#i didnt expect that to effect me that much but seriously

[glitterdustcyclops]

anyway If you'll excuse me im going to step the fuck away from the internet and try to distract myself, take care of yourselves dumplings

[gritsandbrits]

My late night thoughts on TF ONE

‼️HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW ‼️

- Elita didnt die HELL YEAH i am so glad we are moving away from ignoring and fridging her

- Bee is actually bearable here, and knows when to take things seriously

- wow i think even animated sentinel would be disgusted with his counterpart cuz even he wouldn't resort to murder & stealing t-cogs

- megatrons turn felt a little rushed but he was still pretty cool

- i think optimus could use a lesson on how his brashness effects others

- JAZZ LIVES

- the joke over starscream's damaged vocals sounding 'ridiculous' is ableist

- the few times we see the quintessons are scary as hell! They're like a juiced up alien version of a drug cartel

- SENTINEL and Airachnid dynamic is basically adam and lute but good

- soundwave voice threw me off im so used to it sounding melodic

- i think optimus and megatron should've spent time with sentinel like they go to his "luxury" hospital or smthn, & they start seeing cracks in the facade, it makes them learning aboht his true nature a total gut punch

- Badassitron

- the music and visuals 5000/10 Will See again

- like they get pre Great War cybertron down PERFECTLY and the shifting landscape is *chefs kiss* MAGNIFICO

- like sentinel really is whay Magnifico could be as a competent villain and Airachnid is Evil!Amaya but she's the grunt and he's the macbeth (usually its the evil woman who is the thinker while the man is the violent one). She doesn't even betray him - i really expected her to be secretly plotting against him because this is AIRACHNID we're talking about but no she 100% sticks by him the whole time and she's not annoying bitch Pick me like discount Amity.

- basically its the same plot of WISH but with MUCH better writing, i know i said i gotten sick of seeing wish dragged through the dirt but even i can't deny TF ONE did a better job

- speaking of Megatron actually faces consequences for betrayal instead of that jackass Simon who was too easily forgiven

- the faces grew on me

- finally a transformers movie with a compelling plot without annoying white people im so happy

- also they put PEPPA PIG of all characters in the Hasbro logo and not MLP... the hell? This makes me confused on the state of MLP as a whole like does hasbro just not care for the brand anymore?

- the visuals the VISUALS i dont want a 2d animation fanbrat to come at this movie ILM blew it out of the park once again!

- somewhere a guro lover has died and went to heaven

- because oh my god they did not cut away at sentinel being torn in half at megs' hands.

- CLOSE UP. ON THE SCREEN. IN SLOW MOTION. I HAD TO COVER MY EYES BECAUSE I WAS SO FREAKED OUT!

- the trailers implied he was going to be murked by quintessons but his actual death is worse. So much worse... i wouldn't even wish it on Adam Hazbin.

- So glad they didn't make elita just the GIRLBOSS™, she was genuinely frustrated with the caste system that hindered her growth. she's what a girlboss should be, not a mindless bully. Lute could take some notes from her.

Lute: will you please stop?!

Me: hey im not the one so boy crazy i ended up getting jealous of a lesbian

Seth: ouch

Evan: Miss Lute why did you let Grits eat you up like that 🤭

- orion is essentially asha but the writers trusting him enough to carry the movie. I still like her but you can tell the crew didn't have much faith in her - which SUCKS!

- ooh starscream is a little kinky

- i didnt stay for the post credits scene because i had to leave to go to work right after, but whatever it was, i bet it was AWESOME

- i think movie 2 will focus on the great war and movie 3 would have the 2 factions united to stop the quintessons

- so happy they didnt try to shove in beast wars too, like i hope we get separate beast wars media

- alpha trion is so awesome, for the amount of screentime he ate every second of it! Kudos to Laurence Fishburne

- man... this sentinel is the logical conclusion to TFA!Sentinel if he doesn't stop being an asshole

- the celebrity VAs are good, really good they sound like their having so much fun and not phoning it in

- they gave bee his stingers love it!!

- the race scene was a feast for the eyes with plenty of laughs to go along with it!

- it's sad seeing megatronus being a genuine hero only to have his legacy tarnished now that Evil!Megs has his t-cog. No matter what side he's one he will always be known as The Fallen

- here you go Animation Twitter! you finally got your Unambiguously, Unrepentant, Enjoys Being Evil Villain! now can you PLEASE stop whining?

- the dynamic had such a genuine bond and i think megatron and elita are a flip of each other theyre both angry but elita learns to put it to good use and not let herself be blinded by it while megs is consumed by his

- orion and megs are actual friends, we see them laugh and hang out together. Whether you ship them or not this is a really good display of MegOp. Hell

- see you CAN make optimus a bookworm without turning him into a cop or librarian!

- love how playful orion is at the beginning he reminds me of animated with bits of cheetor

- the textures on the bots are so neat, you can tell sentinel never been in real combat because he's all shiny and stuff while everyone else has dents and scrapes

- the themes are handled a lot better than i expected, how optimus knew they have to fight sentinel but can't execute him either. How the wealthy would keep the disenfranchised down just to keep their place in society, the limits of idealism vs. Extremism, and blindly trusting your leaders

- also how we CAN choose who we want to be but that wont always work if you live in a system designed to fail you on purpose

- genuinely smart move to use airachnid's memories to expose sentinel's crimes

- the decepticons are genuinely fighting against sentinel but its also made clear most of them are just fighting for the sake of fighting. I hope they get more characteristics in later media

- megatron does raise good points but because of sentinel, Je thinks ALL primes are inherently evil when they were BETRAYED. HE EVEN SPOKE TO A PRIME! ALPHA TRION SHOWED HIM FOOTAGE OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENED, ARE U STUPID?!

- we agree this is better than anything out of bayverse right? It is also BETTER than the 86 movie because we actually get to KNOW the characters and the film strikes a healthy balance between light and darkness. Also the only deaths are the ones that matter.

- like finally another modern kids movie thats allowed to be DARK and not entirely sanitized for stockholders

- as for what i ate i had chicken strips and an icee; i combined cherry and Wild apple flavor it tasted alright. I should've snuck in a Chipotle burrito lmao

And that concludes my very messy, grammatically incorrect thoughts the greatest Transformers movie ever made! Go see it! Pay for it, theatre hop, pirate i don't care!

[atomra]

oh~ ! We can ask about Neuro too? Nice! My question is! How much do you love Neuro and what made you like him so much! Go nuts! Gush as much as you want!

Oh. Um well... a lot. To say it simply. LMAOOOO!!!! But Ill answer the specific question first before I ramble on and on.

I got into majin tantei nougami neuro from the anime first, fell in love with the macabre, psychological horror aspect and needed more! I started to read the manga and noticed how different it was from the show, and how bad the show was in comparison. The dark humour is hilarious, I love the looney tunes style vs the dark subjects of the plot. And the ending of the manga is one of the most satisfying ends of a story I have ever seen in media!

I didn't actually get that attached to Neuro right away, but he grew on me like a cancer and now hes stuck there forever. I also love the main MC Yako! She's an absolute delight of a character and matches with Neuro perfectly. I need more of their weird sadomaso relationship <333 (I love most of the characters actually)

Ultimately I fell in love with this work because it's incredibly unique. I haven't read anything that comes close to the balance Matsui was able to make of the crazy, silly, dark, and story of personal growth that comes out of MTNN!

Okay now under the cut I will ramble about Neuro Nougami in particular because it will probably be long:

-

Neuro Nougami I didn't actually like as much before, because back when i first read mtnn i didnt know i was into bdsm and stuff. I also wasnt that okay with his tortures, because I used to be uncomfortable with liking villian-ish characters before I went to uni and learned more about the world.

Oh, how that changed.

On the face of his character he is silly, OP, selfish, arrogant, and a fucking asshole that hurts people for fun. And even when you get into his character, he is still all of those things, BUT I like him particularly for a few key features.

His curiosity and willingness to fail at something new. Neuro has basically no shame + all the confidence in the universe. He doesn't see anything wrong with failing or looking stupid. Its very endearing. You don't see that... if ever in other overconfident/intelligent sided characters. His pride never gets in the way of learning, because he loves to learn!! He's a bird!! Birds love to learn and often look like idiots doing it. (I love birds)

His want to find use in people, even if he only sees them as pawns. Don't get me wrong, he is an asshole and is MEAN on PURPOSE, but he does like to see the best in people. He wants them to be better and pushes people to become better. Neuro also puts respect in people that show this growth. Just like how he HATES when people give up.

His trust in people despite his need for control. Seriously, like this man is controlling as hell, but he still can put trust in people to do certain jobs for him and deliver.

And his way of learning where people's lines are despite his need to torture, harm, and push information out of people. Neuro never truly puts Yako in real harm (debatable) and he eventually learns where her loyalties lie and how to adjust to them. He learns to be good with people even though he has no understanding of human emotion. (so he says, he still feels emotions he just doesnt GET it)

THAT HE'S STILL SILLY AND NEVER BREAKS HIS COMPOSURE!! I LOVE THAT HE NEVER YELLS OR GETS SUPER MAD IN THE WAY YOU WOULD EXPECT A PERSON WITH OP POWERS TO GET!!! It makes him... so fucking scary. You never see where his limits are. You never see how much power he really has. You never get to see how far he will go to hurt somebody that wronged him. You only get tastes and its so fucking effective. I wish more characters were like this. Make me wonder!!

And of course, I love neuro for his weird use of bdsm. Its clear in Matsui's other work that he's done research, despite how comical and looney tunes it is displayed in MTNN by neuro. But my second read of MTNN when i was older now, I realized just HOW MUCH of neuro and yako's relationship is just... an odd bdsm thing. LMAO!!!

And I didn't realize how much that really engraved into my brain when i was younger until i read it over again. It made so much sense. For all the previous facts I mentioned, neuro is the only anime character who's threats I can actually take seriously. Because he is genuinely scary to me. That 'discomfort' as a kid made me realize stuff nowadays. Whoops!!! I love him because he freaks me out!!

Alucard gets so close, but not as hard hitting as Neuro. And I also like that he has a level of morality, and isnt just all fucking evil or gross. He's just a weird demon who eats mysteries.

Sighs, anyways I could go on but Ill leave it there for now. Thanks for asking!!! I love him!!!!!!!!!!!! He's so fun to dissect as a character!

Oh, and I hate his fucking suit. Burn that shit off. He's a weird goth and everybody knows it.

[about27th]

job hunt tipssssss (and lessons learnt..)

tailor your resume to each position you apply

(1) always make your employers' job easier

include only the relevant experience and keep the descriptions straightforward.. recruiters are basically just ticking boxes, make it easy for them to do so or expect them to bin your CV after a quick glance

(2) have too many part-time/work gaps?

i highly recommend using a skill-based CV than a chronological CV for this case; not only is it waaaaaaaaaay easier to prepare but also makes your experience look more put-together since you can mix & match your relevant skills.. give it a shot if you've inconsistent work history or want to have a career change; i should mention it's also a game changer for people whom English isn't the first language

(3) review your cover letter before heading to an interview

i mean you've already explained why you're a great fit for the job in the application, just take advantage of that effort and reiterate everything during the interview --- preparation done!

dont use the same answer for interviews

.. it'll definitely make you come across as average

there are 3 key and frequently asked questions you should be ready for:

(1) tell me about yourself

start with a basic introduction, followed by your previous work experience (again, making them relevant to the job) and wrap up with a glimpse of your personality -- for instance, say something like.. I see myself as an ambitious and self-motivated person (.. and how these qualities fit the job profile!)

(2) what do you know about us/ why do you want to work for us

always research the company; mention its values or services, and how they resonate with you

(3) what can you offer us/ why do you think you suit this job

highlight how your experience aligns with the job requirements; this demonstrates your dedication and preparation.. and also shows the employer what they can expect from you

i hate interviews (who doesnt?).. i believe many of us are very qualified for jobs we're interested in but often struggle to demonstrate our competence effectively; my way to make the process less agitating is to view it as a cool opportunity for employers to learn about us: it's not an exam.. rather, it's a level playing field where two or more strangers come together to mutually explore each other.

This is your chance (after putting so much effort into preparing the application) to shine and let them know you're the perfect fit for the job they're offering!

never trust the reaction of the interviewer!

some interviewers acted super affirmative to each of my responses, making me feel like i was nailing the interview.. but then i ended up getting no job; i understand the intention is to encourage interviewees during the process, but pls dont take them too seriously and get carried away

stay focused and humble instead

always reflect after each experience (exactly what i'm doing now)

it's important to reflect on your performance and seek improvement for future applications

i always discover areas that could be done better while preparing for new job applications, even though i felt that i'd already given my best for the last one

the competition is fierce but dont worry about competing with others (what you cant control); instead, concentrate on what you can control --- demonstrating how you're the best candidate!

always put yourself in your employer's shoes and do the homework; focus on the good and keep trying, one day all your hard work will pay off and get the job you deserve

.

(i regret so much that i didnt perform better during my interview🥲i dont want the same to happen to you, pls take my tips and prepare as much as you cn💔)

[catwyk]

ok i finished malevolent season 1 and i have a LOT of thoughts that im gonna write down becausr im bored. spoilers for season 1 and warning for me being a picky listener !

first off. HARLAN GUTHRIE THE MAN THAT YOU ARE. insane that this guy is doing ALL the voices?? AND all the writing??? AND all the editing and sound design????? WHAT the fuck. honestly the fact that hes (almost) the only guy working on this podcast kind of negates all my gripes n nitpicks

i LOVE the arthur/john dynamic. it reminds me a lot of venom and eddie brock but its def distinct. and its great

i rlly appreciate the amount of guidance john gives arthur, i think more would be realistic but tedious so this is a good compromise

now. speaking of realism. my main gripe

(i feel like this is gonna be a very subjective take so yknow dont take it too seriously)

two main things kind of bother me: arthur recovers from major injuries SUPER QUICKLY, and in 12 episodes he has only eaten once. yknow that post where someone's talking about their immersion in period pieces being broken by the chicken breeds bein wrong? this is very much how i feel LMAO like ok theres a supernatural healing element (this too shall pass) fine yep good. but arthur should NOT have been up and walking and ROWING so soon after a month of coma. he loses a shitload of blood from his abdomen TWICE and sure he has major reactions but after that he just sort of. keeps going. and not to mention THIS GUY DOESNT EAT HOW IS HE HEALING!!!!! SIR!!! YOUR MACROMOLECULES SIR!!!!!

obviously if we were with him every single time he eats and for every second of his recovery it would absolutely drag so im not expecting him to be seeking out food every episode but this is another compromise issue that i feel like isnt as well balanced as john being arthur's seeing eye eldritch god

but again this is probably just a case of me being sensitive to certain parts of realism that other people arent so this is very much a nick picking complaint

as for the writing, i rly like the diegetic framing of the narration as john describing any given situation to arthur

however i think an unfortunate symptom of this is that sometimes the narration feels overly descriptive and eloquent in situations where it shouldnt be. like when theyre being attacked by the amphibious river creature, john says something like "stomach and ventral area", which was honestly. So unexpected it took me out of the scene entirely i was just like he would not fucking say that lol

another thing is sometimes the tension building does not work at all. the rising strings feel too cliché to have any real effect, and the way john speaks about horrors can get repetitive to the point where it just doesnt bother me. "fuck. arthur.... there's *something* in the water/in the room/hunting us". that kind of vagueness doesnt work well for me a least anyway, but when its happening every episode or more it really gets old

anyway that being said i think those are my only real complaints and i think theyre so subjective anyways so like do they even count

also im heartbroken im unable to stop myself looking up spoilers bc the john is the king on yellow reveal would have been so cool if i didnt know it was coming

and the fanart. is so fucking good

[starofhisheart]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR OFMD S2 EP6-7 under the cut

Ok, that was A LOT. I have so many feelings but no coherence so i'm gonna do this bullet point form but def not in order, just in order of me remembering wtf happened lol

-IZZY AND WEE JOHN IN DRAG!!!!! Wee John looked STUNNING with that Divine-esque appearance and Izzy had that transmasc drag king kind of thing going on (iykyk) that made me love him even more

-Izzy singing LA VI EN ROSE took me tf out!!! i'm glad he got to finish it after the *ahem* distractions bc Con's voice is so beautiful I could listen to it forever. We better get it in the album!!! Also someone posted the lyrics translated and i cannot get over the lyrics:

"It's him for me,/And me for him, for life/He told me, he swore to me, for life"

-But not only was he singing the second half had fucking gentlebeard doing the dirty in the next room asdfghjkl which.....was hot, ngl. The passion was electrifying. I'm sorta glad we didnt rlly see it with everything that happened after bc it all kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.

Also Stede Bonnet canonically gets turned on by violence confirmed

Or trauma. Whatever.

-What else happened in ep 6 cause all i can think of is drag and singing and sex-

-oh yeah there was that shortlived sexually-charged torturer who i distinctly recall him being in another scene in the promo so unless that got the cut perhaps he's not dead...?

-Lupete missing all the action cause they were doing the nasty all night lmao so real

-Jim best wingman (gender neutral)

-Stede...Stedey boy, can I call u that? Now i'm gonna say this nicely, but WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? Stede in his white guy w undue confidence era fr. Zheng Yi Sao was so right for what she did truly

-But in all seriousness i feel like this whole thing in ep 7 was such a parallel to s1 but also a very necessary bit of conflict in their journey together that was bound to happen. THey want different things and neither is wrong or right for that. Stede did react poorly tho but like he just had sex w the love of his life, his first man, and Ed the very next day is like "aight i'm out". I'd be pissed too. After killing someone which we know is a big trigger for him historically.

But Ed also had a valid reaction. He's wanted to retire for a while and stede knows this but it hasn't seemed to have sunk in quite yet. He fears that Stede only sees Blackbeard and...its fair of him to have that impression tbh. These are two messy, traumatized dudes who have never had a real relationship and there's gonna be bumps. I hope we get s3 so we can better explore that like Djenks wants.

-Ok back to the fun stuff:

-Izzy barging in on GB and the docking joke. love his cringefail ass.

-IZZY IS HAPPY FOR ED EVEN IF ITS NOT WITH HIM

#growth

-the edizzy apology which was so typical of them. i expected it but bc i'd been building it up in my head all week w twitter pals it felt a bit anticlimactic but thats not the shows fault. it was very much in character and if they're satisfied so am i. i always have fic for more

-stizzy commiserating over losing ed pls thats all i've ever wanted!!!!!

izzy: "when i told him i loved him he-"

stede, like he's heard this story before: "shot u yes"

and the look they gave each other after!!!!! stizzy nation how we feelin?!

-izzy being like "stede no" when he was on his macho bullshit w zheng yi sao (also motivated by trauma bc he just lost ed, he cant lose MORE family!!!). i just like how protective iz seems of stede now.

-izzy''s "you're good for him" CRYING THROWING UP ETCETERA

-ed catching 1 fish and deciding thats his life now. adhd realness fr

-the swede whew is it hot in here or is that just jackie's effect on her husbands?

-jackie and ed actin like old friends. swede highkey shading ed adfghjkl

-anyway im sure there's more but i need to rewatch. there r things i wont go into bc its possible spoilers for the finale (tho its mostly just speculation some is based on bts not everyone may have seen). i am looking forward to and terrified for the show to end next week thats all i'll say

[randomalistic]

I just watched Star Wars a new hope for the first-ish time. And . I have a lot of thoughts about the way movies are Preserved and re-presented and how they Interact with society. And this is also just a general review lol

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO NEVER ENGAGED IN STAR WARS MEDIA EVER so I’m very biased towards Not Getting It. I know this is a deeply beloved franchise so I have to. Speak carefully.

Maybe I just had super high expectations due to the Entire Cultural Phenomenon thing. Like who wouldn’t have high expectations this is literally “The Movie of All Time”. It’s kind of unfortunate how much pressure there is on it in that sense.

TLDR: My favorite parts were when r2d2 screamed like WRREEOOOWWWWWW !!!!!!!!!

ANYWAYS. My opinion (uh oh)

The sets and the effects were OUTSTANDING. As expected. I just wanted a little more main character depth but I suppose that’s what sequels are for

I had fun watching it the special effects and all the weird creatures and robots were my ultra favorite part but…….. UM) the pacing was weird and there wasn't enough tension. Was that just me ? Maybe I was just tired . But .. idk man…

Actually no I can forgive first installments for being a little shaky and awkward. This was literally made like 45 years ago. Like there weren’t a lot of insane movies like this back then so this is kinda just what you got.

But yeah some character depth was left to be desired. Some characters were a little too cold and emotionless like Luke's HOME was destroyed and his Aunt and Uncle were INCINERATED TO SMOKING SKELETONS & he had almost no reaction. Like can the characters be a little traumatized please . nobody cried in this movie. I know they're going through a space war so maybe Leia is a little more cold and callused. But Luke?? Luke is just a kid… even if he didn’t care about his aunt and uncle That much, he should have had a stronger reaction.

I completely get that this was 1977 and there was probably a lot of stigma for a protagonist male character expressing that amount of vulnerability and grief in a MOVIE. That would have been unheard of. At least I assume so.

But it’s such a shame because Luke is the person we’re viewing this movie through he’s like the audience stand in. And unfortunately when he doesn’t care/show emotion, I also find it more difficult to care and get invested. Not that I DIDNT care. It just made me take it less seriously and affected tension. That combined with the funky pacing also affected the tension poorly… so I was finding it hard to stay engaged. aside from seeing the silly creatures every once in a while. But maybe that’s also because my dog kept interrupting me lol. Again ☹️ this movie was meant to be watched in a huge theater… 40 years ago.. maybe it just doesn’t translate ?

I was also not a fan of leia and Luke becoming instant love interests like. how did that even happen they just met. have they had a single conversation. AGAIN it’s just because it’s an old movie I should cut it some slack. But it just left a lot to be desired. I think that’s because what I care about in movies the most is the characters and their personalities.

I think this movie was definitely more of a “this is a technological marvel with an amazing score and incredible sci-fi action!!” And less of a “this is a movie showcasing AMAZING and COMPLEX CHARACTERS” the human characters are pretty basic im sorry to say. But like. how can I criticize that when this was like the first movie to make those character types basic

Maybe it’s because living in a hugely inspired-by-Star-Wars-world it’s just gotten so.. old? Exhausting maybe? Western society expects that you’ve seen Star Wars. “You haven’t seen Star Wars?? Are you kidding!! It’s a classic!!” Maybe I’ve just seen these tropes so many times I’m unable to properly appreciate the sheer creativity and groundbreaking nature of the original. Which if that’s true, is genuinely unfortunate. I wish this film could properly translate itself to newer generations but you would have to consume it in a vacuum I swear. Which is weird. Because a movie with similar cultural impact like the Matrix still had me engaged when I saw it. I DONT KNOW MAN. THIS MIGHT JUST BE A ME PROBLEM.

I’m just saying its popularity lessens the impact of the franchise and changes the viewing experience a lot.. especially with the longer you wait to watch it. Which wasn’t a problem for the people watching it in the theater for the first time!! Of course it was magical and unlike anything people had ever seen before!! In that era It hadn’t become obnoxiously popular yet (I mean this in the nicest way possible.)

Anyways. Characters I did like. R2D2 was cute and him and c3po had divorced couple energy. I think their scenes were my favorite. It’s a big scary world out their for a couple of silly gay droids. I mean what.

Han solo was kind of a lovable asshole until he decided to be a mysoginist.. 💔I am used to taking old movies with a grain of salt but should I really have to tolerate that kind of stuff. SORRY ITS AN OLD AND VERY ICONIC MOVIE . I NEED TO GIVE IT A MASSIVE GRAIN OF SALT. But yeah Leia is the only female character besides Luke’s aunt. It was 1977. At least they made her badass and shoot things yaaay

(Unfortunately I watched it on a stretched out DVD version but this gif looks like better quality lmao. AGAIN… LOSING THE ARTIST INTENTION BY WATCHING ON A DVD💔 it’s so sad man.)

OK FINALLY SOMETHING ELSE I LIKED. (Everything I don’t complain about you have to assume I Enjoyed okay. I just don’t have much to say about those things lmfao) but yes I liked Obi Wan and Luke’s mentor-student(?) relationship it was very sweet. I liked their interactions!

It’s kind of funny he cared more about Obi-Wan dying more than his house and family LOL. BUT THAT SAYS SOMETHING!!! THAT REALLY SAYS SOMETHING. IT SHOWS HE CARED. HE SCREAMED “NO!!!!” WHEN HE SAW IT HAPPEN. And he felt awful afterwards and Leia comforted him, IF ONLY FOR A BRIEF MOMENT before flying around and having fun again. But that was THERE!! and that was real character depth okay.

I SWEAR I ENJOYED IT. I WILL PROBABLY WATCH EMPIRE STRIKES BACK JUST TO SEE IF IT IMPROVES BC IVE HEARD THATS THE BEST ONE. but yeah. silly and cheesy sci fi adventure with tons of creatures of COURSE I liked it. It’s an AMAZING MOVIE and it’s ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL MOVIES IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY. But that means IT SUFFERS. It suffers because of Society. I’m the joker now and here’s my Star Wars unpopular opinion. I didn’t expect anybody to read that far. Thanks.

BUT I HAVE. one last bitchy complaint. I know the opening scrolling text is the most iconic movie thing on earth and I should Appreciate that. but TALK ABOUT INACCESSIBLE LOL I COULD BARELY READ THAT SHIT. IT FELT LIKE I WAS WATCHING WINDOWS MOVIE MAKER. THE SLANT MADE IT SO HARD TO READ. You could only read the full sentence when it’s like in the Middle of the screen and by then it’s already shrinking and scrolling AWAYYYYY!!! GHAAHA it’s so bad. (affectionate) but I think it’s charming how Bad the opening scroll objectively is and yet it’s still so beloved and iconic. (I promise I mean well.)

Ok on second thought maybe it was the DVD that messed it up even more. Sigh. Because this looks perfectly fine. THATS SO UNFORTUNATE THAT SOMEONES MOVIE EXPERIENCE CAN BE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DEPENDING ON IF ITS WATCHED ON A DVD OR IN A THEATER OR ALONE OR WITH OTHERS AND THERES SO MANY FACTORS UGH!!! This cannot continue.

[antichristual]

a small fic request: some fluff about Papa IV. pairing can be reader insert / one of the ghouls / OC or platonic relationship is okay, too. maybe a birthday fic would be nice...? 😊 thank you in advance if you will write this 🧡

HELLO ANON🫂 !!! this is my first time doing this, im squealing over the fact that people actually sent in requests..literally so sorry it took me so long to post this, i wrote it like two days after you sent this in and then i just never posted it cuz i didnt like it at the time, i think it okay now though, so here you go! also im not sure if this was for your birthday, but if it is then happy birthday :3 most likely very late

You had been part of the ministry for years now, working alongside Sister Imperator, making sure all of the pieces of the tours stayed on track. Keeping them all together was hard work, and it had slowly taken a toll on you. Sometimes the looming idea of another long day amongst ratty organisers felt like carrying a bag of bricks on your shoulders. You were some hardy earthen clay, but this much going on in your head was a hydraulic press.

It had been a rough day, Sister had said it herself as she sipped on a random cup of coffee she had laying across your planning table. You didn’t know how she did it, keeping all of it in and still making such a wonderful outcome. She had kept you in late today, for some odd reason. All the work was done, you’d already stacked all the maps and papers and booking files for the next tour together in one, intimidating pile. Every time you tried to leave though, she would call you back to look over very random things.

“How does this email look? I want it to be perfect.” Sister Imperator mumbled timidly, with a strangely still smile, like she was keeping a terrible secret to herself. Everybody knew she had the most pristine email skills in the world. It should’ve been criminal how that woman could get anyone under her thumbs with the click of send or a meek phone call. Of course though, you nodded and returned to the table. Leaning down, you ignored the crimp ache in your back and read through the— as expected— incredibly well written message. It was condensed but not lacking what it needed. Simple, quick, effective. That was how she rolled, and she executed it with a clean cut every time.

“It’s…fine, Sister.” You replied after a quick pause, holding a heavy drawl in your voice. It was your birthday, for hell’s sake, and all you’d done all day was work. Your eyes hurt, your spine feels twisted and damn…how does your right leg go half numb? Don’t get it wrong, you loved your job; and you didn’t blame anyone for having you labour on your special day. You were just tired, and yearning for your comforting bed in the abbey.

Sister Imperator closed her laptop with a swift hand, the screen coming down across the keyboard silently. A look of sympathy flashed in her eyes, followed with a sparkle of guilt, almost as if she were hiding something from you. “I’m sorry for keeping you in, you know how this gets.” Her hand waved sluggishly over the table. Following her gesture you pondered over her words, eyes fogging over briefly.

“I do, Sister. It’s not a problem. Um…” You looked sideways hesitantly, your bag hanging limp over your shoulder. “Is that all?”

She opened her mouth quickly to say something, and your knees drew somehow more magnetically drawn to the floor at the idea of her proposing another task. In a split moment, her lips sealed.

Sister’s eyes dashed to the doorway behind you, and a riveting smile dashed across her face. Satan, she looked so excited you half assumed you’d turn around and see the anti-christ himself waltzing in with a pretty bouquet of wild roses. Your feet dragged against the floor as you spun to face the door. You were seriously contemplating popping out to go to the store, and maybe grabbing a nice treat so you could at least get yourself something nice on your day. Almost immediately— after your sleepy head processed the sight in the doorway— a sweet warmth bubbled in your chest.

Copia stood there in his usual zip-up jumper, lazy sweatpants underneath, and the most gorgeously handmade cake ever in his palms. Weakly lit candles burned in the middle, lighting up the cute piped icing around the edge. You swayed on your feet with the soft mellow melting down your heavy limbs.

“Happy birthday!” He blurted awkwardly, removing one hand..dangerously..from the cake to make jazz hands…jazz hand? You just stood there, eyes wide and fatigued, a pure smile tugging helplessly at your lips. Copia shuffled forward to put the small cake on the table before he shucked his hands to his hips, a little proud expression over his usual.

[rolandkaros]

i remember that mana shim said that part of the reason why she didnt want to speak out originally about her abuse was because there was so much concern about the nwsl folding like how the wusa and wps did. that there was this feeling like 'i dont want to be the one to ruin it' because so many of these women had fought so hard to get a professional women's league started in america. these players had a minimum salary of <$7,000 and were expected to try and play full time professional football on that salary. non-national team players had a salary maximum of $31,500. many of them worked multiple jobs to fund their careers.

i can never really take arguments about the quality of women's sports seriously.

women's football was banned completely for 50 years in england. 50 years, the men got to play and learn and improve and adapt. 50 years, the men's game evolved. and 50 years, the women were banned. are you don't think that might have an effect on the sport as a whole? many other women's sports had similar bans at one point or another.

the men can do virtually whatever they like and get paid hundreds of thousands – millions, even.

did you know the manchester united women's team got a brand new, team specific building last season? and in june it was announced that the men's indoor facility would be needing to go under construction so it could be "revamped"? and that the women's facility was handed over to the men for training? and that the women will now train in portable buildings?

but yes, of course. talk to me about the product. talk to me about quality. because we must be objective, we must look at the numbers. its so obvious, of course, the men are simply outperforming the women! the men must be better. there is no other explanation.

[nonsenuser]

the piano teacher (2001)

this movie has been on my list for a while, 1. because i too am a piano teacher so duh and 2. 'perversion at its wicked best' is too interesting of a hook to ignore. i did keep removing and re-adding this from my letterboxd watchlist because i was worried it would be either way too freaky for me or just too uncomfortable (recently i've realized my threshold for things in movies has gotten pretty high and i tend to overestimate how disturbing something might be, not that this wasn't disturbing).

from the way people were talking about this movie i was expecting something like 'yeah its called the piano teacher but theres barely any piano in it' or 'classical music culture is used as a metaphor and you could replace it with anything' and while the first is just not true and the 2nd *might* be true it is a really smart choice to have erika be in this profession and for most of the characters to be classical musicians because of the kind of personalities and attitudes that are portrayed are somewhat normalized and encouraged within the field.

i can only speak from direct experience, I took piano classes for several years (4-16 years old), had a pretty strict russian teacher and have met people who took it extremely seriously, to the point where they experienced great metal distress from piano. i never took piano as seriously so it never was like that for me (for a while), i was good enough to basically never practice, my parents never forced me to do it and i started pretty young so i was able to finish all my levels before high school ended. i think being around that positive environment and always knowing i would never take piano that seriously is what made me love it for a very long time.

I think after i finished all my levels and did more music in high school strings and started learning stuff on my own, I was really challenged and while I did understand that yes I had talent, it was a punch to the gut to get unfiltered criticism about my skills. I questioned for a while if i would ever pursue music seriously (like as a teacher AND performer) but it became evident to me that i just didnt want to become the stereotypical pianist (like erika).

back to the movie.... erikas character is obviously taken to an extreme because of her suffocating relationship with her mother and her intense sexual desires, but having the classical music setting as a background is kind of perfect to bring all of this attributes into focus (and even enhance them)

it has been explained in great detail why the abuse, sexuality and psychological effects of it intertwine so well but i think its worth mentioning how the music that is discussed plays a huge role in all of it. erikas expertise is schubert and he is a romantic composer, meaning his pieces are very expressive and full of dynamics, ornaments and accents. its kind of ironic that erika says his music is not just 'loud and soft' but moves between 'a scream and a whisper' because we rarely if ever see erika display this range of emotions for most of the movie. and with my minimal time around professional classical musicians... ironically this is the type of personality that is encouraged. the seeming husk of a person able to perform beautifully with huge range of emotion.

completely unrelated, but the scene where the hockey boys come onto the ice and essentially force the figure skaters to leave? yeah you could say thats how erika and walters relationship ended up playing out.

theres so much more to talk about but i have to think about it more and then i'll add to this post here but wowow. new fave movie for sure.

[ginevrafangirl]

Love Between Fairy And Devil Commentary Part 3

The final one! Excerpts from my reactions while watching episodes 25-36! Apologies for the delay

Part 1 | Part 2

SPOILERS ahead!

when did shangque fall in love with her anyway i feel like it snuck up on me. like it was obvious it was going to happen, but the how happened subtly

the grooms need to get DRESSED

it would be hilarious if girlie and sauron get together now and kiss and people see and incest rumors cause the weddings to fall apart

wow sauron looks SO weird with his hair up

a red wedding is about to happen // its snowing as well for maximum effect

he cannot control hellfire well anymore he really should not be doing this

i love that him being 'injured' means he got eyeliner and dark lipstick

she didnt fail the tribulation besties she is fine

FINALLY we get a badass moment from girlie

wdym 'why cant i control hellfire' its obviously cause you have emotions again

have i mentioned how much i hate jin guangshan

did she just feed him her blood to heal? what in the svsss?

girlie's 'i want to jump into the river' after getting caught locking lips was so cute

also why is everyone acting like they dont know why sauron cant use hellfire // i mean he was against her restoring his emotions for this very reason??

god i knew they were gonna be disgustingly cute

i think jieli was prettier in the mortal clothes but girlie is definitely more gorgeous in her immortal robes

i really appreciate the little comedic moments scattered through this show

omg this is beautiful // the women singing together for the return of their men // very avatar like

DAMN that was an eventful two episodes // the wedding happened, batman appeared, everything went to plan, batmans identity was revealed, girlie and sauron finally kinda got together, danyin and ice man came back and girlie's true identity was also revealed

its so crazy that they are saying they need to settle the score as if sauron hasnt regularly whooped jack frost's ass completely

girlie you were happy as a mortal cause you were rich

omg she is literally 'i see you as a nice friend'-ing him rn. i didn't expect this level of self awareness

sauron feeling proud of dragon boy for scoring a date

sorry dragon boy jieli is a businessminded woman

i feel like a matchmaking auntie watching these cuties together

oh good batman backstory // he literally has no parents. but he is also blind like a bat. and uses sound - the flute. // i am a genius

HAN PU!????????? baby batman is HAN PU (who rules the world reference)

also batman is literally luo binghe (svsss reference)

good for jin guangshan and jack frost's mom for running away and escaping this madness

frostie is suicidal. cue the beat boxing song

YES GO FULL HIPPIE ICEY BOY

that man did NOT swallow

DANYIN? danyin is the baby??? then why does the pregnant lady look like jieli???

i am 99% convinced fake old god is gonna die

this is a very random last minute storyline/backstory that i did seriously not see coming

has jieli been a plant by catwoman and batman this whole time?? thats why she cant reciprocate dragon's feelings?

shangque stop saying you'll forgive her manipulating you

damn the whole city gathered to stop him from getting laid

he wants to mawwy herrr

this is why dating villains is fun, they truly dont give a fuck about right or wrong, just you. great romance

he didnt go to hang locks! does he need to get the spike in him right NOW?

that punishment is so awful sauron become 3D in a 2D show

there is lightning! are they gonna kiss kiss body swap again?

why dont they just tell emo boy girlie isnt a fairy, she is the goddess of xishun

this conflict is seriously so unneccessary, she is a GODDESS

the people on twitter were right, this does get only better as you keep watching

thats not a cave, thats a torture chamber

and he decided to share her pain // ofcourse he did

thats a long ass wig

i thought he was gonna carry her but them walking hand in hand is so much better

ice man and jin guangshan's fathers name is lord DONG that is amazing

wowwwwww danyin just confessed her love in front of EVERYONE // balls // she has got balls

girlie's true identity was the fix-it of everything huh

dragon boy is brave to the point of stupid giving jieli all his money // omg is she finally accepting him // i wonder what they will get up to in his dragon form

now wtf is happening here

plot is now aiming at killing girlie i see

i dont see how he didnt see the loss of hellfire coming from miles away after he got his emotions back, i mean wasnt he so opposed to it for this very reason??

i cant believe they hurt my babygirl dragon boy

the phrase "menacing fairies" is quite funny

sauron just wants to live in domestic bliss but the plot wants WAR

i love the meek obedient expression sauron gets on his face around girlie

he is too smart to work with an obviously evil swirling dark cloud // right?

mr sauron i thought you werent gonna lie to her

she has gotten good at setting boundaries

is he possesed rn or just what is happening

i hope the war lives up to the hype, unlike who rules the world // i mean we have been talking about it for literally 30 episodes

the crazy thing is that if he had been straight up with her and told her why she has to die she would have killed herself easily

jieli is fucking smart

I GET IT NOW // he cant take off the bone orchid cause she is devoted to him, so he has break her heart so he can take it off

oooo is it time for ✨war✨

for two opposing armies the fairy realm and demon realm sure have the exact same armour

i think even if she tries to kill herself she wont die cause of special goddess powers

ooooo i think he will use the evil qi and then girlie will purify it

wow her screams of pain are quite intense

honestly i am sick of lady war just having no agency in this story // like lets have her come back to life and tell off batman please

ohhh its the long awaited batman vs iceman fight

they sure picked a place with terrible visibility for this war huh

who tf is qingchuan???

after all this time iceman just now found out batman is ronghao?

love how lady si ming still hasnt shown up again // though i do still believe she will

i knew it!! her magic dust brought everyone back to life

that god(dess) for better visibility amirite

wait are they still pretending she isnt gonna live

sauron doesnt have enough sand on his face, he face planted multiple times. i need him to be coughing up sand

oh wow she is actually disintigrating thanos snap style

why is jieli not just telling dragon boy the truth that she was poisoned? is it cause she knows catwoman is gonna come after her and she doesnt want him to get hurt?

and now batmans all happy and shit?? rude

omg stop manipulating lady war i am sick and tired of her agency being taken away

awwww this is a very cute sequence if not for the fact that he is definitely dreaming

wow watching sauron smile with all his teeth is weirddd

so i guess the remaining 5 eps will be him trying to get girlie back

if dragon boi dies i am gonna riot

oh its a dream sharing incense burner!

woooooow hot take from ice man there 'she will come back from death cause she hasnt married me yet'

i love the juxtaposition of the chaos irl and the serenity in his dream

i am really confused about the girlie marrying iceman prophecy because there is no way thats gonna happen right? unless she has some serious memory loss or something

i am so confused about ronghao's feeling towards lady war

jin guangshan is a fucking bitch

hah i knew lady si ming was gonna turn up

what a power couple though lady si ming and her dragon living together forever

popping back in to say i was right about the memory loss (i stopped in the last few eps cause i was tired lol)

i hate memory loss tropes btw // her memories better come back

did lady war just off danyin?? // misdirect

after i was done i had some last words to say

the ending wasnt bad exactly, plot wise, but i missed the light hearted tone of the show in the last six episodes and also why do we get more fluff in the middle than at the end??

all i wanted was to see them getting married and sitting on the moon throne as king and queen

and not a single jielie/shangque kiss?? we were ROBBED

And that's it folks!! Overall a very fun and enjoyable experience, would recommend!

[tillinghastcorporatemedia]

Often Dystopia (And how its gonna affect my art)

As much as there are some seriously good dystopian fiction. (yes im enamored with sci-fi) personally to me it almost feels tired but i understand the appeal and popularity

But how does this effect my art, and turn TillinGhast Corporate Media

Well first let me explain what TillinGhast Corporate Media is

TGCM was and is me taking what little part of my previous project that never took off and i never made it very far with, Tillinghast

Tillinghast was my outlet for my anger and isolation, and originally began after the death of my grandfather and the falling out of the people i had tried to gather for a band

I had written an ep dealing with my loss and an album that was inspired by election day 2016 and the amount of anger that i felt towards the establishment that i was already growing increasingly tired of

I ended that project after 2-3 years of trying to find vocalists/funds/and start making art

after that died i didnt touch any project and just wrote shitty electronic again, much like everytime i get bored with writing metal, but this time i had much more fun making just beeps and boops with no expectation of vocals and just making basic looping music

So where did TillinGhast Corporate Media come from?

If you notice i did keep the tillinghast name, as i found out when i first started this solo shit, isnt wasnt in use by any active musicians, and i only found one band that hadnt been active in over 8 years

But i wanted something new

something different

So i kinda let my focus on music, the thing i had been doing for over 10 years, go to the side to try and create elsewhere, right at the beginning of 2020

the first thing i thought i would try?

Writing a book

Which as a lot of people on here know, is really really really really really fucking hard to do, especially when you start this shit working a 9 hour overnight shift and writing on days off while everyone else you care about is asleep

And in figuring out what i had wanted to write then, i decided to not go big, but to try and keep me entertained, i needed more than just a few characters

So using a small chunk of info i had written down when i was trying to get into dnd and make my own scifi version of the game, i created a few planets, each with different species and histories and lore and economies

and i made a decision

Each planet would have different stories

to try and keep me entertained

which worked for about a year, and i havent updated since because i have trouble making myself create anything other than music, but i dont wanna get too recent or on a tangent

But why the name TillinGhast Corporate Media?

Well, because it sounds cool as shit. I used to love vaporwave and alternative genres and anything i could find that was "weird"

but also at some point i decided that if i do ever blow up, i want to hire other creatives and actually pay them well, and give them a place to really get out a message for the future

But its just me

So i get to have all the say

at least for now

But why a universe you ask? Why is this so damn long? Get to the point?

well at least for two of those im trying to be verbose and explain myself, and honestly if you read this far i love you and hope that youll stay here on this journey with me

I've always wanted to be part of a group, art creative, touring band, etc.

Ive gotten close only once or twice, but ive always been diy and taught myself shit so i figured i wanted to combine all of my loves into one thing, one giant sandbox where i can be creative in my decisions

And once again, i didnt want it to be just me. So TillinGhast Corporate Media will always be changing and evolving as i learn more about this giant world im having to navigate

I will say there will probably errors or fails, but i want this to be inclusive and open and loving so other people can use this as a means to escape, if even for a little bit, the harsh reality we all face.

Much like i got an escape in music and books as a kid and teenager

So why a universe? because a universe is big and can hold many stories and many perspectives, much like a library can hold many different pieces of knowledge

So to get to the final point, for those of you who actually made it this far based on the title

TillinGhast Corporate Media both as myself and as a future idea or brand

at least for now

Will not ever be a dystopia story

I have not forced myself to change and grow and evolve and continue to sit in my negativity and apathy and just general poopy pants view of the world

To not try with all my might to maybe write something that while not a utopia, is not dystopia and imagines a brighter, better, future where people maybe dont have to worry about as much, because they learned from our awful horrible past and actually refuse to repeat any of it

To try and make this more about characters and stories and music and the things that make myself and others smile, instead of regurgitated dystopias where even basic life is rough

does this mean everything will be all flowers and butterflies and my little pony?

absolutely the fuck not

Truth is often stranger than fiction and anything can happen even in a shiny place, but the point is to not be a negative nancy and have a bunch of shitty stuff going on all the time

One of the planets is a floating colony with what little remains of the human race

One planet is basically in the middle of an uprising of an exiled group

The book im writing (kinda spoilery but idk if ever ill finish this damn thing) literally has an act of terrorism being planned from someone who was radicalized by a really bad group that is basically space religion and its many parallels

All of my short stories are slice of life stuff that happens in a few scenarios where each character reacts to an outside force

But this wont ever be some dragged out for purely entertainment type angsty or edgy or anything like some books do with trauma

i want to look at stuff like we're building to something better, not something worse. optimistic but not utopia or something like that

(honestly this point ive already kinda gotten myself choked up so im gonna wrap it up)

But TillinGhast Corporate Media is basically my idea for a better future

and maybe im wrong and my stuff sucks and i need to change it

i have no idea because no one really follows my shit

so i just do what i want within the dumb boundaries and expectations i place on myself

but it is has been better before and it will get better again, and i am tired of that place being only in my head

so im creating this big huge universe with aliases that i call "artists" so it looks like there is actual musicians in this universe, i at one point started on a medium length animation series, and im trying to use my shitty computer to learn 3d shit

So stick around, at least you'll get some music out of it

and on that note i will mention i do have a few singles and 2 albums out, all of which is on youtube and streaming sites (its on spotify but i fucking hate spotify both as a company and some of the people they sponsor stream on any other site please you'll give more money to your favorite artists)

[zombieweek-g]

Finished Black Sun

massive spoilers for the whole show under the cut obv

never in my life have i watched a show so utterly devoid of any subtext whatsoever that wasnt just not terrible, but was actually pretty great overall.

To literally no ones surprise the themes of racial and ethnic discrimination were not subtle in the least and at all times felt like being hit in the head with a bat, but at a certain point the absurdity of it actually became, sort of endearing? Like it’s so hard to take the show seriously when it does something like make direct reference to the death of George Floyd but at the same time the way it wears its themes so blatantly on its sleeve without leaving any room for misinterpretation is pretty impressive. 

Like yea, it’s not subtle, but it also never compromises on its main theme by taking some shaky middle ground on the matter, the show holds to the idea that the only way to induce change is by fighting for it. I was fully expecting some wobbly ending where the characters try to get along with words, or get one over on the prime minister thorugh the law but no, it ends with a fucking political assassination set to an instrumental version of the original Black opening. Like the absurdity of it all contrasts so starkly with the very serious portrayal of its themes, but that actually kind of adds to it in a way.

Theres also a lot to be said for how the show never actually forgets what tis adapting, or the inherent camp/nature of the original black. Like I’d seen a clip of the remade opening sequence before i got to ep 10 and assumed it was some post credits thing but no that shit is front end center on the final episode. Combined with the incredible practical effects and suit design, and it makes something that plays on all the strengths of tokusatsu so well that even if the darker nature of the plot can go a bit far at times, it’s still a toku ass toku show.

All this praise without even touching the plot of the show, which is where it gets a little bit shaky for me. Not to say the plot was bad of course, I was thoroughly engaged with the way the story was told for the first seven episodes. Building the viewer’s understanding of what happened in ‘72 through small clues in the modern day plot to the point where you basically know what’s gonna happen, but can still be surprised by exactly how it happens. Also on that note of the ‘72 to modern day transitions, a lot of them were done extremely well imo, especially in the later episodes where it was used to contrast the scenes happening. Just generally the story, even with only 10 eps, felt a lot like watching a super condensed 50 episode show, especially with eps 8/9 basically not having kotaro do anything but be dead for them.

Like every 3 episodes felt like they followed a totally different sort of structure, with the first 3 being very typical semi motw plots, leading into the climax in ep 6/7, and then the sort of calmness of 8/9 before the finale. It made each episode so much more engaging to watch over time, and makes me pretty happy I didn’t just binge the show.

That said the 10 ep structure definitely meant some of the characters got less time to really develop than others, with Nick being the biggest example of this, though even then I didn’t really feel like I needed to know more about him other than being a cool dude who wants to be a kaijin. Though that slightly goes out the window with the reveal that he’s Oliver’s son/grandson, since there wouldve been a lot more room for interesting stuff with him in that situation.

Overall though, outside of a few oddly paced/worded dialogues, a lot of the character work felt very well done. Some of the Gorgom priests didnt get as much as they could, and the same went for Black’s little circle of friends by the end, but there was still enough for each of them that nobody really stood out as being flat. Though I’ll admit some of Aoi’s scenes in that ep 7-9 range felt sort of like an abrupt change, especially with her threats towards Bilgenia.

But again, none of that really stops this from having been probably the best high budget show to tackle this sort of conflict that I’ve ever seen. For a long time I assumed any big productions like this that would try and have this kind of theming would just take the same pathetic middle ground that they usually do by the end, but I think that’s something I should’ve just attributed to American Hollywood productions instead.

So far this is the absolute best thing to come out of all the Rider 50th stuff that’s been done, and after having seen both this and shin ultra im kinda incredibly excited to see what shin rider brings to the table.

But anyway, all of this doesn’t speak to my love of this show as much as the fact that I’ve rewatched the scene of dounami getting decapitated to the black opening about 30 times now. I’m so incredibly happy that this show I hade basically zero expectations for turned out to be as good as it was.

[midnighteloquence]

lets rant about a person im starting to not like and lost of reasons why i dont

right uhh i need labels to get started

friend a: (hey pookie) FAV PERSONNNN!! ^^ i love them so much theyre so so cool and amazing and ahh best friend love ya

friend b: my first friend in this school!! i love her so much shes so so swag even if i dont tell her often how much she means to me shes sooo amazing

friend c: subject of this rant, we used to be rlly close but recently i stopped liking them as much

idk if theres anyone else im mentioning so thats gonna be it

okay so to start off (what i started off with anyways when i first ranted about this in the shower) is the fact that recently theyve been sending me tiktoks about really sexual things saying that its me and them. i know it is technically my fault for not being super clear on my boundaries and not saying whether somethings bothering me or not, but i just get so uncomfortable when you keep talking about about how you cum to me. i know that i make alot of sexual jokes with friend b, and for a while i didnt get why i was so uncomfortable with C making jokes about me, until i realised that its because with B i like them but with C i dont like them as much making me more uncomfortable towards them.

another reason is the fact that they lie, like all the time. even when it isn’t necessary. theyve said themselves that theyre a pathological liar, and that they have bpd, adhd, and depression and anxiety. which is why i never talk about any of my problems involving them. but literally i dont fucking get how they think im gonna believe them then 1st, none of them add up and 2nd, you lie to me when you know i know the truth?? like at some point i heard you talking shit about A, and when i bring it up you lie to me?? its just ugh. youve lied to my face so much i always ALWAYS think youre lying. you could be blatantly telling the truth but ill still think youre lying.

another mini thing is that you expect me to know so much about your past and your mental illness but you dont clarify anything about them?? like youve said “i cant do that and you know it.” but i seriously dont?? you havent told me anything about your bpd or how it effects you but you assume i know everything about it?? i cant just guess things im sorry

a really main thing is the fact that they keep insulting me (and many many MANYYYY others) on tons of things, more specifically about our insecurities. at some point, they kept on insulting my friend’s boyfriend’s face to the point they had to FUCKING COVER IT. AND THEY STILL CONTINUED?? and when mentioned that theyre a dick they say “oh i just dont know how to act nice”. LITERALLY. IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY THEN STAY SILENT. actually you dont know how many new insecurities i have formed because of you. and ik i can speak for everyone you keep insulting “as a joke”.

another thing!! they are super contradictory and hypocritical. at some point they said something along the lines of “i know that you cant show affection very easily but still i think a little bit would be nice”. you admit yourself that you know i cant show affection that easy but then you still ask for it?? im fine with affection every now and again but you want me to always show affection. i cant be that fulfilling person for you and you know that but you still ask for it. plus; you have a partner yourself (oh also they keep telling different stories that dont add up like “i got to cuddle with my boyfriend” then say “hes gonna come over so i can see him irl for the first time!!”).

another note on the “fulfilling” part, i find myself almost always having to either convince you that i actually care for you or having to convince yourself not to kill yourself. its fucking exhausting. i have to repeat myself over and over and over and over and over again that i like you but you still say “yeah but bfr you dont”. i shouldnt have to do this constantly im tired of it. you are mentally ill, these are things you talk about to a fucking THERAPIST, not a 13 year old girl whos struggling herself.

TALKING ABOUT THE HYPOCRISY. right so they continuously say about how im not putting much effort into our friendship. but them themselves arent putting any effort into me. you talk about how if im distant you think i hate you, but when have you ever expressed actual interest in the things im saying? friendship goes both ways, not only do I have to make effort in getting closer to you, YOU have to make effort in getting closer to me.

literally you talk about how im never really interested in your interests, but i actually engage, i ask questions, i remember things. but you? all you do is answer with an uninterested “cool”. i know that youre struggling tho which is once again why i dont bring it up. literally you say im your favourite person, but when someone even dares tells you to talk to me you say “what is there to talk about? [my interest]?”

about your mental health, it is the primary reason why i dont bring anything up. because i know that youre suffering and i know that you’d say that thats the reason youre like that. but its so frustrating to have to continue to be your friend just because i know that if i leaved you’d do something drastic. im so exhausted and mentally drained because of this friendship.

you know yourself that i am struggling, you were at some point worried i was gonna kill myself. but you still continue to have to have me convince you that i dont want you to kys. “you’ll live” say that again to me istg.

alot of things ive already talked about on this account and my incognito account @imnooneyouknow so if you wanna know more check that out in the link below!! like and subscribe for more epic content!!

(bye)

[irene-dimension]

ok well just let me type this out to get it out of my head. senior year was seriously ass. and now thats its over..; im in this weird in between right now of classes having ended but so much senior stuff is still coming up. and i feel like a complete and utter failure. not academically. academically, i got my aice diploma junior year, went to college full time as a hs senior, got into my dream school and the top school in florida, and had straight A's every year. yeah, it sounds good all typed out, but i cant help but feel that the struggle for all that was worthless. because somehow, i still failed. i hardly have any real friends. many of my friendships crumbled this year. i have severe social anxiety. i feel like everyone else in my class is so social and has such strong bonds with so many people, and i dont have that. i dont know how to interact normally. making friends is simply a skill i never really developed. and a lot of the blame for that falls on how i was raised. i went to a tiny private catholic school for 11 years. the same 30 people in my grade (15 per class as we were divided into two, because 30 was considered a large class) for ELEVEN YEARS. it truly does something to the psyche. and only a handful of my peers werent assholes. then, i started hs during covid. it was frustrating in terms of making friends, because there was such a heavy expectation to branch out and do that, but we also weren't really supposed to be near each other? and going from a school with maybe 230 people to one with 1,500 was not an easy transition. i didnt know how to really socialize! and i feel like ive never been able to change the effect all that had on me. then being labeled "quiet" and "shy" makes you never wanna open your mouth ever again. i was in three clubs, and it made no difference. seeing everyone else with their large friend groups makes me feel so insecure and shitty. and fucking THEATER KIDS should not be making ME feel insecure like what the actual fuck?? anyways. i feel like ive cried more in this in between time than all year, and i wasnt particularly doing well all year either. it just sucks. im so so sad over the what ifs. i have to grieve the person i couldve been and the life i couldve had. its not fucking fair. on top of that, the school im going to is the one my parents, grandparents, and many of my other family members went to. my older sister didnt get in, when they really wanted her to go. i worked so hard to get in because i had some stupid notion that i could "win" and finally they could love me as much as they love her. yet, they dont even seem happy about it. they act like they dont care at all. like everything they have to do regarding college stuff is just a burden to them. like, great. i wasted my whole life,, i couldn't make friends, i couldn't make my parents like me, nor the rest of my family. everyone just views me as some shy loser freak.

at least i didnt peak in high school, right?

[rawwkfingers]

State of Decay

I knew going into this that this was a serial about vampires but I didnt realize just how VAMPIRE those vampires were going to be. I think Vampires of Venice conditioned me to be unprepared and I loved it

There was, of course, a lot of the silliness that, for better or worse, defines Classic Who. The storm-the-castle scene was on par with some of the worst fight scenes in black-and-white era, the worldbuilding was shallow, and even considering their low budget the prop and costume design was, frankly, bad. The scientist guy's literal string "hat" was painfully distracting in particular

I also was not a huuuge fan of how Romana was sidelined a lot in this serial, with her one big moment of going to save Adric ending with her as a damsel, nor was a fan of how Adric's attempt to save her amounted to nothing. I really liked the scene that set up Adric's plan so to see it be resolved with like, a five second scene before he gets captured was disappointing

But despite all these issues (if I can even say that considering how I've come so far through a series defined by these aspects) I really loved this serial.

Part of that is just how firmly this serial committed to the bit. There was only one Dracula joke, with the rest of the serial very firmly saying "vampires exist now here's why that's scary." The seriousness it treats such a silly idea was a change of pace in how the show usually treats its villains, and I appreciated that

The character work was also really strong. There were some things left unclarified, like why Aukon had more power over the other two vampires, but for the most part all the characters were clear and not-caricatures. Particular shout out to the relationship between Ivo the village leader and Habris the captain of the guard. The scenes of Habris choosing Ivo's son despite their friendship, displaying one of the serial's themes being the Face-Eating Leopard Party meme, and then Ivo killing Habris in the end were really strong

It wasnt until the climactic ending though that I had a little realization moment of why I was enjoying this serial so much. The scene is the Doctor shooting a spaceship into the sky, only to have it plummet down and crash into the Great Vampires chest. In theory, and writing it out, it sounds totally badass. In practice, with the minimal special effects budget of the show, it looks like something I'd expect from a 50s Bmovie, not a show that at this point has been on for nearly 20 years and has a huge following and SHOULD have a bigger budget

And yet, it was that moment that I really internalized what I joked about before; this show looks bad. The acting is hammy and the effects are abysmal. This has always been the case and there have been a lot of amazing stories despite that, but I always was viewing this show with a "its a product of its times" view. Now, I think I've come around to saying "I love this show, bad effects and all."

The Classic era has always been proud of how bad it looks. There have never been jokes about "you look like a man in a mask" and every actor in the show has always taken the material they're given completely seriously. When they decide to add things like a Vampire God who barely survived a war across the universe with the Time Lords, they say that with their whole chest and expect their actors and audience to take that seriously. And I love that, even if they portray that with badly painted miniatures