#i didnt get my afternoon nap today too lmao

[absurdumsid]

ok im also gonna catch up on some sleep so gnight silly creatures on my phone !!!!

[shytiff]

Small Dec Wins

i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!

1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt

2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be. 

3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp

4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.

5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends

6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check

7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok

8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe

9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.

10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss

11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,

12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance

13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100

14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.

15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.

16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)

17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check

18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo

19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.

20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)

21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)

22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt. 

23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day

24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.

25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.

26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.

27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100. 

28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf. 

29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner. 

30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.

31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep

and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live. 

[anarchistbitch]

heeeeey

first of all, a well-deserved rest im proud of you for all your hard work <3 if you find that book please tell me the name bc i need it too, if it includes curses for hills even better 😒 kitties can make anyone's day better, the ones around here are still not familiar with me tho but at least seeing them is nice

i ended up getting sick 🤡 but at least that meant i didnt go to uni on thursday, after wednesday's really long and unscheduled day i took a nap for the rest of the afternoon after arriving and woke up with the sniffles, a sore throat and coughing, but im better already thankfully

lmao all i remember about seri is that she existed in the manwha and i went looking for confirmation bc i just had like the feeling she was there but i do not remember anything other than that and the fact that she likes Taesung but that's bc they said it on the la and gosh i cant believe we're halfway through it already pain, misery, im lying down on the floor crying

ugh yeah, the college weirdo, that was another thing i'd forgotten but onto better things to talk about, did you see how much Haebom leaned on Taesung while they were drinking?? im <3<3<3<33<3<3<<333

i couldnt watch shubh mangal zyaada saavdhan on tuesday bc one of my profs made us go to uni on wednesday and kept us there so fucking long (im def blaming her for me getting sick, at the beginning of the semester we were told we would go to uni once a week for this class, then she pushed to make us go twice a week, monday and thursday, and then this week she also made us go on wednesday) and i had a big group assigment to turn in by 4:30pm so i spent all night working and then while i was at uni i got a text from a classmate saying that the due date was pushed to friday which i was both thankful and annoyed at bc i had already spent all night working on it but at least i had time to rest once i got home and finish my last part of it later

and yeah, my class starts at 8 bc they made the most annoying ass schedule this semester, i couldnt sign up for a class bc it was scheduled at the same time as another even, and there werent any sections at other times for some fucking reason

youtube compilations are so good as pick-me-ups, they really are comedians, i love them so much really and YES JDJHFS they're really the best of friends, also the fight over the dumplings that ended up making v write 4 o'clock like ????? who's doing it like them?? nobody

MDSHFDS URANUS??? god that's not even in the general vicinity of being a little close to it, also, ,,,,,, i just realized i made a typo there, it{s huraño lmao bing's translator gave me unsociable as a translation and i guess that{s part of it but not all, still cant remember what word i've used for it before

YES VIOLIN TSUNAMI YES YES YES ugh seriously, im in love with it

i googled biryani and that looks so damn good, made my mouth water, it also looks a biiiiit like arroz con pollo tho i think if you google that you'll just a get a pic of rice with a piece of chicken and there's nothing quite like a mother's food, that's like the worst part of not being home, that i dont get to eat her food

ooooh makes sense why when i shazamed it it threw back no result, thanks for the info dear ;) and good god i have rewatched that trailer so many times, i am so fucking excited and already roped in three friends to watch it and one of them is reading the webcomic already djfhjkdsfh

animation should be the only medium allowed for superhero movies, it's just superior thoooooo i must admit battinson has me in his clutches, i am obsessed with his wet and miserable looks as bruce wayne, i was shaking when i watched it at the cinema, did you watch it?? also, have you watched promare?? i was listening to the soundtrack today and ahhh it hits just as good as the first time

sending you love and clutching you just as hard, i hope you get a really good rest and drink water as well! im trying but i cant drink cold water rn bc of being sick and i hate drinking it room temperature but i also need to stay well hydrated bc of beinf bloody sick, do you see my dilemma?? also, i've been taking these medicinal tea they sell and it had helped tons but that shit is disgusting, i have to down it like people down strong drinks bleh, but enough of that, sleep well and remember to make time for yourself!!

M<3

HIIIIIIIIIIIII

my rest is getting over tomorrow but it was a good few days of doing nothing but watching gay pirate tv shows and rereading cbaw manhua(i am, as you can see, a man of culture<3).

cursing every single road i see everyday and i will do the same for every hill you have to endure(except the one i can see from the window. its so pretty & i really wanna go visit it sometime.also i cant attach a pic cause its a recognizable place here but im gonna attempt to describe it cause the scenery man. the clouds hang around the top of the it and a stream of water can always be seen even from the distance and theres a factory kind of place there and they raise the indian flag there on important days. yea)

man theres this cat downstairs and i wish it'd follow me home but its content to just wander :-; but yea seeing him is such a boost of joy🥰

glad to hear youre better!!! mask mandates are no longer required and so many common colds are coming back🤧 keep safe and drink hot water(drinking hot water is just soothing ur throat and hydration which really is the trick to beating most colds!!)

bro in ep3 when taesung is trying to hit on haebom and seri is trying to hit on taesung and haebom's just there like "camping is fun with friends🥰🥰!!". who said comedy is dead huh also that scene where taesung was teasing him so haebom made him carry all the firewood. you agree<3 i forget its only 8 episodes long😭😭 but i hope it gets a season 2 the thing the later seasons of cbaw is that they're never not together so when theyre being shy like this . kills me

group projects are so hard man the last one i had we didnt even get to it until the due date cause all of had other stuff that we were studying atm and completely slipped out minds im glad you got that extension. also staying up all night does have some adverse effects so again keep hydrating and try to stay awake until ur actual bedtime cause getting back ur sleep schedule .. its hard man.

i think academia is going to be tough on us for a bit with offline happening cause now the teachers have to bring the marks up to what it was pre-pandemic and its going to be hard. may perseverance come easier to us though.

school schedules my beloathed🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅. another bad part of offline school is me having to make my phone wallpaper my schedule cause i dont wanna learn it😞 i was gonna put a jshk wallpaper before too😢

i remember when i first got into bts and i'd watch those compilations for hours and cry from laughter😭 and omg run bts too. bro their talent. like i sometimes look at the lyrics of their songs cause wow ?!? the wordplay? the lyrics?? and when they released their remix of savage love and yoongi's verse started?? i didnt know this was open mic night cause that was literal poetry and yea nobody's doing it like them💜

omg i just assumed that it was urano was slang for alone😭

another song rec(its nothing like violin tsunami but its just neat): holy roller by thao and the get down stay downs! [fun fact! i got this song as my answer on a uquiz!]

i googled arroz con pollo and then went down a wikipedia hole of foods that originated in spain and puerto rico and DUDE . the same debate happens around biryani too!! cause biryani is so different in each part of the country like some ppl cook the meat and the rice differently then combine it , but truly the best biryani is moms<3

hope you get to meet her soon!!

HEARTSTOPPER TEASER MY BELOVED💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

ive been sending the teaser to my irls and trying to make them watch cause! its a very very dear webtoon to me and it coming to tv? dream come true. also omg the actual trailer is coming sometimes next week?? FREAKING OUT[also omg yasmin finney😳]

animation is SO superior and one of my friends is studying animation rn and she sends me the maths behind it and that makes me appreciate it more cause there's so much thought and work that goes behind every design and movement yk? on that note. have you seen turning red? its such a cute movie and i gasped when they showed mei's mom pulling out pads cause i have barely seen ANY movie aimed at young kids show menstrual products and yea. great movie with a really good soundtrack too!!

have not seen promare but i have added it to my to watch list! the premise sounds interesting!!

battinson.. i really want to watch it but im waiting for it to come to a streaming service, in the meantime im just listening to my emo playlist and pretending to be batman lol.

sending love and good health for the coming weeks!! prof

be careful with everything and wish you nothing but the best

also!! just some slight tw's for shubh mangal zyada saavdhan

- homophobia ,resolved by the end of the movie - the father of one of the main characters beats the other character(it s meant to be a comedic scene but it is an intense scene) -one of the characters try to "hang" themselves(another comedic scene, nothing happens but it is worth mentioning) and thats about it! also if some of the terms in the movie seem confusing feel free to ask!!!

[neo-shitty]

HELO katatapos lng ng exams literal 💀 i think el fili is in 4th quarter pa, we tackled short local stories lang. the subjects that i thought i would have a hard time in were the easiest sa lahat (filo, ap and sci) 😭 i didnt expect math and english to be THAT hard lol but still, keri naman. your good luck worked 😌 thanks for that hehe na miss den kita kaya diretso agad tumblr 😎

AND WDYM ??? U R WORTH RECCING >:( you have one of the best skz fics wdymwdymwdym BTW as promised, im binge-reading your works after i take an afternoon sleep (yes sleep, i feel like i ll wake up after 5 hours :">) im excited hUHU

imagine ,, chan saw that comment and your name, na shawtawt kpa ni lodicakes 🤪 i love reading long fics so dont be shy and drop that nct fic 😎 im still on my way to being a full-time nctzen (did i get that right?) and being a deobi 👌 im balancing 2 groups at the same time :>>>>>

LMAO i recently saw another ask with the same context as that. feeling special sila, di makaintay hirap kaya magsulat 🙄🙄🙄 yuckx (2) anyways your picrew looks so cute :3

PATI nakaka excite yung hinost mong collab. exactly my vibes ✨

IKAWWW MUSTA KAAA????

- 👻

HELLO T___T kakaisip ko lang the other day na miss q na anons q :'( yung isa on hiatus tas ikaw nagexams biglang tumahimik xd pero oks lang mej madrama lang for a while. HAHAH g10 math is hard but you'll look back on it someday and iisipin mo luh sisiw pala yown congrats on finishing your exams!!

HHAJSHHAJSH bro my confidence be @ an all time low rn so :') thank you for considering binge-reading my works omfg pero good luck i think those weren't the best e.e HELP AFTERNOON SLEEP HASJH the longest nap i had was like 3 hours ata but not 5 omf

nakakahiya talaga yun HAHAH log out ako agad buti napansin ko agad. also i can't drop the nct fic if i'm not writing it WHEEZE. but i'll try to finish it as soon as possible. i'm stalling too much. stanning big groups i see e.e good luck with memorizing the members! idk why the boyz took me two weeks to memorize HAHAH parang kakamukha silang lahat

kairita yung ganong anons :( thankfully i dont receive such anons tapos puro lang sw8 yung andito like u uwu thanks din sa picrew compliment hanggang dyan lang yung cute HAJHA im eXCITED FOR THE ENTRIES FOR THE COLLAB AS WELL IHHHHH wasn't my original idea but it's so cool

I AM OKAY, i have been reading a lot lang e.e i finished a book last night, started the sequel today. i dyed my hair yesterday and it's now red again. parang chilli powder red. and kinda orange-y under bright light (toffee chUUYA ERA!?!?) i'm one color away from completing the rainbow. besides the exams, what else were you up to the past few days?

[ac-ars]

What if I want it all?

oh damn kill me, this day was super meme so i was distracted almost all the time (ofc i didnt take the prompt that literally lmao)

this one is for @sky-girls because im sure she will know why, i love you very much barbara

~this baby is continuation of day 4~

other ficweek fics

DAY 6: “You’re offering to give me a kiss if I buy your shitty fundraiser popcorn? Well, in that case…”

What if I want it all?

Matteo doesn’t feel really close to his uni especially since he graduated, but sometimes those not cool people he had many occasions to meet have nice ideas. Like fundraising during uni events or sport days. Now he attends them all as well, because, well, it means no classes and despite his position he likes no classes. So except those extra people who do everything to show off their pretty/ugly faces or get some contacts in uni to pass easily, there are also those who actually care about getting money for some reason.

After he graduated he remembers they were fundraising for some orphanage, the other time for the hospital. There was something about the closest kindergarten, but Matteo doesn’t really remember what. Today there is this sports day; he will see all those ambitious students running around and competing like he used to, before he got bored with that.

He is completely sure he’s gonna die of boredom, but fundraising people gonna have it worse; they’ve always been poor unfortunate souls almost sleeping by their tents and those booths looking more miserable than kids selling lemonade in the States. Matteo looks the alarm on his phone screen shutting the snooze for third time with a sigh and turns in the sheets. Lyra meows at him probably complaining about this devilish device that wakes her up again. Good she’s too lazy to actually move the phone on his bed until it falls down and the screen breaks (happened once or twice; he’s never been mad for long).

“Just go to sleep, cat,” he mumbles and she hits him with her tail, completely offended by the name Ambar has been using since day one. “Okay, I’m sorry. Don’t hit me, I love you.”

The only reply from her is satisfied meow and her head rubbing under his chin.

He is going to be super late at uni, but also he will be super late at home in the afternoon, so snuggles with his girl are worth being late. When it’s half past seven he gives up; he needs to wake up and the only thought in Matteo’s head is deep regret of promising the professor he would be there for sure.

It’s not his favorite thing to do. Not even top ten.

Then this sudden idea hits him. What if Luna is gonna be there too?

They are nothing though. They haven’t started texting, calling each other or even talking about something else than class stuff. He can say he’s been pretty disappointed with this, but she’s been very good at acting the most casual.

It’s not like Matteo Balsano isn’t able to keep his chill for a girl, but there is something in her he can’t forget. How warm she was in his arms, how her breath tickled his skin, how her forehead felt under his lips. He accepted that; it’s not like anything would happen between them, or at least not now. Matteo gets lost in those thought and the next place he finds himself is by the door with his jacket and car keys in his hand. Before leaving he yells to Lyra that he loves her much and closes the apartment.

As soon as he takes first step into the campus he wants to take step back and run to his car. There is at least this luck of his that no one will bump into him even by accident since by some magic Matteo is really known at his faculty. No one would like to have a problem with nim and he is not sure if it is because of the fact they remember him from earlier or they just know who he is at this point.

He needs to find the professor right now to show him that his ass appeared here just like he promised. Matteo hopes he can just talk to the guy and go to Gastón’s to chill. Or maybe he should invite Gastón over?

Plot twist: professor told Matteo to check all places and make sure all students are handling their shit correctly and smiled saying he's been doing great. Matteo almost cried in horror, but he needs to do that. It's just that he really doesn't feel like smiling to everyone and being nice; he just wants to sleep and not remember about two tons of grading on his desk.

He sighs going to dart competition booth checking if there's really no way some high school kid kills or at least stabs themselves and bless, because they would only throw the dart at the organizing student, but that doesn't matter that much. He has to eat this disgusting free cake baked by some anti masterchef, hoping he won't get food poisoning. Of course, Matteo tells them they did great job and those students smile so brightly at him he can't say otherwise.

He almost gets hit when some high schooler tries to throw the basketball to the basket, but it's working in some way so he just tells them to chill and not to hit the cake next to them.

When Balsano is almost done with the papers and he notices on the last page the dog shelter booth and he immediately feels bad for not even thinking they are there. He has a cat himself so that's super nice to know someone cares about puppies enough to get money for them.

Matteo hasn't expected the person who is there though.

At first Italian just crossed his arms watching the person who is sitting by the booth. She rests her arms on it and her head is laying on top with really neutral face. The most hilarious thing about seeing Luna Valente here is the fact she's wearing sunglasses in the shade.

“I see you are having fun.” Matteo chuckles softly shifting his position slightly. She doesn't answer, ignoring him completely and he isn't sure what he did wrong, but something hits his stupid head and his fingers reach for her sunglasses.

Matteo bursts out with loud laugh making her jump on her seat. She has been shamelessly napping.

“What?” she mumbles rubbing her eyes when she sees it's him. “Let me sleep, please.”

“From what I know you're fundraising right now, little lady, not sleeping.” He lowkey curses himself for using this nickname he used during the party, but she seems too confused enough by sudden waking up to notice.

“I've been sitting here since seven am, and I am super tired, please Matteo, just let me nap.” He sighs and goes from behind the booth to sit next to her on the other chair.

Luna doesn't move away and he jumps with relief inside. “Couldn't sleep at night?”

Brunette lets air out quickly. “Yes, you should know it. It's your fault,” she mumbles and he almost chokes.

“I don't know if I should take it as compliment or-” He pokes her on the ribs softly and she jumps glaring at him.

“It's not. You wanted the test to be tomorrow so I was studying.” Her pout is definitely too cute to not smile at it.

“Well, I'm sorry I want everyone to pass.” Matteo shrugs and she growls resting her forehead on the desk when he continues. “How long do you have to sit here?”

“Until three.” He barely hears her mumble, so he has to lean his head next to hers.

“You poor thing, are people at least coming over here?”

“No, they are drawn by this shitty free cake because it's free. They don't want my popcorn.”

“You have popcorn?” Matteo raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah and it sucks as hell too. Why did I even agree to this?”

He smiles nudging her slightly. “I would buy your popcorn.”

Luna grins back at him and her eyes soften before she coughs violently, startling him a little. “There’s no way I would let you buy the popcorn.” Her head shakes.

Matteo turns to her on the chair hitting her knee with his and leans his elbow on the table. “Why wouldn’t you?”

Brunette bites her lower lip and picks up this small board her hands were keeping down. He hasn’t noticed it before so it wakes up his curiosity super quickly. “Because of that, like hour ago the professor noticed there wasn’t much money here so he looked at me and asked if I liked kissing people.” She shrugs and Matteo still doesn’t get what happened with that.

He softly takes her hands moving them away and raises the board.

BUY POPCORN GET A KISS SUPPORT PUPPIES

Balsano laughs out loud leaning his head on Luna’s arm. She growls pushing him away but he presses his forehead to her shoulder blade and keeps giggling until he feels tears in corner of his eyes.

“I hate you.” He can hear her murmur next to his ear.

Italian ignores her comment, which is completely, surely a lie. “And how was it? Have you kissed someone?”

Blush tints her already red cheeks and he suddenly feels uncomfortable when he thinks about her kissing someone. She opens her mouth unsure. “Like three people, I think. Maybe four, but one was in the cheek because it was too much.”

Matteo hates it. He hates the idea of someone having her lips on theirs. Even if it was for a second, they still got farther than he has ever managed. What is one kiss, one quick peck just to get money for puppies, though, compared to having her in his arms by her idea for an hour? He guesses that it is enough to not burn entire popcorn she has and pull her away from there.

“Was it nice at least?” Leaves his mouth before he can stop himself. Why the fuck is he digging the topic?

“I guess? It’s for the dogs after all, and the one girl who bought double popcorn was hot.” She rambles uncontrollably and it makes him chuckle, but in his head he is throwing all of the damn popcorn into a black hole.

“As long as she was hot, I guess.” He just shrugs.

“You don’t seem to be into that.”

Pout appears on her face along with small cute frown when he doesn’t really answer. He just looks at the watch on his wrist and hums deep in thoughts. Luna nudges him with her elbow waking him up, but she gets another shrug from him.

Brunette says nothing really for few minutes before he casually reaches for her hand and starts playing with star ring on her finger. “Do you have to stay here only until the popcorn is all sold?”

She licks her lips like involuntarily and sighs. “Yeah, if it’s gone before three I’m free.”

“I can buy it all,” he says casually, as if he’s talking about the weather.

“What the fuck?” Luna almost falls off the chair and he has to catch her waist to keep her up. “How would you do that? And what’s with all this popcorn?”

“I’m seeing my best friend this afternoon, I’m sure he would love to get some free popcorn from me.”

Luna giggles. “If you do I will call you my hero.”

“But you know…” he starts leaning closer, not sure what the hell he is doing right now, and smirking a little. “I’m gonna get the popcorn, support the puppies… So what about the kiss?”

Blush on her face grows much much and she looks super pretty. He has no idea what he wants to achieve, because looking at her recent actions she doesn’t really seem to want to be close to him in any way.

Matteo shouldn’t want that. He really, really shouldn’t.

Yet she’s the primary star to him; he can’t even try to gravitate away from her brightness and warmth. He thought he didn’t need anything except this he had already had, but then Luna Valente happened embracing him with her smile, with her happiness. No matter where he appears she is there and he wants to follow her everywhere as well.

They shouldn’t, but they are gravitating towards each other despite all shit that’s standing on their way. And there’s much of this shit.

Her teeth find her lower lip taking all of his focus when she seems to be thinking about that very intensely. “Do you really want to get the kiss?”

“Only if you are willing to give me one.”

His smile must convince her. His eyes must convince her. Something she has inside her head must convince her because she nods softly and takes deep breath, not really knowing what to do. Matteo can notice it, she’s super easy to be guessed right now, and - to his surprise - she wants to kiss him as well.

She just doesn’t know how.

He pulls the curtain that’s hanging around the booth and pushes it to cover them from any sight before he presses his lips to hers softly. Luna gasps surprised and pulls away after a second, but it’s dark, it’s dark and she’s confused, breathing faster and she probably feels super warm - judging by her blush.

And yet she pulls him back; her mouth slow when her hand reaches for his lacing their fingers. Matteo smiles widely almost making the kiss impossible, but she giggles as well and it’s as awkward as beautiful.

Because the brightest star on the sky is binary.

Gastón was the happiest seeing amount of the popcorn just for him.

After cold shower he had to take to chill down all emotions Matteo gets to the bed with big grin on his face. He has no idea what’s gonna happen now, or when, or if it’s gonna happen at all, but he got to kiss Luna and nothing would fuck this day for him.

He falls on the pillow startling Lyra and covering his eyes with his forearm. There’s this moment of silence when he feels her stomping over his chest and teasing his mouth with her paw. Italian automatically kisses it like he does every single time she does it, earning a content meow from her.

Suddenly he sits up catching her with his hands and placing her on his lap. His fingers brush through her soft soft fur making her purr and himself smile.

“You know that I love you, right?”

Lyra looks at him and meows again probably saying that she loves him back. Or at least that’s what he would like to think she says.

“And I love you very much,” he adds watching her carefully. She hits his leg with her tail, getting probably impatient.

“I wanted to ask you, because many things depend on you-” He stops scratching her chin and taking deep breath. “What would you think if I liked another girl?”

[shytiff]

Mar 2022

1 -  woke up late. seared chicken breasts that i bought from hypermart. ate chicken tauge and rice for lunch and chicken cheese sandwich and banana for dinner.

2 - morning shift at the triage. muesli for breakfast. a patient’s family got mad at me for not examining the patient lol. worked on Prof’s PPT and finally sent it at like 1-.30-ish pm

3 - picked up blanket laundry using nessa’s bike. ate two banana chocolate sandwich and felt sooo full. a safe afternoon shift, themed neurology lmao. got to eat my packed food of chicken, tauge and rice. got to pray isya too so all there’s left to do is shower. except i have to do some revision for Prof’s PPT.

4 - woke up at 5 am due to some weird dreams. prayed subuh. read eruri fic and tried to sleep again at 6.30- ish. woke up at 11. rheza fkui 2016 interviewed me for some start up competition. washed tri’s scrub. ate some muesli. sent the revision of Prof’s PPT. lazed and then slept again. its evening. ate 1 egg and cheese sandwich and 1 ceres sandwich. talked a bit with renata about resistance workout. purchased gift for fianti. night shift with the best team ever lol

5 - i find it difficult to nap in a short time limit huft so i didnt get to sleep. immediately packed my stuff, changed my clothes, packed muesli in my mcd tumblr and i arrived at the usual bus place at 07.05. surprisingly it only took ~2 ish hours to reach rest area. napped a bit at home. woke up hungry and ate mom’s tuna and egg sandwich. off to puri to meet up with friends (nila amel ratna maul) at seirockya. turns out maul picked up the bill for us ehehe yayy free ramen. at that point i felt suuuper full at the end of the meal. prayed, and we went to masterpiece karaoke 6 mins away (315k for 2 hrs). we alternated between dance-y songs and soft ballad-y songs lol. goyang dombret made me feel tired. sholat maghrib and waited for emir at nila’s place. felt sleeepy at bed. its the first time in a long time i feel sleepy immediately after entering bed

6 - woke up 11-ish. put myself together and ate. slept. played my phone. suddenly its evening. its difficult to sleep at night bcs of that evening and morning nap. finished reading The Companion. wept at the 2nd to last ch lmao. basically what i did today was just sleeping ahaha ;_; didnt even do borang

7 - left the house 5.10. talked lots with mom abs business etc etc and suddenly we arrived. thankfully there was no traffic along the highway. mom made sausage spaghetti for bfast yay. ate that and went to MCU. my vocal cord felt tired lol. went back to mess at 12, cooked sausage, egg and kangkung for lunch. back at the mcu at 14.30 and explained some mcu results. shopped online a bit today. listened to liqo while laying down and i end up fallng asleep and waking up close to 20.00 pm lolll. ate egg and cheese sandwich and its probably the best tasting sandwich ive ever made lol. drank protein and tried to sleep again but end up sleeping at 12 ish again, always, hufttt

8 - woke up at 8. i remember waking up when my alarm woke and i was not too sleepy but i end up sleeping again. i need to pull myself together. ate the last portion of muesli and granola. watched rob and zoe press junket on youtube lol, today’s shift theme is surgery lol. got 2 appendicitis patient, one was for OK cito that day at 22. met dr Enny and dr Gin Gin. 

9 - woke up at 9-10ish. mustered the courage to go out and buy egg and some other stuff. fried chicken and rice for lunch. im not motivated to do anything. arirang for dinner. binged some jerome-hitomi youtube vids. night shift at the triage with detri. quite safe

10 - got to lay down a bit at 5 am. kak yustin told the morning shift peeps about an accident that turned out to be a murder case. i walked a bit to palm hills, ate nasi uduk (and saw kak labib lol) and chatted with ibu nya, walked back, bought veggies. showered. sleep and woke up 13.30. ate 2 piece of oatchoco accompanied by chocolate milk. rly rly shouldve did laundry and ran at the evening but i ended up closing my eyes again. suddenly its close to maghrib. boiled carrots and green beans and fried fish nugget. felt full. and i ate some black thunder after. read some eruri fics and dj lol.still cant bring myself to do anything. typing this at 22.45 and i havent washed my hair and did the TWO things on my to do list today: hair wash and laundry. huftttt

11 - woke up late. finally managed to do some laundry. went to hypermart and bought some snacks. i somehow felt rly refreshed after going out, so much that i tidied up my table and opened up my laptop. also set up with snacks and matcha latte. did borang while watching belle. its a meh movie, with a rly nice animation and songs. tried to sleep early but always end up sleeping late

12 - morning shift. hurriedly cooked sausage for bento. its a nice vibe at the beginning of the shift until patients gradually come in. jajan cakwe. drank leftover matcha latte after shift. was in a nice mindset that dat, after shift. but im sleepy. wanted to run but ended up doing a bike ride for a bit. its fucking tiring lmaoo. cooked chicken (wrong chicken lol) for evening food. i basically tidied up nicely after isya and was settled in bed at 8 pm, but i read eruri fic, went pass my sleepy phase, and ended up not being able to sleep, eating 3 pieces of bread and sleeping at 1 astagaaaaa

13 - woke up at 9-ish. ‘prepare’ webinar (acls by dr radit) by iluni.  bought ayam geprek master and yall it tasted nice but its been a while since i had that much oil in one time lol. will have it for lunch and dinner lol. started reading Monster by Naoki Urasawa and it boggles my mind. went in it blind and im surprised to find the MC was a neurosurgeon lol. afternoon shift. 2 code blues back to back on the beds that was across of each other. 1 code blue followed by the other within minutes. well, talk about applying the webinar knowledge.. slept at like 1 bcs of manga lol

14 - somehow i could wake up for subuh prayer. tried to sleep again but cant, so i read manga again. nap again. cooked chicken fillet and sauteed veggies. ate it with leftover ayam geprek sambal yay some actual taste lol. its not that my food taste bad x))) its just softly tinted with flavor. triage for the night shift with kak jess kak rezha. 

15 - first time actually napping during shift. thankfully, i woke up when pak satpam said “dok ada pasien”. but surprisingly naps make you feel sleepy after shift, compared with no sleep at all. slept and woke up at 12. originally planned to go to cafe but i feel like i cant go to cafe when i just woke (i have to leave at 1ish to maximize hangout time lol) so maybe 2mrw. ate some bread to fill my belly a bit. heated up fillet and veggies for meal about 3 hrs later. binge read Monster again and i finally finished it. its amazing and mind boggling and the ending is ughhhhh. opened my laptop a bit and filled some borang. cant bring myself to think and work on ppt

16 - Went to Jannor and got my usual order. Unfortunately it was a bit rowdy that day, the patrons, lol. Some progress but less than usual if im on a cafe. Went to hypermart to buy kimchi but turns out online was cheaper so online it is. Had dinner at the nasgor place near indomaret. Bought kwetiaw special. Declined the drink lol so much that the seller insist i had a drink and said it was free lmaooo

17 - MCU today. muesli and some mini danish for breakfast. ate somay for the afternoon, with some more danish lol. bought sate padang for dinner. ordered a hotel lolll first time booking a hotel for my own self

18 - Afternoon shift. A bit more chaos than usual in the second quarter lol. did some more ppt work at night. called with ara and ical. tri joined and we end up talking about that murder case found in IGD. Talked and did PPT until my head hurts. its probably masuk angin.

  19 - woke up. did laundry. showered. end up doing ppt work at jannor anyway after zuhur lol. redeemed my 30 points for 7500 and tried vol. II kopi susu. as i thought, the original one is more delicious lol. vol II is more bitter. i think i dont rly like vanilla flavored coffee bcs i dont really taste the vanilla. did some more ppt in mess and sent the first draft to Prof. tried to nap before night shift but couldnt. busiest triage this month huffff. never rly had relaxed downtime until like 3.30 am. theres some moment to breathe here and there.

  20 - ate mie rebus, showered, got some cash at the atm, off to jakarta. soo sleepy that i keep on entering and exiting consciousness lol. woke up at serang (panickedly asked the bapak beside me where we were), woke up at the highway, and then suddenly its kb. jeruk. the kind bapak reminded my that kb jeruk is near. thankyou kind bapak :D took gojek to N hotel to leave my tote bag. walked to KFC. ordered super besar 4 and cream soup. cant manage to finish the fries. already fulllll. the cream soup is the nice liquid i need to stomach the burger and wings. hung out there to wait for the check in time. opened my laptop until the point when i cant handle the sleepiness anymore. checked in (apparently you dont need to literally wait for 14 sharp to checkin). short nap. a bit of ppt work. Prof requested a bit of change to the topic’s focus. oh welp. off to claypot. ate claypot ayam telur mentah and its rly nice for my wacked gums and growing molars. arrived at GI, prayed maghrib and waited for the movie. there was a BTS x Coway gallery and lounge! its a shame there’s no standee of jjk characters lol. its my first time trying out 4dx and its FUCCKIN AWESOME especially on the last fight of yuuta vs geto. arrived and done showering at the hotel at like 10. i shouldve just slept immediately but i play with my phone..... ;_; and suddenly its 11/12 pm. had difficulty sleeping bcs there were A LOT of mosquitoes, so much that my face was bitten in multiple spots and i got awoken like twice or thrice. 

21 - morning finally arrived. arrived at harmoni at about 6.45 and arrived in kalideres in a quick and breezy 25-30 mins. went to pkm kalideres for my teeth complaints. the dr gave rujukan and some meds. picked up by mom. ate nasi tim. finished the ppt (its so hard to find the will to) and sent it. 1 hr nap and its evening. went to hangout with clara at her house. we ate pecel lele and had quarter life crisis. picked up by emir at 7 pm. slept at 11-12ish.

22 - woke up a bit late to go to hermina. got number 70 in queue. ate my Subway sandwich while waiting. huh, it makes you feel full. but turns out even with bpjs i still have to book the doctor first so i cant go that day. so i went back and slept again lol. and then i had to go back to cilegon. dad and mom drove me. ate spaghetti along the way. the afternoon shift was a bit chaotic during maghrib times huft. ate mom’s muffin. and then its finally over. had some thooots about life priorities during the staring-at-the-ceiling time before sleeping

23 - woke up. ate oven-baked chicken katsu (fried ones taste so much more better lol), kimchi and rice. ate muesli just before shift. today’s afternoon shift is much more bearable than the previous day. ate mom’s muffin again for dinner. drank protein and talked with renata about our future after iship huuhu. crisis is basically everywhere.

24 - prayed subuh and slept again. ate muesli. went to BNI with mendel for rekening insentif. tried soto damkar (28 + 6K rice). it tasted nice and fulfilling and my stomach just loves soupy warm meal. evening nap. ate katsu + rice + kimchi and katsu + fries + kewpie for dinner lmao. kewpie just taste superior and so fucking good i dont know why. sent email to request for efin. filled this tumblr. BORANG HEYYY

25 - i think i basically did nothing today. night shift today at the triage.

26 - slept at like 1 am. woke up at 5.30 for morning shift. felt sooo sleepy. renata cooked seaweed soup and fried noodlezzz so i get to eat them after shift. tri renata and i went to maurice. tried salted caramel and tiramisu ice cream, and cadbury cheese cake. the texture of the cheese is a bit weird but it improved when put to the freezer.

27 - morning shift again with the same team of nurses (the kind ones uyey). the flow of patient was not a lot (thankfully!!) that i even get to listen to songs with pak jul lol and got like 2 hrs of absolutely nothing to do. nessa is already back and she bought bakmi acang!! yay. its deliciouss. didnt go to the cafe eventually lol

28 - cooked the last 2 katsu in the oven. ate them with kewpie (kewpie is so fucking delicious) and packed one of them for later on the shift. did laundry after stalling for like 1 or 2 days lol. evening shift with kak rezha and kak andri. there was quite a lot of patients, that eventually eased out at the last 2 hrs. i rly need to sleep immediatelyy but i ended up reading more fanfic LOLLL

29 - woke up at 4.30-ish. ate indomie and tidied my stuff. off to damkar at 6.30 by gojek (since maxims were all far away). arrived at rest area at 8 am. turns out mom already registered me so all i had to do is come and register at the policlinic. got called at 930 ish. the doctor noticed that i went to hermina when it was newly opened lol (mom said when i was about 3). he said i got impacted molars on the left bottom. so i had to get x-rayed first. did the panoramic xray and mom picked me up. ate nasgor. did some borang. relaxing at my room is always the besttt.

30 - woke up at 7 ish. ate mom’s nasgor. originally planned to take my radiography first but i guess it would have to wait since im already running late. took TJ to galnas and met up with fianti. saw 2 exhibitions. took TJ to sarinah from gambir 2. saw the rooftop and the mall. took gocar to kokas. ate fishnco (platter and caesar salad). felt so fulllll. played at amazing town. we finished at about 15.30. fi went home and i figured my way to ashta. took TJ (turns out there’s a small bus so there’s TJ even though there’s no obvious stop). but i took the wrong way (left from kokas). i should’ve went right. eventually got to patra jasa halte and then took the blok M one to bundaran senayan. walked ~12 mins to ashta. met up with regen. saw an exhibition and turns out the artist was there lol. regen said “when they said ‘culture’ it was our cue to leave”. sat at ashta marketplace. regen irun gave me a nanami cake omgggggg. talked a bit. and we moved to bakerman. bought some to bring home and tried nutella croffle with ice cream there. talked a bit, others did some borang. and then it was time to go home bcs mom picked me up

31 - woke up. prayed. slept again. woke up at 11-ish. lazed and played with my phone 2-3 hrs. there was a looming thought in me to, like, open your laptopp. but i didnt. ate at like 3-ish pm. ate some of the bakerman croissant. opened the package clara sent me, its a cute laptop sleeve. relaxed again. a bit of nap again loll. and then suddenly its 6 pm. prayed maghrib and then i would have to go back to CLG (the car is used 2mrw since dad’s going to the office). 

[shytiff]

Feb 2022

1 - ive slept so much and i slept again in the morning to afternoon lmao. wingstop and kangkung for lunch. afternoon shift that got hectic at 6-7 pm

2 - i rly riy dont feel like doing anything today huftt. muesli for bfast. slept. cooked the fillet tilapia for late lunch and ate it with kangkung. night shift here we go

3 - chaotic night shift without sleep. STEMI on fibrinolytic in IGD, altered consciousness due to suspected COVID myocarditis. hurriedly packed my stuff and off to AR. 7.15 from cilegon with arimbi and arrived at about 10.30 ish? ~3 hrs. ate truffle belly for lunch. napped. bought chicken master. i ate banana toast and chicken. fianti didnt want to go outside so she canceled going to pop up, but thankfull racheel could accompany me. watched venom carnage

4 - om amin came to ask for ailments for his medical complaints. off to racheel’s house. bts pop up at sency!! was so excited when i saw the actual thing. bought a brown hoodie at a 40% discounted price, totaling about 1.3 mio. imaging buying it at the full price lmaoo. its a good thing i came ‘late’. the actual price on weverse shop is just 95000 won (about 1.1 mio) and the delivery fee was ~30000 won. so racheel said its like im buying the hoodie without the tax. we tried to search for the mirror stuff in plaza senayan (and did not find it). lunch at mangkokku senayan park and saw the bridge above (even though the other part was off limits since youre supposed to bring receipt now) but its okay. we sat and watched two girls took some photos. walked to senayan jcc to go back. mistakenly gojeked solaria AND daily box for some reason. the portion of daily box was too little but the tteokpokki tasted good. 

5 - juan’s flight got delayed so i left the house before him (originally planned to go after he went). ate my smoked chicken solaria. off to the rest area. took arimbi bogor-merak (40k cost). left the house at 09.30 and arrived at mess 12.30. ate arirang bone marrow. afternoon shift was quite hectic even though the patients i handled totaled to 4 that shift. i rly need to manage time more. i guess im not used to heckin busy ER so its a learning experience. chatted in mess and suddenly its 12 pm

6 - woke up at 8. saw zihan frantically contacting me to ask about a patient. its my fault that i turned off my wifi. i shouldve turned it on... wonder why when im not on the radar stuff happen and when i turn on wifi nothing happens haha. afternoon shift and its quite hectic. sleep sleep!! u rly need to stop waking up so late

7 - i woke up late lol. cant bring myself to do anything. late bfast is cereal and late lunch is chicken breast. started cherry blossom after winter. its rly pure, wholesome, the characters are communicative, its sweet, realistic but entertaining without being too heavy. night shift today. got 4 handover patients. 

8 - did not get the chance to sleep. there’s some down time but its too short and my mind is too buzzing for me to take a nap. walked a bit to palm hills after shift. theres almost no one around, so much silence and nice nature sounds that i took off my headphones for a bit. ate nasi uduk at my usual favorite place. slept. woke up at around 11:30. my head kind of hurts for a bit so i ate muesli. read cherry blossom until the latest chapter (lolll its 100+ ch). activated my gopaylater and ordered some gofood but the gofood server was down so i ate 3 sausages and some chocolate waters for dinner. discovered yeogaeul and her vlogs are rly nice!! it portrays jkt in a whole different light

9 - woke up late (i rly need to stop doing this). bought some stuff from eat banoffee since it rarely gets promo. tried mini blueberry cheesecake, korean garlic bread and their kopsus. did some borang. its all delicious and the coffee doent separate from the coffee. ran a bit in the evening and bought fried chicken for lunch. 

10 - jjajangmyeon for sahur. morning shift. bought some chicken and fish from best mart. fried and seared the chicken. felt rly sleepy after iftar. 

11 - its rly2 hard to get off bed today. left the bed at about 12-ish. drank some leftover kopsus for motivation. ate chicken and rice with mayo and yeogaeul’s vlog. had patient with severe head injury that ended up with code blue. he didnot make it. i may or may not have heard some sounds of bones cracking... also had confirmed covid-19 patient with asthma. had to go back and forth to see the patient since there was no family with him. got free rice from igd. wa call with atikah

12 - i keep waking up late huhu. woke up with a bit of headache. ordered sushiboox cilegon. it tasted quite horrible that i forgot how sushis are supposed to taste like lmao. the denial was rly real to go to shift. cooked fish fillet and egg rice for lunch. 

13 - suuper in denial about shift. bought kanayam for lunch. laundry. evening shift

14 - liqo. ran a bit. bought some egg and groceries. night shift. couple of impatient patients. tried to sleep immediately

15 - woke up again to go to morning shift. ate left over sushiboox for breakfast. glad i ate that bcs i didnt get the chance to even pray zuhur bcs its that hectic hhh. ate macaroni and mom’s sauce and cheese. felt sooo full and sleepy. fell asleep. woke up. whatsapp call with ara for 1.5+ hrs. 

16 - woke up late. first day of period. all of renata’s group mates are positive, so i suggested that she also became “positive” lol. tri stayed away from us that day lol. ate renata’s cooking for lunch. shrimp and long beans. i rly miss veggies. tried oatside with protein powder and its delicious. the milk does not make me feel “eneg” on its own. ran a bit. went to superindo and it actually have some nice items with good price. it also has arirang. i also just figured it out this day that superindo has funcity. it has been a while since i last went out with my motor bike and it felt refreshing. filled the air on the tires. had sliced bread + egg and sliced bread + ceres for dinner. Read illegal You Do You book and tried DISC personality test. read natsumexmikan fanfic until late at night lmaooo

17 - woke up late. pretended to have swabbed lol. bought veggies. banana chocolate toast for late late breakfast. cooked veggies and ate it with sausage and kerupuk seblak. night shift today

18 - did not get the chance to nap. i could lay down but i felt anxious laying there while kaka2 DU did not sleep. mendel was scheduled for the morning shift but he cant come and the DU rly need someone on triage so i extended a bit while waiting for confirmation from bang esa and zihan. went back to get some food to eat for bfast. finished shift at about 8. kak uwi was very against me extending lol. off to jkt at 8.40 and arrived at rest area 11-ish but i waited for mom in indomaret. ahhh home sweet home. i basically just slept that day and woke up for dinner. and then i think i read some fanfic and slept

19 - mom and the rest went to living world, so i spent the morning relaxing and eating bfast alone. lazed. replied to Prof’s WA about new ppt that needs to be done. i rly need to get that done but yall know what happens hahaha. off to racheel;s place to meet up with silv dev. we ate yamin 33 and went to batavia pik. its a nice weather and we rented bikes and lazed on the grass. i got headache when i got back lol i think its bcs of the winds on the way and i onnly wore tshirt and not jacketed up. ate dinner at 9 pm and slept like a baby

20 - woke up and hurriedly went to racheel to surprise atikah. we bought fruits and kue tete. met up and talked a bit while eating moon chicken. and then i have to go back again. left the house 11.15 and emir drove all the way, supervised by mom. arrived at 12.40ish. lunch was mom’s sukiyaki and veggies in the fridge. afternoon shift with kak uwi kak yustin. hectic as always hhhh. trying to get used to this. talked about stuff with ness after shift and took a shower close to the day change lol

21 - woke up latee and opened my laptop to fill this tumblr and reply to chats. ate mom’s teriyaki meat and veggie. packed veggie, rice and teri for dinner. thankfully the shift with kak uwi kak yustin was... quite peaceful. i can breathe again. a quick google call with some peeps and pak jul peeped in lol. tried to quickly unwind so i can immediately sleep but i still end up sleeping at 12

22 - woke up, prayed, slept again. ate muesli (new muesli this time, still prefer sports muesli though). did laundry. did 1 youtube workout for beginner. watched some youtube. most of the laundry dried in the sun yey. ate rice (mom’s sukiyaki lmaooo i tried to eat it sparingly so it can last longer hohoho). opened up my laptop to type this while eating japota honey butter. night shift (w kak yasser kak ardi) at the triage. quite a “safe” shift. there was a bleeding pregnant patient and there was no midwife so Asoka told me to VT the patient first. i had no idea what i just did lmaoo thank god the midwife came. the moment i laid down at kamjag 3 patients came

23 - laid down a bit from 5 am. walked a bit to alfamidi after shift to take money but muamalat is acting up again. bought veggies. ate muesli. slept. ate mom’s sukiyaki uyey. never get tired of it. lazed. tried to open my laptop but end up downloading and trying tandem. there goes my chance to do borang 

24 - woke up late. muesli for late breakfast. i rly need to do some work so i went to DW (its been a while!) and tried to do ppt. there’s just a little progress but i got the gist of things to do for 1 ppt. labbaik chicken for dindin.

25 - morning shift. put my muesli and milk in the mcd tumbler and ate it at kamjag. a “safe” shift. still had some energy so i ran a bit after the shift and ate sate ayam. felt suuper sleepy so i laid down and end up falling asleep until like 8.30 pm. so much for saved energy thats supposed to be used for ppt making aaaaa

26 - woke up late. i always woke up late astagfirullah. and then suddenly its almost 1 pm and i had to shower and eat. packed muesli and cimory banana milk. safe shift alhamdulillah. got to eat the muesli and pray before the shift ended. no handover. i find it difficult to sleep immediately and lately ive been sleeping at 12 am. 

27 - wtfff i heard tri waking me up but i slept again and woke up at 10-11. lazed. ate the last of mom’s sukiyaki and tauge. i dont know why suddenly its evening. 

28 - ate muesli and roti sisir. slept. woke up before 12. put my blanket to laundry. ate at RM bu mamak (34k lol but the meatball taste like meat and the chicken was delicious) and went to jannor. i misss this place. the barista is different than who i usually see. the kopsus taste a bit different from usual. finished and sent 1 ppt for Prof. prayed at some random empty mosque. shopped a bit at hypermart. tidied up to sleep and put on sheet mask. slept quite early but i woke up at 10-ish due to headache. took PCT. eventually slept again at 12. im beginning to think that my circadian rhythm is fucked now. wide awake at night and rousing at 11-12 am huhu

[shytiff]

Small Oct Wins

1 - DL, its bts week on fallon 🥰🥰also chuseok, which means content >>>, cicil dk ikk, rapat sponsor and talked and raged with regen abt mpi and manhwa lmao, group call shiko

2 - DL, finished 4 dk ikk wow!!, read dear door sampe ujung

3 - DL, symptoms ipd WHILE trying to losten to resus cairan fkdigital and i failed to listen to fkdigital lmao in the beginning they talked abt different fluids, my kompre is in Nov!! Can take a slight breath of air. Cicil kompre

4 - DL, symptoms, ordered krispy face (tasted so so), started reading sign, its so hilarious but the antagonist just doesnt make sense. too dysfunctional

5 - DL, ea simulation (got cushing syndrome, yay us for rosc!), forgot my scrub pants so i borrowed from indah, the way back homd (PP motor) was hooot, cicil banifidi, talked with ara for 1,5 hrs abt mental health and past traumas lmaoo

6 - DL, cicil geri, read raise ga wa tanin ii

7 - formatif geri, originally meant to go to puri with atikah to get seirockya, but its closed. So we walked to lippo, got genki sushi takeaway, walked to carrefour where we parked, and on the way back atikah had this sudden idea of eating @ taman 45. So we did. We reminisced old memories while eating rice bowls and sushi at park. Sounded pretty great except its taman 45 lmaoooo. Took a nap at atikahs place and then i went back. Tried matcha cookie by Chips Chat Lexley, its too crumbly :(( the taste was so so

8 - was sooo drained i dunno why. Slept and lazed around until 11-ish after i managed to shower and eat. Rip stamina. DL. Formatif with stella manda, dr asti and dr fuady. Digorenggg. the dark chocolate cookie tasted quite good. Finally a cookie that did not fail

9 - helped ical and ara for simul kompre, e, DL, played among us with candra and solid, paused the game to do formatif ea lmao. i need to studyy aaa

10 - DL, my body felt tooo drained from 1 (one) exercise lol. Symptoms. Ordered mujigae and janjiw caramel latte 1L because 10 10 promo. lazed all afternoon. planned to run because it’s cloudy but wacana is life. Watched MOTS On:E with racheel. Gladi resik nemo. Saw hakken cosplay’s IG live. among us. i was an impostor with cibe (participant: 10) and i somehow won lmaoo. edited 2 pld article so i finally caught up! just need to wait some more articles from reporter

11 - DL, symptoms, wasted my time rereading vampire knight for the n-th time

12 - DL, QA KMKP, read banifidi while drinking janjiw caramel latte and on god coffee rly helps me to focus and not get sleepy, talked with ara abt her session with dr jiemi (emotion vs cognition)

13 - DL, there’s no class today uye, drank caramel latte janjiw at 11am and yall i somehow became productive. finished reading banifidi, 2Padi. 

14 - Became captain at simul today, kasus HPP, i forgot to put O2 wtf :((((, bought 2 1-L package from sbux dm after school, and with +15k you get green tea frappe so i sat there for a bit for DT, felt a bit better (like im a normal functioning person???? like i dont feel sluggish). cicil IKK, passed lvl 4 DL

15 - DL, nemo as 2nd operator, vanilla latte nyom, thats all folks unfortunately

16 - DL, theres no schedule today, woke up at 10 am, vanilla latte and cicil PT, cicil IKK (only did a bit today), among us and i was the impostor 4 times lmaoo

17 - symptoms, in the soop 7, e, read on/off its too hilarious!! Finished 1 sitasi kompre

18 - last in the soop ep :(, e, DL, tugas kasus harian geri

19 - DL, the table i bought has arrived!, cicil IKK, joined ukmppd course, started at 18:30, its now 22:36,  still 14 questions to go... 

20 - DL, qa discussion with group, bought some plastic shoe boxes online, its cheap and it is great, bcs my shoes used to sit there in plastic bags, organized some stuff in my room for a bit!! my metal rack looks less messy yay. dk ikk, les

21 - Started my day early (finished shower by 7:30), DL, finished 1 ltm ikk and 1 sitasi PT, JK went live in youtube with his long hair and undercut, and literally afterwards YG came on vlive playing guitar. Its a good day indeed :”) its cloudy today, just a perfect shared to listen to youtube’s lofi study playlist. Barely paid attention in today's les, i rly need to reread the forensic one

22 - DL, formatted qa docx, looong qa zoom, read the dops form, tidied up my stuff for tomorrow and while waiting for les the dumbass me didnt realize that the mic is on and i muttered "masker n95..." lmaoooo. Paid attention in les. Took a shower while leaving the zoom (q&a sesh) and turns out its finished at 22:45. Yalll the tutors dedication though

23 - simul, waited around a bit, bought halo bowl from grab since im at school all day, tried chicken pesto. made me feel full, tasted like a typical "healthy food", not too oily. OK in the afternoon, did not get dops (not surprised), was today years old when i found out you can park motorbike beside gedung putih. Went home while listening to kuliah guru besar. Passed out in the 2nd part of les (bedah). That adds more of my course debt lmao

24 - Im trying out habitica now so DL documentations will be moved theree, trying to add the habit of reading quran. watched in the soop behind and dalbang, watched the social dilemma halfway (message: careful of being the social media’s product), ate nayam, slept again and woke up at 5 pm, made status anes, les (the freshest ive been so far. maybe because its saturday night, there’s only about 25+ participating until the end from the usual 50+)

25 - woke up early and showered, slept again, ate breakfast at 12 pm with banana and 2 brownies i need sugaar, reviewed forensics (les), made half of ltm ikk wow im kind of proud, submitted asinkronus, eval nemo

26 - icu and simul, the way back home was pleasantly cloudy, slept and woke for les, read anti PT and oh my assisant since i cant sleep during the night

27 - did ikk ppt, read TO SOLID answers (i got 65 and i feel sooo stupid, but the grade somehow changed to 66 which means pass), slepttt during the afternoon, dk ikk was pending bcs dr Indri was still doing surgery at 18:00. Les

28 - Felt like doing nothing. Watched the latest dalbang, PT briefing, dk ikk, les. Thats it omgggg my time keeps flying away

29 - Started my day early (6:30am) since i slept all the time :):):)), finished 1 ltm ikk, tried truffle belly, the nanban one. good enough and the rice is not too much which is nice. i dont rly know how the truffle oil’s supposed to smell (ive tried tubo before but i still have no idea). chose wahana choice for MPI (bismillah!!), finished reviewing TO SOLID 1, les

30 - it took me a whole day to read 1 (one) sitasi PT but im still proud nonetheless, how did time flyyyy tf. You’d think that this 5 day “holiday” i would learn a lot for kompre (haven’t started) and quickly checked off my to do list. for les i pulled the table near my bed so i was half listening half reading Private Lesson while laying down lmao

31 - checked 2 acads to do (i feel like when i do things in advance there will be stuff that make me go "ah tau gt nanti aja"), bingeing romee strijd's YouTube and its miracle i dont feel like shit after watching it (they literally go do amsterdam from sg to put their bags and then theyll go to miami?!), afternoon nap coz i cqnt bring myself to study kompre, cicil kompre bismillah.docx, last day of les (im not strong enough to follow until the end, bailed halfway), read a bit of blood link lmao, WTF ITS NOV 15 MINS FROM NOW :((( (writing this after sheetmasking, its 23:42) still not prepared for ukmppd kompre God Help Me

And thats it for Oct! I feel like there were some terrible mood phases, some ok ones, and those rare days when im up and about and refreshed and feel like doing things (most days im a sloth). Hope to do (and feel) better in Nov