as he watches Nancy. You were pathetic and you knew it. Hopelessly in love with someone who’d never in a million years look at you the way he’s looking at her.

Eddie sits on the floor between your legs with his back rested against the front of the couch as you aimlessly braid his hair. You run your fingers through his hair, carefully navigating through the tangles. You pull strains and weave them together without needing to think about it- you’ve done it a million times before. Eddie would let you do whatever you wanted, he loved the feeling of your hands in his hair. He’d lean his head back as far as he could manage, and shoot you an upside down smile. It always made you giggle before you would use your palm to gently put his head back into place. 

It was quite a sight for Robin, like the most fucked daytime drama never written, if she knew how to read the room and pick up on the very obvious clues before her. Steve, her platonic soulmate and best friend, pining over his ex-girlfriend while you, her other best friend, pine over Steve and all the while Eddie, Steve’s roommate and your other best friend, pines over you. It was enough to make her sick. All the while, Nancy is completely oblivious as she checks her watch, waiting expectantly for Jonathan- her actual boyfriend- to arrive. Despite the mess before her, Robin was none the wiser. 

She knew Steve was still hung up on Nancy, because he never shut up about her during their shifts. However, you felt you kept your lovesick crush on Steve under pretty good wraps. Unfortunately, Eddie was so preoccupied with you that he felt it every time your eyes were on Steve or he’d witnessed all the small things you’d do that convinced him you actually liked Steve. 

He’d watch as you couldn’t make eye contact with Steve, looking everywhere but him when he spoke. He’d watch the way you’d steal glances at him when you thought no one else was looking. He’d see the way you’d take a deep breath to compose yourself when you’d see Steve looking at Nancy. The same way you’d break your own heart looking around for Steve, he’d be doing the same looking at you watching him. 

You’d watched one too many movies where the guy realizes the right girl all along was his best friend. You thought if you were patient, Steve would realize he’d been in love with you the whole time and he never realized it. If you’re there for him in his times of heartbreak, he’d see that you’re so much better for him than anyone else. He’d see you, really see you, and know you were the one who was always there. 

“This movie doesn’t make any sense,” Robin said suddenly before reaching for the bowl of popcorn at the coffee table.

“Anthony Michael Hall is making a robot girlfriend because he can’t get girls,” Steve explains, coming off a little perturbed that Robin was talking during the movie again. 

“They could’ve just asked out a couple of more girls- they didn’t need to let their end all be all be two girls with boyfriends,” she continues and Steve scoffs. He couldn’t believe he was really about to have a debate on realism with Robin right now over fucking Weird Science. 

“This’ll actually happen one day,” Eddie muses and is met with four heads whipping around to give him the same weird look. “You’re telling me that like fifty years from now, no one will have this figured out? AV geeks are desperate enough- Ow!” You’d hit him playfully on the back of the head. 

“You’re not one to criticize anyone for being desperate, Munson,” Steve chuckles and Eddie promptly flips him off. “You don’t exactly have them lining up for you either.”

“It’s been a pretty dry few years yourself King Steve,” Eddie mocks, and you see Steve crack his knuckles nervously, hating the conversation going down this road. No one meant for it to happen, but now you’re all wrapped up reflecting in your own loneliness that the mood of the evening was almost completely dampened. 

“Can you guys be quiet,” Nancy chastises, “Some of us are trying to actually watch the movie.”

“You cannot be serious?” Robin giggles, “It’s a stupid movie, Nance.” 

The night took a weird shift. Jonathan did eventually stroll in and Nancy was understandably hurt that he was so late. He pulled a kitchen chair over to sit next to where Nancy sat but she promptly decided to ignore him, silently stewing instead of causing a scene. Steve recoiled back into his own head- Eddie’s King Steve comment affecting him more than he thought it would. He watched Anthony Michael Hall and kept wondering if this would be his fate- no bitches. Had he really been that guy to have peaked in high school and then is destined to end up alone?

Steve’s comment towards Eddie made him also get lost in his own stream of self deprecating thoughts. He knew Steve was joking- but there was truth to it that made it sting. Eddie didn’t have a lot of experience with girls, most girls- hell including the one he was actually in love with- wanted really nothing to do with him. He wasn’t that guy. Girls didn’t look at him like that like they looked at Steve- how you looked at Steve. It made him jealous and sad and made him feel so painstakingly lonely despite being in a room full of his closest friends as you played with his hair. He could scream. 

And as usual, you preoccupied yourself with Steve- thinking about what Steve could be thinking about or watching the way Steve anxiously rubbed his palms against his jeans. Was Steve thinking about Nancy? Maybe, just maybe, you could catch him looking at you, even if just once. Maybe Steve would get up and go to the kitchen, and it could be an opening for you to check in with him since he’s seemed off tonight. You felt hopeless. 

Robin just assumed most people were quiet because they genuinely were watching the movie, but she realized something was wrong when she was the only person laughing. It couldn’t be that she was the only one who wanted to crack jokes or laugh at this godforsaken movie. She eventually caught on to something brewing in the air amongst her friends and it was incredibly unsettling. 

“GOD! I can’t take it anymore!” She exclaims, and everyone jumps. “What is wrong with everybody tonight? You all are acting so effing weird and I can’t stand it.” 

“Everyone’s fine, Robin,” you offer, trying to diffuse the tension. She shooks you a look. A “do you think I’m fucking stupid” look that could kill. Fair enough, you think to yourself. 

“Clearly something is wrong,” she reiterates. Annoyed with Nancy, Jonathan takes the bait and casts the first stone. 

“I don’t know,” Jonathan muses, looking at Nancy before letting out his irritation, “Might have to do with the fact you hang around with your ex all the time- and it’s clearly obvious he still has feelings for you.” 

Nancy gasps, offended that Jonathan would bring a fight that they’d had before into the room for everyone to comment on. Jonathan knew how Steve felt, and Nancy’s refusal to acknowledge his concerns on numerous occasions has finally made Jonathan hit his breaking point. He needed her to realize that he wasn’t jealous of Steve- but Steve was jealous of him. Nancy denied that Steve still held feelings for her. She was actually oblivious. 

“Steve and I are just friends!” Nancy insists, “I have told you that and told you that! It’s like you don’t trust me!”

“I don’t trust him!” Jonathan emphasizes. “Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, he still likes you and you still keep hanging around with him when you’re supposed to be with me, Nance.”

“I am with you! I’m your girlfriend, not his,” she snaps. “Steve, come on, please tell him he’s being ridiculous.” 

Most unfortunately, Steve stutters. He hesitates and fumbles, and couldn’t lie fast enough. The pregnant seconds where he’s at a loss for words tells Jonathan everything he needs to know. It doesn’t feel good to know he was right. 

“Sounds about right,” Jonathan scoffs.

“It’s not her fault-” Steve tried to interject. 

“Stay out of it Steve,” Jonathan sighs, “please.”

This fight was not about Steve, and everyone knew it. This was about Jonathan, and the way he hurt when Nancy dismissed his feelings. It was about how she didn’t take his concerns seriously or ever was willing to talk about it. He was sick of being dismissed as paranoid or jealous. He knew Nancy had no idea how Steve felt, but it wasn’t an excuse to inadvertently gaslight him when he knew something felt off. 

“I’m going home,” Nancy says, sitting up suddenly in hopes of making a swift exit to save her pride. 

“Nope!” Robin interjects, “We aren’t done. I’m not letting any of you leave until all of it is out in the open. I can’t go on like this. You guys are my best friends and we are working all of this shit out.” She takes a steady breath and Nancy surprisingly sits back down calmly. “So props to Jonathan for getting the ball rolling,” Robin quips, “let’s actually keep talking things out, yeah?”

“Steve?” Nancy looks at him, and she looks hurt. She feels so betrayed- like all of the times they’ve spent together as friends has been a lie. A ruse to win her back- she feels lied to and like she’s simultaneously lost a friend in the same breath. It guts her. She’s too stunned to even know what to say. 

Steve keeps his head down, too ashamed to look at anyone. He holds his head in his hands. You watch him intently, you absorb all his hurt like a sponge. You keep your gaze on him, wanting to reach out and comfort him. You look like a puppy who's been hit on the nose with a newspaper and Eddie scoffs. 

“Something you’d like to share with the class, Munson?” Robin turns, picking up on Eddie’s disgust. He shakes his head and avoids her knowing gaze. Fuck it, he thinks to himself. 

“I’m fucking pissed,” Eddie announces, standing up. The braid you were in the process of making slowly unravels as he moves. He looks to you and then to Steve. “I’m not even pissed at anyone, I’m just stewing in my own self-hatred because I’m in love with her.” Eddie points to you dramatically, not even realizing how much he’s revealing as his emotions get the best of him. “But she’s so in love with you,” Eddie points a finger at Steve, “That she doesn’t even notice me.”

“I don’t even blame anyone- of course you love Steve, you know? It just fucking sucks because I watch you and you’re always watching him and you keep hoping he’s going to see you and he never does. Meanwhile, I’m so in love with you that it physically hurts and I can never tell you because you’re my best friend and Steve is my best friend. And if you like her back, Steve, you should go for it. I can’t even put myself out there cause scenario one, I lose you,” Eddie gestures to you. “Scenario two- Steve gets his head out of his ass and you two finally get together. I lose both of you, because I can’t put myself through watching someone I’m in love with be with someone else. Or scenario three- you and I do get together and I’m all in- I swear to god, I would be all fucking in. But would you ever even love me as much as you’ve loved him? I don’t know.” 

It’s your turn to be stunned. For the first time, Steve’s looking at you and it’s not at all what you hoped it would be. You recognize the look in his eye, it’s the same way Nancy was just looking at him. Pity. You know then and there that Steve never once thought about you the way you hoped he secretly did. It was all made up in your head. Eddie looks defeated, and mortified all at the same time. He shocked himself at his outburst. He’d always been one for dramatics but never at your expense. He feels so guilt ridden that he could shrivel up and let the world swallow him whole. 

“I, uh, need to get some air,” you say. You grab your jacket from the hook and slide on your shoes in one fluid motion. “I’ll be back,” you say quickly, slamming the door behind you as you left Eddie and Steve’s apartment. You can’t help as the tears stream down your face uncontrollably. It’s one of those cries where it’s so hard you can’t even make noise as it takes all of your breath away. You’re practically doubled over in the midst of a panic attack when Eddie finds you leaning against the building. 

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he says earnestly, “That was so fucked up. I am so, so sorry. That wasn’t fair to you, that was such a shitty thing for me to say.” 

You manage to nod to let him know you heard him, but you’re blubbering and you’re still struggling to get your breath back. Hiccuped breaths finally catch up to you and you feel your lungs slowly begin to refill with air. The night’s cold air helps to clear your sinuses in one big breath. You wipe your face with the sleeves of your jacket. You can’t bring yourself to look at him just yet. 

“Steve is so lucky,” Eddie says after another few moments of silence. “To be loved by you?” He chuckles, taking a lean on the wall next to you. “Lucky bastard,” he jokes, and you manage a forced smile through the tears. “Must be the best damn thing in the whole world and he doesn’t even realize it,” he continues more seriously. “Well, until now, when I ruined everything,” he finalizes, sheepishly. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it either,” you mumble, “God, what Steve was doing to me- I was doing to you? Fuck.” 

“Fucked up, right?” he teases. “How’s it feel, heartbreaker?”

“Really, really shitty,” you settle on and he laughs. 

“Yup,” he agrees, making a pop sound at the end. “Really, really shitty. Indeed.” 

“God, I wasted so much fucking time,” you admit to yourself. 

“I didn’t mean it,” he says softly, helping fix the collar of your jacket. It was tucked in because you put it on so fast and didn’t bother to fix it. “That I wouldn’t be able to trust you with Steve or whatever if we hypothetically got together or whatever- it was just a really, really ugly insecurity that bubbled up. If after this all blows over and you don’t completely hate my guts, and maybe by some miracle you wanted to give us a chance, I wouldn’t hold your feelings for Steve over you like that.” 

“Did you mean it that I’d lose you?” you ask, looking to him. He shakes his head. 

“I was talking out of my ass,” he admits, “I was emotional and just letting my frustration get the better of me. I won’t stop being your friend if you don’t like me back.”

“I’ve been doing that already,” he jokes and you swat his arm. 

“Not funny,” you grumble, but you can’t find it in you to actually be upset. 

“I don’t want an answer from you now,” he says, shifting back to a serious tone, but you can hear how nervous he is. “But if and when you get over Steve, and you realize I’m not that bad to look at- maybe you and I could go out sometime. I’m putting the ball in your court. I just want you to be happy. If you end up with Steve, I’m your best man. You end up with me, I’ll work my hardest every damn day to make you so fucking happy. No matter what, I will be your friend. You aren’t losing me.”

“Thank you,” you smile, and you pull him into a hug. You finally start to feel okay again. You feel like you could get over Steve, but then you remember that everyone inside is waiting for you- including Steve. The anxiety begins to stir and you can’t imagine facing everyone now after all of this. 

“I got you,” Eddie whispers, taking your hand, “We’ll go back together.” 

Eddie’s held your hand a million times before, but it wasn’t until now that you realize how well your hand fits in his. You shake your head to erase the thought from your mind for now and try to relax. The walk back up to the apartment is much longer than it’s ever felt before.

No one says anything when you both come back. You and Eddie kick off your shoes and he helps you take your jacket off. You sniffle, and quickly take your seat back on the loveseat. Eddie slips into the kitchen and grabs a six pack from the fridge. He holds it up like a fish he’s just caught triumphantly. 

“I think we all need one, yeah?” He jokes and he diffuses the tension as everyone agrees in tandem. He pulls them apart from the plastic ring, tossing them out. He throws you a wink when he tosses you yours and you can’t help but smile. 

“Can I just say,” Robin says, “Had I known you all were upset about actually serious stuff- I wouldn’t have opened this can of worms. I thought you were just pissed at each other about the comments about not getting laid.”

Nancy and Jonathan must have made up while you were outside because instead of separate seats, Jonathan sat on the living room chair and Nancy was perched on his lap. Steve was just watching you. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that Nancy was there. He was fixated on looking at you. He was taking in everything about you like he was looking at you, really looking at you for the first time. 

Fuck, if you weren’t beautiful, Steve thinks. He always knew you were, but he never really thought about it until now. Even after crying, you just look so pretty. He’s pained knowing he’s caused you so much pain. He looks to Eddie and feels jealousy rise irrationally. He’s jealous of Eddie for realizing how perfect you were before he did. It’s so fucking petty and he knows it. Eddie’s had all this time to adore you, while he’s squandered it following around Nancy like a simp. He’s loved you and lost you in the same fucking night.

“Let’s keep going,” Eddie jokes, trying to make light of the situation, “Air out more grievances- Buckley, you need new shoes. Those fucking chucks are abhorrent- please, get new ones. They are why your back hurts all the time.” 

“Okay, Mr. Same White Reeboks Since Senior Year,” she taunts, feigning offense to his jab. “Keep my converse out of your mouth!”

“I have boots now,” he says, pointing to the leather boots by the door. “Much more metal.” 

“Cause it’s fucking January, Eddie,” Robin says with a laugh, “Of course you’re wearing fucking boots.”

“Yet you strolled into my house wearing Converse,” he says walking over the the floor and pointing at Robin’s worse for wear Chuck Taylors. “It was snowing this morning, Robin! Please, as your friend- please let ME get you new shoes.”

“You can pry those shoes off of me when I’m dead,” she raises her voice. The lighthearted air has returned to the evening. It felt like it had been salvaged for now. Everyone seemed to be feeling better, except Steve. As the world began to pick up again, he was paralyzed- burdened with the knowledge of your feelings for him and knowing he might be too late to do anything about it. Was it?

PART TWO

[quimichi]

≡;- ꒰ ° Sick fuck... ꒱

TW: NSFW - MDNI, name calling, slight cnc, yeah thats it???

character: Nam-gyu x F!Reader

summary: You pressed 'x' now you'll face the consequences of your actions

word count: 4.724

a/n: look, for some reason, he was my fav, idk why, idk how, its how it is ok???? I can't take myself seriously lol. I rarely write smut, I'm probably HORRIBLE at it, but we need the content for him ok??

Nam-gyu dragged you into the female bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him. You try to free yourself from his grasp, but there's no use. "Hey-! HEY-!! For fucks sake guards-! If you don't do shit, why are you even here-!" you keep yelling as he struggles to shove you into a stall.

He shoved you against the cold wall of the stall, pinning your wrists above your head with one large hand. Leaning in close, his black eyes flashed with anger and lust as he growled, "Listen up, you little cock-tease. Next time we vote, yeah? You'll press 'O", understood?" His other hand groped and squeezed your breast roughly through your shirt. "Mmm, but maybe this is what you wanted all along, huh? To get me all worked up and desperate for your tight little body?"

He crashed his lips against yours in a brutal, kiss, biting and sucking on your bottom lip hard enough to make it throb. "Strip," he commanded coldly, releasing your wrists only to start tearing your clothes off yourself. "Now! Before I rip them off and fuck you on this filthy floor." With one quick motion, you slap him across his face. "Fuck you-! I don't even fuckinh know you, so what do you want from me?! I pressed 'X', and?! We keep playing the fucking game anyway!" you shout at him. Nam-gyus eyes flashed with rage as you slapped him hard across the face. The sharp sting of your palm against his cheek made him see red. He grabbed your wrist in a vice-like grip, twisting your arm behind your back and shoving you face-first against the grimy bathroom wall. His body pressed firmly against yours, pinning you in place as he leaned down to growl menacingly in your ear.

"Listen here, you fucking slut," he snarled, his hot breath tickling your neck. "I know for a damn fact the longer we play, the more people wanna press fucking 'x'. And I wanna keep going, so after the next round, the next vote, you'll press 'o'. If you don't, I'll make sure I kill you, and not a fucking game." His rough hands immediately found their way to your tits, groping and kneading the soft flesh harshly as he grinded his hardening bulge against your ass.

"I'll fucking ruin you," Nam-gyu hissed venomously, giving your nipple a sharp twist through the thin lace of your bra. "Scream for help and see if anyone gives a shit. They all probably jerk off to ya. Now, are you going to be a good girl and do as you're told, or do I need to get rougher?" "No-!" you stutter out, "you got your point across-!" You're 90% sure you'll die in the games anyway, after seeing the first you knew you wouldn't survive. Better play along now, than suffer even further with whatever he has planned. If you're lucky, he just did all that to scare you off...at least you hoped so. Playing tough wasn't so easy....

Nam-gyus grip on your wrist loosened slightly as he sensed your submission. He kept you pinned against the wall, his hips still pressed firmly to yours as he leaned in close, his voice a low, threatening rumble.

"Damn right I got my point across, baby," he growled, his lips brushing against your ear. "As a reward, we're keeping you save next game, hm? How's that sound?" He slid a hand down to your ass, squeezing the flesh roughly as he grinded his now fully erect cock against your backside. "Now, since you've been a bad girl, I think you deserve to be punished. Lucky you! You'll get both, a reward and a punishment. Aren't I nice?"

Nam-guys other hand slid under the hem of your pants, pulling them down. "Cute, did you know this was my favorite color on you, hm?" he teased, hot breath tickling your ear as he rubbed your clit through the fabric of your panties.

"Sick fuck..." you mumble, more to yourself than for him to actually hear it. Nam-gyu smirked cruelly as he heard your mumbled insult, clearly amused by your feeble attempt at defiance. "Yeah, I'm a sick fuck, but I'm YOUR sick fuck," he taunted, punctuating his words by shoving two thick fingers knuckle-deep into your dripping cunt.

"But you aren't a healthy minded bitch either, look at how wet you are." he chuckled darkly. He pumped his fingers in and out of you roughly, curling them to rub your walls with each thrust. You try to swallow down moans and gasps, but you can't. It feels too good and for some reason...you even enjoy it. He quickly turned you around, shoving your back against the wall. His thumb found your clit and rubbed the sensitive nub hard, making your legs tremble and your pussy clench around his digits.

"Listen to this desperate cunt sucking on my fingers like they're my cock," Nam-gyu laughed mockingly. "You can't get enough, can you? Don't worry, I'm going to give this pussy exactly what it needs."

Having fun never hurt anyone, right? After all, you're a sick fuck too...

[gtgbabie0]

{Werewolf!Girlfriend!Vi who gets extra needy when a full moon is approaching}

I indeed got freaky with it again. !!-18//MDNI-!!

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Fuck the moon and its stupid ass phases. Vi hates it, the way it messes up with her hormones and emotions— her body clock all wonky. It’s a grasp that she can’t escape from no matter what she takes from those crazy quack doctors who have huddled themselves up in the nooks and crannies of Zaun, it always costs a pretty penny too. Money she didn’t have to be quite frank.

It leaves her with this dull throb at the base of her spine, an ache that slowly snakes around her body threatening to eat her whole. You're the only one who can subdue her better than those ointments and tea herbs- that honestly do more harm than good.

That’s why she’s staggering into your room through ragged breaths, using the pale moonlight that peaks through your curtains as guidance, the same taunting light that drips over your pretty face like some sort of beacon, calling her to you. Vi stumbles onto your bed— her face pressed into the soft fabric of your pillows that was absolutely drenched with the scent of you, which only fuels the fire in her.

Vi hated to wake you up, really she did, but she needed you, more than she had ever before… and okay maybe she says that every time but can you really blame her?

Either way, There’s no hesitation in how she shuffles closer to you, smushing her face into the crook of your neck with a low and desperate groan— big, rough hands pawing at your hips from above the blanket. “Please wake up baby, please, please.” Whispered from your neck until your pretty eyes are fluttering open.

The ticklish feeling of her ears twitching against your face keeps you from slipping back into dreamland, that and the way her hands had now disappeared beneath the covers to touch you— bandaged palms exploring the soft curves and dips of your body, slipping under your sleep shirt.

“Vi?— what time is it?” You huff groggily, turning your head to the side to try and look at your clock through bleary. She cups your jaw, turning your head back to her with a small, sheepish smile.“Don’t worry bout that,” her tone is draped in a heady whine of pure need.

Your brain was foggy and the situation wasn’t quite hitting you yet— you just kinda stare up at her in confusion. She lets out a low groan when you don’t immediately start giving her the attention she so clearly wants. Dropping her body on top of yours, looking down at you with glossy blue eyes— plump lips pursed out in a small pout as a whimper builds up in the back of her throat. “Do something, anything, please.” She sniffles, letting her head fall against your chest. “Need you.”

“What do you need hmm, puppy?” Oh god, ‘puppy?’… now you were just being mean weren’t you?

Her ears pin back, tail thwipping against your shin as she presses her face back into your neck— nosing at your jaw, inhaling you deeply. “Mmf, you. Your hands… can you, please?” She’s almost incoherent, drunk on desperation.

A shiver runs down her body, prickling at her skin as you drag your fingertips through her hair, gently scratching against her scalp and behind her ears that twitch against your palm happily. You’re hitting all the sensitive spots, the spots that draw pitiful sounds from her lips— oh the way she whines your name, nudging her head into your hand.

“Hngg, right there— there.” She huffs, breaths coming out in sharp, ragged pants when you hit that spot— the one that has her melting into your body, a dead weight draped over you, with her cheek smushed against your chest.

Vi, not so subtly, shifts her hips against your own— trying to grind against you all clumsily as you continue to pet over her head and ears. Then her fingers are curling around the waistband of your shorts, “Vi?… what’re you—” your hand stops as she fists the flimsy fabric, tugging them off with a huff.

“M’sorry baby… sorry, I just— I can smell you, s’not fair.” she pleads, taking a fistful of your thighs and pushing them down against the mattress— sharp canines on show as her hungry eyes drink in the sight of you, spread out, wet cunt glistening all for her. “Oh, ffffuck— pretty girl. S'all mine, yeah?” The words are drawled out in a groan.

“Mhm, yours Vi.” you agree, caving in as she presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth as if that'll make up for waking you up at this ungodly hour. You're positive you won't care in a couple of minutes.

Vi nips at the curve of your jaw as she crawls over you to grind her cunt onto yours. The fabric of her boxers are slick with a mixture of her and you— she’s completely lost in the feeling of your clits rubbing together, the way she can feel the throb of your pussy through her underwear and the breathy sounds you're making, it was so dizzying. The hot feeling of desperation so tightly coiled around her that she didn’t care about anything else except for her release, rutting against your cunt carelessly to chase after what she needed.

“Oh, Vi— mfm, take it easy puppy.” You gasp, hands grasping at her hips in a pointless attempt to slow her down— her movements borderline erratic.

She shakes her head, shoving her face into the crook of your neck with a broken cry of pleasure as she continues to rock her clothed cunt against yours, hands pawing at your thighs. “Can’t— I can’t, fuck— I can’t. I’m sorry, ahh!” She pants into the underside of your jaw, words muffled hotly into your skin as her orgasm washes over her, hips stuttering against yours before she goes boneless over the top of you in relief.

“S’okay pup… you’re okay—” you coo, slightly breathless, as you reach to pet the back of her head weakly. Vi doesn’t even give you a minute to catch your breath before she’s pushing herself back, shuffling her boxers off to reveal that damn trail of dark red hair before climbing back over you with a wolfish grin, whispering a lazy, “You’re so good to me pretty girl.” — and oh god, you were in for a long night.

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[isa-ghost]

I fully agree with this (/genuine). And I do wish people would stop using it because of the historical-and-still-current context behind the phrase.

But I am curious about what OP's opinion is about a take I see a lot in defense of using the phrase as a quirky (perhaps even cringe) positive phrase. I've seen loads of people say "well over time words/phrases/images can get a new context behind them that overwrites (but doesn't erase) the previous bad one. It takes power away from the people who use [thing] in a derogatory way." Basically the same kinda logic we use when reclaiming slurs, I guess? Maybe that's too extreme of a comparison though, I dunno. Another example I thought of is how Tupperware is (was?) a company, but we call *all* plastic containers similar to that Tupperware, which completely diminished the company's sway over product competition since it became a blanket term. I'm probably oversimplifying that a bit but it was another interesting educational post I read on here ages ago. I tried looking for it on my blog but the only thing that came up was the post about how they went bankrupt.

Anyway, to an extent I agree with the idea of "new positive context," but like with basically everything, I think there's nuance to it. I think there are times where changing the context behind something simply doesn't work and/or shouldn't be the route people go down, period. And of course there are instances where people abuse the idea and use it as justification for shit they shouldn't. Same kinda deal as "death to the author."

But also the internet (and perhaps younger queers in general in this case?) has a terrible habit of completely disregarding important context or at the very least not acknowledging/respecting said context to the degree they should, if they do so at all. And I'm as sick of that as plenty of other people are.

So I guess that is to say I can see both sides of the argument and am curious to hear if OP (or anyone else) has some additional info that I lack? If there's things about this I can be taught beyond "hey this is an ongoing issue, stop enabling the people who seek to use it to harm us by using it like it's something cute and quirky," I'd really like to learn what those points may be. Especially because then I could take those myself and further spread the word by educating people just like OP.

I think once upon a time I was actually a "we can reclaim this with a new positive context and take the power away from the people who use it to do harm" person myself but then I came across posts like this one and actually put some real thought into the topic and changed my mind? (I say that with uncertainty because I don't actually remember ever explicitly agreeing with takes in favor of the positive context use). Which is another reason I'd appreciate further discussion about why this is a case where "new positive context" shouldn't be the way people go about it. The stronger the argument for it, the better or whatever, right?

Also I'd like to provide a precautionary clarification that I'm asking OP/anyone else here if they have additional insight instead of "googling around" or something myself because I personally tend not to trust stuff like that since misinformation is so rampant, especially with how common the use of ai-generated bullshit is. It's also, in my opinion, better to hear things directly from people you Know for certain are from [group] or have experience with [thing]. I digress.

i fear the battle is lost at this point but i still flinch every time i see "gay panic" used as a cute positive phrase. Like let's go on say wikipedia.org for a second and try typing that one in folks

edit: i caved and looked in the notes and my god you people are stupid. Stop talking about this like it's ancient history. The gay/trans panic defense is quite literally still legal in the majority of the US. Look at this map since you apparently don't have wikipedia or like any kind of search engine on your computers

[lavenders388]

HII!!

could we please get some kang dae ho x reader??

something where he’s a bit of his usual himbo self and the reader is maybe a bit airheaded— something about two people being in love with one another while the world around them is burning is amazing.

~Flowers in December~

<3 Kang Dae Ho x Reader

requested 💌

authors note: i am amazed by the amount of requests and also so flattered!! I am so happy to get back into writing not only for myself but to be able to make other people happy to see their ideas come to life!! i apologize if this has some flaws i cant wait to get more practice in and promise the next will be better!! feedback is always appreciated! thank you all so much!!<3 -matcha

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...

~takes place during the second night~

"we should all take turns keeping watch over the group" player 456 urged as the warning for lights out echoed throughout the room, the rest of the group silently agreeing- trusting the man who claimed to have been in one of the previous games, leaving as the sole survivor. you were, as were many others, reluctant to believe that he had done all of this before, but after his help in the first game and joining his team for the second, you grew to trust him; and the other members of your group. the man that had been assigned your partner for keeping watch was coincidentally a member you were drawn to specifically- at first because he was close to your age, his boyish face making you feel a little less scared and alone in the second game, and eventually you appreciated his outward personality and kindhearted confidence, a stark contrast to the situation you both were in. as you sat together, although trying to protect your group from whatever could happen in the dark room, you felt even safer. "how in the world did you pull that off?" you broke the silence with a whisper, referring to him playing gonggi in the previous game. "my hands were shaking so badly i could barely even hold my ddakji." he laughs, a bit louder than he should have given the people sleeping, but it made you smile. "i told you all i played with my sisters!" he chuckles. "you said you know how to do it yeah," you retorted, stifling a giggle at him being unaware of the compliment. "you didn't tell us you were amazing at it, that was a surprise." he turns away, embarrassed of how deeply your compliment made him grin and scared you'd see him blushing even in the dark. "thank you y/n." he says bashfully as he regains his composure. the silence returns; the reality of where you're both having this conversation threatening to creep back in. his gaze softens as he turns to you again, "you did really well with your ddakji you know, doing it the first try is really impressive, especially given the circumstances." you smile, a toothy grin as not only are you proud of yourself but you appreciate the compliment; especially from him. the kind, authentic way he states how good you did has you unable to find a response. "t-thank you" you say, blushing and still smiling. "it helped that nobody was there, i get nervous when people are watching me." his demeanor changes. he nervously runs his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry if i made you nervous, y/n" he says sincerely. your confusion shows on your face until you realize what he means. "oh no don't worry! i meant the crowd, like how everybody was cheering for the other teams! i didn't want them all to see if i messed up. you watching me helped actually. it made me less nervous." the silence returns; comfortingly. you've forgotten where you are, you've forgotten what would have happened if you'd messed up, all that's on your mind is the man sitting next to you. when you look back he's staring at you. smiling. "thank you for being on my team." you say to him as he turns away, trying to hide how long he was looking at you. you've never seen him speechless before. "if we work together nothing can stand in our way." he said to you just as he said to jung bae before the game. "i am truly honored you feel that way." you half-joke. "what are your plans for tomorrow?" you ask as if youre speaking to him in a normal situation. "oh wait im sorry!" you laugh. "well i bet they're the same as mine then!" you joke about your forgetfulness as well as making light of where you find yourself. like hes done for you, he also had forgotten the events of the day and what followed tomorrow. the two of you talking made him feel as though he was living a good, normal day. it was greatly appreciated by him, your bubbly nature being a moment of solace.

a/n if this is buns at all please lmk what i can do better!!! ⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

[vaguely-concerned]

imagining that while rook is gone, about a week and a half or so in, there's one night where lucanis suddenly appears unannounced in illario's room in the way he has of doing that and which could scare anyone else to death on its own, but of all people in the world illario is the most inclined to only find it mildly annoying to look up from his bad boy Brooding and also facemask-equivalent beauty routine (can't be tragically denied even being doomed by the narrative if you ain't cute) to find his cousin -- now first talon of the crows at least in name -- suddenly staring at him intently and expressionlessly from a few meters away. and when illario (half-jokingly, half-seriously, all-yearningly because crows live bad) is like 'ah so is this finally it are you here to kill me' even with no vengeful purple glow in evidence lucanis just snorts scathingly to show all the seriousness with which he still takes that idea and illario has to wistfully be like 'no, I thought not. so to what do I owe the honour, then, first talon. I figured you'd be pretty busy out there by now'.

and lucanis doesn't say anything at all, just stands there silently for a while and then sits down in a corner of the room with his back against the wall and buries his face in his hands. you have to understand how crucial it is for my vision here that they Do Not talk about it. they never talk about it, not in that moment and not later. illario doesn't have the first idea what 'it' could even be, once he's asked 'is it -- caterina? did something happen to...' (feeling suddenly and absurdly as much like a little boy again as lucanis just had before covering his face) and gotten the slightest headshake in response, nothing else he tries to ask even gets a reaction.

everything is all fucked up and nothing is ever going to be like it used to and the fact that this is where lucanis thought to go about whatever has happened to make his eyes look like that is ludicrous on so many levels and in so many ways. but I do think illario eventually sighs and at least sits down on the floor next to him, leaving a bigger distance between them than he might have once both in self-defense and out of something like consideration. 'I'd ask if you'd like to talk about it, but of course I know you. you never do'. (even with everything else that has happened, illario still knows lucanis better than almost anyone in the world. few things could have convinced him that maybe it really is his cousin in there still quite like this prolonged and complete lack of communication lol.) in the silence they fail to keep each other company in the same way they have for years, but maybe they can at least be honest about it now.

and then when lucanis gets to his feet like this entire very strange silent last half hour never happened to brush dust from his clothes and say he has to go... what can illario really do but go 'sure. great talk, as always. happy to be of service' from the floor as he watches his cousin disappear again into the night. I imagine illario wearing some sort of opulent bath robe or something through this whole thing by the way I think that's an important detail to get in there

[chokingonchairs]

Tutorial on how to edit graphics! (Or improve your edits! + tips!) Part 1..

Well firstly, if you’re entirely new to editing or a beginner. Then editing can seem very confusing and tricky, especially the intense psd, cluttered kind of edits, mine are also very cluttered but I think the best way to go as far as being a beginner is to figure out what style you want to do.. minimalistic? Cluttered? Eye strain? Gif/animated? I personally don’t do very many animated graphics and I also don’t do eye strain, so.. you’re on your own for that but it’s important to know what ur GOAL is. You need to know the basics of editing before doing anything else.

The editing apps I recommend are photopea and ibisPaint X, both are free. I really don’t recommend any paid apps other than ibispaint.. yes there’s ibispaint x then ibispaint. (The paid version has everything in it and is a one-time purchase, and has the same mechanics as the free version. If you are editing on pc or laptop, there is a version of ibispaint on desktop but you are only able to use it for 1 hour, if you are most comfortable with ibispaint then you can just delete it and re-download it. But if you don’t want to do that (you can use photopea!) I don’t use photopea so this will be a tutorial using only ibispaint! I can probably find a moot of mine that uses it LOL

So as far as resources go.. they’re everywhere.. I know @/lavendergalactic, @/llocket and @bydollita have a lot of good resources. (I didn’t fully mention the other two because well.. they’re not my moots so I felt awkward LOL) I can probably post some of my most used ones on a separate side blog like I did with my last account so.. also tell me if ur interested in that.

But for the basics of your resources: you want the character or person. An image then a transparent cut-out of them, a frame and/or pfp/image mask to use, and some decorative PNGs like bows, curtains, hearts, whatever you’d like. I can link some good resource rentries too!

Once you have all of that: find a reference/inspo, if you are taking HEAVY inspiration off of someone from tumblr or whatever, PLEASE check if they are okay with it, message or send them an ask in their inbox if it’s okay.. or they might have it somewhere on their pinned post if they allow it.

And now.. the question ur probably asking.. how do I do all of that?!

I had quickly made this. You can see the main components. The character cut-out, the inner image behind the frame, the decor, and the silly texts and textures behind the graphic to make it pop.

If you want ur graphics to be this cohesive there’s a few things to note. You need to know colours look best together, what style of editing looks best with certain art styles, and characters.

If you’re wondering “why does this character look so out of place?” Or just finding yourself in a rut with certain characters, you need to examine the character, like you can’t make a goth style graphic with a happy and cheery character like emu otori (depending on the card you choose) or like paimon from Genshin impact.. like that’s just gonna look SILLY. So take note of what this character looks like and what their original colour palette is. Are they a happy person? Are they emo and depressed? What colours do you usually see this person in?

Having range in your editing style will help you a lot, so branch out and edit different characters, and use different colours, and aesthetics!

Now for colours, you need to understand colour theory which quite frankly.. I am not about to teach out so probably at the end of this post I will have some videos linked for you to look at and watch that just overall will help you understand better how to edit that includes a video about colour theory!

If you are an editor and find yourself not being able to edit a certain style or can’t fulfill someone’s request for a certain aesthetic.. don’t be afraid to decline because a lot of the times you’ll have people who know nothing about what looks good with ur editing style or what aesthetics fit certain characters so it’s okay to decline stupid people… (/j.. they’re not stupid but ykw I mean..)

Using the stroke filter on ibispaint or photopea, aswell as the glow filter on ibispaint make ur edits look VERY good! (I use it on everything because it gives everything a little bit of separation yk? So you can see the different layers to the graphic!

Using textures over top of your graphics make it look very visually appealing aswell!

So as I mentioned I will link some videos, and I will also link some posts for good textures, and then add some photos for downloadable fonts to use on ibispaint (if you don’t know how to download fonts on ibispaint I can make a tutorial too! If you are also confused on how to use ibispaint they have a built-in tutorial, and it’s also best to learn as you go, look at all of the filters, the effects, the built-in images/materials)

Please for the love of god.. DONT over-do it with ur overlays and psds, unless that’s the style you like, don’t do it.. me personally.. I don’t like it but if you like it then go right ahead but over-usage of overlays and colourings make it look kinda bad 😭 and kind of confusing to look at, please make sure you can see the different components of your graphics and what is what.. if it’s too confusing to look at, chances are you’re less likely to have people like it or enjoy it. And don’t over-do it with fonts either… people need to be able to see whatever ur trying to say.. I wear glasses and people who over-do stupid fonts piss me off.. I literally block them, so keep that in mind aswell 🫶🏻

Photopea tutorial How to use a pfp/icon mask Colour theory If you needed a visual for how to make graphics here you go Some textures and overlays How to make a rentry How to use borders on rentries How to make blinkies

Some tags for reach: @frilliette @blinkndgone @hellhoundsdoth0wl @smilepilled @nomkiwi

[silence-ofthe-llamas]

More Mech Au-Au!

Swindle-orientated chapter, with sprinkles of TexAid.

Swindle smiled at everyone.

He smiled at those he was happy with, he smiled at those who had pissed him off, he smiled at those he was making deals with, the list was endless.

The only time he didn’t smile was when he was on his own. The door would click closed behind him, the lock automatically engaging, and the facade would slide from his face.

This all had to be worth it. It had to. He’d risked so much already, he was gambling at stakes he couldn’t pay. Failure would mean death, death for all five of them, and as such, failure was unacceptable.

He’d promised Onslaught.

Vortex was a source of pride for him - a prototype mech who had survived against all odds, plumping up his resume handsomely. The only surviving AI from that round and the round that came after - against all odds, Vortex had persisted. He hadn’t self destructed like his own cohort had, he hadn’t lost his sense of reality, he didn’t completely lose himself. He remained exactly who he was, for better or for worse. The discussions of destroying him once he’d begun to show his more aggressive tendencies were terrifying, sending Swindle scrambling for ways to extract Vortex from the mech. They didn’t get this far just to be treated like they were disposable. Had they forgotten that they were real people they’d trapped within the metal? What did it matter that they were slated to die anyway? That didn’t mean they could just be destroyed when they became inconvenient, there was supposed to be a due process. They were owed that much.

Swindle hung up his hat and ran his hand through his hair. Fuck. They’d gotten so lucky with that boy – Felix, right? That was his name, and Swindle has a vague recollection of his name meaning luck. Good for them that he lived up to it – they were lucky that he was persistent and determined, lucky that Vortex seemed to like him. His teammate liked to play with his food, and it seemed he was settling in to give First Aid a good long chew. Which was good! It meant Vortex was unknowingly buying himself some more time whilst he looked for ways to extract him and put him in something else. Anything else would do at this point - shit, he could be his toaster and burn his toast for eternity. At least he’d still be alive and he wouldn’t be left alone again.

Shit. How depressing. How did this become their only option?

Swindle kicked off his shoes, neatly placing them away onto the rack, and shrugged off his jacket

“I want to make them burn in hell.”

He’d done it because he had to. He took no pleasure in what happened to his team after he gave the wrong people the right intel - but it was this, or they’d all be dead. Like, dead-in-the-ground-dead. Skullfucked by maggots dead. Not on ice, not in giant suits of armour with guns and swords bigger than buildings, dead. Dead and forgotten, and it would be all five of them. Nobody alive to fight in their corner, nobody to keep them as safe as they could, nobody to do what needed to be done.

The screams didn’t haunt him like they used to. While they were still alive, skulking around the research centre with tags and monitors and cables and cameras on them at all times, people did terrible things to them. Trepan was the most frightening. He was enraptured with the idea of creating super soldiers. That’s what they’d tried at first - they’d needed warm, fresh, and living bodies - and who would notice if a mercenary group went missing? Everyone would just assume that they had died, and that would be that. They wouldn’t even look for their corpses.

Vortex had been the most difficult one for them to deal with. He was rude, unruly, and dished back what he was given. At one point they’d had to strap him down Hannibal style just to give him his injections - after they’d removed his prosthetic arm when he’d slashed through the restraints and three researchers with the hidden blade, he’d taken to biting down hard enough to rip chunks of flesh from the researchers instead. Vortex would laugh through the blood that dripped down his chin, but he’d always ended up screaming.

Brawl was freakishly quiet. He would press his palms to his temples, his eyes dull and face gaunt. Swindle would never admit how it made his insides churn, how guilt had ravaged him into sleepless nights. They all screamed, they all cried through the agony of it, but it was the worst when they were quiet. His team wasn’t meant to be quiet. They were always doing something, saying something. Vortex was always pissing off Blast Off, winding him up like a younger sibling did to an older one. Brawl was always playing music far too loud in his headphones. Onslaught was much quieter, but he was his own kind of orchestra of sound. A gun being cleaned, turning pages, the squeak of leather.

They weren’t in the research facility. They were shadows of themselves.

Onslaught had always given Swindle his looks though. No blame. No fault given. Thankful. They’d made a promise, after all. They’d agreed that this was what they would do, how it would happen. Anything that gave them longer to figure out what the fuck they were going to do.

The experiments were a failure. All it gave them were broken men. But that only gave them perfectly usable test subjects for something else, for another failing project.

Trepan had asked Swindle personally who he would volunteer as their first test subject. Who did he think had the best chance of success? Who did he think would make the best immortal warrior?

The cockroach, he’d replied. Vortex was fucking impossible to kill. He’d seen him getting himself blown up multiple times. He’d had to pay to fix his face, he’d had to pay to fix his spine, he’d had to pay for that damn prosthetic and every single hospital stay to stitch him back together. And not once had the man been touched by death. If a nuclear bomb were to fall on them, he was convinced Vortex would emerge unscathed and demanding a cigarette.

He was also extremely resistant to control. He despised being told what to do. Onslaught was an exception because he had actually made an effort to build a rapport with him, it was a relationship built on mutual respect and understanding. And Trepan? Every single scientist in this building? Vortex would rend them to dust and ash if they even entertained the thought of controlling him.

It was a hopeful moment, a glimpse into an optimistic future. Vortex would lose his humanity, but they would all regain their freedom.

But good things didn’t favour terrible men.

Fuck, he wanted a cigarette.

The photoshoot with Blurr was overrunning. It was already eleven o’clock at night - they’d been at this since 10 in the morning, working hard to get their perfect shots. The photogenic mechanics (paid actors). The intelligent engineers (more paid actors). The trustworthy medics (yet more paid actors). Their only non-actor was Blurr, but even then he was just their show dog. He wasn’t actually a pilot, not in the traditional sense. He wasn’t deployed, he was paraded.

Blurr would want to talk after, to natter away about something or other, to get a drink together and maybe a bite to eat, but Swindle just wanted to go to bed. He was tired. Exhausted. Going into his teammates lockers to grab a photograph had just dug up old memories from where he’d buried them, and he’d woken up with Vortex’s screams in his native tongue ringing in his ears, unable to get back to sleep. He could still hear it between the sounds of the camera shutter.

First Aid seemed to be a nice enough kid. He got on well with others, he did his job without complaint, and he was efficient. He didn’t dally around when he was to clamber into Vortex, he was quick and to the point - and, Swindle noticed with growing curiosity, he studiously avoided touching his controls.

If only the pilots were smart enough to pick up on that. Shame, really. It was starting to get real expensive to keep this quiet.

So it was with quiet horror that he watched as First Aid was trapped within the cockpit, the medic accompanying him collapsing to the floor as blood spurted up the glass from where his leg used to be.

He found himself hissing through his teeth. Don’t do anything stupid, Tex!

When First Aid stumbled out looking like his first pilot he’d ever had did, Swindle felt a grim mood take over him. How hard was it to fucking behave? To not do something so unbelievably stupid? To not get himself killed? Apparently it was too much for Vortex to fucking control himself.

But First Aid had been okay. The next day he was as chipper and chirpy as ever with full recollection of the previous day. He’d thought it was funny.

And that’s when Swindle knew that the boy was their chance. If he could survive Vortex, if Vortex was allowing him to live, then they had to seize the opportunity they could.

Nobody listened. Nobody fucking listened. They were repatriating children in biohazard bags, not even a hand left intact for their loved ones to hold as they said goodbye, and they weren’t listening to him.

They needed Felix Anwyl in that mech. Now. He was sick of watching lambs being offered up for sacrifice. Vortex was a malicious bastard but even he would get bored of it all eventually - and from where Swindle was standing, he saw a much better chance of getting their brothers online if Vortex settled down and stopped acting like he was possessed by the devil.

Seeing Felix sprinting towards Vortex in a pilots suit that didn’t fit him, Swindle discretely cleared the way. He distracted the officers with him, had them avert their eyes for a second to let him pass. He redirected people, he gave distractions, he delayed who he could to buy First Aid much needed time to get to the mech before that cadet took a single step inside. Vortex would kill them for the intrusion, he’d explicitly had enough of it and was demanding what was his. His words in the morning memos were enough.

Swindle was out of options. He needed to get First Aid into that mech before they stamped the paperwork to render the supposed AI obsolete and for the scrap heap.

He didn’t have a toaster ready for him yet.

Prowl had looked thunderous on the catwalk. So had Pharma. He had to fight to keep his grin at bay - he had to press his hand to his lips to hide it when Vortex began yelling ‘mine’ through the walkie talkie.

Oh, he really liked this one.

Pharma had kicked up the biggest fuss. He didn’t want to lose his precious medic.

Swindle checked his file. First Aid hadn’t been on any major medical assignments since the previous year, and there was no record of why. No particular displeasures, no signs of any faults or major errors, any need to retrain, or competencies lapsing and requiring reassessment. Pharma had just decided to force First Aid away from his job in some bizarre, inexplicable act.

He’d grabbed him by the collar and hissed into his ear that the blood was on his hands. That if he wanted to keep First Aid, then he could be the one to clear the mech out, that he would be the one to write to the families and explain what had happened.

Pharma had opened his mouth and begun to say something about a punishment, but Swindle placed his finger to his lips and shook his head.

“It’s not on his record.” He reminded him, tapping the file. “Do you want to incriminate yourself? Right here?”

And so he’d received the stamp of approval that evening. The ink was still wet as he shook Pharmas hand, the man holding his too tightly.

First Aid seemed to like Vortex too.

Pilots didn’t usually go and hang out with their mechs. They liked to be near them – apparently there was something about the connection that had them bond in such a way that they liked to be close to them, that they’d feel drawn towards them, but First Aid’s seemed to be almost excessive. At every free opportunity, he was there. If you couldn’t find him, the advice was to check Vortex – he’d probably be in the cockpit reading a book or listening to music, or he’d be elbow deep cleaning out the joints from the gunk the clean up crew didn’t manage to get. If it was a meal time and he wasn’t in his room or in the cafeteria, he was with Vortex.

His secondary role on base was still, technically, a medic – but Pharma had made it clear that he wasn’t welcome back in the medical bay. He’d made his bed, so to speak – if he wanted to be a pilot, then he’d be one, but it was at the sacrifice of his oath to medicine, so he wasn’t allowed to perform it. He was left to spin his wheels, to attend training sessions when they could run them for him (it was an open secret that he wasn’t a pilot, but a secret it was) and scratch his arse until the alarm went off and he was marked for deployment.

Swindle didn’t know that Pharma could hold such a grudge. He’d made a mental note to never piss him off.

A few times, when Swindle couldn’t sleep and was on a walk, he’d seen First Aid slipping into Vortex. He’d raised his brows at that.

Swindle didn’t know how Vortex hadn’t squished him yet.

Vortex fell back into the Shatterdome, rain thundering down on his armour sounding like the roar of a passing train. Sparks erupted from the gaping hole where his shoulder used to be, two of his back blades torn free and the remaining hanging on by rapidly breaking cables. The mech fell to its knees, catching itself on its remaining arm, its visor flashing a single message over and over.

OBJECTIVE ONE: PROTECT THE PILOT.

For the first time, Vortex had obeyed the objective embedded into each of their mechs. Protect the pilot. More than that, he’d brought him straight back to them.

Swindle watched him in quiet awe.

Wow. He really liked this one.

When the radio had cut out in a roar of static, Swindle had half expected Vortex to stay out on the front and continue his slaughter like he usually did when his pilot died, but instead he watched as the red dot that symbolised Vortex on the screen instead turned around and began sprinting back to the Shatterdome, ignoring all of the targets around him, ignoring when a quintesson got a good hit on him, barrelling past the other deployed mechs. Mission Control received multiple communications from the other pilots out in the field, confused calls from the crews of the helicopters monitoring from above - Vortex wasn’t responding. Vortex was moving entirely independently - his pilot was unresponsive and his life signal was so weak it could easily have been the electricity from the cables exposed to the elements being detected instead.

His walkie talkie crackled as Vortex looked directly at the large room Mission Control sat in overlooking the hangar. A voice he hadn’t heard in years ground out.

“He dies, everyone dies.”

Swindle swallowed hard, and nodded.

“Tex?” The voice was weak and unrecognisable. Swindle realised it must have been Felix. He was alive and conscious enough to speak - Swindle was already waving off people trying to get permission to do things, motioning for them to just get fucking on with it.

“Get that pilot out!” He hissed at them.

“It’s going to be okay.” Vortex promised. Swindle didn’t know his voice could get so soft.

“Stay put, Tex. Don’t move a muscle and unlock your emergency escape, the medics are here.” Swindle spoke into the walkie talkie. He received a few weird looks from those around him, but he ignored them. He’d field their curiosities later - for now, he had to focus on keeping Felix alive and figuring out how they were going to safely contain Vortex.

Fuck. He wished Onslaught had been activated. He’d know what to do. For a brief moment he wished their positions were reversed. He’d have handled all this shit so much better. Swindle would never tell him or ever admit it, but Onslaught was always the brains of the unit, he always had a plan. He’d probably have had all of them activated by now, brought the whole team back together again.

He chewed his bottom lip until it bled, the taste of copper stinging on his tongue.

The medic had to live. He had to. There was no protecting Vortex if he went on a murder spree - they could just about justify the pilots being pulverised inside of him, the difference between the cost to spec up and build and test a mech that was his equal vs the cost to train a new pilot was extraordinary. Vortex could, in theory, chew through a few hundred more pilots before they’d start to wonder if they should have just built a new mech. But to destroy a whole base?

Yeah. No. It would be significantly more difficult to justify it as a misidentified ‘protect the pilot’ protocol. Sure, he could argue that the base failed to save his pilot, but how would the mech know? Why did the mech identify the Shatterdome as a target? Clearly it was faulty, glitched, and needed to go.

Vortex was not one to be reasoned with. Swindle knew that all too well. There wasn’t going to be the opportunity to talk him down from his decision.

They succeeded, or they failed. That was it. One or the other. Felix survived, or everyone died.

God, he prayed that Felix was as much of a cockroach as Vortex was.

[hwnglx]

pick a pile - your ideal type vs. your future spouse

hi dear reader! i thought of an idea where i could look into how you guys' ideal types compare to your future lovers. note that this is a general reading, so not everything will resonate with everyone! breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. remember to take what resonates, and let the rest flow. 𓆩♡𓆪

⋆˚࿔ pile 1 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

your ideal type

in your romantic partners, you're looking for a best friend.

someone you can cheerfully celebrate the highs in your life with. a person who will be able to bring you a sense of joy and happiness in life.

it's likely you want someone who's like your good luck charm. they brighten up your life in the most pleasant ways, and are able to provide you with the feeling of positivity and bliss.

you know when these special people enter your life, and all of a sudden everything becomes more enjoyable. because of their presence in your life, things are fun again.

you want someone who will be a source of inspiration, and support for you. a person who can uplift and motivate you in the most rewarding manner.

i keep getting this feeling, you'd want your person to be someone who has this profound impact, where just talking to them can ease your mind and light up your day.

you'd want to have a lover whose voice brings you comfort, whose encouraging words become your source of confidence, whose presence gives you the feeling of enjoying to be alive.

i can sense you seeking to find this comfortable feeling of home in your lovers. someone whose warmth can make you feel safe, and secure.

i believe you're a person who's very introspective, someone who's constantly on this journey of self-discovery.

therefore you'd like a partner who will be supportive, and accompany you on that journey; someone who will be your companion in life, and help you understand yourself better.

you'd like an individual who will help you heal, grow, discover and proudly embrace your best, most confident self. someone whose positive energy is contagious and helps you thrive.

you want your lover to be reliable and resilient. someone you can lean on with no second thoughts. who will be there for you no matter what. a person who will take you with everything that you come with, and still remain loyal and devoted to you.

a person who, although they're passionate, knows how to control their temper, won't be discouraged by tough times, and remain committed and persevering, regardless of struggles you might go through together. you want your lover to be a like a rock in your life.

you do want someone who is fiery, powerful, charismatic, self-assured, knows what they want. you're likely to be drawn to people who have fire energy; a strong presence. people who are aware of their worth, and whose attendance can't be missed once they step into a room. but you don't want your partner to be too full of themselves, overbearing, or too intense.

you want them to be mature, trustworthy and responsible. a person you can build a stable, comfortable and secure, but also playful and joyous relationship with.

your future spouse

so, one aspect which you'll probably like to hear; your fs is likely to be quite mature, possibly older than you in age.

they're pretty powerful, disciplined and steady. the first impression they have on people, is likely to be quite strong.

they aren't a person who's overly emotional at first glance, and moreso carry themselves in an emotionally reserved and controlled manner.

your fs for sure has strong leadership qualities to them. they're good at commanding attention and demanding respect from the people around them. it's the type of energy that makes everyone in the room shut up, once they speak up. to note, they could also be quite stubborn, and opinionated at times.

another significant aspect though, is that they're immensely supportive and generous towards their loved ones.

this is a person who's likely to have a heart that is much more compassionate than what meets the eye. someone who, although they aren't always immensely expressive when it comes to their feelings, has a true heart for people in need.

your future lover is someone who's giving and generous. i can see their love languages leaning towards the acts of service and giving gifts side.

this person has a strong sense of justice, they're likely to be very fairminded. they don't like disharmony, and will be there to help out the underdog if they feel like they're being treated in an unjust manner.

i can see this person surprising people with how nice they can actually be, because they usually seem so serious, more stern and intimidating on the outside.

this is also a person, who values harmony and stability in their relationships, especially in their family-life. a person who fosters an atmosphere, that's secure and comfortable. i can sense them possibly being closely tied to their families.

if you get to know this person in a deeper manner, you'll take note of how they exude warmth, and a vibe that's very inviting and comforting, when they're around the people they love. someone vibrant who can easily be the center of attention.

it's kinda giving the family's favorite son (note; their energy is quite masculine) who everyone runs to greet, once they enter the room. a popular, charming and well-liked person whose energy can light the atmosphere up in a lively manner.

what's interesting, is that i did get the four of wands for both your ideal type, and your future spouse.

so, it's highly likely for them to be able to fulfill this wish you have, of finding a person who not only makes you feel comfortable and at ease, but also genuinely happy. like you've finally arrived at home once you're in their arms.

⋆˚࿔ pile 2 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

your ideal type

you're giving me wise, mindful and cautious energy. it does seem like you are someone who prefers testing the waters before jumping into relationships.

you're likely to collect information on people first, before fully giving in.. as in getting to know them thoroughly. by doing that, you're trying to get a good understanding of their character, and whether you can see them being a valuable addition to your life.

there's this observant energy to you, where you can take note of the smallest details in people. you probably like it when others are also able to compliment you on the small things not everyone would notice, like e.g. the perfume you're wearing that day.

you value mental compatibility. you want a person who's smart, fun, quick-witted, clever. someone you can have interesting, thought-provoking and intriguing conversations with. discussions that range from complex and profound ones that make you reflect, to playful ones that make you laugh.

you like honesty, and transparency. you don't want someone who will beat around the bush, walk on eggshells, or give you any mixed and confusing signals. you desire a trustworthy person who can be straightforward, and open with you.

a big focus here, is on expansion and transformation.

you'd like a person who will help you explore, as well as expand. especially mind-wise, by talking about subjects that make you introspect.

i don't think you mind your lover being very different to you, whether that's culturally, ethnically, language-wise or opinion-wise. on the contrary, you seem to believe that views, beliefs or mindsets that are different to yours to a degree, can have significant impact on your life, and help you evolve, which is why you're likely to welcome it.

there just needs to be compatibility when it comes to the path you're aiming to go down in the future. in your eyes, there does need to be a certain alignment in values, objectives and intentions, in order for the connection to work out.

you want a partner whose existence, rather than becoming a presence that distracts you from the important things in life, will help you be more self-aware.

you want someone who can help you transform and thrive into your best self. a presence that finally makes things seem clearer, and helps you feel whole, happy, warm and complete.

it's this feeling of “being with this person feels right. this is who i'm supposed to be with. their presence is healthy for me and my journey. instead of sidetracking me from my life-path, this is a person who will be supportive of me, and willingly hold my hand while i'm trying to heal from the past and understand what's right for my own life.”

again, i don't see you rushing into your relationships.

you're someone who looks at healthy connections developing in a slow pace, but steadily.

you want a person who will be patient, conscious and consistent in the effort they invest into the maintaining the security of the relationship, and taking things step by step.

some of you might've gone through some negative experiences in regards to relationships; not just romantic ones, but human connections in general. this might've caused you to become more wary and careful about how to proceed.

at this point, you've become adamant on making sure you don't let anyone into your life, who will bring any unwanted and unwelcomed negativity, that only drags you down.

a lot of focus on true happiness and fulfillment here too. you desire a person who can enrich and brighten your life, and keep your spirits high. someone who brings you a sense of joy.

you want to make sure you're with someone mature, righteous and self-aware, who makes healthy choices in life, is sure of what they want, and doesn't play games.

what it boils down to, is you liking someone who takes the relationship as seriously as you do.

this pile is giving scorpio/virgo/gemini/mercury energy

your future spouse

so first of all, i can see your future spouse being air-dominant. they're definitely big thinkers; someone who mostly functions with their mind, and bases a lot of their decisions on logic and rationality, instead of their emotions.

this is a person who's likely to match your desire for intellectual stimulation. they're funny and clever, very witty. likely to usually be quite blunt, and at times a little playfully snarky in the way they express themselves.

this pile definitely gave me the biggest “bickering” vibes. i feel like both you and your fs, are people who showcase their affection by teasing and provoking. it's giving this couple who bickers over trivial and little things. to others it might look like you're arguing all the time, but for you, it's the way you express fondness towards each other.

this person has such a continuously running and active mind, that they can be prone to overthinking and at times, diving into some problems way too deeply.

this is someone who's quite charismatic and attractive, i feel like they're physically good-looking. luscious hair, nice skin. perhaps more tan. great and blinding smile. good figure as well, they might be athletic, or at least look that way.

this person seems to have been through some impactful break-ups or separations before, which have messed their confidence up to a degree and transformed them. there were certain things they needed to let go of, and move on from.

one insight i keep getting, is your fs being someone who's much more dedicated, devoted and loyal to their romantic partners, than one would think at first impression.

i kept getting so many swords, but i couldn't shake this feeling there's a different side to them deep down. it just moreso seems buried down right now; i don't see it having many opportunities to come out, since i believe they're on more of an independent streak right now. and focused on healing before getting into another commitment.

so when i asked if they're out for longterm and committed relationships, i got the king of pentacles. this card represents a masculine and solid person who's stable, reliable, patient, faithful. they might not be the most extravagant and lovey dovey affectionate partner out there, but their devotion lies deep.

it's quite likely for their venus to be in an earth sign, perhaps taurus, or fall into the seventh house.

they do have a strong sense of responsibility, and are more self-aware than one would imagine. this person might come off differently, than they actually are deep inside. many people might misjudge or misunderstand them.

the type of person who everyone would look at as a player, when they're not. they might have a fire rising, actually. their energy kinda reminds me of jimin from bts, who's a libra sun and mercury, gemini moon, and sagittarius rising.

your fs isn't someone who just recklessly acts on a whim with no consideration for others and blindly lives according to their selfish instincts; but a person who does reflect about the impact their actions have on people, and can easily feel guilty for saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.

again, there is something which gives them this harsh honesty in their communication. it's likely they aren't good at sugarcoating or attuning their words to anyone's emotions, so they might unintentionally rub some people wrong at times.

they're probably not very emotional themselves, so they could have trouble empathising with overly emotional individuals.

they mostly try to rationalize their feelings, because it can just.. get too overwhelming. your fs can have issues truly understanding what's going on inside of them.

they also give me the vibe of someone who might have the tendency to care a little too much about what people think, and get overly attached to people's opinions of them, though they probably wouldn't really like admitting this.

because of this, they're likely to moreso deal with their inner insecurities on their own, and putting on a “happier” facade than what actually goes on inside.

your future lover definitely seems like a person who's out for marriage. it's likely that it's one of their main objectives when it comes to their love life. finally finding a person they can make that everlasting promise to, and swear their eternal love to.

both, your fs and you, seem to be on journeys of healing past wounds right now. you have the potential to offer each other a lot of understanding and acceptance, since you do seem to share certain similarities, which can make for a deep bond.

just a gentle encouragement for you to not lose sight of your track and keep standing strong and tall, on your own two feet.

i feel that the universe is lying out the path for you two to meet, when divine timing deems you as ready.

note for this pile: i literally had a dream last night about a guy who matches the energy i got here so so well, and they were very charming and craaazy handsome.. they were speaking on the phone about something while laughing and sitting on a couch lol this is for sure someone talkative

⋆˚࿔ pile 3 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

your ideal type

worthy to note that this pile immediately, even before reading, gave me water energy.

i also kept feeling like i have my head in the clouds and am in a daze, i couldn't concentrate and focus as well while reading. a lot of you might have strong water placements, or significant neptune aspects. perhaps neptune in the first house?

i also got a lot of pentacles here, so you might feel yourself being drawn to earth placements. (thought of jay from enhypen who's a taurus stellium with a taurus venus and cancer moon, could see his energy matching you guys well)

anyhow, what you're looking for, is a partner who's fully focused on only you. someone who's gonna make you their world.. spoil you with thoughtful gifts, shower you with attention, turn you into the center of their universe.

you might even enjoy some possessiveness, and like the thought of your lover becoming jealous and territorial of you. you like the type of person who protectively keeps you at their side at all times, e.g. doesn't let go of your hand in public. you desire this feeling of security; like you're in the safest hands.

you want someone who will help you realize your true worth. a person who will strengthen your self-esteem.

you know this thing when you're dating someone, and there's this feeling of.. “wow, how does this person love me so much? guess i really must be something special”

you want someone to love you in such wonderful and profound ways, that it makes you become more aware of your value. someone whose perspective on you, makes you adjust yours as well. someone who looks at you as beautiful, which makes you feel beautiful.

you like people who are willing to fight for you. someone who's courageous, and not afraid of arguing or getting their hands dirty for you. you desire a lover who will place themselves in front of you in order to protect you fiercely. it is kinda giving this k-drama boyfriend who beats up other men once someone looks into the direction of their girl, lmao.

you're likely to enjoy the thought of having an older and more mature partner. perhaps someone taller than you in height, and broader than you in their build as well.

you want someone emotionally intelligent, who's empathetic. a person who's a calming and gentle listener. a lover who's more in control of their emotions and can therefore be a reliable figure in your life, that you can comfortably lean on.

you're a person who enjoys daydreaming, idealizing, fantasizing. it's likely you've already pictured and imagined what you'd want your perfect partner to be like several times and enjoy dreaming of your romantic 🥰✨ love story.

another insight i got, is that you're probably someone who enjoys the idea of taking pictures of your lovers, or getting your picture taken. making precious memories, taking these cute “pov” boyfriend/girlfriend material photos of each other, and both of you making it your lockscreen. sweet little signs of affection like that are likely to melt your heart.

you probably enjoy the thought of walking through the streets of beautiful and idyllic places together, maybe paris or tokyo with all the cherry blossoms, and feeling like you're on cloud nine together with your lover. i got reminded of how hyunjin and felix from skz used to walk around paris together with their cameras in their hands, and take pretty pictures of each other, like this.

you likely just love gently descending into this dream, of how lovely it could be if only you could spend enjoyable days like this together with your prince or princess charming.

the current transit of venus in pisces is definitely heightening this pile's energy

one thing i will say though, is that i do believe you wouldn't want your partner to completely sacrifice and drop everything for you. you'd like to have a lover who's good at juggling multiple priorities. someone who has good time management skills, and knows how to take care of several different areas of their lives. though of course, you'd like to be a big priority, and have them all to yourself once you're able to with them. you desire an endlessly devoted person, who will absolutely reserve a special time of the day for you two only.

i can see you liking your lover's love language to be physical touch, giving gifts and quality time. you probably love the idea of getting these dazzling and fancy gifts, like couple rings.

your future spouse

this person is very well put-together. they definitely carry themselves in quite a self-satisfied manner. likely to even give off a slightly arrogant vibe to people. a little bit like a person who sees themselves as very important and special.

your future lover is likely to be someone who's pretty good at handling heartbreaks. they have a lot of inner strength and resilience. contrary to what it might seem like, i don't think this person has always had the perfect and flawless life full of sunshine and rainbows; they've just developed thick skin over time. they're quite immune to pain now, because they've been able to grow and transform from their heartache.

people on the outside are likely to see them as someone who always has their shit together, and is very blessed. but again, that's just because your fs is good at dealing with their problems in a graceful manner. they aren't the type to make their inner struggles very obvious.

they also seem like a person who's pretty perfectionistic, which is a quiet but heavy burden they might carry on their back a lot.

feeling this constant need to display themselves in the best light only, not being sure if they can ever live up to anyone's expectations. they're likely to be quite hard on themselves.

the type of person to obsessively check every picture that was taken of them, out of worry they came out looking bad.

they are giving me “golden child” energy. i keep thinking of family somehow. they might feel a lot of pressure from their families, or their closer environment, to be perfect.

however, they also do give me slightly spoiled energy here. they might've grown up in a very protected environment, and have therefore been more shielded from certain “real world” problems the “normal” person has to deal with.

they could either come from a privileged family, be in a privileged position, perhaps through fame or wealth, or have grown up with overly protective and smothering parents. some of them could also just be spoiled only children.

this is likely to have led to them being rather inexperienced in some areas in life. i don't seem them as very narrow-minded though, on the contrary; they do seem curious and interested, as well as open and eager to exploring new things.

this is likely to be a person who isn't from your typical circle. there's a high likelihood for them to be a foreigner. you could either meet them online, like a dating app or social media, or while you're on a trip overseas of some sort.

very central theme for you two; being immensely interested in getting to know each other, considering you're so different.

it's this thing when you meet someone from a completely different background or with a very different lifestyle to yours, and naturally get curious about a variety of different things.

it can get quite fascinating, i can especially see your fs getting excited to hear about your everyday-stories. there is a childlike innocence to them. like this cute and youthful glow in their eyes when they're listening to something that intrigues them.

they're someone who's quite excitable and energetic, especially when they get to do fun and adventurous activities.

very likely for this person to have strong fire placements. i'm getting a sagittarius or aries moon or mars, perhaps.

the two of you are likely to hit it off quite fast, the chemistry is amazing. though i don't see the energy being romantic right away, there's this vibe of you two just clicking very well. beautiful harmony between you and your fs.

you could text a lot, or regularly meet up at café's together.

i also get this snowy and cozy fall and winter atmosphere with warm coffee vibes for some reason. this could be a significant factor for some of you. you're welcome to take whatever resonates with you personally, and leave the rest.

meeting up with this person is likely to uplift you in a beautiful way. this warm, cozy and fuzzy feeling i'm getting, is likely to relate to how you guys will feel when around your fs as well. it will be so comfortable, the conversation will flow naturally.

the existence of this person is likely to make you feel renewed. life will just seem brighter, more beautiful and pleasant.

you could feel this inner contentment, that makes many of your problems seem less dramatic, now that you have this special source of light by your side.

your fs is likely to find the same warmth in you guys as well.

the sun in the end is such a beautiful way to end the spread; think of how the sun makes you feel. warm, comfortable. it's also very vital in energy and healthy for you. that's how the dynamic between you and your fs is likely to play out.

thank you for reading ᰔᩚ i'd love to hear you guys' feedback on what resonated for you, don't shy away from my ask box! it's open and welcome for everyone

[stayevildarling]

Agatha Harkness x Reader- Secrets of Want

A/N: couldn‘t help myself when I saw Kathryn looking like an absolute queen at the golden globes🤍

Prompt: While Agatha is out one afternoon, you go to her basement and look at her magical items. Turns out there is one that intrigues you more than either of you would have expected.

tw/tags: nsfw, established relationship, female reader, soft top Agatha, kinda inexperienced shy reader, mommy kink, choking kink, enchanted strap, hair pulling, breeding, slight manipulation

word count: 3.8k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 , @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay, @laavaagirl

The afternoon sun illuminates your shared apartment with golden and red tones as you make your way through each room. Your girlfriend had left for some errands a little while ago and you tried everything to distract yourself, making sure to clean up and tidy, do the laundry and prepare dinner for tonight but you couldn‘t help the growing boredom, making you wish you would have accompanied Aggie now. As you pass through the hallway, the door to your girlfriends basement is slightly ajar and curiosity gets the better of you as you peak your head inside, seeing some faint lights and making your way down, assuming the brunette wasn‘t going to be home for another few hours.

This hadn‘t been the first time you are in her basement, her safe space where she works on her magic regularly. She had shown you everything once before, always wanting to include you as you had always been curious about her powers. You see some crystals on the table, countless plants and little vials with what you assume to be potions. Your fingers ghost over her bookshelfs, remembering she had told you not to touch those before as some are filled with dangerous magic. As you walk further down her workbench, your eyes linger on a drawer slightly ajar and something gets the better of you as you peak inside.

Your heart stops in your throat as you see the item, looking very much like a strap on, dark purple and several notes underneath it, incarnations by the looks of it. Your cheeks begin glowing red as your mind trails off, wondering why she would have this, what use it could be in combination with her magic. The two of you had taken things slow since you both started dating. Of course you had been intimate with each other but due to your shyness and the slight inexperience, you both kept things slow and gentle, never having talked about toys before or how to use them.

When you hear a faint noise upstairs, you slam it shut, sprinting upstairs before keeping the door exactly like it had been. You are just in time for the front door to unlock, Aggie stepping inside with several bags and kicking her shoes off before closing the door. With a smile you offer to take her bags as she smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead. „Hi sweet girl, what have you been up to?“ she asks as you unpack the grocery bags with shaking hands, trying to hide your nerves about the discovery you had made. „Not much“ you mumble before she chuckles „Liar“ which causes your eyes to widen as you glance at her. „Look at the place, everything is so clean“ she praises which causes you to sigh in relief inaudibly.

The two of you begin unpacking together, filling the fridge with the things she had bought as well as stocking up some bathroom shelves. Your girlfriend‘s hands linger on you whenever you brush past her and you can‘t help but tense, the discovery still vivid in your mind. By the time you prepare dinner the brunette disappeared to her basment for a while, checking on some of her potions before returning quietly, sneaking her arms around you as she hugs you from behind. You jump, flinching at the sudden sensation, almost dropping the spoon you are using to stir the food. Her eyebrows furrow at your reaction before she whispers „Sorry baby, didn‘t mean to startle you“. You remain quiet before forcing a chuckle „It‘s okay Aggie“‘you reassure.

By the time the two of you are having dinner together, her eyes burn holes into you as your gaze is fixed on your plate, mind continuously trailing off, wondering why Agatha had the strap in her basement, whether she had been wanting to do it or whether she has used it in the past before, suddenly growing extremely insecure. And your girlfriend can tell, knowing you are often quiet and in your own little world but something wasn‘t right since she returned home and she could tell. Her eyebrows furrow in concern as she reaches for your hand, causing you to meet her eyes.

Her thumb brushes gently over your knuckles as her concerned gaze locks onto yours. „Sweetheart“ she begins softly, voice laced with worry. „What‘s going on? you‘ve been so quiet since I got home“. Her tone is warm, patient but is makes your chest tighten either way. You bite your lip, unsure how to respond, mind racing back to the discovery and guilt consuming you. „I“ you start but your voice betrays you as you look down unable to meet her eyes. „It‘s nothing Aggie, I‘m fine really“ you try but the brunette tilts her head slightly, brows knitting together. „That doesn‘t sound very convincing darling, talk to me“ she encourages as she moves her chair closer, her presence calming and yet making the anxiety in your chest grow.

You shake your head, pulling your hand back as your eyes sting with tears „I‘m sorry“ you whisper, voice barely above a whisper. „Sorry?“ Agatha questions, confusion flickering across her face as she reaches out again, fingers warm as they rest on your arm. „Whatever for my love?“ she asks. Your chest heaves with a shaky breath and as you finally look at her again, tears brim in your eyes. „I.. was bored earlier and went into your basement“ you admit, voice breaking slightly. „I didn‘t mean to snoop, the door was open and I was just curious but I shouldn‘t have looked I‘m sorry“. Agatha blinks the confusion away as her expression softens, understanding filling her features.

„Oh sweet girl“ she coos, voice filled with affection „Is that‘s whats been eating you up?“ she asks as you nod but bite your lip. „I saw… I saw something in the drawer“ you admit, cheeks burning red with embarrassment. „I shouldn‘t have touched it. I know you told me not to mess with things but I couldn‘t help it“ you admit. Her lips curl into a knowing smile as her thumbs brush over your cheeks, seeing the tears threatening to spill over. „Hey hey, look at me“ she ushers „I‘m not mad at you sweetheart, I don‘t care that you went down there. Besides I‘ve never been good at keeping you away from things you are curious about“ she smiles, causing you to giggle.

There is silence for a moment before you speak again „But.. that thing I found.. why do you have it?“ you ask and her eyes widen for a brief moment before a mischievous smile tugs at her lips. „Ah.. the strap?“ she murmurs, causing your cheeks to glow red. „So you found that drawer, huh?“. You nod again, not daring to look at her right now as you didn‘t mean to invade her privacy, curious nevertheless. „That thing you found sweetheart? it‘s enchanted.. I‘ve been working on it for you, actually“ she admits, causing your eyes to meet hers again. „For me?“ you ask a bit dumfounded as she nods, her thumb brushing over your hand again.

She nods, her smile softening „I wanted to wait until you are ready to talk about something lile that. It‘s not just an ordinary toy, sweet girl. It‘s designed to connect us both in ways you can‘t begin to imagine- emotionally, physically and magically. But I didn‘t want to push you into anything until you are comfortable darling“ she explains calmly.

The tone of her voice and the honesty in her eyes makes your throat tighten. „I see, I‘m sorry for going through your things, I should have waited“ you admit, causing for her eyes to soften as she pulls you into her arms. „Don‘t worry about it sweet girl, I could never stay mad at you“ she chuckles as you hold onto her, snuggling in the crook of her neck, the familiar scent causing your heart to feel warm as she kisses your cheek. „I love you sweet girl“ she whispers before you smile „I love you too Aggie“. The two of you remain in the warmth of each other before she pulls away a little „Now how about we finish this delicious meal you made? Wouldn‘t want it going to waste“ she smiles which causes you to nod and turn your attention back on your food.

A few days pass and you can‘t help but think about her words, the dark purple item and how much you had been thinking about it. She intrigued you and you found yourself googling, doing some research as you hadn‘t experimented with toys before, not alone and not with Agatha. But there was something in the way she had been treating you since the beginning of your relationship, so patient, so kind despite her sarcastic and sometimes dark demenour that makes you feel even more drawn to her over the next few days. You had made up your mind that morning, seeing her so sleepy and adorable as she held you, preparing yourself with a long bath and choosing the appropriate lingerie. As the two of you sit together after dinner, watching some TV your eyes can‘t help but travel to your girlfriend, her rings, her shirt and the lilac collar.

„Aggie?“ you whisper which causes her attention to shift from the tv to you. „Yes sweet girl?“ she asks and you nudge closer before meeting her eyes. „Can I have a cuddle?“ you murmur which causes her to chuckle before she opens her arms for you. Instead though, you crawl onto her lap, facing her as you craddle her, the sudden motion causing her to look at you in surprise. Your eyes meet hers before you kiss her, soft, gentle and tentative as she melts into you. „Aggie I‘m ready“ you whisper into her ear which causes her surprised and confused eyes to meet your own. „Are you sure?“ she asks in surprise before you nod, a reassuring smile on your face. „Wait in bed for me sweet darling“ she coos before she kisses you one more time, fiercer this time before you walk away, letting her retrieve the item from her basement.

As you wait with anticipation, your breathing hitches as you undress yourself, having bought some new lingerie in her favorite colour, hoping it would please your girlfriend. Carefully you undress yourself, making sure not too make too much noise as you lay on the bed in the purple bra and panties. Aggie walks into the room moments later, strap and harness in her hand as her eyes trail to you, smirk raising on her lips as she closes the door. „Wow“ she murmurs as she approaches, seeing your abandoned clothes on the floor and her eyes trailing down your body. „When did you get these?“ she asks surprised and your shy gaze meets hers as you admit you had bought them when she was out the other day. „You look breathtaking babygirl“ she coos as she abandons the item on the floor, crawling on top of you as her face hovers above yours.

„Are you sure you are ready for this? I‘m happy to wait for as long as you need“ she offers but you nod, almost impatiently as you want nothing more to experience than what she had talked about. „Okay sweetie, it may hurt a little“ she admits and you nod, having read about that bit too. „Um Aggie?“ you whisper which causes her to look at you „Can you tell me how this works?“ you ask carefully as she nods. „So“ she begins as she captures your lips in a fierce kiss. „Whenever you are ready I‘m going to put this on my hips and then it‘s up to you what you wanna do. I can wear it for a bit“ she explains as her mouth travels to your chest, moving your bra aside as she captures your nipple in her mouth. „You can get on your knees and suck it“ she whispers as she lets go off it with a pop. „I can make you feel good baby“ she explains before carrying on „The enchanment lets me feel everything too.. so the experience is- very authentic“ she teases.

You listen to her words carefully, eyes locked onto hers as her mouth travels down your body, leaving hot kisses and gentle marks. Now usually Agatha wasn‘t this sweet and gentle with you, the two of you having experimented quiet a bit but considering this was your first time, considering how your hands trembled and breathing hitched but your eyes betraying how much you wanted this, she can‘t help herself. „Aggie please“ you whine as her hand travels to the waistband of your underwear, slowly pushing it aside as she collects your wetness on her fingers. „God sweetie you are soaked“ she gasps in surprise, never having felt you this wet before.

„I want it Aggie, I‘m ready“ you whisper as you close your eyes, feeling her fingers rubbing circles on your clit and teasing your entrance. She can‘t help but chuckle at your desperation, slowly leaving you with a kiss before she gets off the bed and puts the harness around her hips, making sure everything is in place and the enchantments ready for you. The sight takes your breath away, watching as she removes every single piece of clothing, leaving her butt naked with nothing other than the purple strap tugged neatly between her waist. Something within you takes over as you get off the bed, getting on your knees as your eyes meet hers, her pupils blown at your actions. With slow and gentle movements you wrap your hands around it, of course not being oblivious as to how this works. As soon as your hand touches her she leaves out a gasp, the feeling much better than she could have anticipated, sending shockwaves of pleasure through her body.

„Sweetie just like that“ she coos and before she can ask the question, you do what she told you earlier, opening your mouth as you suck the tip gently before taking some of her length into your mouth, sucking gently. Tears of bliss brim in her eyes as she sees you so obedient, on your knees for her sucking her off. „You‘re such a good girl“ she murmurs as her hands find your hair, slowly pushing you into her more as you supress the need to gag. Her taste is intoxicating and you tremble under the intensity of it all. Before too long, Agatha picks you up, putting you into her steady arms, causing you to gasp in surprise as she lowers you onto the bed. The older woman gets on her knees, capturing your lips into a more heated kiss as her tongue enters your mouth, tasting herself on you as she moans into you.

„Please Aggie“ you whimper again, body trembling with need for your girlfriend. „So desperate darling“ she teases before she sits up on her knees again, aligning herself careful with your entrance as she had pulled your panties off a while ago during your making out. Her eyes find yours, checking for any sign of hesitation but when she finds none, simply pure desperation and want, she leans down, her strap teasing your entrance as she whispers „If this gets too much you tell me. I don‘t care okay? you tell me. I just care about making you comfortable“ she says, her tone firm as she wants to make sure you understand her words. You nod before she stops you, her hands tugging under your chin „Words sweetie“ and you quickly mumble a „Yes I promise“ before she smiles.

The older woman doesn‘t waste anymore time, hands balancing on your knees as she gently pushes the tip in, causing your eyes to close and your hands to grip the sheets. Just like she said the sensation feels a little painful at first but with how slow she is fucking you, you quickly adjust before the pure bliss takes over. Your eyes rip open as you lock eyes with her, hands gripping the sheets to the point your knuckles turning white as gutteral moans escape you, ones that you can‘t even hold in. She takes note of course, adjusting her pace as she begins sinking into you deeper, her eyes closing, moaning herself as she stretches you so well, feeling your walls pulsing around her cock.

„Aggie“ you cry out, the sensation taking over you as you see the lilac smoke in the air from the spells, feeling the magic tickle across your body and spread into every fiber of your being. Your chest heaves with pleasure and as Agatha collapses onto you, still deep inside you, her hips moving the perfect rhythm, something takes over you. Hungry lips clashing against her own as you your tongues dance together, the two of you taken over by the pure bliss of it all as your hips move together, pushing your hips forward to meet her. The room is filled with sloppy noises from your soaking pussy meeting her cock. „Oh god“ you cry out, tears of bliss streaming down your cheeks as Agatha‘s fingers gently wipe them.

„Are you“ she begins but stops herself when a gutteral moan escapes her „Doing okay swee- sweet girl“ she moans out of breath as you nod, the witch able to see that words aren‘t going to manage to escape you right now. „Aggie I need more“ you whine, feeling the pure bliss take over. She leans back, pulling out of you for only a second before turning you on your back, face hitting the pillow as you lift your ass to meet her. She goes on her knees again, the new angle letting her hit into you even harder and she is beyond surprised at how well you are taking her, the shy side suddenly completely gone as this was so much more than vanilla.

Her pupils are blown as she feels your walls pulsing even more, your juices beginning to leak down her cock. With a last effort her free hand wraps around your throat, moving your head forward to capture your neck in a kiss. She takes your hair, pulling at it as she fucks you at a ruthless pace from behind. „Mommy“ you whimper, barely above a whisper as your entire body is on fire, feeling her magic flowing through you, the strap hitting you so perfectly and her moans only bringing you closer. „Aggie I‘m“ you can‘t even finish before she whispers „Cum for mommy“ leaving no room for arguments as your head pushes further back, her hand tightly pulling your hair as screams errupt in the bedroom. Her name flows from you so naturally and the last waves of magic flow through your body.

The orgasm feels like drugs to you, Agatha pulling out just in time and covering your ass in her cum, the two of you panting messes as the ability to breathe leaves you for a while. By the time she collapses next to you, she sees how tense you are, head completely red before she quickly wipes your sweat and tears „Breathe sweetie“ she instructs and as her hand finds it‘s way to your chest, you remember to do just that, ragged breathing leaving your mouth. „That was“ she begins but you interrupt her „Amazing“. She snuggles closer to you, holding you in her arms for a while as you both come down from this. By the time she begins fiddling with the harness your hands find hers, stopping her movements.

Her eyebrows raise in surprise as you shake your head a little, a questioning pout on your face „My sweet girl wants to go again?“ she teases, usually the two of you keeping things slow and gentle, never doing more than one or two gos when being intimate. She watches in awe as you balance on your knees, adjusting her strap as you climb onto her and the imagine of seeing you on top, watching as you allign her dick with your soaked pussy, climbing on top and beginning to ride her, she‘s in complete bliss and awe. Your tits bounce as your hands grip hers, tight as you enter her fully again, riding her so perfectly almost as if the strap had taken away your shyness and every ounce of holding back you had shown before.

„God baby- you‘re so damn hot“ she mumbles as she holds your hips in place, moving into you at the perfect pace and causing that familiar feeling back in your bodies. The two of you can feel everything together, the magic flowing through your veins, stomachs tightening as the familiar urge to burst returns. „Mommy“ you moan, eyes closed and there is something about how she is having you right now that makes your girlfriend love you even more, having waited to get this side out of you as she knew it was there somewhere. The two of you only manage to keep the pace for bare seconds before you are both close, moans and screams errupting in the bedroom as all you can hear is the sound of skin slapping and your combined wetness.

„Aggie?“ you whine, opening your eyes to meet hers „Yes sweetie?“ she struggles through her ragged breathing as you whisper „Can you cum inside me please?“. Her puplis blow even more, hands travelling up your chest and finding your throat as she gently squeezes. „Oh god“ she rolls her eyes back, unable to believe this. „Do you want mommy to fill you up my angel?“ she manages to coo and you nod frantically before she picks up the pace, pushing your hips up and down her cock and before you know it, your orgasms wash over you and you feel her hot cum inside you. Neither of you think about moving, eventually you collapsing onto her chest but staying inside as she captures your lips in a kiss.

„I love you Aggie“ you whisper as you both catch your breathing and her smile returns quickly, proud and loving as she moves the sweat covered hair from your forehead. „I love you so much sweet girl“ she coos before you find each other‘s lips again, the same hunger and desperation. And if one thing was for sure, neither of you wanted this to stop and as Aggie begins moving slowly again you almost feel like cumming again. And the two of you knew this was going to be a long night, the woman having left her door and the drawer ajar for a purpose of course and she couldn‘t be more prouder of you for tonight. And you couldn‘t get enough, the taste of her, the feel and filling you with her cum like an addiction, intoxicating you and driving you crazy, crazy for your Aggie.

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

The Salesman | SFW alphabet + being obsess with his wife

Can be read as part of this

Template credit

Warnings: Parts with Suggestive things - Obsess!Salesman - Wife!Reader - Possessive!Salesman - Grammar mistakes -

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

The Salesman its not someone who usually shows affection or gets said feeling towards anyone. In fact for most years he thought he was unable to feel such a thing.

But then you came into his life and shattered that thought. He ended stalking you around Seoul, getting to know you before he did a first approach. He called it fazynation at first, but when he finally got to know you for real he fell hard for you.

His ways of showing affection are quality time together, since he has some complicated hours at work he looks out for things you two can do together. Avoids the places where he usually goes.

Words, he loves calling you cute nicknames and telling you how well you did something. No matter what it was he makes a big deal out of it.

Contact, if he could take you everywhere with him, he would. He needs to have you by his side, being able to touch you its a must. He needs one kiss from you for his day to be good.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Most likely you two would be friends if you two used to work for the Organization and shared the same twisted dark mind set back then.

Like that he is a chaotic one, he does not like breaking the rules, in fact he lives by them. But would push your limits both inside the island and outside.

If you two worked as recruiters then you two would have friendly competitions on who can get more peopel into the games and bet on them once the games starts.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

YES. He is a big softie for his wife. After a long day of seeing the kind of peopel he hates the most he comes home needing you. 

Will drag you to either the bed or the expensive couch the saw you seeing one time and got it for you, cause why not? The best for his wife.

Will hug you from behind, let his head fall on your shoulder and whisper how much he loves you and how happy he is with you.

If you two lay down then he would like to have you pressed against his chest, facing him so he can give you small kisses or being the small spoon so he can hug you against him and act as a shiled from the world.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

THIS MAN SAW YOU AND WAS ALTERADY PLANNING THE WEEDING.

He is actually good at both. He likes to keep his home clean and prefers food that he made himself. However he cant compare his coking skills with yours. After the first time he tried your food he was unable to make himself food again. Why ? Because yours its just better!! And dont ask him to eat fast food, he hates it.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Oh sweet you, he would NEVER break up with you.

If for some reason you start to act strange and distant yourself from him he will gashlight you and blame you, manipulating the situation on his favor so you would feel bad for even think about it.

No. He needs you like his lungs needs air, he cant and wont ever let you go. He would destroy your personal life first so you would have no one to reach for.

You are his light and muse, he wont let you go.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

FAST. As I said he saw you and he was planning the weeding.

Even if he wants to get married fast he would work himself to be seen as a proper future husband. If you have friends then he would act as a gentlemen and even make them jealous of you. Your family would love him to no end, and would joke about when the weeding will be.

Your mom/dad may beg you to marry him since he is a good man and wants the best for you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

SFW: SOFTIE. Loves to hold you close, smell your perfume and have your hands around him. It helps him ground himself down when he is too stressed.

Emotionally he is complicated, for you he is a open book at least with his feelings of devotion towards you. He is very vocal by how much he cares for you and how happy you make it. When it comes to personal matters, mostly his work he prefers to keep you in the dark about it. He does not want you to see him any different.

NSFW: At first in order to not scare you away he would be gentle and vanilla with you in bed. Then he would slowly introduce you to his depraved and dark side of it.

Does he manipulate you into giving in? Yes, yes he does. But you wont ever notice it.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He likes them, his hugs are short but with full of meaning. He likes to give you one during the mornings and at night.

Its a routine he has, he needs to at least give you one during the day.

On special times his hugs will be longer, maybe in your anniversary, he will hold you in his arms against his chest letting you listen to his heart beat.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

In is mind, he tells you the L word just days after starting dating you, or even while he stalked you.

He knows he loves you, but wants you to say it to him first so he can respond pulling all his heart in these words.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He gets easily jealous, not because he does not trust you. But because he wants you all for himself.

Not only does he gets jealous over strange males, but over your friends too.

If he feels like you are passing too much time with them, then he will use his charm to keep you away from them.

If things gets more serious...then he will just make them dissapear, he may torture them or take two at times and makes them play a deadly game but the catch is..no one has a chance of winning.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Oh! His kisses are full of love and passion, his favorite spot its defenetly your lips. He loves to kiss them till they end all red and puffy.

Your neck is another place, he likes to leave both, small kisses and long ones in order to leave marks behind.

He likes to be kissed by you on his lips, neck, cheeck and hands. The last one its his personal favorite since it makes him feel less of a monster...or does not care what he does as long as you like his hands.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Actually no.

He can fake around kids that are not his but he does not want kids with you.

He wants to live a long life with you and only you. He wants your attention only on him.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Depends on how the night activities went.

Sometimes he lets you sleep while he gets ready but he finds you making him breakfast. Thats a thing that always happen.

If he feels like he wants to spend more time with him then he would ask you to shower with him, and help him dress for the day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Depends on how he wants the night to go and and what time he gets back.

If he comes early and just wants to spend quiality time with you, you two would watch a movie or talk for a bit.

And if he wants to do another tnings...well you two are in for a long time.

If he comes home late then he would prefer you to be asleep, since he still has to shower and other things.

But you usually wait for him awake or wake up once he gets in, you like to see his tired face light up when he sees how much you worry over him.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Its complicated. He likes how you see him and only know of his depraved side when it comes to sex.

He may twist the truth about his past and what he does for work, maybe with a few years he will reveal something more, but nothing that would scare you.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He has much patience, needs it for his work and it traslates to your relationship. Its not like you can do more to break his patience, he deals with worse things.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers every single detail.

Even since he stalked you and got all your personal information, its like his second life.

What you like and dislike, what type of music, food, colors and activities, he remembers all of it.

Its impossible for him to forget a single detail when it comes to you.

He remembers your the special dates, from the first time he saw you to the first date you to had.

Your anniversary date its printed on his mind, you will find the most romantic dinner waiting for you, the most relaxing day just for you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment its one centrain day, the day you told him you loved him.

It was a sunny day of spring, both of you were walking around a park, seeing the flowers and nature as well as other couples.

He had stopped to buy you some sweet and was enjoying seeing you munch over them.

"You know, we have been dating for some time now" You said to him, stopping to look up at him.

Taking a deep breath you added "And I cant keep this hide from you anymore, I love you, I have never feel loved like this before. And I have never loved someone so much before, it makes my heart feel heavy in a good way. And I want you to know it, I love you"

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He is very protective over you.

While he knows the organization wont do anything to you unless you do something to interfer with the games he feels at ease with that.

He does not trust the peopel.

He hacks your phone so he can know where you are at all hours. Has cameras at his home and a security system in case someone breaks in.

He even teachs you to use a gun and fight just in case.

(Having you around him its just a plus)

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

LOTS. Each date, anniversary and gift suprasses the last one.

He will ask you what you biggest dream is and make it come true. Gets you the best gifts and take you to the most fancy and fun dates.

Even once you two are married he likes to still take you out like old times.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He is:

A stalker.

Manipulative

Gaslighter

Possessive

Control freak but hides it.

He is a red flag, a walking one. But even that he gets all softie for you, his dear wife.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Well, he knows he is good looking and likes to take care of how he looks. But only for you.

Wants to look handsome and well dress for you. Does not care if he catches the eyes of others, he just wants you to look at him and tell him how good looking he is.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Totally. He never felt complete before, always alone and going on with his days. He never cared if he felt lonely, not till he met you from afar and then for real.

To him, you are his soulmate, his other half, his human side and lover. The one who grounds himself and brights his life.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Honestly if he ends being obsess with you he may ignore whatever thing he may dislike from you.

Does this mean he would not try and change you? Oh no, he would.

Something he dislikes is disobedicneic, if he tells you to not ask about his work he expects you to do as told. You cant follow, you cant enter his office...

Thats what he hates the most.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Before meeting you, he would sleep six hours. And thats it. His nights are plagued with nightmares and lots of times he would wake up before his alarm and look outside the window, towards the dark till the sun comes out and the lights of other houses starts to get on.

But once he meets you, he becomes a heavy sleepier, he loves to cuddle you during the night, with you by his side his nightmares are gone. His six hours passed to be eight hours, more if he feels greedy and want to stay besides you some more.

[pbaz7]

AGAINST THE TIDE: PART TEN

paige x azzi

warning: sexual content

word count: 7.7k

A/N: Sorry this one is a little late in the day I was bob the builder today putting a dresser together 😭. I think y’all will like this chapter, it’s just really cute honestly, couldn’t do any angst after yesterday just needed pure serotonin. Hope everyone had a great day 🫶🏼

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After their first date, Paige and Azzi found themselves spending more time together again. Their connection felt natural, as if no time had passed, but now it was layered with a new intimacy they didn’t have before. They still followed the established boundaries, but unlike before, the boundaries were more exciting than restrictive–filled with unspoken promises and a sense of anticipation.

When they watched movies, they cuddled, Azzi often curling into Paige’s side. Without thinking, Azzi’s fingers would trace patterns on Paige’s palm. A new habit, different from how she used to play with her fingers, a habit Paige quickly became addicted to. Despite the growing closeness, they still hadn’t kissed and they didn’t spend the night in one another’s rooms, much to Paige’s dismay who claimed she just wanted to cuddle. Still, she was always respectful, hugging Azzi and giving her a kiss on the cheek as she left or insisting to walk Azzi ‘home’ even if it was just a couple of stairs down.

Their busy schedule made it hard to plan another date. November was always chaotic with practices, games, and travel taking up most of their time. But when they did finally find a free evening, Azzi suggested they go bowling.

Azzi had been teasing Paige all night about how she was finally better than her at something, but of course, Paige disagreed. “I’ve had more strikes than you,” Paige pointed out, throwing a glance over at the scoreboard. “You’ve just been lucky.

Azzi shrugged nonchalantly, a playful smile pulling at her lips. “Sure, keep telling yourself that. You were the one lucky at the beginning.” She rolled the ball down the lane, watching it spin toward the pins with confidence.

Paige laughed, but the competition was lighthearted. The evening had been filled with the kind of easy back-and-forth that only happens when two people are completely comfortable with one another.

When it was Paige’s turn to bowl again, Azzi was walking back towards the chairs and Paige’s hand swatted her ass hard as she said “I’ll catch up,” with a grin, not waiting for a response before walking towards the lane with her ball in hand.

Azzi rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything, the brief flash of amusement on her face giving away just how much she was enjoying the attention.

As the game went on, their touchiness grew more frequent, more natural. At one point, Azzi was standing directly behind Paige while she was preparing for her next turn. Sheleaned in, resting her chin on Paige’s shoulder as her arms wrapped loosely around Paige’s waist. Paige, for her part, didn’t flinch, the contact familiar and comforting in a way despite Azzi’s intentions. She just focused on the game, letting Azzi’s presence sink in.

Azzi’s breath tickled the back of Paige’s neck, sending a rush of warmth through her. “You seem so focused, P,” Azzi whispered, her voice light but teasing.

Paige gave a half-laugh as she released the ball, knocking down most of the pins. “I was,” she replied, her voice amused. She looked at Azzi, catching her eyes for a moment, feeling the subtle tension of their proximity.

They started to take breaks in between each turn, both of them wanting the night to last longer. When they sat down to rest, Azzi casually threw her legs over Paige’s lap, not giving it a second thought. She leaned her head back against the seat, her eyes closed, as Paige absentmindedly ran her fingers along Azzi’s leg, a silent acknowledgment of how close they had become.

Paige loved every second of the date even though it was so simple. She loved how carefree Azzi seemed to be. How she wasn’t tensing slightly at the beginning of every touch while they were in public. How she initiated most of it. It was simple but Paige definitely noticed all the little things about Azzi’s behavior tonight. The younger girl just seemed a lot more comfortable than she used to.

As time passed, their interactions grew more intimate as they got lost in one another's presence. Azzi, doing whatever felt natural, slid her hands under Paige’s hoodie as they talked, her fingers brushing against her hips. Paige’s breath hitched slightly, a quick jolt of surprise running through her. She sent Azzi a look, her voice low but clear when she said, “Azzi please.”

Azzi immediately pulled her hands back, putting her hands up in surrender, but the playful twinkle in her eyes remained. “What? You didn’t like it?” she teased.

Paige couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re pushing it,” she said, though there was a smile tugging at her lips.

Azzi only shrugged, unconcerned. “Alrighty,” she said with a grin, clearly content to let the teasing continue.

It was clear that they were only getting more comfortable with one another. Paige, for all her playful competitiveness, couldn’t deny how much she enjoyed these little moments with Azzi.

The game continued on for far longer than either of them had intended. With every turn, every laugh, and every playful jab, the competition was forgotten, lost in the easy rhythm of each other's company. The tension between them picked up and Paige swore Azzi was doing it on purpose, so it became less about the game and more about Paige trying to control herself.

Azzi eventually won, but it wasn’t really a surprise. Paige didn’t protest, though. She might’ve let Azzi take the lead intentionally the last two times she bowled, but she played it off like she was disappointed.

“Bullshit!” Paige groaned, pretending to sulk. “I let you win!”

Azzi smirked, leaning back in her seat as she wiped her hands. “Sure you did,” she teased. “Let’s go with that.”

Paige rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t suppress the small grin tugging at her lips. It was one of those rare, easy moments, the kind that felt like nothing could ruin it.

They eventually left the bowling alley, stepping out into the cool night air. The sounds of the city were alive around them, but they felt distant, as if the world had shrunk to just the two of them. The hum of their playful banter lingered as they leaned against Paige's car, the faint glow of a nearby streetlamp casting soft light over them.

Azzi slipped into the small space between Paige and the car, her arms instinctively wrapping around Paige’s neck. Paige looked at her, her gaze flickering between Azzi’s eyes and the way they darted, almost unconsciously, to her lips.

"You know you can kiss me, right?" Paige asked, her voice soft but teasing, her smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Azzi smiled slightly, her cheeks warming. "I’m not supposed to," she murmured, her words quiet for only the two of them.

Paige tilted her head, inching closer as her eyes sparkled with amusement. "Mmm, why not?"

Azzi hesitated, her lips parting as if to respond, but no words came. Finally, she said, "I have a timeline I’m supposed to follow."

Paige chuckled, as she leaned even closer, her breath brushing against Azzi's skin. "We were never really good at sticking to plans, were we?" Her voice dropped but her tone stayed playful.

Azzi’s resolve wavered, her heart rate picking up as Paige’s lips hovered so close, teasing her with their proximity. Her fingers tightened slightly around Paige’s neck, her voice finally breaking through the tension, "Kiss me then."

Paige didn’t hesitate, instantly leaning down, her lips meeting Azzi’s in a soft kiss. The initial touch was slow, tentative, but it only took a moment for the kiss to deepen, the rhythm between them syncing as if they’d been doing this for years.

Paige’s hand found its way to Azzi’s back, holding her closer as the kiss stretched on, each second feeling longer than the last. When they finally broke apart, Paige’s voice was low, a little breathless as she mumbled against Azzi’s lips, “I thought we were supposed to be moving slow.”

Azzi’s smile was slow and knowing as she pulled Paige back in for another kiss, her arms tightening around Paige’s neck. She didn’t answer right away, instead kissing Paige again, missing the way her lips felt way too much. When she did pull back, just slightly, her voice was soft, but certain. “This is slow.”

Paige didn’t say anything else. She simply melted back into the kiss, her hands tracing the familiar lines of Azzi’s back as time seemed to slow around them. Everything about the night, about their connection, felt like it was falling into place—slowly, but surely.

After what felt like hours—though it was probably only a couple of minutes—Azzi finally pulled away from the kiss, her lips swollen, her breath shaky. She let out a light laugh, trying to catch her breath. “Alright,” she said softly, still holding Paige close, “we need to stop.”

Paige, still a little dazed, just looked at her, eyes full of admiration. She didn’t argue. There was no hesitation in her response. “Okay,” she nodded, her voice soft but firm, clearly completely comfortable with whatever pace Azzi wanted to set for them.

Azzi gave her one more quick kiss, a brief moment that made Paige’s heart race again before Azzi’s hands gently pressed against her chest, pushing her back softly. Paige couldn’t help but smile, the corners of her lips curling up in a way that Azzi couldn’t possibly miss.

Paige opened the passenger door, stepping back and letting Azzi slide into the seat. The moment felt easy, natural—like they had both found their way to something they hadn’t even known they were looking for.

Paige rounded the front of the car and got in the driver’s seat. She didn’t rush, not really. They both knew it was late, but there was no urgency in how they moved. As she started the engine and pulled away from the parking lot, the drive back to campus felt peaceful, even with the soft hum of the tires on the road. It wasn’t filled with heavy conversation; it didn’t need to be. There was something perfect about just being there, together, in the quiet moments.

December 2022

The suite was alive with the sound of laughter, music, and the occasional shout from one of the drinking games happening in every corner as the team celebrated their holiday party they decided to throw with just them. It was a whirlwind of holiday cheer, albeit the slightly messy, drunken kind. Twinkling fairy lights were strung haphazardly across the ceiling, their warm glow clashing with the flashing colors of a mini disco ball someone had set up in the corner, and the room had a faint scene of spiked eggnog lingering in the air.

Paige, leaning against the counter with a cup in hand, was watching Azzi from across the room. The chaos of the holiday party swirled around her—laughter, music, and the occasional crash of something hitting the floor—but her focus stayed locked on Azzi.

Azzi was deep in a game of flip cup, her competitiveness on full display as she high-fived Aubrey after every successful flip. The room erupted in cheers as her team scored another win, and she flashed a huge grin. Mid-celebration, she glanced over and caught Paige staring. Her eyebrow quirked, and a playful smirk spread across her lips. Paige rolled her eyes, feigning disinterest, and took a sip of her drink, hoping to appear unaffected.

Nika slid up beside her, laughing as she nudged Paige’s shoulder. “You’re so down bad, twin.”

Paige shot her a glare. “No, I’m not.”

Nika snorted, crossing her arms. “Right, because casually ogling your ‘not girlfriend yet’ all night is totally normal behavior. You act like you can’t go talk to her.”

Paige shrugged, attempting to play it cool. “Just keeping my distance.”

Nika raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

Paige sighed, mumbling as she glanced at her drink. “She still has this no-sex rule, and I’m a little drunk. Just trying to make my life easier, you know?”

Before Nika could respond, as if on cue, Azzi made her way over. Without a word, she reached out and took Paige’s cup from her hand, taking a long sip. Azzi’s casual dominance sent a ripple of heat through Paige, who could only stare as Azzi set the cup back down on the counter with a smile.

“Thanks for that,” Azzi said, her voice light but her eyes were hazy, a clear indication of her being a little more than tipsy.

“You could’ve asked,” Paige said, crossing her arms and attempting to sound unimpressed.

Azzi leaned in slightly, her voice dropping just enough to mess with Paige. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Nika let out an exaggerated groan. “Ya’ll are ridiculous. Just fuck already!”

Paige rolled her eyes, muttering, “Mind your business.” But the small smile tugging at her lips gave her away.

Nika rolled her eyes, muttering something about how she couldn’t deal with them and she was fixing this before the end of the night, before walking away to join the chaos on the other side of the room. The second she was gone, Azzi turned her full attention back to Paige.

Azzi stepped closer and she wrapped her arms around Paige’s neck, her fingers tangling in the soft hair at the nape of her neck. The gentle pressure of her touch made Paige clench her jaw, and before she could say anything, Azzi leaned in, brushing her lips against Paige’s in a slow, deliberate kiss.

Paige exhaled softly into the kiss, her hands instinctively finding Azzi’s waist before sliding lower. Her fingers grazed Azzi’s hip, before she squeezed her ass pulling her closer. With a playful smirk, Paige muttered against Azzi’s lips, “I think we should take Nika’s advice.”

Azzi smiled into the kiss, her voice low. “Should we?”

Paige didn’t hesitate, her lips brushing against Azzi’s again as she murmured a breathy, “Mhmm,” before deepening the kiss. The room around them seemed to fade away, the party’s noise becoming a distant hum as they got lost in each other.

But just as Paige was settling into the moment, Azzi abruptly pulled back, her hands slipping away from Paige’s neck. Her eyes sparkled as she took a deliberate step back.

“I’m sure you would like that,” Azzi said, her tone light and teasing as she grabbed Paige’s drink and turned on her heel.

“Wait, what?” Paige blinked, momentarily stunned as Azzi began walking away, her hips swaying in the process.

Azzi glanced back over her shoulder, smirking. “You’ll survive.”

Paige groaned, leaning back against the counter as she watched Azzi immerse herself back in the game. Her hand ran through her hair in frustration, a smile tugging at her lips despite herself.

…

Later that night the suite had somehow descended into even more chaos. At Nika’s insistence—“To spice things up!” she had declared—they decided to start doing body shots. No one could quite remember how the idea came about, but with the amount of alcohol flowing, no one was questioning it too much either.

It began with Lou and Dorka, the two veterans claiming none of them could drink like foreigners, laughing uncontrollably as Lou struggled to stay still while Dorka leaned over her, slurping the drink out of her belly button with dramatic flair. The room erupted into cheers and whistles, fueling the competitive energy. Jana and Ayanna, eager to join the fun, followed suit. The two freshmen stumbled through the motions, Jana’s laugh infectious as they fumbled with the lime and nearly spilled the salt everywhere.

Then it was Paige and Nika’s turn. Paige smirked as she stepped up, her confidence on full display as Nika flopped onto the counter dramatically, taking off her shirt completely in the name of competition. The crowd around them hooted and hollered as Paige leaned down expertly, sucking the drink from Nika’s belly button, licked the salt from her skin, and grabbed the lime with her teeth, making sure to avoid Nika’s lips in the process.

“Okay, I see you!” Nika teased, sitting up and swatting Paige playfully on the shoulder as the group burst into cheers. Paige laughed, grabbing a towel to wipe her face, when she noticed the next pair stepping up.

It was Aaliyah and Azzi.

The energy in the room shifted slightly for Paige as Azzi took her spot on the counter, her movements slow. Aaliyah leaned down to start, but the moment she did, Azzi’s eyes found Paige across the room. The heat in her gaze was unmistakable—a playful challenge mixed with something deeper.

Paige froze, her breath catching as she tried—and failed—to focus on Aaliyah going through the motions. Her jaw clenched tightly, the tension building with each passing second. She shouldn’t be jealous; it was Aaliyah for christ sake, her teammate and friend. But watching Aaliyah run her tongue up Azzi’s stomach, tracing a path that Paige desperately wanted to follow herself, was more upsetting than she wanted to admit.

Azzi knew exactly what she was doing. That much was clear in the way her gaze stayed locked on Paige the entire time, her smirk widening as Aaliyah reached for the lime. When Azzi tilted her head slightly, her expression was daring, almost taunting.

Paige’s jaw clinched as Aaliyah leaned in, and she swore she saw Azzi adjust ever so slightly, ensuring the lime was far enough in her mouth that Aaliyah’s lips brushed hers when she grabbed it. The brief contact drew a soft laugh from Aaliyah, but Azzi didn’t react—her focus remained on Paige, her smirk now carrying a touch of satisfaction.

Nika nudged Paige, grinning knowingly. “Damn she’s good. You gonna let her one-up you like that?”

Paige shook her head, her jaw tightening as she forced herself to look away, her mind racing as heat spread through her.

The body shots continued, with different combinations of teammates stepping up and cheers erupting after each turn. Laughter filled the room, and the alcohol buzzed through everyone’s veins, amplifying the chaos. Just when Paige thought they’d finally moved past the game, Nika, deciding to be an instigator tonight, raised her voice.

“Wait, I don’t think Azzi’s done a body shot yet!” she declared, her eyes gleaming with mischief.

Paige immediately shot Nika a warning look. “Don’t even—”

Before she could finish, Nika grinned and gave Paige a firm push forward. “Azzi, go ahead!”

Paige groaned, stumbling slightly but catching herself. “Nope. Not happening,” she said firmly, backing away. There was no way she was letting Azzi have that kind of control over her in front of everyone. She knew exactly how Azzi operated when she had Paige like that and she wasn’t about to play into it.

Unfortunately, the rest of the team quickly caught on to Nika’s scheme.

“Paige! Paige! Paige!” they started chanting, their voices growing louder with each passing second.

Paige rolled her eyes, exhaling sharply as the chants filled the room. She glanced at Azzi, who stood off to the side, arms crossed, her amusement barely concealed. The glint in her eye said it all: she was thoroughly enjoying this and the ball was in Paige’s court.

“Fine!” Paige yelled, throwing her hands up in surrender. The room erupted in cheers as she climbed onto the counter, muttering under her breath about how she was going to kill Nika later.

She lifted her shirt over her sports bra, exposing her toned stomach. Ice, of course, took over the role of bartender, grinning as she poured way too much liquor into Paige’s belly button. Faking a “oops,” as the liquid pooled messily out of the sides. Ice added a long salt line up Paige’s torso for good measure.

Azzi stepped forward, her expression calm, but her eyes said otherwise. She grabbed a lime from the counter and walked over to Paige. Holding the lime between her fingers, she leaned in just close enough for Paige to catch the faint scent of her perfume.

“Here,” Azzi said softly, her voice low and a little teasing as she handed the lime to Paige.

Paige huffed, reluctantly taking the lime and placing it between her lips. The weight of everyone’s attention was pressing down on her, but it was nothing compared to the way Azzi was looking at her.

The room fell silent, each teammate watching. Most of them had been waiting for Paige and Azzi to officially get together, and this felt like a nudge in the right direction. Still, there were a few stifled snickers and whispered comments about how this was likely to be both hilarious and a little disgusting to watch.

Azzi stepped closer, her calm composure somehow making everything feel ten times more heated. Her eyes raked over Paige’s body, studying her with an infuriating mix of amusement and intrigue. It was as if Paige was a puzzle Azzi had all the time in the world to figure out. Then, she leaned down, her breath warm against Paige’s skin as she took her time, drawing out every second.

Paige’s jaw tightened as Azzi’s lips brushed against her stomach, soft and extremely slow. Azzi didn’t just drink the liquor pooling in Paige’s belly button; she made a deliberate effort to catch every drop that had spilled from Ice’s purposeful overpour. The slight pressure of her lips and the way her tongue darted over Paige’s skin sent jolts of heat coursing through Paige’s body.

The room was still, but Paige barely noticed. She was hyper-aware of every movement Azzi made. As Azzi worked her way up, trailing along the line of salt, she slowed even further, letting her tongue drag against Paige’s skin in agonizingly unhurried strokes. Occasionally, she’d pause to suck lightly, never enough to make it obvious to everyone else, but enough form Paige to feel it.

By the time Azzi reached the lime, Paige was unbearably warm, her entire body tight with tension. Azzi stopped, their faces now just inches apart. Her smile returned as her eyes locked onto Paige’s. The room seemed to hold its breath as Azzi leaned in, closing the small gap.

When she finally took the lime, her tongue deliberately brushed against Paige’s lips, the contact sending a sharp jolt through Paige. Azzi pulled the lime away effortlessly, stepping back with a gleam in her eyes.

The room exploded into cheers and laughter, but Paige remained frozen, still reeling from what just happened. Azzi, seemingly composed, chewed the lime and shot Paige a quick wink before walking away, leaving Paige sitting there, flushed and completely on edge.

…

Paige had gone painfully quiet, her usual banter replaced by soft sips from her drink. She kept her focus on anything but Azzi, trying to blend into the chaos of the room while her mind raced.

Eventually, Azzi wandered over and took a seat next to her, sliding in close like she always did. The casual intimacy of it only made Paige’s restraint feel more fragile. Azzi leaned in, her shoulder brushing Paige’s, her presence impossible to ignore.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Azzi teased, her voice low and warm, but Paige still didn’t look at her.

Paige exhaled sharply through her nose and muttered, “Az, you need to chill.”

Azzi tilted her head, a small, amused smile playing at her lips. “Why?” she asked, her voice laced with curiosity.

Paige finally turned her head, her blue eyes meeting Azzi’s. She looked almost exasperated, her jaw tight as she said, “Because I’m trying to be respectful.”

The simple statement made Azzi pause, a flush of warmth spreading through her. She hummed softly, the sound tinged with something deeper, something more tender.

It wasn’t the first time Paige had stopped herself, holding back for Azzi’s sake, but it never failed to do things to her. The way Paige clenched her jaw, her whole body tense as she fought to respect Azzi’s boundaries, only made it harder for Azzi to keep her own.

Azzi’s resolve was strongest when Paige was being playful or teasing, when she was being cocky, but it crumbled every time Paige was gentle. Every time Paige immediately pulled back when Azzi said “stop,” or when Azzi could see the physical effort it took for Paige to keep her hands from wandering, it made Azzi’s heart race.

And yet, despite how much it turned her on, it also made her feel safe—like Paige wasn’t just after the thrill but genuinely cared about her comfort. Azzi didn’t say anything for a moment, letting the warmth settle over her.

“You’re making it very hard to be chill, you know,” Azzi finally said, leaning in just enough for her voice to brush against Paige’s ear.

Paige’s grip tightened on her drink as she glanced at Azzi. “Yeah, well, you’re not exactly making it easy, either.”

Azzi leaned back slightly, her lips curving into a smile as she studied Paige’s face. Then, without breaking eye contact, she said, “Let’s go, then.”

Paige blinked, caught off guard. “Wait, what—”

But before she could finish, Azzi was already grabbing her hand, pulling her up from the couch. Paige barely had time to process what was happening as Azzi wove them through the chaotic room, her grip firm.

“Az, hold on—” Paige tried, but her voice faltered when Azzi looked back at her, .

As they neared the door, Nika spotted them leaving and smirked, her voice cutting through the noise of the room. “Use protection!” she called out, loud enough for everyone to hear.

The room erupted in laughter, with a few drunken cheers and whistles echoing after them. Paige groaned, her cheeks flushing as she glanced back at the team, who were thoroughly entertained. “Nika, shut up!” she shouted over her shoulder, but her words only fueled more laughter.

Azzi, however, didn’t miss a beat. She simply smirked, holding the door open for Paige as if they weren’t leaving the party under a spotlight.. “Ignore her,” she said smoothly, tugging Paige out into the quiet hallway.

…

As Azzi entered the room, she immediately moved toward the small speaker on her nightstand, connecting her phone to play some music. If any of her suitemates decided to come back, at least the music could cover up some of the sounds that might slip through.

Paige slipped into the bathroom, the soft sound of water splashing in the background as she dabbed a bit on her face. Azzi, now settled on the bed, let out a quiet laugh as she heard this taking place. The blonde was always so intentional about controlling herself, but tonight she was visibly trying to calm the fire that had been building.

Paige emerged from the bathroom, wiping her face with a towel, her expression soft as she took in the sight of Azzi. Without thinking, Azzi pulled off her shirt, tossing it aside before laying back on the bed, her body relaxed, her eyes never leaving Paige. She tilted her head slightly as she looked up, studying Paige with that familiar, intense gaze that made Paige's heart race.

Paige stood at the foot of the bed for a moment, just watching. Her chest rose and fell with deep, measured breaths, her lips still slightly parted as she tried to compose herself. Azzi could see it all—how Paige was struggling to maintain control, how the tension between them had grown unbearable for her.

Azzi’s lips curled into a sly smile as she sat up slightly, reaching out and taking Paige’s hand. Her touch was gentle but firm, pulling Paige toward her.

Now Paige was hovering above Azzi, her hands planted on either side of Azzi’s head. The air between them felt electric, charged with all the things they weren’t saying. Azzi’s dark eyes locked onto Paige’s, searching for something unspoken, while her free hand lightly grazed the back of Paige’s neck.

Neither of them moved to break the silence. As they just looked at each other, savoring the moment.

“You’re thinking too much,” Azzi said softly, her voice a gentle murmur that broke through the tension.

Paige let out a shaky breath, her gaze flickering down to Azzi’s lips. “Yeah, well, I have a lot to think about. Trying to control myself” she muttered, her tone almost defensive.

Azzi let out a soft laugh, the sound warm and inviting. “You don’t need to.” Her hand on Paige’s neck slid upward, her fingers threading into Paige’s hair. “So stop thinking.”

Paige’s resolve wavered as her body instinctively leaned closer, her breath mingling with Azzi’s. Their faces were so close now that Paige could feel the warmth radiating from Azzi’s skin, the subtle scent of her perfume making her head spin.

“Az...” Paige started, but her voice faltered as Azzi’s thumb gently traced a line along her jaw.

“I want you Paige” Azzi whispered, her tone teasing yet tender.

Paige didn’t respond—not with words, anyway. Instead, she dipped her head, her lips finally brushing against Azzi’s in a slow, deliberate kiss that made time feel like it had stopped altogether.

The kiss was soft at first, almost tentative, but it quickly deepened as Paige’s desire took over. Azzi’s fingers trailed up to the back of Paige’s neck, tangling in her hair as their rhythm fell into sync. Paige lowered herself a little more onto Azzi, the need to be closer to her growing with every second.

They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity—kissing, breathing each other in, and forgetting the world outside Azzi’s room. Paige wasn’t in any rush; she was silently waiting, letting Azzi take the lead as she had ever since they started seeing each other. It was an unspoken understanding between them, and Paige respected it deeply.

Their kisses broke intermittently, a few times when they were taking clothes off, tossing them aside with ease, and again when they paused, foreheads pressed together, just looking at one another. The space between them felt different, charged with the weight of everything they hadn’t yet said but felt so deeply.

Eventually, Paige leaned down, her lips trailing down Azzi’s jaw to her neck. Her movements slowed and purposeful, as she left soft, visible marks. Azzi’s breath hitched each time, her hands gripping Paige’s head as she pulled her closer.

“Paige,” Azzi murmured, her voice breathy and laced with warmth.

Paige hummed against Azzi’s skin, the vibration making Azzi shiver. “Hmm?” she responded, her mouth never leaving Azzi’s neck, where she continued her soft assault, her lips and teeth working together.

Azzi arched slightly into Paige, her voice quieter now, like the words were slipping out without her realizing. “God, I missed you,” she breathed.

Paige stilled for just a moment, letting Azzi’s words wash over her before continuing, her kisses growing more intense. “I missed you too,” she finally whispered against Azzi’s skin, her voice low and sincere.

She trailed her lips over Azzi’s neck and down to her chest savoring every moment. As Paige moved, she slid her knee carefully between Azzi’s legs, applying the lightest pressure. Still, she made sure to pause, never moving further without Azzi’s explicit permission.

Azzi’s reactions were everything as Paige continued—her breaths hitching, her body shifting beneath Paige’s as her voice filled the room. She wasn’t quiet about how Paige made her feel, her soft murmurs of “so good” and the way she whispered Paige’s name fueling Paige’s every move.

Eventually, Azzi’s tone shifted, her voice taking on a pleading edge as she breathed out, “Paige…” It wasn’t just a name—it was a request, a need, a call that Paige couldn’t ignore.

Paige kissed her way back up Azzi’s neck, her lips brushing over every sensitive spot she knew by heart before finally meeting Azzi’s mouth again in a brief, passionate kiss. When she pulled back, Paige didn’t say anything at first, just stared down at Azzi, taking her in.

Azzi’s eyes were half-lidded, her pupils blown, her gaze soft and hazy as she looked up at Paige. The sight made something inside Paige swell with affection, and she couldn’t help but smile.

Azzi took a deep inhale at the sight of Paige’s warm smile, and her hands slid up to cup Paige’s face. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she murmured, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

Paige just shook her head slightly, leaning into Azzi’s touch. “Because you’re so perfect,” she whispered, her voice thick, before leaning down to kiss her again.

Azzi’s voice was soft but laced with need as she muttered out a breathy, “I need to feel you.”

Paige’s heart skipped at the words, and she nodded, her lips curving into a tender smile. Without breaking eye contact, she let her hand trail down, her movements deliberate and filled with care. The moment her fingers landed exactly where Azzi needed her, Azzi’s head tipped back slightly, her lips parting as a soft sigh escaped her, her eyes rolling back briefly before fluttering closed.

When Azzi gathered herself enough to open her eyes again, she pulled Paige closer, her arms wrapping tightly around Paige’s neck as her lips brushed against Paige’s ear. Her voice was a mix of raw emotion and pleasure as she whispered, “Fuck, I love you so much.”

The intensity of her words wasn’t lost on Paige. The “fuck” was an honest reaction to the sensation coursing through her, but the “I love you” carried the weight of something far deeper—a love that had grown and solidified between them over time. Paige stilled for just a moment, her chest tightening with an overwhelming mix of emotions, before she leaned down to kiss Azzi softly, murmuring against her lips, “I love you too. Always.”

As Paige whispered her love for Azzi, her soft touch never faltered, her movements gentle as she moved in and out curling her fingers with intention as she did so. Their lips met again in a slow, lingering kiss, their gazes locking whenever they pulled back for air. The intensity between them was palpable, yet it was laced with tenderness, a quiet understanding of the depth they shared.

Azzi, completely lost in the moment, clung to Paige as soft gasps and whispered praises fell from her lips. “God, baby…you feel so good,” she murmured, her voice trembling. “I missed you so much.”

Paige smiled against Azzi’s lips, her own heart racing at Azzi’s words. She kissed her again, trailing her lips down to Azzi’s neck and back, each touch meant to remind Azzi of how deeply she was cherished.

Amidst the overwhelming way she was feeling, Azzi’s gaze found Paige’s once more, and she froze for a moment. The way Paige looked down at her—so full of admiration, care, and unshakable love—made her chest feeling like it was about to explode. Her breathing hitched, and she struggled trying to make words escape her lips.

“Be my…” Azzi whispered, her voice breaking as her body reacted to Paige’s touch. “Fuck..fuck, Paige…be my girlfriend please.”

Paige stilled, her own breath catching at the words. She leaned in, resting her forehead against Azzi’s, their lips just a breath apart as she whispered back, her voice soft but full of certainty, “I thought this already meant I was.”

Azzi let out a soft laugh, the sound filled with relief and joy. “You are,” she murmured, pulling Paige into another kiss, her hands tangling in her hair as they melted further into one another, the moment now carrying the weight of something undeniably permanent.

As Paige shifted her focus, her movements became quicker, and Azzi’s soft sighs turned into something louder, something more unrestrained. The music played in the background, but it did little to mask the words spilling from Azzi’s lips—fragments of need and pleasure slipping through her control.

“I forgot how good you feel,” Azzi murmured breathily, her voice trembling with emotion and sensation. “You fuck me so good Paige…yes…right there, baby.”

Paige’s lips curved into a smile as she focused her attention, her eyes never leaving Azzi’s face, wanting to watch every reaction. Azzi’s body arched into her touch, her words becoming incoherent until all that remained were gasps, broken and heavy, echoing in the small room.

Paige leaned down, brushing her lips over Azzi’s ear and whispering, “You’re so beautiful like this.” The soft praise drew a shiver from Azzi, who clung to Paige with everything she had, completely lost in the way Paige was making her feel.

Knowing how much her words always affected Azzi, Paige didn’t stop. She kept her voice low, soothing yet making it clear she was in control, knowing exactly how to unravel the girl under her. “You’re doing so good for me Az,” Paige murmured, kissing the edge of Azzi’s jaw. “Taking it so well, baby. You sound so pretty… feel even better.”

Azzi’s breaths grew uneven, her body trembling beneath Paige’s as the words sank into her. Every whispered praise seemed to fuel the fire coursing through her, her chest heaving as her nails dug into Paige’s back.

“Paige baby…” Azzi gasped, her voice breaking as she arched into her. Paige smirked softly against Azzi’s skin, loving the way Azzi felt underneath her, feeling her body shake from the way she was making her feel.

When Paige shifted her pace just slightly, a cry tore from Azzi’s throat, her hands clutching Paige tighter. “Oh my God—fuck Paige!” she all but screamed, her voice echoing over the music in the background.

The sound of her name, so desperate and raw, only spurred Paige on, her lips finding Azzi’s again to swallow her gasps as she spilled onto Paige’s hand. Azzi’s nails raked down Paige’s back, leaving trails of heat in their wake, her entire body trembling as she clung to the blonde, utterly consumed by the moment.

…

A couple of hours later, they were still tangled in each other, their bodies glistening, hair a mess, and faint marks scattered over their skin. Azzi was straddling Paige as she rolled her hips against the strap between them, her hands threading through blonde hair as their lips moved in sync, the room filled with the quiet sounds.

The moment was interrupted by a loud banging on Azzi’s door. Without missing a beat, both of them yelled simultaneously, “Go away!”

From the other side, Ines’s muffled voice broke through. “Azzi, I’m sleepy!”

Paige groaned internally but didn’t pause, immediately realizing they sent Ines on purpose, knowing Azzi had a soft spot for her and would struggle to ignore her. Paige didn’t say anything, though, pushing her hips deeper into Azzi, making the brunette gasp softly. “Ignore her,” Paige murmured against Azzi’s lips, her voice low and persuasive as she moved again, drawing a quiet, shaky breath from Azzi.

For a moment, it worked. Azzi threw her head back, her chest rising and falling as she bit her lip, trying to stifle the sounds Paige was coaxing from her. But then Inez groaned loudly, knocking again with more urgency. “Azzziii!”

Azzi let out a reluctant laugh, her voice breathless as she called out, “Okay, Nes, I’m sorry!”

The faint sound of Inez’s footsteps retreating down the hall signaled she was finally gone.

Paige’s movements never stopped, only slowed to quiet the sounds, her hands on Azzi’s ass lifting her before bringing her back down as Azzi quieted herself. Azzi leaned forward, capturing Paige’s lips in a soft kiss, her hips moving more deliberately now, drawing them back into their rhythm.

Breaking the kiss, Azzi whispered breathlessly, “Help me finish, so we can be done, baby.”

Paige nodded, her lips brushing against Azzi’s as she murmured, “I got you.” Her hand moved in between them, her thumb circling softly, encouraging Azzi to keep moving. Paige met every roll of Azzi’s hips with her own, their rhythm building as the tension between them grew again.

Azzi clenched her jaw, trying to stay quiet, her breaths coming in sharp, shallow bursts. But as the feeling overwhelmed her, she bit down gently on Paige’s shoulder, her fingers scraping along Paige’s back as her body trembled with release. A soft whimper escaped her lips as she slumped forward against Paige, now completely spent.

Paige held her gently, kissing the top of Azzi’s head as she whispered, “You’re so amazing.” She slowly eased out of Azzi as she laid her on the bed, her movements tender, careful not to jostle her too much. Standing, Paige grabbed a towel, her gaze lingering on Azzi, whose body was still glowing in the aftermath.

Azzi’s eyes fluttered open just enough to find Paige. She offered a small, satisfied smile, her voice barely above a whisper. “You spoil me.”

Paige grinned softly, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Of course.”

Once Paige cleaned up, she returned to the bed, slipping under the covers immediately pulling Azzi into her arms. Azzi shifted closer, tangling their legs together as her fingers found their way to Paige’s hair, gently detangling it in slow, soothing strokes.

They talked quietly in the dim light, their voices soft. Azzi let out a small laugh, wincing slightly. “I’m already sore,” she murmured, her tone playful despite the complaint.

Paige chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to Azzi’s temple. “M’sorry, baby,” she whispered, her voice warm.

Azzi laughed again, shaking her head as she replied, “No, you’re not.”

A grin spread across Paige’s face as she kissed Azzi’s forehead, her hold on her tightening. They continued their quiet conversation, voices dropping lower with each passing moment as sleep began to tug at them.

Tangled in one another, Paige’s voice softened to a murmur. “I love you, Az,” she said, her words carrying the weight of her heart.

Azzi’s fingers paused in Paige’s hair as she whispered back, “I love you more, pretty.” Her voice was thick with sincerity, both of their words lingering in the air as they drifted off, their breaths falling in sync.

…

When Azzi stirred awake the next morning, she let out a low groan, stretching her arms over her head as her body protested from the night before. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she frowned, her hand brushing the empty side of the bed. Paige never got up early—it wasn’t her thing.

She sat up, glancing around and noticing her door slightly ajar. Confused but curious, she pulled on a shirt and a pair of sweats, padding out into the living room. Where she saw Paige, half-asleep and slouched on the couch with her laptop balanced precariously on her legs. Azzi chuckled softly at the sight.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice still thick with sleep.

Paige blinked up at her, a small, sheepish smile tugging at her lips. “I told Geno I’d send him film notes for the next team we’re playing,” she mumbled, stifling a yawn.

Azzi’s gaze softened, her heart swelling at Paige’s dedication. She walked over, shaking her head with an amused smile. “It’s too early for this,” she said, gently closing the laptop on Paige’s lap and setting it on the table. “You look exhausted.”

Paige opened her mouth to protest, but Azzi didn’t give her the chance. She sat down on the couch, tugging Paige toward her. Paige allowed herself to be guided, sighing as Azzi pulled her close, positioning them so they were lying back slightly, with Paige resting her head on Azzi’s chest as Azzi rested her head on the back of the couch.

“You need sleep more than Geno needs those notes right now. You can do them later,” Azzi teased, her fingers automatically threading through Paige’s hair.

“Mmm, probably,” Paige murmured, her voice muffled against Azzi’s chest as her body relaxed entirely in Azzi’s embrace.

The two of them laid there in a peaceful silence, Azzi’s fingers gently threading through Paige’s hair as Paige let her eyes fall shut. Slowly, the steady rhythm of Azzi’s heartbeat lulled her back to sleep, her body fully relaxed.

Azzi glanced down after a while, realizing Paige had drifted off. Her lips curved into a soft smile as she leaned down to press a tender kiss to the top of Paige’s head. Watching her sleep like this, so vulnerable and utterly at ease, tugged at Azzi’s heartstrings.

It reminded her of something Paige had said a while ago, before they had things figured out—they were sprawled out in Azzi’s room, homework abandoned on the desk because Azzi had insisted on cuddling instead. Paige had eventually relented but only on one condition: she got to lay on Azzi’s chest.

Azzi had teased her about it at the time, but she remembered how Paige started to ramble, her voice soft as her thoughts spilled out randomly.

“Laying on somebody’s chest is probably one of the most intimate things,” Paige had mused, her cheek resting against Azzi’s chest.

“Oh really?” Azzi had replied, laughing lightly, not expecting the seriousness in Paige’s response.

“Yeah,” Paige had hummed, her voice tinged with thoughtfulness. “You’re just lying there, probably with somebody you like a lot, and the way their heartbeat sounds calms you down, relaxes you completely in a way that’s probably not usual. It feels so... exposed, I guess. You're so close you can hear the one thing keeping the person you love alive. I don’t know, it just seems kinda crazy.”

Azzi’s heart had stuttered in her chest then, and Paige had immediately noticed, her lips curving into a teasing smile as she pointed it out. Azzi had turned red, hastily shoving Paige off her chest with a grumbled “You’re so annoying,” though her cheeks burned for the rest of the day.

Now, as Azzi looked down at this version of Paige—the one she loved so deeply, who was no longer just her best friend but her girlfriend—a grin spread across her face. This was the same girl who had turned her world upside down with her rambles, her teasing, her tender way of seeing the world.

Gently, Azzi tightened her arms around Paige, holding her closer, her grin softening. She pressed another kiss to Paige’s temple, letting herself savor this quiet moment, this piece of intimacy Paige had described so perfectly. It really was crazy, Azzi thought. But it was also perfect.

[formulawolff]

celebrity — l.h.

pairing -> fem!reader x lewis hamilton

word count -> 2.2k

warnings -> lewis in bf mode, slight angst, cursing, alcohol usage, marijuana use, sexual innuendos, lewis is a FLIRT, reader is slightly insecure, some tears, hurt + comfort (THE BEST TROPE EVER)

a/n -> i am well aware this is not in the garage, but i just can’t stop thinking about this concept. i hope i did it justice!

“you look beautiful.”

heat flourishes into your cheeks, your palms clamming as his hand drifts toward your thigh, grasping the heated skin. he flashes you a smirk as his thumb delves underneath the fabric of your gown.

“easy there,” you murmur, head connecting with his shoulder, “we don’t want to be late.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“i think a few minutes wouldn’t—“

“lewis.” you tut, and he picks up the way your eyes roll in the rear view mirror, “i’m already an anxious wreck. now is not the time.”

“i’m just trying to put a smile on that sweet face,” he counters, yet his tone is light, “you’ve just been so uptight today. all i’ve seen for hours is that tight-lipped frown. the one you wear when you’re dreading something or super worried.”

you shrug, gaze darting toward the passenger window, “i just hate work-related events. especially around the holidays. why do they even matter?”

as fate would have it, your boyfriend, lewis hamilton, would be accompanying you to a gala hosted by your agency. it was the annual holiday ball, where all of the employees were invited to dress their best, encouraged to bring along a plus one.

due to lewis’ hectic schedule during the year, it was difficult to find a window of time to see one another. add in a time zone difference along with your own line of work, and it was almost impossible.

however, lewis made no exceptions when it came to you.

if it was something involving you, he would find time.

no matter what.

and just a couple of days ago, he flew into chicago, so that he could be with you for all of the holiday celebrations. although you had only been dating for about a year, you knew it was time to introduce him to not only your family, but your coworkers as well.

so what better way to introduce him than a work-related party?

yet, it wasn’t that easy.

lewis was no ordinary man. he was a seven time world champion, a highly decorated and coveted athlete in his sport. he spent his weekends driving at speeds well over two hundred miles an hour. he was sponsored by tommy hilfiger, owned a brand, and was even knighted.

he was well-known all around the world, even by those who were not formula one fans.

everyone knew sir lewis hamilton.

and what the world didn’t know, was that he had a girlfriend.

an american girl, merely twenty-three years old.

so naturally, you were a little apprehensive about tonight.

especially if people started to snap photos and post them.

that aspect was the most terrifying part of it all. what would people think? what would his fans say about you? what rumors would the tabloids and gossip pages spin?

how would people perceive you? how would they see your relationship with lewis? would they hate you? like you? think you’re pretty? what if lewis broke up with you because you weren’t good enough for his fans?

what if?

what if?

what if?

his hand squeezes your thigh, bringing you back to earth, “they’re important because your coworkers are like a second family. i know that sounds corny, but it’s true, especially at an agency like yours.

you guys see one another for nearly forty hours a week. i think it’s only fair you attend one work-related event. even around the holidays. who knows, some of your coworkers may not even have a family to come home to. so that’s why they enjoy events like this.”

letting out a huff, you shift your body to your right, in the direction of the window. a brassy chuckle rumbles in his throat, flowing from his plush lips.

“you know i’m right, love. that’s why you’re pouting over there.”

inhaling a sharp breath, you then exhale, shaking your head. the words are low, barely a whisper.

“maybe it’s because i don’t want everyone at work knowing about my private life.”

“oh baby girl,” lewis hums. you feel his grip on your thigh tighten, “is that what’s been bothering you?”

“y-yeah.”

your lower lip trembles, promising of tears. the golden lights of the city morph together as your vision blurs, the car soaring down lake shore drive. a steady hand dials the volume of the music down, his arm intertwining with yours.

just for a second, you feel his eyes pull away from the road, taking in the way you’re practically clinging to him, desperate for some comfort.

“talk to me love. tell me what’s going on.”

“i-i just,” you stammer, choking back sobs, “i just don’t like how my worlds are colliding. it makes me scared because it feels so… so… serious. i am terrified that you’re not going to like it here. or that you’re not going to like me.. the real me. and i just don’t want you to be bothered all night by people gawking or pointing or whispering.”

before you can even register what’s happening, lewis is pulling into the venue. as he places the car in park, waiting for the valet, you notice his jaw tighten, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

his brows are pinched together, his lips slightly pursed. his body shifts, the chain resting on his collarbone glittering in the low light. his chest heaves, almost as if he was panting, fighting something he couldn’t quite control.

almost as if his inhibitions were crumbling away by the second.

fingers curl around the base of your neck, pulling you in close. lewis cocks his head, tongue running along his lips as he studies you.

your pupils are wide, irises slightly glossy from the tears and the half-smoked joint tucked away in your clutch. your lips glimmer, shiny from the new lip oil he bought.

it was a shade he picked out hours ago, one that suited you oh so perfectly. he was satisfied with that pick, as it brought out colors in your eyes he never had noticed before. they were absolutely stunning, nearly pulling him in as he slowly fell further and further under your spell.

your hair was swept into an elegant style, one that you had never worn for him before. the way you managed to pull just about anything off left him speechless, struggling to find the words as his gaze wandered.

the gown clinging to your frame was stunning. it was a simple black piece adorned with crystal detailing on the bodice, sleeves, and skirt. it was a piece by elie saab, one of the top designers in the realm of gowns. very slyly, he was able to get your measurements one day on a whim, sending them over as quickly as possible.

he researched dozens upon dozens of gems and crystals so that he could find colors that reminded him of you. it was a gown that took months to perfect, as lewis started the moment you texted him about the event. he even had it flown over to the states with him, just so that he knew it wouldn’t get misplaced or damaged.

it was a one-of-one piece, made specifically for you and only you.

and to lewis, that was priceless.

he couldn’t tell you that, though. it was his little secret, meant to be divulged when he felt the moment was right.

“lewis,” the way his name falls from your lips is enticing, dripping with a sweetness he found himself addicted to, “they need to park the car.”

“oh,” he blinks, realizing that the attendant was waiting right outside, “shit. sorry.”

gritting your teeth, your can feel your heart thudding as lewis slips out of the car, chirping a greeting to the attendant. he makes his way around the front end, opening the door on your right.

he offers you his arm, bearing a wide smile. one of his trademark grins that nearly had you melting, your knees buckling as you took a step forward.

the agency you worked for was able to rent the art institute for the evening, transforming it to a wondrous winter-themed ball. all around there was a warm glow from candles, illuminating the vast space with golden light. people mill about, laughter intermingling with the clinking of glasses and music.

as you cling on to lewis, you feel your muscles tense, the pit in your stomach only growing by the second. fuck, there were more people than you expected. and of course, heads were starting to turn. ducking your head, you avoid any eye contact, hoping that lewis locates your table as soon as humanly possible.

this was just too much.

“easy there love,” his mouth ghosts over your ear, “i got you. i promise.”

“as long as you promise,” you mutter, shrinking slightly as you pass by a few people from the agency. there are a few gasps, hushed murmurs erupting as he manages to find your table, pulling your chair out.

“lewis, they’re staring.”

“let them."

in that moment, you want to sink into the chair. maybe even into the floor. beside you, lewis takes your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours. he brings your knuckles to his lips, peppering them with tender kisses.

"you want a drink? it may help."

exhaling a shaky breath, your eyes dart around, noticing a cluster of your coworkers approaching the table. yet, you feel his attention remain solely on you, paying no mind to the women starting to swarm around. his fingers massage into your hand, his shoe pressed against your heel.

"why didn't you tell us you were dating a celebrity?"

"you're dating lewis hamilton? how long have you been dating? how did you meet?"

"i can't believe you didn't share this with us!"

lewis' head tilts upward, dimples forming as he flashes them a dazzling smile, "me? a celebrity? i'm not so sure about that. you may have me mistaken for someone else."

"no," your coworker, vanessa, shakes her head, "i know exactly who you are. you're sir lewis hamilton. seven-time formula world champion."

"how did you manage to land him?" another one of your coworkers arches a brow, "because never in a million years would i have--"

"i'm with her because i love her," lewis cuts in, his kindness rapidly dissolving into a polite yet firm tone, "it shouldn't matter what she does for work, or if she's an influencer or model. fuck, she could be unemployed and i wouldn't care. i love her for who she is. that's how she 'landed me.' she's absolutely wonderful. now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to go over to the bar."

your coworkers' eyes widen, their mouths clamping shut as lewis dips his head, motioning for you to get up. his hands grip the back of your seat, tugging the chair toward him. rising to your feet, you take his hand, fighting to maintain a straight face.

once you were out of earshot, lewis clears his throat, "how about we ditch this and go out to eat? how does that sound? we could go to that one restaurant you have been begging me to take you to."

"are you sure?" you press, "i don't want to make you feel as if i dragged you all the way out here only to stay for--"

"don't worry about it love," the driver leads you toward the exit, carefully discarding his suit jacket, "here, you'll need this. it was a bit nippier than i expected out."

as he drapes the jacket around your shoulders, you can't help but feel your heart swell, bliss rippling in your chest. taking your clutch out of your grasp, he holds onto it, clicking his tongue.

"a beautiful woman like you should never have to hold her bag. let me flag down the valet, and then we can go out. just you and me, yeah?"

the corners of your lips twitch, curling into a meek smile, "i would really like that."

"then it's settled," fishing his phone out of his pocket, his eyes scan over the sign resting on the podium, dialing the number for the attendant, "just so you know, people may snap some photos while we're out. are you okay with that? is it going to bother you? if so, then we can just go back to your place and order some--"

"i think i'll manage," you can't help but giggle at his concern, "as long as you hold my hand, i'll be fine."

"oh my love," a hand drifts toward your cheek, cupping it. the pad of his thumb caresses your cheekbone, the driver's heart fluttering as you nuzzle into his palm.

"your celebrity boyfriend loves you very much. you know that?"

"i do," you nod, "and i love my celebrity boyfriend. oh so much."

lewis leans in, his lips nearly on yours. his eyes lock with yours, his nose studs glinting as your head instinctively tilts back, anticipating what was to come next. he catches the shimmer of stars bursting in your depths as the tip of nose brushes yours.

"i'm not sure how much longer your celebrity boyfriend can contain himself. especially when you're so fucking stunning. i can't bear it a second longer. i need you."

"then kiss me," you counter, "and if someone sees, oh well."

"oh yeah?" he taunts, "you want someone to see?"

"maybe," heat rises in your cheeks as his lips tease yours, "maybe it's time that people know lewis hamilton has a girlfriend."

a chuckle rings out, lewis bringing you closer as the valet turns around the corner, the car approaching closer and closer.

"oh my love, i think it's time the entire world knows."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[not-neverland06]

𝙲𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚝𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜

Pairing ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Arthur Morgan x fem!reader

Next Part - Hell Hath No Fury Series

A/N: my stupid poor-people photo editing app stopped working so now my cropping is all off and I'm sad. My aesthetic 😭

Summary: Something brews between you and Arthur, but as always, the camp comes first. Despite the growing tension, Arthur must leave to rescue one of the gang who'd been separated in Blackwater. Jealously brews as a loud-mouth Irishman returns to camp and sets his sights on you.

Micah’s cough echoes through the camp and you wince at the sound. “He needs to see a doctor before he gets the rest of us sick.”

Arthur shakes his head and sighs, “Caught somethin’ from the Downes fella in town.” He passes you some coffee which you take eagerly. It’s part of a strange morning ritual you’d begun with him a few weeks ago. Just after the hunting trip, you’d taken to having breakfast with him if he happened to be in camp that morning. It’s become your favorite way to start the day.

You smirk slightly and nudge his side. “You’re welcome.”

He laughs and shakes his head at you, “I’m sorry?”

“Well,” you start with a teasing tone. “If I hadn’t needed a gentlemanly escort into town for some shopping, it would have been you calling in on those loans.”

He opens his mouth to argue but it stays hanging as you see the cogs turning in his head. He snaps his jaw shut with a reluctant sigh, “Suppose you’re right.”

“I always am,” you tell him like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Arthur just laughs, passing you some bread. You hear a familiar set of footprints pacing outside the tent and roll your eyes, turning towards the entrance. 

Sure enough, Mrs. Grimshaw paces around the perimeter of Arthur’s tent like a cougar. She sniffs when she catches your eye and turns her nose to the air, wholly pretending she hasn’t been stalking you. 

“Shoo!” Arthur shouts, waving her off. 

You let out a bewildered laugh, smacking his arm. “Arthur, stop,” you hiss, but you don’t sound very stern as you giggle at Mrs. Grimshaw’s affronted look. 

“Go on,” he keeps going, pushing her further. “Get,” he snaps like he’s talking to a wild animal. Mrs. Grimshaw says something you can’t quite catch and stomps her foot once before running off. 

You press a hand over your mouth, fingers pinching your lips to try and stop yourself from laughing. Arthur looks at you for approval and you only shake your head. “Come on,” he tries, “she’s been botherin’ us all mornin’. What was I supposed to do?”

“She’s not a dog, Arthur.”

“You sure ‘bout that?” He teases and you swat at his arm again. 

You shake your head, letting out a heavy sigh. “I truly think she hates me,” you whisper, pouring yourself a little more coffee. 

“She don’t hate you,” he reassures. You tilt your head with a deadpan look and he chuckles. “Well, maybe just a little.”

You sigh and shake your head, “Just because I married rich doesn’t mean I had an easy life.”

“I know that,” he objects. 

You look up from your mug and furrow your brows. “Do you? You think I don’t see the way you look at me? You see the same softness they do. I just can’t figure out whether you like it or resent me for it.”

The playfulness of the morning is long gone. You seem to have a knack for ruining the moment. This question, though, has been haunting you for a while. Dutch is passive in his disdain for your upbringing—snide comments here and there but nothing quite so obvious. 

A few of the girls question you about the privileges of being a lady a little too long for comfort. Then, the conversation will end with one of them sniffing and saying, “Must have been a nice life. Too bad you’re stuck with us now.” 

There are always small moments like that to break the ridiculous idea you’ve got in your head, that you belong. No matter how hard you try to tell them, they don’t seem to understand that this freedom is better than anything money could have bought you. Your life hasn't been your own since the moment you were born. Sure, being on the run from the law and fighting for every penny wasn’t fun. But moments like these with Arthur would never happen if you were back at your estate. 

With the others, it’s easy enough to see their resentment. But Arthur’s better at keeping his cards close to his chest. It took a while for you both to settle into something easy like this. Most of the time you don’t spend more than half an hour together a day. You don’t have a good enough read on him to determine whether or not he holds your past against you. 

Sometimes, you think you might see just a hint of bitterness when he catches a glimpse of the smooth skin of your palms. But you never know if that’s real or something your paranoid mind has conjured up. 

Arthur swirls his mug in his hand, a bit of the coffee splashing over the edge as it does. You squirm uncomfortably in your spot beside him. The sun has begun to heat up the canvas tent, but you know that’s not why you’re sweating. 

He gives you a gentle smile that eases some of the dread building up in your chest. “I don’t care either way. And you shouldn't give a damn what the rest of these fools think. It’s what you’ve done with your life, with your money, that matters.”

You chuckle and shake your head, “You mean my father's money, and then my husband’s money. It was never mine. That’s why I care what they think. I’m dealing with their judgments every damn day and they know nothing about the truth of it all. I was a commodity, practically cattle to those men.”

Arthur’s brows furrow in that familiar way they do whenever you talk about the men of your old life. It doesn’t bother you to talk about them because you’re used to it and they’re gone. But you know it makes Arthur angry to think about it. 

You’ve grown comfortable with each other, but it’s still a cold shock when he casually touches you. You glance down, eyes wide, as you see his palm covering your own. You look back up with a soft smile. “You’re smart, Arthur. Smarter than half the people here give you credit for. And far kinder than anyone I’ve ever met. " Your heart kicks up a beat when you see the way he refuses to meet your eye. 

You’ll compliment him a million times a day if only to get him to start believing you. And maybe so you can keep watching that pink flush on his cheeks. 

“That’s enough of that,” his voice is gruff with something you can’t quite name. Having enough sense to know when to stop you hold your hands up in surrender. 

“Only saying the truth,” but you never can seem to stop yourself from pushing just a little bit further. Arthur shoots you a sharp look and you bite your lip to keep from laughing at him. You can see him start to wind up and prepare yourself for the brief scolding you’re about to receive. Once he’s done with that, maybe you’ll do what you’ve wanted for so long and ask him to accompany you to Strawberry. 

You’ve been trying to work up the nerve as your last two outings haven’t gone wonderfully. You’re hoping a redo might help the both of you grow just a little closer. Besides, being away from camp seems to be beneficial to you both. 

Approaching footsteps bring your conversation to an awkward halt. They’re not the heavy foot of Mrs. Grimshaw. This is someone else, someone much more welcome. You turn and smile at Charles as he hovers at the entrance of Arthur’s tent. Arthur scoffs and mutters something under his breath that you don’t quite make out, but it makes Charles grin. 

Charles gives you a brief nod but his intentions are meant for Arthur. “Whaddya want?” Arthur snaps impatiently. 

“Trelawney came back,” Charles answers shortly and your face pinches in confusion. Trelawney? You roll the name around in your mind but you don’t think you’ve ever heard anyone in camp mention him. 

Arthur’s head perks up, the frown on his face softening just ever so slightly, but it's replaced by something more bitter. Curiosity or nosiness, you’re not sure, but rather than give in to the rules of common decency you don’t leave them to finish their conversation alone.  

You try to lean back, pretending you’re not there so they’ll keep talking. “The hell did he want?” Arthur barks, tone still rudely short. You wonder what happened between him and Charles, they seemed to get along well enough a few weeks ago. 

Charles's gaze darts briefly to you but he continues, “He’s got news about Sean. Says he knows where to find him.” Now, that name you know, if only through vague mentions. You know Karen does her damndest to keep a mention of Sean out of everyone’s mouths. And that he made it out of Blackwater alive but got separated from the rest of the gang. Other than that, you don’t know much about him. 

Arthur gets to his feet and Charles backs away a few paces, leaving the two of you relatively alone again. Arthur looks down at you, something like disappointment on his face. “You need to go,” you assume before he can say anything. 

He nods and you give him an expectant smile, “Then you better get moving, cowboy. I’ll be here when you get back.” He lingers for a moment like there’s more he wants to say. But your mornings together have always been short, you can’t imagine why that would have changed today.

He sucks in a sharp breath before nodding and heading towards Charles. You watch him go, your plans for the day being tucked away. You’ll ask him to town another time. As long as it’s anywhere but Valentine. 

A prissy throat clears behind you and your head sinks between your shoulders with a heavy sigh. “Time to get movin’,” Mrs. Grimshaw commands, with far too much glee in her voice. 

You’re sitting on an overturned bucket, running someone’s pants across the washboard. You hate doing this, especially in the brisk of the early morning. Your fingers have already pruned up from the frigid water and you can barely feel them anymore. 

Your gaze drifts to your right, where the heaping pile of laundry lies, and you consider running off with Lady. You know whatever other chores Mrs. Grimshaw would come up with in retaliation would be a million times worse, but it almost seems worth it at this point. 

You dismiss the idea, deciding to honor the unspoken rule of ladies staying in camp, and continue scrubbing. You think this might be Arthur’s blue shirt. You notice a few fraying edges and holes and make a note to fix them up for him once it’s dry. You only hope you don’t stumble across Uncle’s clothes while you’re doing this. That man has got stains in places that make you want to throw them in the fire, rather than wash them. 

“Never gonna get used to a sight like this,” Sadie calls out as she walks up behind you. She kicks a crate over and throws herself down beside you. 

“You will soon enough,” you let out a bitter chuckle and shake your head, “Mrs. Grimshaw’s got some vendetta against me.”

Sadie shrugs and picks at some dirt under her nails. The sun seems to crest just perfectly over her head, almost making her blonde hair glow. She seems to be getting better. She’s put some space between her and the O’Driscolls and has found a place in camp just a little easier than you. 

Still, you know she’s struggling. She wants the freedom that your friendship with Arthur and Charles has granted you. You know she’s feeling cooped up here at camp. You’ll have to invite her for a ride sometime and see if that will help ease some of her anxiety. 

“Nah, it’s not just you. That old hag hates me too. She thinks I’ve got ideas above my station.” You and Sadie turn, glaring at the back of Mrs. Grimshaw who is fussing at Lenny. You shake your head with a huff of laughter and turn back to the laundry in hand. 

“I miss Jake,” Sadie suddenly blurts out. You freeze, hand still partially submerged in water as you debate how to approach this. Sadie’s always preferred the blunt way of going about life. You don’t think she wants simpering sympathy right now. 

“Which parts of him do you miss?” You ask, trying to keep your tone light as you toss the shirt into the basket beside you. 

“The non-controlling parts.” Sadie nudges your side with a laugh, “Relax, I’m not gonna start cryin’ on ya. I just miss runnin’ my own house, not being bossed around by a son of a bitch like that,” she says, motioning vaguely towards Mrs. Grimshaw. 

“She’s not much better than my husband was,” you grouse, trying to drown out the woman’s voice. 

“Ooh,” Sadie groans, tone laced with long-held resentment. “Forgive me for sayin’ it, but he was a real pain in my ass.”

You can’t help the grin that curls at your lips as you straighten up, momentarily abandoning the laundry. “You’re not my employee anymore, Sadie. Say whatever you want.”

“Right,” she shrugs, “He was a real bastard and I hope he became wolf meat.” Your lips pull back into something resembling a smile, but it's not fully there. You imagine the blood of your husband on your hands and it doesn’t fill you with the usually stifling nausea. Instead, it’s like a distant ache. You’re either growing numb to it or finally accepting that you’ve done the world a favor. 

You suck in a deep breath and nod, “I hope the same.” Sadie lingers for a little while longer, not helping with the clothes, but keeping you company. You don’t talk about anything of much substance. Mainly her irritations with everyone in camp and you echoing the sentiment. She doesn’t like Pearson always trying to force her to cook with him and you hate being his taste tester. It doesn’t matter how much seasoning he adds, he doesn’t know how to make even half-decent stew. 

When Sadie eventually leaves to finish her chores and you’re left all alone with your thoughts, you realize just how painfully slow the day passes by. You almost find yourself dragging the laundry out just to provide you some distraction from waiting for Arthur to come back. 

You’ve both been lingering on the edge of something. You need to see if it’s all in your head or if there might actually be hope for the both of you yet. 

You glare down at the basket of laundry at your feet and let out a heavy sigh. You reach for another shirt and begin scrubbing, keeping a careful eye on the camp’s entrance. 

It’s not until the sky is illuminated with glowing swirls of orange and pink that Arthur and the others come riding back into camp. You’d run out of chores a long while ago and had just been restlessly pacing since then. Every time you so much as approached Lady someone would come by and distract you with some meaningless task. 

You’d been sitting in the tent for the past hour, barely reading a book as you pray time moved faster. You stand now, hearing the cheers and whistles of the others. You move around the canvas, smiling when you see Arthur leading the men back into camp. 

There’s a man on the back of Diablo, a loud-mouthed redhead that you’ve never seen before. You can only assume this is the infamous Sean they’d been after. Judging by the look on Arthur’s face, you imagine he’s been running his mouth the entire time since they rescued him. 

He looks about ready to put a bullet in the young man as he drives him into camp. You see the others all taking notice of their return, Dutch being the loudest of them all. “Sean MacGuire!” He approaches Arthur’s horse, giving the boy a hand down and grinning widely. “Welcome back, son!”

His thick Irish accent catches you off guard, “Oh, ‘appy to be back, Dutch! ‘appy to be back,” he responds eagerly, a large smile on his face.  

You hesitate by the fire, waiting for Dutch to finish before you go darting off towards Arthur. “I do think a return like this requires a celebration!” Dutch calls out to the rest of the gang. They whistle and cheer for him, Bill already rushing off to break out the alcohol. The gleefulness of the moment catches up to you, it eases away some of the anxiety balling up in your gut and you find yourself cheering along with the others. 

Dutch keeps Sean tucked under his arm and begins to parade him through camp. You know this is a win for all of them. Even if someone here hadn’t liked Sean, getting one over on some bounty hunters is always a morale booster. Whatever your opinions on Dutch may be, you have to admit that he knows how to lead his people. 

Even if you happen to think manipulate is a better word for what he does. 

You watch Sean interact with everyone in camp, drawn into the boisterous energy he wraps himself in. It’s clear some of them are already beginning to find him a little annoying. But even his smart comments can’t seem to put a damper on the spirits of the night. 

Your mouth ticks up slightly when you see Lenny slug him in the shoulder, yelling at him for letting himself get caught. You divert your attention away from the interaction, looking for Arthur. You feel a little bit of the giddiness give way to disappointment when you realize you’ve lost sight of him. 

He’s no longer by the horses, Diablo having been hitched long enough to already start grazing the grass. You peer around the women’s tent and then take a few steps towards Arthur’s but he’s nowhere to be found. 

Just as soon as you let yourself be disappointed by this, you also chastise yourself for becoming so infatuated. You’ve always had a bad habit of getting in your head and boosting your hopes up over something mundane. You’ve only just begun forming a friendship with the man and already you’re starting to fret over him. You’re not a schoolgirl anymore, you’ll have to grow out of this at some point. 

You rub a tired hand over your face and suck in a deep breath. The aromas of camp rush over you in a wave. You can still smell the remnants of burnt morning coffee amidst the ever-present scent of the campfire and the fragrance of laundry that lingers on your hands. You can no longer tell if the mingling of odors comforts or irritates you. 

You look up to the shining stars above and pray for a semblance of sense. Wrapping your shawl tighter around your shoulders you resolve to get over this infatuation with Arthur and just enjoy the night. If anything is meant to happen, it will do so naturally. 

Dutch walks towards you as you begin to head towards the domino table. You force yourself to stop when you see the expectant look on his face. Sean trails along behind him now, already seeming to have found his way into some of the liquor. 

 “Mrs. Rowe!” Dutch calls out loudly, you give him a polite smile and he motions towards Sean. “I don’t believe you’ve met my good friend, Sean MacGuire. Mouthiest gunman in the west,” he adds with a smarmy grin.

You shake your head and hold your hand out to the boy. “Can’t say I’ve had the pleasure. And please, no need to be so formal.” You give him your name, and he perks up. Stumbling forward and attempting to shake the drunkenness off, he turns your palm and kisses the back of your hand instead of shaking it. 

You can’t help but laugh a little at his performance. Molly suddenly calls for Dutch across camp and the three of you turn to face her. “Dutch, over here for a moment!” She waves him forward and Dutch lets out a long-suffering sigh with an easy smile. 

“Duty calls, I believe the two of you can entertain each other for a little while.” He turns towards Molly, arms wide as he calls out, “Now, Miss O’Shea, what ever can I do for you?”

Sean quickly snags your attention again and you realize that he’s yet to let go of your hand. “Not a missus, eh?” He asks, his eyebrows waggling with what his drunken mind must think is seductiveness. 

You stifle a giggle and shake your head no. “‘Fraid not. He’s not been gone long, but I’m happier for it.”

“Oh, and so am I, fair lady.” You shake your head with amusement. He’s nearly charming with all of his limitless swagger. “Now, I’ve just been cooped up in a camp with about fifty men with mugs nearly as ugly as these,” he motions towards the gang and you let out another unbidden laugh. “Would you care to dance with me?”

Your brows furrow, a disbelieving smile on your face. Leaning in, as though you’re sharing a secret, you tell him, “There’s no music.”

He pulls a little bit back from you, meeting your eyes as your breaths mingle with proximity. “Are you sure?” He asks, a mischievous look on his face. 

You find yourself frowning in confusion, and then, almost as though they had planned it, Dutch puts a record on. It’s scratchy on his worn player, but the music fills the camp as he leads Molly into a sway. 

Your lips part in astonishment and you forget for a moment just how close the two of you are. If anyone else saw, they’d think you were going to kiss. “How did you know he was going to do that?”

He waves you off and leans back. “Magician can’t reveal and all that,” he dismisses. “Now, a dance?”

You’re charmed by him, as much as you hate to admit it. Perhaps he doesn’t have quite the same effect on you as Arthur. But he’s handsome in his own way. Besides, who are you to deny a magic man a dance?

You let him lead you towards the fire and he draws you close. You’re surprised when his hand stays firmly on your waist and he keeps a nearly respectable distance between you both. You’re still what modern society would call a scandal, but this is nothing for a gang of outlaws. 

“I’m sure I’ve never met you before. Where did they find you?” Sean spins you out and then twirls you back into his arms with a flourish that makes you breathless. You almost ask him where he learned to dance before you remember to answer his question. 

“Up in the mountains. Some O’Driscolls came through, killed my friend’s husband, and kept us in a cellar.” You’re no longer surprised how easy it is for you to admit something like that. You’ve become desensitized to situations like your own the longer you’ve been in camp. 

“O’Driscolls,” Sean’s face twists up with distaste and he shakes his head. “Nasty business.”

You scoff, “You’re telling me.” Sean’s gaze drifts behind you and the little color on his pale skin drains. It makes the freckles speckling his cheeks stand out remarkably. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Cutting in, MacGuire,” a rough voice calls out from behind you. Your feet still from where they’d been following Sean’s lead and you risk a glance over your shoulder. Arthur paints a fearsome portrait against the night sky. Impassioned by the sight of him, with the brim of his hat tipped low and the fire casting shadows across him, you hastily drop Sean’s hands and step back from him.  “I’d go find your lady if I were you,” Arthur instructs Sean.

Confusion swirls through you before you spot a very angry, very drunk Karen walking past. “Rotten Irish bastard,” she mutters under her breath, shooting both you and Sean a nasty look. Sean chases, taking quick steps towards Karen without another word to you. 

“Karen, it meant nothing, sweetheart. I only wanted a dance!” You let out a loud laugh as you watch him scramble after her. 

“He’s a damn fool,” Arthur says through a chuckle, walking closer towards you. You smile, turning around and flicking the brim of his hat up so he doesn’t seem so imposing. 

“You stole my dance partner, Mr. Morgan.” You accuse lightly, pretending to be cross with him. 

He rolls his eyes with an attitude you rarely see from him. “I did you a favor. You don’t want to get involved with Sean.”

“No,” you tell him, “of course I don’t. I was only dancing. Can’t do that anymore now, can I?”

Arthur’s mouth opens and closes before he lets out a huff. “Well, you two seemed awful close. I thought that-” he cuts himself off and you frown. 

You were only teasing him. Had he actually thought you were interested in pursuing Sean? You’d barely known the boy an hour. You pause, taking a step back and really getting a good look at Arthur. His shoulders are tense, though, not as tense as they had been a moment ago. The anger on his face, when he approached, had been real and not just the fire playing tricks. 

The pieces connect one by one and you find yourself astonished. Arthur Morgan had been jealous over you. 

That had to mean something. You couldn’t be reading into something like this. You might be a little desperate, but you weren’t a fool. You feel a flutter in your stomach and swallow down nerves. “Dance with me?” You ask, in a breathy whisper, sounding much more confident than you are. 

His eyes widen and he grimaces, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I’m no good at stuff like that.”

You bite down your smile and lean forward, taking his hand in your own. They’re rough against the smooth surface of your palms but you relish in the feeling. “Neither am I. It was the one class I never managed to get the hang of in finishing school.”

You coax him forward slowly, drawing him into you and guiding his hand a little lower on your waist than you should. He takes your other hand in his own and leads you into a slow dance. It’s barely anything more than a sway, but you still feel exhilarated. 

Even with the warning, it’s still a little surprising how awful you both are at dancing. “Even if you're stepping on my toes Arthur, I’m still much happier to be dancing with you,” you tell him, sincerity coating your throat like honey. 

He looks away from you and sighs. “Don’t have to say that.”

Your brows furrow and you tilt your head, catching his eye. “Why would I lie?” He doesn’t respond, caught off guard by the question. 

“Well,” he starts slowly, finally facing you again. He laughs a little at himself and shakes his head, “I don’t know why you would.”

“Because I wouldn’t,” you retort. “I don’t want to dance with anyone else, Arthur.” You know that sometimes he doesn’t always catch the hidden meaning, but you’re hoping he understands this time. You don't know if you could be any more brazen than you currently are.

His brows furrow and you can practically see the dots connecting when you begin to hear it. Low grunting noises, something almost like a whimper, slip out of the closed flap of John’s tent. You both pick up on it at the same time, movements slowing until you come to a complete stop. You stand, tucked into Arthur’s chest, and listen to what seems to be two people having a lot of fun. 

“Is that-”

You’re cut off by a very loud, “Sean!” You gasp, hand covering your mouth as your eyes widen. 

“Oh, Karen,” he sounds on the verge of tears and you practically have to bite your tongue to not laugh. You bury your face in Arthur’s chest, feeling it shake as he lets out a loud chuckle. “I’ve missed you so much!” You hear him begin to cry and force yourself to turn away before they hear you both laughing at them. 

“Oh,” Arthur’s face screws up with disgust but he’s still laughing. “That’s just awful. Come on,” he keeps your hand in his, tucking you under his arm as he leads you away from the tent. He snags a bottle of something off a nearby crate as he guides you toward the trees bordering the camp. 

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere we don’t have to listen to that,” he mutters, nodding back toward the sinful tent. You clench your eyes shut, trying not to picture what the two of them are doing. 

You feel your feet sink a little, mud lifting around the edges of your boot. You reach to lift your skirts, out of instinct, before you remember you’ve got your new pants on. It makes you smile a little, living without the weight of your old clothes. 

“Arthur,” you stumble into his back as you trip over a branch and he quickly rights you. “Were you jealous?” You don't give much lead-up, hoping to shock the truth out of him. 

He pauses and turns back to look at you. You smile a little impishly at him and he lets out a long-suffering sigh. “This way, woman,” he grumbles, tugging you towards a thinner patch of trees. You find yourself squeezing his hand absentmindedly, liking the comfort of holding it.

The moon illuminates your path forward and you feel your heart jump up to your throat. He’s led you to a small cliff face, a spot just large enough for the both of you, that feels incredibly intimate. The moon almost creates a halo around the area, lighting it up more than anywhere else in the forest. 

Arthur lets go of you to tug off his coat. He places it on the ground and motions for you to sit. So used to fending for yourself and always being the last priority, something as simple as that has your heart skipping. “You didn’t answer my question,” you tell him as you take a seat. 

He sits beside you, knee brushing against your thigh as he pops open the bottle of whiskey he’d swiped. He twirls it around in his hand for a moment before he places it down beside himself. Your stomach dips when he turns towards you, eyes intensely meeting your eyes. 

You almost want to look away, the blue of them too intense to face. There’s honesty in his gaze and an intention you can’t recognize that forms a lump in your throat. “Yes. I was.”

Your lips twitch and you shake your head, slightly bewildered by how easily he admitted that. “I’m jealous every day I don’t get to call you mine,” he adds.

You used to be someone else’s. First, you were your father’s toy and then your husband's. When they called you theirs it was always with the intention of owning and using you. But it feels different with Arthur. It feels like handing him your bruised heart and knowing he’ll keep it safe. He says those words, and finally, you know that someone other than yourself is looking out for you. 

His hand comes up, gently brushing some hair off your cheek and drifting down to the nape of your neck. You lean forward, following his guidance, as his head dips down. Your lips meet, and the warmth emanating from him makes you realize this is truly happening. 

Cold from the stone below you seeps through his jacket and chills your legs. The feeling only further intensifies the startling realization that this is real. This isn’t one of your silly little fantasies. He’s kissing you and you aren’t doing anything.  

You sit before him, stiff as a stone, not kissing him back or showing him any sign you’re enjoying this. He picks up on that and you can already taste the apology on his lips as he begins to pull back from you. So you dart forward, clumsily pushing your lips up against his before you completely ruin your chance. 

He laughs against your eager lips, but you feel his relief in the way his shoulders slump and he relaxes back into you. One of his hands drifts down towards your waist, tugging you slightly closer, and you could melt into the feeling of him holding you. 

He tightens his hold around you, drawing you back ever so slightly, his forehead resting against yours. “You sure you want to get involved with me? It ain’t gonna be easy.”

Unwilling to part for so long, you close the distance between the both of you and finally, let yourself give in to the sensations of this moment. His palm drifts into your hair and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. 

Perhaps due to his gruff outlaw exterior, you’d had the misguided notion that he wouldn’t be a good kisser. Men like himself seem like the type not to enjoy something as simple as a kiss. They’re used to just getting right to the point. You’re happy to discover just how wrong you were. 

Those romance books Mary-Beth devours always describe something fleeting. There’s always fireworks going off as the two people you’ve been reading about finally kiss. This isn’t like that, there isn’t a spark that reignites a cold heart. You feel safe and comforted, like you’re finally coming home. This feels real, not like some passionate moment shared between two people that will never last.

Arthur pulls back, reluctantly, and you both catch your breath. “We should probably head back soon,” he whispers, eyes trained on your lips.

You nod your head, “Probably.” Neither of you goes to move, instead you tighten your hold on one another, basking in the moment of finally having what you’ve been coveting for so long.

Next Part end. — I do not own the characters or the game Red Dead Redemption 1/2, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2025. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

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