#i didnt wanna give the sense that i stopped caring

[letmesleepy]

Hey Sleepy I know about Otto but what about Caroline? I've seen u tag oc tag stuff as Caroline. Who are they?

Thats Carolina ^_^ let me talk about her miserable life under the cut. Its under a cut cuz uhhhhh sensitive topics below. Also long as hell

Carolina is my fallout oc/sona/its complicated. We'll say shes an oc cuz shes only really a sona when im playin the games and when thats happening the pronouns are they/them but since its just me playing the they/themming is only in the head.

Shes in 3/nv/4 and dear god she goes through so much trauma. Shes a mute chick w huge anger issues who tries not to show it by constantly being @_@ about life. She had a tumor in her throat when she was 1 yr old, which if it wasnt removed would have traveled to her brain, if it didnt close off her ability to breathe first. She had to have surgery to have it removed, taking her vocal cords in the process.

She has a huge love for repairing tech such as computers and bots, and when she was in the vault she dreamed of being the person to maintain the water chip. But as you know f3 story she never got the chance, only ever being a pipboy repairmen (which she did enjoy but due to how isolated she was she wanted water chip job more so she could be more important and liked). She has an incredible memory too ✌.

Cuz of her mutism she had like almost no friends aside from amata + a few adults, only furthering her @_@ ing and not showing her emotions. This leads to FURTHER isolating cuz everyone just thinks shes weird. She struggles a lot w her self image due to this isolation and kids pickin on her for being mute + tall, leading to struggles w anorexia. Throughout the 10 yrs old f3 to f4 she tries to recover from this, but cuz the apocalyptic world is harsh she doesnt get well off at first, becoming an alcoholic alongside it, due to in f4 shes brainwashed/reprogrammed (cyborg from nv dlc) into believing shes a 200 yr old mom searching for her son. Not only brainwashed but had surgery to look like the original nora. This only worsens her self image problems when she realizes the truth. The reason shes brainwashed is cuz Father believes shes incredible, and due to her work in washington/vegas, believing she should take his place. Originally he thought she was a true vault dweller, having no radiation. By the time he found out she wasnt, it was too late. But he persisted anyway, still considering her determination and the charisma she would gain from nora to make her an excellent leader.

When she realizes shes actually NOT nora, and that they gave her a dead womans voice, thoughts, face, this leads to her almost going over the deep end, for a moment considering horrible things from making her anorexia worse for a sense of control to simply finding a hole to die in. But in the end she decides instead to combine her personality w noras, since nora is now stuck inside her. Nora is a "program" of sorts, existing in the cybernetic part of carolinas brain. She was scanned from the original noras head, who died during the capturing of shawn. Due to her being a corpse there were a lot of memories gone, so a lot was filled in or simply left blank. Shes a ghost of herself but she doesnt wanna die again, so she stays alive through carolina, the two becoming a new one. Carolina is now more vulnerable, with new thoughts, but in a way she finds a peace in it, feeling less lonely even if the company isnt entirely true. They ofc arent totally harmonious, at times being completely separate mentally, but they over time find this to be a good thing, always seeing things in a new way, coming up with better ways to solve things. Her only other constant company is f3 dogmeat, who stays by her side ever since they met. But that changes when she has to take care of shawn, who believes shes his bio mother. Now she has more company with him involved.

Originally carolina doesnt wanna take care of him, being very traumatized by what happened w Father, but in the end he wins her over, so they travel together. Ofc carolina tells shawn the truth, that shes not his mom. But he in the end decides it doesnt matter, that shes really cool and he wants her to be his mom. With this relief, she changes her face back as much as she can, and removes noras voice from her. Because of their new relationship, carolina opens up more, having a healthier lifestyle to set a good example, and making promises to not be as reckless in battle, cuz he worries about her :(. Over time she starts expressing herself more, still ofc sometimes @_@ but thats cuz she has apocalyptic autism and Is Just Like That. But overall she learns to laugh and actually be happy cuz she has someone to love again, and this time she doesnt let ppl step over her. As she recovers and loves, she gains more weight and becomes fat and strong ^-^ leading to her passion of engineering being more easy due to having more energy.... Not to mention the flustering attention she gets cuz shes a beefy woman in the apocalypse.

Tldr: i take yer gruff depressed middle aged man w daughter and raise you: gruff depressed middle aged woman w son. + cute doggy :)

[arolesbianism]

Shakes the bars of my cage I need to draw soooo bad I need to draw I need to draw let me draw I have to draw I need to draw I must draw (<- has been too sick to be on electronics much and doesn't like doing traditional art)

[hannieehaee]

Hiii i love your writing sm that is always look forward to anything you write . Pls remember to take care of yourself .

Imagine chan having a younger s/o , doting on her , taking care of her protecting her 😭😭😭😭 it would be so cute

them having a younger s/o

content: small age gap between reader and member, established relationship, etc.

wc: 1056

a/n: thank u hehe u take care too!! <3 also i wrote this assuming the age gap is nothing too crazy!! just something like 3-5 year difference for hyung line and 2-3 year difference for maknae line c:

masterlist

seungcheol -

he was MADE to dote on and care for a younger s/o. his credit card would literally be your own. his home would be yours. would treat you akin to kkuma in the sense that he'd coo at you incessantly any time he was away from you for more than a few hours and would love dressing you up in cute outfits to match his own (in a low-key, fashionable way, of course). he'd adore a younger s/o because he'd feel like he could really provide for you with both his wealth and wisdom.

jeonghan -

being the one of the elders of the group and having a younger sister, he's literally been trained for a younger s/o. im completely convinced he'd adoooore a younger s/o that he could dote on and baby in every possible instance. he'd use his preschool teacher voice on you all the time and coo at you so much that you'd literally have to beg him to stop. at some point he'd start doing it just to annoy you lmao.

joshua -

tbh i feel like he would be kinda indifferent about you being younger than him, but would still acknowledge it at times. would coo at you and baby you in exaggerated manners to tease you over being younger than him. but! this would just be a veiled way for him to take care of you.

jun -

how is he supposed to baby you when he's the embodiment of baby himself? however, the creator of the aegyo cat set would still manage to coo at you and attack you with constant aegyo to show his affections towards you. all in all, though, i think he would be a lil indifferent about you being younger than him. maybe it'd inspire a little extra protectiveness from him, making him always keep you close to him in public spaces and use his massive shoulders to shield you from crowds or any danger.

soonyoung -

he'd baby you at times but for the most part would be pretty indifferent about being older than you. however! he would let his childish/immature side come out more often while around you, reasoning that you brought out his more youthful side. would probably match your energy at all times. he'd 100% use the 'im older than you' card to try and win arguments/disputes (it wouldnt work).

wonwoo -

absolutely endeared by you!!! have you seen the way he looks at chan? if you were around chan's age, he'd give you the chan treatment but a thousand times over. would cackle at any joke you made, always keep his adoring gaze on you, bring you snacks even when you didnt ask for them, make space for you on his lap whenever he played games or watched movies. you'd be his baby.

jihoon -

he'd try to hold back for a while, but he'd eventually break and feel an instinctive need to take care of you in a way he would a younger member. even if you were a very independent and self-reliant person, he would still take care of you in his own low-key way. would make sure you always had all your meals, make space for you in his studio and provide you entertainment so you could accompany him in there in the long hours of the night. he'd feel a special type of love for you knowing he could dote on you so freely.

seokmin -

he'd be obsessed with you!!!! would baby you constantly and take care of you in every way imaginable. youd also kinda activate his cuteness aggression without him realizing. he'd wanna be the one and only man to protect you and become a rock for you to rely on. would feel happy and proud to be a person you trusted and someone you could look to whenever you needed.

mingyu -

yet another member who would go insane over being older than you and use it as an excuse to baby you at any given opportunity. would treat you like loyalty and would act as if it was a crime if you ever did mundane stuff on your own instead of allowing him to do it for you. walking to the other side of the room? why when he can just piggy back you there!! packing your own lunch in the morning? nope! he's cooking you a whole meal!

minghao -

ive always felt like he'd go for someone younger just for the traditional aspect of it (idk i have no basis for this belief lmao just a hunch). he'd enjoy playing the role of the dependable boyfriend with a younger s/o to provide for and dote on. it'd just bring him a special type of satisfaction to know that you could look to him as a reliable source of comfort. would be the ideal boyfriend and take care of all your expenses and all your emotional needs.

seungkwan -

he'd be so damn overbearing in the way he took care of you im ngl. would keep tabs on your meals to make sure you had all your meals every day, would push vitamins on you, and just have huge concern for your health overall. he'd also feel insane cuteness aggression for you at the most random times, becoming overly affectionate and expressing how cute he thought you were (even if your age gap was teeny tiny).

vernon -

gives me the vibe that he wouldnt really care if you were older or younger. however, seeing the way he dotes on his little sister and gets along with her, i think he'd be similar with a younger s/o. wouldnt really bring up your age difference much but would still use it as the butt of jokes or use it as an excuse to take care of you at times in which he just felt a little extra affectionate towards you.

chan -

as the youngest, he'd love the idea of him being able to baby someone for once (ik he has a younger brother ok). would use the 'im older than you' line to death and be so fucking annoying about it. however, he would also feel satisfied knowing he was a dependable figure in your life who could take care of you in the same ways his members always took care of him.

[xhopelesslyromanticx]

Selfish - Lando Norris x Reader (ft. Oscar Piastri)

Part 2

Masterlist

Part 1 is here. You‘ll have to read it for it to make sense.

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood, alcohol, s*xual indications

summary: Oscar is trying to come to terms with Lando and your past. Well, in Landos opinion he is trying to cut him out so you can move on with your realitionship. But what happens when old things get stirred up and secrets get revealed? Will Lando really give up?

Oscar wasn’t a guy that dealed with his problems with violence. It just wasn’t his character. He didn’t think it was cool. He didn’t think it was manly. He mostly found it embarrassing. He rarely ever got angry. He was composed and that’s what you liked about him. So it embarrassed him to lose control. Especially in front of you. The young driver didn’t want to come of like the bad guy.

Of course you had expected some sort of reaction when he walked into Lando kissing you. Well it wasn’t just a kiss, the Brit was basically feeling you up. Anyone would have been mad. Anyone would have possibly yelled or screamed. You hadn’t expected an outcome to that extent though.

„So that’s everything?“ the Aussie asked, biting the inside of his mouth so hard he felt like he was starting to taste blood. Your response came slow. You only stared at your hands in your lap as you played with the hem of your dress. Nervously fidgeting with the material. It was short. Lando probably wouldn’t have liked it. Oscar was different, he told you you looked great. Maybe even though he was younger, he was more mature than the Brit. Or maybe Oscar was just not as insecure. But you shouldn’t compare the two. You were scared of who‘d end up loosing. He was a good guy, Oscar truly was. He was sitting here after all. Hearing you out after you kissed another guy. Kissed Lando.

„Yes.“ you whispered. You had told him. Everything. That you had kissed Lando or he had kissed you. You didn’t remember or you didn’t wanna remember. Either way you hadn’t stopped the kiss.

„You only kissed this one time since you‘ve been going out with me? Right?“ he wanted to reassure himself. He knew it probably wasn’t easy for you to tell him this. He could tell by the way you avoided his gaze. But Oscar also knew he had a right to ask. He wasn’t being overly jealous. He had seen it with his own eyes. There was no denying anything anymore.

You had avoided him all weekend. He had called you a couple of times. Apologizing for reacting the way he had. But you choose to stay away till the race was over. You didn’t wanna come inbetween the two guys. But that was possibly already to late. Rumors of bad blood on the team already circulated after the internet was plastered videos of Oscar purposely bumping into Lando and the Brit cussing him out in return. The Mclaren drivers still finishing 9th and 10th. Which was an accomplishment comparing the start of the season.

You nodded, looking up at him. Allthough it had only been one time it was still dissapointing. He looked gutted. His eyes couldn’t hide it.

„I’m sorry Oscar. I didnt wanna ruin your night or your weekend.“ you swallowed, god you sounded like a bitch „But I don’t wanna lie to you“

„You still wanna be with me?“ he interrupted you. He wanted to understand why you even came here with him in the first place. You had finally called him back after the race, asking if you could celebrate with him. Wanting to talk mostly and explain what had happened between Lando and you. But Oscar didn’t wanna know. The past was done. He didn’t care, all he knew was that your brother apparently couldn’t know and it was over. He wanted to know for certain it was done.

You looked at the Aussie. Your heart was screaming to tell him no. To call Lando and tell him you loved him still. Lando who you had also completely ignored all weekend. But you couldn’t listen to your heart. It had told you to wait for Lando all these years. You didn’t want to anymore. You were tired. Drained.

„Yes I do.“ you responded, looking at him with teary eyes. Oscar nodded as he looked you in the eyes. He knew you were being truthful. You wanted to be with him. So he planted a kiss on your forehead, not saying anything before getting out the car. You watched him walk around the Mclaren. Fans already snapping pictures from the sidewalk. Your car door opened, his hand reached for yours, you grabbed it. You stepped out as Oscar immediately grabbed you by your waist pulling you into his body before he kissed you, knowing damn well people were taking pictures. Only thing Oscar wasnt aware of. That just hours later Lando would see the pictures. And wonder. Wonder if Oscar knew. Knew everything and yet still forgave you? Did he know you had texted him hours earlier asking if he was okay and telling him you didn’t know what to do. Lando was certain; you didn’t love the Aussie. You liked him but you didn’t love him. You couldn’t. How would you?

„You never told me how you got that blue eye.“ Max enters the hallway as Lando leans against the marble wall of the dim lit alley. Dressed and ready to go out as he scrolls through the endless pictures of you and Oscar on his timeline. His thumb swiping past each them stopping, whenever the angles change. His stomach twisting at the sight. The young guy looks up at his longtime best friend. He had completely forgotten about the eye. It had been talk of the paddock all weekend.

„I bumped into a shelf.“ he had told the countless interviewers that seemingly had nothing better to ask. A fake smile plastered on his lips. The internet already changing his nickname to „Mr. Bumps into shelfs“. Little did they know Lando didn’t actually find it funny. Not when he actually wanted to tell the world the truth but knew he never could.

„Did you see?“ Lando now asksed, his voice low. Monotone. Pretending to not care. He had to know how his best friend felt about it. Max put on his jacket, furrowing his brows as he lookses at the younger guy „See what?“

Landos phone is shoved into his face. The screen so close to his eyes, he has to blink a couple times to see it. A picture. His sister and Oscar. Kissing and looking all loved dovey. It had seemingly been posted just minutes prior with the caption; new couple alert. Max raised his brows, shrugging his shoulder as he turned away and checks himself in the mirror. He had come to terms with your new realitionship. He‘d never be Oscars best friend. But he also didn’t really mind him. It could be worse, right?

„So you‘re not bothered?“ Lando asked not understanding why Max wasn’t fuming.

„Of course it‘s digusting seeing my sister making iut with some guy.“ Max stated, grabbing the housekeys. He opened the front door, stepping out into the already dark night before turning back to Lando. It could be worse. Oscar had a job and manners. He was well raised and respected you. „But he‘s alright I guess. Plus she seems happy.“

Happy? Lando watched you from afar all night long. His heart beating faster every time he saw you. His hands gripping the non-alcoholic beverage in his hand. Lando knew he was being egotistical but he couldn’t handle seeing you with him. But he also knew better than to approach you as he and his friends hung out in their own lounge at the same place you attended. Well, basically everyone was here. Some of the fellow drivers even congratulating Oscar and you. Most of them knowing you, as you had basically attended most races with your brother and Lando.

„She could at least say hello.“ Lando muttered, leaning back on the lounge couch as he took a sip of his drink. Ria next to him, who was touching up her makeup, just shrugging her shoulders in response. It was funny hearing Lando talk like this. In Rias opinion, he had his chance and he blew it. She even encouraged you to be with Oscar „She did say hello to me.“

„He‘s never gonna let me hang out with her-“ Lando stated his fear but was quickly interrupted.

„Well, you’re kind of to blame for that?“ Ria now sighed looking at her friend. Side eyeing Landos blue eye. You had told her everything. She felt kinda sorry for Lando but he had provoked Oscar. He made some poor choices yea but he never intended to lose you as a friend. And with Oscar now in the picture that was bound to happen. At least in Landos mind.

„I didn’t kiss her!“ Lando defended himself, crossing his arms as Rias just let’s out a chuckle. The loud music blasting through the speakers forcing him to basically yell. Lando may have acted all hard and no feelings but Ria knew exactly he couldn’t resist you. He never had been able to. That’s why you two ended up in eachothers arms time after time. It was a toxic cycle. Neither one of you was benefiting from it.

„She begs to differ.“ Ria stated, looking at you standing next to Oscar who’s arm hadn’t left your waist all night. The Aussie looked at you so mesmerized it made Rias heart flutter. Lando just felt nauseous and told himself you eventually get the ick from the guy clearly being head over heels for you. Oscar also made sure to send a glance Landos way every so often. As if to tell him, he better stay back.

„She kissed me back.“ Lando now argues, completely throwing his first statement over the hill. He knew he had initiated it. But you had clearly wanted it, plus you had gladly returned it. Which spoke on it’s own. Lando wasn’t scared if Oscar. His stares didn’t intimidate him. He just knew better than to cause a scene. Especially in front of Max.

„Of course.“ Ria rolled her eyes, done arguing with the stubborn Brit.

„Then why is she here with him?“ Lando asked, smashing his drink onto the table in front of him resulting in a loud thud causing his friends to look at him weirdly. He awkwardly laughed it off, not wanting anyone to know what was going on. Lando could fool most of them. But not Max. Max knew something was wrong when he saw that bruise. He knew something was wrong when Lando spent the last hour, still wearing his jacket and sitting in the corner of this club looking rather bitter.

„Lando.“ Ria sighed, placing her hands on her friends shoulder as she saw his gutted face while he watched you kiss Oscar„Maybe he‘s just what she needs right now. Okay?“

What you needed? How could you need that?

Lando watched you and Oscar basically all night. The Aussie hanging onto you like a trained puppy, kissing your cheek and shoving his tounge down your throat at any given chance. It was disgusting and totally inappropriate. Not even his parents acted like that. Lando also felt like that level of clinginess wasn’t your style at all. It was clear to Lando that Oscar was insecure. Insecure that Lando was there.

Lando ended up making out with some blonde girl, who he wouldn’t even remember the name of the next day. It was more to show Max that he was fine as the Brit had tried to ask him whats wrong all night long. The Mclaren driver couldn’t tell him that he was losing his mind. Losing his mind watching you with Oscar. The dj suddenly started playing slow songs for the couples on the dance floor. Wasn’t this supposed to be a party? When Lando heard the lyrics of Glimpse of us he knew he had to get out of there.

„I‘ll get the car.“

Lando waited outside of the already emptying nightclub. It was late and there where mostly just blackout drunk people which meant no one recognized him and he was fine to stand there and wait for his car to arrive as people strolled past him. He paced up and down, checking his phone to see he had already gotten a text from that girl he had made out with. He cursed himself for having given her his number. He didn’t even notice you at first, stumbling out the night club just holding your phone in your hand as you frantically texted someone. Eyes glued on the screen, completely ignoring the outside world.

Lando watched you from afar, no Oscar in sight. He knew better than to walk up to you. You’d just yell at him and be rude. He didn’t want any of that now. His patience close to zero. Plus he was tiree. That’s when he noticed some douchebag guys next to you, clearly checking you out. Lando shifted on his feet as they stared you up and down, making stupid comments. Lando rolled his eyes as he saw you didn’t notice to focused on your phone. God you had to be a little more careful the guy thought. But he tried to keep his cool. It worked until he heard one of them drop an absolutely disgusting comment about you.

Lando couldn’t help himself, he walked over to you. Taking off his jacket and putting it over your shoulders, trying to cover at least some part of your body. You looked up, thinking it was Oscar only to see Lando stand there. You open your mouth, wanting to take the piece of clothing off but Landos hand stops your movements.

„Shh. Dont say anything.“ he gestured to the group of men behind you „I‘m just trying to protect you.“

You swallowed now fully aware of the stares you were getting as you stared the guys down. It made you uncomfortable or even scared. You never admit but you were happy Lando was here right now.

„Thanks.“ you mumbled, crossing your arms as you took a step back to ensure some space between the two of you. Lando noticed, he knew you never did that before. Things were already changing. Your eyes checking the entrance, probably looking for Oscar.

He wished he could tell the Aussie that he had to be more careful. He couldn’t let you out here alone. Especially not dressed like this. It wasn’t that Lando felt like the dress was to blame for the occasion. Some men just had no respect no matter what a woman wore. But he was aware that it caught the attention of most guys. Including the bad ones. That’s why he‘d sometimes tell you he didn’t like certain clothes. Not to be a se*ist prick. He was just looking out for you and he always would. No matter if Oscar liked it.

The Aussie walked out the club, finally having gotten both your jackets. The line had been so long, seemingly everyone leaving the club at the same time. He was also carrying your handbag, his hands full when he spotted you stand there. Oscars expression stern when he saw Lando just next to you. You weren‘ talking though. Lando was just looking at you. But the sheer fact he even was talking to you plus the brits jacket being wrappe around your shoulder, it was enough to drive Oscar mad.

„Wanna tell me what this is?“ Oscar approached you, gesturing to the jackt around your shoulder. You were surprised, looking at him opening your mouth wanting to explain Lando was just helping you. But you couldn’t, Lando concluding he had to help you.

„I was looking out for her.“ Lando responded, crossing his arms. He knew he wasn’t in the wrong for looking out dor you. He wouldn’t ever apologize for it. He hated that tone of Oscars. He shouldn’t talk to you like this. Lando didn’t even notice how patient Oscar had been. He was to blind to see that the younger guy wasn’t the problem between the two of you. He was a good guy. He never got angry at you and always gave you a chance to explain.

„You shouldn’t let her go out like that and then leave her alone at some curb.“

Oscar couldn’t believe what Lando was saying. He was painting him once again to be some douchebag. Just like when he accused him of picking up drunk girls. Now the Aussie just knew the reasoning behind the empt and honestly laughable accusations. Lando was bloody jealous and you could see it. Also Oscar had looked out for you. l He had basically stuck to your side all night. But Oscar didn’t say anything. He had learned to stay silent when he needed to. He took the jacket of your shoulder throwing it towards Lando. He then wrapped his own one around your shoulder actually undesrtanding the point of it. You mumbling a small thanks, avoiding Landos stares.

Just as you and Oscar were about to get into his car, the Aussie opened the door for you and closed it behind you once you stepped in. He got to the drivers side but before getting in he made sure to look at Lando one last time „Just let it go Lando. Honestly.“

„Absoluetly not!“ you entered the room nervously. In your hand a paper bag filled with the most scandalous lingere you had ever seen. Ria was laying on you bed, scrolling through her phone while you walk in. She looked up at you standing there in a set of bright red lace underwear that you would have sworn off ever wearing in the past. Oh, how things change.

„Oh my god!“ Ria squealed, sitting up with her mouth hanging wide open. The brown haired woman looked you up and down, not believing the sight. She knew you were stunning but right now she saw you in a totally different light. Like if she was a guy, she‘d get onto her knees begging for that.

„Woman! You look absolutely smoking hot!“ she yelled, not caring the door was basically wide open as you just had gotten back from your bathroom. Trying on the endless option of underwear Ria had brought you from some store in London. You did have underwear but more of the simple kind. Or as Ria had called it; conservative.

Ria was helping you. You had come to your friend with a problem. It was almost so embarrassing, you couldn’t get it out „We haven’t done it yet.“

Ria hadn’t react badly. That’s what you loved about her. She never judged. Even when you had cried in her arms for Lando a million times. She always acted like ut was the first time. So you weren’t suprised that she was super understanding, telling you that it was okay and actually quite a good sign. Oscar seemingly was serious about you if he didn’t mind not having s*x right away. Ria also didn‘t ask for a reason, but she knew it was probably more you than the Aussie. Knowing men usually weren’t as complicated. So your friend tried to encourage you. Getting you new lingere in hopes to boost your confidence. To remember who you were.

„I don’t know.“ you looked at your reflection in your full body mirror „This isn’t me.“

„What do you mean?“ she jumped up standing behind you „You look like a goddess. The boy‘s gonna stutter.“

You chuckled, knowing there was some truth to that. That would actually be such an Oscar thing to do. Maybe it was difficult to be with him as he wasn’t exactly dominant himself. Oscar always wanted to make sure you were comfortable and never went further if he felt like you weren’t. It was cute in a way, but you also needed someone to lead you. That’s what you were used to.

„I just think Oscar could get the wrong picture.“ you sighed looking back at Ria „Like I‘m much more experienced.“

„Well?“ Ria furrowed her brows „You do have some experience right?“

You chewed the inside of your mouth. This was embarrassing.

„Yes.“ you stated, knowing that sounded like a lie „But like not… Not a lot.“

Ria smiled, unsure of what you were hinting at „Meaning?“

„I only ever slept with Lando.“

„What!“ Ria yelled, and you immediately covered her mouth not wanting the whole house to hear. Well only Lando was home but he was the last person that should know it. You had kept your distance from him. It was hard when you live in the same house. But you had managed by keeping yourself as busy as possible. You look at Ria as her eyes were wide open. You giggle as she mumbles against your hand „You only slept with Noriss?“

„I know it’s embarrassing.“ you sighed, crossing your arms. But the girl immediately grabbed your shoulders in a comforting manner.

„No!“ she stated, shaking her head. She actually couldn’t believe how much Lando must have meant to you. It mad her mad to know he broke your heart. He was still somehow doing it „I‘m just mad he has hold that much power over you. Like every guy would want you Y/n.“

„Maybe.“ you sighed, looking at your reflection „But I don’t want every guy.“

You tip toed your way to the bathroom, right next to your room. Just as Landos bedroom door that was right opposite yours bursts open. He was in there? You try to cover yourself up with your hand but it doesn’t work.

„F*ck.“ you mutter trying to open the bathroom door, but its to late. Lando stands there. Looking at you surprised. He looks you up and down as you stand there frozen. He can’t help but smirk. Had he heard? God you had to be bright red.

„Wow.“ Lando nodded, running his finger through his hair thats out in every direction. The brit isn’t even sure what to say. He had never seen you like this. You had always been more cute in a away. Not that daring. „You look-“

„Don’t say anything!“ you interrupted him, crossing your arms over your chest. You weren’t gonna be able to handle any immature and inappropriate comment from him right now. Lando pressed his lips together. He wouldn’t have said anything bad. But he knew he shouldn’t compliment you. He had to control himself from looking you up and down once again. So the brit just nodded taking a deep breath „I won‘t“

„Okay.“ you stated, finally turning the knob of the bathroomdoor, your back facing Lando now. A glance behind. His eyes were clearly not were they were supposed to be.

„Lando!“ you scolded the guy whos eyes had landed on your ass as soon as you turned around. Typical.

„Well, it‘s-“His eyes mer yours as he held up his hands in defense. A big grin creeping on his face. „Sorry?“

The smell of fresh pizza had filled the whole house. You had walked down the stairs, a bag of your belongings in your hand. Checking your phone, to see you still had some time before Oscar was expecting you. You had literally spent hours in the shower since Ria left. Shaving every part of your body, exfoliating and doing the most to feel fresh. Which worked. You felt beautiful that night. Like something big was gonna happen. Following the absoluetly delicious smell, you walked into the living room where there was a big kitchen. No one ever cooked in this house so you were surprised at the sight.

Lando was standing behind the kitchen counter. Wearing nothing but grey sweatpants as he was preparing what looked like some chocolate covered strawberries. A closed bottle of wine on the countertop. Two glasses?

„Expecting company?“ you asked, furrowing your brows as you leaned against the door frame. The brit looked at you. You couldn’t help but let out a giggle. His hair was white from what looked like flour and his once white shirt, splattered in tomato sauce as it was layed over the kitchen sink. Was it the girl he had made out in the night club with? God you shouldn’t care.

„No. Well, yes but she just cancelled.“ Lando shrugged his shoulders, turning up the volume of his jazz music playing in the background. He seemed happy. Happier than you had seen him in a while.He had even set the table with candles outside as the sun began to set over the ocean view.

„Wow.“ you entered the kitchen, placing your huge bag on the marble counter. You looked at Lando with a questioning look. Something was surely up. You hadn’t ever seen Lando so- So grown up? “ You re really trying to impress this girl, huh?“

Lando nodded as he licked his lips. He couldn’t see past it. The curled hair. The lipstick. The perfume. The lace of your bra peeking through your white dress.

„So are you.“

You blushed, tugging your hair behind your ear as you looked at the floor, avoiding eye contact. It’s embarassing when someone knows you’re trying hard. And Lando knew. He saw you at your worst. He knew how you looked with no makeup. He knew how you looked when you woke up. He knew how you looked when you were violently sick after partying and he was holding up your hair for you. Lando knew you were trying.

„Don’t- Not that it matters.“ Lando added wiping his hands on the kitchen towel. He hesitated before deciding he had nothing to lose anyways „I like this one better.“

You knew what he meant. The white lace of your bra, slightly peeking through your dress. You knew it was inappropriate for him to tell you this. You couldn’t react. Remembering you had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who said he respected yours and Landos friendship as long as it was just a friendshipy. You mumbled a small thanks, thanking god as you were saved by the sound of the oven beeping.

„You wanna eat? I made plenty?“ Lando asked, opening the oven door as he took out to perfectly baked pizzas. Maybe it was that you absolutely loved pizza or that you had aome spare time left anyways. Maybe it was you felt sorry for Lando as he clearly had taken time and got stood up but something inside you made you nod „Yes, why not.“

Your small hand covered the rim of your glass as a drop of wine lands on the white table cloth. Lando laughed as you shook your head in protest „No Lando! I still need to drive.“

It was already dark out. It had gotten a little cold so you were cuddled up in your blanket as you sat opposite Lando. Some pizza still left on your plate, you were absoluetly stuffed. You had had a decent amount of wine though. Lando and you spent the las hour talking. It was like it used to be. Just easy and lighthearted conversations. No force or awkwardness. He never mentioned Oscar. Never mentioned your problems. It was nice. So nice you had even told the Aussie you would be a little late. Not telling him that you were having dinner with Lando of course.

„Oh, you’re not gonna be able to drive anyway!“ he furrowed his brows, signaling the nearly empty bottle of expensive wine. You had drank too much already, it would be hours before you sobered up.

You sighed removing your hand from your glass in defeat as Lando filled your glass a pleased smirk on his face „See that‘s what im talking about.“

„I‘ll take a taxi I guess.“ you mumbled taking another sip of the beverage.

It felt good to leave your worries to the side for a moment. Especially now that it was just you and Lando. It felt like it was fine. Like you‘d never had fought. It was a good moment. When something hit you. It had been like this before. You had felt so special. Lando treated you like you were the only girl in the world and yet, tonight he would have done this all for someone else. Like none of it ever mattered. It was all fake. It wasn’t for you. It never had been. You were not special.

„Can I ask you something?“ you asked, listening to the quiet music coming from inside. Somehow you felt angry at the thought of him having done this for some twat when you never got treated right. You bit your lips, looking at Landos face through the candle light.

„Yes?“

„Do you regret it?“ you blurted out It was probably the wine talking. But you couldn’t even bother your impulsive thoughts taking over.

„Regret what?“

„Me.“

It was silent. The sound of the wind, hitting the pool water along with the piano playing inside all you could hear.

Lando placed his glass on the white table cloth. He looked at you, disappointed as he got up. The Brit grabbed his plate as he walked inside, not saying a single word.You were stunned. Offended, unwinding from your blanket as you stumbled inside your glass in your hand. God you shouldn’t drink so much.

„Why the f*ck wont you answ-“

„Why do you have to f*cking ruin it?“ he yelled back throwing his plate into the kitchen sink. You looked taken aback. How were you ruining it? He was the one that treated you like you didn’t matter.

„Ruin what Lando? You acted like I meant nothing-“

„Would I do all of this if you didn’t matter! Do you really think I do all of- F*ck!“ he yelled, his hand hitting the marble counter in anger without looking. A crushing sound. Glass splattered everywhere. He had just smashed his hand into a wine glass.

You looked stunned. Not just about what had happened. Also what Lando had just revealed.He had done this for you? Your mind was filled with endless questions. You wanted to open your mouth when you start noticing the sheer amout of blood running down his hand. Your ears ringing at the sight of it.

Without hesitation you saw a towel on the counter as you stumbled around the counter. Grabbing it you even spilled wine over your white dress before you grabbed Landos hand, pressing the cloth against the cuts in hopes to stop the bleeding. Lando took a sharp breath clearly in pain as he slightly pulled back „You’re gonna ruin it.“

„God It’s a towel Lando!“

„No! The dress!“ he argued as blood had already landed on the white material along with the splatters of wine. It looked like something straight out of a horror movie.

„Doesn’t matter. Not gonna leave you now.“ you look into his eyes. He looks, relieved? You let it go. thinking he just is in pain. It‘ quiet. The music stopped. You swear you could feel Landos pulse. His hand pressed against your stomach.

Oscar. Will have to cancel for tonight. Call you tomorrow. Sorry.

Recieved at 9:35 PM

[ninmnoi]

— Stop, you’re losing me.

mingyu x reader || angst.

summary ; trying to save an already failing relationship is a lot harder when he forgets your birthday.

(not proof read lol)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Its your birthday, you’ve never made a big deal about it tell you met him. You still remember his shocked face and loud “WHAT” when you told him you dont found your birthday a big deal, its just another day. Ever since then, he always celebrated your birthday in fun surprises and dinners. He made it so important and meaningful for you, and the big part of that is because you know he’ll be there.

So your nothing short of despair when its past 5pm and he hasnt once messaged you. It’d be another thing if he just didnt message happy birthday, you wouldve been okay with goodmoring.

You sigh putting your phone down, bitting your lip as your eyes water. It shouldnt be this serious, you’ve never even cared about your birthday before, so why dose it hurt so bad now?

Mingyu

That god damn Mingyu.

He used to be such a soft spoken soul, aiding to your needs as you do with him, those first few years of your relationship. He confessed to you in your own backward, he put his effort and time into it. You can even smell the flowers that lead to Mingyu, see the lights that brightened his soft smile, that swift hair and tall figure standing nervously fiddling with the bouquet in his hands. And who could forget the blush that tainted his face and ears, tears threatening to jump out after you said “yes.”

Now, your even lucky if he stays with you a whole day. Its always this or that driving him away. When he left your sisters engagement dinner because a friend of his needed help moving in, or when he canceled a date because he forgot a “really super duper important project” as he said. The nights he wouldnt call, the empty king bed. The second toothbrush that hasnt been moved in 2 weeks.

It drove you insane, but you still gave him the benefit of the doubt.

“Maybe he’s busy”

“Hes probably sleeping”

“God his phone must’ve died”

Your friends would yell at you over text, spamming you with the reality check you needed, but never could deposit. After pacing around the kitchen trying to ignore the cute cake you bought with a sad candle slowly sinking into it. You pick up your phone and call him.

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

*click!*

Did he just hang up on you..?

No, he would have to be crazy.

You call again.

Same fucking thing, even quicker just 2 rings in.

You open his contact info, trying to see where his location would put him.

“No Location Found.” You curse, what is he hiding? Your mind leads to the one scenario you’ve been dreading, infidelity. The thought of him cheating makes you wanna throw up, but sadly its a most common event. You’re just so done with everything, putting the cake away into the fridge and changing clothes. Its now 6:42pm and with the major headache you have, you simply decided to sleep it off. Hugging the build-a-bear Mingyu bought you a year back, it muffles your sobs, soaking in the tears.

It’s cold and dark when your awaken by an extra weight adjusting it’s self onto the right side of the bed. You recognize it all to well. Mingyu pulls the covers over himself, giving you a small peck on the tip of your ear.

“You’re home” you say, your drowsy and hurt voice clear.

“Yeah- im sorry im so late” he whispers to you

“There's cake in the fridge”

“Cake? For what”

You sigh, “My birthday”

You can hear his breathe hitch.

“Fuck- Baby im so sorry. I didnt mean to forget. I was just so bus-.”

You sit up.

“Busy,? from what? So busy you couldnt even text? Because clearly it wouldnt have taken as much time as hanging up on me and turning off your location did. So if ‘busy’ is some new slang for ignoring then that makes way more sense.”

“I didnt even know you called, i swear. My location should be on babe.. I” He mumbles on

“Then whos hanging up on me? Making sure i dont know where your at? Is she fun?”

Mingyu’s eyes widen

“What are you talking about?”

“Her, you know.. Is she attractive? What is it huh? Skinner than me? Or maybe blonder? Or is because you dont need to be responsible for her?

“Baby no, its none of that.” He grabs your shoulders.

“I love you, calm down”

“How can i?” You exclaim, jumping off the bed.

“You missed my birthday! I waited for you like some stupid dog! I felt so stupid.”

“I dont understand, birthdays were never that big of a deal for you”

“They werent until you made it a problem! Now look at me” you say, the tear stained face and puffy cheeks evident.

Mingyu gets up, walking over to you.

“I know ive been distant, let me make it up to you”

“Where were you tonight?”

He stays quiet for a moment, taking a deep breathe

“My friend he uh… invited me to a club” he quietly says.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Okay..?”

“Mingyu, get out”

“What?” His heart drops.

“Get out! Did the club music deafen you?? I want you gone” You yell, tears streaming down your face as you push him out. Though you have little to no affect of moving his body, it makes it all the more depressing.

“Okay…Okay..” He quietly says, grabbing his phone off the dresser. Looking down at you with remorseful eyes. His heart aching at the messed up state your in. And its because of him, god.

You slam the door behind him, locking it. You sigh before faintly walking back to your bed.

And theres your build-a-bear, ready to be hugged and to soak all your tears again.

Atleast, that comforts you.

[redrosesandcharmingsouls]

Otto manages in some way to ''delude'' himself into thinking that Alicent would have wanted to marry her best friends's father ,become his queen and have his (male) heirs ,all of it while shes an anxious teenage girl who suffers from dermatillomania .Which is weird because Alicent clearly looks uncomfortable as he asks her to see Viserys .Actually ,the second time we see her asking her if she will see him she looks angry

In this scene Otto also asks her why she's biting her nails in such an obsessive way ,and he outright says that he doesnt understand why she is doing it ,after all why would she do it if she is the most comely lady of the realm?.

Otto doesnt realize that Alicent is anxious not only because she is like that by nature ,but because he's putting her in a difficult position ,not caring about her desires at all .And he thinks ,in a pretty sexist way ,that her being the most comely lady of the realm is a enough reason to make her stop .And what is worse is that when he said that he didnt do it out of malice ,he genuinely thought it that way with no intention of harm.He was probably encouraging her to stop of her own good.

That doesnt mean he is above weaponinzing things against Alicent ,such as her sexuality and her mother's memory .And ,horrific enough ,these two things go hand in hand i the first scene we see them alone

Her sexuality is a weapon for him because Otto can strictly control it and he is the one who will decide who she can share said sexuality with .Her mother's memory is a weapon because Alicent's mother was very dear to her .He straight up tells her to wear one of her mother's dressed ,one that is very bold for that matter.

Otto's also uses her mother's memory again in ep 9 (''you look so much like your mother in certain lights''),as he is desperately trying to get back into her good graces once its clear she is the one in charge between the two.She doesnt give in this time.

A thing about Otto and Alicent's dynamic is that ,not only he genuinely believes that he is doing something good for her ,there is a specific reason on why he completely misunderstands Alicent.

And i think the line ''Our heart are one'' explains it perfectly.

Otto cant see Alicent outside her daughterhood ,he cant understand that she has a mind of her own .Thats why he gets so baffled when she speaks her mind and her plans do not align with his (ep 3 ,ep 4 ,ep 5 ,ep9).And (dont you dare think im blaming her im explaining his pov)Alicent always strives to be dutiful and sacrificial at all costs ,so obviously she obeys her dad (the man who has a lot of power over her in a fantasy medieval setting).And she also loves him and doesnt wanna disappoint him !.And so Otto gets used to the fact that ,even as a 35 adult woman with lots of experiences ,she will always obey him and their plans and ideas will always align .

Alicent is essentially a character who lost her sense of personhood because as a teenager she is put in situations where she is forced to serve and to always take care of others ,who take advantage of her dutiful persona ,and she never actually gets used to the idea that her feelings and desires matter .

And Otto is the first one who takes advantage of that ,he is the one who used her ''a piece to move across the board''.And that shapes her .

Now that doesnt mean he doesnt care for her ,he does love her in his own way.

But that doesnt change he still fails her .

[fandomstickyy]

Watching A Movie With A Rape Scene

Angst/COMFORT

18++ MDNI

------

CW: mentions of rape, NOTHING GRAPHIC, comfort from these menzes

-----

Au: I'm a bit of a film nerd so I'm always looking for indie/low budget bangers and a few movies I've seen have straight up r#pe scenes! Idk why I terrorize myself. Thought of these scenarios to ease the pain 💀. ANYWAY this post is probably super random but I've seen a lot of wild fics on here so whatever it's not too bad.

It's all fluff!! <3. Take care of yourselves !! Don't read if you're not up for it

--------

Deku

° wants to turn the movie off completely

°is super mad if the scene feels unnecessary to the plot. Really sensitive ab it. Even if it makes sense for the plot he's still mad.

°Rethinks his opinion on the entire movie

° if you don't wanna watch it anymore then he is zooming around to get snacks and put on something cute and/or comforting.

°"you want an extra blanket? We have chocolate you want chocolate??"

°"izuku please sit down, I'm okay."

°very touchy the rest of the night. Almost as if physically apolozing for you having to see that 🥺. Touches are light and needy

Bakugo

° he's REALLY uncomfortable

° I mean it goes to say they all are BUT he seems like the guy to freeze up at first

° mind RACING

°body stiff

° 0-100 instant stress. Just thinking "UGH WTF! I didn't know this shit was in the movie when I picked it out! I hope she knows i didnt know" "👀 damn do I turn it off!? Would that be weird ??" "Is she uncomfortable-"

°he'll blurt smth out about the @ssaulter being a piece of shit or smth.

°he pays a lot of attention to how your reacting to his statement. Wants to make it clear that he would NEVER think that's okay. He can be rough around the edges even sharp at times but he would never cross that boundary w you or anyone else nor does he think that's okay (goes w all of them but I feel bakugo knows he's a little more aggressive than the rest I can see him being a little insecure that anyone would possibly THINK he would sympathies with or do smth so shameful and cruel)

° if he sees you're really affected by the scene, he will pull up every reason that the movie is "actually trash" and that the filmmakers are "demented"

° would turn it off if you're really not feeling the movie anymore

Kirishima

°similar to bakugo there's an instant panic. It's that tense in their muscles, that shift in their eyes to you, to the tv, to you, to the wall.

°there's more hesitation with kirishima because he wants to protect you but doesn't want to treat you like your some kid that can't protect themself

°back and forth, back and forth, back-

°"He- hey baby I don't think your eyes need to see that, right??" Reaching to fast-forward with an awkward laugh which makes you laugh hard

°why this man can't stop stutterin ????

°you adore the way he's so caring about it but the act was just too wholesome not to laugh

°"What?? C-comeon I don't want you to see that. .. it's not beautiful.. and you should only witness things that are beautiful .." (BRUH PLEASE-)

°holds you tight the rest of the movie

°giving small kisses on your head, arms, shoulder

° when the movie is over, just wants to hold you close for a moment in silence

° maybe asks if if you're okay after seeing that even though he fastforwarded through

Denki

°instant reaction

°covers your eyes !!

° "LALALA!! how was your day baby??"

° closes his eyes too!

° he might as well just fast forward or smth, but he kinda just dived over to you before thinking ab it <3.

°yall 100% get caught up in the conversation, hands over your eyes and everything. Maybe he brings up a funny moment when yall were hanging w friends recently or the way the bathroom door looks like it has a face and he's judgey and his name is Willfred the III

°laugh until you snort when yall realize the r#pe scene is over and has BEEN over

°bored w the movie anyway and change it to Shrek

[luffyvace]

Inosuke x black male reader

The last one from the poll!! Yippie!!

I love inosuke he’s so cool 😎

your hair is….very foreign to inosuke

this is Japan so when he sees you in general he’s very confused??

and confused=confrontational (like with giyuu)

so at first there’s a chance y’all beefed (it may have been one-sided)

but to talk specifically about your hair he probably pulls and inspects it a lot

or at least tries I know you don’t let that slide

he’d ask overly blunt questions like

“what happened to your hair, is it fried?!”

your skin is also new to him

the things he be saying is atrocious but he’s genuinely curious

mans also has no social cues

which makes him come off as rude

and even if he did have social cues he’d ignore them, cuz he doesn’t care 🤷‍♀️

to sum it all up, don’t take it personally

he be munching down on your cooking tho!

so at least that 🤦‍♀️

he always asks for so much / extras

he likes spicy too

He steals tanjiro and zenitsu’s food whenever you cook

When you use AAVE he doesn’t get it

and never will

you never even bothered to teach him

he doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would get it

if you wanna say something and don’t want him to know just teach tanjiro and zenitsu AAVE

zenitsu will get it before tanjiro does-

”WHAT?? WHADDYA SAYIN?? STOP SPEAKING FUNNY!!”

”THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE IDIOT!!”

him calling you a idiot is irony I know 😂 /j

your culture/dances also don’t make sense to him..😞🙁

he might get the culture a little bit more than the dances

i mean it’s just dancing but he’ll be wondering why you have to do it a certain way

and as far as culture he’ll be like

”whaddya doin all this stuff for?! ITS POINTLESS!! lets go train instead!”

Tanjiro will get it tho!

he’ll explain his dad used to do a fire dance to ward the demons off

”is it something like that?”

close enough..🧍‍♀️

your bonnet/durag is very strange to him

He doesn’t get why you need something on your head to sleep

You explain to him that it’s to keep your pillow from soaking the oil in your hair and to keep your hairstyles neat

speaking of which when you braid your hair or if you have locs he thinks it’s very cool!

(that’s like the most positive thing I’ve wrote so far..)

Only problem is…..he wants you to do his hair like yours..

”but inosuke, your hair’s gonna fall out! And you can’t loc straight hair!”

He doesn’t wanna hear it..

he gets loud/starts yelling and you have to calm him down

your features are something he notices right off the bat but at the same time it goes right over his head

like he sees you may have a big nose/big lips but he doesn’t really pay much attention to it

like he doesn’t even think ‘everyone is different!’ so why would he pay attention to everyone’s individual features?

he’s looking for if your strong or not if anything 🤷‍♀️

im just gonna put a collage of his questions here cuz I can

”WHY CANT YOU DO MY HAIR LIKE YOURS?!”

”HOW’S YOUR HAIR SO BIG!?”

”HOW COME YOUR HAIR GOES BOING AND MINE DOESNT?!”

”what’s that black thing on your head?” (Durag)

”WHADDYA MEAN MY HAIRS’ GONNA FALL OUT?! YOURS DIDNT!!”

”is your hair a defense technique?? What does it do?”

“how’d you get your hair like that?”

”WHY DO YOU TALK LIKE THAT??”

”I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU!! SPEAK NORMAL!!”

”does your whole village look like that?? SHOW ME!”

his bluntness be getting outta hand ngl

You being a male doesn’t NOT affect inosuke whatsoever

he realized he wanted to be with you, and his mind, you were already his

(he didn’t actually ask you out 🤦‍♀️)

and yeah I pretty much have nothing else to say bc inosuke don’t care.

he’s him like that 🤷‍♀️

Inosuke’s love languages are quality time and gift giving

quality time = training

training = beating

not because he wants to beat you

but just because he doesn’t hold back at all

i hope your stronger than him

cuz if your weak……..😃

with gift giving he’ll remember the things you say you like but……it’ll just end up going..wrong..

for example! You say you need a new durag because it has a hole?

well! The great inosuke has taken the liberty to make you a new one!

like it? 😁

(oh gosh…..you don’t. What is this even made out of??)

”gee thanks..! Inosuke..”😟

”HHAHAHAHAHAH YOU BETTER BE GRATEFUL!! THE GOD OF MOUNTAINS HIMSELF MADE YOU A NEW DURAT!”😼

(yes durat 😋..he doesn’t remember the name)

zenitsu and tanjiro support you two

zenitsu was already aware of non het couples

he doesn’t see the attraction but it’s none of his business to him really

tanjiro is 100% supportive and doesn’t see it any different from a hetero couple

kind confused?? But he’s supportive :)

also commends you for taking on the rambunctious inosuke 😅

inosuke doesn’t care what anyone else has to say about your relationship

Now if they’re passive aggressive he won’t get it-

but if they directly insult either of you—your gonna have to stop him from beating them up 😜

(or join him! 😊)

all in all….your relationship is very chaotic!

you love him regardless <3

Lol inosuke so silly

Hope you enjoyed💝

[chiiyuuvv]

heyy can I request xikers reaction to you being insecure about something in yourself(anything, u name it) thank youu and I love your writing 🤍✨

• PAIRING — xikers x fem!reader

• GENRE — comfort, insecurities, yeah

• WORD COUNT — 695

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — Everything that i have written has been pulled from here so if there was something i didnt name or you'd like to read more about, i highly suggest it :)

• TAGLIST — @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101 , @nenede , @soul-is-a-strange-kid , @the-lemon-boy , @yuniniverse , @hunchan444 , @s00buwu , @cherrycolaberry

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

"I'm not going to get into that college"

First and foremost, minjae understands the pressure to get into a certain college in order to please your parents. But you wanna know whats more important? Why do you wanna go? Other than pleasing your parents. After a long talk and cuddle, you should come into a better sense of whether or not college is something you want to do. But either way, you should always believe in yourself! ♡

"I don't have many followers"

Junmin's going to take away your phone. Not because you did something bad, but so you can take a break. Go outside, turn on do not disturb and take a walk with your lovely boyfriend. Its a win-win for you, him, and his dogs. A win-win-win, technically ♡

"I don't have a good fashion sense"

As someone who likes to dress a certain way, sumin knows what its like, but he has a tip; dress for you. When you wear things that make you happy, you often forget about the others around you, and their opinions. It also helps you stand out from the crowd. Wear what you like ♡

"I cant do any better"

Grabbing both of your hands, jinsik will give them a tight squeeze in front of the mirror, making you repeat the same mantras every morning. They may feel silly at first, but over time they help you convince yourself that you are worthy of whatever you desire ♡

"I dont have many friends"

First, hyunwoo will talk about the importance of friends. Friends that help you grow to become the better you and give you a good laugh. Friends that would never judge you for their own benefit. That being said, you need to eliminate the ones that dont actually care for you. Worry less about the quantity, and more about the quality. Who cares if you only have 3 friends? As long as youre happy and growing, thats all that matters ♡

"I'm not pretty enough"

Beauty is subjective. You may be insecure about one thing, but junghoon, 9 times out of 10, finds it really stinking cute. But what he feels doesnt matter, what others think doesnt matter. How you think matters!! So stop worrying about other peoples eyes and work on your inner self. If youre happy.. youre at peace, and if youre at peace, you start to smile. And thats very attractive ♡

"I'm not that smart"

"Why dont you think youre smart?" Seeun would ask, his chin resting against his hand. "Why do you want to be smart?" These questions may be dumb but they have meaning. We all have the ability to learn something. After all, life is about experiencing things and growing from it. It all just takes time, so dont stop believing in yourself, 'kay? ♡

"No one will miss me when im gone"

Although you may feel alone and think no one would care, yujun would care. Yujun would always care. But, stop worrying about the future, you know? Live your life in the present with no regrets. Every moment spent worrying is a moment spent not really living. When you obsess over that type of stuff, you are missing out on whats in front of you. And when you miss that, you wont realize the people who love and support you ♡

"I feel overweight"

Hunter will take you to the gym, but not just so you become 'thin' and everyone will accept you, to focus on being healthy, mentally healthy too. Focus on getting in shape with a well balanced diet and exercise program. Hunter will help! ♡

"People talk behind my back"

"Do you know that for sure??" Yechan would ask, poking his fork in his salad. "Because most of the time, its just an imaginary conversation you have in your head. Stop worrying what other people think and focus on your well being. But what you said is true, expect to see me at your school." He finishes, shooting you an innocent smile ♡

[house-on-sand]

this song gives me jason vibes lowkey

dude

this IS jason vibes thank you (apparently id heard this song before but never knew the title or anything? so double thanks bc i like it a lot)

theres so much here that screams jason to me i fear this may turn into a long post 😔

"all the things you told me where they meaningless? i needed to know" <- jason and his thoughts abt like. his place in bruce's life yknow? especially with the whole good soldier thing i think. just wanting to know if he was cared about, if that stuff was real, or if it meant nothing and he really was just another soldier in batman's mission.

"told you i ain't mad, so let's stop before we crash / cause i don't wanna run anymore" <- DUDE this is so utrh coded specifically what do you mean!!! it's like his whole speech there!! nd the whole confrontation!!!! & that confrontation does signal the end of jason's running!! bc he's back in gotham and he's finally at the big finish of his plan!! this line drives me insane bc i can see it so clearly in like an edit or something. bc it works so well to me.

"cause you know i wear my heart on my sleeve" <- THIS ONE IS REAL TO ME AND REAL IF U UNDERSTAND JASON AS A CHARACTER AT ALL I SWEAR! LISTEN! YES HES CLOSED OFF AND SHIT BUT HE DOES! SHOW HOW HURT HE IS AND HOW ANGRY AND THIS JUST MAKES SENSE TO ME BC JASON IS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL PERSON N NOT EVERYONE SEES THAT! HE FEELS THINGS SO BIG! ND HES NOT ALWAYS AS GOOD AT HIDING IT AS HE THINKS! NOT EVEN RELATED REALLY BUT IT REMINDS ME THAT JASON IS AN ANGRY CRIER!!! IVE GOT SO MANY THOUGHTS I CANT PUT INTO WORDS ABT JASON TODD AND EMOTIONS!

"you'd be praying on my downfall with each and every phone call / just to see if i'd stay away / you and i could never break this never-ending focus of seeing who could keep playing games" <- very rhato 2016 to me. specifically like around #25 & the annual n stuff. idk if anyone else will see the vision or if it's just smth in my head that makes sense but yknow. bc rhato #25 is the big batman and red hood fight that ends with jason leaving gotham with roy and at the time he's pretty much Banned from gotham bc he'd broken the rules (not really) and batman made it clear that if he did that there'd be no more red hood, jason wouldn't be allowed to do as he wished anymore and all that shit. the whole stay away part is very much abt how jason is sort of Banned and stays out of gotham for awhile. idk can't articulate this one as well

"you lie through your teeth, feels so incomplete / wait for your story to take you too deep / and i call out your name" <- THE FIRST PART IS THE VICTIM BLAMING NARRATIVE AROUND JASON’S DEATH!!! THAT EVEN JAY WILL ADD ONTO BC NO ONE BLAMES JASON TODD FOR HIS DEATH MORE THAN HE DOES!!! U CANT CHANGE MY MIND!! BUT SERIOUSLY EVEN FROM A META POINT ITS ABT HOW EVERYONE ACTS LIKE ITS ALL JASON’S FAULT HE DIED BC HE WAS RECKLESS N SHIT ND MAYBE HE WAS A LITTLE BUT ITS NOT HIS FAULT! IT IS IN NO WAY HIS FAULT HE DIED! HE DIDNT TURN HIMSELF OVER TO THE JOKER AND HE DIDNT BEAT HIMSELF OR BLOW HIMSELF UP! IT WASNT HIS CHOICE TO SUFFOCATE BC OF ALL THE SMOKE HE WAS INHALING!! HE WAS JUST A KID!! AND HES TREATED LIKE THIS CAUTIONARY TALE IN UNIVERSE SO OTHER ROBINS (MAINLY TIM AT FIRST) KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DONT FOLLOW ORDERS!! JASON DIED AND WAS TURNED INTO AN EXAMPLE! ITS ALL FUCKED UP!

then the calling out your name part is so. it's so evocative of the panels of jason in his grave waking up and realising he's trapped and calling out for bruce!!! it's so. it's got me fucked up

this is a very jason song to me now

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

EP 4 was just mostly talking and conversations, but there was so much depth THAT I MUST TALK ABOUT IT.

I could literally feel the anguish exuding out of Sally trying to teach Percy to swim

Ngl i was a lil skeptical about azrien’s acting but hearing that scream changed everything

“Hey, you still sleeping?” “Yes” she’s so relatable i love it

i thought we were going to wait until the zebra truck scene for the trauma bonding but we got some of it now which is cool and also makes me wonder whether they’re going to take it to a whole level in the zebra truck scene

I kinda like how annabeth knows so much about grover their dynamic in the show is just so chef’s kiss

I dont know if the whole “thalia made me earn it” thing is canon but its an interesting spin on their dynamic

Grover is such a mood pls shoutout to grover (this episode focused a lil more on percy and annabeth’s dynamic)

Its interesting how they changed frederick chase in the show. In the book frederick never wanted annabeth but in the show frederick loved annabeth. It makes more sense now that percy asks her to go back especially in the books, that was very controversial to have annabeth seem like she was overexaggerating about what she went through with them

i was waiting for them to introduce the searcher pan stuff i almost thought they’d erased it, thankfully they brought it up

ANNABETH’S FACE WHEN THE COP CALLED HER A “LITTLE GIRL” LEAH YOU’RE A ROCKSTAR

Medusa>>>>echidna in the show IM SORRY ECHIDNA WOULDN’T STOP TALKING

The architect in annabeth is coming out i hope she explicitly talks about it later on

I don’t think the writers knew what to do with grover when percy and annabeth were talking so they just made annabeth a little unnecessarily rude for some reason?? At least its better than the movies, where annabeth and grover just WALK AWAY from hermes and percy

i didnt expect the random posh voice it threw me off but it was so funny

OK but can someone help me with this? Percy in this scene says “i have a gift” to annabeth? Could someone pls explain? What gift?

Last episode i was cringing at the screen at percy for the “can’t we just call your mom?” This episode i was cringing at the screen for annabeth’s “you wanna say hi to your dad :))))” these kids have no sense of touchy subjects do they

you’ve done so much more to me in the past few days than poseidon has done in my whole life. If i have to stick with somebody, i—“ “be careful, you were about to call me a friend” THIS DIALOGUE IS SO PRECIOUS ITS WORTH A BILLION DOLLARS

Im suspicious about the percabething this series is doing so far, i feel like its too early, its giving me a feeling that there’s going to be some big angst thats going to happen later on to break the world

When Percy fell, i was genuinely thinking he was going to give annabeth a hug lol (“wow annabeth no you are my friend!!” Something like that)

alexa play jump and fall by ts

I love that they’re expanding the consequences that came with sending medusa’s head to olympus, and how it negatively impacted annabeth, which will probably turn angsty later on

Also, percy looks half dead

The plan to push annabeth into the stairs was executed so smoothly wow

i like they are exploring the very concerning side of percy too, the part of him thats like “im the useless one im ready to die no probs” ALSO THALIA PARALLELS THEY’RE DEF GONNA TOUCH ON THAT NEXT EPISODE

i like how the water grabbed percy like a little tunnel

Its so funny how the nereid says poseidon’s name and percy just starts struggling more like “HELL NO”

THE PARALLELS OF THE START OF THE EPISODE OF PERCY TELLING SALLY TO BREATHE AND THE END OF THE EPISODE OF NEREID TELLING PERCY TO BREATHE

What the heck is that throne thing? Why is percy turning golden? What is happening? HUGGGGGG!! (Too early, as i said), oh look ares—OMG ITS ARES!!

[skrs-cats]

Loved mudclaws manga his interactions with clanmates and family members were so nice to see vs him in the main arc books we never got any of that just him being antagonistic oh man good luck it took me months to get through all the earlier books, i started at tpb and then went chronologically according to the events timeline on the wiki, it was fun but so time consuming, seeing snippets of the new books makes me feel like im missing out i wanna KNOW but i dont want to spoil myself too much se or novella set during pot3 when please erins i am BEGGING the only thing other than the arc books to happen during pot3 was a graystripe manga YEA i had to look on the wiki to find that i havent read all the bonus scenes i dont have the versions of the books with them and i forget to look them up most of the time lol, glad they stopped making them theyre a pain to find, i know it makes sense for jay and lion to not be as close anymore especially with lion having a family of his own but it bothered me that all these med cats who didnt even seem to like jay that much were the ones to help him, we didnt even get to see him tell lion about it </4 lion would have wanted to know about holly sometimes it feels like the authors dont like the characters 😭

i remember SPEEDING thru the books once i got my grubby lil hands on the pdfs, idk how long they all took to read but i think reading them so fast just made it all the more easy for me to muddle up details hkjhdskjfha if i ever get around to a reread i might just take my time on it. ALSO I FEEL YOU LOL. sometimes i go thru the wc tag and seeing people talk abt the new books gives me the same feelings HAJHAHA i just power thru it by drawing my po3 bastards (surprisingly effective) and go on w my day

as someone who's freshest memory of the recent arcs were snippets of the sibs Bonding and Caring for one another I REFUSEEE TO BELIEVE THAT JAY AND LION ARE NOT CLOSE ANYMORE IM DYING ON HIS HILL. the erins constantly play w my feelings like sometimes theyd drop these awfully sweet scenes of the two being affectionate w one another but then the bonus scene drops and im like... did u forget about lionblaze. wheres my MAN ToT i will also confess that my somewhat recent rediscovery of the bonus scene actually pushed me to make a comic where lion talks to leaf in starclan out of SPITE. but im working on it lol. IF THE ERINS WONT DO IT THEN I WILL

[grubcakes]

If u don't mind would u like to share 8 of your juiciest ludwig von koopa Headcanons with me pweez 😁

HIEEE IM SO SORRY IM JUST RESPONSING TO RHIS ..., i had a response written when u sent ir and then my tumblr bugged out and got rid of it so i got mad and pretended it didnt exist. IM SO SORRYYY AHHH YES I CAN DO THIS!!

💙 ⊹₊ ⋆ Ludwig is Autistic. Because I am!! He also has BPD.. BECAUSE I DO!!! whoopee!!! He doesn't especially like being touched by people and hasn't since he was Firstborn. Every time somebody touches him, he says "Touching." in a very crabby tone (bee and puppycat reference) and stares at them until they stop touching him. Cicada is exempt from this both because he likes them and because they have soft hands so it's ok. He has a special interest in music as a whole and loves composing his own pieces!!... Many of which are unfinished because he has big boy work to take care of, and because he keeps making more. He is organized with everything but his own music ... what a goober

🎼 ⊹₊ ⋆ Lore dump for context..... Bowser made a deal with this goddess lady because she doesn't like peach (lore reasons, please ask me about it) and the deal is to capture her yadda yadda ... In exchange for his compliance, the goddess gave him the seven rainbow kids (Koopalings!! wao) so that they could assist him in his mission. Bowser, now with this new stressful mission, ended up shoving Junior in Ludwig's hands..... for a while, Ludwig was Junior's primary caretaker while Bowser was stressing over the mission and other things, and he Hated it. This was pre-transition, so Junior would call Ludwig 'mini-mama' which he hated even more. While Ludwig doesn't hold any grudges against Junior for obvious reasons, he still feels weird if he has to take care of him for any reason. (Also, Junior's favorite sibling is Ludwig.. for obvious reasons!)

🪼 ⊹₊ ⋆ All of the Koopalings and Junior watch my little pony because its goated. Ludwig's favorite is Rarity (obvious, I know).. not because they have similar personalities, but because she has impeccable fashion sense. She also mildly inspired his little interest in sewing, an interest he carries that he'd never admit to anybody but Cicada. He sewed some of the outfits they wore when they were considered a 'captive'. (He would like to get into crocheting, maybe.)

🎧 ⊹₊ ⋆ In public, he obviously likes to keep a posh and professional appearance. He rarely smiles, always looks straight ahead, never breaking eye contact when speaking (which unnerves people sometimes)... And hides his real laugh. The fake laugh he shows people is very quiet, think of like... a "hmhmhm-" or liek silverspoon from III. Buuut, if you show him something real funny, and you're not in front of anyone else........ "PFFOHOHO!!(๑`▽´๑)" !!!! (if youre in public, he tries to hold it in and he sounds like he is choking)

💠 ⊹₊ ⋆ I already kinda stated he is trans two facts ago but he is trans. His hair used to be entirely white and a little less coily and kinda droopier.... He was very sad before he transitioned. He would isolate himself much more than he does now, to the point where he wouldn't eat for days at a time sometimes. He was also much crabbier. He had frequent episodes that would result in isolation or worse (s/h) and one day he ended up exploding and having a meltdown in front of Iggy and Iggy's response was to promptly knock him out and give him both top and bottom surgery and pump him full of hormones which made him sick for like a week!!!! He obviously recovered nicely, though- he stopped isolating as much and began EATING YAY!!!.!.@?@?. After he went on hormones his hair started to turn blue. Why? lunno. Sometimes he gets a white hair every now and again (from stress) and he very quickly plucks it because 1. He's scared he'll look like how he used to and 2. Не doesn't wanna get old and wrinkly. Even tho him and Iggy have a complex rivalry brotherhood type thing going on, he will forever hold Iggy in high mental regards for playing doctor that day.

🖤 ⊹₊ ⋆ I'm sure this is a very common headcanon for him (i know it is but IDC!!) Him and Wendy are gossip buddies. They have stupid nicknames for each other to let each other know its gossip time (DeeDee and Wiggy). Obviously they hate these nicknames, but hey!! its fun. Ludwig also gets weirded out when others call him Wiggy. Roy is on thin ice because she calls him Wigzy, which is just one letter off.

🦋 ⊹₊ ⋆ Another common one obviously buuut ,,, He can play Many instruments!!! Piano, trumpet, tuba, organ, violin, viola, and saxophone. How does he get the time for all of it?? who knows!!! (he has occasional 3-am moments in his studio) ... also he wants to learn more. Cicada will eventually teach him Kalimba and Harp and this other instrument i created that doesn't have a name yet!!

🐦‍⬛ ⊹₊ ⋆ He is Romantically complicated. He's a gay man which is like semirelated butANYWAY like .... He reads romance because he feels like he has no time to feel romantic feelings. But at the same time he thinks romance is dumb and would probably waste his time, but then he also really wants to know what it's like to kiss somebody and be romantic and stuff. But also hates touching and being touched but he wants to be held. (Cue Cicada♡) He's just very complicated!!! (After he developes his weird little feelings for Cicada he feels gross and weird sometimes because he's like wow this is so weird. what is going on. why. i wanna kiss him. im gonna hurl)

THANK YOU IM SO SORRY I DIDNT RESPONS TO THIS SOONER OWJEKSBSS..,., YAYAYAYAYYY

[yoonzinuhh]

rainy day — joshua

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 : reader x joshua

𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 : pure fluff. comfort.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 : nothing much. affection and kisses.

𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 : this is purely fiction. i could really see how shua would act in such situation. i love him so much i hope he is always happy :((

you loved rain. the smell of soil,window stains,the droplets going on a race,it never failed to give you a sense of comfort. but today was different.

it was just wednesday and your week couldn’t get any worser. migraine,periods and your shitty ass boss who gives you thousands of paper works every night. and when you thought the day couldn’t get any worser,your car broke down in the middle of the road. you were exhausted,you wanted to cry out so loud but tears just don’t come out.

in the middle of the road at 9pm you couldn’t bother your boyfriend,shua. his job was as hectic as yours and the last thing you’d want is to make his worser plus he wouldn’t be home atleast by 10.

you just walked,letting the rain wash you out,pouring covering your tears that never came out,lips trembling because of the cold and the stress. the day couldnt get any worser.

unlocking the door you walked through the hall wetting the floors which was the last thing you could care about right now.

“shit babe why-“ you flinched at the sudden voice coming from the cushion. your boyfriend was home early out of all other days. ofcourse you love him,more than anyone and anything but him seeing you all drenched,in the verge of breaking down was the last thing you wanted today.

running past you he rushed to bring a towel and put it over your shoulder.

“oh my god babe why are so drenched? didnt you leave by car whats wrong” he almost rapped.

“it b-broke down..” you managed to whisper out,eyes never leaving the floor. you knew joshua would never judge you but you were scared to show this side of you. you guys have been dating for almost a year and half. you both knew this was serious and even moved together. you knew him. he knew you.

“you should’ve called me or got a taxi atleast y- god i’m sorry come on take a shower. i’ll make some tea hm. quick one”

nodding at him you drag yourself for a bath.

he knew something was wrong,he always did.

you come out,changing into something comfier. but the tiredness in your face was still there. you get to the kitchen to the sight of your boyfriend making your favourite tea. it holds you heart.

“oh you’re back-“ you hugged him. so tight. so tight that you know he probably can’t breathe but he pulled you in,more tighter. you can’t control it anymore. tears started pricking out,sobs escape from your mouth. god he hated this sight but if not him who else ?

pressing kisses on top of your head he just repeats his mantras “i love you” “i’m here” “cry it out” mumbled,not so audible with the sounds of rain and thunder

you don’t speak up or even look at him. all you do is sob into his chest. you feel love. you feel home.

you finally feel it out. your tears stop. you pull away seeing wet stains on his shirt. “i’m sorry..”

“hey you did not just smear your snot on my shirt did you??” he giggled on a higher pitch jokingly and kissed your eyes.

“do you wanna talk about it ? even if you don’t want to i really understand. remember i will always love you,love your long rants,love your everything..okay?”

you heart grows warmer,you feel like crying again and you do. he holds you again,holding your neck behind,making you feel closer than ever.

“i d-don’t know what’s w-wrong..i just..i r-really don’t know” you manage to whisper out.

“hey it’s okay..it’s okay..i love you” he says rubbing your back.

“do you want to have some tea then watch something while cuddling? we could watch your favourite show for the 100th time you know”

“i would love to” giggling onto his chest,hugging him tighter.

god you love him so much. so much more than you thought you would fall.

[pommunist]

I really appreciate coming to your blog, to be honest for me its like a healing balm after even just skimming and scrolling others feelings on all of this. I feel like sometimes people are so unreasonable and it hurts to see people "taking sides" at all with this situation.

All Ive ever cared about with this issue is the facts. The fact that a lot of workers got screwed over and instead of buckling down and talking to people QStudios would rather it all just stop happening, make changes and not acknowledge what they did. Honestly they dont have to say anything that even takes blame for it! All anyone was asking for at first was a goddamn DM man. Like they didnt even care if they got fired they just wanted a message SAYING that. But somehow they "cant talk about it" otherwise they would be "complicate" as if they were expecting people to sue them before anyone was even suggesting that?

Everyone is acting like legality is so important as if the people who first stepped up about all of this were instigating lawsuits when thats only happening NOW because they refused to say anything! Its like...why did they have to be "careful with what they say for legal reasons" when no one was threating to sue them. Almost as if they KNEW what they were doing was considered illegal and DID have grounds for legal recourse. If not then why not make ANY statement? Why be so scared to say anything at the beginning? It just dosnt make any sense. I mean even the Union was like "we dont wanna sue you just talk to your workers" at first!

It just feels a bit like a lot of this is being blown out of proportion and considering in his last stream Q ONLY talked about himself getting doxed (not saying that Q is "over reacting" from getting doxed by the way, of course, but rather the community seems to want to use this as a reason to exempt him from any wrong doing), the Brazilians (which by the way the fact that it took ALL OF THIS SHIT for him to BARLY EVEN mention the xenophobia is just….wild ill say), and that hes not gonna be the CEO anymore and like….okay cool dude not what anyone wanted a stream from you about but like pop off I guess. It just feels like every stream hes done about this situation never clears up anything and gives vague promises that dont seem to be held or at the very least is giving us basically no info and just promises.

Amen to all of that anon ! Like everyone (including myself i’ll admit) is saying how it’s difficult to speak about these things because it could lead to legal consequences but also… You want to avoid a lawsuit ? You truly have a desire to make things right ? Then go talk to your workers. Give them the answers they’ve been waiting for. Listen to their experience, listen to their demands, listen to what they want from you. Release a statement with full excuses on the behalf of the whole company to them, thank them for what they did. Pay them the fair compensation you owe them for the months of labour they did for your project. Demand that your community and everyone else leave them be in peace, and condemn everyone who doesn’t.

Like sure, that may need you to admit that you did wrong which could be used against you in court but lets be for real. Lawsuits are stressful, can cost money and are time consuming, so who, especially young people without a lot of money and ressources to their disposal, is going to want to go through that whole legal process after getting everything they wanted and deserved from you ?

This isn’t talking about the Q vs the higher ups who refused to pay the admins and mistreated them btw thats a whole different legal affairs but still then, wouldn’t ex admins have be able to provide you screenshots of payments and conversations that you could then use in your favour in court ?

Also my blog where all I talk about is workers exploitation is like a healing balm to you anon ? You sure you’re okay ? /j ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[madisonrooney]

no one probably cares but. i wanna stress how big of a deal it is for me that im rewatching chunks of hannah montana, even if not the full series and even if out of order. not so much in the sense that it does bring up a lot of trauma (tho there is that...BUT i am pretty deliberately avoiding season 4 for that reason) but in the sense that like.

yknow that meme thats like "im going to create rules for myself that are so unnecessary" bc thats very much me. idk if its an autism thing but i do that so much. so basically when i need background noise i make myself watch whatevers on live tv and if there arent any shows i like on, i put on a dvd. could i just put on a dvd or streaming just if i felt like it or preferred it to whats on tv? sure, but my thing is ive been doing this for so long that if i change it now, that shows i couldve changed it ages ago and have lost so many opportunities to watch whatever i wanted. so to me it makes more sense to keep it this way. its stupid idk.

but leading up to and since d23, i like. physically could not stop myself from watching some hannah montana like i HAD to. i had been revisiting clips and eventually i was just like i am holding back serotonin from myself i just need to give in. and i did and man the RUSH it has given me.

im not entirely sure what my point is in posting this...ive wanted to for a few days but now im forgetting why lmao. tho im p sure its just that when i say "ive been rewatching some hm" its not as common of an occurence as you might think and just shows the deep state of brainrot im at rn, and im fucking loving it!!!!! not only have i spent so long struggling to hyperfixate on anything, but there were def periods over the last 15 years where i felt like i was forcing hm onto myself. not to say i didnt love it all throughout, but sometimes i would push it on myself when i was having an off day or more in the mood for a different hyperfixation. to come back to it so NATURALLY and PURELY and STRONGLY and GENUINELY!!!!! it feels so good!!!! and its just like...idk super heartwarming to me.

and i guess my other point is that i need to remind myself that there are easy things i can do to make myself happy that i prevent myself from doing for literally no reason so i need to work on that but at least this is a step in the right direction. like how i would force myself to catch up on the instagram stories of literally everyone i follow for hours and it would feel like a chore, when i could be doing something fun, especially with my few free hours on a work day. thankfully ive gotten myself out of that habit too but im sure there are some more walls i can knock down.