#i didnt notice a new week had started 💀

[sapphicmarauding]

prompt: feb. 20 — feb. 26

this week's prompt is: fingertips

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 1 - the gc birth

in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends

or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.

warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

__

notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28

__

THE GLADE

[ 7:45 PM ]

alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally

alby: Hello, guys.

minho: wtf is this

newt: uhhhh

tommy: hi :3

y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private

gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number

newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n

tommy: oh that’s y/n?

alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??

newt: yea

tommy: o.O

y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao

tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????

y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p

newt: lmao

minho: ik he smug as fuck rn

not u asking for a girls number lmao simp

newt: stop

y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it

plus you guys are friends irl so idk

it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh

minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n

we play games all the time

call all the time

we even send packages and shit

you’re very much considered our irl friend

y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺

tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️

minho: the heart eyes are crazy

but yes dude

newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you

minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO

but real ig

y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE

hahahahha

HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR

I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER

gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys

minho: gally sleeps in the corner

gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion

y/n: cherry blossom mansion*

gally: and you sleep in a shed

y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.

tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰

y/n: love you tommy <3333

minho: that’s actually nasty stop now

y/n: u mad ur unloved

i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((

newt: aw it is

minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord

alby: I’m done with Discord.

newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate

minho: mate 💀💀

british people so crazy

alby: Yes maybe..

I don’t want to make another.

y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to

minho: LMAO REAL

alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)

minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀

newt: minho admitting he’s jobless

minho: you work at a library be so fr rn

newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.

gally: LMFAOOOOOOO

minho: stfu :////

y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY

tommy: YAAAY!!!!

im going to text you guys all day

tell you every meal

every thought

every interaction will be meaningful and glorious

newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that

minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit

why not just do it before in the discord ??

tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..

y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy

newt: ok second thought that’s fine

minho: .

gally: that’s wild.

y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST

newt: first with what

y/n: say what u ate today

newt: didn’t say i’d do it.

tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333

you guys next

minho: that’s all you had bro..

y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D

minho: ??????? BRO

how are you guys alive

y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking

newt: please eat and drink water.

like for real and document it

y/n: ok wait

there

tommy: yum!

minho: y/n..

newt: cereal does not count

y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY

im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare

newt: alright what do you want?

y/n: wym?

newt: like if you could pick.

minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it

i like it go on.

tommy: i want chick fil a

minho: i knew you hate the gays

tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????

y/n: ugh that does sound good

mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch

newt: that’s what you would order?

y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh

newt: ok

minho: that’s it?

i thought soemthing would happen

tommy: me too

like a spell! magic 🪄

y/n: sigh

my cereal tastes bad now

newt: well it is cocoa puffs.

minho: L cereal

y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG

minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L

newt: you're annoying minho

minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that

newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying

minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday

newt: ???

myself

and i paid for yours too

im the one with an income

minho: .

well i didnt think youd remember that well.

newt: it was literally yesterday.

minho: yeah but ur old

newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU

minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔

tommy: guys stop fighting

newt: we aren't fighting

maybe this gc was a bad idea

tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!

y/n: NOOOO!

tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl

y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was

y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.

wait there is a knock at my door im scared

newt: answer it

minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????

newt: well usually yes

y/n: no im not expecting company

newt: just do it pls

y/n: ok :D

minho: bruh..

i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt

newt: why would you want that

minho: bc she owes me money

newt: YOU owe ME money

minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux

tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE

y/n: :o....

tommy: Y/N?????????

OH GOD THEY GOT HER

minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got

tommy: clearly its a surprised face

maybe its not her

its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use

y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!

minho: me

newt: you literally did not

minho: shut up

y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt

newt: well

y/n: :(

newt: what why are you sad?

minho: im hungry too

y/n: u spent ur money :(

newt: you're hungry are you not?

minho: she's not but i am

y/n: yeah but..

i feel bad you shouldn't have

newt: just eat it or i'll be mad

minho: i think i want red lobster

newt: it's really no big deal y/n

y/n: thank you newt :(((((

newt: you're welcome

go eat and watch ur show or smth

minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving

newt: can you shut up

gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.

minho: thank god

newt: good

tommy: good

y/n: good

the food is good too <3

newt: good.

_

lmk if you want to be tagged!

[tojiscrack]

in honor of the new soano chapter- my thoughts

I AM GAGGED THIS IS SO GOOD

FIRST OF ALL- MALAKAI FROM LIAR LIAR UNIVERSE HOPPING INTO SOANO?? HILARIOUS. I DIDNT KNOW THIS WAS POSSIBLE, BUT HES EVEN WORSE HERE LMFAOOOO

Y/N HAS BEED HAUNTING SHADIS EVEN WHILE HE WAS GONE😭😭 HE IS TREMBLING OVER THE SOUND OF HER VOICE.

i actually also love the fact that y/n is so iconic in this so here's a list

- shadis, badis, madis, and kadis

- forcing jean's lookalike to eat peas

- LITERALLY PUNCHING BORIS, HELLO??

- scheming with hange after running away(for the first, but definitely not last, time)

- "remember me?"

- insulting erwins eyebrows😭

- pulling a turn around on badis after LOCKING HIM IN THE WOMENS BATHROOM??????

- drawing flowers instead of answering the math problem

- LITERALLY DITCHING HER GROUP TO RUN AWAY LMFAO

- actually befriending malakai😨

- convincing everyone that the schedule had changed

and saving the best for last,

- "OH SHADIIISSSS!!, guess who's baaack"

i probably forgot to write a few down but i hope ur happy with this list😈

i loved the new chapter so much like i actually was kicking my feet and giggling from the shenanigans ilysm pls never die i actually wish i could smooch u bc this was beautiful 😔😔🙏

start of a new obsession masterlist here:

I’M SURPRISED YOU’RE STILL READING IT? 😭 HAHAHA STOP ILY

MALAKAI ORIGINATED IN LIAR, LIAR BUT WILL BE IN EVERY UNIVERSE OF EVERY STORY I WRITE 😭 him and y/n will meet a millions times. and yes, he’s 10000x worse here and it’s actually like that for a reason — in aot’s universe, they don’t exactly have much to lose. we don’t know much about how their jobs work and stuff. all we know is that if you have a criminal record, it stays. if you’ve done something incredibly grave, it stays (as seen with eren and mikasa’s murder crimes committed at 9 years old LMAO). but we notice that even with that, eren was able to join the cadet corps and even ended up ranking 5th before joining the scouts. so, malakai truly has nothing to lose when he goes feral 💀

please you basically just summarised the entire chapter DKMMM 😭😭 i had sm fun writing it for the few readers that are actually invested despite how little traction it gets. soano will always be my favourite to actually write simply bcz of how much crack it consists of.

had to make her punch boris cuz he was so annoying when i watched him in the ova. she’s doing what i wanted to do so badly. and her friends will understand why she ran off 😭 they know her well despite only knowing her for a week.

y/n in liar, liar, despite the way she acts with malakai, sees him as a friend. it’s the same thing in the soano verse. y/n and malakai 🤝 being a chaotic duo in every universe.

miffysmittens, i wait for ur notifs EVERY time. i’m gonna mwah both of your cheeks, i wake up in the morning for you, don’t YOU ever die 😤‼️

[star-sim]

hiihii, 🦊 anon back here !! Im gon be info dumping u the shii cuz u said u were invested, but if u dont want to readall of it I completely understand cuz like I wrote a whole ass shii 😭😭

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okay so like there's thay copycat, let's call her P !! technically, she's been a friend since last year, but I didnt really consider her as one cuz she mostly talked with my other two friends from our closest friend group n like nobody else. (we're a group of five without her) She sorta randomly appeared, but I ofc didnt mind cuz its always nice to meet new ppl n make new friends yk ??

(extra thingy for this year => one friend changed schools to another city, another doesnt hang out with us anymore but does online, n then there's another who isnt in the same classes so we only see each other during breaks. so its just me n another friend, (let's call her F) she's has been my closest friend since years ago so far !!

Okayokay now on to the real shii; since the new school year, P asked the school if she could be in the same class as me and F (because we're always together). so practically, P is also my classmate now. BUT !! I've noticed she favours F more than me, which doesnt bother me much bc we all have preferences at some point 🤷‍♀️ HOWEVER its getting a bit uncomfy because she's slowly been like starting to copy me and seems to be trying to exclude me to get closer to F ever since school started

Im insecure about friendships, so I get jealous when I see F paying more attention to P than to me (at least Im self aware 😞) oh, abt the copying part, I have a list to explain omllll !! for instance, I have an online school timetable with a specific colour palette (we have our own from our school's app but I'd like to use my own [another one] cuz then its a widget) she saw it and asked about the app n then the next week, she did the same thing with the exact same colors for each subject ?? Its not a big deal, but its abs noticeable.. like I get it u wanna use the same app cuz Ik how handy it is but using the same colours is starting to become extra .. then theres the school stationary, especially the pencil case and highlighters. I have a clear see-through pencil case and pastel highlighters (so coquette) n after two months or somewhere around that, she got the same ones. AGAIN, not a huge deal, but then she started comparing highlighters and saying she should have bought the same ones as me (?? Girl tf) Its frustrating because she's indirectly indicating that she wants to be or have the same shii as me 😭 n I dont like that. Ik some ppl do but I jst dont

Another example is my headphones. I have specific ones (JBL I lub em sm), n in December or smth, she also got the same ones but in pink (I have black ones) Its not about the headphones themselves tho, but the fact that she claimed we have the same ones when they're CLEARLY different. It's a fcking pattern, even with little things like a pocket mirror that she suddenly wants after seeing mine ?? 😭 "oh, I want to have one too now n use it like u" *proceeds to buy n never use it anyways* 💀

oh oh, then theres the issue of her comparing grades (no like wtaf) my average is at least 70%, which Im abs content with, but I wish I had more motivation to study m improve 😞 ahe studies n has an average of 74%, which is great for her ofc !! but she constantly YAPS abt having higher grades n being smarter, not realizing the difference between being book-smart n actually intelligent like girl theres a diff between the 2 yk 😭😭

P is actually fcking starting to get on my nerves, especially after half a year of this bs .. the friend who changed schools was like the mother of the group, n I miss her a lot (she's coming back next year tho, yippie !!) P seems to be trying to exclude me from the friend group n from my bestie F :( I havent told anyone else cuz like Im afraid theyll jst think Im overreacting, but I did confide in T ( the transfer student friend, lets call her that !!), n shes on my side (duh ofc cuz she also noticed from last year how she only sticked to F) but I dont want to tell F herself cuz I dont think she'll believe me. I used to feel happy and comfy being myself before P joined in, but now I feel like Im constantly being criticized n copied :// Its even worse bc she made fun of my cat's name !! (Like, I told her my cat's name cuz at one point we were talking abt cats n I told her I had gotten a new one that summer. atm she was doing that gossip whisper thingy to somebody else n when I told her that she had to be honest and confess she was making fun of my cat's name she went like "ohhhh, for a cat name !! I thought a human name" n then fake smiles omfl ..)

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ANYWAYSSSS, TAKE CARE 😽 love ur fics Istg I dont think I'd survive here w/out ur writings Im not joking 😭 ur fics r like one of the only ones that I'd even WANT to read no matter the 10k+ wc (thats a lot for me n I prefer short ones, but ur longer ffs r like TOP TIER MWAH)

-🦊

oh girl ur stronger than me bc P would make me yell....

u and F are like for-lifers.... the friends that you keep when things change are the ones that you need to CHERISH FR

i think ur like 100% valid for the friendship jealousy, i get SO jealous too ur like real for that. like looking at these individual examples it doesn't come off that P is trying to copy you.... but when you look at it ALTOGETHER as ONE BIG MASSIVE PICTURE.... yikessss

i cant stand P sorry... like the excluding thing is making me seethe

AND THE CATS NAME THING WOULD BE MY FINAL STRAW GIRLLL STAY IN UR OWN LANE

i don't think ur overreacting, ur like 100% valid for this one

i am SO on your side

imo i think it's important to talk to F about this... and if she does not react well then drop her!!! if your best friend cannot take your feelings into consideration then that's not good!!

i'm glad that you like me fics btw!! it means a lot <3333

thanks for stopping by 🦊 anon!!! mwah mwah love you (and lmk if i need to air raid P)

[caught-the-lovebug]

Hellooo :]

so i sent an ask like last year (this one) and lets just say I have alot to update about. Ima try to keep this short but dont worry its all good news!

so thanks to your response and some ✨encouragement✨ (affectionate peer pressuring from my friends) I did leave a not in my crushes locker. The only thing is I couldnt make it as nice as I wanted because I had been repeatedly changing my mind on wether I should do it or not and finally the last period of the school day I quickly made a a letter for them. I used the idea I already had and cut some paper and basically made an envelope that when unfolded it was in the shape of a heart and that was what the note was written it (not as hard to make as it sounds). I didnt get to write everything I wanted but it was cute and to the point. And the class I was in was also giving free flowers which was perfect so I took one to leave in their locker as well.

Then the end of the day came, my crush wasnt around their locker as they usually are so this was the perfect chance to give them their letter. My friends had come to watch but also to make sure I actually did it and im so glad they came cuz I keot chickening out and at one point I had taken the letter out and they literally had to drag me back to put it back in💀💀. 

I did finally leave the letter tho and I felt so much anxiety and excitement! The next day I looked and the letter and flower were gone but at the very back of the locker I noticed some crumpled up paper.. I thought it was my letter even tho I didnt see the flower anywhere and felt very sad but understanding, my crush had also been acting normal the day after so I just thought they ripped it up. That was until I snuck back and checked and it was just a random piece of paper! 

And about a week or 2 later my crush told me they found an letter in their locker! They didnt know it was me at the time (tho they did suspect it) so I tried to act completely normal about them telling me but I just know I looked suspiciously giddy, they told me that after they were dont with afterschool stuff they had seen the letter and was freaking out, they took it and the flower home and read it in their room and was tearing up! I was so shocked.

After this not too much happened, I still wanna keep this short so ill skip to the interesting bit.

Soon spring break came and me and my crush couldnt hang out at all because I was with my cousins the whole week but we texted daily and late into the night. We were flirting alot, making “jokes” about kissing eachother and just flirting a whole lot and having somewhat deep conversations late at night. By this time I was sure they liked me back and had a good idea that I liked them and wrote the letter too. But we were both too chicken to say anything.

When finally I started a long deep conversation the last day of spring break that was basically just us talking about our crushes, almost like confessing without acknowledging the crushes we had were on eachother! It had my heart racing and I honestly felt like I was in a romcom everything they said was so sweet! I was so nervous but I worked up the nerve and asked if they knew I wrote the letter to which they replied yes! ^^ 

After that things died down a bit mostly us talking more but being excited to see eachother again and just acknowledging our feelings. When we went back to school things were pretty normal, I was kinda nervous and I could tell they felt the same but we pretty quickly fell back into out usual rhythm but with more open affection. We were very clingy with eachother and flirted alot and it was just so much fun!

Ima skip a bit more but my school (specifically band) got to go to disney and both me and my crush went. The trip was amazing and so much fun, but before we left I had joked to my crush (now partner) that we should kiss during the fireworks, they liked the idea alot and I thought it was all jokes until the day of the fireworks, during our conversation they said they would bring a tripod to record the moment to remember and the day of the fireworks I saw the tripod in their bag.

I was freaking out cuz I thought we were jorking! I definitely was not against kissing them at all but I was so nervous. Eventually tho as the day continued I kinda forgot about seeing the tripod and got caught up in the disney scenery. When the fireworks were about to start we had gotten separated from out group on accident and ended up in this somewhat private area on a bridge, we were kinda far but we still had a good view. The fireworks started and I could tell my crush was kinda nervous about something but I didnt think anything of it at the time, I had recorded the fireworks till my phone ran out of storage and then went to go hug them from behind to watch the rest, the music paused for a moment, the voice during the show talking about taking hold of your dreams, then right as the fireworks and music swelled they turned around and kissed me! It was honestly so perfect just writing it out makes it seem unreal but I swear it is. When they pulled away they looked so nervous and I had no idea what to do other than kiss them again and thats what I did 🥰

Since then things have been going great! They came out as transfem so my beautiful boyfriend became my gorgeous girlfriend and i couldnt be more proud🥰We had our one year anniversary in March and they gave me a promise ring that I wear almost every day. I honestly feel like im in some sort of rom com, there were tiny bumps in the road but never anything serious and im just so happy with how things turned out that I wanted to share it with you 🥰

I hope this story encourages people to just go for it! because you never know how well things could turn out :]✨ 

(Also if you want a few more cute details im more than happy to share teehee)

Ahhhh that's so cute!! I'm so glad everything turned out well. Big congrats of having the courage to put yourself out there. Also congrats to your partner's gender journey!

I'm glad my response helped!

You're more than welcome to share if you'd like. This is a blog about little cute moments, stories, dilemmas, and yearning. Though I will say that I won't post anything that I think has identifying information. Keep good internet safety everyone!

[cutetehe]

ight little request cause your writing is keeping me alive right now ngl

so last week I impulsively shaved my head ( like I didnt go full-on mr worldwide more like a buzz cut) so now I just live to see obey me hcs for a male mc who did the same shit

*evil laughter*

also THANK YOU 🙏

Male Mc shaves their head, how do the brothers react?

don’t ask why these are short as hell- I’m having writers block😪

lil story

Mc stares at himself in the mirror for ten minutes trying to hype himself up to cut his hair after noticing how long his hair was, Mc wasn’t gonna pay 20,000 Grimm for a haircut! That’s just insane

Mc finally decides to go for it, he grabs his shaver and hopes for the best

“For the love of god- or Diavolo please let my haircut turn out decent” Mc mumbles under his breathe before cutting their hair

While mc was cutting his hair he cut off his hair a little to low

“shit- okay I’ll just cut it short don’t freak out” Mc thought before total chaos happened

Mc kept cutting his hair shorter and shorter after every mistake until he was left with a buzz cut and a bundle of sadness

After mc realized what he did he is in disbelief

Mc just stares at himself in the mirror for an entire hour until accepting that, he has a buzz cut and can’t fix it

Then he realized-

HE HAS DINNER WITH THE BROTHERS

Lucifer

When you showed up to dinner with a beanie on he knew something was up

He just ignored it until one of his brothers pointed it out

When one of his brothers pointed out the beanie mc choked

“I might’ve…maybe…. shaved off my hair” mc says sheepishly

The table was silent

“YOU DID WHAT” Mammon yells

“It doesn’t look bad! I actually sorta like it” Mc says while taking off his hat

Lucifer didn’t know how to react

Your hair definitely wasn’t bad but it’s so different that it looked funny at first

Lucifer is definitely the first one to get used it… sorta

One time when he was walking past the hallway he sees some dude with no hair and didn’t recognize you

He thinks you are the only person that can shave their head and actually look good doing it

Mammon

When he heard you cut your hair his jaw was hanging

He’s debating on if he likes it or if he liked your old hair cut more

Both your haircuts were good but… A BUZZ CUT HAS THAT FUNNY FEELING WHEN YOU BRUSH YOUR HAND THROUGH IT SO HE LIKES YOUR BUZZ CUT MORE

Brushes his hand against your hair all. the. time.

At first he thought he’d hate your hair but he actually finds it cool

cool to touch that is…💀

He thinks a buzz cut looks nice on you but doesn’t want you to know

LEVIIIII

Mic drop but with a fork out of shock

He freaks out for like twenty minutes

Then he remembers the amount of bad ass characters with buzz cuts

He slowly starts to like it

Not slowly almost immediately

He went from “ YOUR BEAUTY IS RUINED” to “…wait why is it actually sorta hot”

He asks if you are cold often ever since you cut off your hair

Honestly he likes it cause when you guys cuddle your hair isn’t in his face

Satan

“wait what” Is all that went through satan mind

“Did- did you do that on purpose???” Satan just confused tbh

After you explain to him what happened he’s just chill about it

“I did the same but instead of shaving all of it off I just use my hair to hide my bald spot”

“YOU HAVE A BALD SPOT??” Mc asks a little to loud- now Asmo knows

I headcanon that he has a bald spot

After Satan saw how Lucifer didn’t recognize you he plans out so many pranks to do on Lucifer

ASMOOO!!!!

Asmo more sad that you didn’t come to him for a haircut than the buzz cut surprisingly

“You aren’t freaking out that I have a buzz cut??” You say surprised

“Uh no?? Why would I care, You are still attractive with it”

“…also cause I have a ton of accessories to match you and your buzz cut” Asmo says honestly

He’s going to carry so many beanies to make sure you aren’t cold

BEEEEL

i fucking love Beel

I don’t even think he would care

He probably had one at one point

He’s still confused on why you did it though

“Why’d you shaved off your hair?” Beel asks casually

“New look” Mc lied to avoid the embarrassment

“oh cool- anyways wanna go to Hell’s Kitchen?”

Beel would 100% carry earmuffs so your ears don’t get cold though

belphegor

stuck in the attic *says this as if I’m not at story 77*

that’s my excuse today for not doing him

Masterlist

Do y’all like what I did with the masterlist text

[vampira-de-la-cruz]

ok so basically i  didnt get asks cause my askbox was closed and i didn’t notice 💀💀 (thank u to @olliedollie1204 for letting me know!! ure the best <33) but here’s the info on the AU for the 3 ppl who liked the post instead  >:)

 AU NAME: What He Does in the Shadows (whdits)

concept: ok so basically its an almost-complete roleswap but not really? premise is that guillermo el imparable (guillermo the unstoppable, name earned because of how damn hard he bothered and bargained with thee vampiric council to be turned into a vampire, no familiarhood nor connections) is an incredibly young vampire (just over a century old! baby vamp fr). His backstory is that he was really really really into vampire books and culture so he went off to study literature in europe or smthn and he started seeing patterns/trends in vampire mythos so he went down that rabbit hole and basically just. was able to infiltrate the stronghold of the vampiric council and basically stood his ground in the chamber of judgement until he was turned into a vampire. it is said he achieved this through convincing them to put him on security detail to basically muddy the vampires’ tracks so no other really determined humans could find out about vampires and as all the council was so fucking old and none of their familiars were as knowledgeable abt the subject as he was, it just made sense to do so (also he brought like a litre of holy water with him and sprayed it on his neck too but that’s besides the point).

This meant he was super deeply embroiled in vampire culture for years and years and years, figuring out who the fuck was leaking top secret info at a price to uninspired writers, stealing one-of-a-kind artifacts from fellow aficionados that would’ve gotten them so close (super duper sorry to Shanice, he anonymously donated a vampire-protection manual to her as a consolation), and even infiltrating the Van Helsing Vampire Hunters Association at one point (how the hell anyone didn’t call him out on de la Cruz being too on the nose is beyond him but well, over and done with, he guesses). In the 1990s he briefly re-emerged and had the grandest of times with new-to-the-scene bnf (big name fang, title for actors-turned-vamps) Antonio Banderas and they were kinda an item but its not big deal hahahah anyways- after some soulsearching or something (and some mess with the council not paying their dues and him realizing that damn maybe working for these asshole sucks, actually? he shouldntve been mad at the group he was once a part of and been more special just bcz he figured out how to leave it????) he decides he wants to share the secrets of the vampire world with the one he once tried so hard to escape

So he hits up the crew that recorded that vampire-centric and solely vampire-distributed documentary a few years back (he knows the guys who starred in it from council stuff and even though he’s planning to go behind the council’s back they’re a pretty chill gang so its fine) to make a sort of unofficial sequel docuseries to be distributed in both supernatural and human circles. It is only about 2 weeks before filming that he realizes he’s not really a shining example of vampiredom; he knows all the lore front to back, has the access, and has the fangs, yes, but he’s not really living the life. So he does what any vampire worth his salt does and improvises the hell out of it.

Ok so finding a new place on craiglist and then moving in with virtual strangers is a very bad idea, yes, but the human couple had a reasonable rate and they were so into the goth aesthetic that no sunlight could filter into their huge manor (!!! very vampiric, which is great) so Guillermo counts that as an absolute win. Also, turns out the actual tenant and head of the house is a fucking energy vampire of all things??? i mean that means that the humans were aware of vampires and the like so he wouldnt have to hypnotize the shit out of them or anything which is great and he’d have a different vampire perspective in his series which is double great - the only issue is the key missing piece.

Guillermo considers himself an incredibly self-reliant person. One does not become an unstoppable force to be reckoned with who rolled up to the vampiric council crosses blazing by relying on some shmuck to hold his coat for him or whatever. However, he can’t let his weirdly misplaced egotism get in the way of the show’s quality so he has to bite the bullet; it is only one week til filming and he has to do it, for the first time in over 120 years of his undead life, he has to get a familiar.

Picking a guy up at 3 am in the basketball court two blocks away from the manor wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. Okay, so he didn’t like give up, or anything, but the resumes he got were either really bad or the applicants weren’t cool with the cameras, and it was only 4 days until filming began, and his pacing about was so incontrollable that Nadja and Laszlo (his roomies who for some reason (he says some reason but. he knows. the walls aren’t thin but even without superhearing he’d be Aware)) physically pushed him out of the house to go chill out (if he hissed at them that’s his problem ok shush), that he bat’d and ended up wherever his wings took him. Suddenly, though, he sensed something coming directly at him in bat-form, straight trajectory ready to knock him down badly. Panicking, he returned to human form,  caught the UFO, and perfectly tossed it into a hoop he didn’t even know was there until he had already jumped to throw. He guesses the instincts he picked up from the Van Helsing era carried over or maybe its just a misc. vamp power. Anyways, this only matters because the sole witness to the very obvious proof of vampires’ existence was a man wearing a 1992 USA’s olympic basketball team jersey and he was looking at him like he hung the moon. Okay that last part might’ve also mattered for different, personal reasons but that’s not the point, the point is that this guy was clearly interested in gaining guillermo’s abilities which meant he was potential familiar material which meant that guillermo had done it!! he was ready for the documentary!!

Nandor: Teach me how to do what you just did

Guillermo: What I have done cannot be taught, it can only come from... a transformation. A transformation I am willing to offer... at a price, of course

Nandor: I will do anything for you to teach me your ways, Mr...?

Guillermo: I am Guillermo el Imparable and, if all is to go according to plan, it is best you begin to call me master

Nandor: ... Yeesh, Mr Elimparable, that’s kind of a lot-

Guillermo: Oh, gosh, yea, sorry, I forgot how that sounds outside of context-

Nandor: no, no its fine its just that most people call this like.... coach? or something?

Guillermo: I’m actually not very picky about the title, just... yea whatever is best, sorry about that. Do you think you could say ‘Master’ for the cameras, though? I want an authentic experience - my buddy Celeste is helping with PR and she says that using traditional verbiage is crucial

Nandor: the cameras? I’m going to be on TV because of this?

Guillermo: Well, its mostly about me but yes! It will also document your journey up to the moment of your transformation

Nandor: ah, yes, my transformation. good, very good. here, have my telephone number, call me when you need me so I may begin training. Should we start with.... wax on and wax off?

Guillermo: wow you're such a good learner already i can’t believe you knew about my serious candle problem just by looking at me, this is going to be fantastic.

It is now the first day of filming for the hit new docuseries What He Does in the Shadows. Colin Robinson, head of the house (untraditional occupation for an energy vampire but it is important to show innovation and differing vampire structures), prepares his room for filming by leaving as many branded objects directly facing all angles of his room. Laszlo and Nadja do each other’s nails and check their dark attires for wrinkles before joining Colin in the house’s foyer - they're wide awake as their sleep schedule was already horrid and they willingly decided to upset it further to be as present in the cool show as possible, they're hoping to making some fun connections out of the experience. Guillermo is currently being helped to get a bit of makeup on and his hair perfectly curled by his new familiar (do you know how hard getting ready is without a reflection. do you), and he lets out a happy sigh at how far his project has gotten already. Nandor isn’t paying much attention to Guillermo, but he is beginning to wonder when the hell the hoops come into play with his training cause this new coach is very weird.

[jayflrt]

ahhhh i think tumblr ate it but i was just saying how i noticed deceit was released and i'll use as motivation when i finish some big tests this week (i will literally start reading it the second i hand in my last test on friday)

and omg manifesting the digipacks for you !🕯

cb shows for me are usually either at like 4/5am (depending on daylight savings) or 8/9am which is when i need to be in school at so </3 there's enough clips going around for me to know the main parts tho so im not too worried abt missing them haha 😅 DURING THE SUMMER THO i make sure to watch it (since i only dont sleep at normal hours then anyways ahsjjf) i watched tbz's cb show for thrill ride and maverick ✨️ thought they were on naver live so the video was like vertical and i didnt like that 👎

well besides the tests i have this week im doing pretty well! i also recently joined my school's prom committee so we're planning for that and its very exciting since it'll be the first in person even we can host since the pandemic 😭! (i also need to find a prom dress and i dont want to break the bank yet in case there's a world tour or smth)

i also just saw the multiple cases of plagiarism and it genuinely upsets me so much how people cant respect other's intellectual property (it also freaking happens like every week in here or smth like what 😭😭) but that last one was rly fishy bc they found it so fast;;; it rly sometimes does feel like people just do it on purpose for fun with a new blog and make people feel like shit and just deactivate and thats so 👺👺 its just a low move like have people rly not. have anything better to do 😭

AND ITS MONDAY boooo (well tuesday since its past midnight for me) lets hope the rest of the week can go on peacefully 🤧 i hope everything else is well on your end too (besides the situation mentioned above)

- 🌻

I THINK IT DID EAT IT :((( because im seeing the wrong number in my ask box for the number of asks i can see in it,, like it won't show up even tho there's supposed to be more :(( AHH GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR TESTS THO 🤧 SCREW DECEIT IT CAN WAIT <333 so does that mean your exams are over tomorrow ?? :o 

im so nervous for the digipacks HAHAH like i dont mind any member i get BUT IM SO IMPATIENT I WANT IT NOW >:(( omg tbh i like watching comeback shows more than award shows so i like staying up to watch them 🥰 but it's not the end of the world if i miss it bc ppl record + upload clips HAHAH i even watched a whole treasure comeback show live with addy when i didnt even stan treasure 😭 HELP and for enha i remember she facetimed me so i could show her their live on my phone when i had no idea who they were 💀 

now i would definitely defend that deformed heart with my life 💀

tbh my non engene days were so funny i had no idea who those boys were LMFAO and i dont think ive watched a tbz comeback show actually omg,, maybe i will have to sacrifice some sleep for changmin and jacob <333 

ALSO HAVE FUN WITH PROM COMMITTEE !! that sounds so fun actually omg D; i hope it's a good experience for you !! 💗 omg prom dress shopping is so exciting :'') what color/style were you thinking of ?? my gown was pink i loved it so much 💖 

and right,,, these recent plagiarism cases have been making me rlly suspicious and kinda sick :// i seriously hope people grow up and realize that internet clout ultimately amounts to absolutely nothing. plagiarizing people's work..... how low are you going to stoop for a few notes 😞 also i was a little tipsy when i saw the ask that i got plagiarized LMFAO i was literally telling addy why couldnt they plagiarize me when i was sober 😭 but on a more serious note about that ask..... it was literally 10 min after the fic was posted and the account was new and not visible and the post didnt show in the tags so im VERY confused :/ 

but i hope the rest of your week is smooth sailing love !! and good luck on those exams again 🥰 thank you for such kind words HAHAH i think it'll be a good weekend !! just busy :'') hope you have a wonderful day/night <33